#like sure he was going to fuck up the bad kids academically and maybe get them killed

[rrat-king]

hey i know we are all like ‘fuck him’ but what if oisin doesn’t know?

he knew that kipperlilly was there to kill the proctor, his job was to plane shift her out after, but we only saw his hand. what if he doesn’t know that the plan went sour? brennan said that killing buddy was a reaction to getting caught, never the original plan.

we only saw oisin’s hand. what if he doesn’t know buddy’s dead?

[thistlecatfics]

Talking about Incest in Public

(both the painful traumatic kind and the hot fictional kind)

As it turns out, lots of the people who read and write taboo fiction have survived some deeply fucked up shit. After talking about incest with other survivors on the Moon, Sun & Stars discord and answering questions, I decided to share more about my experiences and the things that helped me survive and the things that helped me heal, because there are a lot of us, and a lot of us feel very alone, and maybe there are other people who aren’t incest survivors but who might want to know more to better support the survivors in their life.  

–

Incest is not just a sexual act between two family members -- it's a larger system of absence of boundaries within a family, and it's almost always part of multiple incestuous dynamics, even if only one might be the obvious or explicit dynamic. 

If you’re an incest survivor, you’re almost certainly not the only one in your family. 

-

“The true characteristics and dimensions of incestuous abuse have been masked by the taboo and silence that have surrounded its occurrence. Recent research demonstrates that incest occurs regularly in our society, perpetrated by individuals who, for the most part, would otherwise be regarded as fairly normal. The taboo on incestuous relations is a deterrent to some would-be perpetrators but not to others. The taboo contradicts the reality of incest prevalence, a fact which led Armstrong (1978) to comment that th taboo has been on the open discussion of incest and not on its perpetration.”

-Christine Courtois, “Healing the Incest Wound: Adult Survivors in Therapy” 

–

To use my family as an example - 

My (similarly aged) brother did sexual things to me as a kid, and I had a range of reactions to it including pleasure and enjoyment. And confusion. And fear. I do not think he is bad or even what he did was bad. I think we were both two kids who existed in a family with incestuous dynamics, and we were both shaped by those dynamics and trying our best to survive. 

From a young age, I existed as a physical comfort object to my mom (when she was sad she'd get into my bed to hold me until she felt better while I dissociated), and I took on the idea that my role in the family was for my body to be used to make other people feel good. The sexual behavior by my brother felt like an extension of how my mom held me. 

My mother was the victim of incest from her uncle, and her parents sided with her uncle over her when she spoke out about it (even after he was facing legal consequences for his behavior with kids outside of the family) (even after he fled the country). She didn't know how to emotionally regulate herself, and I don't think she had (or has) the capacity to understand a child's need for physical autonomy and boundaries because her own were never respected. 

There were other incestuous behaviors and dynamics within my family which I'm continuously discovering and unpacking. I think my mom’s uncle abused my grandmother too but I’ll never know for sure. It’s deeply uncomfortable to look back on a happy family story or a childhood nickname and see something sinister underneath and wonder if you’re being paranoid or if it’s actually that bad.  

–

Things that have helped: 

Long term relational therapy (5+ years). EMDR. Adopting a cat. Adopting more cats. Antidepressants. Reading about incest (realistic, terrifying, academic). Reading about incest (fictional, hot, amateur). Being a competitive athlete. Getting a graduate degree. Going on long walks late at night. Telling my family I had Covid so I could skip a family vacation. 

These books specifically: Healing the Incest Wound by Christine Courtois, The Myth of Normal, Dissociation Made Simple, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, The Narcissistic Family Unit, Clementine Morrigan’s writing x1000. 

The protector parts: Eating disorder. Self harm. Drinking. Perfectionism. Depression. Suicidal ideation. I’m grateful to these imperfect protectors I’ve leaned on over the years. 

Things that have not helped: 

You will be shocked to hear that people on the internet yelling about how people who find fictional incest hot are disgusting and bad and dangerous did NOT in fact help me unlearn the belief that experiencing incest made me disgusting and bad and dangerous. Luckily, I’m built of spite. But it certainly did not help. 

(If I think about my vulnerable pre-teen/teen self reading those things, I become deeply angry. How dare you hurt her in the name of protection.)

- I don’t cater to all these vipers Dressed in empath’s clothing God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see

-Taylor Swift, But Daddy I Love Him

-

After I discovered fanfiction in middle school, and then after I realized that there was a world beyond OFC/Draco Malfoy fic, I read a lot of Blackcest. I devoured any I could find, hopping through rec lists on LiveJournal. 

Reading Blackcest fics, first Bellatrix/Sirius then Sirius/Regulus mostly, allowed me to see my experiences reflected. Those fics gave me a way to contextualize my family and my role in it. I hate the expectation that kids who experience bad things should go to a safe trusted adult rather than find art that romanticizes their experience. The whole point is that there isn’t a safe trusted adult. The whole point is that I needed the art. I got to hold the romanticized narrative until I got far enough away that I could put it away in a box until I had enough therapy that I could safely open the box and build a new, more honest story. 

Obviously plenty of people love incest smut and fic and art. It’s taboo! It’s angsty! It’s a classic! Probably most of those people don’t have direct personal experience with incest in their families. I’m glad they read and write fics too. 

But for me – have you ever experienced something you believe so strongly you will never be able to say aloud? That any time you see your secret referenced it’s in shock and disgust and revulsion? You can pretend – you’re very good at pretending – but you know it’s real, and you know it’s your secret you’ll hold onto for the rest of your life while the world reminds you how disgusting you are? 

Then you find that people are writing about what you experienced in a thousand variations that all contain some nugget of your truth.

I cannot express in words how important it was that I found those stories at that time. 

I never commented on a single fic. I never made a single account on any of the sites I read fanfiction on. I clicked the “yes I’m 18” box without hesitation every time. I wish I could go back in time and have my adult self articulate the enormity of my gratitude for each and every author who helped save me whose work exists on sites I can only revisit with the Wayback Machine. 

I understand why people might feel horrified at the idea of a 11-12 year old reading smutty incest Harry Potter fanfic. People aren’t wrong for feeling that way. 

That said, I truly don’t care what people who aren’t incest survivors think.

I’m so proud of that child for finding a way to survive. She might have hated herself, might have fantasized about death, but she survived and kept the truth of her experience wrapped up in a fictional world where it could be safe to explore and kept it there until years and years of therapy made it possible to engage with it in reality. 

- I’m a real tough kid I can handle my shit They said, babe, you got to fake it till you make it And I did

-Taylor Swift, I Can Do It With a Broken Heart -

No one is writing about incest the way Clementine Morrigan is right now. I’m so grateful for her. I’m not sure this little tumblr post would exist without her essay series. 

"Incest functions as a spell of unreality. A structure of nothingness. A completely normal and unremarkable family life in which something unnameable is ominously and terrifyingly wrong. You know in the summer when you can see the heat making the air go squiggly? Imagine those squiggles as an indication that in the seeming nothingness, there is something there. Incest is like that. Subtle, pervasive, unthinkable, unnameable. But present, felt.

As a teenager I came up with this metaphor: Imagine you are in a house full of bugs. There are bugs crawling all over all the walls and all the furniture and in your food and even on the fork you are lifting to your mouth. And you feel disgusted, you feel like something is really wrong. But your whole family is acting completely normal, laughing and eating and talking as bugs crawl over their faces and into their mouths. When you tell them you think there are bugs in your food your family says it’s just pepper and not to worry about it.

There is no way to talk about incest without feeling that you are lying. This is because incest lives in the realm of unreality and everything in the realm of unreality cannot be thought or said or named. When you speak of things that happen in the realm of unreality it will always feel like a lie and be treated like a lie. You are breaking the fundamental rule. You are not allowed to talk about what goes on in the realm of unreality because it isn’t real."

Read more and pay for her writing if you can on her substack.

-

Without a doubt, the not-explicitly-sexual incest from my mom fucked me up more than the explicitly sexual incest from my brother, but I only feel confident claiming the incest survivor label because sexual stuff was done to me by a family member, and I still feel like I’m lying sometimes because it wasn't bad enough to count. 

I’m a literal mental health clinician who can map out various incestuous dynamics within my family and who has clear memories of a family member doing sexual stuff to my child body, and I still feel like I’m lying. 

I believe you if you feel like a liar because I bet you do. I believe you if the incest never included anything directly physical. I believe you if you enjoyed it. I believe you if you don’t remember but feel like it’s true. 

I love us. 

If we’re monsters, I love our courageous monstrosity.

If we’re liars, I love the way we make up stories to survive when reality is impossible. 

If we’re an uncomfortable truth, good. 

-

It still impacts me. I’m not over it. 

It’s very difficult for me to imagine love that does not include violation. To be loved and to be allowed to maintain a self. 

But I’m open to learning otherwise, and that openness is new. 

-

I was so, so good at living in unreality. I could make myself perfect, such a flawless object until I couldn’t think of anything except killing myself, but even then I still maintained the image of perfection my family expected. 

It’s cool I never actually killed myself. 

I find it hard to be around my family now. There are advantages of living in unreality. I drink a lot more when I’m around my family than I ever did before, but I don’t think about killing myself nearly as much. Reality is worth it. Being able to exist as a person is worth it. 

- I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.

-Sylvia Plath

- I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. (I insist.)

It didn’t kill me then. It’s not going to kill me now. (I remind myself.) 

My life is worth living, and there are fights worth fighting, and it is undeniably true the world is full of horror, but it is good to write and create and be alive, and it is good to try. I’m a little afraid to post this, but the fear and shame isn’t mine to hold, and I never should have been the one holding it. 

Consider this a thank you note sent out to the universe in the hopes the sentiment echoes towards those authors who saved me then and to all the writers who are saving people now. Your art matters. No matter how weird or niche or dismissed or hated it is. It matters. 

Thank you.

[24-2-25]

❝YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!❞ ― sim jake

synopsis | you’re notorious for you’re bad luck in dodgeball. seems like the cute boy from your math class also has bad luck, considering he’s always there to keep you company on the ‘out’ wall.

wc | 1.1k

pairings | jake x fem!reader

genre | one shot, fluff

tw | dodgeball??

note | i wrote this in like 2022… it’s finally out 😼

you were notorious for your bad luck in the horrid hell game, also known as dodgeball.  Everyone in you class knew it, your sigh can be heard through crowd when the game is announced. 

As a person who isn’t a widely known dodgeball champ, you decide to a stick near the back where it seems the safest. 

wrong. 

lo and behold, as you stood near the back corner of the gym hiding from the treacherous foam balls, a purple ball comes flying and hits you hard on the shoulder. 

“ow fuck!” you hissed holding your shoulder. your classmate on the other side cheers and high fives one of his friends. 

ew teenage boys are all the same, prepubescent, smelly and far from mature. 

you sat on the edge of the wall where all of hit students stayed. 

you sat your back against the wall and as you got comfortable, a soft “hi” came from above you. 

“oh jake hey.” you respond, still holding your shoulder from the impact. 

“ah sorry about that! beomgyu gets a little competitive when it comes to pe class.” a sheepish smile appeared on his face as he apologized. 

“nah it’s all good, it’s not like this was the first time.” you laughed it off. 

his face brightened at your laugh, a pointy smile forming on his face. 

“yeah you always seem to be on this wall. it’s almost as if there’s a reserved spot for you!” his cute giggles fill your ears. 

okay you take it back, not all teenage boys were smelly and immature. especially not jake. he was the sweetest, kindest, most athletic and academic boy in your class. not to mention his insanely good looks and cute australian accent.

with that he was the most sought out boy of your grade, and you were glad that you could call him one of your friends. at least you hope he considered you a friend. after all he always talked and texted you. 

“i’m surprised you’re here. you’re like so athletic.” you smiled at him. 

“oh you know.. we all have our weaknesses.”

for example you, and he thinks that’s his biggest one. 

jake couldn’t remember when he started to like you. your magnetic and captivating personality seemed to catch his eye the first time he saw you interact with your friends. 

he couldn’t forget your pretty face and cute smile. and the sound of your laugh? best sound to ever bless his ears. 

maybe it was when you offered to show him around without being told to when he first moved from australia. maybe it was your alluring kindness and generosity. he couldn’t tell for sure, but he did know that he wanted to be yours.

“that’s funny, who knew the most athletic kid would be bad at dodge ball.” you stated and he laughed and shrugged.  

“you always seem to get hit around the same time as me though. it’s like fate.” you added, laughing. 

he flushes a bit and laughs. 

“i’d hope it is.” he whispers. 

your teacher announced a jail break and you sigh, getting up from the wall and walking towards the back of the gym. 

you had a good 5 minutes of peace before a dodge ball comes rushing and hit you square in the face.

“OW!” you screech. it was foam but damn the shit hurt. the person who threw that put his blood, sweat and tears in that. 

“SORRY!” a your friend jisung screamed and ran up to you. 

“han jisung you did not just hit me in the face.” you sighed annoyed holding your nose.

“my bad y/n. I’m sorry!” he tried comforting you. 

you let go of your nose, then a red streak of blood came rushing out of your nostril. 

“it’s fine-”

“shit y/n! your nose is bleeding!” he cut you off and screamed. 

you wiped your nose with you finger and saw blood, cursing under your breath. 

“i’ll help you and bring you to the offi-” he offered. 

“hey jisung i can take her i’m out anyways!”. jake came running toward you guys. you didn’t care who came with you, you just needed to get there. 

“okay thanks jake!” jisung smiled, getting back into the game. 

“let’s go quick y/n.” he ushered you out of the gym. by then, your nose was bleeding on to your sleeves. 

once you got into the office and sat with a tissue in your nose, you suddenly felt a rush of embarrassment. 

“oh god that was so embarrassing!” you cried. 

jake who was sitting next to you with a tissue box in hand giggled a bit. “no! it wasn’t.”

“you’re laughing!” you sighed, pouting at him. 

“thanks for taking me here by the way. if jisung came with me he’d probably cause chaos in here.” 

“nah it’s nothing.” he stated calmly, passing you another tissue. 

“no you really didn’t need to do that.” you smiled while taking the tissue and changing it out with you old one. 

“it’s funny that you got out at the same time though. again on accident i can’t believe it!” 

“yeah on accident.” he sounded guilty?

“wait you did it on purpose?” you rose a brow.

“uh…no.” 

“yes you did. why?” you questioned. 

“because i wanted to be close to you.” 

your mind was buzzing with questions and confusion. why would he want to be close to you? why would he lose on purpose? he loves sports. 

“you see, i’ve kinda liked you since last year and i never really get the time to see you unless it’s gym or math class.” he suddenly got shy and avoided you gaze. 

“huh? me? why?” you asked, confused. why would he like you? you didn’t consider yourself as pretty nor did he ever show interest in you before. where did this come from. 

“it’s okay if you don’t like me bac-”

“i like you too.” you blushed. 

“wait really?” his eyes widened. 

“why wouldn’t i? you so sweet and smart and like amazing. why do you like me?”

“your just-“ he sighs almost lovingly and you immediately knew. 

you laugh. “you’re silly! why would you lose purposely at a game to sit with me by the wall?”

“because i can’t talk to you otherwise, only on texts.”

“whatever goof, let’s go back to class.” you laughed again, getting up. 

“fine, but only if you agree to a date with me?” he asked, extending his hand. 

“sure, jake.” you smile, taking his hand and exiting the office. 

maybe your bad luck in dodgeball wasn’t so bad. 

© @24-2-25 est. 2024

[soxcietyy]

Addicted to you

Yuta x reader Aged up

Two academics rivals see eachother at a frat party. Little does the other person know how badly he wanted you.

It takes him not even a second to recognize you by the faint sound of your laugh. Even with the loud music blaring into his ears he wouldn’t be able to miss such a sound. His eyes scanned the room full of people as he searched for you. Looking at every person until he found those beautiful eyes of yours. There you were, standing in thoes dirty tennis shoes you always wore. Standing in a cute tight dress that suited you perfectly. With a red solo cup in your hand as you laughed and danced with your friends.

"Yuta! Pass me the bottle next to you." Someone yelled trying to get his attention.

He grabbed the closest alcohol bottle and handed it to whoever asked for it. He didn’t bother to turn to look at them because he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of you as much as he wanted to. He was surprised to see you here. A person who was an academic achiever, who wouldn’t be caught dead at a frat party. Someone who held themselves at such a high standard and would supposedly never snoop down so low. What could you doing here at all places? Especially on a school night.

His breath hitched when the both of you made eye contact from across the room. Your bright eyes quickly turning into glaring ones.

The both of you had some sort of rivalry going on. An academic rivalry if he had to be exact. Both of you had a few of the same classes together due to you guys being in the same major. You and Yuta were the top in all the classes you shared. Sometimes you would score higher or sometimes it was the other way around. This all started since high school and it carried out to junior year in college.

It didn’t help that your teachers would put you guys up against each other every time. He remembered how back then you guys were best friends. You would go out to eat, hang out, and study together. Now every time you were near each other tension could be sensed. If he had to be honest he hated it. He missed how you guys used to be and missed being around you. Everything about you was so perfect and yet you hated his guts.

Why did people have to put you up against each other? Why did they have to convince you that he was a bad guy.

He wanted to show you how much you meant to him. How much he thinks about you daily. How much he misses you and needs you so badly because he’s never met anyone like you. He didn’t want anyone but you.

He would ask around to figure out the classes you were going to take. Your schedule for the semester, when you would go out to eat or go to the library. He made sure that you would know he was also there but make it seem like a coincidence.

You had no idea how tightly you had him wrapped around your finger.

He lazily threw his head back as he took a shot that his friend handed to him. Hopefully it was enough to give him some courage to approach you. When everything went down he threw the cup onto the table and started making his way to you. Maybe the shot was a bad idea because he had already been drinking for a while. Plus he was already feeling it by the time he made to you.

You didn’t seem to notice him until your friends tapped your shoulder. When you did you frowned at the sight of him. He looked at you with his dark eyes intensely before stumbling a bit. You roll your eyes realizing he was drunk.

"Go back from where you came from Yuta. Dont tell me you came to boast about your recent exam grade. I don’t have time for you to ruin my night." You say as you turn back around to your friends.

Your scent hit him as you turned around making him want you more. Fuck a drug or alcohol addiction, your scent was his worst addiction and he was afraid he would act up because of it. Sadly the alcohol in his system made him act upon his thoughts. He wrapped his arms around you as he buried his face into the back of your head. He took a big whiff of your smell as your body suddenly tensed.

"Yuta?! What do you think you’re doing?” You say as you try to get his arms to release you.

"M’ so sorry, I don’t want to ruin your night but I need you so bad." He said as he hugged you tighter.

You could hear as your friend giggled and awed about Yutas actions. You had no idea if he was drunk or accidentally got something slipped into his drink. He must be confusing you for some other chick because when would Yuta Okkotsu be interested in you?

You somehow manage to slip out of his arms and grab him by the face.

"You want me to call you an Uber? You’re going to be embarrassed tomorrow when you find out that you were saying all this stuff to me. Can’t believe you mistook me for someone else." You say as you pull out your phone.

Your eyes were forced to look back up while trying to get onto the Uber app. He looked at your face for what seemed like a minute trying to figure out who you were.

"No, I could never mistake y/n" he said as he swayed a bit.

You looked at him stunned at what just came out his mouth. Before you could say anything he leaned in and kissed you on the lips. It was a long kiss that turned into a full on make out session. You could taste the drinks that he had been consuming tonight. You could also taste how desperate he was to be kissing you. His hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you in closer. One of his hands grabbing onto your chin so he could have you in the perfect possession.

You melted into his embrace as the kissing kept going. He was going at it non stop until you pushed him away from a breath of fresh air. When you did he decided you attacked your neck by smooching all over it.

"Oh he’s so going to be embarrassed tomorrow." You heard your friend say only to realize that she had recorded the whole interaction.

[youuuimeanmee]

SxF Chapter 95 Thoughts

The drought is over.

And HOLY MOLY

AAAAAA I know we're nearing the end-semester gala but I never thought we'd get it on THIS chapter AAAADHJDJSKDN

When I saw the chapter is 21-pages long, I made sure to savor it well sskskjs

"Guardians will not be attending the gala." DAMMIT. Oh wait, Twillight can just disguise himself as a volunteer. I forgot.

Lol this is really not good for Damian's poor little heart.

WOHOO Becky cute!!

Huh, looks like Henry and Martha had a history together. Maybe they used to be classmates in Eden? Or something else, maybe.

The party is different than I expected. I thought ALL students will mingle in one place. I thought we'd meet Demetrius here. Oh well.

Damn this is depressing. Reassignation class based on academic performances. It's really happening. Anya will be separated from Becky. Hopefully their classroom will not be that far off 🥲

Damn Damian. Looking fine there, like a true young chaebol.

ANYA IS CUTE!! She's a princess!! 😭💕 I was surprised with her hair, I thought she'd keep the haircones. It's almost like as long as the little bundle of her hair is protected, any hairstyle is fine. Her dress though... It's darker than I expected; I thought she'd go with light color. But this is fine too. She's cute either way. (lowkey reminds me of a little witch, lol). It's also cute how she and Damian looks matching with black-and-white outfits, hehe. (Then again, this is b&w manga. Will their outfits have different color in the colored illlustration?)

Nicee Ewen, you do know when to give credits when it's due.

Nah Damian you're just making up shit now. You have excellent eyes, you know her dress is not cheap.

Of course Damian would fo anything for any imperial-scholar related. Cute.

Now this is interesting.

Some people say it's a reference to Harry Potter, so I wonder if some of it will turn out to be true. Especially the last two: "the cursed underground maze in section 4" and "the sealed chamber in the tower of wisdom." Sounds like hella suspicious places for a school filled with top political figures in the country. What if those are the places Donovan entered often? Hmmm. *sus glance* Wonder if DamiAnya gang will tackle the 7 mysteries like in Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun and see something they shouldn't see like in Promised Neverland, lol.

Anya, you got this! It's the name you learned in the school's interview! She already forgot, lol. But at least she got the "Ben" right!

Wonder if any of these kids will become Anya's new classmate, lol. Endo really used his break time brainstorming new characters here.

OMG IM DED. Narcis Hubrisse. Brayzen. These fucking fitting names I swear 🤣🤣🤣

Yesss you go Becky. Set your standard high. Don't mingle yourself with these lowly boys.

YAAASS. A GENTLEMAN ASKING ANYA OUT. YOU GO BOY. Even if it's a facade at least it's better than these Hubrisse and Brayzen boys.

OH.MY.GOD. FFFUUUUCKKK AJDNSKDBKDJDJSKHDUDJXNJDKDHDJJSJKSJSJSYEEEESSSSSS

HE'S HEREE HE'S FUCKING HERE. His hairstyle is ugly but HE'S HERE. I was wondering if we're gonna meet him soon. I was righttt, he iss gonna be a recurring character. I mean look at the name reveal from chapter 93. Look at that damn edgy hair. Hopefully he will be Anya's new classmate. But I never thought he'd put an interest in her as a runner-up in the classical language test. What is his background? How is he so good with the classical languange to even reach 90-ish points even though it's rarely taught? Does he have a connection with Anya with his gift in classical language and weird hairstyle? Why does he have such unsettling bow tie? I need to knooww

And he even pull off such a strong reaction from Damian too, skskjsksk. 2nd ML candidate? Lmao

Good to know Arnold's family is B tier. Not bad.

Twillightt you got soft. Letting Anya and Damian do whatever they want? What happen to the mission?

Lowkey sad to see Anya trying hard because Twillight didn't trust she would do a good job in plan B.

Oh mah gahh these preciouss kiddss 😭True homiess 😭😭💕💕

At least this will ensure Anya to get her place fair and square.

I wonder if Twillight realize Anya is approaching Damian for the sake of world peace she mentioned. Or he's simply motivated with Anya's motivation.

But at this rate, the dance will be over the moment Damian got his partner, lmaoo

Great comeback chapter! 🔥🔥🔥

*Edit: Screw what I said that Arnold might be the 2nd ML. I don't trust his hairstyle, his droopy eyes, his bow tie, and his polite manners. So far we've seen only adorable children but he could be evil for all we know. Better be cautious than sorry.*

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Someone is eager to see Mafia Mamma and that someone is me. So anyway.

When a twenty-two year old Steve Harrington gets the call, he isn't in the best spot in his life. Sure, he survived all the Upside Down crap, but his parents finally had enough of his so-called trauma ("the earthquake was bad, Steven, but you can't let that influence your life forever! It's like you're not even trying!"). He didn't get to college and his love life is abysmal, but hey, at least he does something useful now - he's training to be a paramedic and he lives in a small, old flat, regularly calling Robin and his gaggle of kids and hanging out with Eddie whenever possible. So maybe it's not the best spot in life, but it's his.

Well, apparently his great-uncle that his mother never really talked about died and asked that Steve takes over the family business in his will. Family business that is in Italy. Cool.

Look, Steve likes first aid, saving lives and all that, but, after the second shared joint with Eddie, admits he's curious. No one said it has to be forever, but maybe it would help him to try something else for a change. Eddie absolutely approves, squeezes Steve's shoulder, but - a little sadly, it seems to Steve - admits he's going to miss the only person who went through all the shit and stuck around. He even jokes he'll hide in Steve's suitcase and will go to Italy with him. "You know, somewhere far away from the Satanist rep. Well, Vatican is there so that's not ideal, but maybe with no murders and levitation this time, I'd just pass as the weird American?" And without thinking, Steve blurts out: "Come with me."

They land in Italy with almost nothing, Eddie with a beat up backpack and his guitar ("not even death or other fucked up dimensions will us part, Steve!"), Steve with a sports bag full of clothes and graduation pics of his kids plus Robin and Nancy, and his trusted hair spray. He really, really wanted to take his spiked bat, but apparently that would be a hazard on the plane. Go figure.

And of course, the "family business" is full of black suits, guns, rapid Italian threats and on top of that, the other families know that the old head of the family is gone and they smell the blood in the water. Especially when the new leader is barely an adult who looks more like a model than a criminal. And his friend who looks like a criminal? That one looks more like a petty thief or vandal than an actual mafia member. Now is their time to strike.

Turns out, that wasn't the best idea. Not when the doe-eyed metalhead grabs the nearest chair and smashes it repeatedly over the assailant's head while yelling "I-DID-NOT-SURVIVE-BEING-CHEWED-ON-TO-DIE-TO-A-FUCKING-BULLET-YOU-MOTHERFUCKER!" while the new boss reaches for the nearest lamp and, like a bloody ninja, renders three assassins unconscious, then setting down the bloodied rod (goodbye, lamp shade and light bulb) and tells his advisor that he wants a baseball bat, a hammer and a bunch of nails. For...reasons.

They gradually settle in. Steve excels in keeping his family in line by adopting his best mom pose, hands on hips, while sternly uttering "What did we say about excessive violence, Francesco? Hm? If you start there, what do you do when you need to escalate? Why do you start with the worst? And they call me dumb." When his bodyguard cocks his gun and asks who called him dumb and where do they live, Eddie snorts into his coffee. (also Steve later apologizes to Francesco for calling him dumb, but also adds that rules are made to be followed, especially those that save a lot of blood and pain)

As for Eddie, without the academic pressure he becomes and unstoppable language student. He's like a sponge, being semi-fluent while Steve struggles with basic phrases. They study together and Eddie begins feeling more confident, takes up more languages and slowly starts functioning as Steve's interpreter and teacher in one. Also a bit more, when they have to evade another assassination attempt and Steve finds himself laying on top of Eddie, on the ground where he pulled him to save him from a nasty punch, and no one comments on it when they get up a few seconds too late, their lips and faces red.

Eventually Steve becomes fluent as well and that's when Eddie experiences the best time of his life - when they walk together in a market, bodyguards giving them just a little bit of privacy, and someone spits on the ground behind them - "stupid American." But before Eddie can react, Steve throws a bitchy look at the offender and says in perfect Italian: "and you look like a poorly shaved goat, yet I'm not judging."

Eddie howls in laughter and nudges Steve's side. "Careful, Stevie. I might think you don't need a teacher anymore."

Steve wraps his arm around Eddie's waist. In here, surrounded by the bodyguards and his family, he can finally do that. "Maybe not. But I'll always need a boyfriend. Wanna apply?"

[dk-ghostmachines]

i gotta talk about FourDogs

I really do. 'Cause I posted a lil' passive-aggressive hot take a few days ago, but this is Tumblr not TikTok. Here we can have our 60-second hot takes and eat our long essays too. Kipperlilly Copperkettle was introduced as a rival in episode 3, after which there were a number of posts criticizing The Bad Kids' response to her, labeling it disproportionately mean at best and bullying at worst. I think that's an unfair reading of that interaction and I'm gonna talk about why.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that it's parasocial as fuck over here and The Bad Kids are my personal best friends actually, so where necessary I'll do my best to separate the ((loyalist ride-or-die-bad-boys-for-lyfe emotional reactions)) from the actual points I'm trying to make.

((That being said, the fuck was FourDogs talking about? Y'know? Like what was she on about, for real?))

Here's what's true: over the course of their time at Aguefort, three adults directly related to The Bad Kids - Jawbone, Gorthalax, and Gilear - have been instated as faculty or staff. And if I'm a third-party, especially another student, then for sure. It's giving nepotism, it's giving cronyism, and I'm drinking my Haterade about it every morning. But favoritism is about treatment. It's about actions, rewards, benefits - and ma'am, if you're gonna levy a charge like that, I'm afraid you're gonna need receipts!

What actual benefits have The Bad Kids received from the school that is not available to other students? In freshman and sophomore year, The Bad Kids get detention like anybody else, they don't make it on the Bloodrush team, Gorgug in particular was always not doing great in Barbarian class, they take their midterms, they have to complete the big 60%-of-the-grade spring break project, etc. And now this year, Fig is getting punished for not going to class, Kristen is getting consequences specific to being a kid with ADHD who doesn't live at home anymore, Gorgug's still getting the literal opposite of favoritism from Porter, and Riz, Adaine, and Fabian are all getting the treatment from professors that is proportional for historically successful students in good academic standing.

((And someone else brought this up but, re:that 60%-of-the-grade project, miss ma'am, what were you doing in the Far Haven Woods?? In addition to saving the world again, The Bad Kids endured borderline psychological torture for their final grade, while the Buttcrushers got to step on bugs in the neutral zone??? But they're the privileged ones, no, for sure))

Whether or not saving the world is as big a deal in-universe as it would be in our real world is up for debate. Brennan said it was an outstanding feat in the scope of student adventuring at Aguefort to consistently complete Class B and C quests, but then, when TBK comes back from Hot Yorb Summer everyone acts like they went on a class trip to Six Flags. Either way, unearned success is the wiiiiiildest claim to lay at the feet of consistent world-savers.

Freshmen year it was the Helioic Fundamentalist Apocalypse and the Emperor of the Red Wastes. Sophomore year it was the Nightmare King and the Night Yorb. They've saved the whole school, they've saved specific students at the school. They My Little Pony-ed Ragh, one of the biggest actual bullies Aguefort had, and then Fabian killed toxic masculinity! Even if the favoritism was in the room with us, would it not be the natural result of all this hero shit??? Aguefort hasn't done The Bad Kids any favors he wouldn't do for the rest of the student body, but even if he had I'd get it because KRISTEN APPLEBEES SNUCK HIM INTO HEAVEN AND THEN BROUGHT HIS ASS BACK TO LIFE.

Again, maybe not remarkable in a world where Revivify is just a thing you can learn, but y'know! Shit!! Diamonds aren't free!!

Also FourDogs' whole tone of disdain for the "eccentricity" of Arthur Aguefort's administrative decisions truly boggles the mind, because we found out in freshmen year that he has some kind of mass Power Word over the government of Solace that allows the students of his school to do crimes, AND in sophomore year he has that auto-call-ex-machina that students can evoke when they're in danger overseas. His "eccentricity" is the reason the school can function at all, put some respect on man's name.

Now, let's get word-perfect.

That's the American Psychological Association.

And that's StopBullying.gov, which is managed by the Department of Health and Human Services.

Here's what's true. At moment 00:00 of their relationship, Kristen said something pretty freakin' mean to Kipperlilly for an audience of her friends with like, no provocation.

Kipperlily then revealed that she has based her entire campaign around addressing the perceived privilege that "some students" have under Arthur Aguefort's rules. And THEN, Jawbone revealed that Kipperlilly had been snooping around asking questions about Kristen's relationships with her god and trying to get general dirt on The Bad Kids. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE, in the preview for episode 6, we get Murph's line of "Kipperlilly's team is trying to get us kicked out of school".

Does that excuse the thing Kristen said ((yes it was hilarious)), no. Not at all. She didn't know that stuff, Kipperlilly just failed a vibe check. In the moment though, that's all it was. The Bad Kids met someone they didn't like and perceived as a threat, and Kipperlilly had something mean said to her by people she already didn't like and already wants to see brought down. While she was not threatening them in that moment, Kipperlilly is a threat. She's not a victim, she is an equal with opposing goals. And now that Ruben has the song of the summer, The Buttcrushers are probably just as popular as The Bad Kids. There is no greater imbalance, they're just adversaries.

Ultimately, Kipperlilly's got them fucked up. But she's a kid. Kids are allowed to get shit fucked up and misdirect their anger at systemic unfairness. TBK are also kids and well within their rights to feel what they felt when Four Dogs walked up with self-righteous vibes and started yappin about academic privilege in what is already the most academically stressful year of their lives.

As the audience, we not only know all the shit TBK has gone through that Kipperlilly does not, we also are aware of how Brennan is introducing her in the story. As soon as he brings her into the scene, you know what's up. The voice he gives her, the tone, the actual things he's saying - if you watch everyone's face after the line about favoritism gets dropped it's the culmination of the whole interaction. Oh, she's our enemy, like our specific enemy and her team is coming for us, specifically.

So what do we gain from ignoring all that? From ignoring the JUICE of this rivalry and flattening it into "the bad kids were mean :/". I actually love Kipperlilly, the rivalry is giving and I love feeling big emotions and getting to use angry, feral, fandom language. FourDogs, can't wait to see you next week, and I can't wait to read the 40k word, FourDogsxKristen, enemies-to-lovers fics. And y'know, shout out to all the people who kin her because she found the rogue teacher, it's pretty goated, I won't lie.

But also. Bad Kids Supremacy. Buttcrushers, stay mad.

[persephoneprice]

okay, i think i left this in tags, so like ignore this if you read those, but I can get into Urban Canville. I have the contrarian in me that can shake some sympathy thoughts loose:

I like the idea that he might be lower class than some of his other peers (going off a Peter headcanon that Io Jasper is as well and that she's a merit scholar to the Academy. His parents are referred to dismissively. Coriolanus can't even be bothered to remember what exactly they do. He posits physicists question mark).

Everyone not hesitating to dogpile him on national tv... makes me really think his family isn't in the position to complain.

I think his bad attitude could spring from insecurities about that and lashing out. (a lot of mentors can be this way to me, but I think coming from a less prestigious family could really put a chip on his shoulder)

He is canonically very smart and probably won't shut the fuck up about it, but when you aren't as rich and your family isn't as prestigious, what else have you got to compete with?

He likes making people feel stupid. It's his one sure-fire way to feel like he has the upper-hand. Since it's couched in the system of academic excellence, people can't punish him for it directly

Although, similar to how I see Arachne kind of leaning towards abusing her power over her tribute, I think that Urban would do the same.

I bet he tries to fit in when people are shitting on someone else but everyone gives him a weird look because they are like... "hey, you can't say that. you were just shitting on us?"

He either stays in academia or is a scientist (or both). Maybe he makes bombs. Maybe he was making prototypes for what eventually became the pods in Mockingjay?

I think he could have a very ugly personality that comes from very human frustrations. But he's a dick. I hope everyone makes him worse.

maybe he dies in a lab accident (his own bomb). maybe he is legitimately killed by rebels... maybe a lab assistant or a test subject kills him... i think he might be one of the mentor deaths in my headcanons that is not caused by Snow

okay that's all the urban canville i've got... idk

omg abyssal thank you!! you fr pulled through with this

i actually really like your first headcanon! the idea of him being a scholarship kid and the other kids not respecting his parents gives him an interesting (and kind of sympathetic to me?) background! i could actually understand his anger better when you think about it like that!

everyone is comfortable to dogpile on him during the games- so combining that with your first headcanon, i wonder if this is a regular occurrence? like, students like io and urban are the first to get pushed around because they have no important name to back them up.

i could see him weaponizing his intelligence as a defense mechanism in this scenario! he can’t compete with the elite they way they compete with each other, but he can best them in class. he acts very pretentious about it as a way to get back at them!

i agree, urban would definitely abuse his power over his tribute because he finally has someone ‘lesser’ than him to take his anger out on.

i think it would be interesting to have him cause his own death in the lab by overestimating himself!

anyway, this was all brilliant! thank you for sharing!!

[snarkylinda]

Sad bitch though of the day: whenever he graduated, was Spencer always alone?

We know he graduated HS at 12 years old, in Las Vegas, so Diana might had been able to go. And that is a huge might, because by this point her state was bad enough to not notice her son wasn't in the house all day in a bad day (Elephant's Memory backstory)

Now his first PDh was on California, when he was around 14- no mention of any College friend, and hell there is the little "she lived there for size months and didn't made any friends? Though that only happened to me." Joke that yeah- anyways I doubt his mom got to be there since it was in fucking California, so it's not a stretch to say he was on his own here.

We don't know when he got his other titles- but it's safe to say that at least one happened after he institutelate her, yikes, and I like to think that Gideon was in one of them at least.

Point is- imagine this: you are collecting titles like they are pokemon, sure being a Genious™ gives you a heads up that literally nobody else around has on the academic side but as it has been shown over, and over, and over again Spencer's intellect is strictly linked to his mental state; if he feels pressured enough he might see something that nobody else sees- or be completely unable to focus (*points to Zugwang, the most in your face example since he actually states it to the camera*) high school must had been a breeze at the academic department, but it was also when he was the most targeted (again he studied with fucking sociopaths), so....yeah, being a Genious is the only reason why this kid managed to do that with that environment.

Then college- Spencer is a little vindictive bitch so if he was ever mistreated in college we would had known about it almost instantly so it's safe to assume it was chill, if a bit lonely. And I mean in college most people don't care enough to fuck you up on the same way high schoolers do so it's fitting- but he was still a 14 years old, in another state. Mature enough to care for himself? Sure -it's not like he had any other option tbh- but he was still a fucking 14yo in an adult space, no wonder he knows how to keep a fucking anxiety attack at check. So obviously, going through all of this, Genious or not, must had been hard af.

College is hell. I dropped out of my first career and cried all night, we as humans tend to have this need of validation over our accomplishments hence why graduation is so idolized, we want to feel good about the years of our lives we lost to get there, with our closer family members cheering at us...

Now I want you to picture someone that is not even an adult, not friends in the class, no one at the crown cheering for them- maybe a teacher could cheer them up? But that is as far as it comes, as they just...look at the title they earned while dealing with some shit™, maybe a reporter or something want to interview them because what they did was awesome and their teachers puff their chest with pride over having taught such a prodege... and then they look in the way the other students are taking photos with their loved ones and talking about going to dinner to celebrate....

That, but 6 times.

[ghostcathedrals]

sports coach toji ://///

basketball

he's the chill coach; honestly worrisome how chill he is even at crucial times when they're trying to beat the quarter clocks. he's so composed even when the gap is widening (regardless if in favor of toji's team or not) that it's insulting to the other team's coach, as if he's belittling the game itself. like it's a practice game.

sports parents, esp. moms ..... i'm sure you know how they regard toji. single coach who spent a good sum of his money during his divorce court trial. anyway. they love him istg they watch the games both for their kids AND their coach

you're his favorite sports parents lmfaoooo

however, he's NOT chill during practices, especially after losing. now, toji's teams have far more winning streaks than losing, so he's usually stricter at the peak of the streaks or right after one loss. he's got that chill look with a sinisterly strict aura underneath.

"you're not yet good if you can't beat me" ⎯ is way too good it takes several practices for his team to catch up. well, good for him ⎯ two students from the male team, geto and gojo, were able to block his attempt for a two-point shot. AND NO NEPOTISM OK but maki's that grade school team point guard who's able to replicate his signature half-court shot. he got her a pair of basketball shoes for that.

megumi way too good for grade schooler but he also credits his vigor to practice on itadori yuuji.

toji too good there are offers being sent to him with higher pay and larger connections (which do attract him) but he said he'll stay because his son likes his school which is in the basic education of geto and gojo's university

toji likes the way you scream when you cheer and imagines if you'd sound just as loud when he (TOOT) you ;))

football

it's obvious hot under the sun on the field so yes he does take off his coach unform and practices with them with only either a muscle tee or a tank top (yes, i refuse to call it wife-beater). sometimes he forgets to take off his chain necklace even tho it's itchy bc god this man gets lazy at the weirdest times possible

oooooo everyone just loves rerouting to pass by the field (same) and then they'd take pictures so at some point college football got too famous bc of the hot coach

so toji's usually more of a verbal socratic coach. during cooldowns or breaks or warmups he makes sure that his players know how to think for themselves so that even if they're in the zone (which renders them on autopilot and when they're disturbed they lose focus abruptly). he has a way of making them calm down when they know what to do. the same method even helped them with their academics holy shit!

he's lazy when demonstrating but when he does omfg pls kick my face idk. important notes to consider are his agility and flexibility; strong physique in general; and quick thinking. even if he slows down to show them, he's still quick.

he does get frustrated bc we all get crankier when it's hot. he doesn't lash out on his players, he almost never did before, but he does lash out at home when megumi's not around lmfao.

and then one time your kid told you to watch his practice (for this your kid is assigned male at birth), so you did, and then you see his coach and all of a sudden your cute kid always sees you at the bleachers side, front row. parent perks.

the japan national team wants him to be the coach but he's like ..... maybe next time when my son joins your team

omfg if you do get together imagine the way he's flexible and he never gets to drain his stamina because it's overwhelming. i feel bad for you. it will be a tough time. i wouldn't just say in bed, but hehe. he'd fuck you anywhere as long as you say yes.

volleyball

ah yes, toji trained the best spiker-setter duo (that's the coach ukai in him) so now he's graduated two top players in the national team who will, sadly, go to separate teams after an intimacy problem which toji tries to be out of (who knows if the conflict was their breakup after college but ended up as teammates lmfao)

can we talk about how insane his spikes would be strong ones, insulting feints, and ooooo the cross court spike 😍😍 and his wrists!! the trajectory changes caused by his littlest techniques!

Thighs.

you take care of yuuji on behalf of his parents so now you're always seeing him and his very very very special friend and yuuji's equally ecstatic sister ⎯ megumi and nobara respectively. who knew megumi had such a hot father like???

toji being a volleyball player/coach makes a lot of sense ykwim he's got that service ace that no one has ever beaten until toji suddenly retired from playing and started coaching instead

home gym 😍

he's got that vacuum-sealed looking shirt every time he's coaching or at the games specifically. i think they put him on screen often for publicity honestly.

they ask him, "you're one of the best coaches of this generation, and the best graduating players were under your wing. what inspires you to keep being so great at your teaching?" and then he looks at the camera, and grins. "there's someone who watches during practice that divides my attention. i know they're watching right now." and then he winks

said person will not be able to walk the day after the winning games.

[the-stove-is-divorced]

This is gonna be a weird question and I feel kind of bad about asking you so many in such a short amount of time, but here I go again:

There are comics that show pieces of Bruce's childhood that aren't about the murders but about the time Before or After. And sure, a lot of it is standard happy-kid-with-rich-parents stuff but then there's also this:

Batman: Gothic comic. His friend gets killed and right after this Thomas has the great idea to go watch a certain movie called Zorro, where Bruce won't at all lose them as well, uh huh.

Or this, after his parents' murder:

Or the next one which is little Bruce's favorite bedtime story. I'm only uploading two more pics to get my point across because I've never added pictures to my asks and this is a test run, basically. Anyway, just so you know, there are more panels than these two:

And now comes my question:

Do you have headcanons about other traumas/weird incidents in Bruce's childhood? His parents' murder always gets highlighted but they're living in Gotham, you know? There's gotta be more.

(Btw if you're interested, on my nowsaday8 account I collect all kinds of mentions of 'Bruce's childhood' wether they're headcanons or legit comic panels, so there's the rest of some of the panels (i.e. the gory children's story) I added in here. You'll have to scroll down a lot, though.)

Please, don't feel bad at all! I really, really adore asks, I truly love rambling about characters I like! I just got busy, lol.

And oh my goodness, these are all so incredibly interesting? I'll be honest and say despite trying to write a fic about how Bruce was growing up, I haven't had the idea to explore what his academic life would be at this young, especially depicting like this, so thank you for showing me these! That happening right after Zorro movie is insane, but incredibly interesting on how Bruce understanding of the world, and of cruelty. I gotta marinate on these, omg.

The storybook is interesting as well, I want to possibly look further into that, but I do think it makes sense Bruce might've been a morbid child. With how particularly information seeking Bruce is an adult, he's gotta know every last detail, no one can convince me he was even worse as a child, curious about everything, including morbid or grotesque subjects. Was hanging onto every word of his father's descriptions of any surgeries or details about organ functions, not at all squeamish.

And getting trapped within the manor trying to find answers? That's so interesting oh my gosh! All of these are so incredibly interesting, genuinely.

I really wanna offer some little ideas of HC's and of the such, but I don't know! I think parent's death is such a naturally fucked up part of his life, it's harder to think around that, but for one idea, I do think he was a bit of an outsider at school before and especially after. That, and he always enjoyed heights. Climbing tallest trees, finding different ways to the manor's roof, hiding away from peers on the school's roof. Plus, personal HC of mine is the "Brucie" persona has always been in development, and a young, quiet Bruce has always been an avid people watcher. Catch a random ghost-like boy upon the high stairs, staring at you intently during a gala and maybe even mouthing along to what you're saying before disappearing into the shadows.

And oooo, I'll def check some posts out, thank you! :D

[mermaidsirennikita]

Barbenheimer review!!

Haha well

First off, I loved the *experience*. I love going to the movies, but I don't know that I've ever done a double feature in a theater before--there just haven't been many movies that would motivate me to do so, and my money is usually kinda tight, and my parents certainly never did that when we were kids because money was DEF tight and I'm one of four children. I suspect studios will attempt to replicate this shit, but it's not going to work (at least, not as well). The Oppenheimer theater I was in (saw that first, thank God) was about 80% full. The Barbie theater was completely packed. I went with a couple of female friends, neither of whom would normally see Oppenheimer, lol.

I should add--I'm not a big Nolan fan. I have seen, SOMEHOW, all but like, three of his movies, so I actually know what I'm talking about with him--and I think I can say I legitimately like Memento, I like things about The Dark Night and hate other things about The Dark Knight, I appreciate Dunkirk as a spectacle but don't think I would have liked it if I hadn't seen it in a theater, I ironically enjoy parts of Tenet (I think it's like... bad, but I really love the dynamic JDW and RPattz created), and the ONLY movie of his that I love is The Prestige. To me, everything else he's done since is chasing the greatness of The Prestige, you will never convince me that isn't his best work. And EVEN THEN. I think The Prestige, like many movies of its ilk including the Good Plot of Oppenheimer, is chasing Amadeus (1984).

I don't think Oppenheimer is bad. I think that Oppenheimer would absolutely be getting shit on for certain things if anyone other than Christopher Nolan did them, as is often the case with Nolan movies because filmbros give Nolan a pass so often; and I think it is grounded and maybe saved by a very good performance from Cillian Murphy (and I gotta say, it's a testament both to issues in the script and the power of the Murphy filmography that this is not Cillian's best work ever, it's still very good and he's set for a nom for sure) and... as much as I loathe to say this... the best work RDJ, a dude I can't stand, has done in years. I think the movie does a solid job of simplifying what is a very complex story and history (.... sometimes too much) and I think it does a decent job of portraying someone who did something really bad and then regretted it in a fairly gray manner. The movie sympathizes with Oppenheimer, but I don't necessarily think it like... lionizes him. It shows that he's a genius, but like, he was; it shows that he realized that he Fucked Up and tried to advocate for a safer usage of nuclear weapons; but he did.

Here's where we run into issues. This movie absolutely did not fucking need to be 3 hours long. There is NO. WAY. This shit needed to be as long as it was. We didn't need that much backstory of Oppenheimer in school, and Oppenheimer becoming a professor, and the bones of the Manhattan Project. The really interesting shit in this movie, I've gotta be real with you, is not the bomb. The really interesting shit in this movie is the aftermath of the bomb, the realization of Huge Mistakes, and the subsequent "betrayal" by a government that never gave a fuck about human beings, including Oppenheimer. The Red Scare of it all, and the creeping resentment Lewis Strauss felt towards Oppenheimer and the scientific community at large, which I gotta say, Nolan could've leaned into even more considering how that thread connects to the resentment right wing politicians especially feel towards not only the scientific community but academic at large to this. There's where the story felt alive--the Mozart and Salieri of it all, the PRESTIGE of it all. What is compelling is not a big bomb or tons of scientists repeatedly going "you're brilliant, Oppy, but you gotta figure out whether or not you're a Commie and plan accordingly", it is THAT. That tension. One of the best parts of the movie was Chekhov's Rami Malek, because it was the culmination of that tension, you know? Also, the FIVE BILLION TIMES we had Strauss flash back to Albert Einstein giving him a bitchy look. That kind of character tension is where it's at.

But Christopher Nolan is perhaps the most aggressively WHITE MALE filmmakers of all time, so it's really not surprising to me that he thought that The Bomb was equally interesting, and that we needed six billion shots of marbles representing uranium, or whatever.

And the thing is, for all that the movie is way too long, it also skips over shit that is incredibly important. I don't necessarily think the movie needed to delve into Hiroshima and Nagasaki on an "on the ground" level, frankly because I don't think Nolan has the range and I also think that the way it affected Oppenheimer was both direct and indirect, and the film communicated that fairly well. But as much time as the movie spent in Los Alamos, as much time as we saw beautiful shots of the area, and Oppenheimer riding horses around there with his wife, we had maaaaybe five throwaway lines about indigenous people? And like, no acknowledgment of the long term physical, financial, and emotional effects the project had on the community there. That is DIRECT. They were literally right there. And again, I don't think Nolan has the range, but when so much of your behemoth of a film takes place. Right there. It just seems insane to ignore it.

Additionally, Christopher Nolan remains incapable of writing women and convincing romantic relationships, even when he's going off of a biography of a guy whose romantic relationships were quite interesting. Florence Pugh is in like, less than 10 minutes of this movie despite having done so much promo. Jean Tatlock is given so little characterization that if you didn't understand what was happening with her before the movie, I don't know that you would fully get that she was severely depressed and not just Kind of a Bitch until she kills herself. And of course, there is like, a vague allusion to her struggle with her sexuality, which contributed to that depression, but it's not explicit. The scene where she makes him read The Line to her while he's inside her is... I wanna know.... is that like something Nolan read as a rumor to have happened or did he just make it up? Lotta questions there on a lotta levels.

I don't mind the nudity in Florence's scenes, obviously; I don't mind the sex scenes, though the second one was SUPER WEIRD (and by the second one I mean the time Oppenheimer and his wife imagined him naked with Jean riding him during his 1954 questioning). But I found the positioning of Jean as the angry whore figure to Kitty's Corrupted Madonna as super odd. Like, why is Jean shown naked so often, whereas Kitty, Oppenheimer's wife with whom he had a colorful sexual history, who in general was known to be kind of a voracious woman... Never depicted in a sexual light? Why is Jean just Kind of a Sad Bitch until she dies, and Kitty is another sad bitch who is drunk in BASICALLY. EVERY. SCENE and like, hating being a mom and little else? And like, Kitty was a known alcoholic who struggled with motherhood and had a volatile relationship with her husband. But lol, with all the fucking run time this movie had, you could've given more time to making Jean and Kitty seem like people versus thorns in his side, while keeping them flawed. Just like you could've mentioned more about the OTHER dark side of Los Alamos.

Also, one of the best scenes of the movie was in fact Oppenheimer crying in a forest over his dead mistress while his drunk wife rides up on a horse (I assume they don't let her drive a car because she literally can't drop her purse without a flask falling out of it) and is like "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN". It would've been even better if these emotional bonds had been better cemented. Same with the scene where Kitty stepped up during the interrogation and went "THAT'S MY MAN RIGHT OR WRONG. AND MAYBE I WAS A COMMUNIST IDK I WAS DRUNK."

And let's be fucking real, there are so many things about this movie that filmbros would nitpick if it wasn't Nolan. Einstein appearing out of the shadows randomly in the middle of the night in his cozy sweater to be like "shit bro, sucks that they're Red Scare-ing you". The moment in the end where they were like "and a junior senator from MASSACHUSETS didn't like what you did to Oppy" and I held my breath and went "oh my God" and they went "... and that senator? JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY". The "read The Line You'll Say Later When the Bomb Blows Up Right Now When You're About the Blow Up Inside Me" moment. That shit is so cliche, and I don't mind (most of) it in theory, but if ANYONE ELSE did it, they would be getting dragged, and if this movie was made for people other than white guys, it would be getting dragged, but because it's Nolan, it's fine.

So those are my Oppenheimer thoughts.

My thoughts on Barbie are less complex. I think it was a better movie; I think Ryan Gosling absolutely deserves an Oscar nom; I laughed a LOT. It didn't change my life or tell me things I didn't already know, but I didn't need it to. I think the visuals were great, the costume/set/production designers really came the fuck through.

I will say lol.... I do think you can see where Greta was toned down, because Greta is a very white feminist filmmaker. And honestly, she needs a tempering hand. I think this is probably my favorite work of hers aside from Little Women, which also had a tempering hand. Like, in this case, I think that having a surface level understanding of feminism and patriarchy works for a movie like this. Because while the movie is satire, it's also extreme capitalism, and it kind of goes without saying that it can't go beyond surface level.

I think there is something to be said about like... the reality of Barbie versus what this movie was selling as Barbie, and there is something so interesting about the movie both acknowledging that and totally sidestepping it. Like, that's some fascinating shit, when you really think about it.

I would've preferred a movie where Ken and Barbie fell in love, but I guess I'm just a bad feminist (lol and I had no expectation that the movie would have them fall in love walking in--I'd pretty much figured out the plot before I began the film). I also think that the movie didn't fully make me understand why Barbie wanted to be a human, at all. Like, the human world honestly sucks balls (not in a fun way), and it felt like Barbieland was more actualized and real at the end, so. Why leave. Why would ANYONE leave. If I was America Ferrera, I would pack up my dorky husband and daughter and stay there.

I did love the mother/daughter themes; I loved the "you're so beautiful" moment. I loved the Ken War. I was surprised by how it was acknowledged that women being expected to be everything was Bad, Actually and maybe we do just wanna fucking chill the fuck out and some of us want to do nothing and be moms.

So like, I have Intellectual Critiques of Barbie, but to be clear, I did have a great time and I did laugh throughout and the theater was really fun and I want to see it again. It was a totally enjoyable experience, and I think that movie is going to stay in minds and stand the test of time and be something people watch with the future generations.

But. Lol. They Cloned Tyrone was better than either of them.

[fyodior]

Hey Flora!! I absolutely love matchups so I wanted to give this a try!

Nickname: Ai Mbti: ESTP Pronouns: She/Her

Basic Info: I work in graphic design, my jobs pretty flexible, so I stay home quite frequently during work hours.

Appearance: I’m pretty tall, about 6’1. I have long black hair, really dark brown eyes, and pale skin.

Personality: I’d consider myself a relatively smart person- especially when it comes to people. I try to analyze everyone around me, it helps me talk to them in a way were it’s more possible I’ll get the outcome I want (If that makes any sense-) People call me manipulative and hey, maybe I am, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I’m kind of stubborn, if I don’t wanna do something unnecessary, I’m not gonna bother. I’m sorry this is really bad, I can’t really describe myself flat out so I’ll try to elaborate on it more in other ways 😭

Likes: Drama, ever since I was little I always liked knowing everything about everyone (I was a fucking menace as a kid 😰) Debates, sure, some instances could be considered arguments but they’re still entertaining— if I’m passionate about an opinion, I WILL fight to the death about it. Music, I can’t even focus w/o listening to music, I always carry my headphones with me. Horror, again, ever since I was kid, I’ve always been into horror. I could ramble about Junji Ito’s work (*cough* The Enigma of Amigara Fault *cough*) all day long. Cussing people out, not sure why, it’s just fucking hilarious. Pulling allnighters. Spiders, used to bring in these massive orb weavers into my house as a kid and let them live in my room.

Dislikes: Being dominated, any context, I do not like it. Being told to shut up, I swear to god I can deck you in the face and will if you don’t let me ramble about the random nonsense I enjoy. Overly sensitive people. I cannot stand people who go off crying every 5 minutes. Harry Styles. I fucking hate Harry Styles. I don’t actually have many things I genuinely dislike tbh-

Nsfw: why not

Characters I don’t want to be paired with: Mori

ai x ango

first off -- sorry this took me so long!! im hoping its better late than never ♡

✎ i rly feel like this is the perfect match for u

✎ the general vibes i am picking up are: intelligent (emotionally and academically), straightforward, passionate, analytical. very virgo

✎ this is essentially ango in a nutshell too pfffff

✎ i think its less manipulation and more being confident in knowing what you want and how to get it. also very ango. he would have immense respect for this/for you and you drive and decisiveness as a person

✎ i feel like ango can tend to act a bit high and mighty, but he would see you entirely as an equal. you match him in intellect and commitment to a cause.

✎ you are both very fact-driven, and less so emotionally driven. you'd often see eye to eye on a lot of topics, just because you come at them with the same viewpoint/attitude

✎ re: also strongly dislikes overly emotional people who are incredibly sensitive and reactive

✎ on the flip side this man is messy as fuck and so is a drama queen bfdkfjdfkj he will gossip with you and get nosy he loves it

✎ he can come off as cold/distant and self-serving, but in private he is far from it. he would gladly listen to you essentially present dissertations on whatever topic has caught your attention recently, or

✎ i see him as a very gentle lover. would never ever make you feel like anything other than his equal whom he loves and respects, and wants to treat you as such. he's the type you can just sit in comfortable silence with, not feeling any obligation to "entertain" the other.

✎ gentle lover continued: he's very thoughtful and in tune with your wants and needs, as he is also incredibly analytical and reads people very well. he can tell when you're having a shit day and will quietly bring you your comfort food/drink or just put on some music for you and leave you alone if that's what you want. he wouldn't bother the shit out of you to talk it out with him or whatever pffff he knows you'll communicate when and how you want.

✎ nsfw: i see ango as not necessarily vanilla, but appreciates simpler things. he LOVES seeing you in lingerie, especially something he picked out for you. riding him wearing a lacy black set of bra and panties pushed to the side- mf will last approximately 5 minutes fdkfjkdf but don't worry he will eat you out/finger you to your hearts content and come as many times as he can pull out of you teehee

✎ ango does not mind being the dominated one in the relationship sexually bfdkfjdbd i see this man being so pathetic and whiny in bed and will totally let you fuck him up pls

✎ i guess what im trying to say is that the two of you would coexist very well, and view/approach life very similarly. perfect match imo :)

[xamaxenta]

Nother left field memory that sucker punched me out of no where under cut bc idk i want to get it out somewhere but ill hide it bc im still ashamed of it even tho i have nothing to be ashamed of

I dont know how to describe it but i was a very nervous child with alot of academic stress with the bonus of nuclear parents breathing down my neck to ensure i was the normal kid that made them look good, i am pretty sure the year i got bad grades, like my report card came back , i was terrified of what my parents were going to say to me i experienced some sort stress anxiety hallucination where I was convinced i had watched a man jump from a building to his death

sincerely convinced it was real, the sound, the screaming

So convinced i ended up calling my mom to pick me up from the next block over sobbing and everything, like she genuinely thought something had happened to me, kind of fucked up that this was the nicest she probably ever was to me

But not for long, turns out after a few days, my dad had gone to the local police dpt and inquired if anything like this had happened

WHY he did this i wont understand, like?? What was he gonna do if it was real? Go tell the family off for scaring his kid??? Baffles me lol

But he was angry with me like youre a liar? Why did you lie about something like this ? You can go to jail for being a liar like super intimidating voice raised interrogation kind of shit

Was twelve btw. Idk how to express myself or begin explain that it felt real but deep down i knew after i calmed down it wasnt because someone mustve seen it not just me etc, logically deep down i knew it hadnt been real but at the time of whatever that was it did feel and look and sound real

I didnt want to be punished for lying so i stubbornly stuck to “what i saw”

My parents didnt pause to consider that i may have needed to see a psych or smthing lol they just kept bringing this “episode” up at random times for the rest of the year and getting frustrated and angrywhen i kept telling them the same answer i know what i saw im not a liar

I know the events werent true thankfully but something about my parents totally ignoring the fact that i had been experiencing something really intense (regarding. My fear of failure and their aggressive reaction to that failure) made me want to continue “lying” to them because i wasnt able to safely tell them maybe i needed help because they wouldnt have believed me

They still got angry at me for my bad grades though

[youuuimeanmee]

RWTGI 34 Thoughts

😆🥰🤗 I've been waiting for Kirishima's past to be translated since forever 😭😭Now I can FINALLY talk about this chapter wkdbjsnsjsjk

Out of all the mysteries presented in this series (the hell's up with Suo Azami, Renji, Yoshino's parents, the brewing yakuza civil war), Kirishima's past is one thing that hyped me up the most; mostly because I've been dying to know the background this insane yet lovable(?) ML lololol.

⚠️ Though the title is Ch 34's Thoughts, I actually started it from ch 33. If you haven't read it then what are you doing here, go to MangaDex if you don't wanna get spoiled here.

⚠️⚠️TW; Bullying, Abuse, Self H4rm, yk how Kirishima is.

👏 Okay! So!

We FINALLY get to see Kirishima's rich ass mommy and daddy 🥳🥳🥳

(tho they don't have a face, I'll take it)

Looks like the parents are busy people, they missed the fact that their son is not normal since birth. That, or Kirishima is just damn good at hiding it. Maybe both.

"My 2 classmates are fighting over irrelevant things. Solution? Erase the thing without anyone knowing. No more things to fight, problem solved 🙂"

He has a shrewd moral compass, I have a feeling he was being genuine when he "helped" his classmates. Aww my cute baby gremlin.

Or if he wasn't being 100% genuine, maybe he tore up the cards to surpress his urges for violence, to ease the boredom he felt because he couldn't feel anything while living in a normal, peaceful life.

The parents slowly realize the abnormal blood that's been there since Gaku era has never disappear from their family.

Since Gaku is the black sheep of the family, Kirishima's dad prob thought: 'Oh fuck this is uncle all over again. No wait I can do this. He already released his energy using a good outlet (karate), he just needs to surround himself with good people. Friends, yeah. The school we picked is the best; surely there's no bad influence that's gonna taint my son. No more psycho #2.' Umm, I hate to break it to you, but daddy-

Ironically, the dad might be the first person who gave him insight about the feeling of having fun by being with a friend. Up until that point, he probably didn't know the feeling he felt when he did the karate. He did it many times, and the dad claimed he liked it, but he never registered it as 'liking something' until it was pointed out to him.

(just like when kirishima threw daggers at yoshino's back until she pointed out he might be jealous of Shoma and he got a little 'ahh that explains it' moment.)

Aww look at that probing eyes, trying to search the answer of his boredom from his dad 🥺

Let's be real Kirishima could really use a proper diagnosis and therapy back then, even right now.

The smile of a child who has found the spark of his life:

LMAO seriously, he smiles because Kodaka can kick hard. The more pleasure (read: pain) he gets from other people, the more he's gonna seek it.

But Kodaka is still weaker than him, so the pleasure ends quickly.

Enter Otogawa.

She's cute. Sweet. More importantly, she's important enough to trigger Kodaka.

She told him all he needed to know about Kodaka. Great in academics, gyms, and karate. Secretly violent too. Just like himself.

"He's just like me, so we matched right? We can be friends! 😃"

Kirishima be like: FUCK YES MORE FRIENDS TO FUCK.

Remember in ch 25.2 when Kirishima told Yoshino he once formed a "friendship plan" that went down the drain?

Whelp, looks like Kodaka is that "friend." We all know how that ends, tho.

Anyways.

Thus, began Kirishima's scheme to ✨️nurture✨️ Kodaka into a person who could kick him harder & also strong enough to not break easily. He befriended (read: flirted) with his crush, lured him into a desolate place, provoked him, stayed docile & easy to kick, yadda yadda.

Really an elaborate plan for someone his age, it's almost cute.

This moment of Kirishima and concealer really highlights his cleverness since he was a kid. If he buys a concealer for his bruise, it's too pricey for his budget. Parents will question unnecessarily if he were caught buying it. Solution? Pretend to return the high schooler's money (even though it's his own) so they'd do the makeup for him. Bruise covered, money covered, no one's gonna know ☺️ Little manipulative shit.

I was gonna feel sorry for him for getting beaten up, but then his innocent, excited smile turned me off so quick. Ugh.

(This is prob the beginning of his exploration to find new "fun" stuff to try. Like choking himself, for example.)

Kirishima is a pathological liar huh. Saying his birthday is in September even though it's in November. This really adds weight to his words earlier that he only revealed his true birthday to Yoshino 🥺🥲

Kirishima's plan to nurture Kodaka is going smoothly in this chapter. Maintaining good relationship with Otogawa, making him jealous and all that.

I bet bringing a 10,000 yen bill is part of the plan too, because kids need the motivation to keep coming back to him. Extorting a broke student is boring afterall.

It's been 300 days since Kodaka had beaten him up? Um. Excuse me what the fuck. With that many injuries, Where are his parents??? Did he ever get questioned at all?? Is Kirishima just that good at lying?? I'm sorry, but I also smell neglection. Intentionally or not.

Moving on, Kirishima is damn good huh. His fights like an adult, prob even better than some yakuza. He's 12. Let that sink in.

(should've seen it coming tbh, but it still surprises me.)

I wanna say he's so disgusting when he ripped the poor dude's ear (where on earth did he learn that?), but he's also my son, so...

Also, the art is so clean. My eyes is blessed, thank you Konishi.

I'm running out of gas. Yeah that's all for today! See you next time 👋

[indigovigilance]

Thanks to @gallup24 for the tag. You probably tagged me because you follow Give Me Death in a Big Cup, which is my publication-in-progress on Ao3, and that makes you think I have something helpful to offer. You're wrong, but I'll try anyways.

So like OP, I'm a quintessential academic. A master of the multiple-choice test. Rigid structure, rubrics, all that bullshit.

However I'm also trans so that tells you something about my attitude towards blind conformity to rules in a more general sort of way.

I have no formal training in storytelling, and I have somewhat avoided seeking it out. I just read a lot of fucking books when I was young. I watched a creative writing series on YouTube by Brandon Sanderson a couple years ago when I was working on a novel (which isn't even on Ao3 that's how bad it is). I did take away some helpful tidbits. But I heard from a friend who did a degree in creative writing that after that, he only ever saw his stories in terms of things he learned in class, not the emotions he wanted to convey. Formal training ruined him as a writer so I said "fuck that shit" and just started writing. When I tried to write an entire novel that way, initially, it was a disaster. Cutting my teeth on short stories has turned out to be a much more positive experience.

I do a LOT of outlining because I have to. It's just a bullet list of scenes that I cross out as I write them. Here's an example:

Ezra returns from Bonfire night, tells Muriel that Crowley is coming to London in a few weeks. Muriel brings up that Crowley could stay over, and maybe Eric, sometimes, too. Ezra says no to Crowley staying over, but says yes, Eric should come to dinner, it’s high time he got to know Muriel’s caller

Ezra is chatting with Nina, brings up that Muriel wanted Eric to come to dinner. Nina redirects, brings up the possibility that Muriel is sexually active. Ezra handles it surprisingly well.

The dinner happens.

Ezra starts a conversation with Muriel, brings up safe sex, says that even if he didn’t like Eric, it’s their home, they can bring whoever they want. Muriel says the same thing but about Crowley. Ezra brushes it off, but then thinks about it some more.

Crowley comes to London, takes Muriel with him to UCL.

Eric comes to pick up Muriel for their date. Crowley mentions that they should probably get going too. Muriel suggests that they stay the night, they can always leave in the morning, if they want. Muriel doesn't wait for a response and leaves.

Crowley and Ezra discuss it, then decide to stay the night.

For outlining, I will frequently build it out order. For the above riff, I knew I needed to make it to the end bit where Muriel says "it's okay for Crowley to stay the night at our house" and I also knew that I wanted to broach the topic of Ezra being a supportive father that makes sure his kid is practicing safe sex. I also knew these beats had to be co-temporal in the storyline so the trick was tying them together. Nina was a useful tool in that, because I've written her as the kind of person to read between the lines on Ezra's behalf, then just tell him what to do. It feels like cheating but it works.

The first chapter of Give Me Death in a Big Cup was a stand-alone. Then someone subscribed. But luckily I had already had a clear idea of who my characters were (anxious Ezra, clever Crowley, nosy Nina, and unexpectedly insightful Muriel: Eric got fleshed out later) and where the story would have gone if I'd intended to continue it, which helped me write a good stand-alone.

As soon as I knew I was going to continue the story, I wrote the ending. It's sitting in a folder and will not see the light of day until a few months from now when everything leading up to it has been published. All that was left to do was figure out the middle bit, and what kind of story would carry my characters from where they were (timid Ezra, unconfident Muriel, suspicious Crowley) to where I want them to eventually be (securely attached, confident, trusting).

But Book 1 (of an anticipated 4) was still a very meandering 74k with no clear plot other than "make the blorbos kiss, muah-muah-muah." Book 2 is shaping up to be much more plot driven, and Book 3 definitely will be. I'm getting better as I go along. I have to give myself grace and not cringe at my first four chapters, recognize the growing pains, and just keep writing.

Here's all I know about story-telling, and that's arcs. I'm good at the beginning and end but that middle bit, the tension that must be resolved or the challenge to be overcome, is where the story actually happens. Just focusing on that aspect of arcing, "what is the source of tension that's going to force my character to face one of their shortcomings and overcome it," is pretty much my guiding principle of writing. Actually, one of my earliest and shortest bits is a great example of this. The entire arc is just a conversation, but I think it's easy to follow the before-middle-after of it.

You mentioned "how much coincidence can I get away with."

ALL OF IT.

You'll notice in sitcoms and movies that the doorbell always rings at the perfect moment. Not in the middle of a conversation we need to hear, not minutes later. Always at the perfect moment. That's not real life, but that is good story-telling because your reader doesn't want to sit around waiting for the doorbell to ring. You're writing fiction and your readers know it. They have gifted you their suspension of disbelief. Accept that gift.

I don't know if any of this constituted advice but here's my advice: learn by doing. Recall that people were writing stories long before the mechanics of story-writing were formalized into a pedagogy. You, as a human, came pre-packaged with the tools you need to tell a good story. Stop looking for a teacher to tell you what to do. This isn't a class, this is being alive. Break free from the golden cage and fly, little bird.

Also get a beta-editor because they are just the absolute best for keeping you motivated. Because if there is one thing a writer wants, it is a reader.

But yeah also feel free to DM me anytime and if you like I can give you access to some of my WIP docs so you can see my process.

Not sure where to ask this since I’m still rather new to tumblr outside of interacting in one fandom, but I have a couple questions for writers.

I studied visual art in college four years ago now and over the past year I really regret not studying creative writing instead because I’ve had story ideas in my head but I just don’t know where to start with outlining a written story. Maybe it’s due to the structure I had in school and the emphasis academia gives on having to know the history, concepts, terms, context, etc in order to create art, but now I feel completely lost on how to learn this new medium (literature).

I read a lot and try to analyze the stories in cinema as well. But I’m just curious if any self-taught writers have advice for someone who’s used to structure and learning things in terminology and concept and steps, rather than the more natural “consuming literature teaches you how to write it” way I imagine a lot of writers have learned?

Like when I try to write my ideas, I get stuck wondering how to begin to properly outline the story structure, and set things up in scenes. Then I go down rabbit holes like “how much coincidence is permitted in a story and when”, looking up literary terms that lead to more and just send me further into the pit.

Are there any resources or books that helped you think about story building and outlining critically? Are there any programs that help with setting up the scenes and outline? Any resources on prose and lesser known literary devices, witticism, things like that? Because currently I only discover literary terms on accident through Wikipedia and there has to be a better way to learn