#like super Viking vibes

[levi-my-beloved]

okay i’m high as fuck but having my work bestie named Levi as also my anime husband named Levi is really fucking with my head

[dndspellgifs]

look, I know I've talked about this essay (?) before but like,

If you ever needed a good demonstration of the quote "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic", have I got an exercise for you.

Somebody made a small article explaining the basics of atomic theory but it's written in Anglish. Anglish is basically a made-up version of English where they remove any elements (words, prefixes, etc) that were originally borrowed from romance languages like french and latin, as well as greek and other foreign loanwords, keeping only those of germanic origin.

What happens is an english which is for the most part intelligible, but since a lot everyday english, and especially the scientific vocabulary, has has heavy latin and greek influence, they have to make up new words from the existing germanic-english vocabulary. For me it kind of reads super viking-ey.

Anyway when you read this article on atomic theory, in Anglish called Uncleftish Beholding, you get this text which kind of reads like a fantasy novel. Like in my mind it feels like it recontextualizes advanced scientific concepts to explain it to a viking audience from ancient times.

Even though you're familiar with the scientific ideas, because it bypasses the normal language we use for these concepts, you get a chance to examine these ideas as if you were a visitor from another civilization - and guess what, it does feel like it's about magic. It has a mythical quality to it, like it feels like a book about magic written during viking times. For me this has the same vibe as reading deep magic lore from a Robert Jordan book.

[oosleepyfaeoo]

A Kiss Is All I Need

Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Chapter Two

Summary: 2 months ago, Alys, the love of his life, broke up with him. Their relationship of five years gone by a simple farewell note that she left on their, well now his, penthouse. 2 months crying and feeling like shit but that all stopped when he meet you on that dreadful clothing store.

Warnings: Nothing much yet, just little fluff.

Words: 1,167

Masterlist / Series Masterlist

Taglist: @zenka69 @cryptid-l0ver @saelwen-shy-elf @aemondsdelight @shari-berri @kckt88 @watercolorskyy @dae7tina @saturnssrings @dixie-elocin @arabis-world @tulips2715 @reedmurdock @ladythornofrivia @tssf-imagines @eeeeeevesstuff @venmondiese @bellaisasleep @darylandbethfanforever9 @snh96 @liv-cole

Aemond took a deep breath as he stood in front of your bakery. ‘The Faun Cottage’ was the name of your store. The display window was decorated with beautiful green leaves and antique books which served to hold cakes and baskets of bread.

He was dressed in a light white shirt with a leather jacket, black jeans, and super comfortable Doctor Martens, which he wears almost every day. His long hair was tied in a low ponytail.

Looking down at the watch on his wrists, he saw it was 2 pm already. “Here goes nothing,” he murmurs as he walks into the bakery. “You better be right, Aegon.”

The scent of fresh bread and coffee along with a sweet herbal smell hit his nose like a train. Inside the shop, it was warm and cozy. Green vines are climbing the walls into the ceiling and some ancient runes are painted on the stone walls which looks like a mix of cottage core with Celtic/Viking vibe. A faint medieval music played in the background. It looks like something from an ancient era.

There are some people seated eating their food, others reading or working while drinking their tea or coffee.

“Mommy! Mommy! My Prince is here!” Emily’s voice echoed through the shop, grabbing his attention. This time she was dressed in a simple brown dress with some hand-painted runes on it. Her black hair was braided, and two small antlers rested on her head.

Aemond smiles down at her and kneels to shake her tiny hand. “Hello, Emily.” He greets her gently. “And what do you suppose to be today?”

She gives him a little twirl and grins. “I’m a druid! I talk to animals and cure people's booboos with my magic!” The girl grabs his hand and pulls him towards the door behind the counter, saying a quick hello to the guy who was attending to a client.

Aemond chuckles and lets the girl guide him. “Hmm, I see.”

Emily opens the door and leads him inside. It was an office by the looks and by the desk full of papers and a laptop, stood a very stressed woman.

“Mommy! Look who’s here!” Emily chirps happily.

You looked up from your papers and gave him a tired smile. “Aemond... I’m happy to see you. Please take a seat.” You try to make your office table more presentable, putting all the paperwork in cases. “Sorry for the mess. It’s been a busy day. Maria needed the day off so I took over her work and... it didn’t go well.”

Aemond sat on the wooden chair in front of you while Emily went to the corner to play with her plush animals. “It’s no problem... Here’s my papers, all the training I did.” He gives you the case. “By the way, you have a lovely bakery. Very creative.”

The grin you gave him made Aemond’s heart almost burst out of his chest. Your eyes brightened at his compliment and how the dimples on your cheeks made you look so cute and innocent.

“Thank you! It was a lot of work to make it the way I imagined but it was worth it.” You say taking a seat on your chair. “So, shall we start with the interview?”

Aemond nods.

“Okay! So, your brother said you had experience with children. Your nephews, right?” Aemond nods again.

“Yes, my sister's children. Twins, a girl, Jaehaera, and a boy, Jaehaerys, of 8 years old, and toddler of 2 years old, Maelor.” Aemond smiled gently at the thought of his nephews.

You took notice of his gentleness as he talked about his nephews, which made you feel more relaxed with the idea of him taking care of Emily.

“They all have beautiful names.” You speak. “I’m not going to lie but it seems you are perfect for Emily. You have basic first aid training and CPR certifications.” You look down and read his papers. “Also, it seems Emily is already attached to you.”

You nod towards your daughter, who has her gaze fixed on Aemond while she plays. Aemond grinned at her which made the girl giggle and run towards him, showing him her favorite plush animal.

You pull up the documents for him to sign and put them in front of him. “It seems you got the job! You can read the agreement and then sign down here.” You smile. “I drive her to her school every morning. So, 3 pm you can go pick her up and she is all yours until 7 pm when I get home.”

Aemond nods and signs the paper. Opening the drawer beside you, you take a small notebook along with a key.

“Here.” You give him the book and key. “In here you will find all her allergies, her school, and our apartment address. That’s the key to our home.”

Aemond takes the book and the key from you, his pale fingers brushing gently against yours. “Thank you, Y/n.”

The way your name rolled through his tongue made your loins curl in a familiar feeling. You cough and look down to your laptop, a faint blush adorns your cheeks. Get a grip, Y/n!

There’s a small pregnant silence between you too. Aemond admires the way your face flushes so easily. Even tired, you look beautiful.

“Huh... Well! Ready for your first day?” You stand up and smile, trying to end the awkward silence.

Aemond also stood up, looking down at a very excited Emily. “Ready as I can be.” He gently grabs the girl's hand while putting her backpack on his shoulder and walks out of the office with you following close behind.

You kneel and give a big kiss on your daughter's cheek, making her giggle excitedly. “Have fun and behave.”

“Yes, mommy.” She grins and kisses your nose.

As you stand up, Aemond quickly pulls his wallet out and takes his business card. “I completely forgot to you give my card.” He says with an apologetic gaze. “My phone number is there in case you need something.”

You nod and take his business card. Emily pulls Aemond’s hand and jumps up and down. “Can I have an ice cream on our way home? Pretty please?”

Aemond looks in panic at you to which you laugh. “Yes, but only this time. Alright?”

“Yippe!” Your daughter squeals happily and pulls Aemond’s hand again. “C’mon! C’mon! Let’s go!” Aemond chuckles and lets the girl guide him while waving a small goodbye at you.

You waved back and watched them turn around the block, disappearing out of sight. You feel tears stinging in the corner of your eyes, the feeling of your daughter's absence drives you to panic.

“Deep breath, Y/n.” You whisper to yourself. “She’s going to be okay.”

Taking a deep breath, you look down at the business card in your hand. Your eyes widen as you see a familiar red logo. A three-headed dragon.

“Wait! He’s THE Aemond Targaryen??!!”  

I hope you guys like this chapter!! Feel free to like, comment or reblog!

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Greta Garbo (Camille, Anna Karenina, Queen Christina)—Enigmatic and alluring and made me bisexual. The perfect example of the eroticism in silent films that literally transcends text. Could literally not change anything about her expression but you knew by looking at her eyes what she was thinking. She’s so gorgeous.

Kay Francis (Jewel Robbery, I Loved A Woman, British Agent)— kay francis was an icon of glamor in her time and a top star of the 30s - she was the highest-paid actress at warner bros from 1930 to 1936. she tended to play characters who were charming, sophisticated, and elegantly dressed, and starred in at least one legitimate masterpiece, the sublime 1932 comedy trouble in paradise. her first big role was in the marx brothers movie the cocoanuts in 1929, and she and william powell made seven movies together between 1930 and 1932. even in her sillier movies she always elevates the material with her charm and presence - she never phones it in and there’s a sort of warm, knowing wittiness about her. a really good short promo from a retrospective of her movies that i think really gets her Vibe across

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Kay Francis:

Jewel Robbery clip

"From 1932 through 1936, Francis was the queen of the Warner Bros. lot, and, increasingly, her films were developed as star vehicles. By 1935, Francis was one of the highest-paid actors, earning a yearly salary of $115,000, dwarfing the $18,000 Bette Davis – who would one day occupy Francis's dressing room – made. From 1930 to 1937, Francis appeared on the covers of 38 film magazines, second only to child sensation Shirley Temple's 138." Source: Wikipedia. Kay Francis is like the MOST FAMOUS Actress from the 1930s you've never heard of--and it was her and Norma Shearer who wore and made classic the 1930s tall, slim, bias cut silhouette. She ALSO has a WHOLE PODCAST episode devoted to her life and career in Hollywood--it's fascinating! She is both tough and a total wet cat.

One of the TALLEST Warner Brother stars at 5’9” and known as a “clothes horse” for her glamorous roles wearing the height of 1930s fashion. She fell out of popularity in the 40s, but her 30s work sizzles. The scene with her and Herbert Marshall in Trouble in Paradise where she says she doesn’t care about his reputation (because she’d rather sleep with him?) HAWOOGA

melted my gay heart with her butch look in stolen holiday

"My life? Well, I get up at a quarter to six in the morning if I'm going to wear an evening dress on camera. That sentence sounds a little ga-ga, doesn't it? But never mind, that's my life ... As long as they pay me my salary, they can give me a broom and I'll sweep the stage. I don't give a damn. I want the money ... When I die, I want to be cremated so that no sign of my existence is left on this earth. I can't wait to be forgotten." —From Kay Francis's private diaries, c. 1938

Garbo:

A cold-ass Swedish WLW Sphinx. Had plans to murder Hitler that she never got around to. "She will remain always a child of vikings, moved about by a snowy dream."

First of all, she's on the money; that's how much of a treasure she is. She's beautiful in such a distinct way you need very few lines to draw her. (Drawing by Einar Nerman) She managed to be mesmerizing in both silent and sound films. She kissed a woman in Queen Christina (and probably several more in real life). She was super dry and really funny in Ninotchka. She got the hell out of Hollywood and stayed out, living for almost 50 years after her retirement.

Garbo is one of the many reasons why I'm gay. If you haven't seen Queen Christina please do, She is so gender in that film. Also her accent makes it sound like she's always talking in cursive and it's so hypnotic (or at least I think so).

She's a gay introvert, like all of us here on Tumblr.

Mysterious and aloof, charismatic and enigmatic, with beautiful androgynous characteristics, Garbo is undoubtedly the most eccentric and unique Hollywood vintage star. Her aversion to fame and stardom makes her even more desirable to the audience, and her insane chemistry with the camera, an actress one of a kind! Her particularity and her oddity is what discerns her strongly from her hollywood co workers at the time, noone was like her and would never be like her. I think, to the utmost extent, that she deserves the title of the hottest vintage star, even though that would be an understatement of what she is!

SO gorgeous, her thick Swedish accent makes will turn your brain into pudding

Probabaly a lesbian, absolutely a mood when she retired

[ceilidho]

im tryna write viking soap!!!! tips for writing soap? hes such a strange fella and i really enjoy your characterization of him

I have two competing versions of him in my head, one that’s a bit more serious (see: my fic Saltwater) and one that’s a bit more self-indulgent (I still feel like it has some veracity, like I try to tie anything I write to the canon characterization, but it’s definitely mostly because I’m a freak and this version of him makes me h***y)

In my head, Soap is very charming and smooth talking. He’s got a real lightness to him, like very class clown vibes, but when someone finally manages to hurt his feelings, he’s known to sulk and mope for a good long while. His feelings can be deeply bruised, but it takes awhile to get to that point because usually he just shrugs things off.

I feel like he’s got a real problem respecting authority lmao. In the games, he’s WAY too familiar with his COs for being a sergeant. He almost fully made the executive decision to kill Makarov despite his captain yelling at him to back down, and he actually really respects Price. You know he’s incredibly good at his job because that behaviour would not fly if he were at all expendable. He does follow orders, obviously, but you can see that he has a lot of resistance to just immediately acquiescing.

When he finds the people he respects and admires though, he sticks to them like glue. Soap is an incredibly loyal person in my head, like could never be bought off or blackmailed into betraying his chosen people. You could even take this to the extreme if he’s pledged his loyalty to the wrong person, but he’ll go to hell and back for someone he cares for. (I think this is one of my more realistic traits for him, but I love warping this when I write Soap as a bit more unhinged; he’s possessive and will not let go, will not move on)

I also feel like he has a very unpredictable temper, like you don’t know what’s going to set him off. You could be yelling at him and calling him names and he’d just smirk and enjoy it, or you could mumble a little snarky comment under your breath out of frustration and it would set him off. Impossible to predict how he’s going to react. He doesn’t appreciate being insulted or patronized and little comments can hurt his pride.

Super horny. Crazy sex drive. This is my most self-indulgent characterization lmao but in my head he’s just always ready, like he has a hair trigger. Absolutely obsessed with pussy (and dick). Massive oral fixation, loves to have things in his mouth. Bordering on submissive in bed, but with a partner smaller than him, he kinda goes a bit crazy and ravenous and likes to pin them under him. He’s also the kind of guy that’ll do anything once, if he hasn’t tried it.

[duran-duran-less-official]

(That's an image of a previous post in which I started my search)

Alright, full disclosure, I made a new friend who's writing a historical fantasy story about lesbian Vikings in Ireland. I'm super into it.

Originally my plan was simply to give her a custom ringtone, since we call each other to talk a lot, particularly about the story, and also we've both agreed that "Lesbian Scarborough Fair" would 100% fit the vibe it's going for. And yet... there are no such versions of the song that I can find. So many ethereally beautiful women, so many ethereally beautiful voices... and all they can sing about is men. I'm flattered on behalf of my gender, truly, but it's not what I'm looking for.

So I figure, Lesbian Scarborough Fair is something that needs to exist, not just for my sake, but for everyone's. I'm Blazing this post because I'm willing to pay to conjure this song into existence. I am not a lesbian myself and so I wouldn't be able to sing the part, so this is the next best thing.

Are there any WLW musicians out there who, like, take commissions? Who would be interested in doing a cover of Scarborough Fair where the subject and singer are both women? If the song exists I will buy it, if it doesn't I would happily pay someone to make it. I'm not exactly sure what the going rate for "pay someone to make a cover of a song" is, but if I can afford it, I will.

(Yeah I know this seems a bit excessive for a custom ringtone, but there's a part of my artistic soul which demands that this exist, and now we're in the time of year where I'm thinking about thoughtful presents for my friend, so... here I am.)

[kirk-says-wah]

𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬

is this three months worth of fic recs? Yes it is because I’m so bad at remembering to post 🫠

Also, if you suddenly just got a comment from me, it’s because I’ve been really terrible at leaving comments lately I apologise but putting this together reminded me to do it!

I also haven’t started any multi chaptered fics in a while because I just don’t have the time right now to get invested in them 😭 but hopefully once I’ve finished Don’t Cry and my halloween fic I’ll be able to start reading longer things 💕

Anyways, here you go!

Purgatory by @aimbuddylist

- an interesting fic where Dave and James see each other in rehab. Their relationship is so dynamic and interesting! I absolutely adore it!

Too Far Gone by @thenaughtynun

- ahhhh a devilishly good threesome between Dave, Lars and Daddy James 🥵

The Problem With Flying by @ju1ian

- Dave and James meet on a plane. Shenanigans ensue. Someone throws up on someone. I love it

I Need Your Love by @taracsacum

- beautiful fic about Kirk and James working things out and getting closer. It’s so sweet 😍

Quarter After One by @ride-the-hammett

- omg this fic has me in a chokehold! It’s just so good! And theres so much drama! 😍

Eat Me Alive by @n3wstxd

- robbery gone wrong, or maybe it went right? 😆 anyway this literally has the best line of smut I’ve ever read in it!

spotlights by nopeleafclover

- UFO HUNTING!!! The vibes are just immaculate and I feel like I’m being pulled along for the ride in James’ truck

Of Wolf And Man by @ju1ian

- serial killer AU!!!! This is written so well! The characterisations are just *chefs kiss*

Spine Of God by @msgwendolenfairfax

- demon Robert Plant!! This is just so good, of course it was Kirk that summoned a demon 😆 but it’s so interesting to see how the demon approaches each of the boys!

A Viking’s Prize by @thenaughtynun

- Lars captured by Jarl James! A battle for his love! A strong hardened James finally letting himself open up to Lars’ love? GIVE ME MORE!!!! This fic is so gorgeous and I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

Suspicious Of Your Touch by @2ooled

- very hot Dave/Lars sex, I just love Dave using Lars to get off 🥵

chomping at the bit by @gorehoundhammett

- I don’t even know what to say, this fic just left me speechless, in a good way of course! The writing is immaculate and it’s also very hot. I could read it forever and ever

It Started With A Kiss by @ride-the-hammett

- HOT KLARS SMUT 🚨🚨🚨 honestly this fic is so good at teasing you and then giving you everything you’ve been waiting for at the very end! I enjoyed this a lot!!

Movie Night by @n3wstxd

- very hot, drunken smut, with a funny ending! This was so good!

Not For All My Little Words by @aimbuddylist

- I think I actually needed a lie down after the latest chapter oh my god! The writing is so very good, and very detailed, and it just makes me want to bash James and Jason’s heads together 😆 a very very good fic, and grief is also written so beautifully!

What He Deserves by @dethtallica

- James can’t control himself when Jason walks around in tight pants and I don’t blame him! Super hot Jameson sex 😍

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

[spacenintendogs]

scale of 1 to 10 how buff is astrid in your off the coast au???

(for science purposes, of course)

dragonsoffthecoast!astrid infodump pretty please?? relationships with work, he gang, all of that tasty stuff :]

I CAN ABSOLUTELY INFODUMP ABT ASTRID!! (she's at least an 8 on the buffness scale)

i want astrid to have this body type (photo is of monica granda, who is a powerlifter!!!)

BUT to the main stuff abt ms astrid hofferson :)

general info

astrid picks her name to be astrid legally when she's around 12 :) she used that name as her "viking name" back when she & the gang were little kids playing vikings vs dragons. and since it's?? a rlly cool name. when she changed it from her dead name her parents let her pick & it was all she could think of. it means so much to her.

astrid in school, all school from elementary to college/uni, is a try hard. she is going to be valedictorian if it'll be the last thing she does. if she's not at least top 3 her eye is twitching. she is also very active in sports!! track & field is her JAM!!! esp once she's at uni she does lots of field stuff!! (discus, hammer, etc!!) and powerlifting!!

when she initially came out as trans it was a little rough with her parents (they were a bit distant at first) but they got over themselves & were super supportive as she transitioned :) that's their daughter!!!

she always is wearing her headband, it's yellow & blue to match stormfly's crown. tuff & snot made it for her.

relationships

stormfly is her girl, her best (dragon) friend!! <3 stormfly brings out astrid's playful side and is an excellent confidant for her. astrid is super protective of stormfly. stormfly is in the sanctuary due to having some part of her crown (the spines that stick out of her head) being cracked (they are very important for nadders!!!) and as she healed, astrid was her human. they also both tend to be the ones reigning their friends in (altho stormfly can get carried away when she plays sometimes!!)

hiccup (hirschel) is her best (human) friend. they grew apart when they were in middle school (as did the rest of the gang from hiccup) but in high school she was the first person he revealed toothless to & she (after being convinced to NOT tell any of their parents) did not take hiccup's trust in her lightly. it means a LOT to her. their dynamic is very much like how their friendship is in the shows esp. astrid can get in over her head with how strict she can be abt how to do literally anything & her frustration of others not doing what she would do & hiccup will just dryly vibe check her. she also bluntly (but gently) vibe checks him back (think "so why didn't you?" scene from httyd 1). she's his second in command at work and is in charge when he's not there. hiccstrid is a thing for this au and they do have feelings for each other when they're kids :)

fishlegs (justin) and astrid are super close!! when they're together they're basically the level-headed ones of the group. they bring out the responsible sides of each other lol!! they're each other's confidant and astrid can always rely on fishlegs to be honest (but kind) when she needs advice. they of course have their fun but they're who they go to when they need a moment of calm. astrid is also fishlegs' go to for tasting anything he creates because while she's not the best cook or anything herself, she can give her honest opinion. also they do yoga together!!! fishlegs helps astrid relax (which he understands the struggle of given the fact his resting heart rate is always registered as a panic attack /j). they just rlly appreciate each other.

snotlout (gary) and astrid's relationship should be obvious since that's the one i've posted abt the most but they've been at each other's throats since birth. as kids they were always arguing and it's no different when they're older lol. and obviously they eventually date for a brief period due to astrid developing feelings for him. they are genuine, from both parties, but it's not sustainable for them to stya together. outside of that part, they're still super close and while they will give each other shit the whole way through, they know each other better than anyone else, much to astrid's chagrin.

astrid's relationship with ruffnut (eugene) compared to others in the gang is more strained. astrid falls into a bad habit of treating ruff & tuff like a singular entity a lot of the time (which, in her mind is because one is not without the other and are always causing mayhem together) and this frustrates ruffnut, but ruffnut isn't as vocal as her brother until she feels like she needs to be. however, she does give astrid where credit is due. if only astrid could give her the same credit in return (don't worry, astrid will learn and they do grow closer when they're older, esp once they're in uni)

astrid's relationship with tuffnut (laverne) is similar to how she is with ruff in terms of her tending to act like tuff & ruff are a single entity and not two separate ppl with lots of overlapping interests and behaviors due to being twin siblings (ha. felt). tuff, out of the twin duo, is way more talkative than ruff and he is honestly, despite his snark, very sweet. he's more himself than anyone else in the gang and is the most comfortable in his own skin and astrid is sometimes jealous of him for it. he also is the one in the gang who makes her laugh the most with his silliness, but with how quickly he relays jokes, ofc she laughs more often :)

at work

at the hidden world, astrid is very no-nonsense and is particular abt her sections of the sanctuary, which are the sharp and tracker classes! she ends up with two classes due to the switch of nadders from sharp class to tracker class and she does the primary research for the new tracker class set of dragons!! she also does a lot fo the field work! she loves going out into the woods and helping keep track of dragons and then later help with new species :) she helps tag and track!!! her least favorite thing is sitting at the front desk and having to talk with visitors. she thinks she does alright at the job but hiccup says she "can be scary." but also when she's up front it's snotlout & the twin's favorite time to bother her to get her reactions lol. she's also in charge of making the schedules for everyone by her own decision bc she hates the way everyone else does the schedules.

always has stormfly on her shoulders <3

however once she's at uni her time at the sanctuary lessens, altho she does go back full time during summers! she does work a uni job while there, tho (just either at a coffee shop or smth). after she graduates she goes back to the sanctuary but tosses around the ideas of doing other things (despite what hiccup wants but. that's for them to discuss bc she shouldn't have to do what he wants) she even considers enlisting in the coast guard at some point but decides against it. the gang eventually travel across the country to help with more dragons as well as talk in interviews about dragon conservation & stuff & she becomes one of the main spokepeople :)

[monster-match-if]

Hiii, good morning. I have two questions but I think they can be answered in one, I hope. Hahaha

First, what do Ro's smell like? What scent would you say identifies them?

Second, do you have any description of their physique/body type in mind? Maybe some reference.

Obviously don't answer if you don't want to and take your time, have a nice day~😌

Hiii^^ thank you for the ask, you get a long answer :)) And hope you have a lovely day as well💕

First, what do Ro's smell like? What scent would you say identifies them? Morgan - naturally doesn’t have a scent (a predator thing), but likes rich fragrances, I picture Tom Ford perfumes like Black Orchid, Tobacco Vanilla or YSL Black Opium. Eli - freshly cut grass, rain. Doesn’t particularly do perfumes. Ragnar - powdery, woodsy impressions with fruity undertones. He sounds like an apple tree, lol :)) Blake - hell I mean jasmine and burning souls Kitai - cherry blossoms and vanilla. Fion - very cliche, but I always imagined they’d have a lingering scent of the beach and ocean. Like they’re always just coming out of the ocean and dried off on the beach, skin heated and a salty scent flowing all around them. Sei - no specific scent (cold blooded predator and all that) but he prefers fresh scents like eucalyptus, peppermint, citrus.

Second, do you have any description of their physique/body type in mind? Maybe some reference. I have like super, super vague references, but I think I ended up changing most of them from the original versions/ they look different now in my head. They’re all very fit, with Ragnar having a little beginner’s belly :)) and Kitai being on the leaner side.

Muscle mass Ragnar > Sei > Fin > Blake > Eli > Morgan > Kitai Juiciest booty: Blake (as long as probably biggest boobs for F Blake) I added some pics below for general vibes, but they are not entirely accurate and some of them are more inspo than actually body types.

Morgan - this lovely incestuous duo, but more modern and put together - classic vampire look.

Eli - My reference was drow mommy Minthara, lol. But Eli’s sweeter and not technically a drow. You can also have the Drow twins from BG3 as a general visual. But yes, both M and F versions are athletic, I think I mentioned “swimmer’s body” - muscled, but not overly so. You can also picture classic elf, I think - on the tall side, lean and not too muscular. Credit for the amazingly stunning Minthy picture to feyspeaker

Ragnar - this is the easiest, he looks the same as the original. My references were Big Nasty and Rollo from Vikings. He's sporting a little belly pouch from his new job as a chef :))

Bonus tattoos - the skull on the back, but more blacked out towards the edges and merging into the second picture for the neck and arm.

Blake - I got nothing :)) I think they suffered the most changes. For anyone playing Romance Club, I pictured the “demon” forms as the succubus/incubus in Soulless. Other than that, just the image I have in my head - runway model, deep brown skin in contrast with bright green eyes and bouncy black hair. M Blake is a bit stocky, F Blake is curvy. The pics are not exactly accurate, but the closest I could find.

Kitai - My theme was "Japanese yakuza looking, but make them actually a sweetheart".

Fion - my theme was ✨ Baywatch lifeguards✨ - but make them ginger and and a little boho. Dark crimson tentacles when in "true" form.

Sei - I basically saw the first pic and thought “Yes please, but make them male for the double D.” The second pic is the closest I could find that fits the body type.

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

timetraveling!Vikings + Christmas

Summary: how timetraveling Vikings would react to modern Christmas/what they enjoy/etc.

Tagged: @majesticwren @obsessiveformiyatwins @leithdragon @demon-of-the-ancient-world @alicedopey @ivarlover @levithestripper @batmandallyboy @akayxo09 @vrtualfairy (hmu to be added to any of my taglists!)

Masterlist | based on this request | requests are OPEN!

Ragnar

I think Ragnar likes modern christmas more than he should

He takes it like many non-christians do nowadays – fuck Christianity, i’m getting presents

Might let Athelstan drag him to church

Leaves midway tho

So bad at gift-giving that he accidentally gets you a great one

Lagertha

The BEST gift giver

Has a little table (after you show her how excel works, obvi) of the people she wants to get presents for and tracks their wishes over the course of a year

You need her at Christmas, actually

She doesn’t like the Christian part of it, but she likes the community it creates and GODDAMN Lagertha makes some good food

Athelstan

Vibes to church service HARD, even in modern times

Big enjoyer of WHAM! And Mariah Carey

Makes small, but very thoughtful gifts

Definitely always gets sick around Christmas and wears a bundle of scarves

Please don’t let him shave his head weirdly, or his brain will freeze

Bjorn

Doesn’t like Christmas

He came to the future, you have planes, let him use them

Spends his Christmas in warm places

Honestly, he might enjoy Aussie Christmas

Any excuse for beaches and bbq

Ubbe

If you want to stage a great Christmas celebration, go to Ubbe

Despite being from Viking times, he will be able to organise it better

He likes bringing people together for any occasion, and will be decorating the venue he chose like a PTA-mom with rabies (so, quintessentially, Ubbe)

Does not let snowy grounds stop him from playing football with friends/brothers

Hvitserk

LOVES Christmas

An endless supply of cookies and chocolate? Are you kidding??? The christians got something right?????

Eats everything you leave lying around

On time for everything during Christmas

Honestly, he gets hilarious gifts for everyone

Surprisingly good at singing christmas carols

Honestly, Hvitserk makes friends in all religions so his year of exquisite eating is just

Easter -> Eid -> Midsommar -> Thanksgiving -> Hannukah -> Christmas

Rinse and repeat baby

Sigurd

Spends the entire time critizising the compository value of christmas songs

Has an enemies to lovers arc with them

One day, soon after Christmas Eve, you will find a slightly drunk Sigurd in front of a karaoke machine with a thousand yard stare and the best interpretation of Last Christmas your ears will ever hear

Ivar

Christmas is a capitalist venture for the foolish designed by greedy christians

Totally does not buy super expensive gifts for his friends to brag

That Tesla outside your door? That’s not a Christmas gift silly, he’s sending you down the frozen road as a sacrifice to Odin so his bleeding ears might be saved from Sigurd

Does make an effort to put his mafia-ventures on hold for you though

He still hates Christmas

Floki

HATES CHRISTMAS. Floki hates Christmas so much. Did he already say he hates Christmas?

Hates it so much he secretly loves it.

‘Annoyed’ at Helga for baking cookies with you

‘Annoyed’ at the celebrations and people coming together

He secretly enjoys the non-Christian part of Christmas

But he just can’t get over the Jesus being born thing

Celebrates the part of Easter where he’s dead for a few days

Helga

Loves Christmas, and without shame

Turns into a cookie factory

Handmade gifts for everyone

Does a lot of charity/social work around Christmas

Enjoys ice-skating rinks as well

Tells Floki to stop moping around (he does)

[brandwhorestarscream]

What is your least favorite dragon from How to Train Your Dragon?

And how do you imagine a crossover/fusion/AU of the two franchises?

Honestly?? The only dragon I've truly disliked is the Light Fury. Like, I wouldn't say I love or vibe with all the species, but I can appreciate all the work and creativity that goes into making them. The vast majority of them are interesting, well thought out species, at the very least

And then there's the fucking Light Fury which is the laziest attempt at sexual dimorphism I've ever seen, and if someone is like "UM AKSHULLY the light fury is a completely different species" THEN WHY TF IS IT SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE WITH THE NIGHT FURY??? Granted, we don't know if their offspring are actually viable and capable of reproduction (as far as I know?), but assuming they are, it means they're the same species. Shut up, sit down, I don't wanna hear your bs excuses.

Sorry. I'm angry. I have a lot of feelings about the third movie and none of them are positive. Race to the Edge was the real continuation we deserved. Smh 😤

As for fusing HTTYD with transformers... I mean, Aligned predacons is the obvious choice but I really, really don't like the predacons. Perhaps, in keeping with the viking themes, a small colony of mecha set up shop on what seems to be a great planet, only to be met with, surprise surprise, very aggressive local mechanofauna. Do they pack up at leave, like normal people? No, of course not. They're too stubborn for their own good. Dig their heels in and decide they're gonna stay, no matter what. What are these super intense fauna? Actual mechanical dragons without root modes or sapience? Could be. Whatever the equivalent of a night fury is flies so fast it makes sonic booms and it's very, very cool

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: A Fate Inked in Blood by Danielle L. Jensen

4.5/5. Releases 2/27/24.

Heat Index: 6.5/10.

Vibes: vIKINGS!!!!, slutty guy/serious girl, "oops I'm married to your dad", and legitimately intense battle and magic stuff that actually works and puts people in those heartrending situations where it's all "STAY ALIVE!!!!! I WILL FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!" as it should in a FANTASY ROMANCE

Married to a man she hates and hiding the fact that she's the child of a minor goddess (children of gods are a Thing in this world) Freya lives a life of drudgery. Until, that is, her secret is revealed to all and Jarl Snorri declares that she's a prophesied shieldmaiden, meant to clinch him the kingdom he's always wanted. As such, she must marry him--kind of an issue, as she is very, very attracted to Snorri's son Bjorn. Another issue: Bjorn has been bound to Freya as her protector. On top of everything, Freya's goddess-given abilities are obscure but dangerous, leading her to wonder if her fate is less that of a protector than that of a monster...

OOOOH WE'VE GOT SOMETHING HERE. I've read Danielle L. Jensen before, way back in the day with her Malediction books--but those were YA (albeit, pretty hot YA) and I really don't read YA anymore. However, I do like Viking Shit, and I especially liked the idea of a romance between a Viking lady and her husband's SON, which was something I always wanted to happen on Vikings. So I picked it up.

And dude. It sucked me right in. I am, as I will get into more below, kind of a hard sell on fantasy romance--when it works, I am HOOKED but when it doesn't I am quickly turned off. This is the former. I was so drawn to Freya, a heroine who does have Chosen One aspects, but is also very human and just trying to make it work, one battle at a time. (Also? She's not instantly gREAT at fighting, how refreshing.) And I absolutely fell head over heels dumb girl for our hero Bjorn, who I expected to be a stoic silent warrior type. NO. He's so much better. He's like, an amazing warrior--but is also so funny and super slutty and just a BRO. I love him. Protect him.

The fantasy plot is compelling and doesn't get so in love with itself that it's impossible to follow. It's really good! I'm excited by this! Can't wait for the next! (What a relief, God.)

Quick Takes:

Here's my issue with fantasy romance (or romantasy, though I'll point out that this series is billed as "fantasy romance" on Netgalley, and that is so HOT to me): often, though the name implies that it's a subgenre of romance with a heavy fantasy bent... It's basically fantasy (well-done or not) with a romance subplot tucked in. The character work is shoddy, the tension is nil, and you can tell that the author is just trying to horn in on the romance audience. Not so, here. 

First off, I think Jensen was really smart to create a fantasy world that is very "Vikings But Fantasy". It's not poorly drawn. You can tell that she's really into the Norse vibe, and I will say that I am biased because as someone who has somehow been watching the Vikings franchise since its inception (pray for me) I'm fairly familiar with it on that level. But the way she weaves the fantasy elements, most distinctly the idea of these empowered children of gods (who are basically made when their mortal parents HAVE THREESOMES WITH GODS??? Amazing. Just imagine having these superpowers and knowing that it's because your parents took some dude home from the bar one night and he turned out to be Thor.) into the story is really natural.

Secondly... There is a really compelling plot, yes. I am really into the duality of Freya, don't get me wrong. I really like the royal intrigue. All the WIFE DRAMA. It's My Brand. But the real heart of this story, very openly and honestly and presented without any self-consciousness, is Freya and Bjorn. And I think Jensen just lays it all out there the moment she introduces the brilliant plot device of "Bjorn's Dad, Who Freya Is Technically Married To, Wants Bjorn To Follow Freya Around And Make Sure She Doesn't Get Into Danger". Oh, so he's supposed to protect her as she hurtles into adventure and fights Viking zombies and shit? HOW CONVENIENT. Throughout the story, their immediate physical attraction melts into this emotional slow burn... and I am also a hard sell on a slow burn, so thank you for doing it right, Danielle. The book is single POV (Freya's, though I wouldn't mind Bjorn's in a future installment) but you can just tell that Bjorn is so mad that he's this into a woman who is technically his stepmother. Like, he can have anyone! But he wants HER. But he can't have her! 

Picture me gobbling this up like a raccoon in a trash can.

--Speaking of! If you're all "ew, I hate that Freya is married to his dad"--no spoilers, but this is dealt with in a way that I think both avoids the ick that some readers (to be clear: not me, I am very resistant to ick) may feel over that setup, and avoids a copout. 

At the same time... First off, Bjorn doesn't fully know that the ick has been avoided, and to be frank, I don't think Bjorn really cares about a little ick. But he does have like, you know, the "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME" vibe for a while, and it is delicious. All very illicitaffairs.mp3.

--I also really loved that there is no mistake about Freya being a GROWN WOMAN. I strongly, strongly object to shelving this as New Adult, because regardless of her age, Freya (and honestly Bjorn as well) has been through a lot. She's literally married when we open this novel. She gets a second husband. She is not a virgin; her marriage was not chaste; it sucked. (To be clear: you don't get a lot of insight into Freya's first marriage beyond "it sucked" because it's dealt with pretty quickly. You don't see any sexual assault on the page in this book, and I don't know that Freya would see it that way? It's alluded to as "lie back and think of England" bad, gross sex, which I think suggests assault, but there is not any explicit violence, sexual or otherwise, depicted in either of her marriages.) She is JADED. She has never had a man like, take care of her.

And then she gets linked up with local dude who's snarking at her horrible husband about how he must not go down on her enough, and she's all "WHAT'S THAT MEAN :/". I really, really enjoy a pairing that involves a tough woman who's never been properly taken care of and a man who's like "I am DESPERATE to take care of you". Freya deserves!

--Another good choice: often, in fantasy romance (or at least in fantasy romance of yore; I feel like there has been a recent push to correct this, at least somewhat) the heroine is hypercompetent. She's smart, she's a good fighter, she's a femme fatale, she's the seventeen-year-old master assassin...

Freya is... a person. She does want to fight, and she is--not surprisingly, as she does come from a culture in which women do fight--not incapable of holding her own. Somewhat. But as soon as she's up against a master warrior like Bjorn, she's kind of not great, Bob, and even with the benefit of her goddess-given abilities, she still has a lot to learn. It's giving "Book One Aang", and I'm good with that. I'm actually much happier with her giving Book One Aang as a twenty-something woman because like? Give us hope, Freya.

She also doesn't have all the answers. Frankly, Freya doesn't have 80% of the answers, and she shouldn't, because she's new to this. She's new to the magic stuff (though she knew she had it, which I did like--she's not an Alina Starkov-level "WHAAAT" about it) and she's new to the court intrigue, and frankly she's new to Hot Dudes. Speaking of, she does spend a decent amount of brain time going "STOP! STOP, SELF! DO NOT LOOK! DO NOT TOUCH!" Which, frankly, I loved. I feel like that's the kind of behavior people are going to be annoying about because people are dying, but like. This woman just spent years surrounded by Village 2's and suddenly she's being swung around and guarded by a very flirtatious Royal 12. Give her a break. I would be much worse. 

And she doesn't know what the hell she's doing with this man. She knows the mechanics, but she doesn't know the FINESSE. Speaking of...

The Sex:

The reason why I'm between a 6 and a 7 on this (and that's not quality, that's literally just how hot the book is re: sex acts) is that the story is a slow burn. Everything sexy happens in the back half, and you don't get to the full shebang until pretty late in the game. It's ABOUT THE YEARNING.

However, I think this was a good choice, and when we do get those scenes they are super hot (and explicit, though not like Sierra Simone explicit to be clear) and passionate and you definitely get the sense that it's this giant deal for these two. I was quite touched. I was like "awww" but also "oh" which is where I want to be when a story builds to two people hooking up for that long.

And Jensen fully takes advantage of the "Vikings" component and does have some "under the sleeping furs with 76 people sleeping in the near vicinity but we just need to get this done" action here. Which. Brava.

I'll be honest--I was worried about this, as I feel like I've been let down by a great fantasy romance in the past. I, much like several people in this novel, have been burned before. Not so here. I'm fully on board. I loved where we left off, and I cannot wait to see where those two crazy kids go next. Hopefully, like. To Vikings divorce court. So she can end that marriage to his dad.

Thanks to Netgalley and Del Rey for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Preorder:

Amazon

B&N

Bookshop.org

[elismor]

🧃 and 🦴? :D

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before I assume this means lore about me? Anyway. I've been on the web for decades, so I feel like there isn't really much that I've "never posted about before" in one way or another.

Um. Hmmm. I know a lot of people don't believe in psychics and the like, but I was talking to my sister-in-law over the weekend about her experience having her Akashic Record read and it reminded me that each of the handful of psychics I have seen over the years have described one of my spirit guides as a being with horns of some sort. One said it was a guy in a viking helmet with huge horns. Another said it was a shaman wearing a set of big bison horns. A third said it was a mastodon with gigantic tusks. Another described it as a guy wearing a helmet with one giant horn sticking out of the top like a narwhal.

This is over the course of many years in many places and none of them (to my knowledge) knew one another. I only saw one of them more than once.

Make of it what you will. I think it's super interesting.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

I mean...Star Wars? I suppose it depends on how literally you define "inspires". If we're talking about "this excites my imagination and makes me want to tell stories" then, yes, the most obvious is SW. Even as a kid in the 70s, I was telling stories (through playing pretend) that were sparked by seeing ANH. If we're talking about "i want to write like this or tell stories this way"...there are several. Fool On the Hill (by Matt Ruff) was the first piece of magical realism I read (I think) and really opened me up to the idea that things can be set in the real world, but still have magical elements (however you define magic). When I was writing Monaboyd, the work of both @ceeturnalia and @maraschinocheri showed me that using present tense can be really powerful and also allow for the personality of the narrator to be part of a story and influence the vibe. (btw? narrator does not necessarily mean author)

Thanks @cacodaemonia!

Here's a link to the list if anyone else wants to ask or be asked!

[dollar-store-sparklez]

so im gonna take a little time here while its slow at work to gush for a moment

you see this guy?

thats vikingpilot. he is a streamer and he has a tumblr, he does a lot of really cool content and hes the type of guy to absolutely want in your dnd game. hes chaotic and funny and he joined my double life server.

record scratch, freeze frame. yeah you heard me, the streamer joined the server. howd that happen? well it all started with the first session where we could not find any cows for the life of us. 2 groups of soulmates including me made a polycule, and it went fine for a while. we found cows the next session. and then they get stuck by lighting through a roof and die. so we, as a joke, blame vikingpilot, because frankly its funny and we're all big fans in the polycule. and then half the polycule died and went yellow. so we blamed him again! as a joke! and then, because we didn't really expect him to, yknow. agree we were like. what if we invited him. yknow, since he killed us and our cows. but he did agree and we made the server circle up and do a summoning ritual, the only people aware he was coming being our group of 4, even the friend thay whitelisted him didnt actually know he was gonna show up. so we ring a bell jist So Much and then boom. vikingpilot and utter chaos and also he actually killed half the polycule this time oopsies.

pandora why are you telling me this you ask

bc its the coolest thing ever actually. how many streamers would actually casually join a server to cause chaos just cause someone asked. like, basically none, thats not how it worked. but my silly got round 2 tumblr sexyman minecraft guy was like yeah thats funny lets go and did it. and we did have plans but they were completely derailed because we made viking a god and it was hilarious. but its just genuinely so cool, hes a super nice cool guy and it was most of the servers first impression of him which made it way better, and all i did was ask politely and ring a bell. im just like. it was so cool genuinely everyone had an absolute blast, we gave him gay dirt which has now been seen by three minecraft streamers, a win for the me community for sure, and just like. yeah it was really really cool. open invitation king, if you ever wanna come back and vibe you can, it was funny and awesome and you were great

and thats all to say

SUBSCRIBE TO VIKINGPILOT WOOOOO SUB W TWITCH PRIME AND ON YOUTUBE HES A SILLY SCARY GUY SUB TO VIKING WOOOOO

[senualothbrok]

Thinking of you and sending happy, hopeful, bright vibes over to you💕 (you can always message me if you want to chat)

How did you get into writing? You have such a beautiful style, I love to hear author's 'origin stories'.

What are some of your favourite books?

Aaaand what's something about you we may not know? 🌻♥️✨

💜🫂 Thank you lovely. I appreciate that so much. I am sending you the same, and the same offer obviously.

As for your juicy questions...

How did I get into writing?

I'm so honoured that you like my style. That is such high praise coming from a poet like yourself! 🥹 When I was a kid I loved reading and words and stories. My first "career ambition" was expressed at 9, I wanted to be an author! And when I was a teenager, I occasionally wrote stories, and I wrote loads of fanfic from 15-17 (it was a lifeline for me at that time too!). But I had really low self esteem so it was a struggle to maintain creativity alongside the self doubt and perfectionism, and trying to be A High Achiever and all the rest of it. So I lost the habit of writing. I did write some poems when I was in my early twenties, and blogged a fair bit, but didn't have the presence of mind to write stories. Life got in the way. I forgot that I have a writer's soul.

And then in 2021 I did a creative writing course, and started writing a novel on and off. I then got BG3 brainrot last year, the novel fell to the wayside (lol) because of fanfic, and now I'm here!

My novel is 2/3 of the way through, and I hope to one day finish it and get it published! I would like to be a full time writer eventually 💜

What are some of your favourite books?

Oh boy I love this question so much!!! This is a curated list.

* Circe by Madeline Miller

* The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

She is my greatest influence. I hope to write like her one day! Every word she writes is poetry. So much wisdom and pain and beauty, so much economy in her writing. Her books have transformed me. I just love her work so much.

* The Greenlanders by Jane Smiley

I love the Icelandic sagas and this book basically reads like a real saga from the Viking age. It's incredible. Like something unearthed from the ancient depths.

*The Hours by Michael Cunningham

When I first read this book I felt like it illuminated a fundamental universal truth and cracked my soul open. I need to re-read it...

Some book series:

* A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin

* The Witcher by Andrzei Sapowski

* The Southern Reach Trilogy by Jeff Vandermeer

All amazing, immersive, meticulous, expertly written. The first two are well known and beloved in fandom. The Southern Reach Trilogy is super weird and fucks with your head - Lovecraftian.

I am also a big fan of Sylvia Plath's poetry.

I'm sure there are more works I'm forgetting but I could go on and on!

Something about me you may not know

Umm I lose track of what I've shared online and what I haven't 🤣 um I guess I used to be an avid kickboxer/boxer! That's probably something semi exciting!

Thank you again my dear for letting me talk about myself and what I love. I feel more "real" and seen. 🫂💜 I'm so grateful.

Hope you're having a good day xxx