#like so ridiculously lucky

[maggot-baggage]

Methinks its time to move back home actually

[valewritessss]

I’m hoping (I’m praying) that once the insecurities society has created for people—mainly women— becomes too much, the world will kind of reset and we’ll realize this is ridiculous and stop caring so much about appearance.

[a-story-teller]

I was in a major car accident yesterday (got t-boned) and was very luckily a) alone in the car, as the passenger side got walloped and b) not injured. However I took care of everything and then went home and proceeded to sleep for 19 out of the following 24 hours.

[chiosblog]

'As mechanically inclined as a cage full of hamsters'

I know I dont appreciate much Frankie lol but I quite like his interaction with Murdock here, well I'm actually jealous cause I wanna hang out with Murdock this way too but that's another story

The A-Team 5x01 'Dishpan Man'

[lemongogo]

[quiet-longing]

because sometimes louis (and vampires) deserves nice things

Or: no, they really don't, but I'm giving it to them, anyway because it amuses me.

Iwtv is a painful fandom to be a part of, especially if you know what's coming and I think most people know, readers or not. The books have been out for years. There was a movie. The internet exists. What I'm saying is anyone coming into this fandom is probably someone who, by general cultural osmosis, knows what's up. Nobody's coming in blind. So, we all, to varying degrees, know how much it's gonna hurt us.

So after I brood about it (like the good Louis fan i am), I like to imagine a softer world for the characters. A world that's filled with small dramas instead of big ones and imagine them still being their ridiculous selves.

Now, think of this introduction to my soft vampire daydreams as a warm bath...

The premise is superficially the same minus the murdering and vampirism and it's a modern day human AU, so this Claudia has two dads and not a dad and an uncle and more importantly (not to Louis and Lestat; they would like their young, sweet daughter back; not this shrieking changeling who's replaced her), she gets to grow up. She's adopted (legally and everything!) because Tragic Circumstances (not caused by Louis this time). Now, I thought Bailey played Claudia a lot younger than 14 in the beginning and I really enjoyed it. Claudia almost certainly didn't get a childhood, so when Louis and Lestat vamped her, she did, and I take my characterization from that because this is supposed to be fun.

Anyway, they adopt Claudia at younger than 14 - young enough that she's still asking "is that my fountain?" "is that my house" "are we a family?" and she is exactly as spoiled as she is in the show. Whatever she wants, she gets. Louis and Lestat dote on her. Lestat especially, spoils her. They have a special bond (I've yet to figure out about what yet; not the stage, that comes later and Claudia is sooooo mad about it). She has special bonds with both of her dads, but in her early childhood, she's especially close with Lestat because they're so similar. When she hits her tweens and teens, that's when she gets closer to Louis because "the NOISE, the DRAMA, he's so STUPID! he doesn't understand ANYTHING" and "noise! Noise is this torment that you pretend is music! I taught you better! She knows, Louis! She knows what music is; she only does this to HURT ME!, 'DRAMA?! DRAMA?! shouting in French', 'I AM AN ADULT; I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING AND IT IS YOU WHO IS STUPID, UNGRATEFUL BRAT!' followed by the very loud, very identical sounds of inarticulate rage, a chorused 'I HATE YOU' and the slamming of two doors in unison.

Lestat would absolutely argue like this with his teenage daughter. He would absolutely be the parent says 'your face is stupid!' to his kid, throw the exact same tantrum while his husband watches serenely 'LOUIS, MON CHER, HOW CAN YOU TAKE HER SIDE?!!!!!!! DO YOU NO LONGER LOVE ME?????' Meanwhile, Louis has said nothing as he listened to the two of them present their case to him as if he's some kind of judge. As if he wasn't just sitting here all cozy, reading his book when these two loud brats stomped (loudly) into the living room and stood in front of him, taking turns (loudly) hurling insults at each other while throwing their arms out as if they're presenting one another to Louis and then looking at Louis as if to say 'can you BeLieVE what i have to put up with? Louis does believe it. Louis absolutely believes because Louis is currently putting up with it times two every day of his life. He is seriously reconsidering Lestat's offer to nominate him for sainthood and present his case to The Church. St. Louis of New Orleans. It has as ring to it. Louis is not serene. He only looks serene because he is imagining his own softer world where his husband and daughter had quiet fights, upstairs, away from him, while he got to finish a book (one! single! book!) without interruption. And now that they've both stormed off without waiting him to render a verdict (he has yet to do this; he is mildly disappointed because he kind of wants to do that thing Armand showed him on the Ipad that time - hold up a picture of each one of them and tell them it's the same picture. He'd been a little confused by it at first and then Armand have given him a long lecture on memes on and Internet Culture before Daniel (Old Maniel, my beloved! I don't care; this is my new favorite iteration of devil's minion and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands) cut in: "Armand, I think he's got it. I had to explain memes to him. He had a lot of questions and I did a lot of research. Sorry, Louis." Louis, had in fact gotten it, gotten it quite a while ago. He'd pretty much gotten it as soon as Armand had pulled up a picture of the meme that wasn't two obscure Renaissance paintings.

He's not as technologically inept as everyone seems to think he is. Lestat is obsessed with social media. Louis helps him photographs his "thirst traps." (I imagine that's how Louis imagines the word thirst traps in his head.) Which reminds him. He's pretty sure he's due for that meltdown soon enough. It's getting harder to bribe Claudia's friends not to show her her dad's Insta. Louis does, in fact call it Insta. Occasionally 'the 'Gram' when he wants to be silly. Because Lestat. And because he's bribing his daughter's friends to steer away her away from the small empire Lestat has built across various social media websites.

Lestat's been a very benevolent ruler; he loves engaging with his subjects. Louis wishes he would engage a little less because he is very concerned that the one video of Lestat doing the Britney Spears knife dance in his underwear) is going to go viral. Right now, the good citizens of Lestat's fiefdom are hoarding it to themselves, making it their new 'iykyk' wink-wink nudge-nudge. And it was one of the paid streams, but still. Of course it was going to get out. He's just glad the public Lestat subreddit has banned posting it and is being strict about taking it down every time it goes up. (Louis is bizarrely familiar with certain corners of the internet, but he doesn't even know the nyan cat meme. Old? Yes. But standard curriculum for anyone who knows memes. Which Louis does not. The only memes he knows are Lestat memes and they all originated with Lestat. He doesn't even know they're called memes. He just thinks of them as funny edits pointing out Lestat being ridiculous. He can't believe Lestat likes them as much as he does, frankly. I love Louis.)

So, yes. That's another thing St. Louis of New Orleans has on his plate. His daughter's inevitable discovery of her father's social media following and that the real reason all her friends always want to hang out at her house is because they think her dad is hot, not because they're rich (well, they are and that is part of it, but mostly it's because they want to ogle Lestat. They think they're being subtle. They are not. Claudia, so far, has assumed it's because they share the same opinion of her father as she does: that he's a ridiculous idiot and that they're laughing at him, not giggling about Lestat 'just breathed omg!' like the 14 year-olds they are.)

Le sigh. This post was supposed to be about Claudia and her Regina George era and Lestat and Louis getting called to the principal's office and listening to a list of her crimes and making Very Serious faces at her and getting to the car and Louis starting to lecture and Lestat asking why she wasted her time on this instead of taking down the other Ultimate Mean Girl that just moved here who's trying to challenge Claudia's status as the Prettiest and Most Perfect Princess That Ever Walked This Earth Everyone Loves Her Just What Are You Insinuating About My Daughter [insert French insult] (did I already say Lestat is French in every universe? well, if i didn't, he is, and if i did, now you're really certain.)

Anyway, enjoy my crack thoughts about everyone's favorite vampire family.

[sob-dylan]

i’ve been home for just two hours and i already want to blow my brains out jesus fucking christ

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

[skibasyndrome]

this is like... such a ridiculous thing to complain about but HOW many fucking different Christmas parties can there be that one has to attend as an adult human being

[festivalofthe12]

God but ngl it took me. WAY too long to rememebr that Kakeru doesnt like Tohru for some complicated backstory reason I don't even slightly remember anymore hahaha

Like cmon dude. You're both Sohma in-laws!!!!! How can you be having beef with the 1 person who a) is inevitably going to break the curse FOREVER, and b) is like the one person EVER to treat your borfriend with unconditional kindness. Absolute madness I truly cannot remember his reasoning at all.

[woozification]

my favorite seventeen things~ 💎

i was tagged by @jeonwon-wonwoo and @facethesuns, ty maddie & emily! <3

the template:

i'll tag @squishy-woozi, @kimsmingyu @chanonara @sebongz @onedirecton and @gyuseulogy (if you want!)

[judicent]

Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME

[mejomonster]

I hate panic attacks

[walkman-cat]

if i get no sleep tonight im going to actually rosho bawl

[garrettwrites]

When someone tells you they don't like hugs, that's not an invitation for you to "cure them". It is not a "you" thing, although sometimes it might be. You thinking "they have to get used to it" because "your hugs are different" and "that's how you show love" is not a valid argument. Hugging them out of the blue as a goodbye is not cool either. Fuck off.

[whiteshipnightjar]

If you miss Andy laughing his heart out, want to hear him tell a story about officiating his sister-in-law's wedding and his daughter riding a pony, and talk about ice cream, this Doughboys' podcast ep is for you.