#like so many things seem out of place to me it's kinda hard to identify to this reader???

[atlantis-just-drowned]

I just finished chapter 15 of 'Love, Death and Rollerskates' and Oh Damn

This post will contain slight spoilers so beware

Guys we already know that Sun also has his memories wiped by Afton but has anyone picked up on the fact that Afton also manipulates both Sun and Moon to hate each other?

I mean listen.

They are both so deeply convinced that the other is a monster. It's not just some manipulative tactic to keep the reader for themselves (as I thought for Sun in the beginning tbh). They really do think it's the truth. But how did they end up thinking this way, and why?

Welp those are very interesting questions but they're not exactly the right ones. What we have to ask here is who does this hatred profit to?

And here we have an answer, and this answer is William Afton.

Why? Because as long as they hate each other, they 1) forget that he's the one controlling them because they both have a scapegoat to blame for their situation and 2) can't team up to beat him, leaving them isolated and powerless.

Which is so damn clever to be honest.

So yes Afton erases their memories, but I also believe he takes this opportunity to fill in the blanks with some made up stories and/or manipulate the truth to nourish their hatred.

The worst part is the fact that he doesn't have to participate that much in it: all he has to do is twist the facts just enough for them to drift apart and stop communicating, and the rest is only a vicious circle of misunderstandings, negative emotions and lack of communication, that will never stop unless they actively seek to break that pattern and communicate.

For now I think Moon is the one who would recognise this pattern the most easily, because he's the most logical one of the two, and he already knows that Sun is being manipulated as well and experiences memory losses, he just doesn't know to what extent this affects his counterpart. Whereas Sun is in complete denial of it all, covering it with some sort of toxic positivity, and the narrative he gives is incredibly self-centred and based on his feelings rather than the facts, making it impossible for him to see the whole picture.

Reader have a crucial role in this dynamic, because both Sun and Moon care about them deeply, making them more keen on listening to y/n and taking their words into account. This is both a disadvantage and a good news: reader can aggravate this circle if they start picking sides and talking negatively about one of them to the other, but on the other hand, they could be able to push through the mutual hatred and get them to talk together again, with a common goal for the two of them: keeping y/n safe, and maybe, break free from Afton's emprise.

Anyway thank you for listening to my rants, I had to type this WHOLE SHIT twice because Tumblr didn't save my first draft lmao

[l0stfoster]

I desperately want to know more about the cursed tulsa au! Is it ok to ask you for more headcanons about it/details from the au?

Anon you have probably asked me the question that’ll give you the longest post I’ll ever have on my account because I was born to yap about this. Nothing super detailed or written out, but a lot of little things about the characters and the world around them! Take some of my written 'headcanons' with a grain of salt!! Although I'm kinda one of the writers, I don't want to call stuff canon without input from the others.

You can VERY clearly see who we talk about the most. Any additional fun facts or info will either be mentioned in reblogs or put in a new post and linked here!! EDIT: Added a read more bc it's so long I'm so sorry

TULSA

200 years ago, the area of Tulsa was cursed by a witch. This witch stated that the poorest born will be shown just as the rest of society views them. Freaks.

A majority of, if not all, of the greasers are cursed. They have to be born in Tulsa for this effect to take place. There are very few socs who are also cursed, but it's a very spl

Those born in Tulsa can leave, but their powers are weakened (or they lose them in full until they return)- this may not be an issue for the human passing ones who just want to live life normally, but folks like Fae and Harpies will likely be hunted down by the government, as their kind isn't seen around. (At least, not to the public eye.)

(Already stated this but I'll say it again) Follows the canon plot excluding Johnny and Dally’s deaths. Johnny ‘dies’ (heart stopped, declared clinically dead— gets resuscitated though) and Dally still snaps and loses it, bolts the second after he ‘died’. Dude gets shot (non-fatally on contact) by the cops, but the gang gets him to the hospital and he lives thank god.

Animalistic traits are pretty common amongst the cursed. Some have horns, others have tails, the harpies have wings, fae have pointed ears and tails, and many of them have sharp teeth.

DARRY

Fae, his power is Emotional Augmentation/Negation & Mind Manipulation. - He can calm people down, elevate their emotions, or clamp down on people's power if they're getting too out of hand. This makes it really hard for him to identify his own emotions. He also has a bad habit of using his power when he's upset, which means it pretty much rubs off on others. He's usually pretty good at keeping it down, but he struggles. - His manipulation is pretty much a workaround for the fact that the fae cannot lie. It pretty much makes him VERY convincing, mind manipulation does that. He'll tell someone something and they'll believe it. Master Gaslighter. That comes with its own issues-- he can't tell if the relationships he's made are authentic due to his manipulation, meaning they might just be telling him what he wants to hear. It bugs him really bad, and he worries that a lot of his friendships aren't as solid as they seem to be.

He had a very messy situationship and falling out with Paul. One-sided crush on Darry's end for a while throughout their friendship (Paul was in HEAVY denial of his own feelings, while Darry knew damn well he loved Paul.) Paul, being the soc he is, didn't like that Darry was "one of those freaks". That was sort of where their friendship shattered, and everything that happened after Bob's death made it beyond repairable.

REALLY hates being fae, and has done a lot of shit to try and prevent himself from being easily identifiable as something not human. He tried cutting his ears off ((due to paul's comment calling them freaks) got caught, and one ear is fucked up now), continuously tried to get his tail injured enough to be amputated (that also didn't work, but now he's got a disabled tail that hurts to move too much), and even gave filing his teeth down a go (also didn't work- made them sharper if anything.)

He doesn't wag his tail, and the gang can’t tell if it’s because he’s never happy or because the range of motion is limited due to his injury. If you’re lucky the tip of it will flick around but he also does that when angry so you can’t tell what the fuck dude is actually feeling

Fucked up his vocal cords growling all the time as a kid when trying to be intimidating, so now his growl sounds like a broken wolf's growl; he can't do it for too long or it fucks up his voice and he'll sound like a chain smoker. (Speaking of, I headcanon he used to/does smoke, just hid it well from Pony n Soda)

Purrs very rarely but when he does, he purrs like a motherfucker. Whole ass jet engine. It is LOUD and you will vibrate if he's hugging you.

His boss is the only one unaffected by his power. "You should give me a raise" 'Not gonna happen, Darrel' "FUC-"

Stole Darrel Sr's name. It's why he's junior /silly

Literally just anxiety personified, tbh. He cannot catch a break and hates himself so bad. He's equally as feral as his brothers but is just VERY good at keeping it lowkey.

All the fae are nature-linked in some way. Darry really likes the sun and warm weather. He's got Disney princess energy too, and animals adore him. (hence Two being drawn to him as a perch /silly) He gets followed home by neighborhood strays and keeps having to tell Soda that no, they can't keep them.

Not even specifically an AU headcanon but when he cracks any bones they pop like forty gazillion times. Cracks his back and it's just a solid 5 seconds of snapping.

Speaking of, he's one of the only people who can hold Two's weight because his wings are heavy. Dude's strong as fuck here for obvious reasons, he's also a little too fast compared to a human, so.

Bites his nails to high heavens. He stopped doing it for a while trying to break the habit but accidentally clawed up someone in the gang wrestling and hasn't let them get long since.

Likes to preen Two's wings, it's the repetitive nature that calms him down. If he's stressed and Two notices then he offers.

Like all the other power havers, he gets super fucking weak and a bunch of other drawbacks when overusing his power. Still developing said drawbacks but I personally imagine he either just gets overly emotional or goes completely robotic and stoic.

Jumped Paul with Dally once bc they were trying to get back all the feathers stolen from Two-Bit. Dally didn't even finish asking who was first before he answered a very flat "Paul."

He's very friendly with Ms. Mathews. She helps them a lot throughout the years and he deeply respects her-- he also finds it very funny to see all the photo album bullshit she's got for her kids. Laughs his ass off at the stupid baby photos of Two n his sister.

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE ON HIS BIRTHDAY. This will be further explained in Johnny's little section but long story short, they were supposed to get into a car accident before the train tracks and Darry would've died. He's got survivor's guilt, to an extent, as his parents wouldn't have died in the crash. Only him.

Had heightened Pony's anger during their confrontation. The guilt still eats him alive.

Unlike the other greasers who's powers weaken while they're sick, Darry's power gets very unstable due to how he's commonly repressing them. The gang knows he’s sick no matter how hard he tries to hide it physically because they’ll be around him and suddenly they’re weirdly emotional, or he’ll say something and they’ll believe him even if they know better.

In alliance with my headcanon for the normal story, I personally imagine he got jumped after his friendship with Paul ended before their parents died (since that friendship breaking apart kinda ruined his alignment with any socs)

Generally just a normal hc but he's got Autism, BPD, PTSD, and a few other things like anxiety, major depressive disorder, and sensory/eating issues. Very financially insecure too.

Used to bite as a kid. That's it. Send tweet.

SODA

Fae, his power is pretty much just a Siren Song. - He can get people to do what he wants with his voice, it's as simple as that. He used it to get Sandy to confess to the fact that the baby wasn't his, uses it to get Darry or Steve to take breaks if they're working a little too hard, etc.

Used his power to get extra cake after dinner or to get teachers to lighten up on him or his friends when they got in trouble. It works very similarly to Darry's manipulation, only Soda's is physical and makes them very compelled to follow what he says. In certain circumstances, people can tell if he's caused them to do/say something. That doesn't stop him, though!

When their parents died, everyone's powers went haywire. Soda had to either scream himself mute or force himself to be quiet so he wouldn't accidentally make anyone do something. He didn't want it to be fixed.

If he overuses his magic then he can't talk for a good few days without it hurting, voice gets very raspy.

Thinks he's a bad person due to the nature of his power. I personally like to think the only time he doesn't mind using them is when it's for the benefit of his friends. He's had to coax Two down from the roof after his jumping because watching all the harpies fly just makes him feel worse. He's stopped Steve from overusing his telekinesis after too many close calls with dropping a car.

Absolutely LOVES his ears and tail. Has a ton of piercings and tries to accessorize them a lot. The polar opposite of Darry in that regard. Likes his sharp teeth too.

His claws are probably the second sharpest, as they get sharper with age IMO.

He's probably the most expressive of the fae; constantly doing stuff since he can't sit still for the life of him. Tail's either swaying, tapping, wagging, or doing something.

Has the growl of a leopard. it is terrifying, when he growled at the socs during the rumble they almost pissed themselves. It scares the shit out of Two-Bit LMAOAO.

Soda has arguably the most average purr out of his brothers, it's basic, simple like a cat's is. He purrs super hard and at pretty much any physical affection sent his way.

When asked for his name by Mr and Mrs. Curtis, he pointed at a Pepsi bottle. Eventually, he swapped it for Soda.

He was jumped by the socs once, and they gagged/muzzled him so he couldn't use his power against them to defend himself. The gang was fucking destroyed when he came home with it, they knew they weren't perceived as equal, but that's beyond cruel.

Also slightly nature-linked. I like to think bees flock to him <3 He's also very good with botany, pretty tied with Pony.

He makes little healing pastes/oils for Darry using Pony's plants when he massages his back.

Soda learned many of his extending-the-truth-to-avoid-lying tricks from Darry, so he's very good at it. Darry is one of the only people who doesn't fall for Soda's shit. Steve doesn't either, just because he feels too bad lying to his best friend.

Soda pretty much gets zoomies. He'll be practically bouncing off the walls and going batshit bonkers. It's insane. Sometimes he's on all fours too, no one knows how he can do it so well.

Arguably the most fae-linked of the brothers; a lot of the little things that don't affect his brothers get to him. All three of them are properly burned by iron, though.

Doesn't like being thanked, as it not only implies being owed something, but he also just feels that he shouldn't be thanked for being kind/having basic empathy.

He absolutely hates salt. Too white for it /j (It's another fae thing, Soda's just most impacted by it)

He's weirdly flexible and moves in super uncanny ways sometimes. No one's sure if it's a fae thing or if he's just.. built like that.

Soda's a smooth talker when using his magic but cannot for the life of him start a conversation without it.

When he found out that Steve's dad was abusive, he nonstop asked for the fucker's full name for DAYS because he was so upset that someone was hurting his best friend.

Stevepop is canon in the writer's eyes, but if you want to you can absolutely read their dynamic as platonic (won't stop us from drawing ship art of them so whoops). I try my best to keep most of the dynamics/relationships open for interpretation (On that note, no shipping the mfs who are family coded I'll actually maim you)

When he snores it rumbles off with a purr. Also sleeps halfway draped over Pony like a bigass weighted blanket.

Yet another normal headcanon thing but he's got ADHD, Dyslexia, PSTD, and DPD. Yeah all of them are a little fucked up.

He collects rocks and crystals. It's a stash he can't bring around Two-Bit because it WILL be stolen.

PONY

Fae, his power is Nature Manipulation - It's honestly just what it sounds like. He can create plants, manipulate them, etc. He's very commonly using them, and they're heavily emotion-tied. Cacti and Venus fly traps when angry, wilted plants and dead bushes when sad, etc etc. The plants he grows most are vines, as they're super useful for him. He can use them offensively or defensively as needed. They have a huge tree in their backyard that he grew.

He's benefited positively from bright sunlight and water. He's incapable of drowning, so when Bob tried to drown him in the fountain he was kinda just,, chillin'. (Unfortunately for these fuckers, Johnny did NOT know that.)

Alternatively, he gets super weak and sluggish during the winter and cold seasons. It's misery for him, he thrives on sunlight and warmth. He's got these greenish-grey eyes when it's the summer/spring and they get super dull during the colder months. Groundhog Day is for losers, the gang knows when spring's coming once Pony starts perking back up.

Plants grow in his hair, mostly little sprouts and flowers like that. Magical flower crowns!! He makes them for Johnny every now and then.

Gets followed by bees and bugs. He both enjoys and despises it because what the fuck dude why are HORNETS chasing him.

Liked to grow flowers to give their mom as a kid, he was a little gift giver to her.

On that note, a motherfucking GOBLIN as a child. Literally, chaos incarnate, absolutely horrible to try and raise because he was so fucking wild.

Does not have spring allergies, lucky fucker.

When their parents died, the house was wrapped in vines for days. Sometimes they still start to overtake and infest due to how many there had been, but Darry usually trims them down went he notices (or when he's got the free time, busy ass)

Has the fattest beef with Steve still. Will trip the guy with his vines and he bites.

He's got a squeaky purr and a squeaky growl due to being young. He growls like a snow leopard cub.

Responds really well to physical affection just like Soda, doesn't always purr to it but does really enjoy it. Avidly avoids it from Two bc the stupid bird will try to preen him and he thinks it's goofy /silly

QPR with Johnny. Pony represents life and Johnny represents death. They hold hands, are the besties ever, and are extremely codependent. Do not romanticize their relationship I'll eat your knees.

Pony knows a lot about flower meaning, as he should. He's also very good with botany too.

Instead of Tim stepping on him in the rumble, he ate shit and got smacked really hard by harpy wings. Two and Tim still aren't too sure which one of them did it.

Very little thing but he has a tooth gap.

Pony tried doing a Darry n attempted to cut his ears to look more human while at the church. It didn't work, so now he's got two little rips that look similar to if you had a piercing torn out. He's generally got mixed feelings about his features.

Tries to keep his emotions on the down low for the sake of looking like a tuff adult, but his tail is constantly giving him away.

Pony made them a fairy around the house with his plants, and it serves as a little thing that lets any of the Curtis' know if someone enters the hours whether they're at home or not. If Pony doesn't want someone at the house while they're away then his vines will yoink them out.

Choosing his name was just him saying a random word in a very ominous voice. Darry added the 'boy' to the end of it.

He makes flower crowns for the hell of it, just likes having his hands moving. Either the gang gets them or they get tossed in a misc pile.

He is SO fucking bad at trying to extend the truth, absolutely miserable at it. He cannot gaslight at all.

Due to his power being weak at Windrixville, he had tried and failed to save Johnny with his vines. Instead, they were pulling him back in a subconscious effort to save himself; plants don't go well with flame, after all.

Had to quit smoking post-Windrixville because the smell bothered him really hard. His voice was kinda fucked up after too due to the smoke inhalation as well.

He's got little burn scars on his hands from grabbing the iron gates at the cemetery where their parents are buried too many times. Darry thinks he's a moron for it.

Clings to Ace like a motherfucker during the winter because she's naturally VERY warm.

Darry has to hold this bitch down to cut his nails when they get too sharp because he'll scratch a bitch while wrestling and play dirty.

Mental stuff again; Autism, PTSD, and Sensory Issues. Also kind of an addict.

He hasn't reached the full potential of his powers because he's still going through puberty.

Poy thrives off sugar, being plant-based and all.

STEVE

Human, but his power is Telekinesis. - It's very simple to explain. He's capable of lifting this with his mind and little physical action. There technically isn't a weight limit, but if he lifts something too heavy for too long it'll drop and he'll be REALLL fucked up, it's exhausting to use too much. Alas, that doesn't really stop him. If he gets pissed off things start floating around him.

REALLY likes to throw cars. It's just showing off honestly. He likes doing little things like that for the hell of it.

His dad makes him float beers to him and he'll very bitterly do it. One time he did it a little too fast 'on accident' and held back smiling as his dad bitched about getting covered in beer.

If substitute teachers are unaccommodating assholes he hucks desks at them. Detention is very worth it.

His telekinesis makes him seem physically stronger than he actually is. When it came to Two-Bit perching on the group, the people who could do it were Dally, Darry, and Steve-- until they found out that Steve was just using his telekinesis to hold him up. He dared to do it once without and long story short they ended up on the floor.

Steve isn't super affected by Soda's magic, but he does stuff for him just 'cause Soda's his best friend.

He uses his telekinesis to fly around with Two sometimes. That sort of stops after Two's wing ends up fucked. Every now and then, though, he'd use his power to give Two-Bit the feeling of flying again. They both go home bummed, Two because he’s no longer ‘flying’ and Steve because he hates knowing he can’t actually help

He did most of the work making a prosthetic for Two, and Soda helped a hell of a ton too.

He can't lie to save his life, just 'cause. He also can't whistle.

Arguably even more autistic for cars like this because of how easy working on them becomes with telekinesis. Floats them up himself to work under them.

Speaking of that, he'll float Soda up to the ceiling if he pesters him too much while he's working on a car. Needs to be absolutely locked in and Soda interrupts that.

He may be human passing but he doesn't... look right. His limbs and fingers are too long for a person.

Was STRUGGLING after the rumble. Had to deal with the pain of bones being too stretched plus broken ribs and fucked up knuckles.

He's got a complex that he's only good for his powers. It's a big sense of insecurity for him. It doesn't help that his powers tie to his mood sometimes too. He's had too many close calls dropping a car he's underneath and almost crushing himself because something gets to him. "You good, Steve?" (literally shaking) "Yeah I'm great"

Soda has to use his magic to force him to take a break, cause Steve doesn't want to stop because he thinks they're all he's got that makes him good at what he does.

His dad was born poor and in Tulsa. Steve isn't too sure what his curse is, but he doesn't want to find out.

He's got a crush on Soda that he, for a while, keeps mistaking for a heavy amount of admiration. You don't want to be him, Steve, you want to be WITH him.

He's got fragile bones like the harpies, the only difference is that his isn't biological and is due to his telekinesis stretching his bones out.

Yeah also mentally ill. Autism, PTSD, and CDD.

Idly floats himself for the hell of it sometimes. If Soda calls him short he'll bitterly float up to match his height or be taller.

TWO-BIT

Crow Harpy. No power besides that I think

He's got all the mannerisms of a crow and of birds in general. He likes to give his family and the gang shinies; flies by and drops bottlecaps or random little trinkets and dips. Sometimes physically throws them at people.

He dives at people in the street sometimes if they have something shiny. He’ll also dive-bomb friends and just pick them up like a claw machine. Dally’s the most common victim of this.

He's very intertwined with the bird instincts too. Nests, preens, chirps, whistles, etc. Very fucking loud and will not shut up. Clicks when he's all angry and shit.

Two’s mom is a harpy and his dad is human. Neither of them took after him, and he wasn’t happy about that. Two-Bit constantly had his needs and habits as a harpy repressed by his father; this included having his feathers clipped and not being allowed to preen or nest. His mom wasn’t able to do anything about it for a while, as she was too busy working to keep a roof over their heads.

He knows she is doing her best, and he doesn't blame her for not being able to protect him from that. Two's a huge mama's boy. he used to hide in her wings when he was little.

He taught his sister to fly and had taught himself by jumping off the roof. It’s why he’s got his tooth gap.

His mom has a photo album of him and his sister as they grew, including their feathers as they molted. "Baby's first molt!" and he looks like a blended-up cotton ball. Darry loves these photo albums.

Dally calls him Songbird and Freckles. Two calls him Dimples

He likes to bleach the tips of his feathers and dyes them with his sister, since her feathers are still light enough to dye without bleach.

He preens with the gang and will also try to preen the gang. It’s a bonding activity but bc they don’t have feathers it’s usually just him fucking around with their hair. It usually ends with them wrestling a pissy bird that by god NEEDS to get that knot out of your hair or he will tweak. Pony hates it the most, Darry and Soda are the only ones who don't resist.

If Darry whistles around him he'll shoot over and perch on the guy.

Even bigger kleptomaniac in this. Always has something, Dally's been given at least six switchblades over a week.

He can mimic voices and sounds really well. Uses Johnny's voice to get Pony's attention once. "Oh so you'd get up the second Johnny calls BUT WHEN I DO YOU IGNORE M-"

Horrible flier when drunk, it's hilarious to watch.

If you throw a piece of cloth thick enough to block out light over his head, he falls asleep.

Cannot for the life of him get through doors on the west side because they aren't friendly for wings.

His heart beats like 200+ times per minute. Everyone thinks he's having a heart attack or something when they first hear it.

Alternatively, he thought Dally was dying when he first heard how slow his heartbeat was.

He goes into torpor during really cold winter days or if he's super fucking exhausted. Went into torpor right after his jumping and Dally was convinced that he was dying.

Two gets very territorial and defensive of the gang because they're "his flock". Gives people death stares if they're getting too close. He looms threateningly over the shoulders of his friends if he doesn't like the person they're talking to. It usually scares them off.

He likes to take the gang and his family for flights. Scoops em up and just goes, most of them enjoy it, the ones with a fear of heights? Not so much.

If the younger members of the gang get sick he WILL shove them in a nest and pretty much hover over the person. He gets mama-bird traits from his mom.

Alternatively, even if Darry gets sick Two will hover over that motherfucker. He will wrap that man in a blanket and not let him leave. Just swaddles all the fuckers.

He's got good timing with dive-bombing people. Darry fell off a roof once and BAM suddenly he's in the arms of a very energetic harpy.

Was a really small kid and just shot up overnight. One day he was up to Dally's chest and the next he was at his nose. Dally hated it.

He's docile by nature but when he gets violent it's HELL. He's got sharp claws and talons along with sharp teeth, my guy can do some damage.

Two hates cats and has absolute beef with them. He and the rest of the harpies are scared shitless by Soda's growl too, if Soda growls he whips his head around 180 and looks around frantic. Soda both feels bad but laughs his ass off.

Two (and the other harpies) can't see glass. He's walked into the glass at the DX and slams his head against car windows trying to look outside. He's absolutely mesmerized by glass cups because why is the water FLOATING?

He has to sit in the bed of Darry's truck because his wings don't fit.

The gang went to a mirror maze once and Two got stuck in it for 2 hours. Came out with a busted nose all pouty because those mfs left him in there how dare they.

The Curtis boys can mimic bird sounds really well, they whistle at Two-Bit and his head shoots up at attention.

He's afraid of ceiling fans.

Harpies generally don't like eating bird meat due to etiquette and cultural stuff, but Two's dad would force him to eat chicken as a kid.

He adores seafood and goes fucking bonkers for it.

He got struck by lighting once. Walked into the Curtis' house singed and just went "So I might've made a mistake." Somehow he wasn't too hurt.

He tries to puff up to look intimidating but people just laugh because it's fucking cute. If he wants to look scary all he has to do is smile, yet he doesn't.

He emotes a lot with his ear feathers, they're constantly moving.

Like most birds and other harpies, his bones are hollow. They're arguably made of stronger bone material but the insides are hollow so you can snap 'em with ease if you put enough force behind it.

His neck is like a chicken's, if you move his body his head will stay in one spot if he wants it to.

He liked to just sit and linger on Dally's shoulders when they were kids. Dally didn't mind.

His feathers travel up to the back of his neck and hair; the ones up top closer to his hair are a bit curlier.

The gang can play one-sided fetch with him if they want to. Toss a shiny and he dives after it; he just won't bring it back.

He's got a whole drawer that's just full of the shit he collects. Bones, bottle caps, coins, broken jewelry, glass, etc.

He gave everyone in the gang one of his feathers. All of them wear it on their person.

There's a rumor going around in soc society about Mothman. It's just Two-Bit in really bad lighting. He got moth man status because a soc was closing a shop one night and turned and just saw these BIG ol glowing eyes staring through the window in the darkness of the evening.

He goes after rodents and small bugs. His mom used to have to wrestle mice out of his mouth and he'd cry after.

His baby photos are 90% blurs and heaps of feathers because he ALWAYS had zoomies. The only photos he's peaceful in are the ones where he's snoozing.

If they were invented in their time, Darry would put claw caps on Two if he's resisting having his talons cut. They'll watch him try his damn hardest to just tolerate them before eventually relenting like "oKAY FINE I'LL CUT THEM."

In terms of a specific species, he's a Fish Crow.

TWO-BIT CONT.

His jumping went REAL fucking bad in this. Bev took a lighter to his wing and put her cigarette out between where they met on his back (alongside still burning his face). They didn’t go for both wings, because something was much more cruel about taking one rather than both.

That shit fucked him up for so long, not only was he unable to fly, but there was all that physical and psychological pain that came with having his freedom torn from him. He was made for the skies and now he’s forced to wander the ground with the same people who hurt him.

He self-isolated up until the rumble because he couldn’t stomach the idea of the group seeing how ‘gross’ his wing looked. His mom cried her eyes out when he came home after being jumped, even though he tried hiding the damage from her.

She tried to preen him to make him more comfortable but they couldn't get more than halfway through before he broke down sobbing. “Why couldn’t I have just been normal like dad” when his mom’s preening him bc he doesn’t want to keep feeling the pain in his wings. For a few days after he hesitated even letting her near just because the pain scared him.

HATED Marcia for a good bit after his jumping. She didn't partake in it, sure, but she watched and did nothing. It took months before he could even stomach looking at her.

When his wings recovered, he used to climb on the roof and watch the other harpies fly. He'd feel the breeze through his feathers and against his face and try to convince himself that just maybe, he was up there with them. Soda has to coax him back down with his power because he is only making himself feel worse. Two was bitter at the other harpies for a very long time.

Can't handle the smell of smoke from cigarettes, though. Fire itself in some cases (mostly Ace's fire) is fine, it's cigarettes that bother him.

School was hell on earth for a good while because tight spaces and sensitive wings don't go well. He usually ended up late to classes bc he had to wait for the halls to clear to leave. He would've dropped out over it if he wasn't afraid of upsetting his mom.

His balance was fucked up for a good while due to the difference in weight.

Steve and the rest of the gang made him a prosthetic for his wing. He cried, and it fit like a glove.

Despite getting that freedom back, though, he kind of hates it. He has to relearn to fly, and it's frustrating it causes a lot of resentment because he used to be able to fly perfectly and now he struggles. He hates that he needs to rely on this prosthetic to be free.

Two-Bit and Johnny bond over having had a part of their freedom taken and now needing aid to regain it.

There's no canon ship for Two in this but the writers fuck with Dar-bit and Mar-bit hard lmao. I'll probably be doing a lot of Dar-bit stuff for them.

AuDHD and PTSD, send tweet. Maybe ODD but I'm still thinking about that one. Major separation anxiety.

JOHNNY

Human, he's what we've been calling Death Tied - He's got a sixth sense where he can tell if, when, and how a person will die. If a person's death is coming up, he'll get flashes of the event; what killed them, their corpse, etc. It freaks him out sometimes, depending on who it is. I like to imagine he gets ‘death chills’; which is a similar thing to impending doom, only he feels it for others.

His curse was NOT biological. As a kid his parents almost killed him; Death saw this, decided it was fucked up, and decided to take in this small child as its own.

Johnny's teeth are just a little too white and his eyes a little too black sometimes. He’s got something akin to vitiligo after he received death’s blessing, and it outlines and mirrors the shape of his skeleton.

Butterflies follow him since he's death; unlike Pony, who has beef with the bees that follow him, Johnny enjoys their presence.

Doesn’t like to use his power much but (pre-jumping) absolutely will tell a soc with a flat expression when and how they’ll die.

He’d saved Darry from dying at the cost of Mr and Mrs Curtis’ lives. Initially, Darry had been planning to join their parents on the car ride to get the chocolate frosting; and Johnny had come over early to get away from home as they were getting ready to leave. He’d barely gotten to walk past the fae when he got the flashes occurred. Johnny watched everything— saw the crash, the way windows broke and metal crumpled inwards; watched the life drain from Darry’s eyes— and it freaked him out. He couldn’t for the life of him explain what he’d seen, but he wouldn’t let Darry leave; clung to him and wouldn’t let go.

Darry tried using his manipulation to get Johnny to let go, but it didn’t work, and that’s what stopped him from leaving. Their parents went alone, and it was the delay in waiting for Darry to come to the car that caused them to be on the tracks that day.

Johnny hasn’t forgiven himself for it. He thinks that maybe, he could’ve done something different and saved them all. He apologized for weeks— and still apologizes sometimes nowadays.

Johnny has never feared death, it’s hard to when you’re related to it yourself. When Bob died, he didn’t feel remorse until a few minutes after he was stuck there with the corpse. He's the boy of death, this is his normal- it’s only when his humanity returns that he realizes what he’s done.

The only time he's feared death was during/after the church fire. His power practically disabled itself due to how weak he was, and he was terrified. This was going to be it, he was going to lose his life at 16-- and then he woke up in the hospital.

While he was clinically dead, he spoke to Death. It was a simple interaction, just a reassurance that it was not his time to go yet. There was a feeling of comfort in their words, too.

Sometimes, when he sleeps, he sees Death again. One of the first times they'd spoken was when Darry was supposed to die. "Hey bud, that fae was supposed to die-" "No."

Before they could afford to get him mobility aids, Steve and Two helped him get around.

He's got a really uncanny feeling about him, people do not usually like it- Dally enjoyed it, though, 'cause he's fucking bonkers. It doesn't help that he doesn't blink.

He can easily float on the surface of bigger bodies of water because corpses float in water after they begin to decompose.

He's unnaturally cold like a corpse, the cold doesn't bother him because of that, but he does like feeling warm.

GAD, C-PTSD, and Autism. He's also selectively mute but is very vocal with the gang

Johnny still smokes, but being around the smell of smoke for too long makes him panic.

DALLY

Human, he’s the only one of the gang without a curse. However, he’s recently discovered a bit of an,, unsettling change to his daily life.

Dally's been seeing things. Apparations, spirits, whatever you want to call them. He'll see them in the corner of his eye and in certain circumstances can engage with them directly. He's not a fan of it.

Born in New York, moved to Tulsa when he was around seven; Two-Bit welcomed him with a stupid amount of enthusiasm and they’ve been buddies since.

He doesn’t talk about his birth family, no matter how much prompting there is. As far as he’s aware, Buck’s probably the closest thing he’s felt to an authority figure— at least until he grew older and colder, ignoring the role the adult had in his life.

He’s only capable of holding Two’s perching weight because he’s been doing it since they were kids.

He's very good at coping with his chirps too. Likes to whistle and watch that bitch shoot up and stare.

Dally tries his damn hardest to downplay how much Two (or any of the other greasers) mean to him. Vulnerability like that makes him feel too weak, and after having shown that weakness once, he doesn't plan to do so again.

Met Death while unconscious after being shot by the cops. The only reason he's alive is because Johnny would've been destroyed, and Death didn't want to deal with that shit.

Sometimes he feels a little weird about being the only human, but it's more out of a sense of not necessarily belonging there. It's an unconscious thought, one that only manifests in the rare moments when he realizes he feels just as out of place as he did in NYC. Dallas Winston is merely a boy who has never felt at home.

Dally, funnily enough, doesn't pass well as a human. Everyone outside the gang is convinced he's a vampire because he's so pasty and his canine teeth are naturally sharp.

He successfully convinced the gang that he could talk to and control rats. Two is the only person who knows he lied because he bought him a rat once and nothing happened.

He finds out through Two-Bit and Ms. Mathews that Fae can't lie and uses it to blackmail the Curtis bros, since nobody else knows that.

Yknow how he can see ghosts? One time he woke up on the Curtis' couch to Mr and Mrs Curtis in the living room. It freaks him out so bad that he unconsciously blocks them out right after. Blinks really hard a few times until they're gone.

He's the most feral of the gang. It's the New Yorker in him. He's not supernatural, sure, but he will fuck shit up. Absolutely off his rocker, launches people, and rocks their shit.

Dally's the one who found Two-Bit after he got jumped. He's so pissed ab what happened with Pony n Johnny that he wants some sick gratitude by seeing exactly where Bob took his last breath, so that’s where he finds him. He didn't know how to react, panicked HARD.

He's arguably the closest with Johnny and Two-Bit, he's just more open about that connection with Johnny. He's also pretty good friends with Darry, as there are a lot of little things they've found mutual ground on.

He's got claw scars littered around from the harpies. The ones from Two are due to the fucker dive-bombing down to grab him with his talons a little too fast, and the others are from fist-fighting Tim.

He called Ms. Mathews mom once and has not walked physically into the house since out of pure embarrassment. He doesn't even stand on the lawn that's how embarrassed he is by it all.

More general headcanon stuff fuck you but BPD, PTSD, intermittent explosive disorder, and ODD too.

Also a general headcanon but Two-Bit convinced him to get a tattoo during one of his own sessions for his sleeve, so he's got a little switchblade on the back of his leg.

He thought Two-Bit was having a heart attack the first time he heard how fast his heartbeat was.

Non-Canon but a fun fact. If he did die to the cops, he would've come back as a ghost.

ACE

Human, arguably the least passing as one, and she's got pyrokinesis - As usual, it's very self-explanatory. She can create and control fire with the mind, but there are a few limits to it. She can't produce large flames from her hands, and so she usually has to carry a lighter to kickstart her power if needed.

Ace can make very small fires on her fingers but they're not usually big enough to be manipulated. She can go larger as needed, but it'll drain her out. Likes to just light people's cigarettes and make the flame jump from finger to finger.

When she gets super pissed off, her hair sets on fire. The gang uses her to roast marshmallows sometimes.

Ace is unofficially adopted by Ms. Mathews. Shit's been reprised, it follows her canon backstory via Tilly, but she's still very very close with Two and is practically Ms. Mathew's kid.

On that note, has a very familial relationship with Two and his sister. They grew up together, how could they not be? They're absolute fucking chaos when paired, though. She likes to call him any bird other than a crow to see him puff up all annoyed.

She used to threaten to turn him into Thanksgiving dinner if he kept pestering her.

Absolute fucking goblin. She has tried so hard to convince Cherry to help her burn half of the soc's houses down. "We'll spare yours don't worry!!" "N..No."

She can't really swim and it could arguably kill her if she's in water for too long, but if she's mad the water will boil away.

VERY warm by nature for obvious reasons, literally a space heater. Pony flocks to her in the winter because she's so warm

Looks the least human of the humans. She's got horns underneath her hair that are still growing more, and her hands are coated pretty permanently in ash. She gives off a subtle glow and her eyes/teeth look way too bright in the dark. Her eyes burn brighter when she's upset.

Normal headcanon but arguably has the second-worst criminal record in the gang.

She feels very guilty about her power due to how much trauma the others in the gang have gone through relating to it.

Unrelated to the AU itself but she's a lesbian. IDGAF what anyone says.

Ace infatuates Two-Bit by putting on a ring and waving her fire fingers in front of his face. The fire's light bouncing off it makes it look extra shiny, she uses it to get him to do stuff for her. "Oo oo you wanna buy me a Pepsi soooo bad"

Literally just bullies him. They have no clue who's older because Ace doesn't know her birthday but she's self-titled him as her little brother.

Couldn’t control her powers as a kid, the gang is quite literally the first group of people who understood that and didn’t isolate her because she kept accidentally burning them when she got too excited (its emotions tied to an extent, hence why she’s started only channeling it by bottling up her anger until she needs to burst)

If Ace uses her power too much she quite literally burns out. Can’t use any part of it for days and is super fucking exhausted. Winter is her absolute beloathed because it’s a pretty similar feeling she gets. She's very susceptible to frostbite.

She used to make jokes about burning Two’s wings off whenever he’d bother her. For a good while she’s way too afraid of even being close to him after his jumping because she doesn’t want to hurt him with her flames. Two trusts her in full even after the accident but her ass is NOT taking any risk, he thinks he pissed her off somehow for a while until it clicks when he watches her extinguish whatever little flame she’s fidgeting with on her fingers the second he walks in. “I trust you." (wearily) “Should you?”

PTSD and ADHD, along with some pretty bad sensory issues & maybe Pica.

Had a really toxic situationship with Bev. She couldn't see the red flags until Bev harmed one of her own. Their relationship was broken off the mere second she found out who hurt Two. Literally blew up at Bev and burnt herself out due to being so fucking angry. It parallels Paul's "Why would I like a freak like you" towards Darry with Ace telling Bev "I can't believe I loved a monster like you."

Rarepair/Crackship time. Ace x Cherry is canon. We call them Fireworks. They're very slow burn. Cherry needs to come to terms with her feelings and Ace needs to trust another soc again after what happened with Two n Bev.

OTHER CHARACTER THINGS

All of the Shepards are Vulture harpies.

Paul and Cherry of two of the only socs with powers. Cherry's got something akin to electrokinesis and makes little sparks with her hands similar to the way a bomb with a lit fuse would behave. Paul's a witch, but his manifested pretty late; probably post-rumble.

Cherry's fingertips are calloused from her sparks, and she's got a bit of resistance to fire. Her hair sparks like a bomb/fireworks when she gets super pissed off. Ace has tried to weaponize this for the silly.

She tries to hide her sparks. Wears gloves to keep them down and if she has to have them off will clench her fists, even if it burns her.

She's desperate to be good enough to her parents. They're ashamed of her due to her sparks, and all she wants is their approval.

Cherry's got major internalized homophobia for a while, very comphet. Eventually, she comes to terms it.

Paul tweaked the fuck out at first and had a panic attack before realizing he kinda fucked with it. Still has a huge bias against the greasers, though. It's something close to a god complex, but he just thinks he's superior due to his financial status as well. He's just got basic shit like rituals and spells.

Was convinced Darry was using his power on him when he confronted him about the Fae having loved him, cause he cried. It wasn't a heavy cry, just a bitter stare, "Why would I like a freak like you?", and silent tears. Darry still doesn't know how to feel about that.

(9/18 Edit: Take the Paul stuff ab his relationship to the greasers with a grain of salt, we’re changing stuff)

The only reason it's tolerance and not raw hate is because Paul was NOT in on Two being burned 💀Turned around to see Bev with her light and was just like "Well I guess we're cooking chicken tn????"

The socs who jumped Two wear his stolen feathers. The only socs with neat feathers are Cherry and Marcia.

Two's little sister (who I call Molly) once asked their mom (who I call Carolyn) why they couldn't give Two-Bit their molted feathers to 'fix his'

Ms. Mathews has pretty much adopted the entire group emotionally by now. She tries to help Darry with financials but Darry is. Darry.

MISC STUFF

Two-Bit used to get caught in and fly around tornados and Pony always caught sight of that shit. They liked to play a game where he tried to catch him while Two avoided his vines. If they couldn't get him down, Pony would get Soda to ask Steve to use his telekinesis bc Steve would say no if Pony asked.

They also play a game where Steve will fling a member of the gang as far as he can and Two dives after them. It's like fucked up football; Dally offered to be thrown and it was the most fun the three have had-- until they had to stop 'cause Darry caught them and almost had an aneurysm.

The DX windows used to be blank and empty but Soda and Steve started putting stuff up on them so the harpies don’t slam into the glass.

Steve puts Two-Bit in air jail if he tries snatching anything shiny from himself or Soda.

Two, Johnny, and Steve bond over having shitty fathers. Two n Steve do it the most since Johnny doesn’t like to talk about it, but Steve and Two will bitch to hell and back. Johnny's a part of the conversation but just nods and listens. If they have a rough day with their dads, the three of them end up hanging out together.

Johnny, Dally, and Two make people the most uneasy. Johnny's got these blank, dead eyes, Two's smile feels predatory, and Dally's Dally.

All the greaser Harpies look out for one another. It doesn't matter if they're not from the same gang, or if their gangs have tension; you look out for one another. They may necessarily not be each other's flock, but it’s natural for them to stick together.

The harpies love to play fight. They will absolutely beat the shit out of each other and then grab lunch as if nothing happened. All of the harpies have bird habits. Most of them sleep on their stomach.

Dally took something shiny out of Two's hands when they were kids, and Two cried.

Ace makes fun of Two-Bit's choice of men because they're lesbian and bisexual solidarity. "Thoughts?" "And prayers, you'll need them." The only time she ever was like ‘Wow you made a good pick’ was when he jokingly said it about Darry. "Thoughts?” “Your only good pick, He’s got my blessing.” ">:0"

During the real cold months when Darry has to decide between heating or food on the table, Two and Ace practically move in bc a walking blanket and space heater.

{ Tags List: @nova-drawzz @timewing06 }

[tiktowafel]

personal lore dump for Shihai Kuroiro!! (where i'm probably a little mean to him but it's out of love guys i swear)

verrry late for his birthday but it's here!! :] love this kid. so many thoughts about him to share

i'll just start with the part that i find the most important - the core of his character, to me, is that he is not what he says he is and not what he desperately tries to convince himself and everyone else that he is.

i'm mostly basing this off of how ultra analysis gives him one of the two lowest wits scores in his class (as shown above) despite the fact that he calls himself "the scheming hero" and spends half his joint training match dramatically talking about trickery and psychological traps - while i like to ignore canon sometimes, this little piece of information is something i could never disregard. it's so endearing to me, plus him apparently trying really hard to seem way cooler than he actually is fits with the chuunibyou archetype he's supposed to represent.

severe headcanon territory & a generally slightly lengthy textpost under the read more lol

now, why do i hc he's that way in the first place? well, basically: his whole life he's admired underground heroes very strongly and ended up developing this very idealized mental picture of the perfect underground hero - a mysterious lonely mastermind who hides in the shadows and avoids the spotlight, quietly pulling all the strings and relying on plans and schemes instead of a powerful quirk and flashy moves. but despite all the dirty tricks they're capable of, their heart is in the right place - in fact in a way their motivations are far more noble than those of all the popular celebrity heroes, because they don't care about fame or recognition, they act out of a genuine want to do good. this is what Kuroiro aspires to be and what he bases his entire persona on, pretty much.

and that's because this is also the only kind of hero he could ever identify with - he was always an odd, withdrawn kid who had trouble making friends. he couldn't see himself in all those shiny charismatic always-in-the-spotlight heroes that everyone else seemed to love. so when he learned about underground heroes, he fell in love instantly and decided this is who he wanted to be, over time forming this perfect underground hero image to set as his goal.

except, again, a lot of traits possessed by this ideal of a hero aren't really in line with what Kuroiro himself actually is. he's nowhere this badass. he's nowhere this smart. he kinda sucks at this whole scheming thing actually! he's sneaky, sure, that's by nature of his quirk - but his schemes are way less elaborate than he likes to make them seem, most of the time they're just ways for himself to catch people off guard. he doesn't have the multi-step coordination-based planning capablity of Kendo or Tokage, the adaptability of Honenuki or the sheer sophistication of Monoma (note that almost all of 1-b's plan during joint training match 2 was invented by Kendo and Kuroiro's only strategic contribution was tricking 1-a into thinking he was gonna target Tokoyami so he could ambush Aoyama instead - which is something yeah but still nothing particularly complicated). and he hates that about himself, because intelligence is something that he values and admires so so much - so he exaggerates his strategic prowess a lot, with his hero title and dramatic speeches and all, and does everything in his power not to be perceived as stupid (often failing miserably). it's out of insecurity.

he's also not that much of a lone wolf, either. he does have a strong tendency to isolate himself from others, which is partially because he's convinced himself that he's destined to walk a lonely path in life & content with it (what's a better way of coping with your childhood loneliness than romanticizing it) and partially because the fact that he's constantly putting up a facade does by itself kinda prevent him from forming proper relationships, BUT he's not really happy this way. he's introverted but ultimately not meant to be alone. he does need friends! and he does wish for a romantic relationship, too! but, of course, he sucks at managing those feelings, as we can judge by his interactions with Kinoko and his general incapability of normally talking to girls mentioned in ultra analysis.

i actually really like that he has a crush on Kinoko specifically because it plays really well into everything that i said earlier in this post! remember that something he admires a lot about underground heroes is that they don't care about fame and recognition, and therefore in his view have the most genuine motivations? i like to believe that odd as it is, he actually has a very strong moral compass and greatly values selflessness. so, imagine how he feels when he learns that Kinoko, whom he already has a crush on because she's cute and she's nice to him and she has a really cool quirk (something something mushrooms like darkness so they must be meant to be), wants to be an idol hero. bro's devastated. those people are the epitome of modern hero society's shallowness and superficiality, and she wants to be one! she apparently wants to spend her precious time doing silly little dance routines and shaking people's hands at conventions instead of dedicating it all to proper hero work! and Kuroiro still has a crush on her! that witch...!

and you see, Kinoko isn't actually a shallow person. what motivates her to become and idol hero isn't selfishness (refer to my old Kinoko headcanon list - some things in there are a tiny bit outdated but my headcanon on why she wants to be an idol is still the same!). except Kuroiro doesn't get to know that at first so he remains bewildered and conflicted for quite some time - and i just think that's funny y'know? he eventually learns more about her (second hand, they don't directly talk to each other much, in canon i think Kinoko doesn't even pay much attention to him in general 😭) and starts to change his mind, probably falling even harder in the process - but still the whole thing is complete disaster on his side. he was always shy around her, now there's also... all this, no wonder he can't talk to her at all!!

so, to sum it up: Kuroiro is intense, he's surprisingly idealistic, he's tragically insecure, and he has some very rigid ideas about himself and the world around him that he probably needs to let go of. he's just a mess of a teenager with a lot of to figure out - and he does figure it out, he does get his happy ending eventually! (a conversation with Kinoko, among other things, is something that definitely would be a crucial part in his,, character arc, i guess? and y'know what, while i do really like them as a couple, i think them just getting to talk things out is a "happy ending" regardless of whether they end up together)

OH and by the way: i'm not saying that he's like, going against himself at all times! he's not an actual master schemer or a complete lone wolf but a lot of things about how he acts are perfectly genuine. his affinity for all things dark is genuine, his interest in taboos is genuine, and his love for theatrics is also genuine! in that matter, it's actually not a phase lol he's just like that :] would be blasphemous to say otherwise, that's what we all love him for..!

aaand this concludes my little essay about one of my favorite 1b kids!! the picture of him that i have in my head is very clear, that's why he's the first character that i chose to write this kind of post about - i'm just pretty confident about the hcs i have for him haha. i'm also thinking about writing a more lighthearted list of hcs to complete the vision (ya know, like the good ol days) because there's STILL so much that i haven't shared since it didn't fit this post - so stay tuned for that if you enjoyed this!! see you next month probably

[lemonandlime22]

No place like home...

Word count: 2.2k

Warning(s): Slight B6 spoilers, angst, believed character death?, slight gore mentioned in like one sentence

A/N: Based on this post, I've been wanting to write this for so long and I finally remembered lol. Don't ask abt the title just made sense in my head and im not changing it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sky was dark, it was early afternoon but no one would have been able to tell due to the thick dark grey clouds that covered every inch of the sky above this prestigious school. The sun seemed long gone with not a single ray making it through those clouds. The only source of light for the students and staff was the large overbloted beast with a mane of blue fire right in the middle of what used to be the prestigious Night Raven Collage.

Everything was in rubble, a mess with every step you took, and large fires that were scattered all throughout. It looked like a war zone, and might as well have been. Most of the student body had been evacuated to the other side of Sage Island long ago, and most of the staff stayed behind to take care of the destructive beast. A handful of students refused to leave, most insisting they could help. 

Among these students was a first-year friend group, one of which was the magicless student that had lived in the abandoned dorm with the once small fiery beast. 

Most of the first years earnestly instructed Yuu to evacuate with the rest of the students to RSA, but they refused, Grim was their closest friend if not family. They'd be damned if they were going to leave him when he was like this. Their friends soon gave up, they knew there was no point trying to change Yuu's mind when they had it set on something. But they made sure to keep them close so they'd be protected.

So many people were on the ground injured, all covered in bruises and burns from either being swatted at by the beast or just nearly dodging its fire. The more of those people Yuu recognized the bigger that feeling of dread and fear grew in their gut. 

They saw so many upperclassmen just scattered around, like Cater that had been staying in the back but went just close enough to be able to cast a spell, but was hit with Grim's fire before he could do a thing and was knocked out when he hit the ground. Yuu could identify a few more people, they saw Ruggie's ear twitch as he laid face down, they couldn't tell if it was Jade or Floyd but they saw bright teal hair peeking out from the other side of some rubble. 

Yuu knew they couldn't fight, they were basically useless in this battle, and like all the other overblots, a burden. They decided to make themself useful by trying to get as many of the injured somewhere safe as they could. They might not be the strongest but they are still capable of carrying someone.

"Epel! Come with me!" 

"W-what!? I'm kinda in the middle of somethin' here!" 

"Just come here, you're going to help me get these guys to a safer place!" Though the two were barely 15 feet apart they could hardly hear the others voiceover the beast's constant cries whether it was of pain or rage was unbeknownst to any. 

But Epel understood what Yuu was getting at as they tried to pull Ruggie's unconscious out from some rubble and onto their shoulders. He soon followed his friend's lead and started using his unique magic to help carry more people at once. Neither Epel nor Yuu could see each much other, mutually agreeing to spread out so the injured could get to safety faster. 

Yuu searched just off to the side in between two larger pieces of rubble, it was hard to see much of anything while inside. It was far darker than they had expected, Yuu could barely see an inch in front of them let alone the stray fireball coming straight for the pieces of concrete that leaned up against each other. 

The magicless prefect only had a moment to realize what was happening and what was going to happen, just long enough to realize they wouldn't be able to avoid it. But it was still just a moment, a moment that was soon over and replaced with pitch-black darkness. The sounds of Grim's powerful roars, spells being cast, and orders being barked, quickly came to halt only to be replaced with... an alarm...? 

*Beep*  *Beep*  *Beep* 

Yuu shot up, nearly falling off their bed. Wait- bed!? Why would they be in their bed? Is- is this some type of afterlife or something? They turned the alarm off and sat on what on what they weren't to sure was their actual bed for what felt like hours before slowly sliding off it, weary of whatever had happened. They slowing began to feel around the room to see if this was truly real or just some sad dream. When they finished, they stumbled back, very unsettled by the acracy, they didn't want it to be real. No wait- yes, yes they did want this. 

But if so then why was there such a deep pit in their stomach? They pushed that thought to the back of their head, they needed to focus on building the courage to walk out the door. What if their family was there? How would they face them after they had been gone for so long? Or did any time pass at all? Yuu's room looked the same so maybe..? 

Yuu scanned the room once more just to make sure, and sure enough, everything was just how they left it. The clothes they had absentmindedly tossed around the room just hours before they were thrown into Twisted Wonderland were still scattered all around, and in the same condition they were before they left. Nothing had gotten substantially more dusty or anything that would show being abandoned for a year. Then again their family could have kept it clean... 

As they thought of the possibilities a dreadful thought came to mind, what if it was a dream? A painfully realistic dream. Yuu had heard of baby/family dreams before which are dreams where you build a whole life and family years into the future. Could Twisted Wonderland just have been one of those? But- no... that- that can't be it... can it? Can all the relationships they built and the trauma they went through really just be a realistic dream!? 

Yuu began to panic at the thought and quickly began to search their body for any proof that the past year was real. They needed it, it had to have been real! They had woken up in their pajamas so there was no chance there was any material possessions were on them. Any one of the many scraps and scars from their time in that school would be more then enough. 

But... there was nothing... they looked over and over but still... nothing. No scars no scrapes. Nothing. Tears of frustration and desperation bleared Yuu's vision, they didn't know what to think.

Was it really all just a dream...? 

The smoke slowly began to clear as the small fires were put out. The sky could almost be seen again, but it had grown a darker blue since the last time anyone on Sage Island had seen it. The battle had ended just barely an hour ago, the injured were being treated and those who were well enough were helping where they could. Grim miraculously survived his overblot, though he was unconscious and heavily injured. The staff of both NRC and RSA began discussing what should be done with him once he is well enough. Most of the uninjured were helping with the rubble and looking for more people.

Among these uninjured were some first years, but they were looking for one person in particular, the magicless Ramshackle prefect.  Jack did his best to keep everyone calm but they were all quite frantic a worried, you were magicless and had no means of protecting yourself during this disaster. Epel was possibly the most frantic having been the last to have seen them. Eventually as the hours past, Yuu was the only person unaccounted for and many had joined the search. Luckily there hadn’t been any casualties so far but many were starting to worry that would change. 

Riddle was the one that came across the tattered scolded piece of ceremonial robes that stuck out from under a large piece of rubble that lay flat on the ground with another large piece leaning on it as if they had been leaning up on each other before they fell. Riddle began to panic and called others around over for help to lift up the two pieces of concreate.

He had hoped it was just a ripped piece of the robes, but to his and the other's deep dismay, it was the full outfit with small splatters of blood lingering on it. Leona, one of the others that came to help lift the rubble, was very confused. This was way too little blood for someone who was crushed, actually, there was no viscera of any sort, save for the small spatters that could be easily explained away by getting scrapped or having a nosebleed. He was far from the only confused one either, after a moment of panic Riddle quickly realized the same, along with the others that helped. 

So they continued the search, and for days as they cleaned and repaired the school they kept a keen eye out for the missing student. But no, not a thing. 

The only thing left of Yuu was the robes, which Crowley cast a spell to concurred that it was in fact the prefects clothes. Everyone was confused, it was as if Yuu had just disappeared inro thin air.

Ace and Deuce refused to accept any answer other than Yuu being alive somewhere in Twisted Wonderland. Even going so far as to say the Mirror was wrong and that they did have magic and they used teleportation magic or something! And other very outlandish explanations like that. Epel, Jack, and Sebek were far more reasonable than the Heartslabyul duo but still had many questions and were shocked by how quickly the situation changed. First, they had to worry about how to stop and save Grim, then how they were going to stop Yuu from fiercely protecting Grim from whatever punishment he would receive from the headmasters. Then... how they would have to explain to the fiery beast that his dear friend Yuu might be dead.

And now, well they haven’t told him anything about what was happening since he woke up 4 days after the incident. Thankfully he woke up with zero memories of what happened. The first years refuse to allow anyone to even mention his overblot to him, at least not until they get any kind of answers or are able to find Yuu. 

And until that time comes, if it ever will, Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, and Sebek all do their damnedest to keep both headmasters and the possible authorities off Grim’s back. Ace insists that Yuu knew Grim the best and should be here to defend him before any type of legal action is taken.

Eventually, too much time passes with no sign of the prefect there is no other way to take it than the passing of the young student. And Grim... he inevitably found out what had happened, his overblot and Yuu’s disappearance, or possible death. 

I’d be lying straight through my teeth if I said he took it well, how could he have? His closest friend and only family was probably dead and just cause he didn’t want them to leave him! 

Grim wasted no time running away, whether to find Yuu or just escape the headmasters and authorities no one knows. . .

Yuu’s family was worried, Yuu was perfectly fine, acting normal one day, then acting weird and out of it the next. But not just the next, they were acting like that for weeks. They would talk to and spend time with their friends and family but it never seemed like they were actually there, as if they were constantly off in another world. Every time someone asked what happened they would just brush them off saying everything was fine. Yuu began buying strange things, old warn books in Latin and other seemingly ancient languages, but also, so.. So many mirrors. That's all you could see in their room, just so many mirrors ranging in so many different sizes and shapes. Some had even been smashed, but Yuu refused to throw any of them away. 

There was one mirror that they recently got ahold of though, it seemed to have enthralled them. They barley said a word anymore, let alone leave their room. The mirror was a large classic oval mirror, just over half the size of Yuu. It had a gold rim with intricate snake designs around each of the sides and a crown at the top. Truly nothing too special, you could find it at almost any antique store, but it was all Yuu cared about anymore. 

All they did, day in and day out, was stair at the mirror as they cried. Sometimes Yuu’s family could hear faint begging coming from the teen’s room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[vumming]

alice in borderland — imagine w/ the male characters

contents : friends to lovers, mini story, suggestive af, kinda soft, nsfw ( for mature audiences only )

I HAD THE STRONG URGE TO TYPE "good girl/boy" anyway I'm going back to work.

“Can I tell you something? I've liked you since the beginning.”

Thump.

Thump.

“As do I.”

Lust. It burns every fiber of rationality the more you try to extinguish it. Love, it creeps as slow as it can, and cannot be identified before it is too late.

Like—why do you like him? You find yourself wondering as you gaze upon the man before you. A friend, you once called him. There was a reason for the closeness and connection you both had built.

Too close or too loose?

This friendship that's budding another flower—was it even platonic at the beginning?

Deep breath, tight heart, throbbing feels. Hands coming to cover your budding arousal. His hand grazed your neck, stopping—and you pray to anyone who can hear that he cannot hear your quick breathing and rapid heartbeat.

“Are you nervous?”

It was supposed to be an innocent hang out, a movie at his place. but it seems fate has other things at hand.

Intentional. Fiery palm trailing from the side of your neck, down to your shoulder, stopping to your arm. “Am I making you nervous?” His whisper is tickling on your ear.

“Since back then,” He blows a small puff on your ear and you can feel him smile as you flinch at the sudden air, “I've been dreaming of having you as my own.” Calloused hand drags sideways, meeting in the middle, where your collarbone is.

He taps, “And now, I have you for myself.”

The other, makes it way to your stomach, “Would you like me to stop?”

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

“No.”

And he grins. “Your wish, is my command.”

ㅤ

ㅤ

Loose yourself to the rhythm.

Feel the thunderous beat of every veins and breath in the magic. In a world so constricting, it's no wonder everyone must go out and let it all out.

Lips all over your skin and blazing contacts of warm hands travel, further and further. Pads of the fingers pin down all of the spots that sends ecstasies of shivers, mewl of pleasure and groan of satisfaction. The noise from the outside world simply became a background buzz as your hearing became static, too lost in the euphoric treasure it gives.

“Enjoying yourself, hun?” he purrs, wet lips drawling lines across your navel, eyes dropping to your expression as he drown and feels himself immersed in the constant change of your face.

“Don't stop..”

His throat swells and release a breathless chuckle, lifting himself from his position to close in on your dazed look. “Oh I won't.” Head tilted with a smirk lining his features.

“But I do want to hear you beg.”

His fingers drags themselves painfully slow in your walls and you find yourself panting at the feeling. “Please.” Whimper comes out of your lips, trying hard to chase release.

But in and out, he sticks to his words. “I can't hear you, louder.” The ministration halt right in time as his voice comes out, “Please.. Please Don't stop!”

He huffs in amusement, resuming the work as he closes the distance, chaste and quick steal of a kiss before they go down, down, down.

“Good.” He drawls.

He lick a stripe on the middle of your chest, “That's my pretty baby, always listenin' to me.”

Higher, faster, quick—light dims and spots began to appear, how many times have you done it? How much time has passed? You couldn't tell, not with how hot the room is, how warm his mouth is, how precise his touches are.

Everything is nothing, and this, became everything. “You earn it, don't you?” Words utter lightly with pants in-between. “My pretty baby, all spread out like this.”

“I'm kind to you because you're too pretty for me to handle, yeah?” But you couldn't reply. Bite. Not enough to draw addictive red, but enough to cause a bit of flame on your chest.

Suck. It's soothing, your perception of stimulation went high, blurry as they can get. Skin touch sensitive for the past hours it has started.

“Don't you..” It's a bit jumbled, the words, and he seems to have realized, popping off of your chest with a satisfied look on the mark before they trail down, “Don't you fall asleep on me now before we finish, a'ight?” He chuckles, fingers wet in slick and fluids, “After all.”

“We still have more to try.”

[sk3l3t0n444]

I'm going through my 2014 Sims 4 hyperfixation and all of the default cas Sims have lore and like half of them are married to someone but all of them have their maiden name (which is great for my lore head. Ts4 has given me so many maiden names for Sims that would have never had any) but it makes me think about who would have each last name.

Babs L'Amour+Ollie Purdue = L'Amour-Purdue

Amber Stein+Armand Diaggrio= Stein

June Kay+Steve Fogel = Fogel.

It is so hard to think tho cause these are such important Sims in the series. They're legit on every promotion from early development.

Also babs and Ollie canonically have 3 kids, but they're also canonically a baby and 2 kids. But this was before toddlers so in my head they're younger (child toddler and infant) but it goes against the lore and one of the things that makes me the most pissed is when people disobey the minute amount of lore we have in the Sims 4. Like stop. I need advice.

Like her kids are also objectively ugly and should be ignored I can also identify where they live and I objectively don't like it so I'm breaking more lore and I genuinely don't know what to do

The Sims 4 is my fnaf lore istg. These damn kids don't even have names. (I've named them male female and baby.) also their kids can't happen in the Sims 4 because Ollie would never have that white ahh baby and Babs canonically would never cheat on him. She saw him and her heart melted instantly and he convinced her to follow her dreams and she wrote romance novels about them.

um my brain retained none of that information except for white baby like nooo whilte baby you cant be saying that anyways one of (if not) the most confusing things in fnaf is the security logbook, specifically the foxy grid where people theorized it would reveal the crying childs name. previously people got the name evan out of it but the method was kinda all over the place but for a while its all we really had. until about a week ago when someone got evad out of the foxy grid instead of evan. at first glance it seems like a dead end but throughout the book it tells you to reflect a lot and theres a picture of a mirror and when you reflect evad you get dave! and it actually means a lot because william afton used dave as an alias to do his evil murder shit. like the narrative satisfaction of him using his dead sons name to try and "put him back together" just seems so "bittersweet fitting" to reference one of scraptraps lines in fnaf 6

[il-predestinato]

hi!! i'd like to ask for your advice. i'd really like to have some mutuals (not sure if the term is correct) or like people here on tumblr or on twitter i can talk with about f1 and lestappen. the problem is that i usually don't interact with posts (apart from liking them) on any social media platform becasue i'm really anxious and insecure about stuff like this so that makes it a bit hard. i've been thinking about dming people but idk what to write because i'm worried it will come off as weird or lame. (((i just hope this message won't be like that))) my question is how do you start a this kinda conversation? do i just ask them if they want to talk or like.. ? i'm really sorry if this sounds stupid or something but i have absolutely zero skills in online interactions and you seem really nice and i hope it's okay that i reached out🫶🫶

Of course, it's always okay to reach out in my inbox!

I think lestappies are generally an inclusive and welcoming bunch of people, and many of us totally identify with the same insecurity with online interactions! I know I certainly do - as many times I see a post or tag and just want to ramble my love or my thoughts at that person but was too shy to put myself out there.

There is a lestappen discord community that you can join. I'm not sure how active it is (I haven't been on there too much; I just find it easier to talk to 1-4 people at a time! 😅), but it might be a good place to chat and make friends.

One awesome thing about tumblr is you can reblog and use tags without 'forcing' any interaction back. I've literally made friends on the basis of their reblog tag wall of thoughts on my posts, or my reblog tags on their posts. And yes, I can guarantee you that every. SINGLE. OP. loves reading the reblog tags. 🤣

I also think DMing (or Inbox Asking) people is totally fine! To be honest, I wish people did that more! I actually LOVE hearing from people who love the same things I do. I can't speak for everyone, but I think it's far from weird or lame. It's more like "omg someone wants to chat with me about lestappen?! that's amazing!"

As for starting a conversation, my go-to used to be "I just read your fic and it's fucking amazing...." I entered the lestappen fandom as a fic writer a few years ago (yes, shocking I know, *hides my current google doc folder with >100 pages of unfinished lestappen wips shamelessly*), so I know how much that means to writers, and even if I've left kudos and a comment already, sometimes I just want to reach out and tell them how much their story blew me away, made me zone out on the drive home, etc. And really it can be anything that is common ground - "saw your tags on that lestappen post - max is down SOOOO bad, right?!" "your gifset of the press conference was beautiful!" etc, etc.

I hope you enjoy your time and experience on lestappenblr! 😉

[rjmhereunderprotest]

The Polly/Oz Shipping Post for Personal Mental Well-Being

It's been one of those past couple days, and frankly I'm in need of a break from... well a lot of thoughts. I've not been absorbing some stuff well. I'd normally slip into Gwenpool stuff, but at the moment that's kinda being a mental drain. So, I need to focus on something positive and happy and anything that makes me smile and- oh look Polly and Oz of Monster Prom!

For something that is not technically canon in any respect, because Monster Prom's canon is whatever the hell you want it to be relationship wise, Polly and Oz have always spoke to me as the S-Tier Romance of the game. Sure, many people ship Oz with Damien and Polly is... well I'm not sure who is preferred. I've noticed at least one person goes REALLY hard for Polly and Vicky. Regardless both and all Monster Prom ships, regardless of popularity are equally valid. This isn't a definitive statement about canon because right now canon isn't always the answer for me. Even though a lot of Monster Prom's promotional material likes to show Polly teasing Oz in an overtly flirty manner, that isn't a definitive statement about the creator's preferences. They've had Oz decide to date Zoe in a Monster Road Trip trailer, it means nothing. (Although Zoe is fricking awesome and is my second romance choice behind Polly) What matters most in Monster Prom, at least to me, is emotional connection and compatibility. I think it's the same for, well, frankly a lot of ships.

So this is a bit of Fandom Mentality self-care where I talk about why I've written in my mind that Polly and Oz make the most sense for romantic partners. Because I love them a lot and I find them cute and I think it just makes sense. So... let's start.

So, Oz... why do I main Oz so much is probably the real question I should be asking myself? Maybe because they fit the most with me and my high school experience. Oz is an extreme introverted, nervous social outcast. Everything about his dialogue and actions we can see him doing in the game suggests he is a mega nerd, a good student and, quite frankly, at the bottom of the Spooky High totem pole. Like I was.

I'm not a Vicky who was bold and outgoing, I'm not a Brian who was aloof and tried to coast, I'm certainly not Amira, the fiery bad girl. No, I was Oz, perpetually afraid of high school even as I took the work seriously but constantly wanted to get out of there because it was a fucking pressure cooker!

The difference between me and Oz is obvious, THEY are some kind of amorphous shadow creature who, apparently, is the embodiment of fear. He's probably older than even Liam. He's quite possibly super powerful. And his little imaginary friends who he uses to try to cope are real, they're those little phobias who pop up around him and do cute things. And yet, they choose to be THIS, they choose to be this scared high schooler who is insular, lonely looking and desperate for love/affection. At the very least he seems to WANT acceptance. Like most of the super thirsty monsters among the main characters of the game. I identified with that a lot. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, he's clearly lonely and probably not always in the best place mentally as he tries to navigate a high school that he probably doesn't need to be in. Honestly, none of the monsters need to be there though, I mean... they don't exactly LEARN anything there as far as I can tell. I'm not even sure if they have a full staff of teachers or if most of them are just jokes.

So I've always just seen Oz as my closest facsimile to my High School experience, at least in terms of how it felt, terrified of everything and wondering if I even belonged there. So while I like the other characters, Vicky and Brian especially, I always felt more connected to Oz as a result. I know this sounds like "He/They are Literally Me FR", but it's more... I just can more easily place myself into Oz's headspace and emotionally connect with him to a degree. I don't think I'd make all the choices he does, but I can certainly understand him the most out of all the characters in the cast.

When the eventual Monster Prom Reverse is released, I fully expect Oz's character will be better fleshed out. If he hasn't been already in those Monster Road Trip sequences where he can be a hitchhike passenger. This is mostly just my interpretation based on what I've seen. This is the unique thing about Monster Prom shipping when it involves anything with the MCs. A lot of it is speculation and, a little if not a lot, of self-insertion. So it's best to always keep that in mind. This is a dating sim after all, fantasy wish fulfillment is inevitable, it's something even the game criticizes about itself a lot. That a lot of this is very silly and stupid and unrealistic in terms of actually setting up a real relationship with someone, especially a romantic one. It's why it usually doesn't take itself too seriously. Which is epitomized by, who else...

Polly Geist, the ghost party girl who I'd call the face of Monster Prom if I didn't think Damian could arguably be just as much at this point, at least Tumblr wise. Polly is still super popular though and its easy to see why. She funny, fun, cool, extremely sex positive, her outlook is very progressive, lighthearted and she is herself... sexy as hell. She's just a really fun character and it's hard not to enjoy any of her scenes on their own.

Whether she's pulling pranks with Scott, (Well, mostly leading Scott into pulling pranks because the dude is too stupid and nice to know how to do them) starting food fights by flashing people, causing general mayhem in the pursuit of advancing the science of partying or scamming you into performing a nonsensical sex act, Polly is highlight of Monster Prom. Even when she's too drunk to know what's going on, or high, or drunk and high, Polly is the afterlife of the party... which goes on forever from her perspective because she's dead. And yet despite that she is the love interest in Monster Prom who loves life the most and refuses to not spend it to its fullest. You have to admire that level of extroverted joy.

But Polly is not a superficial party girl, she might be dead and therefore removed from all consequences of her lifestyle, but she isn't a shallow sex obsessed ghost. She has actual depth, probably the most out of the other main love interests, barring maybe Vera, but that's mostly because of her sisterhood with Valerie gives her some much needed motivation beyond just being an evil criminal mastermind/capitalist. (Although I imagine a few people would say there's little difference between the two professions) Polly's depth is ALL hers. Because this is the thing... Polly's Forever 22, Stupid and Partying attitude? It's a front.

Oh she doesn't actually HATE partying, sex or drugs. She loves and is ALL about that. That's as much who she is as anything, but she plays up the idea that she's an idiot... when she's far from anything. Polly is actually an accomplished MASTER Chess player, a highly advanced gaming skill level that requires a lot of forward thinking and strategizing. She really good at Chemistry, mostly because it enables to make her own drugs, but Chemistry is a highly analytical field involving math, problem solving and attention to detail. Her favorite field of study though is literature, Classic Russian Literature in the vein of Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. This is reflected in one of the Pre-Game Skill Boost choices, where the FUN option (Which is Polly personified) involves making a movie that has several of the most famous Russian Novelists going off on a Hangover-style adventure.

The point is, Polly isn't an idiot. She's actually highly intelligent... so why does she act like a fool? Because... she wants to. She wants to spend her afterlife how she most desires. That doesn't preclude her other interests of course, she still loves chess, chemistry and "War & Peace", but she's capable of more than just those nerdy pursuits. She pushes herself to remain highly socially, outgoing, never allowing her love of life to dim even in death. And she just doesn't want to advertise, I think, her more intellectual pursuits. Likely because she doesn't want to appear above all of that, as better than the people she cares about, because she does care about people.

Scott is probably her best friend, as a Fellow Prank Masterz (With a Z). And Scott IS an idiot, like a complete idiot. Look up the word Himbo in the dictionary and you find his face. He might be a lovable genuinely nice werewolf jock... but he is very clearly a dumbass. But Polly will spend time with him, why? Because she's enjoys his company, she enjoys being with him and pulling pranks. She never considers being more intelligent than him as something to lord over Scott. She might easily lead him into some situations, but she never wants to make him feel inferior to her.

And that attitude extends to other people, like Kale. You might know him as the plant guy, as well as the Asexual/Aromantic character of the game. He has no interest in sex or romance... but Polly hangs out with him and smokes weed with him anyway. When your character tries to seduce Kale (albeit you do not know he is an ace at the time) Polly is irate with you for making shit weird. It's very clear Polly understands and respects personal boundaries. She'll tease people, try to make them come out of their shells, open up, live a little... but if she knows that someone is not interested she won't push things. Kale is a friend and despite being a flirty party girl, she does not do anything to jeopardize that with him.

There's a lot I could on with about Polly honestly, her friends with benefits relationship with Faith of the Coven, her sunny friendship with the cold Vera, her seemingly really good organizational skills for setting up an Orgy... but at some point I'd just be arguing that Polly is best girl and that's not why we're here. I'd just wanted to lay this all out so we better understood who Polly is.

So why with Oz? I'd be lying if there wasn't some sort of wish fulfillment element to it. Like I said, a lot of dating sims fall into this category and Monster Prom doesn't pretend its any better, it's just trying to acknowledge it and offer a different take on it. So the idea of a popular party girl falling for a neurotic nerd who's afraid of everything is no doubt appealing to me on a personal level, but I like to think there's more to it. If only so my enjoyment of this pairing isn't completely concieted sounding.

Here's the deal, Polly's obvious flirting with Oz, pushing his buttons, taking an interest in him, is clearly an effort to get him to come out of his bubble and enjoy things. To not be so scared to live life. I don't think any of it is pushy though, it's mostly knowing looks, brushing her hands along sensitive spots, she's gentle about it. She never seems to be forcibly pushing Oz to leave his safe space, but urging him to try.

The idea that Oz would be willing to try, because this crazy hot ghost girl takes an interest in him is... well frankly cute in both respects. Him because he's willing to take a risk for personal self-growth. Her because she seems to be doing this without any concept of a reward. She's not overtly trying to get in his pants and I don't think she's maliciously messing with him, playfully yes, but she clearly doesn't have sinister designs to make a fool of him. She's just decided Oz could use the chance to escape his box and she'd like to be the lockpick... and knowing her she'd probably make that into innuendo, but that's just Basic Polly at that point.

But why would Polly be interested in Oz romantically? We can already discern why Oz would be. Polly is a sexy fun party girl, she seems to take an interest in him despite having the pick of the litter. Finding out her hidden depths would like only make Oz like her more, although I suspect he'd be concerned that he thought less of her for a bit. Ultimately Polly is designed, like all the love interests, to illicit this response with ANY of the main characters you can play as. The thing that makes it different, special with Oz is that his personality as the shy nerd boy makes their match with the outgoing party girl appealing aesthetically. But why would Polly be into Oz?

Well those hidden depths I mentioned are part of it to a degree. Polly's intellectual pursuits never held her back. She probably doesn't want the same for Oz. Although I feel their more calm, collected and less extroverted nature would give Polly an anchor that she probably sometimes needs. While she is good at knowing when to stop, what her limits are and should be, let's not kid ourselves, like everyone at Spooky High, Polly has a tendency to go overboard to an extreme degree. Like, one of her endings involves the literal apocalypse so... yeah. Polly could use a tether and she probably wants that to some extent. Both for reasons I'll explain soon and reasons I've already stated. Polly likes to know when she is crossing a line because she isn't outwardly malicious, she doesn't want to hurt people in her pursuit of fun. Polly only ever gets mad if you're ruining her fun by being boring or just by being a jerk to people she thinks don't deserve it. And Oz likely knows better at times what lines she doesn't want to cross herself.

Another part of it is who Oz is himself, besides seeing some things in him that are like her, Oz doesn't come across as the kind of person who would consider Polly as just another sexy girl they can bag. Oz very clearly respects Polly, that's what a lot of the point of the events that can lead to dating of the love interests in the game are about, respect. Respect for yourself and respect for the person you want to be with, understanding who they are and appealing to those aspects, showing you're willing to meet them at their level. In my mind, if anyone would respect Polly as a person rather than just a shallow sex kitten a lot of people sometimes see her as, it would be Oz.

And this is because... well Oz himself, or themself, isn't all they appear to be. They are, after all, the embodiment of fear. As I alluded to, Oz does not seem to fit in Spooky High in any sense. He's probably more of an Eldritch than even Zoe. At least Zoe has a recognizable form as basically an adorable version of some sort of Lovecraft Mythos Tentacle Beast. Oz is some sort of shadow creature. Some people have assumed he's like Slender Man or something to that effect. An SCP that's gone rogue and decided to attend high school. He should not be intimidated by anything here. Although I imagine, if anything could make a shadowy creature that is the living concept of fear itself quake in terror, it would be high school. Oz doesn't strike me as someone who sees people as what they are on the outside. Oh imagine he would be shocked to see how different Polly is on the inside, but he's not going to let that completely deter him. If nothing else I think Oz is a very determined shadow creature. Why would he keep up this appearance of a pathetic frightened geek? Maybe because he is genuinely frightened, maybe he has other motives, maybe he's just doesn't want to be defined by what the world says he has to be. But I am certain that, at the very least, he chooses to be what he is now as much Polly chooses to be what she is now. In a strange way, they're both seemingly living an afterlife... or different life.

As a sort of aside, there is something to be said on a mythic level too of a ghost, a spirit typically meant to evoke fear in people of the inevitability and permanence of death, and a creature that is the literal personification of fear itself, falling in love. A spirit that was once mortal and a being that has just always been since time immemorial. It's kinda like something out of Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" when you look at it in that respect. And I do like me some Sandman.

But if that's not enough to convince you of at least some substantive reason for why I like Polly and Oz together... well here we go. The one time Polly ever got serious feels most appropriate when it is connected to Oz rather than any other character, to me. Let's talk about the Locket.

The Locket is an Event Item you can unlock in Valerie's Store, like most of the added Event Items that were added in around the Holiday Season, it's meant to flesh out the love interests some. While they're not exactly lighthearted, Scott's deals with being abandoned as a pup, they're not exactly bereft of comedy either. But The Locket comes close. It starts out with the mysterious haunted inhabitant of the locket trying to share his sad story of lost love... and then Polly shows up and decides to hijack that whole plot as she do! Because she's gonna smoke it! Yeah, she's gonna literally smoke a locket and she wants you to join her. This leads to a few choices about responsible drug use, probably useful. Honestly if I ever did drugs I'd at least want to be safe about it.

However the good times of you enabling Polly's addictions is somewhat ruined by the untimely arrival of the Coven, Spooky High's pre-eminent supernatural hero squad in the vein of Charmed/Buffy, except not objectively terrible (Charmed) or written by an asshole. (Buffy) They're quick to do the usual "Just Say No" deal at Polly, wishing she wouldn't supplement her partying with constant drug use. Polly, dropping her usual fun façade, gets serious and lectures back. Insisting she is not being irresponsible... she's dead. And therefore nothing she does can hurt her and even regardless she practices safety first with her drug use. She is not any worse than someone who really enjoys a lot of chocolate and she is in control of her drug use unlike such people. "Drug Use, Not Abuse" she explains.

It almost works, the Coven actually respectfully admit that they're probably sticking their noses in a place they don't belong. Polly isn't stupid, she is responsible and more importantly she is already dead so it's not like she can really harm herself anyway. Then Polly lets it slip that the locket she's smoking contains the soul of a dead guy and they take issue with that. Smoking haunted artifacts is fine, but a clear line in their eyes is basically smoking a soul for your own benefit and possibly destroying said soul's afterlife. Polly is fed up playing nice and tells them to fuck off, because it's HER afterlife and she'll spend it how she wants. Making reference that she knows plenty about drugs because drug use was how she died. Joy, the Coven's leader, then makes a mistake. Thinking this is another bit of the ongoing gag of Polly making up how she died, she has a lot of them and this feels no different, but seemingly more insensitive by making drug abuse a joke. She tells Polly that maybe she wouldn't be so flippant about her drug use if SHE had been harmed by someone's use of drugs.

And this is when Polly loses her shit. The insensitivity of the comment sends Polly over the edge declaring the Coven, and by extension us who have mostly been silent during this whole exchange, have no idea what her life was like and what she's been through and declared that if this is how they're going to speak to her about how she lives her afterlife, fine! Fuck everyone! She's going to party... but not fun party.

Polly's in-game sprite art takes on a horrifying visage. Her eyes glow, her smile turns to a painful scowl, her rage seems to basically circle her head like something out of Poltergeist or the Exorcist. And she can only speak in all-caps rage about how she wants to keep partying forever. Her anger affects the school all around her, as the halls apparently fill with ghastly wails and flying objects. You can't even talk to her at the lunch break, she will beam Liam in the head with a chair just for "Um Actuallying" her. Liam kinda deserves it, so it's funny, but the rest of this is not.

The Coven, mostly Joy, realizing their mistake, enlist you to help them fix this. You can do this by either contacting Polly's mom or a creepy yet friendly psychic kid ala the Sixth Sense. Either way, a successful meeting ends the same way, this reaction really is related to how Polly actually died but if you want to know what happened you need to talk to Polly herself.

You find Polly huffing gas in the school basement, completely forgetting her "Drug Use, not Abuse" statement in favor of just outright indulgence. Joy and the Coven apologize best they can and say they want to understand, but Polly is indignant. Revealing that her death was caused by her father. He was the drug abuser in the family and he made life difficult for everyone. He didn't cause Polly's death deliberately, it was a car accident while he was under the influence, killing Polly, her mom, her little sister... but leaving her father alive. She had been using drugs herself at that age, but she tried to be responsible with them. Possibly as an attempt to connect to her dad, it's not outright said, but it's implied. And despite her being careful she still ended up dying anyway.

Polly at that point demands to know what crazy idiotic choice between two options are you going to pick to suddenly make all this shit better. And even the game admits that this isn't really the time to be funny and offers two options that are sincere, supportive and apologetic. If successful, it breaks through Polly's emotional episode and allows her to finally put herself at ease and come to terms with her feelings.

You might be wondering why the player has to do any of this. It wasn't YOU who stepped on Polly's incorporeal toes and shamed her. You didn't awaken any long buried trauma with insensitive speech. Well, no, but you were kinda enabling Polly's worst habits. Not the drug use, but not considering the harm she could cause to others through it, like smoking another person's soul. So, really you're sorta responsible for not checking Polly's worse tendencies, just letting her ride the haunted locket smoke train without trying to dissuade her because it's just Polly being Polly. So being honest and trying to reach her by admitting that you just want to hear her out or even just be there for her right now, no judgment or anything else, that's an important step here.

Polly of course fakes crossing over as a prank to show that she's back to her old self again and promises to be more mindful of her drug use from now on. But it's not all good. After picking Polly to go to Prom, she admits to the player that she still feels hurt and sad. That in her pursuit of living her afterlife to the fullest, she got caught up in the same mistakes her father made and she's not proud of it. Most importantly though, she admits that despite everything she doesn't hate her dad for what he did, she still loves and misses him. That a lot of her drug use was more about just trying to forget rather than confront these feelings, ignoring the pain rather than dealing with it. Being happy is great and all, but not at the expense of acknowledging when you're hurting.

In all honesty, I feel this ending works best with Oz. Because I can more readily see Oz empathizing the most with Polly in this moment. If anyone knows about hurt, it's a creature that embodies fear. And Polly has admitted to hers, feeling hurt. Oz being there for Polly, trying to show that this is okay, that being not okay is ok, makes the most sense for me. Polly doesn't want to hurt anyone because she knows what it's like to hurt the people you love. And Oz I feel knows a lot about hurt being what they are. And maybe through sharing that kind of pain, in confronting things like Polly encouraged Oz to do with his own fears, they can both be stronger people.

This isn't to say these scenes can't work with other characters, they're not built to only work with one of the MCs. But for me, a lot of Polly's stories and events, this one especially, ring the most true when it involves Oz.

I think the relationship between the two can and could be very endearing. Allowing both to actually confront their fears, center themselves and be better people in the end. Monster Prom's tagline is "Be Your Worst Self", a sort of play on words, but a lot of its romances are actually a play on that concept. The phrase is really about being true to who YOU are more than anything, that includes the worst parts of you. If Monster Prom is about anything it's about finding happiness with who you are before you can truly find happiness with another. And I feel something like PollyxOz stands the best chance of achieving that goal.

I don't want to pretend it's the only solution, of course it isn't, none of this as said before is meant to invalidate your love for Oz getting with Damian or Zoe or Miranda or Polly with Vicky or Brian or even Amira. (Although I feel like no one is beating AmiraxVera on that one) This is about what works for me and my rationalization, you are free to think differently of course. I would hope this at least better explained my preferences and perhaps even helped you a little with your own anxieties as it has mine today.

Well I suppose I should try and lead you to some more Polly/Oz content if you're interested. While I do have ideas for fanfics and there's plenty of art you can look up, I'd rather just send you over to Vanilla Chinchilla, who is probably more prolific and better artistically concerning this than I ever could be. Again, this stuff is all just me working through some junk. Plus their artwork, such as the comic panels right above this paragraph, is really cute and fun and I enjoy it a lot.

That's really all from me, if you've honestly stuck it out this long with me rambling about the romance of two monsters from a silly video game... well I applaud you I honestly don't know if this is really all that compelling. This was an exercise for my own sake, but like I said, I hope you got something out of it. At the very least, I've put something positive into this place rather than just ragging on it for crass reasons. Thank you for your time guys.

[maschotch]

idk if this is controversial but speaking of Reid girls n all that, i hate how forgotten Morgan gets since everyone seems to favour Reid. writing a mlm fic? it’s centred around Reid and Morgan is just sorta there, or maybe comforts Reid. need just one queer character? it’s Reid. a trans masc hc? it’s Reid again. and most of all,,, people making any kind of hurt/comfort or angst or whatever to do with csa… and they choose Reid. they make a head canon that he experienced csa, when Morgan literally canonically did, and everyone ignores that he did. and it’s fine to have a favourite character and all that, but it’s… disproportionately skewed in favour of the skinny white boy, yk? it feels so off to me. and also how people seem to totally forget about Morgan’s experiences. idk

aldhskdh it’s definitely controversial but youre so so right for it?? i feel like a lotta people just… ignore morgan. it wouldnt feel as purposeful or malignant if they didnt give the exact things morgan deals with to reid?? the same thing kinda happens w hotch, where people obsess over reid so much that it overshadows the places where they’re similar (like hotch being a nerd or autistic hotch or transmasc hotch) but even then, at least he’s got the hotchgirls to balance it out. where are the morgangirls?? where are they??

it seems like such a waste that morgan gets sidelined as the himbo jock football guy when the writers went out of their way to let us know that’s not who he is?? it’s the one time i think the writers actually did good in comparison to the fandom: they made him one of the smartest, most emotionally open characters. he’s so so caring. and reid is smart, sure, but even morgan has his strengths. he’s a better chess player than reid (something i wish we couldve seen more of), which i think no one ever fucking mentions. morgan seems like an afterthought at most in cm fics, with moreid, hotchgan, and morcia. he’s just.. underappreciated in general in comparison to his white counterparts.

as far as the trans masc hc… ok.. this one might get me into trouble lol but it feels so… uninteresting? he’s “gnc” bc he has long hair ig. i dont wanna say too much more on that bc morgan/hotch seem very comfortable in their gender identity, and it’s probably easier for questioning people to identify with the generally-insecure reid. which is like.. fine ig but it feels? belittling almost? infantilizing/woobifying trans men? idk

this shit is always kinda hard to talk about bc yeah there’s nothing inherently wrong for csa reid hcs or trans reid hcs or autistic reid hcs or whatever, but it feels particularly disingenuous when you have morgan right there who can easily have as many if not more of those popular hcs applied to him. but sure yeah lets just ignore him as the dumb jock lol. lets make him a prop for other characters. lets cast aside his characterization to make reid more interesting. it’s definitely a trend in fandom to hype up the skinny white boy, so i cant reeally blame reidgirls for living up to the stereotype, but it feels like they actively ignore morgan. it just sucks bc morgan js such a fun character

[semper-legens]

160. Punk 57, by Penelope Douglas

Owned: No, library Page count: 315 My summary: Ryen and Mischa are the best of friends. Thanks to a mixup between their schools, they ended up pen pals and never stopped writing to each other. Now, at the end of their school lives, there are a lot of things changing in their lives - but their friendship is going to stay constant, right? But Mischa's life is falling apart after the death of his sister. When he sneaks into Ryen's school, things are going to change... My rating: 1/5 My commentary:

Punk 57 annoyed me. Here's a book that seemed to have an interesting premise from the get-go - two kids who are penpals destined never to meet, until one day they do and find that they are different to how they were assuming. But in execution? About a third of the way in I realised that I did not care about these kids at all and that, furthermore, the whole premise of the book was just a weak excuse for a semi-badboy 'romance' which rivals Twilight in its creepiness. I know some people are probably into this kind of thing. And given how much emphasis is placed on the (copious!) sex scenes, I assume it's meant to be hot over anything. But I'm sorry, I just can't get past how terrible these two are, particularly Mischa. And how the plot just…wasn't.

Let's start with Mischa, since he's the most egregiously terrible of the duo. Mischa starts out at an event put on by his band, where he sees Ryen. He doesn't recognise her, but thanks to her distinct name he can identify that it's her. He assumes she's there for him, and kinda awkwardly stands near her in the hopes that she will notice him. She does not, because she's not there for him, because why would she be? She doesn't know what he looks like. Months later, he needs to infiltrate her school for a very convoluted reason as 'Masen', and ends up in a relationship with her. And not telling her that he's her childhood friend. Ever. And even apart from that, he's creepy and manipulative - he constantly pushes Ryen past her boundaries, doesn't respect her saying no, belittles and mistreats her, acts like she's the worst person in the world for *checks notes* being a Popular Girl in high school and not telling him that, lies to her, lies to her, lies to her, and lies to her. But he's a hot punk badboy, so all is forgiven! I could find no redeeming quality about Mischa. Even the thing that's meant to humanise him - his sister dies during the prologue, and we learn exactly why later, she had a heart attack while jogging because she was pushing herself to be better to please their birth mother - is just trite. Ah yes, inventing a fridged woman with no characterisation to give a male character more development. Truly, the best trope. He breaks into her house, he abuses her, he gives her the nickname 'Rocks' which turns out to be short for 'dumb as a box of' - a great romantic lead! Respecter of women! Ugh. Oh, and he dumps polaroids of semi-naked women all over Ryen's terrible boyfriend's mother's bed (that the boyfriend had taken, not Mischa) in order to shame him, as though their nudes getting out wouldn't affect the women. Classy!

Meanwhile, Ryen…I was trying so hard to like Ryen. After all, her main flaws were 'not entirely honest about herself' and 'friends with the stereotypical Mean Girl/Jock squad', which is small potatoes next to Mischa's rap sheet. The trouble for me was that she didn't get much in the way of development at all. She was afraid of being an outcast, of losing her social standing, so every part of how she presented herself was a calculated performance to be that Mean Girl alpha kind of personality, including hiding her asthma and true interests. The trouble is that we never really got a good sense for who the 'real' Ryen was the whole time? For all that we're supposed to be shocked that Ryen was misrepresenting herself to Mischa, we never really see the Ryen that Mischa knew - hell, we never even get to see that many of the letters they sent to one another, outside a couple of excerpts. So I was never quite sure why I was meant to sympathise with her, who I was meant to be rooting for. It doesn't help that her narrative voice is like every character in her archetype, the kind of will-I-won't-I, he's-bad-but-I-love-him, I-seem-shallow-but-I'm-really-deep mindset. There just wasn't anything there to distinguish her.

And as to the non-romance side of the plot, it was…boring? It rarely came up, and was incredibly convoluted when you put it all together. See, Ryen's terrible boyfriend (not Mischa, the jock) has a bracelet that belonged to Mischa's dead sister, only he doesn't have it, his mother has it. Well, stepmother. Who is also Mischa's bio-mother. Who doesn't recognise him when 'Masen' gets pulled into the principal's office, because she's also the principal. I just…if Mischa knew she had it the whole time, why couldn't he have just broken into her house? Why all of this? This plot barely ever comes up, it's mostly the drama between Mischa and Ryen, but there's just nothing to it. Nothing interesting. It's just boring, and doesn't carry the weight of the horrible romance. Miss this book, is what I'm saying.

Next up, to a dystopian world, obeying a simple command.

[mydaroga]

Beatle questions:

23, 24 and 25 please

Oof some hard hitters here! Thanks for asking. I'll do my best!

23. Did How Do You Sleep go too far?

Ok so I'm not sure how out there this is as a take but, I'm always a little baffled by this debate. So I'm glad you asked because I never feel it's appropriate for me to wade in but I have Thoughts.

And they are these:

John had every "right" to make HDYS and there's not really any such thing as ME saying he's gone too far because it's not about me. He made a decision to release a song with explicit digs at his former partner, as many many songwriters have done, and I will happily belt along with "You're So Vain" even if the song IS about you. Plus, I enjoy the song and he obviously enjoyed recording it so you know, who am I to say.

THAT SAID, I do also think it's mean, deliberately so, even if I also think he's misdirecting some of his actual complaints/insults, possibly to protect himself. It's not a perfect drag. But my evidence for actually thinking it's hurtful is, well, Paul being obviously hurt by it. He chose words that he knew would get to his ex, and he did it on purpose, and it doesn't really matter how mean we think it is when we've got Paul's word that it did upset him. John knew what would sting, and he used it.

I know there is an argument out there that HDYS is fine because it's not that mean, but I think it IS that mean but that's also... Fine. Because we're all adults and we do things and there are consequences but that doesn't mean it's my place to condemn a grown man for his decision to be mean to another grown man in a bop. Was it nice? No. Did he hurt Paul deliberately? I think he did. But that's kinda their business?

24. How many hidden quibs do you think are on Ram?

We'll never know. John never knew. I think Paul... Will also never know.

I think Paul's style is far less direct than John's, which makes parsing this that much harder--not that I think John wasn't capable of subtlety! It's more that I'm not sure *Paul* knows what he means half the time, because I think he often writes very intuitively and chooses words that "taste good" and there can be any number of reasons for that.

So "preaching practices" and "piss off cake" and "lucky break" are deliberate, but most of the rest of the things John and others identified are less focused, so it's hard to say and I'm of the mind it depends on Paul's mood at the time, what he means by a dog with three legs. I feel like "Ram" is Paul's version of anger, yes, but he doesn't like direct confrontation and thus I personally can't say how much is actual diss.

I think my gut feeling, at this juncture anyway, is that stuff may have come out in Paul's writing that he didn't intend, more than it being a deliberate barb, but that's mostly based on my sense that Paul doesn't like to *think* of himself as angry, and so it's much more left up to speculation. I am sure there a convincing argument that he was deliberately angry but trying to hide it and thus minimizing his ire in later interviews, and I guess it could be that in part. But I do think he largely wants to convince himself as well as us, so on the whole I don't think he laced "Ram" with quite as many digs as John thought--at least consciously.

25. What's your take on the Barcelona trip?

Something Happened.

Hot take, right?

What's interesting about this incident is that both John and Brian told others about it, but not quite the same story. And you can put that down to John's general tendency to unreliable narration when he thinks he is saving face, or Brian's guilt/shame/conflicted feelings, or the unreliable nature of human memory. But I think there's enough "there," there, to say some kind of sexual encounter happened. It seems to me that it was not a satisfying one, seemingly on either side, or not an entirely consummated one, whatever that meant to John.

But I don't think we'll ever fully know the details, or how to square John's bravado with Brian's reported and possibly spurious confession of taking advantage (I am putting it mildly here simply because we do not know the details enough for me to feel comfortable making more overt accusations), though of course there are psychological explanations for both reports that say more about John and Brian than they do about the facts.

So. Something happened between Brian and John in Barcelona. But it seems to have been less than fulfilling, and lingered in both men's consciousness in ways they seemed conflicted about. And yet, they remained friends and business partners, and I do not doubt the regard they felt for one another.

[fiersza]

I've only recently realized that I've adopted the "not talking about my achievements or unique things about me" to some degree.

There's a bunch of reasons for this--I've spent the last decade in a multicultural tourist hotspot where almost everybody has done some really cool shit or is currently doing some really cool shit, and sooner or later, it'll come out organically, and then you get to talk about it deeper than just a "Wow, good job! Good on you!"

Outside of other people who've chosen to live where I live, my life can seem kinda extraordinary, and it gets weird having the same conversations over and over again where people are amazed and it's just your normal everyday life now.

Instead of telling people I'm a novelist and survive and thrive 100% off my book earnings, I just say I'm a writer, and let them assume blog posts, etc. If pushed to specify, I often say "something like that," a lot of the time.

I live in Costa Rica on the beach. Now some people are going to be like, "oh nice, it's lovely there," which is a great response. But sometimes I get the "OH YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT'S AMAZING," and that feels weird too. It's my life. It's a choice I happened into, worked to keep, and it's my normal.

My kid is an anchor baby--a dual citizen here who gave me legal residency to stay. The only place this seems like a bad thing is if you're not-white and in the USA, at which you're trying to take advantage of the system. (Yeah, the system sucks. That's why it has to be taken advantage of. I actually do bring this one up to folks from the US to push their understanding of immigration.)

But I will happily tell friends and family the moment I finish a new book. If I have a really good income month or something else rad happened.

I'll tell them about my achievement moments in Spanish, like the day I went on a four hour hike and ended up chatting with someone in Spanish for the whole day. The first time someone I knew spoke English and Spanish didn't immediately switch to English when I started talking.

Connected to this idea of how we speak about our achievements is how we speak about identity.

One of the things I've consciously attempted to train myself out of is asking people what they do for work. Because that's how we identify ourselves in the US--what we do for work. I say I'm a novelist. I was a software programmer. I don't say I write books. I wrote computer programs. We don't describe our jobs as what we do but what it makes us.

And the rest of the world isn't like that, and even 10 years out I still can't fully wrap my head around that and detangle the knot of capitalistic identity wrapped around my soul.

"What do you like to do with your time?" and other probably better phrased questions still feel so awkward and out of place in my mouth, when "What do you do for work?" is so comfortable and familiar.

Because the reality is most people from the US spend the majority of their time at work. We don't have space to do or be much else unless we work extremely hard to reject cultural expectations. Not to mention how meeting the bare level of survival keeps most people pinned down in work with little escape.

Coming back to the original topic of how we share achievements, I think they're definitely tied together. On the one hand, we in the US have a big cultural identity problem in that there's a more or less unspoken belief that what we achieve defines who we are. On the other hand, we're generally more than happy to take any excuse to celebrate and hype up others, and hope they do the same for us.

It's not a better way or a worse way, as many other reblogs have noted--its just A way, with its own benefits and costs.

This is the first time someone's pointed something out about the way we behave I didn't even realise and found myself realising they are entirely right

[trvlytylar]

honestly i didn’t like that. it kinda rubbed me the wrong way a little. but i actually don’t have the time to harp on it lol so we move… i think that’s one of the best & worst parts of being an adult.

you have so many other responsibilities and things going on in your life that you actually dont have the time to get wrapped up in feelings over things that aren’t that deep. and of course it’s your prerogative on what counts as “deep” but once you identify what does and what does not fall into that category you’re able to start letting certain shit go in one ear and out the other fr. because you actually don’t have the capacity to let that slow you down. there’s just tooooooo much to do.

on the other hand it can kinda be the worst thing because sometimes you forget to feel. life is moving so quickly and you’re constantly checking off boxes, taking care of business, and just getting shit done that’s it rare to come up for air…to zoom out of the 15,000 things you have going on in a-million-and-one areas of your life to reflect. to truly feel. to analyze all the good things you’ve done and accomplished and all the bad things that you messed up, and the lessons you learned and the ways people have hurt you and how you’ve grown and and are constantly evolving as a fucking human being. and as “up in the air” as that seems we have to do it. because charging every single thing, whether it be big or small, to the “I don’t have time for this” or the “ I got too much shit to do to be focused on this” for long enough leaves you in a super unhealthy place. pushing all of your feelings off until you don’t have shit to do or things going on in your life is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, so we have to find ways to balance(even though i hate that word) feeling the feelings and also not letting shit get to you and completely knock you off your game for too long. AND THATS HARD. I could give solution right now because I know there’s way to do it by making time for each one and tending to yourself so you can be in tune with what you need which is beautiful and amazing, but today i just came to acknowledge that this is a thing and that it’s a hard thing to balance.

wow i didn’t expect to type this much. i hope y’all read it and can relate lol.

[kasplonkable]

Dating Isaac Lahey would include:

Stealing his jumpers constantly. They're literally massive, but they're soft, and they smell like old books, and the woods after rain, but most of all they smell like home

Going to see his lacrosse games. He would try to tell you that it wasn't a big deal, and that you didn't really have to come, but you would absolutely go full out every time

I'm talking face paint, colour coordinated outfits, banners, the works

He would be so embarrassed at first, but not of you. He's just shocked that someone would care about him that much

He would do this thing when the game ended where he would run across the pitch and kiss you in front of the crowd like he'd just won (even if their team lost)

If you guys are studying together, he would occasionally lean over to look at your answers, and when he gets caught he would pretend that he was going to hug you instead

"No, babe, you literally just look so cute right now" *continues peeking*

"Uh huh. It seems my answers are looking even cuter..."

"Well, now that you mention it-"

Lots of small touches. When you guys are walking together, your hands just naturally find eachother

Or when you're studying, you'll comfortably press your legs against eachothers under the table

Or sitting down, he'll sling his arm over your shoulders so you can lean on his chest

You both just enjoy the feeling of being close

He is constantly giving you his jacket. If he sees to even shiver slightly, the jacket is coming off. Even if you rub your arms, all of a sudden you have his coat dumped on you while he looks away bashfully and mumbles something about it being cold

Yeah, it's kinda chivalrous, but really it's more of a possessive thing

Speaking of being possessive, oh my days he literally cannot deal with other guys flirting with you

One time, while the two of you were eating lunch together, one of the guys from your history class came over and started flirting with you, and Isaac did not take it well at all

"I was thinking we could hang out on Friday? Just you and me, without your friend here"

Issac kept his head down as be wrapped his arm around your shoulder, finally looking up, eyes yellow as the sun, when he said

"You wanna try that again, bud?"

The guy almost seems stuck on the spot until you place a hand on Issac's, squeezing gently

"Sorry Ben, I'm actually Issac's girlfriend, so I can't"

Even though he was angry, hearing you tell people 'you are his' drove him a little wild

You write eachother small love notes all the time. Sometimes you give them in person, sliding small professions of love across the hard wood of the library desks

But sometimes it's more fun to hide them for the other to find later

So many times, Isaac has come home from a rough day only to move a folder on his desk and find a small note folded there. His face just lights up, the troubles of the day already fading in his mind, replaced by one thought: you

Or sometimes he'll flick to a random page in his textbook, and a small pink post-it will fly out from between the pages, the only message on it being "i love you"

He starts off as the big spoon, but you usually wake up to find him safely gathered up in your arms, asleep on your chest

Especially if he has a nightmare. He tries so hard not to wake you, but if he does, just hold him until he calms down, muttering sweet nothings until he falls back asleep. A lot of the time he doesn't even remember it in the morning

He's the one who deals with spiders, but not before teasing you about it

"Oh come on, he's just a little guy!!"

"Isaac, seriously, please take him outside"

"You sure you don't wanna say hi?"

He never kills them though. He kinda identifies with them, so he just grabs a cup and some paper and takes them out

There was that one time though, when the spider wouldn't fit in the cup, in which both of you really considered just leaving for a couple hours until it went away on it's own

"Yeah I think I'm gonna give this one a miss..."

"What do you mean 'a miss'? You're the big bad wolf, go sort it out!!"

"Wait, babe....where did it go?"

👁👄👁

*sounds of you both grabbing your bags and leaving the room* "nope" "nope" "absolutely not"

I actually had so much fun writing this!! It's crazy the kind of inspiration you get when you're trying to avoid studying, but anyway!! Hope you enjoyed, and feel free to send a request!! :-)

[ehronlime]

Ghost Games

(Disclaimer: This is a reworking of an old Twitter thread of mine)

What are your favourite games that only exist as a set of tweets or a screenshot of the notes app?

Or just a PDF download of a Google Doc in your "rpgs" folder with no identifying information that you have no idea how you got in the first place?

Or two long messages in Discord and you have no idea what the designer is up to now since they left all social media?

Or a friend showed you in their notebook once but they said it wasn't ready even though it seemed amazing and now they don't play games much anymore and just give an embarrassed chuckle when you tentatively inquire about the game they were working on?

What's your favourite deleted itch game?

Favourite dead blogs that you still have some pages of rules and game bits saved to your bookmarks?

I've been thinking about the ephemeral nature of games and game texts. Back in August 2021, I was asking around about a game PDF I had saved of a Google Doc I probably found on Reddit or some other forum (I still haven't found out where I got it from!). More than I year ago now, I went to share a link to an itch game page and discovered it was gone.

I think about how a bunch of lyric games that hit me aren't on any kind of "stable" platform like itch.io and are kinda hard to find now. I think about threads of "old treasures" from the early days of tabletop RPG zines, games that weren't digitized, one-off convention games, games that were put online but not in any way that's captured by our current platforms. I think of all the games from early eras that didn't get preserved because they weren't "notable" or made by "notable" people or quoted as inspirations by other "notable" games. I think of how archaeology can only see that which was "valued" to preserve.

I think of how many games that I and my current cohort of designers have made, entries for numerous game jams, that will be thought of in 1, 2, 5, 10 years time.

I was also thinking about game design and the act of playing games as necromancy. Since you can't get other people to re-play or re-experience a game session you had exactly, all you can do is give them some tools to maybe try and re-conjure, resurrect, a similar game.

Games die all the time.

I don't think my answer to this ephemeral nature of games and art productions is just to push for more archiving and permanence (lol sorry archivists and historians), though yeah let's try to do that too. I'm kinda okay that some things get to die and be lost. Their body gone, but their memory and mark on us persevering.

One thing that I keep coming back to is (I think) Brendan Keogh's thoughts on if we want to treat games as art rather than just products, we have to allow for games to be the equivalent of a drawing stuck on a fridge, or a poem written in a greeting card. That feels true to me. That some games can just be for a certain person, time, place.

I want more people to see gamemaking as a practice and art that they can engage with on whatever terms they choose, not just whatever terms "the market dictates". To make games with no thought whether they would be "notable" or remembered. To make games for the sake of having this thing exist, bursting and fading like a firework.

If that comes with the cost of ghosts of games littering our spaces, then so be it.

[shit-talker]

Honestly, for me, I think it's just that DBDA (and any work the Neil Gaiman seems to work on) the stories and characters always have this overarching sense of queer identity. It's less about Charles himself and more about the details and relationships that are put into the show. Neil Gaiman once said (in a panel about DBDA, i think) that a lot of his comic work like DBDA and Sandman included a lot of queer elements because the people in his life who were queer were so unrepresented, so he put them into his work.

It's not something that's very in your face, but it is something that's put into almost all of the characters; even characters like Ester, Crystal, Niko, Charles; they aren't explicitly anything, but there are undertones that give them this sort of vibe of the community.

As for your (very valid) points;

1. The Earring - Honestly, it's kind of blurry on which ear meant which. Even at the time, it was kind of a moot point because so many people saw it differently. Some say the left was to identify yourself as gay, while the right was to show you were just fashionable, while others say it's the other way around. It's not really a solid point either way, and I'd probably put Charles' jewellery into his fashion sense and music taste rather than anything to do with his sexuality.

2. Totally agree with you here - makeup on boys in the music communities that Charles seems to be a part of (I'm talking SKA, Rock, ext) was pretty common. It was half related to being gay, in the sense that a lot of queer people were a part of these music communities, but it's got pretty much nothing to do with whether he is or isn't queer.

3. He does say he loves Edwin, and for the most part, I do think that's something he's meaning platonically, but I also think Charles and Edwin have been around each other and solely each other for so long, there's this intense codependency that isn't strictly platonic or romantic. I think when most people make this point, they're referring to the confession scene in hell, which is fair enough because Charles explicitly states that he isn't sure if he loves Edwin like that. It's not an outright, no, or an outright yes; it's a "I know I love you, but I've never had to think about in what context," and he then goes on to say they have forever to figure it out. I think Charles hasn't fully worked out who he is or what he identifies as. Sexuality is a total spectrum, and while people tend to put labels on things; sometimes those labels do not fit and it becomes hard to work yourself out.

4. Yeah, I think (I'm hoping) this one is a total joke on the fandoms part because stereotyping people in a community is kinda shitty, even if it seems harmless like this.

Overall, I think a lot of the reason behind people thinking Charles is queer (I'm using queer as a blanket term here) comes from a place of his relationship with Edwin and wanting them to have a happy ending. But I also think a lot of it could be to do with the huge overlap queer communities and SKA, rock, and even punk music in the 1980s, all of which Charles' character seemed to be a part of (he wears SKA patches, talks about loving a rock song, wears typical clothing from those music communities). Plus, I think Jayden Revri (who plays Charles) played him with the intention of him and Edwin eventually becoming a couple.

Obviously, it's up to you if you want to view the character this way. There is no right or wrong in fandom!!

I've debated whether or not to ask this question, but I'm bored and curious (dangerous combination).

Why does the fandom at large keep saying that Charles is queer- or bi-coded? (I'm not saying he can't be either or both of those things, I just didn't see a single hint in the series, and I'd like to know what I missed.) I was actually around in the 80s, and, to me, Charles was simply "80s cool guy & a bit of a rebel" coded.

Arguments I've seen:

the earring is not straight (Yeah, no, sorry. In the 80s, an earring in a guy's left ear meant he was straight. An earring in his right ear meant he was gay. It was a whole thing.)

eye make-up (I put that down to his musical taste. Also, it's very subtle, so I'm not entirely certain that it was meant to be read at all.)

he said he loves Edwin (I love a lot of people I'm not in love with. He also said that he's not in love.)

he doesn't sit like a straight person (Seriously?)

What am I missing? (Please no fighting. I have a media background and I'm just curious, because I usually catch these things.)