#like she thinks everyone can do this bc its her lived experience

[demigods-posts]

@godly-mistake this is so funny! i could totally see annabeth not knowing that this a power because no one thought to tell her. until someone asks the room how long ago it was that something happened. and annabeth, not even blinking, gives the exact timeframe down to the milisecond. and chiron has to pull her aside and explain that she's had powers her entire life apparently.

that moment in tlh when annabeth has an exact timestamp down to the second for just how long she'd been looking for percy makes me wonder if she always has an internal clock for everything. and like. this is further reinforced when she's timed percy's morning routine with a minute to spare in cotg. or in tlt!book when she used physics to calculate the best time to jump off the boat in the thrill ride of love. call it "scheduling" and "time management" if you wanna. all i'm saying is owls have an internal biological clock and it isn't improbable to assume annabeth inherited that trait from her mother, the patron of owls herself.

[phagodyke]

oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great

[star-sim]

"noo! she's taken!" ☆ enha hyungs

☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen hyungs x celebrity! fem! reader ☆summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆genre: fluff, silly boys ☆warning(s)? ygs liked the maknae ver so here's the hyung ver! maknae ver

heeseung ☆

i think ur a musician here

one of those very personable and insightful ones

giving laufey or mitski yk?

anyways heeseung is THE stan

within your fandom

he's the guy that EVERYONE KNOWS

like ppl will argue who is the best [name] stan and the moment he's brought up they shut their mouths

heeseung does not play around when it comes to stanning you, his gf

somewhat like riki, heeseung runs multiple stan accounts for you

but he's most active and most well-known on 1) youtube and 2) tiktok

all his youtube videos are titled

"[name] concert 11/25/2023 nyc, usa (she looked at me!)"

"[name] concert 11/26/2023 miami, usa"

"[name] concert 11/27/2023 berlin, germany (i touched her hand!)"

"[name] concert 11/28/2023 jakarta, indonesia"

"[name] concert 11/29/2023 melbourne, australia (i met her!)"

like how the fuck is he going to all of these concerts when theyre literal hours apart and OCEANS AWAY

he likes to vlog his concert experiences

and theyre very entertaining because he's like genuinely enjoying himself

on his tiktok he also records his concert experiences

but i also think he posts your fancams and makes edits of you

too many times where an edit of you became known as "that one [name] edit"

he makes a lot of thirst edits of u

too many captions like "i want her so bad" or "she's so fine i need her biblically"

everyone knows who he is, even ppl outside of your fandom or the music scene

hes just that one guy that really likes you

one day ur on tour

its all fine and dandy, ur eating everything up, ur fans are loving it

and heeseung is documenting his concert experience

as he always does

and then it ends and heeseung posts it

however

this concert vlog

is

uh

receiving a lot of attention

TOO MUCH ATTENTION

THAT ITS

VERY

SUSPICIOUS

........

you and hee are just hanging out in your hotel when his phone starts blowing up

and yours too

all the comments on his video are normal, the ones that are expressing playful envy at heeseung's presence at ur concert

and like

it's not like heeseung doesn't get these types of comments

but one comment catches his eye

it has like 50k likes

and hes like oh shit

"at 3:05 heeseung why are you kissing [name]"

kissing.

[name].

he clicks that timestamp

and oh my god

THERES LIKE A CLIP OF HEESEUNG KISSING YOU

you see

when heeseung records your concerts he's recording it both for his fanpage and for the memories

he'll take as many cute couple pictures and videos with you as possible

and he just so happened to accidentally add one of the clips of you and him

kissing.

in fact

he accidentally added A LOT OF CLIPS AND PICTURES of you and him being a couple

ones of you hugging him backstage, ones of you two holding hands, even one where viewers can faintly hear you calling heeseung "babe"

and the other comments

OH LORD THE OTHER COMMENTS

"THAT SHOULD BE ME"

"HEESEUNG MOVE ASIDE!!!!!!!!!"

"i hate seeing people live my dream"

"SHE'S MINE *growls*"

"[NAME] GET BEHIND ME"

obv theyre all half joking half confused, but i think ppl are able to joke w him bc he's such an obnoxious stan 😭

and heeseung is like

poor heeseung is sweating and panicking

bc shit HE JUST EXPOSED UR RELATIONSHIP

but when he tells u

you literally are just like

"okay"

OKAY????

"it's not a big deal"

heeseungs like WHATATATATA

at first he's kinda unsure

bc ur so chill abt it that he's almost afraid that ur actually mad at him 😭

but you legitimately do not care

and when he realizes this

he goes from

😱

to

😈

because

NOW HE CAN FLEX ON EVERYONE

he goes straight to twitter and drops more couple-y pictures of you and him

he probably posts a tiktok that pans over to you on his bed or something

caption like "it's exposed now, but yeah, [name] is actually my gf"

its goes so viral

hes so smug about it too

like whenever he gets into arguments abt who's a better fanpage hes like "I'M LITERALLY A HER BF???"

he becomes an inside joke in ur fandom

i think everyone jokingly flames his ass too

"why did she pick heeseung of all people...."

"pixelated fancam, ass editing, shitty camera, yet [name] still chose him... what did we do wrong"

"[name] wasn't lying in her song when she said she has bad taste in men"

"i can't believe heeseung literally stole my spot... i should be the one that she writes all her love songs about..."

free him 😭😭😭

jay ☆

ooh this one is kinda juicy

ur a musician slay

but sometimes you do modeling

for one of your shoots

you're showing off your midriff and ur just glowing sorry

all ur followers are like

"ughhh step on me [name]"

"i don't think ygs understand i need her"

"[NAME] ONE CHANCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"

"i want her."

very quickly goes viral

ur just so hot ughhhhh

but ppl notice something upon closer inspection

you have a tattoo on ur back

at first everyone is like

"okay sexy lady love the tat"

but then

when they look closer

they can't help but see that incorporated into the design

is two

very

specific

letters

J and P

almost like they're someone's initials

🤨🤨🤨

hmmmmm

interesting.....

who is JP?

HMMM???

and now that ppl look at it

you have so many songs and albums that refer to JP

like ur one album

called

"just playing, i love you" but it's commonly abbreviated as "jpily"

JP????? ILY?? JP I LOVE YOU???

WHO THE HELL IS JP

"whoever jp is, he needs to meet me in the parking lot so we can have a talk 😆"

"jp my opp"

"jp kys!!!"

"jp is living my dream"

hehe

you see this

and jay aka mr JP himself sees this

and ur like

yk what let's tease the fans

for the next few months ur just teasing jay's existence

using his intials

like one time you wear a heart necklace that has the letters jp engraved in them

or when you tweeted "i love jp" but followed it up with "Jurassic Park is a wonderful movie 😆"

oh god you make it so obvious

"jp is the reason i make my music" and then following it up with "Jimmy Page is my favoritie guitarist 😛"

like ur fans are tired

and theyre getting outright insane

"guys the winter is getting cold and dire... the voices in my headare telling me that [name] is dating this jp person and i don't know how much longer i can live in denial"

"fuck you jp that should be me!!!"

"i hope jp knows how lucky he is... if a hot woman like [name] tattooed my initials i think i'd die maybe"

"i'm fighting demons (and jp)"

until finally!!!

you go to an award show

you look great as always

ugh queen

and ur getting interviewed

the interviewer asks you a playful question like

"oh are you here with any date?"

AND YOU JUST SMILE

"of course, i'm here with my boyfriend, jay park."

oh man

when that gets posted

EVERYONE IS GOING CRAZY

JAY PARK

JP

AAAAAAAAA

and when the actual award shows gets posted

it keeps panning over to you and jay

and everyone is like

THAT'S HER BF????

all jay can say is that he's prideful duh

everyone wants u but he's the only one that can have you

you definitely take a lot of pictures on the red carpet at the award show

and jay is with u in a lot of them

he's holding ur waist so tightly

like you're not gonna run away cuh it's okay omg 😭😭😭

anyways i think it gets resolved pretty easily

ur fandom accepts jay

but they still joke abt him

and when jay makes a twt account it gets worse

he WILL respond to them

and he WILL flex u

every time he does it shuts down the argument right away.... if he wants to win he just needs to mention ur name

"jay meet me after the concert, we will fight to the death for [name]'s love"

and this mf responds "can i bring [name] to be the ref?"

"jay ur hair looks so fucked up in this picture"

and he responds "yet [name] still picked me and not you"

you have to tell him to stop fighting ur 16 yr old fans HELP

jake ☆

sorry ur a musician again

you have a new song that came out

yk how in some songs

there's almost like an interlude

where there's speaking parts

like in agora hills theres a small part where doja cat says "baby can you call me back, it's so lonely in my mansion" yk?

you have something like that in your newest song

cute!

except it's not just your voice

but a MAN'S voice too

JAKE'S VOICE

the speaking part is very flirty and suggestive

and when it comes out

ppl are like

WHO IS THAT MAN

and then when the music video comes out

theres a male actor that you have many scenes with

now.... the male actor's face is cut out...

but there are still many scenes with you touching him, holding him, kissing him, and vice versa

and when the speaking part comes on

that male actor is supposed to be the male part if that makes sense

that male actor is

drum roll plS

JAKE

when ppl read the credits of the song and music video

they can't help but notice "jake sim"

and when they search ur other songs and mv's

"jake sim" has never showed up...

until this song.....

interesting....

ur fans do a lil detective work

and this jake sim guy doesn't have any involvement in the music or acting industry....

so why is he in ur song AND music video....

hmmmm

they can't find any ig account linked to him

except one that's very obscure

it has a funny username like

"@laylasdad1115" so ppl are like "oh that's probably not even him" and you weren't even following that account so they just let it go

WRONG!!1

@LAYLASDAD1115 IS JAKE

and although you're not following that account on ig

when ppl scroll down to your very very old posts

they see something

very

very

very

miniscule

but

very

very

very

crucial

a post of you and a golden labrador.... and the caption says "i love you layla"

layla... laylasdad1115

and THEN BOOM

NEW SONG COMES OUT

AND AT THE BEGINNING

YOU SAY

"jakey, kiss me!"

OH MY GOD

WHO IS JAKE SIM!!!!!!

"@laylasdad1115 u better watch out...."

"who do you think u are jake sim..."

and then you have a concert

and its not a massive stadium, it's very casual

and there's a part of the concert where you just answer questions that ur fans have and just hang out w them

and someone asks as a joke

"who's jakey in ur song btw?"

and with the most straight face

ur just like

"oh he's my boyfriend!" and then you point to the front row and ur like "he's actually here tonight, say hi baby!"

and jake is so enthusiastic abt it, hes like "hi guys!"

while everyone else in the room is like

WHAT.

the way ygs are so casual abt it is so appalling

"[NAME] YOU CAN'T JUST CASUALLY DROP THAT U HAVE A BF I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING MARRIED"

"she's taken..... i'm gonna die.... "

LMAAOAOAO

it's known in ur fandom now that ur bf is jake sim or wtv

i don't think anyone even calls him jake

out of pure disrespect (😭) they call him by his instagram username

"laylasdad1115 might be dating [name] but i'm legally bound to her so who's really winning"

when jake shows up to your concerts i do think your fans joke w him like

"ouuu jake ur so lucky [name] is here or i'd give you a black eye"

FREE HIMMMM

sunghoon ☆

three words: your personal bodyguard

you're an actress cutie

and it's award show season

at all of your award shows ppl notice there's this tall brooding figure looming over you

ITS SUNGHOON LMAO

he's like

GLARING AT EVERYONE

HE KEEPS SQUARING UP RANDOM PPL 😭😭😭

ik this might be a crazy crossover but the moment he spots ryan gosling he's so ready to throw fists

"okay barbie boy you look like you want a broken nose"

sunghoon is very protective of you

obv bc the film industry is lowk kinda sus and exploitative, he def watches out for u a lot

everyone kinda just assumes that he's ur scary bodyguard

but then paparazzi pictures come out

and hes with you

in every

single

one

"goddamn her bodyguard is passionate about his job 😭😭😭"

in fact when the annoying invasive paparazzi interviewers come to talk to you sunghoon is sending the the NASTIEST GLARES

but like it's valid bc ur literally walking to Walgreens at 9AM on a tuesday why do you need to be photographed

"hi [name] can we ask you a few questions-"

hoon literally answers for u

"No. 😐."

interviewers are so rude, theyre like "well i didn't ask you, did i... [name] can we ask you-"

sunghoon just blinks and says

"No. 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐." again

and then ygs leave

theres clips of you at the airport where sunghoon is scaring all ur fans, which makes way for you to have a cmfortable flight

i think ur fans appreciate him but theyre lowk scared

"oh god this guy does not play abt his job 😭😭"

until one day

you get playfully asked abt ur bodyguard on an ig live

and ur like "wait what that's not my bodyguard, that's my bf"

UR WHAT????

HUH????

😱😱😱

ur fans are in the trenches

"i cant hate him bc he protects [name].... but damn i wish that was me 😞😞😞"

and when they review some of the clips w you and sunghoon they see you smiling and giggling with him

"he makes her happy so ig i'll let him have her </3"

"this is the hardest sacrifice i have to make"

i lowk think sunghoon doesn't care

he FIGHTS EVERYONE

only for u ofc 😊😊😊

maknae ver

[bloodbenderz]

there was a lot of mistakes made in the live action but the worst one without reservation was that the creators did not understand patriarchy and they did not understand women's liberation outside of an american context ( or any context if we're being honest )

it's easy to see on a surface level how that fucked up katara's whole character how she wasn't allowed to have her character defining moments how she wasn't allowed to be angry or even excited or impulsive but i think it doesn't really become clear how deeply wrong the show's conception of gender & patriarchy is (and the implications for the political landscape of the show) until you get into how they destroyed sokka's character too

sokka's whole Complex is born of patriarchy. i'm not trying to do men's rights advocacy here but in my experience when a people is under constant threat, constant assault, constant violence (much of which is gendered) and the traditional "protectors" or "providers" of that people are men, the masculine role becomes protecting women and children. i am not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing but it is true the narrative of violent resistance is overwhelmingly about men. to be a man in a time & place like this means fighting to protect your women, & to die for them is honorable. that is where sokka gets this idea that he has to be a warrior & he has to fight & if necessary die for katara & the rest of the tribe. it's about duty. everyone has a part to play, a role to fill

everyone including women! which is the other half of this. the duty of women is to keep up the home, to maintain a country worth fighting & dying for, to raise children so that the community can have a future. it becomes especially obvious in the context of the show when you see how the nwt lives & in specific how yue lives and dies.

many women participate in patriarchy. many colonized women participate in patriarchy. most of my family comes from or still lives in a country completely devastated by colonialism & its aftereffects & many women in my family believe wholeheartedly in the idea that everyone in the house has a role to play. it's not because these women are stupid or they hate themselves. but when you grow up believing that men & women are fundamentally different, and seeing that women are in specific danger because of their gender, it actually makes a lot of sense to expect the men in your family to protect you, and to raise your sons that way.

in practice that means that men aren't really expected to do anything around the house, especially when there's no actual danger. my aunt literally 2 days ago told me this lol like she doesn't make her sons do anything bc she wants to let their lives be easy before they have to go out into the world & take care of their wives & children.

what does women's liberation look like when an entire community is under threat? colonized women have been dealing with this question as long as colonialism has existed. the writers of this show don't even pretend to understand the question, much less to formulate a thoughtful response to it. they just say oh, well, katara, yue, & suki are all the exact same type of liberated girlboss for whom patriarchy is no significant obstacle.

which brings us back to sokka lol. sokka, at the beginning of the show, has completely subscribed to patriarchy, has integrated it into his sense of self. he has a lot of flaws, but he also has a lot of really good traits. his bravery, sense of honor, loyalty, work ethic, selflessness, all of this came from him striving to be a good man. he would die to protect katara, because she's his sister. he also has her wash his socks & mend his clothes, because she's his sister. even after he meets suki, humbles himself, & expands his view of the role a woman can play, he doesn't completely disengage from patriarchy. at the end of the day he believes in his soul that a good man's duty is to fight & if necessary die for his people, & that's exactly his plan. this is a very real psychic burden. pre-aang, it's also largely fictional & completely ridiculous. we're SUPPOSED to think it's ridiculous. he's spending his time training babies & working on his little watchtower. the swt hasn't been attacked since their mother was killed because it has been completely stripped of all value or danger it once held for the fire nation, & everybody knows this. there is very little "men's work" left, aside from hunting & fishing, which is so damaging to sokka's self image he resorts to toddler bootcamp to feel useful. the contradiction here is comical. it's also completely devastating. that's supposed to be the fucking POINTTTT like colonialism & patriarchy convinces this young boy he needs to be a soldier & die for his family. & you know what he does? He acts like a young boy about it. they didn't just leave this unexplored in the remake they completely changed the circumstances to 1. make sokka incompetent for some reason 2. make his "preparations" seem less ridiculous. Which ruins the whole character. Possibly the whole show.

all this makes the writing of katara & the other women infinitely more offensive to me. katara is a good character because she believes in revolution. she wants to liberate her people from imperialism, & she wants to liberate women from colonial gendered violence, traditional patriarchy in her own culture, & the complicated ways those things interact. it is LITERALLY the first thing you're supposed to learn about her. she's the PERFECT vehicle to address the question of women's liberation under colonialism. one of the things i was most looking forward to seeing in this show was how labor is distributed in a place where almost everything that needs to get done is "women's work" & how it affects katara & sokka's day to day relationship when their lives weren't at risk constantly. what actually are her responsibilities every day, & how do they compare to sokka's? how does her grandmother enforce these traditions with katara & sokka, & how is that informed by her own experiences in the nwt? what does patriarchy look like in a tribe made up of mostly women & children? it's so important to who katara is & what she believes! but why bother exploring any of that when u could instead make her a shein model who has nothing in common with the source material except her hairstyle lol.

yue is actually even worse to me bc yue is supposed to be sokka's counterpart. she's supposed to show you how destructive it is for women specifically to internalize this gendered duty so completely. it sucks for sokka, but he is a man & thus his prescribed role gives him some agency. yue's role affords her no agency whatsoever, & this is the POINT. to make her someone who's allowed to break things off with her fiance if she likes, who sneaks off to do what she wants when she's feeling stressed, whose will is respected as a monarch, like what is even the point of yue anymore? in the original the whole reason she was even allowed to spend time with sokka was because her father knew she was with a trustworthy boy. her story completely loses all significance when the dimension of patriarchy is removed from it. the crux of her whole story is that she is not just a princess but the literal & spiritual representation of the motherland. that's what women are supposed to represent during wartime, at the cost of their own sense of self. in order to fulfill her duty to her people she gives her life to them in every single way that matters.

it's just so unbelievably frustrating (and WRONG) that the only types of characters for these writers are "soulless misogynistic fuck" and "liberated american-style feminist." there's no nuance at all! they don't bother exploring how real love manifests in patriarchal communities, & how patriarchy defines the limits of that love. or how for so many of these people their idea of goodness, morality, & honor is gendered. or how imperialism affects not just individuals but entire cultures & their conceptions of gender. but why do any actual work when you could completely change sokka & katara's general demeanors, their entire personalities, & their roles in the tribe so you can dodge any & all nuance

Anyways. in conclusion. it was bad

[butterfly-ribbon]

thinking about the kamikou festival event again and how it conveys the tone and atmosphere of the school while showing the constant transmisogyny microaggressions mizuki lives with every day so well, and this phone call with an drives me insane bc even though an is genuinely well-meaning and is trying to ensure that mizuki knows that today is a safe day for her to come to school due to the circumstances of the festival, the way she words this is very discomforting bc she's basically saying "nobody is going to notice that you're dressed as a girl today bc everyone is wearing wacky outfits!" which carries the unfortunate implication that the way mizuki presents herself is equally wacky in a way that reinforces everything ppl say about her, but this isn't easy for her to push back against bc she doesn't have a good enough 'excuse' to do so when this is one of the few ppl who go out of their way to accommodate her even if they don't fully get it? it's thoughtful of an to want to reassure her but also it's another little thing that others fail to understand. she's trying to be kind but even then mizuki feels somewhat pushed into a corner. she's very bad at actively saying No. and an has removed her ability to misdirect here bc an is speaking with ambiguity.

mizuki also being too anxious about the idea of changing her clothes in school bc she's terrified of the possibility of being caught and thus having her body perceived by others... that's also another reason she'd hate being at school. gym and changing for it … i'd wager mizuki skips almost every gym class bc she can't stand the idea of being forced to change amidst boys, but she's also not allowed into the girls' locker room… literally only has the option to go to the roof if she wants to change. she's so hyper cognizant of her body and being seen … and the worst part is, she likes to be seen under her own circumstances and control (which is one of the many reasons she's very passionate abt fashion, and a lot of trans ppl in fiction tend to have an attachment to fashion and styling which makes a lot of sense bc of the element of control over one's appearance and making a self one can love). she really does. it just … happens that she knows she has so little control.

i've read the vbs main story (and a bit of their events but i need to continue whoops) and this makes me appreciate mizuki's brief interaction with kohane and an here more, bc it's obvious in this moment that kohane is just being her usual self—anxious around other ppl she's not familiar with and this is something she wants to improve upon (which as far as i can tell is the conceit of her character arc as an underdog of sorts compared to the others in her group). but mizuki assumes that she has to be uncomfortable with her specifically (presumably due to her transness) bc of her experiences, so she immediately feels bad about 'taking up space' and decides to make up an excuse to get away from the situation to give kohane the chance to comfortably hang out with her friend. and the fact that mizuki goes out of her way to say that she's going to find a place to hide alone is interesting bc the way it's framed it doesn't sound like it means much, but it feels deliberate on her part, like she wants an to know... mizuki's internal world and where we see she has internal bias and how she blames herself or assumes she herself is the problem if she can't make others comfortable, and she takes so much upon herself all the time bc she's used to constant microaggressions and either can't say how she truly feels or has to divest what she feels from its context to make it palatable. but of course kohane is not transphobic, she is someone who has trouble socializing with strangers bc of her own anxiety that has nothing to do with mizuki herself, but mizuki doesn't have access to this perspective like the reader so it's easy for her to assume that she's the problem. it's paranoia but it's understandable considering how she's treated by almost everyone...

[alyakthedorklord]

Welcome to Danny’s Part 2

People have been asking for more of this ^^ so here you go, have a really long word vomit of stuff i think is funny

(IM NOT WRITING THIS FIC GDI I HAVE ENOUGH WIP’S!)

Danny’s restaurant is ALSO manned by-

Tucker, who will fix your tech for free, has tattoos of hieroglyphics and lines of code that shift around when he gets busy.

Sam, who makes an express line for veggie orders. If you try to order meat from sam all the potted plants start trembling.

Jazz, who has a special booth in the back and Magically makes people dump their deepest secrets to her in streamlined Liminal Powers Therapy. (It’s a bit weird but hey the people she targets feel better so whatevs.)

Dani, who shares pictures from tourist traps she's visited, though there’s also some REALLY WEIRD pics of alternate realities and cult shenanigans mixed in. Some of the older patrons are concerned. She’s a little too young to do all this alone- actually, how old is she? Her father looks like he’s in his early twenties…

Dan, who is working here while “on parole” and often loudly argues with Danny about it.

“I don’t want to work in your stupid shop, Dad!”

Dan is two whole feet taller than danny and three times as wide i will not be taking constructive criticism. He’s a whole silver fox. There are some ladies who have a crush on him and they’re really concerned if he’s legal bc danny is younger than them how is Dan his child-

“Dan, how old are you?”

“I don’t know, like, a hundred sixty something?”

(Lady turns to look at Danny, who shrugs and smiles.) “time dilation. What a world we live in. Dan, kiddo, can you get some more napkins from the back?”

“Ugh, fine, dad.”

The first villain Danny ACTUALLY fights isn’t the Joker. It’s Condiment King. Dan runs away from him, which is already weird bc guy is MASSIVE, and the condiment king chases him bc YES SOMEONE FINALLY FEARS HIM PROPERLY.

Danny bursts out of the shop in righteous fatherly fury and beats the snot out of him. Everyones is confused bc… what? Dan is massive? Why is he scared? Why is the twink beating the snot out of condiment king?

“Dan had a traumatic experience with Burger Sauce.” Danny explains, glaring down at the rouge at his feet. He kicks him, growls, “Don’t mess with my kid.” And walks back inside.

No one asks, bc this is gotham. Asking is rude, and also it lessens the Mystery that is Danny’s. No one knows how the kids came into existence. No one knows, before someone from out of town (metropolis, ugh) asks about the sign.

The sign outside the shop says:

Welcome to Danny’s!

Do no harm and no harm shall befall you.

Start nothing and nothing will be ended.

We have baseball bats and fists and a mean swing.

This establishment does not serve- guys in white (suits), Vlad, Transphobes, Vlad, Clowns, VLAD.

Do not ask for the secret menu. If you can get it, Danny will offer it.

(Don’t scare the other customers, please.)

When asked who Vlad is, bc he’s banned three times, Danny just kind of sighs.

“He’s my kid's other parent. He’s an obsessive creep who completely ignores Danielle because she’s a girl, rolling in money but won’t pay his child support. You know how it is.”

Several goons ask what he looks like so they can keep an eye out. Dani happily tells them “look at Dan, take away Dad’s features, then convert 30% of his height and weight into smarminess.”

It's an effective description. Vlad gets full body tackled the moment he enters the neighborhood. Danny gives the goons free fudge (family recipe, one of the restaurants signatures)

One of the reasons Danny’s is so popular is bc its open 24/7. (Unless its one of those weird times where all the doors are locked and if you look through the window blinds theres nothing but a starry void.) One of the reasons Danny’s is so weird is bc Danny is ALWAYS behind the counter. Always. Round the clock. He doesn’t sleep, eat, anything. Some people swear he has a twin he swaps out with (clones).

Sometimes, after a really difficult customer, Danny will let out a really long sigh and mutter “time out” before glitching into a new position, with a new shirt and combed hair. No one mentions it.

Theres a deal that’s just, “beat danny in a fight you eat for free.”

The deal extends to both Dan and Dani as well. Even if you lose you get fudge as a reward for courage.

No one ever wins.

One time, a couple brought their kid, recently discharged from the hospital. Danny comes over to them and grins. “Hey, kiddo! Bet you gave your parents a scare, huh? Pulled through in the end. That means you get the secret menu!”

Parents: hey wtf?

Danny, handing over a perfectly normal menu: 😀

Kid: “ooh mommy look at the glowy stars!”

Parents: !?!?!?

Danny: 😁

Old man Dave, whose heart has stopped like three times now: “Oh don’t worry about that, prices are the same and it will help your kid feel much better. Danny’s just a little weird.”

After all, it’s not just full ghosts that get the menu. If you’ve been dead, heart stopped, soul out of body before being popped back into place, then you get it. There’s actually a pretty high number of people who get it, bc this is Gotham. People get resuscitated after rogue attacks. The ecto actually helps stabilize their soul after getting jerked between life and death so rudely.

The secret menu that they’re given is just a normal menu, scribbled over top with an ecto pen, invisible to non-secret menu havers. Different “ecto-levels” to choose from, and three extra dishes. There’s also instructions to get into the “back room” for those who can’t go intangible, though it comes with a disclaimer “not for the faint of heart.”

There’s also a small note at the bottom- “do not share food.”

Anyways, as per original post. Tim herds Joker into Danny’s radar bc he Cannot Deal Right Now. He salutes Danny, who waves back, grinning like he didn’t just come at the Clown Prince of Crime like a feral badger on crack cocaine. “Heya, Red Robin! You want a coffee?”

“Please.” Tim sighs. “You’re the best, Danny.”

Jason looks between tim and the shop danny just vanished into. “Uh, what?”

“Danny doesn’t like clowns.” Tim explains. “Or condiment king. They get close, Danny takes them out.”

Jason is incredibly confused, bc he just came back from an out of town mission, but this place is right on the edge of his territory and he should definitely know about it. He asks tim, who just shrugs.

“That shop is weird. It’s like a grocery store at 3am. I stumbled in there after a rough night and Danny just whipped me up the best coffee i've ever had. Still can’t find their website. I swear it’s bigger on the inside and the door keeps swapping from one side of that fire hydrant to the other.”

Danny comes out and passes Tim a massive coffee cup. “Come back and talk shop with tucker, okay? You’re welcome any time. Both of you, actually.”

He gives Jason a weird look and then goes back inside.

Jason, who is a little concerned that the reverence tim has is more than his average weird worship of coffee (it's just that good) goes back the next day in civvies.

He gets offered the secret menu, danny does the eye thing, Jason retreats to look at the secret menu. Unsure of what just happened, he texts tim.

Jason: Why was i given a “secret menu”

Tim: WTF WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET THAT

Jason: IDK THATS WHY IM TEXTING YOU

tim: I'VE BEEN GOING FOR MONTHS I’M A LOYAL PATRON WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DONT

Jason: the secret menu apparently (image)

Tim: …thats just the normal menu???

Jason: no? It looks like a kid went ham with a neon green marker tf?

Duke: you know this is the family chat right?

Steph: order the waffles

Jason: you order the waffles. Wtf is an ecto-level.

Jason asks for what danny recommends, Danny immediately gives him a milkshake and tells him it's on the house bc he “looks rough.”

Jason is kind if offended, bc he actually got a decent sleep- but then he tries it and its like.

Oh.

Now. Between the stink Tim is making, and the sudden worship that Jason has of this shops milkshakes, the BatFamily is now Curious and will Investigate.

Are the milkshakes really that good?

The full force of the Wayne Family™ isn’t exactly subtle, so they go in twos and threes over the course of a week.

Damian gets offered the secret menu, and is also directed towards Sam’s express vegetarian line. Danny just Knew. Damian accuses Tim and/or Jason of pulling a prank on him, but they both swear up and down they didn’t say anything.

Both Steph (i think? Did she fake her death or actually die idk) and Cass get the secret menu, and they keep trying to ask Tim what certain things on the menu mean. Tim Cannot See what they’re talking about. He’s starting to get frustrated. Is it some sort of magic spell?

Tim takes Kon to Danny’s. (Is it a date? A test date on a low-stakes investigation? Maybe.) Danny, who is really starting to enjoy messing with Tim, gleefully offers Kon the secret menu, and Tim the normal one. Tim bangs his head on the table.

Dick doesn’t get a secret menu, but he does notice a couple disappear through the wall. He’s almost certain he’s seen them before, but it will be a while before he remembers Kitty and Johnny from his early Robin Days.

Duke is also not offered a secret menu, but he can see the writing anyways. He can also see that some of the patrons have weird auras, and what on EARTH is up with Danny himself? He tries to ignore it, up until Steph gets him to order one of the specials off Cass’s (secret) menu. And Danny just kind of sharpens, the air going cold.

“I didn’t give you that menu. Just because you can read it, doesn’t mean you want it. Order off the right menu, please.”

Duke, freaked the hell out by the Biblically Accurate Horror that Danny is shifting into, orders off the right menu and apologizes.

“Oh, it’s alright!” Danny flips back to cheerful in seconds. “It’s just that it wouldn’t be completely healthy for you to eat it, even if you are part immortal.”

Duke bluescreens.

Alright, somethings definitely going on.

Tim and Jason both order the same thing- an oreo milkshake, one off the secret menu, one off the normal menu. Jason confirms the one from the normal menu does not taste the same and isn’t as good. Tim cannot confirm the other way around, because Jason nearly punches him when he attempts to taste it.

They take samples home, analyze them, and go over anecdotes from other patrons, trying to figure out what makes Danny’s so weird. What makes Kon, Cass, Jason, and Damian different?

Wait a second. Kon, Cass, Jason, Damian. The ones that died and came back to life.

It’s around this time that Dick remembers where he’s seen Kitty and Johnny before. Lovers from two houses, both alike in (in)dignity, had a romeo-and-juliet-esque escapade across Gotham, ending in high speed chase with Kitty’s gangster father and a fatal motorcycle accident. Both are dead. Both are in Danny’s.

Danny’s has something to do with death.

Having heard a couple stories about food of the dead, they notify Bruce (who is very concerned as to what exactly his children have been putting in their mouths) and then call in the magic users of the justice league.

It’s a mess. Dan calls Constantine a whore. Deadman and Secret (i think thats Tim’s ghost friend?) get abducted to the backroom. Dani clocks Capt. Marvel as another kid who looks older than he actually is, with magic powers, and his showing him her REALLY interesting travel photos. Zatanna is like “this place needs an exorcism” and danny just goes “ma’am please don’t exorcize my customers.”

Tag list (if you saw me attempt this before no you didn’t)

@nappinginhell @apointlessbox @thegatorsgoose @chaos-n-kindness @mimilikey @phoenixdemonqueen @treepainting @sjrose1216 @akikkobara @malice-of-the-sunrise @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @randomkiddoscrewingaround @call-me-strega @blankliferain @somera-rubina @wordsgohere95 @rukiaai @mirellacoco @stargazing-bookwyrm @bathildaburp @littlefeather345

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

The Witness and Why It (and its demise) Means Everything to Me (A POC Perspective)

Hey everyone!! The Final Shape has ruined me and has brought me to levels of not only grief, but hope, that I did not think possible, so I decided to give my thoughts on the different aspects of it that moved me to a place where I can be at peace with many things in my life and look forward to paving a better future!!! I think I’ll be making many posts pertaining to the Final Shape as a way to help me express my thoughts on how important this DLC was to me, but we will see!

Please note that these are just my loose, not fully structured thoughts and I’m yapping. My opinions are subject to change and I’d love to hear the input of others! We will be talking about subjects such as slavery, religion, black experiences, and personal experiences of mine!!! It’s very long too, so I’m sorry about that and any writing errors!!

Though I do not believe what I speak of was fully Bungie’s intentions when making the character, the implications and views you can take on the Witness do relate to what I will discuss.

I wanted to start off my return to tumblr with one of the many, many reasons why I have such a deep attachment to the Witness (Precursors and Dissenters will get a different post bc they mean the world to me too!!) , because truly, this entity owns my whole life. I think of it all the time, it lingers in my thoughts, my art, my writing, all of it. It has been so deeply intertwined with my enjoyment of Destiny since it appeared and has offered so much to my perception of the world. I do not think I will truly get over it and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t draw it every chance I get. It appears in every single thought of mine, it’s bad you guys.

I love the Witness so deeply because I have never harbored such a personal level of DISGUST for a character before. As much as I joke about it being silly and the love of my life, the very existence of the Witness revolts me to the core and the tragedies it has directly or indirectly caused squeeze my heart empty. This festering rot of an egregore SICKENS me as it is the beliefs that has robbed me and many others of family, culture, and livelihoods given form. My love for the Witness comes from how it instills in me such HATRED, and truly, we were far too kind to it in game.

For context, I am Caribbean American and have a tumultuous relationship with my heritage for many reasons, but it wasn’t until the Witness and its many victims that I felt like the religious imperialism that has affected my heritage was represented in a way that crept into my spirit.

My Caribbean mother always said to me that we are of this world, not in it. That the hearts of men are wicked and sin (cruelty) was embedded in existence itself. It is only when we give ourselves to a higher purpose that we will be free in the end from all suffering. To her, this life and everything in it did not truly matter for it was a temporary challenge to overcome in order to earn an eternity of salvation. A perfect paradise was awaiting us all if we just gave into the way and left everything else behind.

These were all convictions she held to her very core as she tried to shed away all other aspects of herself to give into this “truth”, especially her Caribbean culture.

She did not always believe this way, but to her, the island she came from did not truly matter at all. Those “wayward people” she grew up with were not worth anything and would die as nobodies on that nowhere island for their lives were not saved, even if they knew of the “truth”. In her adopted views, those people believed in false gods and practices (such as Vodou and beliefs that belonged to those taken from Africa and indigenous populations), they invited in frivolous wants of the flesh such as lust (with „improper“ attire and certain dances), and committed crimes that proved to her that they could never be anything more than what they already were (though she would be blinded to the fact that these behaviors are a result of hostile environments created by the systems established for slavery and racial subjugation). If she wanted to be fit for “walking the right path”, those people had to be left behind for they were lost causes who could not be saved unless they were delivered by the “respectable” ways of life. She had to discard her black mannerisms, hair, speech, and more to have a place amongst the truly chosen.

Religious imperialism has a long history of being heavily tied to discussions of race and colonialism as those who participated in subjugation believed themselves to be more enlightened than the people they brought devastation to, giving them an entitlement that drove them to force their way of viewing religion onto populations. After all, in their minds, they were doing the greatest good for they were setting the people they subjugated on a path for eternal paradise. There was no cost too high in this finite life for infinite salvation to colonizers and all efforts to convert populations who did not see this truth would be “necessary”. People would die or be forced into servitude in mass to support the ambitions of the “enlightened” ones, whole cultures and populations being scrubbed from the face of this Earth in an attempt to “heal what is sick”, to “break broken bones again to heal them right”. I think of all the generations lost to war, slavery, colonialism, and every other act done to deliver “purpose” onto others, all the people whose names will never be known because others used the breath needed to utter it on preaching of their own virtue, and I am left in ruin.

I think of how my mother speaks of those lost to destitute lives because of the social pillaging of the island as an unfortunate side effect of guiding them to the truth and I look at how her world view has been ruined.

My mother thought she was saving me by keeping me from my culture, my people, my family. I did not get to know the language, the customs, the land, but I did get to know how much my mother thought those were distractions. She spent my whole life trying to cement the truths given to her by the same people who left her island in such as state that she felt like she had to run from it, to ensure I would not grow into a person, but a vessel of the righteous message. After all, to be a person is to be complex, nuanced, and flawed and there was no room for that in the visions given to her. The complexities and human flaws that came with our culture would only distract us from giving our whole lives to freeing ourselves from the curse of existence.

The cruelty the Witness delivers with such gentleness as it razes civilizations, its unwavering belief that it is the objective truth and other perspectives are blind to this truth, the means it will use to get that “justified” end, its gut wrenching to me and all that has been lost throughout human history to ideologies that bear the same qualities. Its zealous, static nature that relies on circular reasoning keeps me up at night and makes me mourn what could have been if the unfamiliar and hard to understand parts of human expression were allowed to flourish instead of being eradicated for diverging from someone’s vision of what makes a life worth living. I see this big eyed vessel, incapable of growth and convinced of its own righteousness and my chest feels like it is going to cave in. I see its disciples and pawns in the faces of too many people I know and recall their stories in moments that remind me how poisonous what the Witness represents is.

The Witness is an evil that has hollowed out lives, homes, land, and futures, especially for those who come from heritages that have persevered against attempts to “rectify” them. I still grieve the empty life my mother lives and the people left to suffer the consequences of daring to create their own meaning. I look at the face of the Witness and think of the “burdens lifted off my mother’s shoulders” by those who thought themselves as witnesses of a truth that could not be contested with interpretations that could not be questioned. She prides herself on being a weapon wielded to correct the sinful hearts of men, but I just wish she prided herself on being a person because those who “delivered” her robbed people of color of personhood entirely.

The Witness is not a person, but the embodiment of these deeply rooted ideologies and concepts that affect so many. It’s horror, both in game and the parallels it has in reality, is far too grand and unfathomable for me to bear its weight on my soul and not agonize. Its very existence is monstrous, despite the understandable intentions that went into its making, and my stomach churns at the mere thought of it.

How many species in the Destiny universe will we never know about because their whole galaxy was used to get closer to the Final Shape? How many star systems were left barren because of the Witness’ ambitions? How many children, spouses, artists, philosophers, siblings, neighbors, and more, people who were something, became nothing because of eons of the Witness‘ justifications? Bile boils just thinking of it.

What the Witness represents has hung over my head my whole life and its perverse touch lingers on the whole Destiny universe, tracing many of the depraved atrocities in the game back to itself. It’s death in the Final Shape, at the hands of those it had turned into victims and left to deal with the repercussions of its influence united together, moved me in ways I do not think I could ever properly articulate. To see beloved characters I had given a decade of my life to come together from different backgrounds with different reasons to defeat such a heinous entity, I felt like I could do my part to bring others together, despite our struggles and differences, to rebuild what had been taken from us.

As a person of color from a group of people many still think are undeserving of life, seeing so many characters I have related to over the years say “I matter because I decided to and you can’t take that away from me” to an entity who thought itself so refined that it got to determine everyone’s worth strengthened my entire being. Existing as a person of color is bold in and of itself, but the defeat of the Witness at the hands of people who wanted to exist so bad they risked everything for it ignited in me a flame to be audacious. My existence and culture as a poc is unsightly and heretical, but TFS encouraged me to take on the prejudices of others by saying “Here, despite generations being molded into a “perfect” image and so many lives lost in the struggle to live personal truths, ergo sum. Ergo sum and there is nothing wrong with that”.

To me, the Witness’ death showed me that the stains left behind by social structures such as religious imperialism and colonialism can be overcome by people banding together to make the future different from the past. When we embrace the subjectivity of existence, we can create spaces for different views on life to flourish and reconnect with the nuances of this world. We can better the lives of our people, no matter who they are, not by abandoning all cultural practices and ways of life that were deemed meaningless, but by rebuilding our societies to allow for fulfilling lives and self efficacy for all.

My people no longer have to let imperial powers decide our fate for us or decide that we can be nothing other than the „nature of our race“ that they believe is inferior. Instead of looking up at others who asserted themselves as more enlightened for salvation, we can look at each other and realize there is no one truth to life, especially one worth all the devastation and cruelty placed against those who lived differently. The intricacies of life often lead people to belief systems that allow for comfort and understanding, alleviating the anxiety of possibly living an improper life that will forfeit a desirable afterlife. It is up to individuals to decide what makes their life fulfilling and what beliefs will guide their actions, for no one can make your fate but you.

My mother still likes to wear the patterns of the island and keeps paintings of island scenery in her room. She talks on the phone in patois when she doesn’t feel the pressure to be “proper”. She misses her mother because she used to make dishes from home. To relate it to Destiny, she still has the coordinates to her Lubrae in her pyramid despite convincing herself abandoning it all was for the best and there was nothing there worth keeping. I once thought reconnecting with our heritage alongside her would be a frivolous endeavor, but I hope that with time and understanding, the Witness may not have power over her anymore and she won’t look back on her disassociation with relief. Time and understanding will make our island grow and flourish, free to decide what it wants to be, not held back by preconceived notions of the worth of its existence.

Despite all the Witnesses in the world, I will persist on and try to acquaint myself with my culture without shame. The Witness is everything to me because I hope one day it desecrates nothing ever again. I hope the Witness becomes nothing at all and the cultures it has corrupted make themselves something audacious.

Thank you guys so much for reading!! I hope you guys don’t mind the vague language, I chose to spare some details for my own sake and to make the message more applicable!! I’d love to hear the takes of other people about this bc I love hearing people’s perspectives!! And always remember, no one makes your fate but you!!! Go be audacious!!!!

[possamble]

Do you have any headcanons or thoughts about Falin having a crush on Marcille pre-canon? Especially during her later years at the school/the years she was with Laios.

Just full on "awkward and slightly gnc teenage lesbian has a massive crush on the touchy-feely girly girl straight best friend" tropes everywhere. Even better bc it's the "best friend is also the popular girl while lesbian is the slightly ostracized quiet one" dynamic in school. Falin gets so so so good at not having a heart attack every time Marcille gets in her personal space. But she's so resigned to never saying anything bc why would a girl as blinding as Marcille ever like her back. She also doesn't make an effort to get over it either, she's just content to be trapped in that stable dynamic of silently being in love with Marcille while getting to enjoy CLEARLY being Marcille's favourite person. She gets so used to it that it's almost just background noise most of the time-- it would have to be, unless she wanted to be freaking out 24/7 bc Marcille is so goddamn affectionate.

Her feelings also definitely change throughout the time that they're in school together-- at first it was this "whooaaah pretty older girl" puppy crush that you can clearly see developing in the flashbacks we get (I think she doesn't even like... realize her fixation on Marcille is romantic at all until years after it starts, when she's 12-14 ish and all the other girls around her are talking about crushes). But then they get closer, over the years Marcille starts getting really attached and letting down her guard, and Falin gets to see the ridiculous side of her. She gets to calm her down from her tantrums when experiments don't work out, or help her clean up when something explodes in her face. I feel like the progression of her feelings from "schoolgirl infatuation" to "unrequited love" probably almost exactly corresponds to how slowly Marcille goes from trying to keep Falin at a polite but friendly distance (like she does with everyone else) to her facade completely eroding as she becomes her cheerful and ridiculous self again for the first time since her father died.

That's probably the saddest part: Falin knows that she's clearly Marcille's favourite person on the surface level, but she doesn't quite fully grasp the enormity of what that means to Marcille. She doesn't get that she's the person who made the world colorful again for Marcille, that she is the first person outside of Marcille's family to really and truly make her laugh. She just thinks she's the beloved but dinky little short-lived sidekick, one of many that Marcille has had and will have.

Part of it is that, despite Marcille becoming such a clingy and affectionate best friend, I think her initial demeanour already did its damage. You see Falin being super adventurous and weird at first, bringing Marcille berries and other stuff, only to be rebuffed by Marcille exasperatedly saying she's working or looking kind of put off by it. And by the time you see her a little older, shes already quieter and better at masking -- and I'm not saying that that's entirely Marcille's fault (being the weird girl at an all girls academy for almost the entirety of her teenhood must have been brutal, my god) but she definitely learned that she's a potential nuisance to Marcille if she doesn't tone herself down. She learned that Marcille most likely sees her as a weird little kid following her around bc she has no other friends. And for the most part, she was never given any reason to unlearn any of that.

And that all very very smoothly transitions into Marcille being her "first love that was never meant to be anyway" when she leaves the academy. Chapter closed in her mind: she loved and pined from a distance and that was that. Every now and then she'll see another woman with Marcille's build or her shade of hair and be like ":( I miss her..." But then just kinda move on with her day. Same with when she's going through her own spellbook and finds a note that Marcille left her/correction that she made-- she'll smile fondly and reminisce about how much Marcille doted on her, and then move on.

Sometimes she thinks about contacting Marcille but convinces herself that it's too late (she spent too many months focusing on getting Laios healthy again and didn't mean to go no contact, but ah well). It's only when she has a practical reason to be reaching out that would also benefit Marcille ("Marcille is studying dungeons and we need a trustworthy mage to go with us to the dungeons") that she feels like she's allowed/that it wouldn't just be 100% a nuisance.

I almost think she didn't expect Marcille to reply at all, only to get a telegraph (or some in-universe equivalent of express mail, maybe magical pigeon carrier) that's like. EN ROUTE TO ISLAND. LETTER TO FOLLOW. and she freaks out like AAAA LAIOS SHE SAID YES WE HAVE TO CLEAN UP NOW.

I do think getting a response accidentally sparks a little hope in her, judging by the way she acts in the chp 57 flashback-- she's pouty that Marcille sees her as a kid, gets really worked up about being presentable, and then tries to play it cool when she actually meets Marcille (as if she didn't freak out and force Laios to shave while rambling a mile a minute about Marcille). She's an adult now, really and truly, and she's seen and survived things that her 18 yr old self would have never even imagined-- then all of a sudden, the person she was in love with since she was ten years old appears, and she's so desperate to be seen as mature and competent. She's trying soooo hard to impress Marcille with her newfound combat and dungeoneering experience...

Only to fall right back into their old dynamic. RIP. At least she gets the girl eventually, even if it takes dying twice and being the core catalyst behind an almost-apocalypse.

[shentheauthor]

That's ok! But I got a new request! Those headcanons for the Harbingers' S/O clobbering people got me thinking... Can I request headcanons about the Harbingers having a sweet and precious S/O who is also incredibly strong? They just regularly bench press Fatui Skirmishers, like the Electro ones with the hammers, will fist fight hilichurls and win, and carry loads that look like they could crush them with ease. Even more confusing if they have an average or slender build.

Heyo sorry this took so long! But I am here now to write <3

Harbingers with an s/o who’s small, but very strong

~~~~~~~

Pierro:

This man has lived for centuries

He thought he’d seen it all

But when you picked up a skirmisher with one hand and threw him across the room while helping the new recruits train

Pierro almost had a heart attack

He thought he imagined it at first, but the groaning skirmisher you’re helping to stand is more than enough evidence to the contrary

He’ll run over immediately and start questioning how in the hell you did that

Were you born with this strength???? Or did you do some kind of insane magic????

Watches you like a hawk now, but affectionately

Lowkey wants to be carried, but he refuses to ask

If you pick him up without permission tho, he will get SO flustered

Lift that old man, he’s touch starved and he needs it

Capitano:

The fatui soldiers see the two of you as a sort of “good cop” and “bad cop”

Soft, sweet angel, and an absolutely intimidating powerhouse

Imagine everyone’s surprise when you lift capitano effortlessly

Capitano is the most surprised out of everyone

He was just coming back home from being away for a while, and you greeted him at the city’s entrance

And there you go, spinning him around and crushing his ribs despite your average size

The man was too stunned to speak

His first thought is “have you been training??” But he’s smart enough to know that this is probably just

A You Thing™️

He’ll let you train with him now

And help the Fatui grunts train as well

You’ll beat everyone’s asses (politely) and capitano will just go “now this is why we don’t underestimate our opponents”

Now you two are both powerhouses, and everyone is afraid of you LMFAO

The two strongest people in Teyvat dating each other… what are the odds /hj

Dottore:

He’ll probably find out during an experiment gone wrong

A ruin machine goes out of control, and the segments are all working to take it down

AND ITS THE S/O WITH THE STEEL CHAIR (except the steel chair is your fucking fists)

Lifting literal Tons of metal effortlessly and tearing it apart without breaking a sweat

The segments: 👁️👁️

Godspeed, friend, bc they will NOT leave you alone now

When you date one Dottore, you date ALL of them

And all of them want to run tests on you

Or get carried by you

Or both at the same time

Seriously they wanna experiment on you SOOOOO bad

He is an absolute simp for you tho, so he will shut up if you promise to carry him around and help him with other experiments instead

Carry multiple segments at once, they will miraculously not fight with each other bc they’re in your arms <3

The Fatui soldiers thought you were the safe one, the sane one

But now they’re terrified of you too AJGKBKDKVKDK

Columbina:

Omfg dude she is SO happy

She’d probably find out after you pick her up

It’s not exactly hard to do, but she’ll notice that you didn’t even make an ounce of effort

So she’ll ask you to lift more things

Getting increasingly heavy

And she is absolutely delighted

Literally living her best life

You are now her personal vehicle

Carry her everywhere and she is happy

Loves watching you lift impossibly heavy objects easily

She thinks it’s so hot and amazing and impressive

She is so in love <3

Two people who look soft and sweet, but are secretly terrifyingly strong <3

Arlecchino:

She’d probably find out if someone tries to hurt you

Like on a mission or smth

Ruin golems come after you, as they tend to do, unfortunately

Arle wants to protect her soft, sweet s/o

But boom, there you go, LIFTING THAT THING

Bc you don’t want her to get hurt, of course!

She would have a solid 10 minutes of sheer confusion

“Who are you, and what have you done with my s/o”

It’s very clearly still you tho, as you’re checking her over for injuries

Once she’s processed and accepted what happened, she’s even more in love

You’re so strong, and that’s AWESOME

Asks you to help “deal with” insubordination

She doesn’t approve of how gentle you are with disobedient soldiers

But at least watching you lift them up and place them gently in their barracks as punishment is hella fun

I wanna know more about her HoYo…

Pulcinella:

He would not realize for a while

You like carrying him, but he isn’t exactly hard to carry for a normal person

No, he would realize when you’re both on a business trip

Loading luggage onto your carriage, there’s a ton of suitcases

“I’ve got this, love,” you say, reaching for all the very large, very heavy stacks of suitcases

“No, you don’t have to— what the fuck”

Very shocked, very flustered, bc wait, you can do this to ANYONE you want? Not just a little tiny gnome?

Oddly quiet and shy around you for the trip 🤨🤨🤨

This old man is so in love

Definitely watches you if you ever train in any way

Hell you probably have a few friends in the Fatui

He’ll watch you “hang out” with your friends (aka bench press them)

And he will just be :)

Quietly flustered mans

Scaramouche:

He can feel your strength when you hug him and pick him up

He isn’t exactly hard to pick up, being made of mostly light materials

But your lack of effort is suspicious

He has theories, and he will test them by taking you on missions and having you fight enemies

“Will you please lend me a hand”

You’re super sweet, so of course you’ll help

And oh there you go, literally punching through a ruin guard in one shot

Being an absolute ray of sunshine the whole way through

“Are you ok, kuni? :D”

He won’t comment on your strength, but man he’s proud to have such a strong partner

He knows the appeal of allowing your opponents to underestimate you, even tho that’s not what you’re doing

So he won’t tell anyone about it and delight in the shock that everyone else experiences when you reveal it yourself

And if he lets you carry him more often after? Well that’s none of your business…

Sandrone:

She wants one of her larger dolls moved

And before she can get her big robot butler guy to do it, you’re taking care of it

Boom, big robot butler guy has been replaced /hj

Like, Sandrone won’t even use machines to move her dolls anymore

She just has you do it, since you’re happy to help

She’s so excited for the extra help 😭😭 for once

Be honored she lets you touch them

BUT! Also…

She wants you to carry her sooo bad

She will never tell you directly, but she makes it so obvious you always know when she wants it

Sandrone visibly relaxes in your arms

She feels safe and warm and happy

Very glad she didn’t turn you into a puppet lmao

Signora:

She’s so shook omfg

You lifting her is kind of insane, bc she is TALL AS HELL

But you did lift her, and there she is, held in your arms and slowly beginning to blush

“…dear, please put me down”

“Nope <3 your feet look tired, you deserve a break <3”

“…fair enough”

She won’t let you carry her in public, but in private? She will wrap her whole body around you and let you hold her

She thinks it’s funny to watch you just LIFT gunners and skirmishers, bc they’re always so shocked

She will compliment your strength in private all the time

What I wouldn’t give to have her wrapped around me, dancing in her bedroom with nobody else around AUGUHHHHH

Pantalone:

You two get caught in the rain together while in Liyue on banking business

Neither of you have umbrellas, and Pantalone is wearing his nice shoes

You, being a sweetheart, don’t want his shoes to get dirty, so you pick him up and book it to the bank

This man is so confused, flustered, and delighted at the same time

“Darling, you never told me you could lift me like that”

When he finds out you can lift more? Oh my god dude he is so whipped

He wants you to hold him all the time

He just adores watching you carry things around

Especially because everyone stares and looks so freaked out Lmao

This man is literally just… heart eyes, motherfucker personified

Literally so so down bad for you, it’s not even funny

Carry his mora for him, he’ll propose on the spot /hj

Tartaglia:

OH MAN

He wouldn’t bring a non-combatant onto the battlefield

But he would see you training with the soldiers and immediately do a 180 on that

“PLEASE SPAR WITH ME!!!”

You will, bc you know how much he loves it

And you won’t beat his ass, bc he’s very skilled, but man the hits you land hit HARD

He will now show you off to everyone

“Guys this is my beautiful, kind, strong s/o, look at them :D”

Down bad mf

Loves being carried soooo much dude, he’s so touch starved and he wants affection so bad

Hell dude he’ll let you carry him in public

Unless it’s around his soldiers

He has to set a good example after all

But every other time, you will not be allowed to put him down

Utterly smitten mf

[coffeesleep-ooc]

DNNNH but LiuShen

Recently I’ve been watching Dungeon no Naka no Hito and my brain decided ro just spam me with sv thoughts.

(beware spoilers for the anime btw!)

For ppl that hasn’t seen it, it’s an adventurer who tried to find her father in a dungeon only to end up being employed there by the administrator! She lives a lot of new experiences with this new job, like understanding a bit of how the dungeon works, that some monsters ate intelligent, why some monsters drop gems, the relationship between the dungeon and the outside world etc etc…and there’s even some hints of a potential relationship between the cute admin and the protagonist!

So i was thinking her ‘must be strong’ cold no friends personality - even though she is loyal to a fault and still tries her best to find her only family and better her fighting strength - would fit LQG quite well! And administrator-san who is apparently op as heck but happy and sweet and messy like nobody else fits SY!SQQ quite well!

So imagine:

LQG is initially wary bc he (she? him? she??? idk if i should make them girls, it would be cute either wayyyy, girls have their own charm but they work ao well as giya in denial too…) didn’t come here for this, and this pretty person leading him who knows where could always be a very elaborate illusion or trap of the dungeon. But then he actually fights him and its a whole thing that doesn’t let him sleep at night. It was that spectacular…and later on he becomes the only human companion to the administrator of the dungeon, they have other people and beings in there, but still it appears tha SQQ is quite lonely. Regardless, LQG lost and has to fulfill his end of their deal, so he works: he does stuff like move supplies, refill the dungeon’s chests, train in the shadows, and anything and everything SQQ can think of.

LQG doesn’t understand how SQQ can work with so many things around. SQQ is still dying of shame bc his new friend employee saw the surveillance room before he tidied everything up.

He also admires SQQ’s sense of duty and passion. He likes to see him smile and pretend that he isn’t tearfully hoping Liu Qingge won’t throw away the very unusable stuff he has accumulated, like the 100 holes umbrella (‘it will have an use’, he says, ‘it converts water in other random things of the same size of the hole’, he says. ‘Isn’t that cool???’ He also says). LQG likes to watch him pat the fax slime (mo idea where a word like fax came from, but the thing is useful at least) after it spits out documents, or excitedly play with low level monsters in the first floor.

He also likes to see WQW (the resident dwarf blacksmith) scold SQQ for delaying the patrols and forgetting to organize the administrator's room. It’s…entertaining to see his face contort trying not to pout.

LQG likes working in the dungeons with SQQ, with WQW and everyone else.

And SQQ? Well, SQQ is always there for LQG’s progress as a warrior now. He watches him growl and frown when he doesn’t understand something (most of the things related to monsters, magic and the dungeon itself), watches his eyes light up when there’s battle or training, watches him go into pensive modes when there’s something new he just learnt.

SQQ definitely doesn’t listen in secret as LQG tries to imitate the language of one monster they interviewed earlier that day. He does not struggle to silence his giggles when LQG unknowingly says something vulgar.

SQQ doesn’t smile when he watches LQG struggling but doing his best to accept whatever the dungeon throws at him. He is not looking at LQG barely managing to contain his excitement when talking of weapons with WQW and feeling fond. He is not…

Who is he kidding? SQQ is happy he has a…coworker now. He is happy he has a companion. Since the previous administrator left he has been… craving human contact maybe. Just maybe.

*

There is another scene in particular that i think would be extremely funny with these two. When they sit down to eat, imagine SQQ asking LQG why he (or she?) doesn’t eat anything aside from the basic bread and meat that he gets in the kitchen rations, and he says his big sister (almost parental figure) taught him that messing with cooking could kill him if he didn’t do it right.

then proceeds to tell SQQ of the time he tried to put salt in his soup, only to make it a disgusting mess that couldn’t be eaten and would surely kill him if he tried while SQQ (who also has mo idea of cooking) listens with horror

This is someone else’s cue to enter and say:

“You are really strong but don’t know anything of the world, do you? You are not supposed to throw in a huge rock of salt but grind it and use a little bit of the sand that rests.”

SQQ & LQG: Oh…

And then comes chef extraordinaire LBH to try and teach these two about cooking, stopping LQG feom making the ingredients paste, stopping SQQ from tasting the peeling of the onions, amongst other difficult things that make him end up in the floor looking at the ceiling with a lost gaze that speaks of the horrors

he does find top grade ingredients that make him salivate and put puppy eyes at SQQ

LQG has his world changed after one Hap-i mean…one Binghe meal!

*

Or alternatively! Shen Qingqiu has to go renew his contract with the new ruler of the nation and be able to be a self-ruling dungeon-town. He thinks this is too much work. So he asks LQG ro disguise himself as the actual dungeon admin and fight the king in his place! What does hw mean he’s not strong enough yet? Ofc he is! Believe this poor overworked administrator Liu-dada! He won’t let you be in danger anyways! (LQG is unimpressed)

there’s a problem tho, the king wants to win no matter what, so when the fight goes ro LQG’s side he secretly orders his strongest bodyguard to subdue the seemingly soft and weak young master that accompanies the “master of the dungeon” so he can make LQG surrender of his own volition. However, when he turns, the strongest man in the whole country is unconscious himself while SQQ rapidly stands up to cough awkwardly (yes, his eyes didn’t deceivw him, this young master was poking at his bodyguard and playing with his unconscious form). Lets say that the young king ends up fighting an angry LQG while SQQ tries to calm them both down.

when they finally renew the contract tho, SQQ asks if there’s any questions and the king says:

“i-if i may be so bold to say…you fought beautifully, I- this one is called Luo Binghe, could i ask for your name?”

SQQ: o.o

LQG: … ò.ó

SQQ: S…L…! I-I!!! MY NAME IS MU QINGFANG GOODBYE

SQQ was still breathing heavily after the transportation light dimmed inside the admin room.

“You said you were the dungeon’s slime.”

“S-shut up!”

“Wei Qingwei is going to yell at you.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!” (Insert very manly whines here)

LQG feels…annoyed. He doesn’t want SQQ to go away with some king that has no manners. He wants SQQ to stay with him for…for a long time. Mmm, he must be catching something to feel this bad, maybe he shouldn’t have pushed himself so far in training the day before.

The king tried to dins info on this MQF to invite him to dinner, he is still sighing hopefully, sadly that “MQF” has no idea he is losing an interesting meal. LQG finds out and is angry for a whole week for no reason, he wants to go fight the king asap! SQQ is confused.

*

Was also thinking about where SQH would fit in here bc i love cumplane way too much too, and that made me think of Qijiu as well, so this another idea came to the braincell.

L: “Wait, so your shizun is still alive?”

“yeah…the dungeon was his passion and everything, but he found his childhood sweetheart and eloped. I mean, I’m glad he didn’t have just the dungeon you know? But then, Qinghua also eloped! That b-p-person!”

LQG fondly ignored the softly said: “stupid pair of assholes leaving me here to manage their responsibilities!” He already knew that SQQ said that to hide his real feelings.

“and Qinghua was…?”

“oh,he was shizun’s other disciple, but his magic was less combat oriented i guess? So shizun made me his successor…An ice monster kidnapped Qinghua after shizun was gone for two years.”

“An ice monster did what?!”

“Willingly, he was willingly kidnapped to do paperwork and have his children.”

LQG was speechless.

SQQ snorted.

“Im just kidding, he went to become an advisor.”

*

MQF should be a slime.

Ik how it sounds but hear me out too. There’s this cool system in DNNNH (or maybe it should be DNH? Idk) where slimes are monsters of the dungeon that are just there and never attack you, but behind the scenes there’s a gigantic slime that is the “mother”, and the admin periodically cuts bits of the giant slime to produce smaller copies that act like lil cleaners of the place (they dissolve stuff) and qhen they lose most of their magic and become rlly tiny and get to join the mother again.

so, was thinking that MQF should be the head cleaner alime version! So he sends lil copies of himself to dissolve stuff and clean!!! But he sleeps a lot or eats ravenously things that fontain magic power to replwniah his energy so he has lass interaction with LQG and SQQ!

QQQ could be one of the dungeon bosses in a grumpy violet cat form maybe. Other peak lords could also be nom-human staff.

there’s human connections tho! Like the guild’s directors and adventurers that try hard to pass each floor… and the one cooking episode with soup…and fried veggies…

…now im also hungry

*

I theorize that the protag’s father accidentally fell into the demon’s world. So i imagine a big sister LMY happily writing the equivalent of bl after falling into that world lsndmsjsj.

her (or his? Gender bent thoughts attack again) works are so famous that they reach othwr worlds too!

and LQG finds one, he thinks ‘this is…somehow familiar?’ but he doesn’t know why!!!

SQQ finds the book and misunderstands tho. Rip.

“To think he would have this kind of tastes…well, one needs to have a hobby no?”

SQQ read da book, tears da book apart - metaphorically -. New hobby unlocked too!

*

I also think that the king could come to the doors of the dungeon after finding nothing ofthe mysterious MQF and oofer food to the beautiful and shy MQF.

LQG would be raging, SQQ running for his life and the rest of them wondering why the human king wants ro court a regular slime. Though he will certainly manage with food.

*

I may or may not add more to this if i get any ideas…

[boyslit]

ok now that i've remembered! and also gotten my adhd meds for the first time in years xD its time for

SHARK MECHANIC AU!!!!!

for @bearbait-adventures and @cryptic-ink, sorry this took forever 😭

anyway! the basic premise is of course a Sharkface Lives AU but this one has 'adopted by the chorus armies' 'close quarters rivalry with the freelancers' and 'Sharkface gets attached to his ducklings' flavors as well :)

Main plot points:

Instead of stopping and bracing, Carolina takes a leap of faith at the lake below the cliff and hopes to use the bubble shield to break their fall (instead of yknow ALL enhancements). Sharkface gets caught up in the avalanche and gets pushed off the cliff as well buttttttt..... lands in a heap, unconscious.

“Looks like the hill ate up most of that, at least,” Epsilon quips. They watch the pile of snow where ‘Sharkface’ disappeared. It’s quiet for a minute. “Think he’s dead?” Carolina makes a face at him. “I think you’d know if he was.” “Yeah, I was just fuckin’ with you, he’s knocked out from the impact.”

He wakes up in the custody of the New Republic, and Kimball wants what intel he's got. He won't talk in front of the freelancers, but he doesn't give a fuck about the mercs so he spills what he knows (which isn't much to be honest. He didn't pay much attention to anything that wasn't 'Freelancers')

Kimball needs all hands on deck so she's hoping there's other skills he has that they can put to use, if he can be trusted not to attack anyone.

Jensen drives past with a vehicle at that exact moment and they hear a loud crash and Jensen's apologies. Kimball gives a long-suffering sigh and asks if he's a mechanic. Luckily for her, he has some experience.

He gets assigned to their vehicle "bay" and starts fixing things up under the head mechanic's supervision. He's also got a second, secret job which is to prevent Jensen from test-driving or moving any vehicle by driving it lol

Everyone's pretty scared of him bc jfc did you see his face and he's ALWAYS scowling if he doesn't have a look of focus going on. But he's helpful if not congenial and to his dismay and confusion, Jensen takes a shine to him.

Palomo is worried and confused and jealous because he's told her just to call him "Shark" instead of Mr. Sharkface sir, um, Mr. Shark, I mean, uh. lol it also cuts down on the number of "s" she has to pronounce :)

He tries to confront Sharkface about 'stealing his girlfriend' that he's never asked out or even confessed to but Sharkface is like kid sit down and stop worrying. You guys are too young and I don't like girls. Palomo is like. ...oh. Sharkface is like you better hurry up and confess to her though either of you could die tomorrow.

Tucker comes by later and is like dude how the fuck did you do it. (Do what?) Get Palomo to make a fucking move instead of pining like some sort of pathetic teenager. (Aren't they teenagers?) You know what I mean dude, it was pathetic. (Just told him to step on it because one of 'em could die tomorrow.) ...shit, was that really all it took?

Jensen encourages Sharkface to join them for meals at their makeshift canteen but he usually has her bring him an MRE back to the garage and he eats it alone on a crate. Palomo now starts bugging him to join them too. And then Tucker. He's annoyed but they are wearing him down. One of these days he's going to let someone drag him by the hand to the mess hall.... 😩

Haven't written how he gets along with Lopez yet, but I suspect they'd be the sort of quiet bros who work next to each other, never say anything, but consider each other a quality friend lmao it's possible Sharkface knows spanish, but it might be funnier if he doesn't, but Lopez still takes a shine to him anyway because he 1. doesn't pretend he knows spanish 2. doesn't say weird racist/humanist shit to him 3. doesn't talk to him at all and 4. has mechanical skills on par with at least Jensen. he can't be as good as Lopez because Lopez is literally a robot

Carolina tends to avoid the garage so she doesn't inadvertently piss him off and also because Epsilon HAS to make snotty quips or he'll literally die, so she can't risk it. Wash is usually the one picking up a vehicle or checking readiness status down there, and Shark glares bloody murder at him every time he's in there even tho it scares the hoes (the other mechanics get jumpy when he's in murder mode lmfao)

Also out of his armor, Wash is 100% sharkface's type and he's SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT IT. "get out of my school" note type situation for real

Eventually this could probably become an enemies to hatefuck to ah shit I actually feel something for you situation but I just haven't written that far lol

Anyway, I'm sure there's more to plot out re: the actual timeline of the war but I wanted him to be somewhere safe and feel included :) he's one of those guys that needs people, but all his people were killed, and alone he's just going off the rails and a perfect target for manipulation *glares at Price*

ty for your interest, I've been really happy digging back into these 😊

also one last snip bc i like it

"How'd you do it?" Tucker asked, leaning on the open shell of the Warthog engine Sharkface currently had his greasy fingers in. "Do what?" he growled. Fucking stupid little cap was just out of his reach. "Get Palomo to ask Jensen out. He's been like awkwardly crushing on her for months." Sharkface gives him a weird look and shrugs. "Just reminded him they could die anytime so there's no point waiting." "Huh." There's a bit of silence in which Tucker watches him fish the piece out from where it was dropped in the assemblage. "I don't actually know if their gross weird teen nerd romance is any better than him insisting there's nothing going on, but he's not bugging me as much, so thanks." Sharkface squinted over at him. "That's what you came in here for?" "Yeah, why?" Sharkface snorts. "You guys really do just stand around and talk.” "Uh yeah?" Tucker grins. "That's kind of our whole thing, dude." Sharkface smirks back at him. "Hand me that wrench if you're gonna stand in my light."

[dot-png]

bryce Hfj Nd Headcanons u Say... ? Share them Pretty Pleas? wuld Love 2 Hear ur Thoughts Bout that Guy..

i see him having anxiety, clinical depression, c-ptsd and autism

the depression part is kinda obvious as to why if you pay attention to his character but ill elaborate later

the anxiety part is actually technically canon, since he has thalassophobia, which is an anxiety disorder (plus the fact i dont think airy would just randomly add a fun fact to their extra sections - a phobia caused by an actual disorder differs from just an irrational fear so yeah (also caney has epilepsy listed in his extra sections which is a disorder)) i'd like to incorporate that along with the cptsd part since it causes anxiety obviously

as for autism its more of a headcanon for fun rather than with factual basis but ill elaborate on it also

my reasoning for him having c-ptsd is not because of the competition but his childhood, his mom's behavior was so bad that stella had to out of her way to keep bryce away from her

i say complex ptsd specifically because of how he asks if she's having "another one" so we can assume it happened consistently. he also didn't have any way to escape (aside from stella distracting him) considering it was domestic. i dont really think his mom abused him in some way ? but the consequences had to be destructive enough for stella to assume their own home was unsafe for a small child. we don't see much about bryce's relationship with his mom (or his parents in general) but that 100% carried on to his adult self - especially if it happened frequently, and it was super early too because i dont think he was any older than like 7 in that flashback

another factor for this is stella's death ofc, we know how much their relationship mattered to him and how losing her affected him so i dont think i need to overexplain it

as for the way its shown in the show: compared to everyone else, his startled response feels more severe for me, like he always goes on fight or flight mode rather than just freaking out a little. i want to point out one 10 specially

liam shows up at bryces door after 7 months and just stays there for an entire night, during all that time liam just rambles about one and his mere presence is a reminder of one for bryce. one was a traumatizing experience for everyone, but bryce processes it differently, being reminded of that just sents him into shock:

he can't think of how to react until 10 hours later. the way liam reacts at first suggest he thinks bryce is just being rude and purposefully ignoring him, he thinks bryce shouldn't avoid talking to him because he thinks he didn't go through the same amount of pain he [liam] did on the plane and he shouldn't act like he did; but he isn't aware of how anything that remotely reminds him of a bad experience can send him spiraling back to that place, he may not have stayed as long and not have suffered as much (or worse) as liam, but he's been living with this mindset for so long that it's just an automatic reaction. he can panic at anything:

(and i wanna point out how on the first one the shot focuses specifically on him)

and that may seem obvious like, yeah of course he would panic in one 10 of course he was trying to process seeing liam out of nowhere after almost a year but i only went on this tangent and brought that up bc i wanna link it to another thing ....

in one 13 bryce says how "his life was miserable before the competition" and "now that its over he has an incentive to do something with his life". kylie also says that after bryce came back she feels like "he's taking his job more seriously". what i wanna touch on is how the way they put it seems like bryce is trying to like find a purpose in his life, but not exactly find peace ? i don't know exactly how to put it. like he says he was pretty miserable and demotivated he had a stupid chungus life whatever. it feels like he was trying to get his life in order and get more done, rather than facing what was holding him back in the first place and try to make peace with that. he felt unproductive when that's not really the main cause of his misery. which brings me to..

his whole thing with the waiting room. he didn't have any panic reaction, but he was definitely clinging to the past, in this case his childhood and the moments he got to feel safe with stella

now i know the waiting room is designed to make you want to go to whatever's calling you no matter what, but metaphors exist ok . so im gonna consider it a metaphor for his cptsd in bryce's case

he spends the entire episode clinging to the manifestation of stella, but liam stops him from actually going w her because he wants them to solve the whole airy thing first. by the end of it, bryce stops seeing the suburbs as well as stella. when liam and bryce finally get to rest, he says:

he didn't realize that his tendency to ignore his suffering in the past doesn't prepare him for when it pops up again. it send him into terror, he can't help but go back to reliving it, this cycle just kept making him feel worse but he insisted in doing better instead of reconciling with himself

his childhood and one were two different traumatic experiences, but accepting he can't just live what he went through in that competition behind makes him realize he doesn't need to be scared of his past so often. he had to realize he can't just constantly try to repress what happened and move on without reflecting on the way what happened scarred him and continues to affect him; even if he supresses it, it will come back one point and make him go through all that all over again (which is another reason for me to think that people saying bryce dislikes liam is stupid but thats not the point !🙄)

as for his depression season 1 implies it a lot, specially with the flashback sequence in one 7 i can see him having executive dysfunction and it being one of the reasons as to why he tried changing so much after one he also has problems with sleep, and the irritability that comes with experiencing depression in general. also stella's death once again contributes to it

i see him being autistic mainly because he's this trope basically:

(sorry this image is the only way i could put it . you have to understand . ) kylie says how he's not very expressive, and we see how he really isn't. monotonicity is very characteristic of asd, in his case it feels specially like a symptom considering how, in most cases, people don't mean to be as monotone as they are. we know bryce isn't exactly the most chill person in the world he just has a hard time managing and expressing his emotions

bringing up executive dysfunction again, its also a common trait in asd

another thing is his hypersensitivity (which i already talked about a lot), overstimulation can lead to panic attacks you get what i mean. i think he fits as being sensory avoidant

the way he handles most social situations in the show (specially on the plane and with liam on season 2) i can see him being oblivious to social cues

not exactly factual basis just a little analysis, i interpret him being low empathy but high compassion. i think the low empathy would be more related to his irritability

[i-still-mask-because]

i still mask bc i knew how awful a covid infection can be on the body, i read about long covid and it scared me, i never had terrible effects from covid aside from sinus problems but that was enough for me tbh. I am the only one in my house who masks, i try to tell my family to please mask and well my brother is a full on eugenicist who doesnt care about literally anything, my dad says it makes his beard itches, and my mom always says she will start but doesnt but at least she goes out of her way to buy me masks. She gets me good ones too like she got me n95 idek where she got it, in my city stores are slowly stopping the selling of masks. After the pandemic """"ended""" everyone at my highschool dropped the mask, even my friends who said it was so important stopped. Now i'm actually immunocomprimised as of verryy recently because of stuff with my liver and the doctors had no idea wtf but i was on this medication that helped alot but made me more at risk for infections and i was sooo so anxious, of not just getting covid but any viral sickness. I'm the only one in my house who masks and washes my hands religiously and i feel like the people around me simply dont care besides my mom ofc. But again she doesnt even mask herself despite saying she will, i think if i convince her enough she will start maybe. Its weird bc she works with actual disabled people and she tells me she thinks its awful how noone at her job masks even though they are directly working w disabled people who live independently, working in their own homes. Last time i got covid was in june and it lasted like 3 days but i was so worried and also angry because i am the only one who masks and washes my hands 100 times a day and i still got covid somehow, probably from my disgusting brother who is always sick. Whenever i take public transportation i always see a few people masking and it makes me happy but the vast majority of people dont mask and people bring their children on the bus without even putting a mask on them! They are children!! Aren't they more at risk of getting a beating from a sickness? I traveled earlier this year to cdmx to visit family and i was really anxious and made sure i had masks and people were boarding the plane coughing and sniffling while not even bothering to wear a mask. My very priviledged family in cdmx dont mask unless they are in downtown where the pollution is bad, and in that city i saw soo many more people masking in public and people were way more aware of the fact that we are in a pandemic compared the the city i live in Canada. I already felt guilty enough for travelling but i kinda had no choice and i still wanted to see my family but ugh. I'm really glad this blog exists because i know i'm not alone, i do see more and more people masking but its alienating. Its alrdy alienating enough being someone with very leftist politics among a fascist society and among people who are blinded by their own privilege everyday. Sorry for thr long ask, i hope ppl w similar experience see this and can relate.

😷

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

how so this is kinda dumb and embarassing which is why I'm on anon even tho you're really sweet and nice but there's this one blog I adore and the person who runs it is AWESOME but I'm sooooo nervous about trying to become friends with them😭 I was just wondering if you had any advice and if not you can delete this sorry

Heyyyy no sweat! I totally get this, ngl, I had the same thing. Idk what exactly your situation or relationship with them is right now, but I'll tell you what mine was.

There was this blog I stumbled across which was SO COOL and she was clearly utterly intelligent and loved Jesus and just overall amazing and seemed a lot similar to myself. So I just started spamming her asks and was delighted with her answers. Then I DM'd her about how one of her answers where she used a personal life example was similar to mine, and she asked me to elaborate, and we went back and forth a tad about shared experiences.

Then I continued to just- spam her notifs and go back and forth in her asks a lot lol. Not as like a cry of attention, because I really and truly did admire her and agreed (and still do) with like 95% of the things she says (and to this day once in a while I'll go ? over her proccess of arriving at her conclusions, but I almost always agree with her conclusions, because they are *biblical* and follow literary analysis incredibly well, and etc etc etc [you can tell I really like my friend lol]), and I wanted to interact with her more, but if that was a byproduct I wasn't going to say no.

Then one day my other friend dared me to tag her in a post and straight-up ask her to follow me. Which. Took a lot of guts bc at that point SHE WAS STILL INTIMIDATING TO ME but it worked then bam we were mutuals and life was beautiful. Don't know how I pulled that off lol.

Then fast forward to me just continuing to be myself and talking into her ask box and comments a lot, accidentally tricking her to like me (seriously I have NO idea how or why she likes me sometimes ack), and maybe trauma dumping asking for help and advice for things we've both struggled with a time or two, and her introducing me to seemingly almost every piece of media she likes ever and me falling in love with it all, and now she says I'm her online best and closest friend. And yeah, same for me. <3 Love you my best friend.

She's only slightly intimidating to me now, that that's when I'm going through my own issues lol, its not on her, just my brain being dumb. (oh yeah big thing with this is to not trust your feelings about someone being intimidating- just go for it! Scary but people are a lot more open to friendship than you think) I lovingly annoy her alllll the time now and she seems to appreciate it, so! There's that! Yay! Greatest platonic love story of all time or whatever.

I don't know if basically annoying them into liking you would work, but it worked for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Try over and over and over again to establish connection and invest in them personally and really and truly do get across that you love and care for them is what I'd say.

And actually the biggest thing I've found about people that may be intimidating is that they just have a different way of communicating than I do. I'm naturally inclined to reach out a bunch, and bring up things with others first, and connect over people who share my strong opinions, and I do get a bit gushy about what I like about people and telling them about it, and such, but that's not everyone! And the fact that you might be the one DMing first, or bringing up different topics first, or asking for advice or just to casually chat first, or anything first, doesn't automatically mean they don't like you! Could just not be their preference. There's a difference between someone just not thinking to reach out first and actively ignoring or not caring for you. Or with like, I don't know, compliments. Not everyone lives and breathes those. But maybe with the person you're thinking of, they're not common but very much deserved and just as loving, but more 'rare'.

I hope this helped in some way!

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Heathers+Veronica play D&D

What a surprise, another random AU that I came up with

So one day the gang is hanging out and JD mentions that he wants to play D&D with them and he thinks it would be fun

Everyone but Chandler is all for it while she, like usual, is being a bitch about it

'Its a nerd game and I'm not a nerd' and 'It sounds boring'

Eventually Mac uses her puppy-dog eyes which makes Chandler relent and agree to play the stupid nerd game

JD DMs while The Heathers, Veronica, Betty and Martha play

He's the kind of DM that goes all out, spending untold amounts of money on minis and other kinds of shit

Eventually the day arrives where they start playing

They enter the room and holy shit JD decked the place out

He put blackout curtains on all the windows and turned the lights off so the room is pitch black besides the candlelight of a chandelier he hung on the ceiling

He put a fancy looking blood red tablecloth over the table

At each seat there is a set of dice in each person's assigned color (The obvious for the Heathers and Veronica, Pink for Martha and Purple for Betty)

They aren't the cheap plastic ones no, they are the metal ones that are as sharp as a knife

JD himself is wearing a gray cloak that covers his face

They sit down and JD begins the campaign

The premise is simple, they are students at a magical academy where a series of murders has happened recently, and they have decided to take it upon themselves to investigate it

However, there is a twist

One of them is the murderer, and it is their job to make it to the end of the school year and graduate, thereby being able to flee the investigation and live freely

Of course, they don't know that the killer is one of them, except for the one who was assigned the role

He starts by going over each of the player's characters

Betty drew a picture of everyone's characters to get an idea of what they all look like and she shows off the picture when they introduce themselves

The Heathers are all named Hecate bc of course they had to have the same name in D&D too

There's Hecate Carnation, Hecate Dahlia, and Hecate Magnolia

(Their last names are all different kinds of flowers bc their actual name, Heather, is a type of flower so they thought it would fit)

HC is a Sorcerer who comes from a long line of powerful magic users and came to the academy like her parents and grandparents before her to hone her skills

She looks pretty much like what she looks like IRL and she acts like how she did in High School, acting superior to everyone bc she thinks she is

She thinks that solving this simple Murder Mystery case won't be a problem for someone as talented as her

So basically she's Claire from I'm In Love with the Villainess

HD is a Wizard (Or Witch ig, the class name is Wizard but she's a girl sooo) who came to the academy to learn the Wizarding arts from the talented professors the academy employs

HD also looks like IRL Duke, but much taller and with longer sleek hair compared to Duke's short curly hair

HD acts as the check to HC's id, being the ego and the one who can rationally look at a situation and make the best course of action from there

She's not very good with emotions, however, and can struggle to act appropriately in emotional situations

HM is a Druid who hopes to get some hands-on experience with the Druidic Work while studying

She is the superego to the other two's id and ego, the one who can look at a situation with both emotion and logic and determine the best course of action from there

She also looks generally like IRL Mac, but she has light brown hair compared to blonde and is a bit less muscular and more well endowed in certain areas

The Hecates joined the investigation as they are obviously the most capable of doing so, and as such they have a responsibility to be apart of it

Veronica is Vadina Siannodel, a High Elf Cleric

She picked Cleric bc she just knew that the Heathers were gonna do some dumbass shit and she was gonna need to bail them out with her healing

She is also the only one of them to pick a non human race

She joked Duke should pick a dwarf bc she's so short and Duke elbowed her in the stomach

She looks kinda like Frieren from that anime (She watched it with Duke around the time JD said he wanted to play so it influenced a lot of her character choices)

Vadina is a model student, the one who always aces her exams and does everything she can to help those at the academy to prove those who didn't want her there wrong

The academy is generally only open to humans and other races, especially half-elves and other mixed races, are looked down upon and by and large not accepted to it

But, because of Vadina's overwhelming academic talent she was admitted despite the prejudice at the academy

But with the murders occurring, many suspect the non-human students of being the murderer, especially Vadina, who many assume to be behind the attacks as an attempt to off her academic competition, and so she joined the investigation to prove her innocence

Martha is Megara Deepcrest, the Warlock, who made a deal with the demon Jami for power in exchange for the occasional sacrifice (animal, not human)

While everyone assumes that she is the one who did it, she knows that it wasn't her bc her patron desires the blood of fauna, not humanoids, and this school ain't big enough for two Warlocks

Everyone is just kinda stunned bc they assumed she would be a Druid or something but they did not expect Martha the Warlock who sacrifices animals in elaborate rituals every full moon to maintain her power

She looks nothing like Martha, she is a tall, lanky figure who wears a cloak which covers all but her hands, which reveal an elaborate tattoo on each palm and her fingers are covered with rings with unknown gemstones in the center

She is not in the uniform of the academy but all the professors are too scared of her to say anything

Finally Betty is Barnabas the Bard

Out of everyone Betty is taking this the least seriously, she heard the stereotype of bards seducing everyone and thought that was hilarious and decided to make her whole character around it

She put all of her stats into making sure that her seduction rolls would have the highest chance of being succesful

It kinda ruins the whole vibe JD had going on but whatever as long as she's happy

Her plan is to figure out who the murderer is then seduce them into not killing anymore

Once JD got all of their character descriptions he had to decide which of them is the murderer

He ruled out Martha immediately because it would be too obvious, he couldn't think of a motivation that would fit Betty's, and Veronica, while giving him a reason to pick her as the murderer, would probably have more fun trying to find them instead of being them

That left him with the Heathers, which works as they had created their characters together as a well-oiled machine, so by throwing a wrench into it he could make it more difficult

He settled on Mac bc he thought it would be unexpected, but then he realized that she is a terrible liar so he switched to Duke who agreed to be the murderer

Duke is smart enough to know how to cover her tracks and has that element of chaos that would make it more fun

HD's motivation is that the wizard track was overcrowded with students who weren't born with magical abilities and were forced to study, and it made it hard to stand out, so she eliminates other students, knowing that the school would turn their attention to the wizarding track, where she would be able to show them how talented she really is and hopefully be placed into higher-level classes

She also knows that even if the other three get suspicious, the other two Heathers would never suspect her and that infighting may allow her to get away with things

**Line break bc tumblr is dumblr**

So from there the campaign starts

They meet once a week, Wednesdays at 5:30 to 8:30 at JD's, Betty's and Martha's house in what became referred to as the D&D room

It starts with the group forming after the 3rd murder this month and an overview of all the evidence found so far

So far there had been 9 total murders over the school year

JD put a dossier on all of the students on the table and had all the players look over it

They quickly discovered that all 9 students had been in the Wizarding Track, but besides that they had little in common

They had a range of academic scores, came from a variety of different backgrounds and had varying social standings

The group came to the consensus that their culprit was probably in the Wizarding Track

They decide to then get a list of everyone currently enrolled in the Wizarding Track from the School Dean, to which Duke suggests that they also find anyone who used to be in the Wizarding Track as well

By doing that Duke hoped to increase the suspect pool and introduce the idea that it might not be someone directly in the Wizarding Track

They get the list from the Dean and in total there are 30 students in the Wizarding Track and 9 Former Students who transferred out

The group goes back to HC's dorm and they discuss the game plan

Vadina says that they need to eliminate suspects one by one and narrow down their options, which everyone agrees too

HC tries immediately eliminating HD form the list, arguing that if she was the killer she wouldn't be part of the investigation, but Vadina counters back that this could be a cover up and a chance for her to mislead them

Duke is sweating bullets and trying to seem as inconspicuous as possible but thankfully both Chandler and Mac stick up for her and even Betty and Martha think it would be unlikely that someone would join the investigation if they were the killer

That discussion stops when Chandler threatens to make Veronica sleep on the couch if she keeps accusing Duke so she backs off

From there, they spend each session looking into one or more of the suspects, interrogating them and comparing their testimonies against the evidence, and eliminating those from the list who could not possibly be the killer

Chandler rolls so many Nat 1s and she swears up and down that the dice are rigged (They totally are, JD and Duke both thought it would be funny to see her get mad over it when she didn't even wanna play in the first place)

Much to JD's horror, Betty's seduction strategy works more often than not and despite his attempts to put a stop to it, she always finds a way around them

JD (speaking as the NPC): "I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not attracted to women"

Betty: "Ya wanna bet?" Out of character "JD, If I roll a Nat 20 and add that with my +5 bonus can I still seduce him?"

JD (Done with her bs): "Sure why not"

Betty: rolls a nat 20

JD (Doing just fine he lied he's dying inside): "You all watch as Barnabas somehow seduces a gay guy, and as JD regrets all of his life choices"

It becomes Mac's mission to make as many animal friends as possible and to stop Martha from sacrificing animals to her demon overlord

Whenever they have to fight an enemy that is even remotely animalistic, Mac tries to roll for Animal Friendship and to make it her friend

Like one time they were fighting this Tabaxi (Cat person) and Mac tried to use Animal Friendship, arguing that even tho its humanoid its still a cat and therefore an animal

She ends up somehow becoming friends with an Owl Bear and she plans to use it to smell some cloth left by the killer and track the killer

Duke acts quickly by sending a quick text to JD while hiding her phone under the table so no one sees saying that she does something to agitate the Owl Bear, sending it into a frenzy which allows Duke to kill it, saving herself

When the party questions JD on that he says that somebody did something to anger the bear

Mac got pretty upset after this so after that session they all went out for ice cream

Over the course of the sessions Veronica becomes more and more suspicious of Duke but no one believes her despite the mounting evidence that points to her involvement

Sometimes at the start of sessions JD will add that another student died, sometimes just a random that they hadn't gotten too or one they had decided wasn't the killer, but sometimes it would be someone they heavily suspected, forcing them to question themselves further

Eventually they get who they think is the culprit and they are arrested and the group thinks they won, only for JD to start the epilogue where he says that because of all of the deaths that she caused, Hecate Dahlia was able to stand out more among her class, allowing for her to be placed in the upper classes and get a better job once leaving university, and that she lived the rest of her life guilt-free for both the murderers and the innocent person she condemned to death by framing them for the murders she committed

Veronica jumps out of her chair screaming that she knew it the whole time but the rest of them didn't believe it and that she was right and they were wrong

Mac, Betty and Martha look betrayed

Chandler storms out of the room and tells Duke that she's sleeping on the couch for a while

Meanwhile Duke and JD are just cackling about how they actually got away with it

Duke ends up sleeping on the couch for a month before Chandler lets her back in

Whenever someone brought it up Chandler would get pissy and they would say "But I thought you didn't wanna play the stupid nerd game Chan-Chan?" and she would only get more pissed off

[alsoanyways]

@transgender-scout @1ight wait fuck now i have to compile them okay okay okay i have a feeling this is gonna get long so I'm gonna put it under a cut haha but for real thank you for asking!!

First things first! This is how I imagine the flock is able to disguise themselves. There's no going undercover at an actual school for them, but I don't think anyone's looking twice at a bulky coat, especially if it's set in the future. Not too far in the future though, still in the 21st century. I have no ideas for a plot restructuring or anything, I never read past Nevermore and I barely remember anything past the fourth book, so most of my headcanons are character dynamics and such. I do have some that aren't focused on the flock but not many. Anyways.

(also idk if most of this can even be considered headcanon bc its basically fanfic at this point)

A couple things I should've added to the design post are Toto's Total’s nonexistence (I'm sorry if you like him but I do not lmao) and the fact that their hair is feathers. Like those very fine and very long feathers that roosters get. The flock also doesn't develop superpowers.

In my version of things, there's a small town close-ish to the E shaped house. Far enough that no one in town is gonna drop by for a visit, but close enough to fly down to for some groceries, which they'd do after Jeb left and until the money was gone. I think he would've taught them how to forage for things and that's how they get by since then.

Max (21) isn't The Leader TM either, I think leadership is shared more with Fang/Friday and Iggy. She likes volleyball and usually the one to go foraging. She's never thought about it but if she did, she'd probably consider herself agender.

Fang/Friday (22) gets his name from a Friday the 13th DVD cover, Jeb thinks he wants to be called Jason when he first points to it. He used to help Nudge/Dora and Angel with their hair when they were little and still does occasionally. He likes to draw and he's the go-to when someone needs to be comforted. There's no way in hell I would let him be anything less than bisexual.

Iggy (20) is the one that probably hears Friday's voice the most. He was also taught braille and Jeb got them a labeling machine. He's still the best cook and he's very protective over the vinyls/tapes/cds in the house. He mourns the loss of them when they have to flee the house, but he is excited to finally have access to new music. He's also gay. Because I said so.

Nudge/Dora (17) still wishes she could live a normal life, but has accepted that it's just not a possibility. She clings to "Dorothy" when she learns it. Being talkative and into fashion are still part of her character, but now she also loves bugs. She tags along when Max goes foraging so she can try and get pictures of any new bugs she hasn't seen before. Friday often gets to hear which bugs and what they were doing when they're sketching together.

Gazzy/Gizmo (14) gets his name when he watches the Gremlins movie for two months straight and starts mimicking the mogwai noises. He almost kills everyone when he mixes a couple cleaners from under the kitchen sink. He's quickly enamored with the chemistry books he's given afterwards. Like any other teenage boy, he likes video games and has too much energy for his own good. Max offers to race him when he's particularly amped.

Angel (11) is the only one out of the group that wasn't experimented on and she doesn't get the protectiveness or why they never go anywhere. She likes sitcoms and never refuses an offer to forage with Max. She also took a liking to helping Iggy cook things. She was very quick to tell people she wasn't a boy once she had the vocabulary.

Ari (15) has chronic pain. Being turned to goo and rebuilt into something different will do that to you. It doesn't get better the second time. Nor the third. He used to live in the E shaped house, before Jeb brought Gizmo, back when he was a regular kid. He's always liked animals, caring for them. He wanted to be a farmer or something when he grew up. After he joins the flock, he and Gizmo are fast friends. (Watching him and Gizmo dick around is what makes Friday realize that he really is just a kid.)

Maya/Em (21, kinda) my identity issues queen!! Cloning keeps the original memories intact and then they were further messed with to ensure her allegiance. She has a hard time coming to terms with that, with not being Max, not being who she thought she was. Her friends aren't her friends, she didn't watch Gizmo and Angel grow up, she didn't go to Friday after another nightmare, or call Dora to come catch a spider. That wasn't her. Having time away from them before she joins the flock helps. She renames herself Em during that time, distinct enough from Max but not removed from it completely. She learns that she likes cooking and she discovers cheerleading. She thinks she'd like that if she got the chance to participate. She's also aroace. She wants nothing to do with any of that.

Dylan (21) sticks closest to Em, but he eventually grows close to Iggy as well. They share a soaring/gliding wing shape and Iggy is grateful to have someone who can fly as long as he can (recreational flying is always cut short in his opinion, because the others have to work harder to stay airborne and get tired). Dylan likes to tinker around with motors and mechanisms, trying to get them to work again or building them from the ground up. Not that he has an abundance of opportunities to do that, but being able to fix a busted car comes in handy. He's one of them gays that can drive.

Lastly, I do have ideas on Erasers and different classes of them and their usages but jesus christ this did in fact get very long and I need to go eat something lmao so that'll have to be a separate post for another time.