#like seriously what a brilliant way to open that episode

[poison-into-positivity]

the opening sequence in discomfort where alma and louis are playing pirates with stede and then it jarringly cuts to stede being actually stabbed while alma's voice says "and that's how we treat pirates"? the best transition in the history of television i fear

[respectthepetty]

I'm here to report on the colors in episode four of Wandee Goodday, but first a few stray thoughts like I have another image to add to my collection of Yak looking at Dee crazy,

yet still going along with whatever Dee wants.

Also, Yak being bothered that Dee didn't immediately think of him as a friend was a good beat in establishing the "friend" portion of their benefits. They are friends who share their lives with each other and scheme together, and I'm glad the show is explicitly stating that.

Because the way the conversation began paralleled the way Yak wants to approach Taem about their relationship - What are we? "Are we datin'? Are we fuckin'? Are we best friends? Are we somethin' in between that?"

But also the nurse stating Yak must care a lot for his lover to get the vaccine and Yak looking immediately at Dee was perfection because 1) safe sex isn't just about you but about the people you are sleeping with,

2) you shouldn't be ashamed of caring about sexual health, so even if you hide behind queer pamphlets, drink water, get the shot, wear the condoms, and use the lube. Also, PrEP isn't just for men just like HPV vaccinations aren't just for women, and

3) it showed that Yak does care enough about DEE, his lover, to take their sexual health seriously -> Yak is on that Bed Friend's King level of sexy, and I'd go through the entire Kama Sutra with them both once all our test results came back clear.

Translations are always iffy but Ter mentioning that Dee wasn't thinking about his professional persona while Yak reminded Dee to not include his face in the pictures and Yei mentioned his brother being fine with Cher when they first started dating gives me hope that this show is going to lean more into the layers of being out because even though that "666" told me Ter was el diablo, he continues to make comments like that and Golf's other show, The Eclipse (which has been featured often in this show) was very much about (not) passing and levels of outness.

Yei and Yak's dad was a world champion boxer, yet he wasn't mentioned in this mom-focused episode and the mom is the one who opened the gym, so is the space that Cher and Yei are giving Yak to figure his feelings out something they weren't given by the father? Because Cher was worried about the pressure Yei was putting on Yak to move up a class.

And if the gym was the mom's, with all of its yellow, is Yak really like his mom as Dee assumed?

Because putting the opening scenes in black and white is an easy flashback technique, but in this particular story, where Yak and his mom are bright yellow, it was a painfully good choice to take the color and brightness out of the scene.

And it was an even better choice to parallel Dee comforting Yak in the same way Yak comforted him with a warmer (yellow) light than his normal purple one.

Because Dee is already in his feelings about Yak without realizing how deep he was, which is why he is wearing a soft yellow while Yak is wearing Dee's fake blue.

When they practiced what Yak would say to Taem, Dee thought about all their moments together, so he is falling quickly, while the signs are pointing out that Yak isn't there yet.

But I wouldn't be there either if I was still daydreaming about this beautiful goddess who always rescues Yak with her brilliance, sassy personality, singular focus, and yellow folders, but that sounds a lot like someone else.

A Purple Prince who is also brilliant and focused on winning but wild and sassy. Good to know Yak has a type. (Sidenote: the music choices swinging between romantic to tension-filled as the scene flipped between Taem and Dee was another great choice)

Because Taem is taken, even if not officially. She matches her guy. She had on a dark brown and black shirt, so he had on a dark brown cardigan with a black tie.

And she had on a brown-striped shirt with a black star, and he had on a brown jacket with black writing and a black tie.

Then again, Dee is no consolation prize. Not looking like that at least.

No wonder Yak is conflicted about what he feels when he looks at Dee because he most certainly is sexually attracted to him because *duh* who wouldn't be attracted to Dee (TER!), but as they sit in Yak's black and yellow room, it becomes more apparent that whatever he is feeling isn't just sexual desire.

And when Dee scratches his back just like his mom used to while tutoring him, it starts to become clearer that Dee, wearing his necklace, and in orange which is sooooo close to yellow fits easily into his life. (Sidenote: Together with Me taught me that in Thai, being itchy is slang for being horny, so good for this show and its layers)

Dee works so well in Yak's life that Yak is willing to get three shots to continue to have sex with him which can take anywhere from eight months to over a year to complete because each dose is spaced out by at least two-to-six months. Basically, Yak committed to a long-term plan . . . with Dee, who is chilling in his yellow-striped shirt.

So it's not surprising that Yak is wearing a deeper blue next week as he holds Dee on the couch since he is far more invested in this fake relationship than he originally intended.

I could write 5,000 more posts about them and this episode which I probably will.

But know that even though the blue Yak is wearing is getting deeper, I will not be satisfied until it turns into purple.

That's when I'll know they are both in love.

[roe-and-memory]

every time someone says cars 3 is the worst cars movie another angel punches me in the stomach and pulls my hair.

this is probably just my intense special interest in the origins of nascar, but that movie feels like such a nice send-off for the main “trilogy”, and yes people can have their own opinions but i NEED to talk about how much this movie means to me

first of all, a major misconception is that lightning quit racing - he DIDNT! this is proven by both the end of the movie (where he says hes obviously going to keep racing) and cars on the road where, in the final episode, cruz and lightning wish each other “goodbye” and say they’ll see each other on the racetrack. he was only cruz’s crew chief for that one season, presumably healing from the trauma of the crash (because lets be real his ass did not mentally recover from that in FOUR MONTHS) and also waiting for a permanent crew chief to take his place.

second.. the sheer amount of detail put into that movie is INSANE. the racing center being shaped like grandstands at a track? fireball beach being both a direct reference to the daytona beach race course and also “fireball roberts”, a 1950s racer (he was actually the reason that firesuits were mandated in the sport), we meet a bunch of 1950s racers as well and just augh.. so good. also, the detail of thomasville being in north carolina is brilliant - N.C is the “racing state”, and thomasville speedway is based off of north wilkesboro, a track that was opened in 1949, and last used in 1996 (aside from the series of races in 2010), and it fell into disrepair. (fun fact, north wilkesboro is reopening in 2024 for the nascar all star race!! they fixed my bbg)

third. cars three brings so much more lore than the first movie did. yes, we knew doc raced in the 50s when the sport was getting its start, but in cars 3? they brought in characters based off of real 1950s racers (doc is based off of herb thomas, smokey is smokey yunick, lou is louise smith, junior is junior johnson, river is wendell scott, and leroy hemming is tim flock) (another reference in the movie is “jocko flockos party supplies” as macks disguise - jocko flocko was tim flocks pet monkey that was the FIRST and only co-driver in the history of the sport. he won a race with his monkey in the car with him :) )

as i was saying, the lore we learn is insane. we learn that lou and river had to fight for their place in the sport, which is similar to what both louise smith and wendell scott experienced in the 50s, they show us accurately how racing worked back then too - they didnt have fancy pits, they had a fence and a pit member with a sign that would tell them to come in the next lap for service. all of these cars are gen 1 nascar, which means that they were strictly stock - they had much more intense pit sessions than any of the other “built for racing” generations have ever needed. i recall watching a race wherein smokey yunick had to change the radiator of one of his racers vehicles mid-race due to a crash.

this isnt everything, but seriously for an animated movie about talking cars, they discuss grief and hardships and handle them so well its insane. i know cruz isnt everyones cup of tea, but (in reference to the flip scene at the end of the movie) watching cruz get shoved into the sport must’ve been insane for lou to watch. she saw herself in that girl. it wasnt some movie about lightning giving up, it was him sharing the torch with another kid who lost their way just like he had.

also i dont cry at movies but i literally bawl my fucking eyes out at the letters scene every time. its PATHETIC (its not im literally tearing up just thinking about it)

[lisacameron99]

Revelation S.R.

Summary: based on the Criminal Minds episode Revelation (2x15)

Y/N Hotcher (Little Hotch) x eventual Spencer Reid

Warnings: angst, Spencer being tortured, Tobias Henkel, usual Criminal Minds stuff?, swearing, reader/I being really angry at the world because she loves Spencer but won't admit it, friends to lovers, emotions, idk if I am missing anything

LONG AF AND NOT PROOFED

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where’s Spencer?” I asked, looking around the farm. “And JJ?”

“I don’t know, come check out the barn with me and Prentiss.” Morgan told me. We made our way to the barn and when we opened it, JJ pointed her gun at us, eyes wild.

There was a lot of commotion with trying to get JJ to lower her gun. I noticed the dead dogs. Jezebel. Oh God.

“Tobias Henkel is the unsub.” JJ told us once she realized it was us.

“We know,” I said gently.

“We just thought he was a witness. I had to kill them.” She said referring to the dogs. I glanced at the dead animals again and rubbed my temples. “There’s nothing left.”

“JJ, where’s Spencer?” I asked her but she didn’t answer me.

“JJ, look at me,” Prentiss prompted. JJ focused on her. “Where’s Reid?”

“Oh, uh, we split up. He went around back.”

I ran back outside to tell Dad and Gideon that we found JJ but not Spencer.

"Dad,” I called, running up to him. “Dad, JJ was in the barn, but Spencer’s not.”

“We searched the rest of the property and the house and he’s not there either. Neither is Henkel.”

“So,” I gulped, looking at my dad. “So where’s Spencer?”

“I don’t know. But we will find him.” Dad promised me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was standing with JJ and Emily by the ambulance while they checked JJ out.

“Hey, any sign of him?” Prentiss asked Morgan and he shook his head.

"You can't find Reid?" JJ asked, confused.

"Not yet," Prentiss told her.

"Prentis, Little Hotch." Derek pulled us away from JJ. "I think Reid followed him into the cornfield, it looks likes somebody got dragged." I rubbed my temple, trying to push away the stress migraine that was impounding.

"Hey, what's going on?" Prentiss asked the officer who just got off the phone.

"The sheriff two towns over. He just gave directions to a man who fit Henkel's description. It's to a motor lodge in Fort Bend."

"Let's get Hotch and Gideon." Morgan said and I went back to JJ.

After hours of not finding Spencer, morning came which brought Penelope too.

"You know they do have hotels in Georgia." She told me and Aaron.

"There's no sense splitting time between here and a field office." He told her, ushering her into the house.

"Right." She agreed warily, looking around the property.

"Think of the house as a witness," He explained to her. "If it could talk, what would it tell us?"

"My guess is it would tell us to get the hell out." She responded.

We made our wait into the main living room and JJ greeted Penelope with, "Welcome to our nightmare."

"His computer is an extension of his brain," Gideon told her. "I need you to dissect it."

"I'll get you set up, come on." Derek told her, taking her to where the computers were at.

"I'll come with," I mumbled, walking past my dad and everybody else, to go with Penelope and Morgan.

The rest of our team filled Dad in on everything, but there was no evidence pointing where Spencer and the unsub could be.

"Okay, right out the gate, the guy is self taught." Penelope told us. "His mainframe is totally idiosyncratic, but it's pretty brilliant."

"Talk to me about what this son of a bitch watches online. What the hell is all of this?" Morgan told her, trying his best to figure out the computers and how we could use it to help us know Henkel better.

"It's tame stuff, video games, software sports. Seriously, if I had to guess whose system this belongs to, I would say a crazy smart high school kid."

"Well clearly it's not Penelope. Can you please find us something that will help us find Spencer?" I snapped before walking out the room and back outside.

I hated this. How could Spencer have gotten so far away so fast? Where the hell was he being held? Please God, I begged, please bring him back to me. Please. I hadn't prayed in years, especially with my mom and dad fighting, but I knew we had a slim chance at getting Spencer back, and God was probably the only person to bring him to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey guys!" Morgan called to us, I looked up at him from where I was sitting with Gideon on the steps. "I think I got something."

I ran over to where he was and he found a cellar.

I pulled out my gun as Morgan opened the door. "Tobias Henkel, FBI!" Dad and I followed him inside. We got our flashlights out and searched the ice cellar. "Tobias Henkel! Tobias!"

Dad moved closer to the unmoving body. "I think we just found Henkel's father." Well, shit.

We made our way out of the cellar and let CSI do their thing while we went back into the house.

"You need to get some sleep." Gideon told me and I rolled my eyes. "Sometimes it felt like I had two dads between Hotch and Gideon.

"I'm fine."

"When was the last time you slept?" JJ asked me.

"When was the last time for you?" I snapped back, my anger seeping through. I wanted to find Spencer. I wanted him back.

"Y/N, you need to get some sleep." Dad told me and I stomped my foot.

"Is that an order?" I demanded, looking my dad square in the face.

"Yeah, it is." He shot back and I threw my gun on the table, making JJ jump at the noise. I went into the living room and grabbed my blanket and my dad's pillow from the corner and laid on the floor to take a nap. There was no way in hell I was sleeping on any of the furniture here. After a few minutes, I felt JJ come sit by me, resting her back against the couch.

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

"I'm sorry too." I muttered back.

"I'm so stressed out that I can't sleep." She admitted after a few minutes.

"I can't either. I just want to find him." I relented.

"I saw you guys, at the club. You danced."

"Liquid courage fixes a lot of the world's problems. Sometimes."

"You guys would be cute together."

"You must be sleep deprived."

"I know what I saw at the club. You both like each other, you're practically dating anyways, why not just make it official?" And with that thought running through my brain, I fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morgan just told me that he thinks the stressor is the father's death, which happened about six months ago." Dad told me and Gideon as we sifted through the papers.

"So basically he has split personality disorder?" I banged my head on the table.

"This journal is filled with religious ramblings." Morgan told us, coming into the room with the journal. "He notates hour by hour. November 15th, 3:17 - if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will. And it goes on and on. 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42. But then it goes blank for days."

Morgan handed me the journal and I looked at it, getting a sense of who Henkel was. Dad put a hand on his head, thinking. "Maybe he got sick of writin'," The sheriff suggested.

"I think I got it," Dad said, and I looked at him hopefully.

"What is it?" Gideon asked him.

"Yeah, Dad, what did you figure out?"

"Journal entry - December 6th - father sick, wants me to put him down. I say, "Thou shalt not kill," He says, "Honor thy father." Must pray for guidance." Oh. So he killed his dad...

Before I could finish my thought, Gideon interrupted. "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"

"Some sick sort of mercy." I muttered, flipping through the journal in my hand before giving it back to Morgan.

"This is two months ago. Tobias Henkel's father had been dead for four months already." Dad told us.

"That's exactly it. Look at the floor," Morgan told us, pulling a chair out for us to see. "These scuff marks are fresh." He was right, they were. "I mean it's like two people were moving the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

"So?" The sheriff asked.

"This journal matches Charles Henkel's handwriting, but it was written after he died. Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom - it's got junk puled from the floor to the ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection." Morgan explained.

"So are you telling me, one of Tobias' personalities was his father?" The sheriff asked, trying to make sense of this situation.

"Well," Gideon put in, "Tobias was raised with a strict religious code - black and white - right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

"And his brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so it split into two personalities." Dad said.

"To keep his father alive." I finished.

"So... who is Raphael?" The sheriff asked, confused.

"My guess - he's a mediator between the two. Angels have no human emotions. Live or die, they don't care, as long as it's God's will."

"We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

"I'll get Penelope on it." I said, standing up and walking to the computer room.

"Pen, I need you to log into the system as Tobias' father."

"The system was set up three months ago. The dad was already dead."

"She knows that, smarty pants, but do it for your favorites anyway, alright?" Morgan said, coming in behind me.

"Okay," Penelope said, starting to type.

"Charles Henkel." Derek told her.

Tons of horrifying imagines and videos showed up on the screen. I closed my eyes and cracked my neck. This was going to be bad.

"Woah," Penelope said trying to take it all in.

"He's crazy." I mumbled. "Like crazy crazy. I can't imagine having split personalities, let alone, one of them be insane."

After a few minutes of Penelope trying to do her thing, the computers went blank.

"What happened?" Morgan asked her, confused.

She wasn't much help because she was equally confused. "I don't know?"

"What do you mean, you don't know?" I demanded, scared.

All of a sudden on most of the screens, Spencer showed up. He was bound to a chair beaten and bloodied.

"Oh my god." Penelope said, taking the words straight from my mouth.

"Guys! Guys!" Morgan shouted to the team. "Get in here!"

"He's been beaten." Prentiss said, assessing him.

"Can't you track him?" JJ asked, confused. I put a hand over my mouth, trying to remain composed.

"Henkel's only streaming this to his home computer." Penelope told them.

"This is for us, for Y/N, he knows we're here."

"I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick." Morgan spat, angry.

"Why can't you locate him?" Dad asked Penelope.

"He's rerouting to a different I.P Address every thirty seconds. I can't track him."

"Can you really see inside men's minds?" Tobias asked Spencer. "See these vermin. Choose one to die. I'll let you choose one to live."

"No," I gasped at Spencer'svoice.

"I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior." Tobias said.

"You're a sadist ina psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word's not true." Spencer told him, trying to snap him out of the personality he was in. Tobias was either Raphael or his father at the moment.

"The other heathens are watching. That whore of yours, she's watching. Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved."

"I won't choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like poacher." Playing into the fantasy. Good job, Spence, I thought.

"Can you really see into my mind, boy?" Tobias demanded lifting Spencer out of the chair. I gasped audibly, grabbing onto Gideon's arm. "Can you see I'm not a liar?" He yelled. "Choose one to die, and save a life. Otherwise, they're all dead."

"Alright," Spencer gave in, not wanting more people than necessary to die. "I'll choose who lives."

"They're all the same." Tobias spat at him.

"Far right screen." Spencer finally said.

"Marilyn David, 4913 Walnut Creed Road." Tobias said.

"You got that?" Dad asked Penelope.

"Yeah." She said, typing her fastest on the computer.

Gideon typed the phone number on a phone and it dialed.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end said.

"Marilyn David. My name is Jason Gideon. I'm with the FBI."

"What?" She said alarmed, Gideon told her to turn her computer off immediately and she did so.

"You're Raphael." Spencer said. Before anything else could happen, the screen went dark. Morgan walked out of the room, angry, and punched the door. I gripped JJ's hand hard, needing the contact to stay grounded.

"So now what? We wait for a 911 call, and hope we get there in time?" The sheriff asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the next victims were killed, Dad, Gideon and I went to the crime scene.

"Slaughtered, same as the others. We've got roadblocks for a fifteen mile radius. Every unit's on the road, but so far nothing." I pushed the stray hairs out of my face and looked at the crime scene.

"I don't know how much longer Reid can hold out," Dad said quietly, giving in to his fear that Spencer might not make it.

"Who were the victims?" Gideon asked, ignoring Dad.

"Pam and Mike Hayes. He was a local defense attorney."

"And what Bible passage was left?" Gideon asked another question. I went and stood next to him.

"Isaiah 59. No one calls for justice, "no one pleads their case with integrity. They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies they conceive trouble and give birth to evil."

Gideon got close to the camera, "Reid, if you're watching, you're not responsible for this. You understand me? He's perverting God to justify murder. You are strong than him. He cannot break you."

"We're not getting any closer." Dad told us.

"Reid's brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive." Gideon said, trying to reassure us, himself included.

"You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain, but I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

"Lead by example." Gideon responded.

"What kind of example is that?" Dad asked.

"He'll make it."

"He has to." I whispered. "He has to make it." God, I prayed. Bring him back to me. Please just bring him back to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We can trace their whole family history." Morgan said, looking at the evidence board we made up. "Here we got happy, smiling pictures of Tobias. Report cards all As and Bs, but as an eight year old, we get nothing."

"That's his mother leaving." Prentiss said from her spot next to me. "Six months later, on the other side of the board, we have a form from child services saying they paid a visit."

"Then Charles starts keeping journals about punishing sinners and needing to remove the devil from his son." I added. "Which corresponds to Tobias' drug use. He's trying to escape."

"So wherever Reid is, it was Tobias' choice, not this fathers." Morgan told us.

"How do you figure?" Prentiss asked him.

"Look at these two lives." Morgan pointed out. "They're like inverse graphs. One's getting weaker while the other one's getting angrier. Tobias would run away, his father would have stood and fought."

"Okay, so Tobias uses drugs as an escape. I'll go back through the journals with Y/N and see if we can find anything connecting his drug use to a hiding place."

"Uh, where's Gideon?" JJ asked walking into the room.

"He's upstairs. Why? What's going on?" Morgan asked her. JJ glanced at me before responding.

"Henkel's jut posted the latest murder."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all gathered in the computer room to watch. It was horrific. Absolutely horrific. In everyway imaginable.

"I don't understand, why can't we just shut it down?" Gideon asked, pacing, confused by technology.

"Because I can't pinpoint his IPF." Penelope tried to explain.

"Just remove it once he sends it." Jason told her.

"It doesn't work like that." I said. "It's the internet."

"It's the internet, sir. Like Y/N said. Once something's out there, you can never take it back."

"It must remain. You can't undo anything."

"Right, you can't once it's up. Once it's up, it's up forever."

"I hate technology. Can you please do something? Anything? I do not want him thinking he has a pulpit."

"I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus. I'm gonna do that. Okay." Penelope sent it out.

After a few moments, Tobias, as Charles, started streaming live again. "Do you think you can defy me?" Tobias said.

"I don't know what he's talking about." Spencer pleaded with him.

"You're a liar! You're pitiful! Just like my son. This ends now." I gasped when he pulled the gun on Spencer. "Confess your sins. Confess!" He hit Spencer in the face, making me cry out.

"I haven't don anything! Tobias, help me!" Spencer begged. I covered my mouth, tears streaming down my face.

"He can't help you. He's weak." Tobias, as Charles, said to him.

"Tobias!" Spencer cried.

"Confess your sins!" Tobias, as Charles, demanded again.

"Help!"

"Oh my god. He's killing him." Penelope said. I put the other hand over my mouth, trying to stifle my cries as Spencer started choking and the chair toppled over with him in it. He was dying. Actually dying.

Gideon stormed out and Dad, Prentiss, JJ and Morgan raced in. I hugged Dad tightly as Penelope explained what happened. Dad pulled away and went to get Gideon. I continued to silently cry. God, please, please save him. Let him come back to me. Please. I kept praying it over and over in my head, hoping He was listening.

Tobias came back into the room and started performing CPR on Spencer. Eventually after a few rounds, Spencer started coughing and breathing. I let out a strangled cry before clamping my mouth shut.

"Wait, wait a second." Prentiss said. "When was the last video posted?"

"9:23." Penelope responded.

"And - and what was the time of death?" She asked.

"The 911 call came in at 9:04 and the murder must have been moments later." Dad told her.

"That's only a 19 minute difference!" I said, looking over at JJ who nodded.

"How long would it take to post the mpeg?" Morgan asked Penelope.

"Two or three minutes." Penelope mumbled, guessing.

"Let's call it two." Morgan said.

"You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area." I piped up again. "That means Henkel has to be within a seventeen mile radius of the crime scene."

"Garcia, can we see it on a map?" Dad asked her and she did what he asked and pulled it up on the computer.

"Call Farrady." Gideon said. "I want that area locked down like it's martial law." JJ got up to go call him.

"Guys."

"You came back to life." Tobias said as Raphael.

"Raphael." Spencer said.

"There can only be one of two reasons." He declared.

"I was given CPR." Always with the science.

"There are no accidents. How many members are on your team?" Tobias, as Raphael, asked.

"Excluding me, seven."

"The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail and they were thrown down to earth."

"He thinks it's Revelation. The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death." Dad said, understanding the unsub.

"Tell me who you serve." Tobias, as Raphael, demanded. Pulling Spencer up to sitting.

"I serve you." Spencer croaked.

"Then choose one to die." My eyes widened in fear.

"What?" Spencer asked, confused, trying to stall and come up for time.

"Your team members - choose one to die." He repeated himself.

"Kill me." Spencer pleaded. What?

"You said you weren't one of them." He reminded Spencer.

"I lied."

"Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies!"

"No!" I grabbed Dad's arm in a panic when he pulled a gun on Spencer. Dear God, please save him. Please save him. Please. Please Please.

He rolled the chamber of the gun. "Choose, and prove you'll do God's will."

"No." He clicked the gun. Dad used his free hand to cover his mouth.

"Choose." Tobias, as Raphael, demanded.

"I won't do it." Spencer told him, looking him square in the face. He shot again, but no bullet came out.

"Life is a choice."

"No." The gun clicked again. No bullet.

"Choose."

"I... I choose Aaron Hotchner." There was a moment of relief before Spencer started talking. "He's a classic narcissist. He think's he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4. "Let him not deceive himself and trust in emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense. In emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Tobias, as Raphael, took the bullet out of the camber. "For God's will." and put it back in and spun it.

We all walked out into the main room. "I'm not a narcissist." Dad said.

I looked at Gideon and then my dad. "Come on. Look. You can't take anything from that. He's not in his right mind, Hotch."

"Dad, he's trying to live." I pointed out.

"No. Stop. Stop." Dad said. "Alright, everybody right now - what's my worst quality?" Nobody said anything. "Okay, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

"You're a bully." JJ said, referring to how he treats unsubs.

"I'm a bully," He agreed.

"You can be a drill sergeant sometimes." Morgan said.

"Right." Dad agreed.

"You don't trust women as much as men." Prentiss said.

Dad looked at me to say something but I shook my had. I wasn't going to say anything back about my dad.

"Okay, good." He relented. "I'm all of these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team, because I don't ever."

"You don't, Dad." I agreed with him. Not sure where he was going with this, I indulged him nevertheless.

"I don't. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. And he also quoted Genesis chapter 23 verse 4." He picked up one of the many Bibles around the house and handed it to me. "Read it."

"I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may burry my dead out of my sight." I read from the Bible.

"He wouldn't get it wrong unless it was on purpose." Dad scoffed, knowing that Spencer tricked Tobias/Charles/Raphael.

"He's in a cemetery." Morgan concluded.

"I don't see a cemetery." Prentiss said, looking a the map on Penelope's screen.

"Call up the first time we saw Reid." Gideon thought aloud. Penelope did what he asked. "I won't choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

"Check to see if there's any poaching in the last couple days." I demanded, pacing back and forth in the back of the room.

"Okay, uh." Penelope typed as fast as she could. "A farmer reported two sheep being slaughtered on his property."

"Where are we talking?" Morgan asked. She pulled it up on the map.

"What's that patch of green there?" JJ asked her.

I moved closer to the computer, wedging myself between Dad and Gideon.

"Marshall Parish. I think that it's an old plantation." Dad said.

"Wait." Prentiss said.

"Tobias wrote in his journals about staying clean and keeping away from the Marshall." My brain rapid fired.

"Guy's there's a cemetery on the grounds." Penelope told us.

We all rushed to the vehicles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Spread out! They have to be on foot! Let's go!"

"Spencer!" I screamed. "Spencer! Spencer!" I screamed when I heard the gun shot. I ran towards the noise, everybody else right with me.

"You alright?" Dad asked Spencer after getting him on his feet. I stared at him blankly. He was here. He was alive. He was here.

"I knew you'd understand." He told Dad, hugging him before moving on to JJ.

"I am so sorry." She told him. I put my hands on my face and tried to remain calm. He was alive. He was alive. Thank you God. Thank you for bringing him back to me. Thank you.

"It's alright. It wasn't your fault."

"Let's get you out of here." Gideon said, reaching for Spencer. Spencer pushed away from him and into my arms. I burst into tears.

"I'm okay, you saved me." He mumbled into my hair. "I'm okay."

I clutched to him, holding onto him tightly. “Please don’t leave me again.” I begged. “Please.” I bagged my hands in his shirt.

“I won’t. I’m okay.” He repeated pulling away after a few minutes.

“Okay, let’s get you to an ambulance.” Gideon said again.

“Please - can I have a minutes alone?” Spencer asked.

“I’m not leaving you again.” I clutched his hand.

“I’ll just be a minute.” He squeezed. “Okay? Just a minute.”

Gideon pulled me away from Spencer, giving him a minute.

When Spencer caught back up to us, I held his hand again.

“Please don’t leave me.” I begged as we got to the ambulance.

“I won’t, I won’t leave you.” He promised me sitting in the back of the bus. I leaned my head on his shoulder, sighing at the nightmare this case was.

Part 2 coming soon!

[bakedbakermom]

okay @deathsbestgirl asked so here is my little essay on why folie a deux is THE quintessential x-files episode. the distillation of everything that made it great.

so. first of all. imho, the best episodes/monsters are the ones who draw from a genuine human fear, turning our small private anxieties into full-blown paranormal horror. who among us hasn't felt like our job was sucking the life out of us, our boss was a monster, and every day in the office you inch closer and closer to being a zombie? in folie, it's TRUE. imagine the terror of seeing your coworkers reduced to walking corpses, no one believing you, knowing your turn is coming. the skittering noises creeping closer and closer. you, helpless at your desk. (also the late-stage capitalism certainty that somehow your corpse will be forced to work even after you're dead.)

then we get profiler!mulder, gently mocking himself ("monsters? i'm your boy") - showing off his brilliant mind as he dissects lambert's manifesto, empathizing with him to protect the hostages even as he endangers himself. he goes even further after lambert dies, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that he was written off as a madman, putting together the pieces that no one else even cared enough to look for. this is mulder at his CORE. the man who believes, who wants to believe, who doesn't let the label of "crazy" stop him from opening the box to see what's inside and decide for himself, who puts justice and truth above reputation and even personal safety. no one takes him seriously, he knows EXACTLY how it feels to be labelled and dismissed, and that makes it all the more important to find the answers.

meanwhile scully is doing the exact same thing, but in her particular flavor. digging through the files to find the phrases that rang out in the manifesto. protecting mulder during the hostage situation by sending in disguised SWAT cameramen (because she remembers duane barry Very Well, and if she can't be in his ear this time, she'll send in someone else to be her eyes). she doesn't want to do the autopsy, she doesn't want to see; but she is so curious and so unself-consciously committed to understanding the world through the lens of science that once she starts to see the pieces, she cannot not start putting them together. THAT is scully at HER core. she also covers for mulder when he goes off on his own, because while she may not believe him or stand behind his methods, she knows he only does this because his heart is in the right place. and if there's one thing she has to protect, its his heart.

then. oh. then. we get the msr-iest line to ever msr. one in five billion. if ever there was a beating heart to the x-files, it is that. i trust you, you trust me, and when we trust in each other god himself cannot stand against. in an episode about not knowing if what you're seeing is what is true, the way they SEE each other, understand each other in this scene is almost painfully poignant.

(i hope when pincus looks back at the time he was nearly caught, he recognizes the poetry inherent in stumbling across the only two coworkers he could never divide.)

finally, the ending. what always makes this show work, to me, is the way mulder and scully come together, bringing their disparate viewpoints and opposing investigation methods and ultimately synthesizing one truth, one solution that saves the day. seeing things the way the other sees, so both can understand. here, it is literal. scully comes to it from her own direction, finding the science to support mulder's theories, and that is what allows her to see the truth of what he sees. (field trip does something similar, but that time it goes both ways, buuuuut that is also an essay of its own.)

so, yeah, what makes this episode x-files condensed into its purest form: our characters charactering perfectly, a premise that is both grounded and terrifying, the idea that it is only ever the two of them who could figure this shit out because they're so perfectly matched.

even the phrase folie a deux IS the x-files. that basement office is a bedlam, population: 2. a madness only two can ever hope to share.

[sugar-coated-prat-dragon]

Title: Morgana went into mama-bear mode over child Mordred because of fate ✨✨✨

Episode: " The Beginning of the End" questions #1

Questions by @tansyuduri

Tagging: @miyriu

Books used for reference: Sword and Sorcery & Merlin Complete Guide

Question: Gwen notes that she’s never seen Morgana this attached to anyone. It’s a surprisingly good point.

It it the seer in her showing though?

My answer: Fate was pushing them both together (Merlin Complete Guide)

'It's like nothing I've ever felt before, she said. 'Perhaps I was always meant to help him …

Even though Morgana doesn’t completely understand her own feelings, she feels drawn to the druid boy and feels instinctively that she’s meant to help him.

Morgana immediately felt protective of Mordred to the point that even the thought of him being killed was unimaginable and she mused that a large part of her would die with him.

Even though she’d only just met him, Morgana felt such strong maternal instincts that she could understand the grief and anguish mother’s felt when they lost their children.

In fact, Morgana’s obsession with the druid boy was so great, that Merlin had to seriously considered whether she would turn in both himself and Gwen in order to protect the boy, if it came down to it.

Book description:

1. Morgana has strong maternal feelings towards Mordred, and can't even explain to herself why she reacts so strongly to him - almost as if it is fate that is pushing them together.

2. Gwen said to Merlin as they waited anxiously for the others to arrive. 'I've never seen her this way with anyone?”

*I'm sure she just wants to protect him; said Merlin. Of course he wasn't sure at all, but he didn't want to worry Gwen with his own fears about Morgana's obsessive attachment.

He almost made a joke about the boy casting a spell on her, but caught himself just in time.

3. Deep down inside that Gwen had a point. It was true that she knew nothing about the boy.

All she knew was that if he died, a large part of her would die with him. 'There is a bond between us, she said.

'Stronger than the bond you have with Uther?' said Gwen.

Yes. Because there was no longer a bond.

Uther had broken it when he took the child

4. 'It's like nothing I've ever felt before, she said. 'Perhaps I was always meant to help him ..

Even as she said it, she realized she didn't know quite what she meant.

5. 'No!' Morgana screamed. The child could not die, he could not be taken from her.

She had thought she understood the agony of the parents who had watched Uther sentence their children to death; thought that, through her sympathy, she had shared their pain. She had been an ignorant fool.

This pain was like nothing else in the world; she had never felt the smallest part of it before.

6. It wasn't that Merlin didn't trust Morgana, not really; but he'd seen how she was with the boy.

If there was a way she could save his life by handing them over - well, Merlin wasn't entirely sure that she wouldn't.

7. But Morgana had never experienced anything like the emotion she felt as she gazed into the eyes of the Druid boy. She knew she had to save him.

8. After a few moments his eyelids began to flicker open, and she was captured once more by his brilliant blue gaze. She couldn't look away.

Such a wave of love and compassion surged through her that she felt quite weak and giddy.

[theconstantsidekick]

no because, supernatural is absolutely a train wreck. it's a colossal accident that is happening in front of you that you can't look away from. it is homophobic and non-sensical and downright laughable at times but you know what? I love it. I absolute love it.

season 1 was absolutely beautiful. you don't understand, really, you don't. they had a piss poor budget, you can see that in every frame. but does that stop it from being fucking beautiful? no. it is stylised and ambitious and a fucking visual treat.

and this is like the first fucking episode. the shots have so much character! and that's nothing to say of the characters themselves. from the first fucking scene you can clearly distinguish sam and dean's character clear as day. their motivations, their dreams, their hopes, all of it. it's established so well. their dynamic is unmatched. does it also have a lot of garbage? yes for sure. because what in the name of hell was that episode with bugs? what glue were they sniffing when they green lit that one? no seriously... I wanna try some.

but then they recovered, cause they did faith. my god, what an episode. WHAT AN EPISODE. that motherfucking reaper haunts my every waking hour

like yeah, I love me some baby dean and baby sam going on their small scale ghost hunts while learning deep lessons about who they are as people and what they want from life.

also that 'laugh I nearly died' needle drop? where sam sees jess? god tier editing, GOD TIER.

then they came back with season 2. and here is my most controversial opinion that should not be controversial at all, season 2 is the best season of supernatural to ever supernatural.

what is and what should never be, hollywood babylon, heart, nightshifter, and the whole fucking season actually. not a single miss in my humble opinion. and that finale? THAT FINALE. beautiful, magnificent. ground breaking character writing, everything comes full circle while simultaneously opening up new plot lines to explore.

and my god, yellow eyes is an epic villain. he is a very viciously written villain like, he's... my god. it ain't a walk in the park writing villains, believe you me patient readers, villains are harder to write than the protagonists, always. well, at least the compelling ones are.

now season 3 suffered because of the writer's strike, but didn't miss much either. like yeah some of the hits don't hit as hard as the season 2, but hey, mystery spot, time is on my side, ghostfacers, bedtime stories are nothing to laugh about. those episodes are fucking solid, like most of the season. and there is so much raw emotion is sam's need to save dean, it just makes my weak winchester brothers loving heart throb a little too hard. also...

need I say more?

does the show did look little more washed out and boring? yes. but it's cool, cause we're moving on to season 4.

listen, I kinda just wanna leave all my season's critique at this. i mean, yeah this. this is it. this is the long and short of it; castiel. i don't think i need to get anymore into it

so season 5 is just—

i'm kidding. obviously i'm gonna talk about season 4, at length.

listen, being able to introduce angels this late in the game and then have them be a such perfectly hidden players is a masterstroke of genius. it just is. i am a writer guys... apart from the relentless fanfic as well lol. and when i tell you, introducing a new big player which is also (not so) secretly the next big bad and playing it off as smoothly as they did in season 4, is beyond hard. but the biggest home run these fuckers hit is castiel and the best part is they weren't aiming for a one lol. and oh oh, the way they use their very VERY limited budget to show wings with just flashing the fucking light? CINEMA! that's fucking cinema right there man. i work on film sets, i am telling you, this is the smartest filmmaking choice they make on the entire show. it adds so much visual intrigue while being so awfully easy to execute. BRILLIANt.

now i cannot talk about supernatural without talking about the deancas romance of it all, which i understand not everyone can see or wants to, which is fine. to each their own. you consume art the way you want to, i don't care much as long as you can acknowledge that castiel and dean's friendship was just some of the best written television that mankind has ever seen. is that too grand a statement? yes. does that make it any less true? no.

they even brought back the moody lighting.

and then there's the episodes this season, most of which are home runs in their own regard. just like beautiful writing, the character development for cas, for dean, for sam, even the late john winchester is wild. anna is a wonderful addition, so is uriel, and alastair? they don't make villains like him anymore, they just fucking don't. AND THAT GODDAMN PLOT TWIST AT THE END? man! the finale was just... too good. Chuck's introduction is absolutely wonderful, even if they ruin him by the end but that happens a decade later so wtv, who cares? But,,,, Jimmy. Fucking. Novak. That's all. that's the tweet. yeah. i'm gonna end the season 4 fan fair with jimmy.

moving to season 5.

subjectively speaking, this is my fucking favorite. this season is a writer's dream while also being their goddamn nightmare. so many WONDERFUL characters to play with and such a grand plot but you get to see it all on a very small, consumable scale which is just... it's too smart for me to not mention. i won't start naming the plot points and neither will i name my favourite episodes because what even is the point? all of it was fucking perfect. you don't understand how hard it is to develop characters to such an extent that they become so familiar to the audience that they know their next move before you even put it on the screen. and supernatural had that. they tied everything together with so much care and consideration, just... AAAH so good.

a special shoutout goes to endverse!cas, crowley and death this season. you all know it in your bones that those three were just the absolute scene stealers. especially death's introduction... immaculate.

they did lose a few points for not being as aesthetically pleasing as the past few seasons but hey, gabriel was enough to make a smooth recovery.

but this... this is the end of the road for me people. season 5 is where it should have ended. in no way shape or form am i saying that there aren't a few good episodes here and there after this, because there are. i think season 5 was so fucking solid, tied up so many goddamn lose ends and then just put a cute little hell shaped bow on top and i just... yeah. this was and should have been the end of the road. do not get me wrong, i love me some jack kline, charlie bradbury, kevin tran, rowena macleod and eileen lahey but were they worth the bullshit ending i had to sit through? not really.

i absolutely think if there weren't more episodes of supernatural I would never have become a destiel fan, because i started shipping them when dean made cas a mixtape in season TWELVE! but my god, the good times were so scattered amongst the horseshit that even when i found those hidden gems, they were so fucking drenched in the stink that they lost their value.

the worst of it all is that, i cannot explain to you what supernatural means to me in a million words, because it is a part of me, heart and soul. i fucking AM castiel. i am a gay little angel you hear me? i love this show. i do. i'm glad it went on for however long it did but i feel like once in a while i need to write shit like this or read shit like this to remind myself of the show that it used to be. of it's beautiful cinematography, of it's clever little storytelling techniques. of it's wonderful cast. of how epic their song choices used to be.

FUcking RENEGADE? iconic. wanted, dead or alive? cannot hear the song without hearing sam's off tune goat bleating that he called singing along.

i need to remind myself of how afraid i used to be of lucifer. of how much i cried while watching dark side of the moon; when dean and sam burst the crackers, and how i learnt the lyrics to knocking on heaven's door just because of that scene.

sometimes i just have to walk through memory lane and look back at gabriel's death, the good one, the only one. it was so fucking meaningful. i have to think of "we are making it up as we go" to be able to breathe properly because those moments were so fucking beautiful.

fuck the big ones, i even remind myself of the small ones, of dean's handwriting being in all caps, just like him. of sam's fucking huge laptop with that weird blue black sticker in the middle. of castiel's tie, that just was the right shade of blue, and hung all wrong but just naturally enough to add so much more to his character than any fucking dialogue could. every small little detail of supernatural that made it so damn supernatural. i miss it all.

idk. i'm rambling. whatever.

[waitmyturtles]

HYPERBOLIC SPOILERS FOR THE PHENOMENAL SECOND EPISODE OF OS2 x BBS x ATOTS

Can I feel so much in just one sitting?! Besides the UTTER giddiness of yesterday’s episode, at least for today, I think I have some actual, sensible, legible analysis to offer. I’m really moved, almost to tears.

I mean, as I blogged just a few minutes ago, part 4/4 of this second episode WILL go down in history in my heart as OBVIOUSLY some of the BEST, most STUNNING content in the HISTORY of anatomical and muscular analysis filmmaking. Yes. 

I’m seeing on Twitter some grumpiness for the comedy of this all (the girlies want more woop woop?! I mean?!), but I seriously think this whole crossover set up and the way it’s been written is brilliant. And I don’t think this is just for fun. 

But first, regarding the comedy and some other one-off points -- I mean, I knew that all four of these guys would be great, but their comedic TIMING, with the writing, is spectacular. They clearly had a FANTASTIC time filming this, and you can see it -- while they didn’t have much time to actually film it, it’s so well done.

I really want to call it, I really want to see it, I wanna see more subverting of the ships, and I wanna see these guys do more with each other separately -- I’m excited to see the implications of OhmEarth and NanonMix next week, and I think that Aof might be making a huge point by separating these guys, pairing them up together with others, and mixing shit up, because that’s what he does (especially while I have He’s Coming to Me on the mind soon on my OGMMTVC watchlist). 

Another one-off point: like I wrote yesterday, we’re getting a double-dose of nostalgia, and I also wrote that I haven’t had to wait NEARLY as long as most of y’all for the return of BBS and ATOTS. But that being said, even though I only watched ATOTS last fall, I actually literally nearly cried when I saw the ATOTS flashbacks and heard the music. Because the way that show was designed in 2021 (I got so much OGMMTVC on my mind) -- those motifs WERE designed to imprint themselves in our memories as remarkable for a kind of cinematic, bildungsroman BL that we weren’t used to seeing back then. That show was nostalgic not JUST for the damn ship, but for Pha Pun Dao, for Chiang Mai, for the Thailand that Aof celebrates vis à vis EarthMix in ATOTS and Moonlight Chicken. 

It’s gorgeous, and he knows what he’s doing by putting PatPran in that mix -- another couple at a different stage of their relationship, with a background and shared struggles that are different than TianPhupha’s, but that still offer both freshness AND nostalgia to the backbone story of ATOTS.

What’s moving me about these first two episodes reflects on what I just wrote -- this is no longer a story about Bad Buddy or ATOTS. This is a story about two couples going through their shit. Pat and Pran have ALWAYS been about going through their shit. We went through a A LOT of SHIT with them, including forward flashes after they graduated and seeing how they were faring in their long-distance relationship. 

Remember: we haven’t spent ANY time with Tian and Phupha in their relationship yet, ABSOLUTELY NONE. They smooched once on the hill, we saw them cuddle, and Oishii sent us off. So we’re JUST finding out, NOW, how they’re faring, and we get thrown in a fight.

A fight that’s similar to the kinds of struggles that Pat and Pran have already shown us and are showing us now. Tian wants Phupha to see a slice of HIS life in Bangkok. Tian wants Phupha to yield a little, to stop being so stubborn. 

Pat wants Pran to open up more. Pat KNOWS why Pran keeps everything so close to the chest. Pat is SO USED to being the balancing effect of their relationship, to push forward, to pull back, but to ALWAYS HOLD PRAN DOWN AND REMAIN AS PRAN’S ROCK, because Pran has not had the same kind of large family structure as Pat could rely on in his childhood and doesn’t know how to take emotional risks. Pat knows this and works hard on balancing it out.

But Pat can go overboard, right, and that’s partly why Pran drove away to Pha Pun Dao -- to prove to himself that he could complete this project on his own, but also, flirtingly, knowing that Pat would ultimately be by his side, and to play the competitive games that these guys always play with each other, because they’re still college dudes with bones to pick. 

What we’re seeing is BOTH COUPLES FINDING THEMSELVES IN THEIR MATURING GROWTH STAGES OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. 

Hello, mic check, there’s something happening here in Our Skyy 2. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE ECLIPSE EPISODES?

Same damn thing, the same damn thing that pissed the girlies off before. WE’RE SEEING AWLLLLLL THESE GUYS IN THE GROWTH STAGES OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. Akk was frustrated by all the expressions of care that Ayan is overabundant with. Ayan WANTS Akk to RECEIVE the care, because the RECEPTION OF CARE IS the signal, the trigger, the MEANING of the relationship for Ayan -- it tells Ayan, when I care for you, Akk, I AM SHOWING YOU MY LOVE FOR YOU, and that’s how *I* DEMONSTRATE IT.

Tian: Phupha, come with me to Bangkok.

Pran: Pat, let me do this by myself.

Akk: Ayan, I don’t need as much care as you’re giving me, it’s too much.

Phupha: You’re making only about me being madly in love with you.

Pat: I want to help you, my boyfriend.

Ayan: This is how I show my love for you, Akk. 

Y’all. Aof, Golf, these filmmakers. QUEER RELATIONSHIPS ARE RELATIONSHIPS THAT DESERVE THE INVESTMENT AND RESPECT OF EMOTION AND GROWTH IN ART. Not all queer art/BLs need to be about the thrills and frills of the first kiss, of the first sex, of the first whatever. We’re expecting these guys to live together forever in fiction, right? Aof and Golf and the other homies are saying -- kk, girlies, we’ll give you the fan service, alright, but we’re going to show you HOW WE, AS THE QUEER COMMUNITY, DURING PRIDE, GET THERE IN OUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS, TOO, messy details and all. Shit.

Here’s something from reality. I’m the youngest girl of my Indian family -- I was not equal to my older siblings at all, expected to fail, treated as if I didn’t know how to function in society. Y’all can predict what happened. Your gal got a great career, a great family, a husband, the whole thing.

So when I first met my husband, I’m riding my life on my own -- paying my own rent, my own bills, everything. I had already proved I didn’t need my birth family for anything.

But what I didn’t consider during those first years of the relationship was the following: my future husband’s love language was dependence. He was certainly IMPRESSED by dating a woman who had her shit together. BUT. He WANTED me to DEPEND on him, AT LEAST emotionally, if not for other things. I wasn’t going to like, quit my job for a relationship, but -- I was ALSO having REAL trouble DEPENDING on him emotionally.

Like Pran, maybe. I didn’t trust trusting anyone emotionally, because that was a paradigm already created by my family in my upbringing. I had TRAINED myself to NOT need emotional feedback from ANYONE romantically, because I learned to survive in other ways.

Of course, with great communication AND TIME (TIME), I came around and learned to lean on him and trust him.

Aof and Golf are giving their couples the benefits of growth and time to make the relationships better, and stronger, and working, and functioning, and I can’t emphasize enough how REAL THIS IS. 

That’s what these episodes are giving me. I WANT TO SEE MORE BLs with established relationships (@bengiyo, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY FTW). I want to see contextual heartache. I want to see fights. I want to see tears. I want to see snottiness and shittiness and passive aggression, because all of that is worth examining in human emotional art. 

That’s real, that’s worth reflecting in art, and I see Aof and Golf doing this on purpose to give RESPECT to the emotional structures that they’ve created in their work. 

I’m having so much fucking fun with these episodes, but I should have expected this, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, that Aof would already render me an emotional mess as well. It always happens. That it’s happening to our BELOVED COUPLES, AT THE START OF PRIDE, I’m just like. We’re just so blessed to have this art to enjoy.

[koalatysleep]

Just watched BBC Merlin S2E4 "Gwen and Lancelot" for the first time and despite the episode title, it's clearly about 2 couples and I'm loving it! Can't get enough of the Merthur interactions and Gwen and Lancelot being mirror characters for Merthur.

I have so many fav Merthur moments in this episode:

- how Arthur and Merlin are clearly so in synch with each other about saving gwen despite Arthur publicly 'agreeing' with Uther that servants aren't worth the risks. Merthur's implicit understanding of each other was contrasted nicely with Morgana assuming Arthur was really gonna abandon Gwen to her death & shouting at him about it. In comparison, Arthur and Merlin were both packing for the rescue mission immediately after they left court, which meant they knew what each other wanted to do, without having to talk about it at length. Love how this implies that Arthur takes Merlin into his confidence when he trusts no one else with his plans, and that Merlin knows who Arthur is.

This reminded me of their conversation in S1E13 (the one with the questing beast) when Merlin says his surreptitious goodbye to Arthur - Arthur: "sometimes i wonder if you know who I am", Merlin: "oh I know who you are".

Yes he does! Our boys are not only in love but also understand each other implicitly without words! I'm so happy!

- This implicit understanding & attunement with each other is seen again when Merlin takes 1 look at Arthur and says "oh no, I know that face, I'm not gonna like this am I?" when Arthur suggests they go through the tunnels infested with the giant mole-rats. Arthur then very sweetly tempers his description from "giant" to "baby rats" when he sees Merlin's adorably worried face. Merlin was seriously adorable in that moment and Arthur's desire & instinct to assure Merlin and reduce his worry was equally adorable! Loving this sweet tender side of Arthur!

- Arthur smearing the berries on Merlin's face was of course classic Arthur showing romantic interest in a pigtail-pulling way but also ensuring Merlin is sufficiently covered while sneaking in some physical contact under the guise of horseplay.

- when Merlin intuits Arthur really cares about Gwen after Arthur admitted he couldn't sleep, Merlin says "I've never seen you like this about anyone". Technically, Merlin really hasn't seen Arthur like this, but that's coz Merlin was dying from Nimueh's poisoned chalice at the time. We the audience however have seen Arthur like this, in magnitudes more pronounced than this as a matter of fact, and it was to save Merlin. Wish someone would tell Merlin! Arthur not only went off on that perilous journey to save Merlin alone and without hesitation, he did so knowing he would most likely die. He also directly opposed his father for Merlin, and otherwise risked everything he has ever known for Merlin, a servant who is not just a servant. So yeah, Gwen is a mirror for Merlin in this case, which means Merthur is romantically coded :)

- Arthur opening up to Merlin about his feelings in an UNPRECEDENTED way in the 'confession' scene at the stream after they've escaped the mole-rat tunnels and are washing off the stinky berries. I don't think we've ever seen Arthur as vulnerable and honest with anyone else in his life as he is with Merlin here! The 'confession' is otensibly about Gwen, but the subtly ambiguous way Bradley James played this scene was brilliant! Not to mention the way they've setup the scene also lends itself to the ambiguity.

The scene starts when Merlin finds out that Arthur didnt know whether the berries would actually work, and Arthur was obviously very charmed by Merlin's unadulterated reaction, and even apologizes in a very fond & sincere way to Merlin. If this is not a man in love in with Merlin, I don't know what is.

This scene is also set immediately after a scene where Gwen (Arthur's mirror in this case) tells Lancelot (Merlin's mirror) that she didn't know she could feel this way about somebody, to which Lancelot replies that she has given him a reason to live, much like Arthur didn't know he could feel the way he does about Merlin, a lowly servant boy who seems like a wimp but who he admires and wants to be admired by, is magnetically attracted to, cares about deeply and I'd say is in love with. And similar to Lancelot with Gwen, Merlin found his reason to live in Arthur.

Then Merlin says "well they do say love makes you do strange things" immediately after Arthur apologizes to him fondly, and Arthur's moment of hidden panic ("what are you talking about") resolved into disbelief-tinged-with-relief when Merlin clarified he was talking about gwen and not arthur's uncharacteristic and fond apology to Merlin.

Then we get the truth being pulled out of Arthur -- and this is Merthur subtext and double speak at its best:

Merlin, teasingly: "It's so obvious, a blind man can see it! Is it really that hard to admit that you like her? Just say it!",

as though Merlin's not just asking Arthur about gwen, he's also asking Arthur on the audience's behalf to admit he likes Merlin, which Merlin and audiences like me would love to hear because the Merthur chemistry really is so obvious.

(Interestingly, "it's so obvious a blind man can see it" mirrors what Bradley james said in an interview when asked to choose between romance with Gwen and bromance with Merlin. Bradley chose bromance with Merlin without hesitation, saying bromance with Merlin is "there for everybody to see". It's nice to see the actor supporting the ship when most actors would have just toed the PC line and remained non-committal!)

Arthur, the truth bursting out of him while looking Merlin straight in the eye: "I can't! How can I admit that I think about her all the time, or that I care about her more than anyone? "

Reaction shot of Merlin, smile falling off his face, as though he's realising that this is how he feels about Arthur, and that if this is how Arthur feels about Gwen, it really is serious.

(Meanwhile, we the audience are squeeling because we certainly noticed Arthur cares about Merlin more than anyone else way back in season 1, to the point of wanting to drink from the poisoned chalice for Merlin, and outright defying Uther for Merlin).

Arthur, looking Merlin straight in the eyes at crucial points, while looking away at others as though he still has something to hide from Merlin: "How can I admit that I don't know what I'll do if any harm comes to her?"

(Again, audience is reminded of how Arthur was beside himself in the poisoned chalice episode when harm was about to befall Merlin.)

Merlin, no trace of teasing left in his tone: "Why can't you?", as though he's asking Arthur not just about gwen, but also asking about himself on behalf of the audience, because he and the audience needs to understand why Arthur swings between willing-to-die-for-Merlin-in-action and insulting-Merlin-horribly-in-words.

Arthur, suddenly using the immediate term 'us' instead of the 3rd person 'her': "Because nothing can ever happen between us! To admit my feelings knowing that... hurts too much".

Merlin: "Who's to say nothing can happen?".

Arthur, again not using 'her': "My father won't even let me rescue a servant, do you honestly believe he'll let me marry one?".

I think the Merthur subtext and double speak was clearly signalled by the ambiguous dialogue where Arthur switches to 'us', 'servant' and 'marry one' instead of 'her' at these crucial points.

I think it's 100% legitimate to interpret the scene and whole episode as romantically coded Merthur, even when i'm approaching this just from a film analysis angle.

Merlin then says, surprised: "you want to marry gwen?"

To which Arthur genuinely clarifies: "No! No, i, i don't know."

After a pause, Arthur: "it's all talk, and that's all it can ever be."

I like to think this part of the dialoque is perhaps the writers testing the waters to see how far they can push Merthur from subtext into text, or signalling they are on the fence about Merthur vs Argwen, or even the writers subtly acknowledging merthur but saying it's all talk and that's all it can ever be, but that's just pure speculation on my part. Speculating's fun as long as no one takes it too seriously or get their hopes up ;)

Leaving out speculation about the writer's intentions, the dialogue then retreats from the 4th wall with Merlin saying "when you're king, you can change that", to which arthur says he can't ask gwen to wait that long for him, and then the absolute kicker of this whole dialogue drops like a foreshadowing bombshell with Merlin's reply "if she feels as you do, she'll wait for you".

First of all, Arthur very practically points out "we don't even know if she's still alive" like he's just pointing out an unemotional fact, one that isn't going to devastate him either way, which tells us that while Arthur cares about Gwen and likes her, he's not beside himself with worry or devastation at the thought of her possibly being dead.

Secondly, we find out in this episode itself that Gwen does not in fact feel strongly enough about Arthur to wait for him either, she's in love with Lancelot.

Thirdly and most importantly, we know the series ends with Merlin waiting for Arthur for 1500 years and counting, and isn't that the kicker?? The dialogue "if she feels as you do, she'll wait for you" foreshadows Merlin waiting for Arthur, because he feels as Arthur does! Romantically coded again!  Maybe the writers really did plan out the whole series outline with the end in mind, like they claimed. In any case, this dialogue is a great piece of foreshadowing that works on 3 different levels, while also validating in a very subtle way Arthur and Merlin's feelings for each other is reciprocated and requited, and strong enough to withstand 1500 years of waiting.

One of my favourite Merthur episodes!

- there are of course other moments in this episode where Lancelot as Arthur's mirror asks Gwen (Merlin's mirror) to live on for him or "everything that I am will be for nothing", which foreshadows what Merlin had to do after Arthur's death. Lancelot is also a mirror for Merlin here because everything that Merlin lived for came to nothing when Arthur died.

In this scene, the same music that played when Arthur kissed Gwen for the first time in S2E2 plays again, but the crucial difference here is Gwen is the one who kisses Lancelot, as compared to her just receiving Arthur's kiss. This again tells us her feelings for Lancelot is a lot stronger than her feelings for Arthur.

Gwen as Merlin's mirror also says to Lancelot "as long as I live, my feelings for you will never fade", which foreshadows what poor Merlin feels for Arthur, and since Merlin is immortal, it means his love for Arthur will never fade FOREVER, even after arthur's death (ah gawd my heart breaks for merlin).

- when Lancelot finds out that Gwen did not escape successfully afterall, the evil kidnapper says Lancelot's failure to protect gwen will hurt Lancelot more than he can understand, and man, Lancelot's pain again foreshadows what Merlin will feel when he 'fails' to save Arthur.

- after they've all successfully escaped, Lancelot as Merlin's mirror says "My feelings do not matter. I will not come between them", and you could see in Merlin's face that he's coming to the same decision about his own feelings, that he will not come between Arthur and Gwen, and man I wanna tell my poor sweet self-sacrificing Merlin that oftentimes, you do good in this world simply by pursuing your own happiness and well-being.

Lancelot then says "she has changed me forever, but some things cannot be", just like Arthur has changed Merlin forever and vice versus, but we know their love story cannot be either, at least not in Camelot's time.

And thus ends my meta ramblings for a great episode!!

Loved it!!

[booksandabeer]

Catching up

I got tagged approximately one million years ago by @burberrycanary 💙 and @somanywords 💛. Sorry it took me so long! 😬

Last song: I don't know the exact song, but I've been listening to the album Cat Power Sings Dylan: The 1966 Royal Albert Hall Concert a lot. I'm not a particuarly big fan of Bob Dylan, or a fan at all, really. However, I am absolutely a die-hard fan of Cat Power and I think that Chan Marshall is probably the best cover artist of...all time? Well, certainly of her generation. That's not to shade her original compositions, which I also love, but she's brilliant at taking songs that you thought you could no longer listen to because they've been played ad nauseam everywhere for decades, and then teasing something fresh and original and truly moving out of them. Listen to her covers of "I'll Be Seeing You" or "Mr. Tambourine Man" or even "New York, New York" and tell me they don't excite you in any way (if they don't, I suspect you have no soul). She's even great at covering herself! Please go and listen to her 2008 cover of her own 1998 song "Metal Heart" right now. It's one of my all-time faves and also, yes absolutely a Stucky song.

Relationship status: I have a person.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Everything all at once, please.

Favorite color: Blue, blue, blue. International Klein Blue to be precise. I cannot get enough of it. Also, I will die on the hill that chartreuse is actually a great color.

Last movie: The Last Stop in Yuma County which was a fun neo-western/crime thriller that didn't take itself too seriously and didn't outstay its welcome. Imagine that! A 90-minute movie. They still make those! Wild. If you like Tarantino and/or the Coen Brothers, but played at a faster, snappier tempo, you will probably enjoy this one too.

Last show: So many. Bodkin, which is the epitome of "this show doesn't know what it wants to be." Is it a quirky comedy? A crime show? A (very tepid) satire? It's not like you can't combine these genres, but the show doesn't combine them, it swings wildly between them. The ending was terrible. I've finally started watching Hacks (a delight!) and I'm still slowly making my way through Kings (only 2 episodes left). Also following along with the new season of IWTV, which remains an absolutely bonkers show. If *this* is what made it into the final cut, can you imagine what didn't? Oh, to be allowed to read the studio notes for this one!

Last thing I googled: The origin and meaning of a Norse/Russian name. For reasons.

Current obsession: The Terror brainrot is still going stong. I have learned so much about Arctic Exploration in the 1800s over the past few weeks. Also, in a curious turn of events, I have started reading Masters of the Air fanfic? I was unfortunately pretty disappointed with the show. I had hoped it would trigger a level-11 hyperfixation but instead it just kinda came and went and I didn't even think about it anymore. Then an author, who I still follow because they used to write Stucky, started posting one Buck/Bucky (yes, they are two different characters) fic after another, and one day I said, 'Why not give it a shot?' Well, here we are, tens of thousands of words later, and for the first time in my life I'm beginning to understand the people whose general fandom attitude is 'I don't care for the source material at all, but the fic! Oh the fic compels me!' I have been compelled. I'm now a person who reads fanfiction for a pairing that includes a character played by Austin Butler (sorry Butler heads, I just don't get it).

Wonders never cease.

--

Like I said, I got tagged for this ages ago, so I don't know who's done this (recently). I'm gently tagging @bromcommie, @aimmyarrowshigh, @zenaidamacrouras1, @shackleton2 and @hail-americas-ass. Also, I mean it when I say I want to know what everyone else is watching/eating/obsessing over/etc. Tell me! Open tag for everyone who wants to do this.

[raevenlywrites]

The Magnus Archives, Season 2. This batch starts with the first episode of the season, Ep 41, Too Deep, and continues with 42: Grifters Bone, 43: Section 31, and 44: Tightrope

Too Deep

Yes! A continuation! I appreciate that we're basically starting off with a diary entry from Jon.

-

omg Martin! Placebo ashes, thats so stinking cute!!!

-

Ugh, this is uncomfortably close to Lost Johns Cave. Ick.

-

Okay. So this architect, Snerk (Smirk? Smerl?) is clearly as big a player as Leitner. Also, Im beginning to think that sometimes the Fears work together? So like, the infinite spaces fear was at work with the meat fear in Killing Floor. The lost in the dark married with labyrinths/tunnels here, which granted might be a manmade attempt to mirror caves, I dont know. But Im open to the idea of them working together, and I think theyre doing so to try to break through and cause some kind of apocalypse. Well see, I might be wildly wrong.

-

Supplemental: oh bless you you sweet paranoid thing. Just bc youre paranoid doesnt mean they aren't out to get you

Also, Id thought maybe I hadnt listening to season 2, but the whole "supplemental" bit at the end felt familar. So, were still trodding back over my first listens ground it seems

Grifters Bone

Oh yeah, ive definitely listening to some of s2 before. Im remembering the thing martin hiding being really dumb, like he lied on his resume or something. I get why Jon is sus of him, hes the one who found Gertrudes long missing body. But seriously, hes just a sweet idiot in over his head XD.

Also, from a writer standpoint, the whole "paranoid supplemental notes" thing is a brilliant way to make sure every episode feeds the larger narrative and keeps readers engaged. Well done there

Section 31

Basira!!! This ep shook a lot of memories loose. So, when we were listening to this together, wed do an ep of TMA, then if I needed a break, wed do Rusty Quill Gaming. So so much of who I know these folks to be is tangled up with their RQG chars. Basira is everyones polyamorous spouse bc of this. I will do my best to divorce this fondness from my TMA read (but seriously, i love Basira bc shes willing to fucking HELP and thats everything to me)

Tightrope

*gasp* Gertrude!!! Of course it makes sense, this is the first of the tapes Basira smuggled in. But still, what a treat

I love that this is basically nothing, at least re the big mystery. it would have honestly been sus if it revealed something connected to the hive, or the architect, or anything like that

[prof-ramses]

Helluva Boss The Full Moon Review

So, some episode huh? In all seriousness, I'm glad to say I enjoyed this episode far more than I expected, likely due to the fact that most of the episode isn't about what I expected.

The opening number is among HB's few non-diegetic songs and a really good one, it's packed with good jokes and leads into something we'll get to later.

Bringing back both the cherubs and agents is something I would've likely advised against in a vacuum, but with the way it's done, it feels natural and gives us a lot of great humor. All 5 personalities get a moment to shine in their short interaction and the visuals of the new DHORKS base, with it's captive cryptids and lab grown "battle priests", are very memorable and distinctive.

But easily my favorite thing about the episode is getting a look at the Lust ring through the eyes of an non-exorcist heavenborn. It's one of those ideas that takes full advantage of the setting in the way only my favorite episodes do.

The action scene this time around was incredible and the idea of the rest of IMP stalking Blitz to make sure he didn't ruin their business was both brilliant and hilarious.

Now, what I know you've been waiting for, my thoughts on that ending. I can hardly believe I'm about to say this, but I genuinely don't take issue with anything Stolas does in this episode.... in a vacuum that is, because at this point, his epiphany is too little too late, due to the retconning in The Circus and his awful performance in season 2 up to this point, I can't look past it to focus on his genuine regret, had the retconning not happened, and this scene happened in his first major appearance in season 2, dare I say, it could have salvaged him in my eyes, I wanted to like Stolas, but at this point I just can't. Though the miscommunication in the scene feels a pinch forced but in a way that I can still buy for these characters.

There is one more thing about this scene however, the implications it has for Octavia's character, because it implies that she is going to be a higher priority for Stolas for the rest of the season, which is something I will be keeping a very close eye on.

One last point, given everything that happened in this episode and what little we've seen of Apology Tour, I am slightly concerned that the show will fall into the trap of resolving this plot thread too quickly, but I hope I'm wrong on that.

[kattythingz]

YJ x FMA Pt. 6

Where the fuck did this semblance of plot come from

(Don't take that promise too seriously. I'm literally just winging this au for fun to keep Solaris from frying my brain. Feel free to prompt me or give me ideas tho!! I live for shenanigans and episode rewrites.)

🧡 Pt. 1 💛 Pt. 2 🤍 Pt. 3 🩵 Pt. 4 💙 Pt. 5 🧡

Generally, there were better ways to be woken up than choking on his own heart lodged in his throat. 

Ling had gone to bed a king the other night. Immediately, upon being led to Ling’s room—their room now, by the League’s blessing—Ed had struck him with a familiar barrage of a thousand and one questions about anything and everything he laid brilliant eyes on, poking fingers across every surface, judging every blank space on the wall lacking Ling’s presence; listening, deeply, when Ling had stopped him out of the blue with arms around his waist and words murmured into his neck. 

The following hour had been a blur as Ed was suddenly in borrowed clothes from him and lying across his chest. And Ling hadn’t slept so well in weeks. 

But he’d never known terror like the following morning either.

When his arms were empty—the mattress colder than his blood in a single instant.

He might’ve looked mad sprinting into the kitchen as he had. He might’ve looked the greatest fool to walk the Earth, standing there paralyzed by a single glimpse of sunlight. He might’ve—

Needed a minute.

“Well, shit. If it isn’t the actual emperor of Xing this time.”

Ling’s breathing hadn’t quite steadied yet when he padded his way back to the kitchen, catching in his chest all over again at the teasing grin Ed—Ed, Ed, Ed, real, not a dream—shot him from his helm at the stove.

“Took you long enough, your stupendous majesty,” Ed snickered.

Ling crawled on his heart toward Ed’s side. The grin stole its way onto his face as he said, “You realize that isn’t the diss you want it to be, right? Stupendous means—”

“Who cares what it means? Sounds like stupid, so it’s stupid.”

“That’s not how it works at all,” Ling laughed, and couldn’t help draping himself over Ed’s available side, that had been left suspiciously open for him anyway. True enough, Ed shifted at the clinginess but didn’t brush him off. “The word is even grander in Xingese, you know. You’d be giving me quite the compliment if you ever said that to me in that language.”

“Exactly why I said it in this one. Whatever it is.” Ed dumped an omelet from the pan and onto a plate, and Ling snagged it immediately. Ed rolled his eyes but didn’t stop him. “I don’t suppose you’ve wondered what language this is or how we’re speaking it, lazyass that you are?”

“Can’t say I have.” Ling beamed, lifting his arm from Ed’s middle to bend it on his shoulder instead and eat from the angle. “Well?”

The word came out muffled by food, and Ed pulled a face at him. “Well, you’re disgusting. Sit the fuck down or get your face away from me.”

“Why, Edward—!”

A loud clearing of a throat interrupted Ling, and he turned his head to catch Kaldur as the source, M’gann focusing politely on her food next to him as well.

Ah, right. The children.

“I believe I might be able to answer your question, Ed,” Kaldur said, the image of courtesy. “The language we’re all speaking is English. And Ling did, in fact, express a similar question upon his first arrival.”

“Don’t tell him so soon, Kaldur!” Ling whined, but he was pleased as ever to see the juvenility from Kaldur. “That’s not part of the game.”

“It’s a game now?” Ed snorted. “Sit down, dumbass, seriously.”

Ling had half a mind to put aside his food and say no to that. But now that his insides had found relative stability in Ed’s orbit, his stomach was yawning, so he pressed a quick kiss to Ed’s temple while he was distracted before joining his friends at the island.

Ed squawked at the motion, wiping the spot with an insulting disgust—“What the hell, Ling?!”—and Ling laughed.

“Perhaps you’ve gotten rusty, Ed. You should’ve seen that coming.”

Ed grumbled. “Yeah, yeah, shut up. I’m thinking.”

Ling had noticed that, yes. That was why he’d softened Ed’s intense expression with a kiss first. Though, by the returning pinch of those features, it seemed the effort had been moot.

Ling sobered in his seat. “What are you thinking?”

Ed’s gaze flicked to him, and then Kaldur and M’gann, who followed Ling’s cue and sat up as well. He bit his lip, torn.

“I’m thinking…” he started, with meaningful weight, “the Truth might have something to do with this.”

Ling immediately tensed. “Why do you say?”

Kaldur and M’gann couldn’t possibly begin to understand the sheer danger of that implication, and Ling was sorry to exclude them like this. But Ed’s fingers had gone taut around his arms, anxious beyond his skin, and Ling couldn’t stand that sight either.

“Ed,” Ling repeated, and Ed thankfully looked up. “Why do you say that?”

Ed blew out a breath. Bracing himself before saying, “The runes of that circle. I told you it took me and Teacher a week to figure out together, and that’s because neither of us recognized half the runes on it. The closest match I found for their origin was old. Really old.” He looked at Ling. “Several centuries’ ago Xing, to be exact.”

Ling frowned. “That’s not possible. Xing doesn’t have—”

“I know,” Ed interrupted with a frustrated noise. “That’s why I took so long too. I thought the scroll was bullshitting me, but it wasn’t. The runes on it were a perfect match for the ones on the circle. And that sort of knowledge was just lying around your palace.”

“So you’re saying…”

“This was an inside job.” Ed grimaced. “Guess a few cockroaches slipped you, after all.”

Something coiled in the base of Ling’s ribcage, and he clenched his jaw hard. Ed’s expression thawed with remorse in the corner of his eye.

“Mei and I tried figuring it out ourselves,” Ed said wearily in lieu of an apology, which was good, because Ling wasn’t taking one. This wasn’t Ed’s fault. This, apparently, was his own. “We narrowed it down to the best list we could, but—”

“Ed.”

Ed’s mouth snapped shut, and he cast a wide-eyed look at Ling. Still so prone to carrying Ling’s weight, even when Ling bore his own weight of a crown. 

His smile rose bitterly, but rose nonetheless, for Ed.

“It’s alright,” he said. “That shouldn’t have been you and Mei’s job to begin with, and you couldn’t have tackled it in a short week alone, much less the entire month I was gone. You did your best.”

Ed pushed off the counter, staggering with a burden now. “That’s the thing, though. Our best might not be enough anymore here. Ling, one of those runes translated directly to ‘reality’. Truth in another name. If we’re here at all in any manner thanks to that thing, then who knows what the toll—?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

Ed stopped at the firm assertion. “You don’t know that. I don’t know that yet.” He shook his head, jostling bangs out of place and forcing him to retuck them with an uneasy exhale. “I… I don’t regret chasing you here. Truth knows someone had to get you home, and I’ll be damned if that’s not me. I’m happy to see you again too. But… this is another world, Ling. I don’t know anything here; I don’t even know the symbols on the other circle I came out of. I never got a good look at it thanks to that fucking scientist, and I barely figured out the one back in the palace too—”

“You made it here, didn’t you?” Ling interrupted him, and Ed swallowed a pin. “That means you’ve already figured out half of it.”

“Yeah, but—”

“If I may.” Kaldur’s voice beat Ling to it, and he turned easily to him. Unlike Ed, who whirled like their audience had burned him. 

Kaldur bore the shock well, back straight and expression set. 

“I may not understand the true depth of your positions, but I do understand that, as of now—and however long is within our power—your position is with us. Among friends, and comrades.” He quirked his lips in that empathic lilt of his, sharing the kindness with not only Ed, but M’gann and Ling as well. “Perhaps that will not get you home easier, but worse odds have failed to stop this team. This will not be different.”

He held them all with such obvious confidence, and Ling had never seen a better leader in the making. He thought Ed saw it too, when his eyes flashed as he considered Kaldur and softened at the barest edges.

Ed let out a breath, shaking his head a little. 

“You really shouldn’t talk back to me like that.” He gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Those are some ballsy words to promise.”

Kaldur smiled. “I will take that as a compliment.”

That got another laugh out of Ed, truer that time, and he restored enough hope to finally get to making his own omelet—because of course he’d kept himself for last, and, of course, that was when Ling remembered his own pressing question, finally.

“Speaking of ballsy,” Ling said, eager to lift the atmosphere again. “Ed, how’d the interrogation go yesterday?”

He’d spoken between a mouthful again, and Ed didn’t miss a beat in shooting him an unimpressed look. He understood the words suspiciously well for someone who judged Ling for his eating-and-speaking habits, though.

“The interrogation went fine, you damn glutton,” Ed huffed, certainly for Kaldur and M’gann’s confused sakes, folding the omelet in a blind motion. “Dragged on for way too long and nearly bored me to sleep, but fine. Although, I have some serious questions about whoever’s in charge of designing the clothes around here.”

It took the resident heroes a second to catch on. But when they did, it was M’gann who reacted first, snorting high in her nose. She blushed at the noise, slapping a hand over her mouth in mortification—but Ling had heard it before from Ed. And his heart had only been trained to melt for the sound.

“I am—so sorry,” M’gann said when Ed smiled at her too. “I—I was trying to say that, well, that’s kind of funny, since most heroes design their own costumes…” She looked red-faced down at her lap. “Sorry. Continue.”

“What did I say about apologizing?” Ed said, and shook his head. “Anyway, that explains why they’re letting a guy run around in a bat suit—”

Kaldur choked politely on his juice.

“—as if it’s intimidating. I couldn’t even take him seriously, I swear.”

“No, Batman’s—pretty scary, alright,” M’gann squeaked out, either thinking the same thing as Kaldur or trying not to. Either way, Ling barely masked his laughter at them. “But I guess I can see why you wouldn’t get it. You stood up to him pretty easily yesterday…”

“Oh, that was nothing,” Ed said. He served his own food at last, bringing over his plate to their corner before continuing, “You should meet my alchemy teacher, if you think a guy like that’s scary. Once you’ve pissed off the devil into tossing butcher knives at you blindfolded…” He shivered. “You never look back.”

“I’ll say,” Ling mumbled, failing to contain his own reaction. “How certain are you again that she won’t kill me after she walks you down the aisle, Ed?”

Ed actually had to pause to consider that. He opened his mouth, before closing it.

“Probably—seventy-thirty?” he guessed far too calmly for Ling’s liking. “Teacher has manners too. She’d probably wait until after the ceremony to do anything. I dunno your chances then.”

Ling hated that very, very much.

“Great.” He sank into his seat. So his future wasn’t very long, even if they escaped this world safely. 

He was already lamenting his stolen youth when a new chi entered the periphery of his senses. It wasn’t anyone worth pretending around like the Justice League, so he kept his posture and listened to the other three laugh at him instead.

“Why do you think I bullied that league or whatever into letting us share your room?” Ed said, still laughing, he was so cruel. “I know your future is short.”

“Did you really?” M’gann said, surprised. “Bully the Justice League, I mean?”

By her asking it that way, it didn’t seem like she thought it was too crazy for Ed to do such a thing. Which was an apt conclusion to draw. Even Kaldur only furrowed his brow in curiosity.

Ed snickered, then. “Oh, yeah. Totally. The red-and-blue guy at least—”

“Superman?” Kaldur offered.

“That’s the stupid name!” Ed snapped his fingers. “Yeah, him.”

Ling shifted at the chi abruptly freezing. Ed continued, none-the-wiser, “He seriously pissed me off in the first place, so I didn’t mind making him a little uncomfortable too. Bastard should’ve thought twice before trying me. Maybe he will now.”

“Bastard?” Ling repeated idly—and he already had a feeling where that conversation had gone. But, still, for audiences out of the loop… 

He sat up to lean on his elbow, catching Ed’s eye with the motion. “I don’t suppose there’s a story behind that?”

Ed narrowed his eyes. Suspecting immediately, for sure, but not knowing enough to dismiss him yet. When Ling only smiled back invitingly, he rolled his eyes with a put-upon sigh and tossed Ling the bone. He said, “Not much of a story, so much as an uncomfortable rehash. I thought the guy’s name was familiar, so I asked him if he had any relation to a Superboy too—”

“Oh!” M’gann gasped, sympathy striking her features. “We completely forgot to warn you about that. Superman is—”

“Superboy’s dad, yeah, I got that pretty quickly.” M’gann furrowed her brow when Ed scowled suddenly. “He seemed pretty eager to deny any connection to his own son. I hope Superboy’s had a chance to punch his asshole dad yet. If he hasn’t, he should get one.”

Leave it to Ed to put it so perfectly.

Ling hummed, casting a quick glance to the space past the kitchen and the chi that lingered in it.

Superboy had definitely heard that. 

Good.

Ling pulled his face back to a grin, and judging by the look Ed shot him as soon as his gaze returned, they were having words later.

“That sounds awful, dear!” Ling said cheerily, and Ed’s scowl deepened with further suspicion. “I can’t imagine how you responded to that.”

“You know exactly how I responded, asshole!”

“I’m almost certain I don’t, actually.”

Ed’s eyebrows twitched.

“I fucking hate you.”

Kaldur and M’gann shared extremely confused looks when Ling beamed in response.

“Now, that I know!”

<- prev ◆ next ->

[dangermousie]

Farscape Rewatch: Self-Inflicted Wounds, 2x03 and 2x04

First off, these are some of the best titles. So Good!

Farscape summed up.

Or perhaps this is:

(Though perhaps this one is more applicable to the next episode, Different Destinations, which to me is the bleakest Farscape episode ever.)

SIW is a two-parter I don't like as much as I should, all things considered. Maybe it's too much technobabble, or a bit of an odd pacing (it should have been a one-and-a-half parter, if there is such a thing, not a two parter). This said, Zhaaaaaaaaaaan. *wails* It makes sense from story point (nothing is for free, life for a life) and from behind the scenes point as poor Virginia Hey was getting ill from the make-up, but still...wail! Non-Zhaan stuff out of the way first: I get totally annoyed with the crew in this one when they blame Crichton for what happened. Zhaan gets a pass because she is dying, but I want to smack the rest of them silly. How is this Crichton's fault? How? It's just the Moyans' rotten luck. Pilot was the one who stopped the ship when they saw a wormhole, and they were there for a millisecond only before the pathfinders' ship crashed into them. They wouldn't have time to get out of the way regardless of anything, even Pilot stopping. And yeah, he trusted the aliens. But hey, even without wormholes, John is often too trusting, this is about the last spark of it. And considered abandoning ship but so did they all! But any 'selfishness' is certainly traumatized out of him with this. But then the crew doesn't really believe it's Crichton's fault: if they did, his throat would be ripped out. It's just a convenient target for frustrations. And hello, Crichton? Would take it and ask for more. So this ep ends with Crichton enjoying his favorite game: guilt and self-blame for something not really his fault.  Oh yes. But come on guys, just because he is there and available, doesn't mean you should do it! If you think about it, they subconsciously know, I think, that they can do it to him. Can you imagine the uselessness or the harm if they tried doing a genuinely blame session to D'Argo or Aeryn or Rygel? But Crichton likes to inflict blame and punishment on himself.

Harvey! Beginning of such brilliant, brilliant Harvey scenes! And I loved the brief guy-to-guy discussion between D'Argo and John: what if you try your best and it's not enough? That is something everyone on board Moya is familiar with. And John and Aeryn? Work so in unison. Heck, Aeryn is beginning to develop her own unworthiness issues as her convo with Zhaan shows. (I love the bit where Zhaan highlights similarities between them. She forgot to add 'we love insane men' to the list though). And there was this epic exchange:

That’s the thing that I always forget watching early S1 Crichton, his eyes open in wonder: it took a certain kind of person to get himself in the position to get into a wormhole even if unknowingly. He might be gentle and sweet and scientific when the thing starts, but it takes a certain kind of insanity and reckless bravery to go up in space flying basically an assmbled kit plane that you devised by yourself to test a completely random theory! Much more insane and risk-taking than his Dad who after all followed proper established procedures devised by others when he went. And then there is the scientific crazy curiosity that got him up there in the first, proving that he can be obsessive enough to not care about risk when he is really into it. Jool? God, I'd forgotten how irritating she was when she first joined. I ended up liking her by the end, but seriously, I want to strangle her. Crichton is being amazingly patient with her even when she tries to off him (probably out of obligation/guilt) but argh. I love Chiana's smackdown of her. And Zhaan's. But I like her around because I love seeing nasty things happen to her. Some relief from the darkness of S3: bad things happening to someone you actually don't like. Also, because of her we get exchanges like this:

Despite my snark about her, I confess I like Jool, and she does grow up. Mainly, I think, I am always a bit sympathetic to her even from the start, because I know that if I ended up in an unknown part of the world with lunatics, I'd be a lot more likely to be whiny like Jool and not awesome like John. Talk about a vacation gone wrong!

Chiana is wonderful too: so young, so brave, so scared. Yet so unwilling to abandon Moya. Crying to Zhaan about it. What a difference from season 1, when she was all for getting off at the least sign of trouble and Moya be damned. But they do have a bond, don't they? And I love that despite the implosion of that romance, D’Argo still cares for her, there is no cruelty or gloating in him. This is real and complex.

Other things? I love Stark in these eps. From his subtle manipulation of Rygel (by telling him Pilot likes him) from his snarking (when Rygel says he didn't vote for staying or leaving Moya. Rygel makes me want to choke him in these eps) that yeah, Rygel voted because 'I was your proxy.' Heh. And the bit with Jool, when the snitty bitch is having her little hissy fit and he flips on her because they are all dead, and his love is dead. And he tells her he will show her something that will make her weep forever. Stark can be scary! Oh, and the bits with Zhaan, from his seeing her look at her ravaged face in the mirror, and he is silent behind the door, and crying. 

To her trying to prepare him and his refusal. To the end, when he runs around like a trapped animal trying to get to her. 

To when he helps her cross-over. Ohhhh, my lovely secondary ship. 

I love the bit at the end when Aeryn wants to know why he isn't flipping and he is, in a contained way, and tells her it's because Zhaan was so at peace (and of course, death is what he knows best). But of course, his 'dealing' is temporary and comes and goes, as he admits to her (and see him crazed in DD). Zhaan and Stark are very yin-yang because in SIW he tells her he has a darkness which frightens lovers away but he is amazingly good despite it, and she is, after all, the good peaceful spiritual being who is, at the same time, had serious darkness and overcame madness. They are more similar than it appears at first glance.

I love Zhaan in this ep so much. She is scared yet brave, determined yet frail. And her farewell is lovely. I love how she hits exactly the hidden thing in each of her crewmates (D'Argo's sensitivity, John's innocence). And of course, the ep ends with John and Harvey, dressed in funeral attire. And even Harvey blames John! WTF!!!!!! (But Harvey is, after all, Scorpius blended with John so it’s really John blaming himself.)  And ends with John throwing his bottle at the screen, shattering it.

What a bleak ending. And that blame and self-blame are not fair. John is NOT selfish. He has a few things he would give anything for (AERYN. AERYN. AERYN) but that is true for anyone who is not a saint. Moyans have certainly done a lot of unforgivable things when their wishes were strong. Remember D'Argo, Zhaan and Rygel hacking off Pilot's arm for a chance at the map? Remember Chi and her stealing and thus unleashing the virus that leads to the Gammack Base and everything else etc? (Aeryn is rather exempt because she's been brought up to not want anything). Remember Moya's irrationality about Talyn? Their desires lead to anything from sheer irresponsibility and catastrophes because of recklessness to predetermined badness. John is obsessed with going home and wormholes (though even now, I think he is too damaged for Earth already, and not as much obsessed with them as with Aeryn). But I am sorry, comparing him with the actions above? Are you kidding? Considering giving up the ship that is dying but ultimately not? Wanting to check out wormholes for a second but not even having a chance to before the collision? (It's not like they were parked there for an hour and that's how they got hit). Seriously, the guy has enough self-loathing. He does not need any more. Lay off, the guy is already broken. But how realistic and human all that blame and self-blame are. Next? Different Destinations, and then Eat Me and the joy of two Crichtons: double your character, double your pain. This season is unrelentingly bleak.

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

The Gilded Age, 02x07, Wonders never Cease. My thoughts

This episode was a fucking roller-coaster of a ride! One moment I'm crying then next I'm happy for someone, next I'm completely suspicious of one certain rich mrs. pain in ass.

First to everyone that was on to Muade Beaten right off the bat y'all get million brilliant points and I completely apologize for ever doubting any of you. Omg y'all were so right!! I truly didn't believe she was part of the scam. She freakin good! Give her award for that shit. At the same time I'm sad because I wanted her to be on the up and up. I really liked her, especially with Oscar. They made a cute couple. Omg poor Oscar, I just wanted to hug him when he started crying at John's place and I started crying for Oscar. Then when he tells Aunt Agnes how much money he lose, I started crying for all of them. Because I thought he had just used his individual money for the investment not his mother's money also. That's when I was oh no no no Oscar!! This has to be ok somehow, it just has too.

Then if that wasn't hard enough they have Luke pass away. I was just sobbing when Aunt Ada woke up he was gone. It's just awful that they were together for such a short time. Aunt Ada deserves so much more than just a taste of happily married bliss. My heart just brakes for her. At the same time I am glad she got to be loved like that and love someone in that way.

I did love what Aunt Agnes said to Luke when they were alone. It was also wonderful getting to see that side of her, Aunt Agnes truly loves and cares for her family. Even though she has this tough outer exterior, once you get pass that she's quite loving and she a softness about her. I like how she take her role as head of her family, all her family seriously. Aunt Agnes will always be the strength, the backbone, the true North for them. No matter if it takes kicking their ass or loving them like mad but most likely both she will be there doing it. Aunt Agnes over this season especially has become another of my favorite characters.

Ok once again not enough Bertha in the episode! I think we got spoiled last season because the show kinda revolved around Bertha and the Russell's. But this season their expending the other characters story lines more so we're getting less of what I want the most Bertha. Maybe they could made TGA two hours long episodes. I totally watch them!!

But onto what we did get. First fucking Mrs. Astor, suddenly all oh I got you box at the Academy of music. Yea like Bertha wasn't gonna be what this bitch up to. Mrs. Astor overly nice, her voice dripping with enough sugar put Bertha into glucose shock. Mrs. Astor should work on her fake nice act it's really transparent to anyone that can smell bullshit at 1000 feet. Then the stunt she pulled at Aurora's just made her look stupid not Bertha. But I so did love Bertha's crystal clear No, than she's all look bitch I never told you for sure I was doing that. Why are bringing up now, don't look so smug you haven't won anything. I'm not about to be your lackey. Mrs. Astor getting all huffy and leaveing she's just so pathetic omg. Mrs. Astor really thought she got the better hand of Bertha Russell with her stealing the Duke not with standing. But she simply can't Bertha far more intelligent, cunning, calculated and purely ruthless then Mrs. Astor. On flip side of that Bertha is also friendly, sweet, fun, kind and sincere. Where Mrs. Astor full of crap there's nothing sincere about her, she's all fake nice and attitude. I think she far to use to people kissing her ass and getting her way. We all know Bertha isn't going to do that. I'm so ready to see what happens at the opening night at both opera houses!!

I'm so happy for Jake! Mr. Bannister all casual oh I write my friend in German clock makers group for you. I really do like how there like a little family at the Van Rhijn house (with the exception of Armstrong). I really hope Jake gets his pattern, then goes on to be a clock maker if that's what he wants.

I don't have any idea why Marian is trying to convince herself to marry Dashiell. She's not in love with him, what she going to do wait until she's actually married to the man than be like I made mistake here. I wish she could be as brave for herself as she for everyone else. It's like this all she think she deserves is a loveless marriage at least on her side so she'll doom herself to it. Instead of being brave and looking for what deserves a love like Aunt Ada found. Which might be with one Larry Russell.

I adored the scene with Bertha and George. It's always a treat getting to see Bertha with her hair down all related in her night clothes. I really love that show has a in love married couple at core of it. It's not too much or too little, it's just right as Goldie Locks would say. They have reached the ideal balance for a loving marriage couple in a series, now all other series take note please. They are very endearing. When Bertha sat on George's lap such a romantic thing to do. I really do enjoy their scene together. Ever if their just talking. 😍

I was hoping George would end up being a good guy with his workers, treat them as human beings but so far he's still being ruthless ass. It's so hard with him, when he's with Bertha and his children I really like him, but as soon as he's all business I can't stand him. It drives me nuts.

I'm so happy to see Peggy stand her ground. But I do wonder how long that's going to go on for? Her boss doesn't even seem to give a second thought about his wife or family, just going to listen to his dick. Because let's be honest that's what he's doing. I just don't like him there's something about him the rubs me the wrong way, beyond the I'm so easily willing to cheat on my wife. I definitely feel he's done this before. Peggy might want to find out how many other babies he has around! I just get this feeling off him it's more like he wants to own Peggy untilhe gets bored then he moves on to the the next woman. I hope a really good guy comes into Peggy's life that's not married and sweeps her off her feet.

I really like what Larry did with his speech making sure that at least people in that room which did include the President know that Mrs. Roebling did the work on Brooklyn Bridge. I hope she knew that she wasn't forgotten in history. I learned about her college in my women in America history course. Now thanks to The Gilded Age so many more know her incredible story and she's come back to life in a way that makes the history even more exciting.

Oh I almost... I love when Mr. Baudin ask Mrs. Bruce if she going to watch the fireworks. I was omg the roof of the house! Because that house has to tall enough. I was happy I was correct. I thought I was so sweet he took up there so she could see them. I really like them together. I hope they become a couple. Makes me think of Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson in a way.

[1jemmagirl22]

Okay so I've been really busy for months and I'm finally gonna like post the two dozen tumblr posts about the obsessions I've been in since fucking May, seriously they are all saved in my drafts and in need of editing, but damn it if I'm not gonna comment on the Gilded Age first. Should I be back logging from SAB to Percabeth to Game of Thrones to Nancy Drew to ER before I do this? Most definitely? Will I be doing that? Of fucking course not so sit the fuck down mutuals I'm about to unload about the bloody fucking Gilded Age.

So I adore The Gilded Age in like this really twisted way, but damn is it good. So when I started season 2 and found myself, dare I say board, I was a bit scared what one of my friends said about the premiere would be accurate, bot was I wrong, no no, it was boardroom, it was annoyance so let's discuss the pros and cons of the Gilded Age season 2 episode 1 as well as what I hope to see in the coming episodes and what I absolutely love and want most about this show.

Okay cons first cause those are easier. The opening is boring. There is a substantive lack of Larry Russel in the episode. And worst of all, it's not, what's the word, a good opener. Ya that's the word. the first half hour is boring and the second half brilliant. It's suffering a bit from what I'd like to call second season syndrome, some shows produce a season 2 opener even better than it's premiere episode (The West Wing, Agents of Shield, Game of Thrones, Grey's Anatomy, and many more), others, however, don't, and Gilded Age did not, at least at first. The slow opening, mainly the whole undetermined time jump thing, really doesn't help with that either.

Now with that out of the way, the pros! Okay so, let's see Marian, Oscar, Larry, Gladys, and Mrs. Russel were all in top form. The acting as always was impeccable! The ending was *chefs kiss* dramatic perfection. And of course the costumes and the sets, oh perfection. But most of all, my favorite pro from season 2 episode 1 was the characters and the ships!

Okay so let's list shall we.

I'm gonna start with Oscar. Love how he's got like an actually arc this season, we given him some development, we're given him some social shift, oh it's gonna be brilliant! I love him and Gladys, I love him and his romantic friend who I';m sure was named at some point but I've forgotten cause it's been a while since I watched season 1. I love all of it! I'm so excited to see the chaos develop as the season progresses.

Next up, the Irish maid the the American footmen (I know they have names but It's too late to dig out the imdb and I don't remember their names) They were adorably angsty in season 1 and now they keep being adorable and angsty. All I have to say is please of fucking please Julian Fellows don't you Fucking dare pull a Daisy and William on them. Okay? Okay?

It would be a crime to not also mention Mr. and Mrs. Russel, the power couple goals those two give off are so amazing! Honestly worshipable.

And last but not least the only ship not present in this first episode, and annoyingly the ship I adore most, Larry and Marian! Gods I adored the so obvious chemistry friends to lovers vibes they had going for them in season 1, and Fitzsimmons I feel I'm gonna be neglected some of those vibes this season. I desperately hope Larry returns from Rhode Island soon, and even more so interact with Miriam, look I know the trailers say he's gonna have an affair but I'll be dammed if that stops me shipping their chemistry (Should I list the ships I've shopped who weren't together and actually with other people for long stretches of time in the last month alone? I'll do it anyway. Nancy and Ace, Carol and Doug, Magnum and Higgens like three separate Grey's Anatomy ships, Beth and Benny, like probably something else too it's been a busy month). Anyways I'm so excited to see more of them, fingers crossed for episode 2. Anywho hope everyone has a lovely day while I sink into another ship relapse *looks at Paramount+* ooo, I should relapse in 5-0!