#like seriously I realize the animation is not super quick so it really takes few sec to send it

[miyakuli]

Being booped already gives me the smile so much >v< But when I get a super boop I am like super grateful

Because it's longer to give one since you have to wait a bit for it to work

That means someone took on their own time to send it to me

Thank you (;;) <3

[ijwrsmff]

MC showing the brothers their favorite anime character and they are exactly like them! How do they feel? Do they bring it up? Or not say anything? (If you don’t want to do all 7, could you do Lucifer, Levi, Asmo, and Beel? :3)

This was so fun XD I had to write for all 7, simply because I wanted to. And I had a pretty good idea for all of them, so it wasn't too much at all to let the idea take me away ^~^

Ended up being pretty long, but I put it in headcanon format, even though a lot of bullets were several sentences. I tried.

@ibby-miyoshi-nerd

Word Count: 1,677

Lucifer:

“He’s so cool! He’s the oldest brother, and he has a lot of weight on his shoulders, and even though he’s sweet on the inside he acts really tough! And rightfully so, he is actually really tough.” You rambled to Lucifer about your favorite anime character. 

“So…he’s like…” Lucifer wanted to say “Like me” but that would mean admitting he was soft on the inside. He wouldn’t dare say that, especially since some of his brothers were home. “A responsible big brother.” 

As you went on and on about the character, he simply smiled softly and nodded to show he was listening

You were warming his heart, in a way that hadn’t been done for centuries…maybe even ever

He asked a couple questions, here and there, but he really did just love to hear you talk

“So what do you think about him?” You asked with beaming eyes

Lucifer hesitated a few moments while he gathered the words, “He seems like a smart man. Brave, and powerful.” 

“Yeah…he is.” Your words were quiet as you gazed into Lucifer’s eyes

You know…your character and Lucifer were pretty similar, huh?

Mammon:

“Mammon! Pleeeeeease let me tell you about this character!” You whined and followed him as he was practically running away from you

His face was red, because you’re puppy eyes were was too cute to look into for long

But after a few minutes he stopped and you bumped into him “Fine! Just make it quick, I’ve got a date with Goldie!” He waved the card in the air, and had a mischievous look in his eyes

“Okay so! He loves money, but he loves his family and the person he loves even more! He won’t say it, but he’s one of the kindest men in the world! He does kind of get caught up in himself, but he can be humble when the time comes!” You showed him the picture of the character as you spoke, and scrolled through a few

Huh…blond hair, somewhat tall, got a glimmer in his eyes…

“He seems okay. Kind of stupid though.” Mammon did not at all put the pieces together, and ended up unintentionally slamming himself

To anyone else, it was clear you were actually talking about Mammon, and you hoped he’d realize but he didn’t

It’s alright though! Next time you’ll make it absolutely obvious

Levi:

All you had to do to spend time with Levi was say “I wanna talk about anime characters!” Your secret password didn’t even matter, the door was swung open and there he was with a dorky grin on his face

He expected nerdiness, but not to have you describe your favorite anime character to be so much like HIM!

“He loves anime and manga, games too! He doesn’t talk to many people, but sometimes he talks a whole lot if he’s passionate about something! Especially to the few he does care about. He has a TON of special interests, and can be super creative!” 

With each passing word his face got just a bit redder. He had a small scowl on his face after a bit though. To hear you talk so much about someone else kind of bothered him, and he still wasn’t sure if you were even talking about him or not anymore!

“Me or him…” He muttered, but you could barely hear him so he repeated it once more

“Well you, of course!” You laughed and he tried to figure out if your laughter meant you were joking or not

“No seriously, no anime character compares to you. I thought…you’d find it cute if I even liked a character just like you.” With a smile, that made him officially melt

“Then…I’LL COSPLAY HIM! THAT’S IT!” He ran to his closet and started talking about the way to “win them over” was to combine the two

He’s such a silly demon, and you loved that about him

Satan:

He never openly complained about spending time with you, and you came up with a plan! So you went to his library to set the plan in motion…

“Saaaaatan! I have a character from one of my favorite anime I wanna show you!” You burst in, and he was reading as…was expected.

He closed his book after finishing the paragraph he was on, with a bookmark in place

“Oh? Another character, go ahead, tell me about them” He would always make time for you, and seeing you so excited was just adorable

“He can get angry a lot, but it’s usually only because he cares! He’s really creative, and gets lost in his books all the time. It’s kind of like an escape for him, and learning has always been a passion for him!” 

It made Satan smirk, as he said “If you liked me you could have just said so.” He walked towards you and his smirk turned into a smile

“No need to beat around the bush, you know why?” He was close to you now, and for a second you thought he was leaning in for a kiss, but he leaned so his hot break brushed against your ear

“Because I like you too. My favorite little human…” 

Asmo:

When you walked in, super excited to see him he finished his makeup quickly and ran up to hug you

It made you blush, but you had a plan! 

“Asmo! Look at this character! He’s my favorite! He always wears pink, loves to dress up and look all around both handsome and beautiful! He can be a bit of a flirt, but nothing like how he is with the person he loves!”

The more you spoke the more he smiled, “You have excellent taste! I can see why I’m your favorite demon!” He spun you around for a second and kissed your cheeks forehead and nose

You were blushing more than before, “Okay, okay!” You laughed and “tried” to push him away, “Don’t let it get to your head!” His kisses didn’t cease for several minutes and he ended up setting you down in his makeup chair

“We should have matching makeup! It’ll show how cute we are together!” He kissed your red cheeks and smiled wide

“T-together? Really?” It was hard to contain your excitement, and he ended up laughing at just how cute you are

“Of course! I’m your favorite, it means you looooove me~! If you think after rambling about how much you like a character because he’s like me we wouldn’t get together you’d be wrong~!” He giggled and started working on your makeup, but it was hard since you kept giggling

“I don’t know about LOVE, but we can get there. Just don’t mess it up!” You joked, letting out a few giggles as you winked at him

Beel:

“Beel! Look at my favorite anime character!” You ran up to him as he worked out, which was funny timing, “He loves to work out, can eat more than anyone else, and can be really funny but also adorable! He loves his family a lot, and ends up sacrificing so much to make them happy!” 

He stopped the second you were in the room and walked up to you to look at the picture

“He’s like me…” He tilted his head and saw a ton of similarities in the characters personality and looks to him

“Y-Yeah! Isn’t he cool?” He wasn’t putting the pieces together yet, but you knew he’d get there with time

“Wanna help me with my workout?” He smiled and it made you smile too

You had a big soft spot for the tall demon, if he asked you to do anything in the world you probably would, and he’s showed on multiple occasions that he’d do the same for you

You sat on his back while he did push ups for a while, but then he fell

“B-Beel? Are you okay?” You were concerned and he spun around while lifting you while you laid on his chest, faces super close together

“Does that mean…I’m your favorite character? Uh…demon? …Person?” He was fumbling and it was really cute, honestly

A couple giggles escaped and you kissed the tip of his nose, “Yeah…you are.” 

With a hug as tight but gentle as he gave, it gave you all the answer you needed. He liked you just as much if not more, as shown by the deepening blush on his face

Belphie:

“Belphie look!” You showed him a picture of a character sleeping, “He’s my favorite! He sleeps a lot, and can be a hopeless flirt but it’s sooooo cute! He cares a lot, but has a secret dark side which can be really cool but also scary if it’s directed at you!” 

He was hanging out in his star-gazing room, and looked like he’d fall asleep at any minute

He grinned and grabbed you, pulling you down to his level while he laid on the floor and hugged you close

You blushed a bit, but it wouldn’t be the first time you cuddled with Belphie, since both of you did really like to cuddle. Especially with each other…

“Go on, tell me more.” You were facing each other, one hand holding yours as the other wrapped around your shoulders to your back

You rambled for a bit, but had a hard time making eye contact with him

“No. No more.” You told him, and because you were flustered, you leaned forward and hid your face in his neck

“Awww please? I want to fall asleep hearing all the things you love about me, that you’re projecting onto that character.” So he DID know. Maybe you were being too obvious…

After several moments, he continued with a “Fine, maybe we’ll do the opposite. I’ll tell you all the things I love about you until you fall asleep.” He rubbed your back and chuckled to himself before he did exactly that, saying each and every thing about you he loved, which was more than you thought possible

Falling asleep like this…really isn’t so bad at all

[hidingoutbackstage]

Been thinkin’ about them lately. If you’d like would you talk some more about you’re lovely pirates? :)

Okay sorry I meant to answer this sooner but first of all thank you! I’ma be real I haven’t been thinking about my pirates that much lately but I’ll always love an excuse to talk about them lol

There’s like. A million things I could talk about here but since I haven’t gone too much into it, I’ll go over the basic plot and some details of it I really like

If Clashing Swords were a thing, it’d be an animated tv series. I know animation for adults is becoming more rare as a medium for things that aren’t cheap “wow look at these animated characters saying fuck” or Family Guy clones, but I just think it’d be the simplest medium especially considering some of the gore and brutality that happens. Pirate stories are very visual after all

In terms of the story’s length, I see about four major arcs unfolding, and thus there’s be about four seasons, one for each arc culminating in that season’s finale. The season one arc shows what Cassiopeia and Lorelei’s rivalry looks like without their fathers, and some of their struggles as the new captains of their crews in their fathers’ absences. It culminates in a season one finale where another pirate, Reaper, (dw I’ll talk about villains later in this post) cements himself as a threat to both of them, and Lorelei realizes that Cassiopeia takes their rivalry more seriously than she does. Cassiopeia doesn’t want to continue butting heads because it’s tradition, she’s actively trying to murder Lorelei for the death of her father. Season one’s arc is Lorelei basically trying to come up with ways to convince Cassiopeia of her perspective, as well as both women dealing with other various pirate threats. Season two’s finale is a battle between the two women’s crews and a new threat, Dead Bones, who ends up destroying Cassiopeia’s ship, forcing her to make a quick begrudging alliance with Lorelei to allow their crews to merge so they don’t, y’know, die. Season three is the crews trying to get along in this shaky new alliance, everyone learning to get along with some (Cassiopeia) more begrudging than others, and other pirates including this season’s prominent villain, Goldfang. Season three it has more of a softer finale of Cassiopeia deciding to officially pledge herself to Lorelei’s crew, cementing them as permanent allies (there’s something metaphorical here I’ll talk about later). Season four is the two crews, now one, working together while Cassiopeia and Lorelei kinda fall in love because come on gay pirates are awesome. The series finale ends with a huge fight against Dead Bones that they ofc win, Lorelei and Cassiopeia are officially in love, and the very ending is a denouement years later of where the prominent pirates from the crew are now, Lorelei and Cassiopeia ofc being legendary pirate wives because I love them

Okay themes next: this is a very jewish story, at least it’s meant to be. Clashing Swords takes place in a fantasy world but still has some elements from our real world like certain countries and religions and all that. So like, Judaism exists, as do nations such as the Philippines and Hawaii (because I like islands in pirate fantasies) but this is very much not our Earth since there’s magic and mermaids and undead pirates and all of that. Anyway, like I said, it’s jewish. Cassiopeia’s arc in season three of her deciding to join Lorelei’s crew is kind of a convert story. Lorelei and her first mate, Skull Sword, as well as a few other crew members such as Yitzhak and Braveheart are jewish. It’s not super prominent, but Cassiopeia’s announcement of her decision to join Lorelei’s crew comes the day after witnessing a small service for Shabbat on board, something she observes that clearly softens her to them. She also at first asks permission to join from Skull Sword, saying “Where you sail, I will sail; where you dock, I will dock; your crew shall be my crew, and your captain my captain” which is an homage to the story of Ruth, the first (and only) jewish conversion in the Torah. The story itself also has themes of overcoming adversity and the struggle between the modern and tradition, as well as being outsiders picked upon by a larger society, which are all kinda jewish themes in my jewish opinion. I like having jews in my stories what can I say

Okay villains. There’s 3 big/main ones that I’ve come up with so far that I already mentioned, and some smaller ones who simply pose threats for that episode and not too much more. Reaper is a pirate who had a feud with Crooked and Jagged (Cassiopeia and Lorelei’s fathers respectively) and attempted to assassinate both of their wives, so when they’re dead he decides to go after their daughters. Reaper has a crew that’s large and loyal, but most of the time he comes after the women solo, since y’know, personal beef has to be taken care of personally and all that. Reaper is eventually killed by Cassiopeia, when Reaper is trying to kill Lorelei, saving her life because, at this point, she thinks she’s the person who deserves to kill Lorelei. Reaper is the first “major” threat the women deal with, although plenty ghosts of their shitty fathers’ shitty pasts as shitty pirates decide to try their hand at getting revenge on two men who are already dead by murdering their daughters. Goldfang is the second big antagonist, although he doesn’t appear so at first. He just appears to be stalking them, and the women find out he’s a former member of the crew Jagged and Crooked were ok in their younger years because of course the two men’s rivalry is one of those “we were former friends before we were torn apart and became sworn enemies” origins. Lorelei confronts him, and he reveals that the incident that tore Crooked and Jagged apart decades ago wasn’t what it seemed, and he was responsible for it, meaning all the death and pain and destruction that came from the rivalry was because of Goldfang. He has no remorse and blames Crooked’s and Jagged’s actions, and tl;dr Lorelei and Cassiopeia execute him out of anger, swearing not to tell anyone about the revelation. The final villain is Dead Bones, a pirate who’s slowly rising to notoriety and power. His shtick is that he’s dead, he killed himself to gain immortality and power from a “witch” he kidnapped, and thus essentially cannot be killed (well he can cuz magic always has one weakness but y’know) and he seeks to take down Lorelei and Cassiopeia to increase his notoriety as a pirate. He’s a despicable person, he threatens that everyone he kills becomes part of his undead crew, so y’know, lots of legend and fear around that guy, obviously a big threat. There are other small villains throughout who pose threats for specific episodes, and also the whole Crooked and Jagged are villainous in of themselves in how they were as people, how they treated their daughters, and the legacies they left behind for their daughters to deal with in their deaths, but those three are the main ones.

Oh and here’s a little thing, if you’re wondering why literally everyone in this universe has a cool pirate name except for Lorelei and Cassiopeia who just have like regular ass names, it’s because pirates are typically given their pirate names by their captain, and Crooked and Jagged both held it over their daughters’ heads that they would get a pirate name if they “earned” it aka proved themselves to them. And ofc they died before either woman got to do that, so thus they still have the names they were born with

Also if you’re wondering why the two women become captain after their fathers pass, it’s because their fathers made them their first mates, and if the captain dies, the first mate takes over. And if you’re wondering why two dudes who suck and are kinda misogynistic (one more than the other) made their daughters the first mates, it’s simple: Jagged’s wife was his first mate, but when she died, he gave his daughter that role to fill her place. When Crooked learned that his enemy made his daughter his first mate, he did the same, instilling Cassiopeia in that role, since the two captain’s rivalry extends to their children being rivals. This hierarchy stayed in place until it was interrupted by Crooked’s and Jagged’s deaths, upon which the two women realize they were taught in detail how to be a first mate, but never how to be captain.

[masterhandss]

Personally I don't see what you see in Geordo. He seems like such a scumbag to me and is the least likable charater in the whole series. He is always trying to get her alone to push her into things of a sexual/ more romantic nature without taking how she really feels into consideration. Like he "really wants her" and thats enough for him without caring what she really wants. Honestly he is the borderline non-con villian in my mind.

I mean, it's okay if you feel like that. To each their own.

Hmmm when I think about Geordo being sexually aggressive towards Katarina, I only really just think of the anime. The manga is a much more moe-fied and toned down version of the novels, and the novels does an okay job at balancing his desires for Katarina in all aspects. I'm not saying he doesn't have that trait in the other two mediums, I just think that they aren't as intense as the anime, so as someone who consumes all three versions I just tilt my head and go "huh." Of course I'm sure there are people who read the manga and novels that still feel uncomfortable about his behavior and that's valid too.

-> light novel spoilers ahead <-

tldr, there is a lot more going on to him than just someone who offers sweet words and questionable invitations to Katarina's ears, this may not be noticeable or acceptable to some people but we get to know more about how he thinks whenever the novels puts us in his point of view. You're free to dislike him as much as you want, but I like him & don't see him as a scumbag; and here's why:

I at least find it okay that Geordo is very serious about his pursuits for her because he is aware that she is dense and will not get it until you spell it in the sky. Everyone is just walking eggshells around Katarina hoping that the girl would just develop feelings for one of them to win the harem olympics. He knows that being dealt with a good card isn't enough, so he's actively taking action in order to win her heart. I mean I don't always agree with his methods either, like the "fait accompli" line or constantly inviting her to his room alone, but really, how much of that is something he really means to do vs how much of that is his excessive flirting + our minds assuming that he really means to claim her in that way?

Lines like that are really popular with japanese fans because it makes Geordo look "sexy" and "forward", which they enjoy in their fictional stories. He knows that his position gives him an advantage so he'll try to play his cards right and use it to increase his chances in victory.

It actually reminds me of a scene from the Hamefura StoryMe game, (don't really know how canon it is but I remember the JP ver. was advertised by @/hamhura) where Geordo indirectly asked Katarina how to woo a girl he really likes, and Katarina thinking he was referring to Maria, gives all the things he usually does in order to win her heart (visit her home, give her gift, dance with her in parties, be really forward about your feelings etc). I'm not saying Katarina approves of the ways Geordo attempts to win her heart, but there's some hilarity in knowing that Geordo already had and is constantly trying all the known ways to win over a girl in the world from a young age, and still has nothing to show for it. Like no awareness, much less any *feelings* lmao. So trying to make it obvious that he is interested in her romantically and sexually seems like the next logical step to him. I mean if you go by Geordo's logic and considering the time period this takes place in, he's pretty confident that he can get Katarina to love him back and they are engaged anyways so in his head he's in safe waters to attempt to make teases about such advancements if it gives him the smallest chance that Katarina would become at least aware of him through it.

Of course I know that stuff like that won't fly here in the real world, but maybe that's why I'm so lenient personally when it comes to his (debatably) sexual teases and advances, because it's a fictional story for a japanese audience. Doesn't mean I would approve any advances like that if it happens to me, it's just that it's hard to take his actions seriously when Katarina or the story doesn't take them seriously. Like, the girl would be pushed down to a bed by RufuSora and gives her a hickey and she still thinks the man is out for her blood.

He wouldn't even be entirely wrong, knowing the identities of the characters who Katarina knows has romantic interest in her in the novels, actions does speak louder than words when it comes to her. Like I said, whether or not Geordo really means what he says when the story teases the readers with sexual implications in his words and action depends on the reader in my opinion. They are there, I wont pretend they don't but I'd argue about the level of intent depending on what scene you're talking about.

The only scenes on the top of my head where he is very abrasive towards Katarina is the "fait accompli" scene, the Book scene form the anime (S1 EP8), saying he wants to lock her in his room (LN6) and the multiple times Geordo had invited her in his room at night alone (LN6 and LN8, i think).

I've already explained why I am okay with both Keith and Geordo's Book scenes from episode 8 of the first season because they are accurate representations of an exaggerated and unhinged versions of their desires towards Katarina so I won't bore you with those details again.

He mentioned in Volume 6 that he wants to lock Katarina in his room forever and keep her light to himself, which alarmed a few people when the book came out, but he said that in a moment where he feels super grateful and loving towards her because she knew how tired he was despite his fake face and without even saying anything. It was a moment where he felt so infatuated towards her that he wished the moment where he gets to rest in her arms would last forever, thus he made such a comment. I make it sound more dramatic than it was in Volume 6, it was just a quick comment honestly lmao.

For people who don't read the novels, that last part looks very sus and raises a few red flags I know, but to be fair we can't definitively say what his intentions are because Katarina never commits to those visits. Katarina has actually become wary of those invitations, because Keith and Mary have warned her that Geordo's intentions are sexual, but I'm not really trusting the word of the two people who are most distrustful and antagonistic to Geordo. They could be right, of course, but who can really say? We assume that they are correct because they care about Katarina and are wary of Geordo, but hamefura('s novels) is full of unreliable narrators anyways, it's not like Keith or Mary would consider the possibility of it being anything else because when it comes to the third prince they always fear the worst case scenario.

If you think about it, Geordo is probably aware that winning her over with a "fait accompli" won't work at all because it'll put him in a position that will make other people push him for the throne (which he doesn't want) or could ruin his reputation in high society if Katarina or her family react to it negatively. I'm not Geordo though, so I can't really say if he even have such fears and doubts in the first place, that's just my assessment based on the obstacles he has. On the outside he is really sure of himself and confident (which he arguably deserves) and on the inside he is very careful and insecure when it comes to Katarina.

Also like, spoilers but for someone who is very forward when it comes to his physical advances, Geordo is super weak when he is in the receiving end of those touches. He gets super embarrassed and easily flustered when its Katarina who is touching him, as if implying that to some extent that he's all just talk lmao.

I don't really agree that Geordo doesn't care about what Katarina feels at all, in fact his inner dilemma in the novels is that he doesn't know what to do because in every step he takes he might do something that could ruin his image in Katarina's eyes, be it pursuing or abandoning the throne or looking like a monster in front of her. He even halts his plans to make advances towards her during the Keith Kidnapping Arc, but threw it away because he knows how much finding Keith means to Katarina. He puts what Katarina want and doesn't want as his priority, so when what she feels is unclear that's when he acts on his own intuition. The only reason Geordo feels so confident to advance towards her sexually is because Katarina never rejected him before (because she doesn't know what they mean, and all of this is for the sake of simply making her aware in the first place)

I'm not trying to make anyone think that one has to read all the books in order to understand him, I think the manga does okay at conveying his feelings too. The anime really prioritizes on making him look "sexy" for the japanese female audience, so anything he does is sprinkled with spice whether we like it or not.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm overanalyzing all his actions just to justify them, everyone has the right to be uncomfortable with his advances if it seems too much for you. It's just that his actions, while over the top and unnecessary, are done to please the type of audience that hamefura caters to, and it's hard to take him completely seriously when the story doesn't either in my opinion. Doesn't mean he's right or that any of it is okay, but it's his method of trying to put a dent on Katarina's bakashield. When you're in a race versus your friends who Katarina all loves equally, he's gonna use whatever card he can get in order to win.

I like Geordo; I like how much of his feelings for Katarina forces him to reexamine himself and realize that he isn't a perfect prince at all, that he has lots of problems and flaws that he needs to work out in order to be someone worthy of her. I like the way he falls more and more in love with her in every interaction they have because he finally gets to have a genuinely and caring interaction with someone. I like how Geordo wants to do better and be better for Katarina and the people around him, and he wants to be able to thank Katarina directly for that through being able to show his love. I like that despite how much of a chad he acts in front of her, he's a blushing mess at the thought of Katarina returning his feelings. I find it funny when his "sexual advances" fails and gets thwarted because he's trying them on the densest person and most protected lady to ever live. I like how Geordo is so head-over-heals in love with her and how much comfort and warmth she brings to him by simply being her caring and bubbly self.

I guess it's just a matter of different perspectives. If you find him unlikeable or a villain, then you do you. I try to explain why I personally excuse his actions, but I know it wont fly with everyone. We all see each character differently and absorb the material in different ways. In fact it's probably a bad idea for me to defend him with material that isn't the anime nor manga yet lmao. I mean I'm not that much of a fan of Mary anymore, and I'm kinda scared and wary of her, but I know people don't see her the way I do and I'm okay with that.

Maybe its just me, who is the kind of person who just goes with the flow and doesn't think too hard because it's all fiction anyways

It's hard to tell all this from simply watching the anime, so I laid all my feelings down in hopes that someone out there would understand why I like him so much.

Thank you for the ask, you can ask more questions or call me out if I said anything insensitive or wrong, I know a lot of this is me overanalyzing things which might look like I'm jus stretching. As someone who is aware of the things to come in Hamefura X, I can say that I am both excited and nervous as to how everyone will react for the direction of Geordo's character.

[babaleshy]

I'm Autistic

Because this will likely be a lengthy, wordy post about my self-diagnosis as Autistic as well as all of my experiences regarding Autistic traits, I'm going to leave a "read more" link so that you're not scrolling for ages just to catch up on your feed.

Ah, I see you've clicked "keep reading" or "read more" or whatever this site has it labeled as, now. You don't get to be mad at how long this is or how much of a waste of time reading this may be to you because you consciously clicked on the link. Therefore, I am exempt from taking responsibilities of eating up any bit of your time, including the time you've wasted reading this disclaimer.

So... Yes. I am. And it's a self-diagnosis right now.

You're probably thinking that I saw a Tik Tok clip, checked out a page on WebMD, and decided that I'm Autistic (this is in reference to a Tik Tok I saw last night that nearly made me spit out my drink because of how painfully accurate the "what people think self-diagnosis is vs reality" clip was). That is, of course, not the case.

A few years ago (likely 2018), I don't recall what it was I read online, but it made me go, "Oh wow, that makes so much sense to me," in regards to a neurodivergent trait. However, this was then I thought I had ADHD. My husband has ADHD, was diagnosed with it as a child, and because his dad forced the doctor (this was like, in the late 90s, early 2000s I think) to put him on Adderall and Ritalin, my husband does not remember 3 years of his life because he was a drooling, zombified mess. Why did his dad do this? Because his grades were bad. Did this help with his grades? No. Did his dad take him off the meds because he didn't get the desired result? Also no. My husband wasn't even informed on what ADHD was. He was simply told he had it and to take these pills. It wasn't until he (my husband) read the label saying that it could increase the risk of heart issues that he cussed his dad out and flushed all the pills down the toilet. Up until very recently, he wasn't sure if he actually had ADHD until he saw a YouTuber who was actually diagnosed with it display the exact traits he had.

But he didn't see this YouTuber when I thought I had ADHD, so my husband couldn't exactly relate, plus I didn't want to trigger anything with him on the subject.

But the more I researched, the more I realized I could be on the spectrum. It wasn't until 2019 that I was printing out articles, trait lists, etc. to highlight and put into a folder (which is thick and nearly bursting with what I've printed out to have a hardcopy of records highlighting the traits that I have, including traits my husband and my mom see in me) that I realized "I could have Asperger's."

Of course, I no longer use that term after finding out it was named after a n*zi, and I began to embrace the term "Autistic" instead.

But the thing that triggered me into going, "Wait, so it's not ADHD that I think I have, it's Asperger's?" was, like my husband, seeing a YouTuber talk about their traits and experiences. I had identical struggles, myself. (Through this same YouTuber, I also found out I'm greysexual, too! There's a name to describe my experience with sexual attraction! Yay!)

There are a lot of VERY SPECIFIC TRAITS Autistic people experience that aren't mentioned by the YouTuber or in anything that I've printed out and highlighted that I have found through various Tik Toks that I have personally experienced that simply further solidifies the fact that I'm definitely on the spectrum. When I showed the Tik Tok I mentioned earlier (I don't remember their name) to my husband last night, he was wide-eyed because the description of how that individual self-diagnosed themselves WAS EXACTLY WHAT I DID WORD FOR WORD HOLY SHIT.

I was already convinced I am Autistic, but each time I read Twitter threads of people's experiences with their Autistic traits, each time I watch Tik Toks or certain YouTubers share their experiences, it further solidifies that yep, I'm Autistic.

What's amazing is that my husband is very supportive. I'm extremely lucky to have married him. I've been a terrible masker but he loves me anyways. He never gave me shit for my meltdowns and tried to help me out, thinking I was just horribly overly stressed. Now that he knows why I've had the few outwardly noticeable meltdowns that I've had throughout our years together, he knows how to help me more, now. And while he's figured out my traits and what issues I have, knowing that I'm on the spectrum helps him make sense of why I'm like this, and he can help me accordingly whether it's to prepare for something in advance, help me calm down, etc.

(I should also add here real quick that there's a high chance I have OCD as well, but less of the compulsive actions and more of the obsessive thoughts, but I'm not entirely sure just yet if this is the case. I'm actually hoping to see someone about this but with the pandemic, I don't know when that will be.)

Now... onto the traits and experiences.

My Traits (that stand out with neon lights)(Will copy word-for-word a trait my mom or husband see in me and it will be typed in a different color.)

Having a folder that has all of my research I've obsessively looked up, printed out, highlighted what I saw in myself with one color (yellow) while highlighting what my mom and my husband see with another color (pink). I'm also using this folder to make this list as a reference because I sometimes forget certain traits I do have are because I'm Autistic. (I'm 32 as I write this, so when so much of what you think, do, and experience that you see is normal for you turns out to be an Autistic trait, it takes a while to get used to it and thus remember that because you haven't had a label for it your whole life.)

Despite being goth/punk, I dress as comfortably as I can. Textures aren't a very big issue for me, but what feels like strangulation of my body tends to be a problem. I cannot handle having the cross seams of pants feeling like I have a chopstick slowly impaling my vulva, or I can't stand how tight some shorts are that they pinch my hip joints.

I've NEVER spent much time grooming my own hair. It's either tiring, I"m impatient and want it done NOW, or both. This is why I have a Tank Girl haircut (all buzzed except for bangs), where I can basically "wash and go." (Husband does my haircuts and dyes and he's kickass at it.)

Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance.

Is youthful for age, in looks, dress, behavior, and tastes.

Usually a little more expressive in the face and gesture than male counterparts.

"May not have strong sense of identity and can be very chameleon like before diagnosis." (This resonates with me in the form that I never saw myself in ANY fictional character other than Tank Girl. My husband agrees with this opinion, but he also says he also sees a lot of me in Caulifla from Dragonball Super.)

I enjoy reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's (sometimes), can have favorites which are a refuge.

Uses control as a stress management (like routines, rules, rigid certain habits, etc.)

Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.

I've been seen as "sensitive" by some, and mocked for crying a lot by others.

I struggled with social aspects of college and have 2 partial degrees.

Often have trouble holding a job and finds employment very daunting.

Slow at comprehending at times due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.

DOES NOT DO WELL WITH VERBAL INSTRUCTIONS; MUST BE WRITTEN DOWN

Special interests (I'll get into these later).

Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.

Anxiety and fear are predominant emotions (some of which might be due to possible OCD).

I do have some sensory issues such as visual processing issues at times, certain sounds, certain smells, food I think, and issues with sunlight and my goddamn retinas.

Moody and prone to bouts of depression. Both of my parents as well as my husband have described my personality as reminding them of a cat.

Mild to severe gastro-intestinal difficulties (some of which could be due to endometriosis, btw).

I stim a little such as leg-bouncing, foot-waggling, some hand-flapping, some bouncing, the "spine-shimmy," joint-cracking, or playing with my ears.

Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.

Hates injustice and hates being misunderstood, which incites anger and rage.

Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, especially after a meltdown, likely to stutter and may have a raspy voice.

Words and actions often misunderstood by others.

Perceived to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly.

Very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passionate/obsessive interests.

Will shutdown in social situations once overloaded but generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a "performance."

Doesn't go out much; will prefer to go out with partner only (aka my husband).

Will not do "girly" things like shopping.

Takes relationships seriously.

There's a bit on this chart (some of you probably already know by know what chart I'm using here) that says due to sensory issues, one would either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it. I'm in the former camp complete with a pretty high libido.

Often prefers the company of animals.

So there are the traits that REALLY stick out like a sore thumb. These come from a site regarding female Asperger traits or however it's labeled as. I have plenty more from two other articles I printed out with lots of highlighting, but the chart actually sums a lot of the definitive shit quite nicely. At some point in this list, I could tell I went "fuck it" and copied many things word for word anyways since I'll be talking about experiences later in this post.

But it was this chart that I'd discovered that I started to realize that I really am on the spectrum, and to triple check, I asked my mom and my husband if they saw any of this in me. The traits typed in green are ones I wasn't sure of and had to ask them if they saw it. I'm not always aware of how I am, who I am at times, etc. I also didn't want to lie about it, so I had to get second and third opinions.

Despite all of this, only very few people that know me IRL know about me being Autistic. This is because I was heavily bullied growing up and since I haven't exactly left my hometown, I really don't want whoever stayed in the area as well to either have more fuel and re-enter my life that way, or try really hard to relieve their guilty conscience and demand that I forgive them or some shit. I also don't want "Autism Mommies" to come at my ass either asking that I help their kid (I'm not fond of children so that's not happening, plus ableism is what fucks a lot of Autistic people over regarding of age but they won't take that for an answer) or that because they---a neurotypical person---have a child who's Autistic, then that means they know all about it and because I'm not exactly like their child then I can't possibly be Autistic. It's just a whole mountain of shit I don't wanna get into.

This next bit will be split into 2 parts. One will be my special interests, and the other will be my experiences from my past that are prime examples of being Autistic long before anyone in the common public knew what Autism actually was.

My Special Interests (Both Forever & Temporary)

The following list will have my special interests but with indicators in parentheses as to whether they are forever-interests (as in, I never lost interest in the thing) or temporary (meaning, it was short-lived be it by weeks, months, or a few years). This will be in chronological order, meaning: the order of which these have appeared throughout my life.

Barney (temporary; helped me skip preschool and become honor roll student in kindergarten though)

Halloween (forever)

the color orange (forever)

dinosaurs (forever)

Donkey Kong Country esp. for SNES (forever)

animals (forever)

Godzilla movies (forever)

monster movies (forever)

Pokemon (temporary; I still like Pokemon, but it's not as hyperfocused as it used to be)

Digimon (temporary; same situation as with Pokemon)

Dragonball Z (forever)

Sailor Moon (on-and-off)

Ultimate Muscle (Kinnikuman Nisei) (forever)

Freddy vs Jason movie (still like, but the hyperfocus was temporary)

horror movies (forever)

Transformers (temporary)

Dark Knight movie (temporary)

Harley Quinn (temporary)

Lobo (temporary)

X-Men (forever, but only certain universes, mainly the 90s cartoon, and the character is always Hank McCoy)

neon-colored stuff (temporary; kind of some sort of semi-rave/techno phase)

books (forever; this was when I discovered it's "legal" to enjoy books if you "aren't smart"; I may explain this logic I had later in the post)

sex/sexuality/sexology (forever on the first two, temporary on the last one)

BDSM (on-and-off)

feminism (temporary in regards to doing research and educating myself; I still hold the views I've developed as a result, just not obsessively researching this topic anymore)

anarchism (forever)

ecology (forever)

Pleistocene epoch (forever)

goth and punk stuff (forever after discovering what these things are all about for real compared to when I was in high school and had no idea how to ask, who to ask, or where to look this stuff up at in rural Ohio)

Hellblazer (temporary)

Serbian heritage (on-and-off)

bats (temporary)

arachnids (forever)

teratophilia (forever; finally have a word to describe this damn kink)

gardening (current; unsure)

Russian language (current; unsure)

DIY things (forever)

Towards the end, it may not be in the proper order thanks to slowly losing my damn mind being cooped up mostly in my room on this farm since moving back here in 2014. The two that are "current;unsure" are ones I have a hyperfocus in right now, but I don't know if this will be temporary or not. I certainly hope not, especially considering how useful these things will be. And while I have gardening as one of them, I haven't properly begun yet because I get empty promises from my parents where they claim they'd help me, not to worry about it, then get irritated when I ask where the help is and they suddenly can't give me the help when I told them I needed it.

I should also note that I don't exactly have an encyclopedic knowledge in a whole lot of these interests that are forever-interests because I'm normally exhausted just trying to exist with minimal trouble from people. I'm hoping this will change. The things I know I have an almost encyclopedic knowledge in would be Dragonball Z, animals/ecology, and... a-and that's it. That's really it. That's all I've got because Dragonball Z was so profoundly different compared to other cartoons I've watched in the 90s that it was a wonderful escape, and I grew up around animals, taking care of animals, and watching nature documentaries. The stress I went through growing up has caused my memory of some of that wonderful animal knowledge to be lost and what could be re-gained may be easily forgotten again, hence why I need to narrow my focus for what I'd like to be an ecologist for. While I love paleontology, I want to help the living world's ecosystems and environments, too. I'd love to go back to school for this stuff now that I'm more informed of who I am and what I want in life (as opposed to being forced to pick a college major while still in high school while I'm just trying to survive the concept of existence).

In terms of collecting things pertaining to my interests, a common pattern you'll see me have is a very slowly growing Hank McCoy collection. This is largely because there isn't too much stuff made regarding this character. (There also isn't much stuff I can find that involves Piccolo, Cyndaquil, Donkey Kong, giant ground sloths, etc. that isn't already snatched up by other fans.)

Now, I'm going to get into the list of experiences. Some of which will talk about my special interests, but I also really want to talk about my struggles, too.

Experiences That Screamed "I'm Autistic"

In gradeschool, I was friends with someone who probably wasn't actually a friend and her mom made her hang out with me since I didn't really have any friends. She has told me several times that she didn't want to be my friend anymore with some kind of hostile catty smile, but I just.. I wasn't getting it. Because there was a smile. Why say that with a smile? After all we've been through? Then she's back to being my friend the next week. She really wanted to hang out with the popular girls (yes, there were cliques in 90s American gradeschool) and has done countless things to sabotage our friendship such as telling me Barney is a fake, Donkey Kong was a real gorilla who hung himself, etc. And I believed all this shit, too, in an attempt to still be an acceptable friend. She even told me that I couldn't be a witch because I liked toads so much (toads were the only wildlife I excitedly interacted with in my back yard on a regular basis).

I love Halloween for many reasons, but one of them (aside from my favorite color being involved) was the fact that it was acceptable to wear a mask. I love (and still do) the idea of covering my face because I feel less "naked" to the world. So this pandemic had a small plus for me in the form of mask-wearing outside of Halloween has become somewhat more acceptable.

In 5th grade, another classmate who had more obvious Autistic traits and was diagnosed with Asperger's at the time was an asshole to me. They would constantly give me shit and bully me for whatever reason. When I finally took a stand, the teachers on duty at recess called me to the bottom of the hill, forcing me to look at them WITHOUT allowing me to have my hands up to block the sunlight that hurt my eyes, and were able to manipulate me into "admitting picking on so-and-so for no reason" because I chased them around the playground where a group of girls (the same cliquey assholes the former "friend" wanted to mingle with) had to group-carry me away. They're the ones who snitched and they gave me those same hostile smiles. That's when I learned that not all smiles meant good things. I was 10.

I sometimes "lose the ability" to ask for help long before the "help" I ever got in any circumstance was just me being met with frustration by whoever is trying to "help" me or I'm met with "sorry, can't help you there. (The former being with homework or school work, the latter being with going to authorities about bullies.)

Growing up, I was never girly (or girly enough) and I've tried to, but I failed miserably. My special interests would roar through and because it was too odd or different or annoying, it gave other girls fuel for bullying me with.

Regarding the lack of being girly enough, I was at a pool party with the former "friend" mentioned earlier and she started this "game" where she and the other girls would leap into the pool saying, "I love you, Leonardo!" This was in 4th grade and in reference to the Titanic movie, which at that point, I'd never heard of, because I was too pumped for the latest Land Before Time sequel. So when I leapt into the pool, I said, "I love you, Raphael." All the girls were confused, asked who that was. I then asked, "Aren't we playing Ninja Turtles?" Because the only Leonardo I knew of was a fucking Ninja Turtle, goddamnit. Who let you brats watch that shitty romance film anyways? Boring as fuck.

Aside from the occasional weekend visits or sleepovers at the former "friend's" house, I didn't get to socialize much, so I would spend most of my days (especially in the summer) watching what was on TV or watching from our very large VHS collection. During which I would make mental notes on how certain characters acted or what they said and try to remember that to mimic them in a social setting, which would be out of place because I'd be so focused on mainly the dialogue that once it prompts me to say the thing, they don't respond how I expect them to and then I'm at a loss.

I was very ignorant of music and didn't even know the concept of independent or underground bands existed. Plus, rural Ohio is a cultural wasteland. Otherwise, I would've gotten into metal, goth, and punk way earlier in life. So I thought that bands that existed were because television said so.

Speaking of an odd logic... If it was taboo or bad to talk about, I thought it was illegal. Thus, I thought any knowledge about sex was illegal and that it was supposed to happen "naturally."

I also thought that, because I wasn't considered as smart by my peers, some teachers, and even as such in the form of an insult from my parents from time to time (despite what they claim NOW), that also meant I wasn't allowed to enjoy books, because only smart people are allowed to enjoy reading. So therefore, it would be illegal for me, a not-smart person, to enjoy reading a book. So I had to focus on the pictures because if I enjoyed reading, somehow everyone would know and then I'd get into trouble.

I also thought it was illegal to talk about periods.

I socially struggled BADLY when I got to middle school because my brain was like... 4 years behind? How the fuck do people know all these bigger words? Or complex issues? This was also when I had to start suppressing ALL urges to cry because at that age, I'm not "supposed" to cry over everything. So I still, to this day, suppress it to the point of guaranteeing inducing a headache. Because I've always caught shit for crying.

Middle school was when I met an oppressive "friend" who was obsessed with me because she had a crush on me and was rather controlling of who I could and couldn't talk to and got pissy if I got close to making a new friend. Because I was desperate for a friend that wasn't like the former "friend," I allowed this abuse into my life.

High school was me just trying to survive. By the time I got home, I was too mentally exhausted to enjoy anything short of watching TV or whatever was rented from Blockbuster.

My brain was still feeling like it was years behind, and I struggled to keep up with whatever was supposed to be something I knew about, including the concept of masturbation.

Like I said earlier, anything sex-related might've been illegal to talk about, and because masturbation was still kinda taboo, I feared I'd get in trouble, but my teenage hormones compelled me to do it a LOT. It consumed my free time almost like an escape, a form of stimming, but I was shameful of it to the point of suicidal thoughts.

The former bullet was due to being raised in a christian household. My parents didn't have such views on sex like this, but I was afraid of being in trouble for asking, took to the internet, and caught some misinfo about how immoral it was. I mourned I'd be going to hell.

Speaking of religion, I thought it was illegal to change your religious beliefs, and there was only Judiasm, Muslim, and Buddhism outside of christianity (I'm Pagan, now).

While I was excited to get away from my parents presumably for good after high school, college was a new form of hell. The sudden, dramatic change in environment and lack of ANY preparation for living like an adult on my own caused me to mentally/socially/emotionally malfunction. I had outbursts I desperately tried to suppress, I felt stupid because everybody sounded smarter than me, I didn't actually want to go to art school but wasn't smart enough for anything else and never really bothered to better my artistic skills and thus felt like I shouldn't be there anyways, I struggled to fit in better, I had no idea how to function that certain habits such as neglect of my own dishes on my desk developed because I LITERALLY COULD NOT SEE MY OWN MESSES DUE TO THE STRESS I WAS EXPERIENCING. This was 3 or 4 long YEARS of this.

Attending art classes mostly run by very demanding (and demeaning) teachers while my art skills weren't up to par added to this stress on top of me not actually wanting to be THERE in the first place, just away from my parents.

I nearly ruined a friendship with a roommate because of my struggles. I'm not even sure if she is aware of my Autism because I'm afraid to approach her about it for some reason.

Plenty of times throughout my life where I'm loud and don't even realize it.

I've info-dumped on my parents, but right now they half or completely ignore me.

I've tried making eye contact, but it's like staring in the sun not in the sense of pain, but in the sense of by natural reaction looking away. When I force myself to make eye contact, I'm spending so much focus and effort into doing that to the point where I am unable to pay attention to what the person is saying. Instead, I stare at the mouth so I make sure I hear correctly the words they're telling me.

Each time someone is mad at me and gives me the silent treatment, and I inquire what I did to piss them off, they get madder because I'm somehow supposed to immediately know when I fucking don't. Then, half the time, they continue not telling me and I have to hear it from someone else. This further confuses me as to why they don't just simply fucking tell me.

I've annoyed people to listening to the same one or few songs over and over again. A lot (currently obsessed with the Sunset Overdrive and Tank Girl movie soundtracks).

I can "smell" the heat outside on a summer day.

I can smell other people's unique scents sometimes (especially when in someone's house; also experienced this in other people's dorms).

I can't remember what grade this was, but in high school, we went to some kind of space camp facility thing, and our class was split into two groups: one group was the group who was on Mars and ready to come home, the other was on Earth and can't wait to go to Mars. I was in the former group. My job in this little fun display interactive room thing was to examine the isotopes and report... uh.. I can't remember.. Report something that was off. Everyone else was dicking around with what they're supposed to do, and I was actually doing my job, and then said something, like I was supposed to, if I found something that was off (I don't remember the specifics). When the scientist who worked at the facility praised me on "saving the crew," I caught this look from the entire class a look I can't quite describe other than they didn't seem to like the fact that I did a good thing and was being praised for it instead of any of them (or they were shocked that a "dumb girl" like me could achieve this and get praise for it, I don't know.. hard to tell). This was a science class field trip, but despite this, I didn't have an interest in space, and still didn't feel I was smart. (Come to think of it, I think this was actually an 8th grade field trip, I can't remember.)

Just discovered this today: I'm actually very easily overwhelmed that could trigger a meltdown when I wake up. I don't know for how long until that point passes, either. But this could also be explained with how I've reacted to certain alarm clocks (the ones with the bells just induce pure rage in me). Either I will be on the verge of a meltdown or I'll have a fucking headache all day. Normally, I just wanna drink my coffee and either read or practice a little on Duolingo.

I don't always have enough room for a lot of info in my head for things that I like, so I have to carefully narrow shit down. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what to do about my urge to get my hands on some monster movies while making sure nothing else I've retained info for wanes. Not sure if this is due to stress or what. But apparently I have designated compartments for certain categories in my brain. If I get into monster movies, continue to work on my knwoledge on ecology and paleontology, and gain more knowledge about arachnids, that shouldn't impede on the "language" category, so whatever I learn in Russian will remain safe.

Interest "Webs."

I have what I'd like to call an "interest web." My special interests in one thing can lead me to having an interest in another. I care about nature, and I also care about paleontology. Paleoecology is something I'd like to dip my toes into. But because this all involves nature, I have an interest in botany (though it's still intimidating so I'm sticking with local native trees) and arachnids (after conquering my fears and learning more about them). So the web stops at arachnids there (no pun intended).

Back to ecology and paleoecology...

I have a major interest in the Pleistocene because it was just before we humans started writing shit down. Hints of that era echoes within our current environment, from the pronghorn being "unnecessarily" fast (due to miracynonyx, the "American cheetah," which is now an extinct cat) to avocados not seeding like they should without human assistance as well as the yucca trees (Joshua trees) going into retreat thanks to the absence of giant ground sloths.

But the planet is warming, and we could use all the help from plants that we get, especially when it comes to making sure that permafrost stays frozen. So there's this "Pleistocene Park" project taking place in Russia, and one day, if I get into the field of paleontology, I may want to chat with those involved in that project, but one can't expect every other country to know English.

There's also FROZEN PLEISTOCENE MEGAFAUNA CARCASSES BEING FOUND IN PERMAFROST, too.

On top of all of this, Russia's northern lands will become habitable for humans if shit hits the fan and the planet's mostly fucked, so it's still nice to know the language.

See how all of these interests intertwine? (It also helps that since I am of Serbian heritage but can't find accessible resources to learn the language and I wanna know a Slavic language that Russian is kind of accessible. It also seems to be the only Slavic language "commonly" found in colleges when it comes to foreign language courses.) This is why I call them "interest webs." Not sure if other Autistic people have them, but it's something that I have.

The second one could simply involve Halloween, punk, goth, monsters, and teratophilia with Halloween being the gateway because my favorite color is orange.

Just thought this would be a fun thing to touch on real quick.

My Sensory Traits

I do experience some sensory traits, but they're not intense like some people would assume (unless I'm simply not noticing how intense they can be).

I can "smell" the summer heat, which was something I thought everybody else experienced but I'm wrong.

My retinas hurt in bright sunlight despite not looking anywhere near the sun, which I also thought everybody else experienced.

Drinks taste different or off in some way if they're not in a particular mug, glass, etc. that the drink is supposed to be in. (I have certain mugs that I enjoy my coffee in, but the other mugs? They taste off. I can't explain why. I have ONLY TWO acceptable little tumbler glasses for orange juice.)

Breakfast food does not taste like breakfast food unless it's on this one specific plate from my childhood.

Dinner can be iffy on certain plates, but the safest go-to is the knock-off blue willow plates.

Lunch is acceptable on anything, but if I'm having simply a sandwich, it must be on a small plate.

I have specific forks I'd prefer to use because of how they feel in my hand, how the food-part feels in my mouth, and how the fork itself tastes.

Gotta have cinnamon in my coffee. I just do. It's not coffee without it.

I cannot fucking handle hair snippets of any size for any reason on my body. This is why there is a rigid procedure to where my husband must buzz my hair over a paper-towel-covered sink (to avoid clogging the drain) while wearing a particular tanktop Harley Quinn night shirt, and then I must shower immediately afterwards. During the haircut, my skin itches like mad like I'm being poked by the hairs directly even in places where hair snippets have never, ever gone.

I'm overly sensitive to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes.

Also cannot brush teeth with cold water because it's so painful (this was LONG before I had dental issues and persists to this day). Even my tongue hurts from it.

I'm picky as fuck with candy. Trick-or-treating was sometimes difficult because all I cared about was either orange-flavored stuff, or chocolate. Only specific chocolates, too (Krackle, Mr. Goodbar, Crunch, Butterfinger, Reese's, that was it.) Skittles were okay, but a lot of the baggies I got had a LOT the red ones and the red ones suck. Can't stand the other candies. (But my tastes have changed since then, and I opt for European chocolate from Aldi's as they are far superior, especially Moser Roth's 70% dark chocolate and Choceur's coffee and cream chocolate.)

Speaking of candy, the Whopper's Robin's Eggs tasted better than regular Whoppers and I will never be able to explain why.

Despite loving orange flavored stuff, I have trust issues when I see an unlabeled orange candy because there's the dangerous chance it could be fucking peach flavored. *gag* (I like real peaches, but the artificial flavored ones suck balls.) Due to my dental situation, I cannot enjoy very much in a way of candy, and the only artificial orange flavoring I CAN enjoy is through Vitamin D gummies... And even then, EVEN THEN I have to worry about the fucking peach flavors if I have to go with a different brand because we can't get our hands on a bottle from Simple Truth.

Artificial cherry flavoring is death.

The ONLY flavored medicine that was acceptable to me was orange (of course) and those dissolving strips that were grape-flavored that they don't fucking make anymore because fuck me that's why. Everything else was peer-pressured to do shots kiddie edition.

The different colored coatings on M&M's taste different from one another and I cannot explain why. It's very subtle, hardly noticeable, BUT I CAN TELL.

Peanutbutter is fucking amazing.

The smell of peanutbutter is fucking not.

There are these frozen meals my husband gets for days he doesn't have energy to cook and one of them (all from the same brand) smells like fucking hell.

My husband's Nissan Cup Noodle ramen overpowers my incense despite what other household members say.

I love incense, especially dragonsblood, "coffee time," pumpkin spice, raven, and rain.

All of the autumn scents or scents associated with autumn are orgasmic to me.

The smell of artificial cherry is death.

I would love to have perfume or body spray of Play-Doh.

I can compare smells of some places to others, such as the library branch I frequent smells like my gradeschool, as do SOME of their books' pages, and when my husband and I walked through this hall-like tunnel-like storefront in downtown Pittsburgh, I said it smelled like my grandma's basement, and he thought the same, so we're in aggreeance that all grandma's basements smell the same. Except for my Baba and Deda's. Their basement smelled like they actually still enjoy life and had their shit together.

Speaking of gradeschool smells, my gradeschool had two directions of classrooms, one led towards the gym, but the hall off to the side was carpeted, had some nice colors, and held 2 kindergarten classes and 2 first grade classes. That section of the building had its distinctive smells. The other direction led to the office, the cafeteria, and the hall with the 2 classes of grades 2 through 5 plus the preschool and the art/music class was. The smell was different in all classes EXCEPT for the music/art class, and I never went to preschool so I wouldn't know what that smells like.

ALL PRINCIPLE OFFICES SMELL THE SAME. HOW.

I could smell when my husband accidentally put in cinnamon when he thought he grabbed paprika in a dish that I liked. He was terrified of telling me. That was a happy accident and it became a permanent ingredient. He was mortified and shocked that I could smell his whoopsie in my dinner he made me.

I can also smell the cinnamon they use in Little Caeser's pizza crust. Yes. They use cinnamon. But I was the only one to notice.

Honey is like peanutbutter: it tastes amazing. But holy shit fuck that smell.

Gas stations smell like death, sadness, and questioning life's choices.

No two people's car interiors smell alike.

I can smell when it will rain soon, especially if it's about to storm.

I'm the one who noticed that hairy white oldfield asters smell like cake batter.

Dominant yellow filling my entire vision can be sometimes painful.

I used to be able to "hear" the color yellow in my head so much I thought yellow actually made a noise. It was a particular shade of yellow, and it made this Playskool toy-like clicking bell ringing noise, but really obnoxiously, almost painfully. I don't know how to describe the shade other than "cloudy pastel lemon?" It looked like the fucking lemon-flavored medicine I had to take as a kid.

My parents tried mixing in this cherry flavored death medicine in with my orange soda thinking I wouldn't know the difference but I did, so I dumped it down the drain and opened a new can because that can of Big K orange was fucking ruined.

Orange is wonderful to my eyes. But it's a hard color for me to find when it comes to getting things in a particular color. My back-up colors are red, green, and purple.

The sunlight hurts my retinas, even when I'm not looking at the sky at all, but the pain intensity increases the further I look up on a sunny summer day. This has been like this since childhood. Prescriptive sunglasses shouldn't be fucking expensive and should be covered by healthcare insurance.

I have to try really FUCKING hard not to stare at someone's muscles in person because ugh... Good thing I rarely see anybody who's well-built. (No really, this isn't even really a sexual thing, I'm so fucking fascinated and once I realize "oh, so that particular muscle looks like that from that angle", I get a glimmer of hope that I MIGHT be able to draw something humanoid since I suck at drawing people.)

Orange trees as so pleasing to the eye, and these are much more socially acceptable to stare at, lest I'm in person and the property owner might think I'm plotting to steal some (luckily I've never been anywhere near a place that grows orange trees).

Neon lights are amazing and I want them to come the fuck back. I swear, stores were so much more enjoyable of an environment when they were common. Such lights improve my mood in a way I cannot describe. I'm no longer in a hurry to get home if I am in the presence of neon lights.

Sunny days during winter are painful because the sunlight reflects off the snow. I'm painfully blinded if I look outside or go anywhere.

I cannot handle the sight of someone having boogers/snot hanging from their nose, not the sight of someone vomiting, nor the sight of an syringe needle piercing flesh.

I cannot handle the sound of alarm clock bells. I have woken up in a rage and been in a bad mood I try so hard to suppress for a good portion of the day. If I hear an alarm clock bell now these days, I wanna take it and chuck it across the room regardless the time of day or if I'm already awake. It's not so bad if I hear it from a video. In person? That's starting a war with me.

Children crying or screaming (especially babies) are almost painful to me and triggers my fight-or-flight response.

The reason why I was the loudest mellophone player in marching band was to drown out hearing the fucking trumpets. And I did; I was louder than the trumpets. (I quit marching band my sophomore year but for different reasons.)

Much of the music from the 80s that gave it that sound that definitely said it's from the 80s is very pleasing to my ears.

I love punk music for its messages, lyrics, and energy, but goth always puts me into a headspace where I feel like I'm at home; I'm at peace and want to cuddle the monster under my bed.

However, some punk songs can hit deep or strong and live rent-free in my head, such as Anti-Flag's "Racist," Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl," and Skarpretter's "Nazi Scum."

One particular artist's voice I cannot get over because his is the first voice of any kind that makes me wanna fan myself is Peter Steele of Type O Negative. My favorite song, however, is "All Hallow's Eve" because his voice, the subject, and the lyrical content.

I'm able to hear something off in the oscillating fan my husband likes to use before he notices it.

I'm the one who can hear coyotes at night (doesn't help my mom wants to blast westerns to drown out the world and I'm back here in my room away from that shit though).

I can hear the branches scraping against the house, gently making creepy noises before I realize what the fuck it is, BUT NOBODY ELSE HEARS IT.

I can recognize the call of a robin because we had so many at the house I grew up in, and nobody else in this family fucking noticed.

I tend to notice the sound of the rain over all the house noise first.

I don't like tight clothing, which is why I prefer bralettes because my tits hurt.

If I could, I'd go without the bra because the band can sometimes suddenly feel tighter than it actually is, but because I have large nipples, I kinda need that bra for a bit of protection.

Shorts can be tight around the crotch, hip joins, and lower belly region, and that's a big no-no for me.

I'd prefer baggy pants, honestly.

Can't have tight footwear. No.

The seam at the top of socks or tights hurt my pinky toes if the whole sock/tights shift that way.

I already covered the hair snippet thing so since this is the sense of touch, another body hair thing is I kinda don't wanna shave my pits anymore because they are extremely itchy when they grow back. HAVE to shave my crotch because if I don't it gets horribly itchy, and my thick, fast-growing hair weaves into underwear, gets caught in pads, etc.

Ah yes. Pads. I hate them, but they're far more acceptable than a tampon or a cup because I have vaginismus.

Certain fabric textures are itchy as hell. There's a black shirt I have whose collar and cuffs are gorgeous but I have to wear something underneath to avoid feeling itchy.

Winter is hell for me here in the midwest, as I am very susceptible to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes. I become very slow, too. I feel like I can't get warm enough most of the time.

Air conditioned places in the summer feel almost similar, so I don't always wear shorts if I'm expected to go into, say, a Walmart with my husband to pick up everything. I'll shiver.

(We're gonna get into TMI territory here.) Can't masturbate by hand unless I've got a nitrile glove on because my brain only focuses on what my fingers are touching more than what my cunt feels.

Can't have any sex with my husband without anything brighter than low-light because things can be visually distracting in the room, or lights can suddenly feel way too bright to me. (Halloween string lights or those LED rope lights with adjustable brightness features and colors are excellent for this situation.)

In Conclusion

This is all that I've figured out so far. None of this hit me at once as a realization when I figured out that I'm Autistic. This took a while to realize it, and the realizations were mostly at random times through examples of other people experiencing it on the internet or through me going, "Huh, is that an Autistic trait?"

There may be even more that I'm currently unaware of or have forgotten to type here.

I apologize for how extremely lengthy this was. This took all day to type because of having to get up and do other things that needed to be done. One of the reasons why I really wanted to type this is because it's much easier to organize this on a computer, and I am absolutely shit at organizing files on my computer.

Unfortunately, while my husband is wonderful in supporting me, my parents aren't exactly all that great at it. Especially my dad, who is either vaguely dismissive or outright "forgets" that I'm Autistic (he honestly just... doesn't care, and tries to make things convenient for him at the expense of others most of the time). My mom... I'm not real sure. There are times where she seems to remember and others where she doesn't. I'm honestly wondering if they don't like knowing that I'm Autistic because that means my brother would have been as his traits were far more obvious than mine.

I hope that whoever is questioning whether or not they're Autistic has found this helpful at least in the sense that it would point you in the right direction on where to go next, but I would highly recommend checking out online Autistic communities, as that's where I've discovered that I'm on the spectrum.

[twomoonstwosuns]

at first sight [bonus chapter]

back to you [series masterlist]

pairing: professor!poe dameron x reader

warning: none? language?

word count: 2.5k

a/n: well im sorry this took so long to get up...we are struggling hard right now. and if you are too, know you're not alone and we’ll get through this <3 stay tuned for this same chapter but from poe’s POV

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New year, new me. You told yourself the same thing at the beginning of each school year. 

Although it was usually just said on New Year’s Eve in preparations for the brand new year, you felt it applied to starting a new semester as well: new classes, new teachers, new schedule, new routine. It was also the beginning of your senior year of college, your last first day of school ever. So in a way, you were preparing for something new. You’d graduate before you knew it and then adulthood would creep up on you. 

But you could hardly wait to see what the next two semesters would bring you in the meantime. 

You made sure to leave your apartment early to stop at your favorite coffee stand in the student center. Waving at your friend Qi’Ra behind the counter, you got yourself in line and replied to your mom and sister’s happy first day texts. 

“I knew I’d find you here.”

The familiar voice of your best friend Karé made you smile and you squealed quietly as you hugged her. She had spent the night with her boyfriend Snap after being out of town the last week before school, so you hadn’t seen her after you moved in.

“I’ve missed you! How was your vacation?”

“Awesome as usual. Weather was amazing, we spent everyday out on the water. Snap’s sunburn is finally starting to heal.”

“God yeah, you sent me that picture of his back…that looked awful.”

She nodded. “He was all ‘oh, there’s lots of clouds in the sky, it’s not going to be that bad’ and now I get to hold this over him for the rest of his life.”

You laughed as she rolled her eyes as you finally got to the counter. Qi’Ra already knew your order by heart and, like the first day of every new semester, she gave you your drink free of charge. She whipped it up right away, handing it to you with the promise of getting together soon. You and Karé walked outside, the bright sunshine making your drink sweat and the both wish you didn’t have to spend the next couple hours stuck inside. 

“So, how’s the stuff with your dad going?”

You shrugged. “If I had spoken to him at all since he walked out, I’d have something to tell you.”

Karé’s shoulders slumped. “No…seriously?”

You sighed and nodded as you stirred your drink.

“Not one word. I told you my uncle came by a few days after he left to tell us he was okay?” Karé nodded. “A couple of weeks went by and the next thing I know, he’s filing for divorce. But he hasn’t actually talked to Tallie and I.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry…”

You sighed heavily and shook your head. “It’s whatever. Nothing I can do. Haven’t talked to him since and he abandoned us for his secretary so I don’t plan on talking to him at all.”

Karé nodded slowly and reached over and squeezed your arm and you gave her a small smile of appreciation.

“Anyway…what class are you off to first?”

“My advanced math class.” You made a face and she chuckled. “Yeah, you’re not jealous at all, are you?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I get to start out my day with my half semester class…three hours, twice a week, tons of homework.”

“Fun. Who’s your professor?”

You grabbed your phone from your pocket, bringing up your schedule and looking at the details.

“Uhhh, Dameron. Heard of him?”

“I think he’s one of the newer teachers here.”

“Well, hopefully he’s good.” You took a sip of your drink and checked the time on your phone. “Guess I’ll go find out.”

“See you later, then.”

Karé gave you a quick hug and you walked in opposite directions. You walked to the building of your classroom and though you were grateful for the air conditioning, you hoped that since it was the first day you’d be let out early. The sun was out, flowers were still blooming along the sidewalks despite the late season. Fall semester was always the one you dreaded the most…stuck inside staring at four blank walls during your favorite kind of weather. 

The classroom was on the third level, which meant minimal traffic in the halls and big windows that showed a great view of campus. The blinds were open, allowing sunlight to flood into the room and making it that much more welcoming. A few students were already seated and the professor nowhere in sight but his stuff at his desk. You made your way into the room, not finding a friend yet, and walked to a seat right around the middle of the room. You took your things out and waited and scrolled through three different social media apps as more students trickled in. Your name was called and you looked up and saw a girl you worked with the previous semester and smiled as she sat down next to you. At least you kind of knew one person in the class. 

“Alright, let’s get started.”

One glance up at the source of the voice was not enough as you practically did a double take. Your professor was an extremely handsome man. Dark hair sat on top of his head in a mess of curls that laid just between styled and unruly. You could see from your seat that his eyes were dark…brown, maybe. He was young; you guessed that he couldn’t be more than thirty-five. As he came around from behind his desk, you took notice of the way his dark blue jeans fit snugly around   big thighs. His sleeves were pushed up to show off tan forearms and as he leaned back against his desk, he crossed his arms in front of his broad chest.

“Good morning, everyone.” Three simple words grabbed the attention of every girl in class. “I’m Professor Dameron. I hope you all had a great summer. I don’t know about some of you, but I am very excited to get this semester going.”

There was some polite laughter. He was using a light, friendly tone of voice, making sure his very first impression on people wouldn’t wasn’t a bad one. 

“Subject-wise, this is one of my favorite classes to teach. The only way I could get this class in this year was to teach it in half the amount of time as a normal class. I’m warning you now, this is going to be a busy class. We are fitting about fifteen weeks worth of stuff into seven weeks. Attendance is going to be very, very important.” 

Some of the students visibly gulped, others nodded slowly as the realization of how much work would have to go into this class started to sink in. “Don’t worry, I will have lots of resources to help you guys. Um, just an example…I will make all of the lectures and slides available on the portal after class, including any key notes from the textbook and discussions that come up during class. That being said, you still need to attend class. I’ll go over more of this when we go through the syllabus.”

You admired him as he spoke. The hint of smile on his face showed his excitement for the class and the new semester. His voice was smooth like honey and you were sure you could listen to him spout off the most boring stuff in the world and not tire of it.

“First things first…attendance.” He turned to grab his clipboard and you and the girl next to you both checked out his ass. “In lied of just calling your names, we’re going to do an icebreaker.”

The collection of heavy sighs made him chuckle lightly. “I know, I know…they’re not always fun and you’ll probably do a whole bunch more after today. Personally, I like to get to know my students. We’ll be spending a lot of time together this semester and the more comfortable you feel talking to me, the more open you’ll be to telling me what you need to help you succeed in this class. So, let’s do it and get it over with. Tell me your name, something fun you did over the summer, your favorite type of music and…what do you think? Favorite color? Favorite animal? “Let’s do favorite animal.”

Glancing around, you saw people look anywhere but at their teacher, hoping they wouldn’t catch his eye and make them go first. 

“Alright, come on guys, you’re acting like I’m going to pull your teeth out. I’ll go first. My name is Poe, this summer I visited my dad in Colorado where I grew up and saw friends that live on both coasts. I’m a big fan of classic rock but catch me jamming to a pop song every now and then…” That got some laughs from the class and he laughed with them. “Seriously, anything by the Weeknd.”

“The Weeknd has a lot of songs about sex,” the girl next to you whispered and you nearly choked as you took a sip out of your water bottle. 

“And my favorite animal is a dog. Alright, let’s start in the back.”

One by one students introduced themselves. He asked questions about their summer jobs and their summer vacations, genuinely interested in the details and making them feel comfortable talking to him. A couple of people named weird animals as their favorite, such as lizards and dinosaurs, that spurred further discussions and got the class completely off track. It was all fun and games until you got to your row and you counted how many people were before you and practiced what you would say in your head.

“Okay, um, I’m Y/N…” Poe looked at the attendance list, finding your name and marking you down in attendance. “I didn’t do anything super special over the summer, just worked my two jobs and went to the cabin with friends and family. I like pretty much any kind of music, as long as it’s got a good beat I don’t really care what genre it is…though I am a sucker for pop music sometimes. And my favorite animal is an elephant.”

Poe cracked a smile and you let out a quiet sigh of relief as the girl next to you introduced herself. As social as you were, you still hated speaking in front of a classroom full of people. 

“Okay, see? That wasn’t so bad.” Poe teased as the last person finished speaking. A few people laughed and you smiled. Almost an hour into class and you already knew this would be one of the classes you’d look forward to the most. “Let’s start going over the syllabus. I’ll have you pass these down and I’ll bring it up on the screen here…”

He handed a stack of papers to a student in the front row and they started passing them down. Poe went back around his desk and connected his laptop to the projector. The desktop image of a Corgi laying in the grass with a toy appeared and you along with half the girls in the class let out not subtle aww’s.

“That’s my dog, Beebs.” Poe smiled sheepishly when he noticed the screen had popped up.

“How old is he?” One of the girls from the back asked. 

“He’s probably three, three and a half…I rescued him as a puppy so I’m not too sure.”

More aww’s filled the room as he brought the syllabus up onto the screen. You grabbed one when it reached you and passed it along and a quick glance through the five pages showed the class schedule and detailed expectations. When everyone had a copy, he started going over it, talking about the schedule in extreme detail and laying out what a typical class day would look like.

Poe finished up the syllabus and gave you a fifteen minute break before diving into the first chapter. His teaching style was the dream, the way that every teacher should teach: not too fast, not too slow, answering every single question before moving on, and making sure everyone was keeping up. 

Despite it being a three hour class, you no longer dreaded it…you knew that Poe would do as much as he could to help you all succeed. 

“Alright, homework for Thursday: chapter two, print out the study guide and start working on it. We’ll finish our chapter one discussion then as well. You’re good to go.”

You gathered up your things, shoving them into your backpack and checking the time to see you had just enough to grab something to eat before your next class. You had just reached the top of the stairs when you realized you hadn’t put your water bottle into your backpack. Letting out an annoyed groan, you doubled back up the stairs towards your classroom. You snuck in past a couple of students that were just leaving and beelined for your desk, making Poe look up at you.

“Sorry, forgot my water bottle.”

You found it tucked under your seat and grabbed it, giving him a small smile as you passed to head back out the door. 

“Why elephant?”

Looking back at him, you saw an easy smile on his face. “Sorry?”

“You said your favorite animal was an elephant. Usually it’s household pets or animals that live in the forest…or apparently lizards and t-rex’s. Why elephant?”

You shrugged with a nervous smile. “I, um…I don’t know. I just think they’re beautiful and strong and they roll around in the mud and water and act like such babies…baby elephants actually suck on their trunks like babies suck on their fingers—“

“Do they?” You blushed hard, feeling like you just made a fool of yourself. “So you don’t just think they’re cute…you’re practically an expert on them?”

His tone wasn’t teasing like you expected, but instead curious at the knowledge you shared. 

“No, I actually saw that on one of those random Facebook videos.”

A heartfelt laugh erupted from his chest and you laughed with him. 

“I know what you’re talking about,” he said as he continued packing up his bag. “They’re those videos that are on random pages you liked years ago or from a news source…I’ve actually found some good recipes from them.”

“So you know. Random but good information.”

He nodded and you felt your phone buzz in your hand. You looked down at it and saw a message and noticed the time. 

“I should go, um I have class…I’ll see you around, Mr. Dameron.”

You gave him a small wave and internally cringed at yourself as you headed towards the door, the flush of embarrassment in your face.

It was going to be an interesting semester. 

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[odissey061]

Parenting with(out) you [pt. 2]

I didn’t specify very well in the last chapter, but the reader was a member in an organization similar to the Haunting Dogs (for the ones who read the manga), but with the difference that this organization was subdued to a politician, so their missions could also be like kill x person. She is a skilled killer and a very good fighter you have no idea about how many scenarios played in my mind with a Mafia!Dazai x Killer!reader. Dark couple power, guys--.

It’s also implied that the reader and Chuuya were friends when Dazai worked with the Mafia and when she escaped from her boss, Chuuya offered her a shelter (the first time Chuuya appears in the anime, he said he just arrived in Japan after spending some time in the east)

[Mild smut]

The gif has not plot purpose: I juast wanted admired once again this hottie in a white suit

 Your first encounter with Keiko… didn’t go very well: you teared up as soon as you saw her, but she hid behind her father’s leg, refusing to see you. Of course, Dazai told her that there was the possibility she could see you for the first time, but it was like three month ago and in the meanwhile the kid started to believe she was not going to meet you. For the first month, she saw you as a woman who wanted take away from her the only parent left. She only changed her behavior with you when Dazai scolded her harshly, because she said she hated you and she didn’t want to see you again. That was the first and the last time Dazai slapped her.

 Hearing those words, you started to cry too: you know it wouldn't be easy to make Keiko accept you in her life, but still… From another room, you listened to Dazai saying “I know is difficult for you; but she is your mother. I already told you that she didn’t leave us because she wanted, but because she was forced” and also “I just want the two women of my life to love each other, can you do this for daddy? ”.

 Then she came into yours and Dazai’s room and she sat on the bed, close to you. Keiko gazed at you for a long time, then she spoke:”You have the same hair as me and also your face is similar to mine. Daddy says that we can both understand him the most and that my character is really similar to yours when you meet for the first time. Are you really my mommy? You are not trying to take away my dad away from me, right?”. “No, of course not. I love you so much, Keiko. I’m sorry for disappearing, but I didn’t want to put yours and Osamu’s life in danger. I’m so, so sorry, Keiko”.

 Then you showed her your wallet: there was a folded photo of your daughter with Dazai. Only then Keiko understood you really were his mother and you were with her. She hugged you, crying, and begged you to don’t leave her again. “I will do everything in order to have your pardon” you said and with that words you firmed your own end. But we are going to see this later.

When you started to work at the ADA, you requested to be Yosano’s partner, due to your ability: you could force someone else to do what you wanted, but you had to hurt yourself and the more lethal the wound, more control you had. You and her became friends really fast since you were the woman more close to her age. Sometimes you helped her in her laboratory and other times you carried on a case alone.

You two often spent time together out of work and you accompanied her to go shopping under the other members of the Agency’s blessing, of course, but you refused whenever she proposed to you to drink together, saying that somebody was waiting for you at home  and she teased you about your lover. Well, she wasn’t completely wrong, but you were talking about your daughter. (Neither you or Dazai told your coworkers you were in a relationship and you also had a child).

At work, nobody knew that you two were engaged: the smarter ones understood that you and Dazai weren’t completely strangers, since you entered at work and left it at the same hours, really often you spent your breaks together etcc…; but they couldn’t imagine you were actually engaged (and you were parents!)

Let’s answer one of your questions: how did Dazai behave with you at work? Apparently, he treated you just like a colleague, but he subtly showed only to you how he cared for you. Dazai’s love language at work was impossible to notice until you knew him: every morning he left a cup of your favorite drink on the lab’s table, he was always slacking off or ignoring his work free when you had breaks and he spent them with you and he always searched for your eyes and smiled at you when you were in the same room (when you were in the lab, he often gazed at thee closed door. Kunikida seemed to have a super effective radar for when Dazai was distracted about you: every time he hit his head with the pile of documents he ignored). And he also loved caressing your hand when he passed by the spot where you were, or when you casually brushing his hair please, ask me to write something about this point T-T. His gestures were discrete and small, but they were there. you still preferred them to that time he made love to you in his study when he still worked for the Port Mafia cough cough.

You preferred to maintain a professional facade at work, but sometimes, at the first occasion nobody was looking, he took you in an unused room at the floor to spend some time with you alone ;). You two usually kissed for a long time, even if you seldom indulged in more carnal acts. You protested everytime, but Osamu insisted with his usual dramatic act that it was impossible to resist when you were so cute in that outfit. He also used the excuse that at home you had no privacy since Keiko was glued to your side, even when it was time to sleep much to Dazai’s mild annoyance since he couldn't do anything with you because Keiko slept between you and your boyfriend in your bed.

Speaking about your relationship, Yosano was the first who suspected that you and Dazai were engaged. In the Agency’s bar there was the rumor, between the maids, that Dazai had found a s/o, since every morning he bought for them a cup of their favorite drink. A day, you, Osamu and your respective partners went there to have a meal and a maid was thanking this Dazai’s s/o for existing, because thanks to them nor her of her colleague were harrassed by the question of committing a double suicide together. With a mild anger in your voice, you asked her to be more specific and for every word spilled by the maid, Dazai’s face became paler. needless to say, that night he slept in Keiko’s bed, as your daughter was with you. Yosano connected the dots and she understood you were something more than colleagues, but she kept your secret.        

 But how did the Agency find out you had a daughter? That’s a fun story. Remember when I said that the quote “I’ll do anything for you” doomed your downfall? Well, the little rascal (your kid) took this really seriously. This wicked brat listened to you talking with your boyfriend about you abandoning her and she exploited that to steal your attention: were you talking with Dazai on the sofa? She sat between the two of you, saying that she wanted to play with you. Were you working at home? She cried so much loudly that you gave up what you had to do and the list went on. It took a while to Dazai to realize that his daughter was stealing you away. You were fooled by Keiko’s angelic face, but Dazai knew this little devil too much well to be tricked. (He was one fours surprised for the cleverness she showed and three fours annoyed by it. Dazai, what did you expect from your own daughter XD).  Having said that, a day Keiko feigned to be sick in order to spend more time with you, but you had to work and the babysitter wasn’t available, so you thought bringing her to work was a good idea (spoiler: it wasn't).

 The first ones to see you with Keiko were Atsushi, Kyoka and Kunikida. A few seconds later came Kenji and the Tanizaki’s siblings. They all were fooled charmed by your daughter and they started to play with her, complimenting how cute she was. Then Naomi said:”Somehow, she looks familiar” and, after staring at her for a while, they all agreed, trying to understand who the father was. Kunikida shivered for a second noticing how similar she was to Dazai, but he couldn't imagine Dazai having a lover, let alone being a father. You heard a crash behind you and when you turned you saw a very much shocked Yosano who held in her hand a cup handle and Rampo with the open mouth as he was eating a candy. Your partner knew your relationship with Dazai, but discovering he was also a father shocked her too much, Rampo probably understood everything when he saw Keiko.

 Atsushi wondered:”But who is the father? Does he work here too?”. The poor, naive Atsushi, didn’t have the slightest idea and you couldn't even have the time to answer, that Keiko jumped off Kenji’s lap, screaming:”Daddy!!”. All the members turned to see Keiko clinging to Dazai’s leg. Kunikida’s lenses audibly cracked, some of them felt the urge to sit and Yosano had to assist a couple of faintings. Some seconds passed in the utter silence as they tried to metabolize the shock, then they started to assault you and Dazai with questions.      

 The sight of Dazai lifting up his daughter was a sight to behold and eventually they accepted the fact that Dazai is a father. the image of Dazai giving a esquimo kiss to his daughter, holding her in his arms, has me melting on the floor. “How old is she?” Naomi asked and you answered:”She’s four years old”. She thought about it for some seconds:”But if she’s four that means that you and Dazai met when he worked with the Port Mafia, isn’t it?” and luckily Yosano was quick:”There are some things that are private in a couple. Now let’s work that we already lost enough time”. She saved you before the questions became too personal.

 Dazai and Kunikida left the office for a mission and you went in the lab with Yosano, telling Keiko to don’t come in, since the room was full of lethal weapons. Feeling abandoned, she cried as loudly as she could, thinking that you’d rushed over she used the same technique at home when you are with your boyfriend. It worked every time. But you didn’t. Rampo decided to take care of her: he shared his candies with her and he asked her to help him to resolve his cases. Keiko quite enjoyed staying with him.

 After a couple of hours, when Dazai came back to the office, all of your colleagues kicked you three out, begging you to take a stroll with your child. Above all the experience was traumatic and the shock too huge for them, but what surprised them was that even someone like Dazai could have a family and be a good father. It’s murmured that that day, when Kunikida went at home, he declared:”After four years of being Dazai’s partner, I asked to the Grim Reaper to take me, but he said “no, you have to suffer a bit more” and he placed Dazai’s daughter on my path”.

You also wondered how Chuuya would react to a mini Dazai? you sadists. You, Keiko and Osamu were in a luna park to spend some quality time together as a family. Both yours and Dazai’s guard was very high, considering your past works, especially when Keiko was with you. Recently, you heard news about a child kidnapper, so you were even more anxious, but Osamu reassured you: nobody was so stupid to kidnap the daughter of an ex Port Mafia director and of an ex agent. Right? No

All happened in a second. The park was really crowded and in a second you were holding Keiko’s hand and in the next one she was no longer by your side. Surprisingly, Dazai was the most scared one: he told you before that the reason he stopped to think about suicide was Keiko, so he was really attached to his daugher (more than a normal parent). But the moment of fright and bewilderment was really brief and in the next second, both you and Dazai analyzed the situation with utmost rationality. You watched in Dazai’s eyes and you shivered: they were ruthless, without a shred of magnanimity, just like whe he woked under Mori's command

But the kidnapper was doubly unlucky: he kidnapped not only Keiko, but also Elise-chan. When Mori knew that she was kidnapped, he sent Chuuya to retrieve her. His orders were: make sure that guy regretted turning against the Mafia (you know, usual Mori stuff).

He found the kidnapper hideout and he killed him without any problems, but the troubles for him had just started. As soon as the man was dead, ten kids or more ran away from that place (Chu Chu instructed them to go to the nearest police station), but a brunette kid stayed there.

Keiko, to put it simply, fell in love with him as soon as she saw him using his ability. Osamu didn’t mention at all he was a mafioso (he wanted to show to her daughter only his best sides), but he talked about his ex partner. She clinged to Chuuya’s leg with adoranting eyes. Chu Chu was a bit creeped out: why was that child not scared? She was kidnapped, for the God’s sake

Chuuya tried to push her off, but he miserably failed. He gazed more carefully at Keiko and with dread, he admitted that she somehow reminded him of his ex partner, but that was only a coincidence, right? Elise asked her:”Why weren’t you scared?” and Keiko answered:”Because I know that mommy and daddy will come soon”. Then she looked at Chuuya, trying to remember how her father called him and she said:”Chibi-chan?”.

And the cruelty of reality hit Chuuya like a thunder: not only that wasting bandage garbage was still alive, but he also reproduced! He wanted to die, no, better: he wanted to kill Dazai once for all. But the final stroke arrived with the next question:”Do you want to marry me? Daddy told me to ask this question to a very special person”. Being proposed by Dazai’s daughter… in what other wicked ways his ex partner did try to send him to the Creator?! That was even more successful that putting a bomb in his car

Luckily, you and your boyfriend arrived at that moment. At the sight of his daughter clinging to the person he hated the most, Dazai almost had a stroke (to Chuuya’s happiness). As soon as Keiko saw you two, she runned in your direction (Chuuya was two times happier).

“You bastard, what did you say to her abou-” he started to yell at Dazai’s direction, but you interrupted him:”Thank you Chuuya for saving our daughter”. And you hardly hit Dazai's stomach with your elbow, so that he thanked Chuuya too.

In Chuuya’s mind something activated and he came to the general comprehension of what happened four years ago and why you met him some time later; but he didn’t say anything about it. He changed the topic:”You are the only woman in the world that can handle him, so be sure to be by his side”. That sounded almost like a blessing, but you didn’t dare to say it. “It’s what I intend to do”.

And walked in different directions, then Keiko yelled:”The next time we see again, tell me your answer” and you were almost sure to hear Chuuya trip to the ground. “What question have you asked?” you wondered half curious and half amused and she smiled dreamly:”If he wanted to marry me”. This time was Dazai’s turn to stumble on his steps. You laughed so hard that you stomach hurt, but you couldn’t stop, Osamu glared at you with a look of betrayal.

For the whole walk to your home, Dazai kept telling her how Chuuya was a bad person, but Keiko retorted that someone as beautiful as Chuuya couldn’t be a bad person. For a second Dazai glared at her with a sad smile, wondering if she would have told the same thing after he confessed to her all of his crimes. Knowing his thoughts, you tightened the grip of your hand on his, smiling:”For Keiko, you are the best person in the world, no matter what you did in the past”, then you added with a cheeky smile:”even better than Chuuya, I bet”.

 After tucking Keiko in her bed, you and your boyfriend retired in your bedroom. Dazai whined:”My daughter, my sweet, beloved and innocent daughter… How could she propose to another man? Especially him. She broke my heart: until yesterday she wanted to marry me. What did that slug do to her?”. You chuckled:”Are you sure it’s his fault? When we arrived it seemed like Chuuya was shocked too. I admit too that he’s beautiful”.

 At those words, Dazai’s body froze, but you didn’t notice it, too focused on changing yourself for the night. “You and him seem to be well acquainted” his voice was somehow restrained and it was just your impression, or Dazai was jealous? “Not really. When you were in the Port Mafia we met only twice, but after my escape, he saved me. I had a high fever, no place to stay and I didn’t eat in the last days. I was probably on the verge of death. He took me in his home and he helped me to get better”.

 In your stream of words, you didn’t notice that Dazai’s mood changed. In the Port Mafia he was possessive and he get jealous really often, but at least he vocalized it in his words or by action; but this Dazai was different: since once you got together, he never showed any sign of uneasiness, probably because now he knew that there was no possibility that you could fall for someone else. But Chuuya was the exception and knowing that he was by your side when you rejected his help, fueled his insecurity. And in the next second, you were under him, his hands already on your pajamas.

Notes: if you are curious about certain aspects in this AU, you can always ask me

 You lost your occasion to say:”Nothing that you imagine happened, really”, because his lips were already on yours, kissing you until you didn’t have any more oxygen in the lungs. That night, Osamu kept asking who you loved not really for reminding you but for himself. He made love to you all night along, coaxing an orgasm after another one from your body, hungry for your love. You were quite sure that the both of you have been quite vocal and you hoped to don’t wake up Keiko. After he washed you, you took his face in your hands, saying only two words, a single question, Osamu gazed surprised at you for a while, then he smiled, answering your question with three letters: yes.

[muwur]

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

[obeymeluv]

The Bros and School Headcanons

I have other stuff in mind but this is something short I can put out for now.

It’s my headcanon on the types of school/college people the bros are. I guess you can consider it college AU?

Lucifer

The Type-A asshole everyone probably hates

Doesn’t originally start out that way, doesn’t mean for people to hate him. Soon LIVES for it. Seriously, it’s like his coffee.

Prideful AF. MUST be top of the class!

His motto: “Do it right, do it once.”

Runs on an insane amount of coffee and just as insane (read: little) amount of sleep

The type to remind the teacher about assignments that were due in class if it seems like they’re going to forget about it

Asks about extra credit on day one

If people ask repeat questions that were LITERALLY just answered, he gets pissy and silently suffers

Ends up a little sad and burnt out, wondering if the grade was worth skipping out on other opportunities

Says he’s not going to do it next semester, but gets addicted to that grade high

The “friends” he makes in class are usually fellow rivals and they have a hot and cold relationship that somehow works really well

When he drops the grade-chaser stuff, he’s actually really nice to be around. He has really deep, interesting conversations that are between philosophical and educational (you just have to pull his head out of his ass first)

Mammon

Some people wonder how he got into the class, some people wonder how he’s passing it

Mammon is the dude who looks like he doesn’t know about the subject but is an absolute FOUNTAIN of knowledge

Always has sunglasses on and has some kind of drink within arm’s reach. Usually a very big coffee with lots of espresso

Constant bedhead (even if he says he fixed his hair)

Tried sitting in the front row the first week, kept getting sleepy. Now sits in the back row towards the doors.

He’s either early or late. Never on time.

The one that brings a notebook and a pen to class. Nothing extra.

Usually falls asleep or cat naps. Says he learns through osmosis

This asshole is really good at auditory learning and gets by recording the lectures

Blows through exams like they’re nothing. He’s a good BS’er and gets C’s, minimum. Usually low B’s.

This guy laughs at the Type-A stresser’s and enjoys his minimum studying

Can be suckered into group studying fairly easily but most people won’t study with him because he turns study sessions into anything BUT studying

Knows people who know people. Could probably get his hands on old tests and stuff. If he can, it’ll cost you. A lot.

Levi

This poor baby has testing anxiety hella bad when it comes to subjects he’s not super interested in or that he’s already struggling in

If he likes the subject and feels confident in it, there’s no testing anxiety.

Also brings a drink to class. It’s an energy drink.

Always comes to class early and is usually in a pair of wireless headphones, browsing on his phone

A great visual learner.

His notes are written sloppily and kind of sporadically but they’re decently organized with notes in the margin and things like that

Doesn’t like asking questions out loud. Will either email the teacher, ask after class, or make a friend that isn’t afraid to ask them for him.

If he’s having a good day, he’ll try to make jokes that only make a few people laugh. It’s usually bad timing and he’s a little sad.

MUCH BETTER AT DRAGGING PEOPLE! It’s not something he thinks about. It just slips out! Before his face can overheat, he realizes people are laughing and he kind of basks in it for a while.

Has coordinated stationary; is probably animes he’s into or colors he likes

If he has a laptop, it’s absolutely smothered in stickers

The BEST guy to have a study session with. Something about being in a library or quiet area ramps up his focus and he’s like a second-hand teacher.

Very different from his in-class persona, but is often spot on with ‘If I were the teacher, I’d put this on the exam.’

Want to be friends? Comment on his merch. He’ll start a conversation if he sees a shirt/pin/bag/pencil or anything he likes. It helps if you offer Starbucks or snacks in exchange for being tutored

Satan

Takes pride in his grades but doesn’t go out of his way to make people hate him

Will casually drop his grades when asked, but won’t own up to being the top grade. Very vague (”I did okay. Just like I expected.”)

He more or less enjoys the satisfaction of seeing a good grade come back to him after all that studying

Prone to over-thinking

Probably the first one done, but he’ll do 2 or 3 look overs to check everything before turning it in

Low-key exhausts his professors with written assignments because he gives them a fucking book. It’s all technical and correct but, really, it was only supposed to be three pages!

The one that will yell at the obnoxious people interrupting lecture. Will throw things at them if they’re in reach.

Super protective of his books and class materials. Has a hoarding/scooping reflex when messy people spread out their stuff or unwrap food. The books are not to be desecrated!

If an obnoxious eater/drinker is beside him, he thinks about strangling them to the point where it distracts him from lecture

Usually reads ahead and works ahead

If he gets points off of something, he’ll want an explanation. If he feels the points were taken away unnecessarily, there will be words

If he gets too overstimulated with noises or just hits a point of being fed up, he’ll leave lecture

Rarely brings food or drink to class but can be found at the Starbucks on campus before class. Maybe after. Some days it’s both.

Best notes around. Very technical and perfectly organized. Not colorful or anything, but definitely the envy of people.

Sells his notes/study guides each semester for money

Asmo

That guy who can slide into any friend group

Socially sharp. Can tell who the most prepared are and has an instinct for who the strongest class partners will be

Makes friends with the TA’s before the professors.

Totally convinces that TA to give him hints about the upcoming exams

People either love him or hate him. Most people love him, some people hate them because they can’t be him.

Almost always has a drink and it’s rarely the same. Usually a healthy smoothie or one of the cute juice drinks from Starbucks.

The type to bring in outside food and pick at it while he listens to lecture. Tries to listen, anyways.

Really easily distracted. Gets bored with monotonous voices and HATES teachers who just read off of a powerpoint.

His notes are very colorful and aesthetic but may not be the most informative

Does his best to stay on top of assignments but usually has 2 or 3 big screw ups a semester

Somehow always gets his ass saved. Boy has good karma in stock

This is the guy that things ALWAYS seem to work out for, and they fall in his lap

Proposes cute/semi-extravagant study dates. They are rare and exclusive. Extended to a few choice people (no, it’s not to sucker anyone into giving him class notes.)

Aim’s for C’s because anything more is just a bonus. D’s and F’s are unacceptable.

Will drag a bad partner in a heartbeat. If they didn’t help in the group project, their name isn’t going on it.

Beel

Also one of the types that doesn’t look like he belongs, but he does

Is a fountain of random knowledge

Very strong memory, but not perfect. The type that needs a little push before the absolute WALL of information comes out.

Really strong test taker

Brings tons of snacks to class

Once brought a whole-ass meal to class. He ate it one-handed and took notes with the other.

The guy that somehow gets roped into favors by other people. It’s usually quick stuff and he’s good about setting boundaries to make time for himself and his studies

Want him to study with you? Mention about splitting a pizza or something.

Your hype man. Good guy to reassure you before tests if you get test anxiety

Sick and skip class? He’ll check in on you AND send copies of his notes

Doesn’t always get assignments in on time. Only late once or twice a semester. Either eats the point difference or convinces the teacher to give him an extension.

Will take you out for post-test fun errands

Belphie

Does he exist? You won’t find out until it’s time to take an exam.

Belphie does a lot of research before he signs up for a class. Would like to go 100% online but knows that isn’t realistic, so he combs teacher reviews to get nice, easygoing professors

Has a photographic memory, so all he really needs are the powerpoints and to check out reference copies of the textbooks from the libraries

Tries to take the same classes as his brothers so he can swipe the textbook for a bit

If his only option is a morning class, he DEFINITELY picks the same one as one of his bros to make sure he gets up and goes

More of a night owl

The one that’s addicted to caffeine, stays up all night, and somehow gets 7 assignments done. Has periods of intense focus then it’s back to not knowing what day it is. He just wants sleep.

Usually seen with Beel or Satan. Tends to show up at events with free food.

Loves finals week when they bring in dogs and pets.

Has wireless earbuds and is always listening to a podcast, Tedtalk, or something soothing

Catnaps through class. Even if he’s woken up from a dead sleep, he can answer whatever snarky question someone asked

Takes advantage of the meditation classes and alternative therapy walk-ins promoted by the Mental Health Clinic. He really likes guided meditation with singing bowls.

[triplethreatsonic]

Triple Threat Drabble: The Stranger

Here it is, the drabble I said I’d share with you guys! I’ve done a sort of hybrid thing with this where there are one or two images integrated into the text that are basically like comic panels. (think Diary of a Wimpy Kid but hopefully more classy.) So make sure you pay attention to them as you read! 

Also, this is a work in progress. So please don’t judge it too harshly :) 

Hope you guys enjoy this! 

___

Sonic was not a slow eater. He hadn't been one as a child, and at age seventeen he certainly wasn't one now. The hedgehog rarely spent more than a few minutes to inhale his food during lunch period. Today was no different— after making quick work of the cafeteria's lasagna, Sonic had pushed his plate aside and was now settled with his left leg comfortably draped on top of his right, one hand fiddling with his shoelace. 

Across the table from him sat his friend, Knuckles the Echidna. Knuckles, who was one of the slowest eaters Sonic had ever seen, still had half his meal on his tray and was gradually picking away at a small bunch of grapes. "Probably." His eyes stayed on his hands as he smiled. "I don't think it'll be too bad, though; I'm looking forward to the history paper."

Sonic smirked. "I bet you are. I wonder what you'll write about this time. Maybe"—he cocked an eyebrow—"the ancient echidnas?"

"How'd you guess?" Knuckles smile widened as he dropped the now-empty grape stem onto his tray. Then he sighed, stretching his shoulders back. "I doubt the library has any new books on the topic, though. Seriously, they need an upgrade."

“Man, you're telling me. The other day, I—!" Sonic's thought was suddenly cut short.  If you had asked him what he'd just been talking about, he probably couldn't have told you. 

"No way..."

Something, or rather someone, had caught his attention— someone on the opposite side of the cafeteria, who had just sat down at a faraway table perpendicular to Sonic's position. 

It was a male hedgehog— that much was obvious. Looking at him, Sonic could make out his dark jeans, white t-shirt, and thin red-and-black striped flannel with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. The stranger sat, seemingly in silence, listening to a white female bat sitting across from him. 

None of this was what made Sonic stare, however; it was his quills.

Their coloring wasn't necessarily unnatural for a hedgehog, but it was certainly unusual. They were black, the top of each quill traced by a long red stripe. Sonic had never seen anything like them. 

Except that he had-- several times. He'd seen them in his dream. 

"Hey, Sonic! You ok?"

Knuckles words yanked Sonic out of his trance and back into the buzzing world of the lunch room. "Wha—? Oh, sorry man. Heh, guess I kinda zoned out for a second."

"What were you staring at?" Knuckles turned in his seat to scan the room behind him. 

"Nothing!" The word flew out of Sonic's mouth much quicker than he would have liked. He quickly brushed it off with a shrug. "I just remembered something I gotta do before lunch is over. I'd better run—see you later, alright?"

Knuckles looked like he didn't quite believe him. "What do you gotta do?"

Sonic’s face smiled as his brain racked for an answer. "Uh, homework. Never ends, am I right?"

Now it was Knuckles turn to smirk. "Heh, right." He picked up his mini milk carton and took a swig. "Well, good luck. I'll see you in fifth."

"Later, Knux!" Sonic grinned and picked up his tray from the table, keeping his movements casual as he made his way to the garbage cans. Behind his calm exterior, however, Sonic's mind was racing. It was a coincidence. It was a weird coincidence. But that's all it could be, right? Just a really weird, off-putting coincidence that meant nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. 

So why was he so antsy all of a sudden? 

Frankly, Sonic didn't even know why he had left Knuckles in such a hurry with that dumb fib about homework. What was he hoping to do? Was he planning to talk to the Weird-Coincidence Guy? 

Well… it wasn't the worst idea. 

Sonic's eyes flicked upwards from his tray; the black-and-red hedgehog was easy to pick out now that he knew he was there. Sonic's hands moved automatically, scraping his plates as he kept his eyes fixed on the stranger. The white bat across from him finished her sentence, waved, and then left, walking out through the cafeteria's main double doors. The black hedgehog watched her leave, a soda can held tightly in his hands. He barely moved at all.  

Sonic dropped his plate unceremoniously into the designated bin. Now that the idea had entered his mind, he couldn’t shake it: he had to talk to him. As nonchalantly as he could, Sonic began weaving around chairs, backpacks and tables, gradually making his way to the strange hedgehog. 

He was practically on top of him now. Sonic stopped walking, the black hedgehog a mere four feet ahead of him. He was facing away, hands still holding that soda can. Without so much as a second thought, Sonic smiled and said the first, most natural thing that came to his mind: “Hey!” 

What happened next was the last thing Sonic had expected. The black hedgehog turned at his voice, saw him, and froze. His face paled and his eyes went wide. Something like an electric shock seemed to go through him, and the can in his hands crunched.  

Brrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiing! The five-minute bell shouted rudely across the cafeteria, startling them both, and they were drowned in a wave of standing students. The black hedgehog was instantly blocked from view as three hundred teenagers, Human and Animal, began gathering their things and preparing to leave for classes. 

“H-hey, wait a sec!” Sonic tried to see past the masses of knees and elbows, but quickly found that to be useless. He wasn’t one to give up easily, however; in seconds, Sonic had jumped onto the nearest table and was craning his neck to see over the sea of heads. Where could that guy have gone so quickly? Suddenly—there! Sonic barely caught sight of striped flannel as its wearer ducked around the corner of an adjacent hallway.

"Hey, dude, wait up!" Sonic was down in a flash. After shoving his way through the crowd he sprinted into the hall just as his target ran left down another. He called after him. "Yo, black hedgehog!" It became a game of cat and mouse as they chased each other down seemingly countless hallways and past endless classrooms. Sonic was fast on the track—the fastest in the state, in fact— but somehow this guy kept eluding him with all his constant turns. 

Sonic finally whipped right around the ten-billionth corner only to come to an abrupt halt— the hallway ended just twenty feet in front of him. Sonic looked over his shoulder, then back at the dead end. He was positive this was the direction the hedgehog had dodged... so where did he go? 

"Hello? Uh, you down here, man?" Sonic slowly walked forward as his question echoed in the empty hall. "I just wanna talk for a second."

Silence. 

Then out of nowhere a blur of movement slammed into Sonic's chest, smashing him against a line of lockers. Sonic's breath was knocked out of him, and it took him a second to realize what had happened: standing there, with his forearm crushing Sonic’s ribs, was the black hedgehog. His eyes were mere inches away from his own. They were a bight crimson— to Sonic's astonishment, the color he expected them to be— with a ferocious, wild expression in them. There was also the depth of something that Sonic couldn’t quite name. 

"Why are you following me?” he demanded. 

Sonic’s hands flew up like a man held at gunpoint. "Woah, dude! Chill! I'm … I'm sorry!” It was still difficult to breathe. "I'm just… I just wanna… wanna talk!"

They stood there locked in place for a moment, both hedgehogs panting. A minute passed, and gradually something seemed to shift in the black hedgehog's eyes. He glanced downward at the arm that pinned Sonic, then back up at the hedgehog's face. Then he backed a few paces, his hands lowering to his sides. 

Sonic pushed himself off the lockers and rubbed his chest. "Wow, you hit hard! You play football or something?" He gave the guy a smile. "Sorry. I probably really weirded you out back there—I said hi, but then the bell rang and you ran off and—"

"And you chased me." The hedgehog's voice was deeper than Sonic's when he spoke, with a sharp edge to it. The guy looked close to graduating— frankly, with his stern face, he barely looked like he belonged in high school at all. His arms moved to cross in front of his chest. "What do you want?" 

"Uh..." Sonics brain suddenly froze. In that moment he realized that beyond his first hello, he hadn't actually thought of what he wanted to say to this guy. "I… I'm not sure. I just wanted to say hi, I guess." 

"Why?"

"Well, um... aw, shoot, this sounds really stupid now." Sonic's smile turned sheepish. "I wanted to talk 'cause… you look kinda familiar?" 

Other than a slight eyebrow raise, the black hedgehog didn’t move. His voice dripped with contempt. "Where on earth would I have met you before?" 

"Heh, funny you should ask." Sonic shoved his thumbs in his pockets. "Uh, how long've you been at the school?"

"Three weeks." 

Sonic did a double take. “Wait— really? Like, it's your first semester? But… you look like a senior." 

"And?" 

"Oh, I dunno... I guess thats just kinda rare, you know? New seniors? I'm a junior, myself." Sonic smiled, but the black hedgehog didn't flinch. He cleared his throat. "Well, anyway… You really do look super familiar to me. It's kinda freaky, actually."

The dark hedgehog's eyes narrowed. "And why would you say that?"

Sonic wasn't sure what reaction he'd been waiting for— maybe a good laugh, if anything— but it certainly wasn't what the black hedgehog was doing now. His shoulders hitched, fingers digging into his forearms. Even more surprising was his face; it had that same haunted look Sonic had glimpsed before— back in the cafeteria, right when the stranger had first seen him. 

And then all at once it was gone, replaced by the earlier scowl. "That's ridiculous.” 

Sonic’s hand dropped down from where it had been resting behind his head. “Um… yeah. Yeah, it is.”

They stood there in a heavy silence. The black hedgehog drummed his fingers against his arm. “Is that all?”  

Sonic stared back at him. “… Yes.” 

The other hedgehog looked at Sonic a moment longer, annoyed expression unchanging. Then with a ‘hmph’, he turned away abruptly, walking back towards the hallway through which they had come. 

Sonic watched him leave. He felt the urge to say something, but nothing came to mind. Well, that was weird. What had he been expecting though, really? The whole reason for him talking to the guy was weird to begin with. It was funny; though Sonic was usually very confident around strangers, this whole conversation— which he himself had initiated— had made even him uncomfortable. 

Sonic began to turn the in the opposite direction to head to his own class— only find himself staring at the dead-end hallway again. Whoops. There was only one other way to go. 

The black hedgehog’s ear perked as footsteps echoed behind him, and he turned his head sharply. Sonic’s hands shot back up in the air again upon being caught. “Sorry, ignore me—my class is this way too.” 

The stranger glared at Sonic a moment, then turned back and kept walking. Sonic waited a second, allowing for some space, then continued on behind. 

There was almost no other sound as the two of them made their way down the hall. Sonic slipped his thumbs back into his pockets, trying not to look at the stranger. Eventually, he let his eyes drift to the back of the hedgehog’s head. What was up with the guy, anyway? He sure was a tough nut to crack— tougher than even Knuckles had been when they’d first met, and that was saying something. This guy refused to be warmed up in any way, shape, or form. Sonic had nothing to work with here, and it left him at a loss. 

Eventually Sonic couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “Hey,” he ventured, “sorry I got on your nerves back there."

If the other hedgehog heard him, he gave no sign of it.

A few more seconds passed. Sonic took a breath. "I probably shouldn’t have bothered you. It was kinda silly to say anything at all, to be honest. I probably wouldn’t’ve, either, if I’d only had the dream once. It's just weird, you know? ‘Cause I don’t even know you, but this guy that looks exactly like you is in the dream every single time, along with that other hedgehog—”  

“I don’t care!” 

Instantly, the black hedgehog was in Sonic’s face. Teeth bared, fangs showing, a threatening finger nearly stabbed Sonic in the eye. “I’m going to say this once, Blue Hedgehog. I don’t care about your dreams. I don’t care if I was in it, or that white hedgehog, or you, or anybody! And I’m tired of hearing about it.” 

They stood there a moment, with Sonic for once in his life standing perfectly still. The black hedgehog’s finger lowered as he growled. “Are we clear?” 

With the finger out of his face, Sonic slowly straightened. Ok, talking more was definitely not going to take any tension out of the air. He opened his mouth to give a simple reply. 

Then something clicked. “Wait... How did you know the hedgehog was white?”

The scowl on the stranger’s face faded slightly, the air seeming to still. “What?” he breathed. 

“The other hedgehog,” said Sonic, "I never mentioned what color his fur was.” Now he leaned forward, studying the stranger. He met his eyes. "How did you know it was white?”

The stranger gave no response. The blood had slowly drained from his face, leaving it ghostly pale as his mouth hung open wordlessly. 

Then suddenly his face clenched, and a hand jerked out to slap Sonic away. “Enough!” 

He dashed off. It took Sonic a second to recover from the unexpected shove. “Wha- Hey, dude, wait!" He sprinted around the corner ahead. "Where are you going—?!"

The black hedgehog was gone. 

Sonic stood staring blankly down the empty hallway.  What the heck? Thoughts swirled around his brain—half of them were questions, and the other half were answers that didn’t make sense. He leaned his left arm against the rough brick wall next to him. 

Had “white” simply been a guess? A stab in the dark? Was that the color everybody thought of when they pictured the average hedgehog? 

Or did he know, too?

Another blaring brrrring! from the bell startled Sonic out of his thoughts. “Aw, shoot.” He was late for chemistry. He took off at a sprint. 

A few minutes later, Sonic would come rushing through his classroom door. He wouldn’t remember that he needed to grab his textbook from his locker until he was already inside. No excuse would be given when when his teacher scolded him, declaring solemnly that being the school’s track star did not justify him arriving late to class. Later, when everyone was paired up for experiments, Tails would ask him where he’d been; cutting it close was normal for Sonic, but arriving seven minutes after the bell was not. Sonic would hesitate a moment. Then he’d give his best friend a smile, ruffling the fur on his head. “It’s not really important,” he’d say, “no worries. Let’s just get these reactions done.” 

Hours later, in dark of his bedroom, Sonic would still be thinking about that black hedgehog. 

[ressyfaerie]

Here I am with another request! Just a sequel for that Vampire Tyka AU, maybe how will go in a night of super moon or just another prompt comes in your mind, I'll let you free!

Sorry it took so long! I’m back at work and still recovering! I’m still finishing up requests!

YES!! A request for a sequel to one of my favourite fics I’ve written DON'T MIND IF I DO!

If you haven’t read the 1st fic you can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30742760

My biggest problem is I have TOO MANY IDEAS!! But I’ll just start writing and see where it goes! Posted under readmore for NSFW!

“We could do it two times a day?”

“No. I won’t do that to you.”

Tyson pouted, “it was only a suggestion… I’m worried since you always look so pale in the afternoon.”

Kai shook his head, “it’s not happening.”

The past few weeks had been the most amazing time of Kai’s life.

Everynight he would feed on Tyson. Tyson loved it—probably more than Kai did.

The feeding, the closeness, and the sex. It was everything Kai ever wanted.

Currently, Kai tasted the remains of the crimson delight as it rolled around his tongue. Tyson laid beside him, naked and running his fingers over Kai’s chest.

When Tyson was in his apartment bedroom, it became his oasis.

Kai smiled at Tyson, his fangs just poked through his parted lips.

“Mmm…” Tyson ran his finger over one of the white teeth, Kai turned his head away.

“Stop…”

“No…” Tyson pushed himself into Kai, kissing him passionately.

Kai loved this, he rocked his saviour’s hips back and forth overtop of him.

He pretended everything was okay.

He had to wake himself up soon—or it could be a disaster.

But watching Tyson sit over him, and seeing the small droplets of blood trickle down his thigh… Made his heart skip a beat.

How could I leave this?

Tyson kissed his neck, then his chest. “I’m glad you started feeding from my thighs instead of my neck… Now people won’t ask weird questions…”

“Me too…” Kai mumbled, but felt a hollow emptiness in his stomach.

He was still hungry.

He was frustrated this kept happening. He would dread everyday waiting until he could taste Tyson. Slowly, each time he grew hungrier.

He would take as much as possible, Tyson begged for me, but he knew when to stop, he couldn’t take more or it could seriously injure him.

Yet he wanted to.

He would stop himself, then worship his lover's body in other ways, it killed him to touch bare skin yet still be starving.

After a shower, they would cuddle, and talk. Kai felt Tyson’s heartbeat, each night growing more intense.

“Kai, I got you something.”

“Hm?”

Tyson handed him a box and he opened it with a confused expression.

Inside looked like a pair of reading glasses.

Kai gave him a quizzical expression, “ever since I turned, my eyesight has been perfect?”

“I know, there’s no prescription.”

“Then... why?”

Tyson picked them up, unfolded them and handed them over, “they’re solar sensitive, when it gets too bright, they change and become darker.”

Kai took them, “wow, really?” He placed them on his face, they felt like regular reading glasses.

“I thought they would be great since you’re… light sensitive.”

Kai stared at his blue haired lover through his new glasses, “God, I love you.”

Tyson’s eyes grew wide.

Kai panicked when he realized what he had said, “Ah… that not what—”

“You love me?”

Tyson’s eyes looked wet, Kai couldn’t lie to him.

“Yeah.”

Tyson threw himself against him, kissing him for the hundredth time that night.

Tyson went home just after midnight. Kai would never let him sleep over. He tried, but Kai knew better. He couldn’t promise Tyson’s safety overnight. Tyson just smiled, saying ‘I trust you’ over and over again.

When will he understand… I can’t trust myself?

Kai awoke hours later.

Hungry.

He turned over to go back to sleep, a habit he had made the past week.

This time it wasn’t going away.

I have to go to the dojo for training tomorrow… If I see Tyson like this… will I be able to hold myself together?

Kai remembered yesterday, he barely made it. When Tyson arrived he had thrown him against the wall yanking his pants off and shoving his fangs into his soft flesh without even saying hello.

Tyson loved it.

Kai felt like it was a blur, he only felt in control of his actions when he got a taste of blood.

That terrified him.

If I was hungrier… What would I have done?

What will I do?

His appetite was growing. Tyson wasn’t safe.

I’m selfish.

Kai tossed and turned.

I won’t sleep until I eat.

He found himself in the kitchen. He had no food here. It didn’t matter anyways. No matter how much food he ate he would feel like he hadn’t eaten anything. Food had no taste, and it certainly wouldn’t satiate his hunger. He had accepted his fate of one meal a day—and that meal was Tyson.

It’s not enough.

He left the apartment. He wandered for ages. The streets turned to bushes until he found himself in a rural area of town.

The road, then a field.

A farm?

The lights were off, and the animals were sleeping.

He slipped into the barn unnoticed.

A normal person couldn’t see in this darkness.

But Kai wasn’t normal.

He could just make out the silhouettes of the sleeping animals, but that’s not how he knew where they were.

He could feel their heartbeats.

Small but loud, littering the barn like gum on pavement.

A few weeks ago the only heartbeat he could detect was Tyson’s. Now, his sensitivity had grown much stronger. Every heartbeat was detectable, even his friends; and when he was in the stadium…

Let's just say it was agony.

In the barn he could feel the pulse of the cows, and the slow beat of the horses, even the small drumming of mice under the floorboards.

The only blood he craved was Tysons.

However, he was painfully aware he would have to find other outlets soon.

Next to him was a wooden fence. It housed an old horse. A clipboard was nailed to one of the posts, he read it.

This horse is getting sent to the slaughter house tomorrow…

The next day, Kai trained with the team after showing up late. He had a decent sleep and hoped his desire for Tyson had dwindled.

He cursed when he discovered it had only grown stronger.

He sat alone on the opposite side of the house looking over the gardens. He let his face fall in his hands. He could feel everyone on the property, but Tyson the most. He felt him branch off from the group, he was approaching Kai.

Tyson slid open the shoji door, he sat beside Kai, “hey.”

Kai raised his face out of his hands, “Hello.”

“Are you alright?” Tyson placed a hand on Kai’s shoulder, but was aggressively shrugged off.

“No.” Kai felt a stabbing pain in his chest when he admitted it.

Tyson snuck both his arms around Kai’s neck, holding him in a tight embrace, “what can I do to help?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you… hungry?” Tyson tilted his head, teasing his silver haired prince in just the right way.

Kai didn’t dare answer that.

Tyson grasped his chin, forcing him to lock eye contact, “you should eat.”

Kai shook his head, “not till tonight.”

Tyson’s body pulsed intensely with the red delicacy Kai would do anything for. He glanced at his neck, the scabs he had made weeks before were still visible.

Kai opened his mouth, his fangs snuck out, he didn’t mean to, the instinct was too powerful.

“Mhm, there they are.” Tyson grasped Kai’s hand, pulling him into another room of the dojo. “Come in here.”

Kai followed, he would go anywhere he went, especially if it meant a reward.

Tyson slid the door closed behind them, they were in a medium sized room Kai didn’t recognize.

“There’s other people around, but we can be quick…” Tyson unbuckled his belt.

His heart raced. Kai could feel his nervousness raise his blood pressure, Kai couldn’t take it.

He could see the small crimson rivers flowing under his bare skin. His arms were the only things exposed, Kai wanted all his clothes removed so he could admire the colour as much as possible.

Kai grasped his hands over his pants, “please stop—you don’t understand—”

“I understand you need to eat, or you’ll die” Tyson’s voice was serious, but stuttered slightly.

“If you keep treating this like a game… You will die.”

Neither of them moved.

Tyson shook his head, “I don’t care—”

Kai raised his voice, “I could kill you, do you understand!?”

Tyson’s heartbeat was stronger than it had ever been, Kai’s hands trembled, he was forcing himself back.

Tyson suddenly planted a long wet kiss on Kai’s lips. Kai accepted it, drinking it like an oasis in a desert, they pulled apart. Tyson’s face showed concern.

“What?” Kai wondered what was wrong with the kiss for him to react with such disgust.

“You taste like metal.”

“Huh?”

“You only taste like that after you’ve had my blood.”

The silence was deafening.

Tyson broke the silence first, “did you?—”

“I found a farm. There is no one else but you—”

“Animals?” Tyson looked revolted.

Kai held his shoulders, “you don’t understand—”

“Did you kill something?”

“No! No, I wouldn’t, you know that…”

Tyson placed a hand along his cheek. His voice was calm, “what do animals taste like?”

“Disgusting.” Kai spat.

The taste still lingered in his mouth, it felt dirty. The faint taste of mud and game lingered on his tongue and he felt he could never get rid of it.

Tyson said the one word Kai had been dreading—

“Why?”

Kai stared into his eyes, and nuzzled his head into Tyson’s hand. The touch was warm, and soft, but rang with the continuous pulse of blood.

“My… my appetite has grown.”

Tyson didn’t flinch, but Kai detected his heart when it raced with anxiety.

Kai closed his eyes briefly, then looked back at Tyson, “I should be more clear… It has been growing constantly. And it won’t stop—I’ve tried.”

“Kai—”

“We can’t keep doing this. I won’t—”

“You need to!”

“Not with you, I refuse to hurt you, and eventually—I will.

“You don’t know that!”

Tyson was bursting with anger and heat. It was like his body was ripening. Kai could taste the sweet red from here, he gulped.

“I give you permission! We can keep doing this until we find a cure—”

“There is no cure.” Kai’s voice vibrated when he tried to keep his anger under control.

“There could be, I just need to do more research—”

“There’s no cure, Tyson!”

Kai pushed Tyson away, crossing his arms, his eyes grew wet when he saw Tyson’s face filled with absolute betrayal.

“We’ve been through this…” Kai went from angry to sad in an instant, “I’m like this forever—there’s no going back.”

“Kai…” Tyson took a few dangerous steps towards him, “you said you loved me.”

“That has nothing to do with this…” Kai begged, “please understand that I do! That’s why I can’t keep doing this to you…”

“I love you too.” To Kai’s surprise, Tyson grew a smile. “That’s why… I need you—”

Tyson had suddenly thrown his forearm against Kai’s mouth.

“—to eat.”

Kai’s body went numb. Normally he would throw Tyson off in an instant, tell him he was crazy, and they would get on with their day.

Not this time.

Kai felt his soft skin run along his teeth, the saliva that formed in his mouth dripped down his lover's tanned arm. He felt something spark inside him… something primal.

Something he couldn’t control.

Red.

All he could taste was blood, all he could see was red, and Tyson’s face, in front of his own.

It took everything in Kai to shake his head and in turn Tyson took his arm away.

There was no more thinking, no more pushing down emotions.

Kai leaped at Tyson, grasping his shoulders and throwing him to the hardwood on his back.

Tyson muffled a scream, Kai grasped his hair tossing his head to the side.

Straddling him, he shoved his head into his neck and bit down with force.

He began to suck, faster and longer than he ever had. He wasn’t savouring anymore—he was devouring.

If Tyson had noticed this, he didn’t show it. He was the worst instigator, he moaned words to keep Kai going.

“Yeah, just like that—finally.”

Tyson lovingly ran his hand through Kai’s silver hair.

“Good boy.”

Slowly, Kai was coming to his senses, the blood kept flowing, and his vision became clear.

He knew this.

But he didn’t stop.

“Kai? You need to move from my neck, you’ll leave bruises—”

Kai bit down harder.

“Ah! Mm!” Tyson felt Kai’s fangs dig deeper than they ever had before.

It tasted better than it ever had before.

Kai was positive feasting on the animals the night before should have decreased his appetite.

He was wrong.

So wrong.

He felt his pupils roll back as his body sank into pure pleasure.

Underneath his body he felt Tyson tense.

“Kai? Take it easy…”

I need to pull away.

“Kai, I don’t feel… so good.”

Pull away!

Tyson didn’t fight, he didn’t scream, his body just went limp.

When it happened Kai felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

Get off him!

Kai’s jaw popped under the pressure it took to remove it. He pushed himself away from Tyson. He saw his limp body underneath him, and began to panic.

“Tyson!”

Kai shook his shoulders.

“Tyson! Wake up, get up!”

Kai ran his shaking hand over his cheek.

“I’m so sorry, please don’t be dead please, please—please.”

Kai felt the tears roll down his face as he let out faint painful sobs.

“Mmff…”

Kai heard the murmur escape Tysons lips.

“Tyson!”

Tyson grimaced as he lazily turned his head in Kai’s direction.

Kai gasped, “oh, thank god…”

Tyson opened his eyes halfway, “I think you did a bit too much…”

Kai shook his head, “I’m so fucking sorry—”

“It’s my fault—”

“How is this your fault!?”

“I haven’t eaten anything today…”

Kai crawled off Tyson, he felt how weak his legs were.

Tyson tried to sit up.

“Woah! Careful…” Kai had his hand on his back keeping him stable. He cursed himself, he shouldn’t even be touching him.

“It’s fine Kai—I’m fine!”

Kai stared into his eyes, Tyson stared back.

Kai took a deep breath, “next time, we won’t be so lucky.”

“We will find a cure by then.”

“How many times do I have to tell you! There is no cure!”

Kai shouted as loud as possible trying to get it into Tyson’s thick head. He pushed himself to his feet, he looked down on Tyson.

Tyson was shocked into silence.

“If there is a cure, I’ll find it on my own.”

“We need to work together.”

“I can’t be around you!”

Kai threw his hands in the air in defeat.

“I’m leaving.”

“Like hell you are!”

Kai nodded, his mind was made up.

“I’m going to Europe, where this all began.”

Tyson protested, “No—”

“I am. I’m going to find the person who did this to me. I’ll find out if a cure even exists.”

Tyson shook his head as tears welled in his eyes.

“If you find a cure… will you come back?”

Kai swallowed nervously, “yes.”

“No matter how long it takes, right?”

Kai nodded. He took a deep breath and said the words Tyson would never forget.

“I love you. I want to be with you. Very few things could hold me back—I hope you know how hard this decision is for me—”

“It’s hard for me too.” Tears rolled down Tyson’s cheeks.

Kai backed up, slowly making his way to the door.

Kai took one last, long look at Tyson. Making a mental note of every hair, every crevice, every colour.

“I love you so much, Kai.”

Kai closed his eyes and hung his head low.

He raised his head, opening his eyes, feeling the dampness of his own cheeks.

“I love you too.”

He quickly turned, threw open the door, and sprinted through the gardens. Wiping his face with his sleeve so he could see. He felt his stomach turn and he felt sick.

He didn’t dare look back.

----

I have SO many ideas for a chapter 3 and an ending! If there’s a demand I might just write it? :O

[stringing-words-onto-a-chain]

Vampire!Ash AU (NOT SEXUAL)

I found a few different fan arts of vampire Ash recently, and I decided to write some. Yes, I fell into the “uncontrollable thirst” trap, but I’m a sucker for angst where the perpetrator can’t be blamed. Also there are like a bazillion different ways to tag this ship, so I just wrote   A L L   O F   T H E M.

Sal POV:

As Sal ate, his eyes wandered over to Ash, and he frowned, setting down his food and lowering his mask. She was shifting in her seat, licking her lips, and her emerald eyes were darting all over the street. While he watched, the whites of her eyes flickered briefly to a soul-piercing coal black, and back again. His movement drew her gaze for a split second, and she tensed as her eyes fell on his wrist, pausing momentarily before she shook herself.

“Hey, Ash?”

She finally met his eyes, still turning her head towards the slightest sounds around them.

“Yeah?”

“Is… something wrong?”

Ash tried for her signature smirk, but her fang caught the top of her lip in a way that reminded Sal of Larry’s nervous habit. 

“No, no, I’m alright.”

He raised an eyebrow behind his mask.

“Don’t lie to me, Ash. I may not have super senses or anything, but I can tell when something’s bothering my best friends. So get talking.”

“I -” she began, then sighed deeply, dropping her head. When she looked up again, her eyes were black once more, the green smouldering like an ethereal flame. “Sal, can you possibly do me a huge favour?”

His eyes narrowed in concern, and he swung round to face her, straddling the bench.

“Of course, you can ask me anything.”

Ash glanced round the room. Her unsettledness was beginning to unnerve him; it wasn’t like her at all.

“Okay, so usually I don’t drink from people. You know that. But it is better than most other blood - more fulfilling.”

“I’m not sure I like where this is going…”

She laughed, but there was something off about it. Sal couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but his hand crept to the cross Ash had insisted all of them carry in case of an “accident”.

“Sorry, Sally. But anyway, I didn’t have time to drink bottled animal blood this morning, and I… wait, I never told you what happens if I don’t drink enough, did I?”

“I don’t think I wanna know.”

“No, you definitely don’t. Point is, I don’t drink, your friend Ash disappears, and something much more aggressive comes out instead.”

His fingers curled around the cross behind his back, slowly drawing it from his pocket. Ash’s eyes fell on his hand knowingly, and she smiled sadly.

“Don’t worry, it’s not desperate yet. I’m still me - for now.” He slipped the cross back in his pocket with an exaggerated sigh of relief, but he kept on alert, his hand still on it, just in case. “Now, I could, theoretically, go hunt some animals in bat form, but that will drain me quicker, and considering we’re in a relatively clean and busy town, if I can’t find anything…”

Sal laid his other hand consolingly on her shoulder, and almost immediately regretted his decision as Ash’s eyes fell hungrily on his wrist again. He settled for leaning forward and speaking softly, gently removing his hand.

“What can I do to help?”

“Well, as I see it, I have two options.” Ash’s eyes bored into him, not having changed back. “I can go bat-form and pray to… I don’t know, Satan or something, that I can find something in time, or…” She looked at him meaningfully, and he understood exactly what she meant.

“Or you can drink from me.”

“I swear I won’t take enough to kill you, or turn you, or even knock you out, and I will only do it if you let me. I’d never hurt you if you didn't tell me it was okay.”

Sal considered, weighing up how much she needed it with how much he trusted her.

“Alright.”

Her unnatural eyes widened.

“Really?”

“Yeah. You’re clearly struggling to not… go psycho, or whatever it is that happens. I’m here, and you won’t actually damage me at all, so why not? Heck, I’ve probably gone through more painful operations.”

She threw her arms around him tightly.

“Holy crap, Sally Face, you’re the best!”

A slow smile spread across his face, and he returned the hug, letting his already unbuckled mask fall into his lap. She pulled back for a second, looking pleased at the visibility of his face, and running a hand through her hair.

“There’s one more thing I can do to make it easier for you.”

“Which is?”

Her eyes shifted sideways, and she smirked bashfully.

“One of my weird-ass powers is… sort of like hypnotism. I can’t control you or anything, but I can put you in a trance. If I do that, you won’t feel a thing while I drink. Otherwise, it’s gonna hurt. But again, I won’t do it unless you let me.”

“That’s probably a good idea. Thanks, I guess.”

“No, thank you. You didn’t have to do this.” She stopped, tilting her head to examine him. “Seriously, you don’t have to do this. I’m not sure what you think it’s gonna be like, but Hollywood lied to you. This would normally hurt like hell, and it’s blood, so it’s sticky, and messy, and gross, and… yeah. Just generally not fun.”

“I know.” Sal leaned forward again, knowing exactly how dangerous it was, but this time not caring. “I trust you. I don’t think you’ll hurt me.”

“I won’t. I mean, I will, I’m literally about to, but I won’t do any major damage, and I’ll do my best to minimize the pain. Ready?”

He tugged down the front of his jumper quickly, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and shifting to face Ash.

“Yeah. See you in a minute?”

“Maybe a few.”

Ash POV:

“Maybe a few.”

She closed her eyes, focusing hard on the tiny pinprick of power inside her. It wasn’t much, vampires were an extremely diluted type of magic, but it was enough for this. She let her eyes slide open again, throbbing with her will, and met Sal’s eyes. She could feel him instinctively resisting the pull, trying to keep his head clear.

“Don’t fight it, Sally, you agreed to this. Remember?”

He smiled. Honestly surprising he could hold out this long.

“Is this the part where you tell me to stare into your eyes and just relax?”

She snorted.

“Pretty much. Kinda shocked you’re still lucid enough to make that joke.”

“Yeah, it’s not going to last. You do know how to wake me up, right?”

She just smirked, leaving herself the last laugh as Sal’s joking eyes widened in nervousness for a split second before they glazed over, and his expression became completely neutral. The smile faded off her face, and she looked over her statue-still friend remorsefully. She stuck a hand in front of his face and waved, but there was no acknowledgement. He was utterly bewitched.

“Sorry, Sal.”

She made to grab his wrist, then stopped. She looked up at his blank, scarred face, then gently rose up on one knee, kissing his forehead tenderly.

“You really are incredible”, she told him, but she knew he didn’t hear.

Sal POV:

“Sally?”

A voice cut through the haze surrounding him, and for a split second of clarity, he realized his mind had been completely shut down, not registering anything at all.

“Sal.”

Such a beautiful voice. Silvery, flowing, and gorgeous, like ribbon.

“Come on, Sally Face, you’re stronger than this.”

Familiar? 

“Goddamn it, Sal, snap out of it.”

The voice was almost pitying, but there was a soft edge to it, and it sounded like it was holding back laughter. 

No, not it. Her. 

Green eyes settled into focus in front of his own listless pair. The rest of her face spiralled into his vision as well, and the pieces of her slowly connected, becoming more and more familiar. Like an old friend.

Ash.

  All at once, everything sharpened, and Sal’s hand flew up to his head, an abrupt awareness of his rebooting mind. As he did, he registered a dull pain somewhere on his body, where she must have bitten him, but he wasn’t quite conscious enough to pinpoint exactly where it was coming from. The memory of what he’d just thought about her voice sprung up on him, and, realizing the mask was no longer in place to hide his blush, he decided to dismiss it as a result of the enchantment.

“Hey, sleeping beauty. You in there?” asked Ash teasingly, but there was something heavier behind her words, something a little too sober to be good. 

“I… I think so. Your weird power thingy really did a number on me, but I’m just a little groggy.” He let his hand fall back in his lap, bumping against his discarded mask as he did, and gave her a tired smile. Now he was actually himself again, he noticed a roll of gauze and a clinical looking spray on the table next to them, and he glanced up at Ash. Her eyes were back to their normal human-passing appearance, and there was a subtle smudge of red at the corner of her mouth.

“I figured it was best to keep you under while I cleaned up the bite. Antiseptic spray is a little bitch.”

He smiled at that, but it dropped off his face at the thought of what she’d had to do. Absently, he put a hand up to his neck, feeling for the bite mark, and frowned.

“Where’s the -”

“The whole thing about vampires and necks is mostly a myth,” Ash replied, the weight behind her words still prominent. “Check your other pulse points.”

A vague dread began to settle over him, and hesitantly he looked down at his hands. Gauze was poking out from his sleeve, and upon seeing it, he instantly knew exactly what was wrong. He pulled his jumper back to reveal two twin holes bound under the fabric bandages, where she’d drank, then pulled the thick cotton back further. The neat gashes lined up across his arm were bound as well. A quick tap on his other arm told him the marks there were treated too. Shame washed over him, and trying to meet Ash’s eyes was like fighting a brick wall with his non-existent powers of telekinesis. Her hand slid under his chin, cold from the wind like one of the undead bloodsuckers he’d seen in movies, and brought his face up level to hers.

“Sally…”

“What can I say to pass this off as not a big deal?”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Ash curled back her lips, revealing her gleaming fangs, and her brow furrowed, her eyes earnest in their utter horror, before she dropped her head, letting out a long, slow breath.

“Listen, Sal, I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself. I don’t know what could have driven someone like you to pick up a blade and… I just don’t. But I also know I can’t stop you. It’s an addictive habit, I know, and you’ll find a way to do it if you’ve made up your mind that’s what you’re gonna do.” He finally turned towards her, needing to see her expression clearly. It was pointless, though, as she’d looked away, hiding her face. “Knowing how deep your self-hatred goes, I don’t think I can convince you to stop. And vampire hypno powers only go so far. But please, I am begging you, stay relatively safe while you do it. I can’t lose you.” She met his gaze, desperation lining her body as she leaned towards him, cupping his face. “At least get yourself some fucking bandages.”

“I’m sorry.” The hoarseness of Sal’s voice caught him by just as much surprise as the hot tears that spilled over his lids out of nowhere. Ash’s face softened, and she leaned still further forward, her hands bunching up the back of the jumper as she pulled him in for a hug. He squeezed his eyes shut, the tears forcing themselves out, and tucked his head against her shoulder. 

“You should be apologizing to yourself, but I’m not delusional enough to think that’s gonna happen.” She stroked his hair understandingly, the feeling registering through the despairing numbness. “I know I literally just had you under a spell, which I did to give me an opportunity to take some of your blood, but… I genuinely don’t want you getting hurt.” Her grip tightened, and she rested her chin on his head. “I love you, Sally Face. You know that. And if you won’t take self-preservation as a reason to stop, maybe you’ll take the three of us needing you as one. We need you, Sal.”

“Thank you…” he mumbled, clutching at his mask. Ash seemed to understand; she gently pulled back, watching him buckle on the mask sadly. He paused, feeling her gaze still on him, and looked up. “I mean it, Ash. I love you too, and that… really helped.”

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Three Caballeros Moments: Ride of the Three Caballeros Epilogue!

Salduos Amigos...and Adios, as this is the FINAL part of my 20 part look at those happy amigos, those snappy chappies in matching serapes, those birds of the feather, THE THREE CABALLEROS, THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABALLEROS! Yes after 19 other articles, all paid for by megafan and patron of the blog @weirdkev27​, it’s time to bid our boys a fond farewell.  And what a ride i’ts been... we’ve had trips to Bahia, animaton sequences requiring a LOT of 1940′s cocaine ,Jose reinacting the plot of “Come a LIttle Bit Closer” by jay and the americans but ironcially not in the Badman Jose roll,, a less happy reunion where Donald went full vanilla ice for a few moments, Panchito giving us his long and storied family history in song form, Donald needing a vacation after his girlfriend punched him in the face and instead getting eaten by a giant snake, FLAMENCO MASTER HORACE HORSECOLLAR, Soccer with super cars, and our heroes having a warm and fun reunion and having to admit their lives didn’t turn out so good while Dewey jacaksses around in the subplot.

 And all of this lead into their very own series where our heroes met a goddess and wayne knight all in the same day, defeated THE MIGHTY MINOTAUR, got into a giant robot fight on the fucking moon, meeting the roman gods who live on and tend to the norse world tree for some reason, preventing a stupidly started lava apocalypse, going to goblin jail via song, meeting some literal dead presidents, chasing a bear around a fancy rich people town, getting into the ch-ch-chalk zone, fighting a wrestling match against the respresntive of the god of death, dying and coming back to life as a result of said wrestling match, going to camelot to train with king arthrus’ self helf book, going to a yeti spa and finally returning for one last battle with an evil wizard, his pet monkeybatdonkeyrat, and wayne knight, and have to put up with Donald’s shrill abusive ex girlfriend through about half of it. All in all good stuff and i’ll always be greatful for kevn funding this and giving me the chance to both finally watch legend and in general cover these wonderful characters. While i’m sure Panchito and Jose wil lbe back for the big finale of Ducktales, I’m gonna miss these guys and hope they get another shot at the big time one day. 

But Kevin had a great idea, one I decided to do for free since this thing cost 100 dollars together as it was a movie, and 20 episodes of television, so it was a LOT to do.  Fun but a lot of work. A top 12 list of the best moments from across the works covered for this retrospective. From the movie to the series, these are the best of the best moments of the best boys around. So without further adeu join me under the cut as I throw one hell of an after party for one hell of a ride.

12. The Cold Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros (Movie) )

This one is low because it doesn’t exactly involve the boys at all as this was a short in their movie. But what can I say, I love penguins, especially Opus.

And the charming tale of a pengy named Pablo who has trouble with the cold and wants to head off for warmer climates just never ceases to entertain me. It’s adorable, pretty funny and just a nice little start to the film every time I watch it. Especially his friends with the sleepy, depressed eyebrows. Really relate to them, especially the tall one with a ponch, aka me as a penguin.  Not much else to say hence why it’s so low, but I really enjoyed this short and can’t help but put Pablo on the list.. and wish he’d gotten a nod in Legend, but then again given we weren’t given a second season they were probably just saving him. 

11. Charon’s Fabulous Cruise (Legend of the Three Caballeros) Another Cabs free entry but I Just love this concept: Charon, ferryman of the river sticks.. deciding since he’s not getting as many customers to turn it into a cruise ship complete with add. IT’s low both because it dosen’t involve the boys and it dosen’t take up much of it’s episode.. but damn if it ain’t funny. And Jim Cummings just brings his all to it.. granted HE always does, the man’s a legend for a reason, but dosne’t make his performance any less lovely. WIsh we got a second season just so we could see this guy again among other reasons. 

10. You Don’t Get a Vacation You Take it (Legend of the Three Caballeros)  Wayne Knight as Sheldgoose.. was easily one of the best parts of Legend of the Three Caballeros. While the show itself was fairly high quality it’s other main villain Feldrake eventually fell into just calling Sheldgoose a moron and hitting him as his only character. IN contrast while at first apperance Sheldgoose was just a rich asshole with hair that looks like a bad toupe but apparently is his actual hair and what he choose to go with and a hell of a moustache.. and while that’s all true, he’s also cunning and manipultive, often making Feldrake’s plans work simply by using clever manipulations. He’s funny, enaging and the sadest part of no second season is not getting more of this guy. Hopefully he’ll show up in another.. even the comics using him without Wayne Knight’s Dulect Tones would be nice. He’s a good villian and would fit just as well in the classic comics being either a snooty nuisance to donald in some way, or being a rival fro scrooge, also being rich but his family having earned it by stealing from others.  But for now what we got ain’t bad and hte best example of just what sheldgoose is capable of is also his first bit of contirbuting more than as a set of hands for feldrake, phrasing. His vilian song. Yes Wayne Knight FINALLY gets a villian song. Your very welcome. 

The song is just fun, a Luau type song with a sinster undercurrent and wayne knight just having a hell of a time, alternating between speaking and singing> It’s low on this list because i’ts an OKAY song, i’ve seen better villian songs, I just really liked this one, and because it dosen’t exactly involved the boys, but I still hold to my convictions in putting this one on here.

9. Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González (House of Mouse) Only House of Mouse entry, and suprisingly it’s not Donald squeaking “And i’m donald duck!” , which has been burned into my brain for a few decades. No it’s the groups OTHER song in there second apperance on the show Not So Goofy, sung by the incomprable Rob Pauslen. While I sitll think he was easily the worst Jose of the bunch, and that the roll never should’ve been given to a white man to begin with, credit where it’s do: he wasn’t a have bad panchito. He only voiced everyone’s faviorite rooster, suck it Foghorn Leghorn, once, for a song, likely to capatalize on the fact Paulsen was famed for Yakko’s World and other songs where he sang a lot at once, but boy did he make a meal of it. Observe.

The song is lightly hampered by the fact it also uses his version of Jose which is probably the worst work i’ve heard from Rob. And given it’s the only roll i’ve heard of his that wasn’t very good and he’s still VERY CLEARLY trying his best, that says a lot to the guy’s quality. And im not saying all this to avoid backlash, I stand by what I say and how I say it.. i’m saying it because I truly love and respect the guy this just was not his best work. This song however is Rob on full blast, using his ablitlity to talk fast no matter the voice to give us one heck of a lively performance and name for Panchito, one that was reused for Ride of the Three Cabs though sadly minus the song, as I would’ve LOVED to hear Jamie Camill belt this one out. But the lively animation and liveleir performance earn this one a spot.

8. Baia, Donald (The Three Caballeros) For this one i’m squishing three different but related parts of the movie together: The “Have you been to Baia, Donald” song, the train trip there and the awesome musical number at the end. But all three flow together as one great sequence with the frist two serviing as a fun prelude for a fun sequence as Donald and Jose try to woo a lady named Yaya, played by Aurora Miranda, and get into a big and fun dance number that for the time is AMAZINGLY blended with the live action work. The song is an utter ear worm, the seqeunce is fun and it lacks some of the creepiness Donald’s later session of flirting had and the colors are vibrant as hell. Wonderful, beautiful stuff. It’s really hard to talk about as not a lot happens in it other than a fun bit of song and dance.. but sometimes tha’ts just waht you need: a bunch of actors, two of which were animated, moving and groving to a heckuva beat. 

7. I Love You Guys (Legend of the Three Caballeros)  This was just a very sweet moment but one I treasure. The Cabs beat a giant horrifying rage beast.. by genuinely apoologizing to donald, telling him they love him then having a group hug. After a full episode before this of them just kinda ignoring what he cared about, Xandra and the boys genuine apologies and Donald genuinely telling them “I love you guys” and realizing for the first time in his life he’s genuinely loved and appricated. It just feels so fucking nice. Shame they didn’t you know.. end the Daisy plot with him realizing he dind’t need or or that he wasn’t angsiting over a selfish goldigger in the first place but hey, you take what you can get sometimes and the getting is good here. 

6. The Cabs Song .. in Comic Form! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again!) 

Another fairly quick one to talk about but one’s that damn impressive. The Three Cabs ride again is a wonderful story that reunites our birds of a feather for an adventure in mexico.. and one of it’s two best moments, the other one way further up from Don Rosa’s classic, seriously check it out it’s good, is when the boys, to distract their enemy for the story, play their classic song.  Musical numbers.. are hard to pull off in comics. As Linkara, comic critic and one of my inspirations check him out on youtube he’s really fantastic, has mentioned quite a bit not having the sound to go with it is an uphill battle. But i’m not as against this as he is.. as long as you can convey the ENERGY of said song and perofrmance in the page. As long as you got that, you can pull it off and boy oh boy oh boy did Rosa ever. While it’s only about a page and a half long it’s just a fun, wonderful litlte sequence, from the crowd that has no reaction til lthe end when our big bad clubs them with the guitar, to our heroes swipining tablecoths to seve as serape to Donald falling outside, it’s one of the highlights of an alreayd impressive story. 

5. Jam Session (Ducktales, The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!) 

Only one Ducktales moment but it’s a keeper to be sure and now I HAVE seen Legend... I can say as I did there Jamie Camil REALLY shoudlv’e been kept as Panchito but “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice”.. really was still ag reat version of the characters and still kept them true. It wasn’t AS good as the Legend versions.. but honestly that’s fine. Not every version HAS to be good as the others and they were still wella cted, wonderfully animated and the story was great. And the moment that shows it off best is the boys quite moment after lunch, where they remincse, have fun, think about old times.. then hear a radio and slowly but surely have a fun dance number together, playing like old times. It’s this moment that makes me REALLY question why people hated this so much, as this one tiny moment captures the cabs chemistry and comrander in just two short minutes, Donald getting angry, Jose defusing int with a dance then him joining in, the three just jamming iwth whatever’s on hand and jose magically playing the fluit with his umbrella. I’ts all just so charming I love it. The end version of the three cabs IS really awesome, it just didn’t make the cut. Still liked it though.. but this.. this is better. Sometimes less is more you know?

4. The Three Cablleros Song (The Three Caballeros (Movie) ) Look you knew this was coming, I knew this was coming, we all knew this was coming. But the song is no less awesome, with fluid animation, wonderful vocals and lyrics, and an unberably catchy tune. It’s iconic to the characters, having popped up in four different renditions during this retrsopective, all of them pretty damn good, but no one tops the original.  Even the two more dated bits, some latin baby and Panchito having a gun solo, somehow don’t hamper what’s otherwise an iconic moment. It’s fun, it’s fancy free, and it establishes the boys dynamic perfectly, one that as we’ve seen would last a few lifetimes and probably will last forever. 

3. We Say So! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again) While Ride again is a VERY good story, it’s best moment is ironiclaly it’s end despite leaving you wanting more and more. After a fun adventure and a laugh over it being for nothing really, our friends return to Jose’s job at a night club, which his manager, who understandably has issues with Jose choosing wooing ladies over actually doing his job sometimes, only gives him back because it’s a big night but needs a big act. The first touching moment here is the fact the boys pitch in without being asked because hteir friend needs them. But the real moment is what happens after: The Triplets return from the hotel, still bemoaning as they did ealrier in the story that Donald has no friends and assume when they see him on stage and see him crash off it that he incited a riot.. only for his friends to assure him he’s a very fine fellow and they say so.. and in an instnat the boys realize donald DOES have friends.. and the best friends a duck can ask for. And after a lifetime of being spat on and barely winning.. Donald gets an unquestioned victory, stnading proudly with his friends for a packed house who still want more while his nephews look on proudly. I say so.. and what I say is that this moment is one of Rosa’s finest and one of the most touching thigns the man’s ever written. 

2. This is Just Where I Came In (The Legend of the Three Caballeros) The Legend of the Three Cabs was excellent and it ended on one hell of a high. After a heck of a fight via callbacks that barely didnt’ make the list, our heroes rush in to stop Feldrake. their sorcerer nemisis,  from reviving.. only for it to be too late. He’s back in full and soon warps reality around him leaving the boys hometown of the New Quackmore insitute as a series of rubble, buildings and people clinging desperatly to both floating in a hell of a starry backdrop, the only chance to stop this from happenign to the world resting in our heroes. And it’s so we catch up with where the seires began: our three heros decked out in truly awesome armor, though why Panchtio’s is roman I have no idea, fighting a giant and mosnterious felldrake and while his deisgn in that form is eh, his threat is palpable and the fight is goregous and pitch perfect.. and only gets better when we catch up, as Xandra swoops in to save htem from the cliffhanger the series started with. It only isn’t up top because of tow reasons; I like the first moment better.. and the boys do fall in a magic pool of amulet juice and emerge with powers due to a character we just meet when they do so. It’s a bit of a cop out.. but even with it being a cop out and a dues ex machina of the HIGHEST order.. it dosen’t stop it form being awesome when our heroes emerge merged with thier amulets energies, in their signutre colors and whoop felldrakes ass with a revivied Xandra’s help and then nearly reseal feldrake before his being resealed, but in Sheldgoose, resotres everything and our heroes get a WELL earned bout of praise from the town and a fancy mansion and in donald’s case a new job. A specatuclar, tense and gorgeous finale to a wonderful series. 

1. Ride Em, Vaquero! (The Magificent 7 (Minus 4) Caballeros)  Look I know it sounds like a bit of a downgrade to go from a battle for the fate of the world to our heroes fighting a spoiled prince and a giant anaconda just to make it out alive.. but frankly this battle is more tense, has all boys showing off even better, and has a climax so awesome even saving the unvierse with suddenly gained magic powers can’t top it.  For the setting our heroes end up trapped in a lost city with the bad guy of the comic, Don Rosa’s second to last and his second of only two cabs stories, prepared to get away. But then Donald snaps, spurred on bya ll the shit he had to put up with back home,and TACKLES the fucking guy in his boat getting into one hell of a scrap. And if that wasn’t enough, what brings this to true glory is a giant Anaconda who shoed up earlier, popping up.. leading to Donald fighting our big bad.. WHILE BEING TANGLED UP IN A FUCKING PYTHON. 

What truly clinches this as the best of the best for me though is Jose and Panchito’s actions, with Jose fighting the guy off off donlad, and actually having his umbrella WORK this time, and while the bad guy gets the raft from our heroes.. he falls off a cliff. So how do our heroes escape.. simple .. PANCHITO LASSOS THE FLEEING SNAKE AND THEY RIDE IT OUT AS SEEN ABOVE THROUGH A POND FULL OF DANGEROUS CREATURES WHO ALL STARE IN AWE AT THE SIGHT OR FLEE.  You.. you just can’t top that. The awesomness, the teamwork, the sheer balls on panchito..i t’s all just so beauitful and sums up what the boys are about: Deft teamwork, camradire.. and doing utterly insane shit as only best friends can. 

So with that.. this ride has come to an end. As I said before and will say again, it’s been fun, easily the biggest project i’ve done so far, and easily one of my faviorites. I love these guys and geninely hope we see them again real soon. So before I go, i’d like to say some thank yous. I”d like to thank ALL of the talented people involved in the making of the original film, as there are way too many to mention as it was a package movie but without you lovely and mostly deceased people we’d never have these wonderful guys. I’d like to thank Don Rosa for bringing the boys back and better than ever and beautifully so AND returning to them again. I’d like to thank Henry Gilroy and Phil Walsh, who wrote the first and second house of mouse cabs episodes for bringing the boys back to the screen, as well as series creators Robert Gainway and Tony Craig and the MASSIVE pile of storyboarders for both episode.  I’d like to thank the people behind mickey and the roadster racers, while your episodes were not very good I am glad the boys got more screentime, i’d like thank Frank Angrones and Matt Youngberg for their wonderful versions of the boys and total respect to their legacy, and i’d REALLY like to thank Matt Danner for giving us a wonderful series and finally giving the boys a starring roll again. 

I’d also like to thank the MANY voice actors who voiced these wonderful characters, your beautiful all of you. To Donald’s voice actors for this retrospective i’d like to thank Clarence Nash, you absolute legend may you rest in peace, Tony Anselmo, may you keep on living please god we’ve lost a lot of good people lately don’t be one of them, and even Daniel Ross, who might not be the best Donald but he’s one of only five and you can’t take that way from him. 

For Jose i’d like to thank Jose Olivara, without you I don’t think we would’ve even gotten to the Cablleros as a group, Rob Paulsen, you tried your best and your still a winner in my heart, Eric Bauza, you genuinely were the best, and Bernardo Del Paula, who gave Bauza a run for his money and I hope returns in the role in the future. 

And finally for Panchito we have Joaquin Grey, again wouldn’t of had the rest without you man nice job, Carlos Alarzqaui, did the job and did it well, Rob Paulsen, gave us one hell of a song, Jamie Camill, the best around no one’s ever going to keep him down, Arturo Del Purto who while I prefer jamie.. still was excellent and I wouldn’t be mad if he returned again. 

And last but not least I’d like to sincerly thank @weirdkev27​. These reviews have GENUINELY helped me finacially since i’ts hard for me to find a job since I cannot drive and have a disablity, and thanks to htem i’ve been able to live comfortably and thanks to you in general i’ve been able to do what I love and get paid for it. You got me to do this wonderful restrospective, have been a genine support to the blog and a treasure to work with. Thanks man, your the best.  So with that, it’s time to ride off into the sunset. If the cabs get another apperance outside of ducktales, I will pick this up again... and wether it’s in a year or ten you bet your bottom peso they’ll be back. Who says so? I says so. 

[miraculouscontent]

Askplosion #11:

(note that I know I mentioned a “Voiced Askplosion” last time in the tags for anyone who put a 🎤 in their ask, meaning they wanted to hear me respond verbally to it, but I only got one and it wasn’t anything serious - just a tease from someone I know - so I either won’t be doing it at all or will be holding off)

Asks responding to previous posts:

ALYA NO!!!

(the idea of Sabrina avoiding not only Ms. Mendeleiev, but also Alya, is very amusing to me)

The fact that the special focuses on the love square instead of Sabrina and Delmar is a crime.

(also note that “Need some help?” is rhetorical in this context; Alya doesn’t care)

Highly recommended, honestly, otherwise it just turns into a big shame because there are shows I really like but with some content that I don’t like, and why torture myself with it when I can cut it out instead?

Just to give a rough idea, here’s my cut of “Desperada”; mind you, this is just my quick cut of it (basically a “beta” version where I just removed everything I disliked without much care for transitioning/having everything make sense; some of Marinette’s friends talking, the guitar scene, Aspik, etcetera), as I’m not comfortable handing over my “perfect” cut of it since it’s like my personal copy.

Yeah, that’s a super awkward scene. As much as I’d like to imagine that Adrien just doesn’t understand the “guy time” thing (which I still hate), the fact that they use the word “guy” specifically is--ugh.

I wasn’t aware of what he said in the French dub, so thanks! It’s really painful to see her throw so much love his way, openly and publicly and obviously, then be so humiliated for it, only for Adrien to feel nothing for her.

Say whatever you want about Chat Noir’s advances and how sAAAAAAD he is when she rejects him, but her rejections are just that; in private. There aren’t other heroes who are around and Chat is never really humiliated. Even in “Prime Queen,” Chat wasn’t the target - Ladybug was, and then Ladybug shifted it to Nadja - so Marinette is the one taking all the heat in love while Chat gets to sit on the sidelines (plus, then “Oblivio” happened and now people probably all thing they’re a thing).

Yeah! That’s the group I was thinking of!

Thank you!

I’m so sorry that happened. ;—;

I’m not aro but I am ace and I’ve gotten the whole, “oh it’s just because--” stuff before, so I know what it feels like to have people put on the pressure/invalidate you.

YES.

IT’S GORGEOUS.

I’m not really familiar with how holidays are celebrated outside of the bare basics of Christmas/New Year (which I am trying my hardest to forget lol), so I couldn’t say.

Sorry!

New Asks:

10/10 thought, would fantasize again.

Though would also accept MC Audrey just doing some “spring cleaning” of the whole staff in general. I have no idea how she’d replace Jeremy since he’s the company’s poster boy but most of the writers have to go at the very least and Jeremy should be given less power.

I think MC Audrey would appreciate how Kagami carries herself, though potential bonus if - while Tom and Sabine just openly trust whatever Marinette wants - Audrey does a bunch of digging to make sure Kagami is “worthy” of being with Marinette (she takes this all very seriously).

Double potential bonus if Kagami takes it just as seriously, so here’s Audrey and Kagami acting as if Kagami dating Marinette is like some sort of job interview.

Kagami handing over a “resume” of her accomplishments to Audrey. Audrey has already looked all of it up herself but appreciates the effort put in.

If the question in Miraculous is, “Do we really need a--” and the thing being introduced is something the staff came up with then the answer is usually “no.”

The movie will look pretty and that’s all I’ll expect. It’s just Jeremy’s take on Miraculous. Luka and Kagami probably won’t even be around so I’m not even interested.

I’ll watch it, but I’m also not interested lol.

Honestly, I’d rather turn into bubble froth.

oddly specific but... I mean, damn

I have no idea, and I try not to throw around words like “spite ship” because I know people could genuinely like the ship, though I will say that I went on AO3 and - unless I read from - the first Maribat fanfiction on there was posted after the airdate of “Chameleon.” I think it might’ve started with inspiration from “Marinette moves schools” ideas at the very least.

Non-Miraculous Asks responding to previous posts:

Oh, I understood, no worries! It was just funny for the split second it took me to figure it out.

My bad, that’s not how I meant to come off (especially since “magical girl shows” is a little broad; I mean, obviously I don’t think something like Cardcaptor Sakura is aiming for fanservice when Sakura’s--like... ten). I answered all those asks in the last askplosion in the same day so my brain was a little fried by the time I got to that ask.

I’m not even talking about Sailor Moon either; it’s just that I knew there are shows with fanservice and there are certain magical girl outfits where I kind of give the side-eye.

Absolutely zero problem with girls fighting in pretty outfits though. I fully admit that I’m a bit of a prude so sometimes I see fanservice where there might not be any. Super short skirts without shorts, for example, inherently throw me off (shout-out to Saint Tail - which I discovered while looking up “pretty magical girl outfits” - because the main character does have a skirt in “magical girl” form but also tights/boots and a cute hat, which is one of the more unique ones I’ve seen).

Non-Miraculous Asks:

Do you mean Sailor Moon Crystal? Yeah, the only reason I hesitate on Sailor Moon in general is because I’m not crazy about the transformed designs. It’s not really a matter of animation but more a design choice that takes me out of the experience.

I have seen all of Cardcaptor Sakura anime though, and then all of the Clear Card arc. I like the former, despise the latter, and I tried to keep up with the manga but once one of the big plot details were revealed, I officially dropped it.

As for Revolutionary Girl Utena, I looked it up a while ago and don’t remember what exactly turned me away. It might’ve been the darker tone though if what you say is accurate that it’s a darker take on a magical girl show.

Also, I may or may not have looked up the ending of at least Princess Tutu and I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s a great anime, but if there isn’t a happy ending then I give whatever anime a hard pass.

(note: yes, I realize the hilarity of saying that when I continue watching Miraculous)

-

(More Madoka Magica talk/salt below!)

Ohhh, it started a trend? I had no idea since I don’t actively keep up with every anime out there; descriptions need to really pull me in (the only current anime I’m keeping up with is Hanyou no Yashahime, Otherside Picnic, and Cells at Work (Season 2)).

The focus on specific--uh--body parts in magical girl transformations also reminds me that I think that’s usually what kills it for me, not because of the sexualization but because I expect transformations (especially ones that get repeated over and over) to be really dynamic with changing angles and such, which is harder to do when the camera is trying to draw focus to specific places.

Obviously you have to do it for some moments (I’ve always imagined Miraculous transformations like a potential sheep or another one for rabbit, then rabbit!Jean from Leave for Mendeleiev and fox!Juleka from LadyBugOut) because things will be weird if you focus on nothing, but I think there are ways to draw the eye without trying to sexualize.

Not having Ladybug-esque bodysuits is a good start. It reminds me too much of the Catwoman with just a bodysuit so it leaves nothing to the imagination.

How did I forget about that Sayaka scene? omg (though I dunno if the Bechdel Test is hard to pass if there aren’t really any endgame male love interests? are there rules about that? not saying a pass isn’t a pass but it feels like cheating)

It is nice when fans can respect the opinions of others without having to outright attack. I have had a few people come to me with, “I see your point/respect it even if I disagree,” instead of accusing me/others of--well, you get it.

Fandoms can be really messy, particularly as they get larger. I think there’s a certain balance between small fandoms that all know each other and a big fandom that’s out of control. Then there are things like “loud minority” and it’s just uggggh.

Anyway, back to the asks themselves, yeah, I’m not crazy about taking things that are just meant to be positive/cute/whatever and being like, “OKAY BUT WHAT IF IT WAS EDGY AND SAD.”

n o ,  p l z

Oh, I’ve never heard of that one!

Sayaka dying didn’t really do anything for me either. It’s hard to explain when I saw it so long ago, but it was just Sayaka’s attitude about the whole thing and it made it feel underwhelming. It was a shame too because I liked her and she had potential.

She was Madoka’s friend so I was just like, “Yeah, she’ll die soon.” Probably didn’t help since I knew what I knew about the show being “dark.”

Madoka/Sayaka is probably what I’d support the most out of all the potential shoujo ai ships. To my knowledge, none of them are really canon, though I remember a special song after the death Sayaka and Kyoko which I guess makes them the most canon and that did basically nothing for me since their relationship didn’t interest me (nor did I care for Kyoko as a character). The PSP game might have more intimate potential between the girls, but I never played them so I can’t make those claims (I only remember something about everyone potentially living and then a bad ending for Sayaka where part of her body was decayed when they didn’t get her soul gem back in time).

The tomboy argument makes me think back to a conversation with a friend of mine where we were discussing tomboys in anime and... we couldn’t really think of any? At least any that really qualify as “tomboy” for me.

Like, Misty from Pokemon, for example. I knoooooow everyone really likes Misty, but regardless of my opinion on her, it’s hard to see her as a tomboy.

I feel like they try to lean that way by making her super aggressive and violent (because... m E N) and I think Ash makes a comment once about her not being “like a girl,” but... I feel like that’s just how general “aggressive” female characters are written?

I mean, that’s tsundere female characters I’ve seen in general. Really loud (and not in a “gIrlS aRe sO lOuD aND ScReEcHY” way but like... the way anime gives them big heads while they scream at whatever male character they’re mad at), angry a lot, short fuse, etcetera.

But Misty is still crazy about clothes and dolls, she still gushes about cute things and romance, and both of those things seem pretty indicative of what “standard girl character” would be defined by, since they’re all “stereotypically girl thing” (I say stereotypically for obvious reasons since boys can like blah and girls can like blah and gender exclusivity is blah--). I get that she dresses differently, but that’s about it, and it comes off like, “she dresses differently and she’s ANGRY and VIOLENT, so she’s a tomboy,” which... yeah. They even gave her three beauty queen sisters with CURVES and BUSTS as if to say, “See?? These are GIRLS, not TOMBOYS.” (busty females can exist who are also tomboys, thank you have a nice day).

This becomes more complicated in magical girl anime since girly clothes are usually part of that so “tomboy” means that frills and skirts probably wouldn’t be a factor.

I mean, if you gave those sorts of outfits to me, I’d be like, “SCREW IT, I’M NOT A MAGICAL GIRL ANYMORE. IF LOOKING PRETTY IS REDUCED TO SKIRTS AND FRILLS, SOMEONE ELSE CAN SAVE THE WORLD.”

I’d also like to see some mixes between personalites and “tomboy” things. Like, non-stereotypical tomboy personalities doing tomboy things. Mix and match, y’know?

This was really rambly, but to answer the question... no, I wouldn’t count Sayaka as a tomboy.

All of this.

I think it also exemplifies the whole “dark and edgy magical girl show” thing because... ugh, how do I put this...

The “girls are overly emotional” thing is already bad, but then you realize that there not being any magical boys is also because that doesn’t hit the “shock value” threshold as much.

Y’know, because boys equal dark and edgy shows, so if there was even one magical boy it wouldn’t be as shocking when Mami gets her head chomped. They could’ve done, “emotional teenagers are the target because they’re in that vulnerable stage; smarter and more physically capable than children, but not as mature/stable as adults,” but having some boys in there for balance (it makes me feel weird saying that when I’m all for girl power shows with an all female cast, but in this show’s logic, it’s a different ball game) would make the show seem less bright and “girly” and thus lessen the shock value.

Does that make sense?

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 28

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 1/?

A/N: Alright, an update and this time /almost/ on time! So, here's the thing: we are starting the so called 'Waystation arc', which will be many, many chapters because I have way too many ideas despite the fact that Leo and Cal won't even be there that long. So, please bear with me, I know this chapter is kind of a fillery one but I can't really skip the introductions 😅 More interesting stuff will definitely happen soon enough!

I hope that you guys enjoy (seriously it really always warms my heart to see your wonderful comments ♥) and maybe leave some nice words if you feel like it!!

Words: 2700+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

”So, here we are…” Leo told Calypso when he stopped his car, the faithful Argo II, in the yard of Waystation. Both of their exams were finished and Calypso had taken a few days off work so she could join Leo at his family home for the holidays. “What do you think?” he asked, possibly a bit nervous about his flatmate’s opinion. Calypso could understand that; she knew that it was a very important place to him.

She took in her surroundings: a big, old house where the family lived and several other buildings such as a garage and a shelter for the animals next to it. Even though she and Leo were still in the car, she could already hear the sharp barking of Festus the German shepherd somewhere further in the yard. The place wasn’t all that showy especially compared to what she had seen in her childhood, but there were a lot of mysterious corners and fascinating looking objects around that screamed to be observed more closely. Unlike the place where she had been living several years of her life, to her this place… seemed home-y.

“It… looks cozy,” she finally answered Leo's question when she realized he kept looking at her expectantly. “I think I can see why you like it here.”

“Yeah!” Leo seemed happy to hear Calypso liked it. “I like to call it a well organized chaos - just the way it should be in Leo’s world. But c’mon, my fam must be waiting already.”

“Let’s go, then.”

Leo barely had time to open the door of the car and stand up when Festus ran and jumped at him, trying to drown him in wet dog kisses.

“Woah, buddy! I’m glad to see you too!” Leo exclaimed and attempted to pet him even though it was hard because Festus was all over the place. “It’s my holiday break so I’ll be here with you for a long while! Isn’t that great?”

Festus gave him a small bark and wagged his tail even faster as a response. Calypso followed the exchange between the boy and his dog with amusement.

“Not sure if I should be jealous of your… you call it bromance, right?” she teased, while smiling widely. Already she had noticed that Leo seemed more relaxed in this place, and for some reason that made her feel warm and fuzzy even though she tried to battle such feelings.

“Aww, why would you be jealous? I have space in my heart for both of you,” he winked and Calypso had to look away so that he wouldn’t see her blush - again.

“No reason,” she mumbled and got out of the car as well, causing Festus to leave Leo alone and come to greet her instead. “Hi, you!” she managed to say while getting showered with love by the dog. “I guess this means you still remember me!”

“Of course he does,” Leo grinned at her. “I think you made quite an impression on him earlier. Hey, boy!” he whistled at the dog who returned to him. “I’m still your number one man, right?”

“Now who’s jealous?” Calypso chuckled at him. “He was just getting started with me.”

“That’s what you think,” Leo claimed. He had already taken his luggage from the car and now he was waiting for Calypso to do the same so he could lock the doors. She just stuck her tongue out at him instead of replying to his comment.

“Wait, are you planning to move here?” He asked with amusement when Calypso dragged her suitcase out of the car. Even though she would be staying at Waystation for less than a week, she had taken quite a lot of things with her just to be sure she wasn’t missing anything. “Not that I have anything against you living with my family… It’s just that that…” he pointed at the suitcase, “… looks a bit excessive considering we’re not staying that long and we can just drive or even walk back to our flat any time we want to if we need something.”

“You can never be too well prepared in situations like this!” Calypso stated, pulling her suitcase behind her while Festus followed her happily.

“Okay, okay,” Leo put his hand up in defeat and started following Calypso towards the house. “I believe you.”

…

“Calie, Calie!” a young brown haired girl exclaimed happily when the flatmates made it inside the house. “You came!”

“Hi, Georgina!” Calypso greeted the girl. “I did promise you, and both you and I know that promises should be kept, right?” Even at the risk of the trip being very awkward because of everything that was currently going on between her and Leo, she wasn’t planning to disappoint this little girl. She knew too well how that felt.

“Right!” Georgina agreed with her. “So, how has my brother been lately? Super annoying, as usual?”

Calypso was unsure what she should answer to that question, especially since Leo was listening right next to her. “Umm… he hasn’t been that bad, in my opinion… Sure, he has his annoying moments but I think the exams have kept him so busy that he has mostly been behaving himself.” She smiled at the girl, one part of her hoping Leo knew better than to take her too seriously. But then again, they had been bickering since day one, and apparently, he still liked her.

“Yeah, and Calypso has been somewhat behaving herself too, thanks for asking,” Leo intervened, looking slightly annoyed. “Well, what about you, sis? Did you pass all your tests?”

“I did but the math one was super difficult! Maybe you can help me with it when the school starts again?” Georgina gave Leo the kind of puppy eyes that would have been hard to resist for anyone. And sure enough, Leo’s frown melted quickly when she kept looking at him pleadingly.

“Of course I can help! That’s what I’m here for, right?” he answered without hesitation. Then he frowned again. “But where are our mothers? I thought they’d catch us like hawks the moment we arrived.”

“They’re probably busy making a big dinner,” Georgina noted. “I don’t think they’ve talked about anything else except you two the whole day…”

“Really?” Leo asked. “That’s… weird? I do visit here often enough…”

“Yeah, but how often do you visit with a girl?” Georgina pointed out sneakily. The girl was really observant for her age, Calypso thought. She and Leo exchanged quick looks before Leo answered.

“Listen, Georgie. Cal and I are friends. And flatmates obviously. But we are not dating, I hope you know that,” he said firmly, even though Calypso could sense that he wished he could have told her something else.

“Then how come she’s spending the holidays with us? Doesn’t she have her own family to spend it with?”

It was an innocent question, as Georgina had no idea about Calypso’s home circumstances, but it had still hit a bit too close to home to Calypso and Leo knew that. That’s why he rushed to answer for her: “Hey, now, miss Nosy! Cal has her own reasons why she prefers spending the holidays with us, and she doesn’t have to explain them all to you. The main thing is that she’s here and I hope you won’t bother her by asking more of your annoying questions.”

“Now you’re just being rude,” Georgina grimaced at him. “But fiiine, I won’t ask more questions. I’ll go tell moms that you guys arrived.”

“Go do that,” Leo sighed, and rolled his eyes when she was already out of sight. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he told Calypso as he showed her where she could put her outerwear. “For the first 15 years of my life I didn’t have a sibling and somehow I thought it would be great to have one… She /is/ pretty great most of the time but no one told me beforehand that sometimes siblings can be quite nuisances too.”

Calypso’s face fell a bit as she thought about her own sister and how much she sometimes wished she could see her again. Luckily Leo seemed to realize pretty fast that he had said something wrong.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t remember… I mean, I know I’m lucky to have a sister like her, I just… Um, I’m just gonna shut up now.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Calypso tried to calm him down. “It’s an easy mistake to make. I haven’t talked about her a lot to you…”

“As someone who has also lost a family member, I understand why you don't wanna do that, Sunshine. But hey,” he stepped closer to her, sticking his index finger close enough to her chin that she had to lift it, but not close enough that it would have touched her. “You’re visiting casa de Valdez & co and we have a rule here that we should put the nasty stuff behind us, at least during the visit.”

“You mean like, ‘Hakuna matata’?” Calypso asked, having heard the story of Leo loving Lion King as a child. As their eyes met, she could feel the butterflies flying in her stomach again.

“Yep, now you’re speaking my language, babe.”

“Babe?” Calypso raised her eyebrow but was interrupted before she could say more because Leo’s adoptive mothers finally entered the room. Calypso had already met Jo earlier, but Emmie hadn’t been with her and Georgina that time. She had a long, grey braid, and something about her posture told her that the woman had done a lot of sports back in the day. She was wearing an apron over her work clothes and she was smiling at her in a friendly manner when their eyes met.

Jo greeted Calypso first.

“Hello, it’s nice to see you again.” Then she pointed at the woman next to her. “This is my wife, Emmie. You haven’t met her yet, right?"

“Correct.”

“Well, hello dear,” Emmie spoke, shaking Calypso’s hand. “You must be the Calypso I keep hearing so much about. I’m not sure which of these kids has been more excited about your visit; Georgina has been asking Leo every time he visits when he’ll bring you with her. I guess that day is finally here!”

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Calypso mumbled, a bit overwhelmed by the excitement with which Leo’s Waystation family welcomed her. The more she heard, the more it felt like they really thought that Leo was bringing home someone who was /not/ just a flatmate. Despite that, she knew these people were just trying to be polite, so she couldn’t get angry at them. Especially since in different circumstances they may not have been wrong. “Thank you for having me. I’ve been looking forward to seeing this place! And of course I haven’t forgotten that I promised to teach Georgina some baking so I had to come.”

“I hope it’s not too much trouble,” Emmie said, a lot like Jo during the visit to Leo and Calypso’s flat. “Leo has of course told us that you’re a rather busy person these days so we wish you get some resting time too.”

“No, it’s not a problem at all,” Calypso shook her head, smiling at Georgina who was looking at her expectantly. “I like having something to do with my hands; I’m not used to just sitting around.”

“That’s great,” Emmie said approvingly. “I don’t think you will have a boring moment in this household. Now, let us show you to our guest room upstairs and then we can all go dine together.”

“Sounds good,” Calypso agreed and started following the women further into the house.

…

After setting her things into a guest room with a big bed, an old mahogany desk, some flowers by the window and a fascinating looking bookshelf, Calypso was led into the dining room where the dinner was waiting.

“Smells so good,” she told the others before she knew what kind of meal Leo’s mothers had prepared. “Reminds me of something I’ve tasted at home…”

“A little bird told us that you like Greek food,” Emmie said mysteriously.

When Leo had told his mothers Calypso and he would be visiting Waystation, they had asked him what kind of food she liked. Calypso had once mentioned that she missed eating some of the traditional Greek foods she had gotten as a child, so that’s what Leo had suggested. The women of Waystation had ended up making moussaka and along with it (much to Leo’s dismay) some salad with lots of olives in it.

“You didn’t...!” Calypso exclaimed when she saw what was inside the frying pan, clapping her hands together. “I loved it when mum made this when I was a kid! I probably last ate it when I was 10…” Something warm rose to her chest when it sunk into her that someone had seen that much effort to make her feel welcomed. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re very welcome, dear,” Jo said. “We know you’re a very important person to Leo – even though he may be a bit bad at expressing his real thoughts sometimes – so we wanted to make sure that you know that you’re always welcome to visit us.”

“I’m sure I would have been convinced about that even with less effort,” Calypso reassured Leo’s mothers, pretending to ignore the hidden meaning behind the older woman’s words. “But I appreciate it a lot.”

“Guys, I don’t know about you but I’m starving, so can we please skip the pleasantries and just start eating?” Leo asked impatiently, drumming a glass on the dining table with a spoon.

“Some things never change,” Georgina joined the conversation, elbowing her adoptive brother. “Leo’s always so impatient when it comes to food.”

“But Leonidas,” Calypso started when she took a closer look at the salad that was being served, giving him a lopsided grin. Clearly Georgina’s mischievousness was already getting to her. “Are you really that excited about olives? The last time I checked, you weren’t particularly enthusiastic about them.”

Leo seemed a bit less excited about the food when he realized that she was right, but before he had time to comment, Emmie spoke first.

“What? You made Leo eat olives? That’s a story I’d like to hear,” she urged Calypso, and the latter mentioned did not have to be convinced twice to tell the story.

“Alright. One Saturday evening we decided to cook some Greek and Mexican style food just for fun. I of course had some olives in the salad I made and asked Leo to taste it, but he didn’t like it so somehow we ended up making a deal that if I eat one of his chilis, he eats his olives.”

“Yep, and you lost,” Leo pointed out immediately.

“I’ve said this before and I will say it again that it was an unfair bet! Those chilis were /hot/. Olives can actually be consumed without burning your mouth.” Calypso retorted.

“Wait, are you talking about the chilis that Leo has gotten from here?” Emmie asked. “Ouch, Leo, those things really are spicy. I am on Calypso’s side here; it /was/ an unfair bet.”

“Not you too!” Leo protested, crossing his arms. “Nothing happened; she only ate a little and I gave her some bread and milk afterwards. And eventually we both laughed at the whole thing.”

“Wow, brother, that was almost gentlemanly of you,” Georgina stated, clearly proud of the fancy word she had just used. “Calie, he would probably have just let me suffer if I had eaten that chili pepper.”

“Yep, because you’re just a little twerpette,” Leo replied while ruffling Georgina’s hair affectionately.

“Ahem,” Jo finally interrupted the banter. “I love hearing these stories but we don’t want Calypso’s welcome dinner to get cold, do we? So let’s dig in.”

The others didn’t have to be told twice. As everyone was eating the moussaka (Calypso noticed Leo had even taken an olive on his plate to show the others he could) and chatting about various things, Calypso really did start feeling welcomed and she even caught herself thinking that Jo was probably right; she wouldn’t be having a boring moment here.

[red-sector-rivendell]

media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear