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raven-cincaide · 5 days ago

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Post Canon! Yuuji wants to be a university student. He says that after all the war and loss he needs to catch up on rest and just be human- like the rest of them. He blames Nobara’s insatiable nagging about ‘finally being around people with taste’ and excuses it by saying that Megumi needs to find someone to love- whether the brooding guy wants it or not. However, in truth he misses the carefree school life. And he knows they all need a break from curses. So, after a lot of nagging from his side, the trio sent in their uni applications minutes before the deadline.

Post Canon! Yuuji is dead set on living his best life in the coming three years. To study “something” while attending every book and nerd club with Megumi, every frat party and adventure with Nobara, and hell, maybe show off some of his god-given sports skills he shunned in high school. After all, girls still dug that sort of thing even at uni- the entire ‘jocks’ and ‘athletes’ persona, right?!

Post Canon! Yuuji is determined to experience everything being a ‘normal guy’ could get him. He intends to make new friends, be social, live life and get laid as much as possible. Be single and date until he is sick of romance. But most importantly, he wants these three years to be about him, his wants, his needs, and to be a bit goddamn selfish for once.

At least, that is the plan he declares to his friends as they step onto campus, Nobara and Megumi rolling their eyes at him before heading to get their schedules. While Post Canon! Yuuji headed straight to the housing office because he’d rather be Sukuna’s vessel again than drive two hours daily from campus to the Jujutsu dorms.

Post Canon! Yuuji sees you, the administrative assistant so far from his usual type, and instantly knows his plans go straight out the window. He shuffles closer to you and the large desk you’re seated at, mouth dry and hands shaking like a teenager as he places his papers and ID on the table before you. He greets you with a shaky smile he hopes doesn’t look like a grimace. “H-Hi! I’m here for house- housing!” God, he sounds like such a noob.

Post Canon! Yuuji can’t help the genuine grin that splits his face as you flash him a look that so clearly reads ‘obviousely’ before typing away at the computer. The way you act instantly reminds him of Megumi and Nobara, and he feels more at ease around you.

Then, addressing him like an idiot feels familiar and almost like coming home: “Here is your copy of the contract and the key. You’re in the main dorms, in a single room on the second floor. recycling at the entrance, and the kitchen at the end of the same hall.” You explain, pointing out the location of his room on a map and then the location of the kitchen as if he was so helpless he wouldn’t be able to find it without your guidance.

“Anything else?” You ask yet it sounds more like a common phrase you utter, expecting a ‘no’ and turning back to your computer to prepare for the next poor sod with a task a glorified monkey could do

But Post Canon! Yuuji isn’t ready to let you go. He wants more of your attention, so he says the first thing on his mind; ”Aww, man, a dorm room? Are you sure? I-I mean, I’m certain I booked a flat!-” Yuji rushes to put on his biggest puppy dog eyes- the kind Nobara says makes him look like a wet dog- “Can you check again? Please? Me and my friends are not from around here, and If I’ve fucked up on housing- man they’ll kill me–” Yuuji rushes out a full-on water-works story, he’s even impressed with himself, maybe he should take up theatre.

Or not, but hey at least it keeps your attention on him.

Post Canon! Yuuji drinks in you and studies every feature of you. From the dark daggers you glare at him, then to the way your eyes grow mild with pity, to how you bite your lips in thought until he’s sure he’ll recognise you anywhere, just by your looks or voice alone.

“I’m sorry, you booked a dorm room, and no flats are available at the moment” you put on that fake work-voice that instantly makes Yuuji’s face fall. He likes your real voice- mean tone and all- a lot better.

Post Canon! Yuuji looks like a kicked puppy as he slowly gathers his stuff from your desk. He barely registers the look of surprise on your face, as if you expected him to talk back to you or pester you instead of politely accepting your words the way he does. But he notes how your expression shifts into hesitation and finally determination.

Post Canon! Yuuji is about to leave when you clear your throat to get his attention. Then, you lean over the desk separating, you two. “You know..” your voice is quiet, clearly not wanting the gathering students in the lobby to hear you, “Not all the apartment keys are gathered yet so there could still come in a cancellation in the next few days... you’re welcome by to check-”

Post Canon! Yuuji grins widely- the widest he has grinned in many years. “I’ll be here tomorrow!” he declares before being forced to leave your small office as your boss draws your attention away. But Yuuji swears to himself he will be there tomorrow, the day after, and the next day after. As long as it means he can talk to you, if only for a little bit.

But first,Post Canon! Yuuji needs to figure out what to do if he actually gets a flat through you. Could he bribe Nobara and Megumi to share the costs with him? Maybe post a ‘room for rent’ ad?

Ohh, well, Post Canon! Yuuji decides, with a skip in his step, he’ll cross that bridge when he gets there. After all, he reasons, you have to do some insane things for love, right?!

Author note: Thank you so so much, @ravester, for asking for a Yuuji-centric post canon hcs I hope this meets your expectations <3

And for the rest of the wonderful readers, what do you think? We have a Megumi one and a Yuuji one, do we need a Nobara one as well?

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evilcarrington · 3 months ago

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KILL4ME -CARRINGTON

pairing: carrington x reader

summary: in which carrington is obsessed with his bestfriend.

warnings: violence,mentions of murder,stalking, rough sex,knife play.

in a small town of woodsboro california there has been a recent murder case. all high school students being targeted. it was around the week of halloween, a day before.

first it was a girl named kenzie and her boyfriend jake. he was found in her backyard tied up to a chair and she was found in her yard brutally murdered.

a pyscho killer broke into her house wearing a cloak and a ghostface mask. first he was calling her on the phone using a strange voice. it led into him killing her boyfriend in front of her then her being chased in her yard til she was murdered and found in her lawn.

everyone who lived in woodsboro was shocked and upset as to why the couple had got murdered. nobody knew as to why high school students were being targeted or who was behind this.

currently y/n was sitting in her bed with her bestfriend tara as they were talking about the events that recently happened.

“can you believe that someone would wanna kill kenzie and jake?” y/n said to her bestfriend as she was laying on her stomach flipping through a magazine.

tara sighed as she looked at her bestfriend. “no its crazy like who would do something like this!”she said playing with her hair.

“right like why kenzie and jake!” y/n said as she sat up on her bed.

the two girls continued to talk about the recent murders and different topics and ate snacks til tara had to go back home.

the girl was currently cleaning her room after tara had just left until her phone started to ring.

she walked over to her phone grabbing it as she answered it. “hello?” she said.

“its all for you baby.” a unknown voice said to her.

she furrowed her eyebrows as she was confused. “who is this and what are you talking about?” she said.

the voice chuckled. “the murders, theyre all for you baby.” the voice of a man said.

“is this some sort of sick prank or something troy because you’re not funny!”she said getting angry.

“this isnt troy.” the voice said.

“try again princess, im inside your house as we speak.” the voice chuckled.

the girl felt her heart racing as the call suddenly ended. “what the fuck!” she said to herself as she sat the phone back down.

she was scared and she felt like she was the next victim of whoever was behind the murders.

she tried to shrug it off and went back to cleaning her room as suddenly her bestfriend carrington was climbing thru her window.

she felt startled as she noticed him climbing in. she walked over to her window helping him in.

“carrington!what are you doing here?” she asked.

he pulled her into a hug and suddenly something fell from his pocket. “just wanted to see you. i was at troys house and figured id come over here.” he said.

she nodded as she looked down at what had just fell out his pocket. she leaned down picking it up as she noticed it was a phone and a voice changer.

“carrington what the fuck!?” she said as she held the items in her hand. she was confused and scared that he may be the one who had just called her.

“y/n i promise its not what it looks like!” carrington said to her as he tried grabbing her so he could explain himself.

“explain yourself then!” y/n shouted, backing away from him. she could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and her hands were starting to shake.

carrington looked desperate. “its not me, i swear. i found this stuff at troys house. I think he’s the one behind the murders. i was going to come and show you this and warn you.” he said.

y/n's mind was racing. she didnt know what to believe. “why didn’t you just tell me that from the start? why sneak in through my window?”she said.

“i didn’t want you to freak out.” carrington said, his voice trembling. “i thought if i came in the normal way, you wouldn’t listen to me.”he said looking at her.

y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “alright, let’s say i believe you. what do we do now?”

“we need to go to the police.” carrington said. “but we need to be careful. if troy finds out that we know, he might come after us.” he said.

“no.”y/n said firmly. “ill go to the police. stay here and keep an eye on things. if anything happens, call me.” she said.

carrington nodded. “be careful, y/n.” he said.

y/n headed out the door, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts. she had to get to the police and tell them everything. if carrington was right,and troy was the killer then they needed to stop him before he could hurt anyone else.

as she walked down the dark streets of woodsboro, y/n couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched. she glanced around nervously but didn’t see anyone. she picked up her pace determined to get to the police station as quickly as possible.

when she finally arrived, she burst through the doors and ran up to the front desk. “i need to speak to someone about the murders,” she said breathlessly.

the officer behind the desk looked at her with concern. “whats your name, miss?”he said.

“y/n.” she said. “i have information about who might be behind the murders.” she said.

the officer nodded and led her to a small room where she could speak to a detective. y/n recounted everything that had happened, from the phone call to carringtons visit and the items she found.

the detective listened carefully, taking notes. “thank you for coming forward y/n. we will look into this immediately. in the meantime i want you to stay somewhere safe. do you have anyone you can stay with?” he looked at her.

y/n nodded. “i can stay with my friend tara.”she said.

“good.” the detective said. “we will send an officer to keep an eye on your house. if you see or hear anything suspicious, don’t hesitate to call us.” the detective said.

y/n left the police station feeling a mixture of relief and fear. she hoped that the police would be able to stop the killer before anyone else got hurt. As she made her way to taras house, she couldn’t help but wonder what would happen next. the nightmare was far from over, but at least now she had taken a step towards ending it.

when y/n arrived at taras house, she knocked on the door, her heart still racing. tara opened it quickly, her eyes wide with concern.

"y/n, what's going on? are you okay?" tara asked pulling her friend inside.

y/n nodded, trying to catch her breath. "i went to the police. theyre looking into everything now. carrington thinks troy might be the killer.” she said.

taras eyes widened even more. "troy?thats insane. what are we going to do?"tara was freaking out.

"we just need to stay safe and wait for the police to do their job." y/n said as her voice was trembling. "theyre going to keep an eye on my house. but i need to stay here with you, just in case."she said.

tara nodded, hugging y/n tightly. "of course.you can stay here. we will get through this together."she said.

as the night went on, y/n and tara tried to distract themselves with movies and conversation. it didnt help much the fear still lingered in the back of their minds. every sound outside made them jump, and they found themselves constantly looking out the windows.

meanwhile,the police were busy investigating the new lead. they went to troys house, where they found more incriminating evidence—photos of the victims, a collection of voice changers, and even a ghostface mask. it seemed like the case was finally coming together.

but little did they know that carrington was actually the one behind the murders. he was planting it all on troy. he had a whole plan to make it seem like it was troy. he had planted the mask,the voice changers, and the pictures at troys house earlier when they were hanging out.

carrington never liked troy.he always has just pretended too because of the friend group.he had his girl. he had y/n. carrington was insanely inlove with her and he would do anything for her. thats one of the reasons why he started the murders. its all for his girl.

carrington has always been inlove with y/n. from the very start of their friendship. that was supposed to be his girl and not troys.

he doesnt know what made him wanting to start to kill for her but now that he started he doesnt want to stop.

he first killed kenzie and jake, both being fake friends of y/n. kenzie had always been two faced to her and carrington didnt like that. he killed jake because he knew it would hurt kenzie watching him be killed.

he had a plan to kill troy and some others that are close to his girl. every killing has a reasoning. troy may be in jail but carrington was gonna kill him either way.

as the night continued, y/n and tara eventually fell into a restless sleep. they were unaware of the true danger that still lurked in the shadows. carrington, hidden behind his facade of concern, was already planning his next move.

the police were confident they had their suspect, but carrington's deception was almost perfect. he watched from a distance, making sure his plan stayed on track. he knew that as long as he played his cards right, he could keep y/n safe from suspicion and close to him.

♡彡

the next day, the town of woodsboro was buzzing with the news of troy's arrest. people felt a sense of relief, believing that the nightmare was finally over. y/n and tara tried to return to their normal routines, but the trauma of recent events still weighed heavily on their minds.

meanwhile carrington continued to play the role of the concerned friend, staying close to y/n and offering his support. he was thrilled that his plan was working so well, and he couldn't wait to see how things would unfold.

but the truth has a way of coming out, and carrington's web of lies was bound to unravel eventually. the question was, how long could he keep up the charade before someone discovered the real killer behind the ghostface mask?

in the end, the town of woodsboro would learn that evil doesn't always come from where you expect. and for y/n, the realization that someone she trusted so deeply was capable of such horrors would be a wound that might never fully heal.

carrington sat with y/n at the fountain along with chase and tara. all talking about the events that has took place in the past few days. as carrington was sitting by y/n he pretended to share her relief. he couldnt help but smile inwardly. in his twisted mind,everything he had done was justified. after all,he was doing it for her.

y/n was still in shock. she couldnt believe that her boyfriend was the one behind the mask. she had all kinds of questions in her mind. was he gonna kill her?why was he doing this?

carrington held the girl close to him as he was comforting her. “you guys coming to my halloween party tonight?” he asked.

chase nodded. “yeah we will be there.” he said with a small smile.

y/n nodded, trying to push her fears aside. “yeah, i think it will be good for us to get out and try to have some fun.”she said forcing a smile.

tara looked at y/n with concern. “are you sure you’re up for it? we don’t have to go if you’re not feeling it.” she said.

carrington smiled, his eyes glinting with a hidden satisfaction. “great, it’s settled then. let’s make tonight a night to remember.” he said.

as the group continued to chat carringtons mind was already racing with plans for the evening. he knew that the party would be the perfect opportunity to take his next step, to solidify his place in y/ns life and eliminate anyone who stood in his way.

the night of the halloween party arrived quickly. y/n, tara, and chase arrived at carringtons house, which was already filled with people in costumes, laughing and dancing. the atmosphere was festive, but y/n couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that had settled in her stomach.

tara and y/n were matching costumes. they both had on bunny ears and a black mini dress and fishnets. chase had on his football jersey with some jeans.

carrington greeted them at the door, dressed in a red robe with a creme colored shirt and a pair of pants.“welcome to the party!” he said, his grin wide and inviting.

y/n gave him a smile back. “thanks, carrington. it looks great.” she said stepping inside.

as the night wore on, y/n found it increasingly difficult to relax. she kept glancing around, looking for any sign of danger. carrington stayed close to her, his presence comforting her.

tara and chase tried to keep the mood light, but they could sense y/n’s tension. “hey, why don’t we get some fresh air?” tara suggested, taking y/n’s hand.

“yeah, that sounds good.” y/n agreed, letting tara lead her outside.

as they stood in the cool night air, y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing thoughts. “im okay tara. i just still feel uneasy about troy.” she said.

tara squeezed her hand reassuringly. “it’s okay, y/n. we’re all here for you. we won’t let anything happen.” she said.

just then, carrington appeared at the door, his expression concerned. “everything okay out here?” he asked.

“yeah, we’re fine.” y/n said, forcing another smile. “just needed a break.”she said.

“good.” carrington said stepping closer. “i want you to enjoy yourself tonight. you deserve it.”he said.

as the party continued, y/n tried her best to relax and have fun. but the feeling of dread never fully left her. she knew that the nightmare wasn’t over yet, and she couldn’t shake the sense that something terrible was still to come.

little did she know carrington was watching her every move, his mind already planning his next steps. he was determined to keep y/n close, no matter what it took. and as the night wore on, he knew that he was getting closer to achieving his twisted goals.

carrington snuck off as the party was going on putting on the cloak and ghostface mask. he had a plan he was ready for his next victims.

troy ended up showing up to the party because the police had proven him innocent. his fingerprints didnt match the ones that were on the evidence.

troy walked into the party, looking around nervously. the atmosphere was tense—people whispered and pointed, clearly not expecting him to show up. y/n's eyes widened when she saw him, and she quickly moved towards him.

"troy, what are you doing here?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"they cleared me." troy said, his voice shaky. "i didn't do it, y/n."he said.

before y/n could respond, carrington appeared, his eyes narrowing at the sight of troy. "what are you doing here?" he asked, his voice cold.

troy looked at carrington, suspicion in his eyes. "i came to clear my name. i know you think i did it, but i didn't." he said.

carrington smirked, his eyes glinting with malice. "we'll see about that.” he said chuckling.

carrington snuck off as the party was going on, putting on the cloak and ghostface mask. he had a plan; he was ready for his next victims.

first, he found tara in the garage, grabbing some drinks for the party. she turned around, her eyes widening as she saw the figure in the ghostface mask.she went to run but it was too late.

without a word, carrington lunged at her, his knife gleaming in the dim light. tara tried to scream, but he silenced her quickly, his blade cutting through the air with deadly precision. she fell to the ground, the life fading from her eyes as carrington stood over her satisfied with what he had just done.

carrington didnt like tara ever. he always thought she was a fake friend to her. he was killing anyone who was in his way and everyone who wasnt the best to his girl.

next, carrington moved through the house, targeting random people who had come to the party. he moved with terrifying efficiency, each kill quick and brutal. the partygoers screamed and fled, the festive atmosphere turning into a scene of horror.

chase tried to stop him, but carrington knocked him out with a swift, brutal blow to the head. he continued his rampage, his eyes gleaming with a twisted satisfaction.

finally, carrington found troy, who had been searching for y/n. he grabbed troy, dragging him into the living room where y/n stood her eyes wide with fear and confusion. carrington held troy in front of him, his knife pressed to troy's throat.

“please dont kill him!” she screamed trying to grab troy out of the masked figures arms. she felt a surge of desperation, her mind racing with thoughts of how to save troy. but her attempts were futile, as the masked figure's grip was too strong, and the blade pressed against troy's throat was unwavering.

with a swift, brutal motion, carrington slit troy's throat the blood spraying across the room. troy fell to the ground, his eyes wide with shock and pain as he bled out.

carrington stepped over troys body, moving towards y/n. he pulled off the ghostface mask, revealing his face, twisted with a dark satisfaction. "do you see now, y/n?" he said, his voice low and intense. "i did this for you. all of it, for you."he said.

she felt a strange thrill run through her, a mix of fear and excitement. "you did this for me?" she whispered, her voice trembling as she looked into his eyes. the realization that he had gone to such lengths for her made her heart race and her arousel starting to grow wetter.

“id do anything for you baby.” he said in a husky tone as he looked at her in the eyes.

anyone else would run away and try to hide from a killer but for some reason y/n was oddly attracted to carrington and the fact he did all of this for her. it unleashed a spark that she never knew she had.

the fact that he was doing this all for her to have her to himself made her want to fuck him right then and there.

“you wanna play pyscho killer” she looked at him.

he nodded as he pulled her closer to him.

“can i be the helpless victim?” she giggled.

“you can baby.” he said.

“please dont kill me mr ghostface i wanna be in the sequel.” she looked at him.

he smirked as he grazed the knife carefully against her chest. “i would never kill you baby. i only kill for you.” he said in a raspy tone.

he pushed her against the wall, his breath hot against her neck. "i've wanted you for so long." he whispered, his hands roaming over her body. she responded eagerly, her fingers tugging at his clothes, desperate to feel his skin against hers.

“carrington.” she moaned, her voice barely a whisper as he kissed her neck, his teeth grazing her skin. the thrill of danger only heightened her desire, and she could feel herself getting wetter with every touch.

as he pulled away from her neck she looked at him. “fuck me with your mask on please.” she said as she held it in her hand.

with no hesatation he led her up to his room. their lips locked in a heated kiss as soon as they got into his room.he pushed her onto the bed tearing at her fishnets off with a desperate urgency. she arched her back, moaning as he kissed down her neck, his hands exploring every inch of her body.

he pulled away from the kiss sliding her dress off of her as she was taking the cloak off of him. she slid off his shirt and started messing with the buckle on his pants.

he stripped himself out of his pants then stripped her out of her bra and panties. he got inbetween her legs hovering over her as he kissed her while running his dick up and down her slick folds.

she whimpered into his mouth as he pushed himself into her gripping her hip with one hand as the other ran his knife up and down her thigh carefully.

he pulled away from the kiss starting to pound into her as he took the knife placing it against her throat making sure to be careful with it.

he slapped her across the cheek as he looked at her hungrily. “open your fucking mouth.” he demanded.

she did as he told her to sticking her tounge out as he spit directly into her mouth swallowing it.

“yeah you wanna be my helpless little victim baby?” he asked her.

all she could do was moan in response already too dumb to form a proper sentence. “y-yes”she moaned out.

he reached over grabbing the ghostface mask putting it on as he continued pounding into her as he had her eyes rolling.

she felt herself clenching around him as her orgasm was starting to grow closer and closer. “g-gonna cum daddy!” she moaned.

he smirked as he reached down rubbing her clit. “cum all over my dick baby.” he said.

with that she felt herself cumming on him coating his cock with her cum as she moaned out his name repeatedly.

he pulled out and grabbed her putting her on all fours and pushing himself back into her causing her to scream out.

she gripped onto the sheets letting out a loud string of moans as he pounded into her while gripping her hips so hard it will leave bruises.

he felt himself starting to get close to his orgasm as he was pounding her. he leaned down against her whispering into her ear. “my fucking girl. if anyone else ever tries getting with you i will kill them.”

“im all yours.”she moaned out getting close to her second orgasm.

“im gonna cum baby.” he moaned.

“cum for me daddy.” she moaned.

and with that he shot his load deep inside of her as she came around his dick again.

he slowly pulled out as he watched the mixture of their cum ooze out. he pushed it back inside of her as he grabbed the mask taking it off and laying down.

he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms kissing her forehead as he rubbed on her body.

"you wont snitch on me?"he asked her.

"no you killed4me." she said.

#jake webber #jake and johnnie #jake webber smut #jake webber fanfic #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert fanfic #scream smut #scream fanfic #scream imagines #scream #chase keith #carrington

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psychhound · 28 days ago

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ttrpgs in the classroom (part 8)

oh boy have i not made one of these posts in ,,, like a year. grad school is crazy yall. lmao. but. i wanted to share what we do for our analysis unit now that we've hit it this semester!!

other games used in the unit:

we are but worms & graves for funerals

the assignment:

write an essay of approximately 1000 words doing a literary analysis of some aspect of a game, first forming an inquiry question, then looking in the text for evidence, then coming up with an argument about a deeper meaning of the text. the second draft of the assignment can either be an expanded essay, or a multimodal piece of the student's choosing. (the other option for this essay is to do a rhetorical analysis of an argumentative text about gaming)

the games:

[ID: a powerpoint slide titled choose your fighter game (the word fighter is crossed out, so it reads choose your game). it shows five ttrpg titles, with a short description of each, and an icon to represent them. the background is a light orange sky and green grass in a video game like art style. there is a fake game menu bar on the bottom. the games in the slide are functionally described below. end ID]

when we made war upon the slumbering woods by richard kelly @sprintingowl

a collaborate journey into the magical woods ... to destroy it

the treasure at the end of this dungeon is an escape from this dungeon and we will never escape from this dungeon by riverhouse games @riverhousegames

a lyric game about a never-ending dungeon and those stuck there

kenzie's project by sasha winter @stargazersasha

a Weird Academia horror game for three players

i love you, alive girl by anna anthropy

a 1-page game about writing love letters under surveillance

drifters by gila rpgs

a Weird West game of gunslingers and their guns

past semesters game options:

a dragon game by chris bissette cozy town by rae nedjadi @temporalhiccup

the process:

in the powerpoint introducing the games, i have a more thorough description of each one, and then three examples of inquiry questions that they could use as jumping off points to do their analysis on. the inquiry questions ask things like, what moral stance might this game align itself with, what other stories is this game in dialogue with and to what effect, what does this game have to say about the current state of our society? the students can use these inquiry questions or not, theyre only meant to be examples

the results:

this is definitely the most challenging project for my students, but i think that challenge is good for them! i've had really mixed results, with the most common issue i run into just being surface level analysis. they are, however, 18 and have never done anything like this before (for the vast majority of my students) so a lot of my feedback is just pushing them further and trying to get them to say something interesting. i really love a dragon game and cozy town, but i found they didnt have enough context of ttrpgs and dnd/pf to really Get why a dragon game was interesting, so i replaced it with escape from this dungeon since thats got some more meat for them like voicey rules and characters. and im a big fan of nedjadi's games and wanted to give my students something more cute and fun, but they struggled to find much to read into or say about it that wasnt very surface level. escape from this dungeon and ilu, alive girl are new games this semester so we will see how those go over!!

#indie ttrpgs #ttrpg community #teaching #ttrpgs in the classroom

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tojisangrylittlething · 1 year ago

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Can you do Gojo Satoru x reader (also his age like idk they went to schopl together) and they r dating but the reader almost dies and then treats their death mockingly as if as a joke? How would Gojo react?

Have a lovely day! 🪷

summary: death has always been a joke to you, but your boyfriend isn't very pleased with your sick sense of humor.

tw: canon typical violence, near-death experience, cussing, pre-hidden inventory arc, hurt to comfort

wc: 3.4k

a/n: your wish is my command lovely anon! sorry it took me a bit to complete! you're my first ever ask, so i hope this is what you wanted <3

satoru is currently walking through the courtyard of jujutsu tech. it's his second year as a student and his reputation as the strongest grows by the day. he feels incredibly lucky to have met his friends, such as suguru and ieiri.

but then there's you.

the bright-eyed first year who caught his attention the minute you walked through the doors of the school. shyly introducing yourself, holding out your hand shakily with a timid smile adorning your breathtaking features.

satoru was starstruck, his brain short-circuited and he forgot how to fucking breathe. it took him at least 2 whole minutes to shake your hand and give you an adequate greeting.

as you walked away with nanami and haibara, satoru couldn't help but watch as you did. your hips swaying and hands swinging freely at your sides, laughing at something haibara said. god, satoru will never forget your smile for as long as he lives.

suguru about had to unleash a curse on his best friend to get him to come back to planet earth.

from that day forward, satoru knew that he had to have you. whatever satoru gojo wants, satoru gojo gets.

after a few months of pining and romantic gestures, satoru finally convinced you to go on a date. as the date was coming to a close, he kissed you under the vibrant lights on the city streets of tokyo. the only time that he ever hesitated was when he asked you to be his partner, to be the one who loved and cared for him despite his flaws.

satoru couldn't help but kiss you again the second you said yes, completely overwhelmed with the feeling of joy.

now, six months later, your relationship has bloomed into something exquisite. you've shared many laughs, cries, and tender moments that satoru cherishes deeply in his soul.

he currently walks to see yaga, something about having a new mission for him. you're supposed to be back from your own respective mission today and satoru hopes he'll get to see you before he leaves.

satoru hears his phone ringing from his pocket, he reaches down and grabs it, eyes scanning over the caller ID.

shoko is calling...

he furrows his brows, a bit confused as to why she would be calling. shrugging it off, he presses the green answer button and holds it up to his ear.

"shoko! to what do i owe the-"

the sound of her sniffling immediately stops satoru in his tracks.

"shoko? what's going on?"

he hears her clear her throat and she sighs. gojo chews the dead skin off his bottom lip anxiously, speculating what she could say next.

"something happened to y/n. we're in the medical wing."

satoru feels his heart drop straight to his stomach, eyes growing wide at her words. he thinks he mumbles something along the lines of i'm on my way, but he's not entirely sure. the blood rushing through his ears makes his hearing sound muffled.

he half-hazzardly shoves his phone back into his pocket, taking off toward the medical wing of the school. his thoughts consumed with nothing but you.

---

when satoru arrives, he's shocked by what he sees.

there you are, lying in the white cot with your eyes closed. your skin is abnormally pale, the vibrant glow you always held has now turned dull. you're wrapped in bandages and an IV drip is connected to the top of your hand.

satoru keeps his face blank, afraid that if he shows any emotion he will break down. internally, his brain is screaming for you, what could have possibly happened to you that you're in this condition?

he always swore to you that he'd protect you, not only was that his job as one of the strongest sorcerers of the age, but also as your devoted boyfriend.

"you know i will always protect you, right my love?"

you smiled sweetly at him, eyes crinkling at the corners and nose scrunching up adorably, "of course i know that toru."

that interaction plays in his head like a broken record. he wasn't there for you.

shoko approaches him cautiously, unsure of what her friend is thinking. satoru's face is void of emotions, but she can see the turmoil swimming in his eyes, even from behind his sunglasses. his usually radiant blue eyes are now dark and frigid.

shoko reaches her hand out to touch him, but pulls it back deciding against it. she knows satoru has to be on high alert right now, so surely his infinity is on.

satoru finally looks at shoko, remorse is written all over her face. her eyes are slightly downcast and there's a frown on her lips. she looks him up and down, trying to assess what he's feeling.

he looks back to you, "what happened?" satoru mumbles out, his voice is eerily calm, but there's a waver behind it.

shoko turns her gaze to where gojo's is, the events of the mission playing over in her head. she shakes her head, willing those images to go away.

"the intel was wrong. it was supposed to be a grade 3, but it was a grade 1."

satoru stays quiet as he takes in the information. he clenches his fists in anger, how could they possibly mistake something like that? their one miscalculation leads to the light of his life on their deathbed.

shoko takes his silence as her cue to continue, "the curse threw an attack aimed at me, but y/n threw themselves in front of me. they took the blow head on."

shoko hears the shake in her own voice and feels the tears begin to gather in her waterline. she always viewed you as a younger sibling, looking out for you and having your back whenever you would need her.

"i used my technique and healed them the best i could, but now we have to play the waiting game."

shoko turns to gojo after finishing her sentence and she becomes even more worried for him.

gojo's fists shake from how tightly he clutches down on them, his knuckles are extruding due to the force he is using. shoko can hear the grinding of his teeth with how brutally he is clenching them, any harder he might break a tooth.

before shoko can stop herself, she puts a comforting hand on his arm. she's shocked to find that his infinity is off.

shoko composes herself then, hand squeezing his arm comfortingly, "i'm so sorry gojo, i'm so so sorry."

satoru turns his eyes to her and sees the apologetic look she wears on her face. he sighs and lets go of his fists, shooting her a small smile, "it's not your fault shoko, don't blame yourself."

silence falls across the room then, the only sound being heard is the steady beeping of the heart monitor you're attached to. satoru and shoko are unable to stop staring at you, each of their hearts breaking in different ways for the state that you're in.

"i'm going to wait with them until they wake up."

gojo says nothing else as he plops himself in the uncomfortable chair next to your bedside. he grasps your hand in his, your hand is cold and it makes his insides twist.

shoko watches gojo for a moment, noting how gentle he is with you and the soft look in his eyes. she can physically see all of the love that walking behemoth holds for you.

she bows slightly and makes her way out of the room, running off to tell yaga what has happened and that gojo will not leave your side. she knows him well enough to know that he would cause an absolute shitstorm before anyone takes him away from you.

as soon as shoko leaves, satoru can't help the anxiety that eats away at him. all of the worst possible scenarios being the only thing he can think of.

he frowns deeply and uses his free hand to rub at his eyes, not wanting to shed any tears over something that may not happen.

satoru glides his thumb softly over your wrist, he's able to feel your pulse and it's weak. this causes him to sigh, taking in your figure and the injuries all over your skin.

"wake up soon my love, i'll be waiting."

---

you have no idea what time it must be when you wake up, the lighting in the room blinding you from how bright it is.

this causes you to squint your eyes, trying to get your eyes to adjust to the sudden intrusion to your vision.

when you look around you, you see that your in a room in the medical wing of the school. since becoming a sorcerer, you've grown familiar with the disgusting hospital white that paints the walls. the smell alone making you scrunch up your face with how putrid it is.

after a few minutes of observation, you feel something in your left hand.

you look in that direction and see your beautiful boyfriend satoru. he is bent forward, laying his head on the bed you also lay in with his head resting on his forearms. his eyes are closed and he's snoring softly, a stark contrast to how tightly he is gripping your hand.

you can't help the small smile that finds its way to your lips, your free hand reaching for him. you run your fingers lightly through his snow-white hair, scratching lightly at his scalp.

your movements cause him to stir, he faintly and his eyes blink open slowly.

he glances around the room briefly when his eyes finally find yours, the smile you wear is so tender that satoru believes it to be an illusion.

you try to speak to him but you start coughing violently, your throat dry from being asleep for so long.

satoru scrambles to your bedside table, grabbing the water cup and holding it to your lips.

you grasp at it and drink it quickly, your body feels as if it hasn't drank in days.

when you've finished the water, satoru plucks it from you and sets it back on the table. he faces you again and squeezes your hand, smiling at you affectionately, "welcome back, baby."

you return the loving smile and squeeze his hand back, a rasp to your voice, "hi."

satoru cradles your head, his eyes taking in every single feature on your face. his smile falters almost imperceptibly, his eyes looking directly into yours, "almost lost you there."

you wave him off, chuckling extraneously, "it's fine satoru, could've been worse."

his frown seems to deepen even more, "you almost died, baby. i don't understand how it could be worse."

you look around nonchalantly with a light expression on your face, "oh, i don't know, i could actually be dead."

satoru furrows his brows at you, pulling away from you slightly, "baby, i'm serious. you could have died."

you grin at him, honestly finding his serious behavior amusing, "it's no big deal toru."

satoru completely pulls away from you then, shocked by how your treating the situation, "no big deal? this is a big deal y/n."

you roll your eyes and snicker at him, hilarity dancing in your eyes, "no it's not satoru, it's just part of the job. although, that would not have been a cool way to go. only a grade one? come on." you groan out by the end, embarrassed that it wasn't a special grade that landed you here.

satoru is frozen in his spot, completely appalled at the way you're handling this. he thought of all the ways you would wake up, but he didn't account for this one.

sure, satoru has done incredibly reckless things, come on he's satoru gojo. he only commits those acts because he knows he has an insurance policy in place, his infinity. he's convinced the only thing that can kill him is himself.

you, however, do not have his technique.

yes, you're an incredibly powerful sorcerer, working your way up the ranks quickly. gojo believes that one day you'll sit beside him and suguru as the strongest.

but today is not that day.

you threw yourself at a walking hand grenade for fucks sake, the fact that you even survived is shocking. he's grateful to the gods that you did, but he only wishes you would take this a bit more earnestly.

satoru takes both of your hands in his, rubbing his thumbs back and forth absentmindedly.

"baby, i need you to listen to me carefully."

when he looks up at you, you're looking straight at him. you have a passive look on your face, a small smirk fixed on your lips, "satoru, i told you it's-"

satoru grip on your hands grows tighter, his eyebrows scrunching up in frustration and his eyes are full of anguish. he can't help the volume that his voice rises to, unable to hold back any longer, "no, no it's not fine! i almost fucking lost you today, and for what, because you decided to dive in front of something equivalent to a fucking missile?"

you roll your eyes at your boyfriend and yank your hands out of his grasp, your arms cross over your chest and you huff out in annoyance, the glare you send satoru cutting through your once light-hearted facade, "and what was i supposed to do? let shoko take the hit?"

satoru scoffs at that, the words spilling out of his mouth like an uncontrollable fire, "this isn't about shoko, this is about you. do you have no regard for your own life that you'd just throw it all away?"

you fire right back at him, annoyance beginning to boil in your gut and popping right out of the top, "i'm not throwing my fucking life away! shoko was about to be blown to smithereens! i accepted death when i became a sorcerer, have you?"

satoru cannot believe what he's hearing and it clearly shows on his face, his mouth morphs into a scowl and his eyes are so dark you can't even see his pupils anymore, "at least i wouldn't have wound up here, clinging to a life i obviously don't give a shit about."

the look on your face could kill anyone in a 5 mile radius, your eyes throwing daggers and your mouth shooting bullets, "maybe i should have died on that field, at least then i wouldn't have the honored one trying to dictate my life."

you're panting heavily, you can feel your body shaking with rage and you can hear the heart monitor beeping rapidly.

satoru is a different story.

his breathing is opposite of yours, it seems to have come to a halt. his pupils are blown wide and his mouth is open slightly, trying to see if he heard you correctly.

he sighs dejectedly and pinches the bridge of his nose. he's attempting to think of something to say, but he's coming up empty handed.

you hear him rustling about and turn your gaze back to him. you see him stand with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched and looking completely deflated.

he looks through you with an empty stare trying to mask the pain he's feeling, mouth pulled into a thin line, "you know what? fine. if you want to go on a suicide run, fine, do what you wish. i will have no part in it."

what he says next is like a harpoon being shot through your heart.

"if you are that willing to leave everything behind, i want no part of you either."

you feel as if the world has stopped spinning on its axis. the gravity of his words crushing you, turning you into mere atoms of a human being.

regret begins to wash over you, an apology sitting on the tip of your tongue but you can't form the words. your breaths are now coming out in short pants, your heart and lungs feel like they're being shattered from the inside.

"i love you more than my dreams would ever allow, but i still want to be able to love you and not your corpse."

you put your head in your hands, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow you whole. you dig your nails into your cranium with so much strength you think you broke skin.

you don't even know if satoru is still here, too engrossed in the thought of him leaving you.

to others, your relationship may seem like a juvenile affair, but that's not the case.

in the world of jujutsu, you see and experience a multitude of things that a teenager should never have to go through. you're sent off like soldiers to war, fighting against something that is greater than yourselves. death is simply inevitable, it's in the job description. some sorcerers thrive, while others wither away.

joking about your impending demise has been your way of coping with it. an unhealthy coping mechanism, but what else are you supposed to do? live your life too tentatively and miss out on the beauty it has to offer?

that's why you loved satoru.

he was always a ray of sunshine in your life. a shining star in your dark universe, providing light and warmth in his wake. the day he asked you to be his significant other, you were beyond happy. the delicate glances he gives you, the soft kisses he greets and leaves you with, the love that he reserves only for you.

all of these things make it easier to face the horrors every time you leave the school because you know when you come home, satoru will be waiting for you with open arms.

without him? you don't know what you would do.

realizing that not having him in your life might soon be a reality, you break down into a sob. the faucet behind your eyes turned on and not stopping anytime soon. you're wailing so loud, it's a surprise no one has come in to investigate.

you grip the ends of the gown on your body, trying to ground yourself. you finally find the ability to speak, shouting i'm sorry over and over.

you're now convinced that satoru has left, leaving you to your own devices.

you're proven wrong when a familiar pair of warm arms wrap themselves around you.

satoru pulls you into his chest and you clutch the fabric of his uniform tightly in your hands. you're sobbing so hard that you think you might be sick.

"i'm sorry satoru, i'm sorry. please don't leave, don't leave me alone."

he doesn't say anything, just continues to hold you and cradle your head, rubbing his hand up and down the expanse of your back.

"i don't want to leave everything. i love my life, especially with you in it."

your sobs have calmed down into hiccups and sniffles, the tears now trickling down your cheeks.

"i-i want to live a long life with you, where we grow old and wrinkly and hobble around with a cane."

that gets a small chuckle out of satoru, "i have to admit baby, you'd look good in a moomoo."

you hit him on the shoulder with a small laugh, but quickly revert back to your serious manner, "i'm not kidding satoru, i love you and i want to be with you on this day, until our last day."

he grabs your face in his hands and angles you so you're looking right at him, "i love you, more than anything, but baby i need you to hear me."

he presses your forehead against his, staring directly into your eyes you can feel it in your soul, "i can't love you the way i want to if you're dead. i need you to promise me that you will look after yourself, i won't always be there to keep you in check. i need you to come back to me in one piece."

you think over it for a moment, satoru wants what's best for you, and you should want that too.

you whisper softly, afraid of ruining the moment, "i promise."

you seal the promise with a kiss, running your hands through satoru's hair while he grabs you by your waist to pull you closer.

you kiss each other with a newfound passion, the love you share untethered.

"jesus christ, really?"

"it's a miracle they didn't do anything else on this bed."

you try to pull away, flustered at being caught, but gojo keeps on kissing you with fervor. of course, not without throwing his middle finger up at his friends who chuckle behind him.

#satoru gojo x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #squid writes

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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 1 year ago

Text

"are you longing, is it Killing Time?"

"if i’m honest, think i want it. no more talking, no more nonsense."

synopsis// you work at a ballet studio and suna works at the karate dojo next door.

pairing// rintaro suna x gn!reader

word count// 3.9k

contents// ooc suna? idk he's like kinda smug in this... ive never written for him before so heed my warning. slight enemies to lovers but like kinda not really. osamu's obligatory accent. plot kinda speaks for itself i have no other warnings besides the fact that this kinda (majorly) sucks...

requested// by an anon!! im SO sorry this took me so long to write!!

notes// i know i said id never write for haikyuu again but i lied ok? take it. do what you will with this. sorry if this is all over the place... i feel very out of my element writing for haikyuu again LMFAO. also if anything mentioned about karate or ballet is wrong sorry!! i took ballet ONCE and taken karate never xoxo tbh i think the plot probably wouldve worked better as an smau but im not doin all that (respectfully.) anywho this was also inspired by killing time by movements (TOOOO GOOODDDDD)

Classical music and the whispers of the kids eight-counting their steps echo throughout the room. Everything is peaceful and as it should be... That is, until the mirror walls begin to vibrate violently from the sudden blaring of music from the studio next to yours. All the kids turn to look at you, confused about what’s happening, and you flash them a small apologetic smile.

“You guys keep practicing, okay? I'm gonna go next door and ask them to turn it down.”

Satisfied with your guidance, they nod, and you quickly walk out. Though not comfortable leaving a bunch of children unsupervised, you leave your studio door open to make sure that you’re still able to hear them from outside. You sigh before walking into the next studio; frankly, you had gotten this far without having to interact with anyone else, and you just wished it would stay that way. Neither the kids nor their instructor seem to notice your presence. And even though you clear your throat, no one hears you.

“Excuse me!”

Suddenly all heads are turning toward you, and you reflexively dig your feet into the floor to stop yourself from running back out. Their instructor waves the kids off, having them go back to practicing whatever karate move he had just taught them before walking up to you.

"Can I help you?” he says, his eyes boring into yours.

And suddenly. Suddenly, you hate him. Or, at the very least, strongly dislike him. He blasts his music, knowing damn well the walls are thin, and then has the audacity to give you attitude?

“Are you gonna say something, or are you just gonna stand there all day?” He stops and briefly looks you up and down, a small smirk playing on his face. "Actually, I wouldn’t mind that.”

Your jaw clenches, giving him the nicest smile you very well could muster. “Can you turn down your music? It’s distracting my kids.”

He hums and appears to consider it for a moment, and you're almost grateful—almost, because then he has to open his stupid mouth again.

“Maybe if you say please.”

Your eye twitches. "Okay, you know what? Nevermind." You glance over at his students briefly, making sure they aren't looking at the two of you, and when you confirm that they aren't, you flip him off, and all he does is laugh. You groan, and if you could slam his studio door shut without the glass shattering, you would.

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

To no one’s surprise, he didn't stop playing his music at full volume—he claimed it pumped the kids up, and sure, maybe it did, but all it did was distract your own. And eventually, you two somehow fell into a game of who could play whose music louder. Considering your music consisted of different ballet numbers, it's safe to say he always won.

Week after week, you'd show up in his studio and ask him to just turn his music off, to lower the volume, to do something other than drive you crazy, but all he'd do was poorly flirt and smirk, his eyes always on you one way or another, and if you weren't so annoyed by him, you’re sure you would have found him captivating. It's not surprising when one day he’s the one showing up at your studio—you're actually excited about it, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he’s finally given up and is here to apologize. When you approach him and find all his students outside behind him, you quickly realize that's not the case. You glance between him and the kids.

“You guys go in and make friends, yeah?” You say as you move out the way to allow his students into your studio. You wait until they're all inside before stepping out and closing the door behind you. You whisper harshly, “What the fuck do you want?”

"Wow, you use that kind of language around your students?” He asks, his smirk all too evident on his face as he crosses his arms.

You stare at him blankly, no amusement etched on any of your features, and he awkwardly clears his throat.

“Our studio flooded.”

“Okay… What does that have to do with me?"

His shoulders slump as he groans. "Oh, c’mon.”

“How am I supposed to know what you want if you won't use your words like a big boy?” you ask, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

He glares at you, and for once, it seems like you're the one getting under his skin. “Fuck you.”

You mockingly tut and shake your head. "Wow, you use that kind of language around your kids?”

He stands there and kicks at the sidewalk, clearly having some internal debate you don’t care enough to ask about, but he tells you anyway.

“Would you… be willing to share your studio with us until they fix our studio?”

Without missing a beat, you laugh. “Yeah no. I don't even know your name... What if you're some serial killer?”

“First of all, it's Rintaro Suna. Second of all, do you really think they would hire me to work around kids if I was a serial killer?”

You shrug. You don’t care about the logistics; you just don’t want him in your studio.

“And third of all, seriously?” He crosses his arms, and his tone is full of the kind of disappointment you'd only find in a friend who’s been betrayed—not in between two strangers who’ve done nothing but “fight” about music for weeks on end.

“Yes seriously. Can’t you find a new studio?”

“Owner says it’s more expensive to do that than fix whatever got fucked up.”

“Then find someone else to share with,” you say as you turn to walk back into your studio.

Suna grabs your wrist, and as you look over your shoulder at him, he pouts. "Are you really gonna take this out on the kids just because you hate me?”

You stare at him blankly, but the more you think about it and let what he’s said sink in, the softer your face becomes, and suddenly your conviction is nowhere to be found—just another leaf blown away in the wind. “How did your studio flood?”

Happy with how you don’t seem like you're about to escape off into your studio anymore, Suna lets go of your wrist and starts explaining, “Well, one kid clogged the toilet and the other left the sink running.”

“Deserved,” you say through a snort.

“Whatever. Are you gonna share or not?”

“Fine,” you sigh. "But I swear to god, Suna, the second you piss me off or don’t listen, I'm kicking your ass out. This is still my studio.”

"Technically, it’s not even yours.”

You stare at him blankly, eyes narrowed, and Suna can immediately tell you’re already thinking about taking back your offer of letting him stay in your studio.

He coughs awkwardly. "I'll shut up now.”

“Good choice.”

A beat passes between the two of you just staring at each other, and when Suna realizes you won't say anything more, he takes the initiative.

Tilting his head at you, he asks, "So, are you gonna tell me your name now?”

You continue staring at him blankly.

"Oh, cmon, we’re gonna be sharing a studio now.”

“It's Y/n L/n.”

"Well, Y/n,” he says, somewhat dragging out your name before teasing, "I always knew you had a soft spot for me.”

"I have a soft spot for the kids, not you,” you correct him, crossing your arms.

“Keep telling yourself that,” he says, brushing your shoulder with his as he walks past you and into your studio.

“Don’t just walk into my studio like you own it?!" you call out, following after him.

“Not your studio, and you don’t own it either.”

“You know what I mean, Suna!”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

It's almost scary how easily Suna and his students fit into your class. It didn’t even take a week for you to feel like having him in your studio was natural—how it should have always been. You hated how any ill-will you had toward him would suddenly vanish into thin air whenever you saw him interact with his or your students. You grew accustomed to your new routine with him.

Every other day, he could play his music and even teach some of your students some karate if they so desired, and vice versa. He’d bring you breakfast, and you'd bring him lunch, and sometimes the two of you would even go have dinner once all your students had left. You hated how he just wiggled his way into your life. You’re supposed to hate him—he used to play his music as loud as he could just to piss you off, and now you have dinner with him practically every day.

You’ve grown so fond of him that now, two months later, about to be three, you've completely forgotten why he’s here in the first place—that his residence in your studio is only temporary, and he’s just here till his studio is fixed. You’ve forgotten all about it because now you look forward to seeing him and actually want to see him more than you've ever wanted anything else before. and he feels the exact same because here he is, slumped in a chair in the back of the room, frowing as he watches his and your students combined because you’re not here.

The door swings open, and Suna can't help but let out a sigh of relief, practically jumping out of his seat, ready to go run and spin you in his arms like some shitty rom-com, only to find that it wasn't you who walked in; nope, it was just his friend. Suna’s face falls as he drops back into his chair with a groan.

“Okay, lovely to see ya too,” Osamu snorts as he walks over to Suna, taking the seat next to him.

He weakly tries pushing Osamu out of the chair, mumbling, “That’s Y/n’s seat.”

"Well, they aren't here, are they?”

Suna scowls at him but gives up trying to push him out nonetheless.

“Where are they anyway?”

“Running late, I guess.”

Osamu hums in response, and a comfortable silence falls over them. The only noise in the room was the kids whispering their next move to themselves or helping their friend with something. Suna watches them intently, with the care and attention of someone handling glass, and quickly finds a few students who need help.

"Hey, keep your leg straight when you kick,” he calls out to one of his students before turning to one of yours, “And you bend your knees more when you do your... uh-“

"Plié," the child supplies for him.

Suna nods. "Yeah, that whatever.”

Osamu doesn't know whether he should laugh at or side-eye Suna. “Do ya not know their names?”

"I don’t get paid enough to know their names.”

He shakes his head, deciding that commenting on that is not worth his time, and instead goes to why he came here in the first place. "I'm surprised yer still here, to be honest.”

"A job is a job.”

"No, I mean in this studio. I figured the repairs in yer’s would be finished by now; it’s been like, what? almost three months?”

Suna mumbles a slow, drawn-out, “…yeah.”

Osamu sits up straight, shifting in his seat to face Suna entirely. “What the fuck was that?”

“Don’t cuss in front of the kids; what’s wrong with you?" He reprimands, slapping Osamu’s arm.

“Don’t change the subject.”

"I'm not; I'm just saying.”

Osamu rolls his eyes. "Okay, well, start by saying what’s up with the repairs.”

He does not. “Y/n will be back soon; you should leave.”

“Suna,” Osamu monotones.

"If I tell you, will you leave?”

“What did ya do, Suna?”

Suna looks away as he embarrassedly mumbles, “The repairs could’ve been done a long, long time ago…”

“What?!” Osamu practically shrieks as he sits up straight. “What do ya mean?!”

Suna glares at Osamu before looking toward the kids, whose attentions were caught by Osamu yelling and waving them off. “Ignore him.”

“Oh my god, have ya been stalling the repairs?” He asks, this time quietly. “Why would ya do that?”

“Why do you think, Osamu?”

Suna’s attitude does nothing to deter Osamu, not when he’s just had the realization of a lifetime. “Oh my god... Oh my god! Ya have a crush on Y/n, don't ya?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Suna hisses through clenched teeth, his eyes wide and threateningly boring into his.

“What happened to not cussing in front of the kids?”

Suna stares at him blankly, and Osamu merely sighs, slumping back into his seat.

"I can't believe this. I don't know if this is pathetic or cute—kinda both, to be honest.”

"Osamu, I swear-“

With neither of them having heard the studio door swing open, you unknowingly interrupt his threat: "Hey! Sorry, traffic was horrible—oh, who’s this?"

“Doesn't matter; he was just about to leave,” Suna says without missing a beat while standing straight up.

"I'm Osamu,” he says, suddenly approaching you. “And yer the infamous Y/n, I'm assuming?”

“Infamous..?” you question under your breath before shaking your head and deciding to ignore it. “Uh yeah—are you friends with Suna?”

“No.”

“Yes,” Osamu answers, ignoring Suna’s response. "I should get going, though. Nice meeting ya, Y/n!”

“Yeah, you too…”

Osamu waves you goodbye before winking at Suna and disappearing out the door.

You hum. “So what was that about?”

“No idea,” Suna shrugs as he walks away to gather his students.

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

Suna has been weird ever since a week ago, when you walked into the studio to Suna and his friend. He’s avoided you as best as he can, and even when he’s not actively trying to somehow get away from you, he still feels Pluto far from his more than dry replies. And frankly, you’ve had enough. You’re driving yourself crazy trying to figure out what you’ve done wrong and how to fix it—you can’t know unless he tells you.

Which is why, when both of your students left, you borderline kidnapped him. You grabbed him by his arm and dragged him into your car, driving the two of you to a restaurant, where you now sit in an awkward silence waiting for your food. But this is good, right? If he truly didn’t want to be in this position with you right now, you’re more than certain he could’ve put up a winning fight, yet he didn't, so that’s good. This is good.

"Did I do something?”

“Yeah,” he replies without missing a beat or looking up at you.

“Huh?” Your heart is in your throat as you blink at him. “What did I do?”

“Exist.”

“What?” You shake your head in disbelief. "I thought we were getting along."

“We are—god.” As he finally looks up at you, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. You almost feel like you're back in his studio for the very first time with the way his eyes are boring into yours. “We get along too well, jesus christ, Y/n, you drive me crazy.”

“And you don’t drive me crazy?” you ask, giving him a crooked smile.

“You don't know what you’re saying,” he says flatly, yet the way it’s almost breathless has you thinking maybe he actually wants you to know what you’re saying—to know all of the implications that come with it and fully embrace them.

“Does it matter? Just stop ignoring me, Suna; I hate it.”

"I hate it too.”

“So then why are you doing it, idiot?”

“Because Y/n, I-“

You stare at him expectantly, patiently waiting for his answer.

"I get too distracted with you; I need to teach my students," he mumbles the rest of his sentence as he looks away from you, your scrutinizing gaze sending shivers down his spine and crushing any idea he had to say something else—say the truth—well, the whole truth, because you very well do distract Suna far too much for his liking.

“That sounds like a shitty excuse.”

Suna hums, and when he makes no move to explain himself, you wonder, “Why do I distract you so much?”

“Why do you care if I ignore you so much?”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t act childish, Suna.”

Suna merely raises an eyebrow at you, still waiting for your answer, just like you were waiting for his only a few moments ago.

You sigh. "I'm not sure.”

"Well, I am, so I won’t say anything until you're sure too.”

“That’s not fair, Sunaaaa,” you whine, sliding down your seat like a petulant child.

He shrugs, a slight smirk on his face. "I'm more than happy to wait.”

"Whatever, just stop ignoring me?”

"Yeah, I'll stop,” he says, nodding. “Sorry bout that.”

"S'fine." You wave him off before remembering something that makes you sit up straight again. "Oh, also, I've been meaning to ask about how your studio is going?”

Suna’s mood and face drop so fast that it’s as if he was never even happy or smiling in the first place—the temperature of the room suddenly icy cold. “Oh.”

"I'm not trying to kick you out, Suna,” you immediately add, reassuring him that, as of now, that's the last thing you’d ever want to do. "I actually like you in my studio... like a lot, I guess, and I don't know, to be honest, I'm scared I'm getting too used to you being there."

"Well, I'm already used to it, so either way, we’re both kinda fucked in that department.”

You can't help but smile so wide it hurts your cheeks, absolutely over the moon that he feels the exact same way. That he’s grown so used to you, like the two of you should have never been apart in the first place, and it was always only a matter of time before you found your way to each other.

"I'm not sure, though. I haven’t heard much,” he continues, interrupting your inner swooning.

"Okay, well, that’s good then,” you say, nodding more to yourself than to him. “No need to get rid of you so soon; who else will annoy me?”

"Weren't you just begging me to stop ignoring you, and now I'm annoying?” he taunts.

You cross your arms, glaring at him. "I was not begging Rintaro Suna.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Shut up," you say through a smile, no hostility anywhere in you. “Oh also! The kids wanted me to tell you about our recital coming up.”

“Yeah? When is it?”

“Week from now. They really want you there.”

Suna tilts his head slightly to the side, his eyes narrowing at you in doubt. “Just them?”

“Just them.”

Suna doesn't believe it for a second, and maybe he would’ve if your voice wasn't so shakey and breathless.

You relent; you never had much resolve when it came to him anyway—that's how he ended up in your studio in the first place, isn't it? “And me too, I guess.”

A blush that he makes look all too good covers his cheeks. "I'd love to go, Y/n.”

“Great!”

Suddenly his face drops, and he’s cursing under his breath, "Shit, wait, actually, we have a tournament that day too.”

"Oh, that's fine! I mean, being in the studio with us, it's like you get a free recital every day, right?” You smile, but even then, it's clear as day how disappointed you are.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I can still try to make it.”

“No no! It's fine; you won't miss much. You have your own kids stuff to worry about.”

Suna frowns, wanting nothing more than to wipe that dejected look off your face. “Y/n.”

"Suna, it's fine, really." You weakly try to reassure him, but he’s just not budging.

He shakes his head. "I'll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Okay, I'll hold you to it then.”

☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。*。☆。☆。

The recital came faster than you cared for. You would be excited for this had Suna been able to come, but he couldn't, and now, even though you know he won't be here, you still can't help but peek through the stage curtains, hoping and praying you'll somehow spot him in the crowd. You try to keep your disappointment at bay the whole recital, and surprisingly you do. The recital goes off without a hitch, and the only thing you can wish for is that you were more excited. Your little ones did absolutely amazing and completely blew the crowd away, yet here you are moping around over some dude who, up until a few months ago, you hated.

“They did amazing,” an oddly familiar voice says, breaking you out of your thoughts. "I'm sure it's only because of their teacher... Do you know them? I'm actually looking for them.”

You're flattered, really, but you can't deal with compliments or holding a conversation right now, not when you want to just crawl under your bed covers and never come out. Not to mention that no one else is supposed to be backstage right now. You sigh before turning around to ask them to leave, only to practically jump out of your skin with excitement.

“Suna!” you exclaim happily, running your way toward him and closing some of the gap between you two. “You’re here, but how? Where were you? I looked, and I couldn't find you—wait, I thought? Where's your kids? Shouldn't you be at their tournament?”

Suna watches you ramble with the softest of faces, huffing a small laugh. He shrugs once you're done. “Samu took over.”

“Rintaro Suna.”

“What? The little shits will get over it… but I don't think you would've if I didn't show up.”

"Well, I would've tried.” You take another step toward him. "Though I can't say you're not a smart man, Rintaro.”

Suna eyes you curiously and follows your movements, taking a step toward you. “So I've been told.”

You roll your eyes, despite an undeniable smile dressing your face, and in some fit of arrogance, you take the last step toward Suna, thus closing any remaining space between the two of you. With your chests touching, there’s nothing left for you to do but wrap your arms around his neck, which you do with ease—as if they were always meant to be there this whole time. He quickly follows your lead, resting his hands on your waist. But his eyebrows are furrowed as if to ask if this is okay, and you nod. This is more than okay—you’d actually prefer more, and it doesn’t seem like he’s getting the hint.

“So are you gonna kiss me, or are you just gonna stand there all day?"

Suna goes wide-eyed, and it takes a minute for his body to catch up with his brain, but before you know it, Suna is practically slamming his face into yours, kissing you like if he doesn't, he’ll die. like you’re the very oxygen Suna has been so desperately searching for all his life—and who's to say he isn't yours as well? Meeting his lips with the same exact urgency, you're sure if anyone else was backstage right now, the two of you would be scolded for years to come. Suna pulls away for air, practically panting; his face is flushed with such a deep red you can still make it out even under the dim lights, and you push strands of his hair out of his face just to revel in his blush some more.

Still struggling to catch his breath, he swallows harshly. “Would it ruin the moment if I told you my studio is finally fixed?”

"Yes, so I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that and keep kissing you instead.”

"Yeah, ok, I like that idea better anyway.”

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #suna rintarou #suna x reader #suna rintarō #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x reader #suna haikyuu #haikyuu suna #suna fluff #rintaro suna #bimbo’s one shots #bimbo’s one shots; haikyuu

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the-guilty-writer · 2 years ago

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Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Request from @steveharringtonsgirl04: Hey! I have a request you can totally say not to it but it just keeps coming back in my head lol soo dad hotch x teen reader where she just wants her dad to hold her :( like all the hotch hugs so he takes her to the BAU and nobody knows he has a daughter btw I absolutely adore your writing it’s literally my favorite!

Aaron Hotchner x daughter!reader

Summary: Hard days are always made better by Hotchner hugs.

A/N: I fully admit that I am lacking in creativity at the moment and I don’t love the “secret family” trope, so this is just short and fluffy Hotch being the best dad

CW: reader gets her period, mentions of vomiting, suggestion that reader’s mother is Haley but could always be adopted or from another relationship

---

“Everyone has his day and some last longer than others.”

Well, you were having your day. And it was bad. Before the lunch bell rang for the day you’d already gotten a terrible night sleep, had Jack spill juice on your favorite top, been late for class, gotten locked out of your locker, tripped over your own feet causing you to face plant in front of the upperclassmen, and gotten your period.

It was safe to say that you were having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

You riffled through your backpack, looking for the bottle of Advil to ease the cramps, but when you found it, it was empty. You cursed under your breath.

Terrible. Horrible. No Good. Very Very Bad Day.

With the knowledge that you’d be unable to get through the rest of the day without being in pain, you swallowed your pride and went to the nurse’s office.

“I’m going to have to call a parent or guardian to bring you something,” the older lady told you. “It’s against school policy for me to give students medication without a doctor's note. Is there someone I can call?”

Usually the answer would have been Jessica, but for once she was the guardian who was out of town.

“Yeah, um, my dad,” you said.

The nurse gave you a sympathetic look and left. She came back a few minutes later. “He’s on his way,” she informed you.

Feeling exhausted and uncomfortable, all you could do was nod.

---

When Hotch walked into the nurse’s office an hour later, he thought you might be on the verge of vomiting. While you tried to look as stoic as him, the paleness of your face gave away how you were actually feeling, and the guilt that he couldn’t get there sooner made his heart sink.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted you, sitting next to you on the cot. He pulled a bottle of Advil from his pocket and handed it to you.

“Thanks.” Your hands were slow but your voice was grateful. “Sorry you had to drive all the way here.”

“No need to apologize.” He kissed your forehead before you downed the pills. You leaned into him slightly and he wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”

“‘S not your fault,” your voice was muffled by his suit. You leaned into him and he held you gladly. Just like your mom, you’d always liked hugs, even more so when you hurt.

“Do you want to come to work with me?” he asked. “You can come lay on the couch in my office for the rest of the day.”

You didn’t even question it. “Yes, please."

He signed you out at the front desk. You got a few funny looks, probably doubts that your cramps were really bad enough that you needed the rest of the day off school, but nobody was going to question the glock on your dad's hip or the ID on his shirt.

He helped you into the car, always showing you how any future partner you have should treat you. By the time he climbed into the drivers side, you were already slumped against the door, fast asleep. A gentle smile crept over Hotch’s face as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, careful not to wake you, and then began driving to the office at Quantico.

---

“Do you need anything?” Your dad asked before he sat down at his desk.

You were curled up on the couch in his office, a warm cup of tea on the small table in front of you and a fuzzy blanket. Halfway through the drive, your dad had stopped to get your favorite food. You had your laptop out so you could relax and watch your favorite movies. Really, you had everything.

“A hug?” you requested. That was the one thing he’d never say no to. He sat beside you on the couch and pulled you into a hug- the safest feeling in the world. As he let go, he kissed your forehead and then pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders.

You put the headphones on and turned on the movie. Your dad began his paperwork.

It was no longer a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x daughter!reader #aaron hotchner x child!reader #hotch x daughter!reader #hotch x child!reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x platonic!reader #criminal minds x teen!reader #criminal minds x daughter!reader #criminal minds x child!reader

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desire-mona · 7 months ago

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why i think richard cameron is Like That

the long awaited cam analysis post of sorts!!!

so to start off, let me acknowledge the obvious: CAMERON SUCKED FOR WHAT HE DID TO HIS FRIENDS. THAT WAS MEAN AND SHITTY OF HIM, HE DESERVED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE AND HE DESERVED TO HAVE HIS FRIENDS STOP LIKING HIM. this post is just to paint a more nuanced picture of the motivations and reasoning behind his cam-ness. also i feel the need to address that my love for dylan kussman HEAVILY influences my opinion on cameron, so please keep that in find when u read this. if my bias shows at any point then feel free to offer your perspective, odds are i'll find a way to agree :3

lets start at the very beginning of the movie, his first appearance with the tradition banner. this obviously wasn't anything i rly thought of in depth on my first watch, but on my second watch i was like oh Hm.

tradition, of course, is a BIG aspect of welton that the movie repeatedly emphasises, drawing lots of attention to how nothing changes. i find cam holding the tradition banner especially interesting in relativity to neil holding the excellence banner specifically. cam very clearly tries his best to embody the rules of welton (more on this later) and very rarely deviates from those rules, although he does on occasion (again - more on this later.) but despite his attempts to be the manifestation of those values are never met with any praise, unlike neil. that's not to say that neil isn't deserving of that praise though, absolutely he is deserving, but in terms of academics specifically, cam's pretty up there too! this part doesnt exactly tie in directly with the rest of the post, but just thought id point it out first to add a layer to the rest of my thoughts.

how i view cam's character arc is something that's framed in a way thats not supposed to be viewed as an arc, i suppose (interesting considering the tradition thing hm). of course thats inaccurate as he does in fact have in arc, it just small in relation to the more forefront-ed poets. and it makes him ultimately less likeable, so.

during a majority of the movie (pre neil death) cam is known as the guy who doesnt like to break rules, that much is obvious, but in the end he still does with the dead poets society. now the reasoning behind that isnt actually touched on in a direct way, so there are a few different ways you can view that. i'll touch on a few different reasonings that me, @pencileraser1, and @good--merits-accumulated came up with.

my reasoning - i see cam's willingness to break the rules as cam holding his friends' idea of him on a high pedestal, constantly taking into consideration what they think. not wanting his friends to consider him a loser or boring in any way, he joins despite the anxiety surrounding being caught. not without fuss though, he does still outwardly talk about how this isnt something they should be doing. all this and yet he does in fact join, AND he doesnt rat anyone out for a majority of the movie (even after the call from god dealio!!!) fomo, basically.

nick's reasoning (found in this post) - he just wanted his friends to be safe!!! joining to (in my view) keep them in line in terms of safety as well as. i guess. provide the reminder of the consequences i suppose?? nick im opening up the floor to u if u wanna delve into this point more cuz ur definitely able to provide better reasoning n such. if asking nick to talk abt things was a full time job.

tristan's reasoning (discussed in dms) - cam's need for authority. tristan brought up a very good headcanon/ theory/ something or other that cam is the type to need constant direction or authority, and i totally agree! (reason for that will - again - come up later.) now this culminates in a couple different ways. 1) most obviously, adhereing (ehh) to the rules of welton, and 2) his relationship with the rest of the poets. due to the size of the welton student body, a lack of individual direction from teachers and staff is almost inevitable. so to fill that gap, he adheres to his friends' """"""rules"""""", and joins the poets. floor is open to you as well if you'd like to elaborate further, tristan :3

my thoughts of cam being super focused on his friends' idea of him actually started as a bit. i believe i made a hc post about smoking weed?? maybe?? and said something along the lines of "cam would smoke even if he doesnt want to, not cuz of peer pressure from his friends but more of a self imposed peer pressure. thinking its rude/ cringe/ uncool to turn down smthn like this bc all the rest of the guys r doing it." but after a rewatch of the scene in dps where theyre all walking outside, it started having some merit in my mind! in that scene, keating does a sort of imitation of cameron when he first starts to walk, something like "am i doing this right?", "am i walking weird?", etc. (paraphrasing ofc.) so i sort of took that aspect and applied it to other parts of his character and found out that oh, this actually kinda makes sense!

speaking of keating and his lessons, lets talk carpe diem.

now my interpretation of cam is that he doesn't exactly *want* to apply carpe diem in his life, seeing it as an antithesis of the welton values. only joining the poets for the reasons mentioned above. however, he does indeed apply it in my eyes, but more as a fucked up reversal and dickish version which eventually ends up in him deservedly getting punched. now is this how keating intended him to interpret carpe diem? ehhhhhhhhhhhhh,, it's complicated, let's talk about the context a bit.

this part is more theorising than anything, so take it with a few grains of salt if u wish.

cam quite obviously is a pretty big stickler for the rules, which i believe is a result of outside influence. id like to thank @lovech1ld for reminding me of this! cam's parents/ grandparents/ guardians are noticably older than the other poets, which, in my eyes, makes a heavy emphasis on following the rules make a lot more sense (respect your elders type shit.) so this, combined with the inherent fear of authority that most of the boys seem to have, makes him a chronic rule follower. but it goes further than that, after these ideas have been pushed for so long, i feel that cameron's started to mix up his own personal morals and values with the morals and values of welton, viewing those two things as one in the same. here's where that starts to muddy things up in terms of carpe diem.

i interpret cam's finking AS his application of carpe diem in his life, but as more of a subconscious choice. now you may be thinking "hey. mona. what?" and i UNDERSTAND! but here's my reasoning behind that. as i mentioned/ theorised before, cam has a very high opinion of his friends' idea of him, but this does eventually change after neil's passing. his subconscious carpe diem application, to put it into proper words, was a way to stick up for himself and his beliefs despite what all his friends think. again, being brought about by neils death, since he didn't choose to rat anyone out when the opportunity first presented itself during the call from god assembly. and i dont think cam sticking up for himself is inherently a bad thing!! but! since cam's idea of his morals are so clouded by welton's, this isn't actually sticking up for himself, this is just being a tattletale.

he did provide other reasoning for doing so to the poets of course, so lets talk a bit about that too. he says something along the lines of "i did it for neil" and "this is what he wouldve wanted" which is obviously bullshit, objectively. but i don't think he saw it that way, i think he genuinely believed thats what he thought neil would've wanted, as stupid of him as that was. obviously thats not what he wouldve wanted AT ALL, and why he actually thought that is FAR beyond me. but i really dont think he wouldve turned anyone in if he didnt genuinely believe it, especially considering the fact that he was PART of the dead poets. even if he was the one to confess, im sure he likely got punished as well. (which also couldve been what he wanted? tristan this is an opening to also discuss catholic cam on here bc ur reasonings for that were INCREDIBLE.)

on top of this, i really dont think that cam actually understood the weight of what turning in everyone would do. now i will say right away, hes not dumb, he knew that keating would be fired and charlie would be expelled, and that alone should've turned him away if he really wanted to honor neil. as i said before we started, he absolutely deserved to be punched and lose his friends, that was a dick move that ended up ruining two lives for a long long time, if not forever.

but.

due to him grieving, his rules = morals shtick, and fear of authority, i think he turned in the poets without giving actual, proper thought into what the consequences of that would be. which manifests itself both in the film with the final scene.

in the last scene where all of the boys stand on the desk, we see multiple shots of cam looking around and looking at everyone standing. and we (or at least i) can definitely see some sort of consideration to join them!!! he of course doesnt, and ends up choosing to sit, looking QUITE ashamed. this too can he interpreted a couple ways, either as him being embarrassed that his peers are doing this, or as him wanting to join them but knowing that he was the reason keating was fired. knowing that it would be incredibly disingenuous, even if he stood as a way to sort of apologise to keating + the poets for what he did and show that he regrets his actions, he stayed seated. and was so. so. mad at himself for it.

now i don't remember where i heard this so im not sure how to go about fact checking, but i believe the choice to keep cam seated was ultimately dylan kussman's?????? but dont take my word as gospel in terms of that, i very well could be wrong.

BUT! this gives me an opportunity to talk abt how much i love dylan kussman!!!!! nick vocalised the thought before i was able to in one of his posts, but considering the fact that i agree wholeheartedly, i'll reiterate it. i see rsl and ethan hawke constantly be praised (deservedly!) for their understanding of the inner workings of their characters, especially reflected in the desk set scene. and while YES ABSOLUTELY, i think dylan needs this praise as well. dylan was the PERFECT casting choice for cameron and i will shout that from the rooftops until my voice goes hoarse. so so so many of his little mannerisms, facial expressions, ways of speaking, soooo many etceteras are just so. so. CAMERON! even the most comprehensive directorial choices cant top an actor's inherent understanding of a character and reflection of that in their performance. good god! i think my new dream in life is to ask dylan about how he came about properly embodying cameron and his process in doing so.

anyway

with my dylan fanfare over, that about wraps up my thoughts on cam in terms of the film itself. HOWEVER. i have lots and lots of thoughts after a long convo with tristan about certain headcanons and post-canon theories and whatever. will probably touch on those but i dont really have my thoughts properly collected enough, so that wont be until later.

as per usual with these types of posts, everyone else is welcome to add any input they may have. cam is one of my fav things to talk abt in terms of dps so i will eat up every single little thing. thank u for reading!!!!

#desire mona #WOO MAN #this took a while #but we're done!! finally!!!#dead poets society #richard cameron #dylan kussman #banger

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spideyslag · 10 months ago

Text

Despite earning his living through… legally and morally questionable means, Barnes is not actually a bad guy or a bad person. He’s just a normal guy with a job like anyone else.

That’s his explanation to himself when he finds the wallet.

Small, beat up thing, with a student ID in the front window which thank god has a New York State drivers license behind it, and a single bank card that looks like it’s seen war in one of the slots. There’s a library card which seems to belong to somewhere in queens, and an old photo.

Jesus fucking Christ.

He’s not a bad guy. He’s actually a good person. That’s what he says when he opens Facebook and types in Peter Parker and is oh so relived when he sees the first profile pop up looks just like the photo on the ID in his hand.

Hey there sorry did this is weird but I just found your wallet. Should I bring it to the address on ur license or is there somewhere better? He types out.

It takes not a minute for the kid to answer.

Because the damned kids these days

Oh my good you’re a lifesaver thank you so much. Is it weird if I ask where you found it? I don’t want you to go all the way to queens if you’re in Manhattan. If, by any chance you’re in the village right now I’m working at a coffee shop off WSP. If you’re in the area can you drop it with me there and I’ll give you a drink as a token of my appreciation? you’re a real lifesaver thank you so much I can’t say thank you enough.

Bucky is, in fact, not far. Found it in the 7/11 in union square. I’ll be right in

That makes sense I must have dropped it getting my pre class monster. You’re a Saint. Thank you so much again.

Bucky beat a man to death last night.

Unrelated.

Some college kid named Peter Parker called him a Saint.

Newly found sainthood. Saint James, patron saint of zip ties.

Bucky walks into the aforementioned coffee shop and sees him immediately. He’s remarkable to look at, maybe that’s half of why he was so invested in this little mitzvot of his. None of the other people working are half as worth watching as him.

He’s handsome. Young and healthy and handsome. But he’s also pretty. There’s no denying it.

He calls out “I’ll be with you in a minute!”, not looking up, as he manages to unjam an espresso machine and scribbles an order on a cup before handing it to someone else.

“H-“

He looks up and his breath hitches and stutters, cheeks dusting pink.

Then he’s fine again.

“Hi! what can I get you?”.

Bucky looks up and feels like the old fuck he is, not knowing half the vaguely Italian-esque words on the menu.

“… I can get like, a normal americano right?” He’s vaguely familiar with that one, curtesy of nat insisting ‘it’s just like, strong coffee’.

Peter laughs. “Of corse you can. Sorry, I know it’s dumb we don’t list our drip either. I would have a panic attack if I came in here as a customer. Is 2 shots okay?”

“Two shots is great. And if I could get a splash of cream”

“Of corse”.

“Thanks, peter.”

Confusion and regrettable anxiety etches Peter’s face as he pulls the wallet out of his coat pocket, and understanding and calm flashes in peters eyes.

“Oh! It’s you! Thank you so much oh my god. Bucky, right?”.

Bucky nods dumbly.

“Don’t thank me, it’s fine. Just doing the right thing”

“Can I get you something else? Do you want a cookie or something?”

“No it’s fine you’re already sweet enough with the coffee, sweetheart”

“Nope. You’re getting a s’mores cookie too. That’s that.”

Bucky chuckles as peter hands the scribbled on cup to another girl, stepping aside to keep talking as someone takes his spot taking orders.

“Thank you a million times really-“

“You’re welcome. Don’t worry about it”

“No you don’t understand, really”.

Peter opens the wallet, and bucky wants to chuckle because this kid doesn’t know him, sure, but he spends more than what this kid makes in a week in a day.

“I didn’t take-“

Words fall on his lips as he takes out a photo. an old one, lip wobbling.

He’s giving a valiant effort not to cry, not to show it, but it’s in vain.

“I was really really scared i lost this for good. You have no idea how much this means to me thank you.”

Peter looks in the wallet as he stores the photo back safely.

“Wait That’s not mine-“ he starts looking at the large bills in it.

“Sure it is”

“Sir-“

“Please god don’t call me that .you’re a college kid, right? God knows you need it and I have too much of it. Consider it your super lucky day”.

“I can’t-“

“Sure you can. Textbooks don’t buy themselves. Dont think too much about it. Really.”

When bucky gets his cup, he shouldn’t be surprised there’s a phone number on it.

#winterspider

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hp-confessions · 4 months ago

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Seeing Snape and marauders fans argue all the time is like the live reenactment of the characters in a nutshell.

Both will continue arguing over their takes on that era and how their sides are the better choice. However, no one, or at least most of each community refuses to listen to each other. Instead they keep arguing as if it’s going to solve things.

Usually it’s always just reduced to petty insults.

“Snape deserved to get bullied” On a snape slander post.

“stan bambi” on any and EVERYpositive tt centered around snape.

“She should’ve gotten with snape anyways” on a jily post.

The same thing happens in the book. Insert the name calling.

Then there’s the apologists/victim blamers.

“Snape didn’t do anything wrong. he was right to bully children.”

Just because snapes life sucked doesn’t mean he’s just allowed to take it out on others?

“They were just fifteen.”

Unclothing someone, the shrieking shack incident , and probably having multiple 4v1 isn’t justifiable by any means.

“they matured”

Seeing as sirius still calls snape snivilous at his grown age, snape taking any moment he can to slander any of them, or just remus brushing things under the rug id say that yeah no the fuck they didn’t.

“snape saying mudblood was an accident”

He still said it.

“Shrieking shack was an accident”

Remus got exposed and Snape could’vedied.

“We dont know if they completely took off his underwear so it’s not that-“

exactly. we don’t. yet a lot of evidence points towards it but wtv. either way he still took his pants off. That’s assault.

“His father and the rest nearly killed me and tormented me for seven straight years.”

yes, and that’s bad ofc but that doesn’t excuse snape continuing the cycle and doing the same to his students.

”He was a slytherin! He wasn’t a good person!”

pretty sure a first year wasn’t showing any signs of being death eater material but alright..

then there’s the demonizers….😟

“Snapes a pedo because if harry was a girl he’d be creepy towards harry”

WHAT THE FUCK🤢🤮 NO HES NOT OH MY GOD..😨😭 Genuinley what goes through your mind when you think that.. Snaoe would probably still act hateful or if anything he’d absolutelyavoid fem!harry because in this hypothetical situation she was similar to lily. Not because he’s a pedophile but because of TRAUMA????? HELLO???? Seeing ur bully is one thing but seeing ur dead ex bff is another.. just. because. you. think. he. liked. her. mother. does. not. mean. he’s. going. to. become. a. kid. liker. for. her. daughter. just because harry’s a gender bend doesn’t mean snapes going to transform into a creep. how did you even get that from SNAPE of all people. SNAPE. If you haven’t gotten the memo bro DESPIES no he LOATHES the existence of children. he’d be the last person to be a pdo. Yes he does care for them obviously, but in a way of where if a pedo was idk being creepy with a child bro would 🪄💥🧨🔪🧠 off that pedo…

“Sirius tried to murder snape”

….no…he didn’t. if i recalled sirius was not guilty gor murder charges regarding a rat.. like i said earlier, the shrieking shack incident wasnt okay in the slightest but that doesn’t mean it was purposeful attempted murder. they were stupid (no this also doesn’t justify their actions) and thought it’d scare him and obviously didn’t think their little prank through. they weren’t trying to murder him they were just being assholes. i don’t see sirius using remus to kill, ever. a highly dangerous prank apparently? yeah? murder? no,

“____/____ didn’t contribute at all”

Snape, sirius, and remus literally threw away his life to save harry. not pettigrew tho he’s a little bitch rat i hate pettigrew!!!!!!!👺👺

Anyways, to summarize, everyone’s arguing yet never actually trying to achieve anything but submission when that’s quite literally impossible to accomplish. And that’s because no one’s willing to find a common ground and no one wants to actually create logical arguments. Petty insults and cursed theoretical nonsense isn’t going to solve the argument.

Many Snape fans ignore or straight up defend him bullying students and refuse to acknowledge he was in the wrong.

Many marauders fans ignore or straight up defend the bullying and refuse to acknowledge they were in the wrong.

Snape will refuse to back down from Sirius and Lupin and will continue behaving the way he does.

Sirius and Remus will refuse to back down from snape and continue to do the same things they did as schoolboys.

Real or fantasy, this is something that will never be resolved. maybe because no one cares enough to fix it? maybe because they care too much?

either way i guess it’d be nice to say i like snape and not immediately stereotyped as a snape apologist or get made fun of by it from friends. Im not stupid and if anything i like that he’s morally grey. i don’t support his actions, but i like to see characters with faults and put together why they ended up that way. his home life and other (non bullying) aspects of him are relatable and that’s another reason i like him.

i guess it’d be nice to talk to marauders fans and let them yap abt fanfics and for them not to think that i’m going to instantly call them horrible people for liking the marauders. I may not be in the m fandom but that doesn’t mean i won’t be respectful and gen listen to them. i’m sure that marauders fans like relate to the non bullying aspects aswell.

anyways yeah, i kinda just wished the fandom was a little more chill and not a fucking dumpster fire💀💀

#confession #marauders fandom #marauders stans #marauders #severus snape #james potter #lily evans #harry potter

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peachesvanilla · 4 months ago

Text

Dancing with the stranger

description: A red string binds soulmates together, it never breaks or cut or dies down. In a world of pure love and hookups, what if your soulmate turns out to be the person you least expected? What if that person is your professor? Amidst desperation and constant reminder of the red string tying them together, will it get its happy ending or ends up in chaos or worst, with a hook up.

characters: Baekhyun, reader, Chanyeol

genres: angst, soulmate au, professor!Baekhyun, student!reader, age gap

warnings: unedited

taglist: @archernarbeta @andimoon @blue-rainydays @redxbloom

part - 1 part - 2

“ID.” The bouncer extends his hand.

I dig my wallet for my ID and hand him it. He eyes my shaky hands, his head tilting to the right a little, doubts clouding his head. He grabs my ID, checks the card and looks up at me three times to make sure I’m not carrying a fake ID. I grip my wallet tightly with my sweaty hands, and look around the dimly lit area.

Hyejin suggested this club, saying it is the most happening place right now. Hot place to people looking for hookups.

The man behind me is breathing up my neck, crowding all over my personal space. I take a step forward to get away from him but he does the same. I snap back at him, glaring with all my might to scare him off.

He gives a sleek smile, his eyes dropping to my bare shoulders, and the deep cut of my neckline.

“Go in.” The bouncer hands me my ID back, “stay safe.” He shakes his head as I pass by him and join Hyejin inside the club, “kids these days. Can’t wait a little longer.”

I scoff. What does he know?

“Don’t mind them.” Hyejin grabs my hand, “you are smoky hot.” She giggles giving me a once over. “I bet finding a hookup will be easy.” She drags me inside the club, sudden loud music blasting my ears.

The dance floor is crowded. Men and women are occupied in dancing, but with seconds passing I can see their hands disappearing under their partner’s clothes. My neck is hot in embarrassment and fear. What am I doing here?

I’m not one of them. I can’t let anyone other than my soulmate lay a finger on me. How can I even think I can hookup? This is a bad idea. A very bad one.

“I don’t think—” my words fell out to find Hyejin disappeared from my side. Where did she go now? Do I have to go deeper into the club to find her?

My eyes sweep around the loud crowd, the drinks at the counter kept on coming. Dark corners are occupied with couples making out, sometimes I can see three of them. My heart sinks to my stomach, as everything slowly registers in my brain.

No, no, no. I don’t belong here. Shall I go back home and beg Mr.Byun again? Maybe this time if I can show him something new, something… something what? What will make him want me?

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” People’s chant crashes through my thoughts of despair. Few of them push me while making their way around the dance floor joining others in cheering.

Why are they cheering for others to kiss? It’s not even like they are soulmates? A scoff escapes me. All this for a hookup? I turn my back to the crowd, ready to search for Hyejin. Hookups are for losers. Why would they invest so much time in something that will break you apart in the end?

The hickey on Mr.Byun’s neck flashes across my mind. Is it something worthier than having your soulmate?

The crowd cheers, clapping and hooting. Maybe it is. Maybe it is better than burying yourself under a blanket and counting days. I step on the dance floor, pushing myself into the boisterous people.

A couple is kissing. The woman’s back is facing towards me, tipping on her toes to reach her man. His smile is so wide that it can split his face into half, his hand on her neck fingers disappearing into her hair and another one holding her waist. He slowly pulls her towards him, peppering kisses around her lips. Girls beside me coos with a bittersweet smile. Others hold their partner’s hand giving shy smiles to each other.

The man breaks the kiss, tucks her head under his neck, burying her in between his arms. His entire being beaming with happiness.

“Ah, first kiss.” The girl beside me says, holding her hand on her barely covered chest. “Innocent days.” She turns to the man beside her and winks.

“We can do it too.” He shouts in her ear, biting the shell of her ear before trailing kisses from her cheek to her lips.

I gulp. Why is everyone kissing so openly? Isn’t that for behind the bedroom doors. The girl moans so loud, earning hoots from others, and raising chills on my skin. From the corner of my eye I see her skirt is pulled up slightly as he rubs circles on her bare skin. God, no.

I start toward the exit, I can meet Hyejin at home. Spending one more minute in this hideous, lustful place will make me explode. The search for cabs on my phone is unsuccessful.

I knock into someone, my phone drops onto the sticky dirty floor. I gasp when someone who entered the club kicked it somewhere.

“One thing. At least one thing can go right in my life.” I utter to myself. “Why can’t—”

“What are we searching for?”

I scream feeling a stranger’s breath on my neck. I ram my elbow into his stomach, pushing him off of me. He kneels over howling in pain, holding his chest. A smile spreads across me realizing I haven't lost my strength yet.

He holds my hand for support, still ducking down. His long strands hanging down, his eyes are closed. I narrow my eyes, noticing his lip corner is tilted up, I lean in closer to make sure he isn’t smiling. How can he smile when I hit him hard?

He tilts his chin towards me, eyes brimming with mischief. He narrows the space between our faces, his eyes running across my face. I stand rooted in my place, my breath stuck in my throat. This stranger, this boy, no, this man, is handsome.

“That was a good hit.” He stands straight. I tilt my head up to maintain our eye contact. He runs his hand through his hair, “new?”

Tattoos are all over his hand. He grabs my arm, dragging me away before I can even reply or register where he is taking us. We are sitting on a table in some part of the club that’s less crowded and low music playing in the background. This kind of place exist in clubs?

He drags a chair out for me, smiling patiently for me to sit while holding the chair. Once I’m all settled, he slowly pushes the chair closer to the table and occupies the other one opposite to mine.

What’s happening? Before I can even come back to my senses and demand what the heck he is doing, he smiles again but this time his dimple pops out. God.

“You didn’t answer me. First time?” He rests his chin on his hand propped up on the table.

“I don’t see why I need to answer you.” I frown, unsurely. I was looking for Hyejin ten minutes ago and now I’m with a stranger..?

“Oh, come on. We are at the club for broken hearts.” The table couldn’t house his long legs, his knees bumping into mine every time he shifts in his chair. “Everyone has a story, a sad one at least.”

I clasp my fingers on my lap, digging my nails into my skin, should I be here? What am I doing? He is a complete stranger. What if he is a psycho? Or a pervert?

“I’m not this kind of girl.” The words slip through before I can take them back. I look in his eyes for any kind of disbelief or mockery. Everyone starts with I’m not this type. But in the end they end up being that girl.

He patiently waits for me to continue.

“I don’t know what I was thinking. Coming here out of all the places. But I can’t stay in my room crying day and night, right?”

I look at him again to get confirmation or am I seeking his approval? He nods.

“Why will anyone come here? Of course their soulmate rejected them.” I drag my hands across my face, “worst possible case. He sees me as a child. A kid. Borderline like an embarrassment in his life.”

“That's an asshole of him to make you feel.” He frowns, the twinkle in his eyes missing. Was there twinkle in his eyes all this time?

“Yeah, no, I don’t know.” I lick my lips, my fingers shaking a little as I prepare myself to say, “he is older, older than me. Maybe like nine years older?”

“Ah,” he hums.

“And he is my professor.”

“Fuck.” His mouth hangs open a little, “that’s craziest shit he has ever written.” He points his finger towards the sky. “Forbidden kind. Interesting.”

I kick his shin. He grins lopsidedly, caging my legs between his humongous ones. I glare at him, trying to free myself from him. He chuckles at my efforts, he leans in closer and presses my nose, “boop.”

My hair stands behind my neck, warmth spreading all over me. “You can’t just… you can’t just do that…” I rub my nose trying to not feel anything.

He chuckles and rubs my head. “Cute. Do you wanna go hit the dance floor?”

“What?”

“Oh, I’m Chanyeol by the way.” He grabs my hand and shakes it.

#baekhyun #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun drabble #byun baekhyun #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun fanfic #drabble #angst #exo #exo fanfic #exo drabble #chanyeol #park chanyeol

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lovelettersfromluna · 1 year ago

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ok ok what about professor/professor’s assistant!reader x ellie?? like reader would be yelling at ellie bc she doesn’t ever show up to class or do her work (ellie would definitely do that) and ellie’s like “maybe i could earn some extra credit haha 🥸” and they end up fucking on reader’s desk

Ellie Williams x Professor!reader !! (All of this takes place in COLLEGE) thank you for the request!!

I honestly think Ellie would do it to purposefully piss you off.

She’s def the sort it student that hates authority, and always shows up late, has stacks of missing assignments, and id even go as far as saying she’d be the class clown for the sheer fact that she loves seeing get annoyed with her every time she interrupts a lecture with another one of her stupid jokes.

Because tell me you can’t imagine her smirking at you like a smug asshole after she gives you mouth when you ask her where her assignments are, the entire class just staring at you to see what you’ll retaliate with.

But you don’t, not this time. You simply sigh, tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, and mumble a tired, “See me after class Ellie”, and she knows she’s done it.

At the end of class, you’re putting away your papers and your laptop and you’re waiting for Ellie to stay behind so you two can talk, and she’s just giving you that stupid smug smirk that literally haunts you in your sleep, and you feel defeated.

“What is going on Ellie? How do you expect me to teach you when all you do is slack off in my class? I know for a fact it’s only mine. I’ve checked in with your other professors around college campus and they all say you’re a wonderful student, so what is it about my class?” You plead with her, and still, she’s just smirking down at you.

She shrugs, her eyes trailing down your cut little top and your jeans before she speaks. “Who says i slack off?” She’s challenging you, and you know it.

You can’t stop yourself from getting angry with her. You stare at her in disbelief before you scoff. “Are you fucking kidding me? Ellie you take me for a joke! Listen, if you don’t start doing the work for my class, I’m going to drop you from the course.” She sighed out, turning around to shove more of your papers and folders into your bag.

And she knows she’s got you right where she wants you.

“Okay fine…I’ll start doing my work..” she mumbles out, trying her best to sound annoyed. She smirks softly once you turn around and face her, shoving her hands into her pockets, humming softly before she spoke again.

“Maybe you could…assign me some extra credit?” Her voice is dripping with lust, and it makes your core tighten.

And it’s how you end up on your desk, legs spread for Ellie, her tongue lapping at your soaked pussy.

“E-Ellie! Fuck….mmm…h-ahhh! Yeah! Right there!” Your hand is on her head, keeping her flush against your pussy, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think Ellie was just as close as you were.

Her big green eyes are staring up at you, and she can’t stop herself from moaning every time you pull her hair, keeping her as close to you as humanely possible.

Her tongue is flicking your clit faster, and you’re close to tears as you whine out for her. “M’close….fuuuuck I’m close Ellie…please don’t stop” you’re moaning out for her, begging her to keep going and she has no plans on doing so.

Your back arches almost painfully as you cum all over her pretty face, grinding your slippery cunt on her to ride out your orgasm, breath heavy from how intense it all was.

She’s already kissing up your body, strong hands grabbing your waist and pulling you flush against her as her mouth attacks yours in a needy kiss, you whine as you taste yourself on her tongue.

That night, you take her home to her apartment, and Ellie never fails your class again.

#ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #tlou part 2 #ellie x fem reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie x you

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buckyispunk · 1 year ago

Text

Chance Encounter

Joel Miller x F!College student!Reader Series, No outbreak/Pre-outbreak AU

Part one, read part two here! Masterlist here!

Summary: When a night out with friends takes a turn for the worse, you find every girls’ nightmare may soon be a reality for you. Enter: Joel Miller, your savior.

A/N: I plan on making this a series if it gets a decent amount of notes!

Warnings: sexual assault (unwanted touching), drinking, protective joel, fist fight/violence (dw Joel wins ofc), spilt coffee (oops), age gap (reader is 23, Joel is in his late 40s), eventual smut (none in this chapter)

Word Count: 4.8k

You take one last look in the mirror, adjusting the straps on your little black club dress. You strap on your favorite pair of heels and grab your purse before heading out your apartment door, locking it behind you.

As you walk out to the front of your apartment building you check your phone to see unread messages from your two best friends.

We’re here. Waiting out front.

Come on, dude! We want to go get drunk!!

Oh my god, if you don’t get out here in the next two minutes we’re leaving without you.

You let out an annoyed sigh as you step outside.

They hadn’t even been waiting for five minutes, they could be so impatient sometimes.

You look around before seeing them in the back seat of an Uber. You climb into the back seat with them.

“Oh my god! Babe!” your one friend, Taylor, practically screeches, “You look drop dead gorgeous.”

“You definitley need to wear that dress more often,” Lily agrees, eyeing the low cut neckline that shows off the swell of your breasts.

You thank them and return their compliments as the Uber pulls away from the curb and takes off, heading to the new bar downtown.

It’s a short car ride from your apartment - full of the three of you hyping each other up. You pull up in front of the club. You can tell just from the long line leading up to the door that it’s going to be a long night.

You and your friends thank the Uber driver and you carefully step out onto the sidewalk in front of the club, not wanting to trip over your heels and embarrass yourself so early in the night.

The three of you make your way to the end of the line. Dance music from inside and overlapping conversations fill your ears.

“This better be worth it, Lily,” Taylor shoots Lily an irritated look.

You share Taylor’s irritation, regretting letting Lily talk you into coming here. You would be satisfied with a little dive bar at this point, you just need to get drunk and release some of built up tension work and school had caused this week.

“It will be! Everyone has been raving about this place since it opened,” she justifies.

“Whatever,” you say, “I just hope this line moves quick.”

After a surprisingly short wait, you make your way to the front of the line. You hand the bouncer, a middle aged bald man, your ID first. He takes it, but not before taking an obvious, and long, look at your cleavage and giving you a sleazy grin.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greets you.

You give an uncomfortable smile back, “Hi.”

After deciding your ID checks out, he lets you pass through the doors. You step into the building and scan the huge crowd of people inside. About half the patrons appear to be college students, like you. Your friends follow not far behind you, dragging you straight to the bar.

The three of you order drinks and from the bartender, a pretty young woman who compliments your outfits, and you lean against the bar as you wait. After you get your drinks, you follow Taylor and Lily to the dance floor. The three of you share a grin as Live Your Life starts.

You down a long sip of your drink, knowing you’re going to need a buzz if you’re going to be dancing.

You start dancing with your friends and before you know it, your drinks are gone and Taylor is leaving to get more. You and Lily leave the dance floor and manage to find some empty chairs, taking a minute to catch your breath, while you wait for Taylor to get back with the drinks.

“She’s taking too long,” Lily complains, “I’m going back out there.”

“Okay, babe,” you reply, waving goodbye to her as she stands and slips back into the crowd of young, drunk, sweaty people.

Taylor eventually makes her way over to you and hands you a full drink. You thank her and point her in the direction Lily disappeared, explaining you’re gonna sit out for another minute. You quickly down your second drink, finally starting to feel tipsy.

You hear the intro to Somebody Told Me and stand, making your way into the sea of people. After a few seconds of trying and failing to find your friends, you give up and start dancing, wanting to enjoy the song and the buzz you’re feeling.

You let loose and sing along to the song and before you know it, a boy is in front of you, dancing with you.

He’s handsome. Tall, blonde, and has a lean, muscular build.

You meet his eyes and give him a smile, which he returns as he leans down to introduce himself.

Mike? Mark? It was something with an M, but you couldn’t make it out over the booming bass surrounding you.

You shout your own name back at him and he nods at you then takes a swig of his beer. He notices your empty hand and leans down again.

By some miracle you’re able to make out what he says this time, “What’s a pretty girl like you diong without a drink in her hand?”

He places a hand on your lower back and guides you over to the bar before asking what you want. He orders you a drink and gets another beer for himself. You thank him and grab his arm, dragging him back to the dance floor.

The two of you dance together and after a couple songs, he makes his way behind you. You feel the denim of his jeans rubbing into your thighs where your dress ends. You take a small step forward, only for him follow right behind you, filling the space you had made. You turn around to face him and continue dancing.

You follow his eyeline to your breasts, noticing the hungry look in his eyes. He places his hand that isn’t holding his beer on your hip, quickly lowering it to your ass and squeezing. You grab his hand and shove it back toward him.

His expression quickly turns into a mixture of anger and offense. He shouts something that you can’t hear over the loud music, but you know it wasn’t nice.

You hadn’t noticed your friends walking up to you until you turn around to leave whatever his name was. By the confused looks on their faces, they had witnessed the interaction and they sandwich you between them. They lead you over to the chairs and you sit down, explaining to them what happened.

“He bought me a drink and then started getting too handsy when we were dancing. I tried to get him off me, but he wasn’t taking the hint.”

“I’m sorry,” Taylor says, giving you a sympathetic look.

“Men are such assholes sometimes,” Lily responds angrily, “Do you want me to go find him and slap him? I can throw the rest of my drink on his face.”

Lily’s words cheer you up a little bit and you stand, “I’m fine guys, it wasn’t a big deal. We came here to have fun!”

Lily and Taylor give you a skeptical look but follow you as you head back to the dance floor. The three of you start dancing together, moving your hips and grinding against each other. You laugh at each other as you scream-sing along to Pitbull.

After several more rounds of drinks, the aching in your feet gets to be too uncomfortable to continue dancing. You knew wearing the heels was a bad idea, you just look so damn good in them.

You get Taylor and Lily’s attention, “Hey guys, I think I’m gonna call it a night. My feet are killing me. Plus, I know I’ll regret it in the morning if I have anything else to drink.”

Your friends seem to have heard at least the majority of what you said.

“Aww man,” Lily says, a pout forming on her face, “That’s so lame. It’s only like midnight.”

You check the time on your phone before responding, “Lily, it’s almost 2 o’clock. Listen, you guys should stay,” you say, not wanting to ruin put an early end to their fun night.

Taylor leans over to your ear, “Let us at least walk you out and wait for your Uber with you.”

“No way,” you dismiss her offer, “I wouldn’t want you guys to have to wait in that line again.”

“You sure? We don’t mind,” Lily pushes.

“Really, guys,” you smile at them, “I’ll be fine.”

You hug your friends goodbye and head outside to order your Uber. You lean up against the brick wall of the building for stability and pull your phone out of your bag. You order an Uber.

Tristan will be here in 11 minutes.

You go to put your phone back in your bag, but you miss and your phone lands on the concrete.

You bend down on unsteady legs to retrieve your phone, but someone elses hand reaches it first. You stand back up and lay eyes on the figure in front of you.

The bouncer from earlier.

“Hey, beautiful.”

He puts his yellow teeth on display as he steps closer to you. He lays one hand on your hip, backing you up against the brick wall. With his other hand, he offers you your phone. You take your phone back with shaky hands.

“My shift just ended,” he says, voice dark, “How about you come back home with me for a drink? Can’t let a pretty little lady like you leave here alone.”

His hand is creeping lower and lower, getting close to your ass.

“Um,” you want to kick yourself for how small your voice sounds, “no, thanks. My boyfriend will be here soon to pick me up.”

You do your best to look unbothered, trying to sell your lie.

“That so, baby?” he questions, sneer never leaving his face, “I’ll wait here with you then.”

His hand reaches your ass and you cringe. You raise your hands and use all the strength you can muster to shove him in the chest. The stocky man in front of you doesn’t budge.

You begin to panic even more, realizing what’s about to happen to you. Your brain freezes and you open your mouth to yell but only a squeak comes out when you meet the malicious gaze of your assaulter.

“That wasn��t very nice, baby,” He growls, “Someone needs to learn some manners.”

Before you have a chance to respond or make any other attempts at escape, you hear a shout from behind the bouncer.

“Hey, asshole! Get off of her!”

The bouncer is blocking your view so you can’t see whoever the voice belongs to, but even in your drunken state, you notice the southern drawl.

The bouncer looks over his shoulder, muttering a quiet “fuck off” and reverting his vile glare back to you.

Before you know what’s happening, the bouncer is ripped off of you. He stumbles backward, almost toppling over. Now that your view isn’t blocked you’re able to see the man responsible.

He’s tall. At least half a foot taller than the bouncer. His broad shoulders and back make you wonder how his flannel shirt hasn’t ripped. His graying hair and the wrinkles across his forehead make it clear he’s older than you. Quite a bit older, you’d guess.

You collapse to the ground, trying to calm your panicked breathing.

The man takes his eyes off the bouncer to look over at you with a worried expression.

“Are you o-” before he has a chance to finish his sentence, the bouncer has tackled him into the ground.

The bouncer gets in only one good shot before the man manages to wrestle the bouncer underneath him. He grabs the bouncer’s shirt and lands begins punching him repeatedly.

You squeeze your eyes shut and clutch your legs into your chest, unable to believe the scene unfolding in front of you. You hear a crack and a scream. You look up and are thankful to see that the scream came from the bouncer, not the man who had saved you. You feel tears welling in your eyes.

The man climbs off the bouncer, who now lays covering his bloody face, and stands over him.

“Get the fuck out of here before I change my mind about letting you go,” he scowls.

The bouncer stands up, muttering and groaning before stumbling away from you and the man who had just bloodied him.

With the threat gone, your savior returns his attention to you.

He steps over to where you sit crumpled on the ground. He kneels down in front of you and you cower away, covering your face with your hands.

“Whoa, hey,” his voice sounds much softer now than it had just seconds ago when he was talking to your assaulter, “my names Joel. I’m not gonna hurt you, sweetheart.”

The man backs away from you, but stays in a kneeling position.

You look up to him, face covered in tears and running makeup. His big, brown eyes are filled with apprehension and worry. He has a cut on his cheek from where he got hit, a small drop of blood trickling down his face.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you, darlin’?” he questions, concerned.

“Oh,” you sniffle, using your hand to wipe mascara and tears off your face, “yeah, I’m alright. He didn’t hurt me. I’m just shaken up, I think.”

You grab your purse off the ground where you had dropped it and go to stand up.

Joel makes his way to his feet quickly and hesitantly stretches his hand out to you. You look up at him and give him a small nod. You’re not quite sure why, but you trust him. Even though you had just watched him beat the shit out of someone.

He gently puts his hand on your arm and keeps you balances as you stand, making sure you don’t topple over in your inebriated state. You feel goosebumps form on your skin at Joel’s touch.

The way he touches you feel so different than the bouncer. Different than the boy you had been dancing with. They had touched you with greed and roughness. The way Joel gently holds your arm is a stark contrast to his coarse, calloused hands.

Once you’re on your feet, he lets you go. As he pulls his hand away, you notice the drying blood across his knuckles and wince.

“Thank you for getting him off of me. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if you hadn’t been here,” you give Joel a grateful smile, “Are you okay?”

“Hey, don’t worry about me,” he says gruffly, “I just did what any man should’ve. I wasn’t gonna walk past n’ let that piece of shit do god-knows-what to you.”

He sheepishly looks down at his work boots, shifting from foot to foot.

“My ride will be here in just a couple minutes, you don’t need to wait with me,” you say, attempting to fill the awkward silence.

“Don’t even start,” Joel looks back up at you, “‘m not leavin’ you here alone, I’ll wait here with you.”

Inwardly, you let out a little sigh of relief, feeling safer with him.

“Have your boyfriend gets you some water when you get home. He should stay up for a little while and make sure you don’t roll over onto your back in your sleep,” Joel says, leaning against the wall with you, although he leaves a polite amount of space between the two of you.

“What?” you look over to him, brows furrowing.

“You told that guy your boyfriend was coming to pick you up. I overheard a little bit of the conversation as I was coming over to help you.”

“Ohh,” you start, remembering the lie you had told the bouncer, trying to get rid of him, “I just said that to scare him off. Clearly it didn’t work,” you explain, blush spreading over your cheeks. “I don’t actually have a boyfriend. My Uber’s on its way.”

Joel hums in response, an expression on his face that you can’t quite read.

“Well, in that case,” his deep voice speaks softly, “make sure you drink plenty of water when you get home. And try to stay on your side.”

“Is your face gonna be okay?” you ask him, pointing to the cut on his cheekbone. You can’t help but let your eyes trail over his jawline and his thick neck.

Joel furrows his eyebrows and reaches up to where you’re pointing.

“Oh,” he says, pulling his hand back eyeing his own blood on his fingers, as if he hadn’t even noticed the cut, “this ain’t nothin’,” he mutters. “Fucker musta had a ring on.”

You raise your eyebrows, surprised by his nonchalance. He keeps his eyes forward. You let yourself admire his side profile - the curve of his nose, his beard and moustache, his salt and pepper hair.

“Is that your ride?” he asks you, pointing to a car that just pulled up, breaking your trance.

You pull out your phone to check.

“Yeah,” you nod, putting your phone back away, “it is.”

Joel makes his way over to the Uber with you and opens the back door for you, making sure you get in the car okay.

“Be safe, please,” his soft brown eyes make meet your gaze, “Go get some sleep.”

“Thank you, Joel,” you give him a genuine smile, holding eye contact.

Joel gently closes the car door and steps back.

You watch him through the window until you get too far away, then you train your eyes on the seat in front of you. Thankfully, Tristan doesn’t try to make small talk with you, leaving you to replay tonight’s events in your mind, trying to make sense of it all.

As soon as you pull up to your apartment building, you’re climbing out of the car and heading to unlock the door - ready to take these damn heels off and get in bed.

Once inside your apartment, you take off your heels, clean your face with a makeup wipe, change out of your dress, and get in bed. You fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

You wake up to a throbbing in your head. You squeeze your eyes shut and roll over in bed. You pull the covers up, trying your best to fall back asleep. After several minutes of tossing and turning, you come to terms with that fact that you’re up for the day.

You grab your phone off the nightstand and check the time - 7:37. Too damn early. You respond to Lily and Taylor’s texts asking if you got home okay with a simple yes, not feeling like explaining everything.

You roll out of bed and hop in the shower. You wash your hair and body, trying to scrub off the mess that was last night.

Your thoughts drift back to Joel. The way he touched you so gingerly when he helped you up. You remember the way you felt so safe around Joel, not worried for a second that he would try anything. The way he was willing to get into a fight for you - you’re pretty sure he broke the bouncer’s nose. How he casually brushed off his injuries in favor of making you feel comfortable.

You feel much better when you step out of the shower. More fresh. You pick out denim cutoffs and a cropped tee for the day, dressing for the early September Texas heat.

Your head is still throbbing, though, so you take some medicine. You go to make yourself a cup of coffee in hopes that caffeine will help you feel less like a zombie, but you’re fresh out.

Of fucking course.

You put your phone and your wallet in your pocket, and leave your apartment to walk to your favorite little cafe. Your walk is quiet, most people still asleep this early on a Saturday. You pass the occasional person going for a morning run.

You arrive at the cafe and open the door, walking inside. You look up at the chalkboard menu as you walk in. As you’re reading their new seasonal drinks, you collide with something hard and solid. It only takes you a second to realize that something is a person.

You watch a cup of coffee fall to the floor, knocked out of the person’s hold by you.

You feel your heart drop and a blush form on your face, “Oh my god, I’m so so sorry.”

You look up to see the unfortunate victim of your clumsiness.

Joel. The same man who had saved you last night. The same man who you hadn’t been able to get off your mind all morning.

“Oh,” you say, looking like a deer in headlights, “Joel. I’ll buy you a new drink. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Good morning,” Joel grunts. He quickly looks you up and down before eyeing his now empty coffee cup laying on the floor.

You quickly bend down to grab the empty paper cup, tossing it in the trash can and grabbing a stack of napkins. You go to kneel down to start wiping up the mess, but a soft hand on your arm stops you.

“I got it,” Joel takes the napkins from your hand and begins cleaning up the spill.

You grab more napkins and join Joel in wiping up the mess.

“Really, I can clean it. It’s my fault. I walked into you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Joel answers, “You didn’t mean to. Accidents happen.” His eyes look up and you meet his gaze, “You’re not still drunk are you?” Joel teases, lightly chuckling.

“No. Hungover, though,” you manage a small smile through your embarrassment.

The two of you stand and throw away the napkins, the mess on the floor cleaned as best as you could get it.

“What kind of coffee do you want?” you ask Joel, heading for the line to order.

“I can get it myself. You didn’t mean to spill it,” Joel argues.

“Joel. What kind of coffee do you want?” you repeat yourself, not leaving any room for discussion.

“Dark roast, black,” he gives in, the corner of his mouth turning up in a slight smile.

The two of you wait in line together - side by side. He stands far enough away from you that you’re not touching, but close enough that you can smell his cologne - bourbon and oak.

“You never told me your name last night,” he points out.

“Oh, shit. You’re right,” you tell him your name, “You’ll have to forgive my bad manners.”

“That’s alright, you had a lot going on. S’a pretty name.”

“Thank you.”

“Glad to see you made it home safe,” he says, looking down at you.

You look up into his soft, brown eyes “Thanks to you.”

The cut on his cheek is more of a scratch now. It wasn’t very deep.

“Your face looks better,” you tell him, quickly backtracking once you realize how that sounded, “I- uh I mean because of the cut. It looks like the cut is healing well. Your face never looked bad. It looked good last night and it looks good now,” you start rambling, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

Joel looks down at you, an amused grin spreading across his face. Smile lines form at the corners of his mouth. “Good, huh?”

You know your face is as red as a tomato. Thank god you’re at the front of the line.

The barista speaks, saving you from the conversation you were having with Joel, “Good morning, how can I help you two today?”

You place your order and after a minute you get your coffees. You hand Joel’s to him. Your fingertips brush his as you hand him the cup, his large hand dwarfing the cup. You look up at him to find his eyes already on yours. You quickly look back down.

Your eyes dart around the cafe, unsure what to do next.

As if reading your mind, Joel speaks, “Want to grab a table?” he asks unsurely.

“Oh” you look at him, noting the hestitance in his tone, “you don’t have to. I’m sure you’re sick of me after last night and this morning.”

Joel holds eye contact with you, “I want to. I’d love for you to keep me company while I drink my coffee,” he says more confidently this time, “If you want to, that is.”

“Okay, sure,” you grin up at him as you make your way over to an empty table.

Joel pulls out your chair for you before sitting across from you.

“Surprised you’re up this early,” Joel says after taking a sip of his coffee, “You should still be asleep after your late night.”

“I should be, but my head had other plans.”

Joel hums and gives you a knowing look.

“What about you?” you counter, “Why are you up so early on a Saturday?”

“Got a job today. Me and my brother have a contracting business. Gotta be at the site in an hour.”

“Why were you out so late last night? Were you at that club?” you ask, curious.

“Went out with some of the guys after work. I was walking home from a different bar when I noticed that douchebag feelin’ up on ya.”

Conversation flows easily between you and Joel as you two finish your coffees. Before either of you notice, 45 minutes have passed.

“Oh, shit,” Joel grumbles as he notices the time on his watch, “I should get goin’ or else I’ll be late. Tommy would never let me hear the end of that.”

The two of you stand and make your way outside to find that it had started raining. You stand under the awning, trying to stay dry.

“Shit,” you mumble, not having thought to check the weather before you decided to walk here.

“What’s wrong?” Joel asks, a frown on his face.

“I- uh, I walked here.”

“Can I drive you home?” Joel offers without missing a beat.

“You don’t need to. I don’t want to make you late.”

“I want to, darlin. Can’t let you walk home in this,” he raises his arms in gesture to the pouring rain.

“If you really don’t mind,” you tell him.

Joel nods his head in the direction of his truck, leading the two of you over to it in quick walk. He opens the passenger side door for you, offering you his hand to help you climb in. Once you’re fully seated, he closes the door for you and runs around to the driver’s side and steps up into his own seat.

You give Joel directions to your apartment. The drive only takes a couple minutes.

When Joel pulls up outside your apartment complex, he keeps his eyes forward, “Can I have your phone number? I would love to pay you back for the coffee sometime,” you note what sounds like uncertainty in his voice as he asks.

“You don’t owe me anything, Joel. But, yes, I’d be happy to give you my number.”

Joel lets out a little sigh of relief and hands you his phone, letting you put in your number.

When you finish typing it in, you hand the phone back to him and open the door.

“Thanks for the ride,” you smile over your shoulder at him as you hop down from the truck.

“Bye,” Joel returns your smile before you shut the door.

Joel’s truck doesn’t pull away until you’re safely inside your apartment.

The coffee seemed to help your headache subside. You curl up on your couch and turn the TV on, putting on one of your favorite comfort movies.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and pull it out.

Thanks for the coffee, sweetheart. Good luck with your hangover.

You type a quick reply.

Have a good day at work, Joel :)

You close your eyes and let yourself fall asleep, movie playing in the background.

#fanfic #fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel x reader #protective joel #protective joel miller #joel miller x college student reader

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s3l3n3-volturi666 · 5 months ago

Text

In The Club

Based on this :⬇

Contents : smut , fluff , Angst (small) , Spencer being protective , FBI/CM Jargon.

I didn't feel comfy doing a Strip Club so did an ordinary club sorry. Hope you still like it!

When Estelle Jackson and the Team are told that to catch the Unsub for this case two people have to go undercover , nerves rise and Spencer tenses up.

Estelle POV:

"Who are the two people undercover?" I ask and Hotch sighs. "You and JJ." He says and Spencer storms out of the Room. "Spencer!" I run after him. I find him sat in a somewhat lit office , overthinking. "Spence. I'm going to be okay , I promise." I kiss his temple and he looks close to tears. "Cry and I end up in tears." I remind him. "I can't lose you. You're my everything , Stella!" He cries out and I hug him to my chest. "I will wear the dress and shoes love me to wear. Will that make up for the stress you'll put yourself through?" I ask and he nods. "Hey , Elle? We need to go get ready for the Undercover Job." JJ peeks her head into the office. "Be right there!" I shout and kiss Spencer briefly on the cheek. "Can we stop by my Apartment? I need my outfit from there." I ask JJ who nods.

(Estelle's outfit :

Not my images you can pick JJ's.)

"You look stunning , Elle." JJ smiles as we head into the club. We head to the Bar and she shows our ID'S. "Rekordelig Strawberry and Lime Cider and an alcoholic Elderflower spritz please , Jacob." I tell the Bartender. He nods and I smile. "3 little birds to my left. " I whisper into the hidden Mic , looking like I was talking to JJ with my head on my wrist. Out of the corner of my eye on our 7th night undercover I spot the Unsub moving in to sit by me. "Hello , sexy lady." He flirts and I chuckle. Unamused. "Hi. What's your name , sir?" I ask and internally vomit. He is SO not my type. "Jason Roberts. What's you and your friends names , Gorgeous?" He asks and I smile falsely. "Persephone Bureau and Aphrodite Bureau." I shrug and he nods , falling for it. I hum softly and sip my drink. "So , Persephone. What do you study at the University?" He asks and I chuckle darkly. "Psychology , Hospitality and Catering , Criminal Minds 101 and Profiling 101. " I list off the subjects that I did and he nods. "Hades and Ares , our Boyfriends of 5 years are over there. Don't worry about them though. We're interested in YOU." JJ says and Spencer glares at Jason who's hand retreats from my personal space. We chat for about half an hour or more and I retain all of the intel."Well then. How about we drink to this acquaintance?" He suggests and I nod as I notice Spencer walking over. "Petal. Let's go to a back room? I want you , baby. " He goes along with the lie and I follow him eagerly. He locks the door and pulls me onto his lap. I grind on him as I tell him all we learnt from our chat with Jason Roberts and he moves my hips faster , I can feel him twitching in his pants as he runs his hands over my body whilst I rock my hips harder than I was. "We should head back out there. We can continue at the Hotel." I promise him and he groans softly , adjusting himself so that his boner isn't visible. We get out there and I notice what Jason did to JJ's drink and mine so I down them both , JJ 's jaw drops and I cuff Jason. "Jason Roberts you are under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of innocent Catering Students. Anything you say or do CAN and WILL be used against you in Court." I feel fuzzy but shrug it off and drag him out to Hotch. I shut the door and feel myself falling to the floor as I begin to feel like a Helium Balloon. "STELLA! ESTELLE! Stay with me! Please! I can't lose you as well! " I hear Spencer sobbing onto my chest as I black out.

Spencer POV:

Jacob walks out and he gasps softly , shocked. "I will testify that Jason drugged both drinks. I'm pretty sure that he made the drugs. He puts the drug in their drinks when they're distracted and kidnaps them once unconscious." Jacob says and I nod , JJ is sobbing into Derek's chest. "She used Bureau as their last names. A clue to me that if anything happened to you or herself and the two gents didn't see to signal to them." Jacob adds and I realise that he's good and trustworthy. "Call an Ambulance!" Derek says but Jacob sighs. "No phone service. Radio to the Aorta Med Centre on the University Campus. Ask for the drug antidote. Jason Roberts was friends with the one who made said antidote. Her name is Talia Black." Jacob walks back inside.

-3 Days Later @ The Med Centre -

She coughs as she shoots upright. I hug her tightly , sobbing into her shoulder. "Don't cry , my sexy Genius." She whispers and I nod. "Doc! Can you send in our team." I ask and JJ gently 'tackles' Stella in a hug and sobs. "Don't cry , Dove. You'll smudge your make-up." She shushes JJ'S sobs and Hotch swats Stella's head. "Don't nearly die on us again. Hopefully Spencer will Shower and Eat now." He says and I shrink down as she raises an eyebrow. "I'll be out in two hours. Go Shower and eat a protein bar in my Hotel Room. Be in my Room when I return. " She says and I scramble out of the Room.

Penelope POV:

"Even Hotch can't get him to obey orders that quickly?! How?!" JJ gasps and Estelle smiles smugly. "He does as I say because he knows that I will punish him if he doesn't." She smirks and JJ's eyes widen as Derek laughs softly , amused. "Punish? How?" He asks and she smirks at him. "With clothing and him not allowed to touch me for a week." She says as she gets out of Bed and I smile at her. "You make him happy , Ellie. Don't hurt him in any way , please." I tell her and she nods. "Now out so I can change into my clothes please." She demands. Joy sparkling in her eyes.

We all return to the Hotel and Spencer is in the Restaurant. Eating. We did get back earlier than we said but oh well. "Hey , Pretty Boy." Ellie walks over to him , smiling softly. "Not going to punish you as you are taking care of yourself." I hear her reassure Spencer. "Stay here whilst we get food. Do you want Coffee , Spence?" JJ asks and he nods , his body language saying that he is uncomfortable about something. "Hey! Are you with him?" A waiter asks and Ellie raises an eyebrow at him. "Yes. Why? What happened to my Boyfriend?" She drops her warm and kind attitude for her cold and calculated attitude. "A woman yelled at him. He seems Overstimulated." He says and Spencer whines , fidgeting with his shirt. "I'll be right back. I am just getting food." Ellie walks off and returns with a trolley filled with our plates and drinks.(They all had image ⬇)

Long Story Short : Estelle Jackson is alive and will nearly die for her Team mates / Family.

Spencer loves Estelle Jackson.

Will we see more of Estelle Jackson and Spencer Reid? Maybe. Maybe not.

#spencer reid smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds

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nudibutch · 6 months ago

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long post abt me thinking about my dom likes/dislikes. im musing. i feel like this is needed to get my thoughts straightened out since its been on my mind lately.

things i dont like when domming

- raw power/physically overpowering someone, roughness. for example i don't think i could ever comfortably facefuck someone Hard hard. id be too worried about hurting them and that would be on my mind the entire time. i also dont think physical force is my style. it doesnt really fit my personality

- 100% degradation. same as above. i don't enjoy being mean this way.... it feels bad to me and i would constantly worry they think i mean it

- certain power dynamics. i dont like the idea of someone subbing to me because im stronger than them, know more than them, better than them, have a position of power over them (eg prof/student rp)...

- making decisions for my partner. in general i don't think im looking for "no thoughts head empty" in this way.

- brats. i just really dont like the dynamic. a lot of the ways brats want to be dommed falls under rougher/harsher tactics and it more often than not annoys and frustrates me because it feels like im fighting someone when im just trying to cooperate. a GOOD brat dynamic requires a LOT of communication and even then i can only try and "tame" the brat (whatever its called) for so long.

- cnc. this is a super hard gray area to navigate between overstim/free use, which i can be into, but requires a LOT of communication and i would not just do it with anyone right off the bat. i still had hesitations doing this with partners i knew very well.

things i DO like when domming/the idea of when domming

- bondage. i like the look, and i like the physical helplessness it creates for a sub. i like honing sensation and this is definitely one of the ways to do it.

- experimentation/exploration. not in the literal sense - everything should always be discussed beforehand - but i like slow toying/appreciation. i dont like rushing to a destination and i think this comes out a lot with teasing.

- certain power dynamics. unlike the ones i listed before i REALLY like the idea of power in the sense of, "i safely led this person to this state of mind" and also "i can safely lead them to the kind of experience i want them to have".

- exhibition. i LOVE taking pictures, videos, etc. i like posting certain things. i really like the idea of tying up/teasing/and/or fingering a sub in front of a small audience. i like the idea of showing off not only how well i can make this person fall apart, but also how pretty they are when they do.

things i find interesting reflecting on my past dominant experiences:

- i almost never ask for the things i like when domming, and i almost never make a decision when it comes to any sexual act. i always ask, "how do you want to be fucked" and never really say, "im gonna fuck you." i think this is kind of because of my aversion to "things i don't like" #1/#3/#4. no matter how many times a sub says "i want you to do whatever you want to me", or "just fuck me", i dont really adhere to that and i dont trust it. that might be because of bad past experiences with subs without specific constraints. it might be because its undefined cnc to me, and im really worried about doing something a sub doesnt want after they say, "fuck me however you want." thats almost definitely residual from subs with shit communication skills. more on that below.

- that being said, i think there probably exists a sweet spot in the above bullet point. i SHOULD, theoretically, be doing a little more of what i like and want, as a dom, and not just exist as a 2-dimensional service top. this isnt to say that i havent enjoyed past domming experiences - i really have. but looking back, i think ive spent a disproportionate amount of time asking subs what they want and like, and less time talking about what i like. this is partly because no one really asks, and this is partly because im historically bad at speaking up. if something is Working Just Fine, im not inclined to change it - partly because im afraid of the rejection of my desires if i DO speak up (ie, they arent worth anything, which gets back to a core belief ive been addressing in therapy, etc.). this has definitely happened in the past where i try to bring up certain things and a sub expresses obvious disdain, and i backpedal it hard to assure them its not a big deal and to just forget about it. thats almost definitely a result of domming subs with poor communication/sense of self issues, and certainly not my fault, but i need to get better about vetting people that will respond maturely in a discussion about desires/kinks/etc. my dom dynamic and style is fine, but seems incredibly passive when i think about it, and it shouldnt be like that. it should be a two way street, and my partner SHOULD be expressing curiosity and excitement about learning what im into.

- a personal priority of mine is figuring out what my needs are for dom aftercare. i spend a lot of time making sure a sub is okay after, and that in and of itself can SOMETIMES be "aftercare" for me - i get to check in with them, make sure they enjoyed what happened, and that reassures me what i did was okay, too. but outside of that i dont have a clear idea. i think subs asking or offering specific things helps a lot. cuddling is important. if someone just up and leaves or is like "alright lets go out" after sex i really dont do well with the transition. i need to speak up more about this, but also i need to prioritize finding people who just know to ask or check in.

#if u read all of that ur a champ #its just journaling for me rn #cause its kind of crazy to think how my dom style/dynamic has developed and i think it has developed in mostly unhealthy circumstances #so i think its good to reflect why and what i can do moving forward #slug.personal #slug.j

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