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foodfightnovelization · 7 months ago

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Every Real-World Brand Mascot in the Foodfight! Workprint

Hey everyone! So as mentioned in my last post, I'm going to be poring through the entire workprint and pointing out every single time we see (or hear!) a real-world brand mascot. If you've been following this blog for a while or just binged a bunch of my posts recently, you might remember we did this for the finished movie and it turned out there were only 18 real-world brand mascots in the entire film! But with this workprint being from 2005, several years before a lot of the larger brands pulled out from the project, there are bound to be tons more, right? So, let's dive right in and play another game of "spot the cameo"!

#1: Chester Cheetah: Okay so this one is obvious since he gets his own fully-animated segment set to "Bad To The Bone", but he's the first one you see in the entire workprint and honestly he looks great, with the squash-and-stretch style of the early animation suiting him incredibly well. This segment was also used extensively in the original trailer as well as a crewmember's animation reel, so it's one a lot of people are already aware of, but hey- I'm listing all of these, for completion's sake.

#2: The Vlasic Stork: Just like in movie, the Vlasic Stork makes his first appearance here crashing into Vlad Chocool while he's in the middle of flying, although here Vlad has the ability to turn into a bat, whereas in the finished film he's still in his human form and simply awkwardly flaps his arms. Of note is that I can't quite make out what he's saying as he crashes into him- it sounds like he's yelling "Summer fear! Here come!" but that's obviously not right, so if anyone has a keen ear please let me know.

#3: Mr Clean: Once again, just like in the finished film, Mr Clean makes his first appearance here being splattered with poo water as Lord Flushington jumps out of a manhole. He gets a few more scenes later on in the workprint, even getting a line at one point (he says "Dusting for prints..." while the Ikes are investigating a crime scene, and according to the script from around this time he was supposed to be using baby powder to do this. Funny!) He also makes an appearance in the Copabanana, talking with Aunt Jemima as Dex walks into the club. Speaking of which...

#4: Aunt Jemima: Here's one of the many real-world mascots who didn't make it into the finished movie. Aunt Jemima was the mascot for a popular brand of pancake syrup for decades, until the company rebranded in 2021 over concerns the character could be seen as racist. Which I'm sure is true, but what I'm more focused on right now is how baffling her design is here. She doesn't really look like the Aunt Jemima character herself at all, instead looking more like a personification of the old syrup bottles (which were vaguely in the shape of a person). But it's so uncanny because it's this weird hybrid between both- the model and shape is clearly that of the bottle design, yet they've textured her so that she has clothes and a face like the actual character. It's like this weird halfway point where it doesn't look right as either. She was ultimately replaced by Mrs Buttersworth in the final product, with a scene where she spills syrup on Mr Clean being identical aside from the characters being swapped out. Something worthy of note is that this is one of the early character models that was found during the production of ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight, and so is available for download on archive.org if you want to tinker with it.

#5: The Keebler Elves: The Keebler Elves, one of the only mascots seen fully animated in the workprint, are seen here witnessing Daredevil Dan crash his plane into their factory. In the finished movie they're replaced with creepy generic-looking gnomes, but it's clear they were always intended to be the Keebler Elves and were simply switched after The Keebler Company pulled out from the film.

#6: The M&Ms: By far one of the most recognizable mascots of all time, the M&Ms get a single appearance in the workprint, being led to a table by Charlie Tuna while the Green M&M tells the Red M&M she's suffering from "peanut envy". Of note is that in the script, it's the Red M&M telling this to the Yellow M&M, which I personally find bizarre as the joke doesn't land nearly as well if it's two guys having the conversation. If you're familiar with the Freudian concept of penis envy, it's a condition he alleged was a key part of female psychosexual development- and so the gag lands far better if it's the Green M&M, a woman, saying it. But even having said that, according to ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight they accidentally modelled the Green M&M as a guy anyway so... I don't know what kind of gender confusion you'd call that.

#7: Charlie Tuna: Just like in the finished film, Charlie Tuna serves as the maître d' at the Copabanana, leading guests to their tables (and later getting his tail stepped on by Lady X). Of course here he's leading the M&Ms to a table, whereas in the movie it's that whole thing with the Roman gladiator who shoves his head up a cow's ass, but let's not get into that again.

#8: The California Raisins: There's not much to say here, as the California Raisins made it into the movie with minimal changes. But if you want to know something interesting, did you know the California Raisins were supposed to get an NES game back in the early 90s ? It ended up never being released, and so was lost for over a decade until a collector named Brandon Murphy happened across a prototype cartridge in the early 2000s, uploading the ROM online so that everybody could play it. I'd highly recommend looking the game up for yourself if you want to learn more, as although it's an incredibly fascinating story, it's also deeply tragic and doesn't quite belong on a lighthearted blog like this.

#9: Rosarita: So this is a more obscure one, but the character Vlad Chocool flirts with in the Copabanana is Rosarita, the mascot for a brand of refried beans. I would've probably missed this character entirely, but there's a similar scene in the novelization where she;s simply referred to as "Rosa" due to not being allowed to name any real-world brands, and so when I was writing my analysis I speculated about who this could be referring to. Sure enough, when I read the early script it was confirmed to be the Rosarita lady, and so it was fascinating to finally see her onscreen in this workprint. The character is usually depicted wearing a wide-brimmed hat and so seeing her without it you might just mistake her for a regular woman, but the flower in her hair made her instantly recognizable to me because I've spent far, far too much time on this movie.

#10: Chiquita Banana: Similar to the Keebler Elves, the Chiquita Banana lady was originally going to play the role of the bartender at the Copabanana, before being replaced by a much less visually appealing character called "Lola Fruitola". This seems to be a trend with Foodfight!- whenever a brand drops out, their character is replaced with an unflattering parody of them. Real professional, guys. Chiquita Banana is a little more complicated however, as in the draft of the script from around the same time the workprint was created, she was already replaced with Lola Fruitola. It's possible these storyboards were just drawn earlier on, and they just didn't bother replacing them even after the company no longer allowed their character to be used in the movie, but I can't say for sure.

#11: Sugar Bear: This is Sugar Bear, mascot for Post's Golden Crisp cereal. There's not much to say about him, since he's only seen briefly a few times during the workprint and he never does anything notable, but he IS one of the few brand mascots seen fully rendered and animated in this version of the movie.

#12: Punchy: Punchy, the Hawaiian Punch mascot, plays the same role as he does in the finished film- during the barfight at the Copabanana, he performs his signature move of offering someone some "punch" before literally punching them in the face. There's not much else to say about him, so let's move on.

#13: Twinkie The Kid: Twinkie the Kid is seen in the background of various storyboards during the workprint, but ultimately doesn't do much other than look far more visually appealing than he does in the finished film. There IS some early animation featuring a fully-rendered version of him, but for some reason it wasn't included in the workprint.

#14: Chef Boyardee: There's not much to say about Chef Boyardee either, as he only appears in the background of a few shots and doesn't say or do anything notable. For shame! Such a highly-regarded culinary expert deserves better than a mere background appearance.

#15: Pepperidge Farm: This is an interesting one as you don't actually SEE the character onscreen, but during the USDA meeting you hear the following dialogue- "Salts and sugars been competing for snack food supremacy longer than I even I remember!" "Pepperidge Farm remembers!" This is obviously intended to be the Pepperidge Farm spokesperson, and presumably had animation been completed while the company still allowed the character to be used, we would've seen him onscreen as well.

#16: Oscar Mayer: Oscar Mayer gets a few scenes throughout the workprint, but I'm going to save discussing them for the second part of my analysis, as there's one in particular I think is far funnier than it has any right to be and I don't want to spoil it. I think it's one of the highlights of the workprint, and it's truly a shame he ended up being cut from the finished film.

#17: Mr Pringle: As mentioned in my previous post, Mr Pringle gets a scene set in the real-world supermarket where he reminds Kaptain Krispy not to lose his temper after his chips get stomped, but he also gets THIS later on in the movie during the battle with Brand X! I mean god damn, he's flying around on a giant Pringle like he's the Silver Surfer! I just can't help but find that hilarious and awesome at the same time, I mean how many times do you see someone flying around on a huge potato chip? It's kinda bizarre to see him with arms and legs though, I'm used to him just being a head.

#18: Tootise Roll Owl and Tootise Roll Man: There's hardly anything to say about these characters, as just like in the finished film the only thing they really do is stand around in the background. The Tootsie Roll Owl is part of the flying squad used to take down the Xobytes late in the movie, but it's not particularly noteworthy.

#19: Sonny The Cuckoo Bird: The mascot for Cocoa Puffs, Sonny's only role in the workprint is also as part of the flying squad used to take down the Xobytes. In the finished film, he was replaced with a character called "Jetpack Jeffery", some sort of elf with a big jetpack and an even bigger tumor sticking out of his head. I have no idea why- it's such an odd character design, and elves and jetpacks don't exactly mesh together well thematically.

#20: Mr Peanut: Mr Peanut, the Planters mascot, appears very briefly toward the end of the movie to hand Dex a message from Lord Flushington about their plan to take down Brand X. He doesn't say anything, and in the finished film it's instead Vlad Chocool who informs Dex about their plan. It really is wild how so many well-known mascots were in the movie at this point, compared to the finished film where most of the ones used are somewhat obscure.

#21: The Energizer Bunny: The Energizer Bunny, mascot for Energizer batteries, appears towards the end fighting off Brand X soldiers with some slick martial arts moves. While the Energizer Bunny does appear in the finished film (very briefly in crowd scenes) he never gets a chance to shine like he does here in the workprint, which is a shame because it would've been awesome to watch a tiny little rabbit beat the crap out of a bunch of grown men.

So that makes 21 appearances from real-world brand mascots in the workprint, only SLIGHTLY more than the finished film's count of 18. But the workprint has far more that are popular, recognizable and you'd actually see in most real grocery stores. The M&Ms, Pringles, Golden Crisp, Chiquita Banana. Compare that to Mr Bubble... Mama Celeste... Duncan Hines... you'd be forgiven for not even knowing who half of those are. Not that I necessarily think the movie would've been better if it had a scene where the M&Ms show up for 5 seconds to crack a penis joke, but I think it's a necessity if you're going to make a movie about a supermarket coming to life at night- for that premise to work you NEED to have characters and mascots you'd recognize from an actual supermarket, and so on that front the workprint succeeds where the finished film fails.

Seeing all these characters from existing grocery products makes Marketropolis actually FEEL like it's a supermarket rather than just a generic cartoon city. That being said, this whole thing is reminiscent of a kind of movie I've seen a lot of in recent years- I like to call them "Thing You Recognize" movies, because they're movies where they're clearly just showing off all the famous characters they own, in the hopes you'll like it because you saw a thing you recognized. You know what I mean, Ready Player One, The Flash, that horrible Space Jam sequel... they put Alex's Droogs from Clockwork Orange in the background of that one, like "Hey, remember the Droogs? You liked the Droogs, right?" And yeah, I liked the Droogs... when they were in A Clockwork Orange, not in your half-assed self-mastubatory children's basketball movie! I mean, what were they thinking? But I'm getting off topic now, and besides- Foodfight! isn't the cause of this kind of filmmaking, it's merely a symptom of it. I hope you enjoyed learning about all the cameos in this version of the film, and join me next time as I finish up my analysis of the Foodfight! Workprint!

#foodfight #dex dogtective #daredevil dan #m&ms #mr peanut #lady x #charlie tuna #pepperidge farm remembers #pringles #oscar mayer #chef boyardee #the california raisins #analysis

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impulsivesuperrobin · 1 year ago

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okay @readbyred reblogged my hatchetfield oc threat post so here we go: (i apologize in advance for how rough this is)

mallory-morgan jägerman

(“it’s just mal. that’s a whole…mouthful i never asked for.”)

general info:

- east/southeast asian american

- bisexual and genderfluid (he/she/they)

- only a month and a half younger than max (18)

- is friends with steph more than the rest of the popular kids

- is “friends” with all of the popular kids because of max, but would much rather hang out/around the nerds

- has some of the gift that mainly manifests in prophetic poetry (nighthawks fly/jägerman falls/when the hatchet swings toward us/upon who do we call?)

- dabbles in the occult, but not too seriously (tarot readings, crystals, ghost hunting but not 100% in their belief in these things)

- was adopted at age 8, definitely favored by their parents but also isn’t completely certain the jägermans didn’t just adopt them to appear more virtuous

- max is both protective and antagonistic towards them

- they’re also protective and antagonistic towards max bc they know how it is at home for him but also is totally aware how much of a dick he is to everyone else

- they also are slightly aware of the fact that they are only tolerated around the popular kids (besides steph) because they’re his sibling (“i’m a jägerman, max is the jägerman.)

- they 100% are kinda a little into richie (in a “his autistic swag and utter lack of rizz has bewitched me” sort of way)

- in timelines where miss holloway isn’t dead: works at miss retro’s

now onto them in npmd:

- sits in between richie and grace in highschool is killing me

- sings “like a jock he cliches” in literal monster pt 1 as he walks across the stage

- proper intro is in the flick-it ticket scene

- tries to get max to leave richie alone (“c’mon maxie, don’t you have better things to do with your time? you’re already gonna be late for class.”)

- rolls his eyes at kyle and jason making fun of grace but also immediately exits when max starts thirsting over her (in a “i hear enough of this at home, i’m out. cannot watch you fall on your face about this” way)

- is with steph and the cheerleaders when they’re talking about steph getting stood up by pete

- is at least a little into how intimidating steph is when threatening ruth and richie into telling her where pete is

- joins them in the boys’ bathroom, apologizes to pete on behalf of max (“as a jägerman, sorry— about your eye, and my brother, and the fact that i’m related to him.”)

- “that’s some cool kid privilege right there.” “yeah, they’re not wrong steph.”

- visible disgust at grace saying max “[strikes] lust in the souls of the innocent”

- is totally in on the plan to scare max (“he may be my brother, but maxwell jägerman is a class a fucking dickwad.”)

- “oh he hates ghosts. ever since we were kids and i convinced him one lived in the garbage disposal.”

- agrees with pete about the waylon place making them feel uneasy, but it’s more the vibe than the structure of the house

- bully the bully: “he’s just a nerd in disguise” “i know that’s right.” [i’m definitely on the max is a closeted theater kid train]

- richie: *talking film specs* mal: *disproportionately infatuated* “you know a lot about this stuff huh?”

- is genuinely happy when max gets all excited about the prank bc she can tell he’s being genuine

- total shock and denial when max falls and dies (“he-he can’t be dead! it’s maxie, he’s like invincible!”)

- goes right into humor to try to deflect (“we just murdered a football star right before the big game!” “fuck! my brother’s dead and we’re gonna lose to clivesdale?!?! this is the worst day ever.”)

- bury the bully: “this is a lot.” “yeah, even for me.”

- “it’s been…weird at home. i feel…guiltier about not feeling guilty than about what we did. that’s usually wrong right?”

- between go, go nighthawks and the locker room scene: “hey, uh, shitlips! i know you’re not supposed to talk in the mascot costume so don’t say anything. but since you’re not under constant threat of swirlies anymore, you should maybe try asking me to homecoming. after the game?”

- he gets called into the interrogation scene late but just in time to find out that richie died

- grace accuses her of telling about max (“why would i incriminate myself?”)

- “grace…what are you thinking?” “if she starts snapping again, i’m out.”

- when they dig up the black book, they feel almost physically ill (“i feel worse about this than being in the waylon place guys.”)

- “i’ll try luring max away while you guys get to the school. hopefully there’s enough of my brother in there that keeps him from killing me. at least long enough to buy you some time.”

- max throws in “you turned my own sibling against me!” when attacking steph at the school

- attends homecoming (“never thought i’d be a homecoming kinda person, but this is nice.”

#starkid #team starkid #hatchetfield #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #hatchetfield oc #mallory-morgan jägerman

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eyeslikewatercoolers · 1 year ago

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She's Gonna Be Popular-Chap 1 (Anarcia)

It's here, the She's All That AU! Also, I don't have much to say here, so...onto the story!

Read on ao3

Mondays were usually Marcia’s favorite day of the week. Most people hated Mondays, but it was a day Marcia thrived on. It was a fresh start to a brand new week and new opportunities.

Except this particular Monday, this one Marcia loathed.

It was supposed to be their favorite Monday until the cast list for the spring musical got posted from the auditions the Friday before. Their talents and long-acting resume should have made them perfect for the lead role in Hello Dolly.

Both fate and the drama teacher who made the cast list had other plans.

Marcia’s name was nowhere on the list, and her name is never missing from a cast list. She has never been below a supporting character since her first year at theater camp. It’s obviously a miss-print, so it’s an easy fix. Or so she thought it would be.

She already pestered the drama teacher all morning about his mistake.

“Not even understudy? Are you sure this isn’t some mistake? I know there were a lot of auditions this year, but surely you didn’t forget to put my name on the cast list.” Marcia asked after they snuck into the drama classroom in between classes.

The bell rang as she patiently waited for an answer. American Lit class be damned if she’s late. Getting on the cast list was more important.

His response was something she did not want to hear. “Your audition wasn’t up to par this year. You can still work in the crew if you would like,” he told her as he gently locked them out of the drama classroom so he could teach the first-year drama class.

Working in the crew would be the last place she wanted to be right now. Constantly seeing people on the stage where she wasn’t? That sounded like torture.

Marcia was spewing all day. If she wasn’t going to be on the stage, where would her place be in school this semester?

Dropping their bento-style lunch box at their usual spot at the outdoor table, Marcia plopped themself next to Sugar. Not even their favorite turkey and pesto pinwheels and lemon cookies would turn this day around.

“Bad day, Marshall?” Luxx asked from across her seat before putting a forkful of salad into their mouth.

“What the hell will I do this semester if I can’t even be in the stupid musical?” Marcia said as she angrily unzipped the lunchbox sleeve. “I’ll take any suggestions.”

“What about the cheer team? You could ask Jax if they would let you on the squad.” Sugar offered as she picked a couple of almonds from the pile between her and Spice.

Marcia shook her head, “They’re just getting ready to go to Nationals in a month. The only way Jax would even consider putting me on the team is if a whole ‘We Are The Tigers’ situation happened.”

“But our mascot is a ram.” Spice pointed out, tilting her head in confusion.

“It’s a mus- You know what? Not important right now.” Marcia said, not wanting to explain an entire musical to their friend. “What else do we have?”

“You could help with prom. The committee is still looking for juniors to help with planning.” Spice suggested.

Marcia shrugged, “I’d rather be on the prom court than be on the committee hearing people argue about the theming and venues.”

“Yeah, but it’s always the same circle of people that voted onto prom court. It would be cool to see someone who isn’t uber-rich and popular win prom royalty.” Luxx pointed out.

“I think anyone at this school could win that title. As long as they’re hot, it’s an easy win.”

“Sugar, you’re a genius!”

“I am?”

Marcia perked up, looking up in excitement. “I can get anyone at this school voted as prom royalty, and the school won’t have to see another predictable crowning! It’ll be memorable to the whole school, and I can take the credit for it.”

“You want to bet on that, then?” Luxx asked. “You know, the bet?”

Marcia thought for a moment and nodded. “You’re on. Go ahead and pick them out for me.”

“So you’re saying I can pick anyone at this school, then you’d make them win prom royalty?” Luxx looked around the school’s courtyard and set their eyes on a girl with a messy top knot and oversized clothes, quietly reading on an old bench. “I pick her.”

Marcia stared at the girl from afar as the twins looked at Luxx in shock. They’d seen the girl around school a few times but didn’t know much about her.

“Her? Don’t you think that’s a little harsh?” Sugar asked as she pointed to the girl, trying to keep her voice low.

“Yeah, I think she only has one friend, and Sasha graduates this year,” Spice added, her voice at normal volume, as her sister pressed a finger to her lips, begging Spice to keep her voice quiet.

Marcia looked back at Luxx and crossed her arms in front of her, “Fine, I’ll make her prom queen, I’ll show you.” she said with a determined look.

Luxx cocked their head in response, “You don’t even know her name, do you?”

“…No, but that won’t stop me from winning this bet.”

Later in the afternoon, Marcia was in their last class of the day. Their anger had subsided but was now replaced by worry over making the most shy and introverted girl in school into this year’s coveted prom queen.

Marcia still had no clue what this girl’s name was (the twins refused to tell her since Luxx considered it ‘an unfair advantage’ if she used outside help) so this bet looked much better for Luxx now.

Marcia sat across the biology lab table from the twins and watched the girl from earlier enter the room, this time wearing thick square glasses. She looked around at the other tables before going to the teacher’s desk.

“She’s been in our class this whole time?” she whisper-questioned.

Sugar nodded, “She was in our geometry class last year too.”

Marcia sighed as she watched the girl talk to their teacher, with slight concern in the girl’s brown eyes.

“Where’s Irene? She’s the only other person in my lab group.” the girl asked.

“Irene got transferred into Chemistry since the credit from her old school covered this class.” the teacher explained. “You are more than welcome to join another group.”

The girl looked around to the other tables, “I’ll just do the work myself. It’ll be fine.” she shrugged and walked to the empty table in the back of the classroom.

Marcia looked back to the twins and started gathering their books and colorful pens on the table “I’m gonna be her lab partner. It’s perfect.” they scrambled out of the chair.

“What about us? We’re clueless about this science stuff without you!” Spice whined.

“You two will be fine! Sugar’s good at math and Spice, you…” Her voice trailed off, thinking of an academic compliment. “You have good handwriting! Bye!” Marcia picked up the books and walked across the room to the back table.

The girl looked up at her, looking unamused. Marcia realized this part she had never planned as she set her belongings down.

“Hi!” Marcia cheerfully said after a few seconds of awkwardly staring at each other.

“Hi.” The other girl responded, sounding slightly confused and bored.

“I heard you needed a lab partner. I’m Marcia.” she quickly said with a smile.

“I already know your name, we have three other classes together.” the girl said, pulling out her notebooks and a black pen. “I don’t need help with this class if that’s what you came here for.”

The dark-haired girl seemed uninterested in talking anymore as she started writing the Punnett squares on the whiteboard in her notebook.

Marcia made a mental note to herself to learn more about the people outside her social circle.

Luckily the teacher walked by their table, saving Marcia from looking worse.

“Oh, Anetra, you already found a new lab partner. Good choice, since there’s a big project coming up for your final grade.”

“Oh, she’s not my-” Anetra stopped talking as the teacher walked away to another table. Sighing, she looked back at the blonde “I hope you’re good at biology, since it looks like I’m stuck with you.”

Marcia felt like jumping for joy. She finally learned Anetra’s name, and they will work closely on the project for the rest of the semester. They’ll gain Anetra’s trust, (maybe a makeover later) and then they have a clear shot to prom court.

Winning this bet will be so much easier than she initially thought. Forget about the damn spring musical, Marcia had better plans now.

#anarcia #rpdr fanfiction #rpdr s15 #my writing #my fics #she's all that au

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cy-cyborg-draws · 1 year ago

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G'day mate, reckon if Straya was a bloody country-dragon, it'd be a ripper, breathin' fire like a barbie, and sportin' a snazzy set of scales, I reckon! But what do you reckon it'd look like? Is this request a mighty fine one? Cricket!

Ok, so it's not quite what you were requesting, but the OC I used as my mascot before Nix (the purple dragon in my pfp) was supposed to originally be an unironic, really stereotypically Aussie dragon lol, but in all the worst ways.

This is a drawing of her design after I toned most of that down, I don't have any of my really old art showing her from back in those days (which I'm honestly kind of grateful for lmao) but this is Kiesse. She was originally named Chrissy, She was green and gold because that's the Australian national colours when we compete at the Olympics/Paralympics (something I was working towards going to at the time, hence the obsession), her markings (not present in this version) were a reference to a popular style of tattoo among the surfer guys in my home town and she markings on one of her shoulders, I don't remember which, that were supposed to resemble the Southern Cross Tattoo a lot of dickheads people here have. It's kind of the Australian version of getting the American flag tattooed on you, with all the questionable implications that also tends to have (the only people I met who were an exception to that were the Paralympians I used to play basketball with).

There was one particular artwork I did of her though, I think it was to celebrate Australia doing well at the olympics or some other major sporting event, that was more or less exactly what you were asking for lmao. Again, completely unironically. I think she was wearing one of those cork hats everyone thinks we wear, at a BBQ on the beach. I remember trying to draw a kangaroo in there somewhere too, but I was like 13/14 so it probably didn't look much like anything honestly 😂.

I still draw Kiesse sometimes (I think there's some art of her currently in my queue) but she looks nothing like that anymore other than the green and yellow colour pallet (becuase honestly I just like the combo lol)

With all that being said, I won't be able to do this request. It brings back too many painfully cringy memories from my childhood😂I'm sorry.

#id in alt text #dragon #dragon artist #dragon oc #dragon art #childhood cringe #cringe #my art #old art #old oc #old ocs #old oc art #Q and A #Ask #request

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iheartpeppino · 7 months ago

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So, I was a kid during the 90's and... pizza was basically king back then. The Ninja Turtles ate it so of course it was the coolest food on the planet. I saw The Noid when he first became popular, and young me absolutely hated him because he was such an ugly bastard.

However, another pizza mascot I actually liked back then was Pizza Head... no, not my clown husband, I mean Pizza Hut's mascot from the same era. This guy:

I always thought he was adorable and felt really bad for him because, in every commercial he was in, he was antagonized by Steve, a sentient pizza cutter who was often in disguise:

Here is Steve as "Chef Steve", one of many identities he took on.

Not to mention, sometimes more than one Steve would show up at a time:

Here is Steve portraying an entire alien race known as "Steve-ians".

Funny thing is that Pizza Hut's "Pizza Head" commercials were all made by the same guy responsible for Saturday Night Live's "Mr. Bill" animated segments. Considering Pizza Head and Mr. Bill both suffered tremendous violence from their respective tormentors - Pizza Head had Steve, and Mr. Bill had Sluggo - it's not hard to make the connection.

This is a pic I stole from Pinterest of dolls of Mr. Bill and Sluggo. This... is actually the first time I've seen Sluggo, as I never really watched SNL when I was younger.

It's actually because of Pizza Hut's Steve character I wanted to make a much-needed update to my Pizza Tower OC. Melissa Monotoli now has a large pizza cutter as a weapon... guess what she nicknamed it? Steve! Not only is it a direct reference to it being a potential Pizzahead killer, but...

It's also a reference to Ryuko Matoi's Scissor Blade from Kill la Kill!

(I really need to draw Melissa wielding Steve. It's supposed to go with her sentient suit, Count Heirloom.)

#pizza tower #discussion #pizzahead #pizza mascots #inspiration #pizza hut #pizza head #pizza cutter steve #snl #mr bill #kill la kill

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okthatsgreat · 10 months ago

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An odd sort of situation to put your ocs in but how would they handle being the 'face' of Danganronpa like Makoto and Junko, with all the burdens this entails. I don't know how to justify it, maybe they got so popular that Team Danganronpa decided to add them as a mascot, or it's an au where their season was the first and they were the main character.

everytime i get an ask like this i hop out of my chair and start busting it down peanuts style i hope you know this

I'LL DO IT FROM MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED TO LEAST LIKELY!!!!!!!! plus i will talk a LOT because oruughugr pr and how danganronpa is perceived by a general audience is so so important to me in this au i loveeeee just how fucking awful and dystopian it is it is so fun to write.

for anybody who doesnt know a lot of my writing centres around a post-game universe where danganronpa is an extremely successful company worth billions, and ALL former participants are expected to remain "in character" for pr reasons so the company can continue to shill them as products essentially. think of it like an extremely popular disney movie, except all of the characters are actually real people who do not get treated as such, most if not all of them have horrific emotional and physical trauma from participating in a killing game simulation, most of them are not the age they are actually SUPPOSED to be, and the movie has been rebooted more than 50 times until it is extremely watered down and repetitive. imagine you are sixteen years old recovering from an extremely painful execution and having nightmares constantly only to have to wake up in the morning and greet a hundred pr people who are going to make a tiktok of you. i would go a little crazy

MOST TO LEAST LIKELY TO HANDLE THE PRESSURE OF BEING THE FACE OF THE COMPANY:

• rie: now i should start this off by saying that this will in no way shape or form be GOOD for her. like nobody on this list is going to reap any benefits from being the face of the company and constantly expected to perform. but rie is somebody who has become very accustomed to performance and PEOPLE PLEASING. she already is one of the main spokespeople of her season in most post game settings, just because she is extremely articulate and knows when to agree or disagree!! now she IS unfortunately going to have to endure fan service to an extreme degree just by virtue of being this beautiful person whose brand centres around her beauty and charm and years down the line she is ABSOLUTELY going to crack. like anybody in this position is eventually going to crack (even makoto). but until then she'll last a LONG WHILE. i can definitely see her being well liked early on but dividing a lot of the fanbase way down the line, like twitter changes their minds on her every other week LMAOOO. she has to be SO fucking careful what she says because everybody is out to get her ass. one part of twitter thinks shes a boring fanservice nothing character, another part of twitter thinks shes snobby and stuck up, another part of twitter thinks she is the most angelic person on the planet who couldnt possibly do any wrong or have any flaws as a teenage girl. rie yawned at a convention once because she didnt get any sleep the night prior and she got cancelled online the next day

• erin: another girl with identity issues YAY!!!!!! team danganronpa would definitely make her stay as pippy (which they already kinda do in a postgame setting), but this time to the WAY extreme. she is NOT allowed to call herself erin. ALL of her clothes are to be on brand for pippy, including any pajamas in case paparazzi snap a photo through her window. also because of the paparazzi, pippy needs to be smiling AT ALL TIMES NO STOPPING, because even a neutral expression implies that she is not enjoying herself and team dr can NOT have their main star suggesting they are unhappy. erin is somebody who has been trained from an extremely young age to be a commodity and performer, and being in this position would likely get rid of any chance of her truly being erin ever again. her brain would flick into survival mode and it would likely be permanent at that point. what is also awful about erin being the face of the company is the fact that her talent is so targetted towards children that there is not a doubt in my mind she would be used SPECIFICALLY to advertise to that audience. it would kill what was left of her honestly. most of her days are likely filled with her looking over a crowd of young and hopeful teenagers looking to audition for their favorite show, and instead of warning them of the absolute hell that is about to arrive she instead has to wave her arms and go hi hi it's me pippy!!!!!!! im so happy to be here and im so happy to have joined danganronpa!!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD ALL DO IT TOO!!!!!!!!

• yoshito: he would not have a good time, and he is NOT prepared for pr as he had grown up being a very "behind the scenes" kinda guy. but yoshito is a hard worker and he knows what would happen to him and those he cares about if he gives up now. because he is another "hope guy" and his character is supposed to mirror the watered-down traits of makoto, yoshito likely would experience a very similar situation to makoto in that he needs to keep up this hope act as long as he possibly can. he is no longer yoshito sawa, he is an idea. a concept. he represents one side of the hope vs despair argument. who cares about nuance-- not team danganronpa, not the audience, and certainly not yoshito anymore!!!! i can see him dividing the fanbase, not as extremely as rie but there are definitely a few arguments about him being a bland cookie cutter character

• ryobe: as the antagonist of his season, ryobe would be shoved into box IMMEDIATELY. he is already a """performer""" in a way, but not to the extent of rie or erin where he is instantly good at lying and playing his part. for the first few years he would really struggle to stay within the boundaries of what team dr is telling him to do, because ryobe is a guilty ass guy who feels TERRIBLE for that simulator and is genuinely trying to become a better person. but NOPE! he no longer gets to grow up. he needs to stay goofy and arrogant and reckless forever, for every new season he makes a cameo in and every press conference he does forevermore. similar to erin i think he would definitely lose himself in the character to the point where he struggles to truly identify who he actually is and who danganronpa is trying to get him to be. even worse i can really see the audience LOVING him to the point where he's had to change addresses like three times

• sae: she can be a leader when she needs to be but she is far from the most charismatic person alive, not to mention she will NEVERRR adapt to the fast paced environment that team dr calls for. sae is built on independence-- she knows how to be a captain when necessary but she is a fairly private person who thrives in silence. she is wise and very patient, but even she is going to reach an extremely fast boiling point and start yelling LMAO. the internet would HATTEEE how slowly he gives speeches, how long he seems to drawl on, how he doesn't exactly look the part of all of the other dr women they've seen for years prior, etc etc. she'd take it all on the shoulder if it means lessening the burden for the rest of her class but eventually she snaps, starts screaming loudly at a fan during a press conference, and her whole career plummets from there GFDJGD. and honestly it might be for the best. she would suffer severe consequences absolutely, and team dr would likely try to get her to do press stuff again, but she would be left alone far more often

• billie: she's young as hell, an extremely insecure teenager, and is absolutely NOT a leader in any way shape or form. her first few speeches in front of a crowd will have everybody on the planet wondering why the fuck they even chose her to be the spokeswoman in the first place BHFDSJGFD. however i have her above mika and naomi because i really think she mightttt be able to adapt. if shes one of the very first danganronpa participants ever and has to basically pioneer this role for herself (like makoto and junko did) then oh god no she's gonna fail hard and her mental health is immediately going down the drain. but if she had some kind of mentor, she MIGHT be able to make it. i really think there is a universe where she grows into it. now this doesnt mean she ENJOYS it, and she is going to seriously struggle with her anxiety and depression regardless, but she might be able to adapt just enough to survive. i can not imagine team dr ever letting her speak for them so its a little hard to say what they would possibly be asking her to do LMFAO, i guess they would try to keep her as relatable as possible? her clothes would be selected by a stylist and she would have zero creative freedom anymore. similar situation to ibuki where her style would change with the trends to fit what is "alternative" that year. billie would become this relatable moody teenager that a lot of teen girls can project onto, and team dr would NEVERRR let her grow up, which is frankly her worst nightmare

• mika: the only reason she is this far down is because she would hate the role she's been shoved into SO badly it would honestly tank her career. because she would JUST be the love interest and that is it lmfao. no ultimate talent for anybody to latch onto, no big ideal she could represent (as she was far from the most hopeful/despairing person in that class). mika would be allocated to yoshitos love interest and she actually for real would go crazy about it because COME ONNNN. similar situation to sonia i reckon where team dr wont actually CONFIRM any sort of relationship, just so her "options are open" and fans can speculate about who she's going to get with and all of that. two months in and mika would punch a guy FHJDKG. she reads none of the speeches provided to her if they mention anything about yoshito. she spirals in the dressing room and then refuses to walk out on stage. normally she is so good at making rational decisions, like she KNOWS it would be smarter for her to just go along with the company, but in this specific instance i really can not see her lasting for long under this serious amount of pressure from the company and millions of fans. team dr would hate her, most fans would hate her, and she would be keeping herself alive by a hair. mika in a postgame setting is very usually standing behind yoshito and using him as a shield rather than taking the spotlight for herself, and for good reason

• naomi: i think ive briefly mentioned this before in the ask blog but naomi is not in any kind of mental space to be in front of a camera or a large crowd of people lol!!!!!!!!!! in postgame settings she is very rarely seen at large gatherings, and if she IS she leaves early because team dr knows her very well at this point and they are not willing to let her fuck things up again lmfao. naomi as the face of the company would spell immediate disaster. she can't handle the pressure, she's never had so many eyes on her at one time and would become even more paranoid than she usually is, she would struggle to talk and make speeches honestly to the point where she goes nonverbal, she would act weird and flighty, twitter would hate her ass immediately, etc etc. i can't see her adapting or getting better at being a spokesperson, i truly honestly just think she would suck so hard hgfdjksgf. its adapt or die and brother she is dying

andi would kill everybody and then itself

THANK YOU SO MUCH AND I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS IS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ask lee #anonymous #kicking my feet giggling My Ocs............................#dr: 50th #oc: sae #oc: billie #oc: andi

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theburdenofresponsibility · 1 year ago

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Harry Prince and the Philosopher's Stone - Chapter 5 - The Potions Master

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“Listen up, first years,” comes the loud voice of Professor Sprout as she grins down at them. “We have to get the first day speeches out of the way.”

“Isn’t this technically the second day?” Ernie asks.

The Professor shakes her head, waving a dismissive hand.

“One feast and a good sleep hardly counts as a day. I hope you’re all well rested because we’ll be going straight into classes and I know magic is new ground entirely for a good few of you.”

“First classes tend to be quite introductory so it shouldn’t be too stressful, but it’s still a lot to process if you’re tired,” Tina says knowingly, cradling a mug between her hands.

The girl seems a lot less tied now, as she accompanies Professor Sprout, than she had done last night. Her eyes are more alert and her posture straighter. Gabriel, however, is nowhere to be seen right now.

“Yes, thank you, Tina,” Professor Sprout says as a couple of students seem to deflate from relief around Harry, now in yellow-accented robes that they found in place of the fully black ones they had all packed in their suitcases. The Professor had attributed that to house elves but that didn’t really clear things up for Harry at all. Sprout then does a double take, looking back at Tina. “Are you allowed to have coffee?”

The girl takes a pointed slurp, not breaking eye contact with the professor, before Sprout just shakes her head and turns back to the first years before her.

“Well, anyway, welcome to Hufflepuff! Our house colours are yellow and black and our mascot is the badger. We value loyalty and kindness here, but I expect you’re hiding some bright minds in there as well.

“Now, I’m the Herbology teacher, as well as your head of house, so you can absolutely come to me for anything plant or house related. We’ve had a fair few green thumbs in this house, but we get all sorts too.”

“Other houses seem to think we’re the dumb house,” Tina cuts in bitterly, “but that’s a load of cack.”

“Thank you, Tina, yes. There have been Ministers for magic from Hufflepuff that have been exceedingly popular, like Grogan Stump, and experts in all sorts of fields, like Newt Scammander who revolutionised the outlook on treatment of magical creatures. What I’m saying is that there’s no need to limit yourself, and you can come to me with any requests or interests and I’ll do my damndest to point you in the right direction, understood?”

“Yes, Professor Sprout,” Harry and the other first years chorus.

“Great! Now, timetables: you’ll receive them at breakfast today, as happens every year. Breakfast is 6:30 to 8:30 every morning, so you should head there as soon as we’re cleared up here. Lunch is served 12:00 to 13:00, and dinner runs from 18:00 to 20:00. You don’t have to be there as soon as it’s served but do try to make sure you eat. If you don’t, the kitchens are just round the corner and I know lots of my students like to sneak in from time to time.”

“If you ask an older Hufflepuff nicely they’ll probably show you,” Tina agrees.

“Well, I have to finish watering the plants in here, so Tina you take this lot up to breakfast before they miss all the good stuff.”

With a nod and a smirk at the group before her, Tina leads the way back through the corridors and up the stone stairs to the entry hall.

“Just so you know,” Tina says, “houses only have to sit up their designated table officially during the first and last meals of the year. Any other times you can sit wherever you please, in case you guys make friends in other houses.”

“Aren’t we supposed to compete against other houses?” Wayne asks.

“Yeah,” the prefect shrugs, moving to push open the doors to the Great Hall, “but I’d still encourage not limiting your friends. We’re not gonna be in Hogwarts forever, and house loyalty doesn’t matter in the wider world. Besides, even when people say they’re not interested, the amount of Hufflepuffs who end up adopting or being adopted by Slytherins is kind of hilarious… especially given how it makes some of the Gryfindors want to blow a fuse.”

With a sharp smirk, Tina departs from the Hufflepuff and plops herself at the Slytherin table between a girl with golden curls and a boy with cropped black hair. They both greet her enthusiastically and a Ravenclaw makes a beeline towards her as well.

“Huh,” Megan says intelligently as the group of first years make their way over to an empty-ish stretch of the Hufflepuff table.

Ernie huffs, scraping scrambled eggs onto his plate.

“Well,” he says, “I’m not gonna be friends with Slytherins. I’ve heard awful things about them.”

“Like what?” Harry frowns, putting a bacon sandwich together for himself.

“That all the bad witches and wizards are from Slytherin,” he says, like it should be obvious. “Everyone knows that.”

Hannah rolls her eyes at Harry before turning back to her conversation with Susan about accidental magic they did before coming to Hogwarts. Harry thinks they are thinking the same thing.

His eyes dart over to the Slytherin table and, this time, actually manages to find and make eye contact with Zabini who smirks back at him.

All musing on house hostility and friendships are cut off as a flurry of owls swoop into the Great Hall from somewhere in the ceiling. Peering through the chaos of feathers and flurrying wings, Harry spots an opening in the roof right against the wall the staff table is in front of. That must be the owl entry for the post, he realises. Useful since it meant owls didn’t have to wait outside for someone to open a window like they did for Snape back home.

Each owl swoops along the lengths of the tables, expertly dropping letters and packages into their recipients lap before taking off. Harry isn’t really expecting much already, so it’s no shock when the only thing dropped atop his plate, luckily missing the greasy mess from his bacon, is an identical envelope that everyone else around him gets.

Excited to see what his schedule for the year will look like, Harry tears into it quickly and looks over all the lessons. Taking note of all the class titles is incredibly exciting. Sure, Harry knows that magic is a thing that exists but he hasn’t known what types of magic exist up until now, nor how they’re separated into teachable topics.

The other muggle-raised first years look just as awed as he does, and even most of the magical-raised children are buzzing with excitement to finally learn all the things they’ve been able to see around them all their lives.

“Awh nice,” Justin is grinning as Harry looks back up from inspecting his own timetable. The other boy is waving his paper under the noses of Kevin and Susan, though his eyes flicker round to everyone else as well. “We’ve got Friday morning’s off!”

“Nice,” Wayne agrees.

“What do we got today?” Megan asks, too busy liberally applying lemon curd to her toast to look at her own sheet.

“History of Magic,” Roger dutifully supplies, fidgeting with the cuff of his robe, “and then Defence Against the Dark Arts.”

–

Breakfast breezes by, everyone rested and ready to start learning at the magical school. They wait for each other, chatting excitedly in their seats, before hurrying from the Great Hall to find their first classroom with plenty of time to spare.

Anticipation only seems to lead them so far, however, and within ten minutes they become painfully aware of the fact they have no idea where they’re going. They must make something of a spectacle, a cluster of Hufflepuff firsties looking around with wide, lost eyes. A pair of Ravenclaws roll their eyes at their murmuring about which corridor to look down next while a group of Slytherin’s watch on in sympathy.

“Well,” Megan huffs, “this is certainly a way to start the year.”

Kevin elbows her sharply in the ribs, making her cringe, while Wayne snorts out in laughter. Hannah slings an arm over Harry’s shoulders.

“We’re doomed,” she says seriously and despite the lingering anxiety in his stomach from being late to his first ever class he can’t help the way his lips twitch upwards in amusement.

“What’s all this?” a voice creaks out from behind them.

The group jumps, whipping around to meet the scowling face of the caretaker. A quick glance at each other reveals that none of them really know how the old man managed to sneak up on them – the corridor had been mostly clear just a moment ago. It’s like the man and the cat slinking around his ankles simply walked through a wall to confront them.

“I hope you new kids aren’t up to any funny business,” he says, eyes narrowed.

They all huddle slightly closer together, and Susan lets out a little squeak.

“No, sir,” Hannah promises.

“You better not be. See if I’ll be putting up with any more trouble makers. Quit loitering and get to class before I talk to Dumbledore about having you thrown in the dungeons, the lot of you.”

Not wanting to goad the caretaker into actually following through with this threat, they all hurry back the way they came, slipping through one of the many archways in the castle.

“He’s so creepy,” Roger shudders.

“So creepy,” Wayne nods solemnly.

“Who’s creepy?”

The group all jump again, though this time they’d account that to the fact that Mr Filch had put them so much on edge.

“The caretaker,” Harry answers before offering the older boy a small smile. “Hi, Cedric.”

“You guys lost?” he smiles down at them, and they seem to droop in relief as one.

“So lost.”

“So so incredibly lost.”

Cedric huffs a laugh.

“Everyone is for at least their first week. You get used to the place eventually, but they could probably do with drawing up maps for the first years. Where are you guys headed?”

They relay their subject and room number and then all hurry to keep close on Cedric’s heels. A couple of them worry about making Cedric late but he just waves them off, explaining that he’s not bothered about being a little late and that Professor Flitwick will probably understand if he says he was helping the new students find their classes.

“The easiest way to all the floors is this way,” he explains, leading them to the room full of moving staircases. “You just have to keep an eye on the stairs.”

Cedric waves politely to some of the canvases inhabitants as they pass, making all the younger Hufflepuffs watch on in awe as they wave back and offer polite greetings. Hannah dares to ask how he’s friendly with so many and, with a flustered face, he confesses to getting incredibly lost a lot of the time when he first came to Hogwarts.

“The paintings are usually pretty helpful, if you guys get lost. Ghosts tend to be fairly preoccupied but the Fat Friar’ll always stop to help a Hufflepuff and Sir Nicolas – the Gryffindor ghost – can be swayed with enough pleading looks.”

He shoots a grin back at them as he leads the way to a now silent classroom. They’ve definitely missed the start of the lesson; hopefully it won’t be by much and they can catch on quickly.

“Never trust Peeves, the poltergeist, though,” Cedric warns before stopping outside a wooden door displaying their room number. “Here we are.”

The boy receives a wave of genuine thanks, everyone relieved to finally be in the right place. They only get easily waved off by him before he’s striding off to his own classroom, and so they all slip into their lesson quietly and awkwardly.

It seems they shouldn’t have worried, though. It turns out the teacher for History of Magic – an actual ghost! – doesn’t even notice them at all. He simply keeps droning on about what they will be covering in this year at Hogwarts like they’re not there at all.

Sharing quickly confused looks, the Hufflepuffs split up to sit themselves down in the spare seats. While the teacher may not have had any care for their arrival, the other students in the room do. Interspersed with their own yellow robes are green-clad students – Slytherins, Harry remembers – who shoot them looks as they slide into desks around them.

Harry ends up sat next to Roger at a desk behind where Zabini is sitting next to Hannah. They don’t do much talking, though, taking notes as the teacher rambles on in an unending drab monotone, barely pausing to note down things he says on the chalkboard they can see through his slightly translucent form.

The lesson continues on in this almost silence until the hour ends and everyone packs up their things, suddenly feeling very sleepy again.

“...You don’t think that’s how he always is?” Hannah turns around to ask them, as she’s shoving her quill and ink back into her bag. “Surely this is only because it’s the introductory lesson?”

Zabini is shaking his head doubtfully.

“I haven’t heard any promising things.”

Harry cringes at that, sharing a despairing look with the four students around him.

In no time their things are packed and they’re heading back out into the winding passages of the school, ready to brace the likelihood of getting lost in the pursuit of finding their next lesson. This time, with the knowledge of how to get back to the moving stairs and a much larger group on the look out for room numbers – it seems that they also share Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherin’s too – it doesn’t take them much time at all to reach their next class.

It’s when they’re lining up outside, ready to go in whenever the teacher comes out to meet them, that a Slytherin boy with white-blonde hair steps forward ready to make his move.

“So you’re Harry Potter?” the boy grins, expression prideful and superior in a way that immediately makes Harry wary. It doesn’t particularly help that the boy is flanked by two huge kids, staring down at him in the way that makes Harry think they really should be cracking their knuckles threateningly at him. It doesn’t make for an all too welcoming picture.

“Uh - yeah, I guess?” he answers intelligently. “But technically my legal name’s Harry Prince.”

The blonde boy tuts, but sticks out his hand, which Harry hesitantly shakes.

“The name’s Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. And this is Crabbe and Goyle.”

“Nice to… meet you?”

Malfoy smirks at that, like Harry’s confused words only stoked whatever ego he has.

“You’ll find that there are certain types of people that it’s better to be around, Prince. That’s something I can help you with, to make sure you’re making connections with the… right sort.”

Malfoy glances between the Hufflepuffs with great scrutiny, something which Zabini rolls his eyes at from where Harry can see him behind Malfoy’s entourage.

“Stick with me, and you’ll come out of Hogwarts in the best possible position, surrounded by upstanding members of society – family names with influence.”

The last of Harry’s confusion seems to melt away, his nose curling at that. Based on Malfoy’s own logic Harry isn’t sure Malfoy should really be wanting to be Harry’s friend. After all, despite what it turns out that Harry’s had waiting for him to claim from the bank, he grew up living at Spinner’s end, in what even Harry knows to be something of a run-down place, living comfortably enough but certainly not in indulgence.

And maybe Harry’s mad at Snape, and wants to know who he actually is, but… If Harry had been in Malfoy’s gang all this time, he likely wouldn’t be friends with Mickey, Mandy and Chris back home. Hell, he probably wouldn’t have been mates with anyone from school either. The idea that Harry would have missed out on them is startlingly unpleasant; they’re his family, near enough. Maybe more so than Snape since they never lied to him about anything more important than who stole his biscuits.

“I think I can decide who to be friends with for myself,” he frowns.

Malfoy’s jaw drops at that, the smug look sliding clean off. Apparently he thought Harry would gladly let him dictate who was good enough for him to be friends with. Between one blink and the next, that shocked look turns furious and it’s only the door swinging open to reveal a nervous looking professor, smelling strongly of garlic, who saves Harry from whatever outburst might have been headed his way.

–

“Well, that was an experience,” Hannah says as they wander around in the name of exploration.

Her, Blaise, Harry and Susan had broken off from the rest of their group during their break. Now they are finding their way around, trying to figure out where there classrooms are ahead of time, like they’re not going to forget and have to do this all over again. As much as Harry thinks he may be taking a liking to his housemates, at the least, it’s nice to be in a bit of a smaller group while he feels as overwhelmed as he does now.

Every hallway they turn down and staircase they climb seems to just reveal more and more students to gawk as they pass. At him. Pointing and whispering follows his every turn and Harry’s face feels hot from the attention.

It’s not like anyone’s bothering to be subtle, either. Their eyes outright cling to him and all conversations end while he’s in their eyesight. It doesn’t matter how most of Harry’s scar is covered, right now, from his dishevelled hair. The fringe flops in a mess over the top rim of his glasses since he, in his rush to meet Professor Sprout on time that morning, rushed through brushing it nicely. It’ll be in knots later but that, frankly, is the least of his concerns.

“There! Look, with those other Hufflepuff first years.”

“I’d have thought he’d have been a Gryffindor.”

“I hoped he’d be Ravenclaw… but honestly, me too.”

“Did you see his face?”

“Did you see his scar?”

He ducks his head, trying his best to tune their gossiping out, and pays more attention to what the group around him is talking about. Zabini has an eyebrow raised and Susan is looking up at Hannah curiously.

“What was an experience?” the red-head asks.

“The professors,” Hannah grins. “They were both so weird. I know it’s a wizarding school… but a boring ghost and a superstitious man afraid of his own shadow. Only makes you wonder what the other teachers we have are gonna be like.”

“Professor Snape is supposed to be highly regarded in the field of potion making,” Zabini offers.

“Gotta be better than what we’ve had so far then?” Susan offers hesitantly, which Hannah encourages by throwing an arm over her shoulder and grinning down at the shorter girl.

“Exactly!” she beams.

Harry can hardly match their bright moods though. Something heavy has just settled in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly he feels ridiculously, stupendously stupid. He can’t believe he didn’t think to check that, it’s just… Snape had told him he wasn’t the only Potions Professor – it just wasn’t physically possible for one man to fit 39 hours of lessons into the 25 hour school week – but he hadn’t– he couldn’t–

Reasonably, Harry knew, deep down, that this was a possibility. As far as he had been concerned it was a fifty-fifty chance, but knowing that and expecting it are two different things.

“We have Professor Snape?” he asks, picking up his pace again before the others realise his faltering.

Hannah hums an answer in the affirmative.

“Snape’s the professor in all black, right?” Sarah hedges.

Zabini nods; “Correct.”

She shudders and, instinctively, something in Harry bristles.

“He looks pretty creepy, to be honest,” the girl squeaks, to which Hannah responds by barking out an amused laugh.

“Oh, super creepy. Like he’s dressing up as a bat.”

“He doesn’t look that bad,” Harry grumbles and then cringes.

For one, he isn’t supposed to know or care about Snape – that was something his dad had not failed to make clear. And, on top of that, he’s still furious. Isn’t he?

–

By the time Harry finds himself queuing up outside Professor Snape’s dungeon classroom the following day, awaiting his first potions lesson, he’s more unsure than ever how he should be feeling. Snape had still lied and they haven’t talked about it since and Harry is still very much very very mad... but he also just wants his-- his Snape back. Hearing the others being so unsure of his father felt bad, something deep in his chest aching at the words. Maybe Auntie Maggie had a point... maybe... maybe they just needed to talk, no matter how much part of him wants to grip tight onto that righteous fury and never let go

The door flings itself open, interrupting his thoughts, and the assembled first years startle before the drawling call of “Enter” reaches their ears. One by one they shuffle neatly inside, lining up at the back of the room with the last student closing the door behind them carefully. It seems that it’s not just Sarah and Hannah who are a little disturbed by their potions professor’s aura. Half the Ravenclaws they share this class with are huddled together, casting nervous glances between each other, the empty seats, and the professor himself. Some of Harry’s new Hufflepuff mates seem to be faring even worse. Wayne’s swallow is audible beside him and Roger’s pallor is white enough to rival the ghosts'.

Harry's problem, however, remains much more complicated than that. He’s maybe realising that it might be a little difficult to pretend he doesn’t even know the man who has masqueraded as his dad for the past ten years of his life. And, to top it all off, he’s horrified to find this blossoming, staggering relief at seeing the man’s familiar form. The impatient scowl is something Harry has seen all too often growing up, and never for anything positive; and yet those billowing black robes remind him so starkly of home that a homesickness he didn’t even realise he has been feeling seems soothed away by the balm of Snape’s presence.

Maybe, after all, he isn’t any less freaked out than the rest of his class; his ears are ringing in alarm and it feels like all the blood’s rushed from his face.

“Find yourself seats,” the man of all the students’ lamentation says, tone not particularly kind. “We cannot wait around all day while you all gawk like toddlers who have never seen a potions set before.”

Everyone scrambles into whatever empty seat is closest, pulling out their notebooks, parchment, and other writing utensils. Harry thinks he might see a couple of students pull out biros and think that might not be a bad choice – Snape hadn’t exactly been the most patient teacher when helping a younger Harry with his homework, so Harry doesn’t doubt it might come in handy to have something that’s quicker to dry while speeding down all the notes Snape might throw at them.

Like all Harry’s classes so far, it starts out like normal with the register being taken. Well, normal save for the tense silence and terrified glances. This time Harry can hardly begrudge anyone for their attitudes, even he’s vibrating from nerves in his seat.

“Harry…” Snape says, before hesitating. It’s seemed so far that Harry’s name has been put down as ‘Harry Potter’ on all of his forms and registers so far, and he really hasn’t been sure whether or not he should talk to his teachers about that. He thinks he should at least talk to Professor Sprout about it but something feels like it’s holding him back. “Prince,” Snape finally decides on, and some of the other students turn and send him a confused frown.

The situation moves on quickly enough, getting through the list of names before Snape situates himself back up the front of the class. His arms cross before him and he frowns down at them, making the class squirm in their seats.

“You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic.”

Harry doubts that he’ll fall into that category. Enough evenings of his childhood had been spent watching Snape dice herbs and other ingredients in the kitchen as he peered in from the living room or perched on another stretch of counter to observe. Magic is many things, but so much of his perception of it is already built around potion making. He tastes the word magic in the tang of crushed garlic in the air, sees it in the shine of a blade, smells it in the mist pouring from Snape’s cauldron. Potion-making is something Harry thinks he’ll never be able to separate from his idea of magic, and given how much strain there is on his and Snape’s relationship, he doesn’t know if that’s a good thing anymore.

“I don’t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes,” Snape continues on; “the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the minds and ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death – if you aren’t as useless as the first years they usually send my way.”

No one speaks up. Though it looks as if, from the anxious shifting of a couple students in their seats, some people are desperate to prove Snape wrong, no one seems prepared to incur his wrath by speaking out of turn. When Snape seems to notice this, his expression twists into an amused smirk and he slithers down between the rows of desks, peering judgmentally at the faces of all the students – as if he could see their potential in the freckles on their skin or the shape of their noses.

“Prince!” he suddenly says, turning to face him so sharply it actually makes Harry jump. “What would you get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?”

Harry cringes, all eyes turning on him in an instant. Some of the looks are curious, others pitying. It doesn’t matter what his classmates are thinking, though – not with the way Snape’s staring him down. He doesn’t know the answer to this question; despite being raised by a potions professor, Harry doesn’t know all that much, since Snape had rather preferred to work diligently by himself even when Harry’s curious eyes clung to him.

“I don’t know.”

“You will address me as ‘Sir’, in this classroom as you would any other professor,” Snape snaps, voice cool and uncaring, with eyes narrowed, in a way that makes Harry flinch.

Something cold settles within himself. An unfeeling fury to match Snape’s own tone rises in the back of his throat. Why shouldn’t it, after all? Snape can hardly be expecting more from him when this is how he’s acting towards him--like he hasn't raised Harry his whole life. But, really, what else had Harry been expecting?

“Right,” Harry glares. “Well, I don’t know, sir.”

Snape sniffs in indignation, his own sour expression worsening. Judgement darkens his black eyes and the feeling makes Harry’s skin crawl.

“Let’s try again. Prince, where would you look if I told you to find a bezoar?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

This time Snape actually tuts.

“Did you not think to open your potions book before the start of term, Mister Prince.” Snape’s eyes flick round to the rest of the class before settling back on the boy glaring up at him. “All of you should know to at least read the summaries in your textbooks before your first class. I will not tolerate this failing to be made again in my class, is that understood?”

There are some quick nods and Snape, satisfied with the wider class’ input, turns to Harry one more time.

“What is the difference, Prince, between monkshood and wolfsbane?”

By now, the frustration that had been lingering under Harry’s skin has grown to a full boil. Rage burns along his veins and his hands tremble where they’re clenched on his lap. More than anything he wants to yell at Snape for being so horrible and awfully unfair – his cheeks burn from the humiliation, and the stares of everyone around him raises gooseflesh upon the back of his neck where he can feel their eyes on him – but he knows that Snape has the power to give him detention, humiliate him at school, and ground him.

Instead he takes a steadying breath, and stares back as impassively as he can feign.

“I don’t know, sir.”

“Clearly fame isn’t everything here. You will be expected to perform much better in future, Mister Prince.”

Harry barely listens as Snape lists all the correct answers – Draught of Living Death, the stomach of a goat, they’re the same plant – too busy reconsidering his perspective on the man. He’d been too quick to ease up even in the slightest, he decides. Snape had treated him awfully despite claiming to be his father for years; the man had turned on him so quickly that Harry is still jarred from the whole experience as the class gets set to work. None of that had even been in their potions textbook! Harry would know, he spent his evenings skimming through all his books before leaving for Hogwarts.

With that in mind, he still whole-heartedly refuses to forgive him.

#fic: hpatps

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dans-den · 2 years ago

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Velma Review

How's it going everyone? Happy MLK Jr day, unfortunately what I'm gonna be talking about today is anything but happy. Today I'll be giving my review for the...much anticipated disaster that is...Velma.

I honestly did not think I could find something even worse than the Fairly Odder show.....but once again, life finds a way.....to prove me wrong. While Fairly Odder is the worse variation of a beloved franchise in the form of a kids show, Velma is definitely the worse variation of a beloved franchise in the form of an adult show. There is so much wrong with this show that I don't even know where to start, guess I'll dive into this dumpster fire and hopefully come out the other side with my sanity intact.

I guess we should start with how Scooby Doo started. This property goes all the way back to 1969, All the characters have been established since 1969. Now I don't have a problem with modernizing the characters, I honestly don't. There have been several attempts to make them up to date and each decade has had one iteration or another of the Mystery Gang. Now some can argue those old direct to video Scooby Doo movies from the 80's with Red shirt Shaggy and Scrappy Doo is a notable exception where the gang wasn't present and that's true. Some argue that they're great some argue that they go against the source material it's kind of mixed. I personally thought they were entertaining despite that the gang wasn't whole and that it focused on wacky monster adventures rather than solving mysteries. While that is the case, they at least kept the main character Scooby Doo in the movies and they kept in spirit of the franchise. It is a Scooby Doo project that's trying to mix up the formula. Velma feels completely opposite, it feels like it was meant to be something else, but someone at WB decided to slap the Scooby Doo characters names on it because no one had faith in the show. This is the exact same reason the Halo TV Show failed. They made something generic and used a beloved property to make sure its watched to a certain degree. Velma pays no respect to the franchise its "supposedly" based off of. All the characters are different and given either architypes that don't fit them at all like Shaggy (or Norville as he's called in the show. guess they wanna use Shaggy's real name to make him less stoner...idk it doesn't work) or cliché architypes like Fred who of course was given the rich white boy who's dumb and slightly racist. Velma and Daphne are basically self inserts of Mindy Kaling and Constance Wu.

Now the characters/cast, no disrespect to any of them they're all just doing their jobs. However, it does not excuse how the direction given to them is nothing short of a...not so much a slap to the face of the Scooby Doo fandom, but more of a sledgehammer to the face. Mindy herself is an executive producer and I really feel she wanted to make this show something else but someone told her "Use the Scooby Doo franchise, that'll make your show great!". As I mentioned, the show is so far from the source material that it doesn't feel like Scooby Doo. In fact, Scooby Doo, the main character and mascot of the Mystery Gang, is not in the show. To be honest that is probably for the best so they don't ruin him. How can you have a Scooby Doo show without Scooby Doo? It's not a spinoff it's its own thing. I mentioned what types of characters they are, and each one is just...unlikable, especially Velma. Again, no disrespect to the cast for doing their jobs but none of the characters are likable in any way shape or form. Velma is cocky, know it all, rude, mean spirited, a basic bitch. Daphne is a cliché popular girl who is just inconstant yet has her moments of character development but it feels so forced that it's hard to enjoy it. Norville (aka Shaggy) is suppose to be the opposite version of Shaggy where he anti-drugs, bland personality, he's a literal simp for Velma (who treats him poorly), and is just boring to watch. Fred is the preppy rich white kid who looks down on everyone under him and his gag is that he has a small penis...no jokes its a gag that just doesn't go away. Daphne is by far the least bad but that's not saying much. I can't enjoy any of them, they're just hard to watch and mean spirited overall. As I said, I don't have an issue with reimagining's of characters, I'm not bothered by the fact that they're different ethnicities and backgrounds. It's a bit jarring because why not just make original characters with these designs? If you want representation then created new characters that can set that trail. But even if you change these established characters backgrounds, it wouldn't been an issue if you were able to maintain the key aspects of those characters. This show just straight up replaced their character aspects with something different. All the lovable traits of the gang are all gone, they've all been replaced with just generic high school tropes.

Damn, I'm barely getting to the actual episodes just now? That should be a telling sign. I tried to watch the first episode and I could not make it pass the ten minute mark. I have not raged out of a show that fast since Fairly Odder last year. The first episode tried to real Meta and poke fun at movies/tv shows tropes but it doesn't land. The humor feels so forced and nothing builds up to it. A show can at least be watchable if the humor makes it so bad its good, but the humor is such a miss 99% of the time and its so bad...its just bad. They make fun of tropes and try to be meta but none of it works, there's no real set up for the humor and the jokes feel more mean spirited like the 420 joke they told in this show, jabbing at adults who like animation. It doesn't feel like it was made for fun, it felt like it was meant to resent the audience and alienate the fandom. The locker room scene with the dead girl had the joke "She has no brain!" that joke felt like it was AI generated or something a 10 year old could have made. I also find it odd how they talk about the nudity tropes while there's high school girls nude in the shower. If this is meant to appeal to an adult audience...why have high school girls naked? This show is trying to be woke and PC yet you went with a cliché that I strongly feel is outdated and unnecessary as well as just alarming. I understand these are fictional characters, but it doesn't make it any less creepy and unnerving. They also make plenty of pop culture references that just feel....lame. None of it is funny or delivered in any fun or funny way.

Do I think a Scooby Doo show with more mature themes can work?

Yes! It can work and its been proven to work. Mystery Incorporated proved it can work with dark mature themes and fleshing out the characters for modern times. If Velma took a page out of Mystery Incorporated, it could have actually been an entertaining adult cartoon. The Velma show had the potential to be good, I'll admit the animation isn't half bad at times. For the most part it looks average, but the animation has it's moments especially when Velma has her ghoulish anxiety episodes, the animation is actually pretty cool I wish it was more like that style. Even if they didn't want to take inspiration from Mystery Incorporated, I still feel that they could have gone about this show in several ways.

First off, age the characters up. Make them like young adults in college or just in general that way the nudity and raunchiness has more justification to stay rather than sexualizing high schoolers (which has been done to hell and back and is just outdated).

Secondly, there should be more focus on Velma's mom. That may be the one element that could save the show. I don't know if they're saving it for later on or as a finale type deal but I feel that had they established Velma's mom as a main plotline in the show, it would make it more interesting, more of a Mystery/crime solving show.

Third, why couldn't these characters be their own characters rather than the actual mystery gang? I think these guys would have done better if they were a new batch of meddling kids that would be successors to the original mystery gang. In fact there is gonna be a Scooby Doo show about that for preschoolers called Scooby Doo and the Mystery Pups coming soon. It is exactly what I'm suggesting for the Velma show. This should have been new characters brought in to take on the mantle of the mystery gang rather than being cheap imitations of the actual gang.

Final suggestion, DONT MAKE A SCOOBY DOO SHOW IF THERE IS NO SCOOBY DOO!

Overall, This is yet another show that was trying to build off the name of a beloved franchise and failed completely. This I feel is yet another instant of handing beloved properties to people who do not like or respect the source material in the slightest and made whatever they felt like and alienated the fanbase. Velma is down there with Animaniacs (2020), Powerpuff Girls (2016), Teen Titans Go!, and Fairly Odder. There's talks of a Season 2 coming out and I encourage everyone to not watch it. Don't give it the time of day because if you do, WB will continue making shit like this and the only way for them to stop is to hit them where it hurts, profit. If you wanna give Velma a go then by all means but I'm not gonna keep watching it. If something happens that makes it suddenly good then I'll be pleasantly surprised, but I highly doubt that.

Rating Velma I am giving it:

0.5/10

I know this may seem premature to rate it this early on in its run but I do not believe it will get any better. If by some miracle it does, I will come back and reevaluate it with a firm apology. I'm open to be proven wrong but I stand by that this show is beyond saving and I do not recommend anyone watch it whether its Ironic or Unironic. Never thought there could be a show that would beat out Fairly odder.

First review of 2023, off to a good start....Hopefully the next pieces of media I cover won't be as horrendous.

See Ya!

#dans den #velma #velma dinkley #hbo max #tv show review #warner bros

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commenter2 · 5 months ago

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"Apology Tour" review

While a surprise reveal, I’m glad this episode is out as I could use a laugh after watching “Full Moon”.

Let’s see if Blitzo and Verosika will have their “Oops” moment here.

The ticking at the disclaimer isn’t as serious as in the previous episodes.

Stolas in a new outfit near a pool. How come we never saw Stella near that pool :3

Damn Stolas is pissed at Blitzo’s arrival. I’ve stated before how I wish Stolas expressed more emotions to Blitzo then lust or “I want to be with you on a romantic level” but this isn’t the right time.

So this episode takes place the day after the ending of Full Moon. Nice to know.

Man the writers are really hammering in the fact season 2 Stolas isn’t the sex crazed Goetia from season 1.

So all of Hell does know about Blitzo and Stolas. At least they ended that mystery though it is kind of disappointing that in the end no one really cared OR worse no one has connection their relationship to any crimes and such, but more on that in comments if you are curious.

I question how much Verosika hates Blitzo to the point of throwing a party about hating him, but then I remember the times she challenged him over a parking spot and embarrassed him at a popular club. And yet I can’t help but think she still has feelings for him as anyone else would have moved on by now.

The note says its Halloween on Earth! This made me wonder why this isn’t the Halloween episode, till I realized the “Ghostfuckers” will likely be more on brand due to how scary it looks.

At first I was wondering “how did Verosika got Stolas’ address” but since Stolas lives in a giant walled off mansion, it likely wasn’t hard to find.

Love that Stolas compared Blitzo to Striker, since I pointed that out near the end of my “Full Moon” review.

Oh crap Stolas made a good point, why didn’t Blitzo and co. tell Stolas what was going on?

What was to stop Striker from coming back or Stella hiring someone else? Imagine if someone did kill Stolas in between “Harvest Moon” and “Western Energy”, that would have put IMP out of business either cause someone framed them or they no longer had access to his book.

I might make a pic about this topic, but I’m surprised we didn’t get a moment in this scene or at the end of Full Moon where Stolas brings up Stella. I mean I totally saw that look in Stolas’ eye when he realizes Stella has wanted him dead sine “Harvest Moon” yet isn’t bringing it or even her up on all his misery.

Blitzo is so stubborn its annoying!

HOLY CRAP ITS MARTHA! WHAT THE FUCK, MS. MAYBERRY!!! I think that has to be the most random thing in this series so far and I love it. Does this mean Ms. Mayberry is a cannibal now? I’m also surprised Blitzo remembered Martha’s name.

What is that creature in that meme on Blitzo’s phone supposed to be, a horse?

Liking all the references to past episodes like DHORKS, the bouncer (now solo), the Fizzbot and Loo Loo mascot, dead agents of DHORKS, and that director from “Seeing Stars”.

Keenie has a cone on XD.

Is that old guy a reference to someone? Also why do I feel like he is connected to the Leviathan theory. I just feel like it’s going to be revealed that Leviathan has been keeping an eye on Blitzo and co for quite some time now when they’ve been on Earth and is likely going to teach them a lesson in the next episode.

“character doing something they weren’t going to do” cliché.

Stolas being the odd one out. Also why do I feel like some of the people aren’t Blitzo’s exes, just people crashing. I’m surprised Stolas isn’t gathering much attention which again makes me wonder how serious people take royals that aren’t the sins and the Morningstars.

“Demons can visit Earth on Halloween” cliché.

Does Verosika’s design look different to anyone else? She looks less busty then before. I wonder if because she is a succubus (likely full blood in my theory) she can alter her physique in ways, in this case she didn’t feel like being too top heavy.

Verosika is drunk.

When she kisses Stolas, he is blushing a bit which though very small reminds me of my comment in my “The Circus” review about how I think Stolas could have likely been pan and wouldn’t have said no to being with a lady as long as she was nicer then Stella.

Stolas’ line about not getting invited out much makes me wonder if Hell’s hierarchy is already isolating him so they don’t associate with his Imp loving lifestyle, since again his hook up with Blitzo is apparently well known now.

I’m surprised Stolas didn’t stop that sacrifice from happening. I wonder if a sacrificed soul in Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel strengthens the demon it is going to, or if it is just a waste of time and the people there just go directly to Hell after they die if they had a change of heart since then.

Why does that demon in the cat suit (is she an actual cat demon?) look so much like Millie?!?! There is even one guy that looks like Moxxie. Is this why Blitzo really likes seeing M and M doing it? XD

Again someone big, or the reason for this party to exist is at the party and there isn’t a bigger reaction.

In that scene before it cuts to the demons playing darts, there is an Imp with red horns that looks A LOT like Blitzo when he made that smug face in the pilot. Also that pink demon next to her is pretty hot, hope she appears more :3

Heh they’re burning a real life Blitzo plushie.

Tex singing, didn’t see that coming. This is going to be awkward if he and Loona get together, which I personally hope they don’t as along with how underrated Tex and Bee is and deserves more fan art, I personally think Loona needs more friends than a love interest. It’d also be the perfect revenge for Vivzie for all the odd art people have made about Loona XD.

Of course Coco and Apple are dressed as Ivy and Harley. Also I think that female Imp is dressed up as Borderland’s Mad Moxxi.

Yeah not really liking the singing voice for Stolas here as you can really hear the difference.

Looks like Blitzo is having a breakthrough!

Oh uh Stolas is drinking heavily again. If what Blitzo said is true, then he wasn’t a heavy drinker when they were meeting up.

That goat demon has a snake like tail. Is it actually part of her costume or is she 2/3 of a Chimera, again supporting my idea of “Heaven and Hell inspiring other mythologies and religions in the HH/HB world”.

Again Stolas doesn’t bring up Stella in this conversation. Does Blitzo even know what she is like and what she put Stolas through? If not then maybe Stolas should as maybe then Blitzo would realize why Stolas was the way he is.

Nice to see Blitzo let Stolas dance with that incubus. Makes me lean more to the “Blitzo and Stolas should get together” side of things I mentioned in the last review.

Finally some Blitzo and Verosika interaction. Just like last time the story waits at the last minute to go over what we’ve been waiting for so long.

Just because you live in Hell, doesn’t mean you have to live up the stereotypes if it Blitzo. Several characters have shown that so why can’t you.

Interesting learning that Blitzo and Verosika broke up cause she said “I love you” to Blitzo, which given his past explains why he broke up with her. Still it was shitty of him to do it like that. You also think Blitzo seeing the tattoo she got would be a sign that she felt that strongly of him and prepare him for hearing her say those words.

It is nice to see that Verosika while still holding onto the pain in a immature way, is helping others who went through what she did. Also Stolas was right about how if someone throws a party about hating you, it means that had real feelings for you.

Nice to see Blitzo and Verosika get closure. I bet some thought they would end up like Blitzo and Fizz did in “Oops”, but this ending is the best outcome without being too cheesy.

The ending feels like a sadder ending of Truth Seekers with a bit of Ozzie’s, as while it hurts, I feel like Blitzo will actually try to change in the future, likely starting in the “Ghostfuckers” episode, as I’m starting to get some Silent Hill vibes from what will happen in it and this will be the final lesson before Blitzo changes for good.

There’s Wally XD.

An odd note to end on but I hope that Incubus guy won’t turn out to be another assassin. In the S2 trailer there is a line from Vassago asking where Stolas is, so I wonder if Andre and Stella (mostly Andrea) will get Stolas kidnap and keep him hidden during the trial episode as they need someone to win and he is a key witness.

Another meh, heavy Stolitz episode. It is nice seeing Blitzo and Stolas air out all their issues, but it’s just really annoying seeing Blitzo still be so defensive and being a jerk even after all he has been through recently AND Stolas giving him every chance to make things right.

I like that the episode wasn’t played out exactly like “Oops” as it felt right to have Blitzo and Verosika be on more mutual terms then completely make up. However it does remind me of a plot point that could have been if the writing was different for the season, but I’m saving that for my Helluva Boss rewrite.

As for any sad Stolitz fans out there, cheer up as there is still more episodes later in the season so there is still hope for Blitzo and Stolas getting together in the end, let’s just hope you like it as I feel like when they do there is going to be a big consequence for the two at the end of the season.

I think my favorite thing about the episode was the cameos of Martha and Ms. Mayberry as that was so random that it was hilarious.

Well the next episode won’t be out till Halloween, so that gives everyone time to take a break from the show, theorize and predict about stuff, and make some art. I do plan on getting back to working on my Helluva Boss rewrite soon, so stay tune for that as well as other Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel art I have in the works, 1 of which I just thought of while making these reviews today

I also hope we get some more of those Helluva Shorts over the next few months AND a few Hazbin Hotel shorts because why not. Some Helluva shorts I think they should do is one where we see some of the sins hanging out together. I feel like Ozzie would be friend with Belphor, the sin of sloth as maybe they bonded while working on Fizz’s prosthetic limbs and maybe they have a business contract where Fizz helps make medical equipment for her. Imagine him and Fizz giving prosthetics to other demons suffering from what Fizz went through. I also could see something similar with Mammon and Leviathan since Greed and Envy both involve a want for something. Maybe we can see what the Envy ring is like, as that is the only ring we haven’t seen yet. Throw in a reference to the von Eldritch family and it would be an entertaining episode.

There could one about Octavia like one about her want to go to a demon college and be a regular girl for a change, despite what her mom keeps telling her.

What were your thoughts on the episode. Is there anything I missed/didn’t write down that you want me to go over?

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savefilescomng12 · 6 months ago

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Video of Furry in Background of Wedding Goes Viral

"This might be an original experience."

As a parent, I can confidently say I would much rather my children grow up to become illegal narcotics dealers than furries.But that's just my opinion, and there are certainly people who find merit in pretending like they're an animal by wearing gigantic mascot suits akin to what you would see at a sports half-time show, just with a heck of a lot less trampoline dunking, and way more second-hand embarrassment grimaces.Article continues below advertisementBut there are a lot of people who said that they were impressed with the way this furry conducted themselves after they became the focal point of a wedding during the vow exchange between bride and groom.In a viral TikTok uploaded by a user on the app who goes by Shadows (@xxshadowslightxx), she documented the eventual discovery that just a stone's throw away from the matrimonial site was a person who was dressed up as an animal and just attempting to live their life as a "therian."Article continues below advertisement"When your bestie is walking down the aisle and you realize...." a text overlay in the video reads as the bride is being walked down the aisle by a man in a suit (presumably her father).Article continues below advertisementNow if you've been to one wedding, you've probably been to them all. So it's only normal while the proceedings are going on that you're going to tend to look around and see what's happening in your immediate surroundings. Which is something that Shadows did and she noticed across a body of water at the site of the ceremony, there was a cow resting on the grass.However, upon closer inspection, they noticed that the cow wasn't exactly a real cow: "That cow on the other side of the lake is in fact not a COW," they wrote in a text overlay of the video.Article continues below advertisementSource: TikTok | @xxshadowlightxxSo what was it? It was actually a person inside of a costume pretending to be a cow, which Shadows explained in another caption plastered on her video: "but a FURRY just hanging out in the field that just happens to be right behind the altar where they're taking photos..."Article continues below advertisementAccording to the TikToker, the furry wasn't even totally committed to their Fursona either, as it looks like they took the opportunity to snap some photos of the wedding instead of pretending to be a cow to free themselves from the trappings of grazing, presumably.In a follow up video posted to the popular social media platform, Shadows delivered a story time further explaining the run-in they had with the furry during the wedding ceremony. The bride in the video was present in the clip as well, while the TikToker explains what went down.Article continues below advertisementSource: TikTok | @xxshadowlightxxShe went on to explain that it was a "backyard wedding" and that there was a pond on the other side of where the reception was supposed to take place. At first, they didn't notice that the furry was a person "until they stood up."Article continues below advertisementIt's at this point in the video the bride chimes in and says that "a lot of people thought it was a cow" due to the fact that they live in Oklahoma and this type of sighting would be normal.In fact, no one thought anything was amiss until the furry in question stood up and people realized that the animal they were seeing was actually a person in a fursuit.Shadows said that because she had a "really good zoom on camera" she was able to see what was going on with the furry in question.Article continues below advertisementSource: TikTok | @xxshadowlightxxShadows said that after zooming in on the person, however, they noticed that the person wasn't cosplaying as a cow, but rather a "kitty cat."And if you were worried about photographer having to edit the furry out of their photos, Shadows and the bride in the video said that this wasn't necessary.Article continues below advertisement"That person didn't 'ruin' the wedding or 'ruin' the view," the bride says into the video, explaining that their presence really wasn't that much of a downer. Plus, she said that the guests present at the wedding ended up getting a "good laugh out of it," and if you're going for emotions you want people to have when they're at your wedding celebration, jovial laughter is pretty high up on the list.Shadows said that she didn't convey to the bride what was going on with the furry situation to the bride until well after the wedding.The bride went on to say that she wanted to clarify that the person inside of the fursuit wasn't a "weird ex from either side" who was pretending to be an animal so they could snoop on the exchange of the matrimonial vows.Article continues below advertisementSource: TikTok | @xxshadowlightxxThe bride added that the furry was pretty much just doing what they were doing and that it all happened to go down on the day of her wedding. From her recounting of the wedding day, it seemed that the furry watching the exchanging of the vows had nothing but the utmost respect for the sanctity of marriage.Article continues below advertisementThat's because the bride said that the person was "bowing" while her and the groom were exchanging vows with one another; at least that's what her wedding guests were telling her.Before the video ended, Shadows called the entire interaction with the furry, "hard to ignore."Several TikTokers mentioned that the furry was probably a "therian" who didn't know that they were photobombing someone's special day. But there were also those who thought the person was doing it on purpose.Article continues below advertisementSource: TikTok | @xxshadowlightxxWhat do you think? Was the furry trying to garner some attention for themselves and ruin someone's special day? Or was this just a coincidence and whoever was there just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time? 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dangan-kagura · 8 months ago

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Why I Don't Like the Gold Third

This isn’t a rant or anything, but it’s one of those opinion blogs about why I don’t like this one thing. This time, I’m gonna talk about the Gold Third from the Neptunia series and why I don’t like them.

I just found out that the Gold Third will be returning for Neptunia Game Maker R:Evolution and suddenly I’ve lost all interest in wanting to try the game out. Literally, these characters are the one reason I probably won’t play it. Part of the reason is because I simply don’t like their games, specifically C-Sha and S-Sha, but also because some of them, specifically B-Sha, are just too confusing because I don’t quite understand what game publishers they represent, but it’s just B-Sha, the other three I already know.

Who is B-Sha really?

Is B-Sha supposed to represent Bandai Namco? Let me clarify that Bandai is the toy company owned by Toei, the anime studio best known for anime series’ like DragonBall, Sailor Moon, Gundam, Digimon, Naruto and One Piece, as well as the studio that does the live-action series Super Sentai (or it’s Americanized version the Power Rangers). Bandai pretty much also does video games based on Toei anime. By the mid 2000s, Bandai ended up joining with Namco, the publishers best known for games like Pac-Man, Tekken, the Tales Of series, Ridge Racer, Time Crisis, Soul Calibur, Katamari, Dark Souls and Idolm@ster.

I’ll get to the point, I think it makes better sense if B-Sha was instead named “N-Sha”. That way, she can represent Namco instead of Bandai. Now that I have a better look at her, that thumbs-up pose does make her look like Pac-Man, the official mascot for Namco. But I’ve read that her interests include toys, robots and superheroes, are these all references to Gundam and Super Sentai? I just feel like Namco would be a much superior gaming publisher then Bandai. If B-Sha was named N-Sha, it would be much cooler to see her make MORE references to some of Namco’s best games like Pac-Man and Tekken. That’s just my opinion.

I never did think C-Sha and S-Sha were cool.

In C-Sha’s case, at the time Megadimension Neptunia came out, I was fed up from having to see Capcom take all the glory since the early to mid 2010s. I was annoyed by things like…

The live-action Resident Evil film series.

Resident Evil 6 and the series’ bad spinoffs.

Street Fighter getting more praise than my favorite fighting games.

Mega Man being a fan favorite in Super Smash Bros.

Akuma’s appearance in Tekken 7.

Ace Attorney getting special editions for the 3DS and the original games being ported to the PS4. Like, how many more ports are they gonna keep making?

The popularity of Monster Hunter. Seriously, I never understood the hype about that series.

It was enough to make me want to not play Capcom games and instead boycott them. Doing this meant that I had to quit playing Devil May Cry which was the ONLY Capcom game I’ve ever appreciated. It was just annoying to see people think of Capcom as number 1 but I had the opposite opinion and thought Capcom was just sold out. Even to this day, I’m still not over it.

As for S-Sha, well, I’d rather not get into too much detail as to why I’m not into Square Enix games, but the constant popularity of games like Final Fantasy was just too annoying for me to handle, simply because I was bad at Final Fantasy and thought that it’s popularity as the number 1 game series was more like peer pressure. And having to hear S-Sha say “I’m not interested” that one line Cloud had in that CG movie Advent Children is not really funny. Like, why did they have to make it sound cliche?

K-Sha is probably the only one I thought was good enough for my tastes.

I got nothing against Konami and I don’t mind the Metal Gear references K-Sha makes. But after learning about the shady stuff the company’s been doing for the last decade, it made me think that maybe K-Sha should’ve made those kinds of references. Here's what I think.

Since the early to mid 2010s, Konami has had a lack of interest in wanting to keep making big AAA (triple A) games and instead showed interest in wanting to make cheap mobile games, the kind of games that involve either microtransactions or gacha mechanics. However, games designers like Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima didn’t like this shift, so what did Konami do about it? Fire Kojima as soon as he was done with Metal Gear Solid 5. I had an idea for a joke that K-Sha should’ve appeared in Sisters VS Sisters and befriend Maho, whose favorite games are mobile gacha games, and that K-Sha had a close friend important to her, but fired her because her friend wasn’t into mobile gacha games.

Likewise, I feel like I would’ve liked K-Sha more if she made more then just Metal Gear references and made MORE references to some of Konami’s other great games like Frogger, Castlevania, Contra, Silent Hill, Dance Dance Revolution, Zone of the Enders, they could even have her make Yu-Gi-Oh references if they wanted. Or better yet, they should have K-Sha marry Peashy or Yellow Heart, that way, their new marriage can be a reference to Konami’s acquisition of Hudson games like Bomberman.

Who is F-Sha?

So I just ended up learning that Neptunia Game Maker R:Evolution has a new character to the series, calling themselves F-Sha. I literally have no idea who this character represents. She dresses like a knight in silver, but the name or design doesn’t give me any idea as to what sort of game publisher she’s named after. Like, what company in the gaming world do I know that starts with the letter “F”? Odds are, it’s probably a Japanese publisher that does Japanese RPGs I’m not familiar with, you know, because I’m a Westerner and I don’t normally play RPGs. I could just look it up on the fan wiki, but I don’t think I’m gonna like this character based on the other members of the Gold Third.

If Neptunia really wanted to impress me with the Gold Third, they could’ve included members that are based on other kinds of game publishers. Like, I would love it if there was a member called “U-Sha” who would represent Ubisoft. But of course, Ubisoft is based in Canada, not Japan, so they can’t do that. Heck, I had an idea for a joke that K-Sha is married to someone called “T-Sha” and the two of them represent Koei Tecmo and this is to reference Koei’s joining with Tecmo. And as I mentioned, it makes better sense if B-Sha was named N-Sha and should instead reference Namco instead of Bandai, otherwise, you can make a joke saying that B-Sha actually represents Bethesda (I hope that’s how I spelled it).

In Conclusion

Overall, if I had to name the worst Neptunia characters, it would be the Gold Third. I realize that the reasons I don’t like them is simply because…

In C-Sha and S-Sha’s case, I don’t like their games.

I think B-Sha should’ve been named N-Sha and have her represent Namco instead of Bandai.

They should’ve had more members, like a member called U-Sha named after Ubisoft.

I don’t want to say I’m not excited about this new Neptunia game, but depending on what gaming references this one makes, I probably won’t be that interested if this one makes references to games I’m not entirely big on. And it's worse because the Gold Third is making a return. But sooner or later, I’m probably gonna have to suck it up and deal with it.

#non-danganronpa stuff #neptunia #neptunia game maker r:evolution #gold third #b-sha #k-sha #c-sha #s-sha #f-sha #opinion #blog #why i don't like

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