#like poisoning yourself to build up immunity

[slightly-knot-insane]

Night Hunt

Monstertober 2024 - day 26 [ Full Moon ] by @/ozzgin

[ m!fox demon x fem!reader ]

content: p in v, a little bit of oral (male receiving) tw: dubcon (male receiving)

You've been hunting him for years. This elusive silver-haired demon is too cunning, too old for your mortal mind. But every full moon, right after the first snow falls, you grab your gun and darts and head out into the woods.

Every year you get closer to him. Every year you learn another weakness of his. Last time, the snow was soiled with his demonic blood before he escaped. You almost had him. But this year... this year he's yours.

Your trap is set, and you are waiting for him. Right on time, he appears on the same path he always walks on, intrigued by the toy you prepared for him. So smart, yet so gullible.

You fire your dart and it hits him right in his thigh. With a yelp, he falls down, the poison quickly taking his legs and ability to walk. Quickly quickly, you rush yourself as you run down to him. You must reach him before he transforms back. You are behind him, focused on that one spot between his shoulder blades, and you hit it with another poisoned dart. With a roar, the demon turns toward you, but his arms fall limp and he falls onto his back.

"You!" He recognizes you, of course he does. Last year he almost killed you. "You foul creature! You stupid human!"

He's finally yours. You are on your feet looking at his form. Half-human, half-fox, white as snow, snarling at you, strong like the earth - but completely at your mercy. You bite your lip and step on his groin. The demon grunts in shock. You rub your heel against his soft penis, enjoying the power you have. "You are mine now, fox."

He can't move, his both arms and one leg completely numb. You have to stay away from his dangerous teeth though. For now. You continue rubbing his shaft, forcing it to become hard under your toes.

He growls, "Is that what you want human? You want my power?"

"Maybe," you smile and get on your knees. There is only a little bit of clothing on him since he's immune to cold, but it will take you some time to warm up. You sit on his unaffected thigh and lean toward his exposed cock. It is white with blue tip, glistening like ice. His muscular thigh is firmly trapped between your thighs. In-between teasing him with your tongue, you ride his leg, rolling your hips. He is surprisingly quiet, only breathing heavily, almost enjoying your touches and kisses. Unable to wait any longer, you remove all your furs, clothes and socks and, completely naked, press your tight and soaked little hole against his massive cock.

"You think you can take me, little human?" His smirk exposes his sharp teeth and, for a brief second, the icy cold shine of his blue eyes scares you. But just for a moment. You push the tip past your entrance, enduring the pain, and the fox demon hisses through his teeth. You know pleasure awaits you in a few minutes so you lift your hips up and let them slide down his shaft slowly, getting used to his size and girth. His skin is cold, and so is yours, but you're warming up, riding his cock, and soon your panting builds a mist around your head. "Mmmm...", you moan and lick your lips, tasting your victory. "I hunted you down, fox. And I will take you as a trophy."

Fox demon chuckles, his grunts sounding less annoyed and more pleased than before. "Your trophy, human? We'll see about that."

He lifts his arm and grabs your thigh. You yelp. "What? How?"

The fox demon pushes you into the snow and stretches his shoulders and neck. "Your poison is potent, little woman. But not potent enough." In one swift move, he spins you around and pushes your face into the cold and powdery snow. His large body traps you and you feel the tip of his penis against your cunt. He slowly pushes it in and you whimper. "I have to admit you were fun little human - and that's why I'll reward you."

He takes you hips, positions himself, and fucks your cunt. You scream from pleasure and pain, but the demon knows how humans work and he quickly brings you close to an orgasm... but doesn't let you reach your peak. He fucks you long and hard until your knees are scraped and your nipples completely frozen and overstimulated by the cold and his merciless fingers. Just as you're about to cum, he grabs your both arms and pulls you toward himself. You arch your back and climax hard, shaking and whimpering. But he doesn't let you rest - he keeps fucking you until you orgasm again and squirt all over him. "How delightful," he gloats, still ponding your pulsating pussy. "I love how you feel around my cock. Give me a few more of those, little human, but be louder." He pushes you over the edge many times until it is painful to even think let alone speak or beg, and then he leans forward, speeding up, growling furiously next to your ear before he pulls out and splashes his hot cum all over your back.

You fall down, diving into the snow, trembling like a feeble fawn. "No..."

Once he's done, he rolls you onto your back. He stands high above you, so beautiful and powerful. "I know you wanted my magical seed, you greedy human. And you almost got it. Maybe next time you will finally get your trophy." He kneels on one knee and kisses you before transforming into a fox and leaving you cradled by the melting snow.

[imperator-titus]

Favorite Party Banter [Minthara Edition]

[Astarion (Ascended)] [Halsin/Jaheira] [Gale] [Karlach] [Lae'zel] [Minsc] [Minthara] [Shadowheart] [Wyll]

I often miss party banter because of party comp (and sometimes just straight up can't hear??) so here's a collection of my favorite bants while going through dialogue files. I know the wiki has the banter (most? all?) but I added the file names and dev notes.

Either Minthara is the main speaker/subject or I think Minthara's reaction is good shit.

Not in any particular order.

[PB_Minthara_Shadowheart_ROM_Act3_002]

Minthara: I cannot tell if you are more a deviant or a debutante, Shadowheart.

Minthara: I would like to test both aspects of your character when next you find yourself alone at night.

Shadowheart: I’m not quite sure I like where this is going.

[PB_Karlach_Minthara_ROM_Act3_001]

Karlach: It’s funny seeing you so smitten, Minthara. Didn’t think you were able. {Devnote: With concern}

Minthara: I took my first lover before you were a spark in your father’s eye, child.

Karlach: Go on.

Minthara: She was a high priestess of House Vandree. Beautiful, elegant, ruthless. {Devnote: friendly rather than flirtatious}

Minthara: I adored her, and had been sharing her bed for some time when the order came that she must die.

Minthara: I stayed with her while the poison did its work, and whispered words of comfort as she slipped away.

Karlach: Oh no. {Devnote: quiet, shocked, just heard a very sad story}

[PB_Gale_Minthara_ROM_Act3]

Gale: I found an empty bottle of venom in camp, Minthara. Safe to assume it was yours?

Minthara: Indeed. I have been dosing my partner while they sleep by my side.

Minthara: They refuse to take it in their food, but I must build up their immunity in case we ever visit Menzoberranzan together.

Gale: Let’s never speak of this again.

[PB_Astarion_Minthara_ROM_Act2]

Astarion: So how does Lolth feel about romance? Are you expected to bite your mate's head off afterwards?

Minthara: Be grateful I no longer follow the Spider Queen's teachings. If I did, you would be the first to fall into my web. {Devnote: Teasing Astarion with a grotesquely exaggerated version of how she would seduce him}

Astarion: I can't tell if you're joking. She is joking, right? {Devnote: first phrase to Minthara, then appealing to the party at large for support}

[PB_Laezel_Minthara_Act2_ROM_001]

Lae'zel: Our leader is a fool for love, Minthara. I'd never be compelled to conduct such a poorly-planned jailbreak.

Minthara: They did not do it for love. They did it for my prowess in combat, as well as coitus. I excel in both.

Lae'zel: As do I. Sometimes the acts are not dissimilar.

[PB_Gale_Minthara_ROM_Act2]

Gale: I'm glad to know you have a softer side, Minthara. I was beginning to think you rather heartless.

Minthara: Loving another is not soft, wizard. It is one of the hardest things a person can do.

Gale: So you admit you've found love! How delightful - I'm happy for you both.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

These are both lovely, but I have plans for this piece >:3

-It had been so- so amazing when you walked out of your bedroom, to look up to see a giant, even bigger than your giant friends, elephant, that was walking through the ocean.

-This was Zou, a walking island, as there was a whole city on the back of the elephant, at least that’s what Law told you all.

-Once actually on the elephant, Sanji carried you alongside Nami to the top. There were so many ruins, buildings that looked like they had been abandoned for years now, along with towering trees unlike anything you had ever seen before.

-Once everyone was on the back of the elephant, you started to explore, as you could see smoke, you all could, from what looked to be smoldering remains of something in the distance, like it had been attacked.

-When a sudden downpour flooded a huge portion of the island, which you would later learn was the elephant, giving himself a bath, you had nearly been separated from everyone, after Brook, Chopper, Caesar, and Momo had been swept away, unable to swim.

-Sanji came back and collected you, after he left you on a high tree, while Nami was yelling at the Devil Fruit users who were useless and a pain in the butt.

-You saw a squirrel lady, that Sanji helped save from an unknown group, chasing them off, before she ran, like she was looking for something, or someone.

-When you entered a massive town, you were looking around, seeing all the damage, “What happened here?”

-That’s when a dog lady charged, attacking Nami, telling your group to leave. Your eyes went huge, seeing Nami getting attacked, but you realized that this dog lady, Wanda, had been poisoned by Jack, who was the leader of the group that Tristan was saved from earlier.

-After hearing that Jack and his crew had left, for the moment, Wanda relaxed, sobbing loudly because so many had been hurt by Jack.

-Caesar recognized the symptoms of the poison as something that he had made, which made tears well in your eyes, “Why would you want to hurt others?” which quickly sent him to the ground, feeling like scum, but he helped Chopper with creating a cure as everyone else started rescuing the Minks.

-You had seen a massive doggy and kitty, crucified, both of them with limbs missing, as if they had been tortured and as they were being helped down, so they could be treated, you ran over, ignoring Sanji’s shout, “Y/N don’t! You’re still recovering!”

-He was surprised when you didn’t listen, your horn glowing as your quirk activated as you made it to the two, surprising the Minks as your aura covered the two, healing their missing limbs and helping with their wounds as you were crying quietly.

-Jaws dropped, seeing what you had done as you started crying, which flustered Dogstorm and Cat Viper, who had no idea what just happened as they gave each other a small nod, willing to work together to help calm you down.

-The Minks were in awe of your ability, but after Chopper ran over, checking you out now as well, they learned that your ability could be dangerous for you if you overused it.

-You gave yourself only a minor fever, but you still wanted to help, and you gasped when you saw Nami running over to a group of people, one of them which you remembered, “The polar bear!”

-The other members of the Heart Pirates were surprised to see the Straw Hats, but they were grateful, seeing you all helping the Minks, as the humans were immune to at least this poison.

-As everyone was being healed and treated, everyone moved into the forest, to hide, just in case Jack came back, which many of the Minks were afraid of.

-The Minks adored you, thinking you were adorable, constantly covering you in cuddles in something called Garchu, which you loved because you were in fluffy heaven!

-Sanji and Chopper did their best to help those who were still weak, by treating them and feeding them, which you told them you wanted to help, so Sanji gave you trays which you carefully carried over to the smiling Minks, who thought you were adorable.

-You got to play with the children, helping them gain some source of normality, as they taught you how to kick a ball around, and the Mink Village was soon full of laughter again.

-It wasn’t until someone new came to the island that everything changed.

-His name was Capone Bege, and he was an envoy from Big Mom. You had been hiding behind Brook’s leg, who had knelt beside you, as none of you knew if he was going to be a threat or not.

-When he pulled everyone into his body, that was like a walking fortress, he explained he was here for Sanji, who was to be married to one of Big Mom’s children, and you, as you were going to be the guest of honor at the wedding!

-Bege had started walking, going to snatch you all away and take you all to Big Mom, including the ones she didn’t specifically request, for her to do with whatever she wished.

-Sanji was able to negotiate the release of the others, which Bege agreed to, releasing everyone but him and you, as you were the one that Big Mom wanted more.

-Sanji tried to attack, to get you free, but he was attacked, to stop him. You leapt in front of him, protecting Sanji as you cried, “Stop hurting my big brother!” You saw Bege’s face morph into what looked to be pain, seeing you crying, like he didn’t want to do this, but he had a job to do.

-Bege agreed to get Sanji patched up, and that you would both be safe, if the two of you didn’t try to escape anymore.

-Sanji knew he couldn’t risk your safety at the moment, he wanted to get you free, but he was trapped, even more so when Bege took off on his ship, heading to Whole Cake Island.

-He prayed that Luffy and the others would come soon, not so much for him as he would sacrifice himself to get you to safety, but to rescue you.

-He knew that his family was waiting for him there, how else would Bege have known who his family was if they weren’t there. He wasn’t going to let them get close to you, even if he had to ask Big Mom to make it so.

[shadedheart138]

Too Much Thinking Is Bad For My Health (Part One)

Warriors was currently staring at his bowl of lovingly made chili with wide eyes. Today had not been a good brain day, not at all. Another of those days where no matter how much he loved the person making the food, or how many times he was told it wasn't going to kill him, he just couldn't bring himself to eat it.

The war had been hard. Too many assassination attempts from poison. It had made him terribly paranoid, and for good reason. Finding hemlock in your dinner wasn't a nice surprise. Funny how that was one of the only things comforting him now, was poison. Both his savior and his condemner.

Warriors had gone searching, bones showing and body shaking, for a way to make his brain quiet about the poisonings. Once the war was over, he hadn't much a need for being so paranoid. But it didn't go away, no matter how much therapy he tried or how many medications he took to make everything stop. So he'd turned to older methods. Seemingly simpler methods.

Mithridatism. The act of self-poisoning yourself in small increments to build immunity. If you're immune, you can't die, simple math. No one told him that it could become his only solace, the only thing he'd turn to. Almost an addiction. How ironic.

Warriors' hands shook, as he cradled his chili bowl. He was getting weird glances at this point, and worried ones from Time and Wind. They knew. They were aware of how messed up his brain was. They weren't aware, however, of the self-poisoning. Warriors looked back down at his bowl and attempted to pick up the spoon. No, nope, no.

He put the spoon back down and reluctantly put the bowl down altogether, pale. He tried to plaster on a smile. "I just don't think I'm very hungry right now, Wild. I'll eat something later." He said to the cook, trying to ignore how his voice shook. He got up and dusted off his pants, heading to his bedroll instead of sitting down by the fire like he usually did. Before he settled down, he pulled out his pack and ran his fingers over the very small vial in the front pocket. Hemlock, the very same thing that had nearly killed him so many times. It brought him both relief and anxiety.

"I'll take second watch, after Sky." He called quietly, and laid down, eyes still open and wide awake. He ignored the whispers, ignored the "I'll just save him something, for when he takes watch.", ignored the "Time, can you make sure he at least eats something, once you swap shifts?".

Everything faded as he attempted, in vain, to doze.

XXX

A handful of hours later, Warriors was gently shaken by a sleepy Sky. " 'S your turn, Captain. There's a good handful of fruits and a sandwich wrapped on a log for you, that Wild made. He figured you'd be hungry later." Warriors got up, pulling his sword to his back.

"Thank you, Sky. Get some sleep."

"You bet I will."

Warriors sat on the log, looking at the fruit. Two apples, an orange. A pear, some durians. He ignored all of them, and unwrapped the sandwich. He had no intention of eating it, just curious as to what it was. Maybe he could toss it out into the woods for Wolfie, if he was around. Could lie and say he ate that instead.

Lying didn't sit right. It was turkey cheese. He wrapped it up again and set it aside, staring out into the dark.

Eventually, even the dark wasn't as comforting as it had been. It was too quiet. Quiet, but Warriors could hear every snap of a twig, every leaf, every rustle, it was too quiet but it was too loud but it was- He scrambled for his pack, hands trembling. He pulled out the vial. Whether he wanted it to or not, it comforted him. He'd take it around this time every night anyway. Consistency. The vial was mostly empty, nearly ready to be replaced with another month's worth. Warriors uncorked it, shuddering as he breathed in the smell of something so deadly, something so ready to kill him yet it was the only thing keeping him alive. He looked around, making sure no one was awake; double, triple checking- then lifted the vial of poison to his lips.

"Hey, you okay?" The voice startled him, and there went the next three days down his throat. Warriors jumped, put down the vial, and looked to his side. Time was standing nearby, dressed in only an undertunic and pale pants. He didn't seem to notice the vial, so Warriors tucked it into his neckline and pretended he hadn't just taken something that could definitely kill him.

"I'm f-fine." Warriors' voice broke. Fuck.

"Clearly not. What's on your mind?"

Warriors twiddled his thumbs and sort of hunched in on himself, trying to push the poison from his mind. If he focused on it he might just go insane.

"The war, as always. I promise, it's just bad memories." Not quite a lie, not quite the truth.

"Anything I can help with?" No.

"No, it's just..."

How do you explain to your little (not so little now) brother that you poisoned yourself every night? You didn't. It was something he refused to do. He wouldn't subject Time to it.

"It's just hard, remembering. I'll be okay." Warriors tried to smile warmly, it came out as more of a grimace. Time sat down next to Warriors and took a hand, watching him with that one eye full of such wisdom, such love. "You will be okay. How about we take this watch together, hm?" He let Warriors lean on his shoulder a little.

"Alright." Just to humor him. Just to show he was fine and he'd be fine.

"I love you, brother. Get some rest if you can, okay?"

"Love you too, Sprite."

XXX

The morning was hell. What the fuck. Where was the sky? Why were people talking so loud? What time was it? His throat, he couldn't breathe, it was so hard, where was the oxygen? Where...

Warriors groaned quietly, and several people jumped.

"Warriors? Are you okay, can you hear me?" Hyrule asked quietly. Warriors barely opened his eyes, then shut them again.

"Hylia, his breathing is barely there. Shit shit shit, Legend, grab a potion, a fairy, something." Hyrule said frantically. Legend was rifling through Wars' pack and pulled free a fairy.

Wind was crying. Who would do this to his brother, who was normally so kind, so sweet, who loved them all and laughed like the father Wind didn't quite remember? Who patched his wounds no matter how small, who sewed his favorite shirt together and held him tight when he couldn't stand the memories? Soothed him to sleep and kissed his hair and spun him around in the sun with a smile? Someone who was so strong and who was there for everyone, no matter how much he was falling apart?

Wind was crying.

Time was frantic. For the first time in a while, he was frantic. None of the Links could have poisoned him, everyone was so clearly upset and everyone loved each other so dearly. No one would poison Warriors, no matter how paranoid he was of it. Who would? Who would do this to the man that took care of Time when he was just tiny little Mask, who joined him in pranks and helped raise him? Who taught him how to read and write and do math and love those around him, when he'd originally hated the world? Who taught him to see the sheer beauty in living?

Time was frantic.

Wild was terrified.

Had it been his food? Was Warriors allergic to anything he'd made? Certainly he'd have said something? Was it him, who'd done this?

Four was at war with themself, a blue voice trying to place blame and a violet voice trying to list out everything and anything about the situation and a red voice sobbing and a green voice trying to quiet them-

Sky was also crying.

Legend was crying, though he'd hide it.

Hyrule was crying.

Twilight was pacing, and- you guessed it- crying.

Warriors was dead.

Then he wasn't; the fairy had brought him back. His breath was barely there, but he was there, he was alive. Hyrule shuddered softly, hands glowing with magic. Legend was still looking around in Warriors' pack, whispering expletives and wiping tears. His hand hit the hidden pocket.

Warriors turned just enough that the vial he'd forgotten about glinted from his bedroll. Hyrule frowned and picked it up.

Legend unzipped the pocket.

Hyrule lifted the vial to try and figure out what the residue was.

Legend took one of the vials out.

Hemlock.

They locked eyes, then looked at their pale brother.

"What the FUCK." Legend snapped, taking out vial after vial of deadly poison; foxglove, hemlock, nightshade, all manners of things. "What the fuck."

"Did he poison himself?" Hyrule asked, voice shaking. Someone called out the word poison, a question, then the worried voices and cries rose.

"Looks like it. Hell, he wouldn't have gone out so slow if he'd taken a full one. Why did he take one in the first place?" Legend cradled all of the poisons in a hand and stashed them away in a small pouch. More sobbing, a thud of knees hitting the ground, gentle shushing.

Time's eyes snapped to Warriors, who was stirring. He went over to him, searching for any sign that he was still being dragged under the poison's influence. He'd be sick and sore for a while after this. Wind hiccupped and heaved for air, wailing. Reminding people he was only fourteen, was still a child, had just seen his brother die. Sky held him tighter, from their spot on the ground.

"Captain? Are you with us?" Time asked gently. Warriors opened fever-bright eyes. His hair was messy, his chest heaved weakly. His body shook and he wheezed.

"Sprite? Th' fuck happened?" He asked, voice rough.

"Poison, Warriors. You have lots of it. There was a vial in your bedroll. Did you... did you take it? You're really sick, now." The 'did you want to leave us' was unspoken, but it was there.

"Shit." Warriors whispered. He closed his eyes again, then opened them. "Yeah, I took it."

"WHY???" "WHAT THE HELL?" "SHIT." "THE FUCK, WARRIORS, ARE YOU INSANE?" "NO." "WARRIORS, WHY?" There were various shouts. Wind's crying increased, and Sky tried to calm him, making Four join them to try and help. Warriors flinched. Legend was the only one who didn't seem quite as phased. Wind fisted his hands in Sky's sailcloth and shook terribly. Sky petted his hair.

"Mithridatism." Warriors said hoarsely. He closed his eyes again. Talking was more of an effort than he'd bargained for. His head was pounding and fuzzy.

Legend filled in. "Mithridatism. It's an old war tactic, I think, that kings and nobles and such would use. Self poisoning in non-lethal amounts to try and build an immunity. Could be seen as a coping mechanism, could be seen as an addiction. Can be both." Legend's voice was quiet and somber.

Warriors kept his eyes closed, nodding mutely.

"Warriors, how long...?" Time asked. Warriors just shook his head. He was so fucking tired. He wanted a nap. Everything ached. "Wait, wait, please. We've got to talk about this. How much did you take? Was it on purpose?"" Time whispered, anxious of the answer.

"Accident. Didn't mean to take that much. Maybe three day's worth." Warriors whispered, before letting his eyes stay closed and his mind fade.

"Watch him, please." Time said to Hyrule. Hyrule only nodded, crouching down to sit near him. He then went to Wind, to take him from Sky. Sky reluctantly let go, and Wind turned to curl up against Time. "Why?" Wind asked, coughing in between sobs.

Time didn't have an answer to give him.

XXXXX

Guys now I have to make a part two what the fuck it really got away from me holy shit

@rrainydaydreams, @rebornofstars IT'S OUT AND ABOUT AND HOLY SHIT I HAVE TO MAKE A PART TWO RAA

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #350: Minamoto no Tametomo

happy new years, let’s get this bread. and by bread I mean giant robot archer named Minamoto no Tametomo. he’s actually remarkable not breadlike I don’t know why I said that. He is, however, remarkably Arashlike, but better because he’s a japanese man in a japanese series. He also has some extra tricks that Arash doesn’t have, like not making me figure out how to make him kill himself, which I’m very grateful for. As such, he’s not quite a xerox of Arash- he’s a Battle Master Fighter to master battling with a bow, and a Gloom Stalker Ranger to specialize in killing people before they know he exists and while hiding out in some shadowy villain lair.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: the disaster lesbian oh fuck we forgot kyokutei bakin nvm they're next

Species and Background

the game’s bio stuff kinda makes it sound like he used to be human, but he’s definitely a robot now, so that’s a Warforged baby! give him +2 Wisdom and +1 Dexterity thanks to tasha’s cauldron of everything, as well as Constructed Resilience to get advantage against being poisoned and taking poison damage, plus immunity to disease! instead of sleeping you can take a Sentry’s Rest for just six hours. just kinda. standing there. menacingly. you also get Integrated Protection, giving you +1 to your AC no matter what armor you wear, plus you can’t be taken out of it against your will. the downside is getting out of your armor at all is an hour-long affair, but we’re not making builds for out-of-combat stuff. unless siduri gets voted in, I guess. you also get one bonus proficiency, and we usually use Arcana for techy stuff, so we’re doing that here too!

Tametomo is a Soldier of course, giving him proficiency in Athletics and Intimidation. it’s nice to have a background with a direct correlation to D&D again, that makes this so much easier.

Ability Scores

Your highest score should be Dexterity. we both know you’re some kind of strength archer, but D&D thinks all archers are willowy elves, and we’re literally stuck playing their game. next up is Constitution. you are a bitch and a half to defeat, though that’s usually more because of your sniper’s nest. still, you don’t give up easy. third highest is Strength. we don’t need it for much in this build, but you sure do wear some heavy armor, and that comes with a strength requirement. plus it would be nice to actually make the weirdly strong archer guy weirdly strong. This means your Wisdom is lower than I’d like- your perception’s great, but I guess robots aren’t good at guessing games. aside from the centaur, I mean. This means Intelligence is neutral, and we’re dumping Charisma. every time we’ve seen you in the story up to this point you’re literally just a turret. so yeah.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: As said previously, you need yourself some heavy armor, so we’re starting as a Fighter for proficiency in all weapons and armor. you also get proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, plus History and Perception. blasting a hole in a ship from 300 feet away is fun, but you have to see it first.

with our first Fighting Style you should grab Defense for another +1 to AC. I know archery makes more sense, but we can get that from ranger later, and they have less options. you also get to find a Second Wind as a bonus action to heal yourself. I mean healing is just like retroactively being tougher, right?

2. Fighter 2: second level fighters can use an Action Surge once per short rest. now you can attack twice in a single turn, or… no, that’s pretty much all Tametomo does, huh. well, it makes things easier for me!

3. Fighter 3: at third level, you pick your combat specialty, and as a Battle Master you can use a couple different Combat Superiority maneuvers. You start with three, and that will go up as you level. You can spend one of your four superiority dice, currently d8s, to add that die’s roll to a few different things. for example, Ambush gives you a bonus to your stealth or initiative rolls, (that’s a secret tool for later,) while Precision Attack adds it to your attack roll. Menacing Attack adds it to your attack’s damage, while also forcing it to make a wisdom save or be frightened of you for a turn. frightened creatures can’t move closer to you, making your position even more secure!

you’re also a Student of War, but you can’t really get anything cool with that.

4. Fighter 4: for your first Ability Score Improvement, grab the Sharpshooter feat. now you can attack at long range without disadvantage, quadrupling your potential range. you also ignore all but full cover, and you can take a -5 to your roll to deal an extra 10 points of damage! combine this with some precision attacks, and you’ve got a ton of bonus damage with almost no downside.

5. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters get an Extra Attack, so now you can attack twice in a turn, or four times with action surge. Tametomo prefers quality and quantity with his arrows, so I’m sure this is a welcome addition.

6. Ranger 1: going over to ranger gives you proficiency in Stealth to never get seen while sniping, and as a Deft Explorer you’re also Canny in Perception for double proficiency.

you can also designate a flavored foe, adding a d4 of damage every time you hit them for up to a minute as long as you concentrate on it. you can use this proficiency times a day. it’s not quite as spicy as hunter’s mark, but importantly, it doesn’t use spell slots, has a longer range, and it’ll only get better as we level up.

7. Ranger 2: speaking of hunter’s mark, it’s spells time! you can cast cure wounds and hail of thorns using your wisdom. the former is extra toughness, and the latter is a flurry of arrows. plus we can finally pick up that Archery Fighting Style now for +2 to attack rolls! see, we got there.

8. Ranger 3: at third level you get Primeval Awareness, which is bad, don’t use it. you’re also a Gloom Stalker now, making you a Dread Ambusher. now you can add your wisdom to your initiative rolls, plus you get bonuses on your first turn. you can move an extra 10 feet, and you can make an extra weapon attack as part of your attack action! that’s three attacks, or six with action surge!

you also get Umbral Sight, giving you 60’ of darkvision, and you’re effectively invisible to other creatures using darkvision.

you can also cast Entangle now, which we’re interpreting as like, shooting an arrow straight through someone’s foot and into the floor. you can cast disguise self now too, but that’s just a free subclass thing we don’t need.

9. Ranger 4: use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity. better arching, yo.

10. Fighter 6: sixth level fighters also get another ASI, so bump up your Wisdom for faster fighting and stronger spells.

11. Fighter 7: seventh level fighters get an extra superiority die, as well as two more maneuvers! with commanding presence you can add your die to intimidation, performance, or persuasion checks, and with tactical assessment, you can add it to investigation, history, or insight checks. sadly they don’t have a perception bonus we can get, but we’re doing what we can.

but this all ties into your new ability Know your Enemy! if you spend a minute staring someone down, you can learn about their physical stats, ac, hp, or class levels.

12. Fighter 8: bump up your Strength so you can actually wear platemail. your whole body’s metal, it just makes sense.

13. Fighter 9: ninth level fighters are Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed saving throw once a day. failing a death save is for other, lesser archers.

14. Fighter 10: at tenth level, you gain Improved Combat Superiority. now all your superiority dice are d10s. you also get two new maneuvers. Evasive Footwork adds the roll to your AC while you’re moving, and your Pushing Attack deals extra damage while also pushing the enemy 15’ away from you. if your arrows can sink a boat, you know they have stopping power.

15. Fighter 11: eleventh level fighters have another Extra Attack, letting you attack three times in a turn, or six with action surge. or four on your first turn. or eight with action surge on your first turn.

16. Ranger 5: rangers also get an extra attack but it don’t work with fighter extra attacks so just be happy with what u got.

you get second level spells though! cordon of arrows shoots a buncha arrows at your feet that automatically attack anyone who gets near. random arrow bullshit is kinda your thing. you also get Rope Trick, which lets you hide out in your own dimension for up to an hour. at first this sounds like it’s not something you can do, but really that’s how your entire schtick works, so go nuts.

17. Ranger 6: at sixth level, your flavored foe grows to a d6, and you’re roving! that means you can move another 5’, and you can climb and swim. this is the least like tametomo, but you can always just not move, so.

18. Ranger 7: with your literally iron mind, you get proficiency in wisdom saves. you can also turn your bow into a magic weapon now. I’d hope your dm would give you one by now, but if not we got u covered.

19. Ranger 8: with our last ASI, max out your dexterity for the most archery a man can be. you also get land’s stride which is a thing. if you have problems with magical plants at level 19, now you finally don’t!

20. Ranger 9: with our last level, you get third level spells! fear is whatever, but lightning arrow is how we’re gonna sink a ship. it turns your arrow… get this… into lightning. it doesn’t actually do all that much damage, but it’ll turn a single arrow into an aoe attack, and you could argue it should set stuff on fire, which eventually would take down a ship.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

with a bevy of powered-up bow attacks you can blast out some serious damage on your very first turn, and it’s consistent enough to keep mowing down enemies round after round. and yes, we checked- on your first round, you have just enough damage potential to take down a sailing ship in a single turn. it’s not likely, but it is possible.

you’re also delivering all that damage with a longbow, which means you can put that damage anywhere within 600’ of you with little issue. that’s 120 squares, btw, which is larger than most DMs make their maps if you’re not playing digitally.

we’re not just packing offense either. you’re tough to kill, with proficiency in two of the big three saves, 160ish HP, a base AC of 20 with the option to improve it temporarily, and extraplanar hiding spots at your disposal. any fight against you is going to be an uphill one, basically.

Cons:

you’re great at fights, but terrible at anything else. you have zero social skills, and your best trait for skill rolls is just the getting into fights skill. whenever you’re not shooting down boats, you’re gonna be bored.

being so good at so many parts of combat comes from you being Multi-Ability Dependent, or MAD for short. this means that you need a bunch of different skills to make your build work. sure your dexterity is maxed out, but that came at the cost of your wisdom (making your spells weak) and your constitution (the thing that keeps you ALIVE). further complicating things is the good chunk of stats that went into your strength purely for your shiny armor. if you’re a good archer, you don’t even need that stuff!

your class combo comes with a few pain points that make finding the best fighting style for you a bit difficult. superiority is best used sparingly to alter the flow of battle when needed, but we’re mainly using it to improve our damage, and in that case we’ll burn through all of our dice before the end of our first turn. we have obscene range, but our darkvision only goes out 60 feet. we’re ostensibly supposed to be unseen until our first shots, but we’re wearing plate mail, and so on. much like our stats, we’re pulled in a dozen different directions. we’re good at a lot of it, but there’s still some tension there.

[moonselune]

So I'm writing a longfic and throughout it Minthy adopts a half-drow kid, but I wanted to see the idea as a stand-alone snippet written in your marvelous style, if you're up to it <3

Okay I'm going down the road of accidental child acquisition and for some reason or another she has this half drow kid with her when she is trying to take over Menzoberranzen. I see her plotting in a tavern pre her return, and she just has this kid with her who is trying to show off their latest trick.

Minthara sat at a weathered wooden table in a dimly lit tavern, the flickering candlelight casting shadows on her intricate maps. Her sharp eyes scanned the lines and markings, plotting her next move to reclaim Menzoberranzen. Beside her, a half-drow child fidgeted restlessly, trying to capture her attention.

"Minthy, look! One hand!" the child exclaimed, balancing precariously on a table with one hand.

"It's Minthara, not Minthy, and I am trying to—oh, by the gods, get down from there, now." Minthara snapped, glancing up from her maps. The child wobbled, their hand trembling under the strain.

"Shut up, child eater."

"Sun scum."

"Spider kisser."

"Mongrel."

"Murk—Ow!" The child's arm finally gave way, and they tumbled off the table, landing in a heap on the floor with a crash.

Minthara sighed, a small smile playing on her lips as she smoothed out her maps. "I told you to get down from there," she chided, though her eyes softened as she glanced at the child. Seeing the devious grin forming on their face, she knew they were uninjured. She then stood up abruptly, thwarting the child's plan to kick the chair from under her.

"No fair…" the child grumbled, brushing themselves off.

"Then be better," Minthara retorted as she retrieved the chair that had been unceremoniously kicked across the room.

"Then be better," the child mocked, quickly ducking to avoid the small book Minthara tossed at them. They settled on a nearby chair, drawing their legs up to their chest and huffing. "I'm bored!"

"Then make yourself useful and come plot with me," Minthara said, her tone softening slightly.

"Really?" The child's eyes lit up with excitement as they scrambled off the chair to join her at the table. They peered over the edge, trying to make sense of the intricate plans sprawled across the surface.

"Yes, really," Minthara replied, pulling them closer. "Look here," she pointed to a marked section on the map. "This is where we'll stage our ambush. What do you think we should do to catch them off guard?"

The child's brow furrowed in concentration as they studied the map. "Maybe we can hide in the shadows here," they suggested, pointing to a narrow alleyway.

"That's a good idea. We'll use that to our advantage." Minthara nodded, a proud smile tugging at her lips. She patted the child's head, affectionately, she then motioned for them to grab a chair and sit next to her.

Throughout the night they plotted and schemed, Minthara passing on all that she knew to her new prodigy. She made a mental note to start introducing them to poisons and toxins next, build up their immunity. As the moon peaked in the sky, Minthara was drawn from her thoughts by a light snore, the child had sworn that they were simply resting their head on her shoulder so they could get to see everything from her perspective. She should have known from their ceased chattering that followed soon that you had fallen asleep.

Sighing Minthara picked the child up, being careful not to stir them from their slumber. She had never thought herself particularly maternal, well at least not in the conventional sense, she knew she would be an excellent drow mother. Perhaps she could come to a compromise for this child.

Oh my god I had to stop myself from writing a full fic this was so much fun and I hope you like it - Seluney xox

[lovingkvinner]

The aftermath-

Larissa weems x reader

Basically all the shit that went down after that bitch Marilyn fucked shit up

Tw: death, near death, fire, anxiety and hot milfs

You were getting worried, it was 6.30 and your wife wasn’t even home yet, and to make matters worse when you called she wasn’t picking up. Larissa was always home at 6, every day, she was never late, your wife was a woman who loved a strict routine and if she was going to be late then she definitely would have told you. Dinner had been ready in the pan for a full half hour now and you were just stirring it, keeping it warm and trying not to burn it. ‘Everything is fine, she, she’s fine” you said to yourself as you drew away from the kitchen counter and to the phone. “She will just be dealing with something and her phone ran out of battery. Wednesday will have been causing trouble again I’m sure” you reassured yourself like you were a nervous child, picking up the phone you dialled nevermore’s number hoping that someone would pick up. The phone didn’t even ring. Why wasn’t it ringing? You felt your chest tighten and you pulled your wife’s cardigan that you were wearing tighter around your body, breathing in her scent.

Your cat brushed itself up against your eyes and you reached down to hold it for comfort, you cradled it in your arms like it was a baby “your mother will be home soon Florence… shes just, running late” the cat had no idea what you were saying and just stared back at you with empty eyes before crawling out of your arms.

You placed the phone back on the stand and fiddled with the rings on your finger, you were about to wonder off to the kitchen again to try and salvage the burned mess that had once been dinner when you heard the door open.

In staggered a tired looking Larissa.

“Oh my god-“ you covered your hand with your mouth “I was so worried no one was answering any calls I was about to get in the car and come looking for you” it was at this moment you noticed her appearance, her eyeliner had travelled with her tears to run rivers down her face and her clothes were covered in what looked like soot.

Instinctively you grabbed your wife’s coat from her like you did every evening she returned home but instead of hanging it by the door like usual you just placed it on the floor as it needed to be cleaned.

Larissa said nothing and just hugged you, you held her as she let out a sob, you didn’t even care about your own clothes getting dirty.

“What happened” you asked stroking her mess of hair

“I’m never hiring a normie again. Or anyone for that matter….” She said as the two of you stood.

You pulled back from your wife with confusion “what are you taking about”

“Marilyn wasn’t actually, well, Marilyn. she was Laurel gates and she tried to resurrect some cragstone to kill all of the outcasts and then she poisoned me but I managed to survive when I shapeshifted into a rabbit because I knew they are immune to deadly nightshade but then the building was on fire and a dead corpse was trying to kill everyone but then Wednesday and some of the others killed him… for a second time and no one knows that I’m actually alive and-“ she said all of this without breathing or taking a moment to think.

“Rissa darling slow down you’re in shock, I think you should sit down ‘n i’ll get you some water and we can process this together” you dragged your wife to the table where you made her sit down but when you tried to get her a glass of water she held on to your wrist to stop you.

You took this as a sign and sat down.

“But that’s not the important part!” She told you, her hands holding yours as her teary eyes gazed at you, you had never seen her this way before in the 14 years you had known her “when I was dying and I thought I would never see you again I realised something”

Saying nothing you decided to let her speak and freed one of your hands so you could caress her face, you weren’t sure why but now you were crying too.

“I realised that you are all I want and, and that school is what is holding me back from everything, from happiness, from moving on, from feeling alive. I can’t let it keep me in this god awful town and keep you here too we need to leave, get away, go anywhere” the look in your wife’s eyes was erratic, like someone who’d taken their first shot of heroin and thought they had found god.

You were both sobbing “where Riss where would we go?”

“Wherever you want as long as you are there then I don’t care. We could go back to London have a life see all of our old friends and you could go back to working in the museum instead of the stupid cragstone museum where your mind is wasted and I could teach there, there’s plenty of outcast schools or, or we could even go back to your home I know you miss it and you could show me everything you loved I can learn the language I don’t care!” She was insane but you loved her, this wasn’t the usual Larissa, the sensible Larissa who never did one spontaneous thing her whole life. You liked this though she was finally beginning to see what everyone else is seeing. You sat in awe for a second not saying anything.

This worried your wife.

“Say something please, say anything even if it’s calling me crazy just speak” your wife pleaded and you squeezed her hands to let her know you were thinking of the words.

“I always knew you were bigger than that stupid old school.” You smiled and Larissa gave you the biggest kiss. She sighed and you could finally feel her muscles relax.

Turning around to look at your cat you told her “Florence pack your bags we’re leaving for London”

Larissa laughed at this “don’t worry I’ll find our daughter the best cat school” she joked.

The mood soon turned sour as a knock sounded on the door. “Who could that be?” You wondered.

Larissa’s returned to being panicked “oh, that will be the police they think I’m dead!”

“Well what should I say?!” you asked her desperately. Your wife looked around herself aimlessly “I hope you can act. Faking your death is about as fresh as fresh starts come?”

Kissing your wife on the forehead you stood up and made your way towards the door, you looked back at her and smirked “you were never heeereeeee” you joked in a spooky voice before sauntering away

Larissa stayed close enough that she could here but not close enough she could be seen.

You pulled the door open and put on your worried wife act “hello, oh officer what is it? Is something wrong” it helped you had been crying, seemed more authentic.

He looked towards the floor, a look of regretful anticipation was plastered on his tired face “it’s, it’s your wife, Larissa Weems”

You opened the door further to look interested “oh what is it? I am dreadfully worried, see she was supposed to be home over half an hour ago I can’t seem to get a hold of her.” You increased your worried expression and god you hoped this was enough.

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but, I’m afraid she’s passed away” he didn’t make eye contact with you.

Tears flowed down your face at an instant “no; no no no what do you mean. No she’ll be home any minute you’ve got the wrong person!” You found it pretty easy to act sad and you hadn’t felt that different from the emotion only minutes prior.

“We’ve had witness accounts say she was poisoned. Although we don’t have a bod-“ he began to explain.

“What do you mean no body?!” You asked in desperation, you didn’t want to look like you were accepting your own wife’s death.

“Well we’ve had witnesses say she died but we haven’t found her in the wreck yet…” he said, more drawn back than before.

“I think I want time to process this on my own if you don’t mind officer”, your hands covered your face as you weeped.

“Of course, I’ll swing by if I get anymore information. I’m sorry for your Loss” that was all he said before walking away from the porch and climbing back into his car.

You slammed the door shut with relief.

“And scene!” Announced your wife from the kitchen

“Do you still have funerals if there is no body” walking over to her you leaned your body into hers.

“Yeah it’s just like an empty casket and everyone pretends” in amidst your conversation with the police your wife had been rooting through the pantry and was now eating cookies, she offered you one and you took it gladly.

“Guess we’ll have to stay until the funeral, it would be suspicious if I left seconds after my wife had dropped dead” you breathed in the scent of your wife which once was expensive perfume was now the smell of smoke and dirt.

Larissa was visibly exited “ I am SO attending my own funeral but like as someone famous so everyone thinks I’m cool” she squeezed you as she held you and placed a kiss on your cheek from behind.

Chuckling at your wife you escaped from her grasp “you are such a narcissist”

“No I just want to see Wednesdays face when she thinks I’m dead. Anyway I’m hungry do you want to order pizza?”

“Absolutely”

[cagemasterfantasy]

Autognome Ranking and Features (5e)

Guide

1=do not play this class as this race

2=can play but not recommended

3=decent choice

4=perfect

Astral Adventurer's Guide

Autognomes are mechanical beings built by rock gnomes. Sometimes, because of a malfunction or a unique circumstance, an autognome becomes separated from its creator and strikes out on its own.

An autognome bears a resemblance to its creator, and most autognomes are programmed to speak and understand Gnomish. The internal components used in an autognome’s manufacture can vary wildly; one autognome might have an actual beating heart in its chest cavity, while another might be powered by stardust or intricate clockwork gears.

Roll on the Autognome History table or choose an entry that you like to identify what event set you on the path to adventure. If nothing on the table appeals to you, work with your DM to create an origin story for your character.

Like gnomes, autognomes can live for centuries, typically up to 500 years.

d6 Story

1 Your creator gave you autonomy and urged you to follow your dreams.

2 Your creator died, leaving you to fend for yourself.

3 A glitch caused you to forget your original programming. You don’t remember who made you or where you came from.

4 You didn’t like how you were being treated by your creator, so you ran away from home.

5 Your creator built you to complete a special mission.

6 You felt trapped in the role for which you were built and abandoned your creator, determined to find a greater purpose.

Ability Score Increase. Increase one ability score by 2, and increase a different one by 1, or increase three different scores by 1.

Creature Type. You are a Construct.

Size. You are Small.

Speed. Your walking speed is 30 feet.

Armored Casing. You are encased in a thin metal or some other durable material. While you aren't wearing armor, your base Armor Class is 13 + your Dexterity modifier.

Built for Success. You can add a d4 to one attack roll, ability check, or saving throw you make, and you can do so after seeing the d20 roll but before the effects of the roll are resolved. You can use this trait a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

Healing Machine. If the Mending spell is cast on you, you can spend a Hit Die, roll it, and regain a number of hit points equal to the roll plus your Constitution modifier (minimum of 1 hit point). In addition, your creator designed you to benefit from several spells that preserve life but that normally don't affect Constructs: Cure Wounds, Healing Word, Mass Cure Wounds, Mass Healing Word, and Spare the Dying.

Mechanical Nature. You have resistance to poison damage and immunity to disease, and you have advantage on saving throws against being paralyzed or poisoned. You don't need to eat, drink, or breathe.

Sentry's Rest. When you take a long rest, you spend at least 6 hours in an inactive, motionless state, instead of sleeping. In this state, you appear inert, but you remain conscious.

Specialized Design. You gain two tool proficiencies of your choice, selected from the Player's Handbook.

Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common and one other language that you and your DM agree is appropriate.

Artificer 3 Autognomes feel like natural Artificers. 2 additional tool proficiencies is nice and since you can learn Mending you can heal yourself outside of combat. Built for Success stacks with Flash of Genius. Disappointingly though there are few clear builds where Autognome really shines. Battle Smith’s Steel Defender’s Repair action notably works on constructs objects and itself. This means that the Steel Defender can heal Autognomes. It requires you to command it unless you’re Incapacitated in which case it can do as it pleases including healing you when you drop to 0.

Barbarian 3 the damage and condition resistances and immunities are great on any martial character and Built for Success is always great

Bard 3 Autognome’s natural armor is better than any of Bard’s armor options and Built for Success is great insurance for Bard’s many skills

Cleric 4 Listen to me. You should not under any circumstances play an Autognome Peace Domain. You should not under any circumstances use the spell Bless while playing said Peace Domain. You should not under any circumstance find an ally to cast Guidance since you’re busy concentrating on Bless. You certainly should never use Built for Success while doing any of the previously-mentioned things. And never ever under any circumstances should you then triumphantly throw a fistful of d4’s on the table. Don’t do it. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge

Druid 3 Autognome’s natural armor is better than any of Druid’s manufactured armor options and Built for Success is great on any character. Armored Casing Healing Machine and Mechanical Nature likely don’t function while using Wild Shape

Fighter 4 Armored Casing is great for Dexterity-based builds giving you as much AC as full plate once you hit 20 Dexterity. Mechanical Nature gives you some helpful protections against hazards frequently faced by front-line martial characters and Built for Success can rescue a saving throw that you fail by a point or two providing an extra layer of protection. Outside of combat Healing Machine is a great way to get back up to full hit points without stopping for a Short Rest but you’ll likely need someone else to cast Mending. With all the extra ASIs provided by this class though you could afford to take Magic Initiate at level 6 and pick up Mending another cantrip and a once-a-day spell without falling behind on the fundamental math

Monk 4 Autognome’s natural armor and damage resistances are great for Monk especially if you pick a subclass where you can safely dump Wisdom like Way of the Kensei. Built for Success is always great and once you have Diamond Soul saving throws feel much less threatening

Paladin 4 Armored Casing is great for Dexterity-based builds giving you as much AC as full plate once you hit 20 Dexterity. Mechanical Nature gives you some helpful protections against hazards frequently faced by front-line martial characters and Built for Success can rescue a saving throw that you fail by a point or two providing an extra layer of protection on top of Aura of Defense. Outside of combat Healing Machine is a great way to get back up to full hit points without stopping for a Short Rest or dipping into Lay on Hands but you’ll likely need someone else to cast Mending

Ranger 4 Armored Casing is great for Dexterity-based builds giving you as much AC as full plate once you hit 20 Dexterity. Mechanical Nature gives you some helpful protections against hazards frequently faced by front-line martial characters, and Built for Success can rescue a saving throw that you fail by a point or two, providing an extra layer of protection. Outside of combat Healing Machine is a great way to get back up to full hit points without stopping for a Short Rest but you’ll likely need someone else to cast Mending

Rogue 4 Armored Casing is better than any of Rogue’s manufactured armor options and Built for Success is great insurance since Rogue makes frequent skill checks and since Sneak Attack is often a high-stakes attack with no second chance to hit

Sorcerer 3 Mage Armor will match Armored Casing and Built for Success is always great

Warlock 4 Armored Casing will be more effective than light armor so for anyone except Hexblade it’s an improvement. If you do go for Hexblade and dive into melee Mechanical Nature provides some helpful defenses and Healing Machine allows you to heal yourself outside of combat by casting Mending

Wizard 3 same as Sorcerer

[dailycharacteroption]

Green Knight (Cavalier Archetype)

Ah yes, the Story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, one of the most well-known Arthurian legends, and yet, few people know that we very nearly lost this one, the original story only existing in one complete manuscript. Can you fathom how many other stories have been lost to time because of a lack of preservation efforts?

In any case, the story is so well-known that you can probably rattle off the plot relatively quickly. Sir Gawain, a knight of King Arthur’s court, encounters a mysterious green armored and skinned night who offers a game in which he will deliver the same blow to whoever strikes him in a year’s time. Foolishly Gawain goes for the neck, decapitating the Green Knight, only for him to get right back up, grab his head, and say “See you next year.” What follows is a tale detailing the inner struggle of young Gawain as he wrestles with his own mortal fear and his honor as a knight, as well as the temptations  sent to lead him astray (by the Knight himself, of course. This is naturally all a trial of his devising). Finally, Gawain accepts his fate, but is greeted by surprising mercy as the Green Knight stopped his blade so as only to give Gawain a small cut on his neck.

Now, this story has been analyzed to hell and back from all sorts of angles, but today I’d like to talk about the Green Knight himself, more specifically, what is he? Certainly his allegorical nature is the topic of much discussion, but the knight himself might be an interpretation of a forest god alongside or even being a version of The Green Man, or he might even be a fey being.

The cavalier archetype that is named for this legend interprets the cavaliers in question as beings of mortal ancestry that have been blessed by fey powers, be they the Eldest, some lesser fey nobility, or even by the First World itself to have power over nature and even their own survivability, getting back up from even otherwise lethal maiming.

Regardless of their origins, these knights serve as noble guardians of nature, protecting the wilds while also upholding the honorable ideas normally seen in courts in civilization. Today we will be looking at those abilities and how they use them to great effect.

As guardians of nature, these knights have a special empathy for animal life, able to calm and befriend them the way that druids do.

They are also surprisingly tough, able to exert themselves and endure much pain without faltering.

They are, however, universally part of the Order of the Green, making them quite adept at defending nature, especially from the unnatural.

While others on death’s door would struggle to act, these warriors can not only ignore the pain and act at full capacity, but also avoid bleeding out when in such a state.

Like a druid, they also stride through natural terrain without hinderance.

Their toughness is so great that they can shrug off effects entirely that would normally at least have partial effect on their body or mind.

Green Knights even become immune to disease, infestation, and poisons, their bodies becoming impervious to such afflictions.

Among the most powerful of them find their weapons blessed to seek their target’s necks, ending most battles swiftly and surely.

The most powerful among them, however, become nearly unkillable, becoming warded against lethal necromancy and illusions, and even being able to live without their heads, fighting on even while decapitated, and able to reattach it with the help of common healing magic.

While you may give up your mount and class features associated with riding, this archetype proves tough and resilient, becoming almost paladin-like in the way they absorb incoming harmful effects and lethal damage, and boast order abilities geared towards slaying the unnatural. The utility abilities in dealing with nature are nice too. Buy yourself an ordinary non-class-feature mount and build for being a tanky and supportive combatant.

In the story, the Green Knight serves primarily to be the force that tests Gawain, the golden boy of Arthurian legend (at least until Lancelot and later Galahad supplant him in later stories), but the motives of your green knight may vary. Perhaps they have been selected by an order of druids to fight on their behalf due to their righteous and protective nature, or they may struggle to live up to the ideals that drew a fey to favor them in the first place, and so on.

Known throughout the land for her chivalry, Ser Vicen caught the eye of a fey queen, who offered her a deal, service in exchange for the forest’s protection for her kingdom. So far the deal has gone well, but recently Vicen has noticed changes, her skin taking on a greenish, plantlike pallor.

Every year, a green-armored knight has come during each festival year to test various nobles and knights in games of honor. However, the chancellor, secretly a kuwa oni, has had enough of this flagrant promotion of goodly virture in the nation that he has been trying to corrupt into debauchery for years. He seeks a no-questions-asked group to hunt down and slay the figure before he is the one picked for such a test, and found wanting.

Known now only by the name Mossmane, the centaur green knight that answers to that title is a local legend, a green-draped figure that wanders the forests in search of exploitation and evil to destroy. Those that prove their mettle might gain a bit of the elder warrior’s wisdom.

[godtier]

Hello! I got suggested to come here recently and have a little question for ya--

I was reading the pixiv and jp wikipedia page for Leon and it says he has antibodies that prevent him from turning into a zombie, even if he's bitten...!? Is that true?? Apparently it's only the T-virus or something since they make it clear that he can get infected by the C-virus. I was wondering if this was just a fan theory about why he could be bitten in gameplay and still not turn into a zombie, or if it was kind of true...?

hi there! thanks for the follow!

aight so the antibody thing is a weird one. this is gonna be a long tangent, brace yourself!

to be clear, there are only a handful of characters that canonically have antibodies. Jake Muller and Sherry Birkin (kind of, she's a weird case) are two big examples. I went and found the posts/wikis you were talking about and the first thing I noticed is that they didn't source anything for those specific claims. second thing I noticed is that they directly referenced "game over" wrt RE6 and the C virus.

that tells me exactly what I need to know, which is that those lines are merely a way for the JPN fandom to explain how the playable characters can continue to exist semi-normally after being bitten during gameplay.

this is actually a pretty common way to explain away game mechanics, not just in RE. for example, say you have a game where you build up an arsenal of weaponry in the first installment, but your character has none of it at their disposal in the sequel. sometimes game devs will write in an explanation as to why that is. maybe their weapons got stolen, or maybe they lost them, or whatever. it's a way to better immerse the player, especially if they're playing sequels back to back. but a lot of devs don't or didn't bother because they rely on the cutscenes (or in really old games, the instruction manuals) to tell the story. it's sort of an "old habit" of game dev, I'd say. and that's why it's especially prevalent in older games; older games were way more heavily treated like... well, games you play for getting a high score or whatever, rather story-telling experiences (JRPGs notwithstanding). gameplay actions (such as game overs or status effects like getting poisoned) and story were almost always separate.

nowadays, a good chunk of game devs like to make the player character "unique" in some way in the sense of examining why certain gameplay mechanics operate the way they do and why a character may or may not be affected by them logically. this is especially the case in zombie games. how can they survive getting bitten? well, maybe they're immune (left 4 dead, dead island, etc).

but gameplay itself is not always canon, and in RE in particular, the "canon" way of looking at it is that... well, Leon just never got bitten at all. that's the canon of the game, anything else is set dressing or just part of the gameplay itself. if you get bitten while playing, but still beat the game, the canon doesn't change around that. it just proceeds with the assumption that Leon never got bitten. that's how he survived in the story, regardless of how well you did in the gameplay.

so the idea that Leon and other characters have antibodies isn't exactly true unless outright specified, which it never has been, from what I could find. if they did have antibodies, I feel as though it would have a much, much larger focus of the stories as a whole.

take Jake from RE6, for example. his entire character arc was that he had specific antibodies that made him totally immune to the C virus. this was a huge plot point as his blood was required to create a vaccine and he was the only verified case of total immunity. if Leon and other characters had T virus antibodies, for example, I feel like it would have been explored or at least mentioned consistently in the story, or pointed out by someone during a cutscene.

so tl;dr: Leon having antibodies is a headcanon or fanon likely created out of a desire to explain away how he could survive being bitten during gameplay. but gameplay actions aren't always canon. the canon of RE2 is just... he's insanely lucky and never got bitten!

I hope that answers the question for you! I'm happy to chat about RE or other Capcom games any time 😊

[twigg96]

“Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Dread Pirate Roberts: You've made your decision then?

Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Dread Pirate Roberts: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: WAIT TILL I GET GOING! Where was I?

Dread Pirate Roberts: Australia.

Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Dread Pirate Roberts: You're just stalling now.

Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Dread Pirate Roberts: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.

Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! You've given everything away! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!

Dread Pirate Roberts: Then make your choice.

Vizzini: I will, and I choose... What in the world can that be? [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts turns to look, and Vizzini switches the position of the goblets]

Dread Pirate Roberts: What? Where? I don't see anything.

Vizzini: Well, I, I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [Vizzini smirks]

Dread Pirate Roberts: What's so funny?

Vizzini: I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.

Dread Pirate Roberts: You guessed wrong.

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha... [Vizzini stops suddenly, and drops dead to the right]

Buttercup: Who are you?

Dread Pirate Roberts: I'm no one to be trifled with. That is all you ever need know.

Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.

Dread Pirate Roberts: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.”

- the Princess Bride

Tumblr, I propose a battle of wits!

I have put Iocaine powder in one of these two goblets. You choose, then we both drink.

[pestaus]

Why Rodent Control Services Are Essential for Every Homeowner

Rodents are more than just an occasional nuisance for homeowners; they pose serious risks to health, property, and overall well-being. Whether it’s mice, rats, or other small pests, these creatures can sneak into homes through the tiniest openings, causing havoc and destruction if left unchecked. 

While many homeowners might try to tackle the issue on their own, professional rodent control services offer a more effective, long-term solution.

In this blog, let’s dive deep into the reasons why rodent control Brisbane services are essential for every homeowner, covering the potential risks rodents pose, the limitations of do-it-yourself methods, and the benefits of professional pest management.

The Risks Posed by Rodents

Understanding the full extent of the risks rodents bring into your home helps illustrate why professional intervention is crucial. These risks fall into three primary categories: damage to property, health hazards, and the rapid pace at which rodents reproduce.

1. Damage to Property

Rodents are notorious for causing significant damage to homes. Their sharp teeth and gnawing behaviour can wreak havoc on various parts of the house. Mice and rats chew through wood, insulation, and even drywall, creating holes that compromise the structural integrity of the building. But the most concerning is their tendency to chew on wires, which poses a severe fire risk.

According to the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), rodents chewing on electrical wiring is a leading cause of house fires in the U.S. The damage caused by rodents not only results in costly repairs but also endangers the lives of those living in the home. Even minor infestations can lead to big expenses as you try to repair or replace damaged property.

2. Health Hazards

Beyond property damage, rodents present a wide range of health risks to you and your family. They are known carriers of many dangerous diseases that can be transmitted through their droppings, urine, saliva, and fur. Some of the diseases associated with rodents include:

Hantavirus: A serious respiratory disease transmitted through rodent droppings and urine.

Leptospirosis: Spread through contact with water or soil contaminated by infected rodents.

Salmonella: Rodents can contaminate food and kitchen surfaces with their faeces, leading to food poisoning.

Lymphocytic choriomeningitis (LCMV): A viral infection spread by house mice.

In addition to these diseases, rodent droppings and urine can cause allergic reactions or worsen respiratory conditions like asthma. Young children, the elderly, and those with weakened immune systems are particularly vulnerable to the health risks posed by rodents.

3. Rodent Reproduction

One of the most alarming aspects of rodent infestations is their rapid reproduction rate. A single pair of rats can produce up to 2,000 offspring in one year, while mice can breed up to 10 litters annually, with each litter containing 6–8 babies. What may start as a small infestation can quickly turn into a full-blown problem if not addressed promptly?

Rodents are highly adaptive creatures, and their ability to breed so quickly makes them even more challenging to control. This is why acting swiftly when you first notice signs of an infestation is critical to preventing an overwhelming rodent problem in your home.

Common Signs of a Rodent Infestation

The first step in combating Brisbane termite services is recognising the signs of an infestation early. Here are the most common indicators that your home may have unwanted rodent visitors:

1. Physical Signs

Rodents leave behind a variety of physical clues that can help identify their presence. The most obvious signs include:

Droppings: Small, pellet-like droppings can be found near food sources, under sinks, in cabinets, or along baseboards.

Gnawed Surfaces: Rodents chew on furniture, wiring, plastic, and wood. Look for holes or chew marks on wires and walls.

Footprints or Tail Marks: In dusty areas like basements or attics, you may see small footprints or drag marks from their tails.

2. Noises

Rodents are nocturnal, meaning they are most active at night. If you hear scratching, gnawing, or scampering noises coming from your walls, attic, or ceiling at night, it’s a clear indication of rodent activity. These noises can be unsettling and are often one of the first signs that prompt homeowners to investigate further.

3. Smell

Rodents leave behind a distinct musky odour from their urine and nests. If a rodent has died within your home’s walls or other hidden areas, the smell of decay can also be an obvious sign. If you notice any unusual odours that persist despite cleaning, it may be time to consider a rodent inspection.

4. Sightings

Though rodents are secretive and prefer to stay hidden, spotting a live or dead rodent is a major warning sign. Seeing even one rodent can indicate that there are more lurking nearby, as they typically live in groups. If you spot a rodent during the day, it’s likely that there’s an established infestation, as they tend to only venture out in daylight when there’s severe overcrowding or food scarcity.

Why DIY Methods Often Fail

While it may be tempting to attempt a do-it-yourself approach to rodent control, the reality is that most over-the-counter rodent control Brisbane solutions fail to effectively solve the problem. Here’s why:

1. Limited Effectiveness of Over-the-Counter Solutions

Traps and poisons from hardware stores can seem like a quick fix, but they often address only part of the problem. Rodents are clever and can learn to avoid traps, or they might not be attracted to the bait provided. Furthermore, poisons can be dangerous when misused, especially in homes with pets or small children.

Rodents are also excellent at finding alternative food sources, which makes it difficult to lure them into traps. Store-bought methods typically target only the visible rodents, leaving nests and breeding grounds untouched.

2. Hidden Nesting Areas

Rodents prefer to hide in hard-to-reach areas such as inside walls, attics, basements, or behind large appliances. Their nesting areas can be incredibly difficult to locate without professional equipment or knowledge. DIY methods often overlook these hidden spots, allowing the infestation to persist even after some rodents are caught or killed.

3. Potential Hazards of DIY Approaches

Mishandling poisons, traps, and other DIY methods can present risks to you, your family, and your pets. Misapplied poisons can be ingested accidentally by children or pets, leading to serious health emergencies. Additionally, if a rodent dies within your walls after consuming poison, the decomposition process can lead to foul odours and attract even more pests, such as flies or maggots.

DIY methods also often fail to address the root cause of the infestation, such as entry points or food sources that attract rodents in the first place.

The Benefits of Professional Rodent Control Services

Given the complexity and challenges of rodent infestations, professional pest control services provide a more reliable and efficient solution. Here’s why hiring professionals is the best course of action:

1. Comprehensive Inspection and Treatment

Professional rodent control services begin with a thorough inspection of your home to assess the extent of the infestation. Experts know where to look for signs of rodents, including hidden nesting areas, entry points, and food sources. They use specialised tools and technology, such as infrared cameras and moisture meters, to detect rodent activity that would otherwise go unnoticed.

Once the inspection is complete, professionals develop a customised treatment plan tailored to your home’s specific needs. This ensures that the entire infestation is addressed, not just the visible rodents.

2. Long-Term Prevention

Rodent control services don’t just focus on removing the immediate problem; they also help prevent future infestations. Professionals will seal entry points, such as cracks in walls, gaps around windows and doors, and holes in your home’s foundation, to keep rodents from re-entering. They can also provide advice on proper food storage, waste management, and home maintenance to make your home less attractive to pests.

Many pest control companies offer ongoing monitoring and maintenance programs to ensure that your home stays rodent-free in the long term. This proactive approach is far more effective than reactive DIY methods.

3. Safer and More Efficient Solutions

Professionals use safe, humane, and environmentally friendly methods to eliminate rodents from your home. They are trained to handle poisons and traps responsibly, minimising risks to your family and pets. In many cases, professionals may use non-toxic solutions or humane traps to remove rodents without harming the environment.

By hiring a professional, you’re ensuring that the infestation is dealt with quickly and effectively, saving you time, stress, and potential hazards.

Protecting Your Home from Future Infestations

Once the Brisbane termite services infestation is under control, it’s important to take steps to prevent rodents from returning. Here are some tips for keeping your home rodent-free:

1. Proactive Prevention Tips

Seal Cracks and Holes: Inspect your home’s foundation, walls, and roof for any gaps or cracks that rodents could use to enter. Seal them with caulk, steel wool, or other rodent-proof materials.

Proper Food Storage: Keep all food in airtight containers, including pet food. Make sure kitchen counters are clean and free of crumbs, and store garbage in bins with tight-fitting lids.

Maintain Cleanliness: Keep your home, especially areas like the kitchen, pantry, and basement, clean and free of clutter. Rodents are attracted to areas with abundant food sources and hiding spots.

2. The Importance of Regular Inspections

Even after taking preventive measures, it’s essential to schedule regular inspections with a pest control professional. This ensures that any early signs of a new infestation are caught and dealt with before they become a larger problem. Regular inspections are particularly important for homes located in areas prone to rodent activity or those with a history of infestations.

Conclusion

Rodent infestations pose serious risks to your health, safety, and home, making it crucial to address the problem as soon as it’s detected. While DIY methods may provide temporary relief, they are often ineffective at tackling the root of the problem. Professional rodent control services offer a more comprehensive, long-term solution that ensures the safety of your home and family.

By investing in professional rodent control Brisbane, you not only eliminate the current infestation but also safeguard your home against future threats. The peace of mind that comes from knowing your home is protected from rodents is well worth the investment. Don’t wait until the problem becomes overwhelming—act today to protect your home from the dangers of rodent infestations.

Source by - https://shorturl.at/3F2vD 

[nimbanaturecure]

This Monsoon, Keep Yourself Safe from the Following Challenges

At Nimba Nature Cure, it is our belief that prevention is better than cure that’s why we give you natural treatment for your health challenges this monsoon. Below are some difficulties you may face during monsoon and how you can protect your health with tips for monsoon wellness and naturopathy remedies.

Some General monsoon troubles and way to deal with them

1. Respiratory Issues

It is usually during the monsoon when relative humidity is higher that respiratory disorders such as asthma, bronchitis, and allergies are likely to be intensified. Dampness together with humidity also facilitates the growth of mould which is likely to cause respiratory problems.

Naturopathy Solution: Take natural herbs into your diet such as tulsi leaves, ginger and turmeric. Other measures that are beneficial for the improvement of respiratory organs’ health include performing breathing exercises and steam inhalation with eucalyptus oil.

2. Digestive Problems

They get hold of you during the monsoon season and affect the digestive system causing problems such as indigestion, bloating and food poisoning. Frequent rainfall washes all sorts of pathogens into the air and makes the foods and water to be more likely to cause gastrointestinal complications.

Naturopathy Solution: Avoid the consumption of junk foods and grains, but consume foods with many vitamins especially those from selected fruits and vegetables in each season. Drinking teas containing such products as peppermint and fennel help in digestion and reducing bloating. Do not take lightly foods and make sure the drinking water is free from bacteria.

3. Skin Infections

The monsoon season poses a challenge due to skin conditions such as fungus, athlete’s foot and ringworm that are most probably caused by dampness and humidity.

Naturopathy Solution: Ensure you keep yourself clean especially your skin, ensure that you do not let it stay wet for long. Take no processed foods, and stay away from modern drugs and cosmetics; wear fibre clothing that is not synthetic. The use of neem oil, aloe vera gel will help one prevent and treat skin infections.

4. Joint and Muscle Pain

High humidity levels during monsoon which arthritic or joint pain patients know all too well is that their conditions are likely aggravated during this time of the year.

Naturopathy Solution: Having warm herbal oil massages from time to time also ease pain of the joint and the muscles. Swimming is also another exercise that should be undertaken since it just keeps your body joints flexible and not stiff.

5. Weakened Immunity

Monsoon introduces fluctuating weather changes that adversely affects your immunity system, and as such, you get diseases.

Naturopathy Solution: They play a critical role on the immune system; this is where you should begin from. Hence the following: This should include fruits that should only be taken in their raw state, nuts, seed and green and dark green vegetables. Other measures that would also assist one to maintain a good immune system include exercises, sleep, and stress.

Herbal Remedies: There are numerous remedies that are used for the prevention and cure of monsoon diseases traditionally. The naturopathy centres that we have have herbs and natural supplements that help in building up the immune system, digestion, respiratory organs and several others.

Yoga and Meditation: Yoga and meditation are the primary activities that we undertake in order to improve physical and mental health of an individual. It is very beneficial for people as it maintains flexibility, reduces joint pains and even strengthens the immune system.

Diet and Nutrition Counseling: Our nutrition specialists inform clients on diets that can suit them in matters concerning their programs. Such plans are offered with the focus on the monsoon foods that will be advantageous to the health.

Wellness during the monsoon is not only about avoiding sickness, but also including the concept of health in the larger sense. Sustainable health is an admirable goal that we at Nimba Nature Cure ensure to assist you accomplish through our naturopathy treatments. This monsoon, shield yourself from the seasonal issues and welcome the nature cures into your life. To get more information about our treatments and how they can be of help to you, kindly contact our naturopathy centres.

Read More:- This Monsoon, Keep Yourself Safe from the Following Challenges.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #306: Galatea

today on Fate and Phantasms we’re carving up a new servant for y’all, it’s the great Galatea! this work of art is a Swords Bard to wield a giant chisel with pinpoint precision, as well as a Psi Warrior Fighter for extra techno weaponry!

check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

next up: peace!

Race and Background

it’s a shame that they haven’t made the Warforged constructs yet, but they’re still a better fit than autognomes. still, as a robot forged for war you get +2 Constitution, +1 Charisma, a Constructed Resilience that protects you from poison and makes sure you don’t need to eat, breathe, or sleep, and you’re immune to disease. instead of sleeping you take a Sentry’s Rest, spending six hours motionless but conscious. you also have some Integrated Protection, so any armor you wear gets a permanent +1 bonus to AC, and it can’t be removed against your will. it’s kind of up in the air whether or not you even wear armor, but I’ll leave that to your discretion.

since you were made by an artist and a god, your Specialized Design gives you proficiency in Religion checks as well as with Mason’s Tools, since they’re the closest thing we have to sculptor’s tools.

Galatea’s technically a queen, so she’s a Noble. that gives her proficiency with History and Persuasion!

Ability Scores

depending on how you categorize her, Galatea’s power either comes from within herself, from being a work of art, or from a deal made with a powerful being. thankfully, all three of those options are Charisma casters, so make that the highest score! after that is Strength, that chisel isn’t a light weapon, and you really drive it into people. third up is Dexterity, since that’s usually how AC is calculated, and you have literal chiseled abs. that means your Constitution isn’t as high as I’d like, but it’s still above average, and it gets better as a Warforged anyway. your Intelligence is pretty low- you never went to school, because you were born as a fully-grown adult. I hope. finally, dump Wisdom. you were made by a berserker, you are a berserker, and you’re powered by one of the least consistent gods in ancient greece. it’s not looking good for your sanity.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: we’re mostly starting off as a fighter for that heavy armor proficiency, but you also get good with Strength and Constitution saves, as well as Insight and Perception to see better targets to sculpt, so it’s not too bad. you’ll also start off with the Unarmed Fighting Style, so your fists do 1d8 damage per hit or 1d6 while holding something, just like ascension 1.

finally, your Second Wind gives you a chance to put yourself back together as a bonus action for a little healing.

2. Bard 1: now that your shell is ready to go, let’s fill it. moving over to bard gives you proficiency with any one skill of your choice, so let’s grab Performance. I doubt that’s how sculpting works, but you never know- better safe than sorry.

on top of that, you gain some Bardic Inspiration- proficiency times per day you can spend a bonus action to give an ally a d6 they can use on any attack roll, save, or check happening in the next couple of minutes. you can only give one of those out at a time, but in the meantime you’ll have plenty of Spells to busy yourself with, which you cast using your Charisma.

Blade Ward makes you resistant to physical attacks for a turn, while Mending might be able to piece yourself back together. that doesn’t work rules as written though, so also grab Cure Wounds.

Your jetpack is not fully operational yet, but it can help you Feather Fall as a reaction to prevent falling damage for you and some friends, who are obviously just holding onto you. Use your Fairy Fire as a makeshift Reckless Attack, and also grab Heroism for more defense, giving you or an ally temporary HP each turn as well as immunity to being frightened.

3. Bard 2: A second-level bard is a Jack of All Trades, allowing you to add half your proficiency bonus to all checks you aren’t proficient in. This includes your initiative checks, so from now on you’ll be slightly more likely to go first every time, just like in FGO!

You can also sculpt a… Statue? of Rest each short rest, granting your allies an extra die of healing when they use hit dice. Just go with it.

Finally, your ranged armaments are beginning to come online, starting with Thunderwave, which deals a cone of thunder damage and pushes creatures back if they fail a Constitution save.

4. Bard 3: Starting at the third level of bard, your College of Swords allows you to turn your inspiration dice into Blade Flourishes once per turn, though your movement speed always increases by 10 feet each attack action. Each time you expend a die, you can choose one of three options. A Defensive Flourish deals extra damage based on the size of your inspiration die, as well as adding that roll to your AC. This is the most in-character option. That being said, you can also choose between a Slashing Flourish or a Mobile Flourish. The former deals extra damage to any creatures you choose within 5 feet of you; while the latter pushes the target backwards and deals extra damage, and afterwards you can react to move closer to them.

Another important bonus to not is your new Two-Weapon Fighting Style, allowing you to ascend and use a hammer and chisel at the same time! Currently those would have to be a light hammer and a dagger, so sticking to one weapon might be the better option. Still, at least you can use your weapons as spellcasting focuses.

You also gain second level spells now, and while we’re still not lifting off your Kinetic Jaunt lets you speed around enemies with ease, increasing your movement speed, preventing opportunity attacks, and allowing you to move through creatures’ spaces.

Finally, you gain Expertise in two skills, doubling your proficiency bonus with Mason’s Tools and Perception, allowing you greater skill to capture your muses in marble.

5. Bard 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bring up your Strength to more reasonable levels, considering we’re relying on it so much. The good news is if you’re using heavy armor you will now be able to pick up the more reliable splint or plate mail options.

This level, you can now Message other members of Chaldea, and you can Shatter your foes with missile fire- ironically, this has advantage against inorganic creatures.

6. Bard 5: At level 5, your Bardic Inspiration dice grow to d8s, and you become a Font of Inspiration. This means you regain spent inspiration dice on short rests and long ones!

You also gain a third level spell, like Nondetection. Sadly, we cannot get Nystul’s Magic Aura to completely rewrite your creature type, but we can at least make it so you don’t show up when someone searches for humanoids.

7. Bard 6: Sixth level swords bards can make an Extra Attack each action, as well as gaining a Countercharm, giving nearby allies advantage on saves against being charmed or frightened that round.

You’re already a light sleeper, so taking a Catnap just makes sense, allowing you and three other creatures to take a short rest over the course of ten minutes.

8. Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells like Raulothim’s Psychic Lance. With this, you can launch a seeking missile at a creature within 120 feet of you. If they fail their Intelligence save, they’ll take psychic damage and become incapacitated for a round.

9. Bard 8: Use this ASI to pick up the Dual Wielder feat. With this, you get an AC boost while dual-wielding, and you can dual-wield non-light weapons as well, giving us our final form… of your second ascension. Use a warhammer for your hammer, and a spear for your chisel.

Speaking of chiseling, you can now use Polymorph to sculpt a new form for an enemy or friend! …I admit some of these spells have been stretches of the imagination, but we were only ever really here for fifth level spells.

10 Bard 9: At ninth level your song of rest grows more powerful, and you can finally sculpt creatures so lifelike they can actually come to life, at least temporarily. With Animate Objects, you can bring up to eight of your creations to life, depending on their size, and have them swarm your foes on your behalf!

11. Bard 10: Our final level of bard is still quite useful for us, granting you the Light cantrip for dramatic weaponry, as well as Expertise in Insight and Performance.

Your magic also grows stronger, with larger inspiration dice and Magical Secrets- two spells you can pick up from any spell list. If you need mobility, Fly does exactly what you expect, granting you a flying speed as long as you maintain concentration. If you need to sink like a stone, Stoneskin will toughen up your spirit origin for resistance against nonmagical physical attacks.

12. fighter 2: at second level fighters can make an action surge once a short rest, giving you another action to do whatever you want! you can’t use your flourishes twice a turn, but attacking twice can still speed you up!

13. fighter 3: at third level you become a psi warrior which, if you remember from summer okita’s build, stands for… “pjetpack something inyourback”. anyway, your psionic power gives you a bunch psi dice, the total number is equal to twice your proficiency bonus. they’re d6s now, and they grow as you level up. you get them all back each long rest, but you can also spend a bonus action to get one back once per short rest.

right now you can use them in three ways- you can make a protective field to reduce incoming damage for yourself or a friend, you can make a psionic strike to deal extra damage, or you can use telekinetic movement to move a large or smaller object around. you can do that last one for free once a short rest, or by psending a die.

14. fighter 4: use this asi to round up your dexterity when you take the piercer feat! now you can re-roll one of the damage dice from your chisel once per turn, and your critical hits deal extra damage!

15. fighter 5: fifth level fighters get nothing! at least they do if you already have an extra attack, and you do!

16. fighter 6: at sixth level you get another asi, so bump up that strength for more hittin!

17. fighter 7: a seventh level psi guy is a telekinetic adept, letting you make a psi-powered leap once per short rest, giving you a flying speed that’s double your walking speed for a turn as a bonus action. i know u already got the fly spell, but sometimes you don’t gotta break out the big guns right away, y’know?

you can also use a telekinetic thrust as part of your psionic strikes, forcing the guy u hit to make a strength save or get pushed around or knocked prone. it’s intelligence based so it’s not great, but it’s free.

18. fighter 8: use your last asi to get tough! ur made outta rock, you’re gonna have a ton o hp. 36 extra hp now, and another 2 hp every time u level up!

19. fighter 9: as a ninth level fighter you’re indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once a day. save it for the stuff you’re good at, you’re probably not gonna wiggle out of that charm effect. unless…

20. fighter 10: as a tenth level psiguy you have a guarded mind, giving you resistance to psychic damage! you can also spend a psidie at the start of your turn to automatically end anything charming or frightening you! yay!

Pros and Cons

Pros:

one of Galatea’s biggest strengths is her Mobility, with the ability to gain some ridiculous bursts of speed to position herself where she’s most needed. combine her kinetic jaunt and a psi-powered leap and you have someone who can fly through enemies and either use her action to dash (for more speed) or attack (also for more speed), all without having to worry about reprisal.

even when she’s grounded, Galatea can have some serious Toughness to keep her in the fight, with almost 200 HP, the ability to bump her AC up to 30, and some spells that grant her resistance against most creatures’ physical attacks. all on top of the whole flying around thing. she’s also got all those psi shields to bolster her already pretty decent HP total, as well as some healing.

and if she wasn’t a pain to kill already, she’s also status resistant, with resistance to being poisoned, effective immunity to charming and frightening effects, an inability to fall asleep, and a decent constitution save to prevent stuff like being stunned and paralyzed, finding any crack in her plaster is hard to do.

Cons:

that is if you’re playing with plate mail. if you want to go the unarmored route she’s got a lot lower AC to work with, so you’ll be getting hit a lot more if you’re not playing keepaway.

while Galatea’s dual wielding helps a little with boosting her AC, it’s easily the weakest part of the build. her bonus action is already taken up by so many other things, and we basically wasted an ASI just to be able to do this. if I can give any advice, please just ignore the second ascension.

we had to fix Galatea’s strength up a lot this build, so we didn’t really touch her soft stats that often. not being smart hurts against illithid, but otherwise it’s whatever. the real pain here is your low charisma, reducing how often you can use flourishes and weakening your spells, and especially your low wisdom. remember, you’re not mind-control-proof until level 20, so it’s really easy for an enemy to turn your semi-invincible ass to the side of evil. still, villains are a lot more aesthetically pleasing…

[fearecia]

@featherymainffins

I read through the comments, and folks have a good point. Gallbladder is a very good thing to check. The other one would be your pancreas. The pancreas is involved in digesting fats AND proteins. A pancreas failing to produce the necessary enzymes for digestion could definitely be pointing to your issues with fat and protein.

The itopride works by messing with the nerve transmitters in your gut. One of the things the body is really good at is adjusting to a consistent dose of a medication such that it's like you're not even taking that med anymore. We see this a lot with hormonal medications and things like ADHD meds. Sometimes it's referred to as building up a tolerance. Ask the doctor if this is something that can happen with itopride, and if it's safe to up your dose to try and offset it. One of the other things to do is to quit taking it for a week or two and then try again, because that should allow your body to reset back to "normal." Not entirely sure that's wise in your case, though. A bowel movement once a week is not a good thing.

Nutrient deficiencies are another option to consider. Given that you're having issues with digesting food, it's entirely possible that your entire system is off balance. First thing I'd do is grab a sports drink and see if that helps jump start things (we're looking for sodium, potassium, and calcium, all of which are essential for nerve and muscle function). The other thing would just be to grab a multivitamin and take it for like a week and see if it helps. If you're having a nutrient problem that is impeding muscle function, it'd be more likely that you'd also be experiencing muscle cramps in various places to go along with it. So, if no cramps, eh, maybe ignore this paragraph. Definitely try Joy's advice about the B2 though.

The mast cell route is another thing worth considering, especially since a lot of this seems to have gotten worse since a surgery. Surgery is hugely disruptive for the immune system, and it can totally go haywire as a result. I'm currently having to do the daily benedryl dance because my top surgery sent my mast cell issues into overdrive. I stopped being able to take several of the meds I was using to control the mast cell problems because my body decided they looked like a good thing to attack.

The one other thing to really look sideways at is scar tissue. You had a hysterectomy, which of course, messes with the gut because of the location. It's possible that your body went overkill on the scar tissue formation and ended up putting adhesions on your gut that is restricting the ability of things to pass through. I'd be especially concerned about this if endometriosis was involved at all. Scar tissue is an unlikely candidate, but it's worth analysing when all other options have been exhausted.

There are also other considerations like Crohn's disease, but I'm not as familiar with those.

On the laxative front, there are teas you can brew that are umm, highly effective. Seriously just walk down the tea aisle at the grocery store and pick one that looks like it will help. Just be prepared for it to take 12 to 24 hours to work, and you might be in the bathroom for a good hour or so once it does work. There's also always the enema route if things are backed up in your large intestine. Definitely buy commercial enemas; do not attempt to make your own. You can seriously, seriously poison/injure yourself if the mix is off. Given your history with laxatives, pursue these options only as you are comfortable doing so. The levels of constipation you are describing are very concerning (like, more than three days usually ends up with folks getting suppositories and doctor's visits and such), but you have a very fine balancing act to do here with your mental health. Only do what you are comfortable/safe to do.

You need a gut doctor (gastroenterologist for the pancreas, gallbladder, and general gut check), an immune doctor (rheumatologist for the Crohn's or other autoimmune issues check), and an allergist (for the mast cells) to help rule all these things out.

I'm not a doctor caveat; I'm just another chronically ill person with a background in the medical field.

Good luck.

Hey! I know that this isn't something you struggle with but since a lot of your other followers are disabled as well, it would mean a lot to me if you could publish this ask since I'd like to see if anyone else experiences anything similar to what I'm going through. I'm not asking for anyone to armchair diagnose me, I'd just appreciate not feeling so alone and scared and confused. My general physician is claiming that my anxiety is causing the issues I'll describe but I call bullshit on that:

About two years ago, cca 4 months after my top surgery, my body stopped being able to process oil. Whenever I'd eat anything that was made with oil of any kind, I'd get cramps in the abdomen after a while and I'd get diarrhea. Caffeine started to do this also but in a smaller intensity. I had a hysterectomy a bit after that and they checked my kidneys and liver so I know that those are both ok and not the cause. I also got checked for Celiac since it runs in the family. Because the issue wasn't getting worse and my then general physician was always dismissive, I let it be. When I wasn't having diarrhea, I was constipated, though I did have a bowel movement like once or twice a week. Fast forward to now. In August, it suddenly got a lot worse. At first, even a single drop of oil would make me feel ill. Then, the time period got longer - currently the cramps and the pain last for 48 hours afterwards. I also became unable to digest animal fats, the only meat I can eat is lean chicken and fish. Afterwards, gluten became an issue (Celiac is still negative), and then nuts as well.

My new GP, even though she believes it to be anxiety, gave me Itopride, and it worked for about 3 weeks - I had no cramps, pain, exhaustion, gas or bloating after eating, and I had a bowel movement once a day. But it stopped working two days ago, again without a reason, and the effects started being less effective about a week ago. Even when taking the meds, I have a movement only once in about 8 days, and laxatives make me gassy but nothing happens. I'm also not sure about this, but it seems that chicken is no longer safe either.

I think it's important that if I don't take Itopride, I never even feel the urge to go, so when I say that I've always been constipated, I mean that I don't even feel the need to have a movement. Lately, when I take Itopride, I do get the urge that I do always get when taking it, but it's like I can't go, so I always feel full.

I just feel super scared and I have no idea what's going on. I admit that I have a history of eating disorders (in recovery since May) and I did abuse laxatives about a year ago, but I don't think it was enough to cause such serious issues? I used to take them like once a week and for about 3-4 months.

I'd really appreciate knowing if anyone has ever experienced anything similar or knows about anything like this because I feel like my life is in shambles - can't go outside for long because I might need the toilet suddenly, or I'm in too much pain to walk, I'm afraid to eat, I often feel repulsive, I don't know what might happen in a month, I am becoming incapable of taking care of myself and my flat because I'm just so goddamn tired.

Ooft, I’m sorry. It sounds like you’ll need a colonoscopy to figure this one out, so if you haven’t had one yet, really push for a referral.

Fwiw, I do experience something like this, but it’s from mast cell inflammation in my GI tract. The doc prescribed me bentyl for when things flare up but I’m also on a fiber supplement (citrucel. It’s a lot gentler than other types) to try and keep that from happening. Also if you’re low on b vitamins, your stomach sometimes stops digesting food, so maybe also ask about getting your levels checked. Taking an additional b2 supplement means I can process fats and oils again which I couldn’t before.

I’m not saying this to be like “this is what you have” just throwing them out there as suggestions that might help you piece together what might be wrong.

I hope you get more helpful comments in the notes 💖

[feral-goblin-24-7]

being immortal

being immortal must suck. Like imagine having to hide the fact that the reason you look late teens-early twenties but have terrible back issues is like, you’re cells just refuse to stop multiplying properly and your spine is still minutely adjusting after falling 10 stories out of a building in New York a couple decades back and you still have normal healing time on that, it just does heal, eventually. Imagine have to see the faces of friends who died over a hundred years ago in your dreams as your ptsd flairs up again. Imagine getting drunk with a history major and admitting you’re an immortal to him, and as he humors you, you go on about the war. He thinks you’re full of it until he realizes when you said “the war” you didn’t mean the Cold War, or either of the world wars, but both of them. Your memories run together a bit, since they took place only one identity apart. In fact you made a “Tom Kelly Jr.”, specifically because the fields in Europe thirsted for more blood, making you question if all the blood you’ve spilt over there over the last few thousand years really meant anything. War in this day and age is easier to hide the fact that you’ve fought in battle before, because people don’t swing swords, axes and spears like they have for the last couple of millennia. Imagine having to go back and get a new degree in a language you already know because of linguistic drift. Imagine the standards for medicine are completely different than they were last time you practiced because of a fringe theory of a crazed person 400 years ago proved true. Imagine technology just baffling you at first but you still look really young so you force yourself to learn it to blend in because you’ve seen what happens when they catch immortals. You really know how Des destinées got its information. You know why the Catholic Church started burning people at the stake, because you can only die when you are completely reduced to ash. Anything less and your cells refuse to die, they just keep dividing, you just keep coming back. You can only see the same faces on strangers so many times, have the weight of so many years weigh on your mind so much, before you snap and loose all sanity. But here’s something humans don’t know. Eventually, the mind will heal. All wounds heal, mental and emotional as well. You can count seven times you’ve lost it all and been reduced to nothing before slowly clawing out of that pit after a century or so. After all, people still fear the wendigo. Sometimes you wake up and forget what era you’re in, sometimes you disassociate so hard you briefly flash back to a different identity, one you haven’t had since you “died” at the vents with the other soldiers in the gap, screams in Greek on the tip of your tongue. How god has an uncanny valley as well and you, a human that cannot die, and him, the being that made humans in his own image and the two differences were immortality and divine power, now watches you like you’re something to creepily close to him. But you remember your life as Icarus, and you do not fly to close to the sun anymore. Not because the heat of the sun melts the wax, but because no matter how strong you are you cannot flap wings long enough and hard enough to fly, and when you have wrought out every once of strength you have and you hit the ocean, still you don’t die. You sit on the bottom of the ocean drowning for years as your body works hard to heal the shattered bones under the pressure of the water. After you walk out of the sea massive changes to the physical characteristics of Poseidon happen and the myth starts to look like you. To many people get suspicious and you have to wander north to the tribes that you wonder if they are still there. You have a strong immune system because you’ve lived for so long, yet your digestive system weakens due to poisoning so many times over the years that you don’t know if you’ll heal up all the way and have to deal with the mild nausea for the rest of your innumerable days…