#alfred insists that kevin be locked up far

[decibly]

Danny: So, here's my prototype for that coffee machine you wanted. This is how you turn on the flamethrower, and this here is the dial to change the kind of fire, and this right next to it controls whether or not the changes are purely cosmetic or if it is actual hellfire, ghostly flames, pure terror given physical form, etc. Just the general standard options, though, I didn't have much time. This button here toggles the AI that will control everything, although I haven't worked out the kinks, so it will try and kill all human life and turn the planet into an empty hellscape in order to worship me. I think I can fix that with less ectoplasm, but I would need to turn it on to do that, so I've been procrastinating. The only part of Kevin that you can safely use right now is the manual here that he's been channelling his murderous energy into that will tell you exactly how to kill anyone else on the planet. Unfortunately, this means that you will have to adjust the sugar setting yourself. Also the coffee has harmless trace amounts of various poisons that you can pick between to slowly build up an immunity if you so choose. It automatically secretes variants of ectoplasm onto this knife here that you can use for self defense, and you can choose which kind depending on how much you want your future victims to suffer. Also it uses magic to tell you exactly what you want at the moment you use it. That also has a few bugs in it, so unless the only thing you want at all in that moment is coffee, it won't tell you what order you should pick, but instead things like "No longer be hunted by your parents that want to vivisect you or at least for said vivisection to be illegal" or "The US government to recognize you as an actual person with human rights or at least something sentient with emotions that is worth more than a comatose ant".

Tim: ... it's perfect.

Everyone else: *what the fuck what on earth oh my god they could kill all of us we're going to die what on earth we need to evacuate*

DP x DC prompt #184

Danny's having trouble with his project. He's currently applying for a college grant from Wayne Enterprises. But thanks to various reasons, Danny's level of engineering skills far surpasses anything you'd see on Earth. So the problem arises from Danny having trouble making something simple and standard for Earth.