#like ok I’ve started with depressed characters before and technically she also was that

[githvyrik]

you ever get to a point of the dnd campaign where it’s completely unreasonable for your character to be anything but horrifically depressed

[ret1cent]

the space between (pt.1)

josh dun x fem reader

WC: 3,000+

“you want me? fuckin’ well come on and find me”

a/n: hey everyone! this is my first fic on here and the first fanfic series i am dedicating myself to ever since a wattpad markiplier x reader fic i wrote in 6th grade LMAO.. so bear with me as i get used to writing consistently again.. just a heads up this fic will have heavy themes for some people so make sure you read the warnings <3 i also think it's worth mentioning that unless made obvious all new characters introduced are purely fictional.

warnings: angst, unhappy relationship, falling out, topics of mental abuse and manipulation, bad work environment, stress and depression, abandonment issues

May 19th, 2016.

“On your right!” I hear the voice of a man coming from behind me.

I whip around, quickly swerving to the left, almost running into the wall of the hallway as a group of camera loaders haul a huge camera, wind rushing past me as they scurry past. I sigh as I look down and see that the sudden maneuver caused the coffee in my hand to splash onto the front of my cardigan. I closed my eyes, as if when I opened them again the overwhelming feeling of frustration building up in my chest would magically dissipate.

I was delivering coffee like an intern and my favorite cardigan is stained, today is going great. I continue down the hall and enter the studio, the overhead lights shining hot and nearly blinding. I stagger through the bustling set, unable to hear my own thoughts from the chaos amongst me. I walk until I find Frank, a big burly guy with dark facial hair who wore the same crusty hat every day. He’s my new boss and the head of our production department who ordered me to bring him a latte. Needless to say it was quite embarrassing to play out an intern movie trope in real life.

“Frank, I have your coffee.” I say, pulling his attention away from the set designers he was closely studying, most likely looking for any excuse to yell at them. He looks over at me in silent annoyance and takes the coffee without a word. I turn to start walking away but then turn back.

“You know I’m not an intern Frank, I’m a production assistant and I’ve been working with the actual equipment for years, you can give me more technical tasks.” I say bravely, trying to hide any obvious anxiety in my voice.

It was true, of course my job title wasn’t the most renowned, but I had become well known and appreciated on sets due to how well versed I was with technology, that of course was until Frank took over.

He looks up at me, as if offended. “Well last time I checked I’m your boss and I don’t give a shit.” He says with a curt laugh. “I think I know what I'm doing I don’t think I need you to be telling me how to do my job.” He says harshly.

“Ok, sorry.” I say with false sincerity, biting my tongue to hold back the many profanities I wished to inflict upon him. As I start walking away, he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Is this fucking whole milk?” He asks in disbelief, stopping me in my tracks.

You’re fucking kidding. I look at him over my shoulder, confused.

“You just said you wanted a latte sir you didn’t clarify anything about the kind of milk.” I say with a thin smile.

“I always have oat milk in my latte you should know this about me!” He says, aggravated and shoving the cup into the hand of a passing intern. “Throw this away.” He demands her and she nods quickly in compliance and then he turns his attention back to me.

“That’s ridiculous I have never gotten you coffee before how am I supposed to know what kind of-! Forget it.” I say turning away to keep walking as I knew that no matter how good of a defense I had, arguing with Frank was like arguing with a brick wall. He was a stubborn bitter man.

“Yeah, if you can’t even get a fucking latte right that’s probably why you’re not working behind the camera.” He says with a crude laugh, and I quickly blink away the hot tears stinging in my eyes. Crying when angry was probably one of my most embarrassing tendencies. I make my way back down the hall, coworkers staring at me with concern after my obviously distasteful interaction with Frank.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

I sat in my car with my head on my steering wheel, still in the parking lot of the set as I tried to regain myself after all the frustrations of the day before I left. I sit up and sigh, putting my car into reverse. It was a quiet drive home, the radio quickly silenced as every song playing only seemed to further my annoyance.

I pull into the driveway of my house, wishing I had other plans to prolong my arrival. The house itself wasn’t the issue, it was in a quiet neighborhood in North Hollywood, it was a humble yet comfortable rental home with a cream-colored exterior, a warm wooden interior, a short red brick staircase with bushes lined up by the entrance.

The issue was my fiancé, Logan. We’ve been dating for 2 years and just got engaged this year. Everything started great until I slowly started to see red flags, him lashing out over minuscule inconveniences, random negative comments about me that he plays off like jokes, and the way he always seems to victimize himself in every argument we have. His family has a history of mental health issues and every time I try to bring it up to him, he gets angry, claiming that he’s a not a “crazy person” whatever that’s supposed to mean, or he claims that it’s my fault he acts the way he does. But we’re engaged and I'm almost 30 and still not married, our families have the expectations of our marriage and he’s not awful all the time. I still love him. But these days it was just difficult to be around him sometimes.

I get out of the car and walk into the house, finding him sitting on the couch drinking a seltzer in the dark, the only light being the glow of the tv. I turn on the living room light and he looks at me with annoyance.

“Hi.” I say curtly, putting my bag on the ground and laying my boots next to it.

“Hey.” He replies, equally as unenthusiastic, taking another long sip of his drink. I looked at the coffee table to see about 5 other abandoned cans. He’s been drinking a lot more than usual recently, he used to barely drink at all. “What’s for dinner tonight?” He asks and I bite the inside of my cheek, frustrated.

“Logan you were supposed to make dinner tonight.” I remind him softly, trying not to lose my temper and start an argument.

“No, it’s your night.” He says in a bored tone, not providing any defense for his accusation and not turning his attention away from the screen.

I knew from the bottom of my heart it was his night, we had assigned tasks for the week. His job today because he gets off work before me was to get groceries and make dinner for us. I don't even bother trying to defend this, knowing it’ll get me nowhere. I walk to the kitchen. Fine, I'll just suck it up and make dinner. I need to be fed one way or another. I opened the fridge to see it was mostly empty besides fruits, drinks and condiments.

“Logan did you not go to the grocery store?” I ask from the kitchen.

“Forgot.” he replies dully.

I feel my eyes burning with tears again and rub them away. Work has been hell today and all I wanted was to sit down in peace and eat a hot meal. I walk into the living room and Logan looks up at me, seeing my fuming expression.

“Why don’t we just order something?” he asks with shrug and annoyed tilt of his head. “I’m hungry and I know you are too.” He says trying to reason with me.

We’re on a budget, rent here is expensive and although we both held decent jobs it still wasn’t enough for constant luxuries beyond rent and groceries. But at this point I'm so exhausted and just want to eat.

“Whatever, just order a pizza, something cheap please.” I beg and walk down the hall to our room that was adorned with house plants and my photography framed on the walls, flopping onto the bed looking up to the ceiling. In moments like these I just can’t help but wonder what I’m doing with my life. Of course I'm lucky to have a job in production, so many people dream of that. But from a young age my real dream has always been photography. But it’s such a competitive industry that I finally just gave up on the idea of it, I needed a job that would sustain me. But at this point with rent going up and my mental health spiraling, even that doesn’t even feel worth it anymore. But I don’t have a choice, the industry is oversaturated right now and I'm lucky to even be holding my current job. I feel my phone start to vibrate besides me and turn it over to see that it’s my friend Kass calling me.

“Hello?”

“Hey dude, you ok? I saw Frank Fuckface was giving you a hard time earlier?” she asks gently.

I laugh softly at her nickname for him. “Yeah, you know Frank, he was just being a dick. Got mad I didn’t get oat milk for his latte when he didn’t even ask me for it.” I say with a scoff.

“Seriously oat milk? That’s a little fruity Franky.” Kass says and I laugh.

“Stop it!” I say and she laughs.

“I’m just saying unless you have an intolerance caring that much about what kind of milk is in your coffee is a little gay!” She says, both of us laughing.

Not that there would be anything wrong with him being gay, but he has not made his far right ideals and obvious homophobia very secret. He’s not the type to be careful about posting his opinions on social media.

“You know you can leave too... right?” Kass asks, turning serious and I sigh. Kass had recently put in her two weeks to leave the company. My work life was now going to be even more miserable without her. She has a new job lined up, but ironically enough it was to be a crew member for a tour of my ex best friend’s immensely successful band. I guess that’s just what happens when your friends have a web of attachments to each other.

“Kass...” I start with a sigh, already knowing where this was going.

“I’m serious (Y/n) I could easily hook you up. Or you could hook yourself up if you would just make up with Josh!” She argues. “Imagine how fun it could be. Us on the road escaping from all this bullshit, helping with these amazing shows! Their music is phenomenal, and you know it.” She points out.

She wasn’t wrong, I was happy for Josh in that aspect, I never had any wishes against his success, him and Tyler worked incredibly hard and deserved all of the success and adoration they got. “Of course I know that, they are talented. But I have a life here now, even if work sucks, I still have a fiancé and I'm getting married in a few months.” I say, hearing my own voice falter at the thought. “Plus, I just can’t be around Josh like that, I’m still hurt by everything.” I say softly.

“I know.” She says gently and there was a momentary silence. “But if you change your mind...” She says playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

“Nooo.” I groan.

“He’s back in LA right now!” She says in a singsong voice.

“KASSSSS!”

“Ok fine, dropping it.” She says laughing. “I just wish I could keep working with my bestie.”

“I know, me too.” I say sadly, my chest suddenly feeling heavy with emotion.

She changes the subject, and we talk for another half hour until she had to go. The happiness from talking to Kass quickly faded when I came back to my dull reality, the house was quiet besides the hum from the ceiling fan and the incoherent voices coming from the Tv in the living room.

Maybe it was crazy, but I couldn't help but feeling a sense of yearning for the life that Kass had described to me. I can imagine it now. Seeing new cities every week, exploring with Kass, being cramped but content in a tour bus with likeminded coworkers, late night gas station runs, bonding with Josh, Tyler and Mark again... My heart stings at the thought.

Josh and I were long term friends. We met in 2010 through a few mutual friends. Ever since that point the rest was history, we spent countless days lounging around each other’s places, going to gigs together, me going to his own band’s gigs, hanging out at each other's work places when things were slow...

We were inseparable. When Josh met Tyler, he quickly introduced me to him. I got along with him effortlessly, we all formed our own little group with the three of us and the boy’s other mutual friends. I helped Tyler and Josh with their creative ventures with the band, me and Mark often acting as their camera crew. I did photography for them and promoted the band around as much as possible. Those were the days. I didn’t know it, but things were just so much simpler, they were fresh, new and exciting. Josh and I fell out of contact in 2013. He had started dating a girl by the name Sophia the previous year. He was head over heels for her and I supported him in every way. He seemed happy with her. Josh even brought her to hang out with the group sometimes. I always tried to make her feel welcome and even create a bond with her, but she just never returned the same energy.

Over time Josh became less and less available to hang out. I understood, he had a girlfriend after all, it was normal for him to want to spend time with her. But it got to a ridiculous point where I finally confronted him about it. I look up at my ceiling reflecting on the memory.

January 12th, 2013.

I sat on a wide leather couch with Josh, his legs sprawled across it while I sat in the corner of it, my head leaning against the wall. Mark and Tyler in the other room filming a video Josh had already completed his part for. It was the first time he and I had been alone together for a prolonged amount of time in months. We had been chatting and laughing about random things, but I finally gained the courage to ask the question that had been pressing me for so long.

“Josh?” I ask softly, my voice holding an air of somberness.

“Yeah?” He lifts his head up, sitting up halfway and bracing himself back with his hands. His expression held slight concern, yet a strange look of expectancy. Like he knew what he was going to hear, or like there was something he wanted me to say.

“Why haven’t we hung out just the two of us in so long?”

His expression falters. “Well, you know with us releasing an album under a label for the first time and being with Sophia I don’t know things have just been... busy" He stutters slightly.

“I know I know.. I understand things have been hectic for you guys, I’ve been seeing it firsthand. It’s just that... It always used to be us... You know?” I let out a shaky breath. I was never good at any kind of confrontation. “I just... miss you man.” I say sadly.

Josh fully sits up, his hands on his knees as he looked at me. “I know I... I miss you too.” He says genuinely yet almost sounding guilty.

There was a silence.

“Can I be honest with you (Y/n)?”

“Of course.” I say, a nervous anticipation swirling in my stomach. I don’t even know what to expect.

“Sophia doesn’t want us to be friends anymore...” He says slowly.

There was a long pause.

“Why?” I ask, a blurry layer over my eyes as they welled up. I had a gut feeling ever since we stopped hanging out that this was probably the situation at hand. I was just hoping it wasn’t true.

“She thinks we’re too close. I-I don’t know she always freaks out about it. She thinks there’s something going on between us.” he says, rubbing his hand over his face.

I scoff. “Well, that’s ridiculous, have you tried to tell her nothing weird is going on? We’re just friends!” I say and he looks down at his shoes at this, not saying anything for a moment. He looks back up at me.

“I’ve told her that so many times she just won't believe me.”

“Well, she should trust you! You’re her boyfriend.”

“I know...”

“So... what do we do?” I ask, looking up at him and he looks to the side, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

“I guess we’ll only be together when we're with the group... That’s what she asked me to do.” He says, avoiding eye contact and I laugh in disbelief.

“What so we’re forbidden from ever hanging out again?” I asked, standing up and wiping the tears that were dangerously close from rolling down my face.

“(Y/n) she's my girlfriend!” He pleads, also standing up.

“What so that means our friendship lost all value? You aren’t even trying to fix this!” I say, slightly raising my voice.

I hear the noise in the other room quiet and a few moments later Tyler and Mark are standing in the doorway, concerned expressions on both of their faces.

“Guys what’s-” Mark start’s but Josh speaks over him.

“I have been I’ve been trying so hard to fix everything, but I don’t know if I can!” Josh says his voice staggering.

I was silent, looking at the pleading expression in his eyes. “Well... I think you’ve made it abundantly clear where your values lie.” I say with my arms folded over my chest while I walk to the door.

“(Y/n) stop!” He pleads.

“Why should I?” I ask plainly, turning around with a humorless laugh.

“You’re my best friend.” He says softly.

“Then fucking prove it.” I say, turning back around and leaving the building.

That was the last time we had spoken.

Tyler and Mark reached out to me occasionally after the fight. They let it be known that their friendship to me still held despite me and Josh’s falling out, but I slowly fell away from their friendship as well. Not that their efforts didn’t go unappreciated by me, but being with them only when Josh wasn’t around would’ve felt wrong, it would have only remind me that everything had changed. So my relationship with Tyler and Mark held in the way a pair of old high school friend’s would, they’d text happy birthday and send holiday wishes, but we all had our own lives to move on with.

Of course me and Josh’s relationship equated to nothing after everything. We weren’t petty enough to unfollow each other on social media or block each others numbers, we just never talked. Josh would try to text me after the fight, apologizing and telling me he missed me. But I was hurt, his actions spoke louder than words. When I never responded he slowly stopped texting. I suspected this was the work of Sophia, or him just realizing it wasn’t getting him anywhere. I just wasn’t going to reply. Maybe this was petty of me, my stubbornness had never been one of my attractive traits.

But when you’ve had so many people who mean anything to you in your life leave, you just learn to let go. Holding on so hard only hurts more. But no matter how hard I tried to block out the pain of Josh’s absence in my life, it always lingered. It felt as if a part on my soul was missing ever since that day. I rub my hands over my face. Is it crazy to feel that way about an old friend?

“(Y/n) the pizzas here!” Logan’s voice shouts, snapping me out of my trance.

I get up slowly. Yes, it was crazy. I have a new life now, and I have to remain present. I can’t stay stuck in the past forever, it’s time to move on.

I walk down the hall, my socks padding against cold wooden floor. He looks at me, holding the pizza box with a smile. I look up and softly smile back.

[staytiny-present]

Ateez Coraline!au

DUDE I’M DONE WITH SCHOOL WHICH MEANS I CAN WRITE MORE YAYYYY!

anyway, this is meant to be a little headcanon thing for a series i’ve been planning that is, obviously, based on the movie coraline. it’ll be a reader insert for you to enjoy as well :) this is basically a “ateez as characters in coraline,” but my plan is to still make them unique to the story. i hope you like this!

warnings: this does not match at all swearing, angsty situations, borderline crack (you’ll see), i think i make one sex joke, allusions to depression - PLEASE take caution when you read yunho’s part. i don’t think i go into any specifics, but his gets serious that i just want you to be aware

Reader’s backstory: you’ve lived with your grandmother who owns the pink palace apartments since you were a teenager so you can help her out as she gets older. the pink palace isn’t the most well-known, but it’s gotten a pretty negative rap since the disappearance of your best friend in high school. it’s hard living there still, but you know your grandma needs the support. you know nearly all of the ins and outs of the place, and all of the tenants adore both you and your grandma

Wooyoung and Yeosang ~ Spink and Forcible

tell me i’m wrong

that’s right you can’t

they’ve been friends for years and bicker and tease each other like they’re married and still love and support each other? yeah

wooyoung and yeosang are childhood friends

they mostly did dance in high school but they were also in theater, and they were kinda well known for being The Best™

they were recruited to join a lot of teams and a lot of colleges wanted them because they were just??? amazing??? how tf??

so yeah they earned a lot of recognition in high school that honestly got them really famous from when they were 16 onward

it’s been a few years since then and so the hype around them has definitely died down but we’ll get to that

they are currently still working on stuff in regards to dancing and acting

they’re technically in college too, but they do online classes so they can stay at home and work on their shows

wooyoung is the idealist while yeosang is the realist

like i said, they act like an old married couple always bickering and fighting but they really do love each other

ride or die best friends dude

it’s just that they say they’ll do certain things or are planning things soon and it just… doesn’t happen

that’s mostly idealist woo talking before yeosang can reign him in

so for years it’s been a lot of empty promises of new work that many people just stopped expecting things from them

and because of that they’ve past their peak and are basically just in limbo before they are actually able to make/perform their next show or something like that 

they rent the basement apartment of the pink palace, and they’ve technically lived in there the longest actually

growing up, both of their families lived there so that was how they met and became the best of friends :)

they didn’t want to leave either but they had to for a couple years

but at least they stayed together :)

their families moved back when the boys were about a year into high school just because the old woman who owns the place is a gem and the city had a great school for them to go to

while they were living there though a boy around their age went missing, and it basically convinced their families that they should move out

wooyoung and yeosang were very adamant about staying, so their families told them you’re either moving away with us or finding a way to pay for the apartment yourselves

so the next day wooyoung and yeosang went out and found themselves some jobs so that they could

it upset their parents sure, but they were also kinda proud that they took so much initiative about this - they knew they would succeed in life

it also factored into why grandma let them stay because she knew the same thing

the sweet woman even said she would help them out from time to time :(

then cue the next 3-4 years where woo and yeo are making a bunch of money with their dances teams and performing in shows 

they’ve gotten a good amount of money over the years that they’ve been able to renovate the basement so that it’s really nice

now they have posters of their “golden years” (as wooyoung says) from high school and their first years of college all around their place

they have a dog and have been seriously considering getting more because he’s getting kind of old :( 

they don’t really get out much bc they are constantly trying to plan and work on their shows, but it’s fine because there’s nothing really close to the pink palace :/ the closest city where they went to school is quite the commute

but because of all this - the empty promises, the lack of activity, the radio silence - no one really takes them seriously anymore, and really people just stopped believing in them

it’s a major factor in their motivation and work ethic, but they try their hardest not to let it deter them from what they want to do in life

Mingi, San, and Jongho ~ The Amazing Bobinsky

trust me here ok?

mingi, san, and jongho start their own circus right out of high school

hear me out

the boys all went to high school together, but jongho is a year younger than them so they all graduated at different times

however they had a lot of classes together because they didn’t really care much about school and it reflected on their academics

so they were put in a lot of lower classes together that they all did well in, they just didn’t care about school

their circus started out as a joke honestly

it was probably edgy teen jongho who was like “ugh i hate school i should just drop out and join the circus”

and it became a running joke between them like haha yeah let’s join the circus, who would we all be tho?

mingi and san were both very adamant that jongho would be the strongman what with all his fruit breaking endeavors and the buff buff arms dude

san did martial arts and liked dancing and was very flexible so he was like ayy i’ll be the acrobat

it took them a while to decide what mingi would be because they were like “huh well what about the lion tamer?” “you know how much of a fraidy cat he is?” “ok well what about a trapeze artist?” “he’s a great dancer and flexible sure, but would he ever be able to have that kind of coordination?” “ok fine then what about a clown?” “fuck you guys”

they chose sword swallower mostly because like??? how does it work?? idk mingi should find out 

and yeah for a while it was a running joke between all of them like yeah we’re gonna drop out of school and join the circus lol

but then come mingi and san’s senior year and they were like… hang on

could… could we actually do this? it sounds fun as hell

it went as far as them all researching circuses in their spare time and income and how to go about joining one

and it ended with them not wanting to live the lifestyle of a traveling circus 

sure it sounded cool as fuck, but while they were somewhat willing to live with those conditions, they weren’t willing enough

so the next best thing for them would be to start their own circus

of course, how do you tell your parents that what you want to be when you grow up is a circus performer?

the answer: you don’t 

whenever they were asked things likes “oh what do you want to do in college?” they all just kinda passed it off as they didn’t know, but in reality they didn’t really have any desire to go to college

you don’t need a degree to start a circus, so they didn’t really want to

once mingi and san graduated, they immediately started looking for affordable apartments where they could do their thing - start their circus

in all honesty they started looking before they graduated too, partially since they would be moving out after hs but also because they just felt better about not living with their parents 

they had seen the pink palace in the newspaper a lot with a vacant attic apartment, and basically since they found out about it they were sold on it

a weird place in the middle of nowhere run by a woman who doesn’t mind housing younger people? perfect

they actually met her before they graduated so they could see about renting the apartment sooner or later

grandma all but told them it was there’s once she met the boys, and she understands that when they are finally able to start living there they will be pretty tight on money, so she doesn’t even make them pay the down payment - she does that herself and holds the apartment for them

because let’s face it: the pink palace isn’t very big,, it already has a good amount of people living there,,, how many people are actually gonna consider moving to the middle of nowhere to actually live there?

plus she likes these three boys, so she wants to help them as much as she can

so yeah once mingi and san graduate, they are basically ready to move into the pink palace

but this is technically after that boy went missing and after the case turned cold, so grandma doesn’t want to rent to anyone new

but she already assured the boys that the attic was theirs, and she’s not about to break that promise

so before giving the boys the keys she gives them the lowdown of what’s been going on and what will happen in the future

they know the boy went missing, but she explains to them all that happened and that it gives the pink palace a bad rap (even though she hardly cares about that), so she wouldn’t normally be doing something like this but they will be the last people she lets rent from her

and they don’t completely understand because they have no idea what this has been doing to the poor old woman, but they understand enough and are grateful for her that she’s still letting them live there

they decide then that it would be better for jongho to start living with them now even before he’s graduated just so it’s less of a change for grandma in the future

which jongho is totally okay with because he honestly would rather live with them anyway

but uh yeah mingi, san, and jongho are the last ones to start renting at the pink palace for a long while

they split rent three ways so that it’s less burdensome on them, and they all have jobs so that they can afford it

mingi and san work full time while jongho has a part time job while he finishes school

but full time they are all preparing and planning their circus!!

takes a lot of throat training for mingi 😏 since he is literally putting swords down his throat, and he started this basically right when they decided their circus was going to be real

san and jongho have advantages because they already have some skill in their areas, but that doesn’t mean they don’t train

san still takes martial arts and dance, and he’s even signed up for gymnastics to help him with his flexibility

jongho basically spends all of his spare times working out (mostly lifting weights) so that he can really be strong

but also jongho has a thing for rats/mice and is like “hey,, why don’t we use them for something so that it’s not just us?”

and the boys lowkey are like wtf dude why but then again who are they to shut down his ideas when they are literally starting a circus?

so they’re like fine but that’s on you to decide how to do that and to plan the act

jongho: yessss ratssss

also jongho: NO they’re not RATS they’re MICE these are MICE THANK YOU

this is the “jumping mice” aspect of the coraline movie with bobinsky just fyi

a lot of jongho’s time in school is spent in the science and psychology departments talking to teachers about animals (specifically rats/mice) and how to train and work with them

the teachers are all kinda like… what? but also they are just happy that jongho is interested in something enough to come to the teachers and ask questions and apply himself

lmao it’s not for school tho

so he learns a lot of this information at school and honestly this might be the only thing he learns at school because soon enough he’s graduating with a bunch of knowledge on how to work with and train animals

once out of high school he starts working full time too so that money and rent is even easier

all of their extra money that isn’t toward rent and bills and groceries go to their circus

they hardly ever buy new clothes unless it’s something for their circus

also the boys had to go to grandma to ask if they could house mice in their apartment, and while it was a hard no (unless they were trained and wouldn’t cause trouble), jongho still smuggled them in

grandma knows about it too (bc she knows everything that goes on for the most part lmao) but she doesn’t say anything because they don’t cause trouble and she likes the boys

the day one of them gets loose and starts terrorizing and infesting the pink palace is the day she intervenes and tells them to get rid of them

but jongho is actually really good at training the mice so it’s fine

my point surrounding all of this is to say that mingi, san, and jongho are in the long and arduous stage of their lives and their circus of planning and preparing everything

they only make so much money and have so many resources that setting up their circus and doing everything to prepare is going to take a long time before they can actually open and show people what they’ve been working on

they’ve been doing it for a few years now and they’ve still hardly made a dent

they have to train and perfect their acts sure, but they also have to do all of the logistical stuff like advertising, selling tickets, finding venues, paying for safety and legal stuff, etc.

and these boys are only in their early 20s, so it’s gonna take a while before they can actually open their circus

but they are determined and passionate, so if this is what they have to do then they will happily do it

Yunho ~ The Ghost Children

oh god this is gonna start getting serious i’m sorry

in case you can’t tell, yunho is the boy that goes missing from the pink palace

he and his family lived in the pink palace from when he was pretty young until he was in high school

he was also really good friends with wooyoung and yeosang because they were all the same age

however he was... not happy

he always worked his ass off dancing because that’s what he wanted to do, but it meant his grades in school tanked

this would obviously be worrying to some parents, and his gave him an ultimatum

either get your grades up and start taking school seriously, or you’re not going to be allowed to continue your dance lessons

the answer was clear to yunho, so he told his dance teacher that he would be taking a break for a bit so he can focus on school

everything was fine until he realized his parents had zero intentions of letting him go back anyway

he didn’t understand,, his grades were getting better so why couldn’t he go back?

to put it plainly, his parents said this:

“what kind of career could you make out of dance? you’ll never succeed”

it was crushing

it was then that yunho realized that his own parents didn’t care about what he wanted and was passionate about

he didn’t think they ever would either, so he just sort of... stopped believing in them

it wasn’t all bad because he had his closest friends and grandma (who treated him like her own grandson)

but he had some pretty bad days that made the happy and energetic boy almost completely unrecognizable

he would look at wooyoung and yeosang and see how successful they were despite still being in school

he would see how their talent was rightfully recognized and sought after

and he would get down on himself, thinking how he wanted the same thing but fearing no one would see him

that’s why he worked hard at everything he did, why his motivation plummeted, and why he nearly wore himself out before even graduating

but one day he started acting strange

everyone noticed how a switch seemed to flip in him

that excited glimmer was back in his eyes, and no one knew why

don’t get me wrong, everyone was so happy to see the smiley yunho was back, but everyone wanted to know what happened

but he hardly made any sense when he told them

he supposedly found a place in the pink palace where he could do what he wanted, but whenever he tried showing anyone he couldn’t? the door was bricked up

everyone started thinking he made it up, that the stress was finally getting to him and he dreamt up a place like this so he wouldn’t lose his mind

that glimmer was gone again, and he stopped trying to talk to people

in fact, he closed himself off from everyone 

the day he went missing was the scariest day for everyone in the pink palace

everyone was devastated, but it completely changed his parents

grandma advised them to move out while the police investigated, but they refused despite how hard it was

but after a year the case became cold

no one could find yunho nor could anyone figure out what happened to him

he just disappeared without a trace

his parents still tried to stay though because they needed to find out what happened to their son

but they couldn’t. no one could

it wasn’t long before they too found it best that they move out of the pink palace

it was just too painful

that was the last time grandma ever rented to anyone new, so the apartment became completely vacant for years

even after they left, no one was able to figure out what happened to yunho

Seonghwa ~ The Black Cat

geomeun goyangi nero nero nero

uhhhh yeah seonghwa’s a cat lmao

he’s not owned by anyone and doesn’t have a collar or anything

he’s a stray that has been around for a while

he showed up pretty soon after yunho started distancing himself from people, but not soon enough for people to think that he’s an omen or something

and he’s not exactly

idk really how to explain it so i won’t lmao

he just sort of became the pink palace’s cat???

grandma takes responsibility for him though and makes sure he’s fed and has a place to rest and play if he ever feels like it

which is nice and all but he doesn’t?? do any of those things?

he comes and goes a lot sure,,, no one really knows where he goes but they know he’ll be back

but when he hangs out around the pink palace? he just... wanders?

it’s hard to explain but it’s almost like he is surveying the domain, like he’s searching for something wrong

he’s a weird cat

not only that though, but he doesn’t eat? or sleep? at all???

at least no one ever sees him sleeping or eating

he’s always getting into shit tho, like he’s always there when you don’t want him to be

there have been many times wooyoung has kicked him out of the apartment because the dogs hate him

mingi and san also try to keep him out because of jongho and his rats mice, but honestly jongho is pretty cool with him

because he doesn’t do anything to the mice? he literally just sits there and watches with wide and curious eyes

sure jongho worries about hwa one day stealing one of his mice for grandma to see so that she can make him get rid of them or kick them out but that’s not going to happen right?

hwa is chill tho, so jongho is chill

the cat would follow yunho around a lot, and a lot of times they were seen curled up together

yunho would be taking a nap the poor boy but hwa wouldn’t

he would just be there to comfort him :(

honestly he liked yunho and his best friend the most and everyone could tell jongho was a close second tho

they all came to start calling him mars instead of The Cat™ since they didn’t know his name

they still call him The Cat™ when he pisses them off but i digress

despite how fucking weird he is though, everyone at the pink palace basically loves him

he’s just Their Cat™ ok?

sure he might be annoying and shifty, or he might be haunted, or he might even be immortal

he’s a really weird cat dude

but he’s part of the family,, they gotta love him

Hongjoong ~ Coraline

curtesy of inception era hongjoong 

so joong is our main man here

at first he had no relation to the pink palace whatsoever,, he had never even heard of it

he lived with a friend in a fairly large city before and it was fine and all but WOW was it expensive

and it was honestly very stifling to hongjoong,,, he couldn’t really do everything he wanted to do there

he found the pink palace by accident

he was searching up affordable apartments to live in places that have good weather and conditions for gardening

let me explain though

hongjoong is in his downward stretch of college for a journalism degree, but he’s taking online classes with his move so that he can focus on that and working

he wants to work in gardening and writing, but he also really just wants to make stuff

his realistic plan is to work in journalism and write for like a gardening magazine or journal while gardening as a “side project” or something (like coraline’s parents do)

did somebody say florist joong? because i did

the dream job though would be to work in song writing or fashion or something artistic like that

he likes painting and making/customizing clothes so he would like to be able to make a career out of that

his goal is to eventually make his own business or store where he makes and sells affordable and sustainable clothes and accessories

he’s going for a degree in journalism with a minor in business, but he has been struggling with both so he has been debating dropping business

arguably it would be better for him to stick with business but most people in his life have told him he’s better in journalism and so he keeps at that mostly 

he feels unfulfilled - he wants to plant a garden, he wants to make and alter clothes customly, he wants to make music

but he isn’t able to do any of that because what are the odds any of that ends up working as a career? 

it might work for a little while but in the future he would technically be a small business, and maintaining a small business is difficult

at least with writing and working for a magazine/journal is stable

however it’s not what he’s most passionate about, thus he finds it hard to have motivation to work

he feels like a zombie going through his days the same as the last, just trying to get through school before he gets a 9-5 job that he’ll hate within a year (if that) doing something he doesn’t want to do

but hey, that’s adult life, isn’t it? 

he doesn’t like to complain and feels guilty when he is ungrateful for his circumstances because he knows plenty of people (his parents included) that went down this route who ended up fine, which means he will too

the one person who always told him to go after what he wanted was his mom even though she technically “settled” in life

holy shit did i digress

but yeah in his search for an affordable place to live with good weather, there wasn’t a lot 

but he also wanted a drastic change from what he was used to, and that was the pink palace

it was practically in the middle of nowhere, and the pictures (while pretty dull) showed potential for a great garden

it was perfect

however

it was a hard no from grandma when he called about possibly renting, so he wasn’t expecting her to call him back at all

grandma didn’t want to risk anything because of what happened with yunho

but with some convincing, she realized that she couldn’t keep holding on

while what happened was horrible, there was nothing that could be done as sad as it was

so she called hongjoong back about when the best time to come look at the pink palace would be

and the rest is history

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Ch 5: Ad Nauseam

Chapter Summary: It’s Mary’s first day at school, and it doesn’t go according to plan… Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: So from here on in we dive into the GIFTED main story line so this contains SPOILERS for the film. If you haven’t seen it please be aware of that before you read on. As a Lawyer I know how long the types of cases depicted in GIFTED can take, so for that reason I’ll be spreading the storyline over a number of Months, because I find that realistic and it also fits with how I want the story to go so…just roll with it!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 4

September 2017

“Hey! Come on.” Frank sighed, knocking on the door that led into his bedroom where Mary was getting changed “Come on let’s move”.

“No” came the sullen reply

“Let me see.” he said a little more gently.

“No.”

“Come on, I made you a special breakfast.” Frank tried.

“You can't cook.” Mary replied, a snort in her voice. With a deep sigh Frank decided enough was enough.

“Hey, Mary, open up.” his voice was sterner and a few seconds later the door opened and Mary looked up at him. She was dressed in her new red summer dress with a white collar and blue and white flowers patterned all over it. She wore a filthy scowl on her face which Frank was trying really hard not to laugh at.

“You look beautiful.” he told her.

“I look like Disney character.” She seethed as she stormed past him. Frank watched her pass as the door to the room shut, gave a sigh and then followed her to the kitchen. She sat at the table, pulling the bowl of cereal to her as Frank set about making her lunch.

“Where's the special?” Mary suddenly said.

“What?” Frank asked, reaching up for a piece of kitchen roll to wipe a knife clean.

“You said you made me special breakfast.”

Frank leaned over and with his left hand turned the box of Special K round so Mary could see it. She rolled her eyes and made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl. Frank ignored her until she spoke again, her voice pleading.

“Please, don't make me go. You can keep home schooling me.”

“I've taught you everything I know” Frank replied, smearing peanut butter onto the bread in front of him.

“But I don't want to go.”

“Well... I don't want to go to work, but I do.” Frank shrugged as he fixed the sandwich together and reached for a zip-press bag to place it in.

“You don't go to work. You fix boats on the dock.”

“Okay, it's poor example.” he said, pulling the top of the bag open. “But you are still going.”

“But what about Fred?” Mary asked as Frank shimmied the sandwich into the bag and sealed it

“What about him?” Frank sighed

“You won't take care of him. You don't like cats.”

Well, she had him there. He really didn’t like cats. But Frank was ok. Frank wasn’t really a cat, he was more of a dog…

“I don't like two-eyed cats” Frank shrugged in reply “Fred is as you know, monocular.”

“Who's gonna throw him his ping pong ball?” Mary tried again.

“Fred's gonna be fine, no more argument, okay?” Frank sighed, looking at her as he pulled another sandwich bag from the box for his own. “We've discussed this ad nauseam.”

“What's an nauseam?” Mary frowned.

“You don't know?” Frank turned to look at her, leaning against the kitchen unit. “Looks like someone needs school.” Mary looked at him, an utterly filthy scowl on her face and he stared back. She sighed and turned back to her breakfast, hand propping her face up as her elbow rest on the table. Frank stood watching her whilst he threw some bread in the toaster. He felt bad, he really did but this was for the best. She needed to be normal. He felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket and, wiping his hands on his dirty work jeans, he pulled it out, smiling as he read the text from Fliss.

“Good luck with the whole School thing this morning. If she kicks off tell her no riding lesson on Saturday. Give me a call or swing by if you need me xx”

“I don’t need good luck I need a miracle, and a drink. Is 8am on a Monday too early for a beer?” he replied.

“Well, it’s afternoon somewhere in the world Sailor ;-) “

Gave a chuckle as he put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Mary who was watching him, a knowing look on her face.

“What?”

“I know that was Fliss.” she said.

“How?”

“Because you’re smiling, the way you always do when she messages you.” “Well we’re friends…we like talking to one another. Something you might understand after you make some at school.” She scowled at him again and he ignored her, shoving the last bit of his breakfast into his mouth before he looked at the clock.

“Finish up, it’s nearly time to go.”

With a grumble Mary ate another mouthful before she slid off her chair. Frank packed her lunch into her rucksack before he handed it to her. With another scowl she place her arms through the straps and then together they walked out of their home.

“Just remember that today, those kids in your class, they’ve probably haven’t learnt even half as much as you.” Frank said, looking at her as they walked down the path. “So try not to show off ok?” “I can’t even use what I do know?” “No I’m not saying that, just, don’t make it so obvious ok? It will make people ask questions about why you know so many things and...” “AM I not supposed to know them?”

“Honestly, no, you’re seven.” Frank shrugged. “But you’re smart, you know this.”

She remained quiet for a second before she sighed “Ok, I promise I won’t show off.”

They reach the end of the path and then walked across the grassy area between two of the other prefabs just in time for the bus to pull to a stop.

Frank watched Mary as she stood looking at it as the doors swung open.

“This is gonna be fun.” He said, watching the back of her head “You're gonna meet kids today that you’re gonna borrow money from for the rest of your life.”

She didn’t reply

“Come on.” he urged gently, gesturing her forward with his right arm, his tone somewhat softer. He watched her climb up the staps, his hands falling to his hips as he tried to think of something encouraging to say. “You’re gonna be great.”

She paused and looked back at him, her expression soft.

“You know, just...” He gave her a thumbs up, “I don't know. Try bein' a kid.”

Mary looked down as the school bus doors shut and Frank sighed. He watched her take a seat as the bus pulled off and then turned to head back to the house. He was running through his day in his head, he had a boat he needed to have a look at but didn’t think it was a major fix, few parts that type of thing. He could swing by Sandybrook later on, maybe, see if Fliss was free for an hour for lunch…

There was a rapping on a window and he stopped dead at the end of the path looking up. His eyes locking with Roberta’s as she gazed at him from out of her window. With a sigh of frustration he turned to his left and continued back towards his home another way.

“Frank! Frank, I know you hear me.” He let out an inward groan as he rolled his eyes, ignoring her completely. He walked in the door to his kitchen, shut it and then snapped the lock across to make a point. The point being ‘piss off and leave me alone’. He knew that making the point was, however, pointless because she’d just fucking unlock the door and walk in anyway. Like she always did. He grabbed the toast that had popped up whilst he had been out and threw it on a plate.

“Frank!” There was a juggle of the door handle and he turned to look at Roberta as she pulled out a set of keys.

Ignoring her completely he grabbed a mug and poured some coffee into it.

“There's still time for you to undo this nonsense. Go get in your car and go get that child.”

“Are you technically allowed to use these keys whenever you want?” He said to her, a little sarcastically as he passed her the mug. She took it from him

“How you can stand there...acting all calm and all of that making light out of this?” she asked as he took a bit of his toast “Now, go get her back before it's too late.”

“She gotta go out in the world.” Frank said as he began to tidy up the kitchen, placing the breakfast and lunch making items away “She has no friend her age, no social skills. She doesn’t know how to be a kid.”

Roberta merely watched him as he sighed and turned to face her, leaning his hip against the counter. “Two nights ago she told me that even if Germany bails out the Euro, there could still be worldwide depression.” He shook his head “I was staring at the celling for three hours.” he finished softly

Roberta wrinkled her nose a little and looked down at the floor as she shook her head softly. “I'm so worried.” she said gently, her voice cracking and it was then that Frank noticed her eyes were filling with tears. He knew she cared for Mary, she cared for him too even if she showed that less. And he got it, he did, he got exactly what she was worried about because hell, he felt the same. If people spotted Mary’s potential and then started digging it was going to cause a whole heap of ramifications. But he had to balance out the need to keep her ‘talents’ hidden and for her to have a normal life. He saw so many parallels between Mary and Diane, and frankly it scared the shit out of him. His mother had been overbearing, insisted that they were both home schooled, but when their Father had died Frank had rebelled. He’d gone out, fallen in with a  BMX riding, trouble making crowd (well, as much trouble as eight year olds could make…toilet papering houses, throwing stones at cars, that type of thing) basically stuck the middle finger up at his mother who had in the end conceded and he’d gone to school. But Diane…well, she’d been smothered and grown up so isolated with no social skills.

No, he wasn’t, he couldn’t let that happen to Mary.

He let out a sigh “Come on, Roberta. If you start crying, I will have to pretend to start crying.”

He watched as she nodded sadly.

“Hey.”

She looked up at him as he spoke.

“You know there's something you could be overlookin’.” he smiled “This could work out.”

“Maybe.” she agreed, with a slight nod and a smile “But if anybody takes that baby away...I'll smother you in yo sleep.” she warned him, her southern accent becoming stronger as she issued the threat “Morning, Fred.” she said to the cat who was led on the table. His tail swished as she rather viciously grabbed at her keys before she left the house.

With his fucking mug.

The sun was already warm and it wasn’t even 9 when Frank reached the dock, the rays bouncing off the crystal blue surface of the water. As he walked he applied a slight smearing of sunscreen to his neck, he knew that bore the brunt of the sun when he was outside and not in the lock up. Fliss had commented it on it the other day, and he had admitted  to her that when he’d gotten out of the shower the other day he noticed he was definitely sporting some amusing tan lines, both round the collar of his T-shirts and where the arms finished. It was always the same thought. Fliss had laughed, rolled up her sleeves to show him the same and pointed out it was why she spent as much time as she could on her days off by the pool trying to even it out.

Lying by the pool on a day off… Frank mused to himself, now there was a thought.

Whilst his mind was on Fliss, he pulled his phone out and dialed her number.

“Hey Frankie boy.” she greeted him “Did you manage to get her on the bus without a gun or…” Frank chuckled “It was surprisingly less trouble than I thought but…”

“You’re doing the right thing.” she assured him, and he had to smile at the fact she knew what he was pondering.

“Roberta doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Yeah, well, she’s worried but that doesn’t make her right.” Fliss said “Look, Mary is a kid. She needs to just, oh I dunno, live like a kid. You’ve done the right thing for both of you, Frank.”

“Thanks Fliss.” he smiled to himself “Think I just needed to hear that.” “Any time, look I gotta go, my 9 am is here.” “Ok, well, I thought if the invite was open I could swing by at lunch. I’ll grab us a sandwich on the way?”

“Sounds great.” Fliss said, “Just message me later.” “Sure, have a good morning Cowgirl.” She laughed “You too Sailor.”

He tucked the phone back in his pocketed and continued to head down the gangway, nodding to a few people before he hopped onto the white speed-boat he was working on, pulling the dust cover off the stripped down engine.

**** Two hours. It was a whole two hours before he got a phone call telling him to head into the school. He strode back to the house, quickly washed his hands and threw on a blue and red plaid button down over his grubby white t-shirt before he headed to go get the pain-in-the-ass.

After a number of apologies, Frank walked out of the Principal’s office with a groan. Mary skipped ahead of him, examining something in a cabinet but he placed his hand on her head and turned it in the direction she needed to walk. He pushed open the double doors, letting her go in front of him.

One hand between her shoulder he steered her away from the entrance to the school and was fishing in his pocket for his keys when he heard a voice behind him.

“Excuse me?”

He turned to see a slim, quite pretty brunette in a green and white dress hurrying towards him.

“Hi.” she said, raising her hand in greeting.

“Look it's my teacher.” Mary rolled her eyes as Frank slowed down.  “Probably wants to remind me what one plus one is.”

“Go to the car, okay?” he said, gently guiding her away with his hand.

“Hi” he repeated

“Hi.” Frank replied, removing his glasses and taking her extended hand in greeting.

“Sorry to yell at you and then chase you down.” she apologised.

“It's okay. Mary's teacher?” he asked, releasing her hand.

“Yes. I'm Bonnie Stevenson”

“Frank. How are you?” he said, and then before giving her chance to apologise he sighed “Sorry about today. She got little overexcited.” he gestured to the car as Mary climbed in “It's just first day jitters.”

“Sure, yeah.” Bonnie nodded, turning to look at Mary

“We are running a little bit late actually, so we gotta get going.” Frank said, late for what he had no idea, he hadn’t made that bit up yet.

“Okay, I don't even wanna talk about that.” Bonnie shook her head “I will keep you just a minute”

“Okay.”

“I think your daughter...I think Mary might be gifted.”

Shit.

“What?” Frank feigned surprise, quite well too so it seemed.

“Yeah, today in math, she answered some really, really complicated equations and…”

“Oh, no, no, no…” Frank held his hand out to stop her as she was gesticulating fastly with her own as she continued to speak. “No, that's...it's not gifted.”

“difficult questions that a seven year old would...”

“It's Trachtenberg.” Frank cut her off easily, he could deflect this.

“I’m sorry…” Bonnie laughed, folding her arms, looking at him, puzzled.

“Jakow Trachtenberg.” Frank nodded. “Spent seven years in a concentration camp. Developed a system to rapidly solve problems.” he gestured with the hand holding his keys “It's the Trachtenberg method.”

“But she’s…I mean...she's seven though.” Bonnie said, smiling slightly, her tone still surprised.

“I learned it when I was eight.” he said, smiling “Do I look gifted to you?”

Bonnie looked him up and down and dropped her head, smiling.

“It kinda went out of note since the invention of the calculator.” Frank continued, backing away from her as he spoke, “But I can still win a drink at the bar using it.” he smiled, opening his sunglasses out. “Sorry for today. Won't happen again.”

“Okay.” Bonnie nodded as Frank slid on his shades.

“Nice to meet you…Bonnie.” he said, remembering her name.

“Frank.” Bonnie nodded again.

He drove them home in silence. His only words being an instruction for her to go change into something suitable for an afternoon at the docks before he stepped into the kitchen and remembered his lunch arrangements. With a curse he pulled his phone out and gave Fliss a quick call.

**** Fliss’ morning had been fairly busy as well. She’d given two private lessons, worked one of her horses, mucked half the block out as it was a Monday, which meant that Ellis had the day off so she mucked in, and was now going through the bookings for the week. She’d been inundated this week with requests that she couldn’t accommodate, but was contemplating putting another lesson on to satisfy the demand. Bill had told her not to be stupid, she was already teaching 6 days a week and needed to let her staff shoulder some of the responsibility before she burnt out.

“Joanne?” she called. Joanna walked in and looked at Fliss.

“How do you fancy over for me completely on a Sunday?” she asked.

“Me?” Joanne frowned.

“Yeah.” Fliss nodded “You open up, close and can run a couple of Classes. You have your teaching qualifications. I can supervise the first two weeks or so and if you’re happy after that then you can take the day completely, take 20% of the earnings as an extra. What do you say?”

“Fliss, I’d, well, I don’t know what to say!” Joanne grinned “Yeah, yeah I’d love to!”

“Good.” Fliss smiled “There’s a list of clients here, you can call back after lunch and offer them a time slot to suit you on Sunday, have a think about a lesson plan for groups and then…” “Thanks Fliss. “ Joanne smiled “This means a lot.” “You’ve earned it.” Fliss smiled “You’ve been a perfect head groom these last 6 months. Keep going and…well, we’ll see where we end up!”

Joanne beamed and nodded, heading back out onto the yard.

Fliss took a deep breath. She had spent so much of her life not in control of her career or home life, doing as she was told by John, when she was told to do it or suffer the consequences of a beating, that she had gone the complete opposite way when she had taken grasp of her own life. Her business was run by her with military precision. Bill did the books for her, but other than that she arranged everything. She was a control freak, she knew that so stepping away 1 day a week might seem like a little step to other people but to her it was a huge one. Bill had reminded her the other night that the idea had been that eventually Fliss would have a manager running the place for her which meant she could turn up to provided lessons and ride when needed. She was a long way off that yet though, but this one day off was a little progress.

Her phone started ringing and she reached over to pick it up, smiling when she saw the number.

“Two calls before noon!” Fliss grinned “I’m honoured”

“Unfortunately I’m calling to cancel lunch.” Frank sighed.

Fliss was surprised she felt disappointed. “Oh, it’s no issue.” She said, pulling a face. “Is everything alright.

“No.” he replied bluntly.

“Mary?”

“How did you guess?” he gave a low chuckle.

“She’s normally your source of your trouble. What has she done?”

“Apparently she stood up in class, and shouted at the principal to, and I quote ‘get on your phone and call Frank and tell him to get me out of here.’ I mean…”

Fliss bit back a laugh. It shouldn’t be funny, but she could picture Mary’s angry face and her arms folded across her chest. Despite her best attempts an amused snort escaped her.

“It’s not funny.” Frank deadpanned

“I know, I’m sorry but…“ Fliss cleared he throat, forcing herself to become serious.

“You now I wasn’t a perfect kid but I’m pretty sure I never got thrown out before lunchtime on my first day.” Frank sighed.

“She’s not been thrown out…just told to go home early” Fliss countered

“Well I brushed it off as first day excitement but the teacher was digging into how smart she is and…”

“Look, try not to worry.” Fliss soothed, sensing the tone of panic in his voice “Just try talking to Mary You always get the best out of her when you explain things to her.”

“Yeah, look, I better go…I need to get back to the boat yard.”

“No problem. Take care, and, just…well, listen to her Frank.”

“Yeah, bye Fliss.”

Fliss placed her phone down on her desk, and bit her lip. The morning had started off reasonably well too. She knew Frank well enough now to know that his frustration with Mary was born out of simply wanting the absolute best for her, and he was completely focused on making that happen even if Mary was not happy about it.

Fliss tapped her nails absentmindedly on the desk, trying to think of ways she could help. But other than talk to Mary, as she had encouraged Frank to do, she was stumped.

Nope, Fliss didn’t envy Frank one bit.

*****

“For the record, I didn't wanna go to the stupid school in the first place.”  Mary rambled on as she perched on a cool box, blue sun hat perched on her face as Frank finally finished his work on the engine, screwing the cover back on “And the boy in the front row acts inappropriately for someone who's a child.”

“Sorry. I'm still passively aggressively ignoring you.” he said without looking up.

“Other kids answer questions, they don't get in trouble.” Mary continued to protest.

“You didn't get in trouble for answering the questions.” Frank looked at her, still turning the screw driver, his voice taking on a tone of exasperation. “You yelled at the principal.”

Mary looked at him, shrugging.

“All right, you know what? You're gonna find this interesting.” he said, stepping back slightly, tossing the screwdriver onto one of the seats as he made his way to the cockpit of the boat “So I googled" first graders who yelled at the principal". And statistically you will never believe how many kids do it.”

He started working his way through the checks as Mary answered

“How many?”

“None.” he shot back over his shoulder as he fired up the boat, revving it slightly. He heard Mary’s footsteps as she ran down the side of the boat and stopped.

“Frank, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.” she said leaning over the edge to look at him.

“Yeah, right.” he said, shaking his head before he turned to look at her “You can't show off like that in school.”

“I know.”

“You promised you wouldn't then the first day...”

“I know, I screwed up.”

Frank looked at her, he could see she was genuinely contrite. Her head was dropped slightly. He watched her for a moment before he nodded and looked back out of the water before she spoke again.

“Do you think this boat needs a test ride?”

He looked back at her as she grinned up at him, the gap where her two top teeth had fallen out serving as a reminder as to just how young she damned well was. Like he could ever forget that, mind. Frank looked down and shoved his glasses back as they slipped down his nose and with a sigh he gave in, the way he normally did when she pulled those puppy dog eyes on him.

“Go get, Fred.”

She smiled and jumped up.

“Don't run!” he called after her, watching as she slowed to a walk for a few strides, before running anyway. He shook his head, smiling to himself at her blatant disregard for his order.

She appeared a little while later and Frank got her settled in the seat of the boat with a life vest and a blanket covering her legs, it could get a little nippy on the water for Mary, not that it bothered him.

“Ready?” he asked

She gave him a thumbs up and he pulled the boat out of the spot and headed slowly out of the harbour. Once on the open water he sped up, relishing the feel of the wind in his hair. He felt at peace on the water, something about it soothed his soul. He drove them to a stretch of beach they knew and loved, a quiet one and he drove the boat into the shallow water before he shucked off his shoes and socks, rolled his jeans up and jumped down, pushing it up onto the sand.

“Alright short stack…” he smiled as Mary grinned and stood up. She shucked off her life vest and he lifted her out of the boat before passing Fred over. He hopped back in, grabbed the parasol and a fold out chair, passing her a bucket and spade, all of which he had thrown on the boat whilst she’d headed off to get Fred, before they made their way up the beach.

Mary soon set off, digging about in the sand and collecting shells, like a normal kid her age should do and Frank settled down to watch her, occasionally glancing out into the ocean, spotting every so often the ripple of the resident pod of dolphins as they broke surface lazily. Mary was splashing around in the shallow pools on the beach, Fred by her side before she looked up and came running towards him, jumping on his knee as the birds flew down to inspect what the tide had washed in.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Yeah.” she smiled, shifting around to get comfortable. “Fred loves to watch the sandpipers.”

Fred gave a meow as if to confirm what she was saying and Frank looked down at the cat as it lounged in the shade.

“He thinks he'd like to catch one, but he'd regret it.” she continued “Fred's not a killer. He's a lover.”

She gave a sigh and leaned back into him, her back resting against his chest and Frank moved his arms as she took his left hand in both of hers, gently looking at his palm and playing with his fingers.

“Would my mom want me to go to this school?” she asked.

“I can only guess.” Frank replied, honestly “But I will tell you that she would have wanted you to have friends.”

“Idiot friends?”  Mary said, almost groaning.

“She'd want you to have compassion for others.” Frank tilted his head so he was looking down at the side of her face “Like a cat can have for a sandpiper.”

Mary paused and shifted slightly, looking down a little “But what if they don't like me?” she asked softly.

And God, if that didn’t break his heart! He swallowed and took a moment, before he looked at her.

Then they're idiots.” he said simply, and in his mind it was the truth.

Mary didn’t reply, instead she leaned back, her head on his shoulder and Frank gently wrapped his arms further around her, patting her stomach gently. They both sat in silence for a bit, Mary gently tickling the back of his hands with her own. He was just thinking about telling her they really should get back, when he felt her sit up.

“Hey, is that Fliss?”                                

Frank frowned and looked at her, “Where?”

“There, look.” He followed where she was pointing and squinted slightly. There was a woman riding a chestnut horse a little further down the beach, and it certainly looked like Fliss.

“Hang on…” Frank pulled out his phone. He dialled Fliss and as he watched he saw the woman pause and reach into her boot to retriever her phone.

“Hey…” she greeted him.

“Turn to your left.”

There was a pause and then as she did so the two of the waved. Fliss laughed.

“Be right there…”

She placed the phone back in her boot and then kicked the horse into a gallop. It sped over the sand, kicking up spray as it went and Mary giggled and jumped off Frank’s knee as she approached.

“Hi!” she beamed down at them as she pulled the horse to a stop. Frank stood up and smiled at her. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Had to take the speedboat for a test drive.” Frank shrugged.

“Test sail.” Fliss countered.

“Whatever.” Frank rolled his eyes as Mary was busy stroking Heidi’s face. “What about you?”

“Oh had a spare afternoon so decide to load her majesty up and come down here.” she smiled “It’s nice and quiet. Sometimes I see the dolphins too.” Frank noticed the way her face lit up as she said that, and he smiled.

“They’re even better up close.” Mary grinned.

“Well, one day maybe I’ll get the chance” Fliss smiled.

“I still owe you a ride.” Frank smiled and she grinned.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Fliss grinned, “And speaking of rides…” she looked at Mary and gestured to the horse.

Frank took a deep breath “seriously?”

“Come on.” Fliss said “She’ll be safe, I trust this horse with my life.” Mary, suddenly realising what was being said looked to Frank, her eyes sparkling.

“Fine…” Frank sighed, shaking his head “But drop her and I’ll kill you.”

“What do you take me for?” Fliss scoffed, removing her hat and handing it to Mary. Once she was seated in front of her Fliss held her tightly, one arm around her waist, the other in the reins and told Mary to hang on. She set off slowly at first and then with a grin kicked the horse on into a slow canter, and steered towards the sea.

“Shit…” Frank muttered, his heart in his mouth as the both cantered through the waves, the spray kicking up behind them. He could hear Mary’s shouting and laughing as it echoed up the beach. They went a little distance away before Fliss slowed down to a walk, Heidi continuing along her path steadily.

“So, I hear school wasn’t great?” Fliss said as they turned and made their way back at a slower pace.

“No.” Mary shrugged “Frank got mad.”

“Did you apologise?”

“Yeah…its ok now.” Mary shrugged “I just didn’t like it. And I don’t think they liked me.” Fliss took a deep breath. “I’ll tell you a secret, when I first started riding, the other kids didn’t like me either.” “Really?” Mary turned to face her as they wandered back, gently swaying with the horses motions.

“Nope, I came from a different back ground to them. We weren’t rich, I mean my mum and dad have money now but we didn’t always.”

“So what happened?” “I kept going.” Fliss said gently “And then I met a friend, a girl called Charlotte. She was the same. Her family sold all their belongings so she could pursue her dream.”

Heidi slowed to a stop by Frank but Fliss continued to talk “And we became good friends, and we worked hard. She did dressage, I did show-jumping. And we both grew up together, and encouraged each other, and we made the teams.”

“Are you still friends now?” “Yeah, I still talk to her now, I don’t see her as much but…” Fliss took a deep breath, the thought of the past still a bit painful. “The point is Mary, if you go in thinking that everyone is against you then believe me, it will seem that way. Maybe you should think about having an open mind and giving this a go, yeah?”

Franks eyes were hidden behind his glasses and at that moment he was kind of glad, because for some reason, there was a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes as he had observed his niece and Fliss together, the woman simply talking to Mary.

Mary pondered for a moment before she sighed “I suppose…”

Fliss smiled “Good, you’ll be glad you did.”

Mary shrugged “Maybe. Hey, you know what ad nauseam means?”

Fliss frowned and looked up as Frank gave a laugh “It means indefinitely, never ending…forever, why?” she looked at Mary. “Oh, something Frank said I’d learn at school but I didn’t.” she shrugged “But now I know, thanks.” “You’re welcome.” Fliss chuckled, as Frank helped her down. She watched her run off to pick up her cat.

“Thank you.” Frank said gently, turning to look up at Fliss.

“What for?”

“Talking to her, the way you always do. I don’t know how you do it Lissy, but you make her listen.”

“Don’t worry too much about her.” Fliss smiled “I know it’s easy for me to say but, well you always said today would be a challenge. See how she goes tomorrow.”

Frank smiled and rubbed at the back of his neck before he took a deep breath, suddenly making a decision. “I err, don’t suppose you wanna come for a drink on Friday? I’m only going to Fergs but…”

“I thought Fridays were your nights, you know where you sat at a bar, alone, all broody and mysterious.” Fliss grinned down at him.

Frank shook his head, a crooked smile spreading on his face “Yeah well, maybe I fancy a bit of company this week.”

Fliss looked at him for a moment, considering what he had said before she smiled “Ok, I got lessons until 6:30 but I can meet you there later on?”

Frank smiled “Great, it’s a date.”

Fliss arched her eyebrow and Frank inwardly cursed “I mean, not a date, but, you know, a…”

“You’re cute when you get flustered.” Fliss teased, cutting him off with a laugh “Don’t worry, Sailor, I know what you mean.”

With that she turned the horse back the way she had come and winking at Frank called to Mary. “Hey, you know when you asked if Heidi could still go really fast?”

Mary nodded.

“Well watch this.”

And with that Fliss gave the horse a gentle nudge and it erupted into a ridiculously fast gallop back down the beach. Fliss’ whoops echoed in the air as she looked back waving, and Mary ran a little way after her laughing and waving back.

****

Fliss was right. The next morning they had a little fuss but nothing drastic. Mary came home with a note about Wednesday being show and tell. Mary wanted to take Fred. So they bundled him into a cardboard box. Frank waited patiently outside until Mary was escorted back out by a classroom assistant to hand the cat back over.

“Enjoy that?” he said.

Mary nodded.

“I was talking to Fred.” Frank teased. Mary narrowed her eyes and he laughed.  “I’ll see you later ok?”

She came home a lot happier, talking to him about how the kids had asked her questions about Fred that she had answered and Frank couldn’t help but smile as she rambled on and on. Later, when he called Fliss he couldn’t stop himself from talking either and Fliss had been led on her bed, smiling at his voice as he continued to gush about his niece. Thursday and Friday passed much the same, which was why when Friday night came Frank was in a reasonably good mood, and ready to buy Fliss all the damned beer she wanted.

Fliss, however, was in a flap. Her lesson had overrun and now she had changed her outfit 3 times, finally settling on a light blue cotton knee length, sleeveless dress and brown sandals, leaving her hair loose and her make up light.  She hadn’t been out with her friends for, well, not since moving here. Sure, she’d been out with her parents and their friends but this felt different. And she was nervous.

“You look nice.” Her dad looked up as she walked into their living room. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, you sure you don’t mind dropping me?” she looked at him, “I can get a cab?”

“Don’t be daft.” Bill said, picking up his keys.

“Have a nice time, Honey!” her mum called.

Bill could tell Fliss was nervous so he made idle chit chat on the drive down to the main strip of bars and eventually pulled up outside Fergs.

“Just have fun.” he looked at her, squeezing her hand gently “And if you need me, call.”

“Thanks dad.” she smiled, kissing his cheek before she let herself out of the range rover and headed into the bar.

She glanced around for a second, looking for Frank and spotted him at a table talking to a dark haired woman, with a pretty face. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she really wanted to interrupt and was debating running back out to catch Bill when Frank looked up and saw her. Flashing her that smile that could melt her on the spot he waved her over.

"Thought you were gonna stand me up!" he grinned at her as she took a seat. "Sorry, my last lesson over ran." She answered before she smiled politely at the dark haired woman. "Hi..." "Oh, Fliss this is Bonnie, Mary's teacher." Frank introduced them. "Nice to meet you." Fliss smiled. The woman gave her a smile back and stood up speaking to her as she did so “Well, I think I’ve taken up enough of your time Frank and don’t want to eat into your date." "Oh this isn’t a date..." Fliss protested at the same time Frank shook his head "We're not..." he gestured between himself and Fliss with his hands "Fliss is Mary's riding instructor" "She horse rides?" Bonnie said, an air of surprise in her tone. "The idea was it would hopefully teach her social skills." Frank snorted. "Clearly hasn’t worked.." "Oh don't be so hard on her." Fliss jumped to the girls defence. "She's a good kid." "I bet it’s easier when you're trying to teach them something they actually want to learn, or in Mary's case teaching her something she doesn’t know." Bonnie said and Fliss laughed. "She’s actually one of the easier kids I have." She replied and Frank smiled at her comment "mind you, none of the kids give me any hassle really, it’s the adults that are hard work."

“Oh my god tell me about it.” Bonnie groaned “I dread Teacher-Parent evenings, honestly, some of them are so obtuse.” "I can imagine." Fliss grinned

"Anyway I better..." Bonnie gestured over her shoulder. "See you later Frank, and nice to meet you Fliss" "You too." Fliss nodded to he as Frank waved his hand in goodbye.

“What you drinking cowgirl?” he asked, standing up “I’ll go get em in.”

Fliss asked for a beer and sat down as he went to place their order. A few minutes later he was back, sliding the bud over to her.

“Thanks…” she took a huge drink. “I err, didn’t interrupt anything before did I?"

"No, not really." Frank shook his head "Not really?" "She errr...found out about Diane." Frank said. "Oh." Fliss frowned. "How? I mean..." "When I picked Mary up on Monday she was asking me about her background on account of her being so smart. I tried to fob her off, saying I had taught her a system, you know for arithmetic but she didn’t buy it. Apparently she’s been giving Mary a few more advanced equations to do…”

Fliss looked down as he slid the paper on the table over to him. It contained a number of formulas and algebra problems which Fliss could see Mary had completed.

“As you can see, she aced them. And then Bonnie googled the system I mentioned, and then me and up popped Diane.”

“So did you tell her the truth?” Fliss asked looking up at him, sliding the paper back.

“What option did I have?” He shrugged, folding it and shoving it in his pocket. “She came down here to call me out so I figured honesty was the best…what?" He asked when he noticed Fliss was frowning. "She came down here on a Friday night to find you?" Fliss snorted

Frank shrugged “That’s what she said.”

"How she know you'd be here?" "I'm here most Fridays...not that hard to find." "Maybe you should think about varying your routine, Sailor" Fliss grinned “And you should definitely think about varying this shirt.”

Frank glanced down at his bright yellow palm tree print Hawaiian shirt

“What’s wrong with it?” he pouted.

“What’s right with it more like.”

“Well I’m not one for corporatism.” Frank shrugged “I like to think I’m an individual.”

“Yeah, well I’m not sure planet Earth could deal with two of you.” Fliss shot back. “I can only just about cope with one…”

Frank paused before he looked at her, shaking his head with a snort as his mouth curled up at one corner “Well that’s just fucking rude.”

“Made you smile though.” Fliss grinned at him.

Frank looked at her for a moment before he felt his face split further into a grin as he looked at her. “Yeah, yeah you do…I mean did.”

He saw her cheeks flush in that adorable way they did, and he decided to save her from further embarrassment by changing the subject. It wasn’t long before they settled into an easy conversation and the events of the previous week and all worries about Mary flew completely from Frank’s mind.

**** Chapter 6

[ninjakitty15]

Chapter 19: Good Impressions (Loki x OFC Pairing)

I looked in the mirror and couldn't help but grin widely, baring my teeth even as a sense of giddiness filled me. It was very rarely I ever actually dressed up or even really did much to prepare for an upcoming battle beyond gathering power, planning and making sure I had all my war ducks in a row, this was extra but it was the good kind in my opinion.

"You know...I read that the Spartans, the fiercest ancient warriors our world had at one point, would pretty themselves up before battle and spies from enemy lines that caught them doing that would overestimate them. Apparently real men don't wear makeup into a war," I told Loki who walked up behind me, watching me check myself out. "Funny thing is in this country and probably a lot of other countries today have this thing called war paint which might not make them look fabulous like a Spartan but it might as well be makeup as it's primarily worn on their face."

"I remember the Spartans, Odin was impressed by their tactics and way of life, especially their stand against the Persians, the odds weren't in their favor and yet somehow they gave them hell before defeat," Loki recalled.

"Quality over quantity," I added. "Those people were literally born to be warriors, only the strong babies survived the first of many tests they were forced into." I combed a hand through my hair, considered messing it but decided against it. "I used to be more of a silk or velvet kinda girl but I gotta tell ya, I'm really digging the leather. It's fashionable, it's sexy even, and it's pretty decent armor, I mean it's no breastplate or Kevlar vest but those are a bit too obvious and that's the last thing we want right now." I took a few swaggering steps, glancing at my backside curiously to see how it all fit together.

"You're enjoying this entirely too much," he mused.

"I know it hasn't been that long since we met, but are you really surprised at this point?"

"No, not really. How long are you gonna fawn over yourself in the mirror before we actually put this plan into motion?"

"Relax, I got this. I just gotta get a few things down pat before we jump head first into this oncoming shit storm." I grinned again. "What's the hurry?"

He watched me, a glint of amusement in his eyes as he shook his head at my antics. "You got the smile right and I'm not sure how you were able to copy my walk so quickly but the humor needs to change if you insist on chattering before things get started."

"But...humor is why I'm still kicking," I protested. "And it's a far cry from your own, which mind you I'm glad you have any at all, some other gods can't seem to grasp that concept despite being eons old. Still, it's a lot more...eloquent than I'm used to."

"Then perhaps don't say anything at all."

"And leave you to do all the talking, hell to the no, spank you very much."

"What's wrong with me doing the talking for once?" he crossed his arms in challenge and arched an eyebrow, daring me to answer.

I gave the god an unapologetic and unamused look. "I'm not the only one that's been muzzled here, maybe your brother was onto something when he did it to you."

"How dare you? You take that back right now!"

"Or what? Whatcha gonna do, huh? Take your shot, green boy, you got me deadbang."

The sound of someone clearing their throat loudly interrupted our usual bickering match and we both turned to see a half amused half arachnid smirking at us with his unnaturally muscular arms crossed as well. "You know this is technically playing with yourself, right? I mean if that's the case, could you get a room that isn't the only bathroom in the apartment, please?"

"How long since this plan was in motion did you wanna use that joke?" I teased the kid.

Peter shrugged and pretended to look bashful but now that he too was throwing in dirty jokes, the facade of him being an innocent kid was now out the window. "You sure I can't tag along?"

"Kid, you got your own enemies to fight and this might be a bit above your skillset which means if you tag along theres much less chance of you coming back."

"But you could just bring me back yourself, right?"

I scowled at his optimism. "Doesn't work that way, I only bring back the ones that can't pass on on their own and want another chance at tying up loose ends, and you better not be one of those people, you're a kid, which goes against my personal code of bringing back zombie kids, that's just fucking depressing having an army of rotting midgets."

Peter sighed in despair and slumped his shoulders. "I never get to do anything fun."

I rolled my eyes at his whining. "I'd also be held responsible for letting you come with and I kinda don't want to be hunted down by a team of go getters and fancyass technology, no spank you. I already have Hydra for the latter. So do me a favor, sit your five dollar ass down, before I make change."

Peter scoffed at my implied threat but stopped bugging me, it might have been his plan that could get the odds in our favor but it sure as hell wasn't his fight and I had no intention of dragging another cute super powered person into my personal vendetta. "Aunt May says you can come back anytime, just give one of us a heads up next time...and maybe something that gets black bloodstains off any surface just in case."

I would've blanched if I wasn't pale already. "Oh no, did I ruin something, I can pay for that."

"No no, just, I think she thinks you'd only come here if you're in trouble like you were this time and she's worried you might miss a spot next time if that's the case, normal blood you can just use hydrogen peroxide, but I'm not too sure it works on corpse blood."

"Noted and tell her thanks for everything, same goes for you of course since you were the one to let us in before she agreed to it. And also not informing the A team, that's important...you didn't tell them right?"

"Not like they take me all that seriously or even answer my calls if I did," Peter muttered. "You're all good there, promise."

"Excellent! You stay sharp and cute, the second either of that fails, you're fucked."

"Thanks, I think."

"Right then." I turned to Loki with another smirk. "How's this for a first impression?" I asked in smooth sorta British sorta something else accent.

He scowled at me but couldn't complain it seemed. "I'm getting the sense you've been working on that before this came to pass."

"Anyone can do an Avenger impression, hell anyone can wear their costumes, right Peter? But I'm not about the hero life, so why waste time on them when I've been giving it all to you?"

Loki was silent at this and it was Peter that actually responded to me. "That was actually really sweet."

"You say that like it's a surprise, physically dead here, not emotionally dead, thank you. My heart hadn't reached that stage where it becomes calcified like a fetus that won't leave its womb."

"You always have the oddest choice of metaphors," muttered Loki. "So you have the walk, the voice, the smile even though I'm not sure that's even necessary at this point."

"When are you going to prepare for the plan then?" I challenged. "Go on, see how well you know your part."

"Don't you worry about my side of the plan, I've been doing this sort of thing for the sheer fun of it long before you decided to do it out of sheer boredom."

I snorted and rolled my eyes at him. "Yes, we're all very aware of your old age, you don't have to remind us like we have to remind you, old man."

"Ye of little faith," he mocked, earning a bar of soap flying at his face he was lucky enough to duck. "Your aim needs improvement."

"I'm sorry, did you actually want to be hit in the head by something solid and hard and not a pillow, because I missed on purpose, you cotton headed ninny-muggins."

"Seriously, is all you two do bicker at each other?" asked Peter.

"Well I mean you wouldn't let us have any real adult fun while we crashed here so we gotta get that pent up energy out somehow, right?" I reasoned.

"She's not wrong," Loki agreed.

"Besides, no one's getting hurt from it, I'm convinced this is our own special way of showing we love each other without being a bunch of saps. I'm 99 things but a sap ain't one."

"What's wrong with being affectionate?" asked Peter, almost sounding offended.

"That implies I have more emotions than I'm willing to admit to anyone including myself, I'm generally not ok with having that much feels." I grinned, slicked back my hair again before doing a little dance for funsies.

"I'd refrain from doing that little jig when the plan's in full swing," warned Loki though he was still smiling in amusement.

"Oh but I like this," I purred with the accent again.

The smirk on his own face twisted, like I said something that somehow offended him and all his ancestors and pissed him off or deeply upset him. "Don't make me take it away from you till right before the fight starts."

"Oh come on, maybe you just need to hug it out and join the fun, bring it in, big guy." I opened my arms wide for emphasis. "There's no better love than self love."

He rolled his eyes at my stellar pun and green magic rolled over him as he changed into character. "I bet you were just dying to make that joke."

I stared at him and it was my turn to glare. "Was that your attempt at a dead joke? Oh hun, you gotta do better than that to fit the bill."

"Don't patronize me, woman, I wasn't even trying then."

I walked over and patted his cheek just to mess with him. "Sure you weren't. Do me a favor and work on that but also turn around for me."

"Why?"

"Just...do it."

He did begrudgingly and I frowned upon studying his form thoroughly before he faced me again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you got it right, it's just...I didn't realize it looked like that and now I'm suddenly an insecure teenager. Peter, is this how you feel all the time because, dude, this really sucks and I feel for ya."

"You say that like you were never one yourself," Peter noted.

"I know I was but like, I don't remember what it was like then, I couldn't tell you what I was like as a teen."

"Why not?"

"No memory of it, at all."

"You mean like it was so long ago that you can't remember that far back or lots of stuff happened during it so fast that it's all a blur."

"I mean it's not even accessible, it's gone from my mind completely."

Peter frowned, probably trying to understand what I was getting at. "Amnesia?"

"Mindwipe."

"Like Bucky Barnes?"

"No, that's brainwashed...wait, those do sound synonymous, damn, hadn't even thought about that. Brainwashed is basically having your mind overridden and reprogrammed, there's memories there but they're not real ones. Mindwiped is just nothing there to reprogram at all."

"Did Hydra do that too?"

"No, Hydra can't touch this, something they need to have programmed in their heads for all the times they tried and failed any of their aims when they had me. I can't tell you the who, but I can tell you it was painless and done willingly and without regret."

"You chose to have memories taken from you?"

I nodded simply, unable to elaborate as per the deal.

Loki, knowing there was some things I couldn't talk about for reasons he wouldn't know until hopefully later, chose to cut in then. "I think that's enough curiosity for now, we should get going and finish the plan you concocted for us."

I smiled thankfully at Loki and nodded in agreement. "Yes, of course.  Parker, if I don't make it back by tomorrow...just wait longer."

"Stop teasing the child, Nell, you could be really testing his patience with your antics and we wouldn't be welcomed back."

"You wouldn't, I would because I'm a delight to be around." I strutted after him anyway and he shook his head and beckoned me out of the bathroom and unfortunately out of the apartment.

"The Hydra agents and people that turned on you would say otherwise."

"The Hydra agents don't even know what joy is, the only time they're smiling is when they think they're about to take over the world and people are dying around them...the traitors are just pussies which means it doesn't take much to make em weep."

"Again with the metaphors."

"Maybe you should start taking some notes, eh? Give you a head start seeing as I'm all caught up on my end, unless you got something to add there?"

"Well you still haven't proven you can get the mannerisms right and mannerisms maketh men."

"But we are not men..."

"No, we're immortals."

[britishchick09]

the best and worst books i read in school!

ever since 5th grade, i’ve been reading novels in school. with the end of high school looming (and today being the last day of classes), i’ve decided to list the ultimate show stoppers and the bird droppers. let’s begin! :D

the best of 5th grade- maniac magee! i don’t remember much about it besides the twinkie things (which actually exist at walmart!) and shipping maniac and the girl character. my 5th grade teacher reading it made it so much better :D we also read ‘chains’, which is about a slave girl names isabel going to freedom. it’s a very powerful book and the sequel, ‘forge’, which is about a freed soldier boy named curzon, is just as amazing! ‘esperanza rising’, the story of a girl named esperanza who moves from mexico to california during the great depression, is pretty great too from what i remember!

the worst of 5th grade- idk what else we read in 5th grade besides those three (technically four) books. it could’ve been an iconic book year! (it was already an iconic school year)

the best of 6th grade- drums, girls and dangerous pies! it’s an interesting story of a high schooler named steve dealing with a crush and his little brother’s cancer, yet there’s actually a happy ending! the end is really iconic since steve says ‘i-’ to his brother jeff and it’s clearly ‘i love you’ but it cuts off! bonus points to ‘the cay’, a story of a boy named phillip who ends up on a raft with a man named timothy and a cat named stew cat. it’s a neat adventure and timothy saying ‘malar!’ is an earworm of a phrase

the worst of 6th grade- HOLY FRICK ‘THE HATCHET’ IS THE MOST BORING BOOK EVER WRITTEN!!! it’s about this kid who gets stranded in the forest and there’s this skunk pal, so you’d think it would be like ‘the cay’ BUT IT’S NOT IT’S SO FREAKING DULL OMG!!!! bonus points to ‘the gadget’ which starts out cool BUT THEN THE MAIN CHARACTER(also called steve!)’S FRIEND ALEXI TURNS OUT TO BE A SPY AND TRIES STABBING HIM LIKE WOAH THESE KIDS ARE ELEVEN YEARS OLD STOP DOING THAT WTF!!!! if you thought the double digit chapter was bad... oh boy! also ‘boy in the striped pajamas’ was good but very depressing! :(

the best of 7th grade- tom sawyer! this is about a boy and his southern adventures. it was a great story, but the movie is one of my fave live action movies ever!! they say the book is better than the movie but the movie is miles better and it’s so cute!!! bonus points to ‘the giver’, which is about a boy named jonas who meets an old man who shows him life in a better world (and there’s a baby). jonas and the giver were very sweet together and i love how jonas and the baby escape their dystopian society at the end!

the worst of 7th grade- call of the wild! it’s about a sled dog named buck who goes on a wild adventure in the arctic. it’s not a bad book, but the movie was so cheesy and it focused on the humans WHY THO???

the best of 8th grade- the outsiders! it’s about a greaser named ponyboy who runs away with his friend johnny after johnnycake kills a soc named bob. pb and the other greasers were such great characters and the story was so interesting! i also liked how the story is set in tulsa, where my grandpa lived. the outsiders fandom is a lot of fun and i’m so glad the story became one of my faves! :D bonus points go to ‘the diary of anne frank’, which we only read the play, so i sought out the whole book and wow anne’s story is so tragic and inspiring! more bonus points to ‘the good earth’, which is about a man in china and has an awesome movie to it (despite having white actors) and ‘twelfth night’, which is a funny shakespeare play about a girl named viola who disguses herself as a man named cesario. it’s full of romance, laughter and a hot feste singing voice (in the 1987 audiobook at least). and olivia is definitely bi ;)

the worst of 8th grade- animal farm! it’s about an orwell dystopian society (hmm...) but in a barn with animals. it’s not bad, but many of the animals were jerks except old major and the 1999 movie we watched was so cringy! (and the beasts of england song was changed which wasn’t cool)

the best of 9th grade-  the odyssey! it’s the ancient greek story of odysseus, a soldier who goes on an epic adventure to get home. the book was alright, but the movie was awesome and the movie ‘o brother where art thou’ (which is based on the story) is really great too! harrison burgeron, a dystopian society with a bad boi, was awesome too because i remember seeing the short film of it in 7th grade. ‘to kill a mockingbird’, which is about a girl named scout living in the segregated south, is really great as well! i loved how it was set in the 30s and scout was so much fun! (i’m a bit bummed at how we didn’t get to see the movie tho). ‘romeo and juliet’ is shakespeare’s most iconic work, being a tale of two star crossed lovers in fair verona. i really enjoyed the story(not the d jokes tho) and it inspired me to write a story set in 1596 (when the play was made)! i take back what i said about 5th grade being iconic 9TH GRADE WAS SO ICONIC YAS!!!!!

the worst of 9th grade- the scarlet ibis! it’s about a boy who takes care of his sick brother named doobie and tries to make him ‘normal’. it’s sweet how the iris symbolizes the brother, but how they die at the end is so sad! ‘the sniper’ wasn’t that good but the plot twist of the sniper guy shooting his brother was neat (also the ‘romeo + juliet’ movie wasn’t that good besides mercutio)

the best of 10th grade- a thousand splendid suns! the most recent book i’ve read, it’s about two women named mariam and laila who live in the afghanistan as the taliban take over. their story is so inspiring and i love how laila was able to be happy after all the horrifying things she went through with rasheed. mariam sacrificing herself for laila by killing rasheed was very powerful and i wish the stage version had her in it. bonus points go to ‘lord of the flies’! a group of boys are stranded on an island and there’s much boy chaos involved. it’s a great story and the fandom was too!

the worst of 10th grade- where are you going where have you been! this is about a girl named colleen who meets a guy named arnold friend. he’s very creepy and it’s an uncomfortable story to read (even more than rasheed!). equal bonus points to ‘the red bow’, a confusing story of a dead girl, a dog and red bows that i still don’t understand!

the best of 11th grade- the crucible! it’s about a girl named abigail who gets swept up in the salam witch trials. it’s a fascinating story with real life elements (rip giles) and the movie was pretty good. ‘the great gatsby’ was also a great story about how the roaring 20s wasn’t as fun as it seemed through the story of gatsby, all told through the eyes of nick

the worst of 11th grade- into the wild! this is a study sync thing, but we did a lot of those compared to novels. it’s about chris mccandles, a guy who tried surviving in a van in alaska and died, making a terribly tragic tale. ‘an incident at owl creek’ was ok but the best part was the plot twist of the guy running to his wife and being hung right before he can touch her (we saw the twilight zone ep instead of reading it and the twist was *chef’s kiss*)

the best of 12th grade- 1984!!! it’s the story of a dreamer named winston, who lives in the dystopian world of oceania. he meets a girl named julia and the two have a secret love affair, but they soon find out that no one is safe under the eye of bb. it’s terrifying tale that’s a bit depressing, but there are so many little moments that make me smile and the movie is even better. winston is relatable in some ways, julia is awesome and julston is a pretty great ship! it’s a big improvement over animal farm and it’s definitely my favorite adult story. bonus points go to ‘rime of the ancient mariner’, which is about an old sailor recounting his unfortunate journey at sea. the mariner telling his story to a random wedding guest was funny and it was an adventure like the odyssey! another round of bonus points to ‘beowulf’, an ancient norse tale of a warrior who fights a monster named grendel. the parts of the 2007 movie we saw sucked, but the story was really cool! wiglaf gets a shout out because he’s the best warrior :) another half bonus point to ‘hunger games’, which we saw the movie of. it’s about a girl named katniss who competes in a competition called the hunger games, which makes for a thrilling adventure!

the worst of 12th grade- hamlet! all of what we read this year was really good, but someone had to be last. this shakespearean tale is of hamlet, a prince who seeks revenge >:) it’s an ok story and i like the ghost dad!

now for my all time favorites! (and least faves)

the worst of the worst- the hatchet, the red bow, where are you going where have you been and the gadget

the best of the best!- 1984, the outsiders, a thousand splendid suns,  the diary of anne frank, the odyssey, romeo and juliet, to kill a mockingbird, twelfth night, harrison burgeron, rime of the ancient mariner and the good earth (along with the tom sawyer/1984 movies and hunger games)

good or bad, the books i read throughout school were amazing and i can’t wait to see what college brings! :D

[thedeaditeslayer]

Bruce Campbell talks ‘Evil Dead,’ ‘Spider-Man,’ ‘Xena’

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The first time Bruce Campbell came across Sam Raimi, they were students at Michigan’s West Maple Junior High School.

“Sam was a year younger than me,” Campbell recalls, “and I remember him dressed as Sherlock Holmes playing with dolls in the middle of the floor. And I remember going way around him. And I found out later that it was Sam Raimi. We didn’t really come into contact until we got until high school.”

What a connection they made. After bonding over D.I.Y. filmmaking, Campbell and Raimi went on to do 1978 shoestring horror-short “Within the Woods” together, which they evolved into 1981 demonic thriller “Evil Dead.”

Campbell would periodically reprise signature “Evil Dead” character Ash Williams in various sequels and offshoots. And appear in Raimi-produced “Xena: Warrior Princess,” portraying slippery “king of thieves” Autolycus on that ’90s-iconic TV fantasy epic.

And then there’s Campbell’s memorable cameos in Raimi’s blockbuster, Tobey Maguire-starring “Spider-Man” film trilogy: the ring announced in the first, 2002 film, “snooty usher” in the 2004 sequel and a maître d’ in 2007′s “Spider-Man 3.”

Of course, Campbell’s made a mark outside that dynamic duo. He drew raves for his portrayal of a nursing-home-bound Elvis Presley in 2002 indie comedy-horror gem, “Bubba Ho-Tep.” Then there’s his role of Sam Axe on USA Network spy drama “Burn Notice.” Not to mention numerous other film, TV, voice acting and even video-game work.

The cult-fave actor will make his first ever trip to Huntsville this week, for Oct. 24 events at Von Braun Center’s Mark C. Smith Concert Hall featuring “Evil Dead” screenings followed by a Campbell-led chat about the film, his life as an actor and beyond. Tickets for these 3 and 7:30 p.m. events start at $32, via ticketmaster.com.

His upcoming projects include a comedy album with actor Ted Raimi, Sam’s brother, called “The Lost Recordings.” Campbell also is readying a book of essays called “The Cool Side of My Pillow,” which finds him riffing on subjects ranging from noise to the environment. He hopes to have both released by the end of this year. More info at bruce-campbell.com. On a recent afternoon, Campbell checked in from his Oregon home for a phone interview. Edited excerpts are below.

Bruce, when you do an “Evil Dead” screening event, do your discussions turn up new things about the film or that you haven’t thought of in a long time?

Every show turns up something new because it puts you on the spot. Someone will say something that will then trigger something that you had forgot. I just sat down the other day before one of these shows with my guy who is my frontman and I was like, “OK, l’m just going to tell the story of making this movie.” It’s not for questions I’m just going to tell you basically what you’re about to see. But yeah, every show triggers some new thing. I’ve seen the movie. I know how it ends. But that is the challenge, finding some new, weird tidbits.

Back in high school how did you and Sam Raimi first bond? Did you share a class or something?

Basically I got into typing class, that’s what started it. I could not believe I was stuck in this stupid class where everyone around me seemed to know how to type. I’m like, “How do you know this?” It was very frustrating. So I went to a counselor for the first time ever – I’d never gone to try to get out of anything.

So I go there and I say, “Hey can I drop this dumb typing class?” She goes, "Yeah, what do you want? I go, “What do you got?” So she comes up with “radio speech.” And I’m like, “Radio speech? Wait they do the morning announcements (at school) and stuff?” and I’m like yeah let me get all over that.

So I got into a class and Sam Raimi was also in the class. And the guy who taught radio speech also directed all the plays. We didn’t know how critical that was. The first year I couldn’t get in anything in my high school. I was auditioning for everything but I didn’t have a class with this guy. By the next year I had a class with him, and then me and Sam were in basically all the plays after that. We found out how the deal worked.

So I met him in radio speech and we’d do the morning announcements together and got to talking about what we do in our neighborhoods. I was making little regular-8 (millimeter film) movies and Sam was making Super-8 movies. So we started to join forces during the course of that high school run, that two or three years in there.

We were very productive. We didn’t really get into trouble because we were too busy like filming parties. We wouldn’t go to the parties we’d film the parties and use them in some way in our little films so it was a great guerrilla filmmaking period.

A celeb or well-known person you were surprised to learn they’re an “Evil Dead” fan?

I heard Charlie Sheen, one of his favorite things was to smoke a doobie and watch “Evil Dead 2,” and Alice Cooper’s favorite horror movie is “Evil Dead.”

If it’s good enough for Alice Cooper it’s good enough for me. You host the quiz show “Last Fan Standing.” What do you make of the mainstreaming of nerd-culture?

Every generation has its deal. In the ’40s most moviegoers were in their 40s and so the actors were in their 40s. Humphrey Bogart and Spencer Tracy and all the guys were in their 40s. You didn’t have to be 21. And then as the audience got younger the actors got younger and the people who run the companies get younger and so they’re really just catering to what’s popular.

Comic books have always been popular but now they’re really popular. Not really sure what that’s all about but yeah social media has certainly helped but I think it’s another form of escapism. Whenever times get weird, people want escapism. During The Depression they did the Busby Berkeley splashy musicals where everyone was happy all the time, when life was really miserable. And some decades where we’re really doing okay, the movies turned introspective and we go after ourselves and figure out why we’re like this and like that. And so I think we’re in a phase where we just want to be taken away to another galaxy and Marvel is very happy to help.

And you’ve been a part of that. In Sam’s “Spider-Man” trilogy, which of your cameos did you have the most fun with?

Well I don’t know it’s hard to lineate because they’re so critical. The first one I named Spider-Man. If I wasn’t in the movie a billion dollar franchise would be called The Human Spider. He wants to get in the theater in the second one, past the snooty usher who won’t let him in because he’s late, because it will spoil the illusion, so I think I’m technically the only character who’s ever defeated Spider-Man. And in part three, a superhero comes to a mortal for help. He wants me to help him propose to his girlfriend so it’s sort of a landmark case where a superhero goes to a mortal for help which is pretty rare. So I can’t delineate because they’re all critical to the “Spider-Man” universe.

Do you have any cool mementos from "Evil Dead or elsewhere from your career? Maybe something like the chainsaw from “Evil Dead 2”?

You know, it’s weird I’m not a hoarder, I’m not a collector. My brother, he has the shotgun from “Evil Dead,” but not because he loves movie trivia, he just likes guns. My brother also has I think the set of keys to the original cabin. That’s a pretty good one. Not sure how he got that one.

I have weirder ones. Like I have a prop from a 1989 movie called “Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat.” I have Van Helsing’s holy bottle where he shakes the holy water at them. And I have what I call my tchotchke shelf, where most people would look at it and they couldn’t identify what importance each item is, but there’s a story for each one.

Some of your favorite actors outside the horror genre?

Oh, I l love a lot of the old time actors. William Holden, he starred in “Bridge on The River Kwai” one of my favorite movies. I like the guys who had to work a lot. In the old days and actor would finish a job on Friday he was under contract, he took two weeks off and started a new movie a couple weeks later. Actors kind of just do one or two movies a year if they’re lucky these days and it doesn’t help them refine their craft.

I feel like the guys who worked a lot got good because they got really used to the process. I’m a fan of the studio system. Not all movies were good and not every actor was happy under the studio system, but I think a busy actor’s a good actor.

For your role in “Bubba Ho-Tep,” what was your process for tapping into Elvis’s vibe?

What guy doesn’t want to be Elvis, you know? So I worked with an Elvis impersonator for about a half an hour and then he gave up on me. He goes, “Look, man, you’re never going to get it.” I’m like, “Wow either I suck or you suck as a teacher but somebody here sucks.”

No, but I watched a bunch of footage and documentaries. There’s a good one, all his Memphis Mafia who worked with him, a filmmaker basically got them all drunk one night and interviewed them all and that’s where the good stories are. You learn a little more of the human side of him. But that’s pretty much it. I’ve never been a stage performer so mercifully there wasn’t that much of it, just in quick flashbacks.

And there’s a part of me, in the back of my mind, I want to know that Elvis' descendants, somebody, a daughter, niece, somebody has watched that movie and approved. We’ll see.

I thought it was a cool creative take on that whole Elvis thing.

I agree. That’s why I did it. It was one of the weirdest scripts I’ve ever read But yet it wraps up though. It has a weird premise but it has a really interesting theme of what do you do with old people. Do we forget these old people? And are they still useful in society, old people? And I thought it had a sweet ending, that these two old guys they kind of rally themselves one more time.

What’s a well-known role you’ve turned down?

Turned down? I don’t have a lot of those. I don’t operate in that rarified air of saying, “Oh I turned ‘Titanic’ down.” I tried to get a part in a studio movie called “The Phantom” and Billy Zane wound up getting the part." And it was down to me and Billy, I was number two for the job, but I didn’t really enjoy the process very much because it seemed more political than actually acting. It was amazing how many people you had to audition for, and you had to go up the ranks and each time it got a little more tense as you move up. So I’m good doing these weirdo little movies.

I read the budget for “Within the Woods,” the predecessor of “Evil Dead,” was a princely 1,600 bucks. What was the most expensive line item, you think?

Food and probably fake blood. Tom Sullivan, who did the special effects, probably needed to mold a few things, so he probably spent a couple hundred bucks on molds. A lot of it was footage because Sam Raimi likes to shoot footage, so we probably bought a lot of rolls of film. And we did go to a cabin to shoot it, so had to get in the car and travel so maybe a little gas money in there too. That’s about it.

What can you tell us about the status of the next installment of the “Evil Dead” franchise?

We’re honing-in, circling the building now trying to lock in a partner. We have a couple of bidders and we’re trying to just find the correct suitor and we have a script written and a director picked. Sam Raimi hand -picked a guy named Lee Cronin, who’s a very good Irish filmmaker. And it’s got a very good modern tale. It’s a modern-day urban “Evil Dead,” it’s called “Evil Dead Rise.” And we’re hoping to do that next year.

You were a producer on 2013 “Evil Dead” remake. What’s the key to making a reboot effective?

Well rebooting can be very confusing and frustrating and not always successful. Reboot, sequel, remake we have all these crazy terms. What we’re doing now is we’re saying," Look, this is another ‘Evil Dead’ movie and that book gets around, a lot of people run into it and it’s another story." The main key with “Evil Dead” is they’re just regular people who are battling what seems to be a very unstoppable evil, and so that’s where the horror comes from. It’s not someone who’s skilled. They’re not fighting a soldier. They’re not fighting a scientist. They’re not fighting anybody more than your average neighbor. This one is going to be a similar thing. We’re going to have a heroine, a woman in charge, and she’s going to try and save her family.

Speaking of a female protagonist, when you’re at a con or meet fans somewhere, who has the most passionate superfans: “Evil Dead” or “Xena”?

“Xena” hits them at an emotional level. Like, they’ll come up to me and Lucy Lawless (the actor who played the show’s title role) and just burst into tears, because her character helped them get through a difficult time. “Xena” is more representative of overcoming your struggles in life. “Evil Dead” fans are pretty fervent but they don’t cry as much.

[sobstoriesandshitposts]

2019 has already ended but here’s a list (+ my unasked for opinions) of all the books I’ve read in 2019 in chronological order, Part 2.

((Disclaimer: this is a shitpost for myself and highly overrun by my emotions — I shall not be held accountable if my opinion is taken seriously. And I know it’s 2020 already, but procrastination is prevalent.))

By the way, here’s part 1, if you’d like.

8. The Dragon Republic

Rin was an absolute mess the entire book and god knows how frustrated I got with the dumb decisions™ she made every step of the way. But the poor girl was going through some shit and she picked it all up at the end, so I’m ready for the third installment, and to finally, see the end of the poppy war. Also, THE THIRD BOOK HAS BEEN NAMED “THE BURNING GOD” and I stan. But generally, book 2 wasn’t very memorable to me, and I don’t remember it very well anymore so it was eh.

Characters: 3/5

Plot: 3.5/5

General feel things factor: 3.5/5

9. An Ember in the Ashes

God, I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED BY THIS BOOK. I almost hate it. I might actually. It’s definitely the book I dislike most of 2019. Ok listen, I’m pretty sure I dislike it because I hadn’t been in the right mindset to read it, and it just ended up not being the kind of book I was looking for in terms of plot and mood. Maybe it was intentional, but everything ended up being really dreary and boring and so underwhelming to me. I didn’t feel anything for the story nor for the characters (whose names I no longer remember). I mostly wanted to follow the first girl’s story rather than the other two characters (even though honestly, I didn’t care for what was happening to her either) so I ended up skimming half of the book and then forcing myself to finish the rest of it. Why didn’t I just DNF it? I don’t know too. I was probably going through some kinda mood.

Characters: 1/5

Plot: 1.5/5

General feel things factor: 1/5

10. To Kill a Kingdom

NOW. I’ve seen some reviews on this, and boy, were they mixed — but let’s ignore them, because here is my significant opinion: it was cute. I think tkak is just a simple, short fantasy-romance that got out a cute couple and was done with it. I loved Lira’s character, idk there was just something about her dryness (hah, even though she’s a siren-) that I really enjoyed. Although I have to say, the main guy character had been rather bland, and I don’t remember his name anymore. But anyway, I liked the first-meeting-girl-slaps-boy-scene. I liked the pirates. I liked the romance. I liked the straight-forwardness. I liked the happy ending. (And after AEITA, this was exactly what I needed.) So 10 points to Alexandra Christo.

Characters: 3.5/5

Plot: 3.5/5

General feel things factor: 3.5/5

11. An Enchantment of Ravens

SO. DAMN. ADORABLE. Some people hate enchantment, some people don’t. I personally absolutely loved it. I found Isobel and Rook so cute together, and everything was just really soft and fluffy. Like tkak, it’s just a short and sweet romance, but it leans more towards the fairytale vibes — and I was vibing. I found both the main characters so whimsical and dramatic and ridiculous and they were just so ENJOYABLE to read about. The plot was simple and to the point and it didn’t meander when it didn’t have to — so I don’t care what anyone has to say, an enchantment of ravens is probably one of my favorite reads in 2019 and I adore it. (And the line “Now stop making me feel things.” is just iconic to me. I mean, please, Rook.)

Characters: 4.5/5

Plot: 4/5

General feel things factor: 4.5/5

12. Graceling

Alright, so this is the book I ended on before I stopped reading, aka stopped ignoring the reality of my exams, to start studying for my exams. I found Po and Katsa cute together and I enjoyed their dynamics, but they got a little boring towards the end. I think their relationship got too mature and serious for me (or maybe exams looming over my head just made me really depressed) so they lost the childish charm about them that had drawn me in in the first place. But that doesn’t change the fact that Katsa is an absolute badass, that the entire scene in the courtyard where they fought is iconic, and that the truth behind Po’s sight at the end made me cry. Wasn’t my favourite, but graceling was enjoyable, which was exactly what I needed to feel satisfied to end on, and not too drawn into a world that I needed another one to replace it after it ended. Thank you Graceling, for saving whatever had been left of my grades.

Characters: 2.5/5

Plot: 3/5

General feel things factor: 3/5

13. The Cruel Prince (& The Wicked King & The Queen Of Nothing)

This is definitely my favourite book (and series) of 2019 and I was ruined by it. I actually had to reread the cruel prince, because the first time I did, I didn’t enjoy it and that didn’t sit right with me — I mean, come on, Holly Black is my queen and there’s no way I’d dislike a 4.2 star book of hers. And boy, was that one of the best decisions I’ve made in 2019. I was so immersed in Jude’s world and everything she was about to face; I rooted for her the whole way. I loved her character so, so much (for once, we get an mc that is actually smart). I loved Cardan so, so much. Honestly, I truly liked all of the characters. And Jurdan? I live for that sh*t. I was completely floored by this trilogy and I. Still. Want. More. (+ The quotes from this series??? Just freaking iconic.)

Characters: 5/5

Plot: 5/5

General feel things factor: 5/5

14. Sorcery of Thorns

Ah, yes, another one of the books I was disappointed by. After An Enchantment of Ravens, I had been so excited to read the second work of Margaret Rogerson, but it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. I really enjoyed it at first, but around the half way point I started to get bored and almost DNFed it. And yes, I am aware that Sorcery is meant to be an epic fantasy and is different from Enchantment, but I just thought that the characters would still have that whimsical, ridiculous flair that had been done so well in Enchantment — but the character building here kind of just fell flat for me. Although there were moments I did enjoy reading about Elisabeth and Nathaniel, I just didn’t really see the chemistry between them and I couldn’t appreciate their interactions and banter much. I felt like Silas was just a cookie-cutter “cold on the outside but warm on the inside” character as well. Okay, I’m being extra harsh on this book because of my crushing disappointment from great expectations, but actually, Sorcery had been a pretty good read that started off well. Although the middle got a little dry, i think it picked itself up again at the end and I felt compelled to finish it. Plus, Silas’ moment made me tear up even when I hadn’t expected myself to, so, that’s always a bonus.

Characters: 3/5

Plot: 3/5

General feel things factor: 3/5

15. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue

So whimsical. So funny. So light-hearted — yet it had the surprise punch-you-in-the-gut feels. I spent a good deal of time laughing over Henry’s antics (when he ran naked around Versailles???? Oh my god, what are you doing, Henry?) and his efforts at trying to be a decent human-being. It was honestly, a very heart-felt and romantic story, which really has me torn up because how does Mackenzi Lee weave in so many heavy, important themes like abuse, trauma, racial and sexual discrimination and mental illness, and still make it such a light-hearted story — that was done well? (And lets not forget how she’s also managed to include some serious Fullmetal Alchemist vibes in there complete with murders and violins and pirates. Geez.) She’s a genius that’s how. The number of times I’ve almost cried, but was saved by Henry’s comments is just- ugh. If there’s any book I’d recommend just for being a damn good book, it’d be this one because, wow, was it good.

Characters: 4.5/5

Plot: 4/5

General feel things factor: 4.5/5

16. Carry On

We have now reached my final book of 2019: it was an absolute delight and one of my favourites. I just loved the characters, like they were so enjoyable to read about. I mean, I felt like Simon had a stick up his ass for a good portion of the beginning, but he softened up later on and my god, Baz. I loved his character so much. And the pining? HELL YES. And then, of course, his refusal to admit that he was pining to anyone else but himself. Simon and Baz were just extremely shippable, and I was ready to gobble up whatever I could of their romance. So fluffy, so ridiculous. Rainbow Rowell also made good use of the switching POVs. I normally dislike it when author’s switch the perspectives because it tells a side of the story that I really don’t care for (ahem, an ember in the ashes...) but Rowell did it so damn well. Even Agatha’s pov was enjoyable. She provided a different perspective on things compared to the other characters and I actually really liked her “I don’t want to have anything to do with this bullshit” take on things. It was fresh, and funny, even if she was being an ass half the time. So, Carry On? It’s a yes from me.

Characters: 4/5

Plot: 3/5

General feel things factor: 4/5

And finally, my 3 DNFs, in which I will rant about them just a little:

1) Wicked Fox

Didn’t like the writing style. Normally I don’t notice writing styles much because I’m just not that good with the technicalities, but Wicked Fox’s bothered me and I just couldn’t enjoy it. Also, I wasn’t in the mood to be patient, so I just decided to drop it.

2) Serpent & Dove

I actually really liked the beginning, but I think I wasn’t in the right headspace and I started to get bored by it, so I stopped reading. I’ll probably pick it up again in the future when I’m in the mood for it though :)

3) Throne or Glass

My god. I picked this up purely as tribute for Feysand — which, I guiltily admit, I really enjoyed — but- I- I couldn’t get past the first five chapters of tog. Putting aside the writing style (Why! Are! There! So! Many! Exclamation! Marks!), I didn’t feel anything for any of the characters, and any of the scenes. I don’t know what it is, but everything just felt so disconnected from me, and I had an inkling that I wasn’t going to care about what happened to the mc, or what happened with her and the other two (who I presume are) love interests because even on first impression, and a little past that, both seemed so bland to me. Sigh.

That’s it for the list; if you’re still here, good on you.

[slightlyobsessedwithstories]

I Can't Believe It's Over

Summary: Steven watches his favorite series come to an end and talks to Connie about it.

Notes: Look it's fluff. That's it it's just some comfort that's still very much needed even if it has been over a week now. Also it's around 1800 words.

 Steven was fixated on the screen before him, dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep. The first rays of sunlight shined through the window as one of multiple alarms rang. 

 'It's almost here! It's almost here!' he thought as he turned off almost all of the 10 alarms. It was the final episode of his favorite series, Crying Breakfast Friends! 

 Well, technically CBF! ended a few years ago and this was its epilogue series, but still, it was practically the sixth season of the show.

 He usually woke up at this time, but he's been up all night, theorizing how Spilled Milk could solve all of their problems, especially with Glum Glass (who he shipped them with.)

 He was just so excited that he stayed up all night. He kept floating anyway, so it's not like he could sleep on the ceiling. He was up all night, sharing his theories and headcanons while looking through some of the fanart that have come from the episode that was released last week.

 He still couldn't believe it was the last episode, it's been running for years. He can still remember the first episode like it was yesterday.

 One last alarm rang as he opened a streaming app that made him watch with fellow fans, whatever happens next he's sure it would be good.

 An hour and many, many tears later, Connie was calling him for their bi-weekly breakfast together. However Steven was still in bed, a river of tears streaming down his face as the credits rolled.

 He was literally crying over Spilled Milk, but that really isn't important right now.

 He wiped his tears on the sleeves of his pajamas and went downstairs to wash his face. His eyes were still a bit puffy, but maybe Connie wouldn't notice.

 Steven went back toward the bed, sinking a bit. He took a few deep breaths, and finally answered her call.

 "Good morning, Steven!" Connie greeted. She was in a diner, judging by the tables and chairs behind her. It was close to full and people were having different conversations, but it wasn't too loud that he couldn't hear her.

 "Morning, Connie," he yawned right after greeting her, hoping to mask his sadness with tiredness.

 It didn't work. Connie has started to be concerned, "Steven? Are you alright?"

 "Yeah I'm fi—"

 The universe has a cruel sense of irony, it seems. As he was only midsentence as he saw the glass of milk and the plate filled with fried eggs and crispy bacon and started to sob again.

 "I-I can't believe it's over!"

 He shuts his mouth, was that too loud? He covers his face with the pillows until he hears Connie talking. She's awkwardly explaining to the people around her; he wipes some of the tears with his sleeve while he apologizes for shouting.

 Connie goes back to her seat, visibly relieved. Whether it's because she doesn't have to talk to another stranger or because she knows what's happening with him, it's unknown to him. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

 She turns to Steven and asks one question with a knowing look in her eye, "Your favorite series just ended, didn't it?"

 "Wait... how- how did you know?" 

 "I know how that feels," she ate some of her bacon and continued, "I've read so many novels, The Spirit Morph Saga was just one of many books I've obsessed for years!"

 Steven listened to her every word as she gushes about some of her favorite books. It's been years since he heard of it, he still remembered Connie introducing him to the saga. He still loves the ending to this day, though he doesn't know if she still feels the same about the ending years later.

 "Oh, sorry I got into a tangent there."

 "It's okay, I love hearing you being so passionate."

 There was a slight blush on her cheeks; she proceeded to drink the milk to hide it. "So..Anyways, what was the name of the series that just left you in tears today?"

 Now it was his turn to be embarrassed, how exactly is he going to explain that he's been watching a cartoon for the past six years? He doesn't know what kind of shows she's watched!

 But she wouldn't judge him for that, so might as well just say it, "It's Crying Breakfast Friends."

 "I thought that show ended years ago?"

 "Well, yes, but technically no, so the original show, Crying Breakfast Friends did end a few years ago, but its epilogue series, Bawling Brunch Friends ended today."

 "So... were you satisfied with the ending?"

 She was answered with more tears, "It was so bittersweet!"

 Okay, now she needed to be there with him. "I'm going to finish up here, okay? I'll be there in a minute!"

 Connie ended the call, finished her breakfast, tipped the waitress, and ran outside to Lion all under one minute.

 A portal opened up in the beach house's living room with Connie and Lion going out from it.

 "Thanks, Lion," she said while giving his mane a few pats. He gave a cute little smile and proceeded to sleep near the sofa. 

 Of course she had to give him some pets, besides it was only a few seconds till a full minute passes and she ran up the stairs.

 She knows the feeling, sure she wasn't as sentimental when some of her favorite series ended, but she knows how empty it feels at first.

 She wonders how Steven's handling it.

 ...

 Just the sight of his bed tells it all.

 It's a bit messy and tear-stained, the impression of Steven has been there for a while making the teen that was on the bed sink even further into it. Near the pillows were some toys and old plushies of the characters in the show, Steven himself holding two of them in his arms while under his comforter.

 He was clutching the plushies of a carton of milk and a glass, keeping them close together. He hasn't noticed that she's here, but to be fair she hasn't spoken a word since she came up.

 "Hi, Steven." He freezed up for a second, but he was still silent. "Mind if I join you in there?"

 She saw his head nodding and making some space for her; she joined him under the covers.

 He was looking at some fanart of all the characters together, waving goodbye at the audience as the words, "Thank you Samantha Pepper!" appear above them.

 "So.. I remembered seeing a few episodes." Connie shifted closer to Steven, "It looked like a fun, silly cartoon from some of the episodes I've seen."

 He chuckled at that, a bit too much judging by Connie's confused reaction.

 "It was a fun, silly show at first. I rewatched the whole series preparing for this, and wow, there was a lot of stuff that went over my head."

 "Just how serious this show is after the first season, all of the foreshadowing, each character's arc and how much they've changed compared to now!"

 "I want to tell you everything, but at the same time I don't want to spoil stuff." Steven's started to float while he was talking and he hasn't noticed yet. "There's just so much that's better appreciated when it hasn't been spoiled and I haven't even talked about—"

 "Steven, the ceiling!"

 He looks up and floats in place, just inches away from hitting his head. "Thanks Connie." Steven starts to float down.

 "No problem."

 "Why didn't you stop me when I was starting to float?"

 Now it's her turn to fluster him, she gave a shy smile and said, "Sorry Steven, I was distracted with how cute you are when you're passionate."

 He was so flustered that his powers failed him at that moment and he fell on the bed, bouncing both him and Connie a few times.

 They were both giggling as they laid together on the bed. Steven teasing Connie about using the line he used earlier... until they notice the mess that was made and cleaned it up.

 "This show means a lot to you, huh?" she says as she collects the toys that fell onto the floor.

 "Yeah... I miss it," Steven helps in collecting the plushies. He grabs the Spilled Milk and Glum Glass plushies and keeps them together.

 They both help each other in fixing the comforter on the bed and laid back on it.

 Connie can hear him sniffling right next ro her. Guess he's skipped the other stages of grief and went headfirst to depression.

 "Why did it only sink in now? I'll never see these characters again!"

 Okay, that's it. She needs to tell him this. She turns Steven around, looking him in the eyes.

 "You can always rewatch the show, right?" A nod.

 "You can always make your own fanart, right?" Another nod.

 "And there's also other people's fan creations. Sure, the show's over, but people would still create more stories and art with these characters." Tears have stopped.

 "You can love and appreciate all of the content creators in that fandom and their creations, right?" A small smile. She's getting to him.

 "And even if it's over, you know that the show would always be with you, right?"

 "Connie, I thought you didn't like being saccharine?"

 "Steeeven," she was teasing him, and she knows he is too, "I'm trying to comfort you."

 "I know, just wanted to hear you say it, because you like me." They were giggling again, but when they were finished he was staring at her with a smile, "Thanks Connie."

 "You know I'll always help you, Steven," she smiled back at him.

 "Yeah, even with your college prep, you still—"

 "Wait, don't you have more stuff to do?" Steven asked, looking a bit worried. 

 "Today's Saturday, Steven." Connie reminded him.

 "Oh... yeah," he rubbed his eyes, "thought it was still Friday."

 "You stayed up all night, didn't you?"

 "Can't blame me for being excited, besides I'm not that tired."

 A yawn escapes him at the end and he settles at the bed.

 "Ok maybe I'm a little bit tired. Talk to you later?"

 "You know the usual time," she gives him a kiss on the forehead, "see you later, Steven." 

 "I'll see you soon, Connie."

 And she goes down to Lion, who just woke up.

 As Steven hears the roar of Lion's portal go out, he opens his phone and looks back on the picture of everyone in the show again.

 Connie's right, it's a part of him now. Every memory, every laugh, and especially every tear that's shed—of sorrow and of joy.

 "Thanks for giving me tears to the very end."

[jcmorrigan]

I don’t know if anyone here has been following the saga of my OC’s, which consists of me finally being brave enough to talk about them on Tumblr because what’s the use of guarding characters I don’t even have a manuscript for? And I wanna have fun. But mostly I’ve just been tagging fashion sets that belong to them, and as of late last night, too many prompts

I had been attempting to write a piece that introduces my villains in a SERIOUS manner by showing off the evil circus I plan to house them all in where each has a different tent they devote to an “act” that’s really their brand of villainy (dancing with deadly weapons, serving poison at the drinks garden, slaying innocent monsters for show, training horrific monsters from the deep sea), but I keep slacking on it, and I also keep adding new villains to the mix that would shake up the outline, so that’s stagnant.

But you know what I did figure out? Last night, I found a prompt that asked which of my OCs would go to Wal-Mart at midnight for fun. And my answer was that Alivain (the villainous leader, a smug young man who is not at all a Mozenrath ripoff) would take all his villain bros to Wal-Mart for a legitimate errand run, then turn around and realize they had all immediately scattered and just go “Oh no.” So here, I’m gonna introduce you to my villain squad by telling you what shit they would start in a Wal-Mart

Versafina is a weapons aficionado, so she’s gonna be looking for things that she can add to her repertoire of melee weapons. Especially small things that can fit in her hidden pockets...and not get noticed by security as she smuggles them out without paying. She spends way too long in the hardware section trying to figure out if a socket wrench is as good for scooping out eyes as she thinks.

Phantasia is busy giving herself a makeover in the cosmetics section, being the glam queen she is. She’s also opened it up for any teammates to come up to her and receive makeovers. She’s not paying for any of it either. Phantasia has also tested all the spray perfumes, then ran out of skin to spray, so she dragged Anastasios over. Anastasios is the physically oldest of the group, a rather elderly man who is about done with all these rowdy millennials (he’s just the character that’s there to say “OK Boomer” to), and he wanted to actually shop for the thing Alivain wanted except Phantasia is using him for more test perfume sprays and he won’t admit he likes smelling pretty.

Zangary is my resident monster hunter and also one of the sane men in the group and he probably ACTUALLY went to get what they came for in the first place and paid for it like a normal person, but no one noticed because no one expected anyone to actually do that. (*sweats nervously* Stoic monster hunter who wears purple and is shippable with the attractive sorcerer? I...I didn’t...it’s not the ADJL Huntsman no)

Dweixyn is lazy as hell and just found some patio furniture to collapse into and take a nap. Except she wears sunglasses everywhere she goes for the aesthetic, so the staff members who pass her briefly don’t realize her eyes are shut at first.

Belador wants two things out of life: to blow things up and to party hard. And because it’s probably not a good idea to blow up the Wal-Mart right now, he’s in the process of attempting to arrange several electronics and lamps to create a tiny pseudo-nightclub. He may also have hijacked the PA system for this purpose and is blasting techno.

Yridel is an angsty cyborg. She went right to the electronics section to see how many things she could connect to and corrupt. Eventually, she found a portable speaker through which she could just blast “Born Depressed” by Drill Queen on repeat, because it’s #mood for her, and just starts strutting around the store doing this to show off how edgy she is. Her snooty boyfriend who is usually narcissistic except when it comes to her, Lainnhartt, is following her and tossing confetti or an acceptable substitute in her wake, going, “That is my GIRL!”

Sherida is a monster who has a humanoid body, so she usually wears a bodysuit and a motorcycle helmet to pass among the general public. Well, tonight, she’s decided to take a walk in the mostly-deserted Wal-Mart with her helmet off so she can have a breather, but she came across some midnight shoppers who saw her paper-pale skin with blue veins, her lack of nose, her slit-pupil eyes, and her wide mouth full of fangs, and started panicking. So Sherida did the reasonable thing and began to eat them right there on the floor. Blood everywhere.

Lirian and Calpurniko are two teen girls - though Lirian is actually Fair Folk and has been alive for hundreds of years, but physically and mentally, she’s a teen. Lirian is a yandere and very exciteable; Calpurniko is a doomsday-device mechanic on a constant sugar high. So the two of them head right to the toy aisle to have a Nerf gun fight. Which is all fun and games until Calpurniko disappears into the hardware section for fifteen minutes and emerges with an augmented Nerf that can shoot (poisoned) foam darts at actual ballistic speeds.

Rachneira and Tomagi are also teens. Rachneira is a morbid Goth and also a variant of Fair Folk who is derived from spiders and therefore can spin webbing (and maybe has four arms? Undecided). Tomagi is an angsty sorceress who is mute. So the two of them decide to rifle through the cheap DVD bin, as kids do, and Rachneira keeps pulling out increasingly more disturbing horror films and stating in an ennui-laden tone that Tomagi should probably see them all before she dies. Then security blows by on their way to stop Belador from creating a mini-rave, they realize these kids are with the troublemakers, they turn on them, and Rachneira just webs her way up to chill out on the ceiling for a bit (as you do) while Tomagi gets angry and magically blasts the guards across the entire store, taking out several shelving units.

Diamandian puts on the airs of being a high-society man. What he is is a former manservant who killed his employer and usurped his fortune. He carries a white lace parasol wherever he goes. He heads right to the clothing section for the entire purpose of roasting every piece he finds, ripping it all off the hangers and throwing it to the ground because it’s all “Trash for the peasants!”.

Maraya is a pirate queen who is also an Eldritch Abomination thanks to an ancient tome of horrors. (Pink skin, silver or purple hair, the tattoos she previously had of nautical symbolism are now bright silver, pupil-less glowing eyes, stores a bunch of tentacles in her back.) She has a first mate, Soligeo, who has no eyes and many spidery limbs because he used the same book. Being that they’re pirates, they’re going to steal stuff, and they’re not gonna be subtle about it. They start ransacking the shelves and bragging very loudly about the fact that they will NOT BE PAYING FOR THIS. Unlike Sherida, Maraya doesn’t care so much about covering her monster exterior, and she likes scaring people for fun.

Kaxhalen is an intergalactic alien warlord (blue skin, silver hair) who acts like a stoic in the general public but is secretly neurotic and exciteable. He has sequestered himself in a fort made of bedding with several craft supplies he’s stolen to work on a therapy project.

Osmend Osmodias is a smug gambler, so he just sets up a shell game in the corner of the store and starts charging shoppers to find the hidden bean. When the guards try to oust him for soliciting, he argues that he’s not technically selling anything, and they can’t get anywhere unless they have the right charges on him.

Valencindri is this team’s token idiot and steals the toilet paper out of the men’s room, holding it up in triumph and screaming about how awesome it was that he got away with the (free) toilet paper without having to pay for it (it’s still free)!

Dr. Hope Lessness is a mad-scientist supervillain and sadist with cybernetic augmentations. She at first just starts breaking things at random to cause mayhem and monger fear, but then she hits the electronics section and gets distracted trying to wire together an iPod with a Fitbit and hook them to a drone mechanism that is somehow also a weapon. Her snarky robot companion, Mercy Lessness, makes several cracks about her attention span that she doesn’t dignify.

Orianelle is a biker witch swordswoman who likes to dress in leather shorts and tanks. She heads to the automotive section to pick up supplies to maintain her bike, but then some jerk dudebro makes a pass at her and she suplexes him into the nearest shelf, which causes an outcry. This somehow tuns into a mass brawl with Orianelle knocking ten men unconscious.

EDIT: I forgot Siersyrei on the first go. She’s a werewolf, but the joke is she’s more like a “were-human” because she defaults to acting wolflike even when in human form and refers to herself in the third person. So she’s over here literally eating dog food and looking for any sudden motions indicating prey she can hunt until Lirian shows up with a laser pointer to drive her insane.

By the time security has dispersed enough to actually be a problem, Alivain hijacks the PA system to announce “I’m going to bomb the Wal-Mart,” which is his code word to let the others know that he’s going to bomb the Wal-Mart. Everyone evacuates, and he dramatically activates a bomb that reduces the store to a column of flames as he dances in the parking lot victoriously with his back to the carnage.

Also, Zangary probably bought the wrong thing, so now they have to find a new Wal-Mart and start all over.

[skamitaliasubs]

Rocco Fasano interview for Diregiovani

G: Here we are again live in the newsroom of Diregiovani. Sorry for the little technical problem. Should we thank Marco Zuccheroso? R: Thank you Marco Zuccheroso, I know you won’t disappoint us again. G: Let’s start over, even if you don’t need to be introduced: he’s Rocco Fasano, the star of Skam Italia, the web series most loved by teenagers and Diregiovani. I thank you for having accepted our invitation. R: Thank you. G: In this live, you have to feel free to do whatever you like. R: Amazing! G: Good. So, I wanted to tell you something: yesterday, when we announced your presence here, people wrote to us from China. So we say hi to the fans from China, ni hao. R: We thank the Chinese fan, thank you! G: She invites you over in China. R: Very good. G: And she sent us two questions for you. R: Ok. G: The first one is, how did you manage to play so well - she highlighted “so well” - Niccolò Fares? R: Well, first of all thank you so much for your compliments, and nothing. As I was saying earlier, when I got the call that confirmed me the role of Niccolò I was very happy, clearly, but at the same time there was a bit of worry in approaching a role that had been already played by Henrik Holm specifically, who did an amazing job. So surely there was a bit of fear. So I watched half of the season of Isak and Even, the Norwegian one, but then I stopped, because also with Ludovico Bessegato we decided to do a personal job on the script. Which is a personal case, indeed, detached from the Norwegian one to some extent, and I relied completely on his very wise supervision and I’m very happy to have done so. And I thank him. G: And then she wrote to us, how’s it been- What has working in Skam meant to you? R: It meant a radical change, in a lot of ways. First of all practically, because everything that Skam brought wasn’t predicted. I simply did my job in the most honest possible way I could. Then everything that came after surprised us all, because Skam Italia got really famous even in other parts of the world. But not only this; it changed me on a level of perception of other people: I mean, the famous phrase of Skam, which is “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always” is a thing that Skam makes you live throughout the seasons. And it’s something, when you think about it, that is not taken for granted. It seems taken for granted, but how often and how easily we judge, before getting to know someone? Or also, we use prejudices of any kind before approaching someone? And Skam, maybe, spying on the lives of teenagers, proves how hurtful it can be, right? And indeed Skam taught me this, to be aware of other people’s pain and to use less easily, you know, prejudices and preconceptions. G: Right, and this thing can be seen even in the number of fans that the series has. The third season is airing right now on TimVision. R: The third one, yeah. G: And while we wait for the live questions from the fans, I wanted to ask you: has acting always been one of your dreams? R: Yes. I have to say, acting has alway been part of my vision for my professional future somehow, because I’ve always had the feeling that reality was something a bit limiting and too narrow in which to live so I always looked, since I was little, for ways out that could have been like fantasy novels or tv series but not even those were enough. I really wanted to be part of that mechanism that actually creates other realities and this is something wonderful. G: And how did the meeting with Skam happen? R: It happened with a banal phone call from my manager who told me there was this casting. I did this audition, - two of them I think, two or three, I don’t remember - some of them were also very fun because in one of those I had to prepare a fake joint and it was a bit of a mess because I was embarrassed and I spilled all the tobacco on the floor. It was very fun but also very intense. And then Ludovico took his decision and told me and from that you know basically everything. G: You’re the main protagonist of season 2 together with Federico Cesàri. R: Cèsari, Federico Cèsari, yes. G: Cèsari, sorry for the accent. R: Whom I say hi to and whom I love a lot. G: Hi, Marti. R: Hi, Marti. G: And it dealt with the topic of homophobia and coming to terms with one’s sexuality. How did you approach this topic and how did you manage to combine it with the BPD of Niccolò without coming off as pathetic, quite the opposite? R: Well, first of all, as you well know, both the groups - the LGBT community and the people who suffer from some sort of mental illness - are very delicate minorities. So it’s normal, in approaching such a complex and kind of rare situation, to try and take it with responsibility and awareness as much as I could. I was, again, helped and supported a lot by Ludovico Bessegato and Federico; because without the beautiful relationship that he also allowed me to create, I couldn’t even have felt free to move in specific ways acting-wise. So I was definitely frightened, but, especially in retrospect, I am very honoured. The fact that like a lot of messages that we receive daily from people who have difficulties maybe because they don’t know how to come out to their parents or their best friends, or maybe they suffer from depression or BPD and they find comfort, but even more than that they find representation. Because Skam, in the way it’s been represented, I’d humbly feel free to say that it’s been done with honesty, both intellectual and ethical. So the teenagers, that are also a very complex audience because it’s not one that keeps what it thinks to itself, it’s an audience that speaks very boldly. I lost my train of thought. G: Train? Train? R: Oh, here it is. When they thank you because you managed to do some good or to make them feel represented, because they somehow can identify themselves with the character they see on the screen, thanks to the honesty in which you’re represented, then this is maybe a big step forward and especially it’s a big beautiful reason to do this job. Besides all the good things that come with it, besides giving life to aesthetically pleasing contents, I think this is the most productive way of using this audiovisual media, right? To make people feel less alone. To make them feel represented. G: You know, I really liked how Martino’s friends reacted when he introduced you to them. I really liked that. R: Yes, yes. Well, they’re really cool, they’re amazing - Ludovico Tersigni, Nicholas Zerbini, Francesco Centorame - they’re wonderful actors to work with and they played out a very spontaneous way of accepting the fact that their best friend had a boyfriend and it’s been really touching to watch. G: Yes. The second season of Skam received a lot of awards. The audience award at the first edition of Series Con, at the Diversity Media Awards 2019. This means not only a big satisfaction for the series, in my opinion, but also a slap in the face of homophobia. R: Absolutely. G: Would you like to say something about it, to all the people who are watching us? R: First of all I’m very very grateful because without you and your support there would be no awards, nothing of all this. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you to the producers of the series, thank you to Ludovico who directed us. It’s basically everyone’s merit if we reached these goals. Because they’re awards very- I mean, the Diversity Media Award is a very important award and I’m very grateful and very honoured. G: So, a lot of live questions are coming through. I’ll read you one from Valeria. What do you think has been your biggest success so far or the thing that gave you most satisfaction in life? R: Well, professionally speaking I can absolutely say Skam and Niccolò Fares. And I say this with a lot of gratitude and also pride. G: Thank you Valeria for texting us and thank you all. Sara asks you for some anecdotes from the audition. R: There’s this one that everyone knows of the tobacco spilled everywhere in the room. Other fun anecdotes from the auditions... I don’t know. I remember that I was sitting on the couch of the waiting room before doing the audition, and with me there was also Pietro Turano. And we were both unaware that we would be chosen in the series. G: Hi, Pietro. R: Hi, Pietro. And so I remember the thrill of that moment and it was really terrible. It was always a moment of great anxiety before doing an audition. I remember the gazes between us, the embarrassment, and then at one point arrived Ludovico and Federico Cesari, whom I didn’t know yet, and then nothing. We met inside and we did one of the auditions that I definitely won’t ever forget in my life. G: And did you also go to school with Pietro? Because I found out that Ludovica and Pietro went to school together. R: No, no, no. Nothing. We don’t have this is common. G: Did he ask you something straight away? Because Pietro asked Ludovica for a ride to get to the set. R: No, no. G: He behaved, then. R: I offered him a coffee, though, on my own free will. G: Luisa asks us: in your opinion, what school path will Niccolò follow? I hope they’ll allow at least him to stay in Rome. R: This we don’t know about, for now, and so I’m afraid we will skip this question. G: Well, maybe in the fourth season... R: I have no idea, I’m tight-lipped. G: I think we’ll find out, but we won’t tell Rocco. Angelica asked you, what has been your first impression about the cast of Skam? Did you hit it off from the beginning? R: Absolutely, Angelica, let’s say that the first impression has been of great acceptance. I have to be completely honest, from the first to the last person in the crew and the cast made me feel really at home. And it’s not something obvious, also because it was a show that had already had its first season so I was entering a family who was already assembled. But they made me feel warmly at home from the beginning. Which is fundamental to let an actor do his job. G: A lot of us are asking live, Rocco give us the pic of the dinner. R: Oh God, the pic of the dinner, right! But I promised, I didn’t forget. I didn’t. It’s in my archive, I had promised it to Antonia which is actually a fan from my same native city, Potenza. So I’ll send it to her, I’ll send it on Instagram. G: We want to see it as well, though, so you’re gonna post it as well. R: I already did, but they want me to send it to them and I think it’s in the archive or in the previous pics... But anyway, I’m gonna find it and send it to you. G: I vouch for him, he’s gonna send it. You’re sending it to us as well, at this point. R: Exactly. G: Ok. Alessia tells us, do you see yourself in any aspect of the character of Niccolò or of other characters? R: Yes, I have a lot in common with Niccolò. Even if he’s a character somehow different from me since he suffers from BPD and has his own sexual identity, I have a lot of things in common with Niccolò. In particular his fragility, his extreme fragility and vulnerability. And the process of opening he’s had with Martino has been a very beautiful thing for me to interpret; because especially in that period, during the shooting, I had a lot inside in common with the character and this helped me a lot in the more dramatic-ish scenes. G: Dramatic-ish, I like it. R: Dramatic-ish, neologism. G: Accademia della Crusca, please, “dramatic-ish”. Like with petal and “petaloso”, we can also add “dramatic-ish”. R: Exactly. G: So, I wanted to ask you a question. Asking permission to the fans, because I care. I’ve read that you’re studying medicine and you’d like to specialise in psychiatry. R: Yes. G: Is this passion of yours somehow connected with acting? R: In my opinion it is. Right now I’m taking exams of the fourth year, so I’m a bit behind. We can say that Federico Cesari is a student more brilliant than I am, surely, with more discipline.   G: How much did he pay you to say this? R: Zero, zero euros. On my own free initiative. G: A dinner, a dinner for Rocco. R: A dinner. Federico you owe me a dinner. G: Federico you owe him a dinner. R: No but, apart from this, I chose medicine primarily because the only aspect which I’m really interested in is psychiatry. Truly because I think there are a lot of common things with the profession of an actor. Because eventually it’s about the same subject, both the professions approach the same subject; at least if taken honestly and seriously, the job of an actor has to do with this, with some psychological architectures and clothes you have to wear and make tridimensional throughout time and space. Maybe the actor does that physically, while the psychiatrist has to analyse some misperceptions of reality. So in my opinion they have a lot in common. And then both cinema that, if we think about it, a mental pathology, they both offer a perception selected and sometimes distorted of reality. So there’s really a lot in common between these two worlds and that’s exactly what I’d like to look for. G: I don’t know why, but something tells me that someone there would like to have you as general practitioner. R: As general practitioner? G: Yes. I’m sure. R: It could happen, who knows. G: Which icon from cinema or theatre or history, literature, music would you like to play? R: To play? G: Yes. R: If I had to let dreams and imagination roam free, I’ve always dreamed of playing a character from mythology or at least some ancient folklore. For example, I’ve always loved the Arthurian saga very deeply. So my little dream was to play Mordred, because I really loved this character when I was little, I would read the books in my super nerd phase which has never ended. So, yeah, probably this. The myth, in particular, is a world that I would like to associate with my job, if it’ll ever happen. G: Now I have other questions. Arianna tells us, if you could have a season about Niccolò, which topics would you like to deal with? R: Well, I surely don’t have the power to choose or at least it’s not my role to decide these things, but if I had to, from my heart, I’d tackle very in detail the topic of his BPD which would really be an apocalyptic challenge. Because it’s really not easy to go in detail like Skam Italia did very often. If there ever will be one, yes, I suppose I’d like to analyse this. G: Speaking of anecdotes, since a girl asked you earlier, when you had to shoot the scene in Milano, naked, cold... I don’t know. R: No, actually it was hot. I was very good because actually in that moment, despite it being December in the series, it was July, we were in Milano and I was there with a bathrobe and this nude-coloured stuff that covered me. And Ludovico was basically on the terrace of the apartment with a walkie-talkie and when the action started I had to take off the bathrobe and start running. And all was fine, in the absurdity of everything, you do it. But at one point, Ludovico  talked with the person who was beside me through the walkie-talkie and was like “Look, Ludovico said that when they start shooting you have to run and scream at the top of your lungs Tabasco!”. And I said “Seriously?” “Seriously, yes” so I accepted. So I did it with all the possible commitment and eventually, at the end of the scene I went back to the starting point and through the walkie-talkie you could only hear buzz and a thunderous laugh basically from the room up there, they were splitting their sides laughing because of this and of course the Tarzan-like scream was cut out of the actual scene because evidently there wasn’t need. G: How international of you, the “commitment”. So, other questions. Giorgia needs to know; Rocco, is Niccolò in the same class as Edoardo? R: Boh. I don’t think so. I don’t think he’s in the same class as Edoardo, no. Niccolò was in... 5B? I have no idea, we should ask to who has the details of the script. But I’d say no. G: Now I have some curiosities. What’s in your wishlist? R: In my wishlist? G: I did this, I didn’t do this... R: Look, I have to be honest, I’m a person who’s pretty happy right now. It hasn’t been an easy road, because there have been a lot of personal, emotive and professional obstacles in the past but in the present I feel very lucky because I’ve lived a lot of experiences that when I was little I could only dream of. I was able to live them, especially thanks to Skam, and in my wishlist there is nothing but to keep doing this job in the most honest and of course professional possible way. And to meet Eva Green. Yeah, I’m so in love with Eva Green, it’s like something that you can’t cure. But since I was little. I’ve watched everything, from the most commercial things to the least ones, interviews... I really adore her, I think she’s a phenomenal actress. If I ever got to meet her personally, I think I’d pass out, something like this surely. Afrasia. Only Tim Burton came here. By the way, Federico was at the premiere and I called him and was like “Is there Eva Green? Is there Eva Green?” because if she had been there I would have found a way to go, slithering, I would have found some way. G: I’m launching the hashtag #SeCeStavaEvaGreen (”if Eva Green was there”). R: Se ce stava Eva Green. G: But she wasn’t, only Tim Burton. R: The wonderful Eva Green. G: Exactly. I have other questions for you. Elisa asks us, the scene that you liked shooting the most during season two? R: Maybe a bit “self-harmingly” the first scene of episode 10. That’s to say the one in which Niccolò has his lowest moment after running naked with 4° and everything. And he’s there and he’s about to tell Martino that, as you see in the scene, that he thinks it can’t work because of his problem. That scene has been really my favourite because I felt a strong connection to the character that hadn’t happened in any other set before. A beautiful perception of the work. That one, even if it’s been painful because really it’s been hard but yes, that one. G: I wanted to tell Elisa, “se ce stava Eva Green”. R: Se ce stava Eva Green, yes. G: The last question, from Agnese: you said often that the key word to describe Niccolò is “vulnerable”. In this season it’s beautiful to see him officially part of the group, thanks to Giò for passing him the Roman accent; how do you think Niccolò has changed in this season and how did he deal with the storyline of the homophobia against Martino? Bye Rocchino, a hug and a kiss. R: Well, certainly the vulnerability is an important word, in my opinion, to understand the character of Niccolò. This is true especially in the second season, clearly, where it happens what happens, but it’s always part of him because anyway he’s a particularly fragile character due to all the problems and his condition. Clearly his beautiful fragility has been combined to the love for Martino and the love he receives from Martino and so I think this is his big anchor. I really think I can suppose that. And in this season, of course our storyline has been more secondary and that’s fair because we focus on the story of Edoardo and Eleonora, but yeah, a Niccolò maybe a bit stronger  thanks to Martino. G: I thank everyone for the questions you’ve sent us and for watching. R: Thank you. G: If you think I’ve forgotten about the chicken dance... R: The chicken dance! G: Think again! R: Come on, let’s do the chicken dance, but you do it as well. G: I’m doing it as well. Very beautiful. R: Always the #SeCeStavaEvaGreen. G: I launch it, so write it to us and bother him with it in the comments. And if Eva Green was there? R: If Eva Green was there I wouldn’t have been able to speak, I probably would have been laying somewhere. G: The commitment. R: The commitment, in adoration. G: Thanks to Rocco for being with us. R: Thank you. G: I hope you had fun. For money and stuff ask them, I don’t- R: Yeah, yeah, I’ll ask for the bank transfer. 

[81scorp]

My thoughts on Tangled

(Originally posted as an editorial on Deviantart Nov 17, 2015.)

In my "More thoughts on Frozen" editorial I wrote: "I like Frozen. Though not as much as I like Tangled."So let`s talk about Tangled.

And at last I see the SPOILERS

I didn`t have high expectations about this movie. Based on what I saw from the trailer it seemed to be not much more than a silly romp with lots of slapstick, kinda like The Emperor`s new groove. I wasn`t really interested in watching it until I saw a trailer with the scene where Flynn and Rapunzel sits in a boat and release lanterns into the sky. I thought to myself: "I think I`ll give it a watch."

Then there`s the name. It was originally gonna be called Rapunzel, but the big suits at Disney changed it. It has been theorized that they did it because The Princess and the Frog, while not unsuccessful at the box office, was not as successful as they had hoped, and they were afraid that boys wouldn`t see a movie with the word "Princess" or anything feminine in the title. I think it was a very insecure move from Disney, it`s like changing "The Little Mermaid" to "Beached". If they had kept the name "Rapunzel" and marketed it the way they did, with the trailers focusing on The Emperor`s new groove-like slapstick while playing Pink`s "Trouble", I and (I`d like to think that others, as well) would still have gone to see it. You might want to argue and say that the name change was justified because they changed the story from the original fairytale. They changed the story of The Little Mermaid and The Hunchback of Notredam too but still kept the name of the original.But what`s in a name? Surely, an animated Disney movie about a girl with insanely long hair and the thief that act as her guide by any other name would still be as sweet. Insecure name changing aside, the rest of the movie could still be good.

My Brother and I went to see it in the cinema...IN 3D!!!

A few minutes into the movie we got something I wasn`t prepared for: A musical number... in an animated Disney movie. At first my reaction was "What?" But a part of me said "Yeah, and? What`s so odd about a musical number in an animated Disney movie? You walked into The Princess and the Frog fully aware that there was gonna be singing and liked it. You`re just a little surprised because you never saw any clips or trailers that indicated that it was gonna be a musical. Now shut up and enjoy this Disney musical damnit!"

But putting that aside, "When will my life begin" is not a great song to open with. It is VERY upbeat, modern and pop-ish, which, considering the 18th century world it takes place in, makes it feel very anachronistic.I liked it a little more after repeated viewings though, so it`s a bit of an aquired taste.A part of it that I did like (without repeated viewings) was the last part that begins with "Tomorrow night the lights will appear, just like they do on my birthday each year". This part of the song felt like Rapunzel`s more vulnerable side, like her true face under the mask of cheerfulness that we heard in the first parts. The chores and hobbies that she sings about (like puzzles and darts and baking) are what she does to kill time and the boredom of isolation. In hindsight, the title alone: "When will my life begin" pretty much verifies that.It`s not a bad song by itself, just maybe not the best song to open this movie with.You might wonder "Isn`t `Healing incantation` technically the first song of the movie and why did it take you till `When will my life begin`to realize it was a musical?"

Well, "Healing incantation" was the first song, yes. But unlike "When will my life begin" it`s diegetic, they could still sing it even if this movie wasn`t a musical. Diegetic music comes from a person or object in the scene (like a radio or musical performer), while non-diegetic music is external to the narrative. In Rocky II when Rocky runs down the streets of Philadelphia and the song "Gonna fly now" is playing, we can hear the music but Rocky can`t, it`s non-diegetic.

"Mother knows best" sounded better though, it felt more fitted for a musical. I like that she both figuratively and literally tries to keep Rapunzel in the dark in the musical number. James Berardinelli from ReelViews commented on his website that "the songs were neither catchy nor memorable". I don`t completely agree with him. Sure, a few hours after I left the cinema I didn´t remember most of the songs, but I did remember the chorus to "Mother knows best". Many like to compare Mother Gothel to Cher and I can`t say that I don`t see why. But to me she reminds me more of Edina from Absolutely Fabulous. Both call their daughter "darling", are selfish and one of the worst days in Edina`s life... was the day she turned 30! Another popular comparison is the one between her and Claude Frollo from the Disney version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Both keep a ward locked up in a tall building and tell them that the world is a horrible place. In a way Claude Frollo is the worse villain because he has more authority, he has power over the guards and by that, some level of control over the city. While similar, there are some small differences in their, for lack of a better word, "parenting skills". Frollo`s are more about being stern and controlling Quasimodo with a respect based on fear, while Mother Gothel is more about emotional manipulation and sending mixed messages. She gives Rapunzel subtle insults one minute only to add a little "just kidding, you know I love you" the next. On a large scale Frollo is the worst, while on a smaller, personal level Mother Gothel is the worst. There is a little bit of tenderness in her cruelty. One thing that bugs me is the glorification and romanticism of the age of 16. Appearently that`s the best age to be, that`s when everything great and magical happens. I thought to myself when watching Tangled: "Please don`t make her 16. Make her some other age or just don`t mention it." Rapunzel`s age was 17 and the next day she was gonna turn 18. I thought "Thank you Disney! Thank you for avoiding this clichè and overrated age". In a way it turns it into a metaphor for growing up, becoming independent and leaving the nest. Yes, she is technically still underaged at first, but it is she that is in charge and Flynn doesn`t try anything romantic on her until after she turns 18. But most important of all: she`s not 16.

I liked the reprise of "When will my life begin" better than the first version because, like "Mother knows best" the music and instruments in it felt more fitting for a musical. That moment before she puts her foot on her grass you could see in her eyes that it may have been a small step for man, but it was a giant leap for Rapunzel.

Which was then followed by the emotional rollercoaster known as "The bi-polar scene". In her book "Making a good script great" Linda Seger wrote that conflict is the basis of drama, and this movie has a lot of conflict without feeling overcrowded. There`s Flynn VS the guards of Corona and Flynn VS the Stabbington brothers, both over which one gets the crown. There`s Rapunzel VS Mother Gothel, Rapunzel wants to leave her tower to see the rest of the world, or at least the floating lanterns, while Gothel wants to keep her in the tower.There`s also conflict that adds comedy. There`s Flynn VS Maximus, which is an extension of Flynn VS the guards, but funnier. Flynn VS Rapunzel, Rapunzel needs Flynn as her bodyguard/guide through the dangerous outside world, so she hides his satchel and uses it as leverage. Flynn just wants the crown so he can sell it and get stinking rich, so he tries to manipulate and scare Rapunzel into giving up her journey to see the lanterns. Then there`s Rapunzel VS herself. While happy that she is seeing the world she also feels guilty over disobeying her mother, which leads to the inner conflict seen in the previously mentioned "bi-polar scene".

Maximus the horse, who I mentioned earlier is a great character and a great source of comedy. He`s like Officer Zenigata from Lupin III. Pascal adds a little comedy too but doesn`t contribute as much to the story as Maximus. My guess is that he was created for the same reason that Robin was created for Batman. The creators thought that it would be better if Batman had someone to talk and explain things to so he wouldn`t seem like a complete nutjob that talks to himself. I don`t have much to say about "I`ve got a dream", it`s a fun, likeable song one would usually expect the comical side-characters to sing. Is it just me or doesn`t the chorus borrow a little from "She`ll be coming round the mountain"?

"She'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes"

"Though I do like breaking femurs, you can count me with the dreamers. Like everybody else, I've got a dream."

(Sure, the melody isn`t identical but the structure is somewhat similar.)

Flynn refusing to sing (at first) is not exactly new for a Disney musical, it had already been done in Enchanted. However this was (to my knowledge) the first time it was done in the Disney animated canon and it was done much funnier.

The scene where Rapunzel and Flynn...

Flynn: Eugene.

What?

Flynn: Eugene Fitzherbert.

OK. where Rapunzel and...Eugene

are trapped in a cave that`s filling up with water is similar to the trash-compactor scene in Star wars: It`s the dark moment, the part of the movie where it seems like there is no way out and all hope is lost. I like this scene, not just because of the suspense but also because it is where they open up to and start getting to know each other. But because this not just a big-budget movie but a Disney movie, and no director wants to depress the audience (unless you`re Lars von Trier), we know that they`re gonna make it, we just don`t know how. In the campfire scene we get more time for character development. We already know Rapunzel`s backstory but this is the first time that Fly-... Eugene gets to hear it. We (and Rapunzel) also find out that Eugene was an orphan who took his name from a fictional character who was everything he wanted to be. Rapunzel`s inner conflict shows up here too, but this time with a downplayed, more serious tone and not comically exaggerated.

Eugene: And you`re still gonna go back?

Rapunzel: No! Yes. (covers her face) It`s complicated. I`m probably alone in this but to me Eugene`s name change feels like a reflection of the movie`s name change. Eugene changed his name to Flynn Rider because he thought it would sound cooler, like how the big suits at Disney changed the movie`s name from Rapunzel because they thought it would sound cooler.

Rapunzel: For the record, I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider. Not much to say about the reprise of Mother knows best except that we get to see the more Frollo-ish side of Gothel. Since the tenderness doesn`t work she now tries to make Rapunzel respect her through fear. I love the Kingdom dance scene. It`s like that scene from The Little Mermaid when Ariel visits the town with Eric and for the first time gets to experience the world of humans. It`s a great example of visual storytelling, no dialogue is used or needed. Just like Ariel, Rapunzel gets to geek out and and explore this new world, try new things, new kinds of food and immerse herself in new books. I love the music in this scene. It has a nice medieval-ish feel to it, the kind of music you`d expect to hear in this world and time. Another interesting touch is that it starts out joyful but there`s a small ominous tone that grows bigger and louder as the music plays, as if forshadowing an impening doom.

This is followed by another really good scene: Rapunzel`s parents, another great example of visual storytelling where no dialogue is needed, the animation says it all.

Movie critic and comedian Doug Walker said in his review of this movie that the voice acting on Rapunzel and Eugene could have been better, not that the actors did a poor job, he was just always aware that there was a person behind a microphone. Personally I had no problem with Rapunzel`s and Eugene`s voice. Mandy Moore did a great job voicing Aerith in the first Kingdom Hearts game and I didn`t even know (at the time) it was her. I was aware that it was her before watching the movie, but while watching it I had no problem separating the voice from the celebrity and enjoying the movie. I didn`t even know who voiced Eugene, I looked it up and found that it was Zachary Levi, Chuck Bartowski from Chuck. He did his own singing too, I didn`t know he could sing. Is there anything that intersect can`t do?

I mention Doug Walker because what he felt about the original voice actors is what I felt about about the actors in the swedish-dubbed version. Måns Zelmerlöw (Eugene Fitzherbert) and Molly Sandèn (Rapunzel) were not bad, I just didn`t feel as invested with them as I was with the original version. Moore and Levi both have acting experience and their voices had a certain maturity. Sandèn and Zelmerlöw are both younger, singers and hasn`t had as much acting experience as Moore and Levi. (Sandèn`s experience in dubbing is, so far, limited to two Highschool Musical movies where she dubbed the songs.) The parts where they sing sound great though. Now, with that out of the way...I like "I see the light", don`t have much to say about it though, but more to say about the scene where it is sung. It is beautifully animated and directed. Eugene having prepared the two lanterns, one for each of them, shows that he is willing to go that little extra length for someone else, something the old Eugene (or Flynn) would not have done so easily, if at all. Another nice little detail in this scene is that the lantern that is about to sink into the water that Rapunzel pushes back up into the sky is her parents lantern.

How Maximus managed to get help from the Snugly Duckling thugs is not hard to imagine. Most likely scenario: He ran to the pub with one of Eugene`s wanted posters in his mouth and waved it in front of their faces.

Thug: What is it horse? Is the guy with the big freaky nose and his longhaired girlfriend in danger?

Maximus would nod and the thugs would huddle and start planning Eugene`s escape.

Is it a stretch that Rapunzel can remember things from when she was just a few days old? Maybe convenient but not unbelievable, Rapunzel was born under special circumstances after all. If she has healing hair why can`t she also have a super-memory and (from what I`ve read on the Disney wikia) super-strength? Seriously, she carries around a large amount of hair that no ordinary human would be able to carry as easily as she does. "But how was Gothel able to overpower her?"

one might wonder. I have a few theories.

A: Maybe she isn`t superstrong, maybe her hair is just very, very light.

B: She has some form of psychosomatic mental block that prevents her from overpowering Gothel.

C: Gothel, who managed to beat both the of Stabbington brothers, is really really good at fighting dirty. Wouldn`t surprise me if she used Rapunzel`s long hair to her advantage. Near the end of the movie Eugene dies but is brought back to life by a tear from Rapunzel. Typical Disney death, yes, but it makes sense, more sense than the original fairytale. In the original fairytale the prince got pushed out of the tower by Dame Gothel and landed in thorns below that damaged his eyes and blinded him. He later met Rapunzel who`s tears restored his sight. Unlike the movie it was never (to my knowledge at least) established before that moment that she had any form of healing powers, it just happened because of fairytale logic.So, does Rapunzel have healing tears now or was all her healing powers used up in that one tear? Don`t know, guess we`ll have to wait and see. I`m fine either way.The final scene where the kingdom celebrates Rapunzel`s return is... not bad or unnecessary, it`s just not as good as the previous scene where Rapunzel is reunited with her parents. It`s as if the filmmakers were afraid that their happy ending wasn`t happy enough. It`s the part where all the Snugly Duckling thugs had their dreams come true, for me it would have been enough to see them just partake in the festivities since we only heard them talk (or rather, sing) about their dreams but we never saw them struggle for them. Then again, not seeing them reach their goals that they sang about would feel like an unused chekov`s gun. I think the part with the Snugly Duckling thugs would have worked better without Eugene`s narration confirming that they all got exactly what they wanted, but I`m probably nitpicking here. Even if it was a typical Disney "Look! Everybody gets a happy ending!"-ending it was short and wasn`t bad.

And who doesn`t like a drunken, flirting dwarf in a diaper?

Sure, it has a few flaws but it`s one of my favourite movies.

That`s all I have for now but I`m not done yet. More thoughts on Tangled coming later. I thought that all of my thoughts on Tangled might be a little much to read if put into one editorial, so I decided to divide it into two.

[carrotwine4captainhops]

Major Character Death as a creative writing tool

I’ve always been interested in the craft of writing. I’ve been mulling over the way Major Character Death is used as a tool in fiction for awhile, and after watching the extremely problematic death of Quentin Coldwater, (and the self-congratulatory responses of the show’s producers who apparently believe they invented the concept) I thought I’d give you the the high school level compare and contrast MCD essay you didn’t really need or want.

Before I start, I want to be clear that MCD as a tool is not a bad thing by itself. Many, many fiction authors use it in a very calculated way, and as long as it serves the story well, they’re doing their job. Many essays and books about the craft of writing discuss its use because it is just another tool in the creative writer’s tool box. When done well, it makes you cry in a good way; when done badly, the death feels like a cheap gimmick to force an emotion without doing much work as a story teller. The latter is definitely what happened with the season finale of The Magicians.

If season 4 of the magicians had been a novel, it would have been sent back for major revisions before publication.

The first MCD that came to mind while watching the season 4 finale of The Magicians, wasn’t technically an MCD, but may as well be: the ending of the Golden Compass trilogy. The two protagonists have recently fallen in love, and make the difficult decision to return to never see each other again as a way to save the multiverse from the damage caused by traveling between worlds. They won’t even be able to contact each other, and will have to live out their lives as if the other had died.

It was incredibly painful to read (it’s the first book I cried over), but it was beautifully written and a very logical conclusion that the author set up from book one. The books are about (among many other things) the failures of adults and authority when they make selfish decisions, and by choosing to put the health of the universe above their own happiness, they made the bravest, most adult decision they could. It’s a message about the hope that younger generations can fix the things that their predecessors broke if they’re brave enough. The Magicians almost had a similar message.

The second MCD I thought of was that of “Wash” from Firefly. Like a lot of other fans of the show, I got angry at this death in the movie Serenity (essentially the series finale of the TV show). Wash was the comedic relief and voice of optimism in a dark and dystopic show. While Quentin was clinically depressed, and, in the words of Margo Hanson, ”moderately socially maladjusted”, he also acted as the voice of hope to his peers. Both characters were the emotional core of their shows, which was a big reason why they were chosen by their perspective creators as the deaths that would be most felt by the audience. They both got a funeral scene, to really drive home how much the other characters (and by extension, the audience) would be impacted by their death.

In Wash’s case, having his death be accidental impalement during a crash didn’t feel entirely satisfying or necessary. It felt like a lazy way to make the audience sad and motivate the rest of the characters to Really Get That Baddie… BUT, this cheapness is balanced by the symbolism of an outlaw pilot literally dying at the helm of the ship he loved while trying to save the world. It also didn’t send any problematic messages to the audience. Wash was not the protagonist or a “self-insert” the way Quentin was; he wasn’t suicidal or part of an underserved minority group (and make no mistake, by making Quentin sexually fluid/bisexual, the producers signed themselves up for a more thoughtful treatment of his death, if it had to happen.)

The message from Wash’s death is one that is very familiar to readers of genre fiction MCDs: simply: “not everyone lives” and “people who put themselves in high-risk situations sometimes die”. Both of which are painful but fair messages to absorb.

This same tactic was used again by Whedon with Agent Coulson in The Avengers. As an optimistic “plot-armor-free” side character who had become a fan favorite, he was given an entire arc in the movie that the audience wasn’t expecting, made to be even more loveable, and then killed off in a long emotional death scene which was then used in the third act turning point of the movie. Whedon made it clear in interviews that the whole death was coldly calculated to squeeze emotion from the audience, and up the stakes in a way that a large body count couldn’t. It upset a lot of fans, it wasn’t perfect, but it was well done and fitting for the narrative and made the movie stronger, and, again, he wasn’t a member of a minority group. (And as a side note, a different creative team knew how popular Coulson was and managed to resurrect him for his own TV show and managed to do it in a way that wasn’t flip-his resurrection had consequences that lasted at least until season 5, the current season).

There is no mitigating balance to Quentin’s death. He was suicidal  from day one of the series, and he left via (a purposefully plausible) suicide. His first question, once he realizes he’s dead, is not, “Did the plan work?” or “is Eliot OK?” (the friend he’d been working so hard all season to save) or even “is Julia/Alice/Josh/all my other friends ok?” These are questions that would be plausible and fitting in a character who’s journey has about helping friends and the world out of tough situations. But no, the first thing he asks is “did I finally kill myself?” 

With one sentence, his character returned to the self-centered, timid, low-confidence, suicidal mess he’d been established as within five minutes of the show’s pilot. He had no self-realization until after watching his own funeral, at which point he happily and peacefully goes to heaven. At best, that’s heavy-handed symbolism. At worst, it’s erasing all of his character growth and making his entire story pointless, while sending the very dangerous message to the audience. 

The writers stated in interviews that they made his death all about suicide on purpose, and now (as of this writing) they continue to refuse to grapple with how problematic that is.

Another MCD that seemed to do the same thing was Tris from the Divergent series. Like Quentin, she was the protagonist. Also similar to Quentin, her arc was almost too on the nose: she was born into a clan literally named “Abnegation” and indoctrinated from birth to sacrifice herself for her community. She wasn’t even allowed to look into mirrors in case she caught even a smidgen of self-regard. And how does her story end? By her sacrificing her life to get the “big baddie” and save her friends and family. 

Like Quentin’s death, a lot of her character growth appeared to be erased in the last few chapters of the book. Prior to Book 3, Tris had been learning to question her upbringing, to think for herself, that it’s ok to look for happiness for oneself, and that selfishness takes many forms, not all of them bad. When she makes the decision to kill herself in the end, it left a bad taste in my mouth. The plot didn’t require her death, (for example, there were other characters who could have gone in her place, and as a leader at that point, the more difficult decision probably would have been to send someone else on that mission and learn to live with the guilt). Her death and the manner of it, seemed to say, “just kidding, actually the only way to realize your self-worth is to is sacrifice your happiness and entire self for your community.”

Sound familiar?

Quentin Coldwater was just starting to learn (and because he had an audience, to teach) many of these same things. For three and a half seasons, we see him form strong friendships (when he thought he couldn’t); help people (when he thought he was useless), pursue romantic relationships (when he thought no one could love him); he lives an entire lifetime with Eliot during a quest on alternate timeline, where he’s shown having to make the difficult decision every day, to stay alive, to keep working on the tedious and almost hopeless task of completing the puzzle to finish a quest, and then it turns out that the answer to the puzzle all along WAS that daily struggle. Later, in season 4, he tells us that he hopes to be a dad (again) someday; he shows more and more confidence in his magical abilities every season. All of that was erased by the way his death was written.

Even with the uneven messaging of Tris’ death, there is at least lots of room for interpretation. I believe the author was trying to show her final sacrifice as a way of reclaiming part of her upbringing that wasn’t toxic. The character went through a rebellious phase during book one, during which she seems to reject all parts of her former life, even the good ones, right after leaving the Abnegation community for the hedonistic clan of Dauntless. It would definitely be good growth for her, as part of self-actualization, to accept the good parts of her upbringing. I don’t necessarily believe that’s the message we get at the end, but we at least have the possibility. Not everyone has reacted negatively to the way Quentin’s death was handled, so maybe there is more possibility of interpretation than what I see. I’m willing to be proven wrong, but nothing I’ve seen from critics or the showrunners statements has yet convinced me.

Another (highly speculative), parallel I couldn’t help but make over the last few days, is between the Magicians showrunners’s treatment of this MCD and Joss Whedon of a decade ago. His recent fall from grace has finally allowed more critical examination of his past works, but I remember how, at his peak, he could do no wrong. He was the voice of hollywood feminism. He was lauded by critics, peers, and fans. Any voice that questioned him was mocked, dismissed, and even harassed. Anyone else remember when critics call “Dollhouse” a feminist show? None of that has not aged well, has it?

The Magicians producers, riding high off of critical acclaim of Quentin’s homosexual romance in Season 3x05, had ample chance to make the braver choice: to allow a queer suicidal boy make the choice to keep fighting every day despite how hard it was; To break rank with 99% of other TV shows and allow his homosexual romance to be explored and given the same consideration as the hetersexual romances. Instead, they made him kill himself and be happy about it, literally saying in interviews that he had nothing left to live for. Without even addressing his feelings for Eliot. They buried yet another gay, all in the name of a shock-value gimmick, and they think they’re being “revolutionary” and that anyone critical of their choices is “just sad”.

There are about a thousand different ways season 4 could have gone that would have made the writers’ intended message less problematic, more impactful, and more satisfying, and none of them involve a MCD OR a trite “happily ever after”. Consider, for example, that Zelda could have completed her redemption arc in some kind of sacrifice similar to quentin’s. Everett was much more her “big baddie” than he was Quentin’s, it’s just strange that she never got to really confront her mentor-turned-enemy. Consider that, since Quentin’s main focus and motivation all season was to get Eliot back, that he actually succeeds, but, their reunion and relationship is strained. If we must push this idea that “magic comes from pain”, think how much more painful it would be to be to have Eliot finally confess his love to Quentin, but now Quentin is unable to pursue that relationship because of all the trauma he’s suffered at the hands of Eliot’s possessed body all season. Consider that he finally breaks under the strain and excuses himself from further questing, which would easily allow Julia, Kady, or Alice to get more screentime. (I mean, this is just stuff off the top of my head. For a hundred other ideas, check out Archive of Our Own).

They did just about everything wrong with this particular major character death, and I don’t think their choice is going to age well in the years to come.

[ohlukcs]

                                                          – task 001 : ooc survey

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — sam !

AGE — 22

TIMEZONE — aest babey

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — um i have no freakin idea except definitely introvert, i would do the test but i woke up like ten minutes ago so i am no functional enough for that rn lmao

HP HOUSE — now listen i wanted to be a ravenclaw when i was 11 so i believe i have to stick to that, based on my values and who i think i am now i think it’d be more hufflepuff but 11 yr old me wanted to be the smartest bitch around so im a ravenclaw 

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i used to be, i graduated last year i studied film and television

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — ya! it was a lot of fun and i got to make a lot of cool stuff ! made a film that won best student horror at toronto short film festival so that was really fucking exciting

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im @spookyrps and on weheartit and pinterest 

DISCORD USER — im scared of bots so not gonna put the whole thing but im skelesam in the chat 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — horror, thriller, anything crazy and ridiculous and fun. starting to like comedies a lot now too but it really depends on how its made

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — oh boi um booksmart, the martian, whiplash, god help the girl, and the scooby doo movie. theres a million others i could put there but im just gonna go with the first five that came to mind or else i’ll be here all day (special shoutouts: bad times at the el royale, hereditary & midsommar, the new it movies, jennifer’s body, clue, the barkley marathons, harry potter series, se7en, and the saw franchise)

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the night circus by erin morgenstern

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — the room lmao

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — aquarius babey

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — i dont like follow it but i do like to read up on them and use the signs to help build my characters (eg. lukas is a scorpio and drea is an aquarius too)

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — almost exclusively tumblr but i was in a forum rp back in like 2009 or something lmao

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i do a lot of stuff based around film making, like everything from script writing/reading, production design, filming, editing, thats what i love to do. and i wanna be a gamer but i have a shit computer and very limited hand eye coordination lmaoo

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! —  ya ! i have a black cat named zelda who is admittedly a lil .... thicc. i love her so much and she barely tolerates me. she grooms me and my roommate bc i think she thinks she’s our mom and like she is tbh

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — search party, its so fucking good and funny and crazy and i love it. if u like zany comedies with a lil mystery, its really fun. big broad city vibes

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — um i dont think so, i think i’m very predictable in my media consumption lmao

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — bro its been so long since i finished a book, i think it was the miseducation of cameron post by emily m danforth. idk if i would recommend it, i think it depends what ur after from a book bc this was VERY DEPRESSING and threw my little bi ass through the ringer lol

CURRENTLY READING? — jonathon van ness’ autobiography over the top: a raw journey to self love (im rlly enjoying it so far)

LAST FILM? REC IT? — not technically a film but i watched unnatural selection on netflix last night and it fucked me up and i need everyone else to watch it so i can talk about it

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — gattaca bc of the unnatural selection viewing lmao, the cat and the moon to support my boi alex wolff, and knives out bc it looks so fucking good i wanna see it so bad

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — harry potter and the philospher’s stone probably. i used to watch it multiple times a year and now i watch it at least once

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — watching my fave stand up comedies lol. go tos are john mulaney and bo burnham

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — all time fave is the front bottoms but a more recent fave is rex orange county

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in 

ANY PHOBIAS? — not really

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — fuck no but i dont really lose my shit over them

BIRDS? — they can chill, except for emus fuck them

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — more cat than dog but i want a dog rlly bad

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — being talked over/ignored lol

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that i’ve met and become friends with so many cool people from all over the world ??? like what the fuck ???

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — i mean obv at the moment its alisha boe and alex wolff, but also love liana liberato, benedetta gargari, joe keery, really love using all the skam nl fcs, lili reinhart, oliver jackson-cohen, zoe kravitz, and probs a million more i just cant think of

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — literally all of them bye lmao

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — i luh me some pasta ok

WORST FOOD? — seafood lol i’ve never eaten it and i probs never will

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? —  i play a lil and wanna play more! atm i have a ps4 and i like to play a lot of like “””decision making games””” (until dawn, detroit become human, etc) but mainly i play graveyard keeper. currently saving to get a pc so i can play more

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — i said something about the barkley marathons before and i would just like to say netflix took it down recently and i haven’t recovered i feel like pure shit i just want her (the barkley marathons) back x

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — i follow a couple of the admins from my ooc blog and saw it was back (after never having time to join any of the other iterations of lockwood) and was like fuck it yk

[comicteaparty]

June 24th-June 30th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from June 24th, 2019 to June 30th, 2019.  The chat focused on Drugs & Wires by Mary Safro & Io Black.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Drugs & Wires by Mary Safro & Io Black~! (https://www.drugsandwires.fail/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until June 30th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Who do you think made the Worm and for what reason? Why does it seem to mostly be affecting Stradania and not other places? Do you think Dan’s implant can ultimately be fixed, or is he stuck forever away from VR?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What aspect of the world’s cyberpunk setting interests you the most and why? Alternatively, what aspect are you hoping to see explored a bit more in regards to how it affects the characters?

RebelVampire

1) Gonna be a bit depressing when I say the bridge scene where Dan almost threw himself off it. Which I'm gonna spoiler tag the rest of this just as a suicide trigger warning precaution. I was 100% right there in the moment with him during that scene. Like I understood why he'd arrived at that conclusion, and it didn't come off as patronizing as I feel a lot of similar suicide scenes often do in comics. This is a man who even I felt really had nothing to live for, as sad as that is to say. Not that I wanted Dan to die, of course, but I get absolutely why he would. And then when he's saved, I liked that he is angry about it. Cause that is a dark reality I feel too many comics shy away from. And just all that gritty realism really hit me in the heart. 2) I don't know who made the worm and I don't think it matters all that much. Rather, I think the reason is more important, and the reason I think is to either kill VR or draw attention to Dan's shitty country. Which I kind of want to believe the latter, that this is somehow politically motivated. Or even if its the former, the idea is to get ppl more politically involved. That being said, I do think it's someone in Stradania who made it. As for Dan's implant being fixed, I don't think so. I don't think he'll be let off the hook that easy, and that he will continue to have to face his awful world for what it is, garbage and all.

3) Dan because he is the delicious epitome of a flawed protagonist. He's not mean, but between his drug problems, his crappy attitude towards most people, and so forth, he's got some real issues to work through. But that's great, cause at least that makes the few steps forward he's taken more satisfying. Since he's not getting those steps easy. He has to basically crawl through metaphorical lava to gain even 2 cm. 4) I really like the world's integration of VR and cybernetics. Like it's not on the level it's just there, but there's businesses around it, slang around it, and so forth. It's presented as this super ingrained culture thing, and that is super hard to play off. And it's just really well-done to see all the ways that those aspects bleed into their lives, whether the invention was intended to do so in that way or not.

Historical Jesus

I'm about to catch up. gimmy some time

RebelVampire

itll be going for the rest of the week, so theres no rush.

snuffysam

1) My favorite scene is the basement wake. It's a cool way to introduce those side characters (especially Vlad), and we were shown how our protagonist is seen through other people's eyes.

Like, we as the readers get to see Dan's struggles first-hand, but seeing the way Dan's "friends" think of him as a mindless junkie is really eye-opening

Re-reading the wake chapter made me think of something regarding question (2). Rebel, you suggested that the worm may have been made to kill VR. Could the reverse be true instead? Vlad has this speech about how the victims of the worm are martyrs, and the rest of the cast groans... but maybe he's not so far off.(edited)

My favorite character is Lin. On the surface, she's a terrible, shady person, but she's got heart where it counts! (in a trunk with a bunch of other organs)

Though I also really like Dan, for the same reasons as Rebel. He starts off in such a terrible place, and watching him take baby steps towards improvement is... honestly, uplifting, even if he does sometimes take some big steps backward.(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Do you think Dan will manage to find Eve again? If so, how might that affect him? Further, what do you think Dan’s past history is in general with his family and others that might play a role in the story?

Historical Jesus

Is the person writing this comic Russian

RebelVampire

cant speak for Io, but while not from Russia, Mary does speak Russian

Historical Jesus

SHe might have had family immigrate from Russia. This story just feels very Russian in the sense that everyone is down on their luck

But yeah. This story is freaking great!

Cryo

Hey, Mary here! I'm a Russian from Latvia, Io's German but I usually consult him on any Russian bits we have in the comic : D thanks so much for reading, loved seeing all the replies so far!

Historical Jesus

It's you

@Cryo Do you have experience with information security or bug hunting?(edited)

I mean, you sound like you REALLY understand hacker culture(edited)

Historical Jesus

ok I finished

1: Favorite scene? Hard to tell honestly. I like them all for different reasons. It's the continuum of the story I appreciate. The fact I'm always wanting to see what happens next? 2: Who made the worm. I've noticed that people who were infected had illegal copies of software. From a cybersecurity perspective, worms only work when either (A) someone finds a vulnurability that has never before been seem or (B) people don't update their shit for whatever reason. Hence why most software schedules mandatory updates. This could just be the inevitable conclusion to using pirated or older software. 3: Favorite character: Dan. I can relate to him the most. I don't do party drugs, just psycodelics.

4: Favorite aspect of cyberpunk. Historical relevance. In our past, rulers were privileged to rule because humans believed they were "ordained by God" to rule. European philosophers then said that the right to rule belongs to those who become the height of natural selection/ The premise being that there is no god and that we are "free agents" with "free will." No one is entitled to anything unless they produce something of value. This made perfect sense when manual labor was relevant and everything had to be done by hand. This includes pen and paper math. Hence why pay is exclusively based on labor value. Enter the age of technology fucked this up. Capitalism today is STUPIDLY efficient. We WHOOPED natural selections ass. We also learned that humans can't simply "change their outlook at will." Humans are mortal and are not much different than machines. The have needs and all that pesky human stuff. Some people could argue that healthier people have more free will than others, but poverty is the inevitable conclusion to this "free will" "labor value" mindset. But people think principles are sacred and set in stone. So what we are seeing is devalued labor and everyone becoming more poor and the formation of corporate oligarchies and dependences. Cyberpunk was WAY ahead of it's time in seeing this. We need to revisit this genre because I sure as shit don't want to live under a global illuminati with hard line cultural segregation.(edited)

Cryo

No, no real hacking experience here, I'm a 3d modeller by trade. We do our research when we can but our readers are a lot more technically minded than we are :p

Historical Jesus

I love 3D modeling

Attila Polyák

I'll be totally honest your work didn't really catch me at first, but I kept reading. Aaaaand dang that was a good decision. This is genuinely well made. I'm only at the end of chapter 4 but that bridge scene was great. I'm pretty sure it'll be my favourite scene but I need to read the rest first.

Historical Jesus

I have one of two options in life. Make high detailed models to sell on Gumroad or make comics. Gumroad will require constant adaptation to new software, but I already have my comic story structure fgiured out

Cryo

@Attila Polyák thanks for giving us a chance! Hope you enjoy the rest ( though chapter 5 is a lot less dramatic in comparison!)

Historical Jesus

Do you have a resolution in mind or are you just making it as you go?

Cryo

Yeah, we know where we're taking the story, but how it gets there can vary. Lots of the scenes we wrote years ago have to be tweaked or redone entirely to work

Historical Jesus

If the "free will" capitalist have their way, then we can expect the future to look very similar. Lots of poor people using lots of old tech. All software and hardware is closed sourced and locked down.The division between rich and poor will be larger than ever. Many of the zero days will be state sponsored much like they are now and they can use this to legally infect people and categorize them and use their own information against them if they ever become a threat to the state or the rich tech oligarchy

When I read this I got sense of creepy forcasting

More kids are playing with the Linux Kernal than smoking cigarettes so we might be ok

Historical Jesus

5: Favorite illustration? Anything that involved gif animations. That's not to say it should be overused but it was used at the right time

6a: Will Dan find Eve again? Probably. Since Cryo has a conceptual end in mind, I imagine she serves a key purpose in the plot. If they don't then it's likely that their actions will effect each other in some way.(edited)

6b: What is Dan's history with his parents? Let's look at who Dan is now. He's a poor drug addict who has had a dead end job. Yet he is not an overly angry person. Just depressed. He hangs around computer poetry people and other drug people. As a person who has experience with drugs, I noticed three types of people who do the dangerous drugs. At least in the US. They are... -People who have had repressive or needlessly strict parents. Thus overdoing drugs becomes associated with freedom and eventually a point of rebellion. But you can do too many of them. -People who are poor and need to sell them because they are poor. Naturally many of them do the drugs themselves so they naturally become addicted. -People who's parents are drug users themselves. The people who teach are schools will tell you it's that "people are trying to be cool" and it has nothing to do with that. Truth be told, they are hiding something. There is also a lot of dark racial history behind enhancing substances and the law and that can influence people's decision to take them, but I don't want to get into that because I don't want to get booted from this server.(edited)

Historical Jesus

Actually, @Cryo, would you be willing to give us a brief personal biography? Also, if you are, then can you tell us about your parents, what they did for a living, and the income situation you had growing up.(edited)

Why am I asking this? I think we can come up with more interesting answers about the comic if we know YOU as a person and how that influences your writing. I was able to infer that this story sounded Russian as fuck. Since the setting was Russian, I figured you were either from there or had family there

We can give more interesting answers that can help you come up with more interesting writing

RebelVampire

@Historical Jesus Your questions are getting a little personal, and while I understand the logic behind them, keep in mind we're here to discuss the comic and not the creators' personal lives.

keii4ii

Yeah... I feel even if the creators are okay with discussing it, this stuff is best left to DM

Historical Jesus

I understand. I would like to give her the choice. If she chooses not to then I understand. Biologically speaking, I think art is meant to be personal.

keii4ii

(and of course, if they don't want to discuss it, no one should pressure them about it )

RebelVampire

yeah if @Cryo wants to answer that's fine. Just for the future please keep those sorts of questions to a minimum and watch the wording on them. Cause that statement did sound overly pressure filled.

Historical Jesus

of course

keii4ii

I don't think we should be getting further into this territory?

RebelVampire

Agreed. This isn't a really appropriate topic for #week_long_bookclub, @Historical Jesus and has little to do with the comic.

Historical Jesus

I understand. I'm trying to demonstrate the the relevance and the benefits of understanding the author as a person. And again, it's her choice to choose what she discloses.

RebelVampire

And again, I get the logic. But just not appropriate for this discussion.

Historical Jesus

fair enough. I just want it to be known

I rephrased the question so it's less assertive. I apologies, I suck with social skills. Hopefully by the time she reads it, then it will be more inviting for her.

RebelVampire

thats better wording for sure, thank you.

Historical Jesus

no problem

art was definitely designed to be personal. The reason why a lot of big budget art feels bland is because it's meant for everyone and they have to not get too deep into offending people. Because it has to make money. That requires the work of a true genius. D&W is specialized and it will attract a certain group of people. Mostly people who value anonymous culture like myself. Or so I imagine.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Will Lin actually go through with her plan to get into politics? If so, do you believe she can actually make a difference? What obstacles do you think she might run into, and do you think Dan will be of any help to her?

Cryo

(i would appreciate not having to talk about my life and anyones political beliefs neither here nor in DMs, thanks for understanding)(edited)

Historical Jesus

Understood

Historical Jesus

7: Dan, primarily because he is relatable. He would interact the way I would. Not having money sucks.

Historical Jesus

8: Will in go into politics? Probably not. She strikes me as a neroatypycal character. I could be wrong though.

RebelVampire

@snuffysam If the worm was designed to improve VR, I really want to meet the person who decided that making ppl martyrs was the way to go. Cause that's some backwards thinking, imo at least XD

5) There's a lot of really great ones, but I'm kind of fond of the illustration of Dan puking up rainbows. It's this cool mix of gross, psychedelic, and not what I expected. It expressed a lot of mood somehow for something that's less grand than I usually pick. 6) I think Dan will find Eve again, if only cause from a technical perspective she was introduced super early on to not be important. However, I think meeting her again is just gonna make him feel bad about himself as he realizes how little his baby steps of improvement are. In regards to his family, just gonna be bold and say my theory: his dad is part of that political group that took control and really hates cyborgs and technology and all that. Thus they were probably not the most open-minded and rejected Dan in multiple ways both through emotional abuse and neglect.

7) I like seeing Dan and Troy right now. Everyone else in the comic is kind of...shitty towards Dan. Like i know Dan isn't the greatest person, but I would hate to be in the situation where I'm constantly being told I'm a junkie who won't amount to anything. Which I mean don't get me wrong, those are interesting interactions. But Troy? Troy is this new person whose only experience with Dan is kind of a nice if not high tension one. Troy comes with a fresh, no prior knowledge of Dan perspective, and I think that's really interesting and gonna be a good way to shed new light on Dan's more positive traits. 8) I think Lin will try to go through with it, but I think Lin is fighting a losing game. Short of stuffing the ballot, I don't think those she's trying to help will vote for her. Instead they'll just bitch and be complacent to the world around them. But on that same vain, Lin probably could just stuff the ballots to win. I umm...honeslty don't think Dan can help her in anyway. Dan is really busy helping himself to suck less at the moment. XD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. What do you think Sandman and Fixer will find in regards to the Worm as the story continues, and what does the VR cafe Sandman has been hacking have to do with anything? How will Nate tie into this given he’s looking for Fixer?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Overall, what role do you think Troy will have within the story? Additionally, how will she get out of her situation with having no ID, money, or much in the way of people she knows?

Historical Jesus

9: The art against the web design literally looks like something we would see at Def Con

10: I image he has a lead. After all his motivation is revenge

11: it’s strength is that it's good at making people empathize with characters even if you can't relate to them

12: I don't think Troy will get out of her situation. If she comes back to the states empty handed she will be fired. It might be in her best interest to get wrapped up in finding the worm programmer

Typically speaking large scale worms are state sponsored but it's not clear how far this thing actually spreads.

RebelVampire

9) My favorite details so far have been the small things in the background. Like the random graffiti on the walls, the cracks and dilapidation of the buildings, all the small do-dads in Lin's place. Like none of that needs to be there to create a complete background, but it adds so much character to the setting and each character. So I really appreciate the extra mile taken for that. 10) I think Sandman and Fixer are gonna find that some corporation or someone high up on some food chain made it on purpose. As for the VR cafe? Honestly, I think it's a red herring and Sandman is making an excuse to target them just cause he hates them. As for Nate, I think Nate is gonna join the investigation team but also kind of serve as a negotiator between Fixer and Dan. Cause I don't think those two will get along without help.

11) I think this comic's strengths are a) the setting both visually and story wise, as it's a really strong and vivid setting. then b) Dan. It is very, very hard to write a character like Dan. There are so many things he does that could immediately make him unlikeable, what between the drugs, self destruction, and general assholeness to some of the ppl around him. but yet he is likeable. you do want to see him succeed and not suffer. yet you also still can acknowledge hes unreliable. its a great dynamic that lesser writing could not pull off. 12) I think Troy is gonna be their viewport into the corporate world. Which I think will play a role since there is a themeing here about evil corporations. Plus, she at least knows some stuff better than they do, as she already showed off at the VR cafe. But getting out of it? Nope. Shes stuck and probably gonna make another panicked call to Dan at some point. And Dan will be an angel and help again.

snuffysam

I'm going to go out on a limb here. Not only will Lin go through with running for office, she'll win. And she won't even have to stuff the ballot that much. But... I'm not sure her fight will be over there. After all, there's more than just one corrupt person in the country. I agree with you on the investigation into the Worm, @RebelVampire . I think someone up the corporate ladder is responsible. With that said, I don't think Sandman is targeting the VR cafe for nothing. I think he's trying to draw more attention to their security flaws for... some reason. I guess to get more people involved in investigating? I doubt he foresaw Troy showing up and offering to upgrade the cafe's machines though, so I that probably isn't part of his plan. I think a major part of Dan's character arc going forward will be accepting that he doesn't need Eve. Like, accepting that he doesn't need her help to get better, and that he's the only one he needs to prove his progress to.

Dan's character writing is absolutely my favorite part of this comic. In a weaker comic, I would absolutely hate how a self-destructive character like Dan is portrayed. Like, often characters with addiction/other mental health problems in fiction come off as unlikeable, or too cartoonish, or too depressingly stagnant (at least, from what I've seen in other works of fiction). But Drugs & Wires strikes a great balance where character progression isn't always linear, and isn't always positive, but it's there, and that fluidity makes you want to root for him more each chapter.

Attila Polyák

Now that I finally read all of it... 1, The bridge scene at the end of chapter 4, that was really done. 2, Dan's implant... I'm pretty sure it can be fixed, but I have doubts if Dan will ever have the resources to have it fixed. As a matter of fact I feel like he'll never have the money or influence to have it fixed and the way it is he can't really replace it either, so... He's probably stuck without VR. 3, Lin! She's awesome! 4, Probably the grey market implant dealers, even though that's kinda bog standard cyberpunk stuff. :) 6, Yes, they will probably meet again. And yes, I do feel like we'll need to see more of Dan't past history especially about how he got involved in... well in everything that's his current life. 7, Nagy, as surreally odd, is a great addition to Dan. Like at times I thought his absurdity would actually help Dan. 8, Ofc she will, you don't forge that much "voter trust" for nothing. And Dan, tho probably seemingly unwillingly, will likely help her one way or another.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you think Dan will ever be able to kick his drug habit, or will he continue to fall back into it forever? How will this affect his relationships? Further, how will his habits shape his future role in the story?

RebelVampire

13) I'm looking forward to getting more info about the worm. Cause right now I dont feel any more knowledgeable than I did at the start, and I'm itching to see Sandman, Fixer, or Dan to somehow get a bigger clue to what's going on. 14) I think both will apply. In that Dan will kick the habit eventually but will always be at risk because addiction is not really something you just completely cure. It's a battle he'll have for his entire life, even if he learns to manage it. As for for his relationships, I don't think it'll have much affect, tbh. Maybe things with Lin will improve, maybe Eve. But everyone else is kind of a jerk who already writes him off. Dan is in need of a fresh start somewhere far away.

Historical Jesus

13: Same here. I would like to know more about the worm. I hope that Cyro puts a cool technical characteristic into the worms behavior so that creates interesting and unique challenges for the characters 14: Statistically speaking most people do not kick their drug habit's. Especially not in the position he is in. Based on the story's cultural nature, I doubt the ending will be happy. But I am sure it will be interesting

Cryo

Thanks so much for picking and reading our comic this week! I've had a great time reading all the replies, especially since we don't hear from new readers often, and it's gonna come in handy when we get back into writing more stuff for the comic.

snuffysam

I had a great time reading it, Cryo!

Io.Black

Just wanted to add my own thanks to everybody who took the time to read and comment this past week. As a writer, it’s always incredibly valuable to get a sense of what people are taking away from your work, as well as where they think it’s headed.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Drugs & Wires this week! Please also give a special thank you to Mary Safro & Io Black for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Drugs & Wires, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.drugsandwires.fail/

Drugs & Wires’ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/drugsandwires

Drugs & Wires’ Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/Cryodraws

Drugs & Wires’ Merch: https://www.hellovoid.online/

Safro’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/marysafroart

Io Black’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/b_iologic

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘Moon Shadow’ Review

"Fear is order. Fear is control. Fear is safety."

Season two of American Gods wraps up. It was... a little confusing. The episode, not the season. Well, actually also the season.

Much like 'Donar the Great' a few episodes back, 'Moon Shadow' had a lot in it that felt very Fuller-esque. So again, I ask myself how much of the planning for this was already underway before his exit from the show. Quite possibly none, and it's just the result of a DP or one of the designers having a similar artistic taste, but it seems to carry across all the elements of design, from sound to shot composition to the visuals.

Take, for example, a moment that I've seen now in a couple of places questioned as, 'What the hell was that about?' I refer of course to the gorgeously framed close up shot of the snails on the side of the burial vault. Fun side-fact, I had to look up what exactly those above ground stone things that Shadow was lying on were called and was informed that they were very common for Egyptian Pharaohs. Nice detail work there, set designer or whoever made the decision to have them in Jaquel and Ibis' cemetery.

Now, the contrasting image of Shadow sleeping on top of the Vault, then waking to find Laura sleeping on the adjacent one is a very nice, if not overly subtle, 'in life we are in death' visual. Particularly given the characters involved. But then they up their game and open the morning shots with that close up of the snails clinging to the side of the stone monument. This is a great shot for a few reasons, but it's there for a very Fuller reason. It's a stark visual of gross, complicated, uncomfortable life clinging on in the face of cold, unalterable death. It's the same message as Shadow lying on the thing put in a much more confrontational way.

But I appear to be waffling in the little details instead of looking at the big picture, so let's look at that big picture.

There are a few ways to wrap up a season finale, but two of the most popular are either by building to a spectacular reveal of something that changes our entire understanding of what we've seen before, or arriving at a climactic plot development. Both of these can either be something completely out of left field or the final realization of something that's been slow burning for a long time and is finally paying off.

Wednesday's reveal as Odin in season one's finale would be one of those slow burn examples of the former. Easter's decision to join Wednesday and unleash her power starting the war was the slow burn example of the latter.

This finale kind of attempts both, and while there's a lot I like in this one, neither of those threads feel like a complete success. Perhaps looking at the two of them individually will help me parse out how I feel about this episode, because, honestly, seven or so paragraphs in and I'm still not 100% certain that I know.

So, clearly the big reveal here is that Shadow is Wednesday's son and has some sort of powers. This is, to be fair, a huge reveal. But the problem is that they've sort of half revealed it at least three or four times this year, and so the net result is not unlike when your sassiest friends comes out of the closet to you and your first reaction is 'Oh, did we not already know that? I thought we were already clear on that.'

Side note: that's not a helpful thing to say to the friend in question, should the occasion arise.

Since almost the beginning of the series fandom has been more or less convinced that Shadow is Odin's son Baldr. Or Baldur, or Balder. Old Norse didn't have a strong written component outside of a limited set of runes, and the written forms we understand of it today were almost entirely imposed on it later. Thank you for indulging me with sharing that. Orthography is one of my favorite things. Orthography and assembling flatpack furniture.

Ahem. Fandom has long believed that Shadow is going to turn out to be Baldr. That's a nice, big reveal to end the season on, but by the time we get to Wednesday openly confirming it at the end of this episode we've already heard him talking to young Shadow in flashback while Shadow's mom is dying and been nearly beaten over the head with the implication of Shadow's paternity during the discussion of his presumably half-brother Donar.

On the other hand, we have the plot development of Mr. World officially commencing what we might call the counterattack in the war by using the newly resurrected New Technical Boy to facilitate New Media in calling the entire world down on Shadow, Wednesday, and for some reason, Salim. It was clever of them to publicly use not just the bank robbery in Chicago, but also the massacre of the cops back in 'Lemon Scented You' and the alleged 'chemical attack' in Kentucky which was of course really Easter's taking back the spring. That all gave it a nice sense of all the multiple plot threads coming together organically, and was tied together well by New Media finally speaking to Shadow in the same way old Media did. That's the first time she's really felt like a continuation of the same character for me, and I'm down with New Media now.

That's all great. But it's tied in, in fact it's the entire impetus for, Shadow's big character transformation in which he learns to use what powers he has. Specifically, he seems to alter reality by reaching into his own memories to clear the police and SWAT units from the funeral home's vicinity. From what we hear over the news, he didn't change things so much that the cops aren't still looking for them specifically, but did make them 'un-know' where specifically they were hiding.

The problem is that I think more than a couple people will have read that last sentence and thought to themselves, 'Huh. so that's what was happening,' and therein lies the episode's real problem. I think the blame really can be laid to Yggdrasil in this case. Having Shadow dragged into the tree, on top of all the flashbacks and intercuts between dream and reality so that he can metaphorically and literally hatchet his way into the god-space, is just an overly complicated and muddy way to visualize that. And that muddiness really hurt the reveal that they were trying to make the big exclamation mark at the end of the season. Instead of coming away thinking, 'Wow, I can't believe what just happened!' the viewer leaves thinking, 'What the hell just happened?' and that's not a great note on which to end a season.

No Yggdrasil!  Bad Tree!  Put the nice man down!

Quotes:

New Technical Boy: "Hello, old friend."

Laura: "I am not my mistakes, Shadow."

Burial Vault Inscription: "She hath done what she could." That is just an incredibly depressing final memorial.

Mr. Xie: "Science is the closest we come to wrestling god." New Technical Boy: "Why would you want to…?"

Laura: "Planning on kissing me again? Cause I’ve had kind of a day." Bilquis: "My kisses have been known to improve a day."

Laura: "You don’t like him either." Bilquis: "Is that what your intuition tells you?" Laura: "No, I just know an I’d-like-to-punch-that guy-in-the-mouth-look when I see one."

Salim: "Sorry, I’ve never purchased liquor before. It’s for a friend. He’s a leprechaun. He died." Cashier: "OK."

Bilquis: "I’m a great believer in frankly assessing one’s situation."

Salim: "I don’t know what we are going to be, but I want you to know that I don’t regret any of it. You have taught me how to love."

Jinn: "You know me. Eyes of fire, shit for brains."

Bits and Pieces:

-- I suspect that Nancy and Ibis' conversation over the chess game is going to reward re-watching after all is said and done and the whole story is told.

-- I still don't entirely understand whose side Bilquis is on or what her goals are. She's certainly all right with Laura killing Wednesday and actually seems to consider the offer to join her. No Ruby Goodchild this week.

-- The first ten minutes with Mr. World and the 1938 War of the Worlds broadcast is hands down my favorite thing this show has ever done. A beautiful exploration of the interrelationship between fear, belief, and objective reality. Crispin Glover was born specifically to deliver that monologue.

-- I've come to realize that the most useful way to watch this series is to assume that whatever happens was the outcome wanted by someone, and then work backwards as to who would want that outcome and why. That also works for Agatha Christie books, by the way.

-- I liked the old Technical Boy better. He had much more personality. And while I get that they were going for fiber optics with the new costume, it ends up coming across as Green Lantern. Was that a Michael Green nod?

-- The echo of the opening War of the Worlds monologue sprinkled throughout New Media's on-air rant was very effective at bringing everything together. Nicely scripted.

-- I love the wall-size bas reliefs of Bruce Langley's head on the walls of Xietech. I need them in my home.

-- The NRA logo on the opening film card leading into a discussion of how creating fear allows you to control people was an inspired touch.

-- Here's hoping that Laura's running away with Mad Sweeney's body means that we haven't seen the last of him. Even though they're both dead, I'm still 'shipping them super hard.

-- The Jinn chose to protect Salim by taking him away, even though it means facing consequences for disobeying Wednesday. That's very touching. I assume we'll learn in season three why the Jinn is bound to Wednesday.  I very much hope it doesn't involve rubbing a lamp.

-- It's very in character that Wednesday's entire role this week was 'Go out for dinner and watch the pieces fall into place.'

-- It's strange that they went out of their way to remind us in the pre-credit sequence that Sweeney had sent the spear into the Hoard, and never got around to addressing that this week. Setup for next year I suppose.

A mostly enjoyable season finale with some very high highs and some very low lows, which sums up season two in a nutshell. Still, any series that gives me this episode and 'Donar the Great' in a single season deserves to go on for many, many years.

Two and a half out of three graveyard snails.

P.S. please bring Chris Obi back next season.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.