#like oh we popped off today king

[ashoss]

sometimes i play this little game when i open tumblr called “can i guess how many notes i have” and before my screen loads i have to guess what the number will be and if im close my brain releases dopamine and the reward pathway lights up and if i dont get it right i get shot down by a sniper

[sandpapersnowman]

at work there is this one very nice gay dude who comes in out of nowhere every few months and is like It's Me. I Need More Pictures and he's a treat Every time. king of glamour shots

[fairyysoup]

his hands

pairing(s): hairdresser!eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: How do you make getting a haircut an erotic experience? You have Eddie Munson as your hairdresser, of course.

cw: explicit, smut, unprotected piv sex, mirror sex, workplace sex, hand kink, choking, dumbification, dom!eddie, touch-starved!reader, semi-sort-of subspace happenings, referring to genitals with gendered pronouns, slight body worship, getting weirdly horny over a head massage, sexual tension, negative self talk, hair cut/style mentioned but no description of hair color/type, the aftercare is the haircut lol, implied 90s au, eddie's like 30, reader's age unspecified, eddie is employee of the month in my heart, not proofread, no beta we die like men

a/n: this is weird. and came from an interesting experience i had at the hair salon. and yes that is corpse's hand in that pic i didn't want to spend all day looking for a header pic shut up shut up shut up

ALL MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI

Your hands twitch on the copy of Elle magazine in your lap. The familiar waiting area of your local salon has new furniture, which still smells a bit like the cellophane it came wrapped in, and hasn’t been worn out by patrons just yet. You’d asked for your usual stylist, Melissa. Except, you haven’t been here in so long, and apparently Melissa doesn’t work here anymore. 

“We have a new stylist in her place,” the greeter at the front desk told you kindly. “I could fit you in if you’d like that same station?” 

The station doesn’t matter to you; they all look the same and have the same tools. Obviously, when it comes to getting your hair cut, the stylist makes the difference. But, since you’re a couple months too late to catch up with Melissa, a new stylist is who you’ll be working with. 

The PA still plays some sort of weird pop-rock fusion that mixes Nat King Cole with Billy Idol, but you just try to focus on it to keep your leg from bouncing. You always get anxious like this when you come in for an appointment, even though you always tell yourself the same thing. It’s just hair. If you don’t like it, it’ll grow back. Or, if worst comes to worst, you could always shave it.

You hear your name being called, and you look up to the person who’d just approached the waiting area around the partition that blocks off the styling area. You blink, your mind going fuzzy as you try to make sense of what you see.

“Looks like I’ll be cutting your hair today,” the man standing at the end of the row of chairs says, with a grin that puts boyish dimples on his cheeks. “I’m Eddie.”

Eddie the Hairdresser is a bit more than you can handle right now. Between his long, curly hair, and the shirt he wears that gives you a view of the tattoos crawling up his arms, you think your knees might already be made out of jelly as you try to stand. But then he sticks out his hand for you to shake, and he’s wearing big, chunky rings that glint in the light, and you think you might swoon like a Victorian damsel.

“I’m, uh–” you begin intelligently, as you fit your hand into his big one. He squeezes just the tiniest bit and smirks at you. “I– I’m trying to, uh–”

“First time?” Eddie asks you with a tilt of his head. His brown eyes crease at the edges with mirth.

“Oh, um, no,” you mutter, looking everywhere but at his dimples. He has a tattoo on his neck of a dragon. You stare at it for a moment too long. “I used to come and see Melissa, forever ago.” 

“Oh! Yeah, Melissa was great. She trained me,” Eddie starts jabbering as he tilts his head and leads you around the partition. You’re met with the smell of hairspray and the sound of blow dryers getting louder. “She’s a hard act to follow, but I hope I can do well enough. Let’s get you started with a wash, hm?” 

You smile as he winks at you conspiratorially. You always feel a little bit awkward as you sit in the chair for the wash sinks, but Eddie ushers you into it with a little wave of his hand and gently– more gently than you can remember even Melissa being– lifts the ends of your hair and places a soft towel around your shoulders.

“What kept you away all this time?” Eddie asks pleasantly as he tests the water temperature. “Melissa’s been gone for a while.”

“Yeah, I, uh, I was working a lot,” you stumble into an explanation, your cheeks heating up a bit. It’s hard not to feel like you need to repent for not coming in to get a trim every month. “Last time I came in, I got my hair cut really short, so it wasn’t like I needed to come in for a trim for a long time, and by the time I really needed one it was long enough that I could do it myself… so, I just kept doing that.”

“So, what are we doing today?” Eddie inquires as his fingertips brush along your temples to tuck your hair back behind your ears and into the wash basin. With gentle prompting, he tilts your head back into the bin and begins to wet the ends of your hair.

“I figured it’s time I go short again,” you tell him, more confident than you really feel about it. It was a split second decision, one that you made because the reflection in the mirror was looking back at you with such a dead expression that you decided you needed a change in a bad way. For a lighter note, you supplement, “I’m tired of brushing tangles out of my hair every morning, and the other day I had a whole bird’s nest at the back of my neck, y’know.”

“Pssh, I know all about tangles. You saw my hair,” Eddie chuckles as the lukewarm water touches your scalp. Goosebumps rise on your arms while he rambles on, “I have to comb my hair wet or else I look like I got electrocuted. I never used to care about that sort of thing before I went to school for this, but once you start learning about proper treatment it’s kind of hard to ignore. I used to wash my hair with bar soap. Dry as hell, no conditioner. I’m surprised I got it long to begin with.” 

You find yourself smiling just thinking about it. “Bar soap? With those curls?”

“Don’t tell anyone, my reputation will be ruined,” Eddie leans down and whispers to you while he reaches for a bottle of shampoo. You hear a crack of a bottle cap, and then his hands are in your hair again, working the sweet smelling soap into your roots. “I’m trying to get employee of the month, but they’re never gonna give it to me if they know I used to sabotage my own hair with Irish Spring.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” you tell him sweetly, but you’re barely paying attention to his words anymore. His fingers are pressing into areas on your head that haven’t had a proper massage in forever, and months of tension headaches are being brought to the forefront of your mind. 

You never consider how oddly intimate having someone wash your hair is until you’re in the thick of it. Eddie’s thumbs massage circles into your occipitals with just a perfect amount of pressure, and the muscles down the back of your neck slowly melt and relax, moving with the swell of his fingertips. You suddenly feel very relaxed and very sleepy, and your eyelids drift closed as Eddie’s thumbs trace the line of your skull up to your hairline.

It even takes a moment for you to tune into the fact that he’s humming. Under his breath, he’s singing along to the notes of the song on the PA. He’s doing it in such a way that you’re sure he’s not even aware of it, himself, and you’d comment on it if you weren’t afraid that you’d embarrass him. His fingers are massaging circles around your temples now, and while you’re trying to focus on the sound of him harmonizing with the music, your mind is again trying to distract you with the feeling developing at the base of your spine. A ticklish, warm feeling spreads between your hips, disrupting the lull you find yourself in and forcing you to blink your eyes open. 

Oh, no. We’re not doing that right now.

You can’t say you’re surprised that this is your response. His hands are all over your head and you haven’t been touched by anyone in… well, a very long time, to say the least. You’re probably a little starved for it, all things considered. But this is really the wrong time and place to be getting turned on by a guy’s touch.

You shift in your seat, trying not to be too obvious about it when Eddie pulls his hands away and begins rinsing your hair again. Crossing your legs would be a dead giveaway, but the warm feeling is turning into a subtle throb between your legs, and Eddie’s hands are back on your head, now gently combing the conditioner through the length of your hair as though he’s petting you.

After a few torturous minutes of trying to ignore the blooming arousal deep in your gut, Eddie cuts the water and wraps your hair in the towel to secure it. 

“Now comes the hard part,” Eddie says, probably not meaning to make it sound so suggestive, but your mind seems to be taking its sweet time loitering in the gutter. 

You stare dazedly up at the ceiling. Now is the hard part?

Eddie leads you to what used to be Melissa’s station, and swings the swivel chair around for you with a flourish. “Step into my office, sweetheart. I’ll get you all dressed up in a sexy robe and everything.” 

You stifle a giggle as you slide into the seat. His “office” is one table in a row of other tables, and two feet away an older woman is getting her hair bleached by a girl with an undercut. As Eddie spins you around, the stylist shoots him a look. 

“He’s a shameless flirt,” she tells you, making eye contact with you in the mirror. Eddie lays a smock across your front and buttons it at the back of your neck.

“I’ll have you know, I’ve been minding my manners very well,” Eddie huffs with feigned indignation as he unwraps your hair and tosses the towel onto the table in front of you. He still winks at you in the mirror when he leans around you to pick up a comb. “So far.”

You can’t help the way that your jaw clenches. He’s really not going to make this easy on you. You wonder if he knows where your mind has been for the last ten minutes.

Eddie moves around to the back of your chair and presses on a lever to raise it up, but nothing happens. 

“Dammit,” Eddie curses under his breath, and turns to his coworker, who’s still loading tinfoil into the woman’s hair until she looks like something from Close Encounters. “I can’t believe you gave me the crap chair.”

“Early birds get the good chairs,” the stylist replies. 

Eddie sighs and turns back to you, and finds you looking at him curiously in the mirror. “This is the only broken chair in the whole salon, and everyone hates it, so it tends to move around. You never know if you’ll get the crap chair.”

“That’s sabotage,” you giggle.

“I know! So I have to bend down to style you, I’m sorry.”

“I think I can handle it.” You watch him give you a look in the mirror that makes you shift in your seat again. 

“So,” he begins, looking down at your head as he begins detangling your hair. “We’re going short?”

“That’s the plan,” you say with a puff of your chest. Please, god, don’t let it be horrible. 

“How short?” he prompts, eyeing you in the mirror. “Shoulder length? Close cropped?”

You reach up a slightly shaky hand and pinch the length that you want between two fingers. “Here’s good.”

Eddie nods, looking somewhat pleased. “Are we doing layers?”

“Yeah, I think layers would be good for the long term.” 

“Gives you more flexibility,” he agrees. He picks up a pair of scissors and begins measuring out the length that you want. “I’ll start with the length and then we’ll move to bangs, all right?” 

“That… sounds good.” You’re temporarily discombobulated by Eddie taking the sides of your head and tilting your head down just the slightest bit. 

“Stay just like that for me, okay?” he says quietly.

You blink down at the table in front of you, feeling your mouth go dry. “No problem.” Your hands nervously twitch beneath the cover of the smock across your body.

He goes back to humming along with the music on the PA, and you don’t have the heart to interrupt him. You’re trying to focus on anything but the nerves in your system and the way his touch keeps making you want to jump out of your seat.

After a moment, he stops humming and dusts a bit of hair off of your shoulder. “There we go. Good girl.” 

You blink up at Eddie in the mirror, and then see the transformation from long hair to short on your head. 

“How does it feel?” Eddie asks, leaning down to pinch the ends of the front and measure the evenness of the length. You stare at his fingers, and the tattoo of a bat just above his thumb on his left hand.

“Ten pounds lighter,” you joke. It feels like you’ve swallowed a lump of hot coal, but he doesn’t need to know that. Eddie grins, and his dimples make a glorious reappearance. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he murmurs, and again positions your head where he wants it, staring directly forward. “Honestly, even if you wanted to stop here, it would suit you. I don’t think there’s a way to make you look bad, sweetheart.”

“You’ve never seen me with a hangover,” you scoff, trying to ignore how your heart skips a beat. 

Eddie smirks at you in the mirror while he starts working on giving your hair layers. “My guess is that you still look just as cute, but with a bit more of a grumpy look around here.” He gestures to your brow with one finger, and reaches over to set aside the texturizing scissors. 

“So, what I’m hearing is, you think I’m cute?” you say, still trying to play up the confidence that you don’t really have. Your hand squeezes your thigh under the smock you wear, your nails digging in for purchase.

“No, I think you’re gorgeous,” Eddie says swiftly, like it’s just a matter of fact. “But, I think you’d also be cute when you’re hungover. Plus, with this hair, you’d probably look all unkempt and I love the mental image that’s creating.”

His hands fluff the layers that he’s put into your hair, ruffling them gently and carding his fingers through them to measure their length. You’re sure that he’s not aware of the moon-eyed look you’re giving him in the mirror. 

Except, then he moves around you to start working on your bangs, and the smirk that comes across his face when he looks down at yours is enough to make you lose your composure. He knows everything that’s going on in your head, you’re sure of it. 

Cocky bastard.  

“I like your tattoos,” you murmur, just loud enough for him to hear over the music and the sounds of blow dryers all around you. He’s face to face with you, so close that you can count the freckles on his pale face.

Eddie’s eyes light up. “Yeah? What about ‘em?” 

“Well,” you lick your lips, your eyes flicking down to the one on his neck, and the one peeking out of his collar. “They’re colorful, and they look like you put a lot of thought into picking out each one. They’re pretty.”

“Hmm. You flatter me,” he remarks, trying to hide his grin and failing. If you look closely, there’s just the slightest pink tint to his cheeks that wasn’t there before. He finishes trimming your bangs, and just before he stands up, he chucks you lightly under the chin. “Keep it up and you might get a freebie.”

A free what? You’re imagining he means some sort of a free hair wash or something, but you can’t keep your mind from going to unprecedented places. 

“All right. Bear with me, I’m gonna blow dry you now.” He turns your chair away from the mirror to get you a bit closer to the blow dryer, and for a few minutes, there’s a lull in the conversation. 

Then, all at once, the blow dryer shuts off, and Eddie leans down towards you. “Ready, sweetheart?”

“Eddie, you’re gonna make me nervous.”

“Well, we don’t want that.” You just barely turn your head to look at him; just enough that your noses barely brush. You steal a breath that comes from his mouth, and then, Eddie turns you to the mirror. “Like I said,” he murmurs, “There’s not a way to make you look bad.”

“Holy shit,” you breathe. And holy shit is right– he’s done a complete number on you. Your hair is voluminous, framing your face in a way that you haven’t seen it before.  

“What do you think?” he asks, and for a moment, you think it’s a rhetorical question.

“I think you’re way better than Melissa,” you tell him, once you realize that it’s not rhetorical and he’s really asking you what you think. You’re sure that he’d make adjustments if you needed, but you don’t need him to. He’s read you like a book. He’s made you look better than you could ever have hoped for. 

“I’m gonna need that in writing,” he tells you, with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen. “For employee of the month, and all.”

“Tell me where to sign.”

He jerks his head, and all at once the fog lifts. You follow him to the front desk like a lost puppy, feeling like you don’t actually want to leave. You want to sit in his chair while he cuts your hair until you have none left. You want to keep his attention on you and stare at his smile, his hair, his eyes, his tattoos, for the rest of time. 

“I look forward to next time, princess,” he tells you, but you’re hyperfocused on the touch of his hand to your lower back. 

You watch him telling something to the girl at the front desk, his hand wrapped around the edge of the table and distracting you for the umpteenth time. You watch his silver rings glint in the light, and you think about them weaving through your hair; you think about his fingers and how they’d feel on places besides your head.

“So, when did you want to schedule an appointment?” 

You blink a few times, and in a dazed glow you come back to where you are. At the front desk. Paying for your haircut. “Sorry, what?” 

“The… next appointment? For your trim?” The secretary tilts her head, smiling at you kindly. “When did you want to come in?”

“Oh,” you murmur, looking down at the keyboard that she’s typing on. Eddie has disappeared back around the partition with a sweet smile and a wave cast in your direction. You just want him to come back again. “What would you suggest? Y’know, for this kind of a cut?”

“Hmm,” the girl hums, and sizes you up. Not in a way that makes you doubt yourself, but in a way that tells you she’s taking your question seriously. “Probably about four weeks. See if the length is something you’re happy with?” 

“Great. Four weeks from now. With Eddie.” You peer down at the rack of business cards on the deck, and pick up the one farthest to the right. 

Eddie Munson, Stylist. Set an appointment today!

By four weeks, your hair has already reached your shoulders, and the ease of maintenance is starting to wear off. When you get a call reminding you about your appointment with Eddie, your head reels with the knowledge that you’ll see him again.

You calmly assert to yourself that this time, there will be no mooning over him. He’s just your hairdresser. You figure he just has a job to do, tips to earn, and so on. You don’t know if he’s available, you don’t know if he’s single or if he even likes you the way that you like him. You don’t know anything about him, really.

False. You know that he used to wash his hair with bar soap.

You snicker to yourself as you sit in the waiting area yet again. The only available slot for him today was 6:30; pretty close to closing time, but for a Wednesday you figured it was best for you to come late, since you’d have time to get yourself together after work.

You’ve never been in the salon so late. It’s getting dark outside, and the overhead lights cast a semi-yellow glow around the waiting area. Business is dying down now. Not as many people love the idea of getting their hair cut so late, you suppose, but it was either this or wait another week to get an appointment with Eddie, and with the rate that your hair is growing, you’d probably be going insane by then.

“Hey, you,” Eddie says, popping his head around the partition with a grin that makes you nearly melt in your seat. His curly hair hangs in a curtain out in midair, and his long neck stretches out for you to take a gander at. “Just couldn’t stay away, huh?”

You smile at him. “Well, you’re the only person I trust with my head.”

What the fuck did you just say?

Eddie smirks, glowing pink around the ears. “I’ll keep that in mind, princess. Let me clean up my station real quick and I’ll getcha goin’, all right?”

You swallow back the lump in your throat. “Yeah, sure, no worries.”

When Eddie disappears again, you slide down in your seat and clap your hand across your eyes. You’re sort of glad that nobody was in the waiting room to see that ridiculous exchange, but you still have to sit with your embarrassment while Eddie cuts your hair. Again.

There will be no pining. There will be no getting weirdly turned on by him washing your hair. Nope, not happening this time.

This time, when Eddie ushers you back behind the partition, there’s only one two other stylists who are there cleaning their stations. The PA has been turned way down, so you can barely register what it’s playing at all.

“You actually came at a good time,” Eddie tells you as you trail after him toward the wash station. “You’re the last person for the night, so I can really take my time with you.”

“O-oh.. really?” You beat back your perverted thoughts with a stick. “To do what?”

“Oh, y’know,” Eddie shrugs as he lays a towel around your shoulders again, just as gentle as he was the last time. “We could do something totally crazy. Who knows what’ll happen?”

His voice is animated, pleasantly filling the empty space where your thoughts might become too much if you let them wander. 

Over the past month, after you’d recovered from your last meeting with Eddie, and as you were preparing for this one, you came up with a few things that you could ask him about– just to keep your mind from going to places you didn’t want them to. To save yourself the embarrassment and the ordeal of having to play whack-a-mole with your libido, and all. 

“Did you get employee of the month?” you begin with.

Eddie laughs, and then sighs. “No, our manicurist got it. I’ll get it this time, I just gotta stay on my A-game.” His blunt nails rake your hair away from your forehead and temples, and a lukewarm stream of water hits the crown of your skull.

You nearly want to jump out of your skin at the feeling. “Was it because they gave you the crap chair too many times?”

“Probably. But I got here early today, so the good news is you don’t have to sit in the crap chair this time.” 

“Aww, I kind of liked the crap chair. Kept me grounded.” You hear him huff a laugh as he starts lathering shampoo through your hair. Trying to keep your mind running so you don’t focus too hard on how good his rings feel scraping against your scalp, you ask, “How’d you get into this line of work?”

“Honestly, it’s kind of a weird story,” Eddie starts, beginning to massage his fingertips into your skull in a way that makes your toes curl in your shoes. You tighten your hands on the arms of your chair and take a deep breath. “So, it took me three tries to graduate high school, right? I was terrible at it. And, y’know, I figured I’d only end up working in a garage or something for the rest of my life. But I was cutting my mane all on my own, and eventually I started cutting my friends’ hair too, because they were all in college and it’s cheaper than going to a salon. I mean–” he chuckles, and begins rinsing your hair– “believe me. I know all about it. And it just came to me really easily, ‘cause I used to be great at drawing and crafting and stuff. And it’s kind of the same thing– once you learn the medium, it’s smooth sailing from there.”

The salon has gone eerily quiet, and by the time Eddie wraps your head and sits you up, you realize that the other stylists have gone, and you and Eddie are the last people in the building. You’d be a little nervous about it, but you got Eddie on a roll, and honestly, he makes it so easy to listen to him.

“Anyways, one day my friend Robin says to me, ‘You should totally get your credential for this,’ and I said, ‘You have to go to school for this shit?’” You blow a raspberry of a laugh, no longer feeling anxious as he sits you down on his not-crap styling chair. He drapes a smock over you, and cracks a grin at you in the mirror. “I know! So, I’ve never been great at school, and I can’t afford to pay for beauty school tuition on the pay I was making at the time, so my friends… they pooled together some money to at least pay for my first semester. And then– get this– I got on the fucking Dean’s list.”

“No way.”

“I did! Yours truly!” He does a little bow, and while you’re still giggling, he begins detangling your hair. “So, I got grants. And I finished top of my class, because as it turns out, when you don’t hate what you’re studying it’s really easy to do well. I got my certification framed and everything. Show that to my damn high school principal.” He shakes his head, but the smile is still on his face when he says, “But now I just have to get that fucking employee of the month.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” you offer, admiring his face in the mirror again without even realizing you’re doing it. You love seeing him grin, showing off his dimples and the smile lines around his eyes.

“Oh, you know,” he shrugs with a cute scrunch of his nose. “Just make sure you write my boss a letter saying how fantastic and amazing I am and how there’s no other hair stylist like me and how you’ll never find anyone as cool and sexy anywhere else. Something subtle like that oughta do it.” 

“Shouldn’t be difficult,” you tell him smoothly. “I already had that one drafted.”

He chuckles, his eyes sparkling when he reaches for his scissors, but you still notice the faint blush on his cheeks that he tries to hide behind his curtain of hair. “Flattery. You know what that gets you with me.”

A freebie. You hear his voice echoing in your head, and you swallow past the dryness in your throat. “Like… what? A mohawk?”

“Would you want a mohawk?” he asks you, pausing his movements to peer at you. “Because that’d be metal as hell, I’d be so down.” 

You laugh. “I appreciate it, but I think… probably not today.”

Eddie hums, and returns to smoothing your hair back away from your face. “So we’re just doing the same as last time?” 

“Yeah, not too flashy.” 

“Gotcha. It’s a shame, though. I’m always up for a challenge.” 

“Well, I think that short hair is just easier to maintain,” you tell him, at a loss for what else to say. He glances up at you in the mirror, and locks eyes with you. “And it doesn’t make my neck look as stumpy as it is.”

Eddie tilts his head with a confused pout, and then he reaches down and wraps his hands loosely around your throat. Your breath stalls in your chest, your eyes focused on the sight of his hands on you, his thumbs gently stroking the nape of your neck and his ring clad fingers pressed just below your chin. His fingers link and hold you, creating a necklace that you’ll never be able to find anywhere else.

Oh, shit. Oh, fucking hell. Everything below your waist draws up tight and hard, your thighs clamping together like that’s going to somehow will away the hold that Eddie has on you.

You lift your eyes and find his in the mirror, dark and focused in on you. You hold each others’ gaze for a prolonged moment, not saying anything, you barely even daring to breathe. You can’t imagine what the expression on your face looks like. You’re too busy staring at the one on his– like there are a million thoughts running through his head, and you’re desperate to know every single one of them.

“Nah, I think you’re perfect.” And just like that, Eddie moves on like nothing happened, picking up his scissors again. Like he didn’t just fry your brain. Like you’re not halfway to cardiac arrest.

You’re dumbstruck as he starts trimming the ends of your hair. You told yourself there would be no mooning over him. No pining. But here, you are, turned on beyond belief, and having to deal with the heartbeat pulsing between your legs, and not shift around, because you don’t want to fuck him up. 

When he pinches the ends of the front to see if they’re level, you’re staring directly at him in the mirror. Not even trying to hide it, either. If you did try, you’d most certainly fail. Eddie frowns in concentration, a bit of a crease to his brow as he peers at his hands.

Eddie tuts. “I’m trying to figure out– is it–?” He grabs the back of your chair, and suddenly you’re being swiveled around to face him. “Sometimes these mirrors don’t even help a guy out at the worst goddamn times…”

Your breathing is way heavier than it needs to be. Is it hot in here? Did they crank up the heat in this place specifically to spite you? Eddie’s face is so close to yours, and you’re not sure if the fact that you aren’t in the crap chair is helping. You’re higher up now, and he doesn’t have to bend down as far to get level with you, and his eyes are the color of dark chocolate, and you–

Eddie’s hand comes up and snips the tip off the right side. “There we go. One side was all fucked.”

“Well, we don’t want anything getting fucked, do we?” you mutter under your breath. What’s left of it.

Eddie pauses and his eyes flick up to yours. His eyelashes are long and flutter as he holds your gaze again, while you try hard not to look away. There’s that unreadable expression on his face from earlier, morphing slowly into something like amusement, but that could also just be your mind playing tricks on you. Don’t look at his lips. Don’t look at his lips. Don’t look at his li–

“Screw it.” Eddie tosses his scissors to the ground and his hands come up to grip your face, smoothing your hair back tenderly before he kisses you. 

You open your mouth and Eddie is in it, searching, feeling. His hands hold your head firm and you feel the metal of his rings digging into your cheeks, and you’re splitting apart at the seams from the way he’s completely invading your senses. He smells like warm, spicy cologne and hairspray. He tastes like cigarettes and cherry coke. He moans into you, and the sound is like heaven. 

You lift your legs and wrap them around his waist, and he grunts before he pulls away just the tiniest bit to give you breathing room. 

“This is highly unprofessional, Mr. Munson,” you whisper to him, as if you don’t have him caged in with your thighs.

“I don’t… actually fucking care,” Eddie admits, his nose just nudging against yours. “Got so fuckin’ hard the minute I saw you. What am I gonna do with you, huh?”

“Dunno,” you murmur against his mouth, “I’m waiting for you to tell me.” 

“C’mere.” He pulls you out of your seat, and you practically trip over the smock he clipped around your neck. 

“Get me out of this thing,” you giggle, letting your forehead fall onto his shoulder. You inhale a deep breath of his cologne, feeling his chest shake with his laugh. 

“Aww, but you look so cute,” Eddie coos, but his hands come up to undo the button at the back of your neck. The fabric slides to the ground, and Eddie kicks it aside as he crowds you back against the table. Your ass hits the edge of it and your hand falls onto a comb when you try to steady yourself. He pulls you flush to his body, his hands caging you in. Eddie’s tongue dances over your bottom lip and you moan, lifting your hands to tangle in the fabric of his shirt.

He ducks his head to help you pull his shirt off before he tosses it somewhere to the side. You’re distracted by his tattoos, each one of them beautiful and detailed, standing out against his pale skin.

Then, you remember something that he told you earlier, and you connect some dots that you hadn’t even realized were there. “Did you draw these?” 

Eddie’s grin could blind the sun. He blushes pink down his neck and shoulders. “Yeah, I did.” 

“They’re gorgeous. I meant what I said before– I really like them.” 

He sucks in a deep breath, and then his lips are on you, everywhere they can manage. On your face, your neck, trying to get at your collarbone but your shirt is in the way. He fists it in his hands, making a petulant noise in the back of his throat. “Help me out here, sweetheart.”

Your shirt lands somewhere near his. You don’t see exactly where, because he’s pulling the straps of your bra down your shoulders so that he can mouth kisses across your breasts, pulling down on the cups until he can graze his teeth over your nipple. It takes you so off guard that you bite back a squeal, tugging at his hair and rubbing your thighs together to stave off the incessant throbbing between them.

When you look down at him, his eyes are so dark that they’re almost black. Your heart thuds erratically in your chest, your breath not coming even though you gasp and pull at the air with everything you have. You can’t really fathom why he has you so worked up– just that it’s been so long since anyone touched you like this, and now that you have it it’s like every little point of contact is on fire.

Eddie grazes his teeth across your breast, and your knees nearly buckle out from under you. You grab his face, guiding him back up to you. 

“What were you thinking when you grabbed my throat?” you ask him, your voice hoarse in the back of your throat. 

His hands are on you now, grabbing at your waist and hips, squeezing like he’ll never let go. “I can show you, if you want,” Eddie answers, and he sounds just as wrecked as you. Maybe more. 

There’s absolutely no way you’re going to refuse that. Not with the way you’ve been lusting after him since meeting him. You nod. “Eddie, please–”

He kisses you hard again before mumbling against your lips, “Turn around and take off your pants.”

You do what he asks without a second’s hesitation. You watch him in the mirror as he follows your movements, undoing his own belt, and you kick your jeans and underwear off without thinking about why you’re here, without wondering about the repercussions. You figure you can probably do that later.

Right now, Eddie’s smoothing his hand up your spine, and the feeling of his fingers dancing along your skin sends shivers through your body. His fingers weave through the hair at the nape of your neck, and he pulls just slightly, until you bare your neck. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. Your heart hammers as you watch him, dark eyes and hair and rosy cheeks in the mirror, his carnation colored lips twisting into a wicked grin at you. He kisses your shoulder so gently it’s like the fluttering of a feather. 

“‘Stumpy neck,’” Eddie scoffs under his breath, and you tremble. “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”

He bends you forward until you’re face to face with yourself in the mirror– but you’re looking at him, gazing into your eyes while he teases himself at your entrance.

“Oh my god,” you groan, dropping your head almost immediately at the feeling. Your head is spinning, your body rigid with anticipation and breaking out in a cool sweat already. 

“Mm-mm,” Eddie hums condescendingly, and a hand clamps around your throat, hoisting your head up again. A gasp tears from your lips. In the mirror, his eyes are blazing. “You look at me while I fuck you. That’s the only way this is gonna happen. Got it?”

You nod. You want to shrink away from the heat in his gaze, but you want him to fuck you way more than that. You shudder as he leans forward, pressing in until his chin nearly rests on your shoulder.

“I need to hear you say it, baby.” His thumb strokes lightly along your pulse point, and you make a soft noise in the back of your throat without thinking. “Tell me you understand.” 

“I understand,” you tell him, barely a whisper, but he hears it all the same. 

“Good girl.” 

Eddie grins, kisses the nape of your neck, and pulls back. When he does, you’re barely able to take a breath before he pushes his hard cock into you, and the noise you make is almost embarrassing in its volume. 

“Ohhh, you’re absolutely soaked, baby. She’s practically dripping– is this just for me?” Eddie murmurs in your ear, grinding his hips up against your ass for emphasis. The lewd noise that it makes has your toes curling and the tips of your ears burning.

“Fuck,” you moan, ginding back against him to push him deeper. He’s so thick and you’re so sensitive that your mind is completely blanking at the feeling. 

Eddie notices, and he chuckles as grabs your waist with one hand as he thrusts his hips forward. “I’ve barely gotten my cock in you, princess. Don’t go getting all dumb on me already.” His voice goes straight between your legs and your cunt pulses around him, making him hiss through his teeth. The hand on your throat tightens just slightly. “I asked you a question.”

You keen, your mind reeling as you search for words. You manage to nod, babbling out, “Yes, it’s– it’s all for you, Eddie, been wanting you so bad, s’all I can think about–”

Eddie coos, grabbing your chin to shut you up while a particularly hard thrust of his hips knocks the wind out of you. He turns his head and grazes his lips against your cheek, eyeing you in the mirror as he says, “I knew it.” 

Your eyes are on him, on his hand around your neck, on his rings pressed into your skin. All that your fucked-out mind can think is that it’s hot, and you like him and his strong hands and his pretty eyes and the way his cock is reaching places inside you that make thoughts really difficult to come by.

Eddie whispers something against your skin, and you miss it because you’re hooked on the way his eyelashes flutter for just a moment while his lips are pressed against your cheek. You lift your hand, until it rests over his against your throat, his fingers just barely laced with yours. 

“Again,” you say– it comes out like a command, but you mean it like a question. You don’t know what the fuck he just said. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he repeats, and his voice nearly cracks with the desperation in it. His sweat slick chest is pressed against your back, his thrusts rocking your hips into the table and jostling it into the wall, but his voice is so tender. “So perfect for me.” 

Your mouth falls open, your hand tightening on his. You pull, until he loosens his grip and his hand comes away with yours. You kiss his palm, then his fingertips, holding his gaze in the mirror as you slowly, gently swirl your tongue around his middle and forefinger. 

Eddie’s eyes narrow coyly at you, while his thrusts make you mewl and clutch at the table with your free hand. You suck his two fingers deep into your mouth, earning a pleased groan from him in your ear– a sound which you want to hear again and again, no matter what it takes. 

“Look at you, sweet little thing, gettin’ my fingers all wet like that,” he whispers to you, biting his lip as you grind back against him. “Wanna do something with ‘em?”

You moan, letting his fingers slide from your mouth with a wet pop. You guide his hand down your chest, down your stomach, until his fingers slide between your legs. 

“There you go,” Eddie coos, taking over from your guidance as his fingers start rubbing small circles against your clit. “Atta girl, showin’ me what you want. Just needed me to fuck you stupid first, hm?”

Your cunt pulses, and you cum with a loud moan that echoes off of the mirror in front of you and around the empty space. Eddie cries out, and you feel his warmth fill you as he cums. He slows until he stills inside you, and then he holds you, panting against your cheek, his arm wrapped around your middle and his hand on your throat.

You haven’t moved your hand away from his, you realize, after a few moments of bliss in the aftershocks. You drop your hand to the table with a thud, earning a soft, breathless chuckle from him. 

“Can I take you out to dinner?” Eddie asks you, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“I think you can do whatever you want with me,” you murmur dazedly, just barely shifting and making him hiss. He’s still inside you, trying to hold you steady while he calms himself down. 

“Good.” There’s a kiss to your cheek, and Eddie grunts as he slowly eases out of you. “I still need to finish your goddamn haircut.”

“Eddie, we’re naked.” 

“And?” His hands are moving quicker than your mind is, yanking a kleenex from the table so that he can bend down and wipe the insides of your thighs. You jump at the sudden touch, but he clamps a hand around your hip to hold you still. “The sooner I finish your hair, the sooner I close up, and the sooner we go get dinner. You like Italian?”

“I didn’t think your pillow talk would involve finishing my haircut,” you grumble, but there’s a smile worming it’s way onto your face even as you say it. 

“That’s the name of the game, sweetheart,” Eddie says, tossing the tissue into the trash. He picks up your underwear, and the smock from the floor. “Now, sit your cute ass down. I’m not gonna get employee of the month by dishing out orgasms and not bangs, y’know.”

[haruchi-slit]

"CONCEALED CHARMS!"

synopsis: jjk men reacting to reader who has small chest!

characters: sukuna, toji, nanami, suguru and satoru

warnings: | sukuna's part: reader is one of sukuna's concubine + nipple play + fingering | toji's part: cunnilingus + nipple play + fingering + slight edging | nanami's part: comfort + p in v + passionate sex (?) | suguru's part: comfort + p in v + lots of kissing (?) | satoru's part: shower sex + p in v + comfort | minors you were warned do not interact

Sukuna:

The king always wonders why his favorite concubine does not take her kimono fully whenever they had sex he was wondering why and it makes his head hurt, does she have a hidden mouth in her chest? no, no, no a mere concubine wouldn't have that, maybe she has a lot of scars? no her skin is like a porcelain. impossible. he wonders to himself. one day he couldn't take much more of it so he orders Uraume to come and get you to his chambers.

"my king, you called?" you murmured closing the doors behind walking towards the king.

he's sitting on the edge of the bed, he stood up, looking down because of the height difference,

"why do you not take your kimono every time we had sex?" he straight up asked, it caught you by surprise...

"o-oh i thought it wasn't necessary nor important that's why..i-"

"you're lying woman." he frowns "what no no no my lord i am n-" you retort before he lifts your weight and bounced you lightly on the soft mattress, "my king you really don't have to see my chest! it's not an important matter!" you resist but Sukuna is just so eager to see what's under your kimino he flicks his fingers together dismantling your kimono and so as your undergarments, your arms were quick to cover your chest, grabbing the sheets of king's mattress. "ah~ is this why you're always covering your chest? how cute." he says as he puts his weight on the mattress crawling towards you, he snatched the sheets you're gripping to with his other arm, "were you afraid that I'm going to replace you because of your chest?" he teased, "y-yes my lord, i was" "how pitiful..." he lets off a sadistic sigh as he grabs your arms revealing your cute small tits, it had his mouth watering, "there's no need to hide, brat..." Sukuna chuckles as he latched his mouth on one of your perked nipples giving them attention that they need, now he's not wondering anymore. now he can focus on giving the attention that they need, he wonders why you hid them away for such a long time. sukuna knows that he have seen many boobs in his lifetime but yours was definitely one of a kind. you moaned softly while he enjoyed your little titties popping them out using his tongue as his other arms and hands pleased your cunt, his tongue placed in his stomach, roaming on your body, at this point his pleasure is not one of his priorities, yours is...

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Toji:

"shit toji- that's the spot..." you rambled tugging your hands on his hair. This is the third time you and toji got intimate since the two years of your relationship and he hasn't seen you fully nude, yes he has seen your cunt but he hasn't seen your chest, for now, not that he minds he's just curious why. how is he still not yet to notce that you're flat chested? cause you wear push up bras, that's why he hasn't questioned why you don't want to remove your t-shirt. but today the curiosity got to him. "can you remove your t-shirt?" he murmured sending vibration on your clit, "why- so sudden? you never asked me to remove them" you'd debate "it's just...i want to see you nude that's why, you've seen me nude so why can't i see you?" Toji continues while lapping on your pussy, you were nervous, so nervous..."toji- i i can't. i think I can't" you whispered Toji's eyebrows knit "what do you mean you can't?" "it's just- you'll be disappointed" you sucked your lips between your teeth, "disappointed in what? it's not that I'm forcing, I'm just really curious why you never took them off..." he says with a lingering doubt and curiosity as he scissors his fingers in you. you let out a deep sigh and used your elbows to support your weight, you proceed to tug on your shirt revealing your push up bras, toji was too busy eating you up that he didn't even noticed, until he looks up to you, you're completely flustered it was a mix of embarrassment and arousal. toji continues to eat you out with his tongue while looking up to your flustered face, your arms that's covering your chest is what caught his attention. "hah...what is there to hide baby girl? I've literally seen your cunt" Toji says inching his mouth away from your pussy he used his hand to slick his hair back, to take a better look on you, "heh...now i see why" he smirks wiping your juices from his mouth, eyeing at your chest, "why hide this pretty tits of yours princess? were you shy?" you nod "you're so cute when you admit something yea? reminds me when you first confessed to me hah" he uttered ghosting his way to your body once again, swiftly unhooking your push up bras revealing your erected nipples it looked so cute, fuck it looked so scrumptious he swore he almost drooled. Toji wanted to suck your nipples, but not yet, not just yet, he traced his hand on your sensitive nipples, gently pinching tight circles on your tits, making you arch and squirm, your own drool was dripping to the side of your lips, now he decides to lock his mouth to one of your boob and you swore you almost shot stars, "fuckkkk to'ii mhm" you mewled as his finger inserts in your pussy, it felt that good. after that he never ever lets you wear your t-shirts whenever the two of you make love. he says: "it's cute don't hide them away from mee!"

+ ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ .

Kento:

it's Saturday night and Kento is very frustrated in work, he's supposed to come home by now but he was asked to work overtime, despite not being home for almost a week he was forced to stay over time, by the time he got home it was already midnight and he was surprised that you were still awake waiting for him, eating ice cream and watching movies in Netflix. You rose from your seat and made your way to the hallway to greet him. "good evening, Kenn~" you chirped, planting a soft peck on his lips to which he warmly responded to. "why are you still awake, darling?" he inquired. without missing a beat, you replied, "waiting for you, of course"you tinged with a mischief tone. "did you missed me?" he asks once more "of course i did ken..." you buried your face on his chest, "soo much" you babbled, his lips tugged a small smile as he ruffled your hair, colliding his lips to yours once more.

he admits, that he's not just frustrated cause of work, he was also frustrated of being away from you, this was not the longest time the two of you were separated, but still, nanami missed you, your scent, your presence, your touch- most of all your fucking cunt. there's just one thing that he always had his mind on, why you always wear your over sized shirts while having intimate sessions with him, and it's been going on for years now, but he never questioned that cause it wasn't a trouble for the both of you so he lets you be, it never bothered him until this day.

your legs sprawled in the thick atmosphere of lust as Nanami bucks his hips on you, his balls slapping eagerly on your ass, your arms and hands were locked on his neck, toes curling, back arching and eyes rolling back in to the depths of your skull. "Kento- fuckkk" you wailed, fat beads of tears pooled down from your eyes as he lets out all his frustration on you, "were you waiting for me because you wanted me to fuck you?" he groans drilling his fat cock in your cunt, "yesyesyess" you whined, nodding repeatedly as he carves your womb with his cock. groans were heard echoing in your shared bedroom, Kento noticed that you were sweating so much that it made your clothes damp, he sees this as a opportunity to get you to take your shirt off, "how bout you take that shirt off, baby?" he murmured burying his head on the valleys of your neck, you thought, it's about time to let him know that you're flat, you've been hiding your chest from him ever since, wearing bras with big foams so he won't notice, while being fucked dumb your head was clouded with thoughts, "Nanami- do you like girls with flat chest?" your tongue slipped, as the sound traveled to your ear you realized it sounded so embarrassing, Nanami chuckles at your sudden question, "what do you mean?" "n-nothing!" you stutter "take your shirt off baby, i don't want you to be soaking with your own sweat" lie, Nanami's not the type of guy to lie but he's fucking itching to see you full naked body, thinking about it just makes his fucking mouth drool, you kissed your teeth with your lips as you hesitate looking on the opposite direction it's about time you let him know!

fuck it you thought to yourself. you pulled your head up, positioning yourself in a sitting position before tugging your shirt and bra off he watched all of it, while jerking his cock in your sopped pussy, kento's eyes widen, but it wasn't because he was disappointed, he realized that you were hiding your chest because you thought it'll matter to him, he sees your face flushing to bright pink, he ghost's his lips to yours kissing you so deep and passionately, in which you responded too, you kissed till the both of you were out off breath, "don't ever think that your body's appearance would change my love towards you, you're beautiful...i love you so fucking much" he grunts kissing your forehead, "f-fuck thank you nanaminn~!" you sobbed, "fuck, look at how cute your tits are".

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Suguru:

this man's always been so mesmerized by your body, your personality and all, the way your clothes perfectly fits your curves, the way you move in such graceful ways, he's on his knees for you, he's always been drawn to your confident and alluring demeanor, as he got to know you more telling you that he love you so much, he found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with you. He loved every inch of you, but one day, as he was caressing your body, he realized something that shook him, while he had always admired your gorgeous curves and full breasts, he suddenly noticed that they were not as prominent as he had originally thought. In fact, as he ran his hands over your body, he realized that you were actually flat-chested.

At first, Suguru was taken aback. He couldn't believe that he had never noticed this before. But as he looked into your eyes, he saw the look of insecurity and fear in them

"S-suguru..." you uttered thinking that he might be disappointed... you've been hiding it from him since the beginning afraid that he'd judge you, and in that moment, he knew that it didn't matter to him. He loved you for who you were, not for the size of your breasts. he pulled you close to him, "y'know that it doesn't fucking matter to me, right? even if you looked like a pancake, I'd still love you.." he chuckle softly showering you with gentle kisses as he whispered sweet nothings of reassurance in your ear. He told you that he loved you just the way you were, that your body was perfect to him, and that he would love and cherish you no matter what. "i love you... don't ever think that you're not enough, you're more thatn enough"

you could feel the weight of your insecurities lift off your shoulders as he continued to caress and kiss your body, showering you with love and acceptance. And in that moment, you felt more beautiful and desired than ever before. sensing your newfound confidence, Suguru's hands began to roam over your body, caressing your thighs, moving his hands to your core, he was determined to show you just how much he loved and desired you, regardless of your breast size. He pulled you into a one deep passionate kiss, his lips hungrily seeking yours as his hands explored your body burning with lust. his touch was estatic, sending shivers down your spine as he worshipped your body with his hands and mouth, with each touch, each kiss, each whispered declaration of love, your insecurities quickly melted away. you were lost in a haze of pleasure and love, completely surrendering yourself to Suguru's touch,

as he entered your cunt, you could feel the intensity of his love and desire fueling every thrust. "holy- shiii s'guruu" you mewled rolling his name out off you pretty mouth as he showed you just how much he loved and, leaving you breathless and completely satisfied.

and as you both lay spent in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow of your lovemaking, you realized that Suguru's love for you was not based on your physical appearance. He loved you for everything that you were, and that was the most beautiful and empowering feeling of all. "i know you already know, but i love you" you whispered mischievously as you kissed his forehead, in which he responds with a witty chuckle pulling you into a bear hug.

➽──────────────────────❥

Satoru:

satoru had been spending more and more time at your apartment lately. ever since he insisted to join your bathing time, he seemed to always find an excuse to come over and spend time with you. and as much as you enjoyed his sweet company, you couldn't help but to feel self-conscious around him. you had always been too insecure about your body's appearance, specifically your flat chest. you had spent years hiding it away, wearing oversized clothes and avoiding situations where you would have to expose yourself.

but now that Satoru was around, you couldn't avoid it any longer. you knew he had seen you in your shower room, but you always made sure to cover yourself up as quickly as possible. However, today was different. You had been caught up in the moment, lost in the sensation of the warm water cascading over your body, when you heard the door to your shower room open. You quickly tried to cover yourself, but Satoru was already standing there, a smirk on his face.

"So this is where you've been hiding," he said, his eyes roaming over your body.

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment, trying to cover your chest with your arms. But Satoru's eyes never left you, and you couldn't help but feel exposed and vulnerable under his gaze.

"I-I'm sorry," you stuttered, not knowing what else to say.

Satoru chuckled, stepping closer to you. "there's no need to apologize. I like what I see."

you couldn't believe what you were hearing. you were used to being teased and mocked for your flat chest, but satoru seemed genuinely interested in you. before you could say anything else, he leaned down and captured your lips in a heated kiss.

his hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of your skin. you couldn't help but moan against his lips, melting into his touch. satoru seemed to know exactly what he was doing, his hands finding all your sensitive spots and driving you crazy with desire.

he broke the kiss, trailing his lips down your neck and collarbone, leaving a trail of hot kisses in his wake. You couldn't help but let out a soft gasp as he reached your chest, his fingers teasing your nipples to hardness.

He pulled back, looking at you with a devilish smirk. "you're so responsive. I can't wait to see how you react to my touch."

and with that, he dropped to his knees, his mouth latching onto your nipple. The sensation was overwhelming, sending shivers down your spine. you couldn't hold back your moans any longer, your hands tangling in satoru's wet hair as the water runs down to your heated bodies, he sucked and licked at your chest, giving them the attention they deserve.

it wasn't until Satoru pulled back, a satisfied smirk on his face, that you realized he had seen your flat chest. you braced yourself for the teasing and mocking, but to your surprise, Satoru merely leaned in and whispered in your ear, "You're perfect just the way you are."

and with that, he stood up and pulled you in for a passionate kiss, his hands roaming over your body once again. You felt a surge of confidence wash over you, feeling desired and wanted for the first time in a long time.

satoru led you to your bedroom, and the two of you fell on your bed in a tangle of limbs and passion. He didn't hold back, showing you just how much he desired you. he whispered dirty words in your ear, "good, fucking girl" he murmurs, his fingers finding all your sensitive spots and driving you crazy with pleasure.

you had never felt so much pleasure, satoru was dominant and in control, yet he made sure to worship every inch of your body, making you feel like the most beautiful person in the world rather the most perfect person in the whole entire universe.

as you both reached the peak of pleasure, satoru held you close, his lips pressed against your forehead. And in that moment, you knew that he accepted you for who you were, flaws and all. And that was all that mattered.

"goodness, your tits drives me crazy, girl!" he says plopping his body to your side catching his uneven breath.

a/n: i enjoyed writing this, cause as a woman with a flat ass chest...this is just mwaa! this is also self indulgent :p

tags: @lillywillypeepiepopilly

(if you want to get tagged just comment down below!)

[mercurycft]

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 - 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆

series masterlist - here!

OLD FRIENDS REUNITED IN LONDON

HALLIE KING REUNITES WITH MELBOURNE CITY TEAMMATE, STEPH CATLEY, AFTER FOUR YEARS APART IN THE FOOTBALL WORLD

•°. *࿐

LONDON, ENGLAND

HALLIE.

at the start of the session, after everyone had dispersed from the circle; jonas made it clear that i didn't need to push myself for todays training, told me to take it easy and try to just get into the arsenal rhythm. to be honest, i wish i had listened to him - because now, im laid flat on the grass. the sun bombarding me, heat pricking at every square inch of my skin.

i felt like a rookie all over again, as if i was watching my idols for the first time. i saw them sprint, so i sprinted. if i saw a ball coming to me, i made damn sure i was going to be on the end of it. i tried my hardest, and put my all into everything i did on that pitch. as well as in the gym. now, however, i was regretting it.

steph came and flopped next to me on the grass, laughing at my disheveled state as i inhaled my drink. "i told you it got hot here!"

"yeah but aussies have a warped view of hot, steph! i actually think i'm melting!" we laughed in agreement, steph tapping my forehead condescendingly before i shoved her off. we sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the heaving of our chests.

after a few minutes, we were joined in our spot. katie and caitlin sitting to the right of me, beth and viv next to steph and jen ahead of me.

"how did you find it, pops?" caitlin asked, hand on her foot as she stretched out on the grass.

"it was good, it felt nice to be pushed for a change," i smiled up into the nothingness of the big blue above me, arms outstretched beside me.

"you did great," steph said from beside me, cheesing with her eyes closed.

"you really did, glad to see you slotting right in." jen added, patting me on the ankle.

"big moments coming with this one, i can feel it!" beth smiled to me, raising her eyebrows.

"thank you all, i really appreciate it, feeling the love," i added, lifting my hands to fan myself- partially from the head, partially to fight away the blush that had crept onto my already red face.

"oh you are so welcome, pops," steph teased, poking me in the side of my thigh until i swatted her hand away.

"does anyone actually ever call ye' your name?" katie asked after a minute or so of our shoving and pushing, making me and steph laugh. i sat up to face her and the others.

"only my grandparents," i started, smiling fondly. "steph only ever called me hals, which then turned into hallipops, which then turned into pops, and now sometimes i only get p," i laughed, poking steph in the ribs every time i listed a new nickname. "but i like it, it's never really been an issue," i continued, lifting my hand to shield my squinting eyes as the afternoon sun semi-blinded me.

we carried on our conversations, exchanging humour and jokes until jonas requested the attention of the group once more. almost everyone had retreated outside after the gym session, gagging for fresh air and the occasional summer breeze.

"well done today ladies, see you all tomorrow afternoon!"

back in the changing rooms, everyone had migrated into groups, changed into their 'normal people' clothes and began chatting among themselves. most of the team is still present, some still packing away their things. steph sits beside me, shoving her boots into her bag and chatting away.

"do you think they'd like that?"

"hals, they would love that! i swear, just say it and worst case scenario it's just me and you, okay?" i nod in acknowledgment of her words, taking a moment to look around before i speak up.

"everyone? hi, hello, yeah really gorgeous aussie girl trying to get your attention," i joke, waving my hand and ignoring steph's eyes almost rolling out of her head. the girls around us turn to face me, laughing and shaking their heads. "first, i wanna say thank you for all being so welcoming-"

"bumlick," steph grunts, then slaps a sickly smile on her face when the room laughs. she's met with my middle finger.

"-and nice! secondly, i have a lovely new garden which needs breaking in. i'd love to have you all round this afternoon, or evening, if you'd like to! i'd love to get to know you all over barbecue food.. and maybe a few drinks," my new teammates littering the room cheer, and laugh as katie whistles through her fingers at the announcement of drinks.

"i'd love to,"

"count me in!"

"ill be there,"

"we'll come!"

"great! ill see you all later, ill have steph text you guys my address and any details! make sure to let anyone not here know they are also invited!"

•°.

three hours later and im home, stressed. steph lays on my bed unfazed by the chaos unfolding around her. my clothes litter the bedroom floor, jeans and dresses scattered across the bed as i try and dig through my wardrobe to find something to wear.

"pops, i don't know why you're stressing!"

"i'm stressing because i need to make a good first impression!" i huff like a child, throwing myself onto the floor.

"you've already made a good first impression! you've already met them for god's sake!"

"that's not the same and you know it!" i whined, "i made the house look nice, i can't look like a slob!"

"you don't!" i nodded with a frown towards her. "right, put on those denim shorts," she pointed, "with that big top," pointed again "with that belt, put on some socks, put your hair down, wear the sunglasses you got in malta- done! you don't need to fuss all the time!"

i groaned knowing she was right, yanking each of the pieces she had pointed out off of the floor and stomped into the bathroom. i took a breath to compose of myself, and pulled each of the articles on clothing onto my body.

i emerged from the body with an exaggerated expression, fanning my hands about and posing for steph. i don't know why i was so stressed, i wasn't going to the ritz - i'm only going downstairs.

i pulled a pair of socks on as we chatted, and slipped the sunglasses onto my face. announcing to an overly hot steph, who now laid sprawled out on my bed on top of all my crap, that i was ready. we made our way downstairs, steph connecting her phone to my speaker as we started taking things outside ahead of people's arrival.

my house isn't big, but it's enough for me right now. tucked away into a small residential area, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. the garden is my favourite, probably the main reason i chose the place. it's the perfect size, with a slabbed path and sections of fake grass on either side. there's a little sheltered area over the decking by the back door, which makes a perfect home for my plants and a little bench.

on the grass is some deck chairs, some wooden, some plastic, some probably as old as me. i set them out in no real pattern, placing cushions on some of the seats and the rest on the grass- i try to circle around the coffee table we've taken outside, which is covered in coasters, crisps and some sweeties.

the barbecue is in the corner, which isn't actually mine, its actually gary's from next door - who was nice enough to let me borrow it for the evening.

after a bit of altering, i smile at my cosy creation and make my way back inside to steph; who seems to have helped herself to the cider in my fridge.

"didn't get me one then," i roll my eyes, making my way to grab one for myself. i pour it into a glass with some ice as the doorbell rings, i take a calming breath.

"it's open!" i pause "unless you're a murderer!"

"not a murderer, just scottish," jen humours me as she shuts the door behind her. "sick house mate, literally unreal," she compliments as she walks into the kitchen area where me a steph are currently residing, listening to the gentle hums of music through the downstairs.

"glad you came!" i smile and give her a hug, "anything for the fridge?" i ask, pulling away and noticing the bottle in her hand.

"house warming gift," she smiles, jutting the bottle towards me as she leans to give steph a small side-hug and kiss on the cheek.

"you really shouldn't have! thank you," i blow her a kiss and open the fridge again, it opens with a clang from all the bottles stuffed inside. "can i interest you in a drink? cider? beer? wine? other?"

she thinks for a minute, "what beers you got?"

"corona?"

"sorted then." i grab one for her, opening it and handing it to her - which she accepts gracefully and pulls up to her lips.

"lets go outside! i don't want to miss the sun,"

we take our drinks and conversations outside, i sit on a beanbag and jen sprawls on a pillow on the floor. steph on the other hand, sits on a chair, back straight and legs crossed. we chat about our afternoon's apart, laughing occasionally.

over the next hour or so, the rest of the girls arrive. frida and stina first, who i greet with a hug and offer them anything that they fancy from the fridge or ice box. beth and viv are next, who walk in with another box of chocolates and some flowers for me - i think them both profusely and scold them for the unnecessary gifts. alessia, lotte, manu and vic follow them in, thanking me for the invite. teyah, katie and caitlin arrive together too, adding another bottle to my fridge for me to enjoy in my own company. kim and chloe join us after twenty minutes, giving me a hug and taking their positions in the garden.

the sun is beaming down and we're all basking in it, spread around the garden listening to music and enjoying our drinks. we all talk together, some breaking off into their own conversations- others still discussing recent events and sharing humorous stories.

another hour seems to tick by, time completely lost in me in their company. the doorbell sounds throughout the house and i furrow my eyebrows, taking note of almost everyone already in the garden. still, after hesitating, i shout.

"come in, its open!" through the back door, hoping it can be heard over the house. i shrug and turn back to my conversation, listening to kim talk about her time in the last world cup.

"i could hear the music half way down the bloody street," a voice emerges through the back door, bottle in hand and sunnies on her head.

"here she is then!" jen shouts, laughing along with the other girls.

steph perks up from her place on the floor and raises to her feet, rushing to hug the woman in my doorway. "leah, come meet hals!"

i turn my head at the drop of her name, pushing my up and onto my head - pulling my hair away from my face. i study the figure in front of me.

her hair, her clothes, the way her eyes squint in the sunlight as she looks around the garden and says her hello's. the way she chews her gum, smiling tightly at her friends.

eventually she makes her way to me, and i stand up - smiling kindly at her. i swear my heart felt like it was going to break a rib, my lungs seemingly unable to draw a full breath in her presence.

"so you're the mythical hallipops," she teases, smile pulling up beneath her eyes as she opens one of her arms to embrace me.

"that would be me," i laugh, giving steph a middle finger behind leah's back as i accept her embrace. she smells sweet, like fresh vanilla. she pulls away after a moment and hands me another bottle with a smile.

"as an apology for missing your first training, and a welcome to arsenal."

i smile at the gesture. "thank you, ill pop it in the fridge. grab whatever you fancy, make yourself comfy!" i speak as i walk away, hiding myself away in the comfort of my kitchen.

i place the bottle in what tiny bit of room i have left in the fridge and shut it, resting my forehead on the cold of the exterior - hoping it will calm the heat spreading along my skin.

"jesus christ, get yourself together woman!" i hear in a whisper shout behind me. steph. i whip around to face her, raising a finger to my lips to shush her.

"shut up!"

"been here one day and already got the hots for your vice cap, jesus!" she teases.

"i will hit you!"

"you love me,"

"i do, but piss off!" we whisper argue for a minute or two, like teenagers scared to get caught by our parents all over again.

"im going back outside now," i say with a sarcastic smile, flipping her off as i walk out the door.

this isn't a big deal, so i shouldn't make it one. right?

— RG x

[choism]

A Flashy Plan | b.tc

Captain Buggy x Crew!gn!Reader

Genre: Smut, Crack

Summary: A tough day and a tired crew calls for correction in the captain's quarters

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: sub!buggy, gn!reader, but you can imagine reader with a strap or a dick, unprotected sex (bad !), overstimulation, improper use of the chop chop fruit, buggy's head is elsewhere, semi public sex, multiple orgasms, buggy is a babygirl honestly, and a brat too

A/N: I said I would write it and I did! Look at me keeping promises for once lmao. I hope you all enjoy and dont forget to reblog with your thoughts <3

Today had been a rough day for the Buggy Pirates. There were two attacks, both just outside bordering islands, which meant they couldn’t stop for supplies for quite a while. Stopping meant bringing the attacking pirates near the island, which would cause panic, which would cause bounty hunters and marines to appear at the mere sight of their flag. No, they had to flee, and quickly.

Now, afloat the east blue with no real course yet, the crew was in sore spirits, especially their Captain. Buggy had been extra mopey– extra mean to everyone, and that included you. You and the captain had a…special relationship. Sleep together occasionally, cuddle occasionally, but that was the extent of it. It was just two pirates trying to find sense in this barren sea, and you two happened to end up naturally floating together, pun intended.

You were fed up. All of the crew had suffered losses today. They were starved, thirsty, and just wanted to rest but that was impossible when aboard the ship of the man to be King of the Pirates. Buggy was just making everything worse by poking the bear.

“You all suck! Not a very flashy move to flee an island all because of some lowly pirates. We could've done better.” He spits at nobody in particular, but he looks at you briefly and it sets something off inside of you. The crew disperses and you immediately make your way to the clown.

Buggy is back in his captain’s quarters, bent over the desk and presumably overlooking something, while mumbling to himself. You walk in and quietly close the door behind you, tip-toeing behind him and whispering in his ear, “So what wasn’t flashy about avoiding us getting caught by marines, hm?” You smirk and feel him stiffen at the desk.

“I- I didn’t mean you y/n! You were fine I just think that–”

You don’t let him finish, Spinning him around and pinning him to the desk, leaning fully into his space now,

“Think what? That we are no better than lowly pirates? You know better than to insult your crew during such a hard time, Bugsy.” The nickname rolls off your tongue smoothly, sending a shiver down Buggy’s spine. Outside, he’s the captain, but in his attempt to escape the harsh reality of a Captain’s burdens, he submits in the bedroom.

You, on the other hand? You like control, dominance. You like to feel like you have a grip on whatever flimsy string life is, and this is how you take that initiative. It’s a great dynamic and there have been no complaints from Buggy’s end. Well…Unless we are talking about his rear end…

“Fuck y/n wait, I- I’m sorry okay let’s just talk this out, oh!” You press your knee into his crotch, he’s already half hard from being talked down to of course. Buggy whimpers and trembles beneath your touch, anticipating what you’ll do next. You reach your hand up to hold his jaw and place light pecks at his neck, lowering your hand to grip his neck lightly.

“Head on the table sweetheart.” You smirk and step back, starting to unbuckle your belt.

“Why what are you going to do?” Buggy takes off his hat and his headscarf, letting his long blue locks fall around his shoulders in heavy waves. You would never admit it to him, but you find Buggy so gorgeous, if he offered up anything further than some situationship at sea, you’d probably take him up on it. You stare into his green eyes, giving him an answer without even saying anything. Buggy makes room on the desk and pops his head off, gently landing on the wood.

“Well? Take off your clothes too, slut.” The degrading name causes Buggy’s cock to jump in his pants, now fully hard from the unbelievable sexual build up. He makes quick work of his own clothes, now fully nude in front of his crew mate. You’ve gotten your own clothes off as well, having grabbed the spare lube Buggy keeps in his desk and slicking up your own cock. “Turn around for me baby.” You command him and he swiftly complies.

His plump ass is fully on display, his flush cock hanging heavy between his legs and leaking precum like a faucet. You lube up your fingers, warming it up and spreading it over his hole, making sure to get him ready for your fingers.

“Mm please, please do it already.” His head begs, looking at the sight with his eyes heavy, lips pouted and whimpering. 

“You don’t get a say in this, you get to watch and look pretty.” You grip his jaw and he looks up at you, nodding. Now fully bent over the desk, some things falling over, you enter a single finger, crooking and prodding at him to stretch him properly for your cock later. Buggy lets out loud groans next to you, clearly enjoying the sensation. You add a second, and then a third finger, the lube slick sounds bouncing off the thin walls of his quarters, the crew is probably hearing everything. 

You fuck into him deeply, hitting his prostate over and over, his cock leaking all over important documents on his desk as he ruts into it, chasing pleasure.

“‘M cum…gon’ cum…” He lazily says, and you halt all of your movements. “Fuck why please nng ah!” You swiftly enter him, filling him up with your cock and mercilessly fucking into his wet hole. Almost immediately, he comes all over the desk and onto the floor, but you don’t stop thrusting. Buggy lets out strings of ‘ ah ah ah’ with each thrust.

“What? Can’t handle me being a little rough? How do you expect to handle those ‘lowly pirates’ if you can’t even take a cock properly without cumming instantly?” He’s a whimpering mess, drooling and looking at his own body being fucked. Buggy can’t even form words, the overstimulation causing him to get hard again quickly.

“N…” Buggy starts to say but you can’t hear him. You grab his hair and lift up his head, forcing him to be face to face with you as you pound into him,

“Spit it out.”

Buggy laughs half-heartedly, “Not flashy enough.”

You reattach his head and flip him over on the desk so his legs are in the air and his cock is flush against his stomach. You enter him again, fucking him even harder than before. “Is this flashy enough for you, clown? Wanna be fucked dumb like the cockslut you are?” You feel your own orgasm approaching quickly, you wrap a hand around Buggy’s pathetically leaking cock, fisting it so you can finish at the same time.

Soon after, you both finish, Buggy making a mess of his own stomach, some of it even reaching his face. You pull out of him slowly.

“How’s that for a flashy plan, captain?”

© Choism 2023. do not repost or translate.

[yoongis-property]

CURRENTLY READING (what i wanna read in august)

MASTERLIST

(last update: 07.31.2023)

PARK SEONGHWA

richboy!seonghwa by @ateezmakemeweep 

War of Hearts by @mingigoo 

happy new year by @mingigoo ✓

Rotten by @mingigoo ✓

just about perfect by @yoongiseesawmp3 

guardian angel by @mazeinthemiroh 

you’re the one that i want by @ateezmakemeweep 

the duke and his general by @baekhvuns ✓

his to protect by @cqndiedcherries ✓

M-mommy by @wooyoungmybelovedhusband ✓

Kishi Kaisei by @flurrys-creativity ✓

unexpected company by @mia-tiny 

i remember by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

it`s terribly hot today by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

kiss of chaos by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

the town at the edge of the world by @tenelkadjowrites​ 

Nuclear Baby by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

a little less lonely by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

arrow in the dark by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

off limits by @tenelkadjowrites​ 

no secrets at christmas by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

lonely in gorgeous by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

KIM HONGJOONG

bla bla bla by @yoongiseesawmp3 

you need a holiday. by @mazeinthemiroh ✓

pirate king by @cybersan ✓

Spending Time Together by @songmingisthighs ✓

dont stop by @im-657-mv ✓

saved by @sansblkgirlfriend 

Crushcrushcrush by @im-whatchamccallit ✓

A little something more by @flurrys-creativity 

tell me to stop by @tenelkadjowrites ✓

what happens in a blackout by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

Halloween by @mingigoo​ ✓

JEONG YUNHO

killing me by @yoongiseesawmp3 

two is better than one by @songmingisthighs​ ✓

sharing is caring by @kitten4sannie ✓

watch me by @songmingisthighs ✓

frontier psychiatrist by @riboism 

Tutor Boy by @cas-skz ✓

Won't You Be My Friend by @anyamaris 

Acquainted by @mingigoo​ ✓

KANG YEOSANG

we are tragic. by @mazeinthemiroh 

lights out by @bobateastay 

i`m in love by @anyamaris 

you`re my paradise by @anyamaris 

Obsessive by @mingigoo​ ✓

Freaks by @mingigoo​ (feat. woo) ✓

CHOI SAN

oh he’s good by @yoongiseesawmp3 ✓

pop quiz by @yoongiseesawmp3 ✓

Party of Three by @cybersan ✓

kill them with kindness by @mazeinthemiroh ✓

in the quite spaces by @honeyhotteoks ✓

Darling, His Darling by @sansblkgirlfriend 

Drinking Games by @shyxcherry 

SONG MINGI

two is better than one by @songmingisthighs ✓

sharing is caring by @kitten4sannie​ ✓

Precious by @lovesanmotion 

My Unlikely Protector by @anyamaris ✓

teacher`s pet by @anyamaris ✓

all in by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

once by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

Dreamers by @mingigoo​ ✓

We fell in love in August by @mingigoo​ ✓

JUNG WOOYOUNG

smile for the camera by @yoongiseesawmp3 ✓

Party of Three by @cybersan​ ✓

sunday baking by @cas-skz 

Try Me by @tenelkadjowrites​ ✓

Freaks by @mingigoo​ (feat. yeosang) ✓

Midnight Kisses by @mingigoo​ ✓

CHOI JONGHO

get close to me by @honeyhotteoks 

knock it off by @teezertales 

Cute as a Button by @anyamaris 

...ramen before you go? by @mingigoo​ ✓

OT8

MATE by @jwying ✓

in love and lore by @shadowynn ✓

please reblog and like, it helps a lot :)

[whatsupwalnut]

Painland Week Day 2: Myths/Legends

@ deathsankh: lmao does Edwin Payne rly think i cant see him 😂

@ deathsankh: poor kid’s been in hell for 73 years and he comes right back to school? NERD

@ deathsankh: omg he made a friend, i love this for him

@ deathsankh: his lil friend is cute but imma let them cook 🙏

@ deathsankh: bumped into the boys again today, they brought me an offering

@ deathsankh: little girl didnt know she was dead, poor thing

@ deathsankh: i can’t share deets (thanks hipaa) but she died in her apartment and she’s been stuck there for decades

@ deathsankh: they played a game with her and suddenly her soul is calling to me??? okay boys, go offff

@ deathsankh: they thought i couldnt see them BEHIND A DESK lmaooooo 

@ deathsankh: these new kids crack me up

@ deathsankh: the dead boys are still in that apartment, they can’t hide for shit

@ deathsankh: 🏅 congrats to the worst to ever do it 🏅

@ deathsankh: they sent me two more souls in the past month and they’re still scared of me

@deathsankh: we’re colleagues now darlings, have fun out there 💅

@ deathsankh: stop, the little dead boys

@ deathsankh: im obsessed

@ deathsankh: they started a “detective agency” and ive gotten like 16 tributes from them so far

@ deathsankh: and get this

@ deathsankh: they’re calling it

@ deathsankh: THE DEAD BOYS DETECTIVE AGENCY 😂😂

@ deathsankh: like that’s not gunna attract attention from the afterlife

@ deathsankh: i put my contacts on notice, hands off unless they go thru me

@ deathsankh: the night nurse could be a problem but who’s gunna say no to me 💅

@ deathsankh: these boys are lucky i like they, they literally freed a ghost IN THEIR OFFICE tonight

@ deathsankh: like im not gunna sense them hiding on the windowsill 🙄

@ deathsankh: i should have said BOO right before i took Wilfred 😂 but u know im too profesh

@ deathsankh: i guess the dead boy detectives got spooked bc now they’re in port townsend??? 

@ deathsankh: BITCH IM EVERYWHERE 😂😂

@ deathsankh: i gotta call my girl Lilith, she was out there last time we spoke and it’s been too long

@ deathsankh: their little friend kinda reminds me of her

@ deathsankh: these boys stay getting themselves into situations ong

@ deathsankh: i cant talk specifics but that dad was a piece of work

@ deathsankh: im only sorry i couldnt get to him myself.

@ deathsankh: Lilith is Not Doing Well, please reach out if you have her info 🙏

@ deathsankh: shit is POPPING OFF in port townsend

@ deathsankh: why cant these kids take a proper holiday

@ deathsankh: night nurse is ON MY ASS like i don’t already know about this

@ deathsankh: she takes this shit too seriously lmao

@ deathsankh: YO

@ deathsankh: HELL????

@ deathsankh: HITTING UP MY CONTACTS ASAP @DESPAIR KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR A SAD NERDY KID IN UNDERWEAR YOU’LL KNOW THE ONE

@ deathsankh: oh shit what up @simonpages 

@ deathsankh: Thank you to everyone who reached out to Lilith, including the dead boy’s little friend! She’s doing much better now and hell has a new resident :) 

@ deathsankh: NOT LILITH lmao my bad 😂

@ deathsankh: the boys are out of hell but everyone is still sad??? they said their neighbor died but i didnt hear anything? mods????????????????????????????????????

@ deathsankh: this one is out of my jurisdiction gl out there boys 🫡

@ deathsankh: whole squad is back in London

@ deathsankh: the medium’s parents are annoying i need to give them a buzz…

@ deathsankh: NOT LIKE THAT u know i can’t take ppl before their time, but like…

@ deathsankh: they need a lil reminder that im coming :) 

@ deathsankh: i gotta take the night nurse out for drinks bc she is STRUGGLING @ThePrincipal u crazy for this one queen 😂😂 girls night soon?

@ deathsankh: fr tho does nn think i look at all that paperwork bc LMAO

@ deathsankh: the tweedy one loves it tho have fun king

@ deathsankh: like im not gunna approve the asylum paperwork sksksksks

@ deathsankh: omg they got the news and the whole squad is crying in the club 

@ deathsankh: even the night nurse lmao im never letting her live this down

@ deathsankh: maybe i shouldnt have delivered the news personally, i think i almost killed the boys again 😬 my bad yall

@ deathsankh: was anyone surprised the curly one kissed the tweedy one when i told them 😂

@ deathsankh: took them long enough tbh 😻

[passionateseadruid]

Snake King’s Bride 3

The Daughter

⚠️Warning: There's some inappropriate content in here! Not smut but still, mildly sexual! Proceed with caution! For those of you that want to skip lucifer being a touch starved snake I will mark where that ends.⚠️

When you woke up you were still in that horrible room. Dark red silk sheets stuck to your legs and arms. Warm comforters cocooned you. The neon red translucent fabric of the canopy hangs over you. You turn over to your left towards the door.

"Good morning!" Lucifer smiled. You leapt backwards in fright! You almost fell of the bed if not for him catching you holding you by your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Careful darling! We can't have my beautiful bride getting hurt, now can we."

"How long have you been watching me?" You scooted as far away as he'd allow. 

"Not long. About an hour or so. Which in the face of eternity is about the equivalent to a microsecond for a human. Anyway I made you breakfast! I kept it nice and warm for you!" He smiles and brought over the tray from the side table and popped the silver cloche off the matching tray.

"Hm, pancakes. Thanks, I guess." You shrug and take the tray. You cut off a piece and looking at like it had sprouted a face.

"I made it with a special ingredient." He giggled.

"Is it your semen? Because that’s really crossing a line." You set your fork down and pushed the plate away

"EW NO!" He exclaimed staring at you as if you'd grown a second head.

"Period blood then?" You asked unamused. 

"Um no, I don’t have one of those." He grimaced. 

"Well I do, so thanks for that." You glared as he turned his head down.

"Why would you think that I put either of those in there?"

"I've seen enough yandere anime to know what to expect."

"What's an anime?"

"A necessary evil."

"Well I made these with love!" He smiled at you baring his spiky teeth

"So you used a love potion?"

"NO! No! Nononono! No, no, no! Yeah uh, the bird brain 4 floors down would kill me if I tried. Plus I'm confident in my abilities to woo you. I am the original "Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl" after all." He caressed your cheek. Well at least you know now that his hands are indeed an inky black.

"Which caused all the problems we have today." You deadpanned pulling away.

"Come on Doll! You gotta eat up!" He grabbed the fork and brought it to your lips. "Doll. Eat. Or I'll make you."

You growl and eat. What was supposed to be a romantic gesture ended up feeling hollow and forceful.

"Oh by the way I had a simple dress made for you from the measurements I took the first time I dressed you."

"What?"

"I altered that old wedding dress and shoes." 'So he knew that old shirt was too small for me! Pervert!' "I just had one made so we could go out shopping together! You can't exactly walk around Hell in an old wedding dress." He snapped his fingers and a white dress appeared before you with a belt that matches the pink in his vest appeared.

"…thanks." You force a smile. He places the dish to the side, and hugged you.

"Okay hang on!" You wiggled out of his grasp. "You need to stop touching me without my consent!"

He looked shocked but turned to look at the floor sullenly. "Sorry… I'm just happy to have someone around since my wife left me."

'He's trying to guilt trip you! Don't fall for it! Stand your ground!' You mentally screamed at yourself 

"And now that she's gone I guess I'm a bit touch starved. My daughter doesn't call or text. And the people of Hell aren't exactly the nicest, can't really go up to any of them and ask for a hug." He fiddled with the comforter under him.

'Stop it'  Your not sure who that was meant for.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I just- don't exactly pick up on people's feelings all the time. While that's no excuse I just… I'm sorry."

"…get out so I can change." You looked away. 'I will NOT develop feelings for the DEVIL of all people!'

He looked at you with big pleading eyes. "Can't I stay?"

"NO!"

"Oh right, you're traditional." He rolled his eyes.

'It's like it goes in one ear and out the other.' "Just leave!"

"Okay, sorry." He chuckled at you.

You slip on the dress and grab a comb from a big vanity across from the bed. 'I really need to be more observant. I can't stay here! I need to escape. But where would I go? It's Hell after all, not like they'll just let people out.' You opened the door and saw Lucifer fiddling with a duck in the hallway. He had put on a white top hat with a snake wrapped around it and had a crown and an apple as well. Next to him on the wall leaned a can with an apple for the handle. 

"Here! I made you this while waiting!"

"It's a duck." Was all you could say. 'No shit Sherlock.'

"Uh huh." He said with a big dopey grin.

"It looks like me."

"Cute isn't it?" He smiled.

"I think it’s ugly. This poor creature has to look like me after all." You joke.

He looked at you sadly. "Don't say that! You're beautiful! You're the most beautiful human I've met since Lilith!"

"Lilith? As in the Succubus from the Jewish religion?"

"Yeah... she was my first wife."

"I thought she was Adam's first wife."

"I told you I was the original "Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl."" He smirked. "Oh here!" He offers you white flats. "Can I put them on you?"

"Who the Fuck Am I Cinderella?"

"Well you certainly are a princess."

"If this is your way of telling me you see me as a pillow princess, just stop because that's not going to happen."

"Heh, I'm not even the one who made the innuendo this time."

"I'm not going to have sex with you."

"You'll want to once you fall in love with me!"

"Just give me the shoes." He handed them over and you slipped them on. "What's all this about anyway? Shouldn't you super busy running Hell, torturing sinners for all eternity?"

"I just want to spoil you with my riches! I'll give you anything you want! Anything at all! Just love me, want me, cherish me, and think only of me."

"Where have I heard that before? Other than a movie with IRL Kakashi (A/n: If you know, you know). I'm pretty sure it was in a big book. Matthew 4:10. Or is that wrong since you said that you and Satan are different people?"

"Doll. If you ever speak of that book in my house again, I will rip your tongue out."

'Daddy issues.' "So where are we going?" You change the subject.

"I'm so glad you asked." He grabbed his cane and started to walk away while you rush back to your room to put the duck down on the bed. "I rented out the fanciest shopping center in the pride ring! I don't know if I can take you to the other rings. Lilith transformed into a demon when she was cast into hell. Darling?"

"I had to put the duck down! Wait up!"

"Oh that reminds me I need more paint supplies. Hey! Have you ever had Cong You Bing. Let me tell you, for a pancake it's SO savory. I guess it's the syrup that makes pancakes sweet though. I like mine with whip cream. How about you?" 'He has a very one track mind.'

"Uh, chocolate chips and strawberries." You say as Lucifer opens the door to a long red Limo. 'Why is everything red? It's too much red!'

"Hm! I'll have to keep that in mind for tomorrow!" He slides in next to you. 

"We're not going to have pancakes every day are we? If So I might have to take over cooking breakfast."

"I would die to eat your cooking. I guess not because I don't really have a soul so I'd kind of cease to exist. But could you imagine if I ended up down here again! I'd be one unlucky bitch."

"Where will I go when I die?"

"I'm working on that Darling" You hadn't realized you said that out loud. 

Lucifer keeps talking while the limo drives into a huge town. Gigantic buildings lined every street. A few of the buildings had eyes. Some had strange designs like they were ripped out from a Dr. Sues Book. Others were dark and dingy; like whoever designed this was Tim Burton’s biggest fan. The limo took us into a bright neon district of the city.

"Wow! I've never seen a building so big! It's got to be at least 100 feet tall!"

"I've seen bigger. Box or whatever his name was is definitely trying to compensate."

The limo stopped in front of a long building, four stories tall. Neon blues mostly lined the outside and a bit on the inside. Neon pinks were scattered in some places. Lucifer turned to you and put a finger on your forehead bright light flashed from the tip. You looked down at you to see what he did and saw your skin turn gray. He brought out a mirror and sheepishly handed it to you. Your eyes turned black with yellow irises. Your hair was a vibrant aqua blue with some royal blue and royal purple streaks throughout it.

"Sorry. But I can't let everyone know that a live human is down here!"

He opened the door and held his hand out to you. You declined and opened the door on the other side and walked around the back to him. "Keep up."

He smirked and ran up to you. He motioned for you to follow him to the top floor. The whole top floor is only a single store. He led you to the front and immediately two attendants swarm him. "Welcome! May we have the pleasure of fitting you today, your highness?"

"Oh, no thank you ladies. We're here for her." The women looked back at you, like they weren't very impressed. One had black hair with the tips died purple with pink flowers tied throughout her hair. Her skin was lavender and so was her single eye, She wore a black button up shirt that was only buttoned on the last two buttons and underneath was a white lacy push up bra, her shirt tucked into black daisy dukes. She also had purple butterfly wings sprouting from her shoulder blades. The other girl was a blonde bunny with gold eyes. Her skin was covered in light yellow fur to match her hair. She was wearing a tight white dress with a sweetheart neckline, the skirt just barely covered her.

"Hm, we'll see what we can do." The bunny said. "I'm Firefly." She pushed herself against his arm.

"Adelpha." The other girl pushed herself against his other arm. "Renesmee!" A small Imp girl comes running out of the back. "Tend to her will you." It wasn't really a question. The two sale attendants led Lucifer away.

"Please follow me miss."

"Thank you Renesmee." You gave the small imp a smile. She wore a small black suit and her left horn was broken.

She lead you throughout the store looking for anything you might want. All you were interested in was finding a way out of hell.

"No one's ever gotten out, not since it's creation and the fall of the king and queen. What is your relationship with the king."

"Would you believe me if I said he kidnapped me?"

"Sold your soul, huh?"

"Someone else gambled away my life." You looked down sullenly. Renesmee was having trouble carrying all the outfits you had chosen, but she refused to let you help.

"What's that over there?" You pointed at nothing, and snatched a few outfits out of her hands.

"Miss please, this is my job!"

"I don't care! You're barely able to hold five outfits much less fifteen. You're a very sweet creature and you shouldn't overwork yourself." 

"Thank you miss, but really I can't allow you to. If the managers see that they'll report me to Velvette and she'll kill me! Or worse! She'll send me to work for Vox! No imp has lasted more than an hour in his care before they were sent straight to Valentino. I have a wife miss, and she's between jobs. I can't loose my job with the Vees and I don't want my face plastered in a porno."

"That's disgusting! Okay I won't hold them, but please sit and rest. I'll sit too."

"Okay." She sighed in relief.

"DARLING!!" Lucifer practically tackled you into a hug.

"What did I say about personal space?"

"Sorry I just missed you." He unhooked himself from you. "I found these cute duck pajama's in the clearance section and-" 

"Lucifer you said I could have anything I wanted."

"Yes! Anything!"

"I want you to hire Renesmee and her wife to be my personal staff."

"Miss that's not necessary."

The two clerks from before catch up and start to laugh. "Did you really think she'd hire you?" Adelpha laughed. "Pathatic! Get back to work you sister fucker!"

"Nina ain't my sister! She ain't even my species!"

"Does it really matter? You imps are so inbreed it's stunted your growth." Firefly doubled down. "The king would never hire a lowly Imp that can't even work an 8 hour shift without a five minute break every hour."

"Shut up! Renesmee is a much harder worker and a far better person than you whores!"

"Ignore them. It's just sinners being sinners." Lucifer turned you away from the women. 

"It's wrong! Renesmee didn't do anything except exist." You defended.

"Pfft look at this dumb bitch." Adelpha snickered. 

"That's just how thing's work down here. Imps work for the elite, they do menial labor." He retorted. 

"So you're telling me that they get abused and treated like shit because of how they were born. Isn't that literally racism?"

"Uh not exactly. It's just that sinners hold more weight than most Hellborn, since sinners are immortal and most Hellborn aren't." He panicked. 

"This stupid hussy is so dead." Firefly chortled. 

"We still get jobs miss. It's more of a social and raw power hierarchy." The small imp said. 

"So classism. What the fuck is this? Are you immortal? Is your kid going to have to inherit this flawed system? Is she immortal? Presumably she's Lilith's right? Or did you hook up in heaven? Is that allowed?" Thoughts flooded your head and spilled from your lips. 

"Woah woah, One question at a time darling. Heh, ironic coming from me. It's just all a bit much for me right now."

'A bit much for you? A BIT MUCH FOR YOU!? I had this whole thing thrust on me and you say that it's all a bit much for YOU!!' "You promised anything, Lucifer."

"Okay. Renesmee are you under contract with anyone?"

"I'm under a two week's notice policy with miss Velvette." 

"Go get any personal items from the back. I'll notify and compensate this Velvette character off your immediate resignation. As for you two." He glared at the two attendants that were mocking you. "Go ring up all these outfits and the ones I chose for my darling." He gives them a black card and escorted you to the exit. 5 minutes later renesmee comes rolling out riding on the back of a shopping cart. You don't even have the heart to ask where she got it from she looks too cute to mention anything.

You and Lucifer walked around the rest of the mall and he picked up anything that caught his eye. New paint supplies for his ducks; new rubber ducks; a duck necklace for you; a strawberry crepes that you two split begrudgingly on your side; he got you eight new pairs of shoes all in different colors and styles (red heals, orange flip flops, yellow sandals, green tennis shoes, blue boots, purple lolita style shoes, pink slip-ons, and black wedges); You drew the line at him coming in the with you to a store that was Hells version of Victoria Secret.

"Go buy some electronics! I'll need a phone down here."

He pouted. "Okay."

"He's so weird."

"I think the king just really likes you."

"No he's just weird. I hate how fast he's moving! It's suffocating." You gripped the skirt of your dress.

You bought out nearly the entire shop just as a little 'fuck you' to Lucifer that he wouldn't get to see you in any of them.

When you and Renesmee left you saw him waiting outside. He bought you a flatscreen, a Pc, a laptop, a wide screen monitor, a keyboard for said monitor, a matching mouse, cute cat headphones, and a fancy microphone. "I couldn't resist! I just had to spoil you!" He also had a few boxed in his hand. One was of medium size and had a picture of an iPad on it. One was small and had air-pods in them. One had a picture of a phone on the box. You took the phone and opened it up ready to get it set up.

Lucifer wrapped his arm around your waist and led you back to the limo as you fiddled with the phone.

Hey! This is the end of lucifer being a touch starved snake! If that's all you're here for I'll see you next chapter! If you want to stay for the angst enjoy the show!

The next day Lucifer woke up and was pulled away from you by Styx.

"Sire you have a meeting with the Sins today. It must have slipped your mind that the meeting was supposed to be YESTERDAY! the day of the new moon."

"Ugh let's get this over with." He walked into his study and slumped into his chair. He pulled up the video chat app. one by one the other Sins pop up. First Satan, next Mammon, then Leviathan. 

"Mammon." Leviathan said.

"Leviathan." Mammon retorted.

"Hah! I got here first I win! Fuck you guys."

"Technically I got here first." Lucifer smirked. Asmodues popped on.

"Froggy I have to go." He giggled as Fizz tickled him. 

"Oh uh, hi your majesty." Fizzarolli bowed awkwardly.

"Hello. It's always nice to see Ozzie's first serious fling."

"Hey!" Asmodues blushed. The others laughed.

"Well I should uh probably get going." Fizz blushed and hopped off camera.

"Hey everyone!" Beelzebub joined with no warning. "Hold on a second." She rushed to the door. "EVERYONE SHUT UP I'M ON A WORK CALL!! ... THANK YOU!"

"And as usual we're waiting for-" Mammon started sarcastically.

"I'm here!" Belphegor quickly signed on.

"Thank you everyone more moving our Doom Meeting to today." Lucifer smiled. (A/n: Zoom parody for those that don't get it)

"You better be fucking grateful!" Mammon sassed.

"What the fuck was so important that you had to move the meeting date!?" Satan screamed.

"It's not important." Lucifer dismissed their questions.

"Oh really? It wouldn't have anything to do with your new plaything would it?" Leviathan teased.

Lucifer blushed. "What?!" Ozzie and Bee gasped.

"You're out seeking love again after Lilith?" Ozzie took the lead.

"Let's go! Levi send the pics!"

"Don't you dare!" Lucifer threatened. Levi put them in the chat on the side. Belphegor had fallen asleep a while ago. She wasn't going to hear any of this. 

"She's adorable!" Ozzie squealed. 

"Where were you hiding this cutie?"

"A sinner? I thought you hated sinners!" Satan snarled.

"Are we going to have a meeting or not!" Mammon complained! "Time is money!"

"Leave, this is more important!" Ozzie encouraged.

"We can leave?" Satan asked enthusiastically. Him, Mammon, and Levi left.

"Hm?" Belphy woke up.

"You can leave Belphy." Lucifer smiled.

"You need help right? Charlie doesn't know, you've gotta tell her."

"Wait how do you know so much about this?" Bee looked at her surprised.

"Who do you think told Levi about the affair."

"Belphy!" Lucifer exclaimed.

"Sorry! You were just so sweet in those photo's to her."

"Should I tell Charlie? I mean I was hoping to just talk to her at the wedding."

"Woah! What wedding?" Ozzie asked.

"Oh yeah um her and I are getting married."

"How long have you two been together." Bee interogated.

"...three days."

"Yeah if you're going to move this fast you need to tell Charlie." Belphy encouraged.

"Okay, could you guys stay with me while I call her?" The three agreed and He dialed Charlie's number. "Hey sweetheart!"

"Hi dad. Do you need something?" She sounded a bit strained like she was waiting for him to ask a favor. 

"Um look Charlie. I know that things have been hard for you recently. And with the extermination that just happened a month ago you've been especially stressed."

"Uh Yeah! hold that though dad." She muted her dad and motioned Vaggie over. "Dad's finally talking about the exterminations."

"that's great honey."

"Hey dad!" she unmuted him. "you were saying..."

"Things have been hard for you and I appreciate everything that you're trying to do for the people." He was trying to butter her up and slowly easy into the idea of him getting remarried. "And you know things have been hard since your mom left."

"Yeah." She waited with baited breath. 

"Charlie... I met someone! Someone who's been a real big help and joy to me the whole time she's been with me. And I think she could really help you too."

"Really?! That's great dad!"

"Oh! Yeah, would you be willing to come by tonight and meet her?!"

"Of course! I'll be over at 5!"

"Great! See you then!"

"Bye dad!" 

"Bye!"

"Vaggie! We finally have a benefactor for the hotel!" Charlie bounced

"She took that rather well." lucifer smiled worried how you'd react to the news of meeting his daughter.

Surprisingly you took it rather well. You got dolled up and sat in the living room. Lucifer had to attend to a mini meeting to reschedule their failed meeting from this morning.

"You must be Charlie." You smiled. "You look exactly like your father. Only taller."

"Oh, thank you. My dad actually gave me this old suit jacket." It was pink and she had black flared pants with pink rims on the bottom.

You laughed. "It's hard to imagine someone like Lucifer wearing pink."

"No offense but you look... strangely human."

"It's a... long story."

"Right, well we better get down to business. may I ask what made you think redemption is possible in the first place?"

"...excuse me?"

"Redemption! The thing the Happy Hotel is- will be know for."

"What's the happy hotel?"

"Didn't my dad tell you? Isn't that why your here?"

"No." 'frankly I wish it were.' "Tell me about it."

"What?"

"No offense but the Devil's daughter trying to redeem people is a new one. And trust me I've heard a lot of crazy things." 

"I want to redeem sinners so that they can go to heaven!" She bursts out all at once.

"How will you do that?"

"Well I've been workshopping a little ditty. Would you mind if i performed for you? I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through song!"

"Please by all means! The floor is yours."

*insert inside of every demon is a rainbow*

By the end she's huffing and you clapped loudly giving her a standing ovation. "That was amazing!"

"Sorry I'm late ladies!" Lucifer entered.

"Dad! Who is she?"

"You didn't tell her?" He looked at you

"She's your daughter. It's not my place to say."

"If she doesn't want to be a benefactor for the hotel why did you want us to meet."

"Hey I never said I don't want to!" You chirped in the background but it's drowned out.

"Benefactor... Charlie when I said I met someone I meant... I-I didn't mean... I'm going to marry her..."

"What?" Charlie's voice cracked. "But what about Mom!"

"What about Mom?"

"I think I should go." You tried to leave. 

"Stay." Lucifer Ordered.

"You said that you'd love her forever!"

"Yeah at the beginning of Hell! Charlie SHE left ME. What am I supposed to do? wait for her to come crawling back to me?" 

"It would be better than you running around with some floozy under your arm digging her way into your checkbook. Does she even love you?"

"She loves me very much!"

"I really feel like I this is a father daughter Moment."

"Stay!" Charlie ordered her horns Popping out as she uttered the word. "How long have you been together?"

"A while!"

"You literally said like two days ago a month was nothing in the face of eternity." You said and this was ignored. "So now you'll ignore me."

"Don't lie to me!"

"A few days."

"A few days?!"

"When you were younger you only took a few days to know you wanted to date Seviathan!"

"I was a teenager! And look how that relationship ended."

"Charlie I know what I'm doing. I really thought that'd You'd be more supportive of me and my decisions."

"I Really don't think I should be here."

"STAY!" They both shouted at you, their horns popping from their heads, and this time you sat. 

"You always told me that Mom was the only one for you and now you're throwing that away?"

"Charlie... I thought that out of everyone I know, you'd be the most mature about this. You know I love you but you're being a spoiled brat about this! I've given up so much for your happiness. I have mad sacrifice after sacrifice and all I'm asking for is for you to understand where I'm coming from. I'm Lonely Charlie."

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to this."

"Charlie stop! You're acting like a child!"

"Don't dad. Just don't." She left.

"Lucifer! I don't want to come between you and your daughter. I grew up on evil stepmom stories, I don't want to be like that."

"Just!- We will talk about this later." And he left you alone.

"Great! Now I have the Devil and his daughter angry at me and each other! Way to go me! And on top of all of that I still don't have anyway to get home! I'm going to DIE!" You screamed into a pillow.

[hellinistical]

fem! reader x rafayel. royal! au. sea horror! au. heavy angst. minor and major character death. slow burn. romance. fluff. explicit smut. trauma. religious themes. gore; hinted torture, cannibalism, decapitation, self-cannibalism. violence. wc: 4796 | status: on-going

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II: GOLD STRUCK

The wagon wheels were obviously wobbly, the axles needing immediate tightening, not that anyone would care to repair them, though. The rainy season was in full effect, and the roads were the sky’s first victim. A dog chased after a squirrel, it’s barking annoying the merchant nearby. He cursed the dog and his bloodline. 

“To hell with Linkon! To hell with this damned town!” His broom thwacked at the wood sign on his stall. “When I catch you, you damned dog, why, you’ll be roasted with your litter!”

“Oh Mr. Heggins, relax! It’s just a dog!” “Just a dog? Why you- you let him out, didn’t you, Caleb? I should get you fired from the mines for this!”

Caleb laughed, crow's feet forming by his eyes as he smiled big. His hands held orchids. He had picked them from his mother's garden earlier that morning, meticulously picking the best ones without her knowing. In his pocket, a small box rested.

Mr. Heggins eyes note the flowers and the small lump in his pocket. 

“Today's the day, eh?”

Caleb nodded, his cheeks tinging with red. 

“Yes, sir. I plan to ask tonight.”

“Ah, before the king's carriages come? Bad timing, no?”

“No, sir.”

It's quiet for a moment before the old man speaks up. 

“And out of everyone you could have, you chose the L/n's daughter.” He lets out a pitiful chuckle. “I won't question it, but to each their own.” 

As the old man walked off, Caleb hummed, his hand going to his pocket, patting it affectionately as he walked on through the streets.

He grabbed some pumpkin bread, the honey, and roasted almonds on it making it smell heavenly. 

He collected some gifts. A doll, a kite, perfumes, and a watch. 

And then he headed off towards Linkon's hill village. 

*** Hot water splashed onto the weathered wood floorboards, the basin full to the brim. Sprigs of lavender, rosemary, and orange slices floated on the water, and Mrs. L/n poured fresh milk into the tub. 

“Is this really necessary?” Y/n huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not getting in there- I won’t even be selected.” “Yes, you are. And I’m tired of you not listening to me.” “Mother- owowowowowowow!” 

The older woman grabbed her ear, pinching it lightly as she pulled her daughter towards the tub. Y/n held onto the wall, protesting. “I’m not going in there you; put milk in there! It’ll feel weird!” “Take the damn bath, child! Eva! Call your sisters and come here!”

“Coming, Mother!”

In moments, Y/n’s sisters came into the room. Eva smiled cheekily. “Today’s the day~!” “Like hell it is.” She shot back, wriggling in her mother’s grip. “You all act like you want me to get picked! Does Gran even know what you’re doing? Ma?” Her mother looked away, her hands going to the clasp on the back of Y/n’s dress. She undid it quickly, and the fabric pooled at her feet, ignoring her question.

“Strip out of your garments- Gods, you reek- is this wool? Y/n! You messed with the sheep again!” “I did not! I was with the ram- hey!” She placed her hand on the back of her head, the sting from her mother’s popping strong.

Lucy laughed, her chubby hands taking the stripped clothes to the wash.

“You’ve all gone mad. I hope you know that.” It comes out as a grumble, but she goes into the tub. But as soon as she stepped in, she complained. “The water’s freezing!” “That’s what you get for talking so long.” Her mother quipped. Her face sours as an orange slice touches her knee.

Raising her leg, Eva takes it, scrubbing it down as her mother starts to work on her hair. She hisses, her scalp tender as it gets scrubbed as well. 

“The weather is lovely, isn’t it?” “Just dandy.”

“What time is it?” “Half after 12, mother.” “Lord! We need to hurry then.” “Did you always have such a strawberry complexion, sister?” Y/n kicks water at her sister. “Quiet, you-”

She’s interrupted by her mother pouring a bucket of water over her head. Her hair gets thrown in her face, and she swallows some soapy, milky water, sputtering and coughing.

“Both of you, quiet. I’ll be damned if our good name is tarnished because you both decide to act like Neanderthals.

Y/n coughed out some more water. “I think calling me a Neanderthal isn’t fair- but Eva on the other hand- Oh my fucki- can you stop getting soap in my eyes?!”

“Language!”

***

Y/n shivers as she steps out of the basin, her arms crossed, knees turned, and locked. 

Some of the rosemary was tangled in her hair, but she paid it no mind.

Wrapping a towel around her body, Eva grabbed a comb, getting to work on untangling the knots and rosemary in her hair.

“This is ridiculous.”

“You would still get picked if you were covered in cow shit, so cease your bitching,” her mother shot back, not missing a beat as she scrubbed her daughter’s hair with renewed vigor.

Y/n's mouth dropped open, and she groaned. “You’re impossible!”

But her mother only raised an eyebrow. “And yet, here you are, complaining like always.”

Lucy waddled into the room, her small arms bundled up with a light blue chemise gown, the fabric soft and worn from years of storage. The short sleeves were cuffed, and though the dress had once been elegant, it was now out of date- the gaudy stitching showing the era it was from. Y/n’s eyes widened in horror as she realized what Lucy was holding.

“You can’t seriously expect me to—” Y/n began, her voice rising in protest.

But before she could finish, her mother yanked the towel off her body with practiced efficiency. “Of course not,” Mrs. L/n replied, her tone calm and unwavering. “Not until you’ve been plucked.”

Eva stepped forward, smirking as she handed her mother a razor, her grin mischievous. Y/n stared at it, her lips parting in disbelief. “Oh, come on...”

Mrs. L/n motioned for the sisters to leave. Eva, Lucy, and the others filed out, whispering and giggling amongst themselves as they shut the door behind them, leaving the room unusually still. The bright daylight streaming through the window seemed too cheerful for what was about to happen.

Y/n sighed heavily and sat on the small stool, arms wrapped around herself in half-hearted defiance. Her mother wordlessly knelt beside her, taking the razor and beginning the task of smoothing over her skin with slow, deliberate strokes.

For a few moments, the only sound in the room was the quiet scrape of the blade against her skin, the soft splash of water, and the occasional sigh from Y/n. It was a silence filled with things left unsaid, the weight of what was coming pressing on both of them.

Y/n looked down at her hands, picking at a loose thread on the towel. "I still don't think this is going to work. They'll want someone else," she murmured, not meeting her mother's eyes.

Her mother didn't respond immediately, her hands steady as she worked. Finally, she spoke, her voice softer than before. "It’s not about what they want, Y/n. It’s about what you’re worth. Remember, the better you do, the better we all do."

“Why do you want me to get picked so badly?” Y/n asked quietly, her voice trembling despite her attempts to sound nonchalant. “You know I’ll mess up.”

Mrs. L/n paused mid-stroke, her hands hovering for a moment before continuing, the razor gently gliding over her daughter's skin. She didn't meet Y/n’s gaze, but her words were firm.

“I don’t want you to go. What gave you that idea?”

Y/n blinked, caught off guard by the blunt response. Her throat tightened, but she said nothing, the silence suddenly heavy between them. 

Her mother’s eyes were fixed on her task, but the strain in her voice betrayed her emotions. “You think I want to see you paraded around like livestock? Gods know I don’t.” She set the razor aside for a moment, finally looking up at Y/n. “But if you’re chosen… at least you’ll be safe.”

Y/n swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. For once, she had no sharp retort.

"...They'll smell the farm on me," Y/n tried to joke, a small smirk tugging at her lips. "And it's not like the town doesn't have a reputation for me."

Mrs. L/n froze, her brow furrowing before she snapped, "Y/n M/n L/n. You will stop talking this instant!" She threw her hands up in exasperation, the razor clattering against the basin. “Ugh, by the Gods, you will jinx yourself, and no amount of rosemary will be able to fix it!”

Y/n bit her lip, stifling a laugh despite the tension in the air. She knew her mother meant well, but the whole situation still felt so surreal—so out of place for someone like her.

There was a knock on the door. Y/n's head snapped toward it, her brows knitting in confusion. Her father’s voice called through the wooden frame, calm and warm as always. 

“The boy is here, my loves.”

Y/n frowned. "Caleb? What’s he doing here?"

Mrs. L/n didn’t answer, her focus entirely on finishing the task at hand. She ignored Y/n’s questioning gaze and continued to move the razor carefully, finishing her legs before working up to her cunt.

"Never mind that," her mother finally said, her tone clipped. "We need to finish."

She turned toward the door, calling out in her usual brisk, commanding voice, “There’s a roast in the oven! Check it for me, please!”

“Aye, I will,” her father replied, the sound of his footsteps retreating down the hall.

Y/n slouched slightly on the stool, still puzzled. “He does know today is the collection, right?” Y/n asked, a hint of uncertainty creeping into her voice.

“Perhaps he’s wishing to bid you good luck. But it will have to wait,” her mother replied, still focused on her work.

“Oh.”

Y/n sighed, the thought lingering in her mind. It made sense enough. They had talked about their plans—what they would do if she didn’t get picked. Caleb would take his father’s horse, and they’d ride out of Linkon together. A smile tugged at her lips as she recalled the silly memory of him telling her the same thing every year. 

But she hadn’t seen him lately; he was always busy with family matters, tending to the farm, or preparing for whatever life awaited him. 

Once Y/n was dressed, she stood stiffly, adjusting the light blue gown that felt foreign against her skin. “I can feel every stitch, Mama.”

“It’s because your skin’s bare. It’s a good feeling. A good thing,” her mother replied, a hint of pride in her voice.

“I’ll get cold easier.”

“Oh please. You weren’t even furry,” her mother teased.

Y/n let out an unexpected laugh, the tension breaking for just a moment. But then the door swung open, and her father stepped in, whistling a cheerful tune.

“There she is. My darlings!” He kissed his wife and then pressed a warm kiss to Y/n’s cheek. He pauses. “You smell like the farm.”

Y/n shot a look at her mother. “Told you so.”

“He's messing with you,” her mother said, rolling her eyes.

Just then, Caleb ducked his head under the doorframe, a bright smile on his face. “Good evening, Mrs. L/n. I’ve brought gifts.”

“Gifts? You shouldn’t have!” her mother exclaimed, a warm smile spreading across her face.

“I wanted to,” Caleb said, his tone sincere.

“Oh, you sweet boy. Come, let’s go talk.” Mrs. L/n took Caleb’s hand, pulling him out of the washroom. 

As their eyes met, Caleb’s purple gaze sparkled with a kind of mischief that made Y/n’s heart race. She felt her cheeks heat up but managed to wave, a shy smile breaking through her earlier worries.

Once they left, Y/n found herself alone with her father in the warm, sunlit room. The air was thick with the lingering scents of lavender and rosemary, remnants of her mother’s frantic preparations. Mr. L/n glanced out the door, ensuring it was securely closed before turning to face her, his expression suddenly serious.

“Are you nervous, child?” he asked, his voice low and steady, a contrast to the bustling energy that had just filled the space.

“Nervous?” Y/n echoed, furrowing her brow in confusion. “About today?”

“Hm... no, can’t say I am.” She crossed her arms, trying to project confidence, but the truth was a tangle of emotions lay beneath her surface.

He studied her for a moment, the lines on his face deepening with concern. “You’re a horrible liar. That’s my fault. Should have taught you better.”

“Papa—”

“Listen. You’re no fool. You’ve got a good head on you,” he said, placing a hand on his chin, his thumb tracing the stubble there as he exhaled slowly, the weight of his thoughts pressing down like a storm cloud.

Y/n felt a knot tighten in her stomach, her heart racing as he continued. “That boy is going to propose. And you need to accept.”

Her eyes widened in shock, disbelief flashing across her face. “Huh?”

“That's how you don’t get picked,” he insisted, his tone firm yet gentle, as if trying to shield her from the harsh realities of their world.

“But—”

“Listen to me, child. You need to accept—today. Before it’s too late. Once you’re engaged, they can’t collect you.” 

“To Caleb?” she asked, her voice trembling with a mix of hope and uncertainty. The idea danced in her mind like a flickering flame, both enticing and frightening. Would it truly save her? 

“Yes!” he affirmed, leaning closer, his eyes locking onto hers with a fervent intensity. “You think we have luck when it comes to this sort of thing? We don’t,” Mr. L/n continued, his voice lowering even further as he leaned closer. “We should have married you to him months ago, but there was never an opportunity. We have the papers. You just need to have some witnesses—”

“You cheated the system?!” Y/n whisper-yelled, her eyes wide with a mix of disbelief and indignation.

“Of course I did!” he replied, a hint of pride breaking through his urgency. “I did it to protect you. You have no idea what they do to the girls they collect. We have to outsmart them.”

“I can’t marry Caleb! Are you crazy? I don’t even want to get married—” Y/n protested, her voice rising in disbelief.

“This isn’t about what you want! You love the boy; he loves you!” Mr. L/n countered, his frustration simmering beneath the surface.

“Yeah, but—” she started, her mind racing as she tried to find the right words.

“Listen to me,” he urged, his voice softening as he stepped closer. “This is about survival. The kingdom doesn’t care about your dreams or desires; they only see you as another name on a list. But if you’re engaged, they can’t touch you.”

Y/n took a deep breath, the reality of her situation weighing heavily on her chest. “What if Caleb doesn’t want this? What if he thinks I’m just using him?”

“Caleb knows—he's been helping orchestrate this!” Mr. L/n interjected, a mix of urgency and relief washing over him.

Y/n’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What do you mean he knows? How could you—?”

“I spoke to him. He understands the situation, Y/n. He’s been looking out for you, and he wants to keep you safe.” Her father’s voice softened, but the intensity of his words remained.

“Caleb is in on this?” she asked, her mind racing. The idea that Caleb had been part of this plan, that he had considered her fate alongside his own, sent her heart racing.

“Yes! He cares for you deeply, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect you,” Mr. L/n explained, a hint of pride- and something else- in his voice.

She closed her eyes for a moment, envisioning Caleb’s kind smile and the playful banter they shared. Could he really be ready for something so serious? The thought of it both terrified and thrilled her. 

***

Caleb sat in the dingy dining room of the L/n household, his hand absently resting in his pocket. The scent of roasted meat wafted through the air, mingling with the musty smell of the worn furniture. Truthfully, the L/n farmland was rich and fruitful, bursting with potential, but the home itself felt shabby and neglected.

“Once we’re married, I can fix this place up…” he mumbled to himself, envisioning the changes he could make. The walls painted fresh, new furniture, perhaps even a small garden where Y/n could grow flowers. His heart swelled at the thought.

In the corner of the room, her sisters and mother were clustered together, giggling and gushing over the gifts he had brought—colorful ribbons, handmade trinkets, and sweets. Their excitement filled the air, but Caleb was lost in his own thoughts, barely noticing their chatter.

It wasn’t until Y/n emerged from the washroom, her father beside her, that he realized she was near. His heart skipped a beat as she stepped into the room, her vibrant orange hair catching the light. She looked radiant, even in the simple gown she wore, and a smile spread across his face as their eyes met.

“Good evenin', Y/n,” he greeted, warmth flooding his voice. “You look lovely.” 

Y/n’s cheeks flushed as she returned his smile, but there was an uncertainty in her gaze that made him wonder what was going through her mind. He wanted to ask about the selection ceremony, about her feelings, but for now, he simply stood there, hoping the moment would allow for the words to come.

“Er, hello, Caleb,” Y/n replied, her voice slightly shaky but warm.

He chuckled, a playful glint in his purple eyes. “You look like a strawberry.”

Eva snorted from the corner, unable to stifle her laughter. Y/n cleared her throat, determined to hold her ground. “Yes, well, thank you. They’re in season.”

“Are they now?” Caleb’s tone was teasing, and Y/n couldn’t help but smile despite the slight embarrassment. Strawberries weren’t in season, but he enjoyed the banter.

“They are,” she insisted, a spark lighting up her eyes.

“Then I trust you know where the ripe one is?” His gaze was warm, his smile contagious.

Y/n felt her cheeks flush deeper, but before she could respond, he gently took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. The touch sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. Together, they walked out of the house, the chatter of her family fading behind them.

As they stepped into the sunlit yard, the gentle breeze carried the scent of the sea, mingling with the earthy aromas of the farm. Caleb turned to her, his expression shifting to something more serious. “I’ve been thinking about what’s happening today…”

Y/n’s heart raced. She knew this was the moment to speak up, to share her fears and her father’s plan. But for now, she let the warmth of his hand and the softness of the afternoon settle around them, hoping to find the right words as they moved further from the house and deeper into the lush fields.

“Listen... I wanna marry you—” Caleb began, his tone earnest.

“Yes,” Y/n interrupted, her heart racing.

“What?” His expression shifted, surprise flashing across his face.

“Yes! I’ll marry you,” she declared, her excitement bubbling over.

“Let me finish,” he said, his brow furrowing slightly.

Y/n looked at him, confusion evident in her eyes.

Caleb’s smile faded, replaced by a serious expression. “Y/n. Don’t get me wrong. You’re a beautiful woman. And we’re good friends. But really, it’d be more of an exchange. I’ll marry you. But I want your father’s farm.”

Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“I mean it,” he pressed, his voice steady but tinged with urgency. “If we’re going to make this work, we need to secure the land. The L/n farm is rich, and with your hand in marriage, I’d have both a partner and a stake in something that could thrive.”

Y/n felt her heart drop. The warmth of the moment had evaporated, replaced by a chill of realization. “You want to marry me for the farm?” she asked, hurt creeping into her voice.

Caleb’s expression hardened, his jaw set. “You thought this wouldn’t have an exchange? Marriage is a contract. I keep you safe, I get the land.”

“I can’t give you what isn’t mine,” Y/n shot back, her voice rising in disbelief.

“Look, you’re inheriting the farm. Your father is old. When I marry you, I inherit the farm instead. You’ll still have your sheep and goats, but I want you to stay in the gardens with the flowers.” He stepped closer, his eyes earnest. “Think about it. I’ll spruce the place up, combine our land. We can make a name for ourselves!”

Y/n stared at him, the weight of his words settling heavily on her shoulders. “You’re talking about my life as if it’s just an asset, Caleb! What if I don’t want to be tied to the farm? What if I want to travel, to explore beyond Linkon?”

He paused, the intensity in his eyes faltering. “But this is our home! This is where our lives are. We can make it better together.”

Caleb’s expression softened momentarily, but he quickly masked it with determination. “I’m not trying to control you! I just see potential—”

“Potential for what? For you to fulfill your dreams at the expense of mine?” Y/n felt anger bubbling inside her. “You’re reducing our relationship to a business deal!”

“I’m trying to think practically!” he insisted, frustration creeping into his voice. “We live in a harsh world, Y/n. If you get chosen today, it could be the end of everything for us. I just want to protect you!.... I care about you. But this isn’t just about us. It’s about doing what’ll be best.”

Silence hung between them, heavy with unspoken words and emotions. Y/n looked at him.

...Why did it feel scripted?

She ignores the brief thought, letting it slip just as quickly as it had arrived. “I need time to think,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

“You don’t have time to think,” Caleb said suddenly, pulling a small box from his pocket. He opened it to reveal a simple yet elegant ring. “I got the ring. Just wear it.”

“You’re kidding,” Y/n replied, disbelief flooding her voice.

“I’m not,” he insisted, his gaze steady.

“Caleb—” she started, but he interrupted her.

“That farm is precious, and your family doesn’t even see it. Just marry me and let me help you.”

Y/n’s heart raced as she stared at the ring. “You can’t just expect me to decide everything right now! This is my life we’re talking about!”

“I know it is! But we’re out of time. If you don’t make a choice before the selection, you could end up as one of those girls, the ones that don't get anything good!”

The gravity of his words settled in her chest like a stone. She thought of the stories her grandmother had told her, the dark legends woven through the village about the gathering and the sacrifices. The idea of becoming one of those girls made her stomach churn.

“Caleb, this isn’t the way,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t want to feel like I’m being sold off or bartered for land.”

“But you wouldn’t be! You’d be marrying someone who loves you, who wants to protect you!” He took a step closer, desperation flickering in his eyes. “Please, just wear the ring. We can figure everything else out together.”

Scripted. It felt so scripted. But why?

Y/n felt torn, her heart battling against her mind. The prospect of safety and partnership clashed with her desire for freedom and choice. “I… I need to think about it,” she said, her voice trembling.

“Look, if you’re not gonna marry me, I can wait for Eva. Or I’ll marry Lorraine—”

“Eva? Lorraine? Excuse me? Them of all people?” Y/n shot back, incredulous. The idea felt like a slap. Lorraine was the village gossip, always getting into trouble and never taking anything seriously. And her sister? Absolutely.

Caleb shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’m just saying, she wouldn’t mind. If you don’t want me, someone else will step in.”

“Right, because that’s how love works,” Y/n snapped, her frustration boiling over. “You can’t just jump from one sister to another like we’re some kind of game to you!”

“It’s not a game!” he argued, stepping closer, the tension thickening the air between them. “This is about survival, Y/n! Don’t you see? You can either have me fighting for you or risk being taken away, offered to the sea. I don’t want to lose you!”

Y/n’s heart raced as she considered his words again, the weight of the impending selection pressing down on her. The fear of the Dark Sea loomed larger than ever. “But I don’t want to feel trapped,” she said, her voice quieter now, almost pleading.

Caleb softened, his expression earnest. “You won’t be trapped with me. We can make it work, and build a life together. Just think about it—before it’s too late.”

As she looked into his eyes, Y/n felt a swirl of emotions—fear, anger, and- disgust? But the thought of marrying him out of desperation gnawed at her conscience. “I need more time- stop saying we don't have it."

“Time is the one thing we don’t have,” he replied, frustration creeping back into his voice. “Please, just wear the ring. Show me you’ll consider this. I can’t bear the thought of you being chosen—”

“Y/n! Come on, we’re waiting for you!” Eva’s voice called from the house, pulling her back to reality.

Caleb took her hand, his grip firm but gentle, as he slid the ring onto her finger. “Insurance. Just in case,” he said, his voice steady despite the uncertainty swirling around them.

Y/n blinked, her heart racing, but before she could respond, laughter echoed from inside the house. Her family had gathered, and when they saw Caleb placing the ring on her finger, their cheers erupted like a sudden storm.

“Oh, look at that!” her mother exclaimed, beaming. “My darling Y/n is engaged!”

Y/n’s eyes widened in shock. “No! Wait!” But the joyous noise drowned out her protests. Eva clapped her hands, and Lucy jumped up and down, her chubby cheeks flushed with excitement.

“Caleb! You clever boy!” Eva gushed. “We knew you’d come through!”

“But you don’t understand—” Y/n started, but her voice was lost in the commotion.

“Come here, you two!” Mrs. L/n pulled Y/n into a tight embrace, tears of joy glimmering in her eyes. “I’m so proud of you, my sweet girl. You’re all grown up!”

Y/n felt the weight of her mother’s affection, but dread settled heavily in her chest. She glanced at Caleb, searching for a flicker of understanding, but he was caught up in the whirlwind of celebration, a victorious grin plastered across his face.

“Now we can start planning the wedding!” her mother continued, clapping her hands together. “This is wonderful news! The whole village will be thrilled!”

Y/n’s heart sank. The idea of a wedding felt like a chain, tightening around her, and the implications of her father’s words crashed over her again. Marrying Caleb was supposed to be a lifeline, a way to escape the selection—but something was off.

“Are you really happy about this?” she whispered to Caleb, who was now being congratulated by her father.

He turned, his expression earnest. “Of course I am. This is our chance. You’ll see.”

But Y/n could only nod, a forced smile on her lips, as the celebration continued around her. 

And in the distance, carriages were coming, adorned with the rain clouds. 

taglist: @0chemicalwaste0 copyright © 2024 Hellinistical all rights reserved. no part of this story may be reposted, edited, or reproduced without the author’s permission.

[cosmicladyy]

// not smut, but not exactly pg //

If there was one thing Bowser enjoyed doing the most in the entire world, it was being a ruler.

It filled him with pride whenever he'd give his kingdom a once over, marveling at how much it's grown and developed. His home has never looked better, in his humble opinion.

From the blindingly bright jewels that glitter so prettily in his treasure room from numerous raids to the unwavering loyalty of his many citizens, he was a force to be reckoned with.

there was a weight of respect that came with being the King of the Koopas.

The only thing better than that? Being married to you.

The day he was officially able to call you his was one of the proudest days of his life. After ruling alone for (not that) many years, he finally had an equal to sit next to him and enjoy the spoils of his thriving kingdom.

Someone to help him shoulder any burden that might fall on him to fix. Someone to hold him when he's able to relax after a grueling day of ordering his minions around.

Someone who gets to see him.

he also wasn't opposed to the handsome statues of him that would pop up in various places around the kingdom.

what he didn't like doing, was sitting through meeting after meeting every few weeks with his minions about what they did/didn't do in their assigned jobs around the growing kingdom.

no matter how many times he'd moan and groan about it being 'a complete waste of time' and 'something a super cool king should NOT be doing', he'd always be dragged out by the horns by either you or on the very rare chance, Kamek.

you'll admit, it's not the most fun way you could be spending the afternoon, but it's a necessity to keep the kingdom in order.

he'd try to postpone or get out of it, none of which worked because he wasn't as sneaky as he'd like to think he is.

he once tried to skip it because he claimed he was terribly wounded earlier that day and needed to recover.

(it was a papercut)

Today's focus was mainly touching on any reports or disturbances the minions had from the patrols. Bowser knew that there wasn't anything major that needed his attention, but it was protocol in the kingdom to discuss any and everything that they'd seen.

At least, that's what Kamek said.

He could already feel the headache coming as he begrudgingly got ready, perched on his side of the bed.

"Why can't one of the koopas step in for me? not like anyone'll notice the difference." He tried to bargain, buckling on his signature spiked wristbands.

"I doubt it, you're the only one of your...stature." a grumble is your only answer.

you barely paid any mind to your spikey husband's whiny ramblings, too busy primping yourself for the meeting. you offer him a pensive 'hmm.' and turn to him.

"How do I look?" You ask, giving him a small twirl to take you in, as the fabrics you've dressed yourself in move with you.

"Ehh.." He shakes his hand from side to side.

"Jerk!" You gasp and jump at him, earning a belly laugh as he barely tries to fight off your punches to his firm side, even though they don't hurt him in the slightest. "Easy there, sweetheart, only joking." He grabs your hips carefully and straddles you over his lap.

"You're absolutely stunning, no matter what you wear."

even after all that time together, you can still feel your face heat up at his compliment.

wrapping your arms around his neck, you softly kiss his snout and smile at him lovingly, "Keep talking."

he chuckles deeply and lets out a puff of hot air through his nose.

"you're absolutely alluring. I find myself lucky to be in your presence."

a giggle bubbles in your throat as you bury your face in his scaly neck.

"y'know.." his claws run up and down your back slowly, "we don't have to start on time."

"Oh?" you lean back and raise an eyebrow at him.

"S'not like the throne room's goin' anywhere." you can practically feel him undressing you in his mind as his fiery eyes look you up and down.

you bring your hands up to his rough face and bring him closer, "Someone's feeling needy."

"when it comes to you? always."

you chucked at his attempts and pull away.

"Nice try." you tease, relishing in the dumbfounded look that materializes on the Koopa king's face, and give his cheek a pinch, "C'mon, it's about to start."

your only answer is a deep, bellowing growl as you hop out of his grip.

____

As expected, he was bored to pieces,

Guard after Guard, General after General, he absentmindedly nods in acknowledgment as they drone on about their shifts. Whenever he felt they fell short of their jobs, he'd 'loudly encourage' them to do better.

("Be nice," you whispered at him harshly after he reprimanded a shy guy for delaying an expected shipment from the kongs.

"Well, I would be if I had more competent men," he growled back.

"Watch it.")

He's particularly ticked after learning about a recent run-in with a certain denim-wearing tumbler.

"What do you mean he 'outran' you?" He tensely questioned a high-ranking Koopa who patrolled the outskirts of dark lands, wings nervously twitching behind him.

"H-he, uh, managed to slip into a pipe at the last second, your majesty."

from where you were sitting, you could see him start to sweat bullets as your husband balls up his fist tightly, the fire deep within him close to erupting out of his sharp-toothed mouth.

As he prepares to fire off in a harsh tangent, you quickly jump from your seat and address the general.

"I'm sure you've tried your best, I know slippery he can be," not really, you've probably met him a few times, "just be on the lookout next time and keep up the good work."

The koopa rings his hands out as he shakily glances over at Bowser, who seethes quietly from his seat and looks like he's two seconds away from frying him alive. The general looks back at you gratefully and nods, spouting how he'll be faster next time and won't let you down; he was also thanking you a hundred times over for saving him from scorching demise.

As he moves back to his place in the room, another general, a goomba, steps forward and begins his report.

The giant Koopa next to you lets out an annoyed groan, earning his righthand's attention and a light smack to the arm from you. he sinks lower into his throne and taps his nails on the headrest, counting down the seconds until he's relieved from duty.

Sensing his king's rapidly decreasing mood, Kamek clears his throat and hurriedly addresses the crowd.

"His Royal Highness has graciously allowed time for a fifteen-minute break and not a minute longer. Return here on time or else." The old Magikoopa threatens.

A resounding breath of relief fills the throne room as the varying generals and lackeys all walk out, occasionally bumping into each other to leave as quickly as possible.

Kamek quickly dismisses himself in a cloud of pink and leaves you two alone.

whipping your head around, you lightly glare at your royal pain in the ass.

"Y'know, you could pretend to be interested in what they're saying."

all you get is a "feh." and a backhanded wave as he plops his chin into his clawed hand, holding himself up on the armrest closest to you.

an exasperated sigh escapes your lips. at this rate, he'll burn the place to the ground from boredom and annoyance; or at the very least, turn a few unsuspecting koopas into skeletons.

bribery should work, you think as you lean closer to his aggravated form.

"I'll let you do that thing you really like," you whispered huskily, running a hand up his scaly arm.

almost comically, he shoots up straight on his throne and excitedly looks over at you, "Really?"

"If you make it without yelling at anybody else," you add on.

watching the gears turn in his head, a smug look sweeps across his face, "how about a sample?"

he chuckles at the roll of your eyes but is quickly rendered silent as you pull him in by his collar, your lips connecting with his own.

his eyes slide shut as he feels you move your hands from to hold onto his broad shoulders.

the kiss, starting sweet and welcoming, is quick to turn passionate and heavy as you both chase one another, refusing to part for air.

you briefly pull away, only to hop from your throne to his and straddle his lap, similar to the position you were in a few hours ago.

he chases after your lips and pulls you in, sealing your lips together as he claws at your top, the other slowly climbing up your thigh.

the air around you is steadily growing hot, the previous silence being filled with moans and groans of a different nature from both of you.

bowser pulls a breathy, loud moan out of you as he grinds into you in a way that has you seeing stars. a growl rumbles deep in his chest as you run your nails along his fiery, red hair by his neck.

as quickly as it started, it ended when you pulled away, having already heard the echoing marching from the incoming troops.

bowser narrows his ruby-red eyes at you as his chest heaves, "So that's how you wanna play it?"

his only answer is a satisfied smirk as you fix yourself in your seat as if you didn't just pull him into a soul-searing makeout session.

the doors are swung open as guards of different sizes pile into the room once again, random conversations filling the once-quiet atmosphere.

You greet the returning group with a smile, watching as they take their seats and mentally prepare to hear the rest of the reports.

Kamek appears right next to the larger koopa in the same cloud he left in and looked expectingly at his king, "Shall we continue?"

You can practically feel his piercing gaze on the side of your face before hearing him whisper to his advisor.

"How about a quick bathroom break?"

"Bowser!"

[mmelionsblog]

ᴄᴜᴅᴅʟᴇꜱ [lucifer x reader]

your eyes squint with water in them, your breathing stuttering instead of having a nice cool flow. you were staggering your way back to charlie’s brand new hazbin hotel, and all you wanted to do when you got back there was flop into your nice big made clean bed. everyone you knew in that hotel knew that you were the shiny, happy go to, amazing friend whenever they needed a friend like you instead of charlie— whom they all love of course, just a bit too much sometimes.

as soon as you opened the doors to the hotel, you heard your friends making chaos somewhere. your eyebrows twitched with all the screaming, your headache only getting worse as seconds go by.

“why, someone doesn’t have a smile on for once!” alastor popped up from behind you, making you trip on your untied shoe. glaring at him from the floor, you spoke “as much as i love you alastor, i just need space away from everyone right now. please— could you be a doll and distract them till i get into my room?” you asked him.

alastor’s smile twitched a bit, but he hummed in agreement. “as you wish, my dear.” he patted your head and disappeared to wherever your darling friends where. as soon as you got into the elevator, you laid yourself on the wall and closed your eyes for a good minute.

-

“where’d you go alastor?” vaggie asked, her eyebrowed raised when she saw the familiar red man. “just to greet the guest that came in,” he sang out. charlie’s smile beamed, “WE HAVE A GUEST? YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?”

alastor chuckled at her reaction, “no. we know this guest. our old dear apple just came back from her other- 9 to 5 job.” he spoke. lucifer perked up at the mention of his new girl, “my ducklings home?” alastor nodded.

“she’s home, but i’m assuming she had a rough day. she was definitely not herself when i spooked her from behind.” lucifer bit his lip, “thanks for informing me!” he poofed, leaving red clouds from where he was last seen. “oh i should’ve informed him our sweetest girl doesn’t want to be seen.” the redhead tch’d, “oh well. he’ll learn soon enough.”

-

your make up is a disaster, ruining your perfect white pillow as you were on a call with the one and only beetlejuice who was yapping his ass off that he found a new girl he could haunt with, what was her name? lydia? yeah.. “b.j, i’m— im really not in the mood right now.” beetlejuice’s eyes widen when he saw a familiar king of hell behind her, “oh shit! erm, yo are you banging the king of hell or what?!” his raspy voice screamed, he hurriedly hung up the phone and you groaned.

“i told alastor to keep all of you away for at least a day!” you screamed, your original hair was now flying with orange and red fire around it, your eyes blaring red to the person who was standing at the foot of your bed. your eyes realized it was lucifer, who you wouldn’t mind being comforted by. “oh im sorry luci, didn’t know it was you.” you calmed down after a bit, your hand caressing his cheek. “it’s ok my duckling, what’s got you such in a- mood today?” he asked nervously. “this stupid… UGH so you know how i work for rosie right?”

-

“looks like lucifer learned!” alastor chuckled, while the others were petrified from your scream.

-

“STUPID SUSAN! god i know rosie and alastor warned me about her but SHIT, she fucking needs to learn where she fucking belongs!” you screeched, “want me to put her in her place?” lucifer grinned out, you nodded your head no. “no it’s fine, just one stupid ass cannibal i can get rid of myself.” you hummed. “can we just- can we just cuddle please?” you whined.

he nodded, “anything for my cher.” he whispered. he crawled into bed with you after taking his shoes off and everything else off, climbing into your soft yet hard bed. he wrapped his arms around your waist, snuggling close to you and placing his head in between your chest.

“you’re so warm,” he mumbled, you giggled, his breathing hitting your exposed chest made it tickle. “yeah?” you asked with a smile. “mm, yeah you are.” he kissed the expose skin he saw, looking back up to you with puppy doll eyes.

“i’m sorry you had a shit day, mon amour. if you ever need anything you know i’m here for you,” he kissed your lips, your eyes closing softly when he did so. “i know luci,” you mumbled, your arms wrapping tightly around him and soon enough falling asleep with him on you.

-

a/n:

might be my only hazbin hotel fic, i dunno, i don’t really know how to write into their characters that much but i wanted a cuddle fic with lucifer so here we are! :)

[oharamwah]

ଓ + — soft boyfriend headcanons

boyfriend!miguel x fem!reader

contents : fluuuufff and some nsfw, super messy and all over the place. i’m telling u this is so unstructured.

no heavy nsfw but suggestive themes under the cut

posted august 1st - to be edited !

© oharamwah, please do not steal my work.

i’m so down bad for this man and he isn’t even real but that means i get to make up whatever headcanons i like abt what it’d be like to date him 😋

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ ｡･ﾟﾟ･･｡ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ ｡･ﾟﾟ･｡⋆

♡ i just wanna get straight to the point — miguel’s kisses are soooo. mmph.

♡ he’s the type to keep things at a small peck when others are around or when you two are a little busy and on your feet

♡ like he’ll be at work like always and you’ll pop into his home office just to drop off a snack and he’ll pull you closer by your chin to kiss you DKSJDHSKLD

♡ and when he’s working from home and he’s in sweatpants (a rare sight for many) and he has his thin wiry dad glasses on oh my

♡ buuuut, but. this man knows how to kiss properly too

♡ also we all know miguel is bossy, and this applies both in and out of the workplace

♡ he is huuuuuge on princess treatment

♡ making sure you barely have to lift a finger to do anything when he’s around, especially during intimate hours

♡ he is big on aftercare, never wants you to feel any pain during or after sex. well, with some exceptions. all he wants is for you to feel good. so, if you ask him for a tummy massage or a back rub, he’ll do it no hesitation.

♡ like ok i’m not gonna make this an nsfw hc post but… spanking 🤗

♡ anyway.. he’s definitely the type of boyfriend to keep lots of baby wipes and deodorant and any girly things you’d need in a separate bathroom cupboard, exclusively for you and when you stay the night

♡ speaking of, refuses to let you pay for anything when you’re out shopping. say you walk by the department store and you remember that you ran out of pads or shampoo, he has it covered

♡ he’s just so… idk he loves taking care of you in every aspect.

♡ y’know when boyfriends carry their girlfriend’s bridal style when their high heels hurt their feet ?? yeah that’s miguel.

♡ again, he hates seeing you in any kind of pain. even if your shoulder bag is just a little too heavy, he’s got it

♡ always reminds you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.

♡ you’ll be getting ready for a fancy dinner party and you’re staring at yourself in the mirror feeling a little self conscious, poking and pinching at parts of your tummy, arms, anything you felt insecure about at the time

♡ and instead of letting you know that he saw you, he’d come up from behind you and just start showering you with compliments and butterfly kisses

♡ because the last thing he wants is for you to feel even more insecure because you got caught, he just wants you to know what he thinks about you

♡ “so pretty my angel, is that a new dress?”

♡ he’d ask, knowing he’s the one that bought it

♡ *kiss* “you do your makeup differently today?” *kiss* “i like it, honey.”

♡ AGGHH he’s just too sweet. he always knows how to make you feel comfortable.

♡ king of small kind gestures because even though he could compliment you and all that jazz, you find that he doesn’t really say “i love you” that often. instead, he shows it to you

♡ he knows exactly how you like your eggs, down to the amount of salt and pepper you use

♡ he also knows you like peeling your own oranges but you always struggle to start them, so he’d use his fangs to peel a little piece for you to peel from

♡ and he pre-slices all the lemons because he knows you like lemon water but you kinda suck at using knives

♡ if you leave your glasses/sunnies at his place, he’ll take it upon himself to clean them for you

♡ knows the kinds of snacks you like on movie nights so he stocks up on them, never leaving his pantry empty. no, he never eats snacks, but he knows you do <3

♡ he’s also the type to drive you out wherever and whenever you want. night drives, sunset viewing, anything you wanna do he’s willing to take you there. you’re his passenger princess!!

♡ also omg so random but i feel like he’s lowkey insecure of his fangs. like he knows they can be a bit intimidating and cause some worry, so whenever he smiles around you he tries to keep them inside but they just peek out his lips and it’s skfkskfj so cute

♡ and when he laughs he covers his mouth so sometimes you have to place your hand over his, and he’ll look at you all “what..?” and you’ll peel his hand back and be all cute about it

♡ “show me your smileee” and he gets all SHYYY

♡ he’s definitely the angry/grumpy shy with you, he can’t help but feel a little embarrassed about being shy or flustered but he also kinda enjoys the feeling

♡ sorry this is so unorganized but i just had another thought

♡ he’s just so familiar with being in the same bed as you by now that he can tell when somethings wrong just by the movements you’re making

♡ or if you’re shifting around a lot in your spot, he won’t say anything but he’ll grab onto your waist to let you know he’s there and he’ll pull you a bit closer so you feel more at ease

♡ AND EVEN IF YOU ARENT IN HIS BED, he’ll never go into your spot. that’s your spot. though he does take the pillow and hug it sometimes. sometimes..

♡ he even washes your pillowcase more often than he washes his sheets because he knows how particular you are about your skincare and haircare

♡ but he’s also super particular about his own hygiene, constantly freshening himself up with like spray deodorants and stuff. and a lot of mouth wash. he takes dental care very seriously.

♡ like he even reminds you to floss every night and prepares you a cup of mouth wash and seals it with a kiss hehdheh

♡ that man is so clean. deadass. he works so hard yes but he always makes sure to be clean because the last thing he wants is to be a loser that SMELLS bad (LOLLDFKMSM)

♡ you’re the only person he’ll listen to when it comes to bedtime

♡ he’s always being scolded by his colleagues to get more sleep because his under eyes are getting darker than a winter night sky

♡ but he always just brushes them off — unless it’s you

♡ he’s actually kinda nervous to make you upset. like he could never even dream of making you upset or mad at him he couldn’t handle that

♡ you two never argue, you only have very passionate debates

♡ you’re usually right in the end, and he accepts that. he just hates when you two disagree. so when apologizing for being stubborn and making you upset, he speaks in a way softer tone than he would anyone else. it’s a bit higher than his normal voice and it’s very airy, very comforting and apologetic

♡ he’s just such a softie for youuuu waoooowwww

♡ anyway i’m gonna post this and come back to it when i have new ideas instead of posting a bunch of separate ones <3 enjoy angels !

[wormdebut]

Part One | Part Two | Part Four -

Steve had been popular in high school, he never asked for it. He didn’t really want it, but he was the captain of the Swim Team and the Basketball team, he had happily coasted through the Hawkins High Show Choir Revolutionaires. (Blame Robin for that one, he didn’t know he would have to dance, which he did not like to do but he sang like a song bird thank you very much.)

Popularity just kind of came to him. He was in the GSA, which Robin had been the president of (she was also the choir president) and when he came out as bisexual his senior year, that kind of solidified his King of Hawkins throne. He and Robin had been Prom King and Queen of the class of 2019.

Robin thrived with it, but honestly? It burnt Steve out. So when he and Rob moved to Chicago to “expand their homosexual horizons”, thought courtesy of one Robin Buckley, Steve was happy to take a back seat and let her be the social butterfly she loved to be. Steve was happy just taking things a step and breath at a time. High school and the years following had moved so fast, it was nice to just listen to people and see things that he may not have had an opportunity to before.

Ever the codependent pair, they had gotten jobs together at an insurance office in the city. It was graphs, phone calls, and paper work but Steve didn’t mind it temporarily. They both had accepted the job with the intention of getting to their destination, neither Steve nor Robin were intending to keep the position with Murdock Insurance Agency.

It had been a few days since Steve had had his absolute shit rocked by the hot as fuck barista at the coffee shop he and Robin had decided to try,

“Steve, he liked you and their lattes were delicious can we please go back? You’re being just a little teensy bit irrational with this.”

“Robin he’s just so—he—oh my god, I can’t talk to him again.”

‘Talk? That’s a little generous Steve, I’m pretty sure you like, heavy breathed at him like Ghostface does on the phone in the Scream movies.”

“Oh come on Rob! He had just gotten through a super hot, sweaty, ridiculously sexy fi—“

“Steven Richard Harrington I am begging you to shut the hell up and go get us coffee on your lunch break, please. If not out of love, then due to the fact that you owe me for listening to whatever the fuck that just was.”

“Fine, okay, but if he’s there and I embarrass myself, you’re going to miss that experience, so sucks to suck.”

Robin laughed and waved as Steve made his way through the office floor, taking the elevator the few floors down to get to the exit in the lobby. It was nice weather, a little chilly, but nothing Steve wasn’t used to from Indiana. He would’ve put in effort if he knew he was potentially seeing Eddie the sexy ass barista today, but alas, all he could hope for was that his khaki pants and the olive green windbreaker on his back made him look decent enough.

The Daily Grind was surprisingly quieter than it had been the morning Steve and Robin met Eddie. He stepped inside and vaguely recognized the curly headed kid that had been with Eddie last.

The kid popped his head up from the register at the tingling sound of the bell above Steve’s head, “Welcome to—“ curly head cut himself off and his eyes doubled in size, “Oh my god you’re the guy! MAX” he yelled towards the back of the store, “Max! Eddie’s guy is here, right now! Oh my god he’s gonna be so mad.”

Eddie’s what? Steve blushed, and he wasn’t able to hide it, he was kind of overstimulated by the very loud greeting from this kid and was suddenly very confused by whatever was happening here, “Um hi?” Steve questioned more the greeted walking up to the register.

The kid smiled a toothy grin at Steve and stuck his hand out for him to shake, Steve didn't necessarily want to shake this strange little mans hand, but it was the polite thing to do, “I’m Dustin and this—MAX,” Dustin yelled again. Steve politely pulled his hand away, Dustin was so loud. Steve turned his head the direction Dustin had yelled and saw a red head pop her head out through the door.

“Christ Dustin What—“ Max turned her eyes to Steve and gave him the full once over. What was with kids these days? Were they all so loud and unapologetic? Jesus, Steve was clearly older than this girl and she was just full on ogling, “Well hello. I’m Max, it looks like you’ve met Dustin, you are?”

Steve went to speak, hoping the heat he felt on his cheeks wasn’t painfully present and showing his embarrassment on his face. He left Hawkins to get away from the spotlight, he wasn’t fond of having it forced upon him these days. “I-I’m—“

“Hes the guy that Eddie was telling you about? You know the dude he met after he cussed out Cappuccino Brenda?”

Steve really didn’t have much choice but to watch the exchange, no one had come in after him and these two seemed very distracted by Steve being here, so he just waited for them to finish talking…about him apparently.

Max’s eyes went wide “Oooh, Oh! Yes! Hi, what’s your name?”

She looked at him expectantly and Steve was so confused about this whole situation. His fairly impenetrable fortress of wall that he had built up over the King Steve of high school cracked just a little, and while King Steve loved most everybody, King Steve was also a bit of a bitch, “Oh do I get to speak now, instead of being spoken over?” He looked to the two baristas with a smirk and his hands found their way to his hips.

They both looked at him with eyes wide, out of the corner of her mouth Max said, “I thought you said he was shy?”

Dustin broke out in a goofy grin, “I like him.”

Steve huffed, “I’m seriously right here, what is even happening right now?” Steve dropped his hands from his hips and tried to rear in whatever pieces of him that had come lose, “I’m Steve, so what do I gotta do to get a couple medium lavender oat milk lattes?”

Dustin went to speak, but Max cut him off before he could, “Y’know what? They are totally on us, as long as you just give us your number for our new loyalty program.” Dustin looked at Max with an eyebrow raised.

Steve watched her wave him off toward the machines, and shrugged, “Okay? Sure.” Max tossed him a sticky note pad and a pen, he scribbled his number down, “Uh—Thanks Max, this has been great.”

She grabbed the notepad and hopped to the back with a two finger salute, “Catch ya later Pretty Boy.”

Steve gave a brief wave and shuffled over to Dustin, who smiled as he handed off the lattes, “Nice to officially meet you Steve! See you around.”

Steve offered a small smile and a brief thanks, before stepping back out onto the street, god. The Daily Grind was trip, every time.

-

Taglist - @gay-stranger-things @savory-babby @trashpocket @itsfreakingbats @steddiereid @lovelyscot @booksandsience @breealtair @nightmareglitter @misty-inferno @dazedandinked @child-of-cthulhu @bookworm0690 @martzja @exhibit-no-restraint @imzadidragonfly @live-the-fangirl-life @sidebarre @bejeweledbaby

if you wanna be added or removed just let me know ✨

[goodeapple]

be nice to your neighbors.

i have a million and two wip's in my Ysilla folder and somehow, i have to add one more.

i am an exhausting person. love y'all lots!

pairing : Aemond x Ysilla (Rhaenyra'sDaughter!OC)

warnings : Aemond is a simp & Ysilla is a plant nerd. Awkward flirting. Fluff. No smut :(

word count : 2,500+

It’s so fucking early. What self-respecting tattoo shop is open at 7AM on a Sunday? On God’s day? Aegon hasn’t stepped foot in a church since he was thirteen which explains the hours, but why the fuck is Aemond here and not him?

Aemond wasn’t exactly planning on going to church today, but maybe if he had the option, his ass would be in a pew next to his mother right now instead of perfecting a sketch for an appointment that isn’t even until next week. His Americano is lukewarm, steam long blown away by the small oscillating fan tucked up on a high shelf. A row of overstuffed books, on everything from Classic Americana design to Valyrian legends he wants to detail on paper, fill up the rest of the ledge. The next one down houses a line of knick knacks he could never force himself to part with- a tiny tacky snowglobe from Harrenhal, his grandfather’s Hand of the King pin from when he was in the courts, 8-tracks from his mum’s rebellious punk phase before she went to college, and at the end, a framed photo of him and his siblings the day they opened the shop. Three identical terrified grins are spread over their faces, nervous anticipation bleeding through the black-and-white snapshot. Little pieces of his life in his little corner of the world, where he gets to do what he loves. 

And the most important little worm to him sleeps the day away in her glass vivarium by the door. Vhagar lounges under her UV bulb, baking on a large smooth stone after inhaling her breakfast. His little crocodile without the teeth. The soft garden green bearded dragon with her yellow belly has been his constant companion since he rescued her from a Oldtown pet shop when he was a pre-teen. He hid her under his bed for a full seven months before his mum found her one day when she was searching for missing socks. It was an impressive feat, one even she had to acknowledge after blowing her fucking top. 

Aemond darkens the curve of the kraken tentacle he’s sketching, a piece for a client coming all the way from the Iron Isles. The little suction cups still need more depth and he hasn’t even begun to flesh out the texture of the skin yet when the bell hanging above the shop door tinkles, signifying an end to his blissful solitude. 

“Hello? Helaena, you here?” 

Aemond drops his pencil, shoving off from his desk, grumbling as he goes. There’s still a hint of sleep in his eye and he rubs it away as he walks up the hall to the lobby. 

“We don’t take walk-in’s on the weekends and we don’t have any appointments scheduled ‘till 9. So, are you sight-seeing or are you just overly punctual?” He doesn’t mean to sound like a dick, it just comes second nature. 

The back of the head that greets him as he blinks open his eye is a pretty one, thick brunette curls pinned up with gold butterfly clips. The girl abandons the magazine she’d been leafing through, turning at the sound of his voice. The wide-eyed look that’s spread over her face emphasizes plum-shaded irises, framed by palm leaf eyes. There’s a pair of beauty marks peppered on the dawn of her cheekbone. A rosy mocha mouth is pouted before it curves up into a charming bend of itself. 

“I’m sorry, I'm not here to get any work done. I was just coming in to give something to Helaena.” The woman shimmies the large gift bag held tight in her fist as proof. “I’m a friend.”

Aemond shrugs off his disappointment. “Oh, my bad.” She’d be a gorgeous canvas. The golden brown of her skin would take color like a fucking champ. Black would be even better. Really make the contrast pop. The smooth peak of her shoulders from underneath the oversized cream cardigan she wears is a tantalizing taste of something he wants to indulge in. “She’s not here yet.”

Her expression collapses and Aemond regrets causing such a look to dim her face. “Oh damn, she told me she’d be in at this time.” 

Aemond thinks maybe he should call his big sister, considering he hasn’t received her standard “i’ll be there in 10, I PROMISE 10 MINUTES AEMMY!!” text today, when the girl’s face blooms into one of recognition.

“You’re Aemond, right?” 

“Uh, yeah- yes, yes I am.” He coughs, straightening up a bit, manners braided into every core memory he possesses. His mom is, in Aegon’s terms, a “tightass”, but damn him if he doesn’t know how to treat a woman.

“I always see you coming in and out of here, and well, you and Hel and Aegon all look alike, so I put two and two together and made four that you’re the missing piece of Three Headed Dragon.”  She gestures to the air, implying she’s speaking about the name of the shop. The gold chains layered around her neck, some with pendants and some without, jingle with her movement. Aemond likes the softness of the sound. “And when she came in for a succulent recommendation a few months back, I asked about you and she told me your name, and… yeahhh. I just didn’t want you to think I was some weirdo who’s been waiting for the perfect moment to get you alone.” 

“Oh no, I wouldn’t think that.” Aemond looks very serious, even knitting his brows in a thick, no-nonsense line, but he has to bite his lip to keep from snickering, which she notices. 

She breathes out a laugh, dipping her head in surrender. She turns to the entrance, and Aemond is worried she might leave. He doesn’t mind her company, which is a miracle considering the hour. 

“Hey-”

“Is this your’s?” She points to the hyperrealistic direwolf stencil he’d cranked out last year during an artist’s block that he couldn’t shake for the life of him. The piece is gruesome, wicked lines and keen edges that intimidate even him, and he drew the damn thing. 

“Uh, yeah. Good guess.” The black frames adorning the gallery wall are a mixture of his and Aegon’s work, all in varying shades of grays and blacks. His brother’s signature new school style is easily distinguishable to Aemond, but he admits some of their earlier sketches are more uniform than not.

“You do beautiful work.”

Aemond’s eyebrows raise and he lets the compliment warm him.

“I appreciate that. Many wouldn’t call that beautiful, but I think it has a certain magnetism to it.” He looks the woman over, using the excuse of actually searching for ink so that he can appreciate her willowy arms and the peek of shapely legs through the dash in her skirt. “Do you have any?” Aemond gestures to the wall, before gesturing to her. She shakes her head no, freeing an errant curl that falls over her forehead. Aemond picks at his joggers to keep his fingers from doing something stupid. 

“Oh no. I’m not the biggest fan of needles. Self-admittedly, I can also be a bit of a flake, so permanent artwork on my body kind of gives me hives.” She shivers and Aemond thinks her modesty is adorable.

“That’s a shame.” 

Mystery woman snaps her fingers, spinning on her toes to pin him with a look, and Aemond basks in the scent of jasmine and sea salt that wafts his way.

“If I change my mind, I know who to go to.”  She blinks suddenly, her pointed hand gliding behind her to rub at the back of neck in a bashful way. “That is, if you’d ever want to. Or, if you’re like, accepting clients.”

“For you? I think I could make an exception.” Aemond leans into the counter, settling to her level. The way the flush of her cheeks drips into the creamy sweep of her chest makes him hungry. She drops her hand, edging forward on timid toes.

“Well, aren’t you sweet.”

He doesn’t really know how to reply to that. He can feel the tips of his ears heat up, and when she tucks her lock of hair back in place, Aemond wishes he would’ve done it for her. He can see a thin line of dark walnut bracing the white of her eyes with how close he is, so close now he can smell the cinnamon on her breath from the condensating chai latte she holds in her other hand. 

“Aemond!” The back door slams and his sister’s voice floats up the hall. 

“Fuckin’ A, I’m sorry I’m late. I hit construction traffic and I had to get gas or I would’ve been pushing my Volksy here, and then I needed a coffee, believe me.” A white-blonde head of super short hair is unleashed when his sister yanks off her crocheted bucket hat, and she gasps as she catches sight of the shop’s first patron of the day.

“Good morning, muffin, I was trying to get here as fast as I could!” Helaena is a tornado of violets, lavenders, and magentas, purple her chosen color of the day as she spins into the room, tucking her backpack into the lockable cabinet by Aemond’s knees. 

The girl’s smile is a thing of beauty and even if it’s for Helaena, Aemond will keep it for himself. 

“Good morning, Hel. No worries, your brother’s been keeping me company.” 

Helaena spares him a look, sending a delicately sharp elbow right into his ribs. 

“Has he? It must be your lucky day- he usually scares off the customers that aren’t on the schedule.”

Aemond throws a sturdy blunt elbow into her shoulder and revels in the wince that she tries to hide. 

“Mmmm, not scared off yet. But if you would’ve given us a few more minutes, who knows?” A wink is sent his way, showing she means it in all good fun. Aemond fires a smile back at her, curling his lip up in a smirk he knows carries some weight to it. She swallows- he can see the jump in her throat, before she damn near flings her reason for coming in onto the counter.

“Here! She came in yesterday towards closing time, a special delivery just for you.” 

Hel snatches it with greedy hands, unknotting the twine laced through the handles so she can stick her whole face into the bag. 

“Oh my word, it’s beautiful!” Helaena exclaims, wonderment turning her tone soft and breathy. Aemond can’t stunt his curiosity, knocking his sister’s head out of his way to peer into the gift bag. 

“It looks moldy.”

Mystery woman looks mildly offended by his assessment, but it’s his sister that thwacks him in the chest.

“Shut up! You and Aegon practically drowned my cactus when I went on holiday last summer; what do you know about plants? It’s stunning and wonderful and all mine!” Helaena pulls out the plant with careful hands, gathering up the trailing vines like she’s lassoing a rope. 

Hel oooo’s and ahhh’s , rubbing the silver spotted leaves between her fingers, smelling the somewhat heart-shaped sprouts for any lingering fragrance. Aemond’s surprised she doesn’t pop one in her mouth and give it a taste. 

“A cactus?” 

Aemond shrugs, happy to have the woman’s attention back on him, even if it is at his expense. “It looked thirsty.” 

The giggle she gifts him makes his 5AM alarm worth it. 

Helaena claps her hands together twice, calling attention to her like she’s a nursery school teacher. “Tell me about it- what’s its name and how do I keep it alive?” 

“It’s a Scindapsus pictus, but satin Pothos or silver Philodendron is easier to remember. Even though it’s not technically a Pothos or a Philodendron, it’s in the Araceae family, which can be confusing, y’know? It’s naturally from the Hills of Andalos but it can also be found from Tyrosh all the way to Pinkmaiden.” 

The siblings blink at her, both enjoying how she waxes on about something obviously interesting to her, even though it sounds like Dothraki to them. The brunette takes notice of the silence, tapering off her anecdotes while wearing a quiet, bemused grin.

“Anyways,” she twists the ring around her pinky in circles of nervous energy, “lots of light, water her like once a week, and she should thrive.”

“She’s perfect! Oh thank you for picking her out for me, darling. I’ll take such good care of her. ” Helaena has a way of hugging you with her words. It fills you with the warm and fuzzies, and the girl looks filled to the brim with them. She sighs though, shouldering the strap of her bag into place. 

“I gotta get back to the shop- my early lunch break can’t go past 7:20, or Miss Olenna will be pissed if I’m not there to let her windowshop the roses.” 

Helaena flutters around the counter, gushing promises of midday coffee dates and takeaway dinners before sweeping up the other girl in a rocking embrace.

The woman beams, happiness a good look on her, before pecking his sister’s cheek in parting. She pushes open the shop door, ducking out before catching it right before it closes. Her head ducks back in, and the same stubborn curl from before has come loose again, twisting around the corner of her eye. 

“It was nice meeting you, Aemond.”  

“Likewise…” Did he not catch her name once the entire time? Fuck him and his so-called manners. 

Her smile is so bright, it burns itself behind his eyelids. “Ysilla.”

“Likewise, Ysilla.” Aemond rolls her name off of his tongue, discovering he quite likes the taste of her. A gorgeous name for a gorgeous girl. 

She bids him a little wave of her hand before shutting the door softly. She looks both ways before darting across the roadway and into roots., an aptly named nursery that bursts at the brick with vegetation and flowers. 

Aemond turns on his sister with alarming agility. 

“Alright, share with the class. Who was that?” 

“That’s Ysilla, Aem. Duh. She runs the plant shop across the street.” 

He resists the urge to flick her in the forehead. His trainers are new and he doesn’t want her size seven foot print scuffing them up. 

“I’ve never seen her before.”

“Well you would, if you ever bothered to come out of your room and meet our neighbors. She’s been in charge for about a year and a half now. Mr. Forel is an old flame of her grandma’s, or something like that, and she needed a job when he was thinking of retiring. So, perfect timing, I guess.” Hel fluffs the leaves, turning the plant pot this way and that, trying to decide which angle is most appealing. She carts it around the shop, holding it up to the spaces she’s thinking of occupying it with. 

“What are you two, besties?” Aemond is so not jealous. Nah, never. Nope. No way, no how. 

Helaena pauses, looking thoughtful before resuming her decorating.

“I’m kind of trying to be, but she goes to class after she’s done at the shop and if she’s not doing that, she has three brothers she helps take care of when her mum is working. So I stop off when I can and chat with her so we can catch up.” 

Helaena cheers as she steps off the footstool she keeps around for high reaching access, admiring the vines cascading from the partition wall that divides the waiting room from her piercing studio. 

“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” His sister is obviously speaking about the plant. 

Aemond stares through the window across the street, the tan stucco building a bright bustle of life next to the high brow boutique to its left and Hot Pie’s bakery to its right. The numerous hanging pots from the ledge above the doorway would 100% split his skull if he wasn’t paying attention to where he was walking. Big glass windows are crowded by giant emerald fronds and stalks of leafy sprouts. The flower pots mirroring each side of the doorway are starting to wilt with the season, but the vibrant highlights of color splash a last breath of life against the stone. 

If Aemond squints, he can catch a dark head of curls bouncing behind the register. 

Maybe a plant wouldn’t be a bad addition to his shelves. 

“Without a doubt.”

.

.

.

ps: i have another modern!au in the works of these two little fuckers, which is much longer, much angstier, and much more fun to read. should be out very very soon ;))

[wanderersrest]

An Abbreviated History of Mecha Part 3.1: Do You Remember Love? (1980-1985)

Welcome back to An Abbreviated History of Mecha! Last time, we covered a small smattering of shows from the 70's. I tried to cover the big names, with a focus on the Holy Trinity (Mazinger Z, Getter Robo, and Mobile Suit Gundam). While the latter of the three will be showing up throughout this series, the other two will largely fade into the background. Do not mistake this for them no longer being relevant though, as there is a very good reason why they are part of the Trinity. Besides, they'll show up again in some capacity towards the end. This also ignores the fact that both Mazinger Z and Getter Robo would constantly get updates throughout the years, so to say that the other two were somehow lesser than Gundam is foolish.

What we DO see in the 80's though are mecha shows popping up left, right, and center. A lot of this is helped by the fact that the 80's are also a time in Japanese history where the economy was booming. OVAs also become a major thing in this time period, as do a lot of surprisingly influential series. As such, I will be covering 80's (and later the 90's) in multiple parts due to how many series come up in this time period:

Part one (this part) will cover the time period from 1980-1985

Part two will cover 1986-1990

Part three will cover pretty much everything directed by Yoshiyuki Tomino from 1981 to 1993 and will serve as a bridge between the 80's and the 90's

Oh, and let me reiterate something about Mobile Suit Gundam from the last point: Gundam wouldn't become successful until the 80's with the release of the compilation movies.

With that out of the way, let's transform and ROLL OUT!

Space Runaway Ideon (1980)

Coming off the heels of Mobile Suit Gundam, Yoshiyuki Tomino would follow it up with Space Runaway Ideon. Think of it as a classic giant robot series mixed with the style of war stories that would be more in line with Space Battleship Yamato or Mobile Suit Gundam. Do not let the brightly-colored giant robot fool you. Ideon is, to my understanding, one of the darkest entries in the canon of mecha. Ideon is also where the Itano Circus came from, so that's another reason to be aware of this series. More importantly, Space Runaway Ideon specifically would be the inspiration for one Hideaki Anno when he made a certain series that I will talk about in the future. Something about a young man needing to get into a robot something, I don't know.

Diaclone (1980) & Transformers (1985)

Remember when I brought up Microman (the toy, not the wrestler)? This is why.

In 1980, Takara would release the Diaclone line of toys as a spinoff to Microman. This series would be noteworthy due to its inclusion of transforming machines designed by one Shoji Kawamori (more on him soon). One of these machines would be the eighteen-wheeler known as Convoy.

In 1985, Hasbro would license out the Diaclone line among other Takara licenses for the surprisingly ambitious series known today as Transformers. The story would follow the Autobots, led by Optimus Prime (who Diaclone fans would recognize as Convoy), as they fight against Megatron and the Decepticons. Chances are very likely that if you're not thinking of the RX-78-2 Gundam when you hear the word "mecha," chances are likely you're imagining Optimus Prime.

Transformers' success in America and beyond would be so great that, in the 90's, Takara would end the Diaclone line and create a new line of toys, complete with accompanying TV series. That's another story for when we get to the 90's though, so stay tuned for that.

Beast King GoLion (1981) & Voltron (1984)

In 1981, the anime Beast King GoLion would air in Japan. GoLion itself would be pretty run-of-the-mill as far as mecha shows in the early 80's would be concerned. However, GoLion is worth mentioning as it would be one of the first anime properties that US showrunners would splice with other shows like it in order to make something for syndication.

In 1984, World Event Productions would splice Beast King GoLion with another mecha series, Armored Fleet Dairugger XV (1982), to create Voltron. And when it comes to combining robots, chances are very likely that one would think of Lion Voltron (or GoLion for those more familiar with the original) over something like Getter Robo or Voltes V. Voltron is an icon of the 80's, so much so that Voltron (specifically the lion version) would get multiple adaptations over the years, including but not limited to Voltron Force in the 2000's and Voltron: Legendary Defender in the 2010's, the latter of which I am told is a big part of Tumblr history. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if people considered GoLion/Voltron to be more of a US creation than a Japanese one.

Fang of the Sun Dougram (1981)

Starting in 1981, Ryousuke Takahashi and company would create Fang of the Sun Dougram. Building off the themes of Mobile Suit Gundam, Takahashi would begin to push the envelope in terms of what one could present with a military mecha series. Whereas Gundam's relative realism comes from how the One Year War affects the soldiers, Dougram would go further and show us just how the parties involved plan out their attacks and political machinations.

If you want to learn more about Dougram, I'd highly recommend Pyramid Inu's video on Dougram, as they're a big Takahashi nut.

Also, Dougram is of vital importance to a certain tabletop RPG coming up.

Super Dimension Fortress Macross (1982) & Robotech (1984)

In 1982, Shoji Kawamori and the people at Studio Nue would release Super Dimension Fortress Macross, a series that would explode in terms of popularity. Like Gundam and Dougram before it, Macross would give us a war story featuring giant robots. But unlike Gundam and how war has its tolls on soldiers, or Dougram with its focus on political machinations and realistic strategy, Macross would focus more on how love and culture can overcome conflict. Macross is notable not just for popularizing transforming robots, it would also bring idol singers into vogue.

In 1984, Carl Macek would be tasked by Harmony Gold to make Macross eligible for syndication. Doing the best he could, Macek would fuse Macross with two other series, Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross and Genesis Climber Mospeada, to create the controversial Robotech.

Why is Robotech controversial? To put it very shortly: Robotech would be the reason why the original Macross has never been brought over to the west, for reasons that we will see later. It's a shame too, since Macross is one of the biggest mecha franchises after Gundam. But, it should also be worth noting that Robotech, while controversial, is still important due to it being a major introduction point into mecha stories and anime as a whole for a whole generation of people.

Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu/Legend of the Galactic Heroes (1982)

In 1982, Yoshiki Tanaka's Ginga Eiyuu Densetsu, or Legend of the Galactic Heroes for us westerners, would be published. Over the course of ten volumes, the series would follow the exploits of the so-called Galactic Heroes, Reinhardt von Lohengramm and Yang Wen-Li, as the factions the two belonged to fought for control of the galaxy, with all of the politics and strategizing that ensues. Galactic Heroes is such a large and sprawling story that, when it came time to adapt it into an animated original video animation (OVA) series in 1988, it ended up becoming the longest-running OVA series of all time, clocking in at about a whopping 108 episodes in total. The series would also get another animated adaptation in 2018, Die Neue Theiss.

Armored Trooper VOTOMs (1983)

Following up on the success of Dougram, Ryousuke Takahashi would release the extremely iconic Armored Trooper VOTOMs in 1983. While Dougram was already a pretty grounded military robot in its own right, VOTOMs would take that concept to its logical conclusion. Here, VOTOMs were 4-meter tall machines that acted more like humanoid jeeps, and not only were they expendable, they were easily replaced. When mecha heads talk about realistic mecha series, VOTOMs is oftentimes brought up as the gold standard for this.

Panzer World Galient (1984)

Galient gif courtesy of Sakugabooru

Following up from VOTOMs, Takahashi would then follow that up with Panzer World Galient, a series that would trade out the military robots in favor for fantasy-flavored mecha. What's interesting to note here is that this would come out a year after a series called Aura Battler Dunbine, and I'd argue that both series would be the bases for later fantasy-inspired mecha series such as Magic Knight Rayearth and Break Blade.

Battletech (1984)

1984 would also see FASA Corporation release the first edition of its BattleTech ruleset. Rumored to have taken inspiration from series like Fang of the Sun Dougram, Macross, and Crusher Joe, BattleTech would become the poster child of the western giant robot aesthetic, that of the walking tank.

Also due to a messy copyright situation, BattleTech would also get tied up with Harmony Gold due to stolen designs. This legal back and forth would eventually be the reason why Macross would be unavailable outside of Robotech to this very day, though at one point the legal nonsense got so out of hand that, if I remember correctly, they tried to also bar FASA and their successors from using mechanical designs from Dougram and Crusher Joe (even though they did not have the rights to either series).

Blue Comet SPT Layzner (1985)

Blue Comet SPT Layzner is a 1985 series created by Ryousuke Takahashi. The series, from my superficial glancing of the series, would be the first major Gundam-like series to come out. It should be noted that, prior to this, the only major Gundam series to exist prior to 1985 was the original Gundam. Unfortunately for Layzner, 1985 would be the year that Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam would air, which is generally considered to be the most popular Gundam series in the franchise.

Conclusion

As we get further into the 80's, we will begin to see more and more stories show up that would be a part of the mecha canon. The latter half of the 80's is where we see the rise of the OVA which, as I mentioned briefly with Legend of the Galactic Heroes, will be where we see a lot of OVA series pop up. We'll also see couple more western productions, along with an appearance by a certain Blue Bomber.

This is a work of fiction, but in ten years? Who knows?