#like of COURSE that's what shannon wrote. it's exactly what I would expect

[bookwyrminspiration]

it DOES matter and DON'T you DARE take the easy way out you MOTHERFU—

[toxicpositivitybuddie]

several sentences sunday

so no one tagged me (this week) but this is the first time in a while i actually have something i'm actively working on. i posted something maybe last week or two weeks ago but that version of the story has actually been scrapped because i regathered my thoughts. anyway i wrote a couple thousand words today and i just wanted to post a little bit of it. i don't think i've been this invested in/stressed about writing something for a very long time. i've been plotting out this fic for months and i've been living and breathing it, so here's a little bit of it for you.

'tis the damn season au, buddie, aka the fic where buck and his parents moved to el paso and buck went to high school with eddie and shannon, and now he's coming back for a visit (set in 911-time during s3 when buck isn't allowed back to work - instead of suing everyone, buck goes home)

His phone starts ringing.  Of course Eddie hadn’t just texted back. 

Of course Eddie is calling him.

“Hey.” “Hey, Evan.  I wasn’t sure you’d ever want to speak again.”

“Please, call me Buck.  Everyone calls me Buck.”

“Right,” Eddie says.  “Right, you said that.”

“I’m in El Paso.” Buck fumbles with the hem of his t-shirt, nervously.  It’s so annoying that he hasn’t just let himself turn up to Eddie’s parents, asking where he can find Eddie.  Helena had always loved him.  She wouldn’t question his presence even a little bit.  She would probably give him a big hug and invite him in for coffee.  He’s just not sure he has that right or place in Eddie’s life anymore.

After all, he was the one who’d taken off.

“You’re - “ There’s a long pause on the other end of the line and then Buck hears the click of a door.  “You’re here?”

“Yeah, I had to get out of LA.  I was feeling a little suffocated and a lot lost.  I’m at my parents’ house.”

“Did you talk to Shannon?”

“Yeah.” Buck closes his eyes.  “You didn’t tell me you were divorced.” “You didn’t exactly give me the chance.” There’s nothing tense in Eddie’s voice, not like Buck would expect.  He sounds light, sarcastic, like the Eddie Buck remembers from all the way back in high school when everything between them was just so easy.

“No, I guess I didn’t.” “Hey, so, I don’t work tomorrow.  Do you want - we can just, you know.  Hang out, like old times or whatever.”

Buck wants to ask what kind of old times he means.  The ones where he, Eddie, and Shannon would waste the day sitting in the Whataburger parking lot listening to shitty music and sharing a cigarette or the kind in that short window of time where the two of them would go find somewhere to park and make out sloppy in Eddie’s truck.  Or maybe the time they tried to get the fuck away from this town together, before they knew Shannon was pregnant, when Buck really thought he and Eddie could be EvanAndEddie for real.  He doesn’t ask.

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.  It’ll be nice to catch up.”

[variousqueerthings]

Tory Nichols Is Not Okay (and other predictable book-titles)

I’ve been trying to figure out some things around Tory that make me very protective of her as a character + hopeful for more in-depth writing of her character in upcoming seasons.

1. within the story she differs from literally every other main in that she’s the single character without a support network to fall back on. Even Robby, who’s having A Tough Fucking Time, could theoretically have a moment where he figures out that Kreese (and probably Silver once he’s in the picture) is the fucking worst and Daniel, Johnny, Shannon, and Amanda would want him to come back, hell I imagine that next season will have Daniel and Johnny thinking a lot about how exactly to convince Robby to give them a second chance - as of end season 3, Tory hasn’t got anyone fighting in her corner at all.

This isn’t in the sense of characters competing about trauma or who-has-it-worse or who’s more likely to become a villain or anything. It’s just something interesting I’ve noted, because there’s never been a character like her in the movies or the show, one who is going through stuff quite as bad as what she’s being presented as going through: No support, no money, no friends.

2. I find it interesting that she doesn’t (at the moment) have any direct connection to either Daniel or Johnny - the two cores of the show. Sure she was Johnny’s student for a hot second, but I don’t think they had a single meaningful interaction.

She interacted with Aisha first, which - when they wrote Aisha off the show (actually probably the thing I most disagree with in this story, because it left several question marks hanging in the air) - meant that the first grounding element she had in the story was lost.

Then she interacted with Sam and I think the core of their rivalry - that Sam represents everything Tory can’t have VS the complicated mix of privilege (which I’m hoping will be brought up) + the way Cobra Kai took her best friend and boyfriend from her + everything she’s internalised from Daniel - is really really cool and some of Tory’s strongest moments come from that, because the two play off each other so well and this show is all foils and nemeses. Hopefully the show won’t try to simplify this into “boyfriend troubles.”

Then there’s Miguel Which, obviously there’s some complicated stuff going on there, but in the end, beyond jilted lovers, I personally find her actual relationships with Aisha and Sam more interesting, although the general sense of “oh great, betrayed again, why did I think anything different would happen” + at the same time getting an insight into something inherently self-destructive, (in that she deliberately went for a guy she knew wasn’t over his ex) has some good elements to it.

(there’s Hawk as well, but that’s more casual-trauma-friendship-with-a-dose-of-egging-each-other-on, the two of them aren’t really close).

And lastly there’s Kreese. Who is. The only person who knows what she’s going through. We have one episode with a couple of scenes + a handful of comments that indicate where she’s at and where she’s at is not good. 

3. Tory is maybe a tough sell right off the bat, because of several factors: she’s mainly angry and violent, she’s (as stated above) not emotionally connected to the two leads and her only other relationships right now are antagonistic or written off the show or... Kreese. Robby is going to be there in season 4 which’ll offer some nice opportunities, but for the moment they’re pretty much strangers.

She was introduced later than anyone else we’ve got right now (characters from the movies notwithstanding, but we do already know those + they are connected to Daniel) and her first meaningful interaction was with Aisha, who, I will reiterate, I feel should not have been written off the darn show, but I digress. There was some really interesting interaction going on between her and Aisha and failing to make good on that kind of meant that there was a sense of floatiness to Tory’s first introduction - suddenly this relationship doesn’t matter, oh okay I guess? Reboot. 

That being said I think she’s a very bold addition to the show and I’m curious about where the story will go with Tory next, since imo her first two seasons were about building her character to a point where she could become an Antagonist with some hidden depths. 

I’m expecting based on the first three seasons of the show that those depths will be revisited and respected.

4. I think I’m hoping for Sam to realise what’s going on there, for Sam to try and help, for Sam to realise that, actually, Tory’s problems extend faaaar beyond her and she was more like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’d like this as well because while it might’ve been a weakness before that Tory wasn’t connected to Daniel or Johnny, now that can become a strength - the story can really start to move beyond them and into the ways that the younger characters interact with each other in a more forgiving + healing + understanding way (using their lessons, which... might? become more unified now? perchance? since they’re on the same side for the first time in... ever?)

I’d like for another adult to get involved there, but I’d absolutely love it if the first steps came from Sam and Tory, rather than Daniel or Johnny or any other adult noticing this kid needs some help. It’d be sad and hopeful all at once for them to have the realisation that sometimes kids just fall through the cracks, but then Tory can be supported by her peers first and foremost.

I wouldn’t necessarily say this needs to happen in season 4, but the sympathy extended to characters like Hawk, Robby, Johnny, Daniel, etc. in the writing needs to be extended to her as well. And for that to happen she needs to connect with someone other than Kreese.

Also, of course, Tory and Robby are going to be Sadness Bros next season, pretty sure they have horror stories to tell each other while they bond - I’m hoping this doesn’t become a romantic relationship, but it’s a show that likes its romantic relationships, so we’ll see. Fingers crossed. (also if Tory should be dating anyone it’s Aisha, right????) Point is, that’ll obviously give her more grounding with another main that isn’t I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

I think this is where the initial elements of those aforementioned depths can be explored more thoroughly. Robby wouldn’t just be willing to listen - he’d be the first character to really Get It. He’ll probably be the first person to understand her and so the first protagonist we’ll get to really relate to her through (again, to me Miguel doesn’t count, he didn’t know her at all). 

Anyway I want for Sam and Tory to become the ultimate remixed version of Daniel and Johnny, in that they fully cannot stand each other for X amount of the runtime, only to find common ground at the last moment and perchance do some gay, friendly karate matching. 

(Also Tory’s bi, right? Yeah, Tory’s bi. I see your flannel!)

Tory has the potential to be a great slow-burn character, so I’m excited!

[factoffictionwriter]

Tiva Fic Amnesty #7

A couple of pregnancy scenes. Just a peek into how our favorite couple might handle some of the stresses that come with bringing a new life into the world. 

Note: A well-meaning Aunt gave Ziva and Tali identical Baby Books at their Bat Mitzvahs (I think we all know an Aunt like this). 

Tony knew it was going to be a rough night when he opened the door to their apartment and found his very pregnant, very round girlfriend sitting in the middle of the living room floor hunched over the laptop. There were no lights on in the entire place, only the bright screen to illuminate her face. 

He took a deep breath before closing the door behind him, “Ziva?” 

Her head snapped in his direction, “We need a name, Tony. Our baby doesn’t have a name.” 

He sighed, “We talked about this, Ziva. We said we weren’t gonna name her until we met her.” 

“But we need to have some ideas. We can’t just expect to look at her and come up with a name out of nowhere. We have to have a list or something.” 

Here they go again. Another night like this. He glanced around their spotless apartment. He could tell she had spent most of her day cleaning, though the place had been practically immaculate when he left her this morning. Nesting, Dr. Brown had called it. Her irresistible urge to clean and prepare for the baby. Most days cleaning the apartment and reorganizing the piles of baby clothes in the nursery was enough to satiate them (first the clothes were organized by color, then by size, then by use, then back to color), but other days she paced around miserably as she tried to pinpoint what exactly it was she needed to be doing to prepare, though there was absolutely nothing left for her to do. 

At least she had already found something to fixate on tonight. But, of course, it had to be the one thing they had agreed not to spend too much time preparing. Tony had this irrational fear of naming their child. It was stupid, he knew it, but he was terrified that they would pick the wrong one and the kid would grow to resent him (like he almost had with his father. Nobody should have to be a Jr. Nobody.). 

Ziva had claimed to understand this, and they had decided that they would pick the name for their daughter in an organic way. Whatever they thought when they looked at her, that would be her name. Second trimester Ziva had been completely fine with leaving that detail to the last minute.

But clearly, 3 weeks from her due date and nesting out of her freaking mind Ziva wasn’t so cool with that plan. 

“What do you think of the name Leah?” 

He scrunched his nose, “Didn’t you tell me that Leah meant sick or weakly in Hebrew?” 

“It does.” 

“Let’s not tempt the fates. Leah is a no.”

“What about Sarah? It means ruler or princess.” 

He considered it as he moved to the wall and turned on the overhead lights, “Sarah could work. I like Sarah.” 

“I do too,” she whispered as she seemed to add that name to a list she had going on the computer.

“What did you say your mother’s name means again?” 

“Rivka? It means ‘a woman who takes a man’s heart’. But I could not name our child that. It is much too ethnic for a child growing up in america.” 

“But there is an english version of it, right?” 

She nodded, “Rebecca.” 

“I like Rebecca.” 

She scrunched up her face, “I am not sure I do.”

“Okay, no Rebecca.” 

She ran a flustered hand through her messy curls, “I have accumulated a decent list. We can go through them together in a minute. Can you go grab the baby book from the nursery? I think there is a page in there to document the names we are considering for her before she is born.”

He nodded and tossed his stuff into the corner, making his way down the hall and grabbing the book off the crowded dresser. He flipped through some of the pages was he walked back to the living room. She had really done a great job with this thing. There were pictures inserted on almost every page. Some of her, some of ultrasounds, others of the two of them together, posing in front of their apartment building and other significant places for their child. 

He flipped one final page as he cleared the hallway, stopping in his tracks as he looked down at the finely printed name on the paper. 

“Uh, babe?” 

“What?” 

“This page is already filled out.” 

“What page?” 

“The one for the baby’s name. Like her real name. Her official name.” 

“What are you talking about?”

He held the book in front of him for her to see as he crossed the room and sat on the floor beside her.

She took the book from his hand slowly, her eyes moving across the page several times before she processed what she was seeing. 

In black ink, typed in a font that was meant to look like the writing of a small child it simply said: 

My name is:

And beside it was a thin line where you were supposed to be able to write in your baby’s name. But there was already a name there, in careful script, lined all the way up to the left side of the space so that there was plenty of room behind it to write a last name. 

Tali

“Oh,” Ziva whispered as she ran her finger over the delicate letters.

“Do you know what happened?” 

She nodded, “This must have been the book my aunt gave to my sister. I remember sitting in our bedroom one day, less than a year before the attack. We were making fun of the way that Americans like to name their children after themselves.” 

He held a hand up to his chest and pretended to act wounded, “Ouch.” 

“I actually like your name, Tony. But some people can take the whole family name thing seriously. You end up with Charles White III or Malcom Brimington the VIII.” 

“Stanley Yelnats IIV.” 

She laughed, “If you want your movie references to keep going over my head, you are going to have to stop showing me so many of them. That is from Holes.” 

He smiled down at her, “I knew there was a reason I loved you.” 

“Anyway, Tali had insisted she was going to name her child after herself, whether it was a boy or girl. I told her she wouldn’t dare. It is common in the Jewish community to name your child after a loved one or a family member, but hardly ever after one of the parents. She dug out her book and pulled out a pen. She wrote her name in it, telling me that it was already done. Her child, boy or girl, was destined to be named Tali.” 

He sat up a little straighter, a whole bunch of different things coming together to click in his mind. 

“Tali DiNozzo,” He whispered so quietly he wasn’t even sure she would hear him. 

But she did. And she lifted her head up, her eyes finding his slowly, “What?” 

He cleared his throat, unexpected emotions making it feel tighter as he tried to say the name again, the name he knew would be their daughter’s, “Tali DiNozzo.” 

The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to blink away a whole new wave of tears, “Did we just…” 

“Name our daughter? I think we did.” 

She swallowed as she tried to gather up the strength to try it out herself, “Tali DiNozzo.” 

He smiled at the way it rolled off her tongue, so much more graceful than his. He knew he had been so against picking a name before the baby came, but even he couldn’t ignore what had just happened. They hadn’t picked the name. The name had picked them. And no name had ever felt as right coming off his lips as that one did. Accept maybe Ziva’s. He would consider them a tie. 

Ziva set the book down and turned the laptop screen up so she could see it better. She squinted at it for a couple of seconds before turning her eyes back to his. 

“Tali Elizabeth DiNozzo.” 

He clenched his jaw to keep back the next set of emotions.

“My mom.” 

Ziva nodded, “That was at the top of my list. Your mother had a beautiful name.” 

“Yeah.” 

They both took deep breaths simultaneously as they let the name sit between them. 

Ziva finally looked down, pulling the fabric of her shirt up so she could put her hand directly on her swollen stomach, “What do you think, Yakiri? Do you like your name?” 

Tony leaned forward and put his hand next to hers, bending down so he could whisper against her warm skin, “Tali Elizabeth DiNozzo. What do you think?”

They waited in tense silence, both staring at the bump, anticipating a response. 

They weren’t disappointed. 

A tiny limb, be it a hand or a foot, moved just beneath his palm, then again under hers. 

“I think she likes it,” Ziva whispered.

“I think so, too.” 

“We have a name.” 

“And she’s not even here yet.” 

She winked at him before leaning back and trying to lift herself off of the floor. He watched as she leaned left and right, trying to get her balance right so she could stand up. 

She failed. And soon fell back on her ass.

“Tony…” she whined as she looked over at him, the pathetic puppy dog eyes he always knew she had inside of her but never thought she would dare pull out were on full display. 

He sighed and lifted himself off the ground before offering both his hands to her and grunting sadly as he pulled her to an upright position. 

“Do you feel better now? We have a name… we have a nursery… we have the car ready for the transport home from the hospital. We are ready for this baby, Ziva.” 

She nodded, “I know we are. I just… I don’t know. I have a feeling that she’s gonna be here before we know it. I want everything to be…”

“Perfect.” 

She sighed, “When you put it like that, I sound crazy.”

“Not crazy. You sound like a Mom. It was bound to happen eventually.”

---

Convincing Ziva to ride home with him instead of with Gibbs was a challenge. She was still worried about the man she considered her father now that he no longer had his. She remembered how hard it was to lose Eli. She remembered how much it hurt to be the last one left. Gibbs was the last of his family. She knew that had to be weighing on him.

She practically saw the ghosts of Shannon and Kelly standing next to him during the funeral. She could feel him feeling their loss. Being the last one alive had a way of bringing back all those past deaths. All that past pain. She understood. And she wasn’t sure she should leave him to drive all the way back to DC alone.

But it was a damn good thing she did. Because when they stopped at a gas station just 45 minutes away from home so she could waddle her way into the bathroom for the 500th time that day (pregnant women can see like it’s nobody’s business. Tony had not understood that until this minute), she was barely gone 5 minutes before his phone started buzzing in his pocket. Her face was on his screen. He answered it hesitantly.

“Everything okay in there?”

��Don’t freak out,” she said, her voice so calm that he almost couldn’t believe he had heard her correctly.

“Why don’t you tell me what I’m not freaking out over before I make any promises.”

“Did you remember to put the go-bag in the car before you left home?”

“Go bag? You mean the hospital bag?”

“Yeah, whatever. Did you remember to put it in the car?”

His eyes widened as he tried to cran his neck to see into the trunk of the car, “I’m not sure. Why?”

“Because we’re gonna need it.”

He froze as he tried to get his lips to move and get out the words he was thinking, “You’re not-”

“I am, Tony. My water broke. I’m going into labor.”

He started fumbling with his seat belt, finding it suddenly impossible to unbuckle, “You can’t be. You’re what…. Two weeks early?”

“Oh, right. My bad. Let me just tell the baby. I’m sure she won’t mind waiting.”

“Sarcasm isn’t helping, Ziva,” he finally managed to undo his seatbelt, now he was fumbling with opening the door.

She sighed, “Right. Sorry. Just… get in here. I need you to help me stand up.”

He tried not to laugh at his own mental picture, her sitting on the toilet, her pants around her ankles and her stomach bulging. She was stuck. And laughing was not what he needed to be doing right now.

He opened the door too aggressively, drawing the attention of a few onlookers. He ignored them.

“I’m coming, Zi. Be there in a sec.”

He ran across the parking lot, ducking into the store and almost knocking over a display of cornchips in his dash for the bathroom.

He had it all planned out. He was gonna help her get cleaned up, lead her through the gas station as quickly as possible, and gun it all the way to the hospital. He cursed himself for driving the Hyundai instead of his Porsche. Though it would be much better to drive home from the hospital with the extra room. And he was pretty sure he could still hit 120 in this thing on a good stretch of road. Sometimes having a badge pays off.

He had really thought through it all… except for the possibility of other women being in the bathroom. He burst through the door and was met with four wide eyes as two women turned to face him. One reached into her purse and he had to hold up his hands out of fear of being pepper sprayed.

“No funny business. I swear. My girlfriend just went into labor and I-”

“Tony!” Ziva yelled from inside the farthest stall, “A little help here!”

[irondadheadcanons]

Peter has spider instincts and he can control them eighty percent of the time of course Peter hasn't told Tony of this Tony finds out when Peter comes back in to the compound kitchen covered in blood and a look of extreme satisfaction on his face (he ate a deer and fought a bear) and after Peter's shower they have a talk

(QUICK NOTE: We wrote this at 4:30 am. Just… just remember that, okay?)

–

(italics are kat/@losingmymindtonight and regular is shannon/@parkrstark) 

Okay… so… there’s a lot to unpack here.

First of all: why would a spider FIGHT A BEAR

Where did he FIND A BEAR in NYC??

Was he upstate already?

Did he kill the deer himself or did he steal the deerfrom a bear and that’s why he fought one?

Do spiders even eat deer?

I love how serious you’re going into this

This is IMPORTANT STUFF SHANNON

Listen. If Peter can control his spider instincts 80% ofthe time then that means that 20% of his life he CAN’T

Which means he spends about 73 days a year just… punchingbears and eating deer

I’m concerned

He should get that checked out

“Bruce… Bruce we’ve got a teenie little problem”

Okay okay so I looked into it and the biggest animal Ican find record of a spider eating is a bird or a rat so i’m not sure how wegot a deer here

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING THIS UP. YOUR BROWSER HISTORY IS ALREADYQUESTIONABLE FROM YOUR WHUMP RESEARCH

So Upstate New York’s black bear population is currentlyestimated at 6,000-8,000. That means that if Peter kills a black bear everytime he loses control of his “spider instincts,” it will take him about 83years to eradicate the entire population (assuming that the bears aren’treproducing)

Significantly less if he can knock out two each episode

What the fuck

Do you like my science Shannon?

#1 I think that’s math #2 I could be wrong about #1 becauseI always skipped science class #3 why are you like this

I imagine that Tony thought #3 too when Peter camewaltzing into the Compound covered in blood and deer guts

On that note: CAN YOU BELIEVE TONY LET HIM TAKE A SHOWERBEFORE TALKING ABOUT THIS

IM SORRY SHANNON

BUT IF YOU ROLLED INTO MY HOUSE COVERED IN BITS OF DEAD DEER

THE SHOWER CAN WAIT

WE HAVIN A TALK FIRST

I can assure you, I will never come to your house covered indead deer

And also

Why did he eat the deer but not the bear

SEE NOW YOU’RE GETTING INTO THE SPIRIT

Do deer taste better than bears?

Let me ask Google

I await a response with baited breath

Truly how did I live before knowing the answer to thisquestion

So apparently bear meat can taste pretty nasty if thebear has been eating a lot of salmon or carrion

So maybe it was just a really nasty bear

And Peter was like “nah. Let me get at that raw deer meatinstead”

So maybe Peter tracks the bear’s diet before attacking it

Do you think he kills the bear or does he just

Like

Roundhouse kick it in the jaw

I was wondering that

“I’M THE CAPTAIN NOW”

And the bear is just like “yessir”

Maybe he just knocks it out and then… calls it a day

Maybe he’s already full from the deer???

Which came first: the deer or the bear

Does he just… get the urge to fight bears??? Or does heget the urge to eat deer and therefore fights bears for their deer carcasses???

Maybe the deer guts on him attracted the bear so he had tofight off the bear. He didn’t want to kill it, it was just self defense

Because even in spider instinct mode, Peter is still achill bro

I just googled “is there a bear-fighting spider”

There isn’t, but apparently there IS a sport known asspider fighting

Which is exactly what it sounds like

Spiders fighting each other?

Yep

For what purpose?

Is it like a game?? A mating ritual??

DIRECTLY FROM WIKIPEDIA: “In the United States, spider-fighting is also prevalentin prisons in Florida, where inmates catch them and keep them in boxes as pets.In 2002, a fight between three inmates over the theft of a pet spider resultedin life-threatening skull injuries to one inmate and additional charges to theother two.”

SHANNON I CANT BREATHE

Life gets rough in the big house

You have to rely on spider fights

“Life threatening skull injuries”

That must have been one hell of a spider, to warrant that

Also, the ambiguity of “they have a talk” is just………there’s so much option there

There is NO info about Tony’s reaction AT ALL

I’d hope his reaction involves some concern

“Comes back to the kitchen” also means that they were justchilling in the kitchen, probably talking about some cool suit upgrades, whenPeter was suddenly like, “hold on, fam, spider instincts, gotta eat a deer” andthen goes out and comes back after however long it takes him to do this

“Peter? What did you even DO?!”

“Oh, you know. Killed a deer, fought a bear.”

“You fought a WHAT NOW?!”

“Spider instincts”

“There is not a species of spider ALIVE that does thisshit, Peter. THIS IS NOT NORMAL WHAT THE FUCK”

“WAIT. DID YOU EAT RAW, UNPROCESSED DEER MEAT??? DEARGOD. BRUCE??? PETER NEEDS A RABIES SHOT ASAP”

“Some spiders hibernate, some eat deer.”

Listen. We as a society need to accept ALL types ofspiders, strange bear fighting habits and all

And this conversation happens after the shower… does Tonyask or does he just shove him right into the bathroom?

Does he think it’s human blood at first??????

“Do we need this hide a body??? PETER??? DO WE NEED TOHIDE A BODY???”

IMMEDIATE SUPPORT FROM IRONDAD

If he has a satisfied look on his face, does that meanthat Peter’s spider instincts are still going off or does the normal humanPeter just see…… no problem with this turn of events???

Is he satisfied with the taste of the deer or the outcome ofthe bear fight?????

Maybe he’s used to it and he’s just riding that spiderinstinct high for a little while longer

Does Peter’s bucket list just look like:

1. Meet Mark Hamill2. Build a Lego Death Star3. Go to Comic Con4. Fight a fucking bear5. Pet a Dalmation

Okay but the concept of the instincts being like a highis HELLA amusing to me

“Yeah hi my name is Peter and I get high off of DECKINGBEARS and MURDERING DEER with my BARE HANDS”

Does he always eat deer? Or is it this like steadyprogression of animals. Maybe he started small with like squirrels and slowlymoves his way up the animal kingdom

The endgame is a blue whale

“Mr. Stark, can we go on a cruise?”

“…… why?”

“No reason”

Just, for a sec, imagine Peter fighting a blue whale

How do you even fight something that big???

Does he nibble on it slowly and the whale doesn’t evenrealize it

Or does he fucking pick it up by the tail and bodyslam itback and forth

BOTH IMAGES ARE GLORIOUS

“Happy? Where’s the kid?”

“I thought you had him?”

“Ah shit. He’s trying to eat a damn whale again.”

IM CRYING

So now Tony knows the 20% of Peter’s life where he losescontrol…..what does he do??? Does he lock him in the Compound with some cookeddeer meat? Does he let him loose with a really long leash? Does he follow himaround spray bottle filled with water for when he tries going after the wronganimals?

Peter sees a squirrel and starts foaming at the mouth andTony just pulls out a spray bottle and sprays him in the face

“No! Bad Peter! Leave it!”

“If you’re good I’ve got some raw bison waiting at homewith your name on it”

“This time I won’t try hiding vegetables in the rottingcarcass.”

“No, you still have to eat them! You’re still a growingspider…boy…thing”

I love how we just assume that Tony would just look atthis situation and go “…this is fine”

Actual footage of Tony

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll be the next snack if he upsets Peter

Peter just starts gnawing on one of the receptionists andTony runs over with the spray bottle like “SPIT IT OUT”

…. we’re getting into dangerous territory now

“DAMNIT PETER. I CAN’T LOSE ANOTHER WORKER. NOT AGAIN.”

“NOT AGAIN”

Poor Jenny Carter came into work wearing her fox coat. Shewas never seen again.

You know what? Serves her right for supporting the peltindustry

Peter wears Jenna like a coat

Oh GOD

But only when he’s high on spider juices

Tony has an important business meeting and the other personkeeps staring down at Tony’s leg in concern. Peter is gnawing at his anklebecause that last deer just wasn’t enough.

Tony’s like “WHAT’S THE MATTER YOU NEVER SEEN A SPIDERFEEDING BEFORE”

Peter never actually hurts Tony because even as a highspider, the irondad bond is too strong. And Tony trusts him enough to let ithappen

…… are you making this cute right now

It seems I am

Tony keeps a bag full of dried strips of meat on him tolet Peter chew on during his “episodes”

Happy mistakes it for jerky one day

Poor Happy

HAPPY WOULD BE SO FUCKING DONE

*Peter is chewing on Tony’s shoulder*

“TONY THIS IS NOT NORMAL”

“But look how cute he is”

“TONY HE’S TRYING TO EAT YOU”

“He’s giving me kisses. What a good son”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“THIS WAS NOT IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION TONY”

Happy is disrupting Peter’s peace so when he’s complainingto Tony, Peter gets really close and Happy flinches expecting to lose an armbut Peter just slaps him across the face with his dried meat strip

“Bad Happy”

Tony’s grinning. “That’s right, buddy. Bad Happy. Shameon you, Hap. Look at him. He’s an angel”

“Spray.”

“You’re right, kiddo. Bad Happy needs a spray.”

“Tony, don’t you.. I swear to god if you—”

TONY GETS SO USED TO USING THE SPRAY BOTTLE THAT ONE DAYIN A MEETING HE JUST BUSTS IT OUT WHEN ONE OF THE STOCKHOLDERS IS BEINGDIFFICULT AND SPRAYS HIM IN THE FACE

So what state does Peter revert to while he’s in this spiderkilling mode… what kind of state of mind does he have? Like he’s high? He’sdrunk? He’s a toddler? He’s a dog?

He seems like a mix between a toddler/a dog/and a dogaddict

*drug addict

I meant drug addict

Sorry, I was just projecting there

He’s addicted to petting puppies

And chewing on them…. There was that one reallyunfortunate incident at the animal shelter….

They don’t talk about that… Lucky gets by with three legsfine now.

Shannon do you realize this is the most elaborateheadcanon we’ve ever done

This may be my favorite one yet

… Shannon we can do crack now too

Crack, whump, and fluff: THE HOLY TRINITY

This is our legacy

[xfilescat]

something else (steve harrington x named!reader

word count: about 3k

warnings: none except language (maybe not even language, i might’ve taken out all the swearing lmao)

preview: “You were so caught up that you barely registered Hopper speaking. ‘Have you two been drinking already?’

Joyce chuckled. ‘I don’t think so, Hop. That’s not alcohol. That’s something else.’

‘Drugs?’

‘Something else.’”

A/N: umm hey guys! guess who’s back w another attempt at being a good writer!!! i gotta tell you something: i’ve literally written and scrapped like five entire fics since i posted “a river in egypt” because i do this thing where i reread something i’ve written so many times that i start to despise it. i’m basically holding myself at gunpoint to post this one because i really wanna break that cycle!! also forgive me for completely ignoring the release date of “we built this city.” this fic is set around june 1985 & the song came out in august of that year, but it’s just such a good example of a bad ‘80s song (now there’s an oxymoron for ya) that i had to pretend it came out earlier!! also, there is one prerequisite for reading this fic: you MUST either listen to or look up the lyrics to “he’s the greatest dancer” by sister sledge before you read this, otherwise you’ll be a little confused about a few jokes. anyway, i hope you enjoy cuz i had a lot of fun writing this. oh, and i’ve included a list of all the songs mentioned in this fic because i love music and i think it will help you to kinda feel what i was feeling when i wrote each scene :) so take a look!

songs used/implied/referenced: “last chance on the stairway” by duran duran

“he’s the greatest dancer” by sister sledge

“wonderful tonight” by eric clapton

“we built this city” by starship

“train in vain” by the clash

“one more night” by phil collins

June 1st, 1985 was the Hawkins High School senior prom, and from the moment you zipped up your sparkly dress and stepped into your sky-high heels, you told yourself that you were going to stick it out for the whole night. Yes, prom was an archaic, overrated triviality, but you figured that after all of the stuff that had happened last year, you could use a little triviality. Plus, you were there with Steve, so you knew that even if nothing else lived up to your expectations, you’d have a good time. He was your best friend.

You had to admit that the Hawkins High School prom committee had done a bang-up job of turning the run-down gymnasium into something halfway gorgeous. There were glimmering paper stars and streamers hanging from the rafters, a big shiny disco ball was casting flattering beams of light across everyone’s faces, and they had even gotten one of those classic balloon arches under which students posed for Mr. Comenski’s camera. It looked like a cheesy movie, but in a good way, an “I’ll remember this forever” way.

About a half hour before the end of prom, one of your favorite songs started to play. You and Steve were mingling with some friends at a table when you heard the first few notes, grabbed his arm, and pulled him to the dance floor so fast you nearly knocked a couple of people over. He had to have the patience of a saint for putting up with you, for just smiling good-naturedly whenever you did things like that—which was often. When it came to you and your antics, there was never any question as to whether or not he was along for the ride. He always was.

“I gotta say,” you said after a few minutes of dancing. “This night isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.” You took his hand and twirled under it.

“I know.” Steve had to shout to be heard over Duran Duran. “This is really fun. The only thing I’d change is your dancing ability.”

Your jaw dropped. “Wow. Sorry I haven’t mastered your signature move of standing there and bopping your head. We can’t all have your god-given talent.”

He grinned and nodded, easily sidestepping your sarcasm. “Did you know Sister Sledge actually wrote ‘He’s The Greatest Dancer’ about me?”

You laughed and placed your hands on his shoulders as “Last Chance on the Stairway” faded out and an old Eric Clapton song filled the room. “Ah, so you’re the ‘champion of dance.’”

“My moves would put you in a trance,” he confirmed as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You two began to slow dance, albeit a bit formally. There was a safe and friendly distance between you. Nothing like Carol and Tommy, who were literally making out with each other ten feet away from you. It was nice: you chatted as you swayed, joking around and singing along to the song. You shut your eyes and tried to memorize every single detail: how the way you were angled made the music sound a little louder in your right ear, how Steve’s hands felt around your waist, how badly your shoes hurt. In that moment, everything seemed special and everything seemed to be a part of something bigger and more beautiful.

Then, they cut Clapton short and started playing “We Built This City” for the second time that night and you opened your eyes the same reluctant way you do when you hear your alarm go off in the morning. You and Steve looked around at your fellow students kicking up their heels and then locked eyes in mutual confusion. You shrugged. Maybe nearly dying a couple times gave you and him a lower tolerance for bad music: life was too damn valuable to spend any second of it listening to Starship. Steve said something to you, but you couldn’t hear him. You leaned in closer. “What?”

“I said, do you wanna get out of here?”

You smiled in relief. “Yes, definitely.”

He immediately took your hand and led you off the dance floor. You made a beeline for the back door and to your surprise, he didn’t let go right away. Not even after the door swung shut behind you and there were no more crowds to get lost in.

It was tranquil outside. You could still hear the music from the gym, but other than that, there was no sound save for your heels clicking against the pavement. It made being on campus at night feel all the more surreal. So did holding Steve’s hand. “Hey,” you said, peering up at him. He looked almost unreal in the moonlight, and you had to tighten your grip on him to make sure that you weren’t dreaming. “Is this something we do now?” You started swinging your still-entwined hands. As close as you had become in the past few months, holding on this long was new.

He chuckled. “Sure, why not?”

“Alright, then. Cool.”

“Cool.”

You listened to your footsteps for a little while longer. Once you reached Steve’s car, you leaned against the passenger side while he unlocked the doors. You watched him fumble with his keys in the low light before he glanced across the roof at you. “Shannon?”

“Mhm?”

“Where are we even going?”

You rested your chin on top of your folded arms. “I dunno. Anywhere but here?”

“We could go grab some food to kill time before Tina’s party.”

You sighed. “Right. That. I forgot about that.” You knew that an after party was part of the whole prom deal, but you’d let it slip from your mind. Or maybe you’d blocked it out because it was too unpleasant to think about. Standing around in some stranger’s trashed house while your classmates did dumb, drunken shit wasn’t exactly your definition of a good time. You opened the door and slid into the passenger seat with another sigh.

Steve sat down behind the wheel and met your eyes with an authoritarian, knowing look on his face. You knew that look. You called it his “dad face.” It was usually aimed at one of the kids—or you—when they tried to do something stupid. “You don’t wanna go?”

“Don’t give me that damn look.” He laughed, and you fought back a smile before continuing. “It’s not that I don’t wanna go, it’s just that…” You trailed off.

“You don’t wanna go,” he finished for you.

You grinned. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “In all honesty, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about going, either. It’s just gonna be more of the same. Plus, Hargrove may not have shown up here, but there’s no way he’d miss out on free booze and I reeeally don’t want to deal with him tonight.”

“Exactly. So can we just ditch it?”

“Please.”

“Thank goodness.” You leaned back in your seat and sighed for a third time, this time in contentedness. “Now, what are we gonna do with all this free time?”

He thought it over for a moment as he started the car. You watched as a smile eventually spread across his face. “I have a great idea, Shan,” he said matter-of-factly, pulling out of his parking space.

“What is it?”

“Put your seatbelt on first.”

You complied. “Where are we going?”

“To a disco on the outskirts of Frisco.”

“Steve,” you giggled. “Come on.”

“Okay, okay. I know a couple of people who’re throwing a very exclusive party tonight, and it just so happens that we’re on the guest list.”

When you walked up to the front yard of Chief Hopper’s cabin, he and Joyce were sitting on the porch enjoying the weather. “You kids are back early,” he commented. You were far enough away that he had to shout for you to hear him.

“Yeah,” Steve called. “We skipped out on the whole after-prom thing.” He was helping you hold up your skirt so it wouldn’t get dragged across the forest floor. You were still in your dress and he was still in his tux even though you both had brought a change of clothes for Tina’s party. You knew that the kids would love to see you guys all dressed up.

“Good,” Hopper replied. “I don’t need any more drunk and stupid teenagers running around my town tonight doing drunk and stupid things.”

Your high heels were turning the leaves into a treacherous obstacle course, but you were determined to make it to the cabin without assistance. You stumbled once and steadied yourself, then another time, and then another time before Steve finally rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around your waist. You looked up at him and raised your eyebrows. “Is this something we do now?”

He burst out laughing and you couldn’t contain yourself, either—you were overcome by that inescapable, long-lasting kind of laughter that only inside jokes brought about. Steve’s dress shoes weren’t ideal for traipsing through the woods, either, so with all your giggling, neither of you were very surefooted. About thirty feet from the porch, you stepped onto a particularly slippery patch of leaves and went down, taking Steve with you. This only served to exacerbate your laughing fits. It suddenly seemed like absolutely everything was funny, from the leaves in your hair to the awkward position you had landed in. You were so caught up that you barely registered Hopper speaking. “Have you two been drinking already?”

Joyce chuckled. “I don’t think so, Hop. That’s not alcohol. That’s something else.”

“Drugs?”

“Something else.”

“Ah.”

After a few more seconds of mindlessness, Steve stood up and helped you to your feet. “Alright,” he said, dusting himself off. “We’re gonna make it this time. Are you good?”

You winced as you stretched out your arm and felt a fresh soreness in your elbow. “I’m good enough. I just need to…” You grabbed his shoulder and reached down to take off your shoes. “There. Now I can walk.” You bunched up your skirt so it wouldn’t drag and started toward the cabin. Steve fell into step beside you and muttered something under his breath about how you should’ve just taken your shoes off earlier. You went wide-eyed. “Oh, okay! Keep it up, Steve. Keep it up and you’ll be wearing these shoes.”

He laughed and looked at you like you were crazy. There was something else in his eyes, though, something intense and admiring, that threatened to send you reeling back down to the forest floor. “What the hell does that even mean?” His playful tone of voice was completely out of sync with that look.

“You heard me,” you replied, but you said it to the ground so he wouldn’t see you blush.

Once you reached the porch, you made small talk with Hopper and Joyce until a cacophony of voices drew you inside the cabin. The kids were huddled in front of the television watching some old soap opera. From what you could tell, they were parroting lines from the show in ridiculous voices and completely losing their minds over it. “Alright, kids,” Steve called as he took a seat at one of the chairs at the kitchen table and kicked off his shoes. “Party’s over. We’re back.”

El turned around first. When she saw you, her jaw dropped and she immediately ran over. “You look so pretty,” she said emphatically, twisting the skirt of your dress so that it sparkled in the light. You beamed and ruffled her hair.

Steve watched this interaction with that same dazzled look on his face from a few minutes before. When you met his eyes, however, he cleared his throat and turned to look over at the rest of the kids. “So, what have you guys been up to?”

Max leaned over the back of the sofa. “Never mind what we’re doing. Why are you home so early?”

“Yeah, it’s prom,” Lucas said. “Aren’t you supposed to be out all night?”

“I bet they got kicked out,” Dustin teased.

Mike scoffed. “They didn’t get kicked out. They’re not cool enough to get kicked out.”

“We didn’t get kicked out,” you confirmed. “Prom’s over. We just didn’t go to any after parties ’cause we’d rather hang out with you guys.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “And by the way, we are so cool enough to get kicked out.”

He and the kids then launched into a ridiculous debate about what you two would’ve had to have done to get yourselves thrown out of prom. You stopped listening after Will posited that you guys could have been shown the door because you only hung out with middle schoolers. You instead focused your attention on El, who was still studying your dress. “Shannon,” she said thoughtfully. “What is prom like?”

You motioned for her to follow you over to the couch. “Prom is really cliché, but really fun. You get to dress up and see your friends and just have a great time.” You set your high heels on the floor and relaxed into the cushions.

El sat down next to you and folded her legs. “What do you do there?”

“You dance, mostly.”

“Like at the Snowball?”

You half-smiled, half-cringed as memories of tense, uncomfortable slow dances with nervous preteen boys at your own Snowball flashed through your mind. “Yeah, sorta. But dancing at prom is different.”

“Different how?”

You thought about it for a minute. “Honestly, I can’t explain. It’s just different.”

“Geez, Shan. Don’t be so cryptic,” Dustin interrupted as he flopped onto the adjacent sofa. The debate must have been resolved because Steve and the others make their way over, too. Steve joined Dustin on the couch while Mike, Will, Max, and Lucas sat down on the floor.

You chuckled. “I’m not being cryptic! It’s just different. Here, you know what? We’ll show you.” You stood up and held out your hand to Steve.

He tore his eyes away from the television. “We will?”

“Just get up.”

He grinned, stood up, and took your hand. You started to pull him into the kitchen where there was more open space. “Wait,” he said, trying and failing to dig his sock-covered heels into the wood floor. “We’re gonna dance to this?” Something by The Clash was playing.

“No, not this.” You dropped his hand when you reached the kitchen and walked over to the radio. “Something more like…” you let yourself trail off as you tuned through different stations looking for an appropriate song: something slow, something sweet. You stopped when you heard the beginning of “One More Night” and turned it up loud. “Something more like this,” you said, walking back into the kitchen.

“Okay, everybody,” Steve said to the kids once you’d reached him. “Pay attention.” Five out of the six of them regarded you two with a casual interest, but El looked completely engaged. “If you’re leading, you’re gonna keep your hands right about here,” Steve said, putting his hands on your waist.

“That’s right,” you said. “No higher, no lower. Now, if you’re not leading, you’re going to put your hands on the other person’s shoulders like this.”

“We already know this stuff,” Mike interrupted. “We’ve all danced before.”

“Yeah,” Dustin agreed. “Hey, Mike, remember when your sister practically begged me to dance with her at the Snowball?” Mike whacked the teasing smirk off Dustin’s face with a pillow.

Steve shrugged. “Well, then consider this a refresher course.”

“And I told you, dancing at prom is different,” you added. “It’s a lot slower.” You began to move to the music.

“And closer,” Steve said, guiding you toward him until you two were pressed right up against each other. You looked at him and widened your eyes a little. That wasn’t how you had danced together at prom.

“So, uh, from here on,” you said quietly, “you just sorta sway.”

Steve nodded. “It’s easy.”

After that, neither of you spoke for a while. You just held each other and stepped from side to side. During the silence, Phil Collins sang the lyric “I will always be with you” and you realized that this wasn’t how best friends were supposed to dance with each other. The kids seemed to have picked up on that, too, because they’d all pointedly fixed their gazes back onto the TV. Out of nowhere, you began to laugh. You laughed because you were nervous, and you were nervous because you were young and a little in love. Steve leaned back and looked down at you. “Are you okay?” He spoke slowly, emphasizing each word.

You moved your head in some semblance of a nod. You had stopped dancing by then and you started to sink down to the floor. Steve sat down, too, eyeing you cautiously. “Why are you laughing?”

“I don’t know,” you managed to say. “I have no idea.” You squeezed your eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. Once you were calm, you opened your eyes and looked over at Steve. When you saw how utterly confused he was, though, with his face all scrunched up the way it gets when he’s doing his math homework, you started to giggle anew. This time, he did, too. You let yourself fall against his chest, your shoulders shaking with the force of your laughter. You felt giddy and weightless; you imagined that this must be what it felt like to be drunk. At some point, you lifted your head up just as he bent his down and your lips gently and innocently brushed against his.

The laughter stopped instantly as if someone had flipped a switch. At once, you drew his face to yours and kissed him again, this time on purpose and with fervor. He clutched you closer and reached one hand up to cup your cheek. Kissing him was like laughing with him: it was easy, it was intoxicating, and it was incredibly hard to stop. You only paused to pull away when you felt him smile against your lips. “What?”

He was already snickering. He could barely get the words out. “Is this—is this something we do now?”

You both fell back into hysterics and collapsed against each other. Your stomach was killing you and your eyes were watering and your bruised elbow was caught between Steve and the cabinet behind him, but you didn’t care. Especially not after Steve threw his arms around you and kissed you urgently. In that moment, you knew you weren’t just best friends anymore. You were something else.

[landuselover]

THE FINAL ACT- My Married Boyfriend Got his Girlfriend Pregnant - Part I’m finally Done

I was moving pass the pain of falling back in love with this man and then breaking up with him during the most stressful time of the year for me my Birthday. But honestly it was better than waking up daying him and not understanding why he hasn’t reached out to me which was really a majority of the year we were hot and heavy together.

I just kept thinking why he had to say I love you to me, why did he have to act like I was so expendable for 7 days, Why the fuck did he feel like it was okay to play me for so long till I found out he was fucking married. Shit why did it even matter I was choosing myself and you know I had  Great birthday with very good friends of mine.  

Then 9/9 came along just a somewhat spiritual day you know the same numbers bullshit just about 7:00 pm I get text message on my phone. I miss you, im so confused, Tell jimmy I say Hi, I got zapped last week and had heat stroke and passed out at work. So sorry I hurt you.

WHAT the FUCK is this BULL SHIT. I told myself are you fucking Kidding me!!! I SWEAR TO GOD HOW DID THIS MOTHER FUCKING NOT UNDERSTAND he is on a daily breaking my heart so why the fuck would I let him back and you know what I am gonna tell him what is going. I call him right now.

He didn’t answer. I message back, see you can text but you can never talk Typical. Well I got a call right back and an answer I have no idea to expect.

Shannon, I did everything you asked of me, No I don’t have a divorce date with my wife, cuz that is fucking realistic. I told you fucking loved you cuz I do, I don’t know how to make you happy, I could of gone home and seen my kids sooner.l could of gone home and see my kids sooner and I came and saw you and then you fucking dump me Ya im freaking pissed. Because I don’t understand how this happened. And you know im fucking tired so I don’t know what you tell you. Soo Good Night Shannon!

It was the quickest 2 minute phone call that I had ever experience and it was the first time I have ever experience someone caring so much to yell at me to get me back.. Wow as I write that I can smell that abuse in my past. But it was true it felt me like holy fucking shit I have broken up with this guy multiple times with multiple ultimatums but everything he came back and this time is screamed his love at me.

I texted him I understood where he was coming form and that I am sorry he felt that I didn’t appreciate his commitment to coming to see me. I told him I hope he got some food and started to feel better. And that we will talk soon. He said he was leaving for Hawaii Sunday. I told him I would talked to him then.

Of course we texted but he didn’t call me till Monday when was officially locked in his room awaiting quarantine. I asked him how he was doing. How he was feeling and he asked what changed.

I said I made my decision in a tunnel and I saw you side of the situation What I was asking for didn’t make any since. I knew you didn’t pick a date that you were gonna file for divorce. I Was a child of divroce I understand a lot of things happened before that. And a few months back he had told me that he was well on the way and that they had talked about it. So I said it out loud and asked him to confirm and repeat me, Patrick, you are going to divorce your wife next year.

Yes Shannon I want to.

No Patrick want isn’t what I said. Im in this for you not to be the other woman,

Shannon, I am going to divorce my wife next year.

Well Shit, I guess we can talk as long as that is truly the case.

He stood and started dancing. He was smiling so big.

So we are back together? Yea, Well I Love you.

I love you too, I said. Ugh I can’t believe this. He showed himself in the mirror dancing all over the room, He was stuck in his room for the next 7 days. I was so excited to be able to talk this through with im for a bit. It was mid September, and he was gonna be back in La around beginning of November so I could probably see him then, We talked about that too.

I got off the phone and still felt really werid and talking to him again. TYPING THIS IM GETTING A PIT IN MY STOMACH . I was excited to have someone to talk to but I still couldn’t get all the thoughts from before out of my head when he wasn’t talking to me. When I found out he was on an anniversary trip while he was gone. Getting his cake and eating it too.

The next two days were like normal he even sent me the cutest photo of smoking out of the gift I got him. The Puffco peak, he was shirtless it was absolutely amazing. It made me feel more at home with talking to him and then he went silent again.

It was like I expected it but he was actually locked up in a hotel room in Hawaii before shooting some terrible MTV reality tv shows where they all get to fuck each other during this crazy COVID ness. But I thought I should give him some space.  

Finally I called me Sunday and he answered. Ohh Shit, He was out of his room and working, Call you later babe. Alright call you soon. It was excalty a month after he has seen me before and a year after he left me in LA ohh shit.what memories that brought up.

I didn’t hear from him till a few days later. I honestly had given up thinking of reason. It was a Monday.

Good New Bad news, Im gonna be a dad a again

WOW.

I know you didn’t want to hear this, I am so sorry Shannon, I never want to lie to you and I just found out and I couldn’t keep it from You,

Well I am glad you didn’t keep it form me, But Patrick, I am done, I can’t do this anymore,

I wish I was you.

I am heartbroken,

please don’t hate me

I can’t hate you but what I am just susposed to say my married boyfriend got his wife pregnant no big deal.

No, it isn’t okay, IM so sorry.

I blocked him two days later and realized so much that I said before I was a lie, I did fucking hate him, because all he did was lie to me, If he got his wife pregnant that everything he every said to me was a lie, You aren’t gonna get divorce next year, you aren’t going to ever sleep next to me for more two nights in a row. You will never say I love you to my face again.

I couldn’t decide what type of fish he was, if he was a selfish, Careless or reckless. I was so thankful, I couldn’t. It exactly two months after he came and saw me and I blocked his and his wives Instagram from all mine. She just announced her pregnancy. She has been pregnant since the beginning of July, You know what that means that is before he even emailed me about how he couldn’t stop thinking about me and needed me in his life, before he even came and saw me in Colorado for our romantic vacation. What the Fuck, did he know before how couldn’t he, the whole situation is the most fucked and im so glad to be out of it. But as I write this my throat get dry and started to hurt, my eyes well with tears. Because I really loved him, A lot I’ved never been more vulnerable with someone, I’ve never had a man say I love you first or even really I love you as freely as he did to me, Maybe that was the reckless part, I’ve never had a man tell me how beautiful I was and talked to me every day for a year caring or myself that was the carless part.

The Selfish part was both of us. It was me forgetting everything I stand for after I heard a few sweet nothing and a whole lot of lies, He was him bring me along for a ride he knew he was going to jump off at the most convenient time for him. He told me I at least give him that. But fuck he sure didn’t tell me the rest of the lies.

The pit has moved to my heart and I guess I gotta say goodbye finally to the man who became y muse, when you broke me I built up a creative way to let out those emotions, it made me feel confident to write again. As tears fall down my face im thanful for your kind words during a time when I needed them and sometimes you kind hands even thought there was nothing but lies allowing them their. I am ungrateful for the distrust you have given me in Men in General, when someone is texting you from a happy marriage or from the road, it makes you not believe anything you see, read or hear. Everyone has secrets and honestly im glad to air mine out finally. I was dooped and stay wayyyyyyyyy too long and wrote a few too many peoms about a man who did just that, Jump off the roller coaster or couldn’t pull out to save his god damn life, I guess everyone loves a cream pie, Well I am learning to make the best pies this side of the Mississippi and PATRICK Aint ever gonna get this pie again 

[aion-rsa]

Bruce Lee Forever! Shannon Lee Reflects on Her Father’s Legacy

https://ift.tt/3nm3pcn

Bruce Lee stands among the greatest icons on the planet. But such notoriety comes with a price and it’s one that Bruce pays more heavily than any other celebrity. He’s also the most ripped off. Brucesploitation is an entire genre of film dedicated to Bruce Lee impersonators. Bruce Lee clones proliferate fighting video games more than any other person, real or imagined. His image has been poached illegally for all sorts of random things like for Zhen Kungfu, a major Chinese fast food franchise with some 300 restaurants, all of which use his likeness without permission. No one else can claim this level of image piracy.

For years, Shannon Lee has fought hard to guard the family name and see that her dad receives the respect he is due. Now at the helm of the Bruce Lee Family Company, Shannon continues to champion her father’s work, dedicating herself to preserving his message of harmonious individuality and curtail those who would steal his image for their own gain. She has dedicated herself to bringing the real Bruce Lee to the world. 

As we approach Bruce Lee’s 80th birthday this November, the Little Dragon remains as hot as ever. The Bruce-Lee-inspired Cinemax series Warrior has kicked off its second season. On October 6th, Shannon releases a new book, Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee. And there’s more coming in November in celebration of her father’s auspicious birthday. Den of Geek caught up to Shannon Lee to talk about where the Bruce Lee estate is now. 

Den of Geek: Warrior is based on the treatment that your father did that was allegedly turned into David Carradine’s Kung Fu series?

Shannon Lee: Well, I guess that’s a matter of some debate.

Yeah. Which is why I’m asking you this.

Yeah. My father was definitely up for the lead in Kung Fu, and he was definitely not given that role because he was Chinese interestingly. And at the same time, he had also developed and pitched this show. Warner Bros.’ point of view is that they had been working on a show – their show – for a long time prior to involving my father. And if you speak to my mother, she will say that my father was working on this treatment for a number of years before he pitched it as well.

So the two shows are very similar in some ways and very different in some ways. What we do know is that my father was turned down to star in the show and we have no idea how much his ideas influenced the ultimate vision for Kung Fu. 

Very diplomatic answer. One thing that’s continually impressed me about your father was how incredibly prolific he was. Even today, and I remember when he passed, I still see new material from him. Did he have any other show ideas that you might have kicking around?

Most definitely.

Oh, that’s very intriguing.

Yes. So he did have a number of other treatments in various states of readiness and even one full script that I still have, and that I am working on developing, in different ways.

That’s incredibly exciting. How close do you feel that Warrior is to your father’s original vision of it?

I think it’s actually very close, in the sense that I think that the show captures the perspective that he was hoping to capture. Meaning, his treatment was written more as 1970s episodic television; it was more of an adventure of the week format, which shows were back then…I think he would be really pleased with how the show turned out today, because I think we have more of an opportunity to tell the story that he would have wanted to tell, than he would have had back then.

What can fans expect from Season 2? 

We have the warring Tongs. We have the political goings on and plotting. We have the Irish labor workers really coming into more conflict with the Chinese workers. We have the cops on all sides of this as well, really coming up against the Chinese. So it’s very complicated and the weaving of the story is really brilliant and the stakes are really high. And you’ll see what happens.

As an immigrant tale, how do you feel this is playing out given the current politics surrounding immigration right now?

It’s crazy how relevant our show is. I think that its issue’s not just of immigration, but also of racism, of the involvement of the police, of xenophobia, of ‘us versus them’ mentality. There’s a lot of themes in the show and, quite frankly, where the show culminates toward the end of the season is very reflective of where we find ourselves right now, which is interesting since we filmed it last year.

But I think that it’s because this is the natural outcome of these types of policies and attitudes toward our fellow humans. And also what happened historically, so history is rather repeating itself.

How does it feel to be working on this show with a predominantly Asian cast?

It’s phenomenal. I know that there are a number of shows that, especially in the half-hour genre, that have Asian casts, but in the one-hour television format, there really aren’t that many. Even shows like Into the Badlands who have Asian characters, they’re not necessarily predominantly Asian characters.

So I feel really proud of our show that we got to make the show we wanted, that we got to create these multi-layered, complicated three-dimensional characters for all our cast. And I think that it’s actually a huge win for representation.

You used to have a pretty wicked spinning back kick. Are you still practicing?

[laughs] Not as much as I used to. Every now and again, I get back to it. It’s been a little harder in quarantine, not because I’m not able to exercise on my own. Certainly I am, but I’m much more used to working with others in the space. So I would say I’m a little rusty right now.

I think we all are during the pandemic. I could totally see you doing a cameo in Warrior like a singer at Ah Toy’s place or something. Are you thinking about that?

We definitely talked about it for Season 2. Just by the time we were talking about it, the season was already written and there didn’t seem to be the perfect and right feeling opportunity to do something like that.

Right now, Season 3 is a little uncertain. There are not plans to move forward, just given that Cinemax has canceled their programming and their original programming… If there are, then I will definitely look to try and sneak on set for part of that.

Do you ever think about going back into acting?

I don’t think about it as a career. I think if there were opportunities, if the right opportunity came along, I think it would be a lot of fun. I would definitely have, from a creative standpoint, an interest in doing that for myself, but not as a career.

You have a book coming out the same week that Warrior drops. Tell us about Be Water, My Friend.

I wrote this book, over the last year or so, and it is called Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee. It is a book about my father’s water philosophy, what it means, and what it meant to him, what it means to me, and also how it can be accessed and utilized by the reader.

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And, for me, it was a really personal, internal journey to write this book, to really sit with my father’s words and to really try and express in as simple and in as simple and clear a way as I could, what this is and to provide it as a tool for the reader to utilize, or even just something to think about for themselves.

I find my father’s words to be extremely soothing and extremely healing and extremely thought provoking. And my hope is that people will pick up this book, regardless of whether they’re into martial arts or whether they’ve recently had, because it’s really for everyone. It just really speaks to this human journey that we are all on. And I hope that people will find something beneficial for them in it.

I really admire what you’ve been doing with the Bruce Lee Family Company. Your dad has been the most ripped-off icon of all. Nobody has an entire film genre like Bruceploitation that’s dedicated to him. What are some of the battles you’re fighting trying to control his image? 

Yeah. Look, it’s always a challenge. It’s really hard to know what the best course of action is. I’m certainly very protective of him and his legacy. And at the same time, I try not to be unreasonable or overly difficult, but I really do think he requires respect. And that’s really what I’m asking for most of the time.

If somebody can show up and have a honest conversation with me and be open minded and listen to me, then I will always give them the same in return. It is really hard. The laws are different in all different places and it’s really challenging because it’s on a global level and you got to pick your battles and you only have so many resources to put towards these different types of things.

But I really feel like when I’m asked to speak up about, and give my opinion on something, I definitely will and do. And when it seems like a fight worth fighting, then I have no problems with that. I’m willing to stand up for myself and my family. And it doesn’t mean I’ll always win, but for me, it’s not about winning. It’s about doing what I feel is appropriate and right.

The CW reboot of Kung Fu is getting some buzz again, which feels as if it is in the wake of Warrior now. That’s ironically recursive given the unusual relationship that Bruce Lee’s treatment had and what we spoke about, when we first started this conversation. They’re putting out that it’s going to be all female leads, and that Asian community is reclaiming this property, but who knows? What are your thoughts on that?

Listen, I’m not in competition with anyone. I’m trying to put forth the best projects that I could put forth. And I never want to be in a place of wishing someone to not do well or be well. Right?

I don’t know anything about that show other than its existence and exactly what you just said. I haven’t read any scripts. So it’s really hard for me to say what it is. I don’t even know. And look, it’s hard to get a show made. I think that whatever happens with the show, I know these things are always a labor of love and or just a labor. So either way, it’s hard enough. And I just really couldn’t comment because I really don’t know, but I certainly never wish anyone any ill will.

That’s fair. What does your mom think of Warrior?

Oh, she loves it. She really loves it. She really is like, “Oh, I think your dad would love this show. I think you really did your dad proud.” My mom was married to Bruce Lee, so she’s no shrinking violet when it comes to action. She just thinks the show is great and a lot of fun. She’s really impressed with Andrew Koji and with the whole cast, and she just thinks it really captured the right energy and the right spirit.

What’s next for the Bruce Lee Family Company? 

Oh, my gosh. So much. We’re really excited. In November, we’re going to be celebrating my dad’s 80th. How crazy is that? Eighty years of Bruce Lee in the world. And so we have a lot of celebrations planned, mostly virtual and online and through our store, and on social media and those types of things.

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We were hoping to be able to do some kind of bigger events, but of course, with the current state of the world, we’re changing it up a little bit, and our timelines have been a little delayed on some of the bigger things that we’re working on, but we will be having some interesting announcements and fun drops and things that’ll be available in November. And so I’m super excited to celebrate that. I’ve got a number of other film and TV projects in the works, which hopefully I’ll be able to announce soon.

We’ve got a bunch of exhibits that we’re working on with different museums around the world, revamping the exhibit in Hong Kong and in Seattle but also other places. We have our social initiatives we’re doing through the foundation. We’re about to launch and revamp that website to have some different social initiatives that we’ll be promoting as well as our camps for kids that we do. And the exhibits that we’re doing, and we’re working on a permanent exhibition space as well for my father. So there’s no shortage of things going on. And we’re all really excited to share what we can do with the world.

That’s great timing because it will still be in the rollout of Warrior Season 2. You’ve got the show, the book, and the celebration, so we’re looking at a Fall season of Bruce Lee.

Yeah. And we have a new season of the Bruce Lee podcast. That’ll be dropping in October also.

Has Warrior met up to your expectations in terms of what you envisioned when you first embarked on this?

Absolutely. I would say it met it, and it exceeded it. Obviously, in small details, sometimes there are things you’re, like, “Oh, I wish we could have done this differently or that differently.” But those things are nothing in comparison to the full force of the project, the scope, the storytelling, the cast that we have, the crew that we have, the writing that we have. I really couldn’t be happier.

Look, I think there are always places to go and things to be improved. Nothing is ever perfect, but I think that it’s as good a show as I could have hoped for. I’m so thrilled because I think it captures my father’s spirit and his energy without being like a copycat of him in any way. I think it tells his story. I think it’s entertaining. I think it’s got awesome action. I think it’s got amazing characters with storylines. I think it’s dramatic. I think it’s very binge worthy. It’s like one of those shows where you’re like, “Oh my God, what’s going to happen next.” You know?

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Warrior Season 2 can be seen exclusively on CINEMAX. Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee is available wherever fine books are sold. For more on Shannon’s work and the Bruce Lee Family Company, visit BruceLee.com.

The post Bruce Lee Forever! Shannon Lee Reflects on Her Father’s Legacy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[homeplanetreviews]

The Shape of Water (2017) Movie Review by: Will Whalen

The Shape of Water has finally come and is brought to us by the mastermind visionary director, Guillermo del Toro. This has been in my top 3 most anticipated films of the year ever since I heard about it. Guillermo del Toro has made some incredible films and has such a unique style and vision that I adore so, of course I was pumped for this.

The Shape of Water stars Sally Hawkins, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins and Octavia Spencer and is about a mute cleaning lady who works at a research facility in the 1960’s that forms a relationship with an aquatic creature. Sounds pretty strange, huh?

As soon as this film opens up to one of the most beautiful scores I have heard and the great opening shot, I was instantly transfixed. Glued to my chair and thinking about what I was seeing. I felt like that from the very start and didn’t stop feeling like that till the very end. We’re shown a character that is, without a doubt, my favorite character to any other movie this year. It shows her and her daily routine before she goes to work and every little movement and action that is done by her, was so beautiful to me. It was like an intricate dance with every movement. The performance of the year is brought to us by Sally Hawkins, who plays a mute woman named Elisa, and she is enthralling here. She is the princess without voice and is the center of this film. Even without saying a single word, she speaks volumes louder than any other performance this year. She is so incredibly phenomenal and without her, this film wouldn’t be near as good. Well, maybe it might be but not near as great as it is. I hope to see her take home all the awards because she deserves it. A favorite actor of mine is in this movie and is probably one of my most hated characters of anything I’ve ever seen. Michael Shannon is a fucking force of the most evil there is. I have never hated a performance and also loved it so incredibly much. He is the true monster of this film and it’s so maddening to see him be so evil here but it also put a smile on my face because this is such a great villain. There’s times where my nails are dug into my fist because of the anger he caused me and will cause to audiences. This character was written so perfectly (as everything and everyone in this is) and is given such menacing and despicable dialogue, which just adds to the evil greatness. What this film also has that was so great and refreshing were the supporting roles here. Both supporting roles from Richard Jenkins and Octavia Spencer, were absolutely fantastic and superb. Both of these characters play a role in Elisa’s life and I loved every second that we get to spend with both of these characters. Richard Jenkins is her neighbor where she lives and he’s a sort of old and broken man that Elisa takes care of and is a friend of. Seeing these two characters communicate was something really special and like every other moment of this film, were some of my favorite scenes. Octavia Spencer however, is her friend at work and they’re typically always together cleaning while Octavia Spencer’s character talks about her problems at home. She’s also hilarious here and brings this film some comedic relief and a much needed layer. While Sally Hawkins is completely silent, except for the use of Sign Language, Spencer carries the scenes they share together and was delightful.

Now, I’m gonna talk just a little about the main plot of the film and that’s the relationship between Elisa and this Aquatic creature that is brought into this research facility. The relationship that is formed here is so entrancing and beautiful that it blew me away. The aquatic creature is also quite adorable in a way and seeing him on screen at times just warmed my heart. That being said, Sally Hawkins never loses the spotlight. Every scene they share, you’re just so fascinated by the creature and to learn more about it but you’re equally as fascinated with Hawkins. Which, floors me that a film like this is even made and can do something so profound like that.

If you don’t know much about this film, keep it that way as much as possible. I had seen the first trailer once before seeing this and that was it. I wanted to keep it that way because I heard the second trailer that was released gives away the entire film. So, that’s all I’ll say about that because you should witness this phenomenon yourself and going in knowing little to nothing at all.

Guillermo del Toro is infamous for his visionary style and how weird the films he makes are. The Shape of Water is dripping with Toro’s style and vision and I loved every second of it. He wrote and directed this film and has made one of my favorites of the year and one of the best movies I have ever seen. I’m not just saying that because I really loved this film but because it genuinely is one of the most cinematically enthralling and beautiful films I have ever seen. On every level, it exceeds anything else I’ve seen this year. The writing and direction from del Toro is superb. His direction in this film is absolutely perfect and each scene and each frame had me transfixed and in awe. Not to mention the absolutely hypnotic cinematography here. The DP Dan Laustsen makes this film pop with that del Toro style and makes the time period of the 60’s look like the most beautiful place to be even in such a dark film. Toro’s story is an absolutely brilliant one and the screenplay written by him and Vanessa Taylor is wonderful. The dialogue in this film is so well done and written to perfection. Where this story goes, was not one I expected. What this movie does, it feels like the film is nearly over and you realize there’s still an hour left. That being said, it never loses a beat and is still as beautiful, delightful, tense and perfect till the very last shot.

During the final 15 minutes of this film, no spoilers of course, I had my nails digging into my fists and tears just rolling down my face. My heart was beating through my chest and I couldn’t even breathe until that final shot. When I see a film this powerful, that happens to me but this time, it was different and more intense. This was one of those films that kept me in my seat while the credits were rolling while trying to get myself together and not full on cry. That feeling stuck with me for the rest of the day and I could not get over it and I honestly didn’t want to.

Look, The Shape of Water is an absolute masterpiece. If it weren’t for The Last Jedi coming out, I would honestly not even want to see anything else for the rest of the year. This is s beautiful, heart wrenching, gorgeous and jaw dropping film that floored me into the sea. This is without a doubt the best Guillermo del Toro film yet and might always be his best. I had the privilege to see this earlier this week in Atlanta. Where I live, we don’t have it yet but it opens everywhere the 22nd and if you can see this, please do. This is one of those rare films that just gives you that cinematic epic feeling in every way. Don’t let this fly under the radar with Star Wars coming out and everything else. See The Shape of Water. I didn’t think anything would be able to take the spot of my number one of the year after Blade Runner 2049 but, this sure as hell did exactly that.

I’m going to give The Shape of Water…

5 out of 5 stars!

[pitubea1910]

“What I hate the most...”

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Featuring: the Avengers

Words: 2618

Warning: angst, fights, alcohol and swearing.

Tags: @vashanatasha

Request: requested by Anonymous:

“Can i pls request a steve rogers/avenger!reader where he fell out of love with reader as he currently is in love with someone else so he broke up with her? the avengers had no idea what to do, cant exactly side with one of u as ur both avengers. Upset n drunk, during one of the stark party, reader make a scene as she watch him dancing with the other girl. Left afterward, not in her right mind, one of the avengers goes after her to take care of her. Which one is up to u. Thanks.”

Notes: so it had been ages since I wrote something with the Avengers and I still have some requests about them to do so here it goes! I want to say sorry for taking so long really but I hope you like it!

MASTERLIST

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Your relationship seemed perfect. You loved Steve and he acted like he loved you. Apparently, that was it. An act. You didn’t even know how this happened. One day you were planning your next holidays and the next one he was breaking up with you claiming he loved someone else.

“Are you serious?” You asked him as he broke the news to you.

“I’m really sorry (Y/N), I never meant to hurt you, I swear. It just…happened” he said looking down at you with a worried look on his face.

“Have you…been with her?” You asked in a whisper.

He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he looked down, not being able to look into your eyes any longer, feeling guilty for what he had done. But he couldn’t keep on doing this. He knew it would break your heart, which you didn’t deserve, but you didn’t deserve to be cheated on either. So he had to be honest with you and with himself.

“You have” you laughed sadly and looked away, tears coming up to your eyes.

“I’m sorry” he said again.

“If it wasn’t because of your fucking serum I swear I would take your eyes off and kill you Steve” you said looking at him with cold eyes, like you had never looked at him before. “I would throw you out of the window, down the tower and I wouldn’t even be sorry for your death” you added.

You knew those were empty words. It didn’t matter how much he hurt you, you knew you would never be able to do such things to him. You had been training by Natasha so you knew you could be lethal but not to him. Not to Steve Rogers, not even after he broke your heart.

“(Y/N)…” he said taking a step towards you but you took another one back.

“Don’t” you said. “Don’t ever say my name again, Rogers. Don’t ever look at me or…” you sighed and looked down. “I hate you” you whispered before turning around to leave the room.

You didn’t expect to see Tony and Natasha right there, listening to every word you said but you didn’t even care. You walked by their side and went to your room, locking it before punching the wall as hard as you could until your hand hurt.

“That was harsh” Tony told Steve downstairs.

“It had to be done” Steve said taking a seat on the couch with his head in his hands. “I couldn’t keep on lying to her. She didn’t deserve it” he added.

“No, she didn’t” Natasha said with a sigh. “But it’s done. There’s nothing you can do now”, she added.

“I know” Steve gulped.

The first few days after the break up you barely left the room. You just did it to go to the meetings and to take care of the Avengers stuff that you had to do, but once you were finished, you locked yourself in your room. The team tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t talk to anyone so they decided to give you time to heal.

Eventually, you finally came out of your room and joined the team daily activities. The team was happy to see you talking and eating like a normal person again but everything changed when you and Steve crossed paths. He tried to talk to you but all you did was replying with sarcasm or mean remarks. Nobody expected you to be over what happened but your anger wasn’t expected either.

“What do we do?” Wanda asked in a meeting. You were supposed to go to France to help the government with some attacks that had been going on but you didn’t know how to proceed.

“We need someone on the inside to make them believe we can be trusted and they let us now their intentions” Steve said.

“Sounds good” Tony said nodding. “A mole is always helpful but who’s going to do it? These guys are dangerous” he added.

“Rogers should do it. He’s good going behind people back” you said. Steve looked at you as the awkward silent appeared.  

“Will you stop?” He said, obviously having enough of your daily comments.

“Should I?” You said looking at him.

“Yes, you should be professional” he replied.

“Sorry, Mr Perfect, I didn’t mean to take your place and hurt your feelings” you said sarcastic.

Everyone else was quiet, knowing they couldn’t exactly side with any one of you since it would be even worse for the situation. It was something you two had to solve by yourselves.

“Steve can’t do it. His face is too known” Bruce finally said to end the fight before it heated up. “What about Wanda?” He asked.

“I can do it” she shrugged.

“It’s settled then” Tony smiled.

“Good” you said getting up and leaving the room.

The mission was successful as usual even though the communication was a bit harder this time. By the time you got to New York again things didn’t change, not even a bit. The fights between you and Steve were stronger and stronger every day. Eventually, the situation calmed down. You looked like you were forgetting about everything or at least letting it go which everyone in the team thanked you for. Still, you wouldn’t even look at Steve.

“Team!” Tony said coming into the living room. “Party tonight!”

“What?” Peter asked.

“What for?” Clint asked.

“My birthday of course” Tony smirked.

“Your birthday was two months ago” You laughed. “And the party was huge. I think Clint is still hangover about it” you smirked.

“Shut up” Clint laughed.

“So what? I want to celebrate again” Tony shrugged.

“Are you just looking for an excuse to throw a party?” Bruce asked raining an eyebrow.

“Maybe” he shrugged. “You’re all invited of course and you can bring any friends you want” he added before leaving the room. Just Tony.

None of you refused to go. It had been ages since you had a night of fun and you all needed the distraction, the music and the booze. So at 6 p.m. Natasha, Wanda and you locked yourselves in Wanda’s room to get ready. None of you were seeing anyone so you decided you would be sexiest chicks in the room which, thanks to Nat’s outfits, it was an easy task.

“Isn’t it too slutty?” Wanda asked looking in the mirror.

“Sweetie, it’s been months since the last time you got laid. You need slutty” Natasha teased her making you laugh.

“Fuck you” Wanda laughed as well.

Even though you had started to get ready with plenty of time, you still were late to the party as usual but you didn’t care. No one would notice. The moment you stepped into the party you smiled looking around. Tony did know how to throw a party. Immediately, the three of you headed towards the bar to order some drinks and shots.

“Bucky you came!” You exclaimed surprise. The Winter Solder was still adjusting to this new life so he didn’t came to many parties.

“It was about time” he shrugged with a small smile.

“I’m glad you came” you said kissing his cheek.

You had always liked this guy. He was nice even when he didn’t talk much. You couldn’t blame him about it after the hell he had gone through but there he was, getting better day by day. On the other hand, it surprised you not to see Steve. He barely left his friend’s side, being the protector he was, so it surprised you that he wasn’t around.

“(Y/N)!” Natasha called your name. When you looked at her, you saw she was handing you a shot so you took it and poured down your throat. “Atta girl” she laughed.

“I needed that” you laughed as well.

The party went on and on for hours and Steve was still nowhere to be seen which it kind of worried you. Would he be okay? Your doubts disappeared when you were walking around the room and saw him walking down from his room with a blond girl hanging on his arm. Shannon.

He looked around just then and your eyes met his. It was her. You didn’t know until now but it was crystal clear. She was the girl that made your life miserable. With a gulp, you turned around and went to the bar once again. There, you saw Tony with a shot on his hand. Before he could drink, you took it from his hand and poured it down your throat before ordering another one.

“Wow, slow down” Tony laughed but you didn’t listen. In less than a minute you had two more shots. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Tony asked now worried.

“Nothing” you snapped as you ordered another one.

“(Y/N) slow down” Tony said taking the shot from your hand.

“Stark if you don’t give me that I swear I’ll break your arm here and now” you threatened him. He frowned looking at you before sighing and giving it back, watching you drinking it. “I saw her” you finally said. “Steve’s new girlfriend” you added.

“He brought her?” Tony asked and you nodded. “Bastard…” Tony mumbled looking around. It didn’t surprise him but he still couldn’t believe Steve would do that. When he looked back at you, you had another shot in your hand. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“You’re no one to tell me to stop, playboy” you snapped before ordering a drink and walking away with it. Tony watched you as he sighed worried.

“This is not good” he sighed.

You had never drank so much in one night but you couldn’t stop. It hurt so much seeing him dancing with her. You really thought you were over him? Stupid, you told yourself as you ordered what could be your 8th drink of the night. You knew you were completely drunk, you couldn’t even see properly, everything was a blur and the room was spinning. So what?

As you ordered another one, you looked to your side just to see Steve and that girl talking a few feet away from you. It had to be a joke.

“Really?” You said loud enough for them to hear you. Both of them, turned to look at you.

“Fuck…” Steve mouthed as he saw how drunk you were. “What are you doing?” He asked coming closer to you to stop you from drinking.

“No. What are you doing?” You asked pocking his chest with your finger. “Bringing her here? How you dare?” You frowned.

“You’re drunk” he sighed.

“Like you cared” you laughed.

“I do” he frowned.

“You don’t!” You snapped. “You never did! Otherwise you wouldn’t have cheated on me with that Barbie! All those nights saying how much you loved me… shame of you!” You screamed. Many people was now looking at the scene but you weren’t aware of it. “You’re a liar Steve Rogers. People may see you as a hero but you’re a bastard with no respect for others. Good luck for you Blondie!” You told Shannon. “I hate you Steve” you told him. “And you know what I hate the most? That I still love you” you said before walking away from him.

Everyone had watched the scene but no one said anything. The party just went on except for you. All you did was go to your room, falling a couple of times on the stairs but you finally managed to get to your floor, not even noticing your cheeks were full of tears. You were so focused on getting to your room that you didn’t even notice Bucky following you.

“Hey” he said when you leaned against a wall, not being able to walk anymore.

“Oh! The Winter Soldier” you drunkenly smiled at him. “Always a pleasure” you winked.

“You’re wasted” he said. Before you could say anything, he wrapped his arm under your legs and picked you up, carrying you to your room. “Why did you do this?” He asked when he placed you in your bed.

“Because I’m pathetic” you sadly laughed before you broke into tears. “Because he came with her, he cheated on me and he’s been happy ever since while I’ve been miserable and now he dares to come here and…” you closed your eyes and shook your head which was an awful idea. Everything was spinning. “I need to throw up” you mumbled.

“You need a cold shower” Bucky said picking you up again and quickly going to the bathroom. When he put you on the floor to start the shower, you leaned down on the toilet and started throwing up. “Shit!” He exclaimed, leaning down by your side, putting your hair away and rubbing your back. “It’s okay” he whispered.

“It’s not” you whispered shaking your head.

Bucky didn’t really know what to say to make you feel better. Feelings weren’t his thing so he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. When you had calmed down a little, you got up and let him help you out of the dress you were wearing.

“I’ll be outside, call my name if you need anything alright?” He said. You nodded and walked into the shower as he left the bathroom.

Bucky sat on the bed, looking at the bathroom door with a worried expression. He had been watching you the whole night, drink after drink, seeing you get wasted since the moment you saw Steve with Shannon. How could Steve bring her? Yes, Shannon was really nice but you weren’t ready for the image of the two of them together. When Bucky saw you talking to him, he knew it wasn’t going to end well so when he saw you walking up the stairs he didn’t hesitate to follow, leaving you alone not being an option.

After fifteen minutes the bathroom door opened and you came out, looking sad and tired, with puffy eyes and sadness in your eyes. It broke his heart. You had always been so nice to him since he arrived, even when Tony didn’t even want to look at him you had been there for him, supporting him all the time. It made him want to protect you, make you happy, especially after Steve broke your heart.

He looked at you while you put your pj on and sat on the bed next to him, with a lost expression on your face. Finally, you sighed and looked at Bucky.

“I’m pathetic right?” You asked, much sober now.

“No” he said immediately, grabbing your hand. “You’re hurt. That’s all” he shrugged. “I guess it will take time for you to heal” he added rubbing your hand.

“When I saw them…” you shook your head looking down.

“He shouldn’t have brought her” Bucky said. “Everyone knows you’re still not over him. It was disrespectful” he added. You frowned a little and looked at him.

“Isn’t he your best friend?” You asked.

“He is” Bucky shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I have to agree with him on everything. Being Captain America doesn’t make him perfect, you know?” You smiled a little and looked down at your hands together.

“Thank you Bucks” you finally said. He shrugged again with a small smile.

“It’s okay, I just want you to be okay” he said looking at you.

You looked at him into the eyes to find a warmth you hadn’t seen in a long time. It made you feel protected, like home, good. Maybe you weren’t happy at the moment, you actually had never felt worse, but somehow you knew that you would be able to feel happy again as long as Bucky was there.

[kadobeclothing]

Why Refusing to Discuss Failure Erodes a Culture of Growth

Have you ever sat in a meeting where a project was described as a success, yet all the details of failure that led to that success were left out? Alternatively, have you ever watched while data was cherry picked to make things seem rosier than they actually are? These are common embodiments of a very common, yet little known, phenomenon called “Success Theater”.

Success theater is, at its core, an informal operating system that says to employees: “you’re expected to win, and you should only discuss wins. Failures need not be exemplified.”

More concretely, success theater describes “the efforts that we make to make things look good, even if actual performance isn’t good or getting better.” Ultimately, it is an avoidance of data that conflicts with your opinions. It’s a fear of confronting failure or uncomfortable conversations and reflection. I like this definition (and the whole article) from John Cutler: “Success Theater is celebrating hitting the quarterly goal without acknowledging the corners you had to cut and the people who will have to clean up the mess. It’s listening to someone rattle off vanity metrics. And it’s being told you’re not a team player for having some doubts about a recent ‘win.’ … And it’s rampant in our internal meetings, blog posts, and presentations.” Success theater is … exactly what it sounds like it would be. Of course, in the real world, failure is going to happen. In fact, it needs to happen in order to succeed. Tons of value can come from documenting and sharing lessons from failed campaigns. Survivorship bias can warp the expectations of both leaders and new team members, and digging up your ‘graveyard of knowledge’ can help elicit new ideas and insights that could contribute to major breakthroughs in marketing and optimization. In general, it’s best we confront failure honestly, instead of hiding from it.

The Ruinous Path of Success Theater: GE’s Horror Story One of the most popular stories about success theater is a Wall Street Journal piece on General Electric. According to the story, former CEO Jeffrey Immelt was constantly optimistic in the face of future projections. In addition to his optimism and “can-do attitude,” he and his fellow top deputies also shielded themselves from any bad news or data that contradicted that narrative. Unfortunately, the results were catastrophic:

By 2018, the stock price had dropped by roughly 44%. In the same year, they announced they would cut their annual dividend for only the second time in their 125-year history. They also announced they were taking a $6.2 billion charge in their fourth quarter related to their insurance operations and needed to set aside $15 billion over seven years to bolster insurance reserves at the GE Capital unit. Finally, they had to restate their earnings for 2017 and 2016, and the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) began investigating them for these accounting issues. Identifying and Diagnosing Success Theater GE is an extreme example of Success Theater starting at the top and trickling down, eventually taking over the company. But smaller and subtler versions of it could happen at your company. Liane Davey outlined some signs to look out for: Everything is an opportunity (If your organization finds creative ways to describe issues to obscure the real issues, worry) Every plan is a hockey stick (If your company is always predicting that next year will be the year it all comes together, you’ve got a problem) You hit the number at any cost (You know you’ve got a problem when you start taking short-term gains that create long-term pain) You shoot the messenger (If the harbingers of trouble can no longer be heard, you have a problem) Additionally, I’ve found a simpler sign — if you notice data cherry-picking and storytelling frequently (and on purpose), that’s a strong symptom of underlying success theater. Success theater can also show up in our industry-wide narratives. You can see it in the constant flurry of 315% conversion uplift case studies shared on Twitter, and at the top of GrowthHackers (and also, of course, in the glorious rise and tremendous fall of WeWork). How to Combat Success Theater There’s no silver-bullet solution to avoid success theater, and it will probably always exist to some degree. We just want to curb it to the point where it doesn’t poison productivity. I talked to several growth leaders and also wrote down my own favorite ways of combating success theater, which I’ll share now. 1. Write About and Share Failed Experiments Our team at HubSpot places a huge value on learning, and not just on reporting our wins week-over-week.

We keep a weekly calendar spot to write down our learnings for the week. We talk about those insights during Monday meetings. We’re all encouraged to write internal posts about failed campaigns — or even mediocre campaigns. We don’t want to build a graveyard of knowledge where we’re only writing about the big winners and seeking applause. We also have a company-wide Failure Forum where we share our failures and celebrate the risks we take on the path to innovation. When Joanna Lord was at Porch, she talked about a ritual they developed at the company involving a pink fuzzy animal named Mr. Sparkles. Whoever failed the biggest each week would get Mr. Sparkles. As she put it: “You put him on your desk and it’s like this badge of honor that you like did something so bold that you literally messed up the site badly. And you know what I love? You see my CEO walk around the room and he’s high-fiving the Mr. Sparkles owner. And people are like, ‘What did you do? What did you do to get Mr. Sparkles?’ But the reality is we’ve made it a positive thing. We’ve made it a badge of honor. You are living out the Porch-y way in being bold. What can you do in your culture to make it fun and acceptable? And almost, you know, become famous for it.” In a broader industry-wide context, blogger and marketing consultant, Ryan Robinson, has long been an advocate of transparently sharing the behind-the-scenes stories of his own business failures with the readers of his blog: “I’ve launched several businesses over the past decade, and most of them have landed somewhere between mixed results and utter failure. I go out of my way to highlight those experiences in long-form stories to the readers on my blog, because it’s important to illustrate that the path to achieving meaningful results will be filled with missteps and lessons to be learned along the way. My failure-related articles are consistently the most popular with my readers.” 2. Be Careful With Case Studies I’ve ranted about CRO case studies a ton by this point, so it’s suffice to say I don’t trust most of them. Even if the data is accurate and you’re not reading about a blatant false positive on a sample size of 14, you’re likely looking at a PR piece that is almost certainly subject to Survivorship Bias.

Very few companies and thought leaders are incentivized to write about their failures and inconclusive experiments, so you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg. Sure, you can absolutely get some inspiration from case studies. But don’t look around in exasperation and think that everyone’s winning except you. It’s all an Instagram-esque illusion. 3. Embrace Transparency Shannon Callarman, a Content Marketing Specialist at ShipBob, told me about a cool ritual they’ve developed at her company to share candid feedback and ask probing questions: “Every month, ShipBob’s leadership team leads a forum called ‘Ask Me Anything’ that allows employees to ask candid questions about the growth of the business and internal operations, and they’ll get an honest answer.” When leaders embrace uncomfortable conversations and open themselves to feedback and questions, it shows the rest of the organization that it’s alright to do the same. Along the same lines, I find it worthwhile to explicitly outline and publicly post your team and company values. This helps create both an explicit and implicit operating system where your employees and leaders are encouraged to embrace your values (in this case, honesty and transparency). A great example of this is this post from BounceX’s CEO, Ryan Urban. 4. Embrace Being ‘Wrong’ In Ronny Kovahi’s talk at CXL Live a few years ago, he brought up a great point on A/B test results: the best case scenario is when you test something you thought was ‘meh’, and it wins. If you thought it was going to win, however, and it wins, you haven’t learned much. Value in experiments comes when the “absolute value of delta between expected outcome and actual outcome is large.” Yes, being wrong is the best possible thing that can happen to you when you run A/B tests! This is also the strategic basis for Andrew Anderson’s Discipline Based Testing Methodology — test a wide variety of options, some of which might be totally radical, and let the winner surprise you (you’d never expect Comic Sans to win a font test, right?). Celebrate being wrong and learning new things. 5. Hug the Messenger When leaders expect only good news, those who bring up problems or constructive feedback are looked upon unfavorably. In companies like this, the messenger is ritualistically shot. A better way to act is to embrace those who are brave enough to ask interesting questions and point out possible flaws in the data. Nigel Stevens, founder of Organic Growth Marketing, encourages an embrace of failure internally and externally:

“Whenever I only hear of ‘wins’ for a while, I start to get nervous. Because that tells me we’re not proactively sharing — and learning from — the things that don’t work.”

  Stevens adds, “Fortunately, we’ve developed a very healthy culture of saying ‘hey, this completely flopped, and now I’m sharing it with others so you all know.'” 6. Lower the Cost of Failure (and Experimentation) One of the most impactful things you can do within an organization, especially if you’re working on growth or conversion optimization, is to lower the cost of failure. A/B testing does this by nature — you can only lose as much as your losing variant lost during the course of the test. However, you can further decrease the cost of failure by making it easier and cheaper for everyone to set up and run trustworthy experiments. After enough optimization, the big and easy wins stop coming so frequently, so growth looks a lot like this:

This is, of course, a riff on Nassim Taleb’s ideas on optionality — he uses a chart similar to the above to describe trial-and-error tinkering and how it leads to stark innovation. Simply put, it’s impossible to achieve any degree of outstanding innovation without a tremendous amount of tinkering. The more at-bats you allow, the more optionality/luck/upside you can generally collect. Content marketing blogger and expert Levi Olmstead mentioned this attitude (fail fast) being key in previous startups he worked at: “A core value we often repeated was ‘fail quickly and continuously, iterate quickly and continuously.’ Without failing, you can never learn from past mistakes. In my experience, many ideas have strong pillars but they’re not full-fledged ideas. To create a strong, sustainable strategy, you need to learn how to fail and how to turn those lessons into future successes.” Making experiments cheaper and easier to run isn’t an easy feat, but luckily there’s a lot of material out there on the subject (I’d start with this paper from the booking.com team). 7. Invest in Trustworthy Data Data attribution modeling is still a large digital marketing challenge today. With different data models like first-touch attribution, last-touch, multi-touch, and others, teams need to choose one and stick with it. Adam Enfroy, who runs the popular marketing blog AdamEnfroy.com, witnessed this data challenge firsthand while managing digital teams for different SaaS companies, including BigCommerce: “Success theater often runs rampant in companies when teams aren’t aligned on which data platform is the final source of truth. This leads to different teams reporting on conflicting data sources that drive the (often misleading) narrative they want to tell.” Let’s take a weekly business review meeting as an example. Consider this — the digital marketing team pulls from Analytics Platform A because the ROI looks favorable with last-click attribution. At the same time, the business intelligence team pulls from Analytics Platform B, which doesn’t look as good but is more aligned with finance. Then the partner team pulls from a different data source entirely so they can take credit for more revenue. In the end, this leaves confused executives looking at three different data sources — and listening to three different stories — while no actionable insights can be gleaned. To avoid success theater, invest in trustworthy data and align teams on which platform is the ultimate source of truth. This involves strong alignment between BI, marketing, sales, and partner teams. Additionally, seek to stress test and constantly monitor the veracity of your data. As my friend Chris Mercer always stresses, “trust, but verify.” 8. Invest in Education Old joke … CFO asks CEO: “What happens if we invest in developing our people and they leave us?” CEO: “What happens if we don’t, and they stay?” This is true of any business function, but I find it particularly true in more technical fields like growth, conversion optimization, and SEO. There many ways to do this — invest in a library for your office, start a company book club, send your team to conferences, pay for training programs like CXL Institute or Reforge. HubSpot invests a ton in education and I always feel supported in learning new things (currently taking a course on Python and machine learning from Udacity). Small companies can do this, too, though (in fact, they need to). Ben Johnson, Head of Content at Proof, has seen the impact of this mentality at his SaaS company: “We’re a small team of 15, so a lot of time, you’re not going to be able to learn how to do something from someone in-house. For that reason, we’re always reading, meeting with more experienced individuals, and using our naivety as a strategic advantage.” Johnson adds, “Our leadership is great about encouraging this growth mentality across the organization — making introductions, providing funding for marketing conferences and programs like Reforge, and paying for a book per month. Overall, I think creating a culture of curiosity and helping your employees get the resources they need is a key part of building a growth culture.” 9. Diagnose Narrative Fallacy Storytelling is natural to humans, but it can also dilute efficiency and decision making. The Narrative Fallacy, popularized by Nassim Taleb, describes our tendency to ascribe a clean causal “why” to something that happened in order to simplify our understanding of the world. For example, if you A/B test two headlines against each other, you may determine that version B won “because it invoked social proof”, while someone else may attribute the win to “the clarity of new message”. A good way to transform your culture is to try to curb storytelling where you can, because while the narrative fallacy is limiting when ascribed to wins, it’s detrimental when people try to explain away suboptimal campaigns. Mark Lindquist, marketing strategist at Mailshake, mentioned one version of this is when people move the goalpost of what they define as “success” after the campaign is run (technically, this is known as the Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy): “Consider an SEO who is brought into an organization to grow top-of-the-funnel leads. 18 months in, they’ve 50x’d organic traffic, but leads are only up 15%.” Lindquist continues: “A story you could tell yourself would be ‘well, this is great for our brand. We’re getting our name out there and we’re on our customer’s radars when they are ready to buy.’ That may be true, but it probably isn’t, and it certainly isn’t based on any data. Start your marketing campaigns with clear goals, and if you don’t reach those goals, don’t pat yourself on the back for accomplishing something you never set out to do in the first place. Be radically transparent with yourself and your team.” Ultimately, the purpose of experimentation is to encourage innovation and to mitigate risk, and in the process, most of your ideas are likely to fall flat of what they were intended to do. The best next step is to dust off and iterate and keep learning and trying. Success theater may feel good temporarily, but risks limiting the scope of the program. You should celebrate wins, but feel comfortable sharing failures, too.

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[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - Dark Signal

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Roger Charlie. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

About the Book

“Welcome to a world of danger, action, and complicated relationships. Shannon Baker has created a finely crafted mystery that moves to its powerful climax like the rush of an oncoming train. This book kept me reading too far into the night.” – Anne Hillerman, New York Times bestselling author

  Hardcover

$25.99 ISBN: 978-0765385475

  Digital Book

$12.99

ASIN: B06XWF4395

Mystery

Forge Books

October 17, 2017

Pages: 304

    Dark Signal by Shannon Baker is the second installment in the Kate Fox mystery series, called “A must read” by New York Times bestselling author Alex Kava, starring a female Longmire in the atmospheric Nebraska Sandhills.

  Reeling from her recent divorce, Kate Fox has just been sworn in as Grand County, Nebraska Sheriff when tragedy strikes. A railroad accident has left engineer Chad Mills dead, his conductor Bobby Jenkins in shock. Kate soon realizes that the accident was likely murder.

  Who would want to kill Chad Mills? Kate finds that he made a few enemies as president of the railroad workers union. Meanwhile his widow is behaving oddly. And why was his neighbor Josh Stevens at the Mills house on the night of the accident?

  While her loud and meddling family conspires to help Kate past her divorce, State Patrol Officer Trey closes in on Josh Stevens as the suspect. Kate doesn’t believe it. She may not have the experience, but she’s lived in the Sandhills her whole life, and knows the land and the people. Something doesn’t add up—and Kate must find the real killer before he can strike again.

  Can’t wait until October? Pick up Stripped Bare now, or the thrilling Kate Fox short story Close Enough on September 19th! Shannon-Baker.com

Interview with the Author

What initially got you interested in writing?

When my older sister told me very early on that she was the writer in the family and I’d have to find something else to do, I gravitated to theater. It wasn’t until my 35th high school class reunion that I realized I’d written the class prophecy as well as class wills. So, part of me was always writing. When I hit college, my practical side took over and I ended up in the business school. My freshman comp prof drew me aside one day and said, “You have a real facility for the language. You should consider becoming and English major.” Of course, I blew him off (except I still remember his exact words).

  What made it possible for me to be a writer is that I’ve always loved to read. My first husband used it as an insult when he said, “Your nose is always in a book.” I still consider it one of the nicest things he ever said to me.

  How did you decide to make the move into becoming a published author?

I wrote my first book with the idea that I had always been a big reader, I could certainly write. Ha! I finished that book but even I could see how awful it was. I discovered Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers in Denver, and started attending their yearly conference. That’s where I learned to write and decided to try to get good enough to be published.

  What do you want readers to take away from reading your works?

First and always, I want readers to do that magical thing–like when space ships in Star Wars go into warp speed–where they are transported into the world of the story. Reading novels has made me so happy and I’d love to give that to readers.

  Then I’d love for them to find out something about rural America, cattle ranching, and the beautiful Nebraska Sandhills. I’d also like them to make friends with Kate Fox and enjoy spending time with her.

  What do you find most rewarding about writing?

Like yoga or long distance running, I love having done it. For me, writing is like solving this big puzzle. You start out with all these ideas and you need to figure out how to fit them all together and add more stuff to come up with a story that moves along and hangs together. While I’m going through it, I can get frustrated. I stomp around declaring that I’m not smart enough. But, so far, if I bash my brain long enough, it all sifts into place and it feels like magic. So, yeah, that’s pretty rewarding.

  What do you find most challenging about writing?

I think it’s exactly what is the most rewarding. Beating the plot into submission is really hard. *whine, whine, wine *

  What advice would you give to people wanting to enter the field?

The big two that Stephen King recommends: write every day and read all the time. I’d also add to keep learning. I learned how to write from going to conferences. Now I take online courses and read lots of great books on writing.

  And also, one I wish I’d have told my younger self—be gentle with yourself. Writing is a long game. Hardly anyone gets there immediately. It takes lots of words, lots of effort, endless education. Keep working but don’t expect immediate success.

  Is there anything else besides writing you think people would find interesting about you?

I don’t know how interested other people would be about this, but two days ago I returned from scuba diving in Roatan, Honduras. I dove with sharks, people! And I saw 6 sea horses in total, all at different times. Not only that, but we spotted a manta ray with an 8-foot wingspan!

  If you’d have asked me this two weeks ago, I’d have told you that at my ripe old age, more 60 than 50, I ran my first ½ marathon. I beat Oprah Winfrey’s time, so there’s that.

  What are the best ways to connect with you, or find out more about your work?

  You can contact me through my website: www.shannon-baker.com

I am the worst Twitterer ever, but my handle there is: sbakerwriter

Facebook: Shannon.Baker2

About the Author

Shannon Baker is the author of the Kate Fox mystery series, set in the isolated cattle country of the Nebraska Sandhills. She was voted Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers’ 2017 Writer of the Year and Stripped Bare earned the author a starred review in Library Journal (as their Pick of the Month) and a nomination for the 2016 Reading The West Award from Mountains and Plains Independent Booksellers. She also writes the Nora Abbott Mysteries (Midnight Ink), featuring Hopi Indian mysticism and environmental issues inspired by her time working at the Grand Canyon Trust. Shannon makes her home in Tucson where she enjoys cocktails by the pool, breathtaking sunsets, a crazy Weimaraner, and killing people (in the pages of her books).

BLOG TOUR – Dark Signal was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf with Shannon Muir

[personal-objects-blog]

Reflection

I didn’t receive as many submissions as I’d like, but from what I've received I've found this experience emotional in a way I did not expect. I wanted to initially ask all my friends and then strangers to submit a response to get a large collection of objects, but since finals week has dawned upon the students of the world, many simply did not have time. In the end what I have here are objects from my closest friends; people I live with, friends from high school, and some other friends from around college. I didn’t read all of the the submissions until before writing this, and I'm glad I did that. Without the context of seeing their face or just speaking to someone, reading their object posts made me feel like they were there speaking to me. I found my project’s goal changed in a way. Instead of trying to see if people feel different about objects after describing them, I found after describing an personal object, one describes themselves without even realizing it. 

Maybe this is because I'm a psych student and analyzing people is one of my favorite things to do, but I couldn’t help it when reading these submissions. I have a bias in that I already know this people, so it would be interesting to see if someone who doesn’t know them would pick up on the same things. I would like to go through each object and show how much they weirdly show the kind of person they are.

 Chris:

At first when I saw the suitcase, I was a little ticked off he would choose something so “boring”. After reading his post, I understood immediately. I think sometimes objects are screaming their meaning without words, but this one needed some explanation. I think that in itself says a lot about Chris; he’s a very nostalgic and symbolic man but you always have to pry the words out of him to know it. Chris recently has been working in Massachusetts and after connecting the suitcase to travel, I literally said “ohh” out loud. How could I have been so dumb to think this suitcase was just an easy copout to help me with my project. Because of Chris’ job as a theatre tech, he’s always on the move, jumping from job to job. He’s very sentimental and talks a lot about his travels, no matter the distance. I always imagined Chris in a past life as a small sailor man traveling along the waters, trying to find his way back home. 

Shannon:

When Shannon sent this to me, I nearly cried. We have been friends for over ten years and there’s no way we will never not be friends. Life has been tough for her recently and I know how lonely she’s been because of transferring schools and just chaos in general. I know she kept this scrapbook I made her, but I never knew how often she actually looked at it, or even that she brought it to college with her. Shannon has a hard time making friends, but when she does she puts everything into her friendships. She will stand up for you no matter what and will always be at your side. Sometimes it’s hard to comfort her when she’s sad, but I'm glad to know this book I made can be there for her when I can’t. 

 Isabella:

Me and my friend’s all call her our “vintage babe”, because she’s exactly that. She’s the kind of person to share clothes with her grandma and where a billion broaches from tag sales. For her to pick this portrait of a lady, and also be the only one to write their submission was no shock to me. Isabella really values traditions, and despite her distaste for her family, she’s all about carrying objects down through generations. I imagine Isabella to be 60 years old sitting in her house full of knick knacks and floral couches with this hanging carefully on the wall. 

Sandy:

Honestly when Sandy sent this to me, I knew there was nothing that could describe her better. She’s a huge nerd, and we’ve always made fun of her (in the nicest way possible) for it. I remember going to Comic Con together and watching her drool at the sight of Nintendo merchandise. The fact that it not only a Mario character, but also a cat is just too perfect. At home, Sandy has four cats and she loves with with all her heart. There is nothing that comes between her and her cats. Sandy also has a large attachment to home and her brothers, despite a huge age gap, have always been her best friends. Her mentioning how it reminds her of her brother, came with no shock. This object description is so Sandy, It’s honestly hilarious. 

Brendan:

When I asked Brendan to help me with this project, I knew he was going to choose a knife. It’s not because he is a violent man or scary; it’s because he is the most practical and handy person I know. Need a fork, spoon, and knife? Brendan will have the utility ware in his pocket. It probably has a lot to do with his Boy Scout training, but I also think thats just the kind of person he is. He’s always there for people and always trying to help. Naturally, he also has to make a reference to the “cracking open a cold one” meme because he can never be serious, even in the field of academia. I think the fact that he mentions he wants to hand this down within the family says a lot about the kind of person he is too. Like Isabella (who is his girlfriend), he values tradition and his family. If Brendan is not a father in 15 years, I will be shocked. 

Serena:

Serena has a huge longing for her home and the comfort of it. Whenever she’s upset or overwhelmed she goes home. I think it’s easier for her since she is an only child, but her parents are always comforting. This stuffed animal is very different than Sandy’s and I think that shows how important the context and personal background is to an object. While sandy’s stuffed animal also brings her comfort, it’s a different kind of comfort. Serena’s polar bear comes from a childhood comfort of being loved and coddled while hurt while sandy’s comes from being being reminded of home. This makes a lot of sense with Serena’s personality since she is someone who needs a lot of attention and care from those around her (not in a negative way). 

Noelle:

Noelle, the English education major, of course chose a book. I’ve never met someone who is so in love with literature.Her entire bedside is overflowing with books of every kind. In this very moment she’s actually sleeping with a book at her side. She could talk about Shakespeare or Virginia Wolf for days. It’s no surprise she’s the one who wrote the most. The fact that the book is also about race, gender, and mental illness says a lot her interests. I’ve seen her go on rants about stigmatization and inequality and she uses her words so carefully that everything flows as if she’s been planning a monologue.

_____________________________________________________________________

Overall I think these objects not only say a lot about the people they belong to, but it says something about me and the people I surround myself with. I have a diverse group of friends, but they all strongly value relationships. It made me really happy to read these entries and feel that I have such a great group of friends. 

[lucasflanagan-blog]

The Best Movies of 2016 According to Me and Only Me

I love movies. I love talking about them, talking shit about them, arguing about them and writing about them. This new blog I'm starting is my attempt to get back to basics with what I like to write about the movies I love and hate and everything else in between the highs and lows. Oscar Sunday is the perfect opportunity to discuss what I loved best about this past year. I saw many movies and still somehow seemed to miss a great deal of what I suspect might be worthwhile movies to check out. This stands as a testament to the strength of this past year -- the strongest in recent memory. But let's cut through the bs and get down to it. 

 First off, I want to highlight how strong a year this was for the horror genre. Something happened and horror movies -- a whole mess of them -- delivered in a legit way. Cooties was the best horror comedy I've seen since Shaun of the Dead. Rainn Wilson ruled nearly every minute of that movie. Adam Wingard did some interesting things with The Blair Witch and while that movie didn't entirely work, it's still a nice entry on Wingard's resume. The same goes for James Wan with The Conjuring 2. Not perfect but still a solid movie. 10 Cloverfield Lane and Green Room might not exactly be horror movies but they both slipped into the genre rather nicely while never being hampered by traditional genre trappings. The Mind's Eye was an extremely weird and crazy as shit little telekinesis movie. The Witch was a terrific exercise in slow building dread while still hiding so much more underneath the surface. Light's Out and Don't Breathe were, on the surface, more traditional fare but over delivered in every conceivable way. Specifically, Don't Breathe which always zigged when you expected a zag. Lastly, The Autopsy of Jane Doe and I'm not saying anything else about this movie except: SEE THIS MOVIE! There is one more horror movie to talk about but it nearly snuck into my top ten and will thus be discussed in this next section.

 Now, getting closer to the main course. In trying to pare down to a top ten, I was shocked at how many movies I was originally considering. This speaks to two things: How many great movies I saw this year and how close some of them were for me. Dr. Strange is definitely the craziest Marvel movie I've seen to date. Lion surprised me with how touched I was by what, on the surface, was a traditional, sappy, awards-bait story. Dev Patel was magnificent in showing the turmoil of going twenty-five years without finding your way home. Hidden Figures was the feel good movie of the year. Fences was crushing and while imperfect in it's pacing and constant tendency toward monologues, which is never great to watch on screen as opposed to seeing it live, the highs were really, REALLY high. Hacksaw Ridge was Mel Gibson's most complete effort as a director since Braveheart and while pretty standard, it was still a handsome production. The Lobster was definitely not for everyone and I'll definitely not be able to recommend it to anyone I know but for me, it totally worked. I found this movie hilarious at times. Is something wrong with me? Don't answer that. Next up is The Wailing, a Korean horror movie about...well, it's a Korean horror movie. It's about the Devil? Maybe? Whatever, the movie was nuts in all the best ways.

 This next group of movies is still in the same boat but were either made by some of my favorite directors or based on or part of something else I adore. Nicolas Winding Refn is a polarizing figure. I find the man to be a genius behind the lens and The Neon Demon felt like him summing up his career to this point while still projecting how he feels about the industry in general. Everybody Wants Some was marketed as a spiritual successor to Dazed and Confused and while that's a fairly accurate tag, the movie speaks more to the bonds of friendship and new love. Linklater is as good a filmmaker as there is working today. Everything he does just works for me. I feel like we speak the same film language. The Jungle Book surprised me. Rudyard Kipling is one of my favorite authors but this movie didn't look special to me in any way upon it's release. Word of mouth led me to an eventual viewing and I was stunned. It's one of the most useful applications of CGI I've ever seen in a movie. Nailed it. Oh Rogue One. I really don't know how this didn't make my top ten list. I love Star Wars and this easily ranks as the third best Star Wars movie ever. The best depiction of Darth Vader ever. Holy shit. Midnight Special made me cry. Hard. On an airplane. In front of a lot of strangers. Michael Shannon is in the discussion of greatest actors of his generation and kills it in this movie. Joel Edgerton has quickly become one of my new favorites and Jeff Nichols is the best filmmaker in the business right now. And finally, the final movie to JUUUUUUST miss making the cut. Arrival. Awesome, quiet, meditative movie and when the pieces of it's puzzle finally fall into place, you're left stunned in the best possible way. And next up for Denis? The Blade Runner sequel. Get psyched. 

 And now for my top ten. (Note: The top three movies were so close and are constantly playing leap frog. As I'm writing this, I still don't know which is going to be number one for me. And yes, I know it's February and nearly March. Don't look here for sense.) 

 10. THE HANDMAIDEN 

 Chan-wool Park is a madman. His movies are impeccably designed, ultra violent and perverse as hell. This one was no different. Easily the most gorgeous film of the year and full of twists, innovations, titillation and drama. I respect it more than I love it but I respect the living shit out of this movie. 

 9. DEADPOOL 

 Unlike any superhero movie we've yet seen. Violent, sexually deviant, foul-mouthed in the most horrible way but also smart, superbly written, hilarious, violent, sexually deviant and foul-mouthed in the most horrible way. Deal with it prudes. 

 8. THE INVITATION 

 Ahhhh The Invitation. The most contested movie of the year in my house. My wife hated it which killed me a bit. It'll undoubtedly be brought up in our divorce proceedings. Karyn Kusama reminded me of Hitchcock in this movie. Actually, the best ode to Hitchcock since the man himself. She is now on my list of directors whom I see no matter what. What's it about? Who cares? Karyn Kusama directed it. 

 7. THE NICE GUYS 

 Shane Black is a legend. How did this movie get ignored this awards season? Not even for it's script? Maybe the tightest script of the year. For sure, the best dialogue. Gosling and Crowe should spend the rest of their careers working with each other. Amazing movie. 

 6. NOCTURNAL ANIMALS 

 Another on the list of: HOW DID THIS MOVIE GET IGNORED? Tom Ford is carving out a hell of a place for him in Hollywood. A Single Man was amazing and now with Nocturnal Animals, I suspect studios will be hot after Mr. Ford. Also, how can you go wrong with the three best actors working today in the same movie? Shannon, Gylenhall, and Adams all crush here. Such a nasty slice of noir. We haven't seen noir willing to go full noir like this in a long time. I honestly can't remember the last time I saw one willing to be pitch black like Nocturnal Animals. I love when filmmakers don't give a shit about what an audience might think or like and just go out and make a fucking movie. 

 5. MANCHESTER BY THE SEA 

 This is a tough one. It's also another movie that is hard to recommend because it's so soul crushingly sad. But it's also funny and somehow life affirming. It's a great piece of character writing and solid directing by Kenneth Lonergan. Michelle Williams continues to be excellent while Casey Affleck continues to be the best Affleck. Anyone else wondering what Live By Night would have been with Casey playing the lead? 

 4. 20TH CENTURY WOMEN 

 And again another member of the WHERE IS THE LOVE CLUB. Mike Mills wrote the best script of the year. I'm willing to debate but there is really no debate. This was the best written movie of the year. Mills is an amazing talent. And then he went and cast so many people I love. Billy Crudup is great. Greta Gerwig, my wife now understands why I have such a crush on her. She is impossibly cool. Elle Fanning is going to be one of the biggest stars in the world very, VERY soon. Remember that. And finally, Annette Benning has never been better. She was robbed! And this is where things get messy/interesting/crazy/nonsense-y? 

 3. HELL OR HIGH WATER 

 Whoah. This movie was number one on my list for a very long time. Ben Foster gave one of my favorite performances of the year. Jeff Bridges was funny and badass at the same time and Chris Pine was incredibly authentic as a man willing to put literally everything on the line for his family. This was noir and a western at the same time and that ain't easy to pull off. Impeccably written and basically told two separate stories about varying degrees of brotherhood at the same time while still having plenty to say about the haves and have-nots. About ownership, not only about tangible things but also about one's life. I have a brother who'd I'd rob banks for and maybe that's why this movie spoke to me so sweetly but I loved it all the same. 

 2. LA LA LAND 

 This was the most inspiring movie of the year for me. I loved every second of it and maybe down the road this will be remembered by me as the best. I don't know, I have yet to receive my time machine. Gosling is as charismatic as actors get and ditto for Emma Stone. They're both likable nearly to the point of annoyance. Chazelle is a great writer and even better director. He allows his movies to breathe while still managing to fill them to the brim. It's a high wire act few can pull off. 

 #1 MOONLIGHT 

 This one was just different. I've never seen anything quite like Moonlight. It's the movie which stuck with me the longest after seeing it. I saw it over a month ago and not a day goes by without me thinking about it. The story is timeless and new at the same time. The way Barry Jenkins shot this movie feels revolutionary to me. Everything was shot in hyper color and then drab. Things shoot into and out of focus. It's like seeing a movie with all of your senses. Mahershala Ali gave my favorite performance of the entire year. He was nothing short of extraordinary. Everything about this movie was extraordinary. I liked it upon leaving the theater. I liked it more the following day. I loved it a few days later. And where Hell or High Water and La La Land were, in many ways, equally extraordinary, they were maybe just the best versions of their respective genres that we've seen in years. Moonlight defied genre to just be unforgettable. 

 Enjoy the show everybody.

 RIP Bill Paxton. 

 Love each other.

[spynotebook]

We’ve run our 11 Best Single Issues Of The Year. Well now, Rich Johnston and the Bleeding Cool writers (not Jude) give you 11 collections and graphic novels to reflect on as we say good riddance to 2016 and welcome 2017 with nervous worry.

Eliot Cole

Doctor Who: A Matter Of Life And Death by George Mann, Emma Vieceli and Hi-Fi.

I don’t have quite as much to say here as I did in my “lack of words” on A-Force #4, but I find this Eighth Doctor collection just the lovely example of (a) comics and (b) what could’ve been with the best of all the doctors. George Mann’s stories are each self contained, following the fantastic journey of Josie, and how she becomes part of Eight’s life. Each story was a book, and was self contained, but lends well to the whole. I wrote 3 sentences on George Mann’s awesome plotting (and such), and having a good take on 8 but they amounted to that word, “awesome.” Emma Vieceli’s trademarked panelling design compel you through this beautifully, I could genuinely read pencils of this quality on anything. Ms. Vieceli is surely meant for the greatest of things. Do yourself a favour and check out Titan’s Eighth Doctor Collection.

Jeremy Konrad

The Fix Vol.1-Where Beagles Dare by Nick Spencer, Lieber, Ryan Hill, and Nic J Shaw

I actually was starting to feel a little burnt out by Image this year. Quite a few of their series were blending together and felt to be covering quite a bit of the same ground. That all changed when I picked up The Fix. This series, with its dry, sarcastic humor and panels that you have to study to catch every little  gag in the details very quickly became one of my favorites. And I mean, Pretzels. How can you not love a dog like Pretzels??? Every issue gets better and better, and hopefully it runs for a very long time.

Hannah Means-Shannon

Aleister & Adolf by Douglas Rushkoff, Michael Avon Oeming, and Nate Piekos

This book has been an outlier on many press radars, but it’s one of those densely crafted, significant works that hopefully will be the gift that keeps on giving, showing comic creators and fans what new directions in the medium can be taken. Written by powerhouse social critic Douglas Rushkoff and drawn by the endlessly original Michael Avon Oeming the book tracks a fictional account of Aleister Crowley’s media wars with Adolf Hitler based on a few key historical facts. It follows the life of a young military reporter assigned to Crowley through the course of “sigil” developments, like the swastika by the Nazis and V for Victory by Churchill in the war over human minds during WWII. Rushkoff’s characterization, research, and narrative framing devices, combined with Oeming’s emotive and often highly symbolic artwork make sure this book has something significant to say about the ongoing role of symbolism and propaganda in the way we see the world around us. It might just remind you of the dangers and the positive powers of belief and focus to influence any struggle, even on an international level. Aleister & Adolf may be about the second World War, but it’s highly relevant to our times and makes for a thought-provoking, and at times disturbing, read.

Joe Glass

The Wicked + The Divine Deluxe Hardcover by Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie, Matthew Wilson and Clayton Cowles.

I mean, just look at it.

Let’s not even go into the story or anything yet, just take in this huge, black, hot foiled beauty! You can read comics on your train to work looking like you’re reading out of some mystic grimoire of mystery!

Plus, it contains Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie, Matthew Wilson and Clayton Cowles’ incredible series of pop stars as gods and the hard price of fame (it kinda kills you in the end, which 2016 proved in force really, didn’t it?). Collecting the first two story arcs, plus loads of behind the scenes materials and a good chunk of Gillen’s breakdowns of the book, it makes for the absolute best purchase for fans of the series.

And it just looks sexy as hell on a book shelf!

Abdulkareem Baba Aminu

Huck by Mark Millar and Rafael Albuquerque.

Surprising myself, and after a great deal of thought, I have picked Huck Vol. 1 by Mark Millar and Rafael Albuquerque as the best graphic novel/collection for 2016. I started reading the monthly issues, up to the second, and I somehow fell off. But I did know I’d catch up on the trade when it gets released. And boy was I glad I waited. The story, collected, had a pace that was missing during its monthly run, and the character development proved to be near-perfect. Early comparisons to Superman did no justice to the story of a small town resident who’s revealed to have some truly awesome powers, of course with disastrous results. The art – oh, boy the art – is beautiful, aided by perfect colours and it sets the tone the right way. There’s almost a Spielberg-ian sense of wonder and adventure to the tale, enough to make me ignore the irritation that is an editing error which portrayed a factual kidnapping of schoolgirls by insurgents as having happened in East Africa, when the stated Sambisa Forest is in Nigeria, in West Africa. You could say it was personal for me. That aside – and I truly enjoy most of the Millarworld books – Huck is my absolute favorite.

Marilyn Weiss 

Nameless City by Faith Erin Hicks

I was so excited for this graphic novel to be released, it was easily one of the highlights of my reading this year. We meet Kaidu, a recent arrival to the Nameless City, and son of the latest ruling clan, Dao. As he trains to become a warrior, his adventurous nature drives him into the city, where he meets up with the lovable, street wise Rat. Hicks did an amazing job creating a detailed world that I would love to explore and get lost in. I can tell that there are so many stories hiding within the city, just waiting to be told. I would gladly hand this book to any fan of comics, be they young or old. The sequel, The Stone Heart will be out in April 2017.

  Rich Johnston

Patience by Dan Clowes

I’m a sucker for a post-modern time travel story. See my love for least year’s There’s No Time Like The Present by Paul Rainey. And Dan Clowes gives us actual plottage with Patience. A story of rags to – well not exactly riches, but a different state of being, as the newly pregnant young Patience is murdered, a series of events that destroys her partner, Jack. It’s his attempts to “put right what once went wrong” and the calamitous consequences of his actions, digging his own grave – or Patience’s  – deeper and deeper that drive this book forward. Or backwards. Which means you’ll have to reread it the moment you finish for that Sixth Sense experience. But for all that it’s the attitude of Jack, the anti-Hollywood hero that sets this apart, refusing to follow the obvious tropes or experiencing triumphs – or disasters as he may be expected to.

And the devil is always in the details. Clowes has always had a style that grabs the eye, gives it direction and pulls it forward, the narrator grip in full effect. Here every object in every panel could have serious significance that you will need that second – or third reading to pick up on it.

Toward a Hot Jew by Miriam Libicki

You know those overnight sensations who have been working hard at the craft for decades? That’s Miriam Libicki. In something that resembles the missing link between Marjane Satrapi and Joe Sacco, her autobiographical work exploring her Jewish identity, attractiveness and the reaction of those around her, whether as a Israeli soldier or a professor of art, this collection of a decade’s work jumps from illustrated essay to comic book panels, exploring the medium, the tools to create the work and express inner neurosis as beautifully – and as ugly – as possible.

Black Dog: The Dreams of Paul Nash by Dave McKean

Art about art – Dave McKean creating a comic about war artist Paul Nash, and how that artist turned the worst extremes of humanity into art that illuminated the mind. And then how it affected the young Dave McKean, and how his work has existed in relation to that of Paul’s. This is a giant standing on the shoulder of another giant and between them they can see so much about us. An incredibly moving masterpiece, and stands alongside McKean’s Cages, as an exploration of the effect of art on both the viewer and the artist themselves. Psychologically complex and using the very strictures of comic book panels, speech, character positions to demonstrate so much of what we are.

Rolling Blackouts by Sarah Glidden

Another example of comic book journalism, Sarah Glidden takes a trip to the Middle East with an eye on America’s influence on the region, travelling through Syria, Iraq and Turkey. But its also an examination of journalism itself, as Sarah is accompanying two “proper journalists” as they look at the effect of the Iraq War and of its refugees, so it also becomes a procedural for the profession as well – especially when they are joined by a friend and a US soldier who served in Iraq. And it suddenly gets a whole lot more awkward. Something that is made more palatable by Sarah’s soft watercolors, a different look than we might have otherwise expected.

Everyone has a story to tell. It turns out that’s as much true of the journalists as it is those they report on.

Clean Room Vol 1: Immaculate Conception by Gail Simone, Jon Davis-Hunt and Quinton Winter.

For some reason I never find The Walking Dead comic as gross as I do the TV show. I occasionally wondered if that was a creative choice of the limitations of the medium? Well, Clean Room answered that. It really is something very nasty indeed. Writer Gail Simone has rarely been given the chance to operate at this level. And she choosing the tack of making the people far scarier than the Entities that are meant to be threatening them, in terms of the moral choices they hold. Jon Davis-Hunt’s choices of style are also a surprise, eschewing the darkness for something brighter, more visible and cleaner. This is horror with the strip lighting turned up and refusing to blink.

It also takes suicide head on, as something fuelling the survivors, and as psychological as that is, the comic is never afraid to shlock-horror out, embracing that aspect rather than being embarrassed about it. It’s the combination of both approaches that elevates this title above the norm and makes it something special. And the way it buolds from issue only helps the trade paperback – even if you are denied the pain of waiting from month to month for cliffhangers to resolve.

Buy this for the Scientologist in your life. And then get Gail Simone to write Crossed.

            Bleeding Cool’s 11 Favourite Graphic Novels/Collections Of 2016