#like of COURSE it's about grief. the podcast is about grief. but also it's.... really.... about grief

[rheineorshine]

mike walters loves to look you directly in the eyes and open episode 1 by lying in the first sentence. he's not here to document the game as an impartial observer, he's here because the post that lead him to w.bg had some kind of clue about the prize.

of course he was so desperate to believe that he was in first place. of course he was willing to cut his own hands off for bonus points. he "started playing WOE.BEGONE because [he] needed [matt] back", and anything that mike can do to increase his standing with the gamerunners increases the chance that mike gets to keep him.

by the time mike hits the fourth challenge, he's convinced that if he plays well enough he can get his hands on the tech. choosing not to play would kill them both. completing the challenge brings him closer to winning the game and having matt back.

the only way to still save matt is to lose him all over again.

[tomwambsmilk]

"There's so much going on [in the green room], and obviously the main event is what's going on between Shiv and Roman now that she's convinced him not to be a part of it. I think you see them go from 'Yeah, here we are, this is typical Kendall, shitting the bed' - and meanwhile it's this moment that as he gets progressively better and it starts to - even the press, that goes well - I think you see that Roman is just full of regret... It was also part of the fun of what we did onstage with Kendall. We had seven cameras going; we had five film cameras, two video cameras (the two that are the live feed for them in this back room where they get to see him in close-up as well as the wide). We had three spotlights on Kendall onstage so that there are certain shots you can see that he's got three shadows behind him, so it does feel like the echo of his siblings being up there with him - but he is completely alone. And so pivoting between these two scenes, finding room for these jokes, of course, but also just seeing them unravel - and so much of this episode is really about Roman spiralling, going from a place of being partners in crime with Kendall to being alone, again, and back with his grief by the end." - Lorene Scafaria, director of "Living+", on HBO's Succession Podcast

[copperbadge]

If its not too personal could you talk about what was the inspiration for Michaelis? He's got a lot of depth to him, especially for what could have been a one off character in the background after Fete. Also the way he mourns but carries on really resonates with me in Jes.

Oh sure! I mean, on the one hand it is quite personal but it's a kind of personal I really enjoy sharing. :D Michaelis began life as the Standard Hallmark Parent -- you see them a lot in the movies, the parent who is

1. Kinda grouchy

2. Usually pushing their kid slightly too hard in slightly the wrong direction (with the best of intentions)

3. Often a widow/er

4. Practically a cameo designed to stress out the lead, but easily attractive enough that they could be romantic lead themselves in the sequel.

There are actually several Hallmark films where the over-sixty characters are either the supporting romance in a one-off film or the main romance of a sequel film. (The Wedding Veil films, which despite their flaws are actually very enjoyable, have a Michaelis-like character for the mother of the male lead in the first movie, and she then becomes the major supporting romantic lead in the fourth movie.)

By the time I got to Michaelis talking to Eddie at the end of the script for Fete, I'd grown to really like him. When I adapted the script to a novel, I liked him even more. I thought that I could do a sequel with him getting jolted out of himself a bit -- and I was encouraged by how many people liked him in the initial read through. The main inspirations for the actual plot of Infinite Jes were, one, Gregory jokingly suggesting he do a podcast, and two, Michaelis's defensive dismissal of Gregory's question about what he's done for companionship since Miranda passed.

Over the course of writing Infinite Jes, he came to be a collection of themes I've explored or wanted to explore, sometimes themes I knew I wasn't skilled enough to handle yet. The core of him is based on a professor I worked with as a student; the confidence that occasionally tips into arrogance, the keen intellect that likes to take things apart, the ability to look at some toxic family traits and decide "RIP but I'm different" and be a present, nurturing masculine figure, all come from that professor, who had a huge impact on me.

But I have also been fascinated for decades now by a certain kind of character in fiction, someone who has had a devastating loss and keeps going, even if they aren't driven by something like revenge. Profound grief is difficult and fascinating for me, and I finally felt capable of exploring that fully, perhaps because the pressure on romance novels is a bit lower at times.

And honestly, a lot of him is me, processing the fact that I am aging in fandom. I'm older (44) than the oldest person I knew in fandom (38) when I joined it at the age of 14. I have, for lack of a better word, a position in fandom, a status, that affords me certain perks and requires of me certain obligations. Not to call myself elected king of fandom ("I didn't vote for him!") but the duty I feel to fandom, both as a culture that raised me and a found family, is very similar.

Most of my characters contain some of me, but Michaelis and Jerry contain far more of me than most, perhaps because I'm in a place to do some reflection. Michaelis -- intelligent, experienced, hopefully a mentor, but also lonely and detached at times -- is who I'm coming to grips with being; Jerry, the charming fuckup with power but no real clue how to use it, who is doing his best to grow up a little later than a lot of his peers and figure out how disability fits into his identity, is who I still see myself as.

So yeah -- I find Michaelis incredibly fun and compelling to write for, and I think that's because I had hit a skill level in my work where I could combine a lot of tropes and themes into one character and use him to explore why I enjoy them so much. But he definitely began life as the Hallmark Widowed Dad. :D Well, there are worse origin stories.

[arithmonym]

20 questions for 20 writers!

thanks to @accidentallyadorable for tagging me! this was fun. :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

30! only 20 are visible from my profile, though. my older fics and drabbles are quarantined to a separate account, and a few things are posted anonymously.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

113,190 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

it’s mostly the locked tomb these days. i also have a few old works for the penumbra podcast, the magnus archives, and the adventure zone—and a few even older works for harry potter and percy jackson, but those are on ff.net so i can pretend they don’t exist.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it’s familiar (but not too familiar) - fluffy griddlehark time travel fic. this was my first attempt at writing them and i could definitely do a better job now, but the prose still holds up.

alive, barely breathing - post-canon griddlehark first time fic that’s fucked-up and sad. sometimes i look at the comments when i want to feel good about my writing. :3

bring your hunger - post-canon griddlehark grief/relationship study. also a WIP. (honestly, this one might go on anon for a bit—it’s vulnerable in ways i don’t want to explain, and i’m shying away from writing the next chapter because the Fear of Being Known got to me a little.)

it’s not unusual - fluffy modern AU where team 69 go to a bar and play catan. palamedes has an oral fixation, because of course he does. this one is campal with background griddlehark getting-together, but i might write a sequel from harrow’s POV someday.

bad idea right? - modern AU chatfic inspired by this post by eskildit. it’s about camilla dealing with the paldulcie situationship™️ & enduring so much dyke drama thanks to the nature of her friend group. it received a podfic recently, which is fun!

(… i also want to write a camdulcie sequel for this one. i’ve been rotating the idea frequently.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

almost always. there are a few scattered comments i haven’t replied to yet, but i like responding! it’s an excuse to drop more lore about the fic and the writing process, IMO.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angiest ending?

the ace cam fic i haven’t finished yet, which will probably be posted on anon. (i feel like people are going to attack me for poor representation or something, but it’s inspired by my own experiences, so. can’t win them all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

something sweet is pure, uncomplicated fluff, so i guess i’ll go with that!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really. i’ve blocked a few people for being rude, but i haven’t gotten hate in years.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

occasionally. i’ve only posted 4 explicit fics, but so far it’s a pretty even mix of f/f, f/m, and other.

10. Do you write crossovers?

i have a tlt/w359 fusion AU i want to pick up again! i need to untangle some threads of the metaplot, though.

(also, the first fic i published on ff.net was a harry potter/rise of the guardians crossover. yes. it was cringe. yes, it’s probably still posted on the internet if you want to find it.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, actually! a few of my old hp fics were translated into spanish or chinese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i wrote a round-robin fic with the campal server once. i also started co-writing a fic with quinn a while ago (before we both got busy with school) that i’d like to return to at some point, because the concept still makes me vibrate with glee.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i’m not sure that i have one, actually? i’m a multishipper to my core.

15. What's one WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have so many WIPs in my google docs that i’ll probably never finish.

i’d like to revisit my fic about necromancers & dysautonomia some day, but my writing style has changed so much since then. i might have to rewrite what i’ve posted.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m frequently complimented on my worldbuilding. i’m good at examining the implications of things that other people might not think about, so my plots are original even when i’m writing a fandom trope. (i can’t wait to post my harrow nova AU for this exact reason.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

sigh. pacing. i write from very close POVs, but sometimes i get too far into the character’s head, and it drags the story down. i’m trying to write sharper prose, but i’m going through an awkward growth phase as a writer—i know the structure i want, but it’s a struggle to get there concisely.

also, i over-edit instead of writing new words, which does me no favors.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i guess it depends on context? i have a pretty good grasp on code-switching from being bilingual but not quite fluent, but the memory of that one klance fic haunts me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i mentioned my first published fic earlier, but the first fic i wrote was a percy jackson self-insert fic when i was twelve.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

indelible! cam and pal figure out that dulcinea isn’t who she says she is at the fifth’s anniversary party, but it doesn’t change anything. <3

///

tagging @harrowharkwife @friendamedes @cindthia @logicbutton @thewinterstale @sluggydrabbles & anyone else who wants to participate!

[coffinup]

Hi! Ive been trying to learn about mortuary science in my free time, but im unable to take any classes. Do you have any recommended websites, books, or any sources for getting started?

Yes there are tons of ways you can learn about mortuary science without taking classes! Here are some of my favorite recs, I consumed a lot of these before i started mortuary school but some of them I’m using as supplementary study!

Books:

-Stiff by Mary Roach. This book is a TAD dated, but it is an interesting deep-dive into the way that human bodies have contributed to science, how body disposition practices have changed, and how our understanding of death has changed over time. It's beautifully written and really good for getting your feet wet in this topic.

-The Anatomist by Bill Hayes. This is a sort of biography of Henry Gray and Henry Carter (the author and illustrator of Gray’s Anatomy, respectively) combined with a crash course in anatomy. It’s a very fun read!

-Gray’s Anatomy. I still find the illustrations and descriptions in this book really helpful!

-Embalming: History, Theory and Practice by Robert G Mayer. This is technically a textbook, but it's probably the most in-depth book on embalming if that's something you're interested in! It runs kindof expensive, but you can get an account on internet archive and borrow it. I also know there are epubs available of it if you care to seek them out ;)

-All that Remains by Sue Black. Dame Black was a forensic scientist. Her writing is very brutally honest! Forensic pathology is a field I'm personally interested in and very relevant to mortuary science!

Websites:

TalkDeath.com

Whenyoudie.org

These are both great resources for learning about grief, alternate death practices, thanatology, etc.

Videos:

The Mutter museum’s youtube channel. For lots of cool videos on medical history!

Undertaker 365's video on embalming. This is a smaller channel, and this video is long but easy to listen to in the background to learn about embalming.

Kari the Mortician. She has easy-to-follow short-form videos as well as a podcast! I like her because she is a practicing funeral director and embalmer with a long history in the industry. She talks about everything involving funeral services, from directing, to embalming, to historical knowledge, to industry terms, etc.

I'll give a brief caveat to that if you watch any videos by mortician influencers take their knowledge with a grain of salt. Mortuary science, embalming, and funeral directing varies depending on where you are and what path you decide to take, and sometimes social media influencers have a biased perspective. Caitlyn Doughty's historical videos are interesting, but i'd steer clear of any of her opinion pieces. Always keep in mind that social media is designed to highlight posts and videos that stimulate negative emotions; fear-mongering, contrarian attitudes, etc. Negativity draws views. If someone has an overtly negative opinion about embalming, burial, cremation, etc, remember that is just their opinion and never take any one person's opinion as gospel!

Hope this helps as a start! I have a lot of books on my to-read list, so I'll post my opinions of them when I finish them!

[swallowtailed]

palisade 41

honestly don’t really know where to begin here.

because, like, we all kinda knew this was coming, right? odds were it had to happen sometime. now it has.

but there’s still a real cosmic unfairness to the timing of it. figure died right after they decided they didn’t want to. breaking the wheel of their resurrection is fine and all, but they fought so hard to escape clem and join perennial that it doesn’t really ring true to me.

hearing future in the same sentence reminded me that there’s another suite of definitions for figure, aside from the noun meaning shape or form—the verb meaning guess, consider, imagine.

i’m inclined to read future and perennial as two sides of the same coin—two views of the principality. future sees an inevitable road toward culmination, perennial sees that it’s all the same fucking cycle. also, future seizing on a moment of power from perennial and turning it to their own ends.

real gur just cannot catch a break. they’re stuck with future, inside their own reanimated corpse, guarded by the shell of figure? some real eternal torment there.

so, you know. shit sucks!!

i was really, really hoping eclectic would steal future, and it would also have been incredible for gur sevraq (who, as we know, stole the future) to be stolen from future, but the dice fall as they will

really interesting contrast between the two sides of this arc wrt divine/axiom/mortal/etc relationships. thisbe is guiding integrity and communicating with ebullience, building relationships across ways of being. figure is destroyed just by exposure to divine power, subsumed by the weight of a god rearing up on its own. the axiom being willing to treat with thisbe, the divine destroying figure. which is maybe less about those powers than about the hands moving them—instrumentalization as always a core theme of palisade. 

of course it is also a cautionary tale of the capriciousness of dice. if figure and gur had gotten to speak with future i can imagine it going more like thisbe’s side. but maybe not! we’ll never know.

characters being demanded to envision a future was one of my favorite beats in partizan and it was really cool to hit that again (and to call back to leap!). but also heartbreaking. cori, happy and safe…

aw fuck the crew’s still gonna have to find out that figure is dead… mortality of course goes hand in hand with grief. much like valence’s death i think the positioning of figure’s death is ultimately going to be shaped most by reactions to it

dre’s pc deaths are always so fraught, huh. valence and chine were also kind of messy, sudden deaths—no clean tragedy. which, like, is life, but also, ;-;

the music was incredible. like breathing. and the way the dirge just stops—blinks out.

eclectic drawing up the seismic power of opposition, his own power, was really moving. a bit of grace in that moment.

i’m not sure where they’re gonna go from here, especially in terms of character arcs. it’s a rough downbeat. kind of falls in line with the conflict turns, though—fighting back and forth down to the bitter end. might be a bleak finale although at least one more thing seems set to unfold in this arc so honestly who knows

incidentally, bets on that: the smell of computer parts immediately made me think of the nobel, but the mechanical whine heard across the continent made me wonder if it could be palisade waking up (/being woken up). either way, it’s definitely getting to be alarm clock time, right?? (on the other hand maybe this is just motion activating all across palisade, but a bunch of motion factories just got taken down.)

it’s nice that the a-plot crew were having a fun heist though. cori deserves an alise breka mission

tragedy-ass podcast.

[bekaterrier]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! I listened to a few things this week (gushing and spoilers ahead):

@woodenovercoats S4: You know it's going to be a good season when it's already got me tearing up in the third episode! Madeline and her family!! 😭 Madeline and Rudyard besties! 🥰 I absolutely loved seeing Antigone continue to grow this season. She just wanted to be seen, to know she was strong enough to be seen, and she was!! We also got to hear Rudyard give more time to his life outside the funeral home, particularly his special interest in history! We finally got Chapman's backstory! Heartbreaking though. 💔 Holy shit that sound design when Chapman and Rudyard go over the falls was *chef's kiss*. My first thought re: the Funns running Chapman's was "Oh lord, how is Rudyard going to F this up?" It was really nice to hear them actually properly put on a funeral like we knew they could. Throughout the season, we heard Eric and Antigone grow closer and some feelings start to develop there. Then hearing Eric calling out for Antigone in his dream was...whew. "Sorry about the chloroform." 😂 Georgie's cycle of grief is so real. It hits you at the most unexpected moments. They're a town!!!! And of course he came back, he's home!!!!! This ending is so perfect, so absolutely satisfying. This show was incredible ♥️

@midstpodcast S1: I've been seeing so much about this show in my feed lately as its third and final season released, so I just had to jump into it. And wow am I hooked! The way the narrators share the story and the character voices between them is fascinating. The world building is absolutely incredible - the visual they painted of the fold sweeping through is just chilling. Combine that with the actual visual elements created by the podcast, seen in the YouTube videos...so so cool. Side note - I hate the Trust; the way that its systems ensure that those at the bottom are kept down, rewarding those already at the top...kudos to another podcast where one of the villains is capitalism. In any case, I was so absorbed in the stories of each of the three protagonists, trying to see ahead to how their lives would intersect, I almost forgot about the very first scene! The moon falls out of the sky!! Absolutely wild!! I'm very much looking forward to learning more about the consequences of this and the impact on Midst.

@midnightburgr Welcome to the Horizon Part 3 - The Wayfaring Stranger: God I love this town and these people. I laughed out loud so many times this episode! Frank and June's reactions to Verge's background are hilarious. I'm so glad we have Verge in this mini-series. It's also so fun to hear them flirting with Deirdre, especially after hearing their VAs as not so friendly in Moonbase Theta, Out (love you Cat and Tina). The news that we get from Trinkett about the comet is verrry interesting and concerning, so looking forward to seeing where that goes.

@tellnotalespod S1 & S2 (to date) re-listen: TNT is currently on their mid season break, so I re-listened to everything that's been released so far. I said earlier this season that it was going to be tough listening to all the S2 episodes in a row since many of them made me cry individually...and I was right! 😭 I am so looking forward to the rest of S2, and I really hope Leo, Riley and Julia all get the hugs they need, preferably from each other.

@storiesfromylelmore Winter Solstice crowdfunding episode: I love hearing the kids out and up to their shenanigans! It was also really sweet to get a glimpse of the parents doing their thing, but also loving all the kids (even though Elas can sometimes be puce). I also loved hearing more about their world's Winter Solstice story! The worldbuilding is so fantastic.

@hinaypod Episode 41 - Danny Boy (Pride Episode 2024): I'm glad I listened to this one during the day because I definitely would have gotten creeped out by some of the curse's descriptions if I'd listened at 2AM, as I sometimes do. We got quite lore dump on our favourite horrible old man, but I still have so many questions!!

[protoslacker]

My Dream Last Night and Brazil

It's a day off from work for me today. I like waking up when I'm ready instead of when I have to. When I awoke today I was dreaming. It's hard to pin down dreams and to put them into words. The gist of my dream was being in the company of a group of people who had suffered a community trauma--perhaps thinking of people affected by Helene flooding. I was really feeling them and learned of their community's collaboration with a similar community far away--perhaps thinking of people and flooding on Long Island.

I asked a member of the latter group, somehow knowing that he was a leader in a very conservative Christian denomination, what brought him into solidarity with the former group. He explained that after his community's trauma he and others in his community had experienced a spiritual transformation. And that what had led his transformation was meeting with others at their houses of worship and finding holiness there.

My description of the dream doesn't really capture it, of course. There's more to it. In waking life sometimes things we read linger in one's thoughts. About a month ago I read, and I think subsequently have listened to, Kelly Hayes's podcast, Movement Memos, episode with Sarah Jaffe speaking of Jaffe's book From the Ashes: Grief and Revolution in a World on Fire. I keep thinking about their discussion.

Sometimes my memory seems as if my brain is Swiss cheese, that's especially true when it comes to recalling names. I was trying to bring to mind the term "Integrative Community Therapy" (ICT) and just couldn't seem to remember it. So I searched my blog using the term "Brazil" because I could remember that ICT was associated with a Brazilian psychiatrist whose name I didn't recall either--Adalberto Barreto.

The tactic worked and I found the names. But also found pages of links posted which came up in the search for "Brazil" to be relevant.

There are links about climate change, health, music and culture. There are also links which taken together tell a story of capital usurping politics. Links about the impeachment of Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff and the imprisonment of former President Lula da Silva, the outrages of Jair Bolsonaro presidency, and Lula da Silva's winning a third, nonconsecutive election as President.

My dream speaks to our need for others and the strength we can gain together. Working in community ans sharing across distances is all a part of it. We're in this boat together. I am old, alienated and lonely, but I know we can make something good together. I think that's true whether or not I can muster anything to do about it.

[fuckyeahaudiodrama]

REC: Clockwork Bird

“A philosophical horror podcast about a missing cyborg and the people looking for him. Robin Jaeger is the most synthetic man in the world. And he’s possibly been legally dead for over a decade. Shelly Croft is putting the pieces together, hoping the trail to Robin Jaeger will also lead to her finding her ex-girlfriend, who was obsessed with the company who made Robin’s limbs, and has also disappeared.” (x)

30 episodes / av. 15/25 mins apiece

this is genuinely one of my favorite audiodramas of all time. it truly makes the most of the medium, and the narrative is perfectly paced to allow each character to shine without distracting from the horizontal movement of the plot.

the overall balance of the story is admirable. robin is the fascinating center of the mystery, thoroughly haunting the narrative, but protagonist shelly really holds her own. she is not merely present as a means of unveiling someone else’s story; in fact, her personal drama is inextricably tangled in robin’s obscurity in a way that feels very natural — rather than forced — and provides a reasonable explanation for the risks that she continues to take. at no point should you find yourself skeptically asking “why is she bothering?” it’s clear there’s a compelling interest, and you will be dying to find out what it is.

additionally: my personal favorite part of listening to first-timer indie AD is when you get the chance to hear the technical skills of the creator improving over the course of the show. i find it so inspirational. this was a great example of that, and in fact, those improvements follow through to the creator’s next (unrelated) show, Spirit Box Radio!

the premise of this story alone raises a number of hairy ethical questions, and none of them are hand-waved away. to really appreciate this story you have to be willing to approach medical ethics including euthanasia, themes of suicide and self harm, and corporate usurpation of human bodily autonomy.

this story originated as a concept for a novel and you can tell just how gorgeously crafted it is. i for one cannot wait for creator eira to get published someday.

__

similar to: this story is unique in a very good way. other fragmented sci-fi mysteries like Janus Descending might tickle your fancy, or the ethical quandaries of Red Valley and BBC’s Body Horror. but i can’t think of another audiodrama that handles this brand of grief quite so poetically. feel free to point me to some.

[felixcosm]

Tried to listen to woe.begone but the premise is giving too much sword art online for me to take it seriously.

Please would you sell me on it?

Happily! I never got around to watching/reading Sword Art Online so I took a quick look at the plot and I think I know what you mean.

WOE.BEGONE the game is just the first step into the world of WOE.BEGONE the podcast. While it will always play a role of introducing Mikey to the world of time travel, it will not always be in the forefront of the podcast.

Dylan, the creator, is extremely good in shaking up the status quo from season to season. Season 2 is different than Season 1 and by the time you reach Season 5 and beyond, it's like you're in a whole other story (but it makes sense how the characters ended up where they did).

Although WOE.BEGONE the game does return to the story from time to time, Season 4, 7 and 10 have major callbacks to Season 1.

What sold me on the first season was Mikey, to be honest. I'm not big on life or death games, but having a protagonist who is such a fucked up little guy who schemes and lies and kills (while whining and simultaneously bragging about it) really charmed me.

I don't think WOE.BEGONE would've worked the same way if Mikey were a good person who had morals and standards or tried to be a hero in the story.

If you want to know what you have to look forward to in the podcast, here's a list of some of my favorite things about WOE.BEGONE

it becomes more and more about cowboys. It goes from random cowboy mention to "was this show ever NOT about cowboys??"

it's a show about power. Which Mikey goes on and on about in Season 1 yeah but it really becomes more prominent as the show progresses. Characters who seem reasonable and sensible are driven to make extreme choices for their own benefits and it inevitabley affects Mike in different ways

there's this villain (not the antagonist of season 1) who ends up becoming the Main Villain of the series. He's a complex character who can both be silly and terrifying, happily make puns mid-torture and risking the timeline to save someone in the next. He's extremely gay. And British. I hate him, he's caused me so much grief <3

There will be other Mikes. It's a time travel podcast, of course you will meet other Mike Walters who are not Mikey. While at times these lead to silly and chaotic shenanigans, the relationship the main Mikes have to each other is my favorite thing in any podcast ever. Found family, but it's you, your older self, your older cowboy self, yourself at the same age but he's also a cowboy, yourself at the same age but he's chill, your older cowboy self but he's got a Giant Horse and your mysterious younger self who gets bullied by everyone else.

Plus with time travel duplicates of Mike, the topic of what it means to be yourself comes up a lot. Are you still you when you are in a different body from your own? It's fascinating and I don't think time travel stories talk about it enough.

The world of WOE.BEGONE is so much bigger than the characters in Season 1. It expands outwards until you have this crazy story about time travelers, assassins, fucked up twinks, government weapons, unethical science, bears, cowboys, and in the middle of it all is Mike Walters, a guy who found an ARG on Reddit and decided to play it on a whim.

[loneberry]

Notes on Palestine

The geopolitical situation right now is extremely unstable. In such moments it always feels like incentive structures are such that all parties are pushed toward war and escalation. I saw how this all unfolded with 9/11; it left an indelible mark on my psyche–to observe the world careening, the hysteria, the march toward endless war. The Iran hawks in the US are out calling for war with Iran (US intelligence and even the IDF have said Iran did not help *plan* the Hamas attacks, though the idea that Iran was behind the attacks is being presented as fact). 

Days before the Hamas attacks, I was in an article + podcast rabbit hole focused on Iranian nuclear politics, Saudi-Israeli relations, and the current situation in the “Middle East” (I prefer the term “South West Asia and North Africa”/SWANA but will use “Middle East” for readability). I had also been reading that the US’s attempts to broker a US-Saudi-Israeli deal would piss off the Palestinians. It filled me with immense grief—nobody, not even Muslim Arabs, seem to care about Palestinians anymore. The international community has failed. Now it seems that the world has consented to a protracted genocide of Palestinians. It used to be the case that Arab countries would not considered normalizing relations with Israel without Israel making concessions to the Palestinians. The sad reality is that since the Arab Spring, the resolution of the Palestinian issue has become a low priority for many countries in the Middle East, many of whom have their own feud with Iran and see pivoting toward Israel as a path toward greater security. Of course I’m talking about the Abraham Accords, the so-called “peace deal” brokered by the Trump administration that enabled the normalization of relations between Israel, the UAE, and Bahrain, yet excluded any input from Palestinians. That event had brought me so much grief. It really felt like any hope for the Palestinian cause was dying. There seems to be little political will from any side to put pressure on Israel.

In moments of crisis like these I try to be sober and pedagogical, but such a task feels nearly impossible when it comes to the “Israeli-Palestinian conflict”. People say the conflict is “complicated” and rooted in hundreds of years of religious hatred. It is really not that complicated and only requires basic knowledge of 20th century history. Prior to WWI, the territory of Palestine (and much of the Arab world) was under the rule of the Ottoman Empire for over 400 years. The Allied Powers (Britain, France, Russia, and others) were at war with the Central Powers (Germany, Austro-Hungary, the Ottomans, etc). The Brits saw Palestine as a crown jewel and coveted Jerusalem in particular. They recruited Arab assistance in the war by whipping up hundreds of years of resentment against the Ottomans and promising the Arabs that they would break up the Ottoman Empire and help the Arabs create their own nations (see theMcMahon-Hussein correspondence). Yet the Brits were also keen on recruiting Jewish support on the side of the Allied Powers. In 1917 the British government made a declaration (the Balfour Declaration) that announced British support for the creation of a national home for the Jewish people in Palestine. At the end of WWI (which, as you likely know, ended in Allied success), the European empires on the winning side sought to expand their empires while Woodrow Wilson believed more in self-determination. The compromise was the “mandate” system, where the Europeans on the winning side took administrative control of territories lost by the Central Powers—France and Britain carved up the Middle East. Enter the British mandate for Palestine. The Arabs had been betrayed by the Allied Europeans (no surprise there). One form of colonial rule was swapped for another. 

Prior to the end of WWI, the Zionist movement was gaining momentum, partly as an answer to the perennial problem of European anti-Semitism and partly because of the 19th/early-20th century discourse around nationalism. The idea of creating a Jewish state in Palestine began in the 19th century, but it was really in the 1890s that modern political Zionism began with the figure of Theodor Herzl. European Jews began to immigrate to Palestine to form settlements. Yet when the mandate was established, the Jewish population was still relatively small—around 9%. While the territory was under British rule, the Brits facilitated a dramatic increase in European Jewish immigration to Palestine. Between 1922 and 1935, the portion of the population that was Jewish grew to 27%. It’s hardly surprising that violence broke out between Arabs and Jews, as well as Arabs and the Brits (see the Arab Revolt of 1936-39). 

The Brits promised a territory to an oppressed people (the Jews) that was never theirs to give away in the first place. The Arabs were quickly being displaced from their home. All of this would come to a head in WWII, when Europe’s vile anti-Semitism was on full display with the Holocaust. How would Europe atone for the atrocities committed against the Jews? There was much momentum around creating a physical state for the Jews in Palestine. This was also a convenient solution for deeply anti-Semitic Europe, as they preferred that the Jews leave rather than be integrated into their societies. In 1947 the UN voted to partition Palestine into a Jewish state and an Arab state, with Jerusalem coming under international administration. 13 voted against the partition (basically all the countries in the Middle East, plus India and several others). 55% of the land would be set aside for the Jews. War broke out soon after the UN resolution. The (WWII) battle-hardened Zionist paramilitaries (backed by European countries) undertook a campaign of ethnic cleansing and captured additional territory. Between 1947-49, 750,000 Palestinians became refugees—around 40% of the entire Palestinian population. 78% of historic Palestine was taken by Zionist forces. This is the event of settler violence and ethnic cleansing that Palestinians refer to as the Nakba (or catastrophe). 

There is so much obfuscation about the roots of the Israel-Palestine conflict. What ultimately happened: Europe decided it wanted to create a nation for Jews. It picked the territory of Palestine for this project (other territories were also considered) because the Brits controlled the territory and because of its religious significance. There were already people who lived on the land that was to be used to create a Jewish state. Now Palestinians are stateless and live under a brutal military occupation (the West Bank) and even more punishing blockade (Gaza)—or as refugees. Palestinians were ultimately made to suffer for the sins of European anti-Semitism. 

*

There is a lot more I can say here, about the history of the Cold War and how it relates to the US’s alliance with Israel, about internecine conflicts in Palestinian politics (the split between Hamas and the PLO/Palestinian Authority), about the current geopolitical situation, about contemporary domestic politics in Israel (which currently has the most right-wing govt in Israel’s history) and the Hamas attacks themselves. I see friends gleefully posting about the murder of Israeli civilians. I just can’t get on board with that. Neither can I get on board with Israel bombing hospitals and shelters in Gaza, or calling Palestinians “animals.” All life is sacred, all life is grievable. (People are right to point out that most of the world does not grieve the loss of Palestinian life.)

Events do have a context. Gaza is one of the most unlivable places on the planet. Around 67% of Gaza's population are refugees displaced during the Nakba. It has been under a brutal blockade for 16 years. It’s the 3rd most densely populated place on the planet—over 2.1 million people are crammed into a space half the size of London. The residents have been deprived of electricity, clean drinking water, medical supplies, and food. Nearly half of residents are unemployed and civilians have died by thousands under Israeli bombings (6,407 Palestinians have been killed since 2008). It is referred to as an “open air prison” because the residents are literally hemmed in by a high-tech fence. Given these dire conditions, an eruption of violence did seem almost inevitable. 

What I fear: a ground invasion of Gaza. A broader conflagration involving Lebanon and Iran, and potentially the rest of the world. The US going to war with Iran. If the world genuinely wishes to see the end of the “cycle of violence,” Palestinians must be free. Any attempt to bring about “regional security” while ignoring the Palestinian situation is destined to fail.

[coveredinsun]

hooooly shit this got WAY LONGER than i expected. but let me just say i think its interesting how shiv said that logan might’ve lived to “rock his grandkids to sleep” as if logan doesn’t already have grandkids.

obviously shiv was focused on herself and her own baby, but the phrasing of it struck me a certain way in such a big moment of vulnerability. because sarah snook said on a podcast that one of shiv’s flaws is that she has too much hope, and we can see this in shiv’s fantasy of her father– her father, logan roy– being a loving, affectionate grandfather to her children when he barely has a relationship with sophie and iverson (and literally hit iverson in season 1).

there are a million and one things to say about children in this show, obviously, which i can’t hope to even cover a fraction of. i guess for this i’ll emphasize the concept of children as an extension of their parents. this idea is central to the series, and foundational to all of the roys’ perceptions of a “family” as a whole. logan’s reason to have children was always, deep down, transactional; it was always to forward the company, to have someone he could trust at the helm of the ship when he goes. of course, for someone as brutally egotistical as him who’d prefer to rule himself for all eternity if he could, that ideally meant someone just like him. this isn’t anything new whatsoever; in fact this is literally what’s revealed the very first episode when logan tears kendall down from his pedestal because he’s not a “killer” like him. all he ever wanted was for one of his kids to be a true extension of him; a “killer.” however i do think it’s really important to keep logan’s view of children in the back of your mind, because it’s obviously the foundation for shiv’s view of her own child.

that being said, considering how all of shiv’s words were tainted with grief, shiv wasn’t thinking nor speaking about the transactional value of her child. the future of her child perhaps running the company after her simply wasn’t in her mind so soon after such an immense loss. instead, with concern to this idea of children as extensions of their parent, shiv’s fantasy of loving grandfather logan roy was naught but a hopeful fantasy of him providing HER love, but that desire was projected onto her child not just because logan is now dead, but also because shiv is an adult who “grew out” of receiving that kind of love years ago.

as the youngest child shiv has witnessed both rewards for logan-like behavior and punishment for deviant behavior, and internalizing it has made her insanely emotionally distant and detached. her aversion to vulnerability is overcompensation as a result of that upbringing (as well as typical misogyny). her ruthlessness and insensitivity in conversation is a way that she’s like logan; she has the “killer” drive that none of her siblings do– or, regardless of whether she actually does, she thinks she does. shiv gets a kick out of poking the blackest part of the bruise, so to speak (think her repeated mention of how roman can’t fuck), because it’s her way of affirming herself that she’s like her father, and therefore has value as a person, businesswoman, and daughter.

take into account this conviction of superiority above her brothers for being more like her father (and it should be, because it’s fundamental to her character and informs many of her decisions), and combine it with the aforementioned ideas toward the beginning of this rant, one could infer an unspoken– and frankly unnoticed–subconscious idea of hers: that shiv’s child, an extension of her, the best and most valuable of the siblings, would be treated well by logan. better than his other grandchildren, probably, because those were kendall’s children, and kendall’s not like logan (so why would logan bother?). like i said, though, this idea is a projection of the love shiv desires and believes she’s “earned.” it’s a real fucked up amalgamation of self-importance and deep-seated perceptions of competition amongst her brothers, but tainted with desire for affection she never got, and tainted with the false idea that this affection was taken from her by the external force of death, rather than by logan himself. ough

[authorstalker]

My May, June, July, & August Reads

Prairie, Dresses, Art, Other, Danielle Dutton - I put this on hold because 1) I love Dutton's novel, Margaret the First, and 2) the cover art is so different and so great. I really enjoyed the experience of reading PDAO; it made me feel smart, like I was back in school. That said, I also had to skim some of the "Art" section because it went over my head. I was most engrossed by the short stories in "Prairie" and the collection of literary dress quotes in "Dresses." In a fun coincidence, I had just started reading Lolly Willowes, and one of the dress quotes is pulled from that novel. Keep doing you, Danielle Dutton—I love your weird brain.

Lolly Willowes: or, The Loving Huntsman, Sylvia Townsend Warner - Another book I picked up because 1) I enjoyed a different novel by the author (in this case, Warner's Black Death nun book, The Corner That Held Them) and 2) the cover art called to me (in this case, witches flying on brooms across a hideous yellow background). Lolly Willowes is a wild ride—it was the first-ever book selected by the Book of the Month Club!—and yes, there are witches.

Beautyland, Marie-Helene Bertino - It took me longer than expected to get invested in this, for which I blame my tragic attention span, but I was hooked as soon as the protagonist started her high school years. A beautiful character, the most beautiful writing, and of course I cried buckets.

The Alternatives, Caoilinn Hughes - A novel about four sisters! Set in Ireland! It's funny and cynical! Unfortunately it lost my interest for a hot second 3/4 of the way through, but the insane ending saved the day.

Any Person Is the Only Self: Essays, Elisa Gabbert - An all-time favorite. If reading is central to your identity, you must get this book.

Grief Is for People, Sloane Crosley - I will think about the Grand Central Station scene forever. Yes, this book is very sad, but also there's a lot of publishing industry gossip. After you read it, I highly recommend listening to her interview on the Longform podcast.

Tom Lake, Ann Patchett - Some people, including people I know, did not enjoy this novel, and I simply can't relate. I loved every page, every character, every relationship, the Michigan setting, learning about the play Our Town and sewing and harvesting cherries. I loved it so much that I'm going to see Our Town on Broadway next month; Katie Holmes is playing Mrs. Webb and my first thought was, "Wow.....Joey Potter aged out of playing Emily, we are all so old." Thank you, Ann Patchett!

[cinamun]

Is it really the dick? It feels like Mercy is punishing herself for something; she sabotages progress at every opportunity. It's true that Bishop ain't worth shit, and is an intimidating, manipulative fucker, but I'm getting the feeling that their relationship is a mutually beneficial one, and good sex is just a byproduct. He's made a hobby out of being creepy and controlling and she's made a hobby out of feeling like shit, at a fucking loss, and like she's on the verge of losing everything.

I agree with what a number of other people have said about a person's physical and mental ability to extricate themselves from an abusive situation not being as simple as just getting up and being gone. And I do believe Mercy is suffering from that affliction, but my thoughts are tethered to when you said that this is what Mercy believes she deserves.

Why? Why does she believe that she deserves this?

Because the why would explain why she was ripe for the picking from the easy target tree that Bishop was scoping. I mean, she was LOVED. How do you go from being so loved to feeling like the diametric opposite state of being is what you're worthy of? What does she believe she did to deserve Bishop? And not just Bishop, but what he represents? Because I have a feeling that he is simply a delivery system for the struggle and turmoil; and it only helps that he looks the way he does.

Bishop truly has nothing to offer her except for a perpetually fucked up sense of self and the dick, I guess, but let's not even compare it to her short-lived fuck off Bishop era and what could have come from that taking hold. Let's talk about what happens after she loses everything.

Will Bishop still even be interested? He may love the pussy, but I'm pretty sure he loves the control more. And what appeal will Mercy have for him when she has nothing competing for her attention? How will he satisfy his desire to conquer once he wins? They don't have a relationship of substance, so it's not like she'll be able to console herself with him if she gets disowned.

Mercy has got problems and this is not a bootstrap situation; someone needs to save her so she can then start saving herself (fake it til you make it). But none of that will matter if they don't get to the bottom of how she got there in the first place. Indya can take her to the club, make way for alternative dick, and help Mercy remind herself of what safe, sane, and consensual interactions are like, but those are only replacements, things to occupy the time she would otherwise be surrendering to Bishop (and her--assumed--guilt). It's time for some therapy, and not the good doctor; no offense to him, of course, but she needs to schedule some time with a Professional Black Woman™ that also happens to be a psychiatrist. I really want that for her.

I know here be drama, so the road is long, made longer by detours and double-backs (and arched backs), but good grief, I know I will weep if when Mercy reaches that day.

WE ARE BACK IN SESSION!!!!

Okay first paragraph:

You are ABSOLUTELY correct. When Mercy was first introduced, and as we learned more about this mysterious mother of the man Hope would marry, we learned that she feels an extraordinary amount of guilt for the passing of her husband. She has internalized that guilt, she cut off her friends, she thought if she had maybe taken him to different specialists, fought harder on his behalf, that Jackson Carruthers, Jazz Pianist would still be alive. Part of her feels deserving of the punishment and I agree that sex is the byproduct. Keeping in mind that Bishop is a narcissist, a literal walking diagnosis, sex is not only a byproduct, but a tool.

The parts after the first paragraph:

The podcast was a very key moment in Mercy's part of this saga. Yes, he is attractive and dominant, older and wiser. Its the fact that all she's really known is a strict upbringing, her late husband and the jazz scene. She is absolutely naieve and was most certainly ripe. Maybe she thinks that Bishop is the way men are. Maybe her father was a control freak narcissist POS. I can't call it.

As far as when its over, its over when Bishop says its over. And if he decides that its over, maybe this is the part where she unzips her skinsuit and dances around evilene's headquarters, you feel me?

*IF* she were to lose everything, she might snap and that's what the folks mean when they say they can't wait for pixie haircut Mercy to arrive.

I, too, want healthy arched backs for Mercy and a good dose of that healthy healing that can only come from The Professional Black Woman™. As you know, we'll stay tuned to see if she gets that. In the meantime, we have Indya who is at least one example of what a real loving relationship can be.

[selkiewife]

I absolutely LOVE Aegon's dream. I love how it introduces such internal conflict into House Targaryen (the idea of the "dreams" vs "dragons" as Daemon says.) The idea that these prophesies are true and yet the interpretations aren't always- for example the relentless quest for a trueborn son to save the day (when it will be bastards and women.) I love how the dreams both save (from The Doom) House Targaryen and tear them apart as well- The show version of the Dance. The dreams themselves are the classic "grey character," like the dragons themselves- both the "grief and glory" of their house as Maester Aemon says. I LOVE that Aegon's dream comes directly from George R.R. Martin:

He discussed it in this interview at around the 2:35 mark.

Ryan Condal also said that George told him about the dream during their first meetings in his interview for the Game of Thrones Official Podcast Heirs of the Dragon Episode at the 57 minute mark.

And it is also discussed in this article:

“That actually came from [Martin] … He told us very early on in the room — just as he does, just casually mentioned the fact that Aegon the Conqueror was a dreamer who saw a vision of the White Walkers coming across the wall and sweeping over the land with cold and darkness. So, with his permission, of course, we infused that into the story because it was such a great way to create resonance with the original show.”

I'll probably be blogging about this more as I continue to have more thoughts about it and as I continue my rewatch of HOTD. But I wanted to make a post with the above links so I could find it again if I needed to.

btw: I'll probably be posting more about hotd so if you don't like that, blacklist please! Also blacklist the ships you can't stand. But I really do welcome discussions. Kind of WAY tired about the current trend of no one talking to each other and all of us just existing in our own echo chambers. So yeah, even if you want to be like "well I hate Aegon's dream" let's discuss!

[denimbex1986]

'Andrew Scott is back on our screens in the hotly-anticipated fantasy drama film, All of Us Strangers, in which he stars opposite Normal People's Paul Mescal. In the new film, Andrew plays screenwriter Adam who has a chance encounter with his mysterious neighbour Harry, leading to a blossoming romance between the pair.

Andrew is a household name across the nation thanks to his various roles on stage and screen, including in the BBC dramas Fleabag and Sherlock. But how much do you know about the star behind the scenes? Find out more about Andrew's family life here...

Is Andrew Scott in a relationship?

While Andrew keeps his personal life very private, it is thought that he is currently single after splitting from his long-term partner, writer Stephen Beresford, in 2019.

Previously chatting on the How to Fail podcast about relationships back in January 2020, he said: "You learn from people. It’s not about the length of time you spend with somebody. My life is different now. I feel like my attitude towards relationships and my attitude towards myself and sexuality and all that stuff has changed, and that came about from having the courage to be on my own for a bit, quite a scary thing to do.

"When I lived on my own for the first time, I found it really difficult. I feel proud that I’ve spent time by myself because it certainly wasn’t easy."

Andrew has also opened up about his sexuality, telling The Independent: "Mercifully, these days people don't see being gay as a character flaw. But nor is it a virtue, like kindness. Or a talent, like playing the banjo. It's just a fact. Of course, it's part of my make-up, but I don't want to trade on it."

While Andrew likes to maintain his privacy when it comes to his romantic life, he did share some words of wisdom with his co-star Paul following the Aftersun star's split from musician Phoebe Bridgers.

During an interview with Esquire last year, Paul revealed the love advice Andrew shared with him. Quoting his co-star, Paul said: "The only thing you’re left with after love is grief. Which is, like, a bleak thing, but I think it’s just a fact."

The two actors clearly developed a strong friendship whilst filming All of Us Strangers, which premieres in UK cinemas on 26 January. The new fantasy film, which is loosely based on the 1987 Japanese novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada, follows lonely screenwriter Adam, who lives in the same apartment complex as Harry, a happy-go-lucky man who gets pulled into Adam's world.

As their romance blossoms, Adam finds himself drawn back to his childhood home, where he sees his parents at the same age as he is, living their lives just like they did 30 years ago before they were killed in a car crash.'