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wraithdance · 8 days ago

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I wanna touch on a couple things I noticed from the asks that are being sent regarding the current discourse. About a month ago I received this ask, wanting me to 'name, names' after I made some generalized post about something or another (probs racism per usual because that's been consistent)

What I don't make clear outside of the vetted and trusted people I speak to daily, is I usually send messages to the person I'm talking about in hopes to advise that something was not hitting. I’ve blocked a couple ppl whenever I feel like my point was dismissed because I don’t got the time baby

Occasionally, I'll do anon if I'm just not in the mood for potential issues if the ask gets answered publicly and the reason for that is what I'm about to show you.

This is an ask my mutual @kyletogaz got after expressing frustration about the situation/lack of apology and so is this and this. And this is a link to @ungodlybre post on all the asks she's gotten in the last few days after she commented on a post about the Mace fic. I just received an ask a few seconds ago yall can look at as well

This is the post my friend/mutual kiko made that I reblogged and essentially got the ball rolling on the current convo about how Mace/black characters are depicted in fiction. Kiko has been one of the few other poc people providing links and information on what the issue is with the fic.

I noticed the glaring tonal difference in how non black people like Kiko, who originally brought up the issue, are in comparison to the black female bloggers that I referred to earlier, after they expressed frustration about the new crop of fandom shit.

I couldn't find the ask that @/Fulltacs (a non black person) answered when asked about why the writer was getting heat, but I read the ask and it was actually pretty respectful towards fulltacs, while being incredibly dismissive/rude when referring to Bre (@/ungodlybre)

I've seen several of my white mutuals repeat in their tags/posts the issue about the fic and what not. I have yet to see them receive the kind of directly antagonistic asks from anons who claim to be black/poc with the intent to shut down or convince us to stop talking about the writer. I’m not gonna get into digital blackface or blackfishing but I have my doubts on these anons being racially black.

Overall this is all an example of something called racial gaslighting but specifically misogynoir

Misogynoir is a form of racial microaggression towards black women where race and gender meet. It usually stems from implicit bias, which is the reason why people had a problem with the fic in the first place. Not the damn kink. or even the unwitting use of an anti black slur.

The continued dismissing about word use/forgiving the author and the overall vitriolic tone asking these black women to educate or saying things like: ' You are a bully’ ‘shut up because it's not that big of a deal’, ‘the writer tried or I'm black and-' is just an example of how black women are spoken to on and outside the internet and why many of us have chosen to not directly say anything about racism outside of private messages.

It’s why Kiko and the mutual that dm’d @/auspicoustidings are latinas who’ve chosen to address the situation as an act of solidarity when Jess (kyletogaz) and I were excited to read the Mace fic and were unsettled by it

"the intersectional nature of Black women’s identities triggers a particularized stereotype or trope of the “Angry Black Woman” and explains how this trope is often invoked in aggressive encounters to deflect attention from the aggressor and to project blame onto the target." - A quote From this article

“racial microaggressions are subtle and everyday slights and insults that can include insensitive comments based on an array of racial assumptions … as well as the minimization or denial of the racialized experiences of people of color.” - From this study on Perceived Gendered Racial Microaggressions Experienced by Black Women.

I don’t have the time or the desire to do a crash course on misogynoir and the ways implicit bias shows up in real life and fandom. What I can say is if you need or want the visibly/vocally black people in this fandom to shut the fuck up right now, while non black people (including the author) are being afforded a sense of kindness/assumption of innocence and well doing for speaking up, than you are apart of an anti black problem

Those black bloggers said innocuous shit like “long suffering sigh” or “hate to see it” and are still getting hate and that is the reason we are saying many fics about black characters like Kyle who is often disregarded, make us uncomfortable . This kind of bias is a dog whistle only those who have been raised black/poc see irl and it’s present in the way people write fics.

My ask is for people to take a second and really ask yourselves if you think this is a safe space for Black/non black poc people to educate on racist tropes in writing and then I wanna know if you even realized that before I said something

#racial gaslighting at is best #with its sister misogynoir

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reorientation · 5 months ago

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zyn anon. sorry to spam your dms, i just have some updates i can't really share elsewhere lmao. only one of my irls know im fucking this boy but she doesn't know it was for nicotine pouches lmao

im not even "exchanging" my "services" for zyns anymore. i didn't like them at all, but id still occasionally ask for a tin or two here and there. to not let it get to his head ☺️. a month and a half later im just doing it for free 😒 he makes jokes now that im not even fucking him for product. and jokes that he got me addicted to him instead. so you were right about me becoming a budding addict for a straight mans cock.

we never had a convo about us being official, but he made it clear early on that he wants to be the only guy fucking me rn. i asked if he sleeps around with other girls, and he said he doesnt need to when im so eager for him. :/. he calls me his girlfriend in front of his roommate and gamer friends, too. but not to people we know mutually.

he's also a lot more affectionate now. we've been on an actual date, it was surprisingly romantic and really sweet, and not just me blowing him in his car. though I did after but that's not the point.

i pretty much dress exclusively femininely outside of our programs unisex uniform, i used run errands in boymode but im not even doing that anymore. i have a chosen name that can be shortened into something kinda feminine sounding so he just calls me that. even in front of classmates who dont know i have a pussy, and one that hes been inside of. and the "nickname" is catching on with our classmates too lol.

z anon. forgot to include the update. sorry, i ramble a lot.

i skipped my last two T shots ☺️ im still waiting on my iud appointment in a few weeks. unfortunately this also means i havent really been letting him inside me as often, since im still really scared of pregnancy especially this early on in this weird situation. i am blowing him a lot though lol. it's a win win for me since being on my knees for him with his cock down my throat is so damn hot, especially when he's kinda fucking my face and pulls my hair during it. but fuck its probably been at least a week since his cocks been in me and i miss it. a lot lol. hes so manly and strong, i miss how feminine i feel when im under him. his body would just inadvertently pin me in place, im painfully aware of how small and feminine i am in comparison to him. how truly heterosexual it all is.

but i cannot trust myself bro like i know even if i insist on him using a condom ill end up asking for him to take it off. if he doesnt outright refuse. and like it's so difficult because that turns me on more. i know ill end up having his dick in me sometime before I get my iud, i just gotta be responsible and power through the demons.

im still dysphoric through this situation, especially since stopping T and the fear of like. the few times hes cum in me before havimg a little more serious consequences. despite taking plan b after each time. but the horny part of my brain has never been happier. whenever i feel like backing out, i send him nudes or text him smth risky just for extra self encouragement. but he's on a camping vacation thing rn with his family, and the service is shit and i miss him 🥺 even outside of sex.

like I want to become his girlfriend, truly. and that would have me become a girl for him. which basically means becoming a girl fulltime. i guess that would actually just be going back to being a girl. all for a straight boy 🤦🏻

its hugely dysphoric but kinda nice, like a part of me hates how he's so much bigger and way more masculine than me without any effort, even outside of us having heterosexual sex. i get so dysphoric that he's taller, bigger, way stronger and just so clearly male. but apparently, i enjoy being a girl for him more than i hate it.

(Previously)

You know, Anon, this is awfully romantic.

I mean, listen to yourself. You got into this as a whore, offering to suck his dick for discounted nicotine pouches, but now you're pining over him, and wanting to be a proper girl so that you can be his girlfriend. You're definitely still a whore, but you're a whore with a heart of gold.

Not a smart whore, though. So scared of pregnancy, but you stopped your T before getting on real birth control, knowing that you can't stop yourself from begging for his bare cock. You're so desperate to be a good girl for him that you're consciously ramping up the risk of having his baby, just so that you can return to full femininity a little sooner.

You know, I got this anon after your last ask:

They're not quite right, in that this first update doesn't include a pregnancy announcement. But it's been a bit since you sent me this, and reading what you sent me, it's not hard to imagine you having already gotten started on the path to being a cute little baby mama to your straight boyfriend.

But even if you haven't... You're never going to be able to forget what this was like, will you? Losing your virginity to a straight man, and so easily losing your identity with it. Being pinned down by him with your legs spread and his bare cock in your pussy. The simple force of a man on top of you, and how simple it was to slip back into womanhood and welcome him in.

#reor: zyn anon #with long updates like this I usually can't address everything while still keeping it interesting #but I certainly enjoyed every bit of it <3 /#reor: anon life story #kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm girl #ftm detransition kink #ftm breeding

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feyravenchatter · 2 years ago

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So, I accidentally may have (very, very) roughly plotted another fic. It was not my fault, I swear. I fully blame Jason Mraz for this one, as it was I'm Yours that set it off to begin with.

This really is super rough, don't say I didn't warn you

·::·★·::·

Coffee shop/bar (yes it’s both) - lgbt flavored w/open mic

Bartender/barista/writer Keith (also wears glasses occasionally, which Lance thinks are f’ing adorable)

Musician Lance

Writer Keith

Comes in bc his family doesn't like the idea of him being a professional musician or bi, and it’s a space he knows they won’t know about

Mutual pining for a bit bc they're dumbasses

Lance is def wearing a denim jacket w/a bi pin

Shiro def gives Keith shit about Lance

Has to come to the conclusion himself (w/help from Veronica, who doesn’t speak to them much anymore outside her siblings after she came out in college) that his parents are toxic

Couple of hookups & makeout sessions leave Keith thoroughly confused

He eventually ends their unspoken arrangement bc of all the mixed signals

Lance talks things out w/Veronica (^^^^^), who convinces him to go low-contact with their parents at least for a little while and go after Keith

Which he does, catching him as the bar's closing for the night and Confessing in the parking lot

Mami overheard part of the convo btwn her children & confronts Lance when he gets home

Tells him that she's thought about it and that she just wants him to be safe and happy and that if it's ...not with a woman... then she's ok with that

She also understands if he still doesn't want much to do with his father since he's a bit more old school catholic

Lance says he'll think about it, but that he probably won't talk to his father much if he can avoid it

She asks him if he's seeing anyone and he tells her about Keith

She's still a little unsure, but he's happy, so she lets it go

Lance still goes to open mic nights & they take their newly solidified relationship slowly

Until they're confronted by lances father one night when Keith drops him off

Lance pulls back, afraid that Keith won't want to be with him bc of that

Keith's the one to reach out first reassuring Lance that he's not breaking up with him bc of his parents

Mami finds out about the confrontation and a fight starts

This is at the same time as Luis shows up with Lisa and the kids

He sends them off and goes inside with Lance, backs up his mother and baby brother and tells his father to pull his head out of his ass and grow up

Mami tells him not to speak to his father that way, but Luis says that he's earned this and that she knows he's right

He gets Lance out of the house with the excuse of getting Lisa & the kids

In the car, he tells Lance to come stay with them for a while to get away from their father and the tension he knows will be between their parents

It takes a little but Lance finally gives in

About 3 weeks later, during which time Luis has gotten to know Keith a bit (he's also been formally introduced to the rest of his siblings who have decided they're adopting him) Lance is back for another event at the coffeeshop during the day

He's been a bit hesitant (slowing their relationship down even more after the blowup with his parents but decides that he doesn't want to wait anymore and tells Keith in the way he knows best - through music - and forgoes playing one of his own songs in favor of Jason Mraz

Keith gets it immediately and by the end of the song, so does everyone else

Klance are so focused on each other neither of them noticed Lance's father standing by the door, or when he stepped out just before the song finished

Shiro kicks Keith out from behind the bar, sending him out to the café floor. He ends up just standing in the middle, between tables watching. Or he would be if Lance could keep his eyes off him

Lance doesn’t even bother putting his guitar down, just swings it around to his back to rush the few yards between himself and Keith, where he says that he can’t keep waiting and fuck whatever his father has to say about it. The next person in line for the event takes over the stage area, a bohemian punk (90s-style sundress w/combat boots, leather jacket) lesbian with a ukulele, and quietly hands Lance’s guitar case to Shiro over the bar before starting her own performance

Keith makes the suggestion that they get out of there, and Shiro calls out that he has the case and reminds Keith that all his shit is still in the break room. Finally on their way out, Lance asks if Keith drove in, and he says that Shiro did, which Lance then says means that he gets to keep Keith for as long as he wants for the rest of the day

Lance’s father had been waiting outside, hoping he wouldn’t be staying at the coffee shop for too long. Keith takes Lance’s hand, grounding him, but he still asks why his father’s there. He says that he and mami had several very long conversations, and he eventually realized that he couldn’t hold with that part of his faith anymore. Mami made him realize that he was getting to the point of losing one of his children permanently, and that if it went on long enough, he was going to alienate all of his children. Family is more important than his faith, and while he’s not giving it up, he’s not giving up his children either, and apologizes for how he’s been, and hopes that Lance can forgive him for it eventually. Lance says that he has to think about it, but that he and Keith have plans and he needs some time

When asked after getting to Lance’s car, he says that his plan for the rest of the day was that he didn’t have a plan and just wanted time with Keith, doing anything and everything. Keith says that maybe they should just leave the car there in the shop’s parking lot. He knows that Lance doesn’t know the area as well as he does, and takes his bf on something of a walking tour of the city’s queer quarter. They end up at the end of the day in the park right between the shop and the ocean. The only other thing that’s still bothering Lance is his parents lack of support for him wanting to chase his dream of being a professional musician. Keith says that while having his parents support would be great to have, he does have the support of his siblings, friends, and especially his boyfriend. Lance knows he’s right, and decides fuck it, he’ll never know if he doesn’t try it, and just hopes that his parents will come around eventually.

A few days later, and Lance is at Keith’s city apartment, his exposed brick bohemian writer’s loft a good backdrop for his first video, which then gets posted to various social media.

A few years later, and Keith is there in the front row for Lance’s first major tour, starting in their hometown. He’s already published his first novel and already working on another. Lance may not be selling out in every stop on the tour, but it’s far better than projected, and he’s not forgetting his coffee shop roots, playing a second, shorter show in a queer-friendly spot in every city the next day. Keith is going on tour with him, writing while on the road.

But the last night spent in their apartment (Lance moved in with Keith 6 months after the apology from his father – they’ve made up, with both him and Veronica, and his are parents fully on-board with his music career) is the important one. They’re leaving after the set at their shop the next day, and this will be the last night in their own bed for a while. Lance is wiped out from the show, but Keith won’t let him go to sleep just yet. Both in their pajamas, the only light the moonlight and the strings of warm fairy lights, Keith pulls small a leather box from the back of his nightstand and proposes to his emotional boyfriend. Lance tackles Keith to the bed, and Keith laughs, asking if he can take that as a yes? Of course it is, you bastard.

#multiverse theory #my writing #coffeeshop musician au #keith kogane #lance mcclain #keith x lance #klance #musician lance #writer keith #barista keith #bartender keith #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender

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codenamed-queenie · 5 years ago

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#BatsInQuarantine

I am going insane. So I poured my restlessness into one long and very detailed post and got super into it. Please enjoy this hot mess.

The Justice League, being the well-meaning virus-proof Super Friends that they are, took one good look at the news, one good look at their non-powered friends Ollie, Bruce, and their families, and collectively decided that these normal humans must be Protected At All Costs.

Now, keep in mind, Bruce is never one to roll over when it comes to being benched.

However, he understands the importance of social distancing. He knows he needs to set a good example for his kids, and keep up appearances as Gotham’s Most Responsible Multi-Billionaire.

So. Quarantine it is.

But how are his kids handling it?

Dick -

100% on board in the beginning. Gotta do the Responsible Thing. Gotta set a Good Example. Besides, guys, this is gonna be Fun. Quality Family Time is always a Must.

He lasted 2 days.

Then he started to get twitchy.

And as everyone knows? A Trapped Dick Grayson is a Feral Dick Grayson.

He bounces off the walls.

Literally.

“I have to climb.”

“Dick, no.”

“I have to climb everything.”

Has scaled the manor 16 times already. Has climbed the chandelier. The banister. Bruce. The roof. The Cave. Anything in the house that’s been bolted down and especially anything that hasn’t.

Duke found him clinging to the wall 10 ft off the ground like Spiderman and screamed so loud it shattered glass.

Desperate for news of the outside.

He thrives off of it like a starving man.

Was the one to suggest he and Barbara take a break to Social Distance from each other (”Sorry, babe, kissing spreads germs”) and experienced Instant Regret(TM) approximately 5 minutes after.

The Family has labelled him a Flight Risk Level 1 (Most likely to say f**k it and make a break for the outside world)

Jason -

Accidentally got trapped inside the manor with the others when Bruce called Shutdown. If he had his way, he’d be chilling in his favorite safe-house right now, binging The Witcher with Roy and Artemis, and not worrying about finding a stray brother in his sock drawer.

But he’s nothing if not an opportunist.

The way he sees it, Jason has 3 options:

Self Improvement

Self Isolation (See Duke, Cass, and Damian)

Descension Into Madness (See Dick and Steph)

And, well, he always wanted to try a few things. Now he’s got the free time to do it.

So he settles on baking.

Alfred’s got enough food and raw ingredients stored up to feed an army. (Not because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder in times like these. But because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder all the time. Just try feeding 11+ teenagers sometime.)

Uses recipes he finds off Google.

His first few attempts are, in a word, ‘tragic’.

Alfred slips him a few of his recipe cards, and Jason suddenly starts seeing Results.

Turns out he’s pretty good at this baking thing once he gets the hang of it.

Hope everyone’s okay eating nothing but pie, macaroons, biscuits, and whatever else Jason whips up.

Cause that’s gonna be the only food left by the time he’s done.

Barbara -

Self-quarantined with her dad.

They’ve been binge-watching classic black and white movies together.

It’s a fun time, but she’s started to get a little antsy. Loving her dad and wanting to be around him 24/7 are, understandably, mutually exclusive.

Calls the manor to video-chat every day.

For her sanity just as much as theirs.

Gives everyone little challenges to film on their phones and send in. She makes compilations of everyone’s submissions so they can all watch and laugh together.

Bonus points for Creativity

One comp shows the family trying to drop Mentos into coke bottles.

Dick did a handstand, and dropped his Mento from the second story balcony.

Tim did it wearing the Batman cowl. The soda exploded into his face, and the rest of the video is just Bruce’s Shrieking.

Stephanie tried it, but the bottle tipped. Everyone on camera screamed as the bottle rocketed through the front window.

She spends most of her calls having one-on-one convos with Dick.

They’ve come up with little code phrases so they can be Cheesy even with family members lurking in the background.

She thinks the way he clings to the monitor is cute.

Almost like he’s giving her a hug through the screen.

(It’s easier than letting herself worry about his mental state, at least)

Tim -

Oh this boy.

Freaked out for the first five minutes before he decided ‘hey wait, Bruce is letting me stay in my pajamas all day? Noice.’

Now he’s just vibing.

The rest of his family is Low-Key shielding him.

He Has No Spleen, you see.

Steph: “Someone could cough on him and he could die!”

He just goes about his day, playing Animal Crossing like there’s no tomorrow, tinkering on projects, taking naps, etc. Living his best life.

Meanwhile there’s always someone lurking behind him, keeping watch, keeping him safe.

Dick sneezed within 5 feet of Tim once (the fact that he was on top of the dusty bookshelf Tim was perusing is irrelevant)

Jason still full-body tackled him the second Tim’s back was turned.

No one with any symptoms--

Like, any symptoms. They don’t even have to be Corona-related.

--is allowed within 10 feet of Tim.

Tim has been wandering the manor for weeks, now, without seeing another human being.

(He sees Dick on the ceiling sometimes, but that doesn’t really count)

He’s been trying increasingly drastic pranks and shenanigans to draw someone, anyone, out.

But it doesn’t matter how many times he steals Damian’s sword, or sets fire to Jason’s brownie bites.

Nobody wants to risk it.

Cass -

No one has seen her since quarantine started.

Everyone is approximately 87% sure she’s somewhere in the manor though

Because she does eat the meals Alfred leaves out for her.

Or at least someone does, at any rate.

(Jason and Santa top the running suspects list)

Santa was Steph’s suggestion. For some reason it snowballed.

It’s assumed that Cass misunderstood the meaning of ‘social distancing’ and took it too far.

But no one knows for sure.

She is Tim’s Guardian Angel.

People who so much as clear their throats a little too loudly anywhere near him suddenly wake up on a different floor of the house four hours later.

Duke came closest to spotting her while he was up in the attic.

Either that, or there’s another Creepy Sister everyone forgot to tell him about living up there.

She is silent, and watchful, sticking to the shadows, but she does leave the occasional note out to brighten her siblings’ day.

Things like ‘helo i love u’ and ‘hop u ar ok’ mostly.

She is bound and determined to protect her family from this invisible threat, no matter the cost.

Steph -

Like Dick, she was Super Pumped at first.

(Just kind of showed up at Wayne Manor before quarantine was enacted. The original purpose of her visit is unclear, but regardless, she’s Trapped.)

Also Like Dick, her descent into madness was swift.

She is impossible to pin down.

Not like Cass or Damian, who’ve stayed off the grid, and are therefore Untraceable.

No. She’s impossible to pin down, because she never stops moving.

Switches seamlessly between Zumba on top of the Giant Dinosaur in the Batcave, and furiously knitting Alfred (the Cat) a sweater with a pair of Tim’s used chopsticks.

Braided everyone’s hair while they were asleep.

Even Bruce’s.

She tried to do Tim’s, but somehow blacked out and regained consciousness in the attic.

When she woke up with a scream and a furiously twitching eye, she startled Duke out of his Makeshift Fort he built out of old cardboard boxes and antique furniture. He’s had to resort to finding a new hiding place.

Sometimes, on the rare occasions she does sit still, staring off into the distance, she’ll suddenly start laughing hysterically. This may last between thirty seconds and thirty minutes, depending entirely on how long it’s been since she’s knitted a cat sweater or done cartwheels through every room in the house.

Blew up the greenhouse out back, somehow.

Everyone has agreed not to talk about it.

Some people were built to handle prolonged time inside their homes.

Stephanie Brown is not that way.

Damian -

Damian Wayne Cannot Be Contained.

At least not inside the house.

He took off thirty-six hours into quarantine.

Thanks to the security equipment around the borders of the Wayne Estate, he can’t escape the grounds.

(He’s tried and failed multiple times. Jason and Bruce have a running bet on how many times the perimeter alarms will go off per day.)

(Jason is winning.)

He wanders the grounds with Titus as his only companion.

The two of them run laps, practice drills, and find ways to occupy their time.

No one’s entirely sure what those ways are.

In fact, nobody knows exactly where Damian is at any given time.

Only that he is Out There.

And he’s the best security system Wayne Manor’s ever had.

So far, he’s stopped five groups of civilians scaling the perimeter walls before the lasers and electric nets even have a chance to deploy.

They were trying to break in and steal supplies.

(Even ones they already had in surplus. Like Toilet Paper.)

He’s also stopped Dick from escaping twelve (12) times.

Drags him back by his shirt collar and deposits him on the welcome mat.

Usually with a note for Alfred/Jason, requesting more fruit tarts.

Duke -

Did not leave the attic for two weeks.

Then Steph discovered his hiding spot (read: was dumped there by Cassandra) which forced him to relocate to the basement.

Yes, it turns out Wayne Manor does have a basement.

This was a surprise to Duke, who always thought that the Batcave was Bruce Wayne’s basement.

Alfred keeps him supplied with all the necessities:

i.e. food, magazines, assorted pastries from Jason’s latest batch, usually straight out of the oven.

Duke also snagged the Manor’s Alexa.

She has become a sort of ‘Wilson’ to Duke’s ‘Chuck Noland’.

She is his only comfort. His only ally.

He’s determined to wait out this quarantine, doing his best to avoid the others.

Duke has seen these people under pressure.

He knows exactly what he’s dealing with.

Duke: “Alexa is the only motherf****r in this madhouse I ever respected.”

*offended butler noises from the other room*

Duke: “And also Alfred.”

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a-day-in-the-life-of-dulce · 5 years ago

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How my biggest heartbreak changed my life

September 5th, 2016, was a regular day in my life. Weather was great, school was just around the corner, as well as my favorite “sweater weather season.” I was with my best guy friend that day and we made plans to go out to the bar that night before the semester started. I got ready in a matter of seconds, headed over to his place to pick him up, and before we knew it, we were at the Hub Again Bar drinking away.

Tinder was a big thing for me at the time. Couple weeks prior to this day, I had recently broken up with my six year boyfriend for maybe the thousandth time and I felt like it was indeed time to move on. After a bunch left swipes, I finally found someone who I thought was cute and wanted to “talk” too. Who would have known this was the day I was going to meet the love of my life.

After a few drinks and talking to my friend, let’s call him, Bill, I found the courage to invite the tinder guy, Anthony, over to have a drink with us. He ACTUALLY came! I met him outside to help him look for parking and my god, was I nervous. He was even more attractive in person. We finally found parking and entered the bar to where my friend was at. I introduced them and Bill knowing how much of an introvert I am asked Anthony to play a few games of pool.

Night went on and I made the occasional small talk. After a few hours it was time to go and he drove me home. We stopped at the corner across my building and it was time to say our goodbyes. He must’ve liked my quietness or something because he gave me a long, soft, sweet kiss and said we’d see each other again soon. When he kissed me all I could feel were sparks everywhere. Who would have known.

Later that week I saw him a couple times. He traveled 45 minutes to me and back home every time he would come see me. This guy was really making the effort. He was amazing, charming, such a gentleman, and made me feel like a queen every second of the day, even if we were miles apart. I got to know him a little more each day and I was starting to fall in love.

A couple days later, September 11, 2016, my brother passed away unexpectedly. I didn’t know who to turn to and I eventually called him for a bit of comfort. Had some days to myself, family, and friends, and after a few days we hung out again. I met his family and they were the sweetest and very comforting. We had a great connection and bit by bit I was opening up to them.

Since the day I met him, which at this point was only a few weeks, I felt as if though I had known him for months. I had already fallen in love with him but I wasn’t about to admit that. He’d probably think I was crazy since we basically just met. We ended up having a convo about our feelings and what was going on because a few of my insecurities were coming in. Our feelings were mutual and on October 1st, 2016, we made it official. He wrote a cute “agreement” which we both signed and just like that we were in a relationship. That was the greatest day of my life.

Days, months, went by and I was still in the honeymoon phase. Of course we had our problems once in a while, all relationships do. I, however, do admit I was insecure and jealous from time to time. I remember one of the worst days was at his mom’s house for his nephew’s birthday. A really pretty girl came in and he was, in a way, all over her. He didn’t introduce me, basically didn’t acknowledge my existence and so I got mad and called him out on it. Huge fight but that was that.

Another day was with his sister’s friend. Now she was always trying to get his attention. He wouldn’t give it to her per say, but there were times where he acknowledged her and that unfortunately made me furious. There’s no explanation as to why I was that way, or excuse, I should say, but I was just afraid of losing him.

A month or two later, on June, 4th, 2017, he broke up with me. No explanation, no arguing had happened in weeks, just a random day he broke up with me. Just. Like. That. I was devastated and extremely heartbroken. I was lost, I felt as if my whole world came crashing down. He stopped talking to me and I didn’t know a thing about him. I would say six months passed by and we spoke again. My naive self went back in hopes of him giving me another chance. After a while he stopped talking to me again and there I went back to square one.

This toxic habit of mine, trying to get him back, happened about three times, then I found out he had left me for a new person each time. That ruined me until the third time. I wasn’t surprised anymore and I expected it. It still hurt but I was already “used to” it. I was dumb to think he would change and want to be with me. That was him being selfish and knowing he had power over me because I “loved” him. I learned the hard way.

Til this day, two years, about to be three years later, I haven’t been with anyone else in that level. Yes, I have had my fun, met people, dated a couple, but no one has been able to take his place. I wouldn’t say I am still in love with him because those feelings are long gone, but even though I’m not hurting anymore, I still can’t find myself being with anyone else after him. I feel scared for the most part. I feel as if though I will ruin everything again and be left because of it. I don’t want to go through that heartache again. It was the worst I had experienced. A deep connection I had with someone ended in a matter of seconds. I rather be alone than to go through that again. That’s how my biggest heartbreak changed my life. I’m afraid of opening up to someone, afraid of allowing someone to have the power to destroy me emotionally, which in all honesty, it shouldn’t be that way.

Maybe I’ll fall in love again, eventually, with the right person. Someone who I’m not afraid of opening up to but until then, I’ll focus on me, my happiness and my future. Everything else is in God’s hands and I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.

#heartbreak #timehealsall

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herestheteaig · 4 years ago

Text

What should I do??

Hi, I don’t really know if anyone will see this but I'm gonna try, just incase. If you do choose to respond, you can be as brutally honest & unbiased as you’d like, I’m not easily offended.

I am f19, and have been in a relationship with m18 for almost 6 years. For the sake of his privacy lets call him Joe.

lets call me Mina.

Backstory:

- Joe & I have been together since we were 13, we went to the same secondary school & college (for Americans, same middle school & high school)

- we had been close friends since we were like 11, very visibly super close friends in school.

- when we started dating at the end of our second year, we spent the entire summer together.

- when we got back he just... pretended I didn't exist????

- like tf?

- anyway, we were still hanging out outside of school, but my school separate the year based on grades in third year, so I was placed in X and he was placed in Y, therefore we had 0 classes together

- though, in the corridors, at lunch, at break, etc, he’d pretend I didn't exist???

- he also told me not to tell anyone we were dating???

- this lasted maybe 2 years? until I got really mad and he started acknowledging me in our final year of secondary school & people knew we were dating.

- his mum ended up convincing me to apply to the same college as him, we did different courses so rarely saw each other, but occasionally took the train together on one of our mutual starting times.

- now, I go to university about 2 hours away from our hometown and live there, he doesn’t go to university at all.

the catfish:

- of course the initial: “don’t tell anyone we’re dating”

- when I was still 13, I did something SUPER childish, though no regrets and made a fake iMessage account so he’d think someone was texting him.

- I used Loren Gray’s picture because this boy had NO social medias, he was SO anti it.

- anyway, pretended I had gotten his number on Facebook, and that I had seen him at athletics (he’s an athlete) and I thought he was attractive and asked if he had a girlfriend

- then we went through this long “no I don't” “jk I do” back and forth bullshit.

- oh he also didn't tell me about her until I said she had messaged me, but whatever idc but that's the first piece of info.

Sabrina:

- next, I must've been 15?? idk exactly how old I am

- I do not and have NEVER cared who my boyfriend talks to, girl, boy, non-binary, whatever, I don't give a shit.

- so I'm on his phone, taking snapchats to save to his memories and I kept seeing this girls name pop up.

- let’s call her Sabrina.

- I had noticed he talks to her a LOT, but he never had mentioned her, but eh its whatever... probably just one of his friends, right?

- I used to just message his friends on his phone so I went onto her chat intending to be like “heyyyy bro, nice to meet you my name is Mina, do you wanna be friends?”

- but I'm seeing messages talking about: “what age would you have sex?”

- side note: he and I both lost our virginities when we were 15, later this year but at this point we had both been “handsy” down there???

- anyway she says “18″, he says “you know its legal at 16 tho right?

- “yeah, but still 18″

- “why not 16″

- whatever I don't remember the entire convo.

- so I was like hmm this is a bit sus and scrolled up to see their messages.

- “do you have a girlfriend” “no” “actually yes” “im joking, no.”

- so im like wait what???

- anyway, I don't mention it for like 7 months? he denies it before saying what he said was innocent and he was just curious in a friendly way.

- I let it go.

Kendall:

- I was probably 16 or almost 17 at this point

- again, for privacy, we’ll call this girl Kendall.

- Kendall and I have a mutual friend, we’ll call her Tiana.

- Tiana and I were best friends.

- One day, Tiana messaged me and said hey, my friend Kendall was speaking to Joe & realised wait isn't that Mina’s boyfriend and sent me these screenshots as soon as she realised.

- I had probably seen her name in his recent chats but didn't care enough to ask about it.

- anyway, the screenshots were just him being super flirty with emojis? like sounds childish but you know what I mean.

- and he was joking about “go to bed its past your bed time” and she was like “no why are you chatting, you’re up too”

- then. THEN. THIS BOI HAS THE AUDACITY.

- “shush and listen to your daddy”

- wHAT.

- I immediately confront him and he denies knowing anyone of that name at first, before saying oh I didn't mean it like that, it was like a mum/ dad joke we have

- so again, I let it go

Adrien:

- back in school, my maths teacher sent myself and this boy to the study area which is an open space in the school, visible from all levels.

- lets call him Adrien.

- note: adrien and I were both quite smart and in top set for most classes, our surnames are next to eachother on the register so were often seated beside each other.

- we were very very close FRIENDS

- so we’re doing work, chatting a bit- whatever

- at some point, he jokingly pushes my head away, idk what I said, I do not remember.

- note: the entire school is IN CLASS.

- a few seconds later, I feel my phone vibrate, sneak it out of my pocket to see a text from Joe: “why is Adrien touching your face?”

- I look around and no ones there, anyway he still gets mad about it now.

Other stuff:

- he used to threaten to kill himself if i broke up with him

- or if we were arguing he’d say he can do this anymore, imply suicide, the leave his phone for ages and get super mad if I contacted his sister or mum to find out if he was safe.

- sometimes i’d see him joking around on his sisters snapchat story when I'm panicking because he said he’d kill himself.

- I'm not materialistic, but the fact that he rarely would get me bday/xmas presents was kinda upsetting. (he has a lot of money, my family is broke but I make the BIGGEST deal out of xmas and his bday and everything)

- would work extra hours so he’d feel so so spoiled on xmas and his bday.

- once he got me just a xmas themed toilet roll on Christmas, last year he gave me a small jar of vegan candies.

- I think he acknowledged valentines day twice in our relationship?

- which was sad because pre-relationship, valentines was my fave day of the year & I'd hand out heart shaped chocolates to everyone at school.

- often blames his mental health on me.

- will cut me off and then act like I'm the one not listening to HIS problems.

- if another guy has a crush on ME, then he gets mad at me?

- every boy in my college class admitted to having a crush on me at some point, awkward but my course was reliant on group projects so I couldn't just block them??? they all knew I had a bf

Extra:

- I have never orgasmed ONCE in my entire life... rip

- when I say he is ACTUALLY jealous, I mean like ACTUALLY jealous of me having a crush on like... cartoon characters?? (& also anime characters)

- has said sexist and transphobic things, that I DRAGGED him for.

- I think he's very manipulative and also immature.

- hates that I'm smart

- HATES that my love language is acts of service. like HATES it.

- there's more but I won't bore you.

mini story:

- we went to Paris for my 18th birthday.

- he tried to break up with me right before because “he feels like shit compared to other guys”

- I was crying down the phone (I never ever cry) begging him to reconsider

- we went to Paris, it was nice.

- note: we also had sex there

- and then we get back and he says: “I hated you the entire time” and other stuff but I don't remember

this is according to him:

- I think I'm right all the time and think im little miss perfect

- I put in no effort

- I do not listen

- I just need to realise that all my male friends are only my friends because they want to fuck me.

- I do not care about anything

- I assume things

- I compare him to other guys????

- I make him feel like shit

(his words, though I disagree)

- we have been in a relationship for almost 6 years

- he’s my friend

- I love his family so much, I've watched his nephew grow up and I text his sister and I just love them.

- though he isn’t my type on paper, I do find him attractive

- we have somewhat similar kinks

- my family seem to like him

- not gonna lie, we’d make cute babies.

- we both enjoy sports and also he sometimes plays video games with me (I'm an avid gamer, I twitch stream and play PC, PS4 & Switch, he sometimes will play fortnite or Mario kart with me)

- we have this cute cheerleader/ athlete thing which I like

- oh, right, pls don't judge this but its important to me to raise my children plant-based until they're old enough to decide for themselves- he isn't plant-based but is 100% onboard which is very important to me.

- has done cute things for me before like turn up at my house with my fave candy or buy an extra pack of gum/ drink for me.

- this sounds irrelevant, but I DO love to party/rave but I do not drink alcohol, I actually have a weird phobia of it, though I would 100% get high

- Joe and I both do not drink and although that's not something id look for in a s/o, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one lmao.

- my first & only relationship

ANWYAY, we’ve been arguing for months, if you see this what do you think I should do? would it be overreacting to break up? I would still wanna be his friend because I care but I dunno what to do

#advice #i need help #relationship #toxic #toxic relationship #please help #relationship advice #help #send help

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donofdepravity · 4 years ago

Text

Please read my rules before interacting, weather you are a prospective RP-partner, or a Spectator. All Blog navigation is centralized on my Links page, which is also mobile friendly.

Greetings: -This blog is R18+ because of NSFW. Being upfront. -You can call me Rave. They/Them pronouns. I am 25+ (Timezone is The Future™) -If you interact with me, I will assume you have read these rules in full. (And vice versa if I interact with you.) -This blog is Indie & Private. (No RP group affiliation. If you follow me I’ll check out your blog, but I won’t follow everyone back.) -FF7 characters preferred, but I will consider crossovers. Anons are welcome! -Regarding OCs, I will only be interacting with OCs of current mutuals. Any interactions outside of this are purely at my own discretion. Do not request otherwise. (I used to just be selective with OCs but recently I’ve had a difficult time with an OC mun not respecting that and pushing interactions.) -No drama / rudeness / hostility. I will not publish asks stirring trouble, and will block people if need be. -I lose track of Tumblr IMs easily, so if you are IM only and I seem like I’ve forgotten our convo, hmu again so I get a refreshed notification.) -Discord is available for mutuals. Please, I prefer it over Tumblr IMs!

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Ships -Where to even start. Uh. So ironically I’m not particularly looking to ship on this blog since he’s not a primary muse of mine. But ships will be considered within a plot context. -My Corneo is primarily hetero. He won’t knowingly fuck a guy, but he will appreciate a pretty boy, and he’s not above wanking off to, or with other men. Maybe if he were drunk enough he’d fuck a guy. -In general as a person I am a Multi-Shipper. If for some disturbing reason you ship your muse with Corneo, you’re welcome to tell me. But ask first rather than presume. He’s got a rep for one-night-stands with his brides of course, but I will still be selective threading. -Romantic involvement however he is much more selective, so there will be chemistry required. -UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE: ALL SHIPS, EVEN WITHIN A VERSE, EXIST IN SEPARATE MINI ALTERNATE VERSES. -Please do not pre-establish a relationship with my muse without discussing it with me. Talk to me first if you are interested in that.

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My rules used to be so short, but unfortunately certain encounters, and trying to avoid confrontations has led to it growing into a monstrosity, sorry. If you do anything in breach of them, I’ll bring it up with you. If a reasonable solution cannot be reached, I have no qualms blocking people.

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#DonOfDepravity || Info

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theclaravoyant · 7 years ago

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I find it funny that fans will moan about every conversation Jemma has with others about Fitz but don’t notice (or fail to acknowledge) that 90% of Fitz’s conversation with others (and his storylines and persona in general) are about Jemma. That’s why 4x20/21 was so refreshing to me as he focused equally on both Jemma and the things he had done to others in the framework. I hope s5 continues that but I’m not holding my breath.

Same!

I remember when “one time Jemma Simmons punched me in the face, it was awesome” (paraphrased from Mean Girls) was a running joke about how much Fitz talked about Jemma esp in S1, and it’s only grown since then but imo it’s become more obtrusive to his own development. eg while Jemma was away at Hydra, some elements of Fitz’s recovery storyline were really good but in the meantime he was constantly pining for Jemma, seeing and talking to her, and being asked “hey, I heard about Jemma; where is Jemma; who is Jemma; how are you doing without Jemma?”

Meanwhile Jemma, whilst she had gone to Hydra because of Fitz, got a much more independent treatment while there: she did mention Fitz occasionally eg the convo with Coulson and we definitely saw that at times she was struggling and sad, but we also saw her working, being valuable to her team, developing skills eg her lying skills and having those skills praised by others (eg when Coulson says “she’s tougher than she looks”) and developing new relationships with people who as far as she’s concerned have no idea who Fitz is.

Fitz on the other hand - he’s out in the field and Jemma’s been sent somewhere else mysteriously? He’s so stressed out about her not returning his calls that he can’t concentrate! He gets sucked into another dimension? Not particularly worried about his own life; no, it’s that Jemma’s going to be alone and scared and please tell me we’re not dead Coulson because I need to get back to Jemma. There was one ep in S4 that was nice for his personal development, highlighting his skills when they go to solve the power out, and it pains me that the same ep was so bad for Jemma with her majorly sidelined by Radcliffe, but outside of that ep, I can’t recall a single conversation Fitz had all season where he didn’t mention Jemma until that moment in 4x21 when he fell out of a freaking nightmare world wondering what he had done to everyone/in general, and people kicked up a fuss about it because the first thing on his mind wasn’t Jemma!

Meanwhile, some of the most contentious lines I’ve seen that people hate for including Fitz are:

- “we need to explain why this main character is absent for the casual viewers, and also, gee I sure hope our mutual friend/love isn’t FREAKING SUICIDAL” sorry but under what circumstances is Jemma allowed to care about Fitz? only when she’s talking directly to him? just when she’s not talking to another woman? all the time but as long as she doesn’t mention it? idk, I feel like this was important and I don’t feel people should be annoyed, it’s not like Jemma didn’t do anything except have that conversation- “I’m going to save you because I love you….r relationship with that dude” �� which, I actually agree, come on @ the writers, friendship exists - but having said that I know some people who would have torn into it for being unnecessarily friendzoning if she’d said something like “you’re my best friend” but anywayyy, and- “I can’t think without Fitz” which I agree the wording is problematic but you CANNOT tell me that STABBING THE SPITTING IMAGE OF THE MAN YOU LOVE TO DEATH WHILE HE/IT BEGS YOU NOT TO KILL HIM is not gonna fuck a person up a bit. I’d be thinking about that person to a distracting degree too. and that episode had a lot of other Skimmons awesomeness for people to be upset over 2 lines imo.

Meanwhile Fitz be over here like a sandwich? Jemma likes sandwiches. Science? Jemma is better at it than I am. You know who’s not here? Jemma. What I need to exist? Food, air, Jemma, water… I have literally never seen anybody complain that it was unnecessary for Fitz to bring up Jemma at a certain point. The most contentious single line from Fitz I’ve ever heard was over the fact that he didn’t mention her. Although some people also thought that when he implied he didn’t have any exes beside Jemma that was unfair so there was that. Yet some of the most contentious Jemma convos that mention Fitz are in the most tense, dramatic circumstances, and where Fitz is in immediate and drastic danger, and bringing him up under those circumstances is attacked? Really?

Anyway, I also agree that I hope S5 continues the pattern of acknowledging Fitz’s personal and platonic elements - I’m particularly keen for the FitzDaisy and FitzMack feels to hit me in a big way - but given that this kinda seems to be playing out like early S3 but extended? I’m not really holding my breath either.

#i mean they pleasantly surprise me at least as much as they disappoint me overall #so i do have some hope though #leo fitz #fitz #aos meta #aos s5 #aos speculation #aos spoilers #ask me stuff #this is not an anti jemma or anti fs post #Anonymous #aos wank #fandom wank

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tamiddyinyourcity · 5 years ago

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WHOOHOO NOTHING MATTERS

Things on my mind:

A terrible nightmare about my ex reminds me of why I specifically hated him so much when it all ended (really didnt need yet another big chunk of my memory missing, and it all happened since he couldnt communicate like a fucking adult)

Making content just for niggas to not watch it..... for fucks sake

Overall depression about how fucked my sleep schedule has gotten

Unsure of if I genuinely like Rowan without sex. I probably do, but he's become a lot more distant lately. One can say "its only been a week and hes been juggling like three different friendships with suicidal and very depressed people outside of me", but geez, even today we are not talking......

And yeah, kinda still gives me the idea that if he doesnt need to vent and lacks the urge to feel attraction toward me, he doesnt need to speak whatsoever. (Or, is very dry with it....)

If the whole point of us connecting in the first place was that it felt good, having a sexy dude that I also knew wasnt busy whatsoever, bonding, and mutual fucks given.... (plus, sexting since sexting is dope,) then none of that happens anymore... whats really the point?

We do occasionally have nice convos, he put in the effort last night. But now that he did that kinda shady shit the other night and isnt owning up to that or apologizing, i see why I should stop talking to this dude entirely now.

He said it himself, with that other girl, he claimed "she found a reason to be mad every day, and didnt want to feel guilt every time that i wake up".... and i knew myself that i didnt wanna be paranoid, he doesnt wanna be attached, but he likes me being attached to him.

This is gonna hurt like a bitch and i might cry.

I just dont want him hurt. Idk. If he does that thing where he posts about not wanting to live on this planet anymore at the first sign of me taking a break from him, ill be sad. But ill also be sad at no response.... better to just cut him off, and end the dynamic, but still leave the door open a bit.

I just think it's too weird to pretend our dynamic would be the same.

I want to leave and forget all traces of him, so that I don't have another person to podcast about on a low night.

The instagram being available would mainly just be so he doesnt do anything idiotic, like stop taking his meds, or kill himself.

I just dont see us as the same friends as before, but moreso he does go through a tough time. So if he were to flip shit, or start tripping out and claim he wants to take his life...

Then, he knows where to find me.

But anything else? Maybe not for awhile. It would take a lot to make me feel comfortable bonding with him again, in a way where both people feel safe, but, are not the only crutches that we have.

His other crutches are his other friends, who I hope he can trust to lean on in this current situation, and aren't just draining him of energy they would never give back, you know?

And my crutches are......

Marco, only temporarily. He's yet again broke up with his girlfriend, claiming he doesn't want it to be temporary this time. He's a twat and i would never ever ever subject myself to him romantically unless its for a laugh or as a time killer, but we just talk for now i suppose.

I talked to Cam a bit. He helped remind me that yes, the outdoors do exist. A walk would help me feel less depressed. Id have to go with a bandana on my face and gloves, but the sun still will shine brightly all the same onto my skin in a nice fabulous glow.

My goals. Fuck it, we may or may not die, time to sing that song about weaponized piss I've made.

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transparentcrescent · 5 years ago

Text

Please read my rules before interacting, weather you are a prospective RP-partner, or a Spectator. All Blog navigation is centralized on my Links page, which is also mobile friendly.

Greetings: -This blog is R18+ because of NSFW. Being upfront. -You can call me Rave. They/Them pronouns. I am 25+ (Timezone is The Future™) -If you interact with me, I will assume you have read these rules in full. (And vice versa if I interact with you.) -I am Indie & Mutuals-Only. (No RP group affiliation. If you follow me I’ll check out your blog, but I won’t follow everyone back. I will interact with my inbox though, so check out my memes if you’re looking to break the ice. It’s just threads I reserve for Mutuals.) -FF7 characters preferred, but I will consider crossovers. Anons are welcome! -Regarding OCs, I will only be interacting with OCs of current mutuals. Any interactions outside of this are purely at my own discretion. Do not request otherwise. (I used to just be selective with OCs but recently I’ve had a difficult time with an OC mun not respecting that and pushing interactions.) -No drama / rudeness / hostility. I will not publish asks stirring trouble, and will block people if need be. -I lose track of Tumblr IMs easily, so if you are IM only and I seem like I’ve forgotten our convo, hmu again so I get a refreshed notification.) -Discord is available for mutuals. Please, I prefer it over Tumblr IMs!

Spectators, please do not reblog my threads. I’d love to hear from you if you’re enjoying things in IMs or my inbox, though!

Dark Themes: -Angst / Violence / Death and other dark themes not limited to the aforementioned will appear on this blog. If these bother you, do not follow me. I do tag everything, so if you are selectively uncomfortable please check my TW tags page to check what I tag. -Anything verging on or in the extreme will be hidden under cuts. (I don’t hide general NS/FW, but it is tagged if you wish to avoid it.) -Basically, if a post I’m writing or replying to involves what I believe to be a triggering topic, I’ll tag it. -If you need anything specific tagged, please let me know. -I do not have any particular triggers myself for you to tag.

Shelke isn’t a muse inclined to relationships. I will never default to shipping her. That said, I am not opposed to characters exploring the possibility emotionally but I will be highly selective when considering appropriate scenarios and dynamics if she is to explore a potential relationship.

Please keep in mind by the events of Dirge of Cerberus, while she is physically 9, she is 20 years old. Shelke did continue to gain life experiences- albeit traumatic ones -during her time in Deepground, and while the setting does affect her capacity to relate to others, that doesn’t invalidate her from such experiences. I won’t tolerate people acting as if she is only 9 years old, both because that would be gross, but also infantilising.

Ships -UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE: ALL SHIPS, EVEN WITHIN A VERSE, EXIST IN SEPARATE MINI ALTERNATE VERSES. -Please do not pre-establish a relationship with my muse without discussing it with me. Talk to me first if you are interested in that.

Smut -Smut won’t appear on this blog. Although I am a smut writer with my other muses, I have no intention of writing it on this one. -If a ship ever did reach a plausible scenario where something ‘more’ would occur, a fade to black will be used.

Dark Themes -While I as a mun am not opposed to dark themes, that only applies as long as due care is given to the subject and it serves a plotted narrative purpose, is not fetishization, and is tagged properly. I’m not adverse to some borderline topics, acknowledging mun does not equal muse. -Due to the background muse I am aware many dark themes would be of an overly sensitive nature, and I do not intend to actively seek out those scenarios and themes. -The inclusion of this segment in my rules is simply to help you understand my perceptions on such topics. If you have a problem with grasping these concepts, please leave.

I use RP Thread Tracker to keep track of all my threads. Please let me know if you change your username so I can update my settings.

Memes: -I will try to respond to memes / asks ! Mutuals, Non-Mutuals, Anons all welcome. -Please don’t take it personally if I don’t answer your ask, sometimes things just don’t click. -Starter-memes, unless I pm you and discuss otherwise, generally these are for smaller-format threads. Just to balance out my lengths of things and make it easier for me to get something back to you.

Reply lengths: -I’m occasionally prone to writing larger Multi-Para starters. It’s just my nature. I don’t expect you to match it. Please don’t be intimidated. (But also, typically my average reply length tapers off after the starter for a more reaction-based format. -Multi-Para style is my main tendency writing with an average of 3-4 para replies. Shorter semi-para may occur at times, particularly in dash commentary or shitpost threads.

Reply Frequency: -Sometimes I’m actively lurking, sometimes I’m not. My levels of muse, and muse for specific threads will vary day to day. I reckon I consider myself medium-activity at present. -When my threads start crowding I queue posts to help stagger replies. -Neither length nor reply-speed is an indicator of my interest level in a thread. Some threads are intended to be larger formal threads while others are shorter that I want to remain light for enjoyment. A varied thread diet is best. -Please do not compare my threads against each other. I plan my replies around how I know I’ll best be able to manage my schedule, as well as meshing in with my various RP partners schedules. Occasionally this means one person may receive a burst of replies in a short space of time. This is usually because we only have a narrow window to mutually be active as they may only be able to reply every few days. It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring others. I’ll get to you, just chill. Things are fine. Bother me about this? You will be likely dropped. -That said, if it’s been a fair few days, you are welcome to check with me if I got your reply on a thread! I’m aware Tumblr sometimes eats replies and notifications. Likely it’s sitting in my drafts to write soon. But please don’t demand constant responses. I run multiple blogs, sometimes am in the mood for different muses, and have things I do outside of Tumblr as well of course.

Theme: OctoMoosey Shelke Icons by professordipshit Lucrecia Icons by professordipshit Icon Frames by myself (rave-rps) Post-Graphics by myself (rave-rps)

#TransparentCrescent | Info

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giftofthegodess · 5 years ago

Text

Please read my rules before interacting, weather you are a prospective RP-partner, or a Spectator. All Blog navigation is centralized on my Links page, which is also mobile friendly.

Greetings: -This blog is R18+ because of NSFW. Being upfront. -You can call me Rave. They/Them pronouns. I am 25+ (Timezone is The Future™) -If you interact with me, I will assume you have read these rules in full. (And vice versa if I interact with you.) -I am Indie & Mutuals-Only. (No RP group affiliation. If you follow me I’ll check out your blog, but I won’t follow everyone back. I will interact with my inbox though, so check out my memes if you’re looking to break the ice. It’s just threads I reserve for Mutuals.) -FF7 characters preferred, but I will consider crossovers. Anons are welcome! -Regarding OCs, I will only be interacting with OCs of current mutuals. Any interactions outside of this are purely at my own discretion. Do not request otherwise. (I used to just be selective with OCs but recently I’ve had a difficult time with an OC mun not respecting that and pushing interactions.) -No drama / rudeness / hostility. I will not publish asks stirring trouble, and will block people if need be. -I lose track of Tumblr IMs easily, so if you are IM only and I seem like I’ve forgotten our convo, hmu again so I get a refreshed notification.) -Discord is available for mutuals. Please, I prefer it over Tumblr IMs!

Spectators, please do not reblog my threads. I’d love to hear from you if you’re enjoying things in IMs or my inbox, though!

Dark Themes: -Angst / Violence / Death and other dark themes not limited to the aforementioned will appear on this blog. If these bother you, do not follow me. I do tag everything, if you are selectively uncomfortable please check my TW tags page to check what I tag. -Anything verging on or in the extreme (Re the above, or within smut topics) will be hidden under cuts. (I don’t hide general NS/FW, but it is tagged if you wish to avoid it.) -Basically, if a post I’m writing or replying to involves what I believe to be a triggering topic, I’ll tag it. -If you need anything specific tagged, please let me know. -I do not have any particular triggers myself for you to tag.

Ships -I am a Multi-Shipper. Seriously, multi-ship trash. Please tell me your ships. -My Genesis muse is highly openly sexually, and bi. Odds are I’ll be open to ship, just ask first. He’s got a rep for one-night-stands, but I will still be selective threading. -Romantic involvement however he is much more selective, so there will be chemistry required. -UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE: ALL SHIPS, EVEN WITHIN A VERSE, EXIST IN SEPARATE MINI ALTERNATE VERSES. -Please do not pre-establish a relationship with my muse without discussing it with me. Talk to me first if you are interested in that.

Smut -Same goes for smut, which will appear on this blog. If you want to write it, let’s discuss it a bit first privately. -While I do love me some good horny writing, I can appreciate its not for everyone. I am open to fade to blacks / morning after if you are not smut-inclined. -Once any flirting progresses to smut it will be tagged with ‘She guides us to bliss (ns/fw)’ - It is my general NS/FW tag. Any TWs will be applied additionally.

Dark Themes -As I mentioned dark topics before, I’m not adverse to some borderline topics, acknowledging mun does not equal muse. -I will tag Selfcest or anything grey-zone ‘problematic’ if relevant in case you prefer to block it. -Where relevant dub con or other such triggers will be tagged. Please be aware that any threads containing as such serve a plotted narrative purpose and are not rape fetishization. I’m not changing my content. If you have a problem with grasping this concept, please leave.

I use RP Thread Tracker to keep track of all my threads. Please let me know if you change your username so I can update my settings.

Memes: -I will try to respond to memes / asks ! Mutuals, Non-Mutuals, Anons all welcome. -Please don’t take it personally if I don’t answer your ask, sometimes things just don’t click. -Starter-memes, unless I pm you and discuss otherwise, generally these are for smaller-format threads. Just to balance out my lengths of things and make it easier for me to get something back to you.

Reply lengths: -I’m occasionally prone to writing larger Multi-Para starters. It’s just my nature. I don’t expect you to match it. Please don’t be intimidated. (But also, typically my average reply length tapers off after the starter for a more reaction-based format. -Multi-Para style is my main tendency writing with an average of 3-4 para replies. Shorter semi-para may occur at times, particularly in dash commentary or shitpost threads.

Theme: OctoMoosey Background: By Jeff Kubina (Edit by me) Static Icons by denofwoe Icon Frames by myself (rave-rps) Post-Graphics by myself (rave-rps) GIF Icons by xgamerxiconsx

#GiftOfTheGodess || Info

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unattainabledreams · 5 years ago

Text

Please read my rules before interacting, weather you are a prospective RP-partner, or a Spectator. All Blog navigation is centralized on my Links page, which is also mobile friendly.

Greetings: -This blog is R18+ because of NSFW. Being upfront. -You can call me Rave. They/Them pronouns. I am 25+ (Timezone is The Future™) -If you interact with me, I will assume you have read these rules in full. (And vice versa if I interact with you.) -I am Indie & Mutuals-Only. (No RP group affiliation. If you follow me I’ll check out your blog, but I won’t follow everyone back. I will interact with my inbox though, so check out my memes if you’re looking to break the ice. It’s just threads I reserve for Mutuals.) -FF7 characters preferred, but I will consider crossovers. Anons are welcome! -Regarding OCs, I will only be interacting with OCs of current mutuals. Any interactions outside of this are purely at my own discretion. Do not request otherwise. (I used to just be selective with OCs but recently I’ve had a difficult time with an OC mun not respecting that and pushing interactions.) -No drama / rudeness / hostility. I will not publish asks stirring trouble, and will block people if need be. -I lose track of Tumblr IMs easily, so if you are IM only and I seem like I’ve forgotten our convo, hmu again so I get a refreshed notification.) -Discord is available for mutuals. Please, I prefer it over Tumblr IMs!

Spectators, please do not reblog my threads. I’d love to hear from you if you’re enjoying things in IMs or my inbox, though!

Ships -I am a Multi-Shipper. Seriously, multi-ship trash. Please tell me your ships. -UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE: ALL SHIPS, EVEN WITHIN A VERSE, EXIST IN SEPARATE MINI ALTERNATE VERSES. -Please do not pre-establish a relationship with my muse without discussing it with me. Talk to me first if you are interested in that.

Smut -Same goes for smut, which will appear on this blog. If you want to write it, let’s discuss it a bit first privately. -While I do love me some good horny writing, I can appreciate its not for everyone. I am open to fade to blacks / morning after if you are not smut-inclined. -Once any flirting progresses to smut it will be tagged with ‘Got any Barrier Materia (ns/fw)’ - It is my general NS/FW tag. Any TWs will be applied additionally.

Dark Themes -As I mentioned dark topics before, I’m not adverse to some borderline topics, acknowledging mun does not equal muse. -I will tag Selfcest or anything grey-zone ‘problematic’ if relevant in case you prefer to block it. -Where relevant dub con or other such triggers will be tagged. Please be aware that any threads containing as such serve a plotted narrative purpose and are not rape fetishization. I’m not changing my content. If you have a problem with grasping this concept, please leave.

I use RP Thread Tracker to keep track of all my threads. Please let me know if you change your username so I can update my settings.

Reply lengths: -I’m occasionally prone to writing larger Multi-Para starters. It’s just my nature. I don’t expect you to match it. Please don’t be intimidated. (But also, typically my average reply length tapers off after the starter for a more reaction-based format. -Multi-Para style is my main tendency writing with an average of 3-4 para replies. Shorter semi-para may occur at times, particularly in dash commentary or shitpost threads.

Theme: pirateskinned Static Icons by professordipshit Icon Frames by myself (rave-rps) Post-Graphics by myself (rave-rps) GIF Icons by xgamerxiconsx

#UnattainableDreams | Info

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monikakrasnorada · 7 years ago

Text

This was my fault.

Since S4 aired, I’ve had Mycroft on the brain. I’m not sure why but there has been something about him and his role in the wonkiness of the series that I can’t shake. I’ve made some passing, rather rambly remarks about him in the past few months, but hadn’t taken the time to go back and watch to really see if I was perhaps onto something. I’m still not certain I am, but by re-watching and paying close attention, it feels as if my misgivings about him and his part in it all may not have been unfounded.

Naive as it is to admit, I was- all the way up to the airing of T6T- staunchly in the pro-Mycroft / over-protective big brother / means well / isn’t a baddie camp. Wellllll, yeah. I’m not so sure of that reading any longer. Something’s rotten in Denmark and I think that something occupies a minor position in the British government. This is my incoherent attempt to work through some of what is bothering me about Mycroft and hope that by the end, something of it all makes a bit of sense.

*I’m sure a lot of this has been brought up / discussed before by many others. This is in no way an attempt to claim these ideas as my own. Just trying to work through the thoughts as they come. Apologies in advance.*

Loads of pics and rambling word-vomit below the cut.

Mycroft

Living in a world of goldfish can’t be easy for the arch enemy of Sherlock Holmes.

I love Mycroft. I’ve been a staunch advocate of his since the beginning. Naively touting that he really does have Sherlock’s best interests at heart. That his machinations couldn’t possibly be nefarious. Just a meddling, overbearing, too-deeply invested big brother that wants to be the hero of his baby bro. I still believe that to some degree. I don’t know why? I just can’t find it in my heart to accept he knowingly / wittingly played Moriarty’s game. Or, worse yet- that the game was all him and Moriarty happened to be a pawn as well.

I think a lot of my misgivings and willingness to excuse Mycroft’s actions up until now had a bit of a personal aspect for me. I have the kind of older brother that would (and has) done terrible awful things to me in order to make himself look good or to win the attention of other memebers of the family and make it a me vs him sort of deal. That’s not fun. It’s super harmful and I just wasn’t willing to accept the show I loved as my ‘get away’ from the nastiness that can be rl, would be the show that could kind of (if I squint my eyes just right) resemble a bit of my own family dynamic.

But, I digress.

What was his fault?

MYCROFT: This was my fault

SHERLOCK: This had nothing to do with you.

MYCROFT: A week in a prison cell and I should have realised.

SHERLOCK: Realised what?

MYCROFT: That in your case, solitary confinement is locking you up with your worst enemy.

This exchange from TAB was interesting. At the time it aired, it seemed only relevant to what had happened in that ep. Sherlock had used again to either figure out the reason Moriarty had returned via the Ricoletti case or he intended to die before his exile could begin.

S4 changed all that. To me, this seemed to become a much bigger admission of guilt on Mycroft’s part. But, what of it?

MYCROFT: Nobody deceives like an addict.

Throughout the entirety of the series, we’ve never witnessed Sherlock ‘the addict’. I think he may have been using off and on-

But only for the reasons he said:

SHERLOCK: I’m not an addict. I’m a user. I alleviate boredom and occasionally heighten my thought processes.

(though, I would add alleviating a broken heart to that list as well. Poor lamb.)

A disguise is always a self-portrait

Mycroft calling Sherlock out on his addiction in TAB, for me, is a bit of a pot / kettle situation. Sherlock isn’t ‘technically’ an addict, but there does seem to be a Holmes brother with an addiction problem- . Mycroft and his addiction to power and need to control every aspect of Sherlock’s life.

MYCROFT: I was there for you before.

SHERLOCK: Before what?

MYCROFT: I’ll be there for you again. I’ll always be there for you.

Mycroft admits in TAB, that it was his fault. They- he and Sherlock- have an agreement. Ever since that day. Which we are then led to believe was some random moment in the past that Sherlock had ODed and Mycroft had come to the rescue. None of which correlates to the true reason Sherlock is the man he is if any of TFP is to be taken at face-value.

If Mycroft’s vow was that he would always be there for him. (Oh, that sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before?)

Then where was Mycroft when Sherlock needed him after Mary’s death? As Sherlock spiralled out of control and went straight to hell??

More to the point, where was the infamous list in TLD? Mycroft was miffed to have been called out of a meeting with the Prime Minister but it was clearly evident he was aware of Sherlock’s using during the intervening time since Mary’s ‘death’ but didn’t do anything about it. Didn’t demand the ‘list’. Just brought his spooks in when Sherlock was practically dead to find out what ‘triggered’ his time ‘back on the sauce’. Hmmm.

Wow, so much for being the smart one there, Myc.

So, what exactly was Mycroft admitting fault to? The levels of that admission in TAB are staggering: Sherlock’s isolation in solitary confinement, his drug use, the reason for his drug use.

However, in TFP we get the real reason™ for Mycroft’s confession of guilt: the re-writing of Sherlock’s memories. The list of Mycroft’s misdeeds regarding his brother (nevermind Eurus at the mo, that’s a whole other can of worms) now seems endless and a little much to swallow from a normal human being. I’m sorry but Mycroft is no Svengali in any literal sense of the word. If he were capable of all of this- to be responsible for all of Sherlock’s trials and tribulations- then Mycroft’s influence is beyond compare.

Oh, but wait- No it isn’t.

That is one hell of a family trait!

I’ll be mother.

@gosherlocked wrote an interesting post about the Holmes family recently. In it she points out this line from the show:

“Every choice you ever made; every path you’ve ever taken – the man you are today … is your memory of Eurus.”

Which she then refutes beautifully with this comment:

Sorry, but no, Mycroft. This is not true. Sherlock may have been influenced by a lot of things but he cannot have become the man he is today just because of a non-existent memory. If he did not remember Eurus for decades, it is not possible that she has completely shaped his life.

Can you hear me screaming “THIS!” in response as I read that. Because that’s it right there in a nutshell, isn’t it? The whole reason nothing of this series makes a lick of sense because it completely edits and erases what came before it in the show.

And- HA! Isn’t that fucking hilarious because it’s exactly what Mycroft tells us at the beginning of T6T:

So, everything is up to Mycroft’s discretion. Interesting. Stick a pin in that thought because we will come back to it in a bit.

Alternatively

There are two instances where this word comes into play and is the main reason I am now compelled to write all this down (and hope that much smarter minds than mine can make the connection a lot clearer). It feels as if this word is pivotal to what has happened in the show since HLV.

Immediately following TAB, during the convos that brought @gosherlocked and @the-7-percent-solution and I together in order to birth EMP theory, I made a random post about this word appearing in the opening sequence of TAB:

noun:

1.a choice limited to one of two or more possibilities, as of things,propositions, or courses of action, the selection of which precludes any other possibility

adjective:

1.(of two things, propositions, or courses) mutually exclusive so that if one is chosen the other must be rejected

2.employing or following nontraditional or unconventional ideas,methods, etc.; existing outside the establishment

At that time, I merely found the word intriguing, in relation to what we were shown in TAB. The opening montage of what came before in the show up until the airing of TAB was a bit mind boggling. Not only was the timeline questionable, but the things which they decidedly omitted was a head-scratcher.

What happens once the alternative is introduced?

Immediately following his exchange with Lady S and Sir Edwin, where the alternative was first discussed:

MYCROFT: In any event, there is no prison in which we could incarcerate Sherlock without causing a riot on a daily basis. The alternative, however ... would require your approval.

LADY SMALLWOOD: Hardly merciful, Mr Holmes.

Which really, Mycroft? Really?

We are meant to believe the only alternative for Sherlock having killed CAM was a six-month suicide mission? When Sherrinford exists for the ‘uncontainables’?

The alternative is a turning point.

Nothing is ever the same in this show once that word is introduced. It immediately cuts to the tarmac scene and what do we get?

The first inkling that something is fishy with Mary’s characterisation:

No one expected this turnaround, did they? What’s a little fatal shooting between besties, right?

Then we have this painful exchange. The last words between two men that have thought the sun rose and set on one another. The best and wisest and bravest man the other has ever known and they have nothing of importance to say to each other as Sherlock goes off (if not to John’s knowledge of certain death, clearly you would think Sherlock having killed a man to save his family) John could nut up and say THANK YOU, AT LEAST????

AN ABORTED LOVE CONFESSION FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!!!

But (and here I’m shootting myself in my own EMP foot) isn’t this how all of this might have played out through the lens of an emotionally-constipated, not-good-with-humans person?

Perhaps this is Mycroft’s alternative tale. Editing. TD 12. Eurus’ influence. There’s no surprise that something has changed in the way this story is told. Maybe it’s the narrator. Maybe it’s simply Sherlock imagining the alternative because he knows Mycroft is at the heart of the problem, so he has put him front and center. I don’t know and I’m not sure any of us can really know until we get more (please, let us get more and answers to all of this)

What I am saying is that I don’t believe alternative was an accident.

Previously

In both TAB and T6T, we get this sort of thing at the beginning ^^. A montage of highlights to get us back up to speed. Again, something is fuuuuucky, because in neither one is there ever a callback to Mary shooting Sherlock.

From the moment we get the alternative, we get the retcon of Mary Morstan. Why? They solidly built her character to be the most amazing villain of the show. I daresay, capable of surpassing Moriarty in good old-fashioned nastiness.

And, it isn’t just Mary that is re-worked. No one since before the tarmac has been in character. I had previously stated my belief that S4 was merely a continuation of TAB- the Victorian personifications brought into the 21st century. It was John’s hair, of all things, that made me realise this as a possibility because it explains the why of John’s hair and Sherlock never bothering to mention it. But, looking at S4 in that vein, really did explain a lot- and make sense of the nonsensical- in a way nothing else had until that point.

I’m not saying I don’t still believe this isn’t all in Sherlock’s head- I do!- I just think that Mycroft has influenced it all much more than anyone originally thought.

Mycroft sees Sherlock as the child he still has to protect and I believe Sherlock subconsciously knows that, hence the exuberant andchild-like actions Sherlock has at the beginning of T6T. All of S4′s characterisations so wrong as to be laughable. Perhaps it’s howSherlock imagines Mycroft imagines them all to be?

Mycroft lied to us.

He told Sherlock and John about Redbeard. He apparently helped arrange their stunt to get onto Sherrinford, so why did he perpetuate the lie? He knew Sherlock was confronting Eurus and she would tell him the truth. Or, no, as a matter of fact, she never said a word about Victor.

Just that they never had a dog. The Victor bit was Sherlock’s own idea. But we saw the dog bowl. If Eurus brought Sherlock to Sherrinford to get emotional context to get to the truth of his repressed memories, why did she perpetuate the Redbeard story? She wanted him to remember “you don’t know about Redbeard”. She had him at Musgrave to reveal the story, but she kept the dog dish. Is this because it is really Mycroft’s mind and he still wanted to keep Sherlock from remembering?

No repercussions for Mycroft after Sherrinford.

All of that planning, plotting, scheming, disguises, setting up an asylum as your own version of Saw- for what? Emotional context? Her oldest brother lied to her parents about her death, kept her locked away and isolated for years. Exploited her abilities for his own gain and she did nothing to him when she had the chance? This woman, who as a 6 year old, killed her brothers best friend because he wouldn’t play with her?

Is Eurus some manifestation of Mycroft? There seems to be a theme here, and I can’t make the connections, so I want to add it and see if anyone else can connect the dots.

Cross-dressing Uncle Rudy and Lady Bracknell. Is Uncle Rudy a ‘codename’ for Mycroft? An invention, like Eurus, to keep Sherlock in line somehow? The East Wind?

Eurus’ song

As I wind down here with this whacked-out non-sense, I just want to leave this here. The last stanza of Eurus’ song and a reference we have seen made by Mycroft many times before:

Without your love he’ll be gone before Save pity for strangers, show love the door My soul seek the shade of my willow’s bloom Inside, brother mine Let Death make a room.

I have loads more about Mycroft I want to share, but I think this is already too long as it is, so I’ll say, if you’ve stuck around this far: stay tuned for part 2.

@loveismyrevolution @gosherlocked @ebaeschnbliah @isitandwonder @tjlcisthenewsexy @the-7-percent-solution @tendergingergirl @yan-yae @impossibleleaf @shadow3214 @shawleyleres @fvkingstraightculture @themanandthemachine @may-shepard @sarahthecoat

#sherlock #mycroft #this was my fault #emp #mk

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