#like obviously if anyone wanted sam they’d have to go through him

[samdeancrimespree]

when that guy points at sam through the prison fence and goes “you’re mine, baby,” and sam just looks fucking perplexed and nods. and dean says (in his sleaziest voice) “don’t worry, sammy. promise i won’t trade ya for smokes.” we get it dean he’s Your property. Jesus Christ. a little surprising they weren’t all trying to call dibs on you too but it’s nice to know that your first response to hearing someone hit on your brother is that he’s already taken.

dean being. Entertained by the fact that sams roommate keeps “staring at him” is also just… unhinged

and then he immediately gets in a fight because some guy said One harsh word to sam. after SAM bumped into him. fucking freak

[malum-forev]

Dr. Bee

Summary: Bucky has quite the reputation but all it takes for him to want to change is an hour with an outspoken little Bee.

Bucky x Nurse!Mom!Reader

Bucky Barnes has many names. James Buchanan Barnes, Buck, The Winter Soldier, Sergeant. 

But on compound grounds, and in hushed tones, he’s usually called an asshole. 

He’s developed quite the reputation. Being difficult is his natural state of being. 

Bucky is constantly late to meetings, doesn’t show up for media days and is always going rogue in missions.

He doesn’t know why he does it, Dr. Raynor says it’s a coping mechanism, but that doesn’t make Bucky want to change one bit. He stays away from people and makes it everyone’s problem when someone decides to talk in his vicinity. 

Sam has tried to talk to him but, as per usual whatever the Falcon says, Bucky does the opposite. Sam’s even tried to convince everyone that Bucky’s like an untrained dog, he needs some kind of exposure therapy. Having people stand up to him and flat out call him what he is, that’s what he needs. 

Sadly for everyone who works with Bucky Barnes, no one has the balls to do it. 

But, everything changed one day. 

Everyone scurried away once the quinjet landed at the Avengers compound. They’d gotten word from someone in Logistics that the mission had gone terribly and the agents had barely come out alive. 

Bucky stormed into the med bay, his heels digging into the floor with such force you’d think it break, only to find it desolate. 

He huffed twice, looking around for anyone who could help with a deep cut on his right arm. 

“Hello?!” He yelled out, his temples throbbing and his left eye twitching. 

Bucky Barnes waited for no one. 

“May I help you?” Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed at the meek voice coming from behind the nurse’s station. His confusion only grew deeper when he didn’t find anyone there. 

A few seconds later a tiny hand popped up, wiggling its chubby fingers at him. 

“I said,” The little voice drew out the last word, annoyed. “May I help you?”

Bucky leaned forward and peeked behind the large desk to find a little girl.

Standing with her hands on her hips, the little girl with pigtails looked up at him with raised eyebrows. 

Her expression turned to one of concern.

“Are you hard of hearing?” The girl spoke slowly and loudly.

Bucky almost had to cover his ears from the shrill and very high tone of the girl. 

“I am not hard of hearing.” Bucky finally responded. 

“Then why didn’t you respond?” Little miss pigtails crosses her arms over her chest. “I asked you: may I help you?” 

His right eye accompanied his left one in twitching.

After he didn’t respond, the little girl scribbled something down on a paper in front of her. 

“What are you writing?” Bucky said through gritted teeth, how can a person so small get on his nerves so quickly?

“I can’t tell you.” She said in a singsong tone. 

“Why not?”

“You’re not my patient.” She shrugs, rounding the nurse’s bay holding a pink unicorn lunch box, coming face to face with The Winter Soldier. Actually it was more like coming face to knee height. “Can’t talk to people who aren’t my patients. Doctor patient villigage.”

Bucky bit his bottom lip to conceal a smile. “I think you mean doctor patient privilege.” 

“How would you know? You’re not my patient.” The little girl swung her lunchbox, skipping all the way to the waiting room. 

He was equally shocked and impressed. This little girl had more balls than most of the agents he worked with. 

Bucky looked around the med bay for anyone who knew the girl. Mom, dad, cousin, hell he’d even settle for a dog. 

With a groan, he followed behind her. Sure, he was a dickhead but he couldn’t let a kid wander around the Avengers med bay all by herself. 

She sat down, opening the lunch box and taking the contents out.

Bucky couldn’t help but think it was cute how her feet didn’t reach the floor. As he came closer, her swinging feet hit him in the shins. 

He let out an obviously fake and over the top groan, throwing himself on the floor. 

The little girl covered her mouth but her giggles bubbled around the room. 

“Aren’t you going to apologize?” Bucky asked from his position on the ground. “That really hurt.”

“No it didn’t!” She laughed harder. 

“Yes it did!” 

“I know nothing can hurt you!” She said as her giggles died down. “I know who you are.”

“You do, huh?” Bucky sat next to her.

“Mhm.” She said proudly, taking a bite out of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “But my mommy says I can’t repeat the names she calls you.”

Bucky suddenly felt embarrassed. Dickhead, motherfucker, bastard, asshole had a whole different meaning now that he knew the little girl thought they were synonymous to Bucky.

“Well then,” Bucky cleared his throat. “I should reintroduce myself. My name is James Buchanan Barnes but people usually call me Bucky.”

The little girl placed her tiny hand in his and shook it. “I’m not supposed to tell strangers my name so, you can call me Bee.”

Bucky nodded his head once, he almost didn’t notice the peanut butter she’d smeared on his hand. “Well Bee, does you mommy or daddy work here?”

Bee shrugs her shoulders. “Can’t tell you.”

He takes a deep breath in. “Can you tell me how you got here?”

“Nope.” She takes another bite of her sandwich. 

“Can you tell me how long you’ve been here?”

“Nuh uh.”

Bucky runs a hand over his face. “Is this because of the doctor patient privilege?” 

“Yep.” Bee smiles up at him and this time Bucky can’t help but smile back. A blooming feeling erupted in his chest. 

Bucky looked down at his hand, trying to find his most surface level wound. Something that wouldn’t traumatize the girl who’s no more than seven years old. 

“Dr. Bee, I need your help. Do you have anything for this cut?” Bucky points to the small cut on his knuckle. She didn’t have to know how it came to be, or who’s cheekbone had caused it.

“Thertainly Mr. Bucky.” Bee’s missing front teeth were responsible for her lisp. She jumped off of the chair and hurried behind the nurse’s station.

She swiftly wrapped his knuckles in gauze. 

“Do you need me to look over your other arm?” Bee asked sincerely.

“I don’t think you can help with this one.” Bucky chuckled, knocking on the vibranium. “Unless you have anti rust spray.”

Bee threw her head back with laughter but the cute sound was cut short by a door slamming open. 

His mind went blank the second he saw her. Bucky couldn’t peel his eyes off of her, even his jaw went slack. He tried to memorize every single detail of her. Her hair, her eyes, her body, the blue scrubs she wore. 

“Bee!” She gasped, taking the little girl in her arms. “You almost gave me a heart attack, I told you to stay in the common room!”

“Don’t worry mommy!” She smiles up at the woman who’s taken Bucky’s mind hostage. “I’ve been with Bucky!”

The woman finally looks over at Bucky and he’s sure the world has stopped. 

But reality comes crashing down when her eyes lose some of their light. 

“Mr. Barnes.” She gasps, pulling Bee to stand behind her body. “I’m so terribly sorry about her, she wasn’t supposed to be here.”

Bucky gulps down the nervous feeling in his throat. He can’t help but feel like the biggest idiot in this universe. 

All he’s done for the past few years is be cold, and rude, and now the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, who’s got the cutest most outspoken daughter in the tri state area, is apologizing. 

His brain runs out of words and he just stands there. 

Bucky keeps quiet as the woman sutures up the wound on his arm, he’d completely forgotten about it. 

“Bee’s your daughter?” He manages to speak up after a few minutes. 

The woman nods with a smile, keeping her eyes on his wound but Bucky begs the cosmos she looks up at him, even if it’s just for a second. He wouldn’t care if she messes up, if it means their eyes could meet.

Bucky’s kept himself away from feelings for years. He convinced himself he doesn’t need them. But in a quick thirty minutes, Bee and her amazingly beautiful mother have stirred up more emotions than he’s had in the last two decades. 

“She-“ Bucky clears his throat. “She mentioned you’ve got a wide array of names for me.” 

Her cheeks burned red. “Bee must be mistaken, she’s got a crazy imagination. Always coming up with the strangest things-“

Bucky bit his bottom lip. “I’m used to it.”

The woman gulped, finally looking up at him. 

“I’m really sorry about the names.” She whispers. 

“It’s okay, darling.” Bucky’s eyes travel from hers to her lips. “But for next time, ‘Bucky’ is just fine.”

She nods, looking back to his wound. 

“And you are-“

“(Y/n).” She says. 

Bucky’s sure he’s never heard someone with a name as beautiful as hers. 

“You’re all patched up.” (Y/n) takes a step away from Bucky. “I’ll finish your report, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do.”

Bucky stumbles on his feet as he stands up. Embarrassed, he walks straight to the door but stops before leaving the medbay. 

“(Y/n)?” He turns on his heel. “Would you please tell Dr. Bee I appreciated her help?”

The light in (Y/n)’s eyes returned as she nodded. 

Bucky left the med bay feeling lighter than ever before and he couldn’t help but think a certain little bee had everything to do with it. 

Comments and feedback is greatly appreciated!!

[mahimahi713]

I was discussing this with @djbunnie recently. But I was thinking about what I’d do if I were to do a redo of DP. But really this is mostly how I’d make Sam better.

Before I get further, I want to make a disclaimer: this idea would include Danny and Sam being endgame. They would be together in the end. However before that would happen, Danny and Valerie would actually have a relationship. They would be an established couple but they’d ultimately have an amicable break up. But they would have been together for 2 years I’m thinking?

This redo would also include bits and pieces of some of my earlier DP posts.

That said, let’s get into it.

So we would just ignore the entire third season and Phantom Planet. Let’s just get that out of the way.

The series would have go through several years of their lives.

Sam and Tucker would be a lot more fleshed out and go through character development. We would see more about the significant characters personalities and likes and dislikes.

First, Sam. Given how political Punk is, I’d make Sam more Punk than goth, tbh. Sam being political just makes sense. She still would be filthy rich, beyond anyone’s imaginations rich. But she uses that wealth and reputation to help marginalized groups and speak in injustices. She would also acknowledge her own wealth and privilege. I’d explore more about how she is athletic and her writing and her love of anime and manga, and her art.

Yes she would start out as looking down or just really disliking girly things. And this does stem from her mother putting her down for not being her picture perfect daughter. However she’d also have Grandma Ida to humble her. Sam wouldn’t hate girly girls themselves. Just that society will promote that image as being the way girls should be. But she’d look down things so much that it’s actually problematic. But she’d outgrow it .

And like my earlier posts about cringe Sam liking mediocre guys and saying dumb edgy things like “you laugh because I’m different, I laugh because you’re all the same”

But she also would be the one to put her foot down and say “no, Danny, you’re not going to risk and you’re going to be an astronaut” and along with Tucker and Jazz’s help, she’d help him study, make study guide and flash cards.

Another thing I’d explore is her feeling guilty over Danny being Phantom. This is guilt that eats at her but she refuses to discuss it because she knows Danny would tell her not to worry about it.

And in a way, Sam is doing this because she feels she deserves to wallow in that guilt. Almost like she’s punishing herself.

Sam was just done such a great injustice.

Tucker. Tucker would also go through significant development and we would also see more of his personality and likes and dislikes. I’d describe his character development to be much like Sokkas from A:TLA.

Tucker is a whiz when it comes to tech and computer related subjects.

Sorry I don’t have much more to say about him.

Sam and Tucker both take on bigger roles in helping to fight the ghosts. Much bigger.

For episodes like the Lunch meat episode, Sam would have just advocated for better vegetarian options and a salad bar. And when the school asks where they can get the funds to do so, she’d just be “I’m glad you asked”

She’d still think meat is murder and that they should use robotic or virtual frogs for dissections but again, she’s a work in progress.

When Danny and Val are dating, she’s obviously heartbroken. She asks Ida for advice. Ida tells her while she gets her pain, that she shouldn’t be one of those girl best friends who is mean to their best friend’s girlfriend or violates boundaries. Especially since she has feelings for him. That if she cares for Danny, then she would want him to be happy even if that means standing aside. And so, she does. She’s kind and friendly and respectful to Valerie. In fact she even gives Valerie some gift ideas that would be so meaningful for Danny. In the beginning, Sam even tells Valerie that she knows that Val knows about her crush. But she swears that she will never make a move or disrespect her or her relationship with Danny. And that if ever Val needs her to back off, she will. As long as it’s respectful.

This actually winds up being a bonding moment for Sam and Tucker because he helps her cope with her heartbreak. This relationship between them is platonic. They come to see each other as siblings. And that includes acting like siblings and being shits to each other and pissing each other off.

Oh and of course, the series would be more mature. They would act like teens and they would also engage in more mature behavior as their grow older.

There would also be more hilarity with trying to hide Danny’s secret (I’ve made a post about this).

And there would be darker moments as well.

We would also explore more of the Ghostzone itself. The lore, the science. What are ghosts. Where did non human ghosts come from. Who and what is clockwork and were did he come from. More on the ghosts’ backstories. Their lives when they were still alive. Just all that

Sam is the one who is the nurse of the group. Even for Valerie, once her and Danny begin to date. Sam can get all the medical supplies they need. She is also gentle and can do great stitches and has a steady hand and isn’t squeamish. She’s patching up everyone .

Oh and Sam and Valerie would become best friends. Even though at a point, Val would be Danny’s Ex and Sam his gf he winds up marrying. They would be best friends.

Look. DxS is my OTP and they’ll be endgame. But I think I’d want them to have more of a Ron and Kim vibe. With subtle hinting of the feelings they have.

Let’s explore DxV. Well, I think it would come to a point that Danny just realizes he needs to confess to her. He tells her the truth and while she needs to take a step back for a moment, she is able to think it through and she comes to Danny. They talk things out and decide to hang out to just clear things and get rid of those tensions. And they decide to date. They date I’m thinking atleast sophomore and junior years. They go through significant firsts together. Like serious relationship, that first time and so on. But ultimately they end things amicably because they outgrew each other and differing goals and all that. They remain friendly and respectful of each other

Sam herself goes on a few dates here and there but I really picture Sam as someone who is demisexual. She only becomes attracted to a person after she gets to know them. She actually winds up having a significant relationship with a guy who is actually on the football team but he kinda always just was there, when it came to the popular kids. He was just there because he too played football but he didn’t really interact with them and never was a bully. He and Sam start to date after they work on a project together. They date from junior year and into Senior year but break up amicably. They don’t want to do the long distance thing and have different goals and desires for the long term

Danny and Sam after high school begin to hang out more than before. Or more like they used to. Now Danny is living that college life and doing the typical hook ups. Sam isn’t because she’s not into it. And she is at a point where she knew Danny is gonna be hooking up and she’s indifferent. But they’re having out more and more and it’s nice and oh. Hey. Hello feelings for each other my old friend.

If you ever watched scrubs, the way Jake and Elliott get (back) together in later seasons, that’s basically what happens with them.

[wrenwinchester]

So, I just made a post defending/appreciating Sam, so I want to make one about Dean too because while yes I obviously have some strong feelings about Sam, I also have strong feelings about Dean and Sam stans who hate him. Because again Sam loves Dean more than like anyone else. And because I’m a Sam-coded Dean girl. (Yes I know I said it the other way on the other post. I’m both okay. Shut up. I’m a middle child. It doesn’t have to make sense.)

I relate so much to Dean. Okay. He gave up so much of his childhood so his brother could have some of one. He always gave Sam more than he got and made sure Sam was safe.

Dean went through hell (literally!) for his little brother. And he’d do it again. Of course Sam deserves the world, but so does Dean. And they’d both die before taking it from the other. And they have.

I mentioned in my Sam defense post that Sam always tried to respect Dean’s autonomy, and that Dean tries to fix his grief, by taking his brother’s autonomy. And that’s still true, but it’s because Dean can’t see how a life without a brother by your side is worth living. He doesn’t see how Sam could possibly be happy living in his memories, memories of someone else’s thanksgiving, or being in hell. And Sam doesn’t get how Dean could possibly want to leave heaven just to be with him. They both have crippling self esteem issues, and neither knows how to communicate their needs with the other because they weren’t raised in that kind of environment and aren’t the most receptive to that kind of communication. No matter how much they try to be.

I see so much of myself in Dean. Always trying to stop the arguing when tensions get to high, being the peacemaker, and a parent’s shoulder to cry on from a young age. Rarely being recognized for sacrifices, sacrifices going unnoticed growing up, and being bad at sharing feelings because you never had the chance to truly talk about them growing up, and because you are tired of feeling judged for having feelings. He always did his best with what he had and he was never really given enough.

So yeah, you’re allowed to hate Sam or Dean. That’s your right, your prerogative, and your choice. But neither Sam nor Dean could ever hate the other. They are intertwined, bound together. Two sides of the same coin. And they love each other too much to hate the other.

Sam said it best when he said “and what do you think my job is? You saved my life. Over and over. I mean you sacrifice everything for me. Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

And sure, Sam didn’t always do it the way Dean would have liked, but they’re not the same person, and Sam has his own way of showing his love for Dean. But they both deserve that love.

[seenoversundown]

Amongst The Stars: Chapter Five

Josh x Quinn (Nonbinary OC)

Warnings: Misgendering, Shitty partner, Josh being disgustingly sweet. 

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Josh has always loved love,  and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance.

Author's Note: I am so sorry this chapter took a while to get out, I fought with myself a lot about it because it’s filler, hence the small word count, but it’s filler of Josh being a little lovestruck sweetie pie. So, I hope you enjoy it. Next week’s chapter is much meatier. Thank you all for being patient with me. 

Then I look at you And the world's alright with me Just one look at you And I know it's gonna be A lovely day - Lovely Day, Bill Withers

I get up from the table Quinn and I shared mere moments ago and make my way to the parking lot. I should have gotten their number before they left. I don’t know how I’ll be able to focus on anything else when I know they may be fighting with their partner, and I can’t check on them. I sigh and hop into my truck. I attempt to push those thoughts out of my head, because I know it’s out of my hands. Even if Quinn did have my number, who’s to say I would be the one they would come to with their troubles? They love Willa so much that they’d obviously go to her first. Regardless, I don’t have time to dissect any of this. I have to head to the farmer’s market. Jake hasn’t directly asked me to pick anything up for the bar, but I made a list of a few items before I left this morning. I want to take some of the stress off him. He cares so much for everyone around him but will hardly accept it when anyone else sits and fusses over him. 

I slowly turn onto the gravel drive leading up to the parking lot of the farmer’s market, slamming my truck in park and running through my mental list of items I’ll need to hunt for. Lemons, Eggs, Fresh Bread, maybe something crafty. My eyes pan over to the flower booth, and I see none other than Miss Willa in the flesh, off paper. I take in her slightly windswept brown bob and perfectly cool outfit that she had undoubtedly spent a while agonizing over this morning. Good God, Quinn really did capture her perfectly in their sketchbook. Without a second thought, I beeline directly for her. Maybe I can make an excellent first impression with her. Why do I care what Willa thinks? It’s not like Quinn will like me more if I’m nice to their friend who doesn’t know me. “Hello, Dear,” I clear my throat and step up to speak to her. She gives me a once over before quirking one eyebrow in an annoyed gesture for me to continue. “I just wanted to stop and tell you that you’re absolutely breathtaking.” She rolls her eyes, but a small smile overtakes her lips. “Thank you. I’m glad to see there’s at least one decent person that comes to the farmer’s market.”

What could she possibly mean by that? Everyone here is lovely. “Anyway, I gotta scoot. Photos aren’t gonna take themselves,” she points to the camera she has on a strap around her neck. Oh, Sam would love her.  “Goodbye, miss. Perhaps we’ll meet again at a different time.” 

I turn on my heel and head immediately for Linda’s booth. When I get there, Linda’s back is turned to me as she rifles through the totes sitting on the table behind her. I pause to admire the little trinkets she has sitting for sale. 

“Linda, Darling,” I start, chuckling a little bit as she jumps before turning around, “You are underselling yourself. You could charge at least $2 more for these!”  “Joshua,” She places a hand to her heart, feigning shock, “you nearly gave an old woman a heart attack. Are you proud of yourself?” “Very!” I place the hand-sewn pot holder back on the table in front of me.  “Haven’t seen you at the tavern lately. Is there something I should know?” “Oh, yes, dear. I’ve begun seeing a man, and he is taking up all my time.” I stare blankly at her, knowing she’s lying. We would have been the first to know if she were seeing a new man. She would have brought him in to see if we could scare him off. “Lin,” I start, “Please be serious. I know you better than that.” She lets out a small chuckle before shrugging her shoulders. “Look, I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve had a stroke of inspiration and been busy making new things for the booth.” I look down at the table and spot a few new items I’ve never seen before. “Well, they’re stunning, dear. But Sam misses you. I miss you. You gotta come back to the bar soon.” She nodded and shooed me away, clearly over my antics.  “What if I wanted to buy something?” I pout at her. “You know your money’s no good here,” she rolls her eyes at me. I huff, picking up a set of pot holders. “Can I at least buy you a drink the next time you're in Caravel?”  “Fine. Now scoot, you're scaring away potential customers.” I chuckle and begin to walk away when I hear her call back out, “Oh, and Josh… You seem happier. Don’t let me forget to grill you about that later.” “Yes, ma’am.”

I begin to weave through the farmer’s market, stopping at a few different stalls to pick up the items from my list. I get distracted by one stall specifically that sells art supplies. I’ve always known this stall was here but never thought to check it out—it seems a bit silly since I work at Hobby Lobby. I stopped today because my eyes were drawn to a small display of leather roll-up pencil cases. They were hand-stamped in varying designs. I picked up the first one that caught my eye, a deep brown sheepskin with a gold foil geometric pattern embossed on the front. 

Quinn. 

“Excuse me,” I interrupt the employee, noting the embossing station set up in the back corner of the booth, “do you do personalizations?” “Yes, we do, sir.” She responds with a smile.  “Perfect! Can I get a name added to the bottom corner here?” I point out the free space along the right edge.  “Of course! Do you want it gilded as well?”  I nod, write down the details, and hand my debit card to the employee without even checking the price.  “This shouldn't take very long at all, and I'm sure,” she holds the piece of paper out in front of her, reading the name, “Quinn will love this.” 

I smile and let my fingers flit over the rest of their items, biding time while Quinn’s gift is prepared. Oh, I hope they love it. I hope they don't think I'm insane for this. After a few moments, the employee hands the pencil case back to me. 

“You don't have to pick any up today, but this will eventually require a leather conditioner to keep the leather soft and bendable.”  “I’ll make sure to pick some up. Thank you!”  I throw the case into my canvas tote, along with the other goodies I picked up, and head back to my truck, unable to keep the smile off my face the entire way home. 

I pull into the parking lot of the bar and grab the tote bag from my front seat, slinging it over my arm as I hop out of the driver’s side. I let out a small giggle to myself, thinking about how shocked Jake is going to be when I come in with items for the bar. I slowly begin making my way to the front door, praying that no one is inside so I can halfway dish with Jake. I didn’t see any cars in the parking lot, but as we all know, that doesn’t mean a whole hell of a lot if it’s a bar you’re walking into. 

I kick the door to the tavern open, shoving my way inside and immediately locking eyes on Jake. “Honey, I’m home!” I see Jake just shake his head and continue on with wiping down the bar top. I roll my eyes at him. He always seems to be moving, always cleaning, always taking care of something. He never leaves time for small enjoyments, or breaks, or even (my favorite activity) people watching. I worry about how he may get burnt out, he loves this bar and I don’t want anything to stand in the way of that. “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” He breaks my chain of thought with a light chuckle. “Sorry, kiddo,” he scoffs at my nickname for him, “I had shit to do today.” I shake my bag from the farmer’s market for emphasis, before sitting on one of the stools in front of him and sliding it over to him. I busy myself on my phone while he looks through the items I bought for him. I wonder if I could find Quinn on Instagram. No, that’s insane. They didn’t give you their socials, don’t go hunting for them. I scrub one hand down my face, letting out a sigh. The thoughts are loud today. “Hey, Bub?” Jake asks, holding in a laugh. “Mm?” “I don’t think this is for me,” he fully laughs at that. I look up from my phone, eyes widening as I see that he’s holding my gift for Quinn in his hand. “Quite right, Kiddo. Hand it over, please.” “Who’s this for?” He turns it over in his hand, clocking the name I had embossed on the front of it. “A friend,” I offer no further information. “Cute, I wasn’t aware you had those. Especially one named Quinn,” He winks, “Or is this the person you told me about the other day?” I look around the bar, seeing one person sitting off in the corner wearing a Boston Red Sox hat, and I lower my voice. “Yeah. I, uh, actually had coffee with them this morning before I hit the farmer’s market.” “Why are you whispering?” “You never know who’s listening,” I shrug. Jake rolls his eyes in response, but gestures for me to continue. “I went down to Higher Grounds, you know, to work on my writing, and they were just…There. It felt like some kind of divine intervention or something.” “You are far too romantic for your own good,” he lets out a laugh. “I’m not romantic, it’s just– what are the odds?” “The odds of two queer people running into each other at a weed cafe? Pretty high, I’d guess.”

I reach over the bar, attempting to wrap my arm around his neck to get him in a headlock, but he dodges it. “Gotta try harder than that, bub,” he adds, putting further distance between us.  I roll my eyes, but settle back into my seat before continuing. “We just sat together, and they told me about their job and we shared our art. Quinn is such a beautiful artist, “ I sigh, recognizing how pathetic I probably sound, “and so, I saw the pencil case and I picked it up.” “And asked them to customize it,” Jake raised an eyebrow. “Sue me, their partner sucks. I wanted to do something nice.”“Mhmmmm” 

Before I can add anything else, the person in the corner of the bar slams their hands down on the table, drawing mine and Jake’s attention. I watch as he slowly removes his ball cap, revealing his face. “Josh,” he smirks, “If you’re worried about people overhearing you, maybe you should learn how to actually whisper.” Fucking Craig. Really? Is he stalking me? “Oh, how nice to see you again, Greg,” I let out a mirthless chuckle, “How are you enjoying your time in Caravel Tavern?” “The company leaves much to be desired, curious if the owner knows what kind of people his workers let run around in here.” Jake clears his throat next to us and my face breaks out into a wicked smile. God, I can’t wait to hear how this goes. He cuts a mischievous glance in my direction before sticking his hand out to introduce himself to Craig. “Jake Kiszka,” he grabs Craig’s hand, shaking it with a bit more force than necessary, “owner.” Craig’s eyes go wide as he pulls his hand from Jake’s grasp, flexing his fingers. “Woah,” he says, stunned, “You guys look alike.” Jake and I make eye contact, a silent conversation passing between us. Is this dude for real? Shockingly yes, he is an absolute buffoon.  Jake rolls his eyes and we both burst out in laughter. This has to be the first time in our entire lives that someone did not immediately clock us as twins. “You think we look alike? Really?” I say, fake excitement riddling my voice, “Can you believe it, Jake?” “I know, I don’t really see it, myself.” Craig’s eyes dart between us, a look of confusion muddling his features. I almost see the gears turning in his head, trying to figure it out. “Don’t hurt yourself there, big guy,” Jake snorts, “we’re twins.” “Oh, so there’s two of you.” “Indeed,” I flash him a grin. “Do I have to worry about you coming after my girlfriend too, buying her presents?”

I watch as Jake finally puts two and two together, after I neglected to fully introduce him to Craig moments ago. He sends me a look that I interpret to mean is this the guy? I nod at him, and a hint of anger flashes across his face. 

“Oh, I know who you are,” he starts, then cuts himself off. I see Jake calculate his next steps. His mind warring between tearing into Craig on my, and Quinn’s, behalf and maintaining the air of a dutiful bar owner. Bar owner won. “I’m going to cut you off, bud. Pay your tab and get out.” Craig huffs, but slams a $20 bill on the counter. “Keep the change, Jake. Surely you need it.” “Planned on it regardless, call it the Asshole Tax,” he turns away from Craig, moving to the cash register. He turns back to Craig and hands him the, unnecessary, receipt. “Oh, and tell Quinn that Josh says ‘Hello.’” Anger overtakes Craig’s features and I watch with mild interest as he curls and uncurls his fist a few times, before ultimately deciding better of trying anything with Jake. He turns without a word and rushes out the front door of the bar. Finally, when the bell above the door stops tinkling, I look toward Jake. My younger brother, always ready to protect me from the world. It seems silly, but I feel a tear well in my eye, thinking about how many times he has gone to bat for me. Thinking about how many times he has put his neck out just to ensure that I don’t have to. As if understanding where my thoughts had drifted to, he walks out from behind the bar, claps a hand on my shoulder and pulls me in for a quick hug. 

“Thank you,” I whisper. “It’s nothing.” “I tried to do something nice for you today, and you still ended up saving my ass.” Jake chuckles and pulls away, looking toward the discarded bag on the bar. “Well, you saved me from having to run out and get eggs before our evening rush. So, thank you.”

He pats my shoulder again, before turning and walking back to his office and I take it as my cue to leave. I pick up Quinn’s present, absentmindedly rubbing the leather between my fingers as I head up to the apartment above the bar. 

We’ll see where this goes…

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[cyncerity]

Cyn I am thinking about your store au i am shaking you do you have ideas

YES IN FACT I DO

ok so since i haven’t actually talked about it before in depth: let’s talk about Bad and Skeppy, cause why not?

In this au, as discussed in this story, Sapnap found out about storage instinct through an incident with Bad being in danger and Sapnap storing him. What I haven’t discussed was what happened after that. In the story I just said he “took Quackity and Karl and never went back.”

So, after the incident, Sapnap very literally did just that. Him and his boyfriends had been talking about finding somewhere else to live, so after Sapnap let Bad out (Bad had passed out cause of fear and exhaustion and at that point it was pretty much the middle of the night, so Sapnap was able to sneak him into his house without waking Skeppy), he went to his house with Quackity and Karl and asked them to move out asap.

Quackity went to talk to Sam (his dad) and his sister (Tina), who said it was ok, and Karl didnt have a family (he was taken in by Bad, Skeppy, and Sam during his early teens when his colony had been raided) so he was down with it, too. Sapnap told them that Bad and Skeppy were good with it and that he’d already said his goodbyes and grabbed his stuff, so after Quackity and Karl said their goodbyes (to everyone except happy duo, Sapnap begged them not to talk to them [they found this odd but did as Sapnap asked]), they made their way out of the forest, never to return.

Meanwhile, Bad had woken up and was immediately on edge and panicking over what had happened the night before. Eventually Skeppy woke up and tried to calm him down, but nothing worked. Worse yet, Bad wouldn’t say a word about it. Not about how he was feeling, not about why he was panicking, only asking where his son was. Skeppy obviously didn’t know, and Bad wasn’t exactly about to go and look for him. He spent all day in his bedroom crying and trying to figure out what had happened, Skeppy staying by his side all day to comfort him without fully understanding why, but it wasn’t helping. Bad wouldn’t spill. After all, how was he supposed to tell his husband that his son almost ate him, killed him? He couldn’t. Even if Skeppy and Bad were both well aware that Sapnap was a shifter (something that all three of them [and no one else: they’d vowed to keep it a secret] had learned a few weeks prior in a horrifying way), this was something completely different. So he sobbed in silence.

The first day Sapnap didn’t come to their home (what he usually did on a daily basis), it was a relief. Bad refused to leave for fear of seeing his son, and Skeppy refused to let Bad be alone. The second day was the same. The third day, Skeppy became concerned, but still wouldn’t leave Bad. After all, Sapnap was pretty much a grown man, he could handle himself.

After a week and a half, Skeppy left the house to find his stepson. At that point, even Bad had become concerned. Even if he still didn’t want to see him, he didn’t want anything bad to have happened to him, despite everything. He was still his son.

But, after Skeppy approached Sam, he learned that Sapnap had left for good. Sam had seemed confused, saying that Sapnap had claimed he’d said his goodbyes, but Skeppy was shocked. Why would he have moved out without telling his dads? Did this have something to do with what was going on with Bad? Sam also mentioned that Sapnap had seemed very on edge the day he’d left, did that have to do with it?

Skeppy went home and immediately told Bad, who felt a mixture of relief and horror. Relief that nothing like what had happened to him could happen to anyone else he loved, and horror that he’d ever think something like that about his own child. He didn’t want their time together to end like this. They’d had an amazing relationship for their entire lives up until the past month, but now Sapnap was gone and no one had any way of knowing where he went off to.

Flash Forward a few years to the time of the present story-

Sam, Bad, Skeppy, and a few other friends they’ve managed to collect all live in pretty much the same area that they always did, growing it from just a couple families (like it had been when the fiancés were there) to a full on borrower colony. It’s been years and for the three dads, there’s still been pretty much no sign of their boys. For Sam, even Tina moved to a new colony, though she still sometimes comes to visit. For Bad and Skeppy, they’ve kept Sapnap being a shifter a secret, not that it matters much anymore. There’s been no contact, nothing to show them that their son and his fiancés are ok, nothing to even show they’re still alive, for all they know. Skeppy’s still hurt that Sapnap left with no warning and not even a note, and Bad just wishes something could have been different. He still hasn’t told anyone, not even Skeppy, what happened all those years ago; he can still barely stand to think of it himself. But that’s their past, and in their present, there’s not much food left in the area to scavenge. So, the three older members of their newfound colony go out in search of easy to reach food.

Wouldn’t luck have it that there was a whole human convenience store nearby?

[motownfiction]

one year after the accident

One year after the accident, Lucy still can’t even think about Cherries Jubilee at Baskin-Robbins. It’s not that she’s ever actually eaten it. As a matter of fact, she’s not sure she’s ever known anyone who’s eaten it. It’s just that whenever she would go into the Baskin-Robbins down on the corner with Sam, they’d make jokes about “obviously getting a scoop of Cherries Jubilee.” The joke began sometime in the ninth grade, when Lucy was going through a phase, trying to find the most unique names for a baby girl in her future. How insightful of her, really. When she read Cherries Jubilee on one of the ice cream tubs, she thought one of those would make a great name. Probably Jubilee. She made the mistake of saying it loud, and Sam – never one to miss a beat – immediately said, “Why not both?” Thankfully, Lucy laughed, and it spiraled into a joke that lasted until the day he died. No one else was ever really in on it. That’s what made it special. Lucy and her friend of distinction.

One year after the accident, Lucy can’t think about “Angel Baby” without remembering that time at her parents’ Fourth of July barbecue. It was the summer between ninth and tenth grade, right after she got the guts to tell Sadie that she was in love with Will. But she didn’t need to admit to Sam. Sam understood everybody. The minute that strange song by Rosie & the Originals began to play from the Callaghans’ turntable, Sam knew what was going on. Will didn’t. He was minding his own business, eating a hot dog, assuming that Lucy could never do something romantic for him, not after all this time. But Sam knew. He sprung into action, spilling some of his Coke on the vinyl tablecloth, and met Lucy in the middle of the driveway for a slow dance. He sang the song in a high falsetto because of course he knew all the words to it. He said they’d make Will jealous. Lucy laughs now, thinking Sam must have wanted to make Will jealous of Lucy, too. Maybe. What a sweetie he was, even then. Especially then.

One year after the accident, Lucy tells herself that she doesn’t have the right to miss Sam. Sure, they had a few special moments, but everyone else in her life was closer to him. Sure, they loved each other as friends, but that’s not the same as losing a son, a brother, an in-law, a godfather, a best friend whom you’ve loved even longer than the wife you’ve known since first grade. None of those people want to see her grieve for him. She’d be making it about herself. It’s not that she didn’t lose Sam. It’s that the people she loves lost him more.

One year after the accident, Lucy tries to pretend like there isn’t a hole in her heart … like her soul doesn’t scratch like a record after it’s been left on the wrong side too long. One year after the accident, she doesn’t even think about whether she should be feeling any way else. That’s just not what you do.

It’s not what you do.

(part of @nosebleedclub poetry month challenge -- day 6!)

[ginkgo-shaw]

hello lovely. thank you for calling my brain enormous 💕

i know this is out of nowhere but i've been wondering for a while, do you have any random spn headcanons that you just wanna... put out there? bc i'd love to hear them

you don’t have to thank me sweetheart!! it’s my pleasure 🫶🏻

indeed, i do have some spn headcanons to share with you :

for starters, i think jess knew, vaguely, what sam and his family were doing. sam never told her about the monsters because he didn’t want to involve her in all this mess but she picked up some things (the salt lines, the guns hidden etc). jess didn’t believe it though and thought that sam was just badly coping with his traumas so she didn’t say anything and let him do whatever he needed to.

i also headcanon that when mary came back, she was frightened by her boys. not because her babies were not babies anymore or because she missed everything in their lives. she was frightened because she thought sam and dean were weird : they’d sit too close to each other, they’d sleep in the same bed (sometimes in the bunker but it happens mostly in motels), they’d have conversations without talking, on hunts they wouldn’t hesitate to make the dumbest moves to save each other and they’d go feral if anyone or anything tries to hurt the other. dean was taking care of sam like his kid and sam was looking up at dean like he was some god. they couldn’t be separated and mary was so lost and she didn’t understand why they were like that (this is all purely platonic obviously!!! they’re just weird boys).

also, i think that sam can speak enochian. after all the time he spent in the cage with lucifer and michael, most likely only speaking enochian, he leant the language and would probably speak it with castiel sometimes without really thinking about it.

furthermore, i like to think that sam never lost his psychic powers but would used them in secret and for dumb little things like to win against dean when they’d make bets for example. he was afraid that dean wouldn’t like the idea of him still having powers so he hid them.

finally, this is not a really a headcanon but we know since ghostfacers that sam and dean are censored. and i’m certain that not only were their words censored, some of their behaviours and actions were too. those guys are hunters, they were barely raised and most of their interactions with the world was through schools they didn’t always attended because they were on the road. so obviously they were cute and nice and cool but this was mostly to us viewers (because we know all the pain and the loss they went through). but i know sam and dean are terrifying ; they’re always swearing, they’re not really nice nor kind to other people, they most likely smoke, they kill (people and monsters) without battling an eye, every monster and hunter who’s not their friend are afraid of them. i can add that dean certainly has the worst manners if it’s not to get laid.

i’d love to hear your thoughts and your headcanons too!!

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Yuu can do it!

Part 27

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Ito sighed, rubbing their temples. They needed a couple of minutes alone to think.

Also, Ace and Deuce were already starting to complain and, quite frankly, they didn’t want to deal with it.

So, the moment they stepped back through the mirror, Ito let go of Ace and broke away from the group. “I need to go to work,” they lied through their teeth, sending an apologetic look back at their friends.

Kuroki’s eyes narrowed. “Bullshit. You don’t have set hours.”

“Sorry, bud, can’t hear you, in work mode,” Ito said.

But, despite what they said, they did hear Enma clear his throat and say: “Well, I actually do have set hours, soooooooo…”

“Set hours that I know for a fact you don’t have today,” Kuroki said, grabbing him by the wrist before the boy could abandon him. “You are not leaving me.”

In their moment of distraction, Ito fled down a different hallway.

~

It bought them a little time to clear their head. They had much to think about. And also a lot of work to do if they wanted to get the library to the point where it could be considered anything close to ‘orderly’. They had a plan, obviously, one that involved using a heck of a lot of the budget purely to annoy Crowley as revenge for giving them this impossible task… but, man, staring at the mountain of books by their desk was depressing.

They didn’t get much time alone, though. Obviously. Their dormmates knew where they worked, after all.

Honestly, Ito was mildly surprised by just how long it took them. Until they noticed that Ace and Deuce were both carrying bags adorned with the logo for Sam’s Shop (a skull wearing a tophat, inscribed in what seemed to be a rune of some sort). Okay. Looks like they were officially going to be staying at the Ramshackle Dorm for the foreseeable future. Ito would probably need to take off work early to help them all set up a room or two for the boys, because sleeping on the floor was not fun.

How sad they were that they might need to leave early. Truly, they wished to stay longer and help Crowley more. But they simply had no choice. This was their cross to bear.

“How’s being a pink-collar worker?” Ace teased.

“Pink-collar?” Enma said, his eyebrows knitting together.

“Jobs that are traditionally done by women,” Kuroki sighed. And then he yanked at Ace’s much more literal collar. “And, maybe, not the best time to tease people about their neckwear.”

Ace huffed at the reminder.

“Ai, if you guys start fighting in here, Crowley will have my head. Do it in the hallway so I can have plausible deniability.”

There was a beat as Ace seemed to genuinely consider it.

Ito sighed. “Don’t, please, I was kidding. And, to answer your question: whoever organized the library last – if anyone ever even did – put cookbooks next to books on childhood trauma.”

“It could be right. If a kid tried my cooking, they’d be traumatized,” Enma offered.

“I still don’t see how you can mess up cutting vegetables,” said Kuroki, narrowing his eyes at him.

“And, if there is anyone up there, you never will have to see – or worse, taste,” he said solemnly.

Kuroki rolled his eyes. “Weaponized incompetence.”

Enma rolled his eyes right back. “Last time I tried to cook I messed up mac n’ cheese.”

“... how?!”

Enma was saved from explaining himself (sadly, Ito was genuinely intrigued by that specific line of conversation) by Deuce tugging on Kuroki’s sleeve:

“Kuroki-san…”

“I don’t think that honorific bodes well for me.”

“I need help with my homework.”

Kuroki sighed. Deeply. But he nodded.

Grim huffed and abandoned ship before he would have to do something as nerdy as homework. Ito noticed, absently, that now that the monster was wearing a collar he was unable to float, and that the monster seemed very annoyed about this as he was forced to hop up onto Ito’s (admittedly rather tall in comparison to Grim) desk manually.

Much to their annoyance. The monster had sat down on one of the papers they needed. Despite the monster’s insistence, he definitely did have a lot of Cat traits.

But, before they could tell the monster off,  Enma leaned against the desk as well, grinning. “Can I check out a book or will you have a breakdown?”

Ito clicked their tongue. “Go ahead. Just bring it to me when you’re done. Don’t put it back where you found it. I’m pretty sure that’s why this place is so messed up.”

He flashed a quick ‘ok’ sign and then promptly disappeared down the many aisles of books in search of something to read.

“That guy is the nerdiest jock I’ve ever met,” Ace commented.

Ito snorted. “Well, if you insist on putting labels on people then, yeah, you’re eventually going to find people that don’t really fit them.”

Ace narrowed his eyes at them. “Are you mad?”

“Mmm…” Ito hummed, the word ‘no’ on their tongue, but Ace seemed to already know the answer, and lying likely wouldn’t convince him otherwise. So, they shrugged a little and said, “Kind of. Not at any of you.”

“At Crowley?” Ace guessed.

“Not at the moment.”

“The ex-librarian?”

Ito’s lips twitched into a wry grin. “Well, maybe a little, but not who I’m thinking of right now.”

“Is it at the Housewarden?” Ace asked, hopeful.

“Nope,” they said. “But you can rant about him if you want. This is kind of mind-numbing.”

Ace lit up. Clearly, this is what he had been after all along. He slung an arm over their shoulders, leaning heavily on them as he began to complain, at length, about the Housewarden and his insane policies and how Riddle threw tantrums whenever things didn’t go his way and…

Grim rested his head in his paws and mouthed along in the background, the way one might with a song he had listened to dozens of times. It wasn’t a song, but Ito was more than sure that the hour they had been gone had been full of these exact complaints, said over and over again to anyone that would even pretend to listen.

Something that was further proven when Enma started to head over to read by Ito, overheard maybe three words, groaned, and immediately turned around to look for Kuroki and Deuce instead.

It was when Ito had started genuinely wondering how someone could say the same two things repeatedly while still changing the wording every time, that Ace’s flow was broken:

“Hey,” an unknown voice said.

Ito glanced up, expecting someone to ask them a question about the library (or, more likely, a fight, considering how everyone at this godforsaken school was), only to find themself speechless.

Grim peeked an eye open, saw what was there, and immediately decided to play dead. Complete with a blue tongue lolling out of his mouth.

Ace did not notice any of this, barely even waving a hand in acknowledgment of the person, still only concerned with complaining about the Housewarden like there was no tomorrow. Which simply could not do, apparently, because he was soon baited into looking over:

“Nice collar you’ve got there.”

Ace whipped around, mouth open, clearly about to tell the person off, but instead he shrieked.

“Hey, it’s a library,” said the fucking floating head. “Keep your voice down, yeah?”

Ace made a pitiful squeaking noise in lieu of an answer.

Kuroki, Enma, and Deuce rounded the corner in a rush, their eyes wide. But this was nothing compared to how wide their eyes got when they saw the floating head with no body what the fuck –.

“Ghost head,” Deuce said, maybe a little late, maybe a little simplistic in his wording, but accurate nonetheless. “That’s a ghost head.”

“Oh dear. It seems that I’m not all here,” said the head. They made no move at all to right this wrong. Honestly, Ito didn’t care much about most things, but they thought even they would be concerned if their body had gone missing. Was this a common occurrence for the head?

“So… you have a body, then?” said Deuce.

The head nodded, and wow was that weird to look at.

Not because of the head itself. The head was… nice looking, Ito supposed. Vibrant purple and pink hair, cat ears adorned with piercings, yellow eyes that glimmered with mirth. It was tough to get past the lack of body, though.

“Who’re you?” Grim squeaked.

“Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker. Local conyandrum. Am I a cat? Am I a purrson? Wouldn’t mew like to know?”

Ito had been given way too much to process in a short period of time. Why is this person naught but a floating head? What kind of sadistic people gave him his name? Did that guy just meow at them?

On the other end of the spectrum, it seemed that the puns and intrigue surrounding the boy’s current lack of body had instantly won over Enma. They needed to do something about that boy’s lack of self-preservation.

Thankfully, Enma’s reaction was very much in the minority. Most people were closer to Ito in their reactions:

Ace put a hand to his temple, his brain clearly working overtime to make sense of whatever was going on. “Ooookay, listen, Art –... Arty? Run that name by me again?”

“People usually just call me Chenya,” the head offered, and thank god for that. “I’m, y’know, from the other side of the looking glass.”

Ito did not know. “Great. Another weird one.”

Chenya grinned. “You think? I’d say I’m just about as mad as any other purrson mew hang out with.”

“Hence the word ‘another’,” Ito said.

They ignored Kuroki’s sound of vague protest and Enma’s mumble of ‘pot, meet kettle’.

Ace didn’t seem to be pleased by this observation, either: “I don’t have the energy to deal with… whatever this is. Just leave us alone, man.”

“Aw, but I couldn’t help but overhear you complaining about the local… oh, what’d you call him? ‘Teapot tyrant’?” Chenya said, and Ito got the weird impression that the boy was crossing seemingly nonexistent arms.

“I mean…” Enma said. “Ace-kun really should learn when and when not to talk bad about someone. Most notably: in public, where they can overhear or where someone else can hear and tell them.”

Ace scowled. “Hey, he’s not here, you don’t need to lick his high heels or whatever. He can’t even collar you because you’re not in his dorm, and it wouldn’t affect you if he did. Relax. The bitch has no control over you.”

“Someone has learned nothing from what happened at lunch yesterday,” Kuroki commented, more amused than anything.

The tips of Ace’s ears turned red. “Doesn’t mean I was wrong! He’s crazy, and so are all of those insane rules he follows!”

“Can’t really say that’s wrong, purr say,” Chenya offered. “Riddle’s always been pretty strict, even as a kit.”

Deuce’s eyebrows knit. “As a kit – I mean – kid? Do you know anything about him?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

Enma’s eye twitched. Oh? Perhaps he would figure out self-preservation on his own because the thing that fascinated and amused him was also extremely aggravating to interrogate.

(Not that they were interrogating Chenya, of course, that was  – probably – illegal. They simply had a couple of questions for him that they intended to get answers for in any way necessary. Like a very weird form of hazing. Unless hazing was also illegal. In which case they were not doing that, either… hey look Enma is annoyed!)

“Not an answer.”

“You didn’t ask an easy question to answer,” Chenya said as a counter. “Do you have anything you want to know?”

“Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with him?” Ace said bluntly.

Chenya’s eyes gleamed. “I believe your four-eyed friend might know.”

There was a beat as everyone went through their mental catalog of ‘friends’, trying to figure out which one that the head was talking about.

Grim, either mentally linked to Chenya on account of their shared cat-like traits or just rude enough to know who it was instantly, said: “You mean that Trey guy? What about him?”

“He’s known Riddle since we were all kids,” said Chenya.

Ito frowned. “You keep saying things that suggest you’ve known him just as long. Why won’t you just tell us?”

Chenya’s lips curled into a smirk of sorts. “If you’re that perceptive, then why do you need me to answer things for you?”

And then, as quickly as he had appeared, the head popped right out of existence.

“... spooky bitch,” Kuroki mumbled.

“No one makes any sense here,” Grim complained.

Enma crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, I’m sure he could have made sense if he’d wanted to. But he didn’t.”

Kuroki shrugged. “Well, he did give us something, at least.”

Deuce frowned. “I don’t know, did he? I never really got the impression that Trey-senpai and the Housewarden were childhood friends, of all things…”

“It’s all we’ve got,” Kuroki sighed.

Enma nodded his agreement. “And we just finished our homework, so it’s not like we have anything better to do. No offense, Ito, but you’re not exactly my type, so watching you write just doesn’t seem fun to me.”

“None taken.” Ito tapped the end of their pen to their lips, quietly mulling things over, before shrugging to themself. “You guys should stay, though. That cookbook he used was from here. He’ll have to come back to return it at some point.”

~

They passed the time. Ace and Deuce played a couple of games of finger football. Kuroki decided he was going to braid Ito’s hair despite their complaints that it would get frizzy and Ito didn’t genuinely care enough to stop him. Enma went back to reading his book on yagujen. Grim slept, as always.

Ito worked. As people with jobs are wont to do.

And, eventually, Trey came in. Amber eyes caught on a sign by the door, asking everyone to hand the books they were returning to the person at the front desk, and he took a couple more steps inside before looking at the aforementioned desk. Which was surrounded by people. Trey’s shoulders tensed.

“Oh,” said Trey, quietly. He took just a few more steps forward, enough so that he could hand over the cookbook, but was still trying to keep his distance. “Heyyyyy, everyone.”

Ito bit their tongue to stop their teeth from grinding together as they added another book to the pile of things to be categorized.

“Hi, Senpai!” Enma said amiably.

Trey lifted a hand in a wave, however hesitant. “Are you guys…?”

“Here for you? Kinda. They are. I’m stuck here,” said Ito, shrugging.

“We’ve got a problem with the way Housewarden Riddle is handling all of this,” Ace cut straight to the point.

“Ah, yes, I assumed that would be the case…”

“What do you think about the whole thing?” Deuce said, not quite accusatory yet, but bordering on it.

Trey chanced a look back towards the exit, blatantly considering making a break for it.

An option that was quickly made far harder when Ace slung an arm over Trey’s shoulder, dragging him into his side. An action that seemed friendly on the surface, if it weren’t clearly just a way to trap him.

Which might have been intimidating if Ace wasn’t, like, ten centimeters (or four inches) shorter.

He smiled evilly in an attempt to make up for the loss of fear factor. “Really, do tell. You and Riddle are childhood friends, right? Have you been pandering to him all this time or is it a new thing?”

Trey raised an eyebrow. “Who told you that?”

“Some weird guy named Chenya,” said Grim.

“Chenya?” said Trey. He gave a small, fond sigh. “That explains it, yeah.”

“Off-topic,” Ace said, waving a hand vaguely.

“Right…” Deuce said. “You never answered. You don’t really think that what Rosehearts-senpai is doing is right do you?”

“Well…” said Trey, which wasn’t an answer but also definitely was.

“Aren’t you older than Rosehearts-senpai? He seems the type to look up to authority.”

A couple of side-eyes were sent Enma’s way. Ace coughed into his hand, and the cough sounded strangely like the word ‘hypocrite’, but that was surely a coincidence.

Enma ignored them all. “And if you’ve really known him all this long, shouldn’t a good friend tell their friends when they’re messing up?”

“I do when I need to,” Trey said, careful in his attempts to placate them all. “I don’t think the situation calls for it.”

Attempts that went completely unappreciated:

“You don’t?!” Ace said incredulously.

“Listen,” Trey said, but he didn’t seem to have much for them to listen to. No words escaped him for quite a while, despite him opening and closing his mouth several times. He pressed his lips together thinly. And then he sighed, all of his energy bleeding out of him. “Okay, you have to understand, these sort of strict rules made Riddle.”

Everyone stared at him like he was insane. As was normal when you say sentences that don’t really make sense without context.

Trey pushed up his glasses to rub the space between his eyes. “His parents were famous doctors – like, super famous, everyone where we’re from knows about the Rosehearts… and, uh, his mom really wanted Riddle to live up to her legacy.”

Enma’s nose scrunched.

“Exactly,” Trey said, sending a pained smile. “Basically, Riddle would spend every second of every day following this education program she made for him.”

“Sounds like it sucks,” said Grim, ever the well-spoken monster.

“Yep. What he ate, what he wore, what soap he used, who his friends were – she decided all of that for him. And Riddle did it.” Trey leaned forward, almost conspiratorial. “And, get this: it worked. He mastered his signature spell by age ten. He’s the top student in all of his classes.”

Kuroki nodded thoughtfully. “Well, if it worked for him, then he probably thinks it’ll work for everybody.”

“Exactly. He thinks he’s helping his dorm members grow. And breaking rules gets in the way of that.”

“I guess that makes sense,” said Ace, slowly, his eyes narrowed.

“Look, you see Riddle as a tyrant, and I get that, but… I can’t hold it against him, y’know?”

Grim nodded slowly. He flicked a no-longer-flaming ear, pretending to have a particularly bad itch back there to avoid Trey’s eyes.

Deuce wrung his hands. “So, that’s why, then…”

“I understand now,” said Ace, but he seemed no calmer. He jabbed a finger into Trey’s chest. “You’re the reason Riddle’s like this.”

“WHAT?!” everyone chorused.

(Ito coughed into their hand to hide their laugh. It was more startled than genuinely amused, but still probably a bad look.)

“You know what his parents did to him, and you know it was wrong, right?”

“I mean… yeah…?”

Ace sneered. “Well, Riddle is making the same mistake his parents did. And you know that’s wrong. He’s your friend. Don’t you want to yell at his parents sometimes? Yeah, right? Then do you really want him to become them?”

Trey’s eyes widened.

“You say you just can’t bring yourself to be mad at him,” Ace said, giving a mocking pout for just a moment before his face began twisting into a sneer. “You guys are supposed to be childhood friends!”

“Ace, man, come on…” said Deuce, putting a hand on Ace’s shoulder, trying to get him to calm down.

He was shrugged off. “You’re letting him go down a bad path. What kind of shitty friend does that? You want to call yourself his friend? Then FUCKING ACT LIKE IT.”

“HEY,” said Crowley, popping up out of nowhere.

The first years all jolted in surprise, but Trey seemed hardly affected. Outside of the usual sheepishness that came with being yelled at by the headmaster, of course.

“YOU THERE, BE QUIET! YOU’RE IN A LIBRARY!”

“You’re louder than any of us, though,” said Grim, pressing down on his ears.

Crowley could not blink in surprise, but it very much seemed like he did. He coughed into his hand. “Oh. Right. My apologies. But let us all strive to maintain the library as a quiet place for reading from now on, yes? Surely this –.”

He cast his gaze around, only to find Ito trying to disappear behind their now useful pile of books. Or almost useful, since he had still spotted them.

“Ito-kun. They were yelling right in front of you! Why did you not try to bring order?”

Ito shrugged. “It was interesting.”

(Kuroki shoulders trembled in silent laughter. Enma cuffed them both over the back of the head.)

The Headmage sighed. Softly, with feeling. “Fine. You’d better be right. What, pray tell, was so interesting?”

Deuce was quick to jump in: “Well, since you asked…”

It took a while to catch Crowely up, but he was a surprisingly attentive listener. Sure, he’d listened to their explanation of what had gone on at the mines, but he’d had a vested interest in making sure they were okay. Because if they weren’t then he might have been held liable. This was all just petty gossip about dorm members.

Maybe he was just interested in the goings on campus?

No, that didn’t sound like him.

Maybe the guy just liked drama.

It made sense, he was pretty dramatic.

Now, though, he was strangely serious as he brought his hand up to cradle his own chin, thinking. “I believe I understand… you are resistant to apologizing, but unable to devise any other method of getting the Housewarden to remove the collar.”

Ace nodded fervently.

“Well, if you and the Housewarden are truly unable to reconcile, you could always transfer. However, the Dark Mirror chose that dorm for you using the essence of your being, any attempt to relocate would necessitate a burdensome process, as well as a new ritual.”

Ito was suddenly very against Ace joining their dorm. Because they had their doubts that Crowley would be the one to carry out that ‘burdensome process’. And, quite possibly, they would be in charge of setting up the ritual as well, if only the non-magical parts. “Don’t you fucking dare,” they hissed.

Ace’s eyes gleamed with mirth, and he seemed to seriously consider it for just a moment. The prick.

But then he shook his head. “That feels like running away.”

Crowley hummed thoughtfully. “Then it sounds like you should challenge Rosehearts-kun for leadership of the dorm.”

“WHAAAAAT?!” The first years chorused.

“What did I say about lowering your voices?”

Okay. It was their turn to be sheepish.

But ‘Ace’ and ‘sheepish’ should never be in the same sentence, so he was entirely unapologetic: “But what you said was insane!”

“There is nothing remotely ‘insane’ about it. It’s how Rosehearts-kun first got the position, after all.”

Ito raised an eyebrow. They’d just assumed that it was based on academic merit, especially since Riddle had put so much weight on his academic standing making him ‘the most correct’, but…

“How do you become a Housewarden?”

“There are several ways. You could be appointed by the previous Housewarden, or it could be decided through a select procedure that is specific to the dorm. In your case, at Heartslabyul, this would be through a duel.”

Ace looked a little hopeful. “I thought fighting with magic was against the rules.”

Kuroki snorted. “That’s never stopped anyone here before,” he pointed out.

Ace tipped his head to the side consideringly.

Crowley eyed the two of them warily for just a moment before seeming to decide that it wasn’t worth it. “... in general, yes, fighting with magic is not allowed here. However, a formal process in the presence of the Headmage is another matter entirely.”

Ace huffed, a little put out, but not entirely. “So… will it work?”

Trey crossed his arms over his chest. “Well… I’m pretty sure the rules wouldn’t allow for preemptively handicapping your opponent. So this could force Riddle to remove your collar without apologizing. But –.”

“The right to challenge a Housewarden is bestowed upon all students when enrolling at Night Raven College. So, will you challenge Rosehearts-kun?”

Ace didn’t even hesitate. “Sure, worth a shot.”

Deuce did hesitate for a moment longer, but he eventually shrugged. “Becoming Housewarden within the first week would put me well on my way to being an honor student.”

“I want to beat up the brat, too!” Grim said, raising a paw.

“I’m afraid not, Grim-kun. You cannot challenge a Housewarden of a dorm to which you do not belong.”

Grim groaned and flopped against the table. “I’m never getting this thing off…”

“When I’m Housewarden, I’ll make Riddle remove it,” said Ace, a surprisingly nice gesture from the redhead.

“But then no one will know how cool I am,” Grim whined.

“We know how cool you are,” said Kuroki.

Ito and Enma shared skeptical glances. They might have given the monster ‘cute’, but cool…?

Trey looked between them all for just a moment before sighing. “I know you’ve all devolved into messing around, so it’s probably already decided… but… are you guys really sure about this? Deuce? This seems… unlike you.”

“Every man’s gotta make a grab for glory at least once in his lifetime,” said Deuce, grinning. He glanced at Ace. “And I will be the one to get the glory, okay? If we’re teaming up, you’d better believe I’m going to be the leader, yeah?”

Ace groaned. “Here we go again.”

“Huh?” Deuce’s expression darkened. “What’d you say? I have more experience with this kind of thing, anyways –.”

“That’s my cue to leave,” said Crowley, standing abruptly from where he had perched on Ito’s desk – what was it with people and their desk? But they couldn’t even take a moment to appreciate the newly-cleared workspace. “We should get started on the paperwork.”

Ito’s mouth dropped open. They were filing paperwork anyways?! What a scam!

They were still deciding on whether they would prefer glaring at Ace and Deuce for making them do this or sending them pleading looks to try and make them take it back, when the Headmaster placed a hand on their shoulder and steered them out.

~

They groaned as they stumbled back into their shared room with Enma and Kuroki, their back aching from leaning over a tablet for so long, their vision still swimming with formal words they only half understood. They glanced towards the bathroom, with its unfortunately cold shower, and decided that it’d be a problem for the next day. They could go to class with wet hair. Who cares.

They changed quickly before collapsing into bed.

“So?”

“They’ve got their own rooms,” Enma reported. “The ghosts even helped us clean for them. I think they’re warming up to them.”

“We should warn them about traps tomorrow, then,” Ito yawned. “Did you guys come up with any way to deal with the duel tomorrow?”

“Best chance is that they try and fire off a shot before Riddle. The guy looks weak, he probably can’t take a hit, so… Deuce sends out a spell, Ace uses his wind magic to speed it up, and we pray that you can’t block spells in this world.”

Ito hummed their understanding. That all made sense.

The quick catch-up session quieted for a moment as they all shifted into their usual sleep positions.

“So… we agree they’re doomed, right?” said Kuroki after a few moments.

Enma hummed his agreement. “We did what we could. It’s on them for choosing to try and fight their senior with magic. Honestly, their best shot is waiting for Rosehearts-senpai to take off their collars and make a run for it.”

Kuroki raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you suggest it earlier?”

“It’d be dishonorable,” said Enma, looking aghast.

“You want to know what’s dishonorable? Forgoing a fair and square rock-paper-scissors game to push your, poor, frail classmate off the bed –.”

“Oh my gosh. That was, like, yesterday. Let it go.”

Ito sighed as they half-listened to Enma and Kuroki bicker, peering up at the ceiling as if it might reveal to them what they should do about the upcoming duel.

But there were no words written among the dust, and they soon decided that they’d rather just sleep on it.

[gabbysdawsons]

Okay so I had some more ideas for the crossover between Abra and my Dev, and you can tell me if anything feels off to you but I kind of felt like I had to share them (and also I would very much like to be better friends with you so this is me trying to start a conversation):

So I feel like their first meeting would be something like, Steve brings Dev to the tower to meet the other Avengers, and Dev is just like… freaking the fuck out because he’s about to meet actual literal superheroes, only to see Abra there because she was already spending time with Clint, and he sort of gravitates towards her because she’s the only other “normal” person there and it puts him at ease.

The initial conversation would probably be kind of stilted, because Dev is not great at talking to new people (mostly due to his problems reading social cues), but I feel like the more they hung out around each other and talked, they’d wind up becoming pretty good friends.

Dev is actually kind of impressed by Abra’s past as a scam artist, mainly because he sucks at lying and is in mild awe of anyone who’s able to do it well enough to make a living out of it (😂).

And he also really admires her for being brave enough to go out and be a hero, even if it was never really what she wanted, because he was never brave enough to do that, even if it might have been easier for him than her because of his mutation.

Speaking of Dev’s mutation, there are very few people in the MCU he actually trusts with the knowledge of his air manipulation (Steve, Sam, and Bucky, obviously, but also Natasha just because it’s lowkey impossible to keep secrets from her), but I really think Abra would be one of those people that he trusts.

I can honestly picture, though, him making a big deal out of it and being crazy nervous and then making a small tornado in his palm to show her and she’s just like, “Huh. Okay,” because this woman has seen Wanda Maximoff’s chaos magic up close and it takes a lot to phase her now.

Also, I can totally see them teasing each other about their respective relationships, especially once Bucky joins Dev and Sam’s relationship, because Bucky is notoriously broody and intimidating and Clint is… well, Clint.

I’m not really sure what Abra’s doing during The Falcon and the Winter Solider, but I can totally see Dev calling her a few times over the course of the story just to freak out about what’s going on.

“Abra?! You are not going to believe this, Bucky just broke Zemo out of prison. Yes, that Zemo… no, you can’t come to Madripoor just to kill him, we kinda need him for this!”

Oooh, and the thought of him becoming kind of an honorary uncle to Kate once Abra and Clint take her in?? Because he can totally relate to the intense social awkwardness she has, and I can picture the two of them just rambling together for hours and Abra just looking on like, “Oh, great, now I’ve got to deal with two of them.”

But yeah, those were just some thoughts I had!! Again, if any of those don’t feel right to you or if you wanna add something else, I’d love to talk to you about it!! Hope you’re doing well!! 🖤🖤🖤

oh i have so many thoughts to add to this!!

Abra has- very few people who are allowed to call her Abby. and by very few people I mean two: Clint, and Nate because he thinks that's her name. However, I do think she would be perfectly okay with Dev calling her Abby because she likes him. he's her friend which she- can't really say about a lot of people she's met through the avengers initiative. 

and she would be so! excited! that Steve even has a friend. because he's her work bestie, she likes knowing that he actually has a friend outside of work, and she likes Dev even more once she realizes he's- almost nothing like most of the people she sees on a daily basis. He's nice and genuine and normal, and it is just so beyond refreshing.

Tbh I think he is also one of the few people she would trust to actually- introduce her kids to. Because- really what are the odds he's going to be some supervillain hellbent on destroying her life?

and yes! when she sees his powers she would just be like "aw. cute!" not even meaning it in a condescending manner, it's just- not a whole lot compared to being put through Wanda's mindmelting reality warp. 

and in terms of them teasing each other. that is perfect. and Abra would, every time she sees Dev and Bucky together, just completely unseriously say "you know he tried to kill me, right?" 

and! she is actually a part of Falcon and Winter Soldier! She had the week off because Clint had the kids so she figured- why not help out where she can? And she- wouldn't love all the superhero stuff, but she would love getting to spend some time with Dev. 

oh okay so this isn't *really* Abra and idk if Dev disappears during Endgame or not, but if he doesn't- I'm just imagining him being Janie's English teacher. and she is- struggling during those 5 years. Clint- really dropped the ball with his parenting and she misses her mom, and she really just needs somebody and Dev was her mom's friend so she would probably end up coming to him for support occasionally. 

and then i made some gifs for them bc i just had to. i kind of love them already

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 121

All Dogs Go to Heaven/The End of Time Part 2

“All Dogs Go to Heaven”

Plot Description: Sent to investigate an apparent werewolf attack, Dean and Sam follow the clues to a mother and son with an unusual dog

(FINALLY someone listed Dean first. It is his birth right as the elder sibling)

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: probably not. Guy didn’t stand a chance, and he didn’t make any horrifically stupid mistakes

Crowley is fucking ruthless

I love the boys being absolutely RUDE, downright INSULTING to the cops while posing as feds

Damn, Sam. You said DEAN was the shoot first ask questions later guy. But now you don’t even wanna INVESTIGATE this guy before definitely declaring him a werewolf??

I’m sorry…what?? I mean, sure it was the dog. You could glean that from the description but…this is…it’s disturbing

Oh god, is the DOG THIS LADY’S EX(/a werewolf)???

SAM!!! That is circumstantial evidence at BEST. (And we know it’s not her)

Sam really would sell anyone to Satan for a corn chip these days. Damn.

Oh no. It’s not a werewolf, but I’m pretty sure it’s wildly disrespectful to indigenous people if *I* say what it actually is

SAM. *SAM*!!!! It shouldn’t be funny. But Sam addressing this dude like a literal dog (because that’s the form he’s taken the whole time) and then answering the guy’s “go to hell” with “already been. Didn’t agree with me” he’s so sassy

There’s THIRTY of them?? Oh…it’s…as Dean said, a sleeper cell. He was supposed to turn the family he’s been staying with once he gets the word

Sam noooo not the whistle and trying to get him to play fetch. Stoppppp

The entire episode is just me yelling “Sam!! No!!” He wanted Dean to take the shot on the pack leader even with innocent people in the way

Oh…so you can just shoot them normally, I guess?? It’s super anticlimactic when you can just shoot them normally, though Bobby usually has whatever the boys need to kill a monster, so it’s not like that’s typically a problem

Sam telling Dean the things he’s done since losing his soul, and then saying that even though things were harder when he had one, he wants to go back to being that guy. I won’t lie, if he’s not lying, I’m proud of him.

“Been On My Mind…”: Nope. 3.

“The End of Time Part 2”

Plot Description: The Doctor faces the end of his life as the Master’s plans hurtle out of control

I DON’T WANT HIM TO GOOOOO. I literally waited til the last minute I thought I could possibly get through this before midnight arrived. My decompression time after work needed to be a lot longer than normal

God…I kinda wish I knew more about Old Who. I know precious little about the Time Lords outside the Doctor and the Master (though obviously less about him).

Is it bad that Donna’s making me wanna dye my hair again? I’ve been really good at not because I might wanna go back to my natural color…but who knows??

HE CALLED HER HIS BEST FRIENDDDDDD 😭😭😭 like I know it but…to hear him say it

These moments between the Doctor and the Master…can you imagine having one person and one person only in the entire universe who could possibly understand everything you’ve gone through? And they do, and they HATE you, and you COULD love them if they’d only back down a LITTLE (aaaaaaaaand I’ve just described Touya and Shoto again. godDAMMIT)

THIS BODY WAS BORN OUT OF DEATH, ALL IT CAN DO IS DIE?!?!?!?!?!?! When will these writers from 2009/2010 stop hurting my feelings about 2022/2023 manga things????

Yeah, this rescue could be better

Wilf is so excited (if a little scared) to be in space. Bless him

I can’t tell if the camera just moved or if the ship actually fell a little…but it’s in SPACE WITH NO GRAVITY. It shouldn’t do that

Hilarious that “night has fallen” so all 6 billion or something people/Masters HAVE to start just listening as though there aren’t ones who are potentially still asleep from….like, does he have no idea about time zones? Bit of an oversight for a TIME lord, if you ask me

OKAY. Time out. There’s allowing whatever to happen in your sci-fi and then there’s allowing JUST ANYTHING to happen. The Time Lords threw a diamond from inside the time lock into a projected image of Earth from the end of time and it showed up on real Earth in 2009?? Come on…

Oh, sweetie, your condition just keeps getting worse

I still don’t trust this woman who talked to Wilf on the TV and has now found him on the alien ship

…the Master changed not just alive humans but corpses too? Skeletons?? What the absolute fuck

“We must look like insects to you” “I think you look like giants” 💔 The Doctor and Wilf have such a special and sweet relationship. It’s gonna rip my heart out when he’s the one who will knock four times

Oh wow. There’s a lot I forgot. Hearing Wilf tell the Doctor to not put the Master ahead of making sure that every human returns to being themselves

The terror on David’s face when he hears what the diamond is

(Ok I’ve got another Touya parallel to the Master, but I might have to wait and do an edit later because we are running out of time)

Of course the Doctor can just fix the ship, all parts of it…just like that in a couple minutes

I was gonna say “this is some Star Wars shit (neutral)” but that would actually be very appropriate for today.

Yeah, bestie, that’s what happens when you jump out of a space ship, through glass, onto a marble floor with no parachute

I AM SO FUCKING INTERESTED IN EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN THE TIME WAR

I sympathize with this seemingly impossible decision…but the decision to destroy the gate is so great

AND THEN THE MASTER SACRIFICING HIMSELF AND GETTING HIS REVENGE ON THE TIME LORDS WHO IMPLANTED THE DRUMS IN HIS HEAD

(I might not end in time for midnight…this is a longer episode than I thought, I’m pretty sure now)

The melodrama of the Doctor’s agony in the box with the radiation vs it just ending and he just…gets up

Oh…he’s doing his farewell tour, saving his companions and/or their family members

Man, now we’re even in a Star Wars-esque cantina…I swear I didn’t do this on purpose

Oh, the granddaughter of the woman from The family of blood

Well, midnight came and we’re at Donna’s wedding

Wilf blowing a very tiny kiss to the Doctor as he turns and leaves 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GODDDD I FORGOT HE VISITS ROSE IN 2005, TOO

“The universe will sing you to your sleep” can you IMAGINE???

My heart hurrrrrts watching this. I don’t wanna say good bye to Daviddddddd

Oh hi Matt! You strange giraffe of a man

[sortofaflynn]

She had absolutely no idea why, but Violet truly felt like she was going to die right then and there. She’d never struggled to breathe steadily more in her life, and it practically felt like she was vibrating whenever anyone touched her due to how much her body was shaking. It was a miracle she made it here without somebody else saying something. But knowing her, she probably pushed anyone who tried to ask if she was okay away. She trusted very few people with her emotions, and random passerby’s in the tower hallways were not amongst them.

“I.. um.. I think..” She finally started speaking, constantly interrupted by hiccups. A huge part of her didn’t want to say anything about what triggered this, but she knew she had to. There weren’t many believable things out there that could explain why someone so closed off like her was so obviously distressed aside from the truth. “I think I’m gonna get expelled, and I don’t want.. want them to ta..take me away.” The poor kid could barely get any words out without stuttering, and for good reason too. Another kid purposefully made something that could endanger the entire class during chemistry during school earlier in the day, and Violet just got word from a friend that the school was completely confident she taught him how to do it despite the fact that she didn’t. Of course they’d assume she was involved. She never bragged or anything, but she was almost definitely the smartest kid in that class and wasn’t exactly afraid to cause trouble at school. But she’d never take it that far. Chemistry wasn’t even really her thing. But whether she actually did it or not, if the school thought she did, they would tell her social worker. If DCFS thought this happened because Sam was negatively influencing her, nothing she said could prevent the aftermath of that. She’d be back in foster care, and she couldn’t stand the thought of it.

“I don’t really know if things like that c-can uhmm, make someone have a heart attack? But I kinda feel like I’m having one right now.” She said through tears, never having experienced something quite like this before. She was used to mood swings, going from a perfectly normal mood to an extremely negative one in a matter of minutes, but her heart racing and her body feeling like she barely had any control over it was never part of that in the past.

🚪(from violet, i’m gonna say she’s having a panic attack for the first time and thought she was dying)

/* 🚪 my muse shows up at yours’ door looking less than stellar */

Violet knocking on Ed's office door was... a surprise. Not that her showing up at his office was a surprise, she usually just... appeared in his office, usually without him noticing. The knocking was new.

She looked terrible. Pale, like she was about to faint.

"Violet?" he asked. "Come in, have a seat." He guided her into a his office, making sure she made it into the chair across from his desk before shutting his office door.

He didn't bother asking if she was alright, it was obvious she wasn't. What he didn't understand was why she went to him, instead of Sam, but that knowledge made him postpone calling her guardian until he had a better understanding of the situation.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked.

[lunar-years]

I think something I struggled with t*dbecca is that…throughout the entire show, ted still struggled with his love for michelle. a few times in s2 we saw ted refer to michelle as his wife still, and i don’t even think him worrying about her and Jacob was the most OOC thing (could’ve been better written, but alas) because he even mentioned to sharon that he called her his wife and she would’ve hated knowing that. For him to immediately move on from that and get into a relationship with someone else wouldnt have been a good arc for me, personally speaking. Even Rebecca says in season 2 she’s growing to love being alone and single

Okay very good point! I want to clarify that I haven’t actually thought at all about how they could’ve done t*dbecca in a way I wouldn’t have hated, lol. I truly have never cared about it enough to think it through in any great detail, I’m just also not saying it’s definitely not possible. 😂

I do think it probably makes more sense as a storyline on Rebecca’s end, namely because the most critical point of Ted’s arc (and the natural conclusion) was always going to be returning to Henry. I don’t know how they could have made that and t*dbecca happen, logistically, but they could have left it very open-ended in a “goodbye kiss and let’s see where that takes us” kind of way. As long as it didn’t compromise Ted going home to his son, I wouldn’t have minded whatever they did.

That said, I do see what you mean about Ted still struggling with the Michelle of it all. To me him worrying about the Jacob thing wasn’t OOC at all, though I did see a wild tweet today about how him “stalking Michelle and Jacob online” was this massive sign of regression akin to Rebecca’s headspace with Rupert in s1, lmao. Idk, I think it’s perfectly reasonable, when your ex wife who you’ve been together with since college starts dating your old MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, to go a little (or even a lot) nuts about it. That was realest ted could have possibly been in that situation, not ooc in the slightest (the bad writing was putting Michelle with the marriage counselor in the first place because. What the fuck even was that.)

However, with a few minor tweaks I think I still could’ve bought into t*dbecca if they’d done it in a *HSM voice* 🎶it’s the start of something new🎶 way where Ted realizes by the end of the show that he’s willing and ready to take that risk again for the right person (this is in a scenario where he sees Rebecca as the right person, which is obviously not where they took it and that’s just as okay, again I do not feel strongly or passionately about this At All lmao, nor do I care whether or not he gets back together with Michelle post-series, which I think it possible but not guaranteed by what we see onscreen)

As somewhat of an aside, even though they have Rebecca say that in s2, I do think finding romantic love and wanting a child(ren) were always much larger components of her storyline than anyone else’s, which is why I did really like that Matthijs returns at the end of the finale. Rebecca’s journey was about her coming into her own outside of a failed relationship and years of pain, slowly learning to love herself again (and find the joy in being single) and then amongst her other things (like finding fulfillment at Richmond), ultimately still wanting to find romantic love (something she arguably learns with Sam in s2 is both possible for her and something she deserves) and then it all (starts to) come to fruition in s3 with Matthijs. It matters very little to me who her person ended up being, but I’m glad she got to be happy in that way in the end. I thought they ended her arc well!

[lostinanothersmemories]

Familial Strangers

cw: mentions of feeling othered, a bit of emotional angst i dont think much else

With the soft waves crashing on the beach the group could laugh themselves to tears. Ash still throwing the beach ball despite David’s warnings the wind is gonna send it flying. Angel and Babe comparing sea shells, holding them up to firelight. Milo stoking the fire and when necessary smacking the ball away so it doesn’t get close to the flames. Sam and Darlin taking up an entire log bench with how the wolf lounges.

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“You act like I’m planning on finding a new apartment, my apartments fine. I like my apartment.”



Theres a pause before a brief laugh from the group, “Didn’t your neighbor throw a week long rager and cops literally wouldn’t come to stop it?” Asher points out, asking for an argument.



“Oh boo hoo you lose a bit of sleep.”



“Oh come on even me and David’s first apartment was better!”



Of course bringing him into bickering means he’ll side with neither, “That’s because I didn’t let you pick it.”



“Cold hearted man, I’ve got taste!”



“Says the one who wanted to paint his bedroom blue, the entire bedroom, in a rental.”



“Milo! I thought you’d be on my side!”



“And the one who thought our generation would live in a mansion all together.”



“Oh my god wait did we try to make a pack frat house?”



“You tried to make a pack frat house, I argued, Milo didn’t,” David points out.



“I ain’t going to be held accountable for what I said when I was ten, my memories barely go back that far I’m innocent.” Milo defends holding his hands up but distracted by Sweetheart stealing his stick to fix his fire.



“Ash was the one to suggest it anyways he’s at fault. You tried to get anyone to drive us around so we could househunt.”



“Right! I tried for weeks to convince them to let us bike around to find the best house.”



“Hey, wasn’t that when you biked into a wall and lost a tooth?” Milo peaks around to ask not listening to an answer. “Sweetheart no I swear to god the fire is fine!”



“Amanda found a wheelbarrow and we brought you to MIlo’s house cause you thought it was an adult tooth.” David explains, ever so slightly smiling at the memory.



“Shaw Pack Jr. my friends.” Milo jesters jabbing Ash with only a slightly charred fire stick.



Across the fire a weight sinks. Drops leaving a tsunami. No one notices. No one sees. Darlin sits up from where they had laid their head in Sam’s lap. They look to the waves, the sand, anywhere but the people around them.



It’s stupid of course, absolutely no reason for them to feel like this. Sure they popped up late but that doesn’t make them any less fami-pack. It doesn’t strip the fact they are apart of the pack. They don’t hear Sam at first, only notice when his hand cups their cheek. They see the question before his lips can even start forming syllables. “I’m fine. I’m gonna take a walk, need some air.”



They just hope only Sam can see, but they can tell it’s quieted, not completely. They try not to make it obvious.



Sam doesn’t hesitate to stand, slipping his fingers between theirs and leading them down the beach.



“I’m s-”



“Did I ever tell you I had to switch schools?” They shake their head at least glad they don’t have to explain yet. “I got into a fight sophomore year. Yes me, I got into a fight now set aside the shock for a moment. Someone was picking on someone and well, you know me. He got a concussion and a slap on the wrist for what he was doing. I got expelled. My parents supported me but I had to change schools. It was an hour away I think, but it was awful. Halfway through a school year everyone with friends. I found a group but, it was a group before me. There’s no way to get rid of that feeling, least far as I know. They’d talk about growing up together, or make plans on the weekend but it didn’t feel like I was apart of them, like I was just with them.”



“They don’t do it on purpose. They never did.” They immediately defend despite how obviously they just want to walk away again.

”Doesn’t matter the intent, point it they have memories together you don’t and it feels awful to remember that. It’s not selfish, it’s a shitty situation, don’t apologize. I can’t even begin to understand how that’s multiplied by the fact it’s your pack, by how big of a move it was for you. Washington ain’t far, but it’s far enough that you weren’t home anymore.”



“Thank you.” They glance back at the group, “I love them, and you. I’m just tired of being the other sometimes.”



“You aren’t an other to me, darlin’. You’re everything.” Despite the fond smile forcibly growing on their face tears still threaten to fall down their cheeks.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x11 thoughts

For an episode that ends with a journalist Ted trusts but has (understandably) recently lied to warning Ted that he’s publishing an article about his panic attacks, it was fitting that this episode seemed entirely about what all of these characters choose to tell each other. And after most of a season of television that Jason Sudeikis has described as the season in which the characters go into their little caves to deal with things on their own, it turns out they are finally able to tell each other quite a lot.

Which is good because, um, wow, a lot is going to happen in the season finale of this show!

Thoughts on the things people tell each other behind the cut!

Roy and Keeley. I absolutely loved the moment during their photoshoot in which they bring up a lot of complicated emotional things and are clearly gutted (“gutted”? Who am I? A GBBO contestant who forgot to turn the oven on?) by what they’ve heard. We already know that Keeley and Roy are great at the kinds of moments they have before the shoot begins, in which Roy builds Keeley up and tells her she’s fucking amazing. From nearly the beginning of their relationship, they’ve supported each other and been each other’s biggest fans. But their relationship has gone on long enough that they’ve progressed from tentative arguments about space and individual needs into really needing to figure out what they mean to each other and how big their feelings are and what that means in relation to everything else. Watching these two confess about the uncomfortable kiss with Nate, the unexpectedly long conversation with Phoebe’s teacher, and—most painfully—the revelation that Jamie still loves Keeley didn’t feel like watching two people who are about to break up. (Although I could see them potentially needing space from each other to get clarity.) It felt like watching two people realize just how much they’d lose if they lost each other, which is an understandably scary feeling even—or especially—when you’re deeply in love but not entirely sure what the future holds. Not entirely sure what you’re capable of when you’ve never felt serious about someone in quite this way, and are realizing you have to take intentional actions to choose that relationship every single day. I’m excited to learn whether Roy and Keeley decide they need to solidify their relationship more (not necessarily an engagement, but maybe moving in together or making sure they’re both comfortable referring to the other as partner and telling people they’re in a committed relationship) or if things go in a different direction for a while.

Sharon and Ted. I’ve had this feeling of “Wow, Ted is going to feel so intense about how honest he’s been with Sharon and is going to end up getting really attached and transfer a lot of emotions onto the connection they have and that is stressful no matter how beneficial it has been for him to finally get therapy!” for a while now. And Sharon’s departure really brought that out and it was indeed stressful. But the amount of growth that’s happened for both of these characters is really stunningly and beautifully conveyed in this episode. Ted is genuinely angry she left without saying goodbye, and he doesn’t bury it some place deep inside him where it will fester for the next thirty years. He expresses his anger. (I also noticed he sweared—mildly—in front of her again, which is really a big tell for how much he has let his carefully-constructed persona relax around her.) He reads her letter even though he said he wasn’t going to, and he’s moved. I don’t think Ted has the words for his connection to Sharon beyond “we had a breakthrough,” but Sharon gets it, and is able to firmly assert a professional boundary by articulating her side of that breakthrough as an experience that has made her a better therapist. And is still able to offer Ted a different kind of closure by suggesting they go out before her train leaves. No matter how you feel about a patient/football manager seeing their therapist/team psychologist colleague socially, I appreciated this story because IMO it didn’t cross big lines but instead was about one final moment in this arc in which both Ted and Sharon saw each other clearly and modeled what it is to give someone what they need and to expect honesty and communication from them. I liked that Ted ends up being the one saying goodbye. (The mustache in the exclamation points!) I like that whether or not Sharon returns in any capacity (Sarah Niles is so wonderful that I hope she does, but I’m not sure), the goodbye these characters forge for themselves here is neither abandonment nor a new, more complicated invitation. It’s the end of a meaningful era, and although the work of healing is the work of a lifetime, it’s very beautiful to have this milestone.

Ted and Rebecca. So, maybe it’s just me, but it kinda feels like these two have a few li’l life things to catch up on?! (HAHHHHHaSdafgsdasdf!) I really adored their interactions in this episode. I maintain that Biscuits With The Boss has been happening this whole time (even when Ted’s apartment was in shambles, there’s biscuit evidence, and I feel like we’ve been seeing the biscuit boxes in Rebecca’s office pretty regularly too), even if it might have been more of a drive-by biscuit drop-off/feelings avoidance ritual. It was really lovely to see Ted on more even footing in Rebecca’s office, joking around until she tells him to shut up, just like the old days. And GOSH—for their 1x9 interaction in Ted’s office to be paralleled in this episode and for Ted to explicitly make note of the parallel in a way Rebecca hears and sees and understands?! MY HEART. In both of Rebecca’s confessions, she is not bringing good news but it is good and meaningful that she chooses to share with Ted. In both situations, Ted takes the moment in stride and offers acceptance equivalent to the gravity of what she has to confess. And in both situations, he’s not some kind of otherworldly saint, able to accept Rebecca no matter what because he’s unaffected by what she shares. He is affected. When he tells her about Sam, you can see a variety of emotions on his face. Rebecca is upset and Ted is calm, and even if I might have liked for him to try to talk about the risk the affair poses to the power dynamics on the team or any number of factors, I also really liked that he just accepts where she is, and—most importantly—does not offer her advice beyond examining herself and taking her own advice. A massive part of being in a relationship with another person (a close relationship of any nature) is figuring out how to support that person without necessarily having to be happy about every single thing they do. It’s so important that Ted connects what she’s just told him about Sam back to what she told him last season about her plot with the club. These both feel like truth bombs to him, and he is at least safe enough to make that clear. These are both things that impact him, things that shape how he sees her and maybe even how he sees himself. He cares about her and is capable of taking in this information; he has room for it. But it’s not something he takes lightly, and neither does she. See you next year.

Tumblr user chainofclovers and the TV show Ted Lasso. My brain is going wild thinking about all the ways the next “truth bomb” conversation could go in 3x11 or whatever. Maybe they go full consistent parallel and Rebecca confesses something else, this time about her and Ted or some other big future thing that impacts him as much or more as the other confessions have. (The same but different.) Maybe the tables turn and Ted has something to confess to her. While the 1x9 conversation ended in an embrace and the 2x11 conversation ended with a bit more physical distance (understandable given the current state of their relationship and the nature of the discussion), the verbal ending of both conversations involved voices moving into a sexier lower register while zooming in to talk specifically about their connection to each other, so I have to assume there will be some consistencies in s3 even if the circumstances will be completely different. I don’t really know where I’m going with this and I obviously will go insane if I sustain this level of anticipatory energy until Fall 2022 but I have a feeling my brain and heart are going to try!

Sam and Rebecca. I know there’s been a lot of criticism about whether this show is being at all realistic about the power dynamics and inevitable professional issues this relationship would create. On some level, I agree; I like that pretty much everyone who knows about the affair has been kind so far, but you can be kind and still ask someone to contend with reality. But I also think that in nearly every plot point on this show, the narrative is driven by how people feel about their circumstances first and foremost. (It’s why the whiteboard in the coaching office and the football commentators tell us more about how the actual football season is going from a points perspective than anyone else.) This episode reminded me how few people know about Sam and Rebecca, and how much their time together so far has been time spent in bed. The private sphere. I thought this episode really expertly brought the public sphere into it, not—thank goodness—through a humiliating exposure or harsh judgment but through an opportunity for Sam that illustrates not only all his potential to do great things but how much Rebecca’s professional position and personal feelings are in conflict with that. Could stand in the way of that. I don’t have a strong gut feeling about where this will go, but I do think Sam’s face in his final scene of this episode is telling. He started the episode wanting to see Rebecca (his most recent text to her was about wanting to connect), and Edwin’s arrival from Ghana really exploded his sense of what is possible for his life. If he’d arrived home to Rebecca sitting on his stoop prior to meeting Edwin, he’d have been delighted. Now he’s conflicted, and whatever decision he makes, he has to reckon with the reality that he cannot have everything he wants. No matter what. And Rebecca—she has taken Ted’s advice and is attempting to be honest about the fact that she can’t control Sam’s decisions but hopes he doesn’t go, and even saying that much feels so inappropriate. And I’m not sure how much she realizes about the inappropriateness of the position she’s putting him in, although maybe she’s getting there considering she exits the scene very quickly. I’ve honestly loved Rebecca’s arc this season. I think it’s realistic that she got obsessed with the intimacy she thought she could find in her phone. I think it’s realistic that her professional and personal ambitions are inappropriately linked. (They certainly were for Rupert. It’s been years since she’s known anything different; even if she’s done some significant recovery work to move on from her abusive marriage and figure out her own priorities, she’s got a long way to go.) I know there are people who will read this interaction between Rebecca and Sam as a totally un-self-aware thing on the part of “the show” or “the writers” but what I saw is two people who enjoyed being in bed together and now have to deal with the reality that they’re in two different places in their lives and that one has great professional power over the other. If that wasn’t in the show, I wouldn’t be able to see it or feel so strongly about it.

Edwin and Sam. I really enjoyed all the complexities of this interaction. Edwin is promising a future for Sam that doesn’t quite exist yet, though he has the financial means to make it happen. He offers this by constructing for Sam a Nigerian—and Ghanaian—experience unlike anything he’s found in London. Sam is amazed that this experience is here, and Edwin’s response is to explain to him that the experience is not here. Not really. The experience in Africa. Sam has of course connected to the other Nigerian players on the team, but this is something else entirely. I’m really curious if Sam is going to end up feeling that what Edwin has to offer is real or not. That sense of home and connection? So real. And so right that he would want to experience that homecoming and would want to be part of building that experience for others. But at the end of the day, he went to a museum full of actors and a pop-up restaurant full of “friends,” and is that constructed authenticity as a stand-in for a real homecoming more or less real than the home he’s building in Richmond? (With other players who stand in solidarity with him, and with well-meaning white coaches who say dumb stuff sometimes, and an a probably-doomed love interest, and a feeling that he should put chicken instead of goat in the jollof, and the ability to stand out as an incredible player on a rising team.)

Nate and everyone. But also Nate and no one. Nate’s story is so painful and I’m so anxious for next week’s episode. For a long time I’ve felt that a lot of Nate’s loyalties are with Richmond, and a lot of his ambitions are around having given so much to this place without getting a lot back, and having a strong feeling that he’s the answer to Richmond’s future. But now I’m not so sure; his ambitions have transferred into asking everyone he knows (except Ted, of course), if they want to be “the boss.” But Nate is all tactics and no communication. When he wants to suggest a new play to Ted, he hasn’t yet learned to read Ted’s language to learn that Ted is eager to hear what he has to say. And while Ted has been really unfortunately distracted about Nate and dismissive of him this season, he clearly respects Nate’s approach to football and was appreciative of the play. Nate just can’t hear that. The suit is such a great metaphor of all the things Nate is in too much pain to be able to hear clearly. Everyone digs at him for wearing the suit Ted bought him (including Will, who’s got to get little cuts in where he can, because he’s got to be sick of the way Nate treats him), but when he gets fed up his solution isn’t to go out on his own and find more clothes he likes; he asks Keeley to help him. And then crosses a major line with her...and no matter how kind she was about it, she was clearly not okay. Everything is going to blow up, and I’m so curious as to whether Nate will end up aligning himself with Rupert in some way or if he’s going to end up screwed over by Rupert and in turn try to screw over his colleagues even worse than he’s already done. Or try desperately to make amends even though it could be too late for some. Either way, I’m fully prepared to feel devastated. (And there’s no way I’m giving up on this character. If he’s able to learn, I truly believe he could end up seeking forgiveness and forging a happier existence for himself. Someday. Like in season 3 or something.)

Ted and Trent. Trent deciding to reveal his source to Ted is a huge deal, and I’m torn between so many emotions about this exposé. I’m glad it’s a Trent Crimm piece and not an Ernie Loundes piece. I’m glad that Trent made the decision to warn Ted and let him know that Nate is his source. I fear—but also hope—that this exposure will set off a chain reaction of Ted learning about some of the things he’s missed while suffering through a really bad bout with his dad-grief and panic disorder. The things Ted doesn’t know would devastate him. I wonder if Ted will want to figure out a way to make Nate feel heard and reconcile with him, and I wonder how that will be complicated if/when he realizes Nate has severely bullied Will, gets more details on how he mistreated Colin, etc. I wonder if Rebecca, whom Nate called a “shrew” right before she announced his promotion, will be in the position of having to ask Ted to fire him, or overriding Ted and doing it herself. So many questions! I have a feeling it’ll go in some wild yet very human-scaled, emotionally-nuanced direction, and I’ll be like “Oh my GOD!” but also like “Oh, of course.”

This VERY SERIOUS AND EMOTIONAL REVIEW has a major flaw, which is that none of the above conversations include mention of the absolute love letter to N*SYNC. Ted passionately explains how things should go while dancing ridiculously! Will turns on the music and starts gyrating! Roy nods supportively! Beard shouts the choreography like the Broadway choreographer of teaching grown men who play football how to dance like a boy band. Everyone is so incredibly proud when they nail it. I love them.

I cannot believe next week is the end. For now. I’m kind of looking forward to letting everything settle during the hiatus, but I’ve really loved the ride.

[stratiotis-nth]

The few times Cas spoke about his true form, Dean had always imagined some terrifying robed creature with a bazillion heads and rotating rings and fifty giant wings from different animals. He imagined mighty beings that embodied the idea of God’s warriors. Cas once said his true form was size of the Chrysler building, and Dean had had to hide just how impressive the angel was despite looking and acting like a total dork. Cas as Cas was intimidating enough, but Castiel—the Chrysler-sized warrior of divinity—sounded terrifying and majestic all at the same time.

But apparently, Cas had omitted a few details. He had neglected to tell Dean that little bits of his true form lingered with him while he was in human form, some additions that couldn’t be seen but existed with him in another plane of reality.

So imagine Dean’s shock when he’s on a case and accidentally uses the holy fire glasses in his insurance company disguise. He didn’t even realize the difference until Cas joined him and Sam to help.

They were dealing with a Shifter who had been killing old people in a wealthy neighborhood in upstate New York. Cas, a fully functioning angel again, had offered to help when Sam and Dean realized they were up against a Shifter duo instead of a loner.

Sam was out getting grub when Cas appeared in the motel room with a whoosh of wings. Dean knew how much Cas had missed flying, and even he had missed hearing him announce his presence with that characteristic whoosh.

“Hey Cas.” Dean greeted without looking up from the laptop.

“Hello, Dean.” Was the usual response. He flicked his gaze up to Cas briefly, peering over the rim of the glasses he hadn’t bothered taking off. Dean did a double take when he caught a flash of black within the glasses’ lens. Frowning, he pushed the frames up his nose until he could squint through them properly. A sharp intake of breath caught in his throat.

“Dean?”

Cas’ voice floated through his mind but he couldn’t process it. He stared at the Castiel revealed through the lens, abso-fucking-lutely floored.

A pair of black wings, ones Dean had only ever seen the shadow or scorched remains of before, were folded neatly against Cas’ back. As the afternoon sunlight hit the feathers, Dean could see them shimmering and reflecting all the colors of the rainbow subtly. The feathers looked spun of night sky and stardust, light as clouds but dense and powerful was cooling lava. Dean had a really, really strong urge to run his fingers through them. They looked like they’d make his fingers tingle with lightning.

Alongside the wings, the other newly revealed part of Cas was his halo. He had never mentioned one before, so Dean had just assumed halos were just another one of those things crazy Christians made up. But apparently, angels did had halos, because there was a thin ring of glowing light surrounding Cas’ head like a circlet, hovering above his ears and just a few inches away from his hair and forehead. It gleamed an ethereal pale gold, almost white, light. As he looked at it closer, he noticed a few gaps in the ring, like jagged cracks where pieces had fallen away. Were they supposed to be like that?

Dean was so shocked that he wondered how the hell he was even seeing these parts of Cas now. It took him a moment for his sluggish brain to piece together that he must had accidentally taken the holy fire glasses instead of another fake pair.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

He blinked, still taking in the halo and wings, and cleared his throat. Cas was frowning at him in concern, his head tilted adorably to the side. The halo drifted and followed a half second behind his movement.

“Uh—“ a strangled noise escapes Dean’s throat. His fingers itched to dig themselves into those feathers, to trace that halo and try to feel the warmth of light. He swallowed thickly, his throat clicking. The words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“Are there supposed to be cracks in that thing?”

Cas blinked at him, thoroughly confused. A split second later, his face both flushed and paled at the same time. Dean worried the sudden blood flow would make him pass out, but then he remembered Cas was an angel.

“Those glasses have been burned in holy fire, haven’t they?” He asked, his wings tucking more firmly against his back like he was trying to hide them.

“Uh, uh yeah.” He stammered, wondering if he should say something to ease Cas’ obvious insecurity. “Grabbed ‘em by accident.”

Cas shuffled his feet awkwardly, the light of his halo dimming shyly. He obviously wasn’t going to offer any information unless Dean pressed a little more.

“So?” He managed to sound somewhat casual, even though his heart was beating loudly in his ears. “What’s with the missing pieces?”

“Ah.” Cas rumbled in his low voice. He avoided Dean’s eyes, his chipped halo floating after every movement of his head. “Well, to angels, the halo represents purity and devotion to God. It is the manifestation of each angel’s divinity. When Lucifer rebelled against Heaven, his halo was shattered as a sign of disgrace and he was banished to Hell. Other angels like Gabriel and Anna had a chip broken off because they rejected Heaven and their loyalties were to their own well-being. Angels cannot exist fully if their halos are damaged, but because Gabriel was an archangel and Anna became human, they were exceptions.”

Dean frowned. But Cas had way more than one piece missing and he was still alive and still an angel.

“So how come you’re still around?” He asked, waving a hand at Cas’ cracked halo.

“Because I was created already broken.” The words, delivered in a flat, emotionless tone, still cut through Dean’s heart. That wasn’t true. Cas wasn’t broken. He was just Cas. Perfectly fine the way he was. “As you have heard from many angels and Chuck himself, I came off the line with a crack in my chassis. I was created to be flawed.”

“Cas…” Dean began, trying to find the words to tell him that it wasn’t true, that everything Naomi and Chuck had told him was a lie.

“It’s alright, Dean.” Cas said gently, glancing at him for the first time since the conversation started. “When Jack restored me to my full power I asked to keep the cracks I bear. Not as an punishment.” he added, somehow interpreting the frown flashing across Dean’s face. “but as proof that angels can exist with their flaws and still do good things. That they can still protect humanity, as was their reason for existence.”

Well, when he put it that way, Dean really couldn’t protest. It was very Cas-like of him to not give a single fuck about being perfect and defying everything anyone has ever known by doing it his way.

“But I am sorry.”

That made Dean snap his head up sharply, looking at Cas in surprise.

“For what?” He asked incredulously.

“For forcing you to see me like this.” Cas’ wings spread out momentarily before being tucked tightly against his back again, hiding their magnificence from Dean. He hated that. He hated that Cas thought Dean wouldn’t want to see him like this, one step closer to his true form, to the real Castiel. “I understand it was undoubtedly shocking and unsettling, but if I could hide these parts of myself from those glasses, I would for your sake.”

“No.” Dean snapped vehemently, jumping to his feet and jabbing a finger at Cas. He hated that Cas believed the things he was saying. How could he not be awestruck by him, by his beautiful wings and perfectly flawed halo? “Shut the fuck up, Cas.”

Cas’ face fell even further than before, the corners of his mouth ticking down and his eyes falling downcast. He looked so…rejected. It cut right through Dean’s heart again, and he scrambled to fix it before they fell victim to miscommunication again.

“Cas.” Dean said firmly, ducking down to catch his gaze. Like a moth to light, that piercing blue gaze fixed on green and followed them up. “I ain’t unsettled. Shocked, but in a really good way.”

Cas looked frowned, confused. Dean plowed on.

“Dude, don’t be ashamed of who you are. Your wings and halo…they look awesome, man. Seriously. You look badass.”

Cas’ lips parted in shock. Dean nervously fidgeted with a pen he had forgotten was in his hands, tapping it against his palm as he struggled to find the right words.

“You ain’t broken or flawed—you’re just Cas. My—“

Best friend didn’t cut it anymore. They had gone through too much together to be best friends. Brothers didn’t sit right either. Dean didn’t feel the same things for Cas as he did Sam (it made him shudder in disgust just thinking about his little brother like that). Dean knew what it was like to lose Cas and Sam—Sam, he had lost his family, his blood. Cas, Dean had lost a part of his soul.

“—you’re my—“

Dean wanted—needed—to say the words. But nothing fit, nothing felt right. No word could describe just what Cas was to him.

“—you’re my angel, Cas. And I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

Cas just stared at him with another one of those soul searching gazes. Even when he was human, Dean felt he could still see straight through him, searching for deception or lies and every time never finding one.

There was a small, awed smile on Cas’ face, and before Dean could register what was happening, Cas gently cupped the back of his neck and pulled Dean down. Soft, chapped lips pressed briefly against his forehead, warm and sweet and grateful. They were gone a moment later, and so was Cas’ hand.

“Thank you, Dean.” He said softly after a while. “I appreciate it.”

Dean blinked and nodded stiffly. His entire body was shaking, aching to feel that warmth again. “Don’t…yeah, don’t mention it, Cas. I just…you gotta know the truth.”

Cas’ wings were fluffed up a bit, and they twitched against his back like they were itching to spread out. His halo was glowing much brighter than before, matching his smile.

“I have always been honored to be by your side, Dean, but it is nice to hear that you consider me yours.”

There was a lump in his throat that muted his voice. He nodded, shivering when he felt the cool, electrified tingling brush of a feather run down his arm and the warmth of light as Cas’ halo grew brighter.

“Always have. Cas.” He murmured, staring down at the pen clutched between his trembling fingers. He could feel Cas’ smile grow, and the primary feather of his wings brushed against his arm with a little more intent.

“As have I.” His response was so quiet that Dean almost didn’t hear it. But a shiver ran down his spine nonetheless. There was something different in the air, now that there were these confessions in the open. It wasn’t quite like a straightforward declaration that Dean was Cas’ and Cas was Dean’s, but it was pretty damn close. It was just a soft, gentle confirmation of how they had felt about each other since Cas pulled Dean from Hell all those years ago.

The quiet, peaceful moment between them was effectively shattered when they both heard the motel door open and Sam come barging through. They both jumped apart. They might have confessed…something between them…but that didn’t mean they were at all comfortable letting Sam see them in such an intimate moment.

“Uhhh…” Sam came to an abrupt halt as he took in Dean and Cas all but throwing themselves in opposite directions. “did I…?”

“No.” both Dean and Cas said quickly. They faltered and fell silent. Sam glanced between them hesitantly, like they were a bomb about to go off. Dean peeked over at Cas, noticing how his wings were fluffed up almost twice their size, his cheeks burning when he noticed Dean had noticed.

“Riiiight.” Sam said. “Well…there’s uh…been another body. I was gonna grab you and go…?”

“Yeah.” Dean said immediately, straightening up. “Let’s go.”

Cas looked like he wanted to protest—or force Sam to leave so they could deal with twelve years of tension—but Dean pointedly sent a prayer his way.

Tonight. Promise.

Cas’ wings fluffed up even more, his halo’s light shone so brightly it poked Dean’s eyes, and his face was redder than a tomato.

Dean grinned before grabbing his keys.

“See ya at the crime scene, angel.” He said before ducking out of the motel room.

“Is Cas okay?” Sam asked when they were in Baby.

“Oh yeah.” Dean grinned smugly, already looking forward to tonight. “He’s definitely okay.”

He’s got a chipped halo and beautiful wings that had once been burned to bone.

He’s Dean’s angel. He’s perfect.