#like not to be challengers posting a year later but. KILLS MYSELF

[feketeribizli]

biting the airrr

[chaggie4ever]

Ok I need to get this off my chest: people need to stop hating on my girl for her final performance against Lute. Vaggie has been out of practice for 3.5 YEARS (42 months), during which she lost her depth perception and wings and hid her identity, which definitely limited her ability to train (not even accounting for the psychological torment and phantom pains). Meanwhile Lute has been living her best life in heaven, likely training every day to keep her position and fully intact.

She has one month to prepare and learn some basic self defense. Now mind you, training montages are hilarious because after the first week if you’re doing it right you probably can barely move out of soreness XD (the ONLY accurate portrayal I’ve seen was on Galavant, which everyone should watch - it’s a medieval musical with a similar tone to HH). I’ll cover more on her and Carmilla separately.

Then Lute proceeds to watch the entire final battle while Vaggie is busy killing at least four angels by my count. When they fly up to Adam and Lute, she immediately sucker stabs Dazzle, dropping them hundreds of feet and disarming Vaggie in the process.

Despite all of this, Vaggie is able to stop a full force sword charge directly at her eye bare handed. She deflects several more vicious blows, using tools in her environment to help (shard of glass, radio). Yes she is losing. She is unarmed and see above… also unused to fighting with long hair even pulled up XD (as an aside, I absolutely LOVE how Carmilla pulls her hair down the moment Vaggie complains when training lol).

She gets a few more face cuts while we watch Charlie stab Adam, and ends up on the ground reaching for her weapon, which Lute uses to stab her hand before stupidly leaving it while gloating. Yes, Lute could (and should) have ended her here. I have a few separate theories on why that did not happen (later post). But regardless of the reasoning, Lute’s hubris left Vaggie alive enough to goad her second wind by mentioning Charlie. And Vaggie was SMARTER (and ultimately more spirited).

Now the tables have turned but Vaggie spared Lute, more out of spite than kindness but ultimately because of Charlie. Lute only has her left arm pinned; she should have stopped the spear but basically asked for death. This is also deserving of it’s own analysis but I think all angels hate themselves :(

Vaggie leaves and when she no longer has her undivided attention, Lute is irate enough to rip off her arm and pin her. Vaggie isn’t fighting at this point, she’s trying to get to Charlie but was sucker punched/tackled. Pretty understandable imho… interesting theories that Lute may have ironically saved Vaggie’s life here. I love her but she’s not stronger than Adam :( I’ll keep these Yuri headcannons to myself for now XD

Ironically, I think this may end very badly for Vaggie and Chaggie (if Lute kills anyone I will kill everyone and then myself), especially after Adam’s death. We haven’t even seen Vaggie cry but Lute now has. The same girl who just pulled her own arm off in sheer rage (seriously what’s up with her brute strength XD).

But ultimately, while I don’t feel comfortable saying Vaggie properly won this fight, she did a damn good job with what she had available and people need to stop hating on this character! Lute definitely did not win. And I’m REALLY hoping for a proper rematch because given Lute’s HATRED, she clearly feels at least challenged by Vaggie, one of Adam’s “best girls” who likely had at least Lute’s 275 kills annually… AND/OR she was dumped right before Vaggie’s last extermination and all the yuri 😍🥰😘😇🤣

[captainsophiestark]

The Richmond Vampire

Damon Salvatore x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: TVD/TO

Summary: Damon's come to retrieve his SO for involvement in some Mystic Falls drama, but unfortunately for him, they're not willing to miss their favorite class at Whitmore, which just so happens to be covering vampires.

Word Count: 1,699

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Hey! Babe!"

I stopped short of the door to my lecture hall, letting my classmates go ahead at the sound of my boyfriend's voice from behind me. I turned to find none other than Damon Salvatore heading towards me, weaving through the undergrads with incredible impatience.

"Hey yourself!" I called out to him with a smile. "What are you doing here?"

Damon huffed at the last college student in his way as they wandered past, before turning his attention to me.

"I need your help. We've got... business we need to take care of."

The smile immediately dropped off my face. I'd been dating Damon long enough to know that 'business' was code for some supernatural problem that had somehow managed to follow us out of Mystic Falls. I shook my head.

"No. No way, Day. I have class."

"Oh, come on," he said, rolling his eyes a little before taking a step closer to me, into my space. One of his hands came up to play with the ends of my hair. "Don't tell me I'm gonna have to convince you to cut class with me."

He lowered his voice, teasing and flirting at the same time, but I just put a hand on his chest to stop him moving any further.

"You know I love you, and if it was you in trouble, I'd drop everything to help you in a second. But I'm not missing my favorite class, especially not the lecture I've been waiting for this whole semester, just to involve myself in the latest Scooby Gang drama. Whatever it is, it can wait, like, two hours."

Damon opened his mouth to continue making his case, but I just gave him a smile and a wink, then pulled out of his grasp. I slipped through the door of the classroom before he could stop me and headed for a seat near the front. When I sat down, I wasn't surprised to see Damon following right behind me, settling a moment later in the seat next to mine. I turned to him with a grin.

"Last chance to leave before class starts. I can call you when it's over."

He turned to me with a fake smile I knew well.

"Nope. If you won't leave, I might as well stay here with you. Then we can leave even faster once it's over."

My smile only widened. "Alright. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Damon raised an eyebrow at me, but I was able to avoid answering him as our instructor began class, drawing my attention back to the front. Still, Damon didn't have to wait long to see what I was talking about.

"Alright, everybody, it's time for our much-awaited, headlining lecture for myths and folklore. Today... we're talking about vampires."

Damon didn't even bother to hide a snort, but I just grinned. Despite dating a real vampire, their place in mythology, folklore, and other storytelling had never lost its appeal for me. I loved reading and studying about them in all forms, and I'd taken this class largely for this part of the course. Having a real life vampire sitting next to me for the whole thing could only enhance the experience, as far as I was concerned.

"Everyone's heard a vampire story at least once in their life," the professor continued at the front of the class. "Whether it was Dracula, Anne Rice, or just second-hand knowledge of Twilight, as creatures, they're ingrained in our cultural conscious.

"However, not all vampires are the same. Stakes, crosses, cutting off the heads, garlic. Even whether or not sunlight will kill them, although sparkling is a bit of an outlier. Each myth of the vampire, or a vamprie-adjacent creature, has a slightly different description of exactly what makes a vampire. We even have our own local variety, with the myth of the Richmond Vampire existing for just over a hundred years now."

I leaned over to Damon, getting close enough to whisper in his ear.

"How many of these myths do you think you're responsible for?" I asked.

"All of them," he deadpanned, without even glancing over at me. "Except Edward."

Now it was my turn to snort. Luckily, my professor didn't notice.

"Today begins the unit of our class where we look at the permiation of the folklore not just of vampires, but of all the undead creatures that stalk the night. Is it simply a fascination with death that has led to most cultures telling a tale about some kind of undead creature, or is there something more? Something beyond the legends?"

"What do you think she'd do if you turned in a paper theorizing the vampire myths were mostly created and spread by this group of really old assholes we know?"

"Shh."

"Oh, so you're allowed to make little comments to me but I'm not allowed to make them to you?"

"Yes. That way I can make sure I don't miss anything I want to hear."

I didn't need to look at Damon to know he was rolling his eyes.

My professor continued her lecture, digging in a little on some specific examples of the vampire myth. I took dutiful notes, mostly blocking out the comments from my boyfriend, and eventually he settled for just doodling his own, much more sarcastic notes in the margins of mine. I smiled as he drew a particularly cartoonish fanged vampire. That'd make studying a little more fun in a couple weeks.

Damon managed to sit through the whole hour and a half class with me, all in all with much more patience than I'd been expecting. I should've known he was just waiting for his moment.

After class was dismissed, I quickly packed up, ready to head off with Damon to handle whatever ridiculous drama he'd wanted me to get involved with in the first place. When I stood with my bag, however, I found him heading for my professor at the front of the room. I frowned.

I walked quickly to catch up to Damon, hearing the tail end of his sentence as he shook my professor's hand.

"...incredibly interesting lecture to get to sit in on," Damon said, his voice dripping with charm and a fake smile plastered on his face. "Really, it was outstanding. The vampire myth is just so interesting."

I barely managed to stop myself from laughing out loud. For anyone who didn't know Damon, they'd likely be swayed by his apparently genuine interest, rapt attention, and dazzling smile. I'd seen him flip the switch to manipulative people-person enough that it didn't convince me anymore, although my teacher sure seemed to be falling for it.

"I'm glad you agree. It really is a most fascinating topic. You'd be welcome to sit in on future lectures, if you'd like."

"Thank you! I just might have to take you up on that. You know, I had a friend once who swore she saw a vampire in some small town bar around here."

My professor laughed. "I've heard of small town Bigfoot and Mothman sightings, but small town vampire sightings might be a new one."

"Right? I mean, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but it's a little unbelievable to think a vamprie could be standing right in front of you, isn't it?"

I stepped up to Damon's side and discreetly elbowed him as my professor laughed. He just grinned at me in response.

"Well, it was almost as much of a pleasure talking to you as it was listening to your lecture," Damon said, holding out his hand again for a fairwell shake. My professor took it, and I caught the glint in Damon's eye as he shot the man a wolfish smile. "Take care. Don't let the vampires get you."

He chuckled again, giving both of us a smile as Damon finally dropped his hand.

"I promise, I won't."

Damon hummed and smirked while I fought through the most forced smile of my life as I hustled Damon out of the room, just barely managing to maintain a casual facade. The minute we cleared the classroom door, I turned to my boyfriend with a scowl.

"You laid that on a little thick," I said. Damon just scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one who insisted on sitting through that class. I just decided to engage with the lecturer and the content a little more."

I snorted. "Yeah, sure. I take it you enjoyed yourself then?"

Damon grinned. "Very much."

"Should I be changing your name in my contacts to 'The Richmond Vampire'?"

Damon smirked. "That wasn't very subtle."

"Neither was a single word you said to my professor."

He huffed a laugh. "True. Then sure, if you really want to. Just don't ask me to help you test which vampire myths are true and which aren't. You already know real vampires burn in the sun."

"I promise not to use you as a vampire lab rat as long as you promise not to take a bite out of my folklore professor."

"Hmm..."

"Damon."

"Fine. I promise not to bite your folklore professor. At least not this semester."

I rolled my eyes, but decided to let that one pass without comment, at least for now. Damon gave me his real smile as he took my hand, and I sighed as I leaned into him, the two of us heading for the doors to the building together.

"So am I going to be hearing about your vampire mythology theories for the next few weeks?" he mused as we walked. I hummed.

"Probably, yeah. It's part of being there for each other, right? I get involved in your little brother's teen drama, you listen to me talk about vampires like they're not real, and like the Mikaelsons had nothing to do with the global spread of the myth."

"Sounds like a match made in heaven."

"I'll say."

Damon and I shared a smile, and as we reached the doors, he paused long enough to pull me to him for a long kiss. I smiled into it as one of his hands tangled in my hair. Damon could be absolutely ridiculous sometimes, but so could I. At the end of the day, we made a pretty damn good couple as a result of it.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

TVD/TO Taglist: @elenavampire21

[minerva-net]

four times

chris sturniolo smut

warning: corruption kink (not too obvious?)

summary: four times you misinterpreted chris's statement that he's never had his first kiss, and the time you change that.

the first time it's brought up, it's long forgotten.

"When we meet next month, you can give me my first kiss, too." Chris mumbles into his pillow. He has one eye looking at me through the camera. It's funny.

Three weeks before seeing each other, we can't seem to stay off the phone when going to sleep. We're both laying down together on the phone. It's a normal occurrence at this point. Calling has become a normality between us unless I have to be at work, he's filming, or a device dies.

"Yeah?" I ask.

He nods his head. Laughing a little bit to myself I decide to mess with him.

"What makes you think I'd kiss you?" I tease.

"Because I'm your handsome and hilarious boyfriend you cannot resist." He protests.

"I guess we'll see..." I sigh. My voice growing quiet as I close my eyes. I feel my whole body feel heavy as sleep weighs down on me. I can only hope it joins Chris as well as he has a long day of filming ahead of him.

the second time it goes over your head.

As I'm trying to maneuver around Mount Olympus to kill someone, I'm quickly shot from behind from another player. I throw my hands in defeat stopping myself from yelling into the headset.

We're two weeks from seeing each other, and have been doing all that we can do together online. We're both playing fortnite, it's been a long night of one or the other being carried to victory.

"I died again Chris..." I sighed. For some reason I'm not on my game, maybe it's the tiredness from playing so late, or I'm just losing my skill.

"Don't worry princess I got this." Chris says.

As I spectate him he easily gets my killer and the player I was going after originally. He takes time to go through the last person's loot before being shot at himself. He's able to use his fists to run and hide to heal himself. As he wanders around the area he finds who was trying to attack him, and downs them with ease.

There's something about him being good at fortnite that makes my heart flutter alongside the pet name.

"Don't mess with the big dog!" Chris yells into his mic before making howling noises, grunts, and barking.

I could only smile.

"You're an animal, so aggressive." I comment.

I feel a question bubble inside me. "Are you going to act like this when we see each other? Manhandle me to do what you want with me? Throw me around? Show me how to obey you?" I ask.

Chris is silent, maybe I said something wrong? I give myself some grace due to the lack of sleep.

"Nah... I want my first kiss and time to be slow and sensual maybe? I don't know, but if you want more we can try that." Chris says.

I don't understand what he means by this. Did ye want our first kiss together to be special?

"What're were your other first kisses like? Were they expected, unexpected–" I ponder for another question. "What's gonna make mine so special?"

He's silent before answering.

"Well... I've never–" Chris begins.

I hear another voice on the line that must be one of his brothers.

"We're about to leave so we can eat! Let's go!" They say.

"Well wait, I'm on the phone–" Chris says.

I cut him off. "It's fine. Go eat with your brothers. We can continue later tonight."

"Okay... Call you when I'm home y/n. I love you." Chris says.

"I love you too Chris, talk to you later." I say.

By the time he comes back from eating, the idea to continue the conversation is forgotten.

the third time you realize your mistake.

"I think you're going to like this new lip balm I bought. It's cherry flavored, and coming with me to Cali." I say.

There was only one week before we see each other. There's a tingly feeling each time I think about it.

"Yeah? I don't mind cherry, you should bring other fruit flavors so we can try them out." Chris says.

"You're right I should, we could do the chapstick challenge from a few years ago. I can post it on my account since I'm private," I say. "I want to kiss you until I can't breathe." Thoughts just spilling.

Chris's end is silent. I fill the void.

"Well, what if you don't like the flavor, though? Would you shove me away? Or have you kissed another girl who liked to have flavored lip balm and didn't like it?" I trail off.

Chris interrupts me. "I wouldn't know what I like and don't like... I've never kissed anybody."

I laugh at his joke.

"Are you being for real? I can't tell if you're joking." I laugh.

"One hundred percent serious. Never had a first kiss, or anything else." He says.

I sit in the break room in disbelief. There's no way this boy hasn't kissed at least one person, even a small one when he was younger would be okay.

I didn't realize how silent I was on my end.

"Is that okay with you? Need me to get some practice in?" He teases.

"No–no that's awesome. That makes me feel good. I can't wait to show you new things and be your first." I explain, I couldn't contain my smile at this news.

I can't help but think about how he'll act when we kiss. Will he let me take control? Will he try to figure things out as we go? Or will he surprise me when I see him.

"I'm excited for you to be my first for a lot of things. Can't wait for next week." Chris says.

"Me too."

the fourth time you take it to your advantage.

"So what are you going to do on your last night being a virign?" You ask.

Chris laughs. "I'm not sure... maybe jerk off or something?"

"Are you right now?" I ask, curious.

"No–Why–I'm just saying since... You asked what I'd do as a virigin." Chris tumbles on his words. I smile as I realize he's nervous.

I hum. "Okay... if you say so."

Suddenly, an idea pop into my head. Why not mess with him? If he wants his pay back he'll easily get it back tomorrow.

"I'll be back," I say taking out my headphones before he could respond. Muting my phone taking it with me.

I go to my bathroom, turning the light on. I decide to mess with him a little bit. Lifting up my shirt to show off my bra, I quickly take a few pictures at different angles. However, I decide to be brave and hook my finger through the front of my bra lifting it to reveal my breasts. I take a few more pictures before thinking if I should go lower. I go against it, and wait for when I can see Chris in person.

I go back to my room and unmute the call and put my headphones back in.

"Back." I say.

"Welcome back, that was quick." Chris replies.

I nod my head before realizing he can't see me. "Yeah I just went to get water." I say. I think about my next statement but give myself a pass. "Gotta make sure I'm hydrated for when you got me squriting tomorrow."

Chris chokes at that, gasping to catch his breath. I laugh at his reaction, expecting something lighter than what was given.

"Is that—something—you can do?" He asks.

Wanting to be difficult I ask him to clarify. "Not sure what you mean. What's the full question?

He clears his throat before mumbling quiet.

"Do you squirt?" He asks.

I stop myself from laughing. Smiling wide instead. "I've been known to." I say.

"Do you like... Have—a video of you?" He asks.

I can tell he's nervous, but that makes it all the better.

"No... but I have something better." I say. I send him the bra and braless pictures I took earlier.

I hear his phone drop and shuffling happen on his end before the call abruptly ends. I stare at my phone confused, surely not expecting that reaction from him. Still, I laugh a little before getting comfortable in bed waiting for him to call back. On queue he facetimes me instead.

"Christopher." I say.

"Sorry—" He begins before taking a breath. His face is flushed red like a cherry. "I panicked. Definitely wasn't expecting anything tonight." He says nervously.

"It's okay loverboy..." I trail. "What'd you think? Ready to see me tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yes. Fuck. A thousand times yes." He says. He mumbles a few other words after.

"I didn't hear you? What'd you say?" I ask.

"It makes me want to–Make this night—Makes me want this night to go faster..." He says clearly thinking of what he wants to add. "I want to see more of you. I need to see you. Feel you too." He adds.

I smile at him through the phone, and he does the same before looking away.

"Well in less than 24 hours we'll see each other and I'll be in your arms." I say.

He nods his head. I see his face turn into one of thought.

"What're you thinking about Chris?" I ask.

"I'm just nervous. I feel unprepared to see you? This who physical touch will be uncharted territory from how we have been." He explains. "I'm also nervous about if we do... do something more intimate." He adds.

I click my tongue before answering. "That's normal. I'm nervous too... Even if I'm not showing it. I feel like we'll be okay y'know? I think after 3 months of being long distance we'll be even better than before?" I say. "And can I be honest with you?" I ask.

He nods his head.

"It's expected for you to be bad... I'll still like it because it's you though. There's nothing wrong with that. It's your first time, and it won't be like what you've seen in a porno or something... We can decide what is good for us." I say.

Chris makes a sound of approval rather than saying anything. I don't say anything assuming he's getting tired. We sit in silence before I hear a small noise and shuffling from him. I look down at my phone and only see Chris's hair which was stuck to his forehead.

"What're you doing?" I inquire.

"Chillin." He responds. "Had to get comfortable." His voice is out of breath and jagged.

Not believing him I shift to my side and listen more intently. I don't hear anything else but decode to pry.

"Can I see what you're wearing? You saw what I was." I ask.

Chris makes a noise before answering. "I guess—that's fair... Give me a few minutes." He says.

I could care less about his outfit. I figure it's grey sweats and a shirt or no shirt. I only care about what's on his lap and what he's doing.

Before he shows me I hear fabric moving, Chris's failed attempt at being quiet. He lifts up his phone before making a quick swipe down his body. It's hard to see what he was wearing exactly, but I decide to be obvious.

"Can you show me your pants again?" I pry.

"Just my usual grey sweats." He says. I figured but his red face says something else is going on.

I smile at him, he's knows he's busted but I decide not to say anything to make it too obvious.

"Why not show me? I want to see if they're my favorite."

"I—It's the one with the blue 'C'." He says.

"Show me Christopher," I say, giving him a straight face.

Chris's face becomes a deep red. His eyes show that he regrets his decision just slightly, but accepts his defeat. He flips the camera and very obviously stood his cock in his sweats. At the top was a few small dots. Only one could assume it was from his previous activity.

"Interesting..." I start. "Do you care to continue for me?" I ask politely.

Chris chokes on his words before saying. "Yes ma'am."

My stomach feels tight and my legs squeeze together. As much as I love this I never anticipated the night before we meet to be like this. Despite this, I watch his hand appear on the screen and into his sweats. Instead of doing the obvious he wraps his hand around his cock and pumps himself in his sweats.

"Show me. Take it out and let me see." I say.

Chris whines at this. He lifts up his hips and takes one hand to pull his sweats and boxers down to his thighs. His cock comes out and lands on his stomach. His tip leaked precum onto his stomach, and his tip a darker pink after being left neglected.

I rake my eyes up and down, taking it all in. He's good looking and well managed. It's almost ashame he couldn't use it for good.

"Good boy." I mutter. "Let me see you. Continue jerking off."

Chris takes his hand to his dick and wraps around it slowly like he's nervous. But he continues, he pumps himself and goes back up to thumb his head. Slowly but surely, he increases speed as he nears the tip with each pump.

I consider sliding my hand down my pants, but go against it for better judgement. I want to see him work, be there for him. His whines and moans get louder and higher as he chases his high.

"I'm going to love having you tomorrow." I mumbled. Chris bucks his hips into his hands at this. He continues to moan and fuck his hips into his hand. I can hardly control the small moan that escapes my lips as I watch.

When he finishes, he moans my name letting white stripes coat his stomach. I smile at him as he flips the camera. I'm so ready to be with this boy tomorrow.

when you finally meet it's life changing.

"I would say every video there's a least one argument to be made whether someone likes it or not–" Chris explains to me as we walk into his room.

It feels wild to finally be in California, let alone Los Angeles. When his brothers picked me up at the airport, I was amazed to feel him. He felt so real in my hands. We hugged for a good while before Matt honked, saying we needed to not hold up traffic.

We all spent all the spent the day having the boys showed me their favorite spots to visit. From clothing stores to a pizza shop they regularly visit that's been shown in their vlogs.

Chris decided to sit in the middle seats with me so I wouldn't have to sit next to his "icky" brother Nick. It was nice to see him in a different position rather than a bunch of pixels. We held hands the entire time we were out, and he'd open my door each time we got out. I wanted to kiss him when we first saw each other, and after each gesture but held myself back waiting until we could have a moment together.

—

Sitting down in his bed, I ignored what he was saying as he put my bags by his desk. After he finished his story, he sat down next to me. He kept talking... Just like on the phone, he can't seem to stop talking. As much as I enjoy hearing him talk, I need to start what we were do excited for last night.

Rolling my eyes, I swing a leg up, then over his legs as I push him back. I sat on his lap, looking down at him with a big smile. He looks around the room before back at me while lifting his hands.

"You can touch me y'know? I'm not going go break." I remark.

His face turns into a deep red shade as his hands land on my hips. His grip is firm and secure. He takes the chance to squeeze the flesh on my legs before rubbing his hands up and down my thighs.

I choose to be bold and rock my hips on him and leaning down having our chests flush with each other. Chris can only stare at me with his mouth agape. Our noses touch, but I rock my hips again for extra measure and met with him bucking his hips up.

"Ready for your first kiss loverboy?" I coo. His face turns into a deep red shade as he nods his head profusely.

I cup his face, taking a hand to push his hair back so I can take a good look at him. Blue eyes looking back at me with large pupils. I tilt my head to the side before slotting our mouths together. I keep it light and quick before letting go.

"There you go." I smile against hisdating.

I press back in a little to give him a chance to move. However, his lips are limp and unsure of what to do. I decided to be a little more daring. Dragging my tongue along his bottom lip, I lightly nip at him.

I wasn't expecting the reaction I got out of it, but loved it nonetheless. His hands gripped me harder, one sliding down to my ass. He took this as a chance to lightly squeeze it.

I move my hand to the top of his head, carding my hand through his hair before bringing it down to his nape and lightly pulling on his hair to disconnect us. He whines at the loss of contact.

"You got condoms?" I ask. Chris nods his head before pulling my head closer to his to kiss me again. He returned the favor back as he licked and bit my bottom lip. I smiled at the gesture. He was a fast learner.

As I sat on his lap I felt his dick grow hard and twitch with each motion of our lips moving, and the slow rock of my hips. I let out a laugh against him.

"Calm down, calm down..." I whisper. He whines and does as told.

I keep my lips on him, both of us limp. It's nice just feeling our lips together as I stroke the back of his neck with my nails.

"Can–can you–can you touch me baby?" Chris asks. He's cute. His eyes are wide with swollen red lips. His desperation is cute. I give in since he's been so good.

"Where do you want me to touch you?" I know exactly where, but I'd like to drag this out for as long as I can. He closes his eyes as he pulls my head to rest on his forehead. I hum as I wait for his response.

"Anywhere, everywhere. I dunno, I just need you y/n." Chris says.

I slide off him to the floor between his legs. I place my hands on his thighs. I look up at him before speaking.

"Are you sure you're ready Chris?" I ask.

He nods his head quickly, but I giggle at this. "I need words, baby." I chastised.

"Yeah–yeah–yes I want this... I want you," He says. He brings a hand down to my head to cup my cheek. He brushes a thumb against it. "You're so beautiful y/n..." He mumbles.

I couldn't help but get nervous myself and begin to blush a little. Coming back to my senses and what I sat in front of him for, I unbuckle his belt and hooked my fingers around his jeans and underwear. Taking the signal, Chris lifts his hips up to let me pull down his pants to pool at his ankles.

It felt surreal to see him so... raw. While I saw him last night through a screen, it didn't do him much justice. He was a nice size and I couldn't wait to have him when I pleased.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He teases. I roll my eyes at him and pinch his thigh. He hisses at the pain, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Maybe another time... Are you sure you're ready?" I'm not nervous, but I can't help but feel the need to get double confirmation.

"If I didn't want this you wouldn't be on the floor right now." Chris says.

He's not wrong, but I'd never tell him that. I click my tongue and move my face to lay feather light kisses along his thighs. I start close to his knee and work my way up to his pelvis, alternating between each leg. As I grow closer to him he twitches a little with each kiss.

I place a kiss on his tip before laying a few more along his thighs and stomach. Chris brings his hand up to my hair, making a ponytail.

"Stop teasing..." He mumbles.

"Patience, patience... You're gonna have me for a month." I say.

He mumbles something I couldn't hear but don't care enough to ask what he said.

Finally making it to where he needed me most, I wrap my hand around the base of his dick. I take my other and spread the precum that was coming out of his tip down the length of him. A small noise comes out of his mouth. I smile a little in approval.

I slowly pump my hand up and down him, trying to mimic what I watched him do last night. I took my time going down, but sped up a little as I went up and squeezed his tip more precum leaking out.

Chris began to groan a little louder and more with each motion. His grip on my hair grew a little tighter.

I look up at him through lashes. His eyes are closed with his mouth agape. Small gasps are falling from his lips. While I'm looking I guess he felt me staring, and shoots me a smile.

"Can you–can you—can you do one–one–thing for me?" He asks, out of breath.

"Of course, baby." I say.

"Could you use your mouth? I've been thinking about that since you started..." He says.

I couldn't help but smile again, he's so cute. He whines again as I stop moving my hand. I lean forward a little bit to be closer to him. His grip on my hair loosens a little bit. I stick out my tongue and kitten lick at this tip before licking a long stripe from base to tip.

Chris groans and bumps his leg up at the feeling. His breaths start getting heavier as I take his tip into my mouth. I slowly move my head down a little before going back up, using my other hand to pump the base of him. I bob my head up and down on him, taking my other hand to squeeze his balls.

Chris's breath turns into a pant as my name falls seamlessly from his lips. My name comes out almost like a chant...

"Y/n—y/n–n/n..." He mumbles.

His hips start to buck up a little more frequently as I speed up. I feel his dick twitch lightly in my mouth. His grip on my hair loses that loose grip as he tightens and helps move my head up and down.

He makes one loud groan and grunt before cumming in my mouth. I take it and swallow it. Taking my head off of his softening dick I wipe my mouth. I look up at Chris and his eyes are closed while small pants fall from his mouth.

"Wow... that was—I can never say I never had head before." He jokes, wiping his forehead pushing his hair back.

I couldny help but laugh too.

"For sure. How're you feeling?" I ask.

"Amazing... Are we gonna do more?" He asks.

I think about it, but look at his bedside clock. As much as we stay up late on the phone tonight I'd rather go to sleep.

"Maybe another time... Like I said before you have a month with me." I smile, getting up.

He makes a sound of slight disapproval.

"Don't be mad. Let's shower, I want to go to sleep somewhat early." I say.

"We never sleep early, though! We need to watch our show!" Chris exclaims, following me to my bag where I grabbed my night time belongings.

"And tonight I want to. Just because you got head doesn't mean you can act like you're all that." I say.

Chris huffs as he gets his stuff too before joining me in the bathroom.

a/n: idk if I like this... 😔 lmk if you do and send requests pls! ☺️☺️

[caeli0306]

chapter 17 of castles crumbling (aka Tales from the Airport Bathroom extended version) now posted!

Chapter 17: Challenge is now up on AO3: READ HERE

WE ARE BACK! Hopefully with the election behind us and a lot of PTO coming up for thanksgiving and Christmas, I'll have a little more time to write in the coming weeks! I really want to get to the chapter 20 mark by the end of the year, which I think is doable. anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

Summary:

Violet should already be dead. People whispered about her weak body and how she would never live up to her family's martial accomplishments. Violet rose above them all, however, fighting and killing to survive the Navarrian Intelligence Agency's brutal BASGIATH training protocol. Now, people whisper about Violet's swift ascension through the NIA's ranks as one of its most valuable operatives and assassins. The whispers don't matter to Violet: She has her own agenda, and it's a dangerous one - finding out what happened to her father.

But one mission changes everything: Suddenly, Violet finds herself in the crosshairs when she stumbles on information Navarre wants buried, and the country she fought for begins to turn on her. Violet knows too much, but she's determined to do what she does best: Survive. Her only hope is the son of the man who they say killed her brother, but their partnership is far from assured. Some grudges run deep, and trust is a currency too valuable to give freely. Xaden realizes Violet may be the key to everything, but with enemies seen and unseen closing in on all sides, the consequences of failure are deadly.

===

“Still can’t beat me,” I tease, stepping back onto the mat. Liam merely rolls his eyes, then looks past me to where Xaden is lurking a few yards away. He still hasn’t spoken a word since I emerged after the conversation with my mother. I still don’t fully understand why he’s here.

“Are you going to throw, or are you going to keep hanging around silently like a fucking weirdo?” Liam asks him pointedly.

Xaden glares at the blonde, and I choke down the laugh that wants to escape my chest with a hasty cough.

At first, I think he’s going to ignore Liam and keep on with whatever the hell it is he’s doing, but he surprises me by pushing back against the wall he’s leaning against and walking towards us.

He extends a hand towards me, silently beckoning with his fingers. I raise an eyebrow, then tug two daggers from the sheathes along my ribs and handing them to him without a word. His palm brushes against mine as he takes them from me, but instead of looking at them, he’s looking at me. I can’t bring myself to look away.

I look away a half-second later than I probably should have. “Let’s see if you can beat me,” I say, gesturing to the target where the daggers I threw remain embedded in the center. I tilt my head and smirk as I look back to Xaden. “Don’t be too upset if you can’t.”

Xaden’s expression earlier was closed-off and somewhat angry. Now, it morphs into something more familiar, a smirk that matches mine curving his lips.

“Don’t be too upset when I win, Violence,” he says, his first words to me today. I scoff, but move out of the way and off the mat to give him room to throw. He moves to stand where I stood, and I take up a spot to Liam’s left.

[foxspirit1928]

Miss Fisher Snippets (219)

From the archive – Miss Fisher Fandom 30 Day Challenge, Day 8 Saddest episode. This is what I wrote in the original Tumblr post on 09-Feb-2015.

“As an immigrant myself (from a Southeast Asia country to the U.S.), the topics of where one’s loyalty laid (or where it was perceived to lie) during wartime as well as the struggle of being completely integrated into and accepted by the adopted country are very intriguing to me. Even though this was a fictional situation set in a time period almost 100 years ago, and thankfully I haven’t encountered similar situations in real life, I sympathize with the pain and suffering inflicted upon the Voigt family. The world is full of people who are loving and embracing, but there would always be small groups who are ignorant, biased, resistant, and hostile toward the “outsiders” like those in Maiden Creek. Like Jack said, ‘May we never see the likes of her again’.

What’s tragic was that Valma was also a victim herself. Both her husband and son were killed in the war; the heartache and despair drover her over the edge and killed Mikael Voigt, a German immigrant who triggered her hatred toward the enemy country. Sergeant Ford and Dr. Ryan sympathized with her and helped her covered the truth. Ten years later, when Oskar Voigt suspected the real reason of his father’s death, Dr. Ryan had to kill him to keep the secret from being dragged out. Their actions were inexcusable, but the circumstances were sympathizable.

Thankfully, there were also some lighthearted and romantic moments woven into the storyline, like Jack coming to Miss Fisher’s aid after receiving her encrypted phone call, Hugh’s proposal to Dot, and Miss Fisher putting the new hat on Jack. These moments injected some warmth into the episode and lifted our mood a little.”

(Posted 16-Nov-2024)

[burins]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

tagged by @vechter !! thank you so much for the tag i will try not to be tremendously maudlin in response! idk if @timetoboldlygo @rolameny or @try-set-me-on-fire did a fic year in review already. Also if you see this and would like to do it genuinely consider yourself tagged I would love to see your thoughts!

number of stories posted to ao3: 7! although two of those and almost all of another were written in 2023. let's say 4.75.

word counted posted for last year: 27k (minus 8k for estate and 3k for unsent letters, so 16k. Which is frankly, a miracle)

fandoms i wrote for: fatt, dc comics, hxh

pairings: superbat, leopika, dinahbabs, alyarr. I also wrote a relatively high proportion of gen fic this year! 

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: everybody loved how cleanly, how quietly (the tim has friends actually manifesto) which is good because i also love how cleanly, how quietly. 

work i’m most proud of (and why): literally anything i got out this year was the product of blood sweat and tears for reasons i will get into later! I’m probably most proud of the silliest fic i published, my love sits patiently, the leopika chair fetish fic. this sprang out of a joke with some friends and rapidly became ungovernable. I’m always nervous writing for a new fandom about whether i have a good handle on the characters, but the entire process of writing this was just me sitting at the keyboard going teeheehee what if! and then putting that into the fic. I think the comedy hits and the prose is good and i managed not to make it too sad (always a danger) while still keeping the leopika sauce in there!

work i’m least proud of (and why): genuinely i don’t publish things I’m not proud of! the really id shit languishes either in my brain, my dms, or in my notes app. so I’m going to cheat by saying a fic i wrote in 2023 but only put up on ao3 in april. it’s estate, not because i don’t think it’s good-- i think it’s really good!! I gave myself a hell of a challenge in writing it (“oh i want to write a shirley jackson pastiche, from the POV of a character I’ve never written before, and also he is a child” <- words spoken by a fool, and a dingus. No one made me do this!) and I think I mostly succeeded. But because it was for a zine I had a strict word count limit, which meant i had to trim down the prose a fair amount and I think it did lose some of its effectiveness in that process. Someday maybe i’ll go through my gdocs and try to resurrect some of the bits I tightened farther than they should have gone. 

share or describe a favorite review you received: i got a lot of really, really thoughtful and lovely comments this year! I feel immensely lucky every time i write something and people like it enough to tell me so. Especially because writing was such a thorny thing for me it was deeply helpful to have people in my inbox going hey, i loved this. sometimes they did literary analysis! incredible shit!!! there are too many to have a particular favorite but someone just told me that they read to the morning come, the post-utrh superbat, a week into their DC comics journey. Which is crazy because that fic obliquely references the time the Joker was the Iranian ambassador, perhaps one of the stupidest storylines in comics. (In hindsight I could probably have come up with a different reason why Clark doesn't let Bruce kill the Joker.) I hope this person has a great time, and also I’m very sorry. 

a time when writing was really, really hard: ha. well. I don’t think this is what the question was intended to get at but for 90% of the year it was physically painful for me to write! my nerve pain came roaring back in december of 2023 and I spent months and months only able to pick at stuff a couple dozen words at a time on my phone, or trying to do bits in voice to text via a truly wild phone to computer situation, or just full of ideas rattling about that I couldn’t do very much with. I try to let it be what it is but it has been a fucking rough year and many many times it made me want to bite. I have ups and downs and I’ll probably keep having ups and downs! i hope this isn’t forever because i really miss getting to lose myself in prose. but at the end of the day we are all just working within the limits of the form and sometimes that has to be more literal than i’d like.  

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: i was originally writing my love sits patiently leaning more heavily on the jokes. But i realized that it is much funnier and also much sweeter if leorio genuinely gives himself a chair thing because he is so horny and emotional about kurapika, so then i had to write them having sex where the chair was integral while not, myself, being into furniture in that way. (i respect our kink warriors it just isn’t For Me!) 

a favourite excerpt of your writing: i’m so pleased with all of the prose in unsent letters from the end of the world, yet another alyarr epistolary fic, but i’m particularly fond of the conclusion. I rattled around a little trying to figure out how alyosha’s voice should sound in these letters after everything he’s gone through. I was thinking a little bit of Leonard Cohen’s final letter to Marianne Ihlen-- there’s a particular certainty that comes with age, and I wanted to allow alyosha some bitterness while still acknowledging that of the various tragedies he’s witnessed, everything with arrell is probably not the top of the list. And also i wanted to stay true to the ending tone of spring in hieron, which is a story about the end of the world and the lives we make for ourselves anyway. 

What I mean to say, in a rather roundabout way for which you are no longer around to chide me, is that I write you to tell myself a story, to determine my own thoughts by writing them down. To make a story, step by meandering step. I did not begin at the beginning, and I have not ended at the end, but I have, I think, come to the conclusion anyway. I loved a false god, and I will never know what, if anything, He loved. And I loved you, Tutor, and you loved me, and it was not enough. But I also loved the world. I loved it enough to change it. I thought there should be something instead of nothing, and I made it so. I hope I was not wrong to do so. From my window I can see children playing, swinging from branch to branch. I do not think I was.

how did you grow as a writer last year: i would like to say that i learned to accept my own limitations and celebrated my victories (getting a fic out for multiple events, getting to a place where I could write almost all of my love sits patiently by sitting down at a keyboard!!!) but that is a Work In Progress. 

how do you hope to grow this year: i really do not want to jinx anything so i will just say i would like to be able to write sustainably, whatever that means for me this year. I suspect it will mean a variety of different things because what counts as sustainable changes from day to day! 

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): really truly cannot say enough kind things about @suedeuxnim beloved friend beta cheerleader etc. thank you for cheering me on in my dms and keeping me supplied with cat pictures. also, separately, my wonderful spouse. this is a tumblr post, not the oscar acceptance speech, and i suspect they would find it embarrassing if i went on a lot but it makes every aspect of life easier to have a partner in crime. 

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: funnily enough the chronic pain duo fics were actually written BEFORE the big chronic pain resurgence, and also they’re from 2023. (this has actually happened to me twice, and while i’m not going to stop writing about chronic pain it does feel like maybe i am a little bit cursed.) I wrote two fics about bruce’s parenting choices and their effects on his kids and I think you can do the math! No one gets deeply into batman comics because they’re normal about fathers. Oh, in more fun things, Tim’s calendar from how cleanly, how quietly is based on the very real Daikonic Moments calendar from Omega Mart, which was our 2024 calendar. If anyone has suggestions for a 2025 calendar lmk because we got one for Christmas but it’s all bad mullets and we are not hanging it up.  

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: i spent a non-zero amount of this year feeling bummed that i couldn’t write as much as I wanted, both because writing is one of my main hobbies and also because despite my cool and untouchable image (citation needed) it is hard not to compare myself to others who are able to write much, much, much more than me! But that is silly because I am me and they are them. There have been times in my life when i was the demon of productivity and times in my life when i wrote nothing publishable all year. So my wisdom (still working on the implementation part!!!) is to celebrate what you are able to do and not what you don’t manage. And also, write for yourself and your circle of freaks and you can’t go wrong. 

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: anything i can finish is a win! I have a lot of projects in the hopper from almost two years ago; who knows what will happen. I did sign up for secret samol so there will be a fatt fic forthcoming, and I also signed up for another secret project (no longer secret! I'm gonna be in the Bruce Wayne pinup zine) so there’ll be something else probably in early summer. I would love to finish my jaydick injury fic. i have a second chapter of dinahbabs handler sex, but that one involves a lot of disability feelings and i’ve been putting it off because i want to do it justice. maybe superbat amnesia will happen at some point but that’s so long (and has a Real Plot) so the likelihood is slim. I have a LOT of ideas about how leopika can have sex mistakes I’d love to turn into fics but also they’re just fun to rotate. we’ll see!

[womanfredvonkarma]

Favourite discoveries of 2024

As promised, albeit late, here's the post compiling my favourite art, entertainment, etc. that was new (to me) this year. It was an amazing year for reading and learning, here's to 2025 keeping it up 🥂

And oh my God, you are heaven-sent / With your dirty mind, yeah, you're perverted

I. Music albums: O My Heart by Mother Mother, Ta-Dah by Scissor Sisters, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan, Ceremonials by Florence + the Machine.

This year marked a more concerted venture into popular music. The theme seems to be 'catchy yet intelligent', though I also love the darker-sounding, more conceptual Ceremonials. I've also been increasingly loving music from the 70s, 80s, and 90s, especially Talking Heads. Tracks that stand out: 'Rasputin' by Boney M., '[Nothing But] Flowers' by Talking Heads, 'Once in a Lifetime' by Talking Heads, 'Hip To Be Square' by Huey Lewis & the News.

You see control can never be a means to any practical end... It can never be a means to anything but more control... Like junk...

II. Novels (and one anti-novel):

Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs, Kindred by Octavia Butler, Humiliated and Insulted by Fedor Dostoevsy, The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger, Piranesi by Susanna Clarke, Solaris by Stanisław Lem, Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie

I've already gushed about 2024 being my reading comeback. Aside from the favourites mentioned above, I also read some more books that I might post more in-depth about at some later date. There's something unparalleled about the experience of finishing Midnight's Children and going to sleep with my head swirling with images from the book, but Naked Lunch is probably the best prose fiction I read this year, and also the most different.

Whoever you are—I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

III. Plays: A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams, The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams, Caligula by Albert Camus, A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen, Miss Julie by August Strindberg, The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Vassa Zheleznova by Maxim Gorky, All My Sons by Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller

I had to take a class on dramatic literature this year, and it was so cool getting to dissect and analyse the texts in class. Caligula was the one play I read exclusively for myself, and it was genuinely so earth-shattering the only thing I can say is that I'm living in year 1 P.R.C. (Post Reading Caligula). On the other hand, out of the assigned playwrights Tennessee Williams was by far my favourite. I fell in love with his writing and his person, and I also wrote an essay and gave a presentation on his work that I'm still very very proud of.

For about fifteen seconds there, we were actually playing tennis. And we understod each other completely.

IV. Films: Challengers (2024), Kill the Jockey (2024), Kinds of Kindness (2024), All About my Mother (1999)

It was a sparse year for films, but I'm actually shocked by how many movies from 2024 I enjoyed. Challengers was hands down my favourite. I really like where cinematography seems to be going right now, and I can finally say I loved a Guadagnino film. Kill the Jockey might be the lesser known film due to its country of origin, so I want to take this chance to highly recommend it if you enjoy slightly surreal queer stories.

I… I… I am Franziska von Karma. Don't think I'm going to walk in your shadow forever… Our battle… begins now… so you had better prepare yourself, Miles Edgeworth!

V. Game of the year: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (no contest)

It was a shock to me to get so into the original AA trilogy, but I truly fell in love with each and every member (biological or otherwise) of the von Karma family; whatever they have going on compels me insanely. I think Manfred's enduring presence throughout the games is one of the most fascinating things about it, and it's so well-written in that regard. I really hope I can do it justice in my posts. I highly recommend this franchise if you enjoy dysfunctional families, trauma, and the phrase "haunting the narrative".

I truly hope this was of some interest; I'm very willing to go on about these things further lol. Thank you for reading and hopefully I'll be making another post like this at the end of the year!

[bluef00t]

Finally collecting these in a post—Atomic Robo robotswap ideas. This was more of a character design challenge than a real AU, but the concept kind of got away from me.

Rambling design notes + a couple panel redraws + some ideas I had for Helsingard and ALAN 1.0 under the cut:

This idea spiraled out of an old sketch by Wegner of real-boy Robo as a genetics experiment. I'm interpreting that as basically Wolverine minus the animal motifs (and generally much more well-adjusted).

I tried to mimic more elements of his bot design; for example the hair silhouette and the thick blue-tinted glasses, swapped for goggles as his lifestyle got more active. I guess sensitive eyes are a side effect of his mutations. (The classic superhero forehead curl on babyrobo has no design justification, I just couldn't resist.) His appearance would make the public of the '20s a little uncomfortable with seeing him as Tesla's son. Which feels very thematically appropriate.

I'm still calling him "Robo" because it feels weird not to, though it would be a nickname. Appropriate for a guy who never sleeps; plausibly derived from Robert/Ratko. (The American name would be how he's introduced to the public; the Serbian one used casually by Tesla.*) Honestly, it seems in-character for him to put down Robo as his actual legal name when he finally got that chance.

*Things I found out after picking these names for their superficial resemblance to "Robo": Robert means "famous, shining" and Ratomir means "defender of peace"; literally "war for peace". Definitely an affectionately ironic moniker for a son so determined to be an action hero. Though dear monolingual Robo probably wouldn't catch on until decades after Tesla's death... Well, now I've gone and made myself sad.

The action scientists are mostly an excuse to still draw robots. Let's say they're Robo's big midlife crisis project after realizing he was going to outlive his entire first team and not think about it too hard.

Vik (inspired by Robby the Robot) is the oldest of the models. He's optimized for processing power, which is how you get a robot that will try to suggest purely hypothetical (but mathematically sound!) solutions to urgent real-world problems. And enjoys TTRPGs of Turing-complete levels of complexity.

Lang (inspired by Robo) came shortly after, more optimized for the "action" part of action science. Being made of metal does wonders for your recoil management. (I know she hasn't had the hair buns in 10+ years, but that's what I was trying to do with the "antennae".)

Foley (inspired by Alan) is the newest model, optimized for human-robot interaction. Getting wifi installed in her head early on had the unexpected side effect of making her really good at understanding networks of all kinds.

BRN-3 wasn't built to be sentient. He's just a lab geological survey bot that began showing signs of sapience one day and attributes his own "enlightenment" to the "crystals" he'd been studying. This is obviously bullshit but nobody can give a better explanation, so...

Jenkins is literally just the Terminator, except his evil future is vampires instead of AI. He was sent back to kill Robo, which clearly didn't work, so they talked it out and now he just hangs around Tesladyne on high alert for anything that might kick off the apocalypse.

(I have no idea where Ada, Ben, and Koa fit in here, but I might come back to them later. Using their Agents of CHANGE power suits as android designs felt like cheating.)

Not included in these drawings are Helsingard and ALAN, but I'm considering switching around parts of their premises, too.

Helsingard was a Nazi supercomputer meant to calculate the perfect world-conquering strategy. Instead, it realized that Germany's loss was imminent and hid copies of itself around the planet. Every once in a while, someone accidentally boots up a copy and it tries to take over. In the modern age it's a total dice roll as to whether this will be horrifying (what major infrastructure isn't computerized these days?) or just kind of pathetic (it's too old to understand the internet and can easily get itself trapped in an office printer spitting toner and stacks of paper that read BEHOLD HELSINGARD).

ALAN (potential rename pending; the Turing connection is rather lost in the version I'm going with for now) is the world's second successful "unkillable" genetic experiment, a govt project during the Cold War to ensure that the last man alive in a nuclear winter scenario would be British. But it turns out telling a guy he's the next stage in human evolution and sealing him in a bunker for decades to await a chance to inherit the earth which doesn't come isn't great for his sense of compassion or morality. Eventually, ALAN decides to hurry things along before we inferior humans end the world in a less convenient way, and Robo has to... well, you know this part.

It turns out there was a secret phase 2 to this plan, which would have been to populate the solar system with perfect immortal mind-networked clones of himself. The single under-baked clone that it does manage to spit out before being shut down is our Alan :] He needs someone to look after him while his crazy healing powers fill in the missing chunks of his body and brain, and he didn't get a full memory upload from ALAN, so it's free son boy!

No changes were made to Dr. Dinosaur. He's already perfect.

[the-path-to-redemption]

Hello, redeemed Adam AUs anon here! Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Despite close friends telling me to watch FMA for years, I've never gotten around it so I didn't know about Scar. However it's obvious the writing is far superior, and I've watched Arslan Senki from the same author so I know we can trust her with antagonists.

You mentioned the authors having to acknowledge that the system is flawed in the first place, to which I nod eagerly! Except, the authors already acknowledged this!!!

In V4 E6, at the charity party, there's a businessman that's always forgotten, who mentions the real problem is society as a whole. Even worse, that the faunus were PROMISED JOBS by the SDC! So they were cruelly tricked! By the dialogue, Jacques says mining staff from Atlas and Mantle are paid the same, but the businessman points out that there's a significant economic disparity between the two. Obviously it was a good scene to portray and acknowledge the actual issue and how people of power in Atlas didn't care anyway. Good scene.

Except it was never brought up again!!!

I swear, every time you think CRWBY can't get worse, they prove you wrong. So you acknowledge society is at fault, Adam and Ilia's families were tricked into getting a job, and the SDC is very aware of the issue (including Weiss WHO WAS PRESENT), yet ADAM is at fault? Huh? Wha? HUH?!

I know V4 and V5 are known to be some of the worst volumes (dethroned by V8 and V9), but they had so much lore hidden in details that went forgotten two seconds later, they sometimes feel like a fever dream.

Thank you again for reading my ask and answering it! I read the response many times!

Long Post Ahead

You're welcome, anon! To be honest, having such a nice ask after so long was a refreshing surprise for me lol. I'm glad that my answer was satisfactory, and you really should get into FMA! (Based for reading Arslan Senki tho-).

I'm really impressed that you remembered that segment of V4, so I went back to rewatch it myself (in Japanese dub, I can only take Nora and Ruby's Eng voice for so long), and yeah! They DID acknowledged it! Which is why not having Weiss confronting the malpractice of her family's company in V7-8 was so frustrating! Not SHOWING MORE of the wealth disparity of Atlas and Mantle was so bad! We were stuck in a nothing arc where the only person making sense, Ironwood, was bastardized even though in the same episode in V4, he stood up for Weiss!

Ironwood understood that the system of Atlas was extremely flawed, and he ran himself ragged to make sure it gets reformed against an entire council who doesn't care! The guy who actually gave a fuck was made into a villain because the writers are incompetent, the child slave who was branded and disabled was killed off with NO ONE knowing about his abuse or even acknowledged after his death, and the two main characters (Weiss and Blake) fucks around in Atlas with people they do not like instead of at least going to a political rally to support a council candidate who wanted to do better for both human and Faunus!

Hell, Blake and Weiss never brought up the abuse that Faunus goes through in the SDC itself after V7C3, where all Weiss does was give Blake a luke warm apology about her family's sin. Hello?? DO SOMETHING THEN! ARRESTING YOUR SHITTY DAD WILL NOT CHANGE THE WAY FAUNUS WORKERS ARE TREATED, ALL YOU DID WAS CREATE A POWER VACUUM FOR PEOPLE WHO BACKED HIM UP TO TAKE CHARGE AND CONTINUE THE ABUSE!

The show can acknowledged the imbalance all it wants, if it doesn't take the fucking charge of challenging the system it's calling out with its characters, it means nothing. Adam and the Amitolas weren't the only ones tricked to work so that they can survive in a kingdom that hated them for existing, but our protagonists do nothing to prevent more like them from being exploited.

I also stated that the authors have to acknowledge this systematic abuse applies to fan creators. You can criticize Adam for his actions against innocents all you like, but the moral of the story is that he is still a victim and shouldn't be made into the scapegoat of anti-Faunus violence. Adam wasn't wrong to be angry or hateful, stop demonizing him for being rightfully bitter about being abused! Stop with the Perfect Victim shit, please!

V4-5 were bad because they had potential but the writers elected to be boring with them instead, at least those two had a point. V7-9 meant nothing, and that's why they're the worst of the show yet.

Thank you for your asks, anon!

[moonshine-nightlight]

Hi, I'm always very impressed by your world building skills, even in shorter stories! Do you have any advice for aspiring writers on how to build their fantasy world?

So i drafted a response to this in between working just far too much and then my computer crashed and i lost it. Then i was even busier so i never got around to writing it again but i am making some time this weekend, so worldbuilding post - take 2

My main, high level worldbuilding tips are:

Rule of Cool: worldbuild things you think are fun and interesting. not only is that the best way to get ideas you like and are motivated to write about, but other people will also think they're interesting too. have fun with it.

Iceberg theory: know more about the world than ever makes it into the story. people can sense when worldbuilding is shallow, so even if they never see the true depths of the world they can often sense it's there. plus if u know the whole picture, everything the readers do see will seem more coherent

Integration: i heavily integrate the world i'm building into the story i'm telling--so dig into the plot and characters and make sure that the world and the story serve each other well. your world is there to contribute to the story so make sure its fulfilling that purpose

For more specifics about how i personally world build and for some examples from my stories of the above guidelines, see below.

So firstly, i love worldbuilding. i just think its a ton of fun and could easily spend hours just thinking about worlds in my head. (i mean what else is there to do when ur commuting to work, amiright?) i think that does make it easier for me to take the time to do it right and makes the world come through more vividly in my writing. it can get annoying or tedious or be more challenging at times, but since i like it/find world building interesting, i'm more willing to put in the time and effort to whip it into shape and i get less frustrated with that part of the process in general.

i'm also always thinking about world building to some degree in the back of my mind. picking up interesting information, facts, snatches of cool ideas or images or whatever. then i throw all that in like a junk drawer in my brain so when i sit down to more officially write or flesh out a world, i already have spare parts at my finger tips to use or drawn on.

Reading and consuming other art and worlds also makes it easier to make your own, just lik reading is a key part of writing practice. i don't just mean fiction, but just anything about the actual world makes it much easier to make up your own--that can manifest as awe at the fireflies that actually exist or spite that dragons dont. Whether that's random youtube video essays about the history of musicals or drinks or fashion to books and articles and documentaries or just my friend's niche interests (or their regular jobs). i'm always taking worldbuilding notes in the back of my mind.

For a more writing specific example, i read this short guide '50 Ways to Kill a Mermaid' (its locked for AO3 so u hav to sign in to read it) and it was super fun and cool to read that info from a writer who had studied marine biology. then when i was fleshing out Don't Shoot the Messenger a year later, the problem of Satrasi being a sea demon in a fresh water pool and bloating came to my mind because i'd stored that tidbit from the article away for later use.

My personal method for worldbuilding and plot outlining is sort a brainstorming/Q&A i have with myself (i hope this makes sense when i'm done writing this all out lol).

I've mentioned this before but the prompt that inspired Dale was: "You’re pretty sure your boyfriend was replaced by an eldritch being that can barely emulate being human. Weirdly, you enjoy a better relationship with them than your actual boyfriend."

So when that idea grabbed me, i started brainstorming about the world and asking myself questions. Why is the reader with the boyfriend if they don't really like them? What would make someone stay in a relationship like that? Do i want to make this a dark story? And i did not, i wanted it to be fun, so the arranged marriage angle came to mind. And if that's the premise then when is the story? is this our 'past' or another world entirely? diff world means more freedom so i automatically leaned in that direction.

Can the reader tell the 'boyfriend' has been replaced? Are demons a thing people know about? does the reader know that's an option? which is more fun? if the reader is worried about Dale getting caught, that's more room for hijinks so then yes, demons are known, but not common otherwise too many people would notice.

So my plot and worldbuilding are evolving in tandem and informing each other, based on the type of story i want to tell and how the characters i have in mind will react etc.

i run through a lot of ideas and turn them over in my head--trying out diff pieces to see if they fit--and am always willing to drop an idea or save it for another story if i don't think its working for the current one

For iceberg theory, i mentioned above for Dale would be the religions in that world. When i decided to introduce a priest like character (for discovery danger) i knew i needed to focus more on the religions than i previously had noted. the majority of what i came up with isn't int he story, but i think the fact that i know it helps me write when did end up in there, helped make it consistent, and means i can more easily work in allusions to it without having to work so hard those singular times.

For example, i'd decided to call the demon realm "the Depths" early on, which to me already invokes deep water and darkness, so i followed that through to sort height and air and light as being perceived more positively. fire and light are important symbols in this world and they primarily burn their dead--to bury someone below ground would be seen as almost condemning them and someone drowning is also seen as like, not good for their soul because what if it is 'pulled down' rather than 'ascending'. some of this was alluded to in the chapter, but most of it is not. this also helped me come up with the various "by the light" "dawn's ire" and other similar little 'religious' phrases and exclamations different characters use at times.

Meanwhile, in Sacrifice, the people living their are relatively non-religious--thats why they both don't pray to any other deities and it takes 5 years of problems to even bother trying an old god. it's not sacrilege because they're desperate people trying a long shot, not violating or abandoning a different belief. because i wanted the reader's main problem with it all to just be that they didn't think it work.

And why is she a translator? because i wanted to use the idea from that one post that goes around about how ridiculous it is in movies when their translated prophecies rhyme in english. why are they arguing about the translation? because its a dead language so no one really speaks it, that means the people who came up with it were here a century ago or longer. why aren't they here anymore? nomadic so they left and ended up staying away because of a natural disaster elsewhere. why is this town here now? a particular export/resource in this area became valuable enough for people to try to live here. the fact that its a lumber town due to some rare wood native to the area doesn't come up in the story, but i know it and i think that i know that about the town helps it feel more real, makes it easier for me to reach for new details when i need them

and going back to anything can be inspiration, let's talk about the doorlock in the very beginning of Finally Woken. its literally just a magical keypad/number pad but with different colored tiles instead of numbers because i wanted the reader to be able to get in, but i felt it didnt make sense for them to hav a physical key. and i thought it would look cool in Heshi's door and it went well with the fact that he's a glassblower . also, why is Heshi a glassblower? because i frickin' lov blown glass - i just think its so cool and pretty. that helped lead into the sort of artisan economy feel that world has.

Each of these stories has an outline and notes doc at a minimum. the notes doc is where i throw lik pics, inspiration posts, random worldbuilding ideas etc. only much shorter stories or stories that are heavily based in 'modern' world don't hav extensive random notes.

my Dale folder has subfolders for characters and the setting, as well as random worldbuilding files such as "demon summoning/magic" "spiritual belief and org" "fashion - feminine" and so on. Even excluding the plot outline and chapter notes (and not counting pics) i've got like, over 4k of random notes saved. dale is the one i hav the most of that for, but all my fics have some little section with stuff like that jotted down

in the end, i think the best way to sum up all that is with my three original rules of: put stuff u think is cool in your world, known more than you tell to help everything fit together and seem deep, and build your world around your plot and characters because they should all be working together to tell the story you want to tell.

honestly, i could ramble about worldbuilding all day so if anyone has any questions or wants more examples, just let me know ^^

[manasseh]

Now that most big dates have passed, I'm excited for the summer :)

It's always so interesting, the feeling of 'I'm done with the school year so I can start learning now' ^^' But it's so much easier to be healthy and curious on my own. Wish they'd just let me do whatever + the freedom to bother teachers as much as i wanted, and give me a degree based on the quality of my portfolio lol

For the rest of june, I've been challenging myself to wrap some stuff up, so I can start fresh on the next chunk in july!

✔ rough schedule for july

✔ finish drawabox lesson 3

✔ finish Duolingo Hebrew/Chinese units

✔ finish Korean book chapter

✔ deep clean my room ✧ the kitchen ✧ my files and images

✔ sew on previous embroidery project and set up the next

✧ wrap up the modeling and texturing part of my 3D model, ready for rigging ~

✔ watch/read only 'watch later' videos and posts

Here's some of the video essays from channels I overall recommend! These long form vids sometimes take me like a week to get through lmao but it works well while doing tasks like this week.

> Kawaii: Anime, Propaganda, and Soft Power Politics Moon Channel

> how dark mode killed good design Answer in Progress

> Analyzing Every Torture Scene in Call of Duty — All 46 of Them Jacob Geller

> Bardcore : Neo-Medieval vs Actual Medieval Music Farya Faraji

✧ respond to asks and tag games finally

✔ make the most of the rest of free trial hip hop dance course lol

[herwrittenuniverse]

Happy 1 Year AO3 Anniversary to me!

Yes, I'm that weirdo that remembers the one year anniversary of joining AO3. 23, however, is my favorite number, and it was also the beginning of the school year - I think that's why it's so distinct!

Last year, I was looking to do more things that I love, so I said "fuck it" and decided to post a chapter to a fic I hadn't updated in years and years on a different fanfiction website. A longtime reader/ fanfic author @butterflydreaming-writes-fic contacted me and basically said, "Girl, you gotta get on AO3. It's where it's at!" And one year later, here we are!

Here are some totals for you...

Of course, I know some other authors have higher stats then me, and that's okay. I'm proud that in just a year, I've accumulated over 1000 kudos, over 200 bookmarks, and over 21,000 hits. It's very gratifying.

I have 23 stories in total, but not all of them of new. Some are old ones that I reposted from a different website. Out of those 23, 9 are Cardcaptor Sakura, 2 are Final Fantasy VII, and a whopping 12 are of The Dragon Prince (with more to come on the way! I'm in the groove now.)

My most popular story based on hits is Lunation, my interpretation of the reconciliation between Rayla and Callum. I worked the hardest on this fic and am happy to see it still remains at my most popular piece. (Although, some of the shorter, sillier ones from S5 are quickly approaching its numbers, and I admit I will be kind of sad if it's no longer at the top! 😂) On the other end, my least popular is Red Lite, Green Lite, which is a silly little fic about Vincent Valentine going about Midgar trying to get a cigarette. It's quite funny.

The first not-reposted original story was Promises, Promises - a take on Callum's fatal promise to Rayla. ("You have to kill me.") I've never written such an action-packed piece and I am pretty proud of it. Even when rereading it, I still feel the urgent tone that carries itself throughout the story.

My most underrated fic is definitely To Those Who Crossed Over, a weirdly experimental story about how Touya from CCS - a naturally gifted clairvoyant - comes face-to-face with another medium, causing some interesting in-depth insight about Yue. While it's not the norm, it definitely is an interesting read.

In the next year, I would love to post some other fandoms (like RWBY, for example) and perhaps continue/expand on the CCS fic To Love Another. It's a story about Touya coming to terms with who Yukito/Yue are as a person. It is definitely the most quietly popular fic, with no comments but 96 kudos and 18 bookmarks.

Also, I want to simply continue to write. I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to fanfiction. Character and canon accuracy are important to me, but I am slowly realizing that fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be. And that's the beauty of it.

Remember, fanfiction writers do it for nothing except the love of our fandom. We take time out of our days to pour our hearts into stories for you to read. I'm so grateful to AO3, as the website allows us a safe space to do that. (I always donate when the time comes, and if you read or write on AO3, you should too!)

In the past year, I rebranded and created my online personal as HerWrittenUniverse because I felt like I was entering another era of fandom. In addition, fanfiction has personally opened up so many door for me. It's giving me a healthy way to express my love for a fandom, challenged me to increase my writing skills, and opened up doors to friendships that I never though possible. So thank you to Cris for kicking my butt and getting me on AO3, thank you to my fellow fandom friends for supporting me (and everyone else!), and thank you to the readers. Fanfiction writers create for themselves - but the support is always nice, too!

Cheers to another year on AO3!

[diasporableus]

On Honesty

(Or, Personal Grief, Collective Despair, and Finding the Will to Survive)

CW: Depression, grief, anxiety, and loss – Please take care of yourself, and only engage if you have the emotional capacity to do so)

Can I be honest? I mean, can I be brutally – if not painfully – transparent? I am not okay, and I haven’t been for a long, long time. At what felt like the height of my professional achievements, my mom was diagnosed with Stage IV endometrial cancer. She died less than a year later. Her sister, my aunt, died six months after that. All of this happened less than a year after my Nana’s passing and only four years after my grandfather’s death.

I’ve been suffering in silence, isolating, struggling to grapple with loss, grief, fear, loneliness, and even shame. The past four years have been the hardest of my life to date. I’ve felt unbalanced, untethered, and, at times, completely broken. I cannot count the number of mornings I struggled to pull myself from bed, nor can I specify the number of nights I cried for the elusive relief of sleep. I’ve been sinking into a depressive spiral – overwhelmed with the burdens of living and paralyzed by the eternal challenges of just being. 

“come celebrate with me that everyday something has tried to kill me and has failed.” Lucille Clifton, “won’t you celebrate with me”

Lucille Clifton writes about surviving the thing that has tried to kill her, but there have been days where I have felt like death is winning its war with me. With every phone call, text, email, private message, and letter to which I struggle to respond; with every bright, clear day that feels shrouded in darkness; with every ruminating thought that pulls me from the present and traps me in the sadness of the past or uncertainties of the future; with each of these things, I have wondered if this is what it feels like, to stop living before your death.

I warned that I would be brutally honest, but I didn’t expect to divulge the ugliest bits in the way I have. It’s clear that my mind and heart were begging for relief. 

I’m writing, in part, because I need to. I have to. Writing, for me, was once (and, I think, still is) a part of my survival. It was – is – as vital as breathing. But writing also requires an honesty and openness that I haven’t been brave or bold enough to bear. That is, I think, why I haven’t written in so long. I’ve been drowning, struggling to articulate just how I’m feeling and why. I’m writing this, primarily, to save my own life. But I’m thinking about our collective survival too. 

The outcome of the recent U.S. election is heavy on the minds of many, myself included. Knowing what can trigger my own anxiety- and depression-fueled spirals, I try to keep myself away from post-mortem analyses. I cannot afford to sacrifice any more of myself to despair. But, I think – hope – that this is a moment where we will dwell upon our relationships to one another and be intentional about caring for ourselves and others too. 

….

How do you survive a war? How do you armor yourself for ongoing catastrophe, crisis, and disaster? To be sure — there are those of us who don’t survive, those of us who don’t make it to the other side. And then, there are those of us who survive, barely.

I think of my loved ones who have lived under dictatorial regimes. Their bodies carry the build up of so much pain. Some live with the physical manifestations of decades of psychological and emotional terror: constant illness, constant sickness, and premature death. Others are scarily silent. They refuse to speak about “those times,” bottling away all their memories and whatever emotions that may surface. I think of my loved ones who are  emotionally distant — never sentimental, rarely loving. Dissociated and detached. So death — be it physical, spiritual, or emotional — is always a possibility in times of authoritarian rule, but it is not the only possible future. 

For over a century, the United States has deliberately prevented revolutionary activism from transforming nations across the globe. In no region is this more true than the Americas. Examples abound, but Haiti immediately comes to mind. Whenever the Haitian people have asserted their freedom and attempted to build a state for and by the people, the U.S. has used its military and diplomatic powers to thwart Haitian self-determination and advance U.S. economic objectives. This was true in the aftermath of the Haitian Revolution, in the years that followed the creation of the world’s first Black republic. This was true during the U.S. Occupation of Haiti in the early 20th century. This was true during the reign of the Duvalier regime when the Tontons Macoutes terrorized the Haitian public. This was true every time liberation theologist Jean-Bertrand Aristide was democratically elected Haiti’s president, ousted in U.S.-backed coups, and forced to live in exile. This was true in the aftermath of the devastating 2010 earthquake, and it continues to ring true in the midst of Haiti’s current political and economic crisis. A few years ago, when there were fierce protests against then Haitian president Jovenel Moïse, I remember watching a U.S. journalist interview Haitian activist David Oxygène in Port-au-Prince. Oxygène castigated U.S. intervention in Haiti:

“It’s American policy that has a problem with Haiti. Jovenel Moïse is in power, under the control and direction of American imperialism. They’ve attacked our culture. They’ve attacked Vodou. They’ve attacked the spirit of our ancestors. They spit on the memory of Jean-Jaques Dessalines.” 

The journalist asked Oxygène if there was anything he believed that U.S. president Joe Biden should know, if there was anything Biden could “do for Haiti.” Oxygène responded, “I have no message for Joe Biden. He is not superior to Dessalines.” He went on to explain that Biden and Trump’s policy agendas towards Haiti were identical despite the politicians’ ostensible ideological differences. 

I think of that interview often, particularly Oxygène’s proclamation that Biden was not and could never be as consequential as Dessalines. For this activist who had spent decades living under the political and economic brutalism facilitated by American politicians, corporations, and even non-profits (the Clinton Foundation is especially deserving of scrutiny), revolutionary leader Jean-Jacques Dessalines constituted a guiding light. American intervention in Haiti has wrought a great deal of pain. But it has not killed Haitians’ critical engagement with the island’s history or isolated them from the beauty of their inheritance. Although centuries apart, in Dessalines, Oxygène found a model of possibility, an ancestral guide in the continued struggle and resistance against imperial rule.

….

There’s a question floating around many Left and progressive spaces across the U.S.: Where do we go from here? 

I most certainly do not have any special insight or clarity, let alone answers. But I keep thinking of how much knowledge there is to be gleaned from people who have lived under authoritarian repression and still organized, still gathered, still written, still hoped, still dreamed, and still fought. I think of folks like David Oxygène. 

One dominant narrative of political transformation positions the U.S. as the “leader of the free world.” In this false narrative, the U.S. instructs so-called less sophisticated nations on how to create an enduring constitutional democracy. After all, the U.S. has the world’s oldest and — supposedly — most stable constitution. 

To be clearer than clear — I do not believe this narrative. It’s as fictional as the United States’ Founding Fathers’ hypocritical declaration, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men were created equal” while creating a government that protected slavery at all costs. No, the U.S. has never been a true democracy, and many of us who have lived under its authority — both within its borders and beyond — have never been fully free. And, while some legal scholars still refuse to acknowledge this, the U.S. is in the midst of a constitutional crisis. What have historically been described as bedrock, foundational constitutional principles are and have long been under assault. This has been a long and steady decline, one that has occurred over the past forty plus years with numerous shifts in both the make-up of the judiciary and the forms of interpretative enterprises deemed acceptable. The depoliticization of legal education has further reversed the modest gains of the mid-twentieth century. The incoming presidential administration will only quicken what has been in motion for some time. 

Nonetheless — I share this dominant narrative because, for too long, U.S. education has wrongfully espoused the notion that the nation has a great deal to teach the world. Now is the time for us to follow in the tradition of writers, thinkers, and activists who have long rejected such a proposition. We who live in the U.S. have so much to learn from revolutionary struggles. And, like the Black liberation activists of the early and mid-twentieth century who understood the relationship between the kinds of violence the U.S. government inflicted upon both domestic and global populations, I hope we see our oppression and liberation as bound up with the plights of many others in this world. 

There’s much to be said about the lessons we can learn from history, from past struggle. And I hope that, over the coming months and years, we will find community with one another as we engage in that critical study. We must also consider the importance of shifting our own temporalities, of neither desiring nor expecting that we might live to see the labor of our work. 

A few years ago, Angela Davis was supposed to receive the Fred Shuttlesworth Human Rights Award in her native Birmingham in honor of her activism, scholarship, and advocacy. However, the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute rescinded Davis’s award due to criticism of her long-standing support of Palestinian liberation. Eventually, the award was reinstated, but a group of Birmingham natives, grassroots activists, decided to host an alternative event in Davis’s honor. In that event, Davis engaged in an hour long discussion with the writer and scholar Imani Perry. I’d like to share the end of Davis’s talk from that night because I’ve thought of it often in the years since: 

“Oftentimes, we assume that when we work for justice and equality and freedom, that we’re going to see immediate results. And capitalism teaches us to want to see the immediate…So we have a relationship to our history that is very much modeled after capital’s market. And we don’t necessarily recognize that the work we do today, while we may not see immediate consequences tomorrow, or even next year —  or even ten years from now —  but maybe down the line, maybe twenty years, or fifty years — or one hundred years from now — the work that we have done, at this particular moment, will have made a difference. I think it’s so important to try to develop that different temporality… I always point out that hundreds of years ago, there were people who were standing up against the institution of slavery, and they were imagining. They were imagining a different world. They knew that a different world was possible. They never got to experience that world, but, that world is the world we’re inhabiting today. They made it possible for us to be where we are, and so we have to begin to think broadly in that way and imagine how consequential our work can be… Let’s see if we can gauge the value of the work we do now by its possible future consequences. And perhaps fifty years from now or one hundred years from now, there will be some people gathered in the way we are gathered here this evening, who will be thankful, who will give thanks to those who came before them, who will be thankful for the work we did when we were called upon to do it.”  ….

I don’t know where we go from here or what comes next. I am, as I have shared, trying to figure out how not to die under the weight of my own depression, anxiety, and personal journey with grief. What this journey has taught me, however, is that survival is not and cannot be an isolated endeavor. To the extent that we are able to survive, we cannot survive without each other. We are moving into an uncertain future, living in an unsettled time. But we cannot make it through this thing called life alone.

I hope this note finds you, and I hope we find each other. I hope that we will be intentional about caring for ourselves and those we love in days, months, and years to come. We must create the world we seek to live in, even if we will never be able to inhabit that world ourselves.

A luta continua. The struggle continues. 

[librathefangirl]

9, 10 and 17 for your fic wrapped pls 🥺❤️

My pleasure! Here you go 💜

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Okay, so romantically speaking, this year I've only posted fics for Melizabeth in different constellations - Elizabeth/Meliodas, Goddess Elizabeth/Meliodas, Elizabeth Liones/Meliodas, and Liz/Meliodas. Out of those four, Goddess Elizabeth/Meliodas was the most fun to write. I just really enjoy exploring that era and that pairing to be honest. I mean, enemies-to-lovers in a holy war whose love story was so revolutionary that the gods decided to kill their own heirs?

Liz/Meliodas takes second place because Liz and the Danafor era deserves some more love - but I've only written one fic with Liz and it wasn't that much focus on her/her relationship with Mel in that one.

But if we're talking pairing as in two people with any kind of relationship (romantic, platonic, whatever) then it's hands down Meliodas & Zeldris. I mean, it's the demon bros, do I need to say more? I am, personally, a huge sucker for siblingship of any kind in media. (Maybe because I have a lot of siblings myself? Maybe because my aroace self feel a bigger connection to those relationships even tho I really enjoy romantic ones too). Plus, there is so much fun dynamics to explore with these two; Mel and Zel's childhood, the betrayal, reconciling after everything, or other stuff completely (<- I'm actually low-key working on an au where Mel and Zel are goddesses and Ellie is a demon and it's been really interesting to figure out the brothers' dynamic without the canon betrayal, also they're twins in that one fyi).

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Ooh now that's an interesting question. Let's see... The fastest ones were probably all written in February to be honest, because that was my most productive writing month (I was also doing Febuwhump which added pressure and motivation to complete the fics quick lol).

There All Along was probably the one I finished the quickest. It was written in February, within a day, and also one of my shortest fics.

My Love, It Burns was probably the quickest longer/multichapter fic I wrote this year. It was written during the end of February, also within a day I think, and, well, inspiration just struck. I had a clear idea of what I wanted to write, and was excited to try writing two different endings to the same fic. (Plus I wanted to write the endings close together so they matched up well).

But also telling how quick a fic is to write is hard lol usually I write down the idea and maybe even make the document but then don't actually work on it until days/weeks/months later...

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

This is actually a difficult question. Because while I do love writing about Meliodas (he's my blorbo, my baby - the only fic out out 25 that he wasn't tagged as a character still had him featured in the background and as a "topic"). But I also feel like I tend to write other characters' pov more than his (possibly because he's mostly the one getting whumped lol). So Meliodas is a character I like to write stories of, but if were talking point of view and all, I liked writing Merlin and what's-his-face... Gavin!

Merlin is actually a character I find hard to write (but hey it can be a fun challenge) but also fun to write. I especially love how she can be like a bridge of knowledge between what the other characters know of Meliodas/demons and the truth (that she knows). Writing from Merlin's pov also allows me to really tap into the age and history of Meliodas and her :)

Gavin (my oc from One Man's Beast, aka the Monster Sins AU) was fun to write because to be honest outsider's pov is really funny when the Seven Deadly Sins are involved (the chaos! lol). Also it allowed me to explore the AU in a better way. (<- speaking of, I'm playing around a bit with the outsider's pov in my next Monster Sins AU fic too, because a part of that one is from Dreyfus and/or Hendy's pov)

Anyway! ao3 wrapped (ask game) <- if anyone wanna send me more questions :)

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️THE SLAY PASS GETS USED☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 13 “A Heart's Desire” PART 1

(EDIT: Because the episode is so long and there's a lot to talk about, I'm splitting this up in two parts. Ran out of images.)

Part 2 >>

WELP. HERE WE ARE.

THE FINALE OF DISVENTURE CAMP

...Season 1.

I'm actually excited for this. I have been REALLY enjoying reacting to this show and making posts about it.

I mean, yeah, it has problems, that I did complain about, BUT I enjoy watching it and I'm liking it and I think that's what matters more than anything else.

And besides, I never acted like Total Drama was perfect either. I've complained about that too.

It's really interesting how I, as a Total Drama fan, got to this point, you know? I picked up the show when it was on YouTube (the channel is terminated now) during Covid Quarantine to kill the time and get away from my own problems. I was WEIRDED out by the show to say the least when I watched the first season, because I wasn't used to anything like it at the time... but then a couple weeks later I found myself not able to stop thinking about it for the next 3-4 years.

The show was very fun and chaotic and I really enjoy its premise despite its flaws. The show was also responsible for opening my eyes to more psychological research, believe it or not. Because in my fanon mindset that might or might not be canon (depends) the show was about how damaging these reality shows could be to people. So I like to dive into the more interesting characters psyches and how the show changed them for better or worse.

So now that I am grown up, in my 20s, and working to be a producer for indie animation someday, it feels SO RIGHT for me to come across an indie show similar to Total Drama and be invested in it as much as I became. I was NOT recommended this show. I was told to keep my distance because it was bad. But while I do confess there's problems, I DO think the writing in particular is the weakest element of this show, I enjoy it, I've really liked it, and I think that's what matters to me.

I'm definitely going to react to Season 2 & 3 in the future. But before then there's a tier list for every character I want to do, because I have A LOT to say regarding that.

It really does feel like a new era of my Tumblr Blog for me. I started this blog years ago as an advertisement for my writing. But then I took my hobby of making essays about media and started posting here, and because of my Total Drama addiction, I had a lot of people mistaking me for a 'Total Drama Blog'.

I am NOT a Total Drama blog. There's other stuff, and other media, that I talk about. AnalyzGolden is not limited to what she analyzes XD

So it does feel like a new era reacting to Disventure Camp and wanting to talk about it. Even though I'm not caught up.

So thank you for the support of these posts so far. First and foremost. You guys really have motivated me to do these knowing you enjoy them, and my... interesting personality being on display.

Because my posts are usually so analytic, it's a bit harder to showcase the user's personality with them, and in reaction posts, that's much easier to see. I'm not always this stern objective analytical person who acts all calm the entire time XD. I'm actually very emotional and expressive in personality, so some of my followers are probably gonna see these posts and think "What?! Golden is like THIS?! What is THIS side of her?!"

Anyway, enough stalling. Let's finish this season.

*Gets a grammarly ad*

What a way to start the finale. YouTube is mocking my reaction posts.

"But it's not the professional grammarly way, so your contributions here are quite shit."

"Before we go to the final challenge, we asked the last three campers to tell us about their experience at camp!"

Fiore "I killed people in VR. That was the best experience of my life."

Ellie "I psychologically destroyed a man, and I don't regret it one bit."

Miriam "...yeah, it was nice."

"And I'm in the finale against a six year old girl and a seventy year old woman!"

Heyo, don't underestimate those two. Fiore's a psychopath and Miriam was an athlete back in her day.

"Would I have preferred Alec to be here instead of Ellie or Miriam? Eh."

Do you care about him or not?

I think she DOES care, but she's also so caught up in her own ego that she acts like she doesn't. That's how last elimination happened.

🎵"He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame, if you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would've one the same"🎵

It's an all women finale, what can I say?

Miriam "I support women's rights."

Ellie & Fiore "Well I support women's wrongs."

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"I have the slay pass from Golden! And I'm gonna use it!"

Imagine if she does use it. It'll be my fault.

"What will I be remembered for? Not for anything good... probably for betraying people and ruining things with Tom and Jake..."

"You can eat shit and die."

"You have no right to shame me."

YEP. YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

I STILL DO NOT FORGIVE YOU.

I mean, I get it. You have a hard life. You're just trying to survive. I understand that...

But you could've just stolen that godforsaken idol from Tom and you wouldn't have had to destroy anyone.

"We also visited the losers hotel so they could give their thoughts on their sweet and maybe not so sweet experiences."

Ooh, here we go.

OH YEAH I FORGOT THE ELIMINATED PEOPLE COME BACK IN THE FINALS...

"My stay at Disventure Camp was a lot shorter than I would have liked..."

...is it bad that I forgot you existed?

🎵"I forgot that you existed"🎵

"I've learned not to be swayed by appearances."

YEAH. I'M GLAD YOU LEARNED THAT.

"After I got voted out, I was able to continue things with Will and... now we're dating!"

WAIT WHAT?!

UM... WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! HUH?!?!?!

And I thought Ripper & Axel were such a crack ship.

This came right out of nowhere! OMG...

I mean whatever. You two aren't bad people, so you can be cute, whatever. I don't really care. Hope you're happy.

"What can I say? I was a bloody fool..."

And?

*cuts away*

That's it? Okay.

Aw, Jake! ❤️

"I haven't talked to Tom since we got kicked out... We've bumped into each other a few times at the hotel, but he doesn't want to talk to me."

Yeah... 😔

I can't say I'm surprised though. Tom DID say he didn't want to talk to Jake ever again, so...

HE GOT THE MOST PTSD FROM THIS GAME. POOR THING.

"I know I deserve it."

😭💗

HONEY. NO...

"What did I learn? Well if you have a job to do just do it, without falling in love with some silly boy who ends up ruining your future!"

DAMN...

DAMN THAT'S COLD.

Yeah, those two are not talking after this show. They're done.

There is no hope for this ship anymore.

I'm eating Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight.

"I have nothing to say. Get that camera out of my face!"

MOOD.

YOU MAD YOU LOST TO A CHILD?

"Some of them attempted to refuse, but we reminded them it's mandatory."

I expected that honestly XD

Grett would not be here otherwise.

JAKE IS THE ONLY ONE DEPRESSED, AWWWW...

I'm telling y'all, this experience is gonna make him an asshole in season 3 season and make so many enemies out of it.

I mean that would explain why my feed has had a bunch of people despising Jake so much. I'M CHOOSING TO SUPPORT HIM IF HE WANTS TO HATE EVERYONE.

(As a character direction, not 'excusing every bad action ever')

*gets coffee creamer ad*

I guess that's one way to act in a depression episode.

"Ima go down a coffee and overstuff it with cream so I have the energy to CRY MY EYES OUT 24/7. WHAAAAAAAAAA, NO ONE LOVES MEEEEEEEE..."

"Jake maybe don't drink that much, you're shaking."

"I WAS GETTING KINDA USED TO BEING SOMEONE YOU LOOOOOVVVEEEDDD..."

(Why do I enjoy doing my whiny Jake impression?)

"Can someone knock him out? I'm getting concerned."

Miriam supporters. Not surprised Jake & Tom are there.

Course Gabby supports her girlfriend.

How does she feel about what Ellie did... cause uh... that's gonna be something Ellie's gonna have to explain...

Also why is Alec supporting Ellie? She ditched him in a cave and caused his elimination.

You'd think he'd have more cold blood than that.

XD

GRETT is the ONLY Fiore supporter?

That's so funny to me.

Though that IS one that makes sense.

"Yeah, you shot me in the face to get immunity, which was MESSED UP. But you also helped me figure out some things, and I have to acknowledge you for that."

Respect. Respect.

"I'll have you know, I was forced to choose, these three can go-"

OKAY NEVERMIND XD

GRETT I LOVE YOU

"What?! You assholes! Not even you Alec?"

"Um, you DUMPED ME. ARE YOU SURPRISED?!"

Girl, you confessed to hating EVERYONE multiple times!

This is like Velma expecting everyone to like her when she confesses to not caring for anyone and being a dick to everyone. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!

Fiore's a much better character though.

"A bowl of spoiled potato salad is more likeable than you, girl."

"Thanks for the support, everyone! I didn't think I would get that much."

Miriam, you deserve it.

OH MY GOD WOW.

OH WOW THAT'S COOL

AWWW... that's so sweet. They actually animated all these Patreons.

"By the way if you want to support us making more of these episodes, you can join our Patreon."

Okay that's just a fourth wall break.

The other characters are like "Um... who are you talking to? What's a Patreon?"

"Each finalist will be able to choose one person to help them in the challenge. Who's it gonna be?"

Miriam's probably choosing Jake.

Ellie's obviously picking Gabby.

Fiore's gonna have to pick Grett my default cause there's no other option.

All three of my favs became helpers XD

"Gabby!"

Yep.

"I choose Tom."

OH. REALLY.

Actually, that makes sense cause Tom is more physically capable.

Yeah, I understand that.

"Good decision, Miriam."

Awww

XD

THE FACE.

"YOU DARE COMPLIMENT ME?!?! OH THAT DOES IT!!! YOU WILL NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN SIR!!!!"

Tom hates Jake so much now. It's so sad.

"I guess I choose Grett. She's my only option."

So I got two right.

"And what if I refuse to help you?"

OH DAMN, NEVERMIND

"Fine, I'll give you a part of the prize."

"That's how I like it."

A penny. She's gonna give you a penny.

"She's not getting a penny."

XD

"GOLDEN, I CAN HEAR YOU, AND I CONSTANTLY DISOBEY YOU. You proud of yourself for making Grett broke now?"

"Fiore! We have to work together to slow Ellie down."

Oh, are they sabotaging Ellie?

"I know. She's the most athletic out of us."

I didn't think they'd STILL be working together.

"Keep your enemies closer" I guess.

Plus I did give Miriam a slay pass on Ellie, so...

"A lot has happened since you left..."

"Ever since you left, I worked WITH the people who stabbed you in the back to destroy my friend's relationship! And I gave him death threats!"

"Oh... is that the Ellie I know...?"

"It has been rough. No lie. But let's focus on the positive."

Okay so I guess Gabby isn't gonna have any feelings about it.

"I'm going for the key! Wait for me!"

*Gets a body wash ad*

Ellie the lake is not a bath.

"I don't know how to swim."

"Me neither."

Well you're both screwed then.

Goodbye Fiore.

"Tom, can you go get the keys for both of them?"

Why? Why help her?

Imagine Tom saying he can't swim either XD

"I missed the swimming part of spy school. So uh... yeah I think we're all screwed."

OH THERE YOU GO GRETT

That's one way to slow her down!

"If you do that to Ellie again, I'm going to use that key to gouge your eyes out and shove it down your throat!"

*CHOKES ON BREATH*

OH MY GOD

SHOTS ARE FIRED

"Well Tom, how are things with Jake?"

"What do you think? I hate him now! He fell for someone gaslighting him! That's completely his fault!"

"We haven't talked. I'm still a bit upset about what happened."

A BIT?

"You have every right to be. But I think you'll feel better if you both just listen to each other. Don't let it end on a bitter note."

Awww.

I don't know if Tom will do that, though?

Are they gonna make up?

Please?

"What would I gain from that?"

"Better to have no regrets Not talking to him and never seeing him again after this could leave you feeling terrible about this entire experience."

I mean, I do agree with Miriam, but...

Are they gonna be on good terms at the end? I don't know.

"I know you two are both good people. Trust me as woman who's had many regrets in her long life, if you have an opportunity to change things, you should take it."

👏

"We're in a million dollar challenge! Run more, talk less!"

XD

She's right though XD

Oh you're a bitch.

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE EXPECT?! WHY DID YOU HELP HER?!

*talking about her plan*

Um, MIRIAM AND TOM ARE IN HEARING RANGE, RIGHT?!

AND THEY CAN SEE YOU WITH THEIR MAP

"The one Grett's holding is Miriams."

"Do you think they'll penalize you for that?"

TOM.

TOM. OMG.

YOU PUT THE MAP IN YOUR POCKET, RIGHT?!?!

WHY ARE YOU NOT QUESTIONING WHY GRETT HAS YOUR MAP?!?!?

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

"How many times is everyone going to fall for Fiore and Grett's tricks?!"

THANK YOU. THANK YOU DAN.

TO THINK I DISSED YOU.

"Apparently we haven't learned our darn lesson yet..."

MULTIPLE TIMES, AND IT'S SO STUPID.

"How many times we gotta teach you this lesson, old lady?"

"Wait, why are Gabby and Ellie running in the opposite direction?"

OH MY GOD.

Tom, you are a dumbass. NOW you realize?!

Oh yay, the demon child wins...

This is where Miriam goes.

YEAH THIS IS WHERE MIRIAM GOES

THEY'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT

AW, I'M SORRY MIRIAM. I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

"Tom... I... I can't go any..."

NO DON'T GIVE UP

"Wait... I need help!"

Wait what's happening?

"Oh... my heart..."

OH NO. WHAT?!??!

WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT?!?!

NO

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER?!??!?!

NO THAT'S SICK. OH MY GOD. NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

DON'T KILL HER OFF, I LOVE HER. NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO MIRIAM, NOOOOOOOO

CPR. DO CPR TOM. PLEASE.

"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

LADY, YOU THINK?!?!?! SHE'S DYING.

"I can smell that million bucks calling to me."

OH

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD WHAT

😲

I... I...

*AnalyzGolden.exe has stopped working*

...

... ... ...

So... let me get this straight...

She FAKED A HEART ATTACK TO WIN?!

... ... ...

😂👏

OMG THAT GOT ME

OMG MIRIAM YOU ARE INSANE

AND ELLIE'S OUT

😂👏

You KNOW this was done as revenge for Tom and Jake

KARMA IS A BITCH, ELLIE!!!!!!

Miriam used the slay pass! SHE ACTUALLY USED IT. I HAVE HER SLAY PASS AND SHE USED IT.

😂👏

THAT WAS SO GOOD

"What the hell was that?! After everything that has happened in this game, I lose a chance of fixing my life because of THAT?!"

I want to feel bad for Ellie, but I just DON'T.

OH MY GOD...

*struggling to calm down*

Continued In Part 2>>