#like not to be a fucking cop but maybe we don't have to follow every single idea to its most extreme logical conclusion

[mostlygibberish]

I'm beginning to think I should just stop trying to watch slasher movies.

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ Double Dealing — BAD GIRLS (LN4)

Lando gets tangled up with you. He wouldn't have it any other way, even when Carlos maybe threatens to break his spine for it.

notes: make-out scene and sexual innuendos, thats rlly it. car races ig?

Lando should've known better. This was the one fucking thing everyone told him not to do years ago. Years. There was a rule in the circuits, not the Formula circuits but rather the street ones. Never ever under any circumstances flirt with Carlos’ baby sister who helped Fernando run the tracks.

But he thinks, personally, it’s better him than Charles who you’ve sought out tonight.

The cops call from Yuki had been a shock, there hadn’t been a call in months. When the guy had stood, shouting it to the world, you'd been in the middle of collecting a bet from him and he hadn't though twice before shoving you in his car and telling you to buckle up while he roared the beast to life.

Now you both are flying down some Florida back road, the warm wind whipping through the car as you try again to call your brother and then break into a bunch of angry Spanish curses as the call fails yet again.

"Relax," Lando reaches his hand across the console of his Honda S2000 to squeeze your knee briefly for comfort, "You told him I've got you, right?"

"Yes, but how do I know he made it out?!" You groan, slinking down in your seat and Lando for once doesn't have an answer for that. His car squeals as he breaks it onto the main street, it bounces a little, a spark here or there from something hitting a curb but Lando doesn't stop. He doesn't plan on it anytime soon.

He sees Alex's car ahead, swerving into another exit, and into a neighborhood. He doesn't think twice before following, knowing if anyone had the route to the rendezvous memorized it would be Logan, who Alex is clearly tailing with Oscar, George, and he thinks Max.

As they pass through the neighborhood, Alex's passenger waves a signal out of the window--scatter, and everyone listens. Turning down winding roads, Lando sticks behind Oscar for two turns before he turns down another side street to exit back out onto the highway. Placing some distance between him and the rest of the group momentarily.

But you end up at a dead end cul-de-sac, a basketball hoop in the court next to thick tree coverage. Lando kills the car and parks it there, the headlights dying slowly in the night.

"What are you doing?" You look at him, same dark eyes and thick hair as your brother and Lando's almost certain he's going to lose him composure in a moment.

"Laying low," he replies and you nod, trying to call Carlos again, but the line rings out until it dies. You're obviously noy happy about it, but theres not much you can do for now, so Lando just sits on his phone quietly for a moment.

"Carlos is smart," Lando starts, "and we have the favor of the Miami police, so I think he'll be fine."

You look over and sigh, "I know, but getting a call like that even with a favor is dangerous. What if they don't listen."

"Well," Lando leans back in his seat, mischeviously smiling at you, "We have plenty of money between us for bribes and bail outs."

You can't help the smirk that pokes at your lips before you let out a laugh, slinking down in the seat and groaning, "Él es un idiota, Carlos is. But he'll be fine."

Hearing the bit of Spanish off your lips makes Lando's heart pound in his chest. Somehow it's different from every other time he's heard spanish. He assumes its because its you... but god he wants to hear it again so badly.

Which he does, when you curse at the sound of police sirens closing in.

"Fuck," Lando sits up, and sure enough there's a cop coming this way. He freezes, mind going completely blank. Which, he tinks to himself, is so stupid. He can drive his car at hundreds of miles an hour, but not think of a quick way out of this situation that wouldn't lead to a police chase?

But then, you move, grabbing his arm for leverage and rolling yourself to sit partially on his lap.

"Woah!" Lando yelps, hands flying down to your waist to steady you and your hands find his jaw.

"Kiss me!"

"What?!"

"Just--Lando good fucking god, kiss me so the cop thinks we pulled over to fuck instead of being street racers!" You grab his cheeks and yank his flushed face up to you. Lando blinks. This has to be some sort of dream, right? He had to of crashed and this was some sort of comatose dream. But he leans in anyways, despite it maybe being a dream, and connects your lips.

There's a brief hesitance, before you push back, and Lando's hands find their grip on your hips tight. You shift a little, one arm snaking around Lando's shoulder, the other holding the base of his throat at you both just sort of lose yourselves for a moment. Breaths hot and heavy as the siren quiets, the lights dimming down, but you don't notice that because your mind focuses on the way one of Lando's hands slides to grip at your thigh.

The kiss is hot and heavy, hands roaming far farther than they should for some quick way out of a night in jail--until something taps the drivers window.

You jump, nearly biting Lando's lip, and he jerks his head to the side to see a cop shining a flashlight into the window. Slowly, you sldie back over to your seat while Lando fumbles for the door controls and rolls down the window.

"Good evening." The officer looks between you two, "Just... enjoying the night out here? The solitude?"

"Yes sir," Lando says, "Do you need to see my license and all that?"

The cop looks more amused than anything. He's a younger guy, and he peeks inside the car to see nothing more than what he assumes to be two other young adults trying to have a little quickie.

"Nah," He waves a hand, "Though I'd suggest maybe not tearing down a neighborhood road to a dead end next time you need a bit of relief."

Lando's face flushes and he nods, "Right. Noted."

The cop laughs, tapping the door twice with a smirk as he walks away, "Be safe out there tonight. Maybe get some new rubbers if you know what I mean."

You cover your mouth to keep from laughing as Lando rolls up his window, and as he looks at you in embarrassment you can't help but burst into giggles as the window 'thunks' as it closes.

"I cannot believe that worked." You whisper, and then you both burst into laughter as the cop pulls away. There's a quiet moment when the laughter dies down, and you look over at Lando and really look at him. Scanning him up and down... before you notice a bit of a situation he's got. Smirking, your hand finds his thigh as you shift to lean in, lips brushing his cheek.

"Need a little help?" You blink at him and Lando's gone. Screw all the things everyone's ever said, and screw if Carlos wants to kill him later.

But... "Maybe lets find a new spot first."

Lando tries not to think about how your laugh only makes him more hot and bothered.

general tag list

@d3kstar @justalittlejess @tvdtw4ever @llando4norris @daemyratwst @piastri-fvx @sltwins @armystay89 @leclercdream

double dealing tag list

@colmathgames2 @sialexia

[evilminji]

...Wait. ACTUALLY???

The Portal is basically a doorway right? Big ol solid and sustained gateway from Realm A to Universe B? Unlike the brief blips of natural portals?

As IN... a Ring could therefore, theoretically, send out it's Search For Willpower. EXE vibes? Hit the portal -> go THROUGH the portal -> and continue expanding as the search continued until it hit a Confirmed Match(tm)?

You know... somebody INCREDIBLY SUPER LIKELY to match? Like... say... a Dead Green Lantern who? Had the WILL to continue on as a Ghost? Probably would get priority over any untested "new" Lantern candidates? Since they are somehow both in the system and not?

Recognized, yet a different species somehow?

The Rings records mark them deceased. Yet here they are, without a Ring. Which they OBVIOUSLY need, as Lanterns. Because once a Lantern, always a Lantern. Nyooom~ off it goes.

Off? Probably a whole SHIT TON of them go. Like? A truely, TRUELY alarming amount.

Think hundreds of thousands, suddenly wrenching themselves free of their stands and SHOOTING into the sky. Yes, a few at a time is normal. Day in, day out. Hundreds a day.

Not upwards of millions.

Not all at once.

A SEA of green orbs shooting up into the night sky like shooting stars. So many it chokes the sky. Drives everything to a stand still. All of them going the same direction. Some... EVENT... has just happened and no one knows what it is.

You have no choice but to follow them. Figure out where they are going and what's DRAWING them. You fly for weeks. Take shifts, following them. Alarm countless innocent people and more then a few governments.

It's....? Earth? Fuck. Of COURSE it had to be that God forsaken rock. EVERYTHING seems to come from there! Do you have ANY IDEA how many Lanterns they have stationed there by now? Multiple times the amount ENTIRE QUADRENTS usually take.

Why is it ALWAYS that planet?? Someone call Hal and his merry band of migraines. They're coming in hot. And NO, we CANT stop them. Don't bother asking. We ALSO have no idea where they're headed.

Think about being in Amity. Quiet day for once. You don't trust it. Something gonna happen, you can FEEL it.

A ring shoots past you. Then another. And another. Then dozens. Hundreds. THOUSANDS. Green, glowing, and like they were shot from a gun. The sky hailing ghost jewelry because God hate Amity specifically, apparently, and FUCK your premiums. You dive for your car.

Watch, baffled, at the Fenton house is SWARMED. The local crack pots are trying to shoot at RINGS. Failing to hit a single one. The swarm organized, writhing, and gracefully ALIVE somehow.

Aliens shoot past your car. They're wearing LANTERN get ups. Fighting the local crackpots. The sky is FULL of Lanterns now. Oh god, first Ghosts, now Aliens. Your mother was right. You SHOULD have stayed in Ohio with her sister.

The Rings break the Fenton's door down. The clattering is CACOPHONOUS as they push and shove to race inside. You watch the doorway. Some instinct telling you not to look away. Even as Lanterns and crazy people are shooting at each other not yards away.

Watch. The. Door.

Ghosts come back out. ALIEN Ghosts. Wearing LANTERN rings. Your jaw drops as they just... just KEEP coming. Every last one of them wearing a ring. You struggle to remember how many there WERE. As the sky turns GREEN. As Amity truely DOES become the most haunted place... anywhere.

You're pretty sure in the oceans of GREEN you spot the Justice League. You DEFINITELY spot Phantom. Thank god. No Spooks ever get away with shady nonsense on HIS watch, so whatever happening? 'S gonna get sorted.

And JUST? As you think... maybe, JUST maybe... you could just? Inch your car into drive, and sloooowly get the fuck out of whatever THIS mess it? Those white suited crazy people from the Feds show up and start trying to ARREST the SPACE COPS. For not letting them take unprovoked attacks on OTHER Space Cops!

Oh Shit(tm).

@hdgnj @ailithnight @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes

[faux-big-bro]

(For the people who follow me for leftist-adjacent smut-adjacent philosophical stuff: ACAB also includes the cop inside your brain, because fuck that guy, he over-analyzes every single thing and he sucks at it, you don't have to rationalize a thirst follow back to him, sometimes you can just say "You follow my niche smut blog and have great tits, I'd like to see them on my dashboard again soon without relying on the vagaries of fate and my followers.)

(For the people who follow me for sorta disaster queer bestie vibes: holy shit, I didn't even notice until I was brushing my teeth, but my ponytail is just ridiculously bouncy right now? Where are these waves coming from? Oh my god, bitch, this is a thing? Wait, okay, is there anyone else who follows me for these vibes other than J? I feel like there might be a couple others, or maybe a couple of you are just like witchy millennials and I read that as here for the queer bestie vibe thing? Anyway.)

{For the people who follow me for intox kink: Take a blinker and hold it.)

(For the people who follow me for degradation. jesus christ, why would you fucking do that? That's disgusting. I don't think anyone could be this pathetic on accident, but maybe you're establishing new fucking lows. Fuck's sake, are you just a dumb little bitch?)(Enjoy that one, degradees.)

(For the people who follow me for intox kink: I didn't say to let it out. Look, you're gonna have to try again. Take a blinker and hold it.)

(For the people who follow me for babimhypnosib: I respect you and we should probably be on a watch list for this.)

(For the people who follow me for fauxcest, you should be swallowing your big brother's cock right now, kid, and you better make me cum down your throat before you even think about cumming grinding on my boot.)

(For the people who follow me for intox kink: No, no, no, hold it, I'm focused on this before I let you release the breath, just do the alphabet in your head as fast as you can, no, no, like each letter separately though- oh, kid! Okay, okay, you almost had it there. Third time, you can get it, so you're gonna try again. Take a blinker and hold it.)

(For everyone following me: Drink some water. If you want to substitute another liquid, it can't have caffeine. Deal with it, sweetheart. You'll earn a gold star if you follow the rules.)

(For the porn star who follows me for intox kink: You're almost high enough. One more blinker. Hold it as long as you can. Just let it out if you have to, I'm timing it. Oh, okay, good start. Now we're going to do a blinker again. We'll get several and average the times. So it's scientific. Don't worry, just don't think.)

(For the porn star who follows me for intox kink: You're almost high enough. One more BLINKER. Hold it as long as you can. And repeat this all again. And again. Repeat those repetitions, too. Mindless time for you. You've earned it.)

(For the people who follow me for the weirdly unhinged swings in the tone of my posts: Enjoy this one, y'all are weirdos. 🖤🖤)

(Porn star, Tongue out, show me your tits. Do you need another hit? If you thought about it, you're not dumb enough. Show me your cunt.. And Repeat this post until you're too dumb to read. )

[miss-vanta-likes-to-write]

Love on the brain

Ch 2.

Series Master list

CW: check the main master list for warnings.

It has been three days since the fight you had with your husband. During that time, the police interviewed you, asking if you would like to press charges. You were on the fence but, in the end, decided not to go through with it. There was an inkling of hope that him having the cops called with the threat of ruining his career would be enough to get that damn divorce and from there you'd figure it the fuck out. The clinic had given you information on domestic violence and different hot lines to call for help. There was the option of going to a women's shelter but you weren't going to put your children through that indignity. All three of them have had enough of that.

Kenny's mother had come by the house on day two. She had with her a roast and a sorry apology on behalf of her son. The woman was detestable, who could raise a man so cruel and then say “Maybe if you did your wifely duties right, he wouldn't act this way.” After she said that Kenny would stay at her house and that she would bring the pastor and him by so everyone could come to Jesus.

It had taken every ounce of your being not to swing on her. If you stayed, you were sure you'd be meeting Jesus face to face, so that he could ask you “Child, why didn't you take the boat we sent you?”.

At the same time, though, you knew you were in a rock and a hard place. You and your children were immigrants. You were a stay at home mom, which in hindsight was stupid. Until you knew for certain how you were going to house and feed your kids, you were stuck because money was a thing, and children couldn't live off of hope and love.

“Mom!” Jabari came running into the kitchen, he was out of breath and had a big fat grin on his face. “Mr Price is at the door!”

You stopped chopping the celery for dinner and wiped your hands on your apron. John Price had been nice enough to come to you and your family's rescue three days ago, and you felt bad that you didn't have the time to thank him. You peaked out the back door window to check on the girls, both of them happily playing with dolls together. Jada was busy trying to explain to Jayla the little storyline that was being played out, and Jayla was only too happy to just be included. After making sure they were okay, you followed the sounds of Jabari excitedly chattering away by the door.

“Actually Mr.Price, I'm like the best when it comes to rugby. It's sorta like football except without the padding!” Jabari laughed.

“You play football?” John had asked.

“The American football, sir.” He answered, “but honestly, I'll play any sport as long as it has a ball. I tried to get mom to let me play hockey once, but she said her pockets could only take so much.”

“Jabari, don't have this man thinking we're poor.” You scold as you scruff him by the neck. Your voice doesn't match the scolding, though. You sound absolutely smitten by your son and how he's in a good mood again. The last three days, he's been hovering around you and his sisters and insisting that you all should sleep in the same bed. He only wiggles out of your grip and laughs.

“Run along so the adults can talk.” You tell him.

“But mom” He whines loudly, holding onto your arm.

“Listen soldier,” John smiles at him, “how about you give me and your mum a few minutes and after I'll get the guys to play a game with you, your choice.”

Jabari doesn't need to be told twice, and he is dashing off to his room, saying that he is gonna teach the Brits about real football. You only laugh and shake your head before turning to John. Your body feels warm from embarrassment, which is more like shame, to be honest. Shame that he had seen you and your children at your lowest, and that was his first time meeting you.

“Uhm…” You search for the words, the right words that convey how thankful you are. “Listen, thank you for-.”

He stops you before any more words could be said, “You don't need to thank me for doing the right thing, miss.” His eyes, so pretty and blue and surprisingly warm. When was the last time you even had someone look at you with such warmth and understanding?

You can't bear to hold his gaze any longer, and you look away. “John, I have to pay you and your friends back for intervening. It would make me feel okay.”

He doesn't say anything else and just hums once. “Is he coming back?”

You don't say anything and cross your arms around your stomach. You want the ground to open up and swallow you whole. When the silence is loud and clear, you expect judgment. Instead, he just hums in thought again.

“I never got your name miss.” He says.

“It's Imani.” You finally look back at him. He's now leaning against the frame of the doorway, a thoughtful look on him. John nods his head once and smiles. There's still no judgment.

“Well, I want to leave you my number and the boys’ number so you can call us no matter what.” He's already pulling out his phone.

“Oh, John, I couldn't-” You're shocked, that's for sure.

“No choice, Miss.” He is firm on this decision, and somehow that makes you flustered. “I already spoke to the guys, and we very much want to make sure you and the kids are safe, at least until the bloke is handled for good.” His voice drops low at the mention of your husband.

You don't say anything else as you pull your old little phone out from your apron pocket and let him input his number and his roommates numbers into your phone. He then gets your number just as Jabari comes running back to the front door. He's got his football, and he's pulling on John's hand to take him to the backyard.

“Come on Mr.Price!” Jabari is insistent, “we just gotta make sure we stay out of Jada and Jayla's play party. The girls get testy when you bother them.” He laughed.

“Sure thing, soldier, just let me call the guys over, and we can get to it.” He looks to you asking for permission.

You only nod with a smile, “I don't mind, stay out of my flower beds…” you bite your lip between your teeth, deciding to take a risk, “We're having chicken and dumplings tonight, you all can stay over for dinner.”

John is clearly surprised, but Jabari is already answering for him. “Yeah, Mr. Price and his friends would love to stay!”

“Jabari.” You warn, but your son is already pulling John along to the back kitchen door.

As soon as the two of them were outside, your son could be heard yelling over the fence. “Don't worry about the front door, Mr.Johnny, just hop the fence!”

“I hope that boy doesn't make it a habit of hopping the fence.” You mumble and get back to working on dinner.

When dinner comes, your dining room table has the leaf put in, and four extra chairs pulled up. Each one of the very solid men at the table is covered in grass stains and is laughing (well ¾) with your children about the impromptu football game.

“You really are quick on your feet.” Kyle says to Jabari, “you must be a right terror on the field.”

“Jabari is quick because mom says that he got his speed from out running Nana's switch.” Jada is busy sitting her doll in Simon's lap, ignoring her brother's squawks of protest, “you two have to share a seat since that's where Anni normally sits.”

Simon, to his credit, takes it all in stride and only grunts in agreement. He isn't wearing the skull mask from before, just a plain black one. It's ridiculous really, seeing him hold the raggedy Anne doll so politely.

“So Imani lass, ya’ve been here for a few months, ya likin’ it's far?” Johnny (who, for some reason, Jabari has been allowed to call Soap).

You bring out the large pot as he's asking this and set it down on the table, “I like it so far, but doing any type of conversion for temperature, shopping and my personal enemy asking for tea and getting hot tea and not cold has been an adjustment.”

Kyle raises an eyebrow, “Cold tea?” There's a look of something on his face. It's the same look you get from Kenny's mother when you put ice in a cup and poor hot sugary tea over it.

By this time, Jabari had brought out the two pitchers of iced tea and set them on the table. “Well duh, how else are you supposed to drink tea?”

“Manners love.” You pinch your brows together, “don't forget he's still an adult.”

“Yes ma'am.” He says and takes his spot right between Johnny and Kyle.

“Kid's alright.” Kyle laughs, “I forgot for a moment that Americans do tea differently.”

You smile and avoid eye contact with him, “The fact that we are having chicken and dumplings with corn muffins should say everything about my thoughts on hot tea versus cold tea.”

“Daddy says when you make tea, mommy, it's enough to give a man diabetes.” Jada pipes up again.

“Sugar in a cup.” Jayla whispers, it's so quiet she giggles.

Everyone is laughing at your exasperated sigh and look that you give your daughters. The cultural differences are cute and funny, and as you look around your table, there comes a sense of peace. It feels for a moment that this is a normal family dinner with which the neighbors just happened to stop by. All the fellas got along just well learning touch football and in a hilarious turn of events Simon was the one roped into the game of tea party.

You're sad that this isn't your reality.

“You all have a good night, and don't hesitate to call if you need anything.” John said as he and his boys left the house. He was pleasantly surprised when Jabari was asking if they could play again soon, and the next time, they would play soccer.

“Aye, it's called football ya wee terror.” Soap had ruffled his hair.

“Well you're on American soil when you're at our house, and we call it soccer!” He ducked from under the man's hand. He was all smiles.

You shook your head and looked back at John, “I will, and thanks again for everything. Jada let Mr. Simon go so he can go home, I don't think he wants to babysit Anni, so you can have me time tonight.”

Poor Simon was bogged down with a pink backpack, a baby's bottle, and a pink stroller. Jada crossed her arms and stared up at you, “But Mr. John just said we could call them! You get me time every time Daddy leaves, why can't I?”

“Okay! Enough talking young ma'am, in the house!” You laugh nervously. You can feel the tension and shame creeping up your spine, but mercifully, none of the men comment on the mention of ‘me time’. After you send your son and daughter into the house, the only one clinging to you is Jayla. Her big wide brown eyes are staring up at John and flickering between him, Johnny, Kyle, and Simon. She waves shyly before darting back into the house.

“I don' mind keeping her doll for the night.” it's the first time that Simon has spoken all evening. You are taken back by both his accent and how deep his voice is.

“Really you-” you begin to say, but he's already taking the doll and all of the doll's things across the lawn. Johnny is cackling, and Kyle is just pinching the bridge of his nose. They both bid you goodnight. John gives you one last lingering smile and a nod.

“Get some rest tonight.” His voice is warm, and it's sweet like the tea that he politely drank at dinner without complaint. They all didn't complain about the dinner and rather enjoyed it quite a bit. It was a far cry from how your husband often critiqued (if calling some of the nastiest things said about your cooking can be called as such).

You watch until John is in his house across the lawn. The fantasy is over and you're hoping to enter that dream-like world again.

“Lass can cook. A shame she cooks fora bastard.” Soap says as he plops down on the couch. “Her weans are ‘dorable though.”

“Jabari can sure dish out a hit.” Kyle sat on the couch next to Soap and put his head in his lap, “that last tackle may have given me a bruise.”

John quietly listens to the guys as they talk about you. There's a thoughtful look on his face as he watches Simon carefully put the doll and its things on the armchair.

Simon looks at him just as he is taking off his mask. “Something on your mind?”

“She isn't leaving him anytime soon.” John goes into the kitchen.

“After he almost tried to kill her three days ago, she isn't leaving?” Kyle seems incredulous.

“It's not that simple.” Simon explains, “She's a foreigner with children, in a strange country, and she is a stay at home mum who depends on her husband's income. She can't leave unless she knows for sure her children will be safe.” Part of Simon feels ill with first hand knowledge of that reality.

It's quiet between the four of them, John speaks first, “We'll just have to help her.” He is ready thinking about how this will all play out if done right. If you're gonna be tied to anybody in a foreign country, it may as well be him and his boyfriends.

You don't know it yet, but the four of them are getting you out safely. And you're going to be safe in their arms.

Chapter 3

Tag list: @leahnicole1219 @uraeus56

[thewinterpoet2]

ROXANNE

Jake Peralta x Reader

In which the reader is a secret vocalist outside of work as a detective in the 99th precinct, Jake becomes suspicious which leads to feelings rising to the surface.

WARNINGS: Swearing, themes of crime, theft, interrogation.

Word count: 15,654

Y/N~ Your Name

L/N~ Last Name

The first time Jake started to become suspicious of Y/N was on a random Thursday in December.

It was nearing Christmas which meant crime in Brooklyn had reached a new level of stupid, leading every Detective and Beat Cop to internally curse every black Friday sale to hell for eternity.

The squad of the 99th Precinct tended to be divided around the holidays, Boyle sprung into action, in true Boyle fashion, buying ridiculously expensive gifts for, well, everyone.

Santiago spent countless hours writing Christmas cards, and for the fifth year in a row, apologised incessantly to an exhausted UPS driver as she reluctantly returned all her holiday gifts for Captain Holt.

Gina loved Christmas and celebrated, to some, in what would be a very unusual way. But in her defence, setting up a PO box for her fans, meant she could have a very cheap Christmas. Thrifty and entrepreneurial, that's Gina.

Whereas, some members of the squad weren't as keen on Christmas. We know how Jake feels about Thanksgiving and with no suprise, this translates to his views around Christmas, too.

Rosa Diaz, although she hides it very well, spends Christmas with her family every year. Now her sexuality was out in the open, the healing her family went through have led, thankfully, to a much closer relationship. Rosa would never say this out loud, but knowing that they're fighting in her corner, is the best gift she could have ever asked for.

Oh, but if you asked she'd definitely tell you to "Mind your own fucking business before I get involved in yours" and according to her, "you definitely don't want that, do you?"

Jake Peralta was a great detective but a tricky human being. To put it bluntly, Jake hated Christmas. He hated carols, trees, "little scary elves that show up everywhere", and most of all, romcoms. Jake despised hallmark romance films. Was it because he was single for the 8th Christmas in a row? Who could tell, but he'd certainly deny it if anyone had the courage to ask.

Y/N, was definitely the wildcard out of the squad, especially when it came to the holidays. She'd told every detective the same bullshit tale of how she was going back to England to see her family for the holidays, how her least favourite gift is socks, how more than anything she hates carolling. Because, jesus, no one wants to hear her sing!

Detective L/N was a liar, for many reasons. Yes she was from England but she actually didn't mind socks and the biggest lie of all, maybe she'd convinced the detectives they wouldn't want to hear her sing... But her bandmates and their followers definitely did.

See, Y/N wasn't just a Detective, she was a trained singer, performer and songwriter. After work she tended to dodge Shaw's to head to band practice or straight to a gig, not that anyone had figured that out of course.

Not yet anyway.

Tne first time Jake became suspicious of Y/N was on a random Thursday in December.

Jake and Y/N were in the middle of interrogating a perp, nothing too gruesome or inhumane, a couple counts of petty theft and something that would hopefully have led to a new lead about a future bank heist.

William Dobson was his name.

"Why do all these perps have such boring names, why isn't he called Franco Goldminer"

Peralta turned around, slamming an evidence file onto the nearest desk. Y/N looked unamused at the topic of conversation but not surprised, it was Jake after all.

"Because I'm pretty sure 'Franco Goldminer' is A) too obvious for a criminal B) kind of ironic and C) sounds like an idiot that still lives with his mum in his 30s"

Jake's eyes twinkled at her quick and easy retort, not that she'd have seen that of course.

"Nah I stand by it, he's got a dumb name"

Scoffing Y/N stopped reading the provided statement, sighing in conclusion, rubbing her face with her hands,

"So we've got nothing, Jesus."

Peralta let out a sigh of annoyance,

"L/N why don't you go talk to him, I'll watch and see if he opens up to you"

Giving a cheeky grin he continued,

"I would say you could try annoy him into talking but you basically do that anyway"

Slapping his shoulder Y/N walked straight back into interrogation, ignoring his laughter trailing behind her.

William looks up at Y/N, recognition dawning on his face.

Fuck, this wasn't good.

"So Dobson, recount the night of the 16th for me again, seems some details don't match up from the tapes-"

Mid sentence you're cut off,

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

Y/N made a sound of aggravation at being cut off

"Small world, lots of people. Anyway the footage shows a different time to the one you claim you-"

"Roxanne on 5th right?"

Shit, shit, SHIT. Y/N's blood ran cold at the name of the club she performs at, it's nice to meet fans, just not in the middle of an interrogation.

Fuck she had to play this off cool, nochelant, like nothing happened.

"I don't care about your personal life Dobson, you're here because you're a criminal. Distraction techniques won't work with me, I don't recall being your best friend, Sir"

Awesome she thought, professional and managed to get an insult in at the same time.

"aren't you in that ba-"

Slamming her file onto the table

"Jesus give it a rest you don't know me"

Y/N's voice came out high pitched, aggravated and very, well, unlike her. This was enough to peek Peralta's interest from behind the glass, this wasn't the Y/N he knew, his coworker who hated anything boring but rarely took risks.

Hands up in defeat, Dobson backs down and the interrogation continues as it was before, absolutely useless.

What Y/N didn't know is Peralta was on the other side of the glass, a puzzled expression on his face;

This was the day Jake Peralta made it his mission to investigate further.

"Who are you Y/N?" He mumbled.

A few weeks later, Jake stopped going to Shaws with the squad.

This in itself was confusing for his fellow detectives, Boyle was practically heartbroken thinking that he'd done something to scare his best friend off.

This led to Boyle doing everything he could to try and entice Jake to their bar, regardless of how weird it was.

Boyle is Boyle, he's very extra, but he's got such a big heart and that's all that mattered to Jake.

However, Charles' interference was only causing Jake more stress, his plan needed to be a secret to be able to make this work.

It was a Friday night, the day before New Year's Eve. Y/N had requested annual leave tomorrow, something that was rarely granted on holiday's (thanks again New York) Jake managed to find this much out from a single conversation with Gina, oh, and because the holiday schedule was on a public server but that seemed too easy.

If he wasn't suspicious before, he definitely was now, something was in the water and he simply had to know what was going on.

It's not like Jake was OBSESSED with Y/N, he just wanted to know her on a more personal level and she made that incredibly difficult.

"I like to keep myself to myself, work is work, home is home. Keep them separate"

Her beautiful voice repeated the devastating series of words more times than he'd have liked to have heard them. Never. None. No thanks.

He'd invited her to Shaw's so many times he'd lost count, he'd asked if she wanted to watch Die Hard at his apartment, he'd even asked if he could do more overtime so he could spend more time with her. In the 6 years he'd worked with her he'd made absolutely zero progress, it's hard to fancy someone that doesn't acknowledge your existence.

Jake thinks Y/N is perfect.

Plain and simple.

Starring at her, lost in thought. He thinks about her eyes, how he wishes one day she'd look at him with the same love and happiness he looked at her with. He wonders what their kids would look like, okay Jake that's a bit far you're sounding a bit like Charles, he internally scolds himself.

"JAKE" Y/N snapped her fingers to get his attention, a look that can only be described as concern adorning her features.

"Huh? Oh yes, yes. I agree, yes let's do that. Whatever it was you said" He rambled at the speed of light, pretending to have acknowledged the last 20 mins that don't exist in his mind.

A smirk grew on Y/N's face, something he barely saw but made him feel like the room just got 20 times hotter.

"Oh so you were listening, yeah? Fabulous, so we can go ahead and schedule the hip replacement..."

Jake's eyes grew wide, babbling out some incoherent nonsense he managed to find two words; "HIP REPLACEMENT?"

Y/N couldn't hold back anymore and cried with laughter, barely being able to form any words.

"I was talking to you about someone I booked using their need for a hip replacement as an excuse, I joked she could use yours" wiping away tears, Y/N's laughter dies down seeing his daze and confusion.

"Are you okay, Jake?" Starring him down, he does what he does best, panics.

"I have to go" Jake stands up bolts out the room at top speed, leaving a very concerned Y/N.

Y/N has always liked Jake, he's bubbly, silly, but cares so much about everyone in his life, he'd go above and beyond for anyone and that's something you can't buy. She has wanted to let him into her personal life for a while but mixing personal and professional has never worked in her favour so she stops herself from letting things get weird and complicated again. Life is as complicated as she makes it after all.

Tomorrow Y/N's band were performing at Roxanne again for their NYE party, she was debuting the title song of their new cover album. Y/N has always been such a huge Fleetwood Mac fan, so "Go Your Own Way" definitely made the cut, providing, Jamie and Simon (her bandmates) were okay with that of course. She was excited, finally time to let her hair down and shed any stress from work.

Jake, after running out at top speed, took to his phone, made a few calls and booked a table tomorrow night for nine people.

At Roxanne.

Jake, Charles, Rosa, Amy, Terry, Captain Holt, Gina, Sully and Hitchcock.

And Y/N had no idea.

Well, neither did anyone other than Jake. This was going to be interesting.

The morning of NYE came and Y/N was ecstatic, eating breakfast at lighting speed, grabbing a coffee, brushing her teeth and then heading to the subway, felt like seconds. You know what they say, time flies when you're having fun.

Y/N arrived at Roxanne at just gone 1pm and immediately hugged Jamie who gave a huge grin seeing her arrival.

"Hi baby! Don't you look a treat, you excited for later?"

Blushing and hitting his shoulder Y/N laughed at his brash complimenting.

"Yeah, yeah, save it Jame, where's your boyfriend? He better not be hiding, we're fucked without him"

"Right here gorgeous"

Y/N jumped and let out a sharp gasp seeing him right behind her.

"Don't scare me like that, dick!"

Laughing he pulled her into a hug.

"Ready to blow the world away with your pipes tonight angel?"

Laughing gently she said "As ready as I'll ever be, right let's practice idiots. Then we can grab some food before we have to change"

Y/N had her mind free from work and Jake, but for Jake, well that was another story.

To Jake this was a stakeout, he had no idea whether he'd find a Mafia organisation or nothing at all. He phoned up Roxanne to ask about the event but all they said was to "Check the damn website, it's not 1942 anymore" and the website hadn't been updated in months.

Jake was terrified.

An afternoon turned into the evening and soon Y/N was slipping on a red sequined dress, black knee high boots, two lace black gloves, smokey, dark makeup and her hair was in curls, ready to take to the stage.

Roxanne was bustling already and it had only just gone 8, she was on in 30 mins and this was their moment.

Warmed up and excited, adrenaline coursing through her veins, she jumped up and down to hype herself up, she had got this.

Jake on the other hand, was only just getting ready, nothing too extravagant just a classic shirt, no tie and a jacket, but a clean jacket so it counts, right? The table was booked for 9 and he had no idea what was going to happen or what would be uncovered.

5 minutes to their opening call, Jamie, Simon and Y/N were all hugging and hyping up each other, knowing this was going to be the performance of a lifetime.

The crowd are cheering already, the bar is stacked and there's no space in the room, the floor is filled to the brim full of people and the only remaining space is one singular table on the balcony of the club, a reserved sign sitting neatly in the center.

"LADIES, THEYDIES AND GENTLEMEN, TONIGHT WE TAKE YOU INTO THE NEW YEAR IN STYLE, YOU KNOW THEM, YOU LOVE THEM, IT'S 'CRIME ME A RIVER"

Running out onto the stage, the heat from the stage lights hit Y/N and then everything changed, her body felt warm and she'd never felt more comfortable. The first notes started of Go Your Own Way and she took a breath then started to sing.

Loving you

Isn't the right thing to do

How can I ever change things

That I feel?

The crowd scream at the sound of her voice, the sweet melody carrying through the entire club, out the doors, into the night.

If I could

Baby, I'd give you my world

How can I

When you won't take it from me?

Y/N can't help but think about Jake as she sings, music really is true to the heart and god what her heart wants more than anything is him.

You can go your own way

Go your own way

You can call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

Go your own way

Jake and the squad pull up to the club, Terry already confused about why they're at such a random location on NYE when they could be at Shaws or "somewhere that doesn't look straight out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show"

Squeezing through the crowd blocking the entrance to the club, Jake heard Amy gasp.

"Oh my god, Jake"

"No fucking way" Rosa chimed in.

"This is unexpected" Gina remarked.

"Terry did not see this coming" Terry exclaimed.

Tell me why

Everything turned around

Packing up

Shacking up is all you want to do

Looking at his shocked colleagues, Jake followed their eyeline to the stage, seeing Y/N he unconsciously held his breath. She looked out of this world, so out of character from the person he shares a desk space with, but at the same time, she'd never looked more, her. His heart beating faster than the beat of the music, he turned to look at the squad once more, seeing Rosa's smirk, Amy's disbelief, Terry's enjoyment, Boyle squealing like a child at Jake's reaction.

"Oh Jakey, I knew you liked her, I knew it, I can't wait to be best man at your wedding" Charles then carried on monologuing but it all drowned out to Jake who only heard Y/N, oh boy, could she sing.

If I could

Baby, I'd give you my world

Open up

Everything's waiting for you

During this moment he imagined Y/N was singing directly to him, his heart fluttered and in that moment he knew he had to tell Y/N, he just had to. Or he'd explode.

You can go your own way

Go your own way

You can call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

Go your own way

All the squad started pushing past the crowd to try and get as near to the stage as possible, ignoring their table completely (well apart from Hitchcock and Scully) cheering, dancing and having a great time. Enjoying every second.

On the last note of Y/N's performance she took a breath and basked in the screaming of the crowd.

"THANK YOU! MY NAME IS Y/N AND WE'RE HERE SO YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME, DO WE WANT A GOOD TIME?"

Hearing a scream of "YES" she continued by saying "OKAY SO HERE'S OUR NEXT SONG, THIS ONE IS A BIT DIFFERENT, IT'S MORE OF A POWER BALLED, ARE WE READY?"

But before the first note could be sang Y/N made direct eye contact with Jake, who was fondly shaking his head in disbelief. She smiled widely and blushed a deep red.

She knew they'd talk after, and he did too. But for now she'd show how she loved him by showing him who she really was, Unapologetically and he loved nothing more.

AUTHORS NOTE: Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this fic, might do a part 2, if you want to be added to a taglist or if you want a part 2 full stop please let me know:) unedited so it's definitely not perfect haha. Enjoy!

#jakeperalta #jakeperaltaxreader #brooklyn99 #brooklyn99fanfic #brooklyn99jake #jake #jakeperalta #jacobperaltaxreader #xreader #charlesboyle #rosadiaz #amysantiago #captainholt #terryjeffords #ginalinetti #scully #hitchcock

[howlingday]

An Offer

Clover: (Walks in) ...You Jauney?

Jaune: Jaune Arc.

Clover: Specialist Ebi. (Sits)

Jaune: ...You alone?

Clover: I'm not that lucky. The only other badge you'd see in here is the health inspector.

Waitress: What can I get ya?

Clover: Just a coffee, thanks.

Waitress: (Pours coffee, Leaves)

Clover: (Pulls out flask) Need a kick?

Jaune: No thanks.

Clover: (Pours into mug) Suit yourself. (Stows) So... You said on the phone you might have a... proposition for me?

Jaune: That's right.

Clover: Well, if you're looking for another stoolie on your payroll, you called the wrong cop. I'm not looking for any... "new friends".

Jaune: Good, because I'm on the run. I can't even pay for the coffee. But I do have something to trade.

Clover: And that is...?

Jaune: ...How long have you been in town?

Clover: Three years. Got my start in Mantle.

Jaune: And they gave you the Branwen case, right out the gate?

Clover: Like I said, I'm not that lucky. And what's it to you if I am?

Jaune: Well, it's a tough case, right? It's probably getting cold by now...

Clover: And you got somethin' to warm it up?

Jaune: Yeah. I got somethin'.

Clover: And what's my end of the deal? Lien? Some kinda immunity?

Jaune: None of that. I have people I need to protect.

Clover: Ah... Family man. Weak point of just about every man, even the crooked ones. So, who you got? Dying mother? Wife and kids-

Jaune: A wife and a daughter.

Clover: And no one else to watch your back, right?

Jaune: I wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case.

Clover: Sorry to hear that. Someone once told me you need friends to survive in this world.

Jaune: Mhm, but in my world, it's the other way around. (Sips coffee)

Clover: Not surprising.

Jaune: ...

Clover: Look, I can't promise you anything for your family. Not until I hear what you're trading. So, are you gonna start talking, or are you just killing time before they come for you?

Jaune: I can-

Clover: No, you can't. Oum's sake, look at you. You've got bags under the bags under your eyes. Twitchin' like you've had more than just this cup here. Your neck's probably sore from all that turnin' you've gotta keep doin'. No, the way I see it, you've got someone REAL powerful on your ass, and they're not givin' up 'til you're bobbin' in the river. Now, if you want to walk out that door without me, be my guest. I'm willing to bet you don't make it five steps before you're someone else's case.

Jaune: ...

Clover: BUT... you stick around, tell me your story, and maybe you've got a shot at seeing your little girl walk down the aisle from her arm, rather than from the clouds. (Sighs) Either way, I'm buying you coffee.

Jaune: ...Fuck, I don't know how it all got so cocked up...

Clover: No one ever sees the trap until they're standin' in it. But you didn't get handed a weapon while you were still in diapers, were ya?

Jaune: ...No. I was a cab driver when I met them...

Jaune: I mostly drove nights 'cause the money was better. I was at the end of my shift when I first met Yang and Qrow...

--------------------------------------------------

Yang/Qrow: (In screeching car) SHIT!

Jaune: (Checks tire pressure)

Qrow: Son of a bitch!

Yang: LOOK OUT!

Yang/Qrow: (Crash)

Jaune: Huh? (Looks over)

Yang: (Runs over, Turns) C'mon, Qrow! There's a taxi here! We're gonna be okay!

Jaune: (Backs away)

Yang: (Pulls out gun) HEYHEYHEY! Get in the car! NOW!

Jaune: (Gets in)

Yang: (Gets in)

Jaune: Uh, where to?

Qrow: (Gets in) Anywhere. FAST!

Jaune: (Drives)

Yang: I've got a gun pointed at the back of your head! They catch us, we're dead, but that doesn't mean you get to walk away!

Jaune: I-I don't want any trouble!

Qrow: Well, you've got it. Now drive!

Yang: How the hell'd they know we'd be there?

Qrow: Doesn't matter now! We just need to lose 'em! How many cars are following us?

Yang: Just one, but there'll be more.

Jaune: (Getting shot at) Hang on! I'm gonna try something! (Swerves, Escapes)

Yang: HOLY SHIT!

Jaune: Who were those guys?

Yang: Hey, you don't get to ask questions! We need to get across the bridge. Take this right over here.

Jaune: O-Okay...

Yang: Ngh...

Qrow: Your arm okay?

Yang: Hurts like hell. (Winces)

Qrow: When we get back, I'll wake up doc.

Yang: Uh, I dunno... Maybe it'll be okay?

Qrow: Callin' him anyways. And hey, I see you listening, cab driver. You don't get to listen, either!

Jaune: I'm just taking you guys to where you wanna go.

Qrow: Then do that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaune: There's more of 'em!

Yang: SHIT!

Jaune: (Rams through blockade) Don't worry, I know a couple shortcuts that'll slow 'em down!

Qrow: I don't care how you do it! JUST DO IT!

Jaune: (Swerves through construction, Causes one to crash)

Yang: That's your shortcut?!

Jaune: I lost 'im, didn't I?

Qrow: Not all of 'em!

Jaune: Man, these guys really don't like you, do they?

Yang: Sometimes business partners fall out. It happens.

Qrow: Shut up, Yang! The more he knows, the more likely he doesn't live to see the sunrise.

Jaune: I didn't hear anything, guys.

Yang: I count three cars down- How many were at the exchange?

Qrow: Uh, four? Five? Knowing her, she's probably called double that by now.

Yang: Definitely feels like it. Knew we should've taken more muscle.

Qrow: Trust me, when SHE hears about this, there'll be hell to pay!

Yang: They just keep coming!

Qrow: We're not safe until we're back on our own turf. Let's get back home!

Jaune: (Speeding up)

Yang: Uh... The bridge is up, dude...

Jaune: Yup. We can make it.

Qrow: What the hell are you doing?!

Yang: Just hang tight and pray!

Jaune: (Jumps the bridge, Lands safely)

Qrow: ...Never flew like that before.

Yang: Me neither...

Qrow: Alright, take us to Little Patch. Now. Your night's not over.

Yang: I didn't see this comin'. You think someone squealed?

Qrow: What I think is you should shut up. We'll talk about it when we get to the bar.

Yang: ...Okay, we're close. Pull over in front of that bar.

Jaune: The Crow Bar?

Qrow: That's the one.

Jaune: (Pulls over)

Qrow: Wait here.

Jaune: Why?

Qrow: ...You wanna get what you earned, right?

Yang: (Gets out)

Qrow: (Carries her inside)

Jaune: (Gulps, Shivers)

Qrow: (Walks out, Reaches into coat)

Jaune: (Holds breath)

Qrow: (Pulls out envelope) This should cover it. Gas, transport, and even the damages. With this, we're even.

Jaune: (Takes the envelope) I... think it's more than enough.

Qrow: Good. Miss Branwen wants you to know she's grateful for what you've done. If you ever need anything- lien for a loan or even a good job, don't hesitate to ask. The Miss doesn't forget her friends.

Jaune: Okay, thanks.

Qrow: ...And one other thing. What happened tonight stays here on this street tonight. Anyone asks where you got the lien, say you won it in a card game. The scratches on your cab? You got 'em from swervin' to save a kitty-cat's life. Got it?

Jaune: Of course.

Qrow: (Nods) See ya 'round, kid. (Leaves)

Jaune: (Inhales, Drives away)

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Fix the cab... Yeah, right. When I opened the envelope, I could've died right there. I almost had enough to buy a new one! I thought about what Qrow said about work. I wasn't interested. Sure, the money was good, but I didn't want to get in with criminals. Better to be poor and alive than rich and dead.

Jaune: So right there, back then, I was out.

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (Drinking coffee)

SMASH!

Jaune: SHIT! What the- (Grabbed)

Melanie: Remember me? (Tosses him) Yeah? (Kicks)

Miltia: (Smashes up cab)

Melanie: Lil' Miss isn't too happy. Maybe you shouldn't go around helping Branwen's little birds, right? (Bends down) Now I have to beat up your pretty, little face, just so you don't forget who owns this city.

Jaune: (Gets up)

Melanie: You won't be walking much for a-

Jaune: (Shoves her into Miltia, Flees)

Melanie: (Giggles) Oh, I love it when they make it fun... LET'S GET HIM.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yang: ...Hey, check it out.

Jaune: (Sprinting across the street)

Melanie/Miltia: (Chasing after him)

Qrow: Hm... Jaune. Long time, no see.

Jaune: (Runs past him, Panting behind)

Yang: (Walks inside)

Melanie/Miltia: (Run up to them)

Qrow: Melanie, Miltiades. You got business with The Miss?

Melanie: No, we don't. We just need to talk to that cab boy behind you. That's all.

Qrow: Yeah? Well, this is The Miss's favorite driver. So, anything you gotta say to him, you can say to me.

Melanie: Is that so? Well, let me tell you something then. We're not leaving here empty-handed.

Yang: (Walks out) Then I guess you ain't leavin' at all~! (Levels shotgun)

Melanie: ...Fine. See you around. Let's go, Miltia.

Melanie/Miltia: (Leave)

Yang: (Cackling)

Jaune: Thanks...

Qrow: Least we could do.

Yang: C'mon~! Let's go say to The Miss~!

Jaune: Miss Branwen?

Qrow: Yeah. She's gonna wanna hear about this.

--------------------------------------------------

Raven: (Walks in, Sees Jaune)

Jaune: (Gulps)

Raven: (Gestures to seats, Sits down) What's your name, son?

Jaune: Jaune. Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Raven: Qrow said you ran into some trouble?

Jaune: Yes, ma'am. They smashed up my cab really good.

Yang: Malachite's girls went after him, since Jaune helped us-

Raven: (Holds up hand) And your... taxi. This is how you make your lien?

Jaune: Yes, ma'am.

Raven: ...A part of me feels responsible for what happened to you, so I'll set you up with a loan. Just enough to get your cab fixed.

Jaune: I appreciate, ma'am, but I can't accept lien without working for it.

Raven: ...Then why are we here?

Jaune: I want a shot at those bitches who wrecked my cab.

Raven: Heh... You hear that, Qrow? The boy needs my permission to get into a fight.

Qrow: Uh-huh. That's what I heard.

Raven: ...Very well, Jaune Arc. All of Malachite's miscreants hang out at a bar she owns. Yang, you know the one.

Yang: Sure do, boss.

Raven: Good. You can ride with Jaune then. There's a place right next to the bar where they park their cars. Give 'em a make-over. Send Malachite a message. She can't rough up good, honest working-class folks in MY turf without getting a black eye!

Jaune: Thank you, Miss Branwen. I won't let you down.

Raven: (Nods) ...And Jaune, when you get back, I want to have a discussion about what's next for you.

[callme-dickmaster]

Basket Case

Ch. Six - Involved

summary: police begin to question you about a party you weren't present for, but friendships have you involved now cw: this may be v long, afab! reader, minimal use of y/n, language, bullying, monsters oooo author's note: every day I struggle to find content warnings in these chapters.

Thursday, November 10th, 1983

You groaned and scrunched your eyes when you felt Dustin wriggling away from you that morning. "Dustin?" you grunted, rubbing your eyes. "I'm just going to Mike's for a bit. To...mourn?" he said. You were too tired to question the fact that he sounded unsure of what he was doing, so he was gone. A couple hours later when you couldn't fall back asleep, you groaned and checked the time.

11:32

"Fuck's sake..." you sighed, stomping into the kitchen to grab a Pop-Tart and begrudgingly driving to school. "Miss Henderson! You're very late!" the secretary squealed, writing a tardy slip. You rolled your eyes, taking the slip and walked to class.

"Hello, y/n. Nice of you to join us," Mrs. Click said, giving you a look. You put your head down and walked to your seat. You ignored Steve staring at you and started scribbling away in your notebook. "Y/n Henderson? Can you come with me, please?" the assistant principal called, standing in the doorway. You grabbed your things and followed her into the cafeteria where two police officers and your mother were sitting waiting for you.

"Hi, y/n. We just wanted to ask you a few questions..." Powell asked, giving you a small smile.

"You're not in trouble, are you, y/n?" your mother whimpered. If she had pearls, she'd be clutching them. You shrugged, "Shouldn't be..." you mumbled.

Powell shook his head, trying to reassure your mother. "No, ma'am, we just need to ask her some questions about a fellow student who may be in danger," he said. Clearly, this man had never met Claudia Henderson. You were certain that made her anxiety about your involvement spike even higher.

They took a few minutes to ask you basic questions about what you had been doing the night Barb disappeared and the day leading up to the party. "And you said that you were invited to the party?" Powell asked. You nodded, pulling a knee up to your chest. "You sure?" Callahan asked. You narrowed your eyes at him, making him back off.

"A-anyway...why didn't you attend the party?" Powell asked, "I didn't want to. I didn't like anyone that was there. And I really didn't feel like going to a party just to get picked on..." you sighed, biting your nails. The cops nodded, making notes of your responses in their notepads. You assumed Callahan's would be the dumbest of the two.

"So, if you didn't like whoever was there why would you pick up a...Nancy Wheeler?" Callahan asked, flipping through his notes.

You shrugged, "I dunno...I don't hate Nancy. Our brothers are friends, so we've known each other for a while, and she needed a ride home. I didn't think anything of it," you said. Powell nodded, "So, after you took Nancy back to yours did she say anything about the party? Anything that happened with Barbara?" he asked. You shook your head, humming a "nope."

"Nothing about why she might have left? No mention of an argument...or a Steve Harrington?" Callahan asked. You pursed your lips and shook your head again. "Nothing. She just wanted to crash at my place so her mom wouldn't get on to her," you made absolutely sure not to mention Jonathan and his pictures to keep him out of trouble. You still wanted to look out for him. You still thought of him as a friend.

"And you think that you saw some kind of bear behind the Harrington kid's house?" Powell asked.

You shrugged, "Something like that. It kinda looked like a really skinny guy in a mask. Really creepy. Me and Nancy both think that maybe whoever it is had something to do with Barb not being around." Callahan leaned his elbows on the table.

"Well, we took a look through the woods behind the house, and we didn't find anyone and there was no car either. We think Barbara came back last night and took off. Maybe ran away. Would you know anything about that?" he asked. You shrugged and shook your head, "I didn't even know Barbara until Nancy asked me for help, so...no," you said. The policemen asked more stupid questions about a party you weren't even present for and released you back to class.

"I'll see you at home, okay? I love you bunches!" your mom said, kissing your cheek. "Love you..." you sighed, walking back into your classroom.

Everyone had moved their desks together and were talking away about projects or who would be at the mall later and Steve sat alone writing in his notes. You silently sat beside him and pulled your notebook out to continue working on your half of the project.

"Um...hey," Steve said quietly.

You glanced at him and nodded, continuing to write in your book. "Did they call you to talk to the cops?" he asked. You nodded again, still trying to focus on writing.

"I wasn't even at the party so...don't know why they even wanted to talk to me," you mumbled. Steve hummed and nodded, not really sure how to talk to you. He was so used to people worshipping the ground he walked on that when he talked to you he was thrown for a loop. You clearly couldn't care less about him, and he wasn't sure if he liked that or not. Either way, he knew you weren't supposed to be on his mind like you had been.

"I mean...you and Nancy have been hanging out recently, so..." Steve trailed off. He didn't know where he was going with that, but he was curious and wanted to dig and see what changed all of a sudden that made you and Nancy best friends.

"So? That's not their business," you grumbled, your pencil lead snapping. Steve just said a quiet "yeah..." and went back to his side of the project.

"Um, would you maybe wanna come over and work on this? Together?" Steve asked hesitantly when you began packing up your things. You looked at him suspiciously, "You want me to come to your house?" you asked.

Steve stuttered and nodded, "Y-yeah! Why not?" he shrugged.

"Uh, because you're you and I'm the "spaz of Hawkins" duh," you deadpanned.

The bell rang and you took off without answering him any further which Steve took as a big fat "NO." You sighed, stomping into the school's red room and stopped when you saw Jonathan and Nancy standing in there.

"Oh! ...Hey," you said slowly. Jonathan jumped at your arrival and scrambled to cover up what they were doing. "H-hey!" he smiled nervously. You gave him a look then looked at Nancy. "What're you up to?" you asked. Nancy sighed, "I think the pictures Jonathan took at Steve's can help us find out what happened to Barb," she said.

You hummed and nodded, taking a seat at the counter you always sat at. "Cool. What is it?" you asked. "Um...w-we don't know," Jonathan said quietly. You shrugged, "I'll help you," you said. "Really?" Nancy raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I don't have anything better to do. And...I guess we're friends now, so..." you sighed.

Nancy slowly smiled and nodded, seeming proud of herself. "Nancy thinks that thing my mom's been seeing might've taken her. She said you guys saw something at Steve's," Jonathan said, glancing between you both. You hummed and shrugged, leaning your chin on your hand. "I thought it was just some guy in a mask or something," you shrugged. "No, it sounded like an animal..." Nancy muttered.

You nodded and eyed the picture they were developing. "Maybe it's a monster," you snickered. Nancy rolled her eyes playfully and looked at the picture as it slowly developed. "That's it," Nancy said softly, seeing the creature that formed in the photo.

You leaned on the counter, looking at the photo. "That's exactly it," you nodded. "My mom...I thought she was crazy because she said th-that's not Will's body. That he's alive..." Jonathan said, staring at the picture.

You shook your head, slowly tilting the tub to look closer. "This kind of stuff isn't real..." you whispered. "I guess we were wrong about that..." Nancy mumbled. You nodded, staring down at the photo as it sat as a black square in the tub of acid.

<3

[gritandoengay]

The discourse around Arcane is curious, because it seems like a show that, while it definitely has its flaws, also suffers from many people projecting what they thought the show was about and what its central focus would be. Maybe it's because we're living in a moment of right wing populism making its comeback in several countries and people are, understandably, looking for media to serve as some sort of guide, but - why look for that in Arcane? I'm always baffled when people say that they're disappointed season 2 of Arcane wasn't a Marxist dream of the proletariat triumphantly defeating the upper classes of Piltover or some seminary piece on how to resist an empire Andor style when like...season 1 wasn't either.

I can see why some people might think so, the foundation was laid with the setting and character backstories. Piltover oppresses Zaun, Silco is our main antagonist and he's explicitly seeking independence for Zaun (I'm not going to get into the character himself because that's a whole vat of worms), Ekko forms the Firelights as a resistance group, Sevika's whole deal is following whoever she thinks is the current Che Guevara, etc. We also see and explore the corruption that runs rampant in Piltover and the enforcers through Jayce, Caitlyn, Marcus, etc.

But, a lot of that merely informs the show and its themes, it's not the heart of the show or even that central to the storylines of every major character. I'm not going to give a rundown of every single character arc in season 1, but let's look at the ones that are supposed to be the heart of the story: Vi and Jinx. The heart of the show is (again, supposed to be) Jinx and Vi's relationship, and the climax of season 1 revolves wholly around their relationship. Don't get me wrong, their backstories are very much a product of the cruel and oppressive systems they have to navigate, and those forces often conspire to keep them apart, but their main motivations and actions are deeply personal throughout season 1.

Vi is never a revolutionary

Vi is a character whose backstory positioned her perfectly to become a revolutionary. Her parents are killed by enforcers and she's thrown into Stillwater to rot away as a fucking teenager. Vi has every reason to want to burn it all down, and make no mistake, she absolutely hates the enforcers and Piltover. That said, her priority after leaving Stillwater isn't to burn it all down - it's to find Jinx and rescue her from Silco's clutches. She teams up with Caitlyn, an enforcer, and then later Jayce, the god damn Head of the Council. Vi never hesitates to call out Pilties on their bullshit - but at no point as an adult does she state an intent to bring down Piltover and all its institutions.

Her focus is squarely on getting her sister back, everything and everybody else be damned. As a character, Vi's priorities are her people, her people being her family. Not the entirety of Zaun, not the oppressed classes around the world, her family and loved ones. I'm gonna say something "controversial" again, but it's actually very human for somebody that has been through what Vi has to do what Vi does, to say she just wants to take Powder/Jinx and get away from it all, including Silco's own little empire in Zaun. Not everybody is a revolutionary in real life either, many people just want to exist in peace after years of hardship and escape somewhere better with their loved ones.

Jinx was never that interested in revolution either

This one is harder to understand at first glance because Jinx is raised by Mr. Nation of Zaun himself and very vocally expresses her hatred towards Pilties and enforcers (whom she takes great pleasure in killing!), plus of course everything she says about Caitlyn. Her actual motivations for hating Caitlyn aren't mainly that Caitlyn is a rich Piltie cop though - no, that hatred stems first and foremost from the insecurity Jinx feels when she sees Caitlyn with Vi, when she feels unwanted and threatened as the most important person in Vi's life.

Jinx doesn't kidnap Caitlyn because Caitlyn is the daughter of a councilor and the scion of one of the most powerful families in all of Piltover, she kidnaps Caitlyn because she intends to force Vi to choose between them. It's all a deeply personal conflict, Caitlyn could have been another poor oppressed Zaunite like them and Jinx still probably would have thrown a fit.

Jinx doesn't shoot a rocket at the Piltover Council because she's had it with the oppression of Zaun, she shoots a rocket at the Council because she's in an incredibly fragile emotional state after killing her adopted father figure (again) and thinking that her relationship with Vi is broken beyond repair. Yeah, no shit somebody that was already super mentally unstable and with a huge god damn rocket loses it.

This is also why it's not terribly surprising when she...doesn't actually do any revolutionary figure stuff in season 2. Disappointing? Maybe, if your favorite part about Jinx in season 1 was her hating the enforcers and Piltover, but not surprising. Her hatred of Caitlyn in season one might be due in part to Caitlyn being an enforcer, but it's first and foremost because she sees Caitlyn as the proverbial homewrecker that is going to steal Vi away from her. She sees Caitlyn as the one that is going to replace her because she's fundamentally broken, crazy - a jinx.

Season 1 was not first and foremost about revolution

Here's when I knew we weren't going to get a masterclass in imperialism or that revolution was going to be the central theme of Arcane going forward: when Silco and Jayce, the former being the violent drug lord running the Undercity and the latter the newly appointed Head of the Council way in over his head, meet up to negotiate the sovereignty of Zaun. I have to admit that I laughed a little at the set up - not that it would never happen in real life (y'all romanticize drug lords too much btw), but it still seemed a little silly.

Anyway, when Jayce gives Silco the condition of handing over Jinx in exchange for Zaunite independence, that should have clued everybody in that this show was first and foremost trying to be a character drama. It's true Zaun was starting to become unruly/a threat to Piltover, but come on, "Hand over the girl and we will give you independence" is not how empires operate lol. No, this was done to create more internal conflict for Silco, to pit his ideals and all he's worked for vs his love for his adopted daughter.

Speaking of Silco, making the guy that most fervently wants independence for Zaun the main antagonist of the season is peak Hollywood status quo centrism. The writing was on the wall there folks, no matter how well written and nuanced you think his character is.

Season 2 has issues, but this show has always had issues

I have my disappointments with season 2 as well. For one, it desperately needed to be longer. Season 2 should have been the natural continuation of the Piltover vs Zaun conflict and season 3 about the Machine Herald/Arcane proper storyline. Hell, just three or four more episodes could have done wonders for all the character arcs and plot points that were rushed. But there were budget constraints and time considerations and orders from above to shove in the Black Rose for sequel set up so *shrug*, kind of a "it is what it is" situation. There are 200k word fanfictions out there that masterfully weave all these character arcs into a Piltover vs Zaun focused narrative, so that's why I've been pretending s2 could have been.

It's just confusing to see so much rage and resentment against the second season of a series that was only...marginally more class conscious or "woke" than most other mainstream media to begin with. I hesitate to say Arcane was ever super woke when it does the whole "we're pretending racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. don't exist in this universe with other oppressive systems" thing and as a result the ultimate big bad Noxian warlord is a black woman (kind of yikes), not to mention how Arcane sidelines several poc characters and/or turns them into accessories for white characters. This "Only money and class status matter in this world" framing naturally attracts a fandom full of class reductionism though, so of course every discourse quickly spirals into "This character is inherently good because they're poor and this character is inherently bad because they're rich." and "Arcane should have turned into Jinx rallying her comrades to form a communist utopia"

Want shows that more accurately depict police corruption and brutality? Go watch The Wire, go watch The Shield, go watch When They See Us. Want popular sci-fi shows that more accurately depict the horrors of capitalism? Go watch Squid Game and Severance. Want a show that accurately depicts imperialism and how to resist it? For the love of god, go watch Andor then.

Yes, Arcane could have definitely done more with many of these themes and handled them better, you can criticize it for its mishandling of those topics and dropping some of season 1's narrative threads in season 2 (a much less narratively and thematically tight season). What I don't understand was confidently hyping yourself up for some masterful takedown of capitalism and all the violent mechanisms that maintain it, those expectations just seemed a little...silly to be honest. There are other shows that very clearly state that intent from the beginning, go watch those.

If you're disappointed in what you think Arcane could have been, then I say this with outright sincerity and no malice, write that fanfiction or write that original story yourself. Share that vision with the world.

[xhollowfaerie]

silverv drabbles #7

a/n: taking a break from the brain-erosive essay i have to finish to post this sexual tension/angst/"we're arguing like a shriveled up married couple" snippet I wrote a few days ago bc they're my meowmeows and I love when they have sexually charged screaming contests with each other <333

warnings: angst, aggressive arguing, Johnny being our favorite toxic boyfriend (it's a joke pls don't come for me)

V stormed into her Megabuilding H10 apartment, tossing her Second Conflict jacket off with disdain. Johnny’s eyes followed it as it dropped to the floor, rolling his eyes. Ah, shit, here we go again.

“I'm not your little fuckin’ girlfriend, Johnny!”

His mouth gaped, letting out an incredulous huff before his hands settled on his hips. “Who the fuck said you were?” His head shook in disbelief before shifting his weight to the other leg with a sneer. “Even I wouldn't stoop so low to bone some ‘Saka bitch. Still got a moral compass, y’know.”

She was furiously fiddling with a crystal decanter of scotch on the counter, finally managing to pour a sizable amount into a glass and turning to him with a fierce raise of her voice. The alcohol swayed dangerously back and forth as she motioned, a few drops splattering away from their confines and onto the carpet. “FUCK you and FUCK your compass! Matter of fact,” she held her hands up, taking a hearty sip. Exhaled. And glared at him again with renewed fervor, “I'm this close to sticking it so far up your ass you start singing in Japanese when it comes out the other side.”

He couldn't even find a witty retort, simply glaring daggers at her as she stomped in his direction, trying his best to ignore the infuriatingly sexy sound of her heels clacking against the floor and suppress a laugh. Shit, he lo- …maybe liked her humour. A little. Barely.

She aimed a manicured finger at his chest, holding it over his heart like a blade ready to strike. His skin prickled in anticipation right where it almost grazed him. “You're the one getting ridiculously jealous anytime I so much as breathe next to another man!”

He wanted to laugh in her face, but they both widened their eyes at the shared emotion that went through them. Another man. Like Honourable Prince Corpo, Mister “Under Other Circumstances”, her knight in shining armor? Like Mister Goody Two Shoes beat cop who was so disgustingly infatuated with her it made him sick - not to mention - fine, it pissed him the fuck off.

“I can literally feel you seething, you FUCKING GONK!”

“Holy fuck, V - do me a favor and just SHUT the FUCK. UP! Man, can you quit your bitchin' for a single fuckin’ second?”

“Thought you loved it when bitches screamed at you! What, mommy didn't give you enough goodnight kisses?”

“Why, wanna do something about that? Just askin’, seein’ as you insist on wearing that red fucking lipstick that drives me up the wall every damn day! Been thinkin’ it’d look great on my-”

“UGH, Johnny! You're SO disgusting! Stop. Talking.”

“Mind gettin’ your claws off my bicep, then? You're gropin’ me like a starved cougar.”

She let out a noise of disgust and immediately retreated once the realization hit her, whipping her hand as if to flick his germs off of her, crossing her arms in front of her chest. That was… unsettling. Neither of them had realized just how close they had gotten to each other during their yelling contest. Truthfully, she had grown much too used to his presence. She’d also rather go back to Arasaka before confessing that she’d lately begun to even… crave it. V downed the rest of her liquor before slamming the glass back down.

“You’re delusional, and pathetic. Have you maybe considered that not every woman wants to play with your egocentric, easily excitable little weiner?” 

“No, I haven’t, cause every woman and her fuckin’ boyfriend wanna take my magnificent Rottweiler out for a walk. And please, spare me the bullshit. Real big talk, comin’ from the bitch who got all wet when some BD spinner made her a fuckin’ sandwich. I ain’t no Prince Charming, but that was just sad. Tell me you got some semblance of TLC from a single gonk your entire life? There’s gotta be more than what I’ve seen in your past.”

The words were out before he had the time to think them over, immediately wishing he’d swallowed them, watching memories twist her face with heartbreak. He cussed under his breath, trying to reach a hand out when she balled her fists so hard her knuckles turned white. The delay of the pain as her nails sharply dug into her palm only furthered his descent into regret.

“V, I didn’t-” “Yeah, Johnny, there was a single person who showed me true love, and it wasn’t your superficial type bullshit. We weren’t fuckin’, it was never romantic. He was my fucking friend. My brother. Maybe you’d know somethin’ about that if you hadn’t ruined the life all the people who actually considered you one, like that poor fuckin’ bastard Kerry. I feel more and more sorry for him every day.”

He knew he shouldn’t, but he snarled. “Keep him out of it-” “Yeah? Like you keep Jackie outta your fuckin’ mouth? Every chance you get, you shove him, or Goro, or River, or fuckin’ Jenkins, hope that bastard’s rotting in hell, right in my face! Fuck’s sake, I’m not one of your little groupies, you insensitive, selfish asshole! And you know what? Even they had fuckin’ feelings that you trampled all over, just like you’ve done with every single person who ever gave a single shit about you. Just like you did with Rogue and just like you did-” “V, don’t-” “With Alt.”

Johnny acted before his - her - oh, who fuckin’ cares - their? brain, or the Relic, or CPU, or whatever the fuck had time to process it. Overtaken with anger, just like when they first met, he marched up to her and slammed her into the wall behind her by the shoulders, baring his teeth with aggression.

“What is it you want from me, huh? Want me to say I fucked up? Want me to admit I’m just a piece of shit? Think you can boss me around like all the cucks back at ‘Saka? Worse, think I’m your little choom? That we’re close? Let me tell you somethin’, V. You don’t know the first fuckin’ thing about me. The only reason I haven’t taken over your gonk fuckin’ brain is ‘cause I was still hopin’ you’d be useful. Well, turns out, I was wrong.”

She didn’t so much as flinch. Valerie’s expression was blank; the emptiness in her eyes reminded him much more of what she used to be like before she’d met Jackie. Johnny recalled - in the worst moment - feeling glad that they hadn’t met when she was still at ‘Saka, ‘cause that would’ve been a universe where they were guaranteed to kill each-other in cold blood. 

When she spoke, her voice was steady, calculated. Distant. “You done?”

She shoved him off without so much as a glance. Johnny scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets as he paced away. “Yeah. Sure. We’re done.”

Mechanically, V poured another glass of scotch and used it to swallow an omega blocker pill. Johnny’s eyes flickered to her, lowering as he glitched out of her peripheral. She kicked her heels off and slid down the wall, burying her face between her knees, still holding onto her glass. The liquid swayed ever so slightly, her apartment now dead quiet as her body released a series of soundless sobs.

[gigglebone6]

ithink this is what tumblr would be like in the dogman universe: a simulator

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

can those villain asshats get control of those goddamn monsters i have lost literally every single fucking thing thanks to those brainless pieces of shits last week a fucking T-REX SKELETON destroyed my fucking HOUSE and everything around it

🪻 inmylane-1999

how are you able to say those words

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

what words?

🪻 inmylane-1999 the a word, f word, and s word

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

oh i see you're one of the Collardale inhabitants. screw the fuck off your town is a CURSE

🪻 inmylane-1999

what did i do? :(

10 notes

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

hnstly i dont get y Daryl hangs arnd that pig guy hes rlly mean & bad

🐊 piethrowingboss

didnt u help us go after him when he ditched us after the mini jail broke 2 bits?

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

yeh butt hes still rlly mean & i was a lil moar concerned 4 Daryl

🐊 piethrowingboss

ohhhh kk

5 notes

🐕 zupabuddiezthezenutz

zomg did u guyz watch that new mini-documentary w/ Petey The Cat n Zarah Hatoff??? that waz tragickk..

#holy shart i have so much moar respect 4 him now..

6 notes

🔄 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep reblogged

🌆 icareforyou follow

still dont know why people are supporting Petey Duckhat just because of that documentary, didn't he terrorize the city for more than a month or two?? ntm he quite literally MUTILATED Officer Knight and Greg The Dog's bodies bad enough with that bomb to where they had to become that sick and horrible abomination i have to stomach through seeing on the news every week.

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

i know right?? like hes genuinely a horrible cat but people are supporting him for no other reason other than "oh hes a victim!!" like shut the fuck up and grow up.

comicpanel-deactivated-98325749857

op i wouldn't say DogMan is sick and horrible, he seems to be in great condition despite such an accident and hard surgery to conduct, and looks perfectly happy. while i don't support Petey Duckhat either, you took it a step further and suggested that DogMan is currently in conditions horrible enough to render him an "abomination".

🌆 icareforyou follow

dont you post tips for fucking evil monsters on your blog.

#LMAOOO dude was SLAUGHTERED so hard they deactivated #redogs

1,509 notes

🌭 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep

walking on the street with a small can of living spray in my pocket and the nearest cop explodes into blood guts and viscera

10 notes

🦷 bigmonsterinyourheart

okay i get that Dr. Scum is a real and kinda sucky person and all that but his labcoat kinda fucks!!

0 notes

✨ lookatthestars

Hot take or whatever but I don't think we should trust a guy who gets really distracted by squirrels and balls and a kitten who could easily get hurt to protect our city. Lightning Dude IS one of the better options as they ARE a highly durable and strong robot, but The Bark Knight and Cat Kid maybe aren't our best bets, they could get hurt easily and aren't exactly professionals.

Don't get me started on the Friendly Friends, I don't think we can trust two guys who JUST left the same exact trio that was responsible for that marshmallow factory's destruction (which left many injured, some DEAD), what if they're pretending? Also the bugs could easily get killed, they're small and fragile, the most work they can do without a high risk of getting smashed is spying on villains.

Commander Cupcake's a different story, as I'm pretty sure that guy only helped out, like, 3 times.

#anti-supa buddies #anti-friendly friends #twinkle twinkle little star

15 notes

🪁 lalalalala89

dude imagine if we were in a book rn and ppl were posting on tumblr abt us

0 notes

🎠 supastarr

remember, calico trans toms are perfectly valid! even cis toms can be calicos, and fur pattern doesn't determine exact gender, especially with fur dying technology nowadays! :)

506 notes

[squiddleknitted]

Watching the new James Somerton apology.

Bold move monetising your apology video. The revenue will go to HBomberGuy! Or Wikipedia maybe!?

The focus on how so many people were nice to him feels like he's suggesting nobody should criticise him now that he's been forgiven by the people he personally and directly wronged.

There's an awful lot of weight being placed on "I'm a cis white man." It's like he's trying to take the blame off himself and put it onto the cisness, whiteness, and maleness. Being a cis white man means he will always be flawed, it's a way of avoiding his responsibility for his actions.

He called the fucking cops on someone. He claims the person, "Did an internet and threatened to kill me." He then follows this up by acknowledging that, "Cops don't usually have the best interests of people at heart." I'm not familiar with the Jessie topic but this video explores it and offers context.

Lots of "We tried too hard to be good and that was our real downfall" type bullshit.

On Telos: "These were not going to be unionised movies, and we were very clear about that upfront. We wanted to be able to pay actors as best that we could, but we never expected to be able to reach typical union wages." Do I even need to say it?

Lots of throwing Nick under the bus. What are Nick's pronouns? James goes from using exclusively they/them to exclusively he/him. There's a line about how him and Nick were codependent that makes me wonder if abuse/toxicity allegations are in the future?

He's talking an awful lot about how every movie he tries to do has issues and he inevitably had to move to a new movie plan. Surely he should've just. Focused on how to fix the issue?

He's getting really into the suicide topic again. In a way that would be better saved for close friends and therapists.

Supposedly several people showed up at his house trying to harm him while he was not there. I'm a little skeptical. This is the first I've heard of anyone having his address, and while I'm sure he received threats, I can't imagine anyone is so invested as to actually go to his house.

He is re-uploading videos, including new videos. The re-uploaded videos are monetised and the money will be going... Somewhere.

"I know that misinformation made its way into our past videos." Well, it didn't write itself?

He has put together a new Patreon, and claims he will not be reopening the old one.

"This video is not about promoting myself." And yet, you have spent much of it doing exactly that.

He hasn't acknowledged the ways that some of his work upheld misogynistic and racist views? 43 minute video and he couldn't manage a, "I should've been more normal about nazis," or, "I said some mean things about women."

[lassieposting]

So anyway, things I've been thinking about this morning: Garrus Vakarian probably likes foreign films

Like.

Turians are the Proud Soldier Race Guys. They have an incredibly rigid, collectivist, by-the-book kind of culture, where every single individual is obligated to spend a good chunk of their formative adolescent/young adult years in the military, where Turian Ideals are hammered into them. So they don't seem like they'd have a big media scene glorifying tropes which go against their general cultural values - specifically, in this case, an individual going outside standard procedures to Get Shit Done on their own terms.

And this is a trope that Garrus loves. When we first meet him, he's sick of being the Good Little C-Sec Cop who follows orders and gets swamped with red tape and can't get the bad guy because Procedure Says No. He clearly sees himself as/wants to be the cowboy cop, detective-gone-rogue type, and he's got a pretty romanticised idea of what that would look like in his head. Bless him.

But. He's learned about that trope from somewhere, and I can't really see it being his own people. Especially with a father like Castis, who's so staunchly exactly what's expected from a turian. He seems like the type who'd have strong opinions about what his kids are reading and watching and being influenced by, because while he obviously loves Garrus, he wants him to grow up to fit a certain mould. The Turian version of the wish-fulfilment vigilante flick is the Spectre Movie, but Garrus isn't allowed to watch those, because Castis doesn't approve of Spectres being Outside The Law.

So baby Garrus grows up lowkey feeling stifled by the way society works, and maybe that's a problem with him, so he gets his head down and does his best to be a Good Turian and make his dad proud, and then he gets his discharge papers and goes to work for C-Sec, and suddenly he's living on the Citadel by himself, and he's got free time nobody is telling him to do X or Y with. He's basically moved away from home for the first time - the Citadel is not Turian-controlled, it's a thriving multicultural melting pot with plenty of people living there who don't exactly conform to Turian standards, he's got colleagues with interests he's never even heard of, and he's gonna start seeing new things.

Human superhero films and cop movies with lots of explosions and no paperwork. Small-budget Batarian short films about victorious anti-Hegemony rebellions. Even his own people's Spectre films. Some kid selling drugs in the wards has a Batman comic in his confiscated backpack? Garrus borrows it to browse on his lunch break. Some Salarian ex-STG operative publishes a memoir? Garrus reads it on the shuttle to work. All these people who feel like he does.

Like. Give me Archangel who regularly spouts lines from Batman or X-Men or Krogan Thunder 3 (or whatever the fuck else he's been watching) as part of his Good Guy Victory Speeches, that makes at least one of his multispecies team who Knows That Franchise pull up short and go "Oh my god, you're a nerd."

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery, @iobsessoverfictionalmen

chapter 6

warnings: warnings: warnings: swearing, divorce, suggestive jokes, Roman makes self deprecating jokes (mostly about his weight and money situation), kate is an asshole and drunk, mention of sex

“Kate.” Roman growled. “Don’t.” My gaze kept flicking between the two. My mind was trying to piece together how those two had ever gotten together in the first place. Especially when Kate looked like she belonged on the cover of Forbes or vogue or something, expensive clothes and jewelry paired together.

“why not?” She asked, pouting. “Never took you for the goth type.” Roman tensed and I tried to pull away from him but he held me tightly. She looked me over and Roman pushed me behind him slightly.

"What the fuck do you want Kate?" Roman asked, sighing and squeezing my arm where it was still wrapped around him. "I don't have the kids. You know that. It's your time with them." Kate rolled her eyes at him.

"But you were supposed to pick them up from Chet's an hour ago asshole." She snapped. Roman frowned and looked at his watch.

"No I wasn't." He said. "I don't get them until next weekend. Since your wonderful lawyer decided I wasn't fit to be alone with them for more than a few hours a week." I tightened my hold on Roman as Kate narrowed her eyes at him. “Thanks for that by the way.” Kate rolled her eyes.

“Well if you’re going to be such a stuck up asshole…” Kate trailed off turning her gaze to me. “Maybe I should tell this bitch…”

“Katherine!” Roman cried as loud as he dared since we were still in the hallway.

“Just what kind of man you are.” She continued, giving him an evil grin. Roman tightened his hold on me and pushed me further behind him. She started walking over towards us, swaying with every step.

“Dammit.” Roman muttered. “She’s drunk.”

“so what do we do?” I whispered. Roman kept himself between the two of us as he moved towards his door.

“follow my lead. We’ll lock her out here and I’ll call…I don’t even know who she’s dating right now.” Roman winced as Kate fell into the wall with a thud. “Fuck it I’ll call Connie.” Roman managed to get his door open and both of us inside as Kate slid down the wall.

“Roman!” She yelled as Roman locked the door, leaning heavily on it and taking a deep breath. “Why won’t you have sex with me anymore?” I raised an eyebrow at that.

“last argument we had. During the filings. She showed up drunk and I was pissed off and she wanted a friends with benefits thing. I said no. So she…started screaming about our sex life in front of the judge.” Roman shrugged.

“how she ever got custody of your kids I’ll never understand.” I shook my head.

“I lied remember? And she blamed me on the mine shaft thing. Said I was supposed to be watching them when she told them to stay in the car.” Roman responded. He finally found the phone number he’d been looking for and dialed. “Connie? Oh hi Chet. No everything…well Kate’s outside my door…yeah asking why I didn’t pick up the girls…right…” while Roman talked to his brother in law I sat down on his couch. I ran my hands over my face and glanced at the door where Kate was still yelling after Roman.

“roman?” I said softly. He looked up and told Chet to hold on. “Tell him to be quick or someone’s gonna call the cops.” Roman nodded and relaid my message.

“yeah…I guess…thanks Chet. Say good night to the girls for me.” Roman said before hanging up. “Their car broke down.” He said, smirk on his face.

“how convenient.” I said, leaning into him. We listened to Kate for a minute before I tilted my head to look up at him. “Should we be the ones to call?” Roman chuckled and grabbed the phone again.

“I don’t see why not.” He said dialing the phone. “Yes hello. I’d like to report a public disturbance. There is a drunk woman screaming outside my apartment. Late 30s. Dark hair. Caucasian. Well dressed.” Roman paused for a second before giving the building number and his apartment number. “Ok. Thank you.” He hung up and looked at me with a smile. “Not the first complaint of the night.” We both started laughing as Kate moved on to complaining about how roman was in bed.

“For fucks sake does she ever talk about anything but sex?” I groaned. Roman rolled his eyes.

“money.” He said. “Which I don’t have so she can’t complain about that.” Roman took a deep breath before taking my hand. “Come on. It should be quieter in my bedroom.”

“taking me to your bedroom already Mr. Craig? I’m flattered.” I giggled. Roman chuckled as he led me down the hall to his room.

“It was only a matter of time before I brought you here anyway.” Roman teased. “Maybe not for nefarious purposes but I mean I’ve got a tv in here and we can cuddle. Beds pretty comfortable honestly. I mean not the softest or firmest but…” I kissed Roman and cupped his cheeks.

“Roman.” I smiled softly at him. “You don’t have to sell me on it. I know we’re not going to do anything back here. I’m happy just to cuddle with you.” Roman smiled at me before kissing me softly again.

“ok.” He whispered. “I just…with Kate…” Roman sighed as we both climbed on the bed. I laid on his chest, tilting my head against his neck. Roman wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I put my hand over his heart and closed my eyes, smiling softly as he turned on the tv. “You ok?” He asked finally. “I know meeting Kate that way wasn’t on your list of things to do.”

“I don’t think it was even on my list to begin with.” I chuckled, rubbing his chest. “Like at all. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t her. I didn’t think I could honestly. Whenever you talked about her, I just wanted to hit her. She put you through so much Roman. So much unnecessary shit. I just…” Roman tilted my head up and kissed me hard.

My lips moved against his, hands curling into the black sweater he was wearing. I hummed as he pulled back for a second before diving back in. Roman rolled me on my back, hands framing my hips. Lowering himself, Roman’s forearms trapped me on the bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged him further down onto me. I played with his hair as we lazily made out.

“Roman.” I moaned as he ground down against me. Roman paused and drew back. I stared up at him with a smile.

“spend the night.” He whispered. “Please. Spend the night.”

“I’d love to.” I breathed out. Roman smiled and buried his face in my neck. He leaned more of his weight against me. “I do need to go back to my apartment for pajamas though.” Roman shook his head.

“wear mine.” Roman whispered. I smiled up at his ceiling.

“if you think you can handle it.” I teased. Roman pulled back with a smile.

“I think I can.” He responded before kissing me soundly.

[httpsawesome]

okay sorry this one's a lot but I'm sooooo curious about your thoughts here. you don't have to answer all of them!! I'm just very indecisive I have no idea which ones to pick but They're in my head rn

☂️🕊️🔒🪢🌊🕯️🧩🌀 kim

☂️🕊️🔒💼📿🪢🌊🕯️🧩🍻🌀 jean

OMG OMG OMG THANK YOU AHHHHH i do want to answer them all!! but i think it'll get quite long. this response will be JUST Kim thoughts and then I'll reblog this later with all the Jean ones

Do they crave touch or fear it?

So we know Kim doesn't fear casual touch really at all, he doesn't hesitate to reach out for a pat, but I do think he'd be very careful and very aware of engaging in any touch in public that could be interpreted non-platonically. But he also, I think, craves the freedom to hold hands and kiss in public. Maybe in better times the next generation will not have to be so scared of it, but not currently, and not for him.

When did they feel the safest?

This is very interesting to think about because currently it doesn't feel like Kim feels all that safe in his day to day life. Like, he has a dangerous as hell job and he's very quickly to assume the deadliest scenario and think about the things he needs to do to keep others safe (and primarily others in my mind, I think he is refusing to deal with some serious survivor's guilt and wouldn't hesitate really at all in sacrificing himself for others).

I think he feels safest when alone in his home/space. Especially if the doors are locked and he isn't sitting with his back against them/any windows. He probably has his favorite armchair positioned in the exact right position to see everything he needs to and only then does that prickly, fearful voice in the back of his mind finally quiet down.

What is a secret they've sworn never to tell?

Oh this one was really hard for me to picture, and my first instinct was to imagine another sad moment from his childhood, but I don't want to keep doing that to Kim! Not every minute of his time growing up is angsty!

I can picture him late teens to early 20s, before he joined the RCM (I doublechecked and it says he joined at age 23) and he was getting high with his temporary group of friends. This is during his rebellious phase, and I think he bought the weed they were all smoking at the time, and it's getting late. Everyone but him and one other guy in the group are passed out and they're talking, and the guy is blasted so he confesses to Kim that he has a crush on him but then immediately starts panicking. Gets Kim to swear to not tell anyone, he just needed to tell somebody cause it was eating him up inside. And Kim swore to not tell anyone. Did they become a thing? I don't think so, maybe they kissed though.

When was the last time they broke a promise?

GAH THIS ONE IS ALSO HARD TO PICTURE

For his job, he has to give a lot of promises that he has no way of actually following through even if he wants to. He probably promised a ton of kids that everything was going to work out just fine when he knows they likely aren't.

When was the last time they cried?

He tries to be so composed in public that I can imagine him coming home from a bad day and lingers at the kitchen sink for a little bit, in complete silence, not even taking his jacket off yet. And the weight of the day just gets progressively heavier and heavier and he lets himself cry for a little and then he goes and takes a shower. This isn't enough to have his daily cigarette early though.

This happens more often then it probably should. Couple of times a month.

What memory do they replay when they're alone?

He probably remembers a lot of kids that he came across in his time as a juvie cop. Kids he feels like he failed, ones he feels like he helped but didn't help enough. They stick with him.

What's a truth about themselves they refuse to admit?

HE'S GOT CONTROL ISSUESSSS I think he refuses to acknowledge that he has major control issues

Like?? His reasoning for taking the fuck the world and piss f//got jackets is just he doesn't want them to have it. Literally he sees other people doing something he doesn't like and doesn't get why and he uses his power as a cop to put a stop to it. He doesn't see this as control issues or that he's abusing his power and he thinks this is just a completely rational and okay thing for him to do.

Do they have a recurring dream or nightmare?

I cannot remember if this is actually canon or is a headcanon I've believed for so long that I forgot it is a HC, but I know he has a regular reoccurring nightmare about the incident where Dom dies. And it's centered on how he feels like he failed him and didn't do enough.

and this is unrelated from the thoughts I just shared, but whenever I think about Kim's nightmares I think of this fanfic from an anonymous author and I think it's very written written. Highly recommended! It does explore bullying and has scary/nightmarish imagery.

WOO THIS WAS FUN and I typed a lot O.O I'll answer Jean's a little later! Thank you again anon <3 <3

[allwormdiet]

Tangle 6.8

I hate this man's vibe

Don't separate her! From her dogs! Let them get in the limo!

This is so fucking funny

Coil is trying to flex on a pack of teenagers with a coin trick

and Skitter's immediate response was "okay hang on fucker, I'm supplying the coin for this trick"

and is only satisfied after that

...Also man, when's the last time i saw a dollar coin anywhere, huh

So, having been spoiled on how Coil's power works (in my defense, I went like three or four years knowing about this series before I even considered reading it), I can't help but feel like this is simultaneously a petty means of flexing power and a melodramatic means of describing it.

I kinda suspected Tattletale was playing carefully with her word choices when talking about the boss, nice to see the confirmation.

...Now that I think about it... Hmm. Three of the six groups at the table in Somer's Rock were under Coil's command, and when Tattletale was talking about how everyone but "Grue and maybe Faultline" was planning to take advantage of the truce to advance their cause, that didn't mean that the Undersiders weren't part of those plots. It turns out to have been the opposite.

...Tattletale, I think you're my favorite, but I'm watching you like a goddamn hawk now

Taylor seems to have a lot of "not-best calls" when it comes to people, huh

Also oh boy the Travelers have some shit going on huh

and that's not just whatever is souring their teamwork and communication

...Did Coil practice this? Was there a rehearsal period for his speech, getting the timing down right for the window's speed and the emergence from the tunnel? I can't escape the feeling that he spent at least a day on this, maybe a week

And, yeah, ambitious is a word for it. Man wants to control every aspect of an entire city? He wants to play the cops and the robbers and the bankers and the... whoever else exists in this metaphor? Just play Sim City, honestly, or get into 4X games. If we could just get this man hooked on Crusader Kings or something the world would be a lot safer

I'll grant that he's making a good play at this if nothing else. Certainly not going to cry for the collapse of the Empire, fucking Nazis that they are, and none of the other criminal organizations seem both able and willing to make any kind of major play.

...Though that doesn't preclude groups from outside the city, does it. You could have people from New York or Boston or whatever decide that some expansion is in order. Hmm.

Oh he's doing a real estate scheme, okay. So now we're in a Ryo ga Gotoku main plot. This is a lot easier to follow, I just have to keep an eye out for the Millennium Tower

...Also, Taylor. Are you confident this man isn't also putting moles in the Protectorate and PRT? Like, c'mon now. Bribing government employees works no matter the agency. I'm not gonna say it's beneath the Protectorate's notice, far from it, but a web this intricate means there's no way he's not accounting for multiple angles

...Okay so in The Order of the Stick, there's a sideplot involving a group of former adventurers who realized that they could take over most of a continent through an everchanging map of alliances, conquests, and treachery, with all of them acting as the hidden powers behind multiple thrones and keeping up the appearance that there was no singular rule, so that their own control over the territory had multiple points of failure.

Coil's plan sounds... similar. He's trying to carve up the city between multiple lieutenants who themselves belong to different organizations, with him as the secret mastermind at the heart of it all. Main difference in these two plans is, of course, that Coil is only one man, and also that he's telling his puppets ahead of time that he's the actual shot-caller.

It's not a terrible plan? It's not super complicated at least, but then that's only the criminal side of the city; I'm not sure how he would expect to play all sides off each other with sufficient balance to keep all his pieces on the board (or keep the pieces in line if he decided to make a sacrifice play with one of them).

Anyway. Coil making his appeals to each individual member. Bitch gets more resources to care for her dogs, Regent... something with his old man. I don't know if Coil is reading his wants exactly right on this one.

Hmm. Guess that's the best reassurance that can be provided, not that it feels reassuring still.

Okay so Coil is offering to wave his magic wand and settle the matter of Aisha's custody for Grue, that much lines up. What's the benefit he's offering Tattletale? It can't just be money or power, that's too simple and I don't think any of the Undersiders are that simple in their wants. I don't even think it's true of Regent, much as he's trying to play the lazy hedonist role.

Little funny that Skitter being respected enough to afford silence while she thinks is the exact opposite of what she wants right now.

And it's interesting that she can't pull up a wish that Coil feels like confirming. "Bettering the city" is vague enough that there can be disagreements, and it's the kind of thing with no quick results which means a lot of patience. Obviously it's because Taylor only ever tried to become a hero and the villain thing was... I don't know if "accident" is the right word, but definitely unforeseen, but that sense of higher purpose is still firmly in place.

He's sounding entirely too cool about this, and I hate it. There's no way this man doesn't have a thousand hooks and caveats waiting out of sight, he literally described himself as being able to control destiny and wants to control all crime.

Yeah probably a huge pain in the ass to do finances as a supervillain, huh.

Also what the fuck kind of name is Number Man?

Yay, sloughing puppies

Not to steal a well-worn metaphor from another superhero story, but here and now Taylor is the dog that finally caught a car and is only now realizing "oh shit, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now"

This can only go well

Current Thoughts

Man I hate Coil's entire fucking vibe. He's scummy, entirely too sure of his abilities and resources, and I don't trust a man who acts this overdramatic and this reasonable at the same time. I also don't fully trust a guy who insists on having his meetings in a limousine, or who insists on using teenaged girls as his proxies, and I'm sure I'm going to get even more reasons to hate his rancid ass as time moves on.

Side note, Tattletale, I'm like pretty sure you could be doing better than working for this guy. Blink three times if you need help.

...Wait, shit, there's no way they can keep playing at the small fry game now, is there? They tweaked the nose of the entire Protectorate in front of a bunch of rich and important people. He made them prove their abilities in a way that involves dire repercussions in the event that they back down after the deed is done. Motherfucker.

And just to think that this isn't even going to be the worst conversation in this arc.