#like not even close to the same
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Talked with the ex today. I don’t think she knows how to handle this when I’m not being a psycho like I was last time. I’m proud of the way I’ve been able to behave tho. I’m still sad but I’m in a way better place than the last time this all happened. I just wish shit could be easier. But she said bye when she left so…progress?
#I’m genuinely concerned for her#she hasn’t done anything to take care of her mental health throughout any of this#I know it’s only officially been a week#but I’m kinda scared for her#I let her know I’m still here and I care tho#I cant go into details#but long story short#I told her I’d still get back with her#maybe I’m dumb for wanting to#I just really fucking love her tho#she was warned she would not be getting the same Salem (not my real name)#like not even close to the same#and I’d have very big expectations#and firm boundaries#I just cant unlove her yet tho#everyone around me will probably call me an idiot for it#but I’d take her back in a heartbeat#she’s still my everything despite everything we went through#I hate it so much but I can’t fight it either#I just have to keep moving forward#especially when I’m doing so well all things considered#I just wish things could’ve been different#I had such big plans for this whole month#and I never got that chance#it sucks but life goes on I guess#breakups are shit man#my room looks like a landfill because I packed all my stuff that was in what is now her room#most of it is in the basement#but there’s so much shit up here too
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Vanessa made her suit for the FNAF mimic..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#tiger rock#mimic#the mimic#fnaf mimic#secret of the mimic#help wanted 2#fnaf hw2#tales of the pizzaplex#THE UPDATEEE FROM HW2#IM so excited for what’s coming next in the series#it’s genuinely so cool we will get more context of the mimic but of Edwin and David too#I may draw some stuff with them at a later time#but I wanted to draw something for the obvious connection#that Vanny looks like the tiger rock plush#same eyes and sewn parts#she even has paws like tiger rock which Glitchtrap never even had#I love the idea Vanny and the mimic were ‘close’#in the sense she was trying to prove herself to them#all the lines that originally worked with the glitchafton theory#works way better with glitchmimic now#idk steelwool cooked
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When a fanfic writer puts a nickname you think Is icky in their smut fic
#im not even kidding i was reading a fanfic the other day and they had the character call the reader baby cakes right before they got naked.#like legitimately#in the same sentence as them taking their clothes off#i closed it out as soon as i read it#i really just said “nope”#fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#supernatural x reader#avengers x reader#aemond targaryen x reader#anakin skywalker x reader#steve rogers x reader#konig x reader#captain john price x reader#logan howlet x reader#charles xavier x reader#fred weasley x reader#george weasly x reader#james potter x reader#remus lupin x reader#sirius black x reader#regulus black x female reader#regulus black x reader#tony stark x reader#wade wilson x reader#luke castellan x reader
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does the bbc even understand how much money they’d make if the made a Disney Enchanted 2007 style Merlin sequel where Merlin has been alive, moving from place to place, magicking himself young and aging then moving and magicking himself younger and aging then moving and suddenly Arthur pops out of a lake, completely unaware of current events and is walking around demanding his manservant, claiming to be King Arthur Pendragon and he either
a. Gets on the news somehow and Merlin, doing whatever he’s doing now, sees and drops everything because WHAT IS ARTHUR DOING HERE AND ALIVE
b. Meets Merlin who has been working as a detective somewhere -because that’s basically what he did anyway-solving things and helping people, the family business, and Arthur is dragged in, handcuffed, and plopped in an interrogation room or the drunk tank with the cop who found him saying like This wacko thinks he’s some medieval king, go deal with him, and Merlin scoffs and walks in, promptly dropping his files and spilling his coffee when he sees a disheveled and petulant Arthur, who goes Merlin, finally, get me out of here already, will you and Merlin starts crying lmaooo
or c. Meets Merlin who has been working at an ER because, again, he was physician adjacent, and someone drags a wet Arthur in, like Found this, it looks like he might hypothermiate deal with him, and Merlin sees him, drops his files, spills his coffee, and starts crying hahaha
because I’m thinking that’d be fun and probably everyone on tumblr and everyone who knows someone on tumblr would go bonkers over it
#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin bbc#merthur#arthur#arthur pendragon#arthur x merlin#king arthur#merlin emrys#merlin rewatch#merlin x arthur#Merlin sequel#Not an AU but close#And Merlin has developed an Irish accent#And he has to teach him how to be a modern human man#my post#And Arthur doesn’t remember what happened to him then Merlin is like you were killed I saw it#And then arthur is like nope don’t remember didn’t happen but it slowly starts coming back to him and he has to unpack that#And he’ll wake up in the middle of the night and Merlin will sit with him even if it’s in the hall outside of a closed room iykyk#not a want but a need#please#The grammatical mistakes are there to add flavour#Same for punctuation mistakes#My post
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she’s like if the virgin mary smoked a pack of pall malls every day 🚬
#sims 4#the sims community#simblr#ts4#sims 4 edit#mysims#drawing/editing these tears took actual years off my life#editing this in general did but the tears were my hell#her name is norma jean named after her grandmother but she goes by either jeanie or jj#she works at the local convenience store and bartends at night when shes able to pick up shifts#shes the worst bartender in existence and refuses to lift anything over 2 pounds#she once convinced a customer to buy her a sweater because she looked a little cold while working#she lied and said her manager never lets them turn on the heat and casually mentioned pennys was selling her favorite sweater#and then described in detail exactly where the sweater was in the store#all she had to do was blink her big brown eyes and call them baby a few times and they immediately folded#she goes to church 7 days a week even though she hates it because that's what she did when her mom was still alive#and its one of the few things that helps her feel close to her mom#her mom died after she had to drop out of highschool to take care of her#she holds a lot of resentment for having to give up such a big part of her life#but at the same time blames herself for not being able to make her mom better#she doesnt believe in banks and hides money around her house to store it but she's also super forgetful#she'll randomly find money around the house and then treat herself like it was present she meant to leave for her future self#she loves crosswords but treats it like a fun game and refuses to check if her answers are ever right#there's ur fun little facts about jeanie 🫵🏼
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ENERGETIC ⚡️
you make me feel so high
#atsuoikage#haikyuu#oikawa tooru#kageyama tobio#miya atsumu#oikage#atsuoi#haikyuu!!#they are not any specific member i just chose based on shot composition and vibes#so pls dont come at me saying u think so and so should be X member instead of Y member#I just want the vibes of them being on a competition show like p101 and then debuting together bc i think them being the JP members tgt#would be very sweet and help bridge some animosity or rival tension that exists like they are competing but also#they feel solace in eos presence being from same culture same language etc#tobio looooooves oikawa HAHA hes sooo starry eyed over him... tobio calling oikawa hyung im gonna kill myself#atsumu and oikawa get close maybe after iwaizumi gets eliminated maybe earlier/midway in the show? bc tsumu understands what it feels like#to suddenly pursue ur dream alone.. samu maybe trained with tsumu at same company but quit before they even enrolled on the show#atsumu being the mediator whenever oikage bicker LOL#oikawa being stressed af and snapping at tobio and tobio is so sad tsumu is like there there... ill go talk to oikawa hell come around itok#ats comforting oikw like telling him to ignore the netizen / bad edit etc and calming him down slowly and getting oikw to apologize to tobio#also tobio crawling into oikawas bed in the dorms to sleep with him at night and oikawa wants to complain but likes cuddling... deep downLOL
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So does anybody else ever think about how Loop felt the need to demonstrate that the party's deaths wouldn't have any effect on the loops. I know I do but that's besides the point. Anyway I don't think Loop actually needs to bathe, they just like to feel included.
#'but lucabyte didnt you already do a comic with this exact same message? that loop has potentially killed their party intentionally before?'#yes i did absolutely do that thank you for noticing. that is what the cannibalism comic is about. no that was not a metaphor. lol#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#lucabyteart#ill ramble elsewhere some other time. maybe in a text post. but. long and short of it: even if you assume the answer to 'how do they know'#is that in sasasap isa got frozen once. theres still the fact that the loops are from sif being too distressed. how far gone does a siffrin#have to be before they can witness a party member die and notice it has no effect. how does loop feel to have planned to kill the party#during act 3. why did they NEED to show sif that. are they trying to preemtively stop them from getting the idea in their head#that maybe that might work? when they're out of all other options? when they just get so frustrated and at wits end?#loop helps in subtle ways through the whole game. and in less subtle ways like begging sif not to use the dagger. and while yes the#overarching reason you need to learn that the loops are tied to sif is because you need to figure out wish craft.... loop doesn't know the#actual mechanics of the loops themselves. just what didn't work. the power of friendship. getting the final hit in. being perfect. etc...#and besides all that.. how did loop feel during that hangout. being so deceitful. especially since before the other shoe drops#sif is enjoying themselves. but they know what's coming the whole time.#as for: why bathing? its the obvious imagery for blood on their hands/washing/never being clean. and is a bit of an inversion of the other#piece i just drew with the other casual closeness and nudity being kind. this one is cruel instead.#anyway tag ramble over ill do a masterpost of all my fanwork with some directors commentary sometime i promise. since i know im often vague
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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what ive learned so far
#my art#elden ring#elden ring dlc#elden ring sote#shadow of the erdtree#messmer#messmer the impaler#every time i try to draw him i think ive drawn him Wide Enough and then i look at a ref and realize its not even close#hes so wide shouldered and thin at the same time. beautiful boy but damn is he hard for me to draw LOL#but i make the effort... for my beloved..#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#eventually ill learn how to draw his armor and red over cloak but for now. i like his dress#as soon as i learn how to draw him comfortably without needing refs i will draw him x my oc i swear this#fanart
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Billford being canon is so funny because it low-key makes Stanley the protective sibling who doesn't know his brother's new boyfriend, but he doesn't like what said boyfriend has been doing to his brother and wants them to break up.
And then when his brother's shitty ex comes back with a plot to destroy the world but it's really just to get his brother's attention, he punches his brother's shitty ex directly in the face and tells him to get bent.
#the reason Stanley didn't take Ford's attempt to protect the shack seriously is bc he doesnt take Bill seriously#like after seeing how pathetic he was and how low he had to drag Stanford to even be close to the same level#Stanley could not take his triangular ass seriously until he started threatening his kids I MEAN NIECE AND NEPHEW#gravity falls#billford#book of bill#stanley pines#stanford pines#bill cipher
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the reason poolverine is so appealing is also because in all of his two-decade run in the xmcu they have given logan some of the most boring and rushed relationships with women (because it was the 2000s and the mold that they followed for rugged manly protagonists meant an astounding lack of chemistry between them and their love interests in favor of giving them the "dead wife who has a montage at the beginning of the movie" treatment etc etc) and then they put him in a 2 hour long film with a guy even more insane and fucked up than him and they matched each other beat for beat. say what you want about the mcu but they achieved a level of chemistry between logan and wade that fox couldn't reach in 20 years with like four different love interests. which is also a petition for them to either go the gay route or finally let logan find a woman he has good chemistry with and who can pass the bechdel test
#the only who came close to having good chemistry with logan was mariko and i could tell because when i watched the wolverine#and i saw them kiss i didn't have the same visceral disappointment i did whenever jean showed up in her dead wife attire#and like that film is meh but out of all of logan's love interests i liked her the most#she was a good character and they had good interactions#but even then can you even compare that to wade and logan on their film#anyways if you can't tell i am rewatching some stuff with the newly added context of the new movie#logan howlett#xmcu#poolverine#(also this is only about the movies i know nothing about the comics don't come at me)
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MAYA AND CARINA STATION 19: 7x10 'One Last Time'
#station 19#station19edit#station 19 spoilers#carina x maya#carina deluca#maya bishop#mine#i liked this scene and the kiss and everything#and we did get a glimpse of carina saying she was worried#but how does she not find out just how close maya was to dying??#and maya expressing how scared she was almost losing everything??#like that was such a missed opportunity IMO#and having them both at the same scene again only to not interact...like why?#its crazy to me how maya was just fine after what she went through but then andy collapsed and we didn't even see what happened to her prio#such a missed opportunity to not have carina work on maya and have her more injured later on but...story of this show's life i suppose#no sense in staying angry now when it's all over#this scene was very them and i'm glad about that
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Quite frankly still obsessed with the three of them
A little procrastination doodle
#one piece#portgas d ace#sabo#monkey d luffy#it’s 5 am and I do not have the time to be spending on procrastination doodles but that is neither here nor there#ft. my headcanons for their outfits as kiddos but not really because I think this is pretty close to canon#oversized jacket for sabo because I refuse to believe he has worn the same clothes after being a runaway for at least a few years#like kids grow so fast and I can see undersized jacket for that as well but I feel like undersized would just be uncomfy and restricting#straw hat is definitely too big for 7 year old luffy so I hc it goes around his neck more often than not#or sabo or ace gets annoyed at luffy for having his eyes blocked all the time while they’re fighting each other or hunting so they#eventually get luffy to wear it around his neck more#also you can’t convince me that the fuzz on luffy’s shorts is like… actual fur#I think it’s more like very frayed edges of denim if you know what I mean#ace with baggy pants because it’s what he deserves. baggy pants ftw#also probably bigger pockets for his pickpocketing#sabo complains about noble clothes like girls complain about small pockets#‘what are they even supposed to hold. why are they so tight. this is just them trying to get us to buy expensive bags’
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Nightwing's car guy
Dick was doing well to establish himself in Bludhaven. He had an apartment, it was shitty but it was his. He had a day job as police officer, half the people there were in the cartels Nightwing was trying to crack down on, and the other half were in the cartels Nightwing was still trying to trace. He had his suit, still bat-grade, blue instead of the red, yellow, and green Jason got to wear now.
He did't have a cave. Or maybe it should be a nest because the whole bird thing. Burrow? What was the thing owls lived in called? The point is he made due without it. He had his apartment, and he had his supplies stashed away. It wasn't as much as in the Cave, but he didn't have Cave-funding. He could make due.
He didn't have an Oracle in his ear. But that came with the added bonus of not having a Bat either. He could do his own research, find his own information. And it wasn't like he and Babs were totally cut off. It was just only a little weird, because she was technically his ex. Sure she would be in his corner, but she was still his ex. He needed to save some face. Especially since he knew that Bruce and Babs liked to... talk. He could make due.
The only thing Dick was maybe, sorta, just maybe having a little trouble was with his bike. Well it wasn't his bike, it was Nightwing's. Which was precisely the trouble. He'd found a place to stash it, but Dick had never been a car guy... or in this case a bike guy. He would chase his rouges, speeding through the streets, and sure the bike was made for the tight corners and quick turns and the high speeds, and sure it could take a hit or two. But what about three or four? Or five?
Point was Dick needed a car- a bike guy. One that was cheap (he was only a cop), and knew how to not ask questions and keep his mouth shut (again- Nightwing's bike). All that on top of knowing enough on how to fix his bike. (it wasn't exactly the type you could find in store).
But the solution seemed to find him. Which Dick was aware was not generally how it worked, but he would count his blessings. He had been out on patrol, the type that had involved his bike and high speeds. Unfortunately it did not involve the perp in handcuffs and on his way to jail. Dick had been on his tail, could've had him too, if the bike hadn't started sputtering. Dick had done as much as he could for it, but she really needed a pair of eyes that actually knew what they were looking at.
Mumbling curses to himself, Nightwing had been ready to head off to at least catch a dust trail of what operation he'd find himself in next. He could feel the eyes watching him. His hair stood in edge, and when Nightwing turned to look around he couldn't see anyone. Maybe he was being haunted. Trying to arrange his bearings, Nightwing turned back around to get on his bike. When there was suddenly a mop of choppy black hair couched down next to it.
Nightwing blinked at him. How had he managed to get there? "Uh, something you need, man?" Nightwing asked the boy, totally not freaked out.
The boy- teen, he was only a year or two younger than Dick- looked up, large blue eyes staring. As if it was odd for Nightwing to have addressed him. It took him a moment longer to realize that the bike was, in fact, Nightwing's. "You need to change your [important engine part]." He pointed lamely, standing up to his height of only a hair shorter than Dick.
"How do you know that?" Nightwing asked before he could think of the danger the unknown person might pose.
"That's why it was making that sound. It'll put too much pressure on the engine so it won't be able to go as fast it would be otherwise. Which, I take it, would cause you problems." he tipped his head in the direction the rouge had run off in.
Nightwing considered it for just a moment, not wanting the perfect opportunity to get away from him. "Do you know how to fix it?"
The guy looked almost offended, "Yeah."
"I'll pay you." Nightwing jumped at the opportunity, "If you fix it."
Any normal person would've said no to a guy dressed in bullet-proof spandex with a blue bird on his chest and a weird mask. "Sure." He shrugged easily, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes as he eyed the vehicle. After a moment, "Name's Danny, by the way. You'd probably need to know that." Danny eyes his suit, "Who are you, like, blue-jay?"
"Nightwing." He corrected easily, his name hadn't made the streets yet.
"The Robin reject?" Was Danny immediate response, eyebrow arched up in amusement.
"The what?"
Danny grimaced, the laugh never leaving his face, "Ooh, sorry. Touchy subject?"
"I am not a Robin reject." Dick couldn't tell this civilian that he was Robin. Had been.
Nightwing's bike ran better than it had since he had moved to Bludhaven after Danny had gotten his hands on it. And Danny's payment of ("i don't trust ur money, just buy me food") lunch had been a steal in return. Maybe next time they should go somewhere a little nicer.
Because the bike was doing so well, after Danny fixed it.
Not for any other reason.
#dpxdc#danny fenton#danny phantom#danny and dick#batfam#dick grayson#batpham#dick his trying to build his crew in bludhaven and danny was the first recruit#danny is currently homeless at 18#but he finally gets a job at an actual mechanic place and gets an apartment#happens to be the same one dick is living in#dick: hm i should greet my new neighbor#dick doesn't know how to feel abt danny (who he totally is not crushing on) moving so close#for work reasons#obviously#it's a uh- reads script- conflict of civilian safety#danny is kinda weirded out by civilian dick#who just keeps trying to find excuses to hang out#since danny's new to town and he's new to town#danny's like 18#and dick is 19#i've been on a danny and dick craze recently#if u couldn't tell from my dick-centric last posts lmao#even the one that was supposed to be abt konner ended up being abt dick#feel free to add
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I genuinely don't think Curly would be as caring for Jimmy as some people depict him in aus where Jimmy gets stuck and burned rather than Curly.
I feel like the realization would truly hit in that moment of what Jimmy did and how bad it was as Curly desperately tries to get him out of the cockpit. He's trying to break in to save Jimmy, but is he? All the thoughts in his head; Jimmy's trying to kill them all, Jimmy's trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy raped Anya, Jimmy's going to die trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy trying to kill them all because of what he did to Anya, and sort of a final Jimmy did this. Is he trying to save him or trying to figure out why? Trying to finally make him take accountability? You can't hold trial for a dead man. Does he want Jimmy to die? Not really, but it'd be easier than figuring out where they go after this. After they drag him out and get his set up in medical and Jimmy refuses to look at anyone but him.
He's the only one who is truly willing to care for Jimmy. I don't think he's keeping him alive for the same reasons, just he can't bring himself to put him down. He wants answers, he wants to be mad. This is the first time he can talk to Jimmy and not have anything spun back at him but he can't get a response. He's never really been able to but for the first time Jimmy actually has to listen and he'll never know if he's actually listening to him this time. It reminds him too much of not understanding Anya. Anya has to care for him and he doesn't want her too, she shouldn't have to but they can't just let him die, can they? Should they? It's easier than hearing him in pain but that's a reminder he did this... even if Curly allowed it to happen.
No one seems to have thoughts on it but him and Anya. They know the reason he crashed the ship but they don't get the logic. Anya does actually, but Curly has to admit he does to. Has to admit he's always known Jimmy's logic behind things, things that need to be "fixed" but he's always taken responsibility and fixed it himself. The first time he really let Jimmy take responsibility and he couldn't, he can't fix anything and Curly know he can't either. He looks at Jimmy and sees every mistake but now he's wondering how many of Jimmy's he's been tacking on to his own. How different are they?
What should he had done to stop it? Maybe this should've happened to him...
Curly doesn't like those thoughts and how they only come when he's stuck with Jimmy, like he's always done to himself. He's way too gentle when he gives Jimmy his pills, too mindful of teeth that always gave him hollow smiles. A tongue that always told half truths, while he held his own. He holds his jaw too kindly and thinks about all the times he's clenched his and smiled for his friends sake. For Jimmy's sake. Jimmy still swallows the pills and struggles, whines like it's not his fault.
He hoped it hurt.
And he's a little scared that he's a little too okay thinking that.
#just i dont think hed sit and that med bay and remines hes staring Jimmy down with anger for the first time in their friendship#whatever tatters of it are left hes letting himself be angry at Jimmy and he cant even give a consequence he doesn't even know how aware or#lucid or able Jimmy is to really grasp all this the sentimental part of him hopes not at all but the part of him thats taken his crap for#all these years that let him get away with so much to him and sadly to others? He wants him awake and aware for every moment like I feel#like hed get close to hitting Jimmy like this and stop himself as he realizes he needs to talk to someone cause he has very no healthy#feelings about himself and Jimmy and the situation and the whole scenerio is defined by him being scared to do the same things that Jimmy#does and just trying to accept that Jimmy was never there for him and he was there for him too much and trying really hard to do right by#everyone else but espcially Anya who'd he have more guilt about than Jimmy obvi but how much of it is him taking responsibility for Jimmy v#the already extreme guilt of not knowing if his crew will get out alive is debatable like he'd want to kill himself but not think he's#deserving and its just him being like okay guys captain curly's got this and then crying while he locks himself in the cockpit#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#jimmy mouthwashing
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I’ve discovered my favorite genre of Bagginshield art is where Thorin is a lovesick idiot who is Losing It and Bilbo is unbothered or oblivious to Thorin’s suffering LMAO
#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#if anyone has more please send it to me I have like four rn#I know I made a post a while back talking about how I wish there were more posts that focused on each of their lives outside of each other#and I still stand by that but I also can’t deny the fun in a Important Dwarf like Thorin turning into an idiot around Bilbo#tbh this works even platonically. this guy has friends bc he’s lucky not bc he’s actually friendly#so I can imagine becoming friends with Bilbo is like ‘fuck now I have to be nice bc he WILL actually leave. uh. oh god’#love men who are grouchy and offputting <3#and Bilbo is oblivious not as a flaw but bc he’s just not wired that way and he’s just accepting that Thorin is weird#bc he has no basis of which to assume he isn’t just Like That sometimes same way the dwarves don’t know shit abt hobbits#and it’s not as like. Bilbo being extremely innocent either he’s just not thinking about it LMAO#and Bilbo Also doesn’t have a ton of friends (different reasons but he IS also grouchy and petty) and he’s just ‘?? ok’#they’re both fucking stupid and everyone around them is dying and in anguish#I particularly enjoy when a character who is emotionally constipated and stoic and whatever just starts losing it#not even necessarily in a sappy or angsty way just. those emotions gotta come out eventually#so for a guy like Thorin who takes himself seriously and is very closed off emotionally it’s fun to just imagine that facade cracking#meanwhile Bilbo is just like ‘you ok??’#Bilbo himself has some emotional issues so it’s double the entertainment
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