#like name one lyric in that song that isn’t out of pocket

[lncomfortable]

i LOVE hits different but lyrically that song is so unhinged

[suashii]

— 𝓂𝓎 𝑔𝒾𝓇𝓁 ౨ৎ

boothill x f!reader. 1.9k wc. ﾉ sfw ﾉ  fluff ﾉ non-canon compliant ﾉ farmhand!boothill ﾉ reader is intoxicated ﾉ pet names ( little lady, darlin’, sweetheart ) ﾉ jealous boothill :3

a/n: this is an extra to my farmhand boothill series but can be read as a standalone :)

“woah, you might wanna slow down, little lady.” boothill’s voice sounds in your ear, louder than the cacophony of music and competing voices in the cramped bar. the vibration sends a chill down your spine and you giggle as you lean away from him—though the task proves to be a bit difficult with his arm wrapped around you. you should be glad he’s holding onto you, otherwise you would have ended up on the sticky floor trying to create some distance.

it’s been a while since you’ve been out to a bar, since you’ve had alcohol at all, really. that much is abundantly clear to boothill as he watches you from your side. your head is beginning to loll to the side, your eyelashes lazily kiss the tops of your cheeks with every flutter of your drooping eyelids, and there’s a lazy smile pulling at your lips. the man would be lying if he said the sight wasn’t endearing, but his plan for tonight hadn’t been for you to get drunk.

work has been stressful for you the past week, he’s noticed, so his intention for the night was simply to loosen you up and maybe teach you how to shoot pool to get your mind off the demands of the job, but it seems that boothill severely overestimated your alcohol tolerance. there’s no way he’ll be able to teach you the game without you tipping over and he certainly doesn’t trust you to hold a pool cue in this state.

“i think we’ve had enough fun here tonight,” boothill tells you, sitting you up with one arm and waving down the bartender with another. he asks the woman behind the bar for a glass of water and a personal request—that she keep an eye on you for a short moment. she fulfills both of his asks, sliding a glass sweating with condensation in front of you and telling boothill to go take care of his business. “drink this and don’t get up from this seat, alright? i’ll be right back, darlin’.”

“where are you going?” you ask, dipping your head down to take the straw between your lips. you glance up at him with curiosity swimming in your eyes as you take slow sips of the cold water.

“bathroom.” he sets a heavy hand on your head, smoothing your hair down. “i’ll be quick, promise.”

“mkay,” you hum. your focus turns to the cup in front of you, eyes following the way the water level lessens with each of your sips. boothill snorts—it doesn’t look like you’ll be getting into any trouble in the few minutes he’ll be gone.

you’re only able to tell he’s left when the weight on your head disappears.

without his voice and touch to ground you, your mind wanders. a song you haven’t heard before but you’re sure boothill has fills the room. balls from the pool table clank together and thud when they drop into the pockets. and the voices—there are much too many to really focus on any. a group of girls drunker than you belt along to the song, though, the lyrics they sing are partially delayed. a man swears while another hoots in celebration signaling the end of a game at one of the green tables.

“are you here by yourself, pretty girl?” the voice is far closer than any others you hear and despite it not being one you’re familiar with, you spin the stool you’re seated on in its direction at one of the many names boothill has settled on calling you. long white hair that grows darker at the tips doesn’t greet you, however, a man has filled the seat to your right.

it takes his consistent stare for you to register that his question was directed at you.

“no.” you shake your head and it feels like your brain wobbles with it. you speak loud enough so that you can hear yourself, so that you don’t stumble over your words. “my boyfriend is with me.”

the man makes a show of looking over your shoulder to the empty seat behind you. “this boyfriend of yours isn’t imaginary, is he?”

you cover your mouth with a hand to hide a laugh. what a ridiculous thought, you think. boothill might just be the realest thing you know. there’s no way you could think up his charm, his compassion, his humor—none of it. he’s so unapologetically him that it would be impossible for him to be merely a result of your imagination.

“he’s very real,” you assure the man with a definite nod. “he just went to the bathroom.”

at least, that’s what you think he said.

“well, i can’t imagine leaving a girl as pretty as you all by her lonesome.” the man shoots you a smile but it doesn’t make your heart flip like when boothill does. you have a hard time believing anyone besides him could have that effect on you. still, because you’re polite and happy, you offer the man a small smile, one that doesn’t meet your eyes. “how about i keep you company while your boyfriend is away?”

your head is light and maybe you aren’t in the best state of mind due to the alcohol, but you’re sober enough to know that it isn’t the best idea to spend time with this unknown man. you prepare to tell him that boothill will be back any minute and that you’re confident that you can fend for yourself until then but the moment you part your lips to do so, that familiar weight is back on your head.

“no need, buddy.” there’s an audible difference in the voice you’ve come to know—it’s deeper, not laced with its usual lighthearted kindness. the stray from his norm is enough to make you look up to meet his eye. his irises are darker, like storm clouds a second away from raging. despite the severity of his gaze, his lips are curled up in a grin, one directed at the man. “my girl doesn’t need your company.”

you try to fight the smile that threatens your lips at the title—my girl.

the man doesn’t share your sentiment. in fact, the smile he had painted on for you all but drops at boothill’s arrival. “i think the lady can speak for herself.”

you can hear boothill’s tongue click in annoyance from above you. his hand has fallen from your head to rest protectively on the small of your back. even without looking at him, you’re sure that the grin he put on simply as a courtesy has disappeared. you wouldn’t be surprised to peer up and find a scowl in its place.

you’ve never seen the nasty side of boothill—never given him a reason to show you. but you don’t doubt that this guy implying that you’d rather stay with him than your boyfriend might be all it takes to turn the gentlemanly farmhand into a problematic patron. the tension between the two is growing with every second so, in an effort to stop boothill from escalating the situation, you hop down from your stool and take a tight hold of his arm.

“we’re gonna go!” you shout over the music, perhaps a little louder than necessary. you tug on boothill’s arm as you start toward the one door of the establishment. he doesn’t resist—he’d much rather leave with you than waste any more time on that asshat.

a rush of evening air hits the both of you as you push the door open, causing goosebumps to break out over your arms almost immediately. the drastic change is welcome, though—you much prefer this over the stuffy warmth of the bar. and something tells you boothill could use the opportunity to cool off.

it doesn’t take you long to reach his truck but the walk is a quiet one. if you weren’t holding onto him, you might not even know he was there. the silence is uncharacteristic but he’s sure to open your door for you like always. he helps you up to your seat but, instead of sitting down properly, you take a seat with your legs dangling out the door. boothill raises a questioning eyebrow.

“are you mad?” you can’t help but pout as you ask him. you didn’t think talking to that guy would be such a big deal but clearly the exchange left a bad taste in boothill’s mouth. you can understand why he had no desire to smile at that man but don’t you deserve his smiles? “i was gonna tell him to go away.”

“i’m not mad, sweetheart.” he places a hand on your knee and gives it a comforting squeeze. the streetlight casts a shadow over his face, hiding a tiny smile that he wears for your sake.

his answer should be satisfying enough but alcohol makes you curious and this curious variant of yours wants to know what’s going on in boothill’s head.

“then… you’re jealous?” you propose. the suggestion draws a chuckle from boothill’s chest. he doesn’t confirm nor deny the silly thought so you continue. “you thought that guy would just swoop in and sweep your darlin’ off her feet?”

boothill knows you’re kidding around but that had been exactly what he thought when he returned to the counter to find someone talking you up. he can’t blame the guy for trying—of course people are drawn to you. he had been the first time he listened to your grandpa speak so fondly of you, even more so when he first laid eyes on you. all that considered, he was still beyond pissed to see someone hitting on you so boldly.

he wished everyone knew you were his.

jealousy… he can’t say he’s ever experienced the feeling. perhaps it calls for a little self-reflection but as far as boothill is concerned, that can wait. he steps closer to you, until there’s barely any space between your knees and his body. a hand comes up to cradle your face, calloused thumb caressing your cheekbone. his next words are meant to be a joke but he finds that he’s hanging on to your answer before he’s even able to ask. “did he? sweep you off your feet?”

“not a chance,” you tell him, the pout from earlier returning to your lips. how absurd, you think, that he would ever entertain such a thought. you’re tempted to flick him, hoping the little gesture will knock some sense into the man, but you don’t. instead, you reach up and around his neck, fingers tangling in the hair at his nape, and pull him close. forehead to forehead, you whisper, “i wouldn’t pick anyone over you.”

the smile you’ve been waiting for—a genuine one, the kind that stretches wide and showcases the imperfections of his teeth—finally takes over boothill’s face. warm breath fans over your face with his hushed laugh. “‘s that so?”

“mhm,” you hum, closing the short distance between you to press a kiss to his lips. he holds you there a bit longer than you intended but you let him, relishing the feeling of his soft lips against yours. he pulls away a moment later, though neither of you makes a move to separate from the other.

“you’re the only one i want, boothill.”

thanks for reading! if u enjoyed, please consider reblogging or commenting ❤︎

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

The Wisdom Saga: My Thoughts

Hey all!!!! Here are my thoughts on the Wisdom Saga from EPIC: The Musical!

Overall it isn’t my favorite (Circe/Thunder my beloveds), but it’s still pretty good imho!

Legendary

Love how upbeat this one is. MICO as Telemachus is VERY good, and I especially liked the little trembles/voice cracks (?) as he sang! Gave Tem a “young” vibe.

also loved that “L-L-L-L-Legendary” lol

ITS THE ANIMATIC FROM THE REFERENCE VIDEO :D

The Suitors’ voices 👌 also ANTINUOUS JUMPSCARE. HOW DARE YOU CALL PENELOPE A TRAMP WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE TRYING TO GET INTO HER BED.

Antinuous’s lines are the perfect ick. The ToA Discord and I were all typing out various amounts of EW, ICKY, GET OUT at his parts.

Fight Little Wolf

This is possibly my favorite from this saga! I’ve been looking forward to this one for a while, and I was really excited for it! Athena coming in was brilliant and I love it :3

We’ll Be Fine

ATHENA CALLED ODYSSEUS FRIEND. OWIE.

Anybody else pick up on a similar melody to Open Arms? Because ow.

Love In Paradise

LOVED the flashbacks at the beginning!

The unhingedness Gigi gave Calypso LMAO Zero social interaction does that to you lol

“Last I checked goddesses can’t die!” Stream gets censored

I PANICKED AT THAT LMAO

all I hear are screams…the ptsd is real

“Stay in my open arms” and then IMMEDIATELY triggering an Open Arms reprise. HOW DARE YOU JAY.

NOT ONLY THAT. BUT ALSO EURYLOCUS REPRISING LUCK RUNS OUT AND ANTICLEA’S WAITING. OUCH.

God Games

This is in battle with Little Wolf for favorite Wisdom Saga song lol

THE INTRODUCTION TO THE GODS SLAPPED. WOLFY YOU WONDERFUL WOLF THAT WAS AWESOME.

APOLLO GIVING A LIL BOW AND CASUALLY WAVING TO (us) HIS ADORING FANS (also us)

don’t mind me fangirling he’s my favorite and he was GORGEOUS

Hephaestus being voiced by Jorge’s dad!!!!

I really liked how Luke Holt delivered Ares’s name. Very gritty and perfect I love <3

APOLLO’S LITTLE SMIRK WHEN HE SAYS “GREAT.” I’M DEAD I’VE DIED RIP ALDER

APOLLOOOOOOOOO

his part was sadly short, but honestly? It makes sense why it would be! Apollo really has no beef with Odysseus, and the Sirens are a little out of pocket, like he was assigned to play the game but is throwing Athena an easy thing to counter so he can get back to Orestes and also Athena owes him a solid so EPIC’s explanation for Athena helping Apollo in the Oresteia? 👀 I’m a nerd connecting the dots leave me be

“If that’s true then release him 🙄💅” Apollo has no time for this bullshit he’s like “come on dad why did you pull ME into this?” Lmaoooo

Hephaestus’s part about trust!! I love. Also the lyricism here and in Apollo’s is very very good <3

APHRODITE. Unlike Apollo and Hephaestus, who were rather quick to support Athena, she’s moments away from going “no ♥️💋”

ARES’S ENTRANCE WAS SPETACULAR NO NOTES I LOVE

DISCO HERA!! ANNIFLAMMA THAT WAS SO GOOD AHHHHHHH THE STYLE THE SWAG THE SASS 100/10

THUNDER BRINGER REPRISE AHHHHHH WITH BEAST MODE ZEUS

Also Athena ain’t dead lol she comes back in King isn’t it? Also she’s a GOD. Who CAN’T DIE.

I’ve seen criticism about Zeus attacking Athena, and about how he wouldn’t do that because she’s a favorite…but the thing is, in The Iliad, he does threaten to blast her and Hera off their chariots at one point…plus Apollo’s a favorite too, and he was nearly thrown into Tartarus by Zeus! Being the favorite doesn’t automatically mean you can get away with anything and everything, so I headcanon that Zeus got a bit more peeved than usual because of just how quickly Athena swayed the others (this can connect to the Odyssey then too, because the majority of the gods already agreed that Odysseus had suffered enough and were quite willing to let him go).

I have additional thoughts on God Games, but that’s for another post since it detracts from the actual livestream, but overall I really enjoyed this one! It’s the first livestream I’ve seen in full, though I do think Thunder Saga was more impactful to watch (I watched that livestream too, but came in at the end of No Longer You).

Two sagas to go!! I’ll be updating my tier list sometime soon as well, so stay tuned for that!!

[gaarasfiance]

Cardigan

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem Reader (version of jason isn’t mentioned but i wrote it with his original storyline death from Batman: A Death In The Family, not a later, retconned version)

Warnings: angst but also fluff, reader is a famous singer, use of Y/N, pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess, lmk if i missed any), swearing, makes references to other songs (Lover by Taylor Swift, Lucky People by Waterparks, and Favorite Record by Fall Out Boy), i reread this like 8 times but i couldve missed things so don't flame me if theres any fuck ups in there lmao

Word Count: 4,175

A/N: (yes i know cardigan is part of the teenage love triangle songs, yes i made it into somewhat fluff because i fucking wanted to, whats it to you? I was just listening to cardigan (by taylor swift if you were unaware) in the shower and had this beautiful idea of like what if rather than it being about getting cheated on, i make it about the reader experiencing Jason’s death (and resurrection)? also i color coded the dialogue which is something i normally don't do soooo fun little touch i guess.) (originally posted may 22, 2023 on an alternate account)

IMPORTANT NOTE: Italics mean it’s a flashback, bold and bigger means it's a song lyric, regular text means it's happening in real time. (with very obvious exceptions) Cool? Cool. also, real quick, THE FLASHBACKS ARE NOT IN PERFECT CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!!

“HELLO GOTHAM CITY!” The crowd roared in excitement. Y/N was excited too, it was her first show in Gotham in a long time. This was her first tour in a long time. Of course, she let the public think that it was just because she was a teenager focusing on school, not because when she was 16 her first love the love of her life had been brutally murdered…

“It’s really nice to be playing a hometown show, and since this is my first one in forever, how about I play you something brand new?” Screams erupted in the audience, people pulling out their phones to get the first recording of a brand new song. 

“This one means a lot to me, it’s about someone very special to me, and how he came back to me when I needed him most. This is a quieter one so I'm gonna need you all to listen, and please don’t judge me if I cry during this. Alright, this one’s called ‘cardigan’ everybody!” 

Rows and rows of people buzzed with excitement as the music began to play.

~

Vintage tee, brand new phone

Y/N and Jason walked in, strutting about as if they were models in the new vintage tees Y/N had bought for them at the thrift store just days before. They strolled about the mall, eventually making the stop to get Jason a new phone, he had dropped his from a rooftop on patrol the night before. Oops. 

“Jay, baby, you can’t just use Bruce’s credit card without asking all the time” Y/N smiled, knowing Jason wasn’t going to listen to her 

“Says who? Besides, I told him I was taking it. If he didn’t want to pay for me to get a new phone, he should’ve given me a secure pocket in the suit for it like I asked.” Jason shrugged. He wasn’t atrociously rebellious at all times, but he knew Bruce had more than enough money for him to get a new phone, and to treat his girlfriend, and best friend, when he wanted to. “Plus, if I didn’t take his card, I wouldn’t be able to spoil you, would I?” He wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her temple as they walked out of the store.

High heels on cobblestone

Y/N’s heels clicked loudly against the cobblestone walkway as she made her way to the entrance of the Wayne gala, arm linked with Jason’s. 

“Are you sure I look alright? I’ve never worn a dress this fancy Jason. Should I even be at a Wayne gala I mean–” Jason cut her off.

“Sweetheart you look perfect. And if anyone tells you otherwise I will personally ask Bruce to kick them out.”

“Jay, you can’t do that.”

“According to who? I have adopted Wayne privilege and you’re the one who’s Bruce’s favorite”

“I am not Bruce’s favorite!”

“Yes you are, princess.”

He dragged her into the gala, excited to spend a night with her, and after that, her first Wayne gala was nothing but history, as she attended every single one at her lover’s side.

When you are young they assume you know nothing

“That boy is a delinquent Y/N! I doubt you even know anything about him, has he even told you how he came to meet Mr Wayne?” Y/N’s father shouted. He’d never liked Jason, despite him being Y/N’s best friend for years before things ever became romantic. She used to be able to avoid it, but when her mom moved out of state for work and Y/N wanted to stay in Gotham… well this was her only option.

“Yes dad, I know how he met Bruce! You realize I knew him long before he was adopted by Bruce Wayne right? That I didn’t just go for him because he was rich? You assume because I’m young that I know nothing!”

“Clearly you don’t know anything if you would choose to be with a boy who is a thief! He tried to steal Mr. Wayne’s tires!”

“He was trying to steal them because he was living on the streets and needed money to fucking eat, Dad! Clearly you’re the one who knows nothing here!”

She stormed out of the house, furiously texting Jason and trying to will away the angry tears. 

Sequined smile, black lipstick

Y/N grinned at Jason, her black lipstick fresh as they prepared to go to a party. Bruce had cleared Jason of Robin duty for the weekend and they’d decided to take time to enjoy being normal teenagers. 

“What do you think?” She asked, still smiling

“I think… I’m really tempted to kiss that lipstick right off of you”

“Come do it then.”

Sensual politics

“Do you ever think about sensual politics?” Y/N looked up at Jason, her head in his lap as he read a book.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘sensual politics’?”

“Like the politics of being flirtatious or like building a relationship with someone, but like also kind of a play on sexual politics and people’s perception of the difference’s between men and women and the politics of it, you know? Like they’re both very different things but you can name them the same thing”

“And you’re calling that sensual politics?”

“Yes, what about it?”

“I wish I could understand what’s going on in that brain of yours. You’re such a nerd, princess”

When you are young they assume you know nothing

“Jaybird, if you hurt her, I hope you know I’ll have to break your legs” Dick shrugged as if this was common knowledge.

“I won’t hurt her, Dickwad. She’s the best thing to happen to me.”

“Okay, but you’re young and stupid, anything could happen.”

“Just because you knew nothing when you were young doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

But I knew you

Years ago, Y/n was 11 and Jason was 10. Y/N was on her way home from the school when she saw someone she recognized. 

“Hey! You’re the boy from the library! You showed me my favorite book!”

Jason flushed, unaware that she’d remember him, or that she’d take the recommendation he’d once given her seriously

“Yeah uh, hi. My names Jason, Jason Todd.” He stuck his hand out to shake.

She placed her hand in his and shook. "Y/N."

Dancin' in your Levi's

Y/N and Jason slow danced in her room, her record player spinning some old collection she’d snagged from Wayne manor.

“I was unaware that Levi’s were ballroom attire, Monsieur.”

“And I was unaware your bedroom counted as a ballroom, Mademoiselle”

Drunk under a streetlight, I

“Jason you’re drunk.”

“No I’m notttt. Please Y/N pleeeeaaassseee be my girlfriend.”

“You’re drunk Jay, if you weren’t then you’d remember I already am.” She laughed, watching her lover shoot up in excitement

“Really? That’s so cool!”

I knew you

"Y/N what do you think? Do you think he'd like this for his birthday?"

"Why are you asking me? You're his brother!"

"Yeah but you know him better than anyone else"

Hand under my sweatshirt

"Jason Peter Todd get your cold ass hands out from under my sweatshirt!"

"What do you mean princess?" He dragged his freezing cold hands further up her back

"Eek!"

Baby, kiss it better, I

Y/N carefully finished wrapping the bandages around Jason's waist.

"I can't believe you got stabbed!"

"Kiss it better?"

"Dork." She pressed a kiss to his bandages, before making her way up to his lips.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

“What’s got you down princess?” Jason quirked an eyebrow, the moment Y/N entered the manor there was an unhappy energy on her, like she was faking her smile. He knew her all too well. “Come here”. He opened his arms to her, gesturing that she should come lay with him on the excessively large couch (rich people bro) and she happily obliged, latching onto his side like a koala with her head on his chest.

“It’s just… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like an old cardigan, under someone’s bed. Just… forgotten.”

“I could never forget you. Sometimes people lose things that are important to them. If you’re an old cardigan then I’m finding you and putting you on because the whole time you were my favorite.” He pressed a kiss to her hair.

“How poetic” She could feel his chest shake as he laughed.

“What can I say? I’m a man of literature. Speaking of which! Do you want to watch Pride and Prejudice?”

“Again?”

“Yes, AgAiN”

Y/N looked up at her boyfriend, beaming. “Always.”

A friend to all is a friend to none

“You can’t keep acting like nothing is going on Jason. You love her, so why are you friends with someone like the asshole who ruined her reputation?”

“Dammit Dick, I didn’t even know that he was the one who did that until a like week ago!”

“And you’ve hung out with him twice since then! A friend to all is a friend to none, Jaybird.”

Chase two girls, lose the one

Surely all of Gotham had heard them arguing from their favorite spot on the roof of the library.

“Jason I understand that you want to go meet your birth mother, but why does that mean you have to not be in touch for an undetermined amount of time? I don’t understand why finding her means leaving me!” Y/N hadn’t meant to shout. She wasn’t actually mad at him. She understood why he wanted to go, but that didn’t make him leaving hurt any less. Why should she have to lose contact with him, let him run off to another continent without any knowledge of if he was okay?

“Sweetheart I’m not leaving you, I’m just trying to find my mom…”

“Yeah, at the expense of me! Jay I will never prevent you from doing something this important to you but that will not change the fact that this hurts me. That I’ll be lying awake at night not knowing if you’re okay or if you’re even going to want me when you come home! Not even being able to ask Bruce if you’re okay because you plan on doing this without his knowledge! For fucks sake Jason do you realize how that would feel?”

“God dammit Y/N why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“Because you’re LEAVING ME. You know what, go ahead and go Jason. You’re choosing to chase two girls and you’ve lost this one.” She made her way down, trying not to let her hands shake from all the emotional turmoil, at least not until she was on the ground again. There was no way she would know how much she’d regret saying that to him.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing

“It’s your first heartbreak Y/N, you’ll get over it. It was teenage puppy love, something was bound to happen.” Her father had no clue. It had been days and she hadn’t heard from Jason. Last she checked with Alfred, Bruce had followed him out to the middle east somewhere. 

“This was, this is so much more than that. You’re doing it again, assuming that because I’m young I must know nothing.”

“Clearly you don’t know anything.”

But I knew you

“When were you gonna tell me that you being a literature nerd was knowledge Dick wasn’t supposed to get his hands on?” Y/N gave him a look. The look that says ‘i didn't know this was a secret so you can't be upset i spilled’

“Shit, princess, please don’t tell me you told him… he’ll never let me live it down!”

“Oops?” She shrugged. He started to say something else but she kissed him before the words could escape. “It’s alright Jay, it makes you a romantic. And it means I know you better than him.”

Jason smiled. “I guess you’re right…”

Playing hide-and-seek and

“Do you wanna play hide and seek?”

“Sweetheart, aren’t we too old for that?”

“Who said that? Come onnn"

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“You know I can’t say no to you.”

Giving me your weekends, I

“You know we don’t have to spend every weekend together right? You can hang out with your friends or your family if you want.”

“Why would I do that when I could give you all my weekends?”

I knew you

"How did you know to tell Bruce I wanted adjustments on the Robin bike?"

"Because I'm just cool like that. And i know you. Now come on, let's take it for a spin!"

Your heartbeat on the High Line

Y/N pressed the side of her head to Jason's chest as a stranger took their photo on the High Line. The trip to New York had been spontaneous, something they'd decided to do for spring break.

After taking her phone back from the kind stranger and thanking them, Y/N turned to her dear boyfriend.

"I could hear your heartbeat you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you'd think it was our first date or something." Y/n grinned.

"Because you make me feel... I don't know, like Pip if Estella was actually good for him?"

"Did you just reference Great Expectations at me as a way of expressing your feelings?"

"Maybe?"

"Kiss me."

Once in twenty lifetimes, I

Y/N often thought of how her mother had once told her that true teenage love like the one she had with Jason only came once in 20 lifetimes. Although, in retrospect maybe it's twice in two lifetimes, or once in one, for the partner who didn't die.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

"Would I still be your favorite person if I was a worm?"

"Well no cause you wouldn't be a person anymore, but you'd be my favorite worm-"

"You know what? I'll take it."

"You'll always be my favorite."

To kiss in cars

"Jason Todd, you are a menace to society."

"What? How?"

"You brought me out to Bruce's Rolls-Royce to make out."

"So?"

and downtown bars

"Who would've thought the boy wonder had a fake ID?"

"Maybe his girlfriend who's cousin made it for him"

"What? Which one?"

Jason smirked at her, knowing it was going to eat her alive not knowing yes im projecting how nosy i am onto the y/n "Sorry princess, that stays a secret"

Was all we needed

You drew stars around my scars

"Jason, it's just an old scar from scraping my knee a little too deep, it's no big deal!"

He continued drawing small stars around any scars he found on her, gently dragging the red marker along her skin. "I didn't say it was!"

But now I'm bleedin'

When Jason hadn’t come back, Y/N had done one of the only things she promised him she would never do: taking up vigilantism. She told Bruce it was only temporary. She told herself it was only temporary. But the longer she was in the game the more attached to it she became.

"FUCK!" Y/N yelped as she sat on her bathroom counter, pressing a damp rag to her wound, carefully wiping it off. "God dammit, I used to be patching up Jason's stab wounds, not getting stabbed..." She picked up her phone, dialing the only number she cared to call anymore.

"Yeah, Dick? Can you come over real quick? Need you to make sure this stab wound doesn't kill me..."

The audible "WHAT" echoed throughout the bathroom, despite the phone not being on speaker.

'Cause I knew you

"How'd you know I'd be here?"

Y/N found Jason at their spot on the roof of the library after Dick informed her that he'd had a particularly rough argument with Bruce.

"Because I know you better than anyone else."

Steppin' on the last train

Jason dragged Y/N towards the last train of the night, what they never knew would be their final date before everything went astray.

"Come on! The last train is the best one!"

Marked me like a bloodstain, I

The image of Jason, dead, being carried away by Bruce was forever marked in Y/N's head. He was dead. There was nothing else to say.

I knew you

Speaking at Jason's small memorial was never something Y/N saw herself doing.

"I uh- I really don't know what to say. You all always said I knew him better than anyone else, and I just wish I could've known the way to prevent this."

Tried to change the ending

Y/N tried so hard to change the ending of her story. Make it so she wasn't just the girl who lost herself in grief. But until unless she saw Jason again, nothing was going to happen.

Peter losing Wendy, I

As she sat there writing 'Cardigan' it occurred to her that Peter losing Wendy was a choice, and her losing Jason never was, but it fit. Their love was a magic only to be found in Neverland.

I knew you

"Hey Red, do I know you from somewhere in civilian life? You seem familiar..."

"No way, too new in town, sorry."

She knew she knew him. She just couldn't place why...

Leavin' like a father

Even though she'd told him just to go, Jason still stopped by Y/N's house before he left to find his mother.

"Please don't leave me, Jay." She cupped his cheeks, pressing his forehead to hers as tears streamed down her face

"Don't cry, baby, I'll be back before you know it."

Running like water, I

Of course, Y/N hadn't known the identity of the Red Hood the first time she'd spotted him. All she had time to think was wondering why such a large man, with guns nonetheless, ran from her like she was out to get him.

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

"Why do people love to assume that because I'm young I must know nothing about love or heartbreak?" Y/N had asked one day. No one answered. No one knew. They only knew that they were all too aware of just how much she truly knew about both of those things.

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

"I want a blue jay on my forearm. Full color. Can you do that?"

Y/N had walked into the tattoo parlor like she owned the place. She needed a way to let him permanently linger. The kiss of a needle in her skin the only way to physically represent him.

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

"What if I had made him stay?!"

"Y/N there's nothing you could've done that would change things."

"But what if—"

"There was nothing any of us could do."

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

"Thought you told me that you quit smoking years ago Red."

"Yeah, well, old habits die hard."

"Rough day huh?"

"Yeah. Girlfriend from before all this almost saw me in the library today. She doesn't know about me."

"About you being a vigilante?"

"She thinks I'm dead."

"You know, maybe I'll do this and be totally mistaken and realize i'm delusional, but I swear to whatever fucking god is listening if i tear off that domino mask and Jason Todd is under there I will be pushing you off this rooftop."

"If I've been hanging out with Y/N this whole time I'm throwing myself off."

'Cause I knew everything when I was young

Y/N was playing a show in Los Angeles, touring at age 15 was insane, but then again, she never thought anyone would listen to her music.

"Alright everyone, I may be young, but I also consider myself to be quite versed in romance, who knows, maybe it's my lovely boyfriend, or the fact that I'm a hopeless romantic, but either way, this one's called Favorite Record!"

Even at a young age, she'd known everything she needed to about love, because it encased her every moment she spent with her favorite person.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

She sat at Jason's grave in the Wayne family plot for more hours than she could count, swearing at his headstone

"God dammit! Why didn't you come home? Why didn't you come back to me?" Sobs wracked her body. "I was waiting for you to come home."

Chasin' shadows in the grocery line

Every once in a while Y/N would see someone and think someone was him. Maybe it was her brain's sick way of coping. She reached towards the stranger in front of her.

"Excuse me-"

But when he turned around Jason was gone. It was just another high school boy who had vaguely reminiscent hair.

I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

A knock came on Y/N's bedroom window. She opened it warily before the Red Hood came clinking in.

"Thrill of letting me think you were dead over?"

"Y/N please-"

"Did you sit and watch as I grieved? Stand by while I lost my mind because I thought I'd lost you?"

"Sweetheart, just let me explain–"

"Don't fucking 'sweetheart' me. Get out. Get out of my fucking room."

And you'd be standin' in my front porch light

"Get off my damn porch Jason." He was standing in civilian clothes, shuffling his feet nervously as if he was a little kid again.

"Not until you let me explain!"

"Fine. You get to come in for five minutes. See if you can explain to me how there is any way you can justify this."

And I knew you'd come back to me

Y/N sat with her jaw slack in shock after hearing Jason's story. How saying he died wasn't even a lie, how he'd been brought back, the madness he'd experienced, the resentment for nobody killing the Joker. (she flat out told him she would've if she thought she could do it without getting herself killed in the process)

"i'm such a fucking asshole."

"No you aren't"

"No you went through this whole traumatic experience and I've just been a dick to you!"

"And it's been totally justified! You should've been the first person to find out I was back. Honestly I'm surprised Dick or Bruce didn't tell you..."

"I'm going to ignore the urge to castrate both of them and just be happy you came back to me."

You'd come back to me

"I'll always come back to you."

And you'd come back to me

"Make sure you come back in one piece?" They were on the same mission, much to Jason's dismay, but they had to be split up.

"When have I ever not come back to you?"

"...."

"Don't answer that."

And you'd come back

They'd made it out of that atrocious mission. It all worked out in the end but it certainly had taken longer than they planned.

"hey, you came back in one piece, just like I asked."

"I always do, just for you."

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

Y/N heard Jason coming in. His duffel bag clunked loudly against their closet floor, and she assumed he changed out of his gear at a safehouse before returning to their apartment. She flipped over the edge of the blanket, making room for him to crawl in bed with her. Once sufficiently comfortable behind her, arms wrapped tightly around her waist, Jason spoke.

"Hey Y/N?"

She turned around in his arms so she could face him. "Uh oh, you didn't call me any kind of pet name, just my name, whats up?"

"Nothing I just... I just wanted to let you know you're still my favorite."

~

The tears were flowing freely by then. The audience screamed, cheering at the sweet song. “My favorite person didn’t get to be around for a while, but… he came back to me, and that’s all that matters. Now that's enough crying, I’ve got some much more fun songs, ARE YOU READY GOTHAM CITY!?” And with that, the show went on.

Hours later, Y/N made her way backstage, where she was immediately enveloped by the arms of a mystery man. She wasn’t scared though, she knew who it was. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he spun her around. 

He sat her down gently, beaming. “You wrote a song about me?” “Jay… baby a lot of my songs are about you.” 

“What?”

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you managed to not know that even though I’ve told you before.”

“I just assumed you weren’t serious!”

“... You really think that Lover or Lucky People or Favorite Record, could have possibly been about anyone else?”

“And if I just like hearing you say it?”

“Then I’ll tell you forever.” When their lips met, it was a promise, one that this, this feeling in this moment, was real, and that it wouldn’t ever go away, because they knew everything when they were young. 

[e-dubbc11]

Thank You for 400!!

Celebration Anyone?

Pic isn’t mine. Found it on Pinterest.

Greetings lovelies from my little blog!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who follows me, comments and reblogs my fics, throws a ♥️ at anything I post/write or sends a tag game my way.

To my pocket friends that I chat with on the regular and sometimes not so regular, you always bring a smile to my face when I see your messages.

I know interaction has been down here in the Tumblr-verse lately but I’ve decided to do a celebration anyway. I hope you’ll come say hello and drop something in my inbox ♥️

I don’t really have a name or a theme for this celebration so I’ll just say thank you again and the rules will be under the cut.

This isn’t limited to my followers, although I would love it if you did.

My two muses I write for are Matt Murdock and Billy Russo, although there are a few characters that I wouldn’t mind trying to write for ( Dean Winchester, Donald Pierce, Quinn McKenna, Brock Rumlow, but I’m really scared to. Maybe I just need a nudge 🤣

Send in as many as you’d like

Fuck, Marry, Kiss (or Kill if you wanna make it interesting) I’ll do characters from the following…

MCU

Supernatural

Netflix Series ( DD, Punisher, Defenders)

Boyd Holbrook characters

Ben Barnes characters

Fall Activity Moodboard 🍁🍂🎃👻🍺

It’s getting to be my favorite time of the year in my neck of the woods. I love everything about autumn. This one is for mutuals only OR if you have ever reblogged and commented on any of my fics.

Send in any character with a fall activity (apple picking, Halloween related, cider tasting, etc.) and I’ll make a moodboard for you

Song Lyric Prompt

Full disclosure, I am not a new music girl. I probably stopped listening to newer music around 10 years ago. But I love anything from the 80’s thru early 2010’s. (I love older music too from the 60’s and 70’s)

Send me a character and a song lyric (from those time periods) and I’ll see what it inspires me to write

Miscellaneous

Send me a character plus a fluffy or smexy gif and I can try to write a drabble/fic based off of that gif

Pick a scene from a fic of mine and I’ll write it from the other person’s POV.

Prompt Lists

I’ll leave some prompt/dialogue lists below and if something strikes your fancy, send it on over with one of my muses (or challenge me with a new one from the above list) and I’ll see what I can do with it. Or if you have one in mind not on these lists, that’s absolutely fine also.

Confessions of Feelings

Kiss Prompts

Hurt/Comfort Dialogue/Prompts

Random Dialogue Prompts

Autumn/Fall Dialogue/Scenarios

I’ll keep this open until September 16 CLOSED

Again, thank you all for following me, for commenting on my fics, just all of the things! Nothing goes unnoticed, I promise you ♥️ Everyone’s support means a lot to me and I hope you continue to like the content I put out. ♥️

Tagging some of my lovelies that always cheer me on and hug me from afar whenever I need it, thank you again!

@mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @munsonownsmyass @ilovewhiteroses @ruflirtingwithme @russosafehaven @qu1etwolf @kayhi808 @k-marzolf @wheresthesunshinesblog @danzer8705 @snowkestrel @fictional-hooman @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @mattmurdocksscars @theradioactivespidergwen @skvatnavle @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @music-indie-tv @idaofinfinity @vaguekayla @pedrito-friskito @wint3r-h3art @freshabogados @gijos @nutmeg17 @jvanilly

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #15: Duncecap

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

Hey, I’m Duncecap. I've been writing and producing hip hop music since I was 15. I've also been shooting and editing videos since I was a kid.

You may have heard some of my projects released via Backwoodz Studioz (miserable then, Go Climb a Tree). You may also know me from crazy performances in NYC with the group we are the karma kids. Some of my albums from that time are Human Error and Rapping is for Idiots. 

In terms of upcoming music - exciting new stuff is coming! One forthcoming album is chiefly self-produced, one of them produced entirely by Steel Tipped Dove.

Also I have a “secret” side project - experimental ambient music under the name Depression Naps. That will probably come out this year. I need to figure the release out ASAP though.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I usually write on the move; I’m listening to music, I have thoughts, and need something to do - it goes together perfectly. I write on walks, taking the subway, in a car. Physically moving is definitely not a rule though. I also write while procrastinating at home on the couch, or sitting with a coffee outside, in a diner is fun, etc. 

No routine time per se - I’m ready to write on a moment's notice and usually do it that way randomly throughout the day, every day.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

I used to write in a pocket-sized notebook all the time. Writing on paper really sets some immediate boundaries with space and even the speed which you can physically write. Lyrics get crossed out then circled or rewritten and crossed out again. Sometimes you can’t read what you wrote.

Now I write on my phone. It’s faster, more legible, and with infinite space - but it’s easier to get carried away with overwriting. I’ll drop anything to write an idea down. I’m somewhat of a compulsive idea hoarder, I don’t want to let a good idea pass. 

I would love to be able to be the type of person that could fully write songs in my head but I got a lot of other things going on in there too and I get distracted easily. Freestyling is fun but I’m gonna need to write down anything I want to remember.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

For most of my life I would write bars in long sentences, but in the past couple years I’ve noticed I’ve been breaking up my lines into halves or down to single words rather than bars. I call it my 'poetic style' on account of how it looks on the page but also how my delivery changes when I write this way. It helps me get more granular conceptually and with the rhymes too. I enjoy the end result and my voicing in that style. Projects I’ve written in this way are Genuinely Sad Songs and miserable then and the new stuff. 

Writing can get pretty disorganized regardless of medium too, but I try to run a tight ship. Disorganized writing in a digital space might look like several versions of the same lyrics doc or alternative lyrics in the same space as the original one.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

Depends on the strength of the original writing, the context, and how much time I want to spend editing it. 

Sometimes it’s 4 bars in or less I might know. Sometimes, there’s one line in an otherwise great verse that I’m unsure about and everything past that one line feels off. Sometimes I write a whole verse and return to it thinking, “Maybe this isn’t the angle.”

Digitally, I never throw anything away. At this point I’ve embraced it, although it does weigh me down a little bit. I would love to cull the “good stuff” and start fresh in my notes app, but at this point it might take longer than it’s worth. 

Occasionally, a verse gets lost in the ether or I cut a song and I can reuse the verse elsewhere or break it down for parts. Most of the time what I write is tailored to a special concept or nuanced emotional expression. It gets tricky to go back and plug old writing into those pieces and I tend to start over in that case.

That isn’t to say that I don’t find old verses I can match up to new songs - but it doesn’t always feel good. It shouldn’t matter honestly, but something in me says: start fresh.

Though looking through searchable results in my notes app can jog my brain and get the gears turning - it’s like a mood board but with elements I created.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

Poetry - yes. It very much influences it. This is where my writing started as a pre-teen and I still write poetry and infuse it into my music. 

Screenwriting - yes (I want to write more scripts). 

Fiction - as a child I did write stories pretty frequently and had a bunch of little one page stories with cover art and stuff. The last long form narrative prose I wrote was a kind of memoir in college while locked out of my dorm. I wrote it all on a Blackberry phone. 

I journal too when things are rough and want to reexamine something I know I will want to reflect on in my life. A lot of times in the moment I’m experiencing it, most likely in a way to detach. 

I’m trying to think how these different mediums might specifically affect my songwriting. Poetry and journaling, for sure. The only thing I can think about for screenwriting is sometimes I will write dialogue in my songs but I don’t really clarify it as such. It’s more like internal dialogue. Sometimes I dub or adlib those lines if it’s crucial to communicate that it's another character besides mine in a song. Those moments of pseudo dialogue reminds me of the flow you can enter when writing a scene in screenwriting software - so maybe that's the link.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

For me, it matters the song I’m writing. 

Sometimes I will write a verse about literally where I’m writing or I will write a song as a way to work myself through an emotional event. These kinds of writings I try to preserve for the integrity of that moment in time and where I was physically and/or emotionally. 

For more pre-conceived and intentional concepts I will painstakingly edit them until they feel right. “Did I structure this in the most elegant way possible?” “Am I communicating the concept clearly and cleverly?” Etc. 

Those same kinds of quality controlling conditions happen regardless of how I’m writing, but there’s a bit more forgiveness in favor of earnestness when I get more personal on tracks.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Both, it depends on the situation and how I’m feeling. 

A lot of stuff on miserable then was written as poetry first and then fit to beats. Same goes for the Genuinely Sad Songs EP. I would also record freestyles to those beats and then decode the nonsense lyrics and tones or use the rhyme patterns I established.

Most other times I would say that I write to the beat while taking some breaks listening so it doesn’t get too repetitive.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

Many times I write to sort myself out, so it’s stream of consciousness while I’m overanalyzing the very stream of consciousness I’m writing. This is where I get more introspective on songs. I’ll be led by trying to find an “answer” to what I’m feeling while making it structured and rhyme.

Sometimes I look around the notes app for thought starters and when navigating that labyrinth I’ll be reminded of concepts I meant to write about later. I'll match up themes to new production to see if I can make my life a little easier if a theme or lyric doesn’t come to mind inherently for a song. This ends up being very satisfying since the piece ends up being planned out a bit more but with minimal effort. 

Rhyming does force some rules on your writing but you get used to navigating that. I wouldn’t say that rhyming would constrain a song from being made but it does make creating a song more of a puzzle - which is a lot of the fun.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I like to experiment with rhyming. I get bored with keeping the same rhyme scheme for a whole verse while other times it’s the thing that drives me. When you have the same scheme for a whole verse you get to play with the audience's expectations. If you're rhyming and the person you're with finishes the line for you - for me, it can be a sign that you're too predictable of a rhymer.  But if you want to be optimistic, you can see that as a sign that you are a good songwriter. It really depends on what you are trying to accomplish at the time.

Sometimes rhyming doesn’t cross my mind at all and other times I’m trying to rhyme each word in a sentence to its parallel word in the subsequent line. Other times my lyrics are more melody driven and that takes a burden off of rhyme all together, or at least modifies expectation.  

I have always been fascinated by rhyme and its predictability. I love hearing wild tongue twisters that I still can’t guess the ending rhymes for. Rhyming is such a unique tool that you can subvert expectations very easily with. I find myself using an A B A B rhyme pattern pretty frequently. It’s a nice way to balance the “shock value” of non-rhyming but also getting rewarded with a rhyme. It’s also a good fall back if you are freestyling and forget to rhyme.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

Here’s a couple songs where the concepts were pre-determined and I’m proud of how the final product met that initial vision:

“Under the Hood” (feat. Fielded) || Go Climb a Tree 

I had the title and knew I wanted to write about how things in life are many times antagonistically assembled or precariously produced - and then presented as clean, polished or well-thought out products. And how fragile it all is even after it’s released. 

“Well oiled machine in the shippiest shape, / One domino is all the difference it takes.” 

“Definitely” (feat. E L U C I D & Quelle Chris) || Rapping is for Idiots

I asked them to write as busy/unreachable rappers and I was supposed to be the desperate collaborator. Everybody nailed it and the video came out great as well. It’s extra gratifying to piece together a concept track with multiple folks on a record. 

In terms of one verse to point to -  there’s this verse I’m especially proud of from this upcoming Dove album. It hits hard but is also very on-point conceptually. It’s an example of one of those titles or concepts I’ve had floating around in my notes app for years and then it finally fell into place when I heard the right beat at the right time. The song is about the over-abundance of, well, everything and how overwhelming life can be in the current zeitgeist.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

I always used to have this question answered but the answer would change every year or so when I wrote a new project. I use writing as a means of self-discovery and the growth is never over. I don't think it'll ever be easy for me to settle on a favorite lyric because as soon as one is out of my system, I potentially don't relate to it anymore if it’s married to a specific emotional incident. Instead I go, “Oh, yeah I did a good job explaining how I felt at the time,” but it doesn’t feel as electric anymore to me in the present.

Despite that, I’ll answer the question. Here are some old standouts, I wouldn’t say I have a favorite though:

“Being self aware is not the same as trying to do something [about it]” (Bad Breath [’Toid Up])

The genesis being to have a way to remind myself and others that just because you know you are a little fucked up doesn’t mean you are actually being productive or healthy about it. Worst-case scenario it’s a negligible position to be enabling yourself but with a false sense of security.

The song “Rocks in Your Shoes” is mostly a free-write but has bars I’m proud of that satisfy both an introspective/punchy appetite:

“I talk like a parrot with a TV in the room”

“I like the way my mouth dances when I spit a tune, / My bars are choreography for my lips to move”

I dunno!

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

Do I whittle a bar down for breath control? Yes. That usually comes in the initial writing phase but doesn’t stop there.

A lot of people, including myself, will practice their flows under their breath if they are in public or a room full of people. It’s a little odd to go full volume in those situations. Personally, I’ve found that practicing quietly like that can be misleading when it comes time to record.

Recording a demo is important. Most of the time I will face the reality of my breath control in these recordings then listen back and whittle down some more or change phrasings. Or I learn I hate a lyric the instant I’m forced to say it out loud or in front of people. The actual recording after the demo is always much more confident and polished. I either try to demo first or perform it live first before I record. Sometimes you write the verse and immediately record and land the first take, punching those always feels sacrilegious but you gotta do what you gotta do. 

I usually try to deliver verses in one take when I record. In my head, if you are planning to perform your material live anyway, it makes sense to learn it as you will perform it live. 

That being said - sometimes stylistically you might want to punch a lot or the take was perfect except for one moment. I’m more than happy to punch in those instances. I used to be more stubborn about not punching-in but when you are working with other people’s time it doesn't always make sense to deliver things in one take but it’s usually very satisfying.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Musically - ambient music! I have always listened to “relaxing music” since I was a kid because I have always had anxiety. As I’ve gotten older that expanded to more experimental music, noisy music. Field recordings and ambient tones have been very inspiring to me the past couple of years.

I've been working towards bridging the gap of my “beats” and sonic experimentations for a little while and will be releasing a new ambient project this year (2023). I also recently produced an EP for someone while practicing this same type of experimental production processes. 

Outside of music I would say film! I use a lot of filmmaking language in my writing because that's just how my brain works. It’s also a clinical way to describe things visually.  

Also, I’m inspired a lot from my surroundings and experiences. I try to pull songs from my life and the characters I see or interact with. You can turn anything into poetry and I try to.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

Dude. Self-doubt all day. Imposter syndrome all day. “I suck.” etc. I usually briefly fall in love with whatever new music I’m making and then get more distant to it when I begin something new. Recently, I was head over heels with a new song, then a day later my certainty of its quality was subverted by my silly brain. 

As I get older I’m learning to appreciate my music more. I used to be the guy to delete music after publishing it but that isn’t sustainable nor fair to listeners.  Combating self-doubt will always be a journey.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

All of them? Sometimes I hear a beat and think of people I know that could potentially feature on the track with me - or even famous rappers - but then I decide to have no features on the song. In those cases I worry that I might sound like whoever I thought of initially. When that happens I share a demo with friends and it’s usually just in my head.

I’m not sure this has happened to you, but there’s those moments where you strike gold while writing and realize, “Oh…this is just [famous song]”. I’m paranoid of that happening. Sometimes I won’t listen to new projects immediately if I'm already in the middle of writing something - that way it doesn’t rub off on me subconsciously. 

Funny enough though, I think hip-hop is pretty forgiving of that kind of thing in the right context. So many artists pay tribute by flipping famous lines or flows and putting them in their own songs.You don't see nearly as many cover songs in the genre as in others but see more reworkings, references, and shout-outs. 

I mean if you are biting someone's style completely that’s a no-no, but I’m not concerned about that happening.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

My goal is to be financially stable off of video and music alone. 

In terms of projects, collaborations, etc. - I will always want to work with talented people and especially ones that have vision or challenge me to think outside the box. Connecting with other artists will always be a big part of music for me. 

Content-wise, I want to keep experimenting but also take myself more seriously and write less about emotional/personal issues as my default. Mental health issues are important for me and listeners tell me my words have helped them. That’s why I still do write this way and partly why I started writing that way too. If any of my experiences and learnings can help people in the same spot it’s a win and very rewarding. It’s just as validating for me to hear people relate to my writing as I’m sure it might be for a listener to hear someone describe how they feel. 

I have always been an impulsive writer and I imagine that won’t change. I can say, though, that the more I work on myself the more my growth will reflect in my writing.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: P Squared

[yaldev]

Bruzek's Flags

Living in the Oracle’s consciousness came with certain inconveniences. Decadin had no sensory inputs but those shared by his host. His eyes were not closed, but removed—he could not see the darkness. Maybe the gods in here could handle it, but Decadin was only ever a man.

He distracted himself with what faculties were available. He recreated old songs and cursed when he forgot a lyric. He trawled his imagination and dug up an old idea of a Terminus office building, which he modeled in three dimensions and rotated at ludicrous speeds. When the entertainment value ran dry, he fixated on old memories. He handled crystal bugs, ate soup in a sunrise and argued with titans of industry and military, struck now by the wiser things he could have said. Most of all he replayed his first meeting with the Oracle, telling himself this was the most important memory to keep alive, as it came closest to explaining how he, or whatever was left to call “he,” was now here, whatever “here” could mean.

The Oracle could see it all. “Anything to never think of Lhusel,” she thought, and it intruded on Decadin’s mind.

Decadin shoved that thought away.

“You think so much of one broken friendship, and not the families slain in your Empire’s name.”

He was not getting away from this. “Why would you even ask that? You know that bothers me too, but they weren’t part of me and my story like Lhusel was. That’s just how humans work.”

“Want to see something? You’ll go mad if I don’t feed you.”

“I’ll take anything.”

“Perhaps you can make better sense of this than I,” she said, and she poured a vision into Decadin’s mind. His eyes faded back in, and his ears and nose and skin. He was a ghost at a ceremony.

Bruzek unraveled a scroll, read its magic nonsense aloud, and shoved it back in his pocket. “Test,” he said, and all could hear him as clear as if he were standing right before them.

Decadin tried to frown, but he had no mouth. “When was this? Or when will it be?”

“Now,” thought the Oracle, “but far away.”

Bruzek started talking, and the acolyte ignored what he said to focus on how he said it.

“He’s bad at this,” Decadin thought, “can’t imagine he wrote this himself, but he memorized it word for word.”

“You’re so sure,” the Oracle thought.

“Debate society kids like me did the same thing. If he hasn’t fixed it by now it’s because he hasn’t had to. You don’t need to say anything interesting in the military, you just stick to the script. What are those banners?”

“Battle flags, Bruzek’s own. Now that he’s High Commander, he can institute them—”

“He got to High Commander talking like that?!”

“Don’t be so harsh.” The Oracle smirked. “He’s just trying to copy you.”

“...never seen before,” droned Bruzek, “but the vision you have demonstrated in your studies and training has given your Empire confidence that you can face those threats and do what needs to be done.”

Decadin wished his ears would fade back out. “Getting millions killed? Is that how he copies me? You can mock my style but I was never this… generic.”

Bruzek was not worth Decadin’s attention. The acolyte turned his gaze to the audience, the commissioned commanders in shirts and ties. They looked more like desk workers than warriors. At least that was honest. There was no life in their eyes. Whatever the speech was trying to do, it…

Decadin’s attention went back. “Maybe genericism is the point.”

He felt the Oracle’s interest pique. “Go on.”

“Ideas aren’t the reason he leads, but it’s not about following a script either, because then the words would matter. No, this isn’t about what he says to them. The point is, he’s at the front and they have to listen. This is a graduation speech?”

He felt the Oracle nod.

“So this is what the Army is about now. What learning is about, if you’re Ascended.”

Bruzek’s tone changed. “Okay, I could go on another five pages or we could skip to the important part. You’re adults, your time is valuable, you get it. What do you say?”

Decadin saw consciousness return to the soldiers’ eyes. They answered with mild laughter here and there, but no objections.

“Alright! Ascended commanders, you have come this far!”

Violence shone in Bruzek’s eyes. His words pulled memories from the Oracle’s mind, and they polluted this vision. Illusory steelflakes descended on the scene.

“Your power is the Empire’s, and the Empire’s power is yours. What can stop you?”

“Nothing,” was their resounding answer. Lightning mines erupted all around.

“Tell me, in all you have learned: what is it to win?”

“It is love.”

Conversion cities assembled in the distance.

“And what is it to lose?”

“Growth.”

Suppression towers sprouted from the concrete.

“And what is it to reach?”

“Life.”

An Orb of Darkness loomed over them all.

“And what is it to relent?”

“DEATH.”

Decadin’s thoughts were racing. “So they knew this part. They had gut answers. He made the speech bad on purpose, because that was the Army, but the chant was Bruzek. He gave them a part in the script, and sidestepped the formalities to involve them.”

“The Army belongs to him,” the Oracle added, “he could change anything with an order.”

“But he doesn’t. He’s drawing a line between himself and the institution. He’s building a cult to himself, something separate. He’s planning something, what’s he planning?”

“Yes, you are right,” thought the Oracle, “thank you.”

Decadin’s eyes began to fade, and ears and nose and skin, as though the Orb of Darkness were consuming it all.

“Oracle, what’s he planning?” He asked again, but she had sectioned him off again, cast him back to his songs, buildings and obsessions. He pouted and thought of all those men, the true killers in all the Conquests, petty tyrants with computers and annual reviews, Bruzeks in the making. Decadin dreamed up a bomb that could’ve killed them all where they stood, and rotated it at ludicrous speeds.

———

Yaldev is a sci-fantasy worldbuilding project by Ulysses Maurer, with art by Beeple. By looking at narratives, stylized loredumps, bad poetry and little details, we'll witness the story of a planet filled with magical power, the nation which tried to conquer it, this empire’s dramatic collapse and the new world which emerged in its wake. Along the way we'll meet the characters who live here, and we'll explore questions about nationalism, rationalism, the natural world and the quest to master it. For all stories in chronological order, check out the pinned posts at r/Yaldev!

[luigi-fanatic-in-the-attic]

To Be Hero X’s Trailer is Immaculate - A Review

Okay I know I posted something yesterday but I just saw this video and HAD to write something about it! I’ll be discussing it below, but I recommend you watch the trailer first. With that out of the way, let’s get started! 

The video starts with X (why does he look like P5 Joker??) running late for something, but stopping to get something at a vending machine. Honestly, relatable. Though I wonder what he was running late for? I’ll get to my thoughts on that later. The soda also has the same name, which makes me wonder if he has his own brand of soda. He IS the highest ranked hero, so it is in the realm of possibility. 

But let’s be real here, we were all concerned for the dog. The cute chubby boy got YEETED!! It doesn’t state why the bad guy was beating him up, but I think it’s because the dog has powers too (If that good boy isn’t part of the movie I’m rioting >:/). Luckily X, being the chad he is, stops Mr. Mean Mask Man (not his actual name lol). How, you ask? Well it’s not exactly clear to me. The first time I watched it, I thought “oh god he turned that guy into a manga O_O”. But it seems that X’s snaps teleport him and whoever he wants into a pocket dimension based on his surroundings. We can see this as he fights the mask clones on the wall, sidewalk, and other city items. This isn’t all though, as when X snaps ON a car (not near it) it dematerializes, allowing him to reform it into a sword. He even brands his new sword with his branded X, a detail I find interesting. There’s most likely more to this though, as the music lyrics suggest he can “bend space and time”. 

And the music!!! The street vibes flow perfectly with X’s moves. It just fits him so well and it’s so refreshing to see such smooth and charismatic animation. The song’s called “New Type of Hero”, and I’ll definitely be adding this song to my playlist. Words just can’t describe how much I love this, so go listen to it again already!!

The graphics are truly full of the exaggerated swagger of an asian (not) teen… I’m so sorry for that shameless Miles Morales reference, but you gotta admit this does have some Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse vibes. Perhaps that movie was an inspiration for this one? I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. I love how the dimension teleports are symbolized with a snap so it’s not jarring to watch.

Now the world explanation at the end of the video: I don’t understand what “belief” for heroes means in this context. This may have been a translating error, but perhaps it’s similar to popularity? The heroes ARE competing for the best ranking, after all. I’m guessing the competition was what X was running late for earlier? Regardless, I know who I’ll be cheering for!

As you can see from the video linked above, this trailer is AMAZING. X’s iconic snap followed by seamless 2D and 3D transitions is nothing short of impressive! Let me know what you think in the comments, I’d love to discuss different theories! Until next time, have a nice day!

[musicarenagh]

Super Saiyan Jay's New Single: What's Behind "Can I"? Today we had the chance of having a chat with Super Saiyan Jay, he is one artist who speaks apart from others; his songs are like poems with the smooth flows and inspiring lyrics. Super Saiyan Jay is a new artist and his newest single "Can I", shows us the space where he plays music and talks about his feelings. "Can I" isn't only a rap tune; it actually an artist's way of breaking free from the bounds of genres. The fast syllable-based style of Super Saiyan Jay with which he rhymes like the old legends brings vigor into the track and captivates listeners from the beginning to the end. Not only does the rap mode make “Can I” stand out, but also the fact that every minute detail of the song is taken care of. From the stunning beat of those synth and bell pads to the enchanting tune that you just simply cannot ignore, no element of this song is left ignored. The music journey by Super Saiyan Jay is like an evolving process of self discovery. He has been on a search for his sound and message since the times when he released the "Staying In" songs to now when he has come out with a new album. "Can I" marks a mellow, laid-back beat with a dash of self-confidence that is absolutely refreshing. This helps the listeners move towards self-empowerment. So, what's the verdict on "Can I"? Well, it's a banger, plain and simple. Super Saiyan Jay has crafted a track that's equal parts chill and hype, with a vibe that's all his own. So, if you're looking for something fresh to add to your playlist, give "Can I" a spin. You won't be disappointed! Listen to Can I https://open.spotify.com/album/5e5CUn6z5aeWdlWJCSAVly Follow Super Saiyan Jay on Facebook Twitter Spotify Soundcloud Bandcamp Youtube Instagram What is your stage name My stage name is Super Saiyan Jay. Is there a story behind your name There's no specific story behind my rap name, but It's what I'm known for and what I'm rocking with. Where do you find inspiration I find inspiration from all forms within music. From the artist and the way they create, all the way down to the breakdown and structure of a beat. The science behind music gets really deep once you get into it. Are you from a musical or artistic family Music was instilled in me from my parents, to my grandparents at an early age. I can't think of a time when I wasn't involved with music. Absolutely. Everyone in my family has inspired me in many ways with their own musical influences. Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry I don't have a specific inspiration for who inspired me to be in the music industry. But the music I'm making feels right and it makes sense when I create. How did you learn to song/write/to play I just had a natural feel for writing my own music. As time goes by in life, you experience different things so that can spark plug the ideas that follow when it comes to writing music. What was the first concert you went to and who did you see perform The concert that I atleast remember going to first was a Snoop and Wiz concert back in 2016. The energy from those two legends was contagious and captivating. How would you describe your music My music is a variety of things. I'm inspired by the old school rap era. But I can fit into many different pockets of rap. If you like laid back and chill music, I can provide that. But if you want the bang your head and turn up to have a good time music, I for sure have that. Describe your creative process My process comes in many ways, I look for the beat and once my mind starts going I gotta write to it. I can write music for days. But I'm a firm believer of not forcing your pen. Let the music come naturally. What is your main inspiration My parents are my biggest inspiration, hard work doesn't come easy for no one. [caption id="attachment_54717" align="alignnone" width="2000"] My parents are my biggest inspiration,[/caption] What musician do you admire most and why I have too many inspirations from musicians. There are too many dope artists to choose just one.

Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career My style has grown a lot since the beginning. I've learned to not rush to release music when it gets finished. Focus and have a plan. Use preparation to the best of my ability to catapult my brand and music as a whole. Who do you see as your main competitor I'm my biggest competitor. I'm a huge perfectionist so if it's not to my liking, then I have to keep working on it until it's right. What are your interests outside of music I love to create cover art, make videos and edit. If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be I'd be behind the camera directing and producing. What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? The biggest problem is finding a good reach to expand but that's all a part of the growth and the journey. If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be I'd change the way people got paid for making their music. The streaming doesn't make sense to the revenue that comes in return. https://open.spotify.com/artist/4ojdxqwTW9p8eNUCAyOsGy?si=RJP7fpL-TY2v_Wyh68EfhQ&dl_branch=1 Why did you choose this as the title of this project I choose the title because it makes the most sense. What are your plans for the coming months I have a lot of music coming out. I'm currently working on three projects at the moment. Do you have any artistic collaboration plans Most definitely, I got some music coming out with some real dope artists. What message would you like to give to your fans To my fans, thank you for rocking with me up until this point. I have a long way to go, so stay on this journey with me. I got a lot in store for y'all.

[existentialmagazine]

Review: Austin Willacy’s new EP ‘Gonna Be Alright’ channels feel-good pop, intimate reflections, gritty rock and soulful retreats

As a veteran member of The House Jacks, the emerging artist Austin Willacy has long proven he can sing, but with multiple worldwide tours and full-length albums in the back of his pocket as a group, Austin now looks to cement why he’s a star in his own right. Taking influence from greats that range from The Police to Maroon 5 to Taylor Swift, Austin isn’t just a powerhouse for modern music lovers, but his work equally resonates with those of all ages and walks of life.

With plenty albums already to his name, both independently and as a group, Austin now looks to truly hone his sound to perfection with a new record: ‘Gonna Be Alright.’ Embracing hope in the face of hardship, as well as themes of perseverance, dedication to dignity and the beauty of lessons learned through loss, this 5-track project covers from start to finish an authentic and deeply personal journey that’ll find itself healing many that choose to listen. Collaborating with Grammy-winning producer and songwriter Rich Jacques for the singles, it’s clear that the songs are not just thoughtful but intricately created to a tee.

The lead single ‘See You In The Light’ finds itself immediately to be one of the album favourites, connecting with anyone that’s lost someone as Austin sings an ode to a close childhood friend. With this upbeat but soft soundscape pushing through, Austin carries flavours of both appreciation and grief within the instrumental synth whirs, gentle guitar strums and steady beats, an almost timeless, coming-of-age type atmosphere that longs for what once was. Through the healing that comes with reflecting on the incredible elements of his friend Pete’s life, there’s an equal amount of wistful aches, seeking one more conversation or moment to share gratitude that he simply cannot have: ‘I know you’re not at home, but it helps me to remember, so I don’t feel alone.’ Through a drum loop and a chord progression that felt familiar, Austin and Rich found themselves penning a sound that’s just as warm as a good friend you haven’t seen for a while, driving ‘See You In The Light’ home for anyone seeking solace in their grief. The melody and lyrics lean instead towards retrospective reflection, with a positive, appreciative acknowledgement of who he was, how they grew up together, and how he’s still carried along with him to this day, all for the ears of a world that never got to know him and greatly missed out for it.

There’s much more to the 5 song EP ‘Gonna Be Alright’ though, championed just as much by its title single that looks to find healing in even the greatest of pains. Highlighting that often a person's experience in any kind of relationship is like an iceberg— only 10% visible above the water line — ‘Gonna Be Alright’ finds peace and acceptance on the other side of disconnection. Through easy-going piano keys and soulful vocals, the sound is just as thought-provoking and yet continual in its comforting presence, carrying intimacy through everything he does and never for a second making it weighty or too much to bear.

Other tracks like ‘Not Gonna Stop’ dive into harsher rock leans, driving in gritty electric guitar strums and charismatic vocals that completely shift from everything Austin has created to date. The catchy opening ‘No Apologies’ is on the other side of things a complete pop anthem, bright and feel-good. The final missing piece ‘Better Days To Come’ is just as distinct too, a gospel-like serenade that’ll send chills down your spine. Whether Austin’s music is right up your street or a world away from anything you’d usually hear, there’s something that just can’t help but connect you to everything he has to say - or sing.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.

[quinnpedia]

⸻a collection of songs & lyrics.

list five songs that inspire you to write your muse.

me and i  -  abba  -  part of me is acting while the other stands beside.  yes,  i am to myself what jekyll must have been to hyde. we’re like sun & rainy weather,  sometimes we’re a hit together,  me and i.

gasoline  -  halsey  -  pointing fingers ‘cause you’ll never take the blame like me ; and all the people say ‘ you can’t wake up ; this is not a dream.  you’re part of a machine ; you are not a human being. ’

no good deed  -  wicked  -  one question haunts and hurts,  too much,  too much to mention.  was i really seeking good,  or was i just seeking attention?

tied together with a smile  -  taylor swift  -   i guess it’s true that love was all you wanted,  ‘cause you’re giving it away like it’s extra change -- hoping it’ll end up in his pocket,  but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain ‘cause it’s not his price to pay. 

motion sickness  -  phoebe bridgers  -  i’m on the outside looking through - you’re throwing rocks around your room - and while you’re bleeding on your back in the glass,  i’ll be glad that i made it out and sorry that it all went down like it did.

and list five quotes that inspire you to write your muse.

“ sorry about the bony elbows, sorry we lived here, sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how i ruined everything by saying it out loud. especially that, but i should have known. you see, i take the parts that i remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what i say or love me back. ”  ⸻ richard siken,  crush. 

" when she lay there on the ground,  she dreamed of time machines and revenge and a love that was really something,  not just the idea of something.  when she finally rose, she rose slowly,  avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies;  wary of phone calls and promises, charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes. ”  ⸻ taylor swift, why she disappeared 

“ oh,  i could call you names now.  list a hundred reasons for why you were awful.  but what would that do?  where would it leave me?  i still loved you.  i still have to live with that. ” ⸻ sue zhao

“ when i met you, i thought i had found the person that i was going to spend the rest of my life with. i was done! all the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? i was done. you left me . . . i'm all glued back together now. i make no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke. ” ⸻ grey’s anatomy 

“ what matters isn’t if people are good or bad. what matters is, if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. ” & “ the point is, people improve when they get external love and support. how can we hold it against them when they don’t? ” ⸻ the good place

tagging ⸻ anyone reading this at any point!

[troubleabroad]

ICY

Today was a DIY day, Buggalugs off to the American Natural History Museum (The site of wombat misinformation {go back to the first ever blog to read about it}), and for me Greenwich village for record stores and general hipsterness. I got the subway down to greenwich, and again flaked it walking out on the right street. Needing some fuel, i didn’t opt for the standard NYCharcuterie, and instead went and gt myself another bagel.

This one was a little less fast paced than the first one, but still just as abrupt. Walking to the first record store, the streets were a lot different to chelsea. These ones were lined with trees, and little parks on every second corner. As opposed to homeless people, trash and bag sellers that I’m used to. The first store was an absolute disaster. Quantity does not mean quality. However, on the walk there I did notice a lot of actors trailers. So they’re filming something in the area. Turns out it was right next for to the record store. No idea what was being filmed, it was some sort of funeral. Instead of whatever room they used, the should have gone to the record store. Felt like many a thing had gone there to die… Outside of the usual code name trailers, i did spot one that was titled “Macaulay” so as far as I’m concerned, that was the home of Macaulay Culkin. And i won’t here any rational reasons why it wasn’t. I left the set and went to the second record store, also a bust, then on to a third which was brilliant. Thanks to a tip off from an insider back home I went to said store.

Leaving a small donation there, i had heard of a great book store nearby too. By “great” it was shite. It could have been another location for a funeral home for whatever they were filming.

I left greenwich and headed back home as it was getting into the late afternoon, and i had to make it to Madison Square Garden for the ice hockey!

Thankfully the apartment is basically at the entrance to madison square, so it was a uick 1 minute walk from the room to the security check of the ground. One thing that is incredibly annoying here is that at any major event, museum, flight, attraction. You have to empty your pocket and walk through a security guarded metal detector. waiting time could be cut in half if they just let people go in and be half-arse swabbed by some bloke with a metal detector.

Anyway, once it was through the worlds toughest security, it was up to the nose bleed section to take my seat and watch the game.

This was of course after a stop at the bar that serve full sized pints (by US standards) of full strength (By any standards) beer. One thing about MSG (the stadium not the additive) is that all the seats are theatre style padded. So no plastic bucket style seat that were used to back home, these are cushioned bottom and back for your comfort. How this isn’t a thing back home is beyond me. Enough of the comfort, its game time. We all rise, remove our hats (beers are welcome though) and everyone sings the anthem. 

Not as sacred as what we have back home, people in new york have just added their on lyrics during the song, which seems kinda on the nose, but anyway, we finish that with a cheer then its game time between the New York Rangers and the Anaheim (mighty) Ducks. Personally i was going for the ducks for obvious reasons, but after the first new york goal, it was hard to not go for them. Their support was fantastic, A very fun game took place, i got to have beer, popcorn and a hotdog, and new york won. Which means that its the first time i’ve seen a winning home team in america! This meant i could bask in the glory of the home team! Sing the song, meet the players, walk out with music pumping!! Except none of that happens, New York fans left early (they were winning), there’s no song, no celebration. The players just nod to each other and then they leave the ice. Hate to see what happens when they lose. After the game, it was another minute back home where I met back up with buggalugs an we exchange stories of the day. Due to an awkward game time, and a few froffies, i had developed a bit of an appetite, as had buggalugs after not having dinner. So being late, we thought we’d try a local, late night, burger place. McDonalds. Mcdonalds here is weird. A large is basically family size, and the options are wild. Also, the late night clientele of a mcdonald’s ind new york is very unsavoury, but we stuck by it and ordered our nuggets and fries and ridiculously large drink and headed back to the loft. After devouring the food, equal if not slightly better than home, it was time to call it a day. We’ve got out last full day in New York tomorrow, hoping to do some sort of tall building, check out a couple of other sights and tidy up any lose ends before we head to portland later in the week

[fairytheo]

enhypen as your boyfriend.

boyfriend!enhypen x gen!reader. fluff. 1.9k. curse words. mention of bugs, food. not requested.

🐈 ⸝⸝ HEESEUNG ˙𐃷˙

super-duper caring !!

he’s so whipped for you — he smiles just by thinking about you

also very giggly around you

LOVES lending you his beanies

(aka. you stealing them..)

+ you steal his earrings as well ! not that he minds

absolutely adores singing for you / he loves singing you to sleep :D

hold up, is being heeseung’s s/o just being his personal ramen cook 🤨🤨

he aaalwaays bugs you to play games with him (especially wii and nintendo switch lmao)

either that or you’re playing animal crossing while eating takeout at your dinner table

you’re the only person in the world who he’ll ever do aegyo for. 

he secretly enjoys it, but shhh you didn’t hear that from me

i think he likes calling you names like cutie, cutiepie or just a shorter version of your name <3 (if there is one !)

booping your nose is on his everyday to do list ☝️

lowkey therapist & boyfriend in one ngl

WAIT he loves making playlists for you two,, 

“y/n! i made another playlist, do you wanna listen to it? i made it while thinking of you.” <//3 

the type to write cheesy lyrics about you, then later cringes at his own writing bUT then leaves it like that because you like it !

you have his cover of lauv’s “i’m so tired” either set as your alarm or play it on loop everyday 

(random but for some reason i can picture him giving you a cassette with his cover on it just for the vintage vibes)

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAY ˙𐃷˙

the mom-and-boyfriend in one ;] 

f a s h i o n  c o u p l e 

you are literally fashion icons. no disagreements. 

you have matching clothes or accessories ! even if it’s really subtle, the gesture behind it is super adorable <//3

cooking pt. 2 :D but this time there’s a gorden ramsay in your relationship

i can just SEE how you both two impersonate gorden ramsay while cooking which makes everything 10 times funnier !! checks every 5 seconds if the food is ready tho because he doesn’t wanna risk anything

never cleans up afterwards, either you do or no one does

since you’re both fashion icons your social media followers are going 📈📈📈

literally couple goals.

he loves taking pictures of you,, but also wants you to take pictures of him 

jay gets flustered easily so please make him flustered with sudden compliments, hugs, kisses, etc. !!

he’s also the only member i can really see calling you babe

confident but shy about pda at the same time ??? he’s both LOL 

you always tease him with his RAS moments and randomly quote them when you’re in the middle of a conversation with him lmao

random and idk if this fits here, but he likes making your lunch — leaves you encouraging notes too <3

last but not least: jokingly gets angry at you when he wants something from you, and you do the same thing back ♡

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAKE ˙𐃷˙

sweetest and softest boyfriend to ever exist. i’m so soft for him JSHSHS

definitely calls you sweetie and darling. 100%. fight me if you think otherwise. 

shows you pics of layla everyday (it’s become routine for him >_<)

a tiny bit cliché BUT lends you his jacket whenever you’re cold (even when you’re inside !!)

random thought: jake puts his hands in your hoodie pockets...

💔💔💔

it’s his personal goal to peck your cheek and forehead at least twice a day — gets pouty if he wasn’t able to do that ))):::

talks in english a lot because you love his accent !!

if you’re an english speaker, you’ll have conversations in english all. the. time.

if you’re not an english speaker, no worries, he’ll teach you !

+ reads you bedtime stories in english (jake’s australian accent >>>) 

dreams of travelling with you to australia <33  

if there’s a bug in the house you better know that jake will NOT be removing them and runs out of the house

WILL stay over at one of the other member’s houses untill that bug is REMOVED . 

so if you’re afraid of bugs as well,,, i’m sorry bae, but it’ll be your task to remove these little... creatures 😐

ngl you have more photos of layla than of him on your phone lol

(spams you with her pictures and captions them with “y/n!!! look!!! layla with a flower!!!! layla with a butterfly!!!!” it’s just so sweet aaa)

we need some “””drama””” so you make jokes about him being a “🥶💸🔥💪” boy a lot in your relationship LMAO

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNGHOON ˙𐃷˙

ice skating dates.

this has been mentioned in other headcanons a lot already but i just HAD to include it,,

convinces you to eat ice cream after your date LOL even if it IS winter

btw. fashion couple nr. 2 !!! 

MIRROR SELCAS

MIRROR SELCAS 

ugh the visuals and the power you two hold,,,, i can’t,,,,,

has better clothes than you ngl so you share clothes lmao

it started with him lending you his sweatpants, but then you didn’t want to return them forgot to return them and BOOM 💥 here we are

extremely awkward and shy at first — don’t worry though, he becomes much more chaotic in the later phases of your relationship

he teases you SO MUCH. LIKE. SO MUCH.

always has small smile (smirk?) on his face when he’s about to make a cocky remark (so beware)

you tease him back just twice as hard which 1.) results in him in becoming flustered 2.) fails LOL

off-topic but he’d love a s/o that has a similar style to him ??? a more elegant, classy, dark style perhaps

when he’s away / busy he’ll send you some selcas and captions them with “how r u doing??” “did you eat yet?” “cheer up :P” 

kinda shy about pda but likes showing off too ???

i mean,, men... 🙄🙄 /lh

whenever someone mentions your name near him, he’ll just try to hide his smile while biting his lip (yk what i’m talking about???) and you’ll see his dimples and the affectionate look in his eyes and just AAAAA

the type of boyfriend that calls you love~

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNOO ˙𐃷˙

skin care routines with sunoo 24/7 🤝

he does your hair (if your hair is long enough to do different hairstyles with it ofc !!) 

send you daily weekly skin care products he thinks you two should try out / that’d be good for your skin <3

spa nights every friday at 9pm — he only lets you in if you wear a stylish pyjama LOL

you buy him peach items because they just remind you so much of him (｡•́︿•̀｡)

SELCA TIME !!! his phone is always ready !!! (apart from his storage maybe?)

PARTICIPATES IN SELCA DAYS OF YOUR FAVOURITE IDOLS AAA

loves to go on walks w u

does A LOT of aegyo,, 

and i know that you knew that this point will be in this headcanon.

for eg. instead of saying goodnight or bye he’ll just do aegyo for you not that anyone minds tbh

stages of sunoo flirting (?):

a — tries to compliment you (it sounds more like a flirty remark tbh)

b — realizes then blushes

c — cringes and runs away LMAO

playfully acts jealous, so you know it’s a joke but deep down he’s actually jealous

you two match each others vibes a lot — if one is sad, the other is sad as well

+ tells you your posture is bad when you sit like a banana or tells you to go to sleep early and when you don’t listen to him, he’ll show you an article that proves that (abc) and (xyz) is bad for you and says “i told you so.” 💀

🐈 ⸝⸝ JUNGWON ˙𐃷˙

impresses you by doing kicks (does the kick cap challenge on tiktok and/or you play kick it by nct 127 for the funzies) 

poking his dimple is a MUST . 😩😩

though gets super shy when you kiss him and also if you buy him gifts !!

cheers you up whenever you feel down or are upset

compliments you a ton ))): will randomly come up to you and tell you that your fit is cute or that you look brighter today,,, little does he know it's because of him ;]

HUGS!HUGS!HUGS

poking his dimple comes first, then hugging

the other members tease you two everytime you’re over LOL it’s like there are two koalas clinging onto each other

our yang garden gained another sheep +1

you two randomly play sheep,,,, like,,, everyday ???? sheep cosplays 👍

idk why ig it’s just fun to imitate sheep and go “mmmeEeEeeEhh” to annoy others

talking of that, even THOUGH he is a responsible leader he will not hesitate to do stupid shit with you

“hey how about we ring on that house there and yell “sheep for sale!” do you think they’ll open the door?”

“i don’t know... let’s find out!” 🤝

let’s just say that this didn’t end well..

also kinda bullies you (in a loving way ofc !!) pand teases you nonstop

either calls you asshole or love aHA

in conclusion: a very unpredictable relationship,, would 10/10 recommend.

very random but i feel like his love language is acts of service

🐈 ⸝⸝ NI-KI ˙𐃷˙

oh look it’s our tsundere 😼

can’t go a day without dancing so you two have vibing sessions at 2am everyday ft. the others telling you to go to bed

you’re the only one that can make him soft lol

if you’re older than him, you would definitely take care of him like your own baby !! 

if you are the same age as him or younger it’d be awkward for him at first, because he isn’t used to taking care of someone younger, so he’d treat you as if you were his best friend at the beginning

you love to watch him dance !! it’s so satisfying,, LITERAL asmr.

pranks you 24/7. boy has NO mercy. will not care if the others will scold him later. he will do the prank smoothly (?) — doesn’t care about the consequences LMAO

probably sets your alarm to someone screaming or a cringy aegyo song <//3

wants to film dance covers with you !! you don’t have to be the best dancer either !! as long as you have fun ^__^ 

the other members find you really cute but are also vERY TIRED OF YOU,, two energized teens in a relationship was not a good idea ☝️

likes to randomly hold your hand and swing it around 

probably distant at the beginning of the relationship because a.) he doesn’t want to pressure you/make things awkward b.) he doesn’t really know what to do either ???

(if you’re not japanese or don’t know how to speak japanese) he’ll definitely teach you some japanese phrases and words !! introduce you to his culture as well :DD and he really wants to know more about your culture too <3

teaches you phrases like “sunoo is a dumbass” for the funzies LOL

randomly makes micheal jackson impressions,,, it’s hilarious LMFAO

[ohbuckie]

FLUORESCENT ADOLESCENT II

college!bucky x fem!reader (first part isn’t a necessary read prior to this one) summary: bucky fucks you in the back of his car at a drive-in. warnings: smut, semi public sex, implication that reader has hair long enough to pull word count: 2k masterlist

(pls dm me for credit or removal of this gif)

Your hand is on Bucky’s thigh.

It’s customary for the boyfriend’s right hand to be on the girlfriend’s left thigh, but his only real hand is occupied by the steering wheel, and he can’t hold the wheel with only his prosthetic. So, you fill the role, fingers tapping against the inside of his muscular right leg.

He looks pretty when he drives—with his arm outstretched to display his sculpted muscles. His hair is fluffy and shiny and soft, and his lips confidently mouth the lyrics to the songs that play through the car. He was wearing sunglasses before the sun disappeared below the horizon, and they’re now atop his head, holding his hair away from his forehead, with the exception of a stubborn strand that dangles between his eyebrows.

You stare down at Bucky’s phone, held by your free hand, adding music to his Spotify queue. Just enough to bring you to where you’re going. “How much longer?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe ten minutes.”

It takes twelve.

He pulls the car between two posts in the very center of the dirt lot, parking it and unlocking the doors so that you can hop out. While he sits in the front and tunes the radio to the channel indicated on the slip of paper that the teenage girl at the front booth gave you, you spread out the plush blankets and soft pillows, making the trunk—and backseat, with all of the seats down—mostly habitable, at least for a few hours. Pillows are pushed against the backs of the front seats, a small blanket covering the area beneath you, leaving the comforter that he brought from his bed against the side to be put over your laps once you’re both ready to sit.

It’s already dark, and the cold air bites at your nose, nips at your fingertips. Bucky turns the headlights off and climbs over the center console, laying over the setup you’ve created. You lift yourself into the trunk, kicking off your shoes onto the ground beside the car, settling beside him. He looks at his phone for the time, and announces that the movie won’t start for another ten minutes.

He says it with a suggestive smirk and a hand on your waist, and you roll your eyes playfully just before he captures your lips with his. You lay on your back with your arms around his neck as he hovers over you, leaning on one elbow and using his other arm to hold you close to himself. Your fingers twirl around the thick hair at the back of his head, dark brown and intentionally unkempt.

“I’m not doing this during the movie, you know.” You breathe against him, and he pulls away.

“Why not?”

“We paid thirty dollars to get in here. We can shove our tongues down each others’ throats at home.”

“Then we should probably get it all out now.” He doesn’t wait for a response before kissing you again, hand slowly trailing down your back to grab your ass. The old-timey drive-in commercials play in the background of the hot, wet kisses that he delivers to your mouth, and your jaw, and your throat. He sucks a mark into the side of your neck, most definitely too high to cover with the collars on any of the shirts that you own.

The screen goes black suddenly and the opening sequence starts; a rumbling storm, birds chirping, Echo and the Bunnymen. He sighs, pecking your lips a last time and letting you shift to get more comfortable. For you, that means pushing your back against his chest and pulling the thick blanket over the two of you, putting your hand over his, which rests on your waist.

“All good?”

“Mm-hmm.” You put your arm under your head for a better angle of the big screen. He kisses the crown of your head sweetly.

It doesn’t take long for him to start fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie. He pulls at the fabric, twists it, inches his fingers beneath it. You squirm in response to his cold touch, and feel him smile against your shoulder, soon finding your neck with his lips.

His fingers trail down your stomach and nestle underneath the waistband of your sweatpants—his sweatpants, actually—stopping to ask for permission.

You nod, but he makes a gentle demand. “Words, sweetheart.” “Do whatever you want.” You say softly, almost shyly.

His hand slides down your pants, teasing you over your panties. He presses his middle finger against your core, making you grind against him for more friction. With pressure on your clothed clit, he kisses down your neck, leaving goosebumps in his wake. His lips are dry from the chilly air, but his kisses are delicate.

He removes his hand and taps your lower lip with two of his thick fingers. You take them in your mouth, tongue slithering around them, coating them with saliva to help him out. They nearly touch the back of your throat when your lips reach the knuckle, and you pull off slowly when they’ve been properly lubricated.

He pushes his hand down the front of your underwear, finally making contact with your skin. His fingers are warm now, from being between your legs as well as in your mouth, and you’re grateful not to be shivering anymore. He rolls your clit between his fingers, moving down to your entrance to spread around your wetness, which is already abundant.

You inhale sharply when a fingertip probes you, slipping in carefully and letting you accommodate. “Bucky.”

“Gotta be quiet.” He reminds you, mouth against the shell of your ear.

“I know.” You squeak.

“Shut up, then.”

The words go straight to your center, making you tighten around him and swallow hard. He gives a couple of slow pumps. “Another?”

“Mm-hmm.” You whine, and he takes his hand out for a moment, pulling it from your pants. He shoves it in again, down the back this time, and stretches you around two of his fingers. You bring your hand to your mouth, biting on your sleeve to keep quiet. “Fuck.”

He moves his hand with purpose—which is, of course, to make you cum—while the giant screen in front of you plays a movie you’ve both seen before. You can hear the words in your head before the actors even say them: Oh, please, tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck? You want me to tell you? Please, tell me.

It takes your mind off of the fingers breaching your entrance; helps you last at least a little bit longer. He pushes and pulls, twists and curls, while you writhe beside him, trying desperately not to make any noise.

It makes an obscene noise—a wet slurp that serves as evidence of how quickly he can drive you crazy. “You’re so fucking wet.” He mutters against your cheek.

You swallow a moan, whining somewhat loudly. “Bucky.”

“Yeah?”

“Please fuck me.”

“You don’t wanna cum first?”

You shake your head. “I need you.”

He pulls his fingers out slowly, making sure you’re looking behind your shoulder at him when he sucks your taste off of them, releasing them from his mouth with a pop. He gets up on his knees, reaching to close the trunk for at least a little bit of privacy.

He tells you to get on your stomach in front of him, and he shoves a pillow beneath your pelvis to prop your hips up. With two hands, he yanks your pants and underwear down and over your ass, exposing you to him. You point your ass upwards, giving him a view of your wetness.

You hear rustling, and assume it’s him shoving his pants down his thighs. A crinkle and a rip alert you to the opening of a condom.

“You seriously had a condom in your pocket this whole time?”

“Of course I did.”

“You’re such a tool.”

“Yup.”

He spreads your ass and spits on your pussy, putting his painfully hard cock against your entrance. He pushes into you, bottoming out quickly and holding onto the driver’s seat for leverage.

“Fuck.” He whispers.

“Shit, Buck.”

He pulls his hips back, far enough so the head of his cock threatens to slip out, before slamming forward again. You slap a hand over your own mouth, feeling him find his rhythm.

It’s safe to assume that everyone around you knows what you’re doing. With the trunk closed and the inside lights off, they can’t see anything, but the SUV wobbles on its suspension in the loose dirt and alerts everyone of your activities. You try to keep quiet, because nobody needs further confirmation that you’re being had in the trunk.

This position makes it easier for him to hit all the right spots—more specifically, the one deep inside of you that makes your legs shake and your toes curl. The stretch you feel with every thrust stings only a little bit, but doesn’t hurt. You always need a minute to get used to him, anyway.

You moan quietly, lips sealed, and arch your back so that you’re pushing back into him.

“You’re so tight like this.” He says, and rests his metal hand on your lower back.

“Bucky-y.” You whine, unable to conceptualize any other words.

“Lift up your hips up for me.” He requests. “On your knees.”

You do as he asks, bracing your hands on the floor in front of you when you rise to your knees. He puts a foot up to balance himself after he removes his hand from the seat and grabs hold of you, using your hips like handles to hold onto while he slams into you barbarically.

He pulls you backwards with every thrust, but your clothes—still covering as much as possible, since it’s cold and this was meant to be a quickie—muffle the sound of you hitting against each other. It’s only a soft clapping; much more innocent than the usual slapping of damp skin that’s shared between you.

You hear his necklace jingle with every movement—a ball chain with a pendant on it that reads your first name, hammered crookedly into a circle of aluminum, letter by letter, with a small mallet and metal stamps. It hits his clothed chest and rings like a bell as a sort of reminder to you that it’s him who’s making you feel this good.

You feel him tangle his flesh fingers in the hair close to your scalp, balling up his fist and tugging. You moan, and he allows himself to do the same, all the while holding your head back at an uncomfortable angle.

“I’m close.” He mumbles, releasing your hair suddenly and quickly finding your clit. He briefly pulls away and spits on his fingers, pressing against you again, this time letting his saliva cover you. He rolls the sensitive part between his fingers, and soon starts tracing circles. They’re small, and fairly gentle, at first, but he quickly heats things up. He adds more pressure, and increases the size of the circles that he draws like his life depends on it.

Your breathy moans that you try hopelessly to conceal grow louder with every passing second, and you’re soon being dropped over the edge. Your head drops between your shoulder while you cum, and you clench around him unwillingly, triggering his own release. His hips falter and he spills into the condom, staying inside of you until he’s milked dry.

When he’s ready, he pulls out, ties up the condom, tosses it in the bag of trash that he keeps dangling from the shifter in the front seat. He pulls your pants back over your ass, and does the same to his own, waiting for you to maneuver yourself around to face him so he can kiss you.

It’s much gentler than the sex was, and his pink mouth seems to melt against yours while he holds your face, breath fanning over your cheek. You pull away, glancing at the foggy windows, dripping with evidence of your actions.

“Let’s get outta here.”

“Is that you asking for round two?”

“Uh-huh.” He smiles. “Just not in the car. My knees hurt.”

“Tell me about it.”

[shurisneakers]

harmless (vii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit

Word count: 3.4k

A/N: hey shoutout to @ugherik for suggesting a spin on the “A PLATYPUS!??!“ [perry puts his hat on] “PERRY THE PLATYPUS!???” thing. i used it in here, it’s a really small part and probably missable but i tried!! also i like the next chapter better than this one, i just wanted to put this here so it doesn’t seem abrupt <3333

here’s

my ko-fi

if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Bucky can’t stop staring at the mirror.

He wishes it was for narcissistic purposes. He had enough reason for it to be. His age may be a hundred but he had the youthful exuberance of a very drained sixty year old.

But no, it wasn’t because of the steel cut jawline or thousand gigawatt smile.

After last week’s mini-spiral, he does what almost half the videos on TikTok warn him not to do.  

He got a haircut.

Everyone’s reaction stopped him from following it up with an ear piercing, but he can’t confidently say he didn’t at least consider it once. Maybe a neck tattoo. 

He pulls at a lock of hair. It’s not even longer than his finger.

What did he do-

“It’s just a haircut, man,” he says to no one in particular, almost like he’s trying to reassure himself.

He runs his hands through his hair. It takes lesser time than he was used to.

Steve had told him he looked good. But then again, Steve wore a fugly costume 90% of the time, what did he know?

Clint acknowledged it and didn’t outright call him ugly, which he supposed was a compliment. Wanda simply smiled at him.

“FRIDAY?” he reaches out.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” comes the automated reply.

“How are you?” It took him some getting used to her, given that she was constantly listening to everything, and in general seemed to go against the universal idea of privacy. 

But his therapist told him he needed to form friendships. 

She didn’t mention it had to be human ones.

“As good as ever. Is there anything I can help you with?”

He wants to ask her what she thinks of his hair until he realises fashion advice from a faceless AI is a new low for him. Maybe ‘Do you think I should crawl into a pit and die?’ would be more appropriate. 

“Never mind,” he dismisses instead. “Any messages for today?”

“A reminder to buy a harder bed because you can’t keep sleeping on the floor.” Ah, that was on Sam’s recommendation three months ago, but he wasn’t going to stop any time soon. “And a text from a contact named Nuisance saying to meet them at the attached location in thirty minutes.”

“Where is the location?”

“The local sports centre.”

“Isn’t that closed today?” 

If he had to go out in public looking like this, maybe he could wear a cap and sunglasses and no one would recognise him. Unfortunately, as he was reminded several times before by anyone with an iota of common sense, it was a stupid disguise. 

Beanie it was, then. Bare minimum. 

“It is, yes.” Fewer citizens to worry about.

“Okay.” He hesitates in front of the mirror again, adjusting the hat on his head. “Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“You’re welcome, Sergeant.”

He stares at the little tuft of hair at the front that refused to stay down no matter how much he shoved it back.

“Come on, man,” he exhales in slight despair. “Whatever.”

____

The lock of the door leading to the pool is easy enough to pick. He can see how you got in without a hitch even though it was closed. 

The deck around the pool was absolutely drenched in water. No one was using it, there was no reason for water to splash out unless it was deliberately kept like this.

He catches sight of you easily, being that you’re the only two people there. You were standing at the end of the hall, head ducked as you scrolled through your phone.

The door closes behind him with a soft thud.

You don’t look up from your mobile when you start talking, “What do you think 6 year olds like?”

Because James Barnes, carbon dated to 1917 and therefore certified young person, would definitely know the answer to this question.

“I don’t know. Lego?”

“Just how much money do you think a teacher makes-”

You stopped mid-sentence, finally lifting your head to catch his eye. He stares back at you, steps faltering when you don’t move.

"Who are you?" you squinted.

What

"It's me," Bucky says, tugging off the dumb beanie and using it to gesture vaguely towards himself. Fuck, he shouldn’t have worn it, it was ridiculous anyway-

"You sound like him..." You narrow your eyes. “You don't look like him.”

Great

He rolls his eyes before putting on a mock scowl. Can't have Bucky Barnes without a sense of eternal disgruntlement.

"Oh hey, that is you." You grin. "You got a haircut."

“I did.” He suddenly feels the awkwardness increase. His fingers fidget with the beanie.

“Nice.” You nod in acknowledgement.

He wants to hit himself at the words that just spill out before he could think about it. “You hate it.”

“I never said that,” you snort. “And since when does my opinion matter?”

“It doesn’t.” But now he wants to know what you think since he didn’t trust anyone else to tell him honestly.

“Must cut down on time in the shower, huh?”

It did.

He shrugs. He shoves the beanie into his back pocket.

“Was it a crisis haircut?” How did you kno- “Are you going to get bangs next time?”

“Shut up,” he says lamely, a dull burn in his cheeks. 

“I know a place where you can get hair dye for cheap. Not technically FDA approved, but I think purple streaks are a good place to start-”

“What are we doing here?” he interrupts, sighing.

“Skinny dipping. Take off your shirt, Barnes.” 

“Funny,” he says dryly, eyeing your shoes when you straighten up.

Ice skates.

“Fine, pants then.” You don’t make any effort to move from your end so he does, walking closer to you. 

“What are those for?” He doesn’t hide the annoyance from his voice when he points at your feet.

“Oh, these?” You look down at them. “Yeah, I’m going to freeze the pool.”

That seems... mild compared to the shit show you wanted to do last time.

“For?” He halts where he is. 

“’M gonna take my friends ice skating.”

“Is that all?” He wants to make a comment about the fact that you have friends but bites it back.

“Today is just a trial run. Tomorrow I’m gonna go freeze the East River.” There it is.

“The East River is not your personal ice skating rink.”

“Not yet it isn’t.” You lift up a middle finger.

It was too early for you to flip him off, even by your standards.

He raises an eyebrow.

Your face scrunches in confusion. You follow his gaze to your finger. “Oh yeah, no, that’s a freeze ring.”

Only then he notices a ring around the finger. From where he was standing he could make out the blue stone that adorned it.

“Joy.” He rolls up the sleeves of his black bomber jacket. “Let’s get this done with, then.”

“No no, wait.” You hold up your hand and he complies, having nothing to lose anyway. You pull out your phone and press a few buttons before shoving it back into your bag and tossing it aside.

The soft sounds of a piano start playing from a boombox near the corner of the room. A child starts singing following a series of knocks.

His eyebrows furrow. “What the fuck is this?”

“The Frozen soundtrack.” You beam at him. “I thought it was fitting.”

He doesn’t know what that is and at this point, he’s too afraid to ask. He can vaguely make out the lyrics being about a snowman but he isn’t too concerned.

He takes one step forward. You immediately point your fist at the ground in front of him, forcing him to jump back when a blast hits right in front of his shoes. Suddenly he gets why the floor is covered in water.

It sounds like a series of cracks as the water starts freezing over, a layer of ice now separating him and you.  

"You ready?” The mischief was woven in your voice as the blasts continued throughout the deck, effectively turning the entire floor into ice.

Bucky takes a step tentatively forward. Not bad. He takes another. Okay.

The third one is when shit starts to hit the fan. His hands shoot out to hold onto his balance when his footing slips from beneath him.

His Nike sneakers aren’t used to snow. They’re used to well manicured lawns and pavement trips to Starbucks and marble floors of the compound. Not swimming pool decks covered in ice.

He can hear you singing in the distance and every time he looks up you’re a little further away, making sure every inch of space is frozen.

It takes him a while to get over the initial fear of breaking his skull and just move forward swiftly with short steps. A goddamn penguin is what he looked like.

“There you go, you’re getting it,” you chirp as you whiz past him. He reaches out to grab at you, only to miss by an inch. He staggers, arms flapping wildly to regain his stability.

He hears crackling beside him. He gets a second or two to watch ice crystals spread through the water before turning it completely solid. You step onto the now frozen pool, testing your weight with one leg before cautiously getting on.

A triumphant smile emerges on your face. “Awesome.”

He manages to press himself against the wall as a form of support. 

There is no point to this whole thing. He knows this. It’s been well over 6 weeks and there is genuinely no point to this.

He realises it again when he moves from side to side, body erupting into a waddle. 

Why is he doing this. He doesn’t get paid extra. He doesn’t get any kind of compensation. All he gets is more wisecracking geniuses, embarrassment and the mortifying ordeal of getting caught imitating a penguin.

The song changes to a woman singing about doing something for the first time, forcing him to pay attention to it. He hears something about ball room and balls and tunes right back out.

Bucky manages to find his way to the actual pool since that’s where you’re twirling around, opting to land on his mental arm in case things go wrong. He takes a sliding step forward, followed by another. Maybe he can do this. 

“If a 200 pound super soldier can stand on this, I suppose it’s strong enough,” you muse, watching him slip and slide as he tries to invent makeshift ice skating.

Unfortunately, his method doesn’t have any brakes, so while he’s too busy trying to move forward, there’s no way to actually stop. He finds this out very soon when he almost launches himself off the edge of the pool.

Something yanks him backwards and back onto the ice.  

“Honestly, this is utterly useless since you can’t really do anything but it’s the most fun I’ve had all week,” you admit when he goes sliding towards the middle, arms flailing.

“You had to pick fuckin’ ice of all things.” He thinks that maybe he’s getting a hang of this. He can definitely move faster than what he was doing like, 10 minutes ago. It’s not like you were going anywhere, anyway. 

“I like to keep things spicy.”

He stays where he is to glare at you. You mouth the words to the song, watching his every move whenever it interested you. 

Okay, change of plan; a temporary distraction till he figures out how to actually get the ring from you. He settles on skating towards the edge of the rink slowly, taking a step off, slipping almost immediately when his foot comes in contact with the deck. 

“Where are you going?” you yell over the music initially but immediately break into song when it ends in a crescendo.

He takes a knee, lifting his metal arm up before driving it into the ground. It shatters magnificently, leaving small shards of ice at his disposal. 

He picks up one of them, waiting for you to complete your dumb twirl. He takes aim, and-

“Ouch, what the fuck?” You stop your off key singing to rub your shoulder where the ice hit you.

He wordlessly picks up another piece to throw at you, hitting you squarely in the leg.

“Stop that!”

He may not be able to move as fast but he can definitely throw. 

“Give me the ring,” he commands, stretching his arm behind his back before releasing another piece to hit your forearm. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” There’s nowhere you can skate to avoid his stupidly good marksmanship. 

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” He shrugs, breaking another patch of ice to replenish his ammo. “Hand over the ring.”

“Over my dead body,” you shriek when a particularly big piece lands next to your feet. You knew he missed that shot on purpose.

“I feel like I’m finally acting my age,” he says casually, finding your darting about in order to avoid him more fun than he initially thought. “Can’t throw pebbles at meddling kids so this is the next best option. Thanks.” 

“If you acted your age you’d be in a casket, Barnes,” you hissed, finding that skating in zig zags helped your cause, but not by much. “I’d be- you bitch- I’d be more than happy to help you get there.”

You raise your arm, ready to send another blast to freeze the water that was starting to melt around him, hopefully, keep him where he was if it froze around him. 

He flinches. You notice immediately, hand dropping slightly when you realise what it looked like.

“I’m not gonna freeze you,” you say, softer than you intended. From what you knew, he had enough and more experience with that and you weren’t going to contribute to it. 

He swallows thickly, giving himself a little shake of his head as if to jolt him out of his train of thought. 

Another piece of ice hits you in the leg. You let out a string of curses at him.

“The more ice you make, the more I have to throw at you, Y/N.” He waits for you to regain your balance when you nearly take a stumble. 

“Shut up, you’re so immature.”

“Remind me whose plan this was again?” No point waiting for you to regain your balance when you fall over only a few seconds later. 

He gathers a few shards in his beanie, tucking it into his belt like a little makeshift rucksack just in case before venturing out on the main rink again. 

It’s more difficult for you to stand without railings to guide you, giving him enough and more time to make his way towards you, staggering and skidding. 

Both of you looked ridiculous. 

“Stay away, fiend.” 

“Ring first.” He holds his hand out in front of you. He even considered pulling you up if you just made things easier.

Next thing he knows he’s on his ass on the ice beside you. 

“I hate you,” he groans, watching as you inch away from him on your knees.

He doesn’t really have any other options so he shoves aside the humiliation and gets on his knees, using his arms to drag him along the ice.

“For the love of Christ, none of us are winning here. Just give me the ring.”

The bitch from the soundtrack sings about letting it go but he won’t. 

“Never,” you shout, sliding away from him as fast as possible. 

You make use of the fact that the top layer of ice is starting to melt, using the ring to freeze it again. His knees and fingers get stuck as the water freezes over but he has super strength. It barely takes him a second to free himself. 

“Great,” he huffs, just settling down on the ice, ignoring the sting of cold that was spreading through his limbs. Running after you wasn’t going to work; he needed a way to get the ring. 

“You won last time, I’m not letting you win again.”

“Are we seriously keeping score?” He watches as you scramble towards the edge.

“No one likes a loser, Bucky.” You use the pool stair railings to pull yourself up.

“Explain why you have friends then.” He can’t help himself this time. 

“Hardy har har.” You roll your eyes. 

He doesn’t make an effort to move. Instead, when you take a step back into the rink, he raises his arm and pummels it into the ice, just to annoy you. 

The ground damn near shakes, pushing you dangerously towards losing your balance again. 

“Are you crazy?” Your arm shoots out in front of you to keep you from falling headfirst. 

“No.” He does it again. This time there’s a crack in the ice. “I’m just very tired.”

“If the ice breaks we’re both gonna be underwater, you moron!”

“Fine by me.” He shrugs. “Freeze it again. I’ll just find different ways to ruin it for you.”

You glare at him. He raises his arm above his head again.

“Fine! Fine, stop.” You eye him as he lowers his arm. 

He reaches for his stash of ice pieces from earlier, throwing one at your shoulder again.

“Boy, I swear if you don’t stop doing that-” you duck when another one comes at you. You had no idea he could be this annoying. 

It suddenly hits him, like a lightbulb going off in his brain. He wipes his hands off on his jacket, getting on all fours before slowly managing to pick himself up again. 

He looks at you, tilting his head slightly like he was studying you.

“What?” you ask suspiciously, eyeing as he starts inching closer towards you. “What are you thinking?”

It’s like watching a newborn deer stumble its way through the world, albeit more gracefully, until he starts picking up speed. The motherfucker was going to mow you down.

The skates are useful but not so much when an extremely determined bumbling oaf is barrelling towards you, his speed beginning to match yours even without equipment. 

You don’t know why you’re running, you don’t know why he’s chasing after you but when you see the end of the pool you take a sharp left only to have him knock right into you, sending you both sprawling.

You land half on top of him, breaking your fall but it doesn’t stop the very loud groan that escapes your mouth. He’s already in the process of sitting up straight, giving you less time to analyse what just happened.

“What the fuck was that for?” you speak through gritted teeth. “Fuckin’ acting like the both of us have free healthcare.”

“You refused to give up.”

“So your plan was to tackle me like a quarterback?” You threw your hands up.  

“One part of it.” He drags himself to the edge, away from you. 

“There's more to your monkey brained plan?” He doesn’t look at you. The ice around the pool has more or less melted, letting him gain proper footing on the floor before he stands up. 

“Oh, yeah.” He turns to you. “The other’s a trick I stole from Stark.”

Bucky holds up the ring. Your jaw slightly drops, eyes searching your finger for the now missing piece of tech. 

“Suppose that’s two points for me?” 

You’re impressed. You also want to stab him. So you do the next best thing.

“When I imagined you holding a ring in front of me, the circumstances were very different,” you comment.

“Bye, Y/N.” He spins on his heel, not even giving you a second’s worth of reaction. You found it amusing.

He heads towards the door, clothes all wet. He empties out melted ice water from his beanie before stuffing it into his pocket. Just when he’s about to leave, you remember something. 

Do you mean it genuinely or just because it has an effect on him? 

“Just for the record, Barnes, about your hair-” you call out, earning his attention from over his shoulder. “I think you look really good either way.”

The world may never know. 

You swear you can see the corners of his lips quirk upwards before he turns around again. 

He slips on a block of ice, cursing and clenching on to the door to keep him upright, quickly yanking it open and leaving before he has a chance to embarrass himself further.

Smooth.

Next part

[flamingo-writes]

Okay so I heard you also write about dark themes (y/n has a stalker in this request certain parts don’t have to be described it can be as vague as you want it to be)

And I wanted to request a Draken x fem reader in which they broke up because she thinks he still has feelings for Emma and thinks he’s been cheating b/c he’s been really distant from her but in reality he really does love her yes he’s been thinking of Emma but now realizes his mistake, and one night as readers at home her stalker breaks in her house and forces himself on her but she tries to make an escape n call draken not realizing he’s coming over to try n talk with her but he realizes somethings wrong and comes in to save her after seeing her stalker have his way with her all he sees is red and almost kills the guy and when they get to the hospital they rekindle n get back together and draken promises to protect her from now on

Yes I do! Ah, I loved the amount if angst in this request, writing this was fun (I mean, not because of what happens, but because I enjoy writing complex emotions)

Pull Me Down — Draken x Reader

(Tittle inspired in the song How Not To Drown from Chvrches as the song helped me out a lot both lyrics and music wise to set a vibe while writing)

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: Non graphic depictions of rape (still somewhat described), stalking, violence, angst.

How long had it been? The last several days, maybe weeks, have all felt the same, looked the same...Has it been months now? Dull, empty, repetitive, sometimes feeling as if you weren’t awake at all and everything felt like a broken old tape, replaying the same greyscale routine with barely any sound, if anything, an annoying buzz in your ears. Barely any familiar faces remained in your life after you broke up with him. 

But, it was better this way, wasn’t it? Better being alone than being with the wrong people...wasn’t it? You were better off alone. 

Mitsuya had tried talking to you a couple of times. Possibly the only friend you had by this point, as everyone else seemed to fade away from your life as soon as you took him out of the equation. 

“You look skinnier” He pointed out as he held a paper bag in his hand. “Here” He said, stretching his hand, handing you the bag. “You need to eat” 

“What’s this?” You asked, trying to feign a smile as seeing Mitsuya hurt as much as seeing, hear or even think of Draken. After all, he had introduced you to Mitsuya. 

“Bento. I made it myself. Eat up” He said as he gave you a kind and warm smile, however, his eyes looked concerned. You knew he could look beyond your broken mask and see how you were not doing well. 

Barely sleeping, barely eating, you did the minimum effort in your classes in college, and avoided the street where his workshop was, as well as avoiding the places where he and his friends spent the most time in. However, Mitsuya always went out of his way to pay you a visit and check up on you. 

“Thanks…” You purred as you looked into his eyes. “I-I’ll...try…” 

“Hey, I’m worried about you” He said, his voice getting lower. “It’s been two months now...and you still look like shit” 

“Oh, shut up” You hissed annoyed as you crossed your arms. 

“It’s still affecting you” 

“You think?” You barked sarcastically as you raised an eyebrow. 

“Have you even been trying to get up on your feet? Or do you still want to lay at the bottom of your pit of misery?” Mitsuya said, hisnvoice getting slightly colder, as he hated seeing you too comfortable in your little pit of misery.

“Come on Mitsuya, I am...trying…” You growled. 

“Are you, really? I know you still love him, and I know you can’t let go of him…” his stare and voice softened as he saw the way your eyes got teary at his words.

You looked away, as a huge lump soon overtook your throat, making it hard to breath, to speak, even think. 

“What do you suggest I do, then?” Your voice broke at the end, as a few tears escaped your eyes, trying your best to keep your composure. 

“Talk to him” Mitsuya said calmly, as if it was the easiest thing to do. 

“Oh, fuck off” you laughed bitterly as turned around, ready to get back inside your apartment when Mitsuya held your arm gently. 

“I’m serious,” He said, whispering your name in a low voice. “Listen, don’t tell Draken I told you this, but he isn’t doing great either...He’s been overworking himself and avoiding talking about it even more than you are” He explained calmly as you looked at him. “Look, I get the reason why you broke up with him, but, can’t you see you’re still in love with him? Why break up with him if you were head over heels for him? And don’t bring up Emma, you know that’s bullshit” He said, perfectly reading your thoughts. 

“Are you done, Mitsuya?” you whispered, tears finally breaking free and falling down your cheeks as you moved your arm, and he let go of you.

“God, you’re just like him. If you talked about it, trust me, you’d feel even better...Go talk to him, stop being so stubborn” He said, staring at you, as you simply avoided looking at him as more and more tears welled in your eyes, blurring your sigh. 

--

“How did it go?” Mikey asked Mitsuya softly as they both looked at Draken too focused working on a bike. 

“God, for a second I thought it was going to be easier talking to her…” He replied in a low voice, slightly annoyed. 

“Kennchin wants to get back with her,” Mikey said looking at Mitsuya as he nodded softly. 

“Of course he does. She wants to as well, but she’s being stubborn…” Mitsuya said calmly. “Did he say something?”

“I asked him about her, he changed the topic right away, then I asked about Emma, he stayed silent...He still feels somewhat guilty for what happened to her, and apologized to me about ending things with her...He’s over Emma...But as soon as I even mention her name, he closes his fist and his knuckles turn white, he looks away, and changes the topic…He didn’t tell me, but I know he misses her...” Mikey explained as he looked at Draken.

Truth was, neither of them saw Draken like that before he met you. He was the calm, collected and always analyzing guy. He never acted impulsively, relying on his guts alone, he always had a plan. But when it came about you? You were his weakness. He acted without thinking when it came to you, he was spontaneous, and unpredictable. But only when he was with you. 

“Kennchin, Mitsuya’s here…” Mikey said standing up from his seat and walking towards him and the bike. “Let’s go grab lunch, yes?” 

“Almost done…” Draken answered as he was cleaning the pieces he had lying on the ground. 

--

After Draken was done, the three of them headed to a ramen place and had lunch. Mitsuya wanted to bring up the situation but found it hard. He didn’t want to upset Draken, but knew he was hurting as much as you were. Mitsuya’d been torn by the breakup of both his friends. He struggled with having to split his free time and be around both of them, since they both needed a friend more than ever. But he didn't want that to end. Especially Since he knew both sides of the story. And it all looked like a dumb break up that wasn't supposed to happen in the first place. 

“You went to her place earlier, didn’t you?” Draken asked out of the blue. 

“How did you…”

“You smell like her” He said cutting him off. 

Mitsuya looked at his jacket and grabbed the neck of it and smelled the fabric. After he had called you stubborn and that you reminded him of Draken, you broke down crying. He hugged you and you clung to him for your dear life. He looked at Draken as he stared blankly at his food, his hand shaking lightly. 

“Kennchin” Mikey began as he looked at him, noticing the way Draken had his jaw clenched at his eyes looked hollow. 

"You go often to see her, don't you? I can tell when you do...you always end up smelling like her…" 

"I check up on her every now and then...No-nothing happens, though...I just make sure she's fine…" Mitsuya explained, as he realized how bad it looked that he was smelling like her every time he went to see her. 

"I know...she's not like that...and I know you wouldn't mess with her either...I'm not mad at you" He said softly, as Mitsuya noticed what Mikey had said earlier. Draken was gripping his chop sticks too hard, his knuckles white. 

"What are you mad at, then?" Mikey broke the uncomfortable silence.

“I’ll go talk to her” Draken said as he continued eating. 

“A-are you?” Mitsuya stuttered.

“I’m tired of dreaming of her every night, and food always tasting like shit, I'm…" he stopped softly. "Dammit, I miss her…" he said letting go of his chops ticks and spoon and staring blankly at his barely touched ramen. "I really really do…" 

"When will you go talk to her?" Mikey asked. 

"Tonight" 

--

The night was quite cool, but the last days had been a torture with the awful heat. With all of your windows open, you were scrolling through your phone, not doing anything in particular. You looked at the bento boxes piled up messily waiting to be washed and returned to Mitsuya. You dreaded washing the dishes, as you grabbed your cup of coffee and gave it a sip. 

A shadow moving through the window caught your attention as you put your phone down and looked out into the backyard. The darkness swallowed the edge of your backyard, looking creepier than ever before as you wondered if it had been a raccoon or a cat. 

As Draken made his way to your place, he kept going on over what to say to you. He had a pretty vague idea of what to say. But where would he start? An apology? Straight out telling her he misses her? 

His thoughts were cut shirt when his phone began ringing in the pocket of his hoodie. He pulled his phone out, seeing your name shining in the screen. His heart skipped a beat as an unexplained happiness washed over him. He picked up almost immediately. 

"Hey, I was just about to call yo—"

"Ken, please help" A hideous whisper soon made his blood turn cold as your cry for help suddenly made his world spin far too fast for his liking. 

"Whats wrong?" He asked.

You soon broke down crying as he tried comforting you. 

"I'm so, so sorry, I didn't know who else to call...and you're in my speed dial…" you sobbed in a low voice. 

"Y/N, tell me, what's wrong? Are you alright?" He asked, his voice getting lower as his heart was beating strong in his head, almost giving him a headache. 

"Someone broke into my house, Ken. Please, I'm scared" you sobbed as his heart dropped to his stomach at the idea of you being in danger. 

"Shit. Okay, I'll call the police. Don't hang up, I'll be back with you as soon as I contact thr police" 

He soon started working on it. He put you on hold as he called the emergency number and explained the situation. He gave them your address as well as his name out of protocol. Once the person in the other end assured him the police were on his way, he quickly returned to his call with you. 

The horror he felt earlier was nothing compared to what he was about to experience. His heart stopped, his blood froze, he felt paralyzed by the sounds on the other end of the call, as he could only imagine what was happening. 

You were crying and gasping painfully, a rhythmic thud noise going over and over followed by the grunts of a male voice. Commanding you to be quiet and cooperate or else it'll hurt worse. 

Draken's mind went numb, and suddenly, everything he could see was red. He picked up quickly on what was going on, as the biggest feeling of impotence rushed through his body, warming up his blood. And soon, he was sprinting as fast as he could towards your place. 

Draken walked snuck into your backyard, his first instinct to sneak in and beat the shit of the intruder. However, he had no idea what he was about to walk into. 

The backyard door lead to the kitchen and as he stood on the other side of the glass sliding door, he saw it. His heart stopped and suddenly his heart was beating fast, his blood boiling, his stomach turned painfully as his ears began buzzing loudly. 

The way he was forcing on to you. The intruder had you leaning over the table, practically crushing you against it. Your face washed with horror, tears streaming down your eyes as you cried and whimpered useless pleads for him to leave you alone. The aggressive way in which he was pushing, torturing you as his eyes stared hungrily at you like a wild animal. Watching some random guy getting his way with the woman he loved made something in him snap.

Draken's world crumbled down the moment you spotted him from the other side of the door. Your eyes, hopeless, met him. As the pain in your face permeated into his own body

"Help me" you mouthed. 

He didn't hear you, but he could clearly read your lips. In a split of a second his heart was beating hard. 

Without realizing it, he sprinted towards the door, sliding it open and in a swift move, as your attacker looked up, Draken hit him on the neck with his forearm. 

Pushing him to the ground, your stalker fell on his bum as he coughed loudly. Draken didn't waste any time as he kicked him on the crotch and sat on top of him, beating his face over and over. The buzz still loud in his head as he hit him repeatedly. His anger driving him on and on as he couldn't think.

You slid to the floor, breaking down crying as you felt your legs and hips sore. Your mind was blank, as the recent memories kept rushing into your mind as you cried and sobbed, shaking. 

Your eyes slowly scanned the kitchen as they finally landed on Draken. He looked possessed as he kept beating the shit out of your stalker. 

"Ke-Ken…" you sobbed. 

It worked like an automatic button. Draken, upon hearing your voice, stopped at once. He got off your attacker and rushed towards you. He knelt by your side and hugged you tightly. Clinging to him, you cried out loudly. He squeezed you against him, in an attempt to comfort you as he ran his hand through your hair. 

As he pulled back from you, he looked at you. Your clothes torn, your shorts pooled by your ankles. And bruises. Many bruises all over your legs, arms, even your neck. 

Draken's eyes got tearful as seeing you in such a state. It pained him. How could he let something like this happen to you? He took off his hoodie and wrapped it around your shoulders. He kissed your forehead as your breath hitched.

"It's okay, baby" he whispered. "I'm here…" 

"Ple-please don't leave…" you sobbed, your shaky hand tugging on his white shirt as he looked at you. 

"I won't" he reassured you, as red and blue lights blinked from the window. 

The police kicked the door open and quickly spread around the house searching for anyone. Two officers walked inside the kitchen and saw the entire scene.  

--

Draken always hated hospitals. The wide white, silent, and odd smell of the waiting room. He disliked every bit of it. Even more now. As he was desperately waiting for any sign from you. He looked desperately at every doctor and nurse who walked out, hoping that any of you knew anything about you. 

After a nurse walked out, Draken quickly rushed to her side asking her about you. The nursed told him he could go inside and before she could say anything else, he was already in there, as his eyes desperately looked for you. 

He saw a doctor talking to you as you nodded. Your eyes still red, and your stare dissociated as you simply nodded like a broken robot. Draken rushed to your side, as he bowed politely to the doctor. 

"Ah, you're the boyfriend" he doctor said, as your first reaction was to cling to Draken and sob softly. 

Draken hugged you tightly, one of his hands going to your hair. He looked at the doctor without saying anything. 

"None of her injuries are critical. We will be running a few tests over the next few days to make sure she is alright with no STD's his attacker might have. She'll be prescribed a couple of medications for preventing measures only as well as some pain killers" 

Draken nodded as he kissed the top of your head. 

"May I have a word with you, sir?" Draken nodded at the doctor's request.

"I'll go talk to the doctor, love...I'll be back in a bit, yes?" He purred softly as your grip on his clothes tightened and pulled him closer as he tried to break the hug. "Hey, it'll be quick, okay? After I return, I'll stay with you for as long as you want, okay? I won't go anywhere without you…" he purred softly as he kissed your forehead. 

You nodded reluctantly as you let him go. He grabbed one of your hands and kissed her hand before going out of the ER with the doctor. 

"I'm so sorry about what happened" The Doctor began as Draken limited to look at him with a cold stare. "This is a tough situation. Not only on the physical aspect of it. These things take a huge toll in the victim, I suggest you contact a specialist that can help you two deal with what happened…" 

"We will" Draken answered softly as he felt his heart squeezing as the memories of seeing your stalker on top of you. 

"Its not necessary for her to stay over the night. But I'd like to see her tomorrow and three days from now as well, just to make sure everything is well and to keep running tests…" 

Draken nodded as he bowed once more thanking the doctor before heading back inside the ER towards your bed. 

His eyes teared up immediately at the sight of you. He approached you and slowly cupped your face in his big hands and brought you closer, kissing your forehead. 

"I'm so, so sorry, babe" he sobbed and pressed his forehead against yours. "This shouldn't have happened…I wasn't there to protect you" he whispered bitterly, mad at himself even when he, objectively, knew it wasn't his fault. His mind was desperately looking for someone to blame. 

"Ken" you cried softly as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer as he hugged you back. "Please don't leave. I'm scared…" 

"I won't, princess. I'll stay by your side. I'll keep you safe" he said as he pulled back slowly. "Let's go home…" he purred as you shook your head, whimpering.

"I don't want to go back there" you cried. 

"Let's go to my place then…" he whispered, wiping your tears away from your face. "I'm renting a small apartment above the shop...it's not that big but, we can both fit perfectly. I'll make us some dinner, you can take a bath in the meantime, and if you need anything whatsoever, I'll be a couple of steps away from you, okay?" He explained as you looked at him, nodding softly. He smiled, a lump on his throat and tears welling in his eyes as he leaned forward, kissing your forehead. "Lets go then"