#like my heart will be if anna is married

[gildeddlily]

we don't care

we don't care if you see them as boyfriends, bestfriends, platonic soulmates, romantic soulmates, the new murder-husbands, but this show is majestic

naturally, for Anna Hanyu, my new supreme girl. She could crash my skull with her arms and I'd thank her as a ghost, then become her ghost pet. And then for the destroying gender norms with nonchalance (the whole kazuki character is the description of malewife, and they didn't made it in a forced or ridiculous way, he's just so beautiful and what every dad should be), for the trauma responses representation (yes kazuki we've heard you talking ab your parents abandoning you and your fiancé-child death and the way you reacted to miri's mom abandoning her. yes rei, you're the most fucked up in the whole anime, we've seen u sleeping in a frickin bathroom and refusing to smile and just suffer and never get the love you deserved and we've seen you making the opposite with miri, protecting her as a father and being super cute doing it), for the oh so adorable male&male friendship that is rarely seen on shows (it's easily understandable that they're not gonna be a couple in the canon verse, but they casually call miri "our child" and themselves "her papas" without shame and it's so refreshing to watch something like this)

It's not even like Yuri On Ice where the thing is really and totally gay (it was my first anime and the consequences are... alr)(they literally kissed), it's pure platonic canon relationship between two men that everyone can interpret as they want (the found family trope is enough for me), because they don't care ab anuthing other than giving Miri a good family. They're just two men, loving their children and doing a goddamn good job at it, as simple as that (we stan a non-queerbaiting anime with two male protagonists) now Im gonna cry and listen classic rock music in my bed

[anna-scribbles]

one day i will speak about the absolute romantic BLUEPRINT that is bill/rachel in the film Eloise at Christmastime (2003) and the way it is an adrinette au waiting to happen .

[talesofunlikelysapphicpairings]

I am not going to lie— the biggest reason why I am still in the Warrior Nun fandom, aside from Thekla and Sylvia, is because I have a huge crush on someone within the fandom. I am not just talking about "casual crush" where you smile when she passes by on my dashboard, or where I have a crush on her because I've seen her face and she's pretty. I am, honest to God and Jillian Salvius, crushing on this woman hard.

I have a huge crush on her because she's so intelligent, and eloquent, and deep; I can drown in her. For the past months, I've been trying to identify my problems and habits when it comes to romantic love (non-existent) so I will be ready when the best woman for me actually comes. I'm still in the process of shadow work but, damn, I want to drown in her. I want to listen to what she thinks of the world, of the news, of the weather; I want her to hear mine, too. (And I do have a lot of opinions on a lot of things.) I want to know her habits, and routine if she has one. I do not even care how she looks, where she lives, but I want to know how her brain works. I just... want to know her. No matter how deep she wants us to go. But I know this is hopeless.

I do not even know her intimately, FFS. (Although that could be debated since I have read all her works and am familiar with her writing style and choice of words; this is another kind of intimacy, I think.) I am just so, so impressed and taken by her. I know it is frangible, this attraction to the idea of her, but she is solely the reason why I am writing almost every night again.

I thought I was done with joining a fandom and writing for it because of something that happened years ago. Apparently not, because, well, I just found a new muse.

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Lionblaze and Icecloud I still fuck w/ you

[venus111]

Astrology observations

🧞‍♀️ venus in the 8th house synastry makes venus person nosey wanting to know the house person secrets(etc going through their phone) it can lead to distrusting each other

🧞‍♀️ having 12th house synastry with someone will lead you doing crazy things together you influence each other for better or for worse

🧞‍♀️ Sagittarius sun women can be told that they look like their father

🧞‍♀️ Gemini risings face verbal abuse setting boundaries and cutting ties may help you stay safe

🧞‍♀️ juno in Taurus crave romance,beauty and artistic pleasures

🧞‍♀️neptune in 28°,4° can indicate a parent who dealt with illness or addiction or a home where boundaries weren't clear and safe

🧞‍♀️ people with the same Mars sign fight with each other or have tensions

🧞‍♀️ I had a colleague I was very attracted to their voice it was calm and soft she had her Mars in my 3rd house

🧞‍♀️ Gemini placements can be obsessive and constantly want to be in touch with you (phone calls,texts,video chats ) if they start to develop feelings

🧞‍♀️earth signs experience premature greying of their hair

🧞‍♀️ people who are born on the 28th are billionaires or they end up marrying someone with money celebrities born on this day are Angelababy, Anna Nicole smith, bill gates and Elon musk

🧞‍♀️ Pisces and Virgo placements are seen as innocent people they are pure at heart and in actions

🧞‍♀️ Scorpio rising, Aries rising suffer from migraines

🧞‍♀️ Mercury square Venus synastry there’s a noticeable tension and friction in communication and affection between partners

🧞‍♀️ Individuals with Pluto in the 9th house feel a strong calling toward activities that promote personal growth and spiritual expansion

🧞‍♀️ Pisces,Sagittarius and Aquarius placements make the best music most of the popular artists of our generation have this

🧞‍♀️ Aquarius individuals are very romantic in their love relationships

[see-arcane]

My Criticism: the erotic bond of Thomas and Orlok and the romantic/sexual bond of Ellen and Anna deserved more focus. (But that's also my thoughts on the various Draculas). Happily surprised they gave some sexuality to the newlyweds it literally never happens with Dracula media

I think that for the amount of time and the focus of the story, Eggers fit in as much as he could without it overshadowing the main core of 1) Orlok targeting Ellen and 2) Thomas and Ellen being in love and headed for tragedy. And yes! Eggers lets these newlyweds be truly in love and hot for each other! It's like what we deserved with Jonathan and Mina for 127 years, very nearly! :')

SPOILERS BELOW

That said, I do think that short of a real kiss with Ellen and Anna, Eggers gave us a decent 'what-if' of what Mina and Lucy might have been like if they both made it to marriage (bar Harding not quite measuring up to Arthur Holmwood standards, loving husband and father though he is). They are both married young women now and Ellen is rooming under Anna's husband's roof. It'd be tricky to have anything properly raunchy go on, but we do at least get that scene of Ellen laying in bed with Anna!

Before the Orlok business happens. Augh.

As for Orlok and Thomas...oh, but there is a lot to unpack there.

To be clear, this is very much not Dracula and Jonathan's weird predatory thing. It is another, weirder, semi-callback to The Lighthouse kind of thing. At least in the vein that the brief homoerotic flints of interaction we get there--

The slow dance scene where the two men who hate each other almost share a kiss, only for the younger man to recoil in panic.

A scene of insults and accusation where the older man describes the younger as having eyes like a lady's.

--lean on braided elements of homoeroticism, homophobia, and violent/elder masculinity baring its teeth at gentler/younger masculinity via comparisons to women.

Or, to be frank, even as Orlok is bitter at Thomas being the man Ellen chose despite their 'covenant,' it isn't just the bitterness of, "She chose another man over me!" but, "She chose a weaker, younger, effeminate man over me!" Which paired perfectly (horribly) with his running theme of being a psychic rapist. Orlok is the more masculine man. Thomas is, in his eyes, the lesser, effete competition. Why, the boy may as well be a woman himself.

Cue Orlok taking a route with Thomas that we never see him take with any other man in the movie. He preys on Thomas in the exact same way he would eventually do to Ellen at the climax. The only dignity he leaves the young man with is that he does not strip him as he feeds--only Orlok is naked, crouched and feeding at Thomas' breast twice. The first time being the result of getting almost obscenely aroused--literally or hungrily--at the sight of Thomas' thumb bleeding. All we get to see there is Thomas' terror under sudden paralysis as Orlok closes in. And the next time we see Thomas is him, not on the chair where we last saw him, but sprawled on the floor.

On his stomach.

Dressed, true. But with his face and front down. Already bitten at the heart.

Then, in his last scenes with Orlok, we see him actively try to kill Orlok in his box. Orlok stops the attack, tracks him down to the locked room Thomas has hid in--a room in his own castle! which he could unlock!--and purposefully uses a trance to make Thomas open the door. Just as he trances Thomas into laying himself out on the bed, locked and afraid in his own body. Orlok falls on him, feeding again at Thomas' chest, loudly and deeply draining what sounds like a horrific amount of blood.

(There's a comment to be made about the reversal of taking in bodily fluids, but we'll skip that for now.)

In the midst of this, Thomas is treated to a vision of Ellen in Orlok's place. Seeing it, he looks almost docile. Welcoming.

Orlok, naked, drinks and drinks. And leaves him on the bed.

Instead of slaughtering him. He doesn't even call the wolves to him once he's finished to eat the leftovers.

Which I find strange, considering that in a future scene, Orlok muses aloud to Knock that Thomas yet lives. As if he's surprised. Did he have the wolves on a mental timer to come after Thomas by daylight? Or did he think that, despite Thomas' heart still miraculously beating, he had drained enough blood to assume the young man would die on his own?

Or.

Was the surprise not that Thomas was alive, but alive and human? Not the undead, like himself, like he planned to make Ellen?

It doesn't add up to have the wolves only appear by daylight to spook Thomas out of the window--if Orlok was so concerned about technically keeping his hands clean of murdering him and so keeping the covenant with Ellen technically not a thing of theft, he could have absolutely let the wolves in that night to finish the job and be sure Thomas was torn to pieces. Instead, Thomas is intact come sunup, the door left open to the wolves...

...who only come running and raging up to him once Thomas proves to still be alive and awake despite how he passed the night. Can't be undead if you aren't dead first. This, combined with how Thomas states later on that he still feels Orlok's shadow/hold on him, seems to imply that Orlok didn't want to just kill Thomas off. He seethes about Thomas so deeply that he would rather see the young man under his heel forever just as he means to keep Ellen under his thumb and mentally assaulted at every opportunity.

If Ellen is Orlok's prize for desire's sake, Thomas is Orlok's conquest made out of pride. 'Making a woman' of Ellen's chosen man. Hell, he puts the words in Ellen's mouth when he tugs a mental string in her to get them fighting. Despite Orlok only ever mentioning the technical truth of Thomas 'selling her for gold' (with a contract he could not read and assumed was for a commission and a completion of a house sale), Ellen somehow has the knowledge to accuse Thomas of 'falling into Orlok's arms'--when, in fact, Orlok mounted Thomas and did what he did.

...

......

.........

Which brings me to the grimmest point of this whole fucked up mess which I really truly hope is Not the Case.

Orlok had his puppeteer hands in both of the Hutters. He was obviously leaning heaviest on Ellen, but he had his grip on Thomas too. So I have to wonder.

How much of the sex scene between the Hutters was entirely their will?

What if Orlok, in full voyeur fashion, pulled even more strings to make that sudden feverish intimacy happen? Ellen says aloud that they will show him their love. Is it a show only Ellen wants them to put on? Or is it Orlok, once more violating his victims by proxy? Either way the shock-vision of Ellen weeping and vomiting blood cuts the mood immediately--however real or imagined it was--and both Hutters snap out of their haze to embrace.

No no no I am unclean

Nonsense I love you I love you

Something else for Orlok to watch. A little knife-twist from his face-to-face with Ellen--You cannot love--and fuel on the martyr fire for Ellen, who heard from Orlok that he would kill all she loves, including Thomas, if she refuses him--in another life, another threat: (If you make a sound I shall take him and dash his brains out before your very eyes.)--though the villain could have killed him a dozen times already. But she cannot take the gamble.

All of which is a very very long way of saying that while Orlok's main focus is definitely on Ellen, there are signs of another stranger hate-attraction with Thomas. The opponent he wants in full submission versus Ellen, the runaway bride to coerce into being his equal.

tl;dr: They're just not that into you, Orlok, let it go

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

Hiii! Could you imagine one where the reader finds out she's pregnant during one of Spencer's missions and when he comes home she has a crisis and ends up feeling ill and Spencer doesn't know how to help and the reader doesn't know how to tell him she's pregnant. (Both are already married)

i took this opportunity to set my pregnant!reader series into the future cause i already planned for them to have another child. request is tweaked justttt a little.

“my dear sweet penny, can you hit me with a bus? i want this misery to end.” you’ve been hit with the worst stomach bug or flu or just something that’s been lasting since spencer went on his case, five days ago.

your mom took your daughter for the day when you realized you weren’t getting out of bed anytime soon and you called in your reinforcement of one penelope garcia. the case ended yesterday but the team had to stay an extra day due to weather in their state, so penelope has been keeping you company for the past two days. it was nice to have an adult conversation instead of bluey and the same princess movies.

“okay, if you’re pleading for death that means it’s time to head over to a hospital. i don’t want spencer to hypothetically bite my head off if something happens to you.” her bright blonde hair was your shining sun in your darkened bedroom. and her jewelry were loud gongs with each step she took. “i hate to sound like a bitch but can you like, be the opposite of yourself today?” moaning and groaning as you tried pushing off the tossed sheets.

“yeah, you need a doctor. cause and i quote ‘penny if i even say to change yourself i’ve been abducted and that’s an alien.’ hopefully they can give you good drugs.”

at the hospital they took some blood, made you pee and just did a bunch of other check ups when it was shown you were sick with anything. so after an hour or so your doctor renters the sterile room with his clipboard and a poker face. “well, you’re not sick, but you are pregnant. we’ll get an ultrasound in here to check on the fetus.” talk talk talk and then he left again, leaving you and penelope open mouthed shocked.

“holy shit,” breathing out as your hand rubbed over your still small belly. “i told spencer i couldn’t keep my hands to myself.” telling that to the ceiling.

“oh, i’ll have another godchild! i’m so happy to live vicariously through you.” penelope stood at your side and smiled down at you. you turned your head towards her, “you know when they’re older, you’ll be our go-to babysitter then. so just be prepared for that.”

with the ultrasound done they confirmed you were almost done with your first trimester and that left you a bit shocked. you were three months pregnant but didn’t know, now you understand how some of those other ladies feel. but you were excited for another, but then you were done, seriously.

you tried calling spencer after leaving but his phone when to voicemail, but you didn’t think anything of it. probably feel asleep or out doing something with his team. so when you arrived to your mom’s place you were a bit surprised to see your husband holding your daughter and swinging her around.

“you’re back!” penny the first to speak and move further into the home. spencer and anna both turned their heads and smiled at the bright lady. “auntie penny!” your annabeth squealed with an arm out.

she happily took her from spencer’s hold and moved her away so you could talk with spencer. his puppy eyes and downturn mouth made your heart soar, oh how he’s gonna get you into so much trouble.

“you feeling better? your mom said it’s been a week.” pulling you into his hold, cheek pressed into his chest as his palms rubbed over your shoulder blades and spine. you sighed, “yeah, penny took me to the doctor. turns out i wasn’t sick… i was- i am pregnant.”

spencer’s hands stopped and leaned back, “what?” his brows raised into his curling locks. “how far along?” “three months…” biting into your bottom lip as you watched him go through his mental calendar. you both knew your period was irregular, that’s why you didn’t think anything of it.

“so it must’ve been sometime after annie’s fourth birthday,” spencer came to the conclusion. leaned in to peck your forehead, “are you okay with another?” always making sure you were okay with the decision.

you smiled up at him with a twinkle in your eyes, “absolutely.”

[lazycats-stuff]

Batfam x M reader hwere the reader is Bruce's older brother, who decided to move away from Gotham after a really big fight between him and Bruce (before Dick was adopted) Bruce wanted to reach out, but never really did because he thought the reader hated him. At some point the reader decided to come back to Gotham and meet with Bruce because he got married and had a kid, but his partner died and he needed support + his kid wanted to know about their uncle. Now total shock on the batfam part because they have an uncle??? And Bruce didn't tell them??? Now they try to build a relationship, but Bruce is still a bit distant because he feels guilty

Oh, this screams angst and fluff at the same time, aaah. Also, 1.5k followers, thank you everyone. My questionable writing is nice and good it seems.

Summary: Bruce's and (Y/N)'s relationship broke down. (Y/N) reaches out.

Warnings: fluff, angst and all in between.

(Y/N) wiped his tears yet again. He lost his husband a month or so ago and it wasn't easy by any means. They had adopted a little girl a few years ago and they named her Anna. She is an adorable little girl and a smart one too. But kids are always perceptive in certain ways. (Y/N) put the photos of his husband down and turned to the little patter of feet coming towards him.

He turned to his little girl, putting her in his lap while they sat on the couch quietly. (Y/N) smiled at his daughter, but just that made him hurt. But he needed to be strong for his little girl. She needed a strong parent right now, more than anything in the world. That was something that she needed.

Not weakness. Anna was hurting too and she needed nothing but support... But (Y/N) needs his support too. He needs someone to turn too. He can only be strong for so long. And not to mention, there were so many bills to pay and he didn't know how... Oh dear God.

" Hey honey, can't sleep? " (Y/N) asked his daughter, who nodded yawning.

" Yeah... I miss papa. " She said quietly and (Y/N) took everything in him to not break down in front of his daughter.

" I miss papa too honey. "

" Can you tell me more about uncle Bruce? " Anna asked in her innocent childlike way, not knowing how complex the situation was. (Y/N) didn't blame her in the slightest, wanting to know more about your family is something normal. Even though you are a child and adopted one too, wanting to know more makes (Y/N)'s heart even warmer.

" Well, your uncle Bruce is my younger brother. " (Y/N) started, smiling at his daughter, despite the pain he felt. Bruce was always a sore subject for him. Deep down inside he loved Bruce, but the fight they had broke that love. He adjusted his daughter in his arms and continued.

" He is brave, courageous. Annoying sometimes, but that's normal. Everyone is a little bit annoying sometimes. " (Y/N) said, making Anna giggle, for the first time in a few days.

" Why he never comes? " Anna asked and (Y/N)'s heart was hit with sorrow and pain.

" We don't like one another. Sometimes adults don't like each other and don't speak about it. " (Y/N) said and Anna tilted her head in wonder and curiosity.

" Why? "

" Adults are complex. Complicated. " (Y/N) explained and the little girl hummed, tilting her head.

" Really dad? "

" Yes love. " (Y/N) responds and she simply gets out of his lap to look at the pictures of her papa. She sighed quietly and glanced back at her dad.

" I want to meet uncle Bruce. " Anna stated and (Y/N)'s heart started beating faster and faster. He doesn't really want to. He doesn't want to open up those old wounds...

Would Bruce even want to meet her?

" I can try honey. " (Y/N) swallowed and Anna's smile was worth it. Really worth the anxiety and the stress he is about to go through. And maybe he needs family in this situation.

Support sounds great right now.

" Thank you dad. " Anna said and left to go back to her room. (Y/N) smiled. Bruce would love her.

But (Y/N) isn't going to like this.

That next morning, Anna went to kindergarten and (Y/N) has decided to call Bruce to set up a meeting. He can't just come by unannounced, even though the manor is also his, he just can't. It would be rude, considering the fact that Bruce had four boys, one biological it seems.

And Bruce took over the Wayne Enterprises too, so he must be busy. And being Batman too is not an easy feat. But around 10 am, (Y/N) called Bruce, nervous and anxious beyond belief. This is not something he would have done if it weren't for the fact that his daughter asked him too.

" (Y/N)? " It rang out in (Y/N)'s ear and (Y/N) took a deep breath.

" Yes, it's me B. " (Y/N) answered, using an old nickname from their childhood.

" It has been what, 5 years... " Bruce hesitated and (Y/N) let out a little yeah in response.

" How is life? " Bruce asked and (Y/N) teared up for a second before calming down.

" My husband passed away recently. " (Y/N) said and the silence was loud.

" I'm sorry to hear that... I didn't know you got married... " Bruce said and (Y/N) winced quietly.

" Yeah... It was small. We also adopted a little girl. " (Y/N) said and he swore he heard a deep breath on the other side.

" A nice change. " Bruce said and (Y/N) chuckled. A joke about the fact that Bruce has all boys... It's nice to joke around.

" And Anna wants to meet her uncle Bruce. "

" You talked to her about me? "

" Yup. She was curious. " (Y/N) answered and Bruce chuckled again. " And I need help... I feel like I'm drowning. " (Y/N) said, wiping his tears.

" What do you mean? " Bruce asked, wanting more explanation.

" I'm drowning in bills and I need some emotional support. And I don't want to seem like I'm calling for money, but- " (Y/N) started rambling, but Bruce cut him off.

" Don't. I know you didn't call for money. Besides, that's your money too. "

" Well, I lived humbly for so long, I forgot I was rich I guess. " (Y/N) chuckled quietly, sitting down on the couch in the process.

" I guess so... If you need help, I'll... I'll be more than happy to help. " Bruce offered, but (Y/N) sensed something more. But none the less, he decided to leave it be for now. " You can even move back with Anna. You know the manor has more than enough room. " Bruce offered and (Y/N) hesitated.

" Well... I would have to move Anna's kindergarten... And all that stuff." (Y/N) started and Bruce cur him off yet again.

" Don't worry about that now. You and your daughter need to have a stable environment. So drop by the manor. You can meet your nephews too. "

" It wouldn't be a bad idea. "

And that's how (Y/N) and Anna went to the Wayne Manor, the little girl being excited in the backseat of the car. She let out a sound of pure surprise when she saw the manor in it's full glory. " This is where uncle Bruce lives?! " She yelled and (Y/N) chuckled as he parked the car inside the manor yard.

" Is it true I have cousins? " She asked as (Y/N) quickly left the car and then moved to unbuckle her. She quickly ran out and (Y/N) sighed.

" Not so fast young lady! " (Y/N) yelled after her and the girl stopped, smiling at her dad, taking his hand as they walked up to the door. (Y/N) rang the bell, waiting for Alfred to open up. Oh God, this is weird to be here yet again after these 5 years.

Alfred quickly opened up with a smile and gave (Y/N) a tight hug.

" Oh I missed you master (Y/N). " Alfred said and (Y/N) nodded.

" You talk funny. " Anna said and Alfred chuckled, leaning down to look at the little girl.

" That's right, I do. Now come on miss, lets meet your cousins. " He said as he led the little girl inside, who was giggling happily. (Y/N) took a deep breath to compose himself before entering the manor, the place where his life started and changed so many times. He walked inside, breath hitching at the sight of his nephews, both adopted three and one biological, who looked just liked Bruce at that age...

It's just eerie...

He was caught off guard by a sudden hug from the oldest son by the looks of it. (Y/N) huffed from the force, but patted the back of the oldest son.

" I'm Dick, nice to meet you. " Dick said once he pulled away, a big smile on his face as he was shaking his hand with a firm shake.

" (Y/N), nice to meet you too. " (Y/N) said quietly, quickly glancing at Anna who was talking to Bruce quietly. Bruce seemed gentle with her and that's more than enough to ease his heart.

" I'm Tim. " Tim introduced himself to his uncle and (Y/N) noted to himself how tired Time looked, but maybe it's due to the fact that he was a vigilante. But something else was off, but that's something for another time.

" Jason... How come Bruce never told us about you? " Jason asked and (Y/N) shrugged his shoulders.

" We... Didn't end up on a good note... I guess guilt and anger. " (Y/N) says and Bruce listened from his spot with Anna, who was just talking away.

Jason hummed and moved to allow Damian to say hello to his blood uncle.

" Uncle. You look different than I imagined. " Damian said in his voice and (Y/N) swore it really was Bruce at age...

" Damian. You are a copy of your father. " (Y/N) noted and glanced at his daughter for a second, seeing how Bruce was holding Anna in his arms.

" I know, I've been told that. " Damian responded shortly. Just like Bruce. Jesus. It's eerie beyond belief.

" Anna, do you like books? " Bruce asked her and she nodded happily. Bruce turned to (Y/N) and his boys. " Can the boys take her to the library? " Bruce asked and (Y/N) knew that they had to talk about their relationship. What to do now and all that.

" Sure. " (Y/N) said and the boys, including Alfred, led the little girl to the library. She was so happy, just giggling, not even a sense of her father's turmoil.

" Can we go outside? I need a smoke. " (Y/N) said, taking his pack out already. Bruce simply opened the terrace door that lead to the garden, where they sat down.

(Y/N) lit up his cigarette and took a long drag, trying to ease his nerves. He let the smoke out and glanced at Bruce.

" This is weird... "

" I know. Look, you can always come back home. " Bruce said dryly and (Y/N) noticed the distance. Noticed the look.

" Look... We were stupid to fight like that... And you are not to blame... I am to blame too... " (Y/N) said as he took a long drag.

" No, it was me. All on me. " Bruce said, looking at the garden ahead, refusing to look at his brother from guilt.

" Don't say that... I think we need to repair our relationship. For your boys and for my daughter. And us too. I do miss my little annoying brother. "

Bruce didn't respond and just sighed.

" Don't blame yourself. " (Y/N) said as he blew the smoke yet again. " Do you want me to move back? Anna would like that. And it would make things easier for me too. " (Y/N) said quietly, finishing his cigarette in the ashtray.

" Don't be distant Bruce. "

Bruce sighed yet again. It was hard not to be distant in this situation. Especially when you think you are at fault for the fight.

" I would love to meet my niece more and try to be that fun uncle. I want to take some of your stress too. Some burdens off too. " Bruce said, still looking away.

He couldn't even look (Y/N) in the eyes.

(Y/N) just sighed. They really had a long way to go.

[voxmortuus]

✧*̥˚ PAIRING: *̥˚✧ Yandere!Count Vronsky x F!Reader!Wife ✧*̥˚ UNIVERSE: *̥˚✧ Anna Karenina ✧*̥˚ WORD COUNT: *̥˚✧ 3.6k ✧*̥˚ PROMPT: *̥˚✧ This was given to me by the lovely @bettytaylorversion || Okay, okay I'm lately obsessed with yandere Count Vronsky, so how about yan Vronsky suspecting that his wife is seeing someone or like in love with someone and it doesn't help when his mother keeps feeding his suspicions so he ends up locking the wife/reader up in their house in countryside/ another country house where no one can reach them and where he makes sure his beloved wife knows exactly how much he loves her. ✧*̥˚ TRIGGER WARNINGS: *̥˚✧ Dead Dove Do Not Eat | Yandere Count | Possessive Count | Aggressive Count | Stalker Count | Demanding Count | Accusations of Cheating | Toxic Mother | False ideas | False Suspicions from mother | Toxic Marriage? | Isolation of Reader | Slapping | Pushing or Shoving | Yelling | Slamming doors | Gripping readers throat | Passionate making out | Throwing reader on bed | Stripping reader | Unprotected PiV | Aggressive sex | Reader fights a bit but stops fighting | Dub-Con? | insinuated Cream Pie | Crying Reader | Fluff | Reader questions if she loves him at the end | Relationship conflictions | PLEASE TELL ME IF I FORGOT ANYTHING!!! I want to make sure readers are fully aware of what they are getting themselves into when they read this… ✧*̥˚ NOTES: *̥˚✧ I've been wanting to write for him for a long while! Thank you love for this request! I hope this is along the lines of what you were hoping for... Sorry if it doesn't hit exactly what you're looking for but I tried!!! Anywho.... I hope this brings you some joy. ✧*̥˚ DIVIDER CREDIT: *̥˚✧ @nyxvuxoa ✧*̥˚ TIME PASSER DIVIDER CREDIT: *̥˚✧ @voxmortuus ✧*̥˚ IMAGE CREDIT: *̥˚✧ @peachyspaceslvt ✧*̥˚ ATJ TAGLIST: *̥˚✧ @earth-elemental18 @nyxvuxoa-writes ✧*̥˚ My Master Masterlist | Aaron Taylor-Johnson Masterlist *̥˚✧

It was this gnawing feeling, this feeling of dread, sorrow, a pain in his gut he couldn't shake. Watching you go as he leaned against the window frame, he knew where you were going. He knew, he just had this gut feeling that he couldn't quite shake. It ate at his heart, it ate at his brain, it was like these cogs and wheels working, but not in a way of rationality. His thoughts were completely irrational. Looking out that window as your carriage vanished into the thick fog of the dawn, he felt so lost, so angry. He wasn't happy, and not happy may be quite an understatement.

Placing a hand-rolled cigarette between his lips he grabbed a match from the fireplace and lit it. The smoke bellowed above, tossing the match into the fire he turned to see his mother sitting at the table.

"She does not have love for you anymore, Alexei." She stated. Her tone appeared caring, honest, maybe even having pity, but it was just because she didn't like you.

"She must love me. That is my wife, she must." He stated he didn't seem demanding about it, he seemed sad, heartbroken even.

"But she does not. She will never love you as she loves him. What married woman is happy with her husband? She has grown bored of you. Had she not she would not go to him as she does." She points out.

His heart, if it was a glass a cat had pushed off the counter it would have shattered. He only hoped that you were as enraptured by him as he was about you. He looked up at the wall, the painting of you seemed to be watching. He closed his stormy blue eyes and looked back at his mother.

"She does love me. I know it to be true. You speak lies, like a snake in the garden." He snapped and walked to the table and had taken a sip from the slightly sweetened tea he had poured only moments before your leaving. Sitting there he tapped his smoke against a small crystal ashtray and his mind became overrun, thinking of everything his mother had stated. Thinking of those possibilities. What were you doing? Were you spreading your legs for him? Was he satisfying you? Were you unhappy with him? Did you not love him? Did you grow bored of him? He rubbed his lip a moment as he took another drag before looking at his mother.

"When she comes home, I will settle this." He stated. Taking the cup and his almost-gone smoke and had vanished to the bedroom. He sits on the edge of the bed after putting the cup on the bedside table and looks over your side of the bed. It was too much, these feelings he had, it was like they were just bubbling up, ready to overflow and put out the fire that kept the pot lit. Feeling the stinging in his nose from the slight anger he ran his hand through his curly blonde locks and his jaw clenched as he put his smoke out in the ashtray and grabbed his clothes for getting dressed before he slammed the bedroom door.

His mother had heard the slam and had made her way to the room. Letting herself in she looked over him and sighed. "I just want what is best for you."

"I said I would take care of it. I do not need your help. She is my wife, not yours." He sort of snapped.

"You are right, she is your wife. And your wife is off with another man, spreading her legs and enjoying her time away from you. So how are you going to handle that Alexei?" She asked.

"I will take her away from here. I will take her far away from everyone. Including you." He snapped. "Now if you do not mind, I am getting dressed. Go find something else to bother." He snarled slightly as he escorted her out of the doorway and closed and locked the bedroom door.

Looking out the bedroom window and looking over the garden, he watched the flowers bob from the heaviness of the heads that were filled with the morning dew. It was something so simple, and yet even looking at their beauty, he saw you, he saw your smile, your smooth skin, your curves, he saw how your hair fell, that glow in your eyes when you were happy. You had to love him, why was he questioning it? Why was he standing there, looking out on those flowers questioning if you loved him?! With a clenched jaw and a knitted brow, he threw open the closet door and grabbed his attire for the day.

After fastening the last button on his coat, he makes his way back to the kitchen- it's like he doesn't want to acknowledge the other parts of the home without you here. Feeling lost, and one track minded. He didn't like that you were gone, it loomed over him like a dark cloud heavy with rain looms over the dirt countryside roads. He needed to know where you were going. He needed to know what you were doing. He needed to know what you were saying. Were you tired of him? Were you unhappy? It just gnawed at him like a beaver gnawing on a log.

Why was this even a feather of a thought? It's not that he didn't want you to have friends, it's just, why did they have to be male friends? And even then, it wasn't the idea of male friends that bothered him, it was the embedded, plated thoughts from the snake in the garden that made him believe that you were unhappy, that you were not in love with him any longer, that you were looking for a way out of this relationship. Well, that was going to be nipped in the bud right away. There was going to be no second-guessing it, not after this.

He decided to gather himself a little more and decided to head out to find you. He had these questions that needed answers. He turned to look at his mother who was still there. "Watch the house while I am away. We will be gone for a while." He states. His mother went to speak but before she could retort with a comment he was out the door and off to the stables.

After a few hours of looking and getting a general idea of where you were he stopped, getting off the carriage he approached, standing a good distance behind as you stood there, talking to another man. Oh, this did not sit well with him, but he watched and observed. With a lick of his lips and a look of heartache, as you touched the other man's face, he couldn't help but feel that slithering snake of a mother of his was right.

The more he watched, the more you laughed, the closer this man seemed to be getting to you, and the more it climbed up him like ivy claiming lattice fencing. This green envious monster coils around his every nerve, his nostrils flair as he walks toward you and clears his throat, but you don't pay much attention until he grabs your arm and pulls you to him.

You gasp and look over his face. "My Love, what are you doing here?" You ask him.

"I could ask you the very same." He states. His stare was cold, his stare pained, and his stare… it bore into you like a hot glue gun into plastic.

"I am just out with a friend, we do this every week. It means nothing." You state honestly.

"Does it? Does it really mean nothing? You were touching his face, and laughing with him like you do with me. Do I not make you happy anymore? Have you grown bored and weary of me?" He asks you with a small shake in his voice almost as if holding back tears.

"Of course you make me happy, why would you ask such a thing?" you respond back looking into his stormy blue hues.

His jaw clenches and he looks at your friend and back to you. "We are leaving." He states as if dismissing you from your date with your male friend.

"What? No. Alexei, no." you stated.

"I do not know him, nor do I like how you were touching him, we are going somewhere. You'll like it. Get in." he states and gestures to the carriage.

"Alexei, no." You state firmly.

He clenches his jaw and looks over you. "Do not make me put you in there myself. Now. Be a good wife, and get in the carriage." He snarls lowly.

Licking your lips you look over his face and let out a slight breath before getting into the carriage. Feeling the shake of the carriage from the door closing. Placing your hands in your lap you look down, studying them a moment before you close your eyes almost in defeat, and wonder where he is taking you. It was clear he wasn't taking you home. Why was he suddenly acting this way? What was it that made him feel like you were unhappy? You began to study yourself, you even began to question yourself. But why? His actions alone.

His actions just then made you question if this was really where you needed to be. But the more you thought about it, the more you realized that maybe he was seeing something you were not seeing. Were you really happier with your friend than you were with him? Was he not seeing how much you loved him? Were you really doing something bad? You turn back and look at him as he stops the carriage and climbs into the back of it with you as someone else takes over. Someone he had paid to drop you both off and take the carriage back to the house.

You sit there, in silence, and you study him, you study his face, his eyes, how his jaw twitches, how his brow knits, how his eyes seem to be full of sorrow, and maybe is that hate? You look down, and you think about all you've done, but you can't help but shake your head. You love this man, and he was blind to false things. Was there a way to fix it? Was there a way to get him to see that you love him just as much as he loves you?

"Where are we going? There is nothing for miles." You point out looking out the little window of the carriage door.

"We're going someplace secluded." He states.

"Secluded? Whatever for?" You ask with a slight bit of worry in your tone.

"Enough with the questions, you will see when we get there." He states, short in his tone.

You lick your lips and hike a brow before looking back down at your lap and letting out a slight sigh. You feel this could get problematic.

By the time you get to where you were going, the sun had already set and come back up. You look over his face as he offers to help you off the carriage. Your jaw clenches and you shake your head.

"Are you serious? Why are we here? We are days away from home at this rate Alexie." You point out.

HE shakes his head and looks at you and looks over the country home before looking back at you. "You will survive. This is for a reason."

"THIS IS ABSURD!" You scream. The only thing you cause to stir is birds out in the field. Your jaw clenches and you look over him shoving past him and heading toward the inside.

He sighs slightly and shakes his head, he isn't expecting you to understand. Rubbing his brow a moment he looks up at the gray skies and then over on the vast rolling fields of nothing. A small smile creeps across his face as he listens to the front door being slammed. Another soft sigh escapes his lips as he heads toward the house.

Upon walking in he looks around and spots you standing there in the living room. As he walks toward you to join you, you turn and look at him.

"What is all of this about?" You ask.

"You need to see how much love I have for you. I cannot do that back there." He stated honestly.

"So you isolate me?!" You raise your tone.

"Yes! It keeps you away from another man touching you!" He snaps.

"NO ONE ELSE IS TOUCHING ME!" You snap back.

"HOW DO I KNOW?!" He steps closer to you.

"No. You don't get to ask me that question! How do you not see that I love you!? I have always loved you!" You snarl as you step forward challenging him.

"Well, I suppose now you can show me just how much you love me as I show you how much I love you." He stated coldly.

"Don't be so pigeon-livered." You growl to yourself. "You're being a floozer Alexei. What has ever gotten into you?" You ask him.

"Are you really going to throw insults at me? Pigeon-livered? Floozer? Do not." He grips your arm and pulls you close. "Do not cross me."

You shove him and look over his face. "Or what?" You ask with a tightly knitted brow. "What are you going to do?"

Stretching his neck from left to right he licks his lips and his jaw clenched.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!" You snapped.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!" He snapped back. He began to pace. "All I ever do is shower you with love and attention, I do nothing but prove to you how much you mean to me. I make sure you always put your best forward. And you do this. Run off with another man doing god knows what." He states.

Crossing your arms over your chest you stare at him a moment and blink a few times. "Are you blinded by your own selfishness right now? Can you not see past your own nose? I am not laying with another man Alexei! I have never laid with another man!" you snap.

"HOW DO I KNOW THAT?!" He snaps. "How do I know that?" He asked you. A complete and utter look of defeat sprawled across his features.

Walking to him you slap him across the face. Not once, but twice. Reaching forward he grips your throat and moves you through the house. Kicking open a door he shoves you into the bedroom and starts to unbutton his jacket. Looking over you his eyes hungry. His snarl was fierce, his jaw clenched so hard you could hear the bones grinding and you could feel the flex of his jaw. You try to shove past him but that wasn't happening.

"What are you going to do rape me Alexei?" You ask.

He scoffed and looked over at you. "Do you think that little of me? Strip." He demands.

"No." You cross your arms. At this point, you were fighting him to fight, how far could you push?

"I said strip!" He demands again. Walking to you he spins you around and starts to untie your skirt.

Layer by layer you fight, until you are both stripped down to mere thin layers. Tears staining your face, you look over him and shake your head, a small thumping sound of your heart feeling like it was echoing in the room.

"All I have ever wanted was for you to love me. You have to love me, you must love me." He states. He steps closer to you, looking over you he grips your face and pulls you near. "You will love me. You will." He states firmly.

Scared at this point you cannot find your words. He presses his lips to yours and at first, you give in, you cave, you wrap your arms around him and kiss him deeply, lovingly, longing for that affection he wanted to give you, but then you start to push away, saddened by the fact that he couldn't believe you, that he had no trust in you.

"No…" You start to push away, but you didn't want him to at the same time, it was this conflicting feeling.

"Do not tell me no, you want this…" he points out as he listens to your breathing.

You have no means of responding.

"I'm not taking that as a no." he states.

You give him a cold stare, looking over his face, his lips press against yours and you shove him back, and he throws you to the bed. You bounce once before he climbs on top of you and looks you over. He tilts his head and looks over your face and takes your wrists and places them above your head and looks over your face intently.

You attempt to wiggle free but he hovers over you, his body pressed against yours. In one hand he has your hands gripped together, in the other hand hikes up your skirt, he looks over you, and he leans in and nips at your lips. Your breathing becomes heavier, and you close your eyes. Shaking your head you begin to breathe heavier. It felt good, his hands on you, it always felt good, but there was this sense of fight that also washed over you.

As his lips found your neck he kissed up your neck to your jaw, finding your lips. While you loved his affection, you were terrified. Literally scared of him.

"Get off of me." you demand.

"Let me show you. See how much I love you." He takes your hand and places it on his hard cock. "This is how much I love you." He states.

You pull your hand away and turn your head in another direction. His senses overwhelm him, and unable to control himself he groans softly as he presses himself against you. You turn your head away from him, maybe checking out, but at the same time ever so present in this moment. As he thrusts himself into you you take in a deep breath. A whimper leaves your lips as a groan leaves his.

Looking over you he observes your features as he turns your face to look at him, leaning in he kisses you again. And it was then you cave, just a little. Your lips pressed against his, your hand moved up his arms to his hair and you pull him closer. Your hips roll against his thrusts and you begin to whimper against his lips. The feeling of him against you was something you always loved. Truthfully you never questioned this man's love for you. But you were conflicted because of how he was coming at you. You didn't know if you should fight him, or cave to him a little more.

The more he thrusts the harder he becomes in his motions, the more you fight. But the more you fight, the more he growls, it was a conflicting feeling all over again and you aren't sure what to do, it was overwhelming. You push him away, shoving him but he pulls you closer.

Feeling your body flush against his you let out another soft whimper. You move your hands to his shoulders as you feel him thrust deeper into you, your moans escaping you were almost pained but yet pleasure-filled. Your hips rolled against his as he continued to thrust with a fever. He pulls you even closer to him, pulling you into his lap as he guides you along his stiffened cock, nuzzling into you, nipping and biting at you.

The moans fill the bedroom, bouncing off the windows and the walls, and while you might be fighting him because of his choice of actions, this man was your life. You kiss him deeply as you both moan in pure pleasure. Your bodies collide in such a raw motion. Thrust after thrust, grunt, and groan after grunt and groan, screams of pure euphoria leaving you both. It all came to a halt with a trembling body-shaking finish, feeling as his cock twitched inside of you as hot ribbons of seed coat your velvet walls. He snarled against your skin, and you bring a hand across his face, and you begin to cry.

Holding you close, he looks down at you, smoothing your hair he presses his face against you.

"Shh… now now, everything is alright. I love you, so much." He whispers. "You have to love me back, you just have to." he says softly.

"I… I do love you, Alexei. I do. I wish you would see that." you say between sniffles.

He holds you close, nuzzling against you. "Shall we draw you a bath?" He asks.

Nodding your head he looks over your face and nods. "I shall draw you a bath. Think about what I said." He states.

"Are you isolating me? From everyone?" you ask as he gets up and slips his pants back on.

With a firm stare, he looks over you. "I am, and it's for our own good. You won't be seeing him, we will stay here as long as it takes." He states truthfully.

And like that, your heart becomes conflicted, you love this man, but you feel scared of this man… but then you look at him, and you don't feel afraid anymore. You just want him to see that you do love him. It's conflicting, and it's terrifying, you love him, but is it true? Staying here, you're only choice is to grow to love him. But that's been his goal all along, for you to love him, and for him to show you in so many ways how he loves you.

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

I forgot to post this Frozen Heart lore when I recorded it

Anna and Elsa:

have a tutor called Erlingur 

There are seven neighbouring isles (might be Britain, Ireland, Iceland, Greenland, Spitzbergen, Faroe, Shetland?) (I’d add Denmark but to my dismay it’s mostly not an island) 

call their mom and dad by Mama and Papa 

Friends with a girl called Rani from a country where there’s 'large sandy beaches' and coconuts

Anna has a horse named Kjekk since she’s at least 15

Elsa has beautiful Penmanship 

Hans: 

hates his brothers like, so much 

Dad too, moms okay actually 

Oldest brother is called Caleb

Parents have been married nearly 30 years

Caleb‘s wife is visibly uncomfortable, 'almost nine months' along with her second, that marriage is a wreck. The first child is a son.

King actually likes that wife (because shes having his grandkid)

lol Hans says he’s not even a spare just a throwaway

The twins are Rudi and Runo, respectively 'average height with reddish hair similar to Hans‘' and 'freakishly tall with freakishly blonde hair that stuck straight up, pale eyebrows, and pale eyes'. He looks perpetually shocked.

the guy self harms I think

People might have thrown glassware at him before 

all the brothers are married with children except the twins and Hans, former two are courting someone I think

The princes are 'a handsome bunch' implied to be ginger and tall (except Runo)

The third brother is Lars, after whom there’s a five-year gap before the next child

Lars‘s wife is called Helga and has never quite forgiven her family for shipping her to the southern islands. She’s implied to be pregnant and doesn’t like anyone here

Hans‘s horse is called Sitron

I think Blavenia and Vakretta are supposed to be neighbouring countries 

:3 you’re welcome

[deadpcnned]

Sealed by the Storm (jj.m)

chapter five

pairing: jj maybank x reader; marriage of convenience

content warning(s): mentions of vomiting

author's note: i always sit down thinking i have nothing to write and then the chapters end up this long... i'm sorry. if you're reading this, maybe you can lmk if you'd prefer the chapters be shorter (esp since it's a series)

join the taglist | series masterlist

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JJ feels as though he can still tell which patches of grass he'd stepped over when he trekked the path he is currently walking less than twenty-four hours ago. Only yesterday, he was making his way to the familiar red brick steps that would lead him to one of his most life-altering moments. JJ had always expected to be a frequent flyer at the Kildare County Courthouse, but his two most recent trips to the establishment couldn't have existed in his wildest dreams. 

Getting married at nineteen — sorry, John B— to you would have been like a weird fever dream he experienced while on a crazy trip. Being a property and store owner with his best friends? That dream he had kept buried deep inside his heart for years. From as early as twelve, JJ saw the potential in the property where they'd built Poguelandia 2.0. He spent many nights using the open water to catch something to make for his dad and or to make an escape when he needed to. He knew that land and that water like he knew the back of his hand. Building a business like the shop from the ground up had been what JJ had made his eighth-grade career fair project about. He'd completed it with a piece of printer paper he'd stolen from the school library and a red marker he'd taken from his homeroom teacher. He'd crumpled it up and thrown it away before he could turn it in when he realized all the kids had made theirs on full-sized poster boards.

It was moments like those that had made him decide early on he'd never be a business owner. Those subtle reminders that he was in a league so far behind the rest that even completing a middle school project properly wasn't possible for him. When he and the rest of the Pogues had established Poguelandia 2.0, he couldn't believe it. It was proof that twelve-year-old JJ hadn't been wrong. Forget proof of validation- it had made him happy. So happy. To belong, to have purpose. And that happiness may be snatched from his grip in an hour. 

JJ drove the Twinkie up to the courthouse, and in the time he'd spent parking it, the Pogues had already begun making their way in. Spotting Kie, he decides to try to catch up to her. Kie had been quiet all morning, and he obviously hadn't had the time to talk to her last night. If he's being honest, he isn't sure what he'd say to her if she were willing to talk. 'I'm sorry?' 'You up?' Nothing he'd say in any other situation made sense in this one. What did a guy say to the girl he was sleeping with after getting married? 

"Kie—" JJ's call is cut quiet when he notices who Kiara has just met up with in the gathering crowd. Anna Carrera embraces her daughter tight, while Mike Carrera stands with a straight face behind his wife. JJ tries to turn the other way to dodge them, but Kiara has already heard him and is waving him over. Fighting a grimace, JJ makes his way over to the trio. 

"Morning," JJ says, nodding at Mike and Anna. He should probably shake Mike's hand, but he isn't a fan of false niceties and Mike and JJ are not cordial. 

"You showed up," Mike chides, resulting in a tap to his chest from his wife, who is clearly trying to keep the peace. 

"It's a hearing concerning my property. Where else would I be?" JJ shrugs. Mike has never been a fan of Kiara hanging around the Pogues, but he definitely has a personal vendetta against JJ. It's been like that for years. Maybe he has some fatherly sixth sense that told him JJ's relationship with Kie was different from the rest, but JJ thought it was more that Mike saw him for exactly what he is — nothing good. 

"Didn't bring your wife? Not dragging her into this with you?" Mike's question might have thrown JJ off — what with being addressed as having a wife— if it didn't feel like he'd spit the word. He can't figure out why Mike, referring to you that way, claws out an even darker part of him than he usually feels come out with Kie's dad. 

"Her name's Y/N," JJ corrects, his tone low. "She's a good friend of your daughters, actually. I dropped 'em both off here just now." JJ lifts his right shoulder to give off an air of disregard for Mike's faux concern. 

"Right. Well, I hope you don't mind giving us some time with our daughter," Mike uses his hand to gently guide Kiara into the courthouse with him, and JJ waits for Kiara to stiffen up and bristle, telling her dad no. But when he looks at Kie, he doesn't see the same fire he usually does when her parents are sticking their noses in her business. The fire is still there, but instead of defiance, it is fueled by something bitter JJ can't quite place. He watches as she lets her father guide her, not waiting to see if JJ will follow. 

JJ knows he probably looks like an idiot, standing alone like he's frozen. He feels it then, that tight pull right in the center of his chest. A loop of everything wrong starts to run through his mind: Kiara's mad. Property hearing. Groff's my dad. Kooks always win. The loop won't end no matter how hard he tries to turn it off. The volume may decrease as he gets more feedback to interpret, but it'll still be there like a low thrum in the background. 

He finally picks up his feet and moves towards the courthouse, his mind only half there, as if he is floating instead of making the mindful decision to walk. As he draws near the ivory building, he sees Pope and Cleo standing by the doors, in conversation with Pope's parents. It's the person standing a few feet away from the red steps who captures his attention. 

There you are, standing all alone in the bustling crowds. His fucking wife. Your eyes keep flitting around the lawn, looking for something or likely someone. JJ ignores the tiny voice in his head that wants you to be looking for him. 

He doesn't know what's wrong with him, but he can't get the image of you from last night out of his head. You in that white dress the moment he decided he liked your hair down best — loose and carefree. You when he was knelt in front of you, all the cards in your hand, still choosing him. You with the barely restrained tears that had felt like they were blurring his vision instead of yours.  And you, with that wide smile and those flushed cheeks from the summer night's heat. The way you danced, your body molding perfectly into his as he spun you closer. He had realized that somewhere between all the fun, he hadn't wanted to let go. There is possibly nothing more dangerous than feeling like he needed to touch you at this moment in time. 

JJ wills away the haunting memories of last night as he finally reaches you. You'd caught sight of him when he was a few feet away and are speaking as soon as he is in earshot. 

"You parked," You say, and JJ just smirks at you stating the obvious. He hasn't spoken to you one-on-one since you returned to your room last night. 

"That I did. You ready to head in?" You nod at JJ's question but make no effort to enter the courthouse. You bite your lip, worrying the soft skin with your teeth. JJ tries not to dwell on how badly he wants to free it for you. "What?"

"Something feels wrong, JJ."

"Yeah, no shit," JJ grumbles, though he finds comfort in being able to focus on his anger rather than whatever else he's feeling at the moment. "These fucking Kooks, man. Always in our way."

Kooks always win. Kooks always win.

You shake your head again before looking around. "I can't shake this feeling like we're forgetting something huge." 

"I think JB brought the Proof of Ownership certificate with us, but I'm sure the court has those files on hand, too," JJ says, trying to ease your worries. 

"No it's not…" You shrug, giving up on explaining this to JJ. "Never mind, I'm probably just anxious." 

"You sure?" JJ takes your nod for what it is– not at all assuring but a green light to proceed anyway. You both walk into the courthouse side by side, the perfect image of a united front. Pope and John B have saved you both a seat at the edge of their bench, and JJ steps back to let you slide in first. He settles beside you, his legs kicking out as he slouches against the backrest, but his attention doesn't stray from you. His gaze remains on your fingers as you wrap them around the edge of your green top, your nerves clearly needing a way to physically manifest themselves. JJ balls his hands in fists to stop himself from reaching out to hold your hand. That probably would do the opposite of consoling you. 

He fights the urge all throughout the start of the hearing. His mind's still running through his spiral, and as he fails to pay attention, the hearing plays on a loop. 

Kiara's mad. Property hearing. Groff's my dad. Kooks always win.

JJ watches as your group elects John B as their spokesperson. He listens to his speech and knows he should be choking up on emotion, but instead, all he can do is focus on his own thoughts. Eventually, the other side is speaking, and he hears something that draws his attention.

"So, what the, uh, current occupants of the land don't seem to understand is that there is an injunction to invalidate the most recent sale," JJ straightens in his seat, no longer able to play the part of uncaring. What does he mean by invalidate? "There was a pre-existing promissory note from the original owner that was in the process of being finalized when the land auction took place." JJ bristles. From the corner of his eye, he can sense the Pogue's confusion, but as he searches his mind for an answer, the pieces are coming together too quickly. The hotshot lawyer keeps speaking, but all JJ can concentrate on is 'previous owner.' Before the Pogues, it had been JJ's house. Which means the previous owner is…

"Where is the original owner? And can he validate the authenticity of this document?" the judge asks, to which Dale, the lawyer, responds affirmatively. 

"He's right here," JJ turns slowly, the appalled gasps of the crowd barely registering past the blood thumping in his ear. There he is, Luke Maybank, his father. No – not his father. The man JJ had been thrown onto, never wanted and never loved, no matter what tiny moments JJ had believed they'd shared. 

Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad.

Somewhere around him, JJ can hear words like 'son,' 'JJ's dad,' and 'fugitive.' The only clear sound comes from beside him: 'We were missing something.' None of that feedback matters, though. JJ can't focus on one thing long enough to process it. The world around him has reached a screeching halt, but his thoughts are neverending bursts of chaos. Of course Luke didn't show up to stand behind him, to support JJ in not losing the land that their fragile relationship had been tethered to. 

"JJ, why would your dad–" Kiara's voice rings through to JJ from her spot next to Pope. JJ doesn't look up as he opens his mouth to respond, but your voice cuts in to answer for him.

"He's not his fucking dad," If JJ was in a more conscious state, he might have enough energy to flinch at your words and the lethal tone you spoke them in. Instead, his head falls, and he can feel it happening. The moment right before his chest completely constricts, and his legs carry him away, running from everything happening here. JJ stands up abruptly, facing the man who ruined him. Luke's eyes find JJ's immediately, and there is probably something he can read in them if he wants to, but JJ has no interest in that. 

From a distance, he hears a familiar voice. She's shouting something about love and not being deserving of it. But it's not the right kind of feedback. He can't use it to reel himself in. 

Property hearing. Kooks always win. Property hearing. Kooks always win. Property hearing. Kooks always win.

JJ's feet carry him towards Luke, but he doesn't stop, ignoring him. He walks right past him, and with a frenzied turn of his head, he searches for anything he can grab ahold of. His fingers twist around the smooth surface of a chair and he lifts it over his head. He intends to crash the chair into a window and get some goddamn air in this room, but he never gets the chance. 

"JJ, no." It's you. You followed him? He looks up, his mind still not completely catching up with the moment, to see the rest of the Pogues crowding the front of the room. Then you. JJ scoffs at the fact that you feel the need to follow him. Always fucking babysitting him. 

JJ's arms are being restrained by the security officer who stands by the courthouse door. As he resists the man's grip, another security guard joins in. JJ can hear you telling him to stop, to not 'spin out.'

"Take him out!" You yell at an officer, and as they drag him out the doors, JJ thinks he never wants to see you again. Your self-righteousness is so apparent in your features. You always know the right thing to do, and in your mind, JJ couldn't tell his right foot from his left. 

"Let— let go of me!" JJ yells, his voice shaking with his body. "Stop!"

Eventually, the guards let go, and there you are again, your hands out in front of you in a cautious stance as if he's some animal that just escaped its cage. JJ can't see anything past red, and without Luke in front of him, you are slowly becoming his target. JJ needs to get past you and away before he does something he'd actually regret. 

JJ charges past, or at least he feels like he is charging. In reality, his movements are slow, from the delirious state he's reaching, giving you the chance to step in front of him. You reach your arms out, pushing them against his chest, and the force is strong enough to shove him to the ground and not even there at the same time. 

“Y/N.” JJ seethes. "Move."

"I won't let you do something you'll regret." JJ steps back, his hands coming up to pull at his hair. You are so frustrating. No. You are downright infuriating and he is so tired of it. You'd gotten in the way and gave him the chance to think about what he's doing. Thinking means feeling and feeling means he won't be able to stop from breaking down. 

"JJ," your voice comes out soft, as if you are trying to coddle him, and it sounds so wrong coming from you. So fake. You don't care. You can't care. Because you see him for exactly what he is. You see him like mold that ruins everything it touches, making it irreparable. Yet, he finds himself wanting to let go of his inhibitions and lean into that softness. He wants to trust it and wrap himself up in it. Your voice seems to be the right kind of feedback. He's able to focus on it and grab onto it. But he's not ready to.

Property hearing. Kooks always win.

Tears are gathering in his eyes, and he looks around quickly to see if anyone is nearby. A few stragglers have left the courthouse, and he immediately runs to the back of the building. He knows you're hot on his trail, but right now, he needs to hide from prying eyes. Everyone will be looking to see how Luke Maybank's son reacts. 

You don't say anything right away, and JJ relishes the moment of quiet. But all good things must come to an end, or so they say. 

"JJ, you don't des—"

"Screw that!" JJ's voice is loud and full of disdain. "Screw what I deserve. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to call that place his. He's… he's not fit," JJ emphasizes his point by hitting the pads of his fingers against his temple. "Don't they see that?"

The look on your face doesn't feel like pity but JJ still doesn't want to see it. You can't care. Do you care?

"No, he doesn't. I know he doesn't," you agree, and JJ shakes his head. "But he doesn't deserve you throwing your life away for him." 

"You don't get it. He's not fit," JJ's arms are being thrown in every direction as he made his point. "He's not fucking fit, and I have the receipts to prove it."

"What do you mean, JJ?" You ask with a note of hope that makes JJ's heart throb. "Is he not the actual owner? Did someone else own the property before?"

JJ sighs, a sound between a groan and a 'no' leaving his throat. "No— I… never mind." 

He watches your face fall; that light in your eyes, the one he found too rarely, disappears again. With the final bit of fight seeping from his body he slumps against the wall of the courthouse, his head falling between his crossed arms. He doesn't expect you to meet him where he is, and you don't move for a moment, but then he feels your hand against his arm. You're massaging circles into his bicep and even with the added layers of his gray shirt and blue flannel, he feels like his skin is on fire. He's still angry, it seems, because everything feels like it's on fire with you here. 

He lets you touch him still, unable to escape the heat. He doesn't lift his head or say a word, but he also doesn't move away. After a moment, he feels you rest your forehead against his shoulder. You both must look uncomfortable, the way he's curled into himself, and you are probably extending your neck far enough to reach his shoulder, but neither of you changes the position you're in. 

His mind is silent. No loop, no spiral. JJ is unsure how long the two of you sit there like that, but nothing seems to be pulling you away from him until he hears a voice from around the corner. 

"Let's check here," it's Pope's voice. When JJ lifts his head, he sees you haven't moved yours just yet. He has this lingering thought that he doesn't want Pope to find you just yet. Pope does, of course. 

JJ makes eye contact with Pope and then with Kie. The speed with which that burning sensation leaves his body is as though a bucket of ice water has been dropped over him. Kie's face gives away nothing, but her eyes tell a different story. She's upset, but right now, he can't really find it in himself to care. 

Kiara's mad. Kiara's mad. Kiara's mad.

"Guys," Pope speaks, only pausing for a second to take in the sight of you resting on JJ. You finally lift your head at his voice, pushing your body back so you aren't as close to JJ. "They're calling us in. Emptied everyone except us and Topper's team." 

"You guys go ahead," It's you who speaks up for the both of you. "We'll be right behind you." 

"Y/N, why don't you head in with Pope? I'll come with JJ," Kie's voice is void of malice, which JJ is relieved about. This whole thing is weird enough; he doesn't need Kie holding onto misplaced emotions because of your arrangement. 

"Right," You nod, standing up. You look at JJ once giving him a nod as well. No consoling smile or encouraging words to part. Just a nod like you had this one under control. Great job, comrade. 

And yet, he doesn't want you to go. He wants to stay like this for just a little while longer. He also knows he should want that with Kie. God, when had this all become so complicated? 

He turns to the curly-haired girl, who is already offering him that sympathetic smile you failed to give him, and he realizes he kind of hates it. He always hates that smile, but he loves what's associated with it. Free range to fuck up as profoundly as he wants. For once, he doesn't want that pass. He wants to believe he can be better and not need it. Laughable, truly. 

"Jayj, I'm so sorry." What else is she supposed to say, really? 'I'm sorry your dad's a piece of shit' basically sums it up. It still feels so pointless. "You deserve better family."

Alright, well now that one is definitely pointless. 

"Yeah, well, "JJ shrugs, pushing his arm out to one side. He's gotten up now and is already walking towards the front of the courthouse. "We all do." 

He knows she wants to say more, but he doesn't want to hear it right now. Kiara accepts that. He feels like there was a time she wouldn't have. She used to put him in his place, but somewhere along the way, she'd stopped. If he had to pinpoint a time, he thinks it was sometime after he'd spent his restitution money on that hot tub. She'd been so angry at first, but after seeing him all bruised up, she hadn't said anything again. She'd even argued with Pope and John B to let them keep the hot tub instead of returning it. In a way, Kie has accepted that this was JJ. He'd always be the guy who drew shit cards and kept gambling like he had a Royal Flush each round. 

"Mr. Maybank, is it?" the judge asks as JJ walks up to the front. John B pats him on the shoulder, leaving his hand there for a while. JJ only nods in response to the judge. "I trust you've calmed down enough to be part of this conversation."

JJ nods once. The judge, still displeased, continues anyway. JJ knows Luke's still in the room; he saw him as soon as he came in. He's standing between Topper Thornton and his lawyer. He must feel like he's on top of the world, sandwiched between those Kooks, and untouchable. He always sort of was for JJ. 

"As discussed during the trial, land ownership has been transferred from the original owner. Seeing as the property was auctioned off before these details were settled, the property is rightfully theirs." 

"Judge, with all due respect, that's unfair," JJ can hear the voices of every adult who ever told him life's not fair as John B speaks. "When we purchased the land, we weren't told of any such issues. To punish us for the fault of another party is wrong." 

The judge nods, not pleased with the situation either. "I agree, Mr. Routledge. However, these are not mere technicalities, and we must not treat them as such. I am sympathetic to you all, and for that, I've decided to grant you a one-week eviction notice." 

JJ scoffs and is pleased to find out he's not the only one. He looks up at you, and when you notice, you roll your eyes as if you are the only ones who can see how idiotic this judge is. 

"What about our money?" You say, your voice full of authority. You're not usually the one who speaks up in public, leaving that kind of work to Cleo, so JJ is surprised to hear you so sure of yourself. "We paid a lot of money for that property; if the auction is void, we should get that back." 

JJ hadn't thought of that. He'd been so caught up in losing this dream he hadn't thought about the fact that the money could be returned to you. That it should be. 

"I also agree with you, Ms. …" You don't fill in the space the judge leaves, instead sticking your nose up at the thought of sharing information about yourself. JJ does nothing to hide the smirk that comes out of him, subconsciously finding himself jutting his chin out to mimic you. The judge continues, but he does not looks happy about your display of rebellion. 

"The sum you paid for the property should be returned to all of you. However, because this auction was done through a third party and not by this court, the money's return could take between three to six months."

The judge lifts his hands at the outburst of the Pogues, cutting them off. "This is completely out of your control, but it is out of my control as well. I've decided that until the money from the auction has been returned, no work can be done on the old Maybank property." 

This time, the Kooks in the room react poorly to the news. JJ should be glad it's not all smooth sailing for the Kooks, but they'll still get there eventually. What's there to celebrate in that? The judge continues, going between appeasing you all and the Kooks and then going over the ground rules. 

The Pogues must leave by the following Wednesday at 12 pm. 

The Kooks may not remove any structures or begin work until the money has been returned to the Pogues. 

There will be another hearing between the two parties and the judge when the money has been returned and construction may only proceed then. 

There's more. So many rules, all of them pointless. 

JJ walks out behind all the Pogues except you. You're walking next to JJ again, with a little more space. No one speaks. 

"JJ," JJ stills at the voice of his father. He can hear it already, that tilt of apology present. JJ never could figure out if it was real. If his dad would have these moments of clarity, he could see just how cruel he was or if it was just a way to get JJ to keep coming back. 

JJ sighs, as if he'd rather be anywhere else than having this conversation, but he wants to hear the reason for the betrayal. 

"What?" JJ asks, his voice full of nonchalance that doesn't belong in this conversation. Topper and his family have already headed towards the parking lot, leaving only Luke, JJ, and the other Pogues. 

"JJ, I'm sorry," Luke starts, inching closer but stopping when JJ steps forward. When Luke's sober, he's a bit of a coward. You gotta believe me; I had no choice." 

"Could've been a man and gone to prison," JJ shrugs. "Simple as that." Luke's face is small, so different from how he looks in his fits of rage. 

"Son, please—" JJ flinches at the term. Son. He hates how much he loves it. 

Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad. Groff's my dad.

Suddenly, he doesn't want to have this conversation anymore.

"You don't deserve him," It's Kie who speaks up from somewhere behind him. "You don't deserve his love." 

JJ wants to vomit. Do they know he loves Luke? Do they not believe him when he pretends not to care? He doesn't want them to see through his act. 

"I'm talking to my son," Luke is shooting daggers at Kie, but she keeps going. 

"Don't call him that. He loves you, and you betray—"

"Kie, stop." JJ mumbles, but she doesn't. 

"You betrayed him. He's so much better than what you gave him." 

JJ's mumbling for Kiara to stop, but it's like she doesn't hear him. Or maybe he's not actually speaking out loud. He feels you then, brushing past him and walking past Kiara, who's come closer to where JJ is standing. You stride up to Luke and JJ wants to pick you up and tuck you away. He knows Luke's basically harmless when he's sober, but he still wants you nowhere near him. 

He watches as your hands grab the front of Luke's worn-out shirt, pulling him down to your level. Your voice is low as you speak, but the words still ring loudly. 

"You're a piece of shit who got in my way," Your teeth are grinding against each other. "Watch your back." You let go with a hard shove that pushes Luke farther back than someone who didn't know you would expect you to be able to accomplish. "And leave JJ and us alone, asshole."

You don't even wait to watch what Luke does, turning around and grabbing JJ's wrist to lead him to the Twinkie. You're mumbling something under your breath the whole way to the Twinkie that JJ can't understand. When you finally reach the Twinkie, you remove your hand from JJ's arm and cross them across your chest. 

"He's such a piece of shit," you whine, and JJ almost wants to laugh. One because you're telling him? And two, because you look practically childlike in your anger, and after such a devastating loss, it's almost a relief. There are no pitying comments in an attempt to soften the blow Luke landed. With JJ, certain steps need to be performed at specific temperatures. Right now, when he's cooled down, but his hand is still on the knob to start the stove, he needs to pretend that nothing is happening. And if he can't do that, he needs to pretend that what's happening isn't a problem unique to him. Somehow, you know exactly how to handle him right now. 

You're making the problem one he can share with you. He doesn't have to shoulder it alone and he doesn't have to feel like he's the only one drowning. He can use you to come up to the surface. 

"That he is," JJ whistles, then smirks as a thought strikes him. "How'd you like meeting your father-in-law?" 

You stare at him momentarily, your eyes comically wide, before you smile at him. Your smile against the backdrop of these circumstances feels like agony and he thinks he may be a masochist. 

"Think I may start calling him daddy." 

"Aye, that title's reserved for me—"

"Okay, okay," you shut him up, your arms coming up to shove at his chest lightly. You're laughing though. Your real laugh, the choking one. JJ's hands come up to catch yours, tugging you closer, and he relishes how your eyes become hooded, the only indication that his being near you does anything. Fuck, why does it do something? 

"You've got the keys," your voice is even, and you don't move away from his grip, almost making him second-guess whether he really does have any effect on you at all. "Unlock the car."

JJ reaches into his pants pocket and then the next, following with the one stitched into his flannel. He's making a show of not being able to find the keys because he knows how you'll react, and he wants that sense of normalcy. 

"JJ, I swear to God if you lost the keys," JJ quickly brandishes the keys from his flannel pocket, giving you a sideways look. You just roll your eyes and get into the back seat. You don't sit next to him when he gets in the driver's seat, and when Kie takes the passenger seat instead, he guesses that makes sense. 

The week following the town hall meeting had been painful, to say the least. It felt like everyone was tiptoeing around one another, afraid to directly address the issue and too stubborn to let go. The Pogues had tried to come up with solutions the evening they returned and the following day. Every option thrown in the middle of their circle seemed like it would be their life raft, but soon enough, they’d find a dozen holes in it. The Pogues were used to working in the gray, but this issue had them working in black and white. The problem was too entangled in legal technicalities to find a backdoor solution. 

You and the other girls are gathered in Sarah and John B’s cramped room because Sarah had said she felt too sick to get out of bed.

“What are you feeling?” You ask Sarah, whose head is resting against your thigh. She has a lethargic look painted across her features that’s making you tired. 

“Mm, don’t know,” Sarah mumbles. “Just feel tired.” 

“You must’ve caught a bug,” Kie says from where she’s sprawled out on the floor. “Just gotta rest.” 

Your hands run through Sarah’s hair to comfort her, but your mind keeps wondering what’ll happen tomorrow. No one is addressing the issue, and even though there’s been ample time to pack, no one has begun to do so either. 

“Where are we gonna go?” Your voice is hushed, afraid to be the one to bring it up. The atmosphere doesn’t shift so much as it intensifies. The threat of leaving this home is constantly looming over you all, but you’re bringing it down and covering the group with it by putting it into words. 

Cleo sighs from her corner of the bed, “We’re gonna go with Pope to his parents’.”

That much you had assumed. It was like when you arrived from Poguelandia and crashed in their living room. Your question had been more abstract. 

“Um, no,” Sarah says, and you can hear the nausea in her voice. It sounds like her words are escaping past a literal lump in her throat. “Y/N has to stay with JJ. You’ll come with John B and me.”

“Sarah, come on. It’s not that serious,” You argue. Your eyes find Kie’s, who has sat up a little and is already looking at you. You hadn’t had the conversation with her yet, and now it feels a bit pointless. You had already married JJ, so what was the point in running it by her? At least that’s what you’re telling yourself. In reality, you have built the conversation up so much that it felt like too high a wall to climb now. 

Sarah lifts her head from your lap, “It is exactly that serious. What kind of married couple splits up a week after their wedding?” You bite back your bitter reply of a ‘fake one,’ not wanting another lecture from Sarah. 

“Well, where exactly are we going? Because the Chateau doesn’t exist anymore.” Sarah’s entire expression changes. She’s biting her lip in a way that makes it seem like she’s sorry more than anxious. 

“So I went to see Rafe after he stopped by at the shop,” Sarah starts, her eyes flitting to the side. “He, uh, was talking about trying to… reconcile our family.”

You’re sure you’re staring at Sarah as if she has two heads. In what world is Rafe Cameron going to save their family?

“And you told him to shove whatever plan he was brewing up his ass, right?” Cleo asks. You hum in agreeance. 

“I know it sounds crazy. Trust me, if anyone knows how untrustworthy he is, it’s me. But… it makes the most sense right now.” Sarah’s picking at her cotton pajama shorts, avoiding you and Cleo’s eyes. Kiara rises from the floor and sits next to Cleo. 

“You’re planning on staying in his house… with him?” Kie’s voice is dripping with well-founded disbelief and defensible judgment. 

“I’m not doing that,” You add. 

“No, of course not,” Sarah finally looks up. “He has a one-bedroom apartment he bought to lease and said John B and I can take it.”

“And you trust that?”

“No, but I trust that he said we can call a guy to change the locks. And that he’ll finance it.” You tilt your head in semi-approval. At least she’s thought it through somewhat. Picking up on the fact that you aren’t entirely convinced, she adds, “It’s our best bet, Y/N. Where else are me, you, and Kie gonna go.”

She’s right, but knowing she’s right doesn’t make it easier to accept this is where fate has taken you. You’d never met someone as evil and, frankly, unhinged as Rafe Cameron. He’d tried to drown his sister, for crying out loud. Now, you were going to trust him to shelter you?

“So, let me get this straight,” Cleo leans forward. “We’re trusting Rafe Cameron to give you a safe space? That’s like giving a kleptomaniac the keys to your shop and asking him to watch it.” 

“What– what other choice do we have?” Sarah’s voice wavers, but she looks resolute about her choice. “I can’t just let us fall apart. Not again. I need to make this work, and if that means trusting Rafe, then so be it.”

You can’t argue with her when you hear how much this means to her. If five of you are together, that’s still better than zero. 

“Um,” You turn to look at Kie. “I’m gonna go stay with my parents.” You lock eyes with Cleo, both of you silently acknowledging how out of character this is for Kiara. Kiara’s relationship with her parents is rocky. Not in the way it was for JJ or Sarah, but her childhood home is not a place of comfort for her. She’s doing this because of you and JJ. Which makes no sense because you and he are nothing. 

“Kie, you’re coming with us,” You insist. 

“No,” Kie shakes her head. “I’m not. A one-bedroom can’t fit five people, and apparently, you’ve gotta stay with JJ. Guess the rest of us have to figure it out alone.” The bitter tone in her voice is not missed, and you’re scrambling to find something to take it away. Kiara may not be the closest to you, but she is your family. You love her like you love Sarah and Cleo. You don’t want to lose her because of a guy you don’t even like romantically.

You love them all, and they’re all slipping out of your grasp. Kiara’s bitterness, Sarah’s desperate optimism, and Cleo’s lack of contesting all leave you feeling like the ground is being taken out from under you. Then there’s JJ– residing in your mind in the form of a shadow and complicating everything. 

One moment, he’s behaving so much like the reckless boy who drives you crazy, his words biting and his actions thoughtless. He makes you want to scream, but when you least expect it, he’s pulling you in close and shielding you from the chaos — even when he’s the cause. His touch is always steady, anchoring you to this convoluted reality. That part of him — the one that seems like his rawest, most unguarded self — gives you whiplash. He’s a mess you feel you’re constantly cleaning and a safety net continually catching you. 

“Kie–” You try to get her attention. 

“Hey, Sar, I’m gonna go make you some soup. Just… call the boys back. Let’s have our last dinner.” 

You're not sure how the night had rushed by you so quickly. The dinner had been a haze of forced conversation, and the night had been full of drunken suppression. No one reminisced about their time at Poguelandia 2.0 and discussed how much they'd miss it. That might be something you'd all regret in the future, but it seemed like your last line of defense last night, to live in denial. 

You're all outside the house now, the early morning sun mocking you. The sun isn't gentle. It beats down on you but does nothing to warm you from the chill washing down your spine. The sharp light cuts you out of your thoughts of the wasted night, a cruel reminder that it's all over. Pope and Kie's parents drove up to help transfer their belongings, but they were waiting further away to give you all privacy. The yard, which you had loved for its spaciousness, feels too small. You could see Mr. Heyward leaning against his truck, trying to maintain a respectful distance from the group. Kie's dad had packed his car with her belongings and immediately sat back in the driver's seat, never wanting to interact with the rest of you. You know Pope's dad is carrying your grief with you all, but you wonder if Kiara's dad feels more smug– like he finally gets his chance to shout, 'I told you so!' You want to beg Kiara not to give up, not to go back to their house, but you don't because you think you're the last person she'll listen to. 

You're unsure how many hugs Sarah gives you, but she won't stop even though you are both going to the same place. Cleo isn't holding it together nearly as well as you thought she would. The strongest girl you know is failing at hiding the tremor in her voice, and it's throwing you off balance.

"You sure you and JJ can't just crash with us?" She asks, resting her hand on your arm. 

You shake your head. "We'd just make it harder for you guys." You can see on Cleo's face that that isn't the right thing to say, so you add, "Plus, Pope would get back pains after we force him to sleep on the floor."

Cleo gives you a shakey smile before pulling you in toward her. She hugs you tighter than ever before, and you return it tenfold. She'd been your rock since you were fourteen. You'd never spent a night more than a few rooms away from her, and now you'd be on different sides of this island, which you felt you were still learning some days. You didn't know how to survive without her guiding your way. 

"I'll call you," She whispers.

"Every day," You promise. 

When you pull away, you see JJ standing in the corner with Kie. He looks like he's trying to convince her of something, his hands waving as he speaks. Kie has that determined look on her face that you always admired. She doesn't look like she'll budge about whatever they're discussing. You don't want to stare at this private moment between them but can't tear your eyes away. Is he pleading with her? Apologizing? Only saying goodbye? 

You don't have to watch Kiara and JJ for much longer because suddenly she's stepping away from him with her hand out to halt his motions. That's the last you see of Kiara before she walks away from the slowly dispersing group. Pope and Cleo are the next to go, leaving a hole in your heart that you're not sure you'll ever fill. 

The ride to Rafe's apartment is quiet, even quieter than the ride you four had taken to the courthouse the day of your wedding. When you finally reach the building, no one announces the arrival and no one talks until you enter the apartment. It's a grand apartment, fully furnished and nicely decorated. You'd expect nothing less from a Kook property, and it makes you want to tear apart every – probably custom-made – painting on the wall. Why do they have to have everything? 

"Fucking Kooks," JJ mumbles, taking in the room. "Fucking Kooks."

"Couldn't Rafe have just bought the land? " John B. adds, and it feels like a stab to the chest. 

You can hear Pope commenting with some smart-ass comment or shockingly sassy remark, but he isn't here, and no one fills the silence. 

You don't bother unpacking your suitcase; you're so used to living out of limited storage space. Instead, you help Sarah hang her clothes while the boys go to the grocery store to get a couple of essentials. Sarah is in the restroom, and you've just finished hanging the last of John B's printed button-downs. For a Pogue, he sure did have a lot of shit.

"Oh my God!" You hear a screech from the connected restroom, startling you. You drop the shirt you just picked up from Sarah's box of clothes. 

With your heart in your throat, you approach the restroom door, "Sarah?"

"Oh my God, oh my God," Sarah continues to repeat the three words, her alarm rising each time. 

"Sarah, open up," When she doesn't reply but her panic persists, you try the knob and find the restroom is unlocked. "I'm coming in," you warn and rush in without waiting for a response. 

Sarah is bent over the sink, her left hand covering her mouth. Her right arm is hidden from your view, and she's shaking. 

"What happened?" You ask, leaning forward to find some semblance of an answer. 

Sarah doesn't say anything, but she pushes her right arm out towards you. Her lips are pursed in a thin line, her cheeks void of color. You take a moment to process what she is showing you. In her hand is a blue and white stick, and you take it from her hand to inspect it closer.

"Holy shit."

It's a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test. Sarah's positive pregnancy test.

"Is this…" 

"It's real," Sarah whispers. You look up at her, and she returns your stare as if she is expecting you to explain this to her. 

"What are you going to do?" It isn't the right thing to say in this situation, but it's the first thing you can think of. 

"I don't know," Sarah's voice breaks, and her emotions flood out. "I mean, I'm nineteen. I'm living in my murderous brother's rental property because we don't even have jobs. Babies are expensive! I need a job. What will JB thi–"

"Hey, hey," you say, placing the pregnancy test on the counter and stepping toward her to cut off her rambling. Breathe, Sar. Just breathe." Her chest is heaving, and you exaggerate your breathing to model what you need from her. When she begins to calm down and matches her breath to yours, you ask, "Is this something you want?"

Sarah lets out something between an inhale and a whimper. At first, she shakes her head, but something changes when she turns to the sink, and her eyes catch on the test. Her shoulders fall, but instead of devastation, you see relief. 

"I want this so bad," She whispers. You agree with everything she said: having a baby in her situation doesn't fit, but you can't help but smile at her. "I didn't think I would, but if I am…" Her hand rests on her stomach, a streak of protectiveness you are both used to seeing from her and is entirely foreign to you. "I'd want to keep it."

Your chest swells with warmth. "Then that's what you'll do," you tell her firmly. "And we'll all be here for you. Every step of the way." You offer her a confident smile, and she returns it with a hesitant curve of her lip. 

"I'm going to have a baby," Sarah whispers again, but her smile seems impossible to contain as she says it. 

You laugh, pulling her in for a hug, "You're going to have a baby." 

Sarah tightly winds her arms around you, "I can't do this alone." 

After so many years, you want to cry for the hundredth time in the past two weeks. This beautiful girl who loves so freely is afraid no one will love her enough to endure this trial with her. Her tumultuous relationship with her family aside, your new family has been torn apart, and she's finding out there's going to be a new and very dependent member. 

"And you never will be," You promise. "This baby's got a village." 

"Baby," she squeals. Your laughter bubbles up and washes over the room, blocking out the weight of the world for this moment—this moment between two friends and their shared joy, hope, fear, love, and life.  

You'd decided you'd wait for Sarah to tell John B about the baby before you left the apartment. You had to. John B and Sarah would need privacy and space to grow their family. A one-bedroom was already too small for that task, and adding two grown adult roommates would worsen the situation. You'd already shared the bedroom with Sarah the night before when John B had insisted he'd take the couch. You couldn't keep that up. 

You didn't know where you'd go, but maybe you could take Cleo's offer to stay with her and Pope. JJ would have to bite the bullet and stay with Kie at her parents. You'd figure it out. But you didn't want to be more of a burden than you already were on your best friends. 

John B and Sarah had left the following evening to go on a walk, where Sarah would tell him the good news. You'd figured you'd use that chance to explain to JJ what was happening. 

"Hey," you announce your presence, though it seems a bit unnecessary since you are both on opposite ends of the same couch. 

JJ directs his attention away from his phone and to you, "Yeah?"

"So, I needed to tell you something," JJ must notice how serious you are because he shuts off his phone and tilts his body to face you. "It's about our living arrangement."

"You wanna stay with Cleo?" He asks. "That must be hard." 

You weren't sure if anyone else had noticed how much separation from Cleo affected you, but apparently, JJ had enough insight to assume it would. 

"No, uh, it's not that," JJ waits for you to continue. "But what I'm about to say is a secret. Like, a huge one. So no one can know."

This makes JJ's brows knit together in confusion. "Okay? What is it?" 

"Sarah's pregnant." JJ's jaw drops with humorous speed before he begins to open and shut it. He's sputtering, unable to form a thought. 

"Relax," You say, giving him a peculiar look. "You're not the father." 

"She's pregnant? John B's gonna be a dad?"

You nod, letting him process this however he needs the time to. JJ sinks back into the couch as if he is being physically hit with the news. 

"Wow," his hands run through his hair. "Parents. They're gonna be parents," JJ shakes his head, and you wish you could be in his mind at this moment. Is he being judgmental? Is he worried?

"Wait, are they?" He asks suddenly, sitting up straighter. "Does she want us to— does she need our help. Is that why you're telling me?" It takes you a moment to understand what he means. 

"No, she doesn't need us for anything like that," you assure him, a bit caught off guard by his awareness of situations like these. JJ isn't the most emotionally intelligent guy, at least you don't think so, and his awareness of other potential options is a bit of a surprise. "They're going to be parents."

"Wow, that's… amazing," He mumbles. "For them. Could not be me, but good for them." You laugh, the JJ you know poking through from behind all the maturity. 

"Yeah, agreed," JJ chuckles at your grave tone. "But that's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Right," He nods, suddenly remembering the start of this conversation. 

"We need to leave. The apartment, I mean. They'll need their space, and we can't overstay our welcome." 

"Where would we even go?" JJ rubs his hand against his clean-shaven jaw. 

"I could stay with Cleo, and you'd probably hate this, but Kie's parents—"

"What? No way," JJ leans forward again, his expression tightening. "We're not splitting up."

"We aren't?" You ask dumbly. You had expected JJ to push back on leaving the apartment. It may have had just one bedroom, but it was better than any home he'd had before. Plus, it was much better than encroaching on the Carrera's property for him. You hadn't expected him to be concerned about you two going your own ways. 

"We have to stick together." There's a certainty in his stare and an edge to his voice that has you second-guessing yourself. It pins you in place and leaves you defenseless. "Or none of this will look real." 

Oh. Right. What else would he have been concerned about?  

"I doubt Kie or Pope's parents would blow our cover," you say, keeping your voice light, hoping to conceal any disorientation. JJ gives you a pointed look, and you sheepishly correct yourself: "Maybe Mike, but we can find a way past that."

JJ sighs, not laughing at your light attempt at humor, "We're not splitting up."

"We don't have anywhere to go, though," You sigh. "Remember, you said it yourself, no one else will cover for us."

JJ's shoulders fall, and he gives you a look that makes you want to take back everything you've ever said. He looks so… fragile. You may have missed it if you weren't looking at him as closely as you are, but it's undeniably there. 

"We cover each other," he shrugs, and with those four words, he speaks so nonchalantly that he eases the weight you've felt growing on your shoulders. He sighs again, leaning back against the couch. "I know somewhere we can crash." 

You wouldn't have imagined going along with that uncomfortably vague statement a week ago, but now you had no other option. All you can do is follow JJ blindly, even though your trust in him is hanging by a fragile thread. For once in your life, you don't bother asking questions. You're too exhausted to try to piece together your next steps as diligently as usual. You'll figure it out later. 

When Sarah and John B returned, you'd tried your best to arrange a celebratory dinner for them. You'd used the ridiculously expensive glassware Rafe had stocked the apartment with – because, of course, Kooks that could afford real estate on this side of the Island couldn't buy their own plates and cups – and put a very fancy peanut butter and jelly sandwich on each plate. It was all you could do, but you made Sarah's a double-decker for what it's worth. It hadn't made you feel great that you could hear her hurling the contents of her dinner from your spot in the living room (JJ had gotten a good laugh out of that). 

It had taken a lot of convincing and even more tears for Sarah and John B to agree to let you go. They had reasonably questioned where you planned to stay, and JJ mentioned something about a Jim Buckley. The name meant nothing to you, but John B seemed to understand. John B had looked apprehensive but hadn't shut the idea down completely, which made you feel better. He'd even driven the Twinkie to drop you two off while Sarah turned in earlier than usual. You'd held her tight and whispered your promise to her again. You and JJ separating from them was only physical. Nothing could keep you away from that baby now that you knew they existed. 

When John B pulls up to what looks like a dock, you step out of the car to give him and JJ privacy. They'reTheir connection is like yours and Cleo's. You've seen how they communicate without words and how sometimes the only person who can reel JJ in is John B. Saying goodbye will be painful, even with the sweet reminder of who you're all doing this for now. 

You take the time to figure out where you are. The dock extends over a large lake, not the ocean. There'sThere are only a few man-made lakes in the OBX since most Kooks are in the market for real estate by the ocean. You notice a secluded mansion that seems like it touches the sky. In typical Kook fashion, it's humongous, but unlike most other mansions, the nearest house to it is a few miles down. 

When JJ exits the Twinkie, his eyes are misty, but you don't comment on it. Instead, you'd sidle up to his side, your entire demeanor asking him what's next. You hate this– not knowing and not being in control. You never relinquish your control unless it's to Cleo, and it took a few years before you could get to that place with her. The itch for control is catching up to you.

"Why are we at a dock? Whose house is that?"

"That would be Jim Buckley's house. Used to maintain his boat for him when I was younger." You nod, waiting for him to expand on that, but he doesn't. 

"And he's going to kindly let us stay with him?" You ask, a false sense of hope laced in your tone. You know that's not happening. 

JJ snorts, "Yeah, right. No, we're gonna crash on this fine boat of his." JJ waves his hand in front of him, towards the water. You look at the dock, and there, tied firmly to a post, is a cabin cruiser. More specifically, a Yellowfin 54. You'd dreamed of having one since you were fifteen, and after moving to the Island, you would enviously look at each one you passed. 

"We're gonna stay here?" You ask with a slight pep in your voice. You try your best to mask that little bit of excitement and focus on the issue at hand. "We can't. We'll get caught."

"Don't gotta worry about that," JJ shrugs, heading towards the boat. You follow him as he explains further. "Jim's usually flying internationally for business and the missus is usually miles away at Kelce's dad's place when that happens."

"She's cheating on him?" You gasp.

JJ waves his hand behind him, "It's fine. Jim's probably doing the same in, like, China." 

"Um, okay. I'm going to ignore how you know this, but what about maintenance. If they're never here, it must be in horrible shape."

"I used to do maintenance for them, and I know for a fact they have someone take care of it every Tuesday at ten a.m., without fail," JJ offers, and you can't lie that your nerves are calming a bit. "He uses it when he's in town, and Janet puts him in the dog house."

"And Janet is Mrs. Buckley?" You ask.

"Yes, ma'am, she is," JJ stops right in front of the boat, turning to smirk at you. "I was wondering when you'd start your interrogation."

"Shut up," you roll your eyes and sidestep him to get up onto the boat. You don't take the hand JJ's offering you; instead, you stick your hand out so he can use you as support. JJ gives you a sarcastic smile but still takes your hand. He doesn't let go as he guides you to the front of the boat. Lifting the cushion of one of the seats, he pulls out a small key.

"Jackass still keeps it here," JJ mumbled, throwing the key up before catching it in his fist. He has that dangerous look on his face, the one he gets when he's winning a risky gamble. JJ leads you to a short, narrow door on the side of the boat. Before he places the key in the lock, he pulls you in, searching your eyes. He seems like he's waiting on you. For what exactly, you're not sure, but he doesn't deter his staring. You don't have to voice your concerns. He's used to you badgering him with your distrust. 

Still, you say one thing. "JJ, someone could find us." 

"I know," he nods. His voice is quiet but steady. He's grounding you again, tethering you. He doesn't cut into your concerns. Instead, he catches them and holds them with care and understanding. "You don't have to trust this, but try to trust me," 

"Impossible, I know," he says. A small laugh bubbles past his lips, his expression genuinely amused. He steps forward then, using the hand that's still clad in yours to pull you towards him. The smile leaves his face, but his voice softens as he speaks. "But will you try? For us?"

The air around you compresses, pushing you two together until there is space for nothing except a little spark between your chests. A spark ignited by the words Us. That word hits you like a bad wave wiping you off your board. In a literal sense, you are an us, two people in this together. But it means so much more. Like, after you step into the cabin, everything will change. There won't be a you or JJ. There won't even be a you and JJ. It'll only be an Us. One unit. For better or for worse, it's Us. 

"I-I'll try," you stammer. JJ gives you a grateful smile. 

"We'll lay ground rules, make sure no one catches us," JJ promises. There really is nowhere else to go, and all you can do right now is either give this a shot or sleep on the streets. "And if we get caught, at least the jails have cots." Or that.

You hit your hand against JJ's arms, and he pulls away, laughing. He takes two small steps away from you, but the spark doesn't snap. It grows. No amount of distance can extinguish it now. 

He puts the key into the lock and opens the cabin door. You note that the door doesn't creek. He ducks his head and crouches to step inside, flicking the switch to his right. The dim light spills out around him. You follow his lead, his hand– still holding yours– pulling you through despite any lingering hesitation. 

The interior looks exactly as you remember seeing it online when you would mindlessly scroll. The "lounge" area consists of a leather couch built into the floor, a sink with a microwave over it, a fridge under it, and two doors. If your research is correct, one door will lead to a full-sized bed, and the other will lead to a restroom that makes a porta-potty seem big. You'd dreamed of having a boat like this for vacations and fishing days. You'd never wanted it to be your home. After you'd left Terrance, you hadn't wanted to return to ship life, but at least it wasn't foreign to you. You'd know how to maintain it and make it work. 

JJ strokes his thumb against the skin of your hand as he announces, "Home sweet home." 

"Home sweet home," You agree.

taglist: @theater-bitch @ayy1234567 @tpwkyarely @loves animals0000 @b3rryb3t @mvaldez7821 @ummmmokaynotme @velyssaraptor @chloemaybank @sandaltoesocks @thexplosivegirl @rudypankowisbae @marleymarleymarleymarley @snowtargaryen @awurtzx06 @yumwhy @rudypankowisbae @thxtmarvelchick @otra-chica-0 @agnxstic @rinaarii @kaisgirlie

[honeyxbunny99]

Sandor Clegane~ The Bitch and The Hound pt.8

The next few days were unexpectedly pleasant for you. That strange man came to check on you once more and gave you a balm to apply, Anna came to visit you and brush your hair once, and you began to grow a strong fondness for Charlie’s smart mouth and obnoxious laugh.

Once he woke you in the middle of the night with a small cake, to which you scolded him, and he only smiled.

“Oh shut up, I know you want it. Girls love sweets…”

You fought off a smile but caved when you finally bit into the delicious treat. You took one more small bite and then offered the rest to the boy. “Little boys love sweets, too.”

Charlie furrowed his brow and clicked his tongue at you and you snickered at his frustration.

“I’m not so little, you know!”

You reminded him with a finger on his lips to keep quiet and insisted he take the cake again. He considered for a while before accepting and then talking with his mouth full; “I’m closer to your age than that old husband of yours.”

You quirked a brow, noting his truth. “I think all men are really boys. They never quite grow up… Either little boys or monsters in the end.” You nodded in conclusion. “I think you’ll be a little boy at heart forever, which is much preferable to the alternative.”

Charlie didn’t seem so offended after that, and you watched his eyes scan over your face in the moonlight. “You’re quite pretty, you know.. Have I ever told you that?”

You chuckled softly, “Only nearly every time you’ve seen me.”

“Are you gonna kiss me, then?”

Your head dropped to the side in confusion, but you knew it would be rude to laugh. “No, I’m not going to kiss you.”

“But what if I told you I’d never been kissed before…”

“I’d say that I don’t believe you—"

Charlie scoffed and smirked, throwing up his arms. “I can’t win with you, lady!…” he got closer to your face and you retreated, beginning to actually get nervous.

“Is it because you’re married?” You sighed. “I don’t mind.. I know he don’t mind otherwise he’d come let you out rather than continue on serving that cunt Joff-“

“It’s not my marriage.” “What is it then? You think I’m ugly.” You sighed, sitting up to ensure he took you seriously now. “No. I think you’re a very handsome young man. I think you’re going to have your pick of any girls you like if only you can restrain yourself a little better in the future.” “I’d pick you.”

“Well you’re not able to pick yet. You’re still a child, enjoy being one.” “I’m 12!” “And I’m a used woman!” You whisper shouted back at him. “I’ve been had, you would not be my first kiss. You deserve better for your first time so you might as well get it out of your head because I’ve made up my mind.”

He looked disappointed but surprised you when he responded calmly instead of lashing out. “What about when I’m older… you can be my second, my last maybe..”

You considered his proposal for a moment before resolving with a small nod. “Sure, Charlie… When you’re a man I’ll kiss you.” Charlie smiled and held up an accusatory finger. “You said I’ll stay a little boy forever—“ you laughed and rolled your eyes.

“Well when you’re older and I’ve decided you’re not monstrous, how about then?”

He smiled and grabbed your hand, shaking it dramatically. “S’a deal!”

He held onto your hand as he maneuvered himself to lay down in your lap, finally placing your hand on his hair. He closed his eyes and relaxed against your thigh as you hesitantly began stroking through his hair.

“I’d never be monstrous to you, (Y/n)…” he yawned. “I’d treat you real nice, no matter what anyone said..”

At that moment, your head urged you to ask him to release you. In the middle of the night you might actually stand a chance at escaping. But over the past week, you had the sad realization that you would never ask it of him. Charlie setting you free would mean death or worse for him, and he was just a sweet dumb boy. He was doing his best to care for you in the ways that he could and you were grateful. There was no need to bring up the fact that it was him locking you in that cage every day.

“I think you’re great, (Y/n).” You continued your ministrations on his head, holding back tears now. You noticed he called you by your name often. It was the only time you heard it now, and you wondered if he knew how human it made you feel. You leaned down to kiss his forehead and he smiled and looked up at you, eyes full of hope.

“I think you’re great too… Will you bring Anna for me tomorrow?” He nodded, bringing his hand up to tap on yours, as if to wordlessly tell you to keep scratching. You laughed, ruffled his hair once more and then retracted, leaning back on your hands. “Go get some sleep in a bed, Charlie.”

He sighed but nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

After he left, you couldn’t sleep. His words had sparked up a lot of new thoughts for you. While you were indeed still young, you considered the fact that even if you survived all this and escaped King’s Landing somehow, you may never take another lover. Men had always been fearsome creatures to you, except for the dashing kind in storybooks. Now with your trauma, you doubted you could ever let another get so close to you.

You grew nervous even at your own touch now; how could you let a man, a boy or even a woman touch you in the ways you once craved. It was only fitting, you supposed, that the very next person to visit you that morning was Petyr Baelish himself.

"How cruel..." His voice spoke at the far entrance. No matter how distant and unfamiliar as it should have been, his voice was burned in your memory. You pressed your face to the bars in attempt to see him. Your eyes locked on that subtle smirk.

"You, shut away like so many dogs, while your husband remains in freedom and good standing with the crown for the very same crime... An unfortunate but typical outcome for the luck of being born a woman."

You seethed in your cage as you listened to him drawl on and on. "And what crime was that, Littlefinger? Fucking my husband, who was given to me by Joffrey?"

"A tragedy..." he began, smirk growing and falling as he spoke. "I thought surely Joffree would have explained to you your errors, as he often enjoys in his kingly monologues.. Your punishment is--"

"Is because you reported it." You interjected boldly. "Didn't you. And you dare seek me out again-- what more could you possibly take from me, you snake?!"

In the midst of your accusation, you picked up a nearby stone and threw it at the cage opposite you. His eyes finally cast down and he paused for a moment, inhaling deeply.

"I am sorry you feel I have wronged you. I actually sought you out to present you with opportunity. One I'm sure you'll find more desirable than sitting, dining and shitting with beasts..."

You remembered the healer had warned you about his presence. He designed this entire scenario to benefit him in this very way, so you had to see what all this was for.

"And what is that?" Venom still biting in your tone.

"Work for me. With me."

You scoffed and waited for him to continue or tell you that it was a joke. When he said nothing, only stared, you began to laugh. With all your strength you laughed loudly, clutching your stomach for exaggerated effect, and finished it by spitting on the ground as far in front of you as you could. You couldn't even think of something clever or cruel to match him, so you just walked away to disappear to him.

"Are they feeding you well? Cleaning you? Providing your soul with comforts like music, a soft place to lie your head? With me you could have all that and more... I have already made arrangements with the King, he agrees that you are being wasted in the kennel, and I see it now more than ever. You are wasting away, Lady Clegane." He threw the name on the end of it just to pierce you again and you marched up to the gate to look at him.

"Don't ever call me that! If you let me out of here I'll rip your tongue out before it can hurt anyone else. I will never be your whore!"

Petyr took a long moment before he dared to speak again. "He hurt you, didn't he, (Y/n)? The man who gave you that name... Hurt more than your body. Samuel, he told me of your ailments."

You furrowed your brows. The healer? The man you owed? Perhaps you took too long and he approached Petyr for the money. You felt shame creep up your spine, and you wondered why you were even still listening to him.

"I could keep him from you, you know. I've heard whispers of your former husband's tendency to lurk about after dark. I can only imagine the torment he must cause you, now still. If you came with me I could ensure you were safe, taken care of..."

His words were both terrifying and soothing, and you wondered how a man could be both in the same breath. You turned your body away from him and rested your back against the stone wall so he couldn't see that you were actually considering his awful proposition. Beast growled lowly when you looked at him and you cast your watery eyes up to the ceiling.

"You are a rare beauty and a smart girl. I can't imagine you feel at home here. You could make something of yourself, be richer than your father could have ever dreamed for you, belong to no one, love many--"

"I can't take another lover..." You settled, sighing to yourself and wiping your hands over your face.

"I have been assured you're healing well, (Y/n), this is not the end for you."

"I can't!" You shouted back. "I won't, ever! Sorry to foil your plans but I will never let another man rape me. I'll die first."

There was a great silence and you hoped he wouldn't hear you crying.

"What a tragedy it would be, for a life to end so short." He threatened and you gasped. "Stannis' army is approaching on the water as we speak. At best we have days before the men reach the shores. Men, who pay at brothels, but rape the loose women left behind. Women, children, grown men. I imagine you'll have the perfect position to hear their agony, their dying... And when all the soldiers are dead or captured, no matter which men end triumphant, they'll come for you. Hard and smelly and the brutality still fresh in their minds… Your beauty will serve them, not you. Or you'll die first, as you say...

Or you can accept my offer and I can protect you from monsters like Sandor Clegane. And his brother Gregor, who is set to arrive even before Stannis Baratheon. Whatever beastly things you can imagine of the Hound, I can promise you, The Mountain turns those to childish fantasies. If death is what you seek, stay here."

You trembled with fear at his words, and covered your mouth with your palm to keep from crying out.

"If you change your mind, send the boy to find me. I think he's fond of you, as am I... The loss of you would be a loss for all man. And it would be no one’s fault but your own.”

You held your breath and prayed he would leave. After a few moments of silence you felt the aura that lingered around him dissipate and you could breathe again. Days. There was nothing you could use to defend yourself in the kennel; only your cell mates, who would surely be released and used and killed if war were to breach the walls of King’s Landing. And Gregor Clegane would be here before all that. You didn’t want to cry anymore; couldn’t as you were dehydrated on top of everything else.

“Lunch time!” Charlie’s voice rang out, and the routine of excited dogs rang loudly around you. You tried to put a smile on and hoped what little tears you’d shed hadn’t left their mark behind on your cheeks.

“I brought your favorite, love. Potatoes!”

You grinned so hard it shut your eyes and you stuck your hand out through the bars to accept the food.

“You’re looking chipper today. It was the cake, wasn’t it?” He winked.

“Girls love sweets.” You shrugged. “No more though, I’m serious… Where’s Anna?”

“Oh, she’s still doing her chores but the hound’s been busy the last few nights, ain’t come back to his room for supper, so I expect she’ll be ready to see you around then. I’ll come back with her around sunset.”

Your face fell noticeably and the taste of the potatoes soured in your mouth at the mention of his name. “I can’t believe she still serves him.”

“Not much choice for her, eh. She don’t do much complaining, anyway.” He chuckled a little to himself and you rolled your eyes at him. “She don’t come back with bruises or nothing if that’s what you’re worried about. He dirties the bed, seen her shining up his armor once, half the time he don’t even eat what she brings him. She comes back with near full plates and we sneak what we can— or it ends up here for you lot.”

This struck your curiosity. Not eating, drunk and wandering, hanging around the kennels. Could he feel guilty? That look he gave you once showed no remorse. Still, part of you wanted him to suffer a fraction of what you did. In the background of your thoughts, Charlie rambled on about all the responsibilities he had throughout the day, how the royals don’t know how to wipe their asses, and you tuned the rest out when you had an idea.

“Charlie, maybe I was too hasty about your stealing…”

His smirk mirrored your own. “You want another cake?”

“No, I want parchment if you can. And something to write with.”

His face morphed in curiosity. “What are you planning to do with them?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“If it’s a love letter I’ll save you the time, I can’t read.” You laughed softly at his conclusion. “I’m more of a man of action, really.”

“It’s a surprise for Anna. Do you think you can do it or not?”

He rolled his eyes and left without another word. About an hour after that papers and lead were dropped through the barred window and when you peeked out of it you only saw the boy walking away with a full cart. You smiled and began your distractions. You folded and drew for hours until the dogs began barking again, signaling the return of Charlie and Anna. The sun was setting and cast a most beautiful orange over the city. Charlie let you into the hall of the kennel to bask in the light and show Anna what you had made her.

“It’s for you to speak… communicate better. See I’ve drawn these pictures here so you can say what you need.” You flipped through the small pages with her and she looked at them in awe. There were pages for things you thought relevant to her job— soap, sheets, food, wine, polish. Then there were things you’d drawn that were more human: tired, sick, hungry, bathe, bathroom. “We can add to it or change it if you want, but you can only communicate so much with your eyes and gestures.. I want to make sure you’re alright, Anna.”

She smiled with watery eyes and took your lead from you, and drew a heart on a blank spot. She threw her arms around you in an embrace and kissed your cheek. You were so relieved it could bring her some joy and comfort, and you were glad for the distraction it had given you that day. You still had Petyr’s offer to consider.

Charlie grabbed the book you’d made for Anna and looked through it quickly. “These are pretty good actually. Did you ever want to be an artist?” “No,” you thought aloud. “Just a wife I suppose.”

“That worked out so well for you.” He teased before huffing. “Listen, I don’t know how much we’ll be able to see each other anymore… Any of us.” The both of you looked at him. “I’m not supposed to be feeding the dogs now… The usurper’s brother is on his way and they want the dogs hungry. I— I told them about you, reminded him that you’re meat and you could starve or be eaten yourself but he said that’s not my concern, the pompous ass…” he looked sad, confused, and angry all at the same time. He reached into his pocket and emerged with another crumbling cake to offer you. “Maybe… maybe we should tell him. The Hound.”

Anna nodded fervently and it angered you and you let her go. “You’ll not speak a word of this to him. He knows where I am and he knows war is coming and he doesn’t care… I don’t care either, I’d rather be dog food than owe him anything.”

“(Y/n)!” Charlie scolded you with your own name, but you only stuck your nose up at him. Anna’s eyes looked fearful now and she shook her head. She snatched the book back from Charlie and pointed repeatedly at the heart she had just added. Love. “I love you too, Anna but there’s nothing we can do. It’s alright—“ she waved her arms to say no. She pointed at Charlie, only confusing you more. “The Hound! She means the hound loves you!” Charlie gathered and smiled proudly when Anna nodded.

You sneered and stood up to walk back to your cage, rattling the bars and alerting the dogs. “Let me back in, Charlie.”

“Well hang on, (Y/n) she’s trying to say something to you—“

“If it’s about him I don’t want to hear it.” While Charlie and you argued about the proposition of begging your husband for mercy, Anna flipped through the pages and struggled in her mind with how to get you—anyone— to understand what she’d experienced earlier today.

~

Anna entered the hound’s room silently and saw that the bed was empty and perfectly made from the night before. She sighed a little to herself, thinking she must have the easiest job of everyone she knew now; she hardly ever saw the man, so there was really no one to boss her around. The hound must have fallen asleep in a tavern or Gods knew where, as was becoming more frequent. On mornings like this one, she would take a moment to relax under the fancy covers, which bore no holes like the ones on her bed. She would hum to herself and consider what it would be like to be noble. That’s precisely what she was doing— rolling around in the sheets—when she heard glass slam against the wall of the bathroom behind her.

She gasped and sat straight up, waiting for more sound to follow, trying to control her breathing. “Out.” She couldn’t move. “Get the fuck out of our bed.”

As if the message came directly from herself, her body moved quickly to follow. She smoothed the covers back over quickly and started across the room to exit, though she couldn’t help but steal a glance in the direction of that familiar grumbling voice. She saw Sandor Clegane bunched up and fully clothed in a tub too small for him. Quickly she averted her eyes to the door when another command followed.

“Stop…”

Anna’s eyes drifted slowly in shame and horror to her master. He rose up out of the empty tub, slightly wobbling from the drink that must have once been in the glass bottle that lay in tiny glittering pieces near the wall. As he approached the girl she tried to focus on anything else to keep her feet locked in place. He had never hurt her before; in fact since she lost her tongue, the two had never even made a sound to each other. Still, Anna knew what he was capable of. She looked past him to recognize one of (Y/n)’s dresses draped over the edge of the tub and her brow twitched in confusion. There was no more time to wonder, however, as the hound was now no more than a foot away from her; stinking of drink and desperation.

“You’ve been to see her…” she wasn’t sure if it was a question so she bravely searched his eyes for some clue. Slowly she nodded, figuring he already knew and hadn’t punished her. Suddenly his hands were gripping her arms hard and she gasped and cringed. “Is she.. well? You have to tell me, is she well in there?”

She narrowed her eyes to a squint of disgust and shook her head. She wanted to say so many things to him but could not speak. Sandor cursed and tossed her aside only to stumble himself back against the bed. He ran a hand over his greasy face and looked up in thought. “Would you tell her—“ he cut himself off with a laugh, short at first, then devolving into some pathetic joke. “You can’t tell her anything, can you?!.. I s’pose you blame me for that too, eh?… She does, doesn’t she?”

His eyes looked sad, but she could only rub her arms and listen. “I know she does.. I don’t need to hear it from you to know that she thinks I’m a monster now. I saw it myself... I’ve seen that look before my whole life. Fear, hatred, disgust, pity. It was all there in her eyes…” his voice wavered and his head dropped down so that she could no longer see his face. She was caught so off guard by his emotions that she almost pitied him. “What could I do, tell me what could I do then?! We’d have never made it out alive anyways and—“ he looked up at her and cut himself off with a huff. He leaned back against the bed and kicked off his boots. “Doesn’t matter now, does it… We’ll all be dead soon enough. I just want her to know that it was real. It was..” He trailed off into silence and then an obnoxious snore.

As bizarre as his speech might have been, and as much fear and resentment as she still held for the man before her, she felt a compulsion to take care of him. It was real. She had to protect their secret still. She tucked the man into bed with great struggle and checked on him throughout the day. Instead of leaving him his meal tray and carrying on with responsibilities outside of the chamber, she sat there and made sure he ate. She brought him plenty of bread to soak up the alcohol in his system and when the time came around when she said she would meet Charlie, she extended her hand out to Sandor to shake— as if declaring some truce. He didn’t take it of course, and sober and mean now, he simply told her to fuck off. She took no offense however; rather remembered all the praises (Y/n) had once sung of him.

It was real. But how could she tell her?

[ladykailitha]

Soft Part 1 of 2

I was meant to be working on Grief (A Friend Indeed) this weekend because I didn't want to leave you hanging at the end of six (which I have written), but my muse wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote this one. It's a little more than 3k, so I'm splitting it up. Which will give me more time to write part 7.

It's called soft because all the way through writing it, that's what the feel was. It was all fluff. And I really couldn't think of a better title.

*

Eddie walked into the apartment Steve shared with Robin and found Steve crying on the sofa.

"Stevie?" he asked, gently creeping up on the sofa as not to startle him.

"Hey, Eds," Steve greeted mournfully.

"What happened, babe?" Eddie asked, easing on the sofa next to him.

"Anna broke up with me..." he muttered.

Eddie blinked. "But wasn't she the one that brought up marriage, like just last week?"

Steve nodded. "Apparently it was a test or some such shit."

"What did you say?" he asked.

"I told her that marriage is great when you find the right person, but that it wasn't for everyone," Steve explained. "I said it was great feeling to stand up in front of your friends and family and declare your love for each other."

"Sounds great to me," Eddie said. "What was her damage?"

Steve sighed. "Apparently the answer to the question 'should people get married' is never ever in a million years and I'm a misogynist for even thinking about it."

"Ouch."

"Stupid me for thinking otherwise," Steve groused. "Hell I even went and put a down payment on a ring. A very nonrefundable down payment."

Eddie closed his eyes and opened them slowly. "Shit, sweetheart. She should reimburse you for that, leading you on like she did."

Steve shook his head, pulling out a small box. "I bought this instead." He handed it to Eddie.

Eddie opened the box and inside was a beautiful white gold chain with a large clasp.

"That's pretty, Stevie," he murmured. "Birdie will love it."

Steve shook his head again. "It's for you. It's for your guitar pick." He jutted his chin at Eddie's necklace.

"What?"

"Can I show you?" Steve asked gently, holding out his hand.

Eddie nodded and took the necklace off and placed it in his waiting palm.

Steve set it on his thigh as he unscrewed one end of the clasp. He slid the pick off the bubble chain Eddie kept it on and onto the silver chain. He screwed the clasp back on and then brought the two ends back together. They connected without any help from Steve.

"Whoa!" Eddie said, enthralled.

"It's magnetic," he explained. "That way when you do shows you can do the whole rip it off your neck without having to buy new chains all the time."

He handed it back to Eddie, who put it on. He tugged on it normally but it didn't come off. He tugged harder and it came off in his hand. The chain slipped around his palm and reconnected. He wrapped it around his wrist and the pick fell perfectly in his hand so he could strum.

He played a little air guitar and then put back around his neck.

Steve ran his fingers through his hair. "I heard that picks really don't last long, and that that one is really special, so I had these made too."

He pulled the cushion out of the jewelry box to reveal about a dozen picks with a hole drilled into the top so Eddie could string them on the necklace.

Eddie picked one up and saw that it had initials on it. "JL." He picked up another one. "DH." A third. "LS."

"Steve..." he whispered.

"They each have an initial for someone you love," Steve murmured. "Your uncle. Your band. The kids."

"Not you?" Eddie asked, tilting his head around so he could get a better look at Steve face.

Steve blushed a dark red. He tugged on the necklace and it came off in his hand. "My initials are here." He pointed to the two clasps. And sure enough there were engraved into the silver was a simple S and H.

Eddie's heart stuttered in his chest. "Thank you." His lip quivered a bit before he spoke again. "You didn't have to do this, you know."

Steve shook his head. "I had to get something with down payment. This wasn't that much. I promise. I liked getting it for you."

Eddie just nodded.

*

Eddie showed up for band practice, practically vibrating out of his skin.

Jeff leaned back. “Whoa, man. Who’s put caffeine into your veins?”

“Lookie what Stevie got me!” he said and yanked off the chain, it immediately demonstrated the effect for him.

“Holy shit!” Gareth said bounding up to him. “That’s so freaking cool.”

Eddie grinned. “He also got me these.” And he poured the picks into Gareth’s hand.

Gareth picked one up, after another reading off the initials. “JH, ES, DH... GH?”

He looked up at Eddie in awe. He held up the GH. “Is that me?”

Eddie nodded, pursing his lips. “There’s a JL and a BM in there too.”

“And the rest all the kids right?” Brian asked coming up behind Gareth.

“And Wayne and Robin,” Eddie confirmed.

Jeff wandered over, too. “No pick for Stevie?” he asked, pushing them around in Gareth’s hand.

Eddie quietly showed them the initials on the necklace itself.

“Holy fuck!” Brian said, wide-eyed. “That’s a declaration of love if I ever saw one, man.”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah, Ed. That’s some straight up romantic shit.”

“Come on, guys,” Eddie moaned. “It’s not like that. He put a down payment on a ring for a relationship that went bust and needed to spend it anyway.”

All three of his bandmates just stared at him in disbelief.

He squirmed a little under their gaze. “I bet Birdie got something even better than this.” He held up the necklace. “It’s only silver, it couldn’t have cost that much anyway.”

“Dude,” Brian said. “Your rings are silver. That is something else.”

Eddie frowned and compared the two pieces of jewelry side by side.

“Oh.”

He chewed on his lip. “I think I know what metal this is.”

Gareth rubbed his chin. “It looks like my mom’s wedding ring. And that’s...”

“White gold,” Eddie and Gareth said together.

Jeff’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. “You mean to tell me that Steve got you a necklace made of white gold and you still don’t think it’s a declaration of his undying love you?”

“Guys...” he whined. “It’s only the necklace. It can’t have cost that much, okay?”

Jeff ran his tongue over his lips, a sly look on his face.

“What?” Eddie barked.

“I’ll tell you what...” Jeff said shrewdly. “If he bought something for Buckley, too, we’ll learn all fucking ten minutes of Master of Puppets.”

Eddie grinned. But Brian and Gareth didn’t even have the decency to look worried.

“And if he hasn’t...” Jeff continued. “You’ll play Free Bird at the next gig at the Hideout.”

Eddie groaned. Both songs were long, but he thought Free Bird was boring. Not like Master of Puppets, that song had depths.

But then again... he was sure that Robin had something even nicer from Steve. Like diamond stud earrings or some shit.

“You’re on.”

Jeff smiled as they shook on it and it made Eddie doubt a bit.

Nah.

He had this on lock.

*

Eddie came bounding up to the counter at Steve and Robin’s job at the bookstore. Just another in their long line of jobs they had together.

“Where is your soulmate?” he asked the very disgruntled Robin.

She rolled her eyes. “He’s at home. With another migraine.”

Eddie winced. “That’s the third one this week.”

Robin nodded. “He’s got an appointment with a neurologist next week, but I’m stuck here, while he’s at home being miserable.”

Eddie pouted. “Poor Birdie. I can check up on him on my way home?”

“Thanks,” she said, a little bit of tension leaving her body.

“Speaking of your soulmate,” he said. “Did he show you what he got me?”

Robin shook her head. “I didn’t even realize he had gotten you anything.”

Eddie frowned, but took off his necklace and handed it to her.

She smiled at the initials. “That dingus. That’s really sweet of him.”

He told her the whole story. “So what did he get you?” he asked when he finished.

Robin furrowed her brow. “Nothing.”

Eddie reared back his head. “That’s not possible. He loves you the most in all the world. He would have gotten you something.”

She gently took his hand, the necklace tangling around their fingers. “Eddie, he loves you, too. Just as much, just differently.”

He reached out with his free hand and fingered the braided chain. “Jeff... the whole band really thought it was a declaration of true love.”

“They sound pretty smart to me.”

Eddie pursed his lips. He nodded. “I’ve got to go. Don’t worry, I’ll still check up on him.”

He untangled their hands and put the necklace back on.

Robin watched him go with a fond smile on her face. They were both stupid. But they were getting there.

*

Eddie had made sure Steve had taken his medicine and was lying down in his room with an ice pack on his head.

He was snooping. He was usually against that. Like with every fiber of his being, but this was extenuating circumstances. He couldn’t ask Steve as it was for a surprise for him. Couldn’t ask Robin, he loved her but she would blurt out the surprise. Just randomly. Without prompting.

So he was snooping around looking for a specific piece of paper he knew Robin kept in one of three places. Her nightstand. Wasn’t there. Next to the phone. Again, not there. So he was rifling through their junk drawer in a last ditch effort to find what he was looking for.

EUREKA! He found it.

He copied the information and then put the paper back. He carefully put the paper in his wallet.

He stayed nearby until Robin came home, but Steve slept straight through the changing of the guard.

***

Part 2

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[redrose10]

I hope this is okay! This one was requested for Yoongi, Namjoon, or Hobi and I went with Yoongi.

#4 I should’ve told you a long time ago

#23 We have to be quiet

Warnings: Angst, swearing, Teen pregnancy

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You felt like you’d just seen a ghost. The man standing in front of you being the same man that broke your heart fifteen years ago when he decided his career was more important than you or your relationship.

“Hi Y/N, sorry to just show up announced. I was back in the area and thought I’d stop by.”, he smiled a familiar heart stopping smile.

Against your better judgement you invited him in. Once the coffee was finished brewing you put two cups down on the table before taking a seat across from him.

“Okay Yoongi, how did you find me and what do you want?”, you spat.

He was a little taken back by your cold attitude, “I got your address from Mia. I just wanted to see you. Make sure you’re doing okay. It’s been a while.” You made a mental note to scold your best friend the next time you saw her.

“Well you can see I’m okay so finish your coffee and go. I’m sure you’ve got a hotel room full of women and booze waiting for you.”

“Seriously Y/N? That’s how you’re going to talk to me? Even after all these years.”, he questioned.

After breaking up with you and once his career took off Yoongi became somewhat of a hard partying womanizer. Always being photographed with a different woman every night or stumbling out of random clubs if he wasn’t thrown out. He’s been married three times, but claims only one was legit and the other two were just drunken mistakes. Sometimes you were glad he let you go. Maybe he did you a favor after all.

“I’m sorry Yoongi. It’s just late and I’ve worked all day. I wasn’t expecting company, especially not you.”, you said.

“I understand. I won’t stay long. I just wanted to check on you and finally apologize for everything.”

Before you could respond you heard the front door open and shut and soon after your teenage daughter appeared in the kitchen.

“How was work baby?”, you asked trying to calm your nerves and appear normal.

“Ugh well I’m covered in grease and pizza sauce, but I’m another day closer to affording a car.”, she replied grabbing a drink out of the refrigerator.

“That’s right Anna. You know the deal, I’ll match however much you come up with so the more you save the better of a car you can get.”

“Alright well then get ready because I want to have a similar one to the Porsche that is currently parked in the drive way.”, she chuckled before looking at Yoongi with wide eyes.

“Anna this is an old friend of mine. His name is Yoongi. And Yoongi this is my daughter Anna.”

Yoongi curiously looked her over before giving her a wave. Anna politely said goodbye before mumbling something about needed to scrub the pizza grease off and running upstairs.

“How old is she?”, Yoongi immediately questioned.

“She is about 15 years old.”, you cringed because you already knew what he was thinking.

“Mmhm I see. And her father is…?”

You nodded, “Her father is sitting at this kitchen table right now.”

He jumped back until he was flush against the wall, “What the fuck Y/N? What the fuck? All these years? All these years and you never once thought to tell me you gave birth to our daughter? To my daughter?!”

Just as fast you ran to him placing your hand over his mouth, “We have to be quiet. She doesn’t know about you or us. Let’s go upstairs and talk.”

He nodded as you took his hand leading him towards your bedroom where you could make sure the door was closed and locked.

Once inside you heard Yoongi laugh. “What is so funny?”, you questioned.

“Oh I don’t know. I guess because the last time you snuck me up to your room it ended with you getting pregnant and me not finding out about for fifteen years.”, he hissed.

Your blood started boiling, “Look, I should’ve told you a long time ago. I admit that. But you’re the one that broke up with me without even asking what I wanted.“

“Because I wanted to protect you. I knew I couldn’t give you the relationship you deserved with how much time and energy I had to put in my music. We weren’t even adults yet. I was young and dumb and didn’t know how to handle all the changes.”

“Maybe I would’ve been okay with that. Maybe I would’ve been okay with what little you could give me instead of nothing at all.”, you whispered hearing your voice become unsteady.

Yoongi still knowing you well knew that was a telltale sign that you were about to cry so he sat down on the bed and pulled you down next to him while while running soothing circles on your back.

“Did you know you were pregnant the day I broke up with you?”, his voice cracking at the end.

Too scared to speak you nodded your head.

“So why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve taken care of you, both of you.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. After you told me that you got an offer from a record label and were moving to the city to pursue your career I didn’t want to be the reason you gave that up. You were so close to achieving your dreams and a girlfriend and a baby would have only made it harder.”

He ran his hands over his face in frustration and maybe a little anger, “Fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you’ve been doing this along all these years. How could you hide this from me?”

“It wasn’t bad. My parents helped when they could. I have friends. We’ve been doing okay.”

“She’s beautiful.”, he said after a while causing you to giggle, “Of course she is. She looks like you in a wig.”

You continued, “She’s really smart and kind. She’s so thoughtful. She has a big interest in music. Just like her father. She’s a big fan too. She’s probably freaking out in her room right now. I don’t know how she kept it together downstairs. ”

He smiled at the thought.

The room fell into an awkward silence after that.

“Well I better get back to my hotel. It’s really late. Maybe I can come back and get to know her more. If that’s okay with both of you.”, he said standing up.

“Yoongi wait!”, you leaned forward to stop him, “Um what if you spent the night? You can have breakfast with us in the morning and we can talk about everything. The three of us.”

He nodded and crawled back into bed making sure to leave a comfortable space between the two of you but reaching for your hand to let you know it’ll all work out in the end.

[ahamasmiyodhah]

𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈 𝐍𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐄

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Arulmozhi Varman x Vanathi

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: On the auspicious occasion of marriage of Nakkan Akkarmangaiyar, eldest daughter of Avani Sundarapurathu Deivar of Pazhuvur, Arulmozhi is confused why is he getting jealous of Kumaran Maravan- son of Avani Sundarapurathu Deivar when he's talking to Vanathi? Anyways, he can't talk to Vanathi.

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘: @zeherili-ankhein (a Diwali gift to you🪔)

Vanathi giggled.

Arulmozhi felt his eye twitch.

At Vanathi's giggle? No. Because of the yoing man who stood beside her right now, laughing heartily along with her.

The Pazhuvur Palace was lit up, decorated like a bride. And why not? It was the wedding of Akkarmangaiyar, eldest daughter of Avani Sundarapurathu Deivar, who was son of Chinna Pazhuvettaraiyar. The whole Royal Family were invited, along with all the Chieftains of allied Kingdoms.

Arulmozhi had known very well that the ties of familial connections ran deep between Pazhuvur and Kodumbalur like it did with Kodumbalur and Royal Family. Pazhuvur's Avani Sundarapurathu Deivar was married to the younger Sister of Irungolan Siriya Velar and Periya Velar Bhuthi Vikramakesari, named Chandravadhani. Chandravadhani bore two daughters and three sons to Avani Sundarapurathu Deivar, eldest being Akkarmangai, who was getting married.

But that wasn't bothering him. He had known Akkarmangai. The said Pazhuvur Princess, epitome of grace was around same age as his Anna Aditha Karikalan. Although not relatively close, the two had shared a good bond. The younger son Kumaran Maravan was two years younger than Arulmozhi himself— same age as Vanathi.

What bothered him was how Kumaran was making Vanathi laugh. What bothering him was how OPEN Vanathi was with him. What bothering him was that she was behaving same way with him just like she did with HIM. And why? He didn't knew.

'You don't love her, why bother?' a voice said tauntingly in his mind.

"Did you see them?" One of the Wife of Chieftains said. "See who?" The other asked.

"The Pazhuvur Prince and Kodumbalur Kula Vilakku."

"Ah, yes, are they courting each other?"

Arulmozhi's heart skipped a beat.

"I do not think so, or maybe they are. Isn't Arasi Chandravadhani Princess of Kodumbalur and Ilavarasi Vanathi's Athai?"

"Yes yes, maybe they will marry. Avani Sundarapurathu Deivar was a close friend of Siriya Velar. And I have heard lots of praises of Kodumbalur Vanathi from Periya Pirattiyar and Ilaiya Piratti."

"But isn't she betrothed to Arulmozhi Devan?"

"I do not think so. They weren't officially engaged. My Mandakini told me that Komagane doesn't really pay heed to them when he comes to meet Ilaiya Piratti." One of the other said.

"Ah yes, also, she's isn't born of Varaguna Perumanar. She's not his Murai Penn." The first one said off handedly.

As they continued talking, Arulmozhi felt his stomach drop further and further, and it was shown on his face. Aditha, having noticed, looked at him in concern. "Mozhi? Kanna? Are you fine? Why do you look green?" He asked confused.

When he got no answer, he followed his younger brother's gaze and it fell on Vanathi and Kumaran Maravan, and suddenly Everything clicked.

"Ah, they do look good together indeed." Aditha's words made him snap his head at his Anna. "What?" He asked, his voice hoarse. "Well, they look good." He said matter of factly. "Anna, what are you saying? They don't look good together." Arulmozhi denied.

Aditha leaned casually against a pillar, watching his younger brother with a knowing smirk. His eyes darted to the far side of the courtyard, where Vanathi was laughing with Kumaran Maravan, their conversation flowing with a warmness. Glancing back at Arulmozhi, he caught the way his brother’s gaze had narrowed, jaw tight as he watched them.

"But they indeed look well matched." Aditha mused, obviously egging his Kanna.

Arulmozhi shot him a warning look, but Aditha continued undeterred, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You know, they’d make a fine pair—two bright young heirs, well-connected families. I’m sure everyone in the palace is already talking about it.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Arulmozhi replied tersely, but the tension in his voice betrayed him. “They’re just… cousins.”

“Cousins, yes. But isn’t that often how alliances begin?” Aditha chuckled, giving him a playful nudge. “Besides, look at the way they’re laughing together. She seems quite taken with him. And who could blame her? Kumaran is every bit the charming prince.”

Arulmozhi’s fists clenched, his patience fraying. Aditha leaned in, lowering his voice just enough. “Tell me, little brother… would it really bother you that much if Vanathi chose Kumaran?”

That was the last straw. Arulmozhi snapped, his voice sharp. “Enough, Anna!" He said eith a angry frown.

Aditha only laughed, his smirk widening as he took in Arulmozhi’s reaction. “Touched a nerve, have I?” he teased, crossing his arms. “It’s clear enough—you’d rather she be here, laughing with you, wouldn’t you?”

Arulmozhi turned away, jaw still set, trying to mask the frustration burning beneath his calm facade. “You don’t understand, Anna. This isn’t a game.”

“Isn’t it?” Aditha replied lightly, leaning back. “Then maybe you should make it clear to her before someone else does.”

Arulmozhi’s gaze drifted reluctantly back to Vanathi and Kumaran, tension tightening his chest. Was Aditha right?

.

Kumaran chuckled, eyes gleaming with mischief as he recounted the story to Vanathi. “So, Azhagi was preparing for her dance recital, all serious and focused. And, well, I may have told her that one of her anklets was missing.”

Vanathi’s laughter bubbled up, eyes bright with amusement. “Oh no, I can only imagine how furious she must have been!”

“You have no idea,” Kumaran grinned, shaking his head. “She turned every corner of the palace upside-down looking for it—her temper was as fierce as a storm. And of course, by the time she figured out I’d hidden it, I was halfway to the stables.”

They both laughed heartily, unaware of Arulmozhi’s silent gaze lingering on them from a distance. As Kumaran glanced over and he noticed Arulmozhi’s expression, a rare vulnerability beneath his usually composed face. A slow realization dawned on him: his friend, the reserved and ever-dutiful prince, was in love with Vanathi.

Just then, Thillaiazhagi appeared, tugging at Kumaran’s arm. “Anna, come quickly! Chinna Patta is asking for you,” she said, casting a warm smile at Vanathi. “Akka, you must tell him not to trouble me with his silly pranks!”

Kumaran chuckled, nodding. “Alright, alright, I’m coming.”

"Yes Chellame, now go. Chinna Pattanar must be waiting for you." Vanathi mused as she patted Azhagi's cheek. The Princess beamed and dragged her Anna away.

As Kumaran and Thillaiazhagi left, Vanathi’s laughter slowly faded, though the warmth lingered in her eyes. She turned, only to find Arulmozhi standing a few steps away, his gaze unreadable.

“Ilavarase,” she greeted, a gentle smile forming on her lips as her cheeks dusted. “Did you overhear our little tale of Kumaran’s mischief?”

Arulmozhi nodded, though his expression remained serious. “Yes, it seems he’s quite the charmer.”

Vanathi tilted her head, sensing something beneath his words. “You look… troubled.” She said, her eyes roving over his troubled face. The tension in his brow was visible, and the tautness of his muscles too.

He hesitated, his voice softer than usual. “I just wanted to… remind you to be cautious, Vanathi. Not everyone is as they seem.”

Vanathi frowned, blinking. "What do you wish to say, Ponniyin Selvare?" She asked softly. Oh how he wished she'd call him Yaanai Paaga once again.

Arulmozhi decided to be blunt.

“You can’t talk to Ilavarasar Kumaran Maravan.”

Vanathi blinked, momentarily thrown by Arulmozhi’s abrupt tone. They stood alone in a secluded corner of the grand Pazhuvur Palace, where wedding festivities were underway, a lively hum of music and laughter filling the distant halls. Her gaze flicked up to his face, catching the unusual tension in his expression.

“Why can’t I speak to him?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion. “He’s…he’s my cousin. Surely there’s no harm in exchanging a few words?”

Arulmozhi hesitated, his jaw clenched as if fighting for the right response. “It’s… it’s not appropriate right now,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “There are things you don’t understand, Vanathi. It’s better if you just stay away from him.”

The reasoning sounded hollow, and Vanathi’s brows furrowed deeper. She had always known Kumaran to be respectful and considerate to everyone, his easy charm earning him friends across the kingdom. In fact, her own mother often spoke fondly of him, saying he carried himself with dignity beyond his years. Why, then, was Arulmozhi so intent on warning her against him?

“But, Ilavarase,” she insisted, a soft laugh escaping as she tried to lighten his mood. “What could possibly be the harm in a few words? Kumaran is my aunt’s son—he’s family.”

He looked away, visibly uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck as if hoping the right words would appear out of thin air. “Vanathi, there’s… there’s more to Kumaran than you know. He’s… let’s just say, he’s got a role to play. You can’t get tangled up in his affairs, even if he is family.”

His evasion only deepened her bewilderment. “Since when did you become so cryptic?” she asked, half-smiling in exasperation. “I’ve spoken to Ilavarasar Kumaran countless times, and there was never a problem. What’s changed now?”

Arulmozhi’s eyes flickered, the faintest hint of frustration creeping into his expression. “Things have changed, Vanathi. There are undercurrents you can’t see. Sometimes, even those close to us can be… involved in matters we aren’t meant to understand.”

She opened her mouth to argue but closed it just as quickly, an uneasy feeling settling over her. Why was Arulmozhi suddenly being so protective, so evasive? She trusted him, but his reluctance to explain made her feel like a child kept in the dark, shielded from truths she could just as easily understand.

“Ilavarase,” she said softly, trying to meet his eyes, “I’m not a stranger to the world we live in. You can tell me if there’s something more going on. I’d rather know the truth than be treated like I’m too delicate to handle it.”

He took a deep breath, looking torn, and for a moment, she thought he might actually tell her what was going on. But then he sighed, shaking his head with a faint smile. “It’s not about what you can handle, Vanathi. Some things are better left… unspoken. Please, just trust me.”

She felt a mix of frustration and concern simmering beneath her confusion. What was he so desperate to hide? And why did he look so determined to shield her from someone as kind as Kumaran?

Just as she was wondering, she caught his eyes. Something was amiss. The tightness in his muscles, his shallow breaths, the tension lines on his forehead, the erratic heartbeat which caused him to take rapid breaths...

She gasped softly when he huffed and grabbed her hand.

Arulmozhi was feeling his breath go awry when she questioned him, and he saw Kumaran coming to them. Vanathi, of course, couldn't see. It's now or never. He didn't wanted to lose her to Kumaran, or anyone in fact.

Vanathi was his Muraipenn, not of someone else. She was his Athai's daughter, she should be marrying him.

He suddenly grabbed her wrist and put her hand on his chest, watching how her cheeks turned red and breath shallowing. "Vanathi, I don't like seeing you with Ilavarasar Kumaran. I don't like how you laugh with him. I don't like how comfortable you are with him. I don't like you with him. You are my Muraipenn, he can't court you!" He exclaimed, an exasperated tone in end.

Vanathi stood shell shocked at the sudden confession, suddenly realising as her eyes widened. Her Ilavarasar, he liked her.

He liked her like she liked him.

He loved her.

"Do- do you-" She couldn't find right words, but her voice shook with emotions. "Vanathi, allow me to Court you.." He said softly.

Vanathi’s heart stilled, each beat suspended as Arulmozhi’s words sank in. Court you. The words lingered in the air, tender and vulnerable, as if he’d placed his heart right there between them, fragile and open.

She could barely breathe, her mind racing to catch up, but her emotions overwhelmed her. A warmth bloomed in her chest, spreading through her like sunlight, each corner of her heart filling with a joy she hadn’t dared to dream of. Her vision blurred, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek, her happiness spilling over in a way words couldn’t capture.

She searched his face, seeing his own hope and uncertainty mirrored in his gaze. He loved her—he truly did. All the quiet moments, the glances they’d shared, the protectiveness in his actions, all suddenly made sense, weaving into this one, perfect truth.

Unable to trust her voice, she nodded quickly, a soft smile trembling on her lips as her eyes sparkled. She didn’t need to say a word. The relief and joy on her face spoke for her, her expression telling him everything her heart had longed to say.

He smiled finally, like the sun rising over the hills that covered the Thanjai, the same she often crossed when she had to travel to Kodumbalur. She was finally his. Or maybe she had been his since long, but he was just stupid.

Kumaran suddenly jogged over to them, clearing his throat. "Hopefully I'm not interrupting you two?" Arulmozhi somehow pushed the frown on his face down, and he gave a tight smile. "Definitely not, Ilavarase." He smiled, his expressions tight.

"I'm glad, Komagane." He smiled and turned to Vanathi. "Amma is calling you. She says that it's time we take Mangai Akka to Mandapam, Akka." He said the last Akka with a certain pressure, staring at Arulmozhi.

It dawned on Arulmozhi suddenly that what he thought was between Vanathi and Kumaran was actually the Sibling Bond they had, considering they were really close and his neck flushed red. He was so stupid! His jealousy didn't let him see things other way!

Vanathi nodded with a smile, unaware of all this as she left for Chandravadhani. Arulmozhi watched her go, his eyes sharp as she turned her head coyly, and shyly smiled at him before scurrying away.

@vishnavishivaa @mahi-wayy @yehsahihai @xxdritaxx @houseofbreadpakoda @ramayantika @warnermeadowsgirl @mayakimayahai @chaliyaaa @celestesinsight @sambaridli @zeherili-ankhein @krsnaradhika @thegleamingmoon @ulaganayagi @voidsteffy @nidhi-writes @thecrazyinktrovert @koklknthiapsara

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

I’m an OG fan. I ship L/H but how ships are meant to be - your fave pairing, fun, fantasy, fandom activity, not something to discuss publicly much less with the celebs - but I never interacted much in fandom bc I disliked the bizarre obsession with ships being “real”. The “truth” of their sex/love lives is none of our business & was never their value to me. (i’d be much more interested in the truth about their friendships/coworker dynamics but we’ll never get it.) I drifted from the fandom when they went solo bc I saw how Harry was “Timberlake’ing”. No one seemed to see how calculated & ruthlessly ambitious he is, vapid, & fame obsessed. how he only befriends/dates rich, well-connected people. It’s refreshing to learn that blogs like yours exist - that people see him & see what he did to the other guys. Zayn, Louis, Liam - were all at times villainized and scapegoated while he’s treated like a naive princess who can do no wrong. His interviews are so pointless bc he never answers anything honestly. he’d never admit to being a cokehead who purposely deceived & fucked over the others to make sure he could launch his solo career without competition. Zayn tried to outmaneuver him but didn’t have the powerful team behind him & has too much integrity to ever be the kind of “star” Harry is. tbh I enjoy how much it irks harry that Zayn sees through him. It’s wild how sincere the others stayed, how they matured, how they have bigger priorities than money or fame. Harry mimicked Louis’ personality when they were younger, pretending he couldn’t wait to have kids & marry - when really he just wanted to be as rich, promiscuous, and famous as humanly possible. He bootlicks anyone in showbiz, so he has a glowing reputation in the industry - it’s laughable. “TPWK” unless it’s your bandmates who you can’t deign to acknowledge unless it benefits you - hosting SNL or winning an award? ok, mention the band so you get headlines. But like one of their promo posts or even follow them back on IG? heaven forbid, bc that won’t benefit him more than them. It shows his true character that he’s SO successful but still won’t be openly supportive or even seen with them. I don’t think he’s evil but I do think he’s lost to the industry… which is sad, bc there’s once a lot of sweetness there. His eyes have lost their sparkle; he traded it for “success”.

Hi anon,

I was reading this ask and nodding my head right along each sentence. A lot to unpack here, but mostly you’ve said everything I’ve tried to say. I’m not sure if anyone is listening, to be honest! Like you wrote, blogs who don’t worship Harry never become popular. So here I am talking to the air lol. Insanity.

I don’t think Harry is evil either. I think he realizes the trade-offs now, watching his ex-bandmates’ careers slowly build with intentions very different from his, their old ties fading to nothing except when tragedy yokes them back together. He has gazillions in wealth, industry kissing his feet, a lot of women (+ a few men) fantasizing about him, but nothing inside, the lights gone from his eyes years ago. It must feel awkward to stand next to his bandmates again?

Here’s the thing. I’m sure in every circumstance, forever for the foreseeable future, Louis is always going to be the bigger man and speak well of Harry. No matter how many times Louis refutes the idea of Larry, Louis has always said he’s proud of Harry, and I am sure he means it. 100%. No matter what Harry says or does, Louis considers him part of One Direction, his band, and that concept is sacrosanct to him. “We move as one.”

What Louis has in his heart is worth a million Manchester Co-ops. It is priceless. No one can take it away— no Kardashian money, no Rolling Stone cover, no Anna Wintour, no A-list actress or acting role. Nothing. What Louis has is the feeling of loyalty and unity that is the epitome of the song he wrote, Strong. “I don’t care, I’m not scared of love.” It’s not romantic love, at least not anymore, but what Louis describes in Only The Brave— the love that comes from the deepest pain, from uncomfortable truths, alienation, grief— broken beaks and dead birds— the love that requires moral courage. “Because love is only for the brave.” Louis earned it by going through fire, the love that endures because he chose to respect it, intentionally, over all the other things.

Last, Zayn’s intentionality is also transparent for those who open their eyes and see. I’m glad to see that Zayn is touring, and choosing to play the same smaller venues as Louis when he first started his tour. I’m also glad to see Louis communicating via social media. It’s not actual friendship, but a step! It means so much.

Louis and Zayn aren’t perfect people— far from it— but they chose to stay grounded and chose to preserve some part of their humanity. I know they haven’t always been their best selves. But who they are, especially who Louis is, is so endearing, and so inspiring.