#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together

[hella1975]

there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

[ageofevermore]

1-96

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

it’s a dual sliding door, so usually one sides open. but preferably, both doors are closed. 

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

sometimes in the summer, not often though. 

(3) Can You Whistle?

yes! 

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

well for some reason there’s a guy on my TV singing God Bless The USA

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

purple

(6) Relationship Status.

single because my favorite omegle guy won’t answer me 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

48F / 9C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

i woke up wishing i was still asleep

(9) How Many Followers?

835

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sun: Capricorn, Rising: Aries, Moon: Aquarius 

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

brown / hazel 

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

no

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

obviously, i’m not completely insane

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

whatever fucking book my english class assigned...

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

i literally only have a text book by me and opening it is triggering

(16) Favourite Anime?

i don’t watch anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom...about greys anatomy...but still my mom about christmas and my birthday. i cry alot, but i like REALLY cried about those two topics

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

chapstick, trauma, candles 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

it’s only 10am and i haven’t even thought about breakfast 

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

yes, and then my mom yells at me because i do nothing “subtly” and the entire car shakes

(21) Favourite Animal?

white siberian tigers, snow leopards, dolphins, and now elephants

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

unfortunately. i love gymnastics, but like, i’m not trying to watch men in toboggans and swim caps 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

anywhere between 12pm and 3am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

no, i never wear makeup because it makes me look more ugly

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

besides my friends i don’t really have a favorite blog, i stick to my circle and don’t venture very far 

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled. 

(28) What Makes You Happy?

i couldn’t tell you...

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

without, but i always start with it on. it never lasts more then two songs.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

a shade of purple from the crayola 200 pack

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

wii

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

hell mothering fucking year i do baby, lets take that train to hogwarts 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

its a friends pj crop, so black and white stripped with the central perks logo

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

save money 

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

my cup 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

stranger things ig

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

no, those assholes scare me, but i’ve grown + released them 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

um chile, i would follow my best friend off a cliff with no hesitation

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the fucking time 

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ITS MY FAVORITE FORM OF TRAVEL 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

the hannah montana movie

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

one direction 

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

yes 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

yes, but it takes me forever to fall asleep 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

yea, depends on the day and the level of scardy bitch i feel like being 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

i love both 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

hell yeah, let me feel the beat in my kidneys 

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve pumpkins 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

no tears left to cry by ag

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

fall

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

a churro + peppermint mocha frap

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

female (she/her)

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

iced coffee / sweet tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

yeah, i have environmental homework and US I homework and Algebra II homework

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

bruh, idk 

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

no, that shit’s never made 

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

jigglypuff 

(64) Favourite Social Media?

pintrest 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

they’re okay

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

no. i don’t miss thins very easily, i’m away from home for a week and i have no doubt that i could spend the rest of my life without going back. 

(67) Are You A Virgin?

yes sir

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

idk, some really thick and heavy in hydration set 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

sleep in my car, though both options scare me 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

i have a strained relationship with my bio dad, but unfortunately i still have to associate myself with him a few times a year 

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

black widow or spiderman 3, but i’m willing to see anything just take me back! 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i’ve never had an ex, but i do wish krystian would stop ignoring me. stupid scotland boys 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“friends dont lie”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green / brown 

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

i loved swinging, but a few years ago it started making me dizzy so i don’t swing very often anymore. but tire swings especially are my shit 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

chicken flavored ramen 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

yes 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yeah...because they’re dying and if i have the skills to save them...why wouldn’t i?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

honey, i do full virtual high school. we stan a pandemic (we don’t)

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

social media stalker is my middle name. not anymore though, i haven’t been asked to find a boy in a while 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

no. i hate it. anxiety city man. 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i don’t wear rings, but i really want to.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

woke up, watched stranger things, made ramen 

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

whatever i fall asleep in. 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

are beauty and skincare the same? because i don’t own much makeup. 

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

i used to be a night person. but this pandemic has hit hard with depression and i’ve become a stay in bed all day person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

2048 balls, among us, ball sort puzzle, bubble shooter, bubble sort, color roll 3D, drag n merge, fit and squeeze, hole.io, mario kart, match 3D, nonogram.com, paint the cube, roof rails, solitare, spit, stacky dash, stair run, timber run...

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

After my moms fiance died, I had a dream that he was able to come see my fifth grade play (he died just before it happened) and when we were walking out he got into the white car from fast and furious (we watched the movies together) and said he would see me again soon, then he drove off...like talk about weird 

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

rootbeer 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

i like a good clicking sound 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

sweats everyday all day 

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

like a fucking wreck 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

netflix 

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

i want a bunch of little symbols, and i think it would be cute if i got a T for my mom, but i can’t tell her that because she might think i’m going soft and exploit my show of affection (jfc why am i like this lmao)

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

colleen ballinger 

[snarkybluechristian]

Villainous: Reform School Chapter 5

The bear and the girl froze on top of the stairs as Flug held the door open for them to walk through.  

“Hello, Melanie de la Muerte, » Flug said.  

Melanie looked at Dr. Flug as she and 505 cautiously walked through the door and replied, “Hello."

"What have you been up to?" Dr. Flug asked.

“We were having a lot of fun running through the halls, so we decided to run up the stairs,” Melanie said excitedly flapping her wings and flying off 505’s back.  “That was so much fun!  Hanging out with you has been amazing, 505!  I can't believe I still get to stream with you!”

505 blushed and nodded vigorously to show that he felt the same way.  

Melanie literally flew into his arms and let him give her a bear hug as the flower on his head grew by a millimeter.

Flug sighed and said, “Be that as it may, must I remind you that this is isn't a vacation?  You are here so that I can observe your behavior.  So, if you’re going to stay, I'd like to lay out some ground rules.”

Melanie sighed as she dissolved her wings and let herself land on the ground.

"Fine," she said. "So, what are the rules?"

“So, before you think you can get away with any mischief, there are cameras all over the manor, so I can watch you with ease, even if you aren't in my presence,” Flug said gesturing his head towards the camera on the wall. “Lunch will be at 12pm, dinner will be at 6pm and breakfast will be at 8am.  You are to take your medication as your parents have told you to, and every two hours I will meet with you wherever you are in the manor to check on you.  Absolutely, under no circumstances are you to set foot outside of the manor. Oh, and 5.0.5 already knows this, but please stay out of Black Hat's office.  He hates being bothered.”

“Ok,” Melanie replied.  “Anything else?”

“Don't touch anything that's not yours,” Flug said.  “Don't go in the lab, unless I deem it necessary.  Oh, and PLEASE do not ask Dementia what she thinks of Black Hat.  Seriously.  Don't.”

“Uh...okay...Can we go back to frolicking now?” Melanie asked.

Flug sighed and said, “Fine.  I have other... ‘jobs’…to do anyway.”

“Yeah!” Melanie cheered as she unleashed her Reaper wings and landed on 505’s back.  

505 squealed joyfully as they started leaping away again until Dr. Flug remembered something important.

“Wait!” Flug yelled.

505's feet screeched to a halt.

“What is it?” Melanie asked in annoyance.

“Your parents looked at your medicine box and saw that you didn't take your meds even though they instructed you to and you take them on a daily basis,” Flug said.  “Is that true?”

Melanie sighed deeply.  There was no point in lying.

“Yes, it’s true,” Melanie said defensively.  “I didn’t feel like behaving for you guys, so I figured I should give you a taste of me at my worst.  Besides, it’s not like I owe Black Hat my best behavior.”

“But you do owe your parents your best behavior,” Flug replied. “They left you with us for the night for a reason.  So, I think it would be best if you took them.”

Melanie sighed and said, “Fine, I’ll take them tomorrow.”

“I mean today,” Flug said.  “It's only 10am.  They'll wear off before it's time for you to sleep.”

“But I don't even know where my room is...” Melanie complained.

“No worries,” Flug said pulling her medicine bottle out of his pocket along with a bottle of water.  “I have it right here.”

“Bauw?” 505 asked.

“She just needs to take that so it helps her focus,” Flug reassured.  “Don't worry. You can go back to playing in a little while.  Daddy just needs to help Melanie get settled in.”

Melanie reluctantly took the water bottle and the pill bottle and scowled at Flug as she took her medication.

“Thank you,” Flug said as Melanie dropped the pill bottle into her knapsack.  “Now, if you would follow me, I will show you where your room is.”

“Fine,” Melanie said following behind Flug and 505.  “It’s not like I could find it on my own.  This manor’s bigger than my school.”

“About that…” Flug said.

“What?” Melanie replied.

“You're going to be getting another type of schooling from this day forward.”

“What does that mean?”

“Your parents are going to pull you out of your current school.  And I suppose, they, along with myself, will be keeping a closer eye on you to make sure you don't run off to your ‘nun-ja’ friends.”

Melanie looked away sadly.  505 moaned in sympathy.

“And if I were to hazard a guess from previous experience with this sort of thing, I'd tell you that you're going to be re-educated at home, also known as homeschooling, and then sent to Black Hat's Institute if your behavior doesn't improve,” Flug added.

“What do you mean by ‘re-educated?’” Melanie asked suspiciously.

“They're going to re-teach your behavior,” Flug explained. “Mostly, they're going to make you lose your... uh, heroic habits.”

Melanie’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as she asked, “So, you’re going to brainwash me?”

Flug turned around on his heels and said, “Woah, Woah, slow down. This is just re-education. We don't brainwash anyone in this program…” before whispering, “...Unlessifitbecomesourlastresort."

“I heard that,” Melanie said.

“Riiight,” Flug said before he turned back around.  “Anyway, let me show you to your room.”

505 whined worriedly.

“Don’t worry, 505,” Flug said rubbing his son’s head.  “You can go back to playing with Melanie right after we settle her in.  Okay?”

505 moaned affirmatively as Flug turned around to lead them the rest of the way to Melanie’s bedroom.

After a few minutes of silence, Flug opened the door to Melanie’s room for the night.

The room was decorated as well as any guest room could be in that place.  

The walls were painted pale yellow-green.  The queen-sized bed’s headboard and comforter were white.  The bedside table and desk on opposite sides of the bed were also white as was the trashcan next to Melanie’s bed.  The darkest thing in that room was the wood floor.  

The bathroom attached to the room was decorated similarly.

The room’s most surprising future was the tinted window sitting right in front of the desk.  Melanie didn’t think Black Hat wanted his slaves to see anything of the outside world.

Melanie looked around the room being careful not to trip over the large duffel bag that her parents left behind for her.  She studied her surroundings silently until Flug interrupted her thoughts.

“You’re lucky,” Flug said.  “This room was just renovated.”

Melanie looked at Flug suspiciously and replied, "What did this room use to be?"

“Uh…” Flug said chuckling nervously.  “You don’t want to know.”

“That’s reassuring,” Melanie said dragging her duffel bag to the foot of her bed before sitting down.

“You should stick to the normal time your parents have you go to bed,” Flug said as 505 sat down next to Melanie on the bed.

“Ya hear that, 505?” Melanie blurted out without thinking.  “We can play videogames all night! Thank God it's summer!"

“Okay,” Flug said with a sigh.  “Just don't wander the halls in the middle of the night. That's when the boss likes to pull mischief on anyone who's still up.”

“Sweet!” Melanie said.  “Come on, 505!  Let's go!”

505 squealed joyfully in response.

“Wait another moment,” Flug said.

“What now?” Melanie complained.

Flug pulled a tracking device out of his pocket.

Melanie noticed it was the same device that Dementia wore around her ankle but was not sure what it was besides that.

“I'd like you to wear this around your ankle,” Flug said.  “That way, I can know where you are at all times, even if you decided to break out of here.”

“Do I have to?” Melanie whined as convincingly as she could. “It looks uncomfortable.  It could chafe or cut off my blood pressure when I have a growth spurt.”

“Trust me.  It’s well-suited for any person, even Dementia,” Flug responded adding an eye roll to that last bit.  “It’s even waterproof.  In time, you won't even notice it's there.”

Melanie sighed. She knew she was going to win this battle and that was just fine.  She could make it malfunction at will, but Dr. Flug didn't need to know that and wouldn't worry about that if she protested its presence.

Dr. Flug crouched on the ground in front of the bed and put the device around Melanie’s ankle.

“Now, I know you can cause technology to malfunction at will, but this device has been updated to send us a signal and a notification of its last known location the moment it malfunctions,” Flug said much to Melanie’s surprise.

Melanie looked at him skeptically.

“Don’t believe me?” Flug asked.  “Why don't you test it?”

Melanie telepathically sent a shockwave through every electronic device in the room.  The device opened and fell on the floor while a few sparks flashed from it.  

Sure enough, Flug got the notification on his phone.

“Ta-da!” Flug said proudly as he picked up the device to make the quick necessary repairs.  “How do you like them apples?”

Melanie stared blankly at the doctor in disbelief as he made his repairs and replaced the device back around her left ankle.  

“Well, I guess now you can go play with 505,” Flug said happily getting off the floor and heading to the door.  “Just remember to follow all the rules and you’ll be fine.”

Flug had just exited the room and shut the door behind him when he received a message on his device from Black Hat asking him to come to his office.  He quickly replied to the message and made his way to his boss’s office.

As soon as she heard Dr. Flug walk away, Melanie laid on her bed and proceeded to sulk.

Noticing her sadness, 505 rested his head on Melanie's belly to help her feel better.

Melanie smiled and gave the bear another hug around his neck while he scooped her up in his arms and gave her a hug back.

[piratepassion]

It was my birthday, 12/12 – BIG 35!  I told joel I want a special birthday this year, a full day to myself to relax, drink wine, bake, have a bath, watch movies.  I was going to jam pack that day with ME TIME!

10am – I was baking scones when the phone rang.  Ella’s school number popped up on the screen.  I hate to admit it but inwardly I groaned… I had a full day planned!! “Ella’s had a fall and chipped a tooth” I laughed, thinking thats not so bad!  he’s such a clutz!  I actually asked if she could finish the day – being the second last week of school they always do such fun things! The voice on the phone said no, and you’d better book her in to the dentist asap. I called around, Of course I couldn’t get her into a dentist on short notice.  No biggie I thought we’ll work it out later. I jumped in the car and off I went to pick ella up.  no handbag, no water bottle, (I usually dont leave home without it) just my wallet and my phone, I told Joel I’d be back in an hour (Ella’s school is 40ks away, about half hours drive)  gave Reece a wave and off I went on what would turn out to be one of the worst days ever.

Half way there I get another call to meet them at the district hospital…  Ok? Thinking thats weird – but still not too worried. I walk in to reception, the receptionist explains that they got the tooth back in… “WHAT?!” It was serious.  she’d knocked her tooth out and damaged the other one.  I walk in to her room, she looked….  AWFUL! blood all down her front, half a tooth jutting out at an awkward angle and the other one hlaf gone.  😢 Within 5 minutes the tooth fell out again and I popped it in the milk they had ready.

The dentist came in and told me they had called ahead to royal melbourne dental hospital (about 3 hours drive away) and we have to leave right away.  I mentioned going home (which is the oposite direction) to pack a few things, change of clothes etc and was told No, it’s really important I get there asap – to hopefully save the tooth!!  I can’t fault them, they’d organised for Ella to be seen as soon as we got there, printed a map where the nearest parking was (about a 10 minute walk from the hospital) one lady even went to her house to get Ella a change of clothes, as her uniform was wet and bloody.  So off we went! BIRTHDAY ROAD TRIP! (I guess?😂)

So we get a park, and of course Melbourne is a lot colder than home, I’m in shorts and a singlet, Ella in a summer dress, and All I had was her swim bag to carry stuff in (Including the container of milk holding her tooth)  the 10 minute walk turned into a 20 minute walk with ella, as she was tired, shivering and really not happy.  I was practically dragging her – and even carried her for as long as my back could take it.  I would have given anything for her wheelchair, and a jumper for her.  Nearly in tears myself I was working out how much cash I had on me, and seriously contemplated asking a stranger to literally buy the jumper off their back for her (of course being melbourne, and me being very country, I was also concerned about getting stabbed so I didnt do that lol)

Once at the dental hostpital I gave the refferal letter to the receptionist, told her they were expecting us and explained what was going on. she told me to take a seat and wait, and I did.   and waited, and waited.  Wrapping Ella in her damp towel (because that was all I had) She was clearly going into shock – shivering and crying.  We waited. After the first 2 hours I went and asked how much longer. “not long”

We Waited.

After another 2 hours later I complained, almost in tears, face red, shaking as I hadn’t eaten all day and I was just so bloody over everything at this point.  Different receptionist this time, she really went to bat for me, went and made sure we’d be next, was disgusted that we had waited so long, she got me the forms to make a formal complaint – and an hour after all that, sh even stopped someone else from going in as we were supposted to be next!

finally we went in – the dentist took one look at ella and said we needed to go to the royal childrens hospital.  I think I broke a little inside at this point.  It was 8pm by this stage, absolutly freezing outide at this point and getting dark.

40 minutes it took for me to get Ella back to the car.  She was crying the whole way and I tell you I wasn’t far off sitting in my gutter and doing the same!!

We Drove to the childrens (not far thankfully) Found a park straight away and in we went!  Got seen by the intake nurse in about an hour, then saw the dentist on call about an hour after that.

This detist was AMAZING! She explained that they could put her under – fix the teeth and reimplant the one that was out, they’ll put a brace on to keep it place until it fuses to the bone – but unfortuntly the tooth is dead, so it’s not a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’ she looses that tooth again.  I sign the paperwork, surgury is booked for the following day.

I drove to my grandma’s (luckily I have family in melbourne otherwise I dont know what I would have done!) She had some pj’s for Ella, I got her into bed and then drove to Kmart to pick up a few essencials (toothbrush, deoderant, change of clothes for both of us)

The next day could not have gone better! I got to see some family I hadn’t seen in a while – traffic back to the hospital was a dream and Ella got called in almost straight away.  Ella’s generally terrified of the face masks but We did lots of practicing ‘blowing up balloons’ and decorating the mask with stickers, plus a bit of bribary with a new hat i got her from kmart the night before – she finally got it on her face.

The chat with the dental surgeon beforehand while keeping Ella calm and entertained was hard – unfortunately the fact of the matter is the tooth won’t take. She said I had two options, she could go ahead and replace the tooth today, so the root will fuse to the bone. This means we’ll need to go back in two weeks for review, then she’ll need to be put under a general again to get the braces taken off, and then under again for a root canal, and then again after the root fuses to the bone when they’ll cut her tooth off at the gum and screw in a fake one, and As always there’s risks every time she gets put under. The other option would be to clean it up, and leave a gap – which has its own problems, the other teeth moving, trouble eating, infection etc In the end I decided to get it put back in – still not sure if I made the right call! 😬 It’s so hard to make a huge decision like that in the moment – and on very little sleep! She woke up pretty sore and upset, which is to be expected – but the braces looked adorable and she got a certificate for being so brave!

Home the next day with an appointment in two weeks to check and possibly get the braces off.  On the plus side since we actually knew about the next trip we made a family holiday of it, spent christmas with my family from melbourne, went to the zoo and got her braces off all in the same trip. (we even took our dog Lucy 😁)

So basically thats where we’re at now.  Ella needs to be careful with her teeth, semi restricted diet (no apples, buiskuits, anything crunchy) and eventually they will need to be cut off at the root and fake ones drilled in, and hope to jebus they don’t fall out (or get knocked out🤦‍♀️ ) before then! 

  All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth! It was my birthday, 12/12 - BIG 35!  I told joel I want a special birthday this year, a full day to myself to relax, drink wine, bake, have a bath, watch movies. 

[louisetakesphotos]

Day 3 - Ghermu to Tal. Another 12km day. This is based on the main trek, most days we would take alternate routes which would add an hour or two on, so how long we ACTUALLY walked is undecided. We’ll assume it was far more each day, let’s say 57kms? Another slow start to the day. I had this notion that I was going to be this super organised hiker, be up early every morning and hiking by 7am. But lets be honest, is that really the Louise we all know and love? We all aimed to leave at 7, but in reality we ended up meeting a fellow trekker and chatting till about 10am. Time to meet Viktor, a swedish solo trekker. Adding a new country to our universal group. The main thing you should know about Viktor is that he is a fast trekker. We’ll come back to this over the next few days. He’d injured his leg the previous day, so he was on a forced rest stop and was going to be a day behind us. As we said goodbye we were all a little sad because he was a pretty cool guy and we assumed we wouldn’t see him again, as he’d stay a day behind us. PLUS he was heading off on a few side treks which were going to add a solid 5 hours extra onto his hiking day. I want you all to remember this information for the future posts. Now the first classic Lou failure occurs. I’d made sure to get the really important trekking items in Australia to make sure they were good quality. I sourced some pretty great, cheap second hand boots. They were a bit older but seemed to be in good nick. Alas the glue holding the shoes together was not in such good nick. The entire sole was coming off  both of my boots. Exactly what you want to occur on day 3 of an intense mountainous hike which is going to send you up into the snow. I ran around town finding some superglue to hold it on until I could make it to the next major town Chame, 41km’s away. 4 packets later and my soles seemed to be holding on. Nervous about whether the glue would hold, we FINALLY set off. Today was harder to hike but sooo much more beautiful. We’d hike up and up and up. Step after step after step, reach the top, admire the view and then straight back down. Over and over again for 7 hours. The town of Tal is 1700m above sea level, which meant we had an ascent of 650m, but in reality we probably ascended several kilometres. Luckily the altitude problems only start kicking in by 3000m or so. We learnt our lesson from the day before and decided to avoid lunch. I survived a 7 hour day of hiking on a hearty breakfast and some bananas to keep me going. It may sound crazy but it’s actually way better, PLUS! MY BOD LOOKS AMAZING POST HIKE! (Well it did. When you finish hiking your body is still in exercise mode and you CAN’T STOP EATING! You try, you physically chain yourself to your bed, but your stomach sneaks out of your body, unlocks the chains, drags you down the street and force-feeds you) Each day the terrain changes so much, you would think that 2 weeks of hiking in a 200km radius the sights would be relatively similar. You’d get used to them. But no. The annapurna circuit takes you on a tour of the entire world. Day 1 was classic asia, busy roads, loud towns and then hiking next to a river surrounded by jungle. Day 2 we went full tropical, banana farms, rice fields and finally started hitting the mountains. Day 3 we hit New Zealand (or at least what I imagine it will look like) The cheapest way to travel the world, just come to the annapurna circuit, it’s a cheap flight from Perth and then you can get by on $20 a day. As i said today was tough, the rain set in in hour 6, we rounded a corner and knew we were getting close, the first hard day was almost over. My shoulders where happy, my camera gear was really weighing me down. Plus I’d finally switched to my zoom lens, it’s a 1.5kg lens, 20cm long. So when i carry my camera around my neck this lens hangs down and whacks into my leg with each step. By the end of the day my legs where covered in bruises. “We’re close guys” Bob shouted as Erica and myself slowly rounded the corner. “But first we have to climb that” our gaze followed his finger as he pointed below us. We had to descend a few hundred meters and THEN ascend probably another 400. The first set of the many switchbacks to come. When it’s so steep you hike back and forth, back and forth on switchbacks so you can actually ascend without falling down the mountain. The rain had set in, i had a quick handful of chickpeas to give my legs some much needed energy and away we went. One foot in front of the other, trying to navigate slippery rocks. At points literally climbing up boulders. This ascent had the added bonus of some incredibly itchy plants all along the path. I unfortunately stepped back into one and the prickles went straight through my pants into my butt. For all those who know me well, they know this is a pretty standard practice of mine (you may remember the incident with my foot and a cactus). Apparently I attract prickles into my more tender body parts. So up we kept hiking now trying to slyly scratch my butt without the other trekkers noticing. After what felt like a lifetime, it finally evened out, one of my fellow hikers was further ahead and a shout went up as they reached a view point of the town. “Louise you are really going to like this” They know me so well already. I love becoming that person in a group. Sure enough I plodded up, standing under a stone Kani (an archway marking the entrance to a new town) and looked out at this beautiful valley nestled in amongst the mountains with a river snaking through. It was at this moment I felt like I was staring at a vista from New Zealand. It wasn’t just the thought of seeing such a beautiful town, but also the knowledge that our first hectic day of hiking was almost at an end. When I finally put my bag down in our guesthouse I felt like i’d forgotten how to walk properly. Without the weight I thought my foot was going to miss the ground and I was going to float up into the sky. I peeked out of my window and saw another snow capped mountain, still a fair way in the distance but slowly getting closer. Another night of dahl baht, another evening of glorious chats, another day of beautiful views. What even is life.

[heartlikethunder]

The Art of Healing - My Personal Initiatives to Face my Depression

I’m 22 and I have severe clinical depression as a result of many things including poor relations with my parents, school, and of course, the current political climate. I’m a pre-med and I have lots of things I want to accomplish. All of my relationships around me are becoming toxic because I keep poisoning them. And most importantly, I don’t like the person I’m starting to become. I don’t want to discuss in too much detail as to what has brought me to this point in my life, but I do want to talk about a few initiatives I’ve taken to bring me to a happier place. 

A little bit about me briefly – I graduate from college with a BS in Microbiology. I don’t have a job right now because I’m taking some time off to (try) studying for the MCAT. I live at home with my parents and used to commute from my house to school. I didn’t get my license until last year – I was 21 – and even then my mom continued to drive me to and from places. Finally I don’t have many friends. Most of the people I have met are in relationships and thus their significant other is all they need or they try to push them onto their friends as well or they are interested in drinking and partying – again, not of my interest. I’ve been forced into an environment which is very isolated from the rest of the world. I spend a lot of my time in my room with little to no conversation with anyone. I’m lonely. And my goals are so far away I don’t feel like I’ve gotten closer to any of them. 

Hence, I’ve started a few initiatives to help me overcome this moment in my life:

Drinking a lot of water. Water is a great healing agent and I drink many cups throughout the day – it completely revitalizes me. Avoid juice and sugary/oily foods. Keep things light and clean. Eat smaller portion sizes too to not feel “overstuffed,” which will help you to become more active and it’s easier to move around with none of that food slowing you down or jostling around in your belly. 

Sleeping on time. Sleep is the foundation to easing MANY mental health related diseases or illnesses. Sleep by 10PM and try to wake up around 9AM. Don’t forget to turn you phone on silent. I have an amazing Do Not Disturb feature on my iPhone which I can set up to activate automatically during a time frame. For me I have it turn on at 7PM and shut off around 10AM/11AM. I have a really hard time going to bed because I keep thinking that I didn’t do anything today, I didn’t accomplish anything, and I dread what tomorrow will bring. You need to stop this. Some of your worst thoughts come in the darkest hours of the day. Plus the next morning when I wake up my head is pounding and aching and my eyes are puffy, sore, and bloodshot. I can barely sit straight I’m so exhausted and I become very sluggish. 

PURGE. I have some much stuff I’ve accumulated that it’s literally falling all over me, all around me. My drawers are overstuffed, my craft supplies are spread out over 3 rooms, I have so many books in our “extra room,” etc. Minimalism can be very freeing and you can focus on items that you really love. I try to take the time every couple of days to purge items that I no longer love nor enjoy. I also try to organize everything so it has a proper space (a LOT of it is very unorganized) that is easy to get to and easy to put back and I try to clean my room/house. I’m definitely a stress cleaner and I love the look and smell of a clean living space. 

There is a reason that your mental health has started to suffer. This can be any memory or moment in your life. It’s important for you to find those memories, address them, and start picking them apart in a positive light so you can heal. One of the things I like to do when I’m emotionally overwhelmed by something in my life is talk to myself about it and my feelings or to write down my feelings. I just leave it on my PC or in my notebook and every once in a while I will come across it and I’ll snort at just how silly I was for being so upset about something that really wasn’t that big of a deal. You can also write letters to someone else (maybe someone you feel that has wronged you or that you have wronged to help you move on). If you don’t feel comfortable talking to yourself you can also discuss your problems with a friend or a mentor (like a therapist or counselor). However, I would tread lightly with sharing with friends, because you’ll find that many of them don’t know how to “handle” your depression or some of them will leverage that information against you. They might not understand what you’re saying and they might also give you some very unhelpful advice. I’m not saying all people are like that – there are those who are better than that and their blood runs as thick as yours, but you have to be careful. You’re already in a fragile state – don’t let someone else break you into more. 

I like to keep my mind busy. When I read or learn something new my brain comes alive. I like to study and learn new science, I really love to read but lately have not had the time (I’m trying to put all my energy towards MCAT studying but after I finish studying I do have a list of books I plan on reading), and I read a lot of fanfiction and pick apart the stories. I like to look at the different skills the author used to get their point across. The stories are usually shorter than a full length novel. And overall they’re intriguing and fun. Personally I read mostly Harry Potter fics (especially Drarry), but I have also read some really incredible stories in other fandoms such as Lord of the Rings, Teen Wolf (Sterek) Transformers, Teen Titans, BBC Sherlock, The Hobbit, etc. Let me know if you’d like me to share a few fic recs. Also manga – some of it is very beautiful and engaging. You can easily find translations online and flip through a couple of chapters to unwind while looking at the art. 

Avoid a lot of TV. I know that a lot of my recent changes and dullness has come from all the TV rotting my brain. I’m going to lump in movies, anime, and Youtube into this as well. TV now a days is complete garbage. There is such terrible acting (while I do participate in the Teen Wolf fandom, I absolutely hate the actual TV show. There are many great actors but I don’t feel like the writing of the series gives them a chance to really blossom. My favorite is Dylan O’brien as Stiles, but lately as he has picked up new projects, I’ve noticed a change in his on-screen TV performance), horrifying plots WITH SO MANY PLOT HOLES, and the writing is just bad with multiple innuendos and profanities thrown in to make it more modern and cool. I’m also tired of the love triangles (The Shannara Chronicles made me want to cry), the poor representation of people of color, lack of depth and character development, etc. TV is just complete shit. And there are WAAAAY too many seasons of shows that should have been put to rest. I’ve mostly enjoyed Shameless (lots of great plots and subplots with tons of great character development) though that has started to wane a bit as I find some of the characters’ stories dragging and How to Get Away with Murder. I’ll occasionally watch an episode of another show here or there, but honestly, it’s all garbage. Instead take that time to read or do something else. I like movies – I mostly watch Disney – but I have noticed that when I’m bored and upset I just sit there eating and rewatching old films. While there isn’t anything wrong with that, doing that every day is going to eat away at your mental health. I feel the same way I do about anime as I do about TV shows. A lot of it is empty and honestly the classics were so much better like Fruits Basket. Finally, YouTube is an amazing community. There is so much to learn and discover on this platform. I follow a lot of channels including cooking, baking, gardening, fashion, beauty, etc. I also follow a lot of fashion/beauty bloggers. Here’s my opinion – don’t do it. A lot of them treat YouTube and their blogs as businesses. They get sent a lot of stuff for free. They’re always trying new stuff. That is their job. And realistically speaking, you cannot go out every time they rave about a new product, just because they deem it to be the best thing on the planet when you’re still in the middle of finishing your current one or already have a significant collection. Don’t do it. Also, stop watching them. They's a lot of rambling and talking about nonsense for the most part. A lot of them have very empty conversations and chatter that it’s tough to follow. Makeup doesn’t even look that great on me, and I’d never drop $100 on some silly foundation - I certainly don’t need to be watching 10 different videos on how to apply eyeshadow. I understand for many people they watch or continue to watch because it’s fun and they enjoy it. And if that is you then great, go for it – in moderation of course. However, I will say, always keep it in the back of your mind that eventually this might turn into an obsession if day in and day out this is all you’re “seeing.” Youtubers can really twist your views of the real world. I for one can personally attest to that. I have a very strong and wise head on my shoulders. I can pick up discreet social cues/messages hidden in the media and scoff at them - I’m alert and observant. But when I watch Youtubers and see many of them showcasing the same things and lifestyles repetitively, I immediately begin to think this is the way it is for many if not all girls on the planet. Suddenly spending $1000 on a Chanel bag is normal – a necessity to blossom into womanhood. Don’t forget, there are people out there scraping to make ends meet. There are plenty, if not MORE, people in the world that are living comfortable lifestyles not filled with materialistic things and spending their money wisely. Just be smart and don’t let their channels twist your perception of the world. If anyone is interested I’ll be happy to share some of the blogs I follow for outfit inspirations (I mostly just glance at the pics and never am overly obsessed with getting the same things they have on – other than Extrapetitie.com because her picks are wonderful and reasonably priced). I also find less Youtube, the less shopping I do, and less of purchasing frivolous things. On the same note when you do go shopping, tune into your inner feelings and ask yourself is this something you need and then ask yourself if you really want it. Don’t settle. Pick things that you look great in and boost your self esteem. I’m overweight and I’m also short. Aside from my stomach sticking out and having thick thighs, I also have very thick upper arms. A lot of stuff that might look great on my sister and mother (who are both a lot taller and thinner), look completely terrible on me. I always give in and get them in the end because my mother emotionally blackmails me into it, but I don’t enjoy wearing them and they make me feel like shit. I’ve recently acquired a few new pieces that I think are much better suited for myself and will be wearing those from now on. If you dress well, and you feel good in what you’re wearing, and if you look good, you’ll feel good. 

Take walks – nature can unwind you. I walk a round around my neighborhood. I think all together it is roughly 1.2 miles? There is also a very small park with a swingset in the middle that I like to stop at and swing away till my heart is content. This is when I listen to the new music I’ve discovered and come up with story ideas. Try to hit the gym. Sweat out the negativity in your life and I promise you, not only will your brain feel better, but you’ll physically look and feel a lot better too. Just get out of the house. This is a bit trickier for me because of my poor driving skills and my parents don’t let me go out much. When I do go out it’s mostly for groceries. I don’t enjoy eating out that much, but going out to eat a small something at a restaurant can be a very relaxing experience. Don’t feel like you HAVE to go with someone or that you have HAVE to eat a heavy/full meal. A lot of restaurants also have great rewards programs or newsletters you can sign up for to help you save on costs if you are in a financial pinch. Olive Garden always seems to be bringing around their famous pasta deal and fast food places such as Baskin Robbins have great promotions such as on the 31st of the month, each scoop of ice cream is $1.31. It’s not a bad deal for a casual outing to treat yo self and freshen up. The general consensus is to take care of yourself and relax. Something I do on my personal time is give myself a skincare treatment at night - a lovely facial with a facial massage, masks, etc. 

I love to write but I haven’t written in forever and I don’t have a lot of unique ideas/prompts. I do have one novelesque fanfic idea that I’m really excited and crazy about. I’m slowly and diligently writing it, but I still want to keep improving my writing and brush up on my writing skills during the in between. I suggest finding a fandom that you love – and if you can’t I highly recommend the Harry Potter fandom, because it’s huge and there are so many more opportunities here than other fandoms in my personal opinion – and write prompts and challenges. There are a ton of communities dedicated to prompts, challenges, gift exchanges, fic fests, etc. If you’re interested let me know – I have a huge list of some popular Harry Potter fests and such. Also, join and follow users who are active in the fandom as they too will sometimes offer opportunities to join networks or challenges they have created. There is a user who has created a drarry valentine’s fic exchange which is so cute and I recently started nooreva’s trope bingo for femslash february.  I’ve also claimed a fic prompt from HP kink fest. They’re not too time sensitive, and there is enough direction to help me from feeling lost, but still enough room for creativity to explore my writing. Let me know if you’d like any writing advice as well. I’m thinking of trying to get back into poetry while I’m here. 

I picked up some “pen pals.” It’s very new to me and I’m incredibly nervous. Snailmail revolution is huge right now, where people all over the world send attractive letters to one another and with it small goodies such as stickers, stationary, etc. I found a few people through Tumblr and Instagram for now. I have no idea how this is going to go because I don’t have money to be buying cute stationary and gifts – I’m already going to be spending a decent bit on stamps because I have picked up A LOT of pen pals to keep me busy – but I’m trying to keep on a positive note. It’s honestly very fun to get personal mail and to peek in and see all the lovely things people might have sent. I have written one letter so far and I did a lot of doodling, homemade stickers, and printing. I’ll keep you all posted on my experience as other letters start to come in. There is also a group that is focused on craftier snailmail that I’m a member of. It’s called pretty postal swap and I LOVE it. They have a theme every month and you exchange letters with other members based on that theme. Of course the goal is to be crafty so it’s a bit of a mix of scrapbooking and cardmaking. It’s a lot of fun. Some of the pics I have seen do appear to be a bit more upscale than what I can commit to right now, but I’m hoping it will go well. This is my first month trying it and the theme is an icy cold snowy envelope, with a warm and cozy card inside. I decided to create a simple snowy backdrop on my envelope with a shadow of a row of houses. For the cozy interior I made a homemade card with a sketch of an image on the front that I colored with colored pencils, I printed out some journaling cards of polar bears and some cute sweater designs, I printed some teacups which I colored with colored pencils and made them into homemade stickers which I placed into envelopes made from this gorgeous teal birdie wrapping paper, I’m going to be throwing in a bag of berry tea, and finally, I made a simple tag of a polar bear wearing a sweater. The final result is obviously homemade and I’m not sure what the group is going to think of it, but I have my fingers crossed and I put in a lot of time and effort into my final product. I also am a huge lover of scrapbooking and cardmaking, and while I do get a hefty fix of it via my snailmail art, there are tons of swaps and swap groups you can join as well. You can swap pocket letters, tags, tag books, embellishments, etc. I applied to join one but I cannot seem to recall the name or find the original sign up page. I believe they will be emailing me to confirm if I’ve been accepted but not sure about this one yet. If you’re curious to see what snailmailrevolution is I highly suggest looking up the #snailmailrevolution on instragram. If anyone wants to check out some youtube videos on the idea and what some of the packages look like in greater depth, let me know and I can share some links.

Finally I’ve also really gotten into doodling. I’m a terrible artist – my proportions are all over the place, but I’ve found myself enjoying following along with youtube doodlers and then sitting down and coloring them in. I’ve done quite a few already for my pen pal letters and would be happy to share some of the channels I follow for help and inspiration. To help me explore this new interest, I’ve joined the #doodlewithus challenge on instagram hosted by @alexandra_plans and @christina77star. Basically every month there is a daily challenge with an overall theme of what you should try to draw that day. For February the theme is space and every day we will be drawing a specific planet, space ships, rockets, etc. it’s so lovely and takes hardly any time. I highly recommend joining in the fun.

Volunteer - give your time to someone else. Focus on becoming humble. Look at the life people are living around you and learn to appreciate what you have. I personally work at a nonprofit clinic on some Sundays where I work in patient discharge in filing and scanning in patient records into the charting software. Personally I would prefer something more rewarding, but it’s very flexible and such an easy commitment. Turn your negatives in to positives. Give daily affirmations a try. I tried it myself but it was a little awkward and uncomfortable giving myself pep talks. However it is still a very powerful tool and I would recommend it. You could also try daily thanks and make a list of what you’re thankful for which is something a little more up my alley. 

So those are some new things I’m going to be trying out. I’ll give you an update in a few weeks after getting some responses and testing things out. It seems like a lot of stuff and in hindsight it is, but I think this is a great way to fill in some of those quiet hours in between my studying. This is by no means a definitive list. There are clearly some things I need to be work on or have in my life that I haven’t addressed in my list such as actual in person human contact, but it’s just not possible for me at this time. I also know a lot of people will redirect my in getting a job, but the MCAT is a beast, and if I can have the time to study for it distraction free and comfortably, with only that exam in mind, I’ll gladly take it. Some of these things might not work for you at all, this will not CURE you by any means, but it’s a start and hopefully will give you some new ideas to try and to expand your horizon. In the future I would like to get back into watercoloring, take swimming lessons and learn to properly swim (I finished up to level 4 or 5 – I stopped just short of the actual swimming part because I had trouble keeping my form), try a pottery class (I took a one day workshop at my school and it was amazing and frustrating. I would really love to go back and learn how to throw on the wheel properly), and maybe join a bookclub.