#like most of these listings i look at and cant imagine myself happy in

[anothertimdrakestan]

Batboys Toxic Traits Headcanons

because no one is perfect, i wanted to get a little dirty with it and imagine what the boys are like when they're a little... too obsessed with you.

tw for romanticizing possessive, obsessive, jealous, aggressive actions haha xoxo

Jason Todd

- scary dog privileges wherever you go with jace, but he is ALL bite with one and only one warning bark.

- when a hand that isn't his brushes your thigh in a club, fingers get broken. when a cat caller thinks his compliment just has to be said to you, he most likely won't be able to speak again for weeks. And god forbid any villain try to use you as bait for jason, they've all learned if they value their life to never touch you. He's all for justice not vengeance until anyone tries to mess with you, then those words always get mixed up in his head.

- sometimes you cant even complain about people, they end up getting randomly harassed by a certain someone until they just move town

- jason is adamant as long as he's alive there won't be a problem of yours he can't solve with a little violence

- your biggest problem is that he struggles to let you have guy friends, obviously the ones he knows especially fellow heroes are more than fine, but he's been known to burst blood vessels when he sees you close and person with men he's never met

- he's proud of it too: "let another man try and touch y/n, it's been a slow night for me." or "i just don't get why you need him as a friend when you have me, myself, and i"

Tim Drake

- tim gets... obsessive.

- he tends to fall hard but with you he brought the house down with him

- before you were officially his he had hacked every security camera in the city to have eyes on you at any given moment

- both for your safety and his own maniacal flirting strategy: you admire shoes but frown at the price tag? tim's buying you the matching bag to go with the shoes he bought the second you looked at them.

- before you knew how insanely in love with you he was, you truly thought he was a mind reader

- well he kind of was, seeing as he scrolled through your search history every night to know which talking points to bring up with you

- once you finally fell for him and set some stronger boundaries he still occasionally found himself double checking your location when you weren't by his side, or lazily purchasing every item on your pinterest boards, he just can't help but dote on you

Damian Wayne

- damian doesn't really get close to people, but as always you were his exception

- however, this means his list of people to hang out with is extremely short, and he saw no problem in wanting to be around you wherever you went whenever he could

- like a kind of tall, dark, and brooding puppy, he quietly followed you everywhere, and when you strictly told him he couldn't follow along, you always noticed a perched shadow just a few building away

- eventually you got used to rolling over to damian coolly watching you sleep or patiently waiting to pick you up from your classes/job, happy just to walk you to your car

- just like jason, damian had a brutal and heartless style of problem-solving when it came to anyone giving you trouble

- too often you found yourself standing in between his rage a massive mistake whether it was nearly assaulting a friend of yours who tried to ask you out or threatening to buy out your entire workplace when you didn't get the promotion you wanted

- forever cooling his rage was worth having his adoration though, and you were happy to have your overbearing shadow follow you throughout your days

Dick Grayson

- for such a bubbly leader, dick often struggled with communication

- always used to bearing his problems alone youd spent too many nights tracking down your own boyfriend only to beg him to tell you what's wrong

- he never understood that you didn't always want to solve his problems, but hold his sadness or hurt with him

- it was the worst when he was upset with you, whether it was jealously or insecurity that crept into his mind

- he'd take off in a rush hoping you wouldn't notice but you always did, either hunting him down or simply waiting with open arms for him to come home

- it would take years to teach your traveling-circus-raised boyfriend that you weren't going anywhere, ever.

- but, this made for many heartfelt nights where he held you and promised you the world, as if you'd opened him up in a way no one else could, pulling forward the most magical and loving side of your sweet boy

[sabine-smitten-obviously]

and now i have to find myself a tower in a forest near a wall ...

... and look for a black, dark sorcerer !

You love fairy tales? You love Good Omens? You loved Aziraphale and Crowley in medieval clothes? Then you will love this not so little fanfic i dearly recommend to you!

Villainous by @ineffablepenguin

What it is about:

Once Upon A Time…

There was a red-haired sorcerer who lived alone in a high tower, and a blond prince who lived in a palace full of people. And they were both of them desperately lonely.

The Kingdoms of Empyrion and the Sorcerers of Apollyon have hated each other for hundreds of years, ever since the Great War. They do not interact, other than to occasionally try to kill one another. And they certainly do not make friends.

Crow is an exhausted sorcerer who just wants everyone to leave him the hell alone: for the Sorcerer’s Council to stop harassing him to live up to his potential, and for wannabe Empyrion Heroes to stop attacking his tower to try and kill him. Until one day when he meets Prince Azra of the High Fells, who doesn’t behave anything like he’s supposed to…

Part fairy tale, part fantasy, all love story. There’s magic, and grand romantic gestures, and Heroes and a handsome Prince, and a Villain. There are even some wild heroics, though not necessarily from who you would expect. At its core it’s simply about two (relatively) sane people living in a mad world who find each other.

What i love about it:

🫅🏼 I mean - fairytales? And a lot of them? I found it very nice to guess all the tales when stumbling upon a hint. Nice touch: in the epilogue there is a list of all the fairytales which have kind of flown into this fanfic and i am quite proud that i only missed 1 i actually know (and of course those i dont know).

👑 This story is RICH - and i mean really rich. It goes into details over everything and sometimes it reminded me of books written bei Hermann Hesse because of all the little things that kept coming and being mentioned. On my e-reader it was 566 pages! And yes, it took them about 200 pages for their first kiss 😅 That said, its always drawing a picture and reading the story is kind of seeing in your imagination. Obviously nothing is ineffable for @ineffablepenguin 😉

💪 The action scenes: oh my, its like a Schwarzenegger-movie, you cant stop reading, its fast, its furiuos ... oh, thats another movie, ngk.

🩷 The character development: both of our beloved angels start out being insecure of their roles, their place and their worth. But - this is the first fanfic i ever read, where both of them get to be BAMF !!!!

🩷 The plot: i love being suprised - i mean we do know a lot already, diving into a GO-fanfic with the tag "happy ending", right? So there were some really interesting turns and sometimes i wondered "ok, just how will this play out? How will the author get to unknot THIS?" And i have to admit, sometimes i really didn't see it coming. Very nice!

🩷 The healing: i dont know if it was on purpose or the author just felt like our ineffables needed to hear and think stuff, but actually the way their characters develop and how they help each other with it, what they are thinking etc ... reminded me a lot of trauma-therapy. So as one of those few (ähem) people who really spiraled after the big 15 of S2, this was such a nice feeling.

💫 the epilogue - this story doesnt end at happily ever after. Instead we get to know, how they make a living for themselves and sneak a little into their daily lifes. I truly appreciate that, its a nice way of comforting the Reader out of the story.

This wonderful art is from @pinkpiggy93! 🩷

Most beloved quote:

"And i love you too, my dear," he said firmly. "You are so very easy to love."

And isnt this quite a sentence, we all need to hear?

So if you are into good omens, fairytales, long fanfics to really dive in to for several hundred pages, some surprises and of course a happy ending - this is quite the story for you.

🩷🤗

Reading is not a hobby, its an attitude.

[artsninspo]

"QUALITY TIME'

“QUALITY TIME”

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Another original concept, hope you enjoy it.

WORD COUNT: 1.4K

PAIRING: Jamie (Topboy) X Reader

SUMMARY: Jamie’s out of the game and wife wants to spend the day on the road with him. A fluffy sweet and sultry imagine.

WARNINGS: Adult themes and mentions of sex & implied acts.

“Hey, wait” you scream, hopping into a tracksuit. Jamie looks over his shoulder with a quizzical expression.

“What babe?” He asks as you hop to get the bottoms over your ass.

“I’m coming with you” you smile pushing your feet into a pair of slides. Jamie smirks amused with your antics.

“Who said you could?” He asks to take your hair out of the collar.

“I did, I gave myself permission.” You respond.

“Babe, the jumper is on backwards” he says, helping you adjust the top. “There” he dusts off your shoulders amused.

“I got to do a few pickups, then I have to look about Stefan’s uniform, then I got to do a food shop and have the car cleaned. It’s gonna be a long day” he lists.

“Perfect, I finally get some time with you” you smile tiptoeing to kiss him. 

Jamie wastes no time picking you up. It’s a short walk to the car in his arms and you get comfortable in the seat before he does. You know you have it bad when you don’t mind sitting beside him for most of the day while he takes calls, watching him drive and running his errands opposed to your fun ones.

“Want Starbucks?” He asks.

“Yes!” You beam, happy to start the day off right. Jamie leans over to give you a kiss. He’s happy you’re here with him. Happy you’d rather be on the road by his side than in the house alone today.

“I love you” he whispers onto your lips. You know it. You feel it everyday, he showed you last-night. With his busy schedule and all the daily demands he still makes time to be present and please his wife.

“I love you too” you tell him before he deepens the kiss, kissing you hard. He breaks the kiss to start the car and holds the back of your seat as he reverses out of the driveway. It’s one of those things that’s sexy for a reason beyond you. Jamie knows you think so too and smirks shaking his head once he puts the car in drive heading down the road.

“You're not gonna sit there looking at me like that all day or I won’t get any work done” he says keeping his eyes on the road. You can’t help it.

“Fine” you pout getting your sunglasses from your purse. You put the oversized black shades on as a cover and he smiles.

“Cheeky,” he warns.

You reach forward once equipped with your morning coffee and put a playlist on. Jamies so used to silence and his thoughts. This morning he’s treated to a karaoke session with you - he cant help but sing and rap along to his favorites. You laugh happy for the quality time and to be married to a man like Jamie.

He loves you more than is good for him. More than someone in his position should love anything. You’re his heart in human form. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you. No length he wouldn’t go for you. He appreciates nothing more than coming home to a peaceful comfortable home. A home that smells good with a meal waiting for him. He loves the way you dote on him. How he doesn’t need to do anything but sit there and make his demands known. He loves how well you listen and adjust to what he’s asked of you. How there’s never any doubt in your mind that he wants what’s best for you. He loves who you are to him and his brothers and how you’ve made space for the three of them within your family. Most of all he loves that it’s real between you two. That you stuck beside him while he transitioned out of the life and believed in him when the money was drying up and things didn’t look promising. It killed him seeing you work so hard for that year. His dream was retiring you and when he did everything fell into place.

“Now it’s the way you’re looking at me” you warn, feeling the heat of his glances. Jamie smiles. “I’m trying to behave,” you warn. “Lead by example babe” you joke.

“You’re right,” he agrees. “Did you find a dress for Kits engagement party?” He asks.

“No, I need your help actually. I don’t know who’s gonna be there and how I should look” you explain.

“Doesn’t really matter, I’ve got a room for us at the hotel, I’ll mix a bit then say my piece and then I’ll be in you” he promises. It’s a wonder the attraction and physical connection has only grown over the years.

“Jamie!” You groan neither of you better than a pair of adolescents. He laughs and you love it. His happiness is your priority.

“If I didn’t want you all the time that’d be a problem” he says honestly. “Wear something long, not too tight, no legs or tits out. That way I shouldn’t have to take any lives.” He says not like the way some men ogle you.

“But I was hoping to see this one guy and look really good for him” you shrug. Jamie looks peeved instantly.

“Who?” He asks.

“Tall, brown skin, low fade, handsome as hell. I think Kit’s best friend” you flirt, pretending to be oblivious as he smiles.

“He’ll be there, he's married though. His wife is something serious!” Jamie plays along.

“She good to him, you think?” You ask.

“That brudda ain’t going nowhere” Jamie continues as you pretend to be puzzled.

“Well that’s good for them, I guess,” you roll your eyes. Jamie laughs making his way to his first stop. He kisses you quickly before heading in. He returns with a few ledgers. You ride alongside of him for the rest of the day and get royal treatment when he’s among friends that treat you like there’s been a sighting of the queen. When you get in you’re sleepy and stretch as you head to turn on the jacuzzi. Jamie finishes up business while you unwind. It’s twenty minutes before he materialises. Seeing you at rest making use of the home you two share makes him feel like all the sacrifice and strife has been worth it.

“How hot is that water?” He asks about being a typical man.

“Hot” you smile and he turns and reaches for you, getting you out and heading into the shower.

“Thank you for spending the day with me,” he says, adjusting your necklace, his hand touches your breast, making your nipples pebble but he pays it no mind knowing exactly what he’s doing and the power he has as he washes you up.

“Thanks for having me” you respond as he kisses your neck. A day's worth of sexual tension and foreplay is one of many reasons Jamie is one of one. The eye contact he makes running the soapy cloth over your body, his self control is unmatched as he keeps things above board. He’s driving you crazy and he knows it. You reach for his face and he smiles, removing your hand.

“Be good,” he warns. It’s a necessary warning. He watches you intently as you start on his chest dividing your attention between the task at hand and looking up at him. When you’re finished his top half you squat down for the lower bit. Jamie shakes in a ‘no’ gesture, his head as your mouth at level with his manhood. You wash the rest of him up and he takes the cloth finishing up before standing under the water. You join him and share a kiss. You can tell from the look in his eyes you’re in for a great time tonight. He dries you off putting on your silk robe. He watches you sashay out of the bathroom into the bedroom looking up at the sky mentally thanking god for his life and you in it. Now he has a clear schedule he can finally indulge for as long as he wants. He plans for it to last all night and into the morning. Heading into the bedroom the lights are dim with you in the centre of the bed on your knees.

I love this woman.

He smiles to himself.

You love him too.

[fairycosmos]

hey sorry if this is invasive but how do you know you have depression? things have been harder to cope with for the past month but i am incredibly ashamed of asking for help or even saying out loud because i feel dramatic, attention seeking etc. even realising how much it is affecting my life. do i really need to get it out to get better?

ive had it since i was a kid and my doctor has been aware of it since i was like 11 so it was just smth i grew up with - when im in a particularly bad episode i can tell because im extremely lethargic, unmotivated, don't look after myself, am prone to severe hopelessness and a sense of impending doom following me everywhere + self destruction, i drink more, i get paranoid, i dissociate and feel disconnected from the world around me and from my own body, im numb/sad most of the time, i have panic attacks and cant get out of bed even for things i would usually want to do, im very disorganised and have a flat affect/tone of voice, i don't interact with people much....honestly the list goes on LOL.

it's important to understand that depression manifests uniquely for everybody and if youve noticed a difference in your own behaviour/thinking patterns that is actively and consistently impacting your life negatively - then that is enough of an indicator that something is going on. it doesn't need to be any worse. if it's already difficult, then it's already difficult, and you deserve support with it. to some extent it's some normal to feel ashamed/afraid of reaching out - we're raised in a world that stigmatises mental illness and we've received that messaging for a long time. which makes it feel like the truth, but doesn't mean that it is actually true. i think the bottom line is that you need to treat yourself the way you'd treat a friend going through something like this. you wouldn't want them to cut themselves off from asking for help because they've bullied themselves into silence over what people might or might not think of them. if we want to live in a world that truly supports people with mental health issues in an effective way, then we need to hold ourselves to that same standard. i know it's incredibly overwhelming, and im not saying it's wrong to be anxious or scared about reaching out. i just think actively trying to frame it from a more objective mindset could help you accept what is happening and what the right next step is for you. if you have the opportunity to talk to someone - a hotline, your doctor, a local support group or therapist, even a friend/family member to begin with - i really encourage it. even write down what you want to say or bullet point what's been going on so you don't feel like you're being put on the spot. im sure you're imagining all sorts of reactions, but in my experience, professionals are very accepting of what you're going through and just want to work with you to see how you can process and cope with your current mindset more healthily. whether it's medication, talking therapies, showing you new coping skills - there's a lot that can be done for someone in your shoes. you're not stuck and they're not going to judge you. even if, in some alternate reality, you just wanted some attention - that's not a crime. i think it's natural to want someone to witness and acknowledge us when we're hurting anyway. sorry to ramble - there are a lot of depression self help and coping pdfs that are free and available to download online which offer a bit of support. maybe that could be a good stepping stone if you're feeling super uncomfortable with the idea of talking to someone. we all work on our own timeline and thats honestly ok. but if you're looking for truly personalised and effective help then i think working towards talking to someone is your best option. it's okay to not be happy about that and still do it, like swallowing a medicine that tastes gross. otherwise the thoughts just rot inside you and you get lost in a spiral of depressive thinking patterns and it weighs you down having to manage it all alone inside your head. you become at risk of losing all objectivity and sense of self, which happens to me often and is fucking horrible. if it's possible, i really hope you eventually bring this up to a loved one or a professional. im really sorry you're going through this and i truly hope better days are ahead. sending a lot of love. X

[moonlit-imagines]

an update <3

so, it’s been a while since i’ve really tried to keep up with this blog. you may have noticed most lists are outdated, i haven’t really posted anything and when i do, it’s few and far between. i thought it was because i just lost my motivation to write.

but i started focusing on that novel from a year or two ago!! the inspiration doesn’t stop flowing for it and i’ve been riding this high for a while, it’s made me so happy to write without any pauses or writer’s block, because i really do love writing.

i know that i keep trying to say “hey, i might write something soon,” “sorry, i’m working on this request i’m just busy,” “please forgive me i want to do this event soon i just don’t have the time or motivation,” but it’s time i’m honest with myself that i don’t think i’m that invested in imagines and reader insert anymore and trying to force myself to write things that no longer draw any inspiration just makes me resent writing entirely. i cant even keep up with my fandoms anymore.

this blog has been the best thing i’ve ever created, but i’d like to do more. work on things that keep me going and make me happy. and for a long time this was that for me, but i guess i just outgrew it.

for four years this blog has been active (well, maybe not the most active recently), and in that time i’ve wrote some stuff i’m really proud of, had these ideas that i fell in love with and some of you might have too. i absolutely loved the idea of writing things that helped you guys through your lives, as well. things that made you feel seen and included, whatever made you laugh or cry, sparked your own inspiration. hell, i had a ton of people tell me that my writing helped them learn english, which absolutely floored me. it was the most meaningful thing i felt i could have done. i hope i can do that again someday, either returning to this blog or going a different route.

that being said, this blog will NOT be deactivated. not only do i know a lot of you revisit my old work, but i’d love to look back on it too. this blog has a lot of memories attached to it. it has my hard work on it. it has sweet messages and support from both sides on it. and not only that, i made a lot of wonderful friends on here. and i feel i’ll continue to do so!!

i encourage you guys to keep messaging me, sharing your ideas, asking for advice, telling me your stories!! i’d like to be here for you guys. as a friend or writer. i’ve always been ecstatic when someone asks for writing advice or blog advice, it’s something i always know i can help with.

the burnout almost got the best of me, but this novel i’ve decided to write has been the best idea i’ve had in a while. it got me to love what i love once again. i hope you all understand and we can continue to support each other throughout our journeys. i wouldn’t be who i am today without you all.

much love xx

-lacey

[senseitive-o]

Letters i will never send you

Do i miss you?

does it hurt?

no it doesn’t

it’s just i can’t breathe right now

there is this weight on my chest

someone is pushing me down

there is this pain

i feel sick to my core

but i am ok.

i am happy,i just completed another kdrama

but all i could think about is how i never sent you that recommendation list.

nvm i am happy

i went through my tiktoks only to stop at ones i made for you but never sent them

should i have?

but would it have changed anything.

It doesn’t matter.

We have both moved on.

Its just i still can’t watch Big Bang Theory

because you said we will binge them together.

We shouldn’t have planned anything.

i loved imagining my future

now i don’t even think about next year.

nothing remains the same so why we thought we will.

but its ok

we are grown ups now.

it is ok for a 20 year old to ask AI to tel her yjhd dialogues

it’s completely fine for her to want to recreate with someone and shutting everything down in an instant

because she cant bear someone else saying the same words.

just realised its not the words that matter but the one saying them.

but its ok,

i stopped finding comfort in words.

i mean i did wait the entire day till 12 for your wish to pop on my screen,

opened your account one too many times.

It’s ok now,

the day passed without like the countless other moments when i had you but you weren’t here.

It’s not the major things that break my heart

i can live without the three words

but the small gestures

they all mattered

the way you said goodnight,stayed on call till 5,texted me the tiniest detail,the mischief in your voice and the smile in the eye,all those loved names,listening to repeated tales.

Oh the barely noticeable things were worth dying for.

i should have recorded your laugh.

oh i should have loved you

more.

I don’t feel anything rn

but this unimaginable hatred for myself

why did i not love fully?

i knew love was a choice,

so why didn’t i choose us that time

i should have said what i needed to say

then a little more

i should have listened and cherished more

remembered those lowkey i love yous you said

how did i thought i would be okay losing you

but wait a second

you were?

you were ok losing me?

ik i am not the most loveable person

but you should have loved me in my madness

you shouldn’t have made me fight me for the breadcrumbs of your love.

Did we both fall in love with the idea of love?

not knowing what it really was.

we should have looked before we fell.

All in the past though,

we were broken so we broke up

its just how my life has been intertwined with yours so casually that i don’t even need to think about you.

your name appears on my search bar everything single time

You are my muscle memory.

nvm i am again making a mistake

breaking my heart again

begging that there is still a chance

when its time to let go.

You know whats the weird part

i realised i will always be a villain

or maybe i am just human

a selfish human.

I sit down often and think about you

“are you suffering?”

do you also suddenly miss me?

in weird periods of time

when you suddenly see something

does it remind you of me?

Do i linger in your head,

pull some tugs of your heart?

When you hear my name,

how do you feel?

Damn you

Damn you

for making me bear all the weight.

[matsbarzal]

happy august! i wanted to do a prompt list for the month, just to push myself to get back into writing more before the season starts. you can find all the prompts below (listed under specific subtitles for what they cater to) and as they get requested, ill be crossing them off. please be sure to double check my who i write for, and if the person you'd like to request isn't on there, just toss me a message! please send the number(s) with which subtitle they fall under and the player you specifically want it for when you request. please give me a lil bit of time to knock em' all out! cheers! <3

fluff

"what a nice pillow!" - brock boeser

"i personally think i deserve more attention than this." - mat barzal

"your love is literally a drug." - roope hintz

"i'd lay here and watch the stars with you every night if i could." - andrei svechnikov

"remember our first kiss?" - Erik Černák

"you've been my best friend for 10 years, why not change it to husband and wife?" - jack hughes

"i'd buy you the world if you'd let me."

"let me take care of you." - mat barzal

"i know i just spilt my drink all over your brand new shirt..." - elias pettersson

"i've never felt as safe as when i'm with you." - anthony beauvillier

"i'm always home when i'm with you."

"couldn't imagine my life without you." - mat barzal

"i know we said no matching tattoos... but matching tattoos?"

"gonna let me teach you how to skate?" - nico hischier

"i can't wait to see you." - jamie oleksiak

"i know we're in a cabin in the middle of the woods and our power just went out... so should we cuddle or bang?" - matthew tkachuk

angst

"you don't love me anymore?"

"you said you'd always be there."

"if you walk out that door, we're done. for good." - roope hintz

"i cant do this without you."

"please don't shut me out." - nathan mackinnon

"just breathe, it's okay. it'll be okay." - mat barzal

"i miss you everyday."

"so go, get out!"

"i know it hurts, just let me help." - kirby dach

"it was always him, wasn't it?"

"i regret everything about you."

"do you even love me anymore?" "i dont know." - andre burakovsky

"please don't leave me alone right now."

"are you going to talk to me or?" - elias pettersson

"you told me you loved me, yet you ruined everything about me."

"did i mean nothing to you?"

nsfw 18+

"your lap looks extra comfy." - tyson jost

"make me." - bowen byram

"can't wait to watch you fall apart tonight." - tyson jost

"i'll bend you right over that sink if you don't shut your pretty little mouth." - matthew tkachuk

"get on your knees."

"i want you to cum in me."

"let me take care of you." - k'andre miller

"you're mine. don't forget that." - josh anderson

"go get the cuffs from the drawer. now." - matthew tkachuk

"such a dirty slut for me, hm?" - mat barzal

"god, the things i'm going to do to you when we get home." - roope hintz

"be quiet, baby." - mat barzal

"look at the way [blank] looks at you, think he knows i'm fucking you behind his back?" - mat barzal

"seeing you with their baby... god the things it did to me." - jacob markstrom

"who needs dessert when i have you?"

"no panties tonight, hm?"

random/au

you and your soulmate have the same tattoo on your inner wrist

you can hear your soulmate in your head... and god is he annoying - josh anderson

your soulmate wont stop getting hurt and it's starting to piss you off

the moment you look into their eyes... you just know. - mat barzal

when you touch your soulmate, you see glimpses of your future with them

"you can't have two soulmates." "well explain how we all have the same tattoo then, asshole."

[blank] is the most annoying gryffindor there is, and you can't wait until you graduate so you never have to see him again

hades!player and persephone!reader

"do you actually sleep in a coffin at night?" "this isn't dracula."

"im 600 years older than you. calm down." - connor mcdavid

prince/princess au! - andrei svechnikov

"i'd die for you." "okay die then."

"can we make a tiktok?" "no." "okay so here's what we're doing." - mat barzal

reader!actress & player!player

song prompts

"but baby, you're the reason i quit drinking." -i quit drinking (kelsea ballerini & lany) - matthew tkachuk

"if ' cant be close to you, i'll settle for the ghost of you" - ghost (justin bieber)

"i'd do whatever she likes, give her christmas in july" - anything she says (mitchell tenpenny) - brock boeser

"from the start, i never thought i'd say this before but i don't wanna love you anymore" - i dont wanna love you anymore (lany)

"could i be yours in the morning? im tired of counting down streetlights" - yours in the morning (patrick droney) - jacob markstrom

"you left me with nothing now im lying in the arms of a stranger" - arms of a stranger (niall horan) - tyson jost

"id spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours" - 10,000 hours (dan+shay) - mat barzal

[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[purvishraick]

Bloodbound Chapter 2

Fanfiction : Bloodbound (Choices)

Pairing : Adrian Raines x Amy Richard Parker (MC)

Warning : emotional triggers , accident , blood

Rating: PG - 13

TAG LIST : @otherworldlypresents​  , @former-westchester-resident​   , @silma-words​ , @fireycookie

If anyone wanna be tagged in future do let me know….

read previous chapter here ..... Chapter 1 

1 year 6 months ago …

The house was bustling with laughter and giggling of children , mother scolding her kids and father commanding orders to prepare for the outing properly. The whole family was their , everyone living in the giant Parker Mansion came together for that one day , forgetting their differences and being happy with each other.

The house was one of the biggest and most luxurious and oldest in New Orleans. It was the family maintained from generations, with one as the house head. Currently the house head was the father of the three lovely siblings, Richard Howard Parker. 

It was a lovely day. Amy was excited to spend a day with her nephews and nieces. Even being the older one she enjoyed the most amongst children.

“aunt Amy …how are you ? …I and John wanted to play with you “ squealed the little Parker twin .

Jenna and John Samuel Parker were the youngest on the Parker family tree. They were twins of her cousins Samuel and his wife Samantha. 

“of course love …we will play once we reach the grounds.” She smiled lovingly towards them and they hopped on in her lap .  

They all were soon ready to set out for this annual family gathering in the Parker family grounds. It was the most important gathering of the whole year as everyone would be there. 

Everyone started to hop on, on the van, but the van was full by the time it was the turn for Amy, Christopher and Nathaniel to ride on. They settled on ridding in the car, and were accompanied by the little twins. In the car they chatted and teased each other.

 “Uncle Nath , mamma told us that you are an expert at shooting things …can you teach me too” asked John .

“oh come on …it is nothing as such …but yeah I will surely teach you when you are bit more old”

 “okie dokie “ John pouted 

“oh don’t be sad little dumpling “ nath laughed as he twitched his cheek. And as an addition he twitched Amy’s cheek too . She squealed at this gesture.

 “ehhhhhh… … …”

“stop it Nath , don’t trouble her” Chris gave a warning .

“seriously!!! … Nath stop it …you are hurting me …Chris see him “ Amy said dramatically . 

“Yeah yeah …go ahead complain to him …this is what you always do …go and hide in big brother’s arms “

“ha…of course she will .” said a grinning Chris . 

“of course , if I have been blessed with two amazing brothers then let me have the benefit” she said laughing and turned to Jenna “ buttercup you can have the advantages in future too “

They all laughed and the poor twins looked at them totally confused and unaware of the topic .

“stop it Amy …do not spoil them …and make them like yourself “ the last comment gained Nath a punch from Amy . 

They all were busy laughing and teasing in the car and suddenly a screeching sound from the tyers of a truck coming straight toward their car and the other van caught their eyes . 

Christopher turned the car roughly to escape the truck and Nathaniel and Amy shielded the little twins from any harm , but unfortunately as the car smashed in the railing the window glass broke and crashed on them . And the truck went straight forward towards the van in which everyone was.

 The van didn’t turn on time and the truck crashed with it. The van was flipped upside down and it crashed after taking a few turns and truck went the other side. It was a disastrous scene to see. The van was devastated and broken. The glass broke and scattered, the tyres were no longer attached to the van . And we couldn’t even imagine what would have happened to the people within.

As Amy gained contiousness after there sudden crash , she found her middle brother cradling the twins and her eldest brother unconscious on the driver seat. The broken window opened a deep cut on her shoulder , Nath had a wound on his forehead cutting his eyebrow and Chris had his whole arm scarred by a straight cut . Luckily the twins were safe they had minor injuries only . 

 She helped Nath quite the twins and put them in a short sleep, while Nath woke their brother up. 

After this Amy went out and saw the devastated van. She screamed out loud and went straight towards the van to see her family ignoring all her injuries. 

Nath and Chris followed after her quickly.

 When she went near it she saw that all of them were slowly crawling out of the crashed van. Samuel and Samantha were brutally injured and everyone else were not in a good condition either. 

She saw her aunt Emily sobbing over her son’s body and then she realized that he was dead as a rod pierced through his abdomen during the accident. At the scene her sobbing increased and she fell to her knees beside her cousin.

 Then suddenly she noticed that her dad was not there . She had a terror in her eyes which she only had felt once before when her mother died. 

She ran towards the crashed van and saw her father still inside. Soon her brothers were beside her and they went in to bring him out. He was very badly injured and shallowly breathing. 

By this time she sobbed even harder at the sight of her father. 

“Dad …no …no …no…this cant be …you will be fine …we called the ambulance u will just be fine” , she managed to get out these words over her sobbing. 

Nath and Chris were on full crying too. They were holding their father’s hands while Amy cradled his head in her lap. 

“lovelies …it is okay …I wont make it till then…you have to let me go “ their father said with a heavy heart.

“no…dad …no …don’t say like that you will be fine …please just stay with us” Amy cried 

“yes dad …just hold on a sec the ambulance is coming …you will be fine “ Nath said while crying too.

 “you don’t dare leave us just the way mom did …you just don’t “ Chris  said with teary eyes who being the eldest witnessed the death of three mothers . 

“children …I am so sorry …Ames I thought that I will walk my daughter down the aisle myself but I think now this responsibility is on your brothers …Nathaniel …my son …I always dreamt that I will myself see you become a successful person … but I think now I will not get the opportunity…Christopher I always thought that I will watch my son proudly…when you take on our family’s legacy…but now …I am so sorry children …I don’t want to …I would never want to leave you “ , he kept choking on his words. “ I love you all so much …so much …that no one could ever imagine …ames sweety take care of your brothers and ……and boys look after your sister too …stick together with each other…okay ? “

“Yes…yes dad we will “ they replied in unison .

“remember what your mother said ?” he said with small smile on his face .

 “yes …we do “ Chris said knowing too well that his siblings remembered too

 .“ALWAYS AND FOREVER “ they all said .

 “yes dearies …always and forever …I love you all…I love you …I love yo-………… “ with this he became limp in their arms .

“no …dad …no…no …no …please no … “ Amy and Nath sobbed and Chris just held his head down while tears came out endlessly for all of them .

 Richard took his last breath in his children’s arms , full of love . He was gone now and now after the course of losing their mothers they lost their father too … now they all were orphans .  

PRESENT DAY ………

They all sat there remincing the worst day of their life . 

The day they lost all their family . In that accident not even a single member of their family survived , they all died …dead and lost . Never going to come back to them . 

 Christopher and Nathaniel stayed with their sister until she stopped sobbing . The tears came out endlessly , they didn’t seemed to stop .

 They all thought the same thing that ……their father was gone and never coming back ……they were now just left with a broken promise of always and forever ……and long lineage of their family to take forward .  

- Purvi Shraick ❤❤

[aku-jumbi]

I apologize for blowing up your notifications with likes and reblogs. I am just blown away with your artwork/style. Going through all of them, seeing how your mastered your style within just a couple years and improving on it is just.... wow. Words cannot express how impressed I am and how much it motivates me to try to start drawing. I didnt realize people were giving your a hard time about your work. To each their own I suppose, but my lord your art is beautiful. Please continue doing what you love. I cant wait to see what else you have in store. I didnt know if you had done Bokuto yet. If not, imma hit you up for a commission at some point xD. Honestly though, your work brings a lot of beauty to my life right now. The past year in the medical field with covid, life has been very dull. Anyways I'm gonna stop word vomiting all over this ask. I hope you have a wonderful day! :3

Hello there, certainly no need to apologize! Thank you for all your nice words, I feel very honored and flattered and just bow each time (really infront of my PC xD) when I get that kind of messages and show gratitude haha ^^

What really impresses me is the fact you went through my gallery (must be right now some really long scroll until one reaches the bottom ^^ )and yeah, sometimes I take a look at my older paintings, too just to remind myself that I slowly got better. In fact I am my worst critique and it’s me who is giving myself the most harsh comments when I analyze my paintings over and over so I was also surprised as the weird comments started to pop up. Well, nothing against constructive criticism, not at all, but this was something that hadn’t to do with anatomy or such. But it was rather emotional, ethical and/or moral criticism which I found is not appropriate as for fanart and which isn’t abusing the characters. At least that’s really not my intention, never was, never will be.

Sometimes I am not sure if people that aren’t painting themselves know how many components are woven together when working on a painting and it’s not easy to synchronize everything, to maintain always full power over the painting. Technically the colours and form are the most crucial I would say but as easy as it sounds, it’s not haha. Tell 10 people to draw a cat, 10 different cats. haha

Well, also don’t want to spam around now, over the years I got to understand somehow my style and just made my own conclusions about digital art in general and the why I can use it the best.

I am so glad that my slowly developed understanding of portraying the characters soft and smooth and somehow (eventually?) filled with life bring you joy! It’s in fact exactly what I am doing, creating a fantasy, so when you look into their eyes you can forget (if just for a brief moment) what’s going on outside : ) You can’t imagine how happy it makes me to hear that you also can forget a little bit about your daily routine with my paintings!

Finally: Bokuto! Yeah, yeah, I stiiiill have some request going on which I shamefully just left waiting as I was working on my last pieces (which I needed just for myself) and I guess I am going to continue to work on them again. Bokuto was on the list, already and of course I gonna work on him too (no commission needed, he is an official character, I won’t charge for that!). 

Thank you again and please stay safe, I hope you are fine and also can relax at times, so appreciating your hard work in the medical sector, you can’t imagine!!! : ) If you ever need help with digital art, just ask me, by now I found out some tricks and stuff, always glad to help! :3

And if you ever look at some of my pics, please also listen to this song (I painted a lot of my paintings listening to it, I think it works fantastic with them xD haha):

https://youtu.be/3IJ3XXomxiM

Your always bowing Aku_jumbi ^^

[canisterofsoda]

incoming long list of incorrect quotes because im getting annoying on discord so you people have to deal with me now

Kei: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Han: Looking right because you left

Rose: Looking up cause you let me down

Oliver: Looking down cause you fucked up

Blair: What is wrong with you guys

---------------------------------------------

Kei: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Han: Tubular AF!

Rose: Mood to the max!

Oliver, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Blair, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kei: What’s something you guys are better than Han at?

Rose: Mario Kart.

Oliver: Yeah, video games.

Blair: Emotional vulnerability.

------------------------------------

Kei: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Han: Have everyone stand.

Rose: Bring three more chairs!

Oliver: The most important ones can sit down.

Blair: Kill three.

--------------------

Kei: Favorite horror movie?

Han: It

Rose: Saw

Oliver: Annabelle

Blair: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Kei: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Han: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Rose: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Oliver: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Blair: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

---------------------------------------------------------

Kei: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Han: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Rose: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Oliver: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Blair: My moral code, is that you?

Kei:

Kei: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

------------------------------

Kei: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Han: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Blair: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Oliver: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Han: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Blair: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Oliver: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Rose, annoyed: You are disappointments

--------------------------------------------------

Kei: Where's Han, Rose, and Oliver?

Blair: They're playing hide and seek.

Kei: Where?

Blair: I don't think you get how this game works.

---------------------------------------------------------

Kei: You kidnapped Han? That’s illegal!

Rose: But Kei, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Han, or destroying our dreams?

Kei: Kidnapping Han, Rose!!!

Oliver: Kei, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!

Kei: What, to kidnap people?!?!

Oliver: To work together!

Kei: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

Blair: Kei, we all agreed a Han is a not a people.

--------------------------------------------------------

Kei: Anyone d-

Han: Depressed?

Rose: Drained?

Oliver: Dumb?

Blair: Disliked?

Kei: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Kei: Nothing in life is free.

Han: Love is free!

Rose: Adventure is free.

Oliver: Knowledge is free.

Blair: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Kei: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Han: ... Your what?

Kei: My friends.

Rose: Are they saying “friends”?

Oliver: I think they're being sarcastic.

Blair: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Kei! All of your friends are in this room.

Kei: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

-----------------------------------------------------

Kei: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Han: Rude.

Rose: That’s fair.

Oliver: Not again.

Blair: Are you going to want this back?

---------------------------------------------------

Kei: Are we really going to let Han keep Rose?

Oliver: We kept Blair.

----------------------------

Kei: What does 'take out' mean?

Han: Food.

Rose: Dating

Oliver: Murder

Blair: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kei: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Han: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Rose: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Han, learn to listen.

Oliver: What if it bites itself and I die?

Blair: That’s voodoo.

Himari: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Han: That’s correlation, not causation.

Oliver: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Blair: That’s kinky.

Kei: Oh my God.

-------------------------

*The squad is over at Kei's house*

Han: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Kei: ... N-No...

Kei, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Han, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Rose: I see a-

Kei, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Han: Oh, well I-

Kei: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Kei, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Oliver: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Blair: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Kei: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Kei: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Kei, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Kei: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Himari, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Kei:

Han: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Kei:

Kei, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Kei: Rules are made to be broken.

Han: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Rose: Uh, piñatas.

Oliver: Glow sticks.

Blair: Karate boards.

Himari: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Kei: Rules.

Han:

--------------------------------

Kei: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Han: >:O language

Rose: Yeah watch your fucking language

Oliver: OKAY WHO TAUGHT ROSE THE FUCK WORD?

Blair: 'The fuck word'.

Himari: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Rose: Oh my god they censored it

Blair: Say fuck, Himari.

Rose: Do it, Himari. Say fuck.

--------------------------------------

'Can I copy the homework?'

Kei: I can help you with it!

Han: Yeah, sure.

Rose: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Oliver: lol nope.

Blair: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Himari: *Read 5:55pm*

-------------------------------

Kei: Time for plan G.

Han: Don’t you mean plan B?

Kei: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Rose: What about plan D?

Kei: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Oliver: What about plan E?

Kei: I’m hoping not to use it. Blair dies in plan E.

Himari: I like plan E.

-----------------------------------

Kei: We need to distract these guys

Han: Leave it to me

Han: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Rose, Oliver, and Blair: *Immediately begin arguing*

Himari, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

------------------

*The squad right before Kei's wedding*

Han: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

Rose: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

Oliver: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

Blair: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND

Himari, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

--------------------------------------------------

Kei: Croissants: dropped

Han: Road: works ahead

Rose: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Oliver: Shavacado: fre

Blair: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Himari:

Himari, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

---------------------------------

Kei: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Han: Okay, but what is updog?

Rose: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Oliver: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Blair: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Himari: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Kei: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Oliver: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Rose: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Han: What’s a henway??

Kei: Oh, about five pounds.

----------------------------------

Kei: Just be yourself.

Han: 'Be myself'? Kei, I have one day to win Rose over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Oliver: Couple weeks.

Blair: Six months.

Himari: Jury’s still out.

Han: See, Kei?

Han: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Kei: I CAN'T DO IT!

Han, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Kei: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Rose: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Kei:

Kei: I appreciate it,

Kei: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Oliver: Kei-

Kei: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Blair: Kei we gotta-

Kei: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Kei: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Kei, motioning to Himari: NOT FUCKING THIS

--------------------------------------------------------

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Kei: Thanks fam!

Han: oh no

Rose: *cries* I love you too

Oliver: Sounds fake but okay

Blair: *A flustered mess*

Himari: can i get a refund

-----------------------------------

Kei: Hewwo.

Han: Hihiiiiii!

Rose: Greetings, Humans.

Blair: Three kinds of people.

Oliver: I want pudding.

Kei: Four kinds of people.

Himari: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?

Blair: Five kinds of people.

-----------------------------------------

Kei, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Han: Hey.

Rose: Hi.

Oliver: Hello.

Blair: Hey!

Kei: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Himari: We were out of Doritos.

-----------------------------------------

Kei: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Han: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Kei: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Rose: Actually I did the math, Han would have $225, not $0.15.

Han: Fam I’m right here....

Oliver: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Kei: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Oliver: Sorry I only have a dollar

Kei: :(

Rose: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Han would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Oliver: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Rose: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Blair: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Rose: Apply juice to what

Himari: Directly to the forehead

Han: Great chat everyone

---------------------------------

Kei: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Han: Nope, absolutely not.

Rose: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Oliver: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Blair: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Himari: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 12

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i hope it sorta hit a bit? does it sting? it had to happen sorry! i cant wait to write the next chapter 😭

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i didnt add the “never have i ever” suggestions that i used but THANK YOU if you sent some, i used a few! also, i had other requests and ideas from people and i may use them a bit later, in a future chapter. actually i know when ill use them lol youll see :)

Chapter 12 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

"Shit, I don't know what to wear!" I exclaimed to myself as i put clothes in front of me, standing next to to mirror. "Horrible."

I threw the shirt away, aiming for the bed but it fell next to it and I didn't even send it a glance as I took an other one.placing it on my chest and tilting my head at my reflection. I glanced up when I saw Louis walk by and stop immediately, holding himself on the door frame with a smirk.

"Put a skirt on." he let out, making me raise my eyebrows. "It'll be easier for him to fuck you against the wall."

My eyes got smaller and I reached out for my tissue box before throwing it his way. He moved right on time and it hit the wall in a thug, making him laugh.

"Don't be so violent!" he smirked, walking in my room and leaning on the wall. "I'm just saying out loud what you think about late at night, if you know what I mean."

I turned to him, opening my eyes wide and shaking my head. I couldn't believe Louis was talking about me masturbating to the thought of my ex boyfriend like it was nothing.

"Oh my god, shut up!" I let out with a chuckle. "You're so annoying!"

"Look, I woke up and he was getting out of your room." Louis pointed out. "He spent the night with you. In your bed. Wearing nothing but BOXERS!"

"We just slept." I argued with a shrug, trying not to show him that the thought of Niall almost naked in bed with me was actually doing something to me. "I was sick, remember?"

"Yea, you were 'sick'" he repeated, pronouncing the last word louder and adding fake quotation marks with his fingers.

"I was! A few of your sushis weren't good, Lou." I explained, throwing an other shirt away and grabbing a new pair of jeans. "You know it's true, I heard you vomit in the middle of the night, too."

"That's not the point." he explained, getting suddenly a lot more serious than he normally is. "Olivia, you should break up with Dylan." I stopped dead in my track and even stopped breathing. My heart, though, was beating extremely hard against my rib cage and it's all I could hear. "Did you even think about him recently? He's not here and you don't even seem to miss him, especially not when Niall is around."

I did think about Dylan, though, but I didn't talk about my thoughts, mostly because I felt fucking guilty about almost everything that came to my mind. I felt like shit towards my boyfriend but I didn't have the guts to tell him that I was getting closer and closer to Niall. I didn't know how to tell him that spending time with Niall had been some sort of relief in my life, that being able to be around Niall again was making me generally happier, that when I was near him, I felt more alive. There was no good way to tell that to the man you were about to marry, not without hurting him.

"I love Dylan and I miss him, you know that damn well, Louis." I argued, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "But Niall is... Niall is Niall. Niall is the love of my life."

Louis uncrossed his arms and walked closer as I closed my eyes. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to face reality at all. I wanted to spend time with Niall and pretend I would be able to resist him the next time he'd try to kiss me. I wanted to pretend that I was going totally okay with watching Niall and Heidi get married and have kids at some point in the future while i'd do the same with Dylan. I wanted to believe I didn't have to break an incredible man’s heart because of my own disgusting selfishness... that everything was fine and that what was happening between Niall and I was perfectly normal.

"I know he is." Louis said gently, placing his hands on my upper arms from behind. "I see you two interact and it's so obvious, Olivia. The way you two connect it's... it's probably terrifying for Dylan and Heidi, you know?"

I opened my eyes and sniffed before swallowing the lump in my throat. I was not going to cry. There was no fucking way I was going to cry now and ruin my make up. We didn't connect, and we wouldn't connect on that night, I was going to make sure of it.

"Don't worry, I'll be okay. I'll prove to you and everyone else that Niall and I are only friends, you'll see."

I was mostly trying to convince myself of that but I just reached out to my wardrobe and grabbed a skirt, like Louis had proposed. I was going to have fun tonight and nothing else.

"Liv, don't be like that."

I turned to Louis and shook my head slightly.

"I'm not losing Dylan, okay? I can't. Do you know what are the chances for me to find an other man like him? Kind, sweet, smart, funny and who truly loves me? I've risked my relationship enough, don't you think?"

"So last night, when Niall joined you in your bed, you didn't feel anything?" he asked a bit harshly, raising his eyebrows at me. "I saw him take care of you when you were puking your guts out, you know?"

"You don't base a romantic relationship on lust, Louis. You should know that." I shook my head, searching my drawers for a shirt. "Niall always took care of me, since we were kids. It's nothing new. And it means nothing."

Louis stayed there, motionless and quiet as I picked my clothes and when he realized I wouldn't look at him again, he sighed.

"We're leaving in 10 minutes." he turned around and walked to the door as I swallowed my tears again. "And Liv? I love you. I want what's best for you. My opinion is just that, an opinion but... I don't think you'll ever be happy if you're not with Niall. I don't think he'll ever be happy without you either."

                                                       ---

The bar was crowded but we reached a quiet spot on the second floor, in the back of the room. Everyone was arrived and I couldn't stop glancing at Niall, who ended up sitting next to me. Now that he was close, all the bullshit I had told Louis earlier didn't seem so important anymore. Nothing ever seemed more important than Niall, and it was a problem.

Louis came back with a pitcher and sat on the other side of me with Eleanor while Harry, Liam and Julie sat on the other side of the table. I didn't know where Harry's girlfriend was, or if he even was with her anymore. We had told each other we would remain friends but things change and we drifted apart. I sighed low, a bit nostalgic of that friendship before we all started drinking. I was getting drunk and from the way Niall's eyes sparkled, I felt like he was getting there, too. Or maybe it was just that I was so drunk I was starting to imagine things.

I could feel the skin of his arm brush against mine and I cleared my throat, trying to stop thinking about it before turning around to send him a smile.

"So where's your girlfriend?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh she'll be here soon."

I didn't expect this answer and raised my eyebrows as my lips parted. I didn't want to see her, and it was not only because we didn't get along. Most of all, I didn't want to see her all over Niall the way she had been when they invited us for dinner. Why was I so ready to prove everyone that I was able to resist my ex boyfriend but as soon as he was near, I couldn't handle myself?

"Okay, let's play a game!" Liam said, tapping the table a few times with his palm. "Truth or Dare?"

"No no, 'never have I ever'!" Louis argued, making me raise my nose up in a grimace.

These games never ended well, at least most of the time, except that one time where I decided to just kiss Harry, but a few minutes later, Niall had kissed a girl too and that was not a good ending, at least not to me.

"Okay, I found questions online!" Eleanor let out with a chuckle. "If you've done it, you take a sip, and no one lies!"

"Yea, I'll call you out if I see one of you lie!" Louis agreed, making my heart skip a beat.

I was screwed.

"Never have I ever... drunk-dialed an ex!"

I held my breath and started nibbling on my bottom lip. So many times, I had wanted to call Niall when I was drunk but every time, Louis was there to snatch the phone out of my hands. I glanced when I saw Niall drink and I wondered who he had tried to call. I had never received a phone call or a text message from him after we broke up, so I knew it was not me, and somehow, it made me jealous. He missed an ex so much that he called her... did that mean he never really missed me?

"Never have I ever... stolen someone's food!"

"Louis! You drink!" I let out, my eyebrows raised. "You always eat all my fucking left-overs!"

"What? Nah."

"He does!" Eleanor agreed with me with a chuckle, hitting him gently with her elbow.

He groaned but finally took a long sip of his beer, making me smile more.

"Okay, never have I ever... called a partner the wrong name during sex!"

I chuckled but felt my heart jump in my chest when I noticed Niall taking a long sip of his drink. We all looked at him and started laughing and he simply shrugged.

"I was drunk, I didn't know the girl's name!" he argued, laughing too.

I let my eyes roam on his face, wondering who exactly was that girl and if she had been someone he had sex with after he left me but I didn't dare to ask.

"Never have I ever.... lied to a law enforcement officer."

I laughed when I saw Louis drink and Liam started laughing, his eyebrows raised.

"Wait what? What was the lie?" he asked curiously, leaning slightly against the table.

"He lied to get out of a ticket." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Why? Because he was going too slow?"

Everyone started laughing and Louis grimaced before flipping Liam off, making everyone laugh even more. I leaned closer to Louis and kissed his cheek gently before he wiped my kiss vigorously from his skin.

"Traitor!" he whispered as I chuckled, blowing him an other kiss.

"Never have I ever... sent nudes."

Without thinking, my eyes found Harry immediately and his did too. We stared at each other for a few seconds before our lips curled. I grabbed my drink and took a sip as he did the same, just like Julie, Liam and Louis.

"Did you send nudes to your boyfriend or your ex boyfriend, Olivia?"

I sent a mean glance at Louis and he smirked, making me know he was getting back at me for the last question.

"One time, Harry, Niall and I played 'truth or dare' and Harry asked me if I had ever taken nudes. I guess we continued that conversation a bit later and.. shared.. selfies..."

Louis' eyes got bigger and he pressed his lips together, knowing he had made things a bit awkward but finding it funny anyway. I glanced at Niall, noticing he was staring at me, and finally cleared my throat, asking El for the next question.

"Never have I ever.... hooked up with someone of the same sex or gender."

My eyes once again found Harry. I knew we were pretty much the only one who didn't want to label ourselves around the table and I brought my drink closer to him. He smiled and clinked his glass against mine before we both took a sip.

"You guys have no idea what you're missing." he let out after swallowing, making us laugh.

"Oh my god, Liv, you're gonna love this one. Never have I ever had food poisoning."

I laughed and took a sip, pushing the side of my body against Louis'. He groaned and took a sip and when I turned around, I noticed Niall frowned. I moved closer, holding my breath to make sure I wouldn't smell his incredible scent, and smiled a bit.

"Last night, Louis got sick because of his sushis, too."

I saw an emotion pass on Niall's face and his lips finally curled before he chuckled. Was that relief? I nibbled on my bottom lip when I remembered what he had asked me in the middle of the night and the right corner of my lips raised. I didn't know why he didn't want me to be pregnant with Dylan's baby but I liked it.

"Never have I ever been the subject of a rumor that wasn’t true." Eleanor read with a big smile. "Oh god, I think we can all drink!"

We all laughed and ended up finishing our glasses, handing each other the pitchers to fill them back again. I almost choked on the sip I was taking when Heidi arrived and she quickly sat next to Niall, making something stir in my stomach. I closed my eyes tight when she kissed him and I felt Louis' hand on my arm.

"It's okay to be hurt, love." he whispered. "If it matters, she's got nothing on you. She's also doing that to get to you."

I breathed in and out slowly before opening my eyes again. I noticed Heidi looking at me and sending me a sly smile that really bothered me.

"I'll get shots!"

Harry left with Liam and the whole time they were gone, I played with my fingers nervously. I felt like the whole evening was ruined because of her but I couldn't let that get to me, right? As soon as the guys put the shots in the middle of the table, I grabbed one and swallowed it quickly, followed by Louis.

"Wait, guys! This is for the game!" Harry explained. "And it's a surprise, you don't know what you drink!"

That's when I noticed the huge amount of shots on the table and raised my eyebrows just as Eleanor read the next question.

"Never have I ever... caught someone masturbating."

I held my breath and my eyes got bigger. I didn't want to turn to Niall but it was stronger than me. He was already looking at me and he chuckled.

"One time, when I was 13, Liv caught me masturbating. She just walked in my room without knocking!"

I smiled and pressed my lips together but my smile faltered when I realized he had no idea that I had caught him masturbating last time I actually slept at his place. The sight of him jerking off flashed in my mind and I gripped my glass tighter until I heard his voice again.

"Oh and remember at the lodge?" he asked with a smirk. "I came back in the room the first day we got there and-”

"Nooo! Shut up!"

I moved closer to him, trying to press my hand over his mouth but he dodged me and ended up just holding my wrist as he finished his sentence.

"And I caught Olivia masturbating in the dark, in our room!"

"Oh my god I hate you." I groaned, leaning my forehead on the table as I heard laughter. "That was a secret!"

"Was it though?" Niall asked, his lips dangerously close to my ear.

I held my breath and waited a few seconds to look up, noticing Louis had given a shot to Niall and was now handing me one. I drank it quickly, turning the glass around and putting it on the table. Tequila, ouch.

"Never have I ever... tried anal sex."

Once again, I closed my eyes and groaned, bringing one of my hands on my face as Niall laughed next to me. I was really going to get drunk. I reached for two shots and handed one to Niall who just chuckled and drank it fast. I did it took and raised my nose up. Sambuca. I hated that.

"Wow, who the hell are you?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrows while looking at me. "Little wild thing. Can't believe you let him!"

It was not my first time trying anal but I decided not to mention it. The truth was, when I was dating Niall, I would have done anything for him. There was no limit, as long as he stayed with me and was happy, it was all that mattered to me. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss him and held my breath as I stared at him. My heart was hitting so hard against my rib cage I thought it was just going to escape. Literally. It was ridiculous. I was not ready to do anything for anyone anymore, except myself. That's how things should be.

"Never have I ever... hooked up with an ex’s friend."

Once again, I knew I had to drink. Not everyone in the room knew that I had slept with Louis and I thought maybe it would be better if I didn't drink at all but the worst would be if I hesitated. If I just drank, they could believe it was an other ex than Niall but if I didn't seem sure, they'd know I was not at ease and it would be suspicious. I rolled my eyes, realizing I was going a bit too far in my thoughts and just grabbed an other shot, swallowing it quickly. I felt Louis' hand squeeze my thigh and my lips curled slightly. He knew and it was enough for me.

"Never have I ever... tried to make an ex jealous."

I sighed and took an other shot, shaking my head.

"We need to find questions that won't force me to get so drunk I won't be able to walk in half an hour!" I argued with a chuckle, watching as Niall grabbed a shot too.

I was starting to hate this game, if only for the fact that all I did was drink and check if Niall would drink too and if he did, I'd just spend a few minutes wondering who it was about and what exactly it meant. I glanced at Heidi, thinking she should probably drink but didn't and I rolled my eyes.

I never really had tried to make Niall jealous but I had hoped for it. I was not getting married to make him regret leaving me, but when I noticed his reaction when he found out and stormed out of the cafe, I couldn't pretend it didn't do anything to me. It did. I liked it. It gave me hope. Hope for what? I was not sure.

"Never have I ever... second-guessed a relationship."

I was getting pissed at myself for letting all his simple gestures and actions get to me. I loved him, I loved him so fucking bad it was driving me insane, but there was no way I was going back to being the 'no-back-bone-and-fucking-blind' girl I used to be when we were dating. I didn't want that. I reached for a shot and placed it in front of Niall a bit roughly, spilling a few drops of what I believed was rum, or at least, it smelled like it.

"Do you need only one?"

Somehow, everyone stopped talking and although I should feel guilty, I really couldn't. I was past the tipsy stage and a few memories were coming back to my mind. I also didn't enjoy Heidi's presence and the way she was so close to him. Niall looked down and licked his lips, waiting a few seconds before drinking the shot and pushing the glass away. Eleanor cleared her throat and I just shook my head with a sigh.

"Uhm, never have I ever cheated on a partner."

I closed my eyes again but this time for a complete different reason. I thought about the first time Niall touched me. I could almost still feel his fingertips brush on my skin before he had pushed them inside me. I can't remember being this excited ever in my whole life. This time, I didn't have to say anything. Niall just reached out to grab a shot and swallowed it.

"Not on Liv, right?"

Niall turned to Louis and shook his head.

"No. With her." My eyes moved to Heidi's hand who gripped Niall's arm tighter sinking her nails in his skin. I couldn't help but think she did that when they fucked, too.  "It was back when I was with Maya."

I noticed Harry was looking at me with a frown and I just shook my head slightly, answering his silent question. He nodded and his lips curled a bit as I answered his smile. No, I had no cheated on Harry. I wouldn't have done that, not even for Niall... right?

"It was... unplanned." Niall added, making me press my lips together.

The memory was so vivid, probably due to the alcohol and mixed with the proximity of Niall's body, that I had to get up and go to the bathroom. As I got up, I realized how drunk I was and tried to walk straight. I didn't like to show I was drunk and I was not sure why but when I got out of the bathroom, Louis was leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

"El and I are leaving, we've got a brunch in her family tomorrow morning, so I'll sleep at her place." he explained with a frown. "Are you okay? We can give you a ride home if you want."

"No, thank you." I shook my head. "I'll just take a cab."

"No, no cab by yourself. One of those fuckers will bring you home when you'll be ready. I'll make sure of it. And if anything happens, you call me."

I nodded and he pulled me into a hug, making me close my eyes. I wanted to tell him that I missed him, and that I missed having sex with him, but it was a lie. What I actually missed was to be close to someone, and I sort of felt like I was losing him, somehow. Soon, we were not going to live together anymore and I had no idea if I was okay with that.

"Sorry for that game, although it went better than you thought, right?"

I chuckled and pulled away before nodding. He sent me a wink and told me goodnight and I watched him leave before sighing and walking back to the table with difficulty. Liam and Julie were getting up too and I frowned, tilting my head when I got closer.

"Are you guys leaving too?"

"Yea, we're both a bit tired." Julie explained.

They said their goodbyes to everyone and I ended up sitting next to Harry and in front of Niall. I watched as Heidi talked in his ear with a smirk and I glanced down to watch her arm disappear, realizing she probably had her hand on his thigh, or even somewhere else. I looked away and swallowed at the intense feeling of jealousy invading me.

"Oh, Olivia, I know you'll be alone tonight, would you rather sleep home?"

I frowned at Heidi, a bit surprised about her proposition and licked my lips, trying to find a reason why she would actually want me to be with both of them at his place. To show me he belonged to her, perhaps? To keep on being all over him in front of me?

"No it's okay, she can come home." Harry just said, getting up and grabbing his phone. "I'm alone tonight, too."

"It's cool, Harry. She'll sleep at mine." Niall quickly replied, getting up to. "Plus, it's closer."

They looked at each other and Harry finally sighed before bending down and whispering to me.

"Are you okay with that?" I just nodded and he did the same. "Okay, darling."

Heidi drove us back home since she had barely drank and I noticed Niall kept glancing at me in the mirror but I didn't acknowledge him. I knew he was a bit mad at me for some of the things I had said and if I wanted to be honest, I really thought I was over all of that, but the thought of him breaking my heart and not being sure of the relationship we had made something burn inside me... I was not mad. I was still hurt. I probably always would be.

Niall let me borrow a pair of his sweatpants and a shirt and none of us really talked at all. We just went to bed and before I knew it, I was laying on my back, under the covers, in the dark, just staring at the ceiling. Normally, I would have a conversation with Niall until we'd both fall asleep but that night, it was impossible. He was going to cuddle her all night, and not me. The thought made me swallow hard and I tried to keep my tears in. I was intoxicated and just closing my eyes made me dizzy.

That's when I heard it. It made my heart jump so hard in my chest I was near throwing up. A moan. Just a low moan disturbing the silence of the night and then, an other one. I got up slowly, my heart beating harder, making my whole body throb and when I opened the door, I held my breath. I stepped out of the room and It was clear, now. A bunch of moans reached my ears and I leaned my back against the wall, shutting my eyes tight.

"Oh, fuck, Niall!"

I felt tears invade my eyes and I let myself slide on the wall until my ass hit the floor. I heard noise, like the annoying sounds of a mattress moving, and I brought my hand to my mouth, trying to keep in the sobs that wanted to escape. This is exactly why Heidi wanted me to sleep at their place but the one I really blamed was Niall. How could he do that to me? Wasn't breaking my heart once enough? What the hell was he thinking?

I was sitting down alone in the hall, now as sober as possible in these circumstances, listening to my ex boyfriend, the man I was in love with, having sex with his girlfriend. It was so pathetic I didn't even take the time to wipe the tears that fell on my cheeks, I just accepted my fate, motionless, like it was something I actually deserved. I tried to think about my boyfriend, filming a movie in an other country, but it couldn't distract me from the noises coming from his room. All these images of Heidi riding him as he touched her and told her how much he loved her invaded my brain and I felt suddenly nauseous. It made me realize one thing. It was not so much that they had sex, that really bothered me, although it did hurt me to some extent. What was really hard to accept was that he may have feelings for her, stronger feelings than he had for me. I also couldn't really believe he cared so little about me that he'd literally do it while I was in the same house, in the room literally next to mine.

I cried more, feeling like this moment would never fucking end. It's only when I heard his voice for the first time that something inside me seemed to click. He had groaned and I hated it. It was a low and simple grunt but it made me want to literally die on the spot. I don't know where I found the strength but I quickly got up, walked back to the guest room and grabbed my purse before rushing to the front door and stepping out of the house into the dark night. The door closed roughly behind me and I realized they may have heard. I quickly left and ran across the street, my shoes hitting the ground being the only sound around. It was only when I was totally out of breath that I decided to call a cab. I just wanted to erase that whole evening from my mind. I just wanted to erase all my feelings and be happy again but I couldn't lie to myself. The only time I was truly happy was when I was with Niall... and that was over. There was no hope left inside me.

[kingjasnah]

Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?

i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now

#10: Katamari Damaci

I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.

I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.

#9: Undertale

This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.

#8: Fallout: New Vegas

I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)

#7 Super Mario World

When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.

#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)

I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.

#6: Breath of the Wild

I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)

#5: Halo 2

Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.

#3: Final Fantasy X

You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)

#2: Bloodborne

Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...

#1: Civilization VI

This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...

there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?