#like mf would u rather be immortal
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valewritessss · 2 months ago
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What pjo or hoo character do we think would let out The Sigh. Like, that sigh that the ‘mature people’ do that says “I’m so fucking done with this I need to sit on my couch in front of a tv sipping on some debatably gross drink to undo the headache this is giving me”, occasionally giving some “I can already feel the grey hairs coming in” too.
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pracidai · 3 months ago
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It's so weird to me that we can learn death magic at school but most people are just like I would rather Not
Crab familiars are so nice it's like having an immortal pet bc their skeletons just stay like that!
Tbh the whole first year is full ethics and philosophy bc turns out most people like HATE liches and the main reason historically there's never been one is another student always finds out and unleashes like an ant army or sacs an arm for an arm to make sure that mf can't pull it off so colleges are anal so they can go YOU WERE WARNED
People always have stories but I take em with a grain of salt like there cannot be this many people trying that's like too many it would legit be higher than regular serial killers so yeah no think that Stat is more reasonable than you would think
OH that's the other thing you learn is family members are always dying and it sucks but you can do Xray diffraction on their dissipating vestiges of personal magic, they can actually leave us messages from beyond the grave and sometimes that message is your friend Dev's brother is trying to be a lich get his ass
It's not always like a last words people often swear they can hear but that's like confirmed too you can watch the magic from their body convert to m bosons specifically to become sound waves then back into "free" quarks like a regular spell except there is some of u in there...
Science is amazing
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This Friday's meme is: the perfect being
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bakidose · 4 years ago
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hi baki!! if your requests are open, may i ask for angel devil relationship headcanons?? thank you <33
— CSM ## ANGEL HC
warnings: mentions of sex toys + quick mention of pegging + cunillingus + blowjob + mentions of death /dying + very slight angst + angel being a brat
pairing: chainsaw man's angel devil + fem! bodied reader
a/n: phew first work ive posted on here thank u sm for requesting <33 tbh i was panicking on how tf id even go about this and ended up writing wayyy too much 😭 anyways- i had fun writing and he deserves more content fr also i didn't rlly know if u wanted it to be sfw or nsfw so..i did both lol enjoy
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SFw —
baby you are my- ANGELLLL
you guys have ice cream dates often since its his favorite !! he does expect you to pay for his share of the ice cream though LMAO but really he enjoys all dates you two have that involves food. he eats anything and everything
except bugs, he won't even come close to that shit "you're telling me you're cool with eating a zombie...but not a beetle?" "yeah </3"
also holding hands?? yeah happens a lot after he started wearing gloves so no direct contact would ensue. holding hands while walking, hands intertwined while watching a shitty tv show on the sofa together, holding hands while doing literally anything. "why are your hands so cold?" clasps your hands with both of his, says you have him "put in too much effort for you"
"sir..." yeah, he's almost always the one instigating hand holding 😌
you and him also cuddle often, very careful with the way he touches you, making sure his body is against fabric and not skin. he's already content enough with the warmth your body gives him
you love to play with his hair, braiding it, up in a bun, anything really. and he especially loves when you run your hands through the strands of his long hair. it helps take his mind off things. definitely will reciprocate if you let him
another thing, he doesn't even try to come up with an excuse when he doesn't wanna do something labor inducing. will just straight up tell you he doesn't want to 😭 so you end up doing it yourself 😃
despite how lazy he can be and how hed rather drop dead than be doing too much, oddly enough he really enjoys baking. says its "not nearly comparable to working at a job" angel baby...chefs and culinary artists exist 😭
it started when you asked him to come over and bake something with you. he enjoyed the time spent together and how good the cookies you both made were hebarelyhelpedyoubye
loves red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting a LOT also, cherry pies. really loves those mfs
just has a really big sweet tooth omg
likes spending time with you overall. never knows when he'll be gone or vice versa, given the fact that he's a devilangelman
you two don't kiss very often either but you still do it because kisses make heart go brrr even though he scolds you not to. 1 week off of your life for a simple quick liplock? you'll take it baby :3 he lowkey loves the feeling of your plush lips on his though so,, he doesn't fight on it as much as he should
wishes he could decide how much of someone's lifespan he can take but unfortunately can't. if he could, he wouldn't take any at all from you
just wants to be happy and stay with you as long as possible :(( he'd never admit it but, you're what's keeping him going
which is why he doesnt understand why you're not more careful around him
"are you trying to die quicker?"
"im not. but i care a lot more about you. and if that means my days shorten just so we can spend more time together, so be it"
calls you a moron. says you humans need to care more about the time you have left on earth since there's not much. pretty ironic considering he's immortal but wishes to leave this place as soon as possible
he does find it touching that you cared that much about him; enough to sacrifice something as important as your life. wouldnt admit it but his feelings grew for you more that day along with the already very present need to protect you
you and him both know how much hes in desperate need of physical affection and you're more than willing to give it to him
the love you two shared was almost poetic <3
despite the obstacles you two have to overcome to make your relationship work overall, pretty and caring boyfriend. would 9/10 recommend
nsfw below the cut !
NSFw —
let's starts this off by saying, phew you're in for a rollercoaster to heaven and hell babe 😭
you begged to suck his dick bye
he just looked at you with the most deadpan expression in his eyes like "no.. im not gonna risk taking some of your life away just for that" and you were like "no baby it'll be worth it trust me pls"
he really doesn't want you to die basically
cause of death : dick
you are the definition of down bad, you are down bad as fuck
you ended up teasing him so much that day with lewd little whispers in his ear, "accidentally" grazing your hand over his clothed enclosed cock
"you don't know what you're asking for"
and yeah </3 you really didn't cause the moment you two were alone, away from any prying eyes, he shoved you down on your knees, head being forcefully pushed to come face to face with the obvious tent in his slacks
"such a needy little cockwhore" "is this what you wanted so badly huh?"
his head spins seeing you barely able to give back a reply, throat too preoccupied, busy being abused as you garbled out an incoherent 'yes' from those spit smeared, swollen lips. tears welled up in your eyes but fuck, it felt too good. hes taking control while you do it, hands gripping your hair; careful not to touch too much. you're being such a good girl for him. he's already taken a month off of you just by your mouth on him
speaking of which, since that's one of the biggest problems, he loooves using toys on you or watching you use them on yourself
watching you writher and moan, a blissed, fucked out look on your face. please he loves it, it turns him on so much
mutual masturbation is also a staple in the bedroom since you don't have to worry about touching each other and he doesn't have to worry about shortening your lifespan </3
but when he does feel like taking the risk mostly due to your happy-go-lucky ass 🙄
loves to finger fuck you. especially eating you out phew its like an ice cream sundae on a hot summers day to him. tongue lapping up and circling your little bundle of nerves lazily, mewls occasionally slipping from his pretty pink lips
overall, very uninterested-like, doesn't wanna put too much effort cause...no lol
angel : "i respect it, but it ain't me"
you really gotta rile him the fuck up if you want him to put more effort in and just go wild with no inhibitions, discarding the fact that he's removing some of your lifespan. that last part is really the only thing stopping him 95% of the time
now, even though i said he's uninterested in everything he does. even in the bedroom. don't fool yourself into thinking that he won't make you cum 3 times in a row cause he felt ' bored' that day even though you're begging him to spare you mercy, that its "too much" and he's like mmm "i don't feel like it" literally does not give two shits. you cant take it? hm too bad, cause he decides whether he's done or not
he's not really a horny person to begin with honestly. sex drive is really low since he doesn't need it but your sexy self changed him 😫
definitely a switch. no, i don't take constrictive criticism </3
also goodluck tryna get him to be an obedient submissive. he won't let you 😁
but,,, he still somehow takes control either way LMAO
he's both a brat and a brat tamer 💀
you'd realllly have to beg and whine for it, eventually caves in cause you're being annoying as fuck and doesn't wanna spend the energy bickering 'no' and 'yes' back and forth
he is soooo mf sensitive help swirl your tongue on the tip a little bit, follow the vein from the base stopping just right under the head- he's out. gone even. he just visited heavens gate right then and there
also, his moans bro? fucking angels are singing, a whole choir. you swear it sounds angelic as hell. probably because he is one 😟 but i digress. sound's breathy, panting almost. a little shaky too. soft groans mixed with low moans. timid and shy like he doesn't wanna let it out too much. a kept secret just between you and him
his face flushed, squirming and chest heaving, choked out pleas begging for release. he'd cuss you out and you'd coo something along the lines of :
"aww baby, if you stay still and be a good boy for me, maybe ill let you have it"
would eventually crack and give in cause holy shit he's about to cry
and does end up crying once you finish him off, overstimming him
"s'too much" he says. "ill say when its too much" yeah, you'd totally give him the same treatment he gave you 😇
honestly him subbing could go both ways. he gets pissed that you bossed him around to the point where he was begging for it and he ends up dicking you down cause fuck it what's 7 more months less of your lifespan when y'all are having the time of your lives in this very moment
or he ends up being exhausted as hell and goes out like a light immediately afterwards
couldn't deny afterwards how much he enjoyed being a subby bitch for you though </3
pegging? yeah, he was down for it after that. but that's for a different time 😚
overall, you and angels sex life is quite literally teetering on the edge of death
lifespan lost : 4 years
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published : 6/4/21
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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago
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Do you think Alec and Magnus use condoms? How do you think warlocks deal with STD?
REALLY interesting question, i must say that i love it. thank you anon. i hope you know that i will take it way too seriously
okay, so the first question is, ARE magnus and alec susceptible to STDs? unexpected p-words are not a problem because warlocks are sterile anyway (and, if you subscribe to both magnus and alec being of the same AGAB, also because it's not possible to get both gametes or whatever), so let's focus on the STD aspect (really important!). i think human STDs would not affect them, or at least not magnus. maybe alec because shadowhunters are notably more susceptible to weaknesses humans have, like disease and mortality and whatnot. but would human STDs affect warlocks?
i tend to go with no, because warlocks are immortal. immortality, especially as it is built in the sh verse (immortals can be killed but their body won't die on its own) kind of implies that they have, like, supercells or superorgans or something, that don't deteriorate - or, alternatively, that can rebuild way faster than they could be deterioriated. im saying that because stuff like aging and eventually dying is essentially the process in which your body can no longer replace dying cells at the same speed at which they die, which leads to your body weakening as a lot of its functions are impaired. therefore, immortality as in not aging and not dying on your own but still being able to be killed if you are, say, stabbed, implies that that process simply doesn't happen. so we have one of the two: either the cells don't die, or the speed at which they are replaced never changes
in my understanding, this implies that diseases don't affect immortals. maybe they can even contract them, but their body is too strong for it to have an effect. like having a disease without symptoms. but i tend to believe that rather than living with 8945134081 deadly viruses and bacteria inside them just sleeping around, the viruses and bacteria simply can't live inside them - both because superbody means super-immunological system and because superbody means that the bacteria and viruses essentially have no place to grow in, as they can't break their cells or whatever it is that that particular strain does
like - and that is true particularly for viruses as far as i remember, not so much bacteria - the way these mfs work is that they attack the cells of a body and use them to reproduce. but if you are talking about a body that has cells that are essentially unbreakable or so highly regenerative any attack on them is dealt with so quickly it doesn't even have an effect, i don't think any virus should be able to break into their cells in the first place. they would die without reproducing and bam, done. if you are going with the second theory (warlock cells do die, they just can keep replacing them as much as they want without a problem) then you probably have a situation where the virus can reproduce, but its reproduction doesn't lead to any problems because the dead cells are replaced as fast as they are killed. in that case, the warlock would be, technically, carrying the disease indefinitely. but i tend to think that considering how strong that body is and the fact that they have an immunological system (as they are half human and have no reason not to inherit that from their human parents) that is ALSO mega strong would mean these viruses would probably be eliminated quickly
bacterial diseases are different since mostly what bacterias do (again as far as i remember) is that they live inside the body, not necessarily inside the cells, but using the body's space to reproduce, and eventually their presence - usually due to the fact that they produce toxic elements that affect the host - leads to nearby cells dying/the space they are in deteriorating, etc. but again warlock's cells are either essentially unbreakable or highly regenerative, so that wouldn't be a problem, and they could overpower invasive bacteria easily before a colony could form. so, no human bacterial diseases would be able to flourish, either
and that's not even considering the fact that as they are half human they probably have an immunological system that is ALSO superstrong and therefore able to fuck up any disease causers. or the role magic might take in protecting the body, like, who's to say the magic itself doesn't kill any invasive bacteria or viruses that come into the body before it can do anything? why not?
so all of that, allied with the fact that many viruses and bacteria are evolved to develop within the systems of a particular species (for example, that particular virus has evolved to grow in a cow's digestive system, and therefore can't survive for long in a monkey's or a human's), is interpreted by me as "warlocks can't contract human diseases", since warlocks are a different species from humans, as are shadowhunters. sure, they're hybrids, which makes this part of the argument a little more complicated but obviously their demon side is stronger than their human side, since they are immortal. and demons definitely aren't getting rabies or whatever because that is just too fucking lame
so okay! no human STDs. we have established that now. bUT, i think it's possible that warlocks are able to contract their OWN diseases - strains that attack warlocks specifically, particularly a warlock's magic, since again they kind of have a superbody but i feel like the magic is a more fragile thing, especially as they aren't fully magical (because they're half human)
don't ask me how these work <3 obviously magic can interact with non-magical beings and elements so maybe there are bacteria are viruses that developed specifically to settle in magical components, but that sounds like a huge evolutive leap since magic is so different from like, cells. or maybe there are also magical beings that work as disease transmitters in a similar but essentially different way. and they probably can also be transmitted via sex because i mean, why not? sounds as good a mean as any
but, could magnus and alec transmit those to each other? i don't think so, because shadowhunters have wildly different magic from the one warlocks do - their magic is angel magic, warlock's is demon magic, AND, furthermore, they work in completely different ways. for starters, shadowhunters magic is so pathetic diluted that some of them don't even consider it magic at all. i mean, that is also because of good ole racism (hardly the first time racism led people to call the exact same thing by different names so they can convince themselves their way of being is superior even when it is the same) but there is a huge difference because warlocks are able to conjure and interact with magic and have it as a part of their beings and experience of the world through it, whereas shadowhunters can "borrow" particular powers for a small period of time at best. it is possible that the magic doesn't even exist within them, they are just capable of handling it inside their bodies for some time, which is why they need runes to use it and it has a limited effect
so i think diseases that affect warlocks could not be passed between magnus and alec, and WOW is it weird to realize that magnus and alec are of different species. like i knew that but when that knowledge comes to practice it's just so weird. anyway
and idk if diseases that affect warlocks would be able to live dormant inside shadowhunters and then be transmitted because, like i said, shadowhunters have completely different magic if they even have it at all, and i don't think the disease beings that live in warlock magic would be able to be inside their body. so, to answer your first question - i don't think magnus and alec would NEED condoms, because i don't think they are capable of passing STDs to each other, and in at the very least magnus' case (debatable for alec, i tend to think that because shadowhunters are essentially human they can catch any disease humans can, altho maybe they have a rune to begone them) i don't think they can even catch human STDs. and magnus has a cum kink so that probably means no condoms
as for how warlocks deal with STDs! like i said i think they are only affected by STDs (and diseases in general) that affect their magic, not their body. so, they probably have treatments for those. we gotta remember that warlocks have a very developed society full of academics, so they probably have worked to find cures for magical diseases, if they exist at all. so, there are probably particular treatments for those. i don't think magical diseases abound or anything, particularly because the amount of magical beings is pretty limited and magic is so different from non-magical elements so non-magical beings such as viruses and bacteria would have to change a lot to be able to evolve into magic-affecting beings. again, if they even exist. but yeah i think they as a (group of) society(ies) have worked on cures for those. which is funny to think about because like, do they blast the magical diseases with begone rays or something? please say yes. id love that
with all of that being said, i hope u know that i was planning on answering asks the next weekend (not this one, the other one) cuz ive been busy as hell lately and it'll be the first time i'll have time lmao, and i was literally just in a bathroom break between readings when i saw this ask and i just couldn't resist answering it. this is it. what broke my studying resolve. magical STDs. you should be proud
mandatory disclaimer that please for the love of god use condoms, you are not immune to STDs. also, this post is about show canon, not book canon, so i don't care if this is in accordance to what the books say. also, i'm no expert in healthcare, this post is just for fun, so don't take anything i used to build my arguments as scientific truth or anything like that
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wormmomma · 4 years ago
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tyler, the creator: the very queer discography review!!!
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Im bored of writing overly long threads on twitter so i wrote a look at tyler the creators discography and why hes gay and im gay and deserved to have his dick immortalized in gold when he dies. So tyler gregory okanma is a black man born in ladera heights california. He’s also my third favorite rapper and since he discovered my favorite rapper earl sweatshirt I guess he deserves goat status for that shit too. Tyler started his career around 17 years old as the ace the creator. He did features at the time with casey veggies and the inspirations in his flow to mf doom where already apparent even back then. From ace the creator mixtape you can already hear the very digital and jazz inspired pharrell production. Funny story if you look up any of his ace stuff now you'll mostly find some really old production that in the age of tyler the creator type beats doesn't really hold u all that great. From there Tyler went on to create odd futures and his first album bastard. He quite quickly followed up bastard with godlin. Goblin, bastard, and the OF tape vol.1 all feel pretty interconnected so im gonna speed round from worst to best. So odd future tape volume one is fun and punk and really crass, it's also completely eclipsed by odd futures other releases. I love odd future and the collective's ability too be both edgy teen skate rap garbage, and a risky artistic rap collective all at the same time. In odd future's first tape it seems pretty clear that tylers description of the groups early work as a bunch of niggas joking around in a studio is very apparent for better or worse. If you wanna get high with some friends can listen to some funny edgy and downright grimey tracks over left brains booking production skip this and listen to odd future's next mixtape but come back here to listen to some funny skits and a few proto mellowhype track with domo genesis. Goblin is Tyler's attempt to do a bigger darker more sprawling version of bastard but misses the mark. I like the album and I love singles on the album. Goblin the opening track is amazing and is a great look at tylers mental state attempting to live up to his newfound fame and anxiety about his infamy. I love yonkers and tron cat. Tyler says alot at this time that he doesn't make horrorcore and he's correct but the lack of emotional honesty and his immature deflections is really going off on all cylinders. If you dont wanna hear skits like “my bitch suck dick” and lines like “im not homophobic faggot” i would probably call it his worst album. Before i talk about bastard id like to go over his use of slurs and rape in his work. Tylers consistent lyrics about violence towards women and use of the lgbtq community really don't insult me. I feel like his lyrical content is filled with a clear look of how angry and insecure tyler was about not having a father or any way of processing his angst. Did he have to sound like a incel threatening to stalk and murder women who refuse to love him for over 3 albums? No, but i really enjoy looking at his early music. He doesn't shy away from how angry, sad and desperate he was at the time. That synthesis of need for fatherly love, anger from a lack of it and deteriorating mental state honestly makes the content more palatable. Also as a black trans women id rather hear tranny an faggot bars from a male rapper making intreeating music. Tyler at the time was being honest, angry and vulnerable not like eminem and action bronson who spit these bars with all the same rap bravado and violent anger toward women with zero pathos. Bastard is amazing, it's an intimate dark album. At the time it felt like it was tapping right into where I was at the time. The amount of mental anguish on bastards opening track really hit me. I was an angry kid with a lot of angst and bipolar disease so hearing a rapper yell about that same dysfunction really meant alot to me. The flows are amazing and it was a really good look at tylers ability to build a narrative. Wolf was tyler's next album. For a while wolf was my favorite album by tyler. His look at relationships and breakups on bimmer and ifhy are amazing and are expanded on his future releases. Find your wings and treehome are also a good look at his more melodic influence. It was such a good album I actually bought the mrech for and went to see Tyler at afropunk. Also hearing an entire song about the death of his grandma really hit me, my grandfather died around the same time. Cherry bomb was bad, now moving one. Ok im  joking i've listened to it two or three times but its really not worth going back to even though tyler put his all into it. The soul features and amazing production is worth listening to but even Tyler admits he rushed the album a little and that he needed to blow people away next time. Flower boy, is one of the most important albums in hip hop. That's it. Bar none. It was my favorite release of 2018. Flower boy is about tylers newfound isolation with his fame, and how he drives cars by himself in beautiful la vistas. Its also about how he’s gay (or bisexual). There are ALOT of stupid takes on this album. There is a contingency of tyler stans that think tyler has been “playing a character” since bastard. Now I'll admit that wolf haley and dr.teecee are clearly characters; they are also artists' representations of tyler's mental state. If wolf haley has adhd and no father that means tyler also has those issues. So whether or not Tyler is playing a character he has in fact “been kissing white boys since 2004”. I also have seen an insipid article that asks if “tyler the creator should be accepted into the lgbtq community” due to his homophobia? Much more controversial and actually homophobic and transphobic people are in this community hes tyler the creator, not milo yinnaoplous. I also dont think that it occurs to the reviewer that alot of gay men are very hmophobic before they come out and that self hate is very common. Lyrics like “im not gay i just wanna dance to some marvin” also has a much deeper context now. Listening to older releases you can see how in your face tyler was about his queerness. He even said he filmed himself kissing his friend Lucas to prove he wasn't a homophobe. I'm happy Tyler grew enough to make an album not only about being attracted to men but how lonely he felt in and out of the closet. As someone who came out as bisexual at the time it came at a perfect time. Being  gay is isolating and confusing and when you do you lose alot of friends and family. Garden shed, who dat boy, and 911 are real standouts. His collaboration with kali uchis was also so fucking smooth and she a born r&b star. Tyler gained a grammy nomination off the album and said he loved the feeling of finally making popular catchy music people wanna sing the lyrics too, so he followed it with igor. Igor opens with this addendum on the back of the physical album: 
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This might be fiction, this might be about igor but it is fully about tyler okanga. The album is very hard to parse and barely has any rapping. It's more of a pop experimental album with a lot of lofi synth production. Tylers production chops are full force here. Igor is melodic, sad and full of the same anger and obsession from his previous albums. Its just more mature and really gay, and i fucking love it. Tyler was dealing with a tumultuous relationship with a guy and his refusal to be with tyler exclusively. Its about a breakup. A love tragedy that only becomes more depressing after the argument on a boy is a gun, the breakup in my love is gone, and the sad slump back into needing closure in can we be friends. The album is fun to sing to, and fucking devestating. I've dealt with a lot of similar issues with love and obsession so to hear it so clearly illustrated on igor really hit me. I think the album becomes even more depressing with the unreleased track best interest, about tyler being a side nigga. This is the kind of music that's sometimes made in r&b and pop but never in rap. There was an interview where Tyler says he hated his voice which is why he edits it so evident on igor. Tyler also said he wanted to send these songs to rihanna and Justin Beiber but they didn't want them, as cool as it sounds. I'm happy tyler was able to tell his own story. I would also recommend magic wand since it's my favorite track on the album and kicks you in the face with how angry and heartbroken Tyler was at the time. 
Tyler is an artist that talks and speaks about how he feels all the time, he's also a person who feels enigmatic and mysterious somehow. I think it has to do with how constantly he's put to the side of his other hip hop contemporaries. He always seems to be making music Tom weird, controversial and experimental to be treated like asap rocky, vince staples, or the late mac miller. A fact that feels ironic since he worked with all of those artists, lil wayne, and even kanye west. I'm as big a stan for tyler as he is for Pharrell, if it wherent forever I'd never take rap seriously and would never have chosen to make my own music. As a black trans woman I find a lot of tylers work really relatable. I've been in alot of the angry hopeless situations Tyler talks about in his music. I think he's the artist who hits me the most on a personal level and yeah when i was depressed i sat in my bedroom and listened to bastard in my low moments. I like riding in the car and listening to all of flowerboy. Igor is amazing as well for almost half a decade it's been amazing growing up and hitting the same emotional beats Tyler went through5 in his work. Hearing about him coming out as gay ajd dealing with very similar backlash mad me feel less alone if im being honest. Tyler has said he wants to take a more production heavy role in the industry moving forward but he says that a lot, i think as long as he has a story to tell he's always going to make music. His music feels like a diary and I'm happy to read it and sonnet to it in all its beauty and ugliness. 
Hi my name is lua o'reilly i make music on soundcloud.com/wormmother
If you liked this review let me know and I'll do a look into earl sweatshirt.
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ecotone99 · 5 years ago
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[MF] The Reason I Create Gods
Congratulations!
Wow, I have been waiting to say that for a lifetime. Ah, sorry, you must be very confused. You've made it to the end; this is it.
No don't run off, trust me, that's the first thing I did. Wasted a few trillion years doing that. I could hardly believe myself either; who would have thought that there was more? I mean, I still remember those millennia. I, we, were so rambunctious, thinking we owned everything and all that. Nigh immortal, near-infinite cosmic power; a massive far cry from the lives we lived before that. I bet you spent your first few million years observing new and old universes, just to make sure everything you were seeing was real. I'm almost certain the first trillion afterwards was spent in glee and excitement, seeing everything unfold and grow in front of you, any number of times you wanted, while building beings much like yourself at the time. The good old days, they were.
But then, much like some you may have seen during your travels, you faded away; content, or perhaps bored. Normally, and it's a secret between you and me, you would have started everything over again; been the curiosity of another. The only difference is that you would have had to start all over again, with no knowledge or memories. Honestly, it doesn't sound that bad of a deal. Do everything again and again, but always retain the childish curiosity every time...
...
...
Oh, I'm sorry, I spaced out a bit. Right, why you're here.
So, if you remember, you were a universe once. The living beings within and those that died, yada yada yada. You've been through it, I've been through it, and you watched others go through it. After you were "born", though, you probably thought that was the end. "There couldn't possibly be anything more than the manifestation of the one the universe called 'God'," you perhaps thought. Well, actually, I know you thought that, otherwise there would be umptillions more here, other than just us two. But you were special, because amongst all of that noise and curiosity and observation, you had a single thought. It probably only happened once, and it was most likely just a fleeting one. You thought: "What if there was more?"
And so when you faded away, unknowingly ready to begin the cycle, you ended up with me. Think of it the same way you ended up a God, except there was no creation. No, your previous realm, just, happened really, much like this one. I wouldn't think about it too much, or rather, I would. It's a good way to waste some time.
Your new job? Well, eager to start, I see. Good enthusiasm, but do you see all of those? Every single one of those is a God, each watching over their little universe, unaware of where we are. Your job, bluntly, is to watch them. Really nothing has changed for you, except you're now, legitimately, infinitely more powerful.
How many are there? I'd like to keep this as brief as possible, since I've already wasted five billion years just ranting, so I think I'll refrain from wasting some quadrillion just saying the number. You don't ever have to do anything, just sit back and watch.
Why is this a thing? Good question. The short answer is: something absolute needs to observe. Think of it like when you were old and watching rowdy kids that weren't yours. Except you'll never be responsible, since these kids can't fall and scrape their knees.
But I've spent too much time talking. I'll let you get to it.
Huh? Where am I going?
Yes, of course you'll get lonely, but there always has to be at least one.
Because the entire reason I create new Gods is no longer for the sake of observation or curiosity, but rather did so for the hope that someone like you will eventually break the mold and join me, an immeasurable amount of time after I got here. Yes, the main reason I make Gods,
Is that when one comes to greet me, I can finally die.
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ecotone99 · 5 years ago
Text
[MF] The Anniversary: Midnight
(This is a sequel nobody asked for from a short story I posted here.)
Years of training had conditioned me to never let go of my blade. I’ve fallen off horseback, taken arrows to the chest and arms, and endured the shock of cannon fire without the grip on my blade even weakening. That changed tonight, with a single blindside from a presumably drunk—or more likely possessed—driver. It meant that either I was underestimating the force of a car crash or I was getting sloppy. Not that any of that mattered now, as my sword was unsheathed in my hands as I stood upon my overturned vehicle. It was uneven footing, but it gave me a vantage point into the cool darkness of the night.
I spotted the other driver’s vehicle about a dozen feet ahead of me. Like my car, his created an artificial clearing in the underbrush of unkempt grass. Unlike my car, no person came crawling out and I didn’t bother checking. He had a bad habit collecting souls right after he got done using them. My mind quickly flashed to the poor girls in the elevator, or Mr. Johnson at the receptionist’s desk. More casualties brought on by my hubris. I clenched my blade and brought my focus back to myself. Something had changed around me. No nighttime critters peeped. No cars raced by on the nearby highway.
One sound grabbed my attention. As I was looking out on the highway, I heard a faint ‘popping’ in the distance. I investigated with my eyes rather than my legs and saw every streetlight in the distance systematically being put out. I mentally prepared for a fight in the dark by closing my eyes, only to find myself still illuminated. I looked up to see every streetlight but the one I was directly under had been extinguished. My face fell. Always the theatrics with him. I looked forward as the other car’s, and my own, headlights shut off. Silence became as pervasive as the darkness. With nothing more to do, I waited.
Another noise. I didn’t jerk nearly as much as I had before, but it elicited my curiosity. It was the faint fall of footsteps, as if on dead grass. The crunch slowly escalated in sound and tempo, until my opponent finally revealed himself.
He could never stick with a look; when we first met, he looked like a farmer with a skull for a head, complete with a straw hat and rags for clothes. In the 1350s, he looked a plague doctor with rats bustling under his robes. 300 years later, he ditched pretending to be human for his pristine white skeleton with the occasional black cloth. Today, a black jean pant leg emerged from the shadows. I could see a silver chain dangling from the pockets as a black sweatshirt topped off the figure. His names were as numerous as his forms; I’ve heard everything from ‘Grim Reaper’ to ‘Azrael’. Yet, his true name was a massive sign on his emo-punk hoodie. Death.
Two things were always consistent; he never had a face and always bore his scythe. He was fully in the light now, staring at me with a mischievous grin. Now knowing where my opponent was, I cautiously slid off the car and onto level ground.
“I like your choice of arena this year,” he joked, “much better than that house party a few years ago.”
“I wish I could say the same about your outfit, but I don’t.”
“What? It’s not like I could choose what the kid was wearing when he died.”
Typical; every attempt I made to get back at him always blew up in my face. But a child? He was coming at me with a child’s body. My rage took over and I decided to rush him then and there.
“Finally! It’s not like we’re here to chit-chat.”
He dodged the first strike with a simple back step and responded by swinging his scythe in turn. I jumped the arcing blade while twisting backwards, creating more distance between us. Ours was a dangerous dance; one strike on either side would immediately decide the victor. Death’s physical form was far frailer than one would expect, until you consider that a creature with the ability to instantly kill and animal with a touch wouldn’t need much defense. Only Death could come back after I slayed him; an ability I sorely lacked.
Thus we danced. Apart from a few ambitious attacks followed by desperate escapes, the battle mostly consisted of me staying at the bare reach of his scythe. Our weapons of choice only added to the dance. The scythe has far more reach than my sword, but as soon as I can get inside its hook, he has no defenses. That’s what I tried to do now, by parrying his blade upward in an attempt to get under it. But Death was faster. He backpedaled and twisted the scythe to point downward before slamming the blade like a lever. I realized his intentions moments before they came to fruition and dived to my right. I rolled in the grass, and in a last ditch effort, I threw my sword at the pale figure. He was extending the fight on purpose in order to drain my stamina, so I needed to end this as soon as I could.
I failed. I deflated as I saw the reaper deflect the tip of my blade with the shaft of his scythe. He crouched low and extended his scythe outward, before pouncing on me.
“After all these years! You got cocky! And now it’ll cost ya!”
He was airborne now, and racing towards me with masochistic intent. Closer and closer, I felt my heart racing. The very thing I drove off and feared for centuries was finally coming for me. That had been my plan, and it wasn’t supposed to end this way.
And it didn’t.
Death crumpled to the ground before my feet. One of my knives, which I retrieved stealthily from my coat while he prepared his lunge, was embedded in his skull. It was been my plan all along; bait him into a false sense of security by throwing my weapon, only to get him with a small throwing knife. Despite my rigorous planning, that lunge, to say it didn’t terrify me to the point of almost losing my nerve would be nothing short of a lie. But now I stood victorious once again in a contest I lost count of. I looked down at the skeleton, its body and clothes fading.
“Well, you got me. Whoo who! That was fun! Let’s do it again next year!”
“Or not.”
The disintegration instantly ceased. Death, now only a skull and upper arm, stared at me in confusion.
“What? You want to die now?”
“Well, no—”
“Well that’s how the deal works. You beat me in a duel once a year and if you win you get another year to live. If you refuse to fight me then that’s it. You’re done.”
“It’s just, I wanted to propose a different game. With higher stakes.”
The disintegration reversed. Faster than it had been going otherwise. In moments his body was fully formed and he rose back to his feet, staring at me with a different caliber of intensity. His whole atmosphere was different. More serious, more composed. More deadly.
“Higher stakes than your mortal soul?”
“We’ve been doing this a while Death. I’m sick of it. I want to end it with a bigger game, and win or lose, you get my soul in the end.”
Death stroked his chin and carefully considered. He looked at me with newfound interest, and nodded his head for me to continue.
“I propose a 24 hour duel. From this moment on, for 24 hours, you are allowed to do whatever is in your power to kill me, except outright reaping my soul. Possess who you want, cause as much destruction as you dare, and if you kill me, I’m yours. But if I survive, then no more duels. I want to live a normal life without you stalking me on the anniversary of my death.”
“So if you win, you want to just live? No immortality? Just as a man?”
“Yes.”
I could tell he was mulling it over in his head. He paced a bit, cocking his head back and forth. He looked at me one last time and extended his hand towards me, in an effort to shake my hand. I responded my narrowing my eyes and raising an eyebrow. Then he threw his head back and let out an ear-cracking chuckle.
“I thought it would be that easy! You got yourself a deal!”
He laughed some more, before he disappeared with a blast, I was knocked off my feet, wondering now if this was as good an idea as I thought. I was breathing heavy, but another noise took over the night. Somewhere in the distance, a bell tolled once.
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