#like maybe they're just. soulmates. without having to label it

[coachbeards]

am i allowed to say that i don't think they made t/r soulmates for........nothing ? lmao? like . i think it's very purposeful that they're twin flames who helped each other in ways they both needed? they had a beautiful bond that shaped both of them throughout the show (imo, it shaped rebecca more than it did ted but. still) like.....they're soulmates because they're deeply intertwined and they do love each other, and it's not like their bond was wasted because they weren't romantic, you know?

[flamevbirdv]

my favorite podfics: stevetony ❣️

Out of all the ways fandom creates transformative works, one of my favorites is podfics, so I want to rec some. I'll start with stevetony because these were the ones that started my love for podfics. Enjoy!

I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you by Mizzy, read by badfinch (Badfinch1): MCU

Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD. This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man. Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Do It Over by Sineala read by miss_marina95: 616

The last words your soulmate says to you are written on your skin, and you won't know who they are until they die. The thing is, Steve and Tony die a lot.

I Always Have to Steal My Kisses from You by blue_jack read by Annapods: MCU

Okay, so Tony probably hadn’t realized what he was doing. He’d just had a near-death experience, and the kiss had been a way to . . . reaffirm his life. Deal with his emotions. Release some steam. Something like that. Nothing to be concerned about, and it’s doubtful that it’ll happen again. The fact that they risk their lives on a regular basis isn’t worrying at all.

Four (Or Five) Reasons for Kidnapping Tony Stark by scifigrl47 read by Hananobira: MCU

There are four reasons for kidnapping Tony Stark. Tony's sick of all of them. Well, there's potentially a fifth, but it's highly unlikely that Captain America will suddenly fulfill THAT fantasy. Tony's deeply disappointed about that. Steve Rogers, as always, is oblivious. At least, that is, until someone who isn't him kidnaps Tony. Then he's just pissed.

The Most Amazing Things (Some Terrible Lie), by copperbadge read by cookiemom6067: MCU

Tony's decision not to reveal his identity as Iron Man to the world was shrewd and calculated. Too bad it's about to backfire on him like a Jericho missile.

Never Too Late For Love by Sineala read by Cathalinareads: Ultimates

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one. Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in. And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

Bonus:

Robot Trip by copperbadge read by blackglass: MCU

Steve Rogers & Tony Stark background Tony Stark/Pepper Potts

"Tony is driving from Malibu to Manhattan with a robot in the back seat and Captain America riding escort at Pepper's behest. What could possibly go wrong?"

[willowser]

pls more touya soulmate au!! your tags have me dying, it’s just all so tragic 🥹🥹

isn't it !!!

and what if — it's not you that's hesitant. it's him.

(tw: domestic abuse—not from touya—and suicidal ideation ?? idk how this happened, i'm sorry LOL)

i picture you as — the child of some socialite. your mother's family has always been wealthy, been involved in — let's say — designing hero costumes. haute hero fashion, or something. your mother hosts a lot of events and parties you're expected to attend and your family is well known. elites.

you're engaged to a man everyone thinks is your soulmate — but you know he's not. not because he's only with you for your money or because he hits you, but you feel nothing for him. not even a smidgen. pity, maybe, if you had to assign a label to it. there are no sparks or butterflies in your stomach, not like there used to be; now the only drop of your gut is from his fist.

it's only because of such violence that dabi even approaches you. initially because he plans to smite your little fiancé to nothing, but the strike across your cheek is over and done with before he's able to get out of the shadows, cast with a quickness that only shows your fiancé's knack for being discrete. you're left shivering and bruised on the balcony of some fancy hotel, looking out over the skyline as the party continues without a hitch behind the french doors.

"should ice that." he rasps, still hidden, though it doesn't seem to matter; you don't even spare him a glance. "will bring down the swelling."

you hum, leaning far over the edge as your hair blows in the wind. "they won't notice," he's heard your voice, sure, but it's never been spoken to him and he hates the grip it gains on his chest. "and if they do, then they won't care."

"sounds pretty fucked to me."

at that, you laugh, slipping out of your designer heels and bunching up your designer dress so that you can climb up onto the ledge, wavering as you hold your arms out. the sight makes him sick, draws him out of the shadows with his hands into fists, sweat beginning on the back of his neck.

dabi comes to stand right behind you and — you look like some kind of angel, wrapped in the golden city lights from far below. saliva pools in his mouth because he could gag; at himself, at the worry pooling in his stomach. even a dark thought crosses his mind, one that confirms everything he's been trying to deny: would be my soulmate that killed themselves right in front of me.

"get the fuck down."

you shrug, which is awful, and you still haven't looked at him so he doesn't even know if this shit is real. maybe he's having some kind of allergic reaction or his heart is giving out finally or something. no way to tell for sure until he sees your face, until he sees whatever crosses it.

whatever you murmur gets lost in the whipping wind — but he thinks it sounds like nobody would even notice.

he grabs you so fast, arms fitting around the curve of your waist like they were made to. you're spun around to face him and he nearly loses it, wide-eyed as he watches you watch him. sure, he's seen you a dozen and a half times by now, but not this close, never this close.

the grip you have on his shoulder tightens, but he doesn't think you realize it, and the way you're cataloging him, learning him; how bad are his burns today? some days they're more swollen than others. some days they are still too fresh and his skin is peeling a little bit. some days he hasn't fully burned through and he's left with these ugly fucking scabs and—

"hello," you say quietly, smile growing, eyes soft. "there you are."

and he lets go at once, because now that this is in front of him, he realizes how much he doesn't want it. can't have it anyway, not in this life.

todoroki touya would've been your soulmate, sure. you, with your money and your social status and prominent family name. universe got that part right when you were made, when your future was being planned.

you seem unbothered by him, though, steadying yourself as your breath hitches. "didn't think you existed out there."

"i don't," he grunts, stretching out his hands to feel the pull of his skin. it hurts and it grounds him, keeps him from stopping his retreat.

too bad touya died a long time ago.

[woopeee]

like. like. majormoon yaoi anon once again hiiii

but like. like. where do i even start, ive explained this ship so many times to sm ppl. its hard to keep track of where the start of the explanation would be-

Imma start by covering up Life Series concepts here... will get into Empires and a funny AU i have later on... NOTE: i JUST realized seasons go autumn -> winter not winter -> autumn, so lets just imagine either its the other way around for some reason or maybe the games happen across different years or the watchers use time shenanigans n stuff IDK!!

Last Life: cottagecore queers. they started as friends, sure, they're best friends, but best friends who kiss, hold hands, cuddle together, cook together, stick to eachother like glue istg. AND I REPEAT !! KISS!! SURE SMALL PECKS BUT THATS NOT VERY FRIEND LIKE !! ive read many queerplatonic galaxy duo fanfics, but i think they're just romantically crushing on eachother and w time their relationship quickly escalated and neither of them wants to ask the big "what are we?" question. (plus, I hc every season of the series happens in a different season of the year, maybe in different years?? idk cause i didnt count for 3rd life but i dont think it would count as spring... ANYWAYS Last Life happens in Summer, for angst purposes)

Double Life: I don't wanna talk too much abt their relationship in DL cus it makes me so mentally ill, reminds me of sum personal lore in my life I wont get into, but I still love em. I hc soulmates have some shared features w their soulmates, different for everyone, like these two have the ends of their hair the color of the others hair. after the "divorce" Pearl tried to cut off that teal part but the ends just gew upwards, like the teal part just appeared in his new ends when moon cut off the old ones, so at the end he just used red dye to dye em red. Also I feel like they lowkey miss eachother even if both are too stubborn to talk to eachother and at least try to fix things. (winter. winter freezes. often killing all that in summer grew green)

Limited Life: Oh hoh ho... the drama is back but the toxicity is gone. frienemies, exes, a bit petty still but can joke about it for a lil, have forgiven eachother but at times still feel resentment. they live very far away, yet when they interact in person, if things are 1o1 and there isnt any of their allies nearby, gosh can the tension be cut with a knife. not only tension in the way or anger, but sometimes just being awkward around eachother, sometimes homosexual tension, sometimes homoerotic tension- (half joke, i wont talk abt nsfw stuff but theyre adults). They stare at eachother from across the room thinking either "i wanna punch you so bad" or "i would so go and kiss you right here right now", or both. However theyre still fairly friendly, its not the same as *Our Last Summer*, since they'll maybe pull petty pranks on eachother, specially the Nosy Neighbors on Mean Gills, with Pearl mostly having Scott's ever so slightly upset reaction, if even to get a groan or frown from him, tho he doesnt hate her anymore, its not like winter, thats in the past. Autumn comes and makes leafs fall... it gets rid of the dead waste of what winter killed, preparing for Spring...

Secret Life: ... for a new beginning. Spring comes along, a new, more lighthearted game at the start. After going through so much stuff together, everything they've overcome, "That's in the past" "It was a one time thing?" "Yeah, yeah" "Well, I'm glad we agree... glad we can move past that". And they start again, blank page, althrough clearly stained by past moments, they can look back at them fondly and joke around about it without hard feelings. Not only that, but they finally make up their minds, both of them get their shit together and can finally label their relationship, make it official... tho whats a game about secrets without some secrets of their own? So at first, with a bit of fear of what their allies would say, but also just in a way to keep privacy and get a laugh out of others confusions, they meet up in secret. Secret meetings at night or when their allies are out, whispering to eachother and giving eachother accomplice looks, finding hiden spots to sit down and talk. They're plenty suspicious in plain sight, but with all the reasons there could be for them to be hiding something? Maybe theyre up to no good! Maybe they're plotting destruction! Maybe its got to do with their tasks! Yeah, it drives the yellows mad in particular, trying to guess their tasks just to be told it couldnt be further from correct or that they already complited theirs. Now some participants are a bit oblivious, but others can put 2 and 2 together pretty quickly... they'd keep their mouths shut tho, cause seeing the others lose their mind trying to uncover their "plans" is quite the funny sight. Maybe some would get a push like a little knudge from Cleo "They're dating, Bdubs" "... OHHHH, SO THATS WHY". The Roomies all know for sure, Impulse suspects, to Gem and the Mounders it never crossed their minds, unsure about others tbh but thats what I know for sure. But yeah! Maybe at first they'd have a "Bad Idea" (from Waitress) moment, tho that song also could fit an ""afair"" in LimL from what ive talked with a friend, but yeah. They're destined to die anyways, since the finale means only one can win, and that winner is neither of them, but they'll meet in the next game. Tilly next time. Or, Tilly death does them part...

... except not, cause not even death can do that, cause they are able to find eachother in every single universe, no matter the circumstances, even if their situation isnt ideal in some, they're always together, in one way or another. MajorMoon yaoi anon dropping the anon. Shameless Scottearl posting today!! Let's go rom Galaxy Duo Truthers!!!

Youre getting your own tag /silly

[hippielittlemetalhead]

Just rewatched Gran Turismo and like... listen... Envision with me

Jann - Steve Harrington

Jack - Hopper (duh 🙄)

Antonio and Matty - Eddie (British like J Quinn. Still trailer Park kid but damn good at the GT game which he bought the gear for with a mix of honest work and his illicite substances side-gig. Had a pipe-dream of being in the music industry but then the GT event happened that he saw as his chance to make something of himself and pay his uncle back for taking him in. He's devastated when he gets eliminated but is snatched up as part of a team for another racing company thingamajig. He bought his uncle a nice flat that he also stays at and is talking with his garage band about maybe seriously pursuing music in his off-season or driving for a few years for the massive paycheck while putting feelers out and only doing music full-time if a label is interested.) and Billy (Australian like Dacre. I know some of y'all hate that boy with a passion but bear with me okay? I have my reasons. Victim of abuse from a parent who used the GT event to get himself and later his little sister out of that situation. And turns out said little sister is Mad Max, an online gaming friend of the Party's. He's rough around the edges at first but that's because this is his best shot at escaping his abuser and saving his sibling from the same fate. They're both out from under Neil's thumb by Les Mans and he's happier, more relaxed, just softer in general and great with the kids when they start harassing Eddie and Billy about being at the GT camp with Steve)

Audrey - Robin (Platonic with a Capital P 😘)

Persol, Coby, assorted friends - The Party and Nancy and Jonathan and them

Steve and Lesley Mardenborough - Mr. and Mrs. Harrington (make them shitty parents all around for the sake of fic, no redemption. Steve had been disowned for being queer and not wanting to go to his dad's Alma Mater and was living with Robin as flatmates. His mom occasionally sent money without his dad noticing and if they weren't hurting for rent or groceries he'd put most of it in savings and use the rest for gear for the racing game the kids had gotten him into. The GT event is a way to show his parents up and help take care of Robin and pay back the kid's parents who had all helped him get on his feet when he was first kicked out)

Danny Moore - Joyce (Jopper would happen of course but kind of a frenemies to lovers situation) worries about choosing Steve because he's close to her youngest but Hop brings up how if he thought she was seriously trying to favour Steve for the sake of her kids he would fight her on it and that eases her worries.

Capa and Schulin- Tommy and Jason

Murray would be that one pit crew guy who calls Jann "noob"

Jonathan and Nancy still have complicated history with Steve but they get along for the sake of the Party kids and the two strong arm their way onto Steve's PR team despite being college students cause Steve confessed in one of the 'older kids' group chats to being shaken up being flown about place to place all on his own surrounded by strangers who's jobs rely on him doing well on the track and in front of the camera.

El is Hop's daughter and brought on as Pit Crew. She's Steve's biggest fan after Dustin. Steve flies Robin in for his signing event and the first race after that. Platonic Soulmates no matter the universe!!

Not sure if I'd have a romantic pairing for Steve in this one? Robin would of course fall for Eddie's best friend Chrissy he brings with him when they come together for the Les Mans 24 hr race. I can be a Steddie, Harringrove or Stoncy (NOT just Stancy. I have my reasons) person depending on the fic and just... Idk where I'd take this?

[scmethingsweet]

❝ lets just go with his being bold. it would be a real shame if he turned out to be just some new idiot added to the many that already live here. lets be real keegan and his friends probably wanted to set him up to fail. we both know they're just a group of assholes. ❞ jordan never allowed anyone to get to her growing up. even when the bullying got bad she told herself that they weren't worth her time , and it made her into the strong woman she is now. ❝ well i will admit he definitely knew what he was doing. for only kissing girls i will say that he was a decent kisser. you know you're always going to be my number one , my ride or die , my soulmate outside of the romantic stuff. however this time you may just have to take second place. ❞ a teasing smirk forming upon fem's lips as she answers the male's question. ❝ maybe when it comes to guys that can be true , but i believe we're pretty spot on when it comes to women. don't act like if some girl i made out with that you thought was attractive came up to you and wanted to make out with you that you'd say no just because they made out with me before. ❞ being kissed by females he is interested in happened from time to time but not because she seeked for it to happen. ❝ well there isn't anything wrong with being causal with a person without labels. people do it all the time. ❞

“ he's either very bold or an idiot, who kisses someone with zero idea if they'd actually be in to it? ” brown eyes roll at the prospect, though he still can't help the smile lingering on his features at the thought of jordan needing to go along with it. “ the important question is, as your experience of kissing guys goes was he better or worse than me? ” words joke, unsure the whole situation was comparable to what classed as a kiss when they were kids. “ maybe, but it doesn't feel like a great sign, i'm not sure we're really the same type. besides, you've already made out with him, it's weird. ” he teases, head shaking gently. " anyway, you know my success rate for going after someone is basically zero when i don't even know if we're on the right page gender-wise. ”

[payongdahon]

kumpas : figuring out who's your soulmate; PAC reading <3

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 1 ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 2 ˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 3

— [♡] hello everyone! it's been more than a week since my last reading since i had to take a little break. today's reading means compass in filipino, and it hints to you figuring out who your soulmate is, and do with this information as you will once. you have met your soulmate or need to figure it out. as always, this is all for entertainment, and your life is still with yours to explore. ♡

also, pics are not mine! they are from tears of themis, howls moving castle & your lie in april (i have not listed the cards in this reading as well since as i'm quite sleepy)

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 1

— [♡] you might have experienced love at first sight with your soulmate, or vice versa. some of you had a profound or special meeting as well. maybe you met on a special day, special event, special moment, where it seems like time stopped. your judgement or intuition seems to have heightened ever since. your soulmate must be really close to. you because they lift the burdens from your heart, and they don't make you beg or ask for the love you deserve. they are there, ready to give you the attention you need with an open heart and mind at any time. it's almost like time slows down (in a good way) when you're with them, and this soulmate makes you open with your emotions, while they seem to keep theirs on the down-low most of the time. and they are more of a domestic person and are very hard-working and skilled at their works. they seem to have been through a lot in the past as well, even though they're such a lovely person, they seem to be a people pleaser. so please, dear reader, show them what love is like without asking for anything back. it would mean the world to them. ♡

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 2

— [♡] your relationship with your soulmate is quite fascinating. it makes you feel everything everywhere all at once (pun not intended) like, they're probably someone that teases you a lot or is a little cold towards you then hits you like a truck when they're warmhearted. but at the same time, their presence relieves you, but it also makes you lose focus. they also make you experience new things and force you to get out of the harmful things for you one way or another. some of them do it unconsciously but they do genuinely care about you and get worried, but would rather take it to their grave than admit it. they can't just stay in one place forever, but would gladly make that exception for you, because they now think of you as your home. also, bonus; they're also the type to do this post

˚₊· ͟͟͞➳ pile 3

— [♡] you seem to have known your soulmate for a while. they tend to put yourself before their self and they give, and i mean give a LOT of their time, energy, and self to you. for some of you, your soulmate is also oblivious to their own feelings and just sees their magnetism or attraction to you as normal, but they act like you're their world. you've got a lot of memories with eachother and you may have been wishing for this romance for a really really long time. for those of you who's soulmates who are aware of their feelings or soon will be aware of them, they really see their future with you in it. every plan that they make, every step that they take is all planned with you in mind. they're really careful too, and you might notice their thought patterns as well; remembering that you don't like this or that, this makes you the most comfortable, you're the type of person who likes this— hey wait a second, didn't you mention you liked this that one night 7 months ago? they really, really love to but they don't know how to label it or outright say it. their love for you is so pure, they just see you as a wonderful person, too wonderful for this world. <3

[theangryjikooker]

What’s your theories on the maknae line dynamic? I keep feeling like there’s this weird off-balance feeling with them, not necessarily a tension but just a strange lack of clicking? I don’t know, it’s really odd and I think it’s a situation that could invite some tension vibes but I have no clue why (I don’t think any of them are dating each other btw). I don’t notice it when there’s another person with them, though. Like Hobi for an example. It might explain why we literally never hear of the three of them hanging out alone.

Well, I don't think it's a matter of "are they or are they not close?" because I think they're all naturally close due to their circumstances. I don't think you can share that significant of an experience without cultivating the kind of relationship they all have. They're as much family as they are friends, and yet their bonds transcend those labels at the same time.

So for me, it's not a matter of closeness that's the issue but rather their interests and "where they're at" in their lives.

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not discussing this with any romantic undertones in mind (there isn't any as far as I'm concerned, anyway):

As with any group, if two people are in the same stage of their lives (which could mean many things), you might see those two gravitate more towards one another. They may not be interested in specifically the same things, but if they wanted to explore new experiences, for example, those two people might do that together. This is what I think is happening with Taehyung and Jungkook, which is what I suspected a long while ago. I think where they're at in their lives are converging in a way that their interests are similarly aligned.

Several people have asked me about Jikook's dynamic, which I think this would be better served for their asks, but to summarize: I think their relationship has just... graduated. But before anyone passionately agrees with this assessment, I don't strictly mean it in the way that it sounds. I'll elaborate later when I get to those asks.

Again, Vmin is more of an interesting case to me. They remind me of the common example of friends who don't see each other for years but can reconnect like no time has elapsed. I feel like they fulfill each other's needs (e.g., physical affection) in a way the other members can't, but I think they're also wildly different people. I do believe they think of each other as soulmates and relate to each other in a way that they don't with the others, but I think the fans' ideas of "soulmates" has gotten a little too mixed into what that might mean for Vmin. I think Taehyung and Jimin's hearts are the same, but their general interests don't really seem to overlap right now aside from maybe gaming. I don't think this makes them not close, but it sometimes feels like there's a weird dissonance happening when there most likely isn't because there's an expectation that they should be close because they're self-titled soulmates.

I don't really like to get into this here because this topic seems to cause psychotic breaks en masse, but I'm perhaps one of the few people who think there is merit to Taennie–even on a surface level. The Taennie rumor has more substance than Jikook and Taekook combined, sorry not sorry. And this is pure assumption, but I wouldn't be surprised if Taehyung and Jungkook bonded on that and their experiences (I won't get into this because some of you are not ready for this conversation and what it implies, but because this blog is also centered on the idea that Jikook has potential, I wouldn't share it here even if I wanted to).

Maknae line hanging out as a trio is where the light bulb is still off for me. It's not that they have to hang out together because if we're looking at OT7, there are a few combinations that don't seem to hang out as much (or at all) compared to the others, and it's not like they're somehow less close (this is idiotic thinking and anyone who entertains this is pathetic).

Honestly, at the end of the day, I think the true nature of the OT7 dynamic and how they are as individuals would break the minds of ARMYs. Too often people forget how human they are and how the perception of them on Twitter/Tumblr/wherever is only as close to what we've been allowed to see.

[potatopossums]

i have so many complicated fears right now.

aro, ace, and agender

these are the words that most closely describe who i am, still without being totally or consistently correct all the time. they're the closest words i have.

I'm divorced. i discovered i was queer in a cishet marriage. i have discovered so many things about myself since then.

one thing i do know is that relationships are scary. I've been in many, and i have trauma from nearly all of them. my mind is hard on me. i blame myself for so much.

i don't know how to navigate this friendship i have.

on one hand, you could call it queerplatonic. maybe a romantic friendship. maybe a lesbian companionship. maybe a whole host of other words. i wouldn't really call her my girlfriend no matter how many times we kiss or have sex or hold hands or cuddle or cry together. i don't have an aversion to that word, but given the context of our relationship, given that we are openly just doing things as they come and walking together in this strange queerness, i don't think girlfriend really describes her at all to me. she is my friend. the someone i like to admire and see, especially when she doesn't notice. i like to think about us in a home somewhere, separate but together, free and connected, companions without coercion or force. there have been times i looked at her and just knew she was so pretty and beautiful that i wanted to be married to her. I've had many dreams that we were young and married, in the most queer way i can imagine, in a way i cannot possibly explain, one that makes sense to me without ever having a wedding ceremony, like we were just always married, like we just looked at each other and held hands and were married as friends and that was that. she doesn't feel like a soulmate, but she does feel important.

and when it comes to the rest of the world, outside my own head, i don't know how to navigate any of that. i don't know how to really explain it to anyone, say it aloud, or even walk through the world this way. i know how I feel, and i don't know if the world will ever get it. i just like my companions. i like my buddies. there's no word for her that works right. there's never a word that works just right. she has short blonde hair that frames her face in a bob and she smiles the best in green and i love it when she comes out of her shell and is her whole self.

she's thinking of moving a state away, and that was a moment that scared me. i was already scared when we had sex again after agreeing not to. i don't want my same tragedy to reoccur, like my old marriage rearing it's ugly head. i don't want my traumatized self to come out and hurt her. i know there are so many things in me that are afraid. i don't want to lose a friend. I've had dreams of living with her almost since we met, just because it seemed like she would be someone I'd enjoy seeing regularly. i have fears about long distance relationships. i have fears about all of the things that could possibly happen.

it is so much and i never really expected to feel the things i do now. i never expected to really be here. it's not the same as i would have wanted years ago. it's closer to what i really want now. but it's also just confusing. there's no blueprint, no map. i followed all the markers and waypoints for cishet alloromantic allosexual monogamy. i did everything right and it didn't work for me. i don't know how to follow this new path. society did not teach me how to forge my own path. i am afraid. i want things to go well. i want to feel close to people. i want to feel appreciated and loved. i want to feel free and love myself. i want to feel connected to myself and others. how i accomplish that here, i do not know. all i know how to do is to be honest. regardless of how i label any of it anymore. i can only be as honest as possible. and that is scary.

imagine showing someone the worst parts of you. she sees me as gentle, wise even. i know what to say when she is struggling. I've been through enough therapy that it's starting to stick. but i still know there are things deep in me, things i don't like. i don't ever want to hurt her. i don't want to lash out. i don't want to treat her poorly. she deserves so much better than that.

we talked about dancing like idiots at a wedding. not at ours, but at someone else's. i don't know if i ever want to have a wedding in any traditional sense. i want it to just be us choosing. i don't want other people's opinions about our love or matrimony or couplehood or anything else. i don't want in-laws, i don't want to be forced to like anyone or get along with anyone. i don't want to separate her from her family, nor do I want to hide her from mine. i think my mom would love her. i think my mom would love to see me happy. i want us to be individuals who choose to spend our time together, not doing so out of any sense of obligation. i want us to choose that always, every time. never forced. i want us to show up exactly how we want, each of us. i want us to be able to back up and out if needed. i want us to feel what we feel without shame or guilt or embarrassment. i just want us to exist how we are, and i really hope that can still be together sometimes. i want us to walk together sometimes. maybe a lot. as often as feels good for both of us.

[itshesdimples]

-Hello to anyone reading. This is my first time writing something and putting it out for the world to see. That being said, I would love any constructive criticism you have to give me. Thank you for any support you may give me, I cant thank you enough xoxo ~H - 

I remember the day as if it were yesterday; the day you crossed the unimaginable line. 

I thought we had everything, I thought I was your everything. 

2 MONTHS AGO

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

You were a little worried, seeing as you two had been together for a little over nine months and it was extremely rewarding. The time apart has always been different to the other relationships she had been in the past but with Harry it seemed like more than she had ever received from the previous men. 

As a surgical intern you work countless hours and never really get more than a few hours to yourself, so when you met Harry you really never saw it going anywhere. You were just too happy for your own good, openly expressing your life to perfect strangers and expecting them all to be accepting of who you are.

* 9 MONTHS AGO* 

The hospital you worked at allotted 80 hours a work week and as hopeful as you may be feeling, there is a little voice in the back of your head telling you not to go bar hopping. "Just one drink and then water." you emphasize to your good friend Mike, the bartender. 

"Vodka soda coming right up, Dr. Demanding." He chuckles. You turn around in the chair and stare at all the fellow drunks, looking for your intern comrades who should be here by now. 

Although you dont find your friends, you spot a very handsome, familiar face coming toward you. Admiring the face across from you, you decide to take the first step following by the downing of your vodka soda. " You dont seem to be familiar with the very famous bar here in town so you must not be from around here," you tease, holding out your hand to shake. "I'm [Y/N]. Not to sound weird but have we met before?" You get a very bold feeling of deja vu but laugh it off. "I'm sorry, my friends are supposed to be here by now and I'm socially handicapped, sometimes I dont know when to stop talking." Now you're just rambling at the breathtaking man in front of you and feeling red in the cheeks. 

"Its alright love, I sometimes feel socially handicapped around exquisite women such as yourself. Actually, that sounded like you're one of hundreds but I-- what I meant to say was that, you seem a little lonely. Can I buy you a drink?" He rambles, tugging at his jacket. 

"I am only allowed one drink, I know it sounds weird but I'm on a ticking time bomb, you see this?" You pull out your pager, "any moment this thing will go off and I have to skip back to work like a dreamy little school girl but inside I am dying of starvation, need a beer and twenty hours sleep." You just keep spitting up word vomit and your face is permanently pink but you just cant stop because what if it gets quiet? Now that's when it gets awkward.

"I don't think we have ever met because I'd remember you" Harry confirms, looking you up and down your shapely body. "What do you do for a living that has you on such a tight leash?" Taking a sip of his beer, he stands up and walks next to the chair you're sitting in. 

"Surgical intern, Dr. [Y/L/N] at your service, sir." You cant help but crack a little bit of the tension you have building up in your stomach while talking to him but that doesn't stop you from staring him in the eyes and trying your best to flirt. 

The aura around him is too intoxicating, too much to handle without trying to add a little humor in the mix. "I like it when you call me sir, Dr. [Y/L/N] but how long have you been a doctor? I'd love to get to know you before you have to leave me." He articulates, trying to captivate her attention.

"I love my job but it has been a long winded road, it feels like years but I've only been a real doctor for a little over two months. It takes a lot out of me but that is why I'm glad I have two great friends who I can lean on. We keep each other afloat and they're also my roommates. I don't know where I would be without them." All of that poured out of my mouth before I had the chance to cork it but I couldn't help telling him something about myself that was at least surface level.

He just seems like an eerie case of the best illusion I've ever seen. I cant help but shake the feeling that I've known him all my life, like telling him the ins-and-outs of my life wouldn't be detrimental to my health. 

"Now tell me something about yourself. For starters maybe your name? I've never seen you here before and I'm here all the time so I'm pretty good at knowing who is an out of towner, and I don't know how much time I have left." You're trying to get to know him and that is so unlike you. Having had boyfriends in the past, you were never the one asking the questions or wanting to get to know them more than a few dates and drinks. The longest relationship you have ever had was two months and you two went to high school together. 

"Hi I'm Harry, and I don't know how much longer I get to sit next to you so please can I have your number, sunshine? I would love to take you for dinner sometime soon." Harry is going out on a whim asking for your phone number but keeps going, "From what I have gathered you are a very busy woman and I admire that, love it even. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like I know you already and I have never felt that with another person so please give me a chance, I will work around your schedule. I dont care what it--" he is stopped when your pager goes off as an emergent patient being admitted, all hands on deck you assume. 

"Sunshine, huh? I like it." You wink at him and ask Mike for a pen so you can scrawl your number on a napkin and thank Harry for a very pleasant chat. It was good to know that he felt for you, as you did him after just meeting the man, and his nickname for you was adorable. 

For the next two weekends you spent getting to know Harry on a personal note. He told you he loved writing music, performing and was already an amazing talent. Harry showed you his latest music and you wondered how you hadn't connected the dots sooner. You knew he was a very private person, as he told you on your first date. 

(FLASHBACK)

"I'd love to get to know your friends, and see what kind of person you are. I can't wait to know you but I just want you to know that I can't have a lot of people knowing what is going on in my personal life." He sighs, you two sat down at dinner and he couldn't help but spit out what he wanted to tell you when you first met. "I don't want to sound pretentious or come off as someone who cares about his appearance to others but I have to tell you that I make music for a living and have quite the lot of fans. Screaming fans to be exact, " he chortles, asking the waiter for a bottle of wine to start off, "but I can't help but love them all. They made my career but I have to remain a private person. I adore my fans but they are very protective and I don't want our relationship to struggle because of a few of them saying unkind things." He grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes, trying to make you understand the reason for privacy.

"I've never met anyone like you Harry and I meet a lot of people on the regular. You have this way about you that draws me in and I want to get to know you. If that means that I cannot post my gushing about you on social media, so be it. I really like you and would like to know who you are." You declare, hoping he understands that he as a person means more than everyone understanding her lifestyle choices. 

(END OF FLASHBACK) 

Tonight was the night you knew you wanted to understand him on an even more personal level. You knew that the way you felt for him wasn't a normal crush, wasn't even a normal type of love. You knew he had the power to hurt you if he wished to do so but that was so far in the back of your mind. He meant so much to you already that it didn't matter you two were keeping your relationship a secret from most of the world, apart from a select few. It was the best date of them all, Harry cooked you and your best friends dinner so when you got off work, dinner was on the table. He was always so thoughtful of your needs and you thought it was the time to prioritize his.

"Take me to bed Harry." You whimper, "I want you." 

*7 MONTHS LATER* 

Things were hectic in your life but that was the way they always were but now it seemed like days stretched past 24 hours and turned into a marathon sprint that never ended. 

The day Harry unmistakably broke you was the day that sleep had everything on you. Going for days on end was something you were accustomed to but after he cut you deeper than you could ever be, sleep seemed to be your only friend. 

You thought you knew him better than anyone. He was your Harry, your everything, even your person maybe? 

But when his decision to take his career to the next step interfered in your relationship, your life; that was the day to call it quits no matter the devastation. He may have been your soulmate but maybe, just maybe it wasn't right. The timing, the place of it all was just too much. Your life just didn't have room for much else, especially someone who was willing to hurt you unimaginably and not walk away in order to lessen the blow. 

*2 WEEKS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE *

"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.

"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.

That was two hours ago and within those two hours you knew it was best to stay off your phone. You keep telling yourself to not look for anything leading you to clues about his voice mail. It wasn't like him to express his feelings over the phone, he was an in person 'declare-my-love-for-you' type of man so when you listened to it you thought it was best to stay off your phone. 

Trailing off to the shower in pursuit of getting to work, you hear your phone's inescapable shrill from your bedroom and decide to opt away from contact to that thing. 

As soon as you leave for work is when your heart stops, skips a few beats and then plummets into your stomach. 

"Harry Styles in a relationship with Camille Rowe? That is the best thing I have heard all week. The star tells us that they met months ago and kept it a secret in order to get to know each other. We cant wait for updates on their relationship. Now on to the juic--" That's all you can hear for the rest of the day, ringing in your mind like it is an announcement on the P.A. at work for all to hear. 

You knew that was the end of everything. Devastation didn't even hit the mark, it was like everything in the world was on fast forward and you were still trying to get through the commercials. Nothing made sense any more, the glass was no longer half full. It was completely drained and then smashed on the ground into a million little pieces. That was how her whole body felt, like it was just shattered on the ground, irreparable. 

The damage was done and there was nothing holding you back from wailing like a siren in front of all of the patients waiting for surgery, but your best friends always had your back. Making sure you eat during lunch and taking you to the bar at the end of your shift so you can drink the bottle dry. 

Just shy of a half hour sitting at the bar was when you were cut-off by Harry running into the bar rambling about how he thought they were spinning the tabloids another way. 

"I thought they were going to report that we just met and were already dating, I would have never let them ruin what we had by saying I knew her while you and I were together. I told them exactly what to say! I don't even know her, we just met." He jumbles his sentences trying to get hold of his clear message. 

You stand up from your seated position and start motioning for him to join you outside. Once out there, you decide what is best moving forward. 

"While we were together?" You scoff, trying to be as civil as can be under your obvious exhaustion, throwing your hands up in exasperation.

"At least you said something truthful in the last two minutes you decided to interrupt my break. Yes, you and I are no longer together. Honestly we should have never started something, our careers couldn't be more opposite and honestly I cannot afford to ruin my career over someone who wants to build his on lies. So thank you for what we had but from now on I would like to move forward, away from you." You keep talking in order to get your point across, hoping that when all is said and done there will be closure on both ends. 

You know that Harry does care for you but in these last twenty four hours you've learned is that maybe you can't have it all. Maybe happily-ever-afters are only for the imagination. 

Maybe life throws things at you so you can overcome them but there are times like these when she wonders what the message is supposed to be? 

Is there a message? 

That you can have one person in your life that should be your forever but just cant fit in there? 

"I know we never said it but I do love you, I think I always will but we can't make it fit. The time we spent together was great and I hope there is a lesson in there somewhere. I can only believe that closure is what we need now." She grabs on to his shoulder and goes in for a hug to end the conversation but he pulls back,"How could you think that we need closure? What we need is each other. I need you, in my life with me forever. You are always going to be the only one for me, I just know it." He grabs on to her and holds for dear life, hoping that he can convey her to stick it out for them both. 

"I know what I'm feeling is selfish because I never want to hurt you but my career is part of my life and I can't run away from who I am but I want you in my life, always. I will never stop loving you." Harry pulls away and looks in her eyes with tears in his," I cannot fathom a life without my sunshine. Maybe the timing is wrong but cant we make it right?" 

[Y/N] pulls away, trying to compose herself and make the most rational decision. She needs to think about her life and what she needs, not anyone else. "Harry Styles, while being with you was the best rollercoaster ride of my life, and if I could stay on forever I would do so; I have to get off. I need to pull away for the sake of my head and heart. Being with you makes me happy but when it interferes with my work, which is saving lives, I have to be on one hundred percent all the time. You have clouded my thoughts and judgement, and while being a star is part of who you are, being a doctor is me so I cannot give up who I am. Sometimes maybe love isn't enough?" By this point you can't hold back the sobs you have held in since you knew the inevitable truth and holding them back would be foolish, so you let them come. 

Harry tries to grab onto you with the little strength he has left from crying and lack of sleep. "I cannot let you get away. You are my everything! I canno--" he tries to catch his breath in between the racks of his heart," please, please do not leave me [Y/N]. We can make this work. I love you and that is enough, it is enough for me. Please." Harry whispers the last part, crouching in front of you and trying to hold you to him. 

"It isn't enough for the both of us Harry, and you know it." You're trying to hold back until you can be alone. All you want is to crawl in bed and become dead to the world because that's how you feel right about now. " I will always love you and maybe one day that love will be enough but right now I just don't see how that is possible Harry. I can't rationalize what is happening in our relationship and tell you that we will make it through it. The best thing to do is cut our ties before we start to resent each other." You take one last breath, looking at your friends inside the bar. You signal to them that you're leaving, and say the one thing that you know will hurt the most. 

"I can't try anymore to be with you so this is my goodbye. I wish you the best Harry, I really do." In the middle of all this you had a death grip on his hands but now is the time to walk away from one of the best things to happen to you. As gut wrenching as it is, the best thing for the both of them was to move on. Worry about the time in their career when it is at the peak so as hurtful as it is, she knows that she is doing what's best. 

You pull away from his grasp, looking down at him kneeling on the ground and kiss his forehead. "I love you." You whisper through tears. 

All you can hear behind you is wails of sirens, drunk people cheering on the football game inside but the one thing that is the loudest is Harry's cries. As soon as you walk away you break down into a blubbering mess. Your friends catch up after you, while looking at the mess you and Harry made behind. You can hear Harry's cries of desperation and the only thing your heart is telling you to do is 'go back, go back to him' but you know it's not logical. 

If it is meant to be you will make it work at a better time. Things will come together and make sense one day but not when her mind is a fuzzy mess. Maybe weeks, months or years later she will understand what it means to have love be enough. It has to mean something right? 

Good byes may hurt but sometimes they are unsurpassable. Sometimes they come barreling into your life totally unexpected and ruin something you thought could be forever. 

[purple-ktj]

Why do you think Taejin is labelled as fanservice? Compared to big ships, Taejin is definitely not up there. Even among Jin ships, it's like the 4th most popular. So why are they getting labelled like that? Is it because people think they're only close on cam? Or is it because they're uncomfortable with the intensity and chemistry that they have, they want to write it off as fanservice? Shouldn't people be thinking why Jin is ready to do intimate skinship with Tae but not the other members?

I think that’s part of the reason, their chemistry is extremely overwhelming that it’s easier to brush it off as fanservice rather than think about why and how this type of chemistry exists between them in the first place. Also, from what I see, most people don’t know Taejin exists outside of their MAMA 2016 performance and their So What moments. 

First and foremost, when one watches BTS in general, there’s few things that are more direct and obvious. For example, the maknae line ships, and then the hyung line ships. Taekook- being the two youngest members and are very playful with each other, Vmin- being the platonic soulmates, Jikook- loud whenever and wherever. Yoonjin- the hyung line soulmates, Sope- the wacky pair who balances each other out, and Namjin- the ‘married dads’ of BTS. These pairings are easy on the eyes and comfortable to watch. There’s plenty of ‘obvious’ moments available for hyping up and they’re not questionable. 

Taejin on the hand, is far from obvious. If not for the Burn the Stage fight and their intense stage moments, nobody bothers or notices and Taejin gets minimal attention. And that’s exactly how they are. When they’re not loud on stage, they’re either awkward or just silently glued to each other. Since this type of behaviour isn’t very ‘natural’ in a tight knit group like BTS, I suppose people brush it off as ‘they’re the least closest’ or ‘they don’t really like each other’. 

All these factors put together, Taejin’s bond is extremely questionable and doesn’t compute in people’s heads so suddenly seeing So What moments would be pretty shocking. Ships are mostly supposed to be fun, (lets be honest, they give people headaches so they’re not as ‘fun’) so the best conclusion is: fanservice. 

Also, that’s a great question to ask. Why does nobody question Jin when he literally never does sexy stuff or even attempt to seduce any of the other members except Taehyung? I guess most people think it’s simply the adrenaline from the concert high. Many don’t realise that Jin actually denies intimacy with any other member on or off stage because they’re not the most popular or hyped up pair. For example, the number of fansites that exists for Jikook and Taekook, while Taejin only had 1 in the past 7 years, and maybe a max of 5 as far as I’m aware of right now. A lot of the Taejin fansite photos/fancams we get come from Taehyung or Jin individual fansites. With So What being so loud and in everyone’s faces, it’s literally impossible to ignore so people take it at surface value: fanservice. Seokjinnies who pay attention to Jin would be able to tell the difference in how he treats and adapts to each member differently. Others will see him as his goofy eldest hyung persona who mainly jokes around and does silly things. I think this is the main reason why Taejinnies tend to be Jin biased. Granted, there’s plenty of Jin-harem enthusiasts who prefer to focus on him getting all the love by all members without thinking too much. I personally prefer to focus on Taejin because of how exciting their dynamics are. 

Whew your ask is so exciting because I haven’t thought about this for a very long time since I became a Taejinnie and answering this really refreshed my memory of the first time I myself wondered the same thing. 

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I talked to one of the guys that was hunnnnngry and he said his soulmate ain't done the dna4u.

He talked to the people in his humvee he was scheduled to work with and all them said they wanted pull out and was out the encampment And gone.

So i actually know him and so yeah

I decided one thing we will do for these 308 pulling out is give them dna4u test kits to mail to their loved ones. So. Some y'all girls.

They ain't wimps or weak. They're smart. Wise and kind.

The job wasn't worth their lives or breaking the hearts of those they love.

We have postage paid envelopes and so the uniform men and women will come in and address the labels. We won't look and in fact they keep them to mail on their own and drive to the post office themselves.

Or we can and will bulk mail them ourselves via the post office. Then stand guard at the post office that they get out on their way and mailed proper.

If they're gonna love. Well they need to love.

So then we will give them a personal one so they can street test at protests if they go.

And then they can mail to their gramma or whoever needs one as well. No limit. They got 600 sitting and waiting with 700 envelopes and another truck bringing in more. 800

So they can get that loved shared and loved.

That is a reward that is priceless.

And there is more as well.

But so they're prepared. Its not us tracking or any shit like that. We don't care where they go.

We just want y'all to be loved and appreciated. Not dead.

And because Mr Hooooonnnnnngry! Doesn't have his soulmate yet. She didnt wanna go up and test. She is a busy gal.

But I know his love is deep and she will benefit

We can't waste a decision to live and not reward it with as much love as possible.

There's an unlimited test amount that can go in

For protests:

And we will talk around and see if we can get the National Guard to set up a DNA4U booth. CIA is always undercover ;)

Or even the police

In those cases it would be pick up only. 2 DNA4U Kits per person. This way law enforcement and no one else can see the information.

Except the people who work the system which is based in England. The Easten World and not even close to us. And their privacy laws are different than the USA or Mexico and no one can see the information. Tree can. But other than that.. No way can it be leaked or transferred and no USA law suit or subpoena or anything can be accessed.

2 per person. Pick up only.

If we do so. How about y'all post below #yes and city you protest in or #no we dont care where you go but we would like to see that feeling of how y'all are about it

If we post a station to give out. You will not protest it and you will walk your fucking ass away. Quickly. Or regret it. Citizens arrest for violating the 1st amendment by getting into ones face during a peaceful display.

We all have a right to what we say. It's how we fucking say it.

Sure i would love help with the Lost City of Atlantis. But charging in guns blazing. No you'll all die.

Realize you Never took our land in the first place. We left. I designed the dam in my past life so we would have more water. Now its all dirty gross and unusable.

And so no mother fucker is gonna be all about taking it now without losing their life for it.

Eric Baldwin portraying a Trump ordered it because we shot at Trump's helicopter after we blocked the access roads with tanks to Okmulgee county.

We shot his tail. In Shawnee we blew a hole behind the pilot cockpit into the hallway floor. In lake keystone we shot an array of bullets, to warn him he would be shot down.

So now They send in foot traffic to OKC.

They been there since yesterday.

And i apologize I didn't realize an innocent post would result in so much greed. I thought a mild interest only but not this.

Trump using American troops so he could claim the Lost City of Atlantis.

Its fucking disgusting and i want to punch his fucking head off.

So all of Oklahoma is closed off. Any troops within Oklahoma that assemble will be removed to Kansas. And if it continues we will be forced to inprison them.

This is the first round. So gifts and let it go.

But I'm gonna be pissed. Stupid bitch moved from the 9th floor bunker to the 8th. I WILL FIND HIM.

So 3 times that's it. If the second don't retreat we will invade. Same on 3rd.

After that its prison.

Treason.

We don't steal each other's land.

Period.

"But its a lake" the land under is what they want.

We also don't steal water. That's fucked up.

I EXPLAINED THE DAM IS SENSITIVE. To release the water just any fucking way is going to damage it.

I learned how to build it from people on Planet Mercury so no engineer is gonna be all "oh i know"

Only i know. But you Zulululu bitches get yourself killed. Because maybe you invaded Mercury but you didn't learn shit. Be arrogant I don't give a shit.

If water enters those buildings they will implode. Completely ruined.

Depending when they implode they will block the dam not allowing water to escape.

So believe me it's booby trapped to say the least.

And they will implode before the buildings are exposed. Depending on which ones implode will then destroy the other buildings between them and the dam.

I'm only protecting it.

Excuse me for saying it exists.

As i said i apologize for the issues its caused but it truly isn't my fault.

I EXPLAINED all this. Do i must have to write every single detail??? No.

Don't fucking touch it. Its not yours.

[shadowfae]

Yes. :/ It was actually in a discord server that I got fed up enough to actually consider leaving as a serious thing - one too many KFF blocked in fandom spaces, and then a discussion got started about KFF in the one discord that I actually usually feel safe talking about my experiences in and everyone went and dismissed the fact that they all but destroyed the fictionkin community. They also did a great show of ignoring that I was talking and everything that I said. I muted the server for a few days, haven't spoken in there since, and every interaction with the community's just been pissing me off more.

I'm not asking for flat out soulmate or twin flame connections here - that's a high standard and about as likely as asking for canonmates. I want the community I grew up in back, before it was utterly destroyed. Wishkin are nothing new. But the fact that we have virtually no spaces that I can find without KFF being the majority? That's new. I've been here for over seven years. They're not the same beast, not anymore.

You'd figure we'd find enough in the volume we're appealing to that it wouldn't feel like a damn minority and a half, but it does. So far I've seen about four or five in my notifications, and I'm genuinely surprised I got that much.

I'm not even really talking about the broader otherkin and alterhuman communities. I'm talking about fictionkin, because we can be pretty different - I can't name five fictionkin blogs off the top of my head that I genuinely respect. Not even like or consider myself friends with: respect, as in I have accepted that they are definitely vaguely on my wavelength and they know what they're talking about, and it's a similar enough experience to mine to call it the same name. I can name three, past that names start slipping me by.

When I got here, those first couple years, I could name at least twenty. Necrophagist and ranthimi, who shaped my understanding of what adult fictionkin look like and that I could be happy are both gone. They left ages ago. Fromfiction went down, came back briefly to bitch about psychological otherkin and decide that KFF were actually right all along, and then left. AlynnaFoxie is long, long gone. I don't even remember the last time I saw her. Page is still around, but doesn't consider himself otherkin or really any label other than folcinteric anymore, and honestly I understand that decision more and more with every day. Icarus blocked me after five years of friendship over fandom drama. Hallowedbone is still around, I think, but so inactive I'm genuinely not sure. Same with Luke. Gryphon left years ago not long after celebrating their 10th anniversary in the community. Vagabond-sun moved to Pillowfort, I think. Habit and I aren't on speaking terms, if he's still around, I don't know. Athyrium moved blogs so many times I have no idea if they're still active at all- last I can recall, they'd just gotten out of the hospital. Dana's long gone, I haven't spoken to her in at least two years, I don't know where she went. I'm lucky I still have contact with Jeshire, I know maybe a handful of people do.

And so many more that I'm forgetting. These were are once incredibly well-known names, and most of them were fictionkin. And these were just the 'community pillars' so to speak, to say nothing of your friends or those you found in the tags. They were the people everyone told you to follow, and then you found your friends by who interacted with their posts, and if you had issues, you asked one of them first and foremost. FromFiction - it was Felix at the time, although I think Felix is no longer a part of their system - was the one who talked me through my Ranisson awakening, before I realized how integral it was going to be.

There's a few folks who stand in their places now, who know what they're talking about, but it does not feel nearly as vast as it was. There feels like there's far, far less of us.

I know the community is bigger than this. Four hundred people regularly show up to Othercon, the tags are reasonably active, I was amazed by the twitter turnout when Grimes tried to pull shit on the community. And yet I still feel like there's maybe a handful of people that I know actually know what they're talking about. Not even friends, just people who exist in the community and can tell me three history facts and one trivia answer that you'd never expect about their kintypes.

I keep asking myself where the community went, and why nobody told me where we were moving to. That's what I'm mourning here, really. Wherever we went, I want to go there. I'll take being late to the party if it means it's still going when I get there.

Genuine question - I'm curious to know what you mean by most of what you hear now "isn't fictionkin." Do you mean it in the way that most people who say they are fickin are actually just kff/DA? Or do you mean it more in the respect that most of what fickin are describing as experiences don't line up with actually being fickin? If it is the latter, can you give an example of what you mean?- because I want to actually understand your viewpoint.

I've been in otherkin community for a while, but I'm coming to terms with being a baby fictionkin and want to understand more.

I'm gonna start off the bat by saying I barely know what the hell KFF are talking about with delusional attachments, because every description they have of it sounds like endelity and by extension psychological fictionkin to me. It also reeks of "the only way you can be fictionkin is if you're secretly A Crazy who needs to be locked up" and that absolutely does not sit right with me. Endels and psychological fictionkin are fine and amazing in my book, but it really sounds like this is something that cuts deep and disrespects them something major, and I can't say I approve of it.

I do mostly mean that KFF describe themselves as fictionkin when they're distinctly describing something else. I think what was the best explanation I found of them is a type of role play you usually do as a youngish teenager (note the space between role and play here), where you project your identity onto a role, stereotype, or character in order to feel out what you are, and discard it the moment it's unnecessary.

I did that as a young teenager, had a whole shtick about making a dragonwolf pack with some friends out on a camping trip, wrote myself as a self-insert into lots of stories feeling it all out. But while it was both introspectional and shallow, it was not otherkin to do that, it was not even close. It was a natural part of growing up in a human body, that everyone does, that is a part of being aware that you have an identity and not everyone is exactly the same as you.

It's fine to do that, but it isn't otherkin - it may be argued to be a form of otherlinking, but I would argue it isn't even that, because linktypes go down to the bone just as often as kintypes do, and the form of role play that KFF seems to be most certainly isn't that.

Now, there are folks who chose linktypes and later find that they can't put it down again. Technically, I did that with my Ranisson kintype, got myself tangled up in a hivemind and then decided I didn't want to leave it, even after it left me. Like a transformation potion - you choose once, and never again. You put yourself on the path, and you never get to come off it again.

That's valid, and a form of otherkin, and not what I'm talking about.

I am absolutely talking about the implication that being a bad person by having it as a kintype makes you someone who should be jailed, regardless of your current actions. I am talking about the implication that by not being sanitized and pretty and perfect and flawless that you're inherently lesser. I am talking about the fact that I don't get to talk about being a Devil, that I don't get to tell y'all about the deeply fucked-up and horrific relationship I had with the Princess that affects me to this day in ways that profoundly change the way I think; that I can't let South or Goni talk about their experiences because the current fictionkin community would run away screaming.

Goni's got an essay in the works hesitantly titled "10 Things to Learn as a Pisces Saint Apprentice" and he wants to make it halfway poetry about the trauma he faced growing up. About being a living bioweapon, torn between flower and fish, about being isolated and forced to kill anyone who comes near you without any choice in the matter on your own.

He doesn't get to talk about the kind of person it made him. Because gods fucking forbid his coping mechanisms and recovery be messy.

South hasn't decided to write any essays so far. He likes to keep people guessing. But his story's not a kind one, and the two best things he can say about his life is that he was free, for a little while, and his sister who he loves more than godhood once pulled him out of the grave to keep fighting. He's known gods better than anyone but me has.

He's one mortal shapechanger with a taste for blood and the seething desire to prove himself. He doesn't get to, because he's too honest. Because he scares people. Because everyone shies away from violence and sex when it's not dressed up in candy-cane frills.

For their sake, if not for mine, I wish I could believe the community wants to hear about that, wants to talk about that. But no. No, we don't get to. Because none of us were heroes. We were, are, villains and antagonists and monsters all.

We don't want to pretend that things were and are less brutal than they are, less serious, less deserving of respect. But in order to exist and talk about ourselves, we have to tame ourselves down and make it sound nicer.

While typing this out, you almost got South offhandedly talking about one of his many, many atrocities. I cut that out, because I doubt folks have the stomach for the vivid picture of gore he paints. That's the problem. That nothing we are is appropriate for the spaces that I grew up in, that was acceptable and encouraged before.

I see spirits who wouldn't know our brands of magic if they were hit in the face with them, and can't describe it other than feeling a little lightheaded. I see people who say they lived through war, but don't seem to understand the feeling of raw loss at being dragged out of the grave after a failed mission to know you were the only survivor. People who say they get feeling ghostly and psychopompous, but don't understand or appreciate decay that isn't pretty and sanitized and are perfectly happy to get into arguments every week over petty nonsense for the adrenaline rush.

I really, really wish I could say that I see these people and can accept that there's more going on that I'm not seeing. But when all I can see for miles is pretty and sanitized talk about being a little lightheaded and that means you're not human, it's not hard to come to the conclusion that either I am seriously out of the loop, or we're not talking about the same thing at all.

I'm still trying to figure out which one it is. I don't want to say "everyone has to talk about their deep pains and feelings", but I don't think "so nobody should and it's somehow traumadumping to be anything other than pretty and perfect material to consume without thinking about" is an acceptable alternative.

I don't know. I wish I did.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I'm so happy to hear the kids abducted to Hong Kong got to hear and see and talk to their hero that saved them today through Zoom in Brian's phone!!!

It was so lucky and such perfect timing that he called me today while the military crews were still resting in China and Wendy was able to pinpoint their locations directly!!

He truly is their Hero and we are so lucky!

I have dreamed about him for years and for years have been waking up from nightmares telling Brian McGruff is a bad dog... But always the dream would be gone when i woke up or it was before it started happening and no one knew

I even had a feeling when I ordered the kits... So I'm not sure how these kids feel through the cracks because they were on my soul to save.

I also didn't know know about human trafficking like I do now, so I think the whole "Sabrina you just have a bad feeling because it reminds you what could happen..." Is how

A few other companies, too... I had a whole list. So Thorn is gonna check that out.

It just takes one person to prove a mood. I had a list of 17 companies that day then 26 more over the next week that I had this nag on while I was "picking on" Crime the McGruff Dog

Since I kept saying it that way in 2016 and I never ever messed up his name before they took down a list of companies associated with him according to my feelings and it was an unusual list.

So this man has likely saved nearly 30 times as many children as he could have hoped.

We will soon find out. In return he's to receive a mansion an economically stable brand new automobile. Fully paid.

Because I've dreamed of him, his voice and everything. He truly is an Earth Angel.

For nearly half a decade he's been the solution to my night terrors. I know why ask those children cried. I want to cry, too, And my tears are warm.

The children were mutated and mutilated. Arms cut off and sewn onto their foreheads and given all sorts of horrible viruses and drugs.

Tree just gave them their own fresh bodies. Replicas. Some back to the age/look they were kidnapped at, some slightly grown, according to the agreement between child and parent whichever they liked the sound of best, the child's preference being the ultimate decision maker. Their DNA4U will state and show they are replicated due to the reasons of faster healing and less overall damage that would cause future problems plus they got upgrades like bullet proofing, extra speed, strength increases, stuff like that. And extra extra heavy COVID19 instead of 3 feet you'll get it at 10 feet bad enough to kill you nearly instantly.

But they were horribly mistreated, starving, mental and physical torture, so much.

So I know to talk to the one rare person in the World that could save them and did was certainly very good heart and soul medicine.

So I'm glad he called me again and I didn't answer and Brian called back from the plane.

Yes of course. He flew to Enid then China then Hong Kong... You can make a man retire but you can't ever make a man quit. And I'm glad. Just so those kids could talk to their hero.

So lucky. Of all the hundreds of people working there he's been there only 6 months. And he took that initiative to just check...

Today living kids was 443.

Dead was 198,675 which tree ghosted back to life. (Gave new bodies)

Nearly a quarter of a million children.

Times 3 is 600k then add a zero. Looking at maybe 6 million kids and young adults...

Tree estimates 400M

So a huge round of applause and a right tight hug.

And he deserves amazing amounts of pats on the back because that list would just sat around keeping dusty.

This is that old fashioned detective work like sitting at a gas meter while some one is down trying to find out how to save people (aliens included) from dying in a gas chamber and they're up there making sure that gas isn't turned on to kill the girl doing all the work -- he couldn't hear people downstairs through the street and i could get the truth out easier and faster before they even knew and I was always happy to get the news while he was just mad and angry. So i was the better to go. Cause everyone was always happy to see me. Cause I was always super nice and all interested in what they were doing.

Now unfortunately not so much.

But Charles was starting to get nightmares after my list and had came up with 14 more companies from coming from the same way i had came up with my list... So he talked to some the other people that felt creeped out about the assignment I insisted on doing and they also all added each two and then some kept a private list... Which they slowly added after verifying the company was then clean.. It started in 2013 these bad dreams.

So every time it happened or they started their nightmares they added to the list.

Overall 642 companies we dreamed of or felt or somehow had a psychic connection to. I dreamed of kids and old people and women. Some people only dreamed about men. Some just kids.

The companies we have left is 642 to check out as they hadn't had yet done any bad and no dreams or any thing has came up since...

Which isn't happy, we now know, but good news is whatever bad has happened we can fix is super special and magical ways.

So we have Thorn, CIA, Military, some FBI and some others to check what's been going on and see.

So that's about 8 Trillion that have been affected. But at least 6 Trillion have already been retrieved.

So this one single person has done the miraculous. The biggest miracle we have been waiting for on a personal level. For me its been 7 years but 6 since 9 other people started having their dreams affected and the lists began.

So 10 of us with nightmares. Night terrors. Waking up screaming or shaking or scared. And not knowing why but having a name, a company label. Sometimes or often a place on a map... As close to the actual GPS coordinates of longitude and latitude. Wake up listing numbers for no reason. Numbers that make no sense N 316941027865389421. Over and over.

Brian would look at me "what the fuck are you trying to do Morse code?"

"I'm trying to sleep thank you very much. Alan and Naomi. 38652361 I think you just messed me up"

One person. One person can make a difference. That's all it takes. One person.

One person to make sense of all these nightmares.

We don't need to be saved from them... They didn't bother so much... We could wake up. Be safe in our beds. Joke it out.

But there's people. Innocent children. Innocent adults that wake up into real living nightmares every single day.

And one person today made the phone call to make thst difference to about 200,000 kids and over 400,000 parents. And siblings and grandparents. Friends.

Just today he changed the world for at least a million whom now have a missing child come home.

Made one million hearts smile and backs release tension and sorrow.

And now we're looking at 2 trillion lost people. Who have kids. Who have parents. Grandparents. Friends.

Were gonna have at least 6 trillion hearts heal then there's soulmates so that's gonna be 12 trillion

Due to one phone call. That was all I needed.

I had heard him say he couldn't find his soulmate... And he didn't go trying to save her or find her today

He knew it was just kids.

But he knew it was missing kids because the people getting ID kits were told not to call the police only call the dog. He could see clearly kids were being abducted and they had a rating system on "easy to kidnap to hard" and the easy were always reported within weeks.

He knew it was his civil duty to call and report it somehow... But he didn't know to who or how.. Who would take it seriously.

This crazy lady might...

Im very sensitive to red flags. He didn't even have to explain. I was already on it in less than 2 minutes.

So the world is so lucky to have him and the kids today so lucky to be in Hong Kong when we just busted 600k China's citizens home.

I mean you can't get more miraculous than that!!

You would think...

But leave it to the true McGruff the Crime Dog to make sure it did.

Because it did.

Tree will update us later how extremely far this miracle went

From one person hoping and praying and taking that leap of faith.... After 10 following their true instincts and intuition.

Intuition is so important you guys. If you hadn't understood why i hope now you finally get it.

Last night I trusted mine and we pulled 13 million from slavery. That's 26 million directly affected with soulmate syndrome. Then parents that makes it times two. So 52 million then grandparents and kids...

Then one person trusted his. And kaboom an estimated 12 Trillion frowns are gonna turn upside down.

Then we are getting these bad guys off the streets, out of their homes, immediately. Hopefully they're checked thoroughly and then killed. I'm done with this baby sitting shit. Back to good ole South Texas and manual strangulation in vans after being kidnapped...but now technology has made it so much different. Much simpler to catch someone in the act. And fuck this court system, it's WWIII. Its military. We will find them guilty without a reasonable doubt and simply kill them.

There is no fucking reason over 18 million people were kidnapped in late 2019 (after October) or in any fucking time in 2020.

What is the point of a trial? Those people whom went to jail in 1990 for 20 years for kidnapping are doing it again. I sent 700 to jail. 36 are actively kidnapping. 642 are financially benefiting. The remaining are probably dead. 12 people.

Tree says i make him laugh. They are dead.

So out of 700 they're dead or kidnapping or in the human trafficking market.

So, there is No change and no Rehabilitation. There is PROOF.

So human trafficking ass holes y'all can thank those 688. Because now you're all just gonna fucking die.

What are you gonna do to me? Not a dam thing. That's what. So think about bull shit. Cry about your stupid life. I don't care.

But I'm taking all your money to pay the victims and im killing you, human traffickers.

And you ain't doing shit about it.

And those about to be trying to hurt someone to retaliate. I already put alerts on you.

So when you're pushed out a plane in the middle of no where so wild animals can eat you... Well don't complain to me. Animals need to eat, too

And surviving good humans. Don't worry... When the bodies hit the ground. They pretty much explode so they're just ground meat basically and bones crush and they wre just big piles of food. They don't look human

So some bear isnt going to come out the mountains and be all "man I just ate something that looked like you and was mighty tastey!" The bodies are unrecognizable.

If you're curious... Idk if you still can.. We used to can look up bodies that had been tossed or jumped out of Windows. Back in 2000 I found a website and I would go through and examine them and see which were pushed and which had jumped

I could tell the difference. Anyway if they're in Google you'll see they don't look human. They're pretty gross -- some do -- so ew be careful but from the plane height trust me they do not.

And its very careful with software to show no damage to trees or animals will occur.. And the software is very intelligent and cautious and only certain types of people can access it. Like a kidnapper can't turn on the computer and see where and how. But a Clark Kent or Louis Lane or someone can. But if an evil Donald Trump sits down next to, the software will shut down. Immediately. And lock out any user until hes removed.

I'm not fucking dumb. Sometimes I just don't know what to do and Need an Earth Angel to make one phone call

Or a guilty person to confess. Or a clue. A bad dream. A nightmare in my sleep. Or being in the right place at the right time. Like when the kidnappers gas up at night at the gas station.

Otherwise I'm fucking brilliant. Overprotective and caring.

So any one tries to dump innocent people out of planes, the door simply will not open. Magic it is called. Its already happened. And it will not happen again.

Anyway for all the 007 Peirces that can stab so hard it hurts and heals at the same time.

This one is for you.

Thank you!

Lets really bust a move on that intuition. Its a life saver.

Man we are so so so so so so lucky today!!!

I couldn't be more thank ful!!

All of our military and cops that are ready and qualified and remember how to rescue from bunkers.

We need y'all. Don't forget to stay safe and well.

And our essientals and just our stay homers.

And beach goers.