#like maybe more minor roles but they still were on stage

[daily-pilby]

day 32

they definitely did highschool theatre

[sixpennydame]

Make. Believe. ❖ Act 1

Actor!Levi x Fem!Reader

It’s your first sex scene as a leading actress, and it’s with none other than Levi Ackerman. But you both can stay professional….right?

Warnings / Content: NSFW, Minors do not interact, oral sex (fem receiving), vaginal sex

A/N: I've been working on this one shot since April and it's finally here! There will be a Part 2, written from Levi's pov, available now!

Act 2 | Act 3

“Oi, you ok? Ready to do this?”

Levi stands naked before you. It’s nothing new - you’ve seen his nude body several times already while shooting this film. But today is the day that you shoot the main sex scene with him - the first you’ve ever done as a professional actress.

And despite all the preparations you’ve done, you’re nervous as hell about it.

You take a deep breath. “Yeah…I’m ready.”

The Camera Assistant raises the slate, “Scene 24, Take 1…” *Clap*

“Action!”

When your agent told you about the role you knew you were perfect for it. An ingénue role: innocent, pure, but headstrong, and when you finished the audition, you knew you’d gotten it. 

The movie is set in the 1920’s and tells the story about a woman who had been married off to an older, powerful man who owns a large estate. She has an affair with the quiet, mysterious groundskeeper. It’s all about class, duty, and desire.

You knew the role would require several sex scenes, and quite risqué ones at that. But that didn’t bother you. You’d been nude on stage while in acting school and you took your craft seriously.

What made you nervous was that you would be doing the sex scenes with Levi Ackerman. 

You’d had a crush on him since your teenage years, when you saw him in the Attack on Titan series. You, and every other girl that saw him in that show. Ten years later, he was still one of the most sought-after actors in film and television. He excelled in dramatic roles and was a skilled physical actor, even doing most of his own stunts. In interviews, he was always cool and quiet, letting the other actors take the spotlight. He also kept his private life particularly private, and this gave him an air of mystery.

 You weren’t sure what to expect when you met him for the first time with the rest of the cast at the first script table reading.

“Mr. Ackerman, I’ll be playing the part of Anna. It’s an absolute honor to be working with you.”

His grey eyes give you a once over, then he shakes your hand. “Please, call me Levi. I hear this is your first leading role.”

Just shaking his hand, you’re already blushing. How will you react when you actually have to touch him romantically?

You shake those thoughts out of your mind right now. “Y-yes, it is. I’d appreciate any advice you can give me.”

“This director is pretty strict about sticking to the script. I’ve worked with him before. But with love scenes, he’s going to give us a lot of freedom to kind of just do what we want.”

Oh god. He’s already bringing up the sex scenes. And he calls them love scenes. You feel your face getting even hotter. 

He notices. “I’m guessing you’ve never done a love scene before.”

“I uh..” you were going to try to think of something witty to say, but it feels difficult to talk suddenly, “I haven’t, actually.”

He smiles. “It’s normal to feel nervous. The most important thing is for you to trust me, and for us to respect each other.”

The room is filling with more cast and crew as the table reading is about to start. Levi gestures for the both of you to have a seat. “Why don’t we start by getting to know each other after the table reading? When we’re not shooting we can get together and help each other with lines and maybe eat together during breaks. That way, I won’t feel like such a stranger.”

“That would be so nice. Yes, let’s do that,” you reply, feeling better and more comfortable with him already. He just seems so…normal. Not at all the broody, rude character he’s made out to be in the tabloids.

After that, you spent most of your free time with Levi. You’d hang out with each other in your trailers, working on memorizing lines or just talking. The director insisted on shooting most of the movie on location and not in a studio, so you were all left to basically live in a small town in the countryside. Levi would invite you out with other cast and crew friends. He was friendly - much friendlier than you’d imagined him to be - but you noticed that the larger the crowd got, the quieter he became. You much more enjoyed the time when it was just the two of you.

Leading up to your sex scenes, you and Levi were required to meet with an intimacy coach. She was pleased to hear that you and Levi were already getting to know each other, since trust is key. The three of you talked over the scene and the movements required. 

“There will be moments where you two will have to be naked with each other, but when you two actually recreate sexual activity, you can use intimacy barriers and skin colored thongs and underwear,” the coach suggests. “Levi, I know you’ve done sex scenes totally nude in the past.”

That’s right..the independent film he was in a few years ago. There was a lot of controversy about the very explicit sex scene in that movie. So they were completely nude during that scene? Why do you feel jealous?

“Whatever Reader is comfortable with. I’ll follow her lead,” he says, matter-of-factly. 

The coach looks at you. “And you’re comfortable being nude with Levi?”

You’re trying so hard not to blush and look professional, as if this conversation isn’t giving you butterflies in your stomach. You feel Levi’s grey eyes on you. “Yes, it’s not a problem.”

Later that afternoon, your words were put to the test. You were to shoot a scene where your character catches Levi washing outside his cottage. It’s a short scene but you’re nervous. When you arrive on set, Levi is already in a robe waiting. 

The scene is set, and Levi takes off his robe. His body is even better in real life. He’s toned, and he has a perfect six pack with a deep v shape on either side. A black trail of hair leads down to his..

No, you shouldn’t look, it’s unprofessional. But you want to so badly.

“Reader, go to your mark,” the Director’s Assistant says.

“Y-yes, of course.” You take your place by the wall that surrounds his character’s cottage. When the director yells action you walk along the wall until you get to the entrance, but before you enter his garden, you see him washing at a basin near the home. You’re supposed to look for just a moment, then turn back against the wall and blush at seeing him. 

But when you peek around the corner, you can’t help but let your eyes linger for just longer than you’re supposed to. He’s washing himself, the water flowing over his beautifully toned body. His hair is wet and he pushes it back.

“Cut!” the director commands. “Reader, you were staring too long. Remember, she’s shocked at what she sees and quickly turns away, but she’s also titillated.”

You blush and look over to Levi, who you hope is far enough away that he can’t hear what the director is saying. “Got it. Sorry about that.” You take your mark and do it again.

The next day, you had to shoot some other scenes and didn’t see Levi all day. Although the day’s shoot went without a hitch, you couldn’t help but think about that perfect body of his and how you would soon be touching and kissing it. 

You arrived at your trailer earlier than usual the next day. There were a few cast and crew members ambling about, but it was otherwise quiet. You knock on the door of Levi’s trailer.

“Come in,” he answers. When you enter, Levi is casually sitting, drinking his tea and reading through today’s scenes. “I thought we could discuss how we wanted to block today’s physical scenes. It’s no nudity, but since it’s their first time,I think there are some particular movements they want us to include.” 

It’s strange, talking to Levi about, “me grabbing your breast,” or, “when I enter you for the first time,” as if these are the most normal conversations to have in the world. But even hearing him say these words in his deadpan way of speaking is making the blood rush to your cheeks. After a lengthy discussion, you scribble some notes in your script for later, then make your way to your trailer to get into costume.

The scene is set in a hunting cabin far from the main estate. As your character has just left a dinner party, you’re wearing a beautiful wine colored gown that everyone remarks on. Everyone except Levi. He sits in his chair and seems to be in some kind of ultra-focused state. You’d never noticed before, but maybe that’s how he gets into character.

Or maybe he’s nervous too.

Your heart is pounding when the director says action. “Please don’t go,” you say, as you grab Levi’s arm. 

You’d blocked out the scene with Levi this morning, but you suddenly have an urge to deviate slightly from the plan, not because you want to, but because you now feel like that’s what your character would do at this moment. 

You hold his hand and begin to kiss his palm and wrist, then you place it on your cheek. It’s so innocent, but full of yearning.  Levi’s body goes tense, but then he unexpectedly moves his thumb to your lips and you open your mouth. You begin to suck on his thumb, then his pointer finger, looking at him seductively when he finally pulls it out. He lets out a sigh and then he’s kissing you passionately; you pull down his suspenders while he lifts up the gossamer layers of your dress. Your mouths crash together as he undoes his pants. He tastes like spearmint, and you wonder if he did that on purpose. He moves away from the kiss and pulls off your underwear, and then he’s on top of you and between your legs. 

Although his bare ass is showing, the camera angle doesn’t necessitate him completely against your crotch. But he pushes slowly as if he is entering you for the first time and after a few thrusts, he starts getting faster. 

Your character is going through a lot of emotions at this point: desire, guilt, pleasure. You look away and your cheeks begin to flush as Levi continues to move, a certain kind of desperation in every thrust. You both begin to breathe heavily, your hands in his hair and his head in the crook of your neck. One final thrust, and there’s only silence, until..

“Cut!” the director cries out. “Good work, you two. Now, let’s do that again, with some closeup shots.

“You okay?” Levi asks as he gets off of you and grabs a rag to wipe off his sweat. 

You straighten your dress and a makeup assistant comes over to touch-up your makeup. “Yeah..I’m fine.”

“They way you approached me, with the kisses on the palm and taking my fingers - that was a nice change.” He looks at you as he returns to his mark. “You have good instincts.”

“Thanks.” You laugh to yourself, because the compliment makes you blush more than when he was rutting against you.

The cinematographer changes cameras and gets closer. “Alright, let’s do that again..”

——

The next day, you meet with the intimacy coordinator to choreograph the next sex scene scheduled for the end of the week. In the midst of taking notes and discussing with Levi the motivations for each movement, you become quiet, your thoughts drifting elsewhere. Because for the last few days, you’ve had trouble differentiating your feelings for Levi and your character’s feelings for his character. The line seems to be blurring between them, and that concerns you. 

In between scenes, you truly enjoy spending time with Levi. He’s smart and funny. He nerds out about tea and kung fu movies, and you’ve spent many an evening just listening to him go into more detail about the two than you ever thought possible. He gives you ideas when you struggle with character notes, and even helps you to memorize lines. At night, in the privacy of your hotel room, you’ve fantasized about what it might feel like to be desired by him, to hear him say your name as he touches your body.

Then you hear your name being called by the coordinator and you snap out of it. “Is that ok with you? Being completely nude for the scene?” she asks.

“No..no..I’d like for both of us to be covered,” you answer. It’s better this way, you think to yourself. It keeps it professional.

Levi shrugs. “Fine by me.”

You both walk back to the hotel at the end of the day, but Levi stops you before you enter the building.

“Hey, you ok today? You seem distracted.”

“I’m fine. I guess I’m just nervous about tomorrow.” 

“I get it. But we’ve put a lot of work into this. And I’d like to think we trust each other at this point.” He puts his hand on your shoulder. “You’ve got this.”

Just like that, you feel more at ease. He just has such a way with you. “You’re right, we’ve done well so far. And I do trust you, Levi.”

——

When you arrive at your trailer the next morning, there’s a to-go cup on your table. 

To calm your body and mind. —Levi

Your makeup artist smiles as you read the note. “Levi just brought that by. You sure have a great leading man.”

You smile. “Yeah, I sure do.”

The scene takes place in the forest in the afternoon. Your character has snuck away from her home to meet him, far away from spying eyes. The Director has decided to film the scene in sections instead of one long scene, at least for now. 

The marker board is clicked and you and Levi walk hand-in-hand among the trees. He pulls you into a small clearing, then grabs the back of your neck as he starts kissing you fully. You pull away and look him in the eyes.

“I want you to fuck me.”

Your character is a lady of high society; it’s scandalous for someone of her stature to say such a thing, but here she is, with this man that is ‘below’ her, and she wants nothing else than for him to ravage her.

You can totally relate to your character, in that regard.

He moves closer to you and begins to fondle your breasts, then he grabs the front of your white cotton blouse and tears it off of you, revealing your bare chest. 

He lays his chore jacket on the ground. “Undo my trousers,” he commands, and you do so. You then lie down on the jacket beneath you while he pulls down his trousers and takes off his henley shirt. When he takes off his trousers, you look away.

“No - don’t look away. Look at me,” he says with authority. He crouches over you and easily pulls off your skirt. 

“Cut! Let’s get them ready for closeup shots.” The Director and his team set up for the next shots as you and Levi sit awkwardly on the ground. You can’t move too much because you don't want to spoil the continuity of the scene, so you freeze as your hair and makeup team tousle your hair and touch up your makeup.

Both of you have your groins covered but other than that, you are completely naked, except you’re still wearing your stockings and boots. The Director tells Levi to get on top of you and he does so.

“Ready to do this?” He whispers.

“Yes, I’m ready,” you answer.

“Scene 24, Take 1..”

*Clap*

Levi is immediately kissing your lips, then moving down to your neck and collarbone. He looks back up at you and begins to thrust, each one hard and deliberate. You begin to move your hips to meet his thrusts and he breathes heavily into the skin of your neck. Even without actually having sex, the friction enough is turning you on; that, and Levi’s kisses on your body.

Then you feel it. A hardening bulge rubbing up against your clit. You look into his eyes and see a brief flash of recognition, but neither of you break character. 

He pulls you up and your legs are wrapped around him. He continues to thrust into you but it’s slower now, your bodies working together as you grind. His hard cock is rubbing your clit just right, and you feel like you could come from just this feeling alone. You’ve forgotten about the hoards of people watching both of you right now and you’re completely in the moment, letting him pull you even closer to him. 

“Levi..” you whisper in his ear. It slips from your mouth before you know it; there aren’t any lines scripted for this scene, and you’re hoping it wasn’t loud enough for the boom mic to pick up. It earns a look from Levi and then he smirks - you’re not sure if that was in character either. 

Your hands grasp at his hair and he starts slowing down. You look up at the sky thinking about the pleasure you - and your character - just felt. Then your lips graze against each other as your breathing becomes more calm.

“And cut! Great work you two I loved how that flowed. Let’s take a 15 minute break. I’ll look through the footage and decide if we need to re-shoot anything.”

Just like that, the moment is gone. The Director and others begin to move equipment and Levi’s assistant brings him a robe. He has it on and around him before you can barely get off of him.

“Good work,” he says curtly as he walks off. Your assistant takes a little longer to get to you, so you’re sitting there, naked, trying to figure out just exactly what happened between the two of you.

Levi keeps his distance during the break and as he listens to the director’s notes. You have to re-shoot a few closeup shots, and although the energy is still there, something is different. You can feel it. 

——

Levi doesn’t come out with you and the crew for dinner that night, and he doesn’t reply to your text messages. You’re worried - did you do something to offend him? Was it because you moaned his name during the scene?

That has to be it. It probably made him feel awkward. Maybe he thinks you’re unprofessional. It makes your palms cold and clammy just thinking about disappointing him, you can’t bear it.

But you can’t deny that he was turned on during the scene. You felt him against you. You couldn’t have imagined that.

You walk back to your hotel room lethargically. You think about texting him again, this time apologizing for your behavior, but before you can, there’s a knock on your door.

“Levi?”

“Hey.” He shifts one leg to the other, and he rubs the back of his neck. “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” you open the door wider for him to enter, “come in.”

He enters, his body language clearly restless and troubled. “What’s up?” you question.

“About today’s shoot….I’ve been doing this a long time, and I’m always professional. I respect you as an actress.”  

He paces the room and has a difficult time looking at you. You assume he’s going to reprimand you for your behavior today, so you prepare yourself. “I know you do, Levi. And I respect you.”

He finally stops in front of you. “But me getting turned on today…I don’t want you to think less of me. It’s just that you’re-“ he runs his hand through his dark hair. 

Butterflies begin to form in your stomach. You’ve never seen Levi this flummoxed before. He takes a deep breath and it seems to give him focus as he moves closer to you. 

“You’ve done something to me. When I had you in my arms today, I couldn’t help myself. Then when you said my name like that…”

He looks into your eyes. “I’ve kissed you countless times during this filming. But right now, I want to kiss you as myself.”

Your heart does backflips and your throat is suddenly dry. “So kiss me,” you invite, moving even closer to him.

It takes him a moment, almost as if he is checking if it’s truly ok. Then with a deep breath, he grabs the back of your neck and crashes his lips into yours. Even though you’ve kissed him many times, this time it’s different. There’s an electricity to it, an honesty, as if he’s laying bare his entire self to you. 

His hand moves from your hip bone to under your shirt, his soft touch sending shivers down your spine. It doesn’t take long for his other hand to make it under your shirt as well, and soon he’s pulling it over your head and off of you. 

You also start letting your hands roam, first down his back and then under his t-shirt. You grab the hem and pull it off of him, but before you can do more he’s working on unclasping your bra. 

“I want you so badly.” His voice is low and raspy as he lays you on the bed.

You’ve started peeling off your leggings but he takes them and pulls them off roughly, desperately. “There are condoms in the drawer of the bedside table.” He gives you a look. “You know..just in case.” He smiles, then reaches over to the drawer. As he does so, you pull off your underwear and start touching yourself. You rub your clit in circles, watching him as he stands over you.

There’s a giant bulge in his grey sweatpants and you can see the lust in his eyes. “God, you’re beautiful.” He throws the condom packet down and dives in between your legs, kissing the inside of your thighs.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to have you like this? To take this beautiful pussy as mine?” He starts licking at your folds and you swear you’ve entered heaven. He starts flicking his tongue over your clit, alternating between fast and slow. Your back arches and your hands reach down to grip his hair. 

“Yes, yes, right there….fuck…” You can’t believe this is happening. Levi is here, he wants you, and he’s eating your pussy in a way that no man ever has.

Just when you feel you could climax, he stops. He reaches down next to the bed and picks up the condom package, sticking it in his mouth as he takes off his sweatpants and underwear. 

You’d seen him naked on set, but his cock had been flaccid at the time; now that he’s hard, it’s even more impressive. As he puts on the condom, you lick your lips, preparing yourself to truly - finally - have him inside you.

He can see the desire in your eyes. “Look at you - so eager for my cock are you?”

“Yes, Levi, I want it so badly. I’ve always wanted you.” You open your legs a little wider, inviting him to go between them. 

He moves in and looks down on you as he touches his cock. “Fuck, you’re so pretty like this. I don’t know how I’ve kept myself in check for this long.” 

You smile. “So you’ve been thinking about me?”

“Of course I have. How could I not?” He positions himself above you and rubs his cock on your entrance, covering it with your juices. “When I’m not on set with you, you’re all I think about.”

Before this night, Levi had always had a quiet, awkward confidence to him, as if there were a multitude of thoughts happening just below the surface; but now, he was assertive and cocky, telling you his thoughts and desires without any restraint. You loved seeing this new side of him.

He enters you slowly and you both take a deep breath, then he begins to move faster as he sees a smile form across your face.

“You feel so good…fuck…” 

Your words encourage him to pick up the pace, the sounds of his hips slamming into you reverberate throughout the room. “Shit, you’re so wet, I can’t get enough of you.” He moves down to kiss you passionately, then he starts to kiss and suck on your neck.

“Be careful..I have to shoot a scene tomorrow,” you warn, halfheartedly.

“Makeup can cover it up,” he growls in your ear and then continues.

He feels so good, you can’t resist anything this man does to you, so you give into him completely as his cock rams into you and his mouth claims you.

The evening is a flurry of moans and grunts, him having his way with you on the bed, against the wall, in the shower - it was as if you were both discovering pleasure for the first time. Real pleasure - not performative. 

As the sun begins to rise, you both lay exhausted and satisfied in the bed, the sheets in a tangled mess around you.

“This won’t change how we work together, will it?” you ask with a worried look on your face.

“Why would it? If anything, it’ll make our chemistry on screen more believable.” He kisses the top of your head. “And this will make the preparation for the other sex scenes much more interesting,” he says with a boyish grin. 

You can’t argue with that. “I suppose life sometimes does imitate art.” 

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@thevelria @lunaeheroine18 @meltingforthatackerman @adanfore @blondebebop @levisfavoriteacup @dont-f-with-moogles @itty-bitty-baby-face @ricecrispiebirb @whorenamedbee @rec-a-fic @leviismybby @littlerequiem @satorizz @lost-in-the-daylight @nube55 @kingkonoha @mrsackxrman @youre-ackermine @luvjiro @wanderlustqueen-writes @mrsackermannx (happy late birthday present, bby, this one-shot is for you <;3)

[oddinary4bts]

The Forgotten Spaces | ch 3 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there will be mature content in later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: still fighting (sorta?), a little bit of fluff, alcohol consumption, weed smoking, angst, throwing up, cursing

☆word count: 10.2k

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: new chapter babyyy! As always, thank you to @moonleeai for her help on this fic  <3 best beta reader out there

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Saturday, May 5th

                Jungkook feels anxious. He hasn’t felt anxious like that since the last time he performed on a stage. Even coming here yesterday didn’t feel as bad – maybe because you were the only one waiting for him, and he can’t bring himself to be anxious when it comes to you.

But right now, he knows the full crew is waiting for him, and it feels as if he’s getting crushed by the weight of the universe, like Atlas when he was given the heavens to hold. He wishes he could just turn around and leave, but he made a deal.

He’s not the type to betray his words. So he forces one step in front of the other, even as his leg is killing him, as if it too knows what he’s going to do.

He reckons it’s been hurting since he danced yesterday. But it felt relieving to be dancing for the first time since the accident. Even if it was with you, it felt like coming home.

Maybe because it was with you, in all truth. He knows you’ve never liked each other, but to him it’s always been that kind of relationship where you tease someone because you can. Yes, he once thought you were an entitled rich brat, but he’s known better for years now.

He still feels bad for fighting with you yesterday. But when his leg hurt, he was just taken back to the night of the car crash, and he felt far too vulnerable for his own good.

You’re the last person he wants to be vulnerable in front of.

You haven’t replied to his texts last night. He wasn’t really expecting you to, and he only texted you in the first place because Hobi asked him to do it. Something about making amends, but he didn’t really pay attention to it.

Jungkook sighs as the studio appears in front of him. He’s dreamed of this place for over a year now, and even if he came yesterday, it still feels unreal to see it. To think not all of the world has changed. Maybe he did, maybe he’s changed to the point of no return, but it’s reassuring to see that not everything has.

Like his relationship with you, for instance.

It’s warm today. The sun is about to set, painting the sky in thousands of golden hues, and he has half a thought to stop and admire, maybe snap a picture or two. To breathe for a time, and remember that whatever happens, the sun always rises and sets the next day.

But he has people waiting for him. Friends he avoided for over a year because he’s ashamed of what he’s become.

The thought sobers him up a little, until watching the sunset seems more like it’ll lead to him thinking about stuff he shouldn’t think about. So he heads straight towards the entrance, and thinks of something he could say to rile you up.

Riling you up always makes him feel better after all.

To his surprise, and perhaps even disappointment, you’re not here when he reaches the studio. The five others are, and Hobi informs him that you’re stuck at a family dinner when he notices him scanning the room for you.

Jungkook mumbles that he doesn’t care, before turning towards Heather and Jiho. Heather has a sad pitiful look on her face, and Jiho is holding in a smile. As for Jiho, he knows you probably told him about your fight last night, and Jiho’s always been like a smaller version of you. His eyes go back to Heather, and he’s pretty sure Bridget already told her what happened, and he can only hope she won’t say anything.

He doesn’t really want the crew to know about his leg. Of course, Hobi knows, but Hobi also promised not to tell anyone last year when Jungkook was forced to quit.

So, it’s without you that Jungkook starts to teach everyone the choreography you chose yesterday. He doesn’t dance as much as he did with you, and he does his best not to look at Heather whenever his steps falter. He doesn’t want to see her pity.

It’s mostly the fear of that pity that made him quit without telling anyone. That, and the fact that he doesn’t want to see you satisfied. Because he’s always thought that you would be happy to know he was hurt and couldn’t dance anymore. Something in the way you always frown or glare at him gives it away.

It’s almost ten when you finally join, cheeks flushed red from the fact you had to run from home, as you complain as soon as you arrive. Even if he thought about how to rile you up earlier, Jungkook’s brain is completely empty when you arrive.

So all he can do is nod in acknowledgment before looking away. He sees your frown in the mirror, and it almost makes him smile.

“We’ve been practicing the first part of the choreography while we were waiting for you,” he says, gauging the waters.

“I said I was going to be there at ten,” you let out, looking at Hobi.

Hobi raises his hands in defense.

It makes Jungkook chuckle. “Don’t worry, you’ll just have to stay here longer tonight.”

Your frown turns into a scowl, and your cheeks are not only red because of running now. You’re angry, and probably a little embarrassed. Exactly where he likes you to be.

“I don’t see why, I practiced with you last night,” you point out.

Everyone’s watching the conversation unfold like it’s a tennis match, turning their head from you to him whenever one of you say something. It makes an amused smirk grow on Jungkook’s lips.

“Alright then, show us what you’ve got.” It’s a challenge, and he sends it your way by finally fully facing you. Maybe he shouldn’t have, because he’s struck once again with how much you changed since last year.

Your hair frames your face differently now, and your features look sharper, as if you’ve lost the baby face he’s always known. Your eyes hold the same daggers though, and he thinks about last night.

He doesn’t remember seeing you as furious as you were last night. He’s pretty sure you were extremely close to killing him on the spot, and the thought of it calms him down a little. His relationship with you is fragile as it is, no need to rile you up in front of everyone.

He’s taken aback by his own thought – has he become more mature without even realizing it?

“Bet,” you let out, before glancing once at Jiho.

Jungkook doesn’t miss the way you roll your eyes and Jiho laughs, hiding it behind her hand. It makes him feel stupid, but it’s too late to make you back down from the challenge. If there is one thing he knows about you, it’s that you’re just as competitive as he is.

Maybe even a little more.

“Just turn the music up,” you say nonchalantly as you meet Jungkook’s gaze again.

Your eyes are shining with mischief and it makes a genuine smile grow on his lips. He’s not surprised at all when you reproduce the choreography perfectly. No, he just watches you move – he’s always liked the way your body moves. As if the space surrounding it belongs to it. As if you can’t be contained by your physical body. It’s beautiful, and he believes you are the best dancer he’s ever seen, except maybe for Hobi.

And himself, back before the accident.

But watching you leaves no place for the accident. All he can think of is that you’ve grown more beautiful while he was gone, as if his absence has given you space to grow. And maybe it has, considering that he was always gently bullying you.

He has half a thought that he should stop doing it. Bullying you, that is. But when you stop dancing and you regard him with a superior look on your face, he just wants to remind you that without him you wouldn’t have been able to dance this choreography at all. He doesn’t quite feel like insulting you though, so instead he says, “Glad you were paying attention last night”.

You look smug, and even though you’re way smaller than him you stand proud and tall. It’s cute, and he lets out a small laugh.

That small laugh is enough to shatter the confidence you are carrying yourself with. “What’s funny?” you ask.

He shrugs. “Nothing.”

You eye him suspiciously, before sighing loudly. “What’s the rest of the choreography anyway?”

That’s a question he has an easy answer to, though he thinks it’s better if you wait. Not you you, but all of the team. He wants the first part to be perfect before you dive into what comes next.

“Ah, let’s see you all dance together first,” he says.

The rest of the dance practice flies by, with Jungkook barely needing to guide you all through the choreography anymore. No, with Hobi and you leading the team, it takes little to no time until Jungkook can just sit in a corner and watch, while his mind keeps on planning what should be next. He has a couple of ideas that he’ll have to run through Hobi before telling the rest of you.

While you all dance together, Jungkook absentmindedly massages his leg. The throbbing pain is not so bad right now, but he knows it’ll be as soon as he gets up. Which might be the reason why he waits when Hobi calls dance practice off. Because he doesn’t want to get up in front of the crew, and have them look at him with the same pity Heather’s been throwing his way all night.

Unfortunately for him, Hobi, Jiho and you linger around. Surprisingly, you eventually drift towards him, leaving Hobi and Jiho to the conversation they’re having – something about their favourite restaurant, which coincidentally is the same. They both look excited, and he realizes he hasn’t seen Hobi smiling so much in a long time.

“Are you sulking in your corner?” you ask as you stop next to him.

You hover over him, and he tilts his head back to look up at your face. He wants to tell you to fuck off, only because he really doesn’t think he can get up right now without cursing like a sailor, and he knows you’ve noticed.

“You’ve got a problem against my corner?”

You cock an eyebrow, and a smile forms on your lips. “No, I was coming to tell you you should leave.”

It’s said gently. Not like you said it last night. Confusion falls on his features and he says, “Why?”

The look you throw over your shoulder to where Jiho and Hobi are standing explains everything. Jungkook’s gaze widens, and he lets out a small laugh.

 “No way.”

You don’t know. You don’t know that his leg hurts, so he has no business being angry at you when you kick it. He just freezes, turning to solid ice, as he feels as if magma is dumped on his knee.

“Shut up,” you say, and the only reason you don’t realize you’ve just hurt him is because you’re still watching Jiho and Hobi. “Let’s leave them alone.”

Jungkook gulps, and he takes a deep breath to calm the pain in his leg. It doesn’t do much, and he knows he can’t stand up right now. He needs to find something to say, and quickly.

“Or we stay here and let them go together,” he suggests.

You put your fists on your hips as you look down at him. “Did you shit yourself? Is that why you don’t want to get up?”

He leans his head against the wall, tilting it to the side. “Why do you think I don’t want to get up?”

“Because you haven’t done it yet?”

He reckons he can’t wait any longer. Luckily enough, the small interlude his suggestion has given him has helped with the pain a little, so it doesn’t feel like too much of a challenge to get up.

He plants the right foot firmly on the ground, knowing damn well that if he’s to put weight on his left leg right now he’s just going to humiliate himself in front of you. And then he clenches his jaw so hard he tastes blood before pushing himself up, aiding himself with the wall next to him.

There’s a question burning on your lips. He knows it from the way your eyebrows are almost touching over your eyes. He knows by now that you’re not going to ask it – you’re suspicious about something, but he remembers you for being patient, when it comes to discovering secrets.

He’s always hated how you were able to know everything back then because you were just so patient. He’s pretty sure most of the crew confides in you out of the rest of the group, even though to him Hobi is the right choice. Who would want to confide in a gossiper when Hobi is right there anyway?

Jungkook stands with all of his weight on his right leg. You’re looking up at him now, and he likes that he towers over you: you’re not looking down when he’s standing next to you. You can’t see that he’s not risking putting any weight on his leg at the moment.

Sometimes, he knows he should walk with a cane. He knows it would help him, but to out himself as having a disability? He’s too ashamed to do it.

“Happy?” he asks instead, even as his heart is hammering against his ribcage.

You wet your lips, and his eyes flit to them. You’re smirking when he looks back at your gaze. “You’re adorable.” It’s said condescendingly though, and he wonders if you’re still angry about last night.

You don’t particularly look like you are, but he decides to apologize once more. He’s growing a little tired of all the fighting anyway.

“Hey,” he lets out. He glances over your head to where Hobi and Jiho are still talking, completely oblivious to the world around them. “I’m really sorry about last night.”

He sees you closing yourself off from him. You fold your arms on your chest, shoulders slouching forward a little, and a frown moves on your features. “It’s whatever, Jeon, I don’t care.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I said,” he insists. “It was a little disgusting.”

“You’re always a little disgusting.”

Fucking hell do you know how to rile him up too. “You can’t accept some apologies, can you? You always need to have the last word.” You’re smiling. He realizes you’re smiling, which means you were joking. It makes him shut up, and a pout forms on his lips. “You’re annoying.”

“Apologize to me when you really mean it, Jeon,” you say, and that insufferable smirk hasn’t been dislodged from your lips yet. “We’re not friends, no need to pretend that we are.”

He keeps the pout on for no other reason than the fact you’re looking down at his mouth. “You make it very hard to know what you want,” he complains. “I’m just trying to be decent.”

“Just be yourself,” you say, shrugging your shoulders, as if him being nice to you is not being himself.

He lets go of the pout to play with his piercing for a time. “M’kay then.”

You nod, a satisfied look on your face. You glance at Jiho and Hobi once more, and he follows your line of gaze. “Let’s go now.”

He braces himself for the first step, because he knows there’s nothing he can do to make you change your mind. Surprisingly enough, it doesn’t hurt as bad as he thought it would, and he’s able to follow you. You stop in front of him to wish Jiho and Hobi good night, and he waves goodbye to them before following you out of the room.

“So Jiho’s into Hobi?” he asks once you are out of earshot from them.

You glance at him, shrugging your shoulders. “She might be.”

“I’m pretty positive she has a chance with him,” Jungkook says. “But gosh, after all this time they just now realize it?”

“I mean.” Your tongue darts to wet your lips as you reach the door leading to the world outside. “Some people just take a long time before they realize they have feelings for each other.”

It makes him laugh a little, because to him it doesn’t really make sense. He’s the type who’s always believed that when he’ll meet the right person, he’ll just know.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking.

“Right,” he lets out.

You step outside, and Jungkook breathes in the night air. It’s colder than it was when he arrived, and a little more humid. His damn leg starts to throb again, though it hasn’t really stopped since you kicked it. He ignores it, looking up at the sky to see if there are any stars out. To his disappointment, a cover of clouds hides the constellations from his eyes, and he lets his gaze drop to the cement of the road, and to the orange glow of the neon lights.

He’s put away his camera for the summer, just because he needs a break from college. Visual arts being his major, taking pictures has been feeling like a chore to him lately, but he’s struck that the street is giving an eerie vibe right now, one he knows he’d be able to capture well.

“You know,” you let out, words loud enough to dim the sounds of frogs in the distance. “As much as I hate your guts, I’m glad that you’re back.”

You have a way of lacing insult to compliment that makes him reel inside. He doesn’t know how to interpret the feeling, so he just says, “Your ass needed saving, I’m glad I could provide”.

“I did not need saving,” you grumble. “Just some help.”

He cocks an eyebrow, glancing at you with a no-bullshit look on his features. “What part of the choreography did you come up with again?” he asks teasingly.

“The part where you shut the fuck up.”

He bursts out laughing, and he’s surprised when you join in too. It reminds him that he’s known you for a long time, and even if you’ve never really been friends, you do share some sort of a relationship. Enough so that you can laugh at a dumb joke together.

“Wow, my bad,” he says once he stops laughing.

You look at him, and the proud smile on your lips makes him go brain dead for a few seconds. “Nah, for real, the crew really needed you. I’m glad you came through.”

He holds your gaze, features falling serious as your smile melts into a softer one.

“I’m glad I did too.”

He really is. It feels like he’s in heaven, being able to participate in the act of dancing again. Not by doing it himself, but by having people do what he wishes he could do. It really does feel like coming home.

You walk in silence for a time, listening to the cry of the frogs. It grows louder as you near the small river where they reproduce each year. It reminds Jungkook of spring, and it strikes him how much he’s progressed since last year.

Indeed, at this time of the year last year he was still in his cast.

“Do you think you’ll want to dance again one day?” you ask.

It’s said in a small voice, and he knows you’ve gathered by now that dancing is a sensitive subject to him. He likes how you’re being gentle with it, and maybe that’s the only reason why he doesn’t get offended with the question.

“I never really wanted to stop,” he admits. “Stuff just happened and I couldn’t anymore.”

He’s speaking in the past tense, as if he can dance now. He knows damn well that’s impossible.

“You know, if you ever need to talk to someone about the stuff that happened, we’re all ears for you,” you tentatively say.

It kills the magic of the moment to him. The fact you used “we” instead of “I”. It reminds him that you truly aren’t really friends, and that you won’t ever be friends either.

“I know,” he just replies, and silence reigns around you once more.

Except for the frogs, that is.

You reach the bridge over the river, and the frogs are so loud here it doesn’t really allow for conversation anyway. But even once you’ve crossed the bridge, nearing the intersection where you’ll have to part ways, you both don’t talk.

Jungkook doesn’t think you need to. Silence with you is strangely more comfortable than a conversation. Maybe because then you’re not at each other’s throat all the time.

You near the intersection, and it’s then that you talk again. “How are you getting home?”

He motions towards the bus stop. “I’ll just take the bus.”

You nod, and he watches you as you put your hair behind your ear absentmindedly. “How long of a ride is it for you?”

He shrugs. “I’ve never really paid attention. Maybe forty-five minutes?”

“Oh,” you let out. “I can order a Lyft for you, if you want.”

Your kindness sounds suspiciously like pity, so he declines it right away. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll just listen to some music and think about the choreography. I think I can tweak some parts of the first half to make Scottie use more of his shoulders.”

You hum. “Alright then. Guess I’ll see you around?”

You’ve reached the intersection by now, so Jungkook nods. “See you.”

You hold his gaze for a few more seconds before you nod too, turning around as you start walking towards the rich neighbourhood where you live. If he was closer to you, Jungkook would offer to walk you home. It feels like it’s too much though, so he settles on watching you walk away as he sits at the bus stop.

He’s halfway home when he receives a text.

[12:34 am] You🙄: i’m sure the rest of the choreography will be great

He smiles for the rest of the way home.

Friday, May 18th

                You have been watching your phone for the last hour. It’s been suspiciously silent all morning, even though your dad was supposed to call you on Facetime an hour and a half ago. You’re used to him being late – he’s one of the most renowned lawyers of a big city on the other side of the country. It keeps him very busy, but when he says he’s going to call you he usually does.

So, needless to say, you’re a little annoyed as you watch the minutes go by. You’re on your fourth episode of Attack on Titan when you receive a text, and surprisingly it’s not from your father. You pause the episode, waiting until the text disappears at the top of the screen as if it means it never existed.

You still have yet to save Jungkook’s number. You don’t really want to: you still expect him to disappear once again, and since your fight last week you’ve been a little iffy about him.

Or maybe you’re iffy because you’ve noticed he was in pain last Saturday, trying to pretend he was fine. You have a couple of hypotheses as to why he’s left now, but you’re trying not to think about it too much.

You don’t like thinking about Jungkook.

You sigh, before going to your text messages. You’ve long deactivated the ‘read’ function, so you don’t care: you immediately open his text.

[11:36 am] unsaved number: hey, any chance i could run what i’ve got through u before showing it to the crew tmrw?

You’re appalled, somehow, that he wants to run it through you when he can show Hobi instead. You’re about to tell him so when your phone starts vibrating from your dad’s incoming call. You pick up the call, and your father’s face appears.

He’s sporting his best apologetic smile, and you can see the sun painting his wall behind him. It’s earlier where your father is, and the sun is still far from its zenith, which means it hits the glass doors of your father’s balcony almost perpendicularly now.

“Sorry,” he immediately apologized. “Had a call with a client and couldn’t call you before.”

You’ve missed his voice. You haven’t talked to him in two months, and even though it’s been years of him having moved to the other side of the country, some part of you is still not used to the distance.

“No worries,” you say. “The semester is over now, I’ve just been chilling in my room since I woke up.”

“Don’t you have an internship this summer?”

You let out a small laugh at the stern look on his features. As if he has any authority over you whatsoever. “Yes, it starts at the end of May.”

He nods. “Thought so.” He looks away from the camera, and you think you hear some birds singing. He probably left the balcony doors wide open, enjoying the warmth of the Californian early morning. Last time you went he had gotten a few bird feeders, saying he loves to hear them sing in the morning. The peaceful expression on his features tells you he still does. “What are your plans until then?”

You shrug, and a little like he just did, you look away, towards your own window. It’s sunny outside for you too, though it stopped raining only half an hour ago. You hope it won’t rain again today – it’s been raining way too much lately anyway.

“Just taking it easy,” you answer. “Practicing for the auditions for nationals in July.”

He smiles. “Right. How’s that been going?”

You know there’s a high chance he doesn’t really care. He’s never shown up for any of your dance competitions growing up, and it used to make you feel horrible. Until you were old enough to realize your mother treated him poorly, and being away from her for a few days was always a reprieve to him.

It hasn’t changed now that they are divorced, even if your mother stopped coming to your competitions too.

“It’s been great,” you say. “We’re adjusting to being only six and it’s a challenge, but I think we’ll make it.”

“Haven’t you always just been six?”

He doesn’t remember. You don’t know why he would remember: you only mentioned Jungkook leaving to him once last year when the deed happened, and then did your best to forget all about Jeon Jungkook.

You chuckle. “No, we’ve always been seven. Until Jungkook left last year?”

“Jungkook?” he asks.

“Tall guy, with the sleeve of tattoos and a couple of piercings?” you provide, though you doubt it’ll ring a bell to your father. “He joined the crew at the same time as I did.”

Which almost coincides with the month your parents divorced, actually.

“I feel bad for not remembering, but that’s probably because he didn’t matter, uh?” he says it like a joke, and you roll your eyes playfully.

“He doesn’t,” you agree. Only, he does a little, especially now that he’s become the choreographer.

Especially now that he thinks he has to run the dances through you before showing them to the other members.

“Why did he leave anyway?” your father asks, and he once again glances away from the screen.

You wonder if his new wife is around. From the lack of a three-year-old’s screaming, you assume she went out to the park with their son. Is he looking outside because he’s expecting them to come back soon?

“I don’t know,” you reply. You shrug, even if your father is not looking at you right now. “He’s come back to be the choreographer now, though.”

That attracts your father’s attention again. “Wow, a choreographer. Your crew is getting big, isn’t it?”

He’s only partly listening. Because you’re not quite sure he understood what you just said, but it doesn’t matter.               

He’s not really your father anyway.

“Well, we’ll see if we can win nationals.”

“Where are they held this year?” he asks, and he sounds genuine. As if he might be considering coming.

“Some place near here”, you inform him. “In Chicago two hours away.”

Chicago is the city where he used to take you when you were a kid to see the Christmas decoration. It was something you did just you two, and to this day it is still one of your favourite memories of him.

He’s not your father. Biologically, that is. But he’ll always be your dad, no matter how many miles separates you from him.

“Ah, why did I think it was in California?”

“Because you’ve been wanting them to be in California for the last three years?” you tease.

It makes him laugh, which brings a bright smile to your lips. “They’ve been on the East coast for years now, shouldn’t they come to my side of the country?”

You purse your lips, looking up as if pondering. “Maybe you should be the one coming.”

The suggestion dims the light in your father’s eyes. You know he associates this side of the country with your mother, and with a lot of bad memories. You don’t blame him – she did hide from him and you that you aren’t his biological daughter until you found out yourself through some genetic testing when you were sixteen.

“I’ll think about it,” and it’s synonym to no. You know him well enough. He’s quick to change the subject too. “Do you think you’ll be visiting this summer?”

You haven’t really planned to. Something about seeing him with his wife and son always makes you feel awful. And it makes you feel even worse that you’re jealous of his happiness, that you’re jealous your family life cannot be like that. He deserves it after everything your mother put him through.

You’re happy for him though. You can’t deny it. Even though you believed it was risky for him to have kids considering he’s a carrier of a Tay-Sachs disease gene. From what he’s told you, his son didn’t get the gene, which is a relief, but had you been him you wouldn’t have taken the risk.

“I don’t know,” you finally reply. “It depends how busy it gets with the internship and dance practice.”

He’s disappointed, but he doesn’t say anything. He knows how hard it is for you to come, so he mostly asks out of reflex. He’ll never put pressure on you to do it.

“We’re back!” a cheery woman’s voice says.

You reckon it’s risky for her to scream in the house like that when your father might have been on a call with a client, but love makes people stupid.

He greets her and their son, before resuming his attention on you. “I’ll have to go.”

You wish he wouldn’t have to, but you don’t really have anything else to tell him anyway. So you offer him your best excuse of a warm smile, and a moment later you’ve hung up.

It brings you back to the text conversation with Jungkook, and the unanswered message he sent you. You sigh, and maybe if you weren’t feeling sadly nostalgic about your father, you would have told him to run it through Hobi instead.

For some reason, Jungkook feels like a good distraction though, so you reply,

[11:58 am] You: if u can pull up at the studio some time this evening, yeah sure

He replies almost right away, as if he was waiting for you to text him.

[11:59 am] unsaved number: i’ll try to be there around 9😌

You’re annoyed that he chose such a late hour, especially considering you are supposed to meet up with Jiho for girl’s night – aka clubbing and finding some strangers to kiss the night away. Though you reckon she probably doesn’t really want to kiss anyone now that she and Hobi have started to talk.

[12:04 pm] You: depends how quick u are, i’m going out with jiho [12:05 pm] unsaved number: i promise i’ll be quick, i’ve got something tonight too

You have no idea why he suggested tonight then, but you don’t press him for an explanation. Mostly because you don’t really care, but also because you’re excited for girl’s night, especially considering you missed last week because Jiho had a family dinner.

You can just hope that Jungkook is right on time.

*****

                You will kill him. You will murder Jeon Jungkook. You reckon you should have murdered him last week when you first wanted to – you would have been rid of him already.

No, you had to ask him to leave instead, and now he’s almost an hour late, and you have to meet Jiho at her house in twenty minutes. Her brother is coming with you, and he’s bringing his boyfriend, and you really want to meet the mysterious Felix.

Jeon Jungkook can go to hell.

You texted him when he was only ten minutes late. You know it takes him a long time to get here, so you just gave him the benefit of the doubt at first. But now it’s getting far too late for it to just be the bus, and your blood is positively boiling, enough so that you text Jiho.

[9:49 pm] You: what if we change plan tonight to murder jk😤 [9:50 pm] Jiho❣️: omg i was gonna text u [9:50 pm] Jiho ❣️ hobi sent me this

She forwards a video to you. You furrow your eyebrows before clicking on the video, and loud music blasts out of your phone. You quickly turn the volume down, even if you’re alone in your small studio, and you focus on the screen. It looks like a living room, though the light bulbs have been changed to red. The video starts by showing off Hobi’s face as he’s smiling, and then he starts laughing and turns the camera around.

Jeon Jungkook is shotgunning a beer in the middle of the living room, not caring that half of it spills on the floor. You don’t watch the rest of the video, immediately going back to texting Jiho.

[9:51 pm] You: is he at a FKG PARTY????? [9:52 pm] Jiho❣️: seems like it🙄 [9:52 pm] Jiho❣️: Hobi invited us and sent the vid [9:52 pm] Jiho❣️: i don’t think he knows jk was supposed to go to the studio [9:52 pm] You: HOLD ON?!😳 [9:53 pm] You: hobi invited us??? or invited u😏

Jiho sends a bunch of shy emojis, before adding:

[9:53 pm] Jiho❣️: he knows we’re going out tonight, so us [9:54 pm] Jiho❣️: he might have said he wants to see me tho☺️🫣

You shriek. Loud and clear, and you almost forget how angry you are at Jeon Jungkook. No, if you go to that party, it’s to make sure Jiho and Hobi get together. Jungkook can go fuck himself.

[9:55 pm] You: BITCH HE SAID WHAT [9:55 pm] You: I SHIP THIS SO HARD😍 [9:56 pm] You: is he cool with sungie and his bf coming too?🤔

Jiho takes a moment before replying, long enough that you decide to leave the studio. It’s clear that Jungkook is not going to come anyway, and you’d rather shriek with Jiho than at your phone. Whatever you did last week probably worked if Hobi wants to see her now.

You’ve never been so happy for your best friend in your whole life.

You walk quickly, happy that you chose platform boots for tonight. Jiho’s platform boots, to be precise. You’ve paired them with knee-high socks, a black skirt and a pink corset that hugs your body perfectly. For now, it’s hidden under an oversized gray sweater, and you walk with your head hung low.

It occurs to you as you near the bridge that you should have taken a Lyft to go home, because it’s late and you’re a woman. Luckily though, you don’t see anyone until you get to your neighbourhood, and then you just see a couple walking hand in hand. They offer you a smile that you reciprocate awkwardly, and a few minutes later you finally arrive at Jiho’s house.

Jiho, Jisung and an unknown blond-haired guy are sitting on the porch, and Jiho jumps to her feet as soon as she sees you.

“Bitch?” you say as a way of greeting, right as she jumps in your arm. “He wants to see you?”

She’s nodding happily, but she remains silent.

“She hasn’t shut up about it in the last twenty minutes,” Jisung puts in. “I think I’ll kill her before we even reach that lame ass frat party.”

“The only thing lame here is your attitude,” Jiho throws at her brother as she pulls away from the hug. “That, and Jeon Jungkook,” she adds, looking at you now.

You roll your eyes, but you’re not going to let the mention of him ruin your night. Not when Hobi and Jiho are on the line.

You reckon you don’t even care that Jungkook is at the party. You don’t care that he stood you up, but you’re still going to give him shit for it, aren’t you?

“Let’s not think about this asshole,” you say. And then you move closer to where Jisung and Felix are standing, and you wave to the latter. “Hi, I’m Y/n.”

He smiles and he replies with the deepest voice you’ve heard in your entire life. “Nice to meet you. These two had lots of stuff to say about you.”

You eye Jisung and Jiho suspiciously. “Good things, I hope?”

They look sheepish, and Jisung says, “I might have mentioned the vodka incident”.

“Sung-ie!” you yelp. “It was one time, like eight years ago! Did you tell him about that time we found you naked in a snowbank? You could have died.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Felix lets out, and Jisung charges towards you, probably with the goal of killing you.

It makes you scream as you run away, but he grabs you before you’ve reached the end of the driveway. He picks you up, arms wrapped around your middle, and you kick the air in front of you as you laugh loudly, something between snorting and shrieking. It’s a disgustingly childish sound, and it’s probably way too loud for the peaceful neighbourhood.

Jisung puts you down, even though he probably considered throwing you first, and you spin around with the intention to shove him, but he’s already moved away.

“Do you know the amount of embarrassing stories I can tell about you?” you say, just to be a little brat.

He’s flushed red, and he says through gritted teeth, “Please, not in front of…” he trails off, motioning towards Felix with his head.

“I’m sure Felix wants to know all the embarrassing stories, do you?” you ask towards the guy, and Jisung is running towards you again.

You dodge this time, and he almost falls before you both burst out laughing as Felix just watches with a soft smile on his lips.

“Are they always like this?” he asks Jiho.

She nods. “You put two idiots together and it’s bound to happen.”

“I’m sorry what!” you burst out in time with Jisung, and the group all laughs.

It’s in this childish atmosphere that you all filter into the Lyft Jiho ordered once you arrived, and you talk and laugh together. Turns out that Felix is Australian, and you all tease him for his accent. It’s probably something that Jiho and Jisung have been doing a lot, because he looks at you for salvation until you repeat “naur” in your best Australian accent imitation.

You feel sixteen again, and it’s healing, somehow. For what, you don’t know. Maybe because talking to your father this morning felt nostalgic, and Jiho and Jisung are reminding you that you do have your own family.

The Lyft drops you in front of a house. It’s not on campus, so it’s probably not a frat house. It feels like one though, considering the booming music you can hear even though the windows are closed. You think of the video Hobi sent, and of Jungkook shotgunning a beer.

If there is a frat thing to do, shotgunning a beer seems like it’s at the top of the list. Especially when it’s not done well because, truth be told, you don’t think frat bros are good when it comes to drinking alcohol. They just tend to overdo it all the time, until they’ve made a fool out of themselves. It seems Jeon Jungkook is not an exception.

“So, are we going in?” Felix asks, and a chorus of “saur” answers him.

He’s the kind of person that has an easy laugh though, because he just bursts out laughing in time with you all. You all move towards the house still, and you figure you don’t need to knock to open the door.

As soon as the door opens, the music volume goes up, and you wince as you glance at Jiho. “Never took Hobi for a frat bro.”

She rolls her eyes, laughing a shy laugh. “You know he’s not a frat bro.”

“This is a frat party,” you say, loudly because you’ve moved inside and you don’t think she’ll be able to hear you.

“This is a house party,” she replies. “It’s not the same thing.”

You roll your eyes at her, and then the living room comes into view. It’s not as full as you thought it would be, but there’s still a small crowd gathered around the room. You recognize some of the people because you’ve seen them last week. Bridget and Jo are there, along with Hobi and Jungkook’s friends. There are a few people you’ve never seen before – and you see a couple disappearing downstairs, closing the door behind them.

It makes you laugh, right as Jo and Bridget notice you. Jo waves you over, and you link your arm with Jiho to pull her towards the girl. For now, Hobi and Jungkook are out of sight, so you figure greeting Jo and her friends is the most important thing to do.

You’ll kill Jeon Jungkook later, after you’ve made sure Jiho is all set with Hobi.

“Hey girls!” Jo greets you when you stop next to her. She giggles drunkenly, and you reckon she’s probably a couple of shots in already.

Taehyung is nearby, so you’re not worried about her.

“What’s up?” you ask as you loosely hug her and Bridget.

You’re pulling away from Bridget’s hug when Heather appears. Her cheeks are flushed red with alcohol, and she wraps an arm around your neck and Jiho’s neck to pull you into a tight group hug, shrieking something incoherent.

She’s clearly indulged in alcohol a lot already.

Bridget pulls her off you two, and you all laugh as Heather mumbles an apology.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” she says with her slurred speech.

Bridget winces, before looking at Jo. “You need to stop making everyone drink so much.”

“The semester is over, let us have fun.”

Bridget laughs, shaking her head. “You’ve been dating Tae for what, two weeks? And you’re already changing into a party girl. Kiko is never going to talk to you again.”

Jo pouts. “Kiko loves me, I’m all good.”

You have no idea who Kiko is, so you glance at Jiho. She’s moved to let her brother and Felix into the circle, and she starts introducing them both to everyone. It seems it’s an opportunity for shots, because Jo links her arm with yours to bring you into the kitchen, claiming she’ll need help with the shots. You follow because you like her, and partying with her again sounds like a good time indeed.

You’re halfway done pouring shots for everyone when the door leading to the backyard opens, and Jimin, Hobi and Jungkook come in. They’ve got bloodshot eyes, and it’s easy to figure out what they were doing out there.

You stop pouring as Jimin sees you first, and his mouth falls open in surprise, before moving into a warm grin. He says your name, and he moves towards you.

“How are you?” he asks you, and he lets out a small laugh as if that was the most clever thing he’s said in his life.

Yeah, he definitely is high.

You haven’t talked to him a lot, since you saw him at the bar two weeks ago. He dmed you on Instagram, like he had said he’d do, but the conversation had just naturally died. It had been a friendly conversation though, and you’re happy to see him tonight.

“Clearly not as baked as you, but I’m good,” you reply, and you resume pouring the shots as Hobi and Jungkook just watch you.

They start laughing, which you reckon makes you laugh a little too. It’s awkward, and Jo just surveys the scene with a small knowing smile on her lips.

You’re forced to pour three more shots for the boys – even Jungkook, and you only do it because Jo glares at you when you frown as she motions at him. Jungkook is still just standing in the spot he stopped when he saw you, and he’s got a dumb smile on his lips.

You don’t know if you like the smile. But it’s sort of cute, and better than the infuriating smirk he’s mastered when he’s around you.

When all the shots are ready, you carry them all on a tray back to the living room. Jo helps you in handing them out to everyone, and a moment later everyone downs their shot. You wince at the taste of tequila, and you feel a pair of eyes on you that make your blood curdle inside.

It’s Jungkook, and even though you didn’t mind him in the kitchen, you’re suddenly reminded that he stood you up tonight. You’re going to need a lot more alcohol if you’re to confront him, so you pull Jisung and Felix behind you to the kitchen so you can mix yourself a drink. You settle on gin and tonic while Jisung makes two rum and coke for him and his boyfriend, and then you’re on your way back to the living room when Jungkook appears in front of you. You stop, which makes Jisung bump into you, which makes you spill your drink a little on Jungkook.

He looks down at the wet spot on his shirt, and then up at your face. Even in the red light of the living room, you can still see his blown-wide pupils, and they search your features for a few seconds before going to your drink.

“If you wanted me to take off my shirt you could have just asked,” he says.

“What the fuck?” Jisung lets out. “Isn’t that the dude that ghosted the dance crew?”

You turn toward Jisung, eyes widened in warning. He takes the cue, and he grabs Felix by the arm to guide him around Jungkook and towards the living room.

“That was an accident,” you say once Jisung and Felix are gone. “The last thing I want to see is you with your shirt off.”

He laughs. It sounds more like a giggle – it’s not a sound that a tall guy with piercings and a sleeve of tattoos should make. You’ve heard it plenty of times before though, and tonight it rings differently.

Instead of getting on your nerves, you find it a little cute. Which disgusts you so bad you scowl.

“Damn, all this working out for nothing,” he jokes. He looks down at your glass once more, before finding your gaze. “What are you having?”

You’re sick of the conversation. You’re sick of your little brain thinking Jungkook was cute a second ago, so you say, “Why did you stand me up?”

He has the decency to look apologetic. “My plans started earlier. I texted you, no?”

“You didn’t?”

He seems really confused, with a pout moving on his lips as he grabs his phone in a pocket of his black cargo pants. He looks down at the device, blinking a few times as if to bring his screen into focus. And then he bursts out laughing and he shows you his phone.

“I’m so fucking dumb,” he says in between two sets of laughter. “I forgot to press send.”

Somehow, that is such a Jungkook thing to do that you can’t really bring yourself to be angry at him. No, you really have the proof under your eyes, so all you are is a little annoyed, but you’re not furious like you were back at the studio.

“Gosh,” you let out. “I waited for you for an hour.”

His face falls as he pouts again, big eyes turning apologetic. “I’m so sorry. I can show you the choreography here, though.” He says that looking around, scanning the living room as if he’s making sure there’s enough room. He then seems to reconsider, shaking his head a little. “Well, maybe not in front of everyone.”

“It can wait,” you tell him, and you sip your gin and tonic as you notice Jiho and Hobi talking behind him.

“No.”

Jungkook’s little objection brings your attention back to him. “What do you mean, no?”

“We can go upstairs and I can show you in my room.”

You let out a disbelieved laugh. “You live here?”

“Yes,” he says as he nods enthusiastically. “With Jin, Jimin and Taehyung.”

You don’t know the first guy, but you still purse your lips. “Interesting”.

There’s a small silence as you once again sip on your gin and tonic. Jungkook is watching you carefully, as if he’s growing impatient with the silence, and you cock an eyebrow at him.

“So?”

“So what?” you ask.

“Can we go upstairs so I can show you?”

Another disbelieved laugh falls from your lips. “I’m not going upstairs to your room with you.”

He pouts again, like he’s a child and not a grown-ass man. It contrasts deeply with the piercing on his lips, and it makes you feel weird inside. You don’t like it, and you chase the feeling away with a long sip this time.

“Please?” he asks. “I’ve really wanted to show you.”

You roll your eyes. “Just do it here,” you suggest. “Or outside, I don’t care.”

“But you spilled your drink on my t-shirt!” he insists. “You owe that to me, don’t you think?”

You clench your jaw. He is annoying, far too annoying. But he doesn’t seem like there’s any chance you’ll let it go, and if he really wants to show you, then what’s wrong with going up to his room?

You ask yourself that question at least a thousand times by the time it takes to go from the hallway leading to the kitchen and up to his room. You look back once as you walk up, mostly because you’re afraid someone will see you. You’re relieved when you see no one looking, and you quickly follow Jungkook until you’re out of sight.

You let out a sigh of relief, until Jungkook stops in front of you and you bump into him, spilling even more of the gin and tonic on him.

It takes a few seconds for you to realize he stopped because Jo is in front of him, and the moment she sees you her mouth falls open and she lets out a loud laugh.

“Wow,” she lets out.

“It’s not what you think,” you immediately defend yourself, though you reckon it makes it look a lot more suspicious.

“I just need to show her something,” Jungkook mumbles, with that same pout he’s been using for a while now.

Jo hums. “Right.” She looks at you, before walking around Jungkook. She’s starting to walk down the stairs when she says, “Have fun”.

You take it back. You’re not sure you like her anymore.

You reluctantly follow Jungkook to his room, and you only realize then how warm you’ve been. Because his room is blissfully cool, and the purple LED lights you’ve seen when he called you on Facetime the other day make for a good reprieve for your eyes.

You’re surprised to see his bed is neatly made, and there’s not a single piece of clothing on the floor. For some reason, you’ve always thought he’d be a messy person, but no, his room is pristine. He has a gaming set-up in one corner, and the RGB lights move from purple to light blue in a hypnotizing wave.

And then, you almost drop your red solo cup as Jungkook pulls his shirt off while taking a few steps towards a dresser. The muscles of his back work under his skin as he rummages in a drawer to find a new shirt after having put the wet one in a hamper. He holds a t-shirt up triumphantly, and he turns towards you with the biggest smile on his face.

The front of his body looks just as good as the back, but your eyes stop on a gash on his stomach. A scar, with jagged edges that almost look painful to the touch. It starts on his side and goes down until it disappears in his pants, almost following the V-line shaped muscle to the millimeter.

He doesn’t notice your look. Or if he does he doesn’t care, because he just puts the shirt on, until his skin disappears from you.

That scar didn’t use to be there. There’s no chance in hell it would have gone unnoticed.

“So, I might be a little too drunk and high to perform well,” Jungkook says, as if you’re not looking at him with a horrified gaze, “but I think we could…” He furrows his brows. “Is something wrong?”

You don’t know what to say. You just shake your head no, before mumbling, “Sorry, go on”.

He doesn’t seem like he wants to let it go, but then he shrugs. “You know how the rhythm of the song slowly changes? I think we could use that to make a cool bridge.”

He pulls out his phone, before moving to a small speaker on his night table. He turns the speaker on, and a few seconds later the song starts to play. He starts dancing but stops way before he reaches the part he mentioned in the song.

“This is awkward,” he says, and he laughs. He pushes his hair back, eyes still boring through yours. “You’re right, I shouldn’t be showing you this here.”

“Jeon, I’ve seen you dance a thousand times before, you’re all good,” you say, encouraging him to continue.

“I don’t dance like I used to though,” he points out.

He’s right, but now that you’ve seen the scar you’re afraid the worst scenarios you’ve thought up might be true after all.

“If you’d rather wait until tomorrow then that’s okay too,” you suggest, offering him salvation.

He seems to ponder, and a disappointed look takes over his features. And then they just turn dark, filled with ghosts and demons. The same ones he was fighting last week a moment before your argument.

He sighs loudly, before sitting on the side of his bed. You still haven’t moved from your spot next to the door, and your red solo cup will soon be empty. You need to figure out something else to occupy yourself when the air turns awkward, because it sure does turn awkward now.

Jungkook clears his throat, and then he lets out a small bitter chuckle. “You saw the scar, uh?”

You can’t lie, so you just offer him a small, “Yeah”.

“That one is not even the worst one,” he admits. “I’ve got a big one on my leg, and a smaller one from the two surgeries to reconstruct my knee.”

Your heart is beating uncomfortably in your chest. You’re not sure Jungkook wants to be telling you this, and his defeated form makes you ache. You wish you could take the pain away, but all you can do is stand where you are and listen to him as he keeps on talking.

“We were in a car accident last year? I’m the one that got it the worst. It fucked up my leg. And I almost lost a kidney. The kidney is fine now but uh…” He runs a hand through his hair, and only then does he look at you. You wish he didn’t, because the pure look of despair in his eyes makes your throat constrict as a lump forms at the bottom of it. “That’s why I can’t dance anymore. I even had to relearn how to walk.”

He falls silent. The song is still playing, probably because Jungkook put it on repeat, but you reckon you haven’t paid attention to it since he started talking. You hold his gaze, and you can’t for the life of yourself find any hatred for him in you. Because you don’t know what you would do if dancing was taken away from you.

You would be devastated, that’s for sure.

“I…” you start, but you don’t find anything to say. “Wow, Jungkook.”

He looks down at the floor, and he massages his leg mindlessly. You noticed him doing it last week, but now you know why.

“A funny thing, though, is that I have some metal in my leg now? If I do an MRI it’s going to legit rip from my skin.”

There is absolutely nothing funny in that statement, and you just look at him blankly. “Jungkook…”

He scoffs now, and he sounds like a wounded animal. He is a wounded animal. “See, that’s why I didn’t want you all to know.”

“Why?” you ask.

“Because you think I’m pathetic,” he snaps. “You look at me with that pitiful look on your face and I fucking hate it. It’s already hard enough to deal with the consequences of it all by myself, but having people pity me? It feels like shit.”

He’s getting worked up, and you don’t have time to say anything before he continues, “Like okay, my dream was taken away from me! But who fucking cares, you’re probably just happy because you’ve always hated me, and now you don’t have to deal with me anymore.” He hits his forehead with the side of his clenched fist, as if he needs to knock some sense into himself. “And Bridget told Heather and Heather’s been treating me like I’m a fucking child. Just because my leg is hurt doesn’t mean I’m a fucking child, you know.”

He glares at you, while you just watch with a widened gaze, your mouth a little open from the surprise of his outburst.

“And the worst part is, it hurts. All. The. Fucking. Time. I can’t even walk without it hurting, it hurts so bad some days I can’t even get out of bed. It’s been hurting more since I danced last week as if to say, ‘bro, don’t even dare doing something that you love’. It’s exhausting.”

There’s a small silence, and he’s breathing heavily. He’s really worked up now, and you’re still just watching without knowing what to do or say. Your red solo cup is entirely forgotten in your hand. You don’t think you’ve blinked since he started talking, and the horror of it all has not even fully hit you yet.

“I just want it to stop,” he continues. There’s an edge to his voice, and you realize he might just burst out crying then and there. “And I’m going to be sick.”

He’s barely finished saying the sentence that he bends over, throwing up right in front of his feet on the floor. That shakes you out of your trance, and you gag at the sounds he makes while he’s sick. You turn your head away from him, and you quickly fish your phone out of your sweater’s pocket. All you can think to do is text Jimin, and Jungkook is wiping tears on his cheeks when you glance back at him.

“Fuck,” he curses. “I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him, but you know you’ve gone white. You’re not good with people being sick, and if you stay in this room just a moment longer you’ll be sick too. “It’s okay, Jungkook, you’re all okay.”

“I’m not though,” he says, and he hides his face in his hands.

You don’t like seeing Jeon Jungkook like this. You much rather prefer when he’s being a pain in the ass, as if his only purpose in this world is to be a prick to you. Now he just looks like a broken man, and nothing you’ve learned in your whole life has ever prepared you to deal you with such a situation, especially not one happening with him, the man you’ve always hated.

You’re lucky enough though. Someone knocks at the door, and you quickly pull it open. It’s Jimin, and he’s got a concerned look on his features. It just gets worse when he sees Jungkook, and his eyes dip to the puddle on the floor.

“Shit,” he curses. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” is all you can think to say.

“Can you go get Taehyung?” Jimin asks gently as he steps into the room.

You nod, because you really need to get away before you get sick too. Some part of you feels horrible to leave Jungkook behind but, for your own good, you need to go.

Call it preservation or something.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

Oooooof poor Jungkook🥺☹️ I wish I could give him a good hug bc gosh he deserves it Sooo what did we think this week? Did we like it? Let me know!✨

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

Taglist (strike-through means dumblr is not letting me tag you, my bad):

@chimchimmarie | @pamzn | @sugaluvmyg | @tearyjjeon | @jkclouds | @libra04 | @parkinglot-nights | @ggukieasy | @omnomnomtron | @jichimx | @synnfulqt | @leedoesntknaur | @pornichet | @melodiesforarii | @oopscoop | @nadzzzblog

[toomanygh0sts]

hi!!

i would love to know number 10 and 12 for the fic writer ask :))

hello!

10. Do you have a favorite POV to write?

Weirdly enough, no! I genuinely enjoy writing from whichever POV I feel is necessary for the plot (or switching them up within a story). There are genuinely elements I love about writing from every POV I've attempted thus far. A few months back, I might have said I enjoyed Rebecca's best, but at this point I think I can safely say that was just because I felt most comfortable writing from hers. I still adore Rebecca POV, but I've had a blast exploring Ted (and Shipley) in published fics, and I've been loving playing around with some others in some (very very very very early stage WIPs).

I will say I really loved writing T/R from Shipley's POV, the freedom that came with such a minor character, and I would love to do something like that again.

12. What's your longest WIP? What's it about?

My longest WIP is an exploration of Ted and Keeley being two characters that deserved more screentime together (with Rebecca), because sometimes I think about the the similarities between the two, their respective (but very similar) roles in Rebecca's life, and I want to scream. There's late-in-life bisexual awakening (or acceptance) and some surprise visit(s) to Ted in Kansas. I really want to give each aspect of the relationships this fic explores their due diligence, which is making it lengthier than I had originally planned. When it's all said and done (which it will be! eventually!), it'll be Keeley/Rebecca, Ted/Rebecca, and Keeley/Rebecca/Ted (and maybe a secret fourth thing...implied).

Including an (unedited, first draft!) excerpt from a T/R scene because I did with the last WIP ask and fair is fair!

Ted laughed, taking a swig of his beer. His tongue darted out to lick the excess left on his mustache. Rebecca couldn’t have drawn her eyes away had she wanted to (she didn’t). He cleared his throat, and she brought her gaze to meet his. His eyes were soft in the combined glow of the candle and fairy lights, his pupils large to accommodate the darkness (‘but that’s not the only reason, is it?), and he was smiling. His hair, so perfectly coiffed in Richmond, had significantly less product in it, and it fell easily into his forehead. Reading her mind (as usual), he pushed the errant strands back. Rebecca thought he had never looked so beautiful. She felt her face flushing, and broke eye contact, reaching for her own bottle. 

“Ted, stop looking at me like that?” She wasn’t sure why she phrased it as a question.

“Like what? I’m just lookin’. Still can’t believe this isn’t one of my dreams. You’re gonna have to pinch me.”

She obliged, reaching over and pinching his forearm. He laughed again, but grabbed her hand in his before she could bring it back to her side of the table, covering it gently as he stroked her thumb with his. She felt the touch in her core. She sucked in a sharp breath, knowing it wasn’t subtle.

“Like what?” Ted repeated, quieter than before.

“Like…I don’t know. Keeley might call it ‘heart eyes’ but I don’t think–wait. You’ve dreamt of me?”

“Would that be so bad?”

“Ted–” She turned her hand where it still laid under his, meeting his palm with hers. “I’ve dreamt of you too.”

Ted squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you showed up, Rebecca. Been meaning to ask if you wanted to pay me a visit, just didn’t know how. My brain could only come up with inquiries to the state of your ‘Eat, Drink, Fuck’ tour, and I know you’re not my boss anymore, you’ve told me enough times, thank you, it felt wrong asking like that. And besides, I didn’t know if I wanted to know the answer.”

“I called it off. The ‘Eat, Drink, Fuck’ tour that is. Felt too much like self-sabotage, and I left that behind a while ago. A mustachioed man helped. And really, I only ever planned one stop.”

“Yeah?”

“‘Yeah.’” Rebecca did her best to mimic his accent (she thought she nailed it). “Although I might have been wrong, this doesn’t feel like self-sabotage anymore.” 

“Rebecca–”

She squeezed his hand once, then stood, walking over to his side of the table. He turned on the bench so he was facing her, smiling up at her as he took her hands in his own. She swung their hands, suddenly shy. 

“Tell me I’m not misreading things, please?” Ted tugged her hands lightly, and she took it as a cue to straddle his lap, letting go of his hands so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders. He had one hand on her thigh, playing with the hem of her dress. The other was low on her back, rubbing gently. She leaned her forehead against his. 

“Do you still need me to answer?”

[way2gosuperrstarr]

If I get any details wrong while asking questions, feel free to correct me!

• Is SDGO featuring your OCs, a self instert, or a Reader-Insert? (Or all three)!

• Moon seems to initially be quite timid. Is this due to him worried about scaring the kids or is a multi-faceted issue?

• Who falls for who first? 👀 Also, fast burn or slow burn?

-- while i do draw a self insert when drawing pieces and stuff for sdgo, the variation named monday, i do intend for this au to be reader/self insertable for others as well !!! meaning that 1) if anyone wants to draw anything, they would feel comfortable drawing themself in monday/yn's place, and 2) if i wrote it, it would be in a 2nd person "you"! if that makes any sense,,,

basically, it is technically a "yn" au, however i just draw my own self insert variation in most things i doodle instead of a blank yn :)! makes it funner(funner?) for me to draw stuff! yn also has a lot of aspects of myself in them even as the "blank" version. if i ever wrote it they would absolutely still have glasses, for example. as well as when i draw the blank version; they still have glasses and i still draw them w knee braces.

and i do insert a couple ocs here and there, just to fill in some side roles, like interviewers and minor role coworkers, and help the world not feel so empty, if that makes sense?

so i suppose all three? haha

-- he is indeed worried about scaring the children in this "new role". i like to think he wouldve been quite confident on stage during the theatre; he and sun had a great acting routine going, sun in the spotlight as the hero and moon the "villian" or misguided other, who was aways either vanquished or redeemed in the end. moon didn't really care what the "others"/audience thought of him, as long as he had sun as his friend, and some of the other animatronics. funny enough, i think, being switched to the daycare brings on a wave of "stage fright" that moon is absolutely not used to dealing with. he's used to beign quite comfortable and confident in his role, and maybe he didn't notice how much time he spent in the shadows and "hiding" behind sun until he's expected to be doing something actually, personally, interacting the "other" on his own. and a lot of his and sun's theatre habits leak through into the childcare programming. which means, moon is a tiny bit 'scary' to the kids at first. he still acts a little 'creepy', he's still crouched low to the ground and giggling and doing this silly little shrimp walk and contortions while walking toward these children. it scares them a little! his whole stress thing sort of manifest as a timid sort of odd behavior.

he's more used to sun handling interacting with the other.

-- honestly ...,,, great question. i was thinking the dca ,, yn's a bit occupied with juggling a couple life things; vanessa, handling their new job, adjusting to the changes in their hometown that happened without them and that the world wont stop for them... romancing a robot isn't at the top of their list of priorities, for good reason. they probably wouldnt even think about it even if they were starting to "feel the feelings."

the dca on the other hand,,, really, yn and the daycare and the pizzaplex and everything inside are all they know or have to think about. before the virus, they got a LOT of time to just be sort of..... thinking about things. in their mind, they have all the time in the world! while they of course still have issues, a lot of their issues are centralized in one place- the daycare. the pizzaplex. that being said i think they'd fall for or at least realize first. i think, all things considered, ignoring the grand opening and prep stress, they'd have quite the nice existence for a while; and time to ponder their feelings about things. they might have a bit of a crisis if they realize they have feelings for a human being, but that's a whole other issue!

as for the burn-rate ?? i would like to imagine slowburn,,, but i also know im kinda dogshit at pacing haha

i feel like this sorta turned into word salad at the end but ???? hope this answers ?? agagga

[nanasalt]

YES give me literally ALL the salty opinions on Anastasia the Broadway Musical

I feel like when I watched it I liked it, not loved it, but then the more I thought about it/ESPECIALLY the more I saw the fandom praise decisions that were made, the worse the whole thing got

I wish I could remember which post this was in reference to, but I do have an entire salt tag! Showing here.

The weirdest bit, to me, was watching people act as if film!Dimitri and musical!Dmitry have literally anything in common. Film!Dimitri is a great character who I love, and people used their warm memories of him to justify Klena's stage Dmitry who was, frankly, an asshole. He threatens her, he doesn't put in half the work she or Vlad does in the con, and is just ... awful. I love asshole characters, and honestly have a soft spot for asshole stage Dmitry, but as a romantic option? Absolutely the fuck not.

Anya at least has a similar amnesia backstory to her film counterpart, but that's where the similarities end. Film!Anya is 18, self-assured, and kills the bad guy. Musical Anya is nearly 26, a terrified waif, and simply lies down and waits to be killed. These characters have nothing in common. It frustrates me to no end because we've had more than one version of the story with a good, strong Anna/Anya/Anastasia, and instead we get this absolute void where a character should be.

You could literally replace Anya with the music box, making it a plot about two conmen getting Maria's favorite trinket to her while Gleb tries to stop them for some reason, and nothing would change. Gleb can still choose not to stop this all on his own, because Anya did nothing to change his mind in canon.

The biggest issue in my eyes, and the one we kept coming back to, is that Anya isn't Anastasia. She might be, but so much of the fandom takes it as gospel that she is and it makes the story boring -- and problematic, which is why people don't like it.

Morally, if she's not Anastasia, this is a story of two conmen who gaslight a mentally ill woman into thinking she's someone she's not. One of them falls in love with her because he's carried a torch for this a child he saw one time seventeen year ago. This is a deeply unsettling thing to think about, and given we never see Anya display much fire and personality (outside of the one fight scene) I'm not confident she'll hold her own when Dmitry next yells at her. In fact, I'm pretty sure she'll do what she does throughout the show; go along with being the person he says she is, pretending to be his dream girl.

And here's the thing: the Romanovs were killed in July. Anya talks about being found in the snow by the road. These things are pretty incompatible, since Yekaterinburg is a pretty pleasantly warm temperature around that time of year. So either Anya got shot and dumped twice, or she's not Anastasia.

Then we have a 'villain' who's saying saying "Hey, maybe don't take the identity of someone who's already been condemned to death. Maybe just stay Anya and also out of trouble, please."

That said, I don't like Karimloo as Gleb, so there's that. All his choices are awful and weaken a role that already isn't getting much support from the text.

Honestly, the whole fandom made me feel like I was taking crazy pills. Anastasia is a fun musical, and one with potential, but it is - critically - not good. Feel free to send me your salt as well, I've got LOTS to commiserate about.

Assorted minor complaints!

Dmitry's father was sent to a labor camp when Dmitry was young. Given Dmitry is 27 now, that means that his father was sent to (and died in) a labor camp under the Tsar's regime. Oops. Good thing he was so into that 8 year old he saw back then!

Gleb is consistently cast older when that just doesn't work. If he's any older than Anya, he would've been sent to fight in WWI, which to me would justify anti-monarchy sentiments. Since he's still living at home and considers himself 'a boy' when the Romanovs were killed, he would be Anya's age or younger -- so under eighteen at the time, and under 26 now.

The scene where they call Dmitry 'Dima', as if to establish they know how nicknames work, @ everyone who complained about the '97 film using "Anya". Except that film never said"Anya" was short for "Anastasia", and in the play it's short for "Anna". So.

The ballet that parallels Dmitry to Siegfried and Gleb to Rothbart. You know, Rothbart being the man who dresses a girl up like a princess, and Siegfried being the one to almost shoot her. But sure.

Also, "Odette" does Odile's fouettes there, so you could argue that that is Odile, the fake, the whole time. Interesting choice.

I really cannot stress enough that Anya and Dmitry have no shared backstory at all yet the show pretends they do. "Crowd of Thousands" took place almost two decades ago.

I'm realizing a lot of these complaints are just, nobody looked at the timeline at all. And it seems nitpicky, but it also seems like the bare minimum they could've done, you know?

[coolsomejet]

Some notes on Space Camp

Welp, now the movie is out. I have so much I wanna say, but I’ll wait until it comes out on YouTube to rewatch the movie (because the UI on the PBS Kids app sucks) and also I have a college thing to do tomorrow and Saturday, so yeah. More in-depth posts will come later. For now, I’ll just do bullet points (Spoilers abound, obviously)

The writers finally remembered that Face 9000 exists, and he plays a critical role in relaying information about the Deshrinkulum.

The writers, however, forgot that Commander Cressida exists. She’s not brought up once, not even in relation to the Great Galacto. Well, I guess that’s the law of equivalent exchange.

Speaking of the Great Galacto, he seems to be a commentary on YouTubers/social media influencers that do stupid things and have an impressionable young audience. He’s a good guy, though. He’s also Scottish for some reason. Well, Uncle Zucchini is Brooklyn/Joisey, so I’m not complaining.

As I suspected, Jet’s insistence on working alone ends up making things worse for him. Of course, he just wanted to protect Sean, Sydney, and Mindy, but still.

I predicted that Jet would have a “break the cutie” moment in this movie, and I was right. He even cries at one point. Poor thing. It’s even sadder that it happened to such an optimistic character like him.

According to the song “Brother From Another Sunspot Mother,” Jet adopted Sunspot from a litter. Here’s the thing though: in the flashback, Jet looks like the same age he currently does. This goes against what was established in “Sunday Drive.” That Sunspot lived with the Propulsions since Jet was a baby.

The songs in this movie are really great. They go into all sorts of genres too. Ska (Dear Great Galacto), a Disney-style award bait song™️ (Brother From Another Sunspot Mother”), blues (“Super Hyperdrive”), a marching song (“It Takes a Team”), etc

The scenery shows massive improvement. The trees especially look more realistic, instead of looking like stage props like in the TV show.

Stella was handled better than I thought. Contrary to what her actress said, she wasn’t a “villain.” She was just a jerk, much like Mitchell was. She didn’t do anything to physically hurt Jet and the others or anything. And she becomes nicer by the end of the movie.

As for Mitchell himself, well, they didn’t handle them the best. He spends 99% of the movie trying to expose Stella and Jet, and acts like he hates them. He even vilifies them by saying that they’re plotting to take over the world or whatever. What the hell happened here? They just undid all of his character development?

A minor complaint I had about the main show is that there was a small amount of background characters, and when there were, most of them were white. It made it look like Washington had the diversity of a cornfield, when that’s far from the truth. However, in this movie, there are plenty of people of color. For example, Houston is Black, Aurora is Asian-American, and Dr. Chandra is Southeast Asian. Heck, there are even some plus-size characters in the crowd shots. That’s also a good thing, since most of the earthie background characters seemed to have the same skinny body type. Heck, even Stella is a bit brown, and her voice actress is Asian-Canadian iirc.

Dr. Bergs is back, as is Dr. Skelley. Dr. Rafferty doesn’t appear at all. Maybe it’s because her voice actress was too busy or unavailable. Who knows?

Lillian doesn’t appear either. 😔

For those who wanted Mitchlendez or Propulsean shipping moments, you’re out of luck. Mindy sneaks up on Mitchell just for old times sake, and he does lend her his phone at one point, but that’s it. As for Propulsean, Jet and Sean just have standard friendship moments in the movie. Nothing too shippy, and he doesn’t call him “Seanzo” once. It could be for one of two reasons: the crew decided that they hate the ships and tried to remove any “puppy love” subtext between any characters. The other reason (for Propulsean) is that LGBTQ+ characters in kids shows causes major controversies nowadays, more so than usual, with Ron DeSantis and his fascist friends accusing any kids show that includes LGBTQ+ characters of “grooming.” They even tried to take Work It Out Wombats off the air just for having lesbian mothers. Even so, I’m happy if Jet and Sean are just friends. 

Aside from the basic plot of accidentally going to space, it doesn’t actually have much in common with the 80s movie SpaceCamp.

That’s all, folks!

[m1ck-miffs]

Where did I come from? Where did I go?

Hello little people who live in my computer! Its been so long! So long since I've been here.

Most important things first, No One Saves You is still a thing! It's still happening. I've been secretly keeping it on life support in my little bunker. Things are different, some things a lot different, some things a little different but it is different (and hopefully better written, whoever let me write that first dumpster fire should've been jailed.) I'm no where near having anything ready to present but I felt like cleaning up my old blog, so here I am! Call it spring cleaning or something.

Where did I go? Eh, life. I've done a lot of things in the past two years. I graduated high school, I started college, I got a job, I quit my job, I got a new job, I learned to drive, and I learned to do my taxes. I've worked on my story through all of it but it wasn't my priority, turns out being a semi functioning adult is really fucking hard. Who knew! I'm back in the writing seat but I make no promises.

Where am I Going? Well, lots of places! I graduate with my associates in English this summer, I'm moving to a whole new city, starting college again, and I've got about 8 million things I want to do all at once. I'm learning to take it slow...it's a work in progress.

Okay, okay what you're really here for: to hear about this goddamn story. I figure I'd update you on some changes I've started, under the cut (in case you like surprises.) Think of it like a behind the scenes stage access.

ps. If you were hoping I studied the blade how to code during my two year absence, you're going to be severely disappointed. I am unfortunately still a writer first and a coder second (or maybe last lmao.) So this tumblr and my twine will remain ugly, so sorry (I'm not that sorry.)

Okay, so, there's been a lot of changes, especially to characters. I feel like my previous characters were too flat? One dimensional? Under-planned and underutilized? Sound like they were written by a 16 year old? Maybe all of the above. I'll go through them and tell you a bit about the sparkly new and improved people I've pulled fresh out of the oven.

Missy (They/She): Missy has changed, not a ton a ton but some. They're still mean but a little less intensely so. Their design has been altered and I think I've made them more three dimensional and a little less of a rich whinny unlikeable asshole. Their background has has some minor alterations but their main changes have been physical and trying to make them less of a caricature. Missy remains mostly unchanged, Missy is eternal.

Miles Tellez (He/Him): Miles has had some minor design tweaks, I'm still trying to decide if I'm giving him a rat tail, but most importantly Miles has had some major personality changes. He's a little less of a sad pathetic meow meow and has more of a backbone. I've tried to make his sadness more realistically believable. He felt a little cartoonishly anxious and sad so I've worked to make him more mature and competent. His background and home life has has some major overhauls but it's mostly details. Mostly just made him less of a crybaby.

Avery (Gender Selectable): Dead. Jk, I completely changed her, so she is kind of dead, I guess. She's not even Avery anymore, she's Jordan. Jordan B. Bowings. I felt that Avery was too flat, too timid, I never connected with her the way I did other characters and I think it was obvious in the way her whole personality was 'cold leadership role.' So i completely scrapped her and started over form a clean slate.

Jordan Bowings (She/Her): Jordan is very different than Avery but retains some of the traits that I had given Avery. She still holds a leadership role but instead of cold stoic leader she's more confident and bright. She's very competent, independent, and warm. She has a lot of elements form Avery's background that I just tweaked. Overall I connect with her way more than I did Avery and I'm really excited to show off more of her.

Bones (Gender Selectable): Bones has changed a lot. It doesn't feel like it to me but they have. They used a pirate aesthetic but that is dead and gone (thankfully.) They're still walking talking human disaster but they used to be a lot colder I'd say they're more friendly now but not in any good way. They're friendly like someone who is trying to scam you is friendly. I've also made them a lot sadder and angstier IDK it just felt right. They're basically a whole new character.

Crash (She/Her): Dead. The content that she was supposed to be in got cut from the story. It just wasn't necessary and was causing bloat. I kind of just wanted to write about cars and the desert and that is quite literally the only reason her character existed so she is gone from the story my apologies.

Blitz (They/Them): Ironically one of the few ROs that people have actually met. Generally remains unchanged but that's not surprising since I've actually has Blitz as a character since at 5th grade. They've had a lot of time to be fleshed out.

LiveWire (He/Him): A whole new character. I felt like the cast needed a few metal heads (literally.)

Rayyan Sobhi (Gender Selectable): Remains somewhat unchanged but their backstory and history with the MC has been tweaked. I think they may go through some more changes because I'm not entirely happy with some aspects of their character but It won't be anything too drastic. I also just decided I'm changing their first name, Its now Nour Sobhi.

The plot has had some changes. it's nothing too crazy just some plot holes that needed to fixed small things like that. I've also started rewriting the story! It still needs a lot of work and I haven't even finished chapter one but I intend for there to a lot more branching choices with different outcomes. this of course makes writing it take so so much longer but ultimately I think the game will be more enjoyable because of it.

Thanks for reading my rambling! Let me know if you've got some ideas, questions, or concerns. I am all ears!

[cloud-the-forgotten]

*looking at your galacta knight and magolor interaction post*

Tell me about your au please. I'm so curious 🥺 /nf /gen

!!!!! /pos

First: context

TLDR: I can't fully explain without spoiling the fic(s) but both big and small changes have been made to the story/timeline! It was originally supposed to be a what-if scenario that became a whole AU. The main changes from canon are focused on Galacta, Meta, Morpho, Kirby, and a few more characters, but the fic I'm working on currently is mainly focusing on Galacta and Morpho (kinda)! There will be small ties to the Animeverse throughout this AU!

Anyway- I can't fully explain it without going into spoiler territory, but I plan on making this a multiple-fic thing! The fic I'm currently working on is mainly focused on Galacta Knight (and Morpho Knight, but mainly Galacta), it's primarily supposed to be a oneshot of Galacta's life before he got sealed, and the things that led to it. The AU technically starts with this fic, most of the games happen to be the same, except for games like Nightmare in Dream Land, Super Star (Ultra) (there are a few minor changes to this game), Return to Dream Land, Triple Deluxe, Planet Robobot, and by extension, Kirby Star Allies, and Forgotten Land! It's also somewhat tied to the Animeverse because [spoilers]

After the first fic, I plan on writing another fic that focuses on Meta Knight! I won't be going into this for spoiler reasons, but this fic is designed to lead to a little before the events of the first game!

After that, most of the changed games will be put into one fic! I'm not exactly sure how I'd do it (multichapter maybe? Or one big oneshot that has obvious time skip spaces between games?) but it'll most likely end a little before the events of Star Allies!

A lot of this AU was built to define the Astral race (Kirby's species) a little more, but the changes to the games were built entirely of what-if scenarios and "I haven't seen a fic for this so I'll make it myself" things that would better fit the AU instead of the actual plot of the games! It's slightly self-indulgent (slightly because wow I planned a lot of angst for this series), and so far there's only one OC planned to show up and (kinda) further the plot of the series, you might have an idea of what their role is if you checked the Galacta Knight and Magolor interaction post!

I've had quite a while to think about this whole thing (I've been working on the first fic since April. Writer's Block and burnout sucks) some things are subject to change since I'm technically still in the early stages of fleshing this whole thing out, but the first fic is almost done and I already have the whole outline for the second fic ready :3

[card-queen]

Story Craft: Primer

Welcome to my series on story craft where I break down my approach to storytelling on a basic level and help you get creating. I've read, watched, re-read and re-watched a lot of material: both fiction and how-to guides. After years of following bad advice, good advice I didn't understand and everything in between, I've come to realise that stories aren't the complex beast I first thought they were. They can be incredibly straight forward and in a series of posts I will make, I will show you what I've learned and hopefully it can help you too.

My posts on this series: Process & Structure Characters: The Basics Characters: Typing Characters: The Little Things Plot: The Basics Worldbuilding: The Basics

First, some general pointers...

The Problem With 'Conflict'

First off, I get it. When everything goes smoothly and no one argues then it can make for a 'too comfortable ride' with no drama. People are here for drama, excitement, angst, joy or whatever other strong feeling your story aims to capture. You can's really achieve those feelings without some kind of conflict. My issue is that too often conflict tends to mean: have the characters disagree about something and use that conflict to drive the story forward. Characters will suddenly lie or keep secrets just to have drama, characters will get possessive or start hammering on about something that was a minor issue earlier, just to have conflict. Conflict can, and does, come from a multitude of places, like situations and outside forces. A murder is conflict and the people tasked with solving it or moving on will often suffer from that conflict. I watched many adaptions of books where the characters were more companionable, working together and attacking different angles of a problems that were absolutely obliterated by the adaptation's need to force conflict between them. CAN said murder bring out negative traits in one of the characters to cause drama and conflict? Of course, sure, why not? But it doesn't have to. You can still have characters be themselves and work together without needing to shoehorn bitter feelings for drama's sake.

tl;dr Don't ruin characters or character dynamics just because some book told you to have 'conflict'. Conflict can come from many places, not just interpersonal disagreements.

Finding 'Character' In Everything

I'll go into greater depth about characters in the entries I make on them but what I want to go over here is treating other aspects of your story and world as if they are characters. My loose understanding of characters and how to get the most out of them (on a very basic level) is that characters often have three key sides to them: Story Function: what they do in the story World Function: what they do in the world Character Function: how they are perceived by others

Story Function is just what they do in the story, from a meta level -- a mentor figure, they betray the group at some point, they are the secret Princess thought to be dead, etc. etc.

World Function is what part they play in the world, usually a job or an aspect/attitude of society key to this world/country/Starbucks/etc.

Character Function is their personality, how we the audience are supposed to feel about them, how other characters are supposed to feel about them -- things that make them THEM.

That'll all be covered in greater detail in one of my character breakdowns but my advice is to think of other aspects of your world and story with this kind of mindset to bring out extra life and flavour. And if you find that all things are hitting on the same note, then maybe switch something up to create a different overall feeling.

If you have an invading country in your fantasy story, maybe think about them from these basic character points. Their story function is to conquer, invade and generally be a threat... but what role do they play on the world stage? Are they a barren wasteland with too many people and too little produce? Are they arcane masters who are governed to believe they are superior to everyone else? Are they desperate people just trying to survive and outrun a plague that is consuming their land and people? And what about their character function? How does the audience and other characters think about them? With fear and loathing for the wasteland they created? With awe and subservience at their knowledge and prowess? With pity and scorn, understanding their plight but feeling a measure of defensiveness?

By attacking big part players in your world (organisations, nations, religions, hidden treasure, etc.) as if they were characters, you can really create fertile ground for character dynamics, natural differences of opinion, how and where characters can differ, where lies can come about, etc.

tl;dr Think of some parts of your world or story as a character to bring out life in them.

Acceptable Stealing

There are no new ideas under the sun. You've heard it before and you'll hear it again. If you like something, you should take it... SORT OF. Plagiarism issues aside, chances are you don't like EVERY aspect of the thing you like. You like this character's arc or this killer moment in a story or how awe-inspiring and imposing this castle was. Basically, you liked how it made you feel.

If you like something, be it character, plotline, place or monster, take an analytical eye to what you like about it starting with how it made you feel. What did it make you think, feel, fear, etc. and how did it achieve that?

Once you narrow down what the feeling you get from that thing, you can take it and replace the details with things that achieve the same feeling but are more uniquely suited to you -- they may even do a better job!

Leaving Room For Magic

There's a lot of talk about planning versus just writing and I think there are times where one method is better and times when another is. Basically, do both. Know when you need to plan and plot things out and know when it's better to just start writing and see where things take you.

When writing, make sure you have a loose guideline or framework of things you want to hit and work towards so you aren't flying blind. Just going with the flow is great for stumbling upon twists, opportunities and great character moments, but always have an eye towards what even scene is supposed to lead to so that you don't end up rambling off course.

When planning, make sure that you leave enough room for magic. People that plan out too far or end up wanting to justify or elaborate on every little issue end up burying the joy that is storytelling. Keep in mind what your story is about and what feelings your scene is supposed to convey and calm down about the stuff that doesn't add or detract from those feelings. You cannot plan your way into perfection and have to let go and just let things play out sometimes. Remember, this is a fun task so don't try to micromanage every aspect.

That's all I've got for the basic stuff. I'll be more wordy and include way more examples and images when I get into the more detailed topics, so stay tuned!

[seyoonlgc]

A new project? The company was looking for eligible male trainees? Hell yeah, of course, he would be auditioning!

Seyoon straightened his shirt, smoothed down his jeans, ran a comb down his messy blonde hair, and waltzed into his interview session. He chose a morning slot because the sun gave him POWER and he intended to outshine his competition to the best of his ability.

"Good morning," he greeted, bowing his head with a smile. "I am Kim Seyoon, here for my interview!"

Why are you interested in being in NEWKIDS NEWDREAMS? [135]

Let's start with a refreshing bit of honesty then, shall we?

I want to be famous, wanna be a star, and be in magazines. Also want to see the world, drive nice cars, and have groupies-

No, that would be too much honesty.

"This project is a debut opportunity and will give me a chance to fulfill my dream of becoming an idol. As a hopeful trainee, I would be kicking myself if I didn't try to take advantage of every opportunity I am presented!" If this project was called OLDMEN OLDFARTNIGHTMARES, Seyoon would still be auditioning. As a man who worshipped at the altar of beauty, Seyoon was very well aware of just how fleeting youth was. He only had a few years to make his debut happen, otherwise, all of these past years spent on training would have been a waste of time.

"While we don't know much about the project, I do think the concept would fit me, judging by the name alone." Seyoon laughed. "To me, New Kids sounds like the company is looking for younger trainees. People who give off a bright, energetic vibe maybe. I think I am a good fit for that!" If there was one thing Seyoon did not lack, it would be stamina. He was constantly bouncing off the walls, and if they observed him in the practice room, they'd definitely see that aspect of his personality.

"Also...I guess I just want a chance to be seen at my best," Seyoon admitted brightly. "I want my parents, grandparents, and younger brothers in Canada to hear the new songs I learned. And my high school friends, scouts buddies, and fried chicken shop regulars too." My mother also. I want to be so goddamn famous that she could not avoid the sight of my face because it would be everywhere. I want her to know despite the fact she won't acknowledge me, I exist.

Considering the current confirmed members, what can you add on and off the stage? [160]

"Off-stage...Uhhh...I mean, I know all of the people in the group and get along with them? BK and I are friends." Fellow partygoers, yeehaw. "I've worked with Noeul on different things before. Misaki and I are buddies, we were also dormmates before. I love Wenjun so much- Sorry, am I answering this question wrong?" Seyoon tapped on his temple, prompting his noggin for more useful tidbits. "Right. I got in a workshop about commercial acting and was pretty good at that so maybe when we are not performing as a group, I could pick up commercials or minor acting roles to boost our popularity?"

"On stage-wise, I can bring my energy, enthusiasm, and good singing! From what I can remember in the practice rooms, BK and Noeul are good rappers. Misaki is a strong dancer, and Yichen is an excellent performer. Wenjun sings beautifully but no group could stand with just one great singer, right? There was always room for another! Oh, also, I am from Canada and fully fluent in English. Do we need an English speaker?"

which skill do you want to be known for & why? [163]

"I would like to be known for my singing because that's where my talent lies, I believe." Seyoon rubbed the back of his head. "I've been singing since I was a child. No lessons, of course, we couldn't afford those since my parents ended up having more kids than they initially planned, and my grandfather on my dad's side was not in good health. I was always in some sort of choir though. Both in schools and at the church. My stepmom always told me I had a far-reaching voice." He made quotations with his fingers. "I think what she meant was she could always hear me from all the way at the back of a room. But if I debut, then those words could take on a different meaning - my voice would be far-reaching because it will be heard by more people and maybe touch some hearts." He laughed. "Seriously, the moment I make it into a permanent group, I am going to call her and tell her that she's predicted it...That she had special powers and knew all along."

what kind of concepts are you good & bad at? [86]

"When it comes to concepts, I think I can do cute, energetic...dark too. Oh, I don't think I will excel at elegant. I am not going to lie - I am not really the princely type." Instead, he was a questionable man who hid his unwashed shorts under his bed and constantly had mud on his shoes. "I think that has to do with growing up on farmland. Sometimes expensive restaurants and formal events can make me feel out of place. I can learn, though! Just put me through a few classes and show me an example of how I should behave. I am a fast learner, I promise."

what kind of group would you ideally want to be part of and why? [87]

"Group-wise, I think being known for great live vocals would be nice because I love those performances the most." He thought about it harder. "To be honest, I just really want to be in a group that is...successful." Would he risk sounding too ambitious with that? "I enjoy groups that have great live vocals. The ones with strong stage presence are amazing too! Ultimately it won't matter, though, if the group doesn't last. Ideally, I would want to debut in a group that has longevity. One that is versatile, can adapt to the trends, and stay relevant for as long as possible."

Seyoon just wanted money. Sometimes he wondered if it was wrong of him to be focused on the financial aspect when a good number of the other kids were entirely invested in their dreams. He supposed everything would be different if he was like some of the other trainees in this company. CEO connections, famous parents. Waving around their black cards while waiting for their chauffeurs in their well-tailored coats. They had more opportunities. If this whole idol situation failed, they could start businesses, go back to school, or even just lie around because their parents could afford to feed them for the rest of their lives. Ugh, sometimes he felt so envious of those people that it hurt.

And that was the end of the interview.

"Thanks for the chat," Seyoon said, bowing first to show his respect, then straightening his back to do a big over-the-head heart. "I am sure there will be a lot more trainees interviewing after but don't forget me, okay?" He grinned. "I really want this!"

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.149 thoughts

[The Boys Just Call Him “Camouflage”]

[Foreward: So it’s occurred to me that the format of my chapter reviews has pretty much been page-by-page (or sometimes even panel-by-panel) summaries with a little bit of commentary, and honestly that’s not really what I want to be doing with these, so I’m going to try to be a bit more freeform with it this week if I can and see if that’s preferable. Please let me know which style you prefer! On with the review]

This chapter is exactly what I’ve been waiting for! I knew Tozuka would make me like Sean, and I knew he’d do it by leaning into EXACTLY who I thought Sean would be! Sean’s my poor little meow meow now, my cringefail son

It’s really appropriate that Sean views himself as being typecast as a side character when he’s literally the one who’s had the least screen time in the entire series. I think that Lucy’s even had more panels than him by this point, though now that he’s had an entire chapter dedicated to him, that’s probably either just changed or is about to change. Either way, it really reframes his previously minor contribution to the story in a new light, as his inferiority complex for being irrelevant, forgotten, and unseen stretches beyond the ink on the page and into the real world, with his only full bodied appearance prior to this being in his character profile. Man, even by omission, Tozuka is great at characterization!

It’s also interesting that Sean’s tragedy is the first to not actually cause a death (aside from Lucy’s). Yeah, his dad died, but there’s no indication that Sean or Unseen had anything to do with it. The tragedy is more that he’s now barred from living the life he wants as an actor taking center stage and instead is roped into living a life of crime. Of course, this unfortunate path in life is what leads to his untimely demise, which I think may be meant to be his true tragedy: aside from Shen and Rip, he’s the only Negator we ever saw die prior to Ragnarok and the only one not to be in some way revived. He had zero agency, always being dragged by the ear into horrible situations by people who were in charge of their lives, and ultimately died in obscurity, the person who killed him and who he tried to kill not even realizing he was there until he was already bleeding on the ground. Unseen in a supporting role to the very end, and he couldn’t even do that right

Even in this loop, nothing has changed: he’s still unable to perform like he wanted, he still gets dragged into a dangerous place where he can’t seem to do anything of value, and even cosmically the guy can’t even be born when he was supposed to! Sean is the ONLY Negator so far who was “born early” like Fuuko said, at least as far as we can tell, which may or may not be because even Tozuka himself forgot that Sean’s age wasn’t right for fitting him into the story he wanted to tell. Or maybe he did that on purpose to show Sean being batted around even more, who knows

Now, I do really love the confirmation that Fuuko wasn’t actually planning to use Sean in this mission initially. Like I said a couple of weeks ago, it seemed odd that Fuuko stated she wanted two more recruits and ended up with three, so knowing that Fuuko only intended on sheltering Sean so he wouldn’t get hurt helps the logic fall into place. And of course, just like in the previous loop, it’s Sean’s narcissistic need to take center stage that ultimately lands him in hot water, as he insisted that Fuuko bring him along to make use of his Unseen just like he insisted on disobeying Rip when he tried to kill Fuuko previously. Even after worming his way into the mission, he ends up being insubordinate and tries to wave the white flag to save himself, which only pisses off Creed

It’s really appropriate that Sean ends up being a major player in the fight against Creed for a few reasons. For one, they have similar ideologies: both strongly value their team (Creed with his men, Sean with is blood brothers). Second, the context they’re fighting in puts those similar ideologies completely at odds: Creed is trying to protect his men in this moment, but Sean isn’t with his blood brothers, he’s with his captors, and doesn’t want to associate with them, but to Creed, either Sean is a no-good deserter or the Union is rag-tag group who aren’t taking this battle seriously. Third, Sean is incredibly weak by Negator standards, and Creed is definitely on the higher end: this was the same set-up as his battle against Top and Chikara, wherein the two of them had to creatively use their Rules in conjunction with each other in order to overcome Creed’s. The way he’s defeated is even the same, with Top and Sean both using their abilities to come up behind Creed and disable him

The deciding factor for Sean this time, what differentiates his final moments as a member of Under and what are now his starting moments as a member of the Union, is that someone on his time actually sees him for who he is. Rip (and by extension Billy) just saw him as coworker at best and a tool at worst; they didn’t do anything to foster loyalty or to really bring out his potential, they just ordered him around and made him feel even smaller than he already did. Fuuko, however, sees how he can contribute and what insecurities are stopping him from meeting his potential, and tells him the words he needs to hear, that he isn’t just a side character. From a purely narrative standpoint, objectively he is a side character in this series, but thematically Fuuko’s words ring true: Undead Unluck follows Fuuko and Andy, but the two of them are only able to accomplish what they do because of the contributions of others. Everyone gets their time to shine, everyone gets to contribute, everyone has the opportunity to take center stage and become beloved in their own right, even if it takes some time

Isshin seemed uninteresting when she was first introduced because she was just a big faceless lug with no lines, but thanks to Fuuko, Isshin was dragged out of her shell and showed not only what she was capable of, but who she was and how she could grow and change, something that it seems Juiz just wasn’t capable of for whatever reason (that’s something I may go into eventually, but not here). Fuuko has now done the exact same thing with Sean, taking another character I was simply not interested in and made them an instant favorite

I also just really love the symbolism of “take another look at yourself,” and “I tried to turn a blind eye to them.” Unseen’s activation is closing one’s eyes, removing one’s own ability to see so that others cannot see them: Sean wasn’t just hiding from others, he was hiding from himself and refusing to see anyone else. For all his efforts to stand out and be someone important, all he ever managed to do was isolate himself further and further, preventing him from learning the true extent of his ability

As Sean said, he can only make things he views as essential to him invisible; previously we thought it was limited to “things he owned,” but now we see that he can view people as essential as well, going so far as to refer to Fuuko as one of his blood brothers. What’s really fun is that with the ability to turn a teammate invisible, he can now rely on their eyesight to navigate, eliminating his original weakness through the evolution of his ability rather than by finding a shortcut like he did last time. Instead of obsessively trying to surpass his cohorts, he now relies on the support of his friends so that he can in turn support them!

It’s such a perfect evolution for Sean’s character, and as usual, better than I ever dared to hope for! Tozuka always finds a way to surpass my expectations while still giving me pretty much exactly what I asked for. It makes for such a satisfying experience for me in a way that I don’t think any other series has ever done. Medaka Box never even gave me what I asked for this consistently! No wonder Undead Unluck so easily became a favorite on par with Medaka Box for me...

I suppose next week will be the falling action for the Creed battle and will lead into his recruitment, which I suspect will lead to him being an ally for the upcoming recruitment of Billy. I thought it was going to be the other way around, recruiting Billy to overcome Creed, but this definitely makes more sense: Billy was the leader of Under, so he should be the final boss for the Buroja conflict, possibly even finding Disc first. I wonder how exactly the fight with Billy will go...will everyone view him as an enemy except Fuuko, inadvertently giving him a ton of powers all at once? Will Tella master Untell at the perfect moment and protect Billy from the Union? Whatever happens, it’s not going to be an easy fight for the Union, and we’re definitely going to get a lot of interesting insight into his mentality and his past

As always, I’m super excited for next week’s chapter, I just can’t wait!!!

Back to what I said at the beginning of this post, I think I did a good job avoiding simply summarizing the chapter, but man it ended up being just as wordy anyway! I definitely had a lot more fun doing it this way since I feel like I got to express my actual thoughts a lot better than usual, but what do you think? Did you prefer having a recap of the events so you could better understand what actually happened, or do you feel you understand the story itself well enough and appreciate having a deeper dive into the themes instead? Let me know!

[mintys-corner]

Continuing on one of my previous posts talking about what the Bullworth staff would be like when they were younger and what sort of cliques do they'd fit into

ik I didn't really say much about Galloway, and there might be more to say about him, but I'm unsure what. Tried writing some stuff for Edna and Mr Hattrick, but there wasn't much to say about them, so might just turn it into another follow-up post instead

Mr Galloway

Galloway would have definitely been a nerd. No questions asked. He'd constantly reference literature and maybe watch stage adaptations of plays performed by the drama club. He might've tried to write a novel at some point. Even though he says his alcoholism was a response to the stress Mr Hattrick placed him under, I feel like Galloway had his first drink at a rather young age ,like when he was 15 or younger, which he developed an addiction to in his adult life.

Ms. Philips

Ms. Philips, growing up, always had an interest in art. If there ever was an 'art kids' clique, she'd definitely be a member. She might’ve dabbled in sculptures, film-making etc, maybe even experimental performance art by helping out with her friends’ projects, whether it were directed related to painting or not, like giving input on colour palettes, helping paint backdrops for the sets of plays, acting in a minor role in a friend’s film, and generally offering moral support. I get the feeling that when she was younger, her artistic expression was a lot 'weirder' and less focused? the only art piece we see her make is the banana, and I feel like her art when she was younger was 'weirder', to the extent that if she wasn't as pretty, the rest of the students at her school would've thought of her as weird. 

Alternatively, if there wasn't a clique of like-minded artists, she could have rejected the clique system at her school entirely, choosing instead to remain a non-clique. Although dialogue throughout the game suggests that she's physically desired by a lot of people, for some reason I like picturing her as being kind of like Beatrice or Zoe when she was younger? like, although she's attractive, she's socially outcasted by most of the student body because of her unapologetic strangeness. One of the quotes 'I keep hoping that the kids will rebel against conformity but it never lasts' does imply that she does view herself as non-conformist, which might be partly why she's more willing to give Jimmy a chance, despite the rest of the staff seeming either apathetic towards him or actively dislike him. idk but I like picturing Ms. Philips has having a concealed 'troubled' side or that her emotional maturity haven arisen by previously overcoming personal issues.

Expanding on the idea that she experienced social exclusion and ostracization because of her strangeness, it's possible that it led her to intentionally doubling down on her 'weirdness' to purposefully further distance herself, in order to feel a sense of control in the situation, so she could feel like her isolation was a personal decision and not an external circumstance forced upon her, forming her identity as 'an outsider' and likely taking pride in it. To her more juvenile mind, she might've taken it as a sign that she was a 'true artist' ,which might be an aspect of herself that she still relates to, to an extent, as she says 'it's important for the artist to position herself as autonomous, outside critique' and 'art is about being an artist, not creating art objects'

However, her doubling down likely just ended up being a protective mask, even if it was just an exaggerated version of herself, ultimately reached a point where she craved to be authentic and vulnerable. So I'm guessing after graduating from highschool, she mellowed out a lot, but her experiences may still have lingering on her psyche. I think I was kind of reaching with this one but idk

[whentranslatorscry]

Hitagi Honeymoon

014

The Fox's Wedding.

It seems to refer to what is also called a sunshower—when rain falls while the sun is shining. While the sky over Nasu Highlands was cloudy tonight and so wouldn't exactly fit this definition, the feeling of "something being off" was similar to the Fox’s Wedding, considering the clear weather during the day.

It was as if we had been cast down from a sky-reaching, delightful honeymoon to the ground below. Maybe this was also what prompted the thought of rain—the weather forecast had been entirely off, and apparently even Hachikuji's prayer hadn't reached this mountain.

Mountain weather was fickle, much like the hearts of people—or it could be more accurately described as utterly shallow.

Shallow and thin.

Thin and weak.

I couldn't believe me. It was such a huge blunder that it made me want to hang myself.

I had called it Fox’s Wedding, but now I felt as though I were being doused in cold water by a nine-tailed fox, reminding me to cool my head.—Thanks to Shinobu, anyway, the story of the Killing Stone had become a minor concern, but now our honeymoon was also ruined.

The one saving grace was that I, who hadn't given any thought to this point, hadn't tried to surprise Hitagi with my thoughtless planning or casually proposed adoption in the car—at least in that sense, I hadn't made any mistakes, and there was no way to express my gratitude to Oikura and Kanbaru.

As for Oikura, fundamentally, she would reject all of my proposals, and she wasn't even aware of Shinobu's existence as of now, so it wasn't that she knew the outcome and stopped the surprise… Still, my attitude towards her was always one of gratitude.

It's common to seek advice from someone when you want their support, but when I wanted to be challenged, I would turn to Oikura for advice... well, not really.

Imagine if, due to some bizarre twist of fate, I had brought up the suggestion of adoption—that would have forced the indomitable Hitagi into a most unexpected decision. She's always possessed an astonishingly speedy knack for making choices and decisively seeing them through since high school, and now, as she thrives in the fast-paced world of trading, her alacrity might have only grown stronger.

It could have possibly led to a swift divorce.

Naturally, an enthusiastic agreement could have been a possibility as well… Regardless, I never intended to resolve her complex issues— and possibly even trauma— surrounding motherhood by having her adopt Shinobu.

Purely a moment of childish whimsy, the idea that we could all live happily together, despite the radical difference between accepting the existence of a vampire and becoming family with one.

This realization had eluded me.

Driven by guilt at having potentially erased her family name by adopting the modern practice of a surname-sharing couple, I had donned the role of a progressive groom. I arrogantly clung onto the pride of being a man whose values reflected today's norms, a man who respected police regulations and moral obligations on the international stage, who knew he could no longer carry on brawling and fooling around with his sisters, a man who kept the company of adult friends who share a staunch dislike for the immature tastes of fifth-grade girls.

However, at the crux of it all, I was still Araragi Koyomi, a relic of the bygone Heisei era.

I tolerated the eating of people.

So, I tolerated murder.

It's an antiquated mindset reminiscent of a nefarious villain who, without any explanation whatsoever, becomes a comrade-in-arms by the next season.

“……”

But that doesn’t mean it’s right to let Shinobu literally live a life in the sun, either. I just couldn’t accept that.

A crime is a crime, whether it's committed by a beautiful woman or a cute little girl, it should never be forgiven. They should be punished for life, and should never become happy, let alone join the ranks of our allies. To consider their families and clans guilty and deserving of punishment as well might seem rather old-fashioned in terms of a worldview, don't you think?

Yes, I admit that I am defending Shinobu.

I am indeed defending her.

It may sound nice to say that I am defending a powerless vampire, but in criminal law terms, this is tantamount to concealing a criminal, tampering with evidence, and can be considered complicity if Shinobu were to accidentally destroy the world—in a parallel universe, that is.

I might even become a principal offender.

After all, if a pet bites someone, it's the owner's responsibility.

If anything, I was in a position where I could issue forceful commands to Shinobu, and there's no knowing when I might cross the line of the human world's rules—who's to say I won't resort to underhanded tactics when things don't go my way, or when I get frustrated with the world, or when I just want to cheat the system? What guarantee is there that I won't bulldoze my way through such situations?

In high school, I did that… I took advantage of Shinobu's immortality and, eventually, was sliced to pieces by Gaen-san as a repercussion.

Gaen-san, who had accumulated such countless experiences, assured me that Shinobu would never destroy the world again and that, despite my own limitations, I would not repeat the same mistake. Maybe that is what one might call an adult's judgment.

The all-knowing big sister.

Her junior colleague, Oshino, was probably aware of this when he bound Shinobu—a way of dealing with a sinner, neither by judgment nor by forgiveness but by giving her a second chance.

I had thought of them as a group of moratorium specialists who were not quite grown up—wandering middle-agers in Hawaiian shirts or young leaders with bold fashion—but actually, they were quite admirable after all.

Incidentally, during spring break, Hanekawa Tsubasa didn't openly state this to me but seemed to have a way of thinking like, "humans eat meat and vegetables, so it's only natural that vampires eat humans too."… Reaching that level of understanding must be the realm of enlightenment.

A second chance for sin.

No, if calling it a sin was one-sided, maybe it was more fitting to say, a second chance for the damaged.

And I believe Shinobu is doing a wonderful job with the second chance she had been given. Considering her past six hundred years, six years of confinement may seem insignificant, but, far from being biased, I can say with utmost certainty that she has been a model prisoner. Nevertheless, if we were to once again force her back into the shadows for the crime of eating a human, wouldn't that be in defiance of double jeopardy, legally speaking?

Second chance, or double jeopardy—Good grief, I’ve really become entrenched in the thinking of law enforcement.

In high school, when I felt so passionately about my freedom and being liberated from my restrictions. I could say that I couldn't forgive the unforgivable and, in fact, didn't. I could declare the wrong to be wrong and the different to be different. At most, I just couldn't admit I didn't know what I didn’t know.

With an omnipotent sense of self, I judged the irrational.

Without any authority.

Now, I can no longer face criminals without considering the circumstances, the backstories, or the environment and customs that have shaped them. It wasn’t just a side effect of aging but the product of years of professional training.

In spite of the unsympathetic and flagrant acts they commit, I still believe that even the most heinous criminals deserve at least a moment's consideration… One of the reasons I became a police officer, and a big one at that, was to capture that detestable conman with my own hands. But I was no longer driven by hatred and resentment to arrest that man.

I wanted to see justice done, to serve society.

Though apprehending the conman remains my objective, it's no longer a burning desire—I now understand that the man had his reasons, circumstances, and motives, and the situation wasn't entirely black and white. Regrettably, seen from another angle, the conman who brought about the downfall of the Senjougahara family could also be viewed as a savior, a fact that Hitagi herself couldn’t deny. 

While I may be far from comprehending predation as the natural order of things, like Hanekawa did, maybe blaming others for what they can't control through their own efforts was a warped sense of ethics—such as condemning those who eat meat as uncivilized or lamenting the consumption of vegetables as unfair. 

We enjoy a casual cup of coffee in the workplace without sparing a thought for whether it's fair-trade. We use smartphones that have rare metals built into them, mined by child laborers who have been coerced and exploited. I am not innocent, and no one can claim they are.

Ah, so that's it.

I bet Kanbaru understands these feelings far better than I do—she, who nearly drowned in love and wished to the monkey paw.

Perhaps her aspiration to become a doctor was not only borne from noble sentiments for her late friend, but also from a desire for atonement. Whether I forgive her for the thrashing I received at the hands of the monkey paw she wished to probably didn’t matter.

In comparison, I felt as though my ramblings were like the superficial wisdom of an adult, and all I was doing was defending Shinobu with every means at my disposal.

I've listed many examples, introduced numerous perspectives, and attempted to put them into context, but still, the idea of eating people seems like a line crossed.

Even when compared to fraud, violence, child labor, and murder... I may have transformed into a vampire during spring break, but not to the point of wanting to eat people. I averted that conflict at the very last moment.

I didn't even desire to drink blood.

The instinctual disgust for such an incomprehensible craving is probably insurmountable and as strong as the desire for food.

Shinobu said that she no longer desires to eat people, but how much torment did she go through to arrive at that point, then? 

In essence, I thought I understood the extent to which I'd been pushing Shinobu to restrain herself, but I had absolutely no clue. Despite this, I didn't bear any significant demerits and played the role of a guardian— no, more like a probation officer. 

Observing keenly with my tunnel vision.

The very idea of adopting her seems laughable at best with such a mindset. In fact, it would be nothing short of reckless to bind her under the Araragi name. How could I have possibly thought that was a nice idea?

Ah, I see it now.

It just dawned on me.

It finally became clear to me why the specialist Oshino Meme had bound the nameless Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade with his own name.

If it was all about making me, the very culprit who had allowed her to survive as a vampire, take responsibility for my actions, Oshino could have bound the aberration using my name since then. 

Considering I would eventually have no choice but to use my shadow as a coffin, that would have made much more sense. However, it was in fact the complete opposite.

It was precisely because he was an outsider.

Only a third party could have bound the King of Aberrations.

Sure, binding her with my name might have made the seal more robust, but when the key to the lock lies within the family, the seal is rendered useless.

It's similar to the sense that an alibi from a family member cannot be trusted. If I were to put it in medical terms, like Kanbaru did, it would be akin to the rule that doctors can't perform surgery on their relatives.

It goes without saying that police officers are also not allowed to investigate cases involving their own family.

If we were to become family as a result of this bond, the situation would become even more complicated. As a professional and a third party who was neither a relative nor a parent nor a child, Oshino, who was wandering somewhere unknown to me, was still able to keep her in check.

The significance of changing her name was immense.

Uncannily so.

It was precisely because she was now Oshino Shinobu, not Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade, that I found myself willing to forgive her. Despite my words claiming otherwise, my actions betrayed the truth that I did.

Had her appearance changed without the name, maybe I could not have conveniently justified my feelings… If I really think about it, it seems everything was dancing in the palm of his hand.

Even after eighteen years—or rather, six.

To this day, I remain unable to surpass the machinations of Oshino Meme. I'm certain that even my current state, holding my head in my hands at a free stop in the Nasu Highlands Killing Stone site on my honeymoon, had been foreseen by the man in a Hawaiian shirt ever since spring break.

And the rain showed no signs of letting up.

Prev Chapter | Next Chapter

[looniecartooni]

Been getting back into Little Shop of Horrors lately. Although- I just saw the 1960 original movie and I’ve gotta say...

I kind of feel like the play did Audrey dirty. I mean- I can understand trying to make her more of a prominent character and why certain parts of the movie were switched around for the stage play (Seymour’s mom was a weird character. She was a little funny in her own right, but really felt out of place). Audrey did lack a bit of character and personality aside from being a sweet girl, but she at least had a bit of standards.

In the movie, she was weirded out by Seymour’s mom’s weird food items and didn’t like when “Seymour” started acting strange and demanding all of a sudden. Poor Audrey in the stage play gets abused by the sadistic dentist who had a rather minor role in the movie, but seriously got dialed up in the musical. And when confronted with the idea that she was dying- she was seriously way too willing to be sacrificed to the thing that tried to kill her and many others while in the movie, she well... lives.

I can understand wanting to give her more of a personality and more of a role to relate and sympathize with so that Seymour gets the girl in the end (which happens in only the 1988 movie version for sequel purposes and because the 1988 test audience didn’t like the dark ending clashing with the film’s rather cartoony silly vibe). But still- Audrey feels robbed of being at least having slightly more standards.

And there was one scene where she was seemingly on a date with Mushnik (which felt out of place too so I can kind of see why that was switched out) while the dentist and her are never seen together. I can get trying to make skid row seem like a much more awful place than the movie made it and giving the dentist a bigger role to where is death almost seems to be rooted for, but making him Audrey’s abusive boyfriend instead of being someone like Mushnik who almost left without paying the check... well it makes sense for theater since its dramatic and again makes Seymour feel like he’s the hero, but then it also makes Audrey suffer in more ways than one. 

I’m not saying she needed to be like a hero with no man’s help or entirely a lousy character for being a woeful girl that just dreams of a better life outside of her awful town and abusive relationship. I’m just saying compared to the source material, she feels a bit reduced from what she was before. And in turn, in the musical it makes Seymour almost feel like a “nice guy” who is clearly the better option Audrey wants- duh! Seymour's given lines like “I don’t like that guy, Mr. Mushnik. Especially how he treats Audrey. She deserves a prince” and “Wipe off your make up, let me see your clean face”. And then in turn Audrey basically says, “Oh sure, I’ll die in a plant for you if it means you’ll continue living good. Even if you did kill my ex boyfriend and our ex-boss.” 1960 Audrey at least was kind of willing to ask, “Why are you acting this way, Seymour? I don’t get what’s come over you. At least sort it out before you go out with me again.”

Now granted- the 1960 film, the musical, and the 1988 adaptation are all extremely good with a couple questionable things here and there for good reason and a lot of funny jokes. Each has their own unique way of telling their story and they tell it well. The musical was aiming to tell a Faust like story in a time when female love interests usually were displayed in a certain way so that the main male love interest can kind of be seen as the better option. And obviously on the stage, it needs to be dramatic. 1960 Audrey wasn’t a feminist icon or anything and there wasn’t a lot to her. The only thing we really knew she wanted was Seymour because he was sweet and Seymour did things like name a plant after her. I’m not even sure why Mushnik and Audrey went out on a fancy dinner together- neither really expressed interest in one another aside from maybe extending Mushnik’s flower business. But Audrey seemed less... ditzy in the 1960′s version which isn’t always common for 1960′s movies and Seymour wasn’t really given motives to kill (which did make kind of silly things happen that were understandably turned around- like Seymour getting hypnotized by Audrey Jr. and pursued by a seriously persistent hooker).

Well- long essay short, I can see why certain parts of the 1960 version was changed around for the play, but that in turn may’ve made Audrey’s character feel robbed of what standards she had. But the play version also shows a girl so broke down by the abuse she went through that she thinks in her perhaps dying moments, sacrificing herself to her new love interest means she’s giving him and herself serenity. Just a part of me wishes that there was at least able to be a blend between the original Audrey and the musical Audrey so she’d at least seem slightly less passive.

I’m also not saying that Seymour was a hero by any means either. The decision to make Audrey II play on his desires makes for a slightly more interesting take than a hungry plant that eats bodies Seymour accidentally killed. Audrey was one of his greatest desires and him feeling like he was somehow just in his attempt to kill Orin (rather than somehow accidently stab him in a silly duel- the 1960 movie relied heavily on comedy more than deep motives like the musical). But in making Audrey more damsel-in-distress kind of, we also end up getting a more pick me/ nice guy Seymour rather than the 1960 sorta clueless Seymour that just really likes Audrey and that Audrey supported. Of course, Seymour needs sympathy as well and at least some form of seemingly noble intentions when being the protagonist that wants the girl, but having Audrey being too willing to die for him when movie Audrey is willing to walk out on him (granted a little unfairly because it was Audrey Jr. who kept being “weird”) and asking he’d get his act together while asking why he won’t explain himself at least gave her at least some form of grit in the situation.

Perhaps it only makes sense in context of the movie rather than the play, but I stand my ground... Audrey I deserved better.

[veilchenjaeger]

In the time it took me to recover from reading The Locked Tomb, I finally watched the second season of Good Omens (had to wait for my parents to be able to watch it with me), and I want to do a quick post of my first impressions bc I like writing these. (No, I'm not over The Locked Tomb enough to write one for that yet. Maybe soon. Or maybe for Alecto.)

The short version is that I loved it, especially the ending. Season 1 is probably one of my favourite shows ever made; it's so obvious how much love and care went into every second of it, and I'm still impressed by how it manages to both be accurate to the book and modernise and alter the story a little to fit a TV show made decades after the book came out. The pacing, the amount of creativity and very different characters it introduces, the Cold War themes that somehow still work in the 2018 version, all the stuff that just keeps happening - it's just very good. Season 2 is very different from that, regarding the pacing especially. There's a lot less going on. Its focus is a lot more narrow. It's a lot slower, and a lot of it feels like filler, up until the last two episodes re-introduce the Shit Is Happening Left And Right pacing. Ultimately, it's a bridge between the first season and the next one (fingers fucking crossed that it gets made; I'm ready to just start cannibalising Amazon executives), it very much feels like one, and I think that's what it has to be seen as. Neil Gaiman confirmed that that's what it is a long time ago. So, no, it's not as gorgeously done as season 1 - but I went into it expecting a bridge, and I did get an incredibly enjoyable and very heartbreaking bridge that I'm 100% satisfied with. I wanted to see Aziraphale and Crowley and I saw them a lot, the plot is solid, and the last episode really came in with the fucking steel chair and knocked me the fuck out. My mind is rotting in 20 different ways rn. I did not need this after Nona the Ninth.

Anyways, in case there's anyone here who's on the fence about watching season 2 (or about Good Omens!), go watch it. Be at peace. Get your heart broken. (And, like, watch Good Omens, it's so good.)

Spoilery thoughts under the cut.

Starting off with a minor intriguing thing - I was SO on the fence about Crowley and Aziraphale having met before the Fall when I first watched their first meeting, but y'know what? I like it. There really isn't anything that says that they didn't know each other already in their Eden conversation. (I think that in the book, it does read like they know each other.) And I like all the little hints we're suddenly getting at who Crowley used to be before the fall. He was a Throne or a Dominion or above??? HELLO??? If the "Crowley was Raphael" theory ends up being real, I'm gonna start walking up the walls. Anyways, it's cool, these little reminders that Crowley does know Heaven fit very well with the overall theme of criticising Heaven as an institution, and I really hope that this is all build-up for a reveal of what sauntering vaguely downwards entailed for Crowley. Aziraphale's character arc is very much a metaphor for religious trauma and being in a cult, and season 2 puts Crowley in the role of the one who got out of the cult even more explicitly than season 1 did, which... is very appropriate, considering how it all ends.

Next up, I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE that they made Gabriel/Beelzebub canon. Are you KIDDING me. I went through all five stages of grief watching this with my parents right next to me, who had never heard of this ship before and were just sitting there, happily watching things proceed while my entire goddamn brain melted. What the FUCK. The audacity to do this and make it work, at that. I didn't even ship this, ever, and I'm still losing my entire mind about it. Is that what Homestuck readers felt like when Davekat went canon? Absolutely bonkers emotion, 10/10 would experience again. How dare they make me like Gabriel, also. Anyways, it fucking worked, and that's what upsets me the most. This was a genuinely sweet, romantic little story. The thing with the fly? OOF. Adorable. Extremely romantic. I, too, would leave everything I ever knew to go to Alpha Centauri with someone who made me the first gift of my life, saved my memory and sense of self with said gift, and then called it perfect to my face. Crowley is taking notes for wooing his own angel as we speak.

And it's all a big Aziraphale-and-Crowley parallel, of course. It's so fun that there were two of those - I had a chat with my dad about that, and we took note of some very interesting things. Like, it's very obvious that Nina and Maggie are Aziraphale and Crowley's mirror, but it only really hit me afterwards that narratively speaking, Nina is Aziraphale. She gets all the Crowley traits, of course - she's the sceptic, she's the grumpy one, she even calls Maggie "angel" (Cute!!!), and Maggie with her outdated lifestyle and her nerves and her cheerfulness is obviously meant to read as an Aziraphale parallel at first glance. But Maggie is the one who's waiting. She's the one who doesn't quite dare to confess, but tries to get close to Nina nonetheless. And Nina is the one who's in a toxic relationship and who, in the end, says that she needs some more time to get over that, hoping that Maggie will still be there when she's ready. And Maggie of course will be there! Like Crowley has been there for thousands of years and presumably will still be there once Aziraphale finally gets out of the cult for good. I want to believe its foreshadowing - it's certainly a direct parallel to the heartbreak scene in the end, and I want to believe that Beelzebub and Gabriel getting their happy ending is foreshadowing as well. It does drive me slightly insane that every single bit of this season was at least part of a big narrative parallel for Aziraphale and Crowley. It was all about love. I'm sobbing. It's all about LOVE, and hasn't it always been? (And, well, it's not like Anathema and Newt and Madame Tracy and Shadwell weren't Aziraphale and Crowley as well.)

On that note: The emotion I felt when they kissed? Unparalleled. We're explicitly and fully undeniably in the queer main characters zone, bitches. I legitimately almost cried. Of course the love story was pretty much explicit in season 1 already, but in a show that is not a Queer Show(tm) from the get-go, that never was marketed as such, a kiss still means so much, even if it's a sad goodbye kiss.

And speaking of that, finally - I avoided spoilers as much as I could, but I did pick up on the general, uh, unrest in fandom regarding the ending. Like, people apparently hated it and were very vocal about it, to the point where I couldn't even avoid it when I went out of my way to not look at anything Good Omens-related. Fandom annoys me more and more by the day - this is definitely one more thing for the pile of annoyances - and I try not to let that ruin my enjoyment of things, but I was prepared to be let down by the ending. Which is very interesting, because the ending was hands down my favourite part of the season. What the FUCK, people, can we not complain about the episode where we get an onscreen kiss? Anyways, I'm SO intrigued by this ending and the story it begins to tell. Aziraphale as an archangel is a wild status quo, first of all, but mostly, I really like what they did with the characters here. Again, Aziraphale is metaphorically in a cult, and the fact that he cannot let go of the idea that Heaven is supposed to be good, that what Heaven does must ultimately be good, fits that very well imo. He's at the point where he has realised that angels make mistakes and some decisions made in Heaven are wrong, which makes him determined to change things once he's in a position of power, but he's still not out of his cult mindset yet. Being an angel is still an inherently good thing in his mind, so of course he's fucking ecstatic when he thinks that he's able to bring Crowley to Heaven. Only that Crowley is really not about to re-join the fundamentalist cult he already got out of once, thank you very much. So, yeah, this works, and it's heartbreaking. Poor Crowley deserves none of this.

(All of this is also very, very queer - there's the obvious cult metaphor, but Aziraphale is also absolutely a metaphor for internalised homophobia. He gets the opportunity to be with Crowley and be straight, metaphorically, to have their relationship be a socially accepted, good, not sinful one! There's also some of the "Your soul can be saved if you stop being a demon gay" thing in there. I want to give Aziraphale twenty hugs.)

Ultimately, "Come to Heaven with me" vs. "It could just be us" complete with a desperate, heartbreaking, overwhelming goodbye kiss broke my entire goddamn heart. I'm very glad that Neil Gaiman already promised to tell the rest of the story no matter what, even if Amazon doesn't play along. That's not something that can stay unfinished. Anyways, TL;DR: Loved it, will watch again once I know how everything ends and don't have to cry about the ending anymore. Will go look at kiss gifs now.