#like looking for patterns where they don't exist can be bad for your chances but CAN also be good!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cherlawa-panna · 7 months ago

Text

Barney Barton and his horrible (ugly) hair

I'm in the middle of finishing my meta post about Barney's reasons for leaving the circus, but I saw this ask and had to answer it immediately!

I’d never considered that Barney’s hair might change based on how he’s portrayed, but it’s honestly hilarious—and, in a way, it makes sense.

So, naturally, I’m about to rant about Barney’s hair now, lmao.

Let's start with basics. Barney most of time is shown in memories with specific color schemes, which means he doesn’t get the chance to be shown as a ginger. We can see this in Hawkeye (2003), All-New Hawkeye, and Fraction’s Hawkeye #12 issue (Issue #12 is drawn by a different artist—Francesco Francavilla, who also illustrated issue #10. His art is full of colors and I highly recommend checking out his work <3)

The only exception is in Hawkeye: Blindspot, where he has brown hair due to the brown-yellow, dull color scheme of memories:

In the other issues of Fraction's Hawkeye, Barney's hair in David Aja's art alternates between shades of brown and reddish-brown. It influenced by the color scheme and lighting.

As you pointed out, his hair isn’t entirely ginger and this is probably because from the fact that a bright ginger tone might not fit the overall aesthetic. Similarly, Natasha’s hair is depicted as red too rather than a vibrant ginger. So, this is more like an artistic choice.

To be fair, I can count on one hand the times he’s actually shown as a ginger. Which are: Avengers (1963), Solo Avengers (1987), Hawkeye: Blindspot, and New Avengers (2010).

Your observation about Barney being ginger when he's unsympathetic is right so far, because:

Avengers (1963): Barney is portrayed as a criminal involved with the mob/mafia.

Solo Avengers (1987): Barney is furious that Clint refused Jacques’ offer of money, completely disregarding the fact that Jacques nearly killed Clint. After that, he leaves Clint alone in abusive environment, because he was fed up with circus life. So he was an asshole here.

Hawkeye Blindspot: Barney returns from the dead to kill Clint (I don't need to explain more).

New Avengers (2010): Barney joins the Dark Avengers and acts like an idiot and asshole all the time.

So yes, the pattern is clear—Barney only seems to be depicted as a ginger when he’s shown in a negative light. BUT there's an exception in Dark Avengers (2012)-

- because his hair is brown.

Dark Avenger!Barney is the most stupid and the most asshole Barney that ever existed. So this pattern breaks here.

And his color change frequently, almost like if he was a heartbroken teenager girl post-breakup lol. It ranges from brown to light brown and even blonde at times.

And in #182-194 he has a pink hair.

With a brief exception in issue #186, where it reverts to brown for few panels. But after that, he consistently has pink hair, with a few exceptions where he’s randomly depicted as either ginger or blonde.

(Yes, punching Barney in Dark Avengers is a very popular thing like you can see lmao).

These constant changes happens only to him for some unknown reasons. Satana and Tigra also appear in Dark Avengers but they have ginger hair all the time. Maybe the artists doesn't care about Barney since usually nobody cares about him lmao.

So the hair color really depends only on artists whims. With the exception of Avengers (1963), because I think they made him ginger to show that he's a bastard and bad version of Clint. And, well, stereotypically gingers are bastards.

Interestingly, Barney's second appearance after Avengers (1963) is in Hawkeye (1983), where he’s showed with black hair. I’ve seen a cleaner version of this panel on the internet where his hair looks more brown, but unfortunately, I can’t find it right now.

We don't know why he's not ginger here but maybe artist didn't want to waste a red/orange ink on him? Or simply forgot about his hair color?

ANYWAY! Barney last appeared in All-New Hawkeye (2016), where he had brown hair. In fact, in both the 2015 and 2016 All-New Hawkeye, his present self is consistently shown with brown hair - regardless of lighting. After 2016, we have nothing with him.

So yeah - our ginger asshole is in fact an brunet asshole.

Conclusion:

His changes of colors are largely due to the whims of the artists, like I said before, but he's most often depicted with brown hair rather than ginger. In fact, Barney tends to have ginger hair when portrayed as an asshole (with the exception of Fraction's Hawkeye, where his characterization leans more towards a gray area than a traditional villain) and everywhere else, he has brown hair. Dark Avengers is of couse an outlier, as the artists there seemed to do whatever they wanted with his hair.

What do I personally think? Well, I once came across a Tumblr RP blog (unfortunately, I couldn't find the @ right now ;_;) that had a headcanon that Barney dyed his hair many times throughout his life, and I treat that as canon. Maybe he dyed it to avoid looking like his father and when he was in FBI he stopped (maybe because he was forced to stop in military). And later he returned to dyeing it again.

And that's it. Thank you for ask :D you can send me more if you want. I'm sorry for answering so late.

BTW despite the fact that I dislike Dark Avengers, I kinda like Barney in pink. He's a cutie pie.

#barney barton #clint barton #kinda he was just mentioned here #meta #marvel #my posts #i'm kinda too tired to check the error but well #i finally wrote something again!! yay #“my man got ungingered” i love it

27 notes · View notes

aizawashuichi · 27 days ago

Note

hi hello am i allowed to be down bad for jessica because PPLEAASE ONE CHANCE I COULD TREAT HER BETTER </////////////3 L LET ME HAVE HER <///////////3

also also is there any references you made of her because AUG i wanna draw her so bad. she's my favorite girl ever.

DUDEE AHH YES and soon we'll have enough people to have a rescue team for her like that one fbi meme AHHH

ALSO thank you for the comment!! I'll reply later in the evening but LITERALLY GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET when I first read it at 6am <333 i am so happy you are enjoying the story !!! and reading your thoughts is the best thing ever !!

AND THE FACT THAT YOU WANT TO DRAW MY SILLY OC?? WOAH. insane. but if you change you mind, just the fact that you thought about it means a lot to me. your art style is insanely good, you convey emotions so well, and i feel bad about not being able to commission you anything but broke uni student living with her parents in the middle of nowhere so no summer jobs and money :((

as for the reference, I haven't drawn one. I just have a bunch of images to help me visualise her, because 1. I still have to learn how to draw and 2. I write from her point of view and so I'm seeing what she sees. unless she is in front of a mirror, i can't see her in the scenes. I can't explain it but yes asjdhfkjsahfdkj

so here are some of her features through pictures.

Physique - inspo: uzu swirl

(they also cosplay jujutsu kaisen btw !! thought you should know)

ANYWAY. i think they are somewhat flexing in the first pictures? i am not sure but that is more or less what i think of standard Jessica to look like. i did think of giving her the "sleeper build", the one where you don't notice they are strong until they flex, but no. i want her to look strong and bigger regardless of what she does. and she's also 175cm/5'8" tall.

i also found this fanart by samanthadoodles that matches my vision in a way. don't know which character this is and the description doesn't say but wow (link)

putting it here just in case you don't have instagram:

spoiler kinda - she has scars on her arms from self-harm. she got laser treatment when she arrived in the US but she still got visible white lines running across them. she also got new scars from her work (indirectly but very intentional). she says to make the others seem less noticeable but girlie is lying.

that's also why she prefers long narrow sleeves, so they won't ride up and expose her arms, but when she is with people she trust she allows herself to breathe. like the green and very fucking expensive silk nightgown she bought with L's money (this is in chapter 3).

she wears any style as long as they cover her arms. she can also use skin colour arm sleeves if she needs to.

Face - she has a friendly face to strangers. i also imagine her to be quite pretty. redheads are always beautiful, that's the law.

she looks like the typical redhead from Ireland - so freckles everywhere, green eyes, defined features. this is not like standard but i gave her reddish eyelashes that don't seem to exist unless you look up close.

and since you give characters their unique features, there's this site that talks about irish noses lmfao i only think about this kind of stuff when i have to make a character yearn to touch and feel that body part and nobody does that to her, so give her what you wish. i trust you with her.

she's almost 26 (as far as she knows) and looks still young, helps the fact that when uv radiation reaches level 3, she has to wear sunscreen so she doesn't burn alive. she should start at 2 but… hmm there's a certain pattern there.

Hair - anne of green gables kind of red (your sketches are in black and white so i don't think this is matters lmao). mostly straight. a bit wavy at the ends. she still has to learn how to properly take care of it. but this is lore. has nothing to do with what you asked lmfao. she also has bangs.

i don't know if there is anything else that could be relevant lmao BUT anyway. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE ENTHUSIASM !!! SCREAMING AHHHHHHH

#okay this kinda helped me to have a better picture of her in my mind lmao #anyway i am floored. this is insane. i keep giggling like an idiot #as i said i am sorry for not being able to commission you anything :((((( one day i hope to being able to.#wildernezz #d for detective #inbox

11 notes · View notes

fleet-of-fiction · 1 year ago

Text

Jake Kiszka // Female Narrator

Part Five

After a blinding light eradicates mankind, you're left in a desolate and empty world. A year of solitude eliminates all belief that anyone else was left behind. Until a chance encounter on the side of the road. Jake is injured and fighting for his life, but his presence brings a renewed sense of hope. Touch starved and lonely, you need him. And undoubtedly, he needs you too.

"It would be the last man on earth that would end up being mine..."

Explicit sexual content Sex (penetrative & oral) /Foreplay /Blood / Injury / Hunting. / Intense emotions / Death.

Day 469 ~ Jake

The house sat at the top of a steep incline, up a winding driveway that had begun to be reclaimed by nature. Cracks in the cement where little shrubs had started to grow and leaves that were never blown away. Neglected and abandoned.

It reminded me a little of Josh's house. With pristine edges and white walls, coveted by obscure works of art. Book shelves that were gathering dust and kitchen utensils left out on the surfaces as if the owners had just stepped out of the room.

Amelia seemed to know where she was going. "I found this place a couple of months after I moved into Grandma's cabin."

She led me down a narrow corridor, flanked by a bank of full length windows overlooking a sweeping back yard that was shrouded by trees. Photo's of the family who once lived there sitting on the wall opposite, happy faces forever immortalised for no one else to ever see.

"I hit every house within a 10 mile radius. Looking for supplies, anything that I could use. Food, toiletries. And I was about to leave when I noticed this..."

She stopped at the end of the corridor, leaning against a nondescript door. Her face sincere as she ran hands up my arms, coming to rest around my shoulders.

"We have to take whatever joy we can find in this world." She said, "And if we're lucky, we'll take back some of the joys we had before."

I'd known nothing but joy since I'd almost died. There wasn't a single moment I'd had with her that hadn't made me question whether I would take any of it back to have the world filled with every other person I'd ever loved again.

It was something I'd wrestled with. The notion that I could happily exist in a world I'd come to hate simply because she was in it with me. I was thinking about Josh again when she opened the door, simply because I'd been reminded of him. And the certainty within which I knew I wouldn't take any of it back, even if it meant having him back, drew a conflict within the likes of which I'd never known before.

But it was all for nothing. As I stepped into the room she'd been eager to show me, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I loved her enough to never want the old world back.

"Amelia..." I gasped. "What in the...fuck."

Mounted on an oak panelled wall were an array of vintage guitars. A brazilian board 1959 Gibson Les Paul. Shining in the last rays of the afternoon sun. I reached out and touched it, trembling as my fingers remembered what it felt like to know strings. A custom Fender strat in dark red with a black mottled pattern that looked like spilled paint if you looked too closely. A plain red stratocaster and an acoustic Martin dreadnought with a mahogany neck.

"I know that you said you didn't play anymore. Not without your brothers. But I think you should play again. For them. To them. And maybe somehow, I don't know how insane it might be, but maybe they'll hear you. Wherever they are..."

She was nervous. Biting her lip and wringing her hands in the sleeves of her sweater. Anticipating that I'd reject the sweetness of her idea, of this perfect gift.

"You brought me here because you knew that I would love it, didn't you?" I asked, although it wasn't really a question.

"Is that so bad?" She replied, opening her arms as if I would somehow be mad at her.

The room was decked out with framed vinyls. Some were so old I'd never seen them before. There were a few more guitars leaned up against the opposite wall and a beaten up drum kit in the window. It looked as if it had been played to death, with the cymbals hanging off and the kick drum looked as if one more pound on it would tear it right in half.

"It's not bad at all, why would you think that?" I pulled her into me, her little body slotting into my embrace like it had always meant to be there. "Just because I said I didn't play anymore doesn't mean I wouldn't love this."

She rested her head against my shoulder. Let me sway her back and forth a little. Everything was so eerily quiet. Up here the wind howled a little more than it did around the cabin. It sounded like ghosts were singing to us, begging me to pick up one of those fine old ladies.

"Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I just wanted to hear you for myself." She looked up at me, resting her lips on my jawline.

"Plenty have paid for the privilege." I replied, "What will you pay me for a private show?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I saved your life. This is you paying me, sweet thing."

She laughed and buried her face into my neck, kissing me there and holding me tight around my waist. Familiar and wholesome. Like she hadn't tried to push me away at all in the beginning.

She was the most incredible woman I had ever known. Her fears were like shadows now, she had this uncanny ability to turn them into her most beloved passions. Once she had been afraid to love me. And now, the ways in which she loved me were making me feel unworthy of it.

"Sometimes I don't think you realise how much you saved me." I told her, casting my eye on the acoustic. "Not just from that car wreck. But from a life of misery."

Of course I would play for her. If not her, then nobody. She made herself comfortable on a shaggy looking bean bag, folding herself into it and resting her head against her curled fist as she regarded me. I pulled the mahogany acoustic down from the wall, not wanting to tend to wires and amps just yet.

I considered coming up with something on the fly, but it had been so long since I had tinkered with strings that my mind began to wander so far away I couldn't make them work. I strummed a little, hearing the notes play out and something weird happened. I thought I'd never feel this ever again, this visceral wave that washed over me to the point of almost growing hard as I felt the back of the guitar against my groin.

Her eyes widened. She wasn't prepared.

"How does it make you feel, to have an audience again?" She asked softly, seductively.

The strings needed tuning a little. I turned the keys at the top of the neck, plucking out chords until they sounded pitch perfect.

"Sexy." I replied, "I always felt sexy whenever I went out on stage. They made me feel sexy. Kinda the same way you are now. Knowing they want to fuck you every time you play for them."

I didn't realise how much I missed the adrenaline. The feral cries of a crowd. Their voices rising in unison. Lights and screaming and the feeling that I might ascend with their love. I'd been someone in my life before. I'd known what it felt like to open my eyes and know I was doing something I loved completely. I hadn't felt like this in what felt like a life time.

"This is who you are, Jake." She uttered, sliding her hand down the curve of her hips. "You can't run from who you are forever."

I felt as if I didn't deserve her. For all she had done for me, for how incredible she was. There was no crowd that could ever compare to the way I felt in that moment playing for her.

"I can't sing our songs like Josh could." I confessed, "I'd be a poor imitation. But I'll try."

I couldn't hold the same power with my voice that my brother could. The part of me that had promised never to play again still sat in the shadows whispering to me that it would never be the same. But louder than that was Amelia's face watching me strum out the first chords of a song that meant everything to me.

"What's it called?" She asked.

Day 469 ~ Amelia

I knew he would love it. I'd all but forgotten about the little music room at the back of the big house on the corner of the road that led into Lafayette. It had meant nothing to me the first time I'd ventured in there. There was nothing in there that was of any use to me.

But today, it was like seeing the sun peek out from a grey cloud. I'd gone from doing everything in my power to ensure that he was never necessary to me, to doing everything in my power just to see him smile.

"It's called Broken Bells." He replied, "Josh used to say that it was about seeing that when things sometimes feel broken most of the time they're just lessons sent to help us see that everything will be alright in the end. I really wish he could be here to see that he was so fucking right."

What would I have done if he hadn't felt the same? I could feel myself dying a little inside at the melancholy way he played. His face expressing his grief. He played so hauntingly beautifully, in a way I hadn't really been prepared for. He closed his eyes and didn't even need to look at the way his fingers moved across the strings. He knew them, and they responded to him so lovingly. Almost as if they were an entity all of their own, able to come when he called.

If he hadn't have loved me in return I'd have been driven mad by it. Every rational bone in my body broken if I'd been forced to live beside him unrequited. I began to understand how lucky and fortunate I was as he began to sing. That he and I were somehow fated. And it wasn't just a coincidence that he was driving past me that day. He was creation and I was necessity. He'd made music for a world that needed to hear it and I'd treated them when they were sick. And for some unfathomable reason, we'd been left behind to exist together in this empty world.

But empty didn't have to mean broken. There was nothing but love in the world again. Nothing but this painful song that made tears spill from my eyes as I watched him and listened. What if this song was the only one being played? And the only one being listened to? I had hope that if anyone else had been left behind that they had somehow managed to find each other and find love within it.

"That was...beautiful." I sobbed, laughing at myself for crying at it.

He put down the guitar and came to me. Launching himself into the bean bag, the scrunchy sound of tiny styrofoam balls moving around as he wiggled into the space beside me.

"It always got an emotional reaction whenever we played it." He sighed, trailing soft palms down the side of my face. "It felt like people resonated with our songs for all different kinds of reasons. But with Broken Bells it always felt we were all on the same page. All of us feeling the same thing at the same time."

How could I have ever doubted him? This beautiful man with his beautiful music?

"I was just thinking, while you were playing it, that I hoped that somewhere out there that other people were listening to songs for the first time. That they'd found each other and found love, even in a world seemingly broken." I countered, feeling the heat of that familiar rush when I knew he was about to make love to me.

"If they aren't, then we have to love for all of those who can't." He said, trailing kisses down my jaw line.

Sometimes it felt silly. The things we said to each other. Things in the dead of night. In the cold light of day. In the middle of the afternoon when he was at his most sleepy, when he would linger in the kitchen looking to score a bowl of stew or soup before curling up on the couch with a book before he would fall asleep.

Even now, I could feel him nuzzle in. Our bodies entwined on the bean bag lazily tracing his thumb over my nipple as he sucked the flesh on my neck into perfect little shapes of his mouth.

"So, you really do like it?" I checked, just wanting to hear him say it one more time.

"Oh, yeah." He yawned, "That Les Paul is coming home with us for sure. And maybe I'll come back for the Strat, too."

I was wearing the black yoga pants I saved for hiking. The ones that I wore to collect fire wood. To muck out the horses and clear out the chicken coop. I never felt particularly sexy in them, or desirable. It felt almost like we'd become accustomed to seeing each other in our most desolate states.

But when he slipped them down around the curve of my ass and hitched me around so I was facing away from him, I was glad that I'd worn them. The way he pressed his hard on into my back and continued to roll my nipple around between his fingers as he breathed harder into my ear was the blessing I'd needed to know that I'd done the right thing.

We were both tired from the hike. Our bodies crying out for rest. The afternoon sun began to slip away, making room for cloud and darkness. I was acutely aware that there was no power in this house. No electricity. No running water. No heat. It was in my mind to interrupt his ministrations with these facts, but as his hand slipped below, coming up into my entrance from behind, I lost all manner of speech.

"You gonna let me thank you properly?" He asked, slaking two fingers inside me slowly. "Be my good girl and let me show you how much I love you?"

I was in no mood to protest. I watched the light outside fade as he ran stripes up my slit and into my clit. Whispering obscenities and freeing himself one handedly as he played with me. Letting his cock rest between his stomach and the curve of my ass, leaking a little against our flesh.

"Can you feel it?" He breathed, "How much I love you?"

It was all I could feel. There was no house. No darkness. No eerie silence as the wind rushed through the trees. Howling like there was someone out there to hear it. Only Jakes breath, the bean bag as it shuffled beneath us, and the sound of my untamed scream as he penetrated me.

He didn't try to quieten me. Buffeting my wild moans with deep thrusts that came like chasms to break me in half. Each time he bottomed out, he savoured it. Taking the briefest of moments to feel me clenched around him before pulling back slowly. The need to fuck and the need to sleep battling it out for supremacy.

"Pretty fucking grateful, aren't you?" I replied, leaning my head back into his waiting mouth.

When he was like this, all in need and eager to satisfy any way that he could, I often thought back to how it had been that first time. On the ground in the mud, knees caked in it and the earth beating in time with us. And how in the time since, we'd leisurely made love on the kitchen floor some mornings. In the shower, just stroking each other to pass the time. Him, on top of me, in the bed we now shared. And me, arms around the trunk of a tree whilst he fucked me from behind out in the woods even though it was still a little cold out there.

"For this pussy? Always." He purred into my ear, like he was serenading me.

I knew that I'd never tire of it. The way he felt inside me. The way he fit so perfectly. I never felt so full, like something had been made just for me. He wasn't just rhythm and blues, he was equipped to make me quiver with the mere mention that he might take me right there and then.

I'd lament it later on. How all my lovers before him had been lacking. How I'd swiped left and right, attended blind dates and settled when I shouldn't have. For men that couldn't make me cum or men who couldn't text me back.

"Mmmmm..." I murmured softly, arching against his quickening pace. "It would be the last man on earth that would end up being mine..."

The gentle laughter that expelled from his mouth against the shell of my ear was like summer rain. Teasing my senses, touch taste and scent. His hair was sweat drenched at his temples, as it often was when he fucked me, and I could taste the salt of it in his kiss.

"She speaks so highly of me." He breathed, "Now let her know no other man will ever have her..."

He would claim me. Over and over again. Even when there was no other to counter his claim. I let his hand wrap around my throat, edging me to the distance it would take to push me over the edge of the world. Thrusting into me so hard my entire body shook. I knew the bean bag had ripped at some point, sending the tiny little white foam balls scattered across the room. But I didn't care.

I'd keep finding them in strange places for weeks afterwards. As he rolled me onto the floor and continued to pound me, vicious and unrelenting. He'd never silenced my mewling cries before, content to let them ring out into the ether.

But not this time. It was like his gratitude couldn't be satisfied until he could hear the one sound he desired. His body raged on top of mine, our clothes half on and half off. His sweaty palm came to rest over my open mouth. Muffling my cries to a dull humm. His eyes silently pleading with me to let them die. And to just listen...

"Hush." He encouraged, resting his mouth against the back of his hand as he continued.

There it was. Against the backdrop of the breeze outside. The sound of how wet I was. His cock hitting my satiated pussy. Moist flesh against moist flesh. The most inconceivable feeling washed over me. This man, the only man that ever was, wanted to silence my mouth only to better hear the sound of my pussy being fucked.

And the drop of his eyelids as he listened had me in another state of being. Half closed and fucked with desire for the way it slipped in and out, wet and completely his.

"Thankyou, my love." He whispered, before he allowed himself to cum.

I was never certain if it was for the music, or the way I let him fuck me. I didn't really care. I let my own orgasm rise moments later, the two of us breathless and spent on the gutted belly of that old bean bag.

Day 470 ~ Amelia

We hunkered down for the night. Choosing to make our way back at first light, gathering all the blankets we could find and sleeping on the couches that were, quite simply, more luxurious than any couch we could have gotten in the cabin.

Jake took the one opposite me, falling asleep first. His gentle snores lulling me into my own dreams. It felt like no time had passed at all before my eyes sprang open, the red of morning creeping in.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched. Taking a moment to recall where I was. This place was eerie, even in daylight. And I wished that there were something, anything...that would remind me that people had once lived here. The ticking of a clock, perhaps. Or the grass being cut outside. I could have laid there a little longer, still tired and drowsy, but I was eager to be gone.

I kicked off the blankets and expected Jake to be laying there, ever the one to wake up last, but my heart fell into my stomach at the sight of the empty couch. Blankets still left precisely where he had kicked them off.

"Jake?!" I called, expecting his voice to filter down the hall from the music room.

Silence.

"Jake?!" I called again, pulling on my pants and shoes as I made my way through the house.

I expected to find him gathering up all the instruments he wanted to take. Agonising over which ones to take now and which ones to come back for. But there was nothing but the aftermath of what we'd done. And all the guitars were accounted for.

"Jake, this isn't funny." I cried, checking behind the curtains like a child playing hide and seek. "Jake, I'm being serious now!!!"

Panic began to rise in my chest. My heart soaring, making me dizzy as I flew through the house. Room after room coming up empty.

"Jake!!!" I screamed, running now. "Jake please!!!"

Had I ever given myself permission to imagine this, I would have driven myself mad. That one day he would simply vanish, like everyone else had, and truly I would have walked to my death in that moment. I had no desire to live in a world void of the man I loved.

"JACOB!!!" My voice broke on his name as I fell out of the door and into the back yard. "PLEASE!!!!"

I fell to my knees on gravel. Crying. Racking sobs expelled from me as I took fists full of tiny pebbles that cut into my flesh as I squeezed. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight, all the horror of him disappearing coursing through my veins as tears spilled down my flushed cheeks.

"Jake, I can't do this...you have to come back..." I begged, broken and beyond redemption.

In a matter of moments I'd gone from waking up, to screaming on my knees. I'd have thought it a nightmare had I not already endured one. The reality of this feeling was one I knew. Only this time, intensified by a love that had known no bounds. I could live in an empty world before I'd ever known him.

Not anymore.

To be Continued...

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon @vikingisthenewsexy @char289

#greta van fleet #jake kiszka #fanfic #greta van fleet fan fiction #gvf #gvf fanfiction #fanfiction #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka x reader

80 notes · View notes

basedkikuenjoyer · 8 months ago

Note

Uh can i ask something...?

I'm confused, because I can't understand...if Kiku after all is transwoman, why Oda calls her a man in concept art? Why Oden refer to Kiku and Izo not as siblings but as brothers? Why Izo himself calls Kiku brother and not sister? Why Kiku eventually uses male pronouns (sessha) when talking? Why Kiku calles herself samurai if she should be onna-bugeisha (female samurai)? (Does it has to do with when they reveal truth about her she says "sorry, i am samurai") I mean... Why misgendering yourself? I heard that Jap language has problems with gender differences, but it should not be that bad..? If all of it, why Kiku is transwoman then? The only thing that i actually saw is that her words about woman at heart actually being used by transwomen in japan, but outside of it seems like Kiku is just a example of trap pr femboy in japanese media as it often goes... I guess, as a professional, you may help understand what does it even mean and how does it work? Does that mean Kiku is a man? I don't get it...

Hey guys look, I'm a professional Kiku expert. I wanna put that on my next resume. I'm going to assume this is in good faith and not just a troll, but I'm also not exactly gonna sit here and debate this either. So...realistically what it comes down to for me is the things the character says about herself vs. people who don't know. Like...Oden in the diary. He'd just met a 1yo, makes sense to me Izo probably did all the talking. Makes sense to me Kiku couldn't express that yet. A big part of her story is subtle about it but coming to terms with it and her family. Same with Izo in a noncanon scene, he just came back. Remember, my read is there was always something there. Izo/Kin maybe were stern about it when you were young, Toki being around caused her to be progressively more outright about it, the month with Tsuru gave you your first real chance at being "out" for lack of a better word. And Oden's whole flaw in general would also mean he's just oblivious to any inner conflict.

As for the vivre card calling her male with a unique extra bit about the woman at heart line...that's where Japanese gets tricky. There's no real distinction like we might casually say "physically male" here. Same with the sessha pronoun. It might be gendered to a degree but it isn't exclusive like in English. Do you think Big Mom is transmasc? Brook genderfluid? No, but they do kinda use pronouns like that for social reasons. To denote authority and politeness respectively. Likewise while concepts like Onnamusha exist in Japanese history...we don't see it elsewhere in Wano. I'd also add you're being a little selective. Adding the "O-" prefix to your name not to mention speech patterns that don't always translate and honestly even being so demure and quiet about yourself are all strongly coded too.

But that "woman at heart" line? There's really no ambiguity there. It isn't something a Japanese trans woman might say, it's as exclusive and cliche as if an English speaker said "Ehhh...woman trapped in a man's body" in that scene. Even moreso because no one really uses that English phrase much anymore. Not to mention we do have places where Kiku calls herself a woman or passes up a chance to correct someone who says as much. Same with your ancillary stuff like SBS answers, etc. Which to me is a hallmark of your trap/femboy characters. It's a cliche in and of itself to have them spell it out immediately so no one has to feel bad/awkward. Likewise...that wouldn't jive with asking to bathe with the girls because being undressed around strange men would make you uncomfortable.

End of the day, Wano's a subtler arc that trusts you to read between the lines a little. Kiku's story all makes sense as a trans girl who seems to have always felt that way making the best of a rigid society that imposed a very masculine role on her. She'll play that part when the people of Wano and her family need her too, but it's consistently framed as tragic you have to feel that way much like most of the lady samurai movies she's inspired by. We've also seen Oda play with so many characters in this space too, it's pretty clear Kiku's treated a little differently.

#rhea's question corner #okiku

8 notes · View notes

krikeymate · 2 years ago

Note

Top 5 moments of your life thus far.

These can be good, bad, or any variation thereof.

Please feel free to disregard if it's too personal of an ask.

Honestly, I... am so boring. Not a lot has happened in my life to be honest, for better or worse.

Top has definitely been deciding to make those Scream posts back in March, I've got to talk to and befriend so many incredible people because of that, and I've never been in a better place mentally. Even in my low moments, I've bounced back faster than ever before. It's really made a significant impact on me as a person and helped continue my growth, and I don't have the words to describe how thankful I am. This fandom experience has been my favourite so far from the past... god, 20 years. I want to give a special shoutout to Bailey and Dreamer, who have inspired me so much and I am so incredibly lucky to call them my friends, I don't remember what it's like before they started talking to me and gave me a chance. One that people really haven't before. Friends, real friends, aren't something I have much experience with.

I guess another formative experience has to be my first foray into fanfiction, I was like 9, maybe younger, it was Pokemon, it was an independent little website as was the norm back in the day, AAML 4 lyfe. God I feel old. Anyway those fics were NOT APPROPRIATE and I still think of them to this day. Would love to reread them, but doubt they're still around, and even if they are it would be impossible to find I think.

Over a decade ago now, when I was much younger, I made a couple of fandom friends, that ended badly, but I don't regret making them. They were important and formative for me too, and more importantly, one of them was the first person to ever call me Kai, instead of my full username Kaishei, although now I tend to go by Kailyr, and that... it changed my life. It felt right.

Uhm. I can drive? I passed my driving test in 2021... on like the fifth attempt or something in two years - and barely at that. The instructor literally said I was a borderline fail, but he decided to pass me because he can see that I know how to drive. And also because I said I was probably going to give up if I failed. I hate driving, it's very stressful, but necessary where I live now.

Oh, when I was like five - yes, literally 5 - I played my first real video game, back in 1999. I'd played some, some educational ones. But this was a real video game, and it was - there's a pattern you see - not age-appropriate. The game was Dungeon Keeper (Gold), and it is to this day my very favourite game of all time, the game that nothing since has matched for me.

As a bonus, here's some things I'm really looking forward to: Top Surgery, eventually (the UK trans medical system is a joke); Dreamer coming to visit me next year; when I eventually get to go visit Dreamer on their turf too; and getting to decorate my new bedroom in the house my parents have just bought, and having some real space to make it my own and exist.

#/mp #/ppt #ask box #radicalfrancoiseappledelhi #ask box interaction answers

11 notes · View notes

kyodesyo · 2 months ago

Text

Characteristics of people who are prone to villains | The identity of the role that people who suffer from seclusion and loneliness are easy to carry

There are people in the group who inevitably become "villins". Even though someone didn't intentionally try to make it worse, it can happen naturally. The composition can be seen in family, at work, and in friendships. Why does this happen? In this article, we will explore how people who are prone to villains can protect their hearts and get out of it while unraveling the psychological mechanism.

I provide counseling to people who feel seclusion and difficult to live.

If you would like to consult us, please visit the following URL.

Https://coconala.com/users/4785898

1. The psychological structure in which a villain is born when three people gather

・The villain position is inevitably born

When a human relationship of more than three people is born, a "villist" may inevitably be set. In psychology, it is known as the "scapegoat theory", and people who take on dissatisfaction and stress in a group tend to be born naturally.

This is also explained in family system theory (family therapy). For example, when a problem occurs in the family, one person assumes the function as a "problem child" or "child who takes time", and the other family relationships are temporarily stabilized. It's as if the "villin" is unconsciously chosen, and they try to balance the whole.

・Even if everyone is a good person, villains are born

In human relationships, even if everyone wants to be a "good person" in the same way, a villain will still be born. This is the result of a combination of the work of "human groups trying to be homogeneous" and the psychology of "reassuring by setting evil on the outside".

An environment where everyone is a good person, even if it seems ideal at first glance, is actually very unstable. When a small mistake or misunderstanding occurs, it becomes a factor that is recognized as "someone else's fault". A small mistake triggers the person with the smallest voice and the inconspicuous person becomes a "villin".

2. Why do people who become villains try to become "really bad people"?

・Self-defense to protect the "label"

quotemarkYou're really a troublemaker.

"He did it again, didn't he?"

When these words are repeated, people begin to act according to the label. In psychology, this is called the "labeling effect". By behaving badly as expected by those around you, you try to digest the helplessness in your heart that "no matter what you do, you can't accept it anyway".

Therefore, misunderstandings and prejudices that were received by chance at first will eventually cause really "bad behavior". It seems to be desperate, and at the same time, it looks like "divided strength". This is how the negative spiral is completed.

・"I want to stand out" and "I want to dominate" are behind the scenes

Some people try to secure their presence in the group by daring to stick to the villains. Don't be afraid of friction with your surroundings, and try to stand in a leading position by being feared. This is an unhealthy form of self-affirmation, but behind it, there is a deep fear that "if you don't stand out, you will be forgotten" and "I want to be hated rather than be ignored".

This kind of behavior pattern is often seen in people who have the experience of attracting attention as a "hand-consuming child" at home. In other words, by being a villain, I am trying to get "attraction", "existence value" and "sense of security".

3. What are the characteristics of people who are easy to take on the villain position?

・Loneliness and low self-evaluation

People who are easily made into villains have something in common. It is that I believe in the depths of my heart that "I have no value" and "no matter what I do, it won't work". If you have this assumption, you can't refute it even if it's denied, and rather you will be convinced that "I'm no good after all".

In order to protect yourself, you may even unconsciously choose to be a villain anyway. This is deeply related to past trauma and the family environment that has been raised.

・Tendency of "not being good at getting on the good side"

People who are not good at cooperating with others and belonging to the team as "good people" tend to be easily villainized. I'm clumsy in expressing my emotions, I'm modest, or I'm not good at reading the air. Due to the "misalignment" with the surroundings, it floats somehow and is labeled as a "person who causes some kind of problem".

However, these people are by no means bad people, but rather sincere and sensitive people. However, because it is inconspicuous and the voice cannot be reached, the loss of the role is forced.

4. Behind the scenes of "villin popularity" seen in anime and stories

・Psychological reasons for superimposing your heart on the villain

For some reason, are you attracted to the villain characters that appear in anime, movies, and manga? It's not just because it looks good. Rather, they are often portrayed as "people who are not understood", "beings with loneliness" and "people who carry heartache", and we put ourselves on top of it.

Psychologically, this is called "projection". I feel like the villain is speaking for the anger, sadness, and screams that I can't express myself in the story. And by touching that anger, my heart becomes a little lighter. The villain may be the appearance of "another self" that is not allowed in reality.

・Instinct attracted to "aesthetics" in evil

The villain is not only violent, but also "the strength of faith" and "lonely beauty" are sometimes depicted. When the side considered to be righteous is ambiguous or contradictory, the villain may rather seem to be "consonseous".

This is because people who are facing contradictions and unreasonableness in the real world resonate with the dilemma. I should have lived the right life, but it is not rewarded" - when I feel that way, the villain's figure is reflected as if he were a spokesperson.

5. The perspective necessary to get out of the villain position

・Changing the group is also an option

If you continue to be in an environment where you are made a villain, you will not be able to see your true self. Even if you make an effort to change, if there is an air that does not allow it, it is a "poisonous place". It is also a great choice not to stay there by force, but to move to a new relationship and place.

This is also related to the idea of cognitive behavioral therapy called "re-selection of the environment". Instead of blaming yourself for not being able to do well in your current place, it is also a step in recovery to say, "This is a place where you can't take advantage of your goodness."

・Verbalization of emotions to stand on the "good side"

When you are in the position of a villain, you are afraid to express your emotions. However, by verbalizing emotions, you can see "what you are hurt by" and "what you are looking for".

In some parts of psychotherapy, "jaring (the work of writing emotions)" is often used.

"I was hurt by the word ◯◯ today. That's because it was a word that I've been denied for a long time.

As such, you can alleviate excessive self-denial just by visualizing your feelings.

6. The difference between "choosing" loneliness and "locking up"

・What is deep in the heart of a person who chooses loneliness

Some people who say "because it's easy to be alone" are "pretending to choose loneliness" to avoid being hurt while having the real desire to be understood by someone. This is a state that can be described as "preventive isolation", and it is because of the experience of being deeply hurt that they are cautious about building new relationships.

The more people who have experienced being a villain, the more they tend to close their hearts by saying, "I don't believe anyone anymore." However, choosing loneliness in the true sense is to determine the distance from others by your own will, not to be locked up. Whether there is a choice or not, that's the key.

・Believe in "your side" rather than trying to enter the "good side"

Trying to be on the "good side" in human relationships can also lead to continuing to deny yourself. Rather, it is much more important to find a place where you can feel that you are good now.

The experience of being a villain in the past will not disappear. However, as a result, you can become sensitive to the pain of others, and you can have kindness that does not deny others, and "wound experience" may be your charm. There is always a place somewhere that will accept you as you are.

7. If you are on the villain's side now

・You can get out of where you are now

"If you're not in this place, no one will need you."

"I'm afraid of being thought I ran away."

Such thoughts may be binding you to that place. However, no matter how hard you try, if you can't get out of the environment of being a villain, it's not because of "you" but because "the group works".

It's the environment that needs to change, not you.

・Stay away from the role of "negative" and find a different self

There is no need to try to prove the worthlessness of existence for yourself. By getting involved with people in the light instead of looking for yourself in the negative, you will feel that "you are also valuable".

By being a villain, you must have put up with a lot of patience, sometimes blamed yourself, and cut your heart. But you can stop playing that role anymore. You can walk to a new place with kindness, loneliness, and wounds with everything.

A summary

The mechanism by which someone is made a villain is actually very common. It's at home, at work, at school, everywhere. However, if you are buried in it, you will lose sight of your value.

If you are now a "villin", that role is not your essence.

You can get out of there and stand on the new side.

There will surely be a place that will welcome you "as it is".

#hikikomori

0 notes

yandereloversblog · 3 years ago

Note

I'm rather curious. Do you have dark headcanons of Michael (fnaf) x female y/n by any chance, please?

𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖!𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕖𝕝 𝔸𝕗𝕥𝕠𝕟 -> 𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝 𝔹𝕖𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕣

•I do not have a gif for this one XD- I'm thinking of just making banners instead of having to look for them the entire time- but anyways! In my files I had this old scoring system kind of thing? I'll try looking for whoever created it but yeah! It'll touch on Michael's mental, emotional and affectionate awareness, his motives and behaviour in general.

•I might also do this for other characters? Kinda get their baseline personality down. Also I'm sorry if this is just all over the place. It's nearly 4 am and I got an important dinner to attend tomorrow that I'm not ready for :') if it isn't up to par you can request again.

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

>Fandom: Five Nights At Freddy's

>Character: Michael Afton

>Warnings: Yandere, Unhealthy and Toxic mindset, Toxic behaviour, Violent Behaviour, Mentions of murder, Stalking.

>Type Of Content: Headcanons

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

•Awareness Classification -> Lucid:

Michael is very tired. He'd rather not go around thinking up idiotic delusionals, especially if you're in the picture. Michael would know immediately he's infatuated with you and will try his best to keep it on the downlow -if his obsession doesn't get too bad immediately and he kidnaps you- He'll also know what he's doing, maybe feel bad about it but will continue to just drool over your existence because of course you're literally the light of his life right now.

•Emortional Classification -> Empathetic:

Although Michael may appear rather cold and stern at first [He's a man on a mission to undo his dad's deeds for fucks sake] he does hold a very soft spot for you. And that soft spot will continue to soften up until he's rightfully obsessed with you. He does empathise with you though, having to be loved by someone like him? What rotten luck. Now he has to kidnap you. It's the first time Michael feels alive like this and he's not letting it go.

•Affection Classification -> Owning:

Despite being in love with you, I doubt Michael has ever seen or known about a healthy romantic relationship [I mean look at the household he grew up in]. So his affection comes off as more of a desire to own you, keeping you with him forever, you still gotta give him praise for being so soft about it, least he doesn't keep you on a tight leash and collar. He doesn't know how to properly love you in any other way but all Michael knows is that he needs you.

•Motive -> Isolating:

Michael has had too many loses, he was even the cause of one, so what he does with his darling is lock them up, make sure no harm comes to them and that they're safe from the world and from him on some occasions. Don't worry though! He'll tell you a lot about what he does to keep you entertained, always giving your forehead a gentle kiss every time he leaves for work, knowing he might not return back to you physically agonizes him so he tries surviving every night. He still needs to make sure you're locked up and where he left you.

•Behaviour:

-> Obsessive: Although it's subtle, Michael is very observant when it comes to his darling, he's obsessed with knowing their every move and what they think about, the sheer thought of them brings him joy for some reason.

-> Protective: It's no surprise, he knows the dangers of the outside world, especially supernatural dangers that for a fact exist. So he's super protective of his darling when it comes to any situation.

-> Stalker: One thing Michael picked up very quickly is being quiet and stealthy, he can sneak around anywhere and he'll use it to learn every information he can about you, from your family to your favourite colour or insignificant things like your favourite blanket pattern or shape and doodles you do when you're bored. Even the smallest things excite him. He'll love to steal one bottle of your perfume and then spray it on his pillow or blanket and thing he's cuddling you

-> Monopolizing: It's way different from just simple possessiveness, Michael would want to know everything so he can control you later, especially with who you hang out with, Michael wants to have you all to himself.

-> Restraining: Michael doesn't like being separated from you after you get close. He'll always be by your side during the day, or even get you to be at his house most of the time, slowly chipping away at any option besides himself so when you decide to hang out with someone it's him. Before you know it he'll be making most decisions for you and then gaslight you when you think otherwise and especially when you try leaving his side.

-> Loneliness Induction: Michael wants you to be alone. All alone so he can have you to himself without interruptions. And if that means removing all your friends from your life, whether it was by blackmailing, destroying their reputation or killing them then so be it. Even if he has to kidnap you to get rid of anyone in his way he'll do it.

-> Removal: Michael hates it but he does find relief when getting rid of his victims, he'll remove any person in his way to get to you but is that so wrong? He's not actively going out of his way to kill them, they were just being idiots and got in his way for your affection and attention.

"Come here [Y/N], I'll be sure to take care of you, forever."

#yandere #yandere fnaf #yandere x reader #yandere michael afton #yandere mike afton #yandere headcanons #its 3 in the morning #insomnia is killing me

360 notes · View notes

muffindaddystyles · 5 years ago

Text

𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

A blurb of Harry working out and how you can't keep your hands to yourself. Basically, I'm talking about THAT video of Harry. Sure it turned all of us tingly and last night we all meditated, a teasing smut for ya'll right here.

Your brows knighting together in your heavy slumber as the cool sheets swallowed your body whole, you moan in a kitten hum when the air-conditioned chillness gave a relaxing soothing feeling and you rub your one calf over another snuggling close to Harry's pillow.

When your body didn't molded into his's your eyes snapped open. A groan escaping your lips accompanied by a sigh when you heard the instinctive noises of him and others outside. Combing back your feral hair back and putting on some pyjamas, to look presentable since you're wearing nothing but his shirt from last night.

You trudged your way through lobby finding where they all are. A glass of water in your hand, it would've fell from your hold thanks to your grip that it didn't. The sight infront of you flipping your tummy into unbelievable somersaults, on instinct you leaned against the frame of large window pane squinting your eyes from bright sunlight moreso from the admiration.

He's working out with Jeff's sister. Pulling dumbbells effortlessly, his biceps stretching deliciously, his pecs wide spreading with his each pull and he's shining golden under the sun. Jeff's sister says something to him and his tiny cackle bellows into humid air. His sight only making arousal pool into your pyjamas sticking to the inside of your thighs.

Your heart said "fuckin' awe." when he scooches further to join his feetsies with his companion.

Your giggle chokes onto the water you're sipping when Jeff's sister announces with a hint of misheve in her voice, "We've got an intruder, here." Harry's head perks up at this. His honey gaze finding yours in an instant and the dumbbells hit the grass with a smooshing thump, when he quickly stood up reaching to you with two strides of his daddy long legs.

He pats his bum to shrug of the tickling grass, when you regained your breath back his palm pressed against your midriff from over his shirt as he smauched a loud kiss to your lips ignoring your morning breath.

"Enjoyed what ye' saw, lovie'?" He grins pinching your hip bone and you swatted his chest glaring up at him, he wrapped your both wrists into his one large hand tugging you close and your dainty squeal fused into his mouth when he couldn't resist but to give you another kiss.

He intervines your fingers dragging you outside and lays down on the ground, arms under his neck and knees bent; "Help me work out, meh sleepy girl." You chuckle rolling your eyes and folding your arms infront of your chest.

"As if you need help from me, a person who never exercised." It's true. Because due to university work you never got a chance and now your tiring job don't leaves you alone. But, that doesn't mean you aren't in love with your body. You love the way you're.

"Yeh know wha' kinda help, I want darlin'." He drawls out with a shit eating grin and you huffed dramatically giving him a playful side eye flopping onto ground where his feet are. Jeff's sister long gone knowing you people could be very handsy in eachother's presence.

You ground his ankles tightly with your small hands, butting your chin atop his bent knees with a puppy sleepy look and he brushed your hair behind your ear only coming back to his usual goofy antics by pinching your nose hard.

"Harry!!" You fussed shutting your eyes close and he giggles doing his first scrunch, stealing a kiss from your parted whining lips. He cups your cheeks there for a moment holding you still, "sorry. don't be a squirmy worm." When he goes back smoothly you throws dagger at him but your beam says otherwise.

"I'll eat you whole." Your statement honest. Because this curly head green eyed bambi's the cause of wetness between your legs and the flutterness of your heart.

He again scrunches over collecting his core tight and again pecked your lips murmuring against your mouth, "baby yeh can suck me only." Your nails digging to his calloused skin and sweat dripping down your spine.

Fifty scrunches in total like it's nothing but it was tiring you and you grabbed him by his neck when he came to meet you for his another promised kiss, "'s hot." You hiss when his long arm slided to grope your ass even after knowing the balcony's open for everyone's view.

He breaths raggingly gliding his palm up and down your heated core, "where? here, in between ye' legs?" You nod eagerly humming eroticaly. Your voice extra sexy from morning's hoarseness.

"We've only two days left. Love me, please." You pout like a baby ignoring the lump of tears in your throat at the thought of departure from him in two days back home. You traveled with him to L.A to just be his rock, to support him emotionally and physically for his debut film. He was erratic to introduce you to everyone around his new cast mates, his mouth wide into a proud ecastatic beam with his palm spread in protective manner at your back as he couldn't resist but to kiss your head when anyone would compliment you. His girl, his lovie' makin him so proud.

"'ey baby. c'mere lovie gonna take care of ye'." He pushes you up with your both hands and with a giggle you launch onto your feet smacking three pecks at the corners of his lips.

He waddled behind you whispering something in your ear that made you cackle hard and as you both passed through the kitchen, Jeff and Gelyne acted like you two don't even exist giving eachother smirks at the two doves mesireably in love with eachother.

"Done working this early?" Gelyne teased Hary and he swiped the sweat over his forehand dramatically puffing his chest out, "gonna work fo' somethin' else now." You blew a hit to him at his pervert talking.

You snorted clamping your mouth shut when he roared like a lion pretending to eat the apples of your tinted cheeks, his hips bucking to meet yours in feverish heat as the back of your knees collided with the cool tiles of ensuite bathroom.

"Gonna miss yeh s' bad." He whispered kissing the soft bone of your ear and you gulped thickly coiling your arms around his neck. "Me too, bubs. Promise me you'd fly twice a month back London. Back, home." You moaned into his mouth when he grabbed your jaw to slot his lips to yours in a messy, drooling and sweaty kiss sealing his promise into affection.

His hands sneaking under his shirt to fondle with your tits, pinching it mildly causing you to arch your spine and grind your pyjama clad pussy against his bulge.

Soon the fabric was pooling at your shins. He whimpered at the glistening moisture of yours, "drippin' fo' me lovie?" You bob your head vigorously making grabby hands at him.

"This needs t' go." You tugged the hum of his white shorts sticking to his plump ass sexily and he chuckled squishing your cheeks and showering you in kisses at your cuteness, "'s fuckin' thirsty fo' me' cock."

"Ah! bloody darn." He grunted letting his head fall to the crook of your neck when you yanked his shorts down finding him in nothing. You tsked maneuvering your fingers through his damp curls pulling at them demandingly and roughly, "such a whore. had your balls shoved onto people's faces." The next thing he said made your laughs billow into mauve washroom.

"Whore fo' you." With a grin and bottom lip sucked inside your mouth you wrapped your palm around his hard girth spreading his pre-come from his rosy tip down his shaft sloppyily.

The pads of his fingers brushed your fluttering pussylips and you gasped attaching your mouth to his when he nursed your cunt with your own arousal, teasing two fingers at your clenching hole.

There's something in touching eachother at the same time, it's just too intimate it makes you combust right at that moment.

"Want you. Please, inside." You gave him sweet eyes stroking him slowly and lewdly, while he slipped his one finger deep inside your soapy cunt knuckles pressed to your pussylips and he curled it to nuzzle your g-spot.

His lips remained rested on your forehead as you lined him at your entrance. Your chests flushing with erotic breaths when he was completely buried inside your walls. His veiny, thick and warm skin seathing through your delicacy making both of you moan.

"Don't." He whimpered lowly when you creampied around his thick cock in rapid patterns. He scratched his blunt nails down your back to grope your ass and shoved his fingers between your asscheeks to give you double stimulation.

He swallowed groggily, "will cum at the spot if ye' keep squeezin' 'round me' cock like this, pet." You nodded and he finds you so innocent he could cry from the love that's oozing out for you from straight his heart.

He pinned you roughly against the tiles. Palms full with your pulpy tits as he slowly started to to thrust into you. Your cheek smashed atop his shoulder and you rocked your pelvis to his movements. The view in the mirror infront of you making you more slick than you already are and it tricked down your legs.

His back's flexing, curls droopy, his arse on full display and juicy. When you gave it a smack he groaned into your ear giving a pleasuring rough thrust in return.

His pre-come weeping into your cunt when you digged your nails into his ass and he pushed his thumb hard against your asshole, rubbing it with stroking electrifying patterns.

"Ha-harry..." You clinged around his sweaty body when he kept on fucking inside you with mind clogging pace. The trim patch of his pubic hair tickling against your pelvis bone and he pressed his hand against your lower abdomen looking you in eyes, "could feel me in yeh' tummy?" His words causing you to lull your head on your shoulders giving him access to the exposed skin of your throat.

He wrapped his hand around your throat giving it a squeeze and leaving lovebites from your jaw down to your collarbones, "asked ye' somethin' pretty girl." He growled biting menacingly the soft skin of your sternum and you cried out filthyly clamping your pussy tight around him.

"Yes. Wanna cum." He retorted at this sucking your lower lip into his mouth and circling your clit with languid harshness.

"Cum fo' me, lovie'. come all over daddy's cock like a good girl yeh' are." He cradled your face. Kissing your eyelids, your bunny nose and your sweet little dirty mouth.

Your pupils blowing out wide and lips parting. With knighted brows you looked at Harry making grabby hands at him when you felt your orgasm building in your belly.

Knowing you always need Harry to embrace you in his arms when you come, he immediately scooped you up in his arms running soothing patterns at the nape of your neck still rocking inside you lazily. He himself bout to cum hard.

"Hmm. You're there baby, c'mon give it to meh'" With a strangled moan you came all over him. Your wetness cinching around him tipple him to edge too and he doubled over slapping his palm over your head and hugging you close to his chest.

"Fuck me' favourite kinda work-out." He grinned pecking your lips and pulling out of you to step back. You squealed when the cold shower poured over your heads like a furious rain.

"Pervert." You laughed poking his skin near his belly button but he whacked it away feeling ticklish.

The coming few months would be excruciating without him and you'll have to live through facetimes and voice-calls, but it's okay. His happiness's yours.

576 notes · View notes

gffa · 4 years ago

Note

I know I've brought this up before, but how much of the fandom reception of the prequels do you think stemmed from the genre dissonance? That the prequels, genre-wise, are closer to high fantasy, while the OT is more an adventure/space western/underdog triumph story.

The prequels also have elements more reminiscent of a romantic period/court drama/Shakespearean tragedy, while if you consider the underdog angle of the OT, the OT also seems kinda similar to some of those inspirational movies about sports teams or something, or a shonen anime with the "Power of Friendship".

I'm just saying, these are rather disparate genres that tend to attract different demographics of people.

And not many people tend to be... great about understanding why they don't like something, much less putting it into words, or understanding that they can dislike something without that something being actually bad. (For example, instead of "I just don't really like [thing]," the usual statement is something along the lines of "[thing] absolutely sucks.")

So the usual response is trying to find (and gather) solidarity while putting down or being condescending towards any dissent, and trying to justify their own dislike. (*gestures vaguely towards pineapple on pizza*)

And historically, it's not uncommon for people to... react strongly towards things they find... different or abnormal, which they judge based on themselves, their emotional response to something, and what they're used to.

Looking at kids, this behavior is... fairly normal. "You're weird," "ew, why do you like that, that's gross," "that's stupid," and so on. A lot of kids/teens/young adults also get defensive really easily. And let's face it--adults are basically just older, taller kids who've had to deal with more of life.

(To be honest, I also get defensive really easily. A lot of people do, and it's... it's normal. The defensive reaction can be lashing out, denial, or just being passive-aggressive or staying silent and tuning it out or mentally rolling your eyes at it. But I'm trying to work on it, because just because it's normal doesn't mean it's a good reaction.)

So, what I'm wondering is whether some fans dislike the prequels simply because it's a different genre...

...but instead of realizing that, they try to defend and justify their dislike by pointing fingers and criticizing whatever stood out or looked different from the OT or cherry-picking details/taking things out of context or making negative conflations (that can be refuted).

Because it's not about logic, it's about how they feel. And people want to feel justified and validated, and we want to feel like we're right and we enjoy staying in our comfort zones. So... yeah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LOL, okay, this response is going to be really disjointed because I went off in like a dozen different tangents and even then it's not enough to cover everything, so just kind of read this in a Scattered Thoughts Nerd kind of tone, where I'm staring off into the distance because Navel Gazing Gets Me Going Sometimes. 😂 In my experience, it's sort of a mix. I don't hang around a lot of people who dislike the prequels (in the sense of dismissing them/not being fannish about them) because, well, that's the heart of my interest in Star Wars, so our areas of interest basically don't really overlap that much, so I don't have a chance to talk to a lot of people and find out their reasons or even how they dislike the prequels, in the bigger trends of fandom. I do think there's an element of what you're talking about, that sometimes people can't just dislike things because it's not their genre of choice, that's absolutely a part of it. Mostly because that's how a lot of people react to anything they don't like (and it's something I and literally everyone else has to work on), there has to be a reason for it that it's objectively bad and, like, I have experienced a lot of people getting mad because I like something in a different way than they do. And I don't mean just in Star Wars fandom, but in almost any given fandom--if someone likes something in a way someone else doesn't, if they talk loudly about it (even within their own space), then there's always a contingent of people who have to find a reason why that person is objectively wrong (or even try to make them morally wrong), rather than just shrugging and going, "We see things differently, my view on things doesn't overwrite theirs and their view on things doesn't overwrite mine." It gets more complicated in instances where fandom attitudes genuinely can be hurtful, especially when they're overlapping into the way real people are treated, likes/dislikes don't 100% exist in a bubble, especially when it comes to queer fans, fans of color, disabled fans, mentally ill fans, etc. But that there are a lot of instances where fandom culture has always been--and is increasingly so--contentious and it's hard to chill out when someone is always screaming at you, when the atmosphere of the fandom is always so intense. Further, there's also an element of how fandom has always been--and also is increasingly so--about personal resonance, personal emotional investment, interpretation, and meaning. That sometimes we identify with something so deeply that we feel attacked when someone else likes or dislikes something we feel so strongly about, something that we feel is a reflection of ourselves, and I see a lot of that as well. And this, too, often crosses over into lines of how the context of how we treat characters can be reflections of how we treat real world people, but that there's no monolith here as well. For example: I make fun of Anakin, this angers some people, because how dare I not take this fictional victim 100% seriously, despite that I have repeatedly said that Anakin is the character I most identify with, that things I make fun of him for are ones that I resonate with personally. I'm not disrespecting mentally ill people, especially considering that Anakin is not bound to a single interpretation on this front--he is not canonically mentally ill, no matter how easy it is for us in fandom to map much of that onto his character or, in my case, feel that so much of what I see in him are things I struggle with myself. By and large, the majority of the people I see (at least on tumblr) who make fun of Anakin are doing so within the same vein, that they're being silly about him on things that they personally relate to. (My experiences on this are not universal, I cannot speak for the whole of even any one part of fandom, only my own sphere of experience, but this is what I've seen.) As always, it's fine if someone doesn't vibe with my style or they find that it's not their thing because they do take him more seriously, but that preference does not make my jokes

suddenly not have the context that I relate a lot to what I see in Anakin. In contrast, the way some of the fandom treats Mace or Finn isn't just personal all the time. Not liking their characters isn't inherently racist, but the way they're consistently, consistently treated sure as hell speaks to a larger pattern of racism in fandom and doesn't come without that context. It's the same with Rey--is there a huge vein of misogyny when it comes to her character? Abso-fucking-lutely there is. Things Luke and Anakin get a pass on, Rey is raked over the coals for. Is everyone who dislikes Rey a misogynist? Not even close. Some don't like her because Finn was used as a prop for her story. Some people don't like her because she got sucked into Kylo Ren's story too much. Some just don't care for the way she was written for other reasons. Some just don't vibe with her. It's fine. Nothing is a monolith. And to circle this back around to what you're talking about--it's hard to judge, both because no part of fandom is a monolith in their reactions, but also because we're only hearing from a selection of the fans. How do you know how many people who aren't fans of the prequels, who just don't care for them because it's not their genre, but just go about their day? You don't hear from a lot of them because they moved on to things they do like, so it seems like they must not exist--except, they do, and they're just out there doing things they like more. We only hear from the people who feel the need to tell others they dislike the prequels for this reason or that reason, some valid, some less valid, etc. Ultimately, I do think there's probably a fair amount of genre dissonance for why people dislike the prequels and channel that into "they're objectively bad" and get defensive when people like them and say they were great, but only because that's true of anything anywhere. But that it's only one small slice of the bigger picture (and there's a lot of stuff that I had to eschew in the writing of this response as well because it can be a pretty sprawling topic), where there are tons of reasons and reactions that people have, as well as they're perfectly free to dislike the prequels for whatever reason they do or don't have, it doesn't really affect my opinions, unless they're trying to shove it in my face or are being a dick to those who disagree with them.

#lumi.txt #idk how to tag this

58 notes · View notes

mediacinemtographyartetc · 3 years ago

Text

I have issues with "Turning Red."

Okay so I have some issues with Turning Red, but the problem is no one is bringing this up or pointing it out so I thought it's just me I'll just pretend the movie doesn't exist and let people vibe.

But the only critic is regurgitated bs about "It's about periods- Parents hate it- anti-feminists hate it- Racists hate it-"

like it's all BOTS and fake and not actually critising the film but if I say hey I don't like turning red it is hard to sit through and I just can't watch it I would be lumped with those guys when I have no problem with the film.

I see people like it, I've seen spoilers and think "Oh man that looks cool- but this one THING I just can't sit through the film."

THe actual critics are divided and it says nothing about the film.

[Read more for why I couldn't sit through it- but if you REALLY like turning red back away and don't read coz if you read the rest, then thats on you, you take responsibility.]

Truth is. I can see that this is a good film, the animation elements feel like anime came to cgi better than what ghibli's earwig witch could've done. So that gets a point!

it was able to convey so many messages for EVERYONE was it puberty or was it being diagnosed with a disability? Was it about how young girls have to mask?

I do think the film has charm- there are elements I want to see...

I just couldn't get past the first 12 minutes.

I'm just saying when your on the spectrum when others get representation others don't. as in, the beggining of the movie is a LOT of information packed with random colours, quick shots then theres the dialouge is just tossed in there to the point where it's a bit random and 'quircky'

There would be nothing wrong with that, if it wasn't for the fact that when it comes to boys cartoons everyone is unique has an archetype, the leader the clown the intellect, but with girls like Mabel [Gravity Falls] Lutz [Owl House] Adora [She-ra] Theres a continuing pattern of "I'm am so raNDOM the cake is a LiE- I'm so QURICKY LOL!"

With mei being...alot, I can see myself in this character and know I was just like that as a kid. So I don't dislike her at all. Its just I am getting a lot of information and becoming very overwhelemed to the point where I can't process what is even happening where I didn't even catch their names.

My family [And I] are dsylexic, one sympton is being unable to concentrate on multiple things at once. [So thats my brains fault, not the movie]

So the beggining of turning red is probably giving most people a dopamine rush which awesome, while myself, feel like I'm getting a headache.

And all those quick shot flashing images can't be good for people who are epiplectic [Incredibles 2 was also just as bad so I blame Pixar as a whole it's not just a criticism for this movie its at the company]

Mei is fine. I was able to watch majority because of her she was great and I thought okay I can sit through this.

But her friends feel a bit copy pasted of mei, all out there and random but nothing that seperates them and the only one who seems a little bit different is the one with the tone death voice like the girl from the office leading back to the whole.

Either your the goth or the prep girl like thats it.

So then theres the pacing- which means how the information is presented to you on screen is it fast paced is it slow paced- this isn't a problem with JUST turning red-

I noticed this in loki too.

quick example- current audiences of ALL ages are used to FAST. PACE. INFO. NOW.

Thanks to youtubes algorithim of post a video everyday- Tik toks/instagram CONSTANT quick snap of videos having to be conveyed in so many seconds for people to make a quick judgment to like the video to keep it going. So take current audiences and make them watch an old black and white movie.

Chances are...you're going to be bored out of your mind. So I've noticed tons of current cartoons are just getting a bit more fast and faster to the point where it feels as if someone is hitting fast-forward and everyone is speaking like a chipmunk.

With loki [another show with pacing issues]

There are opening shots of a mountain and it feels as if it's going on a bit too long where you are staring at a shot that is 10 seconds when it should've been five.

When the title screen appears of Mei I thought that was well done, and it gave me such ghibli vibes, but then it kept going of mei just randomly dancing and it was going on longer than it should've been.

Then theres moments in the beggining thats overly animated/over the top like the introduction of town 4 it feels as if the over the top animation should've started once it's established its characters first.

Introducing town 4 was for us the audience to know who the frick these guys were.

Meanwhile the girls already know who town 4 is, I wouldn't change/axe the scene just use the magazine and use the animation of having the town 4 models suddenly come alive of the page where you are transported INTO the magazine of them getting introduced- the transition wouldn't be jarring and having Mei fastly telling you who each one was as if even SHE was trying to keep up with the animation being overly ambitious which felt like a waste of time to the animators leaving the bigger stuff to the middle towards the end towards the finalle- I mean the beggining wasn't EASING us into this world of characters it felt like a slap to the face.

I'm saying as a media student, Mei is fast paced which fair enough it would've been a better juxtapisition to have the animation not as fast/jarring so you're able to hear her speak without trying to figure out whats going on half the time.

Then the dialouge of the girls holding mei back from getting her bus to do a quircky dance- it feels too random but if in the few mintues previous of mei explaining town 4 and the boys DID that dance it would make sense as thats whats keeping them together and a common interest for them all.

idk- it's awful because turning red isn't the only thing that does this- so many of disneys movies regugitate and spew out information in a dump then slow the pace down agonsiingly slow near the end.

I despice Disneys nutcracker, I can't stand Loki, and others movies I can't sit through because Disneys pacing is just atrocious.

Turning Red.

There is nothing WRONG with the information that is turning red being the characters, the animation and everything about it. Its how that information is presented in pacing-dialouge etc.

I have grown up on anime so I'm wondering maybe if I change the language and put subtitles on would that make it easier to watch, I watched spanish/Japanise and chinese dramas/shows animations etc.

The only thing I can think that would explain it [because to reititare since NO ONE is talking about it I KNOW IT'S just me and no one else feels this way about the movie]

Is that as a kid I would watch youtubers who were/are diagnosed with adhd- colourful and fast paced youtube channels like thomas sanders/jazza/jacksepticeye/smosh etc I would gravitate towards.

But as a 25 year old I noticed those channels would grow up appear more calmer and I noticed I have changed and gravitate towards more slower paced videos.

Current kids who've reacted, genuinly enjoy the film.

And thats the POINT!

IF you're a kid/teen whose reading this who cares what I think- if you enjoyed the movie thats IT- the movie did it's job. And with most of fans enjoying it and giving it good reception than thats a win in my book!

Do I think Turning Red is over-hated? Yeah. I think people should talk about the issues the movie has but also the good parts. And to me I do think the good outweigh the bad. Also the fanart fans have made is making me want to give the movie a second chance and try to watch it again *fingers crossed.*

Then theres the others thing [feel free to ignore this]

Okay remember I am 25 and I have watched...ALOT of movies.

So the whole turning red is a period analogy is off-putting to me-

As a women I'll explain- don't bite my head off.

But it just makes me think "Who wrote this stephen king?"

I am just tired of the whole, periods is a metaphor of being a monster or some sort of sexual awakening [carrie/beverly] So seeing a red Panda [monster] and period makes me tired because YES that is something that young girls face and YES good on the movie to make it normal thats okay thats fine.

But it kinda reduces girls to their bodies and some kids who may be transitioning don't get that and seems pretty exclusive [DO NOT take my word for this I am not speaking for trans/nonbinary as I have no right just pointing it out tho]

I have my own issues with it and believe that yeah periods are normal [I tease my dad about it every waking moment] but in media it feels very tired/overplayed to the point where I feel like I prefer if Turning Red was about puberty the line of being an adult acting your age and hiding elements of yourself while also being a teenager struggling with brand new emotions thats very overwhleming chipping away parts of yourself and trying to act like an adult- issues with feminity and either being overly feminie [slut] or rejecting feminity [tomboy or dyke] or maybe being on the spectrum and 'masking' trying to act neruotypical to 'fit in'

I feel like a period analogy is overplayed, but when it comes to neurodivergence, feminism, maturity etc thats something that feels refreshing so I lean more towards that personally.

Meanwhile others would find the period analogy perfect and refreshing so I'm not outright rejecting I am stating that I prefer one thing but I'm aware others would prefer something else.

So I am giving Turning Red another point for being able to convey something for everyone. Like we can all exist in this one space with our own thoughts/opinions without stepping on anyones toes.

My only question for the people who read this far and are either fuming and want to tell me how wrong I am- I will ignore.

My only question is- does the pacing get better later on in the film, should I give it another chance because some of the shots/scenes I've been spoiled seem to be paced very well so I was wondering is it a rushed opening but then sails on later on in the movie?

OR if someone does genuinly want to know and asks "Yeah I've read all of this and completely disregarded it because how can you not like the film I just don't understand."

I know you're probably thinking you're in the right place, but this type of response always puts me in a rage to the point where I can't think.

I have put evidence here and if you can't understand then any further in depth or response from me would just be wasting each others time.

And I would assume you were a troll.

And it makes me feel as if all of my thoughts/feelings was disregarded because someone was too busy being offended over a cartoon.

I have put in so many times how the issues I had was mostly pacing dialouge which means its not what there saying it's how someone edited the whole thing and put them all together thats all.

#Turning Red #where do I begin #Mei #Red Panda #turning red gets too much hate #Turning red is over-hated it's just a cartoon and some of the critics are ridiculous #I don't like turning red #I can't sit through it #Read at your own risk

6 notes · View notes

themockingcrows · 3 years ago

Text

i got hit with a deep wave of peace and serenity earlier, instead of my usual sense of impending doom and anxiety, and it stuck out so much to me it was kind of alarming. i didn't know if i should trust it, if it was actually something bad or not. mentioned it to therapist.

he, in his gentle old man way, pointed out that the good vibes prolly would've happened regardless of if I had planned for them or not. he also gently pointed out that poking and prying and questioning every good vibe that comes my way will in fact kill it faster and make the anxiety and distrust win out.

it made me think of things being like a butterfly. vibe will come, it will sit on your hand, walk on your fingers as you marvel at its wings and delicacy and how gently you need to treat this little thing for it to stay alive. then it will leave on its own volition when its time to be there is done, and the cycle will continue on and one.

you don't squish butterflies. you don't grasp their slender bodies, you don't break their wings and rip them apart to see how they work while they're alive. if you're that curious, look at a dead one, one that isn't coming and going anymore. you are gentle as a whisper with them, existing in the same space as them, until they leave again. you don't know when the next butterfly is going to sit on you, but you can make yourself an environment that would welcome butterflies to increase the chances. you can look for butterflies purposefully, or even place them there on purpose from somewhere else for a while. you can grow your own butterflies.

but the butterflies will still follow a pattern of past, present, future. coming, there, gone.

and you have to trust that there will be butterflies again. it might not be immediate, it might even be a while. but there will always be more butterflies when things are right for them, and till they come on their own there are pictures, there are videos, there are toys, there are other people talking about butterflies they're experiencing. so you're never entirely without them forever, no matter what.

i don't know where i'm going with this. i just thought it was neat.

3 notes · View notes

dngrcpckwithmurdericing · 4 years ago

Text

Disabled sewing - YMMV

I watch a lot of what seems to be affectionately known as "costube" and I make a lot of my own clothes at this point, which is !!!!! to me, since it was always a dream of mine when I was a kid. I found costube invaluable to me to explain how garments piece together - which is the first thing I have realized about my "disabled sewing".

I have read SO many books and purchased SO many patterns, only to give up in frustration, but actually watching someone piece together a garment from start to finish (and not in the Project Runway sense) made my ADHD, visual learning brain go: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

(Not sure why that surprised me, since "watch one, do one, teach one" is how I learn the best and always has been.)

Modern sewing is pretty focused on sewing machines, and I have had many in my life (starting with one from the 1950s set into a wooden table that folded up to have a glass top !) but I find it difficult and confusing to keep track of what I am doign with a sewing machine. Hand stitching, just because of what it is, forces me to slow down and focus on one seam at a time.

But my hands cramp and have tremors and that does not seem to be the case for the folks who film their sewing adventures.

I have learned to use a long needle. This goes against most hand sewing advice for clothes, because a short, small needle gives you lss of a "puncture" through the fabric and more "cntrol", but a longer needle, as long as it is slim, can still fit throug the weave of the fabric instead of puncturing it - especially with how loosely woven modern fabric is - and since there's more room to hold it, I can switch ff which fingers hold it, change the shape of my hand as it is holding it, and also don't drop it when my fingers tremor.

In hand stitching garments, if you read manuals - especially historical ones from the Victorian era - and sometimes in the "costube" videos - there's focus on making tiny, neat stitches. Well. First of all, the interior of your garment is your own, so if you are doing a back stitch, your garment will pretty much stick together, and no one will see. But also, I learned (I think from something Matthew Gnagy said in one of his videos) that modern fabric is so much more loosely woven than historical fabrics that tiny stitches can actually make your garment LESS structurally sound, rather than more. Since I learned that, I stopped feeling bad about not being able to make my stitches one mm long, and started focusing on getting the stitching done in a way that does not hurt/exacerbate my hand, finger, and wrist problems. I usually end up with 2 stitches per cm, or 4-5 stitches to an inch.

Yes, this is drastically fewer stitches per inch than you'd get with a sewing machine, and it might not work for something like a kirtle, where the stitches are taking the full weight stress of the garment, but you know what? If I were making a kirtle, I could just do TWO LINES OF STITCHING and then I would have 10 stitches per inch, and that measure can take about 50 lbs of stress (per sewing machine guidelines), which would be fine. (Although there is a 0% chance I will ever make a kirtle, since I can't wear tight things and couldn't button the sleeves up anyway!)

I mark out my stitch lines with pencil or pen (I don't use fancy fabrics, so what do I care if there's a pen mark on my cotton until it's washed?), and am very careless with seam allowance. As long as the seam allowance exists, the vagarities don't really matter - and cutting in a straight line is a no-go because of my hands and wrists, so not having to worry about cutting along a seam allowance line is great.

And then I often take a bright cheap polyester thread and baste. I can't sew in a straight line. I literally cannot draw a straight line with a ruler. But that actually rarely matters! If there's a running stitch every inch or so, I can eyeball it enough to get a decent enough seam. If someone is looking so closely at my clothing that they can see the side seam or the hem is a cm crooked, they are frankly standing way too close to me and should step the fuck away.

One thing some costubers do that I thought would be helpful but turned out to not work for me personally is pin the end of the fabric to a tailor's ham, or pillow, to help keep the tension. But it may work for some folks.

Finally, the last thing on my list is that due to my migraines, I have a hard time stitching in natural sunlight. However, I've found that my seasonal affective disorder sunlamp, which has brightness levels and can be situated into the exact position I want, make stitching a lot easier! And also can be used at any time of day, so if I want to sew at 7 pm, I don't have to worry that I am losing the sunlight, I can just adjust my lamp that does NOT trigger migraines, and sew for a half hour that way.

Lots of breaks are also crucial! Every 15 minutes or so, I give my hands and eyes a rest, and move around as much as I can to stretch out, just like when I'm working on the computer. Or, like, how I try to do when working on the computer and fail because I'm too hyperfocused on what I'm doing.

\o/

What are your disabled sewing tricks and tips?

#disability #disabled sewing #sewing #costube

16 notes · View notes

belit0 · 4 years ago

Text

Omega Izuna Part 2

Chapter 9 of Husbands, and my messy writing

Rated: M

Tw: Underage trafficking / brothel / induced heat.

Summary: Izuna meets Tajima's plans.

[I should note that Izuna is 9 years old and Madara is 16. The age of the remaining siblings is irrelevant. Don't worry, there is no underage, although things are getting a lot darker for Izu. Be careful while reading this chapter, I guess]

Little Omega walks through the streets of the Uchiha compound while securing his eyes on the ground. At the front line, his two Alphas brothers have some distance, struggling not to be identified in the clan’s company’s humiliation. Both teenagers have been chatting with shouts and amusement since they left home in the dawn, on a mission to transport Izuna.

The inexperienced child could not pick up the destination for his older relatives were to take him to, direct orders from Tajima given in the commander’s confinement’s room, that place at home where Izuna’s little ears reached no sound. He was not suicidal enough to sneak away and listen in secret, but the reference of his name had made its way to him when the two Alphas finished conversing with their father and left that room.

Whenever Madara was absent, whatever the reason, distant unpleasant situations for the youngest brother of the five would turn out. Tajima waited for the chance when his firstborn was not around to protect him, continually planning various forms to get rid of Izuna at the slimmest opportunity.

And now, while the Alpha heir was away under false pretexts, Izuna is quickly shoved from his spot on the floor and pulled through the exit to the streets.

Only times when the Omega was lucky enough to doze in an actual bed, those nights when Madara was at home and nestled him tight every night.

Walking reluctantly, he doesn’t know what to predict. His eyes refuse to face up, for he knows people must point fingers at him and say things similar to what his father mutters every day. On his back, where the symbol of the Uchiha clan should shine proudly like everyone else’s around, only sits a clumsily traced drawing.

Tajima tore all the embroidered emblems from his robes upon understanding his fifth child was an Omega, sentencing him to survival in ridicule and public degradation. It was Madara, who with charcoal and any element capable of leaving some kind of trace on the dull blue cloth symbolic of the Uchihas, promoted him to make his own pattern, making Izuna feel part of those who repudiated his presence so much.

At nine years old, he simply knows one individual who cares for his life. His older brother.

“Go faster, you little piece of shit!”

“Yeah... enough with Father making us deal with your existence, and now you choose to take your time!”

At the shouts of his older relatives, Izuna’s exposed feet hurry, deciding to catch up with them. Tajima forbade him to wear sandals like the rest of the clan, highlighting his inferiority.

After a long-distance, both Alphas guide the little Omega to an area of the Uchiha compound little known, or rather, little recognized. The zone where no one with economic assets wants to set foot, where Uchihas condemned by the war or the wives of deceased soldiers would poverty, forced to seek refuge far from the clan’s judgmental people.

“The dead zone” is what Madara used to call it whenever he complained about the leader’s heartlessness. Omegas who had lost their Alphas because of the clan’s constant clashes mostly populated it, leaving them adrift and without their life mates.

The problem was the Uchiha had no regard for that rank, labeling them as baby incubators, seed vessels, and consolation holes.

The pair of eldest brothers walk with impunity, as desperate, in heat Omegas throw themselves upon them, begging to be taken. They both laugh disdainfully, slapping and throwing the women to the ground as if they were rag dolls.

Izuna covers his eyes with both hands, looking solely at the ground to know when to lift his barefoot and step over someone’s body. It is a dark scene that marks the boy’s mind with fire, but nothing compared to what his father has prepared.

The Alphas take him to a crumbling building, where they knock on a red door with a special code. A large, tall, female opens it, staring with a bitter hate-filled expression. Both grab the boy by the collar of his robe and throw him into the woman’s arms while smirking.

“Get him ready. Father said we could keep it as a toy if it turned out to be worthy.”

The woman doesn’t answer, simply closes the door noisily, and leaves Izuna’s older brothers on the other side. She takes him by the wrist and leads the way roughly down a dark corridor until she reaches a room.

Silent tears fall from his eyes, while he only thinks of Madara’s arms around him, soothing. All is fine because Aniki is here. Harsh, rough hands raspy from combat, delicate just for him.

But there is no Aniki here, no tenderness, just a woman preparing some weird tea, smelling too strange and tasting too bad to be normal. She forces the boy to swallow it in a single sip, pushing the glass over his lips and coercing him to gulp while squeezing his nose shut so he can’t breathe or avoid the liquid.

No matter how hard Izuna kicks and whines, she’s too big for him to escape. He never set foot on the battlefield, Tajima always forbade it, he could not allow the reason for his deepest dishonor to show face in front of his enemies.

The Omega grew weak and unskilled in defense, making him admire even more his precious Aniki. The one who, like the entire Uchiha clan, could turn into a fearsome and gigantic red-eyed black wolf. Alphas’ qualities were extraordinary, and Izuna admits feeling envious of it.

If he could become a terrifying wolf, he would rip that woman’s head off and get out of there, escape, maybe even kill Tajima. But no, all he can do is wag his thin feline tail angrily and hide his ears in disgust, hoping for some mercy.

“This will take a few minutes, maybe 10 or more, when you feel the effects scream for help.”

“He-e…”

“Foolish boy, once your heat starts, I’ll bring over your initial client.”

That couldn’t be right. No Omega has their first heat until the age of 15, and Izuna is simply nine. How is that possible? The feeling of panic spreads through his stomach as his fists clench tightly in his palms, his long fingernails digging into his skin.

The drink, the tea.

She had forcibly induced his first heat at a totally inappropriate age.

#uchiha izuna #izuna uchiha #madara uchiha #uchiha madara #izuna #madara #abo au #alpha omega #uchiha clan #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto imagines

12 notes · View notes

kendrixtermina · 6 years ago

Note

Since you seem to enjoy analyzing stories I was wondering if you have any advice on what to do when your mind narrows in on critical aspects? I usually really enjoy analyzing media but recently I found that my mind tends to hyper-focus on aspects that I don't like even when I'm actively trying to ignore it and focus on what I do like. So I was just curious if you have tips for dealing with it and/or getting out of this mindset. Thanks and I apologize if this isn't the right blog for this!

Ugh. This is a big question and I’m not sure I’m qualified or immune to complaining. But I consider myself honored, I’ll try my best to answer it.

There’s three things you can do here

a) Try to find out where it’s coming from.

Cross-examine yourself active listening wise. Your reactions can generally come from two places: What you’re actually looking at, or yourself.

Is everything annoying you as of late because you are angry? Are you having a bad week because of something in your private life? Are you sensitive because some larger tendency in RL/society is pissing you off? Is it even anger? What are you feeling and why? Does it really have anything to do with this movie etc?

Or is it something about the work itself? Does it remind you of something that happened to you? Does your displeasure come from a value that is important to you or a pattern that you believe to be a bad influence on society.

Really try to put into words what it is that makes you feel this way while keeping in mind that your feelings, your reaction to the work and the work itself are separate entities.

I’d remain open to the possibility that you have a legitimate gripe here. If you personally can’t enjoy a work either because a subjective factor or an objective flaw that’s a dealbreaker for you, you shouldn’t force yourself to like it because your friends do or because it didn’t do anything “unforgiveable”. Deciding that it’s not your cup of tea needn’t be a moral judgement on everyone who made the work or everyone who likes it.

On the other hand you might find it easier to enjoy it if you acknowledge the flaw and put it into definite words, tell your inner critic that you heard them and then continue. If you try not to think about something you automatically end up thinking about it.

b) Keep in mind that there are many valid stories and that all of them are worth telling

A lot happens on this green earth. Consider the following cases:

A1: A small, lithe person is mistreated by a big strong one

A2: A small, lithe person mistreats a big strong one and pretends to be the victim appealing to their small ness

B1: An eccentric kid is labeled as disordered just for being eccentric and because the teachers don’t want to deal with her

B2: A serious-minded kid has an actual anxiety disorder and experiences stigma because of it and people not understanding that it’s real and debilitating

C1: There is a socially awkward, nerdy character. She is eventually revealed as autistic and her friends accept her just as she is.

C2: There is a socially awkward, nerdy character. She comes out as aroace and all her friends support her. It is emphasized that she is actually as affectionate as everyone else and preconceptions to the contrary were just bigoted misunderstandings.

C3: There is a socially awkward, nerdy character. She finds a significant other who loves her even though she is socially awkward, and her love leads her to discover more communicative passionate sides to her personality.

Clearly, for each of these scenarios, there are going to be people who relate to some but not to others. If you’ve got an anxiety disorder you’re going to relate to the story with the anxiety disorder, and if you were mis-labeled by incompetent teachers you’re gonna relate to that. But both actually happen in real life. B1 is me B2 is one of my sisters. You might even say they’re caused by some of the same intolerant attitudes.

So ask yourself: Is any of these intended as a “fuck you” to the people who would rather have the other ones? If in one particular story the character was mistakenly labeled by incompetent teachers and never had a real disorder, it it saying that no one has real disorders? If the small and lithe character turns out to be the victim, does it mean that big and strong characters are never victims? No of course not.

- You can criticize it if the story outright makes such statements and it is vital to do so (see next paragraph), but if the point in the story is just that this particular character was wrongly labeled, or this particular small character was the victim, then it’s simply telling a different story, not at all making a point about whether real disorders or big strong victims exist.

What’s cathartic or empowering or meaningful to people is as different as people themselves. There’s a good chance that there won’t be an exact match between you or any given authors.

Often the problem is not the stories that are there, but the ones that are missing. It’s not per se bad to have “girl gets rescued by prince” stories, it’s only bad if they’re the ONLY stories. The solution is more stories.

Obviously there are exceptions to that like stuff that outright includes negative stereotypes or unquestioned bad behavior treated as good,

c) Focus on constructivity and context instead of loaded labels

The above was more about perceived flaws this one is about real indisputable flaws. Flaws that are important to point out.

The number one goal here, if you really care about stopping harm and not anyones egos, should be to get people to stop doing it.

Sometimes in extreme cases making someone out to be a bad person and warning of them is exactly how you stop harm, but often time its not and getting obsessed with “punishing bad people” while losing sight of “preventing harm” does zero to help the people actually being harmed. Or worse than zero, if you associate a worthy cause with frivolous squabbles.

Some people just don’t care and will never change their ways but you won’t ever convince those. You need to convince everyone else. All the ones who are maybe just ignorant and didn’t know better, or never had to form an opinion about this. Even if the maker themselves won’t change opinion, you can sway those.

Imagine a bigoted religious person. how are you more likely to convince them? Get them to stop being religious, which is probably a part of their identity? Or try and argue that equality is, in fact, compatible with their religion? If you step on people’s egoes they will be attacked and block/dismiss all you have to say. Not only will they not change, they’ll dig in their heels. In the worst case, they’ll now start thinking that your Reasonable Position is incompatible with their identity.

Again some people are determined to have their egoes stepped on and will be insulted no matter what, but those are not the target.

This isn’t about appeasing assholes, it’s about creating change, because that will stop harm. So instead of throwing negatively changed emotional labels at people (which activates the ego and the emotions) try talking about cause and effect and consequences, to talk to their reason. Explain how the consequences happen.

For similar reasons, try to think of solutions. You don’t want to destroy the work, you want to make it a better work that more people can enjoy without being distracted by unnecessary flaws.

Avoid:

“X is a [negative label] who [buzzword] a [sympathy-drawing label]!!! Why are [entire social group that contains people you want to convince] like this?!”

Instead:

“I know that this was probably supposed to express [intention], but it comes off like [unfortunate implication] and given [harmful social tendency] it might have been better to do [alternate redendition] “

Example #1: “The intention in scenes like in the original Blade Runner, several James Bond Movies or in the Original Star Wards trilogy where the original male characters was probably that these protagonists being suave guys know that the girls really want them to screw/kiss them. The authors know this because they created the characters, but IRL you cannot actually read anyone’s mind and what often happens IRL is that person A proceeds without really making sure that the other person is comfortable, and then they freeze up in fear though they don’t want to have intercourse, and ends up horribly traumatized. There’s not enough general knowledge about the “freeze” part of “fight-flight or freeze”, or good consent education and it would be irresponsible to make this worse.

All it would literally take to fix it is to have the girls explicitly show that they want to kiss/have sex.”

Example #2: “A lot of horror fiction slaps the names of real diagnosable conditions on what are basically violent monster villains. It’s only natural to wonder what’s going on in the minds of killers and monsters and try to want to contextualize this, but it is vital to keep in mind that there is currently a lot of stigma against people with mental ilnesses, and that depictions like this can make it worse and make it hard for actual real-life people to get jobs and housing.

If you’re going to use the names of real-life diagnosable conditions you should be committed to researching them and writing the characters realistically while being mindful of the stigma and the social impact that wrong renditions would have and not make a freakshow out of it.

Alternatively, if you just want to do an unrealistic horror movie killer, don’t use the names of real conditions that real people have.”

d) Refresh Button.

Especially because you’re saying that this isn’t your default mode and that it feels like some recent thing that you don’t really want.

- take a break, busy your mind with something else, give the subconscious time toprocess and old perceptions time to settle. Then come back to it.

- Try sort of looking at it from a new perspective, to deconstruct it from the bottom. What dothing really mean? What are we really told about the characters and events? Try processing it all new from the ground up without “common widom”

- Things that aren’t explained on screen aren’t necessarily plot holes. There’s a difference between a contradiction, something that can’t fit together, and something that can fit together you just don’t know how. Deduce. Speculate. This is where your logic and imagination come in.

- Maybe watch a new person react to it for all new input like a reaction vid on youtube

e) Outside Data.

Same as above - People are basically really sophisticated Boltzmann machines/ statistical learning algorithms. I#m the least to want to admit that but to a degree we’re all influenced by the Data we take in.

If you’re surrounded by a lot of material and soucres that pick apart every little thing in media, it’s natural that it would arise as a thought.

If you don’t really want that in your life, filter it out.

I hope this was of some sort of use. But I stress again that I’m no kind of authority on any such things and that many others might pick this apart as blasphemy.

2 notes · View notes