#like look i hate brendon urie as much as the next guy but .

[symptomsoflettinggo]

saw someone trying to say that the song transition between the end and dead is better than the transition between but it's better if you do and i write sins not tragedies and well . what's it feel like to be so so brainwashed and incorrect

[popmusic101]

Flashback: Me - Taylor Swift feat. Brendon Urie

6th May 2024

The charts have returned to a slightly more normal configuration after the influx of almost every song on Taylor Swift's new album last week.

This week, Hozier is back at #1 and there's only three Swift songs still in the top ten, which isn't doing much to disprove my theory that Swift's current music mostly doesn't have legs. I suspect next week we'll see only 'Fortnight' still in the top ten. Swift creates a spectacle with her album drops - everyone streams them and they take over the charts - but where's the longevity? Interestingly though 'Cruel Summer' which is sitting at #39 (and peaked at #3) has been in the charts for a total of 47 weeks! That's super impressive and proves that when Swift bothers to put out a good song, audiences do keep coming back to it, unlike the apparent one-and-done streaming success of Tortured Poets...

Anyway, since Hozier's #1 again, we'll flashback five years to 2019. We've already covered 'Old Town Road' and 'Bad Guy' which were the #1 and #2 respectively, so instead we'll look at the #3 which, fittingly enough, is Taylor Swift's 'Me!'

Look, despite how it may come across I'm not a Swift hater (although I'm certainly a little tired of her ubiquitousness at the moment). She's certainly capable of writing good and even great music, like the aforementioned 'Cruel Summer', when she's working with good collaborators. However, this is not one of those cases.

Working alongside Brendon Urie (of Panic at the Disco) and Joel Little (of NZ band Goodnight Nurse) on 'Me!', Swift has created an absolute unappealing mess of a song. 'Me!' is a bad song and I hate it. The lyrics are insipid and eye-roll worthy, and the attempts at upbeat positivity and tongue-in-cheek self-awareness do not land at all. The "hey kids, spelling is fun!" line rightfully got made fun of and was quickly stripped from the streaming versions of the song.

Proving my earlier point, I think, 'Me!' charted at #3 and then fell out of the charts fairly quickly from there, lasting only seven weeks. Compare that to Swift's genuinely good songs like 'Shake It Off', 'I Knew You Were Trouble', or 'Anti-Hero' which all lasted over 25 weeks in the charts, and we see again the same pattern of Swift's bad songs charting solely because of her popularity but not actually having the legs to stay in the charts.

As for Brendon Urie, he's always had a corny, over-the-top side but with his work in Panic At The Disco! it was channelled into a fun sort of bombast. Here though, he and Swift bring out the worst in each other. The music video in particular shows two people who seem to think we're all having just as much deranged fun as they are. But we're not.

You can't say they didn't give it their all though!

[negasonicimagines]

Tell Me I'm Not Funny

Request: darkandmysteriousbutheartofgold!ellie and wholesomeanddoesn'tunderstandwhyelliedoesn'tlikeher!reader where they're both part of the friend group but ellie just thinks reader is straight and messing with her pls

Notes: I don’t usually write MCU!Peter, so if he comes up in any future fics (like as the reader’s stepdad 👀 I’ve loved spideypool longer than I’ve loved Negasonic) you can safely assume it’s Andrew Garfield. But, for this time, this is MCU!Peter. Everyone in the friend group is 18-20, just to be clear.

This really isn't my best work, but it's a fun little slice of life piece. A lot of my ideas are pretty cinematic, I can picture them in my head but sometimes those pictures don't really translate into words. I may revisit this one day.

Warnings: D-slur (reclaimed by Ellie in one line), allusions to prior assault (an unwanted kiss that could've been more had another character not stepped in), and that's about it. Oh, and a little swearing, but this is an imagine for a character from Deadpool. If you can't handle swearing, you're on the wrong blog.

Synopsis: You’re into Ellie, but she’s with your good friend Peter. She treats you like you don’t even exist, and in the few instances she does acknowledge you, it’s usually just to make some sarcastic remark. You’re head-over-heels, though, and decide to deal with your unrequited love by writing her a song she’ll never hear.

“Fuck, that movie was terrible,” Michelle groans. “I’m just glad it was a matinee show and we didn’t have to pay as much to see it.”

“The special effects were good, but can’t Disney just leave stuff alone?” Peter agrees.

“Next thing you know they’ll be making a live action Toy Story, as if the original wasn’t traumatizing enough. I don’t want to imagine Watermelon as a sentient being. She’s seen some shit,” you snicker.

“Who’s Watermelon?” Ellie asks with a dark chuckle, and you clam up. How had you forgotten she was here?

“Oh, uh, nobody.”

“Don’t tell me you still sleep with a stuffed animal,” she snarks. “You really do need to grow up.”

“Don’t be mean, Ellie,” Peter protests.

“Watermelon is cute, everybody likes cute things!” Yukio adds.

“I think a live-action Toy Story could be cool,” Ned says. “It’d look really good if they did stop-motion animation.”

“Oh, you’re right!” you chirp. “It’d be quite the undertaking, but it would look badass.”

“I think you’re using that term a little loosely,” Ellie grumbles, and you have to stop yourself from frowning, instead you laugh it off. Why does she always pick on you? Sure, she’s got a witty remark for everybody, but she’s way harder on you. It hurts, she really is so gorgeous and funny and mysterious and everything you want in a woman, but she acts like she can’t stand you.

Ellie and Peter head off together, Peter still hasn’t gotten around to getting his license and Ellie seems happy to give him a ride. You really don’t stand a chance.

You and the others pile up in MJ’s SUV for some late-night band practice.

“I don’t know if I can do it,” you admit to Yukio in the furthest row back.

“You can,” she insists. “You’re a way better singer than Lola, anyways.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give her the wrong impression, I-”

“For the millionth time, Y/N, you didn’t. If she hadn’t left the band, we would’ve kicked her out. Not just for cheating on me, but for hurting you.”

“I guess,” you sigh. “Why can’t you sing instead?”

“Because I’m flat.”

“Yukio, breast size doesn’t have anything to do with singing ability, you’ve just gotta practice,” you joke.

“Shut up!” she giggles, punching you in the arm. “Plus, when you sing, the songs are being sung as they were written. We’re getting the real feelings.”

“Speaking of… I have something new I’m thinking about sharing tonight. Do you mind if I text you the demo?”

“Ooh, a first look! Hell yes!”

You text her the audio file and she puts in a wireless earbud, nodding along. Her smile gets wider and wider as she listens, and when she’s done, her assessment shocks you.

“Oh my gosh. You’re into Ellie.”

“What?!” you squeak. “No way!”

“You are! But, uh-”

“Don’t even say it. I know I don’t have a chance in hell. She only tolerates me for the sake of you and Peter.” Despite the gloominess of your tone, Yukio gets a mischievous glint in her eye, it confuses you. But, that’s just Yukio. Her thoughts are all over the place; she and Ellie balance each other out that way. They dated a couple of years ago, but it didn’t work out. They decided they were better off as friends.

“Screw that other song, we’re using this as the lead single. Everybody’s gonna love it, do you have the sheet music?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s in my bag.”

“Awesome.” Yukio’s grinning like she’s won something. Is the song that good? “We’ll have to practice this one a lot, we definitely need to have it ready by the concert this Friday.”

Right. Liz’s 19th birthday party. Apparently Peter had convinced her to let the band play, it’d be cheaper than hiring a more established artist.

“Our first paying gig? I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you remind her. She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We’re mostly gonna be playing covers of Liz’s favorite songs, and she only has so many. We’ve gotta beef up the setlist with originals, and this is perfect! Has that pop-y fun vibe, it’ll fit right in.”

“Yeah, but if it’s that obvious how I feel about her after one listen-”

“Only because I already had a hunch after Daft Pretty Boys,” Yukio clarifies cheerily, and you sigh.

“Fair enough.”

The gang makes it to Michelle’s house, travelling down to the side door and going into the basement from there. MJ’s parents have encouraged her creativity from day one, and were ecstatic when the band was formed. You speculate that they’re mostly happy that she’s made friends. Writing and photography can be lonely hobbies.

“Y/N has something new for us!” Yukio chirps.

“That fast?” Ned’s surprised as you hand him the sheet music. He skims it. “Holy shit, this is a wicked solo! Thanks, Y/N!”

“Well, I’m hoping highlighting everybody else’s talent will disguise my lack thereof,” you chuckle.

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve all heard you sing backup,” MJ says. “You’re Ryan Ross, she’s Brendon Urie. I’m just glad we booted her out before she decided she was gonna be the only pangolin in The Pangolins.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“Let’s try it,” Michelle continues, and everybody agrees. After a sound check and a few runs of the song, it’s still clumsy, especially on your part. You’re not really used to playing and singing at the same time, outside of backup vocals, which require far less focus.

“I suck,” you mumble, but it happens to be into the microphone.

“You don’t!” Ned insists.

“With that attitude, we’re not going anywhere,” Yukio says. You hate it when she gets to the tough love stage of her support. You wish she’d stay in the shallow reassurances stage, it’s easier to brush off. “You wouldn’t be the lead singer if we all thought you sucked. We would’ve just put an ad in the paper. You’re awesome, get over it!”

You sigh.

“Fine. Thank you.”

“Say it,” she insists.

“I’m awesome,” you huff, it’s hard not to smile when Yukio tries to look serious.

“Damn straight,” Yukio says. “Or, I guess not, considering that was about Ellie.”

“Yukio!” you squeal.

“That’s about Ellie?!” Ned exclaims.

“Obviously,” MJ scoffs, fiddling with her tuners.

“Is it that obvious?!” You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Ellie probably knows exactly how you feel, maybe that’s why she dislikes you so much. Her boyfriend’s stupid friend has a crush.

“Wait, but at the beginning…” Ned trails off, before laughing. “Oh my gosh, I get it.”

“Get what? Oh… Y/N, have I ever told you how much I love you?” MJ asks.

“I- I love you, too?” You’re puzzled by their words, but you’ve got enough on your plate.

“Let’s go ahead and practice some of Liz’s favorites while we’re here,” Yukio suggests. “It’s a pretty big set list.”

You practice until dinner, getting a pizza and deciding to make a night of it since it was a little late for Michelle to be dropping you all off at your assorted residences.

You all sleep on a pallet in the basement, and despite your worries, you manage to get some rest.

Over the next few days, The Pangolins practice at every free moment, until it’s finally time for the party.

“So, just pictures of everything?” Oh, shit. She’s not supposed to be here. How are you supposed to sing that song with her here?

“Yeah! I know with how many people are coming, I’m probably not going to get as much time as I want with everyone, so pictures will be a good way to remember the night.”

“Why not just invite less people?” Ellie wonders.

“I want all my friends to be here,” Liz explains. “How’s the sound check going, Y/N?”

“It’s going great,” you say into the microphone, demonstrating the quality and volume with a smile. “Thanks for letting us play here tonight.”

“Well, Peter said you guys are great. Are you really gonna debut your best song so far tonight?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter, stepping away from the microphone. “Maybe not.”

“What? Oh, come on, please, it’ll make the night even more special! You’re playing covers of all my old favorites, sing me my new favorite!” Liz presses, but she’s not being demanding or bratty, she seems genuinely excited.

“If the birthday girl says so, who am I to say no?” you concede. Hopefully Ellie will be too distracted taking pictures. “You have way too much faith in me.”

“If you don’t quit with the self-deprecation, I’m gonna duct tape your mouth shut,” MJ interjects.

“But, Daddy, how will I say my safe word?” you tease, giggling at your own joke with the rest of the group. Yukio’s laugh seems the loudest. Ellie glares.

“We should practice a song!” Ned suggests.

“Ooh, a private show!” Liz seems excited.

“Any requests?” you ask her. Ellie’s resting scowl intensifies. If she’s more pissed off the more you open your mouth, you’re not sure how she’s gonna survive a night of you singing without going nuclear.

“Oh, oh, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, please?”

“You’ve got it,” you agree.

The song goes smoothly.

“What happened to the old singer?” Ellie asks, clearly unimpressed.

“You didn’t tell her?” you ask Yukio, grateful for the excuse to turn away from the sharp-tongued girl you adore.

“Didn’t want her to get the wrong impression,” Yukio explains. “She already makes enough rude comments towards you.” Yukio leans over her drum kit to give Ellie a pointed look.

“Oh, wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that. You, uh, sound good, Y/N.”

You can’t help but whip your head back to look at her with a flabbergasted expression.

“What?! It’s true,” Ellie defends herself.

“Uh, yeah, but you just said something nice. About me. Liz, do you mind checking her for a fever?”

Liz obliges for the sake of going along with the joke before quickly withdrawing her hand.

“Jeez! I know you were kidding, but she’s burning up,” Liz declares.

“My internal temperature is higher due to my mutation,” Ellie quickly explains, looking a bit bashful. “Besides, I say nice shit about Y/N all the time.”

“No, you don’t,” the whole band says in unison, including you.

“Well, clearly I shouldn’t if everyone’s gonna make a big fucking deal about it,” she retorts, rolling her eyes. “I’m gonna go get some pictures of the decorations before there’s a bunch of fucking people here to block them.”

She stomps off in her heavy boots, and The Pangolins get back to work, putting on the final touches and making sure all the blocking looks right.

Soon enough, guests start flooding in, and Liz zips around to greet them, eventually meeting up with Peter and keeping him with her. He and Liz eventually pull Ellie away from her picture-taking, confident she’s done enough and needs to just relax and enjoy the party.

So much for distracting herself with work, she thinks.

They sit on the couch and eat, the dining room was monopolized by The Pangolins due to its elevation and space.

Ellie’s mesmerized by the way your fingers move until she hears Peter talking to Liz. They really are a cute couple.

“You really do need to hang out with us. Yukio told me Y/N thinks Ellie and I are a thing,” he says.

“Gross, you’re like my annoying little brother,” Ellie remarks.

“And you’re like my bitchy older sister,” Peter retorts with a shit-eating grin.

“Both of you, quiet! They’re about to play the new song. You’re in for a real treat, Ellie.”

“What does it have to do with me?”

Liz gives Peter a confused and slightly irritated look.

“I haven’t said anything to her, I didn’t know how,�� Peter squeaks, blushing a little at the look in his girlfriend’s eyes.

“Explain, quickly,” Ellie demands.

But, then you start to sing again.

“Y/N-” Peter starts.

“Shut up.”

“But you asked-”

“I said, shut up,” Ellie insists.

“You know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend. I seem to have this effect on women, and your friends aren't as goofy as I am. I try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying. I nod my head when you make a point, oh oh…

“Kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed! Whisper that your heart shows all I want is you, yeah, you… Hold me, hold me I'm your bunny! Tell me I'm not funny, tell me I’m legit! ‘Cause I feel weak, in your hands and your feet… A precious end, I’ll never feel your touch…”

Ellie continues to listen to the song, all expression drained from her face. All the yearning in the words and your voice, all you want is…

Ellie looks at Peter, who’s looking at her with a triumphant smile.

“I told you.”

Ellie feels like she’s about to faint. She notices you’re talking to Liz— when did she leave? —your hand over your mic. Despite the knowledge that Liz is taken, Ellie gets jealous. You look so happy to be talking to Liz, to just about any girl you talk to.

She wishes you’d smile at her that way.

You nod at whatever Liz said, and the band starts packing away their instruments. Liz sets up her phone on some Bluetooth speakers, and songs that sounded so much better when you were singing them start to play.

No! Ellie internally protests. Sing for me again, please, sing that stupid song about how you think I don’t like you.

Yukio’s dragging you somewhere. Gosh, Ellie wishes it was her holding your hand.

Suddenly, though, you and Yukio are approaching her. She knows what she has to do.

“So, what’d you think of our- Eek! Finally!”

Ellie parts from the kiss to tell her to fuck off and not ruin the moment before kissing you again.

“Holy fucking shit,” you breathe. “Uh, I thought you were-“

“Dating Peter?! Seriously?! Do I need to write ‘dyke’ on my fucking forehead? I practically already have with the way I dress and act and-”

“I, uh, I try not to make assumptions,” you mumble, fingers touching your lips.

“I’m, uh, sorry for not asking.”

“No, it’s- It was good. I’ve wanted you to do that for a while. It’s just that that was the first time somebody’s kissed me, since, uh…” Your eyes dart to Yukio, who’s ruffling Ned’s hair and laughing.

“Yukio?!” Orange flickers in Ellie’s eyes for a moment, but she keeps it under control.

“No, no, of course not, uh… The old singer, Lola. She and Yukio were dating, but apparently I was the one she really had her sights on, and… She was entitled. Thought that because she wanted me, I must want her. That wasn’t really the case, I was already pining over you. Didn’t stop her from forcing a few kisses on me and trying to go further. If Yukio hadn't shown up early with cupcakes, I don’t know what would’ve happened.”

“I am such an asshole,” Ellie says softly. “Can I kiss you again? The right way.”

“I’d say what you did before was pretty right, but sure,” you consent.

Her kiss before had been rough, needy, and impatient. Just the way you like it. This, though, this is gentle, soft, and exploratory. You tangle your hands in her hair and kiss her harder. She moans into the kiss before pulling away, bewildered.

“That was…” Ellie trails off, trying to find a positive adjective that won’t sound to frilly or lovesick.

“A mistake, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck, no. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she corrects you. “Just- Didn’t really know how. Even when you were kinda flirting with me at first, I just thought you were messing with me, so I- I am so stupid.”

“So am I,” you scoff. “I thought you were dating Peter.”

“I was spending a lot of time with him, but… I was just using him as an excuse to avoid you so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. And I was asking him for advice. I figured if he could land somebody as far out of his league as Liz, maybe I stood the slightest bit of a chance with you. But I kept fucking it up. I’d just get so nervous, all of my compliments would turn into insults, all of my teasing turned into straight-up cruelty. I don’t know how you actually like me.”

“I’m a little bit of a masochist, I’ll admit,” you tell her. “I’m really glad you don’t hate me.”

“I’m really glad you don’t hate me,” Ellie replies, but she can’t help but think that what she‘s really saying is ‘I love you, too.’

She takes your hand, and you two rejoin your friends, swept up in a group hug. They wanted this to happen almost as much as you two did.

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Bodyguard IV: Vegas Lights (Chapter Seven) (B. Urie x Reader)

"WE NEED TO RECONVENE UPSTAIRS. COME ON."

Brendon's words echoed in your head, yet failed to properly sink in. Your feet moved on their own accord, instinctively following in the steps of the agent ahead of you. The hotel's various entertainment areas and their accents faded into a swirl of blurred colours and patterns; you shut your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose in hopes that it would recalibrate your vision.

It might have been all those tequila shots you'd taken with Ambrose, or the exceptional kiss you'd received a few moments earlier, but you were fairly certain that it was Brendon and his mesmerising, unnecessarily flirtatious performance that was responsible for your current state of disorientation.

A frown crept its way onto your face as you played back the last fifteen minutes in your mind – specifically, the parts where your bodyguard had gotten a bit too up close and personal with the hotel's female guests.

You were still following Brendon's lead, however your stride had slowed down enough so as to allow a couple feet of distance between the two of you. Sensing the change in proximity, the agent halted his movements and spun around to address you.

"Why the frown?"

Shaking your head, you avoided eye contact. "Just... thinking about your little... show."

His left eyebrow arched and there was a smirk playing on his lips. "You didn't like it?" he queried, feigning hurt, "It was for you."

Snapping your head back to look at him, you furrowed your brows and scoffed, stretching your arm out to gesture at the music lounge. "You sang to every girlin there."

"Yeah." He walked forward to minimize the distance between you and whispered lowly. "But where'd I end, though?"

With the intention of delivering a clever retort, you immediately opened your mouth to respond. Sadly for you, you couldn't think of a single thing to say in return, and instead resigned yourself to clicking your tongue at him irritatedly.

Satisfied with his little win, the brooding agent straightened himself up and smoothed his jacket. "Exactly. Besides..."

He started making his way to the elevator and you followed suit, leaning in slightly to ensure that you heard everything he was about to say.

"...not liked I danced with them. Unlike some people."

His voiced dropped to a low hum for that last sentence, but you caught it nontheless. You caught it, and you once again stopped dead in your tracks.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

It was abundantly clear that his quip was in reference to the whole "went-out-to-a-karaoke-bar-and-let-Aaron-Ross-serenade-you" thing, and honestly, you were insanely annoyed that he had brought it up.

After all, pretending to be dead and disappearing for eleven months was far worse.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you scoffed, clutching at your chest and widening your eyes, "I wasn't aware that dancing is a crime."

"It isn't," he shook his head, then tilted it to the side and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Unless you do it without me."

"Oh, is that so?" you mumbled, skewing your face mockingly as you proceeded to overtake the agent in heading for the elevator. "Well maybe, if you had beenthere..."

Holding up his hands in a silent plea for you to stop talking, Brendon resumed his stride and sidled up next to you. Now that he was close enough to do so, he spoke into your ear.

"I don't intend on ever making that mistake again, believe me."

The two of you stepped into the elevator, standing shoulder-to-shoulder after pressing the button for your floor.

"I knew you sang," you scoffed, "You tried to deny it all those times, but I knew."

"Obviously. I literally sang you back to sleep once. What did you think that was, sweetheart? A dream?"

The elevator doors opened with a ding and seconds later, Brendon slipped out and down the hallway, leaving you to gawk after him.

"You literally said- UGH!"

✧✧✧

Minutes later. Your and Brendon's hotel suite.

"...so to summarise," Rollins made a circle with his hands, signifying that his recount of the last hour was coming to a pinnacle, "the lead was a bust and we just wasted a perfectly good distraction technique on nothing."

From the other side of the suite, over by the bar cart, Ambrose piped up. "On the bright side, we did bust a drug operation." Drink in hand, the Hound nudged Brendon with his elbow and leaned in to mutter some words. "I swiped a couple grams, if you wanna have a party later."

Already annoyed due to the fact that no one had managed to get anywhere with this case, Brendon clenched his jaw and exhaled fumingly at the Lunatic's immaturity. Turning his head sharply, he delivered a glare so deadly that it could be felt all throughout the suite.

Stepping back, Ambrose held up his free hand in a show of surrender, raising his brows. "Kidding. Jesus, lighten up a bit."

"I'll lighten up when we finally find a lead that's an actual fucking lead," the agent growled, grabbing Ambrose's drink out of his hand and downing it before rubbing his hands over his face.

"That was the closest thing we've had," Reigns reminded everyone, shaking his head in disdain, "I can't believe weof all people are in a rut."

Sick of the heavy, pessimistic aura in the room, you stood up and clapped your hands together once. Making sure that you looked each man in the eye, you called them down.

"We are not in a rut. We've been in Vegas for all of what, three days? Not all missions are walks in the park – you guys of all people should know that."

You were met with silence and four downcast gazes, and so you continued.

"Today was a particularly draining one; we're all tired, not thinking clearly, and some of us are still slightly inebriated so," you made your way over to the bathroom and placed on hand on the doorframe as you finished addressing your teammates, "let's all just call it a night, get some rest and then discuss our next move in the morning, okay? Okay. Wonderful. Now get out of my room, I need to take a shower."

A resounding slam echoed around the room as you emphasised your point by shutting the bathroom door. The lock clicked and taking that as their final cue, the four agents shifted from their respective spots around the suite and headed for the exit.

Given that there was twenty feet and a thick plastered wall seperating you and your teammates, it wasn't at all possible for you to overhear any conversation that arose between them. Nevertheless, Brendon waited to hear the water spouting from the shower head before he started speaking.

"Since this case is clearly going nowhere slowly..." Brendon stopped in front of the door, running a hand through his hair before placing both hands on his hips. The Hounds ceased their steps and listened intently. "I'm gonna call Weekes. In the meantime, I want you guys to keep looking for Mason."

Ambrose made no effort to hide his disdain over the request, letting his body go limp as he expelled a throaty groan.

"Big brother duty again? Dude, we told you that he's dead."

Brendon responded with an icy glare. "You also told me that the kidnappers were operating from an underground lair here in the casino. So forgive me if I'm a bit untrusting of your sources and their intel."

"Fair enough."

Always the rational one, Rollins nodded his head and gave Brendon a firm pat on the back as reassurance.

"We'll handle it. Let us know what Weekes says."

Nodding, the brooding agent opened the door to allow his colleagues to leave, each of them mumbling goodnights as they did so. He locked the door, making sure that it was properly secure before moving off to grab another drink from the bar cart.

The pattering of water against shower tiles continued to filter through from the bathroom and concluding that you'd most likely still be in there for a while, Brendon decided it'd be best if he called HQ then.

He picked up the suit jacket strewn across a chair in the corner of the room and ruffled through the inside pockets in search of his phone. Once he found it, he walked over to the compact dining area, i.e. the most secluded part of the suite and tapped the screen a couple times to ring Dallon.

Setting it down on the small table, Brendon tooks sips of his whiskey as he waited for the techie to answer. There was complete silence in the suite, save for the distant pattering of the water from the shower and the trill of the phone; the sounds fell in and out of sync with one another, giving the agent something to listen to until the cheery voice of his comrade – accompanied by his hologram – pierced through the air.  

"Hey, handsome! I was wondering when you'd call!"

Just barely managing to fight back a chuckle and a smile, Brendon cocked his head up in greeting.

"Hey, Weekes. Listen, everything has pretty much gone to shit over here. We've got no leads, no intel, nothing. So..."

It took a second for the penny to drop but once the techie fully caught on to what his brooding counterpart was insinuating, he dropped the Scooby-Doo mug he'd had in his hand. The broken pieces of ceramic and milky coffee painted the linoleum floor of the tech room in an unappealing mixture of browns and blues.

Scooting as close to his desk as the roller chair would allow, Dallon leaned in closer still as he readjusted the glasses in front of his wide eyes. Eyes that were sparkling with excitement and a hint of mischief.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" He was practically squealing, forcing Brendon to recoil and shut his eyes. "We're gonna do the-"

"Yes." The agent cut his colleague off, partly out of fear that he'd overspeak and say something he shouldn't and partly because he was still squealing. "I hate to say it but... we're in a rut, and this might be our only option."

Dallon's hologram cheered triumphantly. Brendon winced. The techie was far too invested in this, and that unsettled him a great deal. Especially since it was purely for the sake of the mission, and not for the reason Dallon was not-so-secretly vouching for.

"So," Brendon cleared his throat, tossing a quick glance over in the direction of the bedroom to make sure that you weren't out yet; you weren't, and he looked back to the hologram, "Can you get that suitcase here by morning?"

"How do you know me, bro?" Dallon scoffed, then leaned back in his chair and cracked his knuckles, "Already on its way."

✧✧✧

The next morning.

The tiny crack in the hotel's curtains allowed for rays of morning light to filter into the bedroom, illuminating the space in a soft glow. Your eyelids rose with ease, grateful to finally reopen after a good night's sleep. Stretching out your limbs, you shook off the remnants of your slumber.

You had gone to bed right after your shower the previous night, calling out a goodnight to Brendon as you crawled beneath the covers. A low mumble was all you'd received in response. He was hunched over his phone, busy with what was undoubtedly mission-related things; you assumed he'd come to bed as soon as he finished whatever it was he needed to do.

Looking over at the space next to you, a frown found its way onto your face. The bed looked completely untouched, not a crinkle in the bedding nor a dent in the pillow. Your fingers trailed along the crisp duvet, hoping that you would somehow feelhim – feel that he had been there – and that it would prove that your thoughts of him chosing to sleep on the sofa rather than next to you were nothing but pesky anxieties.

Sadly, you found no such reassurance.

Heaving a sad sigh, you rolled over to face the other side. Your eyes fixed on the compact bedside table – or more specifically, what was on top of it. The frown you  were wearing slowly morphed into a soft smile as you took in the sight of the still-steaming cup of coffee.

There was your reassurance.

While it was evident that he hadn't slept next to you, the familiar gesture of bringing you your morning coffee was proof enough that he cared.

Pushing yourself up into a sitting position, you called out to him. "Bren?"

Your voice was hoarse from sleep, and you cleared your throat while reaching over to pick up the mug. After taking a sip, you tried again.

"Brendon?"

No response. Knitting your brows together, you peeled back the covers and tentatively slid out of bed, trying not to spill any coffee. The complimentary hotel slippers laid by your feet; you slid them on and started for the living area of the suite.

There was no sign of your bodyguard, however there was a note on the coffee table. Picking it up, you read over the slanted handwriting.

'Needed to run a couple errands. Be back soon.

                                                                     -B'

"Errands?" you muttered, taking another sip of coffee as you reread the note.

It was odd that the usually mission-orientated agent would take time off to do personal things, which led you to conclude that whatever he was doing was somehow tied to the case. It was even more odd, then, that he hadn't informed you of what exactly the errands entailed.

Chalking it up to his lone-wolf, arrogant nature, you dropped the note back onto the coffee table and walked back to the bedroom. You picked up your cellphone from the side table and sat yourself on the edge of the bed, scrolling through your notifications while you slugged down the remainder of your coffee.

Not long after, you were headed for the bathroom to freshen up and get ready for the day. You shut and locked the door out of habit, ensuring your privacy despite the fact that you were alone in the suite. When you emerged from the bathroom a half hour later, though, you realised that that was no longer the case.

You stopped in your tracks when you saw the dress splayed across the made-up bed. Knitting your brows together, you approached the bed with cautious steps and an inquisitive gaze.

Now that you were close enough to properly examine the dress – which was covered in a transparent dress protector to preserve its delicateness – you were quite easily the most confused you had ever been.

"Uh... Brendon?"

"Heads up."

You spun around just in time to catch the airborne object he had tossed across the room. Clutching the bunch of tulle in both hands, you lowered it down to inspect it.

"What's this?" you asked, fondling the material as you tried to make sense of it.

"A veil." His words caused you to freeze, your eyes the only part of you that moved as you looked up at him. He nodded to the item of clothing on the bed. "And that's a dress. Get changed. We have an appointment."

Tilting your head, you gave the agent a skeptical look. "Where?"

"The altar."

"...why?"

"We're getting married."

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

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[ambitionsource]

did you guys ever have voice casts for the characters? like people/singers you think the characters would sound like n all that? if so would you mind sharing them?

This is such an interesting question... admittedly, Es and I hadn’t really thought about it! We especially just think about the actual actors for those who already sing, but we can provide a couple other samples for each person if it intrigues you to know! Let’s see...

FARKLE | Corey actually does sing -- though not often in this version of reality -- but I do believe he has some professional training. We think of this song he’s recorded in particular, which I think is a really good example of how he sounds circa S1 in my head (this song is actually a bop. The YT version cuts out like 20 seconds too early but I found a version on Tumblr last year that was full so now I have it on my phone LMAO let’s go 2015 Corey). Anyway, it’s that pretty stereotypical power tenor vibe. A couple more comparisons I suggest are:

Jonathan Groff -- I think Jonathan Groff is the best comparison I can make. He’s theatrical, he has a pretty impressive range, but he rests pretty comfortably in the natural tenor range. Like he can do Kristoff one minute and King George from Hamilton the next, and I think that is equitable to Farkle’s range. The man key is that he’s a powerful vocalist. I think Farkle’s true center of his voice has a higher resting place than Groff, but it’s close enough. Example track: Bohemian Rhapsody. One of Glee’s best and an amazing display of Groff’s vocal range in one track. Farkle could match this beat for beat, flair for flair.

Chris Colfer -- I think that the flair Chris Colfer brings to a lot of his performances on Glee match well to Farkle’s vocal stylings as well (which is why he’s done a few performances with that version), but to be clear, I think Colfer’s voice is softer / higher than Farkle’s. It’s more about... emotion and inflection here than tone. Example track: Not the Boy Next Door. Farkle did this on the show, so you know we endorse it. This was also the track Esther brought up when I asked for her opinion.

Brendon Urie -- I think that Urie’s range is really akin to Farkle’s. I don’t think Farkle has at all the same kind of flair or inflection that Urie does (and Farkle is obviously more Broadway than radio), but on certain tracks I think it’s pretty cross applicable. Example track: Dying In LA

I’ll continue this under a read more to spare everyone who doesn’t want to read on because clearly this will be lengthy LOL.

RILEY | I have not heard Rowan sing since the thinly attached source material theme song days, so I honestly don’t think of her much as Riley’s voice (though I think she could do it if trained for it). Especially because of all the mains, Riley is one of the ones who is meant to be less trained and unimposing. For me, the most important quality to Riley’s voice is that it’s not overwhelming. It’s beautiful, and leaves an impact when you listen, but it’s never going to be Maya or Zay’s big, brassy vocals. And that’s fine. That’s what makes it unique in the landscape of the show (and why it appeals to Lucas rather than turns him away). A couple more comparisons I suggest are:

Amanda Seyfried -- I admittedly only know Seyfried’s work in the first Mamma Mia film, but she has the right delicate soprano that I envision Riley having. It’s like... a lilting, soft thing that’s enjoyable to listen to but can escalate into strong belting if needed and handle it effectively enough. Example track: Thank You For Music. Literally a perfect track for Riles.

Phillipa Soo -- Another great example of a powerful soprano player. Case in point enough that we’ve had Riley do a Eliza Hamilton song on the show already. Gentle and gorgeous, but sharp and intense when it needs to be. Example track: Burn.

mxmtoon -- First of all, let this be my plug that everyone should listen to mxmtoon. I love her. She has this lovely gentle voice and her instrumentation is so good. Her EP dusk is gorgeous and I cannot recommend it enough. But she is a great non-theater example of what I think Riley’s voice is like. She varies between ukulele and piano, and everything is just really understated and nice. Example track: show and tell.

MAYA | This is easy. I literally don’t have to say like anything. She just is Sab. That’s it. Like Sab is a phenomenal vocalist and she’s brassy and bold and has range and that’s all Maya is. Like literally that’s it LOL. If you need examples, hit her discography, but I’ll specifically highlight “Sue Me,” “Looking At Me,” and “Diamonds Are Forever” aka the Sab songs we’ve had her do on the show.

ZAY | Zay is an interesting one, because I don’t really think he fits any specific category in my head. He kind of defies definition. He definitely has a brassy swing to him that allows him to pull off showstopping numbers (like his Kossal audition with “Ain’t No Way”), but he can pull it back and reshape it to fit breathtaking musical theater renditions (like “Music and the Mirror”) or banging contemporary (think “Consideration” or “Self Control”) in a way that I don’t think Farkle or Maya can. He is the most vocally versatile of the bunch, and that makes his comparisons sort of wide-reaching as well. I’m not really familiar with Amir’s vocal ability outside of rap (so at least we know he can do that), but based purely on what I hear in my imagination, a few comparisons:

Leslie Odom Jr. -- A younger and less polished Odom, to be clear, but this is a big one for me. I think Odom’s vocal strength and range is so impressive, and what really strikes me is how... grounded and resonant his voice is. That’s a big thing for Zay for me -- you never doubt he’ll be able to support his vocals and that they’re strongly rooted. If he ever cracked or ran out of breath, it would be a shock. This is also really tied to Zay because of how much I would kill to see him perform “Wait For It” and how I feel like it’s such a Zay song. But anywho... Example track: Wait For It.

Frank Ocean -- Ocean has such a cool interesting range and does a lot of things with his performances vocally, so that’s why he’s on here in that he also defies definition. I think Zay also considers Ocean a musical inspiration, so it makes sense that he would adopt or emulate some of his style. I feel like he also translates emotion well, which is a key Zay trait too. Example track: Godspeed.

Amber Riley -- Now hear me out here. Obviously, Zay is a baritone and Amber is like a mezzo soprano / alto / what have you, but the reason I’m listing this Glee legend as a comp is because the quality of her performances is so sharp. It’s like, any time Amber performed on the show it was jawdropping. Her vocal runs are insane, the power behind her vocals is awe-inspiring. She captivates you from the first note, and that is why I always think of Zay. That’s how it is when he performs too, especially in moments where he’s trying to sell it (like his Kossal audition). I wouldn’t be giving my authentic comparisons if I didn’t mention this. So there. Example track: And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going (I would sell my soul to see Zay perform this. Please. PLEASE. Maybe I’ll crowdsource with Charlie and we’ll both sell our kidneys).

CHARLIE | Speaking of Charlie, he’s an interesting one, too. I honestly didn’t really... have a concept of how he sounded in my head, but then when I learned that Tanner sings, it was not at all whatever was deep in my head. But I love his voice, so I think I kind of ended up reconfiguring my perception of what Charlie sounds like around that revelation and now I’m still kind of trying to figure out exactly what that sounds like in the context of the show. The thing is, though, I think Charlie also doesn’t really know what his style is (LMAO), so it’s okay that we’re experimenting a little bit. Like in S1, the few times he sang, it was all over the place but mainly radio. Then in S2, he did predominantly musical theater duets. And now in S3, we’ve really just gone all over the map (from punk-rock opera with “Superstar” to bubblegum pop with “Party For One”) and there’s a lot of fun in that. Where Charlie will land, I don’t know yet, but I will share with you all Tanner’s only recorded song at this point and you all can start to orient yourselves from there. But a few other ideas to get the ball rolling:

Norbert Leo Butz -- Now here’s the thing... Charlie doesn’t sound like this LOL. The reason I’m including Butz is because I started writing about Jeremy Jordan and his rendition of “If I Didn’t Believe In You” and Jordan’s rendition is truly just so inferior that I realized no, I really don’t think Charlie sounds like Jeremy Jordan. So then I ended up here, and you know what, here’s the thing. I think an older Charlie would sound like Norbert Leo Butz. Like, give him 10 or so years, and this is where he’ll settle. To a degree at least -- I don’t think he’ll ever go quite as brassy or bold as Butz can lean sometimes, but the way he like... emotes through his vocals feels extremely Charlie, and the range is about right in terms of voice part. Anyway, give him 10 years, and then get to the point with this amazing example track that is one of my favorite musical theater tracks ever even though I hate the character who sings it. Example track: If I Didn’t Believe In You.

Oshima Brothers -- The shape of the O bros vocals don’t quite match how I hear Charlie in my head (they’re a bit too flat), but the essence of their performances resonate with him very strongly. It’s that gentle, soft-spoken acoustic vibe that I think is so core to Charlie’s performing delivery, which is part of why he’s so consistently overlooked even when he proves time and time again that he can bring compelling vocals (i.e. Haverford’s semi-finals setlist). Example track: Cadence.

Harry Styles -- It’s funny to think that if Charlie saw I was comparing him to Harry Styles he would lose his shit, but I want to be very specific about why and under what conditions I’m including him as a comparison (as he’ll show up on another person’s list too). I think Styles specifically works as a comp for Charlie in regards to the general tone and quality of his voice, in particular when it is on a softer acoustic (like “Cherry” or “Sweet Creature”) and when it’s more upbeat (like “Lights Up”). Like I’m not out here being like Charlie is as good as Harry Styles LOL, but I think the core qualities of their voices are similar. Especially when cross-compared with the other examples above along with Tanner’s actual voice. Example track: Sweet Creature.

ISADORA | Isadora is an anomaly of sorts, since she’s that character archetype where they never expected to be a singer but then ended up being talented anyway (Asher is in the same box). I tend to imagine her with a defined alto register, and a slightly huskier, gravelly tone as compared to Maya’s polished, trained vocals and Riley’s gentle, chime-like resonance. So it’s like... gritty, in a way? I have never heard Ceci sing, though I’ve been told she has once upon a time, but I am working basically from scratch in regards to how I imagine her. So without further ado, some comparisons I suggest:

Jorja Smith -- I think Jorja is the most Isa-like track we’ve had her do on the show thus far, to my brain at least. She has this charming edge to her vocals even when they’re on the softer side which is exactly what I envision for her, and I think there’s such a strong definition to when she jumps into her lower register. Whereas with Isa, I think it would be the same, but reaching into her upper notes would be even more of an audible stretch. Example track: Don’t Watch Me Cry.

Dua Lipa -- Another strong alto here, which automatically tracks Isadora for me. Dua especially has that husky quality I was describing. I would recommend all of her Live Acoustic EP to get a sense of what I’m highlighting most as a comparable, but it’s just that like... slight grit, gonna-kick-your-ass alto excellence. It’s so hard to articulate so I hope you get what I’m saying LOL. Example track: Tears Dry On Their Own Acoustic.

Madison Reyes -- I don’t know how many of y’all have watched Julie and the Phantoms yet, but it’s fun. And Madison has a great voice, which made her another good comp for Isadora. Same thing of like that unpolished but compelling belter, slightly gravelly quality. Example track: Wake Up.

LUCAS | Obviously, Lucas doesn’t sing all that often. And when we do give him songs, or roles in songs, most of the time it’s of a variation where he can more talk-sing the words than actually Sing. But he’s not totally exempt, so he deserves a comparison. For me, it’s like... the way Lucas would tell it it’s like he’s the worst singer ever in the history of the universe and you should never hear him, but honestly he’s like. Fine. He’s not great and he would never have gotten into the school for singing, but he’s not terrible. He’s passable. When he tries, it’s charming. I think the biggest key that makes him different from everyone else is he doesn’t have much of a range -- when I pick songs for him, I always try to go for ones that kind of stay within the same octave or register for the entirety so it’s almost like monotone singing, because that’s about what he can handle decently (his performance in 211 being an exception, of course, because it had to be). So, comparing accordingly:

Harry Styles -- I warned you he’d be back again, but this criteria is even more hyper-specific than Charlie. I think Styles is a great comp for Lucas in the very limited tracks where he is not showing off in any capacity and is really just keeping it stripped down and to the point (think “To Be So Lonely”). His cover of “Girl Crush” is another good example of what I mean. It’s basically like the same 4 or 5 notes and very little movement or flash, and his voice kind of takes on a grittier, flatter quality which is what I’m aiming for. Example track: From the Dining Table

That’s really it honestly. He doesn’t perform enough to warrant much else. You get the idea lmao.

ASHER | Although we didn’t expect it back in the days of S1, Asher has certainly jumped up to take spotlight in terms of performing in the last couple of seasons! Ricky (along with Liam) are actual singers and were together in a band for several years, so there’s no doubt they can sing and I think of their voices most often (in particular, I recommend the “Compass” music video, because it’s a good song and allows you to actively see which boy is singing what). But admittedly, Ricky’s handful of solo tracks since FIYM went on hiatus are average at best (and his lyricism... king you need Liam to write your lyrics LMAO), so I don’t usually jump to his music as examples of what I think he -- or Asher -- is actually capable of. So with Ricky’s good vocals as a base, here are some additional comparisons:

Ruel -- Cannot stress this one enough. There’s a reason Asher’s true initial debut was Ruel’s best track (”Younger”). He just has that perfect like... strong tenor with soft edges that feels very teenage twink and very Asher. It’s not quite Diva!Asher flair, but at Asher’s most base vocal style, I think Ruel is the perfect match. Example track: Down For You

Troye Sivan -- Same kind of traits here in terms of like smooth tenor, and in this case it actually is a certified twink singing so the crossover is even more apt. I don’t think Asher is as... electronic as Troye’s production often is, but the general range of his voice is close enough to be considered a match. Example track: 10/10

DYLAN | So same FIYM video shared in Asher’s applies here as well, but I think what works so well about Liam’s voice in regards to Dylan is that I think the key trait to Dylan is that he’s not flashy. When I think about Liam’s voice (and I love his voice, he’s my favorite FIYM member), I often think about when Sue on Glee called Quinn’s voice a “soft, forgettable alto,” but only it’s a tenor and I mean it in a nice way. The most endeared way. Dylan is less about being impressive and more about just like... character. His voice is not the best in the bunch but you can feel how him all of his performances are through his inflections and his energy. That’s what Dylan vocally feels like to me. So aside from his soft, forgettable tenor on the second verse of “Compass,” here’s a couple other niche comparisons for Dyl Pickle:

Princeton in Avenue Q -- Whenever “Purpose” comes on shuffle, I think about Dylan because of how distinct and energetic the delivery of the song is. There’s just so many little quirks and inflections and moments of fun within the vocals, and that reminds me so much of how Dylan performs. Little laughs, free-wheeling runs, stuff like that. Example track: Purpose.

Graham Verchere -- This dude like isn’t even actually a singer and he isn’t that big an actor, but I love love love his rendition of “Thirteen” with Grace VanderWaal and every time I listen to it I think about Dylan and Asher. It captures the other end of Dylan’s range for me (the soft, forgettable tenor thing) in the sense of like... imagining Dylan plucking out songs for fun on his guitar while hanging out with Asher and then playfully serenading him and the two of them doing a carefree, easy duet like this. I just love it. So I’ll include it. Example track: Thirteen.

[melyaliz]

The Yellow Umbrella pt.5

Masterlist 

Fandom: Marvel 

Summary: Eating cookies and whip cream -NOT- off each other 

Pairing: Demon Lord! Loki x Reader

Notes: I’ve been struggling with this story. Like I have the outline and everything but… I feel just a little lost with where I am going. So I may take a small break. Idk.  I think it’s more I want it to be funnier but I don’t think it is. Then again I’m reading it over several times. 

Or it’s just me 

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

------------------------------------

Loki sat up looking around the bedroom, curled up in a soft blanket and cuddled up with a stuffed pig. His new friend. His pig was getting more action with him than his secretaries at the moment. He had been here more in the past few days than his own bedroom really. 

Maybe he was acquiring a taste for cotton over silk. 

Getting up he noticed the fluffy pink robe laying on the floor. Picking it up he gracefully wrapped it over his body. Sadly there were no slippers. It did, much to his delight, have a hood with bunny ears.

“Well don’t you look adorable” the lady of cotton said looking up as Loki walked into the living room. She was scrolling on her phone as the tv played. A plate of cookies and can of whipped cream on the table in front of her. Loki just nodded, pulling the hood over making the bunny ears flop in front of his face. 

“I felt like I needed some sugar this morning,” she said, noticing him looking at her place of sugar. “If you want some you will have to risk Mr Mewoly”

“For those cookies, I will take the risk.” Loki’s pink ears bounced as he made his way to the kitchen. A pot of coffee sat on the counter as well. Opening the cabinet where he remembered seeing Yue pull out a mug he was greeted by a line of cream cups all etched with dark lettering  “Coffee, Hot chocolate, Tea” as well as some bowls that said soup pasta, and cereal. 

Pulling out an appropriate Coffee mug and helping himself to come coffee before risking his life grabbing a few cookies from the demonic cat’s body. Was it just him or did it’s eyes look even eviler than he remembered? Maybe he should get one of those, to guard his office when he isn't around. 

“I like your informinate dishware” Loki said, flopping onto the couch next to Yue who smiled at him. 

“It’s so I don’t forget.” she said as Loki grabbed her feet draping them over his lap before,“By the way, these cookies are amazing. Totally worth the risk.”

Loki nodded as he added a healthy amount of whip cream to his cookie before taking a bite, “Jeff, my assistant, got them for me.” 

“Oh fancy you have an assistant.”

“That I do.” Loki said, taking another bite of his cookie. His free hand gently stroked her ankle as he studied the TV. The two twins were battling some crazy puppets or something. He wasn’t totally paying attention, still waking up.  

“So your assistant’s name is Jeff huh. Do you also have a name?” Yue asked. Loki paused licking sweet cream from his lips as she flashed him a cheeky grin, “See what I did there, smooth.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle, She was as cute as her choice of robes and dishware, “Very” taking the last bite of his cookie he savored the taste for a moment before speaking again,  “Loki… and you?”

“Loki?” she let out a light laugh “what are you some norweedic god or something? Did you parents hate you? Like Thor I could see but… Loki? Wasn’t he like… the bad guy”

“Not bad necessarily… more like... smarter than everyone else.” 

“Still, Loki? Why not just say Hades, at least that bitch was loyal.”   

“Laugh it up, what’s your name?” 

“Yue”

He tried, but really he didn’t have much to say to that, “it fits you.” he said nodding. It did. It fit her like everything else in this apartment. It was just so… her. 

“So…” she said settling back into her couch of comfort, “Please don’t take this the wrong way but, I like this…. thing we have going.”

“Speaking of loyalty.” Loki said, raising an eyebrow, “I don’t really do relationships… I mean this has been fun, don’t get me wrong but, I’m not about to feed you some pomegranate seeds or whatever.”

“No, that’s what I mean. I like THIS” she motioned between the two of them, “No strings attached. Feeling like we don’t own anything to the other person.” 

“Well in that case I’m all for this thing we have.” 

“So you’ll keep stopping by?”

“I’m only a text away.” 

Nodding Yue pulled out her phone handing it to him, “I’m here for texting. I like to do things with my friends.” 

“Never want to get in the middle of that.” Loki said taking the phone entering his number, “I can always meet after if you're down.” 

“Deal” 

Her hand was still out so Loki took it and shook. Making it officially official. His slender fingers wrapping around her own. 

It felt like the beginning of something. But the fact was it kind of was.

The beginning of nothing. 

-----

“So you guys basically shook on being hook up buddies?” Sammie asked as she took a cookie from the plate that was on the table. 

“I think it’s cute” Riley said, “did you get him some snacks or are we special?”

“Well he actually got us those cookies,” Yue nodded down the now demolished plate of cookies. She had brought over to Sammie’s apartment for movie time, she would say night but it was more early evening. They were watching clueless with a bowl of carrots. And cookies because Yue refused to spend the whole night eating only healthy food even if it was for the memes. 

“He’s hot AND he gets your amazing sweets!?!” Riley moaned, “Are we sure this guy isn’t fake?” 

“Like what?” Sammie shickred, “Is he a cardboard cutout?” 

“Yes, he’s just got a cutout of Brendon Urie and I have been carrying him around pretending it’s my side piece.”

“I like how this cardboard cutout isn’t even your boyfriend. He’s a side piece which means you can sleep with other cardboard cutouts.” Sammie picked at the hole in her sock that had been slowly growing since the movie started. 

“I have Paul Rudd bringing me cake for lunch and Frank Sinatra delivering pizza for dinner.” 

“Living the dream” Riley chuckled, “Oh I have an idea! After this movie  let’s find you something to help him eat your cookie” holding up the image of a local sex shop on her google maps. “They close late like a good sex shop too.” 

“Really Riley?” Sammie said looking up at the shop skeptically. “We have like 6 other movies planned.” 

“We could always watch them after. Go on a quick adventure.” 

“Adventure!” Yue giggled, “Come on Sammie maybe we can find you something tasteful for your presentation on Monday.” 

“Yes I’m sure the Magic Cherry will have JUST what I need to help me pitch my website design on Monday.”  

“Something Leather maybe? I’m sure the party planning company will be super into it.” 

“Yue’s right, after all they ARE all about partying.” 

Sammie fought back a smile as she tossed Yue a hoodie. “Let’s just get there before they close. I don’t want to be those jerks who are there when the workers want to leave.” 

Yue nodded following her friends out bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. Feeling giddy with excitement. “This is the craziest thing I have ever done.” 

------------------------

“It was the craziest thing I have ever done” 

“That’s where you have been? Doing the craziest thing ever?” Jeff asked as he came up behind Loki holding his black umbrella. Loki surveyed the dark road as they both slowly walked under the large red bridge. 

“Yep we watched this show called Gravity Falls.” 

“What?” 

“It’s a popular children’s cartoon.” 

“A children’s show?” 

“We ate cookies with whip cream.” 

“Off each other?” 

“Out of bowls,” Loki pulled out a pair of white rubber gloves from his pocket, putting them on. 

“Oh, did you… was she young?” 

“For human standards no, you know I don’t mess with anyone who is not within reason.” 

“Cookies for breakfast is the craziest thing you have ever done? Really?” Jeff sighed, closing the umbrella shaking it. Most of the rain had slowed at this point and from where they were standing it wasn’t really doing much good anyway. 

Loki chuckled slowly crouching down. Holding out his hand he waited for Jeff to hand him his cane. Which he did. “I wore a fluffy pink robe with bunny ears.”

“I guess it’s important to have new experiences.” his assistant sniffed looking around tugging his coat closer to himself. 

Loki nodded using the sharp end of his cane to poke at something. 

A dead body. Half its face already decaying in the muddy ground, eyes missing. Around it several others. All their eyes missing bits of their body decaying.

“You sent these vampires out only two days ago.” Jeff, “You think it’s the faceless?” 

“No” Loki sighed standing up, “This is something else. Something worse.” 

“What should I tell the others?” 

“Stay in packs and if anyone knows anything to come to me right away.” Loki turned surveying the site that lay before them. He had sent for the vampires from Seattle to go down to LA to check on Brandon after the LA demon hadn’t shown up for their meeting. While not unusual it hadn’t sat right with Loki. 

Now with almost ten vampires laying here dead and the rest missing he was starting to worry. If someone had overthrown Brandon they would normally approach Loki. New terf lords would want to make a truce with the most powerful Demon Lord on this continent. 

No news, in this case, meant nothing good. 

-------------

“They have butt plugs that have tails,” Riley said holding a pretty pink and glitter one, “And a unicorn horn, I could fulfill all my little kid dreams and become a unicorn.” 

“Please don't refer to yourself as a little girl in here” Sammie frowned, “It’s weird.”

“Ok, sorry sorry.” Riley said looking over the other items on the wall. “I have been wanting to try these,” she said, pulling a pair of nipple clamps. Sammie, already feeling VERY out of place just looked down at her phone nodding.

“Get whatever you want, I just don’t want to picture you and Sam… doing stuff.” 

“Ok fine,” Riley said, grabbing ones she thought she would like before walking over to Yue who was looking over a rack of panties.

“Find anything fun?” 

“Yeah a few things, What do you think?” she asked, holding up a lacy lingerie. A pretty green color.  

“Love the color” Riley nodded before grabbing a pair of fluffy black cuffs, “Get these too,” 

“Ok but I want the pink ones,” Yue giggled thinking about the morning where Loki had dressed up in her bunny robe. He looked good in it. Under all that eyeliner and studds he was just a big dork. She found it hilarious and would do everything to keep messing with that side for her own amusement. 

“So are you guys meeting up tonight?” Sammie asked, coming up nodding toward the set Yue was holding approving. 

“No he hasn’t texted me.” 

“So what about late dinner? Gary was saying we should go out to this speakeasy place.”

“Oh let me text Sam,” Riley said, “He’s been wanting to go there. Yue you can just find your Paul Rudd while we are out.”

“Or just enjoy the company I’m with.” Yue snickered, “I don’t have to spend every night hooking up.” 

“What’s the fun in that?” The cashier chuckled as she took Yue’s things. 

“A girl needs at least one night to herself.” 

“Well you got the wrong stuff for a night by yourself.” the cashier said as she wrapped everything up, “But I do have some dildos on sale if you want some you time.” 

--------------------------

Sam had responded almost immediately that he would pick the girls up. Something about a long week and just wanting to be with his lady. So rushing back to their apartment the girls quickly changed out of their jeans and hoodies into more slutty hipster attire. (A girl’s gotta dress the occasion after all) 

Once she was more speakeasy and less “I am cuddling with my two best friends watching movies” Yue grabbed her bag and walked outside her apartment. After locking her door she turned almost running into a tall dark haired man. Dressed in a red leather jacket he was smoking a cigarette. Yue’s eyes instantly went up to the man’s bold white streak that ran across the front of his black hair. Blue eyes looking down at her amused. 

“Oh, excuse me.” 

The large man shrugged holding out his cigarette pack “Want one?” 

Yue shook her head, thrusting her keys back into her purse, “I’m good thanks.” 

He nodded putting the pack away, “You’re all dressed up, going somewhere fun?” 

“Yeah just dinner with friends.” 

“Nice, I’m visiting a friend, know any good places to go?” 

“Uh well we are going to Idain Basian but if you want something more happening, maybe like Valencia street?” 

“Oh sounds good, I’m not big on waterfronts.” 

“Well I hate to break it to you but San Francisco is basically an island.” 

This earned her another chuckle. “True, well have a good night and be careful there’s a full moon out tonight, never know what crazy you'll run into.” 

Yue nodded walking toward the gate of the complex where her friends were waiting, turning back she got one last look at the man, for a moment she could have sworn it looked like his eyes glowed. 

Maybe she was watching too many cartoons. 

Or maybe he was just a bunch of gnomes in a trench coat. 

No, she was definitely watching too many cartoons. 

-GET TAGGED!- 

Masterlist 

Forever tag:  @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @0hmydeku @xx3fsxx @daisyboobear  @jason-redhood @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr  @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep  @cdwmtjb8

Story:  @irwin-hood @hit-th3r0ck @cruel-kitten @boofrarti @i-miukimiuki @mmimagine-40 @mynameofuser @pia-1000 @angelgl16 @the-fifth-marauder03 @plutos-deamonchild @frenchfrostpudding @carydorse @neverleturheartshow2​ @sebhiddleston​ @probsjosh @dracaryspowpow @andrea20967​ @saiyanprincessswanie​ @olive-tini @albinotigerpython @wonderlandfandomkingdom​ @alessia--winchester 

[specialinteresthaven]

Lindsey Way/Brendon Urie

(Disclaimer: I’m not an expert on whats going on here. I don’t know every detail. Correct me if I get something wrong or if I leave something important out. Thank you!)

Lindsey Way is getting canceled on twitter again. Brendon Urie is as well.

Lindsey:

So obviously, I don’t know everything about the topic. But I’ve seen enough. Do I think Lindsey is perfect? No. Do I believe she did what everyone is saying she did? Um, no.

LynZ is one of my idols. She’s one of the people who inspired me to start learning bass guitar. From all I’ve seen, she’s an amazing person. I don’t think it’s right for people to censor her name as if it’s some kind of slur. She’s a human being. It’s sickening to see the amount of hatred she gets.

She’s not abusing Gerard. She’s not bashing on anyone’s mental health.

She and Gee seem happy together, don’t try to dig into their private life and make some sort of fucked up conspiracy.

And god forbid you’re one of those people who dislikes her because she “rUiNeD fReRaRd!1!1!1!!!!!1″

I’m not saying that Lindsey hasn’t done wrong in the past. She has, and I know she has. I don’t agree with every single thing she does either. But that’s the past, it was like ten years ago. Yes, she’s made mistakes, but she’s clearly grown from them and moved on. You should too.

You can dislike Lindsey Way all you want. I can’t force you to like her. Being stupid and hating on her on twitter is disrespectful. If you don’t like Lindsey, be respectful about it.

Brendon:

So, Brendon has a lot of shit on him right now from sexually harassing Ryan Ross, to using racial slurs, to whatever in the living fuck is going on with Zack Hall.

I’m a Panic! at the Disco fan. When I was informed on all this today it honestly broke my heart a little bit. Brendon was one of my idols, but after all this, I really don’t think I can support him for the time being.

The first thing I want to address is the whole Ryden thing. Apparently, Brendon would kiss Ryan even though Ryan was uncomfortable with it. That’s really messed up. While it was so many years ago, this still seems like something Brendon would do. If it had seemed like he changed, then I think I could let this one go for the most part. But honestly, I don’t think he has.

Next: Girls/Girls/Boys. So, I’ve just been made aware of this, but this song was written because Brendon thought two girls kissing each other was hot. Now, honestly, there’s not that much of a problem with thinking two girls kissing is hot. You cant really control what you think is hot. My problem is that he was clearly sexualizing it (correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s the information I recieved.). Apparently Brendon sexualized/sexualizes women. That’s obviously wrong. This song was written seven years ago, but I don’t know if there are any other examples of Brendon doing this. However, Dallon Weekes also helped write the song (i think), so it might not be completely horrible. If there are any other examples of Brendon sexualizing women or female bisexuality, let me know. This was years ago, but it doesn’t seem like Brendon has changed. It seems like he’d still do this, so I cant really let it go.

Now, this is going to be my shortest point on Brendon, but apparently he’s said the N word in livestreams. Yes, that’s fucked up. I’m not sure how long ago this was, since he’s been streaming for a while, but I don’t think Brendon would do something like this again. I’m not black, so I can’t give much of an opinion on this matter, but personally, I’m letting it go.

The last thing I want to bring up is the thing with Zack Hall (is that even his name?). I hardly know who this guy is, but I’ve heard he’s ableist, sexist, etc. Basically a predator. So, Brendon hasn’t fired this guy despite what he’s done. I personally do not agree with that, and I know most people don’t either. I think if Brendon actually cared about his younger fans, or his disabled fans, etc., he’d do something about Zack. But he hasn’t, and people are mad at him for it.

Seriously, Brendon. Just fire him.

I love Brendon Urie. But hearing about all this just....I’m just confused. It’s hard coming to terms with the fact that your idol is not that great of a person.

I will no longer support Brendon until he betters himself. 

Panic! at the Disco will remain one of my favorite bands, because at the end of the day, I cant force myself to stop liking music. But until Brendon fixes the shit he’s done, I cant support him as a person. I cant allow myself to look up to him.

If you got this far, thank you for reading.

-Ella (Miss Fancy Gremlin)

[topimagines]

Love Her Madly- Part Twenty One

Silence fills the air as you don’t know what to say. As soon as you found out that Brendon wasn’t the father, you feared this moment. He gave you a second chance and you still found a way to fuck it up. He put up with so much of your shit and all he wanted was to make you happy.”

“Listen Brendon.” you start but you’re cut off by a cheery nurse that walks in.

“Oh so nice to see you up Mrs. Urie.” she smiles at you and Brendon. “How would you like to go see your little one now?”

“How is she?” you ask as she helps you into a wheelchair.

“She’s doing great. It might be a little scary with the tubes and wires, but she is very healthy for being so early. You have a real fighter on your hands.” she starts pushing your wheelchair down the hall and Brendon follows next to you.

He’s quiet, rightfully so. You couldn’t imagine what could possibly be going through his mind.

When you made it through the doors of the NICU the silent murmurs and low beeps of monitors overwhelmed you. You looked up at Brendon who looked like her was forcing back tears. He looked at you giving a slight smile, which you knew was fake. He placed his hand on your shoulder giving it a slight squeeze of reassurance. You turned one last time into a small room with a large incubator in the center.

“As of right now you can’t hold her, but you can touch her through these doors.” she motions to the slots on either side big enough for your arms.

The nurse shows you two how to hold your small child and lets you know how she’s doing, then she left so you three could have some time alone.

You sat there in your wheelchair with one hand placed on the small 3 pound child.

“Mommy is here little one. I’m always gonna be right here for you baby.” you choke back some tears and look up at Brendon who is just staring at the child, frightened.

“You okay B?” you ask him and he just nods.

Just as Brendon goes to speak the doctor walks in. He talked to you for a while making sure you understood that this was going to be your child’s home for the next few weeks.

“Overall she’s a strong little one, but she has a fight ahead of her, and it’s not going to be easy for any of you guys.” the doctor leaves and you look back up at Brendon who was now reading your little girls nameless chart.

“3 pounds 2 ounces.” he says and you could hear a tear in his voice.

“Brendon look at me.” you tell him and he keeps his eyes on the paper.

“Mother, Y/N Urie. Father, Joshua Dun.” he laughs a little under his breath. “She’s beautiful Y/N.”

He closes her chart and stands across from you putting his hand through the slot. He stops before touching the child, fearful.

“B you’re not going to hurt her.” you softly reassure him.

He relaxes and places his hand on her back softly rubbing his thumb on it. Her whole body seemed to disappear underneath his hand due to her small size.

You watch his face soften and his shoulders relax. This is all you ever wanted with him. You never thought it would be happening this way, but from the day you met Brendon you just knew you wanted to see him with children one day. Even though he didn’t really want kids, you were going to change his mind about it and the moment he relaxed you could tell he changed his mind.

You hated yourself, you hated how you destroyed so much for everyone, but you weren’t sure if you would take any of it back now in this moment. You had pictured Brendon so many times before meeting his child. Except this wasn’t his, and he knew it.

“Mrs. Urie.” the nurse returns needing to bring you back to your room. “And Mr. Urie you can either come with us or stay here, it’s up to you.”

He looks to you seeing if you’d be okay with him staying there and you reassured him you’d rather him stay with her anyway.

“I’ll see you soon B. Maybe we can pick a name later.” you say before being pushed away back up to your room.

Brendon’s P.O.V.

I watched as Y/N was pushed away so badly wanting to tell her I love her, but something was stopping me. Maybe the fact that I wasn’t the one to have a child with Y/N was crushing me, or maybe it’s the fact that Josh was about to give something to Y/N that she has wanted all her life.

I turned back to the small room and went back to my place with the small little girl. I wanted to call her my daughter, but she wasn’t. She was absolutely perfect and it broke my heart to think that one day she might not be in my life.

“Hi beautiful.” I whisper to her. “Welcome to this world, sorry I wasn’t there for your grand entrance, but I’m here now and I don’t ever wanna leave your side. It’s pretty fucked up here little one, but I think you already know that.”

I watched her chest rise and fall slightly, every moment she made was tiny. I realized that I should probably not swear to a baby, but she was gonna have to get use to it.

“I love your mommy you know. Even though it might not seem like it, I wanna find us a house on a hill away from anyone who could ever hurt us, just the three of us. We’d spent the

mornings in bed cuddling, and I’d sing you to sleep every night. I wanna only leave to tour the world with you two. I want you two by my side for the rest of my life.”

I stop myself from crying by taking a few deep breaths.

“Even if you choose to resent me one day and only talk to your father, Josh, just know I love you. You’re probably wondering why I stayed with your mommy, huh. Well I never want you to feel this way, but at the same time I do. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like I’m being torn into shreds just to love one person, but it’s all worth it when the world stops when she smiles. Yeah, it’s something about that smile, and her laugh, oh and her eyes.”

I sit again and listen to the beeps of her heart rate.

“It’s because I love her madly.”

[acrobaticcatfeline]

The Fear of the Dragonwitch (Triplets RoLoRem AU) Chapter 3!!!

Word Count: 2329

TW: This is chock full of them! Remus, violence, blood, broken bones, bullying, homophobia, transphobia, swearing I think that’s it, LMK if I missed anything!

Notes: OK!!! Third chapter is... rough. It sorta comes out of nowhere, but all will be explained in time. There’s a little more closure from last chapter before everything takes off to the violent bit. I really wanted to play with Logan, I’ve been trying to keep him close to his canon self, but that means hes really really apathetic most of the time, and doesn’t want to confront his emotions. I played with how it manifests in this chapter. I also wanted to introduce Logan as another main character, because all of the triplets are, and they have their own arcs to complete. I see the Dragonwitch as nightmares and fears in general, so now from the title you might get where end game might be. They all have to face their biggest fears and grow from them, and that’s really rough in particular for Logan, who isn’t afraid of some trivial everyday fear like being alone or stage-fright. anyways I’ve gone on too long, last chapter is here, first is here. I hope you enjoy!

Pairings: Logicality, Joan X Talyn, OC X OC (vivian X mimi)

Summary: “The next day at school was interesting to say the least.” Roman goes to school after his whole crisis and rocks it! Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Logan. The boy is walking hand in hand with Patton when a bully walks up and decides to go much further than throwing simple insults. Logan is only so much of a distraction to them, who have targeted Patton in particular. In essence, people are assholes and it can end up with you in a whole lot of pain.

The next day at school was interesting to say the least. Roman had gotten thrown headfirst into rehearsals. Valerie and Terrance ran lines with him the whole time before school, after he had sufficiently made sure Joan was ok without him. He hadn’t even really quite remembered what he was performing as. It was a shock to be reminded that the musical was kinky boots, and that him being the lead meant he was Charlie price. Heck, he was playing the same character that the absolutely legendary Brendon Urie did, and that was a revelation. They were singing songs and Terrance had begun singing sex is in the heel, and roman could immediately see how perfect his casting was. He giggled at one part in particular.

I'm black Jesus, I'm black Mary, but this Mary’s legs are hairy!!!

They continued and he danced like a dork with the other two as he sung step one, twirling Valerie around dramatically with a wide grin. He couldn’t stop laughing when Valerie sung a history of wrong guys, her silly accent she was exaggerating was absolutely killing him. They ran through the script once before the bell rung and they had to split.

By the time it’s his lunch period he's gone through the script another 3 times and he thinks he pretty much has the lines down, to the shock and awe of the others.

Just put One foot Onward and forward I used to be a zero but now I clearly feel that I may be the hero who reinvents the heel I may be facing the impossible I may be chasing after miracles And there may be the steepest mountain to overcome But this is step one!

At that, Valerie had stopped him. She stared at him with wide eyes.

“Terrance, how have we only just been let in on this magical voice and impossible memory of our boy?”

“I mean he is pretty shy most of the time”

“… guys I've been the one to train understudies for the past year because of my memory for scripts.”

“what???!!!”

“I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t know that, I don’t think you two have ever been understudies.”

“TOMMY WHEN DID YOU PLAN ON LETTING US IN ON THIS???”

“if you had asked, I would have told you.”

“gosh, you already have your lines memorized, could you help us?”

“uh, yeah sure? I mean if Joan needs help, I’ll have to bail, but sure.”

“don’t worry about me Ro, its mostly finished, I just gotta fuss with the rollers so they roll straight and quietly.”

“ok then! Then let’s get to it!”

 Logan on the other hand was having a less than optimal day.

He flinched as his head hit the lockers and the hand holding his shirt lifted him off the ground. His own arms clung to the other, legs kicking futilely.

“what's wrong fag? Having trouble? Good, you disgust me. You and your fucking tranny boyfriend.”

Logan was dropped, and he fell to his knees, his head bobbing forward. He stumbled back to his feet; a determination set in his jaw. Patton had a bruise forming on their cheek, a black eye and more matching marks on their arms. Patton said nothing, silent tears flowing as their head fell forward. Logan turned his attention back to the bullies, he knew Virgil had ran to get a teacher, and he knew how slow some would be, hoping that they would get back before he and Patton were both blacked out from the assault. He balled his fists, wincing slightly as he felt a large pain shoot through him at the action. He ignored it and swung.

 Roman flinched as the theatre doors slammed open louder than normal. He flinched again at the yell that came from it. He turned to see Virgil and only heard Logan and hurt, and he was standing. Thomas had turned and was rushing to the doors just the same as he was. Joan, Talyn, Terrance, and Valerie followed behind them. Roman silently hoped that they would be fast enough, he had no idea what was happening, but he knew it was bad.

 Logan wanted to scream. He was an idiot! He swung and his hand, his right hand thankfully, was grabbed, and he felt the bones in his wrist crack. He merely winced again, continuing to fight back, refusing to leave Patton there defenseless. He didn’t hear the door to the hall open, didn’t see the bully and his group turn and try to leave, he saw red. He didn’t see Remus roundhouse kick the main guy and apprehending him as Mr. Sanders came through the other side of the hall. He just couldn’t see anymore. He DID feel himself collapse, however, and the screaming of his wrist. He knew he had apologized, didn’t feel it escape his mouth, or hear it ring through his head, but he knew he said it as he passed out.

 Next thing Logan knew, his vision was blurred and white. He had panicked, where was he? Where was Patton? Did his teachers know what had happened? Would he be marked as ditching? He was seen by several people that morning, what would they think? He tried to push himself up to get his bearings and when his wrist protested, he let out a quiet whimper. He continued to sit up, supporting himself on the other hand, quickly snatching his glasses off the counter and slipping them on.

He was in a bed in the nurses office. He looked for Patton and frowned when he didn’t see them. He swung his legs off the bed and went to stand but crumpled to the floor with a yelp. He steadied himself against the wall and assessed his legs. They were thoroughly bruised; he could tell from the constant throbbing pain. He also saw there must’ve been spots that he had broken skin, big blood stains scattered on his jeans indicated as such. He leaned on his good hand, pressed against the wall and stumbled painfully to the bathroom he knew was just down the hall. Once he had gotten there, he grimaced at his reflection. It was covered in dirt from the school’s floors and his blood mixed with it. The nurse must not have gotten to him yet, which meant he must have only been out for a bit, that was good. he carefully rinsed his face, then his arms with a fraction more pain and struggle. He then stumbled back over to his bed, leaning heavily against it as he grabbed his phone and shot a text to his mom and roman, basically a formal apology at the trouble he had gotten into, not to worry about him, that his writing hand was unharmed and that he was fine to continue the school day. He didn’t look back at it to see their crazed replies telling him to absolutely not continue with the school day. Instead he wandered to find Patton.

He saw the nurse turn and leave and then stumbled over to Patton who looked about ready to yell out his name when Logan raised a finger to his lips. He hated the tears that stung their cheeks. He placed himself on the bed and carefully wrapped them in a hug. He also noted, that he hated how Patton's shoulders shook while they cried.

“Lo… Lo why are you up and moving? The nurse said that your wrist is broken, and you have a bunch of bruises and scars, Logi why did you do all that?”

“Pat, what did you think I would do? I wasn’t about to leave you to get attacked, you could have died”

“so could you!”

And Patton's eyes flooded again. Cries about how stupid he was for protecting them and just cries of fear in general fell from their lips. Logan stayed silent and held them, letting them vent. When they couldn’t cry anymore, he placed a kiss on their forehead.

“its ok Pat. We’ll be ok. I'm gonna head to class though, I don’t want my teachers thinking I'm ditching.”

At this, Patton clings to his arm with an annoyed look.

“Logan, Mr. Sanders got us here, our teachers know we’re here. You are hurt, you are absolutely not going to class, or I'm getting up myself to stop you.”

At that Logan’s will crumbled. Patton looked miserable, there was no way he would let Patton get up and stop him. He was right, he was in a lot of pain, his legs and wrist kept screaming about it. His partner had a hardened gaze and he knew there was no way he was going to be going through with his plan. On top of that, the nurse, frazzled and confused had just found him and he got reprimanded for leaving his bed. He had been granted his request to be over next to Patton, if not for anything but it hurt too much to walk back. The nurse brought his things over and had just began setting his wrist when Roman, Remus, and Mimi had burst in. Remus was over immediately, his movement sporadic, but he didn’t speak. He sat on the edge of the bed staring at Logan’s broken wrist being fixed. He faintly heard the nurse explain to Mimi that what she was doing was only temporary, and that he would have to get it set at a proper doctor’s office. Roman walked over and Logan could see the words forming in his head getting held back. He merely smiled, and Roman started crying.

Mimi walked over soon after, her eyes brimming with tears as she gently held his hand that wasn’t broken. He frowned slightly.

“why are you crying?”

“because you got hurt you idiot!”

Logan was shocked to hear Remus say it. He looked at him and was shocked again to see tear stains on his cheeks.

“… it happens Re, its not that bad, pr-”

“don’t lie. I hate it when you lie to make us feel better. You always do it. It is bad, I was there, he broke your wrist, he kicked the shit out of your legs, I'm surprised they aren’t broken as well. This isn't fine this is bullshit. The kids aren’t even getting expelled, they have a week suspension and its so dumb! They assaulted you and Patton, why aren’t they in jail? They could’ve killed you and they're still staying here that’s unsafe and it’s bullshit!!!”

Logan couldn’t help the swell of anger at hearing his assailant’s punishment. Remus was right, it’s not fair. The world isn't fair, he knows this, but he had hoped that at least the school would do what's right. In the corner of his vision he saw Patton's eyes filling with tears again.

“Remus calm down. Me and your mom have already reported it to the police and pressed charges. We’ve also already called the school board to reverse your suspension.”

Logan’s eyes widened and he gaped at Mimi and Remus both.

“wait, you got suspended?”

“yeah. Apparently, roundhouse kicking someone who was trying to murder your brother falls under the same category as trying to kill someone to the school.”

Logan was furious. Remus had been working so hard to keep his record clean, he had punched a few kids when he was a kid, broken a few noses, but he had been getting better, he had been handling his anger responsibly and hadn’t had an incident in years, to have this ruin his record had Logan fuming.

“I… I heard from the nurse that we almost got suspended too. Um, apparently someone on the board had said we did damage as well, and that there was no proof that it wasn’t just a normal fight. They grabbed security footage and they were out-voted, I guess. I think they were the kid’s parent. That’s probably why.”

Logan hissed at Patton explanation.

“what? They- those fuckers broke my wrist, I barely got a hit in there, what the hell?”

“we are going to deal with this Logan. Your mom already has a line of people who are willing to take this to court for us.”

Logan felt both a little more at ease, and much more filled with anxiety. He really didn’t want to have to take his school to court.

“it’s- it doesn’t matter that much, like I said I'm fine, its Patton that I'm worried about. He was the one they targeted.”

“Logan, they broke your fucking wrist.”

He flinched at that. It wasn’t like he didn’t know that. He said it himself. But Patton saying it, Patton didn’t curse. They never cursed. And they seemed so angry. It scared Logan, he wouldn’t admit it, but he was. He was really scared. People attacked them for their gender and sexualities. And they got away with it. Logan’s legs were in complete and utter pain, his wrist was broken, and he was almost suspended for it all. His significant other wasn’t always with him, what would he do if he wasn’t there? He couldn’t imagine it, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to confront this, he just wanted to go to class, at least go home and sleep, be somewhere safe.

He was scared of his mortality, and knowing he was in danger in one of the few places he's ever felt safe was sending him into a panic attack. Mimi had left work to come and see him, maybe he could go home. But- but then Patton would be here alone. His head was swimming when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Logan. Breathe. You're coming home, and when Viv gets home we’re taking you to get a real cast. The nurse just said Patton's parents are here to pick him up. He’ll be ok Hun. And so will you.”

Logan breathed in… and out. He would be ok.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel @demented-dukey @karmels-stuff @demented-dukey

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing!!!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

[ts1989fanatic]

A more in depth personal review of Lover, the album dropped last week and because I had issues downloading it from iTunes (what else is new) I did not really have time for anything other than a cursory listen before heading to bed.

So now a week has past and I have had more than a few listens (who am I kidding) a hella lot more than a few, my wife and I went on a road trip Sunday 250 Blissful Kilometers of just me and my Lovers.

Still a little haunted by Soon You’ll Get Better I was very emotional after listening to this song and still am truth be told, almost everyone has that person in their life who has been touched by cancer. And just like Taylor when it’s someone close to you like a parent or a Lover it’s downright terrifying.

Lover the parent as opposed to Lover the child (more on her later) is a more mature in control Taylor Swift bringing us the wild abandon of Red’s lay it all out on the floor with the sonic cohesion achieved with 1989.

To me Lover nods in passing to reputation, but as I listen to the album in more depth it to me is a continuation of where Taylor was heading after 1989, it still holds a little shade in the finger snapping I forgot That You Existed a song all about as Taylor herself has said letting go and stepping into the daylight don’t confront the haters and exes just be indifferent to them it’s a lot less toxic.

If there is one consistency on Lover, though: it’s Taylor’s love for, love. The entire album is predominantly romantic and seems to track the timeline of a relationship, from its beginnings to the final realization that the situation is serious. Taylor leaves it up to us the listener to theorize that Lover is about her relationship with Joe Alwyn.

There’s nothing on Lover that mentions him directly but there is more than enough within the lyrics on various songs to speculate. Half the fun of being a Swiftie is coming up with theories, you have your opinions I have mine. So go through the track by track list below and decide for yourself what song is about who.

“I Forgot That You Existed”

Taylor starts Lover not with a love song, but a song in which Taylor Swift seems to have moved past the drama on “I Forgot You Existed.” Who it is heavily speculated on that this song is about CH, is it only Taylor herself really knows. Looking at the lyrics it could also be about any of her exes that did not end the relationship on the best of terms.

“How many days did I spend thinking about how you did me wrong?” “I lived in the shade you were throwing till all of my sunshine was gone.” Then in the chorus she declares, “I forgot that you existed, and I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t the meaning behind this song for me? Taylor has shed the snakeskin from the reputation era and is has moved on not with hate or anger JUST INDIFFERENCE

“Cruel Summer”

Those early flirtatious sometimes tumultuous stages early on in a new relationship. “It’s new, the shape of your body. It’s blue, the feeling I’ve got,” “It’s cool, that’s what I tell him. No rules…. We say we’ll just screw it up. In these trying times, we’re not trying.” This speaks to the drama that can happen in any new relationship before things stabilize and you can think about introducing them to friends and family.

“Lover”

To me this song and video are a throwback to the 70’s era country songs about love that I grew up on and after listening to Keith Urban cover it live you can see how it would be a smash on country radio stations. These lyrics cry out COUNTRY to me.

“Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?” she sings later on. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? ’ve loved you three summers. Now, honey, I want ’em all.”

“The Man”

Not a love story, here, on “The Man.” Here more of a social commentary on society in general and the gender bias that still exist today despite the best efforts of a lot of WOKE people.

Taylor highlights how her career and reputation would have played out in the media if she were born a man rather than being named after one.

“Every conquest I made would make me more of a boss to you,” “I’d be just like Leo in Saint Tropez.”

“They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve, what I was wearing, if I was rude…. If I was a man, I’d be the man.”

“The Man” is one of the boppiest bop on Lover and deserves to be the next single.

“The Archer”

On “The Archer,” Taylor finds herself questioning her situation with her partner. Is it the real? How long will it last? These are relatable questions most of us ask once the honeymoon phase of a relationship draws to a close. “They see right through me. Can you see right through me?” Taylor sings. “Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?”

“I Think He Knows”

By the time Taylor reaches this song,” She has answered that question: she wants her new relationship to work, and she’s not afraid to say so. “I think he knows when we get all alone, he’ll want me to stay,” “I think he knows he better lock it down, or I won’t stick around” cause good ones never wait.”

“Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince”

Some see this as a love song, personally I see it more as a protest song, Taylor has become much more political and outspoken on the issues since Trump took office  this is an “us against the administration” mind-set. At first listen it may not sound like a protest song, but to me and I follow US politics very closely it certainly speaks to what has happened over the last few years.

When the White House responds to a song then I think you can safely say DAMN STRAIGHT it’s a protest song. Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince is not a Rage Against The Machine protest song, it’s a song full of metaphors and because of this it draws you in and makes you listen closely and get behind and beneath the symbolism.

“American glory Faded before me now I’m feeling Hopless”

“Paper Rings”

Taylor joking about marrying her lover one day or is she joking. “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings. That’s right, darling. You’re the one I want,” definitely a love song about a serious relationship, does it mean Taylor and Joe are engaged (not according to Tree)

 “Cornelia Street”

“Cornelia Street” is when our story takes a dramatic turn.  It’s important to know that, at one point, Taylor rented a carriage house on Cornelia Street in New York City while her place was being renovated. The lyrics of this song suggest Taylor associates Cornelia Street with a relationship getting more intense.

“I hope I never lose you. Hope it never ends. I never want Cornelia Street again,” “That’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend.”

“Death by a Thousand Cuts”

This comes through as a breakup song, but a breakup with who not Joe from all appearances, possibly to a past relationship. “I get drunk, but it’s not enough, ’cause the morning comes and you’re not my baby,” Taylor sings shortly after saying, “Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts.

"I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up” and “You said it was a great love, one for the ages. But if this story’s over, why am I still writing pages?”

“London Boy”

With a Cat’s co-star cameo from Idris Elba, Taylor is back to singing about love of a guy and a city, not with great accuracy I might add as an ex-pat who lived and worked in London for ten years. But hey she’s a writer and allowed poetic license.

“Something happened, I heard him laughing. I saw the dimples, first, and then I heard the accent,” “They say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives. You know I love a London boy.”

“Soon You’ll Get Better” (featuring Dixie Chicks)

Sorry for the language but this song fucked me up, Still a little haunted by it. I was very emotional after listening to this song and still am truth be told, almost everyone has that person in their life who has been touched by cancer. And just like Taylor when it’s someone close to you like a parent or a Lover it’s downright terrifying. I lost my mother to cancer my father in law to cancer and the love of my life has been diagnosed three times twice benign once malignant (God that’s an ugly word)

“In doctor’s office lighting, I didn’t tell you I was scared,” “Soon you’ll get better. You’ll get better soon, ’cause you have to.”

If I am honest here I really want to fast forward past this song but it’s so emotional and raw that I find myself having to listen to it over again.

“False God”

On “False God,” Taylor recognizes the issues that can lead to the breakup as in “Death by a Thousand Cuts.”

“I know heaven’s a thing. I go there when you touch me. Hell is when I fight with you,” “But we can patch it up good.” She doesn’t dig any deeper here, though. That comes later.

“You Need to Calm Down”

After the backlash Taylor faced from 2016 she found her voice not just in speaking out about equality but encapsulating it into her music. YNTCD is a synth heavy pop bop that calls out Internet Trolls and boldly champions the LGBTQ community, franklt it’s a fucking bop with a message and both my wife and love it.

“Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out” “But you say it in a Tweet that’s a cop-out” (advice to live by Mr. President)

“Afterglow”

“Afterglow” Is an apology song.” Here Taylor opens up about how a relationship can implode with a partner and the role her own behaviour played in it imploding. “I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue,” she sings. “I put you in jail for something you didn’t do…. Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves.” “Why’d I have to break what I love so much? It’s on your face, and I’m to blame,” “Hey, it’s on me in my head. I’m the one who burned this down, but it’s not what I meant. Sorry that I hurt you.”

“Me!” (featuring Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco)

A tongue-in-cheek, extension of “Afterglow.”here Taylor can laugh about the drama. Not only that but she own up to her faults on this song, Taylor lays out that it’s those faults that make her the perfect match for someone.

“I know that I went psycho on the phone. I never leave well enough alone. And trouble’s gonna follow where I go,” “Afterglow.” “Baby doll, when it comes to a lover. I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”

“It’s Nice to Have a Friend”

A lot of the theories I have seen about this one revolve around her relationship with Joe “Church bells ring. Carry me home. Rice on the ground, looks like snow.” It certainly sounds like they might be gearing up for that next step. But I don’t read this the same way, it reads more like a first love narrative.

“Sidewalk chalk covered in snow lost my gloves, you gave me one” “Twenty questions, we tell the truth”

“Daylight”

A dreamy romantic song that is filled with words one would say on their wedding day or just after getting married. They sound a lot like vows. “I don’t want to look at anything else now that I saw you. I don’t want to think of anything else now that I’ve thought of you. I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night, and now I see daylight.”

Taylor says “I want to be defined by the things that I love. Not the things I hate. Not the things I’m afraid of, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I just think that you are what you love.”

This is Taylor Swift at her ultimate best, crafting lyrics that we can all relate to at whatever stage of your relationship you are in. This is Speak Now and Fearless Taylor all grown up but still crafting a story of life with her lyrics in her own unique way.

Where reputation was dark and moody even though in my opinion still a very relatable album, who has never faced criticism and wished that they had the skills heart and wit to respond as Taylor did, Lover is all vivid colors and predominantly bright and cheerful music with certain exceptions this is Taylor in full flow and form. Taylor the story teller Taylor the lyrical master Taylor the ARTIST.

[sfthearts]

Pinky Promise

This idea started out as a joke. I was going to write something that had allll the classic fic tropes, and make it the most basic and cringey. I’ve had this idea for forever and finally decided to do it. I was ready for it to be FUNNY. Then I was challenged by miss @theuriearchives to make it actually decent, so that’s what I set out to do. It then became the longest thing I’ve written thus far, clocking in at 2,542 words. What.

Anyways, here’s this, enjoy?

————————————

“Who’s even throwing this party?” Your boyfriend, Alex, asks you as you’re both getting ready one evening.

“Ugh. That guy Brendon I’ve talked about. But we’re not going to see him, we’re going because some of his and my mutual friends are in town, and I want you to meet them.” You tell Alex as you finish styling the last pieces of hair.

“Brendon, the one you used to be close with, right?” He asks nonchalantly, but you can tell he’s more than just curious.

“The very same. We were friends for most of our lives until he got a girlfriend senior year and totally ditched me and made me feel like a loser.” You mutter the last part of your sentence, the memory still leaving a sting in your chest. Not only was he your best friend, but you always felt like your relationship had the potential for something more. You really had loved Brendon, he was such a beautiful person inside and out, it nearly broke you when he started treating you differently and abandoning you in favor of seemingly anyone else. You never understood it, and each time you saw him again it was like the wound was being reopened.

“Damn, and you’re still mad? It’s been like six years, Y/N.” Alex scoffs, shaking you from your thoughts as he leads you out the door to the car.

“I’m not mad, I just… it was pretty shitty of him and he never apologized even though he’s seen me many times, and my number never changed, so I guess I never got closure. That’s all.” You huff, buckling your seatbelt. He shrugs and takes the driver’s seat, putting the car in gear and heading off toward the house of none other than Brendon Urie.

———

“You didn’t have to come, you know. I know it hurts you to see him.” your friend Noelle says as you after you’ve said hi to everyone and introduced your boyfriend to them all. He’d gone off to find drinks as you stayed back to chat with everyone you hadn’t seen in a while.

“I know, I know, I just felt like I should come since a lot of them aren’t in town much anymore.” You explain to Noelle. She nods and shrugs, telling you they’d all understand given your history. You wave her off just as Alex returns with two red solo cups filled with what appeared to be punch of some kind. You take a few sips and grimace at the strength, but get used to it after a while.

Soon enough, you’re all pretty drunk, and your closer friends are all talking in a small circle in Brendon’s living room. Alex had gone off to find a bathroom, leaving you helpless as Brendon joins you all and decides to stand RIGHT next to you. You take a small step to the other side and cross an arm over your body, your anxiety was already beginning to bubble up at the close proximity. The hand holding your drink shook ever so slightly.

Brendon looks over at you, an almost worried look flashing over his features.

“Are you good?” He asks you quietly.

“Fine.” You say back quickly, refusing to look at him any more.

Brendon sighs in annoyance and takes a sip of his beer, and apparently your friends had noticed.

“You guys should really just fuck so this weird tension can finally go away.” Someone says from within the circle, everyone giggles in only partial agreement.

You roll your eyes and remind everyone that you, in fact, have a boyfriend.

“Hey actually where DID Alex go, he said he was going to find a bathroom like 20 minutes ago” you wonder aloud, deciding to go exploring and look for him.

You find each of the 3 bathrooms Brendon had directed you to before you walked off, and come to the conclusion that Alex wasn’t in any of them. You wander down the hall, where the dim light from a bedroom illuminated just enough to see a couple making out at the end. You squint and walk closer, and as you do, the shape of the guy starts to become more and more familiar.

“What the fuck” you whisper, tears already forming in your eyes, you turn back around quickly and run by a few people, you were too focused on getting outside to care about their whispers.

You finally find the front door again, collapsing on the stairs as you finally let yourself cry.

You sit alone for a few minutes, tears streaming down your face, effectively ruining the makeup you’d spent so much time doing just a few hours prior, until you feel a hand touch your back gently.

You jump at the contact and look up to see Brendon sitting beside you.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, I get it, but I saw you run from down the hall, so I peeked. I’m sorry, Y/N. And I’m sorry for what I did, I never should have done what I did to you. I was a fucking asshole and I’ve regretted it every day since then. I never should have let some girl get in the way of our friendship, I’m so sorry.” He says sincerely, his hand still on your back.

You want to fight with him, you want to hate him, you certainly don’t want to accept his apology, everything in you is screaming, telling you to get up and walk away, but you don’t.

You throw your arms around his torso and cry into his shoulder as he strokes his hand up and down your back.

“Shhh, it’s ok. You’re ok. You’re so much better off without him, I promise you. He wasn’t anything special anyway, not special enough to be with you.” He tells you softly.

You stay like this for a few minutes, feeling oddly calm in his embrace. The alcohol in your system probably contributed to the warm calmness you felt now. In that moment, it was as if a match had been struck deep within you, and all the feelings you’d felt about Brendon came right back. You liked that feeling. It felt a whole lot better than angry.

“I know he was your ride home and you’ve been drinking so, if you want, you can stay here” Brendon says after a little while.

“That’d be really nice, thank you B.”

“ ‘course. I really don’t want you taking an uber this late, especially since you’re not exactly sober, none of these idiots should be driving, and I’m definitely not letting them drive you.” He says seriously, his big brown eyes staring into yours. You nod in agreement, and yawn as if on cue.

“I’ll get everyone out that isn’t sleeping here so you can get some sleep, alright?” He says, and doesn’t really give you an option before standing, taking your hand so you can follow. It doesn’t take him long to get everyone out that wasn’t going to be crashing there, and you’re grateful for that.

“I already promised my spare bedrooms to a few people earlier, and I won’t let you sleep on the couch, so you can take my bed.” He tells you as you walk with him to his room. It’s decorated simply, definitely looked like the bedroom of a single 20something year old guy, but it still looked nice.

“Why are you being so nice all of the sudden… you’ve acted like you hated me for so long.” You ask him quietly, slurring your words just a little from both the alcohol, and because you were so tired.

He chuckles as he helps you out of the jacket you were wearing, and bending down to help you out of your shoes.

“Because I was an idiot, and I was afraid.” He says. You look down at him, your expression silently asking him to elaborate.

“I was scared you’d hate me or not even care if I apologized so I just kept shutting you out and I- I’m sorry.” He explains as he stands back up, your shoes in hand. He looks into your eyes and sees the tears starting to form there.

“Ohh please don’t cry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to make you sad, come here” he coos, pulling you in for a hug and placing a hand on the back of your head.

“It's not that I’m sad, I’m just relieved to have you back. I didn’t know what I did for so long, it took me so long to realize-” You cut yourself off with another yawn.

Brendon pulls back to look at you, and wipes away some tears that had fallen.

“Alright, let’s get you to bed, Y/N. C’mon. I’ll get you some clothes to borrow to sleep in.” He says softly, sitting you on the edge of the bed as he rifles through his drawers, returning to you with a shirt and…

“Are these Panic shorts?” You ask, holding up the red athletic style shorts he handed you, turning them around to see “Are you nasty?” printed across the butt.

“Yeah I uhhh, I had to wear them for a picture once, figured they’d fit you better than anything else I have here.” He explains bashfully. You giggle at the mental image of him wearing the shorts.

“If you want, you can change in my bathroom, oh and there’s some makeup wipes in the top drawer if you need them, I think. I’m gonna go make sure everyone is settled, I’ll be right back.” He points you to the bathroom and slips out of the room, leaving you alone to collect your thoughts.

You find the wipes and make quick work of taking your makeup off, and throw your clothes haphazardly on the floor and put the shirt and shorts on that Brendon had given you as you try to assess the last few hours, how quickly everything had changed. Your mind wandered to Brendon, how he had taken care of you, and how attractive he looked while doing so. You wondered if after all this time, you could finally get back on track with him. You hoped he could start to see you how you saw him, the possibility of being more than friends.

You don’t realize how long you’d been thinking until Brendon knocks on the door, asking if you’re okay. You open it quickly, telling him you’re good.

“Aw you look cute in my clothes” he says with a grin, and walks with you to the bed. He pulls the blankets aside so you can crawl in, and tucks you in after.

“Ok, I’ll be just down the hall on the couch if you need anything, just yell for me.” He says with a soft look in his eyes, just before he turns to leave.

“Wait, Brendon?” You call after him. He stops and turns back around.

“Will you sleep in here with me? I don’t want to sleep alone.” You ask quietly.

“Of course.” He says sweetly, walking to the other side of the bed. He takes his pants and shirt off quickly, and throws on a pair of pajama bottoms before climbing in next to you.

His presence warms you, and his bed is so comfortable, you’re quickly lulled to sleep. You hardly hear it when he whispers goodnight.

——

You wake up the next morning wrapped in Brendon’s arms, yours wrapped just as tight around him, and you can’t exactly say you’re mad about it. You burrow in a little closer, still half asleep and wanting more cuddles.

You don’t realize that he was already awake, just holding you and smiling slightly when he feels you snuggle in further, as he laid there with his eyes closed.

After a few minutes you stretch a little and open your eyes, and Brendon opens his to look down at you. You both untangle from each other to properly stretch out and sit up against the headboard.

“Good morning sunshine” Brendon says softly. “I think you had a bad dream, you were whimpering in your sleep. When I held you, you stopped.” He smiles as he explains why you’re wrapped up in his arms.

“I don’t remember it, but you’re probably right.” You tell him, giggling.

“How are you doing? You know with…” he trails off, not wanting to say his name.

“Honestly?” You ask. He nods seriously.

“Always.”

“I’m doing alright. I’m a little hurt, but I’m ok. Thank you, Brendon. For last night. You were there for me when nobody else was, I really appreciate that. And I’m glad we’re okay again, I missed my best friend.”

“Of course Y/N. I promise, from here on out I’m always gonna be there for you. I refuse to lose you again.” Brendon says sincerely. Your heart melts as his soft brown eyes look deep into yours.

“I won’t let you lose me, I promise.”

He doesn’t say anything, he just observes your face, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re so pretty” he whispers.

“Yeah right” you mumble in response.

“I’m serious, Y/N, you’re gorgeous. Absolutely breathtaking.”

You look into his eyes, trying to read the situation.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He asks quietly. You nod and tell him of course he can.

“I’m afraid you’ll hate me, but I’ve always wanted to do this.” He says just before he leans in, palming your cheek and bringing his lips to yours. Your heart rate skyrockets and you think there are fireworks surrounding you.

The kiss breaks much sooner than you would have liked, and Brendon smiles bashfully down at you. You return the grin.

“I’m so glad I did that” He whispers. You nod and reach up to kiss him again, which he happily returns.

You feel him smile into the kiss as he brings a hand to your back to pull you closer. You break and he rests his forehead on yours. He pulls back and puts a hand on each of your shoulders before taking a deep breath.

“It’s gonna be different this time, I promise. I’ll treat you how you deserve to be treated. I know my life is crazy with the band and stuff but, I want you right there next to me. I want you there when all my dreams come true. And I want to be there next to you for yours. If you’re willing, I would love more than anything to call you mine.”

You nod quickly. “Brendon, you have no idea how much I want that. All of it. I want that for us.”

“Thank god” he mumbles before kissing you hard once more, relief and excitement running through him.

The kiss breaks and he pulls you into his arms, running a hand up and down your back as you lay quietly, enjoying the presence of each other.

“You know this means our idiot friends were right all along” You tell him. He laughs and nods, telling you he had secretly hoped they were.

“Me too. Can we make a promise? That we’re always going to be there for each other, even if this doesn’t work out.”

“Pinky promise.”

[panic-hc]

This is combining two asks, so its longer than our typical HC, hope you don’t mind ❤️

“I love u guys already ahhhh!! Can you please do one where b's girl has their baby??? Thank u xx”

And

“I was wondering if you could write about Brendon’s wife (the reader) being pregnant with their first child? She is not feeling confident about her body and all of the changes. He could reassure her and comfort her...he could even get a little sexy with her. I think it would be so sweet to see B in that situation.”

You had always had a fairly good relationship with your body, you didn’t hate it, you were okay with where you were at.

Shortly after you and Brendon found out that you would be bringing your first baby into the world, your figure started to change.

You really thought you would be okay with the weight gain and the size changes that went along with pregnancy, but as it happened, you found yourself hating the way you looked.

Your clothes no longer fit, making you basically lived in leggings and Brendon’s t-shirts every day. You wouldn’t normally mind, but you missed wearing YOUR clothes when you wanted them.

A week before your due date, you found yourself crying in front of the mirror.

Brendon ran as quick as he could when he heard your sobs.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asks, wrapping his arms around you.

“NOTHING I like fits me and I look ugly and giant in everything that does fit” you break down.

“Oh sweet girl, come here, it’s okay.” He says, rubbing your back as you cry.

He tilts your face up to look at him once you’ve calmed down a bit.

“You are the most beautiful, sexy, incredible woman I have ever seen. You are the FURTHEST thing from ugly, and you’re only ‘giant’ because our sweet baby is growing inside you!” He says softly while wiping your tears away.

“Now, c’mere, do you want to cuddle and take a nap?”

You nod and he takes you to bed, opening his arms for you to back up into.

You only fall asleep for maybe an hour, when you’re awoken by a sharp pain across your stomach. You take a deep breath until it passes.

“You ok babe?” Brendon asks, he sounded like he never even fell asleep.

“Think so, just had a weird pain. You don’t think that was a contraction do you?” You ask, starting to get nervous.

“I mean, it could have been. If it happens again we’ll time it, ok?”

Half an hour later, you were in the car, the pains had gotten worse, and when you timed them, closer and closer together.

You arrive at the hospital and get checked in, placing you in a gown and into a nice room in the maternity ward. They check you for dilation, and you’re already at a 5.

“Bren, this is really it, we’re going to be parents tonight” you say to him between contractions, smiling slightly.

He looks at you with big eyes and smiles, tears already forming. He places a hand on your stomach for probably the last time.

“Hey baby, we’ll see you soon. We love you” he says, fully crying already.

You go through another hour or so of painful contractions, which speed up and become even more painful once your water finally breaks.

You’re sweating and crying and gripping B’s hand as hard as you can through another contraction, and if you could feel anything besides cramping and pain, you’d feel bad for him.

“Honey you’re doing so good, only a few more minutes. They said you’re at a 10, it’s almost time to push. We’ll have a baby in a few minutes” he tells you, still holding your hand and brushing hair away from your sweaty forehead.

You breathe deeply and nod, regaining some of your sanity.

Your doctor and a few nurses come in and before you know it, they’re guiding you through the next few steps.

You push a few times, and you hear Brendon gasp and tell you that he sees the head.

You push once more, and hear the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Your baby was here, screaming like crazy, but here.

“Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Urie, you have a brand new baby girl!” The doctor tells you as he cleans the baby off slightly, before placing her on your chest.

Brendon’s eyes light up and fill with tears as he looks down at you.

“Oh my god Y/N, a little girl!

He gives you a big kiss on the forehead as you both cry over the sight of your beautiful girl on your chest.

Shortly after, they take her from you to clean her off fully and do all of her measurements before handing her back, swaddled in a blanket now.

“Do you want to hold her?” You offer to Brendon, who hadn’t stopped staring at you and the baby, glassy eyed and smiling softly.

He nods and carefully takes her from you, stroking a finger across her tiny cheek.

“Hi baby girl, I’m your daddy” he whispers.

“We’re really parents, B. We have a baby!” You say to him as you smile widely, and he nods.

“I love you both so, so much. I am so lucky” he says.

“We both love you so much, Bren. I’m so lucky too.”

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Bodyguard IV: Vegas Lights (Chapter Five) (B. Urie x Reader)

IN A DIFFERENT SETTING, the shiny surfaces and flashy lights might have appealed to you, but in the current environment, it did the exact opposite. The high of being surrounded by high rollers and their lavish lifestyles had worn off pretty quickly, and now your journey throughout the hotel casino was made bearable only by the presence of the man whose arm you had a hand wrapped around.

"You alright there?"

"Hm?" Tearing your gaze away from the crystal chandelier dangling in the middle of the room, you turned to find Brendon observing you with an expectant expression. "Oh, yeah. Just... feel kinda out of place."

The agent let out a wheeze. "Says the one who lived in mansions all their life."

"Yeah but..." you gestured to all of the affluent individuals buzzing around, "These people are on another level."

Shaking his head, Brendon placed a hand on the small of your back and gently guided you further toward the center of the casino.

"They only look that way. I guarantee you that at least seventy percent of them can't even really afford to be playing. But they do it to keep up appearances. In Vegas," he stepped to the side and allowed a couple of servers carrying drink trays to pass, "it's all about the image. Which..." Lifting his hand from your back and stepping away to observe you, he nodded in approval. "You seem to have perfected." His eyes met yours, and your heart skipped a beat. "You look beautiful."

Smiling softly, you reached out to grip the collar of his shirt and smoothed out the small crinkles in the material.

"You're not looking too bad yourself. Not as good as me, obviously, but..."

Rolling his eyes, he placed his hand atop yours and lowered it from his collar. "You want a drink?" You nodded. "Okay," he said quietly, moving to place an order at the bar.

As he did that, you once again looked out across the casino floor. The section you were currently standing in was comprised mostly of poker tables, each one virtually identical to the one next to it. However, there was one table in particular that caught your attention.

It was one that had a particularly large, macho-looking older man in the seat left of the dealer. Everything about his body language and style of playing showed that he was extremely confident in his playing abilities, and the towering stack of chips in front of him was proof that he had good reason to be.

You had never been a good poker player, yourself. Sure, you could handle yourself during a hand or two, but winning was never something you could ever envision yourself doing.

"Thanks." Taking a sip of the drink Brendon had just handed you, you narrowed your eyes as you continued watching the game being played and pointed them out to your partner. "You any good at that?"

Cocking his head to the side and taking a sip of his drink as well, Brendon raised one brow. "What do you think?"

"I think..." you trailed off, staring in awe as the macho-man let out a cheer and used both arms to sweep the massive pile of chips in the middle of the table towards his pile, "...that that guy is fucking unbelievable."

Following your gaze, Brendon watched the man count his chips. Unlike you, though, he was unimpressed.

"He's too cocky," the agent said plainly, gently swirling the bourbon in his glass before taking another sip, "It's not an ideal trait in a good poker player."

You found his impression of the man somewhat hypocritical, and the funny look you were giving him made that quite clear. Noticing your disapproval, he pursed his lips and held out one hand.

"His cocky and my cocky are two vastly different things," he justified, once again guiding you by the small of your back, this time in the opposite direction.

"Right, of course."

As the two of you made your way through the crowd and consequently got closer and closer to the table you'd been watching, the planget voice of the macho-man became audible; he was relishing in his major win, and arrogantly tossing out open challenges to anyone who passed by the table.

"What about you, pretty boy?" Calling out to Brendon, the man leaned back in his seat and raised his chin. "You game?"

Not paying any attention to the challenge whatsoever, Brendon continued guiding you along. Macho-man didn't seem to appreciate being ignored, and seeing the two of you walk away prompted a louder, far more insulting string of words.

This time, Brendon stopped dead in his tracks.

Knowing that the only way this situation was going to end was badly, you immediately gripped his arm and squeezed tightly.

"Don't," you said lowly, "Let's just keep walking."

He turned to look at you, and you were shocked to see that his eyes weren't ablaze. No hint of anger at all. Not even a little bit. A small crease formed between your brows as you tried to make sense of it, meanwhile Brendon traced his fingers along your face before tenderly cupping your cheek.

"Don't worry, baby."

With those words, he straightened his shoulders and headed for the table.

You were still too confused – and slightly worried about what the agent was about to do to the macho-man – to make a move to stop him. In fact, him calling you 'baby' didn't even resonate with you.

All you could do was stand back and watch with bated breath as Brendon gripped the back of the chair across from the man. Much to your surprise, he didn't pick up the object and send it flying towards the man's face, but sat down instead.

Maintaining unwavering eye contact with his opponent, the agent reached into his inside jacket pocket to retrieve a stack of chips. Gently, he set them down on the table and nodded at the dealer.

"Let's go."

✧✧✧

A little while later.

Brendon tapped his fingers on the table, lifting just the corner of his cards to stare at them for the third time. Macho-man let out an irritated huff.

"Today would be nice."

Brendon didn't say anything in return, instead put his cards back down and fiddled with his chips; he counted twice and then slid them into the middle.

"I raise you," he said, face as blank as ever. Peak Brendon energy. You noted the look of surprise on macho-man's face.

"Someone's feeling brave, hm?" the man taunted, raising it again. Only by a few chips but still, a raise.

Brendon, again, seemed unphased really. He peeked at his cards, flexing his jaw.

Despite standing by your bodyguard's side for the entirety of the game played so far, you had no way of seeing what he had in his hand. You were desperate to know what cards he had, what kind of hand he could possibly deal right now. Not that you weren't extremely confident in his abilities; it was just that his opponent was clearly some sort of poker wizard, and if Brendon was able to beat him at literally his own game, it'd be amazing.

"You can always fold."

Brendon stared at him then, expression blank. It was astounding, really. Even his poker face had a poker face.

"Raise you." Brendon threw in more chips, and he was slowly running out. Anymore and he might as well go all in. You were obviously impressed, although part of you still worried that Brendon didn't have the cards to pull this off.

Brendon stared his opponent down, watching him for his reaction to him not backing down, but instead challenging him even further. Macho-man, ever stubborn and proud in his poker abilities, raised Brendon's bet.

You could have sworn he saw a twitch of Brendon's lips up into a smile. A twinkle in his eye. But you were most likely imagining it.

"All in," Brendon said, not even bothering to look at his cards this time. Macho-man simply huffed and pushed in the chips to match, still having what you counted to be about $750 worth of chips left. The pot was now around $10 000 and on the table was a 5, 7, 10, and two Aces.

"Have some of this, pretty boy," macho-man grinned wide as he laid down his cards. You inhaled sharply, a flush was a hell of a hand.

For the first time that entire game, Brendon dropped his guard and made an uncertain face; you might even have gone as far as to call it defeated and you felt a knot beginning to form in your stomach. That is... until Brendon flipped his cards.

A seven and the fourth ace. Full house, aces over sevens.

You let out a relieved, disbelieving laugh, as macho-man smacked the table with a heavy hand. Brendon's false uncertainty slipped away and his signature unreadable expression returned, now accompanied by the smallest of smirks, knowing exactly how well he played the man.

The agent stood and swiped up the chips as macho-man swore, glaring the younger man down.

"Huh, would ya look at that..." Brendon tucked the chips away, then picked up his almost-empty glass of bourbon, "Now I've got my looks andyour money."

He raised his glass as if to toast, and tilted his head. "Viva Las Vegas." Bringing the glass to his lips, he tilted it and let the remaining liquid flow into his mouth, then deposited the empty glass on the tray of a passing waitron.

Under the hateful eye of his seething opponent, Brendon approached you and held his arm out, pulling you closer to him once you linked your arm with him.

The pair of you began walking off and once you were out of earshot of Brendon's now forlorn opponent, you turned to grin at your partner.

"That was incredible," you enthused, "Where'd you learn to play that well?"

"Not important." He cleared his throat and used his free hand to straighten his suit jacket.

Your face fell, although you tried your best to hide it. You'd thought that the two of you were long past vague answers and dismissive gestures; evidently, you were wrong.

Those two words, as unimportant as they might have seemed, served as a stark reminder that despite everything that had happened over the last couple years – including those things that happened between the two of you – you still didn't know Brendon. Not really.

And you were starting to wonder if you ever would.

"Want another drink?"

The agent's question snapped you out of your thoughtful trance, prompting you to shake your head to recentre yourself.

"Yeah. Yeah, please."

He led the way to the nearest bar, which just happened to be situated in a spot that allowed those around it to peer into the adjacent music lounge. As Brendon placed your order, you rested your body against the top of the bar and observed the festivities across the way.

It seemed to be karaoke night, as could be seen by the unmistakably inebriated duo prancing around onstage, dancing out of sync and singing hopelessly off-key. A chuckle slipped past your lips as you watched them attempt to give a decent performance, but fail miserably. They were a tragic case, but their efforts were nevertheless endearing.

"Thank you," you cooed, taking the drink from Brendon's hand, "Hey, I meant to ask you – what's the deal with The Hounds? You heard anything from 'em?"

Thinning his lips, the agent shook his head before copying your action of sipping the drink he held. He had spoken to them last night, but he couldn't exactly be truthful and tell you that, considering he was the one who sent them off.

"Not yet, no."

"It's weird, isn't it?" Scrunching up your face, you held the cold glass to your chest. "That S.H.I.E.L.D would put them onto another mission just like that."

"We don't have anything concrete here yet, and they're fucking good at what they do so... not weird, exactly. Just," he sighed then, somewhat agitatedly, "God-awful timing." He took a big gulp of bourbon. "Anyway, I doubt we'll hear from 'em anytime soon. They're probably deep in some jungle or somethin'."

Brendon took another drink, looking across the casino floor and over to the entrance; it was there that he caught sight of three very familiar faces.

"Or not."

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

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[pathetic-at-the-disco]

The Heartbreaking End of Panic! at the Disco‘s 2006 Summer Tour (Masterpost)

In summer of 2006, Panic! at the Disco was on top of the world. Their debut album was an unexpected hit, despite initially being hated by music critics, and their avant-garde tour circuit across America established them as both an artistic and financial success. Even better, they had racked up an impressive four nominations for the MTV Video Music Awards.

The last performance of their tour was scheduled to be on the first day of the Lollapalooza festival in Chicago, IL, on Friday, August 4, 2006: the perfect, triumphant end to the perfect tour.

Unfortunately, fate had another plan.

Ryan Ross’s father, George Hammond Ross Jr., was an alcoholic who had been in and out of the hospital for some time. He and his son had a notoriously difficult and strained relationship, mostly due to problems associated with alcoholism, and Ryan had written two songs about it: “Camisado” and “Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks”.

An article from Kerrang in 2006 interviewed Ryan about his family troubles:

Ross, meanwhile, found growing up a more tricky prospect. As fragile as a porcelain doll - as if a strong gust of wind or the wrong words would crush him to dust - he writes the clever lyrics that frontman Brendon Urie sings. He was outgoing as a small child, but somewhere along the line he became cripplingly shy. Keen to give his son a good start in life, his father, an ex-marine, worked to send him to a private Catholic school - although Ross is an atheist - hoping to provide the education he never got. Ross found he had little in common with his wealthy classmates.

Meanwhile, his home life was falling apart. His parents split up when he was young; he hardly ever speaks to his mother and rarely sees his two half-brothers. Which meant he was left alone to deal with his father’s growing problem with alcohol - as beautifully portrayed in the song ‘Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks.’ Ross’ fights with his father were exacerbated by Ross’ decision to concentrate on the band rather than going to college.

“He was pretty much dead set on me going to college and I got a scholarship,” he says quietly. “He thought I was stupid for throwing that away. His problems with alcohol magnified and skewed things even further. I was not staying at home for weeks at a time. I was staying with my girlfriend, staying with the other guys in the band. There were times when I almost had to sleep at our rehearsal space, ‘cause I didn’t have anywhere to go. Obviously I loved him and I cared about him, but when you’re getting kind of abused by that person, at the same time it’s really hard to try to help them.”

At the end of July 2006, during a televised interview in Vancouver, Ryan received news that his father was in the hospital again and that it wasn’t looking good. Understandably, this made him check his phone repeatedly and have a barely-repressed anxiety attack, which resulted in the interviewer actually taking away his cell phone and teasing him about it on-air.

This is horrifyingly immortalized in the fandom (albeit out-of-context) because Brendon showed support for his grieving friend with a comforting hand squeeze. (Jon also flips off the interviewer behind his back.)

George Ross Jr. passed away on July 28, 2006, with memorial services scheduled for August 3.

Ryan heard about his father’s passing while on the band’s tour bus, which he discussed a few months later in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine:

Last July, [Ryan’s] father died in his sleep at the age of sixty. Panic were en route from Vancouver to Seattle on their bus when Ross heard the news. “I could almost feel that it was going to happen, because of the way he would treat himself,” he says. “I got a phone call, and I knew right away what the police officer was going to tell me. I just knew.”

Ryan also talked about his father’s funeral in the same Rolling Stone interview:

“The day of his funeral, it was raining and... it was strange to be raining that time of year. After the service, I went back and put my hand on the casket and kind of said goodbye. Right then, it stopped raining. The clouds blew away, and the sun came out, and it got warm. I spoke at the funeral and said that I think the one thing my dad cared about since I was born was that he wanted to raise me. I think he felt like he was done with that and had nothing else to do, so he just let go and stopped living. It’s almost like it’s better this way because it’s what he wanted. I miss him, but I feel like everything’s all right now. It was sad, but I got back out on tour and only missed three shows.”

The next day was the Lollapalooza show, and Ryan was determined to play it despite the circumstances.

The results are, as you could imagine, horribly sad in context. Ryan and Brendon’s vocals are both strained for the duration of the show, and the entire band looks on the brink of tears for most of their time onstage. “Camisado” and “Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks” are particularly gut-wrenching.

The performance was also besieged with logistical errors, including microphone trouble, poor stage management, and a sound delay that gets progressively worse over the course of the show. The boys tried their hardest anyway, but the performance is not one of their best. Making matters even stranger, portions of the concert are lost forever.

Noticeably, Ryan also chose to do his hair and makeup in a way that covers most of his face. He has admitted to using his elaborate makeup designs as a mask and confidence-booster, so it is unsurprising that he did one of his most intricate looks on such an emotionally difficult day.

You may recognize this look, in fact, from a popular gif taken from the tail end of their performance of “Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off.”

The next time you see this floating around the fandom, remember the context.

~Mods C, M, and B

[elliottcreates]

The Geek and The Tech Au

Ship: Logince

Fluff/Angst: Fluff

Word Count: 2092 

As a theatre tech, Logan gets to see a lot of action, from running lines to practising moves, to kissing, but what he doesn't get to see a lot of is outside. He'll spend most of his time working the lights, helping the theatre kids running lines or talking to his best friend, pining over that one theatre kid who never seems to ask for help.

He was pretty sure he was getting to be annoying at this point, but his best friend didn't seem to care. As someone who went through his fair share of pining over a guy, Virgil knew how to help Logan. Well, not so much help, but more point him in the right direction, which was actually talking to the damn guy.

Logan was sat backstage with his best friend, trying to come up with a way to deal with the never-ending emotions he felt for the main actor of the plays. He didn't want to talk to him, not when there was a huge possibility of him being straight, because what straight guy with a huge ego would audition for the role of a gay prince? Practically every straight guy in the school, just to get the attention from the girls for "how brave they are for going for the role" or "what if they had to kiss a guy, wouldn't that change everything?" Either way, Logan was almost completely convinced that he was straight.

Virgil was trying to convince him that he was wrong, that Roman was gay. Because to everyone who wasn't Logan, he was the gayest kid there was in the school. He was flamboyant, extravagant, and he often talked about how he would kiss Brendon Urie if he got the chance. However, these points did nothing to sway Logan's opinion, because who wouldn't kiss Brendon Urie? He was an attractive guy. Of course, that was just Logan's gayness shining through.

"Oh, and not to mention, he is the biggest flirt in the entire school. He has girls practically dropping at his feet, begging him to make out with them and show them off to the entire school, because 'oh my god it's Roman, he's so damn amazing.'" Logan's words got more and harsher as he spoke. Not because he hated who he was talking about, clearly, he was just frustrated at the fact that he couldn't get a damn guy's number. He was so cute, yet Logan was just too much of a disaster!

"Lo, buddy, don't you think you're taking this a bit too far, this could all be resolved if you just talk to him. You remember what you told me in regards to Patton?"

"He's a person, with feelings, and if they like you back, then it's great, if not, then you might just have made a new friend?" Logan sighed. He was pretty decent when it came to dishing out advice, but when it came to taking it, he was not so good. It wasn't that he couldn't follow it, it was more that he was having trouble accepting other people's 'words of wisdom'. He had a hard time accepting himself and his own emotions, so why would he just jump at the chance that what someone else said was true?

"Exactly, and look where that got me!" Virgil smiled, his smile only widening the more he thought of his datemate. Logan had to admit, they were adorable together, and he was so glad he was able to help his friend become that happy, but the more he thought about it, the easier it was for them. Patton was this fun-loving, happy-go-lucky guy, with loads of love to go around, was openly panromantic, and happened to express an interest in Virgil from the start. When had Roman ever shown an interest in Logan? NEVER!

"Okay, but, the difference between you and your significant other is that Patton had been into you from the start. They'd gone out of their way to talk to you, to make sure you were okay and to keep you company whilst I was running sound or something ridiculous for these overprivileged pretentious kids." Logan huffed. "When has Roman ever shown an ounce of interest in me? He's always out there running lines or mouthing off to some other actor who messed up their lines because they don't have all the time in the world to learn their lines whereas Roman seems to know his from the start!"

"Okay, maybe Patton and I had it easier, but you don't know what's going on in his head. You don't know what he's thinking when he looks at you." Virgil held his hand up, seeing Logan open his mouth. "For all you know, he could look t you and go 'Damn he's so amazing. He does so much for us and we wouldn't be able to do our productions without him'." Virgil raises an eyebrow, daring Logan to argue with him.

"First of all, he never looks at me, so what would go through his head would be irrelevant. His eyes never stray from the empty seats or the person he's performing with. The person who always makes my stomach flip in a less than pleasant way because I want him to be close to me like that. I want the way he acts to be how he is with me! Second of all, they would be able to do their productions, they'd have a different theatre tech, and they'd do just a good of a job as me, if not better, because they would interact with the cast members."

Virgil opened his mouth to reply when Patton came and sat down next to him, resulting in an involuntary flinch from their boyfriend. Once he'd gotten over the initial shock of having his love there, Virgil greeted them and turned back to Logan, ready to fight him, only for him to have walked off to mess with the lighting controls.

The director had wanted a change for the upcoming production, which meant Logan was working overtime trying to appease him. He didn't want to change. The lightning sequences he'd been using had worked perfectly for any genre of play. Horror, romance, and everything in between, yet this time, it wasn't enough. He wanted more soft lighting, more to dance into, and more to go with the gay prince. Whatever the heck that meant. All Logan knew, was that it was hard work, that he'd signed up for, and he wasn't about to give up now. Maybe it'd grab Roman's attention and he'd finally be able to get him to talk to him. And they might be able to go on a date.

All these romantic thoughts were driving him insane and he didn't know what to do. He wanted to get them gone, but the more he thought about it, the better they sounded. The chances that he'd be able to have Roman in his life and to have him agree to a date, should he be gay or something of the sorts.

Logan was fully gay, Virgil was bi, and Patton was pan. Logan was male, Virgil was a demiboy, and Patton was a non-binary angel that everyone seemed to know and love. The more it was speculated upon, the more Logan realised it was harder to actually date someone. He had his sight narrowed down to a third of what Patton's was, figuratively. He had his mind set on one gender. Sure that gender made for the majority of the population, but when it came down to it, Patton had literally the entire population as the fish in his sea. Virgil was almost the same, which made it harder for Logan to comprehend anything when it came to him finding someone to love.

Virgil sighed, looking to his partner, frowning about Logan. Patton noticed and wrapped their arm around his waist, holding him close, trying to reassure him it was okay, and that he didn't have to worry, they were sure it would work out in the end.

Logan didn't want to look back to his friend, he loved him, but he could be a bit too much when Patton was around. It's like someone flipped a switch and made him this completely different person. It wasn't that he was complaining, but sometimes it was a bit too much, and it was hard for him to cope with. He wanted to support Virgil, but at the same time, he needed time away.

He was so lost in thought he hadn't heard someone walk up to him, causing him to jump a mile when he heard them clear their throat. He turned to face them, his face turning a bright red when he saw none other than Roman stood with a slight blush adorning his cheeks. He felt his own embarrassment creep up his spine as he realised how hard his body had jolted when he'd been startled.

"You're Logan, right?" Roman's voice wasn't as loud as it would normally be, and Logan wondered if it was the same guy, or if someone had made a cloning machine and cloned Roman and this was that clone. Or what if Roman had a really cute identical twin and the twin was the one talking to him. As stupid as it sounded, Logan couldn't figure out why Roman had approached him, why he was sounding so nervous, or why he was even remotely interested in talking to him in the first place.

"I am." He nodded, his glasses slipping down his nose in the process. He used his pointer and middle finger to push them back up, tilting his head up so he could see Roman properly.

Roman had the typical build of a jock. Broad shoulders, relatively tall, and defined muscles. But on top of that, Roman had a head full of vibrant chestnut brown hair, sparkling chocolate brown eyes that glinted somewhat gold when the light hit them just right (Logan had found that out during a play, when he'd shifted the light and it'd reflected off his eyes.) and he had such a wondrous face, how could one not fall for him the moment they laid eyes on him?

"I was... Dared, I suppose is the right word... Dared to tell the most attractive person in the theatre crew that I think they are... Attractive, I mean."

Logan couldn't stop a small smile from tugging at the corners of his lips. One stage, Roman was this confident, cocky, come-at-me-and-fight-me person, but when he was talking to someone he was unsure around or clearly attracted to, he was such a dork! Logan found it utterly adorable and he found himself falling harder for him.

"Well, I assume you need assistance with this?"

"No. I uh... It's you. I think... I think you're attractive, and very... Uh, cute." Roman smiled weakly and Logan felt his heart skip a beat. Roman found him cute? The same Roman he'd been pining over for months, found him cute?

"Well, that is very nice to hear, thank you." He smiled softly, not wishing to push him away.

"I was wondering if you would like to grab coffee with me sometime? If you don't, that's okay, but I uh... Yeah, it'd be nice and I'd like it?"

"That would be satisfactory. Shall I give you my number so we may converse about it at a later time?"

"Sure." Roman smiled, the kind of smile he showed when he was on stage when the play had ended, and he was proud of his performance. The kind that lit up the entire room, and somehow made everyone else smile too.

"Just for the record, you are attractive too." Logan smiled, handing his unlocked phone over to Roman, who typed in his number and texted his own phone from it.

"Are you always such a nerd?"

"Yes, that would be who I am. The nerdiest nerd." Logan rolled his eyes.

"Well, you're the most adorable nerd I've ever met, and I wish I'd gained the courage to talk to you sooner. I shall wait in an anxious excitement for our coffee date."

And with that he was gone, leaving Logan a flustered mess, but he was smiling, and as he sat next to Virgil, he got an elbow to the ribs and huge grin from his friend and Patton.

And much like Roman, he waited in an anxious excitement for their date, only hoping it went as well as it did in his mind.

[crashingbangingsmoking]

Brendon Urie's coming out article in paper magazine (part three)

Like R. Kelly.

Obviously, yeah. He signed Aaliyah at 14 and they were... He wrote that song for her, "Age Ain't Nothing But a Number." It's like, shit, now it's dark. Marrying a minor I have to disagree with that, that's weird bro. There's a lot of creepiness going around, but I just hope we can keep having the conversation.

What was fame like for you at such a young age? How was navigating that as a kid?

It was not easy, I don't think I dealt with it very well. I got back on my medication. I had stopped taking medication for the last two years of high school.

ADHD?

Yeah ADHD, anti-anxiety, and depression. I started taking them again at like 19 because the fame started getting to me. I kind of needed to numb myself a little bit. I want to medicate enough so that I can get through these interviews and meet these people. The first year was terrible. In terms of my interviews, I was either numb to the point where I didn't care or I was bitter. There was an interview I did in the UK with this girl, Alexa Chung, and I regret this to this day because I look back at that interview and I don't know who that is. I was so not in my right mind, I was just a dick. It was not cool.

What did you do?

I was just bitterness. I was like, Why are you even talking to me? I have a show in 30 minutes, fuck off. I didn't actually say that but I might as well. I could never forgive myself for that.

Alexa Chung, if you're reading, Brendon is really sorry.

Hashtag I am so sorry, Alexa. Honestly, that's one that will haunt me for the rest of my life, but it's good because I can look at that and say I never want to do that again. It made me feel so immediately bad. I was like, Why are you fucking saying this? You're such an asshole.

Were your bandmates there?

Oh yeah, I was in the room with my bass player John at the time. Also, at that time we were starting to hate each other a little bit. We started to grow distant a little more. The next year we were very much distant from each other. We started to realize we should break this up.

Did you ever consider going off as a solo act? As Brendon Urie?

I guess I still could.

But your name and your brand is so synonymous with Panic.

Yeah I don't even have to now. Panic! has become my little play thing and I get to do more than I used to feel like I could. The first two or three years of the band I didn't feel like I had a license to create as much as I do now. I felt like I was the last guy who joined and you guys just included me. I just wanted to hang out with those guys. So then when I finally gained some self-respect and started to realize I could do whatever I wanted, I gained the confidence that I never had. I always wanted to do Panic. Panic the name symbolizes no rules.

In those early days the music had these really intense themes: religion, sex, and prostitution. All these intense, dark topics. You were all kids at this point.

Yeah, we'd never been with a prostitute or been to a strip club.

I know you grew up Mormon, what's your relationship with religion now?

I'm not religious at all any more. Actually, I don't know if that's fair to say. I definitely think Panic! At The Disco is a cult by definition. I have to accept that it's a cult now. I have no relationship with religion anymore except that I will still read the scriptures sometimes. It's interesting to me. To read it now in the context of who I am now, thinking about who I was as a kid and how I let all this stuff affect me. Until I started thinking for myself.

How was that for your parents?

Oh, they were bummed. It would eat me up to hide things from my parents, so every six months I would call a family meeting and be like, "Okay guys, in the last six months I have been smoking weed, dealing drugs, fucking promiscuously, sneaking out staying at friends houses." I would just drop bombs on them.

What do you think was the sin that was the most hurtful to them?

For them it was when I was 17 and the band was taking off. We knew we wanted to tour. We knew we had just gotten the deal with Pete [Wentz]. I sat them down, my mom and dad, I will never get this image out of my head. Just sitting at our table and just saying, "I'm going to be totally honest with you guys, I'm pretty sure I'm atheist. I definitely don't want to be a part of your religion, I'm not going to college, and I'm not going on a mission for your church. I'm going to be apart of this band." Telling them that I don't believe in God broke their hearts. Then I sat them down and said, "You know you guys are just as atheist as me, you just believe in one more God than I do." My mom was like, "I could see how you could say that, but we don't see it that way."

How do you think the band has evolved musically since that time?

It's very cool to be able to look back at each album and think of who I was at that time. Memory is such a fickle thing because we romanticize it so much that I need the people around me who are the opposite of "Yes" people. They do not feed into my ego one bit, which is so healthy I think it's good to have. That helps me keep perspective on where I was at during those times with each album. From the first one, not knowing what the fuck I was doing to now feeling more confident. It has helped me with writing, producing, in terms of ideas that I want to use, direction, vision, all that stuff has grown exponentially.

"Don't listen to other people: if you have a vision, do your vision."

You also had that huge Panic! moment to live up to with the second album.

The sophomore release.

How was that?

Oh we were just on mushrooms the whole time. When we were writing for the second album we locked ourselves away in a cabin for about three months. We had this idea to do like a musical. The music ended up being way too ambitious and we were all fighting so much. This was kind of the beginning of the end. We were trying to do this whole thing and it didn't work out at all. Spencer and Ryan had never drank, never done drugs, so this was like their college experience. So we were all raging so hard for that whole album. I think we were doing it to cope with each other too because we had lived with each other basically every day for like three years. We were just tired so we were like let's go live together in a cabin and take psychedelics, because that'll help I guess.

Have you felt like you're always been chasing that early success?

We've actually done the opposite, like, Who gives a fuck what people think? I think bands need to figure out what they want to do and wholeheartedly chase that dream. Don't listen to anybody else, especially when you are creating an album. If you listen to too many outside opinions, the committee who tries to create the horse comes out a camel. If you have your vision of the horse, don't let them tell you it has two humps. Don't listen to other people: if you have a vision, do your vision. We always kept true to that, which I'm so grateful for.