#like literally i never talk about this especially here but shits tough!!!!!!!! im sick

[yeluki]

Hi!! I really apologize for not talking in a while 😞

But!! I saw you'd really like some Yttd requests! May I request Sara, Ranmaru, Ranger, and Midori with an s/o who is affectionate, but especially physically so? Like lacing fingers, tracing circles on the back of their hands, hugging them close with no real reason, etc! It sounds so cute 😞

Tysm 💓💕💖💗!! I may come back to request more ;))

SARA, RANMARU, RANGER, AND MIDORI WITH A PHYSICALLY AFFECTIONATE (S/O)

a/n: aw,, hello!!! it's wonderful to see you again,, it's ok!! dw about it >:D!! and yes of course you can!! gahhh,, ranger is so underrated it pisses me off,,, sadly there's like no ranger content,, but now i can fix the issue myself haha dw ranger stans im here for y'all >:'D characters included: sara chidouin, ranmaru kageyama, rio ranger, and midori warnings: physical affection, ranger midori and ranmaru (they're all insane),, swearing

work utc!

#sara!?

sara is generally pretty reserved, so at first she'll be a bit stiff, and might not respond well to your love. not in a lashing-out way, but she sorta just stands there all stiff and uptight while you smother her in physical love.

overtime,, however,, she starts to get used to the love and affection and is sort of willing to give it back, although she doesn't know quite how lol

she tries though, and that's all that matters.

but sara absolutely adores the affection you give her. like i said, she'll stand stiff for a while, but on the inside she's squealing and relishing in every touch you graciously give her.

she especially loves reassuring handholds. she loves them whenever, but they work best after the main games. when her hallucinations creep up on her, you always seem to swoop down from the heavens and rub her hand,, reassuring her that you're there and unharmed.

sara just loves hand-holding in general,, but you didn't hear that from me

#ranmaru!?

WSJFSAJDOIEJFDP

ranmaru LOVES your physical affection. and i mean LO-

he'll tend to get really flustered at times, especially when you give him kisses in public,, and it's adorable. his pale cheeks will heat up and he'll get all bashful and cute and i <333

but when you're hugging him or holding his hand (basically just not kissing him),,, once he gets accustomed to it he'll just kinda stand there and not mind while you drown him in your LOVE

and btw,, he doesn't stand there to be a dick. he stands there because he doesn't wanna interrupt you,, and i mean,, you wanna dote on him anyways...,,.,,.

right?

wait

RIGHT!?

*ahem*

#ranger!?

same lol.

ranger is literally the same, and he loves it whenever you dote on his moody ass <33 im joking i promise

but for real, he actually does love it. jokes aside, ranger's kinda sick of being used as a tool. he craves love and affection,, and is delighted that you're willing to give it to him.

he's obviously never been in a relationship before, and you giving him so many hugs and kisses means the world to him. <33

his favorite form of love is probably hugs. he likes how warm you both feel when you embrace each other, and they can last forever or be short and sweet :)))

i miss ranger

#midori!?

haha basically same as ranger.

midori, like ranger, and playful and stupid. he's always got his hands over you, and now you've got your hands all over him,, so it's a win-win

he's always happy to receive and reciprocate your affection, whether it be hand-holding or hugs.

his favorite form of affection is probably the pats on the back, because sometimes he needs those,, as "tough" as he is.

sometimes he'll just bitch to you in order to get some extra reassuring pats on the back,, so beat his ass if he bitches </33

oh midori you pretty piece of shit

[saksukei]

prince joshua au

masterlist

you loved your job more than anything,, serving the king and his family as a knight, was an honor that wasn't bestowed upon many so you considered yourself lucky

the king was looking for a husband for his wonderful daughter,, and she had rejected so many princes

the king had then called on to some palm readers and soothsayers that had said that the ‘prince’ destined to be his daughter's husband is currently trapped in a tower

the king did more research and came in contact with a small country, who's king and queen had died and their own child, the prince, was locked in a tower guarded by a dragon

the king then appointed you to find the tower, rescue the prince who would marry the princess as a sign of gratitude and they could rule the smaller country together

you agreed obviously

you were cheered on by everyone as you embarked on the journey, alone, with nothing but your horse to listen to your mindless chatter

and honestly, everything was going well like the trip wasn't too tough it was just really long

when you finally reached the castle, instead of causing a scene and all to you know ‘slay the dragon’ you simply found a back way to get up to the tower

you opened the door and then you heard someone singing, “prince joshua?” you called out and the singing stopped

then you came across one of the most handsome men you had ever seen,,, he had black hair, the face of a Greek god with well toned arms and hE LOOKED MORE LIKE A KNIGHT THAN YOU DID??

“are you here to rescue me?” he asked, nonchalantly, as he flipped open a book.

“yes!” you answered, in an unusually chirpy tone.

“cool– get out of here right now because I'm not going anywhere,” he told you quite bluntly

and you were like ??? this mf I crossed half the fuckin land but this ungrateful bitch eye

“i'm sorry,,, but don't you think that I would be rather capable of escaping this shit hole if wanted too?” he hissed. “but I don't– because I don't want to escape and I don't need anyone's help either.”

“prince joshua, I understand what you mean,,, but the princess is waiting to marry you!” you replied.

“oh great– another stuck up princess who wants to marry me.”

“actually,, our princess is great. she's an absolute sweetheart and she's one of the finest bachelorettes in the country,” you explained.

“then why has she rejected,,, fifty other princes and wants to go after the one trapped in a tower?” he deadpanned.

“because–the palm reader said so,,, but this isn't important–”

“i don't need your princess– so just go away,” he told you.

after thinking for several minutes, you came up with a solution

“look how about this? you come back with me, meet the princess and if you like her you can marry her, if you don't, well– I'll help you escape back to this tower,” you suggested, finally catching his attention.

“how do I know you'll keep your word?” joshua asked, setting his book down.

“i am a knight, sir, loyalty is one of the few idiosyncrasies we can offer.”

“alright then,, I trust you– you better not let me down,,” joshua spoke as he grabbed a backpack with all of his belongings.

you used the same way to avoid the dragon and started on with your journey

at first,,, you truly thought joshua was some stuck-up prince but the more you spent time with him,, the more you realized that joshua was literally a gentleman who would be the perfect ruler of the country

he acted like an asshole before because he was sick and tired of people trying to rescue him and take all the glory

you understood his anger and ever since then joshua had been so sweet,,,

joshua wouldn't let you carry his bag, he'd make sure you were getting enough rest during the journey and one day he even offered to keep an eye out so that you could sleep

you on the other hand, taught joshua on how to light a fire etc and even some basic etiquettes,, cause I mean even if he was a prince he was trapped in a tower for so long

one time, you guys had stopped to stay by the river for the night and soon it was early morning and you woke up and saw joshua wasn't near you??

sO YOU PANICKED BEC OBVIOUSLY DID HE JUST RUN OFF BECAUSE IF HE DID THAT MF WAS IN FOR A RIDE

and you immediately ran around the place only to find him in the river,, waist deep into the water, except– he was half naked??

and boi where you shocked

cause joshua was so damn gorgeous

his perfectly chiseled jawline with that broad chest of his, his adam's apple poking out, his abs, his arms, his wet hair jUST HIM???

FUCKING MALFUNCTIONING

AND YOU WERE SO RED SO YOU JUST RAN BACK TO STOP YOUR HEART FROM RACING AND PRAYED THAT JOSHUA DIDNT SEE YOU BECAUSE JSJXJSISJSKSK HES SO HOT

you were lucky, because he didn't bring it up so you assumed he never noticed you standing there and gawking at him lmao

but all in all, you had fun with joshua he always managed to make you laugh but you could always have those late night talks with him

like when he asked you why you became a knight ,,,,,

“well, as a kid, when the knights would come back from winning the battle and the streets would be lined up with roses and people cheering from them, I knew at that point that, that was who I wanted to be.”

and he was like wow you're so cool omfg

also joshua gets impressed every time you hold your sword

HIS EYES LITERALLY LIGHT UP

he says he wants to learn how to use a sword too because he's a prince but he's really scared

you: josh hold my sword, it's literally not gonna do anything just hoLD IT

josh: wHAT IF IT FALLS ON MY FOOT AND SLICES IT OFF

and you were like I think staying in the tower for too long has lowered your IQ level

but you also told Josh that if he didn't like holding a sword, then he doesn't have to, because you were there to protect him with your life

and you didn't realize but Joshua was looking at you with HEART EYES

soon enough, reached the palace and you were kinda upset that you know joshua had to go and well,,, get married and part of you really wished it wouldn't work out

because you had bonded with him so well you just ,,,,, started liking him and it broke your heart knowing you couldn't have him

besides, he didn't reciprocate anything either so it'd be useless to even imagine

but when you told the king and queen and they met joshua

they were like ??? you didn't get the message??

and you were like what message??

“the princess already found someone she liked and she's getting married in like a month–?”

and you were pissed more than you were happy

not because all this effort was for nothing but the fact that poor joshua,,, he might have been looking forward to this

so you talked to the king and queen and they said that joshua should go back to his country now

you left the room and started crying because you felt as if it was all your fault

“hey, are you okay?” you heard a voice behind you say,,,,, it was joshua

you wiped your tears, “y-yeah I'm good,” you managed to choke out.

and before you could leave, joshua wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, where you broke down and told him everything

you especially kept on apologizing to him and said that you'd make everything right and even find him a princess if you have too

“its okay if the princess doesn't want to marry me,,,, cause I found my princess right here,” he cooed and you chuckled because he was so cheesy,, typical Joshua

“but still josh, I'll take you back to the tower and all,” you told him

“nope, no need too– I need to go back to my country and look after my people as well, I've done enough damage as it is.”

“right”

“are you going to come with me if I go?” he asked, hoping you'd say yes

“I'm a knight, i can't leave the country....” you answered.

and then Josh was like okay hollup I'll talk to the king and the queen

and boi went into the room where the king and queen were while you waited outside and they called you inside eventually

and the king and queen were like,, “we would like you to resign,,, so you can marry joshua and go rule his country.”

and you were like ??????HOW DID HE SWEET TALK THEM INTO THIS EYE

the king and queen said they'd like to give you an official good bye if you could stay for another two to three days and you and Josh agreed

Josh had to stay in one of the palace rooms

and it was 7am you were going to talk to joshua about something very important and you knocked and opened his room door

anD HE WAS STANDING WITHOUT A SHIRT

“o-oh my god,,,, IM SO SORRY!” you yelled, as you covered your eyes and bowed profusely

and Joshua chuckled, as he walked towards you, removing your hands from your eyes, eventually pining you against the door,,,

“darling– don't like act like this is the first time you've seen me naked,,,,, we both know you've been quite scandalous.”

[lumiereswig]

hey all so i just saw ‘hadestown’ and feel duty bound to tell you fools everything about it because i, too, remember what it is to be lonely and on the internet and too poor to see some snazzy broadway shit

there’s no fanfare or anything. the show opens with all the cast coming on—and obviously the audience is going buckwild, especially with amber gray. (u can tell there’s a lot of great comet fans in the audience.) only once everybody is settled does hermes really TAKE THE STAGE.

and boy does he take it. sassy lil shit knows he owns it and just stands there taking in his audience, before flipping his jacket back with dramatic flare (to show his SNAZZY-ASS SILVER THREADED VEST) and starting to sing. (cue noisy wah-wah trombone.)

the setting is p. clearly a bar; orpheus p. clearly works there. he’s like being artsy with the napkins and shit, blossoming them into roses. eurydice is a traveler; she carries with her, wrapped in brown silk, an alter candle that she lights. (after sassing hermes into giving her a match to light it with.) eurydice balances her candle with the paper rose orpheus later makes and gives to her.

orpheus is pretty childlike and dreaming in this version. (not the cocky boy from the off broadway production.) he comes off as kind of lanky and awkward and not quite there; naive is definitely a defining adjective for him. everything about him is soft and gentle and in a dreaming world.

eurydice is kind of a classic tough girl but she’s got a strand of helplessness to her. she puts on a show of not being impressed by orpheus until he sings her the song he’s working on, and manages to bring a rose into his palm.

environmental collapse is a HUGE theme thru this—bigger than i thought it would be. eurydice’s first lines are about how there’s no spring or autumn anymore; everything is winter or summer, too hot or cold to live. the fates sing of the winds—the fates sort of torment her throughout this—but climate change looms as a dread through the show. orpheus hopes his song will bring back summer, put the seasons back in tune.

anyway, everyone’s hanging out at a new orleans style bar. even hades and persephone are there, though above it all in a balcony of their own

did i mention bradley king is a god among lighting designers?

because that will come back a lot

anyway hermes is sort of an uncle figure to orpheus; he was friends with orpheus’s mother, a muse. as soon as orpheus sees eurydice he wants to talk to her, and hermes advices him not to ‘come on too strong’—

and well that plan goes immediately out the window : ‘come home with me!’ [eurydice: ’what?’]

orpheus is just intensely awkward. skinny pale child doesn’t know how to interact with the world

they have kind of an argumentative relationship from the start—they don’t face each other very often; there’s a push and pull as he longs for her and she, kneejerk tough girl, tries not to go for this. but the rose from his palm enchants her, and she holds on to it. ‘you have to finish your song.’

GODDDD AMBER GRAY IS JUST LIIIIIIIFE. her persephone is a total lush and frequently staggers through act 1. she also has a fabulous white coat that gradients to green at the sleeves. when she dances you can’t tell if she’s about to pass out or float up to the ceiling.

when orpheus gives the toast he’s just so awkward it’s appalling

(and everyone toasts except eurydice)

hades wears sunglasses when he comes to the world above to bring persephone back to the world below. he descends from his balcony to get her, and brings her to the center of the stage—and then, oh, SHIT, there’s a fucking perfect round trap door right where they’re standing, and they descend below. (amber gray looking up to the slowly disappearing sky with the face of a martyr who’s used to the gig.)

winter’s hard. eurydice has to bust back out her old ass coat (instead of the winsome black slip thing and brown vest thing she was wearing), and the Fates, bitches as they be, try to fuckin rip it off her. (and succeed. the choreography looks like wind! also chairs and tables looked like they were floating earlier but i forgot to mention that.)

eurydice is trying to get ORPHEUS’S FUCKIN ATTENTION bout the fact they got no food and, uh, three bitchy old ladies dressed all in gray just took her coat, but he’s submerged in writing his song to bring back the weather. and while this is all going on, hades and persephone are having their age-old argument about how hell is too hot and too loud and IT AIN’T RIGHT, IT AIN’T NATURAL.

because, get this, after descending to hell they descended /back up/ into it, and u can tell cuz the lighting is fuckin genius. i’ll explain later except i won’t.

orpheus is just OUT OF IT and not hearing anything at all eurydice is tryin to fuckin say. (the tune keeps going wrong.) hades is sick of persephone not being with his electric shiny no-good shittiness and lays his eyes on eurydice as easy prey.

he puts on his sunglasses again and u know it’s bad news.

he talks her over and gives her her ‘ticket’—two silver coins that she momentarily holds up over her eyes as she looks at us, letting us know that this is some death imagery. she holds both hades’ coins and orpheus’s flower—and, making up her mind, calls out orpheus’s name one last time and descends into the underworld through that same miraculous trap.

and then, fuck me, the trap comes back up but just the red flower is on it. fuuuuuck meeeeeeee i may have wept.

orpheus finishes his damn song and hermes lets him know that hE FUCKED UP HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE SHE GONE, BITCH, and orpheus sees the flower on the trap door and then he’s weeping, too.

and then we get to ‘wait for me’ and holy shit, y’all, i never been so fully into something in my life? it was so physically intoxicating i almost wanted to throw up. like, wonder as a liquid beverage. tHE LIGHTING? ? i fuckin felt awe on this earth today, i saw god and he’s lit by bradley king.

because! hades’ workers bring on these industrial metal lamps, and they hook them to the wires in the ceiling, and they SEND THEM SWINGING OUT INTO THE FUCKIGN AUDIENCE. they fuckin—they—they they they!—they fucking did! that! sent them swinging out in perfect rhythm and time, fully lit, swinging around orpheus and into the audience. and tHEN! THE FUCKIN SET! BEGINS TO GROW!!!

remember the first time u saw the nutcracker as a child and the growing christmas tree fuckin ripped ur world apart? it’s like that except times ten thousand

like it felt like. like the fuckin world was coming apart. the bar set is slowly ripping open and golden light is just searing into your eyeballs and the golden lamps are still swinging around orpheus and it literally felt like god had opened up a cold one and was just singing something horrible into being. it was wonder. i want to see it again.

like. stagecraft, babyyy

and u think act 1 will end on that because why would it nOT but no, we get ‘why we build the wall,’ which is a sort of chilling propoganda thing where everybody is facing forward and just telling back to hades whatever he’s yelling about, and persephone is there and i’m not sure why (like does she believe this? is she the unwilling consort? what’s the deal?)

and at the end eurydice comes in, and sort of picks up on the gestures everybody is doing—in that way everyone does when they come into a room and they want to vaguely pass as with it so they try to sync in to the general vibe. ‘uhh sure everyone’s waving their hands and talkin about walls so i guess i will too’, that kind of thing

hades shows her up to his office (the balcony door) to sign the papers. as soon as he’s gone, amber gray whips round to face the audience. ‘anybody want a drink?’

it’s intermission and i’m still trying to catch up on all the gasp-crying i started during ‘wait for me’

we also get an overpriced hadestown cup cuz get while the getting’s good, right?

back in act 2 and it’s our lady of the underground, ie amber gray in her exact outfit from above except instead of lurid green it’s savage black. (and instead of a bouncy curly brown wig it’s a black sparkly snood.) she dances and pivots and rivets her way through it, introducing the band, being winsome savage bite-your-face-off-and-offer-to-share-it-with-you amber gray. she’s got a neat little ring-shaped silver flask that hangs from her hand like a purse, and i want one.

eurydice emerges from the office dressed in the same overalls as the other workers—though she looks sexy af in them, ngl—and sings ‘flowers,’ and talks about how nobody down here looks at her, and how it’s like they don’t even see her. the underworld is not what she thought it would be. she wants to go home but can’t. she can’t remember orpheus’s name.

uNTIL HE SHOWS UP! Punk ass bitch made it, somehow, and stumbles onto the stage with guitar in hand. she knows his name immediately. but she can’t leave, because she signed her soul away.

u knew all this. it’s classic myth. did i mention patrick page as hades sounds like the combined harmonics of every rumbling truck on the george washington bridge every time he decides to sing?

orpheus has A Moment™ where it’s like, if this is what the world is, if people sign their names up for shit and i can’t save them, i guess i’ll just go home. but he talks himself out of it (apparently his magic vocal cords work on him, too), and actually talks himself (and the stone workers of the underworld!) into activism.

amber gray and patrick page share a duet i’ve never heard before, and it’s fine, and i think it still needs fine tuning cuz im not sure exactly how persephone feels about hades in this bit. it’s fine. what matters is that at the end of it, hades is FUCKED because rebellion is brewing.

he gets orpheus to sing his song. and holy shit, is it a doozy. holy shit, but were we all crying. hooooolyyy shiiiiiit.

holy shit.

when hades sings the refrain at the end, amber gray looks like she’s experiencing the most visceral, exquisite, heartfelt, heartbroken pain of her life. she literally bends as if she’s felt this pain in her stomach—this pain, this anguish over the song she hasn’t heard for so long from this one man she loved so well.

and when a rose blossoms from hades’s palm, persephone is both crying and laughing. it’s like the old times have bloomed again.

and then they dance.

also, should have mentioned earlier, it’s implied it’s not an og song orpheus is singing; he’s actually stumbled on an ancient one, perhaps one hades used to sing, and THAT’S why it’s so devastating—not just his talent and voice, but the memory of it, the memories it brings back. it’s an ancient song, almost a spell, that can heal the seasons.

hades and persephone hold each other close, nuzzling almost, and eurydice faces orpheus, and for a second u think it’s going to be ok because eurydice is so joyful and persephone and hades have healed. o & e  think they’re gonna leave. they think everybody can leave.

but nope, hades can’t have that. damned if he does, damned if he don’t—so he sets the test for orpheus, but u really get the sense that he’s not doing it from a sense of cruelty any more. it almost pains him to do this shit. but the rivet of steel in his character won’t let himself become king of nothing.

hermes presents the challenge: ‘ive got good news, and bad.’ orpheus keeps asking hermes if it’s a trick; hermes keeps saying it’s a test, a trial. (it’s really a TRAGEDY.)

persephone is wooed by the fact that hades even let them try.

ugh, doubt comes in is. devastating. every single person in the audience audibly gasped—u FELT the air leave the room—when he turned around. we all genuinely believed it would end differently this time. we thought it would. i knew it was coming and i still was DEVASTATED.

eurydice is, too. she started as the doubter, and she had so much BELIEF they were gonna get out of this. ‘it’s you—it’s me—’ she says. she’s already sinking through the trap. fuckin hell, they were on the last few steps. i’m still fuckin emotional about it

orpheus just crashes to the edge of the trap, staring down into the abyss. hermes is singing, softly, about how it’s an old song—it’s an old tale—it’s a tragedy. and then he roars—in a way that cheers me up—WE’RE GONNA SING IT AGAIN.

because that’s the power of it! it happened, it was horrible, but we’re going to SING about it—and maybe change the ending this time—the way orpheus tried to, when he sang his way to hades and sang his way to the stones. it’s the singing of the event that matters, that might matter.

and eurydice is back at the bar, wanting matches—orpheus is back at the bar, seeing her for the first time across the room—and the story goes on, like the seasons .fuckin incredible. everybody in the auditiorium now is tear-stained.

APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE

lasted for like.....seven minutes?? it took ages and the actors were just soaking it up, looking exhausted, because DAMN it is exhausting to chart anguish and joy and victory and determination and love in two hours and 25 minutes

and then hermes shushes the house—because of course he does—and amber gray leads the final toast. it’s acoustic—it sounded to me like she wasn’t even using her microphone? it wasn’t brash at all, just raw—and a simple, honest, kind of homespun way to end the show. and it finally ended, and we cheered one last time, and then we went home sobbing and shaking and wanting to do the whole damn thing again

it was great and the stagecraft was some of the best i’ve ever seen and i’ve literally felt maybe only 3 productions like this, where this emotional shit is actually sitting in your lungs, and u should go, the end

[frobin]

astolfobia

hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet

“I can totally understand the Jinbe/Robin ship, it does make sense. But...”

>> What... do you mean about not being sure if Zoro reacted correctly or not about Usopp?

Hey hey, 

okay this has nothing to do with FRobin and is more about Zoro, Usopp and the crew dynamics but since you asked I decided to answer. And I try to make myself clear because it’s probably VERY, VERY, VERY subjective and also comes from my female and very European point of view. 

I read the scene again (in german bc I don’t have the official translation at hand) but I also looked if kaizoku-ni-naru has it translated and here it is: https://kaizokuou-ni-naru.tumblr.com/post/190464807603/thank-you-so-much-for-your-wonderful-blog-im

Also many of it is from memory because of course I’m missing the volumes with the beginning of Water7 More behind the read more: 

Let’s do a little recap: 

Usopp left the crew. Why? Because to him it seemed like they were leaving Merry behind because the ship wasn’t strong enough anymore. 

That might seem weird since Merry is just a ship right? But we know that Merry had a soul, that manifested in the Klabauter. Merry was part of the crew but as soon as she was too weak (Usopp did not know that Merry was beyond repair), as soon as there was something better, Merry was replaced. 

That hit Usopp hard because Merry had not only been a present from his friend Kaya but this ship had been with them through so much and who knows how strong the bond between Usopp and the ship had really grown (he had been the one to see the Klabauter and the first to hear Merrys voice) so of course for him it felt like they were abandoning not only a ship, a thing, but a friend and even a crew mate.  Now, Usopp has a lot of problems. He feels weak, especially compared to Luffy, Sanji (who is also the cook) and Zoro who are The Monster Trio for a reason. Nami is a Navigator and so essential to the crew. Chopper is a doctor (also essential) and a literal monster! 

But all Usopp can do is shoot. He is probably going to be the best sharp-shooter in the world but he is not aware of that. Not back then and not now. Even after all the amazing things Usopp did in the recent arcs, he still considers himself weak. 

His self-worth is low and he loathes himself, probably feels like he is worth nothing. The only thing that he is good for is keeping Merry afloat, a memento to his island where he was important. Maybe the only thing that keeps him afloat too. 

So, the crew is willing to abandon Merry. Who tells that they won’t abandon him? Right after he lost a part of the money that was supposed to be used for Merry, right after he had to be saved by his crew, because he is weak!  

And you can bet that Usopp has abandonment issues too. After all, his father left to have adventures. Usopp lost his mother to sickness when he was still a small child. The village was annoyed by the child that ran every morning along the road to shout “Pirates are coming!”. Not as a threat but because he hoped that it would be true, that his dad would come back for him one day. Instead he grew up alone until he found some kids that thought he was cool enough to be their leader. He somehow managed to befriend the sick girl, and told her lies, like he did for his mother. And then Kaya was willing to renounce, to abandon him for Kuro.  

Merry is important and they want to leave Merry - him - behind.   

Usopp was afraid, got angry and he attacked Luffy. 

Was it smart? No. Was is it understandable? Yes. Could they have handled all that better? Fuck yes! 

But they are both teens who are stubborn and hot headed and in a tough and loaded situation. So I understand why it happened. 

And Usopp again is beaten, even with his smarts and his knowledge of Luffy’s weaknesses. He could not win. Because he is too weak. He lacks. He is not good enough. Luffy not only destroyed Usopp’s (already beaten) body, but also another part of his self worth. 

(I’m not crying you’re crying!) 

Then, we all know that Robin was caught,  while Usopp fixed himself up and then later met Franky. It was only then that Usopp learned that the ship was beyond repair but also learned that Merry had a Klabauter. And then more shit happened. What we also know is that Usopp had a very, very large role in the rescue of Robin and that he was one of the people who talked sense into her. Without him they wouldn’t have saved Robin and Luffy might have given up. He pep-talked him to continue fighting. 

(It’s still you who is crying! Shut up!) 

Anyway, let’s get to Zoro telling the rest of the crew that they can only accept Usopp back when he apologizes. Which, let’s be honest, makes sense.

Usopp should apologize. Because he was in the wrong. But his decisions came from a very specific place. 

So yeah, Zoro is right. But I get a bad feeling at the whole display of aggression and that Zoro expects Usopp to live up to his (Zoro’s) also very specific views and values of a warrior and the honor associated with it, without caring for Usopp’s. Again, a boy who grew up alone without any role model except that vague idea of an amazing pirate that was sailing the sea.

And the whole “Either it is like I say or I go!” stroke me as especially harsh.

Because I’ve been confronted with that sentiment so often, that I felt that deep in my bones. When I read it first, I didn’t even realise why that scene shook me. But it was that exact sentiment that poisoned my club and ultimately made me leave it, because I gave the ultimatum right back “You will go if things don’t go your way? Then go or I leave!” I’ve been part of that club since I had been seven years old. I left it with 25 because I had more balls than that fucking asshole and I’m still pissed about it, ten years later. And I’m very forgiving.

What Zoro said was that everyone has to know their place or they are no material to be a pirate (which is kind of weird since some people become pirates to be free, if you want to follow and know your place, maybe you should become a Marine). Ultimately you have to know whom to follow and that is - in this case - Luffy and no one else. You have to trust his judgement because he is the captain or else he is not much of a captain. 

And again this can make sense because if you don’t trust your captain or know your place on a ship it can be a death sentence at sea. 

Then there is this thing that this is ‘no playing pirate’. 

We still don’t know all of Luffy’s reasons why he wants to be pirate king but he often hints that he just wants to be free and have fun with his friends. That sounds a lot like ‘playing games’. At that point he only slowly learns that being a pirate is often way more serious and dangerous and filled with tough decisions than he thought. Playing games and have fun, that is why he was so delighted when he heard that Usopp wanted to come back. But playtime is over that is why he agreed with Zoro. Time to grow up they are at war after all.  

We know why Usopp left the crew, went against his captain and friend, because Usopp felt like they were abandoning ANOTHER FRIEND. 

But whatever reason there MIGHT BE does not matter for Zoro. He even says he does not know why all of it happened, does not care who was wrong or right.

I think that is a dangerous sentiment! Because personally, I feel like it’s important to try to see outside of your own perspective and I think you should never judge before you know all the facts. If you then still come to the same conclusion that is fine and if you come to another that is good too.That is what it means to make an informed decision, because the world is not black and white. Many things have reasons that are so layered that you can’t just expect everyone to come to the same conclusion when they don’t have the same information. That is why communication is important. 

Usopp waited for the very last moment to reach out to his friends. The longer he waited the longer he could imagine that everything would be fine in the end. He gave himself to that illusion. Zoro would have never done that and so no one else should do it. He is not exactly empathic. I feel like Zoro can’t look farther than his own ideas.

But I can agree with Zoro to some amount. I understand where he comes from.

Do I like it? Absolutely not. 

So, to slowly come to an end, we all know how this went. And I have to give it to Zoro, he also did say “I hear nothing” whenever Usopp tried to handle the situation like nothing had happened. He wanted him back too, after all.

And shit, it worked. Usopp cried out to his friends, he apologized and Luffy reached out to him to reel him in. 

But I can’t help but think that it absolutely destroyed Usopp after all. He saw his friends leaving him behind in a foreign city without any support. He just got a bounty and so would get in the focus of the marines, especially them thinking he is still part of the Strawhat crew. 

The crew, his friends, would leave him because he is weak and not worth anything and he would have no friends and be alone forever. 

I don’t even want to start to imagine the pure despair he felt that moment. And it stayed with him, as we learn in Thriller Bark. And again and again. 

So yeah. 

It worked in the end but I think it could have been handled better. 

Well, that is easy to say as a grown up with some more years under my belt and from an outside perspective. But even back when I first read it, it gave me a strange feeling. 

I think at least one of the crew should have talked to Usopp and given him some clues. And I’m sure Franky would have if he knew what was up but he hadn’t been part of the crew. Robin didn’t for whatever reason talk to Usopp, but she also never agreed with Zoro, looked almost angry about it. Nami also didn’t want to go against her captain, I guess. Sanji agreed with Zoro, maybe also with a bad feeling and Chopper is even less experienced than any other of them.

Oda is an amazing storyteller with a lot of characters that have an incredible amount of layers but that does not mean I agree with him all the time and so I don’t agree with his characters all the time.   

And that is what I meant. XD Sorry for the long text.

[haile-marie]

i know i don’t post updates anymore and im weaning off this website but i gotta post this somewhere

we got a lot of TWs under the cut:

The past few months have been hell trying to find a place to move out while not being able to work. I don’t have an income anymore and while I have money from my first settlement (part two coming soon hopefully), management companies don’t give two shits about how much money people got (im not mad i get it someone could literally spend all of that money in one night lmao) so like i CAN move, but they are looking for steady income but im needing a new job bc i cant go back to my other job for a lot of reasons, but yes i am almost lifted from my surgery restrictions (i could work technically, but i can’t with kids so) But uh, my dad is getting...worse. and im not really safe right now. physically I am... I think... my dad hasn’t tried anything and I don’t think HE physically can cause he’s in so much pain and he can’t do much anyway but whatever i feel cornered and so obviously its affecting my ability to do literally everything but especially schoolwork and so i’ve been having major panic attacks and i’ve been thinking about putting a minor pause on school for a semester or two just so i can find a job and move and then go back to school. 

Wednesday comes around I see my therapist and she tries to be the voice of reason and says that school is a positive outlet for me (she’s right....) but I knew she was gonna say meet with your advisor so I made an appointment with my NEW (I changed majors-so new) advisor. Thursday comes along, but the scheduling got messed up so we didn’t have a lot of time to talk. Basically, I had to meet with a random person from my school and tell her “hi, nice to meet you, i’m being abuse at home, i don’t know about school, uh....” so, obviously, we made an appointment for next Thursday to talk more and yes we made sure it was correct. 

All of that has been SO so SO tough because I don’t talk about my abuse to anyone in my life besides my therapist and my CLOSE close friends. I posted that gofundme so now some of my distant friends and old work friends know which is fine, but now school administration knows, and I’m going to have to tell one of my doctors (more on that in a second), and its just happening so fast I can’t keep up and it’s giving me a migraine.

Besides all of that above, I’ve been sick (if you’re in the field, it shouldn’t be a surprise that they’re connected though), but, turns out, my asthma came back, but not really since it’s always been there apparently. I was diagnosed with asthma as a kid, but the doctor I had as a kid said “it went away”... nope.

I have intermittent asthma and this situations is just a flare up. Since my initial diagnosis as a kid, I’ve had asthma. And now, because I haven’t been taking care of this flare up, I have pneumonia (we caught it SUPER early thank god). I am extremely happy that we caught my asthma problem. My doctor and I have concluded that it’s always been with me and I “never grew out of it” because I’ve always struggled with “”being out of shape”” when in actuality I probably wasn’t. Up until three years ago, I never struggled with my weight, and while I didn’t work out, I was active, but I still had problems with my lungs/chest and always put it off as being out of shape and deep down I was EXTREMELY ashamed. After awhile it got worse, my depression got worse, I got into my car accident, and so on. Here I am today, on my birthday, learning that for the past ~15 years that my asthma never went away. That for the past 15 years I was, after all, “”in shape”” and I was feeding myself lies and it eventually became a self-fulling prophecy and I became out of shape and now I’m going to have to work harder to get back to my life AGAIN.

but yeah speaking of “”being out of shape”” and all that shit, i’m “”officially” insulin resistant, thanks to stress/mental illness, genetics trauma, trauma recovery, trauma processing, and still living with my abusive parent(s). I’m at a low level, so diet will help turn it around. I haven’t met with my weight loss doctor yet, so i’ll probably post something next week when I have more information.  

I know it sounds bleak, and I’m mad (mainly at my parents), but ALL of this is the turn around I needed. Everyone has been incredibly helpful and understanding. January sucked ass, but this month is going to be the official first month of my turn around and the beginning of the new and better me. 

Hello, if you’ve read all of this, thank you very, very much. Have a picture of Paige as gratitude.

[premakalidasi]

thepurelands reblogged your post:Listen, I’m up to here with “spiritual” men and...

I love this SO much… All else to say, which is not in contradiction to your words but a qualifier, is that we as women...

#so much YES#sexuality

Well, I would be very careful with your terminology there (even though I believe your basic intent was benevolent, don’t worry). Saying women “aren’t victims of the patriarchy” edges far too close to basically telling women, bluntly in their faces, that they’re just imagining it all. Which is bollocks--and what I’ve been trying to get at in my post; that there are issues in the way of healing and liberation and becoming whole. It’s exactly because women are victimised as fuck and abused and beaten up all the time that it’s more difficult for them to even start handling sexuality. 

Women are victimised and abused left, right and centre by a fucked-up, patriarchal system that values the male and “masculine” values over “feminine” ones, and that fucks men up as well as it goes. The whole system is based on violence and power-over and it’s 100% real. And we absolutely need to acknowledge that before we can move on. Not tell women, like far too many self-help guides (who’ve never had PTSD themselves) that hey, just think positive sparkly New Age thoughts and be ~open~ and ~forgiving~ (and forget about these silly BDSM things as therapy) and everything will be fine. Women are fucked over in this world 24/7, end of story.

But.

But.

There’s a difference, a massive difference between being victimised, being on the receiving end of violence and abuse and adopting a victim identity. That’s the key; that’s what I hope you were after, too. I don’t believe in victim-blaming, but I do believe in shaking people out of the *internalised* victimisation part, the internalised self-hatred and passivity and weakness. I would never have said this pre-Tumblr, but I am honestly starting to wonder if women wouldn’t be so badly off right now if it weren’t for their own fetish for fucking themselves over.

My dear, dear sisters: whenever you feel hopeless and useless and act accordingly (or, rather, remain passive because you’ve accepted you’re shit), feel like you don’t have the right to do X (act that doesn’t harm anyone), don’t have the right to say Y (thing that doesn’t harm anyone), that this thing is rude and that thing is being a spoilsport, circle your sentences with “hehe” and don’t use full stops because that’s too stompy and yadda yadda, that’s a big-ass part of what keeps you down. You. You keep yourself down because once you’ve been put down by someone else, you copy them and start doing it to yourself, too.

Every time you call yourself a victim (instead of someone else victimising you that very moment), every time you think you’re weak, every time you’re being a nice girl and not making a fuss (when you absolutely should), every time you put yourself down and remain passive, someone benefits from that. Every time you fuck yourself over typing a Tumblr tag saying “but I feel like there’s nothing I can do” or “im shit lol”, someone’s going to benefit from that, usually the dudebros who are having fun somewhere else celebrating violence and other tough-guy crap (while trying to pretend they aren’t soft and squishy human beings underneath all that). Every time you define yourself through something you are Against, you let yourself be defined by the thing you think is your enemy; by focusing on resistance you’re forgetting about the part where you should be exploring and actively building alternative ways of handling things. You have a choice as to whether you’ll type that Tumblr tag or not, but you’ve forgotten you have it. You’re not being yourself--you’re being what The Man wants you to be. Miserable and malleable and useable because you don’t believe in yourself, believe you have any rights, any power, any divinity in yourself.

So I just want to clarify that. There’s a difference between being abused and *abusing yourself,* putting yourself down. There’s something you can’t help--if someone’s kicking you in the face with a combat boot, it’s pretty damn difficult to start manifesting your innate divinity. And I don’t want anyone to belittle that. It’s incredibly difficult to handle sex if the penalty for that is humiliation and physical violence. But those times you are on your own, self-governed (for example, on your own blog on the Internet, or in your own bed with a vibrator)--if you choose to put yourself down *there* as well, then, yes, that’s a problem. And that’s where you’ve got to start, because if you don’t believe that you have any value, you can be used over and over. That’s candy for abusers; that’s candy for narcissists--they see they can walk all over you. 

These self-defeating structures have been programmed into us for millennia exactly to uphold the system as it is, so that we remain home as passive housekeepers and baby machines. It all goes back to that; every time you say “I should put my feelings and hurt aside and put others above myself at all times even if it literally kills me,” it goes back to being an efficient homemaker while the guys (in turn brainwashed into being good cannon fodder, efficient killing machines) go off to wage war. All gender bullshit boils down to that: either making someone into an efficient home/kid management system or a killing/moneymaking system, and all the divine potential inside of us, regardless of genitalia, gets destroyed and burned on the altar of that system. It’s madness. 

But we’ve come so far from that. We’ve now got the technology and civilisation and brains to be far more than just homemakers or soldiers. We already know we can use these skills for building hospitals--transcending the homemaker and the warrior and channeling that into medical science and the engineering and power needed to build that hospital (and that these skills exist cross-sex, so gendering them is too limiting). We should be able to articulate our feelings and use them wisely by now, and to respect each other by now. But we have to respect ourselves first (and the same goes for guys respecting their “girly” parts). If you start saying “no, actually, this is how it works for me”--which is why I was explaining all those things about the female orgasm in my post, because nobody fucking talks about it on that level, especially in spiritual contexts--then we have a beginning. It’s a defiant act, a hella radical act and it’s exactly when we realise what such women are up against that we understand just how revolutionary it is. 

Even now, I have to try and stop myself from saying “TL;DR” here because that’s one of those many forms of self-belittling, ways of saying “hehhehe, what I just said isn’t that important” because it bloody well is. I struggle with that shit, too. (I’m not even going to go into the list of the shit I’ve been through, even if this kind of Discourse often demands people show their hand--because I don’t believe in cred through victimhood. I almost started to list that shit, but stopped myself, because that’s what awareness is all about--not just vomiting out what you feel, but trying to at least have some consideration over what your output’s gonna be. And I don’t want anyone to feel they somehow have less cred than me because they haven’t been on the receiving end of X, because that’s inhuman and also insane). But all you folks need to know that I’ve been There, and over and over. And sick of it. And it’s exactly because people still self-perpetuate all this crap that I can’t keep quiet about it any more, having been through all this myself. Twenty years ago, I hoped things would be better in 2018, but they just seem to be getting worse, so we’ve got to talk about this stuff, start talking about it as much as people talked about this stuff in the 60s and 70s, and as critically as they did then (but that’s a whole different rant).

We’ve all got to start somewhere--but let’s just be careful about the terminology and not taunt people with broken legs into running when they’re still recuperating, or in any way imply they fell over themselves when someone else tripped them over. 

There’s a difference between sabotage and self-sabotage. Being victimised=/=victim identity.  

Now, can we talk about the glory of uterine orgasms?