#like literally disociating at the bi weekly game bc youve been completely sidelined
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#ooc vent#its really disheartening to be almost 10 years out from a toxic situation and still occasionally get triggered by it#like literally disociating at the bi weekly game bc youve been completely sidelined#and consistently interrupted or talked over when trying to do anything including answer DM questions#like!!! i like these people!!!! They're all wonderful!!!#but trauma is a bitch like that i guess#also love that me and the other female player got up and left at the end bc the boys kept getting sidetracked and only 1 of them noticed#i went to bed bc i was tired of masking and tired of disociating#and my dreams were plagued with more trauma related bullshit#so im just super bummed out today and detached#its so fucking annoying to me that this still happens#even if its rare to never#im just exhausted and wondering why i even bother with tabletop anymore#should've just kept doing my own thing
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