#like legit its ONLY distraction thats the only way to treat it

[cultofthepigeon]

why do i have to get his by a massive wave of insecurity right before going to bed

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, im gonna start combing the two separate submissions again cause its getting too short to have them separate I think?

1: His possession messed with memories Ranbob had before, so memories of school friends or playing with Ran were distant to erased. Though after Dreams possession it was also harder to make and keep memories. But thankfully as Ranbob was recovering from Dream and got futher away making memories came eaiser to him, though he'll never get back the memories he lost. 

3: Oh he would very quickly grow to regret his decision, but it would be funny. And Benjamin would later admit that while it was annoying and stressful, it was also fun and he was very happy to have his two families meet and generally get along. 

8: Everyone is just in shocked silence before Cletus just goes "YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" Oddly happy that Ranboo committed so much arson. Oh definitely, after all the outcasts of society where put there. Of course people would make such negative rumors about Mizu and treat the people as the scum of the earth. Though this also means, people don't know what happened in Mizu, and anyone who knows, view it in a more happy and a "Their finally gone" type of way, then viewing it as the tragedy it was. 

Spoons is a card game technically. A group of people sit in a group and everyone gets 4 cards, and you keep discarding at least 1 card of yours to the person on your left, who then does the same to their person on their left, the last person in the group puts a card into a discard pile. The goal is to get 4 of the same cards, and once someone gets 4 of the same cards, that person goes and grabs a spoon in a pile in front of them (let's say there's 5 players, theres only going to be 4 spoons cause there's always a spoon less than the people playing), once they grab one anyone can grab a spoon. And the person who doesn't get a spoon gets a S added to them, once Spoons is spelled the person gets out of the game, and a spoon gets removed to continue the game. Basically for flowers its played the exact same way but with flowers in the middle expect for spoons.

11: I just imagine Dream sulking in a corner as you yell at him and him going like "well I didn't know…" as he kicks a stone. And he wasnt sure what it was, but quickly jumped on the idea that maybe it was the fact that Ran was still alive somewhere, and that that's causing Ranbob to willingly let himself become weak and defy him. Causing Dream to become angrier at Ran and punish Ranbob harder. 

----

3: During the brothers fight in the storm, and after everyone runs off to find Ranbob, Ran is left alone. And he decides to just wander off into the storm, not protecting himself from the rain so he does get burnt. The whole time he's lost deep in thought and isn't really paying attention. He continues to wander for a whole day unfollowed (because after the Gladiators and Fishermen came back to the cave after finding Ranbob they are in no rush to find Ran and decide to look for him after the storm passes, which takes a full day) and at some point Raq finds him wandering. Which Raq then uses Rans distraction to his advantage and attacks him. At first only really the gladiators where concerned when they found Ran gone. But once they found him blinded and terrified everyone felt awful and a looming sense of guilt. And everyone continued to feel that way, even after they got the antidote and Ran started to see again.

4: They would just leave Ranbob alone and check in on him every now and again. But generally let him deal with it himself. They'd feel guilty leaving him alone, but they also know that they can't really do anything for him as their not prepared or briefed on how to help him in this situation. 

10: Oh definitely, even with Ran blinded they would've been kicked out immediately for fighting, without even a second glance. Dont forget, Ran still cares for his brother. And maybe, losing his sight made him face the side of him that wanted to become family again with Ranbob, maybe it brought enough to light that he just can't ignore it anymore. Mostly only negative potions can be permanent, like posion, blinding, wither, and nausea (I know the last like 3/2 are effects but they've also found a way to make effects into potions.). You already know what a antidote for blindness would be. A antidote for wither would be, a ghast tear (actually a basic ingredient for almost every antidote), blaze powder, and glistening melon to make a overpowered healing potion. Antidote for posion would be ghast tear, swiftness (so it acts fast to get rid of the posion), and the 3rd ingredient depends on what kind of posion it  was (posion that has a side effect of constricting or filling the lungs with water? Pufferfish and Turtle shell for last ingredients. Posion that has weakness? Blaze powder, and glistening melon) And antidote for nausea would be ghast tear, and potion of slowness to allow the person to slowly feel better, so their nausea doesn't hit them all at once before disappearing, which can cause them to throw up or have side effects. 

13: Thats exactly what they did. 

14: Jackie will 100% attempt to fight God and no one can stop him. :) (to be honest im not sure yet, I know I want to do more with Raq and have the idea that maybe he could be the person that finds Dream and gets him out of Mizu, but that's pretty often used in stories and I want to try to think of something more unique. Maybe I'll have it so Raq actually manages to capture the brothers or at least one of them and uses them as blackmail?)

15: When Ranbob was a child and Ran was just a baby Ranbob would often take Ran out of his crib and take him to go watch the fish swim by. When Ran was old enough he'd follow Ranbob everywhere, even a few times he managed to sneak into Ranbobs class room and almost wasn't caught. Ran got extremely clingy one day and managed to gather his haunting all up into his arms and carried them around, even though he was obviously struggling. And Ranbob used to complain about his teachers and idiotic classmates whenever he got home, which is funny when you consider Ran was very impressiable at the time and Ran started mimicking Ranbob, leading to him cursing, much to Ranbobs dismay. 

And im curious, do you have any questions that I havent answered? Or do you have any ideas for anything? I'd love to hear whatever you have to say about anything honestly!

Course! I dont have much lore wise other than they go to Kelalen and when they hear Dream is still around they decide to stay back to help fight him. But the idea I have is that Karl is just kinda hanging with everyone I listed, talking about allies or treaties when his time traveling clock/watch starts to go off, and he panics, but sadly in his haste to stop it he makes it worse and it grabs everyone, where they end up in the future. After hours of confusion and explaining they calm down. When 2 days later they find the Gladiator and Fishermen group, at first Karl is strongly against going to then for help, but everyone basically ignores him and go to ask for help. Hours of explanation and proof giving later the GF (Gladiator and Fishermen, got tired of writing it out) group sadly tells them that they cant really help. Until Ran (who was previously gone searching the surrounding area and making sure it was safe) appears high up on a tree (cause I just can't get the image of Ran on a tree and looking comfortable and confident as hell out of my head), and says that maybe Kelalen can help, if not going to Foolish may be a good alternative. Isaac, and Grievous are extremely against going back (at this time a 2 months have past since they left Kelalen)n saying it could be dangerous but Ran just aboustely shoots them down, along with Watson and Jackie agreeing with Ran, and Karls group agreeing to it. They head off to Kelalen. And Jackie is extremely excited at the potential of going to see Foolish finally. And it'd probably be like a sub au where the brothers au is the main backbone for it but at a certain point it separates from the au and becomes its own.

1: Okay, ouch. Can you imagine if Ran brought one of those memories up, and just had Ranbob look confused, or horrified, depending on how quick he realizes what happened? How would Ran react to that realization, both before and after he forgives Ranbob?

3: If nothing else, everyone got some laughs from it-even Benjamin, once his friends were far, far away from his family and not able to teach them more chaos. 

8: Cletus, why are you so happy? Do you just enjoy knowing chaos existed back then? Are you an arsonist? What’s up with you? 

Also, wow. Not cool, other city people, that’s very mean.

Spoons sounds like it’s interesting, I might try it sometime. Did the group just have those cards on them? What other games did they have?

11: Good, put Dream back in the corner, I’m gonna be yelling more. Because, seriously dude? I know you probably exist solely out of spite, but c’mon. Admittedly, from a certain point of view, it could be considered amusing that your first thought was that Ranbob was making himself weaker out of defiance/spite but like. From a more responsible and mature viewpoint, that’s incredibly stupid, and I-just. Buddy, hate to tell you, but I’m pretty sure that’d just be a you thing. Besides you were in Ranbob’s head, didn’t he think Ran was dead? It doesn’t even make sense. Good lord, I’m half-tempted to get the broom and chase you around like you’re a particularly unruly barn cat. 

------

3: First of all, that sounds really scary for Ran. Second of all, are we getting an overprotective arc?

4: Kind of sad, but understandable, they’re dealing with the situation as best they can.

10: Even if the group was provoked by the townspeople? Potions sound really cool, wish I could make those in real life, tbh.

13: W-what do you mean ‘that’s exactly what they did’? Anon, is your friend, like, a legit gremlin? I’m spooked. 

14: Foolish takes one look at Jackie, wearing a smile that exactly matched Tubbo’s when he was about to cause chaos, and immediately nopes out of that. He knows that face, and he will not be getting tangled into a fight with a goblin child today, no sir. I’m sure Jackie tries regardless though. (Also, that sounds like that goes horribly, do we get an overprotective ender-sibling, for whoever gets captured or used as blackmail, if that’s what you do?)

15: I love all of these so much, oh my gosh. Baby Ran seeing the fishes and following his big brother around. Poor Ranbob’s face when his baby brother cursed one day, Ran trying to carry all of his haunting. I’m in tears, honestly. 

Umm...I can’t think of anything right now, to be honest. If I ever do have a question or idea though, I’ll through it on the Brothers AU tag for you to check out, I guess. 

Oh, this sounds really cool. The part about them just ignoring their local time traveler when they’ve just time traveled particularly amuses me, as does Jackie wanting to see Foolish-I feel like Foolish may be a little more than terrified to see both Tubbo and Jackie back, honestly. Why was Ran willing to help them so much? What did they do to offer proof? How did Ranbob react once they proved who they were? How does all the group get along? Are they Ranboo’s haunting, and if so, if Ranboo gets close with his descendants, does he merge his hauntings with theirs? How does the time group feel about the Brothers fighting, and Ranbob’s possession?

[system-of-a-feather]

Vent on Shitty / Narcissistic Parents (tw gaslighting maybe?)

Honestly a thing about wanting to go into mental health fields that are somewhat related to my personal experiences in life sucks regarding family. I am passionate about personality disorders, development of individuals and development of disorders as a response to environment and trauma, dissociation and all that stuff for reasons beyond my personal experiences and how personal the topics are. Yeah, I probably wouldn’t have gotten this into dissociative theory and all that if it wasn’t brought up in my therapy, but I was researching aspergers, autism, adhd, and the personality disorders way before I even started therapy / knew I hand mental health issues.

Back then, it was completely cool for me to want to be a psychiatrist (not currently something I want to be btw). It was a topic I was interested in and it was a viable career and if I wanted to research into it, it was just an act of passion and interest in a topic.

Now though that my family knows I have mental health issues and one knows I “claim” to have a trauma-induced disorder, it is all know so easily disqualified, silly, and seen as me “not coping well,” trying to blame them for me being “sensitive” and me trying to live out and learn how to fake my mental health better.

For an update, I got invited to have an interview with the lab around my campus researching the effects of childhood trauma on children, their memory, and how they are interviewed legally, and I’ve been super excited and really wanting to tell people. I told my fiance, I told my friends. For a bit I wanted to tell my mom, told myself that it wasn’t a good idea and I probably shouldn’t, but reasoned if I was gonna go after this as a career, she was bound to find out. I figured since she loves hearing how I succeed (so she could brag about it to her co-workers and live vicariously), maybe she wouldn’t be so bad about it.

Of course, she “was supportive” and was happy for me, but she also was doing her usual extremely distracted, trying not to make eye contact or add substantial commentary and to remain reserved air and did have to bring in the commentary that “I don’t think you really had it bad. You had a better family and childhood than most people, better than I did at the very least.”

And its just like... great. Sometimes I wish I just had not made the attempt to let you in on this and my mental health as I would have otherwise been able to have genuine support for my passions and career without it being made into something about her and a topic for her to try to remind me that she was “a good parent” and that “I shouldn’t be traumatized”.

Yeah Lucille and I made progress with her at one point where she seemed to come to the realization that we at least had a less than ideal childhood, but how quickly did she revert back to the illusion that everything was fine and she was a good parent and we all walked out mentally well.

Its just...

Honestly, I could become a leading researcher for trauma and dissociation, I could be a professor on it, I could become the most famous and best person at treating it, and I am pretty darn sure they’d still be like “Oh silly you Riku, thinking you were traumatized, how would you know. You just have high expectations for parents and don’t know what real families are like.”

Yeah just forget that it kept me up for two hours or so having a part that I don’t know going through flashbacks of some sort and putting me in a place where I had all the physiologic responses to fear and being unsafe. Forget that I legit have memory issues and alters. Forget that I have been diagnosed by four different professionals with PTSD. Forget that I’ve been diagnosed with DID by two different professionals. Forget all of that.

I just am hyper fascinated with trauma disorders and want to be cool and edgy and part of the group and make them feel like bad parents

Jesus christ fuck them. I swear if they saw a therapist for more than five seconds they’d both be hyper untreated narcissists - both of my parents jesus.

Like I don’t hate them like Aderis does, I really don’t. But I also dont give them the chance or can tolerate them like Lucille does. I try to because actually having parents would be nice but I suppose out of my siblings, I am the only one that is able to see just how pervasive their toxic bullshit runs and how flat out deaf they are to anything that might conflict with their beautiful image.

Anyways, thats just a vent about my parents tbh.

-Riku (Host)

[queen-of-hearts92]

Revue Starlight 11: Requiem for a Stage Girl.

First sight of blood spilled in the show! Um, hooray?

For the previous episode go here!

To go to the start of these posts, go to the Prelude!

YOOO! We are near the end everyone! Can you mcfucking believe it?! Man, this anime was a fucking ride and I loved it! God this is good, and gay! Anyways! Episode 11 was an emotional ride, oooo boy! Let’s waste no more time and get right to it then!

This time I couldn’t settle on a song title or lyric for this post I liked so I made one up! A requiem is a musical piece thats often played at a funeral. Hikari is pretty much treat like she’s fucking dead plus I like how it sounded.

>It’s the final countdown! *trumpets play*

We start where the previous episode left off, Karen falling rapidly off the platform. She is still in shock. Karen lands in the water that surrounds the stage and luckily she’s in a place where physics don’t matter so she has landed there safely. Giraffe announces Hikari as the winner of the auditions, he goes “ok time to harvest that starlight for your wish, what you want?”. All the other Stage Girls below watch and wait to see what stage Hikari will wish for. There’s an awkward silence before Hikari gives her answer, she doesn’t want it. Giraffe is surprised, Hikari says she doesn’t need any fuel for her wish. Perplexed, Giraffe asks if she plans to provide her starlight and only her starlight for the fuel. Hikari says, “Didn’t you want to see an unpredictable stage?” confirming that yes she wants to give herself up so no one else's is taken. She grips her knife blade hard enough to cut her hand causing it to bleed. The blood drips onto, not the ground but onto Hikari’s metal badge making anyone watching this go yooo.

Giraffe accepts her request. The tiara is on Hikari’s head as Giraffe announces that the audition duels are over and Hikari’s request was granted. We zoom out a bit to see a giant version of the tiara encircle Hikari, disjointed sounds play and then we hear the sound of a large door closing. Hikari vanishes, only position zero and Giraffe remain. Karen lies in the water too stunned to say or do anything. Position zero is shown one last time before the lights go out, plunging the screen into darkness.

It’s all over.

And then we get the opening.

*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yup that’s me, you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

One day after the final auditions, there's a notice on a bulletin board. Hikari has apparently transferred out of school. Karen is confused to say the least. She and Mahiru go to the office to ask their teacher whats up. The teacher confirms that yes Hikari left, all the documents have been filled out and they are stamped with Giraffe’s logo. Karen asks where Hikari went exactly but their teacher brushes her off and says doesn’t know. So yes the school is in on all this magic stage bullshit. Karen tries calling Hikari, but her phone has been disconnected. Cause that’s not incredibly alarming at all.

Two days after the final audition, turns out Hikari left all of her things behind. All of it, cause that isn’t alarming at all. Karen pulls out the Starlight book, Nana and Junna are concerned.

Three days after the final audition, Karen calls the London school to see if Hikari is there. Doing her best to speak english while Mahiru holds a notebook with the english words to help her. Futaba and Kaoruko are nearby watching them. Karen’s call was in vain though, Hikari isn’t there either.

One week after the final audition, Karen and Mahiru go to the police for help. They sit with two officers to talk to them. Officer 1 says that Hikari did file the correct documents to leave school but Karen is like “I mcfuckin doubt that.”. The officers are like ok ok, we’ll ask a few more questions then. They ask where Karen and Mahiru last saw Hikari and it hits both of them that saying “on an underground stage with a talking giraffe” would just make them sound crazy, they can’t answer that question. Well shit.

Two weeks after the final audition, Karen sit in the subway station texting Hikari hoping she’ll respond. She’s sent several messages actually. But no response, at all. Karen looks at her phone sadly.

Three weeks after the final audition, the final cast list for the Starlight play has been posted. It’s legit the same exact cast as last time. Alrighty then.

One month after the final audition, she goes to the Tokyo Tower shop alone and stares sadly at the lamp display.

Seven months after the final audition, it’s now December. Karen and Mahiru sit on Karen’s bed still calling Hikari’s phone, and texting it. Still no response. Karen gets up and put her crown hair clip on, she says “Let’s go Mahiru.” and the two leave to go to school.

Mr. White and Hikari’s suitcase being left behind is a HUGE indicator that Hikari’s disappearance isn’t normal at all.

We go to Nana and Junna walking to school, they’re in winter coats. Nana comments on how cold it is, Junna says it’s the coldest day this year and references Nana’s time loop by saying that Nana probably hadn’t experienced cold like this in awhile. Nana is like “yeahhhh.”. The two come across Mahiru and Karen at a mailbox, Karen is trying to contact Hikari via snail mail now. Nana asks Karen if she’s cold and gives her a hug saying “Hot Banana!”. The four of them smile and then Karen says via voice over the contents of the letter she sent. She talks about everyone preparing for the Starlight play. We see a pile of letters Karen has sent to Hikari, they’ve all been returned so no luck with the snail mail either.

Jun Jun certainly thinks you are Nana! *runs*

It’s now the evening, the girls are still working on the play. Junna is writing stuff down on a clipboard and Nana comes in with food for the stage crew. Nana and Junna are called away from the group to run though the script for the play. We go to our girls and Karen, isn’t doing too well. Ameniya (the script writer if you don’t recall) asks if Karen was injured, Karen says no. So she’s like “so, why the fuck are you performing so badly??”. Sanai (the director if you don’t recall) hits the mark by asking if it’s because of Hikari. Ameniya is about to tell Karen to get over it when Mahiru goes “LET’S NOT.” so she stops herself from saying that. Ameniya apologizes and is like “just try to focus ok?” Sanai says “If you aren’t feeling up to doing this role its ok, we can get someone else to do it”. Wow, now that’s a comfort fail right there. Anyways, Junna and Nana arrive and they get back to rehearsal.

While going through the scenes, Karen is still distracted. She starts wonder what was wrong with her, why does she not feel anything while performing? No joy, no fear, nothing. Karen stops practicing all together concerning everyone in the room. She questions why she wanted to be on stage in the first place. Hikari is gone, why should she bother? She speaks aloud saying she loves the stage but she doesn’t know why. Then, a realization hits her like a truck. She knows now what Hikari meant when she said you lose the most important thing to a stage girl if you lose the auditions. Karen’s starlight wasn’t taken by the stage but, with Hikari completely gone it might as well have been stolen from her. Karen realized that this did happen to Hikari, she starts to cry. She says she gets it but also doesn’t but she does. She says her realization aloud that Hikari lost her starlight. Karen cries out Hikari’s name and has an emotional breakdown in the practice room.

Yeah this is the expression I’d make too if I discover a magic ass stage gives you severe depression and it’s already done that to your gf.

It’s the next day, Karen is in her bed with the covers over her head. The other girl are outside sitting at a table together, they all know the truth now about the price of losing the auditions. They are all disturbed by this revelation and the mood is somber. We learn why Maya reacted the way she did to Hikari in episode one, it was the lack of any emotion whatsoever in her eyes. Maya says that since Hikari’s starlight was stolen she became a dead stage girl. Claudine points out that all of them still have their starlight and Futaba comes to the conclusion that was because Hikari didn’t steal it from them. Kaoruko asks why Hikari would do that. Nana gives a reason, Hikari couldn’t bring herself to do such a thing. Put someone through the same pain as she suffered put Karen through that pain. Futaba is like “well shit she saved all our asses then.” Nana says that Hikari ended up losing all of her starlight and wonders where she disappeared to.

Back with Karen, she’s looking at the childhood photo of herself and Hikari. Karen sits up and wonders if Nana was right, the Starlight play is a sad story about parting. She opens up the Starlight book and even though she isn’t sure if she can read this without Hikari she gives it a try anyways. Then, an idea comes to mind. Later, Mahiru comes home to Karen translating the Starlight book from English to Japanese. She’s pleased that Karen’s motivation came back. Then we get a montage of Karen translation the Starlight book and she even gets some help from her friends. After the montage, we see Karen has gotten to the end. And we find out what happens to Claire after Flora falls from the tower, Claire was punished for the sin of trying to seize the stars and was sealed into the tower just like the other goddesses in there. A new sinner, imprisoned away in this horrible tower thing.

The moral of the Starlight play is if you try for a happier ending you can go fuck yourself. Time to change that ending yes?

Karen is like, well this part of the ending isn’t in the play at all. Then she figures out where Hikari is, she’s imprisoned in the tower just like Claire was in the story. Karen is like “HOLY FUCK, I GOTTA GET TO THAT ELEVATOR!” and runs down the hallway towards it. On the way she grabs the same crowbar Hikari had used in episode three and gets to the elevator. She says while trying to break the elevator door down that where Hikari was isn’t their stage. They haven’t stood on their stage yet! Karen shouts that they haven’t Starlighted yet as she swings the crowbar down, the red light next to the elevator turns on. And, as if the school itself is responding to her, all the fucking lights turn on too. Karen finally is able to pry the door open, light next to the elevator is now blue. She looks down the stairs into the yawning void, here she comes motherfucker.

As Karen descends down the stairs, we get a new song! It’s an interlude. Junna appears next to Karen on the stairs, she goes “So, seizing the stars is a sin? Guess us Stage Girls are all sinners then. But fuck it, who cares if we’re seen as sinners. I don’t care! I’m going for that star anyways!” We pass by Junna’s props as they go down the stairs. Junna stops walking and tells Karen to tell Hikari that she will be waiting for her on the stage. Karen nods and they wave to each other as Karen continues onward. Mahiru walks down the stairs with Karen next, she says “We’re from different places and have different stories but we all met on the same stage. We discovered our starlight together.” Mahiru’s props are passed by, Mahiru stops walking and tells Karen to tell Hikari that she will see her on the stage. 

Next is Kaoruko and Futaba, they don’t walk down the stairs with Karen but they stand in one of their props (the dojo area). They both say that us Stage Girls are united as one by the stage. They ask Karen to tell Hikari that they will see her on the stage. Karen walks with Nana next, she says “All stages come to an end, so we should burn as brightly as we can while we’re there.” Nana’s props are passed by. Nana tells Karen to tell Hikari that she will be waiting for her on the stage. Karen and Nana wave to each other and Karen continues onward.

Claudine travels with Karen next, they take a gold elevator downwards. Not just any elevator through, the same one from the Starlight play. She says, “The stage keeps us going and it's where our hearts belong. It’s the stage the fulfills us.” Maya continues what Claudine was saying as she and Karen walk down the stairs, “Stage girls can be reborn endlessly, hence even if we fall we can get back up again.” Claudine says, in French, that she will be waiting for Karen and Hikari on the stage. Maya also says she will be waiting on the stage. Karen finally reaches the entrance to the theater, the other girls sit at the bottom of the stairs to see her off. They will all be waiting on the stage for her and Hikari. Karen goes inside, and the door shuts behind her.

Zettai. Unmei. Mokushioku.

No background music plays as Karen enters the stage, it's dark and it looks like the water is gone. And for the very first time, Giraffe isn’t present at all. There's only a small section of the Star Tower here. Something is wrong. Suddenly we hear a cell phone ring, Hikari’s phone sits on position zero plugged into an electrical socket. All the messages Karen sent to Hikari start flooding in. Karen runs over and picks up the phone, the phone turns into a ticket. A ticket for a show. She looks up and the Star Tower section now has an opening, Karen announces her name and class and walks towards the opening into the unknown. The credits now play.

But. There’s a post credit scene, Hikari is naked in a pink sandy wasteland. Her cape is stuck on the branch of a brush and the tiara lies in the sand. The Tokyo Tower lays on its side in the sand a little bit aways. Hikari says she remembers her promise with Karen. The episode ends here.

I’m sure she’s fine. This is fine.

>How to save your girlfriend from a pink hellscape: Discussion edition!

-Well well everybody we got ourselves a nice set up episode! I suspected that it would be a set up one. Also every passing episode, my fear of the stage grows. Hahaha. Ha.

-I fucking told y’all it's ALL the girls who lose get their starlight taken and not just second place! Not like that was hard to fucking know like, sorry I just saw folks going “only 2nd place loses their starlight” and I got annoyed. Good to have verbal confirmation man.

-So! 7 months have passed in universe, it's December now. Likely close to Christmas or New Years. SAVE HIKARI FOR CHRISTMAS KAREN!

-Hikari is pretty much just gone. Her paper says she transferred but all her shit is still at the dorm and her phone was disconnected. The paper was marked with a giraffe symbol which means the school is for sure in on it. So “SHE SENT ALL THE PROPER PAPERS IN” MY ASS. Like, god. Fuck, poor Hikari. ;;

--Also gotta take an aside to say everyone who called Hikari a snake or anything of that nature post episode 10 fuckin take that shit back cause she saved our girls! Hikari is good.

-While I figured that the school was in on this shit, I gotta rant angrily about them. I know they fictional but it always gets my goat (fictional or irl) when adults who are supposed to look after kids don’t do so and even worse when they let something like a severe depression causer creature even near these kids. So here I go! Fuck you Seisho Academy! You irresponsible selfish assholes, how dare you let this stage creature come here and feed off of your students. The fuck is wrong with you?! And then you lose track of a kid?! Really?! Also how is letting eight girls get depression gonna fucking help ya?! Like oh shit you just lost eight students good fucking job. What the fuck. I’m gonna go fight ya, meet me in the fucking pit.

-Even though Karen’s starlight wasn’t taken, the stage ended up taking what was most important to Karen anyways. It was Hikari, without Hikari’s existence she can’t muster up passion for performing on the stage anymore. Karen’s emotional breakdown was heartbreaking good god. Thankfully she bounced back!

-The other girls know the truth about the stage now, and realized that Hikari pretty much saved all of them from losing their starlight. This isn’t how I thought the girls finding out the truth would go but this reveal worked really well. Like, they heard the fucking giraffe talk about fuel and shit so when Karen realized what happened to Hikari they put two and two together. Also, looks like I was right about why Maya reacted to Hikari the way she did in episode one! Yeehaw.

-Turns out after Flora was zapped to the ground, Claire became trapped in the tower for her sins. Called it! Yes! I think it’s interesting that to find the truth we have to go back to the plays roots. Going back to your roots to rediscover your passion is something that’s happened a lot in the show. I like this theme.

-Well would you look at that, Karen’s princely vibe is coming into play! Hikari is a princess now like, she’s literally locked in a tower. And if Giraffe is a Kirin there’s even a dragon to fight! Fairy tale imagery is fun. Also oh man if Karen like gives her cape to Hikari I’m gonna cry.

--Also also, hey rev star. We got lots of girls dipping each other and that’s great but please, we need to see a bridal carry DO IT! The perfect opportunity is right here! Right now! Karen can do it! It happened in Hikari’s dream in the prequel manga Overture! Make Hikari’s dream come true DO IT!

-The lack of music when Karen walks into the stage is creepy as fuck. Makes the phone sounds all the more startling. Also the entire stage was much creepier than usual and that’s saying something! The lights in the audience were off, a good chunk of the tower was gone, and Giraffe wasn’t there at all. This, is alarming to say the least. Even more alarming, the stage is still fucking here. It hasn’t moved to a new location, why? Was it...waiting? Waiting on Karen to come and continue the tragedy? Jesus christ, this stage man. ono

-Hikari’s phone turns into a ticket and I. Fuck. That was fuckin wild. Really good editing in this show oh man.

-Hey guess what? CROWN SOUNDS ARE HERE AGAIN. 20 seconds in, fuck. I don’t really have time to snag a audio clip for it but, just letting you know it's fucking back and still fucking scary.

-I loved how Junna’s stair moment was her going “we’re sinners now? Ok, I’m still grabbing that star though! You can’t stop me!” God I love her, Jun Jun is great!

-Small detail but I wanted to mention it anyways but during the whole episode we never see Maya and Claudine too far from each other, always together. Even during the staircase part, Claudine was only a few steps away from Maya. Like quite a difference to see that right? They meant it when they said they’ll always stay together in the previous episode. It’s a cute detail and its nice to see their relationship going so well! I love them.

-So I wrote about the stage and its favoritism towards certain Stage Girls but it got really fucking long so it will be its own post one day!

-I love the Evangelion like imagery at the end there, this shit is gonna get surreal and I am ready!

-I wish all the Stage Girls were going on this rescue mission but oh well. The scene with Karen going down the staircase was so nice and sweet and I loved seeing all her friends support her! But, this part also felt like a goodbye. Like Karen isn’t coming back...hope I’m wrong.

-Each girl that walked down with Karen was in the same order as their duels. With Junna going first and Maya going last, nice touch!

-An Interlude is a musical piece played between acts of a stage production. So, does this mean we going to act 2 now? Possible season 2? Hope so!

>This speculation was brought to you by: Put that stage back where it came from or so help me!

-I wrote theory about why I think the stage is from the planet Venus! Check it out!

-Since Hikari lost her clothes cause she’s in the tower. This might mean that this shot from the opening is telling us that Karen will end up staying with her in there. They will then, literally become starlight. Just like Karen says in her audition speech. If this is the case then that could leave this show open for a season 2. That would be kinda sad tho, but it seems foreshadowed hm. The other options I’m thinking is that they both get out just fine or only one of them gets out. Or maybe they just, end up on fucking Venus and it’s like oh shit we gotta get back to earth. That option is a bit out there yes but hey, you never know!

-I’ve been shouting about the Starlight Gatherer for awhile now. We still don’t know who it is, I’m banking on Giraffe still! Or maybe the stage itself? Gdi I’m just gonna wait and see at this point, I don’t have any new theories here. Heres a good video about the Starlight Gatherer if you want some more speculation! Oh! And, let me just. Drop the little poem we saw about it right here:

Starlight Gathering is Forgiveness of Sins

Starlight Gathering is a Wonder of Night

Starlight, The Shining of Hope

Your Shines are the Starlight

The Starlight Gatherer

Gives The Beast from Over the Garden Wall vibes here...I don’t like it. ono

-I’ve pointed this out before but I’ll say it again. In her stage outfit, Hikari gets a crown of stars around her head. In artwork often the divine or saints get a circle of stars as a crown like that, these are known as Crowns of Immortality. I have been wondering how this related to Hikari, but I think I know now. Martyrs can also get crowns like that in artwork, and Hikari just martyred herself to save everyone's starlight.

>All good plays must come to an end.

I, can’t believe we’re near the end. Where does the time go? But wow, I love this anime! My gut feeling was right! Am I ready for the end? No. But it will come either way, let's enjoy while it's here my dudes! That’s how shit like this rolls, burns brightly but it doesn’t last forever so we should enjoy it while its here.

See you on the final stage for episode 12!

[obannthepunished]

Thiiiis weeks notes yall

unrelated matt finished with his usual speech but threw a “i love you very much” in there and i legit started crying bc that registers in my very broken brain as “yeah this is actually true” and that hasnt happened w/ anyone OTHER than matt in three years so yeah. fun

anyway, hope yall r ready for some heavy readin

unless i missed some, 826LA gets $800 this week from the nat 1′s so thats fun

rashnorkthings replied to your post: Thiiiis weeks notes yall unrelated matt finished...

they actually rolled 13 nat 1’s according to critrolestats

So I did miss some! I didn’t start deliberately counting for a while so eh, my bad

Yasha slept outside in the alley 8(

New woman at the barm human, 50s, black hair

"Fjord! Fjord, dont you DARE have fun without us!" - Molly, running away from skele vs person convo for fjord

trebuchet- throwing sandbags @ basket/line??? Either way 5 copper for three throws + Fjord pays for both himself and Molly

fjord gets...... two nat ones in a row. hits a mother in the face. rips a sandbag all over himself. Yasha and Jester pick him up and he gets ANOTHER nat 1 yasha and jester THROW FJORD.

Molly gets 19 on his first throw. ofc he takes it with a big ass bow. Jester takes one throw, rolls 6, straight up, STRAIGHT down, yasha + moll detangle her Yasha rolls 4 Molly gets a nice fuckin strawberry.

caleb nat 20s on a cup switchy game nott plays nat1 ofc.

Beau (+ Molly) lookin for some wild fuckin mead "dyou have mead that doesnt taste like piss?" "... i have mead that'll get ya fucked up. might still taste like piss." both beau and molly get the stupid strong mead

hammer bell game but with a rock. titans grasp? yasha + jester play YASHA RAGES. SHE. RAGEs. LOVE IT. 17, it tilts but doesnt turn over. roll2 24 !!!! and it TURNS FUCK YEAH

Caleb counts her money as she does from like 10 feet away i love him

jester tries and gets a fucking NAT 20 i love her, it rolls twice she only gets 7 gold tho cause yasha won the 44#

Jester cuts off a slice of caramel apple for a small child aw she buys them all caramel apples, except yasha who gets a candied apple instead bc theres only 6 caramel

"caleb! caleb! can you run detect magic on any of this?" -M caleb does that whilst molly plays distraction @ the tapestry booth *

symbol of the platinum dragon, very VERY gaudy, tapestry, run by a mid 30s half elf. that one is 10 gold. 7 feet top to bottom. oh yeah i forget mol has the platinum dragon necklace thats fun, thats a note to self

nott pulls the "caleb's my dad" "he just humansplained me" - nott oh Caleb's doing some archery "if you want to have a laugh, lets have me doing some physical sport" - Caleb

caleb ties his hair back awww bb, uses wire (later takes it out but still)

Nott gets a perfect bullseye on the far target AND the middle target, gets a bullseye on the middle + splits it and on the close target too

yasha (re rats): I thought... that was dinner...? Molly: were not eating the rats so nott gives her a rat candied/caramel rats.......... no

jester disguises herself and desecrates an alter but like, for the traveler so

beaus going arm wrasslin gainst a burly dude. and she loses ofc. yashas goin up against an even BIGGER dude. shes covering her face w her hair blass jester shouting about how beautiful her hair is he recognises her as xorhasian and she gets mad af and nat 20s him super hard but he catches it 8( nott distracts him with "kendall is getting to second base with your wife right now" Y: 21, twice, she's close to gettin him!!! 14 and theyre back to the middle. 14 and BACK TO THE MIDDLE!, 17 and shes on the push, 22 and theyre BACK to the middle fucks sake. 21 and shes succeeding again on the puuuush (i am so stressed), 19 YASHA WINS Jester wrasslin Nott to stop nott shooting gunther (sp) "BREAK HIS ARM OFF YASHA"

Yashas invited to join a merc group oof, but fjord chips in that shes spoken for bless

calebs busy trying to talk his way into the archive of the cobalt soul... cept he doesnt need to cause its open to the public with an escort. asks abt the hall of... erudition??? iridition? i shouldlook this up. that knowledge open only to stuuudents?? of the hall. and the headmaster "ormed?? hass???" thats what it sounds like idk

"i turn a corner and ffffffuhkin book it"

beau is so judgemental lmao Beau: cobalt's a good colour on you caleb: what? Beau: (shrugging) you look good in blue [break]

tournament time

"what is your name???" "Caleb and beauregard can you front me 16 gold" beau: beau: beau: here.>:I

Liam: Kitty. thats just the auto for him now frumpkin does fail the stealth check tho 8( hes not kicked just carried out and disappeared into the pocket dimension.

i wish i could hear good bc im decently sure liam made a mostly in character gag about caleb not taking his clothes off yet

FORMALLY DECLARED WAR ON XORHAS HOLY SHIT "return word to [the king] that Zadash prepares to join the front"

fjord tries to glean info so hard

caleb: it just occured to me, that starting tomorrow it will be more important than ever that we stick together jester: all of us? or just you and nott?

Beau reveals to Caleb that she is/was?? is?? part of the cobalt soul + can get him into the library, shows him the scripture on her belt as explanation*

clerics from the house of the platinum dragon out there as healers

menagerie coast just full of friendly folk confirmed [darrow's group is menagerie coast at visual identification]

half giant with spikes and terrifying jester: i hope we dont have to fight him beau: i want to be him "Germichael??? jermikael???" i like that one lmao

caleb puts his hood up.

big froggo creature to the asshole arm wrestle group. leader is swallowed and carves his way out

mighty nein is second. two doors, one creature, beast has large tentacle like arms, greyish brown mass 15 ft, giant mouth teeth, three tendrils, stinks real bad knew i shoulda brought kalvins monster manual to bed w me

Beau: 24 Molly 23 Creature Caleb: 18 Nott: 16 Jester, yasha, fjord: 6(66) beau uses her two WOODEN SWORDS (flavour to her unarmed strikes) two attacks, 13 is too low to hit

molly vm: YOUVE GOT NO ARMS (no effect) radiants his swords

gil continuesto fuck marisha.

NEW SPELLS!!!! caleb casts enlarge??? on yasha, doubles her size, cool shit

14 is its ac

hellish rebuke from jes: YOU STILL DONT HAVE ANY STUPID ARMS

yasha nat 20s does a total offff 41 dmg gets the hdywtdt, stabs through its whole entire head

jester medicines at beau for her poison, manages to cure it.

the line whatever, gunthers group goes down

jester gets on a wall. Giant fucking wolves???

Liam nat 1s 826la is gettin gud

Order: Beau (nat 20s) Jester Molly Yasha Nott Fjord Caleb

beau tries to treat the wolf as a dog bless

Molly's VM: BAD DOGGY (butt turkey lmao)and it hits!!!

oh shit fucking ice breath, 15 foot cone, hits yasha jester and caleb jes is cold resistant but we did already know that so

other one goes @ fjord + molly a LOT OF DAMAGE fjord saves molly doesnt. 26 points.

yasha nat 20's does a decent chunk of damage fjord hexes THAT one

caleb maximillians earthen grasps the one NOT hexed

jester runs across the wall and comes down on the back of the hexed wolf with her handaxe **

molly stabby, misses one, nat 1's "oh my god its a natural fucking one" which was fuuuurrry enpurrtaining

earthen grasp one breaks free, but that is its action sooo beau pulls by the tail and stops it fuckin movin on her attack of opportunity

yash NAT 20S AGAIN KICK ASS BITCH

fjord finally summons the wastehunter falchion, which nobody else woulda known about whoomph

beau: i wanna crack it in the nuts and then CRACK it over the back nat 1 on the back, 17 on the nuts :b ** "SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS" flurry of blows but it misses

molly gets the hdywtdt on the second, and cheshire smiles it to the extreme

jester casts prayer of healing on all but nott who is unharmed

mountain makers go out, owlbears fuckin destroy them

stubborn stock? stalk? displacer beasts, i dont need matt to tell me what these are, one of them goes down and darrow is trapped and mauled for a moment, one of the fighters goes down, and FINALLY they fuck up the other beast

caleb calls frumpkin back "just to have him with me" they fight for fucking ages honestly

hill giant!!! FUCK (liam takes a photo and good job son you got that now)

[tumblunni]

Well that sure was a steven universe episode

NAVY YOU TOTAL BASTARD FUCK I have no idea how this worked but the show actually made me cheer for her being revealed as evil?? And like.. so far she is literally the only member of the rubies that IS evil. Like, i mean, defining evil as someone who understands the whole damn thing and willfully chooses to make the bad choice, out of selfish morals. The other ruby squad members are on homeworld’s side yeah but they never seemed EVIL I really am very invested in this twist that the quiet one who did nothing in every other episode except have funny oneliners is actually a sadistic asshole who (for all we know) could have been lying to her teammates too and wants to backstab them as well. I mean wouldnt that be a good villain?? A member of the lowest ruby caste who’s grown used to putting on this fake agreeable persona but is plotting to backstab literally everyone and find some way to rise above her station. Also it’;d be a way she could still have a sympathetic reveal in the end and potentially be redeemed even after refusing this offer of redemption, its a sympathetic motive to become heartless and cruel because you’re treated like a slave by your species and doomed to a life of ‘dumb muscle’. Also it makes up for how the show was all ‘rubies are dumb’ which always kinda bugged me with all the morals about how you can choose what you want to be. i hope maybe someday everyone gets called out on that, now we can potentially have a very smart and manipulative recurring ruby villain! Also it was good to have a shocking twist and a new villain after a while of not much happening but cute slice of life episodes. Not that I dont love them, but theyre more engaging when there’s an ongoing threat to theorize about at the same time. I just REALLY hope navy does actually rise up into being her own recurring villain, instead of just ‘nah shes totally loyal to the ruby squad and she gets them back and now all of them are evil’. I’d wanna see how cool it could be if the ruby squad got to go against her, like maybe steven is trying to convince them that navy is really a backstabber and theyre just like NO WAY SHES TOTALLY LOYAL and then while theyre distracted fighting each other Navy steals a comm device thing like peridot did and sells everyone out to yellow diamond, making sure to mention that all the other rubies were totes incompetant the whole time. It could be so damn cool if Navy ends up persisting throughout the whole story and becomes like an evil vizier to yellow diamond or something?? Also i’d like it if she got a name other than Navy, now we know she prrrrrobably wasnt exactly happy about steven giving her that one. I dunno if she’d have some moniker of her own that she always wanted to be called after years of being treated as interchangeable, or whether she’d insist that she is the one true Ruby and everyone else can just fuck off. And man it could be so cool if this could be a chance to have a more Ruby-centric episode where she gets to have a rivalry and a plotline separate from Sapphire, like how sapphire mostly handled the homeworld zoo on her own.

Oh and I also liked the plotline of lapis getting really confused and self hating when seeing someone else seemingly recover faster than her, thats quite damn relateable to people who have depression. In this case it seemed more like lapis was projecting though, I think even if navy’s nice persona was real its not like theyre on equal footing. Lapis was depressed and traumatized, navy just simply wasnt. Its not ‘oh navy can get over it faster’, its just that navy was never depressed in the first place. And people have different personalities, so different things can be scarier to them, I felt so bad at lapis feeling like she was weak cos it was scary to her when she got here. And MAN I felt like laughing too at the end! It was a good way to make the ending not 100% sad if we can at least have the consolation of a joke afterwards. Also it helps the audience get even more fuckin mad at navy, jesus christ! And I felt semi proud that I started seeing the twist coming as the episode went on, it was just like Navy’s persona started becoming less ‘actual happy person’ and more ‘asshole Neurotypical with a capital N who thinks that everyone can just choose to stop being depressed’. One of those people who says horrible things and thinks because they’re saying it ‘politely’ its ‘just my opinion’ and anyone who gets offended is the bad guy. Tho I could have also liked this plot equally well if it turned out navy was legit about being reformed, and legitimately was an optimistic person, and her and lapis could have worked out their differences by talking about it. It was just a lot more cathartic this way if lapis’s anxieties had to be resolved in a short runtime, yknow? And seriously it makes Navy so much more hateable when you imagine her as one of those ‘sure, jan’ soccer mom type characters. Fluoride in the water caused my son’s autism, Lapis!

Also I dunno how they managed to make this twist not make me angry?? I mean, I really liked Navy in previous episodes and totally assumed she really was the one nice guy teammate of the rubies rather than the sole truly horrid one. I think I just didnt get as much frothing rage as I did when i thought peridot was betraying the team, cos we didnt really see enough of navy. Like.. we didnt KNOW if she was good or not, it was just a foolish assumption based on superficial evidence about how she acts. It seems more like a moral of not doing that, rather than ‘heres someone you love who is a friend and good and here’s 30 episodes of them being awesome and WHOOPS it was all a lie and that person doesnt even exist’. That’s a hard thing to come back from, a similar plotline ruined my experience of Soul Nomad And The World Eaters cos it seemed like the betrayer character got forgived too easily while not really earning it. A good twist deserves more effort put in if you wanna backpedal it!

[secretlyouremeraldroses-blog]

Abuse. Its something that not most understand. its ‘use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse.’ or “treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.” it comes in different forms. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. and many more. Its not seen a lot as it occurs behind closed doors. In most countries its prohibited to hit a child. In other cases its allowed.

I hate it here. I hate it so much here. the wanting to cry but can’t because she’s right in front of me will end up bad terms.

You told me to start working so I can provide things for myself. Yet you tell me to PAY HALF THE BILLS AND RENT on my first SALARY. You tell me this because you want me to experience what its like to have nothing left for myself. I am sorry but did i sign up to be a parent ? Did I tell you to become one ? You had a choice, now you have to deal with that choice you made. Did you not plan this through? You chose to become a parent not me. You chose to have children not me, so provide their needs. Not only support needs [cause thats all  you give] but also emotionally [ as if you know what that means?] 

I already know you well enough. How you are when you have no more money and how you are with your friends. 

Money-wise you get so upset, literally so upset when there’s none left. Yet you were the one who told me that ‘money is just there, it’s easily earned.’ I want to slap you because you yourself don’t take your own advice.

Friends-wise, you are almost lacking. You criticise them. You decide to hate them instead of forgiving when there’s a fight. You let a long-time friendship with good memories slip away. And you involve the kids also. what kind of parent are you for being like that?

Now you FUCKING QUESTION MY FUCKING PRIORITIES. damn right i know you are. If you don’t believe me then why not just follow me wherever i go, to see what the fuck i fucking do. Cause I legit had enough. Enough of the stories you make up in your head. How shallow do you think of me? You both have narrow and dirty brains you have. 

Sometimes I question myself. ‘ Do fathers hearts break when they see their daughters cry or get hurt?’

 I’ve had this conversation with a friend and she told me two types of stories that she encountered that they do. That fathers hearts break when they see their daughters cry or get hurt.

First story. She broke up with her boyfriend. She cried and cried. Her father had seen her cry and came up to her saying ‘ Darling don’t cry, be like your mom, stong and never cried over a guy. You should make them cry.’

Second story. Her mom, her very own mother had assumed that she was a slut. She went to her room crying. Her dad walks in to ask what had happened. She answered him “ My very own mother is questioning my priorities.’ When her father knew about this , he went to her mom and sorted things out. 

This friend of mine was the one who told me that “ Fathers hearts break when they see their daughters cry or get hurt.”.

I told myself that this is not true. You know why? He, himself, hurts me and my sisters. We were getting physically ‘disciplined’ a.k.a. getting abused. Both of them actually. Physically, emotionally, and mentally abused. 

At a farm where no one can see them, was whipping my sister with this elastic, just how a horse would get whipped. As my mom kept whipping her, blood was showing.  My sister screams for HELP or “ Dad please tell mom to stop, i’m bleeding already’. But my dad. My dad just stood there. He did nothing. He did absolutely nothing. He was just standing there, watching, as if he was enjoying the pain that my sister was going through. This had happen a lot when i was young. In many different ways.

Therefore i ask myself that question again. “ Do fathers hearts break when they see their children cry or get hurt? “ I would simply say no. Simple but its the truth that I encountered. 

Another thing, my mom. She is friends with my friends on Facebook. My friend had posted a picture of her studying at our college library. She likes the photo and tells me ‘Oh your friend is in the library studying. She’s so wise’ I respond to her telling her “ Yes i know, she studies more at the library rather than at home although she has a desk at home”. She replies to me “Is that so? Why need to study in the library when you can study at home? “ It clearly shows that she doesn’t know the struggle a student goes through when they study at home. You tend to procrastinate more and get distracted easily with the amount of noise that the family makes and the neighbours kids outside make when they play outside. they still disagree with my statement.  They ALWAYS question my whereabouts so when I posted a picture of me studying in the library, they immediately tell me ‘ YOU DON’T NEED TO POST THAT YOU ARE STUDYING IN FACEBOOK TO HIDE THAT YOU ARE OUT WITH FRIENDS’. do you see the difference ? the difference between how they react between my friends and I ? It’s absolutely DISGUSTING

It hurts to hear that they assume so many things and make up false stories, and only deal with that. Whats worst is that I can’t express these feelings i have because of how little and love they think of me.