#like just thinking of the first scene of the movie where violet goes to the bar to start work

[mon-etoile-sunseeker]

Okay hear me out, the Slytherin skittles are so Coyote Ugly coded. Like Barty & Evan are Bridget and Zoe, Pandora is Cammie, Regulus is Violet but her post-job when she finds her confidence in it, and Dorcas rounds it out as Lil the boss and protector for them from the rowdy crowds. Like pls just imagine it!!!!!!! I was listening to Can't Fight the Moonlight last night and it's now all I can think about and I won't take any criticism on my lil headcanon thank you very much :)

[eightstarr]

i know — van palmer.

summary: you can't remember a life before van, but there was one. there must've been one. it feels ridiculous to think about. you'd rather think about her, rather think about this— two moments then, and two moments now (and so, so many to come).

notes: heyyy i know i said i would post this like a month ago, i fully forgot!! if there was like one person waiting i'm sorry and i love you sm <3 also this ignores the plot entirely and i wanna make that very clear just in case!! it's like a nothing happened and we're all okay au! anyway here's to my loser girl and to whoever also finds themselves staring at the wall in silence thinking about her :)

・。.・゜✧・. ────

THEN.

"You're hogging the blanket," Jackie mutters over a mouthful of popcorn, purple polished nails tugging at the soft fabric.

She's right— you are. "I'm not," you say, and bring your legs close to your chest partly so they can offer some kind of comfort, but mostly so they're not touching the unknown dangers of the floor anymore.

The TV flashes red and Jackie's living room is bathed in it, along with all your faces.

Shauna snorts at a man getting brutally and very unrealistically decapitated on the screen and pulls her own blanket closer to her best friend before she even has to ask. They do that a lot; talk without words. Any other time you would've noticed, thought that's cute and smiled to yourself, but right now you're too terrified.

The movie is bad. Or, that's what you have to keep reminding yourself of. It's lazy in a way that's bordering on comical and needlessly violent in a way that proves that it was written by a man with interesting fantasies. You shouldn't be scared, but you are.

Another death earns you a few minutes of quiet, though you know the build up to the next one will be worse. The characters cry and fret over the dead body of their friend but the killer is nowhere to be seen, disappearing conveniently into the night. You're granted a scene of daylight but the sun comes and goes, and then the screen turns to dark violets and blues again and you're tensing up in your seat.

It's fine, at first— the pretty blonde girl is yielding a kitchen knife and walking around while her muscled boyfriend boards up the windows of the big house. Lottie shifts where she's sitting on the floor next to Laura Lee's legs and whispers about why they would lock themselves in instead of taking their chances outside, which is 'obviously the smartest thing to do'. You don't have time to process what she's saying because suddenly an ax is clawing its way through one of the windows and the characters are screaming and, well, so are you.

"Fuck!" You curse, jumping and landing yourself halfway into Van's lap, the softness of her thighs under your own, your back against her chest.

Van blinks, more startled by your reaction than the scene itself, her hands coming up to steady you and then immediately dropping back down a second after they brush over the cotton of your shirt. She lets out a shaky breath and does not think about how good your weight feels on top of her, because that would be a bad thought, a questionable thought. And it should not have been the first one to pop into her mind. Definitely not. That would be embarrassing. That would be bad.

You cover your eyes with one hand as the sounds of screaming come to a crescendo and hold one of her hands tightly with the other, mumbling sorry, sorry, sorry as if you're doing something wrong. As if you don't know that, even if you were, Van is incapable of being mad at you. Famously so. Everybody knows.

She looks around the room to the rest of the girls. No one is staring, too busy chewing popcorn and wrinkling their noses at the more gruesome special effects. Van turns her head back to you. A million thoughts rush in, overwhelming and unforgiving. Something about the soft tint of chapstick on your lips, the curve of your nose, the shape of your fingers. Things she's noticed before -Van is often greedy of all your details-, but not in this way, never from this close. She can smell your shampoo from here. Somewhere in the back of her mind, over the scent of honey and strawberries, she wonders if she's going insane.

Your body noticeably relaxes as the violence dissipates, your grasp on her hand loosening slightly. When you uncover your eyes, the final girl is clawing her way through the woods. You're unsure of how she got out of the house, but too comforted by the thought of the movie finally coming to an end to care.

Van is scared to say anything, scared to move— if she does, you might push yourself off of her, ignore her for the rest of the night because you're embarrassed. The thought is ridiculous. You'd never ignore her, you're not that kind of person, but it's what she would do. Except she'd probably never be in this position in the first place, because she'd never be brave enough to throw herself on your lap, even if she was as scared as you were. And that's just it anyway, it's not like you chose to do this. You didn't pick her. You would've found the same comfort in anyone's arms. Right? Van feels you shift closer, just slightly, like you're unaware of it. Right?

Her forehead falls on your shoulder as she thinks herself sick.

"It's scary, right?" You whisper, confusing her crisis for fear. Your fingers wrap around her bicep, soft and absentminded when they brush up and down her skin, trying to make her feel better.

Van feels her stomach flip, her hands twitch. In another world, she would wrap her arms around your waist and press her lips to your ear, mumble something stupid like if you say so, baby just to annoy you. Here, though, all she does is nod her head. She whispers back, "Yeah, it is."

She looks up at the screen, tries to be scared, to be invested. You relax further into her, personal and comfortable as if there's no one in the room but the two of you. Van blinks. She can't give you the name of the girl on the screen. A minute passes and your back straightens suddenly, but you don't rush to slide off her lap. You do it carefully, not because you want to but because you're worried about making her uncomfortable. Van wants to pull you back but she's never faced anything as daunting. She comforts herself with the thought that one day she will, a hungry attempt at manifesting or breaking a mental wishbone or something. For now, she follows you with her eyes and feels her anxiety melt away when you notice her staring and give her a smile. The movie's not yet over. She looks back. Who's the bad guy again?

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

NOW.

Van likes to pretend that she's a better cook than she is. Someone else might find it funny, annoying even, but you can't find it anything but cute. You love telling her that you've run out of food and watch her scoff and puff up her chest.

"I'll make you something out of nothing," she'll say. Then she'll open the fridge and bend at the waist, stare at said nothing for a solid two minutes before resurfacing and declaring that she's craving pizza from the place down the street, anyway, so there's no point in cooking.

At the grocery store the next day, you make sure to buy the essentials for the one pasta recipe that she does actually know how to make. Van likes to feel useful. And you like to indulge her every need, maybe a little too much.

You pick the sweetest looking tomatoes for the sauce, no real expertise behind your method— you're not exactly an amazing chef, either, but the two of you do just fine. Someone calls your name in the middle of bagging the last tomato and you turn to meet a face you had almost forgotten about.

"Katie Lopez?" Van asks again, staring at the folded piece of paper with the almost-stranger's number that you'd gotten without asking (a friendly gesture, you're pretty sure) after a slightly lengthy conversation that carried on even after your multiple anyway, I should probably get going's.

You're telling Van about the encounter while washing the tomatoes in the sink, sleeves rolled up. Your cheeks are warm with kisses like they always are when you make it back to her, as if she wants to reward you for it. You've been hers for so long, and she's still amazed at the fact that you come home to her. "Yes," you repeat. "Why is that so shocking?"

"It's not," she says, flicking the paper where it sits on the counter, kinder than her original need to ball it up or light it on fire or something even more dramatic. She moves to open the cabinet and starts putting away the canned goods you've brought. "I just didn't know you guys were close."

"We're not. She was just being polite."

Van hums. For a moment you think she'll let it go, but of course she won't. She doesn't like the thought of someone flirting with you when she's not there and she especially doesn't like the thought of that someone being Katie fucking Lopez, who's most memorable for fingering girls in the bathroom for most of your shared high school experience.

Van clears her throat and the cabinet closes with a thud louder than she intended, definitely not because she was caught up picturing you under Katie's gaze. She means to sound casual, but she's not trying very hard when she asks, "She ever try to get with you?"

You spare her a single glance, as if to check that she's serious. Of course she is. "What, in high school?" You shake your head, chuckling like the idea is funny. "No. She was more into the cheerleader type."

Van knows that you're right. Still, she squints her eyes at you, ginger hair leaning to one side when she tilts her head. "Is that a hint of resentment that I'm hearing?"

You've gotten good at knowing how to handle her jealousy. It's only fair, considering that she's gotten good at handling yours. Neither are ever that serious. "I was making a neutral observation."

You know she's creeping closer before you feel it. You know her too well. "Yeah?" She mutters, her hands on your hips as she presses herself to your back. Her nose is familiarly cold where it brushes against your neck.

You dry your hands and lean back on instinct, and she doesn't flinch at the added feeling of your weight. Van can be a lot like a brick wall, but you don't usually tell her that, unless you're feeling extra sweet and want her to grin like a cocky little shit for the rest of the day. "You were into that type, too."

Van scoffs, a soft gust of air on your neck. "I was into you," she says.

You hum, purely fucking with her. "Maybe."

"May— what the fuck are you talking about?" She pulls away just enough to prove that she's actually offended. And she is, because the idea is ludicrous and yeah, she's taking it personally. You can question Van about anything you want, except for the fact that she's been in love with you for more than half of her life. "When did you ever see me looking at cheerleaders?" She asks.

You and Van work for a lot of reasons. You work because you're different where it matters, enough to balance each other out, and you work because you're the same in everything else. You might've been just teasing her at first, but now the thought does that stupid thing where it starts to linger and -just like she had thought about you and Katie- you can almost picture it in your head, a younger Van standing on the soccer field, her eyes trailing over a girl's short uniform skirt. You roll your eyes, annoyed mostly at yourself. "Oh, don't act like you wouldn't have loved for them to shout your stupid name."

Van chuckles. She can read your train of thought like a book. She knows you too well. "Stupid name, huh? You're cute when you're jealous." And a little mean, too, but in a way that makes her weak in the knees. She won't be telling you that part. You already know, anyway.

You pull the hands that are wrapped around your waist away from you. Van lets you— she wants to see where this is going. "Not jealous," you mutter.

"No?" She teases, half-heartedly disappointed when you don't turn around to let her kiss you.

You look at her over your shoulder and then make eye contact with the piece of paper on the counter, recalling the words of your old classmate. Call me whenever. We should totally hang out. You're too old to be telling people you should 'totally hang out', but Katie Lopez hasn't changed much from the last time you saw her. You hold back the urge to wrinkle your nose at the memory of that same teenager-trying-to-be-cool smirk that she gave you throughout the whole interaction and hum thoughtfully, like you've been tempted. "Maybe I will call her—" you take one step towards the counter in a half assed attempt to reach for the paper but Van is unusually quick as she strides forward and takes it in her hands, tongue poking into the inside of her cheek as she rips it in two. "Van!" You gasp.

"What? Don't tell me you were actually gonna use it," she pouts. "You're breaking my heart, baby."

You try to take the two pieces away from her and all you earn is her breaking it in four, holding it above your head. You're laughing as you slap her shoulder. "God, you're so stupid."

Van raises her eyebrows, mismatched numbers wrinkled in her hand. She drops them on the counter in favor of cupping your face, pressing a contained short peck to your lips. Don't feel bad, she won't hold back for long. "Stupid like my name?"

"I love your name," you shake your head, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love it. Just as long as it's mine to say."

It is yours, but you know that already.

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

THEN.

Van's room smells like the incense you got her. You wonder if she used it just to appease you because she knew you were coming, but it's a silly thought. Van likes you. You know this now. She takes everything you give her (your time, your smiles, your kisses) like it's a precious gift, so you can't imagine that she would neglect an actual gift.

Your grandmother said you should light the incense before a game, to bring you good luck and calm your nerves, and you're not ashamed to admit that you bought Van her own pack the very next day. Everything makes you think about her lately, especially this kind of thing. You're not even sure that the incense works, but why wouldn't you share it with her? She deserves all of it— good luck, a stomach free of nerves, at the very least a nice lingering scent if your grandma's beliefs turn out to be a myth. But you hope they don't.

Your girlfriend is anxious more often than you are, but never really about a game. Van knows that she's good at soccer. She's nervous about other things. Keeping her side of the house clean, being able to afford Sinéad O'Connor tickets, what her mom's mood will be like tomorrow, English assignments but only because she thinks the professor is the coolest guy alive and she wants to impress him even if she won't admit it. And lately, there's another thing. She worries about whether you'll look at her one day and realize that you're too good for her.

You know about some of her anxieties, but clearly not all of them. She can picture your reaction if she were to share the last one with you, how your face would scrunch up and you'd look at her with eyes so loving and so sad. She can almost hear you ask, soft and patient, why would you think that? And she wouldn't know what to say. There's comfort in the fact that the worry is there, but it's not constant. Van only worries about that when you're gone. When you're in front of her, or sitting next to her in class, or talking to her on the phone, it's hard to imagine that you'll ever stop liking her. She takes in your smile, your laughter, your sparkling eyes and she can't think about anything else. You make all of it go away. If you asked her, she would tell you that she thinks the incense works, but only because it came from you.

She can smell it faintly from where she is now, but there are a hundred other things overwhelming her more— the feeling of your legs on either side of her, the sound of your bracelets clinking together when you move your arms to rest them next to her head and cage her in, the sight of you leaning in to kiss her. It's easy to say, she's only been dating you for three months, but Van is sure that she will never get tired of this.

She hums against your lips, something too close to a moan. Her cheeks are red when you pull away, and you're not sure if it was the sound she made or the regretful, kind of embarrassing thing she has to tell you that gave her that reaction. "My mom will be home in, like, five minutes," she says, raspy and breathy.

Her voice distracts you. Your lips are tingling. "Okay," you say, nodding your head even though it takes you another three seconds to actually process what she said.

This is where you sit up, break apart. Neither of you move.

You smile and lean back down to kiss her again, stomach fluttering from the sound of her giggling as you tilt your head back. How are you supposed to stop when she's so fucking— so cute, so handsome, so in love with you. You've never felt so secure of another person's feelings for you before, but it's impossible to doubt Van. She makes you confident, makes sure that you know at all times. Might as well be saying I love you, I love you, I love you between each kiss that she pulls you back into.

It takes everything in you to break away from her, but you have to. "Fuck, okay. I gotta go," you mutter. You have to. You'll see her tomorrow. It should be embarrassing how greedy she makes you.

She watches as you sit up on her lap, your skirt bunched up over the crotch of her jeans. You must notice her looking, because you're laughing like you can read her mind when she huffs and covers her face with her arms, her lips pursed as she suppresses an even more embarrassing sound than the one she made before.

"I'll see you tomorrow," you insist, like saying it outloud will make leaving easier. You stand up and brush your hands over your hair, flattening the flyaways. Then you grab your backpack from the floor (don't think about the pretty pin she got you a few days ago, because it'll make you want to kiss her again) and walk over to her window.

You could take your chances with the front door, but you don't want to. Van was afraid that her neighbors would see you and innocently mention it to her mom, say something like oh, I saw that Vanessa's friend came by the other day. Van wishes it could be left at that, but her mom is rarely that simple. She looked so worried as she told you about it, so ashamed. You kissed her cheek and promised yourself you'd get good at climbing.

She comes closer as you climb to the other side, getting your footing on the familiar edge of the wall, and she hisses when you let go of the window railing to reach over and cup her face. You don't have to pull for her to bend down and let you kiss her, your thumbs brushing over her cheeks.

"Please don't fall," she's saying as you make your way down.

You look up at her and smile, and Van thinks you're so pretty that she misses the mischievousness behind it. "Have a little faith in me— oh, fuck!"

Van flinches, bumping her head on the window with how quick she moves to look down at you. The sound of your laughter makes her realize your hands never left their safe grip. Her shoulders relax. "Oh my God, fuck you," she scoffs, though she's too relieved for it to have any real bite.

"What were you even gonna do?" You ask, still giggling.

She shrugs, eyebrows furrowed. "I don't know, fucking— grab you or something."

"Your arms are too short to reach me from up there."

"I take offense to that."

"Well, I'm sorry," you sigh, tilting your head. "Doesn't make it any less true."

"I better not hear you asking for my short arms to carry you after practice tomorrow," Van huffs, said arms now crossed over her chest.

You look up at her in disbelief, raising your eyebrows. "I have literally never asked you for that, you always offer."

She shifts slightly where she stands, moves her weight from one leg to the other, caught. "Because I can do it," she mutters.

"Yes, I know. You're very strong, baby."

Van rolls her eyes, choosing to believe that you're teasing her because if she believes that you're being genuine she might die.

Your feet hit the ground with a thud. You do a silly curtsy, as if to say ta-da! and Van thinks you're so cute she's certain that she'll die. You give her one last grin and blow her a kiss before sneaking away from her house into the night.

Van goes to bed with her cheeks aching from smiling, her bed smelling of your perfume, and the faint sound of her brain screaming (terrified, celebrating) you are fucked!

─────✧･ﾟ: *✧･

NOW.

"I wish I'd asked you to prom," your voice is muffled by her sweatshirt, lips partly pressed against her shoulder.

Van snorts, looking down at you. "What?"

"You never went," you explain, and you have that look on your face, like you've been thinking about this for weeks. Like you could cry. Van presses pause on the (admittedly) shitty action film she'd chosen and lets you try to get your thoughts out. "I really wanted you there. You would've liked it."

She lets out a sigh through her nose, a hand coming to rest against your cheek. "I really don't know if that's true, honey," she says honestly.

You straighten your back a little, a tiny frown on your face like you get when you've been challenged. "You would've liked it. You love to dance and the DJ was, like, surprisingly good. And Ms. Dawson actually said yes to a dance with Peter K., even though that was highly inappropriate now that I think about it. But it was funny at the time— and Natalie snuck in a bottle of vodka."

"Yeah?" She asks, awfully endeared even when she's heard the story a million times before. You'd told her all about it the day after prom, your voice groggy and sleepy over the phone. She had felt lame about having missed it, but a thousand times better as soon as she picked up the phone, giggling in her bed like a fool at every detail you gave her.

You wrap your fingers around the hand on your cheek, press a kiss against her palm. "You would've loved it," you say, sounding somehow more convinced than before. "I should've asked you."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I was a dick," you insist. "I was a coward—"

"Hey, no. No," Van sits up from her lazy posture, two thin wrinkles between her eyebrows when she frowns. They look good on her. You remember when they weren't there, and it always makes you a little emotional. "Don't say that. You weren't."

"But I was," you try to reason, stubborn to a fault. "I'm not, like, condemning myself. I'm stating a fact."

Her frown deepens. "Well, I don't like it. And I don't think it's a fact."

You didn't mean for this to turn into an argument, but you're not exactly thinking about that at the moment. It happens— you've let the thought saturate in your brain for too long and now you're stuck thinking that you're right. "Why are you arguing with me right now?" You ask, not being petty but genuinely wanting to know.

Van huffs a frustrated breath. "Because I thought about asking you to prom for years, okay?" She says, crawling with embarrassment. "I told myself I would over and over again and then I fucking didn't. If you were a coward, what does that make me?"

You pause, guilt swirling in your stomach because you realize all at once that you've been poking on a tender bruise you didn't even know existed. "Van," you say softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She sighs, almost a chuckle. She can be so mean to herself, so condescending about her own feelings. You know she's not laughing at you, or disregarding you in any way— it's just what she does when she feels like she's humiliated herself. Especially when you're there to watch, looking at her so kindly when she's certain she deserves none of it. "Yeah, well. That was intentional," she mutters.

You let her look away from you for a moment before you push yourself onto your knees, placing one on each side of her hips. She welcomes you like she always does when you come to sit on her lap now, her hands on your waist and her face falling forward to press kisses over your collarbone. A thoughtless motion, automatic.

"Sweet girl," you hum, guiding her head up with a careful hand, smiling when you meet her eyes. "We should've gone out dancing alone. Would've been way more fun."

Van breathes out a laugh. She wonders if she'll cry, and feels like she could. "Yeah," she agrees.

"I would've said yes, you know. I'm not blaming you for not asking me, I get why you didn't. I really do. But it's important to me that you know that." You brush a strand of hair behind her ear. It's pretty, and getting long. In no time she'll be asking you to wash it over the sink and trim it with your fancy hair scissors, like you've been doing since you got back together when you were twenty five after a stupid argument that led to a two years long break. It wasn't a good time for either of you, but you don't regret it. You have the rest of your life to live with her. Still, there will always be things like this— arguments about deep buried shame, fears that might never go away, moments you missed that other high school sweethearts didn't because their worries weren't like yours. It's sad, but not inescapable all the time. You and Van don't blame each other for any of it. But sometimes you need to be reminded of that.

"I know," she nods, her voice in that soft, quiet tone that you love but rarely get with how passionate she is. It's not a hardship, you love that just as much. "I think maybe that's why— why I was so freaked out. Like, if you said yes, it would become real."

You nod and chuckle a little, sweet and airy. "And you'd have to actually start to date me? Yeah, I would be scared," you joke.

Van buries her face in your chest with a groan. "That's all I fucking wanted," she says, feeling too honest to play along like she usually would.

You let her stay there for a while, her nose brushing against the rise and fall of your chest. Wanna be here forever, she'd told you once, with cold fingers sneaking under your shirt, more than a little drunk. You have been making fun of her about it for ages, but it tugs at something different today. It makes you pull her softly with a hand on the back of her neck, just enough to press your lips against hers, not wanting to deny her any of your warmth that she might crave.

Van hums against your lips, moving where you want her when your hands guide her own from your waist down to your hips. You press your chest against hers like you know she likes and she moans into your mouth, a hand moving to press against your back and force you closer.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you," you mumble when she lets you pull apart, speaking close to her ear as you kiss her cheek, lips soft over old acne scars and sunspots.

Van shakes her head. "I don't care," she promises, smiling like she does when she's about to say something corny. "Look at me now," she shrugs, fake humble. "I got the girl in the end."

You laugh against her smirk and kiss her until she's lifting your hips and pushing you down on the couch, your back against the worn pillows, a hand on the back of your head in case you bump it on the arm rest. You like when she moves you around just to show off, reminds you of when you were younger and she'd flex her muscles just because she knew you were looking. She might not be the same type of strong now, but she can still pull out some tricks when she wants to. And with you, Van often wants to.

She tilts her head back when you try to pull her in for another kiss, sighing as she gets comfortable on top of you. She almost gives up the act when you pout at her, blinking your pretty eyes, but instead she leans her weight on one hand next to your head and says, "That is, of course, if she doesn't leave me for Katie Lopez's magic fingers."

Van expects you to roll your eyes, slap her shoulder so she can say ouch! and dramatically rest her hand over the wounded spot. Instead, you slide your hand over hers where it's resting against your hip, intertwining your fingers together and smiling pretty, tilting your head. "Mmh, but I have the best fingers right here."

Van scoffs, playing amused rather than speechless because she's trying not to show you how much your words get to her. It's embarrassing how proud it makes her, how quickly she melts into the palm of your hand when you as much as imply that she's good at something, that you would pick her over everyone else, that you want her like she wants you. Praise from others makes her smile and say thank you, but praise from you reaches her core, makes her dizzy. Her lips feel dry and her tongue pokes out absentmindedly to lick them as you guide her hand up. Van barely registers the movement, too busy watching your face— how beautiful that she gets to see it all the time now, that she knows all the details like you know hers.

Her fingertips come to rest against your lips and her breath stutters as she tries desperately to maintain any sense of coolness or dignity or fucking something while you kiss each one, soft and attentive. She's thinking, is she insane for finding it as thrilling as she does, even after all these years? Do you know what you do to her? You can't possibly know, Van almost decides, but then you part your lips to slide two of her fingers into your mouth and she thinks that you do. You definitely know.

"F—fuck," she breathes out, and tries to remember her original plan to tease you but can't recall your old classmate's name. "You trying to butter me up?" She asks, her chuckle trembling but deep, from the back of her throat.

Her fingers slip from your mouth with a soft pop, and Van groans. You hum, "Is it working?"

You're mean, evil. You're the sweetest thing she's ever seen. Two things can be true at once. You're a dream, and you're not like this for anyone else. The thought echoes through her skull, warm and infectious. Van smirks. "Yeah."

[mr-mentally-ill]

Woah Mr Mentally Ill posting twice in one day??

...who cares lol

Anyway– I'm here today to talk to you about the use of color in ASOUE. So let's get into it!

Okay let's start off with basics: yellow represents innocence and purple represents evil. In the early days of the first season, Sunny wears yellow colored clothes. As she gets older however, she wears more colors like pink and grey.

Purple is the color that Esmé wears at the opera. It's also the color that the man with the beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard wear. In the scene wear the baudelaires help burn down the hotel and help Olaf get away, Violet wears purple.

Again, going back to yellow, look at the island. Now this might be a bit of a stretch, so take it with a grain of salt. So yellow and red make orange right? So someone with not much knowledge on the subject might think that orange and white makes yellow aswell.

This is where the stretch comes in, Ishmael wants to recreate that innocence like we see in Sunny at the start. That's what VFD was supposed to do, keep childlike innocence.

While you would think red would be a color associated with evil in ASOUE, but it doesn't. It mainly represents good. The uniform on the Quequeg is red. In the show, Kit wears it at the opera. In the books, the baudelaires wear it while working at the Hotel Denoument. Klaus also wears it in some early episodes.

Blue would usually be associated with childlike innocence, but in ASOUE it's usually the loss of childlike innocence. Beatrice wears it when she throws the dart that kills Olaf's father. Klaus wears it when they steal a boat, get arrested, in the movie, and all illustrations. Sunny also wears it in later seasons, showing how she is no longer innocent. It is also the color of the sugar bowl.

Green is a neutral color. The hypnotized mill workers wear it. In the show, the baudelaires wear it when they spy on bad people. Olaf wears it in the song "Not how the story goes".

Black and white funnily enough, aren't black and white. They're blurred, both bad and good characters wearing it.

But hey– that's just my two cents!!

(If you guys wanna send me theories to talk about, send me them!)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Syndrome

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

In one of the earliest episodes of Psycho Analysis, I discussed the villain of Incredibles II, Evelyn Deavor. Evelyn is just a genuinely awful twist villain for not only being completely obvious, but for having a nonsensical and impersonal motive that makes her look like a vindictive idiot. And while there is so much wrong with her, things I detailed in that review (though probably not quite as well as I would now after doing this for a few years), there is one big issue that holds her back, one that no villain in her shoes could avoid: She’s standing in the shadow of a chubby ginger nerd with a Heat Miser hairdo.

Syndrome (real name Buddy Pine) is really something else when it comes to Pixar villains. While not the first to be genuinely, irredeemably evil—Hopper was already right there—he had a lot of things that the grasshopper lacked. For one, we get to see Syndrome’s backstory and how he ended up becoming the way that he is. But more importantly, Syndrome just has a much more stylish presentation that elevates him to being what I consider Pixar’s very best villain.

Motivation/Goals: Over the course of his many, many evil monologues, Syndrome paints a pretty vivid picture of why he is the way he is. It begins with his initial monologue to Bob, where he recounts the faithful night Bob cruelly rejected him and told him to fly home. Only… there’s one teensy little detail missing from the recap. A very French detail.

Yes, Buddy’s memory proves to be extremely self-serving, as he ignores Bob was at the time dealing with the terrorist and “World’s Greatest Punny Supervillain Name” winner Bomb Voyage to paint himself as a poor, innocent victim of a dismissive and cruel super. Note also how his posture in his version has him with arms wide open as Bob cruelly looks down upon him. All of this goes to show that his big desire for revenge, a core aspect of his motivation, is just completely fabricated by his warped, evil mind. I think he really was just looking for an excuse to go on a killing spree and Bob telling him to stop endangering his own life inadvertently created the world’s first super-school shooter.

Syndrome later elaborates on his evil scheme, because simple revenge isn’t all he’s about (it’s just really nice he gets to take it, that’s all). In another monologue, he details how his murderous robot was meticulously created so that he could fabricate the perfect deadly enemy for him to beat in a staged fight, thus turning himself into a beloved superhero and winning the public’s adoration and respect. With every other hero dead by his hands, he could now soak in all the attention he wanted, and then when he’s old he’d sell off all his tech creating a world where everyone is super (meaning, in his words, that “no one will be”). Syndrome’s initial scheme is very ego-driven and narcissistic, which honestly makes it perfect for a campy supervillain like him.

Of course, he ends up having one more plan when everything else goes awry: Steal Jack-Jack and raise him as his own. This is actually a nice recycling of his cameo from a deleted opening scene for the movie, where he was actually an old enemy who tried to kidnap Violet as a child and who ends up dying in a horrible explosion for trying to fuck with Bob and Helen’s kid (seems they liked that fate for him, because they kept that too). It’s pretty demented as far as a backup plan goes, but it certainly fits him.

Performance: Beloved Kevin Smith collaborator, former Scientologist, and Dave Seville actor Jason Lee is genuinely the perfect sort of guy to voice a villain who comes off as incredibly comedic, but he also gets to show off some really good range when it’s time for Buddy to drop the laughably evil schtick and dip into being a smug, sinister supervillain. All in all, he gives us the exact sort of Silver Age supervillain hamminess to keep you engaged even as he dips deeper and deeper into horrifyingly evil actions.

Final Fate: You’d think that after nearly dying from a bomb getting caught on it as a child, Syndrome would ditch the cape. You’d think that, being a former hero worshiper who absolutely had to know that Edna Mode was the hero designer, he’d be aware of her stance on capes in costume design and would ditch the cape. But no, Syndrome apparently really wanted that classic hero look, and as all truly stylish men must do, he paid the price for looking good. The price in this case is being sucked into a jet turbine where he was shredded into a fine paste before whatever was left violently exploded in a massive fireball, but hey, that's what you get for ignoring Edna's fashion advice.

Best Scene: I think his introductory scene when he fully reveals himself to Bob is, ahem, incredible, especially on repeat viewings. From the chilling moment where he makes Bob aware of his true identity to his warped self-victimizing recap of Bob rejecting him to getting caught monologuing and then tossing Bob away by accident, it takes the nerdy little fanboy from the opening and recontextualizes him as a laughably evil mad scientist who is at the same time an extremely disturbed murderer with a horrifyingly personal vendetta.

Best Quote: Syndrome has some of the best quotes in the movie this side of Edna, and he drops a good 50% of the film’s most iconic and quotable lines. But the one bit of dialogue that sticks out to me personally is the one he drops during his big (re)entrance into the film, where he makes Bob realize who he is by simply saying, “After all… I am your biggest fan.” It’s so simple and bone-chilling and really sets the mood of the film going forward.

Final Thoughts & Score: Syndrome is just really an amalgamation of everything great you could have in a villain in this particular type of movie.

On the superhero movie side, he’s obviously taking a lot of inspiration from envy-driven tech geniuses like Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom. He has a personal grudge against the hero, and is determined to use his technological prowess to outdo them and show the world he’s better than the supermen. Of course, Syndrome takes it to an entirely unhinged level by being an unrepentant serial killer, but he’s very much still in the spirit of those aforementioned supervillains. Much like them, and as previously mentioned, his version of the events that led to his rebirth as a villain are very skewed to paint him more as a victim, with his take being how he was unfairly treated by his idols rather than as some obnoxious nuisance who could have been severely hurt or killed and whose bumbling led to a disastrous chain of events. It seems very much in the same vein as the stories where Doom blames Reed for however badly his face is scarred, or Lex blaming Superman for making him bald. Syndrome just takes these classic comic book tropes and mashes them together into one fantastic package. Now if only he somehow involved super-intelligent gorillas in his plans...

Now let’s look at the James Bond side, because everything from the score to the island lair to the evil henchmen are pure Bond villain territory. Syndrome has Bond Villain Stupidity down to an art form; even when he points out being “caught monologuing,” he still does it multiple times where he otherwise has the titular family dead to rights. He had ample opportunity to kill them several times, only to end up with egg on his face because the heroes managed to use his time gloating to form a real plan of escape. And then there’s his death which, again, is caused because he felt like gloating instead of just fucking leaving. He even has a sexy henchwoman who betrays him for the incredibly sexy Chad of a hero, though Bob doesn’t need her pussy when he has it galore at home. Syndrome wouldn’t feel too out of place going up against Jimmy B, if I’m being honest; nothing Syndrome does is any sillier than Moonraker.

I think what’s truly impressive is just how they managed to balance Syndrome being utterly vile and absolutely hilarious, which is no easy task and can lead to a villain being insufferable rather than entertaining. Syndrome has some great jokes, great body language, and the voice of Jason Lee, a voice that exudes comedic energy in every syllable; he also nonchalantly orders children to be murdered, gambles his henchwoman’s life just to call Bob’s bluff, tries to kidnap a baby, and is basically what would happen if H. H. Holmes had robots. It’s such an amazing combination of traits and it all gels together into one of the best and most fun superhero movie villains ever crafted.

Yeah, that’s right. He’s one of the best superhero movie villains. This man easily clears most of Marvel and DC’s movie villains, and deserves every single point of that 10.5/10 I’m giving him. He’s Pixar’s best villain, and exactly the sort of fun, campy, yet ultimately deadly and threatening bad guy that all superhero movies deserve. Literally no part of The Incredibles is lacking, so why should the villain be any different, right? If only the sequel could have kept up even half the energy… Maybe if they’d given Evelyn Snow Miser’s hair, she’d have been a better villain.

[astridhoff03]

Iron Flame - Review

Burn. It. Down. Indeed. No, but I really enjoy the second part of the Fourth Wing Saga Even though I have to forgive Rebecca Yarros that she killed one my favorite Characters. The only thing I criticize is that the Love story is in both books to much. And there’s pointless smut also, which for me personally doesn’t feel like a real romantic-releationship more like a physical one. People will I hate me if I say that, but I don’t care about Xaden Riorson. I couldn't form an emotional connection with him because when I look at him I’m just seeing Rhysand and Darkling again. And the Darkling and Rhysand are similar but are characterwise very different, Xaden is a decent character but he doesn’t have what grabbed me when I read about Rhysand or the Darkling. But there are more things I really like then dislike, Violet for example she’s still a very good protagonist and I like the things she’s going trough trough out the book. It’s always interesting with her because she’s smart but also really caring. Some people compare her to Hiccup from httyd, I get they are similar, but I think personally that Hiccup is more complex and more relatable than Violet, don’t get me wrong she’s cool but doesn’t stick out that much, than Hiccup, Celaena, Feyre, Nesta, Zoya or Inej does. As I said before I don’t really care about her Relationship with Xaden that much, don’t get me wrong I like Love-Stories and Romantic stuff in books as in movies very much but at some points I had the feeling that Violet was over focused on Xaden. I know there life’s where attached to each other thanks to their Dragons, but even Feyre from ACTOR wasn’t that over focused on her mate or want to fuck him before a fucking War starts. Their Relationship is definitely the weakest part of the book and should be more in the background, I think that would’ve done overall great story wonders. The political stuff and the Dragon stuff is actually more interesting. Maybe the other three books will get me invested in Xadens Character, if it’s not his Perspective. Apropos Dragons I have to give credit to Tairn and Andarna, they were fantastic. I also really like that we see the see more of the releationship Violet has with her Dragons. But overall I have to confess I like the Dragons from httyd much more, they feel more real. I also really Love Violet and Sloanes relationship near the end, I just wished Violet would be more of a Mentor figure maybe some kind of a sister for Sloane when they resolved their conflict. Syrena and Cat I also liked, but Cat was a bitch until the end happen. But I like that Violet and her now accept each other. I just wish the side characters weren’t that blend. You know very little about them. The political that was going on was also very interesting, Navarre is a very fascinating Kingdom. The ending is very dramatic with Violets Mom sacrificing herself. Sorry but Idk why but I would’ve leave it with this ending instead of Xaden again and his red eyes and the whole scene with Jack. But overall I can recommend it, it’s enjoyable but I personally prefer the first book more. I also never saw so many roasting Videos on YouTube that for 2 hours straight. I mean yeah the Emperyean Series is a little overrated but it has potential and Rebecca Yarros is talented, the only thing that holds the Books a little back is the relationship between Xaden and Violet and also Xaden. But I wish Rebecca Yarros still the best, because I know writing, figuring out where the plot goes, plant Plottwits in it and at the same time make the characters complex and compelling is hard work. But if I were her, I would have waited a little longer to develop and figure more things out and get more feedback.

[lookalivesunshine2007]

playlist explanation as requested by @r-capa !! 100% this is the most effort i’ve put into a playlist ever and i think it turned out so well. i hope anyone who gives it a listen enjoys it as much as i do. i’ll link the playlist again so people who see this post first wont have trouble finding it. its also decently late for me so sorry about any grammatical errors lmao :)

Starman (David Bowie) honestly this is really just a vibe establishing song that fits better with events that take place pre-movie, but i can't bring myself to get rid of it lol. feel free to skip this one (depending on when you see this it might not even be on the playlist)

Starlight (Muse) the “real” start of the playlist and the initial “we’re in space on a mission wow this is so cool”

Muse’s vibes in general are super space-y i feel. A nice little “before everything went wrong” song. it’s a super upbeat song with rad space vibes, plus lyrics like;

“far away, this ship is taking me far away”

“i will be chasing starlight until the end of my life”

Violet Hill (Coldplay) is Capa reminiscing about earth while sending his message to his loved ones, as well as the rest of the crew doing the same. (Capa specifically because he’s the only one we visually see do it). It’s also partially fitting to be about the crew’s dedication to completing their mission and the state of earth as they left it. Some lyrics that really stood out to me in this song were;

“Was a cold and dark december, from the rooftops I remember there was snow, white snow” among other lines about freezing and winter.

“I don't want to be a soldier who the captain of some sinking ship would stow far below '', basically the crew just refusing to sit around doing nothing while the earth freezes.

The “love” mentioned throughout could fit the crew’s love for earth displayed by their willingness to be a part of the Icarus II mission.

Hysteria (Muse) is when Harvey discovers the emergency beacon from the Icarus I, and they decide to change their course. It also goes into the shield repair scene, and Kaneda’s death. No particular lyrics (besides maybe the chorus very loosely) stick out for me but the overall message and vibe of the song fit so well with these scenes for me. I imagine the solo/bridge of this song is where Kaneda dies. The rest follows not ridgid/particular events.

Icarus (Bastille) Mace, Capa, Searle, and Harvey have just boarded the Icarus I. This song basically covers their entire time aboard the Icarus I. A ton of the lyrics fit so well in my opinion, especially when applied to Capa specifically. This song also covers the four aboard the Icarus I deciding that Capa is the most important, and Capa, Mace, and Harvey crossing the gap between the two ships to get back to the Icarus II. I find the bridge is best for the little quiet moment where they are preparing to take the leap between the ships. I’ll quote the chorus here so you can really get the vibes.

“Icarus is flying to close to the sun and Icarus’s life it has only just begun. This is how it feels to take a fall. Icarus is flying towards an early grave.” SO GOOD. These can be applied to the crew as a whole, as well as explicitly to Capa.

Viva La Vida (Coldplay) With only half the crew left, and the discussion and discovery of the Trey incident, the crew is basically just waiting for their death now. This song is representative of everyone still alive essentially making peace with their fates now that they are aware they don't have enough oxygen to make it home.

Psycho Killer (Talking Heads) PINBACKER. I feel like there's very little explanation needed for this one but i’ll get into it anyway because i LOVE this song. The song is quite literally about a serial killer. The scenes I think fit well with this song are basically just the ones with Pinbacker making his way through the crew LOL.

“I can’t sleep cause my beds on fire” OKAY SUNBURN MAN.

“we are vain and we are blind” fits so well with his views of fundamentalism.

The line “je me lance vers la glorie” translates to (roughly) “I launch myself towards glory” which again, brings us to his fundamentalism characterization and the “holy” mission he talks about throughout.

Apocalypse Please (Muse) The lyrics. OH MAN. It so perfectly encapsulates the final part of the movie, where Capa basically blows the Icarus II and its airlock open and makes his way to the payload, fighting Pinbacker and setting off his bomb. The last minute sounds “sparkly” if that makes sense, which I feel is PERFECT for when Capa does set off the bomb and we see it start to go off, sparkles and all. These are some of my favorite lyrics that relate to these scenes;

“Declare this an emergency. come on and spread a sense of urgency and pull us through. And this is the end, this is the end of the world”

“come on it's time for something biblical”

“proclaim eternal victory come on and change the course of history”

My Way (Frank Sinatra) This whole thing is basically Capa as he “meets” the sun. It's a kind of recounting of the events that led up to this place while time is slowed down. I like the upbeat and triumphant but overall melancholy feel of the song and it just makes it fit super well here.

“and now the end is near and so i face the final curtain” and honestly most of the lyrics. This is just a really versatile song that’s great for cinematic type playlists in general.

Capa Meets The Sun (Underworld) a song from the movie’s soundtrack that serves as a moment for everything to really sink in, and an extra moment before you go on with your day. I loved that this ends with the message Capa sent to his loved ones, and it's a perfect way to end the playlist. I wanted to put the main theme (Adagio in D minor) as the final song, but I felt this one fit the intended purpose better :)

[denimbex1986]

'With a face carved by the hands of Michelangelo himself, Cillian Murphy’s film presence seldom goes unneeded. The Irish actor isn’t Hollywood’s most recognizable leading man. He’s spent most of his career traversing from underrated role to underrated role, giving him an incredibly diverse filmography.

Now, as his titular role in Christopher Nolan’s “Oppenheimer” garners critical acclaim, I wanted to take a look at some of his previous projects.

Red Eye (2005)

Starting off strong with this airplane-set thriller, “Red Eye” follows two strangers, Lisa Reisert, played by Rachel McAdams, and Jackson Rippner, played by Murphy, on a flight to Miami. Jackson’s charm entices Lisa at first, but things take an unexpected turn for the worst when his true intentions are revealed.

Murphy deserved an Academy Award solely for his sassy line delivery in one particular scene — if you know, you know. The fact that he served face doing it makes it so much better.

Watching the Detectives (2007)

This rom-com follows a film nerd and video rental store owner whose life is turned upside down when a manic pixie dream girl type, played by the incomparable Lucy Liu, shows him life can be just as exciting and unpredictable as the films he obsesses over.

Violet, Liu’s character, thrusts Neil, Murphy’s character, from crazy scenario to crazy scenario. For example, after the duo vandalize another local video store under Violet’s suggestion, she pranks Neil by getting two “detectives” to scare him into thinking he’s been caught.

Throughout the film, Violet tells Neil stories in which fact and fiction are hard to discern. One in particular includes a big, bald musician she once dated who stalks her. She ends up pulling another ruse on the now paranoid Neil, faking an abduction by this bald ex that leads to a violent resolution.

I hope this movie inspires film bros to go outside and experience the world beyond the screen — though, hopefully not to the same extent as Neil did.

Breakfast on Pluto (2005)

In this drama, our blue-eyed beauty plays a transgender woman named Patrick “Kitten” Braden. After her mother abandoned her on the steps of a priest’s home, she leaves her small town in Ireland for London in search of her mother and a freer place to fully live her trans identity.

Her journey through London finds her falling in love with the lead singer of a glam rock band and singing and dancing as a member of the children’s entertainment group, The Wombles. She becomes a magician’s assistant and is ultimately forced into prostitution where she narrowly escapes a violent attack by iconically spraying her assailant in the eyes with Chanel No. 5.

Murphy’s performance is striking and campy throughout as he buoys the hardships of the trans experience with Kitten’s whimsy and aversion to taking anything seriously.

The costuming is also absolutely scrumptious. From a certain leather ensemble to the myriad of furs, this is certainly Murphy’s most glamorous role to date.

In Time (2011)

This dystopian quasi-thriller takes place in a society where time is currency. Citizens are genetically-engineered to not age past 25, and when they do reach that age, they are given one more year to live. Time is exchanged from person to person and is stored in capsules; citizens can gain time by working, bartering, stealing or fighting for it.

Though the concept is interesting, the execution leaves much to be desired. Even though the cast is full of familiar faces: Amanda Seyfried, Olivia Wilde, Johnny Galecki and Justin Timberlake — yes, it’s from that weird era where they tried to make Timberlake a movie star, it seems like everyone here forgot how to act.

With the exception of Murphy, of course. Here, he plays a so-called “Timekeeper,” a select group of individuals tasked with keeping the peace and investigating “time crimes.” Murphy portrays his character, Raymond Leon, with a cold suaveness and a certain sassiness that’s innate to Murphy. The leather jacket and dark, slicked back hair is just a cherry on top.'

[rocksrntpeople]

Rewatching Iron Man

I hadn’t read or seen much comic book stuff when I was invited to watch Iron Man with my friends at the movie theater back in 2008. I’d seen and enjoyed the DC cartoons as a kid and of course I knew of Iron Man, but I didn’t know anything about him except that he looked like a rubber chicken version of Dr. Doom.

All this to say, Iron Man launched me into the world of comic books and superheroes. I was hooked from then on and I still love comics today. This movie quite literally changed my life, even if the change wasn’t as profound as most life changes.

Obviously, I’m biased.

But then something genuinely surprising happened.

Somewhere along the line I’ve forgotten how to put down my critical analysis of media and not only was I pleasantly surprised at the great writing still hitting the mark, but I was able to notice the superb cinematography, something I’d missed through no less than 3 rewatches. I mean, of course there’s the surface-level awesomeness like the entire opening sequence with its fluid transitions or the perfectly tense scene where Pepper is collecting data from Obadiah’s files, but even beyond this facade lies near perfection.

That moment when the missile lands next to Tony in the desert, the camera does a short, quick zoom with a zshooom sound and it’s just so reminiscent of comics and the idea of being hyper-aware in a high-stress moment.

When Obadiah has Tony paralyzed and is giving his evil monologue, everything is perfect. The angled shot, the lighting, RDJ’s violet veins, Bridge’s cartoon-villain dress and demeanor. It all comes together in this scene and despite the minimal camera work, the room seems to be spinning as the monologue goes on.

These are still pretty surface level things, but throughout the film there’s just a masterful execution of every element — lighting, costume & makeup, camera angles — just everything is absolutely seamless for 99% of the movie. It’s kind of insane to think about a blockbuster superhero movie being so technically well-executed!

One thing in particular that caught my attention and stayed pretty true throughout the movie is the fact that this movie doesn’t follow Tony Stark. In almost every scene with Tony, the camera is following another character. This does two things: it lets the audience know things that Tony doesn’t, which helps build tension, yadda, yadda; and it makes a distinction between Tony Stark and Iron Man. Because when Tony Stark is in his suit, then the camera begins to follow him. Even the final shot of the movie plays to this, finally — finally — focusing on Tony Stark and Tony Stark alone, as he declares he is Iron Man.

Fucking chef’s kiss. Are you kidding me?! This movie was so fucking good; that’s why it’s one of my favorite MCU movies of all time, despite being the first. (We don’t talk about Hulk in this household.)

Robert Downey Jr. is the perfect Tony Stark. I found it a bit funny that at times the makeup crew tries to harken Downey back to his teen acting days with the extremely glossy eyelashes, but other than that it holds up overall and I would even go as far as to say that we probably haven’t had a stand alone superhero movie that was as good as Iron Man since Iron Man. 

It’s just so damn unique; I can see exactly how it gripped the world with its melding of humor and action and reality and just everything we were all feeling at that moment, without shoving it down our throats that this is what we needed. Like, god, can’t one of these rich guys turn good instead of evil for once? Can’t someone get fed up and save us already? Are we finally getting a superhero movie as good as what’s on WB Kids??

And then Iron Man swoops in, dripping in sarcasm and long-lost teen lust, acting as though it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to be a rich guy in a mech suit, and ultimately delivering us unto a new age of entertainment.

.

.

.

The elephant in the room

Okay, yes, let’s talk about Rhodey. I remember when he was replaced; I was so upset. I felt that Terrence Howard was the absolute best choice for Rhodey and that he did an impeccable job opposite RDJ. Rewatching the film…god damn it, it’s still very true! Why’d you have to do it, Terrence? Why?! You were beautiful as you soared so high…

Listen, I like Don Cheadle as much as the next person, and did back in 2009 too. But he is not a good Rhodey. I feel like there are many other black actors who would have done the role better and I half-remember people throwing around Denzel Washington’s name as a “better” suggestion. Personally, I’d have gone with someone closer to Howard’s look, like maybe Jamie Foxx or someone.

The fact of the matter is that while the character is a military guy, one of the main reasons he’s friends with Stark is because he’s a progressive, more laid-back and approachable kind of military guy; he’d almost have to be for his work as a liaison with civilian organizations. Both Cheadle and Washington have such stern looks…it just doesn’t fit. (To be clear, I think Cheadle has done a good job with the role; I just think Howard would’ve done it perfectly. God it hurt to hear him say, “Next time, baby.”)

I mean, this is just my opinion and I know that Cheadle has millions of fans for his role, but I just don’t see it and never have. Terrence Howard is part of what makes the first Iron Man so great. But, c’est la vie.

.

.

.

So, Iron Man — Great Success! 

I guess I should rate these but I’m afraid there’s going to be a trend…

10/10 for Iron Man!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Next week, I’ll see The Incredible Hulk, which I am only watching out of respect for the timeline.

But actually, I liked this movie well enough and thought Edward Norton was a great casting choice. We’ll see if it holds up because it’s been probably a decade since I last saw it.

[yelena-bellova]

I agree that tv ask game is perfect for Friday night 😍😍😍😍

hmm. how about you do Downton abbey?

And I end up doing it on Saturday morning hahaha

1: Favorite episode and why

I can’t remember where it is in s2, but I love the one where Sybil finally confesses she loves Tom.

2: Funniest/crackiest/it’s-terrible-but-I-still-love-it episode/scene

Anything with Maggie Smith was hilarious. I love the scene (I think in s5 or 6?) where Violet is ill and Isobel’s been nursing her back to health and they’re playing cards and she’s absolutely exhausted by all of Isobel’s attention but carries on.

3: It’s-terrible-and-I-hate it episode/scene

Okay, I hate the episode where Sybil dies, but it is an incredibly emotional episode. The acting alone is breathtaking, but I hardly ever watch it because it makes me cry.

4: Best episode/scene for my favorite character

Sybil remains my favorite and I love the scene where she’s desperately trying to find some purpose and is baking cakes in the kitchen and just completely failing.

5: Best episode/scene for my favorite ship

When Tom and Sybil run away and get caught and Sybil goes back to Downton, but she promises Tom she’s still going to marry him. Absolutely gets me every time.

6: Best episode/scene for a particular supporting character

Anyone who knows me knows that I can’t stand Lily James, but I do love the scene in what I believe is the finale where Rose takes Robert to see Cora speaking at the hospital, I believe? It was a moment where you could tell Rose had matured, which was desperately needed lol.

7: Best episode/scene for a character I don’t usually like

Not gonna lie, I wasn’t the biggest Daisy fan, but I loved when she and Mr. Mason finally had lunch and they started to develop that relationship after William’s death.

8: Most visually beautiful or interesting episode/scene

I adore the scene in the first movie (yes, I’m jumping screens lol) where Carson and Mrs. Hughes are walking home and the camera pulls back to reveal the whole house. I also love the scene where Edith is walking in the morning and the sun is just rising so perfectly.

9: Most emotionally affecting episode/scene

Either Sybil’s death or William’s death.

10: Most powerful use of music in an episode/scene

The score to the whole show was just magnificent. My favorite has always been Love and the Hunter, which plays primarily in 1x02 (might be 1x03) when Mary’s hunting with Mr. Pamuk and Evelyn Napier.

11: Episode/scene that changed my perspective on the show

I think the s1 finale was a game changer for me because it showed just how serious of a place we were going in the next season. Yes, it’s a show about tea and dresses and petty little problems, but once it started handling the war, it took a whole different turn.

12: Episode/scene where the acting stands out

I cannot remember the episode but the scene where Anna and Bates finally talk about Anna being r**** was just…some of the best acting they’d ever done.

13: Overall best-written episode

I really don’t think I can pick just one episode. I think s3 was the most well-written season, though.

[eunique]

Top 5 animated movies?

Sorry I'm getting to this so late! I didn't notice this one pop through :')

But anyways, here's my top 5 animated films

1) Kiki's Delivery Service

My all time fave ghibli movie. Its so comforting and a stunning film. The soundtrack goes so hard (shoutout to Joe Hisaishi for doing the absolute most for ghibli). Its just an overall stellar movie

2) Violet Evergarden: The Movie

The Violet Evergarden anime series is already so heartwrencningly good that I ugly cried in 2 instances. This film made me ugly cry at 1am (I really need to stop watching films that make me fucking cry late at night bc this ain't my first rodeo). Soundtrack was stellar as usual, the animation and art is also fucking stunning. Violet Evergarden will forever hold an emotional choke hold on me.

3) Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll

Another Violet Evergarden film. Yes, it did make me ugly cry at 1am as well. Seeing a side story was quite nice. The development of Violet's client for this film (forgot her name rip) was solid. Violet in a suit was something I didn't think I needed until I watched the film. Soundtrack and animation is great as always.

4) Mulan

Fucking banger of a film. A childhood fav Disney film so that makes me kinda biased to have this on my top 5 list. Make a man out of you fucking slaps and still goes so hard to this day (if we ignore the misogyny for like a second here).

5) Cinderella 3: A Twist in Time

This sequel film had no right going as hard as it went. They tackle the time travel trope so well and the iconic scene where the Prince fucking yeets himself out of a high ass window will never not be funny to me.

[shoezuki]

Fuck it im puttin it here

The original book didnt have the scene where charlie drinks the fizzy lifting drinks that is in the first movie and honestly i cant stop thinkin bout How Much that changes

Like willy wonka's character is drastically changed with that instance where in the book its arguable he was Setting Up all the other kids (or at the least didnt help them) and that reason being that unlike those kids charlie is the most impressionable, he's obedient and therefore the easiest for wonka to mold into his 'perfect' successor (i.e. make him just. Him 2). Because even in the book when only charlie is left he tells charlie he was seeking out kids because adults wouldn't manage the factory like him and kids would be taught and molded to do the same that wonka did

But in the first movie (and the second to a different extent, where charlie first refuses to take the factory. But thats not what im talkin bout) charlie DOES fuck up just like all the other kids do; where augustus and veruca and violet and TV Lad all interfere with some aspect of the factory, charlie does too. Him and his grandpa drink the fizzy lifting drinks, sneak off from wonka and the others, and theyare disobedient. The only difference is charlie and gramps get out of the situation of their own volition and dont pay the price like the kids.

But just that alone changes Charlie's characrer drastically; in the book he does no wrong and is like a blank slate and just along for the ride. In the movie he doesnt blindly listem to or follow wonka, he acts of his own volition, and rather than suffering from it he figures out how to get out of the situation on his own.

That changes the whole course of the story, because now charlie isn't some completely obedient child. Instead of just ending the story with charlie taking place as his successor, wonka refuses to give the factory to him (initially) because he Knows that charlie did something he shouldnt have. He gets pissed and goes into his office and argues with gramps.

The original story doesnt have much development for the main characters if any. Excluding the kids who get put through hell, the only way charlie changes is in that he gains wealth. And wonka is the same. He maintains that capitalistic position as the head of the factory. Only difference is he says hes gonna die one day (which in a sense repositions the view of him being godlike but thats arguable)

The movie honestly develops and changes wonka a lot. He is humanized in that he realizes kids (and people) arent perfect, that his initial idea of a perfectly moldable child was flawed, and despite knowing that charlie can and will act in ways outside of what wonka wants, he still gives him the factory.

Honestly i think the movie has better character development and although subtle it reconsiders both charlie and wonka in a much better way. The book doesnt challenge wonka's goal at all and charlie is fairly one-dimensional as soon as they enter the factory. The book just feels like ot upholds the idea of a good child being one that doesnt argue or act out in any way. Which is funny, considering im p sure roald dahl hated the movie

Discussed willy wonka and the chocolate factory in class today but the discussion got cut short and that was my last class n i have so many words still im upset

[x0401x]

Violet Evergarden Movie Summary

The initial plan was to make this a short bullet-point thing, but I felt like there was too much to clarify and I had no choice but use novel references to explain certain parts, so I decided to just write a normal summary. Many thanks before-hand to my friend Yuuki, who gave me all this info.

Apologies for taking relatively long with this thing. Not even I expected that I would end up writing this much. Buckle up for the ride, ‘cause it won’t be fun.

Nope, not kidding. It really won’t.

First thing I need to make clear is: this movie is one and a half hour long and divided into three parts and two different timelines: the times when Violet existed and the times after she dies. Already in the beginning of the movie, Violet is dead.

Yes, you read this right. She’s dead.

Now, I don’t mean that she’s dead in the literal sense. This is 60 years in the future. She might be alive or not, but it’s never said. However, the timeline of 60 years later is considered an era without Violet, apparently because she has retired and her “legend” is over, so to say. It’s also a time where Auto-Memories Dolls don’t exist. That’s one good punch in the face. Let’s keep counting.

The movie is sort of like a tale being read by someone else, which at some point goes into Violet’s first-person POV. The whole thing is kind of a look back on Violet’s life tragectory and how it took a new turn when she decided to continue looking for Gil despite all the mess of the TV series.

The era where Violet exists is an era where telephones are being introduced to the people, so Auto-Memories Dolls are starting to become unnecessary. I would argue that the creation of the telephone isn’t enough for an entire occupation to start disappearing so quickly, since new inventions are normally extremely expensive and not everyone has access to them (or even knows about their existence) so immediately after their conception. Realistically speaking, ghostwriters would still be important as long as there were still so many people unable to buy phones. Not to mention that this is a steampunk world where compulsory education doesn’t seem to be a thing yet, so even in the off chance that everybody can buy a phone, there would still be a lot of people who can’t read or write on their own. But all of this clearly went over the animators’ heads, so not only ghostwriters but also the mail business in general are nearing their doom in the movie.

The one looking back on Violet’s life was Ann, who was telling it all to her granddaughter, Daisy (who, by the way, is voiced by Morohoshi Sumire, the same girl who voiced the seven-year-old Ann). Ann had kept all the letters that Violet ghostwrote for her mother, as well as the newspapers about the CH Postal Company. Looks like the article was printed after Violet left CH, since she isn’t in the picture with everyone else.

In this era, CH’s main office has been turned into a museum. Nerine is shown working in it. Of course, she’s a grandma by then. Speaking of the CH personnel, Erica also quit being an Auto-Memories Doll and became a playwright like Oscar. She appears in the newspaper, though, so she probably a while left after Violet did. Taylor also appears there.

Back to Daisy, she was writing a letter to her parents, in order to learn how to properly convey feelings with written word. The message of this scene seems to be that, no matter the tools, what’s important is that we convey our feelings to the people we love.

As we see in the trailer, Gil’s mom has passed and Violet runs into Dietfried when visiting her grave on the anniversary of her death. To anyone who is wondering: yeah, Gil never went to see his mother and she died thinking that he was dead.

Nobody knew that Gil was alive. Not his mother, not Dietfried, not the Evergardens and not even Hodgins. No one.

Here’s what happened to Gil in the anime: he survived the incident at Intense, of course, but got separated from Violet in that explosion. His tag miraculously stayed on the same spot, though, as we saw in the TV series. Now, since this isn’t explained in the anime at all, I have to make it clear: the tag is that necklace the soldiers wear. It contains their names and ranks, so that their bodies can be identified even when they’re irrecognizable. Without the tag, the people who rescued Gil had no idea who he was, so he was sent to a different place to get treated. He ended up at a monastery hospital instead of the one in Enchaîné. I would debate that his uniform alone is enough to identify him as someone from the Leidenschaftlich Army, or maybe they could’ve just asked him which troop he belonged to after he woke up and relocated him to where his fellow men were, but who even cares about all these plot holes anymore? Definitely not me.

Anyway. After Gil was discharged, he ran the fuck away. Like, literally.

If anyone out there was hoping that Gil would finally have his moment to shine as the self-sacrificing, thoughtful and ridiculously kindhearted character that he is in the novel, I have bad news for you. What we had here was even worse than it being Gil’s excuse movie. It’s like the whole thing was made to drag his character so deep through the mud that he’ll never be able to get up again. There’s pretty much nothing in this one and a half hour that actually justifies what he did to Violet. I’ll elaborate on this as we go on.

Anime!Gil became a nomad and went traveling. He offed his ass to the island where that lighthouse displayed in the most recent official art is located (that’s why Gil and Violet were at the beach on the movie poster). He doesn’t have a prosthetic in the anime because, apparently, he was more worried about disappearing as fast as possible to somewhere he would never be found, and never attempted to contact anybody. So nobody knew that he was alive, hence the grave, which, as we feared, was not a fake one. His family really did think he had died.

This is a point that I have already addressed before, but that also means Gil really did abandon Violet to luck. If anything dangerous ever happened to her (as it did, and it was always very obviously likely to happen, since she was the southern army’s most outstanding soldier and quite literally fled from the military), he wouldn’t even know. If word ever got to him, it would probably be too late. And even if it weren’t, he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help her. More than allowing her to live freely, it felt like he was running away from his responsibilities regarding Violet.

Punch on the face count is currently at six.

By sheer coincidence, Violet learns that Gil is living in that island. She goes to see him and Hodgins goes with her after trying to stop her at first. When Gil finds out that they came to see him, he outright refuses to meet them. It pretty much takes the near entirety of the goddamn movie for them to see each other face-to-face. I say face-to-face because all of the following shit happens:

Hodgins goes to talk to Gil. It lasts about 20 minutes.

Gil talks to Violet from behind a door. This one is about 10 minutes.

Dietfried also comes to the island to talk to him. Also about 10 minutes.

At long fucking last, Gil goes to see Violet. But that, too, is only for about 10 minutes.

Hodgins gives him a speech very similar to what happens in chapter 8. Now get ready to fall back from your seats: Dietfried basically goes there to tell Gil that he won’t run away from taking over the family anymore, so Gil can live freely. Yes, Dietfried is officially a better Gilbert than Gilbert himself. I crave death.

So, after much ado, they come to a conclusion: Gil will stay in the island. In order to completely free himself of the shackles of his bloodline, he stays behind, living the way he wants to. ‘Cause all anime!Gil wants is to rot away alone by the sea, apparently. Now prepare yourselves, for it gets worse. Ready?

Violet stays with him in the motherfucking island.

That’s right, ladies and gents. Another fear became true. She quits her job at the CH Postal Company and goes to live with him. Well, at least, not as a housewife. She starts working with mail services in the island, and Gil helps her with it. Her life goes on like this and she dies in the island as well.

This is where the timeline after Violet passes away comes into light, parallel to the era when Violet was alive. Daisy talks about what happened after Violet left CH, as if it were a tale from the distant past.

That’s it.

The movie paints this as a happy ending. I can hardly see it as one. I know it almost looks like everything was solved, but it just got swept under the rug.

The main point that makes me sad in this ending is that Violet’s character development did a 360 degree flip. In the end, she threw everything to the air and went to live in someone who she always put before everyone else, even herself, but who didn’t do the same for her (in the anime). She’s gone to a crammed little island, where she led an uneventful life away from everyone and everything that’s ever had a positive impact on her. All she has is Gil.

Of course, he’s all she needs, but he isn’t all she should have, and that was the entire point of pushing her to go live on her own. Which is exactly what she earns in the novel: two loving parents, a father figure, a brother figure, a best friend and several other friends and acquaintances whom she formed a bond with. She has all she needs, so she doesn’t have to cling to Gil for any reason. There’s no emotional dependance on him anymore. She doesn’t need him to be whole. She just wants him because he happens to be the best person she’s ever met.

Anime!Violet is most definitely not whole. She almost got there, but then she backtracked completely. And anime!Gil... in my friend’s words, is a weakling. There’s nothing in him actually worth all this undying blind love. Sure, he’s full of regret and shit, but it’s too easy to only act upon it now, by vanishing into thin air like a coward.

The deal with novel!Gil is that he looks around at everything he has, everything that had been burdening him and killing him on the inside all his life, and decides to make use of it for Violet’s sake. He continues being family head and working in the army, amassing money and connections in order to have every means possible to protect Violet should anything happen to her. And as it turns out, he does end up having to use those means, more than once, but he will keep this up for as long as he needs to, because he lives for her now. That’s what makes him worth all the blood, sweat, tears, mental sanity and even body parts that she gave away for his sake: he pays it back. Every cent.

Punch in the face count ends at twelve. Thirteen if I include the fact that the movie ends with a last shot of Violet after she and Gilbert do a pinky swear. Looks like they were really trying to buy everyone with tears.

Oh, well.

I hope this has been a good enough summary. Sorry if I rained on anyone’s parade. I’m pretty sure we won’t get a remake ever, so I really wish we all can get over this soon.

[mogsk]

So I watched an anime called “Violet Evergarden” recently, the elevator pitch of which is basically “feral girl is taken in by military man, turned into a child soldier, military man dies, but not before telling her ‘I love you’, but she doesn’t know what that means, so after the war she becomes a ghostwriter with the ostensible aim of figuring out what ‘I love you’ means through other people’s expressions of love via letter-writing.

It’s a good little concept, and while I enjoyed it, it’s also stuck in my brain as being profoundly odd from a storytelling perspective.

Like, the initial premise is v strong, Violet’s driving objective is to understand the last thing she heard her father figure, “The Major”, say to her before she blacked out and woke up with no arms. She was a feral orphan child with little grasp of language or expression, and so she is burdened with not understanding what this very important person to her was trying to convey before they parted ways. Good shit.

And it seems to carry this fairly well at first. Each episode varies in how much it advances the central plot, but each boils down to Violet having to learn a lesson about how people express their feelings for each other, how they express love through words, or how they fail to do so, and so slowly she goes from only being able to produce very precise and terse letters which read more like military reports, to being able to swoop in and fix people’s interpersonal problems with the power of a well-dictated love note.

Where it kinda falls apart for me is about halfway through the series, where we see that Violet has more or less grown into her role as protagonist in an anime about the power of letter writing and the meaning of love (-ish). She’s gotten so good she’s tasked with facilitating one half of a romantic correspondence between the nobles of two nations whose relations are still tense after The War (which Violet fought in), and so have decided to arrange a marriage between their noble children -- a 14-year old girl and a 24-year old man.

Now up to that point, the messaging around the central theme felt odd, but it made sense, like, Violet is growing to understand love, and so how the show does this is by giving her a lot of weird and fraught situations around that theme: we have a woman who is in love with a man, but she wants to play hard to get which Violet ruins by writing a letter that just directly states ‘I have no feelings for you, please stop calling on me’. So then she goes to letter-writing school where one of her classmates has an alcoholic brother who she wants to express her love and thanks towards, but doesn’t know how to pierce the barrier of grief surrounding him due to the death of their parents in The War. 

It keeps on like this p consistently, the central question “What is love? What does someone mean when they say ‘I love you’?” is addressed fairly cleanly, but then, once the issue of Violet’s struggle with being able to convey people’s emotions becomes effectively resolved, we kinda start to leave the rails!

Back to the mid-point episode, so, through trying to properly convey this 14yo princess’ feelings, Violet learns what her true feelings are. No, it’s not that she is discontent with being forced to marry a man ten years older than her because, you see, they already secretly met at a royal party when she was, like...10?? And he found her crying and was, like, “Hey kid, you okay?” and that was the first genuine expression of human emotion outside of her dutiful maid she’d ever gotten. You see, what her discontent is is that she knows the man she met, with a heart so simple and pure he feels compelled to comfort a crying child, would never write these letters, and so Violet conspires with the prince’s ghostwriter to allow them to have a more honest correspondence (which is then reprinted in all the newspapers around both countries.)

What got me about this episode is how it, like, throws all these different narrative threads in the air around this central theme of “What is love?” -- the concept of arranged marriage, the idea of confusing appreciating someone’s kindness for having other feelings for them, the MAID who is, like, the princess’ closest friend and confidant, but who has to explain that, once she’s married off, they will have to part ways because she doesn’t serve the princess, she serves the royal family and there’s this great scene where the princess is weeping after she says that and the maid is like “I cannot accept that command, I will continue standing here right by your side” and it’s really intense!

But then...it all gets dropped in the interest of the final note being...yeah sometimes you have to marry a guy in his twenties when you’re just a teenager, but love’s just funny like that ig!

Which sounds ungenerous, and like, I wanted that to be the case, I wanted it to be setting up something, like, “Despite Violet gaining proficiency in letter writing, she still is struggling to understand the more nuanced dimensions of love and so her shortsightedness will come back round to bite her in the ass” (it does not, we even get a montage of all the people she’s helped including the newly married royal couple smiling happily at the camera.) 

We then get more episodes like this, where Violet’s done learning about Love and is now in effect teaching it to others. She does this by...sitting and looking pretty with a guy while they wait for a comet to go by, imitating a playwright’s dead daughter so he can be inspired to finish his play, and...writing a bunch of letters on behalf of a mother dying from anime mom disease, but who wants to be able to speak to her daughter as she grows up through a series of pre-written birthday letters.

And, like, in isolation, it’s all very moving! Each story has a very touching emotional drive to it, but it seems like the question of “What does ‘I love you’ mean?” p much falls to the wayside, even after we get the big 3/4s of the way through reveal that the Major is dead and Violet didn’t know! So we’re treated to flashbacks of their relationship, including the moment where he repeats that damning phrase!

But then we really don’t pick it back up again? It kinda superficially grows in relevance as we approach the conclusion, but it’s never again properly addressed until after a sudden spat of military drama breaks out with people trying to reignite The War and Violet suddenly having to put down her typewriter and pick up her combat knife, but now, for some reason, she refuses to kill people because...she isn’t just a tool?

And I think this is what ultimately frustrated me, is that those are two great themes “Discovering what it means to love” and “Can a person conditioned to fulfill a specific purpose ever be free to choose their own path?” but the problem is, the series really has centered itself on the former while kinda sorta implying the latter, but in the final scenes, we are suddenly given a resolution to the latter (which is basically Metal Gear Solid, “You are not your DNA”, “Just live Snake” that’s been done beautifully and with more thought already by, well, Metal Gear Solid) whereas the former, what was the entire driving force behind Violet’s character development is kinda sorta hand-waved off as “What is love? I still don’t think I know, but maybe that’s just how it is!” which is fucked up coming from someone who by the midway point is basically counselling or facilitating love between people!

So, like, I enjoyed it a lot, there were some great moments and the supporting cast, while mostly one-dimensional save for Violet herself, made for at least nice scenery, but I’m just so blown away by how they seemed to manage to forget (or ceased wanting) to tell the story they laid out in the beginning in favor of some p uniform military drama that suffered precisely because most of the series was dedicated to developing the central theme that it ultimately seemed to abandon, or perhaps came across as being burdened with having to carry into the conclusion.

Also it was super fixated on dads, like, The Major is basically Violet’s dad, his best buddy who goes on to hire Violet as a ghostwriter has a big reveal in the end that he’s been writing letters to his hypothetical future child, the sad dad playwright with the dead daughter -- I dunno what to do with all this besides the usual base level of suspicion I have for all dead-heavy content, but yeah!

There’s two movies, a side story from mid-way through the series and a sequel, and I feel like I almost have to watch them at some point, just so I can tie a neater bow on how I experienced this whole story, but yeah, Violet Evergarden, come for the cool metal typing hands, stay for the heartfelt explorations of what it means to love people, shift nervously in your seat when dads suddenly become involved!

[ponds-of-ink]

Okay, thanks! I think the hype’s calmed down a bit, but I’ve still got stuff in mind. Spoilers ahead for a few plot points in both the AU and in a couple of different Hunchback things.

Of course, we’ve got both sides of “Out There” to consider first. During the Frollo/Judge Glitch half, Agonia’s glow dims down a lot as soon as the judge opens his mouth. Not to the point where you can’t see it, of course, but it’s very faint. Even when the perspective shifts to where we can see and hear Agonia repeating the words back. He is absolutely upset about these ideas, though all Glitch sees is begrudging resignation.

Then, once Glitch leaves, Agonia regains his glow. It’s a slow start throughout the first half of Quasimodo’s/his own section, but it’s in full brightness by the time we hit the main chorus. And I’m talking absolute violet afterglow from head to toe here. His voice is a lot more like what we’re used to as well, but that’s not what I’m discussing here.

Meanwhile, in Topsy-Turvy, his afterglow is basically in its usual state (most likely because he doesn’t want to be caught or else it’d be a lot brighter) until the King of Fools event. Then it goes from weak due to the stress of accidentally terrifying everyone to the first external full-on shine after he gets crowned. Of course, that doesn’t last long..

Heaven’s Light is an interesting case. Through this song (here sung as a lullaby for Gregory), he’s singing about his face not being fit for Heaven’s light.. All while his glow is softly giving enough light for Gregory to sleep in the dark bell tower. I can’t tell if that’s sad irony or I’m just overthinking that it is.

Lifting from the musical for a moment, let’s jump alll the way to Made of Stone. There have definitely been moments where the guy’s afterglow has darkened considerably outside of these songs. No doubt about it.

But believe me when I say that this– This exact number– is what prompted me to mention what happens if that glow is pretty much extinguished. His inner voice breaks down, his afterglow is pretty much a glimmer, and his mind is so self-loathing and scrambled that he feels like he has to control inactive animatronics that are tethered to him by wires in order to get his point across.

And when we reach the ever-so-beloved climax of that song, he’s not interested in sounding decent. His aim is to make sure his mind is shut off and his emotions are dead. He lets his voice reach that part as “best” as it can while the wires leech off his ghostly energy, then collapses to the floor during the last note. If I were giving artist notes about an animatic with this guy for that song in particular, my only request is that the scene pretty much gets visually darker and darker until his glow fades out at the last orchestral thump. Like that one old animated movie trope where the last thing to fade in a particular shot is a villain’s eyes, but with that man’s entire ghostly being.

...Sorry if I went a bit too passionate near the end there. Just had a lot to say about Made of Stone in particular. It honestly gets my animatic brain spinning.

Anyway.. You’ll be happy to know that while the songs technically end there, the story itself doesn’t. Though Ruin has every (understandable) opportunity to derail this, I will say that Agonia does get his glow back shortly after this song. It’s through an unintentional wake-up call, but it gets the job done.

...But everything after that I won’t spoil. You’ll have to wait until I actually write that chapter to see what happens. Thankfully, we both shouldn’t have to wait long.

Oh snap.

I just realized that there’s been an opportunity for visual storytelling in the Notre Dame AU and I don’t think I’ve implied this at all.

Hear me out.

The purple afterglow Agonia has is a good thing here. It shows that he’s a bit more hopeful than he’s ever been ever since ‘83. Literally glowing with life (or something) despite his circumstances.

The brightest moments when he glows is either when he’s with his family or when his mind gets wrapped up in something he used to enjoy. Figuring out codes in the Pizzaplex system or having internal monologues being pretty good examples.

That glow dulls whenever Glitchtrap is around. Or, even worse, whenever those thoughts he drills into his mind fester and take a hold of it.

If that light goes out completely, then consider him dead. Not literally, of course, but it’s still a serious thing.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Shadow Into Light (Lena Restrospective) Finale!: Lena In Season 3! (Commission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome to the FINAL part of my look at the life and times of Lena Sabrewing. It’s been a long and satsifying journey through the character’s rich arc and some of Ducktales 2017′s best episodes. Lena started as a tourtured but complacient teen willing to do bloody awful evil things if it meant her freedom, who through the power of love and friendship realized what she was doing wrong, that she loved Webby and turned on Magica... and after a brief stint of this going horribly wrong a magica simply just bodyjacked her, she sacrificed herself for Webby he story seemingly done. Of course it wasn’t, Disney woudln’t let them kill a teenager... fully grown lion men horrifcally decaying indiana jones style yeah, of course it’s disney, but killing a teen is where they draw the line. Point is Lena was merley trapped in the shadow realm with a bunch of those guys Yugi beat and with the help of everyone’s faviorte stoic hummingbird, freed Lena. Lena found new family in Violet.. but also found dying is easy but living is harder and had to wrestle with both her fears of turning out like Magica and Magica herself who naturally was gaslighting her to try and get the last scraps of her power back. We also took a detour or two to see where she came from: looking at both Minima De Spell and her rivalry with a 34 year pretending to be a small child, and Magica’s Shadow whose like Lena except almost nothing like Lena. We also took a look at her one comic apperance which was never released here for some reason and was incredibly disapointing. 

So yeah i’ts been one long, fun ride filled with gay subtext, launchpad’s spider sense, giant legs, movie refrences from warriors to jaws to nightmare on elm street 3: the dream warriors, toddlers who look and probably are 34, launchpad apparently huffing enough paint to damage his brain as that’s the only way to explain the terror of the terrafirmains subplot and gay subtext. I’ve enjoyed every step of the way so before I take the last one of those steps, i’d like to thank all of ya for reading this. I’ve gained at least 10 if not more followers off this series alone and I appricate all of you. I’d also like to thank Kev for directly comissioning this, keeping me in work and in x-men comics since 2020. 

As you can probably guess by the title.. this one’s a bit different. This is a combination of two things: The first is that i already reviewed “The Phantom and the Sorceress” when I was reviewing each episode of Season 3 as it came out.  My thoughts have not changed  at all so I felt redoing that review would be redudant and a waste of Kev’s money. The same goes for Split Sword, which has the extra issue of  being a three story episode with only one of the parts starring the focus of this retrospective. The second is while she shows up about the same amount as season 2, her apperances in season 3 outside of her Christmas Cameo are all more substaial outside of her two starring roles. Both COTHJSW and The Last Adventure shed some more light on our faviorite shadow and feel like natural evolutions of her character so it felt wrong to just flat out ignore them. 

So rather than do a full review of the episodes i’m just going to go into Lena’s apperances for Season 3. This way I can cover Phantom again without fully repeating myself, and fully track the last steps Lena takes as the series closes out in a fresh and hopefully enjoyable way. So join me under the cut for one last step into the shadows as we finish bringing Lena into the light. 

Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks!

Challenge was one of the very first Ducktales I ever talked about on here, alongside Quack Pack, so it’s quite a trip returning to it a year later, even if i’ts just my memories of it. It’s also an excellent episode, with a great and engaging main plot and a “it’s just kind of there” subplot. 

It’s also one of the only three episodes to focus on Violet, and one of only two that focuses just on her and not on Lena in any way. It is a shame: While I love Lena as a character, I wouldn’t of just spent several weeks talking about her if I wasn’t getting paid for this retrospective or not, Violet is equally intriguing and so i’ll be taking a second out to talk about her as I really HAVEN’T gone into her character this retrospective and given how important she is to Lena and to all of us, most Lena fans like Violet just as much and vice versa. I’ll still be talking about Lena in this episode, obviously, but I feel her sister from two misters deserves some time in the spotlight too as the show only gave her three episodes, and one was more focused on Webby and Lena by design and the other we’ll get to. 

Violet is an excellent character. She speaks well and with little emotion but that’s just how she is and she’s never called out for it or insulted, something I like. Likewise she dosen’t judge others, never really batting an eye at the rest of the groups own quirks and at most being freaked out by leg huey a bit. She’s just a kind, curious, intellgent young lady. 

And this episode shows that off: We get to see her in the spotlight of her own, every bit the Woodchuck Huey is and more, but still supporting and encouring him, seeing their contest as a friendly one and putting no stakes into it as she’s failed before, she can fail again. What matters is she get back up and keep going. Her “razzing” is also just downright adorable, and nicely shows off her and Lena’s new dynamic: they’ve gone from friends to siblings, something really not shown off last time and something that wason’t confirmed on screen till now but it just works naturally, the cool and collected but chaotic underneath that lena just plays perfectly off the uttelry calm and deadpan violet. It’s a natural, perfect dynamic that they clearly had mapped out from the beggining and simply had to build up to that. 

Her genuine shock at Huey’s betryal... hurts the heart, as she genuinely thinks it’s her fault and not just my boy having a panic attack and doing something questionable. But it also shows her character.. when givne the same opprunity and no guilt for it, he struck first.. she dosen’t. She saves him because it’s the right thing to do and shows Huey she really is the bettter woodchuck.. but htere’s no shame in it. It’s okay to fail, what matters is you keep trying. And as a result despite giving Huey the opporunity to win with her.. he turns it down. She gets a deserved win, celebrating with her family and just wearing the most adorable smile. She also just has.. buckets of chemistry with Huey. I mean it was apparent to me with the whole Library Scene in Nightmare but god damn do they ramp it up with this one. They just contrast each other perfectly here, the handshake is adorable and he clings to her.. while also being hilarious “I naturlaly defer to authority!”. I will take this ship to my grave, and fully support it... that being said if you ship Huey/Boyd or all three togehter, go for it man. I do the latter sometimes. Your good. You didn’t need me to tell that but sometimes shipping discorse can get downright ugly so rather than make it a war between two ships, I just wanted to offer an olive branch for once you know? Same with Weblena. I obviously adore that ship but if you have a non-boys ship with her, tha’ts cool too. Ship what you want to.. i’m just doing me through this retrospective. 

Now back to Lena. Her apperance in this episode is really heartwarming and really nice after all the shit she’s been through. This is the first episode she’s in where NOTHING bad happens to her. No really, every apperance, even her two cameos had her suffer in some way. She spent the entire first season grappling with Magica, and her season 2 apperances trapped in a shadow dimension and nearly loosing her girlfriend to her own jealously, horrifically stalked by her abuser using her own self doubt against her, attacked by a literal tempest in a tea pot and captured by aliens. The girl has not gone one friggin onscreen break since the series started and probably not many off it either. 

Here? She just gets to cheer her little sister, proudly celebrating both her and her new dads. She gets to teach her sister to trash talk, even if that ends up backfiring a bit but she meant well. And she gets to celebrate with her family when her little sister wins. It’s all small stuff.. but it’s all things she’s NEVER had. A sibling to be proud of and support. Dads to sit with and go places with. A family to celebrate things with. This is all pretty normal stuff, but not something everyone gets to have and something Lena NEVER had even remotely. But now she’ll ALWAYS have that. A supportive loving family to give her a place to belong, and to support in turn. After a nightmarish 14-15 years of existance, she’s FINALLY allowed to just be happy without having to fight a giant monster first. 

She’s finally made it, she’s hoped and she’s waited, for the first time in her life she dosen’t feel alone. Her hearts started to heal, to know this is real, this is how it feels.. to have a home. Yes I haven’t given up on that song. And if you think this is the last time i’m going to quote a song you clearly didn’t read the review I did of the next episode. 

The Phantom and the Sorceress:

Season 3′s primary focus outside of the FOWL plot was tying up loose ends. Pretty much every major recurring episode outside of Fethry got an episode tying up their character arc and of course Lena was no exception.

You’d think with Magica no longer a threat to her and having fully accepted she’s a good person now, and having found a place to belong that Lena was done.  But while she accepted her past, that she’s not magica, and that she deserves to be happy.. she never accepted Magic as part of her despite being made of it and that’s what this episode ties up as well as the mystery of the blue aura that surronded her magic at times. 

The episode starts with Lena’s amulet, which she has back now which is the only part of this episode I don’t like as they don’t really explain why she’d take it back from Violet. But her magic keeps goofing up and making Sleepovers dangerous, and gets Scrooge grousing about how magic is bad.. only to naturally backpedal when an angry Webby points out Lena is magic. He does amend things and genuinely apologize for it, having not meant her at all and not even thinking of her as part of his hatred of the stuff. It also shows why Lena likely didn’t take him up on his offer.. with her self loathing still going she probably thought he was just pitting her and would always resent her.. when really he just geninely did not care despite his overwhelming hate of magic. It worked out granted, she found a better fit for her family wise.

But Lena hates it too.. and while she hasn’t fully brought it up before it makes perfect sense: We saw how she viewed it as dangerous and not worth the risk to bring her back in Friendship Hates Magic and Magic has brought her nothing but pain, nearly killing her on several occasions, allowing magica to fuck with her head  or directly control her and general putting the one person she cares about more than anyone in harms way. She hates what she is.. because it’s brought her nothing but pain and misery. She has ever reason to resent it..

Yet this episode is about forcing her to accept it.... to realize that Magic is part of who she is, and that it’s not inherently good or bad, it’s all about the intent of who uses it. Her last two uses of it were not made with any malice and in fact using it to pull her friends into her dreams allowed her to break free of Magica. 

And it’s perfectly done by giving her a new enemy, something I REALLY wish tehy’d done with Fenton at some point, but get why it took this long with Lena: The Phantom Blot. The Phantom Blot, like many characters in this series is HEAVILY redone: he keeps the iconic look and threat level but instead of being an operatic supervillian, he’s an anti-villian with a link to magic he never really had before. He works with FOWL sure but it’s likely because unlike the rest of FOWL he actually agrees with Bradford’s goal for a less chaotic world and his desire to wipe out magic is perfectly in line with that. 

He’s also given a backstory that perfectly parallels him with Lena: Both were created by Magica in a way and horribly abused by her: Lena mentally and phsycially, and Blot by having to suffer under her rule after he took over her family and then barely survivie as she wiped out his villiage, his family and his normal life swearing vengance on her. LIke Lena magica didn’t care about him or see him as a threat, figuring like most people who swore eteneral vengance on her he’d get swatted down like a gnat once and never return. INstead he returned again and again and again for decades, learning each time getting stronger and wiping out more magic along the way. He went from what was probably a good normal person to a vengeful vigliante dedicated to wiping out magic good or bad because he can’t concieve that it isn’t ALL bad. He’s easily what Lena could’ve become if , ironically enough she hadn’t encountered him, seeing the end result of hating something just for what it is as it tried to murder her. That hating and resenting Magic would just lead her to become as hollow and vengful as the blot, having a good cause to start.. but slowly loosing yourself to hate and anger. Letting the person who ruined your life still control it simply by focusing all your energy on hating them and people like them. 

It also gives us an interesting and painful teamup as with the boys and Scrogoe stuck in another dimension, there’s only one person they can turn to deal with Magic: Magica herself, whose resulted to depression eating pizza and the most she can do as a threat is eat the garlic Violet was wearing in case of vampires (”There now your susceptible to vampires!” is easily the best joke of the episode, from how Magica eats the garlic in one bite to her manical laugh to Violet just being annoyed rather than terrified or anything). Magica only agrees because they have a common enemy and if he sucks up her magic amulet, that’s the end of any magic she has left. 

It’s also here we learn the reason for the blue and purple color coding: Duckworld magic is indeed color coded.. but rather than be based ont he emotions used or anything.. it’s based on the user. The purple is Magica, and as we later learn Poe’s, magic, and thus Lena borrowing it via the amulet. The Blue is HER magic. Tapping into her emotions and her own inante power. It’s a nice twist I didn’t see coming but makes absolute sense in hindsight: Every time she’s triggered it.. it’s been when she’s been using her own emotions and been doing thigns for her own good, and not for anyone elses. It also explains why the Magica powers aren’t working for her or stable: their not HERS to control and thus are fighting her. 

So she trains to use her own using the time honorted traditions of montages and having your sibling shoot things at you out of a magical amulet. She grows in her talent and power and herself, even if she learns from the person she hates more and comes to accept magic.. in time to fight the Blot who misguidedly thinks harming her will show Magica the pain he felt.. even though as we learn later that ship already sailed and we already knew she cares nothing for Lena. 

But as he drains her amulet... she focuses on what she cares about... and if we didn’t already ahvea  MOUNTAIN of subtext for webby and lena her “frienddship” montage has maybe one or two shots of her sister.. and about 80 of webby. Seriously they.. they weren’t even hiding it at this poitn outside of the finale, which we’ll get to. 

And so she takes hold of her magic, no longer need the amulet to channel it and taking on her super mode! Which was highly contreversal at the time.  BUt I get why. As a transformation, ala dragon ball, and a superhero type costume it works, giving her a power and grandeur not seen before and showing she’s using all of it, giving weight to when it only shows up in the finale when she needs it most and likely would’ve given it weight any other time it showed up. But it wasn’t clear if this was her permenant look now and Frank’s response to it was to say he wanted to dress everyone up in that outfit , at the same size Lena has it, including launchpad wearing it like a cape. Which while hilarious and it was, was also blatant trolling as her return in Split Sword showed it wasn’t her default form, and they could relax. But as a form showing the apex of her power, character development and confidence, it works and has all the drama i’d expect from a form like this, reflecting the blot’s power back onto him and overloading the gauntlet and facing down Magica easily. 

It’s the perfect way to cap things off... Lena finally acccepts herslef as she is fully: she’s not evil and neither is magic.. magic is a part of her and her power is not something to hate.. but to embrace. To use to protect the world from people LIKE Magica who would misue their power to harm others or the blot who belivie her power is inherently evil. This is a lena freed from the chains of self hatred, fully accepted. It turns her story into a wonderful, beautiful story of escaping abuse and accepting yourself as who you are, that no matter what you are or where you come from, you are beautiful, you are good and you can do good. And as she flies off with her sister and girlfriend, she’s finally, fully, truly at peace with who she was who she is now and flies into the future.. and to free her girlfirends dad from another dimension. Nothing is holding her back now, no one can push her around, she’s who she wants to be, she’s the master of her, and the thoughts enough to lift her off of the ground. She and Webby are independent together and they are flying. And yes i’m linking the song again. 

But even with her character Arc Wrapped she still could support others in their own growth. Case in point:

The Split Sword of Swanstantine!

This was the vingette episode, with a pair of the kids, one from Team Magic the other from the Duck Boys, going after a piece. And while Violet’s segment is neat it dosent’ really expand on her enough for me to go into it like I did with Challenge, so i’ll only be covering the cold open and Lena and Huey’s segment. Given these two are some of my faviorites, Lena hasn’t really gotten to have any meaningful interactoins with anyone besides Webby, Violet and Magica (And scrooge but for like.. two minutes), and this bit is really creative and intresting I loved it. It also has Steelbeak so I got a nice Jason Mantzokus fix on top of that despite him barely getting to speak in this one.. and really all season. Season 3 REALLY wasted Steelbeak, only using him three times and just ignoring the whole idea of him growing more compitent with time. Maybe Frank’s saving that for darkwing duck if he gets to do that I dunno. At least Invincible and Close Enough are using the man properly so I got that. 

THe setup to the episode as a whole is comedic gold: Scrooge has taken the kids to Monocrow to find the split sword, one of the missing mysteries before FOWl.. only to then realizze in one of the best jokes of the season, after HOURS of plane travel probably that Violet and Lena had also come along having slept over and thus spending the episode in their sleep clothes. As Violet puts it in LIebe’s best delivery of the series “You said eveyrone get on the plane so we got on the plane”. So, fricking relatable. Scrooge’s awkard “Do you.. like history?” is also great, David is a treasure, as if he’s just now realizing he really dosen’t know Webby’s closest friend and girlfriend and is scrambling for some common ground so he can stop talking. 1/2′s good enough and we’re off. 

Lena and Huey’s plot, the final one of the three, likewise has a simple setup: Huey finds the sword piece.. and also Steelbeak, whose ready to punch  him some children. Lena freezes time as she can do that but can’t delay the inveitble, just give them time to plan. 

And this is a nice showcase for Huey and a nice chance for Lena to be snarky as Huey wants to try anything and everything he can do that dosen’t involve fighting as he hates it and Lena endulges him as he gets tossed around, playing on her phone while he tries dumb scheme after dumb scheme from prtending to be his dad, to his inner child, to construction to offering him a snack, to “what sword piece” while hodling the sword blade twice his side behind his back.

Lena eventually calls him on it: He can’t keep avoiding this and there’s some reason he dosen’t want to fight. The reason turns out to be he bruce bannered himself and thus has a split personality for all his agression and primal rage, the duke of making a mess,  Huey’s version fo the McDuck family anger he’s buried away and is ashamed of, hating his  more impuslive emotions due to his desire for control. 

As for how Lena impacts this.. it’s her own acceptance of the part of her she hated, her magic, that gives her the clarity to help Huey, helping him realize like her this shit isn’t healthy and to make peace with the Duke instead of fighting him and locking him away. The result is a perfect combo: a huey with all the power and strength of a mcduck, but the nuance and tactics Huey normally has to beat Steelbeak easily. Lena is impressed, a friendship is forged and we see how far sh’es come: from hating herself.. to helping others stop doing it before it gets worse. 

How Santa Stole Christmas!

All we really learn here is that she and Violet share a room and a king sized bed.. but we got that cheek smooch and I had to mention that so there you go. 

The Last Adventure!:

Like most of the main cast Lena gets a decent note to go out on, if a bit wobbly. The wobblyiness comes from two sources. The first is just a nitpick of mine; We don’t get to see the climax of her fight with the Blot alongside Manny. No really. The Blot got two spotlight episodes, his own sidekick/wife/amy sedaris, and was built up as one of FOWL’s biggest threats.. and his defeat isn’t even shown on screen for some damn reason. I feel they just ran out of time but given how important Lena and Manny were series wide and how awesome the keith david reveal was, it’s a cop out

Speaking of Cop Outs we can’t talk about this episode without talknig about the elephant in the room: Lena saying Webby “already has two sisters”, seemingly shooting down any posiblity of Weblena. I do not see it that way but do feel the two could’ve phrased it better and we could’ve gotten SOME Weblena by the end instead of none to offset this. I feel Lena’s motivations, esecpailly given the context were purely to try and placate Webby to keep her from investigating the twins further and endangering herself, not realizing how badly this wouldn’t work as Lena’s never cared about where she comes from and her past is all pain and abuse before Webby, while Webby had this gnawing at her her whole life. I do think the last episode was the WORST POSSIBLE place to put this, as it comes off as queerbaiting evne though I don’t think that was the intent. So yeah this line sucks and was poorly conveyed. 

Everything else though is thankfully excellent: Her raging frekaout at June feels warranted, as June is literally trying to cut Webby out of her life and was purposffully trying to galight webby as we find out. Her and Violet’s reason for going is also just pure awesome, pure heartwarming and pure badass, both angrily and simply proclaming when stating why their going on the final attack no fowl “It’s Webby”. Webby helped Lena become a better person and lnvoes her more than anyone else and vice versa and Webby gave Violet Friends, a sister and a life of her own. Nothings going to stop them and Scrogoe wisely backed down on that one before they strangled him. 

Her final scene is the best though: Not only do she and Violet give May and June friendship braclets but despite the earlier hostlitlity... Lena helps them with not a second though. She now understands them, gets that their like her: a being made by an evil dickhead who saw them as a tool to use and not a person and was willing to kill them the moment they were no longer useful. She too was once lost, sad and felt alone..but Webby pulled her out of that and now she’s going to be there for these two, these alterante versions of the love of her life, to give them the same support and encourages them they’ll find their home. And sure enough my boy comes by not a second later to adopt both of them. In an instnat they’ve gone from alone with only webby like Lena was.. to having a family of their own and loyal friends to stay by their sid.e 

And so Lena ends the series charing off into the wild blue with her sister and her newfound friends, the future all ahead of her, the past finally put to bed, and herself finally at peace, in love with Webby.. and with herself at long last. 

This retrospective was a wonderful time. I throughly enjoyed going through Lena’s history and being more and more impressed how much I’d missed and how it was even BETTER the second time around. This arc is Ducktales at it’s best and Lena is the finest thing they acomplished. This is easily Kimiko Glenn’s best role and really let her show off her range. Hopefully this isn’t the last we’ll see of this wonderful lesbian shadow, but as it stands with peace, love and self worth found, it’s still a good place to leave her. If she ever returns i’ll of course pick this up again, and free of charge but for now I enjoyed the ride and throughly enjoyed this retrospective. T

Thank you all so much for reading. If you liked this retrospective, please stick around. My next comissioned story arc is covering the various crossovers Lilo and Stitch did, but after that in three weeks return here for Season 2. All three arcs, All done intermidtley. Buckle up. 

Until then follow for more, and join my patreon. My next stretch goal is monthly reviews of darkwing duck and reviews of the super ducktales mini series, and after finsihing this post i’m going to throw in some extra non-duck ones! 25 is being changed up from covering Tailspin every month, to covering a Danny Phantom episode every month, and the beloved special ultimate enemy. So check that out. I may throw in some more on both 20 and 25 so stay posted. And just for joining at the 2 dollar tier you get acess to my discord server and get to pick one of the shorts for my varoius shortstaculars I do. Next one up is goofy’s birthday with Donalds in june so join now! 

ANd if you just have one speciifc episode I haven’t covered you’d like me to, those are 5 bucks a pop on commission and available via my ask box, direct messages on here or discord at technicolormuk#6550 and until the next rainbow i’ts been a pleasure

[anotheronechicagobog]

Fire Meets Fate - Brettsey - Chapter 1 - Violet Opens Her Big Mouth

warnings: swearing, mature themes, character death (Andy Darden), canon compliant tragedy

Summary: Violet Casey, Matt's favourite (and only) niece points out what Matt had been so blind to; Gabby Dawson has the hots for him. While he is engaged. While Matt is most definitely... Shocked at this news, he is in no way pleased. As a result, they never get together.

“I don’t like Gabby.”

“What? Why not, you’re always talking about how much you like her food.”

“Yeah, her food’s amazing- she isn’t.”

“Violet, why would you think that?”

“And that is why I’m bringing it up, you, uncle lieutenant, are oblivious. Gabby has the hots for you.”

“She does not.”

“Yes, she does! Ask anyone, ask uncle Kelly, ask Hallie, ask Gabby.”

“We’re friends and friends alone, Gabby does not love me.”

“I didn’t say ‘love’, I said that she has the hots for you, which is totally different. If she loved you she wouldn’t flirt with you every chance she got, including whenever you and Hallie are on a break.”

“She doesn’t-”

“Flirt with you? Yes, she does. She also makes puppy dog eyes at you and bites her lip whenever you’re not looking. Look, I’m not telling you that she’s not nice, or that you shouldn’t be friends with her, it’s just that I’ve noticed she likes you more than she should, and that sometimes her ‘friendship’ has an ulterior motive.”

“Violet-”

“Just keep it in mind, okay uncle Matt?”

And he did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know how when you start learning to drive, and all the bad driving habits people had, like rolling stops, were pointed out to you? And how once the blinders were ripped off, you couldn’t unsee anything? Well finding out Gabby ‘has the hots’ for him had the same effect. Suddenly he couldn’t hold eye contact with her because he saw longing and lust beneath them, he heard the lengthy pauses and felt the weight of her gaze when anyone asked her about her love life, and whenever she spoke to him he noticed hidden and double meanings in her words. Honestly, it made him a little uncomfortable. And his niece was right, he was completely oblivious! So. Damn. Oblivious. But at first he thought that he was just seeing things, I mean, Violet was fourteen what did she know about non-platonic relationships. Wait... What did she know about non-platonic relationships?! She’s only fourteen! Casey’s horror-filled internal realizations were interrupted by Severide. The man who was once one of his best friends now seemed more like a mortal enemy. Picking fights. Doubting his decision. Second-guessing his judgment. Snide comments. Matt had truly forgotten just how sharp Kelly’s tongue was until they weren’t on the same side anymore. “What did you and Heather talk about at the barbeque?”

“Just about Andy and Griffin. Whenever someone asks, she says they’re holding up as well as can be expected, but I think there’s more going on that she’s not seeing yet because she’s still grieving too.”

“Well, maybe if Heather actually brought the boys around here, or me. There wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Okay, you know what? I’m done. I have tried to talk to Heather about bringing the boys here, about letting them see you, you think I haven’t? But she’s hurting and she blames you. I’ve tried talking her down, and I know that Andy’s death isn’t either of our faults, but I can’t control someone else’s emotions. So stop baring your teeth at me over it. I have tried, and failed, and I am tired, okay? I lost my two best friends in one day! And one of them is actually here, and alive, and safe but growls at me every time I walk near him!”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a blue tank top, jeans, and wedges, Gabby approached Matt in the locker room. “My brother called me...” Of course he did. If Matt had felt like he had any other trustworthy officers to turn to, he wouldn’t have asked Gabby to contact her brother. Nothing stays secret between those two. And this was something that only added to the feeling of centipedes marching up and down his spine. He didn’t want her to know about his private life before he did, he didn’t want her in the loop. He normally had no issue with criticism so long as it was based in merit and not bias. And lately he couldn’t help but feel that Violet was right about Gabby and ulterior motives.

“... You holding up alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Good.” With a quick nod to her, he left. No long looks, no asking her what she would have done, no ‘honest answers’, no soulful eyes or parted lips, he didn’t want anymore personal, intimate, talks between them anymore. She may just be a friend to him, but he wasn’t just a friend to her, and he didn’t know how to handle that situation just yet. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt walked towards the kitchen, ready to get some breakfast and coffee after all the paperwork he had to do before eight in the morning. He winced internally when he saw Gabby crossing the room with arms full of Halloween candy packages. Even just looking at her now set him on edge. He didn’t have confirmation about Violet was right, but as time went on, her actions and her words and her body language, both past and present, were glaring confirmations. He did his best to blend into the background, fade into the noise of the firehouse, and it worked. Mills was getting more and more frustrated that they only had salt and pepper for spices, but then Gabby, still on the counter from putting the candy up high, laid her hand on his shoulder, and told him where she kept the spices she uses when she cooks. “... I used up the rest of the saffron the last time I cooked.” While Gabby didn’t look back at Mills as she walked away, burning a hole inside of Matt’s head instead, the candidate’s eyes followed her form as she walked away, amazement on playing on his features. Matt smiled, maybe her love of cooking would bring her and Mills together.

And then the bells went off.

Once on the scene, Casey was brought back to a phone call he had early in the morning with Luke Hermann.

FLASHBACK

“Hello?”

“Uncle Matt, it’s Luke.”

“Hey, Luke, is everything alright?”

“No. I mean yeah, at home, I mean dad did walk in on grandpa in the bathroom again, but things here are good, but no...”

“Luke what’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I don’t want my dad to die.”

“Oh, Luke... Hey, bud, it’s okay, don’t cry.”

“But he almost died, and so did you! When uncle Andy died it seemed so far away, like it couldn’t happen to my dad, but then...”

“Hey, I know. Everyone at the firehouse, we love your dad. And you. We’re all looking out for him and watching his back, okay? We always do everything we can to make sure he goes home to you.”

“But that’s not enough sometimes, is it?”

“Luke, your dad loves you more than anything, he will always do whatever it takes to make it through a shift and back home to the people he loves more than anything else in the world. And his in-laws.” The uncontrollable sounds coming from the boy had changed from crying to laughing, and Matt couldn’t help but crack a smile amongst his own misty eyes. Hermann really didn’t get along with his in-laws, did he?

FLASHBACK OVER

The call ended up being a small kitchen fire, minimal damage, no one was injured, but Casey remained in a sour mood. He couldn’t promise the safety of his colleagues in their line of work, and that was pissing him off more than usual today.

“Alright, everyone, today our own Jose Vargas transfers over from truck to squad.”

Casey and Severide were at odds, but that didn’t mean the rest of the house had to be, and it really was a tragedy that tensions spilled over quite a bit. So Matt made sure that he looked as genuine as he felt while shaking his brother in arms’ hand, “best of luck.”

“Thanks, lieutenant.” He still felt a bit like he was losing one to the enemy, so he retreated to his office. Which turned out to be a pretty bad move, considering all he could do was think about Voight. If he was being honest, Matt was afraid of what he’d gotten himself into. He knew it was the right thing, he just wondered if he’d make it out the other side unscathed. His mind kept wandering to those action movies about stopping dirty cops. Kidnapping, torture, death. He couldn’t help but wonder if that was Voight’s style.

“Hey.” And then suddenly Hallie was there, in a red sweater and black leggings. “Hey yourself, what are you doing here?”

“I just thought I’d come by for a visit, are you okay? You’ve been drifting off a lot lately.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“Well, I have to admit, there’s another reason I stopped by. To see if you were up for something that we talked about but never got around to doing?” Playfully lust eyes met his as she shut the blinds on his door. And like magic, Matt’s day got a whole lot better.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Closed doors didn’t always have connotations, but in the firehouse they did. Everything was based on context, sometimes it meant that whoever was on the other side was sleeping in their office. Sometimes it was paperwork, or alone time, or some not-so-alone time with a special someone. Or like now, where the chief ushered in a police captain, detective, and then requested his presence. Everyone was well aware by now of his debacle with Voight, so they stayed clear. Casey was seething. The ‘captain’ basically came all this way to tell them that IA was conducting a BS investigation and that despite the fact that he was Voight’s superior, he couldn’t do anything. And then Antonio spoke up. Volunteered. Matt looked him in the eye, and while he could tell the man was honourable and that he’d do everything he could, Matt couldn’t help but wonder if it had anything to do with Gabby.

“Thank you, detective Dawson.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Guys who assaulted you have a record. Guaranteed.” Matt was sore, but not sore enough to miss a shift, and certainly not sore enough to look at binders filled with the photos of known offenders with Antonio. Gabby entered to grab her stuff just as Matt got past the first page. Until  Matt’s rang with Hallie checking in he used that as an excuse to pretend she wasn’t even in the room. “Hey, just looking at photographs, tattoos.” 

“You never know.” Hallie was being the optimist for once, and Matt couldn’t be more grateful for it.

“That’s right.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Even before he responded to Hallie Matt could practically feel Gabby’s sadness. It was palpable. He could actually feel the realization shift in Antonio Dawson. So when Matt hung up the phone, he didn’t look at either of them. He pretended that he didn’t see their facial expressions out of the corner of his eye, that he didn’t sense the longing in Gabby’s delayed departure from the briefing room, that he didn’t feel the weight in Antonio start to shift as he leaned on the table to watch Matt look through the binder. And then the bells went off.