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lionlena · 8 months ago

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I can't be everywhere (No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader) ANGST! Part 3

Summary: You knew Joel was a busy man, but you never thought that when you needed him most you would hear, "I can't be everywhere." As if your pain meant nothing. So you decided that you couldn't be everywhere either… You couldn't be in his heart anymore.

Warnings: NSFW, self-harm (something like that), rough sex, p in v, unprotected sex, ANGST, miscarriage, misunderstanding, loss, mourning, broken heart, age gap (17 years), Joel is 45, depression, Joel tries hard, but… He can't show his true emotions…

Part 3

You thought being away from Joel, away from the place that reminded you of the loss of your baby, would help you, but it didn't. You felt like you were starting to get depressed, and living with your friend wasn't helping you at all. Maddie was sweet, but she tried too hard. You felt like she was taking on the role of your mother. She was worried that you weren't eating enough, that you weren't going out enough, and her attempts to talk to you about going to therapy only made you angry.

Deep down you knew she wanted good for you, but in your emotional state, you just had the desire to reject her. And that's exactly what you did. You found an apartment to rent and two weeks after you first entered her apartment, you moved out.

After finding a new apartment, you didn't feel any better. You tried to occupy your mind, find a new hobby, work more, but… You ended up sitting in the corner of your bedroom and crying. You processed thousands of scenarios in your head. Maybe you should have had an abortion? Then it would all be over before it began. Maybe not? Maybe you would suffer more and hate Joel more. Maybe you had a bad diet? You didn't take folic acid before pregnancy because… You weren't planning a pregnancy. Thousands of thoughts that did not allow you to sleep and function normally. Being able to work from home didn't make anything easier either, because you didn't have to go outside. You always had a tendency to overthink and get anxious, but when you were with Joel it was easier for you. He always knew how to put your mind at ease. He wrapped his strong arms around you and pulled you to his chest. He kissed your head and murmured sweet things. Joel wasn't a man of many words, but his embrace was enough. You felt then safe and surrounded by a protective cocoon of love. But you weren't sure if it would help you now. * Joel hated the emptiness that filled his house. The emptiness that reflected his interior. He slowly realized how much he should have changed in his life and himself. He didn't know if this would get you back, but he had to do something because he felt like he was going crazy. He started by renovating the house or rather building another room… A children's room. He decided to tear down the wall and enlarge the room that had once served as Sarah's dressing room and storage room for her toys. He knew it was crazy, and Tommy didn't hesitate to say it to his face when he visited to watch a game and drink beer.

"Are you crazy? Let me understand this correctly. You are building a children's room now, for a baby who…"

Joel grimaced. When he heard it out loud, he realized how stupid it was, but he was going to defend himself.

"No. Look, I'm not crazy, I know it won't bring this baby back to life, but… I should have started doing this as soon as I found out about Y/N's pregnancy. I know it seems crazy now, but… I have to do this and… It doesn't have to be the nursery. When Y/N comes back… If she comes back, she'll decide. It could be her office, guest room, home gym… Whatever."

Tommy took a sip of his beer and nodded.

"Okay… Now that sounds a little more reasonable. Shall I help you?"

Joel smiled a little. Sometimes his younger brother was very annoying, but he could always count on his support.

"Sure."

The younger Miller looked at him and asked quietly:

"Has Y/N spoken to you?"

Joel reached for another beer and shook his head.

"He replies to my text messages, but as briefly as possible. Usually, it's just a dry: okay, I'm fine, don't call…"

Tommy sighed and nodded.

"So for now, no chance of her coming back."

"No, but… If this is your way of trying to get out of helping me with the renovation, it's too late."

Tommy laughed softly.

"Not at all… I promised it, so I'll help you." * A month and a half had passed since you left and Joel was losing hope of any reconciliation with you. He felt lost and maybe a little disappointed. He just wanted a chance, one little chance. He was ready to do anything, to fall on his knees in front of you and beg for forgiveness. He would promise you everything.

When he got your text message with the address of the new apartment and the request to send your things, he felt his heart break once again, and then… He knew that what he wanted to do was crazy, that you would be furious, but it was his last hope. *

When you heard the doorbell, you were sure it was the courier with your things. From what Joel wrote, everything was fit into four boxes. You walked across the living room and kicked the pizza box under the couch. You didn't care that your hair was messy and you were wearing Joel's old t-shirt that you took before leaving him. You couldn't even explain why you were wearing it. You told yourself it was comfortable, but you knew it wasn't everything. You opened the door and your heart sank.

"What the fuck…"

That was the first thing you managed to say when you saw Joel with a bouquet, his hair slicked back and looking too good for your opinion.

Joel expected such a reaction, so he didn't lose his confidence and gently said:

"Hey, Y/N…" He looked you up and down. He saw that you didn't look your best. The fact that you were wearing his t-shirt made him feel both happy and melancholy.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" you hissed.

You wanted to slam the door, preferably to hit him in the nose, but you knew it was pointless. Joel would probably be banging on the door anyway. You would never think that he would take time off work and drive so many miles to see you. This seemed out of character for him. So he must have been desperate.

"I brought your things. I thought it would be better if I did it myself, just to… To make sure they reach you."

You huffed and looked at him disapprovingly. It was such a pathetic excuse.

"Yeah, of course."

Joel lowered his head and scratched the back of his neck.

"I wanted to see you." He said contritely. "Call me an idiot, an asshole… A motherfucker, but… I miss you."

Something about his voice and attitude made you soften. This wasn't the same Joel who hurt you in the hospital. It didn't mean you forgave him, but… You missed him too. You missed his body, the grip of his hands on your hips. You felt yourself getting warm. You had this sudden need to replace your emotional pain with a moment of oblivion. You grabbed Joel by his shirt and dragged him inside. You grabbed the flowers he was holding for you and tossed them aside.

"I missed…" You growled and started to undo his belt. "…for this."

Joel's eyes widened and he gasped in surprise. His hands were shaking as he grabbed yours and tried to stop you from what you were doing.

"Y/N what are you doing… I… That's not what I came for."

You felt like laughing. You knew perfectly well that he wasn't here to have sex. Joel might be an asshole sometimes, but he would never do something like this. You didn't care, you were going to push him over the edge. Use him like a fucking toy.

"I want you to fuck me! Hard, fast, rough… So I can feel it in next day…"

Joel's face turned red and he swallowed hard.

"But… I… I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't give a damn what you want!"

Joel swallowed. Part of him wanted to push you away, beg you to come back to your senses. He didn't come to make love to you. He wanted to talk to you and beg for forgiveness, but on the way to you, he promised himself that he would do whatever you wanted. And you wanted rough sex. So he put aside morality and common sense and turned on his animal instincts. He thought it was too simple, but the truth was that you always turned him on, even in his stretched-out t-shirt. He grabbed your buttocks and picked you up onto the kitchen counter. You smirked. You had him exactly where you wanted him. You saw the bulge in his pants. Joel grabbed your thighs and said:

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He didn't need more, he took off your shorts and panties in one move. His hand went to your pussy, but before he could touch your clit, you grabbed his hand.

"No… Without preparation."

Joel looked at you with dark eyes and growled.

"I won't fuck you when you are dry! You want me to hurt you. I'll do it the way you want… Hard… Rough, but…" He sighed and his gaze became pleading. "Please."

You wanted to continue arguing with him, but you knew he was right. He was capable of fucking you so hard that you would feel it the next day, even if he prepared you. You nodded, and his thumb immediately began rubbing rhythmic circles on your clit. His free hand reached for his cock, which was already half-hard.

You tilted your head back and moaned softly as you felt him insert one finger into you.

He too made a few grunts as he stroked his cock, which was already standing proudly.

When you felt yourself getting closer to climax, you grabbed his wrist and growled:

"Enough! I'm ready…"

He looked at you in surprise and grimaced. You knew what he meant. He was a master at preparing you, and he never stopped stretching you with just one finger.

"Are you… Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Joel sighed and shook his head, but he was already aroused and saw that there was no point in arguing with you. He pulled away for a moment and lowered his pants and boxers. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and went to pull out a condom, but you stopped him again. This time there was anger in his eyes.

"Y/N…" he growled warningly.

But you weren't going to take a step back.

"I'm not making you finish inside me… You'll take out before you come."

You saw the moment he gave up. He simply didn't have the energy to fight you as his erect cock twitched with anticipation, wanting to feel your warm core.

"All right."

He grabbed your hips and pulled you to the edge of the kitchen counter. You felt his cock head against your pussy. You bit your lip and nodded slightly at him. You knew it would hurt, but you wanted it.

Joel pushed into you with one brutal thrust, causing the air to escape from your lungs. You dug your nails into his shoulders and gasped. Joel moved closer to you. His lips were on your neck as he growled,

"This is what you wanted…" And then, more gently, he added, "Should I stop?"

"NO." You hissed.

And that was it. He figured you got a chance earlier to back out. He wanted you in that animalistic way, even though he knew how wrong it was. He gripped your hips tightly and that was his only warning before he started pounding into you.

He didn't even give you a moment to adjust to his thrusts. You held onto him tightly, completely at his mercy. You had no control over the speed or force of his thrusts. You screamed as the pain mixed with pleasure.

Joel got lost in your body and he couldn't think straight. He finally felt your warm body, and your scent, and heard your voice. For a few seconds, he could forget everything that had happened. He could pretend you never broke up.

He just came home from work and you greeted him in his t-shirt and soaked panties and offered him your pussy instead of dinner. So he accepted it happily and took you here and now.

You moaned louder and louder as you felt your climax getting closer. Your thighs were trembling, your breathing quick and shallow.

"Jooo… I…"

You dug your nails deeper into his flesh as you climaxed. Joel grunted as he felt your vaginal muscles tighten around his cock. He knew he had to get out of you… Quick.

You hissed in pain when he pulled out of you without warning and with a decisive movement. He leaned back and grabbed his dick. A few movements of his hand were enough for him to come. His cum landed on your thighs and the kitchen counter.

Joel pulled up his boxers and pants. He moved closer to you and rested his head on your shoulder, breathing heavily.

You raised your hand, wanting to do what you always did, which was to run your hand through his hair, but in the end, you stopped yourself.

After a few moments, Joel controlled his breathing and pulled away, and then… He grabbed you and held you in his arms. You didn't expect this. He carried you to the couch and carefully laid you down.

"Bathroom?"

"In the hall on the right…" you muttered.

Joel nodded and when he was gone you closed your eyes and sighed. You still felt the pain from his strong thrusts, but it finally made your mind go blank. There were no unnecessary thoughts, just a feeling of fulfillment and pain mixed with pleasure.

You didn't even notice when Joel came back. When you felt the wet, warm towel between your thighs, you yelped in surprise and jumped. Joel immediately placed his hand on your belly and said soothingly:

"I'm just going to clean you up… How are you feeling?"

You blinked in surprise. It's not that Joel was never tender and caring, and yet… He was never that caring. You cleared your throat and muttered:

"I'm okay…"

Joel nodded and placed a soft kiss on your thigh.

"Do you need anything? Water? A painkiller? A warm compress?"

You frowned and shook your head.

"No… I just want to take a nap."

"Of course."

Joel immediately got up and lay down next to you, wrapping his arms around you. Well… that's not what you wanted. But when you felt his warm, strong body pressing against your body, you gave up. When you felt him kiss your head, you allowed yourself to relax. You haven't slept well in weeks. Before you thought twice, you fell into a deep sleep. * In the morning you woke up in bed. You slowly sat up and blinked in surprise. You looked around confused, thinking maybe it was all a dream, but then you moved your hips and felt yourself sore. You looked at your watch and realized that you had slept for over twelve hours. Your eyes widened in surprise. What added to the shock was the fact that there was a glass of water and Advil on the bedside table. After a while, you heard a noise coming from the kitchen. You carefully got out of bed and put on a clean T-shirt and shorts. You slowly moved towards the kitchen. You smelled food, which made you feel hungry. You noticed boxes of your things in the living room. And then Joel standing at the kitchen stove caught your attention. His back was turned to you and you could admire his broad shoulders and muscular back.

Joel turned around and smiled warmly when he saw you.

"Hey… Did you sleep well?"

You frowned, wondering if maybe you were sleeping. You ignored his question and sat down at the kitchen table.

"What happened?"

Joel sighed, the smile disappearing from his face when he noticed that you weren't happy at all.

"You fell asleep… You slept so soundly that my attempts to wake you up were useless. I moved you to the bedroom, brought your things, slept on the couch, and… Now I'm making you breakfast."

You snorted, wondering if he was serious.

"You're making me breakfast? Wow. Where did you get the idea that I wanted that? Where did you get the idea that I wanted you to stay here for the night."

Joel cocked his head to the side as if he didn't even understand what you were saying.

"But… I thought that… We… You…"

You felt irritation rising within you.

"That what? That I forgave you because you fucked me? No, Joel… I just needed it, that's all."

Joel felt like you hit him in the chest with something heavy. Yes, he knew he deserved it. He nodded and looked at you sadly.

"Do you want me to…"

"To come back to Texas. Now."

You were a little afraid that Joel would start arguing with you, that maybe he would say something that would hurt you, but… He just walked to the couch, gathered his things, put on his jacket, and then walked up to you and kissed your head. He took you completely by surprise and you couldn't even push him away.

"Let me know if you need anything, I'll fly to you… And remember that I'm waiting for you. And I will wait as long as you need."

When he left, you realized you had been holding your breath the whole time. You took a shaky breath and felt tears streaming down your cheeks. You couldn't move. You looked at the cup of coffee and cheese toast that Joel had left on the counter. You wrapped your arms around yourself and allowed yourself more tears. *

A/N 1) Before you comment, please bear in mind that I want to show that depression sometimes comes in many forms. Depressed people are prone to dangerous behavior, such as sex with strangers. Unfortunately, I myself found out in the past that physical pain brought me relief from mental pain. If some people are dissatisfied with the reader's behavior, I'm sorry, but no one is forcing you to continue reading.

2) I watched scenes from episode 6 hundreds of times and concluded that Joel is an emotional orphan. Joel cannot express his own feelings, so he adapts to the feelings of others. In the first conversation with Tommy (the one in the bar), Tommy is a bit pushy, tense, and rough, and… Joel reacts with exactly the same emotions. In their second conversation, Tommy shows much more empathy, compassion, and calm, he is more open, so Joel opens up to him. In turn, in a conversation with Ellie, who attacks him (which, by the way, is normal for teenagers), Joel obviously takes on her emotions. And that's why when Y/N throws herself at him and encourages him to have rough sex, he naturally picks up on her lack of control and unbalanced attitude.

Part 2

Part 4

Tag list: @fahemzzz @picketniffler @elliaze @txtattoostark @this--is--music @anavatazes @simplyreading96 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @southernbe @sarahhxx03 @noisynightmarepoetry @jasminedragoon @pedromousposts @joeldjarin

Permanentny tag list: @harriedandharassed

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #angst #its so sad #tlou fic

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dmitriene · 8 months ago

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SOMETHING GOOD.

requested synopsis: when you get out of an abusive relationship, leon begins to loom in the distance, and you face an internal struggle with your own feelings, but he lends a helping hand and always remains by your side until you feel comfortable enough.

cw: fluff, comfort, emotional and physical hurt, bits of suggestive maybe, described past abusive relationship, mentions and description of abuse and being abused, really vile words, mentions of blood, possibly mentions of selfharm (no cutting things), cries, emotional outbursts, self accusation, many metaphors, many intimacy, one night stand, leon is helping reader and just in love, falling in love, confessions, pet names, hints on proposing. pairing: bf id leon scott kennedy x gf fem reader

author's note: after a quiet long time, i'm back with leon kennedy and with request about him, so here i am, please read all the warnings and then continue to the fic, i didn't write once in my life about such themes, but, i hope those who will read it enjoy, and if you struggle, please search help in any face you can, also tagging the one who requested the writing @paladin-heart5.

✎ 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵. 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴. 𝘢𝘰3. ˑ༄

No one is protected from abusive love, from violence, from rude words — at first it begins imperceptibly, fleeting words, too sudden control, outbursts of anger, too rough touches to scarlet, poisonous marks on the skin, almost bloody kisses, and then it’s too late, when there’s a loud crash sound in the air that come with a blow, and the cheek with the broken flesh of the lip burn with acute pain.

When the eyes swim with salty tears, flow down the cheeks and seem to leave burning traces, when it is too late to move, because the bird in the cage can only flutter its wings against the bars, but never really fly away — an imitation of freedom given to take your gaze away from the truth behind the golden cage, but a bird that can't fly won't survive, and so you thought.

— “he's just shows his love this way„ “i should appreciate it„ “it's my fault„ “if i wouldn't annoy him he wouldn't do this„

Your own thoughts are poisoning you, dissolving like an acidic liquid in your very being and the thin veins under your skin, accumulating at the bottom of your throat and rolling onto your tongue with nausea, you must spit it out, get it out of the depths of your mind and body, scratching your skin until there are bloody traces, but exposing yourself again and again under fresh blows, until bruises bloom before our eyes, which cover reality, pushing it further away.

The marks on the skin hurt and burn, your past version of you screams and vomits in salty tears, poisoned, the disgusting reflection of the current you on her once pure skin and soul, your new reflection in the mirror — causing neither emotions nor tears, there is nothing left that you would like to do, say, instead of throwing away the empty shell, you turn into it.

Your wings no longer flutter, you no longer cover yourself, you don’t snap, you don’t cry — you are slowly dying, and your abuser doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like that his doll no longer reacts when her threads are pulled, when his bird doesn’t chirp and flutter wings when they try to pull them out, he gets bored of playing, mocking, and he leaves you in this poison.

— “you're boring, barely experiencing a single emotion, so fucking annoying, sex with you is like shagging a corpse, at lough you also look like one„

— “i'm done with you„

Plays in your head like a creaking vinyl record, scratching painfully against the walls of your mind, and you don’t feel relief when he leaves, because you’re still bleeding, choking on poison, tearing your flesh and fighting with yourself, and he’s beaming, hands up to the elbows in blood which is not visible to others, teeth are exposed in a vile grin, fangs shine under the sunlight that is repelled from you, every scar and bruise burns.

You emerge with torn wings and deep wounds on your back, with a scattering of purple and yellow hues on your skin, haunted by light, uneven scars and accumulated toxins at the bottom of your body, you do not fly out of the open cage, but pause before crawling out, letting the rays wash over your skin and soul, even through pain.

— “i deserve it„ “deserve better, better life, better care, better love„

And the old you, the one behind the mirror, reaches out and wraps her arms around you, draws out all the pain and tears, changes places, locking everything behind a solid glass surface, allowing you to flutter again, spreading your regrown wings through pain, through therapy, the play of emotions and constant reminders that you deserve better, you deserve to forget, you deserve to no longer be afraid.

This better comes in someone else’s image, “Leon Kennedy„ the word rolls across your tongue like liqueur, tartly sweet, like his pale blue eyes turned in your direction, like his plump lips that folding into a smile before he stretches them wider and shows you his snow white teeth, pressing against your thin neck and scratching your skin with his stubble , leaving tickling marks and warm kisses, blowing dark strands of his hair from his face to cling to your flesh again and again with tenderness and adoration, desperation for intimacy.

This is the first time, after all the events and years of therapy, when you allowed yourself close contact, more than a nod, more than a slight flirtation — you allowed someone else's warm hands, covered with calluses, to trace every contour and curve, to bend over you to run their lips over you, kneel in front of you with such warmth in the blue pools that your knees become weak.

The first, and the last, you say to yourself and the reflection in the mirror, pushing away from the fleeting permission to feel loved, afraid to open up, afraid to let someone get too close to your painfully grown wings, even when he appears on your doorstep with a bouquet of lush flowers, with a wound on his cheek covered with a plaster, with a loose tie thrown over a broad shoulder, with playful sparkle in the eyes and bared wrinkles around.

— “it's.. no, nono — i can't, i won't, i'm sorry„ scattered pieces of sharp glass pour from your lips, your eyes burn following the skin along which warm, acidic tears flow, you reluctantly open, release the sharp thorns of self defense, grown by your own strength, and his gaze gets lost, flicker around, and you don’t even see through the wet veil, you just feel, feel how warm wide hands wrap around your body with care, as if holding a crystal.

Fresh buds scatter under your feet when he presses you to his hard, but so warm chest with absolute tenderness, collecting the scattered pieces, pressing into the thorns in response, holding you when your knees gave way and unbearable bitterness curled up in your throat, when you pull his jacket towards you, screaming into his solid figure, while he buried himself in the top of your head and whispered quiet, fragile phrases intended only for you.

— “it's alright, sweetheart, i'm here, shh.. — i won't force you, promise i won't, it's alright„

He repeated again and again in a low baritone, staying with you that night until all the tears, all the accumulated grief leaves you completely, flowing as far and away as possible, leaving you in his arms, pressed against limp muscles, in a tight embrace that doesn’t prevent you from breaking free, running away if you want, but in his arms you wanted to linger, you wanted to dig a place for yourself, to stay as long as possible.

And you stay, you let him into your abode, which he enters carefully, curiously studying and looking at, playing with the blue flashes of his eyes and toothy smiles with you, watching how new colors of blush slowly bloom on your skin, your eyes run from meeting his shyly, eyelashes tremble from his every gentle touch and stroking, treating you patiently, spreading his arms so that you can cling to him and rely on him at any time.

A sense of responsibility and anger arises in Leon — his fists turn white and his jaw clenches every time he observes what past relationships have left on you, the fear of saying something unnecessary, the fear of allowing being touched without warning, knowing that this will be followed by a reflex, an attempt to cover up , and the blood in his veins boils with acute hatred for the one who treated you this way, with contempt for the mere realization that this man is still there somewhere, and if Leon could, if he knew — he would’ve finish him off.

With each time you are around Leon, it becomes easier, simpler — you more often take the initiative, discuss your feelings with him, argue while preparing dinner together about the fact that you have already eaten this dish, and it’s time for Leon to stop fixating on the same thing, to which he snorts, waving his head and kisses the top of your head with a slight chuckle, stroking the curve of your shoulder with his thumb and silently agrees, pressing you closer, proud of every change you make.

You learn to accept his attention, bouquets of flowers, payment for purchases — be it new clothes, something for personal care, jewelry as a gift for memorable days, you learn to accept his touch, at first with slight avoidance, then with tension, and then coming to his hands yourself — hugging while sleeping, while watching a movie, kissing his bare muscular back in the morning when he is preparing breakfast, running his lips and nose along his stubbled chin and jaw, kissing the small moles on his neck, finding scars on his skin that are far from yours in meaning, but equally painful in the past.

— “i love you, truly, Leon„ you lick each other's wounds, small , but deep kisses, warm touches, skin to skin when the moon rises in the sky and his confessions turn into sweet whispers, and your love into meek, sincere smiles and tears of happiness, when he fills your insides not with poison, but with something sweetly stretching, leaving not painful wounds on the skin, but blooming buds demonstrating affection, whispering into the sweaty, warm skin under the pads of his fingers — “I love you too, darling, with everything i have, i love you„

His words are sincere, connected with your by red thread, when his dark wings bloom to wrap them around you, he is warm, covered with his own honest earnings of scars, missing feathers, problems in order to trust, but he reveals himself to you from the most beautiful and ugly sides, he tells about his past, about horrors, losses, allowing you to exchange your own experiences, when his hands stroke your bare back along your spine, and yours his in return, touching each other’s wounds and scars, whispering in unison — “I'm proud of you„

And so much more awaits you together, because Leon has long put off the idea of buying a beautiful, neat ring, the diamond for which he chose with his own hands, putted aside in a bluish velvet box and waiting in line at the jewelry store, only then, when you would be ready.

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tragantia · 7 months ago

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Been thinking about this for a while, trying to imagine what Severen's life was like at the frontier during the Wild West days. Bill Paxton imagined him as a lowlife, a cowboy, and the term 'cowboy' was used to describe an outlaw, as a legitimate cowboy would have normally been described as a rancher.

I imagine him without proper parental guidance, probably with a violent father and an absent mother (Did she leave? Did she die? Was she submissive to her husband, to the point of becoming numb to everything, including her son?). So, using colloquial terms, he probably had what we call 'daddy issues' and 'mommy issues'.

His surname 'Van Sickle' suggests that at least the father was probably an immigrant from the Netherlands - so a larger support group would have been unlikely.

Chaos suited him well since this is the only reality he knew, so he left home early. He run into more questionable company, but again, he was already good at doing questionable things, probably had stolen since he was very young.

When Jesse met him, he was already a man in his thirties, experienced enough to have done pretty gruesome things by that point, and he took to his new lifestyle as if it was meant for him.

Jesse himself was pretty questionable, but he had something that Severen craved - he was solid. I'm not sure whether to go to the extent of saying that he was a 'good man' in the conventional sense - he wasn't, but he looked after his own. He was protective, he taught him things to help him survive and improve himself. He called him out when needed, despite letting him have his fun. Severen was too old for Jesse to be a proper father figure, but he was close enough.

When Jesse brought Diamondback - Severen realised that it was possible to really love someone, romantically speaking. He would never admit it out loud, but he realised it was possible to build a life, a family. It's something that sounded almost alien to him, and he didn't really know how to express it.

He took Homer and Mae under his wing, so to speak. Behaved like his asshole self, particularly with Homer, and showed Mae how to defend herself. It was his way of showing he cared. He forced himself to do the same with Caleb, for Mae's sake, and ended up liking the idiot (in my reality Caleb stays with the clan and everyone lives happily ever after ok including the horse who never gets punched by Sev like in the script shhhh ride to freedom sweet bby). He looked up to Jesse. He had shown him this life and stayed loyal to him, so he would reciprocate and protect his clan at all costs.

When he finally meets his s/o? He feels like he's been hit by something. He can't understand what it is at first, he finds it annoying, infuriating even. He's had flings before, and plenty of sex, sure, but he's never *cared*, not really. Imagine this emotional analphabet sat in a motel room as his mate rides his cock whilst looking into his eyes, caressing his chest, neck, jaw, kissing him, telling him how much they love him, praising him, whilst he just lays there grabbing their hips and moaning, drunk on the feeling of his cock being swallowed by their warmth, and knowing what it's to be *loved*. He's so touchy during the film, you can't tell me he wouldn't *love* that.

He will never get tired of it. His overall dominant and aggressive persona discarded, during those moments he just allows himself to exist and be given what he's never known that he craved.

#I'm so sappy #Kill me #severen van sickle x reader #near dark #near dark 1987 #severen van sickle #bill paxton #severen #severen x reader #severen near dark

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thegeminisage · 11 months ago

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rushed tng update bc i am in a HUGE HURRY. monday we watched "q who" and yesterday i caught "samaritan snare" and "up the long ladder."

q who: had been looking forward to this one for WEEKS. and we were SO SO SO CLOSE. i loved every single thing about the borg. i loved their look. i loved the buildup. i loved their creepy little borg babies. i love their creepy cube ship because getting menaced by cubes is the natural state of the enterprise.

BUT NO ONE. GOT. BORGED

they had the perfect opportunity, too...that ensign, gomez? she could have been beamed out of the ship instead of those 18 people dying and they could have seen her when they beamed onto the borg ship. it would have been a wonderful way to impress how different people are once they get borged. that said i did love gomez and i was glad to see her pop back up in another episode. ms motormouth she's so funny she literally just has adhd thank you star trek for the Woman

like, the climax of that was so...anticlimactic. q just warps them back? that's so boring. i was getting ready to give q another chance despite him being SO FUCKING ANNOYING in all his other appearances because he was kind of funny here. like, i see why you guys kept telling me he had something going on with picard. i find it completely horrible just to be clear but i cannot deny that it is going on

AND i loved whatever he had going on with guinan...she was literally ready to get his ass. i loooved her expanded role in this episode and getting to find out more about her

but to have the episode end by q just being like ok i win i;ll take you back now :) come on. we were doing SO well. i was THRILLED. what a case of blueballs. and i checked and apparently only SIX tng episodes deal with the borg? that is so much less than i thought. huge letdown. oh well.

samaritan snare: i really dont understand what they are trying to do with pulaski and picard...is this supposed to be a romantic thing...idgi and i do not like it. like, what's the point of having him almost not survive this operation and then needing HER HELP SPECIFICALLY when he already stated he was uncomfortable with her doing it? the entire thing just rubs me the wrong way.

largely this episode was annoying and i nearly had to stop and close the tab when wesley tried to daddy issues his way into getting picard to parent him

however 2 good things did happen. firstly was the story picard told about getting his ass stabbed when he was an ensign. "a certain giddy warmth actually i laughed out loud" that was something actually.

and the other good thing as when worf was like "you will die without honor. you will never attain the 24th level of awareness" to geordi like i fucking cracked up for real. i wish tng had less unfunny bad humor and more of that because it was hilarious

up the long ladder: this episode was so bad it's UNREAL.

first of all, did worf and pulaski fuck? did that actually happen? they keep trying to make her romantic will picard and then will's dad and now WORF? what is GOING ON on this fucking ship??

i was actually kind of into whatever she and worf had going on when it was just a "let's be reckless idiots and drink the tea" thing because it was just that fucking stupid that it worked its way around to being endearing but every time i make emotional progress with her i am set back. i'm sorry women.

the rest of this episode was also unspeakable bad way to do clones in the most boring way possible and LMAO at them all hating sex or whatever. because it's a way to make them appear more unnatural <3 ok.

even riker slutting it up with that one irish chick couldn't save it because. and i feel insane saying this. every time those guys were onscreen they played like the funny music. you know. when irish characters get the little jig music and it's funny because they're irish? 90s tv did this a lot. shore leave in tos did it too. i'm so exhausted

ALSO LMAOOO TURNING THIS POOR WOMAN INTO BREEDING STOCK...not even asking her...misogyny wins again. i'm sure we can find another woman somewhere dot meme. good fucking god

i don't remember what episodes come next and i don't care because i'm going in release order and guess what was released next. final frontier. spock movie. it's finally time to see him again.....................

#half an hour to go #personal #star trek blogging #tng lb

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markie-baby · 14 days ago

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𝕸𝖆𝖙𝖈𝖍 𝕸𝖞 𝕱𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐🌹𝖕𝖙.1

"If you keep up with me, I'll keep coming back. If you do it too good, I'm gonna get attached. 'Cause it feels like heaven when it hurts so bad Baby, put it on me I like it just like that..."

Nasty - Tinashe

♡ Pairing: gangboss!lover!bm x black!fem!reader ♡ Genre: fluff/smut/thriller/multilingual ♡ Word Count: 14959 ♡ Content Warnings: language, gang-related violence, highly explicit sex scenes, drug use, mentions of drugs, appearance and handling of guns, poisioning ♡ Summary: You’re an introverted sexless woman, content with the quiet rhythm of your life as a remote social media manager, your world small and controlled, centered around your Koreatown apartment. But one Friday night, your vibrant best friend Sasha drags you out of your cocoon and into the pulsating heart of a local club. Among the flashing lights and throbbing music, your eyes lock with Matthew Kim, the notorious luxury club owner whose reputation as a ruthless crime boss precedes him.

♡ NSFW Warnings: overstim, fingering, sweat, tipsy sex

"𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕡𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕟 𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣, 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗…𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦."

The snug Koreatown apartment envelops you in a lavender-scented calm, a peaceful escape from the lively city outside. Vanilla candles softly flicker, casting a gentle glow over the diverse decor. Your face is lit by artificial light as you skillfully handle hashtags and engagement metrics, crafting online personas with expertise. You’ve been on the computer way past your working hours, but there was something tranquil about the quiet of your apartment, the light sounds of your fingers tapping the keyboard, that often kept you from venturing outside.

Tranquil that is, until you're rudely interrupted by the abrupt swing of your apartment door, in bursts Sasha Rivera, your roommate, best friend, and complete opposite, a whirlwind of energy and disorder.

"Mi amor, aqui estoy!" she exclaims in her alluring Spanish lilt, barely stopping for a breath.

Sasha's presence filled the room, her larger-than-life personality electrifying the air around her. She was a walking embodiment of the vibrant Koreatown nightlife, her curly brown hair as wild and untamed as her spirit.

"I've got a move for tonight!" Sasha purred, tilting her head to the side, her doe-like eyes rimmed with dark liner. "What do you say a little dancing?"

The mischievous glint in Sasha's eyes was matched only by the playful quirk of her lips as she awaited your response. She had a way of making even the most mundane activities feel like an adventure, and tonight was no exception.

As you considered her proposition, a rush of conflicting emotions flooded your senses. On one hand, stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing the heartbeat of Koreatown's nightlife was undeniably tempting. On the other, the thought of navigating the crowds, the loud music, and the unfamiliar faces made your heart race with apprehension.

Sasha seemed to sense your hesitation and took a step closer, her hand reaching out to gently grasp yours. "Trust me, my little hermit," she murmured, her voice low. "I promise you won't regret it."

"I don't know, Sash," you waver, your fingertips hesitating above the keyboard as you concocted a lie. "I'm swamped with work right now."

"Tonight's different, " Sasha's tone was low, laced with something that bordered on desperation, her fingernails drumming on the back of your chair. "And it's eight o’clock on a Friday, you're just giving yourself busy work at this point."

You sighed heavily. She was annoying but also right.

"Well, tonight’s the anniversary of Eclipse opening, and some important people showing up for the bash."

Your attention is immediately drawn, your instincts tingling when Sasha mentions the exclusive Korean club where she works as a bottle girl.

"Important like... influencer important?"

Sasha's eyes gleam mischievously. "Even better." She leans in, her voice dropping to a whisper. "Think LA's elite, movers and shakers, and the club owner is also gonna be there."

You shut down your computer, intrigued by the mystery that shrouded the owner of the club, someone you had only heard whispers about. Rising from your seat, you link arms with Sasha, a sense of curiosity bubbling within you.

"Alright, you've caught my attention. Lead the way," you say, with the desire to see your curiosity through.

Excitement bubbles in your stomach as Sasha ushers you into her bedroom. The room is a study in contrasts: soft, draping purple curtains frame a floor-to-ceiling window that offers a breathtaking view of the cityscape, while the brown sugar-scented air mingles with the heady scent of jasmine from a nearby vase. A queen-sized bed, piled high with plush purple pillows, beckons invitingly, its silky comforter spilling onto the floor like a cascade of spilled wine.

"Alright, chica," Sasha turns to you, her hands on her hips, appraising your cozy attire. "We've got our work cut out for us." She opens the closet doors to reveal a treasure trove of daring silhouettes, all squealing for attention.

"You are definitely wearing these," Sasha declares, handing you a pair of strappy platform stilettos in a dangerous shade of sangria. "These will make your legs go on for days." You eye the shoes warily, but Sasha's commanding gaze brooks no argument. With a deep breath, you slip them on, your toes curling as you adjust to the unaccustomed height.

Next, Sasha selects a form-fitting little black dress that skims the curves you usually keep hidden beneath oversized hoodies and baggy bottoms. The fabric clings to your body like a second skin, accentuating your hourglass figure and hinting at the delights beneath.

"You're a goddess, my little hermit," Sasha breathes, admiring her handiwork.

You stand in front of the full-length mirror, transfixed by the seductive stranger staring back at you. Your long braids fell perfectly at your sides, expertly styled by Sasha's skilled hands. The glistening peach color of your lip gloss made your lips into an alluring sight. As you take in your reflection, you can feel a surge of newfound confidence coursing through you; like an electric current, crackling and sizzling with excitement. You can't help but smile as you run a hand over the sleek fabric of your outfit, feeling every curve and contour accentuated by the form-fitting dress. You feel like a completely different person, and it's dangerously exhilarating.

Your heart quickens its pace as you both emerge from the Uber, enveloped in the sultry, seductive glow of Koreatown's neon lights. The atmosphere crackles with vitality, the bass pulsating through the streets and resonating deep within you. Entwining your fingers with Sasha's, a smile tugs at your lips when she gives your hand an enthusiastic squeeze, her anticipation radiating off her.

"I can't believe I finally got you to come out here," she says with a hidden squeal in her voice. “I’m so proud of my little hermit.” Her French tips pinched your cheeks.

“Not without much convincing,” I scoffed. “And I will leave if things get too crazy.”

“Ugh, fine.” She released your face from her grasp. “ Hopefully, that won’t happen and you’ll never want to leave.”

As you make your way to the velvet rope, you can't help but notice the lingering glances from those around you, drawn to Sasha's magnetic presence like moths to a flame. She's in her element here, her hips swaying to the rhythm of the music, her eyes alive with anticipation.

The bouncer, a hulking mass of muscle in a sharp suit, gives Sasha a nod of recognition. "Sash," his voice is a deep rumble that seems to vibrate through the sidewalk. "Who's your pretty friend tonight?" His eyes studied your form closely, too much so.

"This is my bestie," she pulled you closer, guiding you both past the line and into the club. “So keep focused on your job and keep us safe.”

The moment you step inside, the world seems to melt away. The music envelops you like a lover's embrace, the strobe lights illuminating the room in a kaleidoscope of sensual hues. Bodies writhe on the dance floor, their movements liquid and hypnotic. The air is heavy with the scent of perfume, and hookah smoke, and you can't help but feel a thrill of anticipation course through your veins.

"Welcome to Eclipse!" Sasha exclaims, her voice brimming with excitement.

You let her lead you through the sea of bodies, her grip on your hand the only anchor in a sea of chaos.

"Tell me more about this Matthew guy," you say, leaning in close to be heard over the music. "He's the owner, right?"

Sasha's eyes darken, her excitement replaced by a brief flicker of apprehension. “Yeah," she says, her voice laced with equal parts intrigue and caution. "That’s not the only thing they say he is though."

Your curiosity piqued.

"Matthew Kim is not just a club owner," Sasha begins, her voice lowering as if sharing a forbidden secret. "Apparently, he's a crime boss."

Your eyes widen at the revelation, the thrill of danger mingling with the heady atmosphere of the club.

"Not only that, but the leader of The Red Lotus," Sasha continues, her tone tinged with a mix of admiration and wariness. "The Red Lotus has its fingers in everything, from drugs to gambling, and Eclipse is just the tip of the iceberg."

“So why doesn’t anyone rat on him?” You raise a brow. “Ya’ know, catch him in the act?”

Sasha scoffs. “Well it’s not that easy I’m sure. Also, The Lotus protects the K-Town community and its businesses from rival gangs like the...Black Snakes-think they're called..? They may do some shady shit, but they keep the old folks safe.”

“Yeah, by muscling in on them I bet.”

“Hey!” Her defensive tone takes you by surprise. “My boss Jiwoo is allegedly mixed in with his shit too; she hires the bottle girls, but, she's pretty fucking cool. Besides, I'm sure they’re not all bad.”

Her loyalty to her boss piqued your interest. You let the topic drop, not wanting to sour the mood.

As the night progresses, your surroundings blur together in a swirl of flashing lights and pounding beats. Sasha seems to be a regular here, as she effortlessly navigates the crowded dance floor, guiding you expertly through the throng of bodies. Hips grinding, hands in the air, you succumb to the infectious energy of the club, all your inhibitions melting away like sugar on your tongue.

As you sought a moment of respite, the cool touch of the metal bar against your back offered a fleeting sense of grounding amidst the pulsing chaos. Across the dance floor, in the VIP section, a man's gaze locked onto yours with unwavering intensity. Standing tall and exuding an air of authority that seemed to envelop the space around him, he commanded attention effortlessly.

His features were like finely chiseled marble, sculpted by an expert hand. A sharp jawline cut through the dimly lit club, accentuating his polished masculinity. Black hair, meticulously styled, and sleeked back. A few strands of hair dangled freely over his forehead, adding to the mystery.

Beside him sat a slender woman, in a dark sapphire dress that contrasted her pale complexion, the white mink draped around her shoulders adding a touch of opulence to her ensemble. Her elegant presence was a striking contrast to his imposing figure. With dark waves cascading down her back and tailored attire enhancing her sophisticated aura, she exuded poise and intelligence. Her perceptive gaze seemed to assess every detail with keen precision.

Next to her was another woman, petite in comparison. Her blonde, short hair styled in a spiked updo. A studded black leather jacket hung off her shoulders and her heeled boots shimmered against her exposed legs, she projected an image of unyielding resolve and unwavering loyalty.

Completing the quartet was another man. His calm demeanor and contemplative nature stood out amidst the vibrant energy of the club. Dressed in classic attire that hinted at quiet dignity, he exuded an air of understated confidence that added depth to their group dynamic.

As your eyes met those of the enigmatic man across the room, his penetrating gaze ignited a primal fire within you, sending a surge of desire coursing through the skin between your thighs. Suddenly, all you cared about was knowing who he was.

"Hola!" Sasha appears at your side, startling you out of your reverie. "Are you deaf, chica? Let’s go get some dranks!"

Reluctantly, you tear your gaze away from the enigmatic stranger, allowing Sasha to lead you to the bar. As she orders a round of shots for both of you, you can't help but feel a sense of disappointment at leaving the eyes of enigmatic man behind.

"Girl, you good?" Sasha asks, handing you a shot glass. "I was tryna tell you something, but you were in a daze."

"I don't know," you reply, downing the shot in one gulp. "I saw this guy in the VIP section and he just…fuck."

Sasha catches your eye and arches a knowing eyebrow as she notices the object of your conversation.

"Goddamn, fuck indeed," she says appreciatively. "I don’t know who he is, but let's be real. He's probably some rich jerk who thinks he can have any girl he wants in here."

“Yeah, you probably right.”

“That is weird though,” she sucks her teeth after downing her shot.

“What?”

“You see that woman with the leather jacket?” She raises her pink nail in the direction. “That’s Jiwoo. That’s my boss.”

Your eyes widen in surprise as you return your gaze to the VIP section. There she was, looking comfortable and natural amidst the opulence of the upper crust.

"That's Jiwoo, your boss?" You ask, trying to keep the surprise out of your voice.

“Yeah,” Sasha shrugs, a glint of admiration in her eyes. “Don't know what she’s doing there though. I kinda recognize the chica in the blue dress. I see her here from time to time. I see the other shorter guy more often when Jiwoo’s here. I think his name is Joseph—or something. But that guy that caught your eye… I’m not entirely sure.”

You watched as Jiwoo laughed at something the other woman said, throwing her head back in genuine amusement. Her body language around Matthew was relaxed, comfortable and from what you could see, respectful. They had an easy rhythm amongst them. Jiwoo leans in close to the man you'd been ogling earlier. A chill runs down your chest as you remember his intense gaze.

"Hmm," she says with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "Let's crash their little party."

Momentarily taken aback, you stare at her, your heart pounding in your chest. "A-Are you serious?"

Sasha merely raises a perfectly arched brow at you. She reaches for another shot, downing it in one swift motion before she shoots you a daring look. "Why not? The worst that can happen is they'll ask us to leave them alone."

“Or...You could get your ass fired.” You raise a brow.

“Impossible,” She shrugged confidently. “I’m Jiwoo’s favorite.”

Throwing caution to the wind, deciding to go along with Sasha's audacious plan, you down another shot for good measure before following her lead towards the cordoned-off area where the handsome stranger and his companions resided.

The VIP section of Eclipse was even more decadent up close. The plush velvet couches were in stark contrast to the cold metal bar stools where the regular patrons sat. Gold accents glitter under the flashing neon lights, adding a touch of opulence that was absent in the rest of the club. Large, ornate bottles of champagne and liquor adorned the tables, evidence of the group's extravagant taste.

As you ventured closer to the enigmatic man, his allure seemed to deepen, casting an even more intoxicating spell upon you. His dark eyes exuded a lethal charm that ensnared your gaze, causing your heart to thunder recklessly in your chest. Amidst this magnetic pull, you couldn't ignore the subtle glances from the other members of his crew, their watchful eyes adding an undercurrent of tension to the already-charged atmosphere.

Sasha gave you a little nudge, her wide grin infectious as she boldly approached. "Jiwoo," she bowed cheerfully, catching the attention of everyone in the VIP section. “Good Evening.”

Jiwoo’s fierce gaze softened at her approach, a small smile playing on her lips. “Sasha, my number one bottle girl,” she acknowledged, her gaze flicking to you with slight curiosity. "Who is this?"

"This is Y/N," Sasha introduced you casually as if crashing into a VIP section was a daily occurrence. "Y/N, this is Jiwoo, my boss."

You offered a shy smile, bowing slightly in acknowledgment, "Nice to meet you, Jiwoo." Your voice felt small in the grandeur of the VIP section.

“Nice to meet you,” Jiwoo said, her gaze appraising as she took in your appearance. The corner of her mouth twitched upwards in a subtle sign of approval.

"Good evening, Sasha." Jiwoo was cut off by a smooth, baritone voice made you turn your attention toward the man whose gaze had entangled you earlier. His eyes flickered over to you, carrying a spark of curiosity. "And who might this stunning lady be?"

Sasha nudged you slightly, urging you to respond. Swallowing down the lump in your throat, you mustered up every ounce of courage within you and met his gaze confidently.

"I'm Y/N," you introduced yourself smoothly, extending your hand out for a shake. He rose from his seat, towering over your body. The height difference almost made you gulp.

"Y/N," he echoed softly. There was something indescribable about the way he said your name — like you were the only person in a sea of people — that made your heart skip a beat.

"This is Matthew,” Jiwoo introduced, her gaze moving between the two of you with a spark of interest. "He's the owner of Eclipse."

He extended his hand, his grip firm yet gentle. His touch sent an electric jolt through you, heat spreading up your arm. His lips curled into a knowing smirk, clearly picking up on your reaction. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

You couldn't believe it. The man who had been haunting your thoughts ever since you laid eyes on him was none other than the infamous Matthew Kim. The leader of the Red Lotus Syndicate, the most powerful and feared organization in Los Angeles. You felt a sense of fear and excitement wash over you as he held your hand in his, his gaze never leaving yours. You could feel the intensity of his stare as if he was trying to undress your very thoughts.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too," you managed to say, trying to keep your voice steady despite the butterflies in your stomach.

“생각도 하지마,” The woman in the blue dress raised her voice in Matthew’s direction.

Your heart pounded furiously in your chest as you pulled your hand back from Matthew's grasp, heat creeping up your neck. You didn’t speak Korean but knew enough to tell that the woman's words were a clear warning, yet there was something about the way Matthew looked at you that told you he wasn't quite ready to heed it.

"So-min," he said, his tone firm yet undeniably smooth. His gaze didn't waiver from yours, even as he addressed So-min. “진정해. 그냥 친구가 되고 싶은 것 뿐 나쁜 의도는 없어.”

Suddenly, a ripple of alarm passed through the heated atmosphere as Joseph shot up from his seat, his eyes locked onto a group on the dance floor. He muttered something under his breath, his face grim as he approached them. Matthew glanced in the direction Joseph had gone before he looked back at you. He nodded at So-min and Jiwoo, a silent cue that had them also leaving their seats.

"I apologize for the interruption, ladies," Matthew said, standing to his full height. “Do you mind keeping these seats warm for me? I just had an old friend walk in.”

His question hung in the air, a challenge and an invitation wrapped up in one. His gaze never left yours, his dark eyes glittering with unspoken promise and danger. You couldn't deny the thrill that coursed through your veins at his words, making the hairs on your skin stand at attention.

Surprise flickered across Sasha's face but she quickly recovered, grinning broadly as she slid onto the recently vacated couch. "Oh don't worry about it," she said in a voice dripped with confidence, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "We'll be sure to take good care of the section until you come back."

Matthew chuckled lowly, his gaze flickering to Sasha's before returning to you. "I'm counting on it," he said, his voice carrying a hint of challenging amusement.

With that, Matthew turned and followed after Joseph and the others. The tension that had hung heavy in the section dissipated slowly as they disappeared into the crowd, leaving you and Sasha alone.

"Well shit," Sasha said with a low whistle, "things just got a whole lot more interesting, didn't they?"

"You can definitely say that," you ask, sinking into the plush couch, trying to calm your pounding heart. "I can't believe that's...Matthew."

"I don't think he could believe what he was seeing either," She wiggled her brows and leaned forward, a smirk playing on her lips. "I think he likes what he saw, no?"

A flush crept up your neck and you tried to brush off her teasing with a casual punch to her shoulder. "He's just the owner of the club. I'm sure it's part of his job to be charming."

"He's just the club owner who happens to be one of the most powerful men in all of LA," Sasha said dryly, rolling her eyes. "And who was giving you bedroom eyes nonstop."

"I thought you said he was just some rich guy who thinks he could have anyone he wants?"

"That was before I knew it was Matthew," she raised a brow. "And apparently, girls throw themselves at him all the time, but I haven't heard of him actually dating anyone. Kinda reminds me of a certain girl I know…"

"...really?" You were in disbelief.

"Yeah, probably because of the obvious rumors," she shrugged. "Or because -and you didn't hear this from me..."

You leaned in closer.

"He has a huge dick." She choked back her laugh. "Like huge huge. You think you can handle that, sis?"

You choked on your saliva as the thought raced across your mind.

You couldn't ignore the thrill that coursed through you at her words; the charming, mysterious, and well-endowed Matthew Kim, a single man..? You knew better than to let your heart get ahead of your head. Matthew Kim was a man shrouded in danger and mystery, but to think he found you interesting, it made a chill run up your thighs.

"I'm just going to enjoy the view and the free drinks," you shook your head. "That's enough excitement for one night."

"Fine," Sasha relented, raising a glass. "To enjoying the view and the company of good friends."

In the background, the DJ cranked up the volume, and the beat of a new song pulsated through the club, drowning out any further conversation. The crowd roared with renewed energy, and the dance floor swelled as couples and groups alike surged toward the center of the club.

"Come on!" Sasha grabbed your hand, her eyes alight with excitement. "Let's rejoin the party!"

You hesitated for a moment, still reeling from the bizarre turn of events. But you reminded yourself that you were here to step out of your comfort zone, to experience something new. With a deep breath, you let Sasha drag you onto the dance floor, surrendering to the intoxicating rhythm of the music and the pulsing energy of the club.

The hours passed in a blur of blur sensations: the intoxicating scent of smoke, and perfume; the strobing lights, flashing like gunfire in a neon warzone; the press of bodies, hot and sweaty against yours, as you and Sasha danced with abandon to the throbbing bass. After several songs, you and Sasha retreated to the bar, parched and panting, to catch your breath. You downed a glass of water, the cool liquid quenching your parched throat.

"So, what do you think so far?" Sasha shouted over the music, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

You grinned, feeling more alive than you had in years. "It's...intense," you yelled back, "but I'm having a great time."

"Good! Told you you wouldn’t regret it," Sasha said, leaning in close to your ear, "Safe us a spot at the bar, I need to use the restroom."

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest, and watched as she weaved her way through the crowd, her body moving fluidly through the sea of bodies.

As you waited, you people-watched, observing the varied crowd that filled the club: the twenty and thirty-somethings, out for a night of carefree fun; the suited businessmen, loosening their ties and letting off steam; and the couples, varying in age and appearance, who danced together as if they were the only ones there.

Suddenly, a hand captured you out of your thoughts and slid down your lower back; you spun around, expecting it to be Sasha. Instead, it was Matthew Kim himself.

The silk fabric of his button-up hugged his muscular frame snugly, the sleeves rolled up to reveal his fully tattooed forearms. His piercing eyes locked onto yours, a glint of intrigue igniting within them as they bore into your own.

"I hope I didn’t scare you," he said, his voice low and smooth. He moved closer as he spoke, the heady scent of his cologne enveloping you.

"Not at all..." You stuttered, your heart pounding against your ribs. His proximity was disarming; it felt as though all the noise and chaos of the club were suddenly muted.

"I wanted to apologize for leaving so abruptly," he continued, "but... business called."

He inclined his head, his eyes flickering to the dance floor before returning to your own. "May I have a dance?"

He extended his large hand, an unspoken invitation in his gaze. You hesitated for a moment, thoughts of the precarious situation you were in flashing through your mind. But, bolstered by the alcohol and the pounding music, you pushed your reservations aside and nodded...

“Yes, I'd love to.”

With a wave of anticipation and trepidation, you placed your hand in his. His grip was firm but not constricting, the heat of his skin searing into your own. Without another word, he guided you onto the dance floor, expertly maneuvering you through the throng of bodies. The press of his body against yours was intoxicating, his every move in sync with the pounding music.

“You’re incredibly gorgeous,” he said, his breath warm against your ear.

“Thank you,” you blushed, breaking eye contact. “You're quite handsome yourself. I would have never thought that you knew how to dance.”

He chuckled lowly, his hand on your waist sliding lower, pulling you even closer. “There are many things you don’t know about me.”

"I may know more than you think," you teased, unable to resist the urge to flirt with him. You could feel the tension between you mounting, the electricity crackling in the air.

His eyes flashed with intrigue. "Is that so?" he said, his voice a low rumble. "What else do you know about me then?"

As the song changed, the beat picking up, he pulled you closer, his body flush against yours. You swallowed thickly, your throat suddenly dry.

"Well," you cleared your throat, "I know that you own this club, and that you're... notoriously dangerous."

He chuckled, the sound sending shivers down your spine. "That's a good start," he murmured, his hand drifting lower, resting on your hip. "You don't seem to scared of me, though."

You couldn't deny the thrill that coursed through your veins at his words, making the hairs on your skin stand at attention. "I'm not," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "I guess I'm just brave enough to take a risk."

His gaze darkened at your words, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. "I like that," he said, sending shivers down your spine. "Risk is something I've learned to appreciate."

The intensity in his voice was unmistakable, and you shivered, goosebumps erupting on your arms. This man was dangerous, you knew this, and yet, in this moment, you couldn’t care less.

"I find it intriguing," he said, his tone filled with gentle teasing, "that you're so nervous around me when you were dancing so freely out there. You seemed so fearless."

“Who said I was nervous?” you hesitated.

Matthew threw his head back and laughed, and in that moment, he seemed more human, more approachable. “Stubborn, I like that,” he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "But a horrible liar."

The song ended and melded into another, the beat slowing down, and the strobing lights softened, casting the room in a hazy, intimate glow. Matthew's grip on your waist tightened, guiding you in a slow, sensual dance.

"I'm not lying," you insisted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm just...surprised."

"Surprised?" he echoed, his lips curling into a smirk. "Why is that?"

You swallowed thickly. "I guess I didn't expect you to get...this close," you confessed, your cheeks burning hot.

"Is that so?" he murmured, his gaze flickering to your lips. "Well, I must admit, I didn't expect you to be so...alluring."

You could feel your heart pounding against your ribs, his words sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. "Alluring?" you echoed, your voice barely audible over the music.

Matthew chuckled lowly, his breath warm against your ear. "Yes," he said, his voice sending shivers down your spine. "I couldn't take my eyes off you tonight."

You swallowed thickly, heat rising in your cheeks. "I noticed," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

The tension between you was palpable, the electricity crackling in the air. He leaned in closer, his plump lips brushing against your ear as he spoke, "I want to get to know you better."

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, your hips trembling as he gripped them.

“I-”

Your confession was halted by the appearance of one of Matthew's bodyguards, a burly man with a granite-like face. He approached Matthew and whispered something inaudible into his ear. At his words, the subtle amusement faded from Matthew's eyes, replaced by a hard glint that you hadn't seen before. His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking beneath the smooth skin.

"Seems I need to leave again," he said, his voice a dark timbre that seemed to echo the abrupt change in his demeanor. "Let me take you back to the bar and have the bartender get you something."

"No, it's fine," you interjected, putting a hand on his arm, and feeling the taut muscle underneath. "I'm sure you have important things to attend to."

He turned to you, and the intensity in his gaze softened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut this short." His grip on your hand tightened, his fingers warm and reassuring. “But I promise I’ll come find you later and make it up to you.”

With that, he pressed a kiss on the top of your hand and disappeared into the throng.. You watched him as he moved; his confident stride was both hypnotic and intimidating, a testament to the authority he wielded. He joined Jiwoo, So-min, and Joseph, their expressions grim. They spoke in hushed tones, their voices barely audible above the music. You could see the tension in their bodies, the subtle shift in their postures as they prepared for whatever awaited them.

You felt a sudden chill, a sense of foreboding washing over you. You couldn't explain why, but you had the feeling that things were about to change, that the events of tonight would have an impact on your life in ways you couldn't yet fathom.

As you stood there alone in the middle of the dancefloor, your heart pounding in your chest, you couldn’t help but feel a mixture of arousal and apprehension. Your panties feeling hot against your skin. The club swirled around you, neon lights casting a sensual glow over the gyrating mass of bodies on the dancefloor. You absentmindedly played with the lobe piercing in your ear, a habit you reverted to when nervous. The music pounded relentlessly in the background, the deep bass reverberating in your bones as you searched the sea of faces for any sign of Sasha.

Taking in the pulsating energy of Eclipse, you felt the rhythm sway your body. A familiar beat swept over you; it was Sasha's favorite song. An involuntary smirk tugged at the corner of your lips, knowing how she loved to own the dance floor whenever this tune hit the speakers. Suddenly, a hand gently clasped your elbow.

“Can I have a dance, beautiful?” A raspy voice from behind made your head turn.

You made eye contact with a man who wasn’t Matthew and was dressed more casually than most of the other party-goers. He had a wiry build, chiseled cheekbones, and a mess of untamed hair that somehow suited him. His smile didn't quite reach his cold, calculating eyes, and you got the faint whiff of cigarettes from him; like he just came from a smoke outside. The cuff of his jacket wasn't pulled down properly, giving you a peak of the black snake tattoo wrapped around his wrist.

You blinked as you turned to face the man, not immediately recognizing him. His smile was warm, but something was unsettling about his gaze that made your stomach dip with unease. "I... I'm sorry, I don't think so," you stammered, trying to pull your arm away.

But the man's grip tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. "Come on, darling," he purred, his voice like sandpaper against your ear. "It's just a dance."

You hesitated for a moment, glancing around the club. Most of the other patrons were lost in their own worlds, oblivious to your discomfort. Sasha had yet to come back, leaving you alone with the stranger. Your curiosity getting the better of you, you reluctantly allowed the man to lead you to the dancefloor.

You allow the man to lead you deeper into the dancefloor, reluctantly stepping into his arms as he pulls you close. His body is warm and firm against yours as he moves expertly to the beat, his hands skimming over your waist and hips in ways that make you uncomfortable. Your skin prickles with awareness under his touch, and you try not to squirm as he grinds against you. The music throbs around you, the bassline throbbing in your chest and filling your ears with its insistent rhythm.

The stranger's breath brushes against your neck, his words warm against your skin. "You smell incredible," he whispers, his breath tickling your earlobe. "What's that scent?"

You pull back slightly, trying to see his face without breaking your rhythm. Up close, his eyes linger on yours, and you feel the heat of his body through your clothes. "It's just my perfume," you mumble as sweat begins to bloom on your skin.

"Sweet yet sinful, just like you." His eyes darken, and he smirks. "I can see why he likes you."

The man's words send a shiver down your spine, and you attempt to step back, but his grip on your waist tightens. "Huh? W-What do you mean?"

“I’m sorry you had to get involved,” he smirked. “But Matthew had this coming.”

Before you could protest, you felt a sharp pain behind your back where his hand rested; like a pinch deep in your skin. Your eyes dart behind you to see a small syringe poking out your lower back.

“What the fuck?!” You pushed the stranger back and pulled the long needle out from your skin. “What the fuck do you just do?”

“Gave your boyfriend a message: he isn’t as all-powerful as he thinks. The Geondal never gets this close with beautiful women like you—you must be special.” He smirked, wiping some of the blood on his pants before he discarded the needle on the floor. “Snakes always slip through the cracks.”

And with that last warning, you stared blankly at the man's face as he disappeared into the crowd.

You felt a creeping sense of panic wash over you as realization dawned on you. This wasn't just any club; it was known for its underground activities and shady dealings. And now, here you were, alone and feeling drugged. Frantically, you looked around for Sasha, hoping she would return soon and save you from whatever was happening. But she was nowhere in sight. No one seemed to be paying any attention to you at all. Panicked, you stumble and make your way back toward the safety Matthew’s VIP booth, your haphazard navigation guided by the dimly lit sign above. Your vision was a blurry pastiche of colors and shapes as you clung to the armrests of the velvet seats, your legs threatening to buckle beneath you.

"Sasha," you tried to mouth out her name, but your voice was more of a whisper lost in the cacophony of club music and laughter.

The strident beat of the music seemed to amplify in your ears, each thud echoing like a hammer against the inside of your skull. Trying to take a few stabilizing breaths, you slid down onto the plush cushioning, where you collapsed against the soft velvet material, its coolness offering fleeting relief against your heated skin.

Suddenly, there was an intrusive hand on your shoulder, fingers digging into your flesh with coercive insistence.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” the bouncer's voice boomed. “If you’re going to be this intoxicated, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

Just as you were about to protest, the intrusive grip on your shoulder was pulled away. Turning your head with difficulty, you saw Matthew’s imposing figure towering over the bouncer handling you.

“Is there a problem here?” Matthew’s voice was calm but carried an undeniable authority that made the bouncer immediately step back.

“She's intoxicated, sir.” The bouncer stammered, his eyes flickering nervously under Matthew's intense gaze.

Matthew dismissed him with a nod of acknowledgment, his gaze now falling onto you. “I'll take it from here,” he stated firmly.

You looked up at Matthew from your slumped position against the booth cushions. The dim club lighting softened his sharp features, and despite your state of disorientation and fear, you couldn't help but be drawn in by his charisma.

“Y/N,” Matthew's voice pulled your focus back, his tone quieter now, almost gentle. "Can you hear me?" His words carried an undercurrent of worry that you found uncharacteristically endearing.

“Yes...” Your voice trailed off, the single syllable sounding more like a sigh. You blinked up at him, your vision swimming as you tried to focus on his face.

With a careful hand, Matthew helped you sit up straighter against the plush cushions. His touch was firm yet gentle - a stark contrast to the callous grip of the bouncer. He seemed to examine your face intently for a moment before his eyes narrowed, a flicker of something dangerous passing through them.

"Who did this?" he demanded, his tone no longer gentle but edged with authority.

You tried to focus, wracking your fuzzy brain for a coherent thought. "A... man... on the dancefloor...” you trailed off, your eyelids heavy with the potent drug coursing through your veins.

Matthew's jaw tensed, his hand clenching into a fist. The change in his demeanor was palpable, his aura practically crackling with barely restrained fury.

"What did he look like?" he ground out through gritted teeth, always keeping one hand firmly on your shoulder, as if afraid you might slip away at any moment.

Your vision swam as you tried to focus on his face, the words tumbling clumsily from your lips. "I... don't know. He had a…snake tattoo on his wrist.”

Matthew's forehead creased into a frown, his knowing dark eyes making contact with the bouncer. “Do a sweep. We’re closing an hour early tonight.”

Matthew's forehead creased into a frown, his dark eyes taking in your pale complexion and dilated pupils with a growing concern. "Alright," he murmured, the pads of his thumbs brushing against your heated cheeks as he gently cradled your face. "I got you."

With a fluid motion that belied his size, Matthew scooped you into his arms, carefully cradling you against his broad chest. The scent of his cologne - a warm blend of cedar and sandalwood - wafted around you, lulling you further into disorientation. As Matthew strode through the pulsating crowd towards the private elevator with you in his arms, he caught the eye of his right-hand man, So-min. Her eyes widened at the sight of your limp body in his arms.

"도대체 무슨 일이야?" She asked, her gaze flicking between you and Matthew.

"Black Viper." Matthew's jaw clenched at the thought.

"씨발." So-min's lips curled into a sneer, her eyes hardening. "How the hell did this happen?"

"We'll find out," Matthew said, his voice low and dangerous. "I want everyone who isn’t on the main quest list searched on their way out. And no one leaves until we've questioned them all. Have Jiwoo look for Sasha, and I want Joseph to put heat on the security. When we find him, I’ll break him."

So-min nodded, her expression grim. "응, 건달."

"And get the medic up here, now." Matthew's voice carried an air of finality as he stepped into the elevator.

The doors slid shut with a soft hiss, cutting off the din of the club. In the sudden silence, you could hear Matthew's steady heartbeat, strong and sure. The world around you seemed to blur as the elevator began its ascent, and you clung to the solid warmth of his body, his arms holding you firmly against him.

You weren't sure how much time passed before the elevator doors opened again, revealing the lush interior of a lavishly appointed apartment; a guard standing by the doors bowed his head respectfully as you were carried past him.

Matthew carried you through the expansive space, your eyes struggling to take in the opulent furnishings. As he turned a corner into a bedroom, you felt your breath hitch in your throat. The walls were painted a deep red, and the furniture was made of dark, polished wood. The floor was covered in plush rugs, and there was a large window that overlooked the glittering city below.

You felt your eyes begin to shut, the drowsiness overtaking you finally, but you fought against it, forcing yourself to stay awake. Matthew placed you down gently on the bed, the cool silk sheets caressing your skin. You looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes, taking in his handsome features. His dark eyes were filled with concern, and his lips were set in a firm line.

"Shit, just hold on, help is on the way." He sat down on the bed, his large frame engulfing the space.

With a shaking hand, he brushed one of your braids away from your face, revealing the fear in his eyes. "You're going to be fine, I promise." He whispered, his voice laced with desperation.

As the room spun around you, Matthew's face was the last thing you saw before succumbing to the darkness.

ou awoke in a daze, your mind foggy and your body heavy. You felt a dull ache in your bones, and your mouth was dry as sandpaper. Blinking slowly, you tried to focus your eyes on your surroundings. As your vision began to clear, you realized you were lying in a large bed, the sheets soft against your skin. The room was unfamiliar, and your heart raced as you tried to remember what had happened.

A movement on the edge of the bed caught your eye, and you turned your head to see Sasha moving slightly in her sleep, dressed in sweats that were clearly twice her size. A frown creased your features. How did she get there?

As if sensing your gaze, she stirred and opened her eyes.

"Y/N!" Her voice was loud as she clenched you in her arms. "I'm so happy you're okay! I'm never letting you out of my sight again!"

"Sasha..." Your voice was a hoarse whisper as you struggled to sit up, your muscles protesting the motion. "What happened?"

"You were... poisoned," she said, her voice taking on a hard edge. "Black Viper."

“The Black Viper..?” You felt a chill run down your spine at the mention of the notorious gang. "How did you know?"

"Matthew told me what happened," a heavy sigh left her mouth. "Or I kinda forced him to."

"You, forcing the crime boss to tell you something? Really?" You almost chuckled at the thought of your best friend, standing mighty at five foot four, yelling at a man who could crush her with his bare hands.

"Hey, when it comes to my best friend's safety, I'll do anything," she gave you a playful nudge. "I'm glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if..." her voice trailed off as she fought back tears.

You pulled her into a tight embrace, the two of you clinging to each other for a moment as the gravity of the situation settled in.

"He's not so bad, you know. That Matthew,” she said through choked tears. “He cares about you."

You frowned. "We barely know each other, Sash."

"But he does care," Sasha insisted. "He was so worried when he brought you up here last night. He stayed by your side until the doctor came to check on you. I don’t I think he even slept."

"Where is he?" you asked, your voice sounding more confident now.

"He's been in his office since last night," she gave a heavy sigh. "Last time I checked, looking very angry while on the phone...I think last night might've fucked business up for Eclipse for a little while."

Heat crept into your cheeks as you recalled the brief moment in his high-rise suite; his big hands gently caressing your skin. "I don't even know what to say to him..."

"Well, if he's smart, he won't let you out of his sight for a while," Sasha winked, but her voice held a hint of steel. "I don't want anyone coming for you. I won't stand by while that happens."

"I'll be careful, Sash," you replied, trying to keep the amusement out of your voice at her protectiveness. "I should probably go thank him."

You eased yourself off the bed, your muscles protesting as you straightened up. Sasha was at your side in an instant, her arm wrapping around yours to offer her support. "Take it easy," she instructed. "Your body was under a lot of stress last night."

"I can't sit here all day," you sighed. "Not when there's a man to see and...other work to be done."

"Well, go easy and work your way up to it," she continued, her tone fierce. "Do NOT push yourself."

"Yes, mother," you joked, earning a playful slap on the shoulder.

"I'm serious," she warned. "Now come on. I'm sure you have a crime boss to get back to."

You nodded and kicked back the covers, your body feeling stiff but otherwise stable. Slipping on a pair of slippers, you tentatively made your way out of the room and towards Matthew's office. As you neared the heavy wooden door, you could hear his raised voice coming from inside.

"No excuses. I want answers." His tone was low and dangerous, sending shivers down your spine. "I want to know how the fuck a Viper got in, and how the fuck he was able to get behind that bar."

"Matthew," Joseph's voice was measured. "We already looked at the surveillance cameras. He couldn't have gotten that far ahead with you looking down at the main dancefloor. No one sneaked past us either. Unless you're implying-"

"Someone here let him in." Matthew growled. "Everyone needs to be questioned."

"And you just wanna risk pissing off our business partners?" His right-hand man challenged him.

"Well then they can kindly fuck off."

There was silence after Matthew's response.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Somin's voice interjected, "two of the security guards we have on file didn't report in at the end of the night. We need to track them down."

"...And bring them to me. You're in charge of that, Somin."

Suddenly, a set of footsteps from the other side of the door padded forward and you rushed to hide in the hallway bathroom, pushing open the handle and hiding within the tub and pulling the shower curtain over yourself. You watched through the thin veil of the curtain the shadow of the guard's feet appear right outside the door and making their way further down the hallway.

As the guard's shadow faded and their footsteps were no longer audible, you opened the curtain slowly and crawled out of the tub, opening the door and taking a peek outside.

There was no sign of the guard.

"So...Ricardo wants to fuck with me all of a sudden?" You heard Matthew continue from the other side of the door.

"He had no part in this. When we sent a hitman to his place, he didn't know it was us," Joseph reassured. "So if this was a revenge hit, someone else in the cartel is responsible."

Matthew gave a heavy sigh, the leather of the couch creaking as he changed his position. "What about who the fuck poisoned her?"

"Wasn't that hard to track him down," Jiwoo's voice was heard. "The idiot wasn't even hiding out that far from Eclipse after the incident. He's all yours when your ready."

Matthew let out a frustrated sigh. "씨발 뱀..." He paused for a moment. "Jiwoo, start working on getting some answers out of our new friend. Let's see if he really is a Viper or just another rat."

"응, 건달," she responded before the sound of a door opening and closing was heard.

There was a moment of silence, before Somin spoke up again, her voice softer now. "What about her?"

"Her?"

"The woman."

There was a pause. "I'm not going to let anything happen to her. She's under my protection."

"You're gonna try and keep her away from the shitshow we deal with on a daily basis?" Joseph questioned incredulously.

"I might put off on meeting anyone, 6th Street gang and Mafia alike." He muttered, an air of finality to his tone.

A heavy sigh was heard. "But the big meeting is in a couple days and with those sons of bitches out there on a power play..." Somin's voice rose.

"I don't give a fuck." Matthew's tone was low and dangerous. "I'll take care of this Viper shit first, then I'll worry about the rest."

"And then?" Somin pressed.

"Then, she'll forget all about it." Matthew's tone left no room for argument. "And go back to her normal life."

"You sure that's what you want?" Somin asked softly, her tone tinged with concern.

There was a long pause.

"I'd kill a motherfucker a hundred times over," Matthew grumbled under his breath, "before I'd let anything happen to her."

Your heart skipped a beat, and heat rushed to your cheeks. You bit your bottom lip to suppress a smile, despite the situation. It was comforting to hear the feeling was mutual.

"Are you sure? She seemed like-" Joseph tried to get through to his boss, but he silenced him with a cold glare.

"Drop it," he snapped.

"Yeah, yeah," he chuckled, putting his hands up in defense.

Matthew fell silent, and for a moment, the only sound was the ticking of the clock on his desk. "Just... keep an eye on her for me, alright? And Sasha, too. I don't want them getting mixed up in this any more than they already are."

"응, 건달," So-min responded.

"Of course." Joseph reciprocated.

"You both have your assignments, now leave me." Matthew commanded.

Sounds of movement emanated from the room as Matthew's trusted advisors collected their things and headed to their designated jobs. The heavy wooden door closing loudly with a gentle thud behind them.

You heard Matthew exhale, his breath ragged. A muted thump resonated through the floorboards and you guessed it must have been his head hitting his desk.

For a few minutes, the only sound you could hear was his heavy breathing, your own racing heart, and the steady ticking of the clock.

After the minutes dragged on, it felt like hours, you worked up the nerve to grab the door handle and push the door open, the squeak of the door announcing your presence.

Once the door was open, you saw Matthew lifting his head from the table, his eyes slowly looking up from the grain and finding the owner of the hand. Matthew instantly sat up, his strong muscles shifting and rolling beneath the black silk shirt.

"...Y/N," he whispered, his dark eyes fixed on yours, "you're awake."

Before you could respond, he was on his feet, striding across the room to where you stood.

"Yes, I'm okay," you reassured him. "Thanks for...everything."

"Good," he hummed. His intense gaze never leaving yours. The richness of his cologne engulfed you as he reached up to brush a loose braid behind your ear, his fingertips lingering on your cheek. "And don't thank me

"Does that happen often around you?" you blurted out, wincing at the words as they left your mouth.

He let out a hollow laugh. "More than I wish. I guess I should've been paying attention better."

Matthew's eyes held an unfathomable emotion, the familiar anger and tenderness that you remembered from the club, but also something that shifted closer to fear.

"You'll probably forget it in a month or so." He shrugged, nonchalantly.

You stood silent in front of him, the memories flooding back to you in small fragments - The feeling of his touch, the darkness that crept into the edges of your vision, and finally, the fear.

"Matthew."

The man froze in place, his hand dropping back to his side. Your body shuddered as the feeling of the needle sticking into your flesh invaded your mind.

"I...think I need to sit down," you sighed, closing your eyes briefly, holding back tears.

Moving at once, he took your hand, leading you to a seat. He sat next to you, a distance still between you. As if gauging to see how close was too close for comfort.

"Look, I don't know what kind of shit you get tangled up with every day," you began, "but I didn't ask for that." You took a breath, mentally crossing your fingers, and opened your mouth to speak, "If I'm in danger, or if I'm ever in danger because of my connection to you, I'd want to know."

Matthew's expression darkened, the tension returning to his shoulders. "Give me some time to handle it. And I'll explain-tell you everything. I promise."

Silence hung heavy in the air, and you worried you had crossed some unspoken line, your body trembling with fear.

"It isn't always like that," he finally replied, his voice strained. "Things have gotten out of hand in the past year, but it isn't going to happen again. I won't let it."

A lump formed in your throat, and you swallowed it down, choking on your words.

"I understand," you nodded, your hands wringing each other in a nervous tic.

"I'm sorry, so sorry for what happened," he took your hand and squeezed it, pulling it towards his chest, "But I'll make sure you're safe, no matter what it takes."

The memory of Matthew's arms around you, as he carried you out of the club, sent a shiver of anticipation through you. You shook your head, trying to clear the thoughts from your mind. He was a dangerous man - a powerful criminal. And yet, you couldn't stop thinking about him. His words echoed in your mind, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine.

I'll make sure you're safe, no matter what it takes.

You had never felt more drawn to someone than you did to Matthew. And yet, you knew you should stay away from him. You were just another woman caught up in the chaos of his life, a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. But that didn't change how you felt.

The sound of your name pulled your attention back to the present, and you noticed Sasha was standing by the front door, ready to leave. You nodded, giving her a weak smile.

"I’m okay," you said softly, reassuring both her and yourself.

As you climbed into the car, your thoughts drifted back to Matthew, and you wondered if you would ever see him again. A part of you hoped you wouldn't, knowing the danger of being close to him, but another part of you couldn't help but hope otherwise.

You let out a heavy sigh, settled into the plush leather seats of the car, and closed your eyes as you tried to clear your mind. As the car pulled away from the curb, you had no idea what the future held, but you knew you couldn't dwell on it now. All you could do was focus on the present and try to move forward.

So..." Sasha said, breaking the silence. "What are we going to do?"

You opened your eyes, looking over at her. Her expression was grim, her brow furrowed in concentration.

"I don't know," you admitted, "but I'm sure Matthew will figure something out."

Sasha nodded, letting out a sigh. "I hope so." She paused, looking at you. "I really do."

You nodded, unsure of what to say. The weight of everything that had happened hung heavily in the air between you. You knew it would take some time before you could fully process it all, but for now, you just needed to rest.

A month went quickly by, and just as Matthew promised, things went back to normal. Sasha never came back to work at Eclipse and started working at a boba cafe in Santa Monica. You went back to work and tried to forget about the mysterious crime boss who saved your life. Tried. His dark eyes and chiseled features were etched into your memory, and every night when you closed your eyes, you saw him. You felt the heat of his touch, the weight of his gaze, the passion in his words. It was impossible to forget the man who had captured your heart and awakened a desire within you that you never knew existed. You never thought you'd hear from him again.

It was a quiet evening, the sun beginning to set, when your phone rang. You glanced at the screen, not recognizing the number, and answered it.

"Hello?" Your voice was hesitant.

"It's Matthew." His deep voice sent shivers down your spine.

"Matthew?" You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. "Is everything okay?"

He let out a humorless laugh. "No. Not really. I need to see you."

"See me?" You glanced around the room, as if expecting him to appear out of thin air.

"Don't feel forced to," he reassured. "Just say the word, and I'll have you escorted to me safely."

There was something about his voice, the way he said the words "escorted to me," that sent a shiver of anticipation down your spine. You couldn't deny the pull you felt toward him - the desire to be close to him, to hear his voice, to feel his touch.

"Hm," you hummed, considering your options. "What time were you thinking?"

"Now."

"Now?" Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing him again so soon.

"Yes." His voice was firm, unwavering. "I'll have one of my drivers pick you up."

Before you could respond, the line went dead. You stared at your phone, the screen going dark.

You knew you should say no - that this was dangerous, that he was dangerous. But you couldn't help yourself. You wanted to see him again, even if it was just one last time. You took a deep breath and looked at the time. It was still early enough that you could get ready before the car arrived. You stood up, grabbing your purse, and headed out the door.

As you waited for the car, your heart raced, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

After what felt like an eternity, a sleek black car pulled up to the curb, its tinted windows obscuring the driver from view. You hesitated for a moment before opening the door and climbing inside.

"Hello?" You greeted the driver, a man in his thirties with brown hair and kind eyes.

"Good evening," he nodded, his voice professional. "I'll be taking you to Mr. Kim's office."

You nodded, settling into the plush leather seat. The car pulled away from the curb and merged into traffic. You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. You had no idea what to expect when you arrived at Matthew's office, but you knew it would be anything but ordinary. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as the car began to slow down. You could see Eclipse up ahead, the neon sign illuminating the darkness of the night. Your heart skipped a beat as the car pulled up to the entrance, the sound of music and chatter drifting from within.

The driver got out of the car and opened the passenger door for you, giving you a polite smile. "We're here," he said simply, gesturing for you to exit the vehicle.

You stepped out, the cool air brushing against your skin. You took another deep breath, trying to calm the racing of your heart. You glanced around, seeing the usual lineup of people waiting to get into the club. You turned to look at the driver, who was waiting patiently for you.

"Ready?" He asked, his voice laced with amusement.

You nodded, swallowing hard as you followed him toward the entrance. You were greeted by a large, muscular man who was standing guard by the doors. He gave you a polite nod and stepped aside, allowing you to pass.

You walked through the doors, your heart racing as you entered the club. The music was loud, the bass pounding through the air. The lights were dim, casting everything in a hazy glow. You looked around, seeing people dancing and drinking. A sea of bodies swaying to the beat lost in their world.

"This way." the guard motioned toward the familiar set of discreet elevator doors.

You followed him, feeling the eyes of everyone in the club on you as you walked through the room. Your pulse quickens, the nerves building inside you as you reach the familiar set of elevators. The doors slid open, and you stepped inside, your heart racing as they closed behind you.

ou took a deep breath, trying to calm the racing of your heart as the elevator rose. The music was muffled, but you could still hear the faint thump of the bass. You glanced at the guard, who stood stoically by your side. His expression was unreadable, giving nothing away.

You felt the elevator slow and come to a stop. The doors opened, revealing a long, dimly lit hallway.

"He's in his office," the guard said simply before stepping out of the elevator.

You nodded, swallowing hard as you followed him down the hall. You could feel the tension in the air as you approached the heavy wooden door at the end of the corridor. You hesitated for a moment before reaching out and turning the handle, your pulse racing as you entered the room.

The first thing you noticed was the smell of expensive cologne and the gentle rifts of RnB music. The room was dark, illuminated only by a few dimly lit lamps. The walls were lined with bookshelves, filled with old, leather-bound volumes. A large mahogany desk sat in the center of the room, its surface covered with papers and files. A plush leather chair sat behind it, facing away from you.

"Matt?" You said softly, unsure if anyone was even in the room.

"I'm glad you're here," a deep voice came from behind you, the sound of it sending a shiver down your spine.

You turned around to see Matthew standing there, a glass of whiskey in one hand and his phone in the other. His appearance was a stark contrast from before; his hair was un-styled, his silk button-up replaced with an oversized graphic tee, and his dress shoes replaced with black Nike slides. You were taken aback by how much more relaxed he seemed compared to the first time you met him. It was...cute.

"I wasn't sure if you would come," he said, his eyes locked onto yours.

"I wasn't sure if I would either," you admitted, a nervous chuckle leaving your lips.

He smiled softly, taking a sip of his drink as he approached you. "It's good to see you again," he said, his voice low and husky.

You felt your pulse quicken as he stopped just inches from you, his presence overwhelming. You could still see the faint bags under his eyes.

"It's good to see you too," you breathed, swallowing hard as you looked up at him. "You look very comfortable. I thought you'd look-"

His gaze was intense, his dark eyes searching yours as if trying to read your mind.

"Relaxed?"

You nodded, your heart skipping a beat.

"Something like that," you muttered, heat rushing to your cheeks.

"Hmm," he hummed, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards slightly. "That makes two of us." He held out his glass of whiskey. "Care for a drink?"

You nodded, reaching out to take the glass from him. Your fingertips brushed against his as you did, sending a shiver down your spine. The faintest hint of an intoxicating scent lingered on his skin - a mixture of the smoky aroma of whiskey and something that was uniquely him.

"Thanks," you murmured, bringing the glass to your lips.

The amber liquid burned as it slid down your throat, warming you from the inside.

"So, tell me what happened."

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he took a seat in his leather chair. He motioned for you to sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"A fucking shit show, that's what happened," he said, his voice laced with weariness.

"Well, start from the beginning," you urged, crossing your legs as you leaned forward to give him your full attention.

He took a moment to collect his thoughts, pouring himself another drink before beginning his story.

"There was a Viper gangster who took out my friend Hwall. Miguel is his name. He's one of the most loyal employees, and Miguel is definitely not someone I'm going to forgive lightly."

Matthew's grip on the crystal tumbler tightened, his knuckles turning white.

"Then he took Hwall's threads and waltzed right into Eclipse," he scowled, taking a sip of his drink. "Bribed one of our newer hires with money to let him. Easy fucking bribe."

You looked at him, taking in his appearance. You could see the fatigue in his face, the weariness in his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, the weight of everything resting heavily upon him.

"You weren't even the original target," he continued, his voice heavy with emotion. "He was after Somin; was bitter about a recent deal I had her make with a street gang setting up to partner with the Vipers. Unbeknownst to his leader."

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and your blood ran cold. You felt a pit open in the center of your chest as you processed his words.

"So you went after him?" You asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

"Yes." He met your gaze, his eyes dark and filled with anger. "Jisoo found him hiding out not that far from Eclipse. He made it too easy."

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

"What happened then?" You asked, your curiosity getting the better of you.

"Told us everything we needed to know. And it helped that he was scared shitless for his life," he looked down at his slightly bruised hands. "Then I had my way with him."

You swallowed hard, unsure of how to respond. You weren't sure if you wanted to know what "his way" entailed.

"I gave him the poison option, like how he did you," Matthew said, his voice low and menacing. "He chose not to take it. So I broke his fingers."

You sat in silence for a moment, processing what you had just heard. Your heart pounded in your chest, your palms growing sweaty as you tried to keep your emotions in check.

"Matthew," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, his gaze fixed on you.

"Don't be," he said, his expression unreadable. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat. No one hurts the people I care about."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You weren't sure what to make of them, but the intensity of his gaze sent shivers down your spine.

"So," you quickly change the tone of affection. "He was really a rat after all, huh?"

His eyes darted up at you with newfound interest.

"Definitely a rat," he smirked and let out a modest chuckle. "So, what did you expect me to look like before you came over?" He raised a brow in curiosity.

"Y'know," you shrugged, trying to sound casual. "Button-up shirt, clean slack pants; the usual gangsta look."

"The usual 'gangsta' look?" he echoed. "You're cute."

You looked up at him through your lashes, trying not to get lost in the pools of his brown eyes.

"Well, that's how they always dress in the movies." You took a sip of the whiskey, the burning sensation down your throat warming you from the inside.

"It's true. Most people in my field are more... traditional. But I like to mix things up every now and then. Keep 'em on their toes. Y'know?"

You nodded, the heat in your cheeks spreading throughout your body. You couldn't help but notice how sexy he was. The way he carried himself with confidence, his sharp jawline, the dimples in his cheeks when he smiled, his tattooed muscular arms...

"I'm glad you like it." His eyes watched you intently, noticing the way your eyes took him in.

"I do," you said softly, meeting his gaze.

His expression softened slightly, his lips curling into a smile.

"Good," he said, his voice low and husky. "I'm glad."

You felt your heart flutter at the sound of his voice, and you shifted in your seat, trying to compose yourself.

"I'm glad I came to see you," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

He raised his glass in response, taking a long sip of his drink. "So am I," he said, his eyes never leaving yours.

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. You were captivated by him, unable to look away. You wondered what it would be like to be with him, to feel his lips on yours, his hands roaming your body. The thought sent a shiver down your spine, a heat spreading throughout your core.

"So," you distract yourself with your whiskey again. "If you're such a "businessman", where are all your guns?"

"Who said I didn't have any?" He teased you with a raised brow. "In this business, you gotta be good at hiding things. I have two at my sides right now."

"Where?" Your interest is piqued.

Matthew smirked, glancing down at his waistband, and running his long fingers over his crotch.

"My weapons dealer call 'em 'dick-sleeves.' Got them for me as a gag gift."

You felt your cheeks flush at the mention of the word, especially when his had a reputation as infamous as his.

"Do they...do anything?"

He chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

"It shoots when I pull the trigger."

Your curiosity got the better of you, and you rose from your chair, closing the gap between you.

"Can I see it?"

Matthew looked up at you, his gaze darkening. "Depends. Do you trust me?"

"What kind of question is that?" You try to banter, using humor to diffuse the heavy tension between you. "Obviously not. Considering I'm here with a crime boss late at night and alone."

"Ouch." He grinned, pressing a hand to his heart. "I'm not that bad. But then again, I might as well ask that myself. What brought you back here?"

You let out a small sigh, your eyes darting to his full lips.

"Foolish curiosity."

"Mhm...Is that so?"

Suddenly Matthew's large hands were at your sides, lifting you up, and a surprised gasp left your mouth as he placed you gently on the desk. You met his gaze, your heart pounding wildly in your chest.

Never breaking eye contact with you, you watched as one of his large hands slipped under his waistband with a torturous speed. It wasn't long until he reached his zipper, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You could feel your pulse quicken as the anticipation built within you. And then, with a slow movement, he pulled out a large silver-plated pistol, engraved with intricate lotus designs and dark ebony inlays.

Inches from you, he held the muzzle of the cold weapon, the warmth of his hand breath skipping over the cold surface of the weapon. You admired the way Matthew effortlessly flicked the safety on and off with an excited grin. It terrified yet delighted you.

"This was a gift from my father," he whispered as his hot breath caressed the muzzle.

You hesitated for a moment before reaching forward to touch the glistening steel. As you expected, it was cold to the touch. You could feel the curves of each design beneath your fingers, and you breathed heavily, your heart racing at the thought of having a loaded weapon in such proximity.

"Gave it to me before he was murdered a few years back."

You looked up at him, noticing the pain in his eyes. It was clear this was a touchy subject for him, but he continued, a hint of emotion lacing his words.

"Was 'supposed to give it to me when he handed the family business over to me. Whenever that was originally gonna be," he scoffed.

"It sounds like you meant a lot to him," you whispered, running a finger down the length of the barrel, taking in every detail.

"I like to think so," he breathed, his eyes never leaving yours.

There was something electric in the air, something different between the two of you. An intimacy, the tension thick. With the memories, the grief Matthew repressed began to resurface, and he subconsciously grasped the handle tighter, as if the weapon could ease his pain. You chewed your inner cheeks in an attempt to fight the wetness. A thick, heavy silence filled the air as you both got lost in your thoughts. And then, slowly he placed the weapon down at your side, reached forward, his large hand cupping your cheek. You could feel the calloused ridges against your soft skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

"I want to ask you something," his deep voice was barely above a whisper, his intense eyes locked onto yours.

"What is it?" You blinked, fighting the growing attraction that coursed through your veins, bringing the dull ache to the surface, right above your heart.

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, a smirk working his way onto his lips.

"Can I kiss you?"

You knew you shouldn't let him, but there was something in the tension between you, the hunger in his eyes. You couldn't bring yourself to say no. Instead, you nodded, your heartbeat quickening.

"Please," you breathed, leaning in, desperate to feel his lips on yours.

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, his mouth was on yours, hungry and needy, making your knees go weak. Your tongues danced together, his taste intoxicating, filling your senses. You gripped the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, unable to get enough.

You had been longing for this ever since the first time you met. And now here he was, his strong arms around you, his masculine scent surrounding you, his delicious kisses filling your head with thoughts you had been desperately trying to suppress.

You pressed yourself against him, eager to feel his body against yours, needing more than just a kiss. His hand moved to the back of your neck, his fingers entwining in your curls, pulling you closer, and his tongue explored your mouth. You kissed him back eagerly, savoring every moment, your entire body aching for him.

Before you could graze his skin with your own, he pulled away, causing a sigh to leave your lips. It was a mixture of gratitude and frustration that he hadn't continued with his obvious seduction. His deep brown eyes searched yours, his heavy breath matching yours as if to tell you that this was hard on him as well.

"I'll ask you one more thing," he breathed, his voice barely audible as he gazed at your body. "Do you want me to have one of my drivers take you home?"

You nodded, feeling a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered.

"Or," he said, his voice low and husky. "Do you want me to show you how much I want you?"

You shivered at his words, your breath quickening as you felt the warmth of his body pressed against yours. You could feel your heart racing, your pulse quickening as you gazed into his dark, drained eyes.

"I..." You swallowed hard. "You look exhausted, though. Maybe you should rest."

"I haven't been able to rest for the past month," he sighed. "My mind has been occupied with work, the turf war, and...you."

Your brows raised.

"I'll be able to rest," He looked down. "Once I have you."

You shivered once more, the hairs on the back of your neck standing. You opened your mouth as if to say something, only to close it when you realized you had nothing to say. Instead, you bit down on your lower lip as you contemplated his request.

You couldn't shake off the fear of mixing pleasure and pain, pleasure and death, and pleasure with the uncertainty of his motives and moral compass. After all, he was a criminal, but it's not like you weren't also living a life of misbehavior yourself. He's a powerful, handsome, fascinating businessman...criminal you correct yourself, who obviously had wealth; power, and a beautiful, young woman falling at his feet. A deep blush covered your cheeks as you looked up at him through your lashes, meeting his dark gaze.

With you out of words to answer, Matthew filled in the blanks for you:

"You're nervous," he chuckled. "When was the last time somebody touched you?"

Gathering all the remaining dignity you had left, you mutter a response before turning your eyes to his hands.

"It's been...years."

His hand found its way to your chin, lifting it up to look upon him again.

"Do you want me to fix that?" his tone is soft, teasing, yet slightly dangerous as he waits for an answer.

A small nod from you is all he needed to continue. "Come with me." His voice beckons you forward, leaving your seat behind and walking towards him as he guides you towards his office door.

"Let's take this to my bedroom."

With your stomach doing little backflips in anticipation, and your legs moving forward, Matthew leads you into his black marble staircase.

The smell of crisp chilled wine, candles, and bourbon wafted through the hall as the clicking of the vintage clock on the wall signified his excitement was just as audible as the sound of your elevated heart thumping hard and fast in your chest. As Matthew reaches for the handle of his sleek bachelor suite, he wastes no time swiftly pushing it open and grabbing your wrist. The door swings shut, and as it does, his lips capture yours into a greedy, heated kiss. Matthew kisses you so hungrily that you begin to tremble against him.

His movements were tentative yet desperate as he gently walked the two of you back to the soft plush bed. When the back of your knees buckled upon the edge, you eagerly clung to him, an effort for support; Matthew was practically towering over your physique.

"I promise I will be gentle," he mumbles against your lips.

You gasp as his hands hold firmly to your hips. Matthew smirked triumphantly before parting your legs and carefully lifting your hoodie over your head, and then your unclasped shorts button. One by one, articles of clothing revealed themselves, like a grand reveal, so methodical and precise. Once your pants had hit the tiled floor, his slender, veined fingers traced around the elastic band of your underwear, their slow movement inching them down with deliberate caution.

Your breath came short and quick, the air surrounding you feels electrifying. Matthew presses a kiss between your thighs as your heels dug into the plush bed sheets. A moan escaped your lips as the pressure subsided and your panties were removed. Slowly, ever so slowly, Matthew pulled himself away from you, leaving you standing there in nothing but your bra.

Standing back up straight, Matthew licked his full lips as his hungry gaze trailed across your body, seductively, hypnotically.

"God, you're so beautiful," he whispered, his deep tone sending shivers down your spine.

A gasp escaped your lips as you watched him take peel his shirt off his body, full exposing his fulling tattooed arms and chest to you for the first time. Biting your lower lip, you admire the sharp muscly V that trailed down his abdomen, leading to his generous length concealed behind his basketball shorts. Your palms and fingers ran along his hard, flat, firm belly and feeling him quake and shiver. Using your small, delicate thumbs, you started feeling along the outlines and grooves of his tattoos, tracing your way up his stomach and chest until you cupped his handsome, sun-kissed face. Staring into each other's eyes once more, yours hooded by thick fluttering lashes, Matthew reaches behind you and unclasped your silk bra.

As your breasts heaved in their naked state, Matthew guided you higher onto the soft plush mattress, your long neck laid exposed, the natural curve of your back pressing against the sheets.

Both of your chests heaved with need, breaths hot as you felt like gravity was pulling you together, desperate for him to touch you. It was a struggle to keep your mind intact. Your inner thighs began dripping wet with an anticipating need to feel his length. Before you knew it, he had dropped his pants, followed shortly by his tight black boxers, sliding them off his lean frame.

"Just relax," Matthew growled through his crooked grin, his sultry voice echoing through the room. His hair perfectly framed his face, framing his sharp jawline like a frame holding an ethereal work of art.

As his shaft twitched and grew hard before your eyes, a breathy "holy shit" escaped from your lips. Using the underside of his thumb, he wiped his bottom lip, tilting his head curiously. With amusement in his eyes, he reached over into the nightstand table, where he began digging around for a condom.

"You ready?" he asked in a concerned tone.

Before you could even think or process your thoughts, a nod spills out, your quivering thighs pulsating in dire eagerness. With his warm, calloused fingers, Matthew slid the silky smooth plastic along his large length, only pausing for a brief moment when he had gotten the task done. Pulling himself closer to your entrance, the sound of his shaft rubbing along you was enough to cause yourself to tremble and shake like a virgin.

An intense and tingly pleasure you had forgotten existed pulsated inside your core and began to gather in intensity. However, before the real fun could begin, Matthew's mouth quickly found your pebbled dark nipples. Tugging and playing with your buds, goosebumps erupted across your darkening skin.

"It's taking everything in me," he breathed, a crooked grin tugging on his lips. "not to dive into you right now."

"I-I think I can manage."

"Oh, really?"

Pleased with your answer, Matthew rubbed his length along your throbbing heat. You hadn't been this wet in a long, long time, yet as he hovered over you, his hips instinctively rolling forward into yours, the walls of your cunt gripping him, so that it could consume all of the moisture. You gasped as he tenderly explored you, inch by tortuous inch until he was fully inside. Rendering you utterly discombobulated and senseless, you heard the clicking of his jaw, breathing so heavily it warmed your ear. It wasn't until he found the bottom of your folds, where your most intense caverns resided that you noticed the overwhelming tension around you.

In silence, with every few thrusts, his large, muscular arm would wrap securely around your waist, pulling your body so close. Instant gratification washes over the two of you as Matthew quickly begins his rhythmic dance, while his arms placed at both sides of your head— holding himself up, and dipping down to steal a greedy passionate kiss.

The way his chiseled waist and his veined abdomen flexes as he pumped himself into you almost had your eyes rolling back in your head. Shamefully, he brings one of his hands down to massage and tease your enlarged clit, sending a surge of pleasure cascading all throughout your body. You let out a seductive and rather unladylike grunt as your breath tickles the side of his neck.

His pace became rhythmic, strong and penetrating as the buildup for his peak quickly approached. Your legs and core grew weak, and he realized that you were on the cusp of losing yourself all over his manhood. Taking a finger and massaging your clit, he pushed you to the brink, burying himself into your wet opening, to the hilt.

"Matt!" You screamed in pleasure as the shock waves exploded over your body and swept through you. He captured your lips into a wet, sloppy kiss as he continued his relentless thrusting, faster and harder than before.

His hips snap back and forth as his grip tightens on you.

He kissed your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin. "Mhm," he mumbled. "I'm not done with you yet."

The mixture of his thrusts and your wetness became sloppy, driving you insane.

You leaned on your elbows to cup his face, biting your lip.

"Please..." You shook your head in disbelief, sweat dripping down your skin.

"You gonna cum for me again?" he asked through clenched teeth.

You couldn't even hold yourself together at the point and resorted to clinging onto him, fingernails digging into his back, shaking. "Mh-mhm..."

There was a desperation in your tone; it made his skin tingle with each trembling little squeal.

"Keep those pretty legs wide apart for me," he groaned, throwing his head back, his hips stuttering as he gripped the backboard and pounded into you in an unrelenting pace.

You were on the verge of tears at how good it all felt, and your toes curled hard.

In the background of the muffled music, you heard a string of explicit curse words spill from his mouth. You trembled, and as if right on cue, the muscles in your core contracted, the second orgasm hitting you like a tsunami wave, the very core of your being, sent into absolute bliss.

Shuddering into his ears, "O-oh my g-od!" left your lips between whimpers.

You fell limp on the bed as he continued, your energy and entire being almost depleted, drained by the explosive double orgasm. Despite this, you found it cute how he was fighting off his own, and the way his eyes would clench whenever your soft, slick flesh made contact with his. As the erotic pulses rocked your body, Matthew dug his hands into your ass and pulled you onto him, snapping his hips into your still, quivering heat.

Your moans drive him into a frenzy, and he pumped mercilessly into you.

With each roll of his hips, he let out a groan, his fingers dipping between your bodies and seeking your pearl, where he rolled it, coaxing another orgasm from you. He could barely talk through his breaths. "Cum with me," he whispered, his fingers slipping up and down, along with his penetrations. Your breaths intertwined as you both fell from the ecstasy, neither knowing whose is whose at this point.

And Matthew slumped over you, gently stroking and rubbing the side of your body.

"Thank you," he whispered as he gingerly pressed his lips to yours. You exhaled in pure awe.

The room fell silently, except for the syncopated rhythm of the two of you inhaling and exhaling, a dance of passion and gratification. You were speechless, trembling with excitement as your skin dewed and hairs prickled.

With lust-glazed eyes, his sultry voice spilled from his mouth, making a delightful moan against your ears, tickling your skin. "Can I...propose something to you?"

You nodded, relinquishing yourself to whatever words he chose to deliver.

"Wake up next to me every day and I'll give you the world. If that's what you want."

Your eyes sparkled as you shook your head again. "Matt." Your breath shuddered in disbelief, a trembling whimper creeping from your lungs. "Are-you serious?"

He laid beside you, his eyes never leaving your heaving frame, the sight causing his cock to grow. Sliding down the length of your body, his torso enveloped yours, warmth radiating off of him. He was all muscle, and your heart pounded at the sight. And then his eyelashes met your cheek, kisses trailed from your collarbone. You trembled at the feeling, desperate to cling to him, though exhausted.

"I'll protect you with my life, love," his lips traveled from your neck to your chest, and you released a pleasurable sigh. "But I know that I can't just let you go either."

His tongue licked the corner of his mouth, followed by his glistening teeth that bit down on his bottom lip.

"You need my protection," he said softly, his voice nearly a whisper, though as loud and piercing as a gunshot wound. "And I need you."

𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖚𝖊𝖉...

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #matthew kim #matthew kim kard #BM #bm kard #tell my momma #kard #somin kard #big matthew #jiwoo kard #j.seph kard #km kard smut #matthew kim smut #nectar #nectar bm

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castle-dominion · 1 year ago

Text

5x4 murder he wrote

these girls are amazing I love them my gal is just watching the clock RC: But there will be plenty of that this weekend GIRL SHUSH his whispers are great KB: (sigh) Wow, Castle. Thank you for reminding me that I’m lying to a bunch of people that I really care about so I don’t get fired on an ethics violation ‘cause I’m dating you.

KR, v loud: Hey Castle! RC: *there is no meme for the face I am thinknig of* Ryan's outfit "her boyfriend" "give uss sss ss something!"

Wow hella nice place

JE: Why would Beckett be holding out on us? KR, sounding genuine: Maybe there’s something wrong with the guy. Maybe he’s bad news. ((They care abt her)) JE, using it as an excuse: Well, then as her partners, it’s our obligation to find out who this guy is. KR: And what kind of partners would we be if we didn’t? Her safety could be at stake. JE: Exactly, and with no active murder case going on, I say we use this time to find him. ((They also,, just are curious lol))

KB: So uh, are you rich or smth? Holy this place is huge & nice

What's up with her though? Is she ok? complete privacy? already poured himself a drink? Wow she's tanned this episode.

UGH THE MUSIC IS SO SO GOOD Ooh becket, wowie

HOLY CRAP THIS MAN IS BLEEDING & DROPPING SAND I mean of course, this is a murder show Hey I only just noticed, we didn't get a teaser

I like Brady. What kind of arrangement? She's hot enough ig? & I'm sure castle had met this police chief fellow before

Watch a lot of cop shows do we? Shapiro?

becks is maaaad

castle is going into crime solving mode XD

Nice wooden table, reminds me of the altar in my fnmi church

they just want to have sex but they love the story they want justice lmao the party was killer XD

Green screen it looks like

[10:48, INT. PRECINCT, AUTOPSY – DAY] [Ryan and Esposito follow Lanie around her lab.] LP: Beckett’s boyfriend? Don’t you two have something better to do? JE: Actually, no. ((like balancing the egg)) KR: We figured Beckett must have started up with the guy during her suspension. JE: A pretty emotional time for her. I bet she needed a shoulder to lean on. KR: An ex. JE: It would explain why she’s too embarrassed to tell us who it is. It makes her look weak. KR: We’re thinking the most likely scenario is that it was the last guy that she was with. JE: Dr. Joshua Davidson. KR: Mm-hmm. JE: It’s him, isn’t it? LP: Okay, I get that you don’t have a life, Javi, but you’re married, Kevin, so what’s your excuse? KR: I— LP: Whoever Beckett’s boyfriend is, is none of your business. JE: Come on, Lanie. You must know who it is. She went back to Josh, didn’t she? LP: Is this how you interrogate people? ‘Cause you ain’t doing nothing but pissing me off. ((I love her)) [Esposito reels his expression back in.] LP: Now I don’t know who it is, and I respect Beckett’s privacy, but I do know it’s not Josh, because he’s been in the Amazon setting up free clinics for the last year. JE: Are you sure about that? [Lanie gives him an annoyed look.] KR: I think she’s sure. JE: Yeah. [Ryan’s cell rings.] KR: Hey, Castle. Yeah, I’m gonna put you on speakerphone so you can weigh in on this. ((brings castle into their convo instead of whatever castle was calling for initially)) RC: (on speaker phone) Weigh in on what? KR: (on speaker phone) Well, we’re in the morgue with Lanie trying to figure out who Beckett’s boyfriend is. ((So becks knows that her partners apparently try to look into her personal life, & even try to get castle in on it. The boys totally could have used the excuse that since she wasn't telling them they were mildly concerned)) [Beckett straightens up in her chair in fear.] LP: (on speaker phone) I have nothing to do with this nonsense. [Lanie walks off and hits Esposito on her way out.] RC: Yeah, until you’re bagging their mangled bodies when Beckett finds out. [Beckett smirks.] JE: (on speaker phone) Pfft. Like we’re afraid of Beckett. (chuckles) [Beckett purses her lips.] KR: (on speaker phone) Besides, how’s she gonna find out? [Beckett grabs for the phone angrily, but Castle snatches it off of the base first before she can blow their secret.]

poison with a gun lmao

that is like,, magenta not blood red-- wait nvm castle not normal to say! You could have said "It must be hard to be the last one to see him alive, are you doing ok?"

Yeah he barely needed to pressure her at all lol

so right, he is NOT close friends with the chief

hooker friend XD & now rick has another arrest on his record.

oh no this poor guy hasn't worked homicide before...

Making a deal! Nice! two hours in here? "relax" lmao He's going to learn how to solve homicides!

Oh no, if the precinct finds out... that would be less than good

bad coffee or good coffee?

He does indeed have friends in robbery, this is a plot point that has been mentioned before

KB: Why are you even helping them? are they trying to find a ship name? Yeah we know their ship name. (tho consistency is nice. I personally prefer kevenny over kevjen & esparish over esplanie, & rickate is fine but caskett is better... you should see my table/chart of ship names lol.)

lol just deputy jones <3 (what if it was him?)

in the ocean FOR 20 mins?

they are so hot for each other I love this meth guy lol he is crazed out

A red shark with red eyes? reminds me of that holmes novel with the LERNER I KNOW THAT NAME

Oof all that rope

I keep forgetting non-natives usually don't use "deadly" Oh wow I just googled it & apparently it is also used by australian aboriginals too, not just us up here in canada & probably the rest of north america, (but probs only english speaking parts in the americas)

Love how the police chief is just sitting there while these two are doing most of the interviewing

Group therapy? Or weight loss

exactly from 8.30 to 10?

It's going to be the chief himself lol Castle's face when he heard that name

Oh hey Sal! We know sal!

No contacting vinnie the scar! *cut to vinnie toasting salud* Yeah a surprising amount of people can't cook This has been a great way to slip into it

VC: Ooh, see, that’s the difference between Castle and me. You’ve had my complete attention since I’ve been here, sweetheart. RC: Whoa, whoa. Watch it, Vinnie. Don’t make me have to do to you what someone did to your neighbor. VC: Oh, you heard about that, huh? RC: Heard about it? The guy ended up in my pool!

castle no you went too far! You should have given a different route! You also maybe could have offered him to take home his leftovers even though the evening went poorly & you could have said you hoped time would heal this bump in the road.

solving murders is like foreplay for them. I say this about detective murdoch & doctor ogden too

Give him some linguine to make things up... Outing them is a good threat "He said he already ate" she probably heard the convo hun

Ooh nice place there! All dirty & gross! Flashlights! No vests. Also turn your phone on silent idiot sounds to me like the place is going to blow up heavy door...

WHO'S THAT? GOSH THEY HAVE A GUN Holy crap they took him down! Gosh ryan went in that direction & probs didn't see this individual here, thank goodness esposito came in right after & knocked him Wow ryan is yelling. & the other guy is just still there? & espt leaves him? wait no he takes the gun Wearing a lot of stuff rn. ppe But dang they are coughing a ton. ryan mr ex drug cop

He used to do what? Cook the books? I forget what he did & idk what that means naked by the pool? they switched places, now the one trying to be sexy & is the one worried about the murder "exactly" he says about the murder & drug case & then pulls her close

Ryan & esposito look pretty but I'm not interested in taking a pic, I'm tired maybe I will clip this tho bc the way ryan stops in front of espt ooh

Good to have your lawyer making back to making crank lol ryan is so good in this interrogation I love love it whu what do you mean girlfriend? Hey! Hey! I’ll ask the questions here,

brown but almost blonde nowadays, & I think her eyes might be hazel body type? Hot. That's how ryan knows it's beckett lol. KR: Son of a gun

KR, sitting chill, feet up (so we get to see his nice shoes): You were right, Castle. Franklin was using his helicopter to move meth to the Hamptons. Looks like you blew this case wide open. Guess you can get back to your writing now, huh? & then kate in the room frantic & "are you still there?" RC: Uh, what else did Aaron Lerner say? Did he say anything else about… anything else? KR: Oh, you know, the usual. “I didn’t do it. You got the wrong guy.” I’m pretty sure he told me everything he knows. He is SO toying with them KR, smug smile still on his face: Yeah. Good luck with the writing. *hangs up immediately*

why did he go to open the door & then,, close it? Good. But why are you telling them? Oh honour of being at the arrest

Ooh he has his gun out! Nice! I'm lucky! & plot armour

I mean, yeah, these knots are the way they go. Knots are the same. The only difference would be maybe left handed vs right handed. Oh the knot wasn't the right knot, nvm

I called it! It was the chief! OR NOT HOLY CRAP I mean... yeah *hides behind beckett* BRADY TOOK A SHOT! RC: Sorry about the whole “accusing you of murder”…still buddies? Brady: Yeah...

toast to you! Oh now they are waiting for him to leave. Hot tip "Well I shouldn't keep you, we'd better let you go, but let me walk you to the door"

Oh crap I forgot I was going to mention it's neat to have fbi contacts & we get to see ppl making use of these contacts

(also ryan's shirt looks like it was not ironed... I hate ironing & think that we as a society should stop caring about wrinkles, I just think it is an interesting fact)

JE: Well, the case in the Hamptons has been solved, but the case of the secret boyfriend remains open. Turns out Beckett’s FBI ex has been stationed in Europe for six months. KR: Huh. JE: What? You got anything? [Ryan turns around to face Esposito, and leans back in his chair, considering for a moment.] KR: Nah. No, I was just thinking, maybe we should drop it. [Esposito’s brow furrows in surprise.] KR: You know, let Beckett’s private life stay private. JE: What, you mean give up? (scoffs) A real detective never gives up on a case, bro. KR: You know it’s not a real case, right? JE: You’re gonna tell me what a real case is? KR: Uh, last time I checked, it’s when there was a murder. JE: Oh, there’s been a murder all right. Your spirit. KR: Wow. [They grab their coats and head out.] JE: Your dignity, too. KR: Huh. Well, you know what, just for that, the first round’s on you. JE: Yeah, good luck with that. [They greet a co-worker passing by.] JE: Bruce. KR:Bruce.

Ah bruce. Name for this guy now.

the story is not the hardest part... I mean sometimes it is... the idea at least is easiest. Sometimes making the story make sense is hard. But then it's the sitting down & working that is the hardest part. the music Lots of candles too, I hope they are not too close bc she has hair oh gosh they are on the bedframe what if they have rigorous sex & it makes them fall? I mean they could be into wax play ig...

cute af & I'm even 20 minutes early!

#castle 5x4 #castle 5x4 quote #castle 5x4 spoilers #the hamptons episode

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mxrvelouscreations · 1 year ago

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@youmissedone

"I mean it makes sense given how you just told me your childhood was like. If that's how it was when you were younger, then you tend to carry it into adulthood because it's the only way you've known," Claire replied, biting down on her lip slightly. She didn't blame him for bottling things up, since she tended to do it at times. Carlos was the only one she could really open up to, the only one she felt comfortable doing it with, and even then, there were still things that she kept from him. "But you don't need to thank me. That's what friends are for right? You are always welcome to lay everything at my door."

She nodded slightly in agreement to his statement. "They think that because of our background, we know how to handle all of this. That we will always know of how to get us out of a situation," she mused, shrugging slightly. "I don't think that it's a bad thing for us to open up to the others, but I do get your point. They see us as more than human so you don't want to let them see the truth. You don't want them to know that really... you're just as scared as they are. Or that you're just as emotional..."

A smile soon appeared on her lips. "Yeah I do, but I don't tell you that often because I don't want you to know there are other sides to you that I like," she teased, "but if he wants to make an appearance, I wouldn't mind that every so often. Who knows, maybe it might make falling asleep a little easier?"

There was soon a roll of her eyes as the conversation changed to sex, though she wasn't annoyed by it. This was the kind of lighthearted conversation that she needed, given how tough their week had been so far. "Mm I guess maybe once or twice, when I'm not being attacked by a horde of undead," she replied, giving him a small nudge. "But it's not... a priority as much I guess."

She hadn't known what to expect when she kissed him. There was every chance that he could pull back, ask her what the hell she was playing at. But there was also every chance of him leaning into it, of kissing her back and letting her melt into him. When she felt him kissing her back, she felt her heart flutter, her fingers gently brushing at his hair.

"I'd say you're playing them pretty well," she whispered against his lips, pulling back ever so slightly so she could look up at him. This was all she had wanted. Him kissing her, making her feel like she was the only girl in the world. "Think that might be a good idea... we just have to make sure not to be too loud ok?"

"Carlos... you awake?" (Claire)

@mxrvelouscreations

Carlos rolled over and squinted at Claire in the low light. "Unfortunately, yes. What's on your mind?" he asked, knowing that usually when one of them couldn't sleep it was because they were worried about the convoy in some form or another. Maybe he could help ease her mind about something...?

#youmissedone #ch: carlos oliveira

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the---hermit · 2 years ago

Text

A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers

This book has been all over internet for the past few months, and since I don't read a lot of contemporary novels I felt this book could be the perfect way to comfortably read something different. In fact the themes and general vibe of the novel are much closer to what I would normally read. This novel is a first person narration of a food critic who turned out to be a cannibal. She murdered and ate several ex partners, and in the novel we get to see how she did it and why. This book is included in several unhinged women main characters lists,and it totallt fits in. I can see how it got so famous, because aside from the more horror-ish vibe of the story there's a lot of sections in which our main character shares her thoughts on femininity and how being a woman is generally perceved as well as how society tells you to act as a woman. There's some really interesting and nice passages on the topic, and overall I really liked the way this character is totally opposed to the classic female representation in litterature. I'm going to say something insane but bare with me for a second and you'll see where I am going. In classic Italian litterature I have always particularly enjoyed Boccaccio because other than proving that medieval litterature can be fun he did something extraordinary: he humanized female figures in litterature. Previousl the model of women in litterature was an angelic idea, then this guy came along and reminded everyone that women are humans have desires and believe it or not they can feel a varied range of emotions and enjoy sex. I feel like A Certain Hunger is a book that instead reminds the reader that women can be violent and feel anger, or even commit these kind of crimes withour an emotional explaination like revenge. There's a couple of specific passages in the book where the author addresses this topic directly and those were some of the best parts. The plot is overall good, you follow with interest because the narrating voice is really captivating.

There is one main thing I did not like and that I have complained about on goodreads as well because it really ruined the experience for me. The book has a lot of sections that take place in Italy (it was very fun and interesting to see Italy and Italians from the point of view of someone outside of our culture to be honest, and it really added something to te experience for me). To make things more elevated and since the main character supposedly speaks Italian and has a lot of interactions with Italian people there are many words and phrases written in Italian. Those were not at all checked by someone who activly speaks the language before publishing the book. If it were just a couple of sentences it wouldn't have been too much of an issue, but since it was so present it was very annoying to read cause it was avoidable quite easily. There's typos that change the meaning of sentences, wrong adjectives, and sentences that look translated by google translate. These phrases feel wrong because they were translated directly from English, meaning they either do not make sense or sound like stuff people would never say out loud. I understand that for an English speaker that cannot speak Italian this complaint is useless, but believe me it made the reading experience so frustrating. What leaves me shocked is that the cultural aspects were mostly accurate (shout out to the full page in which the main character complains about how Trenitalia is totally unreliable, it was as hilirious as it was accurate), so I really don't understand how this can live with all the language mistakes in the book. This is my only complaint for the novel to be honest, if it had been edited by an active speaker the reading experience would have been so much better. With this being said it's not a bad book, and it's worth reading for the themes I talked about. As an horror/thriller book it wasn't too disturbing, there were a couple more graphic scenes, but I feel like it could have been much worse. If you want to read if maybe check the trigger warnings but I think it's quite appoachable.

I read this book for the studyblr w/ knives horror reading challenge for the body horror prompt.

#bookblr #booklr #2022 book #book rec #book review #book recommendation #a certain hunger #popular books #unhinged women #studyblr w/knives reading challenge #horror reading challenge #book cover #pretty books #mine #the---hermit

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kyovtani · 4 years ago

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𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)

— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader

— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN

— word count: 9.6k

— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-

— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)

[ part one ]

— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)

"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.

“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.

"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.

"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.

“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.

At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.

After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.

However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.

"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.

The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.

Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.

However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.

Kyoutani Kentarou.

You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.

"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"

"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.

"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.

"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.

You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.

After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.

The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.

It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.

"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.

His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.

"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."

"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.

Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.

After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.

Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.

He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.

After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).

You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.

You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.

At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.

However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.

He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.

"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.

"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.

And then realization hits you.

"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.

Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.

And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.

"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.

“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.

"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”

Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.

"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.

“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.

"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.

"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.

"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.

"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.

"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."

Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.

A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.

It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.

The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.

You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.

"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.

Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.

"But you're not good for me."

You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.

The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.

You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.

Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.

Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.

You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.

"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.

And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.

"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.

“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.

"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”

Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.

Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.

There you are, yet again.

Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.

The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.

Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.

Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.

You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.

And then it hits you.

The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.

Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.

And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.

"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.

You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.

"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.

"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”

You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.

After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.

Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.

"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.

"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.

But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.

"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”

Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.

You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.

"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.

"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."

"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.

"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”

You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.

“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.

"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”

And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.

"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.

“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"

You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."

And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.

"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.

You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.

And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.

"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.

You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.

With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.

Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.

But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.

"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.

He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.

After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.

You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.

And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.

"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.

"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.

“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.

"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.

Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.

"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.

“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.

"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.

"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.

"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."

"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"

His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.

You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.

However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.

Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.

"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.

"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.

"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.

Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.

You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.

“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.

"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.

Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.

Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.

"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.

You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.

The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.

It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.

And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.

"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.

Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.

You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.

Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.

And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.

Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.

"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.

It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.

You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.

You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.

But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.

Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.

Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.

He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.

"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.

“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.

Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.

But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.

"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.

"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.

“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.

Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.

"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.

"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.

"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.

"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.

“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.

"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.

“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.

“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”

“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.

You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.

And then he finally starts moving.

A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.

“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”

You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.

His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.

“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.

“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.

You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.

“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.

“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”

A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.

And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.

“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.

“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”

“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.

He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.

You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.

“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.

And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”

You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.

The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.

You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.

"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”

You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.

And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.

Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.

"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.

Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."

You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.

"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.

His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.

Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.

"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.

"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.

Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.

"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.

Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.

"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.

This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.

"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.

Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.

And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.

And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.

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#haikyuu smut #hq!! smut #kyoutani smut #kyoutani kentarou smut #hq smut #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu x female reader #hq!! x female reader #kyoutani x female reader

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chocolateheart · 3 years ago

Text

Door number 12

Title: Door Number 12

Word count: 7937 (I know, I'm sorry)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: A noisy neighbour is bringing you a lot of emotions. What if this bubbling tension and frustration will finally find their way out?

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex (please, wrap it before you tap it), creampie, fingering, handjob, pinning to the wall, clothes tearing, biting, scratching, a lot of kissing, strong eye contact, sex noises, tension, some swearing, noisy neighbour, arguing, stealing food, property damage, I don't know, porn?

Bingo Square Filled: Neighbour AU for @spnmixedbingo

A/N: Yes, another porn. Please, don't judge me, I couldn't help it. I won't say much, that fic just sorta happened. I hope you'll like it! Enjoy babes!

A/N: As always huge huge huge THANK YOU to my dear beta, angel and Queen @winchest09 for giving this piece a look. Love you Tabbs <3 Still, mistakes are mine!

A/N: The gorgeous divider designed by incredibly talented @talesmaniac89 <3

Throwing your bag on the counter along with your keys, a deep sigh left your chest. You numbly looked around your apartment as you began to take off your jewellery. Why did this place always look like a pigsty every time you got back home? Your necklace and bracelet joined your bag when you tossed them to one side as a yawn escaped you.

This day was exhausting, to say the least. Maybe your work wasn’t that demanding but sometimes it was just tiring to the point where you wanted to cry. After shrugging your jean jacket off, your feet took you to the couch and you just collapsed down on it with a pained grunt. Your body was stiff and aching, your head was pounding from pain and as soon as you felt a pillow under it, your will to stay awake had started to fade. You knew you shouldn’t take a nap now as there was still so much left to do today, but for god's sake, it was Friday evening and you had been working for the past 5 days at top speed. An hour of rest was something you definitely deserved.

Without standing up, you lifted your hips to take off your jeans and wrapped yourself in the blanket you always kept on the couch. Relaxing your body with a deep breath, you closed your eyes, already halfway to dreamland. But as soon as you felt yourself drifting completely, a loud sound of guitar suddenly sounded in your ears, making your eyes snap open.

No, not again!

Fisting the pillow, you felt the anger growing as you knew exactly where the loud rock music was coming from; recognising the band as AC/DC. When the volume increased, you hid your head underneath the pillow, desperate to cut off your aching skull from the noise. But it didn’t work, the sound still bleeding through the cushion. It didn’t take you a minute to shoot up on straight legs and pull on your sweats while marching towards the front door.

Mumbling inappropriate words, you entered the staircase for your building and immediately went down; hearing the power of the music increasing with every step you took. You found yourself on a floor below, with your jaw and hands clenched, eyes glued to door number 12 as you approached it. Once you stood in front of it, you lifted one of your fists and hit the hard on the wood a few times, ready to murder the person on the other side. Of course he made you wait till the song ended, causing you to repeat the punching a couple of times.

When the door finally opened, you were fuming with anger, eyes shooting lightnings towards the tall man on the opposite side of the doorstep.

"I swear to god, Winchester," you hissed through gritted teeth, a loud melody almost muffling your words. "If you won't turn that down, I will physically harm you." Your threatening pulled a laugh from him which only acted as another oil drop to the fire.

"Sweetheart you can't do anything to me," he said, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed on this broad chest. "Besides, I don't understand what your problem is." Dean shrugged as if nothing had happened, making your brows shoot up.

"You don't understand?! This music is driving me crazy!" You took a deep breath and while not breaking the strong eye contact you had with him, you started to enlighten him on what exactly was wrong. "I’ve had a terrible day, no, week actually. Everything hurts, my head is pounding and this music is shaking my walls which in turn, is not letting me sleep. So if you could be so nice and turn that off because I swear on what's holy, if I lose my goddamn mind, your name will be the first one I'm gonna mention once they ask me how I ended up in mental hospital." Words just slipped out of you in one unbreakable line and you took shuddering breath after, composing yourself.

However, the smug smirk didn’t leave your neighbour's face; he didn’t give a damn about your monologue. After you finished, he only put a hand on your shoulder and delivered his response.

"It's a Friday evening and we live in a free country. There’s no rule saying I can't listen to loud music, unless it's lights out. What's more, you're the only one who can't stand this, I don't see anyone else coming here to complain, so maybe the problem lies in you, not in me," he simply said, as he flashed you a fake, sarcastic smile and closed the door. But not before saying, "have a nice evening."

You looked up to the ceiling, asking for patience but the frustration and anger were huge. You growled, kicked Winchester's door with your socked foot and cursed, feeling pain going from your toes to the tibial bone.

On your way back to your apartment, you were mumbling out every possible, offensive name that came to your mind when you thought about that green eyed man. Your relationship had been heated ever since he moved into the building. He made your blood boil. Loud music, meetings with his friends, watching movies on full volume on his surround speakers after dark in the middle of the week, noisily cooking at midnight; even his one night stands apparently had an unfulfilled opera career.

You were having a battle with Dean, on average, twice a week. Knowing you weren’t the only one who couldn’t stand his behavior, you asked others for help, but Dean’s charm was way bigger of an opponent than you had expected. He could just use a sweet smile, say a few, flirty words with this deep voice and Ann from the end of the hall would walk on wobbly legs with stupid smile on her face for the next four days.

You couldn’t really blame her, the man was ridiculously attractive but you were looking past it. Dean was an annoying asshole and the only reason you had not yet clawed out his eyes was the fact that visiting the jail wasn’t exactly a wooing thought.

Shutting your door behind you, you leaned against it and ‘Sweet Child O’ mine’ came on. You growled once again, hit your wooden barricade with your head and looked down, trying to find calmness in your floor. Once you stopped radiating fury, knowing that the person below won't let you rest for at least two more hours, you chose the second drawer in your kitchen, searching for painkillers. If you were being made to stay up, you were gonna be productive. Swallowing two aspirin, you decided to clean the place so you could focus on college work tomorrow.

If only you could actually focus on college work.

After waking up at 8 am the next day, you opened the window on your way to the kitchen, craving coffee. It wasn’t normal for you to get up at this hour on the weekend but your finals were coming and you had way more work than you expected.

Thankfully, the weather outside was pleasant; the sun was already shining, creating morning shadows and the soft wind streamed inside your apartment, tickling your ankles as you sat at the table, eating breakfast. The smell of spring made you smile, always bringing back good memories. After the meal, you didn’t bother to change your pajamas for the actual clothes and you just took the laptop to start working on your college sheets. You were sitting with one of your legs bent, heel leaning on the chair, messy bun on your head, sipping on the second coffee while listening to the birds singing happily outside. Words were flooding out of you, making you feel certain that it wouldn’t take you long to be done with your essays. But that blissful moment was cut short when a loud rumble of a car’s engine resonated under your building, causing you to jerk in your chair and almost spill your drink.

Recognizing it straight away, you looked up, trying your best to not get angry again but as the sound of his loud engine revving l continued, you smacked the table with your palm and stood up. As you leaned on your window sill and gazed out, you spotted black, slick Chevrolet with the driver's door, trunk and hood open. Tools were scattered around the vehicle, a jean clothed leg was sticking out from the inside and you greeted your teeth, knowing who that was.

“Hey!” you yelled out, not caring if probably half of the residents could hear you. “I’m trying to study here!”

Dean peeked out and up at you, smiled and got out of the car, leaning his elbow on the hood in a nonchalant way.

“Good morning to you too,” he said and flashed you the oh-so-charming smile.

“It would be good if you didn’t interrupt it with your loud junker,” you spat back, leaning on the window frame and smiled when his face fell; he hated it when someone insulted his Baby, and you were very much aware of that. “Now, could you please lower your generic volume because I have a lot to do and you’re the last thing I want to deal with today.”

“Nobody tells you to. I’m minding my business, you go mind yours, I ain’t stopping you.” He gestured towards you with his grease covered hand.

“No, but your car is making noise that shakes all the dishes in my cabinet.”

He just shrugged and you narrowed your eyes, seeing that he didn’t care about whatever your problem was. “Then I suggest closing the window.”

After saying that, he dived inside the vehicle and seconds later you heard the strong twang of a guitar. Again. This man was very successful in making you hate rock music. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, stopping yourself from throwing a flowerpot at him; only because it was a very nice pot and you were emotionally attached to it.

“I need fresh air! I’m not gonna close the window! Turn that off!” you screamed, but he only frowned and pointed to his ear.

“Sorry sweetheart, can’t hear you!” You could see the smile dancing on his lips and you really wanted to break something on his head. “The music is too loud!”

Clenching your jaw you gave up. Another defeat, but it wasn’t the war you lost; it was just a battle and he was yet to feel your comeback. Showing him your middle finger, you closed the window and went to the bathroom, not being able to hear the soft chuckle that left him.

Maybe to an outsider, Dean’s behavior wasn’t such a big deal, but the longer he acted like that, the more annoying and tiring it was becoming. You couldn’t focus on basic activities because he was giving you a headache in various ways and for some reason, you couldn’t just talk it through with him. Every attempt at trying to get to an understanding with him, ended up with a fight.

Winchester was just a pain in the ass.

Thankfully, he vanished before noon; his car was gone and there was a blissful silence that you made the most of, and finished the majority of what you had to do.

Surrounded by papers and books, you were sitting down on your fluffy carpet, leaning back on your couch, typing away on your laptop. Glancing at your clock again, you frowned. It’s been almost 85 minutes since you ordered pizza; your stomach was rumbling, unhappy with the fact of still being empty. Finding your phone, you dialed the pizza parlor’s number once again. Standing up, you stretched your muscles and looked outside, watching the sunset sky as you waited for someone to pick up. Finally, the lady’s voice spoke to you down the line, asking you how she could help.

“Hi, I made an order from you and I still haven’t received it? It’s been over an hour,” you explained politely, scratching the back of your head.

You didn’t like situations like that; delay was understandable, but it had been way too long. However, you hated to call someone out, you never wanted to make someone’s job harder than it already was. Giving your address to the lady so she could check where your food was, you spotted the black vehicle under the building and your brows shot up. He was home and it was still quiet; it wasn’t normal.

“Miss, the system says your order was delivered and we have a confirmation of receipt.” You frowned hearing her words as what she said was impossible.

“Are you sure? There was no delivery here.”

“Yes, I’m positive. It says someone picked up the order twenty minutes ago.” Pinching your nose, you took a deep breath.

“Could you check the address precisely, please? Maybe your driver made a mistake?” you suggested being already sure someone else got your food.

“Rosenhouse Street, building 4, apartment 12,” she read and the last number made you flinch.

“Apartment 20,” you corrected her, but she denied.

“No Miss, the order was picked up by apartment 12.” And just like that the level of your anger reached three digits in a second.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you murmured and disconnected the call without a goodbye, already storming halfway across your place, getting ready to leave.

Slamming the door, you took a very well known path downstairs and you banged on number 12 as soon as you stood in front of it. Feeling the urge to punch the person who was supposed to open, you inhaled deeply, clenching your teeth. Just... keep it cool, Y/N.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” you growled the second Dean came into your view in his domestic clothes, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.

“Whoa, what?” he tilted his head with an uncomprehending look.

“Listen,” you pointed a finger at him. “Loud noises, annoying car, your mean behavior, fine, okay. Screw it. But stealing food? That is childish. Can you go any lower?!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he said with a smile dancing on his lips. “What food?”

“My pizza,” you muttered through your teeth.

“Oh, right!” He smacked his forehead, acting like he just now understood. “Yeah, pizza was great.”

“You stole it!” you exclaimed, a little too high pitched.

“No I didn’t,” Dean stated, giving you a small, I-know-better smile.

“Yes, you did. I ordered it and you just pocketed it!” You really wanted to stamp your foot like a little girl to tick your fury.

"No sweetheart, I didn’t," he said, crossing his arms and straightening his back so he could tower over you, making you look up. "The guy came in with pizza, said he's supposed to bring it here, so I paid for it and ate it."

"Oh! Because it's normal to pay for the food you didn’t order and keep it to yourself. And stop calling me sweetheart!" You puffed out irritated, making him smirk.

"You're cute when you're angry." Your face fell and you felt your palm itching. What would he do if you slapped him?

"Dean," you warned him but he chuckled.

"No, seriously." He reached to your forehead, wanting to brush it with his finger. "You have this cute, little wrinkle in the middle-"

"Don't touch me." You smacked his hand away and pointed a warning finger straight into his face. "One more action like this and you're gonna regret it," you growled out and walked away.

"So it's threatening now, huh?!" he called after you, coming out to stand in the hall.

Before you stepped on the stairs, you turned around with such a force, that your hair flipped over one of your shoulders and you showed him your middle finger. Hearing his low laugh bouncing on the wall, you scoffed annoyed as you stomped loudly going back upstairs. You swore that if you were supposed to become a murderer one day, that this man was gonna be victim number one. This whole 'lets annoy her' process would be great fuel for you to slice that slender throat of his.

Shutting the door again, you walked into the kitchen, dived in the fridge and decided to stuff yourself with pancakes. Screw Dean and his pizza, you were not going to give him satisfaction with ordering anything else tonight.

“So, he’s a confident man,” Jo stated after you told her about Winchester’s behavior.

You came to Harvelle's to grab something for Sunday dinner; they had the most delicious menu in the whole town and no one could change your mind. You were sitting with a blonde girl at the table, outside their restaurant, sipping on some light drinks Ellen had prepared for the two of you. Ash was already working on your meal in the kitchen while Jo was taking her break so she could sit with you and listen about your neighbour under the floor. It took you way longer to describe everything and you felt kind of bad for that. You weren’t the type who whined about such things and forced friends to hear about your bullshit, but now you were desperate to get it all off your chest.

“Confident asshole,” you corrected her, “I just wish he could finally get his ass kicked, you know? I can’t live with this man! He’s an arrogant, offensive, little, annoying dickhead!” you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

After a few seconds of silence, you looked up at Jo. She was watching you, clearly trying not to smile; her lips were twitching and small dimples had already appeared. You knew her long enough to know that she was all ready to tease you about this whole situation.

“What?” you barked at her and she lifted her hands in defense.

“Nothing!” She shrugged. “Just, your relationship with him seems to have been… rough since the very beginning.”

“It is! I really wanna punch him!” Jo lifted her brows, a smile breaking on her face.

“Just punch him?” The suggestion was shining in her eyes and your shoulders fell down at the subtext.

“Jo!” she started giggling when she heard your resigned tone. “Just because I’m having a heated exchange with a hot guy doesn’t mean that I wanna fuck him!”

“Oh, so you think he’s hot?” she asked innocently, taking a sip from her glass.

“Yes, but he’s an idiot and I would never let him in my panties, come on,” you scoffed as you rolled your eyes. The last thing you would ever do was having sex with this man.

“Sure.”

And you knew Jo didn’t believe you. To be honest, if you thought about it really, really hard, you weren’t sure if you believed yourself…

The door opened and Ash came out with a smile, your food packed in a thermal box.

“There you go, girl. We do not accept any complaints,” he said, winking at you and you chuckled, taking the meal from him.

“Thanks, Ash.” He saluted you and vanished as quickly as he appeared. You glanced at your phone laying on the table and sighed seeing the time. “Okay babe, I’m gonna go. School’s calling and I bothered you enough anyway.”

“Oh stop it, you’re not bothering me, don’t be stupid,” she said smiling, and hugged you tight. “Text me when you get home.”

“Sure thing.” You winked and walked backwards, watching her disappear inside the RoadHouse.

Smiling to yourself, you turned around and crossed the street. At first your thoughts were filled with Jo who could always put you in a good mood but then they gradually transitioned into someone else.

You didn’t know if it was your overworked system or what Jo had teased you about that caused Dean to stick inside your mind, but you wanted to scream; it was like he had nested in there. Not only was he disturbing your living space, but he was now invading your mental space as well. What’s more, it wasn’t exactly hard to not think about him in a nasty way, and you hated it. The truth was that he was attractive from his fluffy hair to his toes, and more than once you had caught yourself daydreaming about his hands and mouth on you.

You couldn’t help it. The way he looked was not fair and Jo made you realise that if not for his attitude, you would have slept with him a long time ago. Thankfully, in the moments you felt weakness for him, he was doing something that pissed you off to the point where you wanted to bite his head off.

You really wanted to get even with him, you had to bounce the ball. The need to bite back was so big that you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the paint store. The bulb in your head flickered on and a devil smile angled your lips. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe it was childish, maybe it was crossing the line, but you had suffered enough thanks to this jerk.

Buying one can of pink chalk paint, you were muting your common sense that was currently shouting at you. As the saying goes - you only live once. He wanted a fight? You were going to fight. He started to play a strong hand? You were going to do the same. He thought playing with you like that was fun? Well, you were gonna have some fun too. Besides, he wouldn’t realise immediately that the paint would easily wash off, but seeing him panic thinking that his car had been defaced was revenge enough.

With a few last strokes of a paintbrush, you were finished. Straightening your back, you looked down at your work and smiled, satisfied with pink flowers you had drawn on the black surface. They were a nice contrast and you really liked the shape. In all honesty, it kinda burned you to paint this four wheeled beauty, but it wasn’t your fault her owner was a douchebag who deserved a lesson.

The impala was parked in her usual spot, next to the building that was mostly asleep. There were no cameras and due to the late hour, the chance of someone spotting you was small. Besides, you were just a hooded figure, no one would recognise you anyway even with the dim light from a lonely lantern. It was risky, but you were too far gone in your revenge to care. It had been done and you wished you could see Dean’s face in the morning.

Gathering your things you looked around, checking to see if there was anyone you should avoid and you got back to your apartment. After closing the door, you took off your clothes, staying only in leggings and a t-shirt, and decided to make some tea. You had this weird energy bubbling inside of you and it would be a waste to not use it on college papers. Getting comfortable on your couch you started going through materials for one of your projects.

Not expecting any visitors, you jumped slightly while hearing a rapid knocking on your door an hour later. You frowned and stood up, finishing your tea on your way to the entry. What you saw on the other side almost made you smile like an idiot. Dean was boring into you with his eyes; if looks could kill, you would surely be a beautiful corpse by now. His chest was rising and falling heavily, jaw clenched to the point his cheek was twitching and you could see the slight blush coloring on his face. He was wearing his leather jacket but was also in sweats so you assumed he was about to make a quick grocery run or something.

“What the hell?!” he growled at you before you could say a word. Ohhh, he was angry.

“What?” You shrugged innocently, ignoring the weird chill that ran down your spine after hearing the vibrations of his tone.

Dean took a deep breath, doing his best to not shout out. “I wanted to go get some beer and burgers, but guess what. Someone screwed up my car. And you know what? I think it was you.”

He pointed a finger at you, holding keys in his hand. You laughed and leaned on your doorframe, ready to confront him. Satisfaction already tickled your insides, but there was one thing that you had to admit - he was hot when he was angry.

“You really think that I have nothing better to do than mess up your car?” you asked, amused by his flaring nostrils.

"Don't you fucking dare play with me like that," he said firmly, not wanting to yell. "Do you know it's property damage? You broke a law and I can easily get you in trouble."

He was fuming with anger and you were sure that if it was possible, there would be smoke coming out of his ears. You smiled and stood your ground, finding it adorable how he thought he had anything useful against you.

"You have nothing on me. No proof that I was the one who defaced your car," you started, taking two steps to stand inches away from him. "Call the cops and I'm gonna tell them all about the nuisance, the stealing, manipulation and manifestations of aggression all coming from you.”

You stared straight into his eyes, a smart smile not leaving you even for a second; feeling confident in your words. Maybe he had a point, but you weren’t empty handed. You could get punished for what you did and so could he.

“What is your problem, Y/N?!” he asked, pinching his nose, clearly irritated with you. “You keep whining, making problems out of nothing and now painting my damn car?”

“You’re not letting me live in peace!” you raised your voice. “Your loud music, loud car, loud tv, loud you in general! I can’t sleep, I can’t study, I can’t do anything because you’re always there to disturb me!”

“Then leave!” he suggested, raising his tone as well. You were taken aback; lifting your brows you blinked a few times. Was he joking?

“Leave?! Are you kidding me now?! This is my home and just a friendly reminder, I was in here first so maybe you should back off!”

“But you’re the only one having a problem with me!” he yelled, spreading his arms, highlighting the obviousness of his argument.

“Because you’re a manipulative ass! You use your charm, this fucking smile, your shining eyes, and nice language, and the whole building is yours! Even Ian from the 4th floor and he doesn't even like people!”

“Ian is a cool guy!”

“Good!”

You took a breath and opened your mouth to say something more but no words came out. Again, you were convinced that there was no way to come to an agreement with this guy. Further arguments were pointless. Looking at him you shook your head and brushed your hair to the back. The soft smile and look you gave him next, made him frown a little.

“You know what? Fuck you,” you said simply and went to close the door, but his retort didn’t let you.

“You wish.”

Freezing, you locked your eyes with his and in a split second, something shifted in the air. The atmosphere got thick and the tension you had been building for months, now came into play, kinda taking you both by surprise. Dean felt it too, you could see his expression changing. He was trying to read you, trying to understand what was buzzing between you. A part of you wanted to explain it, to show him that you already knew it was sexual tension saying ‘hi’, but as soon as you realised that, you swallowed and forced your rational mask back on.

Shaking off the urge to take steps towards him, you scoffed and sending him one last look, you shut the door without saying anything. Taking two deep breaths, you leaned your forehead on the wooden barricade and closed your eyes.

There was no way in hell you would give in and break. He had everyone else in his fist, but not you. The only person that didn’t fall under his spell, the only one that didn’t let your craving inside take better of you. Dean was still your enemy and a pain in the ass; it was a matter of honour and dignity to stay away.

However, soft knocking made your eyes snap open. No. Darting your head from the door you looked at it, knowing who was behind it but that didn’t even register when you pulled on the door-handle. Dean was supporting his body on his arms that he had placed on both sides of your door, blocking the way. He was looking at you intensely, his breathing quicker than moments ago.

You could see the exact second he made a decision. You knew he was going to do something he shouldn’t and yet, you let him close the gap between you and crush his mouth to yours, cupping your cheeks at the same time. The force he hit you with made you take steps backwards, encouraging him to come in and turn you around so you could unconsciously close the door. His grip was firm, long fingers digging in your neck as hot lips forced yours apart. But your stubbornness caused you to push him away, breaking the connection.

The look you exchanged was a mix of emotions; hate, passion, frustration, lust, confusion, hesitation. This was something completely new for you; needing him was unfamiliar, strange, but at the same time stronger than anything you had felt before when it came to Dean. There was this quiet voice telling you that it was already too late; you tasted it and you wanted it, obviously. The other voice was louder, trying to make you aware of how messed up it's gonna be after, but somehow you didn’t want to listen. Not this time.

"Fuck it."

Saying that, you approached Dean and gripping him by the back of his neck, you pulled him down for a kiss. It was sloppy and deep, all teeth and tongues. He inhaled through his nose, bending down when your nails clawed at his skin. Grabbing you by the waist, he used a little pressure so you walked backwards. You didn’t expect to be pushed against the wall and a surprised gasp escaped you when your back hit it. Looking up at Dean, you noticed how his hungry eyes flickered over your figure and a cocky smirk formed on his face. You mirrored his expression and lifted your chin, so you could suck in his lower lip, biting on it softly. His response was immediate and fierce; he pressed his body to yours, pinning you to the wall completely, kissing you even deeper than before. The heat flooded you, making your cheeks burn and a sweat break.

You moaned and that seemed to spur him on because his hands started travelling all over your body. Doing the same, you aimed for his jacket, pushing it off his broad shoulders so it could land on the floor. The thought of finally discovering what was under his clothes took over your brain and you started to pull on his t-shirt, hazed and eager. But Dean grabbed your wrist and pinned it next to your head, not letting you undress him. You twisted and tugged, trying to break free, but he slid his fingers between yours and you instinctively clenched your palm.

“Don’t fight,” he breathed out, leaving your lips as he dropped to your neck, letting you take a much needed breath.

Leaning your head back you gave him the access to your throat where he licked and sucked, french-kissing your flesh. Your knees buckled a little when his hot lips closed on your pulse point, sending shivers down your spine as his stubble prickled you. Feeling his second hand sneaking under your shirt, you held your breath and jerked on the skin to skin contact. He wasn’t delicate; his long fingers were squeezing and digging, a firm touch making it all the more intense. Using your free hand you fisted his hair, pulling on it. Dean purred, nibbling on your flesh, making your eyes roll. It was like playing tennis, back and forth; you had an answer to each other's movements.

The hunger inside you was growing fast; you were getting more and more impatient and being caged by Dean only made you feel limited. So, naturally, you rebelled, trying to take control; with Dean it was always a competition. But your attempt only caused him to press his body more, his knee coming between your legs, making it harder for you to move. The thin material of your leggings was a weak protection to his touch and you whined when your sensitive area met his thigh. Fidgeting even more, you made him chuckle.

“Stop fighting,” he whispered into your ear as he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.

Growling, you turned your head and sunk your teeth into his neck, tasting sweet and salty. Dean hissed and backed away, looking down at you with a surprise in his eyes, brows slightly furrowed. You smiled and angled yourself to speak against his lips.

“Don’t act like you don’t like a fight, Winchester.”

The suggestion was clear and he seemed to understand. Your relationship was already a ticking bomb so why not have a little fun?

The challenging look you gave him was a last jolt and his mode switched. Before you could do anything, he kissed you firmly, letting go of you just to grab on the front of your shirt. Pulling with two hands Dean ripped the fabric in half, revealing your torso, making you smile a devil’s smile. He shook his head in disbelief that you were actually going along with it and grinning, he attacked your jaw. Scraping it with his teeth first, then kissing and going down passed your neck, to your collarbone. Bending his knees so he could reach lower and lower, he proceeded to shrug the destroyed clothing off you and focus on your breasts. Placing sloppy kisses on the curves, Dean moved his hands on your back and unclasped your bra. As soon as it was gone, he sucked in one of your nipples, causing you to arch your chest. Pulling his hair, you grabbed the back of his head, letting him know you enjoyed his work.

Every time his lips touched you, they left burning spots and you could feel yourself getting wetter. Not holding back anymore, you started to roll your hips, seeking the friction his leg could give you. Still playing with your boobs, he caught your hips and added the power to your moves, dragging a moan from you. Glancing down, you spotted the bulge in his sweatpants and realised he was still wearing too much clothes.

“Take that fucking shirt off,” you panted out, grabbing on the piece of clothing on his back.

This time he allowed you to do what you needed, lifting his arms to make your task easier and the second his chest was bare, you used your nails to leave red lines, making him grimace from pain before he kissed you. Caressing his newly exposed body, you felt firm muscles of his strong arms flexing. He wasn’t a gym type of guy, he was soft in some places but firm and strong in general, and that turned you on to the point your stomach flipped.

Suddenly, he pushed on your hips until your butt touched the wall behind you and pulled away from you, straightening himself. You looked at each other, panting and flinching in anticipation. Keeping the eye contact, Dean cupped your face, brushing his thumb over your swollen lips and slowly slid his hands down your body. You swallowed hard when he hooked his fingers behind your waistband and pulled your leggings down, crouching in front of you.

With a thumping heart you looked down at him, meeting his dark eyes watching you as he kissed your knee, your thigh, your inner thigh; his hands travelling up your legs, leaving goosebumps. You shivered when his hot breath hit your still clothed core. He placed a kiss on your damp panties, making your pussy clench and stopped. Leaning his forehead on your lower stomach, he tried to remain self-control, breathing strongly to calm himself down... and he failed. This whole situation was too much and he had wanted it for way too long to stop now.

Shooting up, he claimed your lips, driving his fingers inside your briefs at the same time. His digits went through your folds, gathering slick and found your clit, making you gasp into his mouth.

“Yeah? Right here?” he whispered and you sucked the air in through your mouth when he drew a circle, pressing harshly on your little nub.

Feeling him smiling, you clung to his neck, keeping him close when he started to make circles on your button. Moaning laughs escaped you, mixed with short breaths as you felt fire filling your veins, tickling sparks running from your clit to every nook of your system. For a moment you lost yourself in the feeling, but your brain woke up when he nudged you, rubbing his dick on your leg.

Opening your eyes, you locked them with his, tracing your palm down his chest and stomach. Somehow, you managed to turn you both around so he was by the wall. You didn’t care about teasing him through his pants so you pushed your hand inside and grabbed his hard shaft. Dean jerked and choked on his breath; the whole foreplay made him ridiculously sensitive.

You smiled satisfied and began to pump him, making his head fall back on the wall. His exposed neck was shining with sweat, throat moving as he swallowed hard. Your biting kink was begging for you to bite him, but the view was too good to not watch. His breathing quickened along with your strokes, his jaw flexing when he opened his mouth to chug. A thick vein popped out on the side of his neck, a guttural whine coming from him when you rubbed your thumb on his tip. Finally, you gave in and closed your lips on his jaw, light stubble pricking your lips. Dean turned his head and palming yours he brought you in for a kiss but you broke it fast, having enough.

"Come on," you said, taking his hand and leading him to your bedroom.

Not being able to stay away from each other, you stumbled towards the room, kissing and laughing, getting rid of the rest of the clothes on your way. Hitting the bed you let yourself fall on it, pulling Dean behind you. He hovered above you, using his tongue to play with your nipples as you both climbed up to the headboard. Adjusting the pillows beneath you, you felt his body pressing down, arms sneaking under yours as he kissed you deeply. Rolling his hips, he drove his cock between your folds, poking your clit and you automatically lifted your lower body up on your heels, feeling the electricity running through you. Dean bit down on your lip and pulled on it hard with his teeth, smiling when you hissed.

Without thinking much you just reached between your bodies and guided his cock to your entrance, making him freeze. The look he gave you was a mashup of a question and disbelief, and all it took was your evil smirk. You felt him fisting the sheets under you and with one, mild thrust he slid inside of you. Arching your back you inhaled, digging your fingers into his shoulders. He was stretching you; your walls fluttered around him when he bottomed out, making the two of you give silent moans, your voices stuck in your throats from intensity.

Watching you, he began to move, making you both more and more comfortable with the feeling. Gradually, his pace increased and so did the noises. Your breathy moans and growls filled the room, mixing with the sound of skin slapping on skin as Dean's hips waved between your thighs, faster and faster. New layers of sweat covered your bodies as the temperature increased; you felt the omnipresent, pleasurable burning.

Dean kept the rhythm, only stopping for just for a moment to kiss you. Not letting the opportunity pass, you pushed on him and flipped over so you were on top. Looking at you with a smirk, he palmed your asscheeks as you sinked down on him, continuing the activity.

The passion and sensuality made your head spin; Dean’s lustful eyes devouring you alive weren’t helping. You dragged your nails on his flesh again, making him hiss between the sounds. It wasn’t easy to breathe, to think or control yourself; your body started working by itself, speeding up, making you bounce on him while leaning your hands on his chest for support. Dean couldn’t decide where to touch, what part of you he should grab next; his hands were everywhere. Wrapping his fingers around the back of your neck he sat up, changing the angle and gave you this eye-rolling kiss. This asshole knew what he was doing.

A new position allowed you to only roll your hips and you laid back, grabbing Dean’s ankle to make your moves more fluent. He took a handful of your ass, helping you, watching himself sliding in and out of you, growling in pleasure. Tangled together you moved in sync, matching the other’s moves, grinding to empower the sensation. Feeling the coil tightening in your stomach, your head hung back and you exhaled, wailing quietly. A hand flattened on your back and Dean violently pulled you up, pressing your forehead to his. With closed eyes, panting against each other's mouth you chased both of your deliriums. Your pussy fluttered, your nails dug into his neck as you clasped it; the feeling started to overwhelm. The way Dean was moaning and clinging to you made it clear that he felt the same.

Your strength was fading and you found yourself slowing down. Dean’s attempts to continue were in vain as he was becoming weak too, exhaustion and his upcoming release taking over him.

“Y/N,” he warned you and you opened your eyes, looking at him when he reached between you. “I’m gonna-” you kissed him, cutting him off, tugging on his lip with your teeth.

“Stay inside,” you whispered, watching the surprise flash through his features.

The serious, assuring look on your face made his eyes roll back and the noise he made, clamped your stomach. Using your last strands of your power, you sped up, Dean joining you by hitting the right spot inside you. His fingers found your clit again, rubbing on it fast and you moaned loudly, feeling your muscles tightening.

A few more strokes, a few more moves and the crushing wave of pleasure hit you; your inner walls pulsated, squeezing Dean’s cock as you grabbed firmly on his neck, holding on for dear life. His thrusts went more erratic but also were more powerful; he was pounding inside you slow but hard, putting his forehead between your breasts. You were shaking and his breath fanning over your tummy only added more goosebumps.

Then you felt his arms wrapping around you and he hugged you tight. Pulling you close, Dean thrusted for the last time and with a low, throaty groan he stilled; his cock throbbing inside you, allowing you to milk him as you were still coming. The two of you were shivering, entwined in each other, panting and sweaty. Your heart was hammering and you could feel Dean’s galloping as well.

After calming down a bit, he let go of you and fell back on the bed, hitting the pillows with a sigh. Licking your lips, you looked down at him and smiled, seeing his eyes sparkling with joy and bliss. He laughed, caressing your thighs and then pulled you down for a kiss. It was sweet and soft, without tongue, just lips brushing yours; completely different then those earlier.

Oh, so he could be gentle too.

Cupping his face, you pecked his mouth a few times and then rolled off of him, standing up to make a quick run to your bathroom to clean yourself, leaving the door open.

"Hey!" you heard him yelling not even two minutes later, after you splashed your face with cold water. "Is it weird that I wanna cuddle?!"

You smiled on his words, shaking your head. Asshole also appeared to be a softie cuddler. Can this evening be any weirder?

"Yes!" you yelled back, laughing as you put down the cloth you were using to dry yourself.

"Cool!" he announced and then changed his tone, "I don't care."

Chuckling, you turned the light off on your way out and grabbed a random, oversized t-shirt from your drawer to put it on, letting it slip from one of your shoulders. Dean was making himself comfy in your bed, watching you carefully with his arm under his head and a stupid grin on his face.

"What?" you asked as you climbed on the bed, joining him under the covers.

"Nothing," he shrugged and shifted so you could fit in, resting your head on his chest.

Throwing your arm over his middle, you hugged him as his fingers came to trace the skin on your shoulder. A comfortable silence fell over you as you cuddled, enjoying the warmth, but you knew his mind was running, just like yours.

You didn’t like this tendency of yours to overthink, but the current situation was not only unexpected but also confusing. What now? Lovers? Relationship? Friends with benefits? Enemies with benefits? Because, you had to stay honest, if he did something that would piss you off, no matter how good he was in bed, you would still punch his perfect nose.

"I'm sorry." His words surprised you, detaching you from your thoughts. "For being a noisy neighbour."

You could hear the genuine guilt in his voice and that immediately made you feel like a bitch, so you said the first thing that came to your mind.

"I'm sorry for screwing up your car," you mumbled and quickly regretted it.

"Ha! So it was you!" His victory voice made your eyes roll and you poked his side, annoyed by the fact he dragged a confession from you so easily.

"But if it makes you feel any better, the paint is made of chalk so it’ll easily wash off," you said, unable to help the silly smile that spread across your face when you saw the relieved but shocked expression that he wore.

“Well played,” he chuckled, the sound rumbling under your ear which you found oddly comforting. So you snuggled more, melting into the intimacy.

You had to look the truth straight into the eye; maybe he did infuriate you like no other but there was something else. A pull, an urge to blow off the constant steam forming between you. You wanted him and something was telling you that from now on you won't be knocking on door number 12 just to fuss about loud music.

And once Jo finds out, you wouldn’t hear the end of it.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :) Feel free to leave some feedback. ASKs and DMs are open, don’t be afraid to message me. Every word from you is gold <3

Tag list is open! :)

If something is not working, you weren’t on the tag list even if you wanted to, you can’t send an ask or you didn’t receive the notification about me tagging you in any of my fics, please contact me in DM’s.

Tag list: @deanwanddamons @jay-and-dean @katehuntington @winchest09 @talesmaniac89 @roonyxx @bunkerconfessions @akshi8278 @snffbeebee @lady-pswrld @rvgrsbrns @polina-93 @teresa-67 @alwayskeepfightingsweetheart @mrspeacem1nusone @flamencodiva @cutiecowgirl @waywardbaby @flashxspn @lyarr24

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hwangsies · 4 years ago

Text

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good”

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

November

“fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently”

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

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taglist: @kpopscape @oopsie-whats-this @zhaqifa @synnocence @changlix-mp4 + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

#kpopscape #skz #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids #changbin #seo changbin #seo changbin smut #changbin smut #zephyr

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