#like its still full of people complaining about the monetization of the game

[catshavefeelings]

I hate the overwatch tag on tumblr. I just wanna look at women. Am I asking too much

[askmerriauthor]

regarding pokemon sleep, it looks like you’re just looking for things to complain about. it’s designed to be this chill thing you check on during the day and leave running at night. to play it, all you have to do is sleep and feed your pokemon. no one’s telling you you to have to be the very best at it or pressuring you into paying for stuff, let alone the game itself.

If I was just looking for things to complain about, I'd still be out here whinging over Pokemon Cafe's delightfully charming art style being absolutely wasted on a junk puzzle game instead of a full RPG or cozy slice-of-life Sim.

Regarding this post here.

Hi, I'm MerriAuthor. Apparently we haven't met because anyone who follows my blog would know that I've worked in game development well on 20 years now. I've worked across the industry from little nobody indie houses, to overseas gacha-fodder, to big ol' AAA major studios. Video games and their design are a big part of my life and, boy howdy, do I have some FEELINGS about the direction the industry as a whole has gone in as the years go by. Especially in regards to the predatory monetization of gaming and how it actively preys on children, uninformed parents, people with addictive behaviors, people with hyper-competitive personalities, and similar behavioral traits solely for the purpose of making money at their expense.

it’s designed to be this chill thing you check on during the day and leave running at night. to play it, all you have to do is sleep and feed your pokemon.

As with the previous person I spoke with on this topic, that is the base function of the game. But it's by no means the design of the game. Pokemon Sleep's entire game play rotation and marketplace are designed around encouraging the Player to interact with it as much as possible within an intentionally limited time frame. Meanwhile, the game's own time scale is such that it expects Players to log hundreds if not thousands of hours of interaction with it. Its own base gameplay loop is a weekly schedule and its shop schedule is monthly. Some Pokemon require a bare minimum of 150 hours of logged sleep to even access. Pokemon Sleep wants you to be in it for the long haul.

It's also based on collection; nearly every facet of the game is listed numerically and with a percentage value or progress bar, which are functions designed to produce urgency to complete them in the Player. Human brains don't like seeing an unfinished goal, especially one represented so overtly as an unfilled progress bar or a percentage value with a decimal. Want to have your favorite Pokemon as your napping buddy but don't want to put in a ton of effort playing the game to boost up your Snorlax's power score? Better hope it's one of the low-tier Pokemon assigned into the lower brackets of the gameplay progression, because otherwise you're never going to see it. Though you could always just fork over some cash. Nearing the end of your week with Snorlax and you're just shy of a milestone you've been aiming the entire week for? Good luck! You can pay money for that extra little boost, and once you've done it you'll resent its absence enough to want to buy it again! Do you want to level up that cutie first Charmander the game gave you at the very beginning specifically to ingrain itself with faux emotional value into your favorite Charizard? Want your Eevee to evolve into one of its most popular Eeveelutions? Want a Lucario, period? You'll need to put in hundreds of hours of consistent sleep to save up enough Sleep Points exclusively toward that goal... or you can just buy access to it immediately, through first purchasing access to the Premium Subscription! A Premium Subscription which, again, doesn't auto-cancel if you delete the app and can't be canceled through the app itself, for all you distracted parents who don't pay attention to fine print and wonder why your kid's game is running up a bill on your credit card each month after the 14-day free period - just long enough for you to have forgotten all about it in the first place. Snorlax wants a specific kind of Berry this week, but none of the helper Pokemon you recruited gather that berry, or they do and are just too low on Energy to manage it? Aren't you lucky! The shop will just sell you solutions to these problems the game itself created specifically to get you to shell out money!

no one’s telling you you to have to be the very best at it or pressuring you into paying for stuff, let alone the game itself.

Here's some screen shots from the game's own app page. Buttons to make purchases and drive interaction - the app store, sleep pass, how many dream shards you have, a prompt to buy more inventory space, your missions, your current goal, the progress meter and rarity values of your Pokemon's sleep styles, your collection and their levels, etc - are all constantly and prominently displayed. The entire first day of actual gameplay in the app is a tutorial explaining how it wants you to do more than just sleep and passively collect to the point that it literally sets a daily schedule of activity for you. The mechanics explanations are so egregiously long that the Professor character literally apologizes to the Player for being so long-winded about it. Oh, an adorable moment of self-depreciation and understanding! How humanizing and encouraging of empathy from the user, done with a cheeky wink and nod. Now that we've softened your emotional state ever so slightly, here's some more microtransaction-driven gameplay elements!

If this was really just a cute little game to idle around with for its own fun, there wouldn't be a cash shop, nor would the game require a consistent internet connection to its servers. The big thing with games like these is that they're not made for the Player's benefit or entertainment. They're made to make the parent company profits. That's it. If the Pokemon Company didn't think they'd make substantial returns on the investment of development, support, marketing, and online distribution costs to put this game out into the world, they never would have made it. That is a core reality of any product put out these days. I just spent this last week helping my studio's marketing and sales team make sales projections for one of our upcoming titles, figuring out how much we could reasonably charge our potential customers literally down to the penny. And the game we're selling isn't even a service with any kind of microtransactions or DLCs. Profits are fundamental in any studio production and, where microtransaction apps are concerned, are the core focus of why the app exists.

If you're perfectly happy with playing Pokemon Sleep as an idle "pop on every once in a while, poke for a few minutes, then forget about and never pay a cent" kind of game? Totally fine, you do you. But understand that Pokemon Sleep doesn't want you as its player and will not cater to your experience. The core gameplay of Pokemon Sleep is already designed to actively degrade into a subpar experience for those who don't pay to play and that rift will only become more pronounced as time goes by. Everything around the cash shop exists for no other reason than to encourage you to use the cash shop. Over time, the gameplay will further contort itself to drive more interaction with and reliance upon the cash shop as the app sheds its non-paying users who just tire of it and move on, instead doubling-down on the lingering, paying users who have already proven themselves a reliable stream of revenue. That is how these things always go and have always historically gone.

There's also the consistently apt adage of "if you're not paying for the product, you are the product". Pokemon Sleep requires an internet connection any time you want to interact with the app - there is no offline mode. Further, the actual fine print in the terms of service (not the bubbly, legally-meaningless assurances put into the game text itself) addresses that it will collect and may share your device information, user ID, and app activity (ie, the schedules, timing habits, and spending habits the game itself has ingrained into its interaction with the Player) for analytics and advertising purposes, and that they're okay with sharing (ie, selling) that information to third parties without naming who those third parties are. And boy, does the game really want you to link your Google, Apple, and Facebook accounts to it as part of its core functionality! Worth keeping in mind as well is that the app requires constant access to your microphone and can pick up sounds as minor as a sheet rustling when you turn over in bed. The game's bubbly, meaningless text assures you that it doesn't save or transfer the snippets of sleep recordings it makes of you each night, but it makes absolutely no assurances whatsoever in the fine print that it's not using your microphone for other purposes. It does, however, point out that it will be making use of your phone's functions even when you're not using the app.

So, yeah, I'll just still be over here not playing Pokemon Sleep and encouraging others to do the same, as well as pay closer attention to the nature of so-called "free to play" games.

[galactic-johnny]

The Mecha Break Playtest is over so here are my mechs that I customized. I was mostly basing them off of my gunpla that sort of reminded me of them. (also some of my thoughts)

First was Narukami (my main <3) where I went with a gundam pharact color scheme. I think this was the best one I did.

For Alysnes I was going for a sort of GM Custom color scheme but I couldn't find a lighter seafoam color so this cyant had to do.

Panther was the first one I did and I tried to go for a titans color scheme.

Inferno has the cannons in each hand so I wanted to go for a Buster Gundam look, but there wasn't a good light brown like the MG version has. (Also its charged attack does a sort of Wing Zero thing where it puts its guns together)

I think for Hurricane I just changed one thing to blue but this is how it turned out.

My second favorite was Welkin, I went with a Stark Jegan type of thing although a Zaku would probably be more fitting with its axe and bazooka loadout.

I did have a pilot but I didn't take a screenshot and I didn't spend a lot time other than giving them a big ass anyway.

Also bonus is the overwatch 1 style global chat where people say a bunch of memes in my screenshots.

The rest is gonna be some of my thoughts but its not really comprehensive and I doubt the developers are really looking on tumblr to gauge people's interest in certain aspects.

If you want a basic idea of the game to me its like armored core 5 mixed with Overwatch (which I was very into). The current playable mechs support several playstyles, I've seen people who really like the flyers, or really love the melee mechs, and theres the turret ones, there are supports, and there are midrange mechs, so I think most people could find one that they like.

I started playing on the first day when they had twitch drop keys and I ended up with 15 hours on the game, I have some concerns with how things will be balanced later and ho they will monetize but overall the game was super fun and there will be a hole in my heart waiting to play it again.

The UI implies that there might be weapon customization which I would like, people also seem to think there will be more PvE in the full release. It a beta and the with the release date apparently looking at 2025 there's probably a handful of major parts of the game that weren't in a state they wanted to show to the public.

I've seen some people complain there's more pilot customization than mech customization, and I get it but the pilot customization is going to be more appealing to a mainstream audience that isn't already super into model kits or armored core and such. Also the 4 ass sliders are what half of the social media posts are about so it seemed to work.

I feel like the game has several factors work against it: mecha still sort of niche, and I imagine its niche for the demographic that is looking for a new hero shooter; it seems to have a very high production value which is good and bad because they're gonna really need to make good money; its a chinese indie developer so they will have to fight the allegations of being CCP spyware from a pinned comment in any reddit thread.

In spite of this the playtest had 50k players on all 3 days of the open beta and it seems to have gotten a good amount of attention on twitter and tikok (note: I do not use either of those regularly I just checked to see what normal people thought of them). It also came out at a good time with its announcement being when armored core 6 was on people's minds.

Final thoughts are I like it and good mecha action games are few and far between but I'm keeping my fingers crossed after Gundam Evolution crashed and burned (although I think everyone likes this more than gundam evolution).

[artificialqueens]

Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 1 (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega

a/n: hey everyone! no ur not getting deja vu, i’m reposting what i have of this fic again just with a few necessary adjustments if u kwam. rip all my notes and lovely comments as i’m going to have chapter 1 deleted after this for obvious reasons, so feel free to still leave me some luv bc i’m ngl, re-jigging two fics is taking it out of me asdfghjklkjhgfds. without further ado may i now present to you strictly au 2: electric boogaloo xo

(this one goes out to the anon who wanted radio 1 DJ Heidi Nina Closet xo)

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

***

8th August 2020

Political correctness gone mad. Or at least, that’s what all the straight, white, 50 year old men have been tweeting. But the TV bosses thought that a same-sex version of the nation’s favourite dancing show would pull the viewers in, at least get some hype going like the good old days. The show’s been going since 2004, Vanessa thinks, as she rolls her neck and looks at the various alleged celebrities opposite them. This is what caused the death of the X Factor, all these sensationalist spin-offs, and now they’re doing the same with this one. She supposes the BBC were intimidated by Dancing on Ice, who had a single solitary same-sex couple on their show and were called out live by H from Steps. How humiliating. She’s only been part of the show for two years; this is her third, but her first one with a partner. She scans her eyes back down the line again, her gaze interrupted as Akeria whispers to her.

“Who you gunning for? I like that goddess, third from the right. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin. Shit, our babies would be beautiful.”

Vanessa pauses, looks at who Akeria’s talking about and snorts a laugh. “Keeks, that’s Asia O'Hara. The chef? She’s been on Saturday Kitchen a couple times.”

“You actually watch that shit?” Akeria side-eyed her.

“Hey, drop the judgemental tone, bitch! It’s easy, chilled-out Saturday morning viewing. Anyway, chefs? Nah. Two left feet and they stomp their way across the dancefloor.”

“It ain’t the dancefloor I’m worried about. I’m more interested in what’s going on in the bedroom,” Akeria wiggles her eyebrows, making Vanessa snort a laugh. Seeing her friend’s expression of disbelief, Akeria rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on, Vanj. You telling me you never thought about it? A lil’ steamy affair? Get the Daily Mail’s tongues wagging?”

“Shut the hell up. You’re awful,” Vanessa laughs long-sufferingly in reply, casts her eyes back down the line of celebrities. Scarlet Envy is at the top- Vanessa knows her, she’s in one of the big soap operas. She’s talking quite earnestly to Yvie Oddly. Vanessa is aware of Yvie only because her niece is obsessed with her Youtube channel. What is it she does again? Gaming walkthroughs? She can’t remember. There’s a tall newsreader with dark hair that Vanessa doesn’t remember the name of but she knows that Jan’s eyeing her up from across the room, so even if she ends up being half-decent and Vanessa gets on well with her Jan will still cut her to make sure she ends up with her as a partner. There’s a black girl with a mane of dark hair and a gap tooth chatting to a blonde woman with glittery makeup, some pretty girls that must be influencers or makeup artists or something (in fact, Vanessa definitely recognises one from Love Island), and Monet X Change. Vanessa definitely knows her, and she’s quite surprised the show managed to net Monet given that most of the singers that appear on the show are usually washed up talent show rejects. Vanessa’s seen some clips of her touring, she knows she’s a good dancer. Maybe she’d be good.

Vanessa takes one final sweep down the line as she sees the producers readying themselves to begin. One, two, three, four…hang on. There’s only eleven celebrities, and unless she’s suddenly lost the ability to count Vanessa knows there’s twelve dancers. Maybe they were going to be more cutthroat than she thought, maybe this would be where they decide which dancers they’re giving partners to and which one they’re cutting. Vanessa nervously shifts in her character shoes as the producers begin their welcome.

As they’re talking, the huge rehearsal room doors burst open and a tall blonde comes rushing through them, dressed in white trainers, a baggy white gym top, and black Nike leggings. She looks on her way to be sweating half of her perfectly made up face off as she runs over to join the other celebrities, sweeping her long, curling-ironed hair up into a bun and apologising frantically as she does so.

“Kiki,” Vanessa whispers to her friend. “Who’s that?”

She feels Akeria shrug beside her. Luckily Monique is standing by her right side and has heard her question.

“Oh, bitch! That’s Brooke Lynn. She presents stuff.”

“What the fuck’s stuff?” Vanessa laughs quietly, not wanting to incur the wrath of the producers by talking over them.

“She did, uh…The Voice. An’ she did some kind of consumer show in the evenings. She does The One Show now. Bunch of boring ass shit, basically,” Monique waves a hand dismissively towards the end, gets distracted by a wink and a small wave across the room from Monet X Change.

“Damn. So they give her all the boring shows to present because they know people will tune in ‘cause she’s hot?” Vanessa muses. It’s just a fact, after all. She’s not been able to tear her eyes away from her since she rushed into the room. Vanessa hopes she’s a good dancer.

“Oop. Here we go already. The Strictly curse claims its first victim,” Akeria overhears her, sticks her tongue out at her as Vanessa bats her on the arm. The sudden movement causes one of the producers to whip round and glare at Vanessa and she immediately drops her arm and fixes him with an easy smile.

When she looks back at Brooke Lynn, she’s hiding her mouth with her hand and her eyes are twinkling at her in a laugh. Vanessa presses her lips together to keep from smiling back.

They all warm up together, even though Vanessa’s already warmed up, but it’s a good chance to see who has potential and who looks more like an octopus out of water with half its limbs cut off. She scans the mirrored wall as she rolls her shoulders in time with the EDM that’s blasting from the speakers. The blonde influencer-looking girl is fucked from the start, Vanessa notes. She’s rolling her shoulders both the wrong way and off-beat. One of the celebrities, the pouty one from Love Island, is already complaining that she’s pulled a muscle. Vanessa makes the executive decision that if she gets partnered up with her then she’s quitting the show and also possibly going on a killing spree in Elstree Studios.

Brooke Lynn hasn’t met her eyes since they caught each others’ earlier. She’s not being weird, it’s just an observation. Vanessa’s, however, have drifted her way a couple of times. Brooke seems to be sailing through the warmup that Jaida’s leading easily, and Vanessa notes how easily she’s managing the split stretches, how she can bend her body almost in half until her head touches the floor. She’s clearly had some sort of dance training before, and Vanessa thinks her good looks would just be a bonus of being partnered with her. She sweeps her gaze across the room again as she stretches out her other leg, her gaze landing on Yvie. She’s bendy, her forehead pressed to the floor as she stretches out and giggles at Scarlet beside her whose body appears to be made almost entirely of cardboard. Vanessa stifles a giggle herself as Jaida starts leading them in squats, hears Monique muttering something to her as she drops to the floor. Vanessa fixes her with a confused face.

“Think you’ve got an admirer,” Monique repeats a little louder, raising her eyebrows and jerking her head behind them to where the celebrities warmed up. Vanessa brings herself up out of the squat, whips her head round to see Brooke looking right at her.

Or rather, her ass.

As Brooke suddenly looks at about six different places in the room in the space of a second and her face turns roughly the same colour as a fire engine, Vanessa turns her head back round, trying to ignore the heat she can feel attacking her own face.

It’s kind of ironic that every year at least one couple is claimed by the Strictly curse and yet the producers still call the process of finding a potential partner “Speed Dating”. The curse is a phenomenon that Vanessa has felt the brunt of and knows all too well- a partner and a contestant, almost every year, end up either falling for each other or falling into bed with each other. It’s natural, she supposes- you can’t spend practically every waking moment of every day pressed up against someone else and not trip and fall onto their dick. However, this is a room full of girls, at least half of whom Vanessa knows are gay as all hell, and maybe this year there’ll be a bit more nuance and obliviousness and just general all-round idiocy.

Looking at the celebrities, she sees Scarlet joke-grinding against Yvie, both of them almost falling over laughing. Maybe everyone will be a little less oblivious than Vanessa has given them credit for.

One of the producers launches into a spiel about how the pairing up process will work. Everyone knows they won’t get properly paired up until the launch show, but this will be more of a chemistry test than a dancing test, he explains, to see who gets on with each other best. Then at the end, all of them will get to write down their top three potential partners.

“After all,” he laughs, “You’re going to be spending a long time together!”

There’s a polite bubble of laughter that pops in the room, and Vanessa feels her stomach explode suddenly with butterflies. What if she gets paired up with someone she doesn’t get on well with at all, never mind someone who can dance? Her mind drifts. Phi Phi’s standing beside her, her face set in a small frown. Vanessa whispers to her.

“Who you got your eyes on?”

Phi Phi doesn’t shift her gaze, and Vanessa follows it. Her gaze lands on the woman with the glittery makeup who’s laughing like a seal at something that gap tooth girl has said and isn’t paying any attention to what the producers are saying. “Anyone with a pulse who’s taking the competition seriously. I know who I don’t want, put it that way.”

Vanessa indulges her in a laugh. Phi Phi has reached the semi-final four times and has never advanced further, and her frustration is starting to show. Vanessa supposes she’s at an advantage here- she’s fresh on the show, she doesn’t have any chips on her shoulder. As she looks around the room, she can see each of the dancers’ past experiences reflected on their faces like battle scars: four-time World Championship finalist Courtney is smiling easily, happy in the knowledge that she won last year and will probably get a dud partner this year, Shea, former West End Choreographer who could literally get given Theresa May and still manage to advance to the finals has a calm exterior, and frowning determinedly is 2018 Latin European champion Vixen, who bowed out early last year with her partner and has expressed very openly and very loudly to everyone who’ll hear her that she’s going for the glitterball this year. In a similar boat is World Cup Freestyle Latin Champion Aja, who was up against Courtney in the finals last year and lost by only a tiny margin of the vote. The girl doesn’t seem bitter, but she’s already got her eyes trained on Monet and has clearly backed her winner already. Crystal is lost in a daydream, classic. To the untrained eye the girl may look as if she couldn’t even do the macarena in time, but the girls know better. Crystal is hard-working, determined, creative, clever, and one of the highest-ranking ballroom and Latin dancers in the country. Vanessa knows that whoever she gets as a partner she’ll be able to mold into something amazing.

Vanessa’s gaze then lands on Plastique. The girl is a fierce dancer and it’s her fifth year on the show already. If she’s nervous, she doesn’t show it. Then again, she trained under Alyssa Edwards so she’s very possibly not felt butterflies in her stomach since the year 2012. Vanessa’s eyes widen a bit as she notices Plastique eyeing up Brooke. She’s going to need to turn up the charm all the way to 100, as Plastique’s reputation precedes her and she’ll be top choice for a lot of the girls opposite.

One by one, the dancers introduce themselves. Vanessa keeps her introduction short and sweet. She doesn’t like to brag about her titles unlike some of the other girls, and she knows that her achievements are outshone by many so she focuses on the fact it’s her first year with a partner instead.

“I ain’t got a track record like Courtney, but I also ain’t got one like Monique either,” Vanessa jokes, her friend nudging her and shouting in protest as the other girls laugh. Monique takes it in good humour though- she’s been an early out for a few years in a row having kept landing Olympic sportsmen with limbs like toy soldiers, so it’s a fair enough comment. Vanessa continues, trying not to let her eyes land on Brooke all that much. “So whoever gets paired with me don’t need to be worried ‘cuz they’re gonna always end up being special to me. My first partner on the show, and the first person I get to experience it with. And I’d be happy to get any of you, because you all look nice and smiley an’ friendly!”

She adds in that last bit to come across as gracious, and it seems to work as the celebrities opposite all smile at her gently and she hears a couple of “aaw!”s thrown her way. She can practically feel Phi Phi, Aja and Vixen all roll their eyes at her, but she doesn’t care. It’s a point in her favour with the girls opposite at least.

After the professionals have all said their piece, the celebrities pipe up. To give them their dues, there are quite a few that Vanessa would be glad to be partnered up with. Peppermint, a TV journalist, seems like she’d be great to gossip with if nothing else, Gigi, the once so intimidating-looking model has got a goofy side that would keep Vanessa sane in rehearsals, and Instagram influencer Blair seems similarly sweet and is so eager to please that it almost hurts. Then Brooke steps forward, her expression the serene calm of a woman who’s used to speaking in front of an audience, and all Vanessa can think about is how much of a point that confident, in-control body language would be in their favour when they took to the floor in week one.

No, not when. If. She’s getting ahead of herself.

“Hey everyone! I’m Brooke Lynn Hytes, uh, I present stuff. I’m basically like Ant and Dec but without the loveable double-act element and the millions of national TV awards clogging up my trophy cabinets and gathering dust.”

Vanessa lets out a snort. The actual joke isn’t even that funny, but Brooke’s delivery was so deadpan and matter of fact that it made the whole thing ten times more hilarious. Akeria turns to face Vanessa, raises her eyebrows and hisses over to her.

“Girl. Any further up her ass and your new nickname is gonna be suppository for the rest of the season.”

“Uh, dance-experience-wise I actually have a fair bit. I did exams and dance shows in high school. I don’t know if I should’ve mentioned that, now you’re all gonna be fighting over me like a pack of zombies,” Brooke laughs. The other girls join in with the laughter and Vanessa shifts from foot to foot. Brooke doesn’t know how accurate she’s just been. Oblivious, she carries on. “So yeah! Good luck to us all. Please don’t tear me limb from limb.”

Another laugh that Vanessa joins in weakly with. Unsurprisingly, Brooke introducing herself to the room has done nothing for Vanessa’s nerves. She has a favourite now, but it’s akin to putting money on a greyhound race- it’s a complete gamble. She tells herself that she can’t pin her hopes on getting partnered with Brooke, even though that thought is a bit like locking a stable door after the pony’s bolted, or whatever the goddamn figure of speech is. As gap-in-teeth-girl who’s standing beside Brooke begins to introduce herself (Heidi’s a Radio 1 DJ, and that explains why her voice sounds so familiar) Vanessa jumps a little as she hears Monique whisper to her out of nowhere.

“Girl, Jesus. Dare you to be less obvious.”

Vanessa narrows her eyes at her as she turns her head. “What?”

“Brooke Lynn,” Monique cocks her head towards the girl in question. Vanessa keeps her gaze steely. “Put your tongue back in your mouth, sis.”

“Oh, like you’ve not got a favourite already,” Vanessa whispers back. She’s got the Monet card she can use if she wants to.

“You know you don’t have to take that partner thing literally, right? You don’t actually have to fuck the person you get matched with,” Monique shoots back, pressing her lips together to stop herself from laughing. Vanessa rolls her eyes.

“You’re being ridiculous. She’s got dance experience, the height difference is good, I could win with her. There’s nothing more to it than that. I’d be happy with any of these bitches.”

Monique raises her eyebrows. “You’re not tryin’ to be Miss World, Vanj, it’s okay to say you wouldn’t kick her outta bed.”

“Okay, so what about Monet? I’m sure the reason that you keep lookin’ all the way down that end of the room is definitely…shit, I don’t know…some sort of eye condition?” Vanessa uses her trump card, smiles and sticks her tongue out at Monique who gives her a little shove and clamps her mouth shut in a pout, knowing she’s been outmanoeuvred. Vanessa tunes back in to the introductions. The Love Island girl introduces herself as Farrah, and she’s pouting and asking the pros not to work her too hard. Vanessa thinks back to what Phi Phi had said. She’ll give the girl some credit. Maybe Vanessa should focus more on who she doesn’t want after all.

The producers start leading girls from their side of the room to the middle so that they form two big vertical lines in front of each other. Vanessa starts in front of Blair, who smiles kindly at her and appears too shy to speak. There’s no time for Vanessa to really attempt to strike up a conversation as they’re all getting shuffled around based on their heights. She watches as Brooke gets moved from in front of Aja, past Shea, past Crystal, and finally given to Jan.

Fuck.

Vanessa shakes the disappointment off. She’s being ridiculous, she knows she’ll get a turn with mostly everyone and the fact that Brooke’s tall, statuesque frame contrasts with her pint-sized self means that she’s a dead cert to get a shot at dancing with her. There’s not many people smaller than her so she knows she’s not going to be leading. This is good, as she’s obviously not used to it. The girls paired up with the smaller celebrities are going to have to work twice as hard.

Blair gets shuffled around to be partnered with Aja, and eventually Vanessa gets Gigi deposited in front of her. She gives her a friendly wave and a pleasant smile, and eventually everyone is paired up- for now. Vanessa looks over at Akeria, notices she’s been given Asia to dance with first. Akeria meets her gaze and gives her a smile that Vanessa doesn’t think she’s going to be able to wipe off her face until mid-June of next year.

As the producers give the girls some time to teach the celebrities an incredibly basic salsa step to start them off with, Vanessa relaxes as she begins talking Gigi through the steps. She’s glad she’s finally getting to do what she loves instead of being consumed by nerves and what-ifs. She knows how to dance and she’s good at it- it’s just a fact- and she knows she’s able to teach things, having helped out with the kids at her dance school when she was younger. To her delight Gigi picks things up quickly, and the two of them are simply dancing the same four basic moves in a loop as they move on to chatting.

“You’re a good teacher! It’s taking some of these other bitches ages,” Gigi laughs, Vanessa giving a guilty giggle at the comment as she notices Jadia, very patiently and very deliberately, walking Scarlet through the steps again.

“See, you wouldn’t think I never had a partner before!” Vanessa beams back at her, twirling around and landing back in Gigi’s hold. To some of the girls it might be a little awkward trying to make small-talk with someone they’ve just met whilst holding one of their hands and having another pressed to their back, but to Vanessa it comes naturally. She notices that Gigi is scanning the room and looking at the other girls. Vanessa knows a searching pair of eyes when she sees one. “You got your eye on a girl?”

“Well, you’d be good,” Gigi says immediately, although how much of that is out of courtesy Vanessa doesn’t know. “Or, I mean. Jaida’s a fierce teacher, and she’s won it before, right?”

Vanessa nods. She knows that Gigi is still holding back the namedrop of the girl she really wants. “But I guess, you know, Crystal’s a talent. It kind of seems like everyone sleeps on her despite the fact she’s got all these trophies and ranks so highly and she does ballroom and Latin. She ever won before?”

“Not yet. She got paired with some stompy politician last year and was an early out, but she made the semis before that,” Vanessa indulges her, although she’s quite sure that judging by the slight blush on Gigi’s face that she’s well aware of where Crystal’s ranked in previous seasons. Gigi seems nice, and she’s complimented Vanessa so she decides to throw one her way too. “You’ve got potential, you could take her to the finals easily. She could do a lot with you.”

“That’s sweet. Thanks,” Gigi smiles, Vanessa giving another twirl just as the producers get everyone to stop and switch round again. Time passes by in steps and twirls rather than minutes, but the variety of people she gets paired with ensures that things don’t become boring. Vanessa gets Scarlet, who steps on her toes about three times and, in her own words, dances like an inflatable waving tube man stuck outside a car showroom, then actress Willam, the one with the laugh like a seal and sparkly makeup and scant regard for the moves she’s been taught, preferring to make Vanessa laugh the whole time. After that she is paired with Jackie, the newsreader she’d noticed earlier. She shows promise but Vanessa does notice Jan’s head bobbing about looking at them from the other side of the room the whole time they’re together like an invasive meerkat so Vanessa does her a solid and talks Jan up a storm. She can’t really focus too much on Jackie, to be fair, because Plastique’s been partnered with Brooke and the two of them are already laughing and hitting it off with each other and Vanessa feels her blood fizz with determination.

Finally, mercifully, Brooke gets led down by one of the producers to stand in front of her, and for a moment Vanessa is tongue-tied. Brooke’s dark green eyes and her gorgeous face are a little intimidating, not that she’s got a crush or anything, and Vanessa feels herself growing shy for a second. But then she remembers that they only have minutes together, and if she wants to be partnered with this girl she’s going to have to up the charm offensive. The producers have been stalking the room like lions with notebooks, recording every laugh and lingering glance.

“Hey!” Vanessa starts cheerfully, fixing Brooke with the winning smile she always used to flash at the judges when she was competing. “I’m Vanjie. Well, Vanessa. Either. Is fine.”

Brooke smiles back at her despite the fact that her introduction was so awkward Vanessa feels like digging a hole in the ground and leaping into it. “Nice to meet you, Vanjie-Well-Vanessa. I’m Brooke Lynn.“

Before Vanessa can feel any more embarrassed at Brooke’s teasing, she takes a little bow and stands ready, her hand held out for her to take. "May I have this dance?”

Vanessa lets out a laugh at the cheesiness of it all, takes Brooke’s hand and stands in hold with her. Their hands seem to fit perfectly together and even though their bodies are still quite far apart Brooke’s hand on her back makes Vanessa feel close to her in a way she’s not felt dancing with any man before.

Monique’s teasing face appears in her mind and Vanessa shakes those particular thoughts away.

“I bet you said that to all these girls,” Vanessa quirks an eyebrow at her, and Brooke tilts her head to the ceiling in thought.

“Uh…no, don’t think so. Just you so far,” she shrugs, and it definitely doesn’t make Vanessa feel special in any way at all.

They start to step and oh shit. This is exciting. This is the first girl that’s properly led her, the first one that the moves have seemed to come so easily to, and Vanessa can feel her heart going like a train as she imagines what she could actually choreograph with a girl like Brooke to work with. She’s a bit quiet as she’s lost in thought, so she cracks an impressed face at the girl opposite her.

“You’re good.”

“Yeah, so are you,” Brooke looks at her a little funny, her face inquisitive. “Hey, how come you didn’t mention any of your accolades? Y'know. World Latin Champion 2016, four-time finalist. That’s a bragging right.”

Vanessa almost loses her steps she’s so shocked. How the fuck does Brooke know about all that? She’s not mentioned it. Brooke can clearly see the shock on her face and a blush hits her cheeks. “That probably sounds weird. I looked you up when I knew I was coming on the show.”

Vanessa laughs, pulls a face at Brooke. “Nah, that sounds even more weird. You’re just digging yourself a hole now.”

Brooke gives an embarrassed giggle, looks up at the sky to avoid Vanessa’s gaze and oh fuck she’s still moving perfectly and she’s not got her eyes trained on her feet holy shit. “No, I mean I looked all the girls up!”

Vanessa bursts out laughing again. The girl’s not helping her case. “Dig, dig, dig, bitch!”

Brooke squeals in protest as Vanessa feels her smile hurt her face. “You know what I mean! Ugh, God. Just answer the question and stop picking on me. I’m a very important celebrity. Don’t you know who I am?”

Brooke’s deadpan sort of humour is killing Vanessa. She tries to get out another jibe through her laugh. “Jesus, I hope that’s not how you normally interview people.”

There’s a pause as Brooke laughs back. Vanessa thinks over her question. “I don’t know. Guess I just didn’t want to come across like a showoff.”

“But it’s just a fact. You’re good,” Brooke shrugs. The praise makes Vanessa’s heart light up.

“An’ I guess I didn’t want the same as you. People fightin’ over me,” she shrugs back, making light of Brooke’s compliment. Brooke pulls a face.

“I don’t know about that, I think I’m going to have to fight off a couple of these girls if I want you,” she comments offhandedly, Vanessa suddenly feeling like she’d been shocked with a tazer. She’d been so focused on trying to charm the partner she wanted that she had no idea the celebrities would’ve been gunning for her too.

“Who wants to be partnered with me?” she asks, thinking retrospectively that she could’ve tried to appear a little less keen.

“Well, Asia’s making a bee-line, I know that much. And Willam was all smiles after she left you. And, I mean, I wouldn’t mind getting you either,” Brooke says, her last comment making Vanessa happier than it should.

“Wouldn’t mind? You’re gonna have to work harder than that,” Vanessa raises her eyebrows, faux-unimpressed. She has to slam her mouth shut at the end of her sentence to avoid tacking on a “baby” to the end of it. Jesus, what is wrong with her?

“You know they give us that card at the end where we write our top three partner choices on it,” Brooke continues. The fact she is trying so hard to come across as nonchalant is making her seem everything but, and Vanessa is loving it. “Hypothetically…would I be on yours?”

“Hypothetically? You might be,” Vanessa grins at her, spins round and misses the look that Brooke gives back at her. Is this flirting? She needs to stop.

“And, uh, hypothetically, of course, would I be first, second or third on that list?”

Vanessa looks to the ceiling, maintains the charade of not appearing overly keen. “At the moment, you are…third.”

Brooke’s face is so actively shocked that Vanessa bursts out laughing. “Third?! You bitch! Why?”

Vanessa composes herself. “Well first of all, I don’t know where you’re putting me on this list, girl, so I gotta hedge my bets. Second, I’m still trying to recover from wouldn’t mind, so that knocks you down a place. Also you just called me a bitch, so you’re now reserve-third.”

“If I told you you were first on my list, does that move me up a place?” Brooke smiles at her cheekily. Vanessa tries to keep a calm exterior and not show Brooke that she’s maybe-sort-of-a-little-bit melting at her words.

“You could. How do I know you’re telling the truth, though?”

Brooke shrugs a little. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

With that, Vanessa feels Brooke’s hand being ripped out of her own and coming to rest in between her shoulder blades, and suddenly she’s being dipped to the ground and brought back up again. She ends up pressed up against Brooke’s chest, her face tilted up to meet hers and her lips way too close to be good for Vanessa’s heart rate. She hears an impressed cry from someone- probably Monique or Akeria stirring the pot- and there’s a kind of hush that falls over the room in response to the move that’s a little bit more advanced than anyone was expecting.

“O-kay!” a producer exclaims, and Vanessa melts out of hold, only a little bit captivated. “If we could all switch round again, uh, I think we’ll have Aja with…Farrah-”

Brooke gives her a wink and a smile as she walks away towards Courtney who she’s been paired with next, and Vanessa attempts to compose herself as she gives a little wave back and tries to focus on Monet who she’s now in front of.

If things all ended up the way she wanted them to, this was going to be a very interesting season.

[jan-uinely]

hot takes [pt. ii]

good[e] morning campers! we have more thoughts on \_ |_ | _/  RuPaul’s Drag Race episode 9... because i have nothing better to think about... lol. This is a novel, btw. 

SO... I have said it before and i will say it again... the in memorium segment gave me life. Robot Barbie Cheerleader. also RIP to jan’s clear drink in untucked. 

Let’s get into the gig, because why not. Unsure if readers are aware, but I am very politically minded. [do I use tumblr as a way to put politics aside for a little while? sure. but I have also worked on campaigns, did not take Elizabeth warren dropping out of the presidential race well... I mean she dropped at the beginning of march and now look at where we are.... anyWAYs.]

I did not like this episode. I did not like the challenge. From what I understand, the only other time this challenge was done was in season 4, but I stopped watching season 4 when sharon wore a conf*derate flag bodysuit for a mini challenge, prior to which she wore a mccain/palin shirt. I still don’t know if it was a joke, but #yeet. 

So this episode took the place of a “roast”/ stand up episode. Those are usually fine. They separate folks a little bit more. But, as someone who followed the recent primary with a VERY close eye, but was could also be humorous about it... Debates are hard to do. What makes a debate work is that everyone is well versed on everyone else’s platform, and knows how to attack them, because they have been the same person the whole time. For some reason, everyone “invented” a different character to play.... no one had a real platform... and it’s really hard to ~volley~ when people don’t really understand everyone’s characters. I also think, similar to the democratic primary- that there were too many people on stage. I also think snatch game happened too early... but that’s another story never mind anyway [did you catch that into the woods/bernadette peters joke???? @ JAN ]. 

So everyone has these “characters” which for the most part are not super consistent with who they’ve been portraying on the show... which makes it challenging. Then, it was moderated very poorly, and then edited together very poorly. There was no flow... it was very choppy. Again... not a fan. 

Season 8 also had a political challenge, but if i remember correctly, that was just a branding challenge kind of. It was better than this. Now, do I appreciate the fact that Drag Race is taking this election very seriously?? YES. But this challenge was just Not It. 

I thought Jaida was very consistent, I liked Jackie’s a lot [It seems like a running gag that she is too prepared in the same way that Jan was too energetic... which has its own election flashbacks....] I am really enjoying crystal... I thought she also had what was close to a fully formed character.. it just needed to bake a little more. 

So... next up... ms. goode. #cringe. tbh I don’t care about the performance. Were they just trying to redo snatch game? basically. were they the only person to try and do that? No. 

This mirror chat was the bomb dot com tho. best part of the episode.

We’re talking about the “oh i’m not political” We knew from episode one that Gigi grew up in a lot of privilege- and wasn’t the only one [@ jan] but jesus has it shown in gigi the most... I mean bob the drag queen said it best.. Gigi goode’s mom vs Jaida Essence Hall. 

But the nerve to openly say “i’m not political, and I don’t like it” when you KNOW at this point in time what the contestants have gone through... it’s just really insensitive. Also to be the open front runner knowing that the RPDR fans can be young and impressionable.. is really irresponsible TBH. 

Guess what? I don’t like to follow the news sometimes. I don’t watch tr*mp’s press conferences. Sometimes I log off twitter and go to tumblr. But I still stay INFORMED on the issues and am able to back up my positions. I VOTE. [cannot believe i’m saying this but i would not be surprised if gigi did not vote in 2016.]

[sidebar]

Maybe it’s bc I stan jan in a way that I have stanned no one else before [the only ru girl who even comes close to it while I was actively watching the show without prior knowledge is naomi] Maybe it’s combined with the quarantine that I have nothing else to do. And with that comes a [virtual] introduction to basically everybody who’s anybody in the NYC drag scene. [I will say the Bob-Monet-Cracker-Jan quad is just A+] So maybe I just have a better idea of what it is [have I gone down a Youtube rabbit hole on this subject? yes] 

Is new york also my personal favorite city? yes. Have I been to LA? no. Do I like the concept of LA? no. Have I been west of the mississippi river? no. So maybe it’s a combination of all of these things [including Jan saying on repeat that New York is the greatest city to do drag] but. The NYC girls are just so much more political. Brita, Bob, MOnet, tbh Jan is also on the record saying some A+ shiz. Marti Cummings is a non binary drag artist running for city council in manhattan. “Everybody black and aquaria.” 

Is NYC politics like any city, full of machines and garbage too? Sure. But NYC is just so much more powerful and political. LA is just the embodiment of privilege.

 I also think it’s interesting that some of the smaller town/city gals will move to LA [Trixie/Katya/Alaska? I’m looking @ you] after they get the drag race coin. Not that it’s a bad thing or anything, it’s just an interesting dynamic. [another aside: the non NY/LA girls deserve it all and i think it’s really powerful when the show directly addresses issues of wealth/privilege/access to drag on the show.] 

[end sidebar]

And Gigi came into the competition saying “I want to be on vogue” which is great. Their fashion sense is great. Most of their outfits are great. It’s great that they can do comedy [sometimes- like when they are not playing the role of Gigi] But something else I take issue with- and don’t get me wrong humility is great- is the whole “I’m not a dancer” that’s BS. they whole back handspring etc, madonna challenge. Maybe you weren’t a trained dancer, but ffs cut the crap. [if you haven’t look up gigi goode showgirls] 

And yet the judges continue to give Gigi [and SP] free passes. It’s like Ru is so afraid that if either of them end up in the bottom, they won’t turn it out and then there will be no frontrunner. Well guess what? In season 7, Max had 2 wins before anyone else and came in 9th. valentina going home was a total gag. Brooke and Yvie lip synced on the snatch game ep. But Apparently when the skinny white fashion queen from the big city [gigi, aquaria] does less than well, they don’t get put up for elimination??? [did aquaria deserve to lip sync for the makeover? idk.]

Gigi is getting a “winner” edit and it’s not really fair to anyone. People who should have won certain challenges were IGNORED, and instead the producers give all the credit to gigi, giving them almost a worse edit. Like we want to see humans, not robots. If we learned ANYTHING from last week is that the judges don’t like when you just “start on 100 and stay there THE WHOLE TIME”. Bc the truth is that [aside from the loads and loads and loads of privilege,] Gigi is really nice and very talented. But I, as a viewer of reality TV, live to see the perfect fail. I want everyone to shine [this is why I loved when Naomi sent manila home, oops] 

Also.. I would like to address the fact that Gigi basically used the same outfit twice... this runway and entrance look have almost the same pattern, with just a slightly different skirt type. I would like for this behavior to be called out bc it is such a memorable silhouette. 

Also- Shout out to Crystal for the most bomb ass runway... I want that whole outfit pls. 

but aside from that... TBH I just want a show with the real top 7 [ the heidi and widow have been cracking me up saying “we’re at top 5″ or “we’re at top 6″ before the ep aired on instagram and I’m loling.. and that VERY AWK moment when Jan is on the x change rate saying that they couldn’t justify putting anyone other that her and widow in the bottom bc gigi and 3 wins and trying to work around not saying SP’s name had 2. [also shout out to jan the real mvp for unfollowing SP on twitter]] doing competitions and having fun. And I’ve said this before. This is a really good season that did not need production’s handprints all over everything. But they chose to cast RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, so they shouldn’t be complaining or trying to manufacture drama.

I was cracking up when Jaida was [clearly prodded by producers] asking is there anything we need to talk about? and then Jackie goes to talk to widow right before they leave and they are just nice to each other. lol no drama here. It’s the season of the inner saboteur. 

So Jackie and widow are in the bottom and tbh I don’t know. I would have liked to see Gigi lip sync. I would have liked this challenge to not happen. but it did. The lip sync song.. I just didn’t love the cut... Katy perry’s voice is so over produced [trend alert] that the illusion of the lip sync didn’t work in the first chorus. Jackie’s plastic bag was just A+. These lip syncs, tbh starting w jan v widow have been very good. not good enough to make up for the garbage that was everything since ep. 3, but close. [and some of that was song choice, some of it was not. I will say brita killed her first one but rip to rock]

Jeff gold bloom. I just don’t know. Maybe it’s bc I never saw jurassic park. Maybe he was just a bad judge. maybe he too was being prodded by production. ugh. You can read the takes on his interactions with jackie somewhere else. 

[wanderlustwonderlots]

Paris - Day 4 (Giverny)

Today wasn’t really a Paris day, but in fact a day trip to Vernon/Giverny, to see Monet’s gardens!  I did this on my last full day in France on my last trip, but I actually never blogged about it, because I was exhausted after arriving back from my trip and never got around to it.  Not to worry, I’ll wax on about this year’s trip here!

It was a slightly early rise and a quick trip to the train station to catch the train to Vernon, about an hour and a half ride.  Had we missed this we would have been in trouble, with only one train in the morning and one in the evening! We got there with time to spare but it was a very full train so ended up not sitting all together.  I spent the ride writing up my last blog post on my phone, so it was time well spent.  I suppose I could have been looking out at the scenery, but I’d already done the ride once before and landscapes are just landscapes after a while.  Since I was well occupied, the ride flew by and soon enough we were in Vernon.  Right after walking out of the train station we came upon the “Petit Train de Giverny,” an adorable little car with multiple segments done up to look like a tiny train.  We could have taken the bus from Vernon to Giverny, which takes the same time and is only a few euros more expensive, but I knew the petit train! I took it two years ago and it was so funny and cute so I had been talking it up to my parents.  We got our tickets, hopped on, and drove past the line of suckers waiting for the shuttle bus.  The petit train takes you through the town of Vernon, and there’s an audio tour broadcasted through the cars that tells you about the history and significance of the town.  I couldn’t tell you much about it because a lot of the time historical information flies right out of my head, but it was a town tossed back and forth between the English and the French during various wars, it had a beautiful cathedral and remnants of an old mill and castle. The guide also of course had lots to say about the artists that loved Vernon and nearby Giverny.  

It was an overcast morning and I was most definitely not dressed for the weather so I was mighty chilly on the ride over (in just a t-shirt and skirt), but shortly after we arrived in Giverny, 20 minutes later, blue skies had begun to start appearing.  Our plan was thus to start with the Musée des Impressionnismes and after that move on to Monet’s gardens, hoping that it would be sunny by then.  We walked up through the town and were greeted by gorgeous hedged gardens outside the museum.  As I read on a sign later, the gardens were actually designed by an architect, I believe the same one that designed the museum, though I could be mistaken.  Designed in 1991, the gardens are arranged by monochromatic plots, retaining their colour schemes throughout various blooming seasons.  One of the gardens was entirely herbs and aromatic plants, including thyme, basil, chives, mint, basil, rhubarb, greens, you name it!  We could run our hands through the plants and smell them after to take in all the different herbs.  It was nice to already be surrounded by nature, just walking around the town.  Even the residents’ small gardens, rose trees, and flowers lining the streets were beautiful.

In the museum was an exhibit on Japanese-inspired impressionism, showing pieces of Japanese art such as prints, sketches, and paintings that inspired French impressionists, as well as their works that followed these “exotic” styles.  As much as I love impressionism, I don’t know much about its history, so had no idea that Japanese art was such a big influence on some of my favourite painters - Monet, Van Gogh, Caillbotte, Pissarro, Degas, to name a few.  I just find the style to be so enrapturing.  Seeing this side of French Impressionist history was really interesting.  

At the end of the museum was a special exposition on Hiramatsu Reiji, a Japanese artist who was in turn inspired by Monet’s paintings and his water garden.  He saw Monet’s art in a museum in Paris and decided to plan a trip around the countryside that Monet painted so much.  The pieces in this exposition were of the water lilies, through a definite Japanese eye.  I thought it was fascinating to see the inspiration come full circle, and Hiramatsu’s work was stunning, with so many bright colours and patterns, and vibrant, shiny golds.

Leaving the museum we finished exploring the surrounding gardens and headed down the picturesque road to Monet’s property.  Thankfully at the museum we had bought a combined ticket and were able to skip the long, long line to get into Monet’s.  Th town and its tourist points were SO much more crowded than the last time I was there!  Granted, I had gone in mid-August, and this had turned out to be a beautiful sunny day in May on a long weekend, so people had come from all over.  To be honest, the crowds spoiled the experience slightly, but I really can’t complain even a little bit when I’m in one of my favourite places that I’ve ever been to. Besides, the more people that get to experience the magic of the place, the better.

We started with the water gardens.  It was too early to see all of the water lilies, though I think we found 3 total that had bloomed! Last time I was too late, and this time too early, so I’ll just have to come a third time to catch them.  The lily pads were still just as amazing to see, strewn across the pond in their little floral flotillas. I got to explore the surrounding gardens like they were new to me because so many different flowers and trees were in bloom.  There were explosions of colour everywhere, making every ten steps a new scene of smells and sights. I took so many photos and still nothing can come close to showing how calm and enchanting the waterscapes and landscapes are.  Pinks and purples and reds around every bend, wisteria like streamers overhead, tall bamboo rustling and clacking together, foxglove and lupins vibrant among other flowers, lush greens brushing against your legs, willows so long and graceful, blowing in the breeze and nearly skimming the pond.  And amidst it all, birdsong carrying over the hum of people, a reminder that this spot is a celebration of nature herself.  

Being in this place makes me so happy that I could cry.  Seeing what Monet envisioned, brought to life, and then painted gave me goosebumps and put the most serene smile on my face. I took my sweet time despite the constant stream of people going through the gardens as well, and spent as long as I wanted to taking it all in, looking at all of the blooms and the bees working hard to pollinate them.  I’ll be damned if I’m going to be rushed through this.  After we felt we had experienced the water gardens to the fullest, we crossed back over to the gardens outside Monet’s cottage.  

The most striking thing about these gardens was the amount of irises they contained.  So many different varieties, each seeming to smell sweeter than the last.  A deep, silky purple that was near black; pale blue with a dark stripe down the middle of each petal; sunny yellow so joyful; pure white, and white with rich purple petals; soft lavender.  There were also more types of poppies than I have ever seen! My mom was so happy to see both of these abundances of flowers, two of her favourites.  The many different roses added even more sweetness to the air.  All the colours and smells in the hot, early summer air could almost transport me away from the throngs of people around me. These gardens are so well cultivated and maintained, and I have a lot of respect for the groundskeepers that make this place the slice of paradise that it is.  I really consider myself blessed to be able to come here twice now, and feel completely content, absolutely full of wonder.  I don’t know that anything will ever compare to how I feel when I’m in these gardens.  Maybe that sounds like an overstatement, but it’s true. I hope that the way I write about it helps to convey exactly how dreamy the gardens are, and how much they mean to me.

We decided not to go into Monet’s cottage, as the line was extremely long, and we wanted to have lunch before making our way back to the petit train and Vernon.  There was only one train to Paris, so we absolutely had to make it.  The benches around the core part of the town were in high demand and we wanted a shady spot for lunch, so we settled on some grass beneath a nice thicket of trees to eat the baguette and cheese we packed.  We had some fruit earlier in the day, after the museum, but this was a much needed respite from the people to sit down in the shade and recharge.  A bird was watching us for most of our little lunch, and my mom kept tossing it tiny morsels of bread and cheese so it could join us.  I know, not the best thing to do, but it was so cute and came so close to us!  We finished our lunch with the bird, packed up, and headed back to wait for the petit train.

The trip back to Vernon was a bit stressful because we were damn close to the train’s departure, and both the petit train and the big train back to Paris were packed full, but we made it.  After getting into Paris we picked up some ravioli and salad to have for dinner at home, to which we invited Etienne.  It was a lovely supper at home after having a lot of meals out, which I appreciated.  We had a nice red wine to drink, along with a crisp cider, and a few beers to finish.  Quite the lushes!  Mostly we were trying to finish everything we had in the fridge before our departure to the south of France.  In any case, it ended up being a great evening, concluded with a board game of course.  We said goodbye to Etienne until next weekend (when he’ll kindly pick us up from the train station in Dijon to go to his parents’ house), and packed up our things for our flight the next day.

It was a wonderful day to wrap up our short time in Paris, and another experience I won’t forget.  I hope you enjoyed reading about today’s adventure, and got a glimpse into how I feel about nature and about Monet.  Next up is the south of France!

[queezleposts]

OB64′s Flawed Progression System, Other Issues (as of initial PTS)

 So, I have quite a few thoughts to put together as of OB64 now that I’ve played a bit of it in PTS. Here’s a link to the patch notes for those interested.

The Progression System

So I’ve tried out the PTS and played there for a bit. Of course by “playing” I mean the majority of my time has been spent opening radiant chests trying to level the cards I want to no avail, much to my frustration.

Before I start though, a little discussion of the progression system I joined paladins with, and how we ended up with the preceding essence system.

Before the essence system (and legendary cards) the only currencies that existed were gold and crystals. Gold could be earned through gameplay and ranking whereas crystals could only be earned as a login bonus given that it was a premium currency. Gold could be used to purchase both champions and deck cards. If you played the game enough, and leveled up the champions you already owned, you could pick and choose which loadout cards you bought. Yes you could purchase radiant chests but the progression system was entirely untethered to rng mechanics. The player could pick however they progressed. This is why I started playing paladins in the first place; its in game progression system could be progressed through WITHOUT relying on loot boxes or paying a single cent.

Now the problem at the time was that there wasn’t a lot of content yet (this was also before mastery rewards for individual champions were added or even weekly or daily quests - we had FWOTD) so many veteran players were sitting on piles of unused gold. Sure there were other issues too, but this was the one most discussed in the community. One of the fixes to this situation - and yes, the devs mentioned this as one of the issues they wished to fix with this update - was the essence system. A new currency was introduced called “essence” which was specifically only for purchasing cards. The biggest complaint with this new system was in its initial state progression was solely tied to the rng mechanics of the radiant chests. There was no way to pick and choose which champion’s loadout you wished to progress! They responded quickly and fixed this, but the initial issue of veteran players simply sitting on piles of gold was now simply well...picked up and moved somewhere else. Now they were sitting on piles of essence instead.

This is what you saw a lot of people complaining about essence as it currently exists, and why people LIKE the removal of essence in the proposed OB64 system. They simply weren’t using it, and the gold problem could have just been fixed by adding more options to buy with gold (such as the aforementioned mastery rewards). The biggest problem with the new system is that we’re back to what the biggest issue was with the initial state of the essence system - it is tied inherently to rng mechanics and the radiant chests. I have opened what must be HUNDREDS of radiant chests in the PTS, all using specific legendary keys, and I still don’t have the cards leveled up that I want. It effectively takes away player choice, and disconnects progression from a feeling of something that is you know, earned. Connecting your progression to loot box systems in general is just bad form; we all saw the outrage when a similar system was put through with Battlefront II which was also as it happens a full price game.

Even with the addition of specific champion chests as mastery rewards, it is still, at its core a progression system based on rng mechanics. I didn’t like it with the initial release of the essence system and I don’t like it now. This is literally the same discussion that we had back then.

Now, if they stick with the reworking of the card point system that accompanies this, they need to give us avenues to acquire our card levels through straight purchase. Sure we have all the cards unlocked, but that’s a moot point when it is now THEIR LEVELS that are locked behind a rng paywall.

And that’s the thing; you could argue that all cards being unlocked is just smoke and mirrors. If each level of the card existed as a “separate” card and not a level on your current card, the effect is pretty much the same. It’s just in terms of presentation now.

If they keep our current point based card system but also want to create a more even playing field, a better solution might just be to have all legendary cards unlocked instead; leave deck cards as purchases one can decide on, but the initial legendary card that decides your playstyle BY ITSELF is unlocked. At the very least, it would be a much more simple fix. The fact of the matter is, as long as Hi Rez continues to push an rng progression system, it’s just not going to work. Build a progression system untethered to rng and base your monetization more around cosmetics and you’ll see a lot less complaint.

Casual (Quickplay) Versus Ranked

Now, as to making it so that everyone in casual plays with cards up to level five and everyone in ranked plays with cards only at level three, I do not like the artificial divide this creates between the two modes. If this is to go through, the only way you will be able to have a truly balanced game without having pressure to win will be customs. In my honest opinion, it should be the other way around.

If you wish to play a more zany arcade style game, it should be an option in customs but NOT in casual or “quick play” queue. All it does is create an artificial incentive to play ranked; you shouldn’t feel like you HAVE to play ranked to get a decent balanced game! You play ranked to CHALLENGE yourself. And not everybody wants that! Some people just want a chill balanced game without anything particularly “out” there.

It’s an overcomplication that just feels to the average player like its throwing balance out the window in order to force you to play ranked. And that’s the thing; if you want a balanced game you feel forced now under this system. You shouldn’t feel forced! You should legitimately want to play ranked; and no customs isn’t a good bandaid. Not only do you need to organize enough friends or people to fill two teams but they need to be at a similar point in their playtime or skill level as well! That’s just not a simple task for most people. It’s more complication than there needs to be!

My other point I would make is that having your ranked and casual mode be similar in terms of actual gameplay is more likely to make ranked an inviting option than to not. It allows people to test out and try new things in casual at their own pace, and then play them in ranked when they’re confident enough. Here’s the thing; not everyone playing ranked is playing it because they want to play in esports or even want to have that esports mentality; simply put a lot just play it for challenge alone, the in game rewards, the draft system, or to get an idea for how they’re improving at the core game itself. Sure having different draft systems is fine because it doesn’t really CHANGE how you play the actual game itself. Having different card point values DOES.

Making your CORE CASUAL (quickplay) mode “arcadey” instead of relegating “arcadey” to customs or a separate “arcade” queue in the casual options muddies the waters much to much. I simply can’t find myself liking it; but this change is inherently tied to the new card point system, and they’d have to definitely think about reworking it if they wish to make such changes.

What I Like

On to a happier subject; I actually do enjoy quite a few of the new legendaries added, and got to try a few of them at the very least in the shooting range or against bots. Quite a few of them are interesting and give some of the champions some much needed options.

The art side of the update looks fantastic, and I particularly like the change to the new match lobby presentation. Thank you for allowing Fernando to wink at me again. Snowman bomb king looks great, and I’m glad that angelic seris was created eventually despite not winning the community skin poll voting anyway.

“Magistrate’s Archives” map looks AMAZING and I love it to bits.

VIP system changes look interesting and definitely add something cool for those that opt in or otherwise.

Even though this technically isn’t supposed to ship with this patch the concept of “special quests” that unlock different champions backstory is also really cool and I’m looking forward to that.

But, the main thrust of my criticisms remain. In its current state, I don’t feel like the game would be moving in a good direction if what exists in the PTS is pushed through without some big changes.

[adatedreference]

On the Creation Club and Boycott

So I just made this (rather long) post to make arguments against the Creation Club to someone on r/Fallout and I felt it should be shared here too. I’ve done some minor editing to make it less direct but anyways, here goes:

I know there are people who rather foolishly moan and complain about DLCs and increased base-game costs but those gripes are mostly foolish; a game can be a Complete Experience and still have room for DLC to add things and increased development costs are a real thing hat effects Devs. But those aren’t the issues that effect the Creation Club, as much as people like to bring them up as a response to the criticism against it... and unfortunately as much as some people against the Creation Club bring up just the idea of DLC in general as an in issue with the Creation Club. But here are some of the many real, critical issues with Bethesda’s Creation Club:

The Creation Club is Bethesda leveraging the passion and effort of the Community for its profits and its benefits with almost no benefit coming back to us. Mods keep the Game alive and kicking for years after its Market Expiration because people can keep coming back to get some new content they'd always hoped for — usually for free, sometimes with the option to contribute specifically to the creators of the content. Bethesda is taking the fact that the Community undertakes these projects of passion to squeeze more money out of the players for things that would all but certainly be made anyways.

Pricing. The Creation Club is priced very wrong. See I really want the faction paint jobs for the weapons, especially the Minutemen ones because I'm a Settlement (Over)Builder and the Minutemen are the epitome of that. Let's say I determine that I would spend money on this mod? Well it's not worth its current cost ($1.33) to me, it's worth maybe $0.25, $0.50 at most but that's not at all what they're asking. I'm not miserly about spending money on these kinds of things, look at General Dave's Wasteland Walls; I quite like Evil Viking and when he announced the project, I decided I should start start putting my money behind what he does and have given him $5/month ever since. Name an appropriate price or ask me the right way and I will pay, ask too much of me and you lose a potential customer.

The Creation Club is not the product we were sold. When they talked about the Creation Club their marketing campaign painted great, vast swathes of content made at a quality just below the studio's own and more ambitious than most mods normally could be. The Creation Club can't facilitate files that large, hell Better Breezehome for Skyrim — which is a phenomenal mod despite being fairly small — is either too big or at the very upper bounds of what they could manage. They sold a product that promised things like Beyond Skyrim Bruma but in reality can only deliver us Better Blade of Woe — Better Blade of Woe is nice but if you're going to make me choose one, well I can deal with a named Orcish Dagger thank you.

Its implementation. Do you know anything about how Creation Club files are downloaded? If you do, me mentioning it should make you cringe, if you don't (or you're someone reading this argument who doesn't because I'm not just framing this discussion for the person it's directly a response to) well... I have some shitty news for you. So the way it works is that Bethesda downloads all the files with every upload and then just puts up a pay-wall for the content in your game. For some that might not seem terrible at first glance but look at it another way: Content you may not want, that you might protest/detest, that you may never elect to pay for will take up space on your SSD/HDD no matter your objections for as long as you decide to keep the game installed.

The Mods are coming out in a way that is very different than what most of us long-term Modded Gamers are use to and, I would argue, certainly not for the better. Creation Club mods hit the CC when they are finished and bug free. Cool. Now what makes that substantially different and worse than Classic Mods from the nexus? Well looking again at the Faction Weapon Paint Jobs — because I want this mod and so I'm going to pound on this drum til the skin tears — on the CC at release it is and will only ever be 10 weapons. On the Nexus it would probably launch at about 5 Skins and then over the course of a couple of months to a year it would expand to cover all but a few of the more unique weapons from Vanilla (like the Broadsider). It would also likely be quite modular, with editions to include paints for Various DLC weapons, and maybe an extra version that turns down the goddamn American Flags down to a 5 from their current 11, since the Commonwealth isn't the Full USA. And that would all be one single mod. Now look at how sad the CC version looks. Sure it has no bugs but it's also lacking in character or growth, restricted utterly for no reason except to fit into Bethesda's store set up.

It, Bethesda.net and the various fiascos following Bethesda's efforts to both monetize Modding and force its adoption for Consoles (Mods should be on Consoles they (that's Bethesda and Console Devs in general) need to improve the infrastructure for the Mods) are SEVERELY damaging the Modding Community. Look at DDProductions83, FO4's NIF-Messiah; love him or hate him personally, as I understand his personality was not exactly universally acclaimed, he made absolutely amazing mods at an incredible rate even when the tools available to us were middling-at-best. He left the Community because of some of the shady and shitty practices going on in the early days of the Bethesda.net Mods and I mourn that loss deeply. Another example is 5Like, his amazing mod 'Thematic and Practical' is one of the most amazing, if simple, mods ever added to FO4 and was likely to grow even better... and all the baggage tied to the Creation Club left such a bad taste in his mouth that he washed his hands of the project and declared it dead. How much better off would the modding community for Fallout be with those two still working and impassioned over these hobbies of there's? How much, comparatively, have we really gained with such inspired mods as Camo-patterned Pip Boys and Hot Rod Flame paint guns?... You can guess which I'd choose.

So yeah, that's why I personally boycott the CC. I would love to hear rebuttals or things I may not have considered but honestly, This is how I see Bethesda in 2016, licking their lips at the idea of Paid Mods and fittingly this is where I see them by next Summer. Maybe there's a side of this I don't see, and if you think that's the case please make your case — a new perspective on a troubling issue is always welcome. But until something changes, be it my views or their practices, I really want Bethesda to crash-and-burn a bit on this venture — not enough to damage them long term and jeopardize some of my favourite IPs in existence but enough to dissuade them.

[ormlacom]

The DeanBeat: The tragedy of the Star Wars: Battlefront II loot crates

Something every woman should know - WHY MEN LIE!

Electronic Arts made a great game in Star Wars: Battlefront II. But it stepped in a pile of controversy by adding an unpopular monetization system known as loot crates. Those crates appear in a lot of games, mostly free-to-play titles where you pay real money for the crates and a chance to get some good loot. Gamers viewed the loot crate scheme as a money grab. As of last night, EA decided to back off on the controversial microtransactions for the loot crates.

Call it a victory for consumers, but this is going to come at a price for everyone.

In console games, where you already pay $60 for a full game, they have been taboo. People feel like they’ve already paid once, and they don’t want to pay again to unlock something else. EA pushed the envelope with Battlefront II, removing the traditional fee for downloadable content (DLC) such as new maps and characters. That was good for gamers and keeping the community whole. But EA also added in loot crates that you could buy for real money. Those loot crates not only gave you cosmetic stuff. They also helped accelerate weapon unlocks and the use of heroes and villains, such as Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker.

“Battlefront 2 EA is said to have gotten rid of the whole DLC thing with their introduction of microtransaction galore,” said one gamer on Steam. “We’ve traded one type of evil for another in the form of casting aside DLC for loot crates.”

This kind of sentiment has been expressed about other games, like Middle-earth: Shadow of War, where the final ending was locked behind a number of grind-like missions, and fans fretted that they could shorten that grand by buying loot crates. But EA’s problem looks worse because Battlefront II — whose predecessor sold 14 million units — is one of the biggest titles of the year.

Above: Four human players play as heroes and take on four villains in Star Wars: Battlefront II’s Heroes vs. Villains multiplayer mode.

Image Credit: Electronic Arts/GamesBeat

Battlefront II launches today on the PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC. But it is sad that this loot crate controversy has dominated the conversation. And it’s not necessarily the fault of oversenstive gamers who are raging. This problem is also a case of EA shooting itself in the foot. If you are a developer on this game, imagine the horror. You’ve spent a couple of years polishing this game, but it’s going to suffer because of the way monetization was built into the loot crate system.

Gamers have been strident, and EA has had to retreat and deal with the growing outrage.

Listen, the Battlefront II issue isn’t about pissy gamers complaining. It’s about what the industry has turned into and what people won’t tolerate anymore. If you purchase the game, you are basically telling EA it’s okay. When in fact, it isn’t. #StarWarsBattlefrontII

— Dalton Davis (@daltonldavis) November 16, 2017

In other games like Overwatch, loot crates unlock purely cosmetic items that don’t affect gameplay or the progression through the multiplayer ladder, which gets you access to better gear and makes you more powerful in multiplayer.

Above: Starfighter combat in Star Wars: Battlefront II.

Image Credit: Electronic Arts

But EA tied its Star Card system to more than just cosmetic items, and that made the gamers mad. It reeked of “pay-to-win” schemes where players who spent the most money can outplay those who don’t. Such schemes are OK in China but not so in the West.

Loot boxes, by the way, are also controversial for another reason. When you buy one, you don’t know what you’ll get. Sometimes you get something good. Sometimes it’s bad. That’s a lot like a slot machine. They’re akin to gambling, and some regulators think they should be regulated. In Japan, loot crates known as “gacha” systems were forcibly changed by regulators, as some personalities became addicted to the chance to win big in purchases.

Back to EA. The trouble popped up when EA showed off its beta and left gamers to interpret the loot crate system. In the beta tests, you could unlock things like weapons in multiplayer over time. Each class of character, such as a Heavy Gunner, had four guns. One was free. The others had to be unlocked. You could unlock them with points, but players noted how long it took to get those points through online battles. EA clarified at the time that some things you couldn’t buy with money.

But players still had complaints. You could unlock guns through credits that you earned through loot crates. And those loot crates could either be earned through gameplay or purchased with real money. The crystals that you purchased could effectively be used to unlock better weapons as well as heroes and villains. One fan estimated that it would take $80 or 40 hours to unlock Darth Vader. That’s a long time to unlock a character in a game that you have already paid for. EA’s response to this became the most downvoted comment in Reddit history.

So EA took one step back and, earlier this week, announced that it would cut the time required to earn Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker by 75 percent, and it would make it much easier to earn the lesser characters. That definitely helped, and EA did a Reddit conversation with its developers to help alleviate fan concerns. EA constantly said it was listening to fan feedback and would adjust the system. EA said that Epic Star Cards, or rare items that you can get in the loot crates, would have to be earned only through gameplay. Other Star Cards could be purchased through the loot crates still. But you had to reach a certain level of play to use the Star Cards.

Above: Loot create in Star Wars Battlefront II.

Image Credit: EA

In certain modes, you could still play as any of the heroes or villains, such as the multiplayer mode Heroes vs Villains. But that was different from regular multiplayer, where if you show up with a hero, then you have a chance to dominate gameplay.

But the fans still complained, and the conversation got even louder after the Reddit Q&A session. So last night, EA took the final step and disabled the system for purchasing crystals in the game with real money. Now you can’t buy loot crates at all, and all progression will be earned through gameplay. EA said that microtransactions will return, but only after EA had changed the system and the game.

Now the system will be fair for all players, from the point of view of gamers. But this will likely create far-reaching consequences. Encouraged by the success of microtransactions and live operations in games like FIFA, Madden, and Battlefield, EA tried to evolve the monetization too far.

We don’t what the consequences are yet, but gamers should know that nothing comes for free. If you take away monetization of DLC, and monetization of loot crates, you also take away the things that those make possible, like more and better game content.

EA has taken a lot of abuse online. Many fans called it greedy and the most-hated company in video games. Those words come after EA bought Titanfall maker Respawn Entertainment for $455 million last week. And after EA shut down Visceral Games because its Star Wars game wasn’t resonating with fans. Both the Respawn and Visceral moves prompted a lot of cynicism from fans. I thought the criticism was unfair and I gave EA the benefit of the doubt in those cases. But in my opinion, EA’s handling of the loot crates has been worse. The company has staged a long retreat, when a simple and short one would have been better, in hindsight.

We haven’t heard such hateful words about EA since former CEO John Riccitiello left EA in 2013 and the company appointed Andrew Wilson as its CEO. Wilson’s policy has been to put players first, but with this controversy, now his reputation has some tarnish on it. And the tragedy here? The game is good, particularly when you’re playing big 20-versus-20 multiplayer battles that make you feel like you’re in a Star Wars movie.

The PC Gaming channel is presented by Intel®'s Game Dev program.

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