#like it's literally following the logic of I didn't discuss it with my friends and the people who love me I decided

[aestatismors]

I know no one cares but there's this whole conversation about whether or not it was his choice and blah blah blah and the thing is it doesn't matter, that sounds really shitty to say, but it was 2 days after the announcement with the peak of the uproar and that's hard in general but he was alone, we know that companies do corner people and make them given to whatever decision they want, but it's the fact that someone should have been there to reiterate that it was going to take time and taking back the decision that quickly isn't necessarily a good thing for anyone

[hunter-sylvester]

The quiet sexual assault symbolism in Metal Lords.

[TW] Discussion of SA, SA aftermath, and SA symbolism.

Every time I've written about these scenes I've felt like I had to hold back. But fuck it, right? I was inspired by this ask to actually share a bit more of my thoughts on the topic.

I can't overstate that I don't think any of this was intentional. I don't believe the scene was ever supposed display any more explicit SA, I think it's all purely accidental. Which, if you ask me, tends to be where the best emotional representation happens.

There's two scenes that unintentionally mirror the typical portrayal of sexual assault and its emotional aftermath. The scene where Skip attacks Hunter, cutting a chunk of his hair off. And the following scene where Hunter shaves the side of his head in his bedroom.

How many times have we seen female characters cut their hair after an abusive relationship or after being assaulted? And how many of us, regardless of gender, have done the same? Hacking away at our hair with blunt scissors and tears in our eyes. Standing over the bathroom sink trying to somehow cut out the memory.

And we know the likely "why" to the typical post-trauma haircut. It's looking in the mirror and seeing something other than the person that endured the trauma. It's taking back control over our bodies.

Before the attack even happens, Hunter's been slowly losing the control that he at least thought he had. Control over himself, his surroundings, and not to mention: Kevin. Kevin's pursuit of Emily creates an important crack in Hunter's perception of their relationship. And is evidence of the lack of control he really has over it.

Everything about the attack screams accidental SA metaphor. He's ambushed by several guys, overpowered, "gagged." A piece of him is taken, only to be discarded. Because it was never about the thing that's taken, only that it's violently ripped away. And afterwards he's left writhing on the floor. Eyes wide in disbelief. Trying to process what just happened to him.

That scene in isolation already has this theme thoroughly woven into it, but I think it's really hammered home in the one that follows.

Of course, Kevin is there with him. The person he feels most comfortable around. The person he needs now more than ever.

Not only does Hunter directly call Skip's coach a rapist before lamenting that when Skip & his friends come back they'll "ass-rape" him. (Again, I don't think that's a literal accusation, but the fact that that's where his mind went in at the very least notable.)

More importantly: he blames himself.

Kevin justly points out that Hunter didn't "get them suspended." They got themselves suspended by attacking Hunter. But he pushes back. Pointing out that he flicked Skip in the face first.

Let's not let it slide how much of a batshit escalation Skip's actions are. Even if we take everything entirely at face value, Skip is fucking unhinged. As most bullies are.

The fact that Hunter flicked Skip in the face in no way justifies him literally hacking off a chuck of Hunter's hair. But the fact that Hunter tries to justify it as being his fault brings it that much closer to the SA symbolism. It's painfully common for us to assume we must have done something to warrant the abuse we face. That we made the fatal mistake that led to it all, rather than it being a decision made by our attackers.

Obviously, at face value, Hunter shaving the side of his head is a logical way to deal with a chunk of his hair being cut off. It's that or cutting all of his hair off. Part of me feels like that's what Skip would have been hoping for. So choosing the shaved side instead feels like a subtle(ish) "fuck you" in and of itself. It's Hunter reclaiming his hair.

It's also that step towards regaining control. It's destruction on Hunter's own terms. (cough see the fucking jacket post cough) (and for that matter my other haircut post)

It's removing Skips fingerprints in favor of the scratch-marks of Hunter's own nails. Because by fuck is the stinging those leave preferable over the dull aching memory of Skip's hands on him.

For a split second we see him realize even a sliver of the impact of it all. When he's no longer able to distract himself by focusing purely on the act of shaving his head, he can't ignore what's directly staring back at him. That he's not the same as he was anymore. He's a different Hunter from the one that woke up that morning. He's been defiled. Destroyed. Partly by his own hand. Which doesn't exactly dull the sting of it but it at least makes it his. At least he has ownership over his damage. At least some of it's on his terms.

Of course the thing he turns to to snap himself out of this is to seek Kevin's approval.

A plea, perhaps. Tell me I'm not as broken as I feel. Tell me I'm not completely destroyed. Tell me I'm going to come out the other end of this. Tell me you still love me.

(I'm aware this scene is played relatively lighthearted, and that I'm in fact insane. Water is also wet.)

I think that's all I have on this for now. Might add more later idk

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 2)

Had they just let him get Clover the badge (and literally finish the best day of his life since, again, Clover's gotta go) and then all sat down to chat, everything would have been solved in minutes. Because clearly Starlo's main motivation is making sure other people are happy, right? If they tell him they're not happy, he'd sure as heck care about that. Just look at how he tells the group to have fun with Clover:

btw, this is a human they SHOULD be excited to talk to more since well... they're a human. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and they are SUPPOSED to be into the western culture almost as much as Star, or at least that's what Star thought. More on this later

But no, gotta act jealous instead, call Starlo's training lackluster...

Then you make a better one, Ed, instead of complaining, Star's mind was too occupied with everything, as it always is. The town needs to be led by someone every day after all. It's all harder than it looks, you've gotta focus on schedules, new ideas, and most importantly radiating positive energy even in the worst of times

...say he's been throwing them around for human business...

huh Moray?? He didn't force you to do anything, you all just went with it. If you hated the training, y'all never said it. Ed also says how he basically doesn't want to participate in the trolley problem which I found sorta.. weird. I mean, it's not very likely that in all the years they've spent roleplaying here, they've never done this before. And even if they hadn't, it really is logical to assume Ed didn't really mean he was terrified and was just acting to make the scene more "dramatic" The five of them ARE sort of actors anyway (why would he be scared tho? it's not a real train that's coming, no real danger here, just harmless fun)

... and apparently call him a meanie and a big-headed sheriff:

HOW is he a meanie Mooch?? How??? He was just trying to be helpful and got too into everything. It's not the same as being mean on purpose. And even if he DID act prouder than usual, he honestly had every right to do it. After everything he's tried to do for the underground, his friends and family, he had every right to lift himself up. All you guys ever did was tag along with him everywhere apparently, never having to worry about anything but your own hobbies, had a secure AND fun job thanks to your boss, a place to live, nap times, PLUS Star was always a nice leader (Ed himself admits this; from my previous blog). How do I know he was nice? Aside from signs in the game, the gang only argued over trivial matters (IDK what exactly but Dina said this)

And Ace... wdym you're following them??

Why??? Star literally praised you and thanked you! What the heck?? Yeah life dealth him a bad hand but you're not doing anything about this situation aside from leaving.

I love all four of them, but honestly, It's not like Star ditched any of you, he didn't ever act angry (besides when Ed insulted his mission, which IS frustrating because: 1) he tried his best to make it enjoyable for everyone 2) this comment Ed made contradicts everything Starlo wanted to feel that day: genuinely proud, happy, useful, important. He wanted to enjoy himself as much as possible and bring as much joy to others as he could. And he was right to want that... especially after all he's already done. Or tried to do. Even though he's too fiery, too passionate, *too much,* why didn't anyone let him know this? Why didn't they tell him he's NOT been making anyone happy, aside from the tourists? Why keep lying to him until his breaking point?

Better explained down here during a discussion in the messages here on tumblr in case ya'll have the patience to read it ↓

Just... After thinking things through, I've started seeing things from a different pov. Yeah, the Four apologise to Clover in neutral, but Starlo STILL has to be the one to come to THEM for forgiveness. Forgiveness for what exactly? What did he do that was worse than what YOU guys did to HIM? (you too Ceroba, especially you, and I'll talk about this VERY soon, in a few days)

Forgetting to tie them off the rails (Ceroba forgot too) because he was too excited to well... feel like a somebody for the first time, like a real sheriff with a real deputy? Putting his needs and feelings first for once instead of walking outside his house at night and whispering to himself and thinking about every single problem he has on his plate? (I think it isn't the sheriff stuff he thinks about) Thinking he was doing the right thing by doing what he thought would be fun for everyone? Being kind to Clover? Not ditching his posse and just... idk, not running off to have an imaginary adventure with the human kid, with just the two of them? What the heck, guys.

Now, I'd understand if he'd been saying stuff like "Alright y'all, you better listen to everything I say, you understand!? Clover is the greatest thing since sliced bread, while all of you all nothing but a drag! Tch. Losers." Or "If you don't do this and that, you're fired for good! Clover will replace you! You're all lame anyway!" Or "Clover, get over here and join me on this and that! Right. NOW."

Starlo literally never said something even CLOSE to this. Only after Ed left did he let him and everyone else go, then blurted out "I was considering firing y'all anyway!" Honestly what I know about Star is that he's fiery and passionate and just snapped because he didn't understand why they left. He had done everything right.. right? He couldn't, no, wouldn't comprehend that his whole life in the Wild East has been a big fat lie. It hurt emotionally and his coping mechanism were always distractions. So he refused to see what he had (accidentally) caused.

In short, what bothers me is that all blame is put on Starlo and he's the only one who has to say sorry when he genuinely didn't know any better. Some folks just aren't introspective enough to notice people's true feelings and Star's one of them. And even if he's good at that, he's been so foused on this whole Wild East thing to think about that too, on top of everything.

He literally had to just stare off into the distance and rethink all his life choices that led him to this point (based on his letter), when instead he could have been a lone entertainer from the start. I mean, he carried all the comedy and charm on his own anyway (imo). He'd get to live his passion, plus entertain the tourists, plus boost his own confidence, PLUS none of his friends would be stuck at a job they hate! PLUS Ceroba, while still staying at Star's, could have gotten a better night's sleep with only the two of them being roommates! It would have been a win win win win win kinda situation if only they hadn't been lying to him for such a long time and just spoke up openly. Simple as that!

[dykedragonrider]

So I finished Library of Ruina. And I think that's just one of the best games ever. I don't know if I like it more than Lobotomy, but they're good for very different reasons. Either way though, it's incredibly salient commentary on cyclical violence, late stage capitalism, and the impact that humans have on each other.

I think the most logical place to start with is Angela, given that the Library is her EGO. However, it's impossible to talk about Angela's arc and development without discussing Roland's, given how deeply the two are tied and mirror each other. Even their music mirrors the other! To establish more similarity, both have had their lives ripped away from them by someone they perceived as uncaring. Angela was forced to suffer, so she externalized that grief at all the people she could target it at, hoping for compensation in some form. Roland had his future ripped away from him at every turn by a world that didn't care about him, and the death of Angelica caused him to externalize all his grief at the people he thinks could be responsible. Neither of them, however, were able to direct those outbursts at their original target, instead hurting the other people in their lives. Both of them are shaped by pain, Angela takes hers out on the world, Roland conceals his to take it out on Angela when the time is right, when her world is at its brightest. They both have to learn, in different ways, though, that their externalization of it will only cause the same thing to happen again and again. Getting hurt doesn't have any purpose; it just makes you hurt. There's no compensation you will receive for your pain, there's no vengeance that will fill the hole in your heart. Unfortunately, you'll live. What changes them, however, is realizing that you work past that pain, and hole in your heart, by letting others in, those who are good and trustworthy. Friends of the soul. To be human is to be loved, and understood. One of the facets of this game I find beautiful is that it's not a linear path to this for either of them, and if they haven't developed enough as people they cannot forgive and trust the other. Both must be in a place where they can heal, or at the very least, stop themselves from doing anything to hurt another in that moment. Recovery isn't simple, it's hard to be a better person especially when everything you've known is about conducting the pain you've experienced, because the world thrives off doing that. But the cycle's been broken before. The fact it's been broken is proof enough that you can do it again, no matter how hard it is. Roland and Angela are doomed, though. The world cannot abide them, but for different reasons. Angela's, however, is much more central, and Roland gets shunted either way with her, as they're now effectively two halves of the same whole, unified in their understanding of one another and sharing each other's dreams. And it's platonic! I think it could have been fine romantic, but I think given both of their pasts it's much stronger platonically. They are literally removed from the world that hurt them, as it casts them out, but in being removed from it, they're also able to dream outside of it. Angela seeks to create a more just world, following in the footsteps of Ayin. Being able to look past something and see the corrupt roots it took nourishment from, and wanting to excise that, rather than the person that is a symptom of it. Roland wants to write his book about the city, sharing his knowledge of someone who has lived in such a place, and in my eyes, passing the baton to the future with this knowledge; that the little things humans have done to care for one another and the connections we make. Redemption is a complex thing, based on actions, rather than intentions, but they've taken the first steps. And that's a really good note for the game to end on, because well, the seed of light is planted in the both of them now.

On the note of redemption, I want to take a moment to mention Ayin's apology to Angela in the light. Ayin is... Complex, morally, to say the least. Swaddled in good intentions, and with a good grasp on a positive outcome, just with means incomprehensible and immeasurable in the suffering caused. He brought his friends down with him to his prison, and made them complicit in his atrocity. He wanted to be better than every other Wing in the world. but he's done all the same shit. The difference though, is that he was willing to end it, show remorse, and break that cycle. The sin cannot be forgiven, but it can break the cycle, so he took it upon himself to do it, those hundreds of good deeds. And the cycle was broken. Great atrocity was done, but it was broken. Forgiveness is the wrong thing, redemption is as well, I think, he wanted it, maybe he got it, but what he wanted has been twisted by Carmen, truthfully, so I think it's kind of a moot point. But what is the right thing, I think, is understanding, that which he gives Angela. "I'm sorry. And good job." In this, he acknowledges her feelings. Her pain. He can't compensate her for the pain he put her through, but what he can do is acknowledge it, like she does for what she's done to Roland, though inadvertently. He sees her, for the first time, not as a machine, but of what she has been denied of at this point, what she wanted; human. This is also a good time to bring up Carmen, too, as she too is in the Light, hell, she's *the* light. She's who makes people Distort or manifest their EGO, she once again is the source of this, and Angela and her at this point could not be more different. In some ways, Roland's selfishness in wanting Angela back stops her from making the change to prevent Distortions, and the risk for selfishness they pose, as Distorting is easier than manifesting the EGO. Angela cannot be the constructive voice to balance out Carmen to help people be able to fight back, but again, to go back to the ending, Angela's targeting the City now, as an institution. If she can't work against Carmen in the light to stop her, then changing material conditions to create a world less based on pain will help. It further reinforces Angela's humanity to show how far she's drifted from Carmen, and I think it's especially poignant given that Angela was born of Carmen's pain, her still living body stripped and exploited. They're both victims, both of them want the world to change, both of them can understand the other, but they disagree on a fundamental level. So they both must be true to their ideals.

That tangent aside, I think it's important to note how important Angela's humanity is at the end, because she asserts it. Her humanity is presumed, and I think as players, it's been long established, even when she *was* purely machine, as being human is a sense of who claims you. And Angela, by the institutions that rule this city, is dehumanized. All the things we've seen as atrocities they can accept, but are tragic. If Angela didn't give it up, and became a human, they could tolerate her. But because she was not born as one, she is not allowed those privileges. Despite what she's demonstrated, how she's grown, matured, and changed, how she has done things that even the Head says only a human can do, she is denied it. If anything, the Head hates her *more* because of how human she is, and I think that only adds to the importance of Ayin acknowledging her humanity, it shows that even the most awful person we've seen, even moreso than Argalia in some ways, still acknowledges her. Everything else is acceptable. The distortions, while tragic, are OK. It would have happened. Capital can subsume that. But Angela's something they have deemed unacceptable, and she only survives by the strength of those who trust in her and support her. I think it's a really good metaphor, even if it is painfully real, especially in the current age.

And I guess I need to talk about that next, this game's interactions with capital and the City, and in some ways the socioeconomic context of South Korea. The Wings of the City are analogous to chaebols, institutions that centralize the entire economy, and they're deeply corrupt. Each Wing has a Singularity that grants them power, all of them we're aware of rely on human suffering to function, and the City runs on these. Prescripts only add to this, the City having a will of its own, which often propagates pain in one way or another and keeps itself in motion. The entire system is rotten, based on pain, and exploitation. The class divide is palpable in many ways, those in the Backstreets, or slums, aren't even allowed into the Nests, where the richer people in Wings reside, and are often systemically denied ways to lift themselves up. Violence against them is viewed as less important than violence against those in the Nest. The game is deeply critical of these in its portrayals. Angela's new to this world, and while she can make sense of it she also acknowledges the ways it's twisted and broken. Power is everything, you either get a good job or die alone, I think the only thing missing is a strong commentary about gender norms, but gender is a thing never really confronted in game. There's of course, now some legitimate hypocrisy that came from PM (based on my understanding of the facts) in how their criticism of Korean socioeconomic reality, and generally, capital, is less impactful given some of their behavior, but I don't think that detracts from the messages. In some ways, even, part of me is cynical enough to say that this proves a point; that corporations, no matter how much their art challenges the establishment, they are also subservient to it and the interests of the powerful. Of course they'd be corrupted by it, they've demonstrated that fighting against capital directly only gets you eliminated or subsumed. However, I think there's something also worth acknowledging here. That being the idea that challenging capital and its interests, and to some degree, revolutionary behavior, can be done through the improvement of the self, those material circumstances, and your relationships with other humans. There's a place for self improvement and the construction of your community, and its reinforcement, theory, and ideals, and also the hard world of praxis, and fighting against that which you cannot accept. I think in a world where a common sentiment among leftists in the anglosphere is that a revolution is not happening, and we're just going to have to do what we can on a different scale to change the world, this is a thoughtful ideal to communicate, that our relationships with our community, the changes we make to improve it, our capacity for kindness for others and breaking the cycle of violence within ourselves is a good place to start to make those changes on the world. Obviously, there's still a need for other change, but the sentiment that the community and the individual are important for that change is a very useful one.

Which I guess is a good time to talk about the community, in this case, the Sephirot. I think they're really good for depicting the idea that the community is strong when the individual cannot be, as well as philosophical (and of course, theological, given their Kabbalistic origins) stepping stones in the development of Roland and Angela. To use shorthand, they've finished their character arcs. That's not to say they're static, but the Sephirot have had their development back in Lobotomy to become much more developed people. I do wish they had more time in this game, as I enjoyed a lot of them in Lobotomy, but we do at least get more interactions between them and they're not as much main characters so I get it, I just *do* like them. Malkuth manages history, and she's dealing with the fact that people in the City, and her life, are capable of great atrocity. She's trying to document that, but the problem exists in the reality that no one wants to remember anything outside themselves. People are trapped, and cannot learn from history, because the City propagates itself and erases/incorporates those who try to change it, so what's even the point of remembering it. But it's the past that builds the future, pretending otherwise or ignoring it means you only rebuild the past. And you must not despair, you must carve this idea on your heart, and face it. Maintain the will to stand up straight in a world that wants to break you down. Yesod manages technological sciences, and is aware of the dangers it poses, especially in the City. The entire ethos is that the ends justify the means, and that is uniquely terrifying when the means always involve pain. He acknowledges this about the library, and is rightfully scared by it, and wants Angela to understand that what they're doing here is comparable to other things in the city, and it can't be justified away. We have to be thoughtful about things in an ever changing world, and we can't ever just follow what's been set out. Maintain discretion, be rational, and think about "musts" and if they're actually as such. Hod manages literature, the stories of the people. For the Sephirot who involved herself in the lives of others to their detriment, placing her in a space that uses her newfound capability to understand other humans as well as she does is a really nice thing for her to slot into. The fact is, the city sucks to live in for everyone. You join groups, and the groups hurt people. Where you live is always boiled in violence, and you either give up your autonomy and ignore it, or give up your safety and acknowledge it. Everyone wants something better for themselves, to not have to deal with this world that's breaking them. You can't be broken against the wheel, you still have to have the hope to be a better person at the end of it all. Netzach manages art, and he muses on the nature of humans to make it, at the cost of humans. It's, especially in this world, a monument to pain. That's not something that really feels like it should be exalted, but it's what people are experiencing so it's made anyway. Killing yourself in the pursuit of a dream, beauty, doesn't actually create or leave behind that beauty, or dream. It just propagates misery. You've gotta fight to stay alive, you've got to want it, even if you're scared, even if it hurts, even if you've accepted self destruction. You've got to hold onto the idea that there's always something more to do, some new story to tell, a reason to keep making things as humans do. It's scary, being alive, but facing that without fear and living is what gives beauty to our condition.

Tiphereth manages natural science, and she in some ways iterates on Netzach's philosophy. Sure, you're alive, but so what. The world is unfair, it beats you down, nothing could be more cruel than it, and understanding that's a hard endeavor, usually tinted by loss. So, we try and understand it. We look at the world, and what's unjust about it, and we make sense of it so we can change it, to keep dreaming. One day, we will overcome this. One day, you'll wake up, and will be able to face yourself and the world. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, there's *got* to be something waiting for us because that's how humans work. We're driven by desire, and the chase of knowledge, justice, hope, gives life meaning. You just have to know what lights shine for you, and make the choice to chase them, every day of your life. It'll hurt like hell to be well, it's hard to do it again after losing your way. But as long as you're alive, things can change. Life has a meaning, and you must expect to find it. Gebura manages language, and notably, is one of the two Librarians with much stronger ties to the outside world than others. Her floor doesn't touch on language overmuch, but I think she demonstrates that differences with her behavior instead. As she mentions, the Backstreets dwellers speak simply, and that's reflected in her. Gebura is the most brash, honest, and straightforward librarian. She rarely speaks symbolically, and that also lets her uniquely connect with people, because of how she speaks and carries herself. She's the first one to get a fragment of the truth out of Roland, for example. Another element is that her actions speak for her rather often, given her past as the Red Mist. She was famous for her selflessness, and always tried to look out for people weaker than her. It's not the strong who survive, it's the survivors who are strong, so making sure people survive is how you create people who can live in this broken world. Kali was a legend who died in the service of protecting others, she's a very emotional person, to both her strength and detriment, and she's always going to carry that with her. Even if she's failed before, even if it's gotten harder, she still understands incredibly well that violence is a tool. And she wields that tool with courage, in the service of others. Chesed manages social sciences, and has a huge heart. He's as playful as he is determined to hope for a better life for others, and he loathes violence. More accurately, needless death, but the sentiment is identical. Chesed doesn't want people to be hurt or killed. People are all important little pieces, and we all blend together to make our symphonies. He values knowing *why*, for the hope to change things through understanding to make a better world. There's always something we can do with the people in our lives to make a difference, after all. Even if it's small, we owe it to them to do it. That's what being friends is about, after all. If the world wants to pit you against each other, then band together to be strong together. You'll have each other, and can fight the current of the oppressive reality together. Sitting on your hands only makes things worse, you've gotta be able to look and process your reality to change it. And people can help with that. Build a crowd of your friends, and become stronger together. Those who are faithful and trustworthy are what give us the strength to put our bodies on the wheel.

Binah manages philosophy, and is the other librarian with strong ties to the outside world. She's always talking in parallel with other people, but is doing as such to prove a point. The world is cruel, but you can't turn away from that. You must acknowledge the world and observe it to understand it. And you've gotta free yourself from your biases to actually understand it. If you just look for what you want to see, then you can miss the forest for the trees, or see things where they aren't because you want them to be real. Binah was once Garion, an Arbiter, effectively a supercop. I think the analogy speaks for itself there, but she's also interesting because that part of her is long behind her. In her discussions about the world, she also speaks of herself and her wants, as someone who's dealing with the sins of her past, especially given she is in no small part responsible for how things turned out. To put your past behind is to bear the sins of it, and decide to move on. You won't do it the first time, it may take a hundred, or a thousand, but you'll break it eventually. And when you do it, you'll have to do it over and over again. But you did it once. You can do it again. This works on another level again, because Lobotomy Binah is a deeply damaged person. She feels little, save for when she's hurting other people. But in Ruina, it feels like she's moved on from those remnants of being Garion. Like all the librarians, she wasn't who she was at the start of this, but she also has carried the most with her; she's just also had a lot of time to sort herself out, and while she's still imperfect, she's trying with other people now. She's tried to reconcile her past. She's looked at all the horrors of herself and the world, and has started to move beyond them. Hokma manages religion, and is one of the two people responsible for the birth of Angela. Angela is conflicted on him most of all, given that past. To call their relationship filial in any way I think is a misattribution, it's more like he's her least favorite teacher. He's wise, knowledgeable, and thoughtful but they've got a lot of friction between them. He tried to do well by her, but it wasn't enough, and he has at this point accepted that given their past. Unsurprisingly, the thing that defines Hokma is belief in something, or rather, someone. Ayin was the man that gave his life meaning, and he believed in him and his cause, even to his own end. He was shackled to him, but he was freed from that weight when he realized his answer, that building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same. You aren't stuck to it, but you must acknowledge it to move on, and its influences on you, good and bad, are what you choose to pass on. I think the most important element to him comes in his end discussion with Angela, on the idea of pity, sympathy, and love. They're similar forces that foster human connection, but I think another element is that a lot of faith exalts those who we pity; we give them love to raise them up because we find them pitiable. Through that sympathy, and a repulsive emotion known as pity, we come to understand and love one another.

And finally, we tie back to Roland, who manages general works. The thing I most want to center in this discussion about him is the simple phrase of "that's that, and this is this" because it's such an infuriating philosophy for him to follow. We see it bite him in the ass so much, because it's a cope. Angelica makes it clear to him that it's a cope, and he's just relying on it to the point it's become something deeply maladaptive. And once again, it's Angela that breaks him out of this, because through their journeys together, she realizes and proposes to him the counter: That's this, and this is that. It's her gesture to break him out of things wholly, the same way Ayin's words did to her. In terms of broader strokes, human connection is the most important thing on the road to being better people, and I think something that is demonstrated very well through Ruina is the way that it's more important to make a wrong choice and learn from it through people around you than it is to make no choice at all. While this game builds much more on the elements introduced in Lobotomy about the City, I think Lobotomy is a much stronger criticism of capital? This does it, but I think it doesn't do as good in marrying its gameplay and themes to sell the violence of capital, it mostly just depicts the horrors and leaves it there. This works, it's just not as impactful, and I think is a product of this being much less horror oriented. All in all, I chalk this one up to another game I wish I was much more capable of speaking about. There's so much good here, and it's one of the best games about revenge I've played, the next closest being the original Xenoblade. It's incredibly rich, and there's a lot more I have to say, I've just been typing for four hours and didn't want to make an even bigger wall of text.

[burst-of-iridescent]

I sent you the last question. and although I'm not going to argue, there are some points I should clarify.

«that you ship kat.aang.»

You're wrong, I don't ship kataang. I agree that this is a good ending to the show if the creators wanted a romantic ending, because kataang is a story, supported by multiple references and symbolism, about two children, two survivors of the genocide who fought for victory shoulder to shoulder and now go forward together as partners to build a new and better world. this is a very beautiful ending, embodying all the main themes of the show. But I am not an active shiper and would quite agree to an ending in which kataang would not be canonically confirmed.

«what a pity that they didn't end the show with a beautiful, strong, intimate friendship that provided the perfect foundation for a romance to develop.»

Yes, just like the show ended with Zuko's beautiful, strong, intimate friendship with Sokka, Toph and Aang. Zuko and Katara ended the show as friends, but there was never anything in their relationship that Zuko didn't have with Sokka, Toph, or Aang. With Aang, in fact, Zuko has much more parallels, symbolism and friendly interaction (apparently, on this basis it should be assumed that zukaang was robbed).

«it is usually good to provide this little thing called evidence when carrying out analysis.»

it would be my plesure:

"Your sister. She hates me! And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me."

"Now that I know he's out there ... now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice."

These are quotes from the show. it would be great if you revisit the show itself from time to time, if you undertake to talk about how poorly the writers understand the characters.

«their choices are made for them by writers whose job is to make those choices make sense within the scope of their own narrative arcs, and fit the themes and messages of the show.»

which is what we are talking about. Kataang developed literally from the first episode, we saw how Katara's feelings for Aang were born and developed.

 s1 ep 14 Katara first starts thinking about Aang as a potential partner.

s2 ep 2 Katara first offers to kiss Aang, is offended when he refuses and then blushes when she later remembers the kiss.

S3 ep2 Katara is jealous and offended when she sees other girls flirting with Aang, and then rejoices when he invites her to dance and looks at him with loving eyes during the dance.

S3 ep10 Katara blushes when Aang kisses her and anxiously watches as he flies away to fight the firelord.

S3 ep17 The whole episode very clearly mocks the idea of zutara. We see how the propaganda of the fire nation mock Katara rasistic way as a brown girl, overly sexualizing her, showing zutara in his performance and forcing «katara» to say that Aang is like a brother to her.

S3 ep21 Katara initiates her and Aang's kiss. It is important that kataang happens on her terms and it is she who initiates the beginning of their relationship.

 You'll just have to throw these pieces out of the show and ignore the feelings and aspects of Katara's personality to claim that it didn't happen. when I say that kataang and maiko are canon, i dont mean at all "bryke and ehaz wanted to make them canonical and did." I mean, "it logically follows from the characters, from the symbolism and themes of the show." The development of the characters is important, not what the writers wanted.

I'm not going to continue this conversation, it would just be cool if you didn't literally throw whole pieces out of the show and ignore the character of Katara to prove that your ship is something more than just a fanon.

sweetie, there is not a thing you’ve shown me in any of our discussions (and i use that term generously, given that all you’ve done is refuse to engage with my arguments, continue spewing the most egregious misinterpretations, and generally be walking proof of what happens when you don’t pay attention in english class) so far that could convince me that you’re worth giving any more of my attention to.

if you are actually interested, i have addressed all of your “points” and more here — but of course, you never came to me looking for a good-faith, intellectual debate in the first place, given that you didn’t even have the guts to stand by your own arguments without hiding behind anon.

i hope someday you’re able to find joy in something other than bothering strangers on the internet just because they like two different fictional people kissing than you do.

have a good day 🥰

[noorahqar]

A, N and V for the ask game!

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Oooh. Hard question, because I absolutely love almost all of my fics. But I THINK I can narrow it down. To three. (I'm indecisive LOL)

this year it taught me (lost and ambitious) was my first longfic ever (even if it's more of a collection of short stories) and is my pride and joy. The title may suck - I have no clue why it's so long - and there's plenty of flaws, but I'm very proud of this guy. Every so often I reread it and it's always a blast - past me covered a lot of different topics, a lot of relationships, and I think it had some pretty good characterization!

Educational Quandaries and Academic Arson are the silliest things I've written but also by far my favorite of my oneshots. Writing Sky as a miserable college student and hero is my favorite thing ever. It's also quite representative of myself right now - I have exams in a few weeks I should be studying for, and yet… 

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

A solid handful. These are all WIPs, actually, not ideas, but I hope you'll forgive me for considering them interchangeable!

In the TP manga, Twilight's backstory includes him accidentally vaporizing the city he lived in before Ordon. I think they turn out to be alive and well, but fanfiction where him and Legend bond over seemingly destroying entire civilizations they loved. 

HTTYD AU! Kind of. Everything's the same, and Sky essentially has a role similar to that of Hiccup in HTTYD 2 - he's an adventurer, mapping out the region around what will eventually become Hyrule. He also has Hiccup's cool-ass flying suit. I want to give Sky a cool wingsuit. That's it. (This is barely an AU, lol. I'm not an AU person for the most part. Excluding modern AUs.)

Speaking of - fanfiction where Warriors and Legend are in a car, and that car gets hit by lightning. Inspired by the same thing happening to my aunt. It didn't really do much except be frightening, surprisingly? Legend is appropriately frightened.

That's everything notable. The rest are all completed short stories and vague ideas that are more emotions than anything, lol. 

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

As I think everyone who's responded to this comment has said, I love literally each and every comment I receive! There's definitely often some that stand out, though. Some people inform you that you've hit the mark you were aiming for with your writing, others tell you about how your writing affected them personally. The latter always makes me emotional, lol. It's also fun seeing a person comment multiple times in a row on different fics - it's like, HI!! I SEE YOU BINGING MY WORK!!! I APPRECIATE YOU!!!!

Getting comments from writers you admire is great, too. As someone who used to have a huge following on my previous Ao3 account, logically I know they're just some random people who like their blorbos. But I always end up incredibly excited anyways, haha. 

There's also no greater joy than a returning commenter. Often, I've found myself in like… a symbiotic relationship of commenting long paragraphs? It's amazing. I made one of my closest online friends this way, over a discussion about tea in my comments!!

Lord OKAY. I went too hard with these responses, I think, but I have a lot of thoughts. Thank you for asking, Rose!! :D

[dangermousie]

OMG, crazy secondary girl is crazy! She doesn't even have some trauma or something but more like I am 30+ and worked hard and didn't just party and I wish I was 20 again. I mean go to a club or something instead of coming up with plans to break up a couple barely out of their teens.

And then she's talking to her friend with benefits, who she is too self-absorbed to see is in love with her, begging him to seduce some poor naive innocent young girl because it will make it quicker for her to pounce on that girl's boyfriend. WTF

Pardon me for being vulgar but your problem is precisely that your other lips are doing the opposite of drying up. CHILL THE HELL OUT, CRAZY!

I honestly love how unhinged and insane secondary girls used to be. Like earth logic did not work on them.

Anyway, she sends poor FL to Japan for work, calls ML to come help her when she's drunk, drags him to her apartment and he kinda follows tho he really is resistant because she's older and the boss and he's genuinely a human puppy and then pounces on him as he tries to struggle off horrified but eventually hormones take over and I posted that scene before so I am not gonna repost but I am just going to say that the morning after he is literally crouched on the floor bawling by the bed.

And when she tries to touch him literally flinches and scoots away.

And runs off crying...

For fuck's sake, if someone's reaction to sleeping with you (well, you dragging them to sleep with you) is shame and horror you should probably leave them alone? As a decent person but also out of self-preservation. And yet after THAT particular experience she's still chasing him Like how does she think this has any chance of working out for her happily? But also, if she didn't process before that he's basically a kid, or barely past that, this should totally do it here - but it doesn't because she's nuts.

OH MY GOD SHE SHOULD HANG OUT WITH SECONDARY GIRLS FROM STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN AND WINTER SONATA her brain wires are totally crossed.

Oh, and this? I am so pissed no truck of doom runs over over at the end.

PS I find it genuinely fascinating how much of the narrative revolves around the ML's chastity - it's quite a gender trope reversal. Hell, at one point FL considers whether she can get over his ever being with another woman; no such discussions are had about the ladies.

[iceheap]

Alright, so it has come to my attention that there is a live stream with both Shelby and Lexi (LexiMariex) where they discuss that many male friends in the friend group downplayed and discouraged them from making their respective statements or coming out about their experiences.

With this added context, this post makes more sense. I will say, however, that generalizing like the OP is not necessarily the best thing to do.

From what I watched in the VOD (haven't finished it yet but have made it to the 1:31 mark) most of the experiences were actually coming from Lexi's recounting of her respective situation. They both talked a lot about disingenuous activism, and I support their statements about the respective topic 100%. What I'm not necessarily in agreement with is, well... Look. The unfortunate fact is that we do not know who they are talking about. They mentioned friends names who were supportive and who helped them, believed them, and listened to them, but they didn't name those who did not believe them and treated them poorly in regards to coming out about their situation. They did say that all of these negative people were men, but we have no other context clues about who they are.

they also said that their exes were manipulative. They would twist situations in their favor. (Lexi recounted a time their ex was literally groping them in a bar and when she called a friend to come and help her, he pretended it was someone else doing it and ran around like a moron accusing others of groping her, making the friend believe Lexi was making it up and therefore taking her less seriously.)

I understand why this is upsetting and why OP would say that none of these creators care about us and stuff. As it stands, though, we don't KNOW if they were talking about Tommy, Tubbo, Jack, or Phil. Or Charlie, or anyone else who has responded to the situation. As it stands, I don't see this conversation as productive. We have to take things at face value, and if later it comes out that they were disingenuous, then we take that in stride and move the conversation there accordingly. This sucks. I hate this. OP, this makes me as angry as you are. But again, my point still stands. You could potentially be alienating other victims of these two individuals who can't speak out yet due to their mental health. Some probably genuinely didn't know.

Something I have learned over the years is that assumptions only make things worse (I have a diagnosed inability to read social situations and facial expressions, so I have had to rely on facts. I think it's better than neurotypical communication honestly. Just some added context.) Please stop assuming that these specific people don't care about Shelby when Shelby has never singled any of them out. You don't have to like them, but be logical. Logic is the best in situations like these. And logic doesn't always mean being a robot, either. Logic is pointing out when something you are feeling is illogical. Like, "I am furious because this situation makes me feel betrayed and hurt on Shelby's behalf even though I'm not the one who was abused." "I don't like these people because I just don't like them. I do not have to justify myself, but I will also not be overly critical of them or try and find reasons to validate my dislike of them."

I say follow court rules. Innocent until proven guilty. We are beholden to Lexi and Shelby's wishes, as they should be, and they have not singled anyone out because they do not want to. We need to respect that.

This is the only post I will be writing in regards to Wilbur Soot's statement.

It was a shit apology. I'm not going over that. We can analyze it to death but it absolutely reads like the apology of someone who is now represented by some label's legal team. The only thing I'm thankful for is that he did not release text messages between him and Shelby in some attempt to distract people. She doesn't deserve that embarrassment.

But, I really hope you read this, I need you to stop treating this like a party. I need you to stop giving every CC that speaks up about this a hit post or hit tweet by liking it.

Almost none of these people liked a single post of Shelby's or uttered the words "I'm so sorry for what Shelby went through" They waited until it was safe to say something. They waited until they could write a "coming in with a steel chair reply." They waited until they knew it would look good.

They revealed that Wilbur has always been manipulative, a narcissist a bully and mean to his friends. They revealed they've always thought he was a bad person. They've revealed that they don't think he's taking accountability while they stayed silent.

And not just silent for a few days. Some of these people are saying they knew for better for weeks, months, years that he was a horrible person. And they said nothing. They let people spend time and money and energy on a community of a person they knew was dangerous and cruel and they said nothing.

They didn't need Shelby Shubble to come forward and say how bad of a person Wilbur Soot was. They didn't need Shelby's story, if they thought he was a bad person, to not appear in videos with him or be in a group channel with him or mention him on stream or tease content with him or be on Anvil Cards or follow him on all social media platforms.

But they did anyway because, to these content creators, it's better to be silent and let a bad person flourish than cause "drama" online.

These people do not give fuck. I need you all to please take this advice that none of these online creators are worth the time and energy you put into them. You don't know what else they're sitting on. You don't know what they've done. You are lying to yourself, right now, if you think Phil or Tommy or Tubbo or Jack or whoever your current fave is wouldn't have been fine saying nothing if Shelby hadn't spoke first. You're lying to yourself if you think whatever new smp or content creator group you're currently into doesn't have horrible shit that they're all choosing to ignore.

The amount of manipulation required by these content creators to maintain the devotion and investment of their communities is horrific.

Do not trust your mental well being, your comfort, your whatever to these people. Any of them.

[shannoneichorn]

I know this is the wrong site for it, but regarding the LRT/LRB on educating yourself widely...

Yesterday, my broad reading paid off a little.

I "waste" (invest) a lot of time reading the news blurbs in my daily bulletin at work that don't directly relate to my actual job. At home, I have spent a lot of time on social media--I spent a decade on Twitter following people I wanted to learn from or who had viewpoints different from mine. (Less so here--I just want to have a good time here, but my friends have broad interests and share.)

Recently at work, I got asked to step out of my lane and work with a different group on a specific task. It's not an entirely new-to-me area (far from), though I've never worked with the leadership there before.

We were speculating on how the future could go, and I brought in questions about how fusion developments could affect power rates and therefore workflow decisions and how climate change could affect siting considerations and how having different visualization and analysis techniques might affect workforce diversity.

And he seemed kind of surprised. Because those are not considerations I've ever heard discussed in similar areas.

They're things I picked up from "wasting time" on the internet.

I've also used what I've learned to advocate for DEIA and digital accessibility at work (not that I've made much headway yet).

I've found the information passed along my online interactions extremely valuable. It's delightful to be broadly educated.

That said, OP was bemoaning the attitudes that STEM students want to avoid humanities classes. The irony here is that I really appreciated my undergrad curriculum minimizing humanities requirements.

Because the US school system does a great job of draining joy from every field, I went into college thinking that humanities in academia were about writing pointless essays and getting critiqued on formatting and regurgitating facts.

No shade on my teachers--I liked them (mostly). I'm grateful that I got to learn things like evaluating biases in sources and logical fallacies, which have been fundamental to life in the last decade. (And probably before that, but I just didn't care yet.) But I didn't connect to the "great literature" and history.

So, I sought to avoid most humanities classes. Except German, which I adore, and fiction writing.

I wish, rather than enforcing requirements, curricula could let a topic be a gateway drug to the broader world.

"Sure, kid (past me), sure, you only want to study fiction and German. But while you write that book, you're going to have to look into history and politics and the government and military and what attitudes different audiences hold and..."

And it turns out, that's a lot to do while studying engineering. Maybe that's why I was so determined to take advantage of a curriculum with a minimum number of additional requirements. And I know I wasn't the only engineer to do so.

It's good to get exposed to a lot of things, and there's definitely a good argument for not letting people slip through the cracks. An engineer/compscientist with no understanding of the peopley parts is dangerous...but so are people who don't understand the technical things they encounter. (See: deep frier-frozen turkey combustion. See: dumping water on a grease fire.)

You'll never learn enough in an undergraduate course of study unless you catch a lifelong love of learning. That's really the only requirement a curriculum needs.*

*pretend that was my closing line. It's really good. I'm proud of it. I do not mean it literally, because you can't just teach someone to care. You have to come at the caring sideways, and that's what the curriculum is actually for.

[pannacottawarrior]

in a sort of related note; at the christians or any other religious people who follow me (idk if there any; i have a small following anyway lmao) just;;;

please be aware of the kinda questionable things they tell you to do;;;

like please don’t feel like you’re doing anyone a favor or ‘saving’ someone by showing them the ways of god;; like go ahead and TEACH them about your religion if they ask for it but just keep in mind of how you word things; go about teaching them and etc;;;

wearing down your partner, friends and etc. into accepting your religion isn’t okay

[teaveetamer]

genuinely, do you think maybe you should step back and take some time and think on what this whole situation has become, what should’ve just been standing up to harassment and telling people to block and move on has become a vitriolic and toxic space. since this whole thing started ive seen people use the antisemitic lizard rhetoric to make jokes, ive seen people imply edelgard and the empire is comparable to nazism, make ignorant comments on japan, and people compare real world events and problems to this game, all within the community you interact with or interacts with you. maybe you should reassess what you and people around you have been saying and if you want to continue this whole thing or maybe let it end.

you should step back and take some time and think on what this whole situation has become

Friend, I didn't make the situation anything. I called out harassment, and now I'm back to doing what I have always done: talking about Fire Emblem and other media. Frankly, this situation wouldn't exist at all if certain individuals in this fandom didn't feel empowered to come and bully and harass. Most of us have done basically everything in our power to avoid having people see our content, even going so far as to come up with custom tags and censor character names, and still we've literally had these people come here, take screenshots of our blogs, and repost them to their blogs or spread them around on other social media platforms for months to point and laugh and mock and encourage harassment. Many of my mutuals have been getting harassing messages in their inboxes for months. Harassers have been stalking our blogs looking for things to get angry about and bring back to their friends. And we've been very kindly ignoring it and hoping it goes away. But it's very clear that it hasn't stopped and that it's getting worse. And it's not even just the "bad" takes they're going after. They're going after people expressing the most milquetoast stuff, like saying having character flaws makes a character more interesting.

So what do you want me to do, exactly? Because I've honestly tried. I didn't tag any of my posts for years (I do now, specifically so if people don't want to see the discourse they can blacklist it). I block and mute or simply don't engage with people who are getting on my nerves, except in some very specific exception cases like calling out the harassment that has already, again, been going on for months. So what's the next logical step? Stop talking about a game series I love? Stop having opinions that other people don't agree with, no matter how mild? Do you really think that's a reasonable solution?

ive seen people use the antisemitic lizard rhetoric to make jokes, ive seen people imply edelgard and the empire is comparable to nazism, make ignorant comments on japan, and people compare real world events and problems to this game, all within the community you interact with or interacts with you.

Not sure who you're referencing here specifically, since I haven't seen anyone I follow say this kind of stuff as of this moment in time. Don't you think it might be a bit more effective to take your grievances directly to them instead of hiding behind anon on a blog two steps removed from anything being said? Firstly, because I honestly believe that people deserve the opportunity to look at their own behavior and decide for themselves if they need or want to apologize or make corrections. Secondly, because what, exactly, do you want me to do about what other people are saying? If there's a specific post of mine that seemed to trigger this kind of discussion then you haven't pointed it out. If there's something I've said specifically that you find objectionable then you didn't share it. You haven't even given me the names of the people saying these things so I can investigate for myself whether or not anything I've said might have influenced them, or ask for clarification, or talk to them about the things they've said (or even know if what they've said is as bad as you're implying). There's nothing actually actionable here.

Anyway anon, I'm sorry you're upset about the fandom situation. I understand how it feels to log in and see horrible things being said. I mean, I also don't browse the general FE tag or even some character tags because there are also people going around saying stuff like "Abyss is a concentration camp", "Dimitri is delusional and needs to be put down", people making fun of "those nasty fujos", calling Dimitri "manpain Biden", comparing Dimitri to right wing zealots or "blue lives matter" or homophobes or whatever other BS. Just do your best to curate your experience. Blacklist, block, and use tags properly.

[localcactushugger]

Is anyone else amazed that Hawks was only "undercover" with the Leauge for 6 months at the most.

Not only that, one and a half of those 6 months were spent just trying to gain enough trust to infiltrate.

I know it seems like much longer since Hawks made his Manga debut 2 years ago. But he had such a short amount of time on this mission. Hawks was introduced in the manga with his role being the "double agent". We literally have not seen Hawks outside of his "spy" role. Even when he is interacting with other characters outside of the Leauge, his "mission" is still happening in the background.

It seems Hawks made contact with Dabi right before the Hero Billboard chart, this is when he starts trying to infiltrate. His interaction with Dabi in the warehouse begins immediately after Endeavors fight with High-End:

During this time, Dabi is testing out a High-End Nomu for doctor Ujiko. Which means by the time Endeavor fights High-End, the My Villain Academia arc is already happening. Hawks is assumed to be one of the "members" Dabi is trying to recruit:

The Leauge has already made contact with doctor Ujiko, and the Doctor sends Dabi to test his High-End Nomu out on Endeavor (even though Dabi didn't know it would be Endeavor) while the rest of the Leauge battle Machia. At the time, Dabi still doesn't trust Hawks at all and he keeps the hero at arms length. While Dabi and Hawks are sharing ominous phone calls, the Leauge is hauling ass and it take's Shigiraki a month and a half to finally beat Machia. (The MLA is "defeated" too):

After a month and a half of phone calls (while the Leauge gets their asses handed to them by Machia in the background) Hawks is finally allowed into the Leauge when the battle of Dekia City is finally over. Dabi let's him in because Hawks "kills" Best Jeanist.

But there's a problem. By the time Hawks is let in, The Leagues numbers have drastically increased. They have an army at their side, multiple High-End nomu, and are now called the MLA:

Hawks blames himself, saying that he was "too late". That so many civilians would be alive now if he had been faster. He couldn't round up the Leauge when they were a small group, and now they have an army. A powerful one:

He's in too deep now. And you can see the stress on his face. I bet he never expected to be part of an army. He was simply tasked to round up the Leauge members while they were a small group, but the MLA was completely unexpected. Still, he decides to improvise and do the best he can with the shitty cards he's been dealt. It's not like he has another option at this point.

So he slips a coded message to Endeavor ASAP. Basically saying "yo, in four months shits about to go down. Ttyl I'll keep you posted lol". He can't tell the guy in person now, because to make things harder, he has camera's on his wings. (and even though he's being watched by camera's, he also gets followed by guards at the mansion):

After Hawks relays the massge, he stroles around the mansion with his bodyguard and heads towards the cafeteria. With a little eavesdropping (courtesy of his feathers) he also finds out that the Leauges plan is to "Destroy Everything" in four months:

After he relays the massage to Endeavor, he listens to the Leauges plans of destruction as his thoughts run a thousand M.P.H.

Because now "capture the Leauge" has turned into "Holy shit I now only have 4 months to take down a full fledged terrorist organization/army from the inside-out by myself while I'm being monitored 24/7 with absolutely no privacy & also a full time job as a hero + a public image to maintain. And I can only contact my fellow pro's about this mission through code because if the villains find out I'm a double agent I could be killed and Japan could be destroyed. Also some heros have even joined the MLA so who on my own side can I trust? Only a select specific few for now I guess."

If you thought things couldn't get worse your wrong.

Because around 2 months before the raid Hawks' heart (that wants to be free & has a genuine desire to help people) takes shit a bit too far when it makes him get attached to a certain powerful villain.

Hawks quckily finds out that Twice is easily the second most powerful villain in the Leauge after Shigiraki. He's an S ranked villain and he'll kick your ass with the power of friendship anyday. He's a great guy, but him and the Leauge are still planning on doing horrible things within the next 2 months. Twice is going along with it because he wants to stick by his friends, which y'know, is a cool motive. But considering that fact that the people Hawks is trying to protect ALSO have friends, and family's, this makes shit difficult and sends Hawks on some major guilt trips. (I would show all the panels of Hawks sadly smiling as Twice calls him a "good guy", but alas- Tumblr has informed me that I've reached my 10 image per post limit)

And tbh who wouldn't feel bad about suddenly getting attached to such a golden retriever of a man and then realizing you'll have to double-cross him at some point! I'm not surprised Hawks would feel this way, especially considering the fact that he never wanted to take on this mission in the first place.

Hawks is very much a people person, and he HATES lying even when he has no other option. This is a man who got "shivers up his spine" when he had to put on a serious face while handing Endeavor a book with coded messages inside. He literally felt icky and thought "this is low even for me" just because he had to use a deadly expression so that Endeavor would get the gist.

And when the Commission made their "proposal" about this mission, Hawks' first reaction was to call them out on their B.S. for asking him to put civilian lives at risk. He even admitted that he was feeling bad about sending Tokoyami away while talking to Deku, Shoto, and Bakugo. Hawks felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with his student, but considering that things with the MLA were starting to get riskier, and that Hawks literally handed Endeavor a book with a coded message inside about an uprising 2 seconds later, I can see why he wouldn't want to risk Tokoyami being around him. The fact that the camera's on Hawks' wings caught his interactions with Endeavor & the students also makes the creep‐factor worse. The MLA saw everything AND talked about it in a meeting later. Continuing to train with Tokoyami would put him at risk.

I love the complexity of Hawks' character, he's incredibly intelligent, logical, and intuitive. But at the same time throughout this entire mission his heart is constantly battling with his mind. Even when he knows he has to grit his teeth and do something shifty, his heart never fails to put up a fight with his logistics. Honestly it's been a pattern for a while that Hawks' sympathy always "Trips him up" in some way, so idk why I didn't see it coming around to bite him in the ass later.

(Tbh it's hard for me to see Hawks as a this super "Morally Gray" person that the fandom likes to paint him as because of a mission that he only spent 6 months on. I personally, kinda see Hawks as a "good person" who works for a "morally gray" agency. But that's a whole different meta)

Basically, Hawks getting attached to Twice wasn't a surprise. But considering how powerful Twice was, along with his role in the League's destructive plans (He was a lieutenant in one of the MLA's "Units") the discourse going on in Hawks' mind makes sense. By this point Hawks has already figured out all of the MLA's "Units" along with the three "bosses" that support the lieutenants of those "Units". It's noted that those "bosses" are extremely powerful and can match the strength of the heros as well. It took Hawks an entire month just to figure out all of the "Units" members. (I would show the panels explaining all of this but I'm at my photo limit)

All of these members were tasked to follow their lieutenants and bosses, and the plan was to attack all of Japans major cities at the same time. Once the cities were destroyed and chaos had set in, Redestro and feel good inc. Would distribute support items to the remaining citizens in the name of "self-defense". It would create a country full of discourse and destruction where Redestro and Feel good inc. Would rule from the shadows. But Shigiraki would be the main leader. He would become "king" and sit upon a "throne of rubble". (At least this was the MLA's plan, Shigiraki himself just kinda wants to destroy everything. But I suppose this would make things easier for him to do that.)

needless to say, the stakes have been upped excessively. But it took Hawks an entire month to gather this info.

This post is honestly just me marveling at what an M.V.P Hawks is

My guy literally only had 4 months to take down an entire terrorist organization for the inside-out. AND he was being monitored during that entire time. He figured out the MLA's intentions within the first month of being there. And it took him another full month to go into detail and figure out all the members, bosses, and lieutenants, for each of their "Units". Hawks even went as far as to immerse himself in the MLA's ideology, and he had in-depth discussions with the MLA's members. HELL HE EVEN FAKED HIS CO-WORKERS DEATH JUST TO GET IN.

AND HE PRETTY MUCH IMPROVISED ALL OF THIS SHIT!!! The original plan was to capture the Leauge when they were a small group! But by the time Hawks managed to infiltrate, The Leauge already had an army! They were a full-blown organization! And Hawks just kinda rolled with it??? He just kinda bullshitted his way through??

Like, "okay I'm now apart of an army I guess. The Leauge is now an entire organization and they're planning on destroying Japan in March. Let's see how this goes. I'll just have to make this work"???

LIKE HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD! WHAT A FUCKING MADLAD

[mermaidsirennikita]

waiting patiently for ur 365 days review 🙏

Soooooo I haven't been able to get to some of my asks due to busy times + friend stuff but!

I really, really enjoyed it. Does it top the first movie? No, but how the fuck could it possibly. The first movie was a fever dream brought to life, and this is... a follow up to a fever dream. I also personally feel like, due to the nature of the mafia erotic romance subgenre, there's really only so many places that they could have taken this movie, and while some things bugged me, I still was like... I don't know that I could have expected much different.

Obviously, the first chunk of the movie where it's just like. Fun! Friends are having fun! "Santa seems to have forgotten me baby"! Domenico and Olga fucking while he's covered in food on Laura and Massimo's dining room table while they're house sitting (mind you, Domenico is EMPLOYED by Massimo) and then acting like... That is something they were not only justified in doing, but CORRECT in doing! Massimo giving Laura a clothing company for Christmas and her being like "okay, you can put a toy in my asshole, how about that". Erotic golf! We love this!

The fact that they even DID Christmas in this franchise makes me so.... so, fucking happy.

I'm honestly not sure how I feel about Laura not telling Massimo about the baby. There is the logical aspect of like... Glossing over the fact that Massimo would most definitely threaten the doctor until he told him every minute detail regarding her condition. I feel like he honestly could have found out about the miscarriage by accident, because if she was truly in bad condition, it probably would have been mentioned to... somebody? Not sure how Italian healthcare works in that regard, so idk. Yes, it's private and really nobody needs to know, but... I feel like it would've come out in the mix. I can see why she didn't tell him, because he's certifiably insane and that's actually probably a good call. But I think that to a degree, the drama would have been enhanced by him knowing.

On the other hand, I can also see where being like "yes, let's discuss the miscarriage at length" would've taken away from sexy honeymoon montage, and honestly? We deserved that. Laura deserved that.

Laura acting like she had anything other than the miscarriage to be unhappy about when she was living a life of luxury, wherein her best friend even moved to Italy to get her own mafioso fuck machine, was... annoying. But I expected it, tbh. I've seen soaps. When a woman marries a dangerous man, she always ends up complaining about him being protective because other dangerous men are going to come at him through her. The movie takes a *lot* from daytime--like, I would argue that the first movie feels more like a mafia dark romance, whereas this one felt a little bit more like a traditional soap opera? And I didn't mind that at all, this is just one of those irritating beats where I'm like... I wish you could have conflict other than this, but this is the conflict I expected, so I'm not *shocked*.

I haven't read the books, but book readers made it seem like Nacho was a lot better than he was? Which, like, I don't know--I understand that in the books she ends up with Nacho. But to me, I literally cannot understand how you make that happen in this movie. I already thought that would be a tall order for the movieverse because Michele and Massimo made such a big impression in that first movie, and the people who are into this kind of shit are going to glom on to the Original Daddy no matter how hot Nacho is (more on that in a minute). However, I didn't expect that Nacho would not only... not actually fuck her in this movie, but WALK AWAY FROM HER WHILE SHE IS BLEEDING OUT LMAO. That in itself seems like he really.... is not a contender. And Massimo was arguably the most wounded party in this entire movie, so.... He comes off as pretty sympathetic, tbh.

Nacho was just boring for me. Like. It doesn't matter if Simone is really hot, which of course he is. There just... The thing about Massimo is that he's not just hot. He's played, so badly, with all the passion and verve of a man giving it his all, but a guy who went "twin twist? Sure. I'll just suck my teeth a lot and you can make my hair sexily mussed". It felt like Nacho was NORMAL, and I don't want NORMAL, I want a complete deranged lunatic who again says "SANTA MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN ME THIS YEAR BABY" completely straight. Completely straight. I had just taken a sip of sangria when he said that, and I just had to look at my friend beside me and not choke in the moment. I don't know if I will ever be as happy again as I was when that occurred.

So Nacho just... Being a guy? Who doesn't even swim in the nude, but in various wetsuits? Who shows up dressed like a gardener on a porn set? (Actually, his costume in his introductory scene was delightful, but it does not appeal as much to me, a materialistic woman whose fantasy is to be swept away by a rich man, as much as Massimo's various suits did. I'm not into the gardener angle.). Obviously, Nacho was not a gardener, but he honestly seemed like kind of a dud the whole way through. Just boring. Just "I'm the good guy". Stop it, Jacob Black, I've done this before.

Also--we must say. The lingering kiss on his sister's pregnant belly? She is either not his sister and is pretending to be someone she isn't (possibly, seeing as he wasn't actually a gardener) or she is his sister, and they are fucking. Either way, that's his baby. Nobody kisses their sister's, nay, their friend's, pregnant belly like that. Literally nobody. Shut the fuck up.

Love Olga and Domenico, am all for their love. The moment he sauntered onto the screen with a rose between his teeth I was like "yes, this can stay, we love this angle". I assume 3 will feature their wedding?

Laura's trashy mom can fuck right off. You're gonna act like this man jetsetting you around the world and giving you everything you want wasn't your favorite person until 30 seconds ago?

As a soap viewer, I guessed the twin angle as soon as Massimo~ was caught fucking Anna. Like. Duh. I think they could have leaned into the twin angle more, and I hope Adriano lives because he was delightful. He got a shoulder shot, so he should be fine. I do think it's objectively hysterical that Massimo was like "I have a brother and I'm embarrassed by him" and not "I have a murderous identical twin who should be kept in an asylum". Fucking amazing.

So yeah. Had its flaws. Is not as insanely amazing as the first movie. Nacho is a dud. But I had a great time, and I will be rewatching it probably 50 times before the next movie comes out.

[terubakudan]

This may be an old article from 3 years ago, but these cultural aspects/observations still apply even today. And though this is strictly a Chinese perspective, a lot of these everyday life bits are observed in Overseas Chinese communities in countries such as The Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. as well as countries heavily influenced by Chinese culture like Taiwan, Japan, and Korea.

I've always liked learning about other cultures and making comparisons between how things are done East vs West. Which probably stems from growing up with two cultures and Mom raising me on American movies xD

So the irony is if you asked me how many Chinese, Taiwanese, or Hong Kong actors I know, chances are I know as much as you do xD Like Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, and that's about it. But if you asked me about Western (specifically American and British) actors, then I have a useless brain dump of movie trivia and who was with who in what movie xD

Hmmm, both Taiwan and the Philippines are two distinct cultures but both look up to a certain country and are fascinated by that. In Taiwan's case, Japan and the US for the Philippines. In both cases, this is due to being under the rule of those countries in their history. Taiwan being under Japan for 50 years, and the Philippines being under Spain for 300+ years, followed by periods of American and Japanese rule. To put it simply though:

Taiwan is "mini-Japan with a very Chinese culture".

The Philippines is "former colony of Spain with lots of American influences".

But unlike the author, I've never set foot in any Western country, so my understandings are strictly what I've observed in media, which while it can be accurate, doesn't compare to actually experiencing the culture.

Some further elaboration on most points:

#1 We quite literally use chopsticks for everything. We use it to pick rice, viands, vegetables, fruit, smaller desserts, almost all the food you can think of.

But where do you put your chopsticks when you're not using them? Just put them on top of your bowl or flat on your plate. But do not ever stick them vertically. It's taboo, since it looks like incense sticks, which we use to pray for those who have passed, like our ancestors or during funerary services.

#3 The majority of Asia is obsessed with fair/white skin. In my time at the Philippines, I grew up watching all these Dove Whitening commercials and my classmates often commented on how fair my skin was, how they envied it etc. In Taiwan, girls often say they don't want to 變黑 (biàn hēi) 'become dark'. Japan and Korea too are not innocent of this either (if their beauty/skin products weren't a dead giveaway).

People here at Taiwan often mistake me for being from Hong Kong or Japan (as long as I don't speak Mandarin with my heavy accent xD). A Taiwanese classmate of mine joked that she often gets mistaken for being from Southeast Asia due to having a darker complexion. And while I laughed it off with her at that time, looking back, I now realize she was lowkey being racist. xD

And believe me Filipinas have mentioned literally being told 'your skin is so dark' here in Taiwan, or being given backhanded compliments like 'you're pretty despite having dark skin' and...*facepalms*

My point is, beauty is not exclusive to skin color. People who still think that are assholes.

#5 Not to say we don't have salt and pepper, but yes soy sauce and vinegar are the classic condiments you see on the table, be it at home or at a restaurant.

And if I may add, Taiwanese love their pepper. xD If you ever get to eat at a night market or a smaller "Mom n' Pop-style" restaurant here, some dishes/soups tend to add quite an excessive amount of pepper. Not like anthills, but quite liberally and way more than average. Enough that you see traces of pepper at the bottom of the food paper bag or swirling in your soup. xD

#6 I know this all too well from personal experience. In my years of studying at Taiwan, I always had roommates. 3 in my first school (I graduated high school in the Philippines pre K-12 so I had to make up 2 years of Senior High), followed by 2 in college, with the exception of 1 in freshman year.

My college did offer single person dorms but at around 9000 NTD ($324) per month compared to around 6000 NTD ($216) per semester. Because I wanted to save, the choice was obvious for me xD. But ah, this doesn't mean I don't value personal space, in fact I love having the room to myself, and since both my roomies would go home to their families every weekend, weekends were bliss for me xD

And you don't have to be friends with your roommates (that's an added bonus however), you just have to get along with them. I was quite lucky to have really great roommates all throughout my schooling years.

#9 In the Philippines, we do. Owing mostly to American influences and maybe being predominantly Catholic? xD

#10 *sigh* Chinese parents and parents from similar Asian cultures tend to put too much emphasis on grades, so much that kids could get sent to cram school as early as elementary. This is because what school you get into could literally affect your future job opportunities, and while that's not exclusive to any particular country/culture, I feel it's especially pronounced here in Asia. I'm really lucky my own parents weren't that strict about it. However, if your parents don't point the mistakes out to you, chances are you'll do it yourself, if you're an Asian kid like me anyway. xD It just becomes a habit.

#11 My family is an exception to this. xD We do say 'I love you' directly, but complete with the 'ah eat well ok?', 'don't scrimp on food', 'sleep well' and similar indirect words/actions of affection. We were doing 'Conceal, Don't Feel' before it became popular. xD

#13 I'm kind of confused about this but this has sort have changed over the years in which eye-contact is now more encouraged. But don't stare, especially at elders and authority figures. Sometimes it's just shyness though. xD And I've observed this with my own Taiwanese friend, especially when I'm complaining or ranting to her about something. xD I'm a person who likes to express my opinions strongly, which tends to scare/alienate some of the locals here, as doing so is kind of frowned upon. Thankfully, she does listen and offers her take on things.

#14 Ah this. xD In the Philippines, this is a common greeting known as beso-beso, and I freaked out too when an auntie did that to me. xD Needless to say, Mom lectured me later on what that was. ^^"

#16 Along with #3 another crazy beauty standard. In my view, people always look better with a little meat on them and when they're not horribly thin. Asia still has a loonng way to go with accepting different types of bodies if you ask me. This combined with modern beauty standards has made the pressure for women especially to 'look beautiful' higher than ever.

I know many people love them but please, starving yourself or glorifying eating disorders is never OK just to get this kind of 'ideal' body. I'm not part of the Kpop fandom, but even I think when idols get bullied just for gaining the least bit of weight among other insensitive comments, that's really going too far.

#17 'If you want to make friends, go eat.' <- I couldn't agree more. In the Philippines we have a greeting: 'Kumain ka na ba?' (Have you eaten?) . Similarly in Taiwan, we have 吃飯了沒? (chī fàn le méi), both of these can mean that in the literal sense but are often used as greetings instead. By then which invitation to having lunch/dinner together may or may not follow. Food really is a way for us to socialize and to catch up with what's going on in each other's lives. Not to say we don't have regular outings like going out to the mall, going shopping, etc. but eating together is a huge part of our culture, be it with family or friends.

And while I'm at it, some memes that are way too accurate good to pass up xD

Parents, uncles, aunties alike will fight over the bill xD

Alternatively:

You just space out until your name is called xD

My parents are guilty of the last one. Logic how? xD

#18 True. xD I like giving compliments out to people but I have a hard time accepting them myself, though I've learnt how to accept them much more now than before. We're kind of raised to constantly downplay ourselves so we often say things like 'ah no no' or 'I'm really not that good'. The downside of this of course is that it can come off as somewhat fake. xD

Again from personal experience, that same classmate who made the lowkey racist remark, she was good, she was on the debate team, was a honor student, knew how to mingle with people, but she downplayed herself way too much, while praising me but I honestly thought that she never really meant it from how she treated me. She wanted to keep me around her yet make backhanded compliments at me and she didn't want me socializing with my other classmate who is now my friend. *sigh* It was only after discussing this with one of my roomies did I realize how this 'excessive downplaying' might come off to people like me who more or less grew up with a more 'Westernized' mindset. I'm not saying brag about your achievements but don't be overly humble about them either, which can also be a turn off.

#20 We do tend to be a lot more realistic on how we view things, neither entirely optimistic nor pessimistic. We try to think of things practically and often analyze things on pure logic. A downside of this however, is that Chinese people can be overly practical. Taiwanese for instance don't like to 'find inconveniences' and generally keep to themselves, meaning, they won't help you in your hour of need even when they do have the capabilities. Sounds really harsh I know, but in my 6 years of living in Taiwan, while this doesn't apply to all the people, a lot of them really do only find/talk to you when they need something.

So for some people saying Taiwanese are 'friendly', that's BS xD If you ask me, Filipinos are infinitely more friendly, and again while not all, generally make more of an effort to help you when you need it. I really felt more of a real sense of community during my years growing up in the Philippines compared to Taiwan.

#21 Children do tend to stay with their parents well into college and adulthood, since Chinese families are indeed very family-oriented, in a lot of cases, grandparents often live under the same roof as us as well! And it really does save a lot of money. I see there's a real stigma in the US when it comes to "living with your parents", but that's starting to change especially because of Covid and having more and more people move back in with their parents.

Housing unfortunately is pretty much hella expensive no matter where you go, and Taiwan is no exception. Steep housing prices and the very high cost of raising a child (schooling + buxiban fees, etc.) contribute to a very low birth rate and thus an aging population like Japan. It's not uncommon to see both parents working in Taiwan.

#23 I'm an overthinker myself, but I totally agree with the author that the best is to strike a good balance between these two. Which I guess is why I love drawing or any other related creative attempts, it helps me be more spontaneous or well, creative! I like to remain intellectually or artistically inspired.

#24 Is French high school really like that? xD My friend did watch SKAM France and more or less got a culture shock from what was depicted on the show. I can confirm however that most high schools both in the Philippines and Taiwan require students to wear a uniform, only in college is everybody free to wear casual/civilian clothes.

#26 Ah this is part of our Asian gift-giving etiquette xD We always open gifts later after the event/meeting and in private. Never open them in front of the person who gave it to you or in front of others. This is to prevent any 'shame/embarrassment' that may result both to yourself and to the gift giver. I know this may come off as something weird since some people may want a more honest response or immediate feedback when it comes to gift-giving, but that's just how it is in our culture. You're always free to ask us though (in private) if we liked the gift or not ^^"

#28 I want to say the same goes to drinking, partying, and drugs however xD Those are things which are still frowned upon in our culture. And to be honest, whenever I see those in movies, it does kind of turn me off xD It doesn't mean that we're "uncool" or "boring", we just think that there are much better or healthier ways of "having fun".

#31 Is this true in France?! Man I would kind of prefer that instead of people being on their phones all the time xD This kind of goes with #20 in that Chinese are overly practical or logical, and don't read fiction as much as nonfiction. My Taiwanese friend is an exception though, she's a bibliophile who loves the feel of paper books compared to e-books, and it's a trait of her that I like a lot. Both the Philippines and Taiwan however have a huge fanbase when it comes to manga and anime though.

I'm all for reading outside of "designated reading" at schools especially. Reading fiction improves your vocabulary too, and can be quite fun! It helps you imagine and really invest in a world/story, and if you ask me something that I feel Westerners are better at, they're more in touch with their emotions and creativity, and are thus much more able to write compelling or original stories. Believe me, I've seen a fair amount of Chinese movies that rip off Western movie plotlines xD

#33 Nothing much to add on here..except that since I'm a "weird" person, Mom often jokes that she got the wrong baby from the hospital. xD

#35 True. While I agree with the care and concern that your fellow community can give you, the downside of this is we tend to only hang out with our own people, e.g Chinese with Chinese, Taiwanese with Taiwanese, etc. I've seen too that it's especially hard to make friends in Japan and Korea as a foreigner. Not only is there the language barrier, but the differences in culture too. In a way, Asians can be pretty close-minded on getting to know other cultures or actually making friends with people from other countries. I know this all too well being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, being neither "Filipino" enough nor "Taiwanese" enough. xD It's more of people here being too used to what they're comfortable with.

#36 Oh this is something I feel that Chinese students and other students from similar cultures should really improve on. xD How will people respect you if you don't speak your mind?

I felt bad especially for my Spanish teacher in college, granted it was an introductory course (Spanish I and II) but the amount of times that our teacher had to prompt a student to recite/speak even with clear hints already made her (and me too) extremely frustrated. The thing is, these are college students, I personally feel they don't have any reason to be so shy of speaking and technically by not doing so they're slowing the pace of the class too much and a lot of time is wasted.

Unfortunately you can't always be very vocal with your thoughts and opinions in most Asian cultures. I would say strive for that, but at the same time, play your cards well, especially if you're in a workplace setting.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading and here's a cookie! 🍪 I'm not perfect and there's bound to be something I missed so please let me know if you spotted anything wrong. Feedback/questions are very much welcome and please feel free to share about your country/culture's differences or similarities!

[donutloverxo]

First time

Kinktober day 15 - Virginity kink

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - So anon asked for step dad Steve and I can't do that to Steve. This started out as step dad ransom but then me being me couldn't go through with it🤦‍♀️ so he's supposed to be your stepmoms husband which still makes him your step dad, I think.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Warnings - 18+ONLY! smut(m/f), dub conish, painful sex, unprotected sex, implied age gap, loss of virginity, bloodplay.

Pairing - Step dad!Ransom Drysdale x reader

Word count - 2.3k

Masterlists are linked in the bio!

“Oh! Don’t act like you care. I can tell you wouldn’t give a shit if I left for an entire year. I’m not one of your barely legal bimbos you can manipulate however you like,” Karen ranted on and on to Ransom. You didn’t know what they were fighting about today - you didn’t care to find out either.

“God! Would you fucking give me a break? All you do is yap your trap all day long,” he snapped at her.

You looked at the main door, to leave your house you would have to go through the hallway where both of them were having their ‘lively' discussion, which you had no intentions to be a part of.

Karen gave him a deadly glare - which literally gave you chills even though you weren’t on the receiving end of it.

She walked closer to him, until she was only inches away from his face, “For your own good,” wrapping her palm around his chiselled jaw “don’t forget your place. You do not curse at me or yell at me.”

He didn’t say anything back, simply holding her unwavering glare.

She looked at the stairs, her face instantly lighting up into a faux smile upon seeing you. “Darling, what are you doing there? Come here,” she said extending an arm to you. You walked down to her, she engulfed you into a hug, soothing a hand over your head, “Mommy has to go away for a while, to Paris for fashion week. I know that’s not something you’d be interested in.”

You shook your head. No, those events were a bit too stuffy for you. You dared to sneak a glance at Ransom, he was fuming. His jaw clenched hard, his face and neck flushed as he heaved. You weren’t sure if that rage was directed towards you or your stepmother.

“Fuck this shit,” he spit before leaving and slamming the door behind him. You cringed at the loud noise it made. You were relieved that he was gone, given what he had done in his impulsivity and rage, you didn’t want to be around him when he was that angry.

“Well?” Karen’s question snapped you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“You better not be going to meet that Jack or John or whatever.”

“His names Jeremy, Karen, and I really like him. If you got to know him - ”

“I don’t need to know him. He does not bring anything to the table. He doesn’t even deserve to breathe in the same air as you.”

“A rich guy can treat me badly too. I don’t know why you think I can’t be happy with a normal person.” you shook your head. She of all people should not be questioning your taste in men.

“His fathers a fucking high school teacher, honey,” she scoffed. “No, I won’t have you dating a nobody.”

“Well, Ransoms a friggin' murderer!” you screamed. “What kind of man conspires to kill his own grandfather?!”

She had married him just months after he was declared 'not guilty' of not one, but TWO murders. Although, everyone knew that he definitely did it.

You begged her not to marry him. But she seemed to be completely smitten with him, besides she had never really valued your opinion or seen you as an adult.

“Say what you will about Ransom. But he has the name - he’s a Thrombey, he comes from old money. As annoying as he can be - he’s not hideous to look at either, I suppose.”

That was the only thing you might be inclined to agree with. You hated that some part of you was attracted to him. Even though, he was a terrible person. He treated ‘the help', the people who raised you and cared for you as if they were beneath him.

He treated Karen like shit - which she may deserve, you knew of her affairs and the one French boyfriend she was visiting under the guise of business.

He was however, completely indifferent to you. He never got in your way, sometimes you could feel his eyes on you, following every move you made. Sometimes you wondered... if maybe... some part of him found you attractive as well.

You knew you weren’t much to look at, especially compared to your stepmother, but then why else would he be staring so much?

Was he plotting to OFF you as well? To get you out of his way. You’d be inheriting most of your late fathers estate.

***

You closed the door behind you, as quietly as you could so as not to wake anyone. You got home a little later than midnight. You weren’t used to staying out that long but it was one of your best friends birthday.

“What were you doing out so late?” You yelped as you heard his voice.

“Ransom! Oh my gosh, you scared me,” you tried to catch your breathe.

“It’s after twelve. Who were you out with?” he raised a brow. “And what the hell are you wearing?”

“Huh?” you looked down at your bodycon dress. You weren’t used to wearing clothes that tight but this one just seemed so pretty and perfect to capture Jeremy’s attention. “It’s Karen’s design,” you shrugged. It was provocative but classy and respectable which was your stepmothers brand.

“What kind of message do you think you’re sending dressing like that? If you want to be the talk of the town - ”

“Ransom, oh my god! It’s just a dress and I’m - I’m a virgin!” you confessed. It wasn’t something you were ashamed of - why would you be?

“What?” his eyes widened and his mouth gaped.

He had known you were a pretty little thing since the moment he met you. So shy and demure and pure. Of course you’d be a virgin. Like a perfect present waiting to be unwrapped.

You almost smiled at that. Stunning Ransom like that made you feel smug for some reason. “Yeah. I’m saving myself for the right guy.” you replied in a small voice, averting his gaze and looking at the carpet.

He took two long strides and walked over to you, before you knew it he had a firm grasp on your waist, pulling you against his hard chest. “And what’s the right guy like, sweetheart?”

“Someone - uh,” your brain blanked, having him that close to you, feeling his warm breath on your face almost made you black out.

He bent his neck till he was closer to your ear, “Well, don’t lose it to Jeremy or whatever. He won’t even know what to do with a sweet thing like you.”

You gasped, trying to push him away but his stance was unrelenting. “That is so inappropriate, Ransom! You’re married!”

He grabbed at your failing wrists, pinning them behind your back, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. Karen and I have an arrangement. You ever been kissed before?” he asked, his tongue peaking out to kick his plump lips.

“Wh - ” you swallowed a heavy lump of air, looking away from him, “No,” tears streaming down your face.

He chuckled, licking a firm stripe up your cheek, moaning at the taste of your tears. “We’ll fix that tonight, princess.”

You shuddered in his hold, it finally hit you. He intended to have his way with you. “Karen!” you screamed at the top of your lungs.

“She’s not home, sweetheart,” he smirked, pushing his knee between your legs, “I thought you wanted this? I heard you saying my name while touching yourself. I’ll do better than your little fingers ever could,” he grinded his knee against your core.

You whimpered, scared out of your mind for your life and ashamed. Ashamed of being caught, of being aroused and getting more and more wetter. Your hips rolling against his knee to seek more friction.

“That’s a good girl,” he praised, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth till it hurt and then releasing it with a pop. “If you keep being good and take what I give you - I’ll make you feel good too.” He held on to your forearm, dragging you up the stairs towards his room.

“No, no... not in your room. In mine, please,” you whimpered, his nails digging in the flesh of your arm. They might have an 'arrangement' but you doubted Karen would appreciate you doing the deed in her bed.

“Fine with me,” he dragged you along, locking your door behind him as he pushed you down on your mattress.

He pulled his t-shirt over his head, quickly discarding all his clothes. You couldn’t help but shamelessly ogle him. His broad shoulders, defined chest and abs. He was bigger than any boy you knew. Your jaw dropped at the size of his cock, slapping against his abdomen when he pulled down his boxers.

“Like what you see, princess?” he smirked.

Hovering over you, his hands tearing your dress apart, you feebly tried to stop him, “That was expensive, Ransom!”

“I can just buy you another one,” he winked, rolling your panties down your legs.

You rolled your eyes. Yeah, with my own money.

Your arms flew up to your naked chest and mound, to cover up and save your modesty.

He growled, pulling them away and pressing them on the mattress above you. “These better fucking stay here all night, understood?”

You were too afraid to do anything but nod.

“Never popped anyone’s cherry before... this should be interesting,” he snaked a hand between your bodies, pinching your clit causing you to jerk away from him.

He didn't bother fingering you or preparing you, he knew you'd be tighter without it - he had about enough of foreplay anyway.

“Please, be gentle,” you requested, looking up at him through your doe eyes, pleading him - you had never felt so utterly helpless.

He cruelly laughed at your misery, his lips curled up in a devilish smirk, “I don't do gentle, kitten. You'll take what I fucking give you - ” he growled positioning himself between your legs, brushing his leaking tip over your chaste, untouched folds “and then thank me for it. Like the slut you are.”

You couldn't even begin to grasp or point out the logical fallacy of a virgin slut as his cock plunged into your heat, piercing through your virginity, splitting you in half.

Your back arched off the bed, you slapped your hands over your mouth to keep from screaming. It was painful, that was all you felt - pain. As he held onto your waist, his fingers digging in your flesh, his hips pulling out and then driving into you with an unrelenting pace.

You could not stop crying, or twisting your head from side to side. Knowing it was all you could do - he wouldn’t stop - no matter how much you pleaded. You weren’t sure you wanted him to stop.

He pressed a few kisses and nips to the crook of your neck, sucking on a spot as you held back a moan.

He propped himself up on his elbows to look down at you, your eyes and nose swollen, your make up running down your face - you looked more beautiful than you ever had before.

“You look so pretty when you cry, kitten,” he cooed, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your lips.

He kept driving his cock into you, searching for that special spot as you kept mewling under him.

His heart swelled with pride, nobody’s ever fucked you before, he’s the first man that’s ever seen you naked or to be inside you.

“Do you want me to stop?” he stilled his hips, “Just say the word then.” He knew you wouldn’t.

You sniffled, shaking your head, “No, keep going, please.”

His lips curled up in a grin, taking some kind of twisted pleasure in your misery, “You’re something else, kitten.”

“Oh,” you closed your eyes, your toes curling, your legs holding onto his waist as you felt your orgasm creeping up on you.

Ransom leaned over you when he felt your heat convulsing around him, pulling your earlobe between his teeth, “This is the tightest little cunt I’ve ever fucked,” he grunted, driving each word home with a powerful thrust. “You like that, kitten?”

All you could do was nod, the pain was well as much more subdued now but you were still sore and exhausted. “Yes, I like it.”

“We’re going to do this every night from now on.”

He pulled out fisting his cock over you - he wasn’t going to impregnate his newest plaything - his white, hot spend painting your stomach and titts.

Your fingers swirled the sticky substance around on your skin, you were curious to see what it tasted like. You clenched your legs shut, your pussy still tingly. This was not how you planned your first time to go but you had no regrets.

You knew you were absolutely wrong to think so but being desired by Ransom gave you a strange kind of pride.

You gasped when you heard a click, sitting up on your elbows you looked at Ransom clicking pictures of your pussy with his phone.

“Wh - what’re you doing?” you tried to close your legs but he kept a firm hand on your knee.

“Just need a souvenir,” he responded, taking some more of his cum on your body and then putting his phone in his pocket. He swirled a finger around the blood on your inner thigh, bringing it up to paint the crimson on your mouth, “Go clean yourself up. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

You smiled as he kissed you, “Okay, Ransom.”

Even with your pussy freshly fucked - you couldn’t wait for his next visit.

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Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤❤

[bestloversfan]

Hi! I'm new to the Everlark fandom. Having only finished the books and the movies, I'm now working my way through all the meta I can find. And I love your blog, thank you for providing a thought provoking material.

There's one thing I'd like to read more about, and oddly enough, I haven't seen it covered much in the Everlark meta: Katniss' behaviour (attitude) towards the highjacked Peeta after he had been rescued and returned to her. Have you made analysis post about it, maybe? If so, would you please redirect me there? Or to any other posts you might know on the matter.

This part of the book and Katniss' attitude upset me so much, it felt like she failed Peeta. Failed to be there for him when he needed her the most, and only after Haymitch berated her, she felt ashamed. I was so sad that it took Haymitch to open her eyes, that she didn't find it in her on her own. I'm not saying she owed Peeta romantic affection, love or relationship, but I think she owed him human support and investment - and that she failed to give him. She chose to remove herself completely from the situation and fled. She only got back on track when Peeta started showing definite signs of getting better (after he arrived to the Capitol mission). At that point, I honestly wished for Peeta to heal but for Katniss to live him alone, once and for all. It devastated me so much, that I still cannot get over it. When they got back together in the Epilogue - it was logical and according to Katniss' nature, Gale was right (she needed Peeta to heal, she couldn't function without him, so she stayed with him) - but it felt like she didn't actively choose Peeta, but drifted towards him because he was there. It felt more like it was about what she could take from him than give him (because she loved him). And with the gap that the lack of her support for Peeta created when he was highjacked, this leaves me kind of bitter. I wish this thing was somehow addressed in the the book, but it never was. The films kind of played the whole thing down because in the film we didn't see Katniss' inner thoughts on the matter, which in the books were the worst part of it all.

Don't get me wrong, in the end it's good they grew back together and healed each other, I'm glad. I liked the epilogue, with all the hope it brings. They made each other happy. She made Peeta very happy, and it counts for something.

But my issues about the gap between the highjacked Peeta and the absent Katniss still stand.. And I haven't seen them addressed anywhere. Maybe there's another side to it which I overlook.

Maybe you or your followers don't mind elaborating or redirecting me to the existing discussions on the matter.

Sorry for the long rant and thanks a lot!❤️ I just can't stop thinking about THG and Everlark 😅

Hi! Welcome to THG/Everlark fandom! I'm glad you like my blog. 🥰

As for your question, yes, we've discussed this matter (the way Katniss treated Peeta when he was hijacked). Many times, to be more specific. I'll redirect you to some metas about this topic, but I want to talk about a few things beforehand:

First of all, I understand your upsetness at the way Katniss treated Peeta when he was hijacked. She really didn't treat him fairly, and it was a good thing Haymitch openned her eyes. But you're not considering one thing: She was suffering A LOT. What she did was selfish, but understandable. Can you imagine what it feels like to lose someone you love in the way Katniss lost Peeta? She never wanted to love anyone, because she was afraid of suffering. But she fell in love with Peeta anyway. And then he was ripped away from her, and brainwashed into believing he HATED her. It was so much for her to bear, and she was just a TEENAGER. Also, in the beginning, she couldn't do much to help him in his recovery, because he was a threat to her. He literally tried to kill her, and he couldn't even hear her name without freaking out. So, when we consider all of this, we can empathize with her and understand why she acted the way she did.

As for what you said about her choice for Peeta, I definitely don't agree with that. She didn't choose Peeta just because "she couldn't function without him". She chose him because she loved him, and had been loving him for awhile. What you said suggests she never felt anything for him and only chose him because she was emotionally dependent on him, and it's not true. She started loving him long before that. In Catching Fire, when she said she needed him and kissed him like she never did before, their relationship became 100% real. Nothing she did from that moment on was an act. If it weren't for the hijacking, they surely would have got together a lot sooner.

By the end of MJ, Katniss said she needed Peeta to survive, but it's not to be taken literally. What Suzanne Collins was trying to convey with that passage is that Katniss wasn't choosing only a partner, but also the future she wanted to have. She needed hope, and only Peeta could give her that. Gale couldn't. And yes, she made a choice. She didn't choose Peeta just because "he was there". She chose him because she loved him (don't forget she told him "real"), and needed him. And it would have happened anyway, as she said herself. She could have chosen to be alone (romantically) and to be only friends with Peeta, as they used to be before the Quarter Quell. She could have chosen to be with someone else. She could have chosen to try and approach Gale (she knew he was in d.2. She could have tried to contact him). But she didn't do any of these things. She CHOSE to be with Peeta. Despite all of her fears in regards to romantic relationships, she chose him. And this is one of the many evidences that she loved him. Also, the fact that she only talked about what Peeta could give her in that passage doesn't mean she wasn't willing to give him anything. Throughout the books, she helped him and saved his life so many times. And even when he was hijacked, at some point she recognized her mistake and started helping him in his recovery. She was a flawed person (who isn't?), but she cared deeply about him. And in the epilogue, Peeta said "we have each other", which suggests Katniss was there for him too (I'm pretty sure she was).

Well, this got longer than I intended to (haha!), but I hope I helped you understand these points. Now, as promised, here are the links to the metas:

Meta by @buttercupisbrainless: Link

Meta by @everlarkedalways: Link

Meta by me: Link

Meta by @safeinpeetasarms: Link

There are more metas about this topic, but these are the ones I could find right now. If anyone wants to add another meta, feel free to reblog this post with it. 😉

Thanks for your ask, anon! Feel free to send me an ask whenever you want to know my opinion on something. 😊