#like it's cool outside of combat. but the more complicated combat gets the more i hate the mouse-controlled camera

[ravensilversea]

Not me trying to figure out how to remap my keybindings to work for me when changing the mouse keybindings is apparently not allowed

[bullet-prooflove]

Been loving the jack abbot fics soooo much!! Crazy idea to add to the dr faye/ mrs abbott universe, but I've been thinking about them as new parents, like they got pregnant later in life (I'm assuming 40s, but I suck at guessing ages lol). And basically them adjusting to new parent/baby and being doctors.

So this is probs not the answer you wanna hear but as my followers know I shoot from the hip. I honestly do not think they want children and here's why:

Jack sees horrible shit in the ER, < think of the little girl drowning and the college kid Nick, who ended up brain dead. (and that was just in a 12 hours shift) I think he would be terrified of wearing his heart outside of his chest (how having a kid is often described by parents to other people) esp with the world turning to hell in a handbasket. He couldn’t imagine anything worse than bringing a child into a world like this.

Also he’s late 40s in a career that basically demands all the time and mental bandwidth he has, he chose that because it’s the closest to a battlefield he can get. We see it in the shooting ep where his combat training kicks in and he starts the disaster protocols, he thrives and excels in that environment, the adrenaline of it. If they had a kid he would more than likely have to give that up to be around for it and I honestly think it would be determinantal to him.

Faye is probably ambivalent on children. I feel like she has a few nieces and nephews, she likes being the cool aunt. She’s worked really hard for her career and having a child past 35 comes with complications, she would have to slow down and switch to private practice for her child’s safety and that’s not where her heart is. I think she’d be unhappy with that choice but would ultimately do it for her family.

If it did happen for them, it would be a surprise baby and it would cause a lot of upheaval to their lives, it would mean a complete change in professional trajectory. I think Jack would soften and be very loving over it but I also think it would be his greatest tragedy because he knows how hard the world is now. He would be devastated that he’s brought something so innocent into somewhere so cruel and I don’t think he’d ever be able to reconcile with that.

[least-evil-resident]

medieval resident evil au where Umbrella is a cabal of dark mages trying to unlock the secrets to lichdom and go mad learning secrets from the undead eldritch horror outside of space and time

Chris and Jill are Knights in service of the Order of Stars, Leon is a beginning town guard, Ada is still a spy, honestly not much is different

If you give them ttrpg character sheets then it's even more fun

Would guns be wands, badass Crossbows, or straight up magic, or different based on the game? They could also just be guns but that wouldn't be nearly as interesting.

Consider pistol=dagger, rifle=longsword, shotgun=axe? Grenades could be hand bombs or magic.

Or pistol=hand crossbow, rifle=light crossbow, shotgun is either special bolt or a spell

Beneath the cobblestone streets of raccoon city, where gaslamps and auto-carriages ramble, is the lair of an evil sect of mages developing spells in secret to transform humans into beasts

Could be very bloodborne-esque. Lots of fire and brimstone. Maybe STARS are more like paladins, and the bsaa is an order of Templar type organization.

If we go dnd 5e rules, Chris is a fighter for sure, Jill is like a rogue I guess? Leon could go either. It could be fun to make Claire like a sorcerer since she gets the grenade launcher

In later games I think Chris definitely fits either paladin or barbarian, where Leon goes for more rogue/maybe ranger vibes. Jill seems more rogue+fighter but magic rogue is cool, maybe artificer. Claire would be sorcerer multiclass I think. Keep any mages low powered that way.

Sherry in 6 is maybe warlock or aasimar instead of Cleric? Blood hunter would be cool. Rebecca starts as a Cleric in 0 for sure. For a low magic setting where research and Rituals are matched by quick, small combat spells, how high of a DC do you think enemies would go?

Of course, in a classless system like gurps or all flesh, this would be a lot less restrictive. What would be the best system for resident evil normally? What would be the best one for its fantasy au?

Wesker very much fits the low-fantasy vampire theme. He has a reflection and can step in he sunlight but wow it hurts his eyes. Chris rolls a 20 to punch a boulder to death.

Leon has the lucky feat or 20 in dex or something to pull off his stunts. Chris also gets Charisma as a leader for the bsaa, so paladin is up his alley. Leon's secret service requires more rogue skills, but his time in operation javier trains his skills as a Ranger under Krauser maybe?

Jill and Claire both get grenade launchers, but Jill is more Rogue with her lockpicking so it makes sense for them to switch level ups later on as claire learns more professional skills for rogue training.

Barry definitely hits fighter/barbarian with his heavy weapons. Jake is maybe more monk/barbarian but with something like a dhampir ancestry feature? Sheva is maybe rogue/fighter or paladin fighter since thats when chris starts taking paladin levels. Billy has to be rogue/fighter I think, or maybe fighter/rogue, if he even gets a second class. It would almost make sense for him to be pure rogue and rebecca be cure cleric, since she retires to become a researcher and hes never heard from again. Helena is I guess just plain rogue, hinting at her role in 6, while Leon has his ranger levels. Piers is more rogue/Ranger (or fighter archer). A lot of the one off teammates just don't get super interesting classes as a consequence of their limited appearance. Carlos... Fighter? Just fighter is fine.

Now, the problem here is that each game starts off with little to no equipment for various reasons. In the case of our spell casters like claire and jill, we can't just de-level them between adventures in the resident evil campaign. But we could give them more limited access to spell components to match the resource management of survival horror.

This is more complicated outside of dnd 5e, where a game like All Flesh Must Be Eaten has very different spellcasting rules, so you'd need to stray from a low-magic to a straight low-fantasy setting. Alchemist tools and one use spell scrolls replace your grenades and spell casting maybe? That's the issue you'd run into with treating the setting as one campaign instead of each game as an individual campaign though.

The easiest one to do is RE8. It's literally the same. Ethan starts 7 as a human Commoner, takes levels in artificer as the game goes on, since that one introduced crafting, and comes back very subtly as a human variant with a few new levels in fighter from chris' tutoring. Hey that means we can give Hiesenburg an artificer friend! Class buddies ♡ hiesenburg is probably artificer/sorcerer, giving him charisma and intelligence. Dimetrescu is maybe barbarian if she even gets class levels.

I don't think we can justifiably say Rose is a variant human, I think she gets her own custom ancestry features for this. Sorcerer also feels better than Druid for her, but a couple levels in - you guessed it, rogue! Cover her gun and Stealth skills. You get a lot or rogues and fighters in low powered/low fantasy settings, who knew lol

[kinghijinx22]

YOOO they put out a poster for the new Ghost in the Shell adaption and it looks so good!

Beautiful art style that is the most faithful to the original GITS manga that any animated adaption as ever looked. I'm super excited to see an animated GITS that actually keeps the tone from the manga which, is still serious when it needs to be and has complicated sci fi stuff but is also, and often very silly.

The Major's new design is so badass and is the most that she's ever looked like her original manga self as well. Her outfit is so cool, she has the classic hair but it's a lighter blue, and a very interesting aspect of her design is her arm being the most visibly robotic she's ever looked outside of seeing her body being built or when her arms get ripped off in every adaption, like she's usually all covered skin and stuff. Also one other thing to point out, of course it's the red Fuchikoma in the background from the original manga, and not the blue Tachikoma from SAC.

For the sake of comparison, every version of the Major-

Her design in the new poster looks especially how she looks with this outfit from the manga-

The black armor is pretty similar which, full combat gear Major is always the best in every version but the long coat over it and the visible robot arm just makes it even more badass. Very excited for this new, more manga accurate adaption of Ghost in the Shell. Seeing what is pretty much the manga Major actually being animated is going to be really cool too, and looking forward to seeing her sillier side actually being adapted. Also hoping that she's still an explicitly polyamorous bisexual with infinite rizz and that her girlfriends make an appearance, I mean they did in Stand Alone Complex as well.

The whole art style looking very 80s/90s is so good and very unique for something released today. Keeping that 80s flair but with a modern polish, going by this poster looks so fucking cool and I'm excited to see it animated.

[minweber]

Musings on Custodes: Assorted Headcanons

Decided to get together some of the stuff that's been rattling around in my head for a while and which doesn't seem significant enough for a topic of its own. As usual, everything presented here is basically just my headcanons for Custodes, only some of which are supported, to varying degrees, by current lore:

Custodes don't communicate with each other in combat - as in, fight and perform complicated group maneuvers without talking to each other. This is barely a speculation, because the codex straight up says that they fight silently. There, however, it is used mostly to denote that they don't have a battlecry, and they do also use Thoughtmark, so can still very much communicate while staying silent. I think it would be very cool and fitting to push it further, and take it to mean that they actually don't communicate, as in don't pass any information to each other in battle. Instead, whenever they fight as a group, each of them just knows what each of them should do, and has an absolute certainty that everyone will do their part, perfection in all things and all that. They essentially operate like a reverse hive mind, with each individual thinking for every member of the group, and it all always syncing up through the magic of Posthuman Big Brains. It is very silly, but the exact kind of Dune-like super brain powers that 40k in general seems to find so irresistible.

Custodes despise the Minotaurs - like, as much as they can despise someone who is not an actual traitor... Maybe a bit a more. Have you ever noticed how High Lords of Terra, the mighty rulers of the Imperium of Man, are not in full control of the very world from which they rule? How there is an incredibly powerful military force, over which they can exert exactly zero influence, always lurking around their seat of power? And how they seem to have created for themselves an army spear-wielding superhumans with a hellenistic motif, armored in red and... bronze? Yeah, I have no idea how intentional this was on part of writers of old Imperial Armour, but Minotaurs are 100% poor man's (lord's?) Custodes, made to imitate control over something that was forever beyond their creators' reach. And I do oh so believe that Custodes themselves would see it, and man oh man would that grind their nuts. They aren't keen on Astartes in general, and the ones that are essentially parodies of them, bound in service to those they would certainly consider lesser men? Oooh, superhuman patience or no, there would be salt.

Most custodians are what we would call some variation of aroace - this one is a full on headcanon of mine, based on nothing save my quixotic quest for depiction of warhammer posthumans that is more than just "very smart and very scary when angry". Whenever we talk about "more evolved human beings" in sci-fi context (I genuinely hope that my slight obsession with this topic is viewed solely within it), it is worth remembering that evolution is not like, a scale. Nothing is just "overall better" than anything else, it is all about adaptation to circumstance and environment. So too custodians are not simply "humans, but better" - they are shaped specifically for their role as Emperor's companions. Which, I think, would have interesting effects on those parts of them that lie outside this purpose - like experiencing attraction very differently from most humans. Here I should hurry to add that I am using the term aroace incredibly broadly, more as a closest available analogue to something that maybe doesn't exist in observable human experience, rather than in all of its defined nuance. But yeah, I like to imagine that a lot of them don't experience romantic and sexual attraction at all, their brains and body chemistry just not wired for it anymore, and those that do, do so in ways that may be alien to us. For example - being more detached about it, their feelings blending the line between emotional and intellectual, their love or lust less... visceral than ours can be? Something that is not more or less, but instead just different.

They do not idolize the Emperor, and may actually be pretty critical of him - Wait, stop, I can explain! Yeah, we begin to really veer off now - but I do so love characterization rooted deeply in contradiction. I don't challenge the idea that they are unflinchingly, mind-numbingly loyal to him and would commit any heinous crime on his word. But I also like to imagine them having the same sort of "predisposed towards the same personality traits and flaws" thing that Astartes have with their primarchs. Having their unique personalities all grow around the same powerful inherited core. Basically, they all see him in themselves - and if they thought that he was infallible, then... Well, it's not as interesting as the opposite, is it? What if instead they see him as a deeply flawed figure, and see those flaws reflected in them, but at the same time are too much like him to admit either? Isn't it delicious - to be able to see how deeply flawed and toxic are the ideals that you follow, and yet be shaped by them to such an extent that you cannot help but desperately chase them?

Kind of flowing logically from the previous two - Custodes are capable of experiencing attraction, but never to each other. It's just all too easy for them to see all the parts of him, of themselves, that they don't like in others of their kind. In fact, maybe this goes beyond attraction - maybe this is the reason that they have trouble truly working together and trusting one another?

[illprotectyou-hearteyes]

So, the opening line of MI2 is: "Well, Dimitri, every search for a hero must begin with something every hero requires: a villain."

It's not a line I've given much thought to, what with it hardly being a strikingly original observation.

But giving it a moment, the line makes me think about how much more complex the MI series' approach to that dichotomy is than 'Good Guy vs Bad Guy'. It's far more 'a guy fighting for his humanity vs an institution that seeks to subsume him into their oppressive functions.' Ethan didn't rise from the ashes to combat an Evil Overlord or even an Evil Organization which he attacks from the outside. Dude wants a dog and a family and house, but he is trapped within an organization that leaves no options besides being complicit with its abuses or fighting like hell to subvert both it and the threat it launches him at.

That's why the villains I find most compelling in the series are ones like Jim Phelps and Solomon Lane—even Sean Ambrose in a few select moments—who contrast with Ethan specifically in how they navigate the moral death-trap that is the IMF or similar organizations. (Don't get me wrong, Owen Davion is a top-tier villain when it comes to building a sense of threat and cruelty, but by MI standards I don't find him the most thematically compelling. If I'm going for analysis, I'm more likely to dig into Musgrave and Brassel).

Still, to return to the opening line of MI2: it doesn't refer to the 'creation of a hero', but rather the 'search for a hero'. And, well, I suppose the IMF as an organization is, in its way, always on the search for heroes. But however unintentionally, it finds them not through identifying external villains to toss agents at and see who sticks. It finds and forges them through being the jailor who traps individuals inside it, and villain who will break and turn them within it unless they find the heroism to fight.

And for all its theatrics which these days tend play as rather more funny than cool, for all that its aesthetics make it easy to dismiss, that dynamic is fully present in MI2—more present even, I'd argue, (at least at this point in my rewatches), than in MI3 or MI4.

And personally, I find that dynamic really compelling, not to mention relatable. After all, I suspect it's a rare privilege among us everyday folks to find an individual nemesis against whom to sharpen our skills and wits and moral fiber. But living within systems of oppression we cannot escape, within which complacency and obedience tips all too readily into complicity with horrors, against which we learn to stand in whatever small or large ways we find capacity for even when we cannot find the means to transform it—well, my friends and I know a thing or two about that.

[yunoteru4ever]

A look at the anime adaption of "Reign of the Seven Spellblades"

The anime adaption of Sakae Esuno's ongoing manga, Reign of the Seven Spellblades, is currently airing. These 13 episodes will hopefully serve as the first season of many to come... but time will have to tell on that front.

Although this is an adaption Sakae Esuno's manga, the sad truth is that the RotSS manga is not an original story by my fav mangaka. Instead, his manga is itself an adaption of an already-successful series of light novels written by a totally different author — Bokuto Uno, who previously wrote the series Alderamin on the Sky. The point is that although this anime is an adaption of Sakae Esuno's adaption, Esuno ultimately has a limited influence on the storytelling. He basically provides a system of organization for the episodic storytelling and an overall storyboard for the visual presentation. He also was the first to portray some of the side characters in any artwork, so he likely is behind their visual design.

But that's about where his influence ends! It's not like we can expect a series of insane cliffhangers, shocking betrayals, and characters who're playing psychological games like we find in his self-written works.

......................OR CAN WE??

Yeah okay maybe CAN expect some of that, but we'll get into it.

A quick overview: Reign of the Seven Spellblades takes place at Kimberly Academy, an English* magical school for would-be mages. Students begin at age 15 and generally attend for seven years. Most students get in by virtue of their family's magical lineage, but there are also those who get scouted for their aptitude as well as those who come from families with no magical background, meaning that they have to pass a difficult test to attend. Classes include alchemic potions, magical combat, magical creatures, herbology... if you were to assume this all sounds rather like "Anime Harry Potter," you'd be PRECISELY right. At first, that is.

We follow a group of friends who are quickly pulled together by an incident that occurs during the year's opening ceremony. Our two primary leads are:

Oliver Horn, a dark-haired nice guy who's studied magic before coming here and has some mild skill as a result. He's eager to help his fellow first-years, but he's followed around by a mysterious bodyguard for reasons that are initially unknown.

Nanao Hibiya, an Asian* student who is very much a "fish out of water" in this environment. Nanao was scouted by a member of the school's faculty while she was fighting as a samurai on the battlefields of Muromachi-era Japan*; she doesn't know much beyond war, or even much outside of her home nation.

Our semi-likely heroes.

*RotSS takes place in a world that mirrors our Earth's map and borders despite not sharing our country and continent names. So in actuality, the series doesn't call England "England" or refer to Japan as "Japan." Still, these fake-named countries share the history, culture, and geography of the real ones they're based on, so I'm using the real-world names for simplicity's sake. They're the same in every way EXCEPT their names.

This is all merely the tip of the iceberg, because I'm not going to get into issues like the struggle for demi-human rights or the fact/concern that 20% of the academy's students historically die before they can graduate. There's even a labyrinth beneath the school that contains some cool beasts as well as a very disturbing, are-we-really-doing-this one that I'd rather not talk about, THANK-YOU-VERY-MUCH.

But I digress; the first six episodes of the anime primarily focus on getting to know more about the world, the complicated politics within it, how some of the magic works, and — of course — the personalities of our characters. This includes explaining what exactly a "Spellblade" is. (For the record, it's not a magic sword.)

It's not until the end of the sixth episode— much later than the standard "three-episode rule" will carry any skeptical viewers — that we get the reveal that changes what we thought this show was about. And that reveal provides the story with the cynical edge I've come to expect from Sakae Esuno. (Naturally, in the light novels this is a reveal that drops at the end of the very first book.)

SPOILERS FOR Reign of the Seven Spellblades BELOW THE CUT

In an amazingly left-field twist, we learn that Oliver Horn is actually the son of a woman who championed equality among mages and wanted to stop the encroachment of magical beings from other realities who were entering our world and taking over communities. She was trying to change the landscape of the culture — especially in regards to how it was causing suffering in Europe's most oppressed and impoverished communities. But when Oliver was just a child, his mother was betrayed by seven former comrades. They tortured her and murdered her, with the final strike being executed by her best friend... who is now the headmistress of Kimberly Academy.

In fact, all seven of those former allies of Oliver's mother are now on the faculty of the academy. And Oliver is attending this academy solely to kill them all. To that end, he's manipulating said faculty through his actions, carefully maneuvering their attention to serve his interests. I won't get into exactly how he can successfully kill these mages who're at a far higher level than him, but suffice to say that the answer is QUITE satisfying.

Oliver's not even his mother's last relative, as he also has cousins and other allies embedded within the student body who are here to support his quest. Once he kills his first quarry, he's declared the leader of their group. But even as OIliver continues on his mission, the lessons of Nanao's samurai code has gotten him wondering whether the path of vengeance will truly satisfy him.

Frankly, I hope it continues to satisfy him, because it sure as hell satisfies ME. The way Oliver takes out his first victim is such a left-field twist and utterly goddamn awesome. This show went from "anime Harry Potter" to "HOLY FUCK this is unbelievably badass" in less than 10 minutes. And the flashbacks to his mother's horrific betrayal aligned very well with Sakae Esuno's established cynicism regarding human nature.

Now that we have a mission of revenge and murderous justice to follow, the whole setup is instantly much more than what it first appeared to be. And it's impressive how they managed to keep the biggest reveals completely hidden until it was time to spring them on the audience while simultaneously still laying groundwork, obscurely hinting at the twist to come without ever tipping their hand.

So yeah, I'm a fan of this. I imagine I'd like it even more if it was totally Esuno's baby, because that's just how much of a mark I am for his work, but this is still great stuff with a really nice cast of characters at its center.

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter.

Yet again we’ve been requested a themed Horrible-Scope. So here we go. This week’s ‘Scopes are all based on Characters from Star Wars. Now pull up a seat, add more butter-flavoured oil to your stale popcorn, and get ready for the THX Audio Logo.

Aries 

You are the Mos Eisley cantina musician “Figrin D’an” from “The Modal Nodes”.  His Kloo Horn playing was so good he earned the nickname “Fiery” Figrin. This week do your creative part and don’t get between people arguing over stupid things… like who has the most death sentences.

Taurus 

This week, Momaw Nadon is your spirit guide. Otherwise known as “Hammerhead”, he knew secrets about agriculture that the Galactic Empire didn’t know about. How there’s a possibility to hide plant-growing information is anyone’s guess, but his species did. This week… start a compost pile.

Gemini  

This week you get to sing and dance in a band with your spirit guide, Greeata Jendowanian! She’s a Rodian with orange hair and green skin, working as a singer-dancer in the Max Rebo Band for Jabba the Hut. This week just remember: If the money is good, a gig is a gig is a gig is a gig, right?

Cancer Moon-Child 

For you Garindan aka “Long-Snoot” will be guiding your path. He’s a shrewd, professional finder-of-information who can be bought by whomever has the best credit line. This week stay away from Docking Bay 94.

Leo 

You won’t believe your luck. For you we have Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin. The only Moff that was able to keep Darth Vader on something resembling a leash while allowing him to flex his Force powers enough to instill fear in his subordinates. This week remember - it doesn’t matter how smart you are or how many battles you’ve won, Hubris will, eventually, come knocking at your door.

Virgo 

And for you, we have Moradmin Bast. You likely won’t know who that is until we remind you of his famous line, “We've analyzed their attack, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your ship standing by?” This week remember that someone else’s hubris could cost you everything. Keep your friends close and your own escape routes closer. 

Libra 

The first droid on this list, you get K-2SO. The problem with this reprogrammed Imperial Security Droid is… well, his looks. Those long, spindly arms and legs, the squat body and small head give him a very Sirenhead feel to him. This week do NOT pilot a plane through the air; you are NOT a leaf on the wind.

Scorpio 

Your character is Romba… not ROOMBA. He was an Ewok who lost his tribe to the Empire when they built the Shield Generator on Endor. He joined a nearby tribe, helped with the fight against the Empire, and gained revenge for his tribe. This week remember, it doesn’t matter how furry you are on the outside, but the size of your will on the inside that counts. 

Sagittarius 

And finally we get to a Jedi! Follow the teachings of Aayla Secura, a Twi'lek who served as a Jedi General of the Grand Army of the Republic during the Clone Wars. She was a courageous General, fighting alongside her soldiers in multiple combats… only to be shot in the back when Order 66 was given. This week don’t stick your neck out so much.

Capricorn 

Let’s take a fun twist and give you Maz Kanata. Maz is a complicated character who’s lived a complicated life. She’s been known as Maz Kanata the Usurper, Kanata the Despoiler, Kanata the Benevolent, and Kanata of the Free Fleet. She’s old, wise, looks like she’s spent way too much time in the sun, but she’s got the coolest glasses. This week find your own Inner Name and the glasses frames that go with it.

Aquarius 

The leader of Red Squadron, Garven "Dave" Dreis was a fighter pilot extraordinaire. He knew his way around an X-Wing, fought off TIE Fighters, coached a first-time flier in the middle of active conflict, and it took no less than Darth Vader himself to take him out. This week follow Garven Dreis’ example and get a nickname that doesn’t make any sense at all.

Pisces  

You need to get out more. You need to do new things, get in better shape, and stop being such a grump about everything. We expect that by the time you’re done with your workout your muscles will burn, but you’ll have lost a lot of weight. This week follow Owen Lars’ example and complain to the manager when you’re sold defective merchandise of dubious legality.

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Discord.

[gamersonthego]

GOTG Review: Mutant Year Zero

This is the next game in my Backlog Roulette series, where each month I spin a wheel to randomly select a game on my massive backlog that I must play (though not necessarily to completion). These wheel spins occur on the monthly preview episodes I co-host with my friends on The Casual Hour podcast.

I can’t remember the last time I shouted “oh, fuck off” as often as I did during my last Mutant Year Zero play session. 

Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden, the 2018 breakout turn-based tactical shooter from Swedish developer The Bearded Ladies Consulting, fools you into thinking you control the battlefield when in reality, the deck is eternally stacked against you. 

If you’ve read or listened to any content from Gamers on the Go before, you’ll know I love this genre. Fire Emblem, Advance Wars, Super Robot Wars, XCOM, Into The Breach, Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars (a criminally overlooked launch title for the 3DS) — these are the kinds of games where I feel most at home. But being a big fan of a genre can be a double-edged sword, because now I’m pretty particular about what makes a good one of these. 

Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars was way better than it had any right to be.

Mutant Year Zero has some cool ideas, but it’s not "a good one of these." Your ragtag group of mutants — a pig man named Bormin, a duck man named Dux and a…normal lady who sometimes kind of has nature powers named Selma (you do get a couple more recruits over the course of the story) — are Stalkers, a group of capable hunters and scavengers keeping humanity’s last bastion of hope, the Ark, from the brink of collapse. Complicating this are Ghouls, who roam the post-apocalyptic Zone outside of the Ark, looking to bring the whole thing down. And you need to use your cunning and strategy to stop them while also finding Eden, a place that may be a salvation for the ruined world. 

And therein lies my problem with Mutant Year Zero: my cunning just can’t make up for the amount of ways the game demands to fuck you over. One of the big selling points of MYZ is how you can explore areas in free roam until you or an enemy locks eyes and starts combat. This gives you an opportunity to pick up resources scattered around the environments or listen to your characters talk about the current events of the plot (which mostly involves Dux asking “isn’t this all kinda weird?” and Bormin saying “yeah, but shut the fuck up anyway,") but most importantly, it allows you to scout and position your units to ambush enemies for the next skirmish. 

A snipe like this is the coolest the game gets, but it's nothing you haven't done a million times before in XCOM.

There’s something satisfyingly cool about posting my sniper up in an elevated position, then getting my tanky boar behind some cover down low to rush in and finish the job so that the enemies never know what hit them. This isn’t perfunctory either, as MYZ rewards you for being patient, doing a stealthy sweep of the area and even picking off a handful of stragglers with silenced weapons before it’s time to go loud and mop up whoever’s left. It’s a great system…when it works. But too often, engaging with these mechanics is a tedious or even impossible pain in the ass. 

Tactical games all hinge on information. When you have information available to you, you can make smarter, more strategic decisions that let you take down bigger or stronger enemies. For example, in Into The Breach, you are given perfect information about exactly what each enemy is going to do on their turn even before their turn has started. So it’s up to you to find the best way of mitigating or redirecting their damage to protect your units and the city. Fire Emblem lets you turn on enemy range indicators so you can bait out some enemy attacks one at a time while avoiding the wrath of a full army. XCOM does hide enemies in a fog of war that are too far away, keeping you from getting the full picture of a battle, but it’s easy to scan around the field and position your units to make the best of what you have. Mutant Year Zero however routinely makes it difficult to know what you’re up against until it's much too late.

The first area you're in is a dense, dark forest. Then you get to this snowy area with so much crap on the ground that you can't really see anything effectively. And the zoomed out camera isn't doing you any favors.

The environments are incredibly dark, with plenty of debris to further block your view. Enemies have vision rings around them, but they don’t appear until you’re very close to them, making it nigh impossible to know if picking off this close enemy is going to provoke and enemy much further away. And there’s no map (mini or otherwise) to help you get a lay of the land. You do get a compass at the top of the screen that tells you where your objective’s destination is, as well as the direction of nearby enemies, but enemies also move around, and there’s no way to tag them to better keep track of where they go. But the worst of the issue of the bunch is an oppressively locked isometric camera that doesn’t ever seem to give you good sight lines of where you're going or what's out there. You can’t plan around what you can’t see, which often leads to your attempted ambushes getting ambushed themselves as more enemies you couldn’t detect come out of the woodwork to oppose you.

To make matters worse, even if you are able to fully scout out an area, there aren’t many opportunities to clear out those stragglers before the big firefight, even though that is kind of the game’s central thesis. Even when you do find them (which takes a significant amount of time, both with the game’s glacial walk speed, and waiting forever for enemies to get into the right position on their patrol path), the enemies in these situations can often take more than one round of combat from your stealth weapons, leaving them in a position to call in backup and/or retaliate with an attack of their own. But more often than not, enemies will be found in stubbornly stationary pairs, which further complicates your goal of a silent execution to remove a threat from the board. Why would they make a core tenet of their game so difficult to achieve? I don’t have a good answer for you, but it leads to a lot of standing around waiting for a plan to fail, only so you can reload and wait even longer for it to fail in a slightly different way.

Be ready to see this screen a lot.

Once the bullets do start flying, you’ll find yourself at a disadvantage almost immediately. Your attack ranges are painfully short, while the enemy seems to be able to take shots at baffling distances. Even when you do have a shot, good luck hitting anything. While MYZ certainly has some XCOM: Enemy Unknown influences — especially in its UI which will feel instantly familiar — one of the ways it tries to simplify is in its hit percentages. MYZ only deals in percentages of 100, 75, 50, 25 or 0. It all makes for a lot of missing, especially on your overwatch shots, leading to many wasted turns of missing, followed by more wasted turns of reloading your weapons. Meanwhile, a Pyro enemy is tossing molotovs at you like they were going out of style, and you’ll find yourself loading up your last save time and time again, leading to further frustration. I knocked the difficulty down to its easiest setting, and still routinely found myself in impossible, or brutally attrition-filled situations, and this is a style of game I feel pretty comfortable with!

It’s not quite all negative. The characters have pretty enjoyable personalities, both in their aesthetics and their mechanics, each with a unique skilltree of mutant abilities you’ll unlock over time (Bormin’s knockdown tackle is a personal favorite since it gave me another crucial stealth damaging tool, incapacitating a target long enough to follow up with two or more shots from my other characters, stealthily finishing the job.) And while the quantity of weapons in the game is low, the variety within that small set is very nice, with a number of distinct firearms with added abilities like knockdown or incendiary rounds. You can also find armor out in the world, which will cosmetically be displayed on your characters during play (I gave a top hat to Dux, not just for the increased damage buff it gives him while on elevated terrain, but also just because it looked dapper.)

It's a good hat! But also, this is a 75% shot? From my sniper character? Give me a break.

But those niceties don’t make up for the molasses walk speed, poor autosaves, murky environments and painfully inaccurate weapons, which all combine to make for an experience that is equal parts exhausting and annoying, even in a game that’s as short as 10-15 hours. The Bearded Ladies new game, Miasma Chronicles looks like a big improvement to many of my MYZ complaints: The environments are cleaner, better lit and easier to both navigate and survey, which could make a huge difference in my enjoyment if I play it.

But Miasma Chronicles is not the game my backlog wheel landed on, Mutant Year Zero is. And I can't help but feel extremely disappointed. I’d heard many good things, and had often thought about playing it even before my backlog game required it. But unfortunately, a few fun ideas isn’t enough for it to rank in a genre packed with other excellent titles. 

[glassmarcus]

UI Overlord

So after going through the Kingdom Hearts games again, I've been thinking a lot about menus. Mainly what percentage of a game can I handle being comprised of navigating menus. And I'm gonna cut to the chase and say that my conclusion was that the percentage doesn't matter at all. Navigating menus actually rules as long as the menu is worth navigating.

I've found that a good menu is either extremely complex or extremely simple. Look at the first Kingdom Hearts game for a perfect example. There are 4 options and 3 drop downs. That's it. In fact it’s so lean that it expects you to play an action game while navigating the menu in real time. Secondary actions such as using items, magic, and summons are done though menu navigation. Simplicity breeds brevity, and Kingdom Hearts keeps it simple so that you spend as little time in a menu as possible. And this isn't cutting out the fat, this is turning menu navigation into an entirely new layer of challenge in a way that Active Time Battles were never able to do. Active Time Battles are basically normal turn based battles that replace turns with cool down timers added to any character action. I've always disliked them because they add unnecessary stress in a way I don’t find all that engaging. I find no pleasure in navigating a menu quickly if that's the only thing I'm doing, so I'd rather just sit still and play at my own pace. The menu in Kingdom Hearts acts as a way to do non standard actions in combat as opposed to being the sole interface in the game, hence why I’m perfectly content with how it is implemented.

Navigating menus is not stimulating, at least not for me. Thinking is stimulating, which is why I love complex ones as well, as they show you a myriad of options to solve any problem thrown your way. Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories has more of a rolodex instead of a traditional menu, which isn't any more or less complicated than the original. The complexity comes from the deck builder outside of combat. This is the actual fun part of the game. The combat is just executing on a gameplan you decided on before the encounter started. Ordering cards in the perfect sequence and predicting where the cards will be positioned later in a fight. That's the good stuff and it's certainly better than playing the actual game.

What does this have to do with Unicorn Overlord, the 2024 Vanillaware developed strategy RPG? Well, in Unicorn Overlord, the menu IS the game. It's got wonderful art, charming writing, and a simple yet engaging story, but if you look at its body composition it is like 80% menu. Setting up your party of 50 soldiers is done through a menu. Customizing your character's actions for specific scenarios is done through a menu. Positioning your units before a skirmish is done through a menu. You can explore the overworld to your heart's content, watch the gorgeous fights play out, and view a few cutscenes every now and again, but it won't be long until you return to the warm nutritious bosom of the unit editing menu. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

What separates Unicorn Overlord from a lot of RPGs I've experienced is that you don't play as individual characters, but multiple groups of characters. You normally expect to control a single party of colorful protagonist, or in a lot of SRPG’s cases, multiple individual characters. Unicorn Overlord does both, having you build multiple RPG parties that you can control on a field. I found that the core joy in this game was constantly tweaking my units so that they synergize perfectly. I've always enjoyed doing this with a single party in games, so it's not surprising that doing it with 10 parties gets a little addicting. It’s fun forming a team built for a specific niche and tunnel visioning them into a special ops unit. It's fun getting all the characters you find aesthetically congruent into a squad and making then work. If fun making the most busted all purpose posse you can make. And a big part of that fun is that it lets you use its large cast of wonderful characters instead of letting them rot in the reserves.

I've talked a bit in the past about RPG party structure and I how I prefer all characters be involved in some way rather than being benched for the whole adventure. The way Overlord gets around this is by just having a large amount of those characters be playable at once. There are 10 parties of 5 characters you'll end up making by the end of the game. This means most units are gonna see some action as there are only like 60 unique characters you’ll end up recruiting. I say ‘only’ as if that's not a huge amount, but it really doesn't feel that way. You're never overwhelmed by choices in party members. As you get more available slots for your initially small roster, there will continually be a few characters left out of fray. Every new unit you get and every new slot for your party you unlock makes you rethink your team’s composition and your ability to do so slowly grows. You'll steadily end up managing dozens of characters, eventually building parties not only by battle strength but character affinity as well.

Each character has their own social link with any other character. This link is built up through having them fight in the same squad and dine together (a completely optional mechanic that allows the artist of this game to flex their ability to draw mouth watering food). As the social links build, you unlock buffs to show how your characters are now working with each other more effectively. They unlock scenes which you can find on the map that show off that individual character dynamic. Basically, it's Xenoblade Chronicles, but with 10 times the amount of party characters. And just like in Xenoblade you can track the affection of every character through a large yet easy to navigate menu. Everything in this game is pulled together through menus. I don't really have a larger point than that, I just think it's neat how engaging menus can be. Probably didn’t need to write that much about Kingdom Hearts in the beginning. They’re really only superficially connected. This write up is a mess.

A few more things I wanna mention about this game. For as much of it is quality menus, its time spent being interactive gameplay is just as good. There's a solid gameplay loop in exploring the continents, finding new villages, saving villages from enemies through missions, foraging for materials to give to the villages, and repeating the process until the whole nation is prosperous. On map enemy encounters are also fun because they introduce a way to gain experience and practice without doing missions.

The story is not 13 Sentinels tier. Few things are. But it's satisfactory for what it is going for. It's a simple fantasy narrative, with great voice acting and it is easy to get attached to characters. And boy these characters all have banger designs. Not a single miss. Especially Selphie, Rosalinde and Yunifi, a trio of girls which mark so many of my boxes it's kind of eerie. There's something for everyone here, and most of them aren't extremely horny. There's clearly restraint taken. Though if you are a degenerate, you will be served as this is still Vanillaware we’re talking about. I really want to go back and play their entire ludography one day, because they seem to just never miss.

[jbt7493]

see so kwarrtz has. Waht the fuck the post editor is different. kwarrtz has some points about possible flaws in the combined-battlefield/3dmoba fps/dark souls melee shit with veihcles thing. like. just sorta intrinsically theres some problems with having melee combat be actually usable at all on very large scale maps with open sightlines, vehicles, non player combatants and all that shit.

unfortunately i am unsure how you would even have melee interact with the vehicles positively. and i kinda like guns / medium range spells. they also allow a lot of neat interactions and gunplay is generally fun. I think in general the concept of this 'game that exists solely in my head' wouldnt work that well outside of my head. but beside the point, and there would also be even more complicating systems i havent described here, but beside the point.

uh I think the idea of putting like a dozen different movement systems does actually rock for real. put like mirrors edge and mario 64 and hell throw in like a skateboard and a grappling hook as well. You should be able to do like seven backflips over a lower skill player before skewering them with your blade and/or shooting them with a cool gun / magic spell.

(the problem is ranged combat doesnt care as much about the positioning between players in active gunfight, and if it does its mostly distance, not location. which doesnt allow for as much neatness in the 'use skilled movement to defeat another player' besides 'move faster than they can aim at you' / surprising them (with high enough ttk that this is a very significant advantage. it obviously matters your tactical positioning before getting into the fight but even then that is not necessarily as high as the significance for melee because fewer things will affect the actual fight itself in terms of positioning as they would for melee combat. so that will obviously not necessarily work as well with doing all sorts of mirror edge shit as melee would. And listen I know what titanfall is. and titanfall is cool and I want the gunplay in this conceptual game to be like titanfall except even without having played titanfall I know i would suck ass at it and i would wanna be good at it. But. titanfall combat is still not really that like. nuanced once youre actually shooting at people right)

[racke7]

Me vs FF14, part 3

I've now finally gotten every (free) class up to lvl 50 (not including Blue-Mage).

There's some interesting ones, and a few that just drive me insane.

Cut off, because geez this got long

Healers:

For dungeons, I've enjoyed White-Mage a lot, because it's relatively straight-forward.

You give the tank Regen, you AOE-heal when you see a bunch of people losing health, you don't stand in the enemy-attacks, you keep a DoT on the enemy, and then you just... press an attack-button and keep an eye on the tank's health. It's a good way to learn a dungeon (your role is "follow the tank, and stop them from dying" so you don't have to worry about getting lost), and honestly kind of fun. It gets more complicated in Raids or (Hard) Trials or what-not, because there are more people to keep track of. And since you do kind of have a responsibility (don't die), it can get really stressful in some situations. But mostly, being a WHM is pretty chill. (Even if you have to learn to be fondly amused at people running to their deaths, instead of angrily frustrated at having to resurrect them.)

Scholar is very similar to WHM, except you don't get "Regen". Instead, you have a fairy that does that role for you. So early-levels it's less infuriating to play, but later levels (when their less potent heals and lack of AOE-regen kicks in), it's easy to start getting a bit stressed-out about it (they also technically have more attack-buttons to press, and it freaks me out. That's just unnatural).

Astrologian is very similar to WHM, but with an added RNG-Buff mechanic that you're supposed to be using, which means that you have even more shit to do. So I feel like that one is only fun for masochists.

Tanks:

Compared to Healers, where it's an "easy way to learn the dungeon/fight", a Tank is the one where you kind of have to already know it.

Basically, as a Tank, you have to be the one running in first, drawing the aggro. Which means that you need to know where you're going, and which paths should be taken (and leading the party in that direction). So, if you end up in a dungeon/fight you've never been in, or one you don't remember? You end up feeling really foolish and out-of-your-depth. But when you know that shit? You look so fucking cool. Like, following after a Tank that knows what the hell they're doing? They just fucking leg it, and everything goes so fucking smoothly, and it's just... so cool. And then you can do it too.

Paladin was really boring to level, but it's so nice to be able to see a Boss' charging an attack and going "nah" and just triggering a defensive-skill to negate most of the damage.

Warrior was slightly less boring to level, but is honestly kind of... shit? Like, I keep running into moments as a Warrior where I'm so fucking close to dying. And as a Tank? That's really worrying? I mean sure, there's that "can't fucking die"-skill, but... it doesn't feel so good to have to trigger that just because you pulled a few too many mobs and you're worried the Healer isn't paying enough attention to your health.

Dark-Knight is... interesting? It's very damage-focused, but it does have a bit of damage-reduction (even one specifically against magic, which is a bit of an awkward distinction to keep in mind). I think it's probably the most fun outside of dungeons, and not quite as bad as Warrior in-dungeon.

DPS:

For the Main-Story Questline, I've mostly been using Monk.

It's... pretty comfortable? It's a DPS-class, so I don't have to feel like I'm constantly just out-lasting the enemy. It's a melee-class, so it's relatively non-squishy. And it has an easy-to-understand but relatively complicated mini-game of an attack-rotation, so you won't get horribly bored with it. It's squishy enough that I've gotten killed a few times, but it's mostly been alright. And again, the ability to have the combat-rotation feel like you're doing something is a life-saver in some of the MSQ-fights. Tried doing a Raid once as a Monk though, and trying to keep track of where I need to be standing and what enemy I ought to be attacking when and how and-... It wasn't for me.

Machinist has been pretty chill for speed-running dungeons, even if it feels like they've got too many buttons to press during boss-fights.

It's mainly for those times where the tank can just keep running forever, with an ever-increasing amount of mobs following behind them. With the instant-AOE with decent range, it feels like most enemies kind of disappear from that mob-train pretty quickly, and it's a nice feeling. I can only assume that Bard (or maybe even Dragoon) could be similar if I could just figure out how to play it. (They're at level 50, but I didn't say I'd done anything with them.)

Ninjas give me a headache. I've mostly just been using them to run around grabbing mat-drops for crafting, and apparently they get even more complicated at higher levels? Ninja is... a lot.

Summoner gets automatically leveled alongside Scholar which is... neat? But it also means that I basically don't play it at all? And it's... a mix between "this is complicated" and "this is pathetically simple" so... not really sure what to think about that one (the level 60-set is sooo fucking pretty though).

But for Raids? Raids is where Black-Mage is actually really fun.

See, during Raids, there are so many people everywhere, that one DPSer more-or-less isn't going to matter that much. So the "pressure to perform" is pretty much nonexistent. And because you're a Black-Mage, and therefore constantly trapped in "can't move, I'm casting a spell"-situations, nobody is even going to be surprised when you get yourself killed. Targeting is also really forgiving, because you have a charge-time to doing damage, so there's no point in you targeting the low-health enemies. And also, a lot of your DPS is AOE anyway, so just throw some of that at the biggest guy and hope that you're helping. It's like the chillest fucking class to play during Raids, and I love it to bits. (Even if the wait-times kinda suck.) I will however note that leveling? Sucked (so many levels to unlock the fun mechanics). Speed-running through dungeons? Sucked (can't keep up with the running). Fighting outside of party-situations? Sucked (they're so fucking squishy).

So... all-in-all?

WHM is the nicest for dungeon-running (also, shortest queue) and very good for learning dungeons/fights.

BLM is the hands-down best for Raids (even if the queue-time is way too fucking long), but sucks at everything else.

Monk is fun for non-dungeon encounters.

Paladin can be really fun (you look so fucking competent and cool) if you know the fight/dungeon, but also kind of humiliating if you don't (they also usually have a pretty short queue).

PS. Also, as a WHM-main? The times I've seen some DPS stand in the middle of an attack that they should be dodging? A few? It happens to the best of us? I have no strong feelings on the matter? I keep Swiftcast ready for Resurrections for a reason, and up until that point? People getting hit just means that I have a reason to do something other than pressing my single attack-button, so I'm fine with it?

PPS. But to the one Tank who went back in to stand in front of the boss when they were using a constant flame-thrower attack? And got like half their health shaved off in a fucking instant? Fuck you specifically.

[worstgirl-online]

I'd like to take a moment away from the endless yuriposting to talk about something else

virtually every ttrpg post I see is about D&D

and it breaks my heart a little bit

don't get me wrong, you're allowed to like and enjoy whatever it is that you're into, but I get this feeling that a lot of folks play D&D because it's the game they hear about everyone else playing, and don't know what else is out there

there are plenty of folks who've critiqued a lot of aspects of D&D at length (much more articulately than I can), so I'm not gonna do that here. I will just say that I find the mechanics kinda clunky, and lend themselves toward encouraging players toward murder-hoboiness, complicated combat resolution, campaigns dragging on forever, and necessitating a very skilled GM to keep all of this from bogging down the game. Also it's kind of a lot of work. I get that it can be fun to create characters, plan campaigns, and do extensive worldbuilding, and if that's your jam then more power to you, but it does take a lot of time and energy

the thing is, there are thousands of other games out there that are worth your consideration, especially in light of WotC being a bunch of bastard capitalists

one such game is Apocalypse World, which throws players into a post-apocalyptic setting with a complex web of relationships and places in the power structure of their environment. the thing is, none of this is prepared beforehand. the players and the MC start from scratch, and cooperatively build the setting together, put together their characters in a quick and dirty multiple-choice fashion, figure out what sorts of threats and goings-on are happening around them, are prompted to establish relationships between their characters (friendly or otherwise), and let loose in the world they've just created. And then you play to find out what happens

another cool thing the game does is break the default 'adventuring party' format, and give players the opportunity to play characters that might traditionally be NPCs, like the proprietor of a seedy establishment or even the de facto leader of a community, which in turn radically alters the way events and characters interact with each other

what it ultimately gives us is a game where the players have more license to establish the fiction of the setting and what happens as a result of their actions, in collaboration with each other and the MC, to tell an emergent story, and to do so in a way that can be started and play a whole session in an afternoon with no prep

in the years since AW was released, it has spawned countless other games that use its mechanics in almost every setting imaginable. most of these are referred to as Powered by the Apocalypse (PbtA)

some of the big ones include:

Monsterhearts: a game about supernatural teenagers dealing with being both

Blades in the Dark: a dark Victorian fantasy in which the PCs are a criminal organization pulling off an endless variety of jobs. it also altered the mechanics of AW enough to establish its own Forged in the Dark system, and in turn spawned a bunch of other games

Dungeon World: a high fantasy PbtA game into which AFAIK you can port your existing D&D materials

and then we get to possibly my favorite pair of games, Dream Askew and Dream Apart

they carry the DNA of PbtA games in their blood, but take a radical departure from the mechanics to fully establish a diceless and GM-less framework called Belonging Outside Belonging

In Dream Askew players are members of a queer enclave on the margins of a collapsing society, navigating gender, relationships, survival, and conflict both from outside and within the enclave

Dream Apart is a historical fantasy game in which players are Jews living in an Eastern European shtetl, dealing with complicated family dynamics, conflict between tradition and newly developing movements, an often-hostile Christendom, and the forces of the Unseen World

what both of these games have in common is that they are focused on marginalized communities struggling both internally and externally. and to me at least, they are pretty accessible. everyone is a player, and everyone works together to establish the setting and take turns playing its various elements, and its diceless token system encourages players to play their characters as flawed, fallible people who make complicated choices that truly affect each other and the world around them

these two games, published in a single volume, have since spawned other games using the BoB framework like Wanderhome (Traveling Animal-Folk Pastoral Fantasy), galactic 2e (a galaxy far away), and BALIKBAYAN: Returning Home (Filipino Folklore-inspired Cyberpunk)

all in all, there's no right or wrong way to play games with your friends. and I know this was mostly about PbtA games and their derivatives, when there are so many more games and systems out there waiting for you to discover them. I just want you to know about them, in case you didn't already, and maybe take the chance to experiment with games that encourage different types of play, and explore worlds and identities outside that of high fantasy conquering heroes

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Watch me

Summary: You try to tease the Mandalorian after taking a skinny dip in the lake. He's not having it.

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem. Reader

Wordcount: 1.8k

Rating: explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: teasing, some dirty talk, masturbation (F), a hint of breeding kink

A/N: The biggest thanks to @the-scandalorian for betaing this hot mess 💜

Masterlist

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It was so kriffing hot.

This was supposed to be a quick journey. The bounty was already frozen in carbonite, and you were on your way back. That was until Mando had to do an emergency landing on this god forsaken planet because the Crest had some issue—something complicated sounding that you didn’t really listen to. You weren’t a mechanic, so you weren’t a big help anyways.

He set the ship down close to a little lake but the heat… You weren’t meant to live in temperatures like that. You could only take so many clothes off to cool down.

Mando had been gone for almost two hours—well, not gone. You could hear him outside working on the ship.

“Mando?” you stepped out of the ship, only wearing a shirt, your underwear beneath.

He came into view, still somehow in his full armor despite the oppressive heat. He stopped as he saw you. “Yes?”

“Is there anything in there that can kill me?” you asked as you nodded to the little lake.

He continued to look at you for a moment before he walked over, standing at the edge of the still water.

“98% sure that you won’t get eaten,” he said after a while.

“98%?” you asked, an eyebrow raised.

“I’ll keep an eye out for you,” he said as he turned around to walk back to the ship.

Rolling your eyes, you sighed at his deadpan humor. Mando and you had… an agreement. You could travel with him to help him take down bounties, take care of the child who was with Karga on Nevarro at the moment, and he got to… take out his frustrations on you—to work through them in a way that was mutually beneficial.

It was you who had the idea in the first place, mostly because you were really interested to find out what was underneath all that metal. What had started as a way to combat the loneliness of the universe grew to something more complex in a short time.

But you both refused to acknowledge that.

Instead of talking, you teased each other relentlessly... until Mando snapped. Then, he wouldn’t take his hands off of you until you were crying his name deep into the darkness of his cot.

You shook your head in exasperation before you pulled off your shirt.

Due to the lack of a bathing suit you wanted to stay in your underwear but maybe, just maybe it was too hot for even this little clothing. If this could get a reaction out of the Mandalorian it was purely accidental and totally not intended.

Risking a glance over your shoulder you saw Mando with his back turned to you as you took off your underwear, some tool in his hand as he worked on the outside of the ship. Letting your underwear fall to the ground you slowly tiptoed toward the water, releasing a sigh when you felt the cool water.

When you were in the water up to your knees you heard a noise behind you.

You turned your head to look over your shoulder at Mando, who was standing next to the Crest. His visor was fixed on you as you, the tool that had been in his hands on the ground. You winked at him with a smirk before you got fully into the water.

It was heavenly. The three suns of the planet heated the air while you were floating in the cool water of the lake. You hoped Mando would repair whatever broke on the ship quickly so you could get back into the cool of hyperspace. Or space. It didn’t matter as long as it cooled down again.

You didn’t know how long you were in the water when you heard footsteps behind you.

“I finished the repairs. I’m gonna head into the ship and clean some weapons until you’re ready,” Mando said.

You looked up at him, swimming towards him. “Or you could join me in here?” you proposed. You were submerged in the water from the swell of your breasts down, and you could practically feel his eyes on you behind the glass of his visor.

He sighed. “I’ll wait for you inside,” and with that, he turned around.

A half hour later, you emerged from the water, not bothering to get your underwear on, just pulling the shirt over your head. You walked up to the ship, finding Mando sitting at the little table where you took your meals, at least four of his weapons laid out and disassembled in front of him. He looked up when you entered.

He had taken off all his beskar save for his helmet, his feet bare, his pants rolled up. He was wearing a shirt instead of the flight suit he usually wore, and you were overwhelmed with the amount of skin on display.

You swallowed. “I’m finished, we’re good to go,” you said quietly.

He gave you a nod. “I’m going to finish cleaning these and then we can take off.”

“I’m going for a quick shower then.”

“More water?” he asked, and you smiled.

“Gotta wash off the lake,” you winked before you turned around.

When you got out of the fresher, he was still sitting there, cleaning his weapons. He looked up when he heard your footsteps.

“Stealing one of my shirts again I see?” he said.

“They’re perfect to lazy around in,” you shrugged as you climbed into this cot with your holopad. From there, you had a perfect view of him sitting at the table. You searched for the story you had been reading.  When you located it, you leaned against the wall and began to read.

It was comfortable silence—and only interrupted by Mando setting parts of his weapons down to pick up a new one to clean. Soon the story you were reading got boring. Watching Mando’s gloveless hands work dexterously on his intricate weapons was way more interesting.

His fingers were thick and long as they cleaned every little piece of his weapons. Rubbing and polishing, until every part looked as good as new. You hadn’t seen his hands often before—twice, to be exact. Once when he got his signet ring from the armorer that he was now wearing on his pinky finger. And once when he hadn’t bothered to turn the lights off when he had to have you in the cockpit after a long hunt. You could feel yourself clench remembering just how many times he had made you cum on his fingers before he finally had given in and fucked you senseless.

He was a force only you were able to handle.

The holopad on the cot next to you was forgotten, your hands rested on your thighs, rubbing up and down slowly—much like he would on nights when he wanted to savor you. In the dark, the beskar of his ring would make you shiver before his hand would wander between your legs. His other hand would push up your shirt and then he would kiss up your stomach, before his tongue would find your nipple, teasing until he pushed you to the verge of your first climax. Now, your own hand pushed under your shirt, his shirt, that smelled so much like him, your fingers teasing your nipple before you rolled it between your fingers.

You were looking at the Mandalorian the whole time. He was still sitting there, concentrating on his weapons. You breathed quietly, your pussy slick with arousal. He was right there. Pushing your shirt off, you parted your legs, your eyes still on him. Would you be able to make yourself cum without him noticing?

Your fingers found your core as you watched him pick up another part, starting to clean it carefully. His fingers were greasy and strong, so strong. It was the first time you noticed a tattoo on his hand. You couldn’t see what it was, but it would be one of your next missions to find out.

Slowly you circled your clit, featherlight touches to tease yourself. He put the weapon together after having it cleaned, laying it to the side before he started on the next. Fuck, you wanted to feel his fingers on your skin: two of his fingers pushing inside of you, while his thumb worked on your clit. You rubbed faster, your other hand releasing the hold on your breast to push two fingers inside of your slick pussy. You bit your lip to keep quiet. You were so close, feeling your legs already shaking. You just needed some…

“What are you doing?” you didn’t even notice that you had closed your eyes, opening them to find the Mandalorian looking, his helmet now pointed straight at you.

Your fingers were still inside of you, but you felt frozen at the spot. “Mando…” you whimpered.

“Think you can make yourself cum? Are your fingers enough for you, little girl?” he asked, and you moaned.

“Please, please, Mando, I need….”

“Make yourself cum, and I’ll make you cum again. And then I’m going to fuck you until the only word you can think off is my name.”

“Fuck…” you gasped, circling your clit faster. He was still cleaning his weapons as you looked at him, but you could see he was tense, grabbing each part tighter, his knuckles white.

“And after I make you cum on my cock, I’m gonna cum deep inside of your tight little pussy. I know how much you like that. My cum inside of you… Fuck, one day I might even fuck you to breed you, make you round with my child.”

You cried out his name as you came, harder than you had ever made yourself cum before. Still, it was nothing compared to how Mando could make you see stars. You breathed harshly, trying to catch your breath.

Interesting. Breeding was a kink you hadn’t seen coming... but holy hell.

Mando was still sitting at the table, now putting together the last part of his blaster pistol before he laid it down. The air around you seemed to buzz as you two looked at each other.

“Get on your hands and knees and don’t turn your head. I’m gonna make you cum on my tongue first,” he said, finally getting up, and you could see the outline of his hard cock inside his pants. You shivered as you turned around and did as you were told.

“Yes, sir.”

[golvio]

Revisiting the early quests hyping up the Yiga Clan reminded me of one of the really noticeable problems I had with BotW’s writing: the inconsistent and wildly fluctuating tone for the “serious” parts.

The introduction to the Clan most people get is from the guards outside of Impa’s house describing them as “sad souls” who went off the path Hylia laid out for them with pity. Then, Paya’s heirloom quest has them built up as remorseless killers in an organized crime ring, murdering Dorian’s wife in cold blood and being perfectly happy to orphan his daughters now that Dorian himself is no longer a useful informant. If you take on that quest early, odds are the Yiga Blademaster who shows up is going to kick your ass.

And then you actually enter the Yiga hideout and the same Blademasters that beat your ass when you were a lower level now have animations like this:

This isn’t an “uuuuuuuu y aren’t villains cool n edgy anymore like my beloved ‘90s comic books 😭” post. I’m okay with Kohga being silly. I love the concept of a character who’s at once funny and entertaining but also a really dangerous and skilled combatant who uses his clownish first impression to get people to let their guard down. The main problem I have with it is just that the tone is not consistent at all. The clan feels less like the complex, multifaceted organization that arose from a complicated and traumatic historical situation it deserves to be and more like all the scenario writers had great ideas but somehow forgot to get together and talk to each other about how to weave them into a coherent whole. It swings wildly back and forth between them being this scary force of assassins capable of infiltrating even the Sheikah secret service undetected to “Haha, look at these dork-ass losers! They were dumb enough to serve Ganon! Only a total dweeb would be scared of these banana-obsessed clowns!” Which is, y’know, kind of insulting to the Sheikah who actually did have legitimate reasons to be scared of these people based on what we saw with Dorian.

It’s like what bugged me about the main conflict within the Zora. It wanted to tell a story about generational trauma and bigotry, but was so terrified of presenting anything unflattering to the player and the lost kingdom of Hyrule that it turned everyone into goofy, exaggerated caricatures performing for our amusement. The Zora elders weren’t a bunch of extremely traumatized people who needed to heal, they were just a bunch of curmudgeonly old fuddy duddies who were out of touch and needed to get over themselves (Which they instantly did, because of how cool and awesome the player is for putting up with their stubborn old people nonsense. You’re so cool that the hot Zora princess everyone’s mourning was throwing herself at your avatar! Isn’t that awesome?). And Sidon wasn’t allowed to be a character in his own right, doing what he thought could help heal his people while risking a revolt or a forced abdication for breaking the ban against outsiders behind the elders’ backs! He’s just Your Funny Friend Who Encourages You, because he exists solely to get you to your objective at Vah Ruta, and the game never lets you forget it. And the younger generation of Zora, some of whom remember Link before his death, aren’t symbols of the younger generation trying to move forward at the risk of starting a major generational conflict with their parents/grandparents who’re still traumatized from the Calamity because it was practically yesterday in Zoran terms. They’re just funny clowns who put on a show for you and point you towards the bridge where Sidon’s waiting.

It’s like…they wanted the royal advisor seeing the armor Mipha made for Link to be this big, emotional moment, but the writers spent so much time assuring us that we didn’t need to respect the Zora that it felt…like something was missing, emotionally. Like, “Oh, you don’t need to take those old coots seriously! Sure, they’re all mad at Link for something he had no control over, but they’re just stubborn and old! You don’t need to take their cold silence so personally! Just keep your chin up and eventually they’ll realize how stupid they were being for ever doubting you, the great hero who’s come to save them!” And when Muzu’s looking up at the statue of Mipha, there’s not a sense of this broken community coming back together to heal, or a man in deep denial of his own grief coming out of the dark place his heart had been lost in to the point where he treated the little boy he once knew as a scapegoat, and more just him being, “Oh, right! How could I have been so stupid?”

It’s like…these people are traumatized. The Zora are grieving because the apocalypse practically happened yesterday. The Yiga were traumatized by the royal family, who their religion told them they were born to serve, attempted a genocide against them. Both of them are understandably lashing out against a world that they think forgot them, that blithely moves on, unburdened by the grief they caused them, not a care in the world. The game doesn’t want to sit with these emotions because it might make the player uncomfortable, interrupt the hero fantasy, spoil their fun. But in exchange for trying to maintain a lighthearted tone throughout, it just feels like the writers aren’t really respecting their NPCs as much as they should, and deliver a somewhat jarring experience where the emotional pendulum wildly swings back and forth depending on the whims of whichever writer was at the helm when they wrote that quest/sidequest that day.

The whole game is a story about trauma, or at least, it wants to be. The main character himself lost his identity after a near-death experience, either because of brain damage he suffered after the physical trauma he endured, or as traumatic amnesia caused by his mind desperately trying to protect him from the memory of something no one should have to endure. But the game just can’t sit with trauma. It doesn’t want to tie the concepts it introduces into a coherent, consistent theme that spans every inch of the world, every character. It just wants to introduce its cool new UI and have fun. Which…there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, but can you at least make up your minds about what kind of overall story you want to tell as opposed to spitballing interesting pieces of story ad infinitum?

I’m a little worried about dropping this take, particularly because we all now know that BotW was designed to be the first part of a series, and so suffered a case of what I like to call “To Be Continued Syndrome.” It was built to introduce the world of Hyrule and its new mechanics & concepts to its audience first and foremost, with far less time being spent on the story. For all I know, TotK could resolve a lot of my complaints with what appears to be a stronger focus on story than BotW with more actively present characters, as opposed to Ganon and Zelda kinda hanging out at the castle and not really affecting anything until it’s time to beat the game.

But, it’s like…I’ve seen games at least try to treat their NPCs with more respect and put more thought into their storytelling without having to sacrifice gameplay or exploration, both in big budget and smaller indie titles. I’d like the Zelda series to finally catch up, too. I love the series, and I know they’ve got the potential to tell really compelling stories that don’t treat the characters who aren’t destined to be great heroes like nobodies you can just breeze past. I saw that in Majora’s Mask. I know they can do it again. I hope that’s what they meant when they said they wanted TotK to feel more like Majora in tone.

[rocketbirdie]

Palamutes!! I'd be shocked if palamutes don't make it into MH6. They're super popular. Though I do think they could use a bit of a nerf. Sharpening while riding your cool dog friend is awesome and all, but definitely screws with the flow of battle.

Controversial opinion maybe, but I actually really want to see something similar to the wirebugs again. Maybe just have one single wirebug that you can only use for mobility outside of combat? Kind of like a grappling hook. I think that would be fair and would provide great map movement, without making the player overpowered.

Related, silkbind moves are fantastic and absolutely ridiculous... and I don't want to see them make a return. Silkbind shockwave on HH is stupidly broken and way too much fun, but I think it would be better off as a curiosity unique to Rise/Sunbreak.

Armor skills. Do we currently have a shit ton of skill bloat? Hell yeah. Do I want that skill bloat to continue into MH6? HELL YEAH! Set building is at its absolute peak right now, and it's easier than ever to try out wacky new playstyles with a huge variety of skills. I'm here to have fun, not lose hours to doing my armor skill homework on kiranico. I embrace our new busted-ass spoiled brat talismans with evade window5 wexploit3 + three slots. You can't change my mind.

As for weapons, some weapons are the best they've ever been (especially lance!!) and I want to see them stay that way. Others definitely need to dial it back a juuuust a teensy little bit I think (cough cough hunting horn). Great sword is a weird grey area for me right now... I think I just want good ol' reliable hit-and-run GS to be its main playstyle again. I hope they find a way to make charge blade even more complicated because it would be hilarious. Pretty pretty please can we please have layered kinsects for the insect glaive? Also endgame gunlance shells should be hitting for 100 per shell MINIMUM. I mean, come on people.

I hope MH6's art direction continues the trend of cartoony and colorful graphics like MHGU; I think it's a WAY better look for the series as opposed to World's more realistic take. Same with the music. I think Sunbreak was a great step in the right direction for both look and sound. But the Amatsu fight did remind me how badly I want those cheesy clunky old school sound effects back.

Anywho. That's all just my silly opinions. I'll certainly end up playing MH6 regardless of what it's like (even if it means having to suck it up and get a ps5... lol)

But I think I speak for all hunters when I say, WE WANT ZAMTRIOS

What do you expect for Monster Hunter 6?