#like it was obv good before but they were struggling w a lot of stuff

[bloodhailmp3]

my partner officially moves in tomorrow yayyyyy

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I saw that you write for Cult of the Lamb- you are doin Narinder's work bro/pos

anyways- would you mind doin a Narinder x reader?

Like, (as cliche as this is gonna be) Reader was one of Narinder's followers before his exile, and was adamant that he not be sealed away, and was killed for it(Maybe Narinder even watched them die)? How would he react to seeing them again after he's freed(like a reincarnation)? Obv reader doesn't remember, but is like, "you seem cool, wanna be friends?"

I'm a sucker for cliche immortal x mortal stuff nil. hope this made sense! Have a wonderful day/night!

"Fools!! All of you!! How dare you betray your own brethren?!!"

"This is for the best, Narinder. For the preservation of the Old Faith!" Leshy vowed, staring at the catlike bishop, who tried in vain to tear the chains free from the earth.

"My word is good! You lot are merely blind and despise those who challenge your teachings.." He gnashed his teeth.

"No. You only lead them astray with your hypocrisies and lies." Heket snapped at him. "But don't worry..your followers will be guided by our word alone. Be grateful we didn't choose to slaughter them en mass."

"Now only one remains! And with their abandonment of your teachings, your cult will vanish. You will no longer exist to us." Kallamar declared as his followers dragged out someone all-too-familiar to Narinder.

He could only look on in shock, seeing you thrown into the center of the room, forced to kneel on a pentagram.

You were his first and last ever follower. He thought he hid you well, told you to flee the lands of the Old Faith. But you must have been found somehow.

His failure to protect his last disciple crushed him more than his imminent exile.

You trembled as you looked up at the bishops, before seeing your master--shackled as you are right now. “M-My lord, I’m-”

"He's not your lord anymore!" Leshy huffed, looming over you with bristled leaves. "He has misguided you, child. And for that you must place your faith elsewhere..in one of us.”

“It’s time to choose.” Shamura whispered. “Abandon your faith in this heretic and he shall receive the just punishment--banishment to the depths below.”

"..why?"

"Pardon?" They blinked, seeing you uncover your hood to reveal your face. 

You were terrified to your very core, yet adamant about their decision as you looked them in the eye. "Why seal him away? Why not compromise? Or..are you all just afraid of him and what he represents?”

“Are you..suggesting that we are cowards?!!” Heket sneered, though you ignored her, knowing you were essentially signing your death certificate as you spoke out.

But you couldn’t surrender your loyalty to Narinder. It would last until the very end.

“You can’t expect to control Death by locking him away. It is inevitable..all of your followers will eventually meet him. You may have convinced my brothers and sisters that he doesn’t exist anymore, but I will always believe in him. I will not yield to any teachings but my one true lord’s.”

Kallamar's eyes widened, outraged. "He has infested your mind like a parasite..a vile sickness that makes you speak such blasphemy!! We cannot tolerate that!”

“That’s right, brother.” Heket sneered, a smug grin on her face. “Don’t think you will get to embrace your lord in death..because we will ensure that you feel nothing but suffering.”

"He will not be there to comfort you. Say your last prayers, child.” Shamura rasped.

Narinder realized what was going to happen as the bishops summoned their executioner, and struggled against his chains. "NO!! RELEASE THEM!!!"

"It's okay, my lord. I am not afraid."

"..hm..?" Staring down at you, he saw your smile and teary eyes. Despite everything, you weren't going to abandon your faith in him. You might’ve been scared deep down but you didn’t want him to see that.

"I swear to carry your gospel with me in both this life..and the next-”

Your words were cut short as the axe suddenly swung down on your neck.

And just like that..his power and strength died with you. Your blood was drawn and the Bishops chanted an incantation that would finally banish him to the depths below.

His haunting screams were heard across every land.

.............

“You weak, sniveling, foul thing! You--wait...! WAAAIIIIT!!” After Narinder was dropped through the portal, Lamb sighed in relief, closing it up. Then they went to help their followers, who praised them for defeating the fearsome god.

Deep down, they wonder if they did the right thing by sparing his life after betraying them. 

But they knew that killing him would only give him exactly what he wanted--to become him. They believed becoming a follower was a more fitting punishment. To show him how much their servants toiled for many days and nights, working and worshipping in his name.

Narinder was less-than-pleased upon being unceremoniously thrown into the cult, a crowd immediately forming around him. He hissed at their attempts to help him up, swatting at the kind hands and paws they offered.

How dare they look at him that way? 

With such pity?

Then the damned Lamb came down the steps--the followers he kidnapped in tow--and used the Red Crown to clothe him in a ragged red shirt. And they ordered him to go worship at the shrine.

How humiliating.

His immediate thought was to dissent, as he had observed a few of the followers do. But he saw the nearby stocks and recalled the shackles that held him down below for ages...and thought better.

With a huff, he went to the statue in the center of the cult and kneeled in front of it. He could stare up at it with envy; the stone structure was clad in gold with holy fire in its empty eyes.

That should’ve been him-

"It’s beautiful, is it not?”

Jumping at the new voice, he looked to see you kneel down beside him, hands clasped together in prayer. He would have replied with snarkiness...had you not looked so familiar to him.

‘Wait...don’t I know them?’ He blinked, staring at you closely. 

And he realized that..it was you. 

The very same faithful follower he saw executed ages ago. Now you were here, in the living flesh.

“[Y/n]..?”

You were surprised he knew your name, but then you remembered who this guy was. “Oh-! Yeah that’s me. Lucky guess.”

His was even further confused. Were you being sarcastic or did you not recognize him?

“[Y/n]..it’s me. I understand this new vessel is difficult to take in, but you remember me, don’t you?”

“I..don’t remember ever seeing you face-to-face. You’re The One Who Waits, correct?” Your eyebrows furrowed, wondering if he had his memories mixed up.

Narinder was growing infuriated. How did you not know his real name? Did you not recall your servitude to him?

“No. You never called me that..”

“Oh, um..I’m sorry..?”

“You were my disciple. The first whom I bestowed my teachings upon. You always called me Narinder. When the bishops found you after I was condemned I..I watched you perish.” He growled, turning to you fully before suddenly grabbing your collar. “Why do you look at me as a stranger? Did you forget who your master was?!! It was never that damned Lamb!!” His third eye snapped open, forcing you to stare at it with fear coursing through your veins.

“I-It wasn’t?” You stammered.

“NO! YOU MADE A VOW TO ME!! You swore to carry my gospel from one life to the next!! Did you only say that to make me feel better in my moment of-?!!”

Narinder was abruptly yanked away by a shadowy hand grabbing him by the foot, dangling him upside down. He came face-to-face with an annoyed Lamb, and the Red Crown glaring at him. Immediately he was paralyzed by fear as his third eye closed, knowing this was how they dragged the cultists to prison.

He had forgotten that he wasn’t the one in control anymore.

“Unhand me, wretched Lamb!”

Yet the leader only shook their head, huffing as they pointed to you. He knew what they meant and just scowled at them. “Apologize to them? But they..they’re....”

However, he trailed off, seeing you merely pick yourself up and smooth out the wrinkles on your robes. Although a little shaken by his hostilities, a polite smile remained on your face.

He realized that you simply weren’t them. You may look and act like them..but you didn’t hold the same memories.

Perhaps you were reincarnated by a different god? That would explain why he’s never seen you, even in death.

Regardless, there was no point in getting angry at you anymore. So he sighed and gazed back at Lamb, who set him down before attending to other matters. Then he looked at you, rubbing his paws together awkwardly.

“..my apologies..I thought you were a loyal disciple I once knew. And I’m still coming to grips with this new life Lamb has given me. It’s a lot to take in...in such a short amount of time.”

“Don’t worry,” you reassured him. “I’m flattered that I look like somebody you knew. I..would’ve been honored to serve you and carry your gospel with me.”

“Indeed.” He nodded somberly. “You would have been most loyal.”

You didn’t like seeing him look so down, so you stepped closer and offered your hand. “How about I show you around? Though..you might’ve seen all this stuff through the Red Crown-”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll see what your labors have wrought up-close.” He huffed with a light smile, taking your hand. “Perhaps it will grant me a new perspective.”

“Alrighty! Let’s go.” Eager, you pulled him away to a different section of the cult grounds. All the while Narinder followed along, relieved to be--in a way--reunited with you again.

Sure, you weren’t the same worshipper who was put to the blade. They were long gone. 

But you carried their spirit, and that was enough for him.

[yagamisdiary]

hii sorry if this is too personal u defo don’t have to answer if u feel uncomfortable but i was wondering if u urself have struggled w anxiety and bpd the way y/n from parasite had cos coming from someone who has a family member w bpd the way u wrote it…BRUH it hit too close to home esp the way u wrote how eren struggled to help and felt almost helpless and it was just so realistic you did such a good job!! obvs ik it’s fab FICTION so a lot of the stuff isn’t acc true and u could’ve just added it in the story but since u said a lot of the major things are based off ur life i was wondering

hiii

my mom has bipolar disorder so a lot of yns story of her being terrified to end up like her dad is my version of being scared of becoming like my mom. a lot of the incidents between yn and her anxiety/disorder were really based off stuff that happened with me and my mom. in parasite part two, it gets deeper into yns backstory before eren and her whole dad stuff and a lot of that shit is gonna be 100% based off my real life and stuff that happened to me so that’s gonna be… fun 😀

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

[viktcrr-alt]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVAL / NONBINARY — don’t look now, but is that viktor samuels i see? the 24 year old visual arts student is in their senior year and he/they are a rochester alum. i hear they can be observant, ingenious, reticent and dependent, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he/they will make a name for themselves living in garcia row. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

LAST INTRO WOOOO !! u know what to mf DO !!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda �� grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

has been back since the beginning of fall semester in an attempt to finish his senior year - mostly out of his parents’ insistence that he did, because he very much did not want to. 

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, which was only amplified with dean lockwood’s death - causing him to spiral and be unpredictable with his mental health. some days are good, and some days are very bad.

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[anarcho-decepticonism]

we fixed hsm

here are our 3 page fanfic plans

Troy & gabriella break up after like a month in college. Gabriella is around people smarter than her for the first time in her life & she’s really struggling & he doesn’t understand what she’s going thru & she realizes that he’s not that empathetic & bad at communicating. She’s single for like a year just adjusting to college & making new friends & figuring out who she is after hs & also not putting her entire identity in her intelligence. She tries out for theater & they’re like “you’re not that good at singing” & she’s like “never mind” bc she liked it because it was with her friends in the first place. She finds community elsewhere & eventually is in a more fulfilling & communicative & mature relationship

Troy is having a lot of trouble bc being a student athlete isn’t enough at FUCKING BERKELEY!!! And he’s having trouble at school. He also isn’t getting lead roles in the theater program bc it’s like. A hobby as opposed to his major/career path. He has to learn to like things without being the best at them & also communicate w people better. He’s no longer super special and the focal point of everything. He immediately tries to rebound by getting a new gf & she realizes right away that he just wants her to love him and pay attention to him and solve his problems and is like “fuck that dude go to therapy”. He goes to the school therapist which sucks but he finds a good therapist & like. Improves as a person lol. He has to think more abt the experiences of others and not need to have everyone love him all the time. He gets a dog -- good for him bc he has to be responsible for the life of something else but also dogs are very affectionate

Sharpay goes to UA & at first loves it bc she’s the star but then is super underwhelmed & depressed. She talks to Ryan and he’s like “you know you can just transfer” and she’s like “wow i’m so smart i’ll just transfer”. After like a semester she transfers to a different school with a good theater program (not Juliard tho). She has a good mentor figure who’s a prof who’s like “your ambition and drive are good things actually especially bc ur a woman and will be told that ur awful & bossy for standing up for yourself.” she makes her first real friend other than her brother (i am So sad) in a theater class-- not someone who worships her but like an actual human connection. Specifically a girl who she respects & doesn’t feel she has to compete with. She has a learning moment when her friend gets the lead role and Sharpay is genuinely proud of her and she realizes she wouldn’t have been suited to that part and that she doesn’t have to be the center of attention all the time. She learns to derive self worth from her love of theater instead of from everyone validating her. Also her friend is goth & tells her that all the pink she wears is bad. They both initially loved the theater bc they wanted to be accepted but learn together that they can just find worth in each other and themselves and their work. Also at one point Sharpay starts dating someone and gets really annoying and her friend is like “you’re being annoying” and they get in a fight and Sharpay is like “i don’t even like him that much but i feel like i have to be in a huge romance relationship (bc of troy and gabriella but also Society)” and this eventually leads to her realizing that she’s a lesbian and also that she has an unhealthy view of relatioships. She goes to therapy (it takes her a really long time to go but once she realizes she gets to talk abt herself she is more willing). Important that she does not date her friend (her emotional support system) but she does eventually get a gf. It takes her a long time to figure out how to be a good girlfriend and that her professional ambitions are different than her personal ambitions (she’s used to treating her relationships like a business instead of a two-sided thing where there needs to be emotional connection and both people being like vulnerable w each other)

Her and Ryan having space from each other where he can shine by himself and she feels like she doesn’t have to upstage him all the time. He feels for a long time that he can’t rely on her bc she’s a mess but eventually he texts her like 16 times in a row abt a person in his program he’s really annoyed at and she’s like “oh my god he’s ruining your show you Have to talk to the director!!!!” and it’s really helpful to just talk it out w her even if he doesn’t take her advice. It’s helpful for him to realize that it is a problem and he’s not overreacting but also that he should not take things to the extremes that Sharpay does lol. He should not poison this person. They eventually fall into a good & more balanced sibling relationship where they can rely on each other for a certain subset of things but they aren’t the only people in each others’ lives

Ryan meets other gay guys at Juliard who tell him that his hats are bad and show him how to dress not like an idiot. They’re like “it’s ok buddy. I know you were the only out guy at your high school but you don’t need to do that”. He’ll like. Do fine in college! He’s like fairly confident in his abilities and identity & good at like. Balancing career & personal life. He’s fine enough at school and doing well in his theater things. He’s charismatic and makes more good friends. He “formally comes out” to his parents in like a big thing. He choreographs it and makes Kelsey write him a song to sing. His parents are like “well we knew that but did you have to make it this much of a thing” and he’s like “yes”. His mom is generally more accepting than his dad and his dad is like “please don’t talk about this to the people at the country club” and he’s like “i… wasn’t? I don’t know these people. They’re your friends”

After college Ryan gets famous before Sharpay does and generally has a good thing going wrt doing choreography for “really important things” (he isn’t public facing)-- he’s good at choreo and also good at working with divas (thanks Sharpay i love u). He gets Sharpay a good role in a thing but he makes a big deal like “I got you an audition i didn’t get u the part u did it all yourself :)” but he totally got her the part lol in that he recommended her. She does a rlly good job tho (obvs) and does well in the spotlight bc she;s actually like. Hardworking and driven and good at musical theater. Her Big Break is in like a movie adaptation of a musical. She’s Glinda when they finally make a Wicked movie. The choreography is really good bc Ryan does it

Taylor tries to become a politician but slowly realizes that her passion for being an activist doesn’t super align with that and figures out that she wants to enact social change without like. Being a part of the system. She has a youtube channel where she talks about social issues and wears her stupid sweater vests & ties. Also she dates someone who likes women. Before she was invested in the public-facing aspect of the relationship and she learns what it means to actually have private moments of caring & how to not follow a stereotypical relationship and instead to do like. What she actually wants to. She’s bi and she dates a woman and enjoys not having societal expectations wrt how relationships are supposed to go. She dates a guy and realizes that a m/f relationship also doesn’t have to conform to societal expectations. Both are super important experiences for her even if neither are “endgame” (i love u matty)

Chad is heartbroken after Troy goes to a different school but tries to hide it/is in denial. He kind of lashes out at people who want to make friends with him and goes into a depression spiral. He eventually snaps out of it when Sharpay (who is still going to UA at this point) is like “what’s your problem?? Anyway i started going to therapy and it helped actually. Toodles!” and he’s like “what the fuck just happened” but he makes an appointment. The first session he’s like “hwatever this is stupid idk why i’m here. Whatever” and the therapist is like “yeah. Okay.” but he eventually opens up and then like. Learns to see himself as not part of a friendship or group/team and see himself as an individual. He gets over Troy, which takes him a while but he does it & we’re proud of him <3 it also takes a while to make friends who he can be emotionally vulnerable around bc he’s never really had that type of relationship before (bc he and troy are very guys being dudes & he like. Wasn’t super close w Taylor as they were p much just a relationship for show). He makes friends w both some guys and girls who aren’t all on the basketball team and has friends from lots of different places. This process takes him like. All of college.

Chad doesn’t date anyone in college and afterwards it’s super awkward bc it’s like the first time he’s actually dating someone. He ran into Ryan and they have a talk where Ryan’s like “you could’ve been my first love but you were never really emotionally available bc u were in love w a straight guy and also not confident in the fact that u are gay. Like that summer was fun but it wasn’t real” and chad is like “oh”. Ryan was like in a serious relationship at that point but didn’t mention it bc he didn’t want to feel like he was rubbing it in lol. And then Chad thinks about things. This is like during a Thanksgiving break while still in college. Chad eventually dates a guy who understands how it’s like. Hard to be gay and figuring out relationships and stuff at different life stages.

Kelsey gets negative feedback for the first time and freaks out but eventually learns that a prof who only gives positive feedback when she deserves it is good actually. She incorporates criticism and starts to write songs that don’t suck. She continues to wear awful outfits. She has a nice girlfriend who also wears awful outfits. They are an awful annoying couple but they’re happy. They do annoying theater kid things

Ms Darbus realizes that it’s bad to force her students to completely write & choreograph their own shows and stops pouring her entire life into high school theater and fixes her problems with her “legal domestic partner” whom she was feuding with

Zeke realizes that he likes Sharpay in the same way he likes celebrities and that isn’t a crush. He makes plenty of friends in college bc everyone loves a guy who brings baked goods to places. He continues doing basketball & baking as hobbies but neither is a career & he finds passion elsewhere. He loves doing whatever he’s currently doing but doesn’t have like a Thing he wants to do forever and it takes him a while to find a forever career. He ends up teaching a variety of classes at community college and is happy doing that but also he might not do that forever. He comes to terms with his “contentment w the transience of life” and is like “if i’m happy doing what i’m doing now then that’s good enough for now”. He serves as a good contrast to all of the super driven people who know exactly where they want to be (gabriella, sharpay, ryan)

We did it. we fixed high school musical

[viktcrr-archive]

MAXENCE DANET FAUVEL / NONBINARY. — viktor samuels is really making a name for themselves as a tier 3 shepherd. i think that he/they are studying english + visual arts in their senior year at lockwood, living in peregrinis. originally from rochester, new york, viktor is known to be observant & ingenious, but can also be reticent & dependent. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

3/5 !!! once again ... little edits

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

a e s t h e t i c s

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts.

general info !!

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′0″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: uuuhhh god … probably pan tbh

pinterest

stats

biography !!

okay so … born and raised in rochester, new york to the well known samuels family. preacher father, a mother, a twin sister born 15 minutes before him - aka tatiana samuels, who died back in january.

kinda … grew up as a really awkward, quiet kid? like … just didn’t really interact with other kids super well, preferred being alone and like … digging up bugs in the dirt. only friend was like … his own sister.

grew out of this as they got older, instead sort of … becoming a bit of a dick? to compensate for years of awkwardness? will bite the hand that feeds him. was a full on nuisance by middle school. tatiana was not, at least, noticeably.

has always been a fan of darker materials, y’know - grim and creepy, morbid shit. big fan of tim burton ever since he was a kid, which isn’t … a good look for a preacher’s son, but he’s never really felt ~in~ with the rest of his family, anyway.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid probably tbh that prompted one or two or five phone calls home 2 assure everything was fine.

has always been really … good at art, in general - from drawing to painting to playing with clay, that’s always been viktor’s Thing.

aNyWaYs. being tatiana’s twin brother was kinda hard sometimes. tatiana and him were near opposites besides their same mean-spirited trait. she was better in the public than he was, but viktor was arguably more talented than tatiana. they both loved each other deeply and found each other as competition for their parents’ attention - a rivalry, of sorts.

high school is when viktor really started to act out - started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service. almost had an exorcism performed on him, probably.

the only redeemable trait was like … his sheer talent with art. was in a 3d art AP course, specialized in sculpting - could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because his parents would be focused on disciplining him for his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with stuff easier. so like, y’know, that’s on the bright-side of things.

never been particularly motivated to do much - wasn’t planning on attending lockwood but his parents kinda … did and sent in his application for him b/c they were Not on board with him Wasting Away (wanted him out of the house asap)

actually pretty smart !! just doesn’t like … want to apply himself ever. double majoring in english and visual arts because they’re like … two of his only interests :/ plus he wants to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s

he’d been experimenting since high school but college is where he really started to like … crack down on himself and figure himself out. was out as pan & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college, just … not to his family, necessarily. thinks tatiana always knew, but didn’t … really use it against him, blessedly enough

always felt like the whole twin - connection thing was … both wack and also not-wack? sometimes it felt believable but sometimes he had no idea what was going on in tatiana’s head. but he felt oddly transparent to her, always - like he was predictable to no one but her.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

but when tatiana disappeared - it was like, like viktor knew. the moment she had been kidnapped - felt something deeply wrong in his gut. and when tatiana died - viktor felt something cut so severely in him. he knew, he always knew exactly when. he couldn’t put his finger on how - but he knew. even when everybody else held out hope for her to be found - he knew.

went on a bender around the same time, had always struggled w/ drug addiction but it got worse the longer tatiana went without being found.

( also struggled heavily with his mental health, too ?? has manic and depressive episodes. will fixate on a sculpting project for six months and then purposely knock it off the table and destroy it in the matter of seconds once it’s finished for. no fucking reason. impulse spends A Lot. )

when her body was found, viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing and being hospitalized where he spent the next like … however long months … until they deemed him better.

stayed out of school until very recently b/c he just … didn’t want to go back. didn’t want to deal with it. didn’t want to be known as the dead girl’s twin. but then his mom kinda just was like ‘u go back 2 school or god so help me’ n he was like FINE.

so ya !! viktor’s back after being gone since tatiana’s body was found. that’s it, that’s him, a lil glimpse of his life.

trying to finish his senior year b/c he … obviously left before he could.

finding out that it was george who killed tatiana has ultimately ... caused viktor to spiral. his lows are some of his lowest, his highs are ... very high, but very bad. unstable & unpredictable in his actions it’s ... a whole thing :/

personality !!

the human embodiment of a gremlin, fed after midnight. a goblin, if u will. one of those cats with a narrow head and big ass ears. that’s him.

b i g horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies. probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than he should. love those vertically striped pants!

fashion alternates between e-boy (would b tik tok famous if he were like … 17), millennial beetlejuice, and like … goth in a crop top and sweatpants. big fan of crop tops. big fan of sweatpants.

he can be fucking mean. petty, aggressive, instigator. will literally spit in ur face or no reason. kind of person who’ll stick his gum into other ppl’s hair. other than that he’s like … pretty okay. he’s not always mean, he’s just a dick like … 70% of the time lmao

i mean yeah okay he’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except He Feels Like It And Believes It. it’s fine he’s fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact tht he’s probably getting into fights whenever - considers himself 2 be a lover n not a fighter but that’s just because he Fucks a lot. kind of uses it like a coping mechanism, like he’s this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ may have a problem w/ hypersexuality but it’s nothing he’s fully. aware of.

the preacher’s whore son, basically

like i said he’s pan & nb, switches between he and they pronouns but like … he has such a fragile grip on his identity that u could call him ‘dog-faced bitch’ and he’d turn like hey wassup :)

vastly impulsive, like i’ve mentioned … destroys his own creations 4 the fun of it, spends all his money on useless shit, will cheat on someone bc he feels like it. screams into the night sky frequently, like a cat in heat.

i mean he also creates useless shit for no reason too. spent six months sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of him and then took a sledgehammer to it.

dramatic fuck. used to play the organ at the church like … when no one was looking after him and service was about to start. just these creepy as melodies. would do the same thing at home on his keyboard w/ the organ setting whenever he got grounded until his parents took away his keyboard sadjfkg

won’t talk about his time away b/c it’s not rly anybody’s business but ofc nothing is sacred to the watershed app, y’know, nothing’s private.

still like - he absolutely refuses to talk about tatiana’s death and like, his mental health or his addiction (he’s fallen back into it tbh but it hasn’t gotten bad again … yet) or like … anything involving his own emotions

will literally just change the topic! abruptly, no warning, asks about the jonas brothers instead.

that being said he’s obsessed with tatiana’s death. tatiana was very much a rock for him, kinda dependent on her in a way? just … being there, y’know, kept him grounded.

so he obv became a shepherd bc he wants to know Everything there is abt the app, wants to be deep inside it, wanted to know Who Exactly Killed Tatiana and like … not saying he wants 2 commit murder but :/ yknow. he’s very upset.

emotionally unavailable while also like crying twice a day.

will tell you straight up what he wants from you, no bullshit, no beating around the bush - just blunt. if he wants to just fuck, nothing else, then that’s that. if he feels deviation he’ll ghost in like. less than a second. kinda awful like that! feels no shame.

but like … also is emotional ?? as shit ?? it’s confusing. he’ll cry on a whim and then flip u off if u try to console him or like. ask him anything. will bite you.

he goes to therapy but he generally fucks around and wastes most of the time until the therapist threatens to like … idk what therapists r allowed to threaten. to send him off to another therapist? idk.

likes being intimidating but like … not with his body or nothing ‘cos he’s a TWIG, but like … uses his love for horror n creepy shit to his advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before.

( also a big fan of sfx makeup, has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids with a chainsaw (w/o the like … chain … or w/e … so it’s not actually Dangerous) around halloween

he’s generally never doing good, both mental health wise and morally.

would probably steal candy from a baby for the fun of it.

i don’t know if there’s a good to him, deep down, and i don’t know if he sees any issues with himself either !! nothing really breaks through to him anymore, the only person who ever really made him stop and Think about his actions was tatiana.

kinda introverted, recluse type who doesn’t rly like most people or going out, but he’ll go to parties if it means he’ll be high as shit.

pretty observant. likes to analyze people even though he’s probably not … fully right.

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / his twin sister, other half - the only one able to control viktor.

george craig iii / close family friends ... they could appreciate each other, when viktor wasn’t being an outright asshole.

hana williams / ‘friends’ with benefits, their relationship was rocky at best but she was a good lay. have often fought due to their clash in personalities and viktor’s history with christoph.

christoph wainwright / an ex-hook up, an infrequent occasion whenever christoph wanted to tick off hana. viktor was often on board, never the one to consider others’ feelings.

wanted connections !!

he lives alone currently but like … ex - roommates where viktor was just. a nightmare to live with.

feel like a lot of enemies is also a possibility !! viktor’s messy.

people that like … knew tatiana. dated tatiana, even, and viktor would pretty much try to intimidate / scare them at any given chance :/

close friends of tatiana too

people who hated tatiana but liked viktor. people who hated viktor but liked tatiana

people who take pity on him and he Hates it viciously and vocally.

a band of hooligan gremlin kids who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers even though they’re all early to mid 20s.

the girl he lost his virginity 2 in high school lmao … a distant memory

fellow rochester locals, from church or school or whatever

exes from the past !! good terms and bad terms, but i love bad terms a whole lot mainly b/c viktor’s a jackass.

don’t know if he’s soft towards anybody but we can try. we can Try.

friends, old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. etc. all of it

hookups !! so many hookups. fwbs, one night stands, whatever.

uuhhhh god. i don’t know. im so sleepy rn. people in the same major or similar majors.

maybe a ride or die.

people he’s a bad influence on / an enabler towards / all around toxic for them / each other.

people he’s fought !! people who’ve seen him get into random fights and were like ‘uh wtf’

fellow shepherds !!

literally anything im not picky.

[fymoanstax]

Deokspatch X: Haunted House

Request: Hello! Could you do Monsta X going into a haunted house (deokspatch x style?) With a staff member (Y/N) and Y/N tries to go in all tough but at the end shes hiding in the boys back and won't let go of them, and the boys are like "I want this cute smol squish to be mine" and tries to woo her. I hope this makes sense! ~Hiding

Here you go! We hope you like it! 

~Admin Wonhoe and Admin Hyungwon

Shownu/Hyunwoo (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Zombies. Oh man why did it have to be zombies.

When the guys picked their haunted house/escape room thing randomly you had thanked every god watching over you that the other guys didn’t choose you.

There were some really scary themes. Chainsaw murderer. Abandoned prison. Dark Night in the woods.

But Shownu chose you and he pulled Zombie Maze.

And you are,,,,,,,,,,scared of zombies

Like terrified actually

You might have watched too many ‘documentaries’ about how the undead could reanimate one day

And you watched zombie movies with your friends despite being scared

But Shownu chose you to assist and you were going because mama didn’t raise a little bitch

Halfway through you change your mind IMMEDIATELY

Because mama DID NOT raise a little bitch

She raised a BIG BITCH

You were literally cowering in fear right behind Shownu

Because his current mission was to get the key

The key was in an open room

With a zombie(actor obviously) standing inside of it

And Shownu wanted,,,,to,,,,,,,go,,,,in,,there

As a staff member you knew that they wouldn't touch you, you were there when all the paperwork and stuff was signed

But as Y/N you were freaking out

Shownu noticed and pulled you off to the side

But the cameras were still rolling because any content is good content

“Are you alright?”

You nodded your head but the look on you face didn’t quite convince him

“You don’t have to go in with me. I can do it myself. “

“Yeah okay….I mean I totally would go in but this is your mission and all you know. I know where everything is I’m not scared or anything. Good luck.”

So Shownu does try to get into the room and you just chill against this gate thing

And you watch him struggle for a few minutes then he disappears into the room

You kinda chill and try to ignore all the other staff members that are standing behind cameras or just watching this go down

And out of literally nowhere

A HAND POPS OUT OF THE CHAIN FENCE THING

AND WHEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD

ZOMBIE

You scream so loud and run away from the chain fence thing so fast

You run straight into Shownu’s chest. His very hard very defined chest. Wow he must work out a lot how did you not notice this befo---waIT

If these zombies were popping out. And Shownu had the key...that meant

Your eyes widen in realization and you kind of pat your hand against his chest urgently, “Shownu Shownu Shownu we have to go we have to run!!”

He’s kind of confused???? Why are you literally SHAking right now

“Shownu! Run! The rest of the mission is to escape the zombies. There’s a gate that’s locked by a padlock and you have the key!”

Suddenly out of nowhere at least a dozen zombies (actors obv) start running at you from the door you entered and you’re like frozen in fear

Shownu notices AND suddeNLY you’re in HIS ARMS.

He has physically picked you up bridal style

And is SPRINTING through the maze.

Zombies are jumping out left and right but they’re not affecting him at all

He like has no fear

And you’re just clinging onto him and wow his muscles are RLLY out here you know

Okay nevermind back to you being scared out of your wits because he has put you down near the gate

But your back is kinda towards the gate and shownu is kind of using his own body to shield yours while he frantically tries to put the key in the padlock

And he’s breathing kinda heavy bc he just ran while carrying you and wow he looks like a WHOLE man

But anyway he’s successful and he get the two of you out of that whole haunted house thing and you don’t know why but your legs kind of give out under you even if you didn’t run but you attribute it to fear so you just lay on the ground

And Shownu is next to you in .0001 seconds and the two of you laugh

Shownu turns his head to you with a smile and he just

“You know I was only scared one time during that whole thing?”

“I couldn’t even tell you were scared.”

“I got scared when you screamed because I thought you were hurt or something.”

Oh my gosh are you blushiNG??? The answer is yes.

Anyway literally this whole thing was filmed and you’re so embarrassed when you’re watching it later but everyone else thinks its so cute. The other members. The other staff. EVEN FANS.

Wow. Incredible.

Wonho/Hoseok (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Just two friends. Sitting in a cell in an abandoned prison. Waiting for the cue to start so you can escape!

Okay so you’re sitting with wonho on this creaky, uncomfortable prison bed

And suddenly there’s a loud alarm kinda like what would happen if there was an escaped convict or something you know

(We are Pristin!) Wee woo wee woo wee

Lockdown

Lol fun times right

W R O N G

Bc deokspatch x is apparently rlly rich and the budget is sky high so they had enough money to pay actual ppl to pretend to be PRISONERS

And and and maybe they ALL ESCAPED THEIR CELLS

THEY ALL LOOK SO CONVINCING

And why did they all have weapons

This vaguely reminded you of the time wonho was in sistar’s music video and he had a pink police outfit with a police baton wowowow

Wait no don’t think about that now.

You need to assist wonho in escaping

But wonho is literally having no trouble

Like he’s weaving in and out of people and you’re struggling to catch up up bc

“Wonho, I have shorter legs than you slow down before I get-”

And suddenly you’re GONE

Like you can’t see anything and you were pulled away

You tried resisting but this person was v strong

And you coulDNT SCREAM

WHAT IS THIS THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY SERIES WHY WERE YOU BEING ADULTNAPPED

When you’re finally let free and you can see again you’re in this like room place that looks like a DUNGEON (but its not) and its rlly small you can tell

You don’t even see who adultnapped you

Maybe you’re freaking out a little

A lot actually

Its also dark

And you begin feeling around the small room and you finally grab something familiar

Its a walkie talkie

You use these things all the time with other staff members

So you turn it on and talk into it

“...Hello?”

And small tv in the wall turns on and there’s static and then it clears up and the thing on screen makes you ?!?!?!?!?1?!?1/1/1

“Lets play a game.”

OH HECK NO

YOU DID NOT SIGN UP TO PLAY WITH JIGSAW

“HEllo whoever is on the other end of this WALKIE TALKIE BETTER RESPOND BEFORE I QUITE LITERALLY DIE”

“Y/N. IS THAT YOU?”

“WONHO! It’s me”

“What happened to you? Where did you go?”

“You were walking too fast for me to keep up. I was adultnapped and now jigsaw is out to MURDER ME.”

“Does this have anything to do with my mission?”

“Above you there is a bucket full of an unknown substance.”

You look up and sure enough THERE IS A BUCKET HOLY SHIT

“Your partner must make it through the prison in the dark, retrieve the key card from a prisoner in solitary confinement, and find the room you’re in in under 30 minutes or else the contents of the bucket will be dumped over you. Good luck.”

WHAT THE FUkc

“Wonho did you hear the same message as I did?”

Before Wonho responds there’s a rlly loud bang and every single light goes out and you didn’t think it could get any darker but IT IS PITCH BLACK NOW

You’re,,,,,,,,,,,,extremely scared of the dark.

But you’re not going to let wonho know that

Wait why were you even in this situation

YOU WERE JUST A STAFF MEMBER

When they told you you were going to have a very important role today you didn’t think they meant this

“Wonho no pressure or anything but 30 minutes isn’t a lot of time and I don’t want to be drenched in whatever is in that bucket. Could be ketchup. Syrup. Water. Paint. Please you know do this fast.”

Ummm a couple of many minutes pass and you’re sitting in the dark curled up in a little ball with your eyes shut.

Why hasn’t wonho responded?????

OH YEAH MAYBE BECAUSE HE’S GOING THROUGH A SEA OF PRISONERS IN THE DARK

You feel like this mission was destined for failure from the start

Every once in a while you hear Wonho breathing into the walkie talkie probably trying to get in some words before something crazy happens.

Deokspatch x is wiLD

The next time the walkie talkie makes a noise wonho gets the chance to talk but he’s breathing heavily

“I just,,,,ran up,,,,,,,,,4 flights of stairs for,,,,,,,,,,,,,you”

“I’m supposed to be helping you but they’re using me like A PROP. GET ME OUT OF HERE.”

“I’m working on it. Are you okay?”

“Besides the fact that it’s incredibly dark and I’m not fond of the dark I’m fine.”

“I’ll get you out. I promise.”

“You’re making this sound like some kind of drama just come get me before I have a break down.”

You were going to look at your watch to see how much time he had left but oh yeah YOU CANT SEE

You get up and go to the door because you’re sure someone is out there

“HOW MUCH TIME DOES HE HAVE LEFT YOU TRAITORS.”

“2 minutes.” Oh wow so casual about it not even- waiT

2 MINUTES?!?!?!?1

You kind of begin to count down in your head from the point where they tell you he has 2 minutes left

It’s a little nerve wracking

1 minute 30 seconds

…

1 minute

…

30 seconds

…

20 seconds

…

And that’s when you hear someone shuffling about outside

“Wonho is that you?”

“Um,,,,,yes but there are also many many doors and it’s still dark so keep talking to me so I can find you.”

“There are literally only 20 seconds left Wonho. Just swipe the card through every one!”

“I can’t even see the thing!”

“WONHO GET ME OUT OF HERE.”

You were restless at this point. It had been a whole 30 minutes almost that you were locked in this room in the dark and you weren’t having any of it.

But you heard some whirring and you realize the the bucket was beginning to tip over and it wasn’t a small bucket it was kinda big so it would hit you no matter where you stood.

So you start banging on the door so wonho can find the right one

And you hear the card swipe through the keypad

And it dings

And it turns green

And you celebrate because he got the door open

Except wonho notices the bucket is still tilting

But you don’t

“Y/N!”

He quite literally pushes you down under him and kinda covers you with his own body

And then there’s a splash and you do get wet but it’s not like you’re soaked or anything

But you feeldripping and that’s when you realize that Wonho has saved you from what smells and looks like milk because its white and really freaking cold

You turn your head to the rest of the staff

“YOU GUYS ARE JERKS FOR USING ME LIKE THIS”

You notice Wonho shivering so you ask him to take his wet jacket off but boy was that a mistake

It was like you were at a wet tshirt contest and he was the only contestant

Ding ding we have a winner

Anyway even though you know it won’t fit him you hand over your own jacket and he thanks you

But he still cold

So you hug him

And you’re obv much warmer than he is so he kinda embraces you back but tighter

And it’s rlly cute

And everyone awwww’s

But you’re just glaring at them

“Are you okay? I know you’re afraid of the dark so I tried to get to you as fast as possible. Sorry I took so long though.”

You MELT

HES SUCH A SWEETEHEART

“I’ll live. Thanks, Wonho”

Can you believe wonho just wants to protecc and love you forever

God what a sweetie pie muffin baby love cake precious man.

Minhyuk (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

Minhyuk was kind of scared of doing this little haunted house thing by himself, but he calmed down a little when realizing that you would be there.

Like he was so relieved that he did not have to be alone during this.

Like yeah he had to work through the room himself, but at least he wouldn’t be scared out of his mind.

You on the other hand were terrified.

You had no idea really when actors would jump out and stuff like that. You just knew the answers to all the problems.

Plus there was spiders.

They were fake but it still freaked you out.

But were you about to show your fear in front of Monsta X’s very own Minhyuk?

No, you sure as hell weren’t.

So you tried to keep your cool, leaning against anything that could be leaned against.

Staying away from Minhyuk bc you were actually gripping your own arm really tightly and it was obvious.

You guys were at a particularly spidery place and it was freaking you out, but like he had a clue in here and you just had to power through.

He was powering through and like it kinda impressed you because how can someone be so calm during this.

Well, he was cracking jokes the entire time so that might’ve helped.

In this part though, he couldn’t find the clue.

Like of all the places that he had trouble finding a clue it had to be in the one that you’re pretty sure you had nightmares about when you were a kid.

But you were there to help him so you couldn’t really like just leave when he now needed help.

“Hey Y/N I can’t find this one thing do you think you can help—”

Before he could finish his question a (fake) spider fell from the ceiling and in front of you and you let out a huge squeak and crouched down to try and avoid it.

But like, you just...crouched...so it was just hovering above you….

Luckily for Minhyuk that’s where the clue was lol

You knew it was on a spider but like...not that it had to fall from the ceiling.

You were pretty shook and Minhyuk really saw that.

When you opened your eyes you saw Minhyuk crouching in front of you, looking worried.

“Are you...afraid of spiders?”

You just stared at him bc like no shit sherlock, but you still gotta put up your front, so you just stand up and dust off your shirt.

“I’m fine I just got sc—”

You heard the sound effects of spiders and yelped, grabbing onto Minhyuk’s arm on instinct.

He looked at you, clutching onto his arm and (he lowkey found it adorable) just kind of gave you a look.

“Yes I’m afraid of spiders!”

He laughed, but you didn’t let go of his arm.

“It’s fine I’ll protect you.”

You glared at him but let it go

“Okay let’s go. You got the clue now let’s just do the thing and leave.”

He laughed at your urgency and just kept walking.

At this point you didn’t even hide that you were scared.

You just followed Minhyuk around, clutching at the back of his shirt so that he wouldn’t leave you behind.

He’d slow down and let you catch up.

Tbh he was really acting all tough bc he had promised to protect you and god damn it he was gonna do that bc you are a smol bean.

At some point, after you had accidentally tugged his shirt too hard and he almost fell backwards, he used that as an excuse to do some hand holding.

So yes, this is Minhyuk, holding your hand, because you are scared of spiders. Can you believe it?

He holds your hand throughout the entirety of his mission and by the end of it you’re kinda embarrassed?

You go to take your hand back but then he just smiles at you and squeezes your hand.

“Hey, if you ever need anyone to hold your hand for whatever reason, I’m your guy.”

You scream. (internally)

Kihyun (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

Honestly, you didn’t want to be chosen for this because you sure as hell knew that you would be crying.

You didn’t hide fear very well.

But of course that meant you had to go.

You just hoped it'd be for something simple like the woods.

Nope.

Killer clowns.

Kihyun had picked killer clowns.

And then had picked you to help him.

You almost died right there.

When it came to it though, you told yourself that you'd act all tough and prove to yourself you wouldn't get scared.

3 seconds in, you heard a clown laugh and you clutched onto Kihyun so quick that you scared him more than the actual clowns.

“Uhh…..Y/N are you okay?”

“I'm fine! Just keep going!”

You were not fine.

You kept trying to let go of his arm but you also kept immediately latching onto him again.

Kihyun noticed that and from his point of view you looked like a scared kitten

It was comforting bc he was also scared.

But he was trying his hardest to hide it.

“How are you not scared? There are clowns everywhere.”

Kihyun was very confused?

Were you that scared that you didn’t notice him nearly about to just start running?

“Are you kidding me, I’m terrified. I haven’t even gotten the mission yet!”

Your heart dropped when you remembered where the mission card was supposed to be given to him by one of the clowns.

He noticed your expression and got very worried.

“It’s uh…..with a clown…..”

He looked at you like that was the worst possible thing but like

If you were afraid of the clowns

And he was afraid of the clowns

Who was going to talk to the clowns????

In the 30 seconds you two just stood there staring at each other, he realized that wow.

He really didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you.

So if he had to talk to a clown with a chainsaw, pretend to not be terrified (despite already admitting he was), and then do the mission, then so be it.

“Okay. Let's get my mission from a clown.”

You went to cheer for him but instead a clown jumped out right behind you.

So naturally you screamed and found yourself hugging Kihyun tightly.

He honestly did not know what to do with himself.

A cute girl is hugging him and all he can do is like not freak out bc

1) A CUTE GIRL IS HUGGING HIM And

2) the clown jumping out scared him too

He decided to hug you back bc you were actually shaking.

“Oh hey there's the mission.”

He took the paper from the clown, while still hugging you with his other arm.

It was cold outside but like...he was v warm????

Also, he just stayed hugging you so it made you warm and you guess part of your shaking was because you were cold bc that slightly got better.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“You know what my mission is right?”

“.....yeah.”

“How exactly do I bring back a clown mask that isn’t being used?”

“Very carefully?”

He sighed and started walking again, but his grip on you tightened.

Granted, you didn’t exactly let go of him either, but you expected that he’d like...stop hugging you.

“I can let go if it’ll speed things up”

“Nah. You seem less scared like this.”

But also he was less scared like that?

(Also again, he got to hug a cute girl lol)

You guys walked like that until he did eventually find the mask.

“Here, hold this.”

He picked up the mask and went to place it on your face but before he could a clown jumped out from behind a tree and screamed at you two.

You both gunned it.

Kihyun had let go of you and you had let go of Kihyun but hey, he got the mask.

You saw him look around as he ran and realized he slowed down a little which confused you a little

Until he actually grabbed your hand and ran faster, making sure you weren’t slipping away.

Like boy really slowed down to save you to make sure you weren’t killed by a killer clown.

Okay you were both overreacting bc the clown stopped following you guys like right as you started running.

But when you got back to the starting point you were both out of breath, and like the crew and the rest of the boys were just staring at you two.

Suddenly, you felt something be placed on your head?

It was Kihyun’s hand.

“Are you okay?”

You nod, and then a heavier thing is placed on your head.

“There. I was right. You are still pretty cute with a clown mask on.”

At least that mask hid how red your face was

And your embarrassment of being terrified of clowns of all things and then immediately clinging onto Kihyun.

Whatever, he called you cute.  

Jooheon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

When Jooheon chose you to accompany him, you were kind of relieved because like he seemed so sure that he was going to not be scared.

Like even when he pulled the ‘ghosts’ card, he didn’t seem phased.

In fact, he was p cocky about the whole ordeal.

But it reassured you at least that this would be an easy thing.

“Hey Y/N, you scared?”

He grinned at you, walking with you to the steps of the house.

“Nah.”

Ghosts didn’t really scare you?

So you thought maybe you’d be fine.

But really, you were actually scared of ghosts.

You just downplayed it in your memories, but watching ghost movies made you not sleep for days.

So there you two were, about to head into a house that was filled with ghosts meant to terrify you.

You knew where the mission card was, of course.

But you could only help when he was really stuck.

You didn’t expect the scaring to happen so early though.

Like you two just walked into the house and when you passed the second room, an actress walked out from the end of the hallway, towards you.

It was then you remembered that you were actually terrified of ghosts.

But apparently Mr. I-Won’t-Be-Scared over there was also terrified.

Because boy took off running the other direction.

Screaming.

Louder than you were screaming.

You ran to follow him though bc you were not bouta be left alone there.

But as you were running there came another ghost????

Like heading right towards you????

You were literally about to run into him when you felt yourself get pulled away.

You turned to look and there stood Jooheon himself, looking slightly red.

“You said you wouldn’t be scared!”

You immediately tell him.

“So did you!”

“They’re terrifying! I didn’t think they’d be!”

“That makes two of us!”

You guys just go back and forth about how you rlly didn’t think it’d be this scary until the director physically has to call you and tell you two to keep going.

“Okay at least we don’t have to pretend that we’re not scared.”

You reassure him, but really it was an excuse for you to like, not suffer silently.

“Here, hold my hand.”

Jooheon offered his hand and you looked at him weird.

“Why?”

“So if we have to run again we won’t get separated!”

“Okay yeah good idea.”

This obviously wasn’t a ploy for him to hold your hand ;)

Actually, it really wasn’t.

Boy was just trying to get you and him out there alive.

Finally, you both made it to the room where his mission card was.

But when you walked in, a ghost popped out from inside the closet and you swear you were about to just like die.

But get this.

Jooheon pushed you behind him.

Like the ghost popped out, and his immediate instinct was to make sure you were behind him.

The ghost wasn’t like...moving...it was just watching you two.

So Jooheon kept eye contact with the ghost, moving slowly, but still making sure you were right behind him.

He actually ushered you to grab onto his arm.

So you did.

It was v muscular and if you didn’t just almost die 2 seconds ago you would have admired it more.

Anyway, he walked slowly, making sure the ghost didn’t like suddenly scream, took the mission card, and then slowly walked out the room.

You felt him relax as soon as you two were out.

“Okay. Now we can get this over w— I have to hug the ghost inside that room.”

“I...forgot that was the mission.”

“Y/N. If I die from fright, just know that—”

“Oh my God, Jooheon, please just hug the ghost so we can L E A V E.”

He just laughed and made his way back into the room, with you following behind him.

Jooheon was rlly just delaying it bc like what if the ghost screamed.

He’d scream too.

And then he knew that you’d scream too and he rlly felt bad that he left you behind that one time, making you more scared than necessary.

Eventually, he gave the actor a hug.

And he didn’t scream, so that was good.

But immediately after, Jooheon grabbed your hand and just made his way out.

Ghosts kept trying to pop out but Jooheon was not having it.

He just held your hand tighter and like just didn't look at the people bc he would have screamed and he was not bout to do that while holding your hand.

He looked back at you, grinning, and it made you laugh for some reason.

When you two made it outside, both of you were laughing.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Before you could answer he just….pulled you into a huge bear hug.

“Jooheon???”

Your voice was muffled bc your face was in his shirt.

“I felt like you needed that hug more than the ghost.”

“Well in that case so do you!”

So you two just stand there.

Hugging each other.

He was a good hugger.

Hyungwon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

You really thought Hyungwon would be the one that’s super scared.

Like, you expected him to be running and screaming and everything.

Especially when he pulled out the chainsaw/axe murderer card.

And you knew the mission to that was to physically find the chainsaw and the axe and bring it back.

Sounds easy enough.

Except there’s actors that are chasing you.

And you hate those kinds of movies bc you know you’d die.

But, you just have to be brave now and not pee your pants.

Especially since Hyungwon is,,,,,,not scared,,,,,at all,,,,,

He’s making conversation with you, and you’re scared it’ll tip off the murderers where you’re at.

Okay, you know it’s fake but like it definitely feels like a life or death situation.

He's just, talking, trying to find the mission card.

Suddenly, you hear the rev of a chainsaw and that's when his composure shatters.

“What was that?”

“A chainsaw"

“Like….a real one?????”

“It's okay I'm p sure it's one of those safe chainsaws.”

You mean….they wouldn't use…..real chainsaws right?

When that passed, Hyungwon was,,,,,not scared again.

But you were on your toes, ready to sprint when needed.

“Hey are you okay?”

Hyungwon asks when he sees that you are very much cowering.

You say nothing bc you don't even know if you have the ability to speak.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Before he actually finished that sentence the chainsaw rev started up again, but this time it was right next to you two and there was a guy w a chainsaw.

In a glimpse, you saw hyungwon put his fists up, looking ready to fight. But you didn't stick around long enough to see if he did.

You fucking ran.

Like there was nothing that could stop you.

Except maybe like, Hyungwon grabbing your arm to slow you down.

“Hey hey he just had the mission. I got it.”

You catch your breath and look at him, seeing he had a piece of paper in his hands.

“Also how about this. You can just hold onto me. So it'll relieve your fear. And if anything scares you I'll just fight them.”

You laughed bc like he was p scrawny and the chainsaw man was maybe twice his weight.

You did take up on his offer though, and you grabbed onto his sleeve.

You honestly looked like a little kid.

Holding onto an adults sleeve so you wouldn't get lost.

But listen. You didn't know this but hyungwon was just really trying so hard to not freak out

Like you're freaking out enough for the both of you.

He just wants to make sure you're okay.

You looked worried from the second he picked you to assist him.

So he tried to tell jokes, make conversation, and try not to fight the chainsaw guy.

But you were still very scared.

He was relieved when you took his sleeve bc you looked less scared then.

Getting to the axe and chainsaw was more you being jumpy every time you heard a sound,rather than anything else.

But you guys did make it to the stuff.

“Okay I'll just grab these then we'll just leave.”

You nod and let go of his sleeve as he went to get the things.

But it seemed like that's what the actors were planning.

The moment you were alone, the two actors surrounded you, revving the chainsaw and swinging that axe.

You like plopped down on the floor.

That was your defense mechanism.

That's how you knew you'd die in a real situation like this.

But also since you were on the ground the view was scarier bc all you saw was chainsaw.

So you closed your eyes.

And then you heard screaming…..

The screaming got closer, and then you felt yourself get lifted up, and you were moving.

The screaming continued though.

You opened your eyes to see that hyungwon had lifted you up and started running away, while screaming in terror.

And he just kept running.

Eventually he stopped screaming though.

When he got back to the entrance, he put you down on your feet.

“Did you just bridal carry me out of a forest while screaming bloody murder?”

“Yeah I think I did. You're not scared now at least.”

“No, I'm not.”

Did he really do all that so you wouldn't be scared????

Yeah he did. Wow.

“Hey Hyungwon.”

Changkyun was laughing, very much enjoying what had just happened.

“You didn't do your mission.”

He looked at changkyun, and then at a nearby camera.

“Fuck.”

I.M/Changkyun (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Okay so you were currently standing in the middle of some woods

You knew it was a fenced off area, it was actually a dome, because you came in through a gate and you saw the edge of the dome with your own two eyes

But it must be a huge area

Because you were driven to the center in a golf cart

You were also,,,,,,,,,handcuffed to changkyun???

And it was night but you only had a measly head lamp

Changkyun was given a card and when he read it he seemed confident

“It says that we’re being hunted and that we have to find a bow and 6 arrows before we can escape”

“What’s hunting you?”

“Us. What’s hunting us.”

“I’m not part of this!”

“You’re handcuffed to me.”

“...Valid point.”

“Anyway all it says that we’re being hunted by a flesh hungry animal.”

Out of nowhere you hear a growl and Changkyun screams so loud but his voice is rlly deep so it sounds like another growl to you and you try to run but you’re HANDCUFFED TO CHANGKYUN

So instead you cling to him.

“Okay okay, I have an idea. We can find the edge of the dome and then we can climb up the dome and just dangle there for 24 hours and they’ll get the hint eventually..”

You facepalm with your free hand

“We are NOT climbing or hanging from anywhere. We have to find the bow and arrows.”

“But the flesh hungry animal is gonna get us!!!!”

“But nothing Changkyun, we are going to finish this mission and get out of here”

By now you’ve noticed that you’re clinging onto him so you let go and put some distance between the two of you

“This is MY mission.”

“Yeah well like you said  we’re (all) in this together.”

Reluctantly Changkyun follows as you begin walking around from tree to tree and bush to bush to find the things you needed to collect

“WAIT. There’s a key for the handcuffs and I know where it is!”

“Where is it?”

“It….should be,,,,,,,,,,,,hanging from a  tree.”

“THERE ARE SO MANY TREES Y/N.”

“We could go with the alternative option”

“What is that.”

“I can chop your hand off.”

“Y/N!”

The two of you are startled by a growling noise once again which you catch on is a sign to get the show on the road.

“I could let you in on a little secret.”

“What is that?”

“These aren’t real.” You hear the staff groan as you pull your hand out of the handcuff and begin running away.

Changkyun is quick though so he doesn’t lose sight of you

But what you didn’t expect to happen while you were running

Was for your headlamp to shut off.

WHILE YOU WERE RUNNING

You stop immediately and Changkyun crashes right into you causing his headlamp to fall off and break

It is now completely dark

“Good going changkyun! WAIT SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME”

Changkyun is now wildly punching and kicking around himself

“I hit something!”

You

He hit you

“THAT WAS ME.”

Another roar has the two of you magically running into each other's arms despite not being able to see each other.

“THAT WAS NOT ME.”

“Let’s go!”

Changkyun grabs your hand and begins running in any random direction. Was this mission even possible this area was so big

You’re literally walking around for at least twenty minutes with no luck.

There are a few scares

One time Changkyun ends up jumping in your arms and the two of you fall to the ground because you weren’t expecting it

Another time the two of you are trying so desperately to escape whatever it is chasing you that you literally sabotage and sacrifice each other

Changkyun trips you

You tell him to look somewhere while you run away

He manages to climb a tree but is too scared to jump down so you tell him you’ll catch him but he just ends up falling on top of you

“SOMETHING JUST BIT ME”

“Sorry that was me...Shownu lets me do it when I’m nervous.”

You guys were a mess

But anyway you were also having no luck

Like 40 minutes into filming the staff all laughs at something and you and changkyun are confused while trying to get twigs and leaves out of his hair after he fell while trying to lean against a tree

“What’s going on?”

“We forgot to set up the most important part of the mission. Someone found the bow and arrows back in one of the prop cars…”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME.”

You and Changkyun are like so done with this whole thing

They let you out and you’re both pouty and mad about it

Like a week later you’re watching the edited versions of all of the haunted houses and stuff like that and Changkyun’s comes up and its basically just a whole 10 minutes of you and him getting into a whole lot of shenanigans (+screaming)

You know those little sound effects and filters and effects they do on stuff like that well there are plenty of those

And you and Changkyun laugh at each other while watching it and you’re sitting rlly close to one another

And at scary parts you kinda grab his hand or scoot closer and its super cute

And Changkyun just lets you because he needs to protect you and make sure you’re safe

And yeah

[unmeiokaemasu]

anyway while I try to forget the trash fire currently raging in heroes, I started the Blazing Blade a couple days ago! :D

and I’ve been having an absolute blast. I watched a let’s play of it before so I already knew a lot about it, but I think that probably helped me enjoy it more - I’m still not very good at these dang strategy games, so having a notion of what’s coming next I feel is mitigating some frustration.

but also...I’m kind of enjoying that it’s just moving from one map to the next? like I like the characters in this a lot, that’s why I wanted to play this one, and the goofy story isn’t bothering me...in fact I’m enjoying that as well, but...hm. Awakening had the very start of other activities outside of battles, Fates had the My Castle which...yikes. Thinking about it now I think enjoyed it quite a bit but right now the thought of returning to it is exhausting. Echoes finally debuted 3D movement, and then 3H was basically split into 2 separate gameplay modes. ...I haven’t played the Tellius games so I don’t know what kind of extra stuff they might’ve had; my impression is not much since they were such epic stories and had just made the jump to new consoles and 3D. My impression of Shadow Dragon and New Mystery is that they intentionally didn’t have any newer systems.

Typing all that out I can see why some people felt Awakening was taking the series away from its roots. There’s a lot of fun to be had in just reading the story setup and then just playing. buuuuut I’m not saying I’d take back anything Three Houses added. Even on my 20th or w/e playthrough, I still have some fun running around the monastery and doing all the chores. ...it’s funny thinking about how quaint this version of a 3D hub world will probably seem if the series decides to keep implementing it in the future, but I think it’s a good start. obvs liked the super robust support system and all the writing and voice acting that went into that. The teaching mechanic was also cool, getting to give extra non-fighting attention to your favored units. I guess one thing I’m learning is that I didn’t like all of the optional battles; now that I’m thinking about it I spent a long time grinding in those (because I’m not very good so I needed all the power I could get), and that was really the most tedious part to me. But it’s not like grinding hasn’t been in some previous games.

Anyway I think it’d be cool to see the old games remade in 3H or new style, but it might be equally cool to see 3H stripped completely back to 2d, no animated cutscenes, the monastery is now just a menu...that could be fun.

oh yeah well anyway FE7...I was genuinely terrified going in because, once again, I’m really bad at these games, and even though I have fun I’m a little disappointed I still struggle as much as I do. I don’t think this one was renowned as particularly difficult, but still. ...buuuut even after starting on the story proper, I did pretty well! In fact sometimes I made some striking blunders, but recovering from them was super exhilarating. (My favorite was when I misjudged Guy’s movement when he was still an enemy, and he and Marcus nearly killed each other. Matthew was also badly hurt, so it was extra funny when he and Guy had the recruitment conversation with like 2 hit points each) (No wait I forget even better was when I was trying to recruit Erk, and I just couldn’t get Serra over to him and I was sure he was about to be murdered, but then I realized Lowen could pick him up and ferry him over to her. I’ve had a lot of fun with the rescue mechanic.)

[jess1820]

the time i went to reno to see phoenix (dec 8 2017)

I traveled 4 hours to Reno to see Phoenix last Friday! It was incredible and I stayed afterwards to meet the band in the freezing cold.

under the cut are all the great moments that happened with random small details and fangirling (if you want to skip some parts i included headers, but meeting them was so amazing, also the last 3 paragraphs are the most important bc *sobbing CHRIS*)

before the show

The morning of the show I walked around the casino looking for our boys and I actually did see them! Thomas, Chris, Thomas H, and Rob were eating breakfast in the restaurant/cafe. I didn't really want to interrupt or wait around so I kind of just watched them from afar briefly and saw Thomas eat french toast haha (whoops was this more creepy).

I was in line about 3.5 hours before doors opened. Getting front row was very promising. 15 minutes before the doors opened, Thomas, Branco, Deck, and Chris left the venue and were heading out (to what I assume was towards the restaurants in the casino) and they were so cute. We (waiting in line) were all dying and waving at them and they responded by winking (Deck), hand gestures (Branco), and big waving (Thomas and Chris). 

the show

I chose to stand between Deck and Chris after lots of internal debates with myself (and chats with feenix friends, shout out for helping me make a decision yu know who y’all are!! ty!!).

The show was SO GOOD. These boys were ON FIRE. I’m really happy the crowd was into it as well (the show strangely did not sell out..). Thomas said they specifically asked to play Reno because last time they were here it was great. The boys looked super happy onstage. TOO YOUNG WAS PLAYED IN FULL!!! God it was the best. And also Rally!! I love hearing the INBLT songs live. I also jammed so hard to Sunskrupt! because what an instrumental masterpiece and also hello to Branco marches and shuffles (what a combination of cute and awkward ok). They also had a disco ball for If I Ever Feel Better and IT JUST MADE THE EXPERIENCE EVEN COOLER. Thomas introduced the disco ball and then stayed with the crowd for the song. It was so fun. 

After the main set, Chris comes back on stage with an Anchor steam beer in hand (yee Anchor brewing man, heh unnecessary detail). Goodbye Soleil. GOSH. It was so beautiful. Thomas was right in front of me and everything was just magical. The arm waves in Fior di Latte was magical too. what a vibe. And ti amo reprise! Finally, to experience the reprise and crowd surfing. It was so much fun and I touched him heh.

Chris was smiling, dancing, and occasionally singing all night long, he was SO precious. precioussss. We made eye contact several times throughout the night (I love that he smiles right back I love him what a happy lil bird). Deck had a lot of fun interactions with Chris all night and he made funny faces and did his spider legs pose too hahah. Thomas was so cool with the crowd and looked so nice. Branco was so cute in his lil corner with his tinted ray bans and blue shirt and levis. I live for his marches and shuffles and his freeze in FSD. I made eye contact with all of them throughout the night and it was so magical.

actually meeting feenix!!!!

After the show, I went outside (in a freezing ass temperature of 24°F) to where their buses were parked and all I had seen was the crew packing everything away. There was no one else waiting, so I kind of wandered around, before deciding to stand in a spot where I could see the bus under a light.

DECK!!

I saw someone store their suitcase away and bring a bag inside the bus. Shortly, they get off the bus and start walking towards me. I realize finally it’s Deck (it was dark where he was coming from)!! He was so polite and friendly, I was not prepared so I had to dig for my sharpie and entertainment single (it’s one of my favorites!). He took a look at it and was saying it’s kind of rare and and was surprised. I am a failure at socializing so I said all these dumb embarrassing things to him (deck im sorry) but I had him sign his pick (which I got when it was thrown off stage by the crew). (A young couple shows up at this point so they help to take a photo for me and hang around lol). He says the others are showering and if we waited we could see them. Before he returned back to the venue, he says, “You must be cold” and rubs my arm. (aaaah deckkkk)

THOMAS AND BRANCO!!

1 hour later (which felt like forever), I bumped into Matt the sound guy who tells me what bus and when they’d be leaving. About 15 minutes later, Thomas shows up all bundled up with a beanie and hood on, and Matt signals for us to come over. Thomas was so nice and also was saying how cold it was and thanked us for waiting. A moment later, Branco shows up wearing his grey hat aww (yu kno I love branco and hats!!) and I kind of just go to him because (hello!! its my boy!! I wanted to cry bc last time at BFD I was so close to meeting him) it’s Brancoooo. He was saying, “It’s so cold! eh, it’s so cold!” and for some reason in person he sounds even more french???? (its wild??? he sounds so nice tho). He was so adorable ok and I asked for a photo and he tells Thomas (who is talking to the couple and just gets interrupted ohmygod B!!) to be in the photo. (And then Branco is like, “Get in the middle!!” and I love that he basically arranged the photo op for me). He was so smiley. Thomas was so gentle and adorable. After they put their stuff in the bus, they kept waving goodbye~~

CHRIS (AND DECK AGAIN)!!

Another 5-10 minutes go by before Chris finally shows up with Deck! (Now I am the only one waiting.) Chris has a togo/leftover box of food in his hand (i could not have expected anything less, bc chris x food) and as I approach him and say hi, he says in the most cheery voice, “I remember you, you knew all the lyrics!” He was SO sweet, he handed the box to Deck and signed my single sleeve. As he’s handing it back to me, he observes my sweater and starts talking about it and Deck joins in as well lmao. Chris kept asking what brand it was and talking about the pattern. It was too cute. I loved this moment. Chris mentions he has one with a very similar pattern that’s Lacoste (obvs, and mine is not). Before Deck leaves, he thanks me and gives me a hug!! (what!! i couldn't believe it).

I talked with Chris a little about the show and I walked with him to the bus. I ask him if they are coming back to SF next year (I asked everyone and they gave me different answers lol) and Chris said there might be something (perhaps private) and took down my email!! what!!! !!! W H A T. He then struggles to put his really long suitcase bag thing into the bus and drops some stuff and utters his classic “wah la la” and it was SO precious (I helped pick up his stuff). Near the end, I ask to take a photo with him and he scoots me towards the light with his hand on my shoulder (chrissss i wanted to cry). Unfortunately my dumb phone flashed (there was enough light come on man) and it caught him in mid-blink (but it’s ok bc this moment was so incredibly precious i will cherish it). He then gives me a great big hug and thanks me, speaking softly. GOD. what a moment. one i’ll remember forever. it was so sweet, so sincere and heartfelt. (yO i wanted to cry!!).

At this point I'm pretty sure Cedric opened the bus door trying to rush Chris in (they are so late leaving im so sorry) but Chris keeps talking to me and thanking me because without us, they would not be where they are today and i just wanted to cry HE IS TOO SWEET. A TRUE ANGEL. Chris is so generous and seriously what a wonderful human.

sorry this was so long i got v emotional and if you made it through i thank you!!

[liu-lang]

A really long post abt my curly hair & the changes my curls have been through. tagging @laskyjedneplavovlasky bc you asked to see results of my plait

Okay so I only ended up plaiting my hair for one night bc right after my boyfriend found bed bugs in his bedroom. I thought I’d finally take the opportunity to make a post about my hair tt I’ve kinda wanted to for awhile. 

I’ve always been confused when ppl describe my hair as wavy and I’d be quick to correct them, no it’s curly. Obviously I don’t see the back of my head often. And when taking selfies with a front-facing camera, my hair looks curly to me. But finally having someone take photos of my hair from behind made me realise why ppl think I have wavy hair. 

I’m gonna refer to these photos by the row number + left / centre / right. So in the top most row, the photo on the left (1L), tt’s my hair the morning after plaiting it. I think I put AG Recoil Curl Activator the night before after showering to detangle it. Sleeping with a plait was super uncomfortable ??? It felt weird to have all my hair tied up instead of how I usually sleep with my hair down (and consequently moving freely all over my pillow). It might have been uncomfortable bc it was my first time but also with these results, I’m not sure if plaiting my hair is the right way to go to encourage my curl pattern. My hair was also still damp when I took it out of the plait. But I’m really glad I tried it bc now I know. I wonder if I will achieve different results if my hair was healthier. 

Also just to point this out before I forget, in 4R, tt’s the back of my little sister’s head. She has slightly wavy hair. She wears it about shoulder length now so her hair just looks straight. And my twin sister has straight hair. I rmbr asking her what she does with her hair while we were just together for xmas and she said she just shampoos it and then dries it without any product. I remarked tt I wish my hair could be tt maintenance-free…… my life would be so much easier.

1R, 2L and 2R are all my hair with any of the following products in it and the way I usually style my hair. 2R is my hair this morning right after waking up. I can’t rmbr which photo has which product. They aren’t all too different photo-wise. But I will say I think using straight up coconut oil, although hydrating does the least for encouraging and holding curl pattern. I only use 1 product at a time and I use the product to both detangle and style after I’ve showered.

Trader Joe’s Organic Triple Filtered Coconut Oil (I started using this when I was btwn hair products & didn’t want to spend money on stuff tt might end up not working for my hair)

AG Recoil Curl Activator

AG Foam Weightless Voluminiser

Urban Hydration Coconut Oil Styling Cream w/ Avocado Oil & Argan Oil

I don’t have the financial means nor the time nor do I want to make a giant effort to get ~perfect curls~ so I know most of my complaints could be addressed if I had those things or wanted to put in the energy / have the patience to do extra stuff to my hair. It took me awhile to also realise tt I can have different curl patterns throughout my head of hair. It tends to be straighter underneath and the top layers have more curls. There are all these rules / suggestions on how to sleep w/ curly hair “properly”, how to wash it and style it, how to care for day 2 / day whatever hair, how to dry your hair etc …. obvs I don’t care enough to do all the things but I try and do what i can. I stopped using shampoo several years ago and have a co-washing routine. Long story short this is what I do now :

I shower everyday so tt means I wash my hair everyday … this is not recommended for curly hair … but I developed seborrhoeic dermatitis along my hairline near my neck and left ear in high school (there are small localised patches tt flare up due to who knows what… mostly likely weather or stress … they’ve never spread to other pairs of my scalp or my body #pleasedon’tspread). When I shampoo I use Neutrogena’s T/Gel. I apply it directly onto my shampoo brush and only use it on parts of my scalp w/ the seborrhoeic dermatitis patches & I try to keep it on my scalp and not down the length of my hair. Even so, the T/Gel shampoo leaves my hair feeling like dry hay / dead grass after bc the coal tar strips my hair. If I’m having a pretty intense flare up, I will add tea tree oil directly to my scalp in addition to the shampoo. (when I was still trying to get it under control in the early days of diagnosis, I was prescribed 2% ketaconazole shampoo)

For conditioning and detangling in the shower, I use SheaMoisture’s Manuka Honey and Mafura Oil Intensive Hydration Conditioner with a wide tooth comb. I actually start first w/ conditioner (so it has more time to sit in my hair) then once I’ve detangled, I will shampoo my scalp. This also prevents me from combing shampoo through my hair. 

After I’m out of the shower, I dry my hair with a cotton t-shirt & use my wide tooth comb again to detangle w/ one of the products I listed above. Then I scrunch my hair to encourage curls and dry my hair a bit more. It *never* occurred to me to put product in my hair when my hair is wet straight out of the shower. I think I saw it in a Youtube video and I suddenly became aware tt I would dry my hair first until it was damp then put in product then dry again while scrunching. It totally makes sense now to do it w/ wet hair since the goal is to retain as much moisture as possible. I know everyone always says detangling w/ fingers is the best / most gentle but like I alr spend so much time as is w/ the comb. And I don’t want to be sitting down w/ my head upside down and hair turned over my face any longer than I alr have to. Then I go to sleep on a satin pillow case and my hair air dries throughout the night.

Looking at photos of my hair now and from 10 - 12 years ago (all the photos in rows 3 & 4), I wish I had appreciated the hair I had more. It was so different and so unique but tt was precisely what was so difficult (I heard the word “unmanageable” used to describe it a lot) about it and why I was ashamed of it growing up, I didn’t hate my hair but I felt ashamed and I felt like it didn’t suit me bc it was so big and so curly and I never knew what to do with it. Ppl always asked if it was real & no one would believe me when I said yes. White ppl here thought it was dreadlocks blergh….they actually still do even w/ the hair texture I have now. I rmbr having really terrible ID photos / school photos etc esp. when still living in Asia bc the photographers always wanted to get my hair out of my eyes or magically make it straight by running a fine tooth comb through my alr dry hair. Even put up in a pony tail, it would just be a giant bush (3C). I went to Catholic school w/ a dress code where your hair had to be up if it was long and I carried tt w/ me even after moving here so I only let my hair down in public when I was 18 / 19. Looking East Asian plus being a Muslim while having this kind of hair was so challenging. Bc everyone on my Chinese side didn’t understand why I didn’t have straight hair and my nenek was always asking my mum when we would be ~good Muslims~ and wear a tudung. I get my curly hair from my mum and sometimes I wish she would wear her hair naturally curly so we could look similar in at least one way but I understand how she’s internalised certain standards of beauty so she chooses to style her hair to meet them. She grew up w/ ppl being particularly cruel to her abt her hair & calling her ugly bc of it too. In addition to tt she had to deal w/ colourism.

My hair drastically changed when I was around 16 I think. I rmbr getting my hair cut to my shoulders thinking tt my curls would come back if I just took some weight off tt came w/ long hair…. but it just started me down a downward spiral (lol puns) to where I am now w/ my loose curls / waves. I started having an eating disorder at 11 all the way until I was 22 and now I’m struggling w/ it / just living w/ the remnants of it. I know tt having proper nutrition will help w/ my hair but also my body’s endured so much damage for over a decade, esp. when I should have been growing during my adolescence, tt it’s just gonna be a really long and slow journey ahead. 

I’ve watched some hair transition videos of ppl reviving damaged hair and regaining their curls. This one by CurlyPenny comes to mind. I can’t believe it took her 5 years but her hair is fabulous and #goals now. I don’t know if I can get my original curl pattern back. Maybe this is just how my hair is post-puberty ? My hair is thin and not very dense (like if you look at my scalp, I don’t have a lot of hair strands growing out of one place per square inch) so it gets weighed down very easily by product. I know ideally I would use mists or foams instead of creams or gels. But I’ve found tt mists / foams don’t always provide my hair w/ the moisture it needs. And it’ll dry w/ a crunchy texture. Some ppl say oils aren’t the best bc they can build up if not properly washed out and I know I’m literally coating my hair w/ oils right now when I style it. 

I’ve been watching Naturally Curly’s videos and I especially love seeing Grace’s Watch & Go’s bc I think she has similar-ish hair to mine in terms of her hair being on the border of wavy / curly. Having a haircut could also help w/ the shape of my hair and curls but my haircuts never seem to go as planned. I have a lot anxiety abt haircuts bc growing up my mum would come in and speak for me and I never knew what to say abt what I wanted / how to have a conversation with the hair stylist while in the chair. (I think there’s a thing where women have deep conversations & develop friendly relationships w/ their hair stylists). Right now, I think I want to focus on 2 things 

Finding a clarifying conditioner tt is low or no lather bc I think properly removing product build-up once a month could really help w/ my hair feeling weighed down

Going back to deep conditioning my hair either by finding a hair mask / deep conditioning treatment or letting my regular conditioner I use now in the shower sit in my hair 30 min before I even take a shower

And maybe……a 3rd thing…. actually wrap my hair up when I sleep or put a cap on it to prevent breakage bc it’s so thin and to help w/ volume. Besides my curl pattern changing, the one other thing tt bothers me the most is how I’ve lost curls and volume at my roots. Idk if it grows out straight or what now but I’m not keen on how the roots are flat

I never really envisioned my #curlyhairpost to come out like this but I’m kinda relieved tt I’ve gotten it out of the way. Bc the longer it just sat in my brain, the longer and more complicated it grew. If you are naturally curly too, please share your journey ! I really love seeing the natural hair movement grow etc but ….. every time someone comes up to me to ask what I did to my hair to get my curls or they don’t believe my hair is naturally curly, I think about the stereotype of Asians only having straight, thick, black hair.

[awsugar]

FOR THE ANON WHO ASKED IF PEOPLE LIKE FRANK, GERARD, & DAN WOULD STILL WANT THEM AS A FAN IF THEY WERE TRANS:

first of all, as i said, YES. they’re all supportive of their trans fans. 

gerard is the most obvious. maybe not to you, but to me, for sure. there’s no way i could link everything that has to do with gerard & supporting trans identities but i’ll start by telling you that he has experienced the struggle, in part, in his own way.

talking about his support for trans & non-binary fans

and again

“i wanna give a shoutout to anybody here that’s transgender cause i know how hard that’s gotta be and you’re really fucking brave for going through it...”

“I have always been extremely sensitive to those that have gender identity issues as I feel like I have gone through it as well, if even on a smaller scale"

“i’m in your corner!”

there is more but yes gerard supports his trans fans in a pretty active way

frank isn’t as active & vocal in his support of trans people but:

“you’re perfect” (this one really gets me every time i see it)

he tweeted this on the day they banned trans people from the military

and like “i have a trans friend” isn’t an excuse you can use or w/e but frank is very good friends with laura jane grace and like i’m pretty sure if he had any issue with trans people he wouldn’t be such good friends with a trans woman

dan’s actually talked a lot about sexuality and gender in liveshows! as a part of the lgbtq+ community himself, he’s generally really great about that stuff and talks about it in a great way to his gigantic audience. (yea he’s never come out and labeled his sexuality but he’s implied his attraction to men to such an extent that it’d be offensive at this point to assume or imply that he’s straight)

after looking a little i couldn’t find him talking about trans issues specifically (although i’m sure it’s happened but i don’t know Every Dan Liveshow Moment ever tbh) but here’s a couple instances of him talking about sexuality & gender roles:

x

x (he equates menstruation to females in this which is obv wrong but i think he was just projecting his own like experience of being confused about puberty etc. but just wanna warn you)

i’m sorry i couldn’t come up with any concrete evidence for him + supporting trans identities but i think it’s just because he hasn’t been asked about that as much as he gets asked about sexuality. everything about him and his personality and ideals leads me to believe that he is, though. i’m sure he’s talked about it before i just can’t find it i’m sorry :((

anyway i hope this helped you a bit! none of them would like you any less as a fan or person for being trans i promise you this! <3

[plant-dad-sulu]

all the even numbers

omfg okay

2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?

Gillian Anderson because I love her, Deforest Kelley because he’s a delight, and Dan Avidan from Game Grumps because he’s lovely

4. What was the last good thing that happened to you?

yesterday a customer at work saw me struggling and said “you’re doing great” and it was really nice, and the day before another customer found out I was new and said “you’re doing great, sweetie” and I love both of them

6. What do you think is the meaning of life?

dunno, man, I think it depends on the person

8. Do you have any pet peeves?

people chewing with their mouths open, but I have misophonia so I’m not sure if that’d be a pet peeve or a symptom. But also people who just leave stuff everywhere, like they make a mess and don’t clean it up the moment they’re done

10. What was your favorite TV show growing up?

I had a lot because I watched a lot of tv, but I used to be a big fan of Doctor Who

12. What are your favorite movies?

Clue is number one in my heart always. I also love Some Like it Hot, Ghostbusters (new and old), The Voyage Home, and Psycho

14. What do you look for in a significant other?

If I can hold a conversation with someone it’s a miracle so that’s like lowest bar

16. What are some things on your bucket list?

huh, I don’t think I actually have anything tbh which is weird because I swear I did. Get a tattoo I guess? idk

18. Do you have any pets or have you ever owned any?

I currently have two fish names Rodney Dangerfish and Louis, and their snail companion Snailison Ford

20. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose and why?

I’m currently in love with Jenny by The Studio Killers as well as Neptune by Sleeping at Last, which are two very different vibes but either one would be wonderful

22. What is your favorite commercial?

do people have those? I don’t even know any current commercials

24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?

A boat.

LMAO no, I’d bring my copy of The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

26. Who is your favourite musical artist?

I’ve never really had one, but if I had to choose then probably the Gorillaz

28. What is your favourite color?

greeeeeeeeeeeen 💚 

30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

transformation obv

32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?

Gillian Anderson. She looks nothing like me but it’s be cool right?

34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?

Gillian Anderson. I’d get to be gorgeous and meet cool people and she’d get some much needed time off

36. Who is your favourite author?

Neil Gaiman, but I don’t read much anymore

38. What is your favorite food ever?

pub burgers

40. Drunken story time! Go!

lmao I don’t drink, but one time at a party with a lot of people who were drunk a dildo fell on me from the ceiling, which was really embarassing because I was waiting for it so I could smack it out of the air but I missed and it hit me in the face instead

42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?

well first I stand there for ten minutes doing nothing and then I wash my hair

44. How are you feeling right now?

conflicted and vaguely uncomfortable with a hint of frustration

46. What is the closest red item to you?

my ipod and headphones

48. Do you love yourself?

sometimes

50. Have you ever met a celebrity?

no I have not and I’ve never known a greater injustice

52. What are you listening to right now?

Just finished listening to Fragile World by Alberto Rosende and am about to hit play on Here’s to Us as sung by Paget Brewster and Paul F. Tompkins on Beyond Belief

54. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?

dated a straight guy, it was fuckin wild

56. Did you have a good childhood?

it was okay, would not replay

58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

LICK. I LICK MY ICE CREAM BECAUSE I’M NOT A SAVAGE. GOOD GOD. but i will bit a popsicle cause those things are disgusting when they melt so gotta go fast

60. What are some of your turn-ons?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

62. Would you go skydiving?

Yeah, and maybe I’d break my leg and have to get a metal rod put in just like my mom. Twinning!

64. Do you ever rent movies?

W

When was

What year was this question written

66. What is your zodiac sign?

Nacho Libra

68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?

Hey Gyllian just answer my question. It’s a simple question. I can’t make it any clearer. I just want an answer, please. I’ve emailed you like three times how can you not understand what I’m asking.

70. What is your stance on abortion?

Pro-choice. 

72. Who do you admire and why?

Gillian Anderson because she’s a great role model, has a great sense of humour, has anxiety but works through it like the hero she is, and is the sourse of like 90% of wlw queer awakenings

74. Have you ever had a near-death experience?

I’ve almost stepped in front of so many cars and also once someone stole my sketchbook

76. Where do you want to live after retirement?

Somewhere quiet and with good wifi

78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?

I’m agnostic and I would ask them what the fuck

80. Are you more introverted or extroverted?

what’s extrovert, never heard of her

82. What do you worry about most?

my friends

84. Who do you compare yourself to?

my friends

86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?

quiet, funny, petty and anxious

88. What belief do you have that many people disagree with?

If you bite a bit off the tip off a goldfish cracker you can fill it with hot chocolate and have a tiny cheese cup

90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

yeah man, nodding’s a thing

92. If you had to teach an academic subject, what subject would you want to teach?

art or music (or pop culture if I knew more because that stuff is hella interesting)

94. What will matter most to you when you're 80 years old?

probably whatever cyborg pet I have at the time. Good ol’ fluffy

96. Are you a perfectionist?

I used to be, but now I have like 0 motivation

98. What is your guilty pleasure?

i’m not guilty about any of my pleasures

100. What is your favorite social media website?

Fuck, probably this hellsite. I jsut really like memes okay?

[bucketofkay]

Music Asks

Requested by @theshippingdocks

~playlist~

1.  a song from the year you were born

ugh i hate this prompt there are like no genuinely good songs from 2000

All The Small Things - Blink 182

(i looked up the top 100 songs of the year and the only two songs id heard of and didnt hate were this and bye bye bye)

2.  a song that reminds you of school

Proud - Heather Small

bc its used in every motivational assembly and end of year video

3.  a song tied to a specific moment in your life

Guren no Yumiya - Linked Horizon

we do not speak of these dark times

4.  a song that is not sung in your native language

Von - Yoko Kanno ft Arnor Dan

icelandic! a language i dont think ive ever used for a music asks playlist (in fact this whole list is turning out really different to usual. ill see if i can keep that up.......)

5.  a song over 5 minutes long

most of the music i listen to is over 5 minutes......

I left you ~ Not sure if I did - Reimi Horikawa

its one of those really slow but beautiful OSTs that i just love

6.  a song under 2 minutes long

Bim Bim Bim - Jay Foreman

there was no limit on what the song was.....

(but its gr8)

7.  an instrumental

oh no.... what will i do...... how do i possibly find an instrumental track i enjoy.....

Stories Not Forgotten - Windsor Airlift

8.  a classical piece

Fur Elise - Beethoven

i just kinda like it?? idk im not rly into classical

i prefer modern orchestral stuff

9.  a song with no percussion

Inevitabalis - Yuki Kajiura

i LOVE pure piano songs

theyre so emotional

10.  something you’ve heard performed live

Time is Running Out - Muse

(this song is my most vivid memory from a concert)

11.  something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed live

Nothing Without You - Emma Blackery

(im sorry ill try and make this the last predictable answer, but no guarantees)

12.  a song by an artist who’s from where you’re from (town/city/state/country)

Together in Electric Dreams - The Human League

god its been so long since ive listened to this song

(the human league are from south yorkshire)

13.  a song made suddenly precious because of a special someone

Saviour of the Waking World - Toby Fox

(anything hs really)

14.  a song made suddenly awful because of a special someone

there isnt one, so:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ shrug midi art - CrystalVisionOKC

15.  something to BELT SHAMELESSLY/do DIVA HANDS to

this obviously screams musical, so:

Gone to Oregon - The Trail to Oregon

16.  something to SCREAM ALONG to

Mr Brightside - The Killers

obvs

17.  a song for raging

Don’t Stop - Black Lagoon

(like the whole ost tbh)

18.  a song that demands lipsyncing into a makeshift microphone

We Built This City - Starship

it was suggested on electric dreams, and its perfect for this one

19.  the last song you had stuck in your head

why is this even a question?? the only songs in my head now are songs from this list

Duder’s a Spy - Brian Holden and Michelle Chamuel

is the last i remember

20.  a song you’re dying to master all the words to

another predictable one, but

Bravely You - Lia

i still cant get the fast bit quite right

21.  a song that you could SLAY at karaoke

hey, an excuse to put another instrumental song in

Rely on Thermal Winds - Seas of Years

(im not gonna be slaying anything at karaoke any time soon)

22.  a song you can’t help but dance to

Hold my Hand - Jess Glynne

the problem with learning dances to songs is that you lowkey never forget them

23.  a song that makes you want to dance on a table

Defying Gravity - Wicked

i struggled w a non-predictable answer for this one, but just bc it needs to be performed dramatically from a height

24.  a song that makes you wanna STRIP

Naked in a Lake - The Trail to Oregon

p self explanatory

25.  a song with a great music video

ive said this before, but im not a music video person, so the next two are def gonna be predictable

Perfect - Emma Blackery

26.  a song that makes you act out the music video when you hear it

uh, none

but the closest id say is 

Lonely People - Orla Gartland

bc it just kinda makes me wanna go out and do something awesome

27.  a song with counting

5 6 7 8 - Steps

i couldnt think of anything better, im sorry

28.  a song with spelling

Revolting Children - Matilda

29.  a song with lots of clapping

Faces Going Places - Dodie Clark and Lucy Moon

this is the only thing i could think of

30.  a song 40 years older than you

back to googling to find a song i dont hate.....

Beyond The Sea - Bobby Darin

31.  a song you wish your parents didn’t know the words to

All About the Bass - Meghan Trainor

(im sorry) my mum WONT STOP SINGING IT

32.  a song whose lyrics shocked you once you were old enough to understand them

The Circle of Life - The Lion King

bc of how fuckin simple the lyrics actually are when you translate them

33.  a song you have ZERO patience for

Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke

no. just no.

34.  a song you’d like your favorite artist to cover

taking my favourite artist as emma blackery (rather than ZHIEND, as i like them for their original music)

and sorry for predictability again:

Not Over You - Tessa Violet

35.  a great song you discovered thanks to a movie

Someday - Steve Earle

(i dont like the original but the bridge to terabithia version is p good)

36. a great song you discovered thanks to television 

First Things First - Neon Trees

37.  a song you’re ashamed to have in your music library

Dead Gorgeous Opening Theme

not really tbh, but i have to save something for 38 (why???)

38.  ok what’s the song you were too ashamed to even post for #37

Mickey Mouse Club March

bc i have a disney compilation cd, and for some reason they decided to put this on instead of any songs from the lion king 2

39.   the most played song in your music library

i have no idea overall, but on my phone probably

Clouded Sky - ZHIEND

especially since its my alarm......

40.  favorite disney song

They Live in You - The Lion King

and thats it done!

i hope this is different enough to every other music ask game i do

~playlist~

[javen-tiger]

I just saw Rouge One again and this time I have THOUGHTS (really really disorganised thoughts)

- First time I saw it I was all why does this man have vaporaters?? he clearly lives on a planet with sufficient water. I’m still confused tbh - obvs they’re there because they’re the universal signifier for Star Wars Farm, but in-universe maybe it’s more efficient to vaporate than to pipe it from somewhere - also I didn’t notice that those patches of green in front of his house were fields the first time I watched it - I wonder what the significance of having the confrontation in the field is?? Is it because the empire callously tramples over Galen’s life, over all he has struggled to create, just as they trample his hardwrought crops? Is it because this is a turning point, a new beginning in the story, just as life springs anew from the earth (from seeds planted before, oooo)?? - overall I really like this biome though. it’s nice. - I really liked how his wife is all ‘fuck you imps’ hell yeah this family is equally passionate about the rebellion, I like that - also Jyn’s stormtrooper toy :) we all need the baddies in our sets :))) - I get that Jyn had to watch to make sure the troopers left & probably couldn’t risk the noise of moving. but hell I would have gone straight down into that thing, FUCK - how did the stormtroopers not notice the rocks had eyes :/ - the rings of the planet at the start of this scene also look super cool. although lmao I didn’t notice the first time I saw it that there was an IMPERIAL SHUTTLE in the frame of the first shot, which made it kinda cool but v/ disorientating w/o anything to latch onto - have I mentioned that Imperial shuttles are fucjing awesome? I love imperial shuttles ok they’re the second best - a fun fact: the second time I wrote ‘shuttle’ I made the typo ‘shittle’ IMPERIAL SHITTLE EVERYONE

- ok I love love love the look of that trading outpost that’s in the rings of somewhere. I love settings that are ‘the rings of ____’ and are literally set on a bunch of rocks that make up the rings of a planet, it always looks really cool. could aslo be like the space version of islands - this time it’s even cooler because it’s two rocks joined together. although idk how that would work. super strong space infrastructure - Male Lead’s accent 👌 - tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit

- look, I’m trying to do this in vaguely chronological order but whatever - the first time I saw this I didn’t know Tarkin was CGI (i figured they found a cushing look-alike and gave him prosthetics or smth??) and I did not notice at all that he wasn’t real - this time I did know and yeah, I kinda did notice he was just a little little bit not real and I feel like that probably will/does bother some people. I did find myself devoting some of my attention in those scenes just to the fact that Tarkin was CGI - overall though I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT !!! :))))) - TARKIN IS IN THIS MOVIE and I don’t care if it had to look a weeny bit fake for that to happen. - I don’t really mind being remided of the fact that I’m watching a movie, a product of human effort, so little irrealisms don’t bother me too much tbh - Tarkin!! :))))

- Jedah city is really really beautiful - I didn’t notice the first time at all, but honestly it is so lovely - there’s this one shot where we see for just a second, the city peeking over it’s walls - it’s v/ lovely, like a white pearl within a rugged orange shell - I also love the star destroyer (3rd best spaceship) LOOMING over the entire city. Scale. - Does anyone else notice that most of the Star Wars spaceships are either 1) Fucking huge 2) carry like 10 people max or 3) fighters - where’s the inbetween ?? Star Destroyer and Millenium Falcon what goes between that. - also the Imperial Cargo ships look like turtles :) 🐢 - I love how the Jedi had a whole Kyber temple. Like they could’ve just gone and picked some up for their sabres but NO they must have a ~spiritual journey~ and almost die on fucking Ilum - IS THAT THE GUY WITH THE DEATH SENTENCE IN 12 SYSTEMS!? :D I didn’t even realise the first time - I love fanservice so muchhhhhh - I love that .5 second shot of SPACE MARX - I have a lot of questions about the Whills, specifically Donnie Yen - why hasn’t the empire killed Donnie Yen - HE’S JUST OUT THERE BRAZENLY USING THE FORCE ALL THE TIME WHAT THE FUCK - also did Jyn’s mum give her a Kyber necklace? I didn’t realise the first time that it was the same stuff. - well what’s the symbolism of that then. Donnie Yen said something but I forget what it was. Jyn carries at her breast that same thing which destroys worlds. Which her Father used to design a machine to destroy worlds. hmmm. - duplicity - or smth lel idk - i, for one, support Cyborg’s men violently attacking the Empire’s resource train - maybe don’t do it in such populated areas - ah, but the entire operation never leaves a populated area - tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit - to be real though, the first time I saw it I didn’t register the initial line that gave the reasoning for the Star Destroyer (Cyborg’s dudes have been attacking the supply chains or whatever) so when I first saw this I thought it was a bunch of random oppourtunist guys in it for the cash that comes w/ precious Kyber - but then they came arrested Male Lead and Jyn and Donnie Yen and Donnie Yen’s friend - is Donnie Yen’s friend also a whill? does this mean not all whills have the force? is that why the whills are still alive? wouldn’t the empire kill them anyway because they’re reminders of the Jedi? - or does Donnie’s friend have the force and has just lost faith - y'see we don’t know. this is part of a problem I have w/ the film that I’ll talk about at the end - i think i saw at least two (2) girls amongst Cyborg’s people. coulda been more though, I mean, aliens? face coverings? - someone else go have a discourse about how most of Cyborg’s dudes look like the popular conception of a terrorist - though that does change a bit once we get a closeup look at them at their base - I really like the look of the inside of Jedah city - ok, how has the Empire not found and killed Cyborg’s dudes? they live within shouting distance of Jedah city in this really obvious structure carved into the rocks - whatever - there’s a really good shot of a felled and buried Jedi statue earlier on, which is super cool - but also why the fuck are the Jedi buuilding giant statues of themselves aren’t they supposed to be 'austere’ or whatever - they had giant statues of themselves in their own temple so whatever. I guess this is from their other temple, the Kyber temple - I love how a centre of civilisation seems to have sprung up around the Jedi temple, as if they know the Jedi there will keep them safe - but the Jedi are gone and it became their doom that they ever had anything to do with them :))))))) - the effects of that horizon ripping are too damn good - also a robot saying 'there are shit odds’ before a dude trys to fly through a field of rapidly moving rocks? I know this formula 😏 - I take major issue with the Pilot going crazy, being crazy for one scene, and then not being crazy at all afterwards. - narratively it makes no sense to have that plot point in the first place if you aren’t going anywhere with it, and it seems a bit callous for him to just 'get better’

- I love how Tarkin is all 'i’m transferring command to me’ - WHITE IMPERIAL IS IN DANGER OF HIS BOSS TAKING THE CREDIT FOR HIS WORK - the empire is really just any other office workplace :) beaurocracy :) - wasn’t anakin’s dictatorship supposed to get rid of this :) remember that whole arc of clone wars tarkin and anakin spent bonding over a mutual predeliction towards fascism :) - it was a lie anakin :) depose the emperor :) - rule the universe with luke, as father and son :)

- I CAN’T BELEIVE ANAKIN LIVES ON A FUCKING LAVA PLANET IN A LAVA CASTLE WITH A LAVA WATERFALL - fuck will his drama never end - exactly how much of his time does Darth spend in his glorified bacta tank? - that shot where darth vader’s shadow is revealed, swallowing White Imperial with it’s sheer size is mint 👌👌 good film making hot damn 👌👌 establish those power relations nice - DON’T CHOKE ON YOUR ASPIRATIONS - the sickest double pun ever know to man

- soundtrack: there is one theme in the soundtrack that I really like until the next note happens - it’s the beggining and swell of the music when the title comes on - I like it until the next note after the swell, which never does it for me at any point in the film

- I really enjoy the fact that Mon Mothma exists - she is Good - also Bail Organa

- ok so they piss off to the Rainy Planet which I think is a really cool biome. It’s nice, my mum hated it with a passion, we had to drive home in the dark while it was raining :) - I actually kinda love how this entire act of the movie is a colossal clusterfuck - and Male Lead has to not shoot the guy! (ok i don’t really see the entire logic behind kiling him since the Death Star is already finished, but … whatever?) - anyway … tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit - why is White Imperial shooting the scientists outside in the rain, like, surely it’s more pleasant inside mate - I really love the massive military mistake that happens. The Rebellion ain’t perfect (tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit). - I also like this between Jyn and Male Lead (wherein Male Lead gets some character :)) - before there was some stuff between Cyborg and Jyn about 'the cause’ and Jyn is all 'it’s not a problem if you don’t look up’ which is clearly the Star Wars version of “Those who do not move, do not notice their chains.” which is a Rosa Luxemburg quote (bless Rosa btw) - It’s an understandable position, but a very frustrating one - she says that stuff about having 'the luxury to be political’ which reminds be of ()()()THE PYRAMID OF NEED()()() I was gonna fill this in later but honestly I can’t be bothered, basically it’s the idea that only once you can fulfill your base needs like food and shelter can you even begin to think about other shit - anyway I really like Male Lead’s stuff about 'being in this fight since he was six years old’ and 'you’re not the only one who lost everything, some of us just decided to do something about it’ HELL YEAh fight that evil empire. too right you’re right stop being an apolitcal sook Jyn - what’s Male Lead’s name I feel suddenly fond of him. It’s Cassian, nice. - anyway Jyn takes that to heart, bless her (also motivated by Dad I guess), and delivers her nice 'Rebellions are built on Hope’ bit. Which lmao reminds me of this quote about rebellions being built on despair, actually:

- (look how fucked my dash is i don’t understand) - anyway there’s division in the Rebellion, some of them (the guy from sherlock … anderson?) are scared it’s understandable, it’s good, it’s tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit 

- SOME REBELS REBEL and thus begins the third act of the movie - ok, the third act is the best, the absolute best, it’s tense and holds your attention like nothing else and time isn’t real anymore and the first two acts feel like they almost never happened, like they’re some faint background noise - really I think part of that 'faint background noise’ is that the 'tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit’ theme about the Rebellion being flawed, just … goes away. besides the initial rebelion of rebels which kicks the action going the theme disappears - maybe it’s there in spirit since it was some tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit, that actually kickstarted the act.. idk it couldn’t really be there for all of act 3 to happen properly and act 3 is the best so whatever. I guess maybe it’s also there a bit when Cassian shoots White Imperial . maybe - it’s also really noticable in the bit where Cassian brings some guys over to help that they are all dudes. - Like I give Star Wars a pass on this mostly actually because they gotta maintain continuity with the seventies, it’s actually quite nice how they end up adding in a bunch of lady pilots etc. (esp. since they cut lady pilots from Return of the Jedi :/ thanks 1983) - idk I just … that was my immediate thought, maybe I’m being silly - even though I give Star Wars a pass I also wouldn’t have minded if they did just make half the rebels women, continuity be damned, I don’t mind being reminded that yes, I am watching a movie ( as i mentioned before).

- Scarrif is such a cool environment. Ok I love it. I also love the shield thing!!! - mind, when the rebels were running through the palms all the palm trees were in straight lines … like … did the empire plant them? - did the empire see some scraggly rainforest and say WE MUST BRING ORDER TO THE GALAXY - or is the empire making money off palm oil on the side??

- NOOO BAIL! DON’T GO BACK TO ALDERAAN?? - when did he say stuff about Obi-Wan and Leia? idk if that was before or what but I dug that. - it was probably a bit before when Mon Mothma (best) said 'war is inevatable’ - ok on that note idk what those other systems were thinking … like … are you gonna overthrow the empire peacefully?

- Except the empire ownes their arses  - The Empire: *commits genocide* Anderson: I respectfully disagree with your opinion on Lasats

- anyway, back to rebelling. Jyn’s Imperial disguise is the number one (1) costume the imps have. it is the best uniform. get and maintain that job for that uniform kids. also I wanna know what exactly it is she’s got on her back. - Cassian is v/ scruffy round the face and I’m surprised none of the othter Imps noticed that he was not regulation. I assume that’s not regulation anyway none of the other officers have face hair - I’m surprised noone noticed it was a different Inspector who went in than came out … but … whatever - ON THE TOPIC OF UNIFORMS - THEY STILL HAVE BOMBADIER HATS IN SPACE - i’m fucking laughing - 'I have an inside job pressing the button that makes the death star fire but i still wear this RIDICULOUS HELMET’ - is this one of those stupid military traditions that just keeps going … like … it’d make sense if you were firing artillery outside I guess?? and recieving fire?? but do they not have an alternative uniform for INSIDE JOBS - both the Rebels and the Empire are guilty of this

- Those explosions were cool as - also i’ve seen this meme too many times:

- idk what else to say other than everything looked really cool. like it was fucking awesome and tense, especially when the Mon Calimari dude showed up

- X-Wings are the best thing. I love X-Wings. I used to have this old X-Wing toy from 197-whatever that I played with at Christmas (it was my dad’s really, and up in Brisbane). Fuck I love X-Wings. Best Plane - I would not get in an X-Wing though. If you get hit in space YOU DIE - A PARACHUTE WILL NOT SAVE YOU YOU WILL DIE fuck that noise - in the background you can hear ’..aptain Antillies’ - WEDGE WEDGE WEDGE WEDGE - did you know I have to start watching Rebels again because I heard Wedge is in it? like once? - unless captain Antillies of Leia’s ship isn’t actually the same person as Wedge, which he wouldn’t be because Vader captured that ship - i’m disappointed - is Antillies a common name in this universe? - it’s cool how Red 5 dies. now Luke can join up :) - that;s a fucked up thing to say whhy am i like this - I looked over at my dad during this bit and he had his hands to his face bless him he was havin’ a good time

- I felt sad when Sassbot died. which is remarkable considering - I did not feel that sad when anyone else died - because most the characters that aren’t Jyn and are in the 'gang’ feel v/ flat to me - like we don’t know much about them or why they’re doing this at all. We don’t even know really why the Pilot defected (Jyn’s dad … spoke to him?) and that’s basically his entire character?? Pilot is kinda sweet and earnest and defected. ok… i guess he’s endearing but I don’t really have a sound motivation here to make me attatched to him - Donnie Yen I guess is motivated because The Force. I felt like he was in this movie just so The Force would be in it. I guess Donnie Yen’s friend goes along because Donnie Yen does and they love each other. I’ll grant that friendship was sold super well, but otherwise who/why are they? Donnie was a Whill who still believes in the force, his friend is a bit disillusioned to all that. This is their character. - THey did do Donnie’s death pretty well though, even though I wasn’t that sad about it I guess. He puts total faith in the Force and if the Force wants him to pull that lever then let it be so, if the force wants him to die then let it be so. - the weird thing is that when Donnie goes out all the rebels are pinned down by super heavy fire, but when his friend runs out he has a long grieving sequence where … he just … doesn’t get shot - no offense but I don’t think the Stormtroopers respect that he is grieving - sometimes I feel bad for stormtroopers bcs they’re just doing their thing having mundane conversations and then get shot. but maybe they shouldn’t have become imps. but maybe they’re conscripts?? tough desicion making, gotta shoot a dude, nasty, grit - Cassian’s a bit better than the others on this front (ignore stormtrooper digression) but still … - eeh maybe i’m just pulling this outta my arse. I did find the characters had a bit more depth the second time through since I paid closer attention to dialouge etc. though.

- I’m genuinely surpriesed the top of the transmissions tower had a railing on the sticky-outy bit. I’m entirely unsurprised it had an unecessary sticky-outy bit. - I’m deeply appreciative of the fact that Jyn and Cassian never kiss, that they just hug it out. Fuck you do not know how much I am glad for that. - bit weirded out by the fact that the Death Star apparently got shitter at aiming?

- the move with the Hammerhead was super cool, but do you know what was cooler? everything involving that transmission - visuals: ace - and just the miraculous hand passing - DARTH VADER HALLWAY SCENE - I was giddy throughout this scene does such a terrific job of being tense and terrifing. - Darth Vader ignites his Sabre and appears in from the dark just slightly further forward than you expected him and damn if that isn’t a) unsettling and b) a wild assertion of power then I don’t know what it is - dude flat out puts a dude ON THE CEILING nice. - “help us help us” changing to “take it take it” is so amazing and desparate as these Rebels realise that nothing, not even their silly bombadier hats, is getting them out of this - and then the guy who took the transmission through the door just barely escapes too. fuck. - AND THEN LEIA GETS IT - LEIA LEIA LEIA - I DID know Leia was CGI the first time but honestly it’s barely noticeable, probably since she has a much smoother face? and fewer lines? - whatever she’s beautiful - I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of posts about the start of ANH in the light of this, how Leia is SO OBVIOUSLY BULSHITTING VADER with her 'im on a mission for the imperial senate’ - reminds me of that scene in Chronicles of Yilmaz VIII: The Outlaw: The Fall of Yilmaz, when Tobian says 'You can’t prove shit’ to the shopkeeper who just accused him of stealing and had security footage of it

- anyway how cool is it that two A New Hope patches have been filled - Leia was at Tatooine for a reason (Obi-Wan) and the Death Star had a glaringly stupid weakness becuase they made a GUY WHO DIDN’T WANNA DO IT MAKE IT - also lmao the empire blew up it’s own records wtf were you thinking Tarkin have fun functioning properly now

[unproduciblesmackdown]

if you were around for the pre-end-of-mh days you might remember times i like to talk to myself extensively, pointlessly, and dumbassedly about my own thoughts, which go nowhere and solve nothing. literally ignore me, talking about bring me the spider cup, i wanna prank crimmins natcho. my proclivity towards trying to figure out mysteries is matched only by my total inability to do so.

firstly i was like ok, this doesn’t necessarily mean eno knows who this guy is, which i think is true but unlikely. he’s probably met him before and while i think it would be funny if this is all some roundabout unnecessary revenge scheme by someone who considers eno his rival, i’d think it was more likely eno was kind of in a position like wallace where maybe they just worked in the same place. (sidenote: he is so clearly evil how do people share an office with him. please fix this mess jerry)

becoz the thing is it was a bit strange eno said he couldnt take a client via a social workers request with the reasoning that he’d left that life behind him? because he is a therapist now after all. but it would make more sense if he used to maybe be associated with / work for a company like that. i dont even know anything about privatised versions of social work but maybe it could work like that. and maybe he worked with crimcrom because sure, maybe crimmins just murdered his way into head of a company or other unsavory methods, and/or maybe also he has actual experience in the field. because maybe he was working at the same place as eno?

because honestly if i was going to take a very vague guess of where the social work is involved here, its that if youre going to do terrible dangerous medical experiments on people, you take people who have connections without the wealth/time/stability to investigate or else just people who wont be missed at all. people whose debilitating struggles and unstable situations you actually have documentation of. and it does seem like everyone with someone missing was relying on kent and co. to find them, because they couldnt themselves, because their sibling/whomever had been targeted for that exact reason, that their family/friends wouldnt have the means to find them. probably this has been going on for a while and most people are just killed and those who arent are kinda just chucked out somewhere to be found by whoever

anyways, the thing with eno, the idea he was working with/for a company earlier is a bit confusing too because its confusing that kent and yumi were killed but eno wasnt? theres the chance that the attempt simply failed, but i had thought that maybe because eno wasnt the semi-public face of the effort like kent was or an official worker like yumi, maybe nobody who put the hit out knew he was even involved. but since im guessing we’re guessing crimmins was directly/indirectly involved in the Day Of Murder and he knows about eno, thats not true……but then its a bit fuzzier why eno wasnt killed if he wasnt just helping out as a friend but sort of associated with his work, like yumi was. maybe it was part of a longer con, like as might be made clearer soonish. because unfortunately i really doubt crim would show his hand like this if he wasnt secure in everything favoring his schemes currently

it also makes sense that eno had been in a position like yumi’s because im also assuming eno thinks its his own files that someone had got hold of. cuz if yumi and kent had the same papers, surely eno did too. and if he was just keeping them to himself it would be one thing but if he was using them with his work like yumi was, then maybe it happened like he said it did only with his file/company in place of yumi’s. which makes sense coz of why he is so uncomfortable and why he was so surprised about it. probably he didnt suppose it had happened until kip said it did, and he suspects it was on his end that it happened but doesnt want to say it because its unpleasant and because he doesnt want to say it to kip.

i was hoping that gayness would be the wrench in the gears aka kip wasnt supposed to learn of the link between kents files and wallaces, but maybe he actually absolutely was? it would make sense why crimmins was so keen to make sure wallace got kip to work with him. because unless it is remarkably nuanced i doubt part of his plan involves trying to get wallace to directly harm anyone, cuz obvs he wouldnt, he is just motivated to not get fired and hopefully do good work. but it seems like a safe guess that kip would see wallaces papers even though kip really should be getting paid for this, and maybe crimmins was assuming that kip had already seen kents file? because if he had worked with eno and gotten his files, he would basically know what must be in kents files. and it apparently wasnt a secret that the files had made it out of the fire with kip

but its a hell of a con because its like, it seemed like a bonus that kip realized the coincidence, because why would crimmins want kip to suspect that wallace is somehow connected with the scheme that kent was investigating / his family and yumi were killed for? but apparently he could guess that kip would meet with eno about it, because i guess he’s tracking one or both of them. speaking of, im hoping that kip hasnt just gotten jumped. im sure its a concern on the best of days that eno told him to be safe, but it seems ominous

just like it seemed ominous when kip told wallace he trusts eno more than anyone. wallace sure learned a lot in those couple of days, namely: he already knows where kip lives exactly and who with and that they are good friends (not sure how coincidental it is that they live in the exact same building, maybe its just convenient), who kip’s ex-boyfriend is and where he works and who he works with and that he and kip have Strong Feelings for each other, who kip’s therapist is and that he sees him once a week and is a old and close friend whom kip trusts above all others, and i’m sure wallace has been able to pick up that kip has a dead brother and theres a story behind it and its a touchy subject. i mean, that’s mostly completely irrelevant info to put into a report, but maybe not if it was relevant to mention that he was working with kip since after all his boss had told him to. but probably crimmins was guessing that if wallace was making headway at all, he had got hold of kip. and since apparently he has eyes on people, that helps too. fix it jerry

im not thinking that its ominous that kip trusts eno so much because he shouldnt or because eno has been lying all along or something—like, if eno suspects himself for being involved in something now, im supposing he hadnt thought so before or hadnt considered it mattered because everything about how everything happened was moot because nobody was going to be continuing the matter and everyone was leading totally different lives. and as for currently, its not like i think eno is like, having the past catch up with him aka he’s betrayed kip or anyones trust before. i mean maybe eno has some totally unrelated dark secret that can be held over him, but even then i doubt that it would be anything where he would be forced to do something to endanger kip to protect himself. rather, i’d guess he might be given more of a non-choice in which he has to do something that will endanger kip because the threat is of causing kip immediate harm. what seems worst is that crimmins is really showing his hand early here maybe, or anyways, he thinks that theres no possible way for eno to prevent whatever crim wants to have happen. which is like, bad

and if he knows how much kip trusts eno, which he probably does, thats bad too…

if wallaces only purpose though was to show kip the files he had, that also has to mean rousing kip’s suspicion…..also, if kip had known about kents files before he’d seen wallace’s, wouldnt he potentially be immediately suspicious enough of wallace to cut off ties with him? maybe that doesn’t matter idk. b/c tbh it seems like theres only so much you can do w/ wallace while preserving his “unwitting involvement in an evil scheme” status, you cant ask him to do anything non-job related. unless his reports are doubling as surveillance or something. but he wouldnt do anything he thought was harmful or over his bounds. even asking him to get kip involved was weird, but at least crim seemed to accurately count on wallace caring too much abt his job to object with stuff rather than simply doing what he had to to keep it

like, clearly something about kip is important to crim’s schemes but how could i guess what. because im guessing we dont have enough information yet, but even if you gave me the info we have now and told me to fill in the blanks however i wanted, i couldnt come up with anything. im really really dumb as hell and not creative enough to take the ventures required to come up with accurate theories. but ok, medical experiments, it could just be anti-monster, but it could also be pro-human which happens to be anti-monster aka more exploitative. cuz it doesnt seem like theyre “Kill All Monsters” as much as “its fine if monsters die but if theyre alive we’ll just dump them somewhere because we just literally assign them no value unless somehow they’re useful towards whatever’s going on here.”

coz kip has two powers: 1) he’s a beloved semipublic figure, and 2) ice and he’s cold

and he has one majorly exploitable weakness in that he’s very afraid for his surrogate family, generally more scared than the average person of being murdered horribly, and knows he has good reasons for that and also trauma

but it seems like if crim wanted to get hold of kip by threatening his loved ones, he could do that at any time? why would wallace need to be involved at all; he wouldnt. why does he need to tip kip off about his own schemes. why did he need to wait five years? why has there been this five year gap? simply development of the mystery scheme? or is it because kip has moved back to c and/or because kip is a semi-public figure again

coz reading between the lines but im supposing that kip had earnestly and strongly intended to follow in kent’s footsteps but was presumably discouraged from this when his family was murdered. but even tho he only told wallace about moving back to c because roy and molly missed it, in the intervention that gets sprung on him and other hints, it sounds like kip still considers himself dedicated to helping people like kent did, which is what his sjw blog is, but he’s majorly aware of the danger of that and unwilling to get anyone killed this time, which is a major limitation, seeing as that happened to him before and everyone is disappeared all the time w/o repercussion. except the repercussion of one tiny group of people who look into it and get murdered, except for eno

but also kip must not have been doing any Helping The Public stuff before he moved to C, because when he says he has to help wallace to justify having thrown so much away, and considering how he’d lost so much in the fire, presumably what he’s thrown away is his life with pascal. im guessing he couldnt have made roy and molly split from him even if he tried, but pascal apparently could be parted from. for like a week, but whatever. he’d been dating pascal before the fire, but if he hadnt been involved in any position of openly helping monsters before the fire and hadnt before moving back to C, that explains why he tried to convince pascal not to go with them.

anyways, uh, see ive lost track of what i was saying. that, while kip is so afraid for the safety of those too close to him, he can also be pressured into a riskier position. but thats by his friends and himself. but maybe if he’s going to be given false information he thinks is from eno, he could do other risky things too. cuz i doubt theres any real protection, as if kent and yumi and eno werent trying to be safe. im guessing kip’s just trying to keep his head down and his cards close to his chest. its frustrating because technically he was right to be immediately suspicious of wallace to the point of associating him with the death of his family and being afraid of helping wallace, but not because wallace’s personal intentions arent good. but still its going to be really awkward if kip gets an idea of what wallace is associated with. cuz its an extremely delicate process that would allow wallace to figure out what was going on and break the news to kip and have kip trust him, so delicate that i doubt it exists and anyways the odds are not in its favor. but its frustrating because i want people to not be friends and not feel betrayed by their bosses and each other and even better, to be friends working together to resolve murders and an evil scheme

anyways. what does crim need from kip. stuff he knows? i doubt he’s trying to corrupt kip’s blog, or otherwise exploit the fact that kip’s probably a trusted community figure. for starters, crim’s already been getting away completely with abduction, murder, arson, etc, for years. unless theres some new Phase of the plan that requires something new. but again, it seems like a big ol coincidence that kip and co moved to C five months before wallace was moved into their exact building with the goal of getting involved with kip, tho wallace obviously doesnt know about all that stuff yet. why does it matter that kips in C. did crim not know where he was prior? did he need kip to be involved in the public sphere so that he could catch hold of him by sending out a social worker too naive and earnest to focus on the suspicious evilness of his new boss? did he just not need kip yet???

it seems strange to consider that crim could like, blackmail or threaten either kip or eno longterm. like, is he about to make a move here. because yeah they both have reasons to be extremely protective of people, which can be leveraged. but like wallace, i dunno how far they could be pushed with doing anything obviously harmful, or doing anything for anyone so obviously evilly motivated. or how long such a chokehold could be maintained. eno being threatened with kip’s wellbeing and being pressured into manipulating kip in one way or another is one thing, and even then how could he be threatened more than once. how could he be expected not to do something to warn someone if the pressing is let up for even a moment? is the point to abduct eno maybe and make kip feel even more afraid, because that would probably admittedly be super effective, but i imagine kip would just withdraw completely from things like being involved with wallace, blogging, etc. but to try to coerce kip into doing something by threatening multiple people is trickier, and what could kip do?

the thing is that i could see kip as being targeted for the ice thing, because thats another coincidence, that he has a really strong ability that seems pretty unusual even for monsters. like, freezing freshly brewed hot tea in a few seconds is really something. and i’m supposing he survived the fire by freezing himself / ice protection, which is really really something. and maybe the fact that he’s also an sjw who’s always scared that someones going to get hurt or killed is just a way to get to him. coz maybe, even probably, kip wasnt supposed to survive the fire, but just be another casualty because crim and co do not give a shit about bothering to spare any monsters life. but the fact that he did, using ice, and that he had his brothers files, all probably wasnt a secret. i mean, the surviving and the files part definitely wasnt, but just knowing the place was on fire and he survived ok probs implies that he had the ability to protect himself somehow, and thats a really impressive ability

so like maybe whatever traits theyre looking for makes kip the ideal target. maybe for once they felt like they couldnt just steal him away normally, but idk why they wouldnt. for example if crim just wanted to kidnap kip, maybe he just has. but that seems like wallace wouldnt need to be involved and eno wouldnt need to be involved and why wait til he’s in C? he doesnt need flushing out to be stolen off the street; he travels to B at least once a week on a schedule and he walks to work.

again, probably theres necessary info we dont even have that will fill in a missing piece here, but even now im too stupid to expand on the stuff we know to imagine up something that would fill in that blank. im too horrible at reading/understanding peoples motivations to even fully Get basic interactions sometimes, and im too uncreative to even come up with stuff like say, guess what crim’s trying to develop over there. maybe theres something about moving from development to initiation that needs kip’s particular involvement (??how??). but why has there been five years of them having been left alone in D, maybe, although how do we even know that

idk all i know is im stupid and i dont like that everyone is going to be even more miserable and endangered and mysteries are a trial for me because i want to die and dont want to have to deal with dying on a cliffhanger, i’ll be an angry ghost. ive probably forgotten a tangent or two i wanted to touch on and that makes me an angry pre-ghost. w/e