#like it was made about a day ago and I've just been going nuts in this tag so it lines up right I guess-

[thebibliosphere]

Hey! I know that this isn't something you struggle with but since a lot of your other followers are disabled as well, it would mean a lot to me if you could publish this ask since I'd like to see if anyone else experiences anything similar to what I'm going through. I'm not asking for anyone to armchair diagnose me, I'd just appreciate not feeling so alone and scared and confused. My general physician is claiming that my anxiety is causing the issues I'll describe but I call bullshit on that:

About two years ago, cca 4 months after my top surgery, my body stopped being able to process oil. Whenever I'd eat anything that was made with oil of any kind, I'd get cramps in the abdomen after a while and I'd get diarrhea. Caffeine started to do this also but in a smaller intensity. I had a hysterectomy a bit after that and they checked my kidneys and liver so I know that those are both ok and not the cause. I also got checked for Celiac since it runs in the family. Because the issue wasn't getting worse and my then general physician was always dismissive, I let it be. When I wasn't having diarrhea, I was constipated, though I did have a bowel movement like once or twice a week. Fast forward to now. In August, it suddenly got a lot worse. At first, even a single drop of oil would make me feel ill. Then, the time period got longer - currently the cramps and the pain last for 48 hours afterwards. I also became unable to digest animal fats, the only meat I can eat is lean chicken and fish. Afterwards, gluten became an issue (Celiac is still negative), and then nuts as well.

My new GP, even though she believes it to be anxiety, gave me Itopride, and it worked for about 3 weeks - I had no cramps, pain, exhaustion, gas or bloating after eating, and I had a bowel movement once a day. But it stopped working two days ago, again without a reason, and the effects started being less effective about a week ago. Even when taking the meds, I have a movement only once in about 8 days, and laxatives make me gassy but nothing happens. I'm also not sure about this, but it seems that chicken is no longer safe either.

I think it's important that if I don't take Itopride, I never even feel the urge to go, so when I say that I've always been constipated, I mean that I don't even feel the need to have a movement. Lately, when I take Itopride, I do get the urge that I do always get when taking it, but it's like I can't go, so I always feel full.

I just feel super scared and I have no idea what's going on. I admit that I have a history of eating disorders (in recovery since May) and I did abuse laxatives about a year ago, but I don't think it was enough to cause such serious issues? I used to take them like once a week and for about 3-4 months.

I'd really appreciate knowing if anyone has ever experienced anything similar or knows about anything like this because I feel like my life is in shambles - can't go outside for long because I might need the toilet suddenly, or I'm in too much pain to walk, I'm afraid to eat, I often feel repulsive, I don't know what might happen in a month, I am becoming incapable of taking care of myself and my flat because I'm just so goddamn tired.

Ooft, I’m sorry. It sounds like you’ll need a colonoscopy to figure this one out, so if you haven’t had one yet, really push for a referral.

Fwiw, I do experience something like this, but it’s from mast cell inflammation in my GI tract. The doc prescribed me bentyl for when things flare up but I’m also on a fiber supplement (citrucel. It’s a lot gentler than other types) to try and keep that from happening. Also if you’re low on b vitamins, your stomach sometimes stops digesting food, so maybe also ask about getting your levels checked. Taking an additional b2 supplement means I can process fats and oils again which I couldn’t before.

I’m not saying this to be like “this is what you have” just throwing them out there as suggestions that might help you piece together what might be wrong.

I hope you get more helpful comments in the notes 💖

[l0vegl0wsinthedark]

Yours, Always and With Love

Warnings: (implied) MCD, angst

For @longdaytogo 🫡🥲

~

Dear "Mycroft",

I think I've finally figured out who you are. And I think it is bloody bollocking funny that I ended up with you as my pen pal. Are you really in the States? Merlin, I want to know what they think of you over there.

And you're wrong. There are people who miss you where you used to live.

You fucked up my nose,

HP

~

I don't know who you think I am, but I'm not that person. You're not always right. You're can't be all good. People like you don't survive for long. I'm nothing like you and even I barely made it. You think you're special but you're just another fool like me. Find a new life like I did. Your government does not deserve your loyalty.

You deserved it for spying on me,

D. Mycroft

~

Malfoy.

I don't do what I do out of a sense of loyalty. I do it because I want to be of some use. I'm definitely not all good and am most certainly a fool, you're right.

People keep writing about my bravery. They don't know I fake it. They don't know how afraid I am all the time. If I were less afraid, I'd find that new life.

HP

~

Dear Potter,

I think I might enjoy tales of your masked cowardice. Write some down and send them along with your next letter.

You do what you do because you were brainwashed into thinking that it is your purpose in life. It is decidedly not, I assure you.

Fake it one more time and find that new life. You'll thank me for it. And maybe you'll stop whinging about your crooked nose.

Sincerely,

Draco Malfoy.

~

Dear Malfoy,

Is my nose actually crooked because Hermione insists it's not, and Ron always starts talking about Ludo Bagman's nose? Needless to say, they're not very convincing. I now know why my dates never owl me back.

Speaking of which, I've had help throughout all of my many celebrated adventures. Perhaps if I had help (read: company) I might actually go start that new life. Find a new name too, maybe, while retaining my real initials of course. I'd hate to have to change my signature.

What do you think fits well with "HP"?

Best,

Harry

~

Dear Hideous Pumpkin,

I think your dates might owl you back if you shaved that scraggly beard off and found new glasses. You look like an expensively dressed homeless person in all your press photos.

We have a way of finding what we seek, I think. Three weeks ago, all I really wanted was to make a connection. Now I'm writing this one prat every other day and it feels quite fulfilling, rather.

You do have company. Look closer.

Best,

Draco M

~

Malfoy,

Sorry about the late reply. Work-related rubbish that you're probably not interested in.

I actually have been considering new frames. Do you think I should get bedazzled ones? I think they're in vogue now. They might help bring out my eyes or something.

It's a funny thing: connection. Kind of unpredictable where one might find 'em, right? I think I'm glad the pen pal agency connected me to you. It's definitely a fulfilling connection.

I'm writing this at 3am right before I run into work and get assigned a new mission. I'll be undercover and incognito so receiving/sending mail won't be possible, so I'll respond next when I'm back home. To make up for it, I've written down some of my earliest memories of my life in the cupboard and how I once locked my cousin in there. Go nuts and I hope you pull something as you laugh at me, you prat.

I'll be thinking of you.

Harry

~

Dear Potter,

I enjoyed your little collection of memories. You really were always an idiot, I've learnt. I don't know what on earth possessed you to believe that any of it would make me laugh, though. You rightfully blame me for a crooked nose but you don't think to unapologetically ruin the people who stomped on you like a bug when you were a baby and then proceeded to keep you under their boot until you were eleven?

I'm flying to England on the 24th. I'll be staying at the Ritz, London. If you're back from your mission and you're well, ring me at the hotel and ask for D. Mycroft. We'll have dinner or something. My treat.

I truly despise your job. I don't like the idea of you cut off from me the world like that.

I hope to see you soon.

Draco

~

Potter, I'm writing only because it would be incredibly rude of me to leave without telling you. I don't know what you think of me after last night. I might have asked you, if you'd been here when I woke up.

I'm sorry.

Malfoy

~

Draco, you absolute fucking idiot.

You write to me instead of ringing me on the number I gave you? And then I stroll into the fucking Ritz clutching sausage rolls and shitty coffee and the receptionist has to politely insist that I bugger off because "Mr. Mycroft has checked out already"?!

TEXT ME with your phone number and address. I'll book the next available flight to you.

You fucking idiot oh my god.

Harry

~

Dear Hideous Pumpkin Head,

You left three of your socks here and none match. Also, I know we only just hung up but I still wanted to write because somehow it's harder to insult you when I'm in front of you or listening to your voice.

My sheets stink of you. I'm never leaving this bed, I think.

Draco

~

Draco. Can't call. Destroy your phone and SIM. Stay within wards. Don't lose sight of your wand.

I will contact you as soon as possible. I am so fucking sorry. My god please be safe I am so sorry.

I love you.

Harry

~

Harry,

Did I really need to get a new owl? I'm perfectly safe and I am not afraid. Not anymore. Not when I have you.

I'm hoping that when you write me back, it will be to tell me that you've handed in your notice. The new flat here is enormous and it feels empty without you. Tell me when you'll be shipping your stuff and I'll make arrangements to have them brought here.

I can't wait.

Love,

Draco

~

Harry, why won't you answer your stupid phone? Honestly, I'm tempted to write to the Ministry right now, if only I hadn't spent the last fifteen years wiping away all traces of my existence. How's the notice period going? Have you started packing yet? It's very, very quiet here and it's unsettling. I may end up getting a talking bird and it'll be your fault.

Please call me.

Love,

Draco

~

Harry your phone is turned off and I can't think why and I am writing separately to Granger as well. If I don't hear from either of you in three days, I'm coming back there and I don't care about fucking dark wizards. I'M a dark wizard, as I was reminded often. We'll fight them off together.

Please I can't bear this respond.

Draco

~

Granger says you went missing eleven days ago. I don't care if you're undercover. My owl won't come back without finding you first.

~

Dear Harry,

Today I woke up and looked out the window and it was snowing. Almost Christmas already! That night at the Ritz you talked about your horrifying Christmas experiences as a child and I vowed to rectify that as soon as I'm able.

I've hung up twenty-two stockings, my darling, and they all have your name on it. I have a list of things I think you'd have loved and I'm going to find them all and stuff those stockings until they're bursting.

I'm getting our tree today. You said you'd always wanted a real one. I wish you were here so we could decorate it together. I hate ladders.

I keep thinking about I can't believe it's been six months alre I want you here I can't pretend anymore Please come take me away with you

I miss you. Every second of every minute, I miss you. I love you more with each passing day. I want you to come back Harry plea

Yours, always and with love,

Draco

~

[pro-mammonologist]

Hello!!I just wanted to drop in and say, remember that one princess rose even in the og game with THAT one mammon card that made everyone go nuts?, yeah I was revisiting it and I remembered that he was wearing garter belt on his thighs now imagine after the event riding his thighs while he wears the belt (+the outfit and maybe some degradation mixed with praise?) I would physically melt into a puddle 🤤🤤so yeah that's what I've been thinking about all day today

“Never would’ve thought you liked me androgynous too…” Mammon says as you kiss his neck eagerly, sucking and biting as you move along.

“Mhm. I like you always.” You mumbled, tenderly pushing aside his clothes to get a better bite at his collarbone.

“Ah-ha… Mc, you’re doin’ too much to me.” He wraps his arms around your body, seemingly enjoying the too much. You lick at his new bite mark as if to apologize for hurting him.

“I can’t help it… it’s like this version of you has made me go fucking crazy.” You avoid tugging at his hair, scared to ruin the extensions and style. You feel guilty for trying to take him in this form, especially with how much you know he’d tear his own clothes off just to get with you. Perhaps you shouldn’t be who you’re worried about. “Mammon… let me stop—“

“No… you can still touch me.” He pushes you away for a second and sits down. “Just don’t ruffle anything and take a bite out of something else.”

You go over to where he is sitting and drop to your knees, now biting and sucking at the exposed flesh of his thighs. You know this will be exposed for the rest of the night and he should too, but he’s still letting you—

“Aw crap, I can’t be all marked up. I-I-I like your bites and stuff but I’m not about to let Lucifer kill me, ya know. Even if the event is done, he’s still gonna have my tail.”

A pang of sadness hits you, but you relinquish your mouth. “No, it’s okay I get it.” You stand up and go to sit beside him but he grabs your hand.

“I don’t wanna leave ya high and dry, baby. Here, why don’t ya ride my thigh. You like that right?” He’s sincere, you can see it in the lust all over his face, his eyes look even more gorgeous when he wants you especially with the thick eyeliner and perfectly applied shadow adorning his pretty face.

“Yeah. I’d love that.” You go to sit on his clean, unclothed thigh but once again—

“Nah, the other one. Don’t worry about cleaning it, it’s just leather baby.” Mammon has been quite the fan of interjecting as of late. You blink at him before sitting down onto his right thigh while he watches you intently. “There we go.” He says, gently rubbing his thumb along your cheek. “Don’t worry bout rushing, take it nice and slow, Mammon’ll guide ya.”

When the leather brushed against your clothed clit, you understood why he had you switch thighs. “Mammon.” You whispered, starting slow and grinding as hard as you could without hurting yourself.

“So pretty like that, you’re so pretty.” He holds a hand on your hip as you ride his thigh, running his thumb along your skin. “Can’t believe you got this worked up already? Don’t like goin’ slow huh pretty baby?”

You look at him and notice the flush on his face, he’s just as aroused that hypocrite. “I wanna go faster.”

“Aw, you wanna go faster?” He’s really enjoying this power trip in this outfit if he’s talking like Lucifer. “You’re gonna have to wait a little longer, I like watching you melt.”

If it weren’t for how much you loved him, you’d probably smack him for being such a smug asshole, but it only made you throb more. “Mammon…” you whimpered instead.

“Come on now, use your words baby. Beg a bit more and I might let you go faster.” He couldn’t help but grin as you felt your body heat up making you more embarrassed.

“Mammon, can I please go faster? Please?” You begged him softly. You were in control 5 minutes ago what just happened?

“Aw, that’s a little weak don’t you think? Beg, beg more.”

“Please, Mammon, please, let me ride your thigh faster. Please!” You kept begging him, at this point, you knew he wasn’t in the mood to go easy on you.

“So fucking beautiful, you’re perfect when you beg like that. I wanna hear more, baby.” Mammon started to bounce his leg, cheering you on in his own way.

“Please, pleaseee Mammon, let me go faster, I need it so bad. Please Mammon!” You watched his face, waiting to see if he was willing to bless you with any mercy whatsoever.

“Wow, didn’t know you could be so obedient like this. I like seeing you get this desperate, maybe I should deny you more. Would you like that? Would you like if I made you desperate like this more often?”

He was smiling again, a twinkle in his eye as he asked you, he reached for your chin to pull your attention toward him. You didn’t know if you wanted to be honest and say the thought is a lot more fun than the practice at least on your end, or if you wanted to appease him and tell him yes you love being this desperate for him.

“Don’t be shy, Mc, you’ve already begged to just ride a little bit faster, it can’t be too hard to say yes or no.” Man, he can be so mean when he wants to.

“Yes.” Being honest, you do like it, you just don’t like the actual wait. When have you ever been so patient for him?

“So fucking good, that’s right. Wanna go a little faster for me now?” Mammon bounced his leg faster as well.

“Yes.” You were undeniably grateful to be able to ride him like this. “Fuck, it feels so good.” As you picked up your pace, you looked at his cock that was desperate to escape from the clothes he was wearing. Guess you can cut him some slack, he’s probably hiding his desperation behind all of this bravado. Perhaps you can abuse that later.

“Can’t have that right now, treasure. As much as you want me inside you, we just gotta wait. I know it must be so hard for you.” He’s definitely projecting, but fuck, is it hot.

“Mammon, I’m already getting close.” You told him and you could see his cock twitch in response.

“Gonna cum all over my thigh? That what you want? You know what, go ahead and go as fast as you want. I wanna see you lose control.”

His wish is your command. You didn’t hold back anymore, going as fast as you needed to get to your peak. “Mammon, I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum all over me, look at me when you do it.”

You snapped your eyes to his face and in that moment, you came hard. He was breathing heavy as your hole clenched around nothing, so empty, but so satisfied. Your clit throbbed as you released, each touch of the leather now making you jolt from overstimulation. “Mammon! Mammon!” You repeated his name a few strained thank yous as you came. He slowly stopped bouncing his leg as you slowed to a stop. You leaned your head forward to nuzzle into the fur on his shoulder, turning your head to look at his face.

“Was that good enough for you, treasure?” He stroked your face.

“Yes, my Mammon.” You answered him, wanting to cuddle or take his cock or whatever. “I know that wasn’t enough for you.” You told him, already predicting what he was about to say.

“Damn straight it wasn’t. You’re lucky I’m obligated to do something, if not you’d be a twitching mess on the floor, begging for more.” He boasted, looking at you like he won. “Better be ready later cuz I ain’t showin’ mercy.”

“I wouldn’t want you to.” You kissed his cheek and slid off of him, looking at the wet slicked leather garter and then back to his eyes that were clearly hungry to taste it. Instead, he patted it away like it was just some water and stood up.

“I would stay with ya but I gotta go to the after party… you gonna be okay alone?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “I just gotta pull myself together, I’ll see you there pretty demon.”

He smiled and left the room, normally he’d stay and wait for you, but Lucifer is probably about to tear up the entire party looking for Mammon. You went ahead and cleaned up before going out to the floor, excited as you were to finish the day, you were sure Mammon was doing everything he could to pass the time faster than you were earlier.

You were certainly in for a treat tonight, that is if Mammon doesn’t pass the fuck out directly after the party. Only time will tell.

[formulaorange]

Winter 2024 Anime Review

Solo Leveling - 24 Episodes

This has been and will be my most anticipated series. We've only scratched the surface of the story and people are going nuts. I've been reading the light novel translations for a while now and I'm not even a little ready for when certain things are animated.

Easily one of the best anime adaptations out there. More to look forward to.

Sidenote - A1 is killing the animations considering it's one of their bigger ones in a while.

Also - they did a really solid job with the sound design, a lot of the timing made certain scenes feel just that much more intense.

9/10 - Amazing

Frieren - 28 episodes

Such a unique watching experience.

I think so many shows these days are fast paced, and action oriented, especially within the fantasy genre. This is such a relaxing and enjoyable watch.

The story is moving and the animations are warm and fuzzy.

Not much I'd change about the series.

10/10 - Masterpiece

The Apothecary Diaries - 24 Episodes

The second half of this series kept up with the flow of the first half really well. I feel like that shouldn't be a feat but it really is these days.

I genuinely love watching the subtleties of the romance in this series and the medical mystery cases are just as fun to watch.

The story has so many little bits and pieces working throughout the show and the last episode had me wrecked for reasons I never saw coming.

Just overall a big fan of this series.

9/10 - Amazing

Delicious in Dungeon - 12/24 Episodes

This series has no right to be this much fun.

The animations match the energy of the show so well and I think it's one of the best "entertainment" series of the season.

I was worried it would start to repeat itself but found that the characters become the highlight of the series and I looked forward to every episode.

(This is the series this season that I'm high-key obsessed with.)

8.5/10 - Very Good+

Shangri-La Frontier - 25 Episodes

One of the most fun looking MMORPG animes I've seen. I remember reading the teaser manga a while ago and was stoked to see it animated. Just a genuinely well done gamer oriented series.

They do such a good job at showing exactly the kinds of small things gamers pay attention to and some of the combat learning is stellar.

Not to mention the sound track honestly did not need to go as hard as it did?!

Really hoping they continue on with this for another season.

8/10 - Very Good

Bucchigiri?! - 12 Episodes (Updated)

I haven't seen any coverage for this show for some reason. It's a one shot that Mappa animated. The story felt quite slow but I personally had fun with it, the character design was satisfying - gives a bit of Jojo's and SK8 vibes. After a few weeks I couldn't stop thinking about it and went back - it ends up being a decently satisfying story. It's rare to see single season shows and I think that was really refreshing.

(Opening and ending are both bangers)

7.5/10 - Good+

Mashle - Season 2 - 12 Episodes

I decided to watch this once all the episodes had aired. I found that it's not one you can be in the mood to watch all the time, but when you are it's just as hilarious as the first season.

I've enjoyed the pacing of the story and I'm looking forward to future seasons.

7.5/10 - Good+

Unwanted Undead - 12 Episodes

Another series I read the manga for when it premiered. There's something about this series that gets me hooked. While the animations aren't anything of note, I find the story is oddly unique and I ended up bingeing all the episodes in one go. Definitely one I'm curious to see where it goes.

7/10 - Good

Mr. Villain's Day Off - 12 Episodes

This is purely for my own personal interest in attractive moody villains with alter ego's. It's a lot of fun to watch and it's just so wholesome.

That's it.

7/10 - Good

[whatswexceles]

I’m really tired.

This is I guess my big long official response to everything that's going on in the rainworld fandom

Since Tuesday I've been recording all my thoughts about this whole thing daily. This is something of a consolidation of all of that plus more. the original abridged version will be posted in a reblog.

I’d like to preface this with a few things

Firstly: This is a criticism of people’s ideas and philosophies. Not them as a person. I don’t despise anyone involved really either, I’m still friends with people on both “sides” of this dispute. I’ll try my best to avoid name dropping regardless

Secondly: if you DARE to harass anyone involved in this you are worse than everyone I’m talking about here

Third: I know there’s lots of misinformation floating around on this and I know I alone can’t clear it all out of my judgments. So if you spot anything I say that is blatantly wrong, I encourage you to tell me. Same goes for criticism, if you disagree with anything i say I wouldn’t mind being told RESPECTFULLY. If you just start attacking me I won’t really bother. I do want to have a conversation here

A few days ago, it came out that the single piece of evidence used to harass the biggest and most influential rain world artists off the internet was faked and spread with little thought or effort. And people have been scared that misinformation will be spread about them, or they’ll make a mistake and get harassed for it. Myself and my friends included.

My goal in this specific essay-post-ramble-thing is to give my thoughts and to write about how I believe to move forward In a way where that doesn't hurt people further, because I honestly don't hold a grudge against anyone who has spoken out against pansear or unwillingly spread misinformation in an attempt to help, or even people who wrote harmful stuff while angry or emotional.

There is, however, one individual who I will not spare sympathy for. I’ll get to them later.

Something I don't see being talked about that much is that misinformation about pansear and the shipping container have been spread since the initial post made calling out SC. The claim was thrown around that “SC is full of zoophiles and groomer defenders” which needless to say, is extremely false. Not only did nobody in the server know of the allegations until they went public (no hypothetical groomer defender would even know of a groomer to be defended), SC also had one of the strictest “no NSFW/suggestive material” rules of most servers I'm in. it was so strict that deez nuts jokes were off limits.

Was this a purposeful attempt to cause a harrasment campaign or just emotions clouding judgment? The answer doesn't really matter because this sentiment was doubled down on and hurt a lot of people, including myself

Why am I bringing this up? Because this misinformation had a similar, smaller effect to what we’re seeing now. People affiliated with SC were worried that they were going to be harassed for being affiliated with something everyone disliked. Today there are dozens of examples of people being worried about being harassed because someone might not like them and might spread misinformation. Let's hope this time we prevent this from going even further…

But, If it does. If the methods used to persecute pansear become the norm, then that hurts everyone, including the people spreading it. To quote myself from the past:

“…looking at how pansear was being nitpicked for problematic behavior, It just looks like the start of a cycle… …because if you foster a following that finds faults in normal behavior, what do you think will happen as soon as *you* make a mistake, or even a mistake you already made gets dug up. well then you’re gonna get nitpicked to oblivion. If You set the norm to be needless criticism that's what will be employed at your trial. People will try to erase your impact.”

A common sentiment I see being thrown around is that “although the main piece of evidence turned out to be faked, pansear is still deplorable because [X]” and while I personally think pansear has made their fair share of mistakes, a lot of things people put in that X factor is just… silly and can be chalked up to either coping mechanisms, panic attacks or just normal people mistakes. And every time I see that there's always a question in the back of my mind: “Is this an echo chamber?” And I'm inclined to say yes, but I also recognize I'm not exactly an authority when it comes to this, so I’ll leave it up to reader interpretation.

There's one specific person that I have a few choice words for, and that is the person who made the fake image that started this whole damned thing. And although we don’t know who you are, I know you are deprived enough to be reading this. I hope you don’t have a good ending, I hope you don’t have a bad ending either, I hope you’re FORGOTTEN, I hope nobody ever utters your name again. I hope you never leave the swamps of irrelevance. I hope you can see the people you’ve hurt thrive more than you ever will.

With the trash out of the way, how do we even move forward? my hope is that we can do it with forgiveness. Not all apologies need to be accepted but we should at least extend our sympathy to each other, it’ll be easier for all of us if we do. We should think about what we all did correctly and what we didn’t, and how to do better next time. We should think about how we all got taken advantage of with this misinformation and how to prove evidence next time. Does it even matter if pansear was deplorable or not when we’ll all likely never see them again? Can we all work on setting our grudges to the side? If we don't like someone we can just not interact with them.

Us as a community have a responsibility to think through all this and figure out our priorities moving forward. We all have a responsibility to coexist with each other. We all have a responsibility to treat everyone with the benefit of the doubt.

I think I speak for everyone in this whole situation when I say that we are ALL tired of this

[flaptopfuture]

i got the new gf plushies several days ago! finally got time/brain to post them

got all the 6 inches but waddles! (i don't want to start with the negatives but. why was he squished)

bill is very shaped and squishable with a nice thick body. the limbs are nice and soft but, sadly, the arms are stitched to his body! you can't pose them and they barely flop when you shake him violently! the hat is directly part of the body instead of stitched on like the mystery shack one. the hat top is made of the same plush material as the rest, and it's a bit oddly shaped. (the top is sloped lol) the hat brim (attached too low so it's super obviously glued on and the hat plush shows under it?? lollol) and bowtie are made of a hard, felty material that i'm not a fan of, it's rough and feels like it's constantly covered in hard glue X_X not what i want to feel on a plush...

overall, i don't think i like him better than TMS bill, but it's a solid and cute bill plush! (i ragged on it real hard but it's not really *bad*)

dipper and mabel are a lot nicer than i expected! they're both pretty firm, and mabel has a noticeable belly shape. dip has a full plush vest, and the hat can flip up so his face can get out from the shade. convenient! (it came flipped and it was v confusing for a sec) IDK what the deal with the hair is. it's flat and stuck together at the back for some reason, not sure what it's going for. there's no head room for the big dipper, but i'd be impressed if a dipper plush/figure included it, thinking about it!

mabel is my favorite of the bunch! this is just a very good mabel. an oddity i just noticed that her hair plush color bleeds thorough the eye where it over laps, never seen that before. my only real complaint is that her left leg is wildly understuffed! it's near flat with almost no stuffing and very, VERY obvious next to the other! (*｀Д´)ノ！！! (right leg is stuffed a lot less than dip's, too)

with this just play merch, i've been picking a ton at them, but it's better than most official gf has historically been (FUNKO BILL.) whahooooo time for the important bit after i yapped your nuts off about plushie fabric

the prophecy fulfilled (ノ゜ー゜)ノ💛💙 these are really fun to mash together, you can just smush them right into each other! the hat brim is also convenient for bill's hat btw

[crossdressingdeath]

Morrigan as the self-proclaimed "elven lore expert" doesn't even work with a human Inquisitor because she doesn't really know what she's doing. She brings to mind someone who discovers some ancient room, and the mere discovery of it makes her think she's special. Bonus points if she also found some trinkets, and by finding them, she considers herself the rightful owner and "expert" on all things about them. Like, no real knowledge, just a desire to preserve ancient stuff that she has no idea what it does. A human Inquisitor should be able to question her knowledge like any Dalish elf, but no one is allowed to, so.. she gets to flaunt her non-existent knowledge and it is irritating.

It's an annoying thing that applies to a lot of DAI's writing, where... Morrigan being so full of herself and thinking that stealing one book from the Dalish made her smarter than them could've been fine as a character flaw! Hell, the game even gently nudges at that with the moment where if Quiz has the arcane knowledge perk—which has the description "A detailed study of magic and the places and creatures that interact with it"—their training allows them to immediately clock that the Well has a magical geas on it, something Morrigan is completely flabbergasted by because she had no idea. There's also a moment earlier where Morrigan is confused by the presence of wolf statues outside the temple; Lavellan and Solas aren't, but if Lavellan explains why the Dalish do that Morrigan completely dismisses it as silly Dalish superstition and so meaningless even though "okay this is the reasoning that has been passed down to me, so it's the best guess I've got for why my ancestors did it" is in fact way better than anything Morrigan can figure out (which is... nothing), a solid line of reasoning to follow, and a decent guess in general. We haven't heard the full reasoning at this point but based on what we know about Solas and Mythal and the Evanuris the Dalish story probably isn't far off the mark! But instead of any acknowledgement of that Morrigan's complete dismissal of Lavellan's explanation as worthless superstition that has nothing to do with the decisions of Lavellan's ancestors is allowed to stand unchallenged.

And it really drives me nuts that the game just lets Morrigan's claim that she's a real expert stand, because it could have been really interesting if they'd done something similar to what they do with Solas's spirit friend where Lavellan can understand the dialogue but no one else can because it's in elven. It makes sense for a human, dwarf or Qunari to take Morrigan at her word; they're told she's an expert, and elven religion and magic aren't things they likely would've studied. But Lavellan should absolutely be able to recognize she's full of shit. Especially mage Lavellan, I will never be over the fact that Dalish mages are priests but mage Lavellan has nothing exclusive to them to say about visiting the temples of their gods (not that Lavellan in general gets to say much about visiting Evanuris temples but y'know). I made a post a while ago about how great it would be if Solas and Lavellan could fuck with Morrigan by lying outright about what the writing in the temple says and watching her go along with everything they say because she absolutely cannot read more of it than the ancient elf or the Dalish elf who seems unusually fluent in the language (and unusually fluent for a Dalish elf is insanely fluent for anyone else) and doesn't want to admit that she can't tell what it says.

At the end of the day Morrigan is an "expert" just because very few people know anything about the eluvians. I don't know how active the Veil Jumpers are at this point in the timeline, so the only people I can say with confidence understand anything about them (discounting ancient elves like Solas and Mythal) are Merrill and Briala. And I mean... Merrill repaired and purified a Blighted eluvian on her own (Morrigan, for context since The Last Court was taken down and not everyone played it, required the help of the incredible Serault glassworks and her eluvian wasn't even Blighted as far as we know) and Briala from what I understand (still haven't read TME, I keep meaning to) controlled a decent chunk of the network for at least a while. Both of them make Morrigan look at best unimpressive in comparison; look at them, and then remember that Morrigan's claim to knowing more about the eluvians than the Dalish is that she found one and fixed it... using a book... that she stole... from the Dalish. It's a combination of the bad vibes of this human woman claiming she knows more than the elves about their own history, the fact that the only knowledge we've seen her collect on the subject is one book that she stole from the Dalish, and the way Quiz can show her up with basically zero effort and the game just brushes past that without acknowledging that it's a massive blow to her credentials. If they'd acknowledged that she clearly doesn't know as much as she thinks she does or had her admit that to some extent she's figuring it out as she goes (and fucking listen to the people around her who know more than her, the way she belittles the Dalish when Lavellan offers an explanation for why there are Fen'Harel statues at the temple—which is more explanation than Morrigan offers, by the way—really makes me want to punch her) it would've been fine! Either acknowledge that her being so sure she knows best is a flaw in her character instead of trying to pretend she's right or have her admit she doesn't know what's best but does know more than a lot of people and wants to help as best she can; the way they handled it is just incredibly messy and really put me off ever seeing her in a game again.

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

i started naruto a few years ago and made it to like the second arc in shippuden before stopping so i never made it to the kakashi backstory but....your notes compel me. tell me more.

okay so like take this with several grains of salt because the sum total of my sources here are "my understanding of the plot and characters as synthesized from the Abridged Revised Illustrated Edition my datemate's been writing me over the last two months", a handful of clips, and the only three (3) episodes of this 600+ episode show i've seen in my life, none of the three of which were relevant to the kakashi backstory

h o w e v e r

oh my god. my dude. my man. [holds him up like longcat] there is so much wrong with you and i'm enthralled.

so like here's the thing. here's the big takeaway that i'm understanding. this whole series is an ongoing exercise in generational trauma bullshit and everyone trying so hard to course-correct from their own tragic backstories that they accidentally set up their kids/students to have completely different but still somehow exactly the same tragic backstories, and naruto's chronic case of shounen anime power-of-friendship-itis is, i mean. yes it's him being the platonic ideal of Pure Of Heart And Dumb Of Ass but it's also a direct response to seeing ninja society's perpetual tragic backstory generator and going "this is bullshit, why are we even fighting? tell me what your side is, and i'll tell you what our side is, and then we can figure out how to make our sides the same side so none of us have to fight about it at all!" and honestly i love that but this ain't about him

so like. to explain kakashi we have to explain kakashi's father sakumo first. because sakumo was one of konoha's powerhouses, been on tons of successful missions, well-liked, well-respected, one of the earliest and loudest adopters of konoha's then-new and radical pivot towards a ninja being people first and disposable tools never ideology.

he really, genuinely believed in that.

except then he and his team went on a mission. and it went really, really badly. and he had to choose between completing the mission objective or saving his teammates' lives, and he chose their lives, because those who fail their missions may be scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse, right?

... no, actually.

just because the ideology had been circulating and people were broadly toeing the party line didn't mean they actually believed in it, and sakumo's mission failure was already causing critical backlash.after sakumo made it back to konoha he was a fucking pariah for it. he was never officially reprimanded, but he didn't need to be if people went out of their way to personally spit at his feet, and... one day young kakashi comes home to find his father's body on the floor, wrists slit and suicide note devolving into begging apologies beside him.

this, as you may imagine, fucked him up, and didn't exactly predispose him towards believing the party line about the value of life.

he gets put on a genin team that was. basically the alpha build of the sasuke-sakura-naruto team dynamic. because it was him, and rin the healer girl with a massive crush on him who he never gave the time of day, and obito the Loudest High-Vis Uchiha Who Ever Lived who had a massive crush on her, and minato their teacher who was doing his absolute best to try and get them through to understanding each other, which is an Ordeal

because kakashi at this point has internalized that the party line is pretty lies for the gullible, that his teammates are only there to drag him down, and it drives obito nuts because that's the same exact bullshit that his family keeps spouting that he's rejected as thoroughly as a 12.9-year-old can, how does kakashi not see that it's bullshit? and there's rin who's looking at kakashi like i can fix him?? and getting upset when he doesn't let them in at all or even really visibly care that they're trying, and it's one hell of a dysfunction junction but minato is working on it.

... and then the worst happens. their team is caught out alone and everything goes wrong. rin is captured and obito's body is half-crushed under a rock and one of kakashi's eyes got slashed out and none of them are going to make it out of this, at this rate, until obito calls kakashi closer and tells him to take his eye. take the sharingan. he'd give him both but the other one got squished. kakashi will do more with it than obito ever did, so use it to save rin. please. and here's kakashi in the middle of field surgery on his dying teammate finally, horribly realizing that sometimes the win condition is, actually, protecting your friends, and he's already lost. but he can still try to save rin, it was obito's dying wish.

by the time he found her it was already too late.

the people who'd captured her had tried, poorly, hastily, messily, to seal one of the Tailed Beasts into her, and she was already dying. she had a demon thrashing in her soul that was tearing her to shreds around it and all kakashi could do was mercy kill her

and she thanked him for it.

and he goes back to konoha, sole survivor of his team, charred by the newfound comprehension of why you have to care and what it feels like to lose what you love and with obito's sharingan in his head and rin's blood on his hands and something in him that was already hanging on by a thread finally snapped.

and the only thing he could think to do, the only way he could even parse that grief through, is to just... make himself into a living memorial to them. he started trying to live as obito. adopt his mannerisms, his interests, craft his entire adult persona around his memories of his friend like a grave offering, and quarantine the bleakly mercenary anything-to-get-the-job-done ice in him off into the hound mask he wore as part of konoha's black ops division, which he joined at the ripe old age of way too fucking young.

he uses the sharingan to incredibly brutally efficient effect, copying enemy jutsus and bringing them back until the library's overflowing with them. but in the end, no matter how many he can technically use, they're still just cheap copies. and so is he.

and in the meantime the uchiha are collectively losing their shit about this random outside kid having one of their eyes in his head and getting all kinds of dubious 'glory' with it, and oh, wouldn't you look at that, they have a prodigy too!

... yeah.

itachi gets shoved through the rank advancements on a timeframe of "whatever he did you have to do it faster and better." and then the kyuubi broke free. and minato and kushina died, and a fuckton of the home guard uchiha died, and suddenly he's the most able-bodied fighter in their clan overnight at age 11 and the uchiha pull strings to get him into ANBU as well.

and kakashi is his teammate.

kakashi is his teammate and kakashi sees in itachi a whole awful lot of the edges of the way kakashi used to be, sees itachi trying to live up to and embody the absolutely impossible ideal of the perfect ninja, and he tries so god damn hard to nudge him gently towards something, anything, other than that.

but in the meantime, the uchiha have been... scheming. with danzo, Guy With The World's Biggest Chip On His Shoulder About Not Being Hokage, who's been marinating in a paranoia spiral for years. danzo had tried to set himself up as kakashi's palpatine, and tried to get him to assassinate hiruzen, and kakashi hears him out, and turns right around and goes to hiruzen with it instead, and danzo is pissed. the uchiha are pissed. danzo warns hiruzen that they're almost definitely going to try again and they're gonna make the uchihas' little prodigy do it this time, and kakashi silently braces to have to fight and maybe kill his teammate he was trying so hard for, and then...

and then itachi, who'd been watching his clan get. worse. for a long time. finds his cousin shisui, his best friend shishui, bleeding out in the dirt, who tells him everything, tells him danzo tried to have shisui killed for finding it out, and it worked, he's dying, but he's not dead yet, so please. make it count.

.......................................... And Then The Uchiha Massacre.

and now itachi is one more person that kakashi tried to care about who got destroyed.

and then fast forward a little bit further, he's been retired from active-duty ANBU after a decade-plus of service because the sharingan is starting to burn him out, he's starting to lurch to a halt like unwound clockwork without something to Do, and... he gets given team seven. the worst of konoha's gremlin children.

a bitter, disillusioned loner with a chip on his shoulder and the skill to back it up, the healer girl with a crush on him that he never gives the time of day, and the Loudest High-Vis Pest In The Village.

you see where this is going.

kakashi who at this point has been coasting along by bouncing between mask-personae for years is now having to dynamically engage with life again because if he isn't present and actively responding to his team then there's a nonzero chance he'll turn around to find all three of them chewing on the drywall and he cannot default to scripted responses because they don't work on a pack of middle schoolers hellbent on squabbling til the cows come home. and it's kind of good for him?

but also, uh. [gestures broadly towards... Sasuke(TM) and the rest of the plot]

and yeah i'm not gonna get too much further into it because i'm not confident enough in my own comprehension of the timeline to do that XD but like.

hatake kakashi is a scarecrow of a man stitched together out of his dead best friend, a hunting hound, and his dead best friend again, who's spent his entire life behind one mask or another, who over the course of the series keeps surviving shit that by all odds he shouldn't have, or survives specifically because the people he cares about throw their plot armor around him before they die, and he has a personality mostly composed of the crumpled-up pages of the memetically worst-written trashy bodice-ripper novels ever published because obito used to love them and the inexplicable receipts of other people's love for him, and i want to put him in a gas station hot dog roller and perceive him.

thank you for coming to my ted talk XD

[sigmxnd]

his turn (short story)

decided to post some of my writing for my total drama infection au that i don't think i've ever posted about on here 😭😭 i just finished it like. 2 days ago so here it goes. enjoy :33 (ALSO PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT IT OMFG)

tw for very mild graphic descriptions of the infected ones and an attack, but it's nothing bad

~

cody silently tip-toed through the mostly quiet woods, extremely careful on avoiding sticks and bushes and.. anything. in the distance in all directions, he could hear miscellaneous noise from the other people roaming around. or were they even considered people at this point? they acted more like creatures that could (sort of) talk.

he could hear them all the time, but it was usually from the safety (as much as it could serve) of the cabin. it was unnerving to hear their screams and the crash of something being attacked or pushed over, with the occasional blood curdling scream of someone being attacked. those screams kept him awake at night.

until then, he wasn't allowed on foraging duty. gwen didn't trust he wouldn't accidentally trip and make noise, or lead someone to their hiding spot. he gladly accepted this choice, he didn't want it anyway. going outside was a risk he didn't think he wanted to take, when there was a possibility of death. but tonight, she decided to send him out. why? he didn't want to ask, the finality of the look in her eyes only made him want to get away rather than stay and ask questions.

"get berries," she'd whispered to him, very slowly and quietly opening the cabin door. "nuts, scraps, animals, anything edible you find. don't be stupid." then he was pushed out and the door was quietly closed behind him, he could hear them putting the vanity against the door again. they'd let him back him if he came back the same as when he left, but if he got infected.. not knowing what would happen next made him shiver.

they'd never let him back in, surely. he knew that, he was there the night geoff came back infected and nearly put the entire cabin out of survivors. trying to ignore his desperate crying was the worst part. the last thing he wanted was to end up like him, left alone to survive on his own, surrounded by the other mindless, infected campers. it terrified him.

spotting a blueberry bush, he quickly (and quietly) as he could, picked all the ones in sight, making sure to look around him and listen for anyone lurking.

he put the berries in a little pouch that he'd been given, standing up and continuing on to hopefully find more. this part of the forest was quieter, which was somehow calming but just as scary. some infected ones didn't make noise, so he could easily be right next to one right then, and he'd never know until it was too late.

just to double check, he looked around him and shined the flashlight in every direction. he was grateful they didn't have eyes anymore, so they couldn't see his light. the unfortunate thing was they were dangerous because of their heightened hearing and, supposedly, touch. he wasn't one to theorize, but he'd heard gwen talking about how they could probably feel someone coming through vibrations in the ground too. another reason to be careful when going outside.

he'd kept going until he figured he'd picked the fruit off of maybe 4 different bushes, the pouch a little over halfway full. he didn't find any food scraps (and didn't trust himself to quietly catch any animals), which was a little disappointing, but he didn't have time to complain.

he started heading back the way he came (he thought), trying to be fast. in some time, he could see the cabin just ahead, he just needed to be a little faster..

he nearly let out a loud gasp when he accidentally stepped on a thin twig, causing it to make a cracking sound. his hand flew to his mouth, shifting the flashlight around and listening. for a moment, he didn't hear anything, but when he thought it was safe to keep walking, he heard the sound of another voice.

incoherent mumbling, rustling of bushes, and more sticks snapping behind him. his hearing became faint by his increasing heartbeat thumping in his ears, his hands starting to shake. he turned around and flashed the light on two bored holes that were very slightly obscured by dark brown bangs.

noah didn't flinch as the light was illuminating him, continuing to say incomprehensible words under his breath and slightly move around in his space. he'd seem confused and lost if someone didn't know any better.

'i need to run. i need to back away. i need to do something right now.'

but no matter how much his mind and body screamed, he felt like he couldn't move.

he was hardly recognizable anymore, but even still, it was for sure him. for the life of him, cody couldn't remember if he was one of the aggressive ones or not. but truly it didn't matter, he really needed to escape. he took a step back, landing on grass. slowly, he took another step back, keeping quiet.

he really started to panic when noah got closer.

'he can't see me.' he desperately repeated in his head, but it wasn't enough to calm himself down. he kept a firm, terrified grip on the flashlight, trying to fight the urge to run for it. as much as it might save his life, it wasn't worth the possibility of anyone finding them.

"cody, what are you-" he heard someone harshly whisper behind him, cutting themselves off quicker than he'd ever heard as soon as he saw noah snap his attention to in front of him. he didn't know what was worse, when he was making noise, or being uncharacteristically, eerily, horrifyingly still.

he saw the person soundlessly approach him on the side out of the corner of his eye, keeping a stern expression with wide eyes. gwen met his eyes for a second, before he saw her move her own flashlight into the bushes. hesitantly, he moved his flashlight in the same direction. in a cliché fashion, he wished he hadn't.

they were surrounded. empty black holes for eyes, all focused on them. statues hidden in the night, hungry panthers waiting to strike. cody had no idea if they had been there the whole time, or if they showed up when she did.

she slowly grabbed his arm, forcing them both to continue walking backwards. cody kept his eyes locked in front of him, feeling too paralyzed to even attempt to look around him. for a moment, he thought he could feel the rush of stupidity when he thought he heard a dull thud, only for it to quickly be replaced by those same screams he dreaded to hear so close.

sharp, serrated teeth sank gum deep in gwen's arm, her flashlight rustling the leaves as it fell into the bushes the creatures peeked from. cody miraculously dove out of the way before the goth was tackled to the ground, his mind flickered with millions of thanks for his luck, though the panic flushed back in.

crying through the pain, gwen gathered whatever strength she had left in her.

"RUN!!"

he let instincts overtake him, his fear of death apparent in the way he somehow outran whatever had surely come after him in the wake of his flee.

beth hung out the cabin entryway, holding out a hand to pull cody inside. he fell to the cabin floor from exhaustion and clumsiness as he tripped on the doorframe instead, beth and dj quickly slamming the door and shoving the vanity in front of it once more. cody curled into the fetal position and cried as quietly as he could, the three of them flincing in fear every time a scream rang through the woods and multiple slams attempted to wear down the door.

"LET ME IN. LET ME IN. LET ME IN."

some of it unrecognizable, each voice indistinguishable from one another. he could swear he heard gwen's voice among the desperate crowd, after the painful wails died out but the banging persisted.

"LET ME IN."

when the lights went out, and by some miracle the woods became still, cody knew his dreams would be haunted by the ones he couldn't save. it happened every night, as if his mind was stained, and it would stay that way for a long, long time.

[daincrediblegg]

tagged by @desvoeux , thank you <3

last song: enemy- Imagine Dragons (arcane intro ver. it's good what do you want)

last book: got a start reading icebound in the arctic a couple of days ago because I wanted to look into crozier family history a little more. it's a great read so far I fucking love learning about my man.

last movie: sorry I'm going to use this category as a platform to talk a lot. Re-watched The Lion in Winter last night with my mom (it's one of her favorite movies of all time) and once again was blown away by it all and it makes Succession look like a fucking kiddie pool for family issues. also it has only just now connected with me that it's about fucking richard the lionheart which like. holy fucking shit this thing has so much historical precedent and weight and it's all just so fucking nuts. HE'S GAY!!!! I love it. also really funny that they made peter o'toole play henry ii TWICE (I adore Beckett btw.) but also I really wanna talk about this julie andrews christmas movie I watched the other night called "One Special Night" that she made in 1999 with James Garner (her co-star in victor victoria, btw) and it's basically a hallmark christmas movie but way fucking better because it's about old people problems and they're really fucking so sweet in it and it's so good on so many levels it's ridiculous I don't want to shut up about it. (this watch was brought to you by having re-watched the Eloise movies and then watching The Sound of Music and feeling extremely nostalgic about salzburg and missing it and wanting to go back. but also not being able to get the lonely goatheard out of my fucking head for 3 days straight. you're welcome)

last television show: started squid game 2. unfortunately I like it even though its cultural impact has a lot of problems. and I know that the people a the studio are going to suck about it and miss the point again but even worse this time bc it's parsing through new layers of subservience to capitalism this time. (also. Gong Yoo my beloved <3). but also I finished dune prophecy last night and I hate how much I want to be in a gay relationship with valya harkonen it makes me look so so stupid (look I've had a thing about emily watson since chernobyl ok? nobody @ me)

sweet/savoury/spicy: savory for sure

relationship status: blissfully unengaged thank you for asking (... 👀 unless?)

last thing I looked up on the internet: one special night because I fucking forgor James Garner's name for a second ngl.

current obsession: other than... um... the obvious. a few things: The Leftist Cooks video essays on youtube which are genuinely. the most comprehensive and academically sound video essays on the entire platform and I'm serious about this. just wrapped up their representation matters/spiderverse video a few days ago and sarah and neil did a really good job of constructing a comprehensive argument that both reaffirmed and even in some places challenged some stuff that I already knew??? those guys just do a great job at it all. I've also been saving extant examples of ballgowns from the 1850's/1860's because I got my hands on some fancy material on discount for christmas and I'm going to make one so help me god. it's going to be snow queen themed. (stay tuned). also I await new adam savage raptor build updates with rapt and rabid glee.

looking forward to: getting my fuckass new glasses fixed because I am dying of the eyestrain that they are causing. but also. new magic wand got delivered today yaaaaaay 🥰

no pressure tags: @prismatica-the-strange @roaming-thru-roses @your-mighty-words-astound-me @ashton-slashton @theboarsbride @brotherdusk @marshmallow--galaxies @spockvarietyhour @hamishlinklaters @sunlaire

[mosneakers]

Lily extends a comforting offer to make tea, a welcoming gesture to warm everyone up after coming in from the cold. While she does that, Montgomery, the composed alpha, invites the Darlings to gather in the Living Room for a chat.

Montgomery: Well, Donna, this is a reunion I didn't anticipate in this lifetime. All this time has passed. You're still just as radiant as I remember, by the way.

Brick: Ay... obviously. We all got eyes, buddy. Keep it pushin'.

Donna: Brick. [Polite smile] Thank you, Montgomery. I appreciate the compliment.

Montgomery: Mr. Darling, I'd like to express my gratitude, if I may. You have stepped up where I fell short. Brick has shared stories about your family, and your other children. It's clear you've given them the life they deserve.

Yellow: Please, feel free to call me Yellow. Our children are the most precious parts of our lives. But I couldn't have done it without this angel right here.

The Darlings jump as the front door bursts open, allowing a flurry of cold air to swirl into the house.

Roxanne: Man, it's colder than a vampire's left nut out there!

Brick turned around and waved. Brick: Hey Rox. Welcome back.

Roxanne: Hey kiddo! How's it shakin'?

Roxanne hands Lily over a large bag filled with fresh meat from her recent hunt, and begins to remove layers of outerwear. Roxanne: That's for you, darlin'. Enjoy it while it's still warm. [Grins] Lily: [Smiles] Oh, thank you sweetie! I'm getting too old to hunt in the winter anymore. I'll go put this away for later. Montgomery: That's Roxanne. Roxanne: That's me, his main squeeze for the moment. [Chuckles]

Roxanne plops down on Montgomery's lap, and formally introduces herself to Donna and Yellow, then gives them a brief rundown on werewolf culture and the ways of the Collective.

Yellow: So Montgomery, you're sitting before us right now. How is this possible? Donna and I assumed you were gone all those years ago. Montgomery: In brief, I discovered that I've actually been a descendant of werewolves all along. The trait was dormant until that fateful day. The previous alpha, a mooncaster, was searching for descendants to build a strong pack. He found me and brought me back, introducing me to Lycanthropy. I've never felt more free.

Roxanne: Brick knows that feeling, don'tcha kid?

Montgomery: It's in his blood. He's an excellent wolf, a valuable asset to our pack. But, I'll be frank with you, Donna. The boy lacks discipline. He has no respect for his elders.

Donna: Well that's not true. Brick has made mistakes, but he's always been a well-mannered young man. Perhaps you've yet to get to truly know him; he's used to having a big support system.

Yellow: Speaking of support systems, Montgomery, in your expert werewolf opinion, do you think Brick is ready to safely reunite with his children? They need him just as much as he needs them.

Montgomery pauses, contemplating, as Lily chimes in.

Lily: In our pack, we have Little Jak, whom I've raised from a pup. Much like your connection with Brick, Yellow, I see Jak as my own. Brick is good with him.

Donna warmly thanks Lily for her input and glances at Montgomery and Roxanne, who both nod in agreement.

Montgomery: Well that settles it. For short periods of time only, Brick will be permitted to take trips to Brindleton Bay to visit his kids. But while he's away, I'll require frequent communication with the two of you.

[momo-de-avis]

I'm going to try and explain my head, which is about to explode, as best I can. I have a friend who is a very good friend and has helped me immensely with my work, getting me to join numerous other companies and widen my experience. But he's intense. He has a way of seeing the world that is divided in absolutes, in extremes, and unwittingly (I don't doubt it's all out of good intentions) he puts so much pressure on a person more than once someone had to tell him to back off.

To summarise, he got me into a company. It didn't work out (this was the woman who did a million different trainings and I got pissed at her and left). He got me into another company, it also didn't work out (this was the company whose sales tanked and they cancelled all my bookings. They're also extremely disorganised and I hate working with disorganised people). I expressed my frustration to him, cause right now I'm only with Blue and Purple companies, and they don't pay well. Well, blue company actually pays miserally bad.

I've been feeling frustration out of this for a month now. A couple days ago a free tour guide approached me and we had a chat. He said he was interested in working for Blue Company but they were rude to him. When he asked me what they paid us, I told him. He was quite shocked. He said he did food tours for another company and they paid substantially better. Later that day I'm doing a food tour and I'm at this restaurant talking to the waiter. He says he has another guide that shows up once in a while, and she'd paid X amount disregarding the number of people. Then he says 'you must be paid the same, right?' he was shocked when I said we are paid half, and that's for a full gorup. Less people means less money. He was even more shocked when he learnt that yes, we are paid less if clients simply don't show up.

That stacked up on my frustration. But then friend came along and made ir worse.

The thing he does is that he tries to offer solutions, which I'm appreciative of. But they're intense and he lacks perspective on how other people live their life and their constraints. He says to me my best chance at life, at a career, is doing a post-grad in tour guiding, a well know post grad course that is privileged by many companies. Then he says 'do you have 3000€?' and insists what I should do is sign up for it now. 'You're still in time for entering this school year,' he says. I have to explain to him that yeah, I have 3000€ but it's not like I can just squander it like that. 'Oh but it's okay,' he explains, 'because it's not 3000€ in one go, it's in installments!' Like that solves anything. Brother I have a mortgage to pay. I have pets and a life together with another human being. One just doesn't turn and say 'mommy I'm back in school, please pay' a bitch has to discuss these things.

I tell him my future intentions is to take the exam to become a certified tour guide. But like, future future. He asks me 'when? this year?' I'm like, are you fucking nuts, the exams are in January. He groans like I'm making the wrong decision. I have to hurry, he insists. I have to sign up as soon as possible.

And my question is, fucking why, my brother? I know I'm 35, but I'm not dead, jesus. Who fucking cares if I take the exam when I'm 40?

And he talks with such an intensity, just shooting words like a machine gun, pow pow pow, going at it, 'you gotta', 'you must', and with eloquently stringed sentences like 'this is the turning point of your career' that I feel completely pushed against the wall. This mf really makes me think that I know nothing about my life and that I'm squandering every second I'm alive and not thinking of work. It's enough to be self-conscious of the fact that I'm 35 and starting a career, but he talks, he persists, he insists, like I'm going to be dead by 40, or that there's a time-limit on being a tour guide, a certified tour guide, or whatever fucking propsect at a career in this area he has conceived.

So then we get to the problem. After weeks of this, my brain is malting through my ears. I'm dissatisfied with my situations, I'm resentful of Blue Company because I've been trying to not rely on it completely and yet everything went so wrong I feel I'm being held hostage by them. And he keeps pressuring me with these things, like this genuinely the most intense career advisor you can imagine

But then

He calls me and tells me he has another gig for me. It's a circuit. A circuit means I'll be away from home for 7 days and I'll be solely responsible for a group of fuck knows how many americans. It starts in Porto, it involves some shit in the douro valley, wine tastings, visit to a cellar, and then a day in Aveiro, a city I've been to ONCE and now I should be able to do a walk tour, and then proceeds to Lisbon and Sintra, which is easy peasy.

I've always wanted to do circuits. This one pays extremelly well. But I feel unprepared. I don't know Aveiro, I don't know if I have time to study, and I feel insecure.

But here he comes. He uses absolute statements that completely shake me. 'This will be a hallmark of change for your career' or 'you will have to rescind a week of availability to Blue Company, and things might take a turn' or 'you will become a promoter of Portuguese Heritage'

And I'm sitting there like. Bro I'mm be the queen of England if you keep going. It's not enough that he's been pressuring me to continue, to strive, to think of work at every waking hour, to drop 3000€ for yet another year in my life, to jump into the chance of getting my certification as soon as possible lest I burst into flames at menopause or some shit, and now he offers me a chance of going from 'easy peasy work' to 'completely unfamiliar territory for the first time and utter responsibility' overfuckingnight. And to top it all off, he goes 'you must give me an answer in 48h'.

I'm in such a state, I have a Jewish Heritage tour tomorrow, which I have done before, with a company that is really one of those the clients pay good fucking money and I've been feeling for two weeks like I can't do it. I feel small as shit and I just want to scream at this guy 'SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, NOT ALL OF US GO AT IT AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT MY GUY'

I have to give him an answer tomorrow about the circuit and I don't know what to do. I feel hesitant but my earthbound, grounded acquaintances and friends (including bf) had expressed in more humane terms how this would be a fantastic opportunity for me, and they've offered me info on Aveiro and tricks to learn to get around on a walking tour. Seriously I only remember one canal in Aveiro.

I need a vacation

[lucy90712]

Road to recovery- Part 5

Masterlist

Over the last month Pablo and I have talked pretty much every day in fact there was only one day where we didn't talk at all and that was because we both just happened to have completely opposite schedules so there was no time in the day for us to talk. It has been so nice having someone to talk to about life but also about our injury as there are times you just want to know that someone else is feeling the same as you are and Pablo is always there to tell me what I need to hear. So far things have been tough for both of us as we are usually such active people but when one of us has a bad day the other is always there to offer encouragement which on some days has been much needed. 

Pablo has stuck by his promise of helping me any time I need it too. There has been times that my brother hasn't been able to take me to where I need to go as he's been away racing but every time Pablo has helped me by getting one of his teammates to drive me. Usually Pedri will drive me but sometimes Fermin has driven me place too. It's still weird to me every time one of them shows up as they are always so nice that you could easily forget that they are both famous footballers but that's always in the back of my mind when I see them. I get along with both Pedri and Fermin very well and now I have their numbers too so I can text them if I need help getting somewhere. If you'd have told me on the day I injured myself that a month later I'd have 3 footballers numbers and talk to one everyday I'd have told you that you were nuts. 

Yesterday Pablo and I were texting like we usually do when he asked me if I'd want to go to his place to spend a few hours together. A month ago that would've sent me into a spiral but the two of us have been talking so much that it didn't feel as weird anymore it was just like agreeing to see any other friend. I quickly agreed to see him as we haven't seen each other in person since leaving the hospital and neither of us have seen that many people recently either. Of course we can't do much but we both agreed that it would be nice to at least have some company. 

Although he only asked yesterday Pablo and I agreed to meet today as neither of us have physio today and it's not like we are doing much else. Luckily my brother is able to drive me there all I had to do was tell him when to pick me up and give him the address when he arrives oh and I had to promise that I wouldn't do anything he wouldn't do which is up for interpretation. Everything takes me so much longer now that I can't use my knee so I had to get up earlier than I usually would to shower and get myself ready. I had no idea what to wear as most days I've been wearing sweatpants and a hoodie as no one really sees me but I felt like I should put more effort in if I'm going to see Pablo. In end I put on some jeans and a cute top which looked good but was still comfortable I even did my hair which has spent most of its time up in a bun or a ponytail until today. 

Before I knew it Alonso was letting himself in to my apartment and coming to help me downstairs. He took my bag off me which has all my necessities as well as pain killers as sometimes I still need to take some as the day goes on and we slowly made our way to the lift and then out to his car. I got myself settled into the car while Alonso took my crutches and put them in the back for me before he got in himself. 

"My little sister off to a football players house never thought I'd say those words" Alonso laughed 

"Me neither but here we are" I said 

"I know you've been talking to him every day but I want you to be careful I'm sure he's a great guy but I don't want him taking advantage of you just because he thinks you are going through a tough time and he can convince you to do anything he wants" he lectured 

"He's not like that Alonso he's really sweet and so are the rest of his friend he wouldn't take advantage of me" I said 

"I'm not saying he will but bare in mind both of you are going through a tough time and having someone there for you can skew your feelings for someone I trust your judgement but I just don't want you to get hurt" he said 

"I know but I'm an adult now I can look after myself" I said 

"Just know if anything goes south I now know where he lives and I'm not afraid to show him he can't hurt my sister" he half threatened half joked 

"Like you could win a fight" I laughed 

"I'm starting to wonder why I agreed to drive you" he joked 

Once we arrived Alonso helped me up to Pablo's door even though I was fine doing it myself and he rung the doorbell just as I was about to text Pablo to say I'd arrived. I think he just wanted to see Pablo and make sure I hadn't been given some random address but at the same time I felt embarrassed that when Pablo opened the door my brother would just be stood behind me like I'm a child but he probably won't even think about it. 

Surprisingly when Pablo answered the door he completely ignored Alonso and just pulled me in for a hug straight away. The hug wasn't very steady as the both of us still need our crutches for support but it still felt good to be in his arms. Just like the first time he hugged me I felt safe and like I was at home which I really shouldn't be feeling with a guy I've only met in person twice but it's just how I feel. Once we both pulled away he invited me in so I said goodbye to Alonso before happily going inside suddenly not caring about my brother and if he was going to pick me up later. 

Pablo was so sweet he made sure I was comfortable before going to get me some water even though I said I could do it myself. When he sat down there was an awkward silence for a minute before he asked me how I've been doing which started a conversation and suddenly it was like we had never been apart. It was like seeing an old friend that once you see each other it's like you haven't spent a minute apart even if it's been years. For some reason Pablo and I seemed to just connect with each other and I don't know if part of that is because we are going through the same thing or if we would've been the same if we'd met any other time in our lives. That doesn't matter though because we are friends now and I'm so happy to have someone like Pablo in my life. 

We talked about a whole lot of nothing for ages the time flew by so quickly that we didn't even realise that we hadn't moved for hours until we both said we were hungry at the exact same time which made us laugh. I offered to make lunch for the both of us but Pablo wouldn't let me he insisted that we order food so I tried to offer to pay half but he shut that down very quickly. I felt so bad because he's been doing so much for me and I feel like I'm not giving him anything in return but there's not much I can do as I don't have as big of a support system around me as Pablo does. 

"I feel bad you doing all this for me and I'm not helping you at all" I said 

"Don't say that you have done loads to help me whenever I need someone to talk to you are always there without your support I'd be such a mess don't feel like you have to physically do anything to help me your emotional support is what I need the most" he said 

"Ok but the second you do need anything other than emotional support please tell me and I'll do it" I said 

"I promise I'll call you if I need anything ok as long as you promise not to stress about this again" he said 

"I promise" I replied 

Soon enough our food arrived and after we ate we went back to talking. As we were talking I happened to mention that I'd never played fifa purely because I'd never had much of an interest in football before but as soon as I said that Pablo handed me a controller and started loading fifa. I had no idea what I was doing so he had to teach me all the controls and how the game works but once he'd done that we went straight in. I was so shit at the game I could barely move the players so Pablo beat me 10-0 like it was nothing and I could tell he wasn't even trying. I had no choice but to laugh at how bad I was but Pablo was determined to teach me so he made me sit right next to him so he could help me. Pablo set it up so we were playing against someone random and when the game started he put his hands on top of mine to help me with the controls. We did really well which was a surprise because the whole time all I could think about was the fact that Pablo's hands were on mine and that his body was so close to mine. 

Even after we stopped playing we still sat right next to each other and Pablo had one arm resting behind my back. I could feel my breathing getting quicker by the second but luckily my phone saved me as it started ringing so I had to answer it which made things a lot less awkward. It was my brother asking me when I wanted to be picked up and telling me if I needed him to pick me up it had to be before a certain time as he had something to do. I made him wait a second while I talked to Pablo and we agreed that it would be best if Alonso came to pick me up which meant we had about an hour left together. 

The hour went by so quickly but it was ok because Pablo and I already agreed that we should see each other more often and he promised to text me when he was next free. After taking my stuff from me Alonso waited in the car while I said goodbye to Pablo. He hugged me first before he leaned down and kissed my cheek. In that moment I was so thankful that it was starting to get dark outside as otherwise Pablo would've seen my cheeks turn a bright shade of pink at feeling his lips on me. After that we said goodbye and I hobbled away as quickly as I possibly could only to be met with teasing remarks from my brother once I got in the car which earned him a punch in the arm so he shut up after that leaving me to think about what just happened.

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: Desecrate

𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙹𝚊𝚗 𝟾𝚝𝚑 || 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚛

Can you believe we're already 8 days into 2025?? The year I was supposed to publish this novel???

I can't. Kit can't, his story isn't even finished yet. I'm 21,139 words into this draft. The draft that isn't even the final draft yet, because I decided in July that I needed to scrap what was my final draft of Desecrate and start from scratch again.

Needless to say, plans have changed.

Especially since 2024 was such a hard year and 2025 doesn't look like it will be any easier. It doesn't help that this year marks 5 years since I lost my Papa and a big part of Desecrate is Kit coping with the loss of his grandfather. Things are hard, and Kit's not making them any easier on me.

But that's okay! I'm pushing through and trying to make this book the best thing I've ever published! I have really high hopes for it, and I hope y'all will appreciate the lengths I'm going to to bring you this story in an interesting way!

Speaking of interesting ways... I'm fucking around with the formatting while I'm not writing and my god... I cannot wait... Let's just say that The Death I Gave Him and Mister Magic have a heavy hand in what Desecrate will look like...

Now, let's move on to what y'all are actually here for! The snippies ↓

I've actually been struggling to write recently, so what you're about to see is some very very rough draft stuff:

Kit doesn’t grace them with an answer, but it turns out he doesn’t have to as his eyes slide between the two and lands on a face he hadn’t expected to see coming up behind them. A saving grace of sorts, if Kit were one to believe in such a notion. Kit smirks, a change that doesn’t go unnoticed by the oafs in front of him. Matt goes to open his mouth and spew some more vitriol but end sup cut off by a gruff voice. “I believe I told y’all he uses he/him pronouns now.” There in all his glory stands the one person that made this town worth it for Kit growing up. A beautiful specimen of a man, standing tall behind the creeps he used to associate with in tattered and oil stained jeans and a ratty t-shirt. “I’m sorry these two numb nuts are botherin’ ya,” he ways, looking down at Kit with a look much softer than he thinks he deserves. “They told me you were back in town and I didn’t believe them so we decided to swing by.” “I don’t mind,” Kit says. He would never mind Jay stopping by. He could do without the others, though. Something he tells the man, “Next time leave the dead weight at home though.” “Dead weight?” Zach exclaims, clearly offended despite the fact that Kit hasn’t payed a lick of attention to him since Jay showed up.

and maybe one for the road:

He sits criss-cross applesauce on the metal counter near Benny’s large bow of dough, motioning her to return to her work. She raises an eyebrow at him, still waiting for him to talk to her but not wanting to push him again. As soon as her rolling pin touches dough, Kit begins speaking. “I’ve been having weird dreams again.” Kit’s voice is barely a whisper in the warm air of the kitchen, he toys with the paper of the notebook in his hands. He can see when the words register with Benny, her eyebrows furrowing and her mouth pursing when she turns to face him. “Don’t look at me like that, you know just as well as I do that my night terrors will never go away. But this isn’t that. Well, one of them was, two nights ago. But that’s besides the point.”

actually that's a lie i want to feel the Benny lovers out there:

He finds Benny in the kitchen, grumbling to herself as she rolls out dough on the large island counter. Her back is to the entrance, and Kit uses that the sneak up on her. He sets his bag down as quietly as he can, then tiptoes up behind Benny, bending down slightly to wrap his arms around her short frame. Benny freezes, then elbows him hard in the side and turning herself around with the rolling pin raised as a weapon. “Kit! What the fuck!” Kit chuckles, the sound coming out as more of a wheeze after receiving an elbow to the gut. “Sorry, babe.” Benny puts a hand over her heart, playing up how labored her breathing is with a smile on her lips. Kit straightens himself again, wrapping his arms around her head and shoulder and kissing the top of her head. “I couldn’t resist sneaking up on ya.” “You, sir,” she says, her voice muffled in Kit’s chest, “are a menace.”

anyways that's all for this week! Tune in next week to see if I actually write anything new

TAGLIST

@lockejhaven @mr-writes @eleanordaze @flowerprose

@starlitpage @dogmomwrites @annetilney @ceph-the-ghost-writer

@inkspellangel @outpost51 @love-whatit-loves @bebewrites

@indecentpause @lavender-gloom

Please fill out this form to be added or ask to be removed!

[imposterzoe]

Hello, for the "make me write" I would love 🌃 and honestly those two needed more friends so don't apologize if it goes more platonic! I am sure that it will be absolutely lovely! If you don't feel like doing that one 🤝 would also be interesting! XD But only If you still feel like doing this!! Thank you

Ok let's try this again (finished the ask and tumblr ate it for whatever reason lol). We shall see where I end up with the fic but hope you like what I have so far!!

When he woke up to Zahir crying, it was different.

Maybe if they were still in Em City, it would've been more similar but Oz was still being decontaminated and they were crammed into Lardner. Gone were the stone walls and glass. In its place were steel bars, thin plaster, and neighbors that had no problem announcing which “Oz Bitch” had cracked last night.

Zahir was on his side, face crammed into the pillow. It muffled the sound of his whimper and it's a wonder Tobias heard it at all. But heard it he did and honestly it left him stunned.

It was the first noise Zahir had made since they'd been assigned together.

Kareem's death had left him quiet but the excommunication had rendered him mute.

Tobias had given up on trying to fill the silence a few days ago. Zahir would let him go on before glaring when he hit some unknown threshold. Lately that threshold seemed to get lower and lower until he was constantly looking up to see irritation.

“Do you want me to stop?” he'd asked.

Zahir nodded emphatically.

“Ok.”

And just a little of 🤝 because why not?

He raised a hand and started walking forward. “I've known you a long time. Heard a lot of your ideas and seen more than enough of them blow up in your face. But it doesn't stop you. You just pick yourself up and dive headfirst into the next thing.”

They're close now. Not so close that someone would get the wrong idea if they walked in but close enough that he can smell Tim's cologne. It was only now that he realized what he always liked about it. It was very similar to his wife's perfume. And after months of not smelling either, it was driving him a little nuts.

“I admire that about you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It makes you a pain in the ass but you fighting helps me keep track of what needs to be done around here. I need that. I've been missing that.” He reached out and pretended to pick fuzz from Tim's shoulder. “Been missing you.”

[nutluvs]

HI NUT ILY

1, 12, & 19 for the ask game!!!!

LUUUUUUU ILY!!!!!!!!!! 1: song of the year? for me, this would be seven by taylor swift from folklore! (though for spotify wrapped, it's dies irae. um) 12: talk about a new friend you made this year gladly! i'm going to talk about two because i have to i just have to. they both matter to me an equal amount, so i had to mention both of them :) 1) in late august of this year, i had posted something on an oc. i think it was a fujimi post. a certain someone commented on it, telling me they thought she was cool or something—not sure exactly what they said, i don't remember—and we were very quick to become friends after that! ever since then i think we've literally talked every single day. we talk all the time about so many things, we have similar views, similar interests, and those interests we aren't so similar in, we share with each other. it's so, so, so fun, and i wouldn't have in any other way, ever. they've told me countless times that i've helped them come out of their shell, and that they've become more comfortable with things they enjoy and talking about them because of me, and this makes me unbelievably happy. i love to know how i've helped my dearest friends. they have helped me through all of my problems and are so gentle with me throughout my negative emotions and struggles, and they deserve everything in my eyes. @popcorn-milk - i love you. you are so important to me, i could never imagine not being your friend. thank you so much for even considering talking to me in the first place. i don't know where i'd be if i hadn't met you, probably at some super low point. thank you for all of the times you've helped me with my self esteem, my problems that i'm too nervous to elaborate on, for everything. you're such an amazing person, and sometimes i feel like i don't deserve you. you're so amazing, i'll always remember you. again, i love you. 2) in late march of this year, i... honestly don't remember what i was doing. that was a while ago. i was a whole different person. pretty judgmental over stupid things, unaware, among other things. this has changed now, but it wouldn't have happened without this friend. we share a few interests, mainly the red dead redemption games, communicating over our characters we created for it very frequently. but that's not as important as the fact that he's informed me on many a thing, given me advice and whatnot; telling me about different ways to view things (if you'll put it like that?) and been pretty straightforward and honest about it, which helped me realize a bit easier. no sugarcoating, which would've had me twist the interpretations up a little and not see things from a different perspective. he's helped me through rough patches despite having significantly more important things to do and more important people to talk to. i will always appreciate him for that. sometimes i just don't know how to phrase my thoughts and thank him, i'll try that now. @fadingkittenx - i see you as an older brother. i care about you a lot. you've taught me so much and helped me with a lot of things and through hard times, and i still have things to learn. but even if i'm not fully knowledgeable on certain things you've told me about, you've still helped me a ton. i'm so grateful to have met you, you're such a cool person and you're so creative. i'll be forever indebted to you for how much you've helped me with. you'll always be special to me, thank you for being my friend. ---- I CARE ABOUT YOU BOTH SO MUCH!! :(( sorry i wrote sooo much i get carried away when being sappy about people i care about,,, 19: what are you excited for next year? i'm really excited to go down to kentucky and help my dad's friend with foaling her broodmares! this is so important to me, because i want to become an equine veterinarian, and this gives me some good experience! and i love horses. so. i'm really excited! i'm so lucky and grateful that i get this experience :)