#like it doesn't matter when I get broken down

[sorin-sunchild]

Transphobes do very much want trans men dead though. This is still very much a thing they want. Trans men are in fact murdered by transphobes. See, your average queerphobe either wants us to never, ever, come out of the closet or to just be dead. We are not people to these bigots. We are problems which need to be gotten rid of, and very few have the imagination to think of 'fixing' us when killing us or otherwise preventing us from being is much easier. If they do extend their vision to 'fixing us' be it for gender or sexuality, it's very often violent and can/does still lead to death in many cases.

It's not about 'which kind of trans person they think is more dangerous' you get real for a second. Bigotry does not work like that. They're not tier-listing the different genders and targetting us one by one. We're all dangers to them. They don't like the fake rules they set up around sex/gender being broken. They will use any angle they've got to convince more people that whatever they do to oppress us is a good thing because we're all dangerous.

The detransitioning angle for example. It's insincere (insofar as they don't actually care about us and want to 'help' us even in a misguided way) and never represented correctly in these silly discourses. They don't want to specifically detransition trans men only due to viewing us as somehow more special, more pure, more worthy of being alive or something.

They'd happily detransition ALL trans people (why do you think trans women in prisons and other institutions are regularly denied HRT? this is an attempt to detransition them!) if they could. Misogyny just makes 'precious little girls mutilating themselves when they just need help' and/or 'misled Autistic (code for 'stupid' to them) girls being convinced because of Patriarchy that they have to be men' (really gets the radfems) the easiest and most effective angle to take against trans men/mascs and AFAB transneu and nonbinary people.

But you see all trans men reach a threshold in which we're not precious ickle girls any more, in which we too are just predatory wannabe women-men convincing other little girls to multilate themselves (by virture of openly existing) as well as trying to turn straight girls into lesbians but also trying to turn gay men into straight men. We reach that threshold when we get to a stage in our transition where they see us as lost causes (i.e. can no longer be controlled and convinced to detransition and haven't been murdered yet), just another kind of inherently predatory gender freak.

As for the drag ban which yes, did disproportionately effect trans women/femmes as well as cis drag queens, this was done for much the same reason. Many people believe that men are inherently sexual predators, and any behaviour that they can paint as 'deviant' or 'weird' is therefore easily seen to support this idea. Transphobes pick the angles that work but they hate us all equally.

Neither the young trans man nor the young trans woman being sent to conversion therapy is worse or better off than the other - it really doesn't matter the specific reasons and fears the transphobes who sent them there have.

We're all corrupted forms of our assigned gender to these people. If we can't be 'convinced' to 'stop all this nonsense' or 'corrected' into 'accepting the truth' then we are part of the problem, we're predators, we're cult members spreading dangerous 'gender ideology', each targetting a specific sex of child (because 'think of the children' logical falacy is so popular with transphobes) and we're all better off dead to them.

So yeah, I really don't know where anyone got the idea that transphobes don't want to and don't kill trans men. They don't treat different kinds of trans people that differently. They very much do murder trans men and a great many of us get written down as murdered women and buried as such which might be why you hear about it a lot less. It is very much happening though.

"Trans men aren't targeted by anti trans rhetoric and law."

Trumps executive order to ban gender affirming care mainly fearmongers about trans boys not being able to give birth or breast feed and calls transitional surgery "female genital mutilation".

When we say we are invisible, it's not that we are invisible to the people who hate us. It's that our struggles are invisible to the people who should be advocating for us.

[3liza]

in the same way that I think the "people shouldn't cheat on coursework with AI because they will be bad at their jobs" argument is invalidated by the "if coursework is possible or necessary to cheat with AI it's not an effective indicator of expertise or teaching methods in the first place" retort, it is also true that "the economy is good actually it doesn't matter that there are more homeless people every year and no one you know can afford to have children or eat at restaurants anymore" argument is nonsense against the assertion that "if your definition of 'the economy' excludes the subjective financial realities of the majority of the country it doesn't actually describe The Economy and you should call what you're talking about something else"

constructing an actually informative model of consumer prices, cost of living, debt and buying power is simultaneously extremely complex in the granular sense (TVs cost less now than in 1990 because TVs are now subsidized by selling consumer data and serving ads, for example) and extremely simple (are you able to pay for a better life now than in 1990). the simple view is something like, are you happier now than you were in 2010. is doing things, in general, easier or harder. can you afford to buy things you need, or are you having to put up with broken things instead of fixing or replacing them. the average guy on the street has his own personal understanding of line go up or down, which is why vibes based polling should be taken extremely seriously in economics discussions.

economics discussions about "the economy" are currently stuck in the same place 20th medicine got stuck in, describing an objective underlying illness that's disconnected from the subjective experience of the patient, even though the patient themselves will tell you, and it should be obvious btw, that whether they have pain or find things harder to do or will die sooner is actually the only thing that matters.

i am absolutely not interested in hearing arguments about why the economy actually rocks now and Gen Z is rich when we have unambiguous numbers about homelessness increasing sharply every single year. you pay for housing and all the things that you need in order to get and keep housing with your own personal access to resources. access to those resources has decreased for almost everyone. therefore the economy, the shared delusion we all have to participate in to survive and operate in extractive capitalism, is bad. any other definition of "the economy" is irrelevant in the context of discussing the national and international Normal Guy.

i simply don't care about anything else. i don't own property. i don't even own any money, I'm just a hole that money passes through on its way to debt and expenses. 71% of Americans are living this way according to Forbes as of 2024.

[freeluigihesbae]

𝓫𝓾𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓻 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼 - 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 5

(1,200 words)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

summary:

luigi fell in love with you for those sparkling eyes where his dreams of falling in love first came true. but how did it happen?

𝗍𝗐: 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍

~

"Hey, watch your step." You're walking, sniffling as you drag your barely wrapped homecoming dress in the store's bag, before you find yourself stumbling. The rain is pouring down, making your clothes feel heavier as you're still walking and outside for god knows how long. Your ankle folds outward because of the raised sidewalk, prompting a foreign hand to grab your shoulder.

You turn around, reeling yourself in before you look into a new set of eyes. They look familiar, but you just can't seem to place them. Hazel and almond-shaped eyes consume your thoughts. Your eyes go wide.

"Andrew. Jesus-" You mutter before placing your hand to your forehead, blinking slowly as your temperature is concerningly high. Andrew immediately steps forward, grabbing both shoulders before bending his head down.

"I'm really concerned about you. I tried to reach out to you about our class project since morning and I didn't hear an answ-HEY!" He yells, catching you in his arms as you pant. This is not going the way you want it to. You groan in discomfort, grabbing Andrew's shoulder for support.

"I really hate to do this, but does it matter to you if I carry you? Your cast isn't making this any better?" He's bending his knees, cautious to keep you barely upright without touching in places he shouldn't afraid of taking the step. You nearly roll your eyes in annoyance whilst wanting to break down and sob.

"Need to get rid of this stupid dress." You whisper in a broken voice and Andrew nods, but doesn't change his position. "Can I-" "Yes, Andrew. Or let me go. Drop me like every- everyone in my life has been doing so far." Your words have a harsh bite to them but he pays no heed, only nodding his head in haste as he picks you up bridal style, heaving the soaked dress over his shoulder. You wrap your hands around his neck and bury your face into his shoulder, utterly ruined and feeling feverish.

Andrew looks down at you, gulping. He didn't think you were in such a bad state, but now its his job to take care of you.

"Dress." You let tears escape from your eyes and to your dismay, Andrew doesn't listen.

"You're more important than the dress. You're burning up. I'm taking you back to your apartment." He smiles a bit when he watches you head tip back in frustration. You give an unpleasant expression before letting your head fall forward, letting the small jumps that come with every step lull the discomfort away.

The rain is still pouring, but it's not so bad with Andrew carrying you as his head is now taking most of the droplets with the exception of a few streams of water falling onto your poorly made jacket.

You both walk through the treacherous for who-knows-how-long before he's stopping in front of your door, the familiar lack of paint and rattling door-knob piquing your interest as you try to pay attention.

"Where are we?" You shake your head as the details of your own apartment seem vaguely reminiscent of a place you think you live in.

"How long were you out in the rain?" Andrew is now looking at down at you and for the first time, you look directly into his eyes and gasp.

It shouldn't be Andrew holding you, it should be Luigi.

Suddenly, the memories of what happened come crashing down like the already pouring rain tries to flood your vision and judgement, making your breathing pick up. You help yourself onto the ground, stumbling and taking a few steps back before using the door to keep yourself up.

"Hey stop-" "No, no I-I-I-" You stumble over your words, trying to put distance between the two of you.

"What are you doing?" A new voice makes both of your heads turn and to your absolute horror, there he is. The man of your dreams and the root of your problems.

Luigi Mangione.

Of course, he isn't empty-handed. He's soaked, drenched in the rain, holding a bouquet of flowers and a neatly folded and closed up bag, tissue paper that once had structure now ripping from the weight of the water. You realize he's likely witnessed the entire thing and the thought itself makes you nearly pass out because it's getting across the wrong idea.

Andrew stands frozen, realizing something is going on and before he knows it, he's trying to get away from the situation.

"Just um-" Andrew starts speaking and Luigi takes a step closer, not interrupting.

"Take care." Andrew looks into your eyes before glancing and Luigi and scurrying away, giving a short glance back and making his way back.

You're still stuck in the corner, replaying every single moment that has happened so far and realizing this might screw your day even worse.

Your legs are shaking though, weak from pain and against your will, you slide down the wall, whimpering from helplessness as pain shoots through your broken leg.

You realize you forgot your meds for the day.

You hear a crunching of paper and a drop of something, as hands come around to hug you but as though it's instinct, you push Luigi away.

"D-Don't touch me." You sigh out but his hands don't move, making you push him. "Fuckin' worming your way back in after insulting me like this shit isn't happening to both of us." You laugh breathlessly, feeling shaky hands retracting from your frame. Despite your wishes, his body is still close.

"I-I'm sorry that's why I came over and then I saw that guy holding you and I thought you lost everything and forgot what we h-" "Really?" You tilt your head up to look at Luigi, crying as the words start flooding into your thoughts and within seconds, you're sending them flying into his face.

"W-What?" Luigi asks and you answer.

"Must feel like shit when someone you l-care about pushes you away." You laugh sardonically, swallowing the cold droplets the slip past your lips while watching Luigi eat away at himself.

"Some stupid fuckin' crush and it hasn't even been a week but I-I'm in so much pain and you push me away like I'm not going through stuff too. You think this is easy for me? You think I'm wanting this right now? Because I'll tell you right now, it's not. I'm not sure a degree at Penn would help you understand-" You cough before saying the last of your words and standing up to unlock your door.

"I just don't want to talk to you. I don't want your flowers. I don't want-" You hesitate, ready to say the word 'you' but stopping because that could shatter his heart. It could break the fibers of who he is and you know you're both stupid.

Why make this worse?

You swallow hard, turning your back to him and opening the door.

"I need to be alone. Alone like you left me earlier." You cock your head to the side before walking inside and slamming the door closed, quietly sobbing before regretting it all, the pain worsening as you think about his likely crestfallen expression.

~

if you want to join the taglist, please comment on my PINNED blog post!

taglist: @madkohi @iinfinitelimits-blog-blog @nosebeers @lorelaisg1lmore @poohkie90 @chariytz @alotofsomething

~

author's note: i'm sorry this chapter is so short. i had to write some angst because i'm not feeling well so this was a quick way to cope. this will be a lil longer than expected but enjoy!

[devixxish]

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x gn! Reader

Word Count: 644

Tags: angst, hurt/no comfort, already existing problems in the relationship, reader doesn't hate the ex, they just hurt,, nothing heavy tbh

A/N: (honestly, idk what this is) I wrote this with Gojo in my mind, but you can imagine anyone tbh, nothing is specified. Uhh take this as you will :D Aight, enjoy ♡

The rain hadn't stopped all night. It hit the windshield in heavy drops, blurring the passing city lights into colorful streaks. You sat in the passenger's seat, legs curled up, fingers lazily tracing invisible shapes on the fogged-up glass of the window. He drove with one hand on the wheel, the other idly drumming against the gear shift, music playing low through the speakers.

Neither of you said much. You never really did on nights like this.

You turned your head, your gaze landing on him; watching him in the dim glow of the dashboard. He looked tired- he always did. Eyes fixed on the road, lips pressed together and jaw tight like he was chewing on something he couldn't quite voice. You knew that look all too well. You always knew. It always came when he was thinking about him.

It had been long. How long exactly, you couldn't be sure. Maybe too long. Too long since you had comforted him through the worst of it, since you had picked up his pieces, since you had crossed the line from friends to.. whatever this was. Too long since you had last told yourself it didn't matter, that the past was the past. But the past always had a way of lingering, heavy, unrelenting. And no matter how often or how hard he tried, you could feel it; you weren't the only one lingering. And, perhaps, he knew it too.

"I think about him sometimes," you suddenly spoke up, voice quiet, almost drowned out by the angry thuds of the rain.

His grip on the wheel tightened. "What?"

It took a moment for you to answer. "I see him. In my head.", you clarified, head now turned to the other side as you traced a raindrop down the window. "Like he's still here."

You didn't have to explain further. He knew exactly what you meant.

A deep breath, then a soft sigh. "He's not."

You almost hated how broken he sounded when he said that. Almost.

"Do you see him, though?", you pressed, voice timid as you turned again to face him. "When you look at me, do you ever wish it was him?"

The pause was just a second too long.

The light ahead turned red, and he slowed the car to a stop. The rain only got worse, hammering against the roof of the car, filling the silence he wouldn't.

The air between you had thickened with unspoken truths and unshed tears. You wanted to ask more- Did he love you better? Did he know you more? Am I just a replacement of what you lost? -but you feared you already knew the answers to each and everyone of those questions. And you weren't so sure you would be able to handle hearing the words from his mouth.

You looked down at your hands on your lap, curling and flexing your fingers as if you could shake the feeling away that way.

"Forget it. It doesn't matter," you muttered, reaching for the door handle. You wanted to get out of there. You needed to get away.

But his hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your wrist. Warm and steady against your cold skin.

"Don't.", he said, voice low, tired. "Don't do that."

You exhaled shakily through your nose, eyes glued down on where his fingers pressed into your skin.

"Then tell me," you whispered, voice equally as broken and tired as his own, as you lifted your gaze to meet his. "Tell me I'm not a replacement. Tell me I'm not here just 'cause you miss what you lost."

The light turned green. He didn't move. Didn't let go. Didn't speak.

Outside, life kept going. Cars sped past, people hurried under their umbrellas and life kept moving forward like nothing had changed.

But in the small space of that car, everything had.

Devixxish© All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload or modify my work in any way.

[ilikelookingatthings]

ahhhhhh! That last panel just wrecked me. Ford's going to feel the guilt with his whole ass chest. The TEARS. The more safe stan feels the more on edge he will feel thinking it will break because his trust was broken before...when he never thought his dad would kick him out or that ford would close the curtain...he has worried abd been nervious but deep down he had trusted them.

Even if he felt like ge messed up and hurt fird with the project and feels guilt over it...I like how Stan knows its unfair he feels like he is waiting for the next shoe to drop...like he will always be making it up to ford chz ge won't know if he is fully forgiven...abd even then what about the next mistake he makes?

I like how ford is worried and alarmed because stan can be good at hiding how affected he is....just damn....ford trying to sooth stan but a bkt slow to it cuz Stan isn't fully listening due to the panic abd due to ford's surprise since Ford feels guilt about ruining stan's life iver a mistake and he's surprised stan still feels like he ruined ford's life even as stan is trying to get across his own hurt.

Just for Stan to admit ge'd rather Ford throws him out now before he starts feeling safe or has hope because stsn KNOWS how much it hurts. To have the rug yanked out from under you. Stan wants to feel safe in the unconditional security that Ford loves him and won't just lock him out or give up on him or throw him away....but that's hard when Ford doesn't tell him enough and when Stan himself still feels like he has to earn his place and his trust had been broken before. Heck stsn probably feels like he hasn't even proven his dad wrong yet or earned millions which was the random goal post filbrick threw at him for tan to come back.

Something exaggerated that Filbrick said in the heat of the moment of stubborn anger that Ford hadn't disputed. And stan was called a burden or leech to Ford....so as much as Stan wants to be happy being around Ford and helping.....last time he thoight he could exist with Ford was the boat dream....I wonder if that's why just helping around the house doesn't put Stan at ease. Cuz Stan doesn't know if he WASNT useful that Ford would want him to stick around anyway. Just AHHHHH the TEARS! I feel like Ford's face feels like it doesn't quite match that Ford was listening and getting more distressed seeing Stan lose it in the panel before the tears but it doesn't matter when the panel of Stan crying will haunt my and ford's angst dreams!

*bats eyes at you* OwO

[leashybebes]

fic: blue and gold (14/28)

today's @bucktommyfluffebruary prompt, fittingly, is valentine's day. my fill is here

not me getting my valentine's is a scam agenda all over a fluff prompt. come back, come back, i promise it's still sweet! there's even a hint of spice at the end. tumblr version below.

At the other end of the couch, Tommy looks comfortable in Buck's space, relaxed in a way Buck's only now realizing was unfamiliar to him on their first go around. He doesn't want to rock the boat, but a question has been gnawing at him. He snags the remote and pauses the documentary that's playing on the TV, causing Tommy to look at him questioningly.

"What do you think of Valentine's day?" Buck asks.

Tommy frowns. "I think February was months ago."

When we were still broken up, he doesn't say, and Buck feels fond. They've talked it out so thoroughly, but he knows Tommy still feels bad about it, no matter how many times Buck promises him he doesn't have to.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he says. "I mean, the concept."

"Oh, the concept," Tommy says with a grin. "I don't know. What do you think of it?"

"Uh-uh, no uno-reverso, I asked first."

"I thought you said mutual self-disclosure was key."

Buck rolls his eyes, climbing into Tommy's lap and kissing him. Tommy's hands settle onto his waist, his eyes darkening. Never let it be said Buck doesn't know how to get what he wants from his man.

"I did say that. I also…" He pauses to drop another kiss onto Tommy's mouth, quick and brief as a blink. "...asked first."

"Okay, okay," Tommy says, his fingers curling into Buck's shirt. He pauses, considering. "The rom-com fan in me wants to like it."

"But…?"

Tommy slumps a little so they fit closer together, fiddles with the seam of Buck's sleeve.

"My dad got my mom flowers every Valentine's."

"Ah," Buck says.

"Mm-hm. Every anniversary, too. He was an asshole the rest of the year, but it's like he checked that box in his mind. 'I have done my relationship duty according to the Hallmark overlords'."

Buck scratches his fingers through the short hairs at Tommy's nape. "You love Hallmark."

"I do," Tommy admits easily. "But it's not real life. I always used to tell myself…" He trails off and tugs on one of Buck's belt loops.

"What?"

"That if I found someone to love, I'd love them all year round. Treat them right all year round."

"You do," Buck says, leaning down to kiss Tommy again, firmer this time, lingering. "You're so good to me."

Buck feels Tommy melt, tastes the sigh that escapes him.

"Yeah?" Tommy asks, like he's checking. "I'm - I'm good for you?"

Buck's ears perk up at the tone and he gives a gentle tug where he still has his hand in Tommy's hair. Sure enough, the sound Tommy makes is almost a groan this time.

"So good. Do you - " Buck swallows, presses a kiss to Tommy's cheek. They've played around with this dynamic a little more since they got back together, but it still makes Buck's head spin. "Do you want me to show you how good you are for me?"

Tommy nods, firm, breathless, and Buck grins, pulling him in for another kiss.

[foggieststars]

what's the sitch with girl!george and alex in the virgin osc verse rn (idk if that's what we're calling it haha)- like is george just suffering through alex having a gf, is she involved with someone else..... i loved her in the girl!charles fic and must know more !!!

hi baby... people think girl oscar needs to be protected. girl george needs SO MUCH LOVE AND CARE !!!! im glad u like her too :) i'm planning a third instalment of the series with girl george and alex figuring their shit out - here's a little snippet <3

-

George is nearly asleep when her phone starts to ring. She gropes for it blindly, knocking her book off her bedside table in the process. 

Alex and her mum are the only ones allowed to bypass her do not disturb settings, and her money’s on the former. But still, even he knows not to ring her past ten, unless it’s a genuine emergency. 

“Alex?” she says, pressing the phone against her ear and slumping back down into bed. “You okay? ‘S late.” 

“I know, Georgie,” Alex says, his voice soft. “I’m sorry. Can I - are you back yet?” 

“Yeah,” George yawns, rolling over into the middle of her bed. “Got back a few hours ago.” After a gruelling few weeks spent in Brackley, pretending to be interested in whatever Toto’s child bride has to say, she’s exhausted down to her very bones. 

“Can I come over?” Alex asks. George tenses. Alex knows she doesn’t like having plans sprung on her. “Lily and I broke up,” he says, and something explodes in George’s chest. 

"Oh," George says stupidly. "Yeah - fuck, Alex, I'm sorry. Of course you can come over."

"That's good," Alex says. "Because I'm already in the lobby. I'll be up in two."

With that, Alex hangs up.

Oh, fucking hell. George jumps out of bed, previous exhaustion forgotten, examines the state of her room with a critical eye. Her belongings are scattered everywhere, a jumble of chargers on her bookshelf, laundry basket overflowing with dirty clothes.

She's usually extremely diligent about unpacking promptly once she gets home, but she'd just been so tired. Listening to everybody fawn over Kimi for two weeks had taken so much out of her, keeping a polite smile on her face at all times and never letting a hint of the disdain she feels show.

She shoves as much stuff as she can fit under her bed. She'll deal with it in the morning.

Then she catches a glimpse of her own reflection in the mirror, and nearly screams. Her hair's a tangled mess, there are actual craters under her eyes, and she hadn't bothered to remove her mascara before slumping into bed so she looks like a raccoon.

It's just Alex, George tells herself as she yanks a brush through her hair. What are you getting all in a tizzy for?

But George knows why, with every thump of her traitorous heart. The heart that beats only for one person, and has since she was fourteen, and Alex had begged off kissing her in a game of spin the bottle at a race.

She's like my sister, he'd protested, and George had felt it like a blow to the gut, and since that moment she's been lost.

There's a knock at her door and George's heart leaps in her chest, thump thump thump.

George scowls at herself in the mirror. Just because Alex and Lily have broken up doesn't mean anything. George hadn't mattered the last time Alex was single - not like that, anyways - and she won't matter now. Don't be so naive, she reminds herself, and goes to answer the door with a heavy heart.

[conjuredwritings]

rz michael myers x afab reader | 18+

cws : unprotected shower sex, implied consent, rough sex, choking, a little dabble of blood play, michael manhandles reader

a/n : this is my first time writing in years so! any constructive criticism is appreciated and requests are open. i am long due for some practice. enjoy babes! xoxo

if someone asked you to describe your relationship with michael myers, you simply couldn't. were you an obsession? a girlfriend? a quick fuck? there wasn't exactly a concise title for being the girl the haddonfield killer was banging. the two of you had been living together for a little over a year now. but that hardly gave the label of a relationship. michael only lingered around the house when he wanted something. sometimes it was food or rest, and other times it was to pummel you into the mattress. you had to admit, you'd gotten good at removing blood stains from your sheets. he always seemed to want a quick way to get off after a kill.

most people would call you insane. you knew that. but most people hadn't seen the different sides of michael the way you had. you'd grown up with him, being his only friend throughout his short time in town. you'd seen the bruises his father would leave and heard the way judith would mock him. to say you could justify his actions made you no better than him. but could something so wrong feel so good?

you deeply inhale, the warm steam from the shower filling your lungs. it had already been a long enough day and the pressing matter of where you stood with michael certainly was contributing to it. popping open the bottle of your favorite body wash, you begin lathering it across your bare skin. you knew he would be home soon. likely fresh from another kill and wanting another way to ride out his blood fueled high. the second the thought crosses your mind a loud bang suddenly erupts through the air. you silently roll your eyes, hoping he at least had the curtesy to shut the front door after barreling through it. you continue washing yourself as the obnoxiously loud footsteps make their way up the stairs. within a matter of seconds they go quiet. the hair on the back of your neck raises. although michael had never hurt you, the raw power he held always kept a lingering fear in the back of your mind.

it was intoxicating.

there's a beat of silence and then a sudden crack. it takes you a second to realize he had kicked the door in. leaving a broken pile of splintered wood and hinges in its place. sure enough, all six feet and nine inches of pure muscle and bloodlust stands in the door way. his chest contracts with every heavy breath, gaze locked onto your body. there's a faint shine in the light across his navy blue attire, leaving you to guess its blood. something about the idea of that leaves a shiver down your spine despite the warm water pouring upon you. it was sick and twisted, but oh so hot.

"michael are you fucking serious? you know i have to pay for that shit, you could use the handle like a human being," you grumble, turning away from him. you knew exactly what he wanted but you weren't going to feed into his almost child like tantrums. you hear his heavy footsteps approach the side of the tub, surely to peer into the flimsy fabric of the shower curtain.

"you're not-" your voice immediately cuts off as a large hand wraps around the entirety of your throat. a small gurgle surfaces to your lips in its place as your hands instinctively go to claw at his. he doesn't cease his grasp until you're turned to look at him, wide eyed and gasping for air. without giving you much of a moment to recover, michael yanks the curtain aside, nearly ripping it from it's hooks to allow him to get in the shower with you. you want to complain about him being in there with his dirty clothes still on but he doesn't give you the chance.

one hand spins you towards the shower wall, holding you by the nape of your wet hair. the other hand hoists your hips up, and your ass towards him. you've seen him desperate before, but never like this. there was something almost animalistic about his want for you tonight. a small squeak leaves your lips as you feel his leg jut between your thighs, keeping your legs spread apart. you could only imagine the kind of lewd position you were in for him. completely bare and exposed to his eager gaze. the now soaked fabric of his coveralls rubs against your bare skin has he leans into you. the distinct metallic scent of blood clouds the shower as it washes out of the fabric.

a rough, calloused hand reaches up to paw at your chest. you bite your lip to stifle the growing moans threatening to escape. michael seems to take note of this and with unexpected tenderness, twirls his thumb over your nipple. he always liked it when you made noise. whether it be groans or pleads or screams. as long as he knew he was doing something to you. a moan finally forces its way past your lips causing him to press harder into you. you could feel his growing erection rubbing into your core through the wet fabric. to the best of your ability, you grind back onto him, moving your ass up and down along the hard bump. his deep breaths hitch, a clear tell that you were pleasing him in one way or another.

his free hand comes down to leave a sharp smack on your ass. the water causing it to sting more than usual. you let out a whine at the sudden burst of pain. "please michael, i want you so bad," you plead with him. his willpower must be weak tonight because that's all it takes for him to quickly undo his overalls and free himself. the fabric stays draped over most of his body, only a distinct path down the zipper left exposed. and at the bottom of that path is his cock pressed between your thighs. from this position, he sways his hips into you, running his shaft across your folds. a series of almost pornographic sounds leave your body as you practically weep for him to fuck you.

one moment you're begging to be filled with him and within an instant a sudden pressure lodges itself between your legs. a gasp shakes through you as you adjust to his large girth. michael takes no time in allowing you to get comfortable as he slams his hips into you. droplets of water spray into the air where your bodies collide. his large hands dig into your hips, holding you in place as he pounds into you. your eyebrows furrow together, eyes looking to the sky as if some sort of salvation might save you from the sins you so dearly enjoy. you hated how much you loved this. being fucked like his whore. but the way his cock filled your pussy had to be the closest you've ever come to heaven.

his hand originally teasing your breasts slides down against your slick skin to find your clit. a loud moan rips through your chest as he rolls the pad of his middle finger against the sensitive bundle of nerves there. he knew just how to undo you so perfectly. your hips buck against his touch as you feel the familiar knot coiling in your abdomen. "please please don't stop i'm so close," you gasp between moans and cries for release. as he rams into faster from behind his own release dawns upon him at those words. a stifled grunt echoes from behind the mask concealing his face. michael sloppily thrusts into you as his climax peaks, filling you with his cum. he loved how well you would take him every time. "mm baby you make me feel so so good," you groan. the shower had gone cold, the only warmth being his hot seed trailing down your inner thighs. that feeling alone triggers your own release, your walls pulsating around his member, still tucked away inside of you.

michael gives you a shallow thrust, fucking the remainder of your mixed fluids back into you. your thighs shake at the motion, clearly overused by this point. but was he going to stop there? the sudden hand around your throat told you the answer.

[iguessitsjustme]

When It Rains It Pours Ep 6 Thoughts

I have had an incredibly weird day. But the good news is that I can finally watch this episode which will most likely shatter my heart to pieces. BUT it's the first week that I'm watching with everyone else then we all get to spend a week thinking about it and talking about it together. What a wonderful little community this show has here on tumblr (you all have been so nice and so smart and so willing to scream with others and you are all the best forever no matter what anyone else says). I wasn't sure I was gonna continue my liveblog, but here I am. Continuing it. Under the cut:

SEI IS BUYING THE COFFEE. I REPEAT SEI IS BUYING THE COFFEE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I have run out of words. Please tell me someone else has talked about this…I'm not even 5 seconds into the show yet god damn I should control myself.

BUT THEN HE COULDN'T PAY? OH SWEET JESUS. There is meaning here. (sirens hurry the fuck up and drive by I am trying to watch a masterpiece)

Baby boy the feelings are reciprocated. He will save you if you let him. And you can save him in turn.

This. Bastard. Is trying to move Sei away. To alienate him further. He doesn't want Sei to have anyone in his life except him. If he hadn't answered that phone call, he wouldn't be considering moving.

Anger.

Anger and hatred and violence.

His job is literally the only place he ever sees people! He doesn't even really interact with them! But he at least has a place where should he need to talk to someone outside of Fujisawa, there are people there. Not just Kazuaki. But other coworkers. Who based on what we've seen, are all friendly and kind enough. And now Fujiisawa is trying to remove the ONE place Sei has that he does not have access to. I am screaming and crying and gonna jump into this show to knee this man in the groin.

The fact that Sei is listening to rain sounds means that Kazuaki remembered and sent him the link to listen to rain sounds when he wanted. It means that Kazuaki remembered. Thought of him and their conversation. Even before they knew about the emails. He remembered.

You ask like you have a right to know.

He doesn't ask like a friend who's curious and cares about his friend being happy and meeting someone. He asks like he is entitled to that information.

Sei's entire confession is so matter of fact. He doesn't sound remorseful or like he's been caught cheating. He just openly admits to it. Because he knows he likes Kazuaki. Or do we as a fandom call him Hagiwara? I'm not sure on that I just went by what the gaga summary called him for an episode. Please let me know. Anyway. Sei said he started catching feelings.

HE THREW THE PHONE I KILL HIM

GET OFF OF HIM I KILL YOU

SHOOTING LASERS AT HIM

SHOOTING MORE LASERS

Look how red Fujisawa's face is. This is some brilliant lighting work. He is literally red like the devil. Dressed in all black. Pinning Sei down as Sei claws for freedom.

GET OFF OF HIM I WILL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF

Get em baby. Tell him he is the least desirable man on earth.

The purposeful dissonance in the soundtrack right now is truly amazing. (Now I just need these fucking sirens to GO AWAY)

Okay. So I know there's a line to push Fujisawa off a cliff, but what if before anyone pushes him, I go to the bottom and I add some fun little spikes. Just as a treat. For us.

Oh so he just apologizes? I'm gonna stab you with broken glass.

It will take me a minute before I'm able to analyze anything because I am so livid. (I also am angry from something specific at work today so I was already primed for anger and then this fucker)

Hissing

He couldn't if he wanted to. He is a good person. And you are in a bad situation. The second he learns how bad it is, he is never gonna ignore you until he knows you are safe. Until he knows you are free.

HE SEES THE BRUISE. HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS.

Omg I'm gonna cry. The music here. The music. The everything.

No baby boy don't walk away!

What in the homophobia…

If you liked him you would have talked to him. Communicated. If you liked him, you would have set him free. You don't like him. You like the idea of him. And I hope you never find anyone else to trap and make miserable the way you trapped him.

GET HER. READ HER ASS.

Now that Kaori is finally talking to Kazuaki, the framing is different. Before, there was a booth creating a physical barrier between them. Now there is nothing. They are sitting at the same table. Open. Communication. This should have happened SO MUCH EARLIER. Girl. I hate you.

The thing that pisses me off the most about Kaori is that her feelings and her relationship towards sex are completely valid. And she has every right to feel the way she feels. But she never once said anything. She never once told her partner how she was feeling. Even though she knew she was hurting him. She knew he was miserable. But instead of talking to him, she let him suffer. Because she liked him. And she knew an outcome of that talk could have led to them breaking up. And she was so incredibly selfish to never let that happen. She would rather he be miserable and hers than be happy and be free. And that I cannot forgive her for.

And she makes him do the dirty work of breaking up with her. Because she never could do the right thing. Honestly, I think even if she hadn't found out, it would not be long before he broke up with her anyway. He found his happiness elsewhere and he would not be able to live with himself knowing he cheated and knowing he was in love with someone else. Anyway. She should have at least had the decency to be the one to end things because she was not capable of doing it when she should have. AN ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR AGO.

There is something to this show being sandwiched by those two getting coffee. One who wasn't able to get it and one who was kept waiting but did get it eventually.

Also our baby boy is free now! No matter what else happened. He is no longer trapped. He can and will find his happiness. Now he just needs to save Sei.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO PREVIEW. IS THERE NO PREVIEW? HELP????

I will probably need to sit with this episode for at least a day to process it before the thoughts come flooding out.

I have hatred in my heart.

[kizuovarius]

Obey Me! But you're breaking up with them

My friend wanted to know what I thought, so I decided to write this. :]

Lucifer- It hurts his ego, but it hurts his heart worse, especially if you've been together long/ it's his fault. To make things worse, he drowns himself in work and doesn't smile as often. It only gets worse when you're in the human realm.

Mammon- At first he acts like it doesn't bother him, maybe he even seems glad, but when you fully move on, he'll beg you to come back and be a crying mess. If anyone else is the reason you left, he'll go as far as to fight them head on. If it was his fault, he drowns himself in more debt until he realizes material value doesn't compare to love, and that he misses your touch.

Levi- He instantly starts self deprecating and saying he knew this would happen, that he's just a horrible Otaku unworthy of love. He won't come out of his room anymore, and will not trust anyone else easily again. There will be at very least a solid month or two after that he doesn't come out of his room, even for the bathroom. He has a stock of food, and uses it.

Satan- This depends. If it was an argument that led to the breakup, he thinks back and dwells on it. If it was violence that pushed you away (especially out of fear), he will probably break down alone in his room, making sure no one sees. The anger turns to sadness and sorrow, even going as far as to turn to Edgar Allen Poe and questioning his existence. Not even pranking Lucifer could make him happy. He misses you endlessly, and writes love letters.

Asmo- Contrary to some belief, Asmo is still attached to all his old lovers unless they have wronged him. But, this is different, this is **you**. So, he starts to get a little cranky, and restless at night. Not sleeping because he can't cuddle you leads to a break out on his skin, which leads to him being even more upset. He buys bottles of your perfume/cologne/shampoo to get your scent again.

Beel- Beel doesn't know why you've broken up with him, and tries to get you food to say sorry. If you refuse, it will be the first time in a very long time that he couldn't finish the food for you. Probably the only time he won't be able to fix his feelings by a distraction. Every time he goes to places you visit, he misses you and thinks to call, before second guessing and talking to Belphie instead.

Belphie- When you tell him he's half asleep, but then looks shocked and sits up pretty quick. He'll ask why and then try to come up with a solution, only to eventually be left. This gets worse when he remembers you're Lilith's descendent, and he knows Lilith left him, too. Talking to Beel is out of the question, he doesn't want to bring his brother down with him no matter how much Beel worries. In doing so, he chooses to sleep it all off. In his dreams, you're still with him.

That's all I got, lmao. Have a good one!

[samhadjblog2]

The reason why I think people don't talk about Viktor, Jayce's and Mel's stories is that there very half-baked narratives that just are flung around by the narrative. However even with that in mind I feel like there is still some important things that you didn't look into

For instance when Viktor came of the cocoon, and saw that Jayce used the core to save him as well as seeing that Jayce was making Hex-tech weapons again. He knew that they were going on different paths in life now, and that whatever Jayce was a part of he didn't want to be a part of it. Its meant to be a similar scene to how Jinx accepted her new found identity, and cut ties with Vi.

As for Jayce its a similar thing to how Vi accepted that Powder was now Jinx.

And in all truth I think his healing powers were kind of interesting.

However I won't deny that a vast majority of his story is rushed. Because essentially what happened was that Viktor for saw the events of Jayce shooting him the chest, and accepted that this was going to happen. And seeing how Jayce actions led to him to do this he came to realize that no matter what choice we make it will always lead to violence. Which leads to him believing that free-will only causes problems and sought to get rid of all free-will. And what he is about to accomplish this Ekko "breaks the cycle". Which allows Jayce to finally reach out to Viktor. (Look I know it was dumb for Jayce to go and shoot VIktor and not explain that he met his future self. I'm just explaining what the story was trying to do with Viktor in the later half of S2.

And yeah I'm not going to lie the whole "Viktor is the mage all along" (While as some people have pointed out that there were many parallels to Viktor and the wizard stretching all the way back to S1. Which I find somewhat interesting). Isn't that great of a twist and just creates a lot more confusing implications on the series as a whole. And its left me so exhausted.

As for Mel its another "I like the general idea, of what its trying to do but don't like how its executed". Because generally speaking the whole deal of her story this season is her coming to recognize that being a manipulator alone isn't going to get her far in the world. Which comes to ahead when she is captured by the black rose who trap her in a prison where she forced not escape via underhand manipulation but by brute strength. The real problem with this arc is that it just boils down to her being trapped in a dark room until she awakens her powers. Which isn't compelling story telling.

And as for Jayce, this one is also a tough one to talk about because so much of his story like Mel and Viktor is reliant on him being sidelined for most of the season. However the whole deal of episode 7 has him see the dark future of "The glorious evolution" and how a world without conflict is a wasteland. And he go's on an arc that is jump started by his hammer "A Symbol of his ego and narrow minded pursuit of being a hero" crippling him. And so has to climb up and make his way through Zaun in a similar manner to how Viktor had to climb up the social ladder in Piltover. And here he was able to see how the hard-ships we face make life worth living. And here were shown how he regrets building Hex-tech (Something I have a lot of issues with) when he confronts future Viktor. And as for him "killing Viktor" its clear when he shot him in the commune he was very much conflicted in his thoughts. And this go's back to the main issue of this season his arc is just reduced to just "An episode". Which is all just cheap. As for his statement of saying "Viktor was never broken" its less of "Hey dude you shouldn't try to get rid of your cancer" and more like "You were never lesser for any of these things". And to me this story fumbles a lot because at the end of S1 Viktor already accepted that he can't cheat death and made peace with it. So having Jayce tell him "You don't need to change who you are" feel awkward it also doesn't help that "He's the one that pushed Viktor into becoming the Herald".

One thing I can fundamentally agree with you on is that so much of the characters were pushed by the story. Compared to how S1 had the characters make there own choices.

How s2 betrayed Viktor, Mel and Jayce by making them passive characters

I had initially started to write a long post about the reason I didn't like Viktor, Mel and Jayce in s2, but I figured it would be better to just get to the point, which is : they do not work in s2 because they have become passive characters.

See Viktor : in s1, he is a determined inventor, has a strong will (manifested by his presence at the Academy, his desire to help Jayce, to break into Heimerdinger's office despite the risk, his refusal to be limited by his body, etc.) and a strong intellect, which is used to reach his personal objectives. He has strong opinions about his environment, about his work, and he has his own personality. He is shown taking action (ex : trying to cure his leg). His tragedy is that his health will not let him accomplish all that he is capable of. He is an active character : his desires, his skills, his choices move the plot forward.

But then in s2 : he gets fused with the hexcore while he's unconscious. He's magically cured. He isn't a scientist anymore. His relationship with Jayce isn't important anymore. He has a few lines before more or less disappearing from the story until the finale.

And before continuing : that scene where Viktor gets out of the arcane cocoon and talks to Jayce was the one that convinced me that s2 had given up on itself. Has anyone else realized how devoid of tension, of meaning, of scenaristic conflict it is ? It is not very long, but each line is like a wet fuse. They don't talk about the fact that Jayce made weapons out of the Hextech. They don't talk about the fact that Jayce betrayed Viktor by not only not destroying the Hexcore, but also using it to save him. They don't talk about Sky's death, they don't talk about the radical changes Viktor made to his body using the Arcane and shimmer, about the extremes he could have reached. They don't talk about the attack on the Council and how it ruined their efforts, how they were so close to making a great leap forward in realising their dream (I cannot believe that this major plot point, the cliffhanger of s1, the tragedy of the Council being attacked while voting freedom for Zaun, is not addressed by the two people who should feel particularly concerned about it. How are they not horrified by it ? How come it had so little impact on them they don't even mention it ? How come Viktor doesn't bring it up with Jinx ?).  

Each conflictual plot point, which should have been used to create tension and make the story interesting, was very carefully ignored. When Viktor walks away, Jayce doesn't even try to talk to him, or express any real sadness. This scene is just Viktor going "bye" and Jayce going "kay" (before he is whisked away by the scenario but we'll get back to this later).

Anyway, it doesn't get better for Viktor in the story. Somehow he gets magical healing powers, which is lazy writing. He does nothing when Jayce is clearly hostile, he lets him destroy the commune. Then he suddenly wants to turn everyone into puppets for one episode, before Jayce comes back in the story with a grand declaration, and then he changes his mind again because the show needs him to. All of this is passive : he is no longer a fully-fledged character but an OOC doll that the writers string along and put in a drawer when they don't know what to do with him.

And don't get me started on the "Viktor was the mage" revelation, which is the final nail in the coffin. In short, saving Jayce from jumping, inventing Hextech, their projects, their dream, their bond, all of that loses impact because it was not even their own decision. The main interest of Jayce and Viktor's arc is that they met each other by chance, decided to embark on a seemingly unfeasable project (carried only by their determination, their belief in each other, and their talent), tried to change the world for the better, and failed to protect their creation from the corruption of the real world. If it was all written in the stars, if it happens in other dimensions, then it loses most of its interest. If it isn't really their choice, it has no meaning anymore. It makes them passive pawns in their own story.

The same analyse can be done for Mel and Jayce :

Mel in s1 is a smart politician, strategic, cunning and manipulative at times. She is a nuanced active character, one who wishes to avoid violence and does not take pleasure in suffering, but who also places her own interests first and is not that concerned with the common good (as a council member and the richest person in Piltover, she is also guilty of abandoning the Undercity by her inaction.) Then her mother arrives and adds another nuance to her already moraly-grey character : we understand Mel's upbringing, her exile and her desire to not follow her mother's footsteps. She has difficult choices to make : should she prioritise Piltover over Zaun ? Piltover over Noxus ? Is it being a pacifist to refuse that weapons be made out of Hextech, or is it dangerous and naive to pretend your enemies won't use it ?

But then s2 happens, and you can scratch all of that. Writing political conflict is too complicated, let's just get her kidnapped instead (passive), put her in a magical cell for most of the show, and watch all this meaningless Blackrose subplot unfold (who cares about her father ? Neither her supposed nor her real father appear in the story, and Ambessa clearly is the Noxus leader, so what does her being an illegitimate child change ? Nothing. Also, lineage is a passive character trait). Now Mel has magical powers, without having done anything to acquire them. She gets out of the cell not because of her intellect, or because she cracks a code, or because she accomplishes any action, but simply  because she magically knows the solution (passive). And then, the resolution of her conflict with her mother ? A most unsatisfying magic fight. That's it. She didn't even struggle to master her powers. Just like Viktor, she didn't accomplish anything as a true character : she was just put to the side until the writers needed her.

And the exact same happens to Jayce :

Most of Jayce's characteristics from s1 are basically erased. He barely appears in the first episodes, then disappears in the wild runes for most of the series, and comes back towards the end, and suddenly he's on a rampage. His character arc is completely forgotten : remember when Jayce was slowly getting corrupted by power, popularity, politics ? Remember when he was an idealist getting dragged into choosing sides in a violent conflict ? An inventor who broke his own vow, made a weapon out of his own invention (against his partner's will), hated it so much he campaigned for Zaun's independance, only for a rocket to explode in the council room at the critical moment ? What does Jayce think about all this ? Well Jayce doesn't think at all in s2.

When he comes back in the third act (and no character cared about his disappearance, much like the writers didn't care about him), all of his previous dilemmas are erased (because that was easier than writing a satisfactory conclusion) and he has no problem using violence, killing people, and even killing Viktor while he is defenceless. We never get to see any psychological nuance for him : (barely) no regrets for inventing the Hextech and summoning the wild runes, no regrets when deciding that the commune must die, no regrets when hunting Viktor (serioulsy, he should NEVER have accepted to kill Viktor so easily). He gets out of the wild rune and suddenly he's the Terminator.

Until the last ten minutes of the show when he joins Viktor in the Arcane and now he's love incarnate. Then the writers desecrate his corpse one last time by making him spew the strangest lines at Viktor (he was dying, Jayce ! Remember s1 Jayce who was desperate to find a way to save his partner ?).

Again, Jayce did not do anything as an active character : he became a puppet who only moved when the scenario needed him to.

I'd continue with Ekko and Heimerdinger, but you see the point.

The scenario of a series such as Arcane is supposed to be moved forward by active characters making decisions, thus creating and resolving conflict. In s2, the scenario decides what it wants, then twists the characters to bring them where it wants, regardless of coherence or good writing. And even if Viktor, Jayce and Mel had been better written, they had so little screen time, the writers cared so little about them that their stories could not be anything but a disappointment.

[myheartxmyman]

Sometimes loving you feels like living in the past.

Or like being in love with a ghost.

You look the same, but you aren't. It's just a shell.

Still I hold on, I can't let go.

Even on the days when I look at you and I see a familiar stranger.

Holding on gets harder and harder.

Looking at the face of the man I love and asking myself 'who are you', wondering if I'll ever feel connected and at ease, secure with you, safe to trust you without hesitation or second thoughts, it diminishes my hopes of finding back to 'my man'

[mechahero]

//Typical online monster interaction.

[ink-man-sam]

Does my driving instructor want to give me burn out and depression? Because it sure feels like he's trying to give me burn out and depression

Not only did he make me cry in my last driving lesson, he also told me to take four or five mock exams every day and to not even attempt the actual exam until I pass 10 out of 10

I mean, I get it, I failed my exam three times but that's because I'm STRUGGLING

[babyblankyerror]

YESS!!!!! YES!!

I imagine most times Stan pushes Ford away (like in your fic *smirks*) but there are times where he clings to his brother like a lifeline. He'll be confused nad disoriented, maybe reliving one of his worst moments and he freaks when there's a hand reaching for him-

The hand has sic fingers. He holds onto it like he's lost at sea and that's what's keeping him afloat. Ford pulls him in for a grounding hug and Stan just grips the heck out of his shirt, full force because what if his brother leaves again? What if he's alone again? What if he's thrown away again?

It doesn't matter if Ford asks if he wants to talk about it because even if he did (which now a day's he finds himself wanting to) he CAN'T. All that comes out are repeated nonsense like a kid throwing some stupid tantrum-

"I wanna go home" and Ford says "Stanley, you are home" all perplexed and confused and heart broken but Ford doesn't get it.

Then, he says it enough times and he repeats it because that's all he really knows what to do. He is too stupid to even form full sentences apart from that it seems and, finally, Ford says

"I know"

It's quiet and hopeless but understanding. It doesn't push away the feeling he's so desperately confessing, it just embraces it. It embraces all his broken and sharp bits, smoothing it down and Stanley just keeps going

"I wanna go home"

"I know.."

"I wanna go home"

"I know.."

Stanley's echolalia gets worse during breakdowns- the phrases he will often repeat are:

"No more" or "I'm sorry" or "I wanna go home" (with Ford he will often say "it was an accident")

When Stanford first catches this, he's overwhelmed by the apologies and despite telling his brother that he IS home, Stanley doesn't stop.

[7nuh]

WAS IT 'CASUAL' WHEN...? — TWST 1ST YEARS

Headcanons on the 'casual' things you do with him that made him wish that there was something more between you.

CW 𓂃 sfw, gn!reader, reader is implied to fit in Deuce's clothes in his part, pining

CHARAS 𓂃 Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier, and Sebek Zigvolt

AN 𓂃 mostly* edited now 😎👍

ACE TRAPPOLA — you slept in the same bed?

Ramshackle isn't exactly known for having the best facilities or furniture, and that is a fact Ace has to make peace with whenever he gets kicked out by Riddle. It's always a little too chilly at night and the floors still creak beneath his feet. Even with a makeover, half of the beds are broken and that stiff couch downstairs is your next best bet at getting some semblance of sleep.

You insisted you really didn't mind sharing a bed at all and Ace took you up on your offer. In his words, "if you say so then!" Just create an invisible partition down the middle and the two of you should be fine. Sure, yeah, that'll be infinitely more comfortable than the couch, and Ace absolutely agrees. He repeats the thought to himself over and over again— this is supposedly the better alternative, isn't it?

Yeah, totally. He tries to convince himself that it's really not a big deal for him to be inches away from you at night and feel your warmth spreading through the sheets. God, you'd think he's a weirdo if you woke up and caught him staring right now, but he could always twist it into a dumb joke about your sleeping face looking like an ogre. Consequently, he would have to watch your face twist in annoyance and pretend he wasn't watching every rise and fall of your chest. He would rather lose his magic entirely than admit the ugly truth and make himself vulnerable to you.

Ace does realize he's being embarrassingly sappy and romantic, and he's disgusted at himself for these thoughts, but he can't help it. He can't change the fact your lips look so soft and your eyelashes are so pretty. This is freaking him out so much more than it should. Does this really mean nothing to you? Do really only see him as a friend? Fine, then the two of you are just friends sharing a bed then!

It's really nothing! Ace was the one who joked about it months ago, after all. But things (and his feelings) have changed and he cannot ignore that. Back then it wouldn't have been such a big deal, but now it is and he cannot calm his heart down no matter how hard he tries.

You're right there. It's not the first time he had to share a bed with someone but it's different now because it's you. He did the math and the two of you are only 10 inches apart. Ace almost reaches for you in his weakest moment until he remembers that the two of you are supposedly just two friends sharing a bed. You're doing him a favor by sheltering him for the night, that's all.

Ace retracts his hand right away at the very last second. He might have as well taken the goddamn couch (lest either of you wake up in each other's arms).

DEUCE SPADE — he lent his clothes?

You came here with next to nothing. You had exactly one change of clothes and pocket lint for change, so Deuce, being the righteous and honorable student that he is, decided to lend you some of his clothes for the meantime. It's what a good friend would do! It's a temporary arrangement that would last only until Crowley spares enough change for you to buy another set of uniforms.

But this arrangement drags on for so long even when you have a functional closet and multiple sets of better-fitting clothes. Deuce never really noticed until recently that a third of your (albeit very limited) wardrobe actually belongs to him. But whenever you tug on his sleeves for his latest sweater, he doesn't have the heart to tell you no.

When he went home during break, his mom even noticed that certain sweaters and shirts had gone missing. "I left them at the college," he tells her as to not worry her. It's technically the truth— it's back with you in the college (and you're probably wearing them right now; the mental image is enough to fluster him all of the sudden when it never did before). He has to get them back eventually since those clothes are his. He's sure you wouldn't mind? Right?

Simply asking for them back is the difficult part for Deuce. You're there in front of him wearing one of his older shirts that fit snugly around your figure and he's at a loss for words. It's worn down and outright hideous as hell but the very first thought that comes to mind is that you look good in it.

Ah, yeah. You walk around campus on non-school days wearing his clothes 1/3rd of the time and nobody else knows that those jackets and shirts and sweaters and button-ups are all his. You make even the ugliest ones look good, or maybe it's because you're the wearer and you always looked good to him? Do his eyes need to be checked...? Deuce is tortured by these thoughts while merrily go about your day. You're laughing at something stupid that Grim said and he can't hear anything else. There's a fight in the courtyard but he can't see anything else. There's a midterm tomorrow but he can't think of anything else. You're too distracting.

When you finally do remember to return a shirt or two, Deuce tells you there's really no need to return them. He insists that they're better off with you, but you laugh and remind him that you're no longer the same pathetic charity case you were at the start of the year.

The truth is, your scent still lingers on recently returned shirts. It's the closest he'll get to being skin-to-skin with you, and Deuce is supposed to ignore that but he cannot. Or maybe he's the only one making this weird for the two of you because it doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest (and he's bothered by that).

But when Deuce looks at the recently returned shirts in his hands, he hopes he has a chance. He hopes you think of him as much as he thinks of you. He hopes the odds of him not actually liking you after all make your guts churn and set butterflies in your chest at the same time. He hopes he isn't the only one yearning for used shirts, lingering scents, and ghost touches. But at the same time, you've only ever asked these kinds of favors from him... Deuce doesn't want to assume anything, but a blush creeps upon his cheeks all the same and he continues to hope for more.

JACK HOWL — you played with his ears and tail?

Beastmen weren't a thing back in your world, so seeing them regularly made you morbidly curious about their animalistic features. Jack was easily the best candidate to satisfy your intrusive thoughts because just who else could you ask about this? Leona wasn't exactly an option and Ruggie might rope you into some scheme of his. And Jack owed you a favor, after all, so this is what you decided to ask of him.

Jack's ears twitched— did he hear you correctly? His face scrunches up in confusion because you barely knew each other for you to be asking something like this. How could you ask something so personal from him? It's in your innocently eager expression that he realizes what's going on... you just didn't know. Fine, it should mean nothing to you and thus he agrees to let you pet his tail and ears for five seconds. Maximum.

It's supposed to be a one time thing but he finds him involuntarily offering up his tail whenever you look him like that. He's not even sure how it got to this point. After all, there are romantic connotations of having your tail petted by someone else and... nevermind. Ruggie and Leona have started simultaneously teasing him over it the very moment they caught wind of this peculiar arrangement. It doesn't help that Jack's tail is particularly sensitive and reactive, but he keeps a straight face no matter how much it embarrasses him.

Jack doesn't understand why you're so fascinated by his tail and ears because there are so many others just like him. However, he supposes it's not an entirely terrible feeling, though, to have your fingers absentmindedly rake across his tail and hair as the two of you study. It's relaxing, even, but he won't tell you that. Jack will never tell you that it gives him goosebumps all over and makes him shiver whenever you play with his tail. Or that he's begun wondering what it would be like to have your hands elsewhere, or for him to touch you in similar ways in return.

He doesn't understand why he craves your company but doesn't question it either. All he knows is that your hands are so soft and gentle and that he likes the way the corner of your eyes crinkle when you smile in satisfaction. And when you hum a soft tune as the gap between the two of you closes, he wonders if he's the only one feeling this tension.

"Again?" Jack huffs. The pretext of this being a silly favor has been long forgotten. He should probably tell you soon that you shouldn't be doing this, but you just look so pleased with yourself when the two of settle down in a lesser-known corner of the library. The routine persists, the cycle continues. Hours later, the both of you have gone through multiple bags of chips, two movies on his laptop, and his tail is now comfortably curled around your abdomen as you read a book and he tends to his beloved cactus.

Again? Jack silently asks himself whenever he sees your face in a crowd. Could the two of you spend hours in a comfortable silence while the unsaid implications haunt him? He's started to ask himself— were you just playing dumb at this point or just plain stupid? Or what if you had known all along and the two of you were just dancing around it?

EPEL FELMIER — you kissed him?

Epel eventually learns to use the way others perceive him to his advantage; there's strength in appearing to be weak and striking when the iron is hot. Still, he couldn't help but wish to be seen for his talents and strength instead of his beauty at the first glance. The first assumption everyone makes of him, for god's sake, is that he's a fragile little thing from a rich family, and, quite frankly, he's sick of it.

So he's secretly delighted when none of his charms worked on you and you yank him by the ear for even attempting. A few curse words and rough shoves later, both of you are on the floor, grappling and wrestling against each other. The two of you are laughing so hard and swearing so loudly that you'll probably wake up the rest of Pomefiore at this rate, but neither of you care. It's just the two of you right now grasping at each other like your life depended on it.

It's a nice change of pace to be openly exchanging insults instead of restraining himself. He enjoys the comfortable rhythm the two of you share— from all the brawls and the bantering and the hugs and to the kisses on the cheek. Yes, kisses. They started as simple thank you's after a few favors here and there, and just one of them is enough to make a mess out of Epel for weeks. Better yet, you only seem to be showering him with more and more of your attention and he relishes in it.

Ah, things are finally working out for him! He found someone he could confide in and he's sure that there's a spark between the two of you. By the end of the year, he might have someone to bring home and brag about to his relatives—

All the momentum halts when he sees you across the hall granting the rest of your friends the same levels of affection. From all the brawls to the bantering to the hugs and the kisses, none of those were ever solely his to take delight upon. It doesn't matter that he opened up to you about all his fears and insecurities because he was never special. You were just the kind of person who got along and felt comfortable with everyone around you, but Epel hates that he has no one to blame but himself. He willingly walked your warmth but it was never his to take.

It finally dawns upon him that you have never seen him in a romantic light and that was why you were so comfortable around him. In retrospect, the bond you two shared was more sibling-like than anything— and believe him when he says he's incredibly grateful that the two of you were that close —but it doesn't make it hurt any less to know that your affections never carried any romantic intentions after he had pinned for you for so long.

Even when he takes a step back, you're cruel in a roundabout way by continuing to be so kind and loving towards him. How was Epel supposed to make sense of your relationship after realizing he misunderstood you...?

And he also hates to admit this, but his self-confidence takes a huge blow from this. Epel genuinely thought he could be loved for who he was based on the time you spent together. It gnaws at him and eats him alive to finally know the truth, and sometimes he wishes he never found out at all.

SEBEK ZIGVOLT — you wrote him love letters?

So, Sebek asked (demanded) to be penpals...

It's all because Lilia told him it would be a good exercise of diplomacy, he insisted. As the young master's bodyguard, he will have to be as courteous as possible even in unpleasant company. He also rationalized, admittedly partly because of you, that forging bonds with magicless humans may be a worthwhile endeavor after all! It's all rather suspicious (and you suspect his real intentions have something to do with your friendship with Malleus), but Sebek has never been one to lie about his intentions. If anything, the popular opinion was that he's a little too honest and should learn a thing or two about holding back.

There's something very unconventional in sending handwritten letters in this day and age of modern technology, but also something very romantic and fantastical— much like the many fictional knights he had read about. It helps a lot that he's not directly confronted by the fact you are very much a magicless human who shouldn't be in NRC whenever he spills out his heart's contents unto multiple pages. It was a way for him to release his frustrations, celebrate his achievements, and talk about the dull, little things thats happened in his day-to-day life to someone who listened.

And listen you did. Turns out, when you're not subjected to his 1000 decibel shouting, Sebek is a rather earnest guy who worked hard and acknowledged others who also worked equally as hard no matter their disposition. To say the least, you understand why Lilia found it so entertaining to tease him.

It completely flies over his head that you had been flirting with him for months through these letters. Your everyday interactions with each other had been completely normal, so how was he supposed to notice?! It takes multiple rereads and many late-night discussions with the other Diasomnia dormers to decode and understand all the double entendres and hidden 'i love you's' in each and every letter. It was so needlessly difficult, but Lilia laughs in his face and pats him at the back for a job well-done.

"There's no way," he thinks to himself late at night and finds himself doubting Lilia's claims for once. But when Sebek steals a glance in your direction and you smile back in return, he's never felt weaker in his knees. You're absolutely and undeniably magic-less... but somehow you had casted a spell that made his chest tighten and shut him up. He hadn't even realized how much time he was spending with you and thinking about you when he wasn't.

Except nothing has changed in-person. You're acting like you hadn't meticulously hidden your affections for him in those letters, and he was starting to seriously doubt all of it. Yeah, were you event smart enough to pull off all that? As some magic-less human?

Actually... Sebek realizes that you are capable of outsmarting him after getting to know you much better through those letters. He's never been one to deny where credit it was due. Now, Sebek's just deeply ashamed that he failed to accurately assess your character before making judgements based on superficial traits. He knows better than anyone that you're witty, charming, brave, kind, beautiful, ambitious—

Oh no.

Oh no.

Sebek simply explodes on the spot once he realizes that he had been oblivious to his own feelings for you too. He had thoroughly examined every aspect of this conundrum except from within. Quite embarrassing from an esteemed knight of the prince of nocturnal fae to be this slow, really.