#like instead of showing each other they are like nah fuck off ill take a picture of said ghost/alien myself and later show u

[gummybearzone]

ok but what if instead of having to get his balls back they had to get her tits back...

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for getting angry at the love of my life for bringing me back from the dead?

So I (32M) had a pretty traumatic childhood. My parents and my little sister were killed in front of me through a misunderstanding when I was just 15. Basically they thought my dad was in some shady shit and instead of waiting for a trial or something, they just killed him. Don't worry, when they figured it out I was allowed to extract my own justice. This didn't scar me at all. I'm fine. ANYWAY, fast forward and I'm the all-in-one tutor to the crown princess (12F) and in a weird sexual tension thing with her loyal Knight body guard (35M). Don't tell anyone but I've been in love with him for ages, and though I always knew that he wouldn't love me back bc of his knightly vows of celibacy, I didn't mind. After all the Princess' well being comes first. Well, some crap happened and it turns out!! That 1) he doesn't have a vow of celibacy and was just rebuffing my flirting bc he thought I was just joking around; 2) now we're on the run with a bunch of other folks after a violent overthrow of the kingdom; 3) have been having some comfort sex after an ill advised drunken night; and; 4) thru the process of all this shit going on, Mr Knight has been falling in love with me, too. But he never told me! Genuinely thought he was in it for the amazing comfort sex as we grapple with being displaced and hunted!

Anyway, thru a series of unfortunate events I fucking died. And it was... really nice. Sure I was panicked at first because oh my god the Princess! Mr Knight! Our friends! are they ok? But then I opened my eyes and my family was there and I felt peace for the first time. Truly, the feeling of Home was so lost to me for years that to feel it again this time was so so good. I didn't want to leave.

Except I had too bc Mr Knight shows up and drags me kicking and screaming back up topside because apparently our lil group didn't want me to die and now I'm... this. A Dead Thing. Aside from losing my family again for the second fucking time, I can't FEEL anything!! Pain or pleasure! or remorse or joy or happiness. It's like everything is behind glass when they had all been just in my hands before. The only thing I can rightfully access atm is my anger. And it's far more explosive and far more damaging than it had ever been in life. Just the other day I beat a guy's face in with just my bare fists for trying to kill the Princess. I can still feel his blood on my hands. Under my fingernails. We went to a famous necromancer to figure it out and all he could say is that I Came Back Wrong.

And to top it all off, Mr Knight over here is suddenly spouting platitudes! Like! "I couldn't endure a world without you" and "I love you, I wish I told you sooner, realized it even earlier" and "When all this is said and done, let's away, you and I and finally have peace" and yeah, it's all admittedly very sweet, sure, but all I feel is angry and betrayed! He took my family from me a second time! He threw away his most powerful spell that we'd promised each other we'd use on our Princess (who we BOTH think of as a daughter)!! And to top it all off!! He's asking me constantly what it is he did wrong and if I could ever forgive him! Well, I don't think I can! It has our little group very divided now. Some think I have the right to be this angry, but others think I'm being a little unfair taking it all out on him when it was the whole group's decision to bring me back. Are they right? Am I being the asshole?

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Changes

Words: 4030

Summary: Steve Harrington has always dreamt about running away from Hawkins and his parents. Ever sense he could form his own thoughts, he has always wanted to travel the world in a beat up van with those he loved. Yet obvious circumstances stop him from leaving. Instead of being on a beach somewhere he is stuck in Hawkins, Indiana waiting for the world to end at any time. He loves all of his friends, but he has been missing a piece of himself for a long time. After taking the first steps of self discovery and putting down the crown, he realizes that he’s barely touched the surface of who Steve Harrington really is. Even if it means running away from home last minute, taking chances and using the flimsy excuse of a family emergency to get away from his friends for a while, he’s willing to do what it takes to make himself feel whole again. Make those thoughts finally disappear and maybe be more then what others has set his image to be.

Part : 1/?

Ao3 link

Note: I have the next few chapters planned out, but I don’t think this will be a terribly long fic. Five chapters is most likely max. But who knows I might like writing this so much that I add a few more. I just didn’t want to rush the process and not have Steve returning to Hawkins different hit the way I wanted it 😭

Steve runs a hand through his hair, water droplets falling down his forehead and down his nose. Watching each one move down his freckles through the reflection of the mirror. It wasn't uncommon for Steve to sleep in, honestly it was very common for him to sleep until nine am at the latest. Lately though, his body has been craving for a lot more sleep then what he can offer it. Flapping his hands a bit, spraying water around the small little bathroom of the diner moves himself out of the cramped space. Giving a tight smile to a older male that pushes his way through before he's heading back to his table. Moving, wiping his hands off his pants a little, fidgeting a bit before he plops himself into his designated spot next to Robin. Who was currently rambling about something, hands flying in the air as she leaned forward at the table in a chaotic manner. Matching Eddie, who was nearly standing on the opposite side of the booth from excitement. Steve isn't sure what part of the conversation he catches them in as his brain goes foggy again. The splash of cold water not grounding him into reality like normal. The feeling was annoying, and instead of catching either of his friends attentions he moves to start eating his food. Zoned out a bit as he planned out his day in a way that he could get a nap in. Maybe he was coming down with something?

For the last couple of months? Yeah no fucking way dude. There was something wrong with him and he wasn't sure what. Though he was physically good in health, maybe cutting back the amount of time going to gym was making him feel so ill. But that also didn't make any sense, he still felt the same icky feeling going to the gym, one of the reasons why he stopped going more then twice a week. He's chewing carefully on a strawberry when Robin playfully shoved him with a soft smile. Not showing concern, but looking curiously at him. Steve furrows his eyebrows as he swallows the fruit in his mouth. Letting a soft hum out, "Hm?" Licking his lips shortly after as he turns his head to glance over at Eddie who's properly kneeling on the booth seat, head cocked to the side a little bit. Trying to read him almost.

"Do you want the rest of my pancakes?" She asks gently. A common ritual between the two friends. Her eyes would be bigger then her stomach which left Steve swooping in and finishing what was left. He needed the calories anyway, constantly burning a decent amount on his morning jogs and in the gym. Though with the cut back of exercise he wasn't feeling all that hungry. That was the excuse he came up with as he shakes his head no, carefully licking some whip cream off from the top of his mouth.

"Nah, I'm find Robs." He responds with a hum. Watching the way she stops mid movement, holding the plate in her hand as if she was already on her way in moving it to put on Steve's. He chuckles gently, raising his eyebrow at how awkward she looks. Startled as well as she jokingly moves a hand forward and touches Steve's forward with the back of her palm.

"You feeling okay Dingus?" She asks softly. Not holding the plate for much longer as Eddie moves quickly scooping it from her hand. She doesn't bother looking over at the table, where Eddie was currently shoveling the food in as if he hadn't eaten a hamburger, a full plate of fries, and a strawberry milkshake with chocolate syrup mixed in a little bit. Steve had thought once the other wasn't on the run any more he would stop shoveling food into his face so fast that he nearly hit some of his fingers off. That, did not seem to be the case.

"Yeah, just started cutting back on how much I go to the gym." He admits, "so I'm not as hungry." He says softly. Watching Robin relax, the softness in her eyes grounding him better then the water in the bathroom. Her eyes crinkling a bit as she playfully pokes him lightly in the stomach.

"See, I told you so. Lady's dig the dad bods dude." She teases playfully. Causing Steve to laugh gently, shaking his head amused as Eddie starts to choke on a piece of fruit. Coughing a bit as he pulls back from hovering over the plate, any closer and his nose would have been touching the glass.

The day goes the same, for the most part. Steve drives to his shift at Family Video, sharing it with Robin like normal. Watches the neighborhood kids come in and leave after inspecting the shelf that held a , "new movies" sign above it with a life sized cut out of David Hasselhoff leaning against kit the talking car. It was a couple of years old, but it worked fine with getting the younger boys excited about the car. More desirable then having to move a life sized cut out of a girl in a bikini away from a drooler. He's fiddling a random rhythm on the counter as he tries figuring out what he has to do. Feeling a tad forgetful lately he frowns as he moves crouching down as he picks up a lollipop stick off the rug. Probably Robins wrong doing, scrunching his nose from disgust as he moves it likes it's the plague, to a trash can. Hearing the bell of the front door going off, following along with a very pissed off Dustin. Steve's lost as he swings himself over with the rolling chair.

"This is such bullshit Steve!"  Spit goes flying everywhere as Dustin has no control over his lisp. Voice Loud enough that it echos through the store catching Robins attention. Who had been opening new boxes of tapes. Behind Dustin is Max who looks agitated, Will Byers who looks confused and wants nothing to do with this conflict along with Mike Wheeler who's face is a light pink and looks like he's done something. What, Steve isn't sure. If they didn't all look like they were in one of the most serious situations in their life's Steve may have snorted and cracked a small comment to Dustin about "saying it not spraying it."  However the saying went.

"What is Henderson?" Steve asks slowly. Furrowing his eyebrows tiredly as he tries to catch onto what the other was talking about. He hadn't forgotten anything had he. But even if he had Dustin would not be this pissed. Mistakes happened, and most times Dustin made sure to ride his bike everywhere.

"You're parents!" Dustin spits out again. Steve's lost again, he hasn't heard anything from his Mother and Father in a couple of weeks. Doing god knows what in god knows where.

"What about my parents?" He asks confused. Moving his arms a bit as he looks concerned as well.

"Hellfire Club, or any club that doesn't fit a Christian like bubble can not and will not be allowed at Hawkins high because someone's parents refuse to donate money to the school if it's not a preppy Christian love nest!" Dustin says upset. And oh, that makes sense.

"But- I thought hellfire was banned already?" He asks confused.

"It was! But you don't understand, the only clubs that are allowed are all sport oriented." Dustin snaps.

"Ok—" Steve drawls out. "You can't create you're own—" before he can finish Dustin's snapping again.

"This is bullshit! Of course you would side with your parents, and here I thought you were on my side!" Dustin in clearly upset as he slams his hand on the counter. Normally Steve would be able to handle a out break like this, he understood he used to be a moody teenage boy himself. For the most part Dustin wasn't all the angry. He stands up startled, eyes glancing over at Max who says softly. Almost as if she was shy, moving her body around as she keeps her arms crossed around her self.

"They cut robotics club-" and oh. That made sense why Dustin was so pissed. He had been so close to creating a device where no matter how far away you were, it would use some form of connection to connect to another device. The purpose was to be able to tap on it, like Morse code almost. Which he somehow knew, along with his girlfriend Susie who would definitely appreciate the more private way of communicating instead of having a sibling eavesdropping. Though knowing this Steve was also a bit upset.

"Too far Henderson-" he says calmly, trying to get rid of the agitated part of his tone. Watching the way Henderson's shoulders deflate under the words. Meeting his eyes a bit. That mutual agreement they had months ago coming through, not once has Steve ever had to say to far to Dustin about something. Normally it was Steve who took the jokes to far sometime. Used to tough jocks his age who made fun of stuff like that, not a small teen boy who was obviously going to have some insecurities. "First off, I don't agree with my parents. Honestly, I didn't even know they were doing that. Haven't spoken to them in weeks, with the 'earth quakes' my phone line has been down, and I just got it fixed a few days ago. Plus, it’s not like my parents ask me for permission to do anything before they do it!" he rambles out. Most days he doesn’t even touch his phone, it was always through the radio that he contacted the group by.

"Second, I am sorry about your club. I'm sure that you brainiacs will figure out a way to steal the parts back and finish it up by yourselves. You've got a lot of it done. Third, no I am not on your side dude. I'm on all of your guys. Which includes the others not just you Henderson." Steve says waving his right hand loosely, leaving the other on his hip. Cocking said hip off to the side a little bit, his nose flaring a little as he hears Robin moving around in the back. His head was starting to kill him from all of the commotion, as he moves forward grumbling under his breathe as he pulls a ibuprofen out. Popping it in his mouth before swallowing and then sassily waving his hands for the kids to get out.

"Now scadadle. Start coming up with ideas for your own clubs, I'm sure you can create your own. Don't need money to just hang out with each other. Plus, I expect you to figure out a way in stealing what you started to  create Henderson." Steve says with a playful huff. Dustin his moving back a little as he nods his head eagerly. Much more calmer then what he been earlier. Now he looked like he had a part of a plan formed in his head as he playfully bounces up and down walking backwards out of the store with the other goons following shortly behind as their voices start to mix and go over each other as ideas started to form.

"You okay Steve?" Robin asks curiously. Moving over to him, slightly hovering over him as he sits down on the chair. He looks up with a soft smile, feeling her hand laying on his shoulder where his neck met his shoulder. He moves his own hand placing it on top of her tinier in a comforting manner. As if he wasn't the one who needed it.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiles dimly, watching his friend relax before patting his shoulder absent mindlessly then walking away to go finish what she had started.

Thing is, Steve has always randomly gotten the urge to pack up and leave. Leave everything behind, start over, become someone new - someone that wasn't Steve Harrington. Son of two rich assholes who didn't have any real touch to reality. Become something more, be something more then the image his parents have created, no spray painted all over this town. Of course he's used to it but the thoughts are particularly hard to shut up tonight.

Has Steve really not changed at all?

Is he still like his parents?

What if everyone around him was better off without him?

Now, the last thought was a bit shocking. Steve wasn't suicidal, he just wanted to curl up somewhere and disappear for a while. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to be living in a sense. He was exhausted, feeling his bones ache to just lay in bed for a while. Though he was tired, he couldn't fall asleep. It was the most annoying thing he's ever felt. He rubs a hand through his hair, runs a hand down his face. Sitting up when the reality of the situation hits him. He can start over, he can leave Hawkins behind, he can go off and start off fresh. The excitement fills every part of his body as he throws himself out of his bed, looking around the room as he realizes he can make his own room. Have something that was his own, just as long as he got out of this town. Just as fast as he makes the decision to leave, he is quick to shut it down. Running a hand through his hair. Stressed out by the thought of even leaving Robin and the kids behind.

Deflated of all hope he moves curling back into his bed. Deciding he would much rather live in misery, then conflict any hurt feelings on his friends. His rambling thoughts are non stop as he stays curled up, now on top of the comforter. Feeling the sun beaming through his window as he turns on his shoulder getting more excited about getting up and seeing Robin. Though slightly agitated that he had just spent the last eight hours laying in bed doing nothing. Hopping off the bed he moves, pulling his sweats off, then his shirt before scratching at the slight happy trail he had that connected to even more hair hidden behind his boxers. Moving his body at weird angles as he starts to get changed, tracing his v-line as he looks at the mirror. Slight scaring placed underneath his finger tips before he pushes himself out of his room, heading to the diner to meet Robin and Eddie for breakfast.

And today feels like yesterday, then feel the same as tomorrow. As he sat down next to Robin he felt like everything was moving around him so fast. Robin and Eddie’s voices drowning out in the back of his head. Eyes glossed over with exhaustion as he looks around the diner. Eyes stopping at the newspaper that had been pinned up on a board near the kitchen. Swallowing a bite of food he leaves his eyes trained there. Looking at the image of a town further away, that seemed to somehow be smaller then Hawkins. That seemed nice, Hawkins was pretty big for a rural town. In his head Steve realizes he’s daydreaming about leaving. About just disappearing, imagining everyone’s reactions. Knowing that not many people would care. Most likely only Robin and Dustin would be the only ones to notice his absence.

The slight shove against his side and his attention is back on Robin who’s not asking this time as she forces the last of her pancakes on his plate. Leaving a bit more for him then what she normally would, as if she was trying to make up for the day before. Steve smiles tiredly as he starts to eat. Staying silent as he glances over at Eddie. Who was a little disheveled this morning. Hair a mess, bags under his eyes as he rambles his thoughts out as well. Robin seemed a bit more tired then normal as well. “What’s got you two so tired?” He teases. Knowing his excuse, but it was rare for Robin and Eddie to have sleepless nights on the same night. It was more common for one to come in like a zombie and the other to be beaming until their roles were reversed. Steve would be the consistent one, always getting enough sleep. On occasion though he had his moments, like today.

“Oh, Eddie decided he wanted to throw a long ass session yesterday. Argyle, Jonathan, and I were all up until three am dealing with his bullshit.” Robin laughs gently. Steve looks amused, though his chest ached. Logically he knows he wouldn’t have been playing with them, but it still stung that he hadn’t been there when they were playing. He wouldn’t mind watching. And typically before every session he was invited to join anyway, to watch which he gladly accepted. Though there is no comment said about him not being invited, as if it was just common knowledge that he wasn’t accepted in the group.

“Oh?” He chuckles gently, running a hand through his hair as he lets the topic die. Letting Eddie take over, talking about some movie that was coming out. His brain wandering, not finishing his food as he steps out of the booth when it’s finally time to leave. Normally the minutes went by super fast, and he didn’t want to go. Today, he was bored out of his mind and couldn’t wait to head back home. Not having a shift today, maybe he could get a quick nap in. Waving at Robin, who would catch a ride with Eddie who would be passing the family video on his way home. Steve moves clicking himself in the car and rubs his eyes. He’s on a loose thread, and he felt like something was coming. Something that was just going to cut it in half and force him to have to do something he had no plans on doing.

And it does. When he gets a phone call from Keith, the store manager. Who’s trying to get him to come in on his day off. Wanting him to cover a shift, that someone else could easily cover. Steve was close to passing out, there was no way he was able to get behind the drivers wheel and drive like this. “Keith! Can you - dude I can’t come in right now!” He snaps. Running a hand down his face. This was really going to be his last straw. Something so small yet so big. The urge to run away was getting stronger, to escape from the real world. His exhaustion running deeper then just physically but also mentally. Before he can even think about what he was saying he spits it out. “Fuck dude! You know what, I quite. Don’t even bother calling me again, my uniforms already in my locker so I don’t even need to drop it off.” Steve snaps. Slamming the phone into its holder.

It felt amazing, the slight relief of not having something tying him down. The feeling was addictive as he sets his back against the wall. Sliding down dramatically as he feels tears forming in his eyes. Then the relief is gone and he’s overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with everything. Soon, he knows Robin will be calling him. Probably chewing him out about quitting the only stable job there was in Hawkins. His mind was making everything seem bigger then what it really was, anxiety eating away at his stomach as he tilts his head back. He felt like he was drowning, though just a few days ago he had been perfectly afloat. Fine really. Then something happened and he was being pulled down. Shuddering at the thought of a hand wrapping itself around his ankle and yanking him down he throws himself off from the cold floor. Rushing to go to his room.

Logic was gone, he needed to leave. Before this town dragged him down any further. Duffel bag on his bag, his movements and decisions are erratic and stupid. Any person staring and watching from a third persons view could see that. God even Steve could see that, but his brain was so wrapped around the feeling of being buried alive that he doesn’t even care. He wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t calm either. Pulling what he needed out, this was all last minute and he knew that the second he left Hawkins he would be stuck in shitty hotels and sleeping in his car for awhile. Though that sounded more exciting that sleeping in this empty house.

Moving to his closet next he pulls out what he needs, leaving everything else as is. There wasn’t much he needed here. Grabbing his walkie, hoping that where he went would be able to catch the station the kids were on. Moving to the bathroom packing soaps and his toothbrush. Careful not to let any of it explode in the bag. Moving out to his car tossing it in the trunk, before he’s moving back in grabbing any food that wouldn’t expire any time soon and didn’t need to be refrigerated. Though he was panicked, he was clear minded enough to think about cleaning the fridge out. Not much in there anyway. Running a hand through his hair he grabs his keys and takes one final look at the house. He could back out now. But that made him more upset then the thought of leaving Robin and everyone behind. Of course he left a small note, where he knew Robbie would find it. Though he’s sure that he would call when he got to a gas station. Coming up with an excuse about a family emergency.

Moving out side he realizes the thought of never returning to this ugly house didn’t phase him as much as he thought it would. Growing up he was convinced that he would be crying when he drove away from it for the last time. Instead none of those emotions were there. Instead his hands shook as he gripped onto the steering wheel. Looking forward, and not behind him as he pulls out. He shouldn’t be driving, with the lack of sleep he really shouldn’t. Though he needed to hold onto the walkie. Moving and grabbing it from the other seat he presses it hard on his right thigh. Letting the windows down, wind wipping his hair all over. He’s sure that this stunt would only last him a couple of weeks, he would be back in no time.

As the sun comes up, he slips his glasses on. Beaming excitedly as he turns the radio on. Letting whatever station that had been on last play. Heading off to god only knows where, with only what he got, a wallet with all of the money he’s saved up over the past couple of months and a bank account filled with hush money that has been yet to be touched. There was nothing but looking up from here. Letting the road take him where ever it wanted to, hours away from Hawkins. And when it was time for him to meet Robin and Eddie at the diner for their daily breakfast, he’s tempted to turn back. Hearing the panic in Robins voice through the speaker. Reminding himself that he would call later, he turns the thing off. Throwing it to the seat, hearing it thud to the car floor. Nothing but the woods and dirt roads surrounding him now as he finally fulfills his dream of running away.

With the time he had, he knew he was being stupid. Stupid got you killed. But kids his age were allowed to be stupid, so why wasn’t he allowed to be stupid. It wasn’t fair. He sighs as he sees a huge sign that read open. Moving and parking in the driveway, feeling and hearing his tires crunch against the rocks as he heads to eat in a entirely new diner, all by himself and alone for the first time in months.

And god, did it feel good.

Tag list; @whalesharksart @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steddie-as-they-go @justforthedead89 @kengwisi @anzelsilver @miss-wright

*note if you wanted to be added to tag list let me know, though again I don’t plan on this being more then a few parts and no more then 20-30k words because I’m also working on a bang fic lol*

[cinebration]

Ready (Tommy Conlon x Reader) [Request]

I was thinking of Tommy Conlon were He is out with his friend and also his friends sister who he secretly likes. He has a confrontation with some guy. And when he turns around he sees she looks scared and he is gutted that he frightened her after everything with his parents. So he does his best to show her he is not that person.—Requested by anon

Warnings: mentions of violence and blood, very lightly implied PTSD

Gif Source: dailytomhardy

“Tommy, stop!”

Your shriek cut through the fog in Tommy’s mind. He reared back, a bloodied fist drawn behind him, ready for another strike.

“Stop!”

Again, your voice cut through the fog. Tommy stared down at the man beneath him, slowly coming back to himself. The man’s face was a mess, bloodied and a little pulpy from the pummeling. Tommy let go of the man’s collar. He slumped back onto the concrete with a groan whistling through a busted tooth.

Tommy rose to his feet, shaking off the last of the fog, and turned to you.

The look of horror on your face curdled his stomach. You couldn’t look at him, could only focus on the beaten man on the sidewalk. In the distance, someone was calling the cops.

He started it, Tommy wanted to say, but the words were stuck in his throat, impossible to dislodge as he stared at your terrified expression.

“C’mon, Tommy,” your brother said, yanking on his arm. “We’ve gotta get out of here.”

He whispered your name, the only thing that could work itself past the lump in his throat. You jerked, flinching to hear it from his lips, and risked a glance at him before tearing your gaze away, following after your brother’s hastily retreating footsteps.

Tommy moved numbly after you, sick to his stomach.

~~

Tommy had fucked up a lot of things in his life, but this was the worst. It didn’t matter than the other man had been the aggressor or that he had tried to lay hands on you. What mattered was that Tommy had put him down and had beaten him nearly to death. If he had only broken the guy’s arm or punched him flat out instead of wailing on him, he wouldn’t be facing your terror and your disappointment.

He slept poorly in the weeks that followed. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw your face, the horror etched starkly in your beautiful features. He had never seen that look on your face before, and the fact he had caused it made him ill. He couldn’t sleep, he could hardly eat, and he was desperate to see you again to explain it all away, to allay your fears.

Only he couldn’t get ahold of you.

Much of your interactions had been through your brother, Tommy’s longtime friend from before the army, the only friend he really kept from before then. Your brother had been a lifeline to him, keeping in touch when Tommy was forced to watch his mother waste away from the cancer. He owed much to the man, even more so for having you for a sister.

While Tommy could get ahold of your brother, he was having no such luck reaching past him to you.

~~

“Isn’t your sister coming?” he asked over the phone, gripping it hard enough to make his knuckles white.

“Nah, she’s got some other things to do.”

Tommy knew he was lying. Stomach twisting into knots, he asked carefully, “She doesn’t want to see me? Or you don’t want me to see her?”

“C’mon, man, don’t be like that.”

“Answer the question.”

A huff on the other end. “She just needs some space, Tommy.”

Tommy pressed the phone to his forehead, suppressing a grunt of frustration.

“She’ll come around, I promise.” Your brother’s tinny voice emerged from the handset. “She does this when she’s got stuff to work out, that’s all.”

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“Does it usually take?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know, really depends on what she’s working through.”

“Is there…” Tommy unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “Is there anything I can do to make it…easier?”

“Give her space, man. She’ll come to you.”

Tommy could hear if she does in your brother’s voice. He hung up without another word and fought the urge to drown himself in drink. The last thing he wanted was for you to appear on his doorstep to find him inebriated and incorrigible.

~~

Fate made is such that he ran into you accidentally a week after the call with your brother. He stepped around the corner of the market and literally ran into your shopping cart, doubling over it and shoving you back a few steps, the hand-bar jackknifing your stomach. You reared back to yell at him, saw his face, froze.

He couldn’t move, his rough hands holding the basket of the cart still.

“Tommy,” you exclaimed quietly, stuttering over his name.

Your name came over a whispered exhalation out of his mouth.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” you continued, averting your gaze.

Tommy felt something wrench inside him. “It’s good to see you.”

“You, too.”

“We should…talk.”

“I’m kinda busy right now.”

Feeling you slip between his fingers, Tommy struggled to hold on tight. “About what happened—”

“Tommy, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

You blinked, lifted your gaze to meet his. For the first time since the incident, you held it, searching his face. He prayed you found something good, and if not good, then something not wholly bad.

“I wasn’t…you were just…you were so brutal, Tommy.”

He dropped his head. “Yeah.”

“Is that because of…you…or because of the army?”

He hadn’t expected that question. Frowning, he considered it slowly. “I’m…angry. All the time.”

“That’s not good.”

“But not around you,” he said, unable to keep the desperation from his voice.

You blinked. “Tommy, if you try to use me to make your anger go away, you’re only going to be disappointed. I can’t be that for you.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying? Because it sounds to me like one day you could just decide to be angry around me, too, and hurt me, too.”

He couldn’t speak, stunned to hear you say he would ever lay hands on you to hurt you. The shock must have manifested clearly on his face, because you hesitated, a crease appearing between your eyebrows as you stared back at him.

“You just…you scared me,” you admitted quietly. “And I don’t know if I can move past that.”

“How do I fix it?”

“I…don’t know.”

Tommy grasped straws. “I could get help.”

“You should only get help if you’re ready to get help, not because you think it’ll make things better with me.”

“I can do that.”

You sighed quietly, not out of frustration but with exhaustion. Tommy deflated hearing it. “Tommy, I just want you to be okay. I don’t want you to go to jail for doing something like that again, and I don’t want you to feel like everything needs to be answered with your fists. Maybe in the ring, yeah, but not outside it.”

Each word fell into him like stones in a well, echoing loud and deep. He let go of the shopping cart, shuffled aside to free the way for you. You took a step forward, coming up alongside him, and risked a glance up into his face.

“I just want you to be okay,” you repeated, reaching out and squeezing his hand.

He held on for as long as you let him, lingering when you pulled away and broke the contact. Standing there, he watched you load up your groceries in your car and drive away, looking tired and sad through your windshield.

I’m ready to get help, he thought. He couldn’t bear the thought of you never speaking to him again.

[withoneheadlight]

| billy & will + pre-harringrove | full fic in spanish |

~

There’s an in-between. The high school and the middle school. A bare piece of land, yellowed from the lack of grass and the rough kiss of the sun and, right in the middle, an old shack.

It's a shabby thing that accumulates lack of re-paintings and excess of humidity but that’s out of sight, in that way of things that are just there but no one wastes time looking at anymore are.

That's where they meet.

Billy lights up a smoke. Slides his ass up an ancient, long retired desk, pasture now of the damp and rot, and leans against the peeling wood. Front and back-row seat to the long column of trees the wind’s rippling along on the other side of the wire fence. The ember warms up his lips as he inhales a deep puff and exhales a,

“You’re getting soft, Billy Hargrove”

He leans his head back and closes his eyes, ears on that ceaseless chirping of the bids that sews together the slow-passing hours of the days and nights of Indiana, and on the delighted screams from the middle-schoolers, remembering that, somewhere in there, there's a bunch of kids who will still be laughing just as hard, just as happy, a few years down the road. That maybe even Max could be one of them, if Billy hurries. That maybe he will too, if Billy is able to control that instinctive reaction that pulls his skin inward and screams at him to stopstopstop, that the soft skin shreds, falls apart so easily.

But maybe it can be both of them, if Billy manages to clench his teeth hard enough and keep on softening.

‘Cause soft skin hurts when it breaks but,

"Hey!"

Sometimes it’s worth it.

Will’s smiling wide. Stops running, abruptly, and then just stands in there, panting. He’s got a funny nose and giant eyes. The kind of bangs that make you wanna blow them out of his eyes even though what they're is too short, actually, and Billy’s always thought he'd do better in life if he didn't. Notice things. If he didn't see that widewidewidewide smile and could read it so easily.

"I've been dying to show you this!" Will kneels down into the grass, chopping out the words in between exhalations. Pulls at the zipper of his backpack, chest heaving, and he doesn't realize he's going to get dirt on the knees of his jeans or that Billy can read it. His relief. Of finding him in here and not just an empty desk. Of how for a kid every single day more means 'You care’.

(About me)

It was early December. Friday right after last period and one of those silly things that only happen in movies. Something so like scripted and choreographed that Billy nearly considered looking up at the ceiling to make sure John Hughes wasn't silently watching them, taking notes from above. They crashed in the middle of a corner. Billy sped up ‘cause he was in a hurry and the only way to catch Max in time lately was to intercept her right out of class. Will ‘cause he's always going like that, Billy knows now. Always a thousand miles per hour. Always verging on time-jump speed to then being the kind of kid who seems so quiet it's scary. They crashed. Hard. In the middle of that corner. Papers flying all over and a curse (Will) and a muffled groan (Billy) and they ended up pulling at the same paper one from each corner. A drawing. Trolls and wizards and a castle and an emerald-green light. A star in the distance, auguring bad omens. Billy forgot to be frightening and Will must have forgotten he was supposed to be frightened when he blurted out a,

"Fuck, Byers. This is frikin’ fantastic."

No fear or reticence or that way he sometimes has of bumping into words and stumbling, just a "Really?" eyes huge and bangs brushing against his eyelashes as he blinked when Billy also forgot he was also supposed to― well, supposed to be Billy Hargrove.

"’Got more?"

So now he skips English instead of Algebra, every Tuesday and Thursday. Sneaks off to that in-between place he knows no one wastes time looking at anymore to light up a smoke, same time as Will has his recess. And the kid doesn't always manage to shrug off of his flock of nerds but he’s lucky, some days.

And he brings the drawings.

Orcs and goblins and enchanted mountains on the northwest and it seems to Billy that there are more princes than princesses and that if there are any, they’re almost always sorceresses, almost always queens and that your attention gets hooked on their burning eyes, not in the clothes they’re missing and Billy feels like it's a small grain of sand, this thing they’re doing. Knows that someone’s already keeping a solid ground under Will's feet ('Joyce' he says it’s her name. And it stings, the way he manages to fit so much love, into such a tiny word). But it also seems to him that maybe it doesn't take much more, for Will, just a few grains of sand, to replace those that being a strange kid in a small town sick with apprehension for what it finds strange, takes every day away from him.

So Billy’s gotta have to clench his teeth ‘till his gums start bleeding ‘cause is that, or let his skin toughen up again. Is that. Or fucking everything up.

And ave María, Billy doesn’t want to fuck it all up again.

So he sucks on his cigarette. Hooks up an eyebrow. Waves his hand to hurry the kid up.

“Mmm. That’s how good you think it is, dickwad? ‘C’mon, got my next class in twenty”

Will flies over the papers. Head nodding and fingers skimming fast. Finds what he’s looking for and yanks it out, raises it up triumphantly in his hand. It’s the sword in the stone and he carries it up to Billy with wet knees and just a little mud-staining. It’s February and the sun’s burning brightly over all the wetness the night’s spent crying. The drawing is a huge dragon, wings made of leather and cartilage, spread out in eclipse in front of the moon, only a few silver rays illuminating the dark knight in front of it. Blue eyes lined in black, blond curls cascading down his back and Billy was clenching his teeth but they part now, ‘cause the figure looks too much like him to be a coincidence. A smile devours his whole mouth. Soft. A joke itching on the tip of his tongue. He grunts a,

“I’ve been called many things. But never this, Byers”

Only half his expression’s visible, eyebrows covered with those thick bangs, and Billy has to once again fight the impulse to blow them out.

“¿Hum?”

“Knight” he says, drawling the teasing tone out “In shining armor”

And It’s such a loss, all that hair. Because it’d pass unseen, if you don’t know him. The way his eyebrows spike up underneath and it burrows in between them, the eagerness of teasing back. But Billy’s lucky, ‘cause it’s been more than two months like this and Billy―

Knows him. Well enough at least. So it doesn't pass unseen to him.

“You know the drill, William. Spit it out. Can see you’re holding it up from miles”

Will purses his lips out tight. Looks like he’s trying but. Nah.

“Wouldn’t be that shiny '' scrunches his nose. Throws a meaningful glance at Billy’s disheveled looks. More thoughtful than not, way more intentional. But that's something he'll figure out when he grows up.

Billy cackles. Will's smile widens, satisfied. Hops onto the desk next to his. Billy offers him the cigarette.

“And―this?” Will shrugs inwardly. Glances up at him. Then down, at the exchange between their hands. Takes the cig in between two fingers and it doesn’t burn but he barely presses them against the filter, anyway, as if he’s afraid it would, all of a sudden.

"Retaliation," Billy half grunts, half laughs, and Will huffs, but swallows a deep breath to gather strength. Exhales. Takes a tiny puff and―

"Argg," coughscoughscoughs "This is. Ugh. It's awful. I don't know how you―” almost throws the cigarette back to him "Ufff, what a―" he hesitates "Yuck"

Billy snorts. Thinks about Max inhaling deep, no more than two weeks ago, eyes pining his in place. Breaking into a violent cough only a second later.

Billy pats Will’s back too.

“That’s good” he says “You better not like it” Will scrunches his whole face “And this too” Billy adds, shaking the drawing a little “This is good, too. Amazingly good, man”

Will. Stares. At him. One. Two. Three long seconds. And Billy hurts a little. With every single one. Three sharp stabs with that newly freed sword. A different kind of ' you care' each one: 'it seems so impossible to me (that you care)'. 'If you think so, maybe it's true (and I do care, that you think it)’. 'Thank you (for caring)'. And then. Those hidden eyebrows. Will’s cheeks puffing out a little when he bites the tip of his tongue and―

"Billy?" his eyes glint, heavy with ill-contained malice.

"Uh?"

"You're the dragon"

"You fucking ass―!"

Billy shoves him sideways. But Will just sways. He doesn't lose footing on that firm ground he’s standing on. Looks back at the drawing, hunches a shoulder up.

"But you’re the knight, too"

He says it in a tone that cuts straight through Billy’s chest Thank you he thinks, even though his soft skin is hurting. And he still doesn't blow hard on that bowl fringe from where it covers Will’s whole forehead but―

Stirs up all his hair instead.

“Eh!!”

“Hey, shitbird. Wanna see the one I’ve made?”

Will nods quickly. All contained-speed and reverberating and sometimes Billy doesn't know how so few people can see it, how big he is for his own skin and he thinks I wish, wish he'd accumulate enough grains of sand to raise up that firm ground under his feet, and get really, really high.

“Sure!”

He keeps it tucked away in the breast pocket of his jacket. Folded in upon itself. Same way he keeps everything else. Folds and layers and at the bottom of pockets no one ever looks at but.

He unfolds it to show it to Will Byers.

“Wow” Will says, and smiles up at Billy like Two months since we crashed against each other and I feel like I know you a little too, Billy Hargrove and Billy hit rock bottom but now at least Max and him sing AC/DC in chorus on the rides back home and Will's voice sounds like 'You're good' as he runs his fingertips over the graphite outlines of the skull and repeats, "Wow"

“Gonna have it done” Billy inhales a deep drag of Marlboro and 'Four Months to Eighteen' and for a moment it’s like he could feel the smoke curl up inside his lungs before blowing it out. The image is as pretty as it’s stupid. He glances at the open jaw of the drawing and thinks maybe he'd like a drag too "Have it healed for summer and―"

“What’s happening here?”

Steve.

Harrington.

Hand on his hips, preppy pastel polo lapels up, Ray-Bans holding up that way his hair swirls without really taming it. The twelve o'clock sun is shining sideways from his back and he's pretty. Painfully pretty. And Billy’s sure it's impossible that this redneck raised on corn and money amassed in dubious moral business is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen but sometimes he forgets. That it is impossible because. Fuck. It so seems like it. Light flicking on the ends of his hair where it curls. Under his ear. In the long curve of his neck. And the world doesn't halt and the birds don't stop chirping and the clouds don't part and no preternatural shit happens because this is the black hole where all the world's shit goes, Indiana. But. It so seems like it and,

Billy.

Knew how to breathe but that’s another thing he keeps on forgetting. Every time Steve Harrington passes him by.

He’s gotta force himself. To nod. To stop choking. When Will looks up at him with those big eyes. Questioning.

Apologizing.

Billy Hargrove, from freshly crowned local terror to―

“I was―” Will starts. Inhales. Presses his lips together right before blurting out the truth ‘cause he knows it's the only real way out "Showing Billy my drawings. Sometimes we―"

―the softie whose pride goes high up in his throat every time an eleven-year-old kid says 'Billy, this is good. It's very. Very good, Billy’.

"Sometimes we. Uhm. We―"

Will's already huge eyes get bigger, rounder. As if he’s just realizing that where he's stuck his foot keeps getting muddier, trapping himself all the way in. And Billy smiles lightly at him, sideways, so it’s hidden. From Steve Harrington. From all the world beyond. ‘Cause of that thing about facades and how hard they’re to maintain, when on one side is pressing what you're supposed to be and on the other, relentlessly, what you're hiding.

But Steve’s asking,

“Sometimes―what?” and Will’s eyes are fixed on Billy, two wide-open I’m sorrys and Billy thinks Fuck it, Hargrove. C’mon. Stop hiding.

So he’s the one who says,

“We share our drawings, Harrington”

And Steve.

He’s got those eyes.

They're like a troubled ocean in the heart of winter, those eyes. Hard, hard, hard. Imposing. But soft. So fucking soft. When something catches him off guard. Rolling stones in the breaker. And Billy wants to get swept up in them, like falling along the curve of a wave. Steve looks at him, and at the drawing in his hand, his eyes a swirl and, when he looks up, the calm. And Billy feels as those times when it seemed to him the waves wanted. To wrap around him. To catch him. Soft as the reflecting clouds. And Billy feels as those times when he’d let them. Carry him. Drag him to the shore. Safe and sound.

“Is that yours?” Steve frowns. When he does that. He looks the prettiest. And Billy's heart breaks. In tiny tiny pieces. Thinks This is what it takes, thinks Fuck, thinks, This is how things hurt when you let your skin get soft.

What you don’t have. What you want. What you could―

Fuck.

What you could love so bad you'd rip your own skin off, so they could touch your heart right with their own hands.

Billy nods. Will smiles. Steve’s frown softens and― waveswaveswaves. On an autumn morning. Waves lapping at the surface of an ocean of calm.

And now. Billy sings AC/DC with Max. His heart taking on water when his voice falls off-key and she clutches at her lungs, choking on laughter. Now, he sits in the back of an old shack halfway between who he is and who he should be and so, so very carefully turns at the pages of Will Byers' sketchbook.

And Billy Hargrove hit rock bottom one day in late October. Hit rock bottom and beat into pulp that pretty face he can't stop seeing in his dream. When he's asleep. When he's awake. Hit rock bottom and that's where he's going to stay. It's either that. Or risk coming up to the wrong surface. And it's easier, here at the bottom. Easier to see what matters, when you look up.

Here, Billy takes a breath. Deep. Deeper. Holds onto that air so he has something keeping him alive underwater when Steve snatches the drawing off his hands. Studies it carefully. Says,

"It's―Uhm. Well―" Grins "It's not. Beautiful. Like, conventionally." He eyes cut back to Billy and something in them breaks into whitewater, into that softness he can't help, as if everything else is as much of a lie as 'Billy Hargrove' and all those imaginary walls "But―"

He says ‘But’ and then. The bell goes off.

"Oh!" Will bounces on the spot "I have to―" he yanks the backpack shut "Class!"

He takes off. Running. Turning around right before the corner of the shack to wave at them, flashing one of those smiles Billy has involuntarily categorized as 'the good ones', wide and already almost panting again, before disappearing at the speed of light towards school and to, Billy hopes, be one of those few kids who are still going to be laughing just as hard, just as happy, a few years down the road. If they’re lucky.

(If Billy’s lucky)

Steve Harrington is still there, planted in front of him when the alarm stops.

"Can I bump one of those?" he asks, chin pointing to the smoke Billy's squeezing between his fingers. In the drift of his hair the Ray-Bans stay afloat, capsizing.

Billy bangs the base of the pack against his thigh, pops out a cigarette. Offers it to him. Scrapes his thumb along the wheel when Steve takes it to his lips, leaning forward and― It's broad daylight but in the thin glow of the flame it almost feels like it’s that exact instant when the world begins to fade, darkness turning wide-open spaces into narrow little universes: Steve Harrington and his red lips around the smoke and a small ache in the pad of Billy's thumb from keeping alive the fire and from wanting things with a bigger kind of ache, his heart cauterizing from holding inside the rage of knowing he's never, ever going to have them but―

"But?" Billy asks.

Steve grabs his wrist. Hollows out his cheeks. Inhales deep. Takes him a moment when he pulls away. To let go. Long enough that his fingers could read the way Billy's pulse is raging in his wrist, if he wanted to.

“But” And he’s smiling. Lopsided. He slips into Will's seat and stretches his neck toward the sky. Prolongs the wait. Exhales. "It's cute."

And then his gaze cuts down and he’s searching for him, with those eyes of his. For Billy, who can never stop looking at him so, when he finds him, finds him looking back already.

And Billy―

Billy.

"Cute?"

Billy. Blinks. His hand stops halfway from getting his own cigarette to his mouth. Stops his heart and it feels like time’s stopping too, in this narrowness Steve's presence has reduced the moment into. And he’s smiling big now. His eyes soft. Soft. So fucking soft. And Billy thinks,

You're getting soft too, Billy Hargrove. You want to let him shred off your skin, when Steve says,

"You," snorting a soft laugh, sun melting in his eyes like honey "With Will. Drawing."

Billy wants him to never stop looking at him like that. Wants to lean in, and kiss him.

"Shut up and smoke your fucking cigarette, Harrington" he growls.

And Steve rolls his eyes in a way that screams 'Gotcha, Hargrove', but leans his back against the peeling wood of the shack.

And does as he’s told.

(Next Tuesday, it's not just Will who shows up, when the bell starts ringing)

.

.

i just finished translating this and, since i had originally written this part as and stand-alone thing. here it is. idk if it's worth the work of translating it whole, or if i really feel like it but, we'll see!. i've been at war with life and writing this past few weeks but i've been missing you so much, fandom <3<3<3. hope you've been doing well.

also billy + will + drawing is one of my fav hcs and there are a few tiny things more that i wanna write? hopefully i will 🌟

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Please Me: Futakuchi's Fun

Kenji Futakuchi x dom fem reader

⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+ MINORS DNI ⚠️

Welcome to week 2 of the Please Me Series!  A collaboration with @axoxtxhxh!  First up, we have femdom wins featuring Futakuchi and Asahi!  Please check out Joey’s fic, Asahi's Awakening!  I will link it in the please me master list!  

Please Me Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, unwanted touching, dirty talk, public sex, fingering, male and female oral, hand jobs, pet names, switch Kenji, switch leaning dom reader, cum play

Word count: 5,200

"Jas really? Another date?” you sigh as your life long friend tries desperately to convince you this is a good idea.

“Y/N, I promise.  This one is right up your-” your loud friend starts to say as you cut her off almost immediately.  

“You said that about guys 4 and 5.  So what makes you think 6 is going to be so special?” You smirk at her questioningly.

You knew your friend meant well, unfortunately after the 3rd date she had set you up on, you realized her taste in men weren’t anywhere close to yours.

“Y/N I promise, if this one doesn’t work out, I'll stop setting you up on dates. Ok?” Jas speaks as she cautiously awaits your response.

“I remember a similar conversation after the magician, Jas” you say as your eyes narrowed.

“But this one I know personally!  My boyfriend works with him and actually went to school with him.  He’s been single for a while but I finally convinced him to meet with you!” she said enthusiastically.

“I tried to stop her” Her boyfriend interjected “but you know how she gets about this Y/N.”

“Oh hush now!  Kenji is a great guy.  A little rough around the edges but super nice” Jas says as she slow turns away from you.

“Oh god” you say as you bury your face in your palms.

“To be fair YN, he has changed since high school.  He was captain of the Volleyball team so he kind of transitioned from being the huge dick he use to be” Jas’s boyfriend says as he walks from their apartment kitchen.

“oh nice, a former jock whose still living in high school. Sign me up” you say as you sarcastically throw your hands up in the air.

“YN he still plays volleyball so he’s not a former jock, he still is one.  Besides he really doesn’t seem at all like his teammates described him” Jas shurgs “plus I have to you two meeting at a bar and grill so if anything there’s booze.”

“Oh a perk to this date?” you say sarcastically as Jas smacks your arm.

“See? This is exactly why she will get along with Kenji great” Jas yells to her boyfriend who only laughs.

You roll your eyes and think to yourself.

I guess one date wont be so bad.

The night of your date approaches quickly, much to your dismay.  You opt to wear a simple, mid thigh length black dress and your black leather jacket.  You stare at your heels and opt for flats instead.

“Honestly I don’t know anything about this guy so flats is probably a good option” you say as you slip on your shoes and descend to the street below.

You arrive at the bar/grill and check you’re phone. Jas texted you telling you Kenji was there and waiting for you at the bar.  You sighed as you walked in, heading towards the bar.  

Suddenly you felt a hand grab up your dress as you turn around to see a man standing uncomfortably close to you.

“excuse me? What do you think your doing?” you shout as the man puts up both hands

A tall figure at the bar witnessed the whole ordeal and begins walking up to you.

Suddenly the tall man stops as he hears a loud SLAP echo through the place.  

There you stand toe to toe with the man who groped you as you grab him by the neck, pulling him towards the door.

The tall figure watched in wonder as you disposed of the man outside the restaurant.

“Oh my god ma’am! Are you ok? We saw that man assault you!” the hostess said as she ran up to you concerned.

“Oh gosh I’m fine.  Just another low life.  But I’m afraid I may have broken the pervs nose when I tossed him out. My apologies” you say as you fix your dress, picking up your bag and proceeding to the bar.

The tall figure followed your form as you sat down, almost forgetting the reason you were there.

“Any beer please” you say as the bartender serves you quickly.  While you handled the situation well, your adrenalin was kicking in and you needed to calm down.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Y/N would you?” a tall, good looking man said as he approached you.

“I mean if you are the police, then no” you say as you turn to take another drink

“Do I look like a cop?” He says as he smirks

“Nah you’re too good looking.  Yeah I’m Y/N” you say as you smirk

“Kenji, I’d say it’s a pleasure but I’m kind of nervous after what you just did to that guy.  You handled yourself well” he said as he sat down next to you.  

“Well as long as you don’t grope me, we wont have an issue” you nod sideways to him

“Not unless you want me too” he says cockily

“oh right out the gate. You're a brave one aren’t ya?” you say giggling at his forwardness.

“Well at least I can say I tried” he says “how about we grab a table?”

You get up from you spot on the bar to move to a more intimate table in the back of the restaurant.  The night continues and honestly, you are enjoying yourself.  Sure Kenji was cocky and full of himself but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle.  Plus the man could take a joke which provided you both with good banter all night. You both finish off your final beer as you stand up.

“well shit I knew coming to a bar/grill wouldn’t be the best idea” you giggle as you stumble a bit.  Kenji chuckled as he held on to your arm.  

“For as hard as you fight, you sure are a lightweight” he laughs as he grabs your waist “lets get you home.”

He walks you to your apartment as you lean on him for support.  It's not like you drank a lot but you imagine that the drama from earlier caused you to consume your drinks a little faster than you were use to.  

“welcome to my humble abode” you scream as you throw your hands up as Kenji sets you keys on the counter and removes his shoes.  

You sit on the couch as you motion for him to join you.  He sits besides you.

“20 questions, lightening round and GO!” you screech.

“ok but you start champ” He says.

“Why are you single?” you starting off strong.

“damn right out of the gate.  ok well my ex and I had a mutual break up 6 months ago.  I don’t see her or speak to her anymore” he says.

“far enough” you say smiling “hit me.”

“why did you agree to let Jas set you up with me?” He says

“oh GOD!  she’s been trying to set me up with someone for months now.  you are number 6 but I will say you’ve made it further than any other guys” you say

“far enough" he says

“top or bottom?” you say nonchalantly

“Jesus YN!” Kenji laughs as he fakes an offended look

“What?  It can tell you a lot about a person” You say

“Fine.  I’m actually more of a dom top” he says shrugging  

“Well shit” you laugh

“What? Are you a bottom?” he says questioningly

“ah ah you have to ask me a different question” you smirk

“Fine. What’s your favorite postion”

“Easy, cowgirl” you spit “what kind of dom are you?”

“I feel like we are grazing over the ‘cowgirl’ comment Y/N” Kenji laughs as you lay back putting you feet on his lap as if he was an old friend or a lover.

“what I like to top!  gives me more control.” you shrug

“Ah so you like control?” he asks

“Yes and you ignored my question” you say

“mostly a service and pleasure dom.  But I also like control” he says

“haha most men say that and let me tell you, it’s a major let down” you laugh

“oh really now?” he questions  

“I’ve slept with more ‘doms’ than I care of even mention” you say as you quote the air “most men don’t even know how to please a women let alone know to service one.”

“well you sound pretty knowledgeable on that Y/N” Kenji smirks as he leans back softly stroking your legs

“Kenji, I’ve slept with dozens of men and when I say I can rip orgasms from them with ease, I’m not exaggerating” you say smugly

“oh is that so” Kenji says as he leans closer to you “ok then how about a little bet?”

“bet? The fuck for?” you say confusingly  

“ok well you are basically saying you can out Dom me correct?” he says smugly

“you got it chief" you smirk, putting up cutesy annoying finger guns.  Kenji laughed at your gesture.  

“ok then lets do this.  We each plan a date and end the night fucking.  Whomever gets the highest rating wins” he says as he tilts his head slightly to the side

“interesting” you say as you sit up “ok so lets say I agree.  How do we judge?  I mean what if you give me a bad rating just to win.”  

“Listen Y/N I’m sure you can tell this but I’m a pretty honest person.  If I’m not getting pleasure, you’ll know it” he says  

“Ok so we just rate each other on what? The date and the sex?” you say.

“well how about the sex is the most points and the date is just extra” he says as he winks “because outside of sex, I’d really like to see you again”

You smile, kneeling on the couch close to him.  

“Fine but we are not starting tonight.  No sex until our next date” you say as you narrow your eyes.

“You’re drunk Y/N. I would never” he says putting his hands up.

“Well alright then how about  next Friday night you start since this was your suggestion” you say extending your hand.

Kenji grabs your hand pulling you towards him as your lip meet his in a sweet, heated but short kiss.  You pull away with a smile.

“Its a bet” Kenji says with a smile.  

The following week came fast.  You and Kenji texted often during the week.  It wasn’t like you were nervous for your date or what was to follow.  You were confident in yourself and your skills as a more dominant person.  However this was something new for you and sometimes new is scary.

“You ready Doll” Kenji says as you greet him at the front entrance of your apartment complex.  

“Ready as Ill ever be” You smile softly as he grabs your hand and interlaces your fingers with him.

“Starting off strong I see” you say as you lift your hands to show him what he already knew.

“Nah, it just felt right” He smiled as you blushed lightly

“Alright so where to?” you question

“It’s a surprise doll.  Trying to get the extra points where I can” he says as he smirks as you and you blush at the pet name

You walk down the street and arrive at a small pizzeria.  It looked very intimate and hidden in plan sight.  Honestly you were surprised you had never noticed it before.

“I’ve never seen this place before” you smile as he holds the door for you to enter.  

“That’s why I like it.  Its small and out of the way” He smiles as he places his hand on your lower back guiding you to a intimate table in the back corner.

Dinner goes as planned as you enjoy some of the best pizza you have ever had in your entire life.  You smile as Kenji pays and you head to your next location.

“An arcade?” you laugh as Kenji just shrugs.  

“You seems like a competitive person but a fun competitive not a serious one” He smiles as he pulls you into the arcade.

You play games and laugh for what seems like hours before you decide its time to move on to more “serious” matters.

“That was so much fun Kenji” you say as he pulls you down a secluded alley and begins kissing you feverously.

“Is this where you kill me” You giggle when he moves down your neck trying to find your sweet spot.

“Nah doll this is where I fuck you” he says as he discovers you sweet spot pulling a moan from you.  He feels incredible pressed up against your heated core. You can feel his cock harden on your thigh.

“Kenji ah” You moan as his hands travel up your dress, groping your ass “here? Wont people see?”

He breaks away from you neck kissing your collarbone “its worth the risk doll.  Plus I cant wait any longer to be inside you.” He kisses you grind your core into his thigh.

You moan as he assaults you collarbone,  your hands traveling up his shirt as he pushes you against the brick wall, caging you in making you feel oddly secure and comforted.

“Fuck doll- your skin is so soft, I bet your cunt is soft too. Shall we take a look?” He says as he inserts his knee between your thighs opening them up and snaking his hand down your panties.  His hands are rough, surely from his job and all those years of Volleyball.  You can feel the excitement radiate off of him as he closes in on your core.

You can feel how wet you are as you both groan as he reaches you clit. His rough fingers providing the perfect stimulation for your needy cunt.

“Shit baby, I’d say you are pretty turned on from public sex huh?” he says as he whispers into your neck as he begins to rub circles into your hardened clit.

“Ahh Kenji- please I need you” you moan as he starts to pry to fingers into you sopping wet cunt.  His hands feel incredible.  Even with your body count as high as it is, you’ve never had anyone make you feel so amazing.  

“Oh fuck doll, damn you are tight.  We need to lose this pussy up, I don’t want to hurt you” He says as he inserts to of his long fingers into your cunt as you brace yourself on the brick wall. You can feel every inch of his long, sturdy fingers probe your wet insides. The feels is unreal. You can feel the knot in your stomach tightening.

Your head falls back as he reaches your sensitive spot.  He pumps his fingers into your cunt as he curls them to reach the spot that made your vision darken. You can’t contain yourself any longer, his fingers feel utterly incredible.  

“Come on baby, cum for me please. Then I’ll fuck you good ok” He begs as he kisses your neck. God this man knows just what to say.

“Kenji please I’m so close- ah right there Kenji!” you moan as your head falls back and he pumps his fingers faster.  You feel the cord in your stomach soap instantly.. You cum with a gush as Kenji smiles, pulling his fingers you and offering them to you.  You accept taking them into your mouth as you suck pulling a deep groan from your partner.  You could feel the wetness from your release seeping down your plush thighs as you slowly descended from your high.

“You’re turn” you smile as you reach for his belt.  You couldn’t wait to get your hands on Kenji's hardened cock.

He grabs your hands, stopping you as he pins them above your head with one hand and pulls you in by your waist with another. Your eyes widen with lust as he speaks.

“ah ah doll, I believe its my week to pleasure you” He smiles as he kisses you roughly, tasting the your essence on your lips.  His lips feel incredible.

“fuck I’m going to have to eat this pussy properly later” he groans as he quickly undoes his belt and pants, moving his boxers down.  You knew he was a bit larger than average sized and definitely thicker.  The thought of his cock filling you up made you whimper.  

“But for right now, I’m going to pump this pussy full of my cum.  you want that doll?” he groans into your neck as he pumps his cocks, picks you up and lines you up for him.  You felt the pressure of his tip push hardly against your tight opening.

You had already discussed contraceptives prior to your activities.  You were on birth control and both of you had been tested.  You wanted to keep the play field level so you decided to forgo the condoms.

“holy-” Kenji groans as he pushes into your wet cunt “God baby this is the tightest pussy I’ve ever been in.” You moan as you wince from both pleasure and pain.  

You’re jaw slacks you feel him enter you.  You have never felt so full.  His cock hit every single area of your cunt so perfectly .

“Fuck baby can you relax a little” he says as he tries to adjust you.  

God you are tight he thought to himself.  If he had any less control he would have busted inside immediately.

You cant relax.  He feels so good and the semi public sex is turning you on something fierce.  You can fell your cunt spasm around him as he starts to gently push in and out of you.  You feel like your already close to your release and you barely started!  

He groans as his pace increases and he lifts up your dress further exposing your pussy to him.  He growls as he watches his cock plunge in and out of your tight, wet cunt.  The feeling is unimaginable.

He leans you further back on the wall so he can snake his hand to your clit.  He watches in wonder as he rubs your clit and your mouth slacks open.

You cant even moan.  There is no sound coming from your mouth.  You are utterly mute.  You feel so unbelievably incredible.  

“Ken- fuck I’m going to cum please go faster!” you manage to choke out barely. You aren’t sure you can handle faster but you really want this orgasm.

“As you wish baby” He says pulling his hand from you clit and jackhammering into you at an unbelievable speed.  His hands on your ass as you wrap your legs around his waist.  

“Oh fuck Kenji! I- I" you cant even form words.  This angle, this speed is causing your body to act on its own.  You feel a weird gush of liquid stem from your core as you try to regain control of your thoughts.

“oh shit baby did you just squirt?” he says as he looks at you and his jaw falls open at the feeling.  

He’s never had sex that felt this amazing before.  This angle, this view was everything.  And by your reaction, you seemed to be enjoying it as well.

“Fuck that the was the hottest thing ever baby! Shit- I’m going to cum” he chokes as you finally manage a soft moan and nod as you feel the pressure from your orgasm still present.  God you don’t even want this to end.  This feeling was absolute bliss.

“shit shit baby-FUCK" He says as he stalls into your cunt pushing hard into you as your cunt gladly accepts him.  

You can feel his cum shoot deep inside as you feel your pussy spasm against his cock.

He lays his head in your neck as he catches his breath and you pet his hair smiling, coming down from both of your highs.  It was incredible.

He pulls back gently as he rubs your thighs and hips.  He places his forehead against yours as he looks deep into your blown out pupils.

“Ok well that was the best sex I’ve ever had” he smiles as he kisses you deeply

“Best sex... for now” you giggle as he smiles kissing you again.

He takes out a handkerchief, cleaning you up as you fix your dress and he puts himself back in his jeans.  

“Oh baby the night isn’t over yet” He smiles as he grabs your hand leading you out of the alley and down the street to his apartment.

A whole week had passed since your last “date” date with Kenji.  Honestly it was more of a fuck fest, if you had to label it.  You aren’t sure how you even managed to walk up to your apartment without falling.  It took you 3 whole days to recover.

The sex had been mind-blowing.  Honestly you were scared you wouldn’t be able to top it but you refused to go down without a fight.

This week was your date and you had the perfect plan.

“Alright doll, I’m ready” Kenji says as he leans in to kiss you at your door.

“Ok come in” you say moving to the side allowing him to enter.

“Wait here?” he smiles as he comes in removing his jacket and shoes.

“Yes sir” as you turn around.  You opted to wear an oversized shirt and some thigh highs.  You had a plan and it involves comfort.

“A little underdressed aren’t you doll” Kenji smiles as he sees your shirt lift up revealing your lush ass below.

Kenji bite his lip as he makes his way closer to you attempting to feel up your shirt as he kisses your neck.  You drove him utterly insane wearing that outfit.  

“ah ah ah Kenji” you say as you back into the cabinet “I’m in charge tonight sweetheart” you say as you shake your finger in front of his face.

“ok fine” he says throwing his hands up in defeat as he makes his way to the living room.  Hoping some distance will cool him off a little.  

You had ordered in sushi and had a bottle of wine waiting.  You made your way over to the coach, expertly bending over revealing more skin with each reach.

“I’m beginning to think your goal is torture” he says as he watches you bend over.  He desires to feel your soft skin so badly.

“me?” you say sarcastically “I wouldn’t dare.”

You eat, talk and drink as you laugh about your week and discuss your impending night.  Kenji reaches over testing the waters as he begins laying light kisses on your cheeks, necks and collar bone.

“You know doll, it was torture for me to wait an entire week to fuck you again” he smiles as you kiss him deeply pushing him back on the couch.

“I actually debated just forfeiting” He laughs as you straddle him.

“Awe Kenji hooked on my sweet pussy already?” you say as you start to slowly grind on him.  Maybe torture was part of your plan?!

“fuck- yes baby. Shit you feel so good” He groans as you apply more pressure to your grinding  

“Well I mean, you wont have to worry about forfeiting after I win” you say as he pulls you harder into to his hardening member as you throw your head back in ecstasy.  

It honestly was torture for you to wait as well. You were in agony by Wednesday.  As hard as you tried, you couldn’t get yourself off. You had been completely ruined by the mind-numbing sex.

“Fuck baby you going to show me how to Dom or what” he smiles at you as he watches you lift your shirt, seeing the growing wet patch in your panties forming.  He groans wanting go feel and taste your wet pussy.

“Patience sweetheart” you say as you grind faster into his cock pulling grunts and groans from him left and right.

“Shit baby you’re going to make me cum if you don’t hurry up and fuck me” he says as he can feel his release building

“Who said anything about you being inside of me Kenji?  I’m running this show” you say as you stop grinding and move yourself down between his legs undoing his jeans as he watches you.  

The way you shimmy down his legs towards his crotch has him losing his mind.  He had felt your mouth the weekend prior and knew just how skilled you were with it. He could barely last the way you had taken his thick cock down your throat.

He watches you place licks on his hardened cock as his mouth falls slack and his eyes rolls back.  You adjust your positioning as you continue to suck on his cock, slowly removing your panties and you start to rub your engorged clit.

You were getting so turned on from pulling all the pleasure you could from Kenji.  The way his face contorted in pleasure could make you orgasm on the spot.  

“sit on my face baby please” Kenji says as you continue to suck and lick on his cock.  You stop your motions and look up at him.  

Oh shit don’t stop please he thinks to himself.

“Kenji no” you say sternly as you begin to suck harder and move your fingers around your clit faster.  Tonight was about Kenji and after last weekend, you had a lot of making up to do.  

You feel your approach as you switch to stroking Kenji’s cock as you continue to pleasure yourself.  

Watching you masturbate while you stroked his cock was too much. God you looked like an absolute goddess.

“Baby fuck- I’m going to cum. Please cum with me. I- I want to see you cum as you jerk me off” Kenji groans as he starts thrusting up into your hands as your fingers increase in speed.  You are so close.  

“Oh fuck Kenji, I’m going to cum, cum with me please” You say as your throw your head back in a scream as Kenji releases all over your hand and his stomach and you feel your cunt spasm around nothing.  

“fuck baby you are really something else” Kenji says as he pants heavily coming down from his releases.

You really were.  Never in his life had he been so turned on by a partner.  You made sex fun and interesting and it drove him nuts.  

You stick your fingers in his mouth as you slowly lean down to lick up the cum on his stomach and off his member. He groans as he feels your wet tongue hit his hardened abs and sensitive cock.

Locking eyes with him as you clean up his mess, he pulls his lip between his teeth.  The feeling is too good.  

You stand up as you remove your shirt from your body, revealing you naked form.

“oh fuck angel” Kenji says as he starts to harden immediately at the sight.  God your body was perfect.  Plush in all the right ways and absolutely stunning.  

You remove his pants and boxers as you straddle his waist.  He’s built, no doubt from his job and volleyball.  He’s so pretty.  

You lean down to kiss him deeply, as you force your tongue into his mouth, all while grinding on his hardened cock with your wet pussy.  He groans as you move down his jaw as he pulls your hips faster against his cock.  

You separate as you look down at him, completely blissed out from you grinding against his member. His length feels so good tickling your clit with pleasure.  

You tug as his shirt as you help him pull it over his head, revealing his hardened form.  

You move your mouth his  chest as you suck on his nipples, licking lightly in between them as you move from one to another.

“Fuck baby are you trying to make me cum again” He grunts as you increase your pace.  You want to make him feel as good as he made you feel.

Suddenly, without warning you sink your soaking cunt onto his hardened member pulling a choking grunt from the man below you as his hands dig harshly into your hips.

 Fuck your cunt felt fantastic. Kenji would definitely chose to live in it if he could.  So soft and warm and oh so tight.  

“Are you trying to kill me?” He says as you begin bouncing on him as he tries to control his grunts.  

Fuck- this girl really is trying to kill me.  I’m not going to last.  Focus Kenji he thinks to himself as he tries to regain composure over his body.  

“Death by pussy sounds like a nice way to go” You say as your throw your head back in pleasure.  Unbeknownst to him, you feel just as incredible as he does.  His cock fit your pussy so perfectly.  

He groans as you moan from the friction of his hardened cock.  You speed up as you approach your high.  You can tell Kenji's close because he starts meeting your bouncing with harsh thrust.  

Fuck, he’s going to lose it.  You feel fucking incredible.  The way your pussy sinks down on his cock, taking him in so deeply has him going wild.  He wants to, no needs to fuck you!  

“Fuck doll- you win, you win please just let me fuck you” he groans as you can sense the pain in his voice.  You got what you wanted.  

“Fuck me Kenji.  Pound into your cunt” you moan as he begins to thrust up into your cunt at an unimaginable pace.  

His pace was much faster now than in the alleyway.  You were sure your cervix was going to be bruised tomorrow.  

“Holy fuck baby!  Mine, mine, mine, all mine!” He groans as you scream from the pressure.  This was it.

“Kenji fuck” you says as you feel your cunt spasm from you harsh orgasm that slammed straight into you head on.  

“FUCK FUCK BABY” he groans as he stalls inside you as his mouth falls open and he presses into your pelvis harder.  You grind on him as he pulls you in deeper as his groans slowly start to fade and you both ride out your intense orgasms.  

He’s panting as you breath heavily on top of him, stroking his chest and adjusting his hair from his face.

He moves your hair to the side as he pulls you in for a kiss.

“You win doll you win” he pants heavily with a huge smile on his face.  

“Good and I want my prize right now” you say as you situated yourself still on his cock.  

“Which would be?” he says as he rubs small circles into your thighs.  He isn’t sure what you want but after that last fuck session he’s willing to give you anything.  

“Can we keep doing this?” you say shyly as a smile grows on his face.

“Well, I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend if I won so I would say fuck yes we can keep doing this” He says as he grabs you, standing up quickly running to your room and throwing you on the bed.

“Next, let’s see how long we can fuck before one of us orgasms?” He smiles as he kisses down your neck.

“It's a bet” you say moaning into a smile.  

taglist: @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes @chaotic-nick​ @serostapesweat​

[narrators-journal]

The most dangerous game

I know I’ve been hella dead, but I return with my usual! Stano smut! I dunno why I adore writing these two so much, but I guess I’m attached, so yeah. Ya’ll get content.

CW: Predator/prey vibes, Xeno gets chased but there’s no real big acknowledgement of it.

It was likely because Xeno had developed a persistently wonky sleep schedule that he got so many night time jobs. That, he supposed, was why he was once again out at night hunting another Vampire, despite having told his boss of his run-in with a particularly pretty vampire. However, at the moment, Xeno somewhat wished he was dealing with Stan instead. At least with him he could rely on his need to flirt and toy with him to give him away. But no, the scientist wasn't hunting Stanley, but instead a completely different vampire who was proving his dislike for hunting the blood sucking monsters. Taking advantage of how dark the night was, the human's weaker vision, and whatever ninja techniques he had learned from the internet, the young vampire had hidden annoyingly well in the thick blanket of shadows and clutter on the streets. So, the white-haired college graduate was poking around at every rock and thicket of grass or bushes along the sidewalk before the boiling irritation in his veins got to be too much and he let out a mix of a groan and a scream like a tea pot. Stomping over to one of the few flickering street lights on the road, the hunter stood in the light and dug out his knife, then used it to slash at his stomach to fill the air with the alluring scent of fresh blood. With a pained hiss and the new wet feeling of blood dripping sluggishly down his pale skin, the trap was set, and all the hunter had to do was wait for the shallow cut to work its magic. Which, didn't take long. All Xeno had time to do was get one of his metal stakes from his pocket and extend it, then he was set upon by the vampiric ninja-wannabe. However, despite his skill at stealth, the vampire was young in both a human and vampire sense. Freshly turned at a young age, he'd become a problem because he had yet to grow out of his pubescent hormones quite yet, and giving him a predatory draw and increased strength had only encouraged him to turn hard into the bad boy persona. Sadly, being a new vampire wasn't all improvements. It also meant an increased hunger and little control of your newfound strength. Which is what had led the young man to be targetted by the monster hunter association, and swiftly wiped out by a stake through the throat via Xeno Wingfield. With a grunt, the monster hunter threw the freshly dead young man to the sidewalk, wincing at the burning and itching sting bending down to yank the stake from his throat brought to his stomach. For a moment or so, he felt bad for the creature. He'd been young, and he'd let his newfound powers obviously go to his head after a lifetime diet of anime and movies, the silver haired hunter could understand his over excitement, but he also had little to no patience for dumbasses who couldn't register that they weren't in Naruto. So, his sympathy was brief, and he was soon just dragging the young creature's corpse into some bushes and calling the cleaning crew to come collect him. Then. He spoke.           "God damn, Doll. You're quite attractive when you're being lethal." Stan hummed, hopping down from his hiding spot in a nearby tree and giving the hunter a charming smile that he refused to admit brought a little heat to his face.         "Oh, so you're just gonna become a full blown stalker now? Did you follow me from my house, or was this another 'coincidental' run-in." Xeno's words dripped with sarcasm and venom, but the vampire simply rolled his glacial blue eyes,          "Actually, I'm here because I smelled fresh blood," At the mention of fresh blood, the scientist glanced down at his work shirt, spotting the tiny stain of blood his cut had left,          "Oh." He inwardly winced at how disappointed he sounded, but tried to recover with a sniff, "I had trouble luring the bastard out. It was quite the shock for me to find out that not every vampire would want to chase me down and prowl around my house for the entire fucking night." Stan simply snorted, fishing out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one before he spoke again,          "Nah, that's just my thing, doll,"         "Quit calling me doll! You have my name now, fucking quit." The vampire put his hands up in mock surrender, though his smirk didn't falter under the scientist's withering glare. For a moment, they simply stood in the cool night's darkness, the hunter with his arms crossed and dark eyes narrowed, and the vampire returning his malicious look with his own nonchalant, half-lidded one while he breathed whispy smoke from his dark mouth. Both men seemed to dare the other to say something or do anything, each looking for an excuse to make some sort of contact until the smaller male spoke again,           "Are you expecting me to run away? Because I told you the first time we met, I'm not likely to do that," He huffed, but Stan simply shrugged,           "I'm just messing with ya, doesn't matter to me if you run or not." He grinned more at the lightning fast moment of irritation on Xeno's face, but the hunter schooled his facial features back into their usual disdain-filled glare, only broiling with frustration on the inside. He hated this man's relaxed demeanor. He was a monster hunter, the tall, hypnotically pretty predator should be avoiding him at all costs. Yet here he was, needling at him as if he couldn't end him just as quickly as he had the younger blood sucker. Okay, well, not as quickly. Stanley had a good four inches on the monster hunter at least, and had a body that had been frozen at the prime of his life, toned and pruned like an artfully shaped shrub through the years into a gorgeous, powerful example of why humans were the apex predators of the world. Or, well, they were, but with his change into the more monstrous his status as the perfect predator had only increased. Stan was perfectly built to hunt humans. Not only did he have a supernatural magnetic beauty to him, but he'd been human, so he knew how humans behave first hand. He was a nightmarish wet dream. Xeno gave his head a good shake to banish those thoughts from his mind when he realized he was looking the vampire over with the hunger of a sugar baby sizing up their next piggy bank.           "Hey, Xeno," Stan hummed, but the hunter refused to look back at the man, which he simply took as a greenlight to continue, "you wanna play our little game tonight?" The hunter snorted in response, staring off into the darkness while his cheeks cooled,           "I thought you were only here to bother me, not play a game of fucked up tag," He said calmly, only looked back at the man when he heard him walking closer, only stopping when he was about two feet away, maybe within reach, a grin on his pretty face,           "Well, I thought it'd be a bit more polite to offer that rather than just asking if I could drink your blood outright." he reasoned, amused at the edge of poutiness that he seemed to sniff out through the veil of aloof indifference the hunter spoke with.            "No thanks to either offer, I don't want to be chased tonight." Xeno sniffed in response, simply adding a thicker layer of ill temper to cover how excited he was at the thought of being pursued a second time. The first time had, admittedly, given him a thrill, but he wasn't ready to voice such to the annoying vampire in front of him. However, Stan seemed to have picked up on his kryptonite from that first round,              "But aren't you curious to see what happens when you add the scent of blood to the mix?" The purr in the man's voice annoyed Xeno immensely, but the thought of maybe learning just how sensitive vampire instincts were, and how quickly one would succumb to them. Obviously young vampires are more prone to being controlled by their need to feed, but Stanley isn't a new vampire, that curious voice mused, already setting Xeno on a very likely stupid and dangerous path, It'd be immensely helpful to know just how easy it is to bring out those base urges in him. If he's going to follow you around it's best to know what to avoid so he doesn't go feral. It further encouraged, stoking the flames of the scientist's natural curiosity until he hummed,              "I suppose it would be useful for the association to know exactly what triggers a vampire to go into a frenzy of some sort. Fine." The vampire grinned at that,             "You do know that I can't promise my feeding instinct is the only one that'll come to the surface," he pointed out, making Xeno blink and raise an eyebrow at him,             "What? Why would any other instinct come into play?" turning red as Stan laughed,               "Well, in simple terms, I find you too attractive to promise that when I catch you I'd only want to drink your blood~" Xeno's face warmed up more at that, getting huffy and tripping over his words in his rush to snap at him.               "You can have a five minute head start, just like last time," he simply assured, "Just need a bit of blood, because your original scratch has closed," He laughed more when Xeno pulled up his shirt to see that his shallow cut from earlier had in fact begun to heal, no longer bleeding and instead beginning to scab over. The hunter only responded with a glare at that point as he plucked his knife from the sidewalk where he'd dropped it and wiped it off before leaving another cut along his stomach, this one a bit deeper than the first, but not enough to linger for more than a day or two. With that, Stan gave him a charming smile that showed his extending fangs, his blue eyes already getting a hungry gleam to them. So, without further conversation, Xeno took off down the street. The cuts on his stomach stung and itched more from his running, but he pressed on. His main concern was regulating his breathing and energy so that he could get as far away from the vampire as he could in his small window of time. Naturally, his plan wasn't to just run in a straight line and wait to be caught, not only would that likely be dangerous, as a vampire in a feeding frenzy was much more violent, but was less likely to fulfill the goal of bringing those deadly instincts to the surface at all. So, instead, he sought out other people, a crowded area, maybe a shop, that way it wasn't as easy for the predator to catch up to him. This is insanely stupid, that voice of reason finally spoke up, not only am I playing with fire by instigating an instinctual reaction, but I am woefully under prepared to run from Stan. He realized, filling his veins with icy terror when the weight of his situation fully sunk in, The first time we did this I barely survive on pure panic and him toying with me. If he really loses his shit and goes into a frenzy, I can't outrun him. The reality of the thought hurt, but it was sorely true. Despite all of his training as a monster hunter, Xeno had never been one for good cardio, namely in the stamina category. He relied on his wits and pure speed, not his ability to maintain those speedy response times or pace for long periods. but it's too late now, he reminded himself, thinking back to the way the vampire's fangs had extended so soon after he'd given him a fresh source of scent. Nope, he couldn't chicken out now. He had no choice but to stick to his plan and push the panic and fear aside. Instead, he simply focused on the route ahead of him and locked onto the light of a store further down the street, which he headed for instantly. The bright, artificial light blinded the pale scientist for a moment when he stumbled into the store, but he was swift to regain his barrings and dash down the aisles and through the crowds of night owls and whatnot that were still up at this hour. He knew that his five minutes had ended a minute or so before. Meaning he didn't have long before the vampire would be on his ass. So, thinking quickly, he swiped his hand over his wounds, then smeared the blood on his palm onto the tile flooring in an aisle. Once he had that down, Xeno ran off deeper into the store. He had very few places to hide. The bathroom was basically a dead end with no windows and only one door, he couldn't climb up the shelves or to the rafters in a timely manner, so he forwent that plan. Instead, he did the next best thing. leaving as distracting a trail as possible before bolting out one of the fire exits.            "Shit," he wheezed when the fire exit triggered a screaming alarm through out the store. If Stan was in there, he'd definitely know he got out now, but that only meant the scientist had less time to think of such things. He had to focus on running. So, Xeno ignored the way his legs throbbed, and his lungs ached from gulping down the cold night air. He focused entirely on getting home, or at least to a more residential area. He could feel his limbs getting heavier, threatening more and more to give out with each step, but his grit his teeth and bared it until the threat became reality and the asphalt bit into his skin. And there he laid for a few seconds, gasping for air and scraping up as much energy as he could to push himself to his feet. As he did, he glanced back down the street, and sure enough. Stanley was coming out of the alley Xeno'd run out of, his glowing blue eyes locking onto the scientist in an instant. With another curse spat out through gritted teeth, Xeno took off again. His legs still screamed from exhaustion, and now his hands stung viciously from the fall, but he kept going. He could hear Stan closing in on him, which gave him a final burst of frantic energy that carried him to at least the park near his home before the vampire finally tackled him to the grass. The scientist could only wheeze in response, letting the vampire crush against him and push his face into his pale neck with a growl. That seemed to snap him out of the exhaustion cloud, and in an instant, Xeno was squirming and forcing himself up once again. The only way he managed it was because the vampire was taken by surprise, so he was able to slip from his grasp and scramble up, but he only got a few more steps before he had to lean against a tree for support so that his legs didn't crumble a third time. Then, just as quickly as he'd gotten away, Xeno was back in Stan's luke-warm arms, trapped against his needlessly heaving chest with his fangs hovering over his jugular once more. However, he didn't bite down. To the contrary, the feral vampire seemed to hesitate for a moment, seemingly weighing his options of what to do with the hunter before settling on a choice and swiftly switching to almost slamming him against the nearest tree.           "S-Stanley!" The hunter wheezed, more surprised then anything, pushing back so that his face at least wasn't forced into the course bark and he could look back to try and see the blonde behind him. Said blonde was keeping him in place with a hand on one of his shoulders, looking Xeno in the eye and almost relishing the dawning realization that painted his pale cheeks before he used his free hand to hook into his pants and tug them down pretty roughly. Then, he was back at the man's neck, but this time he bit with his blunter teeth, sucking at the skin until Xeno's mewls and hums were pulled out and he was satisfied with the hickey he'd left. The scientist, meanwhile was a bit ashamed of how quickly he accepted the turn of events. He tried to save some face by muffling the noises bubbling in his throat, but Stan's mouth at his neck, paired with the way he ground his groin into his now-bear rear drug a few noises out. Though, it also bat back the fog of hormones and lust long enough for the hunter to realize that he was very likely to get hurt if he didn't intervene. So, he whined and reached up to tangle his fingers in Stan's messy hair, tugging at it until he finally relinquished his throat from the second hickey he was dedicated on leaving. Carefully, Xeno turned himself around with what little room he was permitted between the vampire's muscular chest and the much-less-forgiving tree. Once they were face to face though, the college graduate's brain no longer seemed to work, so, the two simply stood there, panting a bit from the chase, before he finally gave up on using words and instead simply sunk down to his knees. Keeping his eyes glued to the glowing blue pair above him as he went. Luckily enough for him, his actions at least intrigued the vampire, because he was allowed to tug his bottoms down just enough for his member to spring free, which earned him a noise somewhere between a growl and a hum. With Stan's pants down and his member now standing erect in front of him, Xeno hesitated. Should it matter if I'm any good at this sort of shit? I just need some sort of lubrication, and he shouldn't really care about anything beyond...mating, so surely he won't give a shit, right? He asked himself, puzzling over the predicament before Stan reached down to grab onto his shirt, reminding the scientist of his lack of patience. So, Xeno threw his insecurities to the wind and grabbed onto the base of the shaft so he could slip Stan's impatient member into his mouth. The vampire moaned in response, and Xeno took that as a sign that he'd bought a bit more time for himself. So, he slowed down, bobbing his head at a medium sort of pace to work himself up to taking as much of the length as he could, which, thankfully for him, was almost all of it thanks to years of speed-drinking coffee and energy drinks and eating at record speeds in college. He also found that once he actually got to moving, the embarrassment of his lack of skills faded away, and part of him simply enjoyed the groans he got out of Stan while he moved his lips up and down him at a steady pace. He simply continued to work him as much as he could until the vampire let out a little hiss and gripped onto the scientist's shirt until he pulled away and let his throbbing member go with a coy 'pop'. Suddenly, Xeno was yanked back to his feet and whirled around again to be slammed back into the tree. His pants were tugged down once more and his feet were kicked apart in rapid succession so the monster hunter only got a moment's break before Stan pushed into him. And while it hurt still, the white-haired man found that he didn't mind as much. As the vampire began thrusting into him, one hand clawing into his hip, the other on his shoulder, Xeno moaned out curses and did his best to grab onto the tree or Stan's neck to keep steady under the merciless thrusts of the blonde. It was shameful how hot his body got, but with how Stan was hitting that sweetspot within Xeno, his face back to being buried in his neck for more marks, Xeno couldn't care less.        "Mmmm, fuck! ah, r-right there, please!" he plead, tangling his fingers back into Stan's hair as he moaned, giving another lewd noise when his pursuer did as he asked, swiftly learning that doing so got more needy noises from the hormone-addled hunter. With that, Xeno lost all coherency as euphoria further fogged his mind, and soon brought him to his peak with a whine of the vampire's name. Though, Stan didn't stop when Xeno came, he just kept thrusting into him, still flooding his pale body with more and more pleasure while his hot puffs of breath tickled his hickey-littered neck. The continued rough treatment was beginning to sting, but the edge of pain only seemed to bolster Xeno's pleasure back to its peak, pushing a second orgasm from him before Stan finally grew sloppy with his thrusts and soon gave one final movement before emptying himself into the hunter. After that, the monster hunter let himself melt against the tree, relying on Stanley to hold him up because he was on the verge of passing out after that night's activities. The last thing Xeno remembered was giving a thumbs up to what he assumed was the question 'are you okay'. Then, he let his exhaustion take him into dreamland.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x black reader

Where there relationship has been secret for a while and reader confronts him while there with the ffh cast at a get together and they have a huge argument in front of everyone and reader starts to think he wants to keep her a secret because of what she looks like . Ending in fluff

YES. BTW IF ANYONE ELSE HAS REQUESTS THROW THEM AT ME I NEED TO MAKE IT UP TO UU GUYS🥺

Summary: huh-

Warnings: uhhhh- a dick thomas and a faking it andddd- NOW NOW NOW NANANANA NOW YÆS- jk fluff

A/n: AYO CHILL WITH THE FOLLOWS-AHHHH I LYSMMMMMMMM-

You wanted to not care, you wanted to act like your feelings weren’t hurt- but it wasn’t true, it wasn’t fair. You sigh and laid in bed with him thinking about everything you gave to him, everything you’ve done for him.....but he can’t even take you outside? What the fuck, no really. What the actual fuck.

Your blood boiled on the inside out, just looking at him clouded your mind with all these negative thoughts. You didn’t want it to happen but you couldn’t help it, and since you refused to shed a tear your head was pounding and lips slightly chapped. Hearing his moan made you jump a bit, turning your back to him as you acted sleep. “Y/n?” He whispered, turning enough to look at you and smiled, leaning over to kiss up your arm all the way to your cheek as he took his hand to rub your waist. “Y/n wake up, I wanna make you coffee” he chuckled, biting your ear before kissing it. You opened your eyes and tried best not to laugh, just something about getting caught always made you giggle.

“Hmm?” You let out when he pressed a kiss to your lips, “I wanna make you coffee” you smacked your lips and laid back down “Thomas I’m still tired” lie, you just wanted time to yourself to think about what your gonna do. “Pleaseeeee y/nnnnn!” He shook you and you groaned “fine” he smiled and bit your revealed shoulder making you squeal and try to wiggle him away leaving him laughing at you before he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

“Soooooo” he tried to ease the sudden tension sitting at the table, looking at you drinking the coffee. “Yes?” You looked up at him, placing the mug down. “Uh, I don’t know....just wanted to speak to you ya know?” “Nah I don’t” you shook your head and he furrowed his eyebrows at the mean comment, wondering what went wrong, but he knew better to bother you or else you’d go off the chain. “Zendaya wants to see you” Tom smiled, putting his hands in his lap and rubbing them together while he looked away from you. “Really?” You asked.

It was like a child and their independent, self centering father were talking....the silence loud and the father barely even caring...or at least that’s what it looked like. “Yeah, and so does Jacob, haz, Laura and tony” he cheered up, excited to see you happy. “When?” You grinned as he chuckled, “today, we have to go for lunch” he moved his chair closer to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead before holding your hand. “I love you so much, y/n” it wasn’t the first time he said that, but when he did it sent you unplesant chills as the angel and devil on your shoulders agrued.

‘If he were to love you then he would show you off’ ‘y/n no, he might be scared to’ ‘what is there to be so fücking afraid of, listen to me’ ‘stay positive! You both are gonna get there’ ‘you’ve been dating for multiple months, it’s not even fücking dating it’s like a fling at this point, just a longggg fling-‘

You cut them both out and looked at him “I-I” you choked. “Don’t worry you don’t have to say it, I already know you do” he chuckled.

‘What a cocky bitch’ ‘he just said he loves you!’ ‘He’s laughing at you because you can’t say three simple words’ ‘he’s not pressuring you into doing anything, listen to me!’ ‘You’ve been getting negative signs every single months, it’s time to fucking move on’ ‘just give him another chance! He can change!’ ‘He won’t y/n, he wont’

You didn’t know how to stick to, your angel couldn’t fight anymore because the your devil kept pointing out the larger things and storing up the pot, you chose angel this time and decided to give him one more single chance, after that it’s done. You know your worth.

You smiled up at him and put a kiss to his lips thanking him “it’s no problem princess”

After that whole shannanagin you washed the dishes and took another nap on the couch this time, you wanted to watch Disney+. Tommy woke you up and told you to get ready so you did, just something comfy like sweats and an oversized hoodie with some uggs, he wore jeans and a sweatshirt per usual. “You ready?” He asked watching you when you looked up and nodded, he smile and held his hand out for you to take and you put it there.

‘He’s using you!’ ‘He’s being nice!’

You told your conscious to shut up mentally and then poof they left, the ride was silent and playing some random songs that you couldn’t catch while he tapped his fingers on the wheel.

Once you came in the small quiet restaurant you all sat around the table saying hi to each other, tom sat next to you on the right and on the left was the boys while the rest of the girls sat across from you. Food was ordered and you all were chatting “sooo I see that you two are hanging out a whole bunch...what’s goin on?” Zendaya said. You looked at Thomas “no we aren’t together” he laughed “she’s a friend”

That hit so deep. To deep. You only nodded your head and filled your cheeks with air, Tom looked at you with a smile, his eyes happy too. “Yeah just friends!” You agree, “right” he said after, you released the air in your cheeks and bit the side of your lip. “Cool” Zendaya smiled and looked down at her plate.

Everything was normal for everyone else except you, the small people on your shoulders appearing.

‘I told youuuuu’ ‘y/n I never thought that I could agree with him’ your angel pointed to your devil ‘but I do, whatever needs to come it has to’ the devil perked up to the words, standing and walking to your ear before whispering all the things he’s done.

As you mind cakes up your eyes flare and nostrils perk and jitter, “I have to use the bathroom” you looked at Tom and he only shrugged but noticing the look in your eye he could tell somethings wrong. You stood and walked in the bathroom, your hands shook as you sat ontop of the counter, taking time to yourself to try and calm down but that’s all that you could think about. Trying to be respectful as possible.

Tom pretended to walk inside the men’s bathroom but instead came into the woman’s, seeing you stare at your hands. “Y/n?” He tried to be gentle. “What the fuck do you want, Thomas?” You looked up at him. “What-“ “get out” “tell me what’s wrong” he stepped in and the bathroom door closed by it’s self. “what’s wrong? We aren’t dating so what does that matter? Leave me alone” “I’m not leaving you a fücking lone, you need to get your act together so you can sit down with your fucking friends” he said sternly.

“What am I? Your fucking pet? Child? No the fuck I’m not!” You stood, walking over slowly. “I’ve tried my fücking best to ignore it, to suck it up, to hide it, but you fucking enrage me SO MUCH that I can’t help it!” “Shut up y/n your being to loud” “IM BEING TO LOUD? HERE ILL BE MORE FUCKING QUIETER!” You raised your voice louder.

Everyone’s eyebrows furrowed as they could hear your screams.

As you got closer he backed up more. “Y/n please-“ “what thomas? You dont wanna let everyone know what a fucking bitch you are? The fact that you LIE TO EVERYONE about our relationship”

At this point you were so blinded you didnt notice that you were infront of everyone.

“Why do you hide me away?” You genuinely asked, and suddenlyyou were crashed by a sudden rush of anxiety. “is it because i dont look like your past exes?” He was backed up against the table as you stopped right infront him, your eyes started to water as he didnt reply.

“Y/n i-“ zendaya harrison and jacob looked at tom too, it was clear what the problem was and zendaya was getting kinda mad and was waiting for an answer.

“Thomas” you begged and he had nothing, he said.... nothing.

Tears fell down his cheek as he watched you sniffle and rub your nose, grabbing your bag and running out.

Everyone watched him in silence as he leaned back into the table “excuse me” the lady gently said, tom noticed it wasnt his table so he only walked out of the store and waited outside.

He watched as you pulled out of the car but he didnt even feel like trying to make you come back, you do need to have some time to yourself.

“Fuck” he let out, wondering why he didnt say anything nor do anything. Harrison walked outside and sat next to him.

“Why?” He asked and tom looked at him. “I dont know i just felt like- i felt like my fans were gonna hurt her” “but you did” harrison pointed at tom “you didnt even give a chance and she stuck by your side for how long?” Tom told away and as he speaked he noticed how much of a dick he was......is.

You cried in the bed while you had your things out, getting ready to pack them up as you could barely breathe choking ob your sobs.

What did i do wrong? What did i do to deserve this? Should i change?

All these things running through your head and distracting yourself from putting your stuff up.

You ened up crying your ass off, crying it longer then the months that youve both been together, its all that you could think about honestly.

So when he came home you didn’t even notice your head hurt and your eyes stung, cuddling the pillow while your clothes were on the floor.

He hated seeing you like this, it made him cry and something he couldnt suck up, so when he saw you hurt and hearing your weeps it instantly hit him and made him come over and sit on the end of the bed, uncontrollable tears falling down his cheeks while he let out matching sobs.

You sat up and saw him, your eyes drying as they filled with hatred you stood and walked but tom beat you to the door, shutting it and locking it behind you.

You pointed to the door silently asking him to let you out but he shook his head refusing to. You walked up to him and tried to take his hand to pull him out the way but instead he forced his arms around your neck to hug you.

“Get off of me!” You yelled muffled. “No” he simply said, kissing your head as tears continued falling down his cheeks. “Get off- please get off!” You tried pushing him but he wouldnt budge.

“You can hit me, push me, whatever you want but im not letting you go” he gripped tighter speaking into your hair. “Fuck you” you muttered and he replied with a ‘i know’.

You both sat in silence all day and he was still hugging you but you didnt hug back until you calmed down, sobbing into his chest. “Y/n, you’re the one i want, you’re the one i need. So im begging you please... just dont leave me” he whispered starring at wall, his fingers touching your hair and trying to sooth you.

“Im scared your gonna leave me tom” you look up at him with your chin on his chest. He looker back at you “i cant even think of it, darling” he rubbed away your tears “but why-“ “i was scared” “what is there to be so afraid of?” “My fans are terrible... at least the 12 year olds” he chuckled “im scared they wont see the same beauty i see in my eyes, id rather keep you to myself then share you with this cruel world”

He reached down and kissed your forehead. “But youve been doing it for so long and-“ you sighed “i didnt feel like it was that long, you made me feel like-like you took it away. Like i could spend forever with you and it woukd seem like it was just an hour or so”

You gave him a weak smile and he returned it, reaching to meet his lips you did, the kiss salty from the shared tears but no one was complaining, you both laid in the bed and he cuddled right behind you, while you were sleep he took a picture and posted it with the caption ‘couldnt ever ask for anything better, love you y/n’

After that he shut off his phone and returned to your side and pressed a kiss on your neck before falling asleep, safe and sound.

[virtueangel]

limitless.

chapter two.

wc: 2,337. original publish date: october 3, 2020.

"'And oh, Aunt Em! I'm so glad to be home again!' The end," Van Gogh finishes, closing the children's book and setting it on the table.

"That wasn't a bedtime story!" JFK protests.

"I didn't know that!" Van Gogh volleys.

"What do you mean you didn't know that? Everyone knows The Wizard of Oz!"

Van Gogh shakes his head, almost apologetically. "Clearly not everyone," he mumbles.

Kennedy sits up, a bit taken aback. "You mean you've never read The Wizard of Oz?"

Gogh shakes his head, sliding the book off the table and stroking the cover. The yellow finished cardboard is bumpy beneath his fingernails, and it makes a low scraping sound.

"Surely you've heard of it?" JFK asks, eyebrows furrowing.

"No," Van Gogh admits, feeling defeated.

Kennedy unwraps himself from the blanket and sits up, scooting across the bed to console his best friend. He puts a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder, but it is only shaken off. His kind gesture and caring attitude deflate like a released balloon.

"I thought every children's book was a bedtime story."

"Nah, but every children's story has a moral," JFK offers.

"How do you know that? Can't imagine heartless ol' JFK reading a picture book. I can't even imagine him as  toddler."

Kennedy graciously ignores the first part of Gogh's comment. "My dads used to read them to me when I was a kid."

Van Gogh's smile falls, but thankfully JFK can't see because he's looking down at the book. He runs his fingers over the words, printed in accented letters, shiny and blue. "I bought this book when I was fourteen years old," he admits.

"You bought it for yourself?"

Van Gogh nods, still entranced by the golden-yellow cover of the children's book. "I liked the artwork," he explains, looking up at his best friend now.

Kennedy scoots away from Van Gogh, falsely assuming his work as Supportive Best Friend is through. "You would. It's all oil pastels and shiny objects -- very girly."

Gogh rolls his eyes. "Not all artwork is girly."

"No," JFK agrees, "just the artwork you like."

Van Gogh shoves the boy, not sorry when he hits his head on the wall.

"Hey!" He bellows, rubbing the back of his head vigorously.

"You deserved that," Van Gogh snaps, standing up to slide the book back into its rightful place on the shelf. "Do you ever get tired of your own voice?"

"Um... no?" Kennedy replies, laughing at his own answer.

Van Gogh runs a hand through his vibrant orange hair in exasperation. He snaps the pristine white bandage wrapped around his head, tied there to put pressure on his self-amputated ear in hopes to relieve some of the pain. It works most days, except when there are loud noises -- like on Friday nights when there are sports games and the streets flood with intoxicated teenagers who insist on letting their excitement out through violence. JFK used to be amongst those alcohol-ridden invalids. He's not anymore, but Van Gogh can't figure out why he changed.

But he's still an arrogant, egotistical asshole nonetheless.

Van Gogh scoffs, tempted to shove the boy again, but decides not to because it may escalate into a fight. Gogh would lose. He loses against everyone, his five-foot-five stature doing him not favours. He knows Kennedy could pin him to the ground in three seconds. His shoulders tense just thinking about it and the illusion of pain makes his bad -- or rather, nonexistent -- ear throb. He raises his hand reflexively, rubbing the side of his head over the bandage.

"Does it hurt?" JFK asks, suddenly dropping his macho-jock façade.

Van Gogh bats his best friend's hand away almost instinctively. "I'm fine. Sorry. It just rings sometimes. No big deal."

"Sounds like a big deal."

"Well it's not, okay? I said I'm fine, so I'm fine," Gogh replies.

JFK holds his hands up in surrender. "Jesus Christ, I was only trying to help."

"I appreciate that," Van Gogh sighs. He looks up at Kennedy and opens his mouth like he has a follow-up, but nothing comes out. He closes his mouth and looks away. JFK raises an eyebrow, having noticed the boy's jaw, but doesn't press. He wouldn't want to push his best friend over the edge. God knows he's already so close to the cusp of a fall anyway.

"Your parents coming home soon?" Kennedy asks, reaching for small talk.

Gogh shrugs, eyes fixed on his shoes. He wears black Keds with white toe-tips. The laces are tied in tight bows and are as pristinely white as all of his other possessions -- he'd expect no less from himself. "Who cares?"

"You can't stay here alone on a Friday night," Kennedy says.

"That's why you're here, dipshit," Van Gogh rolls his eyes.

"No, I mean-" JFK sighs. "The whole night. You can't sleep in this house all by yourself."

"Why not?" Gogh asks, looking up at JFK now. The rims of his eyes are red and his jaw is tensed.

JFK huffs, sure the boy is just being difficult now. "Because."

"Because why? Adults do it all the time."

"You're not an adult, Gogh. You're sixteen."

"So?" He spits. "You're sixteen and your dads let you do whatever -- whomever -- the hell you please!"

"This isn't about me, Van Gogh, it's about you and your apparent abandonment issues!"

"I don't have abandonment issues!" He means it to come as an angry denial, but it comes out as a scared protest instead. He tries again, steadying his voice. "I don't have abandonment issues."

JFK shakes his head and raises himself off the bed. "I don't have time for this. Do you want me here or not?"

Van Gogh pulls his socked feet onto the chair and crosses his arms over his chest. His absence of an ear throbs again and it skews his hearing, but he doesn't let on. He's so tired of this up and down with JFK -- they fight, Gogh falls into a vulnerable state, Kennedy drops the argument to console him, Gogh says he's fine, and the cycle repeats. Either they're fighting or they're not. I can't be held hostage by my mental illness, Gogh thinks. I won't be made into a fool.

"Not," he swallows the word, his voice nearly cracking.

"Gogh..." Kennedy says, dropping his attitude.

Gogh wipes at his face, trying to play it off as swiping away mucus from a cold-caused runny nose. "I'll be okay, Kennedy."

Kennedy stands in the doorway, one hand on the smooth white trim -- as pristine as the rest of the room -- and the other hand limp by his side. He turns around to look at Van Gogh, who won't meet his gaze, and thinks of crossing the room to him. He looks so small on that wooden chair, his plain bed made up with hospital corners and brand-new-car-tidy floor filling up with absence. JFK wants to stay with his best friend to make the room feel smaller, to make the house feel fuller, but he knows when to stop pushing. Sometimes it hurts to be edged out of Van Gogh's life... but then again, he's used to it. He's used to being treated as the boy's second choice because sometimes it's easier to confide in a stranger than a lifelong friend. Kennedy doesn't know, but he understands, and sometimes that has to be good enough.

JFK drops his hand from the trim of the doorway and turns back around to face the hallway. He walks between the walls as they close in on him, creating a suffocating ocean with their murky blue hue. He exits the house without glancing back at Van Gogh, forgetting to wonder if he'll be okay. He hates sports games because they make his ears ring, Kennedy reminds himself. Being there won't stop that.

***

John F. Kennedy walks through the door of his house at precisely 8:32pm. His foster dads are both sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket with each other, watching a movie that must be pretty damn entertaining with the way they keep giggling. John hates it when people giggle -- the sound reminds him of butterflies, light and airy and so fragile it can't help but be crushed. "Giggle" is a gross word, too. It's made up of all the letters that no one likes to read to form sounds that no one wants to hear. Well, actually, that's not true -- plenty of people like the letters; they're just too predictably common for JFK to enjoy.

"Dads, I'm home," John announces halfheartedly. His parents are so absorbed in the television show that they barely look up -- maybe that's for the best. Arguing with Van Gogh never leaves Kennedy in a very chipper mood.

He sulks up the stairs to his bedroom, gripping the wooden railing firmly in his ascent. He tries to make a point of stomping just so his dads will turn his way -- he's not in the mood for talking, but he's accustomed to demanding attention.

John flops down on his bed -- it's king-size which means it takes up the majority of the room, but Exclamation!'s biggest playboy has got to decorate his bedroom for the aesthetic somehow. Kennedy's phone buzzes and when the screen illuminates with the name Cleo printed in thin white letters, he almost smiles, but remembers he's still blowing her off. He can't figure out why; most nights he would be ecstatic to whisper sweet little nothings in her ear. He starts to feel bad about ignoring her, but then remembers that she isn't his girlfriend -- he doesn't owe her anything. And even if he did, everyone's expectations of him are so low that even the bare minimum is seen as a prayer answered by god themselves.

He means to only flip his phone over to hide the screen, but he accidentally pushes it off the edge of the bed. It bounces on the carpet, landing corner-first, but JFK is too tired to care about whether or not the screen is cracked. He rolls over onto his back, folding his arms over his stomach and staring at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused. His head starts to rush -- possibly from the cold air intruding his bedroom from the open window, or more likely from emotional strain. He replays through the day, memories of Cleo's hand grasping his bicep and him leaving her alone to go help Van Gogh. Everyone always wants a piece of John F. Kennedy. He never meets anyone's expectations, and yet, everyone religiously seeks his approval.

"Fuck them for relying on me as their source of entertainment," he mutters up at the ceiling. "I wish no one in this goddamn town knew me at all."

And yet, there's still one person exempt from the statement. Sure, everyone in Exclamation! is mushy-headed and smooth-brained, but going to high school here is a pit stop in JFK's life, and a vital one. Because while 99.8% of the Clone High student body give Kennedy a stomachache, there's still 0.2% to be taken out of the perfect whole.

JFK rolls -- no, literally rolls -- off of his king mattress to reunite himself with his phone. He taps the screen, lighting the machine to life. He slides away the "missed call" notification, erasing Cleo's name from his home screen. He unlocks the device and taps on a contact, which speed dials a certain someone wallowing in their room on the other side of town.

The phone goes to voicemail once, twice, but Kennedy doesn't give up. He knows the boy is receiving his calls -- it's not like he wants to be alone on a Friday night.

But then again, he might be drawing or painting or reading a book or doing homework or-

Van Gogh picks up on the second ring of the third call. "Leave me alone, JFK. I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

The line goes silent as Van Gogh fishes for an answer. He comes up short. "Look, I told you to leave because you upset me-"

"Let's go on a trip," Kennedy suggests, intentionally cutting off his best friend to avoid an uncomfortable conversation that would probably result in tears, yelling, or both.

"What?"

"Let's leave Exclamation!. I'm tired of it here, and I know you're not too crazy about it either."

The line goes silent again as Van Gogh hesitates. "Kennedy, that's absurd."

"How do you figure? It's not like your parents would miss you," he replies without realising how it sounds.

Thankfully, Van Gogh doesn't comment on it. If he's hurt by his best friend's words, he doesn't let on. "But we have school..."

"I don't care about school."

"But I do," he says, icicles freezing over his voice.

"Please, Gogh? I need a break from it all."

"What do you need a break from? You're everyone's favourite jock. Scudworth loves you. You're somehow pulling straight As even though you never do your work... I'm betting you're banging one or all of your teachers."

"I am not banging all of my teachers!" Kennedy exclaims defensively.

Van Gogh smirks through the phone. "But you are banging one."

JFK shakes off the boy's words. How does the point always manage to get away from him? "I know you're unhappy, Van Gogh."

"That's an understatement," he scoffs.

"Right. Well, don't you want to explore the world?"

Van Gogh doesn't respond.

"Draw? Read? Write?"

JFK still isn't selling him.

"Paint?" Kennedy tries one last futile hope.

Gogh's ears -- ear -- perks up. "Paint the whole world?"

"Well, we'd only be visiting a little at a time-"

"Okay," he replies too hastily, cutting off his friend. He swallows, running a hand through his hair to smooth it down as if the boy can see him through the phone. His fingers snag on the bandage again. He gives up. "Okay. Let's go on a road trip."

"You mean it?"

"Sure." Van Gogh can hear Kennedy smiling through the phone, his expression melting like honey and dripping down the line. "Why the hell not?"

[fictionplumis]

A Lambert/Aiden Thing

Okay, bear with me here, this might be long. And maybe at one point I'm gonna try to RP this but unfortunately there's no one on the Lambert/Aiden RP tags on the site I use. So I'm just gonna put this here for now. And if anyone wants to, oh I don't know, write a fic or whatever based on this, PLEASE link me 'cause I wanna read it but anyway. 

Set after the Wild Hunt, one of those rare AUs where Aiden genuinely did not survive.

While traveling together as super cool witchers, Geralt ends up telling Ciri all about helping Lambert get revenge for his Cat friend, right? 

Time passes, and Ciri starts trying to really solidify her control with her ability. Geralt ends up spending more and more time at Corvo Bianco and Ciri is out on the Path, but every so often a girl needs a break, y'know? So sometimes she'll disappear for a couple days, maybe a few weeks, just off in another world. It's a good way to practice. 

In one world, she ends up running into this man named Aiden. (This world being our world. Not a modern Continent thing, not some point in the future, I mean OUR world.) They talk, and he ends up mentioning his roommate Lambert, and the more he says about Lambert, the more it becomes obvious that it's LAMBERT. 

Now Ciri has absolutely no intention of doing anything about this. It's not her place, telling Lambert would be an AWFUL idea, and going to meet that world's version of her uncle just seems like a bad idea. But she is curious about what kind of man can inspire such a strong sense of friendship in Lambert, so she decides to pop into that world every so often, "accidentally" find Aiden, and just kind of get to know him a little bit. Plus it's another way to practice her abilities, not just pin-pointing and traveling to a specific world, but to where a specific person is. 

She does that on and off a few times, enough where her and Aiden are sort of acquaintances. 

Now in this world Aiden isn't a saint, okay? This boy pretty much grew up on the streets. He has a past that he's trying to get away from. He knows his way around a knife fight, has ample experience running from the cops, and has been through so much therapy. (I don’t get into detail here but any kind of modern Aiden I usually have some kind of neurotypical. Might be something as simple as ADHD, though I do love bipolar!Aiden and psychotic!Aiden as well. I’d imagine at this point he’s good at managing it, with the help of therapy and medication. Now the therapy wouldn’t be all that accessible with where this is going, but Ciri could help him make sure he has his medications. Hell, if wanted to have him keep things consistent with his therapy too, he could move down to appointments maybe once a month and Ciri could make sure he could get to them, the same way she helps attain other things later on in this snippet. I absolutely support positive and accurate depictions of mental illness, I’m not just using the terms bipolar or psychotic lightly.) And unfortunately his past ends up catching up with him. 

Ciri happens to get there just in time. Before Aiden can end up with a bullet in his eye, she's teleporting him to the first safe place that comes to her mind: Corvo Bianca.

Now poor Aiden has no fucking idea what happened. One second his old "friends" have him backed into a corner with a gun to his face and the next he's experiencing the worst motion sickness of his life and throwing up in a pot that smells like shit. He spends the next two days sleeping off some major jet lag and when he comes to, he had no fucking idea where he is. 

Then comes Geralt and Ciri having to awkwardly explain the whole witcher thing to him, the Continent in general, the time period, the fact that monsters and sorceresses and magic exists in this world, all that happy shit. And it's a lot to process. Before they can even get to the whole "do you want to go back to your world and handle the deal with people trying to kill you thing" Lambert shows up. 

At first Aiden doesn't even think, he's just like oh thank fuck a familiar face, I know you hate hugs but I think this can be forgiven because I've had the weirdest most stressful week of my life.

And then he's like, wait a second. Lambert is... Thicker. 

Like Lambert's always been a very physically active guy, he's a mechanic or whatever you want a modern day Lambert to do, but his shoulders weren't THAT broad before and under those spiky metal arm things are some impressive biceps. Also what are those spiky metal arm things? Lambert, what are you wearing? How the fuck did you get here? Holy shit your eyes--

He puts two and two together. Right, the name Geralt sounded familiar because Lambert's mentioned the name. That's his adopted brother. So if this Geralt is a witcher, then Lambert in this world is a witcher. And Lambert is also having a minor breakdown because, y'know, AIDEN. 

Let's just say Geralt warned him. Explained the whole situation and asked Lambert to come back to help with this, and Lambert was very torn because it's not HIS Aiden. It'll hurt too much, to see someone so much like Aiden but just slightly to the left. He knew it would. He just didn’t expect this Aiden to be SO MUCH like his Aiden. By this point Aiden has had to change his clothes into some of Geralt's trousers with a belt to hold them up and a loose tunic, but it's fucking him. 

They all talk a bit. Aiden pretty much admits that yeah, there are people after him. And they probably won't stop until he's dead. That's how gangs work, y'know? You can't really... Get out. He tried, he really fucking did, but even if it's not the ones that cornered him before, it'll be someone else. So yeah, Ciri saved his life and going back is probably not the best idea. 

Now I absolutely don't want to fuck over another world's Lambert just to make Continent!Lambert happy, so we're gonna say the two were really good friends. They were roommates, they were close, Lambert was pretty much Aiden's only friend, but they weren't lovers. Lambert was with a woman named Keira. A doctor. They were good for each other, y'know? When Lambert first started dating her, Aiden thought she was kind of a bitch but as time went on she kind of mellowed out. It wasn't that she became less full of herself, but more that she actually felt confident enough that she didn't feel the need to try to take on the world anymore. And Lambert's happy with her. So leaving Lambert behind in that world kind of sucks, yeah, but he'll be okay. And this Lambert is so similar that to Aiden, it doesn't feel like he's losing someone. 

Now we have Aiden getting to experience the Continent for the first time. Getting to experience witchers for the first time. 

Lambert. Sword fighting. 

And that's so fucking cool. Can you please teach me that?

Which of course has Lambert a little iffy, because this Aiden is human and no fucking away is he letting this Aiden anywhere near a monster, but Aiden is like, nah, relax, I just want to learn because sword fighting is really cool. Look, I'm really good with a knife, teach me some cool sword stuff. 

So Lambert gets to teach Aiden some cool sword stuff. And how to make bombs, which Aiden LOVES. And maybe some alchemy, too, because Aiden asks about the potions and Lambert is very adamant that he never drinks any but Aiden likes at least knowing how to make them. It's fascinating. You all fucking know you would love to make potions out of gross monster parts and herbs if you had the chance, don't even lie. Lambert even shows off some signs and Aiden is delighted. 

This eventually leads to one of those serious conversations about what it takes to become a witcher, and what all Lambert went through, and how people view witchers. And Aiden gets it, maybe not completely, but he gets the just of it. Because he knows about the other Lambert's past, and his shitty father, and all that stuff. And Aiden's brown, and people don't like that. And he's gay, and people don't like that either. Lambert's whole thing kind of reminds him of the X-men. 

And Lambert doesn't know what the fuck that is so Aiden explains comics and superheroes and the X-men to him. 

Because in his world they don't have witchers or magic, so they make up stories that have people like witchers, that have magic, and in those stories, those people sometimes face very similar prejudices. So to Aiden, Lambert is a lot like a superhero. 

And Lambert's like uh huh, no way, definitely not any kind of hero, that's pretty boy's job. 

To which Aiden responds, no, I definitely think you're a hero, even if you don't, so suck it up. 

And they probably kiss and stuff. 

Eventually Aiden gets restless and he's curious about the rest of the Continent, and he's tired of wearing Geralt's ill-fitting clothes because he's used to skinny jeans and shit so he gets Lambert to take him into Beauclaire for clothes. 

And Beauclaire is fucking beautiful, he loves it. 

The clothes are okay. Eventually he just asks Lambert what he used to wear and they go see the armorer instead. Aiden's not entirely sure about it, because Lambert looks like he's swallowed a mouthful of tacks when he sees Aiden in the Cat armor, even without the chest piece or the gauntlets, but Lambert assures him that he's fine. 

It just doesn't quite ease the restlessness. So the next time Ciri pops in, Aiden asks for her help and together they scheme. The next day, Aiden tells Lambert to go find something to entertain himself with for awhile because he needs to spend some quality time with his BFF. 

A few hours later they find Lambert sulking out in the vineyard, Aiden looking fine and fresh in a brand new pair of skinny jeans that show off his very nice ass, and some well-fitting combat boots that aren't nearly as durable as actual leather boots on the Continent but they have studs and buckles and look really cool.

Lambert is torn between thinking Aiden looks like a fucking idiot and thinking that he's never wanted to fuck Aiden more in his life.

Then Aiden drops the news that he also put together an outfit for Lambert because in his world, when you're interested in courting someone, the first thing you do is take them on a date. And he wants to take Lambert on the most stereotypical first date. What's that? Why the movies, of course! There's an X-men movie that just came out (I don't know which one, okay? I don't watch the X-men. You figure it out.) and he thought, maybe, he could show Lambert a little bit of the world he came from. They wouldn't be there for long, and they wouldn't be going to a theater anywhere near where Aiden's old gang would be. Nothing would be tied to Aiden's name, and he would be with Lambert, so he would be safe. 

It's a big change from the Continent. 

Lambert's never seen so many fucking people in his LIFE. Aiden had warned him about cars and technology and Lambert is pretty quick witted so while he's absolutely amazed, he manages to take it in stride pretty well. The thing that throws him off the most is when they go to buy popcorn and the girl at the counter goes, "Oh my god, I love your contacts! Where did you get them? They look so real!" 

Lambert doesn't know what the fuck contacts are, but Aiden steps in all smooth-like, "Fuck, Lamb, you've had those forever, haven't you? I think he got 'em off some cosplay site." 

Then he has to explain later that sometimes people put these little discs in their eye to help them see better or to change the color of their eyes for costume purposes. To which Lambert has the understandable reaction of, "Who in their right fucking mind would CHOOSE to do this to their fucking eyes?" 

Well, y'know, they can take contacts out whenever they want. It's a cosmetic thing. They don't know what you had to go through to get your eyes to look like that. You'll probably have some old conservative people eyeing you weird, thinking you're some Satanist or whatever, but most other people will just think it's a cool choice you made, to put those in to go to the movies.

The world is weird. Lambert can't decide if he likes it or hates it. 

He definitely likes the movie, though. And the popcorn. Probably finds the soda to be a little too sweet for his taste. There's still a lot of people, which makes him a bit on edge, but they came to the theater at an off time and not many people are actually in the room with them. They sit at the back and hold hands and Lambert decides he loves it. Ciri picks them up like a proud parent driving her kid and her kid's date home, only instead of driving she's teleporting and neither of them are her kids but whatever. 

But Aiden isn't done scheming. When they get back he tells Lambert to stay put and gets Ciri to take him back for one more little errand. 

A couple hours later they clang back into Corvo Bianco. CLANG back because each of them has a weird metal cart piled high with items and they're laughing their asses off. 

So you might be wondering, how did Ciri and Aiden afford clothes? They stole them. How did Aiden afford movie tickets and popcorn? He pick pocketed. Boy grew up on the streets. He knows how to steal wallets. And now they performed the greatest "run out the doors of Walmart with carts full of shit" EVER. Because as soon as they were out of sight, they teleported, no one the wiser. 

Aiden is thrilled with his non-purchases. Firstly, he has about a year's worth of toilet paper. he throws a package at Lambert, who's like, what the fuck is this. Toilet paper. What do you use it for? To wipe your ass after you shit, Lambert. Trust me. Once you use it, you'll never go back. It's a blessing, you'll thank me for it. There might not be indoor plumbing here, but god dammit, I want toilet paper.

He then hands Ciri two boxes of pads. Yeah, she was there shopping with him, but he just kind of dumped stuff in carts without explaining anything, and while Ciri knows what most of the things are, do you really think she's thought about how other worlds deal with menstruation? Because I menstruate, and the thought would genuinely not cross my mind. I would continue using whatever method I used back in my original world. So Aiden leans in to whisper what they are, because he's polite, and he becomes her favorite uncle just like that. And when Geralt and Lambert are like, uh, what? She tells them it's for menstruating and, "Oh, don't make that face at me, Geralt. I bleed, it happens."

Aiden admits that most of the other purchases are for Lambert, and when Lambert tires to protest Aiden makes it very clear that everything he bought is NORMAL in his world. Not even luxury, just NORMAL, so Lambert just needs to shut up and let Aiden make his life a little easier. 

First up, sunglasses. Because Lambert mentioned how painful it can be to take Cat and then step out into sunlight before the potion has run out. He tosses a pair at Lambert, who tries them on with a frown and is like, "Oh. Huh. Alright. These might actually be pretty useful." Aiden got himself a pair too. They match. There's also a tent. It folds up pretty small, but witchers travel, right? And Lambert mentioned how shit it is to camp in the rain, so here's a tent that’s better than the shit you can buy on the Continent. You lay out your bedroll in it, and you don't have to worry about bugs, and it helps protect you against the weather. It's small, but it looks kind of easy to put up, should be durable enough. 

And maybe just big enough for two, because Aiden isn't stupid. Eventually Lambert will need to take to the Path again, and Aiden wants to comes too. He wants to see the Continent. He can't help with the monsters, he knows, but maybe he can do something else to help them earn money. Who knows, right? This world isn't run by capitalism. He could make a living doing nearly anything. He can figure something out. 

He even got a water filter, and a couple filter replacements because witchers can probably drink any kind of stagnant water they want but he would rather not die of dysentery, thanks. And he got himself a sleeping bag. And he got Lambert a very, very soft fleece blanket just because he thought Lambert would like it. (He does.) Oh, also, Lambert, smell this soap. And this shampoo. Using a bar of soap has not done Aiden's hair any favors, he got actual fucking shampoo. The BIG bottle. And now Lambert has some nice pomade to use in his hair instead of bear fat. Won't make his hair greasy plus it smells better. Also there's bubble bath, just because. And beard oil for Lambert. Some moisturizer. Here, Lambert, put on some chap stick. Trust me, you'll love it. 

They set out on the Path and it's not always easy because Aiden worries CONSTANTLY. But Lambert is good at what he does. The few times they're ambushed, Lambert always keeps Aiden safe, because in this household everyone fucking survives. 

Aiden likes seeing Lambert in action. He swoons and calls Lambert his hero. 

There are some stunning places to visit on the Continent. Aiden's favorite are the elven ruins they sometimes come across. Only after Lambert deals with the wraiths, though. 

Aiden learns how to play Gwent. He's not that good at it. Aiden learns how to cheat at Gwent. He's VERY good at it. Lambert teaches him how to fish with bombs. Aiden is fucking delighted. 

Eventually he realizes how he can make money. He copywrites Disney. 

He's no bard. He can't sing or play an instrument. But he CAN tell stories, and no matter how much you hate Disney, there are probably a lot of Disney movies everyone can quote by heart, and they're either already time-period approved, or they can easily be adapted into something time period approved. Lambert comes back from a hunt to find the entire tavern listening to Aiden with rapt attention while he's in the front of the room putting on a one man performance of the whole, "I am Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die," while jumping back and forth to play each part. He's clearly having a blast with it, because who doesn't love telling other people every little detail about their favorite movie? 

As he's heading upstairs with Lambert, he just keeps raving about how he can't believe he actually made money with that. He hands Lambert a handful of coins, just like, "I don't know how much money this is, but look, it's money!"

Which probably leads to some conversation about capitalism and how easy it was in his world to feel insignificant, to feel like everything is pointless, and how much happier he is with Lambert. How it's even given him a new outlook on the world he came from. He doesn't want to go back, per se, but he doesn't want to completely leave either. He wants to show Lambert the best parts of it, to re-experience his world through Lambert, to really feel the amazement of it all the way he's supposed to, the way that's so easy to stop doing when you're actually living there. It's so easy to take it all for granted, but when you're showing it to someone who's experiencing it for the first time, you can really appreciate it all. 

So every winter they head back to Toussaint and Ciri takes them back long enough for them to do something FUN. They play laser tag. They rope Geralt, Eskel, and Ciri into doing an escape room with them. They go kayaking. They do one of those rope courses and zip-line things. They go to an amusement park. A water park. They walk around a nature trail. They go to a comic convention. (Lambert wears his armor and so many people want pictures with him. He's just sad Aiden wouldn't let him bring his swords, the kids would have fucking loved to see a sword.) They have so much fun. And Aiden stocks up on modern supplies for the year while he's there. Another year's worth of toilet paper, a new tent, another fuzzy blanket, a few pairs of sunglasses because Lambert always ends up breaking his, a nice backpack because Lambert really likes having a bunch of different pockets in his bag for organizing things.

And you know what? Give it ten years, Aiden's bordering on his forties, and he finds some way to make himself functionally immortal. Magic, fairies, a curse, a blessing, I don't know, I don't care. Their plan becomes to live until one of them dies of something--probably Lambert, because he's the one Aiden always has to patch up (he now always buys a very large, well stocked first-aid kit from his world too) what with fighting monsters and all, and the other will follow. It's morbid, sure, but it works for them. With the way things are going, neither of them thinks they'll need to do that anytime soon anyway.

Basically, they live happily ever after, okay? 

HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

[asphyxiateher]

Only Monsters Come Out at Night

Chapter 5: I’ll Tell You My Sins So You Can Sharpen Your Knife

Summary: Desdemona is slowly losing herself but survival is still critical, especially when she must spend time with Daniela alone. A/N: Thank you all for the support, I’ve been busy with work but this story in my head needs to be written so I can get it out of my system. lol I’ll polish and edit this when I can. :) 

           To say the previous night was eventful would be an understatement but to Cassandra’s credit, she did not push for more than what Desdemona was willing to give. Now, Desdemona wasn’t saying that Cassandra was gentle or pleasant when she declined engaging in more intimate activities, but Cassandra understood the meaning of “no” and backed off in exchange for learning more about Desdemona. The smaller girl thought she was being clever by saying she would only get physical with her if they took the time to get to know each other better first and she was surprised when Cassandra reluctantly agreed. Des introduced Cassandra to the laptop she had brought with her on their trip and the woman was in absolute awe of the power of modern-day technology. She had begun explaining about what movies were and what she currently had downloaded onto her pc when Cassandra astonished Desdemona with a personal question.

“What brought you all the way out here in the first place anyway, Little One? Don’t get me wrong, you’re the most fascinating group of visitors we’ve had in such a long time, but for a pretty face like you to be stranded out here on your own with me? Seems foolish.” Cassandra asked as she lay on the bed next to Desdemona who suddenly snapped her laptop shut.

“Desmond and I graduated from college and we had money saved up to go embark on what was supposed to be a memorable adventure. I’ve always been into horror and science fiction movies as well as novels and comic books so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to tour the castle that inspired Bram Stoker’s Dracula, one of my favorite classics. Look how well that turned out.” Desdemona says bitterly, nervously fiddling with her fingers.

Cassandra attempted to reach out and wrap her fingers around Desdemona’s hand, but she became hesitant and pulled back instead as if she were unsure if the gesture would be welcome.

“Your brother is dead. That is something we cannot undo but I understand your anger. Bela and Daniela are trying at times, but I do love them more than anything really. I have the power to kill at will and I will not falter should anything happen to my dear sisters. You, on the other hand, are persevering in a way that’s admirable, Desdemona. You are innocent and you want to survive. You are stronger for that more than you’ll ever know.” Cassandra tells her quietly, her teeth wedged between her lips as though she may have said too much to her human plaything.

Desdemona was taken aback by what Cassandra had said and it must have shown on her face because Cassandra suddenly looked irritated with how deep the conversation was going.

“If you are not going to allow me the pleasures of your flesh, then allow me to drink from you as I’m quite parched!” She snarled before she pounced on top of Desdemona, her razor-sharp teeth flashing dangerously. One minute, she’s howling in pain the moment Cassandra pierces through her skin and begins drinking her blood and the very next, she passes out from the blood loss while still laying underneath the ill-tempered vampire. She sleeps for a few hours, only stirring awake when she feels a comfortable presence beside her. She groggily opens her eyes only to find Veronica staring at her, concern clearly etched on her face.

“Shh, shh hey, you’re okay now, Dezzy. C’mere, let me take a look at you. You were tossing and turning the whole time after they brought you back down here. I don’t know what they did to you, but we can switch places if you’d like. I think Lady Dimitrescu might take a liking to you.” Veronica says jokingly as she runs shaky fingers through Desdemona’s tangled locks.

Desdemona sighs at the contact and smiles at her best friend’s attempt to soothe her.

“That’s funny, V. Not sure I fancy calling my dentist and canceling all future appointments ‘cause I found a titan of woman with big tits to pull all my teeth for me. Nah, I think I’ll stick to reluctantly donating my blood to three horny vampire women, thank you very much.” Desdemona scoffs out a laugh when Veronica playfully swats at her arm.

“Fuck off, it was only a few teeth and yeah, that crazy bitch has got fists the size of hams so of course she can knock them straight out of me!” Veronica exclaimed. “Ugh. I’ll be honest though Des, I’m scared. Not for me ‘cause I know what’s coming if I keep putting up a fight, but I’m scared for you.” She continues, her voice now a whisper as she lays down on the cold hard stone floor and placing her hand on top of Desdemona’s.

“I’m scared for both of us. Why aren’t you more worried about you?” Desdemona squeezes her best friend’s hand and rests her head against Veronica’s shoulder.

 “You’re being forced to entertain three vampires who could bleed you dry the way Elizabeth Bathory did her victims. The way they manhandle you and take occasional sips from you is fucking horrific! I don’t understand how you’re not freaking out over it.” Veronica licks her chapped lips and glances back at Desdemona. “These could be our very last moments alive together. I need you to promise me that you will look for weaknesses that we can use against them. Fight for your right to live, babes, fight for Desmond the way he would have wanted us to. We can’t keep taking what they’re giving us, it will kill us.”

Deep down, Desdemona knew her best friend was right but how could she expect her to put up a fight against three undead creatures that can transform into a massive ball of insects at any given time? She felt so helpless and utterly alone in the way that made her feel insignificant next to her best friend. Veronica was fearless in the face of death and Desdemona felt like a coward. She wanted to survive this ordeal so badly, she practically groveled in submission to be spared from any form of punishment and observing the bruises and cuts along on V’s skin, she felt so incredibly guilty for not putting up a hard enough fight.

 “V, I don’t know how to explain it. I want to get out of here as much as you do, but as soon as my mind tells me to do something logical, I do the exact opposite. It’s like I do not want any of Alcina’s daughters to hate me, so I go out of my way to please them. It’s driving me crazy, and I don’t know if I’m just weak willed when it comes to them but fuck it…I just don’t want to die.” Desdemona admits, turning her head to face Veronica who meets her gaze at the same time.

 “Nothing wrong with wanting to live a little longer but don’t throw away your dignity for these monsters who don’t give a flying fuck about you. From what the countess herself has said about her daughters is that they entertain whatever pretty little maiden comes their way for a minute before they get bored and eat their corpse when they’re done. Don’t let them belittle you, use you, and kill you when you’re worth more than you’ll ever know.” Veronica tells her before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Feeling renewed, Desdemona continues to enjoy the few moments of peace with her best friend before they hear the dreaded sound of heels clicking in the dungeon.

“Well, cur, you know what it’s time for and you’ll be delighted to know I have so many wonderful things to show you. Get up, and brace yourself because after this, I guarantee you that you will not be the same after today.” Alcina declares as she unlocks the chamber door to their room.

Veronica grudgingly sits up and sighs, squeezing Desdemona’s hands one last time before standing. “Alcina, what a lovely surprise. I was just beginning to miss you, my lady. Oh, how I’ve been withering away down here knowing that I’ve gone a day without a beating. Thank you oh so much for finally blessing us with your presence.” Veronica says with a smirk only for it to be smacked off her face a second later.

“Silence, heathen! You will speak only when spoken to. For now, you will only be required to observe and shadow a maiden I no longer have use for. As for you, Desdemona, Daniela will be waiting in the library. Do not keep her waiting, dear.” Alcina says ominously, a chill running down Desdemona’s spine at the mere mention of her youngest daughter’s name.

Veronica casts her a fleeting sympathetic look before they both follow Lady Dimitrescu out of the cellar. Once they had gone their separate ways, Desdemona’s anxiety climbed to seemingly immeasurable heights. She came out of her previous encounters with lady Dimitrescu’s other daughters alive so that was good, but what of Daniela? She already gave off the impression that she was delusional and violent when provoked so Desdemona’s chance of survival at this rate was questionable at best.

When Desdemona arrived in front of the entrance to the library, she took a few deep breaths to calm herself. After a few more minutes of contemplating whether she should enter Daniela’s realm, she makes up her mind and crosses the threshold. Her jaw drops at the magnificent sight behold her. She’s in a vast circular room that is surrounded by sumptuous bookshelves and brilliant décor that has her almost envying the fact that this space belonged to someone like Daniela.

“Are you looking for me, darling? Come play with me, I’ll let you live in the meantime.” A shrill voice from behind one of the bookcases catches Desdemona off guard and she nearly trips over herself when she turns to find Daniela quickly approaching her.

“H-hi Daniela, I came to s-see you. How are you doing?” Desdemona asks as she continues to back away from the dangerous woman staring at her with the unmistakable look of hunger in her eyes. Daniela laughs uncontrollably and covers her mouth when she’s done. The red headed woman gives Desdemona an agonizingly slow once-over and licks her lips as though she were feeling ravenous at the sight.

“You’re so sweet to ask. You must have fallen hard for me, but you shouldn’t be surprised; everyone falls for me in time.” Daniela says in an almost sickeningly sweet voice. ‘Ok, so this fucking lunatic thinks you’re in love with her. Good, maybe she’d be less inclined to kill you.’ Desdemona thinks to herself, her back now pressed against a polished marble column.

“Y-yeah, I wanted to see you but only if you weren’t busy. I just thought you could use some company.” Des replies. This pleases Daniela immensely, so she takes a step closer to inhale the other girl’s scent. She was terrified and her blood smelled so delicious because of it. She needed to taste her, absorb everything that was Desdemona and revel in the symphony of her screams when she was done with her.

 “I could always use company, especially yours, my love. A few moments ago, I would have been just fine snuggling by the fireplace and having you read with me. Now that you’re here smelling quite tasty, there’s something else I want.” She says with a giggle before instantly making moves so that she was now only a few inches apart from Desdemona’s face.

Desdemona gasps when Daniela reveals her hidden sickle and suddenly tears a long cut through her shirt and pants. Moaning in ecstasy, Daniela begins to pick apart her torn clothing and caresses the smooth expanse of skin that was exposed to her. Desdemona shuts her eyes and turns her head to the side when the other woman lunges at her with an open mouth.

“Ugh, why are you rejecting me? Don’t you love me? Apologize at once and I’ll forgive you. Everybody makes mistakes.” Daniela whispers in a low, threatening tone. Desdemona feels tears begin to form when Daniela lowers her head and begins to suck and gently nibble on her neck. Veronica’s words come to mind about not putting up with whatever form of abuse they were going to give and she tries to summon every ounce of bravery she could muster. She pushes hard against Daniela and frees herself from her grasp. She twists and begins running in the other direction, not looking back at the crazed woman shrieking at her.

“Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me!” Desdemona was about to reach the doorway that led out of the library when a massive ball of insects appeared before her. She wasn’t able to react quickly enough so when she tried to turn again, she felt Daniela pounce on her from behind, tackling her to the floor. There was no use struggling against the immortal creature that perched herself on top of her so when Daniela forcefully flipped her onto her back, Desdemona saw her life flash before her eyes the moment Daniela raised her sickle, as if she were ready to swing at her. The logical part of her brain wanted this to end quickly, to spare herself from further embarrassment every time she pleaded for her life. But then there were dark whispers from an unknown entity, her broken survival instincts or those pesky intrusive thoughts perhaps, that were telling her to kiss Daniela in order to calm her down. She doesn’t know why or how it makes perfect sense but it does; Desdemona could either choose to die on her own terms or she could appease this goddess before her and worship her.

‘Where the hell are those thoughts coming from and why do I have a sudden urge to kiss Daniela? Gods help me.’ The frantic thoughts are the last to cross her mind as Desdemona leans up and yanks Daniela close to her level by her pendant.

Daniela’s eyes widen in surprise when she feels Desdemona’s lips press themselves against hers. After a few tense moments of not receiving the response she was hoping for, Desdemona begins pulling away but then she’s pulled back into a more frenzied, intense kiss. Daniela sighs against her mouth, her sickle dropping and causing the sound of metal clanging against the floor to echo in the room. When the need for air becomes too great for the smaller girl, she gently breaks the kiss and Daniela is suddenly looking at her with hooded eyes, desire visible in those beautiful golden hued orbs of hers. “Why did you run away from me? I hate it when my pretty playthings run away from me.” Daniela asks softly, the delicate tone in her voice surprising the both of them.

Desdemona’s voice wavers when she speaks, but she steadies herself by cautiously wrapping an arm around Daniela’s neck. She doesn’t know why she’s actively reaching out to touch the dangerous red-headed woman, she can’t explain why she’s craving for more contact, but she does and it’s scary as hell. “B-because I don’t want my f-first time with anyone to be meaningless. I’ve n-never gotten this close with anyone before and…I want it to be special. Call me old fashioned, but I’d rather you slit my throat right now before I give myself to you. I need to know you on a deeper level.” Desdemona’s cheeks are flushed a deep crimson color as she admits this, not knowing why she’s opening herself up like this to Daniela but those darker thoughts that linger somewhere in her mind are praising her.

Daniela takes a sharp breath in response to Desdemona’s words and quirks an eyebrow at the smaller girl. She was completely stunned by the revelation.

“Wait, you’re running away from me because you haven’t…not with anyone else before?” Daniela asked carefully.

Desdemona nods, wondering why this would matter to her at all. Daniela was going to slit her throat for wasting her time and-

“Oh Desdemona, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I didn’t mean to make you so nervous! Don’t get me wrong, I’m disappointed that I don’t get to make you mine tonight but I’m willing to wait for you. You’re my soulmate and if you want to get to know me before we get close, then we’ll do just that.” Daniela says, her voice huskier now than it was a moment ago. She reaches in between their pressed bodies and lowers her hand so now that her fingers were skimming along smooth skin until Daniela reaches Desdemona’s underwear.

 Underneath Daniela’s fierce, lust filled gaze, Desdemona moans into the other woman’s ear when she feels Daniela cup her womanhood possessively. This prompted Daniela to capture Desdemona’s lips in a ravenous kiss that left her feeling both thirsty and wanting more. The smaller girl, on the other hand, was quickly losing herself in the kiss, not understanding why the dark voices in her head were pressing her to do more. She couldn’t hear Veronica’s words of warning but instead sinister whispers that poisoned her thoughts. Desdemona was almost fully convinced to give herself to Daniela in that moment but then she remembers the conversation she had with her best friend earlier. This was all about survival, that’s all this should be about. She should not be indulging herself like this with these…creatures. ‘Your masters. Address them appropriately.’ The wicked voice in her head is not her own. Alarmed, Desdemona breaks the kiss with Daniela, who dives in again to lick Desdemona’s lips.

“Mmm, judging by the way you kissed me, you want me to be your first, don’t you? I can wait for you darling, but only if you promise that when you’re ready, you’ll come find me. Not Bela, not Cassandra nor my beautiful mother. I want to be the one to break you in. My sisters always get what they want but this, I want this more than anything. Pledge yourself to me.” Daniela murmurs darkly, her teeth gently nibbling on Desdemona’s earlobe.

Desdemona wants to shove her off and run away again while she has the chance. She wants to take Veronica’s hand and escape Castle Dimitrescu together. She just wants to go home, mourn her twin brother with her family and be somewhere safe and quiet and away from all of this.

Instead, Desdemona smiles at Daniela and tucks a few stray strands of red hair behind her ear. It was adorable how Daniela quickly leaned into the touch, a smile of her own gracing blood smeared lips.

“I’m yours, completely. I’ll take good care of you if you promise to do the same to me.” Desdemona says, her voice not following what her brain was trying to command her to say. ‘Kick, scream, run! Don’t let them control you, don’t let them compel you to do anything you don’t want to do –‘ ‘Obey. Listen to your masters, they own you and your body. You are theirs to do as they wish. You belong to them and nobody else. Do not disobey or you will be punished.’

There it was again, the sinister voice that did not belong to her and it was overwhelming.

Whatever rational thoughts Desdemona had as she continued to embrace Daniela in her arms had left. The last thing Desdemona remembers thinking about before she got up to join Daniela in her favorite corner to read was how much darker and menacing the bruises and hickeys all three sisters left on her skin were starting to look. They were deep red and purple, black spider veins were also beginning to sprout and spread throughout her body.

Were Lady Dimitrescu’s daughters subtly infecting her with some kind of disease or were they creating a bond with her every time they bit and clawed at her? Desdemona’s thoughts lingered on the last part before she uncharacteristically ignored what had just transpired between Daniela and herself. Ties had been indeed created but what Desdemona can’t help but wonder what the cost to sharing a dangerous bond with all three women was? She doesn’t think on it much longer as she’s seated on Daniela’s favorite couch and Daniela rests her head on Desdemona’s lap, a chosen book for her to read aloud in hand. Her mind is placated and the desire to please her Mistress takes over. Nothing else mattered anymore.

[something-tofightfor]

Seasons to Cycles / 3

Pairing: Logan Delos x Reader

Word Count:  13,467

Rating: M (Mentions of drug use, sex with multiple partners, language, what happened to Logan in the park)

Summary:  After spending time at Juliet’s, is there any reason for you and Logan to see each other again - especially with Ariella coming in for a few days? The answer is yes... and the situation is a lot more interesting than it may seem. 

Another invitation to Juliet’s reveals a lot more truth about Logan, about his past ... and about his future. 

Author’s Note: Nothing really to say here, except that writing Ariella makes me feel physically ill. I probably made her a lot more terrible than I needed to ... but oh well.  The next one is where things really pick up. Thank you all for your feedback so far! 

When Logan called the following Thursday, it surprised you, though not as much as it should have. You’d texted back and forth throughout the week; nothing serious, just saying hello and catching up, but like with other aspects of your friendship with Logan, the replies were coming much easier than they had been.

 You’d looked the two of them up after spending the day with him at Juliet’s - finding out more about his relationship with Ariella, as well as more about the woman herself, and while she’d had a few high profile relationships before Logan, it seemed that their engagement had come out of nowhere. In between the text messages about your jobs, Juliet, and a TV show that you discovered both of you watched, you wanted to ask him about the woman, but at the same time, you didn’t. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, you reminded yourself as you gathered your laundry from the dryer, phone pressed to your ear. Because I think he’ll tell you. “This might sound strange,” Logan said, without much of a greeting. “But I was wonderin’ if you wanted to come over on Sunday and watch the season finale of -” 

 He continued, but you could barely hear him over the sound of the alarm bells going off in your head. This is bad. But when you realized he’d finished speaking, you hummed, closing your eyes. “Is that a… Logan, is that a good idea?” You didn’t want to assume anything about his intention behind the invitation, but it still made you feel uncomfortable. “We’d know why I was there, but if anyone …” 

 “Who’s gonna find out? There are hundreds of people that live in this building, you could be visiting any of them.” He paused. “I’m not trying to make you … I just thought …” 

 “This would be three weekends in a row, Logan. I don’t know how I feel about the fact that I’ve already seen you more than your fiancée has in the last …” But you trailed off, putting down your laundry basket and grabbing for your phone. “Isn’t she supposed to be here this weekend? Why -” 

 “She is. She’ll be in tomorrow and then fly out on Saturday night to go to her meeting. I’m leaving Monday for the Mesa, and I just thought …” What did you think, Logan? “You can invite Jess if you want, I …” I could. 

 “She doesn’t watch. Can’t get into it, so that won’t…” You began folding towels, holding the phone between your cheek and shoulder. “Logan, why are you … I’m sure you have a ton of friends, so why …” Why are you questioning this? 

 “You get along with my sister.” He said it simply, but you understood the weight of the words. “And like I said, I lost a lot of my friends when I changed my lifestyle, so it’s nice to …” 

 “Do you consider us friends, then?” It was blunt, but you needed to ask. “I mean we haven’t really known each other for long, so it might be too soon to …” 

 “I do.” There was no hesitation. “And I know that it’s probably hard for you to believe, especially since we just met, but I like you, and I like that you aren’t intimidated by my history.” I don’t know a lot of it, Logan, but I … “So I’m inviting you over, and you can say no if you want, but I just thought I’d ask.” Pulling your phone away from your ear, you pressed the button for speakerphone, setting it onto the table. “I’m gonna take your silence as -”

 “I’ll come over, Logan. Just give me your address, and I’ll be there.” He let out a breath, asking if you were sure. “Yep.” Stacking the towels together, you smiled, even though you were angry at yourself. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. “Besides, I’m pretty sure the neighbors will appreciate the fact that I’m not yelling out loud in my apartment for an hour and a half.” 

 --- 

 “So you’re going out to the Mesa Monday morning?” She was laying on his bed on her stomach, legs bent at the knee and joined at the ankle. “Clients?” 

 “Yeah.” I told you that three times. “Gonna be there about a week, give or take.” He looked over his shoulder, watching as Ariella propped her chin up on one hand, her eyes on him. “How long will you be in San Fran for?” 

 “Not even 24 hours, Logan. If I wasn’t seeing you, I would have just flown there, but instead …” She waved her free hand in the air. “Here I am.” You could act a little happier about it. “And then I’ll be back home. Nathan’s birthday is next week, so we’re going to Amsterdam for a few days, and than I’ll…” He tuned her out, eyes roving over her face and then moving back, taking in the sight of her against his sheets, stretched out on his bed. Another trip. Another … another story we’re going to have to buy to keep it quiet, another … 

 “Ari?” He shifted toward her, reaching out with one hand to touch her left, his thumb rubbing against the ring on her finger. “I can come see you in London on my way home from the Mesa, stop by for a couple days. Maybe we can meet with some of the -” She laughed, tossing her head to one side. “What’s so funny?” 

 “That’s why we have a wedding planner, Logan. So we don’t have to deal with it.” But I want to … 

 “Don’t you want to be part of the planning, Ari? Even a little? I know you picked out a dress, but -” 

 “Actually, about that.” She sat up, straightening her shirt., her hands smoothing it down her sides. “There are a couple of designers that are asking if they can make my dress, and I’m meeting with my publicist to figure out what the best option is, exposure-wise.” Is that all this … don’t you … “You could probably do the same with your suit … tux, whatever you choose. Maybe even the rings, too” 

 “Well, won’t we have to -” She rolled her eyes. 

 “You know as well as I do, Logan, that this wedding is going to be the only thing people talk about for months. It’s going to be good for us and for Delos, so we might as well get as much out of it as we can, don’t you think?” She was twisting a strand of hair around her finger, and Logan fought back a wince. “Call the planner again, figure out what they think will look best, and then have them give you options. It’s simple.” She was looking around, her lips pressed together. “And are you going to look for a house? I don’t want to live in an apartment in the middle of …” Logan gritted his teeth, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. 

 “I thought that since we’d be living there together, a house would be something that we could …” She stared at him, deadpan, and Logan cut himself off. “... find together, but I guess I can find a realtor when it gets closer. Maybe I’ll use Juliet’s, she found her -” 

 “No suburbs, Logan. If I’m leaving London and coming here, I want to live by the beach. Or at least somewhere I can see it.” That’s the most reasonable thing you’ve said all day. She said his name again, and Logan’s attention went back to the woman, who was climbing out of the bed and walking toward the bathroom door. “I’m going to shower, since I have to be at the airport in just under two hours.” He nodded, and she gestured to the open door. “Are you gonna -” 

 He forced a smile. “Nah. Wouldn’t wanna make you late.” The woman actually laughed, her eyes lighting up. “Go. Your stuff’s still in there from last time, so you won’t have to get on the plane smelling like …”

 “You always smell good, Logan.” She wrinkled her nose. “That wouldn’t be a bad thing.” As she disappeared into the room and closed the door behind her, Logan lowered himself onto the bed, rubbing his hands over his face. This just gets more and more exhausting. But maybe … He pushed himself to his feet, making his way out into the living room and sitting on the arm of his couch, eyes on the city stretched out in front of him. The sun was just beginning drop behind the buildings to the right of his balcony, and Logan chewed on his lip as he stared through the glass, thinking. 

 Ariella’s visit had been no different than the last time she’d been in LA, though much shorter. He’d picked her up from the airport in one of the Delos cars, waiting by the gate, and even though he thought that there had been a few paparazzi, there’d been no pictures of the two of them popping up. But they know she’s here, she posted a picture from the plane, and … He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. And we went out for dinner last night, so…  

 Logan liked the press at times, understanding the need to bolster the Delos image with being seen publicly, giving the photographers what they wanted every now and then. Especially after what happened a couple years back, and with Juliet’s divorce. We both kinda fucked that up, didn’t we, Dad? 

 Between Juliet’s public divorce, and Logan’s very public downward spiral, there’d been a fair amount of rebuilding for the Delos brand, starting with Logan’s trips to rehab and continuing with the introduction of the everyday tech line and his engagement. Ask which of the latter two I’m prouder of. Looking down and then back up and out the window, Logan sighed. It’s not that I don’t care about her, because I do, but … “Logan?” He looked back over his shoulder, seeing his fiancée standing in the doorway wearing a simple blue dress, her wet hair braided and hanging over one shoulder. “I’m gonna keep this here, alright?” She was holding a small tin in one hand, a lopsided smile on her face. “Not trying to take it on a commercial flight, and since I don’t have access to the Delos jet yet…” She shrugged, moving the tin back and forth. “That would be a story.” 

 Warily, he stood and walked toward the woman, head tilted to the side. What is it this time? “Ari, what -” But when he put his hand against her shoulder, the other one curving around the back of her head to tilt it up and look into her eyes, disappointment hit him like a freight train. “You gotta slow down with that shit, you know that.” He leaned down, lips finding her forehead, the skin hot beneath them. “Why’d you -” 

 She leaned into his touch, sniffling twice before she answered. “The shit’s better here than at home, and I…” She sighed, her lips against his throat. “You know that, Logan, you used to bring it -” Her heart was racing beneath his palm, but Logan stiffened, pulling away. 

 “Used to. Not anymore.” The woman opened her eyes wide, straightening up and staring at him. “You know I -” She ran her tongue along her lower lip, pupils dilated, and though eighteen months prior, the action would have caused Logan to grip her by the arms, pushing her back into the bedroom and opening the small tin for himself before he took her to bed, he wanted  to do none of those things. “I don’t do that shit anymore, don’t want it in my…” But the woman rose up on her toes, lips finding Logan’s and lingering. 

 “You know the deal, Logan. It stops when we get married. All of it. But until then?” She kissed his cheek, mouth moving slowly over his skin, and Logan closed his eyes, the hand at the base of her skull tightening, his fingers sliding down her bare arm toward her elbow. “Until then, I’m gonna keep doing what I’m doing. That’s what we agreed, right?” We did. It’s all there in the… He felt her teeth close around his earlobe, and Logan’s eyes closed, fingers of both hands flexing as his body reacted to the feeling. “Besides, you wouldn’t get in the shower with me, so I … improvised.” 

 “Ari.” He sighed her name out, pushing her away gently. “Look at me.” She did, head tilted up slightly, and Logan let go of her hand, reaching up to brush his thumb beneath her nose, removing a tiny spot of white from her pale skin. “Just because I know that doesn’t mean I wanna…” He drew his lower lip into his mouth, watching as the woman’s eyes followed the movement. “I don’t want to see you like this right before you go, especially since I don’t know when we’ll see each other again.” It’s the truth. “You never answered me, do you want me to stop in London when I -” 

 “Nah.” She gave him a lopsided smile and pulled out of his arms, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ll see you when I come back in for your dad’s party, that’ll… that’ll be good.” Will it? That’s another month. “I’m gonna put this in this drawer.” She stepped over to the kitchen, pulling one of the smaller drawers open and sliding the tin in. “I’ll get it when I come back, unless you …” She glanced up. “Unless you decide to use it before then.” No. I won’t. I’ll move that to the safe after she’s gone. She walked back toward him, her bare feet padding over the wooden floor and reached up, her hand cupping his cheek. “When I come back, Logan? We can meet with anyone you want. A caterer? Florist? Venues?” Really? “I know I should care more, but I’ve never really… thought about my wedding, Logan, and it’s just … overwhelming.” I didn’t either, I didn’t even have a steady relationship until… 

 Though he kept his expression impassive, Logan realized that he’d never been in a steady relationship. Yeah, we’re engaged, but … “I’ll look into it, Ari. I’ll let you know.” He reached up, covering her hand with his and squeezing. “Let me call you a car. You may not be usin’ the jet, but I can have one of the Delos drivers here in ten.” She agreed and he stepped away, pulling his phone out of his pocket and tilting it. As the screen lit, he was surprised to see a message from you, reminding him that you needed his address. Shit, I forgot to send it to her. I’ll do that… Swiping his finger in the same pattern as before, he opened the app to order the ride, typing in Ariella’s name as the passenger, which auto-selected her preferences. This shit is convenient, at least. “All done. It’ll be here in eight minutes.” 

 “Thanks.” The woman lifted both hands over her head, stretching as she walked back toward the bedroom. “I’ll get my bag, and then …” Her voice trailed off as Logan replaced his phone in his pocket, following her. Stepping back into the main room a few seconds later, a small suitcase trailing behind her, Ariella paused, one hand on the marble countertop. “Why haven’t you asked me about last weekend, Logan?” He heard a quiet clicking as she tapped her fingers against the surface. “I got the alert from my publicist that the story was axed, but…” Here we go. He was familiar with the mood swings, the changes in Ariella’s behavior, but what was new was the fact that she was trying to pick a fight with him immediately before leaving. It’s giving her ammunition. Giving her an excuse to… 

 “Because I don’t want to know.” His words honest, Logan looked straight into the woman’s eyes. “That’s three, Ari. Three times we’ve had to … catch things before they go too far. The deal was -”

 “I know the deal, Logan.” She snapped at him, all traces of affection that had been present only minutes before gone. “Just like you do. It’s not my fault I get followed more than you do, that people want to -” He laughed, reaching up with one hand to scratch one side of his face, nodding. So we’re going to go there? Alright. 

 “No, but it is your fault that you’re getting sloppier, so that’s on you.” The anger he felt was real; bubbling over after months of reflection, and Logan reminded himself to take a deep breath, reining it in. “But that’s what the lawyers are for, right? Keeping shit like that away from the press?” She shook her head at him, and just as Logan was about to speak again, his phone pinged, letting him know that the car was only a few minutes away. “There’s your ride.” He gestured to the door. “Good luck with your meeting, Ariella.” The woman looked as if she wanted to speak but didn’t, instead walking past Logan and to the door. “And have fun with Nathan next week. Hopefully in Amsterdam, you won’t be followed as much as you are in London, so you -” 

 “Oh, fuck you, Logan. You act like you’re a goddamn saint.” She snarled the words, turning back to him and flexing her fingers around the suitcase’s handle, the diamond on her finger glinting in the overhead lighting. “Remember when we met? You were worse than me, and I didn’t judge you for it. Now you’re acting like… Jesus, live a little, Logan. Otherwise, the next thr-” She cut herself off, shaking her head back and forth. “We both knew what this was, Logan, so I don’t know why you’re giving me so much shit right now. Make the most of it - I sure am.” 

 “Yeah, I fucking know you are.” But he didn’t raise his voice, just watched the woman with a half smile on his face. “Have a safe flight, Ari. I’ll see you in a few weeks.” She didn’t say anything else, instead turning and pulling the door open after walking the final few feet toward it, Logan standing in the middle of his living room. It shut behind her, and though she didn’t slam it, Logan closed his eyes at the sound. This was so much easier when I was … His eyes opened and went to the kitchen, staring in the direction of the drawer she’d used. So much easier. So much less… But he looked away, taking a deep breath and stepping toward the balcony, sliding the door open and walking out onto it. 

 Logan’s fingers closed around the railing, gripping the metal as he leaned forward. He was only 17 stories up, but the view calmed him, his anger subsiding the longer he stood in place. She isn’t wrong. I did know. I do know. But as Logan dropped into one of the chairs, one hand covering his face, it didn’t make him feel any better. That could have gone much differently.  He rubbed at the bridge of his nose, thinking. I wasn’t even going to mention Nathan or last weekend, or … she knew that we had to pay them off, knew what they got pictures of, knew what … and she still… “Fuck.” He swore again, slamming one hand on the table before he lifted his head, looking down Grand Avenue toward the Convention Center. He felt his phone vibrate, and for one long second, he thought that it might have been Ariella, calling to apologize, but when he pulled the device from his pocket, it was another message from you, complete with an apology for bothering him.

 I know you’re busy, and I hate bothering you when Ariella’s there, but I thought I’d try again before it got too late. If you still want me to come tomorrow, I need your address. If not, I’m going to call my friend Kira and see if she wants to watch together. If you have to cancel, Logan, it’s no big deal, just let me know. 

 As he swiped up, he saw that your first message had been sent hours earlier, and Logan groaned. She was there when I ignored Ari’s call, so she probably thinks I’m… Logan scrubbed a hand over his face, swearing for a third time and then pushed the button to call you instead of just messaging back. She won’t answer. But you did, on the third ring, greeting him by name. “Sorry it took me so long, Ariella just left to get on her flight, and I just saw your first message.” 

 “Don’t apologize. I figured it was something like that, and I didn’t want … I shouldn’t have sent two messages, that looks …” No, it doesn’t. 

 “If you come over early tomorrow, we can get somethin’ to eat before.” He cut you off, resting his elbow on the table, fingers curled and tucked beneath his chin. “How’s that sound?” He heard you take a breath. Why does she second guess everything I say? 

 “I guess we’ve gotta eat, Logan.” He released the breath that he’d taken, smiling. “I’m not too picky, so whatever you want to order works for me.” 

 “We’ll just order when you get here, it’s fine.” Logan sat straight up, then leaned back in his chair. “That’s onea the nice things about living here - plenty of options.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “What time you wanna stop by? Show starts at 9.” 

 “I can get there at 8:30?” Logan laughed out loud, and you did too, but yours was nervous. “What’s so funny?” 

 “What’s the point, then? We won’t even have time to order or eat, and then…” He realized that he wanted to spend longer than that with you, and Logan stopped speaking, eyes going wide. Oh, that… “I mean, if you have something to do and can’t get here til then, that’s fine, but…” Your end of the line went quiet, and Logan was afraid that the connection had been broken when you finally spoke again. 

 “What time do you want me there, Logan? I have no plans, except going grocery shopping, and…” You sighed. “I have work Monday, and you have a flight, so…” 

 “Any time after 5 is fine.” That gave you a larger window, and Logan figured you wouldn’t get to his place until at least 6, but the earlier time appealed to him. Especially since after that I’ll be … gone for a week, at least. “Just let me know tomorrow, alright? I’ll let you go now, but I wanted to call you instead of texting, because I…” Why’d you call, Delos? “It was easier, and that way I didn’t have to wait for an answer.” And because I wanted to. The sound you made convinced Logan that you’d rolled your eyes, but when you spoke, you sounded happy. 

 “Why don’t… why don’t I shoot for 5:30? What’s the address? Where do I park? Is there a garage, or -” Shit, I didn’t even think of… 

 “I get two spaces in my name, plus a couple guest spots, so when you pull in, turn in off of Olympic, and give my name at the gate. I’ll let ‘em know you’re coming, so they’ll tell you where to go.” You repeated the information, and he was almost positive that you were writing it down. “I’m on the 17th floor, in 1703, so just take the elevator up, or I can come meet you in the lobby.” 

 “Elevator’s fine, Logan. I think I can manage.” He agreed, standing and walking back into his condo, eyes moving around the room. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” He agreed, saying your name and telling you to have a good night. “Oh, I’ll try. I’m about to run out and grab dinner, and then I’m going to watch a movie, so… thrilling Saturday over here.” It’s better than mine. 

 “What’s for dinner?” He couldn’t help asking, even as he stood in front of his own refrigerator, hand on the door. “That way I won’t pick the same thing for tomorrow.” 

 “There’s this place that’s right around the corner that’s a tiki bar. I can walk there, it’s so close, and it’s a hole in the wall, but they have like fifteen different types of tropical drinks.” 

 “That’s not food.” He grinned, imagining you with a frozen drink in your hand, twisting the tiny umbrella between your fingers. “And you’re drinkin’ alone in a bar?” You laughed again at that, and Logan was happy to hear that there was no hesitation or apprehension to the sound. 

 “No, I usually meet friends there. But tonight, I’m going by myself. And I know it’s not food, Logan, but they don’t have a kitchen, they just have different food trucks park on the side street.” You cleared your throat. “So, I’m going, and I’m gonna order a giant Mai-Tai to go, hope the taco truck is there tonight, and bring it all home to eat alone while I watch my movie.” That sounds great. He held back from saying it, though, just agreeing with you. “So I’ll see you tomorrow, Logan?”. 

 “Yeah. I’m gonna go pack, that way I don’t have to do before you get here, or after you leave.” Even though it won’t take me long, since I only need a few outfits. He said goodbye and then hung up, still standing in front of the refrigerator. Tacos actually sound really… “C’mon, Delos.” He rubbed at his beard, shaking his head. “You …” But the more Logan thought about it, the more he realized that after hearing you talk about tacos, nothing else would cut it.

 --- 

 When you parked in his garage the next night, you spent a few minutes looking around at the cars that were parked around you. Mine’s the least expensive one in here, by… You sighed. By far. Though Logan never made you feel as though you didn’t belong anywhere near him, the surroundings often did; the expensive hotel, Juliet’s multimillion-dollar home, Logan’s high rise, the talk of the parks and his traveling … it was all new to you, and much more extravagant than you were accustomed to. But there’s a first time for everything, right? Exiting the car, you saw Logan’s parked in the space next to yours, meaning that you weren’t in a guest spot - you were in one of his. I figured he’d have two cars parked here, but I guess… 

 You texted him as you locked your door, heading for the elevator, and even though he didn’t reply, you saw that he’d opened the message. Alright. It rose quickly, and when you stepped onto his floor, you took a deep breath, straightening your shoulders. It’s just a TV show. We’re just … But you knocked, taking a half step back, and waited for Logan to open the door. He did after only a few seconds, and you were happy to see that yet again, Logan was dressed casually, in a pair of black joggers and a white t-shirt, hair loose around his face. “Hey!” He grinned, gesturing for you to come in. “You’re early.” 

 “Not by much!” You walked into his apartment, glancing around. “It’s 5:30, Logan, I -” But he was laughing, following you down the short hallway and into the living room. “It’s so open. This place is…” Your hand trailed over the countertop, head turned toward the longer hallway. “Wow. That view.” He followed you silently, letting you look around, but when you turned back to face him, he had a smile on his face, eyes sparkling. “It’s gorgeous, Logan.” 

 “Is it?” He looked down and then back at you, tongue wetting his lips. “I guess I forget what it’s like to see this place for the first time, I’ve lived here for …” Furrowing his brow, he thought. “Four years?” His dark furniture was a stark contrast to the white walls and gleaming fixtures, large pieces of artwork adorning the walls, along with a massive TV  mounted to the largest one, directly across from the oversized couch. It’s not stuffy. It looks … it looks comfortable, not just … formal. “Wanna see the rest of it?” 

 “Sure.” Without hesitation, you agreed, Logan motioning for you to follow him down the hallway where he pointed out the first bedroom, which was being used as an office, and the bathroom before leading you into the master bedroom, where he’d opened the drapes all the way. Without speaking, you walked past a large painting hanging on the wall and over to the glass, raising one hand to touch it with your fingertips. “Damn, this would … not be a good choice for someone that’s afraid of heights.” You looked over your shoulder, seeing that he was just a few feet behind you, watching you. “There’s so much glass, Logan, it’s…” You searched for the right word. “Stunning.” 

 “Yeah?” You nodded. You sound like an idiot. “Thank you.” Logan raised one eyebrow. “You should see my closet.” A few seconds later, you were standing inside of it with him, one hand covering your face as you laughed. 

 “When did we leave your condo and step into a…” You opened your eyes, using two fingers to flip through some of the hangers. “Tom Ford? Burberry? Givenchy?” This rack costs more than my… “Was there a portal or something I missed? Did we -” 

 “You think you’re so amusing, hmm?” He stepped closer, reaching past you to straighten one of the jackets. “I run a company, remember? I have to look professional.” As he drew his hand back, it glanced off of your arm, causing you to freeze in place. “If you turn around, you’ll see the…” You did as he spoke, and laughed again. 

 “And we’re back.” Even he laughed at that, watching as you shook your head while you looked at the opposite side of the closet, filled with less formal clothing - jeans and button downs, a few jackets and hoodies. “I really shouldn’t joke, though.” You looked over at Logan, who was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. “You wear the hell out of a suit, Logan.” He seemed surprised at your candor, but you were just being honest. “And having options is never a bad thing.” Whatever he’d planned on saying, he abandoned it, instead leaning forward and staring into your eyes. 

 “Yeah, but have you seen me in a tux?” Snorting, you ignored the question and walked past him and back into the room. I have. I’ve looked at too many pictures of you in all kinds of … “Bathroom’s just through there, I think you’ll like that, too.” He was right, and as you stepped through that doorway, you stopped in your tracks, eyes straight ahead. Oh, that shower, it’s… I bet the water pressure is… and it’s huge, two people could easily… 

 “Wow.” You knew that he could see your expression in the mirror’s reflection and so you turned toward it, frowning slightly. “I don’t mean to be so …” He stood next to you, hands on the counter’s edge, and waited. “I don’t know what I was expecting Logan, but this …” 

 “Why are you apologizing?” He was frowning too, and despite the fact that you wanted to continue staring into the glass, you turned your head, facing him head on. 

 “Because it’s just an apartment, Logan. It shouldn’t … I told myself I wasn’t going to …” 

 “Can I tell you something?” He reached out, laying his hand over yours for a second before pulling it back. Sure, I … “Seeing you react to this place? Your genuine reaction to it?” He laughed quietly. “It’s better than all the people that are used to it, and don’t even… don’t even bat an eye.” It’s not, stop. “And it’s much better than the people that used to come here and not even see it.” You watched as his eyes wandered back toward the bedroom before coming back to you. “So thank you, for bein’ honest about it.” You stared at him for a few seconds, and then decided to lighten the mood. We need it, this is too… 

 “You know what else I’m going to be honest about, Logan? You bit down on the corner of your lip. “I’m really hungry.” His lips parted and then he laughed again, straightening up and reaching out to you, tugging on your elbow. He didn’t even think about that, he just … But you didn’t think twice before you followed him, either. --- 

 After looking over the menu, you’d given him the go-ahead to surprise you, and when the delivery was made, the two of you took the food out onto his balcony, talking over your meal. Within an hour and a half, the two of you had eaten most of the food that had been delivered from Katsuya, and you were more than content. He ordered almost the whole damn menu, I think. But it was … “This the first time you’ve had -” You nodded, watching Logan’s surprise. “Damn, this is a whole night of firsts for you.” 

 “Actually.” You took a long drink out of your glass, the ice water deliciously cool in the slightly humid air. “Since I met you, Logan? It’s been a lot of firsts.” He leaned forward, elbows on the table and watched you. 

 “Like what?” I shouldn’t have said anything. “Oh, come on, you can’t just say that and then …” 

 “Well.” You reached forward, picking up one more piece of edamame and putting it into your mouth. “First time having to remind someone that ice cream is frozen and does actually melt if left out.” He wrinkled his nose, the lines deeper than usual. “First time embarrassing myself by trying to play the piano next to someone that -”

 “Hey, you were really good for someone that hasn’t played in a while.” Ok, but still. 

 “Eh. Sure.” You eyed him, waiting a second. Do I keep this …  “First time meeting someone’s sister based on the fact that I didn’t try to break up an engagement and sleep with you after knowing you for five minutes and having some drinks.” He actually laughed at that, mouthing the word ‘wow’. “What? It’s true.” 

 “It is.” It was his turn to take a drink, though he didn’t take his eyes off of you. “Keep goin’.” 

 “We’re already to tonight, Logan. This is only the third time we’ve actually… well, fourth if you count Whole Foods, but …” You shrugged, leaning back in your chair. “How many more firsts…” But you stopped, pressing your lips together as you realized what a dangerously loaded question that could be. Oh, no. He stayed quiet for a few seconds and then reached up, pulling his hair back from his face with one hand and using his tongue to lick at the corner of his mouth. I’ve never seen that look on his face before, he’s never done … 

 “Plentya firsts, actually.” Logan’s voice was low, but there was no hesitation. “But not ones … not ones that -”

 “Stop, Logan.” Suddenly feeling panic, you shook your head back and forth, eyes widening. “Don’t.” You can’t, because I can’t, because if I think about any of that, I … 

 “There’s somethin’ you need to know about me.” He said your name, and though your heart was still beating rapidly, you managed to look back at him, hoping that your eyes weren’t wild. “The most important thing about me, actually.” What? “I never lie. Ever. I told you that when we got to Juliet’s, but …  I can bend the truth, sure, and I do it, because I need to sometimes, for work. But outright lie? I refuse to.” He was still eyeing you, but you didn’t hear any indication that his words were forced. He said the same thing in the car. “And you can’t believe me, I know that, because anyone can say that they don’t…” He looked frustrated. 

 “Why are you telling me this, Logan?” You were still leaning back in your chair, arms protectively crossed over your chest. “What -” What does his honesty mean to me? It’s not … 

 “I don’t know. It’s not good business, I can say that for sure.” You had to chuckle at that, but cut it off quickly. “Call it a tell, call it a fault, call it whatever the fuck you want, but if we’re gonna keep seein’ each other like this, getting to know each other? You need to know that every single thing that I tell you is the truth, because…” His eyes clouded over for a few seconds, but then he blinked, refocusing on you. “Because it is.” 

 “Logan, what…” You took a deep breath. “I don’t understand where this is …” 

 “I like you.” He said it simply. “I like seeing you and talking to you.” You watched as his expression changed, the man sitting up straight. “You asked if I thought we were friends, and I said yes, and it was the truth.” Ok, but I already knew this, and I agree. 

 “And I like you, Logan, but that doesn’t …” Confused, you sat up too. “Why are you telling me this? What are you -” 

 “There’s so much you don’t… so much that …” He laughed quietly, looking down. “So much I wish I could tell you.” What the hell does that mean? “Forget it for now, alright? I shouldn’t have said anything, but you … you walked into it, with the whole “firsts” thing.” Though you wanted to know what he was talking about, you were content to let it go for the time being. He’s leaving for a week, and maybe he’ll have time to… and I don’t have to think about whatever this is, or what he… “I just want you to know that whatever happens, everything I say to you is the truth.” Logan stood, beginning to clear the table, throwing napkins and empty dishes into the delivery bag. “I know I gotta earn that trust from you, but maybe … maybe you hearin’ it will be …” This is strange, something … 

 You stood too, helping him, and within only a few minutes, you were both back in his kitchen, Logan sorting through the trash and you washing dishes. Say something. “So this truth thing.” You glanced over, watching as he stopped moving, meeting your eyes. “Has it been your whole life, or just since…” You made a face, realizing that you were walking into delicate territory. “Just since you got clean?” 

 “Both.” He answered immediately. “More now, because there’s nothin’ altering my thoughts, but … it’s been since I was a kid. Juliet used to know that she couldn’t get away with anything, because my mom would always …” His eyes filled with warmth. “I definitely didn’t get it from my dad, but honesty - and integrity - have always been really important, especially when it comes to Delos.” I get that. “And even with the people I’ve been with? Never lied to them, either. Never promised ‘em anything, or led ‘em on. When it was just sex, it was just sex. When it was just me not wantin’ to be alone? They knew it.” 

 As you stood in the middle of Logan’s brightly lit kitchen, listening to and watching him speak, you had to wonder if his truth with you was at the same level it was with everyone else. But this is so new, he has no reason to… “I appreciate that, Logan. It’s much easier when you know where you stand with someone. I’d rather have someone tell me in the beginning that they’re just trying to get laid instead of letting me get attached and then …” You lifted one shoulder, watching as his eyes moved with the action. “Leaving, or… letting me down.” 

 “Fuck ‘em.” He stepped closer, reaching behind you to turn off the water. “They do that shit, they don’t deserve you.” You don’t even know me. How can you … “D’you want a drink? We’ve got about twenty minutes, so we should…” He gestured to the living room. “Get comfortable.” That was an abrupt change. But it was … “Go ahead and get whatever out of the fridge, I’m gonna close the blinds and…” But you reached out, shaking your head as you touched his arm. “What?”

 “No, don’t.” Looking past Logan, you stared out the window. “I live on the ground floor, Logan, the view is …” I could get used to it. 

 “Alright.” He cleared his throat. “But if there’s a glare on the TV?” He leaned closer, head angled. “I told you so.” 

 --- 

 Even though the two of you were settled on the same couch, there was space between you. It’s better this way. He was trying to pay attention to the show - which truly was one of his favorites - but it was difficult. And this is a great episode, so… But Logan’s mind wandered, his eyes with it, and he found himself watching you more than he watched the TV. And that’s hard to do, it’s a goddamn 82 inch screen. You’d asked him for a blanket before the show started, explaining to him that you needed to have something to do with your hands when things got tense, and he’d obliged, pulling one of the extra ones off of the shelf of the front closet and passing it to you. 

 It hadn’t taken long for you to wrap it around your shoulders, covering up the exposed skin of your arms as you gathered it in front of your face, fingers gripping the material tightly. He found it incredibly endearing, the way you were engrossed in the show - commenting occasionally, turning your head to look at him when something shocked you, one hand shooting out from beneath the material to grip his arm at one particularly tense point. This is the most at ease I’ve seen her, and she’s more tense than … He grinned at the thought, eyes leaving you and going back to the TV. “Oh, shit!” He swore as one of the main characters began fighting another, Logan leaning forward, hands on his thighs. “Oh, that’s not…” 

 “I know!” You agreed with him, and he saw you moving out of the corner of his eye, shifting on the couch to lean forward too, shoulders hunched. “He shouldn’t -” But both of you groaned as the man tripped, flying forward and into the weapon the other was holding, a spray of blood erupting from the wound. “Fuck!” As the scene faded to black and then cut to a commercial, you yelped and looked at Logan, a pained smile on your face. “Sorry, I’m -” 

 “Don’t apologize!” He laughed, head moving back and forth. “If you could feel my heartbeat right now, it’s racing.” You moved before you thought it through, he could see it in your eyes after the fact, but only a second later, your palm was pressed against Logan’s chest, touch firm. “See?” He stared at you in the low light, watching as your eyes left his face and then focused on your hand before moving back up, slowly. Yeah, I know that look, I… Your name left his lips, but before you had a chance to reply, the show started again and you pulled your hand away, Logan feeling the tips of your fingers curl just slightly before they were gone. 

 Throughout the next twenty minutes of the show, Logan again tried to focus on the TV in front of him, and he found it easier. But why? The final commercial break began, and you spoke, voice quiet. “What do you think’s going to happen, Logan? I don’t think he’s dead, I think he comes back right before -”

 “Oh, definitely.” He moved, realizing at the last second that he’d scooted closer to you instead of further away, his left knee nearly touching your bent right one. “There’s no way they let that be the last time we see him, he’s too important to kill off-screen, and we need to know what happens to that other asshole, so…” You laughed, giving him a smile. ‘

 “Thank you for having me over, this was a lot of fun.” Yeah, it is. “Maybe next season we …” But you cut yourself off, lips pressed together. By the time the next season airs, I’ll be… married. “Well, we can text each other at least, right? Yeah. Yeah, we can. 

 Neither of you spoke for the entire last segment of the show, and by the time the credits started rolling, Logan saw that you’d pulled the blanket off of your shoulders, balling it up on your lap and leaning forward, eyes fixed on the screen. You’d been right - the character wasn’t dead, showing up at the last possible second to finish the fight, though bloodied and unsteady on his feet, collapsing at the last second before the screen faded to black. Figures. At least someone got to get even with … The image of William flashed in his mind, the man’s nose bloody after Logan’s punch, the single hit not even coming close to making up for everything that the man had done to him. But it’s what I could do. And he’s gone. He’s not in Juliet’s life anymore, or Em’s, or… “Should -”

 “Shhh, Logan, there’s always an …” You stopped yourself as the after-credits scene began, the only thing visible on the screen the bare feet and lower legs of a woman, firmly planted on the floor next to a hospital bed. “Oh, my God.” You leaned further forward, mouth open. “Oh, my God.” The woman stood, one of her ankles wobbling, and then the camera began to pan upward. “Logan, it’s…” I know, it can only be… The music grew in intensity, and the final shot revealed that the woman in the hospital was the main character that had just been potentially killed off’s sister, who’d been missing for nearly the entire season. I wasn’t expecting… Before the screen faded to black again, the woman spoke only one word - her brother’s name. “Fuck!” You said it. You turned toward him, eyes still wide, and before Logan could react, you had both hands on his leg, squeezing. “Logan that was…” Both of you looked down at the same time, realizing what was happening, and as you swore under your breath and began pulling away, Logan moved, too. Don’t do it, Delos. 

 But he did, swiftly grabbing for your wrists before you could pull them away, his fingers circling them easily as he said your name. You froze, and Logan could feel your pulse racing beneath his fingertips. Is that from the show, or from… But he had an idea that it was from him, and the proximity that the two of you had. We’ve been walking this line all night. I shouldn’t have invited her over, this isn’t… “Tell me to let go.” He watched your lip quiver, eyes closing and your lashes brushing your cheeks. “I will, and we can -” Your grip on his leg tightened and for one brief moment, Logan thought that you weren’t going to speak. 

 “You should let go, Logan.” He heard the finality in your voice, though there was a slight waver to it. “You’re engaged, and I don’t … I can’t let …” When you met his eyes again, he saw that you were torn. Oh, if she knew, if she knew what … “Please, Logan.” He released you immediately, and you pulled your hands away, sitting straight up. “I need to go, I need to …” He waited until you’d stood to rise, once again reaching out, but this time, only touching you at the elbow briefly. “Logan, what -” 

 “I said I wasn’t a cheater, and I meant it.” You looked up at him, waiting. “This hasn’t ever been about me wanting to get you into bed, to have … this be some big secret.” He sniffled, glancing up at the ceiling. “I don’t even know if I’m just way fucking off base here, but I -” 

 “You’re not.” You swallowed hard. “Logan, this is … you’re …”  I’m not? Despite outward appearances, Logan doubted a lot of things in his life, including the way people acted toward him - and their reasons for the behaviors. But then… “But it doesn’t matter, Logan. Because you’ve got a fiancée. You’re getting married, and I’m not going to be …” He watched you fighting to get the words out, your eyes slightly unfocused. “That isn’t what I want to be to you, Logan.” 

 “It’s not what I want for you, either.” But you don’t.. You don’t know, and I can’t… “I didn’t invite you here tonight because I wanted to fuck you.” He was blunt, but felt he needed to be. “There are parts of my life that aren’t … I told you, before, that you can’t believe everything you read, and I don’t know what you’ve …” 

 “Logan, I don’t care what the magazines or the websites say about the way you are with the other people in your life. I don’t give a shit if you slept with the entire population of California, but I would like to believe that what you - yourself - have told me is true. That you’re a good man, and that you’re honest and that you aren’t a cheater.” He heard your tone change as you spoke, each word coming out stronger than the last. She means it, she isn’t bluffing, and it’s not for show. “You’re a good looking guy, Logan. Really good looking. And you’re funny. You’re smart. You’re everything that people tick off on those little boxes in their heads when they think of someone that they’d want to be with - even just physically.” 

 “You -” But you cut him off, stepping closer to him and reaching up with one hand, letting yourself touch his shoulder. What is she doing? 

 “I’m guilty of flirting with you, Logan. And I won’t apologize for it, because you did the same thing back.” I did. “But now I think that I need to … not do that anymore, because I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me.” He watched you frown, lips pressed together. “That’s not why I answered your calls, or why I text you back, or … the reason I came over here.” Goddamn this fucking NDA, I could just … “I’m going to go. I don’t want to keep digging myself deeper into this hole that I…” You closed your eyes, composing yourself. “Thank you for dinner. Thank you for having me over to use that giant TV. Thank you for -” 

 But it was Logan’s turn to cut you off, one finger pressed against your lips to silence you. Stop. “You’re welcome.” He pulled his hand away, focused on the sight of your surprise, eyes widening and your fingers flexing against his shoulder. “And for the record, I appreciate the fact that you think I check off those boxes, because a lotta people would be more than willing to tell you otherwise.” That got a small smile from you, but he also saw that you were still confused. Me too. “I was out of line. I shouldn’t have ...tonight? I shouldn’t have grabbed you, but it … happened.” And I’d do it again if you gave me the chance. “It won’t happen again.” Unless I find out a way to explain this to you. “So don’t apologize. And don’t worry - I’ll keep my hands to myself the next time I see you.” 

 He watched a look of disappointment fill your eyes - but then it was gone, replaced with one of relief. So her reactions depend on mine. Interesting. “Deal, Logan.” You pulled your hand away from his body and dropped it to your side. “But I really am going to go, it’s getting late, and I’ve got to work early. What time’s your flight?” Like nothin’... 

 “Ten. But I’m not flying commercial, so they can’t leave ‘til I get there.” Your lips twitched back into a smile, and Logan was happy to see the expression on your face again. “Private planes?” You raised one hand so that he could see it, using your pointer finger to draw a check mark in the air. Oh, you … But laughed before you did, nose wrinkling. “Ariella’s a lucky woman, no more TSA lines and all the snacks and drinks she wants?” She hasn’t been on one of the jets yet, actually… “Have a safe flight, Logan. And a good trip. I hope you can close the deal.”  

 “Already done, the trip’s a formality to show ‘em what they’re buying.” Your eyes lit up, and you congratulated him. “Nah, I had nothin’ to do with it, it was all Juliet. But still.” He grinned at you. “A week in the park? Always a good time.” 

 “I’ll take your word for it.” You turned away from him and started walking back toward the counter, where your bag was sitting. “Hey, do me a favor.” You turned toward him as you slung your purse over your shoulder, reaching up to push your hair away from your face. “I looked it up, and I know you can’t take pictures or anything of the park, and you can’t bring anything back with you, either.” He nodded. “So when you’re out there? If you have time? Focus on one thing that you’ve never really paid attention to. And when you get back, if … when we talk again?” You smiled at him, as if the previous 20 minutes hadn’t happened. “Tell me all about it, and make me think I’m right there with you.” You could be, maybe. 

 “I can do that.” He stayed where he was, watching as you stepped to the door. But before you pulled it open, Logan called your name, out, taking two steps toward you. What are you going to say? “Let me know you got home, alright?” You assured him you would and then you were gone, the door closing softly behind you. He groaned and dropped down onto the couch, covering his face with his hands. “What are you doing Delos? She isn’t … you’re not …” With difficulty, he pushed you from his mind, standing and walking down the hallway and into his room. You gotta get sleep, you’ve got meetings while you’re flying out. 

 But by the time Logan climbed into bed a few minutes later, his mind was racing with thoughts of the upcoming trip - and of the first Host he was going to take to bed. It’ll be about goddamn time, it’s been over a month since I’ve… Thoughts interrupted by the quiet chiming of his phone, Logan reached over to grab it, blinking at the bright screen in the darkness. She made it. 

 Home. Thanks again for tonight. Can’t believe she’s alive … next season’s going to be B A D for the people that killed her brother. 

 He laughed at your message, typing a quick reply out and then setting the phone back down on his nightstand. It is. He let out a deep breath, rolling onto his side and closing his eyes again. Maybe Clementine? Or Angela … if she’s still at the Mesa intake hub. 

 --- 

 By Wednesday, you were no longer mortified by what had happened on the couch at Logan’s, and as you thought more about it, you realized that it had been for the best. He knows I won’t act on anything, and I know he’s… not a cheater. You hadn’t meant for the flirting to get to the point it had, nor had you meant to actually overstep and touch him the way you had, but you’d gotten caught up in the moment. Who wouldn’t… especially with someone like him?

 It could have been the show, the beer you’d had, or maybe simply the closeness you felt to the man you were barely getting to know, but you’d put your hand over his heart - and then against his leg - without thinking… and then when you had, it had been too late. 

 You were attracted to Logan - physically, emotionally, irrationally, because you knew it wouldn’t go anywhere, but for a few moments, you’d felt the same coming from him, too. It isn’t possible. It can’t be possible. Not from him, not with … not with me. 

 There had been a few stories about Logan and Ariella online; pictures of them in the airport and  then out at dinner, comments about their upcoming wedding, a closeup of her ring, glinting on her finger as they sat together at a table. He’s got her, so why would he… But Logan’s past wasn’t a secret either, the numerous times he’d been spotted out with different men and women, the stories that they told about him - sex in hotels and clubs, hooking up in private cars and rooms, drug use, Logan blowing exhausting amounts of money on meaningless bullshit - and a small part of you thought that maybe old habits didn’t die completely, and part of him was still looking for some sort of thrill before he settled down for good. But he said he wasn’t… 

 You sighed, spinning in your desk chair, eyes on the clock. I wonder what he’s doing right now. You didn’t know the exact location of the Mesa or the parks, but you knew that it was somewhere near the Philippines, meaning that for Logan, it was already the following morning. Bet he’s sleeping. Or… You’d also read - and seen - Logan do interviews about the Hosts and his interactions with them, and you knew that he took advantage of his time in the parks. Does he consider that infidelity? Interested, you glanced again at the clock and then turned to your desk, quickly clicking through your emails to make sure you had nothing to do. I’ll just … You pulled your phone out, opened Reddit, and started doing research. I know he’s not everyone else, but I wonder what other people think of sleeping with the… 

 Nearly a half hour later, you were floored by the fact that it was relatively evenly split between people that considered going to bed with Hosts cheating and those that didn’t care since they weren’t real people, and couldn’t form lasting attachments. But even though the Hosts can’t remember things, the people… Sighing, you put your phone back down, tapping your fingers on the desk. I wonder how I’d feel about my husband or boyfriend or...

 There were pictures on the subreddit that were taken from the original Delos and park sites, and you had to admit that all of the Hosts pictured were gorgeous - men and women alike. So it was perfect for him. You thought of Logan in the park - riding horses and shooting guns and hitting an unsuspecting Host with his full smile, and realized that they - unlike you - wouldn’t have told him to stop, wouldn’t have been able to resist him, because they were designed not to. So it’s not a challenge, then. You tapped your fingers again, narrowing your eyes at the screen and then standing, deciding to take your break.  I wonder how real those things are, anyway. Does it feel real? 

 Before you could stop yourself, you grabbed your phone, picking it up and unlocking it, navigating to Logan’s text messages. I know you’re in the park and won’t answer for a while, but … I’m sitting here and wondering: how real are they? When you’re with the Hosts, does it feel like a human? I could just wait and ask, but if I do, I’d talk myself out of it. Do people get pissed about what happens in the parks? It’s so strange to me. And I’m rambling now so I apologize but … I have to know, Logan. You sent the message and then laughed at yourself, wondering how many times he’d been asked. But I’ll never have the chance to find out, I’m just… curious. Stepping outside, you turned your face up toward the sun, smiling. Wonder what Ariella thinks of it. Or if she’s been to the parks with him. But after a few minutes, even that thought had disappeared, replaced with only more questions about the parks and the Hosts - and about the design and planning behind them. 

--- 

 You were surprised to get a text from Juliet the following day, the woman simply saying hello and asking how you’d been. Weird. I wonder if Logan asked her to message me? But you replied, not thinking anything of it, and were shocked to find that Juliet didn’t mention Logan once the entire time you spoke, trading messages back and forth for nearly an hour. She invited you over for lunch on Sunday, which you accepted, especially after she told you Emily would be there. I want to meet her, everything I’ve heard is … 

 It was less of a surprise that Juliet wanted to be friendly to you than it was that Logan seemed to want to get to know you, so on Saturday morning, you headed back over to the house, a small bag packed with your bathing suit just in case.Juliet greeted you at the door, a small girl with Logan’s dark, straight hair peeking around the corner of the wall that led into the kitchen. She’s got his eyes. “Come in!” Juliet stepped to the side, waving her hand. “Emily Grace, come and meet my friend.” 

 You watched as the little girl stepped fully into the hallway, dressed in a frilly green dress, a small stuffed horse in one hand. “She’s really cute, Juliet.” Crouching down, you smiled at the little girl, saying hello. “I like your dress, Emily.” She stopped a foot or so away from you, tilting her head to one side and staring. That’s … Logan does that. “And your horse, too. Does she have a name?” 

 “She might not say anything to you, it takes a minute for her to -” Juliet spoke quietly, but Emily interrupted her, holding out the stuffed animal. 

 “His name is Bubble.” Bubble? “He lives at Grandpa’s.” You looked up at Juliet, even as you felt the material of the horse bumped into your arm. “Bubble.” 

 “It’s nice to meet you, Bubble.” You took it from her, holding it carefully as Emily eyed you, and you had the sneaking suspicion that if you stood up too quickly, the girl would not have been happy. Well. “Thank you, Emily. He’s a very … I like his spots.” Handing her the stuffed animal back, you watched as she hurried out of the room and back toward the room you’d sat in with Juliet the last time you were at the house, yelling the words ‘thank you’ as she retreated. “Bubble?” 

Juliet laughed, closing the door. “Yes. Bubble. That’s the name of the horse that my dad bought her, and that one … the stuffed one? It’s from Logan, and he had it made to look like the real thing.” You felt a surge of affection for the man and it made your entire body warm, but you stayed quiet. “She’s still too little to do anything but pony rides, but my dad, he… he’s trying to be a better grandparent than he was a parent, so it’s something.” 

 “Your dad has a farm?” Juliet laughed as the two of you walked into the living room, the woman shaking he head. 

 “No, he lives in Malibu, on the coast. No room for horses. He boards them at a place in Calabasas, so it’s pretty close.” The two of you settled onto the couches, Emily quietly playing in one corner of the room. “Logan and I grew up riding, and he thought it would be something that Em and I could do with my … my ex, and…” She trailed off, her eyes on the little girl. “Do you know about William?” 

 “I know you got divorced, and it wasn’t a friendly split.” You chewed on your lip. “Logan hasn’t said much about him, just that they didn’t get along, and he was happy when you guys separated.” 

 ‘Logan was actually a big reason why we split.” She looked at you, keeping her voice down. “William wasn’t a good guy. I… I saw it, but didn’t see it, you know? Logan tried to tell me, but I didn’t …” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over now, and I was able to save my relationship with my brother, so…” Oh, I never would have… You stayed quiet, eyes on the woman because you were unsure of what to say. “And I have Emily, so it wasn’t all bad.” 

 “She seems like a good kid. Logan talks about her a lot.” She laughed, leaning back against the cushions and tucking both legs beneath her. “You’re on his lock screen.” 

 “Oh, you’ve seen his phone’s lock screen?” She arched an eyebrow at you. “Usually, he won’t let that phone -”

 “I put my number in it for him, before he left the hotel?” Don’t make this out to be more than it is, Juliet. “But after he handed it to me, I got distracted and we were talking, and it went dark, so he had to unlock it again, and it was you guys.” You shrugged. “No big deal.” 

 “I’m just giving you a hard time.” She called out to Emily, the little girl turning her head back toward the two of you. “Tell me when you’re hungry, alright?” With a solemn nod, the little girl turned back to her toys, and Juliet went quiet again. “He’ll be back tomorrow night.” 

 “Logan will?” Why is she telling me this? “He said he was going to be gone for at least a week, so I figured he’d -” Juliet shook her head. 

 “Nope. He got a message out through one of the park’s access points to let us know he was coming home a couple days early.” I hope everything’s … “One of the new clients got sick. It wasn’t anything to do with the park, so it’s not a problem, but he just wasn’t feeling well, so they all decided to head back to Sweetwater.” Sweetwater? “That’s the main entrance. Everyone gets dropped off there, because it’s really tame compared to other parts of the park. They were already close, so instead of spending a night there and then catching the train, they just …” She held up her hands. “Left early.” 

 “I don’t think I could imagine leaving a place like that up until the last possible second.”  You spoke without pause, wincing at the end of your sentence. “I mean, it seems like it would be so overwhelming, so much to see and do.” 

 “It is.” She eyed you. “But the more you’re there, the less… real it gets. You see the cracks, see the … truth.” She gave you a small smile. “I could get you in. It’s not a big deal. Send you off on a weeklong -”

 “Logan said the same thing. He asked me if I wanted to go, and I don’t…” You bit down on the corner of your lip. “I don’t think that’s a place to go alone, Juliet.” You shrugged. “And like I told him, my friends and I aren’t really your target demographic financially, so…” She smiled as you finished. “What?” 

 “He asked if you wanted to go to the park?” Yeah, why? It’s a huge part of his life, of course he’d want to know if I was … “He really does want to be your friend, then.” 

 “What?” But she didn’t answer, as Emily’d made her way over to the woman and put both hands on her leg. 

 “Lunch.” She paused, blinking twice. “Please.” Juliet wrinkled her nose and leaned down, her arms going around Emily’s waist and lifting her, standing in the same motion. 

 “Come on, we can keep talking while I make lunch.” 

 --- 

 You hadn’t gotten to continue your conversation about Logan while Juliet got everything ready, but you hadn’t stopped thinking about what the woman had said. Why does that mean… it shouldn’t… he’s just … 

 The three of you ate outside at the table on the patio, Emily devouring grilled chicken, avocado and fresh fruit while you and Juliet had salads with the same ingredients, and you were surprised at just how relaxed you were. As you ate, your eyes wandered over the yard, landing on the pool where you and Logan had spent the better part of the afternoon before moving to the fire pit, where you’d ended the night before he’d taken you home. We spent all damn day together, and it… 

 By the time Emily was ready to take a nap, you were slightly tired too, and instead of going back inside, you and Juliet stayed on the second patio in the bar area, stretched out on the outdoor furniture. “You going to ask me about it?” Her words interrupted your thoughts, and you turned your head toward Juliet, confused. “What I said about you and my brother?” 

 “About him being my friend?” She nodded. “I hadn’t planned on it, I -” But I want to know.

 “Logan and I grew up really … privileged. My mom had some money, but my dad worked really hard to build Delos from the ground up, and it paid off. He’s an asshole, and wasn’t always the best father - especially to Logan - but he’s a good businessman.” This has nothing to do with … “We had a lot of opportunities that other kids didn’t. Trips and clothes and cars and … and when we were old enough? We took advantage of it.” She eyed you. “Everyone knows about Logan’s teenage years and his 20’s, but mine?” Her eyes closed. “They were just as bad, I was just more private about it.” 

 “Really?” You laughed. “Juliet, I wouldn’t have -” 

 “I didn’t have a lot of the same problems as Logan.” She let out a breath. “He’s always been the better looking one, the … in demand one, the person that …” She fluffed her hair out, head moving back and forth. “Everyone wants Logan, and it’s been like that since we were kids, so he’s always been the focus, especially after our mom died. He’s a couple years older, so everyone paid attention to him, and I was just in the background.” 

 “You wanted people to pay attention to you.” She agreed.

 “I did, but it was exhausting. I had to try to be like him, and for him, it was just … that’s how he was. How he is.” Why does this … she’s… “So I had a couple years where I tried some things and dated some people, and it just … wasn’t what I wanted. I’d had enough of trying to get people to like me in the same way that everyone seemed to like him … so I just stopped.” She’d stood as she spoke, walking back behind the bar and emerging with two large bottles of water, handing one to you. “But Logan’s the opposite. He couldn’t turn it off if he wanted to - so if he was pushing people away, I knew there was something wrong.” 

 “I don’t understand.” She waited until you’d taken a large drink. “How does that -” 

 “You know about his... struggles, right?” She said the words slowly, as if they pained her, but you told her that you did. “So when that all happened? I saw the change in him before anyone else did. It was like he was a different person. I didn’t know what he was doing at first, but I knew something was up. He wasn’t… he was off, even with me, and …” She frowned, staring at the pool’s sparkling surface. “He just wasn’t Logan. It got a little better after William and I got divorced, but everything that he went through? It changed him.” 

 “Juliet, I’m sorry. I still don’t understand.” You wanted to - and didn’t want to offend her by not picking up on what she was saying. “I -” 

 “I know that Logan really wants to be your friend, because he’s treating you the way that he would have treated someone close to him before any of this happened - before William, before the park, before he switched from recreational drug use to … to not caring whether or not he’d wake up after going to bed.” Hearing her put it so bluntly made you gasp, one hand rising to cover your mouth. Oh, Logan. “He doesn’t lie. He always tells the truth and says what he’s really thinking. But that doesn’t mean that he makes an effort, if that makes sense.” She sat up, adjusting her position on the couch to face you. “And with you, he’s making an effort.” 

 “Juliet, we don’t… it’s only been a couple weeks. He’s not doing any -” 

 “No, that’s just it, though.” She licked her lips. “How do I explain this to you without making him sound like a …” Scrubbing a hand over her face, Juliet took a deep breath. “If Logan doesn’t want you in his life, he won’t make any effort to keep you there. He  doesn’t need to, because there’s always going to be someone else to step in, even now.” Even though he’s engaged, you mean. “He’s different now. And I know that I keep saying that, and you have no idea what it …” she swore, and for a second, you felt as though you were sitting outside with Logan and not his sister. “Can I be blunt with you? Like, really blunt?” You nodded, narrowing your eyes. “A few years ago, if you wouldn’t have slept with Logan when he got you and your friend back to that hotel room? You probably wouldn’t have had another chance to spend time with him.” 

 Sucking in a breath, you stared at her. Hearing it makes it sound … “Juliet, I -” 

 “And if you had seen him again? And you’d turned him down a second time?” She laughed, the sound carrying on the warm, dry air. “He would have forgotten about you before he’d even left the room.” She leaned in, her fingertips pressed into the cushions you were sitting on. “I can see it, even now, the way you’re reacting to how I’m… you like him.” 

 “Of course I like him, Juliet, he’s -”

 “That’s not what I mean.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean that you like him, as in you find him attractive and -”

 “He’s engaged, Juliet. It doesn’t matter how good looking I think he is, or how much I like spending time with him. We’re going to be friends, and … that’s it.” She watched you without speaking, waiting for you to continue. “So what changed him? Meeting Ari-” Juliet’s laugh was louder than you’d expected, her eyes closing before her head tilted back. 

 “No, Logan was still… Logan long after the two of them met for the first time.” So he wasn’t sleeping with just her, even after they...

 “But you said he was -”

 “Yes. But he was still my brother, still… himself, under all of the other bullshit. He did what he knew, what he was used to, and that didn’t… to tell you the truth,” she continued, moving closer. “It’s a little strange, even now, to see him so …” She curled her lip. “But sometimes, I think that this Logan? The Logan that we’ve gotten to really know since he got clean and involved in Em’s life? This might actually be the real Logan.” 

 “As opposed to… what?” You were confused, because you knew that in her mind, she was making perfect sense, but to you, she was all over the place. “You seemed to think that him being different was …” 

 “It is a good thing.” Her expression changed, Juliet growing much more thoughtful. “For the most part.” What does … “I love not seeing him trying to hide his arms, or… or not wearing clothes are are slightly too big to hide how much weight he’s lost. Seeing him back where he belongs - at the head of Delos - is something that I hoped for even when I was married to William, and not worrying about seeing him in the tabloids because of someone new, or a scandal  every other week is …” Juliet gave you a smile. “But at what cost?” Cost? What? “Seeing him with Ariella is …” Juliet paused. “You’ll see, if you ever meet her.”

 “Why would I meet his fiancée, Juliet? That doesn’t make any sense. I don’t need to -” I don’t want to meet her, I don’t want to… “From what he says, she isn’t even here often, so there’d be no …”

 “You’re right.” The woman relaxed against the couch cushions, her eyes moving over the yard. “Can I ask you something, though?” She met your eyes again, a serious look in them. “If you’d met Logan, and he wasn’t engaged, what would you …” Is she really asking me this? Is she… 

 You wanted to be honest with the woman. Her affirmation that Logan was, in fact honest - and her willingness to tell you about herself and her life gave you confirmation that the Delos siblings valued honesty above all else. But does it … “I wouldn’t have slept with him after meeting him at Whole Foods, I can tell you that much.” She snorted and you continued. “I knew of Logan before we met, so I would have put two and two together even without the magazines in front of my face, but … I don’t know.” You began picking at the fringe on the hem of your shorts. “I have no interest in being a one night stand, or doing something for a story, or for the … thrill of it.” 

 “So even if he was single, you wouldn’t have tried to -” Shaking your head, you drew your lower lip into your mouth, thinking. 

 “Not right away, no. And if that meant that I lost out on my chance to do more than talk with him?” Your shoulders rose and fell. “I don’t mean I need to be in a relationship with someone for things to be physical, but I don’t make it a habit of picking men up at the grocery store, or sleeping with them while my friends are passed out in the other room.” Taking a deep breath and holding it for a few seconds, you blinked. “And if what you’re saying, and what he says is true, if he’d been single, then he probably wouldn’t even have looked twice at me, because he would have had plenty of options.” You weren’t fishing for compliments, nor were you putting yourself down - it was the truth. “Everyone that Logan’s been seen with is -”

 “Using him.” She spoke plainly, her words surprising you. “He knows it, I know it, my dad knows it … they know it, too. Sure, there mighta been a couple of them that weren’t 100% doing that, but … it doesn’t matter how pretty you are, or how handsome if all you’re going to do is fuck someone for bragging rights. He’s a fucking person, and not one of the Hosts.” Is that really what it’s like for him? What it’s been like for him? “I appreciate you being honest with me.”

 “I have no reason not to be, Juliet.” You took a long drink from your water bottle, thinking. “Same with him. Why would I lie to someone just because I thought it would make me … that’s unnecessary.” You set the bottle down, holding your hands together on your lap. And I’m not a good enough liar. “I’ve got nothing to gain in this, not really. And I definitely don’t want to be another person that hurts him, or takes advantage of him, or …” 

 “I knew I liked you.” She reached forward, checking the time on her phone. “Em’s gonna be waking up in a little while, so we should go back inside, but …” Juliet watched you for a few seconds, her warm brown eyes searching your face. “You’re not like … you know what? I think you’re going to be good for my brother.” Though you appreciated the comment, you felt slight disappointment at it. If she thinks that about me, then what does that say about everyone else he knows? 

 --- 

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[clotpole-art]

dumb opinions no one needs prompted by a WIP:

Agravaine could have been so much more compelling as a villain

he is clever, he is ambitious, he is pragmatic -- he's a cockroach in velvet clothes, good luck getting rid of him

and I do not believe for a second that his character would actually be motivated by something as contrived as "k gonna go kill my nephew after my sister died giving birth to him bc I suddenly care? about this? after, idk, 25 years? I mean I kinda care, I really just want to get with the sexy bog witch/step-niece... but yeah, sister's death 100% the infant's fault, this makes sense"

like what kind of mental gymnastics would it take to get Agravaine thinking Morgana is the 'rightful heir' instead of the only child of his beloved sister? nah, our boy likes power, easiest way to secure that plus help his family name recover would be to legitimately help and advise Arthur

but we need a villain and our villain needs a motive, so

how about, idk: "our family was FINE before those fucking Pendragons came into the picture and then my sister died tragically and my headstrong brother dealt with his grief by challenging the fucking king and dying... our family was completely gutted so yeAH I'M MAD"

(I'm imagining Tristan as the Thor to Agravaine's Loki, fyi)

so both his siblings fall like dominoes and his family house has been hollowed out but he can't really do anything with his grief and rage bc he doesn't have power/access/resources

so it festers

for over two decades

until finally Uther grows ill and the remaining Pendragons have pitted themselves against each other

they're weak enough that he can extract his vengeance and obliterate their family like the Pendragons did his

and how does a clever, ambitious, pragmatic man made dangerous by festering anger do this? by playing both sides and letting them do the heavy lifting

(aka his interactions with both Morgana and Arthur would pretty much stay similar to the show)

Arthur needs someone he can lean on as a new king so he becomes that trusted advisor

Morgana needs access, info, and someone she thinks she can control so he becomes her simpering, pining mole

and frankly, he gives zero fucks which half-sibling succeeds in killing the other first

just that he's close enough, trusted enough, by the remaining sibling so that they'll let their guard down and he can finish them off when the opportunity presents itself

tldr: Agravaine should have been trying to kill both Morgana and Arthur

[honhonluigi]

Hinanami is basically the bland, white-bread version of Naegiri... and so much worse. They really tried to do the whole "put the protagonist with the emotionless stoic girl" but did a terrible job

They didn’t even try to do that, though. The fans did. Chiaki and Hajime don’t have a single real conversation the entire game. He’s not her friend. He doesn’t care about her. Aside from trials and investigations, where they’re focused on solving a murder and they talk to everyone in equal measure, they never speak to each other. Nekomaru spends more time with Hajime than Chiaki does. Hinanami is not canon. Never once in the game is Chiaki implied to mean anything to Hajime at all. He never talks to her. They’re not even friends. It’s the fans who started shipping them and acting like they were best friends. Because Chiaki was a fan-favorite, and fan-favs always get shipped with protags (Ex: Rantaro and Shuichi, who haven’t had a single conversation). Chiaki was supposed to be a fan-fav. She was supposed to be Waifu-bait. But then the cash-grab shitty spinoff anime happened, and they saw how much the fans like Chiaki, so they shipped her with Hajime in the anime. But in the games? Hinanami isn’t even close to canon. Hajime spends more time with literally everyone else except maybe Peko and Hiyoko? He and Chiaki do not have a single authentic conversation. 

I made a whole thesis about this. I wrote a whole god damn paper about how Hinanami isn’t canon. It’s somewhere on this blog if you dig. It’s NOT canon. People only assume that it’s canon because of the anime, which came after the games. And if you think the anime is canon? Well, I’ve got a surprise for you. The anime completely goes against the game canon of everything to do with Despair’s founding, the Kamukura Project, and Junko/Mukuro in general. The anime says Chiaki was a real student at Hope’s Peak, but the game? In the game, both Chiaki and Alter Ego say straight up that she never existed outside the Neo World Program. She wasn’t a real person. The anime isn’t canon. The anime was nothing but fan-service. A cash grab. Completely and utter shit. Would you say the How To Train Your Dragon TV show is more canon than the movies? Fuck no! Same with the anime. The games are canon, not the anime. If Hinanami happened in the animes, it doesn’t fucking matter, because Chiaki didn’t even actually exist in the games. 

Point is, people only assume Hinanami is canon because of the anime. But in the game, there’s nothing to imply that they’re a couple, or even friends. Let’s take a look at DR couples, shall we? There’s three types of DR relationships. We’ll take a brief look into each. 

1. Chapter One Love Interest (AKA: The Red Herring)

You’re probably familiar with this one. It’s the ‘tutorial girl’. You meet them first. They become the protag’s best friend. The MC trusts them. They show the MC around, they get introduced to everyone together, and basically you spend the whole prologue and Chapter 1 getting close to them. You’re supposed to think ‘Oh, they’ll escape with the MC and be their love interest in the end’ even though it’s totally predictable that they end up dying. They end up dying in the first trial because they betrayed the MC by getting involved with a, unsuccessful murder somehow. This was Sayaka and Kaede. (I already went over on this blog why Kaede was a red herring, not a protag. She was only ‘protag’ to avoid people predicting that she would die in chapter 1 like all the other ch 1 friends.) Sayaka is friends with Makoto but ends up trying to kill Leon and getting murdered. Kaede is friends with Shuichi but ends up being executed for trying to kill Rantaro. 

What about Chiaki? Does she fit any of that? Fucking no she doesn’t. After her introduction, Hajime ignores her for all of Chapter 1. And ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, etc etc... But anyway. She’s not his best friend in Ch 1. They don’t talk. She doesn’t get involved in an unsuccessful murder in Ch 1. Who’s Hajime’s friend then? Who shows him around? Who does he trust who ends up betraying him by getting involved in unsuccessful murder during the first trial? Oh yeah-- Nagito. He would’ve died if it wasn’t for his luck saving him. He was supposed to die in his murder, or be executed. But his luck got in the way. Nagito was the chapter 1 love interest. He literally follows the same exact beats as Kaede and Sayaka. But uhhh...Sayaka and Kaede are totally valid love interests, but Nagito isn’t! Why? (Hint: It’s because he’s gay and has a mental illness.) 

2. Plot Twist Love Interest (AKA: The Shady One) 

This love interest comes on after the Red Herring love interest dies in chapter 1. This love interest starts off as being someone that you don’t trust, who avoids you, who acts super shady and suspicious the whole time. They hide things, act cryptic in trials, and know way more than they let on. They act rude sometimes, but also nice and helpful sometimes, to the protag so that MC has no idea how this person feels about them. The MC is curious, but also wary of them. This person ends up disappearing towards the end of the game so that MC doesn’t have access to them anymore. We lose the option for their free-time events at some point. This person disappears because they’re hell-bent on figuring out the mystery behind the killing game. They end up getting involved in some kind of plot to reveal the truth/mastermind/traitor and then it fails, resulting in their death or the death of someone else. This person gets falsely accused of being the mastermind by the rest of the cast. This describes, to a tee, Kyoko. People acknowledge Kyoko as Makoto’s love interest (because she’s a girl!). But this describes Kokichi too. The role that Kokichi and Kyoko play is the exact same in the story. Now, I don’t think that Shuichi was at all in love with Kokichi, but I think Kokichi had a crush on him. (This is why I make a case that Byakuya shouldn’t be in the ‘unholy trinity’. Kyoko should. Byakuya hits none of the plot requirements for that. He’s just a dick. Also, by all rights, Shuichi’s second love interest probably should’ve been Maki. She was shady enough, and he actually had a chance to like her. But fuck that. They did NOT go that route. Abusive comphet KaiMaki all the way, right?)

Anyway, let’s look at Chiaki for this one, shall we? Suspicious? Well, I knew from Ch 1 investigation that she was the traitor, but no one else did. No one in the cast suspects her of a thing the entire time. They’re completely flabbergasted when she hints that she’s the traitor. They all think she’s perfect. No one ever suspects her of a thing. She doesn’t disappear mysteriously. We don’t lose access to her free-time events. She doesn’t look into the mysteries behind the killing game (because she already knew them). She may help in trials, but she’s not cryptic or mysterious about it. She acts super mega ultra fucking rude the MC, but he doesn’t care, and he’s never torn up in puzzlement over “how she really feels about him” the way that Makoto and Shuichi get frustrated with Kyoko and Kokichi. She doesn’t hatch any plot to try and expose the truth. She does everything she can to cover up the truth until Nagito forces it. Which brings me to my next point. Who does this actually describe? Oh-- Wait! It’s Nagito again!! He follows, line for line, the exact same plot that Kyoko does, and so does Kokichi. So...Why is Kyoko the only one who gets to be a love interest instead of a villain? (Hint: Because Nagito and Kokichi are gay and you could argue that both have mental illnesses.) 

The only part of this that Chiaki actually fits is the “knows more than everyone else”. But she doesn’t actually. She doesn’t figure it out because she’s smart, like the other three characters. She knows already because she’s the traitor. She knows more in the way that Sakura, Tsumugi, and Mukuro “knew more”. They were given that information. They are not love interests. And yeah, Chiaki uh...’gets involved’ in a scheme to find out the truth. But not of her own plotting or fruition. It’s Nagito’s plan, and she gets involved because he planned it. In the same way that Makoto ended up taking the fall for Kyoko’s botched first attempt at revealing the truth, too. Makoto, Chiaki, and Kaito took the fall for those plans. They weren’t the cause of them. Makoto only didn’t die because his luck (+ Alter Ego) saved him, just like Nagito’s saved him in ch1. 

3. Side-Character Relationships 

This is the last and third type of DR relationship. The love between side characters, like Taka & Mondo, Tenko towards Himiko, K1-B0 & Miu, Sakura & Aoi, Kaito & Maki. Honestly, you can’t even compare Hinanami to this logic, because Hajime is an MC. But let’s be generous and do it anyway. 

These couples are always super obvious. Since you can’t see them through the eyes of the MC all the time, they’re even more obvious than MC ships. Side-characters in love spend tons of time together outside of trials and investigations. They’re with each other in their free time. They talk about each other all the time. They’re always together. They talk openly about their ‘friendship’ and how much they mean to each other. We get cutscenes showing the love between the two. Even in KaiMaki, which I hate, all of this is present. 

What about Chiaki? Nah. She never talks about Hajime, and Hajime never talks about her. He never even thinks about her at all. He never seeks her out. They never ever have a single conversation in their free time. Unless you, the player, chose to do her free time events, they never talk outside of trials. They don’t seek each other out. They don’t spend any of their free time together. They don’t talk about how much they’re friends or lovers. They’re never together. They only get 2 cutscenes when they’re alone together: one of which is investigating Nagito’s room and revealing a major hint that Chiaki is a robot; the second of which is after she dies, wrapping up the plot that she is, in fact, a robot. These cutscenes don’t serve to show how much they care about each other. These cutscenes aren’t about Hajime at all. He might as well not even be there. It’s not like they have meaningful conversations. It’s just about finishing off Chiaki’s boring story, because it’s required. Compare: Taka & Mondo, whose cutscene is them fucking in the sauna. K1-B0 and Miu, whose cutscene is them fucking in Miu’s lab. Hina and Sakura, whose cutscene is Sakura telling Hina that she loves her. Kaito and Maki, whose cutscenes are them hugging and spending time together bonding over mutual interests. Chiaki’s seem pretty fucking stale compared to those, right? Yeah, because her only cutscenes are about bare-bones investigation and trial shit. Lots of people get investigation cutscenes. Doesn’t make them love interests. Chiaki and Hajime never spend free time together. They never seek each other out, have real conversations, or bond over mutual interests. They only talk during trials and investigations. Let me say this again, because I cannot emphasize it enough: HAJIME DOES NOT EVEN EVER THINK ABOUT HER. 

4. Elements of Any and All DR Relationships 

Now, there are elements of relationships that all DR ships have, regardless of if they involve the MC or not. The two characters spend free time together, outside of investigations and trials. The two characters have plot-related interactions outside of trials and investigations. (This is especially true in cases with the MC. Think how many plot-related scenes we got with Kaede + Shuichi, Sayaka + Makoto, Kyoko + Makoto that happened outside of trials and investigations?) These two characters have at least one heartfelt cutscene alone together. Like I mentioned above, they talk all the time. They think about each other. They talk about each other. Someone always makes a joke about the MC being in love with them. 

Like I already pointed out, Chiaki has none of this. She and Hajime spend exactly 0 free-time together, unless the player forces it to happen themselves. They don’t talk. They don’t have plot-related cutscenes, discussions, storylines, etc outside of trials/investigations. They never speak to each other outside of trials/investigations. They don’t spend time together. They don’t have plots involving each other. They don’t seek each other out. They don’t talk to each other. They don’t even think about each other. And absolutely no one in the cast makes a joke about Hajime and Chiaki getting together. Fun fact: Kazuichi makes more moves toward/thinks more about getting with Chiaki in one scene than Hajime does in the entire game. Another Fun Fact: Nekomaru spends more one-on-one time with Hajime than Chiaki does. Where’s my die-hard fans insisting that Nekomaru x Hajime is indisputably canon?

Who has all of the above criteria? Mikan. Mikan does. She’s infinitely more of a love-interest to Hajime than Chiaki. 

Now I’m gonna go over some popular arguments I see for why Chiaki is a love interest, and I’m gonna destroy them. 

“She’s The Helper Character.” That character doesn’t exist. That’s a fucking lie. Literally everyone talks in trials. Everyone helps in trials. Everyone helps in investigations. There is no singular ‘helper’ character. There’s no assistant. There’s no side-kick. Kaito helps Shuichi in trials. Maki does too. Are they his love interests? Byakuya helps in trials. He’s not Makoto’s love interest. Nagito helps in trials and people are pretty fucking insistent that he’s not Hajime’s love interest. Everyone helps in trials. In a trial/investigation, the MC has to talk to literally everyone. They have no choice. The fact that Hajime talks to Chiaki in an investigation, or listens to her in a trial, is not evidence of him favoring her. Chiaki talking so much in trials and investigations is supposed to be dropping hints at her being the traitor. Not her being a “helper” to Hajime. 

“What About The Swimsuit Scene?” “Hajime was totally drooling over Chiaki in that scene!” Yeah, he was. Because he’s a teenage boy and she was wearing a super slutty bikini. Literally everyone, boy and girl, in that scene looked at Chiaki and went “Jeez Chiaki...That’s a...bold swimsuit.” She wore a skimpy swimsuit and Hajime thought it was hot. So did Kazuichi. Kazuichi drooled over her WAY more than Hajime. Is Kazuichi automatically Chiaki’s love interest? Hajime also drooled over Peko when she walked in. Because he’s a teenage boy, and there’s hot girls in skimpy bathing suits. Also, Hajime talks nonstop through the entire fucking game about how hot and beautiful and amazing Sonia is. And he never once even has a thought about Chiaki. But uh...Nah, Sonia’s not his love interest. It’s totally Chiaki, right? 

“The ‘I’m Taking My Top Off’ Comment.” Yeah, Chiaki said that to Hajime. And Hajime freaked the fuck out. He didn’t want it to happen. He was like “WAIT WHAT!?” He wasn’t “oh fuck yeah, let me see those gamer titties!” Maybe Chiaki was flirting with him, but Hajime definitely didn’t flirt back. At the very least, it shows that he wasn’t expecting it, because he never thinks of her that way. Hajime didn’t respond to that line at all. Also, the only reason Chiaki even said that in the first place is because she was made to be fap-material for Otaku Gamer Bros. So of course they’re going to make her talk about her boobs, give her a slutty swimsuit, and make her boobs three sizes bigger when she wears it. (It’s true! I checked! Also, does this mean that Chiaki is a closet sex freak? Yikes...Well, it’s more interesting than everything else she’s got going on.) Point being, when she brought it up (and she was joking, for a reminder. She wasn’t serious.), Hajime didn’t want anything to do with it.

“Junko blackmails them about ‘The Girl You Love’.” Yeah, okay, I’ve never actually seen people make this argument. And I better never fucking see that. Because it’s so god damn obvious, and stupid. Junko’s lines are basically “you need to hurry up and make a decision, because the bodies of the girl you love and the boy you hate are in the real world wasting away.” She is talking to everyone, but specifically, she’d just been goading Fuyuhiko on about Peko. This line. Is clearly. About Peko. It’s about Peko. It’s not fucking about Chiaki. And I better never see anyone claim this. Why not? Why can’t it be about Chiaki? SHE’S NOT FUCKING REAL!!! She doesn’t have a body! She’s not wasting away! She has no body outside the Neo World Program! This line literally cannot be about her. Even if you go by the anime and say she did exist, she’s still fucking dead, and still doesn’t have a body to waste away in the first place. Chiaki and Alter Ego BOTH say that she doesn’t exist outside the Neo World Program!!!

“Then Why Did She Appear to Hajime in the Last Trial?” Because of plot convenience. That’s all. See, we’re not supposed to know she’s an AI. (Even though it’s incredibly obvious). When she is executed, we’re not supposed to know that she’s an AI programmed by the Future Foundation. We’re supposed to be like “Why did she do that? Why did she say all those weird things? Why was she the traitor?” We’re supposed to have all these unanswered questions. (I mean, I already knew all of that from ch 1, but the game clearly tries to keep you from suspecting Chiaki at all.) So, if she’s dead and executed, how can we finish her story? How are we going to get a chance to wrap up all those unanswered questions? She appears to Hajime and tells him. She reveals it all to him, answers all the viewer’s questions, and finishes her story. That’s it. She appears to him out of convenience to finishing her own plot. Why him? Why him specifically? Is it because they’re in love? Nah bitch, it’s because he’s the main character and the only way the audience could see their questions answered at all is if she appeared to him. She also appeared to Sonia, as Sonia specifically states. Is Sonia her canonical, definite, not-possibly-arguable love interest? No. Sonia’s love interest is Gundham. If seeing Chiaki had something to do with love, then why did she see her too? 

“But Her Free Time Events End With Them In Love.” Yeah, so does everyone else’s. Nagito’s, Akane’s, Kazuichi’s, Mikan’s...Sayaka’s, Toko’s, Kyoko’s...Kokichi’s, Kaito’s...Everyone’s free time events end with them falling in love with the MC. That’s the point of FTEs. That’s the reason why no actual ships are explicitly canon in any DR games. Because they want the player to have the chance to get close to, and pursue a relationship with, whatever characters they choose. That can’t work if that character is dating someone. So they make all FTEs end in love confessions, and they let no ships become canon. You can choose literally any character, go through their free time events, and have them fall in love with you. It’s for the player. It’s not canon. And sure, those FTEs might not specifically end in an outright love confession (like Nagito’s does), but it’s pretty fucking obvious in every single one that you win them over and fall in love. Why do you think you get their underwear? Even Toko, canonically smitten with Byakuya, goes “I’m already in love with master, but...” Sideways glance, smile, “You can think of me if you want...” It exists for the player, and can be done with ANY character. It doesn’t speak to any special privilege for Chiaki. 

And just a couple more things I have to say on this topic:

Hajime didn’t like her. Hajime doesn’t fucking like Chiaki. I’m not gonna say that he hates her, but he definitely doesn’t like her. Whenever he has to talk to her, he’s always thinking about how weird she is, how childish she’s being, and how rude she is for talking over him/falling asleep when he talks. He doesn’t enjoy talking to her. I did Chiaki’s first two FTES, and Hajime hated every god damn second of them. He thinks she’s rude, boring, weird, and childish. He thinks about that stuff any time he’s forced to talk to her. When he finds her diary, he goes “God, this is awful, it’s like a five-year-old wrote it.” Why would you think that he likes her??? (You know who Hajime really fucking despises? Gundham. God, talk to Gundham and read Hajime’s thoughts. He’s fucking brutal. This guy has a huge beef...)

So Who’s Hajime’s Actual Love Interest?  

Everybody!!! This is actually a theory I cooked up. I think each MC gets a ch 1 love interest (Sayaka, Nagito, Kaede), and then a second plot-twist love interest, but it happens in different ways each time. Kyoko and Makoto get together all nice and neat. Shuichi has a second love-interest who likes him, but Shuichi absolutely does not like him back. Hajime’s second love interest? Everyone. Hajime has this kind of curse where the second someone captures his interest/gets interested in him, they die. I noticed in the game that they’d push characters on Hajime hardcore, and then kill them the next chapter. Now, this happens in every game. But in Hajime’s case, they weren’t just pushed on him as characters. They all flirted with him. One of the reasons why I think almost everyone in the class had a crush on Hajime. First, it’s Nagito, and Impostor confides in Hajime and Teruteru flirt with him too. Then, they either get killed or get taken away (and chained up for three days without food, water, or bathroom access). Next, Mahiru starts flirting with Hajime by bossing him around and always seeking him out. I don’t think Hajime liked her back, but she liked him. And then she dies. After that, Mikan flirts with Hajime, spends time with him, gets cutscenes cuddling with him, hits on him, and other people even make jokes about them fucking. Then she dies. Hajime becomes closer friends with Ibuki, then she dies. Hajime starts to get close to Nagito again. Then he goes crazy and dies. Hajime showed a ton of interest in Sonia, but then she goes for Gundham. Hajime gets close to Kazuichi, but then he goes for Sonia. Hajime is cursed. I think everyone in the game got an inkling of being Hajime’s love-interest before they died/got taken away. With the exceptions of Peko, Hiyoko, Gundham, Akane, Fuyuhiko, and Nekomaru. I think they give Hajime a person who he likes/likes him, and then immediately take them away before any relationship can be formed. 

Now, I guess this is the time where you could make a case that Chiaki fits. “Well, he gets close to her, and then he loses her!” But actually, that kind of doesn’t fit. He gets close to her only after she’s already dead. And he’s only ‘close to her’ for one conversation, after she’s already dead. He doesn’t get to spend any quality time with her before she dies. Even if you wanted to make that claim, it still wouldn’t make Chiaki any more of a love interest than Mahiru or Teruteru or Impostor. She wouldn’t be the one-and-only, indisputable, only option for Hajime. Based on evidence in the game, I don’t think Hajime actually had a crush on Teruteru, Impostor, or Mahiru. I think they liked him, but I don’t think he ever would’ve liked them back. And that’s the only way I can see Chiaki being even a little bit his love interest. In this world, where pretty much everyone gets to be his love-interest at some point. In a world where she crushes on him but he doesn’t like her back. Because he doesn’t. That’s obvious in his thoughts and actions. (He reacts worse to Peko and Fuyuhiko’s execution than he does to Chiaki’s, btw.) 

But I really don’t think she’s his love interest. She’s definitely not “the” love interest. She’s not the only one. She’s not the “canon” one. She’s not his canon love interest at all. That’s not at all what the evidence in the game points to. 

If my crackpot theory isn’t true, then I’d say Hajime’s love interests are Nagito and/or Mikan. Maybe Sonia. They’re the ones that he actually spends time with, and have all of the criteria that are set by literally every other DR couple. He has none of that with Chiaki. Honestly, I think Nagito is the more prominent love interest. I think Mikan and Sonia definitely had their spots too, but Nagito fills the role of both first and second love-interest. He hits literally every single beat of Kaede and Sayaka, but also of Kyoko. Whether or not Hajime loved him by the end is debatable. Sometimes I doubt it. But he loved him at first, and Nagito loved Hajime the whole time. And Hajime was destroyed after Nagito’s death. But even though Nagito hits every single point of being a love interest compared to Sayaka, Kaede, and Kyoko...He’s still not allowed to be a valid love interest for Hajime. If you think Komahina is canon, then you’re just “biased”. You’re just looking “through your shipping goggles.” Even though Nagito’s story is literally both kinds of love interest mixed together. Nah, nah, nah. Who cares about evidence? Clearly I’m just biased. Clearly I’m just “using shipping goggles” to see what I want to see. Because... *looks at smudged writing on hand* Hinanami, the ship with no evidence at all, it definitely 100% canon and Komahina, the ship with all the evidence you could ask for, could never be canon at all. I’m just stupid. Right? Right. And why? Because Nagito is a gay guy with a mental illness!!!!!

I despise KaiMaki, but I still acknowledge that it’s at least partially canon because it was in the game. But I don’t acknowledged Hinanami, because it was never canon. It was never even hinted at. Nobody better come onto my blog arguing that Hinanami is canon in the fucking slightest. I can’t deal with that bullshit. It’s not canon. This is my second essay on the subject. (I wrote a huge essay listing all the reasons they weren’t canon, and yet I was still able to find MORE evidence against them for this one? Wow, that’s a lot of proof that they aren’t indisputably canon.) I’m fine if you want to ship them. You can be like “they had a lot of potential for a relationship!” You can be like “I think Chiaki had a crush on him!” or “I think Hajime would’ve liked her!” That’s fine. You can do that all you want. Like any other DR ship. But don’t go around being like “NO, it’s DEFINITELY canon!!! No other ship is canon because Hinanami is canon and it’s completely indisputable! You’re wrong and stupid!!” It’s not canon. No DR ship is canon. You can ship them but please, do it like any other DR ship. Ship them because you saw potential, but don’t cram it down everyone’s throat as ‘must be canon’. 

Hinanami is the only ship that does that. It’s the only ship that is insisted to be 100% canon with no disputing evidence whatsoever. People dispute Kaede and Shuichi. People dispute Kaito and Maki. People dispute Kyoko and Makoto all the fucking time. Every other ship is flexible, except that one. “Hinanami is the only canon ship and no other ship is valid or matters, you can’t ship Hajime with anyone else, all the other ships pale in comparison because Hinanami is so canon, and you’re just a biased delusional idiot if you ever dare to imply otherwise!!!” Stop it. It’s not canon. I should be able to make a valid case for another ship without being immediately shot down because of Hinanami. No other DR ship does that. Quit. I hate seeing everyone insisting that it’s canon. Acting like it’s just “common sense” that it’s canon. It’s not. There’s no fucking evidence for it AT ALL. But it makes me feel like a crazy person whenever I see people insisting that, as if I’m the only one who missed the scene where they fucked without protection or something. If everyone is allowed to dispute literally every other ship, then it should be the same for Hinanami. The “canon” ship with absolutely -67% evidence towards it. 

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Hello if you don't mind could I ask you to do something with Alfie (I love all your Alfie pieces) I was looking at the prompt lists you posted recently and I was thinking that they are not together but obviously like each other she is working for him. And one day Alfie starts joking around with her and she says something thing about the beard and he starts kinda play wrestling her and tickling her with the beard on her neck or whatever which ends up leading to their first kiss. Hope you like the idea.

//I hope this is kind of what you were looking for! Enjoy!

            To the outside world, Alfie was a cold-hearted, sarcastic, violent man. But those who worked in the bakery knew that this wasn’t all true. Of course, he had a penchant for doling out punishments when he saw fit and the sound of him yelling was a common occurrence. Yet a new side to him began to show when he took on a secretary. She was the niece of a family friend. A girl he grew up with on the streets of Camden. Someone he used to know so well but lost contact with after he began working and especially after he left for war.

            Initially, Alfie was hesitant to bring on a woman. He lived in a man’s world, not just by running rum but in a traditional community of Orthodox Jews. But apparently, some of the Camden women were taken by the new age of the ‘20s and wanted to venture out of the home.

            Including Theresa who Alfie hired after meeting her for the first time. He didn’t consider him to be very shallow, but he appreciated beauty.

            And she was beautiful. Alfie wasn’t sure he ever realized how beautiful she was. There were times when they passed each other on the street and gave one another a brief hello. But she truly had grown into herself

            Alfie chalked it up to being a sinner. He was a sinner so he would want a beautiful woman around. What he didn’t realize was that he wanted Theresa around because she was a bright light in an otherwise dreary spot of London. She had always been a cheery person. Alfie couldn’t ever remember her being in a foul mood when they were children. She always seemed to be content even if they were poor.

            She made it very apparent on her first day that she hadn’t changed much. She brought in a little bouquet of flowers to liven up her desk outside of Alfie’s office.

            Alfie sighed, watching her set the vase down with care. “She’s gonna be eaten alive here.” He muttered under his breath.

            But later that day, he passed by her as she was trying to work a hole punch.

            “For fuck’s sake.” She hissed at the contraption.

            Alfie snorted.

            Theresa’s head shot up with a look of embarrassment. “Oh, Alfie, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were standing there.”

            He chuckled. “Love, there ain’t nothing you could say that would make me blush.” He informed her. “Just didn’t expect that from you.”

            “Me?” She raised an eyebrow. “We were raised the same way. I’m sure we were both swearing before our mums could do anything about it.”

            That put a smile on his face. “I remember the first time you swore in front of your mum. She was convinced the devil had gotten a hold of you.”

            Theresa giggled. “That poor woman.”

            Alfie paused for a moment. It wasn’t completely rare that he would strike up a conversation with his employees. He chatted with Ollie and some of the others who had been working for him for a while. He knew their families well, so he respected them for their hard work. But Theresa was much more and he felt stupid that he hadn’t realized that before. This was the girl he was raised with.

            He wasn’t sure whether to be at ease or nervous about the sort of feelings bubbling up inside him. So, he quickly excused himself.

~~~

            As time went on, the longer Theresa worked there, Alfie realized he couldn’t walk away from those feelings. There was a clear playfulness to their relationship. Alfie felt like a kid again around her and Theresa certainly wasn’t afraid of him like most people were.

            But he couldn’t help but feel a little foolish. Theresa was still the bright, uplifting person she had been since childhood. Alfie was now just a grumpy bag of bones who made God extremely angry with every breath he took. At least, that’s what he thought. He didn’t think there were any remnants of the young man he once was. Well, aside from being a troublemaker. He had been one since birth.

            But none of this seemed to bother Theresa. In fact, she was making it very difficult to stay away. She had a habit of making him laugh like no one else ever could. Not to mention when she noticed he wasn’t happy, she tried to ease his burden a bit.

            Despite Alfie’s reluctance, the relationship blossomed very naturally as the year progressed.

~~~ 

            Come springtime, Theresa was in Alfie’s office helping him with his ledger.

            Not too long after they began, Alfie noticed she was catching glances much more frequently than she usually did.

            “Something wrong?” He asked.

            “Oh, no.” She shook her head, not really embarrassed that he was calling her out. “I just was thinking about how it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you without a beard. You never had one before the war.” She remembered.

            “Yeah.” He consciously ran a hand over his right cheek. “Covers up the worst of me scar, don’t it?”

            “No, I didn’t mean I didn’t like it.” She clarified. “It was just something I was thinking about.” She shrugged.

             “Yeah?”

            “Do the women you’re with complain about it being scratchy?” She asked coyly.

            He gave her a funny look. “Do you see me frolicking about with women? You’ve worked here long enough to know I barely have time to breathe.”

            She smiled. There was no use in denying that Theresa enjoyed toying with him a bit. It made her day a bit more fun knowing she could flirt with him and he would either get flustered or send it right back her way. Even though she wanted something more with him, she figured the most she would get was harmless flirting.

            “Or maybe it’s the beard.” She replied casually.

            He narrowed his eyes at her. It was clear she was playing with him. “You’re in a feisty mood today, aye?”

            She didn’t answer. “I suppose it makes you appear older. More manly maybe.”

            “Oh,” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his desk chair as he eyed her. Almost as if he was trying to figure out her strategy, find out what her game plan was, or what she wanted out of the interaction. “So, I weren’t manly ‘til I grew a fucking beard.”

            “When you didn’t have the beard, I could still beat you up.”

            “Now that, yeah, is utter horseshit. There weren’t ever a time you could beat me up.”

            She laughed. “Oh please, I could pin you to the ground better than your own brother could.”

            “Well, that’s just rich.” He shook his head. “I’ll let you believe what you want, love.”

~~~           

            But Theresa wasn’t done. She waited until most of the men in the bakery had gone home. Since Alfie worked late most nights, it would be perfect. She came into his office and shut the door behind her.

            He was at his filing cabinet and nodded at her.

            She didn’t say anything, just came up beside him and poked him right under his ribs where she knew he was ticklish. Just as when they were children, Alfie nearly doubled over and stifled a snorting laugh.

            “Oi!” He caught her hand before she could get him again. “Little minx, you tryna give me a heart attack?”

            She giggled. “Still the same boy, aren’t you?”

            Alfie could argue that he wasn’t. He could list off all the things he had done. The horrible deeds he’d been up to ever since the war. But there was a sparkle in Theresa’s eyes that made his knees weak.

            So, he grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. “Yeah, same boy that you used to wrestle, aye? You’d tear your stockings and your mum would chew us all out. Saying we were leading you astray.”          

            “Alfie!” Theresa laughed as he plopped her down on top of his desk.

            “Told her that it weren’t us. Nah, it was you the whole time. Always stirring the pot.” He stood in front of him with his hands on his hips but a faint smirk on his face.

            “You never complained.” She replied cheekily.

            He shook his head. “No one could find a single thing to complain ‘bout you.”

            Theresa chewed on her lip, thinking for a moment before she made up her mind. She stood up and stepped toward Alfie.

            For a moment, he thought she was going to make another go at him, but then she touched his cheek gently. She searched his eyes, waiting for him to push her away. But instead, he nodded and kissed her.

            Everything sank away. Theresa wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss with a soft sigh.

            Alfie’s brain was going haywire. A million different reasons for abandoning her flooded his mind. She would be better off, he was a terrible person, nothing good would come to her, everyone would think ill of her, he would be using her.

            But there was one good reason to keep her near. He loved her.

            He placed a hand on the small of her back to bring her flush against him. Never again did he want her to be so far. Having her close felt far too good to give it up.

            When Theresa drew away, she looked happier than he’d ever seen her before. “I don’t think I mind kissing you with the beard.” She said playfully. “In fact, I kind of like it.”

            He chuckled and pecked her lips again. “So that’s that, then?”

            “I suppose so.” She lightly ran her fingers through his unruly hair. “Although, I never expected you to, well I just thought that you would never want to be with me.”

            “Yeah? What gave you that idea?” He asked.

            “I don’t know. I just thought maybe you would want a woman who’s more…dangerous. Not some silly girl like me.”

            Alfie smoothed a thumb over her cheek, taking in how soft her skin was compared to his calloused hands. “You are a silly girl for ever thinking that’s the case.” He murmured. “This is a job, love. Why would I want to come home to someone who’s just like work, aye? I want to come home to someone loving and warm. Thoughtful and funny and…” He felt like he was losing himself in her yearning gaze. “What I mean is, I want someone like you. I want you. Just didn’t think you would ever want someone like me.”

            “Then you are a silly man for ever thinking that’s the case.” She replied. “I want every part of you, Alfie.”

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama 3

For anyone who hasn’t realized, we keep changing perspectives. Time to hear from Nikolai!!!

(I’m writing this instead of my book. Help.)

Lamia designs/species belong to @vex-bittys

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           Nikolai narrowed his eyesockets at the two intruders: a stranger and Keith. Keith had – presumably – been broken of his tendency to eat eggs and the occasional youngling long ago, but Nikolai was taking no chances with the brood. Bitties and full sized lamias alike were chirping and hissing in the nursery, some waiting for siblings to hatch, and Nikolai would violently murder anyone who harmed them.

           His mighty glare and splayed hood was enough to get the human to slowly back out of the room, door clicking shut. Keith however was either unphased or just really good at hiding it. Honestly no one, not even Hux, was sure which anymore.

Keith’s eyelights went to the squirming children in Nikolai’s grip and he chuckled, “You, uh, need an extra hand?”

“No,” Nikolai hissed despite very much needing one. One of the baby pygmies had managed to wrap around his neck, little hands trying to catch the lights inside his eyesockets. Nikolai – and most everyone in all honesty – would never tolerate this in most cases, but they were literally just hatched yesterday, they hardly knew better. Another pygmy was hiding under his shirt and trying to squirm into his ribcage while his hands were full with the remaining baby who was hell-bent on trying to investigate this New Thing. They were so curious, it was adorable, but sometimes it gave him a heart attack. Keith could probably be trusted, sure, but maybe he was wrong if he was bringing random strangers into the nursery.

“You sure?” Keith asked, a grin splitting his face and a hand coming up over his mouth as he clearly tried to stifle laughter.

“Yes.”

           King lets out a clearly very dignified yelp as the Pygmy’s hand reaches its goal, shoving itself into his eyesocket. Instinct alone keeps him from dropping the baby in his hands, though he has to quickly resituate the squirming child to free up a hand so he can remove the philanges from his eyesocket. (He opts to ignore Keith’s bouts of laughter at his plight, unhelpful ass). He loudly hisses in warning – not that he’d ever hurt the kid, but he couldn’t very well let this be considered acceptable – and sternly says, “No.”

           The Pygmy cries out in protest, hands flailing about in an attempt to get inside his skull again. Nikolai sighs and puts him in the Time Out Tank. Nothing cruel of course, it’s plenty big for a baby lamia, having a small tree to climb on, some sand, and a few plants, but the Pygmy starts yelling and pushes himself to the glass.

           Nikolai rolls his eyes, “You need a nap.”

           “Oh my god you’re such a mom,” Keith wheezed between laughter.

           “Well someone has to be.” Technically they had handlers for this, volunteers and workers to help socialize the children, but they didn’t know how to do it right! No, clearly this was a job for a King. Alesha was too soft on them, Katlyn thought giving week old hatchlings a phone was considered acceptable, Josh had a bad habit of losing track of bitties (though Nikolai would reluctantly agree he was good with the full sized children), and Drew should really get another job because he can’t handle even a baby bitty baring fangs at him; he’d been here one week and everyone was already questioning his life choices.

           Nikolai put the other two Pygmys back with the rest of their kind. It was a full sized playpen with a bunch of toys to stalk, wrap around, and chew on. Nikolai could watch them all day, but there were far more than just them after all, and he had a discussion to have…

           “Keith. What exactly were you thinking?” Nikolai hissed. The words what the fuck were on the tip of his tongue, but they were in a room full of children.

           “About what?” Keith said.

           “Don’t play dumb.”

           “Don’t have to play dumb.”

           Nikolai rolled his eyes, massaging the bones between his eyes. “What in the world would possess you to bring someone back here?” They would’ve told him if there was a new worker or volunteer coming in, right?

           “I mean, hey, they have to get used to people, right? She’s a bit weird, but seems sweet,” Keith said, shrugging his shoulders and idly watching some Bitty Cornies fuss as they all tried to take a nap on the same heat rock, squirming about and pushing each other off with offended little hisses and chirps.

           “And you’ve known her how long?” Nikolai said. He didn’t recognize her scent at all, but maybe it was an online friend? Still, that’s dangerous if they only just met for real.

           “Uh…” Keith looked to the side, huffing. “She wants to play DnD with us dude. Figured I’d take her around and say hi. We’ll get to know her.”

           Nikolai sighed, putting his hand on his face. “So you don’t know her.”

           “Nah.”

           “You could’ve asked me to step outside to meet her.” He cared for Keith, he did, but this was idiocy…

           Maybe too much idiocy. Keith could be a bit odd sometimes, but he wasn’t stupid. Or at least not stupid enough to bring a stranger into the nursery, not unless his master plan was to try to get her mauled. Oh sure, he was friendly and generally pretty relaxed (save for the random bouts of “zoomies”), but not unwary or naïve. So what in the world would get into him to just immediately accept some random person…

           Oh.

           Nikolai’s eyes widened as something clicked in his mind. “Is she yours then?” He was well aware of Chains’ soul bonds. He’d raised no small number of them, hugging them goodbye as they left with happy partners in a process that always felt too fast, but he rarely heard of any ill relations or had one returned, something he couldn’t say the same for with other breeds. Maybe he didn’t understand it fully, maybe he’d never have the instant connection and magical bond, but he was happy for them, really.

           “I literally just met her,” Keith said in a blatant not-answer.

           “… She is, isn’t she?” Nikolai said. He smiled softly, going over to hug Keith close, coils entangling and all forgiven. That said, his soul hurt at the idea of Keith leaving. Nikolai had only been a preteen himself when Keith first hatched, they’d practically grown up together. After all these years, it’d just seemed like Keith would be there permanently, holding DnD for himself and others until he got too old to do so. But asking him to stay was cruel, the very thought stirring up guilt. He should be happy for Keith, right? The old snake had finally found his person, this was great! They’d miss him terribly, but it wasn’t fair to force him to stay…

           Keith sighed, relaxing into Nikolai, “Yeah.” He didn’t sound all too thrilled.

           “… Is something wrong?”

           “I dunno. Like, I guess I’ve found her or something, at least it feels like it, but it’s not like I want to leave.”

           Nikolai’s soul jumped in his chest, but he kept his desire to grin giddily down. “You don’t have to stay, you know?”

           “I mean, that’s her call, right? Doubt the working people would let me keep homing here if they knew. She hasn’t said anything yet though, so who knows. Maybe I’m defective.”

           “You’re not defective!” Nikolai snapped, rubbing the back of Keith’s head. “If anything, she’s the problem then!” He would NOT allow this woman to make Keith feel bad about himself, intentionally or not.

           Keith chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, guess you have a point there. I don’t think she’s bad though, but guess we’ll play it by ear? Or, uh, whatever we have. Still not sure how that works.”

           “Magic.”

           “Yeah, that.”

           Nikolai chuckled, loosening up around Keith. “So… she’s playing DnD with us then?”

           “Yeah. Or, well, we’ll have to work everything out still. She can’t play too late, has to get up early, and I figure maybe we can start a side-campaign with her? If everyone’s down for it.”

           “I’ve been wanting to try some new characters anyways,” Nikolai said. A perfect compromise then. Keith and his person would get a chance to bond over something they apparently both enjoyed, Nikolai wasn’t about to take that away from him. “I should probably apologize to her on that note. I might’ve overreacted…”

           “Nah, you couldn’t have known. I should’ve warned you that I was going to do something stupid,” Keith said with a grin, shrugging. “Whatcha thinking of playing?”

           “I’m considering broadening my horizons some. Getting out there. Maybe a Rogue. Or a Barbarian.” Both were a far cry from the life clerics and paladins he personally preferred, but maybe it’d be fun to do something a little more… destructive.

           Keith whistled, “Daaaaang, you really are looking to branch out. Proud of you Nick.”

           Nikolai straightened up a little, flaring his hood just enough to show off. “Why thank you.”

           “Now c’mon, let’s go say sorry and round up the rest. I sent Hux to look for Liam, that leaves Trousle.”

           Because they all knew Oozy was in his hammock.