#like in my head shane stops drinking and just happens to have a messy room and clint’s crush on emily isn’t that glaringly weird post-

[zamalie]

sometimes i feel like the only person on the planet who doesn’t take engine limitations or weird meta stuff as canon

[wetookanoath]

AU where “my buddies pranked me when I went skinny dipping and they stole my clothes and I only have a towel but you thought I was a robber and you told me to put my hands up but I dropped the towel and I don’t know if you’ll shoot me or taser me if I try to pick it up and you can’t see because I’m behind a tree but you’re telling me to step out wtf do I do”

“Oh dear lord, you are naked!”

The surprise in the man’s voice was almost offensive. Ryan swallowed, feeling his body tremble. Dammit, he hadn’t noticed before, when he had his clothes and his dignity as he and his friends made their way to the dock of the lake.

He should had known better, looking back at their stupid Uno game. Ryan should had known Dany and the boys were gonna pull one on him once they chose his punishment for loosing the world’s longest Uno game in history.

“You are jumping naked into the lake!” Dany had declared, and that was the moment Ryan should had say no, he should had realized what the real plan was.

It was the most common joke in the universe, something he himself had done to Dany back in college, and now he was naked, balls frozen, wet and certainly catching a cold, with his arms up because someone had caught him traspassing private property.

“Where you…? What? What where you trying to do all naked in the middle of the night?” The guy asked, slowly walking towards Shane with his taser and light up. “Do you always robb balls out?”

“I’m not– I’m not thief, for the last fucking time!” Ryan yelled, desperation so clear in his voice it would be embarrassing if his ass wasn’t bare. “Can I just… please, let me pick my towell!”

The guy moved his hand, indicating just that to Ryan who immediatelly took the towell and put it back around his waist as best he could. Dany had chosen to leave him with the smallest one, the bastard, and Ryan hadn’t feel so inclining to murder in his entire life.

Just let him find those idiots again…

“Shane!” He heard a woman yell, Ryan looked up at the cabin he had tried to walk to for help. “It’s everything alright?”

“I think!” The guy answered. Shane. Ryan swallowed and took a good look at his profile– he had glasses and messy hair, a beard and flannel. Like a hipster version of a fucking lumberjack. “God back inside, I’ll be there in a moment!”

He gave a step back, ready to fucking run into the other direction before the man could tase him or something– but Shane looked at him, slowly lowered his taser and walked towards him until Ryan could see his face.

“You look like the typical college jock whose friends left in the lake without clothes.” Shane declared, his words falling on Ryan like cold water. Again. “You need a phone? Maybe a sweater? Pants? All of the above?”

“All of the avobe would be nice, sir.”

Shane chuckled, shaking his head as he stepped in a few inches closer. Ryan looked at that face– the tin of his pink lips, the frekles on his cheeks and the beauty marks on him, his lashes were pretty, his eyes shone in a way he had never seen before.

He looked like the kind of guy who wouldn’t even kill a fly.

Which… didn’t gave him the best of ideas after having seen Psycho with the guys. Hipster lumpberjack has a cabin in the woods and appears with a taser in the middle of the night? No, thank you.

“Come on, let’s get inside so you can get some warmth.” Shane suggested, moving aside to let him walk with him. “Sara made some cocoa, you can have some.”

Sara. Must be the girl that talked to him earlier.

“Th-thanks!”

**

Sara was, in fact, the woman who had spoke to Shane before. She was a tiny girl with big hair that talked gently and hide her laughther for Ryan’s situation when she heard what had happened. The rest of the girls in the cabin couldn’t, though.

In fact, the place was filled with girls, huge signs and party ornaments let Ryan know he had interrumpted a Bachelorette party and the jokes about his nakedness and someone calling in a stripper for the lesbian wedding actually made him laugh once he was dressed and warm in Shane’s big ass clothes.

The girls let him stay when his friends didn’t answer their phones, Ryan supposed they may as well be scared shitless at the fact that they couldn’t find him in the lake after their stupid prank.

Which… good. They deserved the fear of having to tell his mother they had lost their son.

“No offense,” Ryan said as he saw Shane puring him a drink once his cocoa was out, “but why are you in the bachelorette party? You are, like, the only guy… aside from me.”

“Oh, I am the stripper.” He answered simply, Ryan’s eyes opened wide as his mouth but before he could say anything, Shane started to laugh, passing the glass to him.

His eyes had turned into half moons in a way that made him look younger and bright, Ryan thought it endearing. This man that almost tased him, that had acted as if Ryan’s dong wasn’t showing in the middle of the woods, was actually just some kind and sweet nerd.

“No, no. I’m sorry– Bad joke.” Shane said, sighing before looking at Ryan once he had put his elbows on the bar at the kitchen. “I’m Sara’s Best Man, and also this is my cabin.”

“It’s yours?” Ryan asked, then took a sip of the drink. Shane nodded his head. “That’s cool. You live out here in the woods?”

“No… not really.” He said. “I spend some time here, do some work, then go back to the city!”

“Oh,” He blinked a couple of times, “What… what do you do?”

Shane looked at him, his eyes never leaving Ryan’s. His stare was neutral but something in the depth of his eyes had Ryan feeling naked all over again. It was as if Shane knew him since forever and could see through him, know all his screts with just one look.

He swallowed, Shane smiled at him and held his own chin in one hand.

“I study wild life. Write some essays and books about them. Do some videos for YouTube… and some ASMR, also for YouTube.”

“Oh.” Ryan moved his head to one side. “Really?”

“Yep!” Shane answered, moving to make himself a drink. “What about you? Still in college? Or are your friends just stuck in college?”

“Oh, I think we brought back some ghosts this weekend. Holy shit…” Ryan said, taking another sip of his drink as Shane laughed and finished preparing his. “No, I’m a video producer, I’m working for… you know, the Try Guys?”

“Sure, of course.” Shane said, looking at Ryan with complete interest. “You work with them?”

“Yeah…” Ryan answered, swallowing. Shane seemed genuinely impressed. “A friend and I, we– we’ve been seeing some people and stuff. To open our own company.”

“Oh!” Shane held his drink between them. “Cheers for you guys! That’s amazing!”

Laughter erupted in the living room where the girls had started a game of Never Have I Ever between them. Ryan smiled at the sight, slowly looking back at Shane who was still watching them, a sweet smile on his face made him look like  proud big brother seeing his sister getting married.

For the interactions he’ve seen tonight, Shane and Sara were close, and so were Shane and Kelsey, her future wife. It was a nice picture, these ladies having fun, and they had the luck to witness it with good drinks.

Shane looked back at him, showing his drink again before they clicked glasses together and drank at the same time. 

This was… really nice.

**

“It’s late.” Shane announced, looking at his clock on his wirst.

Ryan nodded and looked at the cabin’s phone, ready to try again and call his friends, but Shane put a hand on his shoulder before he could go.

“Why don’t you stay?” Shane asked. “It really is late, going out to the woods right now doesn’t sound like the best of ideas.” 

“Uh,” Ryan blinked a couple of times, then looked at where the girls were getting ready for the night.

For what Shane had told him, he could just take the guest room as they were staying in the living room, like a sleepover from childhood. He could also take Shane’s bed.

He swallowd, but nodded.

**

Dany almost cried on the phone when Ryan called to let him know he was staying with his rescuers. After the milliont I’m Sorry, Ryan finally got to calm him down, telling him it was fine, they would talk the next day.

By the time his friend asked him if the hipster lumberjack was hot with that tone that indicates he’s being called a horny bitch, Ryan hang up the phone with warmth cheeks.

Shane smiled at him from the living room and, holy shit– 

Yeah. Yeah, the hipster lumberjack that makes ASMR was hot.

**

The lights were off in the living room but they could still hear some of the girls’ giggling, Kelsey telling them out loud to shut up and let them sleep since tomorrow they will all have hangovers the size of Idris Elba’s biceps (more laughter came after). 

Ryan followed Shane into the hallway that lead to the rooms, and sighed when they stopped between two doors that were one in front of the other.

“So, here’s the guests room.” Shane showed him the one on the left, then signaled the one door in front of them between the rooms. “Bathroom.” Ryan nodded, then followed his finger to the next door. “And this is my room.”

“Uh, okay–”

“Where I’m going to change into my, what did you called me?” Shane said, Ryan frowned and started to feel his cheeks warmth yet again, “Hipster lumberjack? Well, I’m gonna change into my hipster lumberjack pajamas… and then in five minutes, you can come in and take them off.”

Ryan stared at him for a few seconds, but Shane only winked at him with a wicked smile before getting into his room, leaving the door slightly open.

He heard a giggle in the livin room and Ryan blinked, finally, processing what Shane had said, what he was inviting him to and– it had been a while, to be honest. This was a nice guy he just met in the weirdest of ways, and… 

“To hell with it.” He decides, opening the door of Shane’s room.

All they could probably hear in the livin room was Shane’s laugh as Ryan entered and closed the door behind him.

[ddixons-angel]

Fated: Season 1

Summary: Gloria Rhee narrowly escapes Atlanta with her brother as the outbreak reaches the city. Luckily, they find a camp outside the city and together, they fend through encounters with the living and undead.

Starts a little before Season 1 and then follows the main storyline of the show.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Glenn Sister!OC

Warnings: major TWD spoilers, language, violence (the typical TWD stuff), implied smut/sex

Word Count:

A/N: Okay so I’m kinda nervous about this chapter! This is the last chapter of Season 1, and I think I’m just going to keep posting without a break so Season 2 will be starting to roll out next week Monday! I also have another fic idea I’m working on so I might be posting two things at once? Or would that get messy? Let me know what you think! 

Chapter 8:

The giant metal doors to the CDC started to open for the group to enter. Rick looks around to his family and the others with a grin before turning around and leading everyone inside. The group follows Rick hesitantly and wary of their surroundings, the kids looking around in curiosity and awe as if they’re on a field trip. 

“Who are you people?” a man in a white lab coat asks them, looking at them warily. 

“Survivors.” Rick answers simply.

“What do you want?” the man questions again, looking at everyone filing into the large room.

“A chance.” Rick replies, eyeing the man. 

“That’s asking an awful lot these days.” he spots Carl and Sophia then his features soften, “you’ll each need to do a blood test, that’s your price of admission.”

Rick nods, “we can do that.” 

The man allows the group to enter, introducing himself as Dr. Jenner, the only person in the entire C.D.C. facility. He explains that everyone else either left for home or committed suicide, ‘opted out’ as he put it. He answers the questions the group has for him and looks over to Carl when he voices that he’s starving.

“You know what little man, you’re all free to help yourselves to the food storage just down the hallway.” Dr. Jenner smiles at him as the boy gleems happily. 

The others take Dr. Jenner’s offer gratefully, feasting and drinking to their hearts’ content. Everyone but Gloria is happily eating and conversing amongst themselves, although she does pay attention to the conversations and Daryl trying to get Glenn drunk. 

“You better not throw up on me.” Gloria says as she pushes him away from her, Glenn always gets clingy when he drinks.

“My baby sister!” Glenn grins as he wraps his arms around Gloria, slurring his words and giggles to himself.

She rolls her eyes and playfully glares at Daryl, “see what you caused?”

Daryl laughs and takes another swig of the large whiskey bottle in his hand. The others laugh, amused at Glenn’s drunken state and Gloria’s failed attempts to get him off of her. As quickly as it started, the mood is killed when Shane continuously questions Dr. Jenner about whether there even is a cure. 

“Ugh, you are such a buzzkill.” Glenn groans, now fully leaning on Gloria for support. 

“Alright, time for bed, let’s go.” Gloria says as she gets up with Glenn’s arm around her shoulders, supporting him as he isn’t able to even stand up properly. 

The rest of the group retreats to wash up and get ready for the night as well. Gloria escorts Glenn to the washrooms where Glenn ends up vomiting in one of the toilets. She pats his back, letting him relieve himself of the alcohol in his system. Once he signals to her that he’s better, Gloria wipes his face with a wet towel, making sure there is no residue on him. She carries him back to the room he had claimed earlier and tucks him into bed where he quickly falls asleep. 

“You are so gonna regret this tomorrow.” Gloria chuckles as she takes one last look at her brother, then she leaves to wash up herself.

After Gloria is freshly cleaned up, she retreats to her own claimed room and sits down on the bed, letting out a deep sigh. Being alone, she lets her mind wander back to the past few days, particularly what happened back on the rooftop with Merle. The guilt had been consuming her the more she thought about it. She shouldn’t have ever given him the hacksaw, what was she thinking? It would have never cut through those chains, and knowing how crazy a guy Merle is, she should have seen something like that coming. Now he was missing because of her, Daryl was missing his brother because of her. The sound of the door opening snaps Gloria out of her thoughts as she looks over to the door and sees Daryl peering in, a bottle of alcohol in hand; she wasn’t even sure whether it was the same one from dinner.

“Haven’t you drunk enough for one night?” Gloria teases him, a half smile on her face. 

Daryl walks into the room, “there might not be many nights left for us anyway, so why the hell not?” he says as he takes a swig from the bottle. 

Gloria nods at that, then looks down to the ground, her thoughts still trying to eat at her. There’s a moment of silence between the two before Daryl clears his throat, purposely loud, snapping her again from her thoughts.

“Wha’s up wit’ ya?” Daryl asks, now leaning against the wall, facing her, “ya din’t eat much, pickin’ at yer food like some kind o’ teenager.” 

She scoffs at his words, “nothing, we got shelter now, wouldn’t exactly call this place home, but it’s four walls and a roof. We’re safe for the night, there shouldn’t be anything wrong.” 

“Bu’ there is.” Daryl finishes for her. 

Gloria looks up at him as he stares back at her, she lets out a deep and heavy sigh, “it’s Merle.” she admits.

Daryl furrows his eyebrows in confusion, not expecting that answer, “wha’ ‘bout him?”

“I feel bad... for what happened to him.” Gloria says, her voice small. 

“Ya crazy, girl... ya know you’re the only one who shouldn’ feel bad for wha’ happened? You’re the one who stayed behind wit’ him.” Daryl tried to reason with her, he doesn’t understand why she would feel bad about the situation. 

“I should have done more,” Gloria sighs, trying to keep her composure but failing as tears start to fall, “I should have known he would have done something stupid like cutting off his own hand. I gave him the damn saw! That’s on me!” 

Daryl watches helplessly as Gloria sobs, wallowing in her own guilt. He’s never been good at comforting people, never knowing what to say or do.

“Merle... he’s...” Daryl tries to think of something, “he’s insane, ya can never predict what he’s gonna do, ya can’t blame yourself for that.”

“I told him to cut the chains...” she says in a whisper, sniffling. 

Daryl shuffles on his feet uncomfortably before making up his mind and sits beside Gloria on the bed, he hesitates to put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to lean on him, “stop blamin’ yerself.” 

Gloria shakes her head, “I can’t..”

Daryl pulls away from Gloria at her words and turns her to face him, he looks into her eyes, “I don’ blame ya.” he says, sincerity pure in his voice, “I’m Merle’s blood, his family, and I don’ blame ya. So tell me, what right do ya have to blame yerself?” 

She tries to compose herself again, taking deep breaths and nods at Daryl’s words, she sniffles a bit more as she wipes her tears away, “sorry you had to see my like this.” she looks away in embarrassment. 

Daryl grunts and looks away from her, wanting her to feel comfortable as she wipes away the last remaining tears from her face. He looks down at the bottle he had placed on the floor then picks it up again, taking another swig from it then offering it to Gloria. 

“This should help wit’ all that guilt and shitty feelin’s.” Daryl half smiles at her. 

Gloria looks at Daryl then glances at the bottle, and after a moment of contemplation, she grabs the bottle from him and takes a few big gulps. Daryl chuckles as he watches her, she hisses at the burning sensation down her throat. 

“Hope yer tolerance is better than yer brother.” Daryl teases, taking the bottle from her and having another swig himself.

“I’m the drinker in my family, ya don’ need to worry ‘bout that.” Gloria giggles as she mocks his accent. 

Daryl rolls his eyes at her making fun of his speech. The two of them take turns drinking from the bottle, eventually getting tipsy together. Gloria starts to lean on Daryl, giggling more as the alcohol takes over her. 

“Ya wanna know something?” Gloria grins at him, her face close to Daryl’s.

He eyes her carefully, “wha’?”

“You. Are an extremely attractive man, Daryl Dixon.” Gloria says, her eyes never leaving his. 

Daryl purses his lips together, then lightly pushes Gloria off him, getting up from the bed but wobbles slightly from the head rush, “ya should sleep, you’re drunk.”

Gloria grabs hold of his hand and tries to pull him back towards her, “Daryl...” she calls, “I want you.” 

He scoffs at her, feeling his face flush as her words but tells himself it’s just the alcohol getting to him, to both of them, “Nah, ya don’.”

“Don’t tell me what I want Daryl! I may not know what I want tomorrow, but tonight... I want you!” she looks up at him, “I’ve wanted you for a while now.” she hiccups and shoots him a flirty smile. 

“Ya ain’ gonna regret it?” Daryl looks at her, biting his bottom lip.

“What’s there to regret? It’s the end of the world, like you said, there might not be many nights left. What could one night hurt for us?” Gloria uses his own words against him.

He stares at her, his eyes wandering from her eyes to her lips, down to her body. Gloria patiently waits for him to make his next move, her eyes beckoning him to come closer. Daryl looks away then lets out a breath.

“Fuck it.” he breathes, then moves towards Gloria on the bed.

He leans down and catches her lips with his, kissing her roughly, earning a soft moan from her as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her as she lies down. Daryl’s hands move down to her waist, caressing her skin underneath her tight black tank top. His tongue licks her bottom lip, asking for entrance which Gloria gladly grants. Their kiss deepens, Gloria is pleasantly surprised at how soft and gentle his kisses could be. 

Reluctantly, Daryl pulls away, both of them breathless and panting for air, “ya sure ya wan’ this?”

Gloria smiles up at him, leaning up to peck his lips before answer breathlessly, “yes.” 

He smiles down back at her then claims her lips with his again, this time at a more gentle pace. Daryl bites and nips at her lips, then moving down to her neck, leaving marks on her porcelain perfect skin. 

The night goes on with endless kisses, skin on skin, full of passion and lust for one another. When the two would wake up in the morning in each other’s arms, they’d blame the alcohol for their choices, but they were both okay with that. Gloria rolls around on the bed and smiles lazily at Daryl who’s already smiling softly at her, playing with her hair, his arm on her waist.

“Morning.” she whispers.

“Mornin’.” Daryl says back, then he sits up, ruffling his hair with his hand. 

Gloria stretches as she’s still lying down, she looks over at Daryl who was getting off the bed, putting on his pants but his bare back was facing her, giving her a full view of the scars that littered his skin. Something in her heart broke when she saw those scars, but she knew better than to ask about something so personal even if they did just have sex the night before. Daryl picks up his shirt along with Gloria’s clothes and throws them at her. 

“Thanks.” she says from underneath her clothes.

Daryl chuckles at her and puts on his shirt as Gloria starts to get dressed as well. 

“Hey, Daryl?” she looks up at him once she’s fully dressed, “I was hoping... you could keep last night just between you and me.”

Her request causes Daryl to frown, “why?” he says in a rather harsh tone, sounding angry.

“I...” Gloria stutters, taken aback by his sudden harsh tone, “nobody needs to know.”

“You’re just embarrassed that ya spent the night with me, ain’t ya? An’ now that ya sobered up, ya regret it, that it?!” Daryl snaps angrily as he paces around the room. 

Gloria frowns, “No, Daryl, it’s nothing like that.”

“Bullshit! Tha’s exactly what it is!” he exclaims, getting more worked up as he talks, “ya, the high and mighty doctor of our group, not wantin’ to get caught up wit’ some good for nothin’ redneck!” 

Gloria gets up from the bed and puts her hands on Daryl’s shoulder to try and hold him in place to look at her, “Daryl, stop! Will you just shut up and listen to me?” 

Still breathing heavily from anger, Daryl glares at her, but waits for her to speak.

“All you had was Merle, right? No sisters?” Gloria asks when she sees that he’s actually willing to listen.

“Wha’s that got to do with anythin'? ” Daryl retorts back.

“It has everything to do with it. You grew up with your brother and you guys might have shared stories about who you slept with because you have that brotherly bond, but it’s not like that when you have a sibling who’s another gender. It gets awkward.” Gloria explains, “I don’t want to know about Glenn’s sex life and I know he doesn’t want to know about mine, so to spare each other the awkwardness, that’s why I asked you to keep it only between us.” 

Daryl's breathing calmed down as he registers her words, “sorry...” he says after a moment.

Gloria lets out a small sigh of relief that Daryl finally believes her, she smiles at him, “it’s okay, and by the way,” she leans close to him and whispers into his ear, “you were amazing last night.” 

Blushing hard at what she just told him, Daryl scoffs, trying to play off his embarrassment and wraps his arm around Gloria’s shoulders, “ya still drunk, let’s get some food in ya.” 

Gloria laughs as Daryl ushers her out of the room and towards the dining table. Glenn was already sitting there but his head was laying on the table, groaning from the pounding headache of his hangover. 

“See what you did to him?” Gloria says, playfully eyeing Daryl and he laughs, going off to the kitchen to get some food, she sits beside Glenn and wraps her arm around his shoulders, “you okay, bro?”

Glenn groans in response which causes Gloria to chuckle in amusement. She gets up and heads to the kitchen to get him some breakfast. T-Dog had cooked eggs for everyone so Gloria helped herself to a plate, bringing it to Glenn and also put a bottle of water in front of him. 

“Here, eat. It’ll help you feel better.” Gloria nudges him gently, making him sit up. 

He looks at her groggily and groans as he starts to eat the eggs, “Ugh, I’m never drinking ever again.” 

Gloria pats his back gently in hopes to somehow comfort his throbbing head. When the others have all woken up and had their breakfast, they follow Dr. Jenner into the lab where he shows them the demonstration of their last test subject, TS-19, who he reveals to the group was his late wife. She was the reason he was staying in the building and is the last person left, he had made a promise to her to keep going as far as he could. Unfortunately, he breaks the news to the group that there is no cure for the outbreak. He also tells the group that they don’t have much time left as the place will face total decontamination once the power runs out. 

“Total decontamination? What does that even mean?” Carol asks, her voice filled with worry.

“The place is gonna blow... disintegrating everything... nothing left... total and complete decontamination.” Gloria sighs, remembering that this was talked about in one of her classes in university. 

Gloria’s explanation causes the others to start panicking, even more so when Dr. Jenner refuses to open the doors, saying he isn’t able to, locking everyone inside. Shane and Rick start to yell at Dr. Jenner to open the doors and let them out as Daryl starts to try and break open the doors with an axe. Thinking as practical as she can, Gloria decides to go back into the food and water storage of the building, grabbing as many bottles and dry food items as she can and stuffs them into her bag, she returns to the room where Daryl is still trying to break open the door, now joined by Shane. 

“Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher.” Dr. Jenner says in their futile attempt to break open the doors.

“Yeah,” Daryl says as he goes over to the doctor, axe still in hand, “well yer head ain’t!”

He attempts to swing the axe towards Dr. Jenner only to have Rick, Shane and T-Dog stop him, T-Dog grabbing the axe from him. Gloria goes over to Daryl and puts her hand on his arm to try and calm him. He looks at her and huffs, shrugging her hand off his arm and runs back to the door to continue to try and break it open. 

“Dr. Jenner, please, open the door. It’s not fair for you to keep us locked up in here without giving us a choice!” Gloria shouts at him, pleading for the group.

“What’s the point? Wouldn’t you rather die here, painlessly, not feel a thing rather than getting ripped to shreds out there?” Dr. Jenner tries to reason.

“That may be your choice, but that’s not ours! You don’t have the right to make that choice for us, for all of us! You may prefer to go that way, but I don’t!” Gloria shouts, getting more frustrated as Dr. Jenner doesn’t budge.

She lets out a frustrated yell and goes to Shane, grabbing the axe from him and joins Daryl in trying to destroy the door. Both of them continue to try and hack at the door until gunfire is heard as Shane erupts, firing shots into the computers and more of the equipment in the lab. Finally complying, Dr. Jenner presses a button to open the doors; whether it was the group’s pleas or Shane’s gunfire that made him do it, they’ll never know but at least now they have a chance to escape.

“C’mon, let’s go!” Daryl yells as the doors open. 

Gloria and Daryl quickly usher the group out of the building, fearing that they won’t make it out in time. The group is stopped by the bulletproof windows surrounding the outside of the building. Glenn, Daryl, Gloria, and T-Dog start throwing anything they can get their hands on to break the windows. 

“Look out!” Rick shouts as he approaches the window and lets go of a hand grenade, “everybody down!”

The group looks for anything to take cover as the grenade explodes, shattering the glass and giving them their path to freedom. They all run quickly, jumping out of the building and dashing to their respective cars. Daryl pushes Gloria towards his truck, ushering her to get in and closes the door behind her as he gets in from the other side. They both duck down, waiting for the unmistakable explosion of the C.D.C. Gloria peeks her head out of the window to see the wreckage of the blast, fire, smoke and debris painting the scene. Daryl sits up and starts the truck, seeing the others doing the same. He drives off, following the others to a safer place, a place away from the destroyed C.D.C to regroup and figure out what to do from there.

---

Next Chapter

Yep! So that happened! I feel like I have to have an explanation for this because this might be really out of character for Daryl for some people. I see Daryl as an emotional drinker, meaning that he acts differently depending on his mood and the people he is with. We saw that with him drinking at the C.D.C., he was happy and excited, but when he was drinking with Beth, he was miserable because of the events that happened prior. So here, I used the alcohol to bring out his caring side as well since he really does care about Gloria and (I reveal this in later chapters) he has a really heavy attraction for her as well. Hope that helps everyone accept what happened in this chapter haha~ and with that, I am done rambling! 

I would really appreciate any comments left for me! I’ll be replying to any comments in a new post because this is a sideblog!

[mithranqueersmusings]

Baby, You’re A Rich Man XXI

Chapter: 21/28

Rating: U

Summary: Ringo could never understand why that group of three boys made him feel so uncomfortable, or why the way George looked at him sent him into a panic. After a chance encounter Ringo discovers the truth and has no clue what to do with the information.

Tags: AU - Gangsters, Slow Burn, Smut, Eventual Romance, Violence, Angst

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

A week had passed before Brian had asked to see Ringo for an 'assignment', he'd also asked the rest of the boys to come along. During this time Ringo had moved into the remaining flat on George's floor which was a strange level of commitment Ringo hadn't anticipated: they weren't living together technically, Ringo's things like his clothes and drum kit were at his place across the hall but he spent almost every minute of the day at George's. He had to admit he'd miss his old place somewhat, as dreary and depressing as it was, and he had the horrible feeling that he'd never settle into this new flat because it was just too nice. Not that Ringo didn't think he deserved nice things, but knowing that he was living there through his connections - a phrase he heard repeatedly now - rather than his own hard work made him feel a bit undeserving. Nonetheless he was more than happy to be so much closer to George, not to forget John and Paul either who he was increasingly getting closer with.

His flat was the same layout as George's only flipped, with luxurious furniture and a fairly nice view of the city. John suggested they threw a 'house warming party' which just consisted of another night of debauchery which took place in Ringo's flat instead of George's, but Ringo appreciated the sentiment. George also made the suggestion that they christen his new bed, which didn't take much convincing. Despite his slight discomfort in his new lavish surroundings, he had a real sense of belonging when he was with the other boys and couldn't be happier with how things had turned out. Ringo insisted that they ate a proper homemade dinner together rather than eating out as they usually did and it was such a success that they decided to do it at least once a week from then on. George had helped Ringo in the kitchen and they somehow managed to get a satisfactory dinner ready without breaking anything or burning the place down; next week would be John an Paul's turn, George was already planning on spontaneously becoming allergic to whatever they were going to cook. The four of them essentially did everything together, well not everything despite John's constant joking.

He'd worked a few more shifts at The Babylon and they'd gone very smoothly. Ringo worried he wouldn't be able to go back there after everything that happened but as soon as he had his sticks in hand he felt unstoppable; the constant reminder that security had been increased and were watching him specifically helped too of course. Shane had been massively relieved to see Ringo on his first shift back, giving him a tight hug which neither of them were really anticipating. The rest of the band thought Ringo was pretty 'cool' for having survived the whole thing, but were still a little standoffish. While the physical wounds were completely healed by this point, Ringo couldn't deny he was still a little subconsciously shaken about the whole thing but he just tried his best not to think about it. Upon hearing that Brian wanted to see him, Ringo felt irrefutably nervous about the whole ordeal but he just had to remember how much Brian had insisted that he would be protected now. It was a cold Thursday morning when the four of them were called back over to Brian's house, Paul once again woke them all up on time. They'd started eating breakfast together every so often, although John almost always refused on the basis that it was too early to do anything but going back to bed, which is what they did that morning.

"I think he enjoys torturing us by getting us up so early." John mumbled into his cup of coffee.

"It's 9 in the morning John, it's hardly the break of dawn." Ringo smiled, although he wasn't feeling too chirpy himself.

They all piled into Paul's car and headed back over to Brian's house, which Ringo was pretty excited to see again. George Martin met them at the door once more, although he seemed a little more serious this time. He led them into the lounge and offered them all a drink before vanishing to find Brian again, who entered a few minutes later.

"So lovely to see you boys!" He beamed, approaching them all individually with a handshake before taking the same seat as he did last time "How have you all been keeping?"

They all spoke over one another lazily which made Brian chuckle, he had a cup of tea brought in by George who then moved over to the window. The atmosphere in the room was a little tense, at least Ringo thought so, and he gripped George's hand for comfort.

"Now, I've got quite a big task for the four of you. I could've given it to someone else, but I really think you're perfect for this." Brian began, shifting to get comfortable in the chair as he stirred his tea "It's a great chance for you all to really prove yourself, and would be a great way of throwing you into the deep end, Ringo."

Ringo shone a nervous smile at the mention of his name which resulted in another small laugh from Brian.

"One thing I really want to do as well is remove you four from the environment here, this Chapman business is really heating up and to get you out of harms way would just be a massive relief for myself." He paused to take a sip of his tea "I'll just cut straight to the chase, I want to send you boys over to Germany." He paused for a response.

"What's in Germany?" George asked when he realised nobody else was going to speak.

"Hamburg." Brian said with a smile.

"And what's in Hamburg?" John asked with a chuckle.

"Well we've got quite a few connections over there in the clubs and so forth, but I've been getting a lot of reports lately that a certain group has been trying to muscle their way onto the scene." Brian explained "The issue is we don't know exactly who's doing it, and the people I have over there are far too known to really do anything about it."

"I think I see where this is going." John murmured.

"What I would like you boys to do is go over there and suss this whole situation out. That city is just filled with rambunctious lads like yourself, and I think you'll really fit in there. Ringo, you would join one of the bands in one of my clubs and see what information you can gain there, while the rest of you boys do what you do best." Brian paused again and awaited a response.

"How dangerous could this whole thing get?" Paul asked politely.

"Well it's hard to say, of course. The city itself is rather dangerous, I suppose, but I would insist that Ringo doesn't get involved if anything turns violent. The aim of this whole thing is to discover who's trying to take over our territory, and put to a stop to it. I'm not above offering them money, but ideally I'd rather settle this without any loss on our part. Does that make sense?" Brian smiled.

"What about my job here?" Ringo asked, he felt rather stumped by the whole situation.

"Oh, don't worry about that, George is already working on finding a temporary replacement." Brian gestured behind him to where George gave a small smile in response.

"How long would we be there for?" George asked, he was rubbing the back of Ringo's hand with his thumb.

"I can't imagine it'd extend any longer than a month. A week or two, I'd estimate." Brian took another sip of his drink.

"I don't want to step out of line or anything, Brian." John began "But is taking us away from the city we know and are protected in only to place us somewhere unknown with a potentially dangerous group of people really the best idea?"

Brian just chuckled "I understand your concern, of course. If you are all opposed to the idea, I can offer it to someone else, but I thought it'd be a great opportunity for you three to show what you're capable of, particularly with the messy episodes over the past few months." There was more of an edge to his voice now.

"Do you know how big the group is?" Paul asked.

"Not definitively, but if nobody can identify them they can't be that large surely." Brian said with a smile "I have a lot of respect for you boys, and I trust you to do this for me. So what do you say?"

There was a pause for a few moments, each of them looking at one another before George spoke "Can you give us a minute to talk about it?"

"Oh, of course. I'll head out to the garden, come and find me when you're done." Brian didn't hesitate to get up then, heading out of the room with his tea in hand and George following behind him.

Another silence followed before they were sure the two of them were far away enough from the room.

"What do you think?" George spoke first, squeezing Ringo's hand.

"I dunno... I've never even been out of the country before." Ringo said sheepishly.

"Well I say we go." John blurted out determinedly.

"Really?" Paul asked surprised. "Why so sure?"

"I've heard a lot about Hamburg from some of the other lads, and it sounds like a right riot." John grinned.

"John it's not a bloody holiday." George scoffed.

"Well we can't work all day, can we?" John sat back comfortably, crossing his legs over.

"What have you heard?" Ringo asked, with Brian out of the room he instantly felt more relaxed.

"Drugs, drink, music, prostitutes - you name it, its got it all." John said.

"We literally have all of those things here." George replied with a chuckle.

"No, not like this place. It sounds like sin central, I'm telling you. I think it'd be fun."

"Not sure I'm happy with how excited you are for prostitutes, darling." Paul spoke up now "But it would be nice to get out of this place, maybe get away from all the glitz of it all."

"I'm all for it, would be nice to get back here and those Chapman bastards have been dealt with." George said "But only if you're comfortable with it, love."

"Its just a lot, you know? It sounds like it could be fun, especially if all I'm really doing is drumming. I just don't want to be like dead weight." Ringo was warming to the idea, but the unknown aspect of it all was certainly frightening.

"You wouldn't be you daft git." John laughed "That's the whole point, we do all the dirty work you just be your normal charming self and get us some information."

"But how do I even do that?" Ringo asked.

"Ringo, what's my favourite colour?" John raised his eyebrow.

"Er- Green, why?" Ringo stammered.

"And how do you know that?" John leaned forward in his seat.

"I think Ge-" Ringo paused "Oh... Now I feel proper daft."

"It's not rocket science. All you have to do is talk to people, find out what you can and we'll do the rest." John was still laughing.

"Well in that case, I suppose I'm on board then." Ringo chuckled.

"You sure?" George asked and Ringo nodded in response.

"That sorts that then!" Paul said with a smile "Now, can anyone speak any German?"

Brian had been quite delighted at the news, he explained that they'd have to be staying in somewhere on the 'lower scale of things' to not draw so much attention to themselves and told them to pack that very same night. Their flight left London the following afternoon and they had to be up and ready in the morning for a long drive.

"I thought you'd have a private jet or something." Ringo said as he packed up his clothes into a suitcase, he didn't even own one prior to a few hours ago.

"We're not that loaded." George chuckled as he rifled through his wardrobe.

"Are you excited?" Ringo asked, he had the horrible feeling that he was the only nervous one.

"A little bit, but it's still work, you know? Just hope things go as smoothly as they're supposed to." George sounded more serious now "Especially if you're getting involved now, I've gotta start doing things properly."

All packed and ready to go, the four of them spent the evening at George's having a little to drink and trying their best to get an early night. Ringo struggled getting to sleep, tossing and turning throughout the night as the fear began to take hold of him. George groggily awoke after an hour of Ringo's continuous movements, he didn't say a word but moved up closer to the smaller man and wrapped his arm tight around his waist. It calmed Ringo instantly, and while he couldn't silence the constant worries in his mind, he felt more able to overcome them with the safe feeling of George beside him. He just had to remember John's words and Brian's emphasis of how important his safety was.

The follow morning came abruptly in the manner they always did whenever something important was going on: Paul knocking repeatedly on George's door with a groggy John stood beside him until Ringo finally got up to let them in. At times George never even locked his front door because it just made life easier for everyone, despite Paul telling him it was a stupid thing to do. There was to be a car arriving in 10 minutes which was just enough time to drag George out of bed and into something half-decent. Despite the importance of the whole situation, at this point it really just felt like a strange holiday to the four of them and Ringo couldn't deny that he felt a little excited. They all had a cup of tea and pieces of toast were lazily passed around before they managed to squeeze into the lift with their suitcases. There was a driver waiting for them outside the building with a rather swanky car, Ringo felt a little like a celebrity as they all piled inside. On the back seat was a letter from Brian addressed on the front simply to 'Boys'. Paul seized the letter before John lazily sat on it and read it aloud to them; it detailed what hotel they'd be staying at, the clubs that were in need of investigating, the band Ringo would be joining and most importantly that they should call him at the end of every day to update him.

"Bit much." John snickered.

"This is some serious shit." George chuckled "Can we try to not fuck this one up?"

"Like you're so perfect." Paul made himself comfortable as the car began to drive off "Are you forgetting when you knocked out that bloke onl-"

"Only to find out he was one of ours, yeah whatever." George interrupted with a smile "Let's just do this one properly, alright lads?"

"And who put you in charge?" John raised an eyebrow.

"Oh I'm sorry, lets put the alcoholic, nymphomaniac, coke-addict in charge in a city filled with drugs and prostitutes." George glared but he was still grinning.

"Bastard." John kicked him playfully "I'm not even a coke-addict."

"Well let's keep it that way, eh Johnny?" Ringo laughed and the tension of the car immediately depleted.

"Nobody has to be in charge, we work better as a team anyway." Paul said as he put the letter away in his jacket pocket "Today we should just focus on getting used to the city, settling in and that, before we start anything proper."

"Sounds like you're in charge." George quipped.

The journey to the airport continued in a similar manner, with a slight edge of nervousness under everyone's voices but nothing but playful jokes being told. It was a strange sight for the four of them to be so casually dressed, even if Paul was still wearing a blazer, but it made everything feel significantly less official which did wonders for Ringo's nerves. He'd never even been on a plane before, something he'd already been harmlessly teased about, and he was worried that it would only be the beginning of a series of frightening events. The drive down to London was very long indeed, but luckily they had the radio and one another to stay entertained. All four of them fell asleep at different points on the journey, Ringo was the only one who wasn't purposefully woken up by the rest of them.

"I say we do a crawl of all the clubs, for research purposes." John suggested as he lit a cigarette, they were about an hour away from the airport.

"You don't have to give us that bullshit, John, we're not Brian." George said as he offered out his lighter "Not that I'm opposed to the idea o'course."

"As long as we don't get too shitfaced. I don't see a problem with it." Paul smiled, his seal of approval on a plan usually meant it went forward, Ringo noticed.

"Would be nice to see where I'll be playing for the next few weeks." Ringo suggested "I hope they bloody speak English."

"Music's a universal language, you'll be fine." John chuckled.

"If we're all gonna be sharing a room, can we make a promise now that we're not gonna be bringing anyone back to the hotel? I'm not having my sleep disturbed because John likes the look of some rent-boy." George said.

"Such a prude George, I swear. What happened to you?" John nudged him.

"Look, if you had your own room you can do as much freaky shit as you please but not if I'm in the room, alright?" George nudged him back with a laugh. "Shag them back at their place, in the bloody street for all I care."

Ringo fell asleep a second time before the car finally stopped outside the airport and he was awoken by a soft rocking from George and a tender kiss on the lips. They all performed a variety of strange stretches after they toppled out of the car. A 2 hour flight still awaited them which none of them were particularly looking forward to, but at least the longest part was over now. The four of them all smoked a cigarette before actually heading inside, their driver was gone and they were left alone to their own devices. Brian had tickets waiting for them which Paul went to collect while John went off in a search for coffee.

Getting onto the plane was a strange experience for Ringo, it was a lot smaller than he had anticipated which gave it the strange feeling of not being real. George and Ringo had been seated together with Paul and John in front of them, with the two remaining aisle seats being left for unfortunate passengers who were going to have to put up with their crude conversations for the entirety of the flight. Ringo tried to hide his nerves when the plane began to take off but he was gripping George's hand so tightly he worried he might pull it out of its socket. Once they were in the air Ringo could relax again, as long as he didn't think about how high up they were, and the four of them began to chatter away. John made a pledge to try ever drug offered to him while in Hamburg which earned a roll of the eyes from Paul.

"Forget new drugs, you're gonna come back to England with about five new diseases." George laughed which only spurred John on further.

John expressed his excitement for their red-light district, claiming that these people weren't like 'normal prostitutes' which made Ringo laugh. According to what he'd heard from members of the family that had been sent to Hamburg, it was one of the most depraved and raunchy cities in Europe which was apparently a haven to John.

"I do worry what you'd be like if you didn't have me sometimes." Paul admitted somewhat seriously "Shagging every Tom, Dick and Harry that came your way."

"I'll be honest Paulie, I worry what I'd be like without you too." John replied with a soft kiss.

Both Ringo and George managed to fall asleep at one point, resting their heads on one another despite knowing that once they woke up their necks would be aching, which allowed John and Paul some private time that they no doubt would've capitalised on had there not been an elderly gentleman sat beside them. The 2 hours flew by, rather literally, compared to the car journey down to London and before they knew it they'd landed in Hamburg.  It was approaching 4 o'clock now and the four of them were desperately hungry for some food. They hurried off the plane and seized their suitcases to find another driver waiting for them outside the airport who drove them to their hotel. The city didn't seem to be as debauched as John had described it to be, but it was still fairly early in the day.

The hotel was a welcome change of pace for Ringo, it was incredibly plain and somewhat dingy which was always more comfortable to him than luxury. Paul checked them in at the front desk, he was given a single key between the four of them, where the receptionist gave them a curious look as they walked up to their room. Ringo didn't want to imagine the thoughts the woman was having about what four young men were doing hurrying into a single room while it was still light outside. The room itself looked better than they had all anticipated, they had a small lounge with a radio which split off into a bedroom with two double beds with little space between them.

John immediately jumped onto one of the beds, kicking off his shoes and stretching out onto the sheets. They all followed suit, Paul leaping onto John and rolling around to lie beside him, while George pulled Ringo down onto the bed. It devolved into pure childish antics as John began tickling Paul, who retaliated by hitting him with one of the pillows; before long the four of them were jumping around pelting each other with pillows and diving down onto the creaky beds in fits of laughter. It was pure lunacy, but Ringo couldn't have wished for a better start to this whole ordeal, for no matter how serious or dire things got he knew he'd always have these three with him every step of the way.

[2-fandom-2-furious]

A/N: BFU Reader-insert. Detective!AU, and the reader is a murderer.

TW: Some violence, but nothing major. Read on AO3

The office was cold and bland, the lighting poor. You faced what you knew was a two-way mirror, wondering if the officers who would interrogate you were on the other side, or off finishing up other business. You doubt anyone particularly cared how long you were left waiting. You checked your reflection, wishing your hands weren’t cuffed to the cheap table so you could at least work on making your hair look more presentable. It’s important to look your best at a reunion.

You jerked your head to face the door at the sound of the hinges creaking, throwing up a smirk and leaning back in your chair.

“Well hey, look who finally decided to show up! I was starting to think you guys chickened out or something; bribed Detective Lim to interrogate me instead.” You fiddled with the chain of your handcuffs, biting your lip in a poor attempt to hold back your grin.

In walked an easily identifiable figure. Short, but almost scarily buff, was Detective Bergara. His dark hair was tousled and messy, his suit askew, and the bags under his eyes were almost as big as the body bags you so frequently used.

“Boy, little Mr. B, you’re looking tired. Been losing sleep over something?” the grin continued to pull at your lips when you saw the man’s eye twitch. But to your surprise, a familiar smile greeted you. He placed down a mug of coffee on the table, his eyes twinkling with levity despite the clear exhaustion they showed.

“Didn’t think we’d be seeing you again for a while. Mind telling me your trick?” his weariness most certainly rang true in his voice. How he was still awake, you didn’t know.

“Ahh, you mean that little prison escapade. C’mon, you didn’t really think that old cell could hold me for long, did you?” you winked, and clicked your tongue for good measure.

The detective sighed, his face tugged down into a tight frown. Though, you weren’t too convinced of his anger.

“You want something to drink?” he asked gruffly, nodding towards a smaller table up against the wall. A water cooler and some paper cups rested on top, and you were tempted to say yes, your throat dry and scratchy from your hours spent untended and alone in the interrogation room, before the door creaked on its hinges yet again, and a newcomer entered.

Another familiar face, you’d come to find. Officer Madej, Ryan’s partner in crime. Or, just the opposite. His partner in stopping crime.

“Ay, the gang’s all here!” you cheered.

Officer Madej looked unamused, pulling out a chair for Bergara to sit in and handing him a manila folder, a few thinner, emptier folders in his other hand. He looked determined and businesslike. This wouldn’t do.

“Leggy, long time no see! Gosh, what’s it been, three months? I must say, you-”

You stopped dead, more out of shock than by choice. You blinked. Once. Twice.

You could feel a handprint forming on your cheek from the swift slap the officer had just delivered, and fleetingly attempted to lift a hand to touch it, before the metallic jingling at your wrist reminded you of your current predicament.

Detective Bergara broke the brief, but tense silence.

“Jesus, Shane-!”

“Nice to see you too, pal.” You resisted the urge to spit on the table, and instead sat up to better look the officer in the face.

“Talk.” The papers Officer Madej had been holding hit the table with a muffled thwap!, and you swallowed.

“What do you want me to say?” you gave a shaky attempt at a smirk, but you could tell by his narrowed eyes that Madej wasn’t entertained. “I’m not telling you how I got out of jail, if that’s what you’re looking for, so you can check that off your list.”

Shane huffed, and you flashed a quick glance over to Bergara, who seemed rattled.

“Ry, go to my office and grab the blue folder on my desk. I forgot it before heading over here, my mistake.” The officer’s eyes didn’t leave your face for a second. Ryan swallowed, but nodded and obeyed, leaving you alone with his partner.

“Go ahead then. Have at me, beast!” you spat, facing him dead on, though you had to crane your neck to make eye contact.

His fist made contact with your cheek, and you felt your jaw click. In a second, you were sprawled on your side on the floor, your chair toppled backwards from the force of the punch, and your handcuffs restraining you from going with it with a jolt strong enough to pull a yelp from you.

On the other side of the table, you could see him shaking his hand, his knuckles a stark pink contrast to his pale skin. Your breathing was wobbly, and your eyes were leaking tears, but your mouth remained closed. You caught his eyes, silent and defiant, and he grumbled under his breath before turning his back to you.

The door opened, a few inches at a time, and Detective Bergara reentered the room, folder in hand.

“Jesus Christ! What happened?! Shane, you can’t just slap people aroun-”

“They’re a murderer! A killer! I’ll slap them all I like, then I’ll put them back and jail, and slap em’ again a few months later! They aren’t gonna talk? Fine. But I’m not gonna sit here while they give us that smug attitude!” Madej slammed his fist down on the table, before jerking his hand back, wincing in pain.

Ryan stepped forward, hands held placatingly in front of himself, and stood between you and officer Madej, pushing the table out of his way.

“Alright. Let’s all just… settle down. Avoid slapping murderers, yeah?”

Shane huffed, running his non-injured hand through his hair absentmindedly.

“Yeah, you’re acting like a total Shaniac.” You began to grin again, though it only encased half of your face, looking a bit lopsided. Shane was done slapping you around; you were most likely safe with Ryan here.

The two men exchanged a brief, unamused look, before turning back to you.

“Come on, that was a good one and you know it.”

Silence.

“Look, I can feel my face swelling and bruising. Appreciate that I'm being humorous.” 

More silence.

You began to wonder if the novelty of this cat and mouse game was wearing off. You commit a crime and run, they catch you, you get away, repeat. You'd always found great amusement in it, especially getting caught and having these little interrogation sessions with the boys, but things seemed different this time around. More business. More frustration.

Shane stepped forward, the sound of his boots on the tile echoing in the complete silence of the room. 

Before thinking about it, you jerked back. The jingling of your handcuffs quickly reminding you that there was nowhere for you to go. Desperately, you sent a panicked glimpse at Ryan, who caught your gaze and planted a hand on Officer Madej's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

“Relax. I'm done hitting them. For now.”

Officer Madej- no, Shane, hunched over awkwardly to offer you a hand to help right yourself, which you gladly took. Even once you were standing, he towered over you, a good six and half feet, was your estimate.  

Once you were standing properly, Shane picked up the cheap and uncomfortable chair from where it lay on its side, and replaced it by the table. He gestured to it quickly, silently indicating that you should sit, then circled back around to the other side of the table. Ryan followed, grabbing his rapidly cooling cup of coffee and taking a gulp.

You watched them with an attentive eye, wary of Shane’s newly developed temper.

“Talk to us.” Ryan commanded. His tone was steely and unwavering, though one look into his eyes told you he was far more concerned, or even pitying, than he was angry.

Pity was worse than anger.

“Well, uh. I’m out of prison, if you didn’t hear.” You began. You cursed your inability to take anything seriously. Here you were, in an interrogation room with two professionals, who clearly had no problem slapping you around for information, and you were making snarky comments. If you were Shane, you would’ve hit yourself much sooner. The man was patient, you’d give him that.

“Mind telling us how you pulled that off?” Ryan began tapping his pen on that thick manila case file of his. Shane steepled his fingers, staring at you intently. 

You heaved a sigh, wishing you had a joke that could push the seriousness of all of this away. Sure, you’d killed a few people. Did a bit of stabbing, stole some government information and maybe some jelly beans here and there. But that didn’t mean you were a criminal. Sometimes things just happen.

“I mean, you’ve seen movies, right? Some plastic spoons, a bit of time, and I was home free.”

Ryan took another sip of his coffee, and you took note of the way he wrinkled his nose in distaste; it was most likely lukewarm at this point.

“How I got out isn’t important, alright? The point is, I did it. And if you put me back in, just know I’ve got plenty more escape methods I’d like to put to the test.” You puffed your chest out, daring either of them to argue. They didn’t.

“Ok. So, we won’t talk about your prison break then. How about we talk about Vanessa ‘Nessie’ Loch?” Ryan smoothly slid a photo and a few newspaper clippings across the table to you, carefully avoiding touching your hand. You wanted to scoff at him; he knew very well that you were no threat to him by now.

“Ah, yeah. Her.” You found sudden interest in the fake-marble tile. White and black, an interesting choice to go with brick walls.

“Let’s cut to the chase, chop-chop, huh?” Ryan crossed his arms, and Shane gazed expectantly at you.

You found yourself seriously wishing you’d taken Ryan up on his offer for water earlier, your throat was dry and uncomfortable. Come to think of it, the whole room felt dry and uncomfortable.

“If I said I didn’t kill her, would you believe me?”

Their matching cocked eyebrows and unimpressed looks told you the answer was a flat ‘no’.

“Look, ok, I was having a rough day. I go into the store lookin’ for some Pop-Tarts, and this lady’s got the last pack of them! What else was I supposed to do?”

Quite literally anything else, your useless hindsight supplied.

“Alright. Well, looks like that case is solved.” Shane leaned over to scribble something brief on one of Ryan’s notes, then reached into his own folder and retrieved more clippings and pictures.

“How about Eric Daly? Did he buy the last of the pizza rolls?”

You prepared a quick rebuttal, something about how impressive it was that Shane managed to fit his whole humongous head all the way up his ass, when you stopped dead. You didn’t recognize the man in the photos he’d presented. 

“For all I know, he might have. I’ve never seen that guy before in my life.”

Shane growled under his breath.

“Come on now, It’s a little late to be playing dumb. If you can admit to one murder, you can admit to another. You’re already going to prison for life, I doubt your seventh murder will make that much of a difference.”

Ryan’s eyes darted between you and Officer Madej, dark and curious. You held your ground.

“I’m being serious! I’m quite proud of my work, thank you, and I’m a bit insulted you think this was me.” You snatched one of the evidential photos from Shane’s grasp. 

The body was covered in scattered and messy stabs, though they looked more like tears. He was fully clothed and blood-soaked, most likely dropped off at a random spot in a fit of panic on the actual murderer’s behalf.

“Look at this! This is like an amateur's work, but shittier!” You slapped the picture back down on the table, reveling in the way both Shane and Ryan jolted at the smack! that resonated through the room.

“Alright, ok. So what, then? We have a different killer to handle?” Ryan asked, more to himself than you or his partner, though the both of you replied anyway.

“Looks like it, yeah.”

“We can’t take another murderer, we already have to chase this one around constantly!”

You chose to believe that was the shock talking.

“This is a pretty small town. You're the only murderer we've ever had to deal with, and you're easy to catch. It's keeping you contained that's hard. But we don’t know how to actually catch a killer! Especially not when we already have one to deal with!” Ryan babbled.

You watched with interest as the detective tugged at his hair and paced the room, looking frazzled. 

Officer Madej remained still, though you could sense his unease. His posture was unusually stiff, and his fingers were idly tapping against his leg. The tall man's brown eyes shifted around the room, following his partner's erratic pacing.

You cleared your throat after a moment, allowing both men a second to turn to you, before making a proposal.

“What you boys need, is someone who thinks like a killer, no? Someone with, say, experience?” 

Ryan squinted at you, the corner of his mouth turning down.

“What are you playing at?”

“What do you think?”

Oh, how you wished you weren't restrained to this ridiculous desk. You could have so much more fun with this if you could move around just a bit more. It's hard to feel suave and persuasive when you're stuck looking up at your captors from a cheap plastic chair. You pictured yourself grabbing Detective Bergara's ridiculous tie and holding him by it; seeing the easy-to-earn terror in his eyes as you 'convince’ him to let you go free (read: blackmail and threaten him). You channelled the image of yourself trapping these boys in their own interrogation room, played it out in your head. With a deep breath, you mulled over your next words.

“Look, you've got a first-time murderer on your hands. I can tell just by the one picture you showed me. But I'll bet whoever your killer is got a rush from it. I bet it won't be long until it happens again. You need someone who thinks like a killer. Who is a killer. And you don't have too many options. What do you say yours truly gives you a hand? In exchange, oops! I somehow get ahold of the key to these here cuffs.” You shook your wrist a bit, allowing the quiet metallic jingling to accentuate your offer.

Madej opened his mouth, his expression clearly showcasing his plan to condemn your idea. Luckily, Ryan spoke first.

“What, so you expect us to trust you? Just haul you along with us when we investigate? Let you sniff out the murderer like some sort of bloodhound?” Ryan’s tone was incredulous. He threw his arms up in a gesture of frustration and exaggerated sarcasm. “We have actual search dogs for that! You just want us to let you loose. I’m not stupid!”

This time around, Shane was the one looking concerned, while Ryan freaked out. You wondered briefly if he’d hit you too. You weren’t sure you could survive a blow from an arm like his.

“I’m not saying I want to put my nose to the ground and track the killer’s fuckin’ blood scent, Jesus! I’m saying that if anyone would know a murderer's way of thinking, it would be me. Contrary to popular belief, my first kill was an accident. It seems like the same goes for this person. If you guys want to catch them, my help and experience couldn't hurt.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, his expression hardening further.

“Except for the fact that it could hurt, because you're a killer, and walking you around town like a pet on a leash is gonna wind up with either you escaping, or you killing us, then escaping.” 

You tried not to recoil at the severe glint in the man's eyes. Yeah, alright, I deserved that.

You looked up at the detective, attempting to appear more remorseful and less like a kicked puppy.

“You really think I’d kill you guys? Pssh, come on!” you did a good job of concealing the offense you’d taken at his words. “If I wanted to kill you two, I would’ve by now. I was just having fun, none of us have gotten hurt.”

“Yet.” Shane pointed the nib of his pen at you, his tone even.

“Alright, fair. But do you guys really- I mean, you actually think I would hurt you guys?” 

“You’re the most notorious killer in the country right now, I’d say some caution here is fair.”

You rested your elbow against the table, and your face against your hand, and looked up at Ryan. You’d always been careful to avoid harming or threatening the boys; you enjoyed toying with them, sure, but they’d done nothing to deserve harm. It was a bit hurtful that they didn’t trust you even a little.

But, they weren’t lying about the whole ‘most notorious killer in the country’ thing. 

“I only kill people who deserve it. You guys are like my friends, in a weird, not-really sort of way. I swear, I don’t want to kill or hurt you. I’m not gonna comment on the escaping part, though.” You winked.

You paused for a moment to examine the boys. You quickly noticed they’d loosened up since they had first entered the interrogation room, something you allowed yourself to take a brief moment of pride in. Most killers only managed to stress their interrogators out more; they played with their minds, drove them nuts. You had put them at ease.

“I doubt your ‘help’ would be worth the risk of losing this town’s most dangerous citizen.” You could just tell that Ryan was beginning to sway. His voice held less conviction than it had before, and his eyes seemed a bit unfocused. He wasn’t sure. You moved in for the metaphorical kill.

“Well, firstly, I’m flattered you think of me as the most dangerous citizen, but I really think that award should go to old man Harlot. Have you seen that man drive? He’s probably killed 80% of our local wildlife.” You flashed both men your signature smirk, wanting to jump for joy when you heard Ryan’s muffled chuckle. He feigned wiping his nose to cover his smile. “Second, I can guarantee you’ll have your killer behind bars sooner than you ever could without me. And, whether you accept my help or not, you both know I’m gonna slip out of your grasp one way or another anyway. Might as well get something out of it, yeah?”

You cocked an eyebrow, another rush of pride jolting through you when Ryan playfully rolled his eyes. Yes! Damn, I’m good!

Shane looked significantly less impressed with your guile, his arms folded in his lap and his sharp eyes glued to you.

“Come on, Ryan, they’re playing us. We can do this just fine ourselves. Getting assistance from a criminal is the lowest we could possibly stoop.”

Ryan looked momentarily scolded. You moved in before he could change his mind.

“Oh, don’t be so grouchy, Madej! Just because you know I’d do your job better than you is no reason to be bitter. Just let me get rid of this amateur for you, and I’ll be out of your hair. I can’t have anyone taking my place as most notorious and feared killer, after all. It’s my pleasure to get rid of the competition!” You leaned a bit in the tall man’s direction, supporting your head in your hands and resting your elbows on the table.

Doubt encased the officer’s face,  but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he directed his focus onto Ryan; it was his decision, he was in charge.

“I mean…” the detective began hesitantly. You attempted to appear innocent, giving your best puppy dog eyes. Across from you, Shane was tense. He shot a brief glare at you, before turning back to Ryan, his expression soft but disapproving.

“Alright. You’ve got yourself a deal, but the first time we catch you trying to pull something, it’s back to eating Insta-Potatoes in prison, understand?” he jabbed you on the nose with his pointer finger, his stubbly jaw set in a scowl.

You jumped up from your chair, throwing your non-cuffed arm in the air and whooping.

“Yes! Yeah! You won’t regret this, I swear! I’ll be the fastest killer-catcher in the west! Yee-haw, boys!”

You could tell the last two lines caught them off guard. Ryan and Shane gave each other a look, before Ryan broke out in giggles, Shane following a few seconds after, albeit much more subdued. 

“Ok, ok. But we need to get on this case. Now. The longer we wait, the less fresh the evidence is. Keeping you in the prison is inconvenient as hell, so our first order of business should be finding somewhere to store you. Shane?” 

The two men excused themselves to converse, on the other side of the two way mirror mind you. You were, yet again, left to your own devices. You fiddled with your chain casually for a moment or so, then moved in to trying to chip your initials into the table. It didn’t work, and you were pretty much out of things to.

You mentally replayed the events of the past hour or so. Half hour? You didn’t know. A clock would be convenient in here. How long it had been shouldn’t matter, however. You had confirmation you weren’t going back to jail, and the death penalty was illegal here. You’d be fine, and back home eating Pop-Tarts before you knew it. You allowed yourself to relax.

-~-~-~

After another 15 minutes had passed, you moved on to trying to scoot the table closer to the water cooler. Your throat was beginning to sting with how dry it was, and you had nothing better to do. Just as you were within reach, however, the door opened, and in waltzed your two favorite technical enemies.

“Alright. We’re gonna uncuff you for just a second. If you try to run, Ryan will tase you.” Shane warned. Ryan held up his Police issued taser and stepped closer, holding it steady, though you had enough experience to know it was real without the up-close look.]

“I already told you guys, I’m gonna help. No running here.” You held up a placating hand and smiled reassuringly. Shane got to work, kneeling to push the key into the keyhole. With a clink and a small hand movement on Shane’s part, the cuffs dropped.

You took your few seconds of freedom to flex your wrists and look at the red rings that the cuffs left with distaste, before Shane snapped them back on.

“Get some water, and we’re leaving, ok?”

You nodded, thankful your hands were cuffed in the front rather than behind your back, and filled a paper cup with water. It was lukewarm and tasted vaguely like chlorine. Your throat seemed to think it was perfect, however, because you felt 10 times better almost instantly.

“Ok, let’s go then.” You allowed Ryan to lead you out of the building, taking note of how empty it was. It was most likely later than you thought, and you wondered when the adrenaline would wear off and you’d finally pass out.

Shane helped you clamber (rather awkwardly) into what you assumed was Ryan’s car. His civilian one, not a police issued vehicle. It was nice. It smelled a bit like Chipotle, but nice, nonetheless.

“Should I be concerned that you’re loading me into this car, not telling me where we’re going, with no other witnesses besides you two, who are trusted officers of the law? Is the murderer about to become the murderee?”

You heard Ryan wheeze, an amused mumble of ‘murderee’ accompanying giggles under his breath. Shane merely scoffed at your comment, and assisted in buckling your seatbelt.

The rest of the drive was quiet, though not necessarily uncomfortable. The adrenaline was starting to wear off, and you could feel yourself begin to slump in your seat. You woke with a start when Ryan took a swift and steep turn, your head clunking against the car window painfully.

“Huh? What?” you frantically looked around, taking a moment to register your surroundings. Right. Ryan’s car.

“Easy does it. We’re almost there.” Ryan’s voice was hushed, and Shane was snoring softly in the passenger seat.

You remained awake for the last few minutes of the ride. The neon sign of a motel caught your eye, and as you turned to read it, Ryan flicked his blinker on. Into the nearly empty parking lot of the motel you went.

“This is it, huh? Any reason you chose this particular place?” you asked, your handcuffs jingling indistinctly as you rested your hands on the buckle of your seatbelt.

“It’s cheap and unsuspecting. Randomly selected.” He said simply. An acceptable answer.

Click. After a brief struggle, you had the belt off. You waited for Ryan to wake Shane up before opening the car door.

“Hey, big guy. Hope you’re ok with sleeping in a $50 room with a the killer and I for a few days.” The detective gestured theatrically at the ratty building, grinning when Shane merely shoved him away by his shoulder and groaned.

Ryan helped you out of the car, and the three of you entered the foyer of the motel. Ryan, in all of his exhausted, messy glory, booked one room for all three of you, and dropped the key back on the desk twice while trying to pick it up.

You made eye contact with the desk attendant, who was desperately trying not to stare at the cuffs on your hands. Poor girl, this was probably a lot to process.

As you began the walk to your shared room, she called after you, telling you to remember to be courteous of the other guests, and you chuckled, wondering just what she’d made of the situation. Nothing good, your mind settled on.

You passed out instantly upon arrival to the room. The mattress felt like hell, and you knew your back would ache in the morning, but you were tired enough that it didn’t matter. Shane flopped uncaringly beside you, while Ryan began organizing spare sheets and blankets into a makeshift bed on the floor.

“Ryan, when I develop back problems from these awful sleeping arrangements, you’re buying a Tempur-Pedic for me.” Shane groaned, his face burrowed into a worn pillow. Ryan merely scoffed from across the small room, shucking his suit jacket off onto the floor and stretching his shoulders with a yawn.

You could feel your mind go blank, the two boys’ muffled words echoing around, sounding as if you were underwater.

-~-~-~

You woke much later than your new roommates, feeling groggy and detached. The room smelled like lukewarm breakfast, free and courtesy of the motel, most likely. 

Despite the fact that the scrambled eggs would most likely be rubbery, and the bacon lukewarm and wet with grease, your stomach growled. You lifted your head, bleary eyes examining the room in search of food. Next to the puny tv, on a scratched and beat up dresser were two paper plates, one with bacon, eggs, and soggy toast. The other was piled with small breakfast donuts, powdered and glazed, and you took a moment to thank whatever gods may or may not have placed the pastries in this blessed motel room.

You haphazardly tossed your legs out from under the covers and took several faltering steps towards the dresser, immediately going for the donuts. While shoveling the sweets into your mouth, you took a moment to appreciate the lack of metal cuffs jingling and chaffing around your wrists. 

Speaking of which: where were your ‘captors’?

You looked around, quickly noting that the bed Shane had taken up 80% of last night was now empty. Though, you were pleased to note that Ryan was still curled up in his nest of blankets, fast asleep. He looked peaceful, and you were glad. He deserved to rest, he’d been working so hard.

Working so hard to catch your dumb ass, your inner voice reminded, and you felt a mix of pride and guilt swell in your chest. You’d done good work for yourself maybe, but you’d almost ruined poor Ryan. Look at him, he’s got anxiety!

You returned to the bed, satisfied with your weak attempt at breakfast. Whatever, you didn’t have to run from the cops today, you were working with them. You could afford to treat yourself a tad.

You re-settled yourself amongst the blankets, sighing contentedly, and prepared to go back to sleep, when the motel room door creaked open; a grating noise that practically sent chills up your spine. You didn’t bother to open your eyes.

“Goodmorning, Shane.” You greeted.

“Good afternoon, more like. You and Ryan have been sleeping all day. Time to get up, we have work to do.” Shane set an armful of paper bags down near the door with a soft rustling, and closed it behind him. He easily stepped over Ryan’s sleeping form and stood before you, towering above you and radiating disapproval. You rolled over.

“Look, I’ve had a stressful past few days.” You began, relishing in the tired sigh the tall man used to mask his mirth, “And I’d really appreciate it if you could just let me get a few more hours of rest before making me do your job. Thanks.”

Things were silent for a moment, which you took to mean success. You nuzzled your head further into your shitty pillow joyfully, and took a satisfied inhale of air, stale as it may be.

Then, with one swift movement, Shane yanked your blanket off of you and across the room. You gasped indignantly, sitting up and pointing an accusing finger at the scoundrel.

“I told you, it’s time to get up. Oh, and thanks for eating all of the powdered donuts. Clearly murder isn’t your worst crime to humanity, you absolute glutton.” He joked, snatching the pillow Ryan was clutching like a teddy bear and chucking it at you. You allowed it to hit you in the head, falling back dramatically and faking a weak cough.

“Tell… Ryan… I love him…” you wheezed through harsh breaths.

“Rest in piss.” Shane deadpanned.

From the floor, the detective himself groaned, his eyes fluttering open and the dark circles beneath them somewhat lessened.

“It’s like fuckin’ six in the morning, would you knock it off?” He groaned.

Both you and Shane directed your gazes to the small alarm clock on the bedside table. It read 1:03 PM.

“Hate to break it to you, but it’s 1 o’clock, and we’ve got things to do. Get up, get dressed, get fed, and let’s catch us a killer so we can let another one go.” Shane gave you a firm pat on the shoulder, and brushed past you to the bathroom.

Ryan was up like a shot, on his feet and running his hands through his hair, as if that would make it look any less like a blob of melted dark chocolate. Not like you could judge though, you were certain you looked even messier than them. A good night’s sleep in a shitty bed will do that to you.

“Shane, I believe I heard you say something about a Tempur-Pedic at Ryan’s expense last night?” You called, stretching your arms above your head with a groan.

He didn’t respond, and you took the sound of the sink running to mean he was either brushing his teeth, or taking a weak excuse for a shower. You hoped to anything and everything holy that it was the first option.

“Alright, I’m gonna shower real quick, and we’re leaving.” Ryan said to no one in particular, and thank heavens he did, because you hated that plan and were happy to say so.

“What about me? I have a reputation to keep up! I’m not going around town all sweaty and ruffled.” 

“All you have to do to keep up your reputation is murder people, no one cares if you smell like sweat and day old clothes when you do.”

You hated it when he was right.

“Alright then. Let’s hit the town, boys. I’ll put on my killer-wrangling boots, and we can stop for Dairy Queen, my treat.” You stood from the bed, swinging your arms by your sides loosely, and flashing Ryan’s credit card to him with a wink.

His eyes widened, hands immediately patting his pockets. He stared at you, disbelief coloring his cheeks a rusty pink.

“I’ll wait in the car!” you teased, jingling the detectives keys in your other hand and making a break for the door.

“Hey!” Ryan called after you, but didn’t bother to give chase. Shane did that for him.

In the end, he ended up simply waiting in the car with you, though he insisted on holding onto the keys for you. Ryan was quick to finish his shower, stumbling out of the side door to the room and shooing Shane out of the driver’s seat.

“So boys, where we heading?” you asked, stretching yourself out comfortably in the backseat.

“Oh, you’ll see.”

[meredithinbloom]

dayton talent show 2019 shane and meredith in a bathroom tw: hi sexual tension how are ya, overdose mention

mer: or the first time in a long time, meredith wasn't in the bathroom at a dayton event to steal a couple lines of blow. she was tipsy and only slightly high from the joint she smoked in the coat closet, sure, but honestly, she was just here to fix her hair. short waves framed her face, plump lips finally not cracked and chapped from anxiety chewing. now that wedding season was coming to a close meredith was less busy, getting to enjoy herself at the talent show instead of worrying about where she needed to be and who her next client was. her palms smoothed out her mini skirt, feet shuffling in her doc martins on the tile. okay, one bump wouldn't hurt right? out of her purse came a dime baggie but mer caught her reflection again, tilting her head at the sight. "do i really look like that?" she asked herself as if reflection meredith would answer back. 

shane: Shane needed an escape after her run I in the hallway. She always had been a magnet for drama, no should be no exception. Making her way to the bathroom, she pushed open the door to find Mer talking to the mirror. Fuck, this was not how she wanted the other woman to ever have to see her. 5 days sober and wearing joggers and a plain white t-shirt with her curls up in a messy bun; Shane was not her usual put together self. But she’d much rather be with Meredith instead of both Melody and Rhia. “Yeah, babe, and it’s a good look too,” she relied with a smile ask if the question was asked to her.

mer: head turned quickly, a smile forming on her lips at the sight of shane. she didn't look like she normally did but really, it was kind of a treat. her fingers slipped her baggie of blow back into it's pocket, hiding it away from herself more than shane. meredith had indulged too much these days and she was trying to keep herself more sober for james' sake. and hers, but it was easier to put that shit on someone else. "you think? i was worried she had cut it too short," mer responded, pointing at her hair. "need to pee or were your mer senses tingling that i'd be in here?" somehow they always found each other in bathrooms, not that meredith minded. 

shane: Shane walked over to the other girl, a soft smile on her lips. “I think it looks nice,” she replied, reaching up to tuck Mer’s hair behind her ear, letting her hand linger there for a second before dropping it back to her side. “Really frames your face nicely.” Not that anything could look bad with her, Meredith was one of those girl who would be stunning no matter what. “I think fate just wants us to keep meeting like this.” She shook her head a little, “no, I just needed to hide from some people out there. How’s your night going?”

mer: shane's touch was sweet, mer unable to stop herself from leaning into it a little before her arm hung down to her side. meredith trusted shane's opinion, knowing that she had an affinity for beautiful women. she was always surrounded by them somehow. "thank you," mer let out softly, pressing full lips together. she was trying to figure out what was different about shane in that moment, caught on how her eyes didn't look so hollow. was - was shane sober? "we can hide here, absolutely. people suck. oh, uneventful. lost my lighter which was the peak of my night really. frankly, it just got ten times better seeing you."

shane: Shane always felt an odd sense of calmness when she was around Meredith, like she could be herself and the other wouldn't care or judge her. Shane may have a lot of women in her little black book, but Mer would always be one of her favorites. "You're welcome," she mused. She moved to the counter, pulling herself up to sit on it. Exhaustion was a constant state no days without the extra pick-me-up of drugs. "That would be really nice, actually. Sorry you lost your lighter." Her eyes beamed at the woman's comment, "I'm happy to have made your night better, you definitely have turned mine around."

mer: "you look like you need an energy drink or something," meredith commented, leaning back against the wall as shane took a seat on the counter next to her. "like you've had some late nights or something? busy at the bar?" she hadn't exactly been around church lately. hollis wasn't there to supply and she had been effectively avoiding guerin so what was the point in going to church when she could pray to her own bottle of wine wine in her living room? the only down side was not being hyped up by shane. yet it seemed she didn't need to waltz her ass over there when they kept meeting in places like this. meredith didn't know if shane was one to gossip or even spill about her personal life, they never really made it that far. she could feel her cheeks flush at the compliment, eyes darting over shane's face and then down to her shoes. they still needed a good cleaning from the milkshake that flew over the street and hit her while talking to stella. "is it that bad? whos out there?"

shane: "God I wish they were serving Bang here." Did Meredith not know? Maybe gossip didn't move as fast as she assumed it did in this town. "I, uh, I kinda fucked up... was in the hospital for a couple days." She couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. It was different if Mer had heard from someone else or through text, but saying it in person was harder. Maybe she could just put the pieces together and Shane could avoid it all together. She liked what she had with Mer and didn't want to make things weird by bringing up that bad parts of being a drug addict. So she focused on the easier questions. "Oh just this girl I've been kinda fucking and my ex who called herself 'an old friend'. Probably the most awkward moment of my life."

mer: "i think there's a vending machine. or we can dip to 7-11. they always have a two for one special." she had been actively sucking down peach mango bangs in leu of her coke addiction. it wasn't working and now she was just hyper most days, buzzing on caffeine and fine white powder. this had all started as a closet social drug thing and now it was turning into a full blown addiction. good thing that her mind had wandered into shane territory to save her. eyes went wide knowing that shane had been in the hospital. what a shitty person she was to not even bring her flowers? "oh god i'm - shane, i'm so sorry." meredith reached out to shane, a gentle hand resting on her shoulder. "everything okay?" the brunette listed all the reasons why shane could have been admitted, trying to figure it out without pressing too much. "oh jesus, yeah that sounds miserable. something similar like that happened to me in college. weirdest five minutes of my life and then i ate a whole tub of americone dream to myself. not a proud moment."

shane: "God that would be nice, I'm so tired." Everything was exhausting since she had been home. Normally after this type of thing happened, her parents would ship her off to rehab and it was easier to just lay around until she felt better. But her parents have long since cut her off so she was stuck dealing with the come down alone. She shook her head when Mer apologized, an unfamiliar wave of sadness washing over her. Her hand went up to cover the hand on her shoulder. "I'm okay, sadly, this isn't my first time to do this." This. She still couldn't say it. Something in her always stopped her when she wanted to open up to people. Even with Mer, she couldn't say it. "It was miserable. Hopefully I don't end up eating  whole tub of ice cream, but you never know." She was able to smile and it didn't feel too forced for once.

[dxlansfxck]

Blurred Lines | E.D.

Summary: Smoking weed with Ethan for the first time turns into snacking, cuddling and making out.

Warnings: Smut, Drug use, fluff I guess

~~~~

Ethan and you have been planning this evening out for weeks now, not sure where to buy the things you’ll need, being paranoid about the cops and getting into jail. You’ve had some friends that smoke weed on a regular basis, but you’ve never tried it. Damn, Ethan didn’t even like to drink alcohol, how could someone conclude that he was ready to try some weed now? Both of you were stressed out lately, started arguing over stupid shit, not being handle themselves. They might think that all you need is a good fuck, but well, that’s what you were doing every single night. You’ve had the best sex of your lives, basically trying out everything without kink-shaming the others interests. Grayson himself loves a nice blunt here and there – it was the only thing that could calm him down while having anxiety attacks-, so he offered his brother to get some more when he meets his dealer the next time, maybe even hitting the bong with you.

“Y/N, are you sure you want to do this? It isn’t illegal for no reason. Oh god, has someone ever died from an overdose? Of course people need to smoke that shit if they’re so nervous about doing it, they need something to calm down after the panic. How do we even do this, have you ever rolled a blunt? And shall we smoke a blunt or a joint? Grayson said we could use his bong as well, but isn’t it stronger this way? Y/N, I think we should- ““I think you should shut up, babe. Don’t worry too much, you can’t die from just smoking one or two blunts. Look at Gray, he’s still alive and some days all he does is sitting in his room smoking weed. We’ll be fine, but if you don’t want to do this, we don’t need to, you know that right?” You try to calm your boyfriend down, not wanting to pressure him into something. E just nods, smiling shyly. “I just don’t want to risk anything, but you’re right, nothing could happen. Should we prepare some food in case we’ll get hungry?” You jump up, running into the kitchen and pull premade cookie dough out of the fridge while grinning at Ethan. “Duh. I’m making those, you’ll call the pizza delivery! I want pineapple and sweet corn, maybe some Sprite with it as well. And don’t forget- “”The Ranch dressing, I know, princess. Gimme a sec.”

“Hey guys, I’m back”, Grayson enters the door, already smelling freshly baked cookies and Pizza while stepping out of his shoes. “Damn, I’m smoking with you all the time if you’re coming this prepared.” You just shrug your shoulders. “Didn’t know what I would be in the mood for and this guy”, you point down to your stomach, “Is hungry for everything.” Ethan laughs while letting him fall right next to his girl, putting on ‘Mulan’ on the screen. He knows it’s your favorite and he learned to love it too.

“How are we going to do this, Gray?” “I already bought premade blunts, it’s easier”, he holds them up, so you could see them. “Ready, folks?” Grayson sits right next to you, placing one of the blunts between his lips and lighten it before taking a deep breath. He exhales with closed eyes before handing it over to you, who repeats the process. Ethan is the last one, still a bit nervous but curious. He didn’t like the taste, the irritation in his throat and the coughing afterwards which made him drink a whole cup of Sprite. But it gets easier each time he hits the blunt, soon the second one is all smoked up as well and Grayson went back to his room to play some Fortnite. Ethan and you were just looking at each other, grinning, and enjoying some of your pizza while finishing the movie, not feeling high at all.

“Shall we go to our room? We can watch some YouTube in bed, the couch isn’t as comfy.” You nod, grabbing the cookies and Sprite before going upstairs, sliding directly into your bed. “What do you want to watch? Shane?” Of course, you watched Shane, your favorite YouTuber. Conspiracy after conspiracy, Ethan just shakes his head. “Don’t get it. How’s he so smart?” Then he starts laughing. “Oh well, he just googles the stuff, I guess. But where does the idea to google it come from? He must be smart. I’m not that smart, but that’s okay, right?” He looks over at you which is totally lost in the video. “Mhm, yes, smart”, while munching some cookies. “Dude, these are so fucking good, they taste like a chocolate explosion in my mouth. Try one!” “Oh fuck, you’re right”, he speaks with a mouth full of cookies. “They’ve never been this good, I swear, if everything tastes like this if you’re stoned, I want to smoke every day.” He looks over to his girlfriend, chocolate spread around your mouth, the hair falling out of your messy bun, wearing nothing but E’s old football tee. “God, you’re so beautiful, princess”, wrapping his arms around you, Ethan can’t stop admiring you. “Your skin is so soft, even though your legs aren’t shaved, how do you do this? HOW?” You just laugh it off, placing one hand on Ethan’s cheek. “Thank you, baby. But you’re beautiful too. People may call you hot or handsome, but you’re truly beautiful, inside and outside. I love you, Ethan.” “I love you too, Val.” Your lips met in a soft, lovely kiss, different to your normal making outs. Usually, the couple would fight over dominance, this time there wasn’t any dominance at all, just sweet love.

You kissed for what seems like hours, exploring your bodies and showing love to each other. You were on top of Ethan, kissing his jawline, pressing sweet little kisses onto his Adam’s apple down to his rising chest. “You smell so good, E. Like cookies, sugar and yourself.”, You mutter as you softly lick over his lightly sweaty chest. Ethan couldn’t hide that quiet moan that leaves his skin as soon as your tongue reached out for his nipple.

Your lips wander down his toned chest and the slightly hairy trail down to his boxers, leaving a few love bites here and there – the lovely making out session quickly turning into what you usually do. “Baby, no teasing, please.” Ethan grabs a fistful of your hair, while looking down into your sparkling, yet red and hooded eyes. Just as you bite the skin beneath his belly button, he throws his head back with a deep growl. “I feel like I’m in the sky, babe.”

You just laugh while making your way downwards, licking and kissing his thick thighs, lightly scratching the skin with her nails. “I love your thighs, E.” “And I love your wet little pussy on them, Y/N. But first of all, I want this pretty mouth of yours”, you know how much Ethan loves blowjobs, he seems to enjoy them as much as sex and you enjoy them too – having all this power over Ethan, making him squirm and shiver under your touch while hearing him moan your name is what makes you so needy for his cock. But as much as you likes him in your mouth, you’re such a sucker for teasing, slowly bringing his blood to a boil while Ethan gets almost angry at you. Just as you begins to kitten lick his shaft while slowly massaging his balls, he grabs your cheeks and makes you look at him. “What did I tell you, Y/N? No. Fucking. Teasing”, with that, he shoves you back down right onto his dick, listening to your gagging sounds while grinning. “That’s my girl, c’mon”, he lays back down but keeps looking at you swallowing his penis like a goddess. His groans turn into moans, sweat drips down his forehead and he feels like all his muscles were getting sore from tensing them. You look up to him here and there, but keep focused on what’s in your mouth, trying to reach every inch of skin, tasting whatever he was giving you. “’m close, princess. Now gimme a taste of your pretty little flower down there”, Ethan rolls both of you, giving the love of his live a quick peck before laying between your legs, not hesitating in diving right in. He kisses your folds, nibbling on the sensitive skin and uses his long fingers to collect your juices before sucking the sweetness off them. Your fingers run through his soft hair, grabbing a few locks to tug on. Yet another growl leaves his throat before he softly bites into the most sensitive spot. His name leaves your lips more than once, while he keeps teasing you here and there, not really trying to build up an orgasm, more like giving you as much please as possible without you being worn out afterwards. “E, please. Let me cum”, you keep pressing your pussy onto his face, wanting more than what he was currently giving you. “Let me come or start fucking me, but you can’t keep doing this with me, please”, you whine, trying to get anything from him. “You wanna cum, babe? C’mon, use me. Make yourself come. Grind down onto my face, beautiful. I know how much you love that”, he holds out his tongue, nuzzles his nose into you and lets you do whatever you desire. “My god, E, you’re killing me”, you grab another fistful of his silky hair, just to press him right into your folds, almost slamming onto his pretty face, spreading your juices all over him – what a joy to kiss him later – as you feel the orgasm build up. “Yes, E. Keep your tongue there, babe.” You close your eyes, practically seeing stars dancing around, while bringing yourself to an end just as Ethan inserts two of his fingers into you.

You glare down at him, wanting to punch the smirk off his face. “That was rude, E. I hope you’ll fuck me good. Otherwise I’ll have Gray to do so”, you flip over, kneeling on all fours in front of him, slowly wiggling your ass. “C’mon, E. Show me what you’ve got.” Ethan didn’t know what to say at this point, he was getting kinda angry, but you being so commanding was a huge turn on. The weed in his system makes him think way slower, he didn’t want it to be over yet, he wanted to fuck you long and good, trying out every position and place he could. Otherwise, his dick was throbbing, and he knew he couldn’t handle it much longer, not with the view of this perfectly round ass in front of his face. He gives them a quick slap, watching the cheeks jiggle in front of him before directly pushing into you. “Never even think about Grayson while you’re in bed with me, Y/N. You know that. There’s no comparison between us when it comes to sex”, his thrusts get deeper and faster, his entire body was on fire, he was light headed and as soon as he closed his eyes, he felt everything to much more intense.

You on the other hand were about to come again the second he entered you. He was pounding into you without mercy, sending you straight to cloud 9. You couldn’t think about anything else besides his large hands on your hips, his thick cock entering you again and again and his growls next to your ear, making you wish the moment could last forever. You felt the infamous knot in your stomach before grabbing one of his hands for support. “Let go, angel. I’ll be there soon”, he coos in your ear while speeding up. “Fuck, E!”, you let out a high-pitched moan before almost collapsing in his touch. Ethan releases right after you, pressing feather-like kisses onto you back, while massaging the tender skin. “I think we should get high more often, Y/N.” His angel laughs, before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “But first, we need more cookies.”

[huntertales]

Part Two: Like Father, Like Son. (Remember the Titans S08E16)

Episode Summary: Sam, Dean and the reader are stumped when they investigate a possible zombie case where an amnesiac man, simply known as Shane, dies and then revives himself once a day. After Shane is attacked by the goddess Artemis, the reader and the Winchesters realize he’s not a zombie but instead a God, more specifically, Prometheus. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader. Word Count: 7,048.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Please Note: This is highly unedited. All mistakes are my own and I’ll fix them probably by tomorrow night. i’m slowly starting to realize this episode is making me write way more than normal. I just wanted this part up lol

You and the boys headed back to the motel to figure out exactly what the stranger named Shane was—and how he was able to bring himself back from the dead. There was a few unorthodox methods a hunter used to make sure the stranger they were about to help really wasn't the monster they were trying to track down, using a cheap trick to get into their good graces. The first one was the most painful; Dean ran a very sharp silver blade over Shane's forearm, drawing up blood from the cut he inflicted. The only kind of response you got was a slightly hissing sound at the prickling feeling, no burning of skin or cries of agony from the burning feeling. That ruled out anything with a weakness of silver.

You sprinkled a little bit of Borax over his hand to make sure he wasn't a leviathan when he was distracted by the wound, no sight of more skin burning meant he wasn't any of the creatures the boys faced against during your year of absence. He was almost in the clear, there was just one more test that mattered the most. Dean wiped the blade clean from the bandanna he pulled out from the back of his slacks and put it over Shane's still bleeding wound.

You handed over the flask filled with holy water and ordered him to drink it, ignoring his remark about your tests. Shane cautiously sniffed the contents inside to see what it was, as if he was worried that you were going to poison him. When he smelt nothing, he took a sip of the liquid, only to find out it tasted like water. Good old holy water. Harmless to humans, like acid for demons. He swallowed it down like it was nothing. No smoking, no choking. You grabbed the flask back from him and screwed the top back on, letting out the slightest bit of relief to see that he might be the slightest bit human...ish.

You still didn't understand how he dodged death. It felt like you and the boys were the only lucky ones who managed to snag a "get out of death" free card a few too many times. That's because you knew a few tricks and had friends in high places. Shane seemed like a regular old Joe, someone who didn't know what was going on himself. Which you knew didn’t help you out.

“All right, so, how long has this dying thing been going on?” Dean asked the man, wanting to get some information to wrap his head around what was going on with him.

“As long as I can remember, but my memory only goes back a few years.” Shane said.

"Wait, so now you have amnesia?" You asked. You brow arched up ever so slightly in surprise at the progression of the things you were learning about this man, what little there was of him it seemed like it. "How do you know your name?"

“My real name isn’t Shane. It was given to me because...I don’t know,” The man shrugged, not sure of a better kind of excuse to explain the missing gaps in his memory. “people had to call me something.”

“Okay. So, then,” Sam slowly asked, “what happened to you?”

“Got pulled off a mountain in Europe. They said that I got caught up in an avalanche. I don’t remember anything from before the rescue. When I realized my condition, I knew I couldn’t be around other people, so I built a little cabin, learned to hunt, kept to myself. Seemed easiest that way.” Shane said, telling you the story about the things that he knew. You crossed your arms over your chest and listened to how things seemed quiet enough for him, until he went on with more details about how death never stopped trying. “Then a couple pot growers grew nervous with me being so near their crop. Shot me— twice. I figured it was time to move on.”

“Right into the grille of that pickup.” Dean said, finishing the rest of the story that lead all of you here to this very moment.

Shane fell silent for a moment after clearing up the situation, and telling you much as he knew to all of you. He realized that dying was a rather messy situation. Even with his body healed from all the injuries, he felt the need to get himself more comfortable knowing that he was going to be sticking around in your custody. "You think maybe I could clean up?"

"Yeah, man. Knock yourself out." Dean said, pointing a finger to the open door leading to the bathroom. You stepped out of his way while flashing a small smile, knowing all of this was a lot for Shane to process. You handed back the flask to Sam who tucked it away into the inside pocket of his suit jacket for safekeeping the next time all of you might need it. "Well, that's definitely something."

"Yeah, but maybe he's not the monster." Sam suspected. "Maybe he's the victim."

"You thinking curse?" You curiously asked.

"Could be looking for a witch, yeah." Sam said. You crossed your arms tightly over your chest from the mention of the creature you took down before your hiatus from the trials and hunting. Because the last time you dealt with one ended so well with things. You really didn’t want to go face to face with another one. But if you had to, so be it. Right now you had more pressing matters to worry about, like the revived amnesiac man in your motel room bathroom. "You know what? He's parked here. He's safe. Maybe it's not a bad idea if we get another room and I bunk with him until we can figure this out."

"All right,” Dean agreed with his brother’s plan, thinking it was the best option you had. Only on one condition. “but you're the one going full-cavity for the hex bag."

You couldn't help yourself when you cracked the smallest of a smile from the burden thrown at Sam to figure out exactly why Shane was unsuspectable to death like a normal person. You stepped over to the younger man and gave him a supportive pat on the shoulder from the suggestion of who might be to blame backfired in his face. He didn't seem the least bit amused like you and his brother were. You headed off back to your own motel room when the discomfort of the heels matched with your dress pants became too much. First things first, you needed to change into some pants that could let you breathe freely. And then it was time to figure out the strange case of Shane and his immunity to dying.

+ + +

Later into the evening you were back in your own motel room lying on the bed with your laptop propped up on your outstretched legs and Dean by your side, occupying himself by watching some TV to pass the time. Sam took the table after Shane fell asleep, deciding to be polite and crash in your room to do some research before wanting to get some shuteye himself. You and Sam were doing your own separate research to find some sort of answer to figure out what was going on here. So far you were find a whole lot of jack squat, but you were determined to get your answer. It was out there somewhere, and if anyone could find it, you could.

While you were scrolling through your latest search that didn't seem like much compared to the rest of the websites you checked out, the information you were reading was enough to keep your attention and forget about the voices coming from the TV you barely could hear. It was when you got to an interesting part of the article you were reading that a noise broke your concentration, and jump slightly out of Dean's embrace he had around your shoulders at the unexpected banging noises that caught you off guard. You heard another noise just a few seconds later, making you realize it was coming from the motel room next to yours. The one Sam was supposed to be sharing with Shane, who was supposed to be fast asleep.

You furrowed your brow in confusion from the noises you were hearing, pushing your laptop off to the bed and swinging your legs around so you were sitting on the side. Dean turned off the TV and immediately jumped to his feet, grabbing the knife he had stashed underneath his pillow for emergencies like this. Sam shut his own laptop and slowly stood up when the noises went on and growing even louder. You lingered behind in your own motel room when the boys decided to check things out and figure out what was making all the noises.

You made sure not to be a sitting duck if things went south, you grabbed Dean’s pistol from the duffel bag and made sure it was loaded like always and ready for whoever might come your way. Maybe Shane accidentally stumbled his way through the motel room, it was pretty dark at this time of night. But you had a feeling that wasn’t the real reason. It never was that simple when you were on hunts like this. You always had to be cautious with danger lurking all around.

Dean opened up the door to the motel room to stumble upon a sight he wasn’t expecting; a woman dressed all in black fighting with Shane, who seemed to have some moves from what the man could see in the darkness. He decided to take his shot against the stranger, welding up the knife after he saw she had one of her own that she was trying to use against Shane. Dean was no amateur when it came to fighting, but he only lasted a few seconds, not even able to throw a few punches before he lost his footing after the woman tripped him, making him fall right on his back. Sam headed into the room to try and intervene, but it seemed what him and his brother were going up against wasn't human.

You remained by the window with the curtain drew back sightly what was going on in the next room over. So far all you were hearing was more noises and banging sounds, no clue as to how things were progressing. You remained vigilant with the gun by your side and finger on the trigger, ready to do what you needed in order to keep yourself and the boys safe. When you peered out closer to the window when you heard the noises grow louder, you noticed something go flying out the door, making you curious as to what it was. When you peered closer to the window, you looked down at the sidewalk to see something lying on the floor. It took you only a second to realize what it was, or should you say who.

“Sammy!” You called out the younger man’s name in a panicked voice when you saw it was him who was lying on the concrete after being thrown out by some kind of force. You headed over to him, crouching down to make sure he was all right. Besides the unexpected twist in events, he seemed all right, enough for the both of you to figure out who the hell Shane was fighting.

You followed behind Sam when he headed back to the motel room to see Shane was fighting the woman again, matching with her rather impressive fighting skills that were no match against someone like him. You watched as the both of them ducked it out, blocking each thrown punch and kick, Shane dodging the knife she had when she attempted to use it against him. Shane somehow managed to grab the knife and twist her arm in an angle that made her cry out from pain, sending her to stumble forward. And in some swift and smooth motion, Shane threw the woman against the wall, pointing the knife against her throat, having a question for her all of you had been thinking yourselves.

“Who are you?” Shane demanded to know.

The woman didn’t flinch from the feeling of the blade against her cheek, or break her eye contact with Shane while she stared at him. It was four against one. But she wasn’t sticking around long enough to see were things could go. She slowly wrapped her fingers around Shane’s wrist, telling him exactly who she was. “Now I’m your worst enemy.”

And just like that, all of you watched as she moved her grasp to the knife, letting herself and the weapon disappear into a puff of smoke. You stepped inside the room now that the coast was clear, your mind was suddenly running with too many questions that demanded to be answered from what you just witnessed. The only one you managed to get out was, “Who the hell was that?”

Shane seemed baffled much as you were from what just went down. He felt himself too out of breath to answer your question, he inhaled a few deep ones before admitting the only truth he knew for sure. “She—She said she knew me.”

“Yeah, how?” Sam questioned the man, shutting the motel room door to give you all privacy.

"I don't know, but I could have sworn that she was upset I didn't know her back." Shane said. He found himself finding the ability to breathe getting hard to do so, you furrowed your brow slightly when you saw him leaning against the wall before grabbing his left arm, like it hurt. You guessed it was from the fight that he was just in, but the way he was behaving was starting to make you concerned it was something more.

“This is a lot more than a curse, man. You’ve got, like, some tiger blood.” Dean said, impressed at the fighting skills the man seemed he didn’t know he had. “Where did you learn that kung fu?”

Shane couldn't answer the question when he felt himself falling to his knees at the sudden stabbing pain in his chest, the grip around his arm went directly to where his heart was. You had a feeling he wasn't having a panic attack from the way he was pressing a hand against his chest and the feeling he was enduring at the moment.

"Hey, buddy, you okay?" Sam asked the man in a concerned tone of voice from the way he was suddenly acting that was starting to make you wonder if something else was going on.

“Yeah. Yeah, I just need a minute.” Shane mumbled, managing to take a deep breath in some kind of attempt to help ease the sudden chest pain that came out of nowhere. “I’ve never been in a fight in my whole life.”

You would beg to differ from the impressive moves you saw the guy do, things that you highly doubt a normal person would be capable of. Shane suddenly let out a noise that sounded like a mix between a gasp, and like someone was restricting his airflow. Your eyes grew wide at the sight you were seeing, and how you could make it stop before things could get worse for him. But it didn't seem like you had much time when Shane let out a few more strangled breaths before falling to the ground.

“Is he having a heart attack?” Dean asked, as if it wasn’t clear enough.

“Do we call 911?” Sam wondered, you rolled your eyes at his suggestion.

“And tell them what?” You asked him. “That the dead guy he stole from the morgue is alive and having a coronary?”

What was there really to do? You and the boys watched as Shane slowly withered on the floor from the excruciating pain he must have been feeling. You hoped this death was the most quick out of the ones that he suffered through before, watching as in the matter of minutes he slowly stopped moving. You checked his pulse after slightly nudging him with your foot, coming to the conclusion he was in fact dead...Again.

+ + +  

Coming back from the dead took some time, at least, that’s what it was like for you when you kicked the bucket after the countless time it happened to you. The boys moved Shane’s body from the floor to the bed wanting to make his resurrection at least more comfortable from the few times he endured before. There wasn't much for any of you to do while you waited around for something to happen with Shane's body. You just stared at his lifeless corpse, waiting for some kind of movement to see his body was healing himself. Or whatever was happening to the poor bastard.

Heart attacks strike at random times with no warning, mostly to older folks with clogged arteries. Why did it happen to someone who seemed healthy? Maybe being shot at, hit by a car and then a bear triggered it. Shane didn't have a clue what was going on with him, neither did you or the boys. Morning came around and still no sign of life from Shane after you checked his pulse once again to see if there was any changes. You hated when things got like this, even more confusing with questions you couldn't answer. All you could do was let out a sigh of frustration.

“I feel like I’m sitting Shiva.” Dean mumbled, growing antsy himself from the lack of progress in the past few hours with absolute no change.

“Well, that’s not—nevermind. We need to think.” Sam said, deciding not to waste his breath on correcting his brother on how to properly use the saying. Instead, using the time to brainstorm out loud. “Guys, what do we know of that has Jason Bourne fighting skills, dies a lot, and has a history with violent women?”

You crossed your arms over your chest and began to try and wrack your brain of the knowledge you knew about the supernatural, along with any possibilities of things you came across in the past. You found your eyes wandering over to someone who crossed your mind, and it seemed you weren't the only one when you and Dean happened to tell his younger brother the person the both of you thought of. It was in fact the younger Winchester. He fit the profile to a T, after all. "You?"

Sam's face dropped at hearing your guess that he wasn't the least bit amused with, you shrugged your shoulders from the lack of proper answers you could give him. You were stumped about this much as he was about what was going on to Shane, and how he was jumping in and out of death. Your brainstorming session was momentarily put on pause for the time being when your attention was drawn to the motel room door, after someone knocked on it. You furrowed your brow slightly at who was here so early in the morning.

Dean stood up from the bed and headed over to the window,  slowly drawing back the curtain to see who was standing outside on the steps. He saw a woman with her hands in her jacket pockets, waiting for someone to answer while she looked around the parking lot. She might look normal, but nothing was it seemed to the naked eye. He headed over to the door and pressed his gun against the door as a step of precaution before opening it enough only to let half of his body show. You were tempted to reach for your own weapon if things were to go down like how they had hours ago.

“May I help you?” Dean asked the stranger.

“Agent Boham?” The woman addressed him by the name he gave to the police department.

Dean stared at the woman for a second as to why she would know such a thing, cautious about the possibility she might be working with said people. After all, they were sort of one short of a body. "And you are?"

"This is gonna sound really strange, but I'm looking for a corpse that went missing today. The coroner said that you were the last one to see it." She said. Dean watched as she pulled a rolled up newspaper that was tucked underneath her arm, showing him the same news article you had that lead him here. Proving she wasn't a cop looking for the body, but someone who seemed to personally know him. "I'm Haley."

"Uh," Dean opened up the door wider to introduce you and his brother when the both of you headed over to see who he was talking to. You peeked out from Sam's large frame, spotting the woman...and a little boy by her side. You greeted him with a friendly smile, and a slightly cautious expression as to why she was here in the first place no early in the morning and asking questions that made you suspicious of her. "This is Agent Jones and Agent Clyde."

"Why are you looking into our John Doe?" Sam questioned the woman for her reason of being here, and as to why she brought a child along to see a dead body.

"Well, his name is Shane. At least, that's what I called him." Haley explained herself to all of you, and dropping a bombshell you weren't expecting. Your gaze fell to the little boy next to her side again when you realized who he was. "I'm the mother of his son.”

Haley was no threat to all of you, as a matter of fact, she was the only person you had with a connection to the man. Dean swiftly tucked away his gun into the back of his jeans and opened the door wider, crouching down to her son that had to be no more older than seven or eight. He gave him a smile and placed up his hand, trying to ease the situation with a high five. "Hey. Why don't you slap some skin, huh?"

Her son didn't seem to be in a friendly mood towards a couple of new faces he had never seen before, probably confused and a little bit scared at what was going on. "He's shy." Haley said, wrapping an arm tighter around her son's shoulder when he pressed himself closer against her side. "It's okay, Oliver."

Haley comforted her child before moving her gaze upwards again, and into the motel room she could see clearly into now that the door was wide open at this point. Her eyes locked on a body of a lifeless man she'd been tirelessly searching for. Dean realized the mistake he made from the expression that crossed her made, and knowing how it wasn't helping Oliver feel more comfortable at the sight of a dead body. "Oh, you weren't supposed to see—"

"It's okay." Haley mumbled as some kind of reassurance. Her focus was kept on the man when she squeezed by Dean and into the motel room, looking over her shoulder to give instructions to her son to make sure he stayed out of trouble. "Stay with the nice FBI agents, Oliver."

You looked over your shoulder to see Haley approach Shane's lifeless body, a sight that no child should see. Dean stood back up to try and block the sight from Olver as an attempt to make him feel more safe. You tried to take a crack at making him feel more comfortable around you. You crouched down the best that you could so you were at eye level with him and gave the kid a big, warm smile. You outstretched your hand for him to shake, only he left you hanging. He didn't do anything but stand there, you retracted your hand back to your side, deciding it was best to talk to him in a calm and comforting voice.

"Hi, Oliver. My name is Y/N. This is Dean, and that guy is Sam." You introduced yourself and the boys to Oliver, pointing at each of them for him to remember who was who. "The grown ups need to talk about some stuff that you probably won't care about. In the meantime, why don't we do something fun? Do you like to swing?" Oliver nodded his head slowly, making you smile at his response. "Me too. Why don't you let me grab my jacket and we can do that."

You pushed yourself back up to your feet and quickly grabbed your jacket from the seat, slipping it on and heading outside to meet Oliver again. You outstretched your hand once again for him to take it, and suprislnyl , he did. You gave him another smile and headed over to the swing-set that happened to be only a small distance around from the motels, giving Oliver something to do while his mother confirmed it was the same man she had been searching for years.

Oliver took a seat on one of the swings and you pushed him for a few minutes, trying to make small talk with him about how everything was going to be okay or if he wanted to go higher. He didn't say a single word in the few minutes that you were with him, making your heart ache for what he must be going through at the moment. So confused, and a little bit scared at the things he was hearing. One of the worst things about this job was when kids got involved, even if they were just around to hear the grown ups talk about things that went bump in the night. They should be able to maintain that slightest bit of innocence before the real world ruined it.

You continued pushing Oliver on the swing for another few minutes before you saw Haley and the boys step out from the motel room and headed over to the picnic table to talk among themselves. You told Oliver that you needed to speak to his mother and you'd be back soon, he didn't respond with a single word. You let out a sigh and headed over to the table, taking a seat next to Haley to hear her side of the story about how she got herself into this situation.

"When I was younger, I had friends that wanted to climb this mountain in Europe, and I thought it sounded exciting...so I joined them." Haley said, telling you the story about how she met a man with no name and the fateful night that caused her to fall pregnant with his child.

"The avalanche?" You asked, having a feeling you knew how the two met.

"He—He told you?" Haley sounded surprised at the bit of information you and the boys knew, hopeful there was more to share. "What else did he say?"

"Just that he doesn't remember how he got there." Sam said, telling her possibly Shane’s first and only memory he could recollect from this cycle of living and dying through the years.

"My friends were gone, and when I found him, his clothes were torn off, his eyes were frozen solid, but he was still alive." Haley said. "I just knew there was something off about him, the way that...he would—"

"Die everyday?" Dean finished the woman's sentence, having a feeling where she was trying to g with this story. Haley fell silent for a moment at how you seemed to catch onto the pattern. You seen it a few times and heard about his previous incidences about Shane's odd habits and the universe's fun toying with his life over and over again.

"Yeah. I thought it was from exposure or shock. Maybe he was unconscious. We were both in bad shape. And I couldn't have made it down the mountain if it weren't for him." Haley continued on, the smallest smile spreading across her lips at the memory of the time. Despite it being hell and torture, something came of it. A connection forged in a near life experience. For her, at least. "And when we got to the bottom, we...realized that it had become something else, and we spent the night together, and while were, you know...He had a heart attack."

Your eyebrows shot up at the twist in the story you weren't expecting, Dean sounded takenback himself from the mumbled response. "Awkward."

"So, I called 911, and they couldn't save him." Haley went on. “And I had to go down to I.D. the body..."

“He popped up again." Sam said. "Alive."

"I freaked out. And I ran. And nine months later, I had Oliver." Haley looked over her shoulder and to her son, who was still swinging by himself, but at a much slower pace than when you had been with him. You noticed his head was hanging low, making you feel even worse for some reason. There was a part of you that was telling you there was something wrong with him, but you couldn't put a finger on it. The more you observed him, the more the worry for him grew and his well being. "I hired a private investigator. I really tried to find him, but when they gave up, I gave up. Until a couple of months ago."

"Now, what made you look again?" You asked her out of curiosity.

"The worst thing." Haley said, her voice cracking slightly.

The way she responded to your question made you wonder what she was talking about, and why she grew emotional all of a sudden. You were tempted to try and get more information out of her, but before you could even get a single word out, your attention was drawn somewhere else. One of the doors to the motel room opened up and stepped out Shane, who was looking for alive than he had from the last time you saw him. He stood on the small porch area that overlooked the parking lot, as if he was trying to figure out where you and the boys went. He noticed all of you were sitting not too far away, but it was the sight of a face that he remembered from when he spoke it, and in a rather surprised voice after all these years.

Haley pushed herself up to her feet and began walking over to the man when he began to do the same. She called for her son to join her side, deciding it was time to act on the reason why the both of them were here in the first place. She held Oliver close to her side and gave Shane a smile from what she was about to say. “I thought it was time you two meet. This is Oliver.”

It didn’t take very much effort for the dots to start connecting in Shane’s mind from what why Haley was introducing her to this seven year old, or why Oliver looked an awful lot like him. The night they shared together didn't just end with her finding out about his condition, it caused them to have a child together.

You found yourself standing outside for a little longer than you anticipated just to watch the sight of Shane personally meet his son for the very first time, and reunite with the woman who helped save his life from years of misery and from hers being cut so short after losing the friends that brought here there in the first place. She would have died on the mountain, he would have suffered countless freezing cold deaths. Even though they knew each other for a short time, there was no denying you saw something between them that never faded from that night. Shane pushed his son on the swing while Haley was close by. A bonge forged from tragedy.

You heard the motel door open, breaking your concentration on the family to see that it was Dean bearing gifts in the form of a ceramic mug filled with what little caffeine you were allowed to have and a bottle of your prenatal vitamins you almost forgot to take. You gave him a smile and mumbled a thank you from remembering and swallowed down the pill, giving you one less thing to worry about today. He joined you at your spot next to the porch staircase to silently observe the parents that were playing with their son, at least, to an outsider's perspective.

It was weird to think that it might you and Dean in the near future. Hopefully the whole “Dad coming back from the dead” thing wouldn’t be attached to their growing up. That was years in the making, you still needed to have the child to worry about things like that.

When you heard the motel door room open and shut for a second time, you looked over your shoulder to see it was Sam heading down to join you and his brother after spending some time doing more research. “Did you find anything?” You asked him, taking another sip of your drink.

"Well...looks like we were right about the whole curse thing.” Sam said. “From what I can tell, we're looking at a titan."

"A titan?" You repeated after the man, sounding a little confused as to what that was. "I'm a little rusty on my Greek mythology, but isn't that like, a God?"

"More like a proto-God, like the Gods before the Gods." Sam explained to the both of you. "They ruled over Greece before Zeus and the rest of the Olympian Gods overthrew them."

“Okay, so who is this guy?” Dean asked his brother.

"Best as I can tell? Prometheus." Sam said.

“Wait, are you serious? Didn't he like..." You trailed off when you tried to remember what you did know about the figure that sounded familiar to you. "Didn't he go against someone? Steal fire or something?"

"Yep. He 'Ocean's Eleven'd' Mount Olympus and stole the flames from Olympia." Sam told you a little about the man and his brave act. Dean presumed it was all for kicks, but in fact, it was for a greater cause. "For us, actually. Zeus decided to revoke humanity's ability to make fire so we couldn't cook, couldn't stay warm, couldn't see in the dark.”

“Sounds like a monster’s paradise.” Dean remarked. “And this guy made it right for us?”

“Yeah. And in return,” Sam went on about the good deed that didn’t go unpunished for dear old Prometheus. “Zeus decided to strap him to that mountain and make him relive death every day.”

"Damn. Every day for how long? No wonder the guy's hard drive is fried." Dean said. Reliving the same day over and over again was mental torture enough, but to have the same death could make anyone go insane. It explained why Shane didn't remember who he really was. "Did you figure out who Xena-wannabe was?"

“I’m guessing Artemis, Zeus’ daughter. She’s been known to carry around weapons like that dagger.” Sam said. “They’re nasty. They’ll kill immortals dead.”

“All right. Well, we’ve never battled a God curse before.” Dean said. “Hope we can break it.”

It wasn't your first time going up against a God, but you never had the chance to break a curse that was struck down before the dawn of humankind. You studied up a little more to get yourself familiar with Prometheus, who had a rather traumatizing life. His punishment for death wasn't battling the frozen temperatures, but having a bird peck and rip out his liver, only for it to grow back again the same day. For the same, gruesome experience to happen over and over again. Now that you knew who Shane really was, it was time to come clean with the truth.

While Haley and Oliver continued to play outside, you turned the laptop around that Sam had been reading just a little while ago to show Shane what the younger man found. There were a few paintings of Prometheus chained down to a mountain and taking his punishment, something that he’d been during for quite some time now. Now it was time to explain what Shane was looking at was in fact him, even if he couldn’t recollect on the memory. “This is an eagle chowing down on your intestines, you don’t remember that?”

Shane shook his head no, you let out a sigh from how this was going. "Okay, look," Sam said, deciding there was no time anymore to beat around the bush. He was blunt with the man, telling him the truth up front. "I hate to break it to you, but you are Prometheus."

"Well, then, the best thing for me to do is to get as far away from them as I can." Shane said. It seemed he was taking the whole being a God pretty well, but you found yourself unsteady about what he thought the right thing to do was.

"Wait. I'm sorry." You said, raising a hand slightly in the air to stop him from saying another word. You felt the ends of your lips tweak, knowing Shane had accidentally hit a nerve in you from a situation you had endured not too long ago. "You just discovered that you have a seven-year-old son, and you want to walk away?"

"And I'm a God. And this God and his daughter are hunting me." Shane said, giving you all the reasons he thought was going to lead his family into danger. "What other choice do I have?"

“Okay.” Sam spoke up, shutting the laptop and taking control of the conversation before things could stray from what needed to be discussed. "We're gonna help you, but we need a plan first, and we can't come up with one here."

“Where are we going?” Shane asked.

“Someplace safe.” Dean ressured the man.

The one place where you had been calling home for over a month now, where no supernatural creature could get itself into, no matter how hard they tried. The Men of Letters bunker. You just needed to round everyone up and hit the road soon as possible. You were thinking that the danger wasn't going to begin until you started to poke the beast known as Zeus, but it seemed you had another problem you had to worry about. You thought Haley and Oliver were peacefully playing outside without much of a problem, but it seemed that was true for only so long.

When the motel door swung open without warning and Haley carried her unconscious son, you jumped straight up at the sight of his head wound that looked nasty. A sense of panic came over you from what was going on, your mind jumping to the fact that he needed to seek medical treatment—and fast. You took out your phone, asking Haley if you should call for an ambulance. Her response took you by surprise when she told you not to do so. She didn't seem like a neglectful parent, which meant one thing.

"He's dying, isn't he?" Shane asked, having a feeling he knew what was going on with his son.

"I was going to tell you," Haley said. "I just wanted you to have a chance to adjust."

"Wait a second," Sam said to Shane. "He has your curse?"

Haley had no clue what all of you were talking about, this curse that sounded like something bad. And it was. You felt your heart drop into your stomach from the sight you were enduring at this very second. Oliver wasn’t suffering from a head injury, he was dying in front of your very eyes. Whatever kind of punishment Zeus put on Prometheus had went down to his offspring. You felt your slowly rest over your stomach, knowing you knew a little something about family curses. You might have gotten rid of yours, but there was always that fear your kids were going to inherit the bad genes. Your personality traits you wanted to weed out into your offspring. It seemed Oliver got his father's eyes, and punishment from the looks of it.

+ + +

You and the boys were back in Lebanon by the next morning with Shane and Haley, along with a still unresponsive Oliver. You didn't waste any time with a history of the place or a tour, you found the nearest room closest to the opening of the bunker and dedicated it as a spot for the kid to recuperate. You opened up the door and stepped inside, following everyone else. Shane carried his son into the room and put him down on the bed that you had conveniently tied up during your break from hunting. It wasn't much, but it'd do for now until you figured out how to solve this problem.

"This curse was put on you." Dean said. "Why the kid?"

“You keep saying ‘curse.’ What curse?” Haley asked for what felt to be the thousandth time, not sure how much she could handle this conversation she wasn’t apart of.

“How long has this been happening?” You asked her.

"Oh, well, I—since he turned seven a few months ago." Haley said. "It started with the dying, and then he stopped talking."

“Wait, seven?” Sam repeated what he heard from the woman. You gave him a slightly confused look as to why he reacted so surprised. Because it meant Oliver was about to descend into a life he shouldn’t suffer. “Age seven marks one of the first Greek rites of manhood.”  

"So, what? Are you saying the curse is hardwired into his programming?" Dean wondered. "How do you know that?"

"Look at me. I'm sorry that I ran out on you all those years ago. I was scared. I didn't understand what was going on. But we have a child, and whatever you have, he has. I need to know how to stop it." Haley couldn't take being out of sync with the conversation that was about her child, who she raised on her own for the past seven years. She needed to hear the truth, even if it didn't make sense. She deserved to know. "What curse?"

[Next Part]

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[artificialqueens]

Objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they appear (Craquameron) - Saiphl - Chapter 2

Hello again guys, thanks for reading and supporting this little project, it’s amazing getting all that response from you.

Still, I’d like to know your opinion on making this story better for all of you.

Dire and cruel, in spite of my mind, my heart longs. - Chapter Two

Brianna’s PoV

Love is not real

Love is a hoax

It’s just a dream

So, this is it. One day you’re sure as hell that you turned the pages and that you’re ready to move forward. One day your heart doesn’t ache anymore and the numbness leaves you with a craving to live. One day you feel like you can start over and keep on with your life. One day you have to come back home and face all your story and you find it doesn’t hurt anymore, and you’re sure that life can’t be other than great.

Then, days like today come to bite your ass and remind you that as much as much effort as you put into growing, you find the reflection in the mirror saying that you’ve aged, but never stopped being the same child you once were. I can barely breathe, I don’t realize that until the wet tongue of Lester goes over my cheek for the fifth time. I release the puppy and he saunters to my dad yapping. I slide to the floor with my back to the front door, the cool of the wood helping me to control myself until I start sobbing.

When you forget

What you cannot forgive

The terms are so much easier to

Come to with

Being honest, it was kind of easy to snap out of that messy story with half a country between Aquaria and me. I won’t deny the first months were hell on earth, my broken heart was killing me and I found shelter in the kitchen. Most of my skills as a chef, comes from a place of pure sorrow, from those times when I was feeling lonely and missing her smile. I remember dreaming of her and waking up to a sore throat and swollen eyes, and I also remember trying to wipe her memories from my skin with the first girl I could hook up with.

And then, finally came the happiest coincidence I could ever find. Many people says that going back to your ex is never the wisest choice but, what happens when your ex became an ex because her parents managed to take her far, far away from you?

My college in San Diego sent us to compete to a gastronomic fair in LA. As usual, I was one of their safest bets to win. To be fair, most of the visitors were other gastronomy schools and students from local colleges with some time to spare. I was serving the hundredth plate of my seafood chowder, when a familiar voice called my attention. When I turned my head, there she was, taller than I remembered, all tanned and her auburn hair falling beautifully by the side of her face. She was laughing and I couldn’t help myself from smiling. My sweet, odd and kind Kameron was there, smiling even wider as she locked gazes with me.

I have been searching my soul

I’ve seen the brightest star

I’ve seen the blackest hole

I’m abruptly brought back from my memories by the warm embrace of my father, who’s glasses slid to the tip of his nose, his forehead wrinkled with worry “Brianna… baby, are you ok my love?”

I’m not sure how do I look, but what’s a fact, is that my eyes must be popped and red, as every time I cry. He lifts me effortlessly. Even though he has always been slender, he is undoubtedly a strong man. Once I’m on my feet, he throws his long arm around my shoulders and lead me to the living room, with Lester following closely, swinging his tail proudly: he has done a good job.

Dad puts me in the couch and wraps me in a soft blanket. Shane Cracker is one of a kind, always distracted with his world and his music, but never too busy to help his son with his science project, or to take care of any of his three daughters. He is also a loving husband, who actually deserves Heaven by being my mom’s life companion.

“Now lil’ cookie, you’re tellin’ yer ol’ father wha’s happ’ning?” Dad says while he sits by my side and wraps me in his arms. I don’t really know where to start. All I have right now is a need to scream and cry, to bury my face on a pillow and forget the world around me. Once again, I can’t. Dad is looking at me. He seems concerned and I shiver.

“The thing is… I may or may have not found Aquaria barefoot in the middle of the street”. He frowns. If there’s one person who saw me falling apart that evening, that’s my father, the one who ate ice cream with me every day until I found a way to smile again. “I thought it was a sick prank of my head, but she was there and she said she’s sorry”. I’m sobbing again, dad tightens his embrace and kisses my forehead.

I hear him sigh and then she releases me, in order to look me straight in the eye. “You know lil’ cookie there’s moments in life when vanilla fudge ice cream is the best medicine, and there’s times when you need a lil’ less ice cream and a lil’ more cryin’, and there’s times when what you need is to clear your head ‘fore making decisions, so now’s your call to find out wha’s this time for” He said with this heavy Brooklyn accent of his, and yes, also in one breathe. He stares at the ceiling for a moment, and I can see the tiredness of the years hanging on him, the ever joyful and talkative Shane Cracker.

And when that love comes crawling back to me to say

I’ve been away

Now please let me stay with the

No way!

Never again will I do this

Never again will I care

He leans to kiss my forehead once more and leaves for the kitchen, Lester following his track. I tighten the wrap of the blanket on my shoulders and I hear a full concert of opening and closing drawers and doors. Dad comes back holding two glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine on the other. “For the days you need to clear your head, there’s always wine to help”. He pours two glasses of wine and hands me one “to Aquaria and her mess”. I clink my glass to his, and we drink until we drown the bottle.

Later, Dad and Lester are snoring on the living room couch, the TV working as background noise. By that time I’m wearing pajamas and I put my robe to go outside. The whole neighborhood is silent now. Just a few houses down the street have any light on and I sit in the steps of the front door, sighing deeply. Playing with my lighter I wait, maybe the clarity of mind I’m looking for wasn’t in the wine I drank with dad but at least, makes me feel less overwhelmed.

Before I even realize, I’m smoking and that’s not exactly why I came to get some air. The white smoke floats away from me and I follow it with my eyes, just to find Aquaria’s window. We’ve spent a lot of time sitting on that window, first as girls, playing with a tea set and our dollies; then as pre teens, talking, wondering what was going to happen once we were older and finally as young women, making plans for the future, talking about the dreams we were chasing, making out, and spending whole nights cuddling, looking at the stars. It’s hard for me to recall what happened in the time after our break up. She was leaving the following week and I was really frustrated, because I was already missing her.

The thing I most clearly remember, is watching her leave in her high heeled boots through the airport gate, I came too late and didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye.

Nebraska was the one who saw me through the glass doors of the airport, but no one paid attention to the little girl trying to pull her older sister’s arm. I remember losing track of her blond hair on the sea of people, and I remember dad hugging me so tight, that I thought he could see how shattered I was and did a huge effort to keep me together.

I shake my head in a poor effort to blow those memories away, I know they’re a part of me, but I’m not up to relive all that pain. Lighting a second cigarette, I finally understand what kind of day is this; it’s one of those days when you need to scream, to cry, to eat ice cream until you feel sick. It’s a day to let out what’s left of your sorrow and then, get on your feet again. And for the first time in so many years, I learn that as much as I will always love Aquaria Needles, it isn’t worth to be exposed to that kind of pain again. Not in this life, not in the following.

It’s just a dream

I’ve had so many nights alone

Love is not here

Love is somewhere else

It’s somewhere far

[mulder-isms]

The storm that I believe in - (Thorcid Fanfic)

A\N: Ti’s the season to water the thorcid crops! So this part I of a Christmas special I’m working on 🎅 As usual, songs are my main inspiration and this fic was inspired by a The Cardigans song. 

As usual, send me note, a slap in the face, any sign of life 👋

*

December 2011

A long time ago in a distant birthday and sunny California little Jamin got a sketchbook for his 7 year old birthday. He liked gardens and he spent a whole afternoon, his knees digging in the dirt, trying to catch all the details of the different leaves and petals, but not the flowers as a whole, focusing in all their unique details. Flowers could look all the same to some people, but not for him.

Somehow he never stopped noticing all hidden details in people. Jamin was excellent in cutting people’s bullshit, but as his sister always pointed out, it was a curse and a blessing. He could be somehow oblivious to their emotions too.

It was Christmas again. It took him time to accept the bleakness and nostalgia of New York Christmas, and even more to Brooklyn Christmas. His very small family wasn’t there and his few good friends could kept him company on that night.

The bar was crowded as usual and the weather was damp and windy. The forecast was for an unusual storm.  Red Christmas lights were dim in the cloud of smoke hovering the booths. The thunders were lighting up the sky warning that different paths were being made or diverted.

Jamin never celebrated his birthday, that happened in the beginning of the week, so his friends wanted at least to take him out to a celebration of sorts the other day. There were some places in Brooklyn he just couldn’t go and some queens he didn’t want to see. But it was a special occasion, even if he didn’t want it, so he agreed to meet Alice and Ethan, a couple of actors he became friends with during the rehearsals of Caligula Maximus. He was very excited about the theater production, and doing something different besides drag was giving him room to breath again. To see life outside pretentious and obnoxious younger queens that were getting on his nerves.

When Jamin got to his booth he removed his black sweater revealing the gray t-shirt underneath and military green cargo pants. His hair was messy, a bit of eyeliner under the eyes and bleached blonde for the character, which was a pain in the ass to keep it that way, but necessary to break through.  Betty was always changing hair colors but Jamin always felt safer with the black locks. At least the thick arrow glasses were on so he could hide somehow from unwanted encounters.

He checked his phone as ordered a drink for the waitress. Alice’s message on the screen saying she was stuck in traffic. Jamin looked through the glass of the booth outside and it was definitely raining. They wouldn’t make it in time for sure and he was exhausted and wanted to go home. He sent Alice a message to not even bother, he was going to finish his drink and be on his way before the sky collapsed.

His eyes were wandering over the booth and faces on the bar when a familiar one walked in the wooden doors. Thorgy entered the place quickly and shook himself like a golden retriever on the doormat. It’s been ages since Jamin saw him out of drag, in his full Shane form. He was probably meeting someone in the bar since he went directly to the counter and asked for a drink.

Jamin drew back his attention to his cellphone to see if Alice replied and lowered his head even more so Shane couldn’t see him, but he kept looking up over people’s head observing him. Maybe it was the rain but Shane didn’t seem bubbly as usual. He removed his round glasses and covered his face for way too long. That too long that doesn’t mean you’re tired, but too sad to care if you’re crying in a bar.

“Fuck” he muttered annoyed with his own empathy. He knew Thorgy for quite a long time and that was legitimately the first time he saw him not laughing like a crazy person or way too quiet.

Alice finally replied and said it was okay, that she was staying in Ethan’s house because the world was going to end in a big storm that night. The thunders outside as scenery of a horror moving trying to blend with the Christmas songs playing inside. It was mortifying to see Thorgy like that indeed.

Thorgy was confident and vibrant. Shane otherwise, as Jamin gathered from the their casual meetings, was the typical nerd from the band at school hiding in baggy clothes and oatmeal beanies. He didn’t know how the hell he could help that defeated kid.

Jamin got out his booth and went on his way, having the strange sensation of deja vú, of that night a few years ago when they were also talking on a bar’s counter and ended up making out in a bathroom’s stall.

“Um, Thorgy?” he touched his shoulder lightly as Shane was playing with the straw of his drink and staring blankly into the bottom of the glass.

He side looked and opened a smile and wiped his wet face with the back of his palm, his glasses had raindrops and he was very wet. He positioned himself and pat on the stool next to him, a sigh for Jamin to sit.

“Betty? Hi! Oh my god, the sky is falling down. We’re gonna need a boat to get out of here. Girl, it’s been ages!” he replied slapping his knee a few times in the speed of light avoiding actually looking at Jamin, calling the waitress. “Make it double. Are you?”

“No, I’m leaving. I mean, I was leaving. I was supposed to meet some friends here but they got stuck”

“Me too! I was going to TnT to see Ruby but she managed to get there and the show probably has started but I’m stuck”

The waitress arrived with the shots of whiskey and Shane gulped down two shots. He seemed already drunk even before that. Jamin widened his eyes and chuckled. Shane shrugged and finally actually noticed Jamin’s face.

“Your hair! Oh my god I love it” he said running his fingers through Jamin’s hair with no ceremony and caressing his forehead absently. Jamin had forgot how Thorgy was very into physical contact but somehow never made people uncomfortable about it. A true gift. The tip of his fingers were a bit rough, probably because of the years of violin practice.

“Oh! It’s for that play, right? Bitch, people are talking about it. Acid Betty taking over the musicals.”

“Yeah, probably hoping that I bomb”

Thorgy agreed laughing. A genuine laughter this time.

“Are you okay, I noticed you from my booth. I mean, you seemed a bit upset, I don’t know….” Jamin tried awkwardly to find the words while Shane observed and appreciated his effort.

“This is one of the few moments I’m going to use this, first because I’m drunk and second because you don’t have forty minutes so I can explain you in details the whole thing. Long story short: my boyfriend broke up with me last week. Not because he cheated, which he swore he didn’t, but because he fell in love with somebody else”

Jamin grimaced and Shane raised a finger like he wanted Jamin to wait although he didn’t say a word and he gulped down a bottle of beer the waitress left while he was talking.

“And he is already dating that somebody else. Who happens to be a drag queen also. I don’t think I ever loved someone like I loved him and that’s it. So my plans for tonight is getting caught by this storm and my body will be floating on the sewer in the morning.”

Jamin pondered a bit as he watched Shane playing with his straw in silence and was watching the tv on the bar’s wall.

“Look, I’m not gonna say that he is a jerk and you deserve something better. Even though I think you do. This sucks deep balls and you’ll be drenching in this misery for some time but it will pass. It doesn’t feel like it now, but hold on to that thought”

Shane stared at Jamin and opened a sweet smile under his puffy eyes and red nose.

“You’re...nice, Betty? I’m telling everyone”

“Shut up. I’m leaving, and please avoid the sewers” he said standing up the stool when Shane’s face froze in complete panic. Jamin looked behind and he saw a couple of two guys next to the bathroom standing up and he connected the dots quickly. “Are you fucking kidding me”

Shane couldn’t even answer.

“Please, stay, I can’t do this by myself. I look like a wet Afgan Hound” Shane pleaded squeezing his leg, his eyes already glistening.

The couple was approaching them, but only the tall brunette with a thick beard come forward.

“Shane… Hi, I didn’t, I- how are you?” he stuttered.

“I’m fine. Um, Jamin, I think we can go home? I’m going to the cashier can you”  

Jamin didn’t know how to react but he just followed Shane’s lead and they both paid their drinks. As Shane held Jamin’s hand he noticed how sweaty and cold they were. Shane was silent the whole time, probably trying to contain the turmoil of emotions inside.

They went outside the bar and the rain was still strong, making the city look like a melted painting. Luckily there was a taxi outside, the first thing to go right in that weird night. They both got in in the back seat. The taxi driver greeted them and Jamin looked at Shane hoping for directions but he seemed so troubled he decided to take control.

“I can stay in your place until the rain is lighter. Greenpoint, right?”

Shane just nodded relieved and covered his face not being able to control his tears anymore. Jamin hesitated to place a hand on his back but did it, rubbing as he listened to his friend sobbing.

*

The whole way to Shane’s apartment was quiet and somber. He was a bit drunk and Jamin helped him to get the key in the lock and when he turned on the light Jamin analysed the place. Different objects and decorations all together, a cello on the corner.

Shane was taking off his shoes on the way and removing his drenched sweater throwing absently on the couch and reaching for a bottle of wine on the fridge.

He turned on the stereo in the living room, handed a glass to Jamin with drops of wine falling on the carpet but  didn’t mind and collapsed on the couch holding the bottle. Jamin recognized Billy Holiday singing. He was a bit hesitant of sitting on the armchair across the couch but he peered outside the window, the rain was still heavy with no signs of fading away.

“It’s ridiculous, right?” Shane uttered his first words after that half hour of silence.

“This night has been extra” he replied gulping down his glass and deciding to sit while Shane drank from the bottle. “You should get some sleep. Change into dry clothes. Girl, you drank the whole bar”

“You’re right” he uttered trying to sit down but he stopped midway as of he suddenly had an epiphany “Do you think we’ll ever get married?”

The question made Jamin’s stomach swirl and a thunder rattled loud outside.

“What?” Jamin asked laughing of his nonsense. “Oh, you mean, the right to get married.”

“Um, so you were that serious with him...”

Shane nodded completely zoned out still motionless staring at the coffee table in front of him.

“It’s raining like a tropical forest in the middle of December. Everything is possible”

“I really thought he could...you know what I mean?I don’t think anyone would ever endure me...there is always this point where they’re like, shit, what am I doing with this crazy person”, he waved pointless his hand. “But he really seemed to understand me. To see me. Not the whole, but the different parts and not getting tired of them. Well…”

Jamin observed him for a bit while the man finally got back on his feet. The words still echoing in his head.

“I-I’m going to bed and watch whatever is on TV. I have clothes” he laughed at how stupid his sentence sounded. “I have DRY clothes, the heater doesn’t work here we can sleep together”

Jamin’s reaction was immediately shaking his head. He was devastated and drunk and he didn’t want that night to get even weirder.

“Sha-

Shane interrupted him raising his bottle as a defense document in a court, “I know I sound like I wanna fuck you but I can’t even find the zipper of my pants now let alone suck a dick”

Jamin thanked the living room was kinda dark because he really felt his cheeks burning.

“I mean, I know you don’t wanna have sex with me, I’m ridiculous and I don’t even know if you’re a bottom and-”

Jamin got up quickly pushed him to walk towards the room before the whole thing got even more awkward.

“Ooookay! Just go first and I’ll be there in a minute”

*

Jamin checked his cellphone for a few minutes and he was starving. He took the liberty to look for something in the fridge. Jamin knew Thorgy had a roommate and he wondered where was him. He grabbed a bottle of juice and drank a glass, a neutral food that probably nobody would mind him drinking a glass.

He remembered Shane’s last words and laughed shaking his head. His plan was to stay and offer help if he feels sick and leave right after since it was getting late and he needed to be on rehearsal early in the morning. He checked the fridge again and there was ice cream. Jackpot.

Nothing better than sugar to heal broken hearts and possible monumental hangovers. When he got into Shane’s room he was all spread on his bed, laying on his back watching what it seemed to be...The Mighty Ducks?

“I love December tv” he announced with the ice cream on hands. Shane looked up and smiled positioning himself to sit crossing his legs.

Jamin noticed he was wearing worn out pajamas shorts and a tank top. Shane was skinny, but had broad shoulders. They were covered by freckles and  unusual tattoos, a circle on his shoulder, crooked circles on his collarbones and chest, bubbles under his arm and a woman’s name on the inside part of his arm. His legs were very hairy and paler than the rest of his body. He was an unworldly creature.

“I’ve never noticed you’ve had so many tattoos” Jamin commented handing him the pot and retrieving a spoon for himself. Shane dug even fast and was lickling his finger that was covered with the white cream in a such a sinful way that made Jamin quite unsettled. Oh god.

“They are all bulllshit but these ones”

He raised both of of arms showing the inside part of the night one.

“Mom and Brahms. She gave me my arms and he gave them purpose” and then he made a mimic of playing a violin with using his spoon as a bow giggling.

He felt a connection with him, they were completely different people and still had this shared pain of losing a mother but finding themselves through art and music. The first time actually seeing Shane undressed of all the things that he wore as a disguise and now he could understand Thorgy’s exaggerated acts. Shane kept digging the ice cream, his rhythm was slowing down and his eyelids getting heavier.  

“Are you not changing? You’re getting a cold…” he noticed being quite wise for a drunk but his eyes never left the TV.

“I’m taking off these pants. My shirt is still dry”. He removed the pants and luckily he was wearing shorts underneath. Even though they had cartoon french fries patterns all over it. He noticed Shane checking him out even though he was very languid.

“Cute” Shane teased smirking innocently and Jamin picked a pillow and covered the front of his briefs.

*

They ate the whole ice cream pot while commenting the movie. As time was passing, they were getting closer, leaning on the bed’s headboard, the pot in the middle of them. It was the first time of Shane watching the hockey movie and he was very excited about it, dozing out in some parts, but never stopped talking and questioning the plot holes of the movie. Jamin knew that the rain was finally taking a break, but he was too comfortable to leave.

“Emilio Estevez was so hot I’m watching all of his movies this week”

The  movie ended Shane was laid down again, his head almost resting on Jamin’s thigh, his cheek touching the fabric of Jamin’s shorts.

“I could totally be a hockey player...but I’ve always been too tall and clumsy to skate” he mumbled and yawned as the credits were going up.

Jamin was feeling very sleepy too so he slid on the bed and laid beside Shane while “We are the champions” was playing in the black background of the TV. Shane was lying on the side, his breath on Jamin’s neck and he could feel his eyes on him.

“Go to sleep, Shane”

“What’s your favorite Queen song?”

Jamin deep sighed and gave up turning to lay on the side too, facing Shane. Their faces were very close, their knees almost brushing, he could even smell of the wine mixed with vanilla ice cream of Shane’s breath. His glasses all crooked with the position, because he was using his hands as a pillow.

“Killer Queen” he replied fixing Shane’s glasses and brushing some dreads back that were tangling his neck.  “I take yours is probably Bohemian-

They both answered together “Rhapsody”

They kept staring at each other, Shane’s eyes completed clouded. Jamin didn’t even know how he was still up with the amount of alcohol he drank.

“You really look hot with this bleached hair” Shane cut the sexual tension creating even more.

Jamin scoffed but when he realized Shane was already pulling him for a kiss. Oh fuck. Here we go again. Wine and Vanilla ice was an excellent combination and Shane’s lips were swollen and soft, his leg was already over Jamin’s hip pulling him closer. He really, really tried to not kiss him back but Shane had an incredible grip for a drunk, grinding on him desperately and Jamin trying to pull away.

“Shane, Shane...you’re drunk...” he whispered gathering every ounce of willpower on his body to not getting turned on, but with Shane’s cock rubbing on his stomach, covered only by that the thin fabric of his worn out shorts... it was too much to handle. Shane was now sucking on his neck making Jamin brush his lips on Shane’s neck unwillingly.  He was hot and smelled like the rain outside.

Jamin stared at the ceiling hoping that a lighting hit them both because he wasn’t going to be able to stop.

“Please...don’t you want me? Please...” he pleaded moaning and  reaching for Jamin’s cock which made him positively in panic. Jamin was faster and grabbed both of Shane’s wrists and pulling away. Oh he wanted him, and it was pretty obvious since he was getting rock hard.

“Shane, this is a mistake and I’m not taking advantage of -

His eyes were closing and his limbs getting softer. Jamin released his grip and in seconds Shane was passed out and snoring, his leg still over Jamin’s hip.

“Great” he grunted annoyed.

He slowly set free from his embrace and stood up fixing his hair, all hot and bothered.He looked down at his own erection on the shorts and shook his head thinking about how that night escalated to absolute chaos.

Jamin took a quick shower, and even though jerking of naturally crossed his mind he just felt too weird about it. He got the couch to sleep with no Shane interventions. He slept with the jazzy sound of Billy Holiday. A really good night of sleep.

*

He woke up with the smell of scrambled eggs and a brunette man, with black long hair staring at him. He was sitting on the armchair in front of him, the image finally getting focused but he needed his glasses so he fumbled on the coffee table until he found them.

“Morning. I’m Alvaro. Shane’s roommate” Alvaro waved at him with a starstruck face holding a bowl of cereal. “You’re Acid Betty, right? Big fan here. Your drag is amazing. I mean, really drag, not the clown stuff Shane does…”

Jamin sat on the couch shyly and just nodded sitting properly and getting relieved that he put his pants on before sleeping. Shane approached them handing Jamin a plate with scrambled eggs and two toasts and an orange juice. He picked a chair from the kitchen and sat next to Jamin on the couch embracing his long legs.

“Girl, that’s the least I can do, I feel so embarrassed” he said placing a hand on his palm.

Jamin wondered if Shane was embarrassed about making a move on him or the night as a whole, but he seemed oblivious.

“Shane told me what happened. Ouch. I never liked that guy anyways, he has terrible taste for men. He is a very annoying drunk. It takes him ages to finally shut up and sleep so bless you”

Shane nodded in agreement feeling worried. He actually looked better that yesterday. He wasn’t wearing his round glasses and Jamin could see his face with nothing on the way for the first time. All his individual details lit by the morning sun. That nerdy kid from the band was actually a very handsome man. Alvaro and Shane noticed that he got a little bit distracted gazing at Shane.

“Um” Jamin realized what he was doing and  cleared his throat and reaching for his shoes, “Aren’t you not even a bit hungover?”

“No. Norwegian blood. But I can’t remember shit after the taxi...just that we watched The Mighty Ducks and ice cream?” Shane questioned rubbing his forehead trying to remember. He didn’t seem faking it.

“Yeah, that was it” Jamin reassured him maybe afraid of sounding too disappointed. Alvaro kept switching his gaze between Shane and him very suspiciously like he was watching a very interesting soap opera.  “I have to leave.” he wolfed down the eggs and took the toasts wrapped in a napkin to go. “Bye Alvaro. I don’t have any Betty gigs for the moment, but I’m on Caligula Maximus, the opening is next week”

“I’ll definitely watch it” he replied with a smirk still holding his bowl.

Shane followed Jamin to the leave and he was holding the door searching for Jamin’s eyes.

“Look Betty, I mean, Jamin, I think our friendship reached another level after yesterday, right?” he smiled exasperated. “Really, thank you for being my...boat yesterday”

He smiled and shook his head. He had to keep the memory of vanilla and wine only for himself.

“You’re a cuckoo bird. Take care, Thorgles…”

Shane closed the door and touched his own lips, as if they had traces of something he couldn’t recall. He joined Alvaro in the living room and ate the rest of the scrambled eggs Jamin left.

“So?” Alvaro asked, “How was it? Fucking Acid Betty?”

Shane coughed the eggs a little bit and drank the juice to help him swallow.

“What? We didn’t do anything. Didn’t you hear the story? I was pathetically drunk and still am heartbroken”

“Exactly. You had that man in your bed and you didn’t do anything?”

“That’s Acid Betty, she is my friend and you’re crazy”

“That is a man. Honestly, you didn’t learn nothing from me.”

They kept eating in silence. Shane tried really hard to recall what happened but everything was a blur. But he was pretty sure he just fell asleep while they were watching a movie.

“Not even a friendly handjob to distract from the heartache?”

“STOP” Shane was chewing mortified putting the plate down.

“ At least you’ve made out once in that New Year’s eve”

“Yeah, and it was so good he got back to his boyfriend the other day”

“You do have a point” Alvaro finally agreed, drawing his attention to the bowl of cereal.  “He is single now though”

“Oh my gooooood” Shane grunted annoyed leaving his friend laughing alone victorious.

The memories of that New Year’s eve would haunt Shane from time to time, and maybe he was getting too good in suppress what he could possibly felt after that day. He started washing the dishes and recalling the look on his ex-face in the bar, the wound still fresh. Somehow he felt healed, because he did remember Jamin’s old lady cackle and the feeling of being comfortable with someone that could see him. The memories not clear, but his body reacting, the sensations still sparkling inside.

[restlessghoste]

in + out

Prompt:  Story idea: Amy and Karma are in denial of being in love and they are sleeping together. Despite their friends opinions they decide to use a “punch card” to have sex to prove they can have sex without feelings. After they use all the punches they have to stop but they realize their true feelings. 

Chapter 2

As usual, I wake up before Karma. My first sight is her, on her side not facing me. For a while, I watch her, trying to remember how we got here. I roll onto my back and stare up at my ceiling. My mind wanders back to that night.

That night, September 5th

Why Karma wanted to drag me to this stupid party is beyond me. Liam, Lauren, and Shane were going too, but that hardly makes a difference. Whenever the five of us go to parties together, we all usually end up doing our own things and splitting off with different goals in mind. Liam and Shane’s goals are usually to hook up. Lauren usually looks for more ways to make herself more popular by socializing. Karma and I usually just stick together. If we start to get bored, we leave. But once in awhile, we’ll find different people to hook up with. On a good night, we both find someone to hook up with. The last time we went to a party like this, Karma found a good looking guy named Aiden. He never called her back. Somehow, I was able to find a nice girl as well, but didn’t follow through. The girl was so drunk, she could barely walk so I called her a cab instead. Her name was… Julie or Jules or something? My thoughts are interrupted by Karma lightly touching my shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” And she leaves my side. Usually, that’s code for ‘I’ve got my eye on someone, I’m going in for the kill.’ Most likely, she will not ‘be right back.’ A half an hour goes by and I start to assume my theory is right. I make my way to the kitchen where Liam is inhabiting. He’s surrounded by three girls who are giggling uncontrollably at something he said. When I enter, he points at me. “Hey, let me make you a drink.” Shrugging, I take a seat on the stool across from where he’s standing. “You like old fashioned?” He asks as he gets a glass out of the cabinet. “Definitely.” I say, watching him as he takes out a bottle of whiskey. When he’s done, he pushes the glass toward me, to which I gladly lift to my lips. At the taste, I grimace. “Damn, that’s strong.” “That is a Manhattan.” Liam smiles as he leans forward on the kitchen island. “I know you have a high tolerance, but I doubt it can keep up with that beauty.” He nods toward the glass in my hand.

“Great.” I chuckle, already feeling a little dizzy. “I’ll catch up with you later.” “Ok. If you need anything, I’ll be here.” Liam says, “Let me know if you need a ride. I saw Karma with a dude.” “Course you did.” I mutter as I take another sip while walking away. It was only a matter of time before I had to use the bathroom, so I went upstairs in search of one. I went to the first door to the right and stumbled into a bedroom. Two people were making out on the bed. They jumped apart at the sound of my entrance. “Oh my god, sorry I-” Then I realize it’s Karma and the random guy she probably was planning on hooking up with. They’re both roughed up and messy from the make out session. The guy is staring at me as if annoyed by my disruption. Karma, on the other hand, refused to meet my eyes. “-was looking for a bathroom.” I finish, clearing my throat awkwardly.

“There’s a bathroom right over there you can use.” Karma says, still not able to look at me. And sure enough, there’s a bathroom connected to this room, which must be the master bedroom. “Thanks.” I say. Awkwardly, I move past the guy to go to the bathroom.

When I come out, Karma’s alone on the bed. The guy is nowhere to be seen and she’s laying on her back, staring at the ceiling. She turns her head to me and smiles slightly. “Where’d your hookup go?” I ask, placing myself on the edge of the bed next to her. “Probably still sulking that you killed his boner.” The redhead replies casually. On the other hand, my eyes widen. “Sorry, Karms. I didn’t mean to-” “Don’t bother.” Karma says, turning onto her side to face me, “I told him if his penis is that easy to turn off, I don’t want it.” I can’t help but laugh at that. “Wow. So not ‘the one’, huh?” Karma scoffs and sits up. “I hope I never find ‘the one’ at a party.” “Me neither.” I chuckle. Then I turn my head to look at Karma and I realize how close we are in proximity.

What happens next is inevitable. Her lips meet mine and it’s like second nature. It’s magnetic and automatic. It’s as if right when we kissed, the entire world exhaled and said the word ‘finally,’ which was also the word running through my head over and over again.

I pushed her away gently when the sober part of me asks ‘what the fuck are you doing, Amy?’

“We’re drunk.” I state. Though, on my part, I’m not that drunk. Karma shakes her head as she catches her breath. “It’s ok,” She pants, “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” She snakes her arms around my neck and kisses me once more. And once more, I’m drawn in. That night was definitely not our first time, but somehow, it felt like it was.

But the next morning, we didn’t hold hands. We didn’t cuddle and revel in our newfound love. When we woke up, we rushed to get changed. We said bye to each other and went separate ways. Since then, we’ve had regular hook ups and remained best friends. The problem was our group of friends knew. They know. Lately, they’ve been giving us a really hard time about it. They don’t get how we’re able to pass this off as no strings attached. Karma and I have been hooking up with other people with no strings attached for months. Since we’ve been hooking up with each other, we haven’t been with other people. With each other, it’s easier. We get the memo without saying it. Get in, get out. That’s it. No attachments. Nothing. The sound of Karma stirring brings me back to the present. Turning to face her, I watch as she stretches and turns to face me. She gives me a small smile that gives me butterflies. “Hey.” She says.

“Hey.” I reply. We don’t usually stay in the morning. One of us usually gets up. But it feels good to have this moment, even if it has to be broken soon. Karma surprises me once more and closes the space between us to place her lips against my bare shoulder. It’s barely a touch, but it stirs so many feelings. Feelings I’m not supposed to have. Then as quickly as it happened, Karma pulls away and sits up. “I should get going.” “Yeah.” I say, getting up as well to go to the bathroom. When I come out, I’m surprised Karma is still in my room. Fully dressed, but still present. I raise an eyebrow. “Hey, stranger.” Karma smiles at the greeting. “Can I use your bathroom? Sorry, I just really need to brush my teeth. Do you still keep my spare underneath the sink?” “Yup.” I tell her as I plop on my bed and grab my phone. I hear the faucet running when I open the first text I missed from Liam.

Hey, where the fuck are you and Karm? We thought you two were going to come to winter formal last night??? Call me.

Can’t blame him for being worried. He’s being a good friend. But a part of me is pretty sure he knows very well where we were and is fully aware what we were doing. He’s just asking for confirmation. I text him back, hey im not going to call, karms is in my bathroom. Just gonna say we found better things to do.

Right when I hit send, my bathroom door opens and Karma exits. “Thanks, aims. See you at school later?” “See you.” I reply, shooting her a smile as she leaves my room. Not even a second after she leaves, my phone vibrates. Liam replied, i see… see u in a few hours?

I type yea and hit send before getting up to get ready for school.

-

As I walk to school, the piece of paper in my pocket feels heavy. Six. We can only hook up six more times before we shut it down. In my mind, I wonder when these six times will occur and where. I don’t know where Karma stands, but I definitely don’t want to waste those six times. It’s definitely going to be hard to limit ourselves since we’re used to seeing each other almost every night. This is going to be interesting.

[fakingitfanfiction]

in + out

Prompt:  Story idea: Amy and Karma are in denial of being in love and they are sleeping together. Despite their friends opinions they decide to use a “punch card” to have sex to prove they can have sex without feelings. After they use all the punches they have to stop but they realize their true feelings. 

Previous Chapter

Chapter 2

  As usual, I wake up before Karma. My first sight is her, on her side not facing me. For a while, I watch her, trying to remember how we got here. I roll onto my back and stare up at my ceiling. My mind wanders back to that night.

That night, September 5th

Why Karma wanted to drag me to this stupid party is beyond me. Liam, Lauren, and Shane were going too, but that hardly makes a difference. Whenever the five of us go to parties together, we all usually end up doing our own things and splitting off with different goals in mind. Liam and Shane’s goals are usually to hook up. Lauren usually looks for more ways to make herself more popular by socializing. Karma and I usually just stick together. If we start to get bored, we leave. But once in awhile, we’ll find different people to hook up with. On a good night, we both find someone to hook up with. 

The last time we went to a party like this, Karma found a good looking guy named Aiden. He never called her back. Somehow, I was able to find a nice girl as well, but didn’t follow through. The girl was so drunk, she could barely walk so I called her a cab instead. Her name was… Julie or Jules or something? My thoughts are interrupted by Karma lightly touching my shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” And she leaves my side. Usually, that’s code for ‘I’ve got my eye on someone, I’m going in for the kill.’ Most likely, she will not ‘be right back.’ A half an hour goes by and I start to assume my theory is right. I make my way to the kitchen where Liam is inhabiting. He’s surrounded by three girls who are giggling uncontrollably at something he said. When I enter, he points at me. “Hey, let me make you a drink.” Shrugging, I take a seat on the stool across from where he’s standing. “You like old fashioned?” He asks as he gets a glass out of the cabinet. “Definitely.” I say, watching him as he takes out a bottle of whiskey. When he’s done, he pushes the glass toward me, to which I gladly lift to my lips. At the taste, I grimace. “Damn, that’s strong.” “That is a Manhattan.” Liam smiles as he leans forward on the kitchen island. “I know you have a high tolerance, but I doubt it can keep up with that beauty.” He nods toward the glass in my hand.

“Great.” I chuckle, already feeling a little dizzy. “I’ll catch up with you later.” “Ok. If you need anything, I’ll be here.” Liam says, “Let me know if you need a ride. I saw Karma with a dude.” “Course you did.” I mutter as I take another sip while walking away. It was only a matter of time before I had to use the bathroom, so I went upstairs in search of one. I went to the first door to the right and stumbled into a bedroom. Two people were making out on the bed. They jumped apart at the sound of my entrance. “Oh my god, sorry I-” Then I realize it’s Karma and the random guy she probably was planning on hooking up with. They’re both roughed up and messy from the make out session. The guy is staring at me as if annoyed by my disruption. Karma, on the other hand, refused to meet my eyes. “-was looking for a bathroom.” I finish, clearing my throat awkwardly.

“There’s a bathroom right over there you can use.” Karma says, still not able to look at me. And sure enough, there’s a bathroom connected to this room, which must be the master bedroom. “Thanks.” I say. Awkwardly, I move past the guy to go to the bathroom.

When I come out, Karma’s alone on the bed. The guy is nowhere to be seen and she’s laying on her back, staring at the ceiling. 

She turns her head to me and smiles slightly. “Where’d your hookup go?” I ask, placing myself on the edge of the bed next to her. “Probably still sulking that you killed his boner.” The redhead replies casually. On the other hand, my eyes widen. “Sorry, Karms. I didn’t mean to-” “Don’t bother.” Karma says, turning onto her side to face me, “I told him if his penis is that easy to turn off, I don’t want it.” I can’t help but laugh at that. “Wow. So not ‘the one’, huh?” Karma scoffs and sits up. “I hope I never find ‘the one’ at a party.” “Me neither.” I chuckle. Then I turn my head to look at Karma and I realize how close we are in proximity.

What happens next is inevitable. Her lips meet mine and it’s like second nature. It’s magnetic and automatic. It’s as if right when we kissed, the entire world exhaled and said the word ‘finally,’ which was also the word running through my head over and over again.

I push her away gently when the sober part of me asks ‘what the fuck are you doing, Amy?’

“We’re drunk.” I state. Though, on my part, I’m not that drunk. Karma shakes her head as she catches her breath. “It’s ok,” She pants, “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” She snakes her arms around my neck and kisses me once more. And once more, I’m drawn in. That night was definitely not our first time, but somehow, it felt like it was.

But the next morning, we didn’t hold hands. We didn’t cuddle and revel in our newfound love. When we woke up, we rushed to get changed. We said bye to each other and went separate ways. Since then, we’ve had regular hook ups and remained best friends. The problem was our group of friends knew. They know. Lately, they’ve been giving us a really hard time about it. They don’t get how we’re able to pass this off as no strings attached. Karma and I have been hooking up with other people with no strings attached for months. Since we’ve been hooking up with each other, we haven’t been with other people. With each other, it’s easier. We get the memo without saying it. Get in, get out. That’s it. No attachments. Nothing. The sound of Karma stirring brings me back to the present. Turning to face her, I watch as she stretches and turns to face me. She gives me a small smile that gives me butterflies. “Hey.” She says.

  “Hey.” I reply. We don’t usually stay in the morning. One of us usually gets up. But it feels good to have this moment, even if it has to be broken soon. Karma surprises me once more and closes the space between us to place her lips against my bare shoulder. It’s barely a touch, but it stirs so many feelings. Feelings I’m not supposed to have. Then as quickly as it happened, Karma pulls away and sits up. “I should get going.” “Yeah.” I say, getting up as well to go to the bathroom. When I come out, I’m surprised Karma is still in my room. Fully dressed, but still present. I raise an eyebrow. “Hey, stranger.” Karma smiles at the greeting. “Can I use your bathroom? Sorry, I just really need to brush my teeth. Do you still keep my spare underneath the sink?” “Yup.” I tell her as I plop on my bed and grab my phone. I hear the faucet running when I open the first text I missed from Liam.

  Hey, where the fuck are you and Karm? We thought you two were going to come to winter formal last night??? Call me.

Can’t blame him for being worried. He’s being a good friend. But a part of me is pretty sure he knows very well where we were and is fully aware what we were doing. He’s just asking for confirmation. I text him back, hey im not going to call, karms is in my bathroom. Just gonna say we found better things to do.

  Right when I hit send, my bathroom door opens and Karma exits. “Thanks, aims. See you at school later?” “See you.” I reply, shooting her a smile as she leaves my room. Not even a second after she leaves, my phone vibrates. Liam replied, i see… see u in a few hours?

  I type yea and hit send before getting up to get ready for school.

-

As I walk to school, the piece of paper in my pocket feels heavy. Six. We can only hook up six more times before we shut it down. In my mind, I wonder when these six times will occur and where. I don’t know where Karma stands, but I definitely don’t want to waste those six times. It’s definitely going to be hard to limit ourselves since we’re used to seeing each other almost every night. This is going to be interesting.

[failuretofrag]

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? I think it's about even. 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yessss 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Anything that's flat. Once I used a condom rapper. 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee with lots of cream, tea with sugar. 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Slightly. 6: do you keep plants? Not anymore. 7: do you name your plants? I had a Japanese peace lily named Lily once. 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Poetry. 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yess 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? So you're telling me.. a chicken fried this rice? 12: what's your favorite planet? Jupiter. 13: what's something that made you smile today? Jessi. 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Oh man, I have no idea. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! All of space is completely silent. 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Probably Tomato Basil Penne 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Auburn 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. They call me Ralph a lot because I got super drunk one night and couldn't stop puking. 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I have a sketch book that I doodle in. 20: what's your favorite eye color? Blue. 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I have so many bags, but my favourite one is a little cross shoulder bag that is my EDC. 22: are you a morning person? Not particularly, but I can wake up fairly fast. 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Sleep. 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Two people, actually. Jessi and Gemini. 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? Uh, I broke into an old shed that was filled with hundreds of keys. 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Under armor gym shoes? Lmao. 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Bubblegum. 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset. 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Kim refers to my gf and I as Gag a lot, talking us up and such. 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Okay so I use to love having colorful mismatched socks, then my OCD took over, so now I have 30 pairs of the same ankle black socks. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Coming down from ecstasy highs like 8 of us went to Denny's and just stayed there eating and joking for like 3 hours. 33: what's your fave pastry? Cheese Danish 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had the Pegasus from Hercules. He was my favourite, but I lost him a few years back. 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I actually have a weird obsession with calligraphy and fountain pens. 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Halsey 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I LIKE keeping it clean, but it's usually messy. 38: tell us about your pet peeves! Oh jeez.. loud noises, having to repeat myself, being ignored 39: what color do you wear the most? Black (but that's not a color) so blue 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? My class ring! Hell yeah. It's my class ring lmao 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? Right Behind You by Gail Giles 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! It's a Starbucks, but a really small one that lacks the usual pretentious feel of a Starbucks. 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Molly 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? A couple nights ago. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? All the time. 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and goes "Dam" 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Pineapple on pizza. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Nah, as a kid I thought that I'd get kidnapped, and now I know that that'd be a bad move on a kidnappers part. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Not really, I don't buy music much, and when I do it's to support the artist, but the last one I bought was The Human Condition by Jon Bellion 50: what's an odd thing you collect? Rocks 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Jessi- Guillotine by Jon Bellion 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Cash me Ousside how bow dah 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I liked beetlejuice, and I loved pulp fiction. 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My friend Higgs 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? That's hard to pinpoint. I've done a lot of dramati- I blew up my friends garbage can to prove I could make explosives out of things in his kitchen. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Laughs, half smiles, hesitation, voice cracks, eye contact 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Lmao, I usually sing along, but I don't think I catch as much of the nostalgia as most. 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Oh my god, so the wine mom is Aze and the vodka aunt is Crusher and I can't explain this very well but trust me. 59: what's your favorite myth? That people only use a small percent of their brain. 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Neil Hilborn- OCD Shane Koyczan- To This Day Rudy Francisco- Scars 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? I gave my ex a coupon for a free kiss, and I received makeup from my uncle. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope, coffee is the only thing I can stand. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I like them organized. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Blue 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yeah 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Lots of blue and green with white highlights 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Amazing. I love gloomy days. 68: what's winter like where you live? Shit. Hot. Not fair. 69: what are your favorite board games? Sorry, Clue, Battleship, Connect four 70: have you ever used a ouija board? No, fuck that shit. 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? Snapple Peach tea 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? Yeah, I have a horrible memory 73: what are some of your worst habits? Nail biting, lip biting, cutting 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Tall, dark, hilarious and a force to be reckoned with. 75: tell us about your pets! Baby is my pet. She a cat. She go meow. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Nope 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink. 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? A little of both. 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? This one time I was really sick, and Dani brought me soup and made me eat then helped me get up and shower and stuff. 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Off white. No. I want to redo it with some blood spatter 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Oh jeez. No. 82: are/were you good in school? I was bad with good grades. 83: what's some of your favorite album art? This is hard.. I Prevail- Lifelines album. 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Already have some, but my next one is going to be a scorpion on my arm with water around it. 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I use to! I think the series of ones containing the early stages of the relationship between harleyquinn and Ivy are my favourite. 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? They are okay I guess, but I don't really have any.. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Fight club American History X The Lorax 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not particularly 89: are you close to your parents? Not at all. 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Austin! I love the people and the environment, it's so relaxing and surprising. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I'm not sure yet. 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I fucking love cheese. 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Bed head 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Schultzy 95: what are your plans for this weekend? I'm not sure yet, might be working. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastinate. 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? The Commander ENTJ-A I think, Scorpio, Slytherin. 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? About 4 months ago, and yes I loved it 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. AWOLNATION- Sail Jon Bellion- Guillotine Kiiara- Feels 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither. Going back is a waste, and going forward is so unknown.

[mulder-isms]

The playlist - thorcid fanfic

A\N: This fic addresses Thorgy leaving for AS3 and how this will affect his relationship with Acid. Also shalaska is briefly mentioned, since one of my main inspirations for this was this pic

Also this is a fic comes with a playlist ( clever, huh?) and I strongly recommend you guys to listen after reading the it 👌

Feedback is always welcome and slaps in the face too!

*

Shane witnessed many sunsets, but he was more drawn to sunrises. They meant you get a new chance again, to start from scratch.

His absolute favorite was the view from his grandfather’s porch in Norway, back then when he was too young to get struck by the beauty of the most common phenomenon in nature. As adults, we are always looking up to sky, to catch a breath when everything is too overwhelming or simply to find an answer in heaven for the fresh new hell of the day.

In 2011, his dearest was from the top of his apartment. The rooftop became his favorite hideaway to smoke weed, to enjoy the few moments of silence in the city and to throw parties after Saliva nights. Sharon Needles was the guest queen tonight and the whole Haus of Haunt was there mingling with the Brooklyn folks.

The day was rising and everyone seemed exactly what they were, the true colors of the creatures of the night, pale faces with smudged make up and outfit remains, being exposed to the light coming from the East. It was a gentle exposure, the yellow mixing with soft strokes of pink and blue shades. The night before was hot and Shane was wearing the minimum. A black tank top and shorts, barefoot. He was sitting on the floor, resting his back on the low wall of the edge. Everything was still a bit blurry, he wasn't wasted, but in that languid state that comes after a long night of drinking.

We found love was playing for the hundred time. He was observing a photographer friend taking pictures of Sharon, while fumbling the first cigarette of the day. There was nothing left, he realized observing the astray full of ashes on the floor and the empty package. Sharon was walking towards his direction and sat on the floor. Aaron wasn’t much different from Sharon. He was still pale, cartoonish thin, and looked like he didn’t belong to that period of time or any time ever.

“You’re out too?” he asked making a gesture of holding a cigarette and Shane nodded.

Aaron sat by his side staring at the sunset, splashed with the new colors.

“You have quite a view here” Aaron added resting his chin on his forearm. Then he made a Nosferatu impersonation. “Look, Thorgy, thanks for letting me and Lasky crashing here these couple of days. I have to make this trip to L.A, for the prosthetic course and I could surely save the hotel money and-

Aaron noticed Shane’s face full of disbelief.

“If the rumors are true money won’t be a problem for you for a long time” Shane scoffed. Rumor has it Sharon was in the cast for Rupaul’s Drag Race. The show was becoming a hit in the LBGT community and getting bigger. Thorgy auditioned one more time, and by his own math, he was sure he didn't make it.

“Look, do you really think they would cast a freak like me? I spill blood on my performances and my boyfriend lets people piss on him on stage…”

Shane chuckled and observed Alaska talking to some queens in the back. She was still in full drag, black panties and a bra and an even more exaggerated Divine make-up.

Maybe the world wasn’t ready for them yet.

“How do you do that? Two queens in love must be a messy mess. But you guys are so passionate…from what I unfortunately heard…thin walls” he tilted his head in a suggestive way.

“Love is a mess. We’re people. Dressed as clowns and craving for more attention than usual, but just people” Aaron shrugged and draw his attention to the horizon again.

Shane took few seconds to sink the casually profound meaning of his words. He was there, bare. He was a person. Sometimes it was hard for him to peel all the layers, to let people see him. Since he was a child he tried to divert everyone else to see him. His instruments were shields that make beautiful sounds and drag covered him completely.

“Look at these beauties contemplating the birth of time!”

His photographer friend was pointing the camera at them and Shane started to protest covering his face.

Sharon tapped on his thigh excited, “Girl, let’s pretend we have discovered the meaning of all this bullshit. To our future stardom right there on that goddamn stinky corner”

Shane giggled and agreed. They positioned themselves as the camera lens captured the moment, the pink lighting illuminating their wishful thinking. In Brooklyn there was still a lot of green, the tall gray buildings cutting the view from behind. The Tribute in Light set where the Twin Towers once stood was translucent and yet radiant, a constant memento that we’re more than what meets the eye. In the light of morning it was completely turned off, not a single trace of what was there.

“The Twin Towers now can only be seen at night…” he spoke loud almost in a whisper. But Aaron heard and agreed.

“Just like us”

*

Jamin knew something strange was happening the minute Shane went quiet. It was never a good sign. That man was transparent. All his emotions were obvious, a sort of childish trade that Shane never grow out of it. Jamin knows when he cooks something terrible because every time Shane immediately makes a face or bluntly spit it. He knows when Shane is close to come because, because grins with eyes shut, and bites his lower lip to not moan louder. All his emotions tracked down.

He was cast to All Stars 3.

He confessed during dinner. They were having a pasta Beckie made and Jamin brought the leftovers. Jamin couldn’t be more happy, but Shane stood there motionless, as if waiting permission to be excited about it.

“You know, somehow I was waiting for you to answer me too, bitch and that we would be together again stuck in that fake brick prison again. I wonder if people know about us. It would make good television!” then he pretended to announce it like it was the news on TV, “Brooklyn sweetheart saves Bitter Betty from terminal loneliness”

Jamin rolled eyes shaking his head. Shane grabbed Jamin’s forearm excited midway while he was moving the fork into his mouth.

“We could make out on that huge table, ugh, I can’t believe you’re not going with me.”

“Shane, we’ve had this conversation before. I knew it wasn’t going to happen” he scoffed forking his noodles again and hoping not to be interrupted. Shane still was grabbing his arm, but the pressure was getting softer.

“Imagine that, I would be like “Betty is terrible. We’re getting married after the show”. Edit that motherfuckers!”

Jamin laughed against his will, and felt his stomach swirl but kept looking at his food. The whole weight of Shane’s stare on him.

“You’re going to organize that closet. And gather new outfits.” he trailed it off.

“I’m still sinking in that this is really happening, I’m trying to keep the freak out levels at the minimum.  Kirk is coming this week to help me because I don’t even know where to start and I’m travelling next week for that wedding and…I miss you already. What the fuck I’m doing? I can’t do this again. I’m gonna bomb this so hard”

“Hey hey…”

Jamin was the one now reaching for Shane’s hand over the table.

“Stop it. I’m here, and I’ll be when you come back too. Whoever they are you’re gonna slay them all”

Then he fetched the dishes from the table while Shane stood there, hugging his knees still thinking about what to come. Jamin pick up some of the sauce of his plate with his finger and brushed on Shane’s nose and cheeks. He stood there not amused trying to not laugh but he ended up letting go a soft chuckle.

“Here’s your first look. Queen of condiments” he teased him leaving him on the table taking the dish to the sink.

*

After spending the whole day cleaning up the pile of thrift treasure that was his apartment with Kirk, the place was now filled with boxes everywhere and Shane was completely drunk. His cleaning partner was on the couch already passed out when Jamin arrived.

Jamin reached the conclusion that the living room looked bigger, even with so many boxes lying around. He had a funny expression behind the thick arrow glasses while scratching the chin.  

Shane knew he looked more homeless than ever, still with his comfy pants, sweaty and his hair. He didn’t even want to think about it. The last time he went to to the hairdresser he chose really long dreads and he was trying to tame them.

“Did you guys leave any wine left?” Jamin asked putting his backpack down on the couch and crossing his arms in front of his chest. Kirk didn’t even answered. Shane was finishing doing the dishes. They had two boxes of pizza and he was still full. Jamin approached him from behind kissing his shoulder blade.

“I’m disgusting” he flinched with his touch but Jamin didn’t mind, pushing away his dreads and nuzzling on his nape, hugging him from behind. Jamin was so tender with him all the time he wondered if he was covered in mud he would still want to touch him. He smiled sweetly by the thought. “Kirk saved a bottle for you because I have no self-control.  I’m taking a shower and we can go to the rooftop?”

Jamin that was concentrated in the beginning of Shane's jaw line stopped the kissing, “Wasn’t it blocked?” he asked confused.

“Not anymore! The ledge is not broken anymore” Shane replied finishing the last plate but Jamin seemed not convinced.

“Bitch, if that thing breaks down down my fat ass won’t be enough to save us both to crash down on the concrete”

Shane turned to face him and squeezed his ass with both hands pretending to analysing the possibility.

“I think it would” he replied giggling.

“Ah-hem”

The tall redhead was behind them with bag on her shoulders ready to leave and they quickly broke the embrace. Jamin went to the fridge to grab some water and Shane started fixing the elastic band in his hair. She knew about them but it didn’t mean they could feel up each other in front of her.

“I’m leaving. Please, continue your...security measures” She added laughing. Shane took her to the door feeling his cheeks burning.

*

Shane’s rooftop was still his favorite hideaway. It wasn’t glamorous at all, it only had some washed out beach chairs, plant vases from the neighbors, and a table that was there since Shane moved in. But being there had a whole meaning. It  meant that it wasn’t freezing. That he could have a cigarette with Alvy after dinner and talk about each other's family issues. That he could have deep conversations with Jamin under the moonlight that would end up with him sleeping in the middle of it.

They brought an old mattress to the place, a bottle of wine and some cigarettes. Shane was resting his head on Jamin’s thigh and drinking directly from the bottle. Jamin seemed far away taking a puff on his cigarette and caressing Shane’s forehead.

His fingers were cold and soft. He didn’t have callus like Shane. He loved his hands and all the things they could make him feel. He stared deeply at the sky and he could swear it was full of stars even though this was impossible in New York.

“Were you really mad after you lost that Legend awards? I was thinking about it these days…I” he stuttered feeling confused with the alcohol still running on his blood. He positioned himself sitting and facing Jamin, with crossed legs. “I don’ want you to feel like I’m stealing something from you. Because we both want this. That’s how I felt, like, I was really happy about winning but I know how much it meant to you. And you, oh my god, you blew my mind since I was that busted obnoxious twink. When you talked to me for the first time in that club I thought you’re were going to rip my head off…you were SO fierce”

Jamin took a few seconds to understand Shane’s rambling and where did it come from.

“Thorg, I wasn’t mad at you. I was mad with...Brooklyn in general. You know I wasn’t in good terms with the girls back the and I knew they wanted to see me crack, that's the fucking truth. And being the sensible flower that I secretly am…” his voice dropped down those octaves in a funny way, “Well, I did” he shrugged not bothered.

“I don't know, I was afraid this would backlash somehow, I know I’m crazy, but I keep thinking you’re gonna leave any second…I even made a playlist of heatbreaking songs for you to hear when I’m away that will make you feel bad by the thought of leaving me.”

Jamin laughed shaking his head putting the cigarette away and bringing Shane to lay again, locked between  his arms closer to his chest. He looked down at Thorgy worried face.

“I would plug in if I could touch my ears, but I can’t” he reassured  Shane shaking him a bit, Shane laughed getting out of his embrace.

“Asshole!” Shane uttered laughing and sitting again, drinking one more sip from the bottle. He was feeling brave enough to let it all out. “I was also freaking about with the possibility of facing another heartfelt lip-sync. You know, I have difficulties to get in touch with these emotions when I’m on stage…I feel so exposed? It’s like when that producer asked me to talk about my mom and I just couldn’t. I don’t want them to know this side of me-

Before he could engage in another monologue Jamin interrupted him.

“You need to stop feeling like you don’t deserve love. That people wouldn’t like you if you stopped making them laugh.”

Shane deep sighed closing his eyes in agreement. He was going to miss Jamin in that workroom so much taking him out of his nonsense.

“And you better be fucking prepared to bare your soul, because if my girl Chi Chi is in, well, that bitch is going to assassin everyone”

“I know, like shit” he drank again and Acid took it from his hands and finished the bottle.

Then Shane laid down resting his head on Jamin’s thigh again, staring at the sky once more. Somehow all the stars from before had disappeared.

*

Goodbyes were never easy for anyone but Jamin could handle them surprisingly well. He always kept in mind that was the natural course of things, that nothing could last forever. With Shane, it wasn’t a definite good-bye, but he knew everything was going to change after AS3. If the odds were in Thorgy’s favor, and Jamin deeply wished  they were, he  was going to back home with a crown.

Jamin had a valuable gift on his hand too.

The ring was in a box holographic box he made himself. It didn’t belong to anyone before him, this was all Shane’s to write their own story. He thought this through over and over again, trying to rewind their past like he could make sense of all their countless encounters through the years that didn’t seem significant. Nothing really important seems significant at the moment, and that's the tricky part of life. And somehow, all of these insignificant encounters were leading them to this tiny box inside his backpack.

Shane went to a friend’s wedding in Ohio and when he got home they barely saw each other. Leaving for Drag Race meant a lot of preparation and with all the cast rumors coming up he decided to disconnect completely. Jamin was there helping him with the process as much he could, but he knew his boyfriend, and knew he had a very strong point of view about how he wanted things.

It was all a mess until it wasn’t anymore. All set to go in a heartbeat.

Shane decided to throw a party, “make-up course cruise part II” to his closest friends before leaving for L.A. Everybody knew what was going on but they couldn’t talk about it. Some Brooklyn girls, Ruby, Ragga, Miz Jade, Lady Havokk and Alotta and the assistants. He saw his dad recently and stayed in his house was always good for him. All the support group he needed.

Most people there knew about them, but because of some of them that didn’t know they had to keep it down. They started drinking early because Shane’s flight was in the middle of dawn. Jamin wanted him all for himself, but everything happened so fast he didn’t have the time to think through. He knew the folks would stay there until the last minute.

“So, Acid, are you going to a make-up cruise too?”Alotta asked when they gathered up in the kitchen.

“For teaching them? Yeah!” he sassy replied taking a sip in his drink.

“Betty has a free schedule, but it doesn’t happen only when is AS3 disappearing season!” Miz Jade teased him.

“I’m sitting on a pile of Ru money now. Working is an option” he shrugged raising his brows in a smug way.

“Especially when you hit your age!” Allotta added and Jamin whispered a “bitch” through his drink shaking his head.

Everybody was laughing when Shane busted in the conversation in the small kitchen area.

“Get out of my kitchen, whores. I need my snacks. And take your seats because I’m performing in fifteen minutes”

The girls left the kitchen while Jamin stood there observing Shane emptying a bag of peanuts into a bowl.

“You are so being mysterious about this performance but I don’t see you getting dressed and ready in fifteen minutes. Tell me you’re not pulling me off stage to sniff my armpit or any other shit so I can be prepared.”

Shane opened a mischievous smile but didn’t say anything.

“You better take your seat” he warned him proud of himself patting on his shoulder and leaving with his peanuts bowl. Jamin rolled his eyes and followed him to join the rest of the group in the living room.

*

Few minutes later Kirk was setting Shane’s cello in the middle of the living room. Jamin was relieved that he was going to play something so his hands would be busy to not pull anyone from the audience.  He was curious about the number though.

It was a common scene to see Shane playing around the house. Lately the cello was getting especial attention, maybe because it needed more practice since he learned by himself. Every time he made a mistake he would go through it over and over again until Jamin would make a comment for him to stop.

Jamin couldn’t notice the mistakes but he needed him to understand that even in classical music the little imperfections are what makes every musician unique. And the comment was followed by an annoyed shut up anyways.

Shane arrived in the room fully dressed as if he was playing at the Carnegie Hall. All suited all in black and white and people were clapping and whistling with the unusual attire. It was perfectly fit for his long and slender figure. He was wearing a headband to keep all the dreads tidy and neat but they were part loose. He fixed his glasses before sitting and winked at Jamin when their eyes met.

Kate, one of Shane’s friends stood up and was going to introduce him.

“Since we have such a big hall to play tonight I’m going to sing this a capella, so don’t judge me too hard” the brunette with curly black hair seemed a bit nervous,  Jamin didn’t know much about her but the fact she was an excellent singer.

She nodded at Shane giving him the sign that she was ready. He closed his eyes and the whole room went quiet. The somber cello notes started resonating in the place. He opened a sweet and sort of smug smile, every musician has the playing-the-instrument-face and Shane’s couldn’t be cuter.

“And I’m telling you…I’m not going…you're the best man I'll ever know, there's no way I can ever go…no no no…”

Everybody started clapping but Jamin couldn’t even move completely in awe. Kate had a sultry but sad tone, and their version was lower than the original. She continued singing and he kept his eyes closed, but his face was making many expressions. Sometimes he would even lip-sync a bit.

This was the exorcism Shane needed.

Jamin knew Thorgy was ready. So ready to get what she deserved.

“I don’t wanna be free, I’m staying, I’m staying! And you, and you, and you, you're gonna love meeee”

She ended the song not belting her lungs out, but almost pleading. It was a beautiful redemption of the song. Jamin tried to keep his eyes from watering up. When the last notes stopped everyone was clapping and Shane finally opened his eyes and bowed to his small audience.

Chi Chi’s ghostly figure fading away in Jamin’s memory. All he cared about was that man in front of him. There was no way indeed.

*

Once again they were in the rooftop. Only Ragga stayed because she needed to check if everything was really there for the hundred time and she released Shane from his duty to spend some time with Jamin.

Shane brought the old mattress to the rooftop again, but it was a bit chilly so he brought a blanket too. Jamin was stood up smoking and leaning on the ledge. Shane was tired of carrying the thing throughout flight of the stairs and just threw it absently the thing on the floor, next to the a small cabin where the electricity system of the building was. Jamin was wearing a black t-shirt and shorts with sneakers, a look that was quiet Shane's weakness. He was still wearing the black slacks and the white dress shirt, but the sleeves were rolled up and he was getting rid off the bow tie walking towards Jamin that was staring at him from up to bottom.

“Don’t take it all off” Jamin asked him taking a puff in his cigarette and raising his brow.

Shane stopped midway letting it around his collar like a towel. Then Jamin walked to the ending of the ledge where there was an outlet and turned on the switch. And the whole length was lit by colorful lights.

“Ta-da!” he opened his arms and threw the cigarette out. Shane’s face was beautifully lit by all the different lights, making his tiny eyes sparkle.

“Merry Christmas! Wooo!” he threw his arms up in the air giggling and Jamin approached him slowy just to grab him by the tie pulling him for a kiss.

Sometimes he wondered of their constant dance of leaving and coming back was the fuel, wrapping his arms around Shane waist almost swiping him from the floor and lowering him down to lay on the mattress. They never had sex on the rooftop because anyone from the neighborhood buildings could see them, and yet Jamin just couldn’t stop. His hands were unbuttoning Shane’s shirt while he was struggling to take his shoes off with Jamin all over him.

“Wait..” he asked giggling quite breathless pushing him away a bit so he could find a good angle to remove his shoes. But Jamin’s hand were inside his pants already. “Fuck!” he gave up midway of the process of taking the other shoe.

Jamin could feel he was little bit tense because the neighbors could come out any second. The buildings were so close they could easily talk to people from their balconies.

“So we’re really doing this…you’re getting me arrested before I-I- leave” he managed to whisper trembling while Jamin was nibbling on his chest and reaching for his throat. Shane was still dressed but the shirt completely open and his pants half down. Jamin just grunted impatiently and without further ado took Shane's cock inside his mouth urgently. Shane muscles finally relaxed and he collapsed on the mattress giving in.

He kept working on his cock until it was almost hurting, everything was so fast Shane’s body was still awaking with the urgent stimulation. Shane's were fingers inside Jamin’s black curls gently pulling them up and down, as he guided the pace. The feeling of Jamin's piercing reaching the right spot under his length.

The streets were quiet and all they could hear was the faint sounds of the cars and people on the street, and Shane's moaning. Jamin stopped finally going up for a kiss grabbing Shane’s face, his lips still glistening.

“Fuck me…” he finally said something, and Shane’s promptly answered his request helping Jamin taking off his shorts but when he tried to remove his shirt Jamin stopped him. “No need, just fuck me now” he commanded holding Shane’s wrist.

Shane laughed at his ungency and prompted himself over Jamin, between his bare legs, caressing them and scrathing, burying himself on his neck, placing all his weight over him. Shane searched for some lube inside his pocket and tried to rip the lube sachet but was failing miserably. Jamin took from his hands exasperated  ripping it. He put all the liquid on his hand and reached down for Shane’s cock, never leaving his eyes. He applied with both hands, using Shane almost as a new toy, rubbing him on his entrance, teasing as he couldn’t almost hold the weight of his body.

“Are you kidding me??” Shane pleased with closed eyes, a smile full of pleasure as Jamin lead him in and out slowly, but then he was done with the teasing pinned one of Jamin’s arm on the mattress and penetrating him completely, making him curl with pleasure clutching his free hand on Shane’s back.  He knew he wasn’t hurting him, even though it’s been too long.  But Shan knew he could play all his strings, he was just out of practice.

Shane was thrusting slowly and placing languid kisses on his jaw,  and he could feel Jamin less tense so he fastened the pace as he continued to moan higher, encouraging him to fast the pace, his heart beating like a drum. Shane placed himself in a kneeling position so that he could keep trusting and pumping him. He looked around between the colorful lights and he could see his neighbor watching tv in the living room completely clueless about what was happening. He lowered himself again, the adrenaline rushing and making him even more aroused.

Shane kept rubbing his body as close to Jamin’s as it was possible, and Jamin hugged him harder to make the friction even bigger. Jamin’s cock was being complete stimulated between them, so there was no need for using hands. Shane felt Jamin coming on his stomach, his belly all slit, his thighs trembling, his eyes complete shut and mouth open. Few thrusts later and he was following him, removing himself fast enough to explode on Jamin’s chest, stoking his cock quickly and gasping, still nervous that someone could be seeing them.

Jamin was still panting looking at Shane coming back from his trance, he was all sweaty and red.  His hair all frizzled up.

“Fuck...” he gasped laughing and laying next to Jamin. His black t-shirt was complete ruined. They stood there in silence, just breathing in the cold breeze of Williamsburg at night. The cold air making the sweat of their bodies evaporating.

Jamin was caressing Shane’s dreads and thinking about the ring he had on his backpack on the table. He wondered if this was good moment to propose. Walking to grab the ring, with no pants on and a t-shirt covered with cum. Better not. His legs were still a puddle.

“Do you think Ragga is going to be mad if I text her asking her to bring some clean clothes?” Shane asked already laughing tapping Jamin’s chest lightly. He chuckled but he could actually wear that.

“My backpack is on the table with clean clothes” he replied. Shane raised his brow impressed.

“You really thought this out, huh?” he inquired him standing up and pulling up his boxers and pants on again. Jamin took the opportunity to clean up a bit, using the blanket to dry his shirt a little and putting his shorts on again. He winced already feeling a bit sore.

Shane was fumbling his backpack when he found the holographic box. He froze and showed to Jamin curious. He knew what it was. Jamin kept observing him analyzing the box, his eyes sparkling.

“Nice package…” he muttered chucking softly. Jamin could feel he was nervous but he didn’t move. He kept sitting on the mattress waiting for Shane’s reaction. He finally opened the box to see the ring. It wasn’t gold, and it was actually a ring held by a necklace. Shane removed from the box carefully and he noticed the texture was quite different. His trained finger recognized immediately. Violin strings twisted in the shape of a ring. His eyes watered up but he tried to keep it cool.

“I made it myself, well, I stole some of your old strings and I tried, but it was bitch to deal with these damn strings so I let the professionals do the rest”

Shane was holding the ring with his two hands still speechless. Jamin got up and approached him to take a look at it too.

“Wear it in the show as a necklace and when you come back home with that crown I’ll put it in your finger”

Shane just nodded and held his hand swinging it. There wasn’t nothing to be said. The eyes was all over his face. His cellphone beeped with Ragga’s message. Shane took it to read.

“I’m quitting this job today”

Shane giggled showing it to Jamin.

*

He was up in the clouds again. The flight has been smooth so far. Heart full of hope, all nails gone from anticipation. He searched for his headphones inside his bag and there was a note from Jamin glued on them with tape and an iPad also tangled in the wires.

“This is my addition to the playlist”

Shane opened a smile plugging the headphones with the iPad and only one song. “Hey, there’s no way to say goodbye” from Leonard Cohen. Shane remembered the day the singer passed away and how sad he was, spending the whole day listening to his records and Jamin comforted him with ice cream. It was such a specific pick and so out of Jamin’s musical taste Shane was surprised how he remembered that song. That excruciating song.

“This bitch…”he muttered feeling the tears forming, shaking his head. The lady beside him giving the stank eye.

[artificialqueens]

everything carries me to you: part three (thorcid)

AN: This is the last chapter of ECMTY. I had a lot of fun writing it! If you want to drop me a note or a follow you can find me on my tumblr, featherpluckn :)

It turns out, Jamin is really bad at waiting to see what comes next.

Jamin and Shane had agreed to meet up when they were both back in New York. The prospect of them as more used to scare the shit out of him. To be honest, Jamin was still scared he would fuck it all the way up somehow, but he had come to the conclusion it would be worth it. He really wants to see where all of this could lead.

 However, true to form, Jamin tries to keep his expectations savagely realistic.

When they were on the show, they were in a bubble. A bubble that forced intimacy by isolating them from the world at large. Of course, they would become closer. Of course, every little annoying trait of Shane’s would become adorable. But that didn’t mean their interactions meant the same thing to Shane.

The further removed Jamin is from what happened in that hotel room the night he was eliminated, the more his confidence about the other man’s intentions wane.

Jamin starts telling himself it was just a blowjob. It had happened before, many times. They always had incredible sex, and that would probably would not change. The two of them can get each other off but it didn’t mean they should find day jobs, move to the suburbs, and adopt 2.5 dogs.

Or that is what Jamin had convinced himself of in the meantime.

 Shane had other ideas.

*

Jamin had been spiraling into a pit of despair and ice cream for about a month before his phone beeped on a random Thursday evening. He thought it was his sister letting him know about some nails he needed for an upcoming gig and let it go.

 Two hours later, he checked his phone. It was Shane.

 I miss your face. Meet me tonight for a drink around 9??

 It was 9:15. Shit.

Jamin dropped his phone twice trying to text back and pull his pants on at the same time. He laughed and cursed at himself loudly because clearly he was extremely fucking thirsty.

 Ah! I just saw your text. Definitely need to catch up. Am I too late?

 Shane was probably already with his friends, throwing back shots, not even giving him a second thought.

 Jamin’s phone lit up 30 seconds later.

 Never.

 The next text came almost immediately with an address.

 *

When Jamin arrived at the dive bar Shane led him to, he finds the man sitting on a stool animatedly talking to the bartender. They are both laughing, loudly. Jamin is smiling before he can stop himself because that’s the sunshine effect Shane has on him and also because he’s what? Fucked.

Jamin walks up to the bar and sits down next to him. Shane turns and his face lights up. That anxious weight that had settled in Jamin’s chest the last few weeks falls into his stomach and turns into a bunch of huge fucking butterflies.

“You made it!” Shane reaches for him, kissing him on the cheek and pulling him into fierce hug.

“I made it.” Jamin sinks into the hug, making the most of the contact he’s been craving.

Shane exhales deeply and sighs, “I’ve missed this.”

Jamin can feel him run his hands through the hair he has been growing out since he last saw him. The warmth that simple action provokes spreads through his body, lighting him up with confidence. He presses a kiss to Shane’s temple and replies way too fucking honestly, “I’ve missed you. So much.”

Shane sits back and lets his eyes roam over Jamin’s face settling on his lips. As much as Jamin would make out with him pretty much anywhere Shane is willing, he is painfully aware of the fact that the bartender has been wiping out the same glass for the last 5 minutes. Plus, he’s more than sure it would escalate past the point of public decency.

Jamin puts about a foot of distance between them and clears his throat, “Can I get a beer or does this place just serve tetanus?”

Shane giggled “Bitch. It was the only place I could think of where we could talk about well you know” Shane gestured wildly in the air with his hands, and Jamin wasn’t sure if he meant them or Drag Race or the goddamn weather, “without someone we know breathing down our necks. Sadie can you get my friend a beer,  please?”

“No problem, Thorg. Anything for you?”

“I’ll take another beer and bring us both a shot of Maker’s please. I think we might be celebrating something…kind of….maybe.”

Shane giggled and Sadie moved off down the bar to get the drinks.

Even though Jamin had pulled away, Shane hadn’t let go of his hands, “Sooo, how have you been?”

What a loaded question and a million responses run through Jamin’s mind: “Good. How are you?” “Why the fuck haven’t you called me before now?” “Better now that I’m with you”

 But since unintentional honesty seems to be the theme of the night, Jamin settles for “Not so good actually. Um, it turns out I was looking forward to that text tonight a little too much.”

Jamin laughs to lighten the mood after he says it, but it still must have stung considering the tiny look of guilt that passes over Shane’s features.  

Shane laces their fingers together and squeezes, “I am sorry. Truly. Things did not go as well as I had hoped after you left. Then, I got back and I had to readjust to normal, everyday life. I had to get back into my gigs like I haven’t had this life-altering experience and it was so surreal, you know what I mean? That’s no excuse though. I know I should have texted you sooner but….I don’t know? I was also scared maybe things would have changed for you? We can just be friends. If that’s what you want. I’m totally cool with that but I really fucking like you and I mean like you like you and it’s kind of terrifying but….”

Shane trailed off and looked at Jamin with wide eyes and suddenly he was back in that vomit-soaked alley. Shane definitely had nothing to apologize for when it came to the two of them. Jamin was the one who chose not to take this thing further. The other man was always putting out clear signals and Jamin chose to pretend like he didn’t know how Shane felt about him. Yet, here he is again trying to make something out of this intense pull between them.

Jamin would like to use that old cliche “Can we start over?” but would he really start over with Shane if he had the chance? Even the messy parts of this friends-with-benefits thing they’ve had for years are precious to Jamin. He wouldn’t even  want to change all of the times Shane was leaving and he desperately wanted to ask him to stay but his fear closed his throat up. Because he at least got to touch him and hold him and fuck him like he was his just for a little bit.

There was a minute when he still didn’t know if he could do it. Insecurities and doubt and logic were gearing up to let his heart have it. But then Sadie came back. She sat down their drinks and when Shane turned his head to thank her Jamin could see the tears threatening to fall.

Nope.

He would not sit here paralyzed by the feelings he knows good and damn well are reciprocated while Shane is crying over him. His insecurities, doubt and logic can go fuck themselves.

“Hey.” Jamin said softly. Maybe a little too softly because Shane didn’t turn back to face him.

But then he realized he had heard him. Shane downed his whiskey and took a deep breath and then Jamin was the one struggling to hear his uncharacteristically subdued voice, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ll be fine. Just need a minute to shove everything back inside.”

“Shane? Look at me.”

The other man took a shuddering breath, and turned back towards Jamin with a smile on his face, “What’s up?”

Jamin internally cringed, “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like it’s okay for me to leave you hanging about my feelings for you. Because it’s not. Especially, when I feel the exact same way you do.”

“Really?”

Jamin rolled his eyes and smiled, “Yeah, really. I like like you too and I think we should give us a shot.”

Jamin could hear his heart pounding in his ears because there it all was. He had said it out loud, and there was no taking it back. He was proud of himself for finally letting Shane know how he felt, but looking at Shane’s face made him think twice. The fake smile was still there, and he was nodding but Jamin wasn’t so sure he was buying it. He just had to though.

“Look. I know I haven’t always been as brave as you when it comes to all of this. I’m just going to ask you to trust me when I say you own my ass and you have for a long time.”

Shane giggled then and Jamin took it as a good sign. “Please give me a chance to prove how much you mean to me.”

Shane let out a breath, leaned forward, and cupped Jamin’s cheek. His face broke into a bright, genuine smile,  “Alright, then. Let’s do this.”

*

Jamin had hoped his night would end like this, but he never thought it actually would.

After finishing their beers, the two of them decided to walk back to Jamin’s apartment. The bar was filling up quickly with loud regulars taking advantage of the half price margaritas. They had a lot to talk about, and it was probably not the best idea to finish their conversation in a crowded public place. He wanted to ask about what happened when he left Drag Race or  the tour that was coming up for both of them or the logistics of a possible relationship while they were both presumably touring the country, but as soon they crossed the threshold of his apartment they were all over each other.

Jamin was currently standing against his front door, naked as the day he was born  with Shane plastered to the back of him. He could feel the other man’s cock hard between them. Shane was trailing bruising kisses from Jamin’s shoulder up to his ear and back again and running his hands down his belly getting lower with each pass.

It was always like this with Shane. He was always everywhere all at once, overloading Jamin’s senses in the best fucking way possible.

Jamin was brought quickly back to the present when Shane finally reached his dick, stroking firmly and whispering in his ear, “I really want to fuck you against this door.”

He ground back into Shane and his voice cracked when he answered, “Take me then, because I am definitely not stopping you.”

Jamin lost the warmth at his back and the hand around his dick when Shane stepped back. The other man pulled backwards on Jamin’s hips and pressed down between his shoulder blades, bending him forward.

“Perfect. Don’t move.”

Jamin scoffed. He meant to make a crack about where the fuck he would go, but he caught sight of the condom Shane sat on the entry table and heard the cap pop open on the bottle of lube he knows Shane carries with him everywhere in that godforsaken satchel.

You never know when you’re going to need it, girl.

He’ll give him that one because he has never been more turned on by how prepared the man is than at this moment. Jamin braces his forearms against the door, wiggles his ass, and spreads his legs a little bit more.

“Trust me. I am not going anywhere.”

“Good.”

Shane grabs his ass then with one hand spreading Jamin open, and then runs two fingers of his other hand down to his entrance. He bends back over Jamin reaching around and grabbing his dick. Shane bites down on his shoulder and uses his lubed fingers to enter Jamin at the same time. Jamin groans at the dual sensation.

Shane begins stroking his length in time with his fingers, hitting that spot just right and he knows he’s not going to last long if this keeps up.

“Jesus. Shit! Sh-Shane just fuck me or this is going to be over real quick.”

Shane chuckles and lets go of his dick. He kisses the spot he had bitten earlier.  “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were that keyed up.”

Jamin is already breathing hard when he replies “I’m always that keyed up with you. Anyway, we’ve got all night. Plenty of time for foreplay.”

“Very true.”

This isn’t a romance novel but Jamin would be lying if he said he didn’t feel empty when Shane removed his fingers. He turns his head just in time to see him roll the condom on and lube up. Yes. He is definitely ready. It has been way too long.

“Close your mouth or I’ll find something to do with it.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Later.”

Jamin chuckles but shuts the fuck up when he feels Shane grab his hips lining himself up,  and hissing in pleasure as he sinks into him.

Shane leans down and grabs Jamin’s jaw pulling him into a sloppy kiss giving the other man time to adjust. He is a little bit larger than average but thick and it has been a while so Jamin is thankful.

Jamin sucks on that sinful tongue and nods his head. Shane takes his cue and stands up snapping his hips into Jamin’s. He sets a fast pace with short, quick thrusts. Jamin can hear Shane moaning over the sound of their two bodies coming together.

“I forgot how good you feel..mmmm” Shane is the one breathing hard now but Jamin is glad to hear it. He was not lying when he told Shane he was on edge already. Hearing the man behind him babble about how much he loves fucking him and how he missed this oh god he’s missed this is definitely not helping.

He can feel him pick up the pace and Shane presses down in the dip low on Jamin’s back, changing the angle.

He’s hitting that spot on the way in and out now making Jamin cry out. He’s almost shouting when he asks, “I’m so fucking close. Are you close?”

“Mmmhmm. Touch yourself, please.

If he was with anyone else, Jamin would have been embarrassed about the whining, grateful moan that comes out of his mouth but it’s Shane. So, he lets it out and grabs his cock.

A few good, solid strokes is all it takes. The orgasm that hits him is beyond words. Jamin is gasping for breath and pushes back into Shane one last time, clenching. He feels Shane’s last couple of strokes stutter out of rhythm and then he comes with a shout.

Jamin doesn’t even register that his ears had been buzzing until the world floods back in. He can hear a car door slam, and the sound of Shane gasping for breath and laying kisses across his back trying to catch his breath before he pulls out.

Jamin finally stands up straight and reaches up stretching out his back. He is definitely going to be sore tomorrow but it was worth it. He feels Shane wrap an arm around his waist from behind and turns around raising up on his toes for a kiss. It is lazy and spent but full of the passion Shane puts into everything he does. Jamin pulls back and bops a kiss on Shane’s nose.

“Okay. I think I am in desperate need of a shower. Care to join me?”

“Always. But no funny business, bitch. I have to get my strength back.”

They join hands and Jamin leads him down the small hallway towards the bathroom. Turning around Jamin gives Shane a mischievous grin.

“Unless you plan on showering with your clothes on, I make no guarantee.”

*

When Jamin had thought of what waking up with Shane would be like (and honestly he had been thinking of it a lot lately), he imagined waking up to the smell of coffee, and the sound of  Brahms filtering peacefully throughout the apartment. He would pad into the kitchen and Shane would be sitting there with his dreads half-tamed, reading the arts section of the newspaper wrapped up in that huge fucking striped scarf with a gorgeous  eye-crinkling smile on his face.

But the reality is, it’s Shane. Perfectly, imperfect Shane, and the man likes to keep him on his toes.

The morning after Jamin wakes up to the smell of coffee alright, but there is also the distinct smell of something charred underneath it. He can also hear some lilting, happy classical piece of music  floating through the cracked bedroom door complimented by muffled cursing.

Working up the courage to find out exactly is going on in his kitchen, Jamin rolls out of bed, pulls on Shane’s pants, and makes his way down the hall.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

Shane turns around quickly, dropping whatever he was furiously trying to clean on the counter behind him. “Good morning, handsome! Can I interest you in a blowjob that is in no way a distraction related to what may or may not have happened in this kitchen?”

“Don’t good-morning-handsome-guilt-blow-job me. What are you doing in here?”

Shane’s hands start flying wildly around his head trying to explain himself, “Well, I actually woke up early for once. I know! I can’t believe it either. I couldn’t fall back asleep and I didn’t want to freak you out if you woke up and I was just staring at you. Did you know how cute you are when you sleep? Because you are. So, I came in the living room and watched a couple of episodes of Chopped and got inspired to make you breakfast. But I-”

“Is that a fucking Hot Pocket burned to the bottom of my good skillet?”

“Maybe.”

Jamin let out a lovingly exasperated laugh. A few months ago, this would have sent him through the roof.  The two of them would have immediately went Williams-Sonoma to replace the skillet, but today? All he can do is think about the effort Shane was putting into making this morning a little more special, and damn if it didn’t make his heart melt a little.

“Are you mad? Are you ready to murder me? Well, I guess I deserve it but right when I was about to get my big break? Really?”

Jamin just shakes his head and laughs opening his arms, “C’mere, cuckoo bird.” Shane flings himself at Jamin peppering his face with kisses. “I’m not mad. I can replace the skillet. No big deal. I just can’t believe you tried to cook me breakfast.”

Shane’s face is buried in the crook of Jamin’s neck and he can feel his smile. “Thank you for not killing me. I had a really good time last night and in the middle of the night and earlier this morning. I want to live long enough for a repeat performance.”

Jamin kisses the top of his head, then lifts Shane’s chin so he can look at him. “So, you want to keep having a good time? Maybe even with our clothes on every now and then?” Jamin clutches his chest and gasps.

Shane giggles and grins, “We look so good without our clothes on though…I don’t know. Are you asking me on an honest-to-god date?”

And he is, isn’t he? This is what Jamin wants more than anything. He wants to spend the night with Shane and take him out and buy him goddamn flowers and dance in the rain at sunset. It is absolutely ridiculous, and he can’t wait to do it all.

“Yep. Dinner, movie, drinks, dancing, whatever you want to do.”

Shane kisses him then. Long and hard. Jamin knows, without a doubt, he will definitely never get tired of those kisses. Shane pulls away and smiles, “It’s a date then”

Jamin kisses his cheek “Great! First, I’m going to make us some actual breakfast. Oh, I do have one question.”

Shane is already busy pouring them both a cup of coffee but turns around and smiles, “Yes?”

“Why did you try to cook a Hot Pocket on the stovetop?”

Shane winces, “Whatever you do, do not look in the microwave.”

[mulder-isms]

Mozart and the Rolling Stones - (Thorcid Fanfic)

A\N: It’s the birthday fic you’re all waiting for! This fic happens before and after the infamous Drag Roast that happened a few days ago where our beloved ones did the thing

(Gif by the reason why I’m trash @thorgyturner)

You also need to know that Acid went to Cynthia’s one woman show a month ago and they were all being cute on Snap Chat.

You know, feedback is heartily appreciated and the fire I need to keep this dumpster always full! Send me a note or slap me in the face and tell me what’s your favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry’s? ❤️

*

Christopher’s last piano notes resonated in Jamin’s head as a reminder that he had his own private musician at home. Jamin was out to see Cynthia’s Cucu confessions show and to talk to Carlos, it’s been too long and he felt like he needed to catch up with his friend, sharing his double life experience with someone he could trust.

Jamin was in love, and not just in love. Being with Shane was in, out and all over the place.

Shane was bigger than life, and as all exaggerated things it was hard to keep them tamed. Their indiscretions during the season 8 tour went by hopefully unnoticed, but Jamin could feel the need of going out in the sun spreading inside of him. Shane was the one holding it back, because he was afraid of the exposure with the fans, with the other girls and that what they had could be tainted. Let alone the gag of the century in Brooklyn. Thorgy Thor and Acid Betty together. That’s all people could see. They could never see beyond and reach for Shane and Jamin.

Hours later Christopher and Carlos were at the table of a restaurant, celebrating the premiere of Cynthia’s show. Carlos looked healthy and vibrant as ever and Christopher was talking to Latrice on the phone.

“You killed it today, I’m so proud of you! That dress is stunning, and your voice, I gagged. Maria Callas Carlos realness!” he commented as his friend reached for his hand to squeeze.

“How are you doing baby, ay dios mio it’s been so long! You’re looking so handsome” Carlos winked at Jamin that just scoffed. He was wearing his fish sweater and had tacos for lunch. He wasn’t feeling handsome at all.

They both noticed Christopher cackling on the phone. He had a sparkle on his eyes that Jamin knew too well.

“Excuse me girls, this will take a while” he said giggling getting off the table. Jamin’s eyes followed him wondering about the lucky ones that found such love.

“Christopher makes it look so easy with Latrice” he uttered swirling the straw of this drink observing the ice rocks.

Carlos widened his eyes as if he just got a message from above.

“You’re dating someone” he concluded pointing out dramatically to Jamin. “Ay tell me everything oh my god!” and then he squeezed and shook Jamin’s forearms.

He shook his head nervous laughing but not very convincing. He opened his mouth but stopped midway.

“I know you girl. I can read you like nobody else. We have a bond, and don’t you ‘Carlos, shut up’ me” he continued making a spot-on impression of Jamin’s monotone making him laugh.

“Okay, I guess there’s no better way or preparation for what I’m about to say so I’m going to just say it.”

“Go on????” Carlos was waving his eyes encouraging Jamin to continue in anticipation.

Jamin took few seconds thinking about the words to use, still holding the thought. He should just spill it out.

“I’m with Thorgy. We’ve been hooking up since the finale party. And no, we never had anything before, just a quick make out like ten years ago in a bathroom and we were both drunk and it was New Year’s Eve and I had a boyfriend, it was a messy mess. We’ve been living sorta together? Trying to make our relationship work through this constant travelling life…but so far, I’ve never been happier with anyone like this before. And yeah, that’s it. I love Thorgy and…” he paused to finally breath and realize that he was saying it aloud for the first time to another person “I’m in love with Shane” he softly chuckled with the sound of this own confession.

Carlos just stood there in silence with his mouth part open.

“Sorry, my cucu just dropped on the floor” then he opened a smile and clapped hands excited. “Oh my god I’m so happy for you two! I can totally see that. You two are Brooklyn sisters and that chemistry, awwww, look at my Acid Berry in love”

“Shut up, Carlos” he answered rolling his eyes feeling his cheeks burning, but his chest way lighter.

“You’re the love of my life and Thorg Torg better watch out. But this makes me happy, ay mis amores I need to see her again. We need to play together! Maybe a love serenade for you?” Carlos teased and Jamin rolled his eyes shaking off the urge to laugh.

“I already regret this cucu confession” he grunted looking annoyed, but secretly relieved. One more piece of the secret was out. He wanted the tell the whole world.

*

“So?”

Jamin asked not being able to read Shane’s expression.

He was sitting on the kitchen table of his apartment. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and he had just woken from a nap, his limbs still sore from the week organizing things for Drag Con. The notebook was on the table with the layout of his booth on the screen.

Shane told Jamin he was there in twenty minutes and he had ice cream and an answer about the material he had for the roast. Jamin was too tired to take a shower or even change, so when Shane got there he was still wearing his pajamas shorts and a gray worn out tank top.

The moment Jamin was asked to participate of the Roast of Thorgy Thor he texted Shane the same minute.

“This is going be a shit show”

He wasn’t wrong. That was one of problems of dating a Drag Queen, and add one more layer to the problem as secretly dating a Ru girl. He knew his boyfriend too well and he knew Shane’s reaction would be to be excited and pretend that he wasn’t going to care. But Jamin could read not only Shane’s crooked bubbles tattoos, but he could reach deeper in his mind like his favorite book.

Shane got home with the violin case on his shoulder, caramel pants, navy blue toms and a white shirt. His long dreads were all tamed in a bun and a headband, and he stumped in the room talking about how the set list for the Well Strung tour was amazing and how crazy and exciting was his day.

Jamin followed his boyfriend to the kitchen just listening to his stream of conscious, he sat on the table observing him taking off his shoes and leaving it on the floor as he sat on the kitchen counter. He opened the ice cream container and grabbed a spoon talking about how many pop songs could fit classical ones and the way everything nowadays was recycled.

“You know, good music is timeless. You can play Mozart and the Rolling Stones together in Satisfaction and it doesn’t matter if these melodies have a gap of centuries, they just…” he entwined his fingers for a more visual explanation, “sync!”

Jamin that hasn’t said a word just scratched his stubble and yawned. He got up from his chair and placed himself in front of Shane grabbing his spoon and the ice cream container from his hands, giving him a quick peck as payment for the retrieve.

“Hi” he said after greeting him and smirked, piercing into Shane’s eyes that stood motionless. Shane adjusted Jamin’s glasses that were almost at the tip of his nose.

“Hi” then he replied chuckling embarrassed of not even greeting him before. He observed Jamin sitting down again. “If you’re not continue to kiss me I’ll just keep talking” he teased raising a brow.

Jamin put his legs on the table and continued eating the ice cream licking slowly the spoon, making Shane shake his head with the audacity.

“So?”

Shane knew exactly what Jamin wanted to know. He read the material for the roast. He just hasn’t figure out how to explain to Jamin that it was okay, even though some things may have hurt his feelings, but he wasn’t ready to come off as such a sensible flower.

“It’s great, I love it. I think the audience and the other girls are going to have fun” he lied fetching a glass of water from the fridge and sitting again on the counter. Jamin wasn’t buying.

“Shane, I wasn’t going to agree with this Roast. I told you I was turning down and I’m not even that good in stand up comedy so nobody would be surprised if I’d refused”

“What are you talking about, you’ve received excellent feedback from the Haters Tour” Shane tried to make his point

“It’s different. I didn’t have to talk shit about you, and I don’t want to.”

Shane felt his stomach dropping, but he didn’t want to show any vulnerability.

“You’ve read my material and you weren’t bothered I don’t see a reason why should I be” he continued avoiding Jamin’s eyes.

“I don’t care because I know you. And I’m used to it. But you’re not. Usually you are the one on the other side. Roastings are supposed to be inappropriate and savage” Jamin pointed out but somehow his protective tone was rubbing Shane the wrong way.

He was an experienced Drag Queen and he knew exactly what he was going to face, he didn’t need Jamin to protect him. Their relationship wasn’t going to interfere on his job.

“Look, Jamin. I know these bitches and I know what roasts are about for fuck’s sake, it’s fine! I don’t need you to tell me how I feel, fuck!” he replied annoyed.

Jamin squinted his eyes feeling the anger building up. But he took a deep breath and ate more ice cream slowly, pondering his words. But Shane’s refusal of saying what he really wanted pissed him off so much, because he knew it was going to bite him in the ass after the Roast. He was just disappointed that Shane was still holding back, as if needed to trim his feelings around Jamin. He was just done with all the hiding.

“I was just trying to make you talk what you really want to say and being a decent boyfriend, but apparently you can’t say or be neither of these things” he taunted attacking the container with his spoon but he regretted immediately. Early morning, the day before he texted Shane saying he was craving for Ben and Jerry’s strawberry’s cheesecake and he had the damn thing on his hands now. He winced in regret.

“Look, Shane I-

“I’m an alcoholic loser with a horse face, a surfboard chin and on top of that a bad boyfriend?” he hissed getting livid. “Yes Jamin, I was hurt. If I haven’t been sucking your dick the past eight months maybe this silly shit wouldn’t hurt me. But it does. And I know it’s an act, and I know you don’t mean it but it doesn’t stop me from feeling. It’s ridiculous and I don’t want to talk about it. Is that what you want to hear?” he disclosed, each word reeked in pain. “And now you’ve just confessed how you really feel, I guess the roasting had already begun”

He jumped off the kitchen counter wiping quickly a tear that rolled down from his face and started washing the spoon he used with no purpose, since he was going to use it again. He always forgets to do the dishes in Jamin’s apartment.

The bad boyfriend part still echoing in his head.

Jamin was up approaching him.

“Shane wait, just listen okay. I didn’t mean any of that. Damn, it’s fucking drag. We need to give to these rotted cunts what they want. I’m an asshole. You’re not a bad boyfriend, bad boyfriends don’t bring Ben and Jerry’s in the middle of the day. You can say anything you want to me, don’t you get that? I’m always listening. Even when you talk about music of centuries ago and get emotional about it. I want to know everything”

Shane had his arms crossed in front of his chest looking away and Jamin used his arms as bars to stop him from stomping out of the kitchen, locking Shane that was leaning on the sink. Jamin observed from up close his beautiful features, his gray green eyes under his dark brows, his perfect cheekbones and pink lips still cold that probably tasted like strawberry heaven.

“You’re the only face I want to see all the time. And how fucking hot you look when your jaw clenches when you’re mad. Like now” he tried buttering him up chuckling and he could feel he was cracking. “Come on, it’s Sunday and we have nothing to do for the first time in weeks, let’s just not do this, please…” He begged pulling him closer by the waist squeezing the fabric of his shirt.

“I guess you can grind on my surfboard chin…surfboard…surfboard…gridin’ on that wood” he recited Beyonce’s finest lyrics in the most serious tone making Jamin cackle relieved and shaking his head.

“God, I hate you” he said reaching for his neck, nuzzling his fresh skin, sniffing the little hairs from his nape, but Shane was still with his arms crossed holding the smile that was trying to appear.

“Yeah, apparently you do” he replied sassy feeling Jamin’s erection poking on his thigh.

Jamin pulled him harder by his hips, making him moan and tearing down his annoyed facade. Shane reached for his face for an angry kiss, desperately taking off his tank top and pushing him against the counter on the other side, but Jamin grabbed him quickly by his fists and switched position pushing Shane to sit on the table.

“I’m so hungry, you should order pizza. And you’re paying everything today” he randomly commented taking off his pants and shoving in Jamin’s face. The pants slid until it hit the floor revealing Jamin’s big smile. Jamin removed his glasses putting on the sink and smoothed that mess that was his hair, he was all flustered and his cock deliciously erect in his pajamas shorts. Shane closed Jamin’s notebook and put it on the chair and picked the ice cream pot again, taking a scoop, licking the spoon with no hurry as Jamin fit the spot between his legs again. He started caressing the length of Shane’s naked thighs, going up massaging his crotch, but the younger man continued unbothered eating ice cream. At least until Jamin reached for Shane’s cock, cupping him over the briefs fabric, making Shane closing his eyes and his indifferent expression melt.

“How messy can we get?” Shane whispered on Jamin’s ear putting down the cream pot and hugging him as Jamin’s hand reached inside his briefs.

“As messy as you want…” Jamin replied lowering himself and pulling down Shane’s briefs and tossing on the air. It landed on the faucet making Shane giggle.

Jamin made Shane stand up and he dropped on his knees to get him completely inside his mouth. Shane had his arms on the edge of the table and one leg on the chair, so Jamin took the opportunity to insert one finger inside him making him almost crouching down of pleasure. He kept licking his head with intention and pace, as his finger was in the same rhythm. No wonder Jamin was a good dancer.

“Fuck Jay…this is am…”

He couldn’t even finish the sentence. Jamin’s grip was strong and his lip piercing friction on the lower part of his cock sliding up and down was Shane’s favorite sensation in the world. He reached for the curls of the top of his hair directing him, making him grunt with his approval.

After taking him almost to the edge Jamin stopped, standing up and Shane was a complete puddle and too weak on his knees.

“Bend over” Jamin commanded and he gladly did, the side of his cheek glued on the table when he noticed Jamin grabbing the ice cream and few seconds later the sting cold of the dessert dropping on his back, but Jamin’s hot tongue was fast enough, kissing and lashing the cold away, exploring every inch of his back. The mixed sensations making him squirm in pleasure.

“You really like this flavor…” Shane panted breathless stretching his arms across the table as Jamin licked the hollow of his back dimples.

“Yes, I do…” he whispered back, his teeth tasting Shane’s sweat and the sweet cream. “I love you” he reassured him nibbling on his earlobe and caressing his nape. Shane just nodded wondering if he was this happy ever in his life.

And then Jamin was thrusting inside him, with no restrains making him scream as he grabbed his arms from behind, and then pulling his whole body. Shane felt like his legs would melt any moment, his stomach pressed on the table that was holding only by a miracle.

“I’m goin….to…” he stuttered feeling Jamin hitting him deep on his prostate. Then he stopped and pulled Shane for a standing up cuddle, both of them panting, Shane feeling Jamin’s heartbeat on his back like a frenetic drum.

Shane kept swinging his lips lazily with and Jamin deepening inside of him.

“You feel so fucking good…I want to taste you” Jamin pleaded reaching for Shane’s cock again, as his other arm was locked around Shane’s chest, holding his body.

Jamin dropped on his knees to finish what he started not letting a drop to waist, and Shane tasted bittersweet, and he had nail his hips on the edge of the table so he won’t fell down, but Shane was already lowering himself for a kiss too tired of standing up. When their lips met again there was an explosion of flavors, their tongues drinking it all. This was the essence of being with Shane, everything at once.

After the languid kiss, they both collapsed on the floor, the kitchen tile too cold for their burning temperature. Shane still had some ice cream on his shoulder and Jamin swept the spot, noticing his fingerprints on Shane’s neck. His whole body was full of love marks. He was undoubtedly his.

*

The roast took ages and Thorgy just wanted to go home. He observed Acid speaking on the pulpit, just overwhelmed with the whole situation. Her body always looked amazing in that golden dress, she thought while taking a sip on her beer.

Acid was the last one and still have the unfortunate position of coming right after Bob. Shane wished Jamin could see him under all that Thorgy make up and comfort him that this wasn’t them. Acid looked right into her eyes and seemed to pick up his unspoken desires.

“Thorgy…” she started exasperated, she was rushed to finish the act and snarky the way she does when she is nervous. “I don’t know why the fuck I’m roasting you, maybe it’s your fucking birthday coming or you wished it was your funeral, bitch?” she hissed again, but Jamin was trying to come out. “And you’re moving away…” she knocked angrily on the pulpit.

All the constant longing of being away from each other. Verbalized in front of all those people. Shane felt butterflies in his stomach and tried to shake it off.

“You’re leaving Brooklyn again on this amazing journey with Well Strung and…” she paused, Jamin dying to come out again. “Leaving us alone, and you’re going to be in-creeeedible!”

Jamin felt that it was too late. He was there and Acid was gone. He noticed Shane talking to Miz Jade, he knew Thorgy was trying to come off cool and indifferent.

“But don’t worry about me…because I’ll be hosting all your shows, so thank you!” she sassed her way out.

Shane was listening to the whole thing, even with his brain going out in all directions trying to think about his come backs on the roast and interacting with the girls on the table. Jamin exposed their secret world but only Shane could see it.

“I love you, Acid!” Thorgy uttered standing up and reaching him for a kiss. All his sweet words resonating in his heart. Later when he would undress completely from Thorgy they would soar.

Thorgy aimed to kiss Acid with no intention of reaching for her cheek like she did with all her Brooklyn sisters. And Acid didn’t hesitate, reaching for her waist, and patting her back like she did all mornings. Their most common domestic interaction right there in the stage.

She got back to her place again, a secret smile locked in her lips, a lighter heart.

Jamin was here.