#like im talking..cough cough pet play....cough other things?

[overflowingteacupoflove]

I need to know JUST how cool we can be about some things.

[little-wicked10]

Why Bunny?💞

Summary: The Boys find out why Butcher calls his girl bunny.

Warnings: Smut 18+, cursing, dirty talk, daddy kink (when is this not included?), subspace, marijuana use, other stuff I’m probably forgetting

Notes: I want Butcher to call me bunny😫 Inspired by this post!

“Bold Italics” - Kimiko’s sign language

//

“Get me anotha’ beer, would ya, bunny?” Butcher cheekily grinned.

She rolled her eyes as she slipped off his lap, squealing when he popped her ass as she stood up. Her glare reflected his playful and mischievous expression. “You’re sooooo lucky I like your dick so much,” she teased as she walked to the fridge.

“I think it’s a lil’ more than like, bunny. Can hardly get ya off it,” Butcher chuckled.

“You two know there are other people in the room, right?” Annie interrupted, bringing attention to the fact that the whole team was present, “Not everyone wants to be a part of you guys fucking.”

She walked back into the circle of people with a cold beer and a look of surprise, “Do I need to bring up what happened at the office last week?”

“What happened last week?” Frenchie asked eagerly.

“Tell us! Tell us!” Kimiko grinned as she signed enthusiastically.

“Nothing! It’s nothing!” Annie quickly interrupted.

Butcher chuckled as she sat back in his lap and popped the top of his beer, “Not w’at I ‘eard! Our young lova’s caused a bloody block wide outage that lasted the afternoon!”

Laughter erupted as Annie hid her face with a groan, and Hughie blushed. Was it from pride? Was it from embarrassment? It was a strong possibility it was a little of both. “That was you two?” MM cracked up, “That’s my boy, Hughie!” Annie tried to stand up and leave, but they all protested, laughing out apologies and begging her to stay and have fun. It was with the offer of passing around a bong that convinced her not to storm out on their teasing. Sitting on the floor between Butcher’s manspread knees with her back against the couch, she packed a bowl as they continued to talk.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Annie. We’ve all fucked in here,” she admitted before handing off the bong to the blonde.

“I haven’t!” MM snapped, “And if I find out one of you mothafuckas fucked on my desk, I’m fuckin’ quittin’.”

“It wasn’t on your desk, M,” Hughie admitted, sipping his beer, “It was Butcher’s.”

Butcher choked on his drink with laughter. “Annie!” she laughed hysterically, “I know that was your idea!”

Annie just shook her head with a blush as she took a hit, coughing slightly on the exhale. The weed was passed around as the conversation took a hard right into sexual exploitations and other fun things. She felt Butcher lovingly pet her head and play with her hair as he listened, delightful shivers running down her back at the sweet gesture. Absentmindedly, she wrapped an arm around his calf and played with the loose laces of his boots. Since a sudden lull in their business had popped up, little hang outs like this had become more common. A brief moment of peace and sanity before going back out into the chaos.

All eyes were on the couple on the couch as Butcher leaned over to shotgun smoke into his lady’s mouth. She sat up on her knees and leaned all the way back into his lap to press her lips to his. The group started booing and throwing bottle caps at them when they started making out. “Do you guys ever turn it off?” Hughie asks.

Sitting up, she exhaled with a smile, “There’s only one way to turn it off…and I don’t perform for an audience.”

Butcher chuckled, “Except that one time in front of ‘omelander.” He chuckled as she reached back and swatted at him for revealing their secret.

“You fucked in front of Homelander?!?” Hughie asked astonished.

“Bloody cock sucka’s a peepin’ Tom, so I had to give ‘im a show,” Butcher bragged.

“And he didn’t kill you?” MM asked.

“I’m just as shocked as you are,” she paused and took a hit, exhaling the smoke before proceeding, “Who knows how long he’s been spying on me like that.”

“Made sure that cunt knew betta’ than to come back,” Butcher smirked and pet her head, “Probably got a good wank out of it, didn’t he, bunny?”

“You know I’ve been meaning to ask you, Monsieur Charcutier, why do you call her bunny?” Frenchie asked, taking a rip, “What is the origin of this…endearing pet name?”

“Yeah, why does he call you bunny?” Annie asked.

Leaning her head back, she looked to Butcher for an answer. A small smirk played at her lips remembering the exact reason she was bestowed this nickname. “You lot want the dirty or clean version?” he asked as they broke eye contact to look back at their friends.

“Dirty version PLEASE,” Kimiko signed.

//

Walking into his apartment, the aroma of food filled his nose. There was a warm aura about the small space that gave off a homey, lived in feeling. Closing the front door, Butcher looked on the counter to see a plate of steaming food and an ice cold beer. A smirk played at his lips as he stepped up to the counter and noticed a little note tucked under the plate.

‘Eat up, daddy. Meet me in the bedroom when you’re done.’

“Ya naughty thing,” he chuckled to himself.

While the food looked delicious and the beer tempting, he’d rather skip to the dessert she had planned. He stepped away from the counter and stalked towards the closed bedroom door. Butcher couldn’t hear anything from the other side, but he saw her shadow dancing around from under the door. The temptation was too sweet. He could only imagine what awaited him on the other side as he grasped the handle and walked in, “Now w’at’s goin on in ‘ere?” Butcher stopped as she came into view.

She was slightly bent over at the waist checking herself out in the mirror over the dresser. When she turned to him, he swore he started drooling. Standing up straight to lean against the dresser, she let him drink in her appearance. She wore one of his favorite Hawaiian shirts. It stopped just below the tops of her thighs and was completely unbuttoned to show off the fact that she only had on another one of his favorites. A pair of black lacy panties, the ones he LOVED to push to the side and fuck her seven ways to Sunday when she wore them. The icing on the fucking cake was the fluffy white bunny ears on her head. That’s what really got his attention.

“You’re supposed to be eating your dinner,” she chastised.

Butcher couldn’t say anything, too busy admiring her little surprise. He ran a hand over his mouth in disbelief as he stepped closer, “Well, afta’ readin’ tha’ cheeky lil’ note of yours, me appetite wanted somethin’ sweet-a.”

“You always ruin your surprises!” she pouted, “I worked so hard on that dinner for you.”

Butcher chuckled darkly, eyeing the swell of her breasts peaking out from under the shirt, “Aww, pet, ‘m sorry. Imma right cunt ignorin’ all that hard work. W’at I do to deserve such a lovely treat from my special girl any how?”

She sauntered over to him with a sultry swish of her hips, “Just a fun lil’ idea I had when I saw these out shopping. Do you like’em, daddy?” Her eyes flicked up to the bunny ears then back to his.

He cocked his head to the side and leaned back a bit, admiring her more as his hands rested on her hips, “I fuckin’ love it. Ya gonna bounce on me cock, lil’ bunny? Wiggle an’ scrunch that cute nose when yer about to cum?”

She blushed madly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her barely clothed body against his, “You’re having way too much fun with this.”

“Tha’s the idea, innit, pet?” he leant forward and bit under her ear, “Now, let daddy enjoy ‘imself.”

Her fingers wove into his black hair as he attacked her neck. She stood up on her tip toes and exposed her neck more to him as his greedy hands grabbed at her ass and hips. A growl rumbled in his chest when she pulled his hair and whimpered. Butcher ran his hands up her body, over her chest before pushing off the shirt. Pulling away from her neck, his lust blown eyes stared at her breasts, “Loveliest pair’a tits I eva’ had the pleasure of puttin’ in me gob.”

His rough hands played with them, tweaking her nipples to peak before leaning down and wrapping his hot mouth around the peaks. Her sweet moans filled the bedroom as he sucked and nibbled. His grip shifted to grab her by the back of the thighs and pick her up, falling on the bed to pin her beneath him. Hips wiggled against the bulge in his jeans, and her hands frantically began to work on his shirt. Butcher smashed his lips to hers, propping himself up on his forearm and using his free hand to help get rid of his clothes.

Before too long, they were both naked, sans her bunny ears. She suddenly shoved Butcher to lay on his back, slipping down his body to nestle between his spread legs. His chuckle was dark and amused, “Always wanted a lil’ playmate.” She smirked as he threw his hands behind his head and relaxed. Deciding to give him exactly what he wanted, she slowly took him in her mouth. No teasing, just straight to sucking the man’s soul out.

“Oh f-fuckin’ hell, bunny!” he gasped.

She moaned around him at the new pet name.

Through her lashes, she watched as his biceps and abdomen flexed with every pleasurable pass of her mouth. One of his hands was suddenly threaded into her hair, careful to not mess up her cute bunny ears. He couldn’t stop his hips from bucking up into her mouth. A feral moan left his chest when he felt her begin to fondle his balls. A shudder ran through him, “Sh-Shit!”

She would’ve smirked if her mouth wasn’t stretched around his girth. Taking a deep breath, she let him slip down her throat until her nose touched his pelvis. Butcher gasped and tightened his hold, “Fuck!” She focused on breathing through her nose as her throat constricted around his cock. After a few moments, she began a slow, agonizing drag off, stopping to suck on his leaking tip. A shudder rolled through his whole body, hips nearly coming off the mattress. She released him with an obscenely wet pop. Butcher’s eyes were completely black with lust as he watched a line of drool connect his tip to her swollen lips.

“Tha’s a diabolical mouth, darl’,” his gravelly voice made her thighs clench, “Get up ‘ere and give us a kiss.”

As she crawled up his naked body, she trailed kisses and little love bites up his abdomen and chest. She showered his strong neck and jaw with affection as his hands roamed her body. Butcher’s patience was wearing thin, so he flipped her underneath him, melding their lips together. “I’ll have to wear these ears more often,” she giggled. A chuckle rumbled in his chest as he made a home between her legs, wrapping them around his waist before notching his tip to her slick entrance.

“I love a slut that gets all hot’n botha’d from noshin’ on me cock,” he barely moved his hips forward.

She moaned and whined, pushing her hips closer, “Only your cock, daddy.”

Without warning, he pushed himself inside her, their hips flush in one thrust. She gasped as he growled at the feeling of finally being inside her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him access to hers. She whined when his teeth latched on her to clavicle and hips began to thrust. A symphony of grunts and groans reverberated in her ear with every delicious drag of his hard length against her velvety walls.

His thrusts picked up in force, hitting deeper and slamming into that spongey spot he loved to abuse. Every time he bottomed out, she whined, digging her nails into his scalp and neck. “Tha’s a good girl. Ya just let daddy do whateva’ he wants, don’t ya?” he taunted in her ear. She nodded. His dark chuckle only turned her on more. Her body sparked with such pleasure and heat it made her brain foggy, drunk on lust, drunk on him.

“B-Billy,” she repeated his name like a mantra.

“Oh, is my lil’ bunny gone all fuzzy?” Butcher teased, looking into her glazed over eyes, “She ‘as. No thoughts in that ‘ead of hers. Just daddy and his magic cock.”

Once again, he rolled them until she was straddling his lap, frantically rolling her hips without a second thought. She braced her hands against his chest and started bouncing. Butcher’s head fell back on the pillows as his eyes rolled back, hands aiding her every rise and fall. Every time he plunged back into her, her arousal gushed and coated their laps. He could practically feel it dripping down his balls.

The new position made him hit even deeper. The stretch and burn she felt only fueled her need for more. Butcher suddenly planted his feet and began meeting her bounce for bounce. The word “daddy” and his name tumbled from her mouth in whiny praises. Neither knew what she was trying to tell him, but it didn’t matter. One of Butcher’s hands left her hip to play with her clit, “Been neglectin’ ‘er, ‘aven’ I? Let’s fix that.”

The second his rough thumb began to circle her clit, her hips began to roll, desperately chasing her high. He fucked her with abandon feeling her walls flutter and seeing her nose begin to scrunch up. “C’mon, baby. That pretty cunt gonna squirt?” She whimpered and nodded. His thumb circled faster as her hips began to falter. “Keep goin’, bunny. You’re so close,” Butcher encouraged. That’s all she needed before her cunt trapped him in a vice-like grip and came. She screamed and whined as her vision went white. Her whole body involuntarily shivered as the waves crashed over her.

The feeling of her soaking him and the bed sent him over the edge, reaching his end with a deep roar. Panting, she collapsed on his chest as he rut his hips against hers, riding out there highs until their limbs were too weak to move. Butcher’s fingers skimmed along her spine as he whispered sweet nothings to her, basking in the fading fluttering of her cunt.

After a few moments, she threw the bunny ears off with a weak laugh. She hissed as he pulled out of her and helped her lay beside him. They sat in comfortable silence catching their breaths.

“Fink I’ll take that dinna’ now,” he suddenly said.

She giggled, “Well, since you did give me that amazing ride, I guess I can heat it up for you.”

“Cheeky bunny,” he smacked her ass.

She took a moment to focus on keeping her legs from trembling as she went to stand up off the bed. Reaching down, she grabbed Butcher’s shirt and threw it on, heading into the kitchen to warm up his food. She cracked open a fresh beer before taking the now warm plate from the microwave and moving into the bedroom. She looked at her man laid out on the bed.

“Seriously?” she giggled in the doorway.

He’d reclined against the headboard with a cigarette between his lips and the white bunny ears on his head, “W’at?”

[husky-twst-and-obeyme]

Asking for their type

Dorm leaders asking (reader) they’re type in a guy , in which they respond describing the leaders

Riddle

Riddle had deep feelings for you but he wanted to know you more

So he had an idea to ask what type of guys you’re into, he’s not going to change himself but more so adjust

like if you’re into sporty guys, he’ll try playing more sports and such

“Y/n, i’m curious because of what i overheard from ace and deuce -lying- what type of guy are you into?”

“What guy am i into?.. welllll”

You first described someone who is well mannered and a good student

Perfect he thought, he’s already someone like that so that makes things easy

“ i also like shorter guys because of how huggable they are”

A little offended but it’s not like you said it directly to him

It was all normal until you started getting into more detailed

“I’d like for him to have red hair.. beautiful grey eyes .”

(Wait a minute.. are they talking about..?)

“And he needs to be the dorm leader of Heartslabyul~ “ you looked directly at him

Riddle.exe has stoppped working

Legit he froze because he KNEW you were talking about him

Then he started blushing like mad

“W-well what a Coincidence...my type just so happens oens to be you y/n”

Leona

Let’s be honest, he doesn’t care, so he says at least~

He kept thinking how he wanted to keep you to all himself but that got him thinking

What you like a guy like him hence leading him to ask what guys you like

Just a “genuine “ question *cough**cough

“My type of guy? Hmmm..” you had thought for a moment.

“Well.. if i had to choose, someone who has pride and very strong, who doesn’t like a guy with muscles?”

He smirks only a little to not be notiable

He already knew he’d have a chance, he was prideful already and had muscles due to workouts

“ i also like guys that have nice tan skin especially if he has brown hair “

A little weird but a lot of people do have a type with tan people so he shrugged it off until..

“I’d also liked if he had beautiful eyes , like staring into emeralds.. and petting his fluffy ears”

“Wait... what do -“

“And i hope he’s the Savanaclaw dorm leader~”

Blank. He’s blank and then he gets up

“Leona?- ah! “ you get picked up by him

You try to struggle to get out of his grip but he’s too strong

“Im sure you’d like to nap with “your type” wouldn’t you , herbivore?~ “

Azul

Azul is for sure a people pleaser , whether people like him or not

So of course, he'd be interested in what type of guy you're into

He wouldn't change himself but more so adjust to your taste

' (y/n) - san!~ " "oh hey azul!"

he loves his conversations with and to not make things look super obvious, he talked about his day , other topics that people would usually discuss and THEN go for the fish. heheh-

" now out of curiosity..is there any men you are into??" " "huh-" "I apologize but it's just a typical question and i'm curious as well! you know me ~ " he hoped that he was playing off well

after you recovered from being off guard you thought to yourself for a moment "Well I often like guys who wear glasses and are intelligent . "

Azul felt pride, he already had these traits and he was fully aware of it

you continued on you started to get detailed , he didn't noticed until one key word.

" it'd be cute if he was a nice octomerman..~ "

"haha that's.....wait a f**king minute- "

as soon as he realized you were talking about him, he absolutely melts

he doesn't even need to confirm it, like what other octomerman do you know??

you tried to calm him down but all he kept doing was hiding his face ,somewhat squealing and just laying on the floor

yes this was in private but there could be a chance he would do this even in public -

Kalim

Kalim had a major crush on you and it was like " I like them so much and i want to do everything i can to get their attention " kind of crush

So he just casually talks to you when he bumps into in the halls

he talked normally at first so that his true interest wasn't revealed

" so (y/n)/nickname do you have any guys of interest ? like what kind of guys do you like? "

now he made it obvious in a way but he thought he was being sneaky , you knew but played along

"well I like guys who are fun and charming in a nice way like helping others "

ah what a coincidence kalim thought , he tries to be fun and does his best to help others!

" I also find it cute when they have light colored hair ..closer to being white ."

it should of clicked but it didn't -

you actually kept giving hints of his appearance and stuff that's happened but he did not catch on AT ALL

so with one last shot -

" wow (y/n) you expect a lot from a guy! ahaha! "

" yeah but one last thing.."

"hm?"

" if would be nice if i shared his last name .. Asim.

it took a few seconds but then his face turned lightly red "ah-"

then we have jamil in the back , watched the whole thing mind you , and he's like " f**king finally- how are you that oblivious- "

Vil

Vil was someone who didn't really fish for attention that was until you came along

he's honestly confused on his feelings because he never really cared too much but why does it now with you here?

to save himself from getting his hopes high, he wants to know you're preference.

just to see if he even has chances but he's gorgeous of course he's high up on the ladder but anyways-

during one of your conversations

"dear potato, is there any person that catches your interest? "

he's clever to not specify but you actually catch on that he means " what kind of people do you like "

" well.. i tend to like blondes, not sure why "

He's already feeling confident but then again a lot of people prefer blondes sometimes anyways

"I'd also like if he was a bit of a fashionista , so we could go shopping and try outfits "

Vil smiled 'Is that so?"

He already can tell his chances are better now but when he heard this

"Now it would also be nice for him to have purple in his to highlight his appearance"

Vil looked at you "Wait"

and you looked directly back " As well as being the famous Vil Schoneheit~"

you both just stared at each other until Vil Spoke "Was it obvious..?"

You giggled "Very~"

Vil looked away in embarrassment but shortly after recollecting his thoughts "if that's the case..I would like to go shopping with you."

Idia

You all know for a fact , he does have confidence at all

So obviously he would struggle with his crush , you.

Now he tries to observe your interest and your likes so he can try to bond with you

but first things first, are you even interested in guys like him?

"H-hey Y/n chan. " "hm?" " A questionnaire asking about "Your Type" showed up. It kinda made me curious , what's y-your type?"

Idia is actually the only one where you don't pick it up right away that he's asking out of his own interest because he's often a curious guy so you don't question it

"Well. If I wanted a boyfriend he'd at least have to be a gamer "

Idia's hair flared up a little but not too much , he nodded

" I want him to be smart too , especially since i struggle with some subjects , we can even go on cute study dates "

Idia's hair turns a little pink , that catches your eye , after that you put two and two together and finally figured out his motive. you decided to have a little fun~

"I'd also like if he had color hair , makes him more interesting ya know? "

Idia's hair gets brighter but the nail in the coffin?

" but it would be nice for him to make me Mr/Ms/(Whatever gender neutral term ) Shroud ~"

He got caught and he knew it , he looked at his hair

Then looked back at you "..." he hid under his bed

"IDIA Nooo! " you tried to get him out "I'm sorry! It was too hard to resist! " you laughed but under the covers , he was happy to know you are interested

Malleus

This boy is just precious

as much as he wants to be in a relationship with you , he wants to get to know you more then anything

What he heard from Lilia (dear god) is that to be sly with it, you'd ask your crush "What type of guy do you like" , you know Lilia is setting it up on purpose-

So that is exactly what he does

"Y/n. " "! ah- Yes Malleus? " you got caught off guard because he just suddenly appeared

"out of curiosity , what is your prefered partner? "

You can see the sparkles around him , you can tell why he asked but you don't have to the heart to call it out so you went along

"Well. I like guys who are taller , at least taller then me "

He nods , he already sees his chance but he considers you rather small to begin with , so it would be easy for others too

"i also find guys with pale skin and dark hair attractive "

He nods , though he seems to not notice that detail directly yet , so you push

"It would be cool if he had dark horns and was a fae"

He nods , How did he not even react? is he just that focused on you? So you try something VERY direct

" and also happens to be the next ruler of briar valley, currently the prince?"

He nods ".....wait" he snaps to reality "That's me-"

All you could do was laugh at how silly he was , this just confused him now , do you like him or are you joking? You do like him

Hope you enjoyed!

[cruesuffix]

For some reason I've been thinking about how much Mick really smoked, and like when he actually started..

Like it must've been pretty young right? I'm just imagining kitty!Mick and Sharon going over to Mick's parents house for dinner and Mick is like weirdly irritable/fidgety cause he can't smoke infront of his parents/doesn't wanna get scolded. Maybe Sharon is petting him to try and calm him down, giving him a distraction from the cravings. Perchance he also starts aggressively coughing, then again I've never actually seen him cough...but we do see him get fidgety!

oomfie believe it or not i sometimes think about this to! like, especially when im watching an old concert and i suddenly see this man with a cigarette in his mouth like… omg my mans was a chain smoker frfr!! he’s so funny cause… you can’t wait an hour-two hours to have a smoke break?? i don’t know if we’ll ever know how much he smoked on the daily (if i had to guess maybe one or two packs a day??)

i also think he was probably pretty young when he started smoking… maybe late teens to early twenties?? even so, maybe his family didn’t even know he was a smoker, so he has even more reason to hide it from them and not smoke around them (because if he did, we all know they’d tell him to stop). too bad the nicotine withdrawals are heavy duty. he’s got the airplane ears locked in the entire time, and no matter how much sharon tries to pet him and calm him down, he can’t stop fidgeting. he’d literally have to talk himself out of bringing his pack of cigarettes with him. on the drive to his parents house, he still can’t keep still and sharon is trying to tell him to quit smoking. mick is still very tense and he’s giving her very short and terse answers. (he’s the king of “i can quit anytime i want to!”)

even when they’re at his parents house, he’s still very fidgety and he’s trying to be polite but literally every single thing is annoying him for some reason. his leg can’t stop bouncing and he can’t stop playing with his hands. maybe his mom notices and asks him what’s wrong and now he has to play it off like he’s just a bit spacey and that he’s fine. still, they can see his airplane ears and his tail flicking around impatiently like he’s waiting for something (to go home and smoke a nice little cigarette). whether they address it or not is another story, right now mick just has to get through that dinner without any other issues. sharons just discreetly stroking the back of his head and rubbing his arm to comfort and distract him, and then he just starts coughing. you know the type, the very stereotypical smokers cough. it goes on for a while, and maybe he tries getting up from the table to go nearly choke somewhere else, but luckily it stops and he kinda has to recover while everyone’s looking at him like “what kinda flu do you have?” he plays it off like he just has a bad cough and they continue their dinner.

of course by the end of the day he’d be racing back home to retrieve his glorious pack of cigarettes while trying to forget the day he’d just had.

the poor cat going through nicotine withdrawals… how easy it would be to make him go into airplane ear mode cause of how fidgety and on edge he’d be. i have noticed how fidgety he’d get sometimes in interviews… wonder if that was him thinking about getting a smoke break in lmaooo. also im sure ive heard him cough like…once. he didn’t seem to cough much though… so that’s a smoking symptom he seemed to bypass. still, the man was definitely a chainsmoker so… there’s that! these are still relatively normal things to ponder about oomfie!! (well, at least by my standards, maybe some ppl will look at us like we’re criminally insane but… who cares!! <333)

[chubbyheadquarters]

Swk and macaque x little brother reader one shots (who’s like 500 years younger then them and also a monkey) Im making a character and I need to see more platonic x readers ❤️ love your writings

That sounds neat!

Genre: Platonic

Pronouns: Male

TW/CW: None

Characters: Sun Wukong-Monkey King and Macaque-Liu Er Mihou

☀️Sun Wukong ☀️

"So, safe to say, you're super sick."

"Yeah, no shit, dipshit."

Wukong frowned, leaning against the doorway, "No cursing."

You scoffed, ready to retort back, but harsh coughs pushed past your lips. He immediately moved to your side, taking the cloth off your head and drying it before dipping it in water and placing it back to its original spot.

You could feel the nervousness radiating off of him, and it was making you roll your eyes.

You waved him off, "Just go get the medicine."

He pouted, but moved from your side, heading out with his footsteps getting faint-

Only for them to come rushing back to your room, with his head poking in.

"Are you absolutely-"

"Go. Get. The. Medicine."

He raised his hands, "Okay! Okay!"

You could hear him walk away, and with the silence, knew that he had finally left to get your stuff.

A weak sigh left your mouth.

You knew he meant well, but your brother could be such an fool sometimes. You weren't going to die if he left for a few minutes, and yet, he made a whole deal about it.

Granted, the two of you barely got sick, but your body wasn't used to all the stuff his was, nor was it in the best shape. While on his journey, his body had gotten used to all sorts of curses, illnesses, etc.

Meanwhile, you had stayed back and protected your monkey friends on Flower Fruit Mountain, passing the days by and eating with your monkey friends.

A soft chrip by your side had you smiling. All of your furry friends were huddled in your room, looking at you with worried faces.

It was cute how concerned they were.

Even with the constant assurance, they still seemed nervous for you. Wukong's stress must have rubbed off on them.

You could understand your brother's worries to a certain degree. After having demons constantly raiding your home and him coming back to see you and the others with new scars, you'd be worried too if you were in his shoes.

But the way he treated you like fragile glass at certain times is what made you upset.

You had the conversation with him multiple times, and he tried to be less protective, but it would still happen every so often.

...

..

.

Maybe THAT incident still plays through his mind...

Lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice the worry on the monkey's faces, who huddled closer to your side. Your hand unconsciously moved to pet them, which eased them a bit. Though, they were curious as to what plagued your mind.

Before long, Wukong had returned with the medicine, stepping inside and taking his shoes off.

"I'm back!"

Wukong waited for a remark, but when he heard nothing, his body was already heading towards your room.

You were still staring out that window, before turning to him with a blank expression.

He moved to sit beside you, "What's up?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

You took the medicine from him, smiling, "How much of a loser you are."

You burst out laughing at the shocked expression he shot at you. With a few coughs thrown out there and medicine being taken, the two of you decided to watch some movies in your room.

🌙Macaque🌙

"Big brother?"

The soft squeeze of his hand signaled that you had his attention, "Are we almost done?"

Macaque nodded with a small hum, "We just need one more thing."

You smiled and cheered, happy to be finished with all this walking!

The two of you had reached your last destination, with the older monkey talking to the stall owner. Not long after, he's grinning, happy with the good deal he just bargained.

"Now we can-"

Looking down, he sees that you're no longer there.

He's freaking out.

Where the hell did you go!?

He literally looked away for a few seconds-

And now you're missing!

He hadn't even felt you move your hand from his!

While the poor simian was scouring the market, you, on the other hand, were following after a man pushing a cart of plums.

After finally catching up, you reached out and grabbed his pants, softly pulling on it.

The male turned, squatting down, "What can I do for you kiddo?"

Nervously, you rummaged for your money, "Can I get as many plums as this can buy?"

You shoved the few coins you had in his view and the man nodded, "Of course!"

He turned around, grabbing three before handing them to you and patting your head, "Here you go!"

A smile had graced your lips and your tail wagged with excitement, "Thanks mister!"

He nodded before tipping his hat and walking off.

You couldn't help but cheer in your head.

Big brother's favorite fruit!

He'll definitely be happy!

After all, he had been really busy and tired looking from his missions lately, and you knew that plums were something that never failed to make him smile!

With a call of your name, you turned around, seeing Macaque heading your way.

You waved, watching as he ran over to you before wrapping his arms around you. The force startled you, and your expression warped to concern.

"Don't ever run off like that again!"

He pulled back, hands now on your shoulder. His grip was tight, but not to where it could hurt you.

"Something bad could have happened to you!"

He couldn't lose you.

You were his little brother.

The only thing he had that kept him going.

Your tail and head lowered, eyes refusing to meet his, "I'm sorry..."

Macaque stopped, and took a deep breath.

He had to remember that while he was around 500 years old, you weren't.

You were just a child.

And he knew that you wouldn't do anything bad.

You wouldn't just run off.

"Where did you even go?"

You took the plums, shoving them in his face with an apologetic expression.

"I got it for you!"

"...With your money?"

You nodded, "I saw how tired you were, so I thought you'd like some plums. They're your favorites!"

.....

...

He felt too blessed at times.

Having a younger brother like you.

You were too nice for your own good sometimes.

Macaque patted your hair, ruffling it a bit and earning a laugh from you, "Thanks bro."

He stood up, extending his hand out to you, "We can enjoy them back home."

You grabbed onto his hand, smiling and humming as the two of you walked home.

"You're still grounded."

"What!?"

Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors!

[unfriedough]

hii! i have a request if that's ok .

for this request you can do either a modern au just just a regular avatarverse because i believe it works both ways (though i think its way better with modern)

basically the girls of the gaang out together for a little girls night out and the guys are just hanging out together. they talk about their girls a little bit but then a storm rolls in and its HEAVY. fiance!zuko (or husband) you know starts to panic a little bit because reader isn't really answering the phone (if chosen modern au), and theirs like a pretty ugly storm. reader DOES come back eventually soaking wet/sneezing and coughing, zuko is kind of like 😟😟, and the rest of the fic is just zu taking care of soaked and cold reader and its all fluff at the end!

���💗

‘The common cold’- Modern!Zuko x female!reader

Masterlist <3

An: HIYA!  Literally, I love you. I LOVE MODERN AU’S IM SO HAPPY YOU REQUESTED!!!!!! 🫶 Side note: I’m aware it’s almost been like a month since I’ve posted, and I really don’t know what to say other than sorry! (Though, I can’t guarantee it won't happen again, school starts soon :’))

Summary:

Read request :) SET IN MODERN AU!!!

Warnings: stressed zuko tbh, super duper cheesey, pet names ig

“Last week, Suki took me bowling! It was sooo much fun!”

“Were you any good?” Aang replied, interested in Sokka’s most recent endeavours.

The boy huffed in return, hanging his head, “No, I flopped so hard, you don’t even know.” he paused, before looking back up, “What about you, what did you do?”

Aang grinned, “Katara and I spent the day indoors, bingeing her favourite show! To be completely honest, I didn’t really understand what was going on.” he frowned, before smiling as he recalled how she laughed at a joke he didn’t get, then looked at him in shock when she realised he didn’t laugh.

Aang turned to Zuko, tilting his head, waiting for him to add his own side of the story, Sokka doing the same. 

“What?”

“What did you and Y/n do?” the brown haired one asked, an encouraging look on his features.

He looked between the two, getting a middle school boy sleepover vibe from the atmosphere. Alas, he didn’t mind sharing, “We had a picnic by the beach.”

“Was it romantic?” Aang asked.

Zuko blinked twice in his direction - what else would it be?

“What do you think?”

“I’ll take that as a yes…” he rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“Anything else?” Sokka asked, feeling like he ended the conversation too fast.

Well, there were plenty of other things you did! You baked a few recipes you’d seen online, struggling to follow the complex instructions, causing a messy end result, but two very proud individuals. Zuko recalls lecturing you after you had some of the raw batter, and you simply wiped some off of the spoon and onto his nose - your husband wasn't very amused. You also made him take a few quizzes online, ranging from which (Favourite game) character are you, to what’s your love language, to ‘create a desert and we’ll tell you what kind of spouse you’re looking for!’. He was highly sceptical of the last one. By the end of that session, you had established that zuko was an introverted-triple chocolate fudge cookie-alien with no favourite colour - he was 99% sure that was inaccurate. Although, his favourite was when you two dressed in your most fanciest outfits, and danced around the house, bodies rhythmic and in sync, despite no music playing. Only sounds coming from the gentle hums leaving your body, content from being held by your lover. He wished that moment never ended, he wasn’t exactly sure how to tell you that a thought you had on a whim is now his go-to romantic activity. Maybe it was the silliness of it all, every new day punctuated with weird games and jokes. He was a fan though.

Sokka nodded, deciding not to push the man’s limits, and turned on the large tv. The movie playing was nothing more than a low budget horror film - if you could even refer to it as that. The CGI was poorly conducted, and the story line was nonsensical. Aang and Sokka enjoyed it though, ‘the tackier, the better’ - their words, not his. Just as the three relaxed into their seats on the large sofa, a loud jumpscare came up, the villain flashing onto the screen along with a horrible screech. It wouldn't have been that scary, if it weren’t for the sudden bolt of lighting striking the nearby ground. The younger two jumped, screaming, grabbing onto anything close to them.

Sokka nodded, deciding not to push the man’s limits, and turned on the large tv. The movie playing was nothing more than a low budget horror film - if you could even refer to it as that. The CGI was poorly conducted, and the story line was nonsensical. Aang and Sokka enjoyed it though, ‘the tackier, the better’ - their words, not his. Just as the three relaxed into their seats on the large sofa, a loud jumpscare came up, the villain flashing onto the screen along with a horrible screech. It wouldn't have been that scary, if it weren’t for the sudden bolt of lighting striking the nearby ground. The younger two jumped, screaming, grabbing onto anything close to them.

Sokka nodded, deciding not to push the man’s limits, and turned on the large tv. The movie playing was nothing more than a low budget horror film - if you could even refer to it as that. The CGI was poorly conducted, and the story line was nonsensical. Aang and Sokka enjoyed it though, ‘the tackier, the better’ - their words, not his. Just as the three relaxed into their seats on the large sofa, a loud jumpscare came up, the villain flashing onto the screen along with a horrible screech. It wouldn't have been that scary, if it weren’t for the sudden bolt of lighting striking the nearby ground. The younger two jumped, screaming, grabbing onto anything close to them.

“What was that!” Aang yelled, looking out of the window.

“Talk about bad timing.” Sokka sighed, the storm becoming more prominent outside.

The rain stuck to the big window, the outside view becoming more blurry. Zuko’s breath hitched as he realised you were out, immediately tugging at his phone, unlocking it, and searching for your contact.

“What’re you doing?” 

“Calling Y/n.”

“Oh my god.” Sokka immediately rushed to get his cellphone, Aang just as fast.

Zuko walked into your shared bedroom, picking at his fingers anxiously as he awaited the calling screen to switch from ringing to the numbers. As soon as he heard your voice he put the phone up to his ear.

“Yn where are-”

“Hi! This is Yn’s voicemail, please leave a message after the beep!” 

His heart sank, and he suddenly felt light headed. Zuko didn’t cope well under stress, especially when he didn’t know where you were.

And so he called again. And again. And again... Only to get no response. On the 7th try, it stopped ringing, only calling - you had no service. He officially couldn’t reach you.

“Any luck?” the ponytailed guy said, leaning on the door frame, staring at Zuko’s back, who was now sitting on the far edge of your shared bed.

Zuko shook his head, dropping it into his hands.

Sokka rounded the frame and sat next to him, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly,

“I’m sure she’s okay, her phone probably just died,” he smiled.

“Yeah but how about Suki or Katara or Toph? All of their phones died?”

“Suki never charges her phone before leaving the house, Katara’s phone probably got waterlogged, and Toph never answers anyways.” he shrugged, masking his anxiety with false coolness.

“I guess so,” they both knew that didn’t make Zuko feel better.

Just then, Aang ran into the room, heaving, “GUYS! KATARA’S CAR JUST PULLED INTO THE DRIVEWAY!” 

The boys immediately perked up, a bright smile on Sokka’s face. They sped to the door and opened it, finding you fumbling with your keys, with the three other girls behind you. Zuko’s face lit up, and he immediately engulfed you in probably the warmest hug you’ve ever felt.

“Hey,” you whispered, grinning. “I’m home,”

You knew he was probably anxious, judging by his shaky body, and furrowed brows. He had the tendency to project a face of anger when faced with fear and uncertainty. But you knew better. Zuko was just worried for you - and rightfully so.

He let you go afterwards, leaning back with his arms still on your elbows, examining the wetness on your clothes. 

“What took you so long?”

“It wasn’t long at all? The storm only got worse like 5 minutes ago?”

“It definitely didn’t feel like just 5 minutes, Yn” he said sternly, almost like that of a father to his kid who played in the mud. It was cute how worried he was.

Everyone stepped into the house, not forgetting to remove their shoes by the little shoe cabinet by the door, the one you decorated with stickers on a day much like this one, muddy and rainy. The stickers have since then chipped and faded, but the memory the hold within will always be sweet. You immediately went to your room, wincing at the feelings of your wet socks against the ground, a change of clothes being your objective. Zuko joined you in the room as you stripped down, throwing you a pile of fresh pj’s and socks. As you finally felt the warmth of the newly out of the laundry outfit, another, even stronger, warmth covered you. You leaned into him, the scent of his masculine perfume flooding your senses. It was one you picked out for him, seeing as though it smelt less like a scent and more like a feeling. Like the feeling of a cold winter day being ended with a cozy sleep under the soft sheets of a cabin, far in the woods. You loved it, and so did he. It’s been the one he’d dawned for ages now, refusing to swap it out no matter what. He sighed, kissing you softly. You pushed him away, shaking your head.

“Zuko, I think I’m sick. Don’t risk it.”

“Are you sure?” He said, eyes saddened, an irresistible pout on his face.

As if on cue, you sneezed. Not once, not twice but three times in a row, only slightly quieted by your sleeve. Your husband stared in shock, before snapping out of his trance and making his way to the medicine cabinet, passing you a pill for the common cold, mumbling things incoherently all the while. Whilst you took it, he gave suki, toph and katara some clothes you kept for sleepovers with your friends, he always loved your over the top preparations. Then, back to the room he went. He helped you under the soft, warm covers, pulling up the blankets to engulf your shaking body. Definitely a cold. Zuko’s hand was placed against your forehead, warm to the touch. Definitely a cold. Then he got the thermometer, it read 37 degrees Celsius. Yeah, definitely a cold. He sighed, shutting the lights as he left the room to let you rest, check in on the other couples + Toph in the guest bedrooms. Checking up on you again, he realised you fell asleep. Zuko neared your side of the bed cautiously, careful not to disturb your sleeping form. Gently, your lover neared his face to yours, planting an ever so gentle peck on your forehead, before moving back, standing up straight again. He sighed as he walked to the kitchen, already using his mobile phone to research different soup recipes, attempting to find one that actually seemed appetising.

The boy ended up settling on a classic, and began his cooking endeavour. Sure, he wasn’t the best at it, but the effort was there. As the mixture brewed, he moved on to making a drink. Hot chocolate. The brown mixture was being stirred by the spoon as he added sugar, before topping it with three marshmallows, soft and squishy - much like how he was acting, soft and- well maybe not squishy. Moving on from the beverage, he used a ladle to scoop some of the soup into a bowl, then put the bowl onto a tray, beside the drink. He texted the group chat to let the other boys know to grab some soup for the sick if they wanted, before shutting his phone. His sole attention needed to be on you and you only. He took off his home slippers, the cheap ones you bought him as a joke - but he’d grown to love, and stepped into the room, socked feet barely making a single noise. He carefully slotted the tray on his bedside table, and slowly got into the bed, staring at you all the while. Zuko’s arm carefully stroked your covered arms, his feather light touch calling you out of your sweet dreams and into your very lightheaded reality. You groaned, shaking a bit after gaining consciousness.

“Hey love, I made you some soup.” you turned over, Zuko’s eyes staring lovingly at you. 

You smiled, slowly sitting up so you could consume it. As you reached for the spoon, he pulled it back, looking at you with an eyebrow raised. “I don’t even want you to move a muscle.” you rolled your eyes, and he fed you a spoon full of the soup, the flavours actually quite nice to the taste.

“Hm, where’d you get this?”

“Why? You don't like it?”

“No, the opposite actually,” you laughed dryly, your throat hoarse.

“Oh” he blushed a little, “I made it.”

“You’ve improved!” you giggled, “They grow up so fast!” you wiped a mock tear from your eye.

He swatted your hand away from your face, a fake angry look on his face, “No moving,”

Although, nothing could disguise the blush from the compliments. He was always a sucker for your affection. Could you blame him though?

Zuko slotted the spoon of broth into your mouth again, the hot liquid running down your throat, helping to warm it momentarily. He then leaned back, passing you the cup of hot chocolate, which he had fit into your favourite cup warmer. Your hands gently brushed his as you took the drink, a grateful smile on your features, one that warmed his nerve wrecked heart. He couldn’t help but smile back.

“Mmm,” you mumbled into the mug, “It’s so good, thank you,”

He hummed in acknowledgment, placing the half finished soup aside after you signalled you don’t want any more, before going back to his original criss-cross sitting style. He watched you gulp the drink down intently.

“Careful, it’s hot.” his voice rang as you took the final sip of the concoction. 

“You’re hot,” you replied, lowering the cup from your face. 

He chuckled, hiding his bashfulness with his hands, “Shut up,”

Collecting the mug from your hands, the boy popped it onto the tray on the bedside table, turning his attention back to you. A sigh left his lips as he checked your temperature, you sniffling in the process. You grabbed his hand off of your forehead, lowering it to your cheek, and pressing a gentle kiss into it. 

“I’m fine Zuko, it’s just a cold,”

“Luckily. Could've been worse.”

“And how so?”

“I- uh,” he paused, “I don’t know. Just could’ve,”

“We’ll, it wasn’t. I’m here, I’m safe, and I’m with you. Nothing to worry about sweetie,” 

He shrugged, anything could happen after all. 

You cupped his cheeks, your cold hands causing him to scrunch his nose. You giggled at your husband’s reaction, kissing the top of his head lovingly. He stared at you with wide, adoring eyes, and you tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear. 

“Thank you zuko,” you whispered to him, a grin on your face.

He tilted his head sideways, thank you for what? You understood the implication of the motion.

“For taking care of me,”

“It’s the bare minimum.”

You laughed, “it’s still sweet”

He mumbled something against your palms, something about your standards being weirdly low, before kissing your hand - an act of physical love he learned from you. 

Slowly, zuko removed your arms from his face and laid you down again, pulling the blanket over your body once again. Your fever had gone down drastically now that you’ve eaten and had something warm for your throat. But you were still severely dehydrated. He pointed to the drink next to you - water obviously - and said the following: “If you get thirsty, please drink, it’s right there.”

And you nodded happily, eyes already droopy. A yawn left your mouth as you rolled over, going from a position on your back to a position facing him - on your side. You watched him through half lidded eyes get up and change out of the clothes he was in, in favor of putting on fresh pj’s. He rolled his eyes playfully as he noticed your stare, leaving the room as he tugged the shirt over his head. 

The man’s socked feet made a pitter patter type noise as he traversed the hall which housed the rooms your friends were staying in, making sure they were cozy and situated, and alerting them of the different toiletries and essentials you had stocked for this occasion. He gave the men some of his spare pajamas, before leaving to head back to you, a good night leaving his lips as he does. He yawned as he entered the room again, slipping under the sheets next to you. Zuko watched your chest rise and fall with each breath, reminding himself that you were here, and you were safe. Though, he couldn’t sleep. Not one bit. His body was tired, but sleep wasn’t coming to him. For the simple reason that you weren’t by his side, snuggled up against him. He knew you would yell at him if he cuddled up with you, he would get sick after all. But what’s a little cold gonna do? Careful not to wake you up, he scooted closer, wrapping an arm around you. Your body gladly accepted the invitation, spreading your arms over his waist, and your head onto his shoulder. Content, he sighed, a smile playing on his lips, knowing this is the calm before the storm - the storm being the lecture he was bound to hear first thing in the morning. ‘Zuko you could’ve gotten sick!’ He laughed at the thought, your angry face being far too cute for anyone to ever be threatened. His thoughts wandered, mostly circulating around you, before his eyes fell heavy, and his breathing got deeper, his mind lulling into a soft, sleepy trance.

An: lol

[hoonhrt]

ENHYPEN WHEN THEY’RE SICK

: pairing — sick boyfriend! enhypen x reader

: genre — so soft :( (maybe angsty??)

: warnings —  mentions of vomiting and being ill 

: a/n — i started school again after my break so i’ve been so caught up trying to focus on it :(

･:*:･ﾟ☆ heeseung

he’d be coughing and sniffling the night before and when you ask him he is feeling sick he’d very dramatically say:

“absolutely not! i have like the strongest immune system ever baby i cant believe you’d question MY immune system”

he woke up the next morning with a full blown fever.

HED BE SO WHINY :((

wants you to lay next to you all day long csuse he claims you are his “human furnace”

croaks from your shared bedroom when you get up to get medicine and some hot soup

only agrees to take the medicine if you feed him

once he does take the medicine, he sits there with his mouth open so you can feed him his food

you just stare at him the whole time like 😐😐 am i taking care of my boyfriend or a child 😐😐

he’s staring at you like 🥺🥺🥺 cause he’s so thankful to have you in his life

he squirms into your arms and hides his face in the crook of your neck, already feeling better as you play with his hair

leaves little kisses on your neck as his way to thank you for taking care of him

･:*:･ﾟ☆ jay

tries to convince you he is okay #1

“no angel! i’m okay it’s nothing okay i’m fine psshhh no worries”

doesn’t work as you woke up from his loud coughs in the middle of the night :(

he is very stubborn and continues you to insist that he is okay and that he can take care of himself (he just doesn’t wanna burden you)

everytime you say you’re gonna go do something for him he tries to protest saying he is fine but than starts coughing up a storm

spends the whole day with a pout on his face cause he doesn’t want you to waste your day taking care of him

sucks to be him tho cause you’ll do anything for mr. jay park!

i remember someone said that when jay is feeling ill, his emotions tend to exaggerate

like he’ll feel pain in his throat but will claim his entire body hurts and he cannot move a muscle... (it’s okay it’s just the sickness getting to him)

all he wants to do is cuddle next to you and sleep

like he’ll ask for massages or even random things like piece of cake from the bakery downstairs and you go do it cause your poor boy is feeling down and you wanna see him happy :((

pays you back by buying you new things and spending all that lost time doing anything you want to do (even if it means watching a movie he despises)

･:*:･ﾟ☆ jake

NAAAUUURRR i’m gonna cry just thinking about sick little jake

his eyes are wide and glossy the whole time and his lips are pursed out into a little pout

baby hates being sick cause then he can’t go out and do fun things with you!

DEMENDS cuddles and kisses.

like i think he’ll cry if you leave his side

even if it’s for his own benefit, he clings to you like a little koala

lowkey a little dramatic, acts like his dying

“baby i think this is my last day... pls tell layla i love her” and you’re like What About Me.

you pour him the liquid medicine on to a spoon and give it to him yourself

gets so giddy and smiles at you like a goof afterwards

you bring the back of your palm to his forehead and go “you’re so hot omg”,,, he proceeds to say “i know i am babe you don’t have to tell me twice 😏” BOOYYY

treats you like a little teddy bear and holds you super super close to his body!!

pays you back by taking care of you the later week when you’re sick

･:*:･ﾟ☆ sunghoon

the only one actually capable of taking care of himself 

he just seems very normal when he is sick 

like he can definitely be on his own 

lowkey doesn’t want you around so you dont get sick 

but you are very stubborn and you stay there to take care of him 

which he appreciates cause he likes being coddled a little bit hehe 

it honestly just feels like a regular, stay at home day with him aside from the fact he is violently coughs every 30 minuets next to you 

the only thing he wants from you is that you let him lay on your lap and you play with his hair 

which you do ofc and he is just simply so happy from that 

falls asleep in your lap cause its so therapeutic

“mmmm feel so nice honey” he slurs very sleepily 

nuzzles his face into your stomach, searching for warmth :((( 

you press little kisses around his face while he sleeps and he starts to blush but you can’t tell cause you think its just his face burning up from being sick (thank god it would’ve embarrassed him so bad if you found out it was from little kisses)    

brings you flowers and gives you endless amount of cuddles as his way to thank you :(( 

･:*:･ﾟ☆ sunoo

boyfriend or child you can’t tell #2

will WHINE SO LOUD if you try to leave his side 

“Y/NNNNN NOOOOO you can’t go~ its so cold~ im gonna freeze to death if you go~” “sunoo i need to get you medici-” “NOOOOOOO” 

REFUSES to take his medicine 

will turn his head the other way with a pout on his face and stubbornly shake his head 

you have to pursued him with food and kisses in order for him to actually take it 

takes the medicine but gags while taking it 

“wheres my cuddles huh 😐” 

so so so clingy :( he is pretty much on your entire lap with his head laid across your shoulder and his arms wrapped around your neck 

sunoo wouldn’t be very sleepy but he would be very quiet (which makes you sad cause youre sunny is always so talkative), so he spends this time listening to you and all the things you wanna talk about 

you guys watch movies together the whole day 

wants you to leave kisses on his cheeks cause it makes him feel better 

he pouts at you while you laugh at him when you feed him snacks 

buys you all the snacks you could dream of when he is feeling better <33 

･:*:･ﾟ☆ jungwon 

tries to convince you he is fine #2

but wakes you up in the middle of night cause he threw up :(( 

he gets teary eyed cause he doesn’t wanna burden you but at the same time it hurts so bad 

whimpers so much :(( 

he wants to be held so much, he is attached to you the entire time 

you wipe his face with cold towels to bring down his high body temperature down and push back his bangs with so much care and love 

“thank you y/n” he speaks so softly before letting out a huge sniffle 

jungwon falls in love with you so much more

like he didnt think he could but some how you have managed to make him fall in love with you again 

really likes it when you pet his head and massage his temples 

he clings to you so much that he just follows you around like a little puppy 

you guys watch romance movies together to distract him from the pain 

will never give you a hard time like if you ask him to sit up and drink his water or take his medicine he’ll do it right away no questions asked 

mainly cause he wants to get better quickly so he can spend more time with you doing more interesting things 

thanks you by taking on a cute little picnic date the week after :( 

･:*:･ﾟ☆ ni-ki

sleep. all he will do is sleep. 

he doesnt care about anything else except for that fact that he wants to sleep 

sprawls his entire body on top of yours 

he literally traps your body so you cant get out 

you have to physically push him off of you which isnt a problem cause he is in such a deep sleep 

and when he wakes up and you ARENT by his side, he gets very whiny 

“Y/NNNN why’d you leave me ☹️” 

very grumpy 

you laugh at this which makes him even more grumpy 

how cute 

ni-ki is honestly very frustrated that 1) he can’t go to practice and dance with his cheery personality and 2) he can’t kiss you!!!! (this is what is the most important to him) 

so he just whines all day 

whines when you tell him you have to take medicine 

whines when you try to get him to sit up and eat 

whines when you aren’t cuddling him 

so pls cuddle the poor boy <//3 

LOVES BACK RUBS 

your cool hand against his warm back makes him sigh out loud 

pays you back be giving you endless hugs, kisses and letting you win in games <//3 

[mxchellesworld]

Discuss!

Spencer Reid x Reader

Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out

Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation 

a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!

***

Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks. 

Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything. 

Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives. 

Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter. 

You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night. 

“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice. 

Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space. 

“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself. 

“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid. 

“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly. 

The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation. 

“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side. 

He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks. 

“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes. 

“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows. 

“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes. 

You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things. 

That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen. 

You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile. 

Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?” 

Got him.

“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks. 

As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder. 

For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions. 

The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two. 

You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings. 

“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out. 

As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt. 

You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out. 

Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?” 

“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles. 

The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 

You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles. 

“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you. 

“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?” 

“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod. 

As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-

“Y/n?” 

The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?” 

His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips. 

“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks. 

“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch. 

You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night. 

As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain. 

You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”

Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out. 

“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted. 

“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours. 

“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.” 

His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours. 

“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.” 

The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred. 

You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump. 

“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”

“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears. 

Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum. 

“Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines. 

“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs. 

“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length. 

“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point. 

The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further. 

You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure. 

You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”

He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again. 

For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget. 

Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes. 

You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off. 

“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”

“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out. 

“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,”  you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all. 

Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came. 

“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”

His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever. 

You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go. 

The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon. 

Then a sad look came across his face. 

“Spencer what’s wrong?” 

“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy. 

“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.

He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs. 

“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.” 

[cursedsunoo]

im so sorry i got so confused the FLUFF alphabet for taehyun

♡ KANG TAEHYUN FLUFF ALPHABET ♡

A = admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

♡ he adores your smile — watching you turn your head to look at him while you beam at him, or when you offer small smiles when he compliments you, he lives for those moments and the sights that come with them

B = body (what is their favourite part of your body?)

♡ taehyun's favourite part of your body has to be your nose — he just thinks it's adorable when you scrunch it up, and he can't stop himself from tapping it whenever he has the chance to

C = cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

♡ he loves when you lay your head on his chest or the other way around — he just likes to be physically close to you

D = dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

♡ lazy dates with you are his favourite — at-home movie nights, just hours spent in bed talking to each other — not to say that he doesn't like public dates though (if publics dates, then more often than not you'll find yourself at a table in a small cafe)

E = emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

♡ he kinda bottles up his emotions unless you go out of your way to ask him about them — he doesn't want to dump his emotions onto you, but if you offer your help or tell him it's okay to be emotional around you, then he'll do so

F = family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

♡ yes and no — he's really on the fence about children, but he's down for a shared pet whenever. if i were to say when or if he'd settle down with a child, i'd have to say his late twenties or very early thirties

G = gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? what are their habits when it comes to this?)

♡ he's not the best gift-giver in general, but when it comes time to birthdays or christmas (if you celebrate it) taehyun knows exactly what you want — he's a very good listener

H = holding hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

♡ he's down to hold hands whenever — taehyun regularly brings his hands to yours during dinners out or if the two of you are laying down (he finds ways to hold your hands in the quietest and most calm situations

I = injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

♡ he's actually pretty calm when you get hurt — he puts on a brave face for you since he doesn't want to stress you out more then you already are (he also always has some form of bandages or ointment on him in case anyone he cares about gets hurt)

J = jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

♡ he has his smartass moments with you, but taehyun isn't a big jokester by himself — if he's with one of the guys (cough cough bemogyu or hueningkai) then you can expect him to become creative

K = kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

♡ he's really into short and sweet kisses in general — he likes to be able to simply lean in and peck your lips quickly without there being too much thought or passion behind it (he's also a little shy about any other types of kisses)

L = love (how do they show you they love you?)

♡ taehyun does this thing that whenever you're not looking at him or simply if you're talking to someone else, he'll stare at you with these literal heart eyes for everyone to see — while he's not the most vocal about his love, it's obvious to everyone around him that he's head over heals for you

M = memory (favourite memory together?)

♡ there was a day that taehyun had taken away from his schedule and planned a day entirely for the two of you — i'm talking the two of you going to a bunch of shops, dining in a nice restaurant, and walking around at night (there was this one band playing on the street and taehyun had pulled you to dance with him)

N = nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

♡ hurting you in anyway — even if it's accidentally when the two of you are goofing around, taehyun doesn't want to hurt you in anyway (he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did)

O = oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

♡ when he laughs, he looks to you usually to see if you're laughing as well — taehyun wants you to be able to laugh and have fun at the same time he is (he bases his emotions around your own quite a bit)

P = pet names (what do they like to call you?)

♡ taehyun isn't the most involved with pet names, so he doesn't have many things that he calls you — if you have a longer name, he just shortens it, but if you have a shorter name, he may find a way to make it longer/into a nickname

Q = quality time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

♡ spending time with taehyun is either action packed or the most action packed thing ever, it really depends on his mood for the day, as well as how you're feeling — taehyun likes being out and about for most dates, say at a diner, an amusement park, or simply the movies

R = rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

♡ old school — urban cone (it's such a good song, listen to it)

S = secrets (how open are they with you?)

♡ he could be a lot more open but he's not hiding anything that could harm your relationship — taehyun loves his privacy so it's not really a wonder as to why he doesn't tell you absolutely everything

T = time (how long did it take you to get together?)

♡ getting together with taehyun would take a hella long time — taehyun would dance around his feelings and or feel as if you weren't into him (even if it was blatantly obvious that you were into him) — he gets overwhelmed by his emotions easily so he tries to back out of things (including confessing to you)

U = upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

♡ taehyun isn't the best at comforting you, but he tries his best — his words may be fumbles, and his movements may be hesitant, but he offers an unjudging ear and a shoulder you can lean on without care

V = vaunt (what are they proud of? do they like to show you off?)

♡ like i had said before, taehyun values his privacy, both his own personal privacy, and his relationship privacy — he doesn't show you off to random people, but the boys could write an entire essay on how whipped taehyun is for you within minutes with how much info they have

W = warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

♡ he doesn't condone fighting so he would pull you away from a fight if something ever broke out, but if someone were to lay their hands on you, he wouldn't hesitate to step in to stop it

X = x-ray (how well are they able to read you?)

♡ normally, taehyun is really good at reading you, but if you're in a sad or even angry mood, taehyun finds it extremely difficult to tell where you are on the scale and what exactly could be causing you grief

Y = yes (how would they propose to you?)

♡ it's a very chill proposal — i'm imagining the two of you are out and about and you sit down on a bench for a short break, one minute he's sitting normally and the next he's holding out a box for you to open. only when you open that box and gasp is when he'll drop down to a knee

Z = zen (what makes them feel calm?)

♡ laying in the dark with you — with no noisy group members around, no obnoxious blue lights, and close to zero sounds in the room, taehyun finds peace with his head tucked into the top of your own

© cursedsunoo — all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, or repost my work without my explicit permission

[spikesbimbo]

Drunk in Love

Summary:  Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.

Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader

Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex

Word count: 7.2k

A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel

18+ Minors DNI

You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.  

“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory

“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.

This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.

You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.

Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.

And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)

But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.

Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.

He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.

“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.

You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.

“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.

  “Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.

  “I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.  

   Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.

   “When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.

  Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter

  “Fuck.” He muttered

  “Any’all got a light?”

  No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.

  “Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.

  “K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.

  You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.

  And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.

You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.

You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.

 You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).

You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.

  Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.

  “What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.

  “Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.

  “Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.

  “You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.

  “Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.

    You started to “walk” towards your house resting  your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.

  “I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.

 “Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned  blowing out the smoke out with his words.

You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.

"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.

“C’you make me a house?” He asks.

You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.

 “Thanks doll” He smirks.

“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.

He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.

His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.

“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.

“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.

  “s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.

You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.

“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.

He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.

When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.

He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.

“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.

“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.

He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.

Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.

 “Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.  

Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.

 He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.

You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”

You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.  

You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.

  You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.

“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.

But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do.  He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.

“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”

“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?

“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.

He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.

“Just you, in general…”  You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.

But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.

  "I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated

  Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.

  He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.  

You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.

But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.

  Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?

  You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.

  “y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.

You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.

Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.

I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters

    “You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.  

  “You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”

  “Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.

  "I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them.  I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of  before I go to sleep at night."

  You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?

  He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”

He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.

“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.  

He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.

 He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”

“yeah” You start.

“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?

“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.

His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.

“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”

 You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs

“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.

“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.

Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa

Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.

“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.

His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it.  You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.

Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles

“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.

“So are you.”

He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.

  You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body.  You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.

“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.

“I got it that day you faked sick”

“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.

He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.

This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.

“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.

“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.

“You still with that other girl?”

“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”

“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”

“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.

“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.

“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.

But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.

“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.

“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.

“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.

“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”

“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.

“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.

“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”

He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.

“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.

He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”

He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.

“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.

 Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?

“M’always wet.” you responded.

From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.

“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.

You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.

“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.

“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.

“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.

“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.

He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.

He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.

The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”

His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.

“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused.  He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body. 

“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.

  Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.

“Shh, just look at me, doll.”

You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.

He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.

“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.

Shawty, your body is so exciting

Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.

He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”

But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.

It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.

 “Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.

“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.

“Look how good you take it.”  

“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.

“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.

  He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears.  He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.

  Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more. 

You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.

His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.

You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”

You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.

“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.

“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.

You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.

Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.

He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.

“Yeah…fuck baby”

I love when you get on top and you ride it

You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.

“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.

“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.

“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.

“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.

He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.

His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.

The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.

“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.

You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.

He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.

“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.

“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy.  Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.

“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.

“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.

“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.

“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.

“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.

“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.

 “Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”

You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.

“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.

He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.

  “Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.

  “Shh baby im right here.”

  He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.

  “It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.

“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you ���good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.

  He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.

 “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.

“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.

“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.

  “Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.

  “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.

  “I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.

“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.

“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.

  “Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”

© all content belongs to spikesbimbo. do not alter or repost .

[soupbabe]

Stardust Crusaders w a Chubby s/o!

Gender neutral reader babey!! Also added Iggy (platonic) to replace Old Joseph because the most I got was sugar daddy Joseph. He has that Speedwagon Foundation money, that's it.

Also this really do be showing who my favorites are out of them skdndkkd

~ Jotaro Kujo ~

He doesn't care what you look like, but that doesn't stop him from checking you out occasionally. You look different compared to a lot of students he's seen at his school and he highkey low-key likes what he's seeing

Looks just aren't that important to Jotaro in my opinion, he knows what it feels like to be given unwanted attention or people only wanting him just for his looks and nothing else. Why would he act the same way to you?

That being said, if you are in a relationship with him he's surprisingly sweet.

When y'all are alone he likes to give you little complements while you're cuddled up beside him or on top of him, playing with his hair.

Not the biggest on pda because he knows that the rest of the group *cough cough* Joseph and Polnareff *cough cough* would tease him to hell and back, but sometimes Star Platinum would be sneaky and give you surprise hugs from the back while he rubs his cheek against your chubby ones

It never fails to make you let out a little chuckle and you kiss him on the cheek to show appreciation to both Joot and Star <3

I fully believe that his favorite part of your body are your big arms. Like they're so soft omg and when the group can rest for a bit he likes to rest his head on them and silently enjoy how soft they are

You like to tease him about how soft he can be and you'll get one out of three reactions: Him pulling his hat down to hide a flustered Jotaro, a playful (but still scaring looking) glare, or a flick to the forehead

~ Noriaki Kakyoin ~

I feel like he wouldn't be too shy about his attraction to you, complimenting you at random times but it wouldn't be overbearing. It's mostly just to see how cute your face looks when your face heats up and you try to quicky push away the flustered feelings

How couldn't he not find you attractive? I like to think that he's a huge art nerd and your figure reminds him of those people in paintings who radiated beauty and gracefulness

Uh yea doesn't matter if you literally go feral in fighting, that's all that comes to his mind when he sees you sjsnsjsk

Somewhat shy when it comes to pda, but he is touched starved so he'll always link his slim fingers with your soft and chubby ones while you guys travel

Loves to lay his head on your fluffy stomach, twirl his lil hair noodle and he'll fall asleep within 5 minutes

This is a very good thing to exploit when he's up late playing on his Game Boy that sneaked in while preparing for the trip to Egypt

Just fuckin uh y a n k him into cuddle time and he'd probably won't complain too much. You're warm and it's very nice.

His favorite body part is your thick thighs, he likes to lay between them while he plays his game. You're his favorite gaming chair technically.

Eh don't worry though he gives lil celebratory kisses to them everytime he wins a game

~ Jean-Pierre Polnareff ~

Absolutely adores plus sized bodies! There's more to love and hold onto, you know?

Your biggest supporter, supplier of confidence, and the booster of your ego

"Oh Mon cheri/Ma Cherie! You look so amazing in those new clothes! Your curves look wonderful as always!~"

He's beefy as all hell and he will lift you up. Literally doesn't matter how heavy you think you are you are getting treated like royalty

Squeezes your soft frame like a teddy bear sometimes.

Enjoys pda, but like it's mostly having his arm around your squishy waist and if you aren't comfortable with it he'll respect it 1000%!

Will absolutely show you off to anyone and everyone! He almost got decked by Star once for annoying Jotaro because he kept going on and on about you and you just laughed at it

Enjoys having you lay on top of him, ngl it's like his own weighted blanket and you get to be able to bury your face in his big bara tiddies

He likes to touch you a lot and enjoys holding you close at night. I just think it's because he wants to double check to see if you're actually real. He's lost a lot of loved ones and has been learning to cherish them more before they're gone and having you here with him and staying for as long as you have makes him fear that he'll lose you for a tiny bit so he takes any opportunity to get to be with you.

I think he'd just admire your stretch marks! It makes you unique and he loves the way you laugh when he places lil smooches all over them

~ Muhammad Avdol~

Absolute sweetheart the love I have for this man is immeasurable ajdjsksjsn he's so gentle with you it doesn't matter how you look he would love you regardless your size

He seems like a man who is proud of his knowledge and appreciation of other cultures, his favorite thing is to feed you his favorite foods, watching your eyes light up while he tells you interesting facts about how they make it and where it comes from

Really not one to go wild on pda, hand holding or draping an arm around you around you to keep you close is what he's comfortable with

He seems like he'd know how to bake omg he'd absolutely lose it if you baked with him because he can just sneak up behind you, wrap his arms around your tummy, while just acting like the close proximity between your faces isn't making your face show visible signs of your mind going 'y/n.exe has stopped working'

His robe is absolutely huge on you and it's your favorite blanket when the group has to sleep in the desert.

I can imagine it smelling so nice like what comes to mind is white sage?? Anyways, his coat is definitely a comfort item you wear on those days where you do feel a bit insecure. It's big, soft, and smells like the man that brings you the most comfort.

His chickens adore you so much!! Literally they would have to or else Muhammad would not be in a relationship with you lmao, he believes they have good judgement and they're like his kids.

They love to be by your side and they love to be in your lap, you're just so soft it's like heaven to them

Yea his favorite body part is your plush tummy! He just finds it cute and it's his favorite thing to either rest his head on or grab onto while cuddling! If you wear a crop top (or shirtless if you're a masc person and crop tops aren't your thing :) ) and his face just burns up omg you're so handsome/beautiful how did he ever get so lucky

~Iggy (Platonic. Of course.)~

(IM SO SORRY BUT I'M LAUGHING AT THIS PICTURE SO MUCHS SKSHSKNSKSKS)

You're his owner, the only one who can pet and dote on him like the little feral baby he is <3

He lets you take a piece of his coffee gum and occasionally steals treats for the both of you to share sometimes

Although the majority of it goes to Iggy because it's all covered in dog drool

When it's car ride time he loves to lay in your lap or sometimes he forces has you carry him around because he enjoys being able to relax in your big arms

If people start staring at you inappropriately, including any of the Crusaders, expect them to get barked and growled at

If anyone decides to make rude comments surrounding your weight, enemy or not, they're getting their hair ripped out and their left shoe shit in <3

You make sure to buy him extra gum and call him a good boy

He's like your furry little bodyguard, if anyone does or talks some shit, they're going to get hit

[sningo-prompts]

Okay, okay hold on a sec. Think about it. Ingo getting captured by poachers would mean that he will be forced to eat out of a bowl. If he's lucky. Maybe they'll pour his food straight on the floor. And he is so hungry and getting weaker, so he needs to eat. Also haa to lick his water up every day. Ingo getting captured would break this man and I'm here for every second of it. Emmet is going to straight up murder them all.

Ok this took a moment. Had to get myself in the right head space for something like this. I hope i dont disappoint too much.

WARNING

I uhhh got carried a little away with the set up. And CURSING LOTS OF CURSING THREATS OF VIOLENCE ok making sure yall see that am i sorry for what i did Not really. It could have been worse tbh. I had a bit planned for Emmet in here but im lazy. Its 23:55 ok

They dont capture Ingo in a ball because they assume Emmet is his trainer. So they dont even try. Instead the ruffly toss him into a very small cage. Oh Now see this is why Ingo doesnt like cages. He keeps getting thrown into them. Which hurts. His scruff is so very sore. Arceus he hates being picked up by his scruff. His cage is probably around crate size. He can stand up in it and move around but its just barely too big for his to touch each side with his claws if he stood in the middle. Its cold and metal.

So Ingo tossed into a cage. He hardly has time to think before the talking starts. “Man that Emmet fucker put up one hell of a fight for this thing” “At least that dumb bitch gave us an opening.” laughter “hey give the brat some credit! Without her we wouldnt have gotten anywhere near the thing!” Great Ingo has been called a thing twice now. One of them is walking up to his cage. Which is on the floor so all Ingo can see are shins. They man bends down, a taking his cigar out of his mouth he blows the smoke into Ingos face. Of course he has a coughing fit. “Well now you be good for us and make us lots of money”. Ingo just glares at the man. From across the room one of the others pipes up “hey now dont damage this one! You know that it will sell better if its un damaged!” Signing the man puts his cigar back in his mouth and stands up “yeah yeah i know. Even if the little bastard is giving me the stink eye i wont break this one” they laugh again. Ingo though hes full panic. “Damage? Break?” Oh oh whats gonna happen to him.

Its a few hours later after the men have finished playing some sort of gambling game. The same man comes back. He has two bowls. He bends down to look Ingo in the eyes “now listen here you little shit. Im going to open the top of this here cage and you are gonna sit right there and not fucking move a single mussel. And if you even look like you plan to escape or attack me ill break for fucking legs you got it.” Ingo.exe has stopped responding. “Good” now hes opening the top Ingo doesnt dare move. The man sets in a water dish and a food bowl. Ingo feels sick. The cheapest pokemon food on the market is poured into the food dish. At least the water comes strait from a bottle. The man is reaching for Ingo oh its happening oh hes gonna get hurt oh no no. Ingo flenches away and closes his eyes bracing for the worst. The man chuckles and pets his head. “Glad to see we understand each other” once the hand is gone from Ingos face he dares to open his eyes. Just as the man closes the cage top. He doesnt dare move till the man fully leaves the room. Ok he can panic now. Hes clutching his chest. Oh hes crying. He wants to go home. Hes cold and hungry and scared. Emmet where are you please Emmet help me. He stays like that for who knows how long. Well i know its like four hours. Aka four am.

Hes done crying. Eyes long since dried up. But hes still just sitting there in the corner of his cage curled up knees to chest. Its his stomach that actually snaps him back. Hes hungry, having not eaten since breakfast the day before all this happened. He eyes the food. Hes not that hungry. He goes to sleep.

Hes awaken later by the door to the room opening. Its the man again. The only light in the room is from above. He has no idea what time it is. Its one pm. The man is doing something by the table. He hears something that sounds like gravel in a plastic cup. Oh no the man hes coming over to him. Ingo gets as far away from the “front” of the cage. Its just got a solid top and bottom rest is bared. She man kneels down again. Hes looking what feels like right into Ingos soul. How terrifying. The mans eyes move to the food and water. Ingos own gaze follows. “Tsk” Ingo snaps back to the man. Oh he doesnt look pleased. He looks angry. “Now see here you little shit. I wont have you starving to death before we sell you. You WILL eat.” Ingo just starts shaking again. This is it the mans gonna hurt him. The man opens the top Ingo once again braces for the worst. Only to open his eyes once he hears plastic sliding across metal. The man has moved the bowl to infront of Ingo. “Now eat.” … Ingo slowly with one trembling arm reaches out towards the bowl. He picks up a piece and slowly puts it in his mouth. Its bland and he hates the texture.

[dreamteamspace]

Dream in manhunts VS on the Dream SMP

Love how Dream’s character on the SMP reflects the way he is in manhunts, too.

Especially at the beginning, during a lot of cut away parts and when the hunters are trying to scare him from afar, his responses are absentminded, unsure, often either obviously lies, give no information, or even awkward. They ask him where he is, and he goes “I’m.... uhh.... nowhere”.

Sometimes he will already have a plan in mind as to how exactly he wants to trick them (In his analysis video he shows that he already made a plan in his head where he wanted them to think he went for the trees of a specific nearby forest, to trick them into approaching the pillager tower, and it worked), his response is surprisingly well acted and emotional. He knows when to say things and how.

He has a plan almost at all times. In his most recent analysis video he stops at one moment to say that he was terrified because this was one of the FEW times where he did not have a plan. Meaning he has a plan practically all other times, and it shows.

He sometimes does vaguely celebrate his small victories, small steps in his execution of the plan, making the hunters confusedly ask what it is, and he never says. Sometimes he stalls his plans until almost the very end, giving no mention of them and no indication that he has them at all.

And then, when the moment is nigh... The plan is executed.

His acting and baiting gets better the closer he gets, like when he was luring the hunters to go underneath the tree with the tnt minecart. He’s fully focused, even acting along well enough to fool them, to lure him right into his trap.

Then comes the execution, and then he explodes into emotion.

It’s really satisfying to see his plans work out, because we clearly saw him working on it step by step, saw him hide it and cover it and gather items and look around and scout the areas. But once he wins that part? He gets loud, and victorious, he yells and celebrates his victory that he worked so hard for and executed with precision, gaining him the upper hand or even winning him the game.

Another example is in one video where he went to the other stronghold because the hunters covered it in obsidian. He’s quiet up until he finds the last pearl, and when the portal activates, he’s YELLING about what he did, relieved and victorious about his plan working. I’m sure this is where some people may even not like his reactions, because they can seem cocky and overconfident (*cough cough* I think they’re actually really fun to watch because he DID just pull off some really good shit *cough*)

Cut to the Dream SMP.

All this makes him the PERFECT evil strategizing war leader.

We all joke about his acting, especially improv. He can sometimes stumble over his words and will almost always nervously fidget/move/do something, even when his roleplaying is better (see Dream moving back and forth while talking to Eret some time before dethroning him, telling him that only the sword and shield give him power).

When he has a plan however, like again, with Eret, his roleplaying greatly improves. We see that this is all heading somewhere, and that he has a plan in mind, and he knows how to nudge things in that direction, and the other person mostly just has to play along.

During the 16th, when 20 people in full enchanted netherite watch Schlatt die of a heart attack (lol), it feels... anticlimactic. Again, Dream kindof seems unsure of his roleplay. He says they surrender. He leads them to schlatt. He says Schlatt is an idiot, and that this is all he is. He shows them to him. And then...

While they’re dealing with the emotions, he and his allies quietly leave, without anybody from L’Manburg noticing.

He sits far at the back as the watches Tommy’s speech, and then Wilbur’s speech, and then Tubbo’s. When asked to comment, he just says he bows to nobody. He doesn’t seem very interested in what’s going on.

Wilbur excuses himself and leaves.

When the tnt blows up - and there’s a pretty good clip of it from tommys perspective that showcases it perfectly that Im sure Ive reblogged not too long ago - we hear him explode in the background.

We hear him laugh loudly and evilly, he yells “YEEES!” As L’Manburg blows to smithereens, and it all becomes perfectly clear: This was the plan all along.

Wilbur was the traitor. Wilbur would blow up L’Manburg no matter what happens. And Dream was waiting for this, biding his time, keeping his allies out of L’Manburg once they’d won, seeming desinterested. He was waiting, the entire time, and when the plan finally works, he celebrates as it all blows to smithereens.

Okay, sure, his acting could be better at times, even taking all this into account. But honestly, it’s good when it matters, and we all love the green blob anyway. (At least I very much do).

This was really well executed, and having such a long con plan is definitly right up Dream’s alley, which is why his character winning this way was a really good decision. Their characters on the Dream SMP are close to their real life counterparts, and it was just... it was beautiful. He planned this for weeks. He laid low. They laughed at his acting, but he got the last laugh in the end.

Another thing to add is how he can barely be betrayed because... he only mostly works alone. Sure, people like Punz are certainly close enough to know his plans, but how would a traitor arc even work when even character!Dream didn’t trust Sapnap with it?

Dream turned on Sapnap during one of the pet wars, to gain Tommy’s trust, to gain Wilbur’s trust, to set all of this up. He didn’t like it maybe, but he did it anyway. Even Sapnap, such a core member of the Dream SMP, wasn’t close enough to Dream.

Character!Dream, interestingly enough, acts similar to how he does in manhunts: Like he’s alone.

Like he’s the only person he can trust, and in order to win, he has to eliminate ALL of the competition. He has to have the upper hand over EVERYONE.

Maybe that’s why he’s not interested in becoming king, either. He doesn’t feel like a king.

He’s not the king on the chess board - he’s the person behind moving the pieces around.

[tastyykpop]

nct dating headcannons!

I only did 127 because there's so many but ill do the others if anyone requests it :)

ɴᴄᴛ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

Taeil

Mr. Moon Taeil is the definition of a cuddly boyfriend

Hes always holding your hand or kissing your cheek

Definitely gets shy when the members are around but in public youre all his

Hes super sincere about anything too but also knows how to joke around

I mean have you seen him with nct

Hes funny❗❗

Like he's gonna make you laugh no matter what

And those deep convos yall would have at night while cuddling>>>

"What if we were put on earth by aliens as an experiment to see if we would live and everytime we see ufos its just our cousins checking up on us"

Eyes wide open, "bro"

Taeils either the big or small spoon too

There's no in between

Also the biggest baby when yall are chilling

"I call small spoon!"

"But you were the small spoon last night"

"K and what about it"

10/10 would complain if you didn't want to sit with him and watch a movie or show

Would probably guilt trip you by saying you never watch something with him

Hes a sweet manipulator...

But he could easily replace you with one of the members

Like sicheng

Taeil will always ask if you've eaten

If you haven't eaten he gets big sad

Don't make him sad

Plus hes always checking on your health

And he'll know if your lying if you say you're doing fine when you're not

Also don't lie in general cuz he doesn't like that

That would make him trust you a bit less and he definitely wants trust in the relationship

Trust is a huge key or hes out

Johnny

This man 🥲

Boyfriend Material™

So gentle and loving

Loves making you feel special and will hype the shit out of you when you don't feel confident doing something

Will always make sure you're doing okay

Johnny puts in so much effort to make this relationship work and expects you to put the same amount of effort into it too

Like taeil, hes really big on trust

Add honesty to that list

Plus he expects you to be mature when needed

If you're the type of person who depends on someone else for everything and I'm mean everything he will actually leave

Hes not your babysitter❤

But he will take care of you to some extent

Like basic things for instance

He'll make you food if you're sick, get you water if your dehydrated, will get your feminine products when you need it

Very sweet😌

Okay and he spoils you but wbk

"Why are you getting me so much things?"

"Because I love you."

"But why did you get me a kitten costume???"

He has some kinks to work out 😐

Johnny will go to shop after shop even if you say you don't want something (you do but you just don't want him to pay) he'll get it without batting an eye

"Youve been staring at these shoes for 5 minutes imma buy them for you"

"Huh? No! I-"

"Too late"

will take you out to dinner all the time just to be romantic

Hes actually really good at romantic stuff

I say Johnny you say whipped

Johnny👀

Whipped😫

His free time is always you time

So don't bother saying your busy cuz now hes busy with you

"Johnny i got a test coming up can you come later? I need to study

"Thats cute im coming over to help"

Taeyong

Judging taeyong on his looks, some say he would be cold to his girlfriend

Like a tsundere

But the man is quite the opposite

Though he can be stern if need be

He has 22 children what do you expect

Will literally treat you like his members and always taking care of you

But there will be times when you have to take care of him because hes so tired from work

He turns into a baby when he's tired or lazy too

So wrap him in a burrito blanket and hes all set for the day

Makes weird noises but thats normal

You're just watching tv and hes just making some old video game sounds with his mouth

No one questions it

If he didnt make sounds you'd probably question it

Talks in pout if he doesn't get his way with you

"Why don't you wanna play games with me~"

"Bruh I'm tired"

Or just gives you those big puppy eyes without even trying

Complete other person when you're not listening

He just kinda stares at you all intimidating like until you listen

Taeyong won't do anything too bad if you kept ignoring him, but you don't know that

Omg bro he'd literally bring you on vlive with him to chat

Even if the company is like '???Shes not an idol???'

But its taeyong so SM doesn't care🧍‍♂️

"We have special guest again! Its y/n-ah!!"

You'd be just chilling on his bed giving him a wtf look until you realize there's a camera and smile

"Shes cute. Isn't she cute guys?"

Don't try to escape the vlive, he'll just get up and sit you on his lap

Makes everyone watching jelly🥲

Bro he would make fun of you the same way he makes fun of doyoung

you'd be sitting with doyoung or sumn and taeyong just comes up to the both of you and decides

'Its time to end these two'

You and doyoung are just like 'tf did we do'

Somehow some other members are making fun of yall

Of course they aren't mean

Its all fun and games and gives you a good laugh after

Doyoung

Hes literally a mom

But its ok

You love it

Sometimes

He also nags a lot

And if you don't listen he gets mad

You wouldn't tell him this but you find it funny

And cute🤐

"Youre almost as bad as dream" 

"what are u talking about im an angel"

"Kay then put the knife down we kinda need haechan to live"

Hes beaten you with a pillow once

In front of taeyong

Taeyong was watching like 👁👄👁

I dont think he cares much for pda tbh

But he doesn't hate it

He'll hug you a lot

And doyoung will probably kiss you here and there

But thats depending on his mood

If he's tired he'd probably just hold you in his arms

Either way he still makes you smile even with the smallest of touches

When you guys go out in public doyoung always holds your hand

I mean always

Remember when I said he doesn't seem like the type to be into pda

I lied

Doyoung wants everyone to know youre his

He won't kiss you but he will pull you into random hugs and hold your hand like he's gonna lose you any second

Doyoung also can't go anywhere without dressing his best

Like even if he's just practicing he's gotta look cute

And he always does because he's fucking kim doyoung

Doyoung also has a habit to make up names for you

Like one day he'll call you babe/baby

The next day could be angel or princess

Then there's you who just calls him bunny because he hates (loves) it

Expect some random gifts from him

Cuz like Johnny, he likes to spoil you

he just loves the smile thats plastered on your face

Pinches your cheeks evey time you smile too

When you guys are just chilling in the dorms you are always doing something to make doyoung get "angry"

"Angry" doyoung is a fun doyoung

Says you and taeyong 🤭

Literally will chase you around the dorm until he gets you and "scolds you"

Hell also scold taeyong

Sometimes you prank him with the other members

*cough*haechan*cough*

But doyoung knows youre just being playful

So he kinda laughs at you

Yuta

Hes a devil

Wbk

He can go from calling you the cutest lil thang to saying the most inappropriate stuff

"U have such a pretty mouth" 

"no stop" 

"how about u use it on my-"

"OUT DEMON"

Besides that he's actually very nice

Although he doesn't really show his affection like how most couples would

At first hes kinda like a "cold boyfriend" but not?

Gives off a tsundere kinda vibe

He lives for pda

Especially if you initiate it

His favorite is kissing your neck

Not in a sexual way or trying to give you hickeys tho

He just comes over and kisses it

Probably has a neck kink 😳

Same 😌

When you guys are out in public his arm is always around your waist or shoulders

He gets easily jealous when you give anyone any attention

Especially if you have a pet

He will be pouty for God knows how long until you notice

"I'll make it up to you"

"ok then prove it *pats his lap*"

"...I can and will replace you with this animal"

Will not let a dude flirt with you

If he sees a dude flirt with you he just gives them ㄒ卄乇 ㄥㄖㄖҜ

Lowkey hot

But sometimes gives you that look if u aren't listening to him

Its an advantage

Freaks you out tho

When your sitting on the couch minding your own damn business yuta always pulls you onto his lap or sits you between his legs

He really likes to be close to you

So when you guys are sitting he keeps his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you gently rocking you both

Omg im making myself feel single

If you are sad yuta will always be the first person you lean on

Even if its not serious

"Who do I need to fuck up?"

"Im literally just on my period..."

The members sometimes tease him because they'd never seen him so in love

He looks at you like ur his everything

Because you are

He'll tell you that too

If you say something bad about urself he gives you a whole ass lecture about how u should love yourself the way he loves you

He'd be talking for 25 minutes but you stopped listening 30 minutes ago

Literally scolds you for not listening

Loves how well you get along with the members

But also hates how well you get along with specific members because of how similar you are with them

What I'm trying to say is that you are a bit too similar to mark🚶‍♂️

Jaehyun

Frat boy boyfriend

Lowkey wants to fuck everyday

Idk he gives off that vibe

But jaehyuns just chill half the time

Hes like an American boyfriend like bitch you're Korean 👁👄👁

Hes super cuddly and warm

Thats weird wait

Like when you're cold just snuggle into him because body heat <3

Always loosely has his arms around your waist when just laying down

Whole different story if you're sitting on his lap and just standing around

Back hugs😫😫

Dead ass the first thing he does if he sees you is give you a back hug

It works for a lot of things

Surprise? Back hug

You're cooking? Back hug

Horny? Back hug

Solves his life problems basically

Hes a freak omg

Very flirtatious too

Hes just that bitch

Either he makes you blush or roll your eyes

"Y/n you're ass is fat"

Def an ass guy😑

Hes the type of guy to put his hands in your jeans back pocket

Wait no im feeling jaehyun too much rn

BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

Or when yall hug his hand doesn't rest on your back but your ass

If you're wearing some shorts or something that makes your but pop

Hes gonna smack it and pretend like nothing happened

Yo someone pls save me im in my jae feels

Nah I've been talking about his ass kink for too long

Ummmm

Okay for real though jaes actually really nice and kind of careless when it comes to you

Fuck everyone else, if you've fallen and scraped your knee hes gonna be that soccer mom and rip a band aid out of nowhere

But if one of his members scraped their knee he'd just look the other way and smile like nothing happened

Earlier I said he was chill but hes also loud too

You walk into the dorms and the first thing you hear is "Y/N!!" Wyd?

You swear he doesn't realize how loud he is half the time because of that deep voice

This bitch always makes sure youre healthy and tries to take you to the gym with him

It dont work cuz this bitch just stares at your ass

Nah I need to do the next member

Jungwoo

hes literally the cutest especially around you

When he greets you its basically a whole ass bear hug

Whole lots a kissing

Literally doesn't care where you guys are

He will kiss you anywhere

Loves to kiss your forehead because he doesn't have to bend down as much🤭

doesnt care if the members are there

Nobody ever questions it either

"youre my baby right?"

"jungwoo-"

"riGhT?"

"Yes...."

He does aegyo if he doesn't get his way

It works every time don't lie

Will probably sit on your lap for some reason

Hes not light

But if you can do it so can he

you guys never get into fights

Even if you do its never anything serious

"you fucking pushed me so u could win"

"false I accidentally bumped my arm into urs"

"whats accidental is the murder im going to commit"

"what?"

"What?"

Smh young love

Going shopping with jungwoo is like shopping with a kid

Will beg for any food he lays his eyes on

"Omg can we get cookies?🥺"

"only if your paying"

“*gently places cookie dough back* lmao cookies? Never heard of her"

No matter how tired the boy is he will always find time for you

Hell take you too your favorite restaurants and even if you insist on paying he wont let you

If you don't marry him I will

When you guys are walking in public he will always be holding your hand

Says its because he doesn't want you to get lost

But you know damn well its actually him who doesn't want to get lost😳

Jk you just know he wants to be close to you

If you make any suggestive joke he always knows how to counterpart it

Leaving you speechless like the members

When you guys are going to bed he has his arms wrapped around your waist

first thing jungwoo does before sleeping is giving you a kiss

Doesn't care if your asleep or awake

Then a quiet 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Mark

i dont even know how to explain this relationship bruh

like its mark lee its gonna be a weird time

ok so marks actually hella nice

kinda bro or dude zones you but you do it back

theres a bunch of yo’s too

as someone who says yo a lot im happy i can relate to him

“yo youre doing that wrong though”

“dude im literally reading the directions, it said 3 cups of water”

“bro it says 3/4 oh my god”

yall cant cook 

taeyong wont even allow even you to help him cook

anyway marks special

but seriously marks actually a very gentle person with you

like legit is super nice to you even if you sometimes piss him off

marks probablys only been mad at you once then was like ‘its okay’

go to his practices cuz he loves that shit

he really likes when you are social with the members too

cuz then you guys are all friends and he can just bring you to places with them :D

this kid will literally not to pda in front of any member so you have to basically force him to just hug you

johnnys always making fun of you two and mark panics everytime while youre just like ‘yeah what about it’

compliment mark and hes blushing and squealing like an anime girl

inch resting concept 

“mark you look cute today”

“o-oh um..yeah thanks”

and this man can take compliments but with you its a whole new story

aight lemme get serious

marks mad sensitive 

so dont actually purposely make him mad, jealous, or upset

it would crush him

and he doesnt want someone like that in a relationship

cuz if he doesnt purposely do it to you, dont do it to him

take notes 

Haechan

hes a brat bye

would actually fight you just to get his way

makes fun of you on a regular

thinks hes cute 

hes not wrong

but actually he knows how to act mature when he needs to

like if youre genuinly getting upset with him, he will straighten up and quicky apologize, even give you a phat kiss and hug

might take you to get ice cream after if he really upset you

he can be nice

nah jk hes very nice and is a really energetic boyfriend

haechan always wants to do something with you liek go to the amusement park, go out to eat, or go shopping

sometimes makes everything seem like a hassle to leave and go somewhere with you cuz hes either lazy or playing video games

“cant you just go by yourself?”

“but what if i get lost”

“the ice cream place is literally five miles away”

“actually its seven so im gonna get lost”

hed groan the whole time just to be annoying but you dont care cuz you got your ice cream

if you go to any concert or practice, haechan always has to make things more sexy than they should be

like ‘fool’ became hella sexual and for what

its probably one of his favorites to make you blush

he loves your reactions

keeps him alive

hyucks always got something to say even at the most awful times

youre literally choking on water and he goes “ill give you something to choke on later”

and you have to cancel your dying session to smack his head

my guy has no filter

and he wont even hide that around the members

theres always that smirk on his cute ass face if he succeeds too

i have the sudden urge to fight him

[lunaekalenda]

Hi! Can I request a Jean x Reader fic where reader is Marco's beloved little sister and basically follows the "Im in love with my brother's best friend" trope? And Reader doesn't do anything about it because she thinks Jean only sees her as a little sister (bc that's what he always says) but Jean is madly in love with her too? And hw never says anything until she does something really reckless. (Any Au is okay :) )

omg yes yes!! of course! i hope you like it! 💖 sorry for the waiting, anon!

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

❁ jean x reader!

❁ modern au!

❁ all are college students (age +18), mention of alcohol, food.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

"Y/N, I'm leaving!" Marco was at the door, putting on his shoes. You nod while you look at your big brother, a smile on his mouth when he sees your eyes from behind the kitchen's door, eating some doritos. "Oh, Jean is coming for dinner." You almost choke. You cough and Marco looks at you. "Y/n?"

"The dorito was spicy, sorry." Jean Kirstein is coming to have dinner at your home. Jean is Marco's best friend since the two of them wore diapers. Marco laughs.

“I told you they were spicy. Well, I'll go now, I’m late! Don’t worry about dinner, I’ll cook once we arrive home!”

You don’t like cooking, but you like even less to be alone with Jean while Marco is occupied. Marco never wants you or him to help, which means you’ll be alone with Jean when he cooks. You remembered your room was a mess and your makeup is in the main bathroom. You run to go and order things a bit, just in case Jean needs to use the bathroom and sees all your makeup around. You also entered your room and got changed, using a pretty outfit based in pastel pink clothes.

Jean is just a couple years older than you, but he thinks about you as his little sister, or so does he say. After all, he and Marco are like brothers, so that makes you her "fake lil-sis." You're tired of that sentence. Of that "How's my sis today?". You want him to look at you like a girl, someone to fall in love with. Not someone to apply a fake blood rule. Marco trains football until 8 p.m, so you have exactly an hour to get all clean. Even when you and Marco are really tidy people, it’s impossible to keep all the things in their places. You’re sitting on your bed, moving your legs with nervousness, when you hear the boys entering home.

“We’re back!” Marco yells. You prepare yourself for acting as nothing happens while you go down stairs. Your brother is taking out his shoes and giving his friend house slippers. 

“Hi, welcome.” Your voice comes out more shy than you’ve expected. Jean looks up, his hazel eyes looking directly at yours. You feel your legs weak when he smiles.

“Hi, y/n!” he says. For your luck, you hear another voice. 

“Is y/n here?” Connie’s voice is listened behind Marco.

“She lives here, idiot.” Jean comes in and you look how his tall body is now positioned near yours. Connie smiles and runs toward you, his arm around your shoulders. 

“Jean, sometimes people go and spend nights out with friends, specially if you’re coming.” The boy clicks his tongue. “Long time no see, bestie.” You laugh. It’s true that Connie is one of your best friends, he’s in your math group, and his outgoing personality made him became one of your best friends really quick, and also Marco’s. 

"You're having dinner here?" Connie shakes his head.

"Nah. Today I cook on the shared flat, I don't want to leave Sasha without dinner or she'll eat my chocolate reserves. I just came to steal a couple beers to Marco." Marco points the fridge with his index. Connie laughs. "Bro, I know where your fridge is, but thanks anyway."

They have a trust in each other that you envy, is so natural for them to visit the others' houses, and they're comfortable with it. As you're comfortable with them hanging around your house, seeing Marco so happy. Jean crosses his arms, his arm touching yours for a second. Your braincells disconnect from your body and you enter in a kinda of Jean repetitive thoughts. Connie sits on your sofa, opening a beer.

"Well, I'll go and make some pasta. You guys can play there." Connie takes the remotes, giving one to Jean and another to you.

"Marco, you should play with them." you say. "I'll cook."

"Don't worry! I beat their asses every day, now it's your turn to do the same." he says, entering the kitchen. You sigh, taking the remote. They put a shooter. You sit in the middle of your sofa, giving space to Jean to sit near Connie.

"Fuck, I'm so bad at this..." You say. Even knowing is a cooperative game against zombies, you're always the first one to die. Jean laughs quietly, before sitting next to you. His leg collides with yours in a jokingly way.

"I'll protect you." he says. You know he's talking about the game, but you can't help and start daydreaming about him and you, how his long fingers will take your hand and pull you to his chest, whispering those words on...

"Oi, Jean, you're not that good to protect her! Zombies will kill you two unless I protect you both!"

"Connie you suck at this game." Jean defends himself.

"I'm sure Y/N prefers me to protect her. Or do you prefer Jean?"

He's dead man. He knows perfectly what do you feel. He knows you like Jean a lot, and he has been trying to make you confess. Jean looks at you, his sweet gaze fixed on your eyes. Yo look down.

"I think I can handle it by myself." Connie laughs and Jean roasts him. The game starts. You watch how Jean's fingers change quickly between all the buttons: pressing, touching, moving. You look again to the TV, blushed. You shouldn't be thinking this things. Concentrate in the game, Y/N. Concentrate. The game goes strangly well, the three of you comunicate your plans easily to the others, and it all goes well. Jean rests his back against the sofa, making his t-shirt go out a bit and his sport shorts tighten around his worked body. You can't take your eyes out. You blush again and you feel how your remote vibrates, indicating you're being eat by a zombie. Connie sighs and Jean looks at the screen.

"Fuck, Y/N, sorry." he says. You clear your throat and shake your head.

"I was distracted, sorry." Connie smiles.

"What distracted you, bestie?" he asks. You're going to kill him. You don't answer, getting up and asking what do they want to drink. Jean asks for a glass of water and Connie asks if you could bring something to eat, even when he has to leave in ten minutes. You give Jean his glass and Connie some chips.

"Thank you, bestie." he says. You look at him, faking a smile.

"Eat and be silent for a while, bestie." he nods and eats. Even knowing you're joking, he doesn't say anything for a bit. He's concentrated in the game, as Jean is. You go to the kitchen and ask Marco if he needs soemthing. He shakes his head, preparing the sauce for the spaghetti.

"Weren't you playing?" he asks. You nod.

"Yep. I died." he smiles. Marco's smile is the most bright and beautiful smile you ever seen. You wanted to have a smile like his, but you only have his same eyes and freckles. He looks at you.

"Go, go. Don't leave my guests alone!" you nod and went back again to the living room. The game is finished, with Connie and Jean's stadistics in the screen.

"Look, bunny!" he says "I was the better one to protect you!". It's true that Jean's stadistics are better than Connie's.

"Oi, Kirstein, you're just a bit better... It was luck." he says. He looks the hour on his glass and gets up. "Well, I'll go home now. It was a pleasure." he says. You accompany him to the door. "I wish you luck, bestie. I'm sure you need it." You punch playfully Connie's shoulder before hugging him. "And, mark my words: He's just waiting." Then, he leaves, without giving you the opportunity to ask what the heck he meant by that. You head back to the living room, where Jean is sitting on the sofa. His sweater is on a near chair. It's so big and looks so comfortable...

"Do you want to play more?" you ask. Jean looks at you while you sit, giving him space. He smiles.

"Why not! Do you want me to teach you how to play this one?" he takes a open world game. You know he's really good at them. Marco, Jean and Eren usually play online every saturday, and they want you to join their team, but you haven't played that much. You nod. "Okay, let me..." He moves near to you. He takes the controller and gives one to you, keeping him the other. He enters the game. "Well, choose a character, bunny."

He has been calling you bunny since he discovered how much you like bunnies. They're so fluffy and beautiful, you like them. You have one, called "Wink", because he has a genetic problem that makes him wink one of his beautiful eyes. He was about to be sacrificed because of that, but you saved him in the last moment. He's now a happy bunny with a curious talent. You doesn't dislike the pet name Jean gave you years ago, but it makes him sound like he's calling you a really affectionate nickname.

You go back to reality and choose a cute little girl using a big hat. He chooses a near character and clicks play. "Okay. This is the main city, so now you have to climb here to unlock the map..." he explains you for a while, and you follow his character. Sometimes, when he moves his leg, his knee collides with yours. Now, you're totally stuck in a level.

"Jean, how do I...?" he looks at your character, stuck between two walls.

"Can I?" he puts his hands near your controller and, when you're about to give it to him, he puts his big hands on top of yours, covering them. His fingers pressed lightly against yours. You look at him, but he has his eyes fixed on the screen, as he moves your fingers with his. “You have to move like this, silly...” he says. But you can’t concentrate in anything more than his scent near you, the warmth his body irradiates and his fingers pressing yours sweetly. You feel how your heart speeds up it's beat.

"Y/N!" Marco yells. "Can you take the garbage to the container, please?" he asks. You yell yes in response, getting away from Jean's body. You get up fast. He does the same, suddenly kinda uncomfortable.

"I'll accompany you, bunny." he says. You nod, taking the garbage bag. Jean follows you silently. The container is not far from your house, just a couple crosswalks. You take the bag and start walking. It's dark now, and the street is really quiet. Just your steps and Jean's can be heard. He follows you keeping a distance, his long legs making short steps. "The night is beautiful today." he says. You nod in response. You look at both sides before crossing the street.

"Maybe a little bit cold." you say. He quickens the pace to be near to you. The sweater he took from the chair is around his waist, so he takes it and puts it on your shoulders.

"Use it. I'll take the bag." he says. You murmur a little "thanks" while putting his sweater on. It smells like him. You try to take the bag from his hands back, but he moves. "Jean, give me back the trash." He smiles playfully.

"Take it from me, bunny." he jokes. His long arms move the bag, avoiding you to take it. He's playing near the road, so if you go around him and surprise him from the road, you can take it. That's why you go down to the road, without looking and without noticing a car that is coming fast towards you. The car lights were really low, and that didn't make you realize it was coming. But now, now that Jean yelled your name and the car beeped, you realize you're about to be hitted by it.

You can't move, your body is totally paralyzed. You knew the car was trying to stop, but the high velocity it got is impossible to stop. You thought you'll feel a hard hit, but you felt a soft thing around you.

Jean's body is around yours when you find you two on the street. It takes you a couple seconds to realize what happened.

"Jean, Jean, Jean." you move him. Got he hit by the car? Did he put his body between yours and the car? He looks at you, his eyes searching your gaze.

"Are you okay?" he asks. You nod while he gets up, helping you to fo the same.

"And you? Did it hit you?" He shakes his head.

"I just pulled you against me, that's why we were on the floor." He explains. "None of us got hit. But you have to be more careful, what could have happened to you if I wasn't here? You coul... Y/N?" he asks. Tears are running down your tears. He takes you in a hug, his big and warm body protecting yours.

"Sorry." You say. You feel how he caresses you hair.

"You scared me. I thought the car was going to hit you. Be more careful." You nod. You try to make a joke, to make things more comfortable.

"You're really a good fake brother."

"That's what you think of me?" he asks. Isn't that what he wants you to think? Isn't he the one calling you sis? His hands explore a bit your body, with long caresses from your neck to your low back. His long fingers running slow on your skin.

"That's what you think of me" you answer. He clicks his tongue.

"You never showed any interest in me. I gave up and treated you like a sister. That's what you wanted, no?" You wanted to look at him, but he doesn't let you, pressing your head soflty against his chest.

"I was in love with you, Jean. But you came home and tell my brother how good Mikasa looked and «How are you, little sister?». What I was supossed to do? Compete with an older girl? Make you realize I'm not your little sister?"

He doesn't say nothing for a while. He breathes deeply, before talking.

"Sorry, I was nervous. I thought the car was going to hit you. I thought I was about to see you getting hit." he says. His breath is a little bit irregular now. Taking some valor, you leave a kiss on his chest, where is heart is ubicated. He sighs. "I also liked you. But it didn't feel good, you were my bestie's little sister. I didn't want to ruin my friendship or worse, your relation with your brother. I thought it was better for me to stay away. That's why I treated you like that. I was trying to convince myself. It didn't work." he lets out a little laugh.

"I felt like you were serious about it. That's why I never said anything. But I do like you, Kirstein."

"You're a lucky girl." he says. He keeps your head buried on his chest. "Because I also like you, Bott." he says. He leaves a soft kiss on your hair and, shyly, accompanies you to throw the garbage. There's silence. Once you're walking back, in the same silence, he breaks it. "Should we date, then?" he asks. "We're both adults and we like each other, doesn't it work like that?" he asks. You nod.

"But, Marco?" he says then. Oh, you forgot about him. Marco, your brother, his best friend.

"Oh, true..."

"Well, Marco is home and we aren't." he says. "He isn't going to miss us a couple minutes, right?" his voice getting low as his lips got closer to yours. "You don't know how many times I wanted to kiss those lips or caress this body." he murmurs. You tangle your hands around his neck.

"Why you didn't, then?" you ask. He lets out a little laugh.

"Now I have all the time of the world to kiss you." you feel his soft lips against yours. His hands around your waist and yours tangled on his hair. It feels so good.

"I hope so."

m e a n w h i le

"do you think he confessed?" Connie asks. Marco keeps taking out plates while talking to Connie on the phone.

"They have been out for twenty minutes. I'm a 99% sure he did, and he's corrupting my little sister behind a house." he says.

"He doesn't want to break your sister's relation with you." Connie says. Marco sighs.

"My sister is in love with him. If both like each other, it's none lf my business."

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?