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ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

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cloudy-rainn · 2 years

Note

greetings and salutations~

hope you’ve been well! id like to request a matchup for bsd, jjk, and tokyorev pleasee

im a 20 year old, 5’3 or 5’4 (one of those two..) pinay. i have short black hair with some bits of dark brown at the ends from when i bleached it before and an undercut at the back. i have big black almond eyes with round glasses and am kinda light to med skinned. im relatively lightweight but still have some tone cuz sis lost sum muscle 😭

personality and etc:

MBTI: INTJ

heterosexual/genderfluid (she/her is my go-to default)/asexual

(im not a firm believer in zodiac since i get along with everyone anyway but-)

western zodiac sign: sagittarius

moon: sagittarius :>

rising: libra

eastern zodiac sign: dragon

enneagram: 8w9

(im sure this explains most of my personality but ill jus put into detail here if ya wanna know)

my core personality:

more on the chill and vibey side. i express more ambivert energy. ive been described as patient, kind, realistic, understanding, quiet, straightforward, open, honest, tsundere¿, creative… and wacky?? lmaO i got sum crackhead energy too so gotta love that. i love to take care of those i cherish deeply, im BIG strict on mental health, im kinda quiet and reserved first impression, zero tolerance for toxicity, nocturnal (night owl over here ;-;), hard worker, a bit more tomboyish but womanly if ya know ya know 💅🏼i still embrace my childish antics :3 so i tend to wander and get distracted sometimes and stare off into space o-o, rather sweet and gentle with things i find precious and am naturally kind/affectionate to those i endear, im sometimes clumsy and hurt myself. i was one of those kids that sees a lizard and yells “LIZARD” running after it. im also giddy and stupidly silly :3 like i would laugh at something i found funny even after it has passed LOL. im a teaser :> i love to be playful with people. it’s basically a hobby at this point. like i tend to laugh at my own jokes lmaO im always in for a good time

however, when it gets serious, i can be aggressive. i can b a hypocrite sometimes.. i dont always take care of myself when im super focused, tend to heavily isolate when in the deep end but quite forgiving and understanding nevertheless. im quite comfortable with my dark side and can handle myself well but i require a lot of patience and determination. im quite empathetic with people as i pick up energies in a room. i will scold you if you’re not taking care of yourself and will tell you straight up what i think. if it’s serious time, im respectful and polite. but also im naturally curious and can be keen to seeing things that people dont usually pick up on

Love Language:

physical touch and quality time. so - yes ( ͡≖ ‿ ͡≖) - im a big time cuddle bear for sfw and a bit more dom in the not 🤭. but i get flustered with small affectionate gestures or doting behavior. i jus get so MMMM O////O. im not inclined to superficiality because bonding is what matters most to me

Etc:

my favorite color is pumpkin orange

Likes:

acai bowls, jelly beans :3, animals, criminology/forensics, video games, collecting things, formal events (tho i favor more of a humble living than luxury), baking and artsy stuff (sewing, crocheting, drawing, occasional designing, etc), performing arts stuff (dance, music), fashion: streetwear/comfy style and sometimes more bold wear 👀

Dislikes:

disrespect, overly sensitive controlling and exclusive people, aggressive confrontation, unreliable people, avocado, sausage, out of tune singers, unsatisfying things, unreasonably-hard-to-open products 🤨

sorry for the essay hope it wasnt too much!

hsjdjdkhaha, it’s okay, the more the better :)

also hello fellow intj 😩✊

i match you with RAMPO EDOGAWA!

- the agency is tired of the both of you (even though you don’t work there). y’all basically are like twins.

- you are the one that approaches him first. you were just being a normal civilian until you heard rather suspicious noises. you follow the sound and you see rampo. vending machine. his hand was stuck inside the vending machine and he didn’t know what to do. fortunately for him, you quickly helped him while also secretly telling him how to scam the machine.

-and that’s when he knew you were the one. after that encounter he would definitely give you his number and would frequently text you, asking you the most random and weirdest questions.

- he’ll ask you to join during his investigations. very chaotic i say. you two would definitely fool around for a while but will always get the job done.

- you would ask him out first. he’s definitely the type to playfully flirt but when it comes to confessing how he feels, it’s not an easy task for him.

- he would take you to a serene & quiet place for a date. he feels more comfortable and open when it’s only the two of you. he’ll definitely ask a lot of questions because he wants to get to know you better.

- you’re the only person he shares his snacks with.

- a lot of playful fighting. sometimes when he’s being sneaky he’ll steal a kiss or two, to throw you off guard.

- maNS loves giving back hugs. also he constantly kisses the back of your hands and forehead.

i match you with GOJO SATORU!

- yes y’all are the entp x intj troupe. 🤡

- also please get this man a leash. he is wild.

- you two knew each other from high school days. you used to hang out with him and getou. then everything took a terrible turn and you just lost contact with him.

- then, one day out of the blue as you were walking home with your weekly supply of jellybeans a tall figure stands in front of you. " do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk by again?"

- it definitely took you a couple of seconds to register that annoying voice. you looked him straight in the eye and walked away. of course mr. man whore here followed you, pestering you with millions of questions. you getting annoyed decided to have a catch up with each other at the cafe.

- you noticed how he hasn't changed one bit, still the same annoying brat from before. you missed this.

- you two start to hang out more often. he usually drops by your place, bringing sweets and pastries (when he is supposed to be helping the first years) for the both of you.

- when he asked you out the first time, you turned him down. you weren't exactly sure about your feelings but after some time you did come around and BOOM- y'all were one weird ass couple.

- the most random date night. sometimes this man will BRING you to help him during an investigation and call it a date <3

- megumi can't comprehend what you find appealing about him.

- okay okay, enough gojo slander now but i now he DEFINITELY spoils you. you want it, he buys it.

- mans gets jealous if you spend more time with the first years than him.

#bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #dazai #ranpo headcanons #jjk #jjk headcanons #gojo headcanons #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen

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kazuwhora · 3 years

Note

greetings and salutations~

(i completely left out some information im so sorry im sending it again so pls ignore the other) id like to request a romatchup (romantic matchup) for tokyorev. it’s been a while since ive done one so bare with me 💀

im a 5’3 or 5’4 (one of those two..) pinay. i have short black hair with some bits of dark brown at the ends from when i bleached it before and an undercut at the back. i have big black almond eyes with round glasses and am kinda light to med skinned. im relatively lightweight but still have some tone cuz sis lost sum muscle 😭 rip abs goals 😩. my looks? people have called me stunning and beautiful. id say i agree.. tho i dont really care about all that lmao. looks are a cherry on top under all that cake 🤌🏼

recent tests for personality and etc:

MBTI: INFJ

HP House: tride and true ravenclaw

heterosexual/genderfluid (she/her is my go-to default)/asexual

(im not a firm believer in zodiac since i get along with everyone anyway but-)

western zodiac sign: sagittarius

moon: sagittarius :>

rising: libra

eastern zodiac sign: dragon

enneagram: 8w9

(im sure this explains most of my personality but ill jus put into detail here if ya wanna know)

despite me being an 8, im not completely as “bombastic” as they describe it. i lean more on the chill and vibey side. ive been described as patient, kind, realistic, understanding, straightforward, open, honest, charming, creative… and wacky?? lmaO i got sum crackhead energy too so gotta love that. but otherwise, the enneagram is mostly accurate than anything. i pick up leadership roles when needed, i love to take care of those i cherish deeply, i can be BIG strict on mental health, mom/child dynamic switch, irl- im kinda quiet but friendly first impression, zero tolerance for toxicity, i believe in God 🙏🏼, nocturnal (night owl over here ;-;), hard worker, can be a bit bratty, a bit more tomboyish but womanly if ya know ya know 💅🏼..i still embrace my childish antics :3 so i tend to wander and get distracted sometimes and stare off into space o-o, im sometimes clumsy and hurt myself “in the process” :< i was one of those kids that sees a lizard and yells “LIZARD” running after it. id say i have a unique taste in music *chef’s kiss* i love r&b+pop and grew up in all kinds of genres but i listen to anything that gets me moving. fav song rn is Leave the Door Open by SilkSonic (ooh yes bitch we in here with tha vibes)

i can b a hypocrite sometimes, dont always take care of myself when im super focused, tend to heavily isolate when in the deep end, can be stubborn but still sensitive to emotion, quite forgiving and understanding nevertheless. i require a lot of patience and determination but i promise im working on it as well as my irritation i kinda get irritated easily. i value my independence, introspection, and honesty. i may be empathetic with people and pick up energies in a room, but i will scold you if you’re not taking care of yourself and tell you straight up what i think. if it’s serious time, im respectful and polite. there’s a time and place for everything. but also im naturally curious and can be keen to seeing things that people dont usually pick up on

Love Language:

im also a kinetic and visual person. this ties into my primary love language which is physical touch so - yes ( ͡≖ ‿ ͡≖) - im a big time cuddle bear for sfw and a bit more dom in the not 🤭you know what it is~ but i get flustered if you hold my hands or hug me from behind. i jus get so MMMM O////O. for nsfw, i dont like over the top shit. nothing too intense. but soft with a bit of heat is 😮‍💨 im just not inclined to superficiality because bonding is what matters most to me.

ill tease the hell out of you ;P i love to be playful with people. it’s basically a hobby at this point. sometimes ill think of something funny and giggle. i tend to laugh at my own jokes lmaO im always in for a good laugh. im also not the kind of person to get down with just anybody psh. im picky picky. im either demisexual or gray... tsk bruh idk anymore men tying their hair up is kinda hot wtf is wrong with me skskfkcja i will growl dont do it lmaO i try to devote my beliefs and my life to my faith as it was the only thing that kept me going in life. if there’s anything ill hold onto, it’s hope. but mayGodhelpmeit’sthehormones LOL

Etc:

i waddle when im lazy. i love acai bowls and jelly beans :3 my favorite color is pumpkin orange. i have a weird instinct that when people pet or put their hand on my head, my head just lowers or dips :< idk it just happens. 20 years of my life and im still in tune with my inner kid 😂 im very affectionate so small things matter to me. i also love formal events, though i favor a humble living than luxury. i also love to bake and do artsy stuff! including performing arts stuff. i grew up learning marital arts as a kid but eventually ended up.. not.. ever getting.. into.. a fight? lmaoo i also dont like hurting myself.. i also like fashion. i particularly love streetwear/comfy style and sometimes more bold wear 👀

ideal date:

idk let’s make our own fuck it. playing video games together (maybe go to an arcade cuz im competitive in Street Fighter), cooking together, pillow fights, chasing around the house, board games, small playful antics, messing with each other, going to the playground, roller/ice skating.. i also love nature so anything like fishing, swimming, playing piano while it’s raining outside, stargazing, etc as well as other indoor activities

hehe no problem thank you for sending a request and im sorry it took so long for me to get to! also this is the most sagittarius thing I've ever read in my life LMAOOO

I think you would pair really well with Mikey!

mikey is a little bit more on the laid back side, but he's no stranger to having fun. I think someone so in touch with their inner child (in a good way) and someone who knows how to let loose and just enjoy themselves would be something really healthy for mikey. he needs you to encourage him to have fun, he needs you to guide him into relaxing for one minute and not having to run a literal fucking game. like sure he's a manchild, but not in the way where he has fun like a child. just a manchild in the "overtired baby who missed their nap and is now cranky and fussy" way. needless to say, he really benefits from the fun side of you and even if it's a slow process, you're the one that can get him there and out of that fussy baby shell.

mikey has wavering levels of energy. sometimes he's got more, sometimes he has absolutely none. there's no in between, and for him trying to generate that excited energy is really hard and draining. this is where you once again save the day. because he's an introvert, he does really well feeding off of your extraversion and your energy in general. when he's with you, mikey doesn't feel the need to push himself past his limits when he's got you to bounce off of. and so he will.

I think you might have a tendency here to be hypocritical with mikey though. I think there will be times when you're trying to get mikey to enjoy life even just a tad bit more, but you'll struggle to take your own advice when you're having a hard time. mikey understands this though, and while he's not the best with words it's in these times that he'll absolutely try everything he can to get you at least onto his level. "wanna go for a drive?" will be his most uttered phrase in your ear if you're not having the greatest time.

when it comes to love languages, mikey is hot and cold. he's definitely not a words person, he's not the biggest fan of physical touch either but this just makes it all the more exciting when he does. I think mikey is more likely to be an acts of service type of partner with you, just don't accept any offers to let him cook for you because its either ending in the most disgusting dish you've ever had in your life or its ending in him fucking you over the counter. your choice (maybe?)

#EISRUHIUGHRS mikey #I ship myself with mikey too #among pretty much everyone else in the show bc im great

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prometheanglory · 4 years

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HIIII IM HERE TO BOTHER U, MY LUV, so. its gonna be a lot, im so sorry;

flintroza: pre-relationship 3, general 1, 2, 4, love 8 and domestic life 1, 3 & 7 :-)

as for xiangvinh: pre-relationship 1, 4, 6, general 1 + 6, love 1, 5, 8 AAAND domestic life 3, 4, 8 😳

HI THERE YOU. I LOVE YOU.

⚖️🌹 pre-relationship — 3. Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

DUH. berkeley looming over flint’s shoulder like ‘soooooooooooooo :-) we gonna meet a special lady soon?’

outside of this, flint’s parents were actually a little shocked that flint could have a crush on someone like that. they sorta just assumed he wasn’t going to date. chase was down for it too, seeing as he thought they’d be a sweet match!

vinh and lola had roza’s back for it — but well, lola’s always been a little over-protective so she did have a period of time where flint was essentially always getting the stink-eye from her.

⚖️🌹 general — 1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

technically they both did..... at the same time. what good comes out of trying to beat flint to the punch? apparently this ! seeing as they’re still going strong, i’d say it went pretty well!

⚖️🌹general — 2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

I WANNA SAY. THEY ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THAT STEP. but by ‘accidentally’ i mean roza was super eager to just be with him and flint wasn’t all too into the thought of structured dates while they’re both sorta busy so, they sorta just started hanging out more and more and that became what considered a ‘date’. i wanna say their first ‘date’ like that was roza popping by when flint was busy doing work but they just chatted bc she already came all this way — they went for a nice stroll afterwards 😌

⚖️🌹general — 4. Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

hmm.... i wanna say that roza is flint’s first ‘serious’ girlfriend? he’s had a few relationships before, but he wouldn’t really say they were all too significant to him. first person that he felt strong romantic attraction to.

i aint gotta speak for roza, homegirl was in solitude.

⚖️🌹love — 8. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

‘nicknames,’ you say. flint calling her ‘roza’ is plenty affectionate to him. sometimes when he’s exasperated, he does say her full name — sometimes complete with even her last names, but besides that? he doesn’t go for much. he’s simple!

⚖️🌹domestic — 1. If they get married, who proposes?

much to roza’s (very minor) chagrin, he beat her to the punch again. probably did it over a quiet night between the two, a quiet record playing in the background while they both relax after a long day and he just pops the question right there in the living room.

⚖️🌹 domestic — 3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

well, flint only planned for one but. the twins were a pleasant surprise. i think they both take after their parents in the strangest of ways :-) one who is, incredibly cheery but unnervingly blunt whereas the other is very polite but notably. strict.

⚖️🌹 domestic — 7. How do they celebrate holidays?

flint doesn’t really go all out for holidays, but he’s happy to help roza celebrate in a way she likes or would prefer to! he generally does some of the less fun parts of holiday planning so that roza can relax or focus more on what she’s excited for (this is also his way of having fun, sorta. weird, but nonetheless it all works out.)

🏹🕯pre-relationship — 1. How did they first meet?

somehow through idia. weird, isn’t it?

idia was probably hiding from class 3-b and vinh wasn’t feeling up to retrieving him, so she just let him slide free for one day. those two are usually stuck sitting beside each other in class seeing as S and T are right beside each other on the alphabet tho — so when xiang drops by idia’s seat in the morning to bother his ol’ pal, he just meets vinh in idia’s absence instead (who usually shows up to class a little later because of her morning errands.) inch-resting :-) let’s bother the mysterious pretty student for the day instead :-)

🏹🕯pre-relationship — 4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

as tempting as it is to say xiang, i wanna say. it probably was vinh. she doesn’t hang around just anybody, you know? 🤫

🏹🕯 pre-relationship — 6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

i. uh. well, we all know how xiang would react but i’m pretty sure vinh would just ask you to reconsider because she doesn’t really think anything ‘destined’ is meant to be between them.

🏹🕯general — 1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

technically xiang initiated it, but vinh keeps things steady. romantic relationship-wise, i think it’d be funny if vinh actually made it official :-) a little slip of the tongue between them both but uh. well, it worked out for the two of them :-D a bumpy start, but it’s better now !

🏹🕯 general — 6. What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

oh you know... a lil classic ‘i dont like your boyfriend’ drama from the torch family! vinh’s sisters and her mother can be pretty snappy w mr. playboy; vinh’s dad is pretty weary about xiang and his tendencies. they’ll warm up to each other eventually.

i wanna say vinh gets along p well w xiang’s family ! she’s an amiable lady and doesn’t cause much fuss, what’s there to be bothered by? free heating too, man. win-win situation.

🏹🕯 love — 1. Who said “I love you” first?

PLEASE...;;;.;;/: ...... i’m. i wanna say vinh. it was said very quietly to him while he was asleep.

🏹🕯 love — 5. Who’s better at comforting the other?

vinh again.xiang does comfort vinh in his own way, but !! vinh is also much more adept in the art of ‘emotionally aware/being way more sensitive’. xiang is a little (read: very) clumsy when it comes to these sorts of things.

🏹🕯 love — 8. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

YOU RLY... DARE TO ASK ME FOR SONGS.... YOU.... i must limit myself to 5.

line without a hook - ricky montgomery (you already fuckin KNOW bitch)

505 - arctic monkeys (i.... the energy, u know...)

21 - dean (THE LYRICS. LOOK AT THE LYRICS.)

bonnie & clyde - dean (a more, uh. destructive xiangvinh.)

I WANNA SEE SOME ASS - jack harlow (i couldnt. resist.)

🏹🕯domestic — 3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

i want to say just one, but xiang is uh. himself. let’s just lowball it and say one. the kid is a mama’s boy and he’s definitely got a lot of attitude! he’s pretty bashful but with the right people, he’s got a notably sharp tongue.

🏹🕯domestic — 4. Do they have any pets?

absolutely. xiang’s old, lazy, and fat ass cat has become a staple in their life but i wanna say... they probably could get more pets. vinh definitely can’t resist feeding a few strays.

🏹🕯 domestic — 8. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

OH THE CRIPPLING POWER THAT YOUR SPOUSE HOLDS IN THE TENDERNESS OF MORNING..............

i. hard choice to make. i wanna say that xiang is more guilty of asking to sleep-in longer, but vinh’s sense of duty calls so she can’t really entertain that notion. on the flip side, the rare times vinh does it. the thought of big notorious casanova xiang who can’t say no to his sleepy wife makes me slam my head into a wall.

another victory for vinh. unintentional, but nonetheless a victory.

#twst #twisute oc #sheepy sheep #vinh torch #flint remington #answers #v speaks #THIS GOT SO LONG.

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inctlife · 5 years

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since you did chenle and renjun as husbands/dads, how would the rest of the dreamies be as husbands/dads? (p.s. i know requests are closed rn, so please don’t answer this if you don’t want to)

aha no it’s fine!! i’ll answer things like this lol, just not take requests for scenarios :)

find chenle & renjun ‘s here

jeno - as a husband he’d just be really reliable ??? like you can always depend on jeno being down for anything and everything like he’s literally willing to die himself for you???? like sometimes you have to be like ‘nah, jeno i’ll do it dw’ bc he’s about to fucking jump infront of a train so you dont have to go to work

and then when you find our ur pregnant he’s just so happy!!!!!!!! i imagine him being the type of person to actually pick you up and spin you round when you say your pregnant cause he’s just that happy lol

as a dad he’s kinda strict ? but only when he needs to be, otherwise he’s down for anything also if the kids are like ‘daddy look at this thing i learnt’ ‘daddy wanna know what i did at school today’ doesnt matter how busy he is he’s just all ears to his kids

to him you and his kids are more important than himself🥺🥺

jaemin - he’s so in love. that’s all you need to know.

so you got pregnant before you two got married so ur all like ugly crying and proper panicking but jaemin’s just so loving and is like ‘what?? you think im gonna leave you ??????????’ he’s like lowkey offended that you’d even think that bc tbh i think jaemin’s the kind of person who if he doesn’t see the relationship ending in marriage and babies, he’ll break it off bc he just doesnt wanna waste ur time and his

so yeah, ur pregnant and jaemin’s just right here by your side. the whole time. he knows the best foods for you to eat, he knows the exercises you need to do, he’s just here knowing more than you about pregnancy and babies lol (he just cant wait to meet his child like omg thats his child !!!!!)

and then after two kids he finally gets the chance to propose and he goes ALL OUT also in korea weddings are lowkey quite small but jaemin is having a foreign wedding. there aint no way this bitch is over in two hours

donghyuck - so another one who gets you pregnant before marriage. yay.

but for real i think that donghyuck might panic a lil when he first finds out your pregnant, but after just spending like a couple hours in his bedroom he comes back and is like crying and he’s just like ‘i love you so much thank you for carrying my baby’

he’s crying a lot through the whole thing tbh and sometimes when you ask for something he’s like ‘no wtf get it yourself’ before he realises his mistake and is up in 0.0000127 seconds being like ‘soRRy what was it hahaha’

and then you two, being like you are, end up having two more kids and ur just like ‘no more! no more! i’m not doing this again!’ and donghyuck’s like ‘that’s fair’ and then he’s like (ur looking after three kids at this point btw) ‘marry me?’ and this bitch just has a ring in his pocket (he’s had it since you got pregnant the first time) and ur like crying like ‘yES’ and ur kids are like ‘wat’ but it was really cute and you realised how in love you are with duckie tbh

and then you have another kid just to spice it up, you know

but fr duckie’s such a sweet dad and he just plays with your kids and when their sad he’ll sit and cuddle them till their better and he’s just great :(

jisung - okay so jisungie is very unexperienced in basically everything bc he spent his younger years being a trainee :(( but ur like his second/third girlfriend and he’s like ‘i am good now’ and when it comes to proposing and getting married he’s just so ready to prove to the hyungs and the whole of sm and all nctzens that he’s grown up now so he does A LOT for you

sometimes you gotta just baby him but that’s just like cuddles and lil smooches but he always loves that its not cause he’s a baby it’s just cause thats nice everyone likes that🥺

but ya he’s a really great husband tbh and he actually is very mature and he cries when he finds out ur pregnant with sunmi because oh my godㅠㅠㅠㅠ he’s getting a childㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ even before chenle and markㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

lots of crying

as a dad he just loves his kids sm and he just basically spends his whole time being like ‘wow i’m a dad’ like his kid will be like ‘dad!’ and he’ll have to take a moment and be like ‘... that me’ but apart from that he’s really chill and just likes hanging out with his children

#nct dream #dad!nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream reactions #nct dream blurbs #nct dream scenarios #lee jeno fluff #dad!lee jeno #na jaemin fluff #dad!na jaemin #lee donghyuck fluff #dad!lee donghyuck #park jisung fluff #dad!park jisung #huang renjun #zhong chenle

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stagjmes · 5 years

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❛ if there’s one thing the gods love, it’s tragedy. with wings that burn and boys that fall. ❜

—wait a second, is that HIM, the PUREBLOOD sorted into GRYFFINDOR house? their name is JAMES POTTER but they share a startling likeness with AUBREY JOSEPH. in their SEVENTH YEAR, they’re known as the SHEPHERD, probably because they are CHARMING but DEPENDENT. i wonder what side they’ll end up on at the end.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth.

finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.

i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts.

it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.

really did not help his ego that everyone did

in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.

for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!

shit was not good, though. definitely was not.

despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!

becoming animagi!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like… so many ways

first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like… yikes.

this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point — he gave up on her.

and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy…. that infuriated him.

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ — life heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals — every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just…. popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

I hate him

he’s a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like… boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side…. i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad wELL sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like… idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos.

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

#incendiointro #| ❛ the shackles of a martyr. ❜ ( character study. )#sorry for this absolute trash bag of a recycled intro

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ofprcngs · 6 years

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BRANDON ARREAGA — Well, if it isn’t JAMES POTTER, the GRYFFINDOR superstar. For those of you who don’t know HIM, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re CHARMING and INCISIVE, but they can also seem pretty DEPENDENT and INEXORABLE. Sometimes people call them the SHEPHERD. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them.

i literally have 0 explanation for why i did this other than i’m in love with him. but also, he’s a mess, so jot that down. if you wanna know more about him ( protip: don’t ) then i recommend checking out his pinterest and then i dunno.... contemplate why i’m a punk ass bitch, i guess. enjoy this mess. plot with me. ily.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts.

really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.

shit was not good, though. definitely was not.

becoming animagi!!!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like... so many ways

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy.... that infuriated him.

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ --- life heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals --- every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just.... popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

i hate him.

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like... boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side.... i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad wELL sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like... idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos.

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

WANTED CONNECTIONS

girlfriend: i hate to expose myself as a whole ass jily stan but... here i am i guess. but also, listen: he really thinks he’s over her right now. like, he truly believes his days of pestering lily evans are behind him. it was just a crush! it’s gone! ( spoiler alert: it’s not ) BUT he is so convinced that he has got himself into this relationship which is really just... a mess. like highkey it’s obvious he could never fully love her bc his Heart Belongs to Lily or whatever but he does care for her deeply and has tricked himself into believing it’s love. it’s hard, man. he’s confused. send help.

ex-girlfriend(s): more of above but like... less intense? or more intense! who knows, frankly.

childhood friend(s): i’d die for childhood friends. jake/gina dynamic? iconic. just anything, really.

odd friend: ok like... as i mentioned, he’s still kinda wary of slytherins and ppl who grew up in purist culture, but i would love love love to see someone who was one of the first to show him that not all those people are so bad. like someone from a purist family or the like who was just chill and friendly and actually befriended this asshole even when he was... well, an asshole. it’d be fun, ig. also if they eventually do end up recruited for the de’s bc of family stuff or whatever... bonus points.

rivals: i’m tired. you understand.

#novum:intro #you guys this is... such a mess #im gunna regret posting this in the morning #oh well!!#here we are ig!!!!!!

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mxrvelfreak · 6 years

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spideypool fic ; pt 1

smaknfdkjsal im trying i really am, so here is this, i hope you enjo Y?

[[FYI, PETER IS OF AGE!! no underage shit going on here]]

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[Peter Parker]

The cold night air rushes through my suit. I push my mask up to take a bite of my sandwich. I sigh of relief. It feels nice to look over the city from a high up view (the top of my apartment building), and watch all the city lights and cars. I can even see groups of people walk together to a near club or to a restaurant.

College has been stressing me out. I’m lucky enough to have Ned and MJ in the same college, but the work amount is more than I thought. I still live with Aunt May, mostly because I don’t want to leave her alone, I’ve all she’s got left, and also because I’m broke as hell.

I finish my sandwich and take the time to stretch my muscles. I love moments like these, where nothing else in the world matters and all I pay attention to is my senses. Talking of senses, the back of my head tingles weirdly, and I know something is up. I whip my head to the direction of my tingles and pull my mask down. I run and sling to building to building until I finally sense that the trouble is right here.

It’s a dark alleyway, but I can hear two male voices. I crawl down the building to reach the ground. Goddamnit, Deadpool.

“You killed your own fucking grandma, you sicko. A defenseless sweet grandma. You’re going to learn your lesson by me, returning the favor,” Deadpool says, holding his katana, and raising it up. I instantly web his hand and pull him back to the ground. I web the grandma-killer to the wall.

“Again, Deadpool?” I say. He groans and looks up at me.

“Sorry, baby boy, I couldn’t help myself!”

“Told you not to call me that,” I mumble. I blush under the mask at his nickname for me. I’d die if he saw my blush. I web the criminal in a little cocoon so I can drop him off easily at the station. Deadpool tends to get a little violent. Actually, a lot. He promised that he wouldn’t do things like this, but here we are. I can usually calm him down easily. “C’mon, help me take this guy to the station,” I say, dragging the trapped murder.

“I’d love to sweetums, but you forgot the super-strong-sticky-jizz that’s stuck on my hand.”

I sigh and help him get unstuck to my web.

We drop off the murder at the station, with Deadpool waiting a street away. If he got arrested, he’d get multiple life sentences in prison with just the evidence they have on him. Why am I friends with this guy? He’s straight up a murderer, but yet he can make me blush with only two words. I met him a few months ago, when he yelled at me “IT’S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES, AHHHHHH.”

I leave the station and tag along with him. I’ve never actually had someone who actually wanted to fight with me, so yeah, I guess I’m kind of clingy to him. Even though he drives me absolutely insane. “Need a walk home? It’s late out, and I don’t want anything bad to happen,” he winks at me.

“I can walk and defend myself, Deadpool,” I say.

“Call me Wade, from now on. Just so you know what to scream when I fu--”

“YEAH! Nice name!” I cut him off. There was something up with him today, he never used this much dirty jokes. Plus, why was he even telling me his name? Did he really trust me that much? Should I tell him my name? What the hell are you supposed to do?!

“You alright? You froze up on me,” Wade poke my cheek.

“Huh? Hah, sorry,” I awkwardly say. I realize we’re almost at my house, and I stop walking. The last thing I want is him knowing where I live. “Well, uh, this is where I gotta leave,” I say, painfully awkward.

“See you ‘round, baby boy.” He waves and turns around to leave. I bit my lip.

“Wade?”

He turns around and tilts his head. “Just call me Peter.”

I can see his mask shift into a smile.

“Okay, Peter.” He waves and then skips off. I don’t even realize I’m smiling.

My eyes flutter to close. I gotta pay attention in this class. I’m so tired. I shouldn’t have stayed up that long outside, but then again, I wouldn’t have stopped that murder, and Wade killing another bad guy. Wade. Jesus Christ, that guy is always on my mind. I’ve never seen him actually violent. He’s always so goofy and stupid with me, even though I know he’s broken inside.

Sometimes I wish I could take off his mask. Even if he tell me his face is messed up, I still want to. It’s like I can hear his smile. My stomach does a flip whenever he laughs. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much of a crush on a guy. Like yeah, Chris Pine is the hottest human being on the earth, but it’s not like he can make me feel what Wade makes me feel.

“Peter?” Ned nudges me.

“Huh?” I jump.

“What are you thinking about?” Ned winks at me. “About WaDeEe?”

I visibly choke on my spit. I told him everything when I got home last night. Surprisingly, he was awake, crying about his student loans. “Ned-- stop.”

“You’re not denying, Petey!” Ned giggles. I groan and roll my eyes.

I get home and fall onto the ground from my heavy backpack and exhaustion. I grunt and push my backpack away and lay in a fetal position.

“Peter, someone is here to see you!” Aunt May chimes.

“In a minute,” I grumble. I hear someone walk over to me, and they smell heavily of expensive cologne and faintly shawarma.

“Get up, kid. I gotta talk to you,” he pokes me with his foot. I look up, and of course it’s Mr. Stark. I rub the tiredness out of my eyes and get up. I run my hands through my hair to try and look at least decent, but I know I look like a zombie, and Mr. Stark’s concerned stare proves it.

“Alright, well, I’m going to go run some errands and leave you two at it, okay?” Aunt May smiles. We both nod. Aunt May knows about the Spiderman thing, and she’s often strict about it, so I do still have to sneak out, but she’s more comfortable when I’m with someone like Mr. Stark with me. Aunt May leaves and Mr. Stark instantly starts to talk.

“You’re becoming friends with Deadpool?! Peter, you have no idea how dangerous he is! You have to stay away from him,” Mr. Stark sternly yells at me.

“He really isn’t that bad, Mr. Stark,” I grouse.

“Peter, do you know what kinds of crimes he has commited?!”

“Yes! I do. He’s not doing that stuff anymore,” I’m lying a little on that one. He’s trying to stop, but thanks to me, I’m helping him.

“I don’t trust him to be around you.”

“Stop acting like a dad. I didn’t leave my class to be lectured again,” I groan.

“I may not be your father, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you like one.”

Wait, hold up. “You love me?” Honestly, Uncle Ben has been close on being a father, but he’s dead. Mr. Stark has been really close to being one of them. My pops and my Uncle Ben. The problem is that if I do start becoming attached to Mr. Stark, something bad will happen, and then he’ll be gone.

Mr. Stark just looks at me. “I care about you, kid. And if anything were to happen to you, especially because of him-- I wouldn’t know how to deal.”

I look a him for a second and tackle him for a hug. “Oh--! Okay.” Mr. Stark awkwardly pats me on the back and head. I feel safer whenever I hug Mr. Stark, I guess that’s why I like hugging him. Plus, he smells good. He pulls away from me.

“Don’t worry, by the way. Wade wouldn’t hurt me,” I say. Mr. Stark raises an eyebrow.

“Why are you so sure about that?”

My body decides to blush. “It’s-- I-- he just wouldn’t.”

“Do you have something to tell me, Peter? Is something going on between you two?”

“What? No-- pfft. I’m not gay, what are you talking about? Vaginas, am I right?”

Mr. Stark looks at me unimpressed. “Peter, I am gay. I’m dating Stephen-- I thought I told you this?”

“WHAT?!” I scream. Mr. Stark looks at me weirdly. “I-- what? I never knew?”

“I know a gay when I see one, Peter.”

“Fine. Maybe I’m bi, okay? And maybe he’s been like flirting with me hardcore, and maybe I kinda have crush on the guy, but look, I can’t imagine him hurting me!”

Mr. Stark sighs. “Maybe it’s because you’ve got a huge crush on him. Just, please, know what you’re doing. If he ever comes as close as laying a finger on you, I’ll pay him 10,000 to stay away from you, I swear.”

I laugh and nod. “I gotta go now, but take care, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Mr. Stark fluffs my hair and exits the door. That was weird. I laugh a little. Mr. Stark came all the way here to warn me about Wade, even though he could’ve just called me about it.

---------

wait for pt 2!!! ;) thanks for reading!

#spiderman #spideypool #deadpool #spideypoolfanfic #spideypoolfic #fanfic #gay #marvelfanfiction #mcu #tonystark #peterparker #wadewilson #gayfanfiction #gayfanfic #fanfiction #auntmay

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ms-samusrabbit · 2 years

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It’s late

Too much pain to sleep

Gotta keep distracted

I think my lupus going to kill me…

I can feel it growing worse and worse..

Hair falls out more…fatigue is getting worse… I keep having bad falls but fuck using a cane.. I’m too young for that.. brain fog & mood swings.. heart flutters and half inflated lungs.. butterfly mask is painful as hell more often..

Mom says to try to be positive but she’s got cancer and dad had a heart attack last year.. I know she’s holding back..

I move back to try and help her soon.. the other kids are worn out and ready to leave.. and I mean I’ve had my own life a long time…

They want to do shots in my joints… and the roof of my mouth.. they say I need to be back on corticosteroids & opiates, possibly more.. that shit felt like it was killing me faster and more painfully…

I’m scared of going back on them… is there really no other way…

Both grandmas lived for less than 30 years after being diagnosed… cold hands… warm heart…

I’m told I’m dramatic.. but I can feel it… I can feel my bones.. they hurt.. and I’m scared … doc said they might have to remove my large intestine.. that was 2018 and im ngl I’ve been too terrified to go back… at least it’s been over a year since my last seizure

I don’t want my death to hurt others so I push them all away… I don’t want my pain to bring their moods down… they swear it’s fine but then when I have to cancel because I’ve been puking or am having a hard time walking that day they get upset and claim im just a flake…

My cabinet looks like a pharmacy… I don’t think any of it works…

And honestly… sometimes I wish it would kill me sooner… cuz this slow way out sucks… having some doctors dismiss me claiming im too young to actually have all of these issues after have been diagnosed and tested for years since I was a kid.. and other doctors just not really knowing what to say to me other than they’re sorry and prescribing more pills… then you’ve got detox suburban rich folk asking if I have tried a strict kelp diet that they swore cured their sisters friends cousins cancer…

I can’t tell which is rotting my brain more the inflammation caused by this autoimmune disease I was fuckin born with or the constant bs people like to try spoon feeding me…

“You never know what science will develop in the next 10 years”

Absolutely

Because I’m 25 and I’ve already had to have my heart restarted twice in my life…

I think I’m allowed to simply say.. I’m fuckin tired.. I lived life.. I did the things.. did more than what most do in 70 years on this planet.. im ready.. take me home

Maybe the insomnia will kill me.. just.. something would be nice…

I’m tired of living in pain that’s all.. pain that I’m forced to stay quiet about otherwise I’m a nuisance but somehow at the same time because I’m quiet about it I must be lying.. it must be fake right?

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ctstrophes · 6 years

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have you heard of LIGHTS MAVOR? she is a TWENTY year old survivor in boulder county, who looks like INDIA EISLEY. she is OBSERVANT, which helps her as a COLLECTOR at LIONSCREST MANOR. however, she can also be VOLATILE, so i’d watch out for them. they are known as the THE ANARCHIST.

the mess is back!! honestly i missed this kid so much!! im rlly tired to do a rlly long bio so under the cut u will find the essential info to this absolute trash bag of a kid!!!!! right, i might redo this someday and properly do it but here we go

lights was born as angelica marino, she grew up in new york city but her family was very conservative and closed off, they never let lights do anything that was outside of the ‘normal’ or they classified it as a sin. lights had to grow up like this but she started questioning the ‘whys’ of many things from a very young age making her mother angry at her and even though her father understood the young girl he had to agree with her mom so it was all very difficult yikes!!!

she attended an all girls catholic primary and middle school, she tried never to question her parents anymore but once she got to high school her father convinced her mother to enroll her in a ‘normal’ high school, it was still a pirvate school but now lights finally had the chance to get to know more people and to really learn about the things her parents had held her back from but oh boy that was a mistake. lights had become like a kid in a candy shop, she had learnt so much that she forgot what was right from wrong and now things that her mother had told her were sins just seemed like normal things for her but she couldn’t let her parents now she was changing and learning so instead she started deceiving them ( talk abt hannah montana living that double life)

once lights reached the age of 17 her moral compass was more than broken, she saw wrong things as right things and probably made more mistakes than anyone else but she didn’t regret them, she just saw it as living her life, a life she always felt deprived off. her parents eventually got divorced because lights’ dad couldn’t stand her mom anymore, he couldn’t live with the strict rules and the prejudice but he couldn’t take lights with him. all of this absolutely broke the girl and made her get to a breaking point and she ran away from home. she changed her name to lights in honor of her dad who always called her his little light and thought of a new last name for herself, angelica marino was now buried six feet underground and there was no bringing that girl back. the cross she wore around her neck had now lost all meaning.

lights started hanging around with the very wrong crowd but that was freedom for her, she was happy and she got to be a new person, one that was nothing like the girl her parents had raised. lights was now using her innocent looks and acts to get what she wanted, whether it was money from men or just anything from anyone, with some of her old clothes and that innocent smile she could about fool anyone and that’s when it got worse. sometimes people tried to take advantage of her and she’d usually be able to fight them off but one day it got too far, one day there was no other way she could defend herself other than by stabbing them with the small blade she carried around with her for safety.

since then lights had gotten a certain rush, maybe it was the power of being able to decide whether they lived or died or maybe her brain had now become too messed up now to process that this was a very bad decision that came with consequences, consequences that she couldn’t face due to the outbreak. once the outbreak hit lights made sure to get as far away from new york as possible and ran off to boulder county. she made sure to keep an act of being innocent and clueless and pretty much scared of everything because she thought that would be easier and she’d be seen as less of a threat.

right okay that was long but some little pointers here im sorry that was so messy and all over the place its rlly late

lights basically is just a fuckin psycho but a rlly good one bc all you see when you see light is a very scared girl who probably cries and makes herself very weak passing??

at nights sometimes she goes making bad deals with raiders before killing them ( shes gotta fuel that murder kink)

she absolutely disguting honestly pls hate her but pls love her even tho i dont think she has a good bone in her body anymore

she still always wears her cross that her dad gave her around her neck bc she misses the only person who ever really loved her??

when she snaps she snaps for the worse and can become very violent and just overall aggressive and its bad bc its like shes not even herself anymore

lights is basically the knife emoji

yEa if anyone wants any plots or connections with her pls lemme know, shes been at lionscrest for a good ish amount of months

#hells.intro #im sorry this is so bad #pls love her #or hate her #abuse tw #violence tw

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fantroll-purgatory · 6 years

Photo

Ok, ok. So this is my Highblooded fantroll, Dommih. If your still available, can you please help me out?

Thanks for your patience! As we clear the backlog, your troll caught my eye because of the interesting sprite.

Also, im sorry if its a bit weird, im on the mobile version of tumblr.

FIRST: Alternia or Beforus or some type of AU?

Alternia, my own session of sgrub

Aight, per the rules I gotta be stricter with my sprite edits! I know it’s frustrating but unless otherwise stated we do our best to remain a canon-compliant blog (though the current batch of trolls in the Troll Call have successfully invalidated a number of our former “rules”). In the end I *did* give you a bonus shirtless version since I felt there was detail that went unconveyed with his shirt on.

Name (preferably include how you came up with it and why):

Dommih Presea

The first name i had used a generator. It was one of the only ones that really stood out for me! As for his last name, its was a play on ‘Pixies’ and fish puns, (sea being the pun). I had messed around with the first part for a bit until it started looking somewhat readable. This happened until it is what you see today!

Hmmm I can get down with the last name, but for the first how about Doflin, from the scientific name for the North Pacific giant octopus (Enteroctopus dofleini). It also helps that it kinda sounds like “dolphin,” if you wanna keep going with the nods to oceanic fauna.

Age: 6 sweeps

Strife Specibus: Bident-kind

Fetch Modus: Connect four

If we wanna strengthen the octopus theme, why don’t we go with a MASSIVE Connect Eight? It would be an exceptionally difficult modus from which to retrieve anything, which means Doflin needs to be very quick on his feet! Er, tentacles?

Blood color: Magenta (i would very much love to keep it as it is!)

I’m probably going to adjust it to Feferi’s color which is pretty close to what you already gave me tbh.

Symbol and meaning: his symbol, pictured above, was a twist on Feferi’s own symbol. I simply curved it abit, and added the swirls one end of each side, as you can see!

Honestly I think it fits! I went and resprited it using Feferi’s actual symbol as a base so it reads a little neater but it’s p good. I think you sent this in before the extended zodiac was released, so if you want him further adjusted to fit with the new canon I am more than happy to do so! I personally think Picorn works well because a) I classed him as a Rage player and b) it kinda looks like a tentacle’s sucker.

Lusus: Octopus

I believe all tyrianbloods have Gl’bgolyb as a lusus since there’s only ever supposed to be one at a time, which is just as well since she’s basically a massive octopus anyway. Male tyrianbloods are supposedly exceptionally rare, and trolls are often matched with a lusus of the same gender for whatever reason, so if you’re dead set on having an Octodad in true videogame fashion, it may help to come up with a reason why.

(For example, perhaps Gl’bgolyb gave birth to a horrifying troll-horrorterror hybrid, and Doflin is a test troll who has been given to this hybrid to test if it can be used as a backup parent for backup heirs? It would give Doflin a reason to play in his (presumably doomed) run of SGRUB if he doesn’t have much to do save wait for his antecedent to die, which is unlikely to happen in the near future, and it would also give you a convincing reason for his odd appearance; it doesn’t matter if he’s a mutant since he’s basically a test run who isn’t expected to succeed the Condesce)

Personality: He is a narcissistic troll, who takes pleasure in hurting other trolls and seeing others suffer. He wouldnt care if you were to break your arm, there would be no sympathy. He lies, cheats sometimes, and finally, has stolen from others. However, he only sees it as fun, and doesn’t want to change for anything.

I think the fundamental problem here is that you are describing someone who fits perfectly with Alternian ideals and nothing else. This would be like giving me a bio for a human that said “they like to hang out sometimes!” What does that mean? This doesn’t mean that a character cannot have that trait, but that there needs to be specificity. For example, a character who likes to hang out might do so at a mall, at their friends’ parties, or just invite a person or two to come home and play video games. Each of those details gives a clearer picture of the kind of person it is.

So, give me more details to flesh him out! Does he go wandering around populated areas looking for a fight, or is he the type to meticulously plan a one-man heist? Is this attitude the reason he’s so scarred all over? What’s the story behind that? Answering these questions will help you in the future when you try to stay consistent with his characterization.

Title: Kaiser of Life (i would also love to keep this)

I just looked this up and it looks like, as a fan class, it’s basically Prince of Life but with a higher ranking? It’s my personal bias that most fan classes are easily subsumed by a sufficiently well-explained canon title, but I guess I don’t object to just the cosmetic change. However, the character you’ve described doesn’t seem to be a Life player at all (even one from a destructive class!), especially since your bio doesn��t really specify that he’s a cold-blooded murderer so much as that he’s just…apathetic? I would say he seems more like a Rage player, especially since he’s set in his ways and furthermore narrows others’ options through injury. Personally, I feel he’d make a good Thief of Rage, especially since “high class thief” is a fun trope to play with.

Land: Land of Precipice and Silence

I kinda like Land of Onslaught and Outbursts, an underwater land with active volcanoes that must explode to create a land path to the denizen atop a high mountain. Unfortunately, doing so endangers the aquatic life! It’s a perfect parallel to both his status as a seadweller highblood and is a means of harnessing his own violent outbursts to a greater end.

Dream Planet: Derse (same here!)

I’m always okay with tyrianbloods on Derse, especially since Gl’bgolyb is herself a minor horrorterror.

On to the redesign!

Your sprite was saved a JPEG and much larger than a standard sprite, so I sized it down for comparison and basically made a new one while copying over elements of the original.

Horns - based on your description of his symbol, I figured you were going for horns similar to Feferi’s with minor alterations. So I literally just took Feferi’s horns and added a hook to the end of one of them. I also liked the kind of curly ones you added to the bottom, so I have a miniature version nestled in all that hair.

Hair - I started with a bun base from naphal’s sprite sheet, then merged with with the hair you already gave him, then futzed with it for a long, long time.There’s a new instagram trend called an “octopus bun,” which is basically just a fancy term for the messy bun that we’ve all done if we’ve had long hair that we needed out of the way, but it gave me a good starting point. If you count the tendrils of hair coming off his head, you’ll find that there are eight, and it really does look like there’s an octopus sitting on his head!

Eyes/Scars - I actually just used your existing unscarred eye to create a template for the cleaner ones. The other eye is a little scrunched up due to the scar tissue over it, which I grabbed from this template by fryingpanismyweapon on deviantArt. This is the case for all of the additional scars you see on him.

Freckles - I wasn’t sure if there were freckles on your original troll or just noise from saving it as a JPEG, but between that and the fact that you used a grey tinged with his blood color, I liked the idea of some grey and blood colored freckles on him. I used this template from x_pandatastic_x to get the effect, then messed with the existing ones to get his other freckles. You can see in the shirtless version that I provided that the freckles cover his entire body.

Ears - he’s a seadweller so unless you have a reason he’s gotta have the fin ears.

Mouth - once again, I just took the one you made and cleaned it up a bit! I feel like it has a lot more personality than any sprite sheet template I could conjure up.

Shirt - like I said, if this is an Alternian he still (usually) needs a black something with his symbol on it (though as I mentioned before, recent Troll Call reveals have indicated that it doesn’t need to be as strict as we previously thought). I used naphal’s sprite sheet to give me a base, then messed with it until I got something that resembled a swim shirt. That said, I still gave him a shirtless sprite to show that I kept the chest scars under all that

Fins - I will honestly admit that this is just a spriting limitation for me. I could not for the life of me figure out how to make the fins work on the torso without looking atrocious. I still liked the element, though, so I grafted them onto the backs of his feet with some scar tissue and ripping to boot.

Shorts - I noticed that you did pants for your original sprite, but given his whole concept it really felt like he was more of a swim shorts guy. Once again, I used naphal’s sprite sheet for a base, then added details like the drawstring to try and fit with what you were originally going for. The teal color you used for the majority of the shorts in your sprite didn’t really track for me without a solid reason, so I tried to devise my own color scheme. I came up with the purple pockets to reference Gamzee, the best-known canon rage player, and the blue underlining as a reference to Vriska, the thief. This is much in line with Feferi’s coloring which takes from Jade, the Beta Kids’ Witch, and Jane, the Alpha Kids’ Life player. As a bonus, it looks like that really specific color combo that all those soccer moms wore on their windbreakers in the late 90s/early 00s? I don’t know if you want to go that tacky, but I had a lot of fun doing so, and feel that there’s canon support given that every tyrianblood we’ve seen so far has been notoriously tacky with their fashion choices.

Feet - The barefoot one is from tajazzled/fan-troll’s now-ubiquitous sprite sheet. You used some fairly standard shoes for him, which worked just fine, but after I made the foot fins I wanted to give him footwear that made sense to me. Since one of them is ripped, I figured some scuba flippers would be a good way for him to get around underwater. This one is modified from fantrollartroom’s templates.

Aaaaand that’s it! I really liked your character a lot, and I hope you like the changes I made!

-TR

#alice-from-wnderland #fuchsiablood #tyrianblood #dommih presea #doflin presea #dommih #doflin #presea #review #redesign #tr review #submission

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bi-antagonist · 7 years

Note

For the ask meme: May I ask 002 for Lance and/or Shiro from Voltron (feel free to answer just one or both, ur choice!)

002 for LANCE (im on mobile so no bold or italics, sorry)How I feel about this character: I. Love. Him. He's my fav. I relate to him so hard too like? Acting like you're the best when in reality you feel like shit? Sign me the fuck upAll the people I ship romantically with this character: Keith, Hunk, that mermaid whose name I forgot... They haven't interacted with much shipable people besides the team, so that's pretty much it? I mean, I've seen people shipping him with Lotor, but for me it's weird to so ship it since... ya know... the asshole ain't even on the cartoon yetMy non-romantic OTP for this character: Him and Pidge! That duo is just five stars, man. Him and Hunk too I guess (any relationship between him and Hunk is good for me)One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want my boy to lead Voltron. Yeah, I support the black paladin Lance theory. I like him in those positions of leadershipMy OTP: klance, tho I dont ship it as much as I used toMy cross over ship: Him and Sokka for the single fact that they are very similar A headcanon fact: I love how everyone just accepted that Lance is Meme Trash™, like, thank you vld fandom you did something right for once. The boy is also amazing at dancing and singing, and you can pry this hc from my cold dead hands002 for SHIROHow I feel about this character: people see him as a Dad™ but like... he's more of that tired older brother who tries to keep everything under control but in reality just wants to take a vacation in Hawaii and never come backAll the people I ship romantically with this character: All hail Shiro x Sleep, the only safe ship.Just kidding. I don't really ship him with anyone? I mean, I see the appeal in most Shiro related ships, but yeah. I don't ship him with anyone. My non-romantic OTP for this character: him and Keith, for obvious reasons; him and sleep, cause he needs some rest; him and Allura, cause Space Parents™. Maybe I can add Matt here once the boy shows upOne thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: oooh I want him to be brainwashed and go to the dark side. Give me all the Shiro angst.My OTP: -My cross over ship: Idk, him and Tadashi Hamada? A headcanon fact: all the headcanons that make him cool and not just a strict, boring leader are welcome. Like, sometimes I'm reading a fic and Shiro's there and he's just so bland? Like? I like it when people actually stay true to his character but still give him the young dude vibe and make him go to starbucks or something. The guy is their leader, but he's still their friend. I think people sometimes forget Shiro is as close to everyone on the team as Pidge or Hunk are, and it's sad. Thankfully I follow the right people.Also gotta love that headcanon where, when he was younger, he was as hot headed as Keith. And the one where he was the ultimate frat boy at the garrisonWow lance is my fav but I made a thesis on shiro, wtf is my life now

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maariku · 7 years

Text

He’s Well Hung & I Am Hanging On [Rockstar AU Prequel]

[Rockstar AU main thread] ; done with @oregashujinkaku

[jheeny3000 has joined the chat]

[PABLOO has joined the chat]

jheeny3000: pabloooooooooooo

PABLOO: yo

jheeny3000: he in yet

PABLOO: nah man

PABLOO: but i got updates too yo

jheeny3000: yeah?

PABLOO: ye my bands playing at charlie's pub this friday

jheeny3000: noice u gotta tell skeeter

[noranora has joined the chat]

PABLOO: ye i will

PABLOO: yo nora

PABLOO: saw u the other night that was a sick show!

jheeny3000: yo noraaaa

noranora: hey

noranora: omg thanks

noranora: i didn't see you there!

noranora: is skeeter here yet?

jheeny3000: nah but yo pablo's band is playing at charlies on friday

noranora: sweeeet when? i'll drop by!

PABLOO: prob like nine that would be cool ye

noranora: jon hows your music coming?

jheeny3000: fucken stalled girl

jheeny3000: mikey bailed so we need a new drummer

PABLOO: what a fag

noranora: oh shit :( good luck with that

jheeny3000: yeahhhhhhhhh whatevs he was a dick

PABLOO: didnt he try to hook up with that guys sister

[princemalik has joined the chat]

jheeny3000: idr probably lmao he hooks up with everyone

[skeeter has joined the chat]

jheeny3000: SKEEEEET

jheeny3000: skeet man

PABLOO: yo skeet what up

skeeter: sup what i miss

noranora: pablo's playing at charlies on friday! :)

skeeter: sick gig man

jheeny3000: yo skeet u know a drummer? ours bailed

skeeter: nah man sorry

jheeny3000: shit

skeeter: karim might

jheeny3000: truuu

noranora: hey who is princemalik

PABLOO: idk hasnt said anything yo skeet u coming to charlies for me?

skeeter: i'll try man

princemalik: hey

noranora: hi :)

PABLOO: yo wtf wheres karim i got fken class in an hour

jheeny3000: dont sweat it pablo we'll tell him about charlies

jheey3000: you dont gotta spread it out to everyone like a flier lmao

PABLOO: shut up man karim got me this gig

noranora: oh cool! is he playing too?

PABLOO: idk i think so

jheeny3000: well now im def going

PABLOO: ur a faggot man fuck you

skeeter: just texted him he's coming on

PABLOO: FINALLY

noranora: he's in uni pablo he's probably busy

PABLOO: we're all busy damn man

jheeny3000: skeet did he get a new phone

skeeter: idk

jheeny3000: i asked his number he said he lost his phone last week

PABLOO: lmaoooooo you fuckin got skid man

jheeny3000: asshole wtf i cant believe him

[mkarim has joined the chat]

jheeny3000: fuck him

PABLOO: lmao nice

noranora: omg

noranora: hey karim

jheeny3000: yo man u fix ur fuckin phone

PABLOO: dude

PABLOO: duuude dont

PABLOO: karim yo i got that gig on friday

jheeny3000: IGNORED palbo damn

PABLOO: palbo

PABLOO: yo where is he wtf

noranora: you guys have no chill

mkarim: hey nora

mkarim: nice pablo thats sick im gonna be there all night my boys are getting trashed haha

PABLOO: sweeet hey man i'll see u there

mkarim: for sure

jheeny3000: karim u got a drummer i can use

mkarim: what happened to mikey

jheeny3000: got enaged r smth

mkarim: aw

noranora: awww thats sweet

mkarim: hey whos princemalik

jheeny3000: no its fukn gay

jheeny3000: dk he doesnt fkn talk just sqautting

mkarim: doesnt malik mean king

mkarim: prince king?

mkarim: your highness do you play or do you watch

princemalik: i play

princemalik: someone in another chatroom told me to join this one

princemalik: something about this song i wrote

skeeter: oh yo that was me hey man sorry i blanked

skeeter: karim dm him he has some stuff you should hear sounds like yours

noranora: ooooh can we hear it?

mkarim: oh yeah? cool okay

jheeny3000: sounds like his how

jhneey3000: like rip off or like what

skeeter: like style man

PABLOO: i gotta go to class

PABLOO: see u guys friday?

PABLOO: charlies?

jheeny3000: jfc pablo we'll be there fk off with the self promo

noranora: we'll be there! :)

mkarim: see you man

PABLOO: kk

[PABLOO has left the chat]

jheeny3000: karim yo you never told me about the drummer situation

jheeny3000: you got one?

noranora: i think he’s afk again

jheeny3000: jfc skeet can u text him or smth

[princemalik has left the chat]

jheeny3000: skeeeeet

[mkarim has left the chat]

jhneey3000: r u fuck serious rn

noranora: i'm sorry j :/ i'll try to be on the lookout for you

jheeny3000: fucking faggots jfc

[jheeny3000 has left the chat]

[private message: mkarim@ princemalik]

mkarim: hey your highness

mkarim: so you got a link to these songs?

princemalik: yeah, hold on

princemalik: https:youtu.be/dQwwWgXcQ

mkarim: I like this

mkarim: I really like this

mkarim: you do this alone? how long have you been playing

princemalik: yeah

princemalik: oh man idk since I was a kid, I started taking singing lessons when I was eight I think

princemalik: you?

mkarim: christ lmao

mkarim: one of those kids huh

mkarim: I started like fifteen or something I think

mkarim: no I like this though skeet was right it does sound like my stuff

mkarim: kind of punk right?

princemalik: yeah, alternative I guess

princemalik: so, do I get to hear some of your stuff or what?

princemalik: so you started at fifteen... how old are you now?

mkarim: yeah sure here

mkarim: https:youtu.be/dXwqQjXcX

mkarim: thats one of the newer ones

mkarim: 20

mkarim: u?

princemalik: yeah, me too

princemalik: holy shit, this is really good, you have like a band or something?

mkarim: yeah we play a bit in bars and stuff

mkarim: small venue stuff

mkarim: we're playing at charlie's on friday after pablo's band, you should come, are you in LA?

princemalik: nah I don't live in the states, actually

princemalik: that sounds really cool though, maybe you could get someone to record it for me?

princemalik: that's not weird to ask, is it?

mkarim: no we post live vids on our channel you can check it out

mkarim: we're called endeverafter

mkarim: shame youre not close would be cool to jam sometime with a guy with music like yours

mkarim: you thinking of starting a band of your own?

princemalik: yeah absolutely I'll check it out

princemalik: I've been talking to some of the guys in my class about it, the guitarist's dad owns a bar in the city he told us when we get some songs together we can play there

princemalik: so, do you speak Arabic or did you google my name?

mkarim: right on you gotta take him up on that let me know how it goes

mkarim: lol I speak it I was born just outside cairo

mkarim: I take it youre native too?

princemalik: yeah, I will.

princemalik: hey, me too. When did you move out to the states? What's it like?

mkarim: maybe five ago

mkarim: its amazing I love the city here

mkarim: so much to do, tons of clubs, people are just generally into more stuff

mkarim: I could never go back after being here its like a whole other world

mkarim: its expensive though

princemalik: yeah? Worse than Cairo you think?

princemalik: I've always wanted to visit, it seems like everyone is more chill there, more accepting, y'know?

mkarim: definitely steeper. I got an apartment I share with three other guys rn

mkarim: they definitely are

mkarim: are you in school still?

princemalik: oh wow that's a lot, sounds like it could be a lot of fun tho

princemalik: yeah I am, you?

mkarim: yeah, second year. I think I'm done honestly though getting tired of this and the bands doing so well, we're getting signed in a few months, probably start touring

princemalik: holy shit you're getting signed? That's amazing, good for you guys. You gotta make sure the tour comes through here lol

mkarim: lmao yeah just for you your majesty

mkarim: what are you studying

princemalik: that's right, a private viewing just for me lol

princemalik: music theory

princemalik: what about you, something boring?

mkarim: yeah

mkarim: the only way my dad would pay for me to move here and go to school was if I studied what he wanted

mkarim: worth it to get away from him so I figure why not I can drop it out once I save up my own money

mkarim: sorry you don't need to know that shit

princemalik: it's alright

princemalik: don't get along very well with your dad, huh?

mkarim: no

mkarim: do you live at home?

princemalik: that sucks, sorry man

princemalik: yeah, with my father and my sister

mkarim: older or younger? she into music too?

princemalik: older and nah not really

princemalik: she's more into like clothes and stuff

princemalik: you have any siblings?

mkarim: ooh fashionista lol

mkarim: no its just me

mkarim: that I know of lol

mkarim: isn't it late there now? youre like ten hours ahead aren't you?

princemalik: yeah she makes her own jewelry and everything she's pretty good at it

princemalik: yeah but it's the weekend tomorrow I'll just sleep in

mkarim: fair enough

mkarim: so what else are you into

princemalik: not a lot, with school and practice that takes up most of my time y'know

princemalik: I read a lot, mostly keep to myself

princemalik: what about you, you seem pretty outgoing. I bet you have groupies already

mkarim: hahahaa yeah I guess kind of

mkarim: we go out a lot here like I said theres a lot of places to go

mkarim: do you party?

princemalik: yeah, sometimes

princemalik: there's some really nice clubs here but my dad is pretty strict so I've gotta get creative

mkarim: lol youre 20 man why do you stay at home? move out, get your own place, party any time you want. why let him rule you?

princemalik: I don't really have a job right now, I couldn't afford living on my own anyway.

princemalik: he's not too bad

mkarim: if you say so

mkarim: I gotta get going. rehearsal. i'll talk to you later, prince lol

princemalik: alright lol see ya

princemalik: you up yet? How did your rehearsal go?

mkarim: hey sorry I hardly go on the chats here

mkarim: jon keeps bugging me about everything hes really annoying lol

mkarim: you can text me though that might be easier?

princemalik: yeah absolutely just send me you number

mkarim: 5552814

Hey it's the king. So how was rehearsal, you go to any wild parties?

the king huh lol it was fine, just practicing for friday. probably having an after party then we'll see we'll see ;)

Hey, I didn't name myself lol. Nice, have fun. I'm going out Friday night too, it's not gonna be anywhere near as wild as your party though I'm sure.

whats your sisters name I bet its like Amira or something lol. you gonna party or got a hot date?

No lol it's Ishizu. Just clubbing with some friends, I'm not really dating anyone right now. What about you, you got a girlfriend or something?

or something. nah not really with anyone now.

so I listened to a few more of your songs on your yt, you've got good chords man. i'm still reeling that you put all that together by yourself.

That means a lot, especially from someone with as much experience as you, thank you. Hey, if you ever need some guest vocals you know who to call lol

haha yeah if you ever flew to LA to sing. wouldn't be bad though we all suck, we could use someone like you. shame. what do you play most?

Mostly just sing, keyboard. I started learning guitar years ago but I'm kind of a wuss with my hands I hate he callouses lol. What do you play?

lol aw the poor royal hands. I love guitar, i play bass mostly though.

Got the short end of the stick huh? You're really good at the vocals too, you have a good voice for it. You could be lead if you wanted to.

nah i don't think ive got the right stage presence for lead or something. i like bass its ok

That's something you learn, though, right? You seemed to handle yourself pretty well in those videos.

ahh you watched those eh yeah they're kind nsfw I guess but so are the songs

Yeah they were really good though, you're very good looking.

ahahahaa thanks. You make any videos?

What, of just me? Nah, that's kind of weird and embarrassing lol. Maybe if the whole band thing takes off we will.

nah do like acoustic stuff. Girls love that shit. Besides, if you're good looking too it'll get you more views

Do they? lol Yeah, maybe I'll try it. Something with my keyboard, maybe.

yeah and then link me. That's not weird to ask right lol

Nah it's only fair I guess. I'll have to borrow my father's camera no way my phone is gonna do it.

lol okay well good luck with that I look forward to it

Did you still wanna see that video? I'm kinda nervous about posting it honestly.

what video?

oh yeahhh oh yeah send it over

I sent the link in our chat. Promise not to laugh too much.

i promise

damn thats good man.

i mean it sounds as good the camera allows but you look great too man lol your views will definitely skyrocket if you post that

Oh wow thanks lol. Yeah I think I'm gonna do it. May as well start getting myself out there, y'know?

you absolutely should. i swear its a lot easier to get noticed here though i think, like we've only been playing a year maybe and we're growing fast. it's just LA

A year?? That's so fast. Man I've gotta get out there some day.

you sure do. how was your weekend?

Boring. I spent most of it helping my father clean out the garage, wrote some new stuff. What did you do, Mr. Rockstar?

lol what happened to that party you were going to? i went out man I don't even remember what I did last night we got so fucked

I didn't end up going we'll probably go this weekend instead. Actually I might have some friends over Tuesday while my father's out of town. It must've been a lot of fun then lol.

that sucks. sounds like a shitty weekend. does your sister live at home with you guys i can't remember if you told me

Yeah, I did she does. If I'm extra nice to her she won't tell on me lol

lol better start doing her chores then. you wanna show me some of your new stuff? do you start with lyrics or music?

I already did her laundry today lol. Sure, how do you want me to show you? I always start with the lyrics, it helps me get an idea of where I'm going. You write any of the stuff for your band?

yeah some of the lyrics but the lead does most of the music, he's just got an ear for it. whatever is easier for you, depends on how much you have I guess? we can call if it helps.

Not too much, its mostly bits and pieces. Yeah we can call if you want that would be cool.

Alright give me a sec

[Incoming call: Karim]

#rockstar prequel #oregashujinkaku

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turtles-are-queer · 6 years

Text

Okay so like pattons a human right

And he moves into this old GGGGIIIAAANANTTTT house

That has demons ghosts and vampires in it

Right

And logans a fucking demon

But patton doesnt take his shit and just becomes a weird roomate

And virgils this ghost boi and hes just kinda there

Like "sup how are ya"

"AAAAAHHH virgil please stop just apearing its spooky"

One day pattons trying to catch this bat in his attic and remys just like "uckin hands off me gremlin" and pattons just "oh! Sorry i didnt realize!" And remys just *"human form" but like a vampire* "ya bitch, lets get some damn starbucks"

Romans his friend

But hes like a witch

But not like the real witches yknow, hes like harry potter wand steryotyp, definetly rides a broom just to be an extra fuck

So like this house is fuckin huge too okay. It was super cheap because ghost vamp and 2 demons. Its supperrr old and like a mansion but its spooky

Patton doesnt know its spooky when he buys it

But the moment he enters the house all 4 of them are just "kay we cant kick this one out look, no ones swept the floor in 5 years, he cleaned the damn window"

Oh yeah okay deceits a demon

But also like hes one trying to be a normal demon but it doesnt fuking work

Like *standing ominously in a hallway with glowing eyes*

Patton: "logannnnn hes doing it again!"

Logan: go to bed deceit, we cant keep doing this

So roman is liek "a moved huh? How is it?"

"Kinda weird? I have a few roomates you should meet!"

"I thought... You were living alone?"

"Yeah thats what i thought too"

Roman comes over and remy just slides down the staircase like "WHO BROUGHT SILVER INTO THIS DAMN HOUSE PATTON YOU K N O W I CANT DO SILVER"

Patton gets a text like "who is wearing the anti demon symbol? Youre upseting de"

Virgils just like "oooooo* breaks a plate on his head*

Patton: "Virgil! This is our guest!"

They all become good friends after a while but the only thing holding them together is

patton

Remy sometimes asks for a drink

Patton gives him starbucks

Remy is always like "ou know thats nowhat i meant" and still drinks it anyway

Roman definetly is over at that house every other night

12 guest bed rooms? Hell yeah sleep overs!

And he does magic ALL. THE. TIME. No thoughts over consequences

Just "hey can i do an explosion spell ive never tried on this apple as it sits on your head?"

"SURE!"

Logan, who has grown attached: no the fuck you wont

" deceit can you please stop the ominous steps! I have to go to work tommorow i need sleep!"

Roman accidently introduces virgil to emo music and suddenly patton has to give virgil a curfew kn when hes allowed to blast music in the basement cause he needs sleep

Roman "AH FUCK A BIRD" *frantically swatting at remy*

Remy: THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME? THE SECOND YOU TAKE OFF THAT SILVER EARRING IM GONNA FUCKING TAKE ALL OF YOUR BLOOD

Roman yeets another plate into the abyss, smashing it on the fridge. "Boys! Come on please someones gotta replace these plates!"

Roman and virgil: "sorry pat... "

I hate everything my first thought was Patton punishing them with "get on top of the fridge! Get up there!" vine

" this hoUSE IS A FUCKING N I G H T M A R E"

Virgil: "No shit sherlock theres 54 things in this house that could kill you and im not even counting the supernatural yet"

One of the 54 things on Virgil's list is the blender. He does Not Trust It

No one knows when he died, least of all him. He definetly is suspicious of all technology

Remy uses a perfect mix of old slang and new slang

He cant exactly.. CONTROL some of his demon like qualitys and he hates it. He tries to be profesional and stay calm but then hes crawling on the ceiling and pattons got the spray bottle again and hes like "fuck"

Sometimes tries to murder people

Has tries to murder roman twice

Got the spray bottle

Has stopped

I wouldn't expect anything less

Please tell me he's got a pavlovian fear response to any and all spray bottles now

No not all spray bottles, for instance if he sees a bottle of windex he thinks "thank god, someones cleaning" but if he sees the " bad demon" spray bottle then he immedietly focuses harder on not doing The Thing™

The bottles just filled with Water. Thats it. Its not holy water or anything cause patton doesnt wanna hurt him, but he keeps it in the fridge so its cold water and wakes him up a bit and makes him more aware of what hes doing

Deceit sometimes goes in timeout within a salt circle if hes killed something or someone

Salt circle of shame

Deceit and remy work tagteam. Deceit murders them, remy gets the blood. But they dont just like murder anyone, only peices of shit like sometimes de will be being all spooky in an ally and see some asshat trying to rape someone, immedietly murders them and remy gets a Nice Sip

Virgil knows but doesnt see a reason to bring it up since hes seen alot of murders in his life.

No one knows how

Hes ominous

Only i know for now

Remy apoligises for having virgil watch since he looks and acts like a teenager, but virgil just shrugs and says that. Remy is Suspicious™

He thinks he's kidding at first but it happens again and Virgil is, if possible, even more deadpan about it, and then he /suspects/

Patton is Worried™ when virgil says stuff like that. Like pattons a bit decensitized to death after a while of living with them and one day he like "oh virgi! Dont look over there deceit left another corpse! Ugh its just awful"

"Ive seen worse"

"Virge no-"

Pattin gives logan a pair of his old glasses since logan cant fuckin see

Virgil got long hair fuck you

Roman introduced virgil to memes. Worst mistake hes ever made

“Where you ever human logan?”

“At a time, yes. However, i do not remember anything from that time in my life”

“Was deceit?”

“No, patton. Hes never known a shred of humanity.”

“Who did this to you two?”

“I wish i knew… i would assume only satan himself could turn a man into a hideous beast like me”

“I dont think youre a monster lo..”

“..... Thank you Patton”

Logan and deceit eat souls. In this universe, a sould is stored in the heart. Already dead people dont have souls anymore, they have already became a ghost, or moved to an afterlife.

No you cannot eat a ghost.

Souls taste different

Pattons would taste like berries and hot chocolate.

There is a strict “no eating patton” rule set in place by virgil

Yes, this rule does extend to remy

No he cannot have “just a sip”

Virgil does NOT like the appliences in the house.

Hes scared of the blender.

After patton had fully moved in, he was wandering around the kitchen one night and pushed a button on the blender

When it started making noise and moving virgil promptly screamed and threw it at the wall

He apoligized to patton once they became friends.

He is scared of the washing machine too

Reny started living there about 50 years ago

Virgil TRIED to get him to leave before they could eat him

Remy assured him he had no soul since he was a vampire and just kept coming back to sleep there.

They sorta just accepted it

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