#like im not surprised they did the Trump dance

[bom-bombon]

I really hope the usmnt gets absolutely humiliated in the world cup

[pedriache]

Nervous — Jude Bellingham.

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Fem!Reader

Summary: Jude, who you couldn’t bear to be around, was suddenly making you very nervous.

Word count: 900+

Disclaimer/s: banter , dancing , alcohol, yeah idk

A/N: Hai ! Home from vacation and finally writing again bless up! Side note: if trump wins im going to have to take a hiatus while I figure out a plan to move to Barcelona.

The club was full of energy. People around you danced and sang along to whatever lyrics were playing, their drinks sloshing around in their cups, dangerously close to spilling. Yet you were huddled in a corner, out of your element completely.

You weren’t used to these types of things. Sure, you attended parties, but that was only when you had to. So standing under the flashing lights, a black dress clinging to your body uncomfortably… well, it just wasn’t very fun.

A presence beside you brought you out of the self pitying thoughts. Glancing up, you internally groan. Your eyes instantly rolling as you let out a huff of annoyance. “What do you want?”

Jude looks down at you, his lips pulling into that familiar smirk you hated so much. “You looked lonely.” He shrugs, his eyes flickering to your dress for a moment. “Nice dress.” He drawls.

It was a small compliment, but it had to not-so-subtly shifting on your feet as you used one hand to tug the hem of it further down your thigh. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

The taller man gasps, using both his hands to clasp over his heart to show his offense. “Hey! I was being serious! You look.. pretty.”

Your eyebrows pull together, causing a crease to form between them. You weren’t sure why, but that had sent a wave of heat to your cheeks. At that moment, you were quite grateful for the strobe lights as they concealed your predicament well.

“Oh, shut up.” You scoff, “why don’t you leave me alone and go dance with randoms or something?” Your snarky reply is only met with a laugh, which made you grow even more irritated.

“Aw, come on! I’ll go.. if you join me.” He nudges your shoulder with his, “please?”

Glancing up at him, your eyebrows shoot up in surprise when you’re met with a serious looking Jude. “Yeah, no. Hard pass. And not just because of you.”

Jude rolls his eyes at your stubbornness. “Down whatever you have in that cup, get some energy, and let’s dance!”

You weren’t exactly sure why you did what you did, but you tilted the cup to your lips and took two big gulps of the burning substance. Setting the glass down on the table you let out a long breath. “Whatever. No touching me.” You point at him with narrowed eyes.

Jude puts his hands up in feigned surrender. “No touching, got it.”

Leading the way, you make a path toward the black and white tiled floor. You had to push your way through, but with Jude close behind, you both made it to a tiny open space.

Turning to face him, you have to fight the roll of your eyes at his prideful smile. Ignoring him, you find a comfortable rhythm. Your eyes close as you sway to the music, only opening when the beat changes, your eyes connecting with Jude’s. He was watching you, the smile lines near his eyes prominent as he does so.

“Ew, don’t look at me like that.” You make a disgusted face, but that doesn’t deter the man.

He cocks his head to the side, a small laugh escaping his lips. “I’ve just never seen you dance before.”

“Yeah, well. Don’t get used to it.” You scowl, “I don’t see you dancing.” You point out, but you’re only met with another teasing grin on his part.

“I don’t dance, not without a partner.”

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks once again. Your mouth opens and closes about four times before you give in. Taking the few strides toward him, he sucks his teeth, suppressing the smug look at threatened at his face.

“Don’t make me regret this.” You snap, turning around to face the DJ’s booth and away from Jude’s stupidly pretty face. You try not to stiffen when his hands rest on the curves of your hips, but by the soft chuckle you hear next to your ear, you know he noticed.

“Don’t be nervous, it’s just me.” Jude teases but a hint of sincerity laced his voice, his face far too close to yours as he does so, sending shivers crawling up your spine.

You refuse to look at him as you speak, “I am not.”

“Sure you aren’t.” He laughs, spinning you around. A sharp gasp escapes your lips as you come face to face with him.

You find yourself at a loss for words, every rebuttal seemed to be caught in your throat. All you could get out was a strangled cough. Jude finds great pleasure in your loss for words, because a smirk adorned his face when you didn’t speak.

“Exactly.” He continues smugly, which you don’t even roll your eyes at for once. You just let out a heavy breath and look away, too at a loss for words to even function properly.

Jude doesn’t comment on this, just sways along with you to the music, his fingers pressing into your hips all the while, like you’d leave him at any given moment. But you don’t, you stay there until your feet physically couldn’t take it anymore.

And when you finally had enough, the man was decent enough to help you back to your seclusion corner for a rest. But even though you’d stayed there silently, he stood beside you with a small content smile on his face.

Likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. Lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[fandomlit]

proximity concert (corpse husband x reader)

requested by @greenie-of-shield “reader is friends with like James Charles and is really good at guitar or ukulele and singing and one day they are all streaming together and like they hear reader playing in the background of someone’s mic and ask who it it’s like James is like “ooh yeah this is my friend (y/n)” they all say hi and corpse compliments her voice and like they ask her to play among us with them and when she dies in among us she plays music for her stream or her friends in proximity chat and stuff. She and corpse get close cause of music and it spirals into like a friends to lovers or something”

summary you’re hanging in the background as your dear friend james charles records an among us video with some youtuber friends (pewdiepie and his usual gang). you decide to entertain james with some ukulele and singing, and end up gaining the welcome attention of youtube’s beloved horror narrator.

warning swearing, sexual reference

gif cred belongs to @datchidatchi​

“let’s go!” james cheered when his screen displayed a bright blue crewmate label. you cheered behind him, your voice distant and the sight of you blurry on his camera as you raised your ukulele to cheer with him. he laughed. “oh wait, im not supposed to be muted, we’re using proximity..” you laughed as he unmuted himself and went to do his tasks.

james groaned as he began to download in weapons, slumping against his desk. “this is the most boring task for no reason,” he complained. then he turned to you suddenly and you gave him a surprised look. “y/n, queen, can you sing me a song to pass time?”

you laughed but nodded at your best friend, beginning to strum your ukulele into an upbeat tune. james cheered at the familiar tune. before you could sing the first line out, he waved you over. you paused your strumming to question, “what?”

“come to the mic!” he exclaimed. “let the people hear your beautiful voice!”

you laughed again and went over to his mic. “hi,” you spoke closely into his mic, looking into his camera. he laughed as you leaned back and began to strum the tune again. “sittin’ all alone, mouth full of gum in the driveway..”

james was too busy dancing and you were too busy singing to notice his download had finished and many people had come and go through weapons during the entire scene.

“my friends aren’t far, in the back of my car lay their bodies,” you sang smoothly. “where’s my mind? where’s my mind?” you grinned. “they’ll be there pretty soon, lookin’ through my room-” you cut yourself off as an emergency meeting was called. you clapped a hand over your mouth and pressed a quick kiss to james’s cheek before sneaking back into the background.

james gaped at the perfect lipstick mark you had left on his cheek as toast spoke, “okay, does anyone else hear the ukulele playing or am i going crazy?”

“i was actually just about to ask about that,” corpse spoke. james’s camera zoomed in on your shocked face at his voice.

‘is that corpse?’ you mouthed. james nodded, leaning to mute himself.

“crazy, right?” he laughed. you nodded frantically as he turned back to the game.

“so who is it..?”

“it’s me, guys, sorry,” james spoke. “well, not me, but it’s coming from my room.”

“.. what?”

“my friend y/n is here entertaining me,” james laughed as he explained. “but im honored you’d think my voice is as angelic as hers.”

“i will kiss you!” you exclaimed, loud enough that the mic could pick up your voice. they all burst into laughter.

“sorry,” james said again.

“no, it’s okay, i was just making sure people were doing their tasks,” toast chuckled. “cause i don’t think you can play the ukulele and among us at the same time..”

“not as good as y/n did, anyway,” corpse backed up.

“yeah.”

“your voice is very pretty,” corpse complimented. you placed a hand to your heart as james grinned at you teasingly.

“thank you!” you called over. they laughed simply at the distance and abruptness of your voice. “i think your voice is pretty, too! just like the deep part.” james burst into hysterical laughter.

“thank you,” corpse chuckled. “we, uh, we can skip now.”

“you made him flustered,” james said, turning to you after everyone had dispersed to finish their tasks.

“here, wait, find him,” you spoke, scooting your chair up next to james’s mic. 

“you got it, sis.”

james found corpse alone in electrical. corpse turned away from his task to stare down james. “are you here to kill me?”

“no,” james laughed.

“we’re here to sing!” you spoke into the mic.

“oh, great,” corpse chuckled.

“any requests?” you asked, picking at your strings to make sure they were tuned.

“uh.. something with cuss words.”

james let out a loud laugh as you giggled. “okay, i can do that.” you thought for a moment before looking down to your strings, “fuck you, and you, and you. i hate your friends and they hate me, too. im through, im through, im through. this that hot girl bummer anthem turn it up and throw a tantrum.

“this that got girl bummer anthem turn it up and throw a tantrum, this that throw up in your birkin bag, hook up with someone random. this that social awkward suicide that-” a body was reported and you cut yourself off again as corpse groaned.

“guys, i was getting a concert,” corpse complained as you and james laughed.

“okay, well, sykkuno is dead, so i think that trumps your concert,” pj sassed.

“where was his body?”

..

after that round, and much more entertainment of your uke playing, the crewmates managed to beat out the imposters; toast and felix.

“y/n, you should join,” corpse spoke as you all loaded back into the lobby.

“yeah!” rae agreed, many others piping up to encourage you in.

“shit, i don’t know where my laptop is,” you laughed.

“go find it!” james exclaimed. “corpse wants you to play!”

“oh my god, hold up,” you said, handing james your uke and running out of the room.

“so, corpse,” james spoke, strumming your uke as best as he could with his long nails. “what are your intentions with my girl, y/n?” everyone burst into laughter, including the now red-faced faceless youtuber.

..

you were the first to die. gasped at your screen, you grabbed your ukulele. you had gone into a separate room from james to be able to play fairly, but you weren’t very good at the game in the first place.

“james!” you yelled out.

“yeah?”

“request?”

there was a pause. “something sad!”

“got it!” you sighed as you turned back to your laptop screen, considering. you had begun streaming to your youtube when they asked you to join, and now your chat was blowing up with sad song requests. “oh, that’s a good one. thanks..” you let out a laugh. “corpselover3340. i got you, hun.”

you started to strum the song, but as you were playing, corpse’s ghost appeared by yours. “hello, y/n.” you stopped your playing, sitting up straight.

“oh, hi, corpse!” you exclaimed. “request?”

“cuss words, please.”

you laughed. “i got you, i got you..” you considered before beginning to play, “a few weeks ago, i could only do ten pushups. six months ago, i thought you were my girl. but now things have changed, and im so tired. i thought that i was your world. but now you’ve got new friends, and you have all beginnings, well i’ve got ends.. that i didn’t want.

“and yeah, you fucked some other dude.. i guess he loves u more than i do.”

“there it is.”

“what?” you asked, looking up from your uke with a laugh.

“oh, i was just waiting for the cuss word. continue.” 

you let out a laugh, but just before you could start playing again, a dead body was reported.

“sean’s body was electrical..”

..

the round was long. after you serenaded corpse a few times, you both talked about music and how you both got into it. eventually, it was just james, felix, rae, and sykkuno left.

“well, there’s only one imposter left..,” sykkuno sighed after calling the meeting. 

“i think it’s felix.”

as they all started pointing fingers at each other, james was mostly quiet, to your absolute surprise. then, interrupting a yelling match between rae and felix, james spoke, “do you think y/n and corpse are fucking in ghost chat?”

before anyone could react, corpse unmuted himself to confirm, “yes.” everyone exploded into laughter, you included. as innocently as he could, corpse spoke, “oh, was i unmuted? my bad..” and he muted himself again.

after that round and everyone had gotten their aggressions out on each other, sean reminded everyone with a laugh, “fucking in the ghost chat.. i can’t.”

you all laughed at the reminder.

“oh, y/n, we should go,” james sighed. “we gotta get that video edited before midnight.”

you sighed with him. “yeah, that’s gotta get done.. thank you all for letting me play, it was a lot of fun.”

“bye, y/n!”

“feel free to join again!”

“oh and corpse,” you called out.

“yeah?”

“that was not fucking,” you clarified, making everyone laugh and ‘ohhh’. 

“no?” he prodded.

“nah, that purely foreplay, baby,” you confirmed. “see you all!” and you left the call just as they all exploded again.

james walked into the room you were in before you turned off your live. he placed his hands on his hips. “young lady, we need to have a talk.” you laughed and turned off signed off.

[whenspideywrites]

jj x latinx/hispanic reader headcanon

as promised, im posting my first jj writing to celebrate 50 awesome followers!

a/n: this is my first time writing on tumblr. i never planned to, but everytime i watch outerbanks i notice how jj has a lil obsession with yucatan and saying stuff in spanish.

im kind of curious where that comes from and the idea of him dating someone hispanic/latinx popped into my head.

anyways, i just wanted to write this for all of the hispanic/latinx peeps. hope y’all can relate, im mexican sooo some of it is based off of my life, but I also include stuff that can apply to all hispanic/latinx cultures.

i hope you like it!

- watching spanish films or novelas, especially the black and white classics

- of course you would put on subtitles for jj, but he’s picked up some words from listening to you speak spanish ( or in a certain dialect or indigenous language)

- sometimes he would just admire you being so focused on the film and watch you occasionally quote the next scene under your breath, since you remember watching those films and shows growing up

- celebrating traditional holidays together with your family

- you and him going over to your parents house to celebrate el dia de los reyes with the traditional bread

- you explained to jj that there were baby figurines hidden in the bread and whoever gets one, then they make the tamales for christmas

- a few seconds into munching on the bread and JJ realized he got it after biting on the hard, white plastic. everyone cheered and laughed at the poor boy with big eyes staring at the little baby figurine

- “ i can barely make a sandwich “

- “don’t worry i’ll teach you baby”

- the day before Christmas Eve, jj and you helped make tamales with your mom. your mom put you and jj to knead la masa. there would be a few moments where jj would intertwined his fingers with yours, which made you blush.

- but, you slapped his hand away signaling him to get back to work because your mom has a strict schedule when it comes to the food

- him being mind blown from tasting tamales and your mom giving him plate after plate

- visiting family

- your tias would be all over him and your tios and primos would tease him and call him el gringo

- but over time they all warmed up to him and he’s always welcome to family events.

- you would invite him over whenever there was a get together for soccer games and boxing matches on tv

- playing la lotería with your family

- one night he was reading the cards out loud

- but there would be little giggles from everyone when he pronounced something wrong or it would just sound funny when he said them

- “el árbol, wey” your tio yelled after jj’s numerous failed attempts to pronounce it correctly

- “el árbol wey” jj repeated

- everyone bursted out laughing

- he makes an effort to learn and speak spanish with family members

- but sometimes he would look at you if he needs help finishing a sentence

- one time you left him alone with your tias and you remember looking at him, who looked terrified at not knowing what to say or what they were saying

- “never leave me alone”

- “don’t worry, i’ll get you a spanish dictionary next time to keep you company”

- you teaching him the cuss words in spanish

- he would legit argue with anyone that gave you a bad look when you talked in spanish

- although jj is not much of a church boy, he makes an effort to clean up nice and go to service with your family and you.

- which only makes his parents love him more

- introducing him to spanish rock

- caifanes

- los enanitos verdes

- los bunkers

- juanes

- inspector

- division minúscula

(those are just some of my favs)

- him admiring you by the doorway as you dance around in the kitchen listening to bad bunny in one of his shirts

- at some big family parties of yours, there would be mariachi or some singing group. everyone joins in and goes wild with el grito

- jj spent a week trying to do el grito

- taking care of him when he’s sick

- which includes massaging his chest with vapor rub. making him your moms caldo de pollo with pieces of tortilla in it.

- “ i told you not to go to sleep with your hair wet after surfing”

- him groaning into his pillow, because you’ve been scolding him all day and would yell at him to put on socks

- saying sana sana colitia de rana when he got hurt

- nicknames you call him: bebe, amor, huerito, cariño

- he loves your breakfasts

- him waking up to the smell of whatever you’re cooking made him the happiest. you would cook him huevos rancheros, chilaquiles, sopes, huevos a la mexicana, tortas and etc. (or any of your favorites, these are just my personal faves)

- you would pack him a torta in his lunch bag you made for work

- he loves it when you both cook and you teach him all of the family recipes you loved growing up

- making him chips con salsa or guacamole, chocolate de abuelita, or giving him pan dulce as comfort food when he has a bad day

- when he stays at your house he has a hard time finding the butter you asked him for, because each one turns out to be either salsa or beans

- taking him with you on your trip to (insert your family’s country) to visit family

- surprising him with tickets to yucatan on his 18th

- before the trip, he would go on and on about you two buying a house in mexico and having a fish shack and surfing til the sun sets

- he would try to sneak in tequila into the US

- you and jj have known eachother for years, so when your quince came up, you asked him to be your main chambelan. this was before y’all started dating

- jj would play around in practice and there were times you let your nerves get the best of you and went off on him

- but when it did come down to your big day, jj made sure you felt like the most special person in the world and that there was no trouble that night

- that night, especially during the waltz, he knew he wanted to be the one to make you feel like most special person all the time.

- you would be a part of a ballet folklorico group that did occasional performances at the local theater

- jj would be so supportive and even stay at your practices to watch, since he was your ride

- at the chateau before performances or just if you need more practice, he helps out with choreography

- you would even catch him subtly do a carretilla or a zapateado during the day

- he would bring flowers or your favorite snack to your show

- he would cheer from the crowd and be the loudest

- jj loved seeing you dressed in the traditional clothing, while dancing your heart out. he loved that you’re so in touch with your culture and you let him into that part of your world

- he would massage your head, since the tight bun and that one annoying bobby pin stabbing your scalp did some damage

- teaching him how to dance cumbia, bachata, zapatear and etc.

- growing up jj loved going to your bday parties because of the piñata

- he was definitely the kind to throw himself on top of the candy and try to get one of the loose cones to use as a bag

- whenever trump got elected, jj got you a trump pinata and handed you a baseball bat

- “let him feel your wrath babe”

- you are a part of an after school club that helps indigenous communities in hispanic/latinx countries

- jj would be supportive and get you coffee for those long nights when you were planning a fundraiser or doing research

- he would even attend the meeting or go to the fundraisers you helped planned

- he would wear a threaded bracelet with his name on it, which you got from a lady who made and sold them on the street a long time ago from visiting your family’s homeland. since then he never took it off, even though it looks a little worn down

| also i want to tag some amazing people who have given me the confidence to post:

@drewsephsmiles @midnightmagicmusings @jellyfishbeansontoast @rudths

also let me know if you want to be on my tag list!

[princessjungeun]

Forgetting Date Night: Lia x Reader

Request: hello🤗 i was wanting to request a really angsty scenario where you and lia have a date night somewhere away from home and you forget about it causing lia to come home to see you just on the couch and she tells you how shes the busier one so she should be the one "forgetting" about planned dates

You had just worked one of the most intense weeks of your entire life. As a software engineer of one of the biggest technology companies in Korea, your job was demanding. Recently the competing company came out with a piece of technology very close to that of your companies. Since then, you’ve been working least 12 hours a day, getting home late and leaving the house early.

Your girlfriend Jisu also had a high demand job, however you knew no matter how much you worked, her job trumped yours. However, right now your job was definitely more work than hers. This week she wasn’t working, as she and her members were on a three week break from promotions. Her group had a total of 15 stages and countless interviews, variety show appearances, and photo shoots. Finally she was able to get a break.

When you got home you noticed Jisu wasn’t home. She’d been catching up with her friends quite a bit recently so you wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what she was doing.

All you wanted was to go to sleep, usually you would wait for Jisu to come home but you couldn’t stay awake any longer. You changed into more comfortable clothes before flopping onto your bed.

Just as you started to fall asleep you heard the front door fly open, hitting the door stop loudly. You froze not knowing if it was Jisu or an intruder. Not knowing what to do you closed your eyes slowly and turned your face into a pillow.

“Are you kidding me?” Was all you heard when the person came into your room. You recognized the voice, Jisu, and she wasn’t happy. Slowly you opened your eyes and turned to her “hi baby.” She responded harshly “dont hi baby me! Do you know what today is?”

You didn’t know, to be quite honest the days have all jumbled together in your mind due to the stress of your job. All you knew was that it wasn’t the weekend because you just got off of work, and you don’t work on weekends.

She took the blank look on your face as an answer. “Wow ok then.” She rolled her eyes and walked out, slamming the door loudly behind her. You rubbed your temples trying to remember what today was. Why could she possibly be so upset? It’s not her birthday. It’s not your birthday. Your anniversary is in three months. So what could it be?

You replayed the interaction in your head. She was wearing clothes that weren’t her usual style. She looked almost dressed up? The buzz of your phone snapped you out of your trance. A calendar reminder appeared on your lock screen:

Date with Jisu @ 7

Your eyes widened as you frantically got up calling out her name. “Jisu-ah!” You saw her sitting alone looking out the window, deep in thought.

You tapped her shoulder knowing that pulling her into your arms wasn’t the best idea right now. “Jisu I’m so sorry. Really I forgot about tonight, work has been so much recently I lost track of the days. I will make it up to you I swear. It’s all my fault... and- I’m just really sorry.”

Judging by the look on her face, she definitely wasn’t having it. She responded “really? You forgot about our date that I planned two months in advance. Mind you this was while I was preparing for a huge comeback!” Her voice rose steadily as she continued “I DANCED EIGHT HOURS A DAY! I SANG SO MUCH I COULD BAREY TALK. I SLEPT LESS THAN FOUR HOURS FOR THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT AND I STILL MADE EVERY DATE WE HAD. AND YOU ARE HERE ASLEEP?! YOU HAVE THE DAMN NERVE TO TELL ME YOU CANT REMEMBER ONE SIMPLE FRICKING DAY?!” Her voice jumping at least six octaves on the last word, making it sound more like a squeak.

You were not one to yell and neither was Jisu, but you snapped. “EXCUSE ME? I JUST APOLOGIZED AND ADMITTED IT WAS MY FAULT! I SAID I WOULD MAKE UP FOR IT! I HAVE BEEN WORKING A LOT RECENTLY TOO! I KNOW YOUR JOB IS A LOT MORE DEMANDING THAN MINE, BUT YOU WILL NOT SIT HERE AND MAKE ME FEEL BAD AS IF I WASNT WORKING AT ALL. I HAVE BEEN BOSSED AROUND BY EVERY IMPORTANT PERSON IN THAT BUILDING EVERY DAY FOR HOURS WITHOUT BREAKS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE HAVING TO GO INTO WORK CONSTANTLY TRYING TO PROVE THAT YOU CAN DO JUST AS WELL AS YOUR MALE COWORKERS WHILE YOU ARE THE ONLY FEMALE IN YOUR WHOLE DEPARTMENT? NO YOU DONT JULIA. SO IF I TELL YOU IM SORRY AND THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING SO HARD I LOST TRACK OF THE DAYS. TRUST AND BELIEVE I AM SERIOUS. BECAUSE I AM NO SLACKER. You and I both know that.”

You got up and walked back to your room, slamming the door behind you. The two of you had never really gotten in a fight like this. Typically one of you would have cracked and cried, prompting the both of you to forgive each other quickly.

You didn’t know what to do or who to call so you decided on the first person in your contact list.

They asked Hello?

You responded “Hey can you come over, I need you” They hung up without saying another word.

You knew Jisu probably ran to Yeji or Ryujin’s, but judging by the fact that Ryujin hasn’t sent you a form of “what the hell did you do to my best friend” text. She was probably with Yeji.

After ten minutes your heard the door open followed by “Y/N?! HELLOOOOO?!” She walked you your room and immediately hugged you. “What happened? Where’s Jisu?” You sat up and responded “we got into a fight.”

You spent the next thirty minutes explaining to Jungeun what happened. When you were finished she told you “well you have to understand why she’s upset. You know how much we work as idols, how hard it can be. But she still made time to plan and go out on dates with you. But she also has to realize she’s not the only one with a hard job. You have been working really hard recently. You two need to get together and talk about how you both feel about this. Then apologize to each other for yelling at each other. Call me and tell me how it goes later ok?”

She hugged you then slipped out of your apartment quickly. Hours passed and Jisu still hadn’t returned home. As much as you wanted to fall asleep, you couldn’t knowing that she was still upset.

•

•

•

“Y/N?” Jisu softly whispered, you could tell she’d been crying for some time. “Yeah?” You sat up and turned on the lamp next to your bed. She sat down next to you and said “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I know you’ve been working a lot more than usual recently. And I should have been more understanding but I wasn’t. You didn’t deserve that, I’m sorry.”

You told her “I’m sorry too. I should have been more attentive. I should have looked at my calendar and saw that you made a date for us. And I shouldn’t have yelled at you, it wasn’t right.”

You opened your arms for her to crawl into them. She smirked and straddled your waist. Forcefully she kissed your lips. Your hands found your way to her waist, holding her closer. Her hands laced in your hair as she started kissing down your jawline to your neck. You whimpered softly “L-Lia-yah...” which just made her want to continue. You finally were able to gain control of yourself and pull away. She pouted and you kissed her lips softly “I can’t tonight...i’m too tired.”

She rolled off of you and curled into your arms. Her duality in this context truly baffled you, even after being with her for two years. You stared at the ceiling, mind empty, zero thoughts running through your head.

“Baby girl.” Jisu poked your cheek. You turned and looked at her, your eyes half open “hmmm?” She laughed softly and said “go to sleep my love.” You kissed her softly again before closing your eyes and drifting off to sleep.

[xianglingslesbian]

ewbts - my top moments

no i will never stop laughing at that abbreviation it’s beautiful. buckle in because this is gonna be long, and probably don’t read it unless you’ve watched/read kuroko’s basketball and like izuki lmaoooo

chapter 1: hatchling, awaken

Izuki swallows. “Why do you all think I can do this?”

Then Kiyoshi turns to him with steel in his eyes (that must be how he got nicknamed Iron Heart - he seriously never backs down!) and asks him very clearly, “Why don’t you?”

Why don’t I think I can be captain?

“Because nobody thought I could be until now.”

aka “ceru is a masochist”, exhibit 1/???. anyway lets hear it for insecurities!!

chapter 2: liftoff

Predictably, Kuroko drags him aside at practice the next day and says, “I have something to tell you, Izuki-senpai.”

Izuki smiles at him. “Is it about your five evil exes?”

Kuroko looks horrified. “My what?!”

i think im funny

chapter 3: crash landing

As Izuki walks off the court, he looks for flashing glasses and grey eyes.

He curses himself for the heavy sadness that falls over him like a blanket when he doesn’t spot them.

yay for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 2!

Oh, he [Izuki] watched videos of Aomine, came up with strategy after strategy to corner him, but videos and strategies can only go so far. Aomine in real life is something else entirely, a flash of lightning setting the court on fire with the sheer elegance of his crazy street basketball. All one can do is sit back and watch, awed beyond belief. Nothing can curb the wild madness that is Aomine Daiki – unrestrained, gleeful insanity dancing across the court like it’s his playground.

i also rlly like this line, it has some pretty imagery and we all know im a slut for pretty imagery~

chapter 4: a broken bone grows back stronger

“All right,” Koganei says to himself, moving to stand in front of the hoop. “One more time.”

He jumps, raising the ball to just above his face and releasing it. It misses, and he lets out a cry of frustration.

Can he even do this? Is it worth the time?

Koganei bites back the wave of guilt that washes over him at the thought. Izuki, Kiyoshi, Tsuchida, Rinnosuke, Kagami, Kuroko – he’d be letting them down if he didn’t give this his best shot. They’re all so dedicated to basketball that they each have a special skill honed from years of practice and love for the sport. If he can’t bring anything of his own to the table, what will he mean to this team? Seirin makes him want to be a team player, to add his skills to theirs rather than shining on his own. The change is good, yes, but he doesn’t want to stop there – he doesn’t want to be useless.

He will not be useless.

a bit of context: in this fic, since hyuuga did not return, koga became the SG for seirin :D i think my favorite character to develop, apart from izuki, was koganei - it was so fun to imagine all the ways he could have gone!

chapter 5: spreading new wings

All too soon, the day of judgment arrives, and Seirin convenes in the gym one last time before they head off to the Winter Cup building. No one says anything; not Kagami, fresh from his training trip to America, not Izuki, not Kiyoshi or Riko. They simply stand there, breathing in the scent of cleaner and leather and something else that’s so entirely Seirin, and knowing that no matter what happens this Winter Cup, they will return to the gym different people than they were before.

Different, and better.

Then they head out and off to the opening ceremony of the Winter Cup, not looking back once as they do.

yay for more pretty words!!!

“Oh, no worries. The actual motivational part is coming. Anyway, as I was saying – Tōō was just better than us that day. It’s hard to admit, I know: far easier to blame yourself, say you didn’t give it your all, but you know; we all know. It was their day to shine, not ours. But I think we’ve worked hard enough and are in a good enough mindset to change that, today. We aren’t scared or apprehensive about Tōō and Aomine, because we’ve faced them before. We know what attitude they’ll walk into our game with, and that’s what we’re going to exploit!”

“You’re going to exploit,” corrects Tsuchida. “Unlike you, the rest of us aren’t manipulative bastards.”

That raises a bunch of cackles, which quiet down when Izuki gives his team a glare. It doesn’t work on Riko, however, who sniggers under her breath and smirks at him.

izuki highkey sucks at pep talks lmao

chapter 6: ride the storm

Kagami and Aomine were made for each other. Made for this rivalry, this intense competition that will push them to their very limits and carry them onto a plane that no ordinary human can reach. Neither can defeat the other per se - they’re destined to stand neck and neck forever. However, one has a trump card on his side; and that trump card can make all the difference in the world.

Aomine Daiki may be strong, but Kagami Taiga is just as good. And damn him if the power of Kagami’s determination coupled with Kuroko’s unshakeable support won’t overwhelm the undisputed king of basketball.

Move aside, light bulb, Izuki thinks vindictively. The tube light is here to replace you.

pretty words. gay words. i love them (aokaga + izuki being a salt man lmao).

chapter 7: eagle versus aegis

“So bitter,” he [Izuki] reflects aloud, answering Himuro’s question.

That’s the emotion in his eyes. That’s what I might have become, if I had let my anger grow.

And suddenly he isn’t seeing Himuro Tatsuya anymore, but a version of himself, a version with darkened eyes and a mocking smile and pain and rage bubbling below the surface. Immensely talented, but not able to break the last barrier. Because he’s an ordinary man, and it’s as much as an ordinary man can do.

Strong, so strong. But also so terribly, heartbreakingly weak. Weak in a way that today’s Izuki Shun will never be.

GOD where do i even start w/this scene its literally everything i’ve ever wanted to write ksjfhsfj

chapter 8: clawing through mirages

Izuki’s taken aback for a millisecond before he continues his mad dash towards Murasakibara, letting out a war cry as the center makes to simply toss the ball into the hoop.

“It wasn’t their intention,” says a quiet but familiar voice. “But, this is the result of Kiyoshi-senpai and the other upperclassmen’s tenacity.”

Izuki grins, feeling new strength fill him up.

Together, huh? Okay. Together.

“This is where it ends for you!” shouts the voice, becoming stronger.

Not one, but two hands knock the ball out of Murasakibara’s hands and onto the ground. Kuroko shimmers into vision, smiling at Izuki with all the happiness in the world, just as the final buzzer rings.

i loved writing this match tbh, yousen is super underrated!

chapter 9: catch the updraft

21 - 22, in their favour at long last. Izuki grins at Kasamatsu, who shakes his head wearily.

“Using my own advice against me. What a terrible student you are,” he says, affecting an old man’s voice.

“The true student is the one who beats the master at his own game,” Izuki says quickly, sliding back into their familiar banter. “I swore to myself, my drive would beat your drive today, kitakore.”

“When did you get so wise?” asks Kasamatsu with a sigh, ignoring his pun and receiving the ball from Kobori, who was quick to grab it once Koga scored. Izuki just laughs, not bothering to reply and instead focusing carefully on Kasamatsu’s movements.

Kasamatsu shifts his weight right, left, then right again. Izuki narrows his eyes, trying to figure out what the hell his upperclassman is doing—

But it’s far too late, as Kasamatsu successfully passes through his defence in his moment of distraction, ball clutched tightly in hand. The sound of the scoring whistle is shrill and unpleasant to Izuki’s ears, and his chest stings at the loss.

“What was that about the main course?” Kasamatsu teases, wearing an enormous grin as he comes forward to guard Izuki once more. 

izuki + kasamatsu banter is so so fun to write y’all have no idea

chapter 10: headwinds

This is your fault. If you’d been a better captain, a better point guard, a better everything, none of this would’ve happened. Seirin would have been well in the lead and controlling the game—

Izuki shakes his head violently, trying to get rid of his intrusive thoughts. He knows he’s a good captain, and doing this to himself will do no good for the rest of the team. He has to be strong for them. He has to lead them to victory, he can’t be a weak person overwhelmed by emotion. But it’s so hard to breathe, suddenly, and Izuki’s about to sink when—

“Don’t worry, Captain. I’ll take care of this match today,” says a confident and familiar voice, and a hand claps down on Izuki’s shoulder. He turns, a little surprised by the sudden contact, to find Koganei’s cat mouth set in a determined frown. “You can rest your hopes on me. I’ll be Seirin’s wings for as long as you need me to.”

kogazuki brotp feels man. kogazuki brotp feels.

chapter 11: cliff edge

Riko nods, sobering up a little. “I do know. And… I have to admit, I was a little harsh on you in the early days… I kept comparing you to Hyūga-kun.” She looks at the ground briefly, then raises her head to continue, meeting Izuki’s eyes with no hint of doubt in her own brown irises. “But then I saw how different you were. How you were never willing to give up, even if you were the worst player in the world. That’s what… that’s what made me truly believe in you.” She swallows thickly, taking a deep breath, but not averting her gaze from his.

The honesty and trust in her eyes is what shatters Izuki’s calm.

He steps forward, and she rises too, opening her arms. Then he hugs her tightly, murmuring, “Thank you for having faith in me.”

The “Of course. You’re family,” that she whispers back fills Izuki’s already overflowing heart even further.

Eventually, he lets her go, and she drops lightly to the ground, straightening her sweater and skirt.

“We never speak of this,” Izuki warns her, moving towards the door of the room.

Riko nods, back to her usual haughty demeanour. “Of course. No one can know we’re actually big softies who care a lot for each other.”

“To them, we’re just sarcastic jerks,” Izuki agrees. “And that’s the way it stays.”

anyone said izuriko brotp???? this fic is just platonic feels tbh

chapter 12: overcast skies

What should I do? Someone tell me! the voice cries out in Izuki’s head, a voice he hasn’t heard since the loss to Tōō. It is the same voice that whispers all his insecurities in his ear in the dead of night when no one is around to reassure him, the same voice that gave rise to all his fears and worries. It is the voice of the vulnerable and weak part of Izuki, the one that needs someone to guide him with a gentle hand, and he hates it.

It is a voice that, frankly, he never thought he would hear again. Yet, here it is, crying out for attention, screaming for someone to help.

He thought he had left it behind. It turns out he was wrong.

Izuki shoves it deep into his heart with more effort than he’s exerted all game, breathing a heavy sigh when he succeeds in locking it behind the glass wall that keeps his emotions away.

let’s hear it for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 3~

chapter 13: nosedive

“I don’t know who you are,” Koganei completes his little speech, anger brimming in every part of his being. “But I know that my captain is Izuki Shun, not Akashi Seijūrō. The coach can bench you if she likes; we can fight without our captain, because we know he wants us to win for his sake. We’ve been fighting without him all the match, and we can continue doing so. We don’t need a player that can’t play with the same passion as us!”

Izuki looks at the ground and doesn’t respond. Somewhere within, something is stirring at Koganei’s words. Something that cries out to fill the gap inside him.

Next to speak is Kiyoshi, standing up and executing much the same move as Koga had by yanking Izuki up by his collar. However, Kiyoshi pulls Izuki into a standing position so that Izuki is half-leaning against him.

Brown eyes meet black, and Kiyoshi simply states, “I didn’t expect this from you, Shun.”

Then he rears his fist backwards and punches Izuki in the jaw.

“ceru is a masochist” exhibit 4!

chapter 14: bird of prey

“I just… I didn’t think you’d give up so easily.”

Koganei’s head shoots up. There’s fury in his eyes, and his face is white. His hands are shaking.

Izuki continues, calm and careless as he always is, “Really… after you gave me all that talk at halftime? I don’t believe this is you.”

Koganei’s jaw clenches, and he cries, “But I have done everything I can! He’s just too good—”

“And when has that ever stopped you?” Izuki keeps his voice quiet and even, but it has the gravity he intended it to - Koga falls silent immediately, eyes wide and riveted on him. “When have you ever backed down from fighting? You don’t know the meaning of giving up. You’ve never cared about whether someone’s better than you. I knew a shooting guard once, just like you, and he had the potential to be the greatest in the world. He was held back because he cared that he was worse than others. But you? You never blinked at it, just practised and practised until you could do the impossible.”

His words are getting louder with pride; he’s unable to keep it steady with the outpouring of emotion in his speech.

“Tell me, who can master Ray Allen’s form in one and a half years? Who can be such a rookie at basketball, yet be able to fight an Uncrowned King and respond to a shot that has left all its previous victims unable to move?!” Izuki leans forward and jabs a finger into Koganei’s chest demandingly. “Tell me, who the hell was that?!”

“Me,” Koga whispers timidly, looking down.

ahhhh yay for more platonic comfort and bonding. *izuki voice* yelling is the way to get ur team to get their shit tgt

chapter 15: born to soar

Izuki finds himself moving, barely thinking as he grabs the ball and bawls for an attack. He’s running faster than he ever has, flying up the court like there are wings on his legs. No one follows at his pace - they’re all too far behind.

No one but Kiyoshi.

The rhythm beats louder than ever, a heavy pulse in Izuki’s head and heart. He can feel Akashi on his heels and knows he needs to do something.

One second left—

Izuki’s hands move on their own, passing the ball to the one person he knows that he will always find.

Kiyoshi catches it and jumps.

Fortyfivethirtyfivetwentyfivefifteen—

The ball leaves his hands.

Fivezero—

The whistle blows to end the game. Kiyoshi’s shot hits the backboard and drops straight into the basket. Time stops as a shrill sound screeches into the air and the ref shouts, “124 to 123, Seirin High wins the Winter Cup!”

there we go. the most heartwrenching scene of this chapter ahhhhh

chapter 16: final flight

“We should go. Don’t want to keep them waiting too long,” Kiyoshi says, staring daggers at Hyūga, who to his credit doesn’t flinch but merely stares back.

“Let’s go, then,” Izuki agrees. He looks straight at Hyūga and allows a small, formal smile to play on his lips. Hyūga just nods, accepting the answer.

Izuki nods back, then turns around and starts walking away. But even as he moves toward the exit, something weighs heavily in his tired chest. For the first time in a long time, he isn’t confident in his decision.

Acting on impulse, he turns on his heel and yells out, “Call sometime, maybe!” before walking backwards out the door that Kiyoshi holds for him.

It’s an open-ended suggestion. Hyūga can choose to wallow and ignore it, or he can choose to pick up the phone. Izuki isn’t going to do so either way - he’ll be happy if Hyūga makes that call, but he won’t be terribly sad if he doesn't.

This time, he’s going to be the one that walks forward without looking back.

ahhh okay so this scene means a hella lot to me personally because... i had to grow, the way izuki grew. izuki’s now strong enough to sort of put the olive branch out and say, “take it or leave it,” and if it’s left he’s not gonna be upset. that’s something i really learned with a lot of difficulty and i think that that growth - in both me and him - is a lovely thing.

and there we have it! my favorite moments from each chapter of this story. *cries in a corner* god i can’t believe it’s over...

THANK YOU FOR THE JOURNEY!

[outside-of-my-box]

Life is full of surprises, everyone knows that. But there are a few universal truths even the most skeptical refuse to dispute. The sun rises in the east. Death. Gravity. Taxes….and a man pursued by Endeavor is a man already in chains.  

The current no. 1 hero had an irrefutable record of success. ‘Endeavor will catch his criminal’ and ‘water is wet’ score the same on the cosmic truth scale and it is this fact that keeps the general public tolerant of the other inarguable truths that surround him.

Endeavor is an ass. Endeavor is a bully. Endeavor has nothing even close to a bedside manner. Endeavor always plays to win.

And if there is one true golden rule. A law of nature that trumps all other physical and theoretical laws…it would be this

Never. Ever stand between Endeavor and his prize.

Man, woman, child, building, river, ocean wide…there are no immovable objects to the unyealding force that is the Flame Hero Enji Todoroki.

“Shit. Sorry man.”

The problem with universally recognized laws of nature…

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!”

…Is that scientifically speaking nothing is ever true…

“Eh. Thats the problem with ice you know…its kinda slippery”

…Things are simply not yet proven false.

“who the hell do you think you are?!”

“Oh, the name’s Mika Hammonds and on behalf of the Yagi Hero Agency I extend my deepest- “

------------

The building was small and quaint…less like an office and more like the home of a family man with a respectable job and a reasonable paycheck. If it were not for the small sign out front no one would suspect it for what it was.

Funny enough the same could be said of the man currently standing just outside its simply iron gates. Both building and boy where attractive in a way that actively prevented them from standing out. Sweet, inviting face and open posture. Small, but graceful in stature. Large green eyes that seemed to positively sparkle with life and a healthy dusting of freckles like cinnamon on a morning latte. His strangest feature was his hair. It was an unusual shade, almost black from most viewpoints. However, when the light caught a stray strand or the sun danced full force above one could finally see the truth. Like a diamond illuminated by a perfectly placed glow his soft curls and gentle waives lit up a deep earthly green, like a forest at sunrise. An emerald in the rough.

Not that this sort of thought had ever even begun to cross the mind below the messy tussle of hair. No. The word that came to mind…that had always come to mind…when someone was asked to describe Midoriya Izuku in a single phrase…was plain. He took no issue with this. It was just true. Like the sun. Like gravity. Like taxes.

But to Midoriya Izuku the building he now stood before was anything but. To him it was a palace. A beacon of light. Sacred, hollowed ground he still wasn’t convinced he deserved to enter. But enter he did. With one scarred and shaking hand he gripped the cold metal of the gate and took the first steps into his destiny. Any sensation he had felt in his 3 years at U.A. paled in comparison to now. A week ago he has stood on a stage in front of gods and men alike to receive what had once been the fever dream of a small quirkless child.  

He had cried then. Unashamed and unbridled tears of joy and relief and wonder. Tears that did not stop as he held hands with his classmates and announced themselves to the world for the very first time as heros. Tears he had shared with many as he wrapped his arms around familiar forms and traded promises to keep in touch. To not forget. Tears of pain and sorrow as he watched his brothers and sisters each, one by one, turn and walk out of the gates for what was both a first and a final time until only one remained…until they had been alone.

He shook his head, attempting to chase the bittersweet from his mind. His eyes were dry now but the feeling in his chest was the same as he reached out and pressed the doorbell with fire in his soul and determination in his face.

Nothing happened. He pressed it again and stood back. Waiting. Nothing. He began to fidget as his resolve began to slip. Doubt crept in slowly. Was he early? Was he late?! Was this the wrong address? Had they reconsidered? By the time the door opened Midoriya was half way into a panic attack with the image of the office staff hunkered down under desks and behind plants as they quietly prayed the nuisance of a rejected sidekick would just leave already.

But open the door did to reveal a woman about the same height as he was. Her attention was on something behind her as she shot a half annoyed half teasing remark over her shoulder. In her hand she held two large trash bags full of what could only be assumed was trash.

“Alright! Im doing it, no need to nag. God this is why I hate when you come to visit – oh!”

It was evident that whatever she had expected to find on the large covered porch beyond the door she had just opened it was not an attractive young man in a cotton t-shirt and slacks awkwardly picking at the strap of a gym bag slung over his shoulder and a large rolling suitcase at his feet.

“Can I help you?” she had a kind, musical voice and an accent that was undoubtably American. She punctuated her question with a quisical cock of her head, like a dog trying to pick up the sound of a fox in the brush. It was a tick he would come to know very well in the coming months as proof of her formidability but for now the almost childlike quality of it stilled his fraying nerves. The sharpness of her eyes however, a blue so cold and light he almost shivered involuntarily, did nothing to still his pounding heart.

“I’m..um..My name is Midoriya Izuku- Deku. Im the hero Deku. Im supposed to start..um…today” He almost winced. Talking to girls, particularly attractive older woman, had never been something he was particularly adept at. And the color of her eyes where just a little to intimate not to conjure up ill timed memories…Though she did have one more than he was used to.

Suddenly, like clouds parting over a frozen lake, her eyes warmed into the calm sea surrounding some tropical paradise. She smiled wide and giggled. It wasn’t a laugh, lacking the adult-like restraint the word demanded…it was a genuine sound of joy and amusement usually reserved for small children and silly girls. It made Izuku smile despite the emotional whiplash the last few moments had been.

“Oh shit, really?!” his smile faltered a bit so she clarified “I didn’t realize that was today. Welcome Welcome!”

She took a step forward and embraced him. So taken aback by the action was Midoriya that he simply stood there and allowed it to happen. Had she been a classmate or a woman his mother’s age he would have expected it but this woman was maybe 4 or 5 years older than he was. Possibly less. Hes head swam. He could count on one hand the number of times he had been this close to a woman he wasn’t related to…

“Who-Mika!” All Might saves the day once more as his small, thin frame appears behind the creature currently assaulting his physical and mental space. She let him go and half turned with a clear ‘what?!’ written across her face. “At least put down the trash!”

Two pairs of eyes blinked at him, confused. Then in unison both looked down at the bags still clutched in her hands.

“Oh. Oh my…” her face flushed red as she very carefully placed the bags down beside the door as if they where filled with something very precious or very volatile. She turned back to Midoriya with a look of horror so over the top he had to restrain a smile. “I am so sorry! So sorry. I cant even- I promise its just papers and stuff. Not that that really makes it better. But I mean…”

She shook her head and picked up the bags again and without saying anything else carefully stepped around him and began down the walk towards the street.

“Where are you going?! The trash it around the side.” All Might called as he came to stand beside his protégé. “Mika!”

“Im going to take it down to the dumpster. Maybe throw myself in front of a bus.” She paused and turn around as she got to the gate. “Oh, It was very nice to meet you Midoriya Izuku!”

As green eyes, full of confusion and bewilderment, followed her hasty exit the boy allowed his former teacher and mentor to usher him inside with a laugh. And so their first meeting had concluded. A strange, awkward and all around unimpressive encounter between two unknown and seemingly mundane individuals. Despite all of this however, this odd collision between strangers would mark the beginning of something far more prodigious…more breathtaking…more dangerous than anyone involved could have possibly imagined.

[fadedstarlight]

the stars will sing for you, one day. hope is what dreamers rely upon, so don’t lose it. even if it means the end of everything you know.

a crumpled tee shirt, plastered directly to her face. an exhausted arm brushes it aside with a disgruntled moan, the moan of someone who was having a terribly nice dream and was woken up by the most inconsiderate rays of morning grace. thanks, morning, she mutters to herself. comforter pushed aside, beads of sweat rolling off the bangs matted to her temples, may allows her body the respite of cool floorboards, chilling her aching body. wait, why is my body aching? where is my home? where am i? startled eyes, dizzy from the relentless waves of heat, burst open with fervor known only to the insane and the driven. there were a lot of questions, of course. that’s human nature. staring up at the ceiling, a small fan twirls daintily. this isn’t right, she keeps saying to herself. this can’t be right.

no answers can be fulfilled lying face-up on the floor, so in a flurry of movement, may was upright at last. tenatively, she made out the visage of fate that lay before her:

a half-eaten pizza. thrown lazily over a laptop.

why is there a pizza here?! i don’t even like pizza!

may took this opportunity of pure speculative confusion to observe the furnishings around her– a bed with no frame, laid at the end of the room with pastel flowers adorning the comforter; a small, yet thoughtful rug that looked incredibly soft if layed upon, if there weren’t a black cat sitting directly in the center of it, enjoying the sun; a desk with the aforementioned pizza laptop at the other end of the room; and a communist flag pinned to the wall with two small knives.

cool.

i need to find a fan.

PROLOGUE

1 maybe this is the beginning of something new.

maybe this is the end of something ancient.

maybe this simply is.

2 she can’t do it alone.

be strong, may. be strong. run fast, head high, legs pumping– as long as you are going away from what you once were. that, dear, was a fate worse than death.

i don’t think death itself envies you, to be honest.

3 if you keep walking, maybe eventually possibly you can wake up from this and it will all be better.

but you know, you can’t outrun fate.

fate has its own tendrils that operate on their own terms and own laws and own everything and it doesn’t give a shit if it hurts you. because it has a job. and it’s doing a pretty great job at that job, and it probably doesn’t like that job but it doesn’t have a choice because its fate bosses tell it to do that job or else it’ll lose its fate job in its fate cubicle making a fate wage so it can feed its fate family. and they have their own fates, too, forcing them into this fate paradox that never seems to pause or contemplate why it does that, as if that too has a fate that it was predestined for.

my head hurts,

i really need some coffee. when was the last time i had something to drink? it was a day ago, probably. it’s not like, out here, i have much to go off of in terms of resources. if the winter chill nipping at my fingertips could be as filling as they are annoying, i’d never have to eat or drink anything again. now i’m hungry too. i am kind of wandering the wilderness, so i suppose i’m not too surprised. but i still am. in an apathetic kind of way. like, i will be conscious of what is happening, think to myself, oh, well i should do something about this, and never actually act upon it. even now i feel like im just watching a movie of someone else who just so happens to be traversing the alaskan landscape in search of something that isn’t there, wondering what their motivations are. gnawing on popcorn, sucking down heaven’s nectar and in the calming embrace of separate souls, lapping up the emotional buffet such a connection offers to one so malnourished. certainly sounds good right about now.

but i’ve accepted that, after about the nineteenth mile of uninterrupted walking, i understood that my entire existence was to never be ‘good’. good is the term that people never meant for anything say to quantify their meaningless lives by trying to find purpose in purposeless things. they have to do something for 80 years before they kick the bucket, right? grass doesn’t have things to look forward to, to aspire to be, to discuss, yet here it is, frozen and pale in the face of winter’s countenance, tenderly caressing its neck with its white-hot temptation. and grass doesn’t hurt anybody, either. all grass ever did was be green and be eaten by things who like hurting other things. grass has feelings, too, but no one cares. because it’s grass. and we are people, but honestly, we’re so much worse than grass. grass deserves more good its life than we have ever had. grass hasn’t killed other grasses. grass just wants to be the best grass it can be and it tries so fucking hard to be that. its grass parents must be so proud of it.

i wish i were grass.

4 stars wink at me sometimes. their flirtatious personalities are intoxicating, which makes it all the more heartbreaking when i realize the distance between them and i. i wish i could be up there with them, and succumb to their allure, be subject to the countless stories and thoughts, their transcendental banter, their flaws and fears and fate all lined up for me to gorge upon with all senses in wide-eyed stupor. the stars have their qualms about the universe too, i’m sure. but to be a celestial body must have its perks, too. for one, you never have to worry about not having enough time. you’re the largest measurer of time, only trumped in its universal dominance by the ones who set them there at all. also, you’re friends with other stars, whether they like it or not. your galaxy would be, essentially, a set of unbreakable friendships. you’re all orbiting each other, invariably destined to meet in a cataclysmic reuniting. it’s poetic: tragic and moving and short-lived yet unmistakably important to those involved, for they are foreverchanged with unmistakablelove. those were books i was writing on before i began this wandering journey into eternal oblivion. i doubt they’ll get finished, but it’s the fact that i tried at all that makes it powerful.

5 now, as i wrap my cardigan around my knees and crush the life out of these frozen leaves with my weight it must bear, i contemplate the purpose of my existence as an individual among individuals. is it true that some are destined to live in the solitary confinement of their shadow, as a mere instrument of mimicry? that is all i have become. to serve the whims of another, willing to destroy the whole of my being just to catch another glimpse of him, to prove i have life worth living, pulsing throughout my chest. but now i sit, cracked, with my split soul, breathing life into these leaves, similarly cracked, and similarly dead, and similarly subservient to me. this is hope leaving my body. i can feel its warmth pour in drops at first, yet slowly collecting into a technicolor pool, paled slightly by my tears added to the mixture. i like pastels anyway.

it has been pouring since the encounter. whatever it touches lives again. my goal is to find the man. and hug him. and let the torrent of tears stain his jacket, and my soul to drench him in his ignorance, to heal him, for he is the broken one, not i. i am not cruel. i am not beyond help. neither is he. no one is evil. he is confused. i am confused. we are confused. i will heal him.

6 you ever have those dreams that seemingly go on for decades, that build their own narratives and relationships and struggles that become all the more important than your own as you reside within them for those few brief hours of rest? where you remember every detail of your fictional love’s morning routine, as it was your favorite part of waking up, watching them dance while brushing their teeth, and sing in the shower way too loud letting yourself join in and not caring about the fact that both sound like a duet of cats dying in the rhythm of california gurls? where you remember the pain of losing imaginary loved ones, those ones whom your entire being was poured into, that made you the best fictional person you could possibly be. where you wake up in tears because you died crying, in a hospital bed, not sure what would be on the other side, and it just so happens to be that this actual, tangible life was the alternative, even though you would probably prefer a legitimate death without this purposeless, lifeless existence you actually inhabit being a purgatory for the next 60 years. those dreams have been appearing to me more and more recently, and i’m sure there’s a reason for their occurrences. maybe its because of this crisp wilderness air constantly barraging me with endless strokes of its mighty wind, or the fact that i haven’t seen another person in three days, or eaten in almost two, or the fact that i’m kind of disintegrating before my very eyes. the puddle my heart has left keeps a nice warm patch on the ground where the grass has been reborn, but aside from that i am cold. very cold. i can see some lights in the distance, kind of like a hazy sea of distant fireflies, gracefully following their own solo lines while maintaining the integrity of the whole symphony simultaneously. it’s rather pretty. if it weren’t for this hypnotic flurry of flickering, i would pass it. but i am intrigued. what stories will lie here, who knows. i can only pray they will leave me more answers than questions.

7 as my eyelids rush to meet each other as soon as those faint, flickering lights form distinct rectangles, i find myself feeling oddly at peace with everything. as i give in to gravity and the earth whispers my name, may, may, lay your weary head upon my shoulder and allow me to bear your burden, all things become so very obvious. alike the situation that placed me here, skull against skin against upturned earth, i succumb to alluring temptation once more, with the knowledge that my limbs, although leaden, have lead me farther in this time alone than they ever had in the life i lead before, and that was a comforting thought. maybe this all was a worthwhile endeavor, as the crash of footstep berates my sensitive ears with their screeching calls.

if i had known he would be the stars, and the grass, and the earth, and all other things, maybe i wouldn’t have come here. it’s all intertwined, there’s no escaping this or that or anything or nothing because even absence leaves a gaping hole in my chest that leaks out like a starving child begging for sustenance, as tears flow and fears grow and lives are snuffed out, one by one. i would rather take their place, there. some of those starving people who will never have a chance could have a chance if i allowed them to have it. i’ve wasted my life, on things that never really mattered or cared, but they could have done something amazing, gone on to change the world forever, instead of having the soul sucked out of them as life pours out of their eyes like tears so similar. i wonder if anyone feels the same way about me, that i could be something great if i were only capable of and given the chance. i think about that a lot. the possibility of something else, of renewal, of happiness. it’s simply a thought, but it’s a thought worth thinking of.

8 i was asleep for a day, i was asleep for a thousand days. time is a petty quandary anyhow.

what was true was the tears – millions upon millions of tears begotten by the tortures of millions upon millions of demons locked away in one solitary skull. sleep was never my friend; sleep never attended birthday parties or called late at night to make sure arteries were intact or laughed at dumb jokes or anything like that. sleep was the listless vixen that cloyed at my mind, always tempting me to the brink of exhaustion but ever allowing me to partake, never allowing me anything but the utter agony of lack of control. but this was especially horrid, as the role had been reversed. now lady list had her tendrils firmly secured, her jaw relentlessly locked on my consciousness. left to her mercy once more, the agony poured from my eyes in steamy globs one after another as the pain throbbed in my temples because the temple of solitude within my mind had been breached ad neverendum. i was forced to play out the pain of my past as her poison passed through my porous brain, a catalyst for the horrors of the may that once experienced them to be rejuvenated with enthralled vigor once more. i was worse than dead. it should have left me there, to die in my own pity, convulsing and confused and scared. but that would be too convenient. eventually, her poison drained from the wounds i had inflicted myself, numerous and agonizing in their own right. i had to. it was required. i couldn’t stand the thought of it all anymore. you can only handle so much.

we’re only human.

well, most of us.

9 my eyes, shrouded with glistening stars that swirled around nauseously as i took in my surroundings, danced across this unfamiliar environment. scuttling feet enveloping my senses, in all senses but sight: no matter how hard i tried to focus on the brittle tile that sent shivers cascading through my body, no clarity ever emerged. i was left with a vague sense of the location i was residing within: the floor of a tavern. freezing, filthy. i was apparently dragged inside with no real thought as to my condition or situation: for if these fumbling buffoons were to realize the seriousness of my predicament they would surely be healing my every wound and bowing their head to the bobbing of mine, attempting to raise my upper body. neither of these conclusions were to be fully realized, though i thought myself a queen for a time: to control all things with but a mere breath, to flaunt one’s ability and status with crooning grace and fullness; capable of destroying the lives of those around me but being empathetic enough to allow their lives sustenance for another day, and letting the reaper grow thin and his scythe rusty due to my own diligence. i would be the master of mortality, able to move any single, simple soul to accomplish this countenance’s humble requests. one could actually compare these actions to those of

UP. AWAKE,. I, I FEEL, COLD. . WHERE IS MY HEART? ? IT’S BEEN BLEEDING ALL OVER THIS DAMNED FLOOR. MUDDYING UP THE BOOTS OF THOSE UNACCUSTOMED TO SUCH LOWLY TRIBULATIONS THAT ONE OF MY OWN STATURE MUST ENDURE. SO SORRY, , MADAME, MISTER, I SHALL ALL AT ONCE CLEAN MY PLACE AND PERSON AS TO BE AS TRIFLING OF A INCONVENIENCE AS POSSIBLE, I MOST WHOLEHEARTEDLY ASSURE YOU THIS IS COMMONPLACE FOR PEOPLE WITH ISSUES SUCH AS MINE OH YES PLEASE DONT TOUCH IT YOU’LL BURN YOURSELF. YOU’LL BE DAMAGED. WHYA RE YOU STARING/? AT ME LIKE HTAT? OH I MUST HAVE BEEN INTRUSIVE MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES I SHALL PACK MY BELONGINGS AND GO PLEASE SIR FINE SIR MOVE ASIDE, ,,, WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE, UNMOVING AND UNBLINKING AS IF THE WORLD HAS NEVER GRACED YOU WITH AN IMMOVABLE BEAUTY SUCH AS I? HOW RUDE OF YOU, I SHALL

run run run. run. run run? run, yes, yet my legs waver and mind shakes at the onset of actuality. this is not good. i must change course, find solace in the upstairs rooms, where i will surely pay for my intrusion into somehow. these awestruck peoples have been stagnant since my arousal, how peculiar– and this is coming from me! each step is as if my whole soul is to be thrust into the heat of a battle, and each cell inside my body are the unwavering yet unwilling soldiers who understand their demise is necessary and inevitable in order to protect those who admonish them on home soil as their greed stockpiles as quickly as complacency grows. i have been here for hours, it seems, attacking these cursed slopes that haunt my every movement, as i clamor up their taunting, unnervingly pearl-white faces. my chest heaves and my screams are apparent, but they are wholly necessary for the process at work here: yet still oblivious onlookers seem more interested in the past than present. the solid oak door moans as loudly as i: please, come inside me, come in and never leave, you are mine and always was. i was always one to give into temptation. the door swings with greased hinges, carrying me as momentum forces me to land on the bed directly in front of m-

ow. now i’m unconscious again, aren’t i? who knows how long i’ll be trapped in here. it’s pretty rank, too. i never much cared for it. i’d trade it out for a new one in a moment if i were able to, but those sorts of things are only what can come true in fantasy, and not reality, this reality of cracked and flowing hearts and polished white floors and hungry doors waiting to consume their next meal. this is reality. and i try so hard to convince myself that yes, reality is something worth fighting for, and here i am, at its mercy once again.

at least the floor is warm now.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.

[whifferdills]

“The Doctor Falls” quicktakes:

the cybermen scarecrows both make no sense and tie into so totally and terrifyingly into the overall theme of 'normalized horror' that if anyone is nitpicking based on Logic im gonna have to ask if you've ever enjoyed a piece of fiction, ever

Bill holding 12 is Iconic. the dark mirror of that one photoshoot where Sophie Aldred is carrying Sylvester McCoy. Companions Carrying Around Dr Who Forever

"how many times have you died?" "how many different ways?" like o.k. might be revealing too much of myself but this scene was hotttt

NARDOLE running away with purpose. that face

"oh, am i a woman now?" "well, kind of" "kiss me" "make me" "would you like to be alone?" im....fuckin. yeah

"which would mean more than it usually does" i n n u e n d o

that SONG what are they dancing to. if i remember to edit this i'll try and shazaam it

"old school, nice for a change," Simm!Master says while stroking his beard

Simm remains the slimiest of all Masters and the continuing sense of Missy playing along either to impress him or to play him or...these TWO

"Round??" "It's a little bit" "Shut up" THIS TIME LORD OK

shades of...what's that one where Simm pushes 10 around. Simm v much wants the Dr under his total control, but i think Missy would hugely prefer informed consent

confirming all origins of the Cybermen while dissing Trump and pulling off an unlikely plan: dr who in a nutshell

like even if what happens at the end did not happen, in an ideal world where narrative tropes are equally distributed, this is precisely how you'd do a conversion-type story. the emphasis on the character reacting against the monster they've become. having Bill be human!Bill for the most part really, really works

and the Dr being the only one who sees her, shades of "Last Christmas"

PCap going hard in the paint, dang

"Knock yourself out", and she does. nice

"Seriously, I need to know, is that true?" oh there's so much here and they're so close and it's just. how she looks at her hand after the dr lets it go, and rubs her face, and everything gets weird when dealing with touch telepaths

BILL MY GIRL GO GET EM

"the Doctor's dead, told me he hated you" "yeah heard you the first time" new dynamic: master/missy/nardole

the whole...dangerous person everyone is afraid of has a particular weight, when portrayed as a black lesbian. it's both kind of hinky and is getting at a really deep emotion, there. like sure it's not ideal but for Bill, dunno. this just seems like it rams in hard into her fears in an empathetic way

once again i do believe the Bill & Thete comparisons are deliberate

Bill looking into the mirror like...dang dude

Jelly baby?

aw the quiet whump, 12 is already broken and about to get more broken and. MY BOY. NO

they're so quiet, both of them. this scene is so heartbreakingly underplayed until the "i'm FINE" im

Bill yes i love you and support you

"why can't I be angry" ohhhhh that's a loaded line. maybe not played out so great but. yes. ask this question more, in your fiction

Nardole goes native once again. i love how him being a Computer Genius was woven into the series so he could save the day. nice organic arc, that

Bill & 12 brotp tho oh jeez these two

fuck off Simm!Master. so good at being slimy, and i love it, but a decade on am once again prepared to side-eye anyone who finds him Cute or Hot. he's a fuckboy, right

12's about to do a "Caves of Androzani" please no

Bill realizing 12 can't save her fuckin...fuck

"as my friend...i don't want to live if i can't be me anymore" and instead of "OH but i can SAVE THE DAY" the dr just says "...yeah. i gotchu. but - maybe?" and it's. thank.

 s o n i c  u m b r e l l a

is Simm!Master now sufficiently obviously gross enough for people to not write fluffy uwu fanfic

BILL MY GIRL

"Is the future gonna be all girl?" "We can only hope" CHINBALLS ARE U LISTENING

aw them three together pointing their sonics while Simm yells "kILL ITT" "well done, genius twins"

Nardole and his new girl...yknow, im happy for them. i like them. best of luck, godspeed

 "is it wrong that I... "yes, very" HOLY SHIT AKDIPAHFFHPIAFHPIAWk0R-RY*@%@

kind of a Night of the Hunter vibe here

and a "Listen" vibe

Nardole was found on a doorstep

god the Dr's desperation here, how they just want to be kind even if it kills them. this is My Dr Who, right here. and aw Pcap stop making me tear up

"just to the end, just be kind" thank you murray gold and etc for shutting up, this scene really benefits from a lack of music, can u imagine how much a standard Gold riff would ruin this (sorry i uhhh. like i enjoy gold in broader stories and sometimes he nails it but im not hugely a fan)

and how Missy almost, almost stays

and dR WHO please PLEASE oh god ohgodohgodoh

Them RTD Cyberman Noises

t h e  a p p l e  o f  d i s c o r d

like...okay this was not my dream ending for Twelvedole but the 'fuck off i'm a criminal im gonna ruin this so' and the 'you're stronger' and the.....fuck dude. and Nardole sort of saying goodbye at the tomb/elevator and then going on to live his life...it's bittersweet but i can deal

"You sure?" "You know i am" Aoufqurgo3qrq69r5674248148rfyhwekjs9d8f2q9(((((((((*^

"I need you to be big, and I need you to be brave, and I need you to follow me" NARDOLE

"Now that? was very really nicely done" i'm gonna fling myself into the sun

the Dr won't ever know that she meant to stand by their side and it's so them but it hurts ok

"You know how I go for girls and people my own age" and you're expecting like, oh god, not again, not another companion with a crush on the Dr, but then she says 'no hetero' and the dr's like 'yeh' and they blow themselves up together platonically. friendship goals

my headcanons about Koschei regenerating into Missy on Gallifrey are now kaput but i love, love love love, that they both shot each other in the back while giggling

remember that any character on this show is dead only until someone wants to bring them back

the dr won't ever know that missy would have stood by them and that's so...so them, and it hurts, but it feels right

12 naming off all the times Cybermen fucked shit up. here is where Murray Gold is good

"Let it go" im, i cant

when heather came back is when i outright started crying

BILL LIVES. in a different way. BUT FOREVER AND ALWAYS

but plus 1 to all of us who called heather coming back may they travel thru time and space happily, good luck and godspeed

hit or miss on that dude playing One but rn am erring on the side of it working for me

the Xmas special is gonna destroy me

am genuinely surprised there was no 13 here but i can deffo live with that

"i can fly anything, even you" oooHHHH

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH

nice

Bill's the Dr now

woo-ee-ooooh oh dogg was that a riff on Clara's theme just fuck me up fam

tbh i feel like 12's earned their 'i don't want to go' more than ten like it's just that they want to stop more than anything

again the xmas special will ruin me

but yeh i liked this story ok

[al1studies]

question tag

hey!! i was tagged by @sakura-studyblr to answer these questions about myself <3 under the cut!

i’m tagging some new mutuals who i’d love to get to know, but of course you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! (and if you’ve done it already, send me the link!) @martiestudies @fsstudies @m1n4 @babypandii-studyblr @astrnomy

LAST:

1. Drink: decaf mocha frap

2. Phone call: o wow i don’t even know? probably my doctor. i don’t make a lot of phone calls

3. Text message: the soonseok net group chat

4. Song you listened to: aju nice by seventeen :’))) i was having a throwback party while i was driving lmao and that was the first song i ever listened to by them!

5. Time you cried: last monday or tuesday? i’d reached out to an old good friend of mine after we ended on questionable terms 4 years ago and she responded and i sobbed for 45 minutes sdjfsjd (and we’ve been talking every day since)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: i’ve never dated but tbh i’d probably do this bc i’m a gemini

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i’ve never kissed someone! 0:

8. Been cheated on: soonseok cheat on me with each other every day

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: bitch i’m depressed all day every day

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope!

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. hmmm, light blue, millennial pink, and bright yellow!

13. o frick i did this wrong

14. ^

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes!

16. Fallen out of love: i fall in and out of love every single day at least once blame it on the cancer moon, gemini sun combo

17. Laughed until you cried: ya my dude

18. Found out someone was talking about you: not exactly but me and the captain of my mock trial team found out these members were talking shit abt how we were running things and the cap called them out y*kes

19. Met someone who changed you: of course!

20. Found out who your friends are: this is too deep, pls it’s 1:23 p.m.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope!

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t use fb anymore so idk

23. Do you have any pets: yes! i have a shih-tzu called cupcake and a cat called riesling and i love them with all my heart

24. Do you want to change your name: mmmm kind of, i love my name but sometimes it’s not gender neutral enough for me

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: my best friends threw me a surprise party and we watched john tucker must die :’)

26. What time did you wake up: i woke up once at 7 then went back to sleep for another 3 hours

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i was reading fanfiction i think???

28. Name something you can’t wait for: SEVENTEEN IN CHICAGO

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 20 minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my birthday. listen i know that’s weird but listen, if The Mother would’ve just held it in for another 16 hours, i would share a birthday with KWON SOONYOUNG instead of donald trump.

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing, cafe sounds around me i guess lol

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i live in The Rurals, of course i have

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: humans

34. Most visited websites: ao3, tumblr, twitter, google drive

35. Mole/s: ya

36. Mark/s: a ton! i’m freckled as frick, n i have this cute mark on the side of my wrist and one on my right boob l o l

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a vet for a long time but then it switched to writer

38. Hair color: dark, almost-black brown

39. Long or short hair: neither?? it’s like a little past my shoulders

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no comment

41. What do you like about yourself: im gay

42. Piercings: just the standard ear ones!

43. Blood type: i don’t know djfdjsfajd

44. Nickname: cam, cami, millie

45. Relationship status: in love with lee seokmin

46. Zodiac: gem sun, cancer moon, cancer rising, cancer dominant

47. Pronouns: they/she, i fluctuate b/w what i prefer a lot so they/them is probably safe but if we’re good friends you can use she/her!

48. Favorite TV show: stranger things, scream mtv, how to get away with murder

49. Tattoos: none but i might get one that says “As Hasari” (to heal) in victoria schwab’s handwriting on my wrist!

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: do wisdom teeth count

52. Hair dyed in different color: nope

53. Sport: i don’t play but i watch a lot of tennis. serena, venus, and muguruza are my queens

54. same

55. Vacation: philippines :( the motherland

56. Pair of trainers: i’m wearing adidas gazelles rn

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: a bagel with creme cheese

58. Drinking: coffee atm but i’d rather be drinking tea

59. I’m about to: get shit done at the bookstore café

61. Waiting for: my depression to take a frickin hike

62. Want: seventeen hitouch tickets

63. Get married: yes!!! one day, and this song will be my first dance

64. Career: i don’t really want to do just one thing! i’d like to be an editor for a publishing company at some point, but i’d also love to teach english abroad (asia, preferably PH bc i want to give back to my mother country) or work in google’s secret lab where i know they’re making that shit you only see in sci-fi movies

65. Hugs or kisses: both!!

66. Lips or eyes: sdjfasjdfjdfj lips tbh. i love a man/woman with nice lips

67. Shorter or taller: taller!

68. Older or younger: older just bc i’m 18 and would never date a minor or someone in high school lol

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: dksfsjdf i don’t really know but i love soft tummies and soft arms?? i’m not rly into super ripped/muscly guys (girls, on the other hand...)

71. Sensitive or loud: i mean u can be both

72. Hook up or relationship: i would say hook up but i know i would catch feelings so .. relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: ehhh for a significant other?? not really either, i wouldn’t date someone who gets me into too much trouble but i also wouldn’t date someone who can’t live a little

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no!

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: lmao every day my dude

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: i probably would, but i haven’t

79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope not??? djfjasdf

80. Had your heart broken: nope, i’m dead inside

81. Been arrested: no thank god, i’d probably have a nervous breakdown, not because of the police, but because my filipino mother would skin me alive

82. Cried when someone died: yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: NO DHJFAHSDFHSHF

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: i mean .. sometimes

85. Miracles: yes

86. Love at first sight: ehhh no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: yea, that’s how you know whether or not to keep them (i’m mostly joking but also kind of not)

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: megan, emily, zoe

91. Eye color: brown, basically black

92. Favorite movie: inside out and crazy stupid love :(( i can’t decide !!

[tragically-broken]

Tagged

Thanks to @dr-woodsprite for tagging me!!!

RULES: always post the rules. answer 10 questions. make 10 questions of your own and tag 10 people.

1. What sounds can you hear right now?

Ma watching reality tv again smh

2. Most scary-fun thing you’ve done?

When I was at a bachelorette party 2 years ago we went to a river and there was this big tree with steps on it.....if you know me, you know I’m a chicken. However, after much contemplation and some encouragement from a stranger I CLIMBED THE TREE AND JUMPED OFF IT AND I WAS SO SCARED IM SURPRISED I DIDNT PEE MYSELF. Bottom line I learned that taking risks can be really fun! 

3. Dream job?

Being a successful novel writer.....wow what a trip that would be.

4. For or against: sharing food when going out to eat?

Depends on what it is....if it’s things I can cut like fish, shrimp, bean burger fine, but if its soup, salad, icecream?? NOOOOOOOOOO WAY

5. High/Low: Today’s high point and today’s low point

High= I had an ice cream cone today

Low= I had to do a lot of cleaning

6. Have you ever witnessed someone giving birth?

Thank goodness no....and I hope i never have to. I’m on the fence about having kids tbh.

7. How old were you when you first traveled outside of your home country (and where to – assuming you’ve done so. If not yet, where would you go)?

I was 14 when I went to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip

8. Favorite smell?

My moms cooking on thanksgiving...wow just wow (on a more day to day basis i love the smell of rain&books)

9. What’s your go-to food dish you bring to dinners/parties?

Chocolate chip cookies are my go-to bc they’re easy and almost everyone loves them.

10. Last time you cried reading a book?

i cry whenever i read sjm’s books......

1. Brownies or Cupcakes?

THIS IS HARD. I’m def a sweets person sooooooo hmmmm I guess brownies if there gooey

2. The Vampire Diaries or The Originals?

TVD all the way. That show was my childhood rebellion. 

3. Favourite place you’ve ever been to (your couch counts too)?

New York baby

4. In which fictional world would you want to live?

oh gosh....they’re all kind of awful??? Prop Velaris post war

5. What is your Wand? (can be found out on Pottermore, just fyi)

6. iOS or Android?

iOS

7. Invent a funny nickname for Donald Trump

lol. it would just be insulting to the name. < I didn’t say this but it’s too good to change LOL 

8. Favourite blog(s)?

@@tintinnabulary@kylar-black@propshophannah@sparkleywonderful

these are just the top 4, so many of you are so wonderful <3 

9. What would you name yourself if you had the chance?

I actually really like my name....Victoria 

10. How long have you been on Tumblr?

since middle school and i’m in college now, so you do the math lol 

1. what type of a phone do you use.

iPhone

2. if you could kill someone this instant would you do it ?

Killing people is wrong, but if Trump were in front of me i’d be contemplating 

3. ends justify the means. do you agree?

Usually no, but depends on the situation

4. favorite holiday place/city/country.

I love Louisiana bc thats where most of my family is, but I also love NY bc its so magical there omg

5. if your choices were to sing or dance your way out of a bind what would you choose ? why ?

Sing, bc i might have a chance of recovering from it.....if you ask me to dance i’ll never be able to walk outside again...

6. favorite author !

SJM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. best tv shows that you think everyone should watch.

Grey’s Anatomy 

8. the most underrated book in your opinion.

The Selection series....PLS READ IT

9. the most overrated book in your opinion.

Basically everything John Green lol 

10. have you ever been to the opera ? if yes , describe your experience. if no, do you plan to, are you interested ?

NO! BUT I WANT TO SO BAD PLS TAKE ME 

Mine:

1. Fav flower?

2. Fav season? why?

3. Would you rather eat only meat or no meat at all?

4. Do you prefer a certain type of drinking water?

5. When’s the last time you talked to your mom? What did you talk about?

6. Top 3 fav movies?

7. Most listened to album?

8. Ever been to a concert? If so, what was your favorite? If not, who would you see?

9. Have you ever met anyone famous?

10. What are you wearing atm? 

Tagged: @kylar-black @tintinnabulary @sparkleywonderful @akcrion @degasdad@heyhappythoughts @iwouldtrusthagridwithmylife @photofeesh @rugrat-mama @lyschia

[radiohorizon]

All of them 😏

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Still want pancakes for breakfest? 2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? Nothing other than being friends3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? I would a lot and try and support them into recovery4. Is your last name longer than six letters? No5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Yepp7. What does your last received text say? “I don’t know”8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? A few times but it was all in one night9. Where was your last kiss at? My best friends younger siblings bed room on New Years10. When is the last time you saw your sister? Like .3 seconds ago11. What do you drink in the morning? Coffee or juice12. Where did you sleep last night? My bed13. Do you think relationships are hard? Hard but worth it14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Only thing i would do differently would be to try and hang out with family and friends more15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Nah, he’s one of my closest friends and we get along really well16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Rainy17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Nope18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Spandex19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? Honestly i dont know if ill even have the same friends 3 years from now let alone a relationship20. Does anyone like you? I dunno?21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? No but I wanted to kiss someone whos name started with an S22. Is the last person you kissed gay? Lmao no he’s straight as fuck23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Mhmmm 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? One i can afford it Im getting a lot tattoos 25. In the past week have you cried? Yeep26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Goldendoodle27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? Out of shower28. Have you ever kissed a football player? Yeah but he was shitty as hellll29. Do you think you’re old? Ye30. Do you like text messaging? Kinda sorta31. What type of day are you having? Good, i had dinner w my best frienda32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? I wanna but im a pussy33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Cold34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Andrew, Jarred, Tyler, Kyle35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? Relationship36. Are you a simple or complicated person? Complicated as fuck37. What song are you listening to? Im not listening to anything right now but my favorite song atm is Believer by Imagine Dragons38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 100%39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? Annabelle, my best friend40. What made you start liking the person you like now? We clicked instantly and kept talkig41. When did you last receive a text message?a few minutes ago42. What is wrong with you right now? Lmao thats a loaded question43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Extremely well, shes my best friend44. Does anyone disgust you? Trump45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? No, my head is all kinda of fucked up and so i am in no type of mental state to be in a relationship46. Are you in a good mood right now? I guess47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My mom48. What color shirt are you wearing? Pink49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Not that I can think of50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Never51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? I want to hate her but I cant52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? Ive wanted to but never thought of actually doing it53. Do you like rain? LOVE IT54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? No but if its out of control then I’m concerned55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Plenty of times56. Do you like to cuddle? Kinda. I like it but im so antsy so i have to move a lot 57. Are you shy? Depends on the situation58. Do you get along with girls? Sometimes59. Have you dated the person you texted last? No, shes my best friend who is straight and dating my guy best friend sooo😂60. What do you carry with you at all times? Hairties 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Dude i would for 5 bucks but only if i wasnt alone62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Yeah, longest relationship was 9 months63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Nope but I was talking to my ex and then she dropped me again surprise surprise🤷🏼‍♀️64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? YEESSS65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Idk prolly but i cant think of anything66. How old are the last three people you kissed? 17, 17, 1767. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Do them myself68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Zebra 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Dont have a car70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Lil wayne71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? Iphone72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Never73. Do you like diet soda? Not really74. What color are the walls in your room? Green, black, and splatter paint75. Are you 16 or older? 1876. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Yes😻77. Do you have a job? Dishwasher78. What are your initials? ERA79. Did you ever have braces? For 2 years80. Are you from the south? Lmao no im from PA/MD81. What does your last status on facebook say? Idek i havent put up a status in so long82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? No, we kinda just lost touch over the past two yeats83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Equally close w them84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Both and i love them both but dance is my true passion85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Annabelle: Creation and it was fucking terrifying86. Do you smoke? Not cigarettes if thats what you mean 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Converse88. Is your phone touch screen? Yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? In the summer natural waves but during the school year i tend to straighten it a lot90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Nope its literally impossible but ive snuck out of friends houses91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Lake92. Have you ever made out in a car? Nope93. …Had sex in a car? Virgin94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sleeping surprisingly96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? July 2nd during Police Explorers97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Eh sometimes98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Lmao yup99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Yeah😂101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Nope102. Name your favorite Kesha song: tik tok103. Do you have any tan lines right now? Baby ones on my butt104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Nopeee

[shrimpathy-for-the-rogue]

ANYWAYS

He went "this is my chance" so he asked me to homecoming and made me a mum (not an actual mother my british followers, a flowered pin that boys commonly give to girls to wear for homecoming. Kinda like a corsage, but not that) so not only did he make that, he took me out to eat with his family (i didn't realize it was a date at the time but YES it was a date, just with supervision, like some sort of uber religious "courting" shit) and he took me to the homecoming football game that he offered to pay for cause i was POOR and my aunt didnt want to pay because "oh boys should pay for the date" and "he already payed for it" so... Football. Yay...

So bla bla bla, football happens, bla bla bla, Chad asked me out and i didnt realize that meant as boyfriend and girlfriend, and basically, the dance sucked ASS because i didn't have a lot of fun knowing i stupidly said i would date someone i didnt like. So i thought about it, abd towards the end of the following monday, i broke up with Chad.

Over the years, Chad became an asshole and a trump supporter. Plus i believe if i stayed with him, i would still be forcing myself to be a girl, and that he would have abused me. Like he turned into a grade a ASSHOLE and i really doged a bullet with him. Anyways, months go by, and we finally talk about it. One of the first things that came out of his mouth is how i owed him $50, for the date, for the mum, and for the game ticket. Like.... I already felt bad dude, because i COULDN'T repay him, but ultimately, he's the one who wanted me to go to that football game, he's the one who surprised mw with dinner, and he didnt need to make me a mum. Like, sorry dude for bursting your ego, but if you gift someone something, and surprise them with a dinner date and them when things go well your gonna get mad and say i owe you money?! Like i get it. I could have maybe given it a chance, BUT I WAS 14 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Im glad, looking back, that i DID break up with him, cause every year he got more and more fucked up. Like i talked to him about my cat, and he told me how he would shoot cats that enter his property, or say how his dogs ripped them to shreds.

He turned from a decent guy, into a complete, and utter, chad, but hey! At least going to homecoming freshman year made going every other year even better.

Hey. If you gift someone something on a date, you shouldn’t ask for money back

So i was remembering back to my freshman year in high school. At this point i still thought i was a girl, and i was denying being into girls. That said, i had a friend (who for the purpose of not being sued, im gonna call Chad) now chad liked me, but i didnt like him more than friends. Like i remember the day, in 6th grade, at his house where he told me he had loved me, and i went “oh…. Cool.” We kinda grew distant a little bit, but we were still great friends in freshman year.

Freshman year came around and i was READY for homecoming. Like i BADLY wanted someone to ask me out imao, i was boy CRAZY. Anyways, when Chad found out that i didn’t have anyone to go with, and i guess he just rubbed his crummy little hands and went

[uncrownedkings]

So...

ive been seeing a lot of rather cringy lgbt+-related rant videos and posts on tumblr. these kinds of thing has been going on for a while now. i think maybe its just totally inappropriate timing what with all the trump dilemma that made ppl become more triggered than usual, but its come to the point where i have to go out of my way to make both a rant and a psa out of this post.  or maybe ive been following the wrong ppl.

anyways, those cringy rant vids/posts. they are usually white teenage girls who go on and on about how someone called them “miss” when “excuse me????” *cough cough* “ACTUALLY, im genderfluid.” 

ok. howbout YOU excuse me. bc frankly, you look like a “miss”, so thats why i called you “miss”. i mean like i wont call you a bitch until you look like a female dog. OH MY!!!! im sorry!!! youre genderfluid. my bad. correction: a genderfluid dog. so yeah, dont you act all triggered just bc someone assumed your gender identity incorrectly. how could i tell when you have your boobs falling out of your shirt?? you dont exactly announce your gender to the world, do you??? its only fair that i would assume so. empathize with the ppl who arent exposed to the different lgbt spectrums. dont rant about it. TAKE ACTION and take the initiative to point out their mistake. youre genderfluid, fine with me. that is my mistake, sorry for being ignorant and not noticing. pls correct me. its simple as that. why dont you have the nerve to correct them when someone mistook your gender, but you have it in you to go to fucking tumblr to rant about it? the mistake isnt gonna fix itself when you do so. it only gets fixed when you point it out to the person who made that mistake. what is your purpose here???? are you trying to get sympathy or attention?? bc youre not getting any from me. i dont care and im sick of it. if you want someone who does, go tell your mother. 

yall lgbt ppl assumed this “dont assume” policy for yourselves. im willing to follow, but there will ofc be ppl out there who are not aware. dont blame them. from the moment any child is born, they are subjected to this hetero-normative view of how a person is identified as.  they are programmed from a young age that there is an order in which a person follows. if youre not female, youre male. there seems to be no other option. being lgbt creates the opportunity to be someone else. not all ppl are exposed to this. those who do take advantage of it. 

im part of the lgbt community myself (as i am bi), but im embarrassed for what some of you have done to demean the value of the lgbt community. its like how ppl seem to always be hating on feminists all over again, bc of some ppl taking it too far and dont fully understand what it means. just bc you dont conform to the norms of society when it comes to sexual orientation doesnt mean you get any special favour. my friends, even the gay ones, have been joking around about how “omg youre cant do _____ just bc im gay like thats not ok.” but i find the truth in what they joke around about. ppl from the lgbt seem to always be finding excuses to be offended when someone comments on their sexuality. 

take it from my experiences. i live near two schools, so there are lots of kids in my neighborhood. the school im going to is a very multicultural public school that has a lot of brown and asian kids (my squad), and the other school is a prestigious private school specializing in art that is predominantly white. both schools are very close, so we know the ins and outs of each other. admittedly, i have lots of friends from both of the schools: lgbt friends, non-lgbt friends, and friends who jokes/pretend that they are lgbt. my point is: i know this kid from the private school. there was a rumour that he is gay. i confronted to him and bluntly asked him if he is actually gay. he started yelling at me defensively, saying “do you have a problem??? you cant just hate me bc im gay.” I DID NOT DO ANYTHING. i didnt speak to him again. on the other hand, theres this muslim trangendered boy in my school. hes quite famous due to his gender identity. when i met him for the first time, i asked him if he is transgender. he was cool about it and just simply said “yeah. im pretty famous in this school arent i?” he didnt get offended. he didnt act defensively. we were off with a very good start. since our school are more multicultural than the private school, a lot of us coming from eastern countries. eastern countries are more conservative and they dont take kindly to “different” ppl. he worked hard to be who he wants to be, and he is confident with himself and his gender. 

not totally unrelated to this, but im a friend of a girl who goes to the private school. nice kid, very cute, great at dance. she usually dresses in pretty dresses and skirts. but one day, she came in with jeans, sweater, and short boyish hair. everyone was surprised. then she told everyone she is genderfluid. there were a lot of genderfluid ppl in the private school, not so much in my school. when i asked her how she knew, she said why not??

it seems like there is a trend on being lgbt+, especially in this demographic (white, female, teen). as soon as its openly accepted, ppl will conform to become a part of this new thing. even after joining tumblr and seeing all these new lgbt+ categories makes me question myself. i tried to fit myself into this label, and i feel that this is what is happening. before it is accepted in western countries, the idea was very hush hush. now that everyone is beginning to accept it, suddenly everyone is lgbt. not like “oh im closeted bc lgbt is not accepted and now im out bc its accepted.” no, its like “oh this lgbt thing is pretty new! lets see which category i THINK i fit in the best and squeeze myself into this label.” im sorry, if youre an actual lgbt veteran and you have been fighting all your life for acceptance and equal rights. but there are ppl who are trying to conform to this lgbt+ “thing” bc it seems like everyone is out as well. there are even some ppl who would go out of there way to make a point that they ARE indeed lgbt+. you cant just wake up one morning and decide that youre suddenly asexual, or pansexual (when you havent even had a sexual relationship) or genderfluid. its not fair to those who have worked so hard. but then again, im in no position to tell you who you are. you are the controller of your life. but dont act all defensive and go crying to your followers just bc someone makes a comment on your sexuality/gender but  youre not confident/sure enough about it to forget and forgive. if this is truly who you are, then TAKE ACTION. you dont need to prove to me that you are lgbt, just simply embrace it by expressing it. BELIEVE IN WHO YOU ARE. and dont be ashamed. you cant stop someone from assuming when you yourself dont accept that fact. who cares what others think.

ok so. after all that longass rant with the telling of my whole fucking life story, half-assed motivational quotes, and some rather rude use of language, the moral of the story is: i dont have a problem with your gender identification or sexual orientation, im actually fine with it. but i do have a problem with people using that as an excuse to act all disgusted and horrified and lash out on social media when someone may or may not have intentionally “offended” them. if its actually offensive, fine, you are free to make a point about it and shove it up their asses. but when someone asks you if youre gay, you DONT FUCKING GIVE THEM YOUR ATTITUDE. saying yes is enough. its up to their discretion to either shrug and move on (which i would do bc i dont care about your sexuality) or they can punch you in the face like a fucking trump supporter that they are. it is only when they punch you that you fight back. DONT FIGHT WHEN THERE IS NO REASON TO FIGHT AT ALL. 

i know that there will be ppl who would be displeased with me. nvm, i dont think there would be that much ppl reading it in the first place. oh well. just trying to make a point. im not sorry that i made this post on this particular topic, but im sorry for the incredibly coarse/rude language. i have said offensive things that is borne from my frustration. if there are ppl out there who sees mistruths or ignorance in my post, you are welcome to enlighten me. my views arent rigid and im not exactly knowledgeable in this topic, so i am willing to change them if your point is valid.  but ill only be accepting replies with point, proof, and analysis. also, you are welcome to block/unfollow me as well, but tbh, i wont be posting these kinds of thing again anytime soon. ill just be back to the cute, unassuming anime blog that silently supports the lgbt+ community and strongly opposes trump. thank you for your time, and have a nice day.

[lemma-lassie]

All the asks

Here you go @advicefromanobody

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? A friend on our way to the ER for her tremors

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Yes?

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Some friends I recently reconnected with

4. Are you easy to get along with? Um probably not idk

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Nah

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Female musicians who are outgoing with a sense of humility and compassion

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Nope

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Matt because he keeps texting me but like I’m gay so

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on who it’s with

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? It’s been a while. Probably my bff @swawesome-wow

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Omg Harold confirmed”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? “Fly/I believe I can fly” (the glee version) “In Remembrance” (a Choral piece) “Dance All Night” Idk that’s all I got

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes yes yes yes yes but only when I’m okay with being touched so like don’t surprise me

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Somewhat? I prefer “fortune” to “luck,” but I don’t know why

15. What good thing happened this summer? I went to Vienna!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No…

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Im not up to date on enough information to make an educated decision

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I mean we’re friends on Facebook

19. Do you like bubble baths? No, I’m allergic to plants so the products usually irritate my skin

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yes, they’re an amazing family

21. What are you bad habits? So many?

22. Where would you like to travel? Greece, Germany, South Africa, anywhere possible

23. Do you have trust issues? Yep

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going the fuck to sleep

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Eyebrows?

26. What do you do when you wake up? Scream internally and then eat bread

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m already practically white, might as well go a little lighter

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My best friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Never been in a relationship

30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Not yet, but getting there

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Emma Watson and Bonnie Wright

33. Spell your name with your chin. Sbba

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Is karate a sport?

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV oh my god

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? So many times

37. What do you say during awkward silences? “Whelp.”

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? A passionate, selfless, intelligent, caring woman who can better me and whom I can better in return. And who is, like, gay

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? TARGET and dollarama

40. What do you want to do after high school? lol I’m in college so I guess I did something right

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No. I think it depends on the circumstance. For example, rapists don’t deserve a second chance

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Either I’m focused, pissed, exhausted, shocked, sad, or daydreaming

43. Do you smile at strangers? Yes, I always feel guilty when I don’t

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Mm, neither bc motion sickness and claustrophobia But I guess space

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My alarm

46. What are you paranoid about? My teachers being disappointed in me

47. Have you ever been high? Yes, once

48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes, far more than once

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Maybe

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Purple

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Probably hermione tbh

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish I could have more patience.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Elf because it’s cheap af

54. Favourite store? Target

55. Favourite blog? Uh

56. Favourite colour? Teal

57. Favourite food? Bread?

58. Last thing you ate? Rice with sausage and toppings

59. First thing you ate this morning? Chocolate croissant (usually toast though)

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I think like best science project in seventh grade, it’s kinda gone downhill since then

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nein

62. Been arrested? For what? No

63. Ever been in love? Maybe

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Truth or dare. Two friends.

65. Are you hungry right now? I wasn’t until you mentioned it

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Nah, my real friends are pretty great

67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? No

70. Names of your bestfriends? Maha, Joslyn, Sarah, Matt

71. Craving something? What? Sleep

72. What colour are your towels? Teal

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One or two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? My stuffed bear Patches from 6th grade choir trip

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 20ish I think

75. Favourite animal? Cats

76. What colour is your underwear? Grey

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate unless it’s icing

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Sea Salt Caramel

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Green and white

80. What colour pants? Green and white… I’m in pajamas

81. Favourite tv show? Sherlock

82. Favourite movie? Harry Potter

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? No

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? No

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? No

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Nemo’s mom

87. First person you talked to today? Joslyn

88. Last person you talked to today? …Joslyn

89. Name a person you hate? Donald Trump

90. Name a person you love? Joe Biden

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nazis

92. In a fight with someone? Not currently

93. How many sweatpants do you have? None and it’s awful please help

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Like 6

95. Last movie you watched? Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

96. Favourite actress? Emma Watson

97. Favourite actor? Alan Rickman

98. Do you tan a lot? It’s burn or nothing

99. Have any pets? A cat named Lily

100. How are you feeling? Tired

101. Do you type fast? Ish

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes

103. Can you spell well? When I wear my apnea device... damn apparently not because I read that as "sleep" not "spell"

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes

108. What should you be doing? Sleeping

109. Is something irritating you right now? People not doing their fucking work

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes, several times

111. Do you have trust issues? Yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My therapist

113. What was your childhood nickname? Lassie or Em

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes, many times

115. Do you play the Wii? Rarely

116. Are you listening to music right now? No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Not particularly

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes

119. Favourite book? 1984

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Only after scary movies

121. Are you mean? Only when I’m sleep deprived

122. Is cheating ever okay? Haha no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Never tried

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? I guess?

125. Do you believe in true love? Either you love someone or you don’t, it’s just whether or not you’re honest about it

126. Are you currently bored? A bit

127. What makes you happy? Music, bread, sleep, friends

128. Would you change your name? I would change my last name to my middle name to reflect my mom’s family

129. What your zodiac sign? Capricorn

130. Do you like subway? Fuck yes

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Remind them that I’m gay af and that they have a girlfriend

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My best friend

133. Favourite lyrics right now? “I slept in last night’s clothes and tomorrow’s dreams but they’re not quite what they seem”

134. Can you count to one million? I sure hope so but I’m not about to try

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? That I bought veggies and not dessert

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed tf I don’t trust people

137. How tall are you? 5'7"

138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavy?

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette

140. Summer or Winter? Summer

141. Night or Day? Day

142. Favourite month? October

143. Are you a vegetarian? No

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark

145. Tea or Coffee? Tea, always

146. Was today a good day? Lol no

147. Mars or Snickers? Mars

148. What’s your favourite quote? “We all must make the choice between what is right and what is easy.”

149. Do you believe in ghosts? I’m not sure

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Effects of age on detection of emotion”