#like im not mentally well but here I am thinking huh you should try and lose weight too

[skinreflectsthesun]

.

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[yuikira]

𓈒࣪ The "you" shaped spot ₊✧

warnings: pure fluff, one implication of having sex, bits of crying, hurt/comfort, ooc kinich, very self indulgent, i apologize for mistakes.

GOD THE ANGUISH I FEEL SINCE THERE HAVE BEEN NO GOOD KINICH FICS RECENTLY

m so sorry mualani i love you but i hate you coz you're so shipped w kinich it makes me cry in anguish burn in despair and writhe in pain..coz hes mine. not yours. never yours (guys am i mentally ill)

"y/n?"

well, this was strange. if he still remembers how to read the time correctly, it's 3:30 pm and you should be at home today. yet he couldn't hear a single sound from the shared household, implying you were, infact, not at home. huh? that was wholly strange. you both had no urgent tasks for today, so where were you gone? your date was in 1½ hrs time, so he didn't have a tinge of worry about it. he knew you'd return by that time, even if you were gone somewhere. but where did you go anyway? to the balcony? xilonen's workshop? ororon's fields? mavuika's chambers? ifa's vet?

it was almost 5:30 by the time his patience finally ran out. you were nowhere to be seen, noone knew your whereabouts, your departure time was unconfirmed, and you didn't even tell him about it. he tried to distract away the thoughts that eerily haunted his mind, 'what if she's in danger? kidnapped? or perhaps, dead?'

he'd get nothing out of overthinking. finally, it all clicked to him where you could perhaps be found.

shit, and was his intuition right. he could hear the sounds of violent sobs drifting off in the sea breeze, some sniffles and pieces of incoherent speech here and there. they were yours.

"y/n? y/n!"

he gently held your shoulders and tried to pry off your palms from your face. is it too late? at last as he finally managed to do so, he saw your tinged red eyes, indicating you've been crying for a lot of time.

"what happened to you? babe? are you okay? please tell me- what happened to you? please, please please-"

"im fine, ichi, its alright"

"you dont look alright at all. what happened to you? who did this to you? this sadness?"

"oh it's just..um..this is embarassing.."

"no tell me, please baby, tell me. if you don't tell me and start crying again, i might just start crying too. please tell me"

"um.. it's...basically, these past few days I've felt like... you're.. avoiding me. like...everytime i try to approach you, you just- you just..shut me down. push me away. it maybe because I'm not living upto your expectations, but these past few days I've been feeling like you spend time with mualani more than me. it hurts so bad when my inner thoughts whisper to me, haunting me by saying stuff like you're giving the same lovesick smile to her as you do to me, and falling for her and- mfhm?!"

oh by gods, the way kinich just tenderly held you yet kissed constrastingly different, almost making you feel dizzy and lightheaded. you knew you weren't in the right state of mind after crying and struggling with your thoughts for so long, and his intoxicating kiss didn't help the matter at all.

at last when he finally pulls his lips away from yours, a tinge of bemused smile rests on his slightly chapped lips. him? in love with mualani? he'd rather give away his body to ajaw and keep himself locked in a small piece of memory inside your heart, so that as long as your heart beats, you both never get seperated. that was the best deal for him.

"look, im sorry I didn't tell you earlier and I'm sorry if I don't live upto your expectations and or are falling for mualani, its completely alright and-"

"Are you insane?"

"huh?"

"You are the words etched into my heart. You are the blood in my veins. You are the god I was born to worship. Who am I to commit such blasphemy?"

"i-ichi-?"

"You are the knowledge I seek. The love I pray for. The reason of my existence. And you still think I'd leave you?"

"wait no ichi i-"

"The symphony of my beating heart belongs to you. Only you. For long as I'm alive, its bound to beat for you. I love you, y/n. I love you so much."

Teardrops began to fall from your eyes again as he finished speaking. He'd never, ever been good with words, reflecting his love and care with his actions instead. Although he's trying to be more and more vocal for you, you'd never expected this from him.

That was the moment you realized, his heart was 'you' shaped, with every single bit of his sanity dedicated to you.

"And no, I.. I'm so sorry if i made you feel as if I'm avoiding you. I'm infact not. It's just the fact that.. I'd been trying to plan a surprise for you for our 4th anniversary, but..looks like I wasn't so slick with it. I'm sorry"

"No, no, it's fine, it's fine. I misunderstood, no need to apologise" you shook your head while holding one of his hands, the other wiping your tears off as he gently places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"It's partially my fault, for making you feel this way. Let's go home, yeah? I'll try to make it up to you. Brownies and making love later?"

You smiled. "I love you so much, it's hard to put into words like you did"

"I love you more. You're forever my girl"

[velvetvexations]

It is so unbelievable how many fucking anti transmasc losers there are!! It's unbelievable, it really is just like ace discourse. Every fucking blog, I have to search 'transmasc' and 'TME' just like I had to search 'ace' and 'asexual' back in the day People will JUMP at the chance to do this shit over again huh

You should read up on the Cultural Revolution because it just keeps happening.

Ok not to double send but...

Blogs like yours do WONDERS for my mental health. Knowing there are actually people in my corner while I realise I'm a trans man is phenomenal

I'm glad to help! <3

my passing status is nebulous. sometimes i pass, but mostly i dont. im a trans guy with a thing for crossdressing so sometimes i have actual, legitimate euphoria vibes over just... sitting in my car and looking feminine. like "you all think im a girl but SECRETLY IM A BOY!!!" and it feels really good because like. yeah. i can look like a girl but nothing will change that i am a boy 😊😊 trans guy crossdresser again, my passing status is also really weird because i am intersex. my mustache confuses people, and that's great

That's similar to how I feel. People think I'm misgendering myself when I call myself male but it's more like I'm asserting dominance over gendered expectations lol. I'm male and I'm still a woman anyway.

thank you for your blog. a musician i really respected went super anti-transmasc recently and its really hurt, and the stuff here makes me feel like. less insane for having an issue with it

I'm really, really sorry anon. I love you a lot. <3

love that this person is calling people who believe that trans men can be oppressed "chuds", a word that is mostly used to talk about right-wing conservative men

transandro reactionaries dontcha know

"internet tough guys" still exist in 2024?????????????

Someone said something like "no one wants to fight you" and I was thinking "no actually I'm dead serious I would actually."

anyone who tries to debunk transandrophobia by throwing in "you people" has automatically lost the argument imo. but also I need to rant. as That Guy in your inbox who hangs out in bear and leather bars it makes me genuinely want to chew through the floor when people are like "oh well queer people don't demonize masculinity" GO OUTSIDE. YES THEY DO. there is a REASON fat hairy balding men tend to have our own damn spaces, because no one else will take us. FUCK.

if people want to insist that everyone around them has always recognized their soul-gender and no one is ever treated like anything but what they identify as maybe they should stop talking about what genders that aren't theirs experience

I'm a bisexual trans man who does not pass and never will pass and I have spent over 30 years of my life being told my experiences aren't real mostly by other queer people and I am so, so, so, so, SO jaded by it. I'm done. If you tell me "your lived experiences are not a real thing" then you're the villain. I can't stand it. I genuinely cannot take it anymore. I have absolutely nowhere to go and I feel so unbelievably hopeless.

Try to hang in there anon. It's okay to disengage and avoid discourse. I know it's not always possible, but there's nothing wrong with unplugging from this shit as much as you can. You have to focus on your happiness.

I love you. <3

[inventedfangirling]

ONLY FRIENDS EPISODE 8 LIVE REACTION POST

I AM SO SO NOT READY for raymew...more like im not ready to see Sand hurt but arggghhh lets goooo

ohno ray seems to have not been a great influence on mew

okay i LOVE how protective cheum seems over mew but hello where was all this love and concern for ray all this while like whats that about !??

my gawd First is so dang good in this scene with Khao not like im surprised but gawd the hurt is hurting and it is not one bit comfy but again nobody should expect messy gays the show to be a comfort watch lmao

OHMYGOD why is everybody so good at their jobs...we barely knew anything about plug and yo's relationship but was that scene IMPACFUL or what!!!

no matter how much mental torture this may offer, its great that we also have guaranteed quality performances like wow what a pleasure it is to watch them perform

i get that top seems to be very much in love with mew but him acting all holier than thou about smoking PLS bit rich coming from somebody who literally cheated on him like WOW yes mew TELL HIM

I ADORE TF OUTTA HIM BUT PLS NO NOT FIRST SINGING

my gawd ray getting on my nerves he's so selfish wanting to have both mew and sand and using his cuteness to get his way like excuse me who allowed you outta my pocket and into the world where you can hurt sand GET BACK IN HERE!

my gawd ray using all his perusasion moves and then some but sand standing his ground multiples times im SO PROUD OF HIM 🥹

ray did not just use orphans to get sand to agree like arrest him milord its too much!!

oh damn top approaching cheum for help, man clearly serious about his concern (pretty obvious/out there prediction based on how you think but mewtop endgame methinks :3)

okay papang's character CLEARLY has just work on his mind SURE completely his excited thirsty looks giving NOTHING away

STFU did i just see boston looking at a selfie of him and nick while drinking alone in a bar WOW did not think i'd have lived to see this day lmao

is it just me being too sandray biased or did raymew not have much chemistry in that library scene...the way ray said you look delectable felt mechanical sorta like its something he just read off a script in his head and not what he thought of right then...probably also due to it being early days together but also i did NOT hear ray say that he doesnt want a band anymore...i simply didnt hear it...it makes me feel NOTHING

why the fuck have all these people been invited these two self destructive boys have evidently NO clue in life...as expected i mean lol otherwise whats the fun in a show about a bunch of well adjusted adults with entirely healthy relationships lmao

STFU did mew just try coke NOMYGAWD this is gonna be such a train wreck of a party I CANNOT

gawd pretty boy ray (SO PRETTY but also)whipped af he's gonna hurt so so bad when he realises mew has been knowingly or unknowingly using him to get over or spite top

zjnsnsjs what was that laugh mew did when ray asked if cheum invited top...book looked so HOT and MY GAWDS TOP GUN TOP AHRJMSNANSKAKA

is ray thinking what im thinking?? that mew is showing more emotion in the past 1 minute than he did the entire time they were together and it was entirely directed at top!?

ahjansnnsjsjs mew you menace that was such a badass move im gonna forgive you for using ray and making out with him for a hot second cos WOW

sand nick moving on buddies CUUUTE if only the moving on was working out for either of them 🤧🤧

wow nick has got some guts walking upto ton like that after having secretly recorded him and ruined his friend group...im dyingggg at his (desperation dressed as ) confidence

not to get distracyed but that teeny glimpse of neo's forehead through his fringe making me wanna scream...he looks so so sooo goood argh WHY DO THEY COVER IT UP HUH FOR WHAT?? FREE THE FOREHEADS!!!

2 freddie mercury's making out at a halloweeen party...woulda been such an iconic moment...ray playing spoilsport boy you better get back in my pocket (THREAT)

AABNANAN RAY DID NOT JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE DID MY GAWD HE'S SO!?????

When tf is ray gonna learn not to kiss people without their consent he making me madder and madder!?!?!

holy fucking shit sand's expression after ray said "you love me" !?????? im so devastated at that milli second of a reaction FIRST IS SO FXKING GOOD!??

"you're mine no matter what!????" um how DARE he!????

YES SAND GOOD ON YOU IM SO PROUD OF YOU ray you better count your days im coming for you😤😤😤😤

mew breaking up with top cos he cheated on him to be with ray who has "always" been faithful to him and this always faithful guy just decides to offer himself to his "fuckbuddy" and some other random dude from the party so easily?? gawd i feel bad for mew.

i know mew is going through hell and sorta acting out...but my gawd unhinged mew is so hot????? i feel like my brain is turning to mush everytime he does something wild

pls that bgm in the topmew scene...no matter how this scene ends...they have to be the endgame i really dont see a way around it

cheum deciding to draw boundaries and blaming ray for showing no concern for her and ruining things while the police are literally checking the room for drugs after having pinned ray down is just the sorta shiz the show promised and it has delivered so good i could scream into my pillow for hours

2 seconds...thats all it took for khao to make an impact with that scene...he's MAGIC i tell you

cheum and april should just run away together just for a while give themselves some peace of mind

pls the romcom music for topmew its driving me insane.....this was supposed to be my sandray WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG

sandnick cuties I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC ARGH...whether its kept as moving on partners or new found besties or even fwbs...i am full on supporting that shiz...sand deserves some fun too

cant believe boston was the least active character today...i almost have humane feelings towards him wow

sghahnsnznsjwjzjjsjsjsnjs omygod next episode preview ducking hell

Forget everything i said about sandnick and arresting ray and being mad at him...i am still mad but ahhh sandray my babies WE ARE SO BACKKKK....they better have a proper talk so ray can apologise and start off on a proper note or else imma lose it again but ahhhhhh i havent smiled at a preview in a loooong time fuckkk feeels goood😭😭😭

[coto524]

jesus fucking christ it's relentless huh

2024 so far has been:

utterly failing to keep on top of things. the house is a tip and im forgetting to brush my teeth again and i keep going to work in uniform i've forgotten to wash

mam has been getting on my nerves more than usual and i can't tell how much of my frustration is justified and how much is me not taking care of myself (especially with longer workdays / less sleep)

expensive. i had a root canal in january and this month i'm having a crown and in a few weeks i'm going back to cambridge for a weekend and in march i'm heading on my interrail trip

i'm looking forward to my trip in the abstract but. i need to sort out so many things in advance and i Can't. i keep thinking about the accommodation i haven't booked and the train reservations i haven't got and what i'm gonna do in each city and i just. can't get round to it. and i need to sort the house out at least somewhat before i go and i. can't

the cat managed to injure herself on thursday night so it was a trip to the emergency vet and then the daytime vet on friday and then looking after her this weekend and mam's taking her back on monday to have x-rays and it's probably fine but everything is so expensive and they said in the rare event there might be a tumour cats handle amputation very very well and. if it's something serious it's going to come down to whether we can afford to treat her or not. and i don't want to worry for no reason and i know part of it's the gabapentin but she's being so quiet and i hate it hate it hate it and i know at some point we'll have to lose her but not now not like this

people keep suggesting i'd be better in another job and recommending vacancies they've seen that they think i'd be good for and even our manager's started saying "whenever you do leave the team we'll be sorry to see you go" .. the whole world and their mother is convinced i should be striving onwards and upwards and i don't know how to tell them that i'm falling to pieces just trying to work a band 2 job averaging <30 hours a week. that it looks like i can either be employed or look after myself but apparently i can't manage both. and on my days off i don't even do anything to catch up so i don't even know if that's right.

cambridge is going to mean seeing everyone from uni and all the progress they've made and here i am. same as i ever was. and my sisters are coming over and i'm eternally grateful for the help they gave us last year but they're going to ask questions about what's happened in the meantime and i won't be able to give them any answers they'll like

this last one isn't even a major thing but. i'm lonely. the guy i was banging moved out of area and everyone who seems interesting keeps airing me and it's definitely nowhere near my top priority but it's also. really not helping my mental state

reading this all back it looks like i'm having a panic attack and. i don't think i am? i'm just so so tired. and when i stop and try and put it in words i feel stupid for not seeing the problem earlier and stupid for not dealing with it the way that everyone else seems to manage.

[appleatcha]

I had a long winded thing typed and tumblr deleted it 😭 so here we go again !

I wanted to waffle a bit about the shift in tone/aura of my blog lately.

My blogs vibe has shifted a lot since its inception, but I had really gotten into this "positivity inclusive (read: anti-trad/anti-terf) housewife" thing in 2023. And in the months I spent focusing on that in my life I learned so much about gratitude and positive thinking that has truly fundamentally changed my mental health and how I see and experience the world around me. But it always felt like I was just ignoring a huge part of myself.

I would come on here and write about gratitude and positivity and subconsciously I feel like I postured myself as this elegent and soft spoken lady when thats....not me at all. I am an air-headed and ham-handed lady that either doesn't take something seriously or has panic attacks over how serious i believe something is. I am awkward and stiff and most importantly I am NOT a positive, perfect kind of person that I feel like my blog gave off. I am an anxious mess and have a tendency to be negative. Which is a big reason why I focused so much on positivity and gratitude, which again has really positively impacted me. Even with my anxiety and mental health struggles I am way less negative than I ever was before.

I've mentioned before, but the end of 2022 brought up some challenges for me that I had never encountered before and never thought I would encounter. And I feel like I really grabbed onto the whole positivity/gratitude shtick as a way of avoiding coping with that. But when my I had to resuscitate my husband last month along with a few other stressful things that were new experiences for me, I think it kind of "uno-reversed" the stress of late 2022 and I had a real "I've lost myself bit" introspection.

I've said it twice, but the complete focus on positivity and gratitude and my role as a wife and a mother helped me so much. So much in fact, that I spent some time struggling with the thought that I'd lost myself a bit. I had this thought of "well, this way of thinking and living has done me so good, why should I ease off the gas?". But in focusing so much on that side of me, I was neglecting the other side of me. I couldn't tell you how many times my husband would sit me down and say something to the effect of "Nivids, you're going too hard in the sauce. You don't have to put all your eggs in one basket" and I would write it off. And as usual, here i am realizing that he knew me better than myself all along yet again!

So I've been trying to let loose on here. I refused to post about my interests on here beyond "nature, appalachia, housewife, positivity, gratitude, and occasional witchery" because I didn't think my weird interests or humor could mesh well with it. But im trying to just not give a damn. This has also coupled with an effort to engage in my silly weird interests in my real world life as well.

My husband points out a lot that I don't let myself enjoy my own things. One thing about my husband is that he drops some harsh truths sometimes lol. One big one is that 99% of the situations i feel i CANT do something, i am just not letting myself do it. For example, if I lament that I haven't had a chance to watch a video I've been waiting to watch because my son has been watching his stuff on TV, he will say "you can tell him he's had his turn and watch your tv" and I think "wow, I guess I really did just want to feel powerless to validate my inaction huh". And I think I've been doing a lot of that self-regulation this year to cope with everything that's been going on.

All of that is to say, I am sorry if you followed me this year because you are a fellow housewife and enjoyed my peaceful, nature-centric positivity and are like WTF happened to this girl when I start posting Mary Reilly, Chris Fleming, and clown doll lmao

[eyecandytk]

Maybe you can’t love 2 people. Idk but I had noooo idea this man cared 1/2 as much as he’s making this life or death right now. Which again I feel is only going on cuz you’re involved. I think we r at a point where I’ve done to much in his life for him to want to let me go. U would think I came home and packed up all my stuff the way he’s acting. He’s asked me if I would’ve married him n still spoke to u he wasn’t happy that I said I would’ve spoke to u b4 we got married regardless of eldy which is true I would’ve eventually. I explained to him in 3 different paraphrases what MY intention was years ago that day. My sisters right I was selfish and should’ve stop considering not hurting people feelings and just focused on my own. I wouldn’t be all the way here today if I did. He even went as far as asking me if the eldy thing was all made up like 3 days after he had already msg u. Like so u think me Marc n eldy r jus great actors huh. I c now im with the pettiest man alive and def a great manipulator as much as he doesn’t want to identify as such thats all these years have been manipulating to control when I add it all up. I was able to identify the manipulation better now that all this happened and he trying to hard to tell me what I think and what’s best for me and what I should feel. We will last, well he asked me to give him a chance to try to change. Idk I’m kinda over expecting anything as far as change. The issue he’s having with me is that he keeps thinking that I’m thinking about you when we r becuz it’s been different VERY different 🤭 🤷‍♀️ idk maybe I am maybe I dnt wanna accept that I am anyway he knows the truth and he thinks theirs a way to change how I feel and I can fall back in love wit him and ima try for my kids I am but it’s jus not working. Like I was done b4 i wrote the letter. Tbh idk if him and i r even moving back to jersey together or separated….time will tell but take care of yourself and again im sooo sorry his ass msg u cuz I wouldn’t want nobody msging me if it was the other way around. Well no I would probably stir the pot and send her nudes 😅 lemme stop 🤣dnt listen to me! I too and in a bad space mentally I think we all r at this point this is all a mess😩. Idk if he believes that I didn’t meet u in person or not but he should cuz if I did there wouldn’t be so much back in forth. Please dnt let Hercules over here make u believe he’s some savior. He just started being able to do anything for me within the past 8-9 months of 14 years so yeah he can calm his paycheck down. Mind u I lost a kid in sept and had to get one of my fallopian tubes taken out cuz of it. Thankfully I can still have kids but he was certain he didn’t wanna have an another kids at that time.To now he’s tryna force me to get my birth control taken out cuz all of sudden he wants a daughter🤣🤣 like my nigga go on ain’t shit coming out that’s for sure. Until I have complete clarity if I’m even around for the clarity but yeah I had no idea the thought of you was such a threat or issue. He’s overthinking this whole thing and think your being spiteful told me how could I care for u after eldy and all and idk how I jus do. He tried to blame his behavior the past couple years on the fact that he felt i was always contacting u or we were whatever all these years 😔 I’ll never clear my name 😅 so there won’t be trust what r we doing. He made me promise not to speak to u or contact u while we r working on things. A promise is a comfort to a fool that’s why I dnt promise shit now. He will never no what we discussed beyond what I verbally tell him. He asked to read our msg but I had deleted everything by then and I’m sure that’s what really eating him up inside. He will have to live that as I am.

P.s. so honesty hour, by the end of all this typing I realized he’s right I am thinking about you in that moment. so we can’t ever meet 😪that will be a huge problem and Ik myself

[forsuremabe]

Neophilia

i am going to be honest and unapologetic this time around. Im not even going to edit this post as I go through, it is free for fault. I don’t even know if that was the right grammar for it. But, today or tonight marks an accounting of my thoughts, experiences, process and memories of my journey. My journey to become an investigative journalist! For a sec I found, by default, editing through my words for two words! Again! Even just now! Erase erase erase. I am trying to stop stop doing that and just commit to whatever my mind lands on. For this nook of the internet is my safe space. So going back I will be documenting everything here and provide a space that will let me explore this journey properly. And if you happen to stumble upon here, welcome to the ride! So, first agenda! BE CURIOUS.

I searched up on Google—-the new god of the century—-about curiosity. For what the technical meaning is and what it takes to be curious. Oh! Before that, I shouldve said this first well I couldve interject this part smoothly…anyways. I was thinking of what kind of journalist I would want to be? *Ive been. No! I was! Because I have a clear picture now of what kind of journalist i want to be. An investigative journalist. I came up to the conclusion after countless of stories in different genres that I consumed day in and day out. I was self-aware for the most part by checking or tuning in to myself if this piece is something that truly peaks my interest. One day I found myself being interested in filmography and I wanted to write about that. Then I found myself imagining myself as a correspondent or a docu journalist with my own segment in a channel. Pretty big huh? I thought I can be useful to more people If I become a private investigator journalist for the public? If that makes sense. Kind of like an FBI —-yeah like an FBI. Then I wanted to sneak in the party pads of celebrities especially their yacths and mansions. Yesterday, I found myself looking at the mirror and proud of the fit that I managed to fix. And thought, perhaps I can be a lifestyle or fashionista journalist. It was a mess in the head and it clearly took a mental toll in me. Didnt help when Nana’s echoing voice roared in my head after I told her that I quit my bank job, “You should’ve held your butt on your chair! That was dumb!”. She is not my first hater in life and in fact she is not even a hater. She is the person I would think who really wants the best for me unlike the rest of the haters I have come to known since I was a kid. They wanted to see me fall and Nana doesn’t. And so, there was an added pressure of I really gotta prove myself. So! I can’t be loosey ducky here and I should really get it straight and work on a plan.

Finally! I plan to become a full-fledged investigative journalist because that’s what I thought would allow me to explore any type of questions that I have in my life. I was boxed in a category my entire life and when I was washing the dishes I realized that! I thought to myself, hold up! Why do I have to box myself as either a political journalist, a life journalist etc etc. I will write whatever I want and with whatever order I want. Oh also sprinkle sprinkle of some creative writing for my own fictional autobiography. Eheh.

So here I was, I asked google. What does it take to become an investigative journalist? Here’s what AI gemini recommended to me:

“To be a successful investigative journalist, you need a strong combination of curiosity, persistence, excellent research skills, a keen eye for detail, the ability to source credible information, strong interviewing techniques, a deep understanding of relevant laws and ethics, and the courage to pursue stories that may be controversial, often requiring months of dedicated work to uncover and verify information before publishing.”

We start with being ‘Curious’

And so I thought I sho—-this post has a lot of ‘I thought’

I should stop doing that. I can use better words to express my ruminations? Ehhh I need to read more dictionary. Therefore, I start with the definition of the word Curious.

I am currently reading its definition and I will update about my learnings once I am done. As a reminder to myself and to anyone who will be reading this and expecting a continuation…

Becoming an investigative journalist requires months of dedicated work. MONTHS. I will be okay for not accomplishing the milestones that I or the society have imposed on me on a certain period, time or age. I can accomplish them in my own time. To be fair, I have accomplished more than enough in a span of two months.

I am writing more.

I am reading more. I just read and finished two books! I couldnt finish a book in a month before! (Before, I couldnt finish a book in a month)

I have published two works. (Clearly need more editing and to remember mental note: edit edit edit personally before publishing. Never put sole trust on AI for grammar issues. Hey! That’s why I am taking ESOL for my first semester)

I pulled myself out of the matrix!!! Wooohooo. I am looking and living life in my own terms! My own fucking terms. I can’t fucking waste that now right?

So, I’m okay. I am alive and I am curious.

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

some externalizations from mod sundew. its long, irrelevant, and rambly so, cut :-0)<

guh. weve had. calliope finally step out of the metaphorical cupboard i shoved her in, a five pebbles resurgence (he decided i will be bodilt wearing a trans flag for the forseeable future and i could not agree more), locust trying to get the body to break something, looks to the moon came back and shes a comfort headmate i think- caretakers the word. uhh god. am i missing something

im gonna be mentally hugging a fat blue robot for a while.

its wierd to explain but like. i guess the kind of- our body gets really really- right- better phrasing: we're super like touchstarved. and touch is a really good way for us to calm down, but with our moirail living on the other side of an ocean, well yknow. so like. idk basically think if maladaptive daydreaming was less maladaptive, more(?) involuntary(??? (it occurs to me i dont know the mineutia of what maladap dayd actually Is)) and also shaped like a blue robot with paradoxicaalgy squishy everything.

ouhhh

what was the tag pepples used for his rambles, iterational externalizarion or something... maybe i should call mine weufing or yapping. what are husky noises called. awoowa borealis? well now i have to call it that...... no.. nevermind

calliope the headmate is so small in headspace. this is like. a whole ass child. like four feet tall what Are you you tiny wierdo

she is So incredibly a Something bearer though. intrusive bearer? like mituna but Not. Mituna but instead of impulses its something else

BSM appeared for the first time since. forever ago... ironically actually now that i think of it... her original forming was. Also while we were talking to a distressed Australian who is younger than us. note to self, BSM is all australian queers' sister i guess.

Ob also by the way headmate Locust is Sooooo a BPD holder. that little bug's borderlines can SO personality. its disorderly.

Pebbles being here and the Catharsis from . the crying. has made us. Angry. thats good. Anger is a very. very good thing for us. bodily, systemly. nothing convinces us to overpower our limitations like boiling fury.

Oh oh oh ... ohhh god who was fronting i think it was me yeah cause that was- Yeah that was me! ok i showed our art to a couple of the workers at the rafectory- the uhh cafeteria at my college, the lady who works shifts at the desk and who i always make a point to talk to, since i once accidentally said "you too!- er- eventually!" to her when she said enjoy your meal- i showed her our sketchbook. ot was really cool. it made our day i think.

huh this is probably what pickle was talking about when they (not to self ask pronouns) reprimsnded about uh. vent blogging. euuups.

[wooahaeruby]

WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLL IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 GODDAMNNNN THAT WAS SO INTENSE BROTHERRRR, and also finally I see the enigma’s chapter is here huh, dear readers it was our own dear seungcheol who always threatened to shot mouse but we all know why not, the next chapter coming is so devorable, you all will enjoy it and maybe go through the trauma that im going through.

I’m really sorry for not reading it sooner, things kind of went south these past few weeks and I have been sick as well, and finally got well today and the anticipation was killing me to read your work as soon as I get well and it was worth it, OH MY GODDDDDD, so I had my playlist on shuffle and I lost my shit when strange by agust d started playing, the ominous and the music was so perfect and I was drowning in chapter 39 for a very long time, my whole body it was like it was on fire and it still is, I am going insane fuck I DONʼT THINK I CAN DO THIS EDITORS HOW DO YOU DO THIS FUCKING HELLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

seungcheol :(((((( i think the things are becoming more intense from this point forward, and i wish mouse to be safe and sound and happy, and jeonghan dk PLEASE BE SAFE, FOR THE SAKE OF GOD I DONʼT THINK I CAN DO IT ANYMORE.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I think I am going insane, my emotions are truly heightened up and its like a part of me is also burning, you wrote this chapter so so so so well, this is what I signed up and you are devouring it so well, this is what I died to read for, this is intense FUCKKKK I know I am repeating myself but fuck, I really cannot do this anymore I am on my knees begging for next chapter, editors please send your condolences to me because I am sure I will not make it alive without dying some times. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also trist, I missed you so much I was dying to read your writing and I am so happy to read it, I hope your days is going amazing and lots of love to you, you really are my favourite writers and there is also another thing I want to talk about, I will write in the next ask.

— 🌙

I'm going to do the same thing I did last time and reply to all your things in one shot lmao.

Ummm, a lot is wrong with me, I watched Criminal Minds writing BSH so no one should be surprised :D Mouse and Cheol? They might have their moment sooner or later~ Who knows~

It's okay!! My editor and I were going "When will Moon return from war!" as a joke but I hoe you are doing well! chapter 39 was...oof. It took me so long to write because I wanted it to be perfect. I have nothing else to say for myself haha. I'm glad you enjoyed it despite the pain that came with it. My editor, they....deal with me :D On a daily basis :D Sometimes they want to beat me with a baseball bat. Sometimes I write something nice and it smooths things over for a short period of time before I am evil again.

I don't think you really need to worry about Cheol, Joshua, Jeonghan, or DK. I don't plan to hurt anyone else. However, if that is how the dice rolls, so be it. No one is going to full out die, I never planned on that to begin with!

I'm glad you continue to enjoy BSH!!

There is a long running joke between Dooahae, my editor (our editor), and me, that we are constantly throwing mental rocks at FF Jeonghan. Uhhhhh, it somehow bleed into BSH due to our editor.

Editor: "I know this isn't Fallin' Flower Jeonghan but I'm throwing mental rocks at him."

Especially when Jeonghan was being a heathen in the beginning flirting with Mouse.

I sent this to to our writing group chat this morning and he sent this

So know your comment reached the right person!

I hope you know that I wait now for your comments about the chapters. I'm sorry they are so spread apart. I'm in a small bump of writer's block so I'm trying to get more done but I'm more than likely going to get 10000000% more busy due to some job changes and things coming up! I'm trying my best!!

I have you are well and I hope you continue to enjoy BSH

And....

As always....

Nothing Bad Every Happens in BSH

<3

[hanazuma-inactive]

Hello! This is kind of a long request and well- Hopefully you’re fine with doing temporary Body Swap. :>

So basically Bakugou and his Male S/O are pro heroes and when out on a mission, they both get hit by a villain who has a swap quirk. Basically, they just swapped bodies. (Y/n is in Bakugou’s body and Bakugou is in Y/n’s body, they basically just switched minds.) They are told by the other pro heroes that the two should go home and take the day off. Unfortunately, nobody knows how long the quirk effect will stay, but they were convinced it was only temporary. So the two go back to their shared apartment and the day goes on pretty normal- besides the fact that, you know, they’ve swapped bodies. Though later Y/n gets a bit of an idea. What if he were to f*ck Bakugou in this body? The thought seemed kinda strange at first since he would literally be f*cking his own body, but he couldn’t deny that the thought was turning him on. Especially wanting to see Bakugou’s reaction. So, he basically handcuffs Bakugou to prevent him from struggling and.. while in the middle of doing it, something happens.. Shit! Why did it have to happen now?? Y/n panics in his head as he realizes they just swapped bodies again, and he is now at the mercy of Bakugou Katsuki himself..

I actually sent a request kinda similar to this to someone else but it was a while ago and they haven’t responded so they may not have liked it, or it just didn’t arrive. And sorry for choosing Bakugou again, you just may be able to figure out who my favorite character is.. Sorry for my rambling.

If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine. Anyways, have a good day/night, man!

in his shoes (nsfw) bakugou x reader

pronouns: he/him

warnings: body swapping during sex, bottom and top reader+bakugou, selfcest (?), degrading, bratty behavior, claimming and possesive themes, bondage (handcuffs)

a/n: i really like this concept and i will write it don't worry 😎👍 i usually write all of my requests anyways. im also sorry this took literally 5 years.

_____

katsuki bakugou and y/n bakugou. the two of you have been married for 2 years now after you guys started working as heroes. you both went to UA and graduated at the top of the class. neither of you had time for love or romance resulting in neither of you confessing you feelings for each other. gladly, things managed to work out in the end.

"he's on it again, i need the bakugous here right now."

hearing the police force requesting your assistance, you and your husband show up on the case. it turned out to be the villain that the two of you couldn't capture the last time during patrol. 

"HEH?! look y/n, it's this motherfucker again. what's up with this loser, coming back every time it's annoying." 

"play nice now katsuki, let's just go and restrain him and let the police take care of the rest."

the two of you move quickly to match the villain's rapid movements. katsuki flew around using his quirk to attempt to catch him but failed. the villain was surprisingly agile and you guys had a tough time trying to chase him down. 

after around half an hour of chasing you finally cornered the villain on top of a tall building in the middle of the city that was still in construction. the ground was hard to walk on and somewhat unstable but you managed to find your balance. 

"alright, give it up, you've got nowhere to run now. 

"what he said, stop resisting and i won't blow your face off."

the villain's expression turned to fear as you started to close up on him. out of panic, he used his quirk. it was a small beam that didn't hurt at all. however, after a few seconds your body started to heat up, you looked over to katsuki and you could tell he was feeling the same. what was happening?

seeing the two of you struggling, the villain quickly left the scene but he had trouble moving around due to his surroundings. his movements were also somewhat impaired due to fatigue. it was most likely the aftereffect of his quirk which was why he was pretty reluctant in using it. 

the strange feeling in your chest wouldn't go away and your vision started to blur. next thing you know you woke up on top of the same building to see yourself lying next to you. was his quirk duplication? no it couldn't have been. you tried to stand up but felt the weight of some heavy armor dragging you down. you look down to see yourself wearing katsuki's hero costume and his gauntlet. still in awe, you heard a groan in your own voice next to you. 

"shit… wtf happened, y/n where are you where-" 

it didn't take long for your husband to find out what happened. 

the two of you have switched bodies.

you both tried to explain to the police who's who but it only ended in confusion. you went home with your husband after they put the two of you on break for "damaged mental" from the villain because the majority of the police thought you guys were crazy. 

there weren't any cases similar to body switching between heros before so the doctor said there's nothing that can be done other than attempting to wait off the effect. so there you were, in your husband's body, cooking dinner for the man while you saw your own body lazily sitting on the couch with your legs spread open watching the tv. 

life went as normal for the next two days, since you two were both males there weren't any problems whatsoever. however, one day a thought flew into your mind while taking a nap with katsuki. since he was the one who would usually top, now that you're in his body wouldn't it technically mean you get to top? 

physically you would be using your boyfriend's body to fuck yourself. but the thought of the all mighty bakugou katsuki taking his own dick, his bratty attitude, and lastly breaking him and making him fall apart by your touch aroused you in an indescribable way. you knew katsuki wouldn't agree to this due to his prideful personality so you had to take other measures to carry out your plan. 

you and kastuki had all sorts of toys laying around and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine with them. while he wasn't looking you grabbed the vibrator, handcuffs, and blindfolds and put them all on the nightstand. now that everything is in place, all you have to do is wait to catch katsuki off guard tonight when he gets tired.

later tonight, after finishing dinner, katsuki was yet again sitting casually again on the couch watching tv, not giving a single care to the world. 

"heyy katsuki!"

"hm? yah?" 

"come with me for a second? i want to show you something!" you said with a sly grin on your face

katsuki didn't care enough to talk back, neither did he think this could lead to the ill intentions you had with him tonight. following you into the bedroom, you gestured katsuki to sit down on the bed. he obeyed although he began to have a suspicion of what you're about to do. using your new body, you abused katsuki's strong muscle and speed to restrain your own body with the handcuffs you prepare. there was no way for katuski to fight back in this situation because your body was simply not built enough to resist his. 

"h-huh? what are you doing dumbass…if you're joking s-stop it now, it's not funny." 

"oh i am very serious katsuki, now that i'm inside your body. i am going to fuck your brains out. i'm gonna thrust that bratty attitude of yours right out the window." 

hearing you say that, your husband looked away to avert his eyes while you heard a small gulp coming from his throat. you could tell he was nervous and that's exactly what you wanted. katsuki has never bottomed in his life before and he does plan on doing so either. 

finally having katsuki in your grasp, you decided to carry on with your plan. you put on the blindfold for him as he jolted in surprise. katsuki tried to get out of the handcuffs but later found his attempt futile. these were the toys he used for you too and he out of everyone should know it's impossible to get out of them. once your husband stopped moving you gentlt took off his pants, leaving him exposed wearing only your boxers with an erection under it.

"aww katsuki~ already hard and i haven't even done anything yet, maybe you're better off being the bottom hm?" you teased 

"s-shut up you shit head, just get on with it, whatever evil plan you have in store for tonight…"

"no need to rush katsuki" you said as you entered his asshole with 2 of your fingers, loosening him up for the vibrator. 

"we have the entire night."

you heard your own voice whimper as you explored more with your fingers. soon enough it was time to put the other toy in. your fingers left for a bit preparing the vibrator, leaving bakugou panting from the pleasure and clenching his hole around well, nothing. you turned on the vibrator and katsuki immediately noticed the familiar sound of what's in your hands. 

"o-oi y/n, don't put it in here, i-i won't be able to take it." 

"oh i'm sure you can~ you made me do it plenty of times, why can't the big and strong bakugou katsuki do it?"

without mercy, you put in the vibrator quickly and let the show play out. katsuki was moaning and groaning while you stroked your own cock enjoying the view. katuski's cock was bigger than yours and you weren't used to jacking off such a big dick but it was a nice first.

seeing a wet spot forming on katsuki's underwear, you knew he was ready to go. you took off katsuki's underwear to see the precum leaking from it, so much it looked like he was about to cum any second now. next, you took out the vibrator and started to spread some lube on your cock. you positioned yourself on top of the katsuki and teased his pink hole with your huge cock. 

"what do good boys say katsuki~?" 

"tch! i'm not saying it, y-you sadistic fuck."

you slapped katsuki's ass so loud that the neighbors probably could've heard you.

"i'm the one in control right now, you listen to what i say, understood?"

"f-fine, jesus christ! p-please y/n, put it inside me…" 

"that's a good boy…" 

after you fit ¾ of your cock in katsuki was already panting heavily trying to catch his breath. it reached his prostate you leaned down on his chest to bite on his nipples to make him feel even better. his hole clenched on your hole so tight you were barely able to move your cock around. you continued to make thrusts and sped them up each time. 

during your thrusts you suddenly felt the weird feeling when fighting the villain again. both you and bakugou's body started to burn up but it wasn't as painful as it was last time. next thing you know everything was pitch black. you felt a piece of black cloth on top of your eyes and a familiar size inside your ass. it didn't take you long to realize that you and bakugou finally switched back. 

you were glad to be back in your own body but why did it have to happen now?! out of all the times it could've happened this was no doubt the worst possible timing. you just teased the crap out of bakugou and now that he's in control again he can take his revenge right here, right now.

"oh? would you look at that…our bodies switched back…" you couldn't see katsuki say this but you could already tell the evil smile on his face. 

"k-katsuki i'm sorry, i didn't mean to tease you that hard i was just trying to have some fun y-y'know." you desperately tried to explain. 

"too late now baby boy… bad boys get punished for what they did. now… get ready, for the night of your fucking life." 

regret, nothing but regret. bakugou was already an aggressive person when it comes to sex, now that you pissed him off even more you weren't prepared for what he was about to do to you. 

without warning, katsuki pulled back his hips and thrusted into you harder than ever. you took his entire length right away and the full feeling in your ass was too overwhelming for you to handle. you started to blabber nonsense, unable to form words due to the pleasure. 

"c'mon baby… gotta speak up if you want me to understand you." bakugou said knowing damn well you can't talk back. 

incoherent moans and groans escaped from your mouth as you felt dry orgasms again and again from katsuki reaching your prostate. you were on the verge of passing out till you saw your husband's panting just as hard as you. you could tell he was very close as well. you tried your best to stay conscious and cum with your husbands. 

katsuki let out a loud moan as he cummed inside you. you reached your orgasm too cumming all over yourself. katsuki licked up the cum on your stomach as you slipped into sweet unconsciousness. he gave you a warm smile and patted your head as he took you into his arms and fell asleep with you. 

[6okuto]

Rime my beloved <333 idk i really like him in a wattpad yn way n it scares me. Like, yeah he's a piece of shit or whatever but he likes me.... yk? It's the mental illness fantasy aha anyway can i get uhhhhh rime hcs. Fluff, angst, what kind of coffee he likes so i can spit in it yk yhe usual 😙 mmmm my mc has a white streak too i bet they'd go up to rime like "you fucking loser i bet its not even real. You used hair dye didnt u? And if it doesnt exist im sure u found some stupid spell just to copy me <3 bitch" what can i say i love bullying him he's like 6' he'll be fine

— general rime hcs

flips my sign that says felix cc to rime cc. i am here and ready O7

definitely bully him. deserved smh!!

"you think i dyed my hair to copy you? are you an idiot? we didn't even know each other—" "yeah yeah sure. i know you were watching me. you wanna be me so bad, huh? did you think felix would—" "finish that sentence and your blood is going to ruin the carpet." 👁️👁️ hit a nerve there

you don't even need to spit in his drink. literally anything messing with his hot chocolate will be life-threatening. he asks where the marshmallows were and you say you ate them

"you what" "i ate them" "...." "have you heard of the old chubby bunny challenge" "are you fucking—"

he makes a comment about how you're shorter than him and you throw back "yeah well at least i won't die young later—oh wait,"

cue the M3 spitting out their drink, choking, or looking wide-eyed and away from the scene

sorry. not really but sorry i'll bring back my fluff

if anyone else tried to insult or hurt you he's up in arms fr. he's spitting psychologically damaging insults. he is going up, tripping them, then saying "oops. that was a reflex"

if he ever spotted someone following you and making you uncomfortable he would walk up and glare at them

NOOOO MINI FAKE DATING RIME SCENARIO . oh my god

"who the hell are you, asshole?" "who do you think? their boyfriend. so i'd be careful about what you say or do next, asshole."

the person leaves after he grins at them (and probably after seeing him reach for something sharp in his little pouch)

. . .blinks. twirls my hair. pushes it behind my ear. :smirk:

"...so we're dating now?" "you are so irritating." "you have a crush on me" "i'm letting you struggle like a dying fish the next time this happens." (- rime when he lies)

pocky challenge. pocky challenge do the pocky challenge he gets much closer than everyone was expecting just to fluster you. depending on your relationship it will just (d)evolve into kissing

ohh rime getting nightmares about dying or being left alone ohh

he isn't one to crawl into bed and cuddle with you . smth smth terrible at being vulnerable or asking for help

you find him on the couch with a drink in his hand and sit beside him in silence

"didn't take you as someone to miss out on beauty sleep." "can you ever be quiet?" "mm...sometimes. maybe if you wanted to talk about why you're here?"

he won't give you specific details but you get the idea that he had a bad dream

he lets you keep him company while he finishes his drink, and stays there even after he does. it's really his way of letting you know he's ? sort of alright with you ?

he'll leave and tell you you should go back soon "unless you want to look even worse in the morning" (ohh you wanna kiss me so bad)

he makes fun of the others with you . and also other people in general

won't admit it but he likes That era of pop-punk/rock. looped the american beauty/american psycho fob album overnight by accident once probably

if for some miraculous reason he's in an especially good mood, he will let you try his caramel flan. contrary to popular belief and to the detriment of everybody else,, you are the only one who gets to try the flan.

you know when you ask somebody what you should wear and they're like "Whatever you feel the most comfortable in :) you are stunning no matter what :) ily :)"

that is not him. if you want an honest easy answer you go to rime

"should i wear the black one or the red one?" "whatever you'd like mc" "do you want to look like a bitch?" "rime—" "yes." "the red one" My Man 🤝

the kind of person to get more pissed off at an animal dying during a movie than a person . was probably rooting for it out of spite

rime....tattoos? sorry i need. sorry. like on his stomach . patchwork tattoos . sorry

sometimes he'll be doing something mundane and remember a time he was doing it with felix and you can see him frown

heehoo

his sadness and anger are very intertwined . they day he finally has a breakdown he's doing a maniacal laugh while crying out of disbelief and rage

if you hug him after he won't hug back (at first) but he'll press his face into your neck and just . stay there

anyway. he'd make you go on big rollercoasters/rides with him

don't take him to an escape room because he'll make you do all the work until the last minute where he tells you all the solutions that he's been keeping to himself.

spends so much time in CAS (create a sim) . like so much time. he finishes the sims and doesn't even play with them for more than 5 minutes unless he's doing a challenge

no he's so funny. he is the epitome of "my toxic trait is ____" and it's the stupidest shit. you take him to an aquarium and you see a mermaid show and he says "my toxic trait is that i know i could do that" and you're just !@$%?#(! your toxic trait is you commit murder you stupid whore

[thebluesideofmyworld]

A Good Guy - A Solangelo One-Shot

Summary: Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. But when it came to Nico di Angelo, would he ever be good enough, though?

Word count: 3900 words || Rating: Teenage and Up Audiences || Read on AO3

Notes:

1. Based on the song "good guys" by LANY 2. My contribution for @after-everything-pjo-zine project. Check out other fics (each fic is accompanied by great fanart so you just HAVE to check it out) in the zine here.

***

Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. And he would proudly say that it’s because his family raised him to be one. His Mama made sure that he never forgot to say please, sorry and thank you, and his grandma taught him to respect people. Even though Apollo wasn’t around to be an ideal father as Will was growing up in Tennessee, his grandpa showed him how to be a Southern gentleman.

So yeah, he might come across as a young man who with a sassy attitude. But heck, Will knew that he was a good guy. And he’s proud of that.

But here’s the thing. Here’s a thing about being a good guy. Being a good guy might sound like it’s a good thing to do. But being a good guy also sometimes meant that you’re almost as invisible as a wallflower. Because even though you’re good, there were always be better guys. And one thing that Will learned about being a good guy? Good guys never win.

***

“It’s been almost two weeks, you know,” Will said as he kept his eyes at the monthly medical report that he (pretended) to be reading.

“Two weeks since what?” Kayla asked, but didn't bother to pretend that she's actually interested.

“Since Nico went for that quest, remember? Something about Persephone’s parrot or something?” Will said, still trying to keep his eyes at the notes. Because he knew that Kayla might still see the worry in Will’s eyes. (Sometimes it’s almost scary, how his siblings knew him too well).

“Oh? Really? Has it been two weeks yet?”

“Almost,” Will said, decided to leave the detail that it’s actually has been 11 days and since Nico had left the camp early in the morning and now it was almost dinner, it’s been almost twelve freaking days since Nico left the camp for that stupid quest.

“I mean, of course, it might be nothing but well, I thought it was supposed to be a short, simple quest?” Will continued. “Usually if it’s just this small quest, it never took him this long before. Usually it would just be like, three days, five, at the most, and like, a week if he took a detour to impulsively do something unnecessary, but never this long.”

Will lifted his head and turned to look at Kayla, who didn’t seem to share the same worry as Will. Her eyes were still fixed on the glossy pictures of the magazine that she was looking at. A non-committal hum coming from her was the only sign that she was (kind of) listening.

Will tried to focus on the lines of writing in front of him, but the letters were all jumbled and he couldn’t make himself try to read anything. His mind was too busy thinking about different reasons and scenarios of why Nico wasn’t back yet from the quest.

“Do you think I should ask Chiron about it? Probably he’s heard from Nico, y’know. Like, maybe something came up and I don’t know, maybe Chiron knew or maybe even Rachel got a vision or something, or-“

“Or you could have just contacted me, Solace. Pretty sure that it doesn't hurt to try IM me”

Will stood up and spun to face the direction where the voice was coming from. He did it so fast, he got dizzy because of it. It took him two seconds before his eyes could fully focus on Nico di Angelo, who was staring at him. His face looked nonchalant, but his eyes glinted with amusement.

“Uh, hey,” Will greeted, gripping the desk as he suddenly needed to get a hold of himself. “You’re back.”

Nico gave him a single nod, brushing away some strands of hair from covering his eyes. “Yep. I just got back.” He shrugged his shoulders before continuing. “Thought I’d drop by here before I report to Chiron.”

Will tightened his grip on the desk, trying his best to hold himself from closing the distance between him and Nico just to pull Nico into his arms.

“And uh… What brings you here?”

The emotional part of him wished that he was the reason why Nico came straight to the infirmary after the quest. But the rational part of him shushed him. That damned rational part of him told him that hey, it was him who wanted to see Nico, not the other way around.

Nico kept his eyes at Will and there was something in those dark eyes that Will couldn’t really put his fingers on.

“I thought you wanted me to have a check-up every time I got back from a quest?”

Of course.

Will tried to ease the dull pain in his heart by giving Nico a small smile. “Yeah. Of course. Need to make sure that you won’t fade into the shadows again, huh?” Will let out a nervous chuckle. “I mean, I am your doctor, and a doctor only wants the best for his patients.”

This time Nico stayed silent as he nodded. Will gestured to a nearby cot with his chin.

“Now, if you could just sit down over there, please?”

Still saying nothing, Nico strode to the cot and quickly sat there. Will took a deep breath, mentally telling himself to be professional, and let it out in a long exhale. He made his way to where Nico was waiting for him.

The check-up was a regular one. And there was nothing new about how touching Nico made stupid butterflies do some stupid dancing in his stomach. He ached to ask Nico questions about what happened in the quest and why it took so long. He wanted to know whether Nico ever thought of him while he was on the quest the way Will kept on thinking about him while he was away. He wanted to listen to Nico talk to him, with that slight accent that made his voice so melodious, almost like he was singing.

But it would only scare Nico away.

So he kept his eyes at the board where he jotted down the notes about Nico’s vitals.

“So, uhm… This quest was a bit longer than usual, huh?” Will asked, almost proud of himself that his voice sounded normal.

Nico hummed as he put his jacket back on. “Yeah, we had an unexpected encounter with some empousai. Luckily, David is unexpectedly good at fighting.”

At the mention of the name, Will lifted his head up. “David? You mean the new camper? That Athena kid?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah. For someone who never held a sword before, I have to say that I’m impressed.”

A strange, nauseating heat flared inside Will’s stomach. “Really?”

“Yup. In fact, I promised to give him an extra lesson in sword-fighting tomorrow.”

That strange heat swirled even more inside Will. He stretched his lips into a lame attempt to smile at Nico.

“Oh,” Will said. “Nice.”

“In one way, he strangely reminded me of Percy, you know? The way he held his sword.” And Nico continued talking for a while about that stupid new guy. Will listened, humming every now and then just to show Nico that he’s listening.

Half of his mind wished that the harpies would find that David kid to be a nice target for their dinner. The other half of his mind scowled at him for having that kind of evil wish.

“Okay. Everything looks good. Just make sure that you drink enough water,” Will said as he wrote the date and signed his name on the bottom part of the report.

“So I can go now?”

Will nodded. “Yeah, you’re free to go now,” he answered as he walked back to his desk to put the record in the folder.

“And you’re not even offering to walk me back to my Cabin like a good Southern gentleman?”

Will spun on his heel quickly. He stared at Nico with wide eyes, thinking that he might have been hallucinating.

“What?”

Nico snorted and slid down from the cot. “Never mind. I need to report to Chiron first anyway.”

Will blinked, and it took him a full two seconds before he had his voice again.

“Nico-“

But Nico was already one step away from the door. He stopped and looked at Will over his shoulder. The left tip of his lips curled up, just slightly, forming a ghost of a smile. He gave a two-finger salute to Will.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Not waiting for Will to answer him, Nico stepped away. And just like that, he’s out of sight.

Will stared at the open door. There is this hollowness inside his heart that he couldn't explain. Like he just missed a chance.

He always thought that he’s a good guy. Or at least, he’s trying to.

But would he ever be good enough, though?

***

“What are you doing here?”

Lou Ellen’s voice startled Will.

“Me? Uh…” Will scrambled to pick up the book that he just dropped and showed it to Lou, like he was trying to prove something. “I was reading!”

Lou Ellen stared at him with a glint of amusement in her eyes as she gave Will the Look. The ‘don’t-give-me-bullshit’ Look.

“What, am I not allowed to read in peace?” Will said, a bit defensively.

“Hey, it’s cool dude,” Lou said. “In fact, it was nice to see you somewhere else aside from the infirmary,” she added.

Will relaxed a bit, going back to lean his back on the tree.

“I can see why you choose this spot. It’s much quieter than the infirmary on your busy days,” Lou said.

Will hummed.  His eyes flickered to the far left, to the clearing a few yards away, just for a split second before he opened his book.

“And the view from here is also… decent.”

Lou Ellen’s tone made Will quickly look up again at the daughter of Hecate. She’s now grinning at him, like she just figured something out.

“How long have you been spying on those two?” Lou asked, gesturing with her chin to two demigods in the clearing who seemed to just finished sparring.

Will gaped at her. He blinked and quickly shook his head. “What? No! I’ve told you, I was reading here!”

But Lou Ellen didn’t seem to care about Will’s reaction as she waved at the demigods in the clearing.

“Hey, Nico! David!”

Will’s eyes widened in horror this time as he turned his head around, only to see that Nico and the new Athena kid walked towards them.

“Lou!” he hissed in annoyance.

Lou Ellen just gave him a teasing smirk. “What?”

Will groaned and quickly stood up, his book abandoned on the grass as he unconsciously ran a hand over his wild locks.

“Hey,” Nico greeted. “What’s up?”

Nothing’s up aside from his heartbeat, Will would like to answer. But of course, he kept it to himself as he tried his best to school his face into a relaxed, nonchalant, I’m-just-chilling-here expression.

“Nothing much,” Lou Ellen shrugged her shoulders. “You two are sparring together here? Why? Is the arena too mainstream for you?”

The new Athena kid gave a half-smile as he brushed off some hair from covering his eyes. “It was my request, actually,” he said. “I just want to have a...” he waved his right in a vague circular motion, like trying to find the exact word to say. “A more… realistic view when fighting a monster?”

That didn’t really make sense to Will. But it seemed to be an acceptable reason for Lou Ellen as she nodded at him.

“And has Nico been a good teacher for you?” Lou Ellen asked.

Will didn’t miss the way Lou gave him a quick glance.

David’s half-smile turned into a full one. “He is!” He turned his head to Nico and smiled at him, like he was pleased at Nico. “Thanks for teaching me, Nico. You are very good at sword-fighting.”

Nico returned David’s smile with one of his small smiles. A smile that could have filled Will’s chest with warm air. But since he’s not at the receiving end of that smile, it turned Will’s chest into lead instead.

“Anytime. It was a pleasure.”

“You will teach me more, yes? And ah… We also need to talk more. About football.”

This was the first time for Will to really listen to David talking, and he couldn’t help but notice how David’s voice had quite an accent. Especially when he pronounced football, the way he stretched some syllables.

Nico’s face lit up. “Yeah! We should! I know that Cecil played football! Right?” His eyes darted from Will to Lou Ellen, like asking for confirmation.

“Cecil? He does. I can take you to talk to him. Come on,” Lou Ellen quickly pulled the sleeve of David’s shirt and led him away from the other two demigods.

Will watched the backs of Lou Ellen and David who were walking away from them. He could feel nervousness starting to creep in on him as their voices slowly faded away, as he realized that he’s now alone with Nico.

Not that he hated to be with Nico. It’s just… this wasn’t his plan. He wasn’t prepared. And Will hated it when things didn’t go as he planned. He hated it when he was unprepared.

“David played football,” Nico said just when David and Lou Ellen disappeared from their sight.

Will angled his neck to look at Nico. “And when you said football, did you mean soccer?”

“I mean football,” Nico answered, turning on his heels a little so now he was facing Will. “The real football.”

Will snorted and slid down to sit on the grass. “They’re the same,” he said, leaning his back on the tree.

Nico followed Will, sitting on the grass. “It will always be football for me,” he said. There was a melancholic tone lacing his voice. And it made Will wonder, maybe it’s something that Nico used to play. In the streets in Venice, when he was just a kid who had no idea that Greek gods and goddesses were real.

“We, David and I, we were talking about playing here. I mean, it would be great, you know? David said he played midfield. I’m usually,” Nico paused, but quickly continued. “I mean, I used to play as a striker. If we can connect well, that would be really cool.”

Will closed his eyes while his stomach churned with a strange, unpleasant feeling. So, not only was this David kid good in sword-fighting, he’s good in soccer too?

“Do you play too? I mean, you can be the goal keeper. I guess you would be great. I mean, you’re tall and it would be a great asset for a goalkeeper.”

Will huffed. Stuck between the goalposts while watching Nico and David scoring goals? Yeah. No, thank you.

“We’ll see about that,” Will said, still with his eyes closed.

For a while, none of them said anything. Will opened his eyes when he heard Nico sighed. He turned his head, watching Nico stand up. Nico brushed his pants, and gave Will a small smile.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Will wondered why that smile looked a bit strained, but returned it anyway. “Yeah. I’ll see you around.”

He watched as Nico walked away.

Someone would be a good guy for Nico, he thought. And even though Will was a good guy, maybe he just wasn’t good enough. So of course, someone would be a good guy for Nico. Someone else. Not Will.

***

Will didn’t even know why he was here, standing awkwardly near the table where the food and drinks were.

Oh, yes. Because Cecil and Lou Ellen practically dragged him here, to this stupid Halloween party organized by the Aphrodite Cabin.

It’s not that Will disliked Halloween. And it wasn’t like he hated Halloween parties either. What he didn’t like, was seeing Nico talking with David at the other corner of the room. Just looking at the sight made a strange, nauseating fire flame inside of him.

“Pining over di Angelo again?” Lou Ellen nudged him on his shoulder.

“Yeah. How long are you going to act like this Will? Playing it cool while we all know how you wish you’re the one talking to di Angelo instead of David?” Cecil joined Lou Ellen in interrogating Will.

Will only rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” he mumbled, and took another sip of Coke from his cup. He tried to watch the campers who were dancing in the middle of the floor. Some kids from the Hermes cabin somehow got a hold of speakers. And of course, with a little help from the Hephaestus kids, the party had a cool sound system that was now playing pop music.

Lou Ellen sighed. Will stole another glance at where Nico was standing. David was leaning a little to whisper something at Nico. The proximity between those two made it a little bit harder for Will to breathe. He wondered what it was that David was telling Nico. But then Nico turned his head to Will. And no matter how cliché it might sound, Will’s heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. Will quickly looked down to the floor.

Next to him, Lou Ellen clicked her tongue.

“You know what? I can’t take this anymore. It’s been MONTHS. This has got to end tonight,” she said. Ignoring Will’s protest, she grabbed Will’s wrist and pulled him along with her, walking towards Nico and David.

A few seconds later, Will was standing with a flustered face in front of Nico and David.

“Hey, Nico, David! You guys enjoying the party?”

David gave that half-smile again. “Ah, yes. The party is nice.” He angled his neck just a bit so now he was looking right at Will. The half-smile subtly transformed into a knowing smirk. “And you? You… You are the healer, yes? Will?”

Will forced himself to smile politely at David. “Yeah. That’s me.”

David gave a single nod. “Nico talked a lot about you. A lot of good things.”

Will blinked. His eyes darted to Nico, but the raven-haired boy looked away from him. Still, his cheeks were a dark shade of red.

“Is that Cecil over there? I think I want to talk to him,” David suddenly said as he pointed at Cecil with his chin. “Lou Ellen? Come with me?”

Lou Ellen grinned as she nodded and made a 90-degree turn on her heels. “Yeah, come on, David. Let's leave these two idiots.”

And just like that, they left Will again, standing awkwardly less than two feet away from Nico.

“Uh… I didn’t expect to see you here,” Will said.

Nico turned his head at Will, an eyebrow slightly raised up. “Oh? I thought you were the one saying that I need to work on my social skill.”

Will gave Nico a small smile. “Yeah. So. Good to see you here, then. I mean, for your social skills and all.”

Nico stared at Will. And there was just something behind those dark eyes. Something that Will couldn’t put into words. Something that made him unable to look away.

“Aren’t you going to ask me to dance, Solace?”

The question got Will off-guard. Of all the questions in the world, it’s probably the most unexpected one.

“Huh?”

Nico held his eyes at Will’s for another second, but then he looked away. “Never mind,” he said, half-mumbling. His cheeks blushed again into dark cherry color.

“But… do you want to, though?”

Nico’s head turned back to Will. “Want to do what?”

“Dance? Do you…want to?”

Nico bit his lower lip and he looked down for a second. When he looked up back at Will, his charcoal eyes were soft.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On who’s asking me to.”

Will’s heart started to jump around in his chest.

“What if it’s me asking you?”

The eyes that were staring back at him were now smiling.

“Then I guess, it depends on the song, then.”

Will’s heart was probably doing some crazy somersaults right now, but his lips curled up without him even thinking about it.

“Well, it’s my favorite song that they’re playing right now. I hope it suits you?” he asked, carefully offering his hand.

Nico’s smile was as soft as the look in his eyes. And the moment their fingertips touched, Will’s heart soared high and suddenly his chest was filled with warm, light air.

As Will led Nico to the floor, he thought about how long he has been wanting to do this, to hold Nico’s hand in his.

They swayed along with the music. Nico’s left hand felt perfect in his right hand. Will’s left hand rested on Nico’s hip and Will couldn’t care less about the other people dancing around them.

“Your dancing is better than your singing,” Nico said, a playful smile on his lips.

Will chuckled. “My grandma said a real Southern gentleman must know how to dance. And I remember my Mama dancing with me when I was a kid.”

“Your Mam raised you well, I have to say.”

Will hummed. “I’m a good mama’s boy, I can promise you that.”

“I can see that, Will. Everyone can see that.”

“See what?”

“That you’re a good guy.”

This time Will held his eyes at Nico. “I try to be,” he said. “But… Would I ever be good enough for you?”

Nico huffed. “And you said I was the dense one.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Nico stopped, but his feet kept on moving. He sighed. “Gods, do I really have to spell it out to you?” He asked, sounding exasperated as he looked away from Will.

Hope bloomed inside of Will and he grinned and oh, how he wanted to shout and laugh. He took his hand off Nico’s hip so he could gently cup Nico’s cheek, guiding him to face him back.

“Do you mean you like me?” Will asked.

“Well, do you like me?”

Will chuckled and he could feel a stupid smile creeping in. “Why do you even have to ask?”

Nico shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Because you’re nice to me but you’re also nice to everyone? Because you don’t seem to care even if I talk about someone else? Because you…” Nico stopped again and shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe because I just…don’t know?”

Will squeezed Nico’s hand just a bit tighter. “I was just… I was just afraid that I’m not good enough for you.”

Nico rolled his eyes. But his lips twitched, like he tried to hold back a smile.

“You’re a good guy, Will. You’re a good guy to everyone. But sometimes I hope that you can be my good guy.”

It’s like a thousand birds were singing inside of Will now as he felt like he was floating in this bubble of happiness.

“Then I’ll be yours, Death Boy.”

Will wrapped his arms around Nico, and pulled him into his embrace.

“I’ll be your good guy, then. I’ll be your everything.”

Nico pulled himself a little away from Will. He looked up at Will and the light in his eyes was like the most beautiful star in a dark night.

“Everything?”

“Everything. Anything you need.”

***

Additional Author's Notes: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :). Reblogs, replies or any other feedbacks are much appreciated. Also please don't forget to check out the zine!!!

[4lexturn3rs]

Hot In Here - Alex Turner *smut*

It was a hot day in London, which was a rarity, so of course y/n had no clothes to dress for this weather. Her best friend Alex was coming over today to help her rearrange her apartment. She had been living there for a year now and needed a change.

The doorbell rang and y/n sprinted up to let her best friend into the loft. As she opened the door, her knees locked, and she felt her hands clam up. Alex's quiff had fallen in front of his face and had deflated due to the incessant heat. "Y/NNNN!!" Alex engulfed her in his enormous arms and she tried not to faint, maybe from heat, or maybe from the overwhelming random thoughts she was suddenly having about her best friend.

He unhooked his arms from her back, and she felt empty again. "How've you been, love" he walked into her apartment sliding off his shoes, having always felt at home in her presence. "Yeah, yeah, I've been alright, fucking heat's killing me slowly" she walked over to him and sat down on the counter next to him where he was standing sipping a cool glass of water. He began going on about his life and things that happened to him in the week, but y/n was spaced out on his fingers wrapped around the cool glass with the condensation dripping onto his hands. He finished talking and wiped the water onto his jeans. "Am I right or am I fucking right y/n/n" damn I should've listened, she thought to herself. "Fuckin...yeah Al" he nodded and relief washed over her. She had gotten away with her daydreaming.

"By the way, I meant to ask you, what's so interesting about my hands." Shit "how do you mean, you're so random" just play it cool y/n, you got this. "Well, you seem to be more concerned with me pinky ring than what I was really talking about, considering I just said 'your fashion designs are shit and you should give up immediately' which, by the way I don't really think" she had not passed as easily as she thought, what the hell kind of excuse did she have planned.

"I was just... spacing out, I'm sorry about that" his hand raised slightly to caress her cheek and hold her face closer to his. "Really... I find that one hard to believe love" confusion and lust coursed through her veins as she struggled to keep her feelings hidden from his deep stare. "What were you thinking about, huh? Imagining my hand running up your thigh like this' ' as he looked through her filthy thoughts and picked out ones to share, he began to bring these thoughts to life, as if they were his own memories.

"Maybe...my cold ring around your small neck, so small love, so small compared to me...always will be" she nodded her head along with him, completely mentally checked out only focusing on his hand and what it would unpredictably do next. Suddenly, his knees dropped to the floor, and he began to press sloppy wet kisses all over her thighs, just knowing how much she longed for him.

"Such a dirty girl, having these thoughts for me even though it could ruin our friendship, just can't help yourself, can you?" her head was in the clouds now and all she managed out was a simple sigh. He stopped. "What was that dolly, can't hear you" "no Alex, I can't help it, im sorry" she barely squeaked out "its Alexander to you now y/n" he place his index finger on the waistband of her panties and looked up at her through batting long lashes. "Okay?" he whispered. "Okay." she breathed back, feeling safer now that he had asked.

He slid her panties down, exposing everything to him. He bunched up her dress to her waist and went down on her. She pulled her hand over her mouth as to not moan too noisily, knowing how thin her walls are. Alex stopped and came up. He pulled her hands away from her mouth "I want to hear you, darling," and with that he disappeared under the table again. She was hesitant at first, but in no time, she was screaming his name. "Alexander, I'm gonna..." "I know baby, I know, let the whole city hear ye love, hear ye screaming me name" the knot in her stomach began to loosen as her moans seemed to cut through the heat and bring release and peace to her body. "Fuck, Alex, how did you do that" she breathed out trying to steady her voice. "Loads of practice," he said nonchalantly "now, let's get to moving"

(a/n) omg, I'm going to hell, let me know if you want more smut or any imagines you want, I'm down to write anything!

[dangeles]

also what do you think of the other new characters? i love them all a lot, i ADORE sadie and that whole speech she gave adam when he was being sooo whiny 2 eps ago. "okay first of all, im straight-" hsgjkgfhj amazing, shes amazing

also i really love oliver and his dynamic with mark? love what those two have going on. mark hiding the damien thing. oliver being a mess about the am thing. theyre great <3

Lengthy The College Tapes blabber incoming!

(spoiler warning, I think?)

[takes deep breath]

I love all the new characters!!!!!!!!!!!

They're all so different and unique, you can tell from their voices and cadence what they are like, and I have this mental image of all of them and I wanna sketch the whole squad so bad!! Sometime soon definitely 🤠 im working on Caleb's design (he's my favourite for obvious reasons, *cough* Briggon Snow *cough*.)

Frankie and Caitlyn???? Adorable and feisty!!! Ben is so sweet, I wanna protect them with my life!!

Adam popping off on his radio show and then sleuthing by himself but freaking out over crows? I love him!!!!!

Right off the bat from the first episode, I felt like Sadie is the singular operative braincell in the whole Yale/BU squad; she's so solid and cool and chill, and wow, I love her! She's really grounded as a person and everytime someone gets all flighty or obtuse, she really puts them in their place. Though, I gotta be honest, at first I was like 'ok but like she's TOO cool, should I be sus????' there have been some micro instances where I was like 'huh okay she sounds a bit... hesitant here?' but that's just me being extra cautious because, you know, after what happened with Helen in The AM Archives?? Good god, you can't be too careful :(

(RIP Owen, you are missed, you poor sweet man.)

Mark and Oliver are downright my favourite duo after Caleb and Adam. I highkey want them to be a Thing™. Please be a Thing™.

Oliver is a RIOT; I love him, he's so funny and it's like he's not even trying?? He's just Oliver and I split my sides laughing at how he navigates conversations with his short attention span. I'm so curious to know about his backstory in detail, trauma and all. I love how he skirts around the horrors he'd faced in Tier5 and puts up a brave nonchalant front (which Mark sees through like it's made of gossamer lmao)

Mark was always a favourite of mine since the Bright Sessions; he's so fun and you know he's a good looking dude, he just radiates it. And the fact he uses humour as a coping mechanism for his trauma?? Poor baby. He's had a lot of baggage and I want to know more about his absurd time with Damien (that was very interesting for both those characters.) Mark is a very compelling character and I could listen to him monologue to himself for hours.

Mark and Oliver, and their dynamic??? Our Comedic Tier5 Trauma Boys??? Oh man, I could listen to a 100 episode spinoff series of just them bickering back and forth domestically, getting into all sorts of Shippen-orchestrated shenanigans, and I'd be as happy as a clam!! Both voice actors are absolute GEMS; they bounce off each other so well, its so entertaining to listen to. It's never a dull moment with them, be it the sassy banter or when they discuss their crippling insecurities.

Apart from all that, can we agree that Oliver and Caleb is the funniest ''shut up! no you shut up!' pair ever???? I was wheezing everytime they put their heads together to figure out that godforsaken Book and ended up pissing each other off every time, introspective revelations aside.

In conclusion, I just love all of them, Your Honour.

This is one of those podcasts I listened to repeatedly, and will be listening to again and again and again and again and again and aga-