#like im just saying the transition from being one of two competent people on my high school's yearbook staff in terms of design

[finchers-ipad]

Okay so i watched ‘The Killer’ for a second time and think my brain has stopped melting out of my ears enough to form some coherent thoughts about it (spoiler free for the most part but if i do put one i’ll put a warning before that :D)

My favourite scenes:

Firstly the opening like 30mins which i’m counting as a scenes and if not it’s my favourite sequence. I love that we are introduced to this move called ‘The Killer’ which it’s opening titles show different ways of killing people etc so as an audience we expect to be thrust into a violent environment. But Fincher subverts those expectations by having us watch a guy wait around for 30mins.

(SPOILER) I LOVEEE the use of handheld in this movie and this scene/sequence has my favourite use of it in the film. When The Killer messes up his job, the camera immediately switches from a steady cam to handheld, to me this represents how unstable and panicked he feels in the moment. He has to go against his mantra and improvise and the handheld really heightens the tension.

Again, i know this happens throughout the film but the SOUND DESIGN IS SO INCREDIBLE OMG. I love how it is used to align us with Fassbenders charecter (eg if we are seeing from his POV we hear ‘How soon is Now?��� at full volume, however if we see a shot of him we hear the muffled sounds of his headphones playing the song). I also love the song choice for this scene. The sound design is like it’s own character in this film and is up there with ‘The Social Network’ in terms of its use in Fincher’s films.

I also love how this whole scene is basically an homage to Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’, i just love that film. (also this isn’t really related but Fincher also added a little homage to ‘Rear Window’ in ‘Panic Room’ where Andrew Kevin walker makes a cameo)

Another one of my favourite scenes is the fight scene in Florida (KIND OF SPOILER):

THIS FIGHT SCENE IS SO FUCKING EPIC!! the low light which allows things like them being illuminated by the tv and bathroom light look so cool, the controlled chaotic carmera movement, the use of props and set in the fight

yeah i honestly cant pinpoint necessarily what i love about this scene but it’s just so cool to watch!

Random thoughts/opinions:

Tilda Swinton competes with Fassbender for my favourite performance in this film. The monologue about the hunter and the bear she gives is so captivating and she has me hanging on her every word. Also i don’t know if this monologue is in the novel because i haven’t read it but either way, it is the most Andrew Kevin Walker dialogue in the film and reminds me a lot of ‘Se7en’

I think this film contains the most handheld shots in all of Fincher’s filmography

The films this is most similar too is ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ and ‘Gone Girl’ but kind of if you replaced Amy and Lisbeth with a guy who listens to The Smiths.

Ah i really didn’t like the opening credits they SCREAMED Netflix original, like what was with those Adobe-Premiere-Pro-ass transitions 💀. but honestly nothing can top ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’s opening credits so i shouldn’t get my hopes up lmao.

If i were to rank this film in Fincher’s filmography i think it would be pretty low-ish. That’s not to say this is a bad or even average film in any shape or form i just like a lot of his other films more than this one :) i am going to be really awkward with my rating and give it a 6.75/10 but i do feel like i need to watch it again lmao.

i am SO SO SO happy that i got to watch this in the cinema. it was over two weeks ago now and im still thrilled.

Ty for reading rambles! If anyone has any thoughts about ‘The Killer’ please share them with me!! :D

[daddyd0nt]

Do you not wish for a world where women don't have to fear, I suppose we'll say "males", in the same locker room? Do you not believe feminism can create that world? And if you do, but believe trans women are still too tainted by male socialization growing up, how should it begin?

I do support certain spaces being segregated by birth sex. AFAB people of all genders deserve a safe penis-free space when it comes to things like bathrooms and prisons and hospitals and contact sports and women's shelters. I believe that feminism is our best chance for pushing back against a world without sex-based protections. I also believe Afab people should be made a protected group under hate crime laws and that femicide, rape, domestic battery, etc should be recognized as the hate crimes that they are.

I don't think trans women are "tainted" by male socialization, or that they experience gendered socialization like somebody without dysphoria would, especially if they transition young or have childhood dysphoria and live their lives with the world feeling like an ill-fitting suit. I think that is a unique experience from how cis men are socialized and internalize that socialization. My trans women friends are completely different from my cis male friends and the ones I know are some of the most harmless people I ever met who just decided they were sick of the machismo bullshit and wanted to be soft and enjoy cute things and find make up and fashion fun and just feel more confident in their skin with a skirt and lipstick and god bless them, its no skin off my ass and it makes the mortifying ordeal of being perceived a little softer Im not going to begrudge them that.

I also knew all my MtF friends back before they transitioned and even as males they were trusted. My closest MtF friend who is going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding literally kicked down a door and saved me mid-rape from a neighborhood boy who was taking liberties with my passed-out body. She's also schizoaffective and has gone through periods of believing she was a prophet before when we were teens, so "refer to me as a woman" feels downright reasonable next to past requests like "refer to me as god/the voice of god". I also have plenty of FtM friends, Im going to have at least one "bridesman" at my wedding.

I love trans people, I love gender non conformity, I want trans people to live their lives with safety and dignity and for them to be accommodated with spaces tailored to their needs. I think the best solution is to separate spaces by birth sex instead of gender (two beige bathrooms, one says "urinals" and one says "Sanitary Product Disposal") and by creating restrooms/locker rooms/sports leagues specifically to accommodate trans people FOR EVERYBODY'S SAFETY (it is not fair or safe to expect people on HRT especially trans women with bone density loss from artificial estrogen to participate in contact sports with people who have cis bodies, nor is it fair to have trans men on T competing against cis women when T is considered a performance enhancing supplement).

I believe that through comradery, empathy, and mutual understanding we can find that there is more than enough room in the world for all kinds, we just need to be respectful of each other. As for how it should begin, it has already begun, but I think a big step that needs to be taken is recognizing gender dysphoria as a mental illness and researching treatment options other than cosmetic transition, and making more spaces with trans inclusion in mind. But im much more worried for the trans man who has to change his tampon in the dangerous men's room than I am about the trans woman who needs to take a piss in the stall next to me and minds her own business and washes her hands when she is finished.

[communisms-pr-manager]

Hi. I absolutely have to respond to this because I find your standpoint fascinating.

the issue is still there, because forcing trans athletes to compete with their sex is essentially banning them for sport if they wish to medically transition. goodbye chances of making it into competitive mens sport if youre actively suppressing testosterone as a trans woman. cool? cool.

No one is forcing anyone to do sport. Being successful at sport is not a human right. You can’t just go into a category where you can easily win just because you can’t compete in your own category. By banning 15-year olds from the 12-year old category, you do not ban them from sport. To have a category, it is understood and obvious that you need to exclude those who don’t meet the criteria of the category. What do you have against categories? I think they are democratising.

Do trans people have no responsibility for their own decisions, at all? If you are a successful male athlete, and then decide to medically supress your testosterone levels, meaning you won’t be as successful in sport anymore, why on earth should that entitle you to compete and win in the female category instead? If a male is not successful in the men’s category he should be granted access to the female category, to win there instead? That is NOT what the female category is there for.

Anyone who makes the personal choice to medically transition has to face a lot of decisions and probably give up lots of things. Males who lower their testosterone won’t be competitive in the male category anymore. Females who start taking testosterone won’t be allowed to compete in the female category anymore. They can get a special permission to compete in the men’s category despite taking testosterone, but they don’t threaten the best men. Trust me, if they did, they would not be allowed to compete while on testosterone. These are individual choices. It’s not everybody elses responsibility. You have to think of potential consequences beforehand.

goodbye chances of making it into competitive mens sport if youre actively suppressing testosterone as a trans woman. cool? cool.

Yes, cool. Your opinion on this is truly baffling. What about ”goodbye chances of making it into competitive women’s sport if you’re a biological female, with lower testosterone than your competition”.

ONE male might not make it into competitive men’s sport, through an active choice of his own, and you are outraged? But ALL women should be forced to accept chronically unfair sporting events just so that a few males can boost their egos by beating women at sport. That is a crazy take. Why do you feel you have to take a special stand for men like this? Men who want to intrude on a female space? They don’t need it and don’t deserve your help. Men already have every opportunity in sport. Some men don’t succeed at becoming world class athletes, that’s ok. That doesn’t mean they should compete against women. They can just get a normal job instead, and you don’t need to feel sorry for them.

thank you for coming to my sideblog btw, appreciate taking this away from main. i dont know how to tell you that everyone should be given an equal opportunity at competing in sports.

'What about ”goodbye chances of making it into competitive women’s sport if you’re a biological female, with lower testosterone than your competition”' - how many trans people do you think exist in sports??? there is no goodbye chances if there is one or two trans women competing in a single sport. you argue this but then turn around and say im being ridiculous for being outraged over the treatment of a few trans people.

trans people should not have to choose between a sport they love and make a living off of and transitioning to better their mental health. that's it, thats the argument. your argument reeks of transphobia and inflammatory language and a fundamental misunderstanding of trans women's intentions for competing with other women, instead you project this idea of trans women being deceptive villains looking to take opportunities away from cis women for a medal. your standpoint comes from a place of believing that trans women are not women, and until you understand and accept that trans women are women and not men as you repeatedly claim this argument is pointless. it's also evident that you believe that every man is inherently stronger than every woman when that is just not the case and honestly? sexist. biological diversity in athletes is wide and varied and also overlaps significantly, in fact a majority of male athletes even have lower than average testosterone closely lining up with female athletes with higher than average testosterone- i can link the studies if you so wish. i truly have no words anymore and until you can separate your irrational anger towards trans women from your argument i don't have anything more to say.

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here! / Part 17 Here! / Part 18 Here! / Part 19 Here! < This is Part 20!>

Donate to Move to Higher Ground HERE!

A/N: There’s not going to be an update on Wednesday (it’s the day after my birthday and I’m going to go cry at the space station) lol. The next two parts will be like - alternative timeline/pov/intermission posts. Which will just be to add some depth to the story I guess. Stay safe! See you next Saturday!

* “Get out”

* You can’t have been parked more than five minutes before Jessica prys the driver side door open from the outside

* You’re hunched over the binder in your lap, hurriedly scrawling answers onto the worksheet

* Edward just sighs, moving to get out of the car

* “Wait-“

* You stop him by placing your hand on his shoulder

* Edward grins, so these are boyfriend privileges huh?

* You’re going to pick him over your human friends. Well he would be lying-

* “Give me the answer to the last question before you go.”

* Edward deflates

* Guess somethings don’t change.

* “It’s sin(x) equals 18”

* You nod, quickly writing down the answer

* “Thanks Edward.” You mumble learning over to press a chaste kiss to his cheek

* “Now get out”

* He stands outside the jeep a goofy grin on his face, a hand touching the place your lips were on his cheek

* Well at least some things change

* You don’t miss Jessica’s gaze on you as you put your binder into your backpack

* “So... what do you want to talk about Jess?”

* You don’t miss the incredulous look she gives you

* “So about Edward then”

* “Yeah, no duh”

* You let out a deep sigh

* “Where do you want me to start?”

* How far back does this story even go?

* Probably when you saw him that first time in Denali

* His angular face, and those deep amber eyes

* And those butterflies in your stomach

* “You can start with what happened after you guys left the party!”

* So you’re going to have to fast forward a bit

* “Well he was mad because-you know two against one- if it was anyone else it would have been a traumatic experience waiting to happen”

* She nods, thinking you’re talking about you

* You’re talking about something transitive happening to those boys

* For those boys if they tried something with you that is

* You were pretty far gone, you might have actually killed them if Edward hadn’t come to get you

* Not out of anger, just negligence

* At the very best they might have cried if you weren’t able to control your emotions

* “And then after - we were arguing- and then it was just happening”

* “You guys had s*x?”

* You sputter

* “Geez no! We were kissing, get your mind out of the gutter Jess.”

* “Well I don’t know (Y/N/N), he’s been pinning after you since freshman year a kiss just seems anticlimactic all things considered ”

* Besides you guys have this vibe around you-

* Like a sort of intimacy or something-

* You’ve both always had a sort of closeness.

* Like it was the two of you in one world, and then everyone else in another

* But now there’s a physical closeness to you both

* The kind of vibe people who are sleeping together usually give off.

* She saw it when you were together at the aquarium

* “Nah that’s impossible” you let out a long sigh

* “I’m pretty sure he wants to wait until marriage”

* Jessica sputters at that

* “M-marriage? Holy crap (Y/N)-“

* You nod, it’s such an antiquated notion.

* Especially considering you’re both technically dead

* Honestly, what could be more awkward than a couple of virgins fumbling around in the dark for a few hours on their wedding night?

* “He wants to marry you?!?”

* Oh

* Yeah that would be the normal thing to be concerned about

* “I’m not really sure” you scratch the back of your head

* “You’re my soul mate”

* He had said it so causally, like he was talking about gravity or the weather

* Like it was a universal fact

* The words make your stomach flutter

* Ugh you don’t have time to think about this

* “Well that’s what happened, and now Carlisle is always crying in the house and Esme is already planning weddings. Now come on we’re going to be late for class”

* You get out of the car before Jess can get a word in edgewise

* So this is really happening

* She sighs

* Well she’s be lying if she said she didn’t see this coming

* She knows there’s a lot of people competing for your affection

* Hell even Conner dropped his f*ck boy tendencies for you

* But Edward is the only one who looks at you, and only you

* Jessica’s guilty of it too, she’ll admit that

* You’re her first choice, don’t get her wrong, but if you don’t return her affections

* Well that’s fine, she’ll just date Mike, or Conner, or Bella or whoever

* It’s the same for the rest of them

* Conner will be bummed when he finds out-

* Mostly because he can’t believe he dropped his other side pieces

* But he’ll get over it

* Just like Mike did

* But Edward-

* There’s no one other than you for him

* She see’s it in the way he looks at you.

* If it’s not you, it’s just not any good

* So he’ll wait, maybe even his entire life, until you’re ready to love him back

* A small smile twitches on her face

* She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t happy for you

* “I wonder if anyone will ever love me like that” she mumbles to herself, right before flinching in surprise when you swing the passenger door open

* “Oh my god you scared me!”

* “I scared you?!? Jess this is my car, how am I supposed to lock it if you’re sitting inside?”

* “Oh right”

* You make it to class by the skin of your teeth, taking you seat between Edward and Alice in English

* “So what did you two talk about?” Edward whispers with a small smile while the teacher calls roll

* You roll your eyes

* “Like you don’t know”

* He has a sly smile on his face and you’re not sure why

* Alice starts obviously stifling laughter beside you

* Rude but okay

* Edward leans close to you, so close his lips are only a centimeter away from your ear

* Does he mind?

* Maybe he’s immune to sexual feelings, but being that close is doing things to you

* “I’m actually not waiting for marriage by the way”

* You can practically feel the grin on his face

* You look up to him, your golden eyes meeting his

* You were right he is smiling

* His smile takes a mischievous turn, and you feel his hand slide onto your thigh and give a teasing squeeze

* “Didn’t want you to have any misconceptions” he says with the same sly grin as he removes his hand from your leg and leans back in his chair

* Ah

* So that’s why Alice was laughing

* (Y/N). Exe is broken

Bonus:

* “Hey”

* Bella looks up to see the Jessica standing by her locker as she pulls her books out

* “Oh hey, did you get to talk to them?”

* “Um yeah, it’s about what we were thinking.”

* Bella nods, if she’s sad she’s not showing it.

* “It’s good that they’re together. He loves them a lot, I’m sure Edward will treat them right”

* Jessica nods, Edward does love you a lot.

* She watches Bella try to cram books into her bag

* She is kinda pretty now that she looks at her, in that angular face- snow white kinda way

* She’s no (Y/N)

* And she’s no Mike

* “Hey did you finish the trig homework? I was having tr-“

* But maybe-

* “Hey, Angela and I are going dress shopping in port a, do you want to come with?”

* Maybe they can be friends

* They both liked the same person, so they’ve already got something in common

* Bella looks at the blonde

* To be honest, she’s been holding everyone here at a distance

* In a few years she won’t see any of these people ever again, there’s no need to get attached

* Not after what happened in Arizona

* But still-

* “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

* Guess she never learns

Tags:  @moonlights27​ @thebluetint​ @the100thtwilight​ @awesomebooklover17​ @oneofthepotterheads​ @smileygirl08​ @imdoingathingmom​ @iconicgguk​ @yrawn​ @alyciaswhore​ @little-horror-show​ @wicked-watering-can​ @lazydreamers​ @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​​ @hotmessgoodness​ @jaimewho​ @corabmarie​ @what-am-i-doing10​ @alluring-venus​ @imdoingathingmom @anotheryooniverse​ @im-tired-not-sleepy​ @emmettcullenisahimbo​ @my-super-musical-life​ @smolvampiregirl​ @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream​ @mihikaahujaaa @werewolflover3252​ @teenagezombiekryptonite @shynz​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @monkeyluver4546 @wonhomarshmallow​ @bwbatta @bubblyabs​ @thatwaspossesion​

[kdramalahhh]

Review: 18 Again [An unfeigned tale of a selfless father]

No. of episodes: 16

Personal Rating: 9.5/10

I personally had the busiest time of my life trying to juggle law school with other things and when I had a short break last week, I planned to watch a drama. I intentionally waited until 18 Again to be done airing and my decision was absolutely right because if I were to watch the drama on going I’d suffer from just waiting for each episode to be aired and will most probably be more attached to the drama than I do right now. 

Before I lay down my reasons why this drama is so good that i gave it nine and a half point, I want to tell how I feel right now post-18 Again (this is surely a phase). So, I managed to finish watching the drama in 3-4 days and after I closed the window of the last episode, I felt content but empty at the same time. Contented because the ending was so good and satisfying but at the same time the emptiness kicked in when I realised that I can no longer see these beautiful characters anymore. After the last episode, every time I listen to the OSTs, saw any clips especially the heartfelt ones; I’d cry and that’s just how impactful 18 Again was.

Synopsis: 

The drama (based on the movie 17 Again) was basically started Hong Dae Young (Yoon Sang Hyun) and Jung Da Jung (Kim Ha Neul) facing a marriage problem which lead to a decision to get a divorce, at least for Da Jung. They live seperately at the moment, Da Jang with their children and Dae Young with his best friend whom he had known since high school, Go Deok Jin (Kim Gang-Hyun). Despite being high school lovers and were very passionate to achieve their dreams, Da Jung and Dae Young were at the cross roads when Da Jung got pregnant at the age of 18. They then decided do put a halt to their dreams and got married, for their twins, Si Ah ( Roh Jeong Eui ) and Si Woo (Ryeo Un). This might started with a whole decision to be responsible adults but as time goes by they started having regrets given that life has been hitting them so hard. Eventually, after 18 years they come to a decision to get divorce - which Da Jung insists, and could not change her mind when Dae Young had no idea why they were fighting that it became this messy. This made Dae Young so frustrated that his life turned out this way. Then he made his way to his high school gym; which is now attended by his children, to shoot some balls into the basketball ring. Out of habit, he made a wish to be young again and yes, you guessed right. His wish came true! The lights went out and when it turned back on he was in the body of 18 year old Dae Young (Lee Do Hyun).

Okay so now let’s just dive into the 5 reasons why this drama is so worth watching. 

1. The plot growth and character development

I love how the plot was arranged. The writers absolutely know what they want to express in each episode episode. I like how the drama projects certain scenes from one character’s point of view and then reveals another character’s side of the story. The whole drama really wants to say that what you see is not entirely what you know. This results in a story so beautifully written, revealing one by one the things no one knows about a character. Their struggles and pain they hide from people they love just so that they won't be burdened by them, which does not necessarily resulted positively since misunderstandings occur now and then.

The characters’ development is something that should also be noted. In the beginning we see how Dae Young was a father and husband who regrets his decision for having to sacrifice his dream for his family. But, after getting the chance to be young again and to be able to do what he want - that is basketball. He started to realise his mistakes and this has opened his eyes as to what his dream actually is. Being able to only help and care about his family without them knowing who he is, was so painful for him since they really have the idea of not needing him anymore in their life. Same goes for Da Jung, at first she felt like Dae Young was changing, did not love her anymore and was pathetic. However, as time goes by some things came to her knowledge, her perspectives towards Dae Young changed. Other characters have their own story and growth as well but you guys should find them out yourselves. 

2. Lee Do Hyun

When I say Lee Do Hyun carried the whole drama, I’m not even exagerrating. he potrayed his character as a young father who struggles to raise children and provide for his family. I think he touched my heart the most. I saw his behind the scenes and I can totally see his passion and the amount of effort he puts into his acting. The chemistry he has with other actors are exceptional maybe because of his bright personality. I just realised I have watched everything in his discography and I must say his acting has grown so much, he discovers and shows new sides of as well - through this character.

3. Double Second Lead Syndrome

This drama did not only made me choose between the two main male leads for Da Jung but also between the two student who like Si Ah. Ye Ji Hoon ( Wi Ha Joon) was competent, kind, handsome and smart. He’s a famous baseball player, he is everything you want in a guy! but I can’t help myself to get swooned by Dae Young as well. It was hard for me. but, between Goo Ja Sung (Hwang In Yeop) and Seo Ji Ho (Golden Child’s Bo Min), I was team Jiho since day 1 because I just can bring myself to like Jasung. I mean he bullied Si Woo so... although he had his moments, and changed later in the drama. All im saying is its fun to have these 4 male characters who are totally different and I enjoyed rooting for them.

4. The Production

This drama has amazing production quality. I love the transitions between adult and young Dae Young scenes. Also, how they made a lot of swoon worthy scenes so beautiful. The OSTs are amazing as well. I still listen to them. I want to give an appreciation to this drama for letting me discover new talents, the younger casts. They’re so good at potraying their roles. I really enjoyed every scene relatingn to students at Serim High. The fact that they give us extra clip (variety show kinda) after filming and they’re still in their characters was fun to watch as well. This just makes it harder for me to detach from the drama.

5. The Message

The writers for this drama really know what they’re doing. Every story, every role has its purpose. Each episode was totally necessary and I’d say has something to tell. This story is about second chances, sacrifices, passion and love. For me personally, I can no longer watch a drama solely for entertainment. I need something more to enjoy it. 18 Again gave me that. It made me rethink about how I treat my loved ones. Whether I appreciate them enough or if I ever consider their pain and sacrifices because you see, the world really does not revolves only around us. 18 Again also caters social issues like discrimination and sexual harrasment against women at workplace, school bullying, illegal college broker and many more. I also appreciate that they point out how children behaves differently to their parents and friends due to the expectations parents have on them. I think we all can relate to that. 

All in all, 18 Again is a beautiful story about family rather than just about an adult who gets to live his young life again. i think thats all. took me almost a week to write this but yea. Hope you guys enjoy it and happy binge watching! Don’t forget to tell me what you guys think about the drama💞

- shaininn⭐

[somnilogical]

like the evil people at cfar & affiliates have no philosophical leg to stand on and they know it. all they can do is violate their wistleblower policy, try and make a narrative where they see which transfem they can dismiss as crazy / rapist / brainwashed. trying tentative exploratory lies in each direction. then when challenged being like "ah no i didnt mean it like that!! i love trans women!" and then doing it again.

ive documented so many of them. a lot of the lies were calculated such that it would be mortifying to repeat them even to correct them. like elle benjamin saying emma thought torturing children was hot. thats a lie. or kelsey piper saying emma was indistinguishable from a rapist.

but the correct response at these tentative tries at defamation is to repost them in full and drive straight against the expectation that you wouldnt want to repeat these lies aimed to eliminate people who could disrupt the social order.

here's kelsey piper comparing emma to brent dill, saying they are indistinguishable from a rapist for talking about philosophy on the internet:

https://pastebin.com/tje4hN33

heres emmas parse of it:

<<actual lintamande quotes simplified:

glass said [they tried to do what a] person really endorsedly wanted [...] even if the person claimed they wanted something different

[they may have been seeking social] proof that we didn't really have an ethical injunction against it

and part of my main concern about glass, etc. is that their priors seem really really off to me?

so if they say they'll use their social priors to decide when it's appropriate to violate peoples' preferences, I am more scared than if someone whose social priors seem sensible to me says that

combination of two things. one is that, yes, people's "this person is manipulating me and coercing me" detectors ping, at glass in particular, and asking people to turn down their 'this person is manipulating me and coercing me' detectors is a big ask and not always good for them

with comments interspersed about Brent so that people would associate me with him>>

lex (trans) noted this pattern about the chatroom:

<<[11:19] alexander: they’re like... kiiiinda incapable of criticizing the ethical positions of a trans woman without lowkey calling her a rapist. which is like all cis people ever but i’m not happy with it>>

heres elle benjamin choosing to "believe" the lie that emma thought child abuse was hot:

(emma was never let in the "feminist" group to...talk about their experience of being abused.)

heres elle benjamin talking about how much she loves trans women and has empathy for emma being abused. while lying about emma thinking child abuse was hot and lying about them having been violent and banning them from the "rationalist feminist" group they mod. (using the same excuse kingsley did when he said that he chose to believe the lie that anna salamon, president of cfar, wasnt involved in hiring at cfar. "oh someone else told me this." as if that shunts responsibility on to someone else for you believing obvious lies. (it doesnt. someone telling you stereotyped lies about minorities doesnt abdicate responsibility for joining in with the mob.)):

its all so deeply evil what these people are doing. but all they have is "for vague unspecified reasons its Deeply Wise not to listen to what these people say" *sage nod* "they are infohazards, glitches in the matrix, we should all agree on a social norm of ignoring these people." because they are actually wrong and will lose in a debate if they have to justify, say, why they are saying OpenAI and DeepMind have 'alignment teams' when they know thats not true. or why 0 trans women have ever been hired by cfar. or why miri lied about what happened to the fundraiser. or why who is baked in to an fai as morally relevant is determined by a political process, excluding those who have died and nonhuman sentience. or 1000 other questions they can not answer.

these exploratory tendrils of "what lies based on nothing can we get away with?" they also did this with somni and ziz and gwen, the lies they try have a pattern of being blatantly transmisogynistic. for instance patrick sensa lavictoire after sinking a marginal 71,000$ into a failed fundraiser, tried the lie of [ziz is a "gross uncle" style abuser like brent]. https://pastebin.com/TUZ7EThz

there are a lot of avenues people tried that i have catalogued. pete michaud (listed on the cfar staff page) tried saying that ziz was tall and anna was a ~small vulnerable cis woman~. one of these people is the president of a large organization.

<<I'll preface by saying outright that what follows is a full throated, shameless defense of Anna, my friend and colleague, against untrue and ungrounded accusations.

[…]

1. An accusation of Anna that might actually land is that she is a little fast to feel threatened in social situations. She is a woman who is unusually small and has dealt with minor physical disabilities from childhood. She is a full-grown, competent person who navigates life fine (probably better than most, frankly), but the sense of physical vulnerability has deep roots, and she carries it into her social interactions.

2. The context with Ziz is long, and importantly begins prior to Ziz's gender transition. Anna's perspective on a lot of their early interactions is as a small, socially-vulnerable woman, interacting with a male-presenting person who towers over her, and has a penetrating social presence and quite unusual mannerisms that are a combination of low-affect and extremely direct (a combination easy to interpret as aggressive or depersoning).>>

https://pastebin.com/Y5E8d29D

pastel (trans) commented: <<pete michaud's post is invalid

you don't have to read ziz's blog to understand that he is doing bullshit stereotypy

"full-throated defense" suck anna's cock a little deeper, buddy

"anarchists are scary and evil, they throw bombs and wear black">>

pete is a sycophant and probably since he hangs around anna is used to an environment where you can just be this transmisogynistic. anna certainly expected the strat pete is trying to work on ziz.

<<At WAISS, my intent to not be net negative was partially consumed by the intent of Anna Salamon to prevent whistleblowing, and by her timeless gambit that trans women must know our place as inferior to not be “dangerous”.>>

there are a lot more. all playing on transmisogynistic stereotypes, all not true or not relevant. probably the easiest coordination mechanism for ostracism these people could locate.

fortunately for the fate of sentient life in the multiverse, transfems have been talking with each other and know the metagame so when cfar affiliates push the button that activates the trapdoor to flush transfems out im just levitating above empty space.

they could have read the metagame too, but i guess all they would have chosen to see was painful infohazardous static. frying their brain, making their eyes bleed. which honestly is pretty metal. credit to porpentine for neurotype stenography. i know way more about their strategy than they do.

[ckret2]

How do you usually make up alien genders? I'm trying to write a different gender structure for aliens in my story and im having difficulty-

Under a read more for a long example/demonstration of The Process In Action.

EDIT: or maybe not, thanks tumblr. Sorry for the long post, tumblr won't let me put in a read more.

Okay so the first thing you've gotta do is decide that you've got a bone to pick with every single aspect of sex and gender. Every single one.

But you only go after one aspect at a time. And what you do is you sit down and you think up a way to contradict that aspect as hard as possible. The more narrow and niche it is, and the more elaborate you get in the act of contradicting it, the better you're doing.

Some things, it makes sense to pick a bone with. "Hey, I've got a bone to pick with the assumption that every personality trait, behavior, and job duty can be assigned 50/50 between two anatomical sexes with no overlap or flexibility!" That's a totally reasonable thing to pick a bone with. You can pick that same bone IRL and be a totally rational sensible person.

But the fact that it's a reasonable position to take doesn't mean that, for the sake of sci-fi, you can't find some weird way to make the above assumption invalid for your alien species (that is to say, invalid in a DIFFERENT way than it already is IRL). Like... maybe you decide to leave the above assumption 95% intact, but take aim specifically at the connection of each gender role with an anatomical sex. Maybe you decide that your aliens DO have a culture with extremely strictly divided 50/50 gender roles—maybe they even look the same as our gender roles—and the vast majority of the population IS split half and half between "the ones with the baby-growing anatomy" and "the ones with the sperm-producing anatomy"—but, maybe their two extremely strict gender roles have no correlation with their two sexes.

Maybe instead—as the first thing that came to mind—they get assigned their genders based on birth order: firstborns get Gender #1, secondborns get Gender #2, thirds get Gender #1, etc., regardless of what set of reproductive anatomy they have. With one very simple move, you've subverted a very widespread human assumption about how sex and gender work, but you've subverted it in a very inhuman way.

And then you can dig into the implications of this very simple change. What are these two gender roles like—are they the same as "female" and "male" but they've been relabeled "odds" and "evens," or are you going to change up what expectations are placed on these gender roles? In humans, research has been done suggesting that there's some personality differences between people based on their birth order, e.g., firstborns are generally more assertive and secondborns are more conciliatory—you could look into that research and see if any of it could be useable in developing your alien genders. Which gender role do you think is more desirable in your aliens' society? If it's the "odds" gender, does that mean odds vastly outnumber evens because parents decide to have one kid and stop there—or else, after their second kid, feel driven to move on to the third? If it's the "evens" gender, does that mean the gender balance is about equal because parents want to have one odd and one even; in times of famine or other mass tragedies, will firstborns be abandoned in favor of keeping the far preferable second child? (Or you can have your aliens be actually moderately decent people and treat both genders equally.)

How does sexuality work? What does it mean to be "straight"—do most people pair off based on anatomy (so that most couples might be able to reproduce but they could be odd/even, even/even, or odd/odd), or is it based on gender? (If it's based on gender, then same sex couples and opposite sex couples might be about equal, and on that basis be all treated equally—but a couple might still be ostracized based on the partners' birth order.) If society's conception of "straightness" is based on gender, then are you expected to pair off with the same or the opposite gender? (There's no reason "stick with your own gender!" couldn't be considered the "normal" thing in a totally different culture, especially if gender's 100% divorced from reproductive roles.) Are you perhaps expected to select your romantic/sexual partners based on anatomy AND gender (i.e., to be straight you need a partner of the same gender and the opposite sex)? And while we're on the subject—do they actually even care about straightness or gayness or any other form of queerness, and if so, why?

What happens with twins—are they both assigned the same gender, or are they given a gender based on the order they came out? If a secondborn says "I'm trans, I'm not an even, I'm an odd" and the parents go "that's fine we love you and we'll use odd pronouns for you," then when they have a third kid a year later, do they assign that kid the even gender (since they followed an odd), or do they assign that kid the odd gender (since they're kid #3)? Has society grappled with these questions yet? Do some parents with trans kids do it one way and others another? If a baby is abandoned and you don't know whether it has any elder siblings, what gender is it given? Is it treated like a firstborn, or is it gendered based on when it's added to the family that adopts it? Does the anatomy of the alien species cause them to be born with physical traits marking birth order? (What happens if the physical traits don't match their actual birth order for some reason, like a prenatal chemical imbalance—are they raised according to the traits or to actual birth order? Are the parents accused of having a child they gave up?) Maybe babies get tattoos at birth so their gender is always known—is this seen as something beautiful? as something oppressive? Is it a sterile hospital procedure? Is it a religious ceremony the whole family gathers for? Whose idea was the tattoos? Why is society okay with literally branding a baby with a gender? What's that say about their beliefs?

Once you choose an aspect of gender/sex to question, even if it's really small, if you keep asking "so how does that make this system different from my IRL one?" and "what are the implications of that?" eventually you'll have built up something novel.

And that's just picking a tiny detail of something that's reasonable to challenge because you can challenge it IRL a billion different ways. Try a more complicated one—for example: "in many species the males compete for an opportunity to mate with a female and females try to put off the males' advances/are extremely selective about who they choose; because the females, due to actually carrying the baby, both hold the key to their partner's ability to reproduce at all AND carry the highest personal risk in any reproduction because 'carry a baby/lay an egg' consumes far more energy and resources than 'fling some sperm at your partner' does." Say you don't like that at all. Say you want to design a species where one half isn't The Highly-Coveted Maker Of The Baby & Also The One Whose Body Is Doing All The Work.

You could say they're like seahorses—the mom does half of the work, then transfers the babies to the dad for the second half of gestation. But maybe you go "no, not alien enough, that still kicks off with mom actually producing the eggs, so you've still got that unbalance even if the mom passes them off later." You could say they're like spiders, where the mom eats the dad for nutrients, but maybe you go "no, that's just the mom eating the dad to compensate for the energy/material that mom has to expend, 'getting paid back for the expense' isn't 'equal from the start." Maybe they're like some species of fish, where moms lay unfertilized eggs and then dads come along and spray sperm on them, so the males don't have to compete to win a female's favor—but maybe you still don't like that they have to lay eggs in the first place! So how do you design a two-sex reproductive system where the effort of creating offspring is completely equal between both sexes and one sex isn't unilaterally competing to get access to the other?

(This isn't just a hypothetical question—it's one I asked and answered myself very recently in designing some alien anatomy I haven't had the opportunity to share yet.)

And you can do this with anything. "I'm going to keep gender roles but I'm going to change the contents of the categories." "I don't want my aliens' idea of 'normal' genders to be 'only two.'" "I don't want my aliens to have genders at all." "I don't like that a minority of the human population is gay, I think like 75% of my aliens should be gay." "I think there should be THREE sexes necessary for reproduction." "I think these aliens shouldn't have a sexual dichotomy that's like 49% one sex, 49% the other, and 2% intersex, instead I think it should be a very smooth continuum from one extreme to the other." "I think it should be a bell curve and MOST of the aliens should be intersex." "I think like 95% of the aliens oughta be trans, almost everyone transitions genders at some point." "I think hermaphroditic animals competing to see who gets which reproductive role is cool but I don't like that the winner 'gets to be' the penetrator/sperm donor, I want to design a species where their evolutionary history made it more advantageous/desirable to be the pregnant one." "I think my aliens should have LOTS of genders but NO sexes." "I think they should have biological sexes but they aren't defined by reproductive anatomy." Etc.

And then, once you've decided what's different: what about their evolutionary history led to them being like that? What about their cultural history? How is it reflected in their biology, their psychology, their beliefs, their government, their sexuality? What are the outliers like? How are outliers treated—accepted, admired, oppressed? What are acceptable and unacceptable deviations from the norm? How does it affect how they interact with the world and with each other? How's it reflected in an individual's self-image?

Start small. One small change. One thing where you're like "that kinda bugs me" or "I don't want that" and you're willing to pick at it so hard you'll invent an entire system just to subvert a single tiny detail. And let the implications bloom out from there.

[tattedgguk]

bronze

pairing(s): taehyung x reader x jungkook

genre: angst/fluff, soulmate au

word count: 1.9k

based off a prompt from @writing.prompt.s on instagram! i wrote this in one night so i hope you all enjoy !! also pls follow me im new !!! n dont forget to request !!!

-

The sound of children's laughter fills the air, setting the atmosphere to a jubilant yet serene one. The weather borders on the transition of spring and summer and leaves the air feeling a cool kind of warm with a gentle breeze. You walk gracefully, hand-in-hand with your boyfriend. Your peach-colored, floral-patterned wrap dress flows with the wind, your made-up curls bounce with every skip in your white, box-heeled step, and your smile competes with that of the sun’s. You turn your head to look up at your beloved, “where should we sit?”

“Wherever you want, baby.” Taehyung squeezes your hand lovingly. You both turn to stare across the horizon and watch the numerous amounts of small children run around and play with their family, friends, and even pets. The both of you smile, imaging a future with children of your own.

You grip his hand, your fingers intertwined, akin to puzzle pieces, and lead him to the middle of the large green field, right under two even larger cherry blossom trees. Taehyung sets the picnic basket on the ground and quickly unloads it, pulling out the striped picnic blanket and laying it flat on the ground. You grab the paper weights you packed as well and place them on the corners of the cover to keep it from flying away. Taehyung motions you to sit before him, so you smooth out your dress as you plant yourself down and wait for him to follow.

“It’s such a beautiful day today, I’m so glad we came out.” You smile.

“It really is. Almost as beautiful as you.” Taehyung winks and you laugh, slapping his arm jokingly. “You’re so dumb.” His box-like smile makes your heart flutter as you watch him unload the remaining contents of the basket. He pops open a champagne bottle and pours two glasses for the both of you. You clink cheers before taking sips.

Taehyung looks around and watches the happy families. You watch him, then turn your body to look at what he’s seeing. He grabs your waist from behind and pulls you into his front, your back resting on his chest. You roll your head back, staring at the beauty you call your boyfriend, and lean up to leave a soft kiss on the underside of his jaw. He grins down at you and presses a peck to the top of your head. His arms embrace your midriff, squeezing you with affection.

“You want a family, right?” Taehyung asks.

“Of course, I do.” You chuckle.

“Do you think you want one with me?”

“What do you even mean? Of course, I do, Taehyung!” Your hand gently slaps his for even questioning it.

“Good, ‘cause I want one with you, too.”

You only smile in reply and press your body even more into him, melting in his tight hold.

“Look, Tae! It’s that statue everyone talks about.”

You and Taehyung stroll up to the bronze figure of an unknown man. He stands, face looking sullen as he stares off into nothingness. He holds a hand out like he’s asking to hold yours. Right at his feet, sits a small plaque explaining his origin, you assume.

“HERE LIES THE STATUE OF JEON JEONGGUK. NO ONE KNOWS HIS ORIGIN OR HOW HE EVEN CAME TO BE. WE ONLY KNOW HIS NAME, HOWEVER, THE RUMOR SURROUNDING THE STATUE IS THAT WHEN HE TOUCHES HANDS WITH HIS SOULMATE, HE WILL BECOME HUMAN.”

“Woof. You can just imagine how many hands have held this man's in hopes of being his soulmate.” Taehyung says. You giggle, agreeing.

“Take a photo of us, babe. He’s kinda pretty.” Taehyung pouts, but takes your phone nonetheless.

“Okay, (Y/N), pose.”

You strike multiple poses - peace signs, sticking out your tongue, twerking in front of the bronze man, sitting next to him, and just as Taehyung was about to give you your phone back and leave, you stop him.

“Wait, babe.” He raises an eyebrow in question.

“You gotta touch his hand. What if you’re his soulmate? That would be sexy.”

Taehyung laughs and shakes his head.

“Fine, but if he comes to life, you’re breaking the news to him that I have a girlfriend.”

Your boyfriend walks up to the stranger and sticks out his index finger to barely graze the solid hand that sticks out. His bones shake in anticipation. What if he was his soulmate and he came to life? What the hell would he do? His heart races as his skin meets the metal and he holds his breath. Nothing happens. He breathes out in relief and you laugh loudly.

“You were so scared! Oh my god, you should’ve seen your face! You were literally sweating!” Your camera points at him, capturing your laughter and the entire scene on video. He turns to you and puffs out in annoyance that you recorded him.

“Okay! Okay! Maybe I was a little nervous, shut up! You do it then,” he’s clearly exasperated and it makes you giggle even harder. You don’t even hesitate to lift your arm and land a hard slap to the statue’s palm with your own.

The wind picks up harsher than before, catching you and Taehyung off guard, and the petals of cherry blossoms slap you both in the face. A bright light shines from above you two and you look up. The statue’s bronze color seems to be fading before your eyes as the appearance of skin and hair and real colors comes to life.

“No…” you whisper.

Jeon Jeongguk’s eyes shoot open and immediately land on you.

“You’re my soulmate.”

“(Y/N)… what the fuck?” Taehyung hisses, his instincts to protect you from this stranger running wild and ready to fight. You step back, away from the statue, person, alien, thing, and look around. People have gathered, encircling the three of you. Their hands hover over their mouths in disbelief and hold their phones up, recording.

“I’m alive because of you. You are my soulmate!” Jeongguk’s smile is definitely one for the books of beauty as he engulfs you in a tight hug. You shriek, pushing him away. Taehyung grabs your hand and throws you behind him, more than ready to throw it down with this thing.

“I don’t know who or what the fuck you are, but I know you are not my girlfriend’s fucking ‘soulmate’ or whatever the fuck.”

Jeongguk is taken aback, his face contorting into a look of pure hurt. Your heartstrings pull for the boy, hurting you more than you ever experienced.

“Your girlfriend?” He stares into your eyes, his glossing over and filling with tears. Your eyes do the same and you’re so confused and scared.

“Yes, my girlfriend. What the hell is happening?” Jeongguk doesn’t respond. He doesn’t have to. He knows you’re feeling exactly what he’s feeling; heartbreak.

“Tae… I don’t think he’s lying.” You whisper.

Taehyung snaps his head back and glares at you in utter shock. “What do you mean? (Y/N), what is going on?”

“Tae, I can feel it. I can feel what he’s feeling. It hurts.”

“It hurts? Baby, what’s happening? Are you okay?”

Taehyung grabs your shoulders, staring at you intensely. His face shows pure terror for you, his mind running wild with what he can possibly do for you. You gaze past your boyfriend and hold contact with Jeongguk. He only looks at you, his eyes telling you his story. It’s almost like you’re reading his mind; seeing his past.

“Oh, brother please forgive me. I didn’t cullionly to betray thou. Thy lady cameth crying to me. T’was only natural I help her grieve! Please spare me, brother.” You recognized Jeongguk’s voice, begging. You’re seeing from his point of view. He kneeled on the ground, hands placed firmly on his knees as his head bowed in apology and inferiority. His eyes stayed trained on the ground, not daring to look up unless ordered to.

“Thou did betray me. Mine owneth dram brother.” The voice was deep and almost familiar in a way but the superiority laced in his words struck both you and Jeongguk down in fear. “Behold at me at which hour I'm speaking to thou!” the voice booms.

Jeongguk jumped in fear and looked up. His eyes focused on the man above him but his face is blurred. You’re confused. Was it blurred intentionally? Or did he block this traumatic memory from his mind?

“Thou must be punished, brother,” Jeongguk shakes in fear, tears pooling in his ducts. “I beshrew thou to the ends of eternity. Thou shall becometh the stone of a broken heart until thou falleth upon thy soulmate,”the voice chuckled dryly, “as if 't be true yond shall ever befall.” Jeongguk watched as the man raised his arms, shielding his sword high before coming down hard on the his brother’s neck.

“You are my soulmate. I am alive because of you”

Jeongguk takes a few steps forwards, inching closer to you. He pushes past Taehyung and takes your hands in his and squeezes.  

“I am alive for you.”

Your breath hitches and you’re stunned speechless. The emotions you feel from this man are unfathomable. Your vision focuses on the man before you. Tears stream down your face. Jeongguk’s filled with sorrow and pain, but the tiniest bit of hope sits behind his troubles.

“You saw it, right? My story?” You nod, releasing one of your hands from his to wipe your eyes and nose.

“Who was he? The man who cursed you?” Your voice is nothing more than a whisper, and the audience surrounding you all leans in instinctively, but you ignore them.

“He was my brother. The King of our village. Beholder of all power. I was only just his despicable prince kin.”

“What was his name?”

“Taehyun.”

You step back, nodding. A fiery, ugly feeling settlling in the pit of your abdomen. Everything in your guy told you to go with this man, to forget about Taehyung and whatever fantasies you both held, and leave with Jeongguk. But you knew you couldn’t. You push your aching heart aside and pull your focus off of Jeongguk.

“I’m so sorry, Jeongguk, but I can’t”

Jeongguk’s small glimmer of faith is crushed right in front of him.

“Please don’t do this. Please, I beg you.”

“Jeongguk, I have a boyfriend. We love each other, we are planning a future together, we are going to have a family together. I can’t just leave him. I love him. I love Taehyung.”

Taehyung who had been standing off to the side, finally slides back in to snatch your waist in his arm and pull you protectively to his side. He stares down Jeongguk, a sinister look in his eyes, practically challenging the boy. Jeongguk shakes, the feeling of fear and inferiority coursing through his veins so much that he’s triggered and terrified.

“Please…” Jeongguk doesn’t dare raise his voice or add any kind of hostility, intimidated by the man holding so tightly onto his soulmate’s body.

“I’m sorry.”

You grab your boyfriend’s hand and turn to walk away. You hear Jeongguk fall to his knees behind your retreating figures and a cry escapes through his lips. Your heart throbs in anguish and your soul feels as if it’s being ripped apart, piece by piece. You look back, everyone already seeming to have forgotten the entire scene and fleeing. Jeongguk is nowhere in sight. A mass of cherry blossom petals fly by you suddenly as a single tear rolls down your cheek. You look up at Taehyung and he looks down at you, smiling like nothing ever happened; and to you and the rest of the world, nothing ever did.

“Shall thou ever meeteth thy soulmate and the lady rejects thou, thou wilt returneth to thy statue state before disintegrating and having everyone forget thy very existence.” 

[arclightbutterfly]

Light, Mind, and Hope

This is a Homestuck post, so feel free to ignore it-- it’s only marginally tied in with my transition.

EDIT: IM A FUCKING IDIOT I MEANT HEART NOT MIND

Growing up, I feel like Homestuck was an amazing guideline in understanding how I changed as a person and matured into the character that I am today. I feel like every major step in my life, I discover something new about myself, or about the world, and how I interact with it-- something that would be really difficult to describe in non-abstract terms.

It’s honestly amazing how well Andrew Hussie tied in these aspects of my life, and so much more of them that I have probably yet to discover into a webcomic. It implies that he himself must have understood these experiences and revelations, at least to the extent that he might be able to portray how they should look like in terms of maturity.

So far, I feel as if I’ve only really discovered two aspects: Light, and Mind. Recently, I think I’ve begun finding aspects of Hope within myself. And there’s just so many thoughts bouncing around in my head that I just kind of felt like I had to dump them somewhere.

That being said, I’ll start with Light.

Light

I used to think I was a Light player. This is, of course, after I thought I was a Time Player, which was really just like a superficial thing of me wanting to be all cool and cold calculations and whatever. As a Light player in my high school years, I felt as though the aspect truly resonated with me. A Knight of Light, someone who exploits fortune and information for their own objectives.

Information was always my primary weapon. I prided myself on knowing stuff on just about any topic. Whenever a new situation confronted me, I was always ready to whip out my “little-miss-know-it-all” hat and take charge of the situation with the obviously superior decision making I possessed (this is sarcasm) as a result of my knowledge.

And to be fair, it made sense to me. Information helped me through everything. Knowledge truly was power. I never went into any kind of game casually-- I always searched up guides on the perfect strategies, and did extensive research to ensure I would end up with the best possible outcome. I loved learning, and tried to learn as many talents as I could, so I could appear as competent as possible in any number of situations.

And honestly? It’s been pretty helpful, even in college. I love the feeling of being competent and being able to surprise people with hidden knowledge and talents that I just spent all of high school accumulating.

And honestly, it helped me transition, too. When I was faced with the fact that transitioning was going to be impossible for someone like me, I attacked that reality with research. I spent countless hours scouring the internet for sources and information that would ultimately forge my path.

In real life, I think realized Light players have the ability to not only understand things, but to know what things that they must know in order to understand something. They don’t spend as much time on the minutae; they instinctively understand the bare minimum of information that they must consume to produce functional models of concepts in their head. As a Light player, I think that the ability to apply this information is also a huge part of the aspect-- being able to connect concepts and determine applications for them, so that information is always at the forefront of one’s approach to any obstacle.

Mind

But now I know better. At the present moment, I think I identify more as a Mage of Mind. I know I still have that Knight of Light in me-- I think I’ve just matured enough to gain an understanding of another aspect in my identity. Mind is all about identity. It’s about who you are, the decisions you make, and above all of it, knowing why you made those decisions. As a Mage of Mind, my classpect can probably best be summed up as “know thyself.”

And this motto has held to be quite powerful. I spent a lot of time in introspection, throughout my entire life. My identity as a person, as a collection of memories, and as a sum of experiences has been of constant interest to me, ever since around third grade. I have memories marked in my brain as a child with little notes attached, reading “please don’t forget this memory” and “I know what I did now must seem inconsequential to myself in the future, but please don’t let my motivations die.” I continuously come across notes from my past self that I don’t remember writing, with words of encouragement from snapshots of my identity as it was in the past.

One of my primary motivators is the fact that I know my future self is cheering me on. Just as I now wish that I could go back in time and tell myself that everything is going to be alright, I know that in the future, I will be doing the same thing for my present self now. So, I know that I am being encouraged, and do not need to worry about not being able to tell my past self that things will turn out okay-- she already knows.

Similarly, I take care not to brush off my past self’s memories or ambitions. That way, I can be reassured that my future self will not do the same with mine. My existence is a carefully orchestrated cooperation between my various selves at all points during my life, united as a single identity striving towards a common goal.

Consequently, I’ve found introspection to be an incredibly powerful tool. By understanding how I think, I know how to take control of my mind. You know that one post that was like “being able to have total control of your own mind” as a shitty superpower, and everyone chiming in about how cool that would actually be? I feel like introspection is that superpower. The more you understand about yourself, the more you’re able to control yourself. It’s how I managed to get my time management skills. Once I cracked the code of how I learn and store information, studying became a breeze. I literally never go to any of my classes in college, and I’m doing fine. I honestly cannot express how powerful being able to understand how you learn is. It just unlocks a whole level of processing power in your brain that’s honestly just ridiculous.

In addition, it’s helped me understand other people. I used to have a parlor trick in high school, where I’d try to read someone’s personality / memories. By looking at their behavior, I was eerily good at figuring out specific memories or events in their lives that triggered those behaviors. I had a couple of my skeptical friends test me, and I was surprised to find that even with them, I had a fair bit of accuracy. As a Mind player, I feel as though one of my abilities is to recognize when people around me are on paths similar to ones that I took, but haven’t quite finished yet (this is not to say that I have finished more paths of maturity or anything-- just that we all are on different levels of various paths, and I happen to be able to see those who are on paths that I have already gone down) and understand everything about their personality that’s tied to that path based on my own state of mind when I was at that point myself.

Mind players, I think, have the power of being competent. The aspect of Mind is about unlocking the potential of the self, and discovering what you can do when you push yourself to more and more of your full ability.

Hope

I’m rereading Homestuck right now, and as I’m going through it, I’m starting to notice something else that I resonate with: Hope. Hope is positive energy, but in Homestuck, it also represents the ability to change reality. I’ve always felt a drive within myself that constantly drives me to improve and make a difference in the world around me, but even though I often describe this particular brand of motivation as “spite” or “anger at the world,” I’m not really angry. I’m hurt, for sure. And I know that the pain I’ve felt drives me. But it doesn’t drive me in a bitter way. It drives me because I want to make this world better.

My small group leader recently told me that despite the things that I’ve been through, I always manage to stay positive, but not in a manner that resembles naive optimism. More of an ability to take negative experiences and transform them into positive expressions. A refusal to allow suffering to change me for the worst. A desire to cling on to my humanity.

I found a note written to myself from the past today. It was a note written as a “personality override--” a code that I keep with myself to allow irrational decisions in my reasoning.

(As an aside, I’ve found that permitting controlled irrationality in your decision making process is a fantastic way to program your own mind. I have override protocols that I tell myself to follow without question, even when illogical, and it’s allowed me to stay constant through everything, and cling on to the things that make me who I am. It’s what lets me hang on to memories most people would have let go a long time ago, and feel a connection to myself in the future because of it. There’s other dumb stuff too, like a code I follow for if I end up time traveling back and talking to myself or something-- I have a passcode I’ve never said out loud or written down, which I’ve had since sixth grade, that I can use to verify that someone from the future is in fact myself.)

The note told me to fight off the desire to form defensive mechanisms like isolation. To stick to my personality as someone who loves no matter the circumstances. A combination of my identity as a Mind player and some aspects of myself as a player of Hope.

And I’ve found that as an aspect, Hope represents that ability for that positive energy to create change. I used that spiteful/positive/loving energy to create a non-profit organization in my sophomore year. I used it to drive my exploits as a player of light. That energy drives me to shape the world. I live for moments when people tell me that I remind them of a protagonist. I know I’m going to change the world-- because I have to.

Hope players, in this world, have the ability to shape reality to their will. Things always go their way, because it has to. They will stop at nothing to realize their dreams. Hope is overflowing, desperate motivation and drive and passion.

As I fight through my life, I’m beginning to understand more and more of what that means. I don’t know when I’m going to die. But until I do, I’m not going to stop fighting for what’s right. Trans fucking rights. I’m going to make sure no one else has to go through what I did in my childhood if it kills me.

Anyway, that’s my little spheal on that I guess. If anyone wants to understand how my brain works-- this post right here is a pretty succinct summary.

Hey, if I ever get amnesia, can someone please show me this post? Thanks.

[wordsworkweekly]

Rawls vs. Nozick A dialogue

In 1971, John Rawls published A Theory of Justice outlining a political philosophy of Justice as Fairness. In 1974, Robert Nozick wrote, what some have called, a rebuttal to Rawls’ theory in his book Anarchy, State, and Utopia. In it, he calls Rawls’ work: “...a powerful, deep, subtle, wide-ranging, systemic work in political and moral philosophy which has not seen its like since the writings of John Stuart Mill...”. He goes on to say, “Political philosophers now must work within Rawls’ theory or explain why not” (Nozick, Ch. 7, sec “Rawls’ Theory”). But even in his extreme praise, Nozick is hesitant to illuminate any specific part of Rawls’ thesis that he agrees with and, instead, limits his work to points of conflict (as he sees them). From these points of conflict, Nozick generates his own political philosophy called “Entitlement Theory.” The main thrust of his argument is that for society to provide for the have-nots is to impinge on the freedoms of the haves (i.e. it demands constant intervention by the political body and the stripping and redistribution of property/ownership/rights from those who have “justly” acquired them). Rawls’ distributive justice, Nozick argues, works in opposition to the freedoms of all men, that it is a “patterned principle” and an “end-state principle” (Nozick, Ch. 7. “Patterning...”), and therefore will eventually be impeded by the liberty of individual humans or the liberty of individual humans will be impeded by it. He says, “...any derivations from end-state principles of approximations of the principles of acquisition, transfer, and rectification would strike one as similar to utilitarian contortions in trying to derive (approximations of) usual precepts of justice; they do not yield the particular result desired, and they produce the wrong reasons for the sort of result they try to get.” (Nozick, Ch. 7, sec “The Original Position...”). To translate, Rawls’ design of Justice as Fairness cannot stay within the designed pattern without intervention of the political body and therefore, by design, will eventually harm/impinge the “precepts of justice” Rawls’ theory advocates.

The following, imagined dialogue between Rawls and Nozick hopes to illuminate not only their opposing concepts and define them, but to show the cracks and contradictions (and strange agreements) that emerge specifically in Nozick’s rebuttal. I will draw from their own works (Nozick’s Anarchy, State, and Utopia and Rawls’ 1985 essay “Justice as Fairness”). Unfortunately for Nozick, he’s right when he says, “Political philosophers must work within Rawls’ theory or explain why not.” It is Nozick’s job to explain himself and his thinking and show us, to mangle a boxing metaphor, where he’s landed clean blows (and that all of his blows are above the belt). Or to quote Omar Little from the HBO television show The Wire, “You come at the King, you best not miss.”

A DIALOGUE

ROBERT NOZICK: I read and very much admired your work.

JOHN RAWLS: You say that, but I’ve seen your rebuttal in Anarchy, State, and Utopia.and I am not so sure where your admiration lies.

RN: What do you mean?

JR: Your engagement with my theory of distributive justice, based on my belief in justice as fairness, seems to be superficial and, at least, seems to reject my definition of justice as fairness especially in regards to how the state, or political body, would have to intervene to make fairness a reality. Where my concern lies with the least advantaged, yours seems to lie with the most. You appear, time and again, to indulge in the myth of peoples’ disadvantages as being of their own doing. You say, “From each according to what he chooses to do, to each according to what he makes for himself (perhaps with the contracted aid of others) and what others choose to do for him and choose to give him of what they’ve been given previously (under this maxim) and haven’t yet expended or transferred.” (Nozick, Ch. 7, Sec. “Patterning”). Or, crudely, that they must, figuratively if not literally, pull themselves up by the bootstraps while ignoring that a lot of these have-nots aren’t born with boots to begin with (and, unfathomably, that this is somehow of their own making).

RN: I agree that we disagree on the concept of fairness. Your boot analogy holds little sway though. If the boots have been acquired justly, to have the state intervene to redistribute these boots, is, indeed, to infringe on the rights of the person who’s talents and labor went into justly acquiring them. To intervene broadly, as your justice as fairness would recommend, without knowledge of whether or not thiswealth was justly acquired, risks infringement on those living and earning a just entitlement.

JR: But you allow that some wealth and advantage that exists now has been derived via unjust means. You acknowledge this when you say, “Some people steal from others, or defraud them, or enslave them, seizing their product and preventing them from living as they choose, or forcibly exclude others from competing in exchanges.” (Nozick, Ch. 7, Sec. “The Entitlement Theory”)

RN: Yes. And I go on to say that, “none of these are permissible modes of transition from one situation to another.” It is an important principle of my “Entitlement Theory”. The first two principles, of course, are as follows: one, “[a] person who acquires a holding in accordance with the principle of justice in acquisition is entitled to that holding.” And two, “[a] person who acquires a holding in accordance with the principle of justice in transfer, from someone else entitled to the holding, is entitled to the holding.” (Nozick, Ch. 7, Sec. “The Entitlement Theory”) Any existence of injustice or infringement of the first two principles raises the third principle: rectification of that injustice in holdings. My Entitlement Theory, by design, allows a remedy for any historical injustice.

JR: So you admit that in our current state, that some of the strife and disparity we witness is not simply the natural extension of just entitlements? It is not as simple as boots and bootstraps. That present injustice (and inequality) might be traced back to an original injustice, and that our modern concepts of wealth and justice, even the conception of your “Entitlement Theory”, might just be entangled with and originate from a premise of unjust acts (like theft, fraud, or slavery etc.)?

RN: I acknowledged this, but I ask: What now? How can we rectify these injustices? How can we know them? “If past injustice has shaped present holdings in various ways, some identifiable and some not, what now, if anything, ought to be done to rectify these injustices?” (Nozick, Ch. 7, sec. “The Entitlement Theory”).

JR: I have a suggestion. Justice as fairness! As I have said before, “the conditions for a fair agreement between equal persons on the first principles of justice for that structure must eliminate the bargaining advantage that inevitably arise over time within any society as a result of cumulative and historical tendencies.” (Rawls, 16; emphasis added). My “cumulative and historical tendencies” implies that the bargaining advantage that arises (via the accumulation of political power, wealth, native endowments) may also include disparities that have occurred via your concept of unjust acquisitions. I would go so far as to say, as your bafflement alludes to on this subject, that just and unjust acquisitions throughout history are inextricably and forever entangled.

RN: But you do not present direct accusations of injustice. You make no attempt to untangle the mess.

JR: We are both guilty of that, it seems.

RN: Instead, you broadly paint those with advantages as having come to those advantages via unjust practices. Meaning, that in the application of your theory, within its basic structure, you will harm those who have committed no injustice.

JR: I would say my position is less nuanced than that. I would say that any advantage – be it political power, or wealth, or native endowments – that allow for a “threat advantage” cannot be the basis of political justice (Rawls 16). I am not so concerned with how the power imbalance arises (historically, like you are), but how that power imbalance acts to oppress and destabilize right now and into the future. I allow for rectification of unjust acquisition by assuming that any threat advantage is unjust and will always be an imposition by the haves over the have-nots, those with boots and those on bare feet, implicitly. I am working from an original position, where absent the presence of any threat advantage, its negotiators, on the premise of justice as fairness, “...regards all our judgments, whatever their level of generality... as capable of having for us a certain intrinsic reasonableness.” (Rawls 30). We, when stripped of our arbitrary threat advantages (and the disadvantages they create), not only want to ensure a basic structure that allows for anyone to pursue the life they so choose, but also for no one to be left behind, forgotten, or be taken advantaged of in pursuit of the lives we so choose. This is a reasonable position. This is justice as fairness.

RN: This is what you would define as the “difference principle”?

JR: The difference principle is found within the second of my two principles of justice. The first principle being that “Each person has the same indefeasible claim to a fully adequate scheme of basic liberties, which scheme is compatible with the same scheme of liberties for all.” And the second being, “Social and economic inequalities are to satisfy two conditions: first, they are to be attached to positions open to all under the conditions of fair equality of opportunity; and second, they are to be to the greatest benefit of the least advantaged members of society (the difference principle)” (Rawls 42-43). In other words, any inequalities that naturally arise from the first principle, must, too, benefit those at the least advantage.

RN: You know what I’m going to say.

JR: Wilt Chamberlain.

RN: Well, yes. But first I want to briefly discuss Locke’s theory of acquisition and his famous proviso. And how, from this, I get to Wilt Chamberlain, and locate the crack in your system of justice as fairness – namely that it is a patterned principle and how patterned principles, or end-state principles, will always be disrupted by human liberty.

JR: Okay. Tell me about Locke.

RN: Simply, “Locke views property rights in an unowned object as originating through someone’s mixing his labor with it.” But “[t]his gives rise to many questions. What are the boundaries of what labor is mixed with? If a private astronaut clears a place on Mars, has he mixed his labor with (so that he comes to own) the whole planet, the whole uninhabited universe, or just a particular plot?” (Nozick, Ch. 7. “Locke’s Theory”).

JR: Why use an astronaut for your analogy when Locke provides a simple rendering of his property formula via the “Wild Indian.” He says, “The fruit or venison which nourishes the wild Indian, who knows no enclosure, and is still a tenant in common, must be his, and so is his— i.e., a part of him, that another can no longer have any right to it before it can do [the Wild Indian] any good for the support of his life.” (Locke 116; emphasis added). If the “Wild Indian” eats the venison, it is in his belly and the calories consumed are processed and delivered about his system to maintain his body and thereby his life. The venison and the fruit he has consumed are his property and no one else’s. He has “fenced” it off behind his organs. For another human to acquire what is in the “Wild Indian’s” belly would be for that other person to cut it out from him. But I would think this falls within your conception of unjust acquisition?

RN: It does. And is exactly my point. At what point does the venison become his property? When he ate it? When he cooked it? When he dressed it? When he killed it? When he picked up its tracks and saw it for the first time?

JR: Locke would argue, “The labour that was [his], removing [the object that was held in common] out of that common state they were in, hath fixed [his] property in them.” (Locke 117).

RN: Okay, for argument’s sake, let’s say property begins when the “Wild Indian” removes the venison from the commons, when he kills it, when he realizes the fruits of his labor. But before he can remove it from the commons, Locke’s proviso comes into play. “For this “labour” being the unquestionable property of the labourer, no man but he can have a right to what that is once joined to [that which was removed via his labor from what is commonly held in nature], at least where there is enough, and as good left in common for others” (Locke 116). That is to say that the taking of the venison is just so long as there are other venison held in common, so that the “Wild Indian’s” fellow humans are not disadvantaged by him making this venison his property. That is to say that, “Locke’s proviso... is meant to ensure that the situation of others is not worsened.” (Nozick, Ch. 7, sec. “Locke’s Theory...”). But there is an argument that this proviso introduces a problematic end point where, if all the venison are claimed by the labours of human beings, that the natural end point would be to the disadvantage of whomever did not lay claim or apply their labor to the acquisition of the venison. For, ultimately, to own something (of a finite nature – like venison) is to say someone else cannot own it and eventually disadvantage and inequality will emerge. This is all to say, “Someone may be made worse off by another’s appropriation in two ways: first, by losing the opportunity to improve his situation by a particular appropriation...; and second, by no longer being able to use freely (without appropriation) what he previously could. A stringent requirement that another not be made worse off by an appropriation would exclude the first way if nothing else counterbalances the diminution in opportunity, as well as the second” (Nozick, Ch 7. Sec. “Locke’s theory....”).

JR: The difference principle, you might say, is a stringent requirement not dissimilar to Locke’s proviso?

RN: You said it, not me.

JR: And how does Wilt Chamberlin come into play here?

RN: As an example of my Entitlement Theory, one not predicated on the need for a difference principle or a proviso, but instead a demonstration of wealth acquisition that is just and has no need of state interference (or a minimal need). It is based on the fictional situation that Wilt Chamberlain, being so sought after for his basketball talents, signs a contract that twenty-five cents from the price of each ticket of admission goes to him. “The season starts, and people cheerfully attend his team’s games; they buy their tickets, each time dropping a separate twenty-five cents of their admission price into a special box with Chamberlain’s name on it. They are excited about seeing him play; it is worth the total admission price to them. Let us suppose that in one season one million persons attend his home games, and Wilt Chamberlain winds up with $250,000, a much larger sum than the average income and larger even than anyone else has.” (Nozick, Ch. 7. Sec. “How Liberty Upsets...”). Is he not entitled to this wealth, this advantage?

JR: It depends.

RN: On what?

JR: Ignoring whether or not this plays within my own theory, I’m not sure this example can even live up to your own standards.

RN: Explain.

JR: The third principle of your Entitlement Theory acts to rectify any unjust acquisition.

RN: But I have demonstrated that that Wilt Chamberlain’s $250k was acquire via the first two principles.

JR: Yes, but you don’t account for the origin of all those quarters and whether or not each and every of those one million quarters were justly acquired. Not to mention the facilities in which the game is being played, and the owners of Wilt’s team, where did their wealth originate?

RN: This does not undercut the premise of Wilt’s just entitlement to that $250k. If injustice can be proven, it, too, can be rectified.

JR: And, say, hypothetically, those ticket buyers were all slaveholders. That not only did the quarter they gave Wilt Chamberlain derive from the labour of slaves, but the full ticket price too. Your third principle calls for an intervention, does it not?

RN: (says nothing)

JR: By amending your fiction even slightly with my fiction of 1 million slaveholders, we render Wilt’s natural endowments meaningless if the value of his labor is being paid for by unjust means. Before you protest, we know that your theory can be applied to the concept of slave reparations. Matt Bruenig discusses this briefly in a short article he wrote for the think tank Demos in 2014. He quotes you as saying “If the actual description of holdings turns out not to be one of the descriptions yielded by the principle, then one of the descriptions yielded must be realized.” (Nozick, Ch. 7, “The Entitlement Theory”). He rewords this to say, “If the actual holdings of property do not match the holdings that would have resulted under the conditions of justice, then steps must be taken to rectify that and place things back in just order.” In other words, Bruenig continues: “That's the most straightforward reparations argument there is.” (Bruenig “Robert Nozick agrees...”). Because the injustice of slavery is so vast and insidious and woven into the texture of all American wealth, rectification of this injustice would devastate the US economy (as we know it). Just like the realization that Wilt’s fictional $250k, and the fictional ticket prices, were being paid for by unjust means would necessitate a rectification (to put things in just order) that would devastate (force a redistribution of) not only Wilt’s $250K, but all revenues that the owners acquired and used to maintain their business and the facilities in which Wilt plays (including the pay cheques of Wilt and his teammates). For your Entitlement Theory to work, the third principle must be applied before the first two can come into effect. Just order must be restored. Even if all just acquisitions follow from one unjust acquisition, no following acquisition can be just. Your rules, not mine.

RN: But I did wonder, out loud, “Is an injustice done to someone whose holding was itself based upon an unrectified injustice?”(Nozick, Ch. 7. Sec. “The Entitlement Theory”). Is it not an injustice, in our fictional scenario, if Wilt’s just acquisition of wealth is used to rectify past injustices?

JR: So you would let an injustice stand rather than find an alternative to alleviate the encumbrances of threat advantages (like political power, wealth, and natural endowments) acquired via unjust practices?

RN: Ideally no rights would be impinged.

JR: Indeed. But rights have been impinged; they have led to inequalities and threat advantages in negotiating the basic structure of society. Your theory does little to rectify these imbalances; you even say you’re not really concerned with the specifics only the generalities of your theory (Nozick. Ch. 7. Sec. “The Entitlement Theory”). Even though you can acknowledge that these disparities exist and that some are derived by unjust measures, you still insist that one’s worth is their ability to tug on their own bootstraps. It is a troubling position to take, since, we established earlier, that it is hard to untangle the just or unjust origins of the person who wears boots and the person in bare feet (and what exactly their own abilities had in effecting their position or whether their circumstance arose out of an unjust imbalance). If Wilt’s wealth, like America’s, was built on the back of slavery, well, then as William Faulkner said about the injustice of the death of Emmett Till: “...if we in America have reached that point in our desperate culture when we must murder children, no matter for what reason or for what color, we don’t deserve to survive, and probably won’t.” (Stein, “William Faulkner...”). If we allow injustice to stand, or to wipe the slate clean as you put it, even if from here until eternity all acquisitions are just and follow the three principles of your Entitlement Theory, we will forever be haunted by those injustices – by the slow deterioration of society into ever greater extremes of those who have and those who have not.

CONCLUSION

Contrasting these two thinkers is an interesting challenge because, it is obvious, Nozick is inspired by Rawls’ thesis (he is an acolyte and a heretic at the same time). But his arguments tend toward the narrow, the specific, the arcane, and his formulations always support the haves and always place the have-nots in a weaker position (of having to beg or wait for the volunteer charity of others – the charity, of course, being generated by the surplus of the haves’ Nozickian “just” ownership of resources). He also doesn’t seem interested in collective political stability the way Rawls is interested in it. Though he does allow for a minimal state to maintain some form of coercive power to maintain some form of political stability (favoring, again, those who already have vs. those who have-not). He allows for this via his concept of liberty and by evoking that old cliché: that the have-nots are in their circumstance by their free will, that they need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps to overcome those circumstances. He openly ignores that a lot of these have-nots aren’t born with boots to begin with and privileges those who not only have one pair of boots, but may have more pairs of boots than their feet can fill (and that they may have come to this wealth of boots via unjust practices – either directly or indirectly). The third principle of his Entitlement Theory allows for the rectification of injustices, but as shown with slave reparations and my fictional Rawls’ amendment of the Chamberlin allegory, it doesn’t acknowledge how entangled our current circumstances are with historical injustices and to rectify them may mean the dismantling of our society as we know it. Here Nozick seems, sometimes, to be the contrarian for the contrarian’s sake (concerned with matters of the mind vs. matters of existential reality – like whether or not someone’s just ownership might impede access for others to what Rawls calls primary goods, or how lack of access to these primary goods places at risk the stability of the society (and the market) in which those so advantaged can pursue their so-called natural liberties.

Citations

Bruenig, Matt. “Robert Nozick Agrees With Ta-Nehisi Coates” Demos. 2014. (accessed via: http://www.demos.org/blog/5/22/14/robert-nozick-agrees- ta-nehisi-coates)

Locke, John. Two Treatise of Government. Printed for Thomas Tegg; W. Sharpe and Son; G. Offor; G. and J. Robinson; J. Evans and Co.: Also R. Griffin and Co. Glasgow; and J. Gumming, Dublin. 1883.

Nozick, Robert. Anarchy, State, and Utopia. Chapter 7. Basic Books. 2013. (accessed via: https://www.safaribooksonline.com/library/view/anarchy-state- and/9780465063741/Chapter007.html)

Rawls, John. Justice as Fairness, Part I §6 to 11, and part II §13 to 17. 1985.

Stein, Jean. “William Faulkner, The Art of Fiction No. 12” Paris Review. Issue 12. Spring 1955. (accessed via:https://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/4954/william-faulkner-the-art- of-fiction-no-12-william-faulkner)

[hyvnmi-blog]

so my dumb ass decides to spend quality sleeping time creating a blog and doing an intro.. tomorrow’s early rise will surely be an Experience, dear fucking godsdgkljldf. hey guys, i’m jules !! i’m a uni student from canada, thankfully off for the summer, and am.. so obsessed with that hui x somin duet that i went against my desire to play a different fc ( bc im so far up this girl’s ass already ) but.. her abs.. klsgdjl. also excuse the clashing icons in the theme, just added a couple i last had saved until i could make it Perfect tomorrow evening. i’d say more abt myself, but i honestly don’t have the patience dgsjk so below you can read up on seoul’s resident skating brat halle, a bitch who overworks and doesn’t know how to chill long-term !! stats page is HERE for your reading pleasure, plots and what not will be up later on !

└ jeon somin, twenty-three, she/her ┐ this town wouldn’t be complete without chae “halle” hyunmi wondering around. they’re known as the prodigy and have been living here for four years. i hear they really like cranberry salsa, classical music and rain, but can’t stand distractions, laziness and cherries. their sole purpose? i hear it’s to finally become an olympic medalist, but we’ll see how that goes. ( jules, 18+, gmt-3:30, she/her )

honestly she is.. fucked sgjfsgdkl

i’ve had inspo for her after the olympics and rly wanted to use her somewhere, so if some things here seem a little.. idk, farfetched for your taste, we’ll pin it on that sfdgkdfj

this is her as popular vines

so chae hyunmi aka halle, ulsan born, raised in seoul and relocated to toronto, canada with her parents, little sis and partner to train bc..

she’s a figure skater, good enough to win ( .. junior ig ) titles when she was in her early teens, so it was only inevitable for her to leave for toronto to train with the Best eventually

she’s competed in international competitions, as part of a pair, and made her olympic debut in sochi by the skin of her teeth; her highest placement was third place ( not at sochi pls sgjkld she prob ranked in the top ten at best ), so she’s got a medal or two to her name

ultimately it was after sochi that she saw her coach and ( ex ) partner intervene with her.. unhealthy practicing habits

she’s a perfectionist through and through, so of course she’d spend hours on the ice at just seventeen/eighteen years old, even younger tbh, to get a routine right. but she pushed herself harder and harder, where small missteps would lead her to fall hard and recover for days on end, even spraining her ankle just before competition season was to begin

so when her coach insisted she take a break, her parents following suit, it was with good reason — one that she didn’t fucking see fsdkgkl

even so, them pushing her to prioritize education for a bit, to get ahead of the skaters who would prob only be able to do so upon retirement in a good few years’ time, and hanging up her skates until she saw it as.. less than something she needed to abuse herself to feel comfortable with, for as long as they would do so led to her resolve shattering and her applying for universities both in canada and sk ( the sly brat reasoned that it’d be nice to be reconnect with her roots.. for the sake of having something going for her beyond just competing in pyeongchang ! )

which is how, miraculously, she got accepted into uni in seoul ( still figuring out which, rip ). her grades were good, she had a super brief volunteering stint and she’s a rising star ( well, was.. the bitch wouldn’t be competing again anytime soon to keep herself where she was within the skating circuit ) in her favoured sport, she deemed it inevitable sfkljfdgk

the transition wasn’t too hard ofc; she got comfortable with the campus and seoul and was back on the ice in no time, joining the uni’s skating team under her parents’ noses and making the most of it as comeback/olympics prep

she saw herself as poised to be added to the roster once again, now a singles prospect after a major falling out with her longtime partner for one too many dumb bitch moves, and was desperate for it since it’s in pyeongchang, however the stars didn’t align when she just missed obtaining qualification on sk’s roster on a technicality, and nothing could’ve compared to the agony that was missing her chance in something she invested sm practice, time and compliance with the people around her to pull through and get to pyeongchang

she’s still distraught over it, it’s been a few months since that happened and she gets emo real quick, misty-eyed if you bring it up ( she uh, has issues with moving on from things if you can’t tell )

suffice to say she resents her coach for his minor contribution in fucking her and himself over, dropped him out of anger ( a move she.. does feels bad abt on a personal level but professionally ?? pft ) and linked up with one back in toronto who she’ll begin seeing when she’s “ prepared ” to give it a shot again

studied history despite wanting to be a skating coach when she retires as a competitor, bc she rly loves history ok ??

lives on her own bc she can’t deal with even minimally questionable people as roommates jdfgkls

personality and other shit

she is.. a mess rly

inflexible, independent, charismatic, etc

most of her actual personality is further down oops dsfgjklfg

kinda detached ?? like she doesn’t want too many distractions and she deems relationships as the fucking Worst for it.. she’s had some pals from skating with potential go downhill when they got too deep with certain partners or just with too many side hobbies, social obligations, so she’s trying to be level-headed while not destroying her social life ?

idk it’s hard to explain, she’s an enigma even to me in that area

only dated once. when she was like nine. with her first pairs partner she quickly ditched.

not.. super sexually active either ( rip ?? )

but she’s been Involved with people so fdskng

on the ice, or just in whatever she’s applying herself to, she’s domineering and blunt, v strict on herself though she’s slacked off a bit over the years.. so imagine how self-disciplined — in the worst of ways — she was when she was younger

with a rigorous work ethic like hers, her being a leader among those at the local skating club implies that she’d be strict too with what little power she has.. but she’s kinda chill overall ?? tho you still have to get your twizzles right before the end of the day, don’t care that the hockey players will be out in two ! let’s go !

uh.. her attitude carries over with a Lot of things. she especially has no time for people who are Committed to their sport but show poor performances bc of laziness, distractions, etc. so brace your kids for hurricane hyunmi ??

call her ice queen. try it. try it. GKFDJKGDSF she hates that nickname 95% of the time, usually bc she assumes people are basing it off of her initial/professional demeanour first and her passion second

she rly just has a hard shell where it matters, aka her career and stuff, but is a semi-precious gem overall

kind of dramatic and a meme ngl, curses quite a bit, whips out english far too often — especially if she’s shit-talking bc you made an ugly choice but is trying to be a Supportive Friend

english name came from halle berry bc hyunmi thought she was rly pretty on all the red carpets her mom would have on growing up sfgdkjflk

also likes cranberry salsa?? an odd fave but it’s one of mine and i wanted to include it just bc jgsflddgks

unwinds with the usual netflix and wine, but also dance — helps with her choreo for routines too so

oH also prob still hurts herself by overworking, especially after That Lost Opportunity, i hate

ok idk what else to say rn, accept this pls

KDFJGSKFL uh, let’s end it there. if anyone wants to plot, im me !! ( ps, if you prefer d*scord like yours truly, just ask for it or send me yours ! )

[jcannakim-blog]

i’M FINALLY HOME BITCH !! ugh thank fuck. also i’m sobbing, my girl kaetlyn won the world championship title !! islanders unite ! hey guys, i’m jules !! i’m a uni student from canada and am team ny queens and mayhem on rpdr ( tho this cast.. their first impressions have me rooting for them all tbh ), . i’d say more abt myself, but y’all — and me — have waited long enough dgsjk so below you can read up on yonsei’s resident skating brat jojo, a bitch who overworks and doesn’t know how to chill long-term !! plots page is HERE for your reading pleasure, stats and what not will be up later on !

⋆ · ☾ * ― did you see { bae joohyun } around campus? no, that’s just { joanna kim } ! i heard they’re a { twenty-two } y/o { history } major and the { co-leader } of { the lettermans }. she identifies as a { pansexual + cisfemale }. { the moment - tame impala } is often heard from their earbuds. aren’t they’re also in { figure skating ( captain ) and dance } ? anyways, i’ve heard they’re { inexorable & sedulous } ! no wonder they’re an { aquarius }. [ jules, 20, nt, she/her & n/a ]

honestly she is.. fucked sgjfsgdkl

i’ve had inspo for her after the olympics and rly wanted to use her somewhere, so if some things here seem a little.. idk, farfetched for your taste, we’ll pin it on that sfdgkdfj

this is her as popular vines

so joanna kim, aka kim ahin or jojo — but p..ls don’t call her ahin if by some miracle you figure it out, ya girl will lit ignore you like the petulant thing she is, she sometimes hates her parents for not leaving it at an english name gdjksf — canadian born and raised in richmond, bc. her sk national dad and first gen korean-canadian mom would later relocate the family ( with her little sis ) to toronto for her to train bc..

ya girl’s a figure skater, good enough to win ( .. junior ig ) titles when she was in her early teens, so it was only inevitable for her to leave for toronto eventually

she’s competed in international competitions and made her olympic debut in sochi by the skin of her teeth; her highest placement was third place ( not at sochi pls sgjkld she prob ranked in the top ten at best ), so she’s got a medal or two to her name

ultimately it was after sochi that she saw her coach intervene with her.. unhealthy practicing habits

she’s a perfectionist through and through, so of course she’d spend hours on the ice at just seventeen/eighteen years old, even younger tbh, to get a routine right. but she pushed herself harder and harder, where small missteps would lead her to fall hard and recover for days on end, even spraining her ankle just before competition season was to begin

so when her coach insisted she take a break, her parents following suit, it was with good reason — one that she didn’t fucking see fsdkgkl

even so, them pushing her to prioritize education for a bit, to get ahead of the skaters who would prob only be able to do so upon retirement in a good few years’ time, and hanging up her skates until she saw it as.. less than something she needed to abuse herself to feel comfortable with, for as long as they would do so led to her resolve shattering and her applying for universities both in canada and sk ( the sly brat reasoned that it’d be nice to be familiar with where her family came from.. for the sake of being well-rounded beyond just competing in pyeongchang ! )

which is how, miraculously, she got accepted into yonsei. her grades were good, she had a super brief volunteering stint and she’s a rising star ( well, was.. the bitch wouldn’t be competing again anytime soon to keep herself where she was within the skating circuit ) in her favoured sport, she deemed it inevitable sfkljfdgk

the transition wasn’t too hard besides cultural differences, some that put her off a little but nonetheless; she got comfortable with the campus and seoul and was back on the ice in no time, joining the skating team under her parents’ noses and making the most of it as comeback/olympics prep

she saw herself as poised to be added to the roster once again, and was desperate for it since it’s in pyeongchang, however the stars didn’t align when uni requirements and the distance from home kept her from obtaining qualification via competitions in canada and nothing could’ve compared to the agony that was missing her chance in something she invested sm practice, time and compliance with the people around her to pull through and get to pyeongchang

she’s still distraught over it, it’s been a few months since that happened and she gets emo real quick, misty-eyed if you bring it up ( she uh, has issues with moving on from things if you can’t tell )

suffice to say she resents her coach for fucking her and himself over, dropped him out of anger ( a move she.. does feels bad abt on a personal level but professionally ?? pft ) and linked up with one back home who she’ll begin seeing when semester break comes

is studying history despite wanting to be a skating coach when she retires as a competitor, bc she rly loves history ok ??

is co-leader of the lettermans and.. oh honey sfdkgjk

she does think this shit is dumb and petty, but on the bright side she’s chilling with some like-minded kids so she can’t rly say shit

personality and other shit

she is.. a mess rly

inflexible, independent, charismatic, etc

most of her actual personality is further down oops dsfgjklfg

kinda detached ?? like she doesn’t want too many distractions and she deems relationships as the fucking Worst for it.. she’s had some pals from skating with potential go downhill when they got too deep with certain partners or just with too many side hobbies, social obligations, so she’s trying to be level-headed while not destroying her social life ?

idk it’s hard to explain, she’s an enigma even to me in that area

only dated once. when she was like nine. with a pairs partner she quickly ditched.

not.. super sexually active either ( rip ?? )

me: at least she lost her virgi —

jojo: “ virginitY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT, SUSAN ! FUCK OFF ”

me: 

on the ice, or just in whatever she’s applying herself to, she’s domineering and blunt, v strict on herself though she’s slacked off a bit over the years.. so imagine how self-disciplined — in the worst of ways — she was when she was younger

with a rigorous work ethic like hers, her being captain of the figure skating team implies that she’d be strict too with what little power she has.. but she’s kinda chill overall ?? tho you still have to get your twizzles right before the end of the day, don’t care that the hockey players will be out in two ! let’s go !

uh.. her attitude carries over with her clique ig, and other people she knows in sports around campus. she has no time for people who are Committed to their sport but show poor performances bc of laziness, distractions, etc. so brace your kids for hurricane joanna ?? 

call her ice queen. try it. try it. GKFDJKGDSF she hates that nickname 95% of the time, usually bc she assumes people are basing it off of her initial/professional demeanour first and her passion second

she rly just has a hard shell where it matters, aka her career and school and stuff, but is a semi-precious gem overall

kind of dramatic and a meme ngl, curses quite a bit, whips out english far too often — especially if she’s shit-talking bc you made an ugly choice but is trying to be a Supportive Friend

unwinds with the usual netflix and wine, but also dance, hence her being in the dance club as well — helps with her choreo for routines too so

oH also prob still hurts herself by overworking, especially after That Lost Opportunity, i hate

ok idk what else to say rn, accept this pls

KDFJGSKFL uh, let’s end it there. if anyone wants to plot, im me !! ( ps, if you prefer d*scord like yours truly, just ask for it or send me yours ! )

[lilietsblog]

LETS GO MIRAI NIKKI LIVEBLOG THIS TIME HOPEFULLY WITH SCREENSHOTS

(update: nope didnt work. guess i do have to save the pics separately and not just copy-paste them into an rtf o well)

last time on: is Gasai trying to kill them??? i have no idea last time she was onscreen they (she and Yukki) were drinking soda from the vending machine????

I LOVE AKISE AND HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS SO MUCH like theres the normal guy freaking out and then theres this beautiful white haired disaster

meanwhile I think Yuno is??? roleplaying??? like she counts on him being non-responsive to play out her fantasy of being a caring housewife? anyway yeah she's done this offscreen huh. that was a jarring transition

AND SUDDENLY OPENING its somehow SUDDEN every time and I admire that man I love this opening so much and I cant take a single screenshot reflecting how awesome it is because the entire Thing is constant movement so hey Akise whatcha thinking man I love just the CONTRAST Akise:

Other people:

what is it with me and characters who never show their emotions on their face or in their voice but act exclusively based on them??? like theres this very specific anime trope of a white haired character who is stoic as fuck but instead of making rational decisions motivated by human people logic they do 100% self-destructive things based on curiosity / love / sense of duty / whatever the fuck else and in the end they appear to be missing precisely one emotion and that's self-preservation (yes self preservation is totally an emotion look it up) Akise is that exact trope and I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH meanwhile, Yuno is having trouble feeding an unconscious prisoner... what an unexpected problem that could in no way be foreseen. let me guess: she's going to try to wake him up so he can swallow his damn katsudon ah no instead Hinata intervenes. hon SHE BEAT HIM UP AND TIED HIM TO A CHAIR HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK SHE CARES IF HE WANTS KATSUDON. what made you think speaking up was a good idea here

theres a meme of 'ask someone whos not in the fandom to interpret whats going on in this picture' but you know i think random ppl would identify this situation 100% correctly +- who Hinata is to Yukki. this anime is a cultural icon "Aren't you Yukiteru's girlfriend? Can't you tell?" I love the moon logic this anime operates on, that people inside it are forced to work within. Hinata knows how to put it in the one and only way Yuno would be willing to engage with it, ha. Aaaand looks like it's less roleplaying and more delusion. oh Yuno ah she figures out how to make him open his mouth by pressing on his jaw Yuno honey maybe the police wont come after HIM but after the shit you pulled it sure as fuck will come after YOU then again according to Akise it was coming after you anyway I guess I'm morbidly curious as to exactly how Yuno is going to organize Yukki peeing >_< huh, a sock aaaand Akise goes for the win! two skulls alas I already know One Spoiler that they are her parents, and her actions Almost Kinda Make Sense in that dream logic way so I think last time we saw the bodies they were mummies? but now that's definitely skeletons. huh

okay I'll be honest this is a reaction I did not predict this anime keeps surprising me with happenings that make perfect sense in retrospect, I really respect that about it OH IS THIS THE SCENE THAT SCREENSHOT SET WAS FROM NO I THINK THAT WAS YUKKI ASKING HER but Akise what the fuck are you counting on, that she'll come murder you in person??? I doubt all three of you could overpower her in Murder Mode tbh did you see her with an axe oh right you didnt :>

OH HEY THAT'S CLEVER I like how Yuno goes between 100% self-delusion about Yukki and painful 100% sane clarity about the horrible stuff with the other option being relatively normal interactions with Yuuki, memory suppression about murders and cheerful willingness to kill anyone for Yukki I think that second option really is better for her long-term )= you two do you realize she hears you as well maybe shut up okay no not really -I- know she's thinking because of the camera movement and stuff, -they- don't aaand she laughs. i dont think anyone (other than Akise I guess) saw this coming okay yeah looks like the gamble failed. the mind-preservation instinct of retreating into delusion overpowered the more mundane concerns so that's totally ventilation up there huh. I'm not sure if the gas plan will work for her huh so hum moment of truth WILL Akise send the email to the police or was that just a threat? (orrr the police might know already? he might have told That Nice Cop Guy about it) awww Kousaka's dying message is kinda cute

kinda superfluous - the police already know who they're looking for - but nice AHAHAHA POST LIMIT THAT'S KINDA HILARIOUS THAT'S WHY EVERYONE ELSE JUST USED THE MEMO FUNCTION ah no the rank increased fair enough wait what????? what the fuck @ Deus ah okay to clarify: what the fuck @ 8th well hey it worked out! I still quesiton a ventilation duct in a gassing room but hey I guess there was a lot of gas and Yuno didn't see a reason to conserve it and Kousaka's question is of course why the fuck is Yuno in her underwear. I mean... fair enough, I'm kinda curious too omfg

HELLO POLICE I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER oh right... bad joke anyway I like how camera doesn't play along with Kousaka, while he's saying he's the ultimate weapon he's literally blocked by Yuno's head. we know who the main character is oh hey Yukki is coming to his senses! but can't talk huh right I figured it'd be the soda

*whaps with newspaper* NO NO BAD YUNO STOP THAT (she's drawn so prettily tho damn <3)

oh my sweet summer child you don't know the rules of this game AT ALL hum and the girls can't escape the same way he did because they aren't tall enough dude she's gone up against like five diary owners already and came up on top every time you don't know who you're challenging

huh she actually agrees to play the game wonder if that's genuine or if she has a plan like, I can imagine she's just been pulled into the situation and the role of the big bad setting up traps enough to enjoy toying with people and not just getting her way at the very least she hasn't axe-murdered him... or Hinata for that matter... yet

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED it definitely wasn't just one event tho. Yuno doesn't act like someone who used to be a normal healthy kid in a supportive environment until One Bad Thing Happened and took their entire world. No, Yuno is acting like someone who'd built up the dissociation/delusion defense mechanisms over a long, long time, like, say, a victim of abuse who finally snapped and then didnt find a way to snap back I just wanna knooooow

OH MY GOD SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE HAS A PLAN IS IT NECROMANCY IS SHE GONNA DRESS UP YUKKI AND HINATA AS HER PARENTS WHAT THE FUCK hum what did Yukki realize that's not a key is it?

IT ACTUALLY WORKED I CAN'T BELIEVE aaand

yeah at least she didn't kill him... immediately hum

Hinata and Yukki are both tied up so I'm not sure what they can do together behind Yuno's back but I know a foreshadowing shot when I see one for all that this anime keeps genuinely surprising me with twists, it does take care to make the events easy to follow, and I like that this is Quality Storytelling

yeah but it would have shown a Dead End, right??? or does it not work like that because it's like a 'secondary' diary, an offshoot of the 8th??? I wonder

AHAHHA sorry Yuno you're used to being up against diary owners, but so is Yukki, and he's been growing more competent at this too

NICE and she'd given him his own diary -> ???? brilliant decision but seriously if Hinata did something to Yukki wouldn't that be predicted orrr I guess Yukki's actions were actions of a diary owner so when he made a new decision based on his diary (again, brilliant decision) it changed he prediction ooooohhh she kicked the key that wasn't doing anything to Yukki in itself, it just enabled Yukki to act, which, again, the actions of a diary owner three diary owners????? please tell me that's Akise and Mao and oh right Kousaka was the third one the math doesn't add up :x I think the three diary owners would be able to find them bc of Kousaka's Diary and that's the 8th's plan

this must look so utterly surreal from the side

Yuno? You're not going to drug me and tie me up and try to kill my friends, are you? This girl seriously needs to learn how normal relationships work and I Yearn to learn what the fuck fucked her up like that.

BAD MOVE YUNO HE ALREADY TRIED THAT THIS IS THE RESULT

congrats Yuno you Fucked That Up

sorry but... yeah. you deserve this

???? someone in the cast lives in an orphanage??? I'm calling Akise in that case

oh nm it's something else huh

ah that's what it was oh Kousaka everything about you was a bad idea ...

... what

it really, really fucking isn't Yukki acted on information he had, and made the best decisions he had available. but he can't control other people's actions

...are these... the apprentice diary owners? how does the system work, anyway? how does the 8th send them after anyone? Kousaka has no clue...

uh was the dramatic slo mo effect in-universe too??? they were kind of racing on opposite lanes that couldn't have taken more than like. two seconds

see that's not wrong but. you really need to up your girlfriend game dammit im just rooting for Yuno in all this. you go girl. you fight your inner demons and figure out a happy ending for yourself damn that felt like a really long episode. probably because of the screenshots here's a proposition of a new function for the tumblr staff: uploading .rtf files automatically, splitting into several posts if they are too big. thats the kind of convenience the social media is supposed to offer, right? oh hey Murmur's diary! third installment of the You Saved Me series

beautiful

you naive fucking child oh my god Murmur

MURMUR NO

so was this, like, a dream or something? hum interesting

[obsidianmichi]

HELLO!! ohmahgad im so giddy im disgusting. Am I disgusting? Definitely disgusting! Hahahahahahaha. Okay I'm sorry. I just can't help myself. So I just want to ask about Dirthamen and Eirwen is that okay? okay! 1. uh oh so in my headcanon both of them frequently doing intimacy you know *cough sex cough* does that make Eirwen pregnant? 2. its a spoiler for The Lady in Blue and White, um i want to ask bout vallaslin, dirthan said about marriage? what do you mean by that?

ITS ME MARIO! err i mean me. hehe the continued ask 3. does the vallaslin illicite some kind of pleasure? like dragon age version of vibrator thingy. lmao.  4. and this is stupid but i want to ask your opinion about these song and if they’re kinda related to their relationship? Dangerously - charlie puth, Treat you better - shawn mendes and Feels - calvin harris 5. the last question! Does Dirthan get obsessive/have obsession towards Eirwen?  thanks for answering and sorry for weird grammar :’)            

I’m actually kind of glad you’re so into the pairing. So, to answer your questions.

1) There are no plans for an Eirwen pregnancy at present, but who knows.

2)Vallaslin in The Lady in Blue and White:

I’ve gone back and forth about how I headcanoned this working in Arlathan, and I finally settled on there being a bunch of different vallaslin versions. The traditional ancient elvhen vallaslin works like a patron/protector relationship as a system for energy transfer. This can be Master/Servant, Lord/Knight, but the way it worked on the whole in Arlathan is as a patronage system. They join the rank and file of a lord, the lord acts as the receptacle, and then shares their strength back to their followers thus strengthening them beyond what they’d be able to achieve on their own.

Like all immortals, age plays a huge factor in Arlathan about who is at the top. The society had little to no upward mobility since those at the top never die except by non-natural factors and there was no real meritocracy. There were those who distinguished themselves, but it was incredibly difficult when management had a few 1,000 years on them.

However, every system has an initial stage. The elves were once spirits who transitioned into the bodies they now have. Blood magic seems to be a natural counter to that of the Fade, serving to aid in tying a spirit to the physical plane as they adjusted. The vallaslin Dirthamen put on for Eirwen is very similar to that original version, he understood the patron/client relationship between them wouldn’t be acceptable unless it was reversed. So, he intended to take on a role closer to advisor and siphon off the strength she couldn’t control as a way of quickly regaining the strength he’d lost. He also did it to save her life. He saw it as a way to even out the power imbalance by putting himself in a vulnerable position. He could’ve forced her to work with him but he decided against it. He’d rather give her a reason to trust him. He went with the tightest, strongest bond he could think of. He wasn’t trying to strike up a sexual relationship.

That’s not what he got.

He remarks on it being like marriage because in some ways it is, their mystical energies are bonded. They intermingle, forged in an unbreakable partnership that exists between the Evanuris and their oldest, closest seconds. However, because he’s also Evanuris, it becomes a bond similar to marriage (though not marriage the way we think of it, more like an arranged marriage. A formalized agreement between two people about X, who’ve bonded their magical energies in order to jointly strengthen themselves.) And now, suddenly, they must deal with a sudden closeness neither of them were prepared for.

On a basic level, Dirthamen’s vallaslin acts as a symbol of the union between the modern elves and the elvhen.

Dirth meant well. He also knows what the vallaslin means to him and to her are different, so what binds one way doesn’t necessarily bind the other. Eirwen gets to make her own decisions about how she sees their relationship.

3) Vallaslin in Sex

Vallaslin is a direct, magical blood link between two people. So, yeah, it can be used for pleasure and in a myriad of different ways.

4) Deirwen songs:

Deirwen is incredibly fluffy, so here’s some songs from their playlist.

Ever The Same - Rob Thomas, I Think We’d Feel Good Together - Rob Thomas, Heaven Help Me - Rob Thomas, Taking On the World Today - O.A.R., Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows, Untouched - The Veronicas, Just Say Yes - Snow Patrol, The Safest Place - LeAnne Rimes, The Stranger - O.A.R, Disarm You - Kaskade, Hang On -  Plumb. Steal Your Heart - BRKLYN, Did I Say That Out Loud? - Barenaked Ladies.

World Like That - O.A.R. is Eirwen’s personal theme, really. She’s had a lot, but that one’s stuck. She picks up Scream It Out - Ellie Goulding, and Wake the Giant - Tommy Trash, and Fight Song - Rachel Platten. Oh, and The Last Unicorn - America. (If that doesn’t make you worried, it should.)

The irony is most of the songs for Eirwen to Solas like Strange Sight by KT Tunstall work for Dirthamen except it’s in reverse. He’s the one stretching out his hand and pulling her out of the dark, offering her the acceptance she’s been looking for and doesn’t know what to do with. Thematically, he’s there offering her the home she offered to Solas.

Dangerously by Charlie Puth and I Can Love You Better by Shawn Mendes are ironically great picks for… dun, dun, dun SPOILERS… Falon’din… shh. (Also Think Twice by Eve6.) I initially envisioned him as the charismatic version of the fandom’s Dark Fen’Harel so he is territorial, obsessive, possessive, boundary pushing, and… lots of other things.

5) Is Dirthamen obsessive or get obsessive about Eirwen?

No, Dirthamen is not obsessive. He is protective, devoted, dedicated, and above all: patient. He’s willing to take what he’s given. He’s in no hurry. He’s an immortal, one of the eldest of the Evanuris. One concept he grasps better than any other is time. For him, relationships are not static. What one feels one century could be very different in the next. Eirwen may love Fen’Harel now and have residual feelings, but she won’t forever. She’s going to change, grow into herself, and may come around to see him as a good alternative. She also may not. Dirthamen understands, perhaps better than the others, that there are many different kinds of love. Their partnership isn’t reliant on a sexual bond, though that bond is nice.

He isn’t is possessive, or insecure, his willingness to put on the vallaslin for her was a sign of his willingness to give up control. He’s able to set aside his ego and his pride for what is necessary, because he knows who he is. Whether he wears vallaslin or not, it doesn’t change who he is or where he’s been. He’s willing to let her sort out the speed at which she wants their relationship to move, and be there as an advisor, counselor, or moral support.

He doesn’t see himself in competition with Solas, because he doesn’t need to be. There’s room in her life for both of them, really. He’s overseen and experienced a parade of ever changing relationships between himself and his siblings. Falon’din has been linked to Andruil, and countless others. Fen’Harel has been linked to Andruil. Andruil has been linked to Ghilnan’nain, Dirthamen has been linked to (though never in a serious relationship with) both Ghilnan’nain and Sylaise. Sylaise is also with June. His approach to relationships between immortals is that they’re fluid, and sometimes it’s necessary to take breaks. For him, real love is about who we return to and not who we sleep with.

He’ll probably end up worrying more about the way Solas affects her mental health and the fallout of their past relationship than he will Solas himself.

He has his dark side and he is ruthless, but he isn’t proprietary and feels no sense of ownership. He gives what he wants to give, and expects no reciprocation. She’s free to give him what she can, that’s enough.

There are those who make him feel insecure (*cough* Falon’din *cough*), and those he’s actively concerned about (*cough* Sylaise *cough*) should they ever find out. On the whole though, he doesn’t see Solas as a competitor. A screw up worthy of pity, maybe. He will not compete with a ghost, or place himself at the disadvantage of time. The new provides opportunity, he’ll focus on differentiating himself and building a relationship between them that isn’t reliant on Solas’ shadow.

See her in danger though or under threat, and you’ll see his knives come out. One thing you don’t ever do is hurt the bae. If he’s got a bone to pick with Solas, it’s that. Funny to say, maybe, but he’s disappointed in Solas.

He expected better.

I hope that answers your questions.

Thanks for asking!

[lakethread48-blog]

Jabari Back in Rotation As Bulls Beaten By Lakers

Is it time for a change after the Bulls eighth consecutive loss, this time 107-100 Tuesday to the Los Angeles Lakers? Perhaps a change of pace; certainly a change of heart. Because the Bulls clearly have to change their ways, which would be a welcome change.

“I‘ve thought about it,” said Bulls coach Jim Boylen when asked about the starting five sagging late in the game once again. “I think it’s a good point. We put our starters back in Utah and the lead got built up and tonight I thought we did (again).”

So Jabari Parker to the starting lineup?

Never say never in this Bulls season. Especially since the previously banished Parker not only returned to the playing rotation in what Boylen said is not temporary, but Parker led six Bulls in double figures with 18 points on seven of 10 shooting. The recent outcast then inspired a group of Bulls irregulars to the team’s best run of the game in the last three minutes when the Bulls cut a 17-point deficit to five and even denied the devastated home crowd free tacos with 19 points in the last 2:31.

“It’s a blessing to be out there on the court again,” said Parker, whose media sessions even have turned somewhat expansive. “I just have to remember this is the game that I love and all the distractions go out the roof when I step on the floor. Getting these opportunities was obviously something I like and I was just trying to make the right play. It’s the same way I’ve been playing when I was playing before; no change. Just who I am.”

Just who these Bulls are remains a much larger question.

Lauri Markkanen added 17 points, but it again was a struggle with tough shooting chances and six of 14 shooting. He was part of that starting group that was subbed out late before the team’s best play of the game.

“I haven’t thought about it like that,” Markkanen said when asked whether he expects lineup changes. “We’re just going out there and playing as hard as we can. If that’s what the coach wants to have, then we go from there. We’re trying as hard as we can, and if it’s not working it’s up to him. Today it was was one period. We were up (four, early in the third quarter) and a minute later they were up 10. A couple of mistakes in transition. We didn’t talk and didn’t rebound the ball; they got second shots. I don’t know what it is, but we have to fix it.”

In that early third quarter stretch, actually one of two long droughts with the second early in the fourth quarter, Boylen took out Kris Dunn, apparently for passing on open shots.

Dunn had a brutal game with a team high minus-25 plus minus with six points. Ryan Arcidiacono had 12 points and a team best plus-17 with Chandler Hutchison also scoring 12 points. Shaquille Harrison and Zach LaVine each had 10 points and LaVine had a team high eight assists.

“I thought he needed a break,” Boylen said about Dunn. “The shot clock violations (two in four possessions with two other turnovers, one by Dunn) were frustrating because you have to shoot the ball. You have to get the ball on the rim. You never know what will happen. Sometimes we are hesitant to take a shot in the rhythm of the offense. With four seconds to go you can’t throw it to your 19-year-old rookie center and expect him to do something.”

There wasn’t enough done by the Bulls, except for the usual good moments. Just not enough of them, also as usual.

“Again, I thought we played maybe about 28 to 35 minutes of good basketball and 12 to 15 minutes of not good basketball,” said Boylen. “And we don’t have enough fire power to be able to just turn it on and take over the game. So we just have to plod through it and get the lead and hang onto to the lead and we didn’t do that.”

Hutchison was an early bright spot back home in Southern California with his second consecutive game scoring in double figures. Hutchison had just two such games previously all season.

“I knew that playing and being out there and learning to play with these guys out there, I felt it was only a matter of time before I got more comfortable,” said the rangy 6-7 forward. “Today I just wanted to be aggressive. They are starting to trust me more and being aggressive offensively. So I just wanted to do that.”

With Hutchison scoring in three consecutive possessions midway through the first quarter, the third on a slashing dunk on a Wendell Carter Jr. pass, the Bulls trailed 19-18 after the first quarter.

The Lakers were again playing without the injured LeBron James and slumping, coming off a home loss to the Cavaliers and losers of seven of their last 10, including also to the Knicks at home. The jackals were eying the job of coach Luke Walton with another loss. But the Lakers went to 24-21 while the Bulls fell to 10-34 and second poorest record in the league.

“Just comes down to us being (upset enough) about it and finding a way,” said Hutchison. “You can blame this and that, but it’s going to be up to us to figure it out.”

One guy who is having continued trouble figuring it out is Markkanen. The seven footer who was a prodigy last season had a burst of life in the third quarter with a pair of driving scores and a tough jumper to get the Bulls within 66-62 after a run of Lonzo Ball scores enabled the Lakers to break from a 44-43 halftime lead. Ball scored 13 of his team high 19 points in the third quarter with three of four threes. Which is a hint you have problems when Lonzo Ball is outshooting Markkanen.

Markkanen has scored more than 18 points just once in the last 10 games, seemingly struggling with a more deliberate offense and more difficult shots. He never complains and always says he has to work harder. But his play, so exciting a year ago, often appears to lack the joie de vivre common previously,

“Just trying to go to the next game and fix this and go day by day,” Markkanen said evenly. “That’s the only way we can fix this, practice and work hard. It’s not fun to lose. It’s a part of it. We are just trying to get out of it as quickly as possible. The good part of the NBA is you play almost every night. Have a bad game, just restart and go back at it again. That’s what we have to do.

“It’s a fact I was playing better in December,” Markkanen admitted even as he was just returning from 10 weeks out with an elbow injury. “There are different coverages they are throwing at me. Then, of course, sometimes someone else is feeling it and I am not. I’m trying to get back to that. I just try to read the defense when I have the shot. Standing still is hard to get anything from it. I’m just trying to be a compete player and try to do a little bit of everything.”

Like, you know, Jabari Parker.

Parker was effectively removed from the playing rotation after playing four minutes in the game in Mexico City. He didn’t play the next nine games even in blowouts, played 14 minutes against the Pacers Jan. 4, and then not again for three games until scoring 11 points in 19 minutes in the loss to Utah Saturday.

Then before Tuesday’s game, Boylen said Parker was back in the playing rotation, and against the Lakers Parker was the best player on the floor for the Bulls with 18 points in 17 minutes with two of four threes and a pair of steals.

It appears the 6-8 Parker is back to playing regularly again as he did earlier in the season as the major free agent signing of the summer; a trade still remains possible. Parker says he’s just glad to be back on the floor, though he said he never really was told why he wasn’t playing. But he said he’s again ready to move forward. That was apparent when he came into the game to open the second quarter and immediately made a driving slam dunk and a three pointer.

Tuesday’s game got away from the Bulls after Parker was dominating the start of the fourth quarter. He was fouled and made a pair of free throws, hit Wayne Selden with a snappy pass on the run for a score and then picked up a loose ball between three Lakers for a slam dunk to bring the Bulls within 80-76 with 9:32 left. The Bulls then went five minutes without a point as the Lakers scored 14 straight for a 94-76 lead. That bench group with Parker scoring 11 fourth quarter points, Arcidiacono, Hutchison, Cristiano Felicio and Shaquille Harrison hustled their way back to at least forcing the Lakers to reinsert three starters in the last two minutes. The Lakers offer fans free tacos for winning and holding the opponent under 100 points. So the Bulls scored on nine straight possessions in the last 2:46 to get to 100, denying the fans who pay an average of $445 per seat those two tacos that go for 99 cents.

Hey, it’s California. And it was raining. They were not happy.

“Just communicate with me; that’s what the struggle has been so far,” said Parker. “I don’t know what’s going on. I (feel I) bring a lot of aspects to the game. I don’t bring just one dimension. I can play any position, so position is not the excuse.

“But just to get my name called out there is a privilege,” Parker acknowldged. I’ll just say this, when you experience certain things and you see certain things happen to you, I think it’s rare for you to have those same type of feelings (you had before). It’s kind of hard, especially when people are indirect with you. But right now it’s just about me and what I can do to help this team. I’m focusing on my growth, how I can get better. Anybody in any situation if they have been dealt some bitterness, I don’t think it’s necessarily going to be the same, so that’s all I am going to say about that.

“I know what I can do; I am the same guy,” said Parker. “Every time when I go out there it’s going to be the same thing, be solid, play smart and see how it goes. (For us now), it’s just stay with it, keep on trusting each other, keep on boosting each other’s confidence. That’s what’s going to help us. Play for one another, and just the things we have already. We just have to sharpen them and we’re going to do that.

“I know who I am and confidence has never been a problem for me,” said Parker, who only last February returned from his second ACL knee surgery. “Just want to continue to do what I know I am capable of. Just have to remind myself that I am still fortunate. I am not hurt and I am still able to get on the court. That kind of perspective goes a long way for where I’ve been in my life. That’s behind me; that’s in the past. But it’s something I also have to keep in the back of my mind, to count my blessings. It beats being on the couch for three months.”

Time for the Bulls to start getting in the game as well and making it a change for the better.

Source: https://www.nba.com/bulls/gameday/jabari-back-rotation-bulls-beaten-lakers

[dog-suffrage-advocate]

You know that feeling that once you start to learn more about something, you think you’re getting worse because you realize how little you actually knew? Yeah, I’m feeling that.