#like i'm publishing an article
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Trying to figure out the difference between "this feeling of general apathy about work will pass" and "this feeling of general apathy about work won't pass"
#it's like. i'm not FEELING when I think about my field#i'm not FEELING when I teach -- even though I'm still fighting for my undergrads as best as possible#I don't feel anything about the conferences over the horizon for me...or the papers that I have to write for them#i haven't even booked my plane tickets and accommodations...partially because that'd mean they're real#i have a deadline coming up for an article I was excited to publish -- I barely want to touch it#and it's like...I *know* I love my field#...so why don't I *now*?#i don't want to work on my prospectus...even though I've wanted nothing else for three years#...is it just TOO MUCH at once or too little stimulation without classwork#or am i just. tired.#and has this been the natural conclusion of the last three years
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Oh no, I am most certainly not reading the new 52 run for Jaime. Everything I've seen and heard about it sounds like straight ass and edge and I actually like myself.
True I'm having a terrible time with Jaime's Rebirth runs cause it's all just kinda bad as far as I'm concerned compared to how well done the 2006 run was. And there's so many decisions that come off as bad or poorly thought out. But at least it's not 'what if we rehashed this entirely but several times worse just because we're edgy now'.
Like the Graduation Day/Scarab War stuff feels like a first draft that could have used a second and third draft b4 going to print what with the 'yer retreading territory that was already done pretty solid in a way that feels vaguely insulting' vibes. And I didn't like the art style what with the weird shit it was doing with people's mouths/expressions and how distractingly shiny it was trying to be.
Also, I'm currently like 12 issues deep into the 2016 run for Jaime and it's really bad. Like? The art? Shit tier. Whitewashing half these people, many don't look like the people they're supposed to be, and somehow the worst attempt at drawing a person with freckles I've ever seen. The writing? Ass tier. Like damn yall did Dan dirty. Dirty dirty, good lords, giving the vibes of gotta rush through these fuckers to get to the version of the Blue Beetle we wanna work with in a way that feels disrespectful to ALL of the Blue Beetles. And the whole 'let's retcon Khaji Da back to being magic even tho there's two previous runs of it being alien tech oh wait oops we wanna do a Reach storyline so we'll retcon it back to being alien tech later' is... certainly something.
I know that when I pick up a Blue Beetle book I wanna see fuckin Dr. Fate (I don't, I don't care for Dr. Fate's whole thing of enslaving its host for the greater good and no one freeing poor Mr. Nelson gods damn that's horrifying how many heroes are ok with that) and an Atleantian and magic shit for like 8 issues without any of Jaime's rogue gallery showing up other than a bastard version of the Posse that feels like canon fodder based on their designs alone. (/sarcasm)
#nix meows#nix reads comics#blue beetle#blue beetle 2016#blue beetle rebirth#jaime reyes#this is why i dont really read dc/marvel comics like that#aside from i'm not going to crossrefrence fucking events with other runs cause fuckers felt like doing crossovers#but just the fucking retcons and frequent changes in art styles#and just a lot of dc/marvel comics are just poorly written and drawn#like i've seen so much bad art that i'm astounded that went through at least 4 people and still got published#and plots that just dont care to establish shit in the current run and just arrogantly assume everyone knows everything#or that we can even look shit up given fuckin how many articles find when I try are just stubs or clearly outdated
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everything in this article is so real. i'm too tired rn to get into the weeds on depiction vs celebration but i do think s.rooney's works have been kind of a very accurate depiction of just how conservative rising 20 & 30 somethings are with gender politics- the extent to which she herself realizes it or does not remaining an open ending question. the argument of course goes this is depiction rather than celebration but it is an interesting image with the legwork rooney's given herself and gotten herself as a specifically left wing and marxist novelist, and how that is reflected (or isn't) in her works
#also i'm very biased here with her refusing to publish in hebrew but w/ever#the author of this article pointing out that there are always the Good Guys in rooney's stuff. yeah#always getting an out for exploring gender and misogyny cause HEY some of the guys they are good#literature#i'm not a rooney disliker but i've also thougth her work wasn't nearly as good as the space it's been given#ironically maybe it's the perfectly palatable level of intellectualism - not too difficult and the meaningful stuff Obvious#reading for the age that. doesn't like to read#which is not to say it's BAD but it's interesting the level of international fangirling and adoration it#s received. anyway
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People hate on athletes in other sports for no goddamn reason all the time and no one says a word about that but suddenly gym fans want to and it's like the fucking sky is falling
#like during the superbowl i'm sure people were rooting for the chiefs to miss their kick or something!#i think there is a line of course but just posting on your random tumblr blog that you hope someone falls on beam is not crossing it#do you guys remember that article that got published around the tokyo olympics about how mean gym fans are#meanwhile the same behaviour wouldn't even raise an eyebrow in other sports
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killing and biting and killing and biting
#I swear to god i want to die right now. I write for the opinion section of my school newspaper#and this guy comes in and goes 'i want to write a pro life article and an article on the republican abortion strategy'#and i jump in like “great and i'll write the pro choice one” WHY DID I SAY THAT#like yes im pro choice and yes im passionate about it. but now we're doing a pro con. i can't do that#i can't do that. i can't handle it because last time we did one of those both sides received death threats#and like everyone else there is pro choice except for that fucker but i'm the only ONLY afab person in the room.#which is bad enough as it is but they were just staring at me and i. i feel so humiliated#i want to back out but i can't just let the kid publish his piece without a rebuttal#abortion is a topic i'm passionate about. but also one i'm emotional about. guys a secret. my birth was scuffed. My mom was in so much pain#and was left with injuries that made her cancer treatment more difficult#and i just get so upset that my life and the life of every pregnant person means less to people than a clump of cells#'but it's a baby' it's a parasite. it's a clump of cells. I don't care if it has a heartbeat. I don't care. I have friends-#i have family. i have people that love me and i have things that I do that people rely on. I matter#'but what if the baby cures cancer' WHAT IF I DO. WHAT IF I DO.#I so want to back out i'm crying writing this but. I can't do it. i can't just let that fucker get his way.#he's also transphobic and homophobic btw. unsurprising but still.
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people always ask me how am I able to write so fast and well when I do research and in my head I'm like it's because I spend hours writing fanfic for my little kpop boys ASDFASDF
#I'm currently in bed writing this summary for an article that is going to be published soon#and I finished my part of it really quickly and everyone on my team was like 0-0 how the heck do you do that so fast#literally i've been writing fanfic since i was 18 and consuming it since i was like 15 trust when i say these writing skills have been hone#and trained for many years#see writing fanfic does have its benefits LOL#daisy talks
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Every International Women's Day, you will find that progressive publications publish their manditory IWD article about how we should focus more on women in the global south and yet we can't because upper class white women have their pink cupcakes and their CEO jobs exploiting the working woman by being customers and crying about Barbie not getting an Oscar nomination. I always read it and think....I have really good news for you, journalist writing this, about what you could do with the article you're being paid to write!!
#IWD#honestly where is the sport in these tired rhetorical touchstones-pink cupcakes or pussy hats- it's tired#and fyi everyone i saw talking about the barbie movie oscars thing was clearly not being fully serious/serious at all#i am not clear how wealthy women in particular are exploiting people by being customers-#IWD isn't a public holiday that the low paid still have to work#anyway look class disparity is really important to talk about and CEOs as a concept are not value neutral#but women being CEOs not just men is value neutral- as in it's not worse when women do it#i just get tired of the same point being made every year and them never doing the thing they could be doing- spotlight global south women#i really feel strongly that people only like doing this if they can make snarky tweetable points- for it's own sake it's nothing to them#if you read the guardian's IWD article i'm sure my examples seem very familiar!#I recommend 'feminism and nationalism in the third world' by kumari jayawardena#it covers the history of activism thought and gendered struggle of women in specific asian and middle eastern countries#it's a dense and very factual read- definitely not a snarky tweets book#though my edition has a foreword addressed to western feminists that's the only area it even slightly overlaps with that kind of book#oh yeah forgot to say it only goes up to the 1980s (was originally published in '86)#but it's sooo interesting to see the tension between nationalism and anticolonialism and women's liberation laid out#and how the different classes of women experienced it differently
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one of the best compliments i've ever gotten from someone about my academic writing is "Reading your work makes me feel really smart, like, wow! I can understand this really intelligent argument!" and it makes me so emotional because I don't think good writing should ever make you feel stupid. Like, sometimes writing is hard to parse because the concepts are difficult, and that's fine! But you should never feel like someone's writing is talking down to you, and I'm really proud that I was able to accomplish that :(
#this is about my journal article#if it gets published i can't promise i won't dox myself to share it here like i'm SO proud of it
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Having been on several fanfic sites for several years, I can hands down GUARANTEE you that anything 'classic media' has done, fanfic has done better.
#This is not hyperbole I am 100% serious#“I wish there was a book or show where *insert thing that happened in a fanfic I read at midnight*”#Anything. Anything from weird puns to comprehensive and in depth analyses of the human condition#I see people gushing about the 'groundbreaking ideas' and 'awesome concepts' they read about and I'm just like#Do you want that with a dash of gay found family hurt/comfort or a heaping of misogyny#Once I read some shmancy prim article discussing the use of themes in some famous classical text I'd read and like.#Off the top of my head I listed three fics that had done it without the unexpected and unappreciated assault scene partway through the book#At least fic authors TAG#Ao3s filter system and the increasing lack of blurbs on books has ruined me for normal reading activities#I get a book for Christmas or something and I look at it and there are no archive warnings or desc or additional tags#No word count chapter count nothing#Anyway this is about how fanfic is a superior media to the competitive publishing industry of today and if a fic makes enough readers cry#It should get automatically added to the literary canon#Makes one feel more emotion than I did with the school assigned reading and there's SIGNIFICANTLY LESS chance of untagged 18+ stuff#ao3#Long tags#I did my final project of the concept of the literary Canon and its requirements and LET ME TELL YOU#Fanfic absolutely counts the higher ups are just cowards#'this book is a literary masterpiece it breaks down the human understanding of the future and our capabilities of distinguishing reality#From fiction and how one might develop detrimental coping mechanisms to handle it that leads to almost self destructive behaviour due to a#Self enforced blindness that renders one an outsider in their own life and by the way its all a metaphor for the oversaturation of media#Accessible at a young age leading to Youths Of Today absorbing negative traits unrelated to their environment through escapism '#Great I can list ten self insert fanfics with that exact premise I can just read them for free#And I can guarantee no racism or Victorian era style sexism
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Today's fanfic writing adventures: reading adademic articles on human sacrifice in Gaul written in French, because dictionaries of mythology all include some weirdly specific details about how the sacrifices were carried out that I couldn't find an actual source for, and this french guy seems to be The leading expert.
I do not speak French
But that's okay, because he cites most of the authors he's drawing from in the original latin, rather than translating them
I also do not speak Latin
But after a couple of hours with translation software and vague memories of my french gcse (which included very few, if any, words relating to human sacrifice or pre-christian pagan religion) I can now confirm...
the article also doesn't cite an actual fucking source for this
#fanfic writing#writer problems#it doesn't even matter#i'm playing fast and loose with the mythology anyway#i just want to know where it comes from!#for context gcse means age 16#which was exactly half my lifetime ago#and i haven't used any french since#beyond sil vois plait and merci when i've been on holiday#the only only of the article i could find was pdfs of a scan of the pages of the journal it was published in#so i couldn't even copy and paste#i've just been typing it out into google translate#and then doing a vibe check on whether the results make sense in context#if i'd found something that looked like the bit i needed i would have used something better than google translate don't worry#this was just to try and narrow down the search field
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Not me almost crying over an email. I just want a damn article but I don't wanna pay for it please please just let me read it I promise I'll cite it correctly please please I don't wanna send this email to this random german professor like my brother in Christ why are you charging me $20 to read a 30 pages ebook on the fucking greenhouse effect this is fucked this so fucked I hate everything I'm gonna send this goddamn email and then murder every single publisher on the face of earth
#wips rambles!#I'm fine#this is fine#I hate publishers#WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PAY T W E N T Y DOLLARS#SIR THIS SHOULD BE AVAILABLE FOR FREE THIS IS A FUCKING SCIENTIFIC ARTICLE LIKE BE FUCKING FOR REAL WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME#I HAVE NO MONEY P L E A S E I JUST TO USE THIS DAMN ARTICLE#everything is fine and beautiful
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Must my writing resume be "professional" and "optimized"
Is it not enough to say "am write goblin, trade money for words"
#I'm starting a blog specifically to showcase my writing abilities#in a professional capacity#and good christ#despise how fake it sounds#but EVERY job is like#omg you need SEO experience or you're worthless#or#if you don't have so many published articles#you're worthless#i AM good at these things#i DO have a proven track record#its just not acceptable to say#hey i do a lot of fanfiction projects#in a semi-professional capacity#the skills are directly transferable#the smut is not
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Hi, I saw your most recent post about not feeling great about your writing and I can't express how quickly I jumped to arms to defend your writing. Just wanted to let you know that I've been binge reading all of your CSM works on AO3 for the last couple of days. Your characterization and found family basically defines my standard for good CSM fanfiction. I understand the doubt that worms its way in, and if you need, please take any break you need. You have such an amazing depository of pre-existing writing that validates you. I personally am going to enjoy going back and re-reading them as many times as I need to get that amazing found family fix. Thank you for putting your work out into the world!
Thank you! <3 I've been having a pretty difficult morning, and hearing that means a lot. I was stressing over if I could ever get published, or if my writing is stuff that people would only be willing to read if it's free, and it's just... a lot.
I'm not planning on taking a break any time soon though! I'm not updating until I finish another chapter, but the next chapter of A Beautiful Star is complete (which, that fic is getting bumped up to 8 chapters) and I'm 1k into the next chapter of At The End of the River. Neither are very exciting chapters in my opinion, but I hope people like them regardless.
#answered#i've also admittedly been getting rejected from a lot of zines lately#and it's combined with my worries over publishing to make me feel shitty#like i'm glad people like my fics#but would anyone read my work if they had to pay for it#could i ever write professionally#i mean i've published articles and gotten a good deal of money for it#but what about fiction?#right now i'm feeling like people only like my stuff if it's free#and it makes me feel bad about my hopes of getting published#thank you for the ask though <3#sincerely. it means a lot
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A while back a coworker of mine got promoted to a manager position, and I got promoted to his old position. Back when he had this job he was always super busy, he was swamped with work every single day, but now that I've been doing this job for several months, most of my work days have been pretty chill
For a while I wondered why? How? But after watching him work, after attending several team meetings lead by him I've realized that he's just a really fucking slow worker. He gets stuck on details that don't really matter, he goes over things several times when everyone else is ready to move on to the next topic and he rambles on and on about things that don't really matter
I don't wanna say that I'm a better worker than he is, buuuuuuut the quality of our work is on the same level and I get things done 10 times faster so..... 🤷��️
#personal#im just using tumblr as my diary#I'm annoyed because a project I'm leading is fucking ready to be published EXCEPT!! its missing an article that my boss has been working on#I've had everything ready to go for like a week now#the deadline is TOMORROW and he's still not done with the very short article he had to write#I am... how do you say.... seething with rage
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Important additional context for the article:
#covid-19#it's a bullshit study is what I'm saying#'most people remained resilient' in the group you were studying? i mean probably#but why did you choose to study only adults with no underlying health conditions is my fucking question#BBC also choosing a misleading headline - nothing new but disappointing anyway#and if you read the peer review section of the study you'll see the author repeatedly getting told to tone down their conclusions#'Editors think it is too early to draw such a decisive bold and causal interpretation of the findings from your review.'#they also tried to get the article published already in May 2021 when they were shot down for hasty conclusions the first time#it just kinda seems like they had a motive going in
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So B M. Is Cron's reinterpretation of Berwick in Margaret of Anjou and the Lancaster March on London, 1461 incorrect?
Okay, I sourced my answer on Berwick from B. M. Cron's more recent Margaret of Anjou and the Men Around Her (History and Heritage Publishing 2021) because you (and/or some other anon) sent me like 5 asks in less than 12 hours so I wanted to quickly answer them since I still have a whole lot of asks from a few months ago.
Cron, in her article, "Margaret of Anjou and the Lancaster March on London" argues that Berwick was not ceded to the Scots before the Second Battle of St. Albans (17 February 1461) and that it was after the Battle of Towton (29 March 1461) that was ceded. In Cron's Margaret of Anjou and the Men Around Her, she places it after both battles but does not discuss the confusion around its date. I did not know that your question was really about what Cron says about the date Margaret agreed to cede Berwick in her article so I didn't know to check the article or the dates.
In short, Cron's reinterpretation is not that Margaret never agreed to cede Berwick to the Scotts, only that she agreed to that after the Second Battle of St. Albans and the Battle of Towton, when the Lancastrian situation was desperate. It is not incorrect, it is just that I didn't know that was what you were asking about.
#i do wonder why people come to me#a random tumblr (TUMBLR) blogger who is openly NOT A HISTORIAN#and ask me to confirm or deny if a published historian is wrong or right#without telling me where they've read this factoid i'm meant to debunk for them#like i could have answered this a lot better in the first place the if the ask was#'cron in her article says this is that true' rather than 'did margaret do this?' then sending me 'but cron says this...?' like a gotcha#i do not know what you're reading! i am not so incredibly well-versed in the wotr i will automatically know what article#you're talking about or all arguments about each aspect#margaret of anjou#asks#text posts#anon
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