#like i’m fucking smart im competent i have proved it i can live on my own i AM independent

[banghwa]

genuine question how do u get over ur fear of existing

[petalsrdead]

LOVE WITHIN VILE RICHES

pairing: tobio kageyama x female reader (hinata, yachi, tsukishima, tadashi, two original female characters, and parents of both you and kageyama featured)

word count: 2,209 words

summary: your fathers are business partners, so you two have known each other forever, but have always hated and competed to see who was the best. high school graduation has come and gone, and you and tobio decide to face any feelings and hatred you have for each other one on one

warnings: 18+, smut!!, arguing, angst, swearing, bully!kageyama(kinda???), underage drinking (for americans, not those with 18+ drinking ages), kageyama is smart unlike in the manga & anime, oral (f receiving), praise kink, praising in general, some fluffy aftercare,

a/n: this is my piece for @bakugohoex ‘s rich boy collab. read everyone’s pieces here! congrats on the milestone ria! also thank you to @fallxngstarr for helping me with the title for this and beta reading! also if this seems rushed im sorry! work has been kicking my butt.

the idea of another party between your two families had your head reeling. tobio kageyama was your worst nightmare, and even though your fathers were business partners and friends since junior high, their two children couldn’t get along to save their lives. kageyama always picked on you when one of your mothers watched both of you. he pulled your hair, took your toys, ate your snacks… your mothers joked it was just a way of showing that he liked you.

as the two of you got older and went to school together, you competed academically. the two of you were born four months apart, kageyama being the eldest, so you were in the same class quite often. you both wanted to prove you could be the heirs of the business your fathers worked so hard to build, and you just had some unspoken competition with one another.

you’re both 18 now and having a joint high school graduation party. you were head of the class, tobio right behind you, so everyone was ecstatic. the party was both of your families, friends, and business partners.

it’s a hot summer day, lemonade and watermelon set out for the guests to enjoy. you smooth down your sundress and stand at the door of the kageyama’s mansion.

though your fathers are the heads of the business, kageyama’s dad is the technical ceo, and since he already came from money, it made sense that they lived where they did. kageyama’s mother greets your family at the door, pulling everyone in for hugs.

“(y/n)! you look so stunning! that dress is beautiful!” his mother beams, smiling at you.

“thank you mrs kageyama! i bought it just for today!” you run your hands down the front of it again and smile.

“tobio is in the game room if you’d like to see him.” his father says.

‘that’s not really a suggestion.’ you think to yourself, but nod and excuse yourself, heading into the game room down the hall.

you can hear him yelling, probably at hinata as you walk through the open door. he’s playing some type of combat game.

“dammit hinata! im down!” he yells, slamming his controller against his thigh.

you stand behind him as he sits on the couch and look around the space. he’s got every gaming console a boy could ever want or need, a huge tv, and an amazing surround sound system. a large sectional fills up the room with a mini fridge in the corner.

you walk towards tobio, your nerves kicking in as you step into his view.

“fuck. gotta go hinata. the bitch is here.” he mumbles and throws off his headset.

you wave and smile softly at him, trying to be friendly. “congratulations tobio… i heard about the volleyball commitment—“

“shut up. gods you’re really annoying you know that? why are you even in here? i don’t want to see your stupid face.” he huffs and stands up, walking out of the room.

your smile instantly falters, as you fall into the couch where he was sitting. you play with the hem of your dress as you try and hold back tears. memories of him pushing you off the swings or into his pool when you couldn’t swim without a life preserver surface your mind.

“why is he so mean to me…?” you whisper.

——————————————-

everyone’s family and friends finally arrive, the adults in the kitchen and on the patio drinking wine, and the kids in the pool. shoyo, yachi, tadashi, tsuki, and kageyama are swimming, splashing each other and playing cliche pool games. you’re sitting in the jacuzzi, relaxing along with two of your friends.

“do you think kei will let me suck him off tonight?” your friend chizo whispers, staring at the blonde in the pool.

you scoff. “i doubt it. he’s as much, if not more of an asshole than tobio…”

“well, i think tadashi and i have a shot before summer ends!” your other friend namiko beams.

“i can’t believe kageyama actually agreed to both of you coming over here…” you say, sliding out of the jacuzzi and sitting on the edge of it, sliding your feet back in.

“well, we are your friends and this is a joint graduation party…” chizo mumbles.

“hey guys!” yachi yells, waving and running over to the jacuzzi.

“you wanna play truth or dare and spin the bottle with the rest of us?! i didn’t think it was fair being the only girl…” she mumbles.

namiko and chizo are practically flying out of the hot tub to dry off and get dressed. you just shrug. “i guess were in.”

yachi jumps up and down and claps. “yay! okay everyone’s meeting in the game room in ten minutes, see ya!”

she runs off again, most likely into the house to go make out with hinata.

————————-

“namiko, truth or dare?” tsukishima asks, expression as hard as always.

your group is downstairs in the game room, bottles and cans of alcohol scattered around, playing the first round of truth or dare.

“um! dare!” she bites her lip as she looks at the blonde.

“i dare you to make out with tadashi.” namiko and tadashi both gasp, cheeks flushing as they look at each other.

they’re sitting next to each other and their lips desperately collide, the desire for each other obvious through their actions.

“okay. you two can stop now…” chizo mumbles, rolling her eyes.

tadashi and namiko laugh, looking at each other. “okay, (y/n)! truth or dare?”

you shrug and smirk. “how about a dare?”

namiko smirks and looks at you, then kageyama, then back to you. “i dare you to spend seven minutes in heaven with kageyama. in his bedroom…”

“woah!”

“namiko are you serious?!”

“she’s bold… bolder than i thought…”

kageyama’s nostrils flare as he stands up from the floor. “a dares a dare. let’s go (y/n).”

you nod slowly, still in awe of namiko’s dare. you get up and follow tobio. you’ve been in his room before, but it’s been a while. there’s volleyball trophies and certificates all along dressers and pinned to the walls, there’s not a single object out of place, which is shocking for a teen boy’s bedroom.

his expression is harsh as he motions to his bed. “sit.”

you sit, watching him pull out his phone and set a timer at seven minutes. he sits next to you, tossing the phone on the bed.

“we’re not doing anything except sitting here… cool?” he mumbles, glancing at you.

“i was thinking the same thing.” you say, glaring at him.

“what’s that face for?” his brows furrow.

you sigh and shake your head. “i-i’m sick of you being mean to me! you’ve been mean to me since we were little! why?!”

tears peek at your eyes and he shrugs. “i don’t know! maybe i was jealous of you!”

you stand up and move in front of him, glaring once more. “jealous?! of me?! what on earth are you on about tobio?! i should be the one that’s jealous!”

he stands up now and looks down at you, cheeks flushed red with anger. “you’ve gotten to do whatever you wanted! it was practically set in stone that i was going to be the one to take over the company and you were going to go to college. in fact i overheard our parents deciding that once! i don’t want to take over the stupid company (y/n)! i want to play volleyball!”

“y-you heard them say that?” you whisper, looking down at your feet.

tobio’s hand grips your chin so you look up and into his eyes. “yes. that’s why i was an asshole to you all these years. why i never wanted anything to do with you. because you were free to make your own decisions and i wasn’t. it’s not fair.”

you shake your head. “i don’t want to go down the path i’m going either.” you say. “i’d rather run the company than go to college, at least for something other than a business degree.”

his eyes widen at your words, dropping your chin. “you’re serious? when did that decision come to be?”

“only a few nights ago. you should too. maybe we’ll run it together some day. if we both have business degrees, then…”

“i don’t care about the stupid business!” he practically screams.

you flinch away from him and against his bedroom door, hand going to the knob. tobio notices this and sighs. “shit… sorry… sorry i scared you…”

his expression softens and he sits at his computer desk now, putting his face in his hands.

“our lives… they’ve always been planned for us by our parents. you and i getting married, you going to college for like… a doctorate degree in something, my degree in business so i can continue to run the business… i thought… i thought being mean to you would change things, so i could write my own story…” kageyama lifts his head to speak, before placing it in his hands again.

your eyes widen. “y-you’ve… you’ve never really hated me?”

he looks up and opens his mouth to speak, but the phone alarm goes off. you walk over and stop it, staring at him. “kageyama…” you whisper.

he nods. “i… i like you… i really do…”

your cheeks flush and you step over to him, bending down to his level and kissing his lips deeply. he’s in awe, but wraps his arms around your waist and kisses you back. he soon pulls you into his lap, and you knot your fingers in his hair, continuing to kiss him deeply.

the two of you pull away, gasping for air as you look in each other’s eyes. “s-shit… tobio…” you whisper.

he smirks and picks you up, carrying you to the bed. he lays you down, gently, sliding his hands under your sundress. “(y/n)...”

you nod. “g-go ahead…”

he pulls your dress over your head and looks over your form. “beautiful…” he mumbles, large and calloused hands trailing down your stomach to your clothed sex.

he slides his thumb over the material of your panties, catching your clit which causes you to gasp out. he smirks and runs his thumb over it again. “t-tobio!”

he stops and holds a finger to his lips, shushing you. “we have to be quiet…”

you whimper at his words and nod. his brows furrow as he pulls your panties to the side, exposing your cunt to him. you cover your face with your hands, embarrassed at the predicament you’re in. “this is to make up for all these years, okay?”

you peak down at him through your hands and see him sliding his tongue along your folds. you whimper and he does it again, faster and faster he flicks his tongue through your slit. you push the back of your hand down on your mouth and moan, eyes rolling back into your head.

“feels good? you’re doing so good for me baby…” he whispers against your skin.

he dives back into you, lapping at your clit this time, suckling and teasing it with his tongue. you moan louder this time, bucking your hips up into his face. he then wraps his lips around the sensitive bud, sucking at it harshly. you can’t help but yell out, a hand gripping his black hair tightly.

“t-tobio!! it’s too much!!!” you yell out.

he pulls off and wipes his lips on the back of his hand. “c’mon baby… cum for me… let it out…”

as if he couldn’t get more aggressive, his tongue slips between your folds and inside of you, lapping at your juices that come out once again. you pull his hair and he thrusts his tongue in and out of you.

kageyama takes a moment to stare at you. your hair askew and face contorted in pleasure. one hand over your mouth and the other in his hair. he smirks and continues his quick pace.

“t-tobio!! i-im—!” you gasp out, creaming all over his face and tongue.

he slowly licks at you through the orgasm, helping you down from your high. he pulls away and licks his lips, savoring every last drop of your essence.

he takes a finger and collects the rest from his face, then sliding the finger into his mouth and sucking at it. you sit up on your elbows, watching him closely.

“do… do you need me to…?” you mumble nervously, looking to the tent in his shorts.

he shakes his head. “it was all about you… i’ll be fine…”

you nod and reach for your dress, pulling it over your head. he watches you carefully, unsure of what to say. “we should… we should do that again. not now! but sometime…”

you shrug. “i mean we don’t have long until uni starts… so i guess that’s cool…”

“not just that… i-“ he sighs and yanks at his hair. “let me take you out tomorrow? okay!?”

your eyes widen, but you slowly nod. “sure tobio. just don’t bully me…”

he lays next to you, wrapping his arms around your stomach and pulling you back into his chest. “no promises i won’t tease you, but i won’t be an asshole anymore.”

tags: @lustforyuu @beelziee @bummie @missuga @ultimate-astridwriting

[darthkruge]

heyy Megan, I'm trying to do a character study on Anakin but im finding very limited information online. what do you think are some of his worst and best traits? his personality, humor and like his values? thank you so much,, hope you have a good day/night

omg hi!! thank you for asking me!!

*cracks knuckles* let’s get into it 

anakin skywalker character analysis

best traits:

intelligence, overall skill, curiosity 

anakin was building droids from scraps when he was a child. he spoke huttese and basic from a young age, as well. he’s an insane battle strategist, wonderfully skilled in battle/with a lightsaber, and incredible pilot! he can pick up new skills quickly, as well. i’m just gonna link this post by @chokemeanakin bc it just sums it up real nice.. but yes smart boy love him

compassion, capacity for emotions, empathy, understanding

anakin feels things deeply. i’ve talked about this a lot before lol. but yeah he is frequently in conflict over the sheer weight of the emotions he carries. further, as a jedi, this is not something his peers could relate to. but he always tries to be there for his friends and would do anything to ease their pain. and i think that anakin seeks to understand others. he’s spent so much of his life feeling alone and like no one related to him; he wants to know how other people work, feel, and think.

loyalty, friendship, caring

anakin is so fucking loyal to those he loves. and, tying into my previous point, he loves deeply. he cares, he always has. he treats droids as humans and forms attachments, even though they may be forbidden. he held onto that need for love, for connection even after he joined the order. and he would defend those he loves til the very end... 

selflessness, protectiveness, bravery

anakin would literally dive headfirst into danger to save someone he loves. he doesn’t care about hurting himself or honestly whatever happens to him, as long as those he cares for are safe. 

worst traits:

impulsivity, recklessness

i think we’ve all seen anakin be a bit impulsive at times... sometimes, he just doesn’t think everything through. this is especially clear when someone he loves is in danger. anakin’s lost so many people that when he’s faced with the threat of losing another, his judgment can become clouded. 

insecurity, jealousy, fear

anakin is frequently jealous, which stems from his insecurities. he was probably conflicted a lot; brought into the order as a young child and told he was the chosen one. the weight of the galaxy was placed on his shoulders and, yet, he was held back in classes as a padawan, he didn’t make rank (canonically). i think these things are what allowed palpatine to manipulate him; palpatine knew anakin was afraid, insecure, and, yet, arrogant (my next point dw). he tapped into this and because anakin and the council did not have much mutual trust (aside from like obi-wan), it was easier to get to him. especially because palpatine used anakin’s fear of losing padme and his unborn children to do so. fuck palpatine bro- 

arrogance

yes, anakin was insecure. yes, he was also arrogant. let me explain myself. he occassionally rushes into things without thinking, thinking he can handle them. i think a lot of this stems from being told he was the chosen one from such a young age. that title combined with his skill?! it makes sense he’d internalize it. i am now going to stop myself before i rant about how the gifted education system is a fuckfest. this is coming from someone who spent years in that program. anyway-

personality/overall rant about his life/motivations:

i think i summed up a lot of his personality within the best and worst traits because i got ahead of myself but im going to say some more!! i think a lot of anakin’s personality is dependent on his deep capacity for emotions. you can see that throughout ROTS, he was conflicted almost all the time. he grew up as a slave and all he wanted was to protect his mother. he built droids to help her and competed in podraces to tryand get them anything that could help. 

then, he was taken to the order. suddenly, all these amazing traits he has make sense!! but then the person who’s supposed to train him (qui-gon) dies after anakin’s only known him for a short period of time. anakin’s attachment issues are abundant (i don’t think i need to explain that one) so of course he grows close to obi-wan! but obi-wan was trying to be strong for anakin. even though obi-wan struggled himself with attachment, he tried to be strong and put up a front as a “good” jedi for anakin to look up to. while this was helpful, anakin probably just felt more conflicted, as no one in his life could relate to the bredth of emotions he felt. this caused him to be more introverted and withdrawn (i talk about that in this post)

then, he loses his mother, she dies in his arms. the only person he’d wanted to protect from a young age, who he left to join the jedi, dies in his arms. he blames himself for this, thinking he should have gotten there faster, should have done something more. he probably also blamed the jedi, to at least some extent. why do these powers matter if they can’t save the people he loves? i believe he acted out of anger, killing the tuskens, because (at least to some degree) of the jedi. instead of teaching him how to express his emotions (pain, fear, loss, grief, etc.), they train him. to some degree, he might think all he’s good for is these skills. so he acts out of anger, slaughtering them. 

and then finally he finds someone who loves him in the way he wants to be loved. padme stays by his side, even after he killed the tuskens. she sees the good in him and treats him as a man, not a prophecy. but once again, this motif of fear remains! he has to hide this love, one of the only pure and good things in his life! he has to live in fear every second of every day because, if the council finds out that he found happiness and love, everything is ruined. 

but then he starts getting the vision’s that padme will die. and not just padme, now his unborn children could die, too. the one thing he has that is good and purely his could now be ripped away. he knew he was helpless, knew there was nothing he could do to stop it by himself. the council isn’t that helpful, telling him to learn to let it go with the force. while that might help any other jedi, it just pushed anakin away. he would never be able to just surrender and let go to the force, not when the life of his entire family is at risk! 

and he finds palpatine, someonoe who has spent years trying to manipulate him. but palpatine is smart, he’s cunning. anakin didn’t know what the real intentions were and, truly, he probably didn’t want to know. he was blinded by his fear and if anything could save padme, he would do it. then the council try to get him to spy on palpatine. again, conflict. anakin’s loyalty is repeatedly questioned and pushed and prodded, he was probably so confused! he didn’t know who to trust. but, when you combine the current situation with his backstory with who he is and what he cares about, it makes sense why it all happened. 

this is what i mean when i say conflict. he was pulled in a million directions constantly. and we all know how his story ends and i don’t want to cry so i’m not gonna detail it...

also: i’m not saying any of this excuses all of his choices, but it does explain them.  

humor:

lowkey a dork

he is. and i love that about him. you can see this in the way he flirts with padme sometimes... like floating the pear to her and the whole “i don’t like sand” thing. he’s a fucking dork. can’t exactly blame him nor do i hold it against him! he didn’t have many close friends growing up and he was like pining for padme for years so it’s not like he spent that time creating a playbook

he’s also witty!

i think this comes with his intelligence; he’s witty and he’s quick. example: “general grievous, you’re shorter than i expected.” i mean he’s no sass-king obi-wan kenobi but anakin definitely can hold his own in a verbal sparring match! 

also i headcanon him as having horrible puns but loving them!

values:

love, friendship, connections

at his core, anakin just wants to find someone who understands him and his emotions. who can relate to him. he wants those connections; in fact, he actively seeks them out. love is a key part of his identity. i talk about this in this post about his love languages so imma just link it there!

success, validation

tying into his determination, anakin wants to do well! he pushes himself and i think he’s a perfectionist, too. you can see this in the way he holds himself as a general; he doesn’t slack off, doesn’t not care. he understands the responsibility he has in that role and he takes it seriously! and just in his overall skill level, even though he was a bit of a child-prodigy, he clearly spent a long time training. he probably also had some imposter syndrome going on and was constantly trying to prove his worth. 

----

uhh yeah i think i got everything?? yes?? he’s so complex and i legit love him immensely. doing character analysis for anakin is my favorite thing in the entire universe! if anyone has anything they want to add, please feel free!!

[ariyadaivaris]

- christ i hate smug mma dudes more than anything on this earth. you're a man doing mma what do you have to be excited about? washing out of ufc and having to resort to a dying professional wrestling company? the systematic oppression of women? the paul brothers? i'm putting nails in your shoes

- the rare and coveted tshirt ariya. phwew he's really uh. he's very. twirls hair. he's kinda

- ariya using a rose metaphor for himself teehee i love being very smart and always right about everything

- "i guess you don't think tony can do it on his own aye" is soooooo so so far from anything that has ever happened between tony and ariya that it's LAUGHABLE. ariya deserves to laugh in his face. cringe and fail broadway-musical-rock-of-ages-male-lead-understudy looking little man. no i'm gonna argue with the kayfabe enemy actually the WHOLE THING up to this point has been ariya trying to prove himself and the subtle tension of tony becoming champion where ariya never has, the only the ONLY time ariya has ever not believed in tony is when he had a full on spiral breakdown towards the beginning of the year when they were questioning splitting them up again for some fucking reason and then it got retconned because DUHHHHHH why would you ever split tony and ariya up just for fun or a giggle when they;ve got the most complex relationship on 205 if you re*you walk away knowing all of this already because you have heard this every week for the last three years but you can still hear me talking in the distance, talking and talking though no one is there...*

- obsessed with this promo actually...ariya's mannerisms are so good he's SO...FUN. i LOVE watching him. he is so self-assured and so charming and there is so obviously so much frustration buried like, an INCH deep beneath all of it. it takes grey pushing him ONCE for him to lose his verve. im SO interested in this

- the thread here is, of course, "you think tony can't do it on his own?" which, as i've stated, is so far from true or what ariya thinks that it's comic. when ariya spits, "of COURSE tony nese can do it on his own", there are a lot of factors at play. when he concedes that maybe instead of going out there, he WILL stay backstage, there's a lot going on there!!! there IS!!! *voice of an unwell person* there IS a lot going on   - tony doesn't need to prove he can do it on his own, because he already has. ariya's storyline...like i mentioned, he had a weird moment at the beginning of the year, when it seemed like maybe he and tony were going to be split up. that was very much a moment of "okay the writing might change so it's time to set something up" of course but i think it's interesting to think about as a character impulse.   ariya is working to prove he can do things on his own. this has BEEN his thing. he and tony are a team again, but ariya's tried to win with other teams and he's tried to win alone, and though he's successful more often than 205 would have you believe, he's still very shaky. tony has been allowed to work outside of the orbit of other people, and ariya hasn't gotten that chance as much. and, besides that, tony doesn't CARE about it in the same way ariya does. tony...when he gets intense, it's about interpersonal stuff. drew, buddy, cedric, akira, swerve. tony competes with people! ariya competes with himself. does that make sense. i know what i mean. its fine   ariya...is on edge. he likes tony and he likes working with tony, but he hasn't been a competitor like tony is. tony's been very accomodating, stepping back or supporting ariya's feuds and allowing him to do What He Needs To Do, which means ariya can try to work alone without going completely rogue and sabotaging shit. when he tried to cut himself off from tony, it was...well it was retconned. but. that's what he's done before and this time it didn't work because ONE it's just tony and ariya, there's no exacerbating force, and TWO, tony and ariya are, after all, friends. tony wants to be friends with ariya and it is hard work to be friends with ariya but he will do it. so they work it out. and ariya is left feeling very very weird about it, and very very aware of how much he kind of depends on tony, when tony doesn't depend on him, at all. ariya tries to protect tony and gas him up and keep an eye on him to make up for All That He's Done Before and to feel like this friendship is two-sided (which it is, of course, friendship is more than a strategic advantage but that's how ariya's always approached it and it's a hard habit to break), but he doesn't have the wins to back up the feeling of being Worth It as a friend.   it's...i feel like i just sound out of my gourd saying all of this lol and i am. but when ariya bitterly says, "of course tony nese can do it on his own." it's not just the anger at grey being a dickhead towards tony. it's also ariya being painfully aware that tony can do it without ariya's help. there's a threat in that statement, that question that doesn't need to be asked. there's an irony to it. its...think about it this way: if tony was talking to grey about watching ariya's match, grey wouldn't snark about if tony thought ariya could do it. you know?

- that doesnt make sense. whatever <3 im free

- wow love seeing kushida defending the title. imagine if that happened.....on.......205 live

- ariya literally getting successfully talked out of watching tony's match because he wants to show he believes in tony :( i'm hurt...i'm so hurt. so fucked up and twisted. by GREY too, ariya has kind of a BIT with grey huh. him cheating to pin ariya and then going noooo cheating is wrong against all other opponents. the way grey is super hypocritical and shitty to him and then to no one else. ariya almost respecting him for what ariya understands as Someone Who Gets It and then revealing oh no i just really don't like you and want to piss you off. this one dude who keeps targetting ariya specifically in all the ways that most drive ariya into a frenzy and he managed to hit him where it hurts the most enough to drive him into hiding. oughhhh aughhhh   - everyone on 205 being a hater for no reason and seeing ariya trying to deal with his Issues(TM): hm. i can make him worse

- SUNFLOWER JACKET!!!!!!!! SUNFLOWER JIRO. PRECIOUS AND BELOVED. KING AMONG ALL CRUISERWEIGHTS. I DONT KNOW WHO ARIYA IS

- the exaggerated "BOO!""YAY!" cheers for jiro. who am i to say he doesn't deserve them. he DOES. we LOVE jiro. jiro is allowed to homewreck gold standard if he wants to i'll pretend not to see

- UNBREAKABLE!! AUGHHH HE'S SO COOL AND FUN AND HIS MIND IS SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL. jiro has such a fucking bonkers sense of like...dragging a move out. that man can MAKE a sequence! he gets the upper hand and he holds onto it for ages and the entire time its never dull. always with the momentum! always with the visualization of everything around him and how to make it into a show. i just simply think that jiro kuroshio

- HE'S DYINGGGGGGG NOOOOOOOO JIRO. TONY NESE YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. he looks great at this angle though love you weirdo. oh NO your jacket is NOT cool enough to pull this off fkshsdskd  - jiro injecting some MUCH needed humor back into 205 thank you so much

- tony's stupid joth uniform next to jiro's sunflower pattern is SO good. fuckin goth v prep diagram dynamic. creamsicle blogging moments

- OH I LOVE A GOOD PIN. we LOVE a good pin don't we. that kick to tony on the apron ROCKS

- clearly you don't own an air fryer...

- OH HIS FORM IS FUCKING UNREAL. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!! JIRO KUROSHIO BABEY

- i REALLY like this match. this is 205 to me

- IS THAT A 205 CHANT??? IS THAT A 205 CHANT I HEAR??? OH????? WORM????? ITS BEEN LIFETIMES....................

- ooohohohoohohHOOO tony's recovery from the moonsault. that was. dare i say. Epic

- JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- jiro treating mister nese like a little football. sorry anthony. perhaps you should just be cooler <3

- THAT WAS SO FUN......what a meaty episode this week. harkens back to 205 of old.............i love it. im loving this energy. jiro kuroshio you are going to save 205 i believe it

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 3 - “Am I Old?” - Sarah

So far Shosha and Yujo haven’t lost any challenges, if we keep winning until the swap  i fear that the other tribes will target our people because we’re all still intact. Maybe it would be a good thing to maybe lose one? I dunno

ちくしょう 😉

FUCK the hosts for this how many hours can you put in challenge this early in the game, i'm literally fucking pissed, FUMIN love! i knew we were gonna lose from early on but i still put in the time and hours to distract myself from this bitch ass boy who curved me yesterday night, whatever. i'm just so exhausted like of the constant losing, the tribal council, ugh. i haven't been on a losing tribe like this in SO long. and i'm so.. over it. i can't stand losing and i can't stand that emma is immune right now because deciding who to vote off is going to be impossible and people are going to be coming for me so i'm like, probably most definitely gone or whatever. and that means i'm going to have to do the arena challenge and NOT have a day off which... ugh....... dont get me wrong i know that ORGs are time commitments but usually i win the premerge challenges so THIS IS NEW OKAy kdhfnsdkfndkfndf. i'm just annoyed and i'm so over my tribe... and i didn't find any advantages at the olympic village i finally remembered to search in. anyway i dont even wanna THINK about tribal rn so this is just me saying fuck this challenge and ughhh i'm so TIRED just so fatigued of everything, i'll like come back tmrw and strategize or something. *throws a rock at the cameraman* fuck this shit i'm out, give me the osake RIGHT! GOD DAMN! NOW! (alcohol for all you non duolingo-ers)

i'm kinda happy that bailey was evacuated from the game, she would have been voted out regardless and this gives our tribe better odds at survival. even if we had gone to tribal i would've been comfortable, but now i feel like it's better than i try to prove my value as a player by competing in the arena! kinda excited.

tribal three times in a row check! 😍✨💋 LMAO no one is wanting to actually talk to me about it so i’m hoping that i can still sway the votes in my favor but we’ll see! i think landen would defiantly do his best to help keep me from going, but it’s all a matter of who would we send instead. so! we’ll see! at least i can say i did my best 

So, for starters, the past round went pretty much as expected.  Kathy was the vote off from my tribe, and she lost at the arena, as well, past round I found nothing yet again at the village.   Now, right now in terms of this round, my tribe didn't win immunity, but Bailey ended up getting medically evacuated due to getting three inactivity strikes, so the tribal got cancelled for my tribe, and Beck ended up volunteering to do the arena.  So basically, just awaiting to search Olympic Village again, and hoping to goodness there is a tribe swap next round, since right now my tribe is just my alliance with Ben and Beck, which will make things rough come another loss with no swap.

yep worst case scenario happened. My tribe lost with me sitting out and Will, my one main ally, not showing up to the challenge at all!! I was hoping it could be an easy vote so i didn’t have to vote and I could get the advantage but now it seems like my tribe is ready to boot Will and if I want that advantage I need two of those other three to vote against each other! God this is gonna be hard... 

I’m in a tough predicament here. I could either A. play it safe, agree with everyone to vote will or B. try to save my ally and my advantage at the same time by getting Sarah and Eve to vote out Nik, risking my whole game. Godddd I don’t know!! aaaagh! 

it's 10am, tribal is in 10 hours, and i've had about 10 separate heart attacks throughout the morning. i don't know what to do tonight. i'm really struggling to figure out what's right. my heart says jacob, that's definitely where i'm leaning. juls is my closest ally at this point, and after the whole debacle with Billy, voting him out, then instantly starting to bond with him and all that, and apologizing, and him sticking by me even after I voted him out first, I would feel terrible voting for him again and I want us to prove to eachother we can trust eachother. but the fact he said juls' name.. if that's who he's going to go for, i simply can't prove to him i will vote with him. i'm tight with juls, she saved me even over emma, and i just really feel a bond with her. we're both the youngest in this cast, we both have lots in common, it really do feel like we're the same person at times. at the same time, my head tells me jacob is good in challenges, and will be ok in arena, but that i really don't need a 3rd person upset at me for going to the arena, and if Emma is still coming after me, she could probably use me coming for Jacob to her advantage, but I don't even know where she's voting or what she's thinking. i'm torn about this vote, and it's all the more annoying that if emma just hadn't fucked up at the last challenge, we wouldn't be here without someone to vote right now. we'd all be able to agree on emma or jacob probably, and it would just... it would still suck complete ass, but it wouldn't be as complicated as it is now. with a tribe as tiny as 5 people, going to tribal THREE times, with all the same 5 people.. it's just not something we can afford. our tribe is being torn apart and... whew, i just need the swap. give it to me rn. as of now, i'm thinking i'm going to vote jacob, and i hope i can get billy on board for that and take his mind off juls. that's where my head is at right now... tribal is making me sick to my stomach

What the f does I stan you even mean? Am I old? And I no longer hip and down with the lingo? Bogus, man...

Our first tribal is tonight... I hate to say it, but I'm voting for Will. Nobody has heard from him in days, or for the last challenge, and tonight will be a second strike if he doesn't come back for tribal. WILL I'M SORRY. I definitely would not have voted him otherwise, he did great on the other challenges and is a great personality to have around. Come back for the next season Will.. 

I am the swing vote again lol Juls got blamed for messing up last vote by Emma and Billy, which considering Juls is beloved by everyone, PERFECT But now since we lost I need to pick a side, Landen and Juls or Emma and Billy. I like Emma, Billy sketches me out. Landen is the perfect meat shield for eternity. He's a bit of a blabbermouth. I watched the tapes of the live tribal, he sold me out unknowingly in front of Billy. How am I supposed to both sides these people now!? I could get sold onto a Landen vote, but that's not being sold, so WELL, who do I screw over. I feel so bad voting out Juls, but that's a reason to vote her out too, gah. GAH. Do I pick a side and lowkey goat, or do I make my control of the tribe forefront (but not evident because everyone hates each other) Time will tell. 1 Hour until tribal, and I have no idea what to do. inb4 voted out

why the FUCK does emma have immunity? she's literally so useless and does nothing in challenges... and the fact she already turned on juls, this quick, over practically nothing? im sick to my stomach, love. i know i said that already, but you know what? I must have the flu, because my nausea is neverending with this tribe and our constant spins at tribal council. as emma once said, we're basically taking turns sending people to the hellish arena. but the twist is so complex because you can't send someone you like there, because there IS always the very real chance that they lose the challenge. going there could be a good risk if you're smart with it, but it could be a risk that puts your entire game in jeopardy and i'm a KNOWN safe player when it comes to game mechanics ^_^ the only risks i take are in emotional labor! speaking of, myself and juls have both been working very hard to keep her safe from billy and emma's focused target on her, but i don't see it happening.. Billy and em seem to be tight now and it seems like they've convinced jacob to take out juls. The really horrible thing about all this, is that if i want to save juls.... i'm likely going to have to vote billy. and that is going to be aching, because i really like the guy, and i was being 100% honest and genuine with him saying i wanted to be on his side, to prove to him i have his trust and that i will be loyal to him and want to work with him til the endgame and be his ally. but if he's going to go against juls and i have to choose between the two of them..... i mean, i can't choose billy. it would be bad. so there's 30 minutes left and i don't have a clear idea of what's happening yet and any choice i make will permanently damage a tight connection that I thought I had heading into the later game. I guess in good news, Sammy, Caeleb, and a new friend, Jordan, ALL messaged me saying good luck at tribal, and talking to me a bit about it, saying they hope I'm safe. Forming those cross tribal bonds could be crucial in surviving the next stage of the game, which, god please, is happening VERY soon... *i bind myself to the cross* Give me strength to get through this, Japan. Onegaishimasu.

So far the game is makin  me p sad, I’m super tired of going to tribal and having to send people to arena. And that Japanese challenge was so damn frustrating 

so tribal last night.... i mean, uh, i guess my power, huh? lmao........... MESS!!! IM A MESS MY GAME IS A MESS THIS WHOLE DAMN THING IS A MESS. Someone get me a MOP rn because Sonkei-Matsing tribe is STRUGGLING and it's all EMMA'S FAULT!!!!! On the other hand, I'm very grateful Emma is an idiot, because Billy got to be safe!!! So let me explain what happened in that bonkers tribal council, from MY perspective... When I heard that my closest ally Juls had her name coming up, i was like, oh HELL. NO. So I put in the WORK to get Jacob and Billy to vote for eachother. Don't get me wrong, Juls worked hella hard on this too, she is a bad ass bitch and she deserves credit. But I do believe I was a major factor in swaying their votes as well as I'd built pretty close relationships with each of them in terms of strategy. But with Billy, that relationship wasn't a tight trusting one, more of a, please, I like you a lot, let me prove to you that I can be trusted and we can work together. Let us prove that to eachother. But here's how it happened. Even though Jacob and Billy DID vote for eachother... NEITHER OF THEM TOLD ME THEY WERE VOTING FOR EACH-OTHER. BILLY LED ME TO BELIEVE HE WAS VOTING JULS THE WHOLEEEEE TIME. And initially, I was fine with it, and i was STILL going to vote Jacob off with Juls!! Thinking there was nothing I could do and she would go 3-2. But then, 5 minutes into tribal, you'll see me furiously typing... Because Jacob FINALLY told me he was going to vote for Billy (and that's on Whispering!!! #LiveTribal!!) So from my perspective.... Billy and Emma are voting Juls. Juls is voting Jacob. Jacob is voting Billy. It's 2-1-1... and if I vote for Jacob, then Jacob and Juls can't vote, and Billy and Emma have the majority to send Juls out, saving Jacob on the revote. BUT if I vote for Billy, then Billy and Juls can't vote, and now me and Jacob have the majority over Emma. That was the thought process behind my initial vote for Billy. LITTLE DID I KNOW BILLY ACTUALLY WAS VOTING WITH ME AND NOW I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR VOTING FOR HIM AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO HIM BUT HE DIDN'T TEXT ME WHEN HE GOT OFF AND UGH, I NEED TO MAKE THIS RIGHT!!!! Emotional labor is the most annoying thing, and I'm really bad it. I'm terrible at apologizing and owning up to things, maybe that's why I just let my friendships fall apart in real life instead of doing the actual work to save them once a problem happens. because emotional labor is fucking annoying, exhausting, and stressful! I don't got time for it! But now, I need to have time for it, because our tribes are FIVE PEOPLE strong, and at the next tribal council, if I don't get my relationship with Billy in check, I WILL be gone. It is his vote that I need to help make sure Emma's psycho ass goes home, and if he, Jacob, and Emma all think they're on the bottom... Yikes. I hope Billy understands that I was absolutely disgusted it came down to him or Juls and I thought I was doing everything I could to save an ally.. I even swayed Juls to help save him with me, when she felt uncomfortable with him. He totally screwed up by like... not telling me he was voting with me, he said in tribal people just need to be real with where they're voting, and I agree! I wish he had just followed his own advice with me, because he would still be here right now. But his screw up does not at all compare to Emma... what the FUCK was she thinking, self-voting like that...? Like, HELLO? She throws out Juls' name all round, for I don't even know WHAT reason, since they were supposedly close, but it's implied she throws out Juls' name for getting 4 crowns on the challenge... Um, YOU STUPID BITCH YOU LITERALLY ONLY GOT ONE MORE CROWN THAN HER AND BEFORE THAT DID NOTHING ON THE SLIDE PUZZLE CHALLENGE OR THE TRIBE CHANT, DESPITE US KNOWING YOU CAN PUT IN THE TIME WHEN YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT IN THE ARENA :) Headass.... Then, after doing that all round, she SELF-VOTES??? WITH IMMUNITY AROUND HER NECK??? Girl you MUST be crazy, cus this is psychotic. Headass, deadass, she is gone the next time we lose tribal, which, lbr, is probably next time because we're LIT RALLY matsing. at least caeleb thinks i'm denise though. i feel like i have the same amount of wrinkles as her, after the stress of this game like 3 rounds in. imagine how tired i am.  

Round 3's over! That's fun, innit? Glad we got rid of some dead weight in Bailey. As for friendships and alliances, I'm still slightly on edge about Darcy - I trust Beck over him. Got acquainted with Karen - they seem nice, but I'll keep an eye on them, too. Other than that, Nicole and Tommy are the people I'm mainly corresponding with. Seems like fun! :) Here's to a fun Round 4!

Okay so we won this round which is fun! Tommy went to the arena which gives me, Karen and Kevin a good chance to bond because Stoner just isn’t paying attention ever. I wonder if he has even made a confessional. Anyway, I’m going to be real annoyed if we lose and he whips out an idol. Also going to be mad if after this round there’s a swap and I’m swapfucked. I don’t think it really COULD happen to me though, because I’ve talked to at least one newbie on each of the tribes. Unless I’m stuck with Nik, Emma and Billy who have no interest in speaking to me, I think I’ll be fine. Speaking of newbies, I find myself talking to Ben a lot but I’m under the impression he talks to a lot of people. He reminds me of a lot of friendly pure men in this community like Joey, just very social and very nice! The only thing is sometimes he will say something in a conversation and I don’t necessarily know where to go with it. For example right now he’s having a full conversation with me in the village chat about pizza. I don’t know what to do with this and rather not be so vocal in the village chat. While the other newbies are increasingly hard to talk to, and sitting around all day waiting for the arena stuff is boring, Ben is a very nice person to talk to but I just wish we would talk like...about the game not what I’m eating. When it comes down to it I want to know I have an ally or two to bring to the end that might offset my immediate threat of being a winner, but not give them so much power that they win over jury votes. He seems to be showing his social side and not giving me any game info at the same time, which I have to look out for. All of the other newbies I’ve spoken to have talked game. He’s either playing a really good game by doing this or a really transparent one, I can’t tell yet. We will have to see! 

Last night proved something that I’ve been wondering about Landen for a while. He truly is a snake. I unintentionally made a really good move in keeping it mysterious on who I was voting. In order to make the vote go his way and to keep Juls, he instead changed the vote to ME and got Jacob to do the same. Sneaky mother fucker 😋 thank god Juls stayed the same though. I know for an absolute fact now that I won’t be able to trust him. As for Jacob, I do hope he comes back, because now that I know where the tribe stands I know I can get him on my side.

I don't know if I ever had such a frustrating round for challenges first duolingo and now the arena I was in the lead in front of everyone until the last clue and I lost it all I didn't get a medal. I'm so pissed, you really don't wanna @ me anytime soon because I'm at the point where I wanna go off on someone. 

Love the tribe, so happy we 5-0d the last tribal!! it was a cute moment!! hehe, we seem to be very together as a unit

So Will’s gone, well he’s at the arena but i think he died so he’s probably out for good. Now that he’s out that leaves me on the bottom of my tribe as the next to go, my only hope is getting as close to sarah as I can and crossing my fingers for a swap! Due to that triple tribal I think it’s going to happen next... hopefully! 

Ughh i keep forgetting to make confessionals until right before the round ends so im always like oh shit and then dont really know what im gonna talk about so its not good. hows things in the life of jordan pines? great thanks for asking, while i still feel on the bottom of my tirbe i definitly see a swap coming soon which i think depending on how it goes would be pretty good for me. Id ideally like to stay with most of the people ive been with plus new ones, becuse i think im seen as like an expendable numebr to caeleb and Jacob. I want them to keep thinking of me like this while I go out and start forming stronger relationships, keep bringing in those jordan pines minions, i got my sights set on billy right now, i like him but he makes me look as humble as they come and ive i could definitly turn him into a goat for me with the right coaxing. Im hoping will survives the arena cause hes for sure a number for me, but hes also a lil innactive so maybe he peaced. Im starting to build relationships with Landen who I like. I havent even looked at the all winners tribe holy shit. Karen and Stoner are gonna be my biggest obstacles as they dont necesarily love me. Im gonna try to work with Nicole for a bit if i can tbh. Thats really all im feeling right now. I think best cast scenario is people use me as a number and carry me just a little too far that I can turn shit around and fuck em over. It's definitely gonna be an uphill climb to the finish line, but the only way to do it is go step by step.

I feel like I am in a great position on my tribe! I trust Sarah and Eve a lot. Pete says he has my back so we can only hope that in the case of another tribal council, I will be safe! I’m still going to work my ass off and play my ass off to stay safe and not have to go to another tribal! This game is long and hard and I’m trying to see big picture. And within that big picture is a flashing sign that’s telling me there’s a tribe swap soon! Hopefully I’ll be able to work some magic and avoid being on a tribe with individuals that don’t like me. But overall I’m feeling pretty good after the last tribal!

[beautiful-rebellious-sunflower]

Hi! So I'm trying to convince a friend who isn't really a fan of Abby that she's a precious cinnamon roll. What evidence/arguments/gentle nudging would help to show them the light? :)

You know what? I started writing out a whole long essay of feels about Abby Griffin and why I love her so much, but I realised anything like that was gonna be WAY too long! So here it is condensed into handy bullet pointed list form!

(ﾉ���ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  DISCLAIMER

Someone not liking Abby as a character is fine! I don’t expect my fave to be everyone’s fave, and sometimes you get a character who just rubs you the wrong way and you might not even be able to explain why. But, since I was asked, these are some of the reasons *I* love Abby Griffin, and some responses to common criticisms of her (many of which I genuinely think are deeply unfair and based on ridiculously inaccurate interpretations of her character)

Onwards!

she’s a talented Doctor and Scientist

she designed the wristbands! the whole ‘sending the 100 to the ground’ thing was LITERALLY HER IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE THERE WOULD BE NO SHOW without Abby Griffin

“the most respected person in this camp" 

when Clarke destroys Mount Weather she immediately wants to use all that tech not for killing Grounders like Pike does, but for opening a hospital and healing Grounders and Sky people alike god whatever happened to THAT storyline btw??

saves Nyko’s life

saves Raven’s life

saves Lincoln’s life with an amazing smart, brave moment of sheer shocklashing badassery, and by doing so…

becomes the first person EVER to bring back a Reaper!!! Thus enabling Clarke to win an alliance with the Grounders and presumably becoming a legend with them because she LITERALLY BROUGHT A DUDE BACK FROM THE DEAD YO INDRA DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT

saves Finn’s life long-distance over the radio (look we all have our faults but Clarke, Raven and Octavia are equally to blame for this one so no foul to Abby)

saves Marcus’ life under the rubble of Tondc

saves Roan’s life when he’s shot

…literally are you getting my point half the people in the show would be dead if it it weren’t for her

keeps Ontari alive (and thus helps Clarke save the world) by CRACKING OPEN HER CHEST AND MANUALLY PUMPING HER HEART look even Murphy was impressed by that

she’s super badass and incredibly brave even without resorting to violence and killing like other characters

willing to go to jail and the airlock (!!!) multiple times to try and save the people due to die in the Culling

willing to fire herself at the Earth in an ancient rocket cobbled together by Raven just for the chance that she can prove the kids are alive

goes to meet Indra, a heavily armed enemy warrior leader, alone and unarmed, and doesn’t back down even with a knife held to her throat

climbs into the rubble of Tondc to save people even though she herself was safely out of it

saves Raven’s life (again!) by taking the chip when ALIE makes her cut her wrists

saves Jackson and Miller’s lives on Science Island by distracting a drone

she’s a devoted, loving and good mother (FUCK YOU I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL)

kind of a surrogate mom to Jackson who lost his mom at a young age

clearly wants to adopt both Raven and Murphy too

willing to move heaven and earth to find Clarke and protect her

stands up to Jaha to back Clarke in season two even as he tries to have her deposed and thrown into the stockade because…

“I have faith too. In my daughter.”

also in season two, defers to Clarke and gives up any chance of finding survivors from the other Ark stations to focus on rescuing the kids in Mount Weather

understands why Clarke left post-season two and even though it’s clearly hurting her she doesn’t try and drag her back before ‘she wants to be found’

look I don’t want to go too far on this because some of the time Abby DOES show poor judgement and go overboard in trying to protect Clarke?? I can’t deny that but honestly if the worst u can say about Abby Griffin is that she loves her daughter too much then you’re reaching pretty badly tbh, considering other characters have list of faults that literally include ‘torture’ and ‘genocide’

she’s a woman of extraordinary integrity and deeply held ethics, but also pragmatic and not stupid about it

“You don’t have to justify yourself.I broke the rules and I accept the consequences”

she ALWAYS does what she thinks is right…but she also NEVER shies away from the consequences

horrified by what Clarke does in letting Tondc be bombed…but keeps the secret anyway because she knows it’s necessary

deeply hurt by Clarke’s coup in S2 and shocked at the change in her daughter…but steps aside for her anyway to avoid more bloodshed from an actual fight

haunted and grief stricken by her beloved husband’s death…but was the one to turn him in, because she believed that risking the life of one person she loved couldn’t outweigh the risk of many more lives being lost by his actions

she’s the kindest, sweetest darling

befriends Raven, sees potential in her and treats her as an equal and an ally

besties with Purest Cinnamon Roll Jackson

sees the potential in John Murphy

respects and trusts Lincoln as an advisor when she’s Chancellor

constantly torn between worry and pride for her wayward daughter but would do anything to keep her safe 

forgives Marcus Kane for all the bullshit he put her through and ends up being his biggest supporter and ally and helping him to become a better man

constantly trying to heal everyone and save everyone even though she knows she can’t

constantly trying to find solutions that don’t involve violence and death

wracked with guilt for things she couldn’t have forseen and couldn’t change, worries that she isn’t a good person and doesn’t deserve to survive

led Arkadia in three months of real peace, turning a ramshackle camp into a growing, flourishing home even while dealing with her own personal grief over Clarke being missing

doesn’t get enough sleep

her smile is like the sun coming out from behind the clouds

Abby Griffin in conclusion

she’s incredibly smart

she’s extraordinarily courageous

she’s self-sacrificing

she’s kind and compassionate

she’s passionately driven and principled

she’s willing to get her own hands dirty

she takes care of everyone even though no-one ever takes care of her

she has to try and be a leader AND a doctor AND a mother all at once and even though it means she’s constantly overworked and has to make impossible choices, she willingly bears the burden of those responsibilities

BONUS ROUND UNDER THE CUT!!! Common reasons people give for disliking Abby, and my response to them! :D

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  DISCLAIMER THE SECOND

Again, this is all just my opinion, and I don’t want to start an argument with anyone who disagrees. The ask here was ‘what evidence/arguments would I use’ so I thought a useful thing would be to lay out why the common arguments of those who don’t like Abby as a character do not sway me personally. My intention is to counter these criticisms with my own thoughts on the subject, not invalidate them.

Onwards!

**

“She’s an overbearing mother who doesn’t believe in Clarke’s leadership and competency even though it’s been proven again and again. She constantly tries to protect her when Clarke can clearly take care of herself and is trying to Get Shit Done without her mom’s interference.”

This is probably the most common one, and honestly I’m afraid I’m gonna have to repeat myself from my point above - if the worst thing you can say about Abby Griffin is that she loves her daughter too much…assuming that most people who make this argument love Clarke too, it seems like a bizarre reason to dislike Abby?

It also strikes me as oddly lacking in context. Overbearing parents can suck, sure, but…Abby Griffin isn’t getting mad about her daughter staying out late partying with friends or getting poor exam results. Abby Griffin is a mother desperately trying to prevent her only child from being brutally killed, or turning into a cold, ruthless killing machine herself, or else just ending up so broken and emotionally scarred that she loses her forever in another way.

These are not unreasonable concerns. These are things that happen to characters on this show!

Abby doesn’t want to lose her daughter. She doesn’t want her daughter to be hurt. She doesn’t want her daughter to have to make the terrible choices and unbearable sacrifices that a leader in Clarke’s position is so often called upon to do. And you know what? In her position I wouldn’t want that for MY daughter either! Is Abby selfish to want to spare her daughter these burdens? Maybe. Is she naive to think she can continue to protect Clarke under these circumstances? Almost certainly. But I can’t find it in my heart to blame her for trying.

Another thing I would really like to point out here that I think is often shamefully overlooked is that this is a flaw of Abby’s that improves with time. Yes, Abby does often question Clarke’s authority in season two and she is stubborn and open in her dismay at the change in her daughter that the Ground has wrought. But as time goes by Abby consistently backs Clarke and defers to her time and time again - standing up for her against Jaha, prioritizing her friends in Mount Weather above finding other Ark survivors, keeping the secret of the Tondc bombing…by the time season two ends Abby has come to terms with the person Clarke has become, and throughout season three and four she is nothing but a supportive and staunch ally to Clarke’s plans.

When they disagree on something Abby will always speak her mind, and when Clarke is in danger Abby will always try to protect her…just as any mother would, and as any of Clarke’s friends would. But if there’s one thing Abby Griffin has, it’s unwavering love and faith in her daughter. Clarke is clearly the person Abby cares most for in the world, and their relationship is one of the most important in the show - whether they’re at odds or working together, that relationship always makes both Clarke and Abby more interesting and more sympathetic to me. It feels like a genuine shame to me that some people find it a cause for resentment towards either of these characters instead.

**

“She’s reckless and doesn’t think through the consequences of her actions. She gave Finn a gun and he slaughtered a Grounder village! She smashed that machine in season four just to save Clarke when the entire human race was at stake!”

Actually I somewhat agree with this one! One of Abby’s faults throughout the show is that she often acts impulsively and makes unilateral decisions to do what she believes is right. Sometimes she turns out to be right…sometimes not. Either way this is something that makes me like Abby more as a character - she’s fallible and human! She makes mistakes! She’s so single minded about protecting her daughter that it can blind her to other concerns!

It makes her a much more interesting character, in my opinion, than an Abby Griffin who is unequivocally Right All The Time. As something of a moral compass for the show, it would be very easy for her to be boring, and having that stubborn, reckless streak makes her far more fun to watch. Give me morphine-stealing, black-market-dealing, do-whatever-it-takes-and-lie-through-your-teeth-to-get-what-you-want Slytherin Abby Griffin any day!

Because…at the end of the day, everything Abby does, good and bad, is done out of love for her daughter, and responsibility to her people. She’s not always right, but she is always - to paraphrase Jake Griffin - ‘doing the best she can.’ And I can’t help but love her for that, and root for her to succeed.

**

“She slapped Raven that one time.”

Yeah, that was a dick move. What, you expected something different? Just because I love Abby doesn’t mean I have to blindly agree with everything she does! As it happens, I share the opinion of a lot of people who think the writing for the show was at fault in this instance - I don’t think that slap was AT ALL in character for Abby to do, but that’s a discussion for another time. Assuming it IS taken as canon…yeah it was a total dick move. I hope (and genuinely believe) that Abby apologised to Raven afterwards. 

But again, I can’t help but think…if the worst charge you can level against Abby Griffin is ‘she slapped someone who didn’t deserve it one time’ then in the context of THIS show that speaks pretty well of Abby, to be honest. Of course it’s absurd to argue that any bad thing Abby does is just fine because other people have done worse things but…just…it’s not unreasonable to get a little perspective here, maybe? This one instance of Abby doing something admittedly unpleasant and unjustified to Raven in a moment of stress is nowhere near enough to cancel out the genuine and loving friendship the two share for the rest of the show, and seems like a pretty thin reason to Hate Abby Forever, especially considering all the awful things literally every other character in the show has done at one point or another except for my precious son Jackson

So although I agree in principle, a lot of the time when people trot out this particular argument it feels a lot to me like playing on everyone’s love of Raven to try and get them to hate Abby…which leaves a nasty ‘pitting women against each other’ taste in my mouth, to be honest.

So yeah, I don’t like this scene. I don’t like what Abby does in this scene. I won’t make apologies for her behavior here. But what I like least of all is anyone who tries to use this scene as some kind of unforgivable indictment of Abby’s character, when it is quite clearly exceptional and uncharacteristic behavior for her; something never seen before or since.

It was a dick move though.

**

“She killed her husband!”

*sighhhhhh*

I don’t hear this one a lot these days, but I really don’t know why it ever comes up at all as a reason to hate Abby? I mean, I can’t believe I have to spell this out for people because it is all explicitly laid out for you on screen in the show, but here in handy list form:

Abby clearly and demonstrably loved Jake Griffin, was terrified that he might be killed for exposing secret information and begged him not to do it

when he refused to back down, Abby confided in Jaha about his plans, because she genuinely believed that Jake was going to doom everyone on the Ark by going public, including Clarke

Abby and Jake were both personal friends with Jaha, and Abby believed that he would not execute Jake - a reasonable thing to think, as Jake had not yet committed a crime and Jaha HAD the power of pardon and was more than willing to use it on Abby when she later broke the law to save HIS life (hey fuck you Thelonius by the way)

when this did not happen and Jake was executed anyway, Abby was clearly and demonstrably horrified and grief stricken

even though Jake Griffin’s death was neither her intention nor her fault, she still obviously bears terrible guilt for her role in it and will have to live with the pain of losing the man she loved every day for the rest of her life

…seriously, this is all there on screen. Why some people persist in portraying Abby as some kind of cackling murderess who happily shoved her husband out of an airlock is beyond me. She trusted the wrong person and made a terrible mistake; an attempt to save lives that ended up losing the life of someone she loved deeply. It was a tragedy for everyone involved, born of the choices made by several different people all acting out of the best of intentions. Abby never came across as anything but deeply sympathetic to me when I watched this storyline play out on screen, and I’m just baffled that anyone feels otherwise? What show were you watching?

“She’s old and boring.”

Hey: fuck you!

Ok so not a lot of people straight up come out and say this, but a lot of the hate towards Abby Griffin really does seem to be because she has the audacity to be a woman over forty on TV. If you hate Abby because she displays characteristics or acts in a way that you would be swooning over if given to a sexy young man in his 20s, then the problem is a whole lot of socially ingrained ageism and misogyny, and there’s not a lot I can do to persuade people out of that.

~**~IN CONCLUSION~**~

A lot of people have different reasons for not liking Abby Griffin as a character, just as is the case for any character in any work of fiction. Some of them I can understand, even if I don’t personally agree with them. Some of them I think are both unfair and unreasonable. However, at the end of the day, all I can do is try and explain my own reasons for Abby being my favourite character, which I have done at…uh…some length. WOOPS.

I love Abby.  I think she’s an interesting character,a  sympathetic character, a vibrant and complicated and vital character. She’s someone I look up to, the kind of person I would like to be. And it bums me out to think that there are fans who just don’t like her, or simply don’t care about her, and that I will probably never be able to change their minds on that.

But there are plenty of people who feel the same way I do too. So Anon, if you are still reading this - and frankly I wouldn’t blame you if you had given up some time ago - my advice for you is this:

Agree to disagree. Talk to your friend about characters you both love in the show. Ask them to keep an open mind about Abby, and try to find out why they just haven’t warmed to her in the way you presumably have. And if you ever want to flail over our smol cinnamon roll science babe queen…there are plenty of us ready and waiting to join you :)

[jackjackbacmac]

It's after midnight. Yesterday I attended a talk by Aydien Dowling, a transgender activist. A lot of the things he said hit home in very uncomfortable ways. He didn't grow up knowing he was a guy in a girl's body. He didn't decide to start transitioning until he was 21 or 22. And even then he thought he didn't want testosterone or any kind of surgery. But he ended up changing his mind on both. That scared me. I've been thinking a lot about my own gender and trying to cut through all the crap to find what I really feel.

Like when I first talked to my lesbian wife about this I got all excited about the possibility of my clit growing into a little dick. I bought a binder (a crappy one that I ripped trying to get iiff). I bought some masculine clothes. I wanted her to call me "he" sometimes.

But she got uncomfortable with it.

Now she says stuff like how I only want a dick for sex. So why do I want a packer?

And we have a conversation about how I feel like I'm definitely not a woman, just not sure if I'm a man or something else and 30 seconds later she tells me that I'm a good woman - not "person" - & that she'll always love me for who I am inside. I think she meant it to be comforting. But to talk about how I'm confused & looking at all options sucks when she then immediately tells me #1 - I only "want" a penis for sex & #2 I'm a good woman.

I don't know. I don't know if im a woman. I'm leaning toward not. I don't know if I'm somewhere in between or if I'm a man.

I don't know if I like to look at my breasts because they're a nice shape & sexy or if I like them because they're mine.

I remember when they started to develop & my areolas got larger I hated them. I thought they were ugly & gross. If I saw a girl in gym class with tiny nipples I was jealous and wished I could have them.

But at the same time I was excited to mature. I wanted to wear a bra. I wanted to be sexy.

Now looking back I wonder if all that excitement to become a sex object for men (which is exactly how I thought if it) was some twisted response to my early childhood sexual abuse & fucked up, immature understanding of the world. I knew if I was pretty & sexy & delicate & feminine I would have value. I knew some man would want to possess me and take care of me as a prized possession. I also knew the price would be loss of autonomy, physical & sexual abuse, & a very limited sense of self.

I wished I was a boy when I had a crush on my best friend Margaret so I could be with her forever & she wouldn't have to get married.

I thought about becoming a man so I could marry Jennifer. I'd heard of sex changes by then. But I didn't think my mom would like it. And i wasn't sure how I felt about always having to wear men's clothes.

When I saw a drag show for the first time I wished I was a man so I could make myself into one of those fantastic butterflies who possessed the beauty & femininity of a woman, but the strength & confidence & entitlement of a man.

When I get my brows waxed or my nails done I always feel so fake. Like I'm an imposter. Like I'm not woman enough to do those things & I have to prove I am.

When I was on Ambien (sleep med) for a few years too long I would act out dreams of being a man & not knowing what had happened to my penis. I was aware of myself during those dreams. I wasn't in full control, but I was aware. Now I wonder if I was trying to tell my future wife I wanted a penis.

I have (and have always had) frequent dreams where I'm a man.

So many times I've been relaxed & feeling good & then felt threatened by a man & I've pulled my femininity around me like a shroud to protect & hide myself. But at the same time it feels so futile, so fake. False weakness, naivety, fragility & plain stupidness are poor shield against the kinds of violence men can do to women. Basically pulling on a false mask to flatter their masculinity & superiority in order to fool them into believing you're too weak & dumb to ever be a threat. To make them feel like they're benevolent gods, so generous to allow you to live & pass unraped.

I think about the times I've felt the most content in my own body & they are all times I was doing something "masculine." Like out running & out maneuvering every guy in gym class. Like when I used my legs to press/lift more than 1000 lbs. Like when I'd change my own oil, replace the clutch, fix the struts, etc. When I'm building or repairing. When I feel like a man is seeing me as an equal. When I'm smart & fast & exceptionally competent. When I fix the plumbing. When I do a job that requires both intelligence & strength.

When I get called "sir."

When my wife sucked my strap on cock & called me daddy.

I don't know.

I'm scared of losing her. She's a lesbian & I don't know if she'll be able to stand me if I become more masculine in expression than I already am.

But I really like the idea of falling asleep with my penis resting against my thigh. I like the idea of having a cock. I'd love to try peeing standing up. I'd love to grow my arm pit hair & not feel like a freak.

I don't know.

I look at pics of prosthetic penises & think about gluing them on. Think about their weight & how I'd like masturbate while wearing one.

But I also like pretty sweaters & frilly skirts. I recognize that I'm pretty in make up. I like the way I look but hate how vulnerable it makes me feel. I also love the look and feel of a nice suit. Of a fashionable button up shirt. Of short hair styles & groomed beards. I like the feeling of my freshly shaved legs sliding between clean sheets. But I also like the feeling of wind blowing my leg hair.

I wonder if a large part of my femininity is a weird sort of self protection. Do I love the look of frilly bras because I'm attracted to people wearing them & I think being feminine will somehow protect me or because I want to wear them?

Am I a gender bending guy in a girl's body?

Am I a semi masculine woman who's fed up with misogyny?

Am i something else?

I don't know. But I do know I was desperately trying not to cry when Aydien talked about his experience.

[ts-crossroads]

Episode Six - “No One Tell Karma Anything I Just Said” - Autumn

Ok i'm so goddamn bipolar. I trust Ned, alot. Ok Ned is amazin, like I see why Sarah liked him. So my problem is there is prob a swap, and I wan't my ass to go to exile. Like it is guarenteed saftey. So I claimed that shit. But I feel bad bc if I do, I leave Ned behind. Leaving Ned behind makes me feel like shit, and prob makes him like not like me as much. And I truly don't wanna leave him behind, I just wanna be safe. Like this entire game, I have felt wishy-washy. Like I don't know where anyones head is at. And furthermore, I love Brandon, don't get me wrong, but I feel like he would tell people that I am good w/ him and this is just my prediction bc his tribal q&a he went off. And he is bubbly and talkative, and just a bit too talkative. So I can just sense a target on my back bc of him. And just omg. I want to be exiled away 2 hell pls. And tbh i prob pissed off my entire tribe. Lol

I know I just said that I'll never trust Sam but I kinda trust her now. Me: I can't fall for Sam's tricks again. My brain: https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/survivorsucks/imageproxy.php?url=http://i1383.photobucket.com/albums/ah305/jeff_pROBOTst/lisi%20survivor%20fail%20gif_zpspbkboevo.gif?t=1433290937 Also JOHNNY went home?!!?! THE FRAT ALLIANCE NEVER EVEN SAW THE LIGHT OF DAY! I'll avenge you Johnny. A frat guy will win this season, mark my words.

I feel like there’s some kind of secret redemption island or outcasts twist happening tbh

Omf this swap couldn’t have worked out better. So it’s me, Jake, Chris, and John. Me and Jake are tight af and one of the first things Chris comes to tell me is he wants to work with me and Jake to get John out cuz John is pissed at Chris for lying to him about that last vote. So I’m like “YASSSSSS” in my mind. But on the outside I’m just like. O yea. That sounds cool. Let’s do that. Anyways. If we do end up losing this tribal it’s all good. I want me and Jake to be able to make it to merge. And John is one of the people I need to take revenge on for taking out Emily. He shows regret for it now. But in the end it doesn’t matter. He still did it.

Another swap and yet again I find myself in a tough spot. Last time I had at least autumn who I knew would vote with me. Now I have John who I just lied to and literally put on the block in case Johnny played an idol. Why the fuck would he work with me? The answer is he WONT. He’s gonna campaign to jakee and Bryan to get me out. Lucky for John, Bryan already doesn’t trust me! So my key here is Jake. If I get Jake on my side I stand a chance. Worst case scenario, I whip out my idol and guarantee I merge. I’m not tryna be like Johnny and get voted out with an idol... hell no. I’m here to make the merge. If I can just reunite with my people I’m set. I got autumn, ned, Haley, Ryan, and Brandon on lock. I possibly have Dane. I gotta work on jake man. Jake is my key to merge. 

OWEN HOW DARE YOU!!! WE WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!! http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/03/12/2691AE1E00000578-2991334-image-m-16_1426163660149.jpg He is so ugly for this/ I specifically told him not to. WE JUST FUCKING SWAPPED!?!?! Y'all don't understand I've been on every tribe in the past week and I'm tired. Every time I create a good spot and feel halfway good about myself, a twistos twist fucks it up and I'm not as young as these other kids. My trash iPhone 5S and I need to be seated and given a warning every time because we really do short circuit when things pop off. My Skype crashes as much as ocean waves whenever shit hits the fan and like my heart is already about to stop anyway from all the Coca Cola I drink and chronic stress I've endured for the past 23 years but like... that's all the more reason to not do so many swaps or at least give me a goddamn warning. I was at work and when I opened the app to see a Optio Tribe chat at the top of my messages?? https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D4K3XRRUIfI/WSs5kEir86I/AAAAAAAAEG4/O8CAhB5P57gO7RGi9aiGx_A7ZZxI0ReTgCLcB/s1600/giphy3.gif NOT TO MENTION work and Athena All Stars are competing to be the ultimate bane of my existence so if Crossroads could like not join the running, that'd be great. Like am I on a tribe of people I like trust? Yes, yes I am- miracles happen everyday. But am I now separated from Ned AND Chris?? Yes and that's not funny. Do I have to start over for the THIRD TIME in this game? Yes I do and the next announcement better be merge or I'll scream

I cannot believe I did THAT, I’m so proud of myself!!! I’ve never won a comp like that before! And I can’t believe chris got it a minute after me! Original impala is here to compete and win! I’m so glad we are safe especially during this double tribal, I’m shook. Ned and I will be the only ones to have never been to tribal after this!! And honestly I love ned so much, he’s definitely my f2. I’ve talked very little to Haley or Ryan so I’m glad we don’t have tribal here. 

I really slept in and woke up to find that not only did Optio lose the challenge, but now I have to pick between 3 allies and get a majority before they start talking and realize I know all of them well and am the smartest bet to send home https://media.tenor.com/images/1e425f0991c66cd840f78b389e84f5c9/tenor.gif I mean Brandon will read all of this eventually but the vote is him because Imperium ties run deep and feminism. I've been aligned with Dane from the jump #kidsnextdoor so when we got reunited, he was ecstatic to see me and was down to do whatever if we lost. That kinda loyalty is hard to find soooo I can't vote him out. Rebecka and I have history (which only Chris knows about) and played most of Athena Himalayas together so voting her out is just fake. I trust her waaaay more than any of these people so I have to put my money where my mouth is and prove my loyalty. Her and I never got it right in Himalayas so I'm not voting her out or dropping her name. Does this mean I'm betraying Brandon? Yes and that sucks. Is it better than the consequences of betraying Dane or Rebecka? Absolutely I've also learned that Brandon flipped votes to get Rhone out, which spooked Rebecka, and Dane is very committed to our old alliance so when I told him Chris and Brandon were tight, he wasn't having it. Also he's got bigger problems like his beef with Julia so he has to stay around I wanna watch that up close hahaha. Brandon's a great competitor so as great of a friend/ally as he is, I can't beat him in the end (not that he would ever take me over Chris). And I sure as hell can't let Brandon flip Dane or Rebecka on me because he's 100% smart enough and social enough. Sooo it's done- almost everyone has casted votes and I've made my peace with my ugly savage self. BRANDON IM SORRY BLAME OWEN ITS HIS TWISTOS TWIST!!! Highkey wouldn't have turned on you if we'd been put with other people so it essentially is Owen's fault. Ok done scamming for the day- no one tell karma anything I just said! https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/9WRvREpZJp5kMg4z8BwZqqC-XkQ/fit-in/1024x1024/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2016/11/14/049/n/1922398/3167f7e419274941_57c736261700000011c76cb6/i/Bye.gif

This round has been a roller coaster of stress, excitement, disappointment, and terror. First of all, we had our suspicions that "teaming up" would lead to a swap, but I don't think anyone seriously thought we'd be put into three tribes of FOUR. In a tribe this small, there's nowhere to hide. Sam and I decided early on to team up, because at this point, I trust her more than both Dane and Bryan, and Julia wanted to be on her own team so she could be exiled. Sam and I were put with Haley and Ryan on Imperium. #Imperium4Lyfe I trust Haley because she aligned with Chris on the old Fatum tribe, but Ryan kind of sketches me out. I was already preparing to either blindside Ryan or play my idol, because the immunity challenge was frickin impossible and the TWO losing tribes are going to Tribal. We had to guess a 7-digit code to find a secret page on the blog, and every thirty minutes or so we'd receive a relatively useless clue like "the sum of the first three digits is less than the sum of the last three digits." Ultimately, I decided to use my challenge advantage, which gave us two extra hints. This morning, Sam and I created a system that listed every possible code. Once we realized we had narrowed it down to around 36 combinations, it became a race against time to see how quickly we could enter each code on our phones. It turns out that we NEEDED my advantage, as Sam found the secret page literally SECONDS before Chris did on another tribe. I'm slightly suspicious that the double Tribal may just result in the two people voted out switching tribes, but then Julia would be exiled for another round and that doesn't seem very likely. Either way, I'm just happy to be safe for another round. Sam and I were just talking about how awesome we are together, as the two OG Imperiums who haven't gone to Tribal at all. I was really starting to feel like we could dominate the merge together, but then she said "You're my ride or die." https://i.imgur.com/JKVZSFJ.gif Those are the same words I never wanted to hear from Sam again, because that's word-for-word what she said to me in our first game together right before she backstabbed me. I guess the old saying is true: keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Okay things are finally heating up for me! When we swapped tribes Chris told me he was happy we were on the same tribes blah blah blah but I've seen through him for a while now so I don't trust him. Bryan is the only person who swapped with me so we talked and he said that he was good with Chris and didn't trust John because of what happened when he got sent to their tribal. I talked to John and I want him to stay mainly bc we basically live in the same city and I think we have sort of a bond cus of that. Also because I think Chris is a social threat and I'd like to take him out now before merge in case he groups up with his allies. Things are really complicated and messy right now. I'm telling John everything that's going on. Chris is lying and saying that John wants to target Bryan to Bryan to get him to vote out John but I don't want that. I'm trying to get Bryan to realize that Chris is a threat. Bryan however thinks that he'll be an easy target at merge which could be true but I really want to merge with John because I think he will have a lot of trust in me for trying to save him. It's complicated and with only 4 people voting and the chance of a tiebreaker I am still nervous. Anything could happen. I could be getting lied to. It's complicated. The only person who I think I trust fully right now is John. I hope Chris doesn't have an idol an I hope the don't fake out and vote me out. The best cast scenario for me is that Chris gets voted out and I merge. Worst case is that I get voted out lol, but if I have to lose John to merge then I lose John. I just need to keep myself safe while going the route that I think will benefit me the most in the long run.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vgoUMfYTNY0

SOOO, I won a challenge. I won the reward. And bitch, guess tf what. I made merge, jury, and the f11. BITCH YES. SO I put my ass to work on that puzzle to secure thati could make jury. Took me like 3 hrs, but I did it. Next, NED WON IMMUNITY SO HE IS GOING TO BE SAFE WITH ME. HELL YES. HELL YESSSS. I am living atm. 

Ok. So looks like the vote is falling on John. Tbh I’d rather have both John and Chris go but alas that seems to not be the case. I don’t wanna vote Chris out just yet. John is a subtle player but Chris plays really hard, he did on og imperium and he is now. It’d be really easy to paint a target on his back at merge if I have to. But anyways I really like having Jake as an ally. We really click. But me and Chris told John that we are voting out Jake. So it’ll probably be a 3-1 vote with John going bye bye. But John gave me some tea. That Haley went after Emily and then Nicole. Honestly the girl gives me the “not like other girls” vibe. It’s not cool and I really want her gone come merge as well. 

Ok so I lied in my last confessional I guess. I’m voting out Chris now. Woo. I never trusted him anyways. But John seems really desperate for an ally and me and Jake talked it over and decided to change our decision to Chris. Hopefully my old imperium people don’t get mad at me...

Im glad we won. FINALLY. and i did nothing. Haley and I or just I was gonna use my idol if we went to tribal which we didn't. xoxo

Tonight is rough. I’d like to think Jake and Bryan are with me and are voting John out. John should be voted out tonight. I have a idol if I get bad vibes at tribal but I’m not sure I want to play it. If I save it I am in a strong position at the merge. But I really wanna fucking merge man. I have a tough decision. 

Voting Brandon out, this ones for rhone 

(beginning of round) WELL. That last vote did not go as I planned at all... Johnny is out of this game.. and EVERYONE lied to me last round. Every person. I am definitely a bit hurt by Stoner because he was telling me that he wanted to be a trio with Johnny and I just a few hours before our tribal. He really showed his colors. Ryan said he planned this right after Haley got back. I am a bit bitter but I can get over it with them cause I need to survive another day. I feel like I have nobody now. A lone coffey. I am ready to work my way back to the top.

(After immunity)I made it to my birthday without getting voted out!! I was so busy doing birthday things that I failed to realize we tribe swapped again!!! I am ona tribe with Stoner, Jake, and Bryan! I haven't seen Bryan since the very first tribal where we voted out Emily. Which now that I think of it, I think the curse of fatum all started with the blindside of Emily and Bryan. Jake lives 20 mins from me so we clicked right off the bat, and we rekindled the friendship we had formed in one world fast. Stoner came to me saying he wouldn't blame me for gunning for him, but I told him that I would not go for him if he wouldn't go for me. We lose the challenge. And Jake informs me that Chris is targeting me!!!! WONDERFUL! When Chris lied to me the first time I was hurt, but he has been continuously lying to me the entire day and now it is pissing me off and making me a vengeful boy. Jake suggested that I made a plea to Bryan, and that is what I did. I threw Chris's name out there and told him how he seems to have so many personal connections with people, and he makes them think they are his number one. I fell victim to him once. Not again. I explained the Emily vote to Bryan, telling him how Emily was trying to form a girls alliance, and I let him know that Haley was the one that planned that whole thing. It led to the discussion that Bryan would like Haley out first when we get to the merge. After a bit of talking to Bryan he told me he was down to vote Chris out and I couldn't be more ecstatic. This is the sweetest revenge at the perfect time. I am telling Chris that I will vote Jake out because I "never talk to him". Half my afternoon consisted of me telling Chris things and then Jake relaying them back to me LMAO. Tribal will be a fun one. This one's for you Johnny!

I have never left impala, I’ll truly miss this little camp. But I’m so excited for merge, and new people!! And connecting with original impala again! And John Coffey <3

[12/30/2017 1:50:05 PM] BDC: I feel like this might be my time hahah [12/30/2017 1:50:21 PM] BDC: I don’t feel confident whatsoever [12/30/2017 1:53:19 PM] BDC: I messaged both Dane and rebecka and neither have answered but they are talking in the tribe chat together [12/30/2017 1:53:26 PM] BDC: So like .... [12/30/2017 2:51:58 PM] BDC: Trying to get the vote at 2-1-2 [12/30/2017 2:52:06 PM] BDC: Me and autumn are voting rebecka [12/30/2017 2:52:20 PM] BDC: And we are telling them to vote me and autumn [12/30/2017 2:52:39 PM] BDC: I think Dane would be the one most likely to have an idol so [12/30/2017 2:52:48 PM] BDC: Not gonna risk voting him [12/30/2017 2:53:09 PM] BDC: Plus I already like insisted to rebecka that I wasn’t voting her because of old tribal lines

[12/30/2017 3:13:38 PM] BDC: Hoping for the best [12/30/2017 3:22:37 PM] BDC: Rebecka said she’s voting autumn [12/30/2017 3:22:44 PM] BDC: And autumn should be voting rebecka [12/30/2017 3:22:51 PM] BDC: So I should be in the clear? [12/30/2017 3:23:52 PM] BDC: If I can survive this I’ll hopefully make merge and jury [12/30/2017 3:24:07 PM] BDC: That’s all I need so I don’t care who I piss off tonight 

I really feel like I’m leaving tonight hahaha