#like i would not have almost burst into tears in the middle of the pharmacy if these stupid name brand ones actually worked

[threecheersmaka]

Pretty sure I made my pharmacists think I’m a fucking junkie so that’s great 😐

[kelyon]

Courtship 14: Bridesmaids

Lacey tells her friends about the wedding

Read on AO3

Wednesday morning, Miss French opened Game of Thorns and worked the morning shift, accompanied by the sullen, silent presence of her father. At noon, she got ready for her weekly lunch with Janine and Mara. She decided to wear all new clothes today. The future Mrs. Gold had to look her best at all times. 

She started with a tight gray pencil skirt that went down to her knees. At Modern Fashions, she had managed to find thick socks that went up to her thighs but didn’t connect in the middle. That would keep her warm while still following Mr. Gold’s rule about having as little as possible covering her up. The socks were boring black, so she livened up the look with a pair of burgundy leather boots. Her top was a luscious maroon, almost see-through if she didn’t wear a camisole underneath. She had camisoles now, five of the same shirt in different colors. Once, that would have been an unthinkable luxury.

The only thing she didn’t have new was underwear. Modern Fashions had a limited selection of black and beige granny panties, and the bras were equally dumpy. Miss French deserved something more interesting than that. Well, Mr. Gold deserved something more interesting than that. She had been waiting for the right opportunity to visit Mara’s lingerie boutique. Maybe today, after lunch, after she picked up her birth control from the pharmacy. 

Leaning into her mirror to put makeup on, Miss French tried not to contemplate what being on birth control would mean for her. Of course she didn’t want kids now, so Mr. Gold was right to stop that process before it could start. But she had always thought that she’d have children someday. Some nebulous future after college and a career and a husband and a house. Of course, those blurry dreams always had Mom around, enjoying being a grandmother.

“Fuck!” She’d stabbed herself with her eyeliner pencil. Tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly blotted them with toilet paper. “Fucking cheap shit.”

She would get new makeup at the pharmacy. Mr. Gold had given her enough money for it. She’d buy out the whole department, get the most expensive brands in every color they had. 

Blinking and squinting, Miss French salvaged the rest of her eye makeup. Examining herself in the mirror, she looked good. She looked like Miss French, like the future Mrs. Gold. This was her first time showing off this side of herself to the big wide world. She’d better make a damn good impression.

****

This time, it was Mara who was first at Granny’s. When she saw Miss French from across the diner, she mimed a face of shock and awe. 

“You look so good!” she said. “What’s going on? Do you have a business meeting later? Are you pitching Game of Thorns to some venture capitalists in Boston?”

“No, nothing like that,” Miss French laughed. She took off her hat and new coat, but left her gloves on. “I do have good news, but I want to wait until Janine gets here before I say anything.”

They didn’t wait long. Janine burst in, her salon smock peeking out from underneath her parka. After a round of hugs, she slid in the booth next to Mara. 

“Hey strangers,” she said. “Sorry I’m late. The month started yesterday and I am booked.”

“Told you!” Mara said. “One week! That’s all it takes to flip your life upside down.”

Miss French laughed at that, a little too loudly. It was true! A week ago she had just finished her first date with Mr. Gold and now she was getting ready to marry him. 

“Hey.” She put her gloved hand flat on the table to get their attention. “You guys order whatever you want, okay? Full meals. It’s on me.” 

“Ooh, la di da!” Mara grinned. “Does this have to do with your good news?”

“You have good news?” Janine asked. “God knows we need more of that.”

“Let’s order first.” Miss French hid her coy smile behind her menu. 

When Ruby the waitress stopped by the table, Janine and Mara both looked at her for confirmation before they ordered. She nodded enthusiastically. 

“So,” Mara said when they were done. “Spill the beans. What the heck is going on?”

Miss French took a deep breath. Her heart was racing. She tried to pretend it was just excitement, that she didn’t have a shred of fear about telling her two best friends the best news of her life. 

Slowly, deliberately, she took off first her right glove, then her left. She held out her left hand for them to see her ring. It took them a second to put the pieces together.

“Oh my God,” Janine whispered. “Did you get married?”

“Not yet,” Miss French said. “This is sort of a combination, an engagement ring and a wedding ring at the same time.”

“Wha--” Mara kept shaking her head. “When? Who?”

“There’s a man that I’ve been dating for a while. I wasn’t sure what it was so I didn’t want to tell you guys, but then on Sunday he proposed.”

“Oh my God!” Janine squealed. “That’s amazing! But I can’t believe you didn’t tell us! You sneak!” 

“It all happened pretty fast,” Miss French admitted. 

“How fast?” Mara asked. “How long have you had a secret lover?”

Miss French giggled. “Not too fast. I know getting married is a big step, but I really think I’m ready for it. And of course I want you two to be my bridesmaids.”

“Oh, Lacey!” Janine’s smile filled up her face. “Of course! God, we used to dream about being in each other’s weddings!”

“Have you set a date yet?” Mara asked. “And who the heck is your husband?” 

“It’s actually coming up really fast,” Miss French said. “It’s gonna be on February twelfth, at Dodici’s.”

“Wait, the twelfth? Next Saturday?” Mara looked her up and down. “Are you pregnant?”

“No!”

“It’d be okay if you were. We’d support you.” That came from Janine, who was already supporting her mother and sister--and failing at it.

“I’m not!” Miss French repeated. “That’s not what’s going on.”

“Yeah, Uncle Moe isn’t really the shotgun type.”

“So why so fast?” Mara asked.

Miss French shrugged. “When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

“Who is this guy?” Mara was almost shouting now. “You never talked this way when you were dating Hunter.”

“Yeah, and Hunter was a catch,” Janine said. “Cool, rich and gorgeous? You were so lucky.”

“He was alright,” Miss French shrugged. “But I’m doing a lot better than Hunter now.”

“A lot better with…?” 

Mara wouldn’t let this go. The fact that it was a perfectly reasonable question only made it more awkward that she didn’t want to answer. For just a few more minutes, she wanted to bask in her friends’ celebration. She wanted to stay in the fantasy that they would embrace and support her and the man she chose to marry. That they would have no reason not to. 

She got a break when Ruby came back with their lunches. The waitress set their orders down, made sure everything was correct, and went on her way.

“I’m serious, Lacey,” Mara said as she took a bite of her lobster roll. “If you don’t tell us who you’re marrying, I’m gonna drag you into the harbor by your nostrils and stick you under water until you do.”

Miss French smiled sheepishly, and added extra pickles to her burger. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to freak out.”

“Why would we freak out?” Janine cut into her lasagna. 

“Well, my dad freaked out when I told him. So did my uncle Manny.”

“Yeah, well they’re old farts,” Mara said. “We’re the hip, cool, new generation. And we’re your friends, so we’re on your side no matter what.”

“Really?” Lacey’s heart leapt to her throat..

“Yeah!” Mara said. Janine nodded her agreement. 

“Okay,” Miss French took a deep breath. “And just… understand that this isn’t as bad as you might think it is.”

“Why all these cautions?” Mara asked. “Did you sell your soul to Lucifer or something?”

“No,” she said softly. “No, it’s not like that. It’s… It’s Mr. Gold.”

There was a moment’s silence. 

Janine’s eyebrows furrowed. “What about Mr. Gold?”

“It’s him. He’s the man. I’m… going to marry him.”

Her friends’ expressions were exactly the same: Shock giving way to horror and sorrow. Janine set her fork down and looked at her lasagna like she had found a severed thumb inside it. Mara kept trying to say something and kept failing. 

“W-W-W-Why?” she finally managed. “Lacey, are you okay? Does he have something over you? You know you have options. You can go to Sheriff Graham. Do you need us to give you money?”

“You don’t have money,” Miss French said coolly. “And I told you, this isn’t a bad thing. I like Mr. Gold. I want to marry him.”

“You--you can’t,” Janine sounded like she was about to cry. “He’s so old. And he’s so horrible.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“You can only say that because you don’t owe him money.” 

“No, I owe him more than that,” she said. “He’s given me things you can’t even imagine. And I love it. I want more of it. I’m going to marry him and I want you guys to be there with me. Please.”

Mara set down her lobster roll. She seemed to have put together where all this newfound cash was coming from. 

“He’ll pay for your dresses!” Miss French tried. “And Janine, you can do my hair! Do one of those crazy updos you like to do? I’ll pay you for your time!”

“Lacey,” her cousin whispered. 

“Me being in this position will be a good thing for all of us,” she went on. “Mr. Gold throws money at me, I can pass it on! I can help you guys!”

“Oh my God, he pays you?” Disgust painted Mara’s face. “And you take it?”

“Yeah, I take everything he gives me,” Miss French snapped. “Take it any way he wants me to.”

“And you’re proud of this?” Mara shook her head. “Lacey, don’t you know what this makes you?”

“A whore,” Miss French said bluntly. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m marrying him, so I won’t be a whore anymore.”

“What will you be?” Mara went on. “You think people will call you any less of a golddigger just because you’re wearing a ring? Do you think he won’t know you’re bought and paid for? Lacey, he’ll use that as an excuse to do anything to you!”

“That’s what I’m hoping for!”

“I mean he’ll treat you like shit. This is a classic recipe for you being in danger.”

“I’m not in danger.” She rolled her eyes. “Mr. Gold isn’t a monster. He’s just a man who gets what he wants--and right now, he wants me! I think that’s great!”

Janine seemed to have shut down for a few minutes. When she finally looked up, her sky blue eyes were full of tears. “You’ll be a totally different person once you’re married to him. You’re already different.”

“Yeah, that’s the point,” Miss French said sharply. “I want to be different. I want to be better. Mr. Gold is my ticket to an actual life and not just scraping by to survive all the time. And I can find ways to take you with me! He told me he wants me to take care of you two. We can do this together!”

“Do you mean…?” Mara made a face. 

“No! No, of course not.”

“He’ll ask for something like that,” Janine said. “You know a man like that is probably some kind of pervert.”

“He’s the best kind of pervert,” Miss French told them proudly. “He’s the kind of pervert I’m into.” 

“Oh my God.” Janine covered her mouth with her hand. “How could you do this, Lacey?”

Defeated, Miss French slumped in her booth. “Why did I think you two would be different? Like, I understand my dad going apeshit because I’m having sex with a man he personally hates, but I thought you guys would get it.”

“He’s a bad man,” Janine whispered. “He’ll make you do bad things.”

She scoffed. “You sound like a child. That’s how Chloe would understand the world.”

“She’s not wrong,” Mara said. “I don’t think this relationship is good for you, and I know that being married to him will be worse. Worse for you, Lacey. He will hurt you!”

“That’s what I get off on,” Miss French said in a catty stage whisper. “I like the way Mr. Gold treats me. I want to be the person he thinks I can be.”

“Oh God!” Janine said again. She pushed herself away from the table and ran crying into the bathroom.

Mara gave her a withering look, then ran after her friend.

Miss French stayed where she was. She ate her burger, and waited for them to come back. They would come back. If nothing else, they wouldn’t waste a free lunch. 

Would they?

After waiting for half an hour, she tossed a fifty on the table and left. 

****

She stormed the short walk from Granny’s to Dark Star Pharmacy. Those fucking bitches. Those small-minded, puritanical idiots! Couldn’t they see what was right in front of them? Were they so blinded by hate and fear that anything to do with Mr. Gold automatically became unclean? Who were they to tell her what she could and couldn’t do? Who were they to judge her? Fucking virgins, so obsessed with being good they’d never get a chance be alive.

She ground her teeth.

It wasn’t fair. She wanted to be with Mr. Gold. He made her feel happy, he made her feel everything. Why couldn’t anyone in her life understand that? Why did gaining him mean she had to lose them?

Was it really too much to ask for both?

When she got to the pharmacy, she grabbed a basket and immediately started filling it with the most expensive things you could find in a drug store in Storybrooke. The brand-name organic lotion in all the offbeat scents? She got one of each. The salon-approved shampoo and conditioner for curly hair? Yes please! Shaving cream and razors, nail polish and face masks, she got all of it. Everything she’d ever thought was too indulgent to spend on herself. Everything she used to think she was a better person for not using. Lacey French hadn’t needed to fuss over her appearance, her brains would carry her everywhere.

But she wasn’t that girl anymore. Mrs. Gold would be a stupid slut and she’d have more luxuries than that delusional child could ever have dreamed of.

She rounded the corner and found herself in the magazine aisle. There was a girl, maybe twelve or so, with lank dark hair and owlish eyes that were too big for her face. She was staring at the magazines, at the models and celebrities with big boobs and perfect smiles. Her expression was something between rapture and starvation. 

Lacey recognized the feeling. The bone-deep hunger for the lives that you knew were fake but wanted to be real. It was frivolity and vanity, but it was also joy and glamour. To be the girl everyone looked at--or even just the girl who could fit in with the girls everyone looked at. To be wanted and idolized. To always wear the right clothes, say the right words, be the right person. To be pretty, effortlessly pretty. To sparkle and shine and feel like you can do anything.

And then to hate yourself for wanting something you’d never have. Something that no one ever really has. Even the models on the magazines don’t really live the life they’re selling. You’re smart enough to know it's a lie but you still hate yourself for not having it. You want to believe in the dream, want it so much more than anything in your real life. 

The girl looked at Miss French, head tilted, mouth open a little. The kid was dressed in loose jeans and dirty sneakers. Her top half was covered by an insulated hoodie big enough to belong to a grown man. She looked at Miss French in a form-fitting wool coat and burgundy boots. She looked at the styled hair, the makeup it had taken her half an hour to get right. 

Miss French caught the girl’s eye and winked. “It gets better,” she said. “You won’t be in middle school forever.”

Then she grabbed a copy of Vogue and a copy of Cosmopolitan and put them in her basket. It was getting heavy now, so she might as well check out. She went to the prescription pick-up counter and waited for Mr. Clark, the short little pharmacist who was always sneezing. 

“Hi!” she said when he came to the counter. It was easier now to be bright and chipper, to play the role of Mr. Gold’s fiancee. “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

“Oh right.” Mr. Clark nodded, then turned his head to sneeze into his elbow. “Dr. Whale called me at home last night for this. He said the order came from Mr. Gold?”

“Mmm-hmm!” Miss French smiled. 

Mr. Clark gave her a puzzled look. “You’re Lacey French, right? From the flower shop? Why is Gold throwing his weight around to get you an express prescription?”

Her anger came back with a vengeance. She didn’t owe answers to a pharmacist. She was going to be Mrs. Gold. She didn’t owe anything to anyone. At that moment, something inside her turned sharp and hard and brittle. The hot lava of her rage solidified into an obsidian blade.

She smiled.

“Well you can see what the pills are, can’t you?” Her voice was cheerful and patronizing, like she was talking to a kindergartner she was trying not to murder. 

“Yeah.” The pharmacist was oblivious. He looked down at the label on the white paper bag. “It’s birth control.”

Miss French leaned over the counter to get in his snot-nosed face. “Why do you think Mr. Gold is buying me birth control? Hmm? I’ll give you a hint--it’s not so I can fuck anybody else!”

“Jesus,” he whispered. “Look, I’m sorry, I--” He turned away for another sneeze, then came back, wiping his nose. He stuck the used tissue in his pants pocket. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Yeah, well you did,” Miss French said. “So why don’t you just check me out and I can move on with my life?”

The pharmacist exhaled a long breath. After a quick moment to douse his hands with sanitizer, he began to ring up her stuff.

****

As she left the pharmacy, Miss French looked down the street towards Mr. Gold’s shop. Part of her wanted to run to him. She wanted to take refuge in the steady warmth of his presence. She wanted to unburden herself, tell him what a rotten day she was having, that she’d been betrayed and abandoned by people she’d known since she was born. Maybe he would listen to her, maybe he’d have good advice. Or maybe he’d just fuck her until those bitches didn’t matter anymore. Maybe he’d punish her for needing them so much in the first place.  

But he hadn’t asked her to visit him today, and she didn’t want to interrupt his work. She couldn’t go demanding his time and attention over every little thing that bothered her. Mr. Gold was a busy man, an important man. When he focused on her, it was because she was important. She couldn’t ask for that all the time. 

Besides, she was an adult. She could deal with stuff on her own, especially this petty shit. Mr. Gold had given her money and a shadow of his power. She wore his ring and soon she would have his name. What did it matter what lesser people thought of her? What did it matter that a pharmacist gawked? What did it matter that a hairdresser and a lingerie seller might never talk to her again?

She was going to be Mrs. Gold. She had better start acting like it.    

[teenyweenynightghost]

Haii!! I absolutely adore your writing and was wondering if you would be up to write something comforting with Ethan where reader is having the period from hell? Thank you ❤

Oh ho ho this should be fun

Y/n was sleeping over at Ethan’s for the first time. She had feelings for him for god knows how long, and the night he asked her out was probably the happiest she had ever been.

Their date had been unbelievable. Y/n felt as if time stopped and she was the only person on Earth along with Ethan, as cheesy as that may sound

When it started raining, they both hurried to his car and drove quickly to his place.

“God, I didn’t think the night would end like this.” Y/n chuckled, draining her hair in Ethan’s bathtub, while he was brushing his teeth next to her.

“You can sleep in one of my shirts.” Ethan mumbled, almost choking on the tooth paste

“What?”

“I said” he spit out all the paste and rinsed his mouth “you can sleep in one of my shirts.”

Y/n’s heart skipped a bit and she blushed a bit at his suggestion, before nodding sheepishly and putting her hair in a bun.

Ethan chuckled and muttered a few words Y/n didn’t quite catch, before leaving the room.

In a few moments, he came back with a large t-shirt. It was burgundy and had a logo in the middle. Ethan gave it to Y/n and left her alone to change

That night she had fallen asleep in his warm embrace, listening to the rain drops hit the windows

She felt as if it was a dream come true, and the only thought on her mind was Ethan

Luckily for her, Ethan felt the exact same way

He held her close all night, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, and dreamed of her

Ethan woke up to a slap. He opened his eyes grumpily and looked for the source of pain, only to see Y/n turned away from him, in that position all girls sleep in; the one where they have a leg up and they’re on their stomach

That’s when he saw that Y/n had started her period

There was a large, red stain seeping through her underwear and another few spots on the bedding

Damn, he shouldn’t have put on white ones

Stretching a bit and getting out of bed, he started to think about what he could do.

He didn’t know how much Y/n trusted him or how she would react to this, so the two smartest choices that he had were to either wake her up and tell her what happened, or prepare everything for when se would wake up

Eventually, he decided going for the latter.

Heading to the living room and grabbing his keys , he got in the car and drove to the nearest pharmacy around.

The man was walking down the unbearably white aisles of the pharmacy, looking for some ibuprofen and tampons

He really didn’t know what type Y/n used, and he wasn’t about to be like that dude on TikTok who asked his girlfriend what size pussy she was, so he took 4 types

Maybe different colors would mean something…or maybe scent?

He made a mental reminder to ask Y/n if they had any flavors

After searching forever, he ended up having a kilogram of pads, three types of sheet masks and a new lotion, but no pain medication

They must have been hidden

Eventually giving up, he went to the cashier and placed all the products on the register

“Tough times with the lady?” The woman asked, sending him an all-too knowing smirk

“I hope not. Speaking of which, do you happen to have any pain medication?”

Ethan left the store smirking, having received a 20% discount for being “so cute”, and he also got a small chapstick as a gift

His next stop was the grocery shop

He already knew what he needed, so the trip would be easy; Twix, KitKat, Puffy Cheetos, Aloe Drink, and A LOT of Chocolate milk

It didn’t take long for him to find everything, so he wondered around the shop for a little longer, picking up a few more things

Y/n was startled awake by some people screaming outside

She jumped out of bed and hurried to the window, only to see that they were a group of friends who were just pranking one another

She groaned and pressed a hand to her stomach, feeling a painful hotness around the area

Looking back at the bed, her heart stopped in her chest as she saw that there was a trail of blood behind her

Oh gods, her period came in the worst moment possible. Did Ethan see? Did he run away out of disgust?

She paced around the room nervously, thinking of what to do, yet ignoring the sound of running water coming from the bathroom

She shrieked when she heard a knock on the door and tried to hide the bloodied sheets as well as she could.

“Cara mia, are you awake?” Ethan’s soft voice was muffled by the door, which only made Y/n feel worse.

“No?”

She heard Ethan chuckle before seeing him enter the room. He seemed to have a reassuring look on his face, but Y/n could tell there was some pity in there too.

“Wanna come with me?” He asked her softly, taking her silky hand in his and leading her to the bathroom before she could answer

Y/n watched as he opened the door to the bathroom and led her inside. The shower was running and there were some clothes on the counter

“Get in the shower. I’ll take care of everything else.” He said, looking at Y/n so softly that her heart exploded and she burst into a fit of tears

His armed were around her in a second, comforting her as best as he could, but he truly did not know the reason why she was crying

“Baby, is everything all right? Why are you crying?” He asked her, worry written all over his face.

“Im sorry…I’m just” she sniffled a bit, shedding a few more tears, “no one ever took care of me when I was on my period and you’re being so fucking sweet and I ruined your sheets and everything is wrong and my stomach hurts and FUCK why did It have to come now we could have-“

“Woah, woah, woah, take a deep breath, dolcezza. Like that, just relax.” He interrupted her ramblings, wiping the tears off her face.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about the sheets. I’ll clean them later. We can just stay in bed all day and relax. How does that sound?”

Y/n nodded slightly against his shoulder, pulling herself away and wiping her face.

“Okay.” Her voice was still raspy, and she looked at the shower. At that moment, washing her entire body felt like an unbelievably long and exhausting process. She slumped her shoulders at the thought of it and puffed.

“Let me wash you. It’ll go by quicker.”

Y/n nodded and started taking her clothes off, too exhausted to care about Ethan’s red face. Even though he had offered, he couldn’t help but think about other circumstances in which he would get in a shower with Y/n.

Regardless, it was not the time for such things.

Once she was inside, he grabbed the shampoo and squirted some in his hand, thinking of a way to lather it on Y/n without getting wet.

“Now how are you gonna do that without ending up in the shower too, Mr Edgar?” Y/n teased, letting her head fall back as the warm water glided down her body.

While trying to find a solution, Ethan’s gaze fell on the floor, which was now filled with blood.

“Y/n are you alright?” His tone instantly changed, now being extremely worried about how much blood came out of her.

“Yeah. Why?” She followed his gaze to the ground, seeing what he was staring at. She let out a low laugh before grabbing the bottle from Ethan.

“It’s creepy, I know. You don’t have to wash me.”

“No. I said I would help and I want to. Do you mind if I join in?” He asked sheepishly, concerned about crossing any boundaries with the girl.

“Whatever floats your boat.”

The man nodded, getting out and taking his clothes off. He placed them neatly next to Y/n’s, then got back in the shower.

Y/n was facing the wall, so Ethan pressed a soft kiss to her neck from behind her.

“I bought some goodies too.”

Y/n just hummed in response, leaning against Ethan. His hands instinctively went to her shoulders and started massaging them, earning a few whimpers from Y/n

“I can give you a massage later…”

“Absolutely.”

They both chuckled a bit, before Ethan got to actually cleaning Y/n. He softly lathered the soap all over her body, letting the water wash away the bubbles.

“Okay…I’m gonna leave you alone now, considering that I don’t know how to put on a tampon.”

“Alright.” Y/n responded, blushing slightly from all the contact. She heard Ethan take a towel and dry himself off, before getting dressed and leaving.

Ethan was in the kitchen, his phone in front of him as he sat prompted against the counter

Now close your eyes, and with a deep breath, release all the pent up frustration inside of you

“Um, Ethan? You said you had food?”

The brunette jumped up and hurried to close his phone, blushing furiously as he turned towards Y/n.

“Yes, right it’s over th-“

“Were you meditating?”

“Maybe.”

“You were.” (The bitch was so horny he had to reset his mind)

“You said you wanted food.” He finally managed to switch the topic, as Y/n’s eyes lit up.

“Gimmie.” She stretched out her arms and closed her hands repetitively, beckoning for Ethan to give her the snacks.

“Alright, alright. I’ll grab a few more things and come. Just go in the bathroom and get in bed.”

Y/n pouted, but eventually followed Ethan’s instructions. She was surprised to see that he had changed the sheets and lit up a few candles. She smiled to herself before cuddling up under the blankets.

Soon enough, Ethan entered the room with some snacks and drinks, a hot pouch and some medication.

“Here is some ibuprofen, if you have cramps, and a hot pouch.”

Y/n could have moaned in pleasure when she placed the hot object on her stomach, relieving a lot of the pain.

She gulped down the pills, cuddling into Ethan, who had an arm wrapped around her and another one massaging her butt.

He nuzzled into her neck, smiling a bit and breathing in her chocolatey scent.

“Squishy.” He joked, squeezing her butt, which made Y/n erupt in a mess of giggles.

She leaned over and grabbed a cereal bar, unwrapping it smoothly before shoving it down her throat.

“Thank you so much Ethan. I really don’t know how to tell you…no one has ever done this for me before.” She whispered, twirling a strand of his hair around her finger.

“I’ll always be here when you need me. Now you just need to sleep.”

“Okay…”

A/n: so i know this isn’t particularly a head canon, but the only way I can write is if my brain thinks im writing something short with bullet points, even though it would be a normal piece If I were to remove them😂

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug @immrbrightsideeee @shehaddreamstoo @tiaamberxx @victoriadeangeliswifey @bidet-and-legolas @makapaka11 @electra-phoebe

[katnissmellarkkk]

Dropping in to say your drabbles are precious gems <3

And if you're up for another little prompt: Katniss surprising Peeta - up to you what that surprise is!

Ummm sorry I meant to have Katniss surprise Peeta but it got switched in the middle of writing this because it seemed too in character that Peeta would know first !!!

And also this like became v emotional when it wasn’t supposed to be but idk what I was thinking when I came up with this idea because how would this moment not be emotional ???? 🤣🤣🤣 well anyways I hope you like it just the same!

“Peeta,” I mumble sleepily as his lips touch the side of my face in greeting.

“How’s my sweet girl?” He asks, his hand gently brushing aside my hair.

“I’m feeling just about the same,” I say but make an honest attempt to avoid sounding like I’m complaining. Even now, not many people in this country — let alone in District Twelve — could afford to laze around their home for three days straight. A few years ago, neither could I.

Peeta tugs me to roll over and face him, his lips moving now to my forehead, traveling from one side to the other, planting a dozen kisses along the way.

For the last few days I have been absolutely exhausted, and may be a little cranky. Constantly nauseous and at several points violently ill. Unable to eat any of the meat I’ve recently hunted. And incredibly over-emotional over the fact.

In fact, when I had to toss out the remains of a turkey I recently shot, Peeta had to console me before I burst into tears over it.

“Do you want me to get you anything?” He whispers, moving to kiss my mouth before I jerk my head away.

“Peeta, I don’t want you to get sick too.” After all, who would take care of me?

Okay, I didn’t mean that. I don’t want Peeta to get sick, frankly because it scares me to death. In some part because illness still makes me cringe and I’m still not healer like my mother and Prim. But mainly because it just serves to remind me of almost losing him in our first games, before I even really knew him.

But for some reason, my anxious statement makes him smirk. I wait for him to make some dumb joke, to poke fun at me, the way he always does like clockwork, but instead he makes better uses of his lips and presses them to my chin gently for a long moment before moving downwards towards my throat.

I sigh in happiness, in pure and utter contentment, relaxing back against the pillows and our mattress, enjoying the sensation of being kissed without worrying I’m going to pass whatever mysterious illness I obtained from the woods. That I magically got without interacting with almost anyone in the last six days.

I mean, I suppose it’s possible I caught it more than a week ago while helping Peeta at the bakery when he was short staffed, but it seems unlikely that I’d be the only one ill.

I close my eyes and try to stop thinking of who to blame for my current predicament. I relax back further into the mattress, trying to enjoy being showered with affection when Peeta decides to ruin the moment himself.

“So I called your mother this afternoon,” he starts, only able to get a sentence out before I’m interjecting.

“You want to talk about my mother? While kissing me?”

“She had some idea of what has you feeling so awful,” he continues as if I hadn’t spoken.

My brows knit together in confusion. Yes, she’s a talented healer who’s been doing it for most of her life, if not her entire life. But to diagnose me based on a phone call from my husband doesn’t sound like her.

Before I can press him though for more details, Peeta holds up a small, white paper bag that is specific to the pharmacy Twelve decided to add in when the town was rebuilt.

“Did she tell you to get a special medicine?” It doesn’t seem likely, since my mother is more about herbal remedies than the kind the Capitol used far too often for things as light as a common cold.

Peeta starts smirking at me again though and abruptly I get irritated. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“Katniss, I think you’re pregnant,” he blurts out, his grin only growing larger now.

And I’m instantly shocked into place, unsure how I didn’t guess this already myself. All my symptoms add up to it. And I’ve seen countless pregnant women that my mother treated when I was a kid. I know the signs well enough.

And Peeta and I recently decided to stop being careful and to see what happens.

But that was only like nine weeks ago that we agreed to that and I’m in my thirties and it’s not supposed to be so easy to get pregnant and I’m suddenly I’m sitting up too quickly and my heart is racing and I feel nauseous once again.

Peeta though sees my reaction and moves to cradle me close in his arms. “Hey, I’m sorry,” he says but I can still see the elation in his eyes even as I avoid them now. “I didn’t mean to shock you like that. And we don’t even know if it’s true yet-“

“It is,” I suddenly assert with full confidence. “I’ve been cramping but never got my period. And it’s never been this late before.”

I chance a glance up at Peeta, feeling absolutely terrified but not wanting to bring him down with my fears.

He doesn’t seem surprised though by my anxious demeanor and he lifts me up into his lap as easily as he lifts over his shoulder the same flour sacks I have to drag. “I know you’re scared, Katniss.”

I shrug it off but suddenly my eyes are watering uncontrollably and I curse my stupid hormones and stupid fears and my stupid brain for not knowing sooner than I was pregnant.

After all, who’s husband knows before them?

“Don’t cry, sweetheart,” Peeta whispers, leaning down to kiss me again, this time on my lips as there’s clearly no danger of spreading my sickness to him now.

“I’m sorry, I know I should be happy,” I immediately stammer out but he just shakes his head insistently.

“Katniss, I’m scared too. But it’s going to be okay. I promise you, everything will be okay.” His eyes, so blue and gentle and loving, bring on another round of tears and I find myself turning to hug myself around his neck, burrowing my face in his chest, where I can hear his heartbeat against my ear.

It’s there that I feel the most safe. It’s there I feel safe to voice my greatest trepidation. “What if we can’t protect them, Peeta?”

His lips brush my forehead again now. “We can. We will. Katniss, we have each other. Me and you and this baby — that hopefully really is inside of you or else we’re making a big deal over nothing.” I choke out a laugh at his words, sounding like a manic with how quickly my emotions are shifting. “And we have the book.”

The memory book. The book me and Peeta made years ago to commemorate the people we knew and loved and lost. The book we read to each other on the darkest of days, that we are careful to persevere and protect the same way we wish we had been able to protect the people depicted within the book itself.

“We can make this baby understand the things we’ve seen in a way that’ll only make them stronger and wiser. Me and you can give this baby a beautiful life, Katniss. I know it.” I search my husband’s eyes, the eyes I’ve been searching in for almost seventeen years now, and find nothing but truth in his gaze.

“I wouldn’t do this with anyone else,” I whisper, turning my head now to press a kiss to his chest. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else in the entire world.”

[someonewhowannadielol]

My name is JK (Alien!Jungkook! x Human!Reader)

PART TWO (SEQUEL TO ‘MY NAME IS 01001010 01001011′)

CLICK HERE FOR PART ONE

LINK TO MASTERLIST

Warning: Tooth-rotting fluff, Jungkook being a cutie, ok the real warning tags are Daddy kink, birthday sex, innocent reader being trained (???), lots of hicks and marking, cunt slapping, oral sex, uhh and jk being a competitive baby.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, if you squint and look closely, a little bit of humour.

Word Count: 5.6k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

It had been a week since Jungkook had, ahem, dicked you down. And it has been the best week of your life so far – he showed you things you had never seen before, the most beautiful scenes that your eyes feasted upon. You both had gone to the Neon Valley, it was a vast blue-purple lake that lit up at night due to the minerals on the sand bed below, and the lilies residing there would dance every night.

They fluttered, swung and swayed – and simultaneously, Jungkook and you too, had danced – he took you in his arms and as you both slow danced to the humming of the diva-crackers, you couldn’t help but look at his gorgeous face, adorned with a smile that you’d never replace for anything in this universe. You could feel yourself falling for him, he twirled you with ease, and as you stumbled back into his arms, he lost his balance trying to save you from falling and splash! 

You both had ended up in the hot water, and despite the current situation, you both had burst into boisterous laughter which echoed across the plain field around. In the shining moonlight, Jungkook’s face was more lit up than the neon water they were in, his long hair sprawled across his forehead, as he pushed it back with his left hand, while holding your waist with his right arm.

Jungkook looked at you with such intensity, you didn’t really know how to react. both of you knew you wanted more than just cuddles on your couch that was too small for Jungkook, more than grocery shop romances, and trekking on the artificial mountain, and more than watching movies together,, more than cuddling under the tree at the main park, more than making fun of each other, you wanted each other so much more badly.

“Kiss me,” Jungkook whispered, his face getting dangerously close.

“I’m scared,” Of course you were, but you didn’t move away from me.

“Of what?” Jungkook’s eyebrows bunched up like they always do when he’s confused.

“Of falling. Of drowning,” you answered as you looked into his eyes, how could someone not fall for him?

“Well, I’m already drowning, so don’t be scared, silly,” Jungkook’s eyes formed from his usual doe eyes to half-moon crescents and, you were no longer afraid to fall.

Because he was there, he will always be there, right beside you.

Fuck. You couldn’t help but curse as you saw the red spot on your lavender sheets, they were my favorite sheets. You had really bad mood swings when you were on your period, and you were basically uncontrollable. You saw Jungkook’s figure on the left side of the bed, sleeping peacefully, his chest heaving up and down as he breathes consistently.

“Baby,” you whined, as you almost pushed him off the bed. There was no way that you were going to the pharmacy to get the goods, so he was your only choice possible.

He stumbled as he got up, sleep still swimming in his eyes, as his hands went up to rub them, trying to get rid of the slumber that had taken over him.

“Yes, princess?” he asked in his hoarse voice – which turned you on (especially a lot now, since your uterus was sad, lonely and angry). His eyes travelled to the blood on the sheets, and it would be an understatement to say that he had a heart attack.

He immediately engulfed you in his arms, “Are you hurt anywhere?” he said, unable to breathe, because fuck, if anything ever happened to you, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

The worry in his eyes was making you feel guilty; did he even know what was happening?

“Jungkook, chill,” you laughed a little before directing him to the side of the bed, telling him to sit.

“Humans – well, only females – have to go through a period of time where they bleed. From down there,” you explain, and watch him go into a slight state of shock.

The poor baby just woke up 2 minutes ago, so this was probably hard to digest.

“You… you’re bleeding… and you don’t go to the hospital?”

“Does it hurt?” he asks in the timidest voice ever, careful not to offend you. He remembers once he asked you about body hair and since it was your biggest insecurity (cue Middle School flashbacks when you were the only girl with a slight unibrow and mustache), you couldn’t help but lash out on him.

“Yeah, it hurts a lot in my tummy,” you said on your way to the bathroom, “I need my supplies though, could you get them for me?”

Half an hour later, Jungkook returned with five bags of chocolates, chips and snacks – enough to feed a small village. The entire week, he kept studying you (you swear you saw him looking at you and writing notes in his small notebook, like a detective. Sigh) and your mood swings and tendency to eat the weirdest food combinations – he couldn’t help but gag when he saw you dip a whole cucumber in peanut butter.

“Kookie, cuddle with me,” during the day you would make grabby hands at him, and get him to massage your back, but at night you’d be the complete opposite – wanting to sleep as far away from him as possible. He also noted that you were more sensitive to jokes during the week, so he kept them at a minimum, and his praises at a maximum.

“Baby, you know, you look so cute in my arms,” he cooed, as he kissed your cheek while cuddling. He didn’t miss the blush that crept on your cheeks either.

Also, despite all the bleeding, you were ready to jump his bones anytime. He hasn’t had this much sex with anyone in one week. Not that he minded it.

You were more than ecstatic when you saw your favourite-est food in the world stocked in the human section of the grocery store. Spicy Hot Korean Ramen! You still remember when eating this used to be a challenge, back on Earth.

As you stacked the basket with half the stock, Jungkook couldn’t help but look at the ingredients – what was it that made you love them so much?

He was well, more than shocked to see all the different kinds of spices that humans could barely tolerate, chili flakes, red pepper oil, habanero flavored seasoning… he couldn’t let you eat this!

“Baby, this is too spicy for you, maybe we should buy this,” he pointed to the boring chicken and cheese flavored ramen. No! You were going to buy the spicy one and that’s finalized. Of course, Jungkook looked at you, and couldn’t argue. He doesn’t think he could argue with you even if he tried to.

Back at the apartment, Jungkook bit his tongue, trying not to say “I told you so,” as you fought your tears while eating the horrendous noodles. You were positive you could never feel your numb tongue as you chugged down the glass of strawberry milk that Jungkook handed you.

As expected, Jungkook was prepared for the stomach ache you experienced throughout the night, and gave you medicine to recover.

Before sleeping, you heard him sigh before saying, “I told you so,”

Jungkook had noticed you a lot, ever since you moved in with him. You didn’t have much belongings anyways, because you were only allowed to carry 100 pounds of baggage on the space craft, so you only carried the essentials. (Yes, you brought an oven. Yes, it was 77 pounds heavy. No regrets.)

While getting accustomed to his cozy, but huge apartment, you couldn’t help but trip over furniture. At first, it was his coffee table in the kitchen, next to the refrigerator. Every time you would get something to eat, your pinky would hit the leg of the table, causing you to splutter nonsense and then cry about it.

His bed was also higher than you expected it to be, so every day, for an entire month, after waking up you would underestimate the height – and always, always fall down from it.

He was extremely shocked by your ability to ignore pain, and to continue suffering every day because of the same cause at the same place. It’s okay, because now he’d hold you as you stepped out of the bed, and moved the coffee table to the other side of the kitchen.

He also noticed that humans don’t always have a thought out sleep schedule, they did as they pleased. Last night, you were pretty much half asleep at 4 AM, as you tried to finish the last episode of the new Netflix series.

“You were so sleepy, yet you continued to watch it without even understanding what’s happening?” he asked as soon as you woke up, to which you shrugged.

Again, next week, you forced yourself to get up at 5AM in the morning, so you could go for a jog. After all, you were thinking of getting more fit, all you did was lay on the couch. But as you headed in the bathroom for a shower after the run, he couldn’t help but think that humans are weird.

The first time Jungkook heard you crunch your bones, he was so scared, you almost though he would faint. He threw his game controller on the floor, as he ran towards you – thinking you had dislocated a limb, or something.

“Kookie, I was j-just stretching,” you could barely make out the words, trying to hold in your laughter as he tried to make sure you were okay.

With a sigh, he ran his hand through his fluffy – much longer – hair now, as he headed back to continue his game, “Baby, you’re so weird,”

“But you still love me?” you asked as you joined him on the couch, laying your head on his lap.

“I will always love you. Even if your bones crack,”

Bonus: When you got up at night for a midnight snack, you were surprised to see that Kookie wasn’t in bed with you. You later found him in his office, studying about how a human’s joint makes loud popping or cracking sounds because of the gas gathered there. He was finally content to ensure that you were safe.

Of course, you smothered him in hugs and kisses, because he always looked out for you. Always.

After a few weeks of being in Corellia, you had started to well… miss Earth. It was natural to do so; you’d lived your entire life there.

“I miss the sunsets, they were so pretty,” you spoke as you showed him a polaroid of you and your sister with the sunset behind you both. You pointed towards the one sun you had, and the purple, pink and orange hues of the clouds.

In an attempt to make you happy, Jungkook gave you a chocolate, they always made you happier, and he’d read somewhere something about chemicals in it making humans happier. But he was surprised to see you dancing (terribly) to a pop song, that seemed a little annoying, but he could deal with it.

The song had seemed to lighten your mood a lot, as you danced along with him happily, and as you looked at him, you felt happier. His long, wavy hair bounced as he danced with you. His eyes were smiling, and it was so pure that you laughed along. You were happy finally.

Until two weeks later, when you came across a photo of you and your high school class, trekking up a mountain on your senior trip to the north. Jungkook saw you sad again, missing Earth and your loved ones. Some were dead, some didn’t make it here, and some lived on the hotter side of the planet.

He put up the same pop song again, and cuddled with you on the couch. For the first time ever, you really felt grateful to God for something. You felt grateful that you were alive, and that you had Jungkook along with you. He looked how he looked every day, wearing a casual white t-shirt and grey baggy sweatpants. You adjusted yourself on his lap, and looked at him, and looked into his brown eyes. As you traced his face with your finger, he laughed, “Princess, do you feel better?”

You smile at the word of endearment, kissing his cheek, “You make me realize the difference between a house and a home. A house is a place, made with bricks and concrete, and materialistic items. But a home, is so much different. A home is where you feel belonged, a home is a place where you get that feeling of love. You make me finally realize how Earth was more of a house for me, but here, in your arms, I finally feel like I’m at home,”

You never thought Jungkook would be an overprotective boyfriend. Or a way too over protective boyfriend. During sex, he would go crazy on your body – sometimes treat you like a china doll, fragile and easily breakable, and sometimes it would be rough and harsh, not that you minded it.

His apartment was well, more suited for Jubal people because the ceilings, the bed, and of course, the kitchen cabinets were all bigger in height and size in comparison to your apartments back on Earth. Often, without thinking Jungkook would put food on the top most cabinets, and you often either felt too embarrassed, or too stubborn to ask for his help.

Which resulted in you – dangerously – climbing on the shelf to grab your precious food. This was a routine now, so you didn’t exactly pay attention to your limbs – just letting your muscle memory do the work for you. Right foot on the counter, and then you push your left knee as well, until you’ve made yourself stable on the counter top. Then, you stand up, holding the cabinet handle. Today was the same, but Jungkook had recently scrubbed clean the shelves, so they were more slippery than usual, and there was a fleeting moment when you thought you were about to fall (which would, by the way, give you the nastiest head injury), and before you realized it, Jungkook had looped his arm around your waist.

You were still shocked – chips in hand – when he settled you on his lap, almost like a child.

“Princess, what were you thinking?” he says as he lets you turn around, so you straddling his lap.

“I just wanted some chips, Kook,” you say with an amused grin. He was obviously distressed, as he sighed while running his hands through his hair, like he would when he was frustrated.

“Baby, you have to tell me if you need something from there, okay? What if you had hurt yourself?” his voice seemed to get louder with every words, and just like that, your amused grin was replaced with a pout, as you lowered your head.

 You didn’t mean to make him angry like that.

Looking at you, he knew he couldn’t ever stay mad at you. It was physically impossible for him. He hugged you, and your head rested on his cheat, feeling his fast heartbeat morphed into a more, stable and steady beat, “I’m just always worried for you. Even if everything is wrong, it’s alright, you’re the only good thing in my life,”

It had been ages since you had gone to a festival, and there was going to be a carnival-like festival in Corellia soon. You didn’t think Jungkook would be that interested, so you were quite surprised to see him… so excited about it.

“It comes twice in a year, you have to come! I’ve heard they’ve made it more human themed this year, so you feel welcomed, but we’ll have our traditional rides too!” he spoke with a gleam in his eyes, as you both got ready.

Jungkook of course, made sure you were wearing at least five layers of clothes, two pairs of gloved, and three pairs of socks. It was night time, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of you looking like a walking marshmallow.

“Baby, you look so cute!” he exclaimed, holding your hand. The dead town looked really alive tonight, as the red, yellow, purple and other multicolored lights lit the place up, to make it feel even more alive. You were really shocked at the amount of people present, but that’s what made it even more fun.

The first thing had to be food, you got two plates of fries, because, well, is it even possible or human to share food? And that too, fries? No way. 

Jungkook had recently discovered ketchup, and now he would dip everything in it before eating. Ramen, dipped in ketchup. Chips, dipped in ketchup. Bread, dipped in ketchup. And now, you saw him cover every single chip in ketchup before eating it. While you thought this was disgusting, you were still amused by his new found love for it.

You both scared a giant cup of strawberry milkshake, that looked like it was out of a romcom, cotton candy pink color, with whipped cream on top. And naturally, the cherry. Your noses touched, as you both drank at the same time, and you couldn’t help but want to live in the moment forever.

You both had spent the night, either enjoying rides that were too scary, and hazardous to experience but at the same time too fun to miss out on, or competition with each other to the next level. You knew Jungkook had always been a competitive little shit, whether it was about who would cook better and faster, or about who loved the other one more, he was always in a competition. This was no exception either, as you both we immersed in a car racing game, where you were well, obviously losing.

You had never really been the best at arcade games, and this car games was extremely frustrating, because the goddamn seat was too big and your legs could barely reach the pedals on the bottom while holding onto the steering wheel simultaneously. He laughed as you struggled to multitask, and at one point you didn’t realise you were going the wrong way until you heard Jungkook laughing so hard, he was struggling to breath. Three tries later, Jungkook had had his fair share of victories as he put you in his lap, and told you to focus on the steering only. He’d handle the pedals part. Together, you guys had broken the fastest record of the day and of course, he had to congratulate you. And the congratulations came in a form of a heated kiss – which wasn’t liked by the Jubals waiting in line to play the game.

Later, you both had way too much fun beating others in basketball as you paired up, and beat a Jubal power couple. Then came the bumper cars. The same Jubal power couple had hit your and Jungkook’s car so hard that you almost flew across the set-up, if it wasn’t for the seatbelt, and Jungkook’s arm around the waist. It was safe to say that Kook took his revenge by hitting their car repeatedly, as he shoved them into a corner. You kissed your over protective boyfriend on the cheek, he was just so fricking cute.

You both ate more food than you could handle, and as you were walking, Jungkook bought a donut and tried to feed you.

“No! No, Kook, I swear!” you tried to get away from him, but he held your waist as he pushed the donut in your mouth, smearing it over your cheek in the process.

“Kook!” you exclaimed, as he kissed you, and licked away any leftover icing.

You couldn’t help but blush when he smirked, “Sweet.”

At the end of it all, you pushed Kook into a small photo booth that sat on the other end of the carnival.

“Please? Come on!” you tried to show him your puppy eyes, and turned your lips into a pout.

“But baby, I don’t look good in photos!” he whined as you inserted the money to take a four portrait photo.

“Please? Just this once? For me?” you pouted again, and pushed him in with you, and you tried to drag his arms.

“You can’t give me the puppy dog face! You know I can’t say no to that!” he whined, adjusting you in his lap.

“Just pose, Kookie,” you said as you closed the red curtain on the side. In the first one, your arms were around his neck as you laughed and looked in the camera, and he looked at you, pouting. The second one, you both looked at each other and smiled, his hands in your hair. The third had been him grabbing your face, squishing you cheeks and bringing you closer (but because of the movement – it was also blurred, at which you were disappointed, but Kook assured you it looked good), and lastly, in the fourth one, you were kissing passionately, while Jungkook smiled in the kiss.

You both climb the small hill, where people are buying and lighting their lanterns in an orderly manner. You both buy one, and you end up writing “JK X Y/N” on it with red paint, and before Jungkook lights it, he adds a red heart, and “4EVER,” underneath which looks so cheesy, that it makes you laugh.

He looks at you, and kisses your forehead. Around 10:30, everyone lets go of their lanterns, and you both also let go of yours, letting it fly in the sky, as Jungkook cups your cheeks and pushes your hair back, before kissing you, sweet and slow.

The night had come to an end as all the Jubals were leaving too. You didn’t know exactly what time it was, but it was definitely i-can’t-walk-o’ clock, as Jungkook gave you a piggy back ride without any questions when he saw you stumbled into others. In one hand you held the teddy bear he had won from the water gun thingy, and in the other you held a cotton candy like sweet – but it wasn’t exactly cotton candy. It was blue and purple, and shined because of the crystallized sugar on it.

The last thing you remember was resting your face where his shoulder and neck met and mumbling, “This was the best day of my life,”

If someone had told you that you’d have a cook off with an alien in two months’ time, you would’ve laughed in their face. But. Here you were. Trying to cook the best alfredo pasta he would ever taste in his life.

You tried to glance on his cooking station multiple times, only to be pushed back, “Baby! It’s supposed to be a surprise!”

Jungkook really seemed to be absorbed in the cooking process, and you were starting to feel deprived of his love and adoration that he would usually shower at you when he was not working in his office.

30 minutes later, he brought you his favourite dish, the one that his mother used to cook for him when he was younger. It was orange red-ish coloured deep fried small cutlets, that smelled… amazing. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it tasted like, it was salty, but in a different way. And so, so, yummy. You were a little insecure when Jungkook took a bite of your pasta, and showed no emotion.

Oh no, you had tasted it and it felt pretty normal, juts how you’d make it on Earth. Was he allergic to something in it?

“Baby, what did you put in this?” he asked, but he didn’t seem to stop eating it. He didn’t speak anything until, well, he finished the dish.

“Can you make that for me every day?”

It had been over six months, since you and Jungkook had been seeing each other. Naturally, as a couple you both did fight – mostly over stupid stuff, like which restaurant to go to, or disagreements on what to buy etc. But you both would always sort it out, no matter what it was, he was always by your side.

It was his birthday, and Jubals never really celebrated their birthday – “Why would you celebrate this? I’m just one more year near death,” he said as you told him about ‘Earth Traditions’.

Albeit to whatever he said, you made yourself busy when he went out to meet the gang. You’d met them a couple of times before, being much closer to Taehyung because he never really questioned whatever you did, and just went along with it. You had enjoyed Jimin and Jin’s company as well (mostly because they cooked for you, not gonna lie).

As you hung up the balloons that said, “Happy Birthday!” individually, you had started to well, decorate yourself as well.

You knew how Jungkook always looked at you as if you were the most pure creature in this universe, his innocent little baby, so you decided to dress the part. Dressed in white panties, with a small bow on them, you adjusted your pink tinted, bra that came along with it. It left little to the imagination, as it was see-through, but there were small bows on each nipple, making you look like a present. You’d never really been the one to dress up in stockings as well, but here you were, tweaking your garter, as the pink shaded white see-through material latched on your legs as a second skin. Now, you waited patiently.

He finally came, around half past seven, and looked better than ever. You’d worn your silk robe that you would usually wear around, so he wouldn’t suspect anything. He looked so happy, his eyes crunched up into its usual crescent shape as he laughed while blowing the candles and eating your home-made cake. He had always loved your baking, so when you made his favourite Oreo cake, he was really, really happy. You’d made him a teddy bear – you were bad at sewing, but hey! A for effort.

“Kook, there’s a present in your bedroom too,” you said as you took his left hand and guided him in the bedroom. You had given him several gifts already, so why were you giving him another one?

“Baby, you didn’t have t-“ he stopped as soon as you dropped your robe in front of him, letting him take in the sight of you, clad in your lingerie that he had only imagined in his wildest fantasies.

The light hearted aura around him seemed to vanish, as a darker shade took over his eyes. Without speaking anything, he carried you bridal style, to the bed and laid you down softly on it.

“Gonna let me taint you, angel?” he asked, and at the sight of him, you couldn’t help but moan and nod.

“Use your words, baby,” he said as he let his fingers roam on your figure, and lit a fire in your core, making you overwhelmed.

“Yes, Daddy, please make love to me,” you whine, but he tsks on your choice of words.

“Angel, my princess,” he says as he leaves a trail of wet kisses from your neck to you collarbone, sucking on it, “I’m not going to love to you today, I’m going to fuck you, baby”

You gasp as he circles around the bow on your nipple, before ripping the thin material completely, letting the cool air hit your vulnerable skin.

As Jungkook just keeps looking at you, his long hair shadowing in front of his eyes, you can’t help but feel needy, “Daddy, please, touch me,” you whine, trying to get ahold of his hand.

He gently brings his mouth down, sucking on the little tip of your nipple, as his tongue works magic around it, and you’re already starting to get wet.

“It’s u-unfair that you’re all d-dressed up,” you moan, as you try to take off his white t-shirt. He chuckles as he takes off his shirt, letting you look at his god-like body. You were speechless when you first saw him, and you still are every time you both have sex.

His lean body, is just perfect in every way, and the way the moonlight hits his face, giving his face the shadows that come along with the highlights, you were dumbstruck at how breathtaking he was.

While Jungkook loved to mark you, mark your body, make you his, today was harsher, much more aggressive as he bit your chest, making you cry out in pleasure. He painted your body in hues of purple and bright pink, using his tongue to make each bruise feel better. As soon as he reached the hem of your underwear, he stopped, and that resulting in a whine from you.

“It’s my birthday, and you said I deserve anything on this day. So, princess,” he said, unbuckling his belt, and you swallow hard before he lets his cock free, ”let me fuck those beautiful tits,”

He pushes himself into your mouth without any warning, letting you groan and whimper as you produce enough saliva to make him sopping wet, “Good baby,” he whispers as he lets his dick between your tits.

You smiled, as you held your breasts together, and he slides his hardening member between them, “fuck baby, you’re so soft, so pretty for Daddy,” he murmurs obscene praises as you whimper in pleasure from the friction between your breasts.

He places his cock between them, and first experiments with his movements, and as time passes, he becomes faster, and messier. You both didn’t mind the mess, as his pre-cum lands on your chest, collarbone and nipples, and you can only whine in pleasure while letting him use your body.

His movements go from steady and fast to uncoordinated and stuttering, as he pulls out and pants, letting him catch his breath.

“Fuck, baby, they felt like heaven, but there’s something else, way better,” he grins as pulls himself down on your body, and looks as you underwear, directly. It makes you whimper, when you feel his hot breath through the thin material. He laps his tongue on it, and it feels so good, but not good enough, and you wish he would just take it off.

“Daddy, please, take it off,” you whine and he pulls your legs further apart and digs his face between them.

He smirks and looks at you, already fucked out as a blush stays on your cheeks. Angelic.

“Keep the stockings on, okay, sweetheart?” he says as his finger traced down your leg, as you shiver under his touch.

He comes up to you and cups your face, pressing a kiss against your cheek – and it felt so chaste in comparison to what you both had just done.

And before you could realize, he slips his fingers under the hem of your panties, and shreds them into pieces.

“What do you want from Daddy?” he stops in front of your clit, spreading your lips, waiting for your answer. He knew you were shy, too shy to speak vulgar words, but you were just so needy right now.

“Daddy, I need your tongue,” you speak, and let his tongue sit flat on your bud, it gave enough stimulation, but at the same time not enough, and you just needed more. You couldn’t help but buckle your hips into his face, and that resulted in his getting up and looking at you, making eye contact.

“You’re being ungrateful now, huh?” he says as he smacks the bud hard, where seconds ago he let his tongue rest. It’s painful, but at the same time, it just feels so, so good. He smacks it two more times before letting his teeth sink in your inner thigh, as you let lewd noises escape your mouth, as he further marks your thighs, and you knew, for sure that they would last a long time.

After a lifetime of teasing, he lets his tongue slurp the cum that escaped your pussy, as he went to town on it, eating you out as if he’s been starving for years. You let your moans escape as he slips his tongue inside you, and lets his nose rub against your clit. You were so close, just about to fall off the edge as he pulls himself away, and you whimper, grabbing the sheets as if your life depended on them.

“Your cunt is always, always so pretty and tasty for Daddy,” he smacks between your thighs again, making you gasp, “always ready for Daddy,”

His ruffled, brown hair shines in the dark of the room, the moonlight being the only source of light, illuminating his face.

He lets his dick enter you, gently, until you reach your limit and instead of waiting like he always does, he rams back into you again, letting you adjust with his steady movements, as you grab his hand and hold it. He always holds your hand when he’s being rough, to let you know that he can stop anytime. (but u is a hoe)

He slides out until only his tip is inside you, and lets himself into you all at once, fast and reckless. Wild. It isn’t long before your walls clench around him, “Daddy, I-I’m so close,” you say as your rub you clit, slowly with a continual movement.

You orgasm starts first, hot and sticky liquid, dripping down you thigh, staining your perfect stockings, and soon Jungkook follows, as his head buries in your neck, and he groans before letting himself loose.

“Happy Birthday, Kookie,” you whisper before letting him take you to the tub, where you both well, fuck again.

LINK TO MASTERLIST 

A/N: It’s always so fun to write alien!jk, and I hoped you guys liked it. Also, a huge thank you to @bisoo-ausucre for supporting me so much!

Could you please help me decide what to write first? Frat boy!jk OR titanic!au with Jimin as Jack? 

As always, requests are open, and so is my inbox. See you next time!

[oh-for-fic-sake]

No Boyfriend’s

Masterlist

Henry comes home to find out his three year old princess has a boyfriend, whats a dad to do?

Warnings: swearing, fluff

A/n: so I had so much fun wrighting this fluff piece! Thank you to @jessevans​ for requesting it.

No Boyfriend's

You walked up to the preschool to pick up your daughter from her afternoon session. You had to admit when Henry had first sugested moving out of the city You had been a little skeptical. He had been adamant that he wanted your child to have a childhood much like his. Out of the hustle and bustle moving out into 'the sticks' as many londoners would call it. You'd settled in a quaint picturesque little village near Canterbury in Kent the location was perfect for henry's work with the port of dover thirty minutes away and the center of london with all the airports around an hours drive in the opposite direction it was ideal. And best of all it was out of the way and had all the amenities within the village itself a post office, shop,pub, Doctors surgery and pharmacy the local primary school and pre school was literally a five minute walk from your house and the closest secondary schools were a ten minute bus ride into canterbury itself and when the time came you had six to choose from.

The reason for the move? Your now three year old Daughter the apple of her daddies eye. You remebered the day you'd told your boyfriend you were pregnant, you'd been terrified as much as he said he wanted a family you couldnt help that twinge of doubt. But he was exstatic within moments he had darted out of the room when he returned he was clumsily trying to dial his mothers number with shaking hands tears streaming down his face as he kept asking if you were sure even when his mother picked up, you could here her laughs of joy as he told her. He paced the room leaving you to sit on the bed giggling as he refused to sit down whilst on the phone with his family every time he walked past you he move his hand pressing on Your flat tummy asif trying to feel the child already that or he was trying to imagine you with a bump and that grin? You'd never seen him smile like that before it truly melted your heart seeing him so happy. He was always and attentive boyfriend but once you was pregnant he was..Incredible always by your side when he was at home tending to your every need and he somehow managed not to be over bearing.

It was when you went to the first scan that he had proposed some might say it wasn't the most romantic but for you it was perfect! Leaving with the first photos of your little jellybean and a fiance. Fuck yes! You thought that you couldnt get any happier but then came the gender scan. You knew he didnt mind what they were but you also knew deep deep down you both wanted a little girl to coddle over and buhe wanted a daddies girl someone who he could be their knight in shining  armour. He could bearly keep still beside you holding your hand tight watching the screen trying to get a look at your little 'nugget' as he had called them he couldn't keep quiet either with every swipe of the ultrasound  wand he was changing his mind.

"Girl? Is that? I can see? nope Boy definatly boy"

"Henry babe...dont get to excited that's the umbilical cord...I think?" They were being a little bugger crossing their legs making the sonographer work hard to move them around as you had to move again and again trying to get the little one to move. Finally they spoke.

"And you two are about to have... Little....Princess! You have a baby girl on the way congratulations" you both froze looking at the screen seeing your baby...your daughter. Immediately you both burst into tears.

"A-a girl your sure?" Henry asked in a quiet shaky voice the woman smiled nodding handing you both tissues then moved slower over the child showing you exactly what she saw then printed off some of the photos for you. Once home Henry began refering to her as 'little lady' on account of her 'protecting her modesty' by crossing her legs.

It wasnt long after youd began talking about moving seroiusly, the house was big enough sure but now you knew the baby was a girl it all seemed much more real. Sure you'd both spoke about buying a house together on and off as youd moved in to his place earlier in the relationship but this time it was more feasible the idea of raising your precious little girl in the middle of london didn't bode well for Henry he was also concerned about haveing photos of her taken he was an actor hell your relationship was posted all over social media by your third date! He didn't want that attention on his daughter so you both started seriously looking. It only took another nine weeks to find a place you both fell in love with the Georgian detached house it looked like a mini manor with its decorative columns and tall windows had a huge garden to for kal it was perfect.

At six months you had a small private wedding and it was then that he anounced your marriage and baby Cavill, potsing your favourite wedding photo of you in you and Henry facing each other laughing witb your foreheads together, you were wrapped around each other as close as ou could get considering the bumb that had seemingly grown overnight his hand resting on the cute bump you were laughing because she had just kicked him when he had told you he loved you. Almost like 'dont forget about me!', Kal had photo bombed to his head poking out between your an Henry's legs smiling , a part of your flowy dress caught up on the bears ear head tilted the only one looking at the camera and in the same post he added an ultrasound of your baby girl. You got congratulations from many of yours freinds and family. And Henry's freinds and costars each wondering the same thing 'how the fuck did Henry keep it quiet?'. You wondered that as well, the hole pregnancy was just memory after memory. Henry made sure you did everything you could to document your daughters creation, you did the photo of your bump once a week the last one being you in the hospital in the middle of slow labour holding the gown tight around you a mere half hour before she was born. He had made sure you did the belly casting which had been tidied up and trimmed painted pink and was in the cupboard, then the 4d scans expensive tho they were nothing and you mean nothing compared to seeing her little face for the first time, it was then you realised she looked nothing like you! She was all her father although a slightly more feminine and less sharp and it was also there you were told she had lots od hair...Curls you felt like you'd hit the jackpot. At the birth he had been incredibly supportive until he wasn't, well you disagreed  he wanted to film it and not just your face  he wanted to film it you said no but regretted it after as it would have been solid proof of what happened.  You see one moment he was there then mid contraction....you heard quiet 'nope' a huge thump is what alerted you to his fall.... there was an alarm pressed and nurses came running in each giggleing, it was rare now days to have a fainter.

"Are you FUCKING KIDING ME?! HENRY?! OI! HERNY? CAVILL GET YOUR ASS UP!" You had to stop shouting and started breathing heavy as another contraction pulled at you once over you began barking orders to the nurses.

"KICK HIM...KICK HIM IN THE NUTS! DONT WORRY ABOUT STERILISING SUPERMAN HERE! NEVER AGAIN! HE WONT THEM TRUST ME... HENRY GET UP! ARE YOU LISTENING? STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH! I AM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN COS HE FUCKING MISSED IT! LOOKING WHEN I TOLD HIM NOT TO!"  The nurses didn't know what to do it took three of them to place im in the chair each trying desperately not to laugh as you had a melt down screaming at him to 'wake the fuck up' You swore you even heard laugher from outside signaling that his family had heard. Yes your wonderfully supportive husband had fainted through stress? Excitment? Anxiety? Low blood sugar? Each time you asked him it had been different answer but and to quote him 'it was definitely not because I looked' which neither you or his brothers will ever believe or let him forget. Luckily he came to as you finally birthed his daughter. A stunning screaming little dark haired bundle. He sobbed when he held her for the first time leaning over her cradeling her so gently leaning over her kissing her as many time he possibly could he was the first one to hold her, hug her kiss her and change her. The photo of his first cuddle hung proudly in the hallway ,you will never forget that moment, the moment when Henry's whole world changed  you could see then just how much he had wanted this. Your daughter was going to be the luckiest little girl in the world.

Paige had grown into a daddies girl, through and through which made today much better. Henry was coming home from filming man from u.n.c.l.e he had been away for months and you had kept his arrival home a secret. Henry was going to make it home in about twenty five minutes. You stopped just before the colourfull gates unable to go in with Kal, you could see the kids lining up in twos underneath the oak tree in the small garden. You smile moving to stroke Kals ears hushing him as he barked loudly vibrating with exciment his tail thumping on the floor as he sat like the good boy he was. At his bark you could hear the kids all squeal with excitment, they loved it when you brought the 'wolf' to the preschool. It was funny hearing Paige whine to them that 'his name is Kal and he's a bear'. He was quite the spoilt pup when he helped you pick up his sister getting hugs and kisses of all the Paige's class mates. Finally the small class was walked out of the garden one of the teachers holding the gate lettjng them leave to their parents. Paige waited in line pointing to you then was let out you ducked down hugging her kissing between her her curly little pigtails.

"Hey baby! Have a good day?" She nodded passing you her small bag and a small potted plant? You looked at her confused but said nothing. She turned and giggled hugging kal smoshing her face in his chest making him stand up she pulled back and squealed as he latherd her with kisses three hours away from her was apparently to long!

"Oh no Kal! Stop it silly bear!" You laughed watching her push weakly at kal who began to settle down now that his 'pup' was with him. You noticed the other parents hovering there kids all pulljng itching to come get Kal cuddles. You smiled to them nodding suddenly they came over all giving him pets and love which he lapped up. You also used it as a sort of lesson the do's and donts of petting dogs, which did some of the other parents a favour. Kal wagged his tail and droped to the floor he couldnt roll over fast enough directing the tiny hands to scratch his belly mouth open tongue lolling about as he panted one happy little bear. After you were sure all the kids got there cuddles you moved calling kal he huffed at you ignoring you instead wanting more love. You smirked down at him sighing as the children giggled. Finally after much coaxing from the other parents you and Paige managed to heave kal away with promises of chicken and snuggles at home. Soon you was on your way home kal padding beside you happy as can be.

Paige took he spot beside you holding his lead with you she was talking about her 'boyfriend' a little boy who she had taken a shine to. It was really sweet he had just moved to the area a little asian boy who paige had bonded with quickly. Really they were just best freinds but he was the first boy she had made freinds with hence she had opted to call him her boyfriend.

"So then Micah played let me play and-and he let me be a knight!" You smiled at her as she beamed excited.

"Really? A knight?" She stopped at the road with you looking both ways then crossed quickly.

"Yeah! Like in daddy's games!! And he gave me some of the bany tomatoes in his lunch...did you he grew them in his own garden!!" You gasped sown at her.

"Really? Oh my, sound like a little dream boat!" she scrunched up her nose lookjng up at you placing a tiny hand to he forehed sheildjngnher eyea from the afternoon sun

"Wha?" You chuckled shaking your head at her.

"Never mind jummy is just being silly" nodded to you her lightl blue eyes sparkling at you then Continued talking about her day mostly about Micah and the games they played.

When you reached home you watched as kal began barking and whining which could only mean one thing. Henry was home already, you unlocked the gate and released the dog with a quiet 'go get daddy' he tore off whining running to the door scratching and pouncing barking the whole time.

"Mummy whats wrong with kal?" You looked down at her knowingly"I'm not sure why don't you go see to him?" She nodded her head biting her lip then licking it, she looked so much like her father doing that. Then she was off running to the house just as Henry opened the door. She froze then screamed for him quickly falling to pieces with grabby hands wantjng her daddy. You watched all choked up as always she was bawling her eyes out by the time he had jumped the steps to the house scooping her up in his huge arms. He clutched her to his chest shushing and rocking her as she cried into him fisting her small hands in his shirt just calling him over and over. He moved his head kissing her trying to calm her, he hated and loved this. He hated her getting so upset when her returned but secretly loved that she missed him. The first few times he left he was worried she wouldnt remember him but juste as youd promised him she had.

The first time he came home you’d taken her to the airport to meet him...He had ended hup having to sit in the back with her as she refused to let him go getting hysterical  each time he tried to pry her off of him. She had gotten better as she got older understanding that daddy had to work and now she was older she could speak to him on the phone and video chat. Each time after the initial crying and snuggles she would stay stuck to his side weather she was sitting on the sofa between his legs when he was playing games or in the makeshift gym with him useing his reps to practice her counting...even if in five mineuts he managed two hundred by her count they were always together. Hell sometimes he even read a new script as a bed time story, which not even you were privvy to!

You laughed walking up to him winding your arms around them both cuddling your daughter between you he leaned in kissing ou on the lips.

"God its good to be home" you smiled smoothing  one of paiges high pigtails she whined calming down kicking her little legs wrapping an arm around his neck and moved suckling her thumb a little. He moved you all into the house patting her bottom lightly somthing he had done since she was born it always soothed her. You moved to the kitchen opening the back door letting air in it was to hot, you placed the small plant on the windosill by the sinck giving it a tiny bit of water as you noticed the siol had dried out. Henry stayed close behind you wanting to be around you, you moved to the slow cooker flicking it on to warm up the already cooked casserole. He came up behinde you movijng to have Paige on one hip still rocking her slightly even tho she had calmed down.

"Ohh look baby chicken casserole...Did you help mummy with that today before school? " She giggled peering over the pot.

"Yes daddy! I putted in the veggies! And tatoes! Daddy!" He smiled at her gasping.

"You did the veggies and the potatoes?! Such a clever girl making daddies favourite dinner" she giggled at the praise nodding.

"And-and I tasted it to!" he gasped at her as she got all excited

"And what do you think?" She grinned and 'whispered'

"Needed salt" you spun round and gasped at her offended.

"You little!" You chased her and Henry around the kitchen island wriggling your fingers as if to tickle her.

"AHH HAHAHa NOOO! DADDY RUN RUN!" you giggled as he scarperd out of the kitchen hovering by the door and moved all you saw was the tops of their heads peering into the kitchen. You rolled your eyes as they made a 'plan of attack' you turned back to the pit placeing the lid back on.

Suddeny Henry had you, arms pinning yours to the sides as Paige 'tickled' you making you laugh.

"Oh my god! Stop I give I give!" Finally Paige relented koala climbing Henry who quickly scooped her up to his hip.You moved in kissing her cheek then henry as he wrapped his free arm around you nuzzling in to your neck giving a quick nip before licking at your skin.You giggled trying to escape yet all he did was grab you around your waist and hoist you up.

"HAHA! I have you both now!" You laughed and Paige squealed as he spun around holding you both before making his way to the living room  you wriggled free pretendingnto run from him making paige call out to you for help as he threw her up in the air holding her with 'slam dunking' paige to the sofa making her laugh and  scream as he followed lifting her littl tshirt blowing rasberries on her tummy makeing her squeal and laugh louder. You smiled at the two, this is what you missed when he was away, the laughter of a full house. You sat down in Henry's armchair as he and Paige 'wrestled' soon attracting kals attention who like the loyal steed he was came to paiges aid pouncing henry making him groan and roll off her givingnher and kal the chance to escape to the garden, you both let them the garden was safe and having  kal around was like a live in nanny he wont let anything happen to her.

Henry rolled over on the sofa lounging back panting crooking a finger at you. You crept over moving to sit in his lap, he tugged you down to him pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. He moved sitting up more cupping your ass smirking.

"Soo? Did you think about what I mentioned?" You grinned and pretended to think for a second making him groan leaning in leaving kisses on your neck and jaw.

"I did" you finally replied, you felt him hold his breath as his nose ghosted your ear.

"I stopped them that night~ all back to normal now" he pulled back staring at you

"Really? You mean it?" You nodded them brought you forward for a deep kiss. He had mentioned trying for another child when he came back, youd always intended to give Paige a sibling but not when she aas still a baby baby. Now that Paige was older and going to be in school next year you had felt ready to try again and had be over the moon whne henry had suggested it in a video chat instantly stopping your contraception so eveything would be back to normal and you could start trying asap asfterall you knly had him home for a few months then he was off to play superman again. He smiled lunging forward pinning you below him devouring your mouth you moaned as things got heated.

You felt them. Eyes. Blue eyes to be exact. You both sighed and turned to Paige who was staring unblinking at the two of you from the door. You moved pushing him up.

"Mummy? Wheres my plant I wana show daddy what I grew!" He looked at you and sighed a little, you could tell he was a bit dissapointed but you waved him off as he stood pulling you up with him you moved in whispering.

"Tonight love" he grinned and jumped up a bounce in his step holding his hand out to paige who took it.

"Its on the windowsill in the kitchen" Henry nodded left the room letting you relax for a while already knowing you were picking up your kindle to read. Once in the kitchen he lifted Paige placing her on the counter and pulled over the small plant.

"So whats this then?" She smiled touchingnthe leaves softly

"Its a strawberry plant daddy...I did it from a tiny seed!" He smiled at her looking to the plant it wasnt half bad small but alive which is more then he could say for his when he tried.

"Oh you did this? At school?" She nodded at him and moved the leaves about.

"Yes and it will get bigger and grow pretty flowers...And the flowers will grow a strawberry! Miss bou said we cant pick em till they are a bright red like in the shops... and we can take pictures in to show em off!" He nodded to her

"So your gardening at school now? Is it fun?" She giggled putting the plant down

"Yeah we got lots in our vegetable patch...we got some lettuce and peppers and spinach and and tomatoes! But they not ready yet...Micahs is! Micah grows the at home... can we grow some veggies daddy?" He smiled at her

"We certainly can...Besides we will need to plant your strawberries in the garden...I will make your ownn little growing patch amd we can grow anything you want how does that sound?" She squealed and bounced on her bottom making him smile.

"Lets make a list and we can go get them tomorrow" she nodded in agreement. You walked in the kitchen as henry and Paige leaned over the counter making a list

"Whats going on here then?" Paige quickly riped the paper from under Henry's nose.

"List mummy! Of palnts for my veggie patch! Daddy wants to help!" You smiled peaking over the paper seeing two halves one side had strange 'paige writing' the other a list Henry had written. Compost, tools, string, pots then lots of different fruit and veg. You chuckled shaking your head.

"You missed watering can...maybe we could get a waterbutt? And one of thows plastice green houses to start the seedling off?" He smiled nodding addjng them to the list as you went and checked dinner. You nodded then turned to the other two."Right you tow dinners done wash up then go wait at the table...Had it in the slow cooker all day just needed to be heated up" he leaned over kissing you once again thanking you then helped Paige was her hands leaving to the dining room with Paige.

You did this everytime he came home early dinner meant an early bedtime for Paige and then You could give Henry a proper homecoming. You dished up the dinner home made chicken casserole you moved quickly with the three bowles placing them on the table then sat down ready to eat as Henry began talking about work. you smiled letting him gush about his work, you loved seeing him like this he blushed slightly.

"Any way enough about that, how have my two girls been?" You watched at Paige grinned across the table to him.

"I made a new friend daddy!" You swallowed your mouthfull choosing to keep quiet you knew where this was going you grinned into you bowl. He smiled at her leaning over to wipe her mouth quickly making her giggle at him as he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh really? And whats her name?"

"Haha nooo! Daddy its not a girl...I've got a boyfriend!" Henry choked onhis mouthfull paiges face dropped and she looked to you worriedly you smiled reassuringly at her. Henry hit his chest coughing finally getting himslef under control, he looked at you shocked and terrified you nodded at him chuckling.

"A-a boyfriend? Poppet dont you think your a bit err young for that?" She frowned at him shaking her head.

"No daddy! He is really nice! He lets me be a knight! And today we had lunch together and he fed-ed me his tomatoes."

"Gave paige he gave you his tomatoes" you corrected as Henry gaped at her unsure what to make of it.

"So he is just a friend?....he better be"  he grumbled the last part under his breath.

"He is a friend...My boyfriend I love him daddy... he gives me hugs! And Kal likes him to! He's my hero" You giggled as Henry was panicked and at a loss.

"Really....love I thought daddy was your hero?" Creased up he actually looked a bit hurt from her words she gave him a sympathetic look.

"Yes daddy you are...But Micah is to! He is soo pretty and fun and he don't make me be the princess all the time...And he shares his colours"

"Okay so you love this boy Micah?" She nodded pushing her food around in her bowl.

"What do you love about him?"

"His hair! Its black and shiney! And and he is cute!"

"Aha but you do know he isnt your boy friend right? Your not aloud boyfriends yet....No boyfriends untill your older." He said she looked at him wide eyed then you her bottom lip quivering.

"What? But but I love him!" Henry crossed his arms at her she mimicked him scowling

"No absolutly not baby" .she whined and smaked the table in a huff

"NOOO! MY BOYFRIEND!" He raised a brow at her as she had a paddy.

"No boyfreinds untill your 21 and thats final ittle lady"

"No! Micah is mine! My boyfriend! A-and you cant stop us from playing! So there!" Henry rose a brow trying to ignor your quiet chuckles as Paige made huffed and stuck her nose in the air being a right little madame. You watched givjng Henry the stink eye as a grin crawled across his face. Here we go.

"Its illegal...he could get in trouble, daddy could get in trouble" Henry tilted his head at her as she gasped trying to read him, you could see her mind trying to work him out. Is he lying? Or not? but her father was an actor...And a damn good one he had a poker face like no other. You knew where this was going, you knew you should stop it but his was gold! You had a feeling that henry was not gojng to ckme out on top.as she opend her mouth.

"W-well we wont tell..Keep it a secret!" She said holding a finger to her lips Henry tutted shaking his head.

"Oh poppet...Do you know where daddy has been these past months?" You squinted at him trying to see exactly where this was going knowing you were going to have to pick up the pieces. She nodded then shook her head no. He smiled devilishly at her. Oh shit here he goes.

"Daddy has been to spy school" you gasped at him oh hell no he wouldnt...yes he fucking would you could see the twinkle in his deep blues.

"Spy school?" She spoke in a small voice then turned to you looking fro one to the other he nodded at he

"Y-your a spy?" He nodded and she gave him a sa look.

"Yes, and I made friends with lots of spies" she twitched slightly shaking her head.

"And they told me that the spy rules says that a spy's little girl isn't allowed a boyfriend until they are twenty one....If they did find out daddy could get in trouble...You dont want daddy to be in trouble do you?" She shook her head bottom lip trembling as she was torn. She looked like she would explode as she tried weighting up her 'options'.

 Suddenly Henry dropped his smug look and looked more like a deer in the headlights as Paige began wailing moving her arms making grabby hands to you. You sighed and hoisted her into your arms rocking her trying so hard not to laugh.

"W-why is da-daddy mean?....I ju-just want to pl-play with my boyfreind!" You patted her back rocking her.

"No-now D-daddy will get i-in trouble! But I-I just w-wana plaayy!" She cried harder hicupping between her words.

"Oh sweety come here shh shh" you gave Henry a look as he leaned back in his chair crossing his arms at you shaking his head. Stubborn and protective of his little lady.

"Nope..Not having it" you hissed at him knowing you had to spell this one out for the big idiot.

"Daddy didn't mean it,he wont get in trouble at all baby girl"

"Yes I did"

"HENRY!" he shut up at your hiss

"Bu-but d-daddy said-"

"Hey look at me...Dont listen to daddy he is an idiot and just jealous of Micah" she sniffled an nodded

"Y-yeah cos he-he's got pretty Shiney hair... D-daddies just got stupid curls!" You giggled as Henry looked aghast at her not believing wht ha was hearing

"Exactly daddy is just being a grump! you can still play with Micah...He is your best friend isn't he?" She nodded sniffling

"and you love his like a friend right?" Henry now realised his mistake blinked at you as you rolled your eyes shaking your head at him like 'what the fuck? Really? Shes three' .oh. She pulled away wipinng her eyes looking to henry's matching blues.

"Really daddy? C-can I still play w-with micah?"

"Yes of course...I'm sorry baby...you and mummy was right I just got jealous...daddy is used to being your only hero." Smooth cavill real smooth. She bought it tho nodding he tilted his head down.

"Yo-you wont be in tr-trouble" he shook his head at her

"A-and Micah wo-wont be in t-trouble?" Again he shook his head and reached for her.

"No baby daddy was just being silly...Come here Can you forgive me poppet?" She thlught about it then nodded lunging for him cuddling him he mouthed a sorry to you but you just rolled your eyes at him. Idiot.

It was later that night when Henry returned to your bedroom after reading Paige to sleep,. You both flitted about one another getting ready for bed ou was brushing your teeth when he brought it up.

"So who is this micah then?" You rolled your eyes still hearing a little hostility there...To a fucking three year old. You spat out the toothpaste and looked to henry leaning on the door.

"A little boy...He moved to the village just after you left...Paige was instantly taken with him, he is asian so was avoided by the other kids...you know what she's like with hair and shes never seen straight pitch black hair before... she gushed about him for a few days then they became best freinds....And she call's him her boyfriend because he is the first male friend shes made! God henry really shes three! There none of that shit yet...not for a good few years!" You turned away from your sheepish husband.

"So? nothing i need to know? theres nothing going on? whats his parents like?" You blinked at him..

"Seriously? Like are you being serious now?  Ok well fuck it his dad has taken over the doctors surgery and is actually your and my doctor now that dr marsh has retired! His mother is a stay at home wife, they have a cat called fuji; cos he is fat and a gold fish called mino because its a mino...he is a sweet polite boy ...his favourite colour is green he grows fruit and veg in his garden and you know what Henry he fucking loves batman! and whne he batman versus superman comes out he is gonna want batman to kick your ass! there you happy Jesus fucking christ almighty!" Henry smirked moving towards you slowly stalking towards you really.

"Fuck off" he just chuckled quickly wrappjng himself around you.

"God your so sexy when our mad come here~" you blinked at him

"Oh hell no You did not get me riled up to have rough sex.....Henry I!....you little shit!" He laughed knowing you’d caught onto him making you more irritated and dragged you to the bed kissing at your neck along the way.

"Come on love time for number two...A boy to keep and eye on Paige for me when I'm away!" You chuckled relenting as he laid you down on your bed.

[lochrannn]

Warnings: Sexual Content (M Rating)

Characters: Lila Pitts; Diego Hargreeves; Hargreeves Siblings (background)

Relationship: Lila Pitts/Diego Hargreeves

Roommates AU; Fake Marriage; Slow Burn; Mutual Pining

Chapter 1/?

-

So it’s been a week since Lila fooled around with her roommate… her landlord?

… Diego! It’s been a week since Lila fooled around with Diego and she’s just a bit unsure about how she’s supposed to feel about it.

It’s not like things have become completely awkward, per se. They hadn’t been hanging out beforehand, they’d just been two people who were polite and courteous about sharing a living space.

One time she’d offered him the rest of her dinner that she’d cooked when he had come in really late in the evening - he kept odd working hours, but then she’s always thought Americans are bad at striking a healthy work life balance - and she’d kept him company in the kitchen while he was eating. They’d had a pleasant chat and she’d felt reassured then that he seemed like a decent enough guy, but that was basically that.

Until he walked into the living room one sweltering afternoon, while she was in the kitchen, apparently didn’t realise she was there, decided to have himself some alone time, and all of a sudden she was treated to his deep, rich voice making all of these rumbling sexy noises, and when she spotted his face turned up to the ceiling where his head was resting on the back of the couch, eyebrows knitted together, full lips slightly parted, eyes closed in concentration, it hit her like a tone of bricks how fucking hot he was.

So in the spur of the moment she decided to get herself involved. And all things considered, she can’t get herself to regret that. Not least because Diego reciprocated so thoroughly that for the last week she’s not been able to stop thinking about his lips, and tongue, and teeth on her every time she’s bumped into him. And sometimes even completely out of nowhere when he isn’t even around.

She told him not to make things weird after and he’d cockily responded with, “Why would I?”, leant into her where she was still sitting on the sofa, kissed her till she was breathless, clearly encouraged by the way she couldn’t help melting against her, before heading out again and to go and meet some family.

And maybe he isn’t being weird, maybe it’s her. He’s not mentioned it again and they’ve gone back to mostly just living their separate lives while in the same space, but maybe with this gentle underlying buzz of tension that wasn’t really there before.

And Lila’s noticed that when she finished his bottle of fizzy ice tea, he replaced it right away but hasn’t touched it himself since. Curious.

-

And so, of course, they inevitably end up in bed together.

It’s hot, and fun, and maybe a little rough, because she niggles and needles at Diego until he holds her down, until her muscles ache from how hard she’s shaking, and afterwards she doesn’t get up and go back to her room, instead she falls asleep with him, too tired and sated to move.

Lila wakes up in the middle of the night and is just a bit disoriented at first until the memories flood back in and she realises she’s lying with her head cushioned on Diego’s arm and her back nestled up against his side. He must have his face turned towards her because she can feel his breath ever so slightly hit the back of her head.

Idly, she wonders if she should head to her own bed, avoid the inevitable awkwardness of waking up together in the morning. At least, she thinks, her legs will support her now, she wasn’t too sure about that earlier. But she’s so comfortable and it’s been a while since she’s gone to sleep with anyone and not just fucked them, that she decides against bursting their little bubble and instead lays her hand in Diego’s outstretched palm in front of her, interlaces their fingers, and turns her head a bit so she can press her lips to his biceps.

Lila thought he was asleep, but when she kisses his arm she can feel him hum deep in his chest and he turns around and readjusts till he has his whole front tightly pressed to her back and throws his arm over her torso, splaying his long fingers over her belly.

“Hey,” he whispers and kisses her shoulder gently.

With a hum of her own, Lila stretches like a cat, mostly in response to the shiver that runs down her spine at the sound of his voice and then she thinks fuck it and covers his hand with hers and carefully moves it down and in between her legs.

Diego catches on immediately and nudges his knee between her thighs to give them more room to stroke and tease her together and Lila is delighted with the way he lets her direct his fingers, show him where she wants to be touched and how, while Diego scrapes his teeth over the top of her spine and then sucks hard at the spot.

It’s all too much and not enough for Lila, as she feels her muscles flutter around nothing and when she starts grinding into his hand that she’s pressing hard against herself with her own, she feels his arousal nudge against her bum. On impulse Lila tilts her hips further forward and reaches in between her own legs to align them, and before she can push back, Diego nudges his hips against her and pushes into her almost painfully slowly.

As a shaky breath escapes her lips and she hears a very similar noise from Diego, that he hums into her neck, a tiny rational part of her thinks they should have probably stopped to get a condom, but she’s too turned on to hold on to that thought, when Diego starts rhythmically filling to the hilt, never thrusting, never speeding up, just slowly but surely winding her up, until she has to sink her teeth into the flesh of his arm, making him hiss but not draw away, to muffle her loud moans.

Diego’s fingers continue to rub her in gentle but unwavering circles and Lila moves her own hand to feel where they’re joined. And as she feels with her fingertips how he’s stretching her, how tightly her muscles are contracting around him, the dam breaks and the orgasm that has so persistently been building washes through her, making her skin tingle from the roots of her hair to her toes and she makes a small whimpering noise with how she feels it absolutely everywhere.

Diego grunts and she can feel him begin to pull away, so on some possibly hormone driven instinct, she reaches back quickly and clamps her hand on his hip to hold him in place.

“Lila, I’m gonna…” Diego rushes out in a whisper but Lila interrupts him with, “it’s ok!” and a harsh breath escapes him before he pushes into her only a few more times and then empties himself inside her with a soft moan.

They’re both panting despite the fact that they barely moved the entire time and as Lila can feel her heart racing and a warm feeling spreading out from her centre and all through her body and into her limbs, she turns around in Diego’s arms, ignores the slightly unpleasant sensation between her legs, hooks one over his hip so she can hold onto him tightly and softly brushes her lips against his, glad for the dark, because she’s not so sure she knows what she’d do if she could see his expression properly.

Diego responds by tightening his arms around her and deepening the kiss, until all she can focus on is the way his tongue slides against hers, the soft pressure of his full lips, and the way they stretch into a smile as she hums drowsily into his mouth.

Lila loses track of time and at some point they must fall asleep because she wakes in the early hours of the morning, slightly less entangled in Diego’s limbs but still pressed into his side, and in the cold harsh light of day, as her rational thoughts are no longer completely being drowned out by her desire, she realises the stupid mistake she made during the night, and swallowing down her panic, slips out of Diego’s hold and his room to find a pharmacy and a morning after pill as quickly as possible.

-

Diego is drifting in and out of sleep when the comfortable weight at his side suddenly disappears and Lila leaves him in the early hours of the morning, closing the door silently behind herself but somehow the sound nevertheless reverberates around Diego’s sparsely furnished room.

His arm feels so suddenly unoccupied and useless that he tucks it behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling and watches dustmotes float around in the sunlight that filters in through his half drawn drapes.

He doesn’t go back to sleep, even though a quick look at his alarm clock tells him that it’s very early, instead he lies awake and frets.

How has he let this happen again? He’d felt guilty enough about it the first time around and had promised himself not to indulge in anything more with Lila again, whatever his feelings might be and yet now he’s taken her to bed and though she was enthusiastic about it, how can he be fully certain that she doesn’t think he has some kind of expectation now, or that her continued stay in his apartment is somehow dependent on her willingness fuck him?

And then he remembers that he slept with her without a condom.

“Fuck!” he says out loud. He’s not some horny teenager anymore, he knows so much better than this. Unbidden his thoughts drift to his biological mother, a woman he’s never known, and wonders whether she’d been in a similar situation, whether some asshole who couldn’t keep it in his pants had left her high and dry when she got pregnant, leaving her with no other option than to give him away.

Diego covers his eyes with his hand, pressing his fingers into them in an attempt to stave off the tears that are threatening to leak out.

Fuck, he’s a grown-ass man, and he might have a failing business and apparently really shitty luck with women, cause of course the first time he meets someone he feels truly drawn to in years, she’s his fucking tenant, but he’s damned if he won’t take responsibilty for his own actions.

He’s got to get to work, but the next time he sees her, he needs to clear the air with Lila.

[supernaturalfreewill]

Words: 3,306 Sam x Reader Warnings: none! Summary: Y/N deals with the aftermath of what she has just seen when she stops in The Ivy Cafe in town. A/N: Shit is about to hit the fan. Maybe. Maybe not. This is part of a series! Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3, and Part 4 first!

Your name: submit What is this?

You felt frozen. You couldn’t believe what you were looking at. You stepped back absently so she was out of view again, your mouth agape, and realized vaguely that they were calling your name—your latte was ready. You accepted it aimlessly but immediately dug into your pocket for your cell phone and dialed your sister. It was like you needed to confirm that you had really just seen what you had just seen.

You heard her characteristic ringtone clearly from where you were standing, your cell pressed up to your ear.

You swallowed hard at the strangled feeling in your throat, trying to clear it so you could get some air. You felt a little like you were reeling. Who the hell is that guy? What do I do? Do I confront her? Fuck! Sam was literally right outside waiting in the car… You started to head for the door and as you reached it, one hand on the handle to push it open, you glanced back over your shoulder across the café. You had a clear view of them now, and your stomach rolled as you watched her lean forward and kiss him, one of her hands sliding into his hair to pull him in, breaking away with a smile on her face. You turned away abruptly and pushed outside, glancing quickly over at the car. Sam was leaning back in the passenger seat, his eyes closed, faced turned toward his open window to feel the breeze.

I’m gonna be sick. The potential implications of what you had just seen were making you dizzy.

You rushed into the pharmacy, praying that Sam’s prescription was ready. All you wanted to do was put as much distance between where you and Sam were and what you had just seen. Maybe if you put physical distance between you and them you wouldn’t have to deal with what was happening, maybe it would become untrue. What the hell were you supposed to do with what you had just seen? You hastily grabbed Sam’s meds and rushed back out to the car, your latte still in your hand, completely forgotten. You slid into the driver seat and plopped it down in the cup holder. Sam looked over at you and straightened up. He immediately sensed that something was wrong.

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

You couldn’t look at him. You just started the car and threw it into gear. “Mhm! Yep! Let’s just get you home,” you said. “I’m sure you’re ready to be home…”

He waited for you to look over at him, to meet his eyes, but you just stared straight ahead through the windshield. “Are you sure you’re alright?” Sam asked again. You could hear the sweet concern in his voice, but it also still had that vaguely dreamy quality.

You did your best to shove down the feelings of anger, shock, and disbelief that were threatening to overwhelm you and arrange your face into a small smile so you could turn and meet his eyes. “I’m fine, Sam. How are you?”

He gave you a small, somewhat crooked smile, his eyebrows lifting a little in relief from your words. “I’m great. But a bit tired.” He yawned again and leaned his head back against the headrest of his seat.

“I can imagine,” you said, turning onto the highway. “Let’s get back to the bunker so you can rest.” Your voice came out much softer than you meant it to, but luckily Sam seemed to have bought your forced smile. You were a little grateful that he was still a bit loopy, because sober Sam probably would have seen through you in a heartbeat. He always could tell when something was wrong. You bit your cheek to keep angry and disgusted tears from welling up in your eyes.

You raced the whole way back and the time had passed mostly in silence. Sam seemed to be dozing a little, in and out of being awake, the toll of the painkillers and probably the physical trauma as well. But you finally pulled into the underground garage and parked your car. Sam climbed out and said your name to grab your attention as you were shutting your door.

“Your coffee,” he said, holding the paper cup you had completely forgotten about in the cup holder. You stared at the printed logo on the side: The Ivy Café. “You didn’t drink any?” he said, giving you a questioning look. You were never one to leave undrunk coffee undrunk.

You nodded and forced another smile, shrugging. “Wasn’t as tired as I thought,” you said. “Plus, I probably already had too much coffee this morning. Here, I’ll take that,” you said, accepting the cup from him and falling into stride next to him. “You take this.” You handed him the little paper bag with his prescription. “You can’t take any until tonight, though, okay? Doctor’s orders.”

Sam thanked you and smiled. “Okay. Got it.” He turned and gave you a sleepy smile. “Thanks again for today. I know you wasted a whole afternoon on me at that doctor’s office...”

Wasted? On Sam? There was no such thing. You felt a bubble of emotion rising up in your throat again at his words and you tried to choke it down, tried to clear the tightness. “No need to thank me for that,” you said quietly.

“Well… I really appreciate it anyway.” Sam let out another yawn as you both reached Dean and the Impala, which seemed to be mostly back together as Dean was putting his tools away.

“So, are you bionic now or what?” he asked Sam, giving him a smirk and patting him hard on the back.

Sam held up his cast. “I don’t think so.”

“Still hopped up on the good stuff?” Dean asked. Sam let out a big yawn again and shrugged.

“Hand doesn’t hurt. I’m mostly just sleepy now,” he said.

Dean nodded. “Damn. Sounds like I missed the fun Painkiller Sam,” he laughed, giving you a knowing look. You returned the smile as best you could and put a gentle hand on Sam’s back, encouraging him to head in, your fingertips floating lightly over his shirt. Electricity shot up his spine and he actually jumped a little in response and looked down at you.

“Oh—sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you,” you apologized, misreading his reaction.

“That’s alright—It wasn’t—you didn’t—” Sam’s tongue suddenly felt twisted in his mouth. He couldn’t quite get the right words out. He avoided Dean’s perceptive gaze, ignoring the little smirk playing across his lips. “Umm… I’m gonna go get some food and then take a nap, I think…” he said awkwardly.

“Good idea. You coming in?” you asked Dean, trying to give him a meaningful look behind Sam’s back.

“Yep. I’ll be right in,” he said. His brow dropped low over his eyes at the expression on your face. It immediately created a hard pit in his stomach.

_ _ _ _ _ _

You hadn’t stopped pacing since you had made it to your room. And every other cross of the area rug you looked up at that little paper coffee cup, the familiar logo on the side, sitting in the middle of your desk, the liquid inside now completely cold.

Sam had let you make him a grilled cheese but he had also obviously noticed that you were much quieter than usual. You had to excuse yourself from the kitchen because you just couldn’t handle it anymore—you felt sick. And you felt like you were lying to him. You never wanted to lie to him. He deserved so much more than that. Another minute and you would have burst out with what you had seen and you really didn’t want him to hear it while he was exhausted and potentially still a bit fuzzy from the meds. So, you had run away and sequestered yourself in your bedroom, where all you could do was obsess over what you had seen and try to rationalize it. But there was no way to rationalize the way she had kissed him. Or the way she had ignored your call. Again. How many times was that today? While Sam was enduring the pain of a displaced and broken bone in his hand?

Almost as if on cue, your cell phone started to ring and you startled, looking down to see your sister’s name flashing on the screen. You shut your eyes and tried to steady yourself. “Fuck.” You answered, trying to sound normal. “Hello?”

“Hey, sis! Sorry, I missed your calls and texts! It was super loud at lunch and then I was in the movie. How is Sam?”

“How was the movie?” you asked her, hoping your voice didn’t sound as stiff as you felt.

“Oh, it was good! I mean, a little more jump scare than psychological thriller but—still good. So, how is Sam? How is his hand?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose and shut your eyes tightly, sitting rigidly on the edge of your bed. “Well, it’s very broken. He has a cast. He has to wear it for 6 weeks at least.”

“Oh, no… My poor guy… God, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there today,” she said. “I can’t wait to get home and see how he is. Is he in a lot of pain?”

You gritted your teeth. “He’s on a lot of painkillers, but I’m sure it still hurts. I mean they had to force the bone back into the right place.”

“Ugh. Poor, Sam.”

“Yeah… well… How is—how’s Sarah?” You were gonna make her say it. You were going to make her lie to you over and over. There would be no way for her to say it was a mistake. And maybe it would be enough to force you to leap over the disbelief and spinning confusion and the sick feeling in your stomach and push you straight into whatever had to come next.

“She seems good. Yeah, seems fine. Still really busy with work like usual,” your sister said. Her tone was cheery and upbeat, but to you it just sounded disingenuous.

“Good. That’s good…” There was a beat of silence.

“Well, I’m just leaving the movie theater, so I should be home in like half an hour or so. Maybe a little more.”

“Mhm. Okay. See you later.” You didn’t even wait to say goodbye. You just hung up. You flopped backwards onto your back from the edge of the bed, rubbing both your hands over your face and heaving a heavy sigh. Fuck. Now what? Anger started to bubble again in your chest and you jumped up, casting one more look at The Ivy Café cup on your desk, and striding out into the hallway.

You could see that Sam’s bedroom door was open as you headed down the hall, so you stopped to check on him and you felt like your heart broke at the sight. He was collapsed on his bed, sleeping with his cast propped up on his stomach. You leaned against the doorframe for a moment, resting your head against the cool wood, and just looked at him fondly while your mind spun. He didn’t know. For now, he didn’t know. What would come next? You felt like it was up to you in some sick way… what to do?

Sam was sleeping with the blankets all crunched down at the end of the bed and you quietly tiptoed in and pulled them over him. He didn’t stir. You studied his peaceful expression for another moment and then stepped out to find Dean.

“Hey,” you said, finding him at his desk in his room, laptop open.

His face was serious, worried. “Hey. What’s going on?” He watched as your jaw tensed.

“Meet me in the garage in five minutes?”

He nodded. “Sure.” The flat tone of your voice only increased his anxiety.

Five minutes later, he was leaning up against the Impala, patiently waiting for the sound of the door from the bunker swinging open and the familiar cadence of your footsteps. He straightened up when the metallic echo of the slamming door announced your arrival. His face darkened when you finally came into view and he saw that you had your shotgun slung over one shoulder and were carrying a gun case in your other hand.

“Whoa—whoa. What’s going on? You’re freaking me out, Y/N,” Dean said. “Do I need to go get my guns?”

Your face was impassive as you met his eyes. “You can if you want. I just really need to shoot something right now.”

Dean looked uneasy. “…something. As long as it isn’t someone.”

Your jaw tensed again. “You coming?” You didn’t wait for his answer, but you could tell he was following you with long strides. You exited through a side door in the garage and started the walk on a well-beaten track into the open space and woods behind the bunker. You had a target range set up back there and goddammit, did you need to shoot something.

Dean watched you open up your gun case, leaning your unloaded shotgun against a nearby stump. You grabbed a pair of ear muffs and threw it at him. Dean caught them, pulling them on as he watched you expertly load the magazine into your pistol, pull on your own ear protection, and take aim at the target. You fired your entire magazine rapidly, 7 rounds, straight into the center of the paper target, and with cold indifference swapped in your spare magazine and fired 5 more.

Dean’s unease grew. He stepped up next to you as you let your pistol drop to your side, and your other hand pressed over your face. You shut your eyes for a moment and tried to take a stabilizing breath, smelling the cloud of gunpowder hazy in the air. You ejected the empty magazine from your handgun and replaced it in the gun case.

“Y/N…” Dean said hesitantly.

“No,” you said. You picked up your shotgun and loaded 5 shells. “Not yet.”

Dean gulped.

You stepped up to the firing line again and aimed for the targets hanging in the trees, blasting each one in quick succession, and even causing one to drop off its rope onto the ground. Dean stared at the empty shell casings smoking on the ground, but he just waited this time. You heaved a sigh and pulled your ear muffs off, letting them hang around your neck, and you set your shotgun back in its place against the stump.

Dean pulled off his ear protection too and waited for you to look up at him. His apprehension was growing by the moment. Finally, you sank down on a large round of cut wood and looked at him. Dean gulped and cleared his throat.

“This is about Sam?” he asked. He thought you had finally reached the point where you couldn’t stand it anymore—couldn’t handle Sam being with your sister and having to sit by and watch them be together. Maybe his idea that you spend some time with Sam that day was about to backfire—maybe you were going to leave.

But your answer wasn’t exactly what he expected. “Sort of.”

“Sort of?” he repeated. He watched as you absently started reloading your pistol magazines. Your hands needed something to do—you felt frantic inside.

“It’s more about my sister than Sam but… obviously that means it is also about him.”

Dean’s face contracted in confusion and he shook his head vaguely in a question. “Okay…” His voice was deeper and had more gravel to it than usual.

You nervously chewed the inside of your cheek, forcing another bullet against the spring in the magazine. “We went to pick up Sam’s prescription after his appointment and they told me it would take them a little while to get it ready. So, I decided to grab a coffee while I waited.”

“Okay…” Dean shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. The wrinkles in his brow were heavy.

“I saw my sister when I went into the café.” Your hands ceased all anxious movement. “She was there with someone.”

Dean just stared at you, trying hard to read on your face what was coming.

“She was not with her friend Sarah today. And they were not having lunch and going to a movie. She was—she was with some guy. And—” you swallowed at the annoying tight lump in your throat that seemed to keep re-forming. “And she was holding his hand and I watched them kiss.” Your eyes finally raised to meet Dean’s.

Dean felt a swelling of confusion and disbelief in his chest, quickly followed by a wave of anger. “…You’re sure?” The gravel in his voice was even heavier now than before. Your answer was to give him a look that clearly said ’seriously?’.

You tilted your head as you stared at him. “You think I would mistake seeing that? I even called her phone while I was standing maybe 8 feet away and I watched her ignore the call. And just now, she finally called me back to see how Sam was and she told me the same lie—that she was with Sarah and they went to a movie and lunch. She couldn’t be there for him today because she was busy cheating on him. He was having a bone in his hand forced back into place, and she was cheating on him.”

Dean paced a tight circle, rubbing a hand over the shadow of stubble on his chin. “And Sammy, he didn’t, uhh—”

“No. No, he was in the car…” The blank look on your face morphed into anguish as Dean looked at you. “Dean, what the hell am I supposed to do here? I mean, he has to know… I can’t let him just go on knowing that—that it’s all a lie.”

Dean felt an uncomfortable sense of déjà vu. Hadn’t Sam said the same thing about staying with your sister when he had since fallen hard for you? It was all a lie, that he was deceiving himself. Dean’s mind raced. Long-term he was thinking that maybe this would somehow work out for the best but in the short-term… goddamn, it was going to be a mess and it was going to hurt like a bitch…

“Okay… Okay,” Dean muttered to himself, pacing another couple of tight circles. “Well, I agree with you. He has to find out but—the question is how?”

“Exactly. Do I tell him? Do I confront her and make her tell him? Do we somehow help him find it out for himself? I mean—what the fuck do we do?”

Dean looked at you, his mouth hanging open a little, at a loss. He shook his head absently, his green eyes wide. “I can see why you needed to shoot something…” he said vaguely.

You sighed and nodded. “Yeah…”

[senorarelojes]

Fic: Precious (2/?)

Title: Precious (2/?) Pairing: Dave/Alan Rating: NC-17 Additional Tags: Mpreg, ABO verse

Summary: "What's wrong with me? Am I sick?" Dave asked.

"No, Mr Gahan," the doctor replied. "You're pregnant."

Part 1 is here.

.

(It’s something I’m just writing for fun for @pinksyndication so please don’t take it too seriously and don’t click if male pregnancy isn’t your thing, sorry!)

. “I’m sorry?” Dave’s voice sounded very faraway to his own ears, as though he were underwater. “Could you repeat what you said?”

Dr Takeda’s lips pressed together firmly in sympathy. “Mr Gahan, do you know what an omega is?”

Dave found himself nodding blankly. “But I’m a beta,” he insisted, his hands twitching for a cigarette. He needed one very badly. “My mum brought me for tests when I hit puberty--”

“As you know, the technology to determine whether a person is an alpha, beta or omega is still in its infancy,” Dr Takeda said patiently. “Even here in Japan, most of the population are betas. The doctors you saw earlier? We still don’t understand the biology behind it. You’re the first omega we’ve seen in Kyoto.”

This couldn’t be happening. This just couldn’t be happening. Dave stared at the floor, at his shaking hands. The senior female doctor said something quietly to Dr Takeda, then she got up and left. She returned in a few minutes with a cup of water and a kind smile for Dave. 

“I don’t understand,” Dave said. He felt like he wanted to faint, like he was running out of air.

Dr Takeda gestured towards the senior female doctor. “This is Dr Watanabe, she is a bit more familiar with omega biology,” he explained. “I will translate, okay?”

***

When Daryl came to fetch him, Dave didn’t tell him about the results. He could see Daryl frowning in confusion when they collected prenatal vitamins and folic acid from the hospital pharmacy, but Dave avoided all his questions. Down outside the lobby, they waited for the town car that Daryl had called for. Dave was almost in the middle of lighting a cigarette when he remembered it would be bad for the baby. He handed over his packet of cigs to Daryl, who looked even more mystified.

“You sure you okay, mate?” Daryl asked. “Was it food poisoning?”

“I’m six weeks pregnant,” Dave said, staring into the distance.

Daryl rolled his eyes. “You’re in a mood. Fine, I’ll stop asking since you don’t want to tell me.”

The car ride back was silent and tense. Dave stared at the medical reports that the doctors had given him, unable to make sense of any of it even if they were in English. He was a beta, he’d been so sure of that growing up. Omegas were rare in England, alphas even more so. Dave had experienced a relatively normal and healthy sex life with plenty of women - and one man. He’d never experienced any heats (which omegas seemed to go through frequently) or even bouts of sexual aggression that he heard some alphas were prone to.

Fuck, he didn’t even know what he was going to tell Jo.

When they got back to the hotel, they arrived at the same time as the little tour bus which had taken the rest of the band sight-seeing. Martin and Fletch tumbled out first, laughing and laden with bags of shopping. Alan was not far behind, looking a bit worn and hiding behind his shades as usual. However, his face lit up when he spotted Dave in the lobby.

“How was the hospital?” he asked, his smile falling away when he got a closer look at Dave’s face. “You alright? You look a bit pale.”

“I need to talk to you,” Dave said in a low, urgent voice. “Your room?”

Alan nodded, frowning in concern. “Yeah, all right.”

They bumped into Martin and Fletch at the lifts. “Hey, what did the doctor say?” Fletch asked, gesturing at the hospital envelope that Dave was clutching. “Was it gastroenteritis? Mart was saying it was probably that.”

Dave shook his head. “No, it wasn’t.”

Fletch scoffed when it was clear Dave wasn’t going to say anything else. “Well, don’t chatter on about it.”

Martin must have taken pity on him, changing the subject by pointing at Alan. “Al, show Dave that thing you bought for him at that shopping street in Higashiyama.”

“Oh, right.” Alan rummaged through his bags, fishing out an adorable little traditional Japanese toy drum. “You were talking about wanting to learn drums, right? So here you go,” he said with a little smile, handing it to Dave while Martin and Fletch laughed. Dave took it numbly, turning it back and forth in his hands. It was something meant for a very young child, and the rest had probably meant it as a joke.

Dave held it to his chest. He had no idea why he felt the silly compulsion to burst into tears, but he couldn’t do it in front of Martin and Fletch. “Thank you,” he said quietly to Alan, who seemed even more concerned now.

“Well it’s not fun anymore without your outrage,” Fletch huffed. 

“Lay off, Andy,” Alan said, a hand resting on Dave’s back. “Think Dave’s still really sick.”

They were still squabbling a little as they piled into the lift, but Dave didn’t hear a word any of them said. He just kept staring at the toy drum in his hands, wondering how the hell he was going to break the news to Alan.

[isakwon]

Where 3

Pairing: Kim Jongdae x reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Despite suspicions with coming home later than usual even without knowing where you stood, everything will be okay right

A/N: Based on a true story. 

Previous Chapter

You feel an immediate shock the next morning when Jongdae shows the photo of Naomi’s hand. The hand was covered with rashes and minor cracks with dried blood spots topping scratch lines. During the drive to the clinic, your daughter wouldn’t stop scratching as she was half asleep. Jongdae opens the entrance door for you carrying Naomi and the front desk women say their greeting. You pass your daughter over to your husband, and he gently lies Naomi over the chairs, removing his coat to cover her, and confirms that you would watch over her while he uses the restroom.

You fill out the patient check-in paperwork until a sudden thud and deafening cries ring around the room. Naomi was sprawling over the ground flat against her back screaming out painful cries.

You immediately flew to the ground and lifted her off with your arms. Jongdae bursts out the family restroom and once he sees his daughter with a red face, wailing, and crying, he rushes over to the chairs. This very fear of your daughter being harmed since pregnancy made you feel anxious and guilt that you couldn’t catch her in time. You whisper promises into her crown that you have her and how she was okay while rocking back and forth in the chair.

Your husband begins rubbing her back and head. He pecks kisses over the toddler before asking what had just happened. When you told him that she fell off, his eyebrows furrowed immediately.

“You said you would watch her.” He said sternly. “She wouldn’t have fallen off if I didn’t use the restroom then. What in the world were you doing?”

“Well, you should’ve gone before we left,” You sassed, placing another kiss over your daughter’s head “I had to check her in for an appointment.” Naomi stops sobbing, officially wide awake with her face was still red overall and streams staining her cheeks, making sniffs through her button nose. She uses the fabric of your shirt to wipe herself from her tears as Jongdae stops caressing her.

Some static sounds brought your eyes to wherever the static flows through your ears until you watch your husband insert a peppermint candy into Naomi’s mouth. You dislike children receiving candy first thing in the morning, especially toddlers. It wasn’t the time to stop Jongdae, and the bright side was that Naomi had stopped crying.

She reaches herself out toward Jongdae for him to take her. He takes her after sliding closer until your knees touch. She was always the greatest gift you ever conceived. He keeps his noggin off Naomi and without a word, the two of you stay together watching your daughter while she watches the movie.  

Since the other night when you and Jongdae made an agreement to work regular hours, provided the favor spending a quality amount of time together was working decently, and surprise calls from your daughter asking when you two would arrive home. Thankfully bill prices have been lowered due to using utilities responsibly; however, the mortgage for the house remains the same.

However, Jongdae hasn’t had his phone ring nonstop for forever such as how much the device has been ringing this morning. Naomi wiggles out from Jongdae’s lap, the boredom of the movie and runs through the waiting room to a water fountain. She doesn’t care for the button that dispenses water and instead grabs the sleeve of paper cups.

Jongdae pulls his phone out from his pocket while you finish filling out the paperwork. While you sit beside him, whoever your husband was speaking to sounded like they were yelling. They probably are since you can almost hear what they are saying and the way your husband is reacting

He stands from the chair. “Honey, I have to go.”

He kisses you on the head, unseeing how baffled you are by this sudden goodbye. Months prior there were issues with paying two coverages for two vehicles. Then Jongdae took the option for having his car towed which now leaves the family with only one car. One car wasn’t bad if there was a plan on how to get around. But, if Jongdae leaves right now, then you and Naomi can’t get home. You can’t visit the pharmacy for medicine without the vehicle.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to work,” He said, swinging his coat on as he parted his lips. You just arrived at the clinic, for what reason should he leave right now? This made you raise your eyelids with surprise because the company shouldn’t open until another hour.

“But, your shift starts at nine.” The reception nurse retrieves the papers and clipboard along with the ink pen.

Jongdae sighs, “I know.”

When he asks for the keys, you notice his brows are quirked upwards and the worry within his gaze. Jongdae rarely makes his expressions like the way he is making them now. Just seeing him that way, your looks reflected your husbands’ except your lips are formed into circular shape opposing to his purse ones. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

Jongdae said that he needed to use the restroom, but he must’ve used that as an excuse to answer the phone. There was nothing wrong with responding anymore after these past months. “Nothing.”

That rose a brow. “What do you mean ‘nothing’?”

“Nothing happened. But I have to go.”

Nothing has ever been hidden from each other especially from the workplace, and Jongdae wasn’t the very best from lying. He disliked hearing lies as much as you, and he promised with his vows that as a husband and father, he would never keep anything from you. For as long as you know Jongdae, once his problems were indeed resolved, his chest became a dis-inflated balloon releasing air. If he doesn’t precisely know what was occurring in the company, he wouldn’t be frantic about leaving.

“Jongdae, I know you,” you said, concerned and able to see him anxious. The problem must be a grave one where your home could be taken away at one point, making you wonder if it would be that fruitful. The company might disperse forever, and if Jongdae weren’t hired for another job soon, the down payment for the house would be harder. You were afraid of losing the home, fearful about providing for Naomi, but mostly for your husband. Because what if the business was swimming but has a problem with Jongdae for whatever reason? Will he be able to take getting fired and keep his head above the clouds?

You could ask and offer the position on working together and still be a family with few worries. Why would Jongdae be fired though, he was admired for by his boss. When you met his coworkers, they were venting about Jongdae and his exuberant affection around their floor. Listening to positive characteristics about your husband made you smile. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Y/N nobody said they’re lying.” He squints his eyes. His hand was hovering mid-air before him, waiting for the car keys, but you don’t hand them out to him. You keep them hooked onto your fingers.

“You look depressed though,” you said, “Are you sure nothing happened?”

“Yes!” He exclaims. The volume in his voice rose slightly although the attempts on convincing yourself that you were exaggerating, the reception nurses seemed to notice also. You were feeling apprehensive and tense from his risen volume where booms around the empty clinic room. You were taken aback with how Jongdae answered and the way he rolled his eyes at you.

“I’m not depressed either.” He says. You backed your upper body, Jongdae whines often but he always keeps his attitude positive that made him somewhat amusing. Admittedly that was one of your favorite traits about him.

However the crummy behavior today consists an annoyed snap out his throat, his hands clawing, and scrunched eyebrows is as rare as Jongdae having crummy behavior in general. “Don’t bring random shit out of the blue.”

“Babe, why are you yelling? I’m right in front of you.”

You look like something had just been snatched from your hands. Your husband's phone starts ringing again which grasps your hearing but probably not Jongdae since he cannot hear.

“Y/N the company needs me urgently.” The room feels like being stranded in an abandoned building in the middle of the largest desert. The concerns for how you would get out from the land of nowhere being for what will happen to your husband. The frustration for the longer staying in nowhere without figures getting out for how Jongdae feels the rush to leave, taking that out on you. Nobody else around and nothing around except dirt valleys. “I’m trying to leave, but you don’t seem to allow that.”

“Well, what happened at work?” Your husband certainly doesn’t see the concern for him, or he chooses not to see them. The phone jingle tune turns on inside his blazer pocket with the keys jingling against your fingers moving back and forth. Jongdae stood several inches and three feet apart from you, turning his head away, inhaling through his nose. Is he trying to relax his temper? While he thinks he’s hiding it, you can see his clenched jaw and eyes closed lashes over his cheekbones. “I’m worried about the boss firing you, but you’re telling me that nothing is wrong when clearly something is.”

He turns around again, “Y/N, it’s none of your business!”

This argument contained zero physical harm but certainly provided the feeling of your heart squeezing like a lime slice. Indeed included nothing insane like your husband slapping you, or you slapping him however your mouth dangles wide open. Now showing off the same frustrating features off Jongdae and standing off the seat. The worries disperse into smoke clouds, nausea spreading around your stomach, paper-thin sweat and an itch ghosting the base of your neck. That was the borderline of your’s and Jongdae’s patience.

Your nostrils flared before starting again. “How-“

Suddenly some paper cups appear flying out from nowhere hitting the chairs between you and Jongdae. The popping sounds successfully put the arguing onto halt once you saw them. They bounced off the chair and stopped between your feet as both of you turn to see wherever the cups came from the spot where your daughter Naomi is staring toward you. She has about four more paper cups in one hand while standing behind a nurse who stood underneath an open door, wearing a polite smile that seems forced, with her naturally frizzy hair tied back into a tail. Naomi creeps closer to the door where the nurse looks toward the reception nurses hiding their faces below and away from the front counter. The argument became louder than thought until you couldn’t hear the nurse’s call.

“Mister and Missus Kim.”  

She wore dinosaur printed scrub shirt and dark blue scrub bottoms and a stethoscope around her neck. You bite down your bottom lip before helping Jongdae pick the cups off the ground and tossing them into the trash bin. She shakes both your hands and introduces herself as Nurse Terri. Naomi leaves, placing the paper cups she held back over the refreshment table while returning the favor until Jongdae’s phone begins ringing again. After releasing the nurse’s hand, he pulls out the phone, checking the caller ID and as expected he excuses himself and answers. You rolled your eyes while shaking your head without thinking to stop him. “I’m sorry about my husband.”

“No worries, I live with someone similar.”  A corner of your lip tugs upward then your daughter begins hitting the nurse with her endless curiosity about the dinosaur print scrubs. Three months past your daughter had an obsession for anything related to Hawaii, but now her newest passion became dinosaurs. She names each versatile picture that she points out and then asking your daughter which one was her favorite and Naomi pointed her small little finger to her Father. She calls Jongdae as “him,” but you correct her that she should call your husband “Daddy” but a smile stretching over you.

Over the shoulder, Jongdae was still speaking into the phone about the appointment he made and if the company might be able to wait for him. If the nurses and Naomi have to wait any longer for you and your husband, the morning would suddenly become the afternoon. You turn around, arms crossed and releasing out an exhausted sigh.

His eyebrows knitted and question marks whirling around him then he whips his head with his shoulders jumping until he realizes you are touching his wrist. He lowers the phone below his ear, staring at you with the worried brown eyes, assuming that something will stir again. “Go ahead Dae. We’ll catch a cab.”

His eyebrows rise in surprise and his lips shaping into a circle. This was his opportunity to leave and begin work early to find what was going to happen.

“Papa!”

Jongdae sees Naomi standing bored within the hall corridor that leads into the patient rooms waiting for him and surprises you when he ends the call and hides the phone away. "I'll call in late."

                                  ——————————————

Throughout the appointment, you discover that Naomi became diagnosed with eczema. Eczema causes her skin to dehydrate, crack, itch, rash, and all of that spreads everywhere. It’s not contagious nor curable but can be treated. You both also found out that she has several allergic reactions to pollen, cedar, eggs, and tree nuts.

Before leaving Jongdae outside the company, neither one thought of saying a word to each other and also because of earlier. You don’t hold his hand like always because his hands gripped the steering wheel. After saying goodbye with hugs, it felt like he didn’t want yours either.

Your daughter watches the prescription ointment swirls fade onto the reddest parts of her skin, ”Smells like fruitcake!” she said while plugging her nose.

You look at her amused. “How do you know that princess?”

She inherits her buttoned nose from both parents and the whining from her dad, but only because she is a toddler. How Naomi behaves would suggest how she will grow up to become a young lady. Regardless of who she will be and what she wants to become, she was your daughter although the way she currently is would be excellent in the future. “Grandma said fruitcake is yucky.”

The temperature rose high now warmer than a few hours ago but the new restaurant-the one where you missed the date with Jongdae-keeps their propane torches burning. Outside you see Jongdae’s assistant employee, Jisoo waving from her chair and Naomi greets her with a hug.

“Hey sweetheart,” Jisoo was wearing active sports clothing and seemed to have already ordered judging by the green smoothie over the metal table. “How was the appointment?”

“It was all right,” you said, “We didn’t take long did we?”

Jisoo shakes her head, insisting that she barely arrived at the restaurant.

“You really liked that smoothie.” You said puzzled, glancing between her and the half empty cup. Jisoo started her diet before meeting her, and after the first taste of green smoothies, they weren’t her favorite.

She chuckles, “You know me, I asked for a pinch of cinnamon.”

You never met Jongdae’s assistant workers before even though he talked about them, and how meeting Jisoo happened was an evening trip to the supermarket. You and Jongdae were deciding which toilet paper package you should choose, and for only one minute, Naomi disappears from the aisle.

Thankfully she was roaming inside the next aisle stacked with beverages and candies. She bent down to grab gummy worms and places them inside a strange woman’s basket. The shopper turned around without moving from the spot, knelt down. She gives out a flustered laugh until you called out your daughter and she trots away from the person to you.

You apologized while giving out a flustered laugh until the woman comments about how your great it was finally meeting your daughter and you. She extended her arm, quite hesitant about the offered handshake, introducing herself as an employee for the company and how she knew you. One minute turned like an hour passed speaking with the woman who was Jongdae’s coworker and suddenly became an acquaintance after exchanging numbers.

Her chubby cheeks cooperated with her heart-shaped face. Her hair was a silver blonde ombré, tied back into a curled ponytail and long and dark eyelashes that you admire.

Jisoo raises the straw to her lip, asking about your family’s wellness, leaning against her arm. She was now the third person learning about your child having eczema while reading the ingredients under every menu option immensely. You explain her newfound allergies how she needs to drink her allergy medicine every morning too.

Your daughter lowered herself down off the chair, moving close, resting her head above your thighs, wrapping your knees with her arm. You ran fingers through her hair, feeling touched by her loving affection until she sees other children playing with some blocks over at the children area.

Naomi’s bubbly-ness adds much to her extrovert behavior. She gives interest in varied activities and favors whoever was playing with her, and wishes to meet them again someday. Some children were pretending to work in a restaurant and while Naomi attracts toward the plastic medical tools.

She doesn’t seem bothered about her condition, and neither are the other children, except, her skin was covered from the head down, and the cracks are light. “Poor baby.”

There was a pregnant woman outside sitting at the other end of the patio wearing thick wool cardigan and scarf, thickly covered, you could hardly notice the womb, but Naomi stood before the woman.

“How’s Jongdae?” She asks.

An instant reaction became dropping the teaspoon, an eye roll, and a deep sigh. You explain the concerns and your husband in a calming mindset which increases into venting about the argument at the clinic and the sentences your husband said that threw you over the edge.

The memories from the sudden outburst to paper cups aiming between you rumbling out your lips. It was ridiculous how being worried about someone who matters with the entire heart starts yelling as if you insulted Jongdae for trying to leave for work. The sentence ‘none of your business’ replaying brought steam huffing out the nose, a wave formed into your chest. Jongdae never said anything similar at all, and you’ve had frustrating moments as every couple and marriage.

Those moments have been resolved and forgotten, and neither of you said anything overboard until today, just thinking about what Jongdae said feels like a wound breaking open. Feeling more like skin getting a sliced wound. Your brain fueling with toxic emotions enough for your veins to become near visible. It seems a little extreme for such a mood, the best medicine you need was yelling.

You didn’t realize how much anger was returning until Jisoo grabs you by the wrist. She repeats the words calm down, trying to cut every sentence, and suggesting a sip of tea. She pleads for you to take deep breaths after drinking. You feel the muscles in your upper body stretch out from them flexing, without even realizing they were flexed. Your brows lowered down right above the eyes, and the air feels chill again.

Jisoo cracks her smile, still holding your wrist. “You know how snakes extend their body and hiss to scare their predators?”

The warm tea pooled inside your cheeks before falling down your throat, relaxing the heated knot in your esophagus. You nodded, thankfully Jisoo stopped the venting before the volume in your voice would grow higher in case you aren’t loud enough. “I think that perfectly resembles your anger just now.”

Miraculously, the exasperation became replaced with giggling before taking another sip of tea. You glance around the patio for Naomi whose now pretending to be a doctor, using the plastic stethoscope and checking the pregnant woman for a heartbeat. The tea was blowing the steam out.

“Look Y/N, Jongdae will think about the argument and later come around his senses.” Her hair floated around her shoulders with the wind blowing gently, making the air slightly colder. Her French manicured hand slaps back above your smooth, natural nailed hand as she smiles at you. “Has he ever gone way over his head before?”

Your husband and yourself have fought ever since living together as dating roommates, during your first Christmas that the white bulbs better than the colored ones. Arguing topics such as home decorating, spending too much money on something, and pretty much anything that resolves into disputes never was enough to stay mad at each other.

“Take one problem similar with Steph and me,” Jisoo continues, “When I told him I wouldn’t be present for his promotion because of some huge knot in my hair, he had gotten upset. He has been ignoring my calls, and I went off on him while he was at work.”

You listen onto her story while picking loose flakes off the croissant and glancing over your daughter. Eventually, Jisoo and her current partner realize both were in the wrong for ignoring each other and admitting fear of embarrassing him for the knot.

“I ended up being embarrassed after my brother Kyungsoo stroked my hair and the extension clipped off revealing my bald spot where the knot used to be.”

Maybe Jongdae will think about the things he said and feel some guilt for raising his voice. That he would realize that you were only concerned. Even when nobody deserves blame, he would surprise you with daisies. Jongdae was never one who brings problems back from the past nor holds grudges because he hates feuding with people close to him especially when the feuds were with you, his wife.

“What if he doesn’t?” You looked aside, pursing your lips thin. Not looking toward Jisoo nor Naomi. “What will I do if the argument flew out his memory?”

Jisoo gives your wrist the softest squeeze, “He’s your husband isn’t he?” You turn around, and you see her smirk. “You know him more than anybody, and he knows you more than anybody. Did you ever have doubt about each other?”

“No,” You say instantly, “of course not!”

Not once for halfway almost twenty years. If anybody asked, Jongdae is the one for you.

                                      ——————————

Naomi plasters her hands against the window, watching dozens of bodies exiting the building. You hold her carefully by her cushion bottom, watching over her shoulder. With the confidence for Jongdae, provided some sheet of doubt. What if the situation occurring at work was supposed to be kept as private?

Maybe that was why Jongdae said that nothing happened because he wasn’t allowed to talk about whether he was keeping the job or not. The more you thought the morning over, the more you realize how you were pushing Jongdae by asking him over and over. You insisted that repeating the question would have him answer, but instead, he lost his patience. Would he want to talk with you about his day?

Would he be calmed and accept affection from you once he exits? Jongdae doesn’t hold grudges and he can’t since you live together both inside a house and each other’s life.

Jongdae carries the title as the best husband and most amazing out of all men long before proposing. Admittingly, you never thought true love existed until that night when you trash talked him about his phone. Then wanted to prove your judgment wrong and asked for your number. “There’s Daddy!”

Your head lifts higher where you see your husband walking through the revolving glass door. The change from his neat self rose your eyebrows had his sleeves rolled above his arms and his lips downturn into such seriousness. The blazer he wore in the morning was missing, and his book bag strap dragged onto the ground.

Naomi jumps out the car, running away and throws her arms above her head in expectation of being carried. But Jongdae bends down and wraps his arms around his daughter as others walk around them like avoiding a force field. He held her around the middle, resting his hand behind her head and hiding his face.

They walked side to side where you meet them outside, stretching your arms to pull your husband into another embrace. Instead once Jongdae sees you, he ignores the open arms and places his over your cheek. His lip corners downturned with exhales and his smile eyes hidden behind his lowered lids and hair slicked back like his fingers ran through the strands numerous times. He looks exhausted.

Jongdae buckles Naomi into the car seat beside plastic grocery bags. He stops his movements and smiles party when you see him in the visor mirror where your daughter strokes the hair beside his temple. She says, “Papa, it’s cold.”

The buckle clicks. “I know baby.”

“Where’s your jacket?” You paid attention to the scenario in the backseat, knitting your brows again from the affection of Naomi. “Put it on pease.”

You always wanted to be good parents and raise your children with full hearts. What did you both do to deserve such a daughter?

Jongdae plants a quick kiss on her forehead before closing the door, quieter than expected. He sat in the driver seat, and you look down his arm considering to hold his hand, but you hesitated. “Y/N,” he begins.

“Hm?” Jongdae keeps his head toward the building occupying the expanded space in front as you stare at his side profile, searching for some sort of sign in his eyes. His face straight, knitting his brows twice, and biting his tongue, holding the steering wheel tight rather than your hand and his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. While waiting for something the hints over his facial expression increase the concerns into insecurity with Jongdae keeping his job.

“I’m going to start working early tomorrow.”

You blink and gape your mouth. “Oh.”

He doesn’t speak another word while you continue telling yourself that everything is fine, that everything is alright. You inhale your scent off the knuckles beneath the nose while turning toward the window. Maybe it wasn’t the right moment to mention the argument, so you stay quiet.

There’s a sudden tap over your knee being Jongdae’s hand. He keeps his eyes open for the road while you turn to him again. “Yeah.”

                                          ____________________

The worst possibilities that every company faces are crashing and becoming removed from the business. Hundreds of employees and the leaders losing their job without any idea of what will happen to them next. Anxious until they cry and throw tantrums about what to do, where to go, and pushing themselves with finding another suitable well-paying career fast. 

The minute he called you after dropping him off ten minutes ago, you felt sick to your stomach. The anxiety was tapping upon your shoulders once again. The minute he walked out the building carrying a cardboard box filled with his belongings, you began breaking down in tears.

Once Jongdae sees you, he dropped the box on the concrete and held you within his arms. Then while you wrap your arms around him, you muffled an apology though he didn’t hear. You wanted to blame yourself for not pushing him to leave the clinic, but he said that no one deserves blame. The car serving for a circular stone wall, blocking curious gazing, winter seeping through the closed doors, hiccups muffled, soaking each other’s shoulders. Including the most extended embrace ever in almost twenty years together with emotions of despair. 

Jongdae sobbed into your ear for what feels like the entire morning. Catching and wiping away each other’s tears with your hands while seated inside the car. It was also Naomi’s first day of school, and thankfully she was meeting and possibly already making friends instead of seeing the emotional breakdown. You stayed parked outside the building for another five minutes dropping tears onto each other’s shoulder. Finally, Jongdae calms the sobs and reclines the passenger seat to rest his head against the leather.  

With another hour before work, you thought about how to lift the moment somehow. The restaurant that both of you dined when you were both newlyweds welcomed you back and asked about what has been happening. You both disguise the devastation with fatigued smiles to talk about your daughter. The employees who remember you rejoice over her slight transformation from two months old into four years. Both you and Jongdae follow the waitress hand in hand.

The atmosphere around the restaurant felt somewhat relaxing with the inclusion of Jongdae’s hand beneath yours. Your faces direct toward each other, but your eyes focus on his hand while he focuses on the painted teal wall. His eyes were still forcing tears within making them shine despite being bloodshot. his nose cleansed, and he felt depressed for what just happened, and so were you. Then he mumbles apologies under his breath for failing to keep his job as promised very long ago, raising hopes of steadiness, and for making a scene at the clinic. 

The more mutters apologies, the more broken arrows stab through your heart, and he stops after you tell him that he was alright. You tell him that he is fine. The waitress brought the drinks you both ordered when you drag the glass closer beside, you realize that your husband ordered coffee. Seeing Jongdae order coffee was amusing because when you first dated Jongdae, he never liked drinking coffee. Just like he never enjoyed any bitter disputes between you both.

For the rest of the day, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jongdae and what will happen now, and if he was already searching for a new career again. He stayed home while you would work until he would come back and wait outside with your daughter standing beside him. You were exhausted from training newcomers and overthinking what solutions would work for Jongdae to get back on his feet. Naomi exuberates about her classmates and teacher-who she already considers her best friend-while you spare looks toward Jongdae smiling at your daughter. 

That same evening at home rather than instantly job searching on his laptop, the three of you slouch over your bed watching a holiday movie with some milk and cookies.

Your head was stuck over Jongdae’s shoulder while he snoozes, admiring his eyelashes, smooth skin, with the two moles on his temple and the way his lips parted. While looking at him, you squeeze your husband’s hand. “No matter what you do, I will always support you. The same way I have all these years.”

                      _____________________

                        Thank you for reading! ❤️

[namjoonchronicles]

heart wide open | sj

pairing: seokjin x you

genre: medical, angst like hella, mature themes

words: this baby is 9k+

warning: mentions of death, abortion, immorality, social status, medical malpractice, disrespect towards family constitution etc.. Written out of unhealthy rage and mind. seokjin is a doctor AND an heir. 

summary: Seokjin is a snotty, spoiled rich boy, greedy and insensitive boy; and you somehow got him kneeling...little did he know that he was in for a ride.

"His appearance is... how should I say," the hoarseness of your voice pierce through the phone, "...cloaked in a prim pretense of vast distaste in what he does, and I think we have a winner." You enveloped your lips around the bud of a cigarette and blow a cloud of nicotine in the air of your desk, flicking the ashes on the ashtray with a satisfied grin, drawn on your face.

And that was how it all began. The facade.

Curiosity was man's greatest downfall. His unassuming gaze, unchallenged ego will become the tools that will bring you, your most provocative provocation. The bubbling excitement in the pit of your heart begins to rattle in a momentous thrilling sensation that the room could feel. You will handle him the way you will always handle your unfortunate conquests. But this time, you will give him everything your past flings never had--your name. You were vastly certain that in every turn of events that unfolds had made him destined to meet you. It is almost unfortunately fortunate for him, that you will give him everything a man could desire, but also, gave him absolutely nothing, lesser than a beggar.

Seducing Dr. Kim Seokjin will be a fun endeavor.

A messy stack of papers thrown, sliding across, stopping at the edge of the table. Jungkook massages the bridge of his nose and you placed your hand on those papers, when Jungkook sighed heavily, "How will you attempt to capture this callous man?"

Maintaining the smile laced with relentless manipulation, you lean to the back of your chair and spun around to give Jungkook your back. With the view of the back of your head, Jungkook heard you calmly say, "...your job is done." The flips of papers turned, the sound of the ceiling fan spinning and the faint sound of classical music in the background was the only thing Jungkook heard in exchange of his questions. Proposing masked defiant, cheeked furrowed with strong purpose and emotions, chafed in the restraints imposed on him, Jungkook leaves the room, along with his buried roses of hope that eventually, he might be the one knowing all the things you were hiding, but he leaves without his answers, and doesn't intend to come back. Above all, you wanted it that way. Selfish, unrelenting detachments, your heart of glass and head of stones will never allow any part of you to be seen by the world. Holding onto jars of secrets that eats you alive, was the only life you knew how to live.

You will obtain Kim Seokjin one way or another. "Curiosity was man's greatest downfall." The only way to obtain a man's attention is, to be unlike the others he had.

Kim Seokjin.

He dashes through the odds of clamming, deceitful eyes of desire, becoming the walking epitome of the phrase: Irresistible magnetism. Clothed in a bewitching manner of a fictional character, Seokjin was unhealthily desired by all gaze that befalls upon him. His powerful strides and terrible good looks are what the nurses call, heavenly beaconing. Naturally, full-volumed lips pout when at rest, probably taste like rose petals to those wanting more than what was given. "Nurse Jung, I have that operation room ready at the said time, right? I shall tolerate no delays..." he slides his arm on the counter at the twinkling eyes of the young nurses in-charge of scheduling the operation theatre. "Yes," he heard and moves away. That's when the nurse left her desk and jogged after Seokjin's long legs, that sped away without any means to slow down, she breathlessly asked, "...and as usual, students wanted excess to your surge--"

"--I don't entertain children, I made that quite clear, in our many encounters, haven't I. I am never going to change my mind," He stated, bluntly and walked straight down the empty hallway of the hospital leading to the staffs' bathroom, leaving Nurse Jung behind. He darted into the first cubicle and set the toilet seat cover down and sat. Right at noon, he received a message from a distant relative about the death of a member of his family and the bank of a fund transfer from Yokhan Pharmaceutical Industries. He threw a fist in the air, exhilarated from the amount of money he is getting from the commission of using the medications from Yokhan Pharmaceutical, although the hospital he works in, already have stronger and potent drugs to use. He kept introducing the said medication and made his patients pay more than required for the prolonged unnecessary and elongated 'treatments'. This is, of course, goes unnoticed by many members of the medical center board since Seokjin continuously mention how he is bringing profit to the hospital through this wretched malpractice.

But his appeal in making profits didn't go unnoticed by most of the team from the pharmacy. And he despises having to beg for his medications, so he bribed one of the key members of the pharmacy who was eager to 'eat ass' if it means he could be friends with the most popular member of the medical society, Dr. Kim Seokjin. He noticed Taehyung's eagerness to solicit to the board members and uses the young men's impaired friendship skills to gain benefits. With Taehyung's unquestionable loyalty and waning life principles', he was able to gain medications despite the director of Pharmacy not being very fond of him. Healthcare was business for Seokjin and it will never change. His unremorseful attitude even though there was a death in the family, goes hidden in his prim pretense in his occupation. He is a tactless and callous man of the healthcare with a medical degree. Unfitting, isn't it? A dry detached man working in the most emotionally and physically taxing field that requires humanly judgments in the everyday encounter. And Seokjin's emotional incapability is sheathed with his vast medical knowledge he forced himself to memorize with.

Blatantly ignoring the message from the family, he leaves the hospital's staff bathroom, only to be captured by a slender figure in her doctor's coat, placing her pristine hand atop of Seokjin's chest, silencing him with a deep, not-just-friends kiss on his lips. Seokjin was pushed against the wall of the empty pantry, next to the vending machine by the bathroom door, obscenely touched by this female doctor, with his eyes wide open, catching the CCTV at the back of her head. "...what the fuck, stop," his words were muffled and he had to pull away by force. "Please, it's been weeks...we have not seen each other in weeks," she pleads, tugging his coat, scratching her manicured nails against Seokjin's dress shirt, breathlessly pleading with everything she has and Seokjin remains unbothered. Seokjin took her in his able arm, rests her head on his broad shoulder and whispered, "You come to me one more time," Seokjin pauses, "...I'm going to make you disappear. I'm gonna have you fired for malpractice. Don't forget, there's only one copy of our sex tape." He yanks the female's hair back and her grasp on him loosens as he brushed his shoulder against hers and continued walking. Unremorseful.

He ran his fingers through his brown locks and glared at the CCTV. "Fucking bitch." He muttered. "Making me lose my money." Because he knows he needs to pay the security team leader a handsome amount of money to delete that footage that could have ended his career as the nation's leading cardiologist working in Emergency Unit. Slapping a stack of money on the security director's desk, Seokjin kept a cold unforgiving gaze. The middle-aged man took it with a wide grin, groaning pleasantly, "Oh dear doctor, you didn't have to. But since you insist, how can I say no." Seokjin leaves the room immediately, without prolonging the conversation because he dislikes talking to people not on the same level as he is. He is a doctor, he does not talk to people from the low class. In his shallow mind, he believes social classes are important to maintain orders in the world. A belief that his fellow colleague doesn't necessarily agree on despite being on the same social status as Seokjin is and his name is, "Dr. Namjoon... fancy to see you here. Working overtime?" He greeted the tall lad with glasses, from a distance away.

Namjoon darts his eyes to the side pressing his dimple to show ultimate distaste before turning to face Seokjin again, with a fabricated smile. "...No, senior. Working on time. Like the rest of us," Namjoon passes a knowing look to a fellow Emergency Unit medical officer, Dr. Min Yoongi as the latter hastes away after prompted by a nurse. There must be another emergency. Yoongi hasn't had his lunch and Namjoon was going to get it with him, but their plans are shattered because Yoongi needs to work and it was all due to someone not being exactly responsible. "Cheer up, it's not a straining field if you learn how to have a little fun... you're so stiff and uptight. I like you better when you're drunk," Seokjin delivers a brotherly slap on Namjoon's upper arm with a sweet smile. He blinks to Namjoon's ring finger and notices something, "Don't tell me," he pauses and shifts his weight to one foot, "...don't tell me she called off the wedding." Namjoon darted his gaze to the end of the hallway and then to his leather shoes, jutting his chin out and clenching his jaw before answering, "...she did."

Seokjin bursts in tumultuous laughter. Namjoon did not join him. "Wow..." Seokjin cackled, wiping the tears in the corners of his eyes, "I didn't expect that she would..." He roars in laughter again, "...she was really no fun! I think I did you a favor, Namjoon. Think about it." Namjoon glares at the floor instead of Seokjin, remaining absolutely calm for the storm raging in his heart. He lost the love of his life because of what Seokjin did. "What favor," he brazenly asked, and Namjoon never once talked back to Seokjin, taking Seokjin by surprise, "...I lost my future wife." Seokjin leans to the side to catch Namjoon's solemn expression, smile still wide on his own face as if he had done absolutely nothing wrong. "...Dude. If you married her, you would never have a threesome. She's conservative as fuck, traditional. It's the millennials baby, no one does monogamy anymore...grow the fuck up," Seokjin straightens up and fisted his knuckle to knock against Namjoon's temple.

"...you're not as smart as I thought you are, Namjoon. And that's sad because I see potentials in you. You being drunk are handsy, and very receptive. You think it's my fault that she left, you were the one who walked into that hotel room. I simply gave you the key, but it was your choice to enter," Seokjin peered at Namjoon, challenging. "Know your fucking place in this hospital, Namjoon. One word from me, and you're gone. How unfortunate will that be, knowing you just got here with my father's consent. Be smarter than that," Seokjin gave a kissy sound on his lips and brushed his shoulder against Namjoon unwavering stance. Fist held tight to his side, Namjoon attempted to unravel the twisted knot in his neck by making a half-circle with his head. Seokjin thinks he is above everyone. His father is a powerful politician with incredible power to make anyone disappear. He was dubbed as 'The Midas Fingers' for his ability to bring wealth to anyone he mentions and chose as friends. But his views are heavily influenced by his youngest son, Kim Seokjin.

The youngest of two boys, the cardiologist of the nation, is late for his grandfathers' funeral. "Call him." His father commanded and that's when he walked in black ties and suit. Boldly, he strode through the invitees consisting of socialites and wealthy families from all around South Korea. "Sorry I was late," he exclaimed to his father,"...I wasn't planning to come." His father who heard what he said, clears his throat as Seokjin came to stand next to him. "...What's the point, the old man doesn't even like me? I bet have less than 25% of his wealth he accumulated from you," Seokjin whispered as the priest begins to talk about the good of the deceased. Seokjin was passed a folded paper containing the eulogy of the deceased that he reluctantly accepts. He taps the mic twice to make sure it was working and scanned the room of people waiting for benefits of attending this ceremony.

He begins with a clear of the throat and a sip of water, preparing to 'cloth' himself with pretentious remorse, maybe shed a little tear. The ceremony will be broadcasted around South Korea and telecasted as he is the important 1% of the society. And everyone wants to know about the most desired bachelor in the country three years running. "He..." Seokjin's voice croaked from the sweet candy he had in the car a few minutes before he arrived, and the audience whirred mourningly--thinking that it must be hard for him to lose an important family member--when all Seokjin was concerned about was to end the ceremony as quickly as he can to catch a birthday party starting at 10 pm at local nightclub. "Let me try one more time," he sniffed, "...I am Kim Seokjin, grandson of the deceased and I'm a doctor." The audience stayed very still, although grey thoughts were surrounding the large memorial hall. "I got the message at noon but I was in the surgery saving lives. The irony," he added a dry chuckle to propose sadness essence to the tone, "Saving strangers when your own family passes without you knowing... it took awhile for me to process the information and the drive here was longer than I intended, more difficult than I could ever imagine."

He inhales, and turns away from the mic, before clearing his throat, "Sorry," he needlessly apologized, "...Grandpa, you are the person who helped me with my first step, teaching me all the greatest thing about the country I lived in, the hard-earned democracy that countless lives were sacrificed by the means of freedom of thoughts and speech.

My grandpa’s generosity, work ethic, humility, and selflessness are all qualities that I admire him for, and qualities I myself aspire to. In conclusion, Grandpa will be missed dearly. I hope to someday become half the man he was. People like my Grandpa are one in a million, billions, perhaps. His electric presence reels in every curious eye and led his world in the most graceful manner, a human could possibly.

Albert Einstein once said, “Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.”

So let us celebrate Grandpa’s life and continue his legacy. Thank you, Grandpa. I love you, and will miss you." The audience hung their heads low and was in silence for about a minute before Seokjin leaves the stage and dashed straight to the exit then into the bathroom. He splashes water to his face to clean the tears he 'shed' and flushes the eye lubricant bottle into the toilet, watching it being swallowed, never to be seen again. Then he walks outside the hall, clicking his sports' car engine to hurl, while the halls were saying grace. He knows that his father's close acquaintances will cover for him, explaining his disappearance as a 'need of privacy' when he is making his way to the nightclub, a few minutes after his grandfather's eulogy was delivered. Entering the nightclub with a black face mask on, he sheds his blazers for a black silk dress shirt and a chrome heart necklace. Upon entering he was greeted by the bouncers who don't even know who he is but know that he is not to be questioned, understanding his exclusivity with a simple passing of cold gazes.

And that's when he found you. You briskly stride pass him with a vixen like manners, lingering gaze and an evil curve of your lips, the childlike contour of your body rendered him to decide that you were not his type at all. And yet, his eyes couldn't leave you. You halted his steps but he did nothing more but a glance. If you keep this up, he will never succumb. He is used to someone dressing up this way, so you need something different, something extraordinarily ordinary to capture his attention. Something, very...plain. But before you completely disappear from his sight, you heard a girls' voice calling his name upon walking into a private entertainment room. "I need to talk to you," this girl breathed, desperately. From the corners of your eyes, she could pass for a model with those long legs and gorgeous hair. You imagined her tugging on Seokjin's sleeve and you intend to listen to more so you hid behind the wall and eavesdropped. "Not here," Seokjin, pulled down his mask, and grabbed the girls' thin wrist, dragging her outside to the balcony, the first floor of the booming club. Where no one was, or so he thought.

You followed discreetly, taking off your heels and hid underneath an unused bar. "What is it," Seokjin's voice was stern and the girl begins to sniff. "I'm pregnant..." she looked intently to Seokjin and you clasped your mouth to keep yourself silent. Seokjin rolled his head back, hissing, "You said you were on pills! I warned you I wasn't going to pull out." She sniffs again, spilling the words of 'please'. "...For all I know it might not even be mine, everyone knows you fuck around with anybody," Seokjin swatted her hands away, heartlessly. "How could you. I leave everyone for you. I gave you everything..." She broke in a stupendous roar, upon the shuddering air. Seokjin did not waiver one bit. He was mindful of what is not his mistake. It was hers. She was supposed to be on pills. "Abort it..." she raspily says in a whisper, "...you abort it for me. You know best." Seokjin turns to her with an unreadable expression and he said, "...I will not do such a thing and sacrifice what I've worked so hard for."

The girl dropped to her knees, "I will tell the world what you did to me." And he quipped, "And I'll tell the world that you lied. Because honey, I'm the most eligible bachelor in town right now, the most kind and promotes abstinence, no one will believe a thing you say. Shall I remind you all the wretched things you do, just to get some penny in your panties, you slut?"

And he says it in a way that doesn't fit his angelic demure. She collapsed into a dreary and hysterical depression as Seokjin leaves the scene to resume his purpose being there, enjoying a birthday party, in the most subtle way he can. Because he is still feigning sadness for his grandfathers' death in the eyes of the public. Even in front of his so-called friends. "Sorry, for what happened to your grandfather..." they all say, "Let's cheer up!" Piercing the air with their bottles of hard liquors, getting increasingly drunk as minutes passed but Seokjin remained unbothered by every hit of alcohol he plunged into his stomach, lips stern with profound sturdiness, he hits the stagnant part of his life, delve into the loneliness despite being surrounded by people.

He mocks the study of psychology; disbelieving that mental illness is an illness at all, and here he is feeling exactly as the textbook says.

When the girl who claimed she was pregnant begin to gather herself, so did you. She left and you climbed out of your hiding place and smiled. "He is the one." 

Spiraling down the path wickedness, you brought your feet to the family's residents feeling rather bold as you await Seokjin to come to your side. He shut the car door and scanned momentarily to this nice neighborhood. His face was curious, like everything else about you, he was inclined to know more and more. "Dr. Kim Seokjin...please come in." Your mother greeted at the door. You knew your mother was incredibly smitten by what she saw. The future son in law was everything she ever wanted in life, what she dreamt of. Now she has something to be proud of. Her daughter is marrying the most eligible bachelor in town, Dr. Kim Seokjin. She always emphasizes the title 'Doctor' to her friends and close relatives, and she can't believe she is finally seeing the most wanted doctor in the city. Her excitement sprites through her veins and spilling through her words and the air around her. Your father wasn't as expressive as your mother was, but he was smiling too. He greeted Seokjin with a firm, manly handshake and invited you both in.

"What took you so long to come over?" Your mother spoke, gleefully at Seokjin, touching him once in awhile, sitting next to him on the dining table. "...Ask her, I was eager to meet you guys but she was persistently saying no to every advances I make," Seokjin didn't feel out of place, he fitted right in. A family constitution he never experienced. "...She can be too careful sometimes," your mother bashfully say, and you returned her a stricken thin smile, "But with a doctor, you shouldn't be overly careful, my daughter." Your mother proceeds to invite him for a sleepover, there's a guest empty room that's always ready for anyone who came. At first, he said no, and with a tiny nod from you, he finally surrenders to your mother. Your father still gave him tight-lipped conversations. While Seokjin is swooning your mother by hardly doing anything but a small sharing of his medical knowledge, your father looks at you worriedly. Noticing this, your father excuses himself and you to talk outside, by the swing in the garden.

"Join me on the swing?" He said, and carefully led the way. The night was scattered with stars and the moon shined ever so brightly, appearing to be closer than they technically are and you smiled, pleasantly at the sight. It really has been awhile.

Sitting right next to your father, he sighed. "The air is refreshing..." he began. You nodded and gathered your hand to your lap. "You're about to be married. It seems like just yesterday you're asking me for an ice cream on a tricycle I got you for your fifth birthday...I can't believe how times have passed. When I look at my wrinkling hands and my greying hair, I realize that I've spent more times with my work than I do with you and your mom..." He reminisces and sat there, and listened. "...I can't say I'm not excited, but I wasn't exactly around to say I've helped her raised what you've become," he added. You felt your heart sunk when he said so because it wasn't true. You understood why he had to be away. He had to be away to put food on the table. "I'm sorry to break your heart like this, dad..." you thought as you watched his side profile. You didn't remember him being this old. How times have passed.

He looks up with his tired eyes at the same night sky, and he sighed before asking you gently, "It's love isn't it?" You stared blankly at him with your glassy eyes because in your heart you know it wasn't. You weren't in love with Seokjin.

You were using him.

Two in the morning and he texted, "Can I come see you?" You saw the shadows of his feet underneath the gap of your door and you weren't even sleeping because you were typing on an article you were supposed to email in three days. "It isn't locked," you replied and the knob twisted. He brought his pillow with him and proceed to timidly walk into your room. His face was pouty and innocent, as he sat on the well-made bed, testing the waters. The boldness and unforgiving look he used to bore,  had long disappeared. "...Why are you not asleep yet?" He asked, gently, like a child. "I'll sleep when I want to, just because you're allowed in my room, doesn't mean you're entitled to tell me how to live my life..." you shot, bluntly. He visibly gulped from the reflections of him you caught from your dressing table mirror. "The fact that you're sitting on my bed without my permission is distressful enough for me. Don't make me kick you out and leave you hanging," you exhaled through your nose and saw him lifting himself from your bed and down to sit on the floor, next to it.

"...What do you want." You stopped typing momentarily and Seokjin straightens up. "I was... hoping if I could stay the night here."

"You are." "No, I mean. In your room."

You didn't give him a definite answer but continued working without saying another word and that's when he figured that he pitches into his curiosity, "Did I say something wrong at dinner?"

You tipped your eyes upward and spun the chair towards his direction and Seokjin succumbed under duress, casting his eyes towards the floor. "Why on earth would you say that, sweetie?" Your sudden change of tone relaxes him but also leaves him guarded. The confusion excites him. "I don't know, you just seemed very different after we leave dinner," upon hearing this from him, you gradually leave your desk and make your way towards him. He lifts his head up to look at you, and those orbs begin to cast their spell on you so before it could empower you, you tenderly thumbed his cheek and leaned down for a kiss on his nose, not on the lips as he anticipated. "Wouldn't my parents be surprised to find the guest room empty the next morning? You naughty boy, you are very daring," you beacon him to crawl into bed with you and he lays his head on your stomach while you play with his hair.

"...say I have surgery." He proposed a white lie, with such innocent face. You continued to chuckle warmly. "You do love me right?" He hesitantly asked. You stared blankly at the wall before you, while playing with his black locks, burying his face on the side of your waist, "...of course." You answered dryly. Only you know the real answer.

The marriage happened, and bit by bit, you changed your personality. The bubbly, irresistible string of laughter is gone, you became silent from each approach he makes, making him wonder why has the relationship gone stagnant. "Why did you never tell me about your parents until now?" He asked, meekly. "What do you mean by that?" You mindlessly scroll down to your phone, reading today's news that you missed because of this meeting. "It's been three months since we got married. Your mother thinks we're still engaged to be married, don't you talk to your parents at all?" He boldly asked. You tipped your gaze to shoot against the blank TV screen you have in your childhood room. Quite spacious since you were an only child. Chewing the insides of your cheeks, you try to hide the fact that you were unpleased. He was really pushing his boundaries despite your warning glances thrown at him, through out the evening. "...Just go with it. You and I, we both know that our parents doesn't really pay attentions to what we do say. If she calls you a future son-in-law, you go along with the statement. We'll have a second wedding, if we need to."

"Can't we just tell them the truth?" Seokjin pleading eyes, rendered you silent. So you did, you told them the truth.

Your mother set the plates on the table and Seokjin climbed down the stairs, hair still dripping wet from the shower. He hid behind the wall and listened. "...That's fantastic news but it would have been easier if you've just told us. Now how do we explain to the relatives that you've already been married?" Your mother sounded delighted but wasn't very elated, that was until she saw Seokjin walking in. "Are you pregnant?" She asked.

"N-" "Yes."

Seokjin shot his confused glance at you. "How many months?" Mother replied, although she looks terribly overjoyed by it. "11 weeks." You darted. Your mother clapped her hands, hopping in place with a big smile. She fetches the house phone and began dialing, "I have to tell everyone!" She leaves the kitchen. And Seokjin caught you clasping your hands together. "Honey?" He called for you. "Be quiet..." you muttered. "What are you doing?" He asked.

You lowered your head. Slowly, you turned away from him, lifting yourself from the tall stool and walked away, but Seokjin caught your wrist and held on firmly, and "...We don't even sleep together. We never even had s--"

"Stop it. Shut up." "Why are you lying? I want to know why you're lying." "Divorce me if you want. I dare you."

This was not the first time you used the word 'Divorce' to end a fight. It happened numerous times before.

Again and again, Seokjin let it slide. He knew for certain, that his life was going to take a different path now.

Pathetically, he told himself that even if the child isn't his, he was going to take care of it. Karma. That's what he thought. The women he is very much in love with is doing this to him for what happened in the past. He realises it. If this was a punishment from the heaven, then, he will gladly embrace it. On a dinner night with his colleague, you were speaking to the other wives of the surgeons there, and they handed you an alcohol. Seokjin saw you taking a glass of it and excused himself from the current conversation he was having, to take away that glass from you. "There's alcohol in that cocktail," he sounded clipped and as another waiter passes you, you extended your arm to another glass and took a daring sip while holding your gaze on Seokjin's worried pair of eyes.

"Wow, what a loving husband. I never thought you were like this," Dr. Min Yoongi's wife smiled, and patted your hand. "...Lucky you. Seokjin almost never attend dinners like these until you came around."

"Did he now? You'll be seeing my face more often from now onwards, Mrs. Min," you gracefully told her and Seokjin hasn't left your side. When they called the couples for a dance, you took Seokjin's hand and dragged him to the dance floor. In strangers eyes, you both had the most perfect marriage ever, only exist in fairytales. But Seokjin underwent emotional duress almost everyday that he would care less to dwell about, knowing how chafing it is to take back what he so boldly declared: Mental illness is an illusion. You were seen smiling at him, talking in sweet whispers but what the conversation was really about is threatening, full-blown threats. "...Why did you take alcohol when you're pregnant?" He softly asked, feeling your temple resting against his chin, while he rocks your body in a smooth intoxicating sway. "Why do you care." You shot. "Look, I don't mind if it isn't mine. I'll take care of it, just like my own... We all make mistakes... We can start over, I'm not perfect either, I do wretched things in the past," he pulled away and spoke to you.

"You must be delusional to be thinking that I'm going to give you a chance. Why would you raise something that isn't yours?" You quipped. And he said the darndest thing, that kept you awake, weeks after he said it, "Because I love you. I really love you. I'm stupidly, hopelessly, deeply... in love with you."

Realising that Seokjin will not back away from the marriage, you sought after Jungkook. "What do you propose I do?" He asked, pushing his hair back, groaning in his leather seat of his tiny and run-down office. The 'Private Investigator' sticker is peeling off at the edges, he slaps your envelope of money on the desk, next to his abundant files, of cheating husbands and extra-marital cases. "...Miscarriage. Make me a miscarriage portfolio," You released your lips from your teeth and stood up from the chair. "You're going too far with this," Jungkook exhales sharp, through his nose, he watches you leave his office, and exclaimed, "Faking a miscarriage costs you double!" You waved your hand and left without turning behind you, not even once. You already had an idea, and Jungkook just had to proceed with the portfolio. But how do you fake a miscarriage, when you're not even pregnant?

With a little digging, you found out that Dr. Min Yoongi wasn't exactly fond of Kim Seokjin. But due to the good friendship you sustained with his wife, you had convinced Yoongi to bring Seokjin for an alcohol night with the pretense of wanting to surprise him once he got home. You told Yoongi to get him as drunk as he can, just enough to lose bodily coordination. With a little help from Jungkook, he managed to insert a psychedelic drug into Seokjin's last drink and became his designated driver for the night, inserting another dose to his 'energy' drink. When he got home, thoroughly disoriented, you pretended to carry him inside.

But even then, Seokjin was able to make up your face.

"Oh, hi... you're very pretty. Do you have a boyfriend?" He slurred as Jungkook passed his limp body to you. "Are you sure you got him drugged?" You whispered, hissing. "Slightly above the recommended dose, but boy, can he drink. I'll send the portfolios to you tomorrow," You heard Jungkook say.

"I'm your wife." You darted at Seokjin and he drunkenly smile, in reply. Jungkook shut the door and left with his car. "Shit, I have a hot wife," he wriggled his head at you, trying to stabillize himself, "The world is going in circle, sweetie... I can hear colours." You took him up the stairs and once you got to the first level, you let go off him and threw yourself off, rolling down. You purposely didn't wear any panties during your period, so you had blood trails, dripping down your thighs to mimic a miscarriage. The force made you expel more blood even though you were unhurt. Your focus was that the CCTV caught you falling, right after Seokjin was out of the frame so it seemed that Seokjin had pushed you. Laying in the pool of your own blood, you called your trusted friend, Mrs. Min Yoongi. When she got there, she was horrified and took you to your clinic, which had already been bribed by Jungkook to hand over a miscarriage portfolio. "You have another miscarriage. You have to report to the police," the fake doctor said, and Mrs. Min heard every word.

"Are you telling me, that this is not the first time?" Mrs. Min was horrified, and tried calling her husband but you stopped her. "Please, no. Seokjin will hurt me more, if he knew," You lied. Everything was going according to plan.

Seokjin woke up with a buzz in his head, laying face down on the floor. His blood shot eyes and busted lips, the ache in his body he didn't remember having, starts to piece themselves as the drug began to wane off. He carried himself down the stairs, visions still quite blurred until he steps over something very sticky. He knelt down, holding on to the rails and saw, blood. Trails of blood, a pool of them on the base of the stairs and called out for you. "Honey! Honey, there's blood on the floor, where are you?!" He yanks open the front door to see policemen gathering in front of his bungalow.

"You are under arrest for inflicting physical harrassment towards your wife and her unborn child.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you by the court.

With these rights in mind, are you still willing to talk with me about the charges against you?"

The most sought-after bachelor, the city's most talented cardiologist, spend a night in jail. Jungkook snapped his head to you, "Now what?" You gave him a sweet smile, "Now, I play angel."

Placed under steel seat, of the interrogation room, Seokjin was drilled to answer questions the cops darted on him.

"Were you drunk when you returned home last night?" "I suppose." "Did you intentionally hit your wife when you're drunk?" "I'd...I would never! I would never hurt her."

The detective threw him captures from the CCTV footage that showed a sequence of you carrying him up the stairs and then you came tumbling down helplessly, with him out of the frame. He lifts his cuffed wrist to pull the photos nearer to him, so he could see clearer. He looks up, pleading. "...I'm. I didn't push her. She's my wife," Seokjin shook his head, his hair was messy and he looked like he was about to lose his mind. "...I didn't do it, I'm innocent." He repeatedly say, and a knock interupted the interogation. A uniformed man came to give the detective an envelope. "...He has a lawyer now, and the result from the lab is back. It's positive," the uniformed man left after saying those words and Seokjin snapped his head up, repeatedly asking, "What's positive? Tell me what's positive?"

The detective took one glance and slap the stack of papers to Seokjin's angelic face. "Your urine was tested positive for happy pills Nimetazepam, doctor," the detective mocked him. "I've been framed, I've never taken drugs, someone must have placed them in my drinks," Seokjin begged for it to be investigated and then your father walked in. His father-in-law. "My daughter dropped all charges against him," he clears his throat and glided his eyes towards his son-in-law who is now on the floor, tugging at the detectives trousers. He walked out from the interrogation to see you, they uncuffed him and you didn't blink once. You were taking in every view of it, how disporpotionate he looked, his messed up hair, his bruised face, and his ruined future. "If he continues to hurt you, divorce him." Your father adviced, linking his hand behind him, and walked away when Seokjin approached. Your mother rushed through the entrance and gave him a slap across his face.

You dropped your head to stop yourself from smiling. "Bastard." Your mother cursed at him. Then you put on a sad expression and reached him, to caress his face and pulled him into an embrace. He weakly buried his face into the crook of your nape. You reasted your head on his sturdy chest and sighed, "Let's go home." Using your father's power and his, the criminal record was erased. He regained his job and you lived your life normally as a married couple. As he gathered his reputation again, you ensured he come home to a good meal.

Be a good wife, finally. This time, you'll tell him everything, and you'll ask him to file for a divorce.

He was silent most of the time. During the dinner, you carefully told him everything, A to Z.

"Why did you do that? Why did you ruin my life?" He softly asked, a voice coming from a broken man. "I wanted to show my parents that doctors aren't angels," you stabbed your brocolli and shove them inside your mouth, unremorseful, "...They always think so highly of doctors that they forgot, doctors can make mistakes too. They usually mock me because I dreaded away from becoming a doctor eventhough I could. Tell me how my friends are lucky to be one, reminding me what trash I've become for being less than what they wanted me. A stupid writer, they call me."

Vividly, you remembered every salty glances they threw at you. How you were a disgrace to the family. Throwing away your chances to be a medical officer, by performing poorly in your foundation studies. You remembered the days where you ran away from home, wanting to be in a writing school because you aspired to be a writer, hiding in petrol stations bathroom, living as a nomad for what you wanted to become. And they caught you again, threw you in pharmacy school and this time you aced it. You thought they would be happy, but the man you were in love with, were engaged to a doctor, a paeditrician. They threw his wedding invitation in your face. "This wouldn't happen if you were a doctor. Why would he marry anyone less than that?" Your mother spat in your face. You ran away again, you leave town. You bought a second-hand car with the money your father secretly gave you, from a young man you knew working as a private investigator--Jungkook.

It was the beginning of a relationship fairly understood by the world. You were a writer and he did the digging. He had to keep his hands dirty, so yours could stay clean. Before long, you were writing more and more about controversial matters under a penname. That's how you got your money. The car, the apartment. You decided that it's time to show your mother, how successful you are, despite her opposition. So you ordered Jungkook to find you a "...callous doctor." The search was not easy, but Jungkook delivers. He always do. Jungkook massages the bridge of his nose and you placed your hand on those papers, when Jungkook sighed heavily, "How will you attempt to capture this callous man?"

A tear escaped the corner of your eyes as you stare blankly towards the wall, "To obtain someone you never had, you have to do something you've never done." Seokjin stared at his untouched food as he listened. "The accident, was it intentional?" He asked.

You let a dry chuckle escaped. "My greatest masterpiece."

Seokjin just left his bungalow, with two large containers of his homemade kimbap and on his way on the usualy route to the hospital when he revises the schedule of the day through his phone planner. "There's a high community gathering today, I wonder how long it's going to take," he murmured. He glances to the back to see his diligently made rice rolls and smiled proudly at the thought of people who would be enjoying his homemade food. The potluck is going to be different today since he is participating. After the death of the family, and a foreign feeling settling in his heart, he wanted to participate, to do something he had never done before. To be kind.

That's when his car jerked ahead, making his forehead slammed against the steering wheel. He groaned, his face turning red. Blood ran down his brows, and he hissed in pain. His phone fell to the floor of the car and he yanked the car door open. People began to honk and at the same time, a speeding motorcycle passed through his car door, showing him the middle finger for stopping at the green light. You walked out in red deep v-neck line knee-length dress, and beige strap on heels, looking very prim and gingerly graceful. "Oh my goodness! I'm so very sorry, my car's timer just jerked ahead, I..." you frantically began to explain and gasped when you see the trail of blood down his chin, "You're bleeding!" You hurried back to your car and grabbed a box of tissue, successfully tearing your body-hugging dress in the process at the thigh, and handed them to him. Seokjin furrowed brows are now a bit relaxed, "..That's fine. I'm a doctor." He said.

"Oh Lord, I have to call the hospital that I'm going to be late but my phone died," you squeezed the heel of your palm and almost sobbing. "Use mine, are you... are you going to the high-community gathering in the hospital nearby? The pot-luck?" He asked as he fetched his phone from the floor of the car and you said yes, immediately. "What a coincidence, I'm working there and is heading to the gathering as well, we should car pool." He kindly suggested. "What about the car?" You asked. "Do you have insurance?" He shot back, scrolling down his phone and dialling his insurance company. "...I'm not sure, I bought it from a friend," you felt your heart sank because of how little you knew about it, eventhough your father is a lawyer. "...That's alright, we both can use mine, they'll get it towed and off the streets, people are starting to get antsy," he bowed to each car passing by and some of the people are snapping picture of him, he must be really famous.

They didn't curse at him, but at you. Telling you to drive better, and that you're blind.

And Seokjin took you to the safe side of the road, collecting his kimbap containers but having trouble to carry both while maintaining a phonecall with the insurance company, "...yes, next to the hospital, just the junction before. There's two car. A Mercedez and an old Ford. Certainly, we'll be here. But we have an appointment to get to, so please hurry," you extended your arm to help him carry one container as he conversed with the staff. You both took a taxi and safely got into the gathering without a scratch. Seokjin had stitches but it wasn't very serious and you went straight to the gathering.

When he got back from the emergency room, he saw his kimbap was barely eaten. The rest of the food that came in the potluck was almost empty. He felt his efforts were going to waste. He took one whole plate of kimbap and took them to the park, to eat alone, away from the crowd. "What's the use of being kind..." he told himself.

"There you are!" He heard a chirpy voice and snapped his head to the direction. "...Where were you when everyone is slicing the cake," you walked towards him and handed him a slice of cake on a plastic plate on top of his two, now-empty containers.

"I saved you one, noticing that you weren't around," you smiled widely at him. "Where's the kimbaps?" He asked, glancing at the empty containers you were holding. "They finished it. They love it very much. They didn't think you could make it, so I said I did, we made it together," you explained, and, "I hope you're single, because they looked confused." Seokjin chewed very slowly, blinking to the floor next to your feet. "I feel very sorry to trouble you today, and I hope I was able to make it up to you and buy you coffee... maybe?" You hesitantly asked, "And also we can talk about the insurance and what I needed to pay, without involving the police? Perhaps, if you'd like..."

In Seokjin's mind, memories of you being cursed at by the roadside and how sorry you looked began to soften his heart. When he saw you carried the containers to aid him, when you brought him a slice of cake, he didn't have the heart to say no. The thought him smile, when he heard himself say, "You think I have the heart to say no?"

The coffee meeting became a date. And he likes it very much. He saw how you spoke to the waitress, so kindly, thanking her. How you both fought to pay the bills. You were so graceful and he was smitten. When the car was fixed, he felt like he was going to lose this acquintance, so he asked you, "...can we be more than this?" The moment you said yes, he felt his heart leaped. And by the moonlight underneath a blossoming sakura tree, you both shared a kiss. And it was the first time, Seokjin felt a kiss that was not rushed and not filled by lust, but by pure love. That's what he thought at the time. He got addicted before long. Your embrace, your words, your kisses, they were something else. Sometimes you were plain and he was surprised how it made him elated to see you in your unglamorous moments. It's like you allowed him and only him to see that you could just be you, comfortable. He is seeing both sides of you: the pristine one and the lazy one. He was amazed by the fact that he didn't mind it at all.

Seokjin was in love. Heavens, he was in love.

Is still... in love. 

You took your plate and slide the divorce paper on the table within his reach before leaving the dining table. You strode this spacious bungalow, walked up the same stairs you threw yourself off, and felt free. With the view of the back of his head, you glanced away, feeling a burden uplifted your shoulders although your heartbreaking, pieces of it, scattered on the floor. With every firm step you took further away from Seokjin, you tattled, fooled yourself that you never once had loved him. You didn't know when it happened, but it did.

When did this fake love, became real?

You entered the bedroom, you never shared with him all the while you were married to him and realizes just how much he suffered from your greed, just to prove how wrong your parents were. He was unfortunately in your tunnel vision of revenge.

Because of your selfishness, his life was ruined. Who are you to judge his wrongdoings? Who are you to decide that he was going to pay for his sins?

Yes, he was not a perfect human being. Yes, he did terrible things. Yes, he was a wretched creature with no conscience.

You hated the fact that you did all kinds of things to have the consequences in your favor.

But secretly you thanked Seokjin for being the reason behind Namjoon's called-off wedding. 

After the heartbreak you suffered from Namjoon's empty promises, you admit that you went overboard. When you loved someone so much, trusted so much, invested so much, and in return, you received nothing, left behind--it breaks you. It breaks your soul. It burns them to ashes. It made you numb, merciless, a heart of stone.

You had the hotel room card delivered to Namjoon through Seokjin, passed by a waitress. You ensured Namjoon's was caught in the most promiscuous circumstances. You already knew where to touch to have him spinning in pure ecstasy, and the rest was history.

The way he was so responsive to your familiar touches, draws you to do more than what was intended. Your tear-stained face cracked and you smiled grimly against Namjoon's motionless body, lying asleep, face down on the bed. Scratches down his back, hickeys, his trousers around his ankle. Belts on the floor, along with his dress shirt. You twisted his engagement ring and stared at the little circle underneath the night lamp, sitting on the bench the hotel had by the large window.

Playfully, you slide the ring to your ring finger. It was bigger than your slender fingers but it gave you slight happiness. Although short lifted. "You shouldn't hurt me, Namjoon. You said you will love me no matter what, but when I lowered my standards, you left me," you tutted your tongue, and took another sip of hard liquor that does nothing to your sanity.

You had become numb, staring at his messy bed hair, knocked out by the drinks he was forced to take. "...You fucking left me and go to that pediatrician because she fits your standard. Now you'll feel how I feel. And to make matters worse, I'm going to marry your arch enemy, your senior."

You tipped the final drop of alcohol and took Namjoon's phone to send a location to his current fiancee. Before you left, you leave behind a ruined thong that you drenched in water, inside his pocket and a kiss mark on his dimple, along with his engagement ring.

Namjoon's wedding was canceled and you feed on the euphoric sensation you put on yourself. It gave you a high you can never find from anything else.

To know that you've ruined someone's life beyond repair. It excites you.

You thought you’d be happy. Avenging your rights. Hurting someone who hurts you but. You can't feel anything. Nothing at all. But what’s done is done, so you smiled. I don’t have to be happy to smile. I can pretend as much as I can love. This is the right thing to do. 

And that's how you convinced yourself. But why does it feel so wrong?

Why are you crying when you’re smiling? Why are you hitting your heart with your own fist? For it to beat again? For you to remember how to love again?

Why are you sad?

The moment you set your bottom to the bed, Seokjin pushed the door open. "Give me one month," he breathlessly says, his eyes fell on your exposed knees and then to your eyes, "Sleep with me. And if I can change your mind, we'll put the divorce behind us and start again..."

You gaze up at him, "What are you saying, are you telling me that you want to be with me? But wh--" Seokjin silenced you with a searing kiss, pushed your whole body down with his own, and took you. Took your everything, the way he had been imagining. He wanted this for so long, the abstinence has made him direly impatient but he took careful and calculated steps with every advances.

"This time, I want all of it. All of you," he thumbed your cheek, his warm breathe fanning against your skin, as he spoke to your lips, "Don't hold it against me."

"Are you going to fuck me?"

"No..." he raspily replied, "...I'm going to make love to you."

Because he believed that you were in love too. He caught a glint in your eyes that suggests that he might have taken over the throne of who used to be there. Although it was brief, he was sure of what he saw. You insisted that you didn't care about him, but there's honesty in your pretense. Truth in your fabricated affections.

You were kind, but a bloke had broke you, beyond fixation.

There was good in Seokjin that you saw, and made clear.

When he breaks down, losing his first patient after many years of successful surgery, when he lost a child brought into the emergency unit, he didn't hesitate to come over to your apartment, seeking comfort. At first, he didn't know how to ask for it, but gradually, you began to understand things he didn't even say out loud. That's what made him ask.

Asked you to marry him.

In the dim lighting of your apartment, with only the moonlight to witness, he asked you in a small whisper, laying fully clothed on your bed, just breathing, he asked, "...will you be my wife?"

His politician father was wary at first, but eventually, Seokjin convinced him that you were incredible. You wanted a small wedding, just the two of you and he complied. Exchanging vows under the visions of heaven, you two were legally married.

He boasted you with his co-workers and his colleague began to notice changes. He was not as repulsive as he was before. He was becoming kind. He was a changed man.

Namjoon walked into his office one day as you were leaving, you exchanged unassuming glances to your ex-lover and Seokjin introduced you both, "Meet Mrs. Kim." You extended your hand to capture Namjoon's and he hesitantly shook your hand. "Nice to meet you," you thinned your eyes at his nametag and smiled brightly, "...Dr. Kim Namjoon."

Namjoon heard his name called very differently in the back of his mind. Breathlessly, raspily, and the way your moan usually sounded so sinful to him, like music to his ear. Maybe the reason he was drawn by the mysterious women that night was because of the familiarity of her advances. Maybe he was not really over her, maybe he was not over you. He lets his standards clouded everything he ever wanted in life that when something threatens to degrades his future, he cuts them off without considering your feelings. Your smile is brighter now that he's gone. He remembers how does hands feel in his, and the laughter that comes from you, how he used to be the only one listening to it. He was terribly obsessed with you, but now he can't be that person anymore. You're someone's wife.

Seokjin is having everything Namjoon could have had. "Congratulations, on your marriage," Namjoon gritted his teeth at the sight of you and Seokjin, clenching his jaws. Seokjin was too happy to realize. "Thank you, you're very kind..." You said, flashing him a teethy grin. "Are you single?" You asked Namjoon and the boy nodded, slowly. "...Don't worry Namjoon, you'll find someone you deserve," Seokjin patted Namjoon's shoulder to comfort him, genuinely. Namjoon gazes up to you and hissed, "Maybe."

The whole ordeal was damaging for both sides. Being with Seokjin made you realise that the essence of marriage should not be casted so low. He said to you, "Don't play someone elses' feelings, just because you're unsure about yours..." How true was that statement. What a chaos a heartbroken girl brought to her life just because she wasn't ready to let go someone who clearly didn't deserve her. How lowly it was for her to place her happiness in the hands of others, how disappointing it was to create such gameplay, just to prove her point... You didn't have to do any of that. But you let your mind overcome your heart that you felt the bleeding in the blood chambers but kept pushing when you knew you should stop. You should have stopped and moved on. But if you did, you wouldn't find Seokjin. And no one would know, how kind Seokjin could be. 

He blasted your heart wide open.

[renegadesfanfic]

Can u do something about Jackie finding out and then telling Steve she’s pregnant

I’m sorry for how long this took! Thank you for sending this in!! This is actually how I plan on it playing out in the actual story but with more details, hope you enjoy it!

Jacqueline was laid out on the hotel bed, simmering in the silence that surrounded her. The rain had just started to fall in London. It was the perfect weather to follow Peggy’s funeral.

She was all alone.

Sharon had left after news reports reached them about the bombing at the signing of the Accords. Steve and Sam left when it was shown that the possible culprit was Bucky.

“You’re leaving?”

“I’m sorry, I have to find him before they do.”

Of course. When it came to Bucky, Steve was willing to do anything for him. He was his best friend. She couldn’t ask him to stay. She reluctantly agreed. Steve told her to get some rest and that he would see her soon. So that’s what she did. She spent the next hour lying on the hotel bed, her eyes staring at the ceiling. Her mind reeling over the grief she felt over losing Peggy. It was eating away at her.

She needed to do something to distract herself. She ordered food from room service and it arrived about thirty minutes later. She sat on the bed and began to slowly eat.

For a moment, Jacqueline had wished she’d gone with Steve. It would have been a lot better than to just sit in this hotel room…alone. However, Steve was rather adamant that she stay here. She had almost fainted in the church after Peggy’s funeral, and she hadn’t been feeling all that well the past few days. He didn’t want to risk making her feel even worse.

Jacqueline could feel her stomach lurch. She paused, food still in her mouth, when she felt something slither up her throat. She jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. When she finished, Jacqueline flushed the bile down and struggled to pull herself up to her feet. She steadied her hands on the sink, feeling another wave of dizziness hit her.

What the hell is wrong with me?

She turned on the faucet and rinsed her mouth out with water, then retreated back to the bed. She had to put the food away, even just the sight of it was making her feel sick. Jacqueline gently laid herself on the bed, hoping that getting some sleep would make it go away.

However, as she laid there, she began to run through all the symptoms she’s been experiencing the past few weeks. Nausea, dizziness, vomiting, and food cravings. She could feel her stomach lurch at that last one. Food cravings. Jacqueline turned to lay on her back, feeling a small sense of dread start to come over her. Nausea, dizziness, vomiting, and food cravings, those were all signs of….no.

She shook her head, “no, it can’t be.” Then, it hit her. Her period had been somewhat…inconsistent. Very light, not lasting the same amount of time. It did alarm her at first, but she just chalked it up to her being stressed from her. But now she was putting all the pieces together.

Jacqueline sat up in bed, her hand slowly went to rest against her flat stomach. Could it be? “Oh my god.”

There was only one way to find out.

She went to the nearest pharmacy and purchased two pregnancy tests. Upon returning to her hotel room, she wasted no time. She tore open the pregnancy tests, quickly read through the instructions.

If you are not pregnant, the words “not pregnant” will appear. If you are, then the word “pregnant” will appear.

She took the tests, set them down on the bathroom counter and then waited. The instructions said that the results would be ready five minutes after taking the test. She set a timer  on her phone and began to pace about the room, panicking over what it would say.

If she was pregnant, what the hell was she going to do? This was the worst possible time for her to get pregnant. She and Steve have only been together a little over a year. They haven’t even talked about having kids. Usually couples would discuss getting married first.

“Fuck,” she sat down on the bed. How could this have happened? They always used protection, they were never stupid about it. It had to have been defective. That’s the only way this could’ve happened.

Her phone buzzed as the timer ran out. Five minutes was already up. She stared at the bathroom, the two tests sitting on the counter, dripping with intimidation. Need to find out. She pushed herself off the bed and wandered into the bathroom. Her heart pounded against her chest, throat constricting. She picked up both tests, her hands shaking with the anticipation. Then, she saw the word she had been dreading.

Pregnant

Time seemed to slow down. Her gazed fixed from one test to the other. She couldn’t believe it…she was pregnant. Her back pressed against the bathroom wall, then slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor.

“This can’t be happening…” she whispered to herself. She stared down at the tests in her hands, each time she read the word, her heart would beat faster. She felt nauseous, not able to comprehend the information that was just placed upon her, at the worst time too.

She dropped the tests next to her and washed her hands down her face. “What the hell do I do?”  

She had to call Steve. Or her mother. Who does she tell first? How the fuck does she even start to process all of this?

Her hand slowly moved to her stomach, as she looked down, her tears welled up with tears. “What am I going to do?”

The next day, Jacqueline was standing in the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre in Berlin, exhausted and nauseous. Tony had found her in London, practically begging her to come with him to Berlin.

“It’s about Steve.”

Steve had found Bucky…so did the task force. Steve, Bucky, and Sam were brought in. Bucky was kept in a secured room, while Sam and Steve were kept in the main control room. But Tony didn’t just bring her to ease her worry over Steve, no there was more to it than that.

“Just talk to him for me.”

“About the Accords? You know he’s not going to listen to me.”

“Yeah, well, you two are together. I’m sure he values your opinion.”

“He’s a grown man, Tony. I’m not going to force him to do anything.”

It almost turned into a full fledge argument between Tony and Jacqueline. The latter finally bit her tongue and agreed to do it. But she made sure to tell him that he better not expect any kind of results.

She stepped into the enclosed meeting room in the middle of the control room. Steve was already sitting at the table, his back towards her, still trying to calm down from the conversation he had with Tony not too long ago. But she paused as the nausea hit her again.

Come on, keep it together.

She took a deep breath, then pressed forward. Steve turned in his seat upon hearing her behind him, he sighed before shaking his head. “Tony asked you to come here.”

Jacqueline nodded quietly. “Yeah,” she gently sat down in the seat across from him. “He knew I was worried about you. And, he wanted me to talk to you about the Accords.”

Steve straightened in his seat, letting out a frustrated groan. “He tried talking to me about it again and it,” he shook his head again, tired over having the same argument with him. “It didn’t know the way either of us wanted.”

“Guess that’s where I come in.” She answered, completely deadpan.

“You changed your stance on the Accords?”

Jacqueline thought for a moment, really trying to hide the fact that she felt like passing out. She cleared her throat, then rested her cheek against her hand. “No, I haven’t. I don’t even know what to say to you. You’re capable of making your own decisions, I would never dare to tell you what to do.”

He reached for her hand, glancing around to make sure no one was watching them. They still had to keep their relationship quiet. “I do appreciate that, but I do want to know how you feel about it all.”

“I don’t really care about the Accords anymore.” She brushed her thumb over his hand. “I’ve got…other things on my mind.”

He leaned a little closer, his brows creased with worry. “Is everything alright?”

Oh god, she stood from her seat and stared out the glass, how was she supposed to tell him? Does she just come right out and say it? Or, should she ease him into the information? Either way, it was going to surprise him. She still couldn’t believe that it happened.

“Hey,” Steve stood from his chair and walked over to her, forcing himself to not wrap her in his arms. Not with this many people around them. “Jacks, what’s wrong?”

She slowly turned to face him, nearly bursting into tears at the concerned look in his eyes. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, but she choked back a sob and her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know how to tell you,” she tearfully admitted.

This was killing him. All he wanted to do was hug her and tell her that, whatever was bothering her, it would all be okay. But he was caught off guard by how Jacqueline nearly fell into him, he caught her, arms holding her close to him.

“Hey, are you alright?”

She wasn’t. Crying didn’t make her nausea any better. She literally almost passed out.

Her hands held onto his arms for support, allowing the wave to settle down. “I-yeah, I’m fine.”

Steve wasn’t convinced. He guided her over to the chair, “Do you want me to get you some water?”

Jacqueline shook her head as she eased herself down into the chair. “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

Steve occupied the seat in front of her, inching himself closer to her. “No, you’re not. Tony shouldn’t have brought you here.”

“I’m glad he did.”

“Jacks, you’re clearly not well. He should have let you go home.”

“No. I need to tell you something.” She had his attention now. She stared into his blue eyes, scared as to how he would take the news. “I-I don’t know how to say this,”

He took a hold of her hand, “Just tell me.”

She tightened the hold she had on his hand, preparing herself for the oncoming reaction. “I’m pregnant.”

Silence.

Steve’s eyes were glossed over, but incredibly clear. Shock was the first thing he experienced. Then, it worked to denial. “You’re…you’re pregnant?”

Jacqueline could only nod her head, barely able to keep looking him in the eyes.

He stood up and began to pace up and down the briefing room. How could this have happened? They were careful, right? Yeah, they were definitely careful. But not obviously not careful enough because she just told him that she was pregnant. Steve rubbed his mouth, trying to clear his head enough to deal with this head on. He turned back towards her his chest aching at the tears streaming down her cheeks. “You’re sure that you are?”

“Yeah, I mean,” she wiped at her cheeks. “I took two tests and they were both positive.”

He blew out a breath, completely at a loss for words. “I mean…how did this happen?”

“I don’t know, the only thing I can think of is that the protection we used was defective.” That was the only explanation for this. “I should have pieced it all together sooner.”

“What do you mean?”

She huffed out a breath. “All the signs were there the whole time. I was just not paying attention. I mean, nausea, exhaustion, I couldn’t hold down food, not to mention the cravings that came out of nowhere.” She buried her face in her hands, thinking how she could be so oblivious to it all. “Why didn’t I notice it sooner?” A new round of tears stung at her waterline, but she didn’t try to hold them back. Then, a few sobs slipped past her lips. “This is a fucking nightmare.”

Steve cringed at her words, even though it wasn’t planned he wouldn’t consider her being pregnant to be a nightmare. “Hey,” he approached her, hands went to rub at her shoulders. “Jacks, it’s not a nightmare.”

She nodded. “Yes it is.” Her words were muffled behind her hands. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

His hand cupped her cheek, prompting her to finally look at him. “It’s okay,” he assured her. “We’ll figure it out, okay?” His declaration only brought more tears to her eyes. Without thinking, Steve wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. He didn’t care if anyone saw, they could come up with a good excuse.

Now, the reality was starting to sink in. Jacqueline was pregnant….with his child. It made a shiver go down his spine. He gave up the idea of having a family years ago. Being a father was something he thought a lot about before the war. But it was a reality now. He was going to be a father. And that fact scared him to death.

[jksmoongf]

Baby’s Breath [pt. 1]

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Angst /fluff (maybe smut later) Wordcount: 2k Plot:  Sometimes one reckless night is all it takes to completely turn your life upside down. But what if you can’t even trust your best friends to keep your secret?

It was a beautiful day in Seoul. Summer was still fighting hard to justify its stay during the day but fall was slowly but surely taking over in the evening hours. The leaves were starting to change color before disappearing entirely when winter would come and the air was slightly crisper than just a week ago.


Just a week ago… her life seemed perfectly normal; trying her hardest to balance work and seeing her boyfriend as much as humanly possible. Secretly dating an idol wasn’t easy but it was worth it- Jungkook was worth it. When they were together, he made her feel like anything was possible; like she was on top of the world. He introduced her to many new things and people - to a life most people could only dream of. But she knew that the bubble they were in was about burst.

She was making her way home after stopping in the local pharmacy on her way from work. The air was slightly chilly, so she tightly wrapped her boyfriends’ favorite bomber jacket around her torso. His scent still lingered on it and filled her body with comfort and warmth. Something that might be taken away from her sooner than she had ever hoped for. Her right hand carefully slid into the pocket, clutching the little box that would maybe change her life forever. Pushing all thoughts aside until she reached her apartment, was the only thing she could do; fearing that she might break down in the middle of the street. 

When she entered the building, the little old lady from the second floor was getting her mail, giving her a genuine smile. “They still haven’t fixed the elevator.”, the lady said, discontent swinging in her voice. She simply nodded, not giving the old lady a proper answer. Walking up the stairs took longer, giving her time to prolong doing the most dreadful thing she could think of. With every step her heart got heavier, it almost seemed impossible for her to keep walking. But no, she needed to be optimistic, at least for now. Nothing was set in stone, lives had not changed, everything was going to be okay. 
She locked her apartment door behind her, even closing the little chain lock as if anyone would just come barging in at any second; keeping the entire world out
Carefully she placed the little box on the wooden table, her phone - display facing down, right next to it. Before taking a seat, she grabbed a big bottle of water from the fridge, knowing all too well that her body would deny her of any bodily functions without her chugging down a large amount of fluids. The little carton box felt so light in her hands, but yet it carried so much meaning and change. How could it be that the content of this small white box would possibly determine not only her but also Jungkook’s future? She placed the plastic stick on the table, her eyes frantically scanning the instructions on the paper. 
 She shook her head, trying to clear her vision as the letters were getting blurry and melting together. With shaking hands, she unscrewed the lid of the bottle and like her life depended on it downed most of the water. 

When the time finally came, the minutes of waiting seemed to drag on forever. How could she possibly have thought that exams and presentations or that job interview were the hardest things she had done in her life when this was by far worse than any of the things she had experienced. This was pure agony and torture. She wished that Jungkook was with her, holding her hand and then laughing about how silly it had been to be scared in the first place. But he wasn’t here, he didn’t even know. Why worry him when there was nothing to be worried about, yet. 
The timer on her phone went off, ripping her from her thoughts. She tapped the display with her finger, while her other hand reached for the instructions again, making sure she had read the results part correctly. Her breathing was shallow as she turned the plastic stick around, previously avoiding looking at it to diminish any false sense of hope. The little window in the plastic revealed two lines. Her eyes widened as she held it close to her face, hoping that her eyes were just playing tricks on her. 
 Pregnant.

She read the paper over and over again, checking the stick, comparing the little pictures to the real thing in her other hand. One line - not pregnant. Two lines - pregnant. There were, against all odds, two very apparent lines. Both things she had held in her hands fell to the wooden surface. She quickly pushed the chair back and hurried into the bathroom; emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. 
Wiping her mouth, she leaned back against the cool tiles of the wall. This wasn’t happening, the universe was playing a cruel joke on her that she was sure of. Her hand subconsciously laid on her stomach. Was there really a tiny human growing inside of her? 

 The night she spent tossing and turning, not being able to sleep. Her mind was occupied with how on earth she was going to tell Jungkook. How would he react? After all, they had only been dating for a little over a year, this was all happening too soon. But this was a secret she could not keep from him, although their entire relationship was built on secrets and hiding. She had blown him off last night after he had tried to convince her to let him sleep over after practice. He didn’t deserve the way she had spoken to him but she had feared that she would crack and completely lose it on the phone. She rolled over to check her phone. 6:37. And a text from her boyfriend; apologizing and asking if she wanted to come over after work. He was apologizing even though she snapped at him.

In the evening she headed to the dorms, after an exhausting day at work. She was thankful for the first time in life for all the traffic in Seoul. It gave her an opportunity to go through all possible scenarios in her head of how he could react. Knowing all too well that reality was never like how you pictured it in your head; she knew that there were only two realistic options. Either it turned out bad or good, and she was tightly clutching her hopes to the latter of the two. 
As the elevator was taking her up to the designated floor, she could feel her body breaking into cold sweats, her hands were shaky and her heart was pounding against her ribs. For a second she contemplated hitting the red emergency button that would stop the elevator all together, giving her more time. How long could she hide this from him? A few months until she started showing? He would never forgive her. The sound of a bell announced that she was on the right floor. The metal doors slid open, revealing Jungkook leaning against the doorframe, already waiting for her. It took all of her willpower to get her legs moving towards him. When did her life turn into a drama on tv? 
“Hey.” A smile spread across his tired face, stepping aside to let her in; quickly closing the door. He crashed his lips on hers before wrapping his arms around her. “Hey.”, she whispered, trying to hold back the tears that unexpectedly filled her eyes. “How was work? You didn’t text me on your break. Was it busy?”, he asked as she slipped out of her shoes. “Yeah sorry, I didn’t go on a break today. I had a lot of paperwork to fill out.” That was a good white lie, he’d never suspect that she had been avoiding him until now when it was inevitable. “Well, now you can relax.” He wrapped his arms around her from behind, one of his hands was resting on her stomach; making her heart sink. He wouldn’t be touching her like that if he knew. They awkwardly waddled like that to his room. “Where are the others?”, she asked, sitting down on the little couch. “In their rooms, we’re just waiting for Hoseok and Namjoon to come home and then we’ll order food. The boys want to play board games after if you’re down.” He was sat in his chair, staring at the screen of his laptop. Of course, he had been playing Overwatch but now he swung around, eyeing her but she just shrugged. “Yeah, okay.” He tilted his head to one side. “Is everything okay? You love playing games with them.”, Jungkook stated matter of factly. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” She reached out her hand and gently stroked his knee when she heard the front door shut and loud voices echoed through the apartment. “Oh, the hyungs are back.” Jungkook jumped up excitedly and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go order food, I’m starving. Do you want Korean food or pizza? Fried chicken would be good too but I really want noodles and maybe fried rice.”, he rambled on while pulling her into the living room where the others were sat waiting. They were all chatting with each other, not a care in the world. She was desperately wishing she was a part of the conversation, but her thoughts kept drifting off to the tiny, tiny baby. 
Her eyes darted to her boyfriend, who snatched the menu from Taehyung’s hand while laughing at something Jimin had said. The crinkles around his eyes, his scrunched up nose…why did she feel like she was about to make all those happy features disappear from his face? 

When the food arrived, they were all sat around the kitchen table. The boys were stuffing their faces with all the different dishes they had ordered, while she sometimes put a small piece of vegetable in her mouth, chewing on it for way too long. She just couldn’t eat, the nauseous feeling in her stomach that was spreading through her body ever since last night, made it impossible for her to keep anything down. 
 Jungkook’s big brown eyes were glued to her, noticing how little she was eating. If one could even count that as eating; she was just picking her food; moving it around the plate. He got up, walked around the table. “Can we talk for a minute?”, he asked her, to which she nodded and followed him to his room. “Y/n, what's wrong? You’re not eating.” He pulled her closer, using both of his hands to brush her hair from her face, his thumbs gently rubbing her cheeks. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes; trying to enjoy their last moment of happiness before she destroyed it all. “Do I have to worry about you? Are you sick?” He gently pressed his lips to her forehead, then the tip of her nose before softly pecking her lips. 
She inhaled deeply, eyes still closed. “I’m not sick, Jungkook.” Her voice sounded weak like it was about break. “I’m pregnant.” 
The moment his warm, gentle hands left her face; she opened her eyes. He was frozen in shock, arms hanging down beside his body, just staring at her. His mouth was opening and then closing again without making a sound. “What?” He asked finally, hoping that she had said something else. “I’m pregnant.”   He was breathing heavily, his face was pale, eyes still wide and he looked sickly like he was about to throw up. “B-but I don’t want a baby…”

[stardustpubs]

From Neverland

     What does it mean to love someone? Do you have to sacrifice everything for the sake of their happiness? Will it come naturally over time? Are there things you have to change about yourself? How does it last forever? May be these are all the wrong questions to ask. May be it's the wrong perception of love. People often stereotypes love; but in actuality; love is diverse, a different case for everyone. Written in these pages is the final journal entry of a man who struggled to keep his love going, but instead, witnessed the death of his high school sweetheart from  a deadly disease that had torn apart many. Being in love with someone for years until you are forced to move on whether you like it or not is no easy task. I guess forever is not enough to measure how one can love. A lifetime? May be. Probably. We might never know. These things should just be left aside as a superficial distant future. For all we know, love is boundless.

A dashing first attempt of a bittersweet love story that is relatable in some way or another.

A/N: Picture does not belong to me and if the original artist is identified, please credit and cite accordingly. Thank you. Source: Pinterest

November 21, 2017

Huxley Lofts Apartments, Room 208

478 Railroad Street, Groton, NY

      A month has passed since tragedy struck this apartment. It's been an entire month of wistfulness and wander. The incident almost seems like a dream by now, slowly sinking to memory, scar emerging. But echoes and memoirs of my past deeds, whether in bliss or in woe, still haunts me to my very being.

    Me. Her. Us. And everything in between.

    It all begs me to remember when I try my best to forget. But maybe I don't need to forget. May be what I need is to learn from it. Sounds cliché doesn't it? That's because it is. And it's pitiful enough for me to advise myself some sappy life lesson that I'm sure will not even pursue. Sigh.

    'If only I'd ran faster.'

    'If only I had kept my mouth shut.'  

    'May be only then, I wouldn't feel so empty right now.'

    'And broken.'

    'And alone.'

    'And lost.'

    These were the thoughts I had on that cold winter night. I still do feel the same, yes, only lighter. The wound is still there but not as deep anymore because I do not intend to be held back by these thoughts forever. Regretting the things I failed to do or what I could have done will not and will never change what had already happened. I have to keep moving forward. I need to let her be the doves and sing among the stars in Neverland. At least, that is what she want me to do and I have to keep my word close to my heart at all times.

    What a horrible way to start an entry, I know. I was never really good a writing introductions. Let's just hope I can write the ending better. Anyway, like I said before, I need to keep moving forward, and I'll start by narrating the events that took the life of one (MY) Wendy 'Darling'.

    Welp, here goes nothing.

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    It was hours afterwards when I found myself weaving hastily through the crowded streets of the city: through the loud chatters of passersby, the constant ringing of phones, and the bickering of cards and buses; an irritating cacophony of the city's night life. I mean, it's the same for the day, but still, irritating. Not to mention the invasive contact of skin and the quick warm breath of the people made it difficult to breathe. Or was it just me? I'm not so sure anymore. What's worse though is that it was so freaking cold. I had nothing but a jacket, a plain shirt, a pair of sweat pants, and sandals on in the middle of November. It was such an embarrassment to be seen in such thin clothing.

    To be honest, I just sort of ran out the door and didn't bother to put on anything else since getting the medicine for Wendy was my top priority at that moment. Besides, it doesn't really matter now, does it? It was always my fault anyway. I got carried away by the heat of the moment and overreacted. We had another argument, well, the same argument actually. It's all she has been saying about over these past few months.

    "Arthur, I don't want to take my medications anymore," she said in a weak frail voice.

    I stood by the bedside table measuring her prescriptions with mouth agape but not entirely. Shell shocked, sure, but seemingly - ok, may be it was obvious- annoyed by the consistency of her pleas.

    "Yet you never do," I replied.

    "I'm sure of it this time," she responded with great confidence.

    "Sigh. Why even what that, Sunshine? If that happens, I'll be lonely for the rest of my days."

    I flashed her a soft wavering smile before she mumbled, "But you don't have to be," her eyes wet with tears. At that moment, I dove in to the edge of the bed and caressed her cheeks as I attempt to stop her from crying.

    With my heart rumbling, my stomach churning, and my smile faltering, I asked, "What's wrong, Darling?"

    "I am! I've caused you nothing but trouble this past year. I'm a burden to you, Arthur. I always have been."

    "What are you saying? No you're not. Never have I thought of you like that," I argued in return.

    "Just look at you. You work 4 hours a days at 3 part-time jobs each and for what? 3 bottles of 'booze' a month that doesn't even seem to work while you struggle to pay the rent. No sleep, no eat, all work; you're basically as dead as me."

    "So, what are you implying?"

    "Forget about me. Think about yourself for once."

    'But we decided this would only be temporary until we can afford for your surgery."

    "Yeah, well, I'm deciding something else now."

    "And I decided we will never speak of this again!" I said with a raised voice.

    Silence enveloped the room. Not one of us dared to utter a word for the moment. But the presence of it was foreboding, and so I spoke, "It's time for your medicine". I grabbed the tray littered with bottle sand cups from the table and placed it between ourselves like a boundary before guiding one of the cups towards her mouth.

    "I don't want to," she pouted.

    Irritated, I said, "Enough is enough, honey. Drink the medicine."

    "No."

    "Drink-"

    "I said no!"

    "Just drink the god-medicine, Wendy," I exclaimed as I shoved her the medicine.

    "NO!"

    Next thing I knew, there was a slap at my wrist and a thump in my lap alongside the clattering of plastic and shattering of glass. It took me a second staring at the pool of chemical splattered on the floor before I processed what had just happened: She shattered her one chance of survival I so desperately worked hard to give her. And then, I broke down into fits...

    "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I SPENT ON THAT? FOR YOU AND FOR THAT CAD SHIT?"

    "Arthur, I'm-" she stammered.

    "NO, YOU'RE NOT! ALL THIS TIME, YOU'VE ONLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT! WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT? ALL I WANTED WAS TO SEE YOU GET BETTER. I WANTED YOU TO LIVE. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I WANTED TO KEEP LOVING YOU!"

    "WE'RE NOT LIVING IN A FAIRY TALE, ARTHUR. WE'RE NOT IN NEVERLAND LIKE WE ALWAYS BELIEVED. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS HAPPILY EVER AND THERE WILL NEVER WILL BE. THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT ARE JUST MEANT TO BE BROKEN. AND I'M ONE OF THEM. IF YOU TRULY LOVE ME, THEN LET ME GO. WE'RE BOTH SUFFERING IF WE CONTINUE TO LIVE LIKE THIS."

    The thought of such deed struck a chord in my heart which left me speechless once again. But knowing myself, I refuse to accept such fate, and I decided to make sure of it.

    "Stay here. I'll be back in a few minutes," I ordered in the most calming voice I could muster at that time.

    "Where do you plan on going?"

    "The pharmacy."

    "In the middle of the night? That's 4 blocks away! You can't be serious!"

    I ignored her nevertheless as I reached for my jacket in the closet, but she held onto my arm before I could do so and pleaded, "Please, Arthur, just stop it already. It's not worth it. It’ll be too late. Please!” However, I just shook her off and went anyway and said, "For you, anything is worth it," because apparently, apathetic is what I am.

    The mere lights of each lamppost illuminated a small portion of the darkened setting against the bright fluorescent lights; guiding me and leading me home. A sudden burst of rain made everything dreamy and hazy. While others went to seek refuge, I dashed across the crosswalk with a bag of necessities, passing door after door. I was completely soaked, but I couldn't care less. I was desperate to return to the apartment. And when I did, she was right. It was too late...I was too late. "Wendy, I'm back," I called out. What I expected to be the woman of my dreams to welcome me home, instead, I found a pale figure drowned in blankets sleeping soundly in our bed, a single piece of paper rested over her hand:

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    And that was the end of it, the end of our supposed to be never-ending story. When the paramedics came, they informed me that she died shortly after I left her from a heart attack due to high blood pressure. It was my fault. Everything was fault. I was the one who ruined everything. But that's beside the point. What matters right now is how I shall move on from such a tragedy.

    Do I call myself a widower now? We haven't actually gotten engaged or anything, I guess not. Would I even learn to love again? It depends on how I see it now. If I would have guess, I once believed wholeheartedly on the concept of forever, yet, I never really understood any of it. But I think I do now; it's a lie. Forever is a beautiful you wished to believe with someone and cherished it together against all odds.

    You know what, may be Wendy and I aren't meant to be forever. May be it was only meant for a lifetime, at least, Wendy's. I still have all the time in world that I can spend loving her. May be I won't end it just yet - or maybe I won't. We'll never know. But when I do, I'm going to tell her all about it in another life.

Signing off,

James Arthur Celestine, Her Peter Pan.

PS. What do you know, I did write a better ending!

[sky-girls]

When reality hits you

Well this chapter is kinda short and kinda pointless but I hope you guys like it Find the rest of the chapters here

The moment she stands on her two feet right outside of the hospital she feels weird, she doesn’t know why or how exactly but she feels weird. She feels weird the whole car ride, she feels weird waiting on the car with Gastón while Matteo goes to the pharmacy, she feels weird when she hears the sound of keys opening the door and she feels weird when she enters Matteo’s apartment.

He and Gastón are both smiling softly and kindly at her the whole time, Gastón cracks some jokes she genuinely laughs at, Matteo says things that makes her roll her eyes at him and want to punch him as usual, but the feeling of having a pressure on her chest, the feeling of being able to hear every little nose, feel every little move, never really leaves her. She is too aware of everything and at the same time she has trouble processing it all, the world slows down in such a way that every seconds feels like an eternity. And her own brain has become somehow slower, not being able to catch up with all the information it’s getting to it.

She doesn’t know why and it’s not like she is not happy for leaving the hospital, she truly is but that happiness has been shoved to the back by a feeling she doesn’t recognize, she would say it’s anxiety but she has no reasons to be anxious, all she has wanted for all this time is to leave that damned hospital. Why would she even be anxious about it?

“You don’t mind do you?” Matteo asks and she needs a second to search her mind and realize he has been talking about how she will have to sleep on the couch. She looks at it, she won’t have any problems to sleep on it, it’s big enough for an average sized person and she is way below average in that sense.

“No, not at all. “She says truthfully and he smiles. He seems so calm and that only makes the pressure on her chest get heavier and heavier.

“Well, kiddos.” Gastón says from the door. “I gotta go to work but I will come back later bearing fast food.”

“Don’t you have work today too?” She asks turning to Matteo, she remembers him saying that him and Gastón have the exact same shift.

“I asked for some time to take care of you.” He tells her ignoring Gastón’s awwing on the background. “Which reminds me that Tamara actually wants to meet you too.”

“Tamara?” She asks trying to ignore the panicked feeling of more people that comes to her.

“She is our  boss.” He says and Gastón nods. “Her and Juliana.”

“But Juliana is like the boss boss.” Gastón explains which actually doesn’t help at all. “So we don’t see her that much, which is good because she scares me.”

“She’s cool.” Matteo says rolling his eyes. “Scary but cool.”

“If you ask me she is just scary.” Gastón mumbles. “But whatever, I need to leave.”

“Good luck, bro.”Mateo says and she waves as the door.

Once the door closes silence fills the room and awkwardness starts making itself present in the air, she looks at Matteo saying nothing and he just sort of smiles at her, not talking either.

“You didn’t have to take the day off.” She mumbles, looking straight into the wall behind him and not his eyes.

“I wasn’t going to leave you alone in the first day you were out of the hospital or week actually.” He says sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to him for her to sit down, she hesitates for a second but does it. “Besides I need to make sure you won’t steal anything and run with it.”

“And where would I even go?” She asks, relieved that the familiar teasing tone is back, she feels a little bit of the pressure on her chest go away. “Back to the hospital?”

“I don’t know.” He chuckles. “Maybe this whole thing was just a scam to get all of my money.”

“Shit, you figured it out.” She pretends to be shocked. “Please don’t tell the police I didn’t manage anyway, I wouldn’t survive in jail.”

“You are too cute.” He agrees and she blushes a little. “They would chew you up and then spit you out.”

“Hey!” She exclaims offended. “I’m not that defenseless, okay?”

“Whatever you say, cucciola.” He says putting emphasis on the last word making her pout and cross her arms over her chest.

“I’m not a puppy.”  She says, with a yawn interrupting the middle of her complaints, stupid medications making her sleepy in the middle of the day.

“You so are. “He says flicking her nose, making her scrunch it. He stands going who knows where and leaves her sitting on the couch.

She looks around, the place is tidy and organized, it’s not too full of stuff but not too empty, the windows are wide and perfect to see the beautiful landscape that is Buenos Aires from a fifteenth floor. She doesn’t really know if it fits Matteo, she doesn’t know him that much but it somehow clicks. She yawns again.

She can hear Matteo somewhere in the house, moving some stuff but she has no idea what he is doing, she lays on the couch, she doesn’t think he would mind if she decides to take a small nap.

She is really tired for some reason, maybe the weird sensorial experience of actually going out to the real world even for a while after being trapped in a place that’s basically stopped in time.

She closes her eyes and she thinks she feels Matteo’s footsteps come to the living room and a blanket being softly thrown over her before he walks away to some other place but she can’t be sure. She curls up on herself, trying to find a more comfortable position when she does she finally falls into a deep sleep.

He doesn’t really registers it at first, he is not used to taking care of people so he doesn’t have immediate reactions to this kind of stuff, he hears it but he doesn’t stop cooking, not until the whimpers become louder and he finally fully remembers that there’s a girl sleeping on his couch.

He turns off the stove and quickly leaves the kitchen, terrified that something bad happened to her and he has to drive her to drive her to the hospital right this second. Once he gets to the living room he finds her curled up into a ball on the couch, she is frowning and shaking a little. Kati told him she tends to get nightmares, she doesn’t know what about, forgets them as soon as she opens her eyes but apparently they are bad enough to leave her shaking and crying after them.

He is not sure if the not waking up someone also applies for nightmares and not just sleepwalking but just to be sure he just sits next to her, she has curled up small enough that he has no problems fitting in the space between her head and the armrest, she lets out a small sob, the kind of sob that breaks your heart with how heartfelt it is.

She curls up even more, hugging herself and bringing the blankets closer to her body, he sits closer to her, lifting her head softly, resting it in his lap and moving her fingers through her hair.

She sobs again and this time he can feel the way her body shakes completely before the tears go back to falling silently through her cheeks, he has no idea what to do or how to do it, he wants her to calm down, to go back to the peaceful sleep she had for the last hour, seeing her like this breaks his heart. Her nose is red, her cheeks are too except on those places the tears have left their mark s they run down them, she looks so small, so lost, so broken.

It’s so easy sometimes to forget how hard this whole thing must be for her, she is always so cheerful, always so ready to laugh with him but not only has she lost everything she has she also can’t remember it which means that as for now she has absolutely no way to get it back.

Matteo idly wonders if there’s something for her to come back at all but doesn’t take the question too seriously, everyone has someone or something and he can’t imagine such a bright, full of life girl being the exception.

She stirs a little in his lap and looks up at him blinking slowly, as soon as she realizes her position she sits, cleaning the tears away with the back of her hand and looking straight into the turned off tv, he wants to hug her but he doesn’t want to startle her either so he just sits closer to her.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He says, he lifts his hand but to be honest he has no idea what he is going to do with it so he just lets it fall back into the couch. She doesn’t answer, she just hugs herself, taking deep breaths through her mouth. He can’t handle it anymore, he hugs her.

She crumbles into his arms, hiding on his chest as she starts crying violently, he rubs soothing circles on her, humming softly the melody of a song his mother used to sing to him when he was a little kid and had nightmares too.

“I’m so sorry.” She mumbles after a while, pulling away, blushing a little.

“It’s okay.” He repeats taking his hand to her cheek, wiping the leftover tears off with his thumb. “If anyone in this world has a right to have nightmares that you.”

She smiles softly at him, it’s barely even a lift of the corner of her lips but still a full smile in her green eyes, he moves his thumb on her cheek again, this time meaning it as a caress.

“I don’t  even remember them, you know?” She asks softly, her voice strained with the effort to not burst into tears once again. “I just wake up feeling dizzy,with this awful feeling in my chest and this huge head ache and I just…I can only start crying and it’s ridiculous but…”

He hugs her again, holding her close to his chest, he can’t even begin to understand how she is feeling, maybe it’s because she is not the most articulate person right now but even if she could pinpoint her feelings perfectly and express them with just the right words he doesn’t think he could put himself on her place.

“Hey, are you hungry?” He asks pulling away and she just nods. “I was cooking some pasta, I was almost done actually so you can set the table if you feel like it.”

She stands up a little shaky but with a smile, he does the same and walks to the kitchen, hearing her footsteps behind him.

Once they are in the kitchen he goes back to his forgotten bolognese and lets her open all s cupboard and drawers as she takes what she needs as well as does some little exploring.

It’s weird to be doing something so domestic with someone else, he has never lived with anyone before, as soon as he finished school he managed to get an apartment alone knowing he appreciates his space more than he does company. And now he is willingly bringing someone into his space. As weird as it feels he doesn’t regret it nor he thinks that she will be any kind of bother or trouble, he will need to get used to it but somehow he doesn’t think it will be that hard.

He serves the plates and carries them to the table where Lu is already seated,  she doesn’t look out of place either. The more time passes they more sure they can make this work somehow.

“Hey.” He start, calling her attention. “Gastón wants to bring his girlfriend over tonight. “

She just nods at him and he is left waiting for an answer while she looks like she is expecting him to continue talking.

“So…” She prompts, taking a very big amount of pasta and shoving it on her mouth. He smiles amused, making her blush a little.

“So I wanted to ask you if you were okay with it.” He says and she looks at him confused.

“Why?” She asks frowning a little.

“I don’t want to overwhelm you.” She smiles at him and he feels a slight warm spread on his chest, he ignores it. “Do you think you will be okay with it? “

She looks down thoughtful, playing with her food and moving it around the plate absent mindedly, he is more than ready to tell Gastón not to come at all tonight when she looks up a small, hesitant smile on her face.

“Sure why not?” She shrugs a little awkwardly. “I gotta meet more people at some point anyway. “

“Are you sure you can handle it?” He asks softly.

“Is she nice?” She asks back.

“She is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever met.” He tells her, conveniently ignoring the fact that she is also one of the most curious ones too. He is a little bit worried about this but this is Nina and unlike her boyfriend she has some tact so probably  the awkward questions won’t start until the second time they meet.

“Then, yeah, I’m sure.”

He is late, he is so fucking late, actually he is a very normal amount of late for someone who is not familiar with the city or it’s streets or basically anything in the country but he doubts that Ámbar will care about it. He walks as fast as he can, searching for the number he has carefully memorized because Ámbar made him delete the message with the address as soon as possible.

He has no idea why she is so paranoid about this or where she is taking him, he has no idea of anything actually except for the fact that Luna is probably in some sort of trouble and he will do everything in his power to help her, even walk blindly around this whole situation only being lead by a woman he doesn’t fully trust.

He reaches the building he is supposed to get to and sees her leaning against it glaring at anything that’s close to her, he comes into her line of vision and she glares at him, with much more intensity than before.

“You are late.” She says as a greeting and he smiles sheepishly at her.

“I got lost.” He explains and she just rolls her eyes at him before opening the door of the building and walking in, leaving him behind.

He hurries to the door before it closes and then to the elevator where she already is.

“So where are we?” He asks and she just ignores him.

She never even hinted at what they will be doing at this place but so far it only looks like any other apartment building  on any city.He continues staring at her as she continues to ignore his question until the elevator’s doors open, she walks out, still not looking at him and he is left racing after her, feeling like a lost puppy.

She knocks softly on a door and he stands behind her, he figures there’s no point on asking anything now, the answers will come soon. He sees the doorknob twist and then a blonde woman smiling kindly at them.

He needs a second to notice but it’s undeniable how alike this woman and Ámbar are, the older blonde looks much more worn down, something that doesn’t seem to be only about the age, he throws one quickly look at her arms, all if  her inner arms are full of small scars in the form of tiny dots. He looks back up her eyes before she notices.

“You are here early.” She comments after hugging Ámbar, Simón sends her an annoyed look and she only smiles.

“Hi, I’m Simón.” He says kindly, seeing that Ámbar won’t introduce them.

“Hi, I’m Valeria.” She greets him, gesturing at them to get into the apartment. “Ámbar’s mom.”

He makes a conscious effort not to look at Ámbar, but his eyes never leave Valeria and he notices the unsure glance she throws in her daughter directions. If he didn’t know what was happening before he has absolutely no idea now but Ámbar obviously doesn’t want to tell this story or dwell on it in any way and he has to respect her wishes, no matter how much he wants to ask.

“And this.” She says when they reach the living room, finding a man around the same age as Valeria, sitting on the couch and dozing off in front of the tv. “Is Alejandro.”

“You can call me Ale.” He says standing up a little too quickly wanting to pretend he wasn’t sleeping at all. “And who are you ? Who did little queen A brought to our humble home?”

Simón sends a look at Ámbar that nickname but smiles at the guy he seems very nice and he must be the cop Ámbar mentioned. Or well she mentioned her mom has police connections which is basically the same. He hopes.

“I’m Simón.” He repeats giving Alejandro a handshake.

“We need to talk.” Ámbar interrupts them. “It’s important.”

“So did you mom say.” He says sitting back on the couch and inviting them to sit on the arm chairs  next to it.  “What is it about?”

Valeria sits next to him on the couch and looks at them intently.

“Do you remember Luna?” Ámbar asks them.

“The actual Sol Benson?” Valeria asks and he wonders why is she using the word actual.

“Yes, her.” Ámbar nods. “Well she has gone missing.”

“Did Sharon do anything to her?” Is the first question Alejandro asks and Simón turns to Ámbar alarmed.

“She asks like she has no idea where she is.” Ámbar tells them. “But I’m actually not sure.”

No one in the room seems in any sort of way surprised by this information, except him. What are the chances Sharon actually did something to Luna? Why would she after all the trouble she went through to bring her back to Argentina with her?

“What do you want me to do?” Alejandro speaks again in a serious tone and Ámbar sighs.

“I just want you to keep an eye on any person that might come out with her description.” She tells him and he nods. “She is a 1.54 meters brunette, green eyes, white skin, I don’t actually remember what she was wearing that day but she left in car without a number plate.”

“Anything else?”

“She has necklace with a moon on it.” Simón adds.

“With a sun and a moon on it.” Ámbar corrects him and Alejandro nods. “And Ale I need you to keep this a total secret.”

“You can count on me.” He promises and Ámbar smiles, it’s probably one of the most sincere smiles he has even seen on her face.

“If you need anything you know we are here.” Valera offers leaning closer to hold Ámbar’s hands, her smile turns somewhat softer, making her whole face change, she looks kinder now, it’s a good look on her.

“ I know.” She whispers. “Thank you.”

“Whatever you need.” Alejandro repeats, looking at both of them and Simón smiles thankful, he tries not to look at Ámbar and her mother, he feels like he is intruding.

[warcraftedtardis]

I did a Villain!Deku thing...

So @yanderesgalore is coauthoring a Villain!Deku X Reader? thing that may or may not make it all the way onto the internet, I dunno. But I wanted to go ahead and put up the section that I wrote ((cause it feels weird putting out work they did w/out really asking them first?? Even though I know they’re super chill and all I still don’t want to do that))

Basically Deku had a quirk that wasn’t designed for combat and it actually made him more of a target for people instead of less of one, and he finally snapped at the end of middle school. It’s rated T because swearing and murder-suicide. This is going to be dark.

From day one Midoriya Izuku was kicked around. First by Bakugou for not having a quirk, then by Bakugou for manifesting his quirk late, then --again by Bakugou-- for having a quirk that amounted to basically nothing. See a pattern?  He was still a ‘Deku’, still worthless, still worth less than Bakugou; still just a shitty, stupid Deku.

No his quirk wasn’t flashy, but it didn't have to be to draw attention. There were plenty of heroes without flashy quirks, and Izuku held onto that thread of hope like it was the whole fucking world. Then in middle school, it happened. When people started figuring out ways to use him. When he started drawing the wrong kind of attention.

Izuku produced chemical, scents, pheromones that elicit certain behaviors, certain moods, certain states of mind. A walking pharmacy. He could make even the most irrationally angry person calm and drowsy or the most prudish drop their pants with the softest of sighs. He refused to use it in this way, at least on other people. Izuku’s scents did affect himself, if there was enough of it. The teen used it to calm his nerves or boost his healing potential, or even help himself sleep at night. It seems the amounts he needed to produce, that he could produce to change his own mood, was more than enough to get other people high as a fucking kite.

Izuku Midoriya was cornered and beaten and harassed to produce more pheromones that his bullies could bottle and sell. And Bakugou did nothing. Bakugou just at there and watched. His childhood friend that taunted and spat on him now did nothing to stop others from hurting Izuku, from abusing him, from draining him dry just to get a fix or make a buck. No, he laughed at Izuku’s pain; he enjoyed it. And this person, this Bakugou Katsuki was going to become a hero? No, if people like Bakugou could become heroes, then it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

His ambition to become a hero fell apart if this was the system he’d have to work in.

No. Izuku couldn’t even aim for a doctor because of the scars around his quirk, around being used, around being physically and sexually assaulted just so other people could make themselves feel bigger, important, whole... No. NO. NO!

Izuku was done being a victim. If he couldn’t rise up and be a hero, then he sure as hell wasn’t going to let them keep stomping him down. Move up the foodchain and no one would hurt him again. No one. No. One. Not even Kacchan.

He smiled to himself on the day they cornered him. He’d been ‘hiding’ up on the roof, fingers curled in his hair and shivering as his body went into overdrive, preparing to spill gaseous chemical into the air like he was always forced to do. This time will be different though. So what if using his quirk on other people was illegal. Certainly what they were doing to him was worse. Yes, he’s righting a wrong here. Solving an injustice. It’s self defence, so it’s allowed, right? Making them freeze in terror at the air wafting around him, the pinkish cloud of sweet scented fumes pouring from his mouth. He watched as they twitched, eyes widening, pupils dilating, breathing increasing into shallow pants as their little hearts raced to the point of bursting.

Fear.

Chemically induced hysteria.

Fear for every second they gave him. Pain for every breath they stole from his throat. And the more he saw, the more this swelling sickness in his stomach felt right. The more the warmth in his cheeks spread through his body. Dominating someone else could feel this good? Izuku didn’t want to stop. He never wanted this feeling to go away, the control, the power. Is this how Bakugou felt, pinning Izuku to a wall and making him weep? Gods, is it ever addicting. Almost as addicting as Izuku’s breath could be. Sugary and sinister odors wafted from his lips as he stood, hips rolling slightly. He stalked forward, a seductive upward twist to his lips. Their ringleader had done such horrible things, he deserved this, he deserved more than this. “Hey, Hiagiri-kun?” Izuku cupped the other boy’s cheek, leaning in close so every panicked breath drew in more and more of his poison until the other’s eyes were glassy and his body shaking and straining. Izuku had his claws sunk so very deep in this other boy’s mind, only his voice could be hear, only him to be heeded. “Kill yourself for me.”

It worked. It worked so well. It was so easy. He watched as the boy jerkily took off his shoes, walked over to the railing and leaned over i-... Splat.

It was a gut-churning sound that sent a shudder through Izuku as he snapped out of the high he’d worked himself into. Terror and dread clawed icy in his chest. He couldn’t breath, he could barely think. Oh gods he just killed someone. Oh gods. Oh gods. Oh gods!

Izuku ran. He ran like hell, don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. Never look back. Never- He was only vaguely aware of Bakugou uttering a curse at him as he shoved the blonde aside, desperate to just get away. Get anywhere but here! The cloud from his lips was slowly turning a sickly purple with his own fear choking in his throat and getting sucked back down into his lungs again. His mind was buzzing so loudly with that cry to just get away that when he finally stumbled, landing on his face under an overpass, Izuku let out a hoarse sob and shakily rose to his aching feet. He couldn’t stop yet.

“Oh hey there~ I found a good looking vessel; in a rush to go somewhere?” It was a voice that sunk into his skull after a moment or two, the teen’s mind too fried to process what he’d just heard at first.

Izuku turned with wide, horrified eyes towards the sludge-like body that surged toward him. Senses still reeling in a confused mass, desperately trying to claw for any information that might help him get away. Anything. Where was he? Where did he go? Why can’t I breath?!

The green haired boy made the mistake of gasping, sucking up a lungfull of the slime coursing down his throat. He was being suffocated. He was dying. He was being punished for his arrogance. Izuku should know that he’d never be more than a victim. He’d never be able to claw up the food chain, he’s just a little bunny stuck on the bottom where everyone can prey on him.

Izuku’s body frantically struggled even as his mind flagged and then his quirk flared to life, pouring out every ounce of fear he internalized as a cloud of thick, purple steam. The slime dropped him and recoiled, the man behind the quirk thrust into the hallucinatory effects of overexposure, his body tinted black where the chemicals had absorbed into the viscous flesh.

“Interesting,” another voice, a wispy voice, murmured while Izuku was busy hacking up his lungs, spitting the blackish residue and residual mucous out. Just get it out.

The watery eyed teen eventually looked up at the swirling void in front of him and the glowing yellow gaze staring back at him. “Young man, what are you running from?” Two feet pressed into the ground before Izuku, a tailored suit and a metal collar formed out of the mists. Before the shaking boy was a grown man made entirely of shadows, a man’s whose very presence sent a chilling fear coursing through Izuku’s burning tongue and throat.

He stumbled over his words, the darkness in his stomach twisting into a cold knot, freezing his fear over. It was oddly clear all of a sudden. The sensation of his quirk being completely spent and him left an emotionless husk. Normally he hated the ice in his veins, but now he welcomed it. Welcomed the relieving cold. “I killed someone. They hurt me, so I hurt them more. They’re never going to hurt me again now... because I... I...” Midoryia’s ice melted the more he spoke, glimmering memories of the pain he’d endured came flooding back and fat, ugly tears started rolling down his face..

The mist placed a hand on his shoulder, hugging him, warm and tender. The ice melted more, melted faster. “Shhh, it’s okay.” Izuku’s body was all out of fight from his struggle to live just moments ago, from his panicked run, from using his quirk to kill. He went limp in the arms that lifted him up, eyes drooping and vision clouded by salt water. For the first time, someone’s touch was warm, someone that wasn’t his mother, someone knew what was happening and didn’t harm him. And Izuku... well nothing worse could happen to him that hasn’t already.

He let go. Midoriya Izuku let go just in time for All Might to touch down. But it didn’t matter, he was already in a dimly lit bar. Safe.

He was safe.

.

.

.

"Who the hell is that?" Tomura hissed, glaring at the child in Kurogiri's arms as if they were some kind of rabid animal.

"Just a rabbit I found. His quirk may be of some use to Sensei, and perhaps even to you." He chuckled, supporting the broken little thing in his arms as if they were the most precious person in the world. The child's eyes had been so dead, and the state that sludge guy had been left in after... It caught his interest. "I'll take him to my room to rest. Please don't concern yourself over this matter Tomura-kun. I'll handle everything personally."